E244 - Check it out!!
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN From Thorny
[01:49] Toshi
Sasaki Tetsunosuke?
[01:52] Kondo
Yeah, he's a member of
the famous Sasaki family
[01:54] Kondo
that produces all those
elite members of society.
[01:57] Kondo
But for some reason,
[01:59] ---
he's the only failure who screws around
[02:01] ---
and doesn't have a job.
[02:02] Kondo
He was becoming a problem,
so we took him in.
[02:07] Okita
So basically,
[02:08] ---
he's a spoiled brat who was
forsaken by his parents
[02:10] Okita
because they didn't want to look bad.
[02:12] Toshi
Kondo-san, this isn't a juvie.
[02:15] Toshi
You should turn him over to those
other cops, the Mimawarigumi.
[02:18] Tetsu
Yeah, it's me.
[02:20] Toshi
They're a bunch of elite
cops from famous families.
[02:20] Tetsu
I'm in a dojo or something right now.
[02:23] Tetsu
This is lame.
[02:23] Toshi
Isn't their leader a Sasaki?
[02:25] Tetsu
Can I go home?
[02:27] Okita
They probably kept shuffling him
[02:29] ---
around until he ended up here.
[02:31] Okita
Fine, let him in my first squad.
[02:34] Okita
I'll send him straight into a
battle and straight to his grave.
[02:38] Kondo
No, the higher-ups won't be happy
if something happens to him.
[02:41] Toshi
Then we can give him
some menial tasks to do.
[02:43] Kondo
No, he'll start whining.
[02:45] Kondo
Right, Toshi!
[02:47] Kondo
You mentioned that you
had a bunch of busy work
[02:48] Kondo
that you wanted to
delegate to an assistant.
SIGN Check It Out!!
[02:58] Tetsu
Yo, I'm Tetsu.
[03:01] Tetsu
Uh, your name is Toshikata?
[03:04] Tetsu
No idea what an assistant does,
[03:07] Tetsu
but I guess I just have to lay
the smackdown on that Joi gang?
[03:10] Tetsu
Nobody beats me in a fight, fo' shizzle.
[03:15] Tetsu
It's not my policy to listen
to anyone weaker than me.
[03:20] Tetsu
I don't follow anyone else's rules.
[03:22] Tetsu
We're all born equal and free.
[03:25] Tetsu
Then you got your friends
and your enemies.
[03:28] Tetsu
So if you try to boss me around,
I'll go beast on your ass.
[03:32] Tetsu
Watch yourself, 'kay?
[03:33] Tetsu
I might lose control.
[03:35] Tetsu
Be fair, be square.
[03:37] Tetsu
We cool, Toshi?
[03:39] Tetsu
Yeah!
[03:44] Toshi
Hey, you little prick.
[03:45] Toshi
Don't chew when you're
introducing yourself.
[03:47] Toshi
I got enough of your type in
the 17th volume of Oishinbo!
[03:52] Toshi
And why is one pant leg rolled up?
[03:55] Toshi
I think one leg is
shorter than the other?
[03:59] Toshi
There, now they're the
same length! Oh, boy.
[04:02] Toshi
Listen up.
[04:03] Toshi
You're on our turf, so
you follow our rules.
[04:06] Toshi
For dumb boys like you,
one slip and it's seppuku time!
[04:11] Toshi
Doesn't matter who your dad is!
[04:13] Toshi
I'll send your head flying
all the way to your dad!
[04:17] Toshi
Yeah! We cool, Tetsu.
[04:20] Tetsu
We BFFs now, yeah!
[04:23] Toshi
Yeah.
[04:24] Tetsu
Well, let me know when
there's a fight going down.
[04:27] Tetsu
I'll bring all my buddies.
[04:29] Toshi
Appreciate it.
[04:38] Kondo
If we kick him out, he
won't have anywhere to go.
[04:41] Kondo
Just go easy on him.
[04:43] Kondo
It'll take time to work him in.
[04:46] Toshi
It'll take time? How much time?
[04:49] Toshi
How am I supposed to stop myself
from killing him before then?
[04:58] Yama
Vice chief, I heard
you got an assistant?
[05:01] Toshi
Y-Yeah...
[05:02] Yama
That's great.
[05:04] Yama
You've mentioned how
busy you always are.
[05:06] Yama
So where is he?
[05:08] Toshi
I have him running errands.
[05:11] A
Sweet curry?
[05:13] A
Spicy curry?
[05:14] Tetsu
Yeah!
[05:16] Yama
Uh, that corner of the
room is oozing New York.
[05:17] Tetsu
I'll do sweet curry. You do spicy curry.
[05:20] Tetsu
Good stuff.
[05:21] Yama
Excuse me.
[05:21] Yama
Could you give me my curry?
[05:24] Yama
Uh, what? What are you doing?
[05:27] A
Hey, hey, hey!!
[05:28] Yama
What?!
[05:29] Yama
I don't have any money on me!
[05:30] Yama
All I have is a plate of rice!
[05:32] A
Hey!
[05:37] Yama
Why are they acting like this
is some kind of drug deal?!
[05:40] Tetsu
Cherry boy!
[05:42] Yama
Don't call me a cherry boy!
[05:43] Yama
How can you even tell?!
SIGN Mayonnaise five days a week! -Hijikata
[05:48] Yama
Hey! What did you slip in my pocket?!
[05:50] Yama
No, thanks!
[05:51] Yama
I don't need your goods!
[05:52] Yama
Hey! Stop it!
[05:54] Yama
Wait! It's curry?!
[05:55] Yama
Effin'!
[05:58] Kondo
No, no, no, no!
[06:00] Kondo
You're not supposed to
swing with your wrist!
[06:03] Kondo
Use your entire body to swing!
[06:05] Kondo
The sword requires concentration!
[06:06] Kondo
Hold your breath!
[06:07] Kondo
Then swing for everything you're worth!
[06:09] Kondo
This isn't some wimpy sport!
[06:11] Kondo
Fancy tricks won't get you anywhere!
[06:18] A
Hey, hey! Pass!
[06:20] B
Gorilla, come on!
[06:24] Kondo
I'll repeat myself!
[06:26] Kondo
Fancy tricks...
[06:27] A
Hey, hey! Gorilla!
[06:28] B
Gorilla, pass!
[06:32] Kondo
Listen up!
[06:33] Kondo
I'll repeat myself one last time!
[06:35] Kondo
Your left hand is only
there for support!
[06:37] All
Nice shot!
[06:42] Toshi
Hey, Tetsu.
[06:44] Toshi
Can you turn it down a bit?
[06:46] Tetsu
What? I can't hear you.
[06:49] Toshi
Can you turn it down?!
[06:51] Tetsu
Okay, okay!
[06:53] Tetsu
So you're also a fan
of these crazy lyrics.
[06:56] Toshi
No, Toshi hates hip-hop.
[06:59] Tetsu
Shit! What are you doing, Toshi?
[07:02] Toshi
Hey, Tetsu.
[07:03] Toshi
You can't keep doing this forever.
[07:12] Toshi
This is your last chance.
[07:15] Toshi
I'm sure you've realized
that you'll never get
[07:18] ---
anywhere in society like this.
[07:20] Tetsu
Shit, I don't need another lecture.
[07:23] Tetsu
You can't boss me around.
[07:26] Tetsu
This is how I choose to live.
[07:29] Toshi
If you run into a wall and pretend
[07:31] ---
it doesn't exist, you'll
never make any progress.
[07:36] Toshi
The wall will never change.
[07:38] Toshi
So you're the one who has to change.
[07:41] Toshi
Right now, you're just rattling
off excuses at the wall.
[07:47] Toshi
You're nothing more than a kid.
[07:49] Toshi
Before, you might have
gotten away with that.
[07:52] Toshi
But in our line of work,
one wrong move and you die.
[07:58] Toshi
If you're going to drag
down the Shinsengumi,
[08:00] ---
I'll have to cut you down.
[08:03] Toshi
When a warrior fails his
duty, he commits seppuku.
[08:05] Toshi
We used to be as dumb as you,
[08:08] Toshi
but we were able to make it this far.
[08:13] Tetsu
Then cut me down.
[08:16] Tetsu
I can never be like my brother.
[08:18] Tetsu
I don't belong with the Sasaki family,
[08:20] ---
and I don't belong here.
[08:22] Tetsu
I was born a failure.
[08:25] Tetsu
So I'll live as I please
and die as I please!
[08:29] Tetsu
Nobody can stop me! Yeah!
[08:31] Toshi
Cut it out!
[08:33] Toshi
Stop! Stop the car!
[08:37] Tetsu
Yo, big guy!
[08:38] Tetsu
Whatcha looking at?!
[08:40] Tetsu
Got a problem?!
[08:42] Toshi
Hey, stop it!
[08:43] Tetsu
I got news for you!
[08:44] Tetsu
Imma cop! You'a flop!
[08:47] Tetsu
Into the slammer you drop!
[08:48] Tetsu
Yeah!
[08:49] Gin
Huh? What?
[08:51] Gin
What was that?
[08:56] Toshi
Bad idea, Tetsu!
[08:57] Toshi
You don't want to mess with him!
[08:58] Toshi
He ain't nothing like the flimsy
walls you've been running into to!
[09:00] Toshi
He's rotten to the core!
[09:01] Tetsu
Listen up, yo!
[09:02] Tetsu
Imma cop! You'a flop!
[09:05] Tetsu
Into the slammer you drop!
[09:06] Gin
No, I heard that part.
[09:08] Gin
What did you say after that?
[09:09] Tetsu
Yeah!
[09:10] Gin
Huh? Yes?
[09:12] Tetsu
I said yeah!
[09:13] Toshi
Uh, that was the least important part!
[09:15] Gin
I can't hear a thing over this racket.
[09:17] Tetsu
No!
[09:18] Tetsu
Fuck!
[09:19] Gin
Eh? Did you say fuck?!
[09:21] Gin
Did you just call me a fuck, bitch?!
[09:23] A
Fucking jump!
[09:24] B
Fucking crazy monkey!
[09:26] Gin
Don't call me a Fashion Leader!
[09:28] Gin
I know what you're trying
to pull, frickin' Dankan!
[09:31] Toshi
Nobody has any idea what
you're talking about!
[09:32] Toshi
Nobody said anything about fashion!
[09:34] Toshi
Hey! Stop messing around
in the middle of the street!
[09:37] Tetsu
Shut up!
[09:38] Tetsu
I'm gonna make fuckin' Curly here pay!
[09:41] Gin
Don't make fun of my curls!
[09:42] Gin
Though I can understand
why you're jealous.
[09:44] Tetsu
I challenge you to a dissin' rap battle.
[09:47] Tetsu
I'll embarrass you so you can never
show your face in this town again!
[09:52] Toshi
Hey, they're doing something over there!
[09:54] Toshi
Why are they dancing in
the middle of the street?
[09:56] Tetsu
Yo, yo. Tell me where your momma's from.
[10:00] Tetsu
Shimane? Akabane?
Shirogane? Kingdom come?
[10:03] Tetsu
Wait, have you seen my underwear, bum?
[10:10] Toshi
Why are you joining in?!
[10:12] Toshi
You're gonna punch him?!
[10:13] Toshi
Is that how this battle works?!
[10:14] Gin
Yo, yo. You tell me
where your momma's from?
[10:18] Gin
Chris? Fifi? Mori? Kawai?
[10:21] Toshi
Who are you trying to diss?!
[10:22] Toshi
Is this a not-so-subtle jab
at their horsey faces?!
[10:25] Gin
Wait, your underwear was
in the pool, Fakina!
[10:29] Toshi
You had his underwear?!
[10:30] Tetsu
Effin'!
[10:33] Man
What was that for?!
[10:36] Toshi
Why are you celebrating?!
[10:38] Toshi
Aren't you supposed to be friends?!
[10:40] Toshi
A total stranger has joined in!
[10:43] Tetsu
I lose, bro.
[10:44] Toshi
To who? You're all losers in my mind.
[10:47] Tetsu
Will you do another collaboration
with me one day?
[10:51] Gin
Huh? What? What was that?
[10:54] Tetsu
B–
[10:54] Tetsu
Bro!
[11:04] A
Suspect arrested at 3:40 PM
[11:07] A
for interfering with an investigation.
[11:08] Toshi
What?
[11:10] Toshi
You guys are...
[11:11] Isabu
Were we not needed?
[11:14] Isabu
Forgive me.
[11:16] Isabu
I didn't mean to trespass on
the Shinsengumi's territory,
[11:19] Isabu
but I couldn't allow that
villain to sully your name,
[11:24] Isabu
for I am a fan of the Shinsengumi.
[11:28] Toshi
That uniform...
[11:30] Toshi
You guys are...
[11:31] Isabu
I am honored, as a
fellow defender of Edo,
[11:35] ---
that the infamous vice
chief recognizes us.
[11:39] Isabu
I am the chief of the
Mimawarigumi, Isaburo Sasaki.
[11:44] Toshi
The Mimawarigumi...
[11:45] Isabu
Our uniform was based off of yours.
[11:50] Isabu
You can see that I am a rabid fan.
[11:55] Isabu
I've added my number to your
address book under Sabu-chan.
[11:58] Isabu
Feel free to message me when you want.
[12:00] Toshi
My phone!
[12:01] Isabu
I'll add you as Toshi-chan.
[12:04] Toshi
B-Bastard!
[12:05] Isabu
Oh, forgive me.
[12:07] Isabu
I don't have many friends, so
I lost myself for a moment.
[12:11] Isabu
Please don't get the wrong idea.
[12:13] Isabu
Like I've been saying, I am
a fan of the Shinsengumi.
[12:17] Isabu
Your organization is
a miracle in itself.
[12:21] Isabu
Penniless beggars with no
pedigree or training to speak of
[12:25] Isabu
banded together to keep
Edo safe. A touching tale.
[12:31] Isabu
I thought you might be able to
[12:35] ---
do something with the
Sasaki family's failure,
[12:38] Isabu
but it appears that he didn't
belong with you either.
[12:43] Isabu
I believe that the Shinsengumi require
[12:45] Isabu
any member who breaks their
code to commit seppuku.
[12:50] Isabu
You don't need to fear
the Sasaki family.
[12:52] Isabu
Feel free to cut him
down whenever you want.
[12:55] Isabu
We don't need this stain on
the Sasaki family's honor.
[13:00] Isabu
Worry not.
[13:02] Isabu
I've already deleted the mistress's son
[13:04] ---
from my address book.
[13:11] Toshi
Sorry.
[13:12] Toshi
I deleted my address too.
[13:15] Toshi
Along with the address of
my excellent pupil here.
[13:18] Tetsu
Toshi...
[13:20] Toshi
You see, I only have
room in my address book
[13:23] ---
for Thorny boys.
[13:38] A
Hey, have you heard?
[13:39] A
The vice chief had a run-in
with the Mimawarigumi.
[13:42] B
I've been hearing a lot
about them recently.
[13:45] A
Yeah, they're a new force,
[13:48] A
but they've already accomplished more
[13:50] A
than a lot of other
police organizations.
[13:52] A
And I've heard that their chief,
Isaburo Sasaki, is incredible.
[13:57] A
He's the heir to the Sasaki family.
[14:00] A
He can fight with two swords.
[14:01] A
And his skill with the pen is no less.
[14:02] A
A master of three weapons.
[14:04] A
They say the Bakufu
relies heavily on him.
[14:07] B
Speaking of which, the vice chief's
new assistant is a Sasaki.
[14:11] A
Yeah, they're half brothers.
[14:15] A
I heard that the vice
chief was defending him.
[14:18] B
Seriously?
[14:19] B
I figured the vice chief
would have gutted him
[14:21] ---
already for his behavior.
[14:23] A
Got that right.
[14:43] Tetsu
Excuse me, senpai!
[14:45] Tetsu
If it wouldn't trouble you too much,
[14:47] Tetsu
could you allow me to use
[14:48] ---
the vending machine behind you?!
[14:50] Both
Huh?
[14:51] Tetsu
My apologies.
[14:53] Tetsu
I've been entrusted by the vice
chief with an urgent mission.
[14:58] Tetsu
Uh, I think he wanted Mayoston Lights.
[15:00] Tetsu
Huh? Did he want menthols?
[15:02] Tetsu
No, wait. There's an urban myth
[15:04] ---
that menthols can cause impotence.
[15:06] Tetsu
I can't let the vice
chief become impotent!
[15:08] Tetsu
No, wait!
[15:09] Tetsu
Smoking is bad for the lungs,
[15:12] Tetsu
and the smoke is harmful
to other people,
[15:14] ---
especially infants, children, and the elderly.
[15:17] Tetsu
I can't let the vice chief become
an impotent cancer-ridden murderer!
[15:20] Tetsu
Damn! What do I do?!
[15:22] Tetsu
I know!
[15:23] Tetsu
If I buy him one of those instead,
[15:24] ---
he won't become impotent!
He'll become happy!
[15:27] Tetsu
But wait! This is bad for kids!
[15:29] Toshi
Just buy my damn cigarettes!
[15:32] Toshi
And I didn't ask for
Mayoston or menthols.
[15:34] Toshi
I wanted Mayoboros, got it?
[15:35] Tetsu
Yes, vice chief sir!
[15:37] B
Uh, Vice Chief?
[15:39] Toshi
Why are you standing around?
I'll make you commit seppuku.
[15:41] A
Yeah, we can do that later,
[15:44] A
but who is that?
[15:46] Toshi
Are you asleep?
[15:47] ---
I already introduced him.
[15:48] Toshi
He's my new assistant.
[15:50] Tetsu
Tetsunosuke Sasaki!
[15:53] B
Wait, I've never met this guy before!
[15:55] Tetsu
I apologize.
[15:57] Tetsu
I was embarrassed by my baby
face, so I wore sunglasses.
[16:01] A
Wait, sunglasses have nothing
to do with facial hair!
[16:05] Tetsu
After doing some thinking,
[16:07] Tetsu
I've said goodbye to my
old self and started anew!
[16:13] Tetsu
I've given up on being a bad boy.
[16:15] Tetsu
I'm moving forward from B to C.
[16:17] Tetsu
I have matured into a cherry boy!
[16:20] B
Uh, you're going backwards?!
[16:24] Tetsu
From now on, I will serve the vice chief
[16:28] ---
and help the Shinsengumi protect Edo!
[16:31] Tetsu
Hey, show your manners.
[16:33] A
Hey, his buddies went in the
other direction, from B to A!
[16:36] A
They're Akiba boys now!
[16:37] A
You're all regressing!
[16:40] Cat
Wait, Tetsu. Why do you keep bowing?
[16:44] Tetsu
What? I'm trying to be sincere here.
[16:46] Band
Are you hard?
[16:49] Tetsu
I'm not hard!
[16:50] Tetsu
Are you hard?!
[16:51] B
They sound so cherry!
Those were the days!
[16:54] Cat
Then stand up straight.
[16:56] Tetsu
You go first!
[16:58] Band
Stop trying to buy time.
[17:00] Toshi
Out of the way.
[17:04] Tetsu
Please wait, Vice Chief!
[17:07] Tetsu
I'm not hard!
[17:12] Kondo
I see. Toshi did it again.
[17:16] Kondo
Well, I could never tell if he was
doing his job or just picking fights.
[17:21] Kondo
He's a real troublemaker.
[17:23] Kondo
Hey! What are you doing?!
[17:24] Kondo
Run!
[17:25] Kondo
If you give up, the game's over!
[17:27] Tetsu
You don't understand.
[17:29] Tetsu
If you and Toshi make
an enemy of my brother,
[17:33] Tetsu
he'll crush me and all
of you in the process.
[17:38] Tetsu
You should have listened to him
[17:40] ---
and tossed my useless
ass out on the street.
[17:43] Tetsu
I'm sure you're all sick of me.
[17:47] Tetsu
You wish I would go away.
[17:50] Tetsu
I know how you feel.
[17:53] Tetsu
That's how I've always been treated,
[17:55] Tetsu
ever since my mother died and
[17:57] ---
I was brought to the Sasaki home.
[18:00] Tetsu
I've gotten used to it.
[18:03] Kondo
You ever heard the name Thorny?
[18:06] Kondo
It's for nasty kids that prick
you if you get too close.
[18:11] Kondo
That's what we called the
bad boys where I come from.
[18:17] Kondo
Including him.
[18:18] ---
Thorny Toshi.
[18:20] Kondo
He was bad enough to make
you guys look like babies.
[18:27] Kondo
He spent every day fighting
thugs from the local dojos.
[18:33] Kondo
A foolish boy who chose to live
inside the thorny thicket.
[18:42] Kondo
That Thorny boy must be
possessed by a devil.
[18:45] Kondo
That's what they all used to say.
[18:48] Kondo
But it wasn't like that.
[18:50] Kondo
He was no different from you.
[18:53] Kondo
That was the only place
he had to belong.
[18:55] Kondo
Toshi was also the son of a mistress.
[19:02] Kondo
His father was a rich
farmer where we came from.
[19:06] Kondo
Toshi was the secret son who
didn't pop until his father died.
[19:13] Kondo
But the oldest son,
Tamegoro, was a good man.
[19:17] Kondo
After Toshi lost his
mother and his home,
[19:19] Kondo
Tamegoro took him in
and looked after him.
[19:22] Kondo
Toshi was very fond of him.
[19:27] Kondo
But it didn't end well.
[19:30] Kondo
When he was eleven, there was
a large fire in the village.
[19:34] Kondo
Some brigands used this chance to break
[19:36] ---
into their home and attack Toshi,
[19:41] Kondo
but Tamegoro protected
him and lost his eyes.
[19:46] Kondo
The next thing he knew,
[19:47] ---
the brigands were strewn
across the floor.
[19:50] Kondo
His siblings stared at him with fear,
[19:53] Kondo
and the dried eyeballs on the
floor stared at him in silence.
[20:02] Kondo
That was when they started
calling him Thorny.
[20:06] Kondo
And he could no longer be
with his beloved brother.
[20:12] Kondo
He defended you because
he knows how you feel.
[20:18] Kondo
Having to endure the
hate of your family.
[20:20] Kondo
Being indebted to your brother.
[20:22] Kondo
Not having a place to belong.
[20:24] Kondo
Being an outsider.
[20:26] Kondo
But Tetsu, even after he went astray,
[20:29] Kondo
after he threw himself
into the thorny bramble,
[20:33] Kondo
he never stopped moving forward.
[20:36] Toshi
Stronger! Become stronger!
[20:39] Toshi
Stronger than everyone else!
[20:42] Kondo
He couldn't get over the fact that
[20:43] ---
he wasn't able to protect
the people he loved.
[20:46] Yama
Hey, hey, hey!
[20:47] Yama
Hey, pass!
[20:47] Kondo
We're all the same, Tetsu.
[20:49] Kondo
We're all outsiders and failures here.
[20:53] Yama
Hey, pass!
[20:53] Kondo
But we never gave up on
becoming respectable men
[20:57] Kondo
and eventually, we made it here.
[21:01] Kondo
That's how men find a place to belong.
[21:03] Yama
Stop hogging the ball!
[21:05] Kondo
You keep advancing,
[21:07] ---
cutting your way through
the thorny brambles,
[21:10] Kondo
leaving a trail.
[21:11] Yama
I'm here.
[21:12] Kondo
Eventually, you're joined
by others and the
[21:15] ---
trail becomes a wide path.
[21:19] Kondo
I can't tell you what to do now
that your family doesn't want you.
[21:23] Kondo
You have to choose your own path.
[21:27] Kondo
But if you want a place to belong,
[21:29] ---
if you want respect,
[21:31] Kondo
you can never stop moving.
[21:40] Kondo
Never stop walking through the thorns.
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN The situation
SIGN suddenly gets worse!
SIGN Thorny and Rosy
SIGN Tetsunosuke has had a change of heart, but a gang of bad boys is looking for trouble...
SIGN Meanwhile, Gintoki has been taken by the Mimawarigumi, where Isaburo asks him to go on a mission.