E24 - Cute Faces Are Always Hiding Something Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    [You've enjoyed "Tuesday E-Jump." But we've come to the final episode.] SIGN    [So today, we'll show you a great time until the very end.] [01:40] Otose     Don't give me that! [01:41] Otose     Do you have any idea what a nuisance your barbarism has become?! [01:45] Saigo     Shut up, you old hag! [01:47] ---     Where do you get off talking to me like this [01:49] ---     just because I was late with the neighborhood notice?! [01:52] Otose     Kabukicho is a place where the pure and the dirty are mixed together. [01:55] Otose     That's all the more reason why you have to live according to the rules! [01:59] Saigo     That's what you say, granny, [02:01] Saigo     but just last week you put out JUMP comics on burnable trash day! [02:03] Otose     Not me! That was the guy on the second floor! [02:06] Gintoki     You're making too much noise... [02:07] Saigo     Don't play dumb! [02:08] Saigo     Don't get carried away because they call you the Empress of Kabukicho! [02:11] ---     Hey, keep it quiet, you two freaks. [02:14] Gintoki     Do you have any idea what time it is? [02:16] ---     You're raising my blood pressure. [02:19] Otose     Shut up, loser!! [02:21] Saigo     Decent human beings have already started their day at this hour! [02:24] Gintoki     You guys think you're "human beings"?     Maybe you were a long time ago. [02:34] Saigo     You're going to pay for even thinking you can defy me. [02:37] ---     I'm taking him with me. [02:39] Otose     Go right ahead. [02:42] Kagura     Shinpachi. Who is that monster? [02:46] Shinpachi     Like Otose-san, she's one of the Four Royals of Kabukicho... [02:51] Shinpachi     The Demoness Mademoiselle Saigo. SIGN    ["Cute Faces Are Always Hiding Something"] [03:01] Omittedsaigo     Girls, we have someone new for today. [03:03] Saigo     Meet Pako-chan. [03:05] Agomi     Oh my, she's cute. [03:08] Agomi     Why's she called Pako? [03:10] Saigo     Because she's got naturally wavy hair. [03:11] Wakame     Give me a break, Mama. She's going to steal all of my customers. [03:15] Gintoki     I'm sorry, I have a stomach ache so I'll be leaving early. [03:18] Saigo     You can't escape that easily. [03:20] ---     I'll teach you what it means to survive in Kabukicho. [03:25] Gintoki     I already know. I live here. [03:28] Saigo     I'll teach you the noble way of those you call "freaks." [03:34] Gintoki     Really, give me a break. I'm the main character, you know. [03:41] Saigo     Pound into our new girl how tough it is in this business. [03:49] Gintoki     What're you doing, Zura? [03:52] Katsura     It's not Zura. I'm Zurako. [03:56] Katsura     Pops, isn't our tempura soba ready yet? [03:59] Pops     It'll be just a little longer. [04:01] Katsura     A little? Do you know how many instant cup noodles I could've made by now? [04:07] Katsura     Calm down, Elizabeth. [04:08] Katsura     Recently the crackdown on lawless ronin has gotten stricter. [04:12] ---     Don't do anything that would attract attention to us. [04:15] Pops     Here you go! [04:16] Katsura     Damn you! Did you forget that we ordered before that guy?! [04:21] Pops     Please forgive me, mister samurai. This is a special customer... [04:25] Katsura     It's your duty to treat... [04:27] Katsura     each customer equally! [04:30] ---     Prepare to meet your maker! [04:32] Saigo     Oh come now, mister. Don't get upset over something like this. [04:36] ---     Here, you can have mine. [04:38] Katsura     Shut up, freak! [04:44] Saigo     Hey. Who're you calling a freak? [04:47] Katsura     And that's how I ended up here. [04:49] Katsura     Since then, I've been looking for a chance to escape, but... [04:53] ---     Hey, you! Sway your hips more. [04:55] Gintoki     Zura, you've been here too long. [04:58] ---     You might not be able to return to the streets. [05:01] Katsura     Don't be ridiculous. I have a duty to save my country! [05:05] Katsura     I don't have time to waste fooling around here. [05:08] Gintoki     I don't want my country saved by a guy who dances to the beat of a place like this. [05:13] Agomi     Hey, you two. [05:14] ---     Zurako, Pako, you're rhythm is off. [05:17] ---     Keep dancing like that, and you'll make your customers sick! [05:20] Gintoki     What're you talking about? This languid look is my selling point, Agomi. [05:24] Agomi     Who're you calling Agomi? [05:26] Katsura     Pako, I told you when I introduced you. This is Agoyo. [05:30] Agomi     No, I'm not! It's Azumi. You idiots! [05:33] Wakame     Come on! Pako, Zurako! If you can't dance, then help out in the hall! [05:38] Vaneko     Good day, I'm Vaneko. [05:40] Wakame     I'm Wakame. [05:42] Gintoki     Pako. [05:43] Katsura     Zurako. [05:45] Customer A     Hey, hey, what's with those faces? [05:48] Customer A     Does this place intend to make me drunk with those faces? [05:50] Vaneko     That's harsh! [05:51] Wakame     I'm so shocked... [05:52] Customer A     Hey, you with the naturally wavy hair. [05:54] ---     I came here to laugh at weirdoes like you! [05:58] ---     Do something funny, you freaks! [06:01] Gintoki     What'd you say, bar code head? [06:03] ---     Want me to pull out every last hair of hope on your head? [06:07] Katsura     Stop it, Pako. [06:08] Saigo     Sir, I told you touching or insulting the hostesses was forbidden. [06:14] ---     Don't try to make fools out of us!! [06:25] Agomi     "More noble than a woman," [06:27] Agomi     "Stronger than a man..." [06:29] Agomi     That's Mama's favorite phrase. [06:30] ---     People like us need that kind of pride to survive in this world. [06:36] ---     We have to be stronger than anyone or anything. [06:39] Gintoki     So are you strong, Agomi? [06:41] ---     Can that chin of yours break anything? [06:43] Katsura     Why're you limiting her strength to her chin? [06:46] Katsura     But Mademoiselle Saigo's strength is extraordinary. [06:50] ---     He's no ordinary man. [06:52] Agomi     Yes, I hear he used to be amazing back in the day. [06:55] ---     What was he called...? [06:58] Agomi     "White Loincloth Saigo"... or something like that. [07:01] ---     I don't know what he did, but he was some kind of hero who went into battle wearing a white loincloth. [07:06] Gintoki     With only that information, he just sounds like a pervert. [07:10] Katsura     White Loincloth Saigo... I've heard that name somewhere before... [07:14] Kid A     Come on and fight! [07:16] Kid A     Your dad's a guy, but he acts like a mom! [07:19] Kid B     Maybe you're a girly boy, too! [07:22] Kid B     That's why he's such a weakling! [07:27] Kid B     Infectious homo liquid! [07:30] Kid A     Run! [07:33] Agomi     Are you all right, kid? [07:35] Agomi     Te-Teru-kun! [07:38] Saigo     Teruhiko! [07:40] Saigo     What happened?! [07:41] ---     You're hurt! [07:42] ---     The hospital! We have to get you to a hospital right away! [07:44] ---     Call Dr. Red Beard! Dr. Red Beard! [07:47] Gintoki     There are lots of Blue Beards around here. [07:49] Saigo     I'm not talking to you jackasses! Beat it! [07:51] Teruhiko     They're just scratches, so I'm okay, Dad... [07:54] Saigo     I'm not Dad! Call me Mom!! [07:59] Saigo     Teruhiko, you've been coming home a lot lately all bruised up. [08:03] Saigo     What've you been doing? Are you hiding something? [08:06] Teruhiko     D-Don't worry, Mom. I've just been playing samurai... [08:10] Teruhiko     with my friends on the way home. [08:13] Teruhiko     Well, I'm going out to play. [08:16] Saigo     Just a minute! [08:17] Saigo     Teruhiko! [08:30] Katsura     Kid. [08:35] Katsura     You forgot something. SIGN    [To all parents: Notice to Parent for Third Annual Visiting Day] [08:43] Katsura     Don't worry. I haven't shown it to your father. [08:47] ---     Should I have? [08:49] Teruhiko     No... Thanks, auntie. [08:52] Katsura     It's not "auntie." It's Katsura. [08:56] Katsura     Are you sure it's okay? [08:58] Katsura     If your father doesn't come? [09:00] Teruhiko     I want him to come, but... [09:03] Katsura     You don't want to be teased again? [09:06] Teruhiko     I don't care about that. I'm used to it. [09:10] ---     But... I don't want to see Dad get laughed at or...hurt. [09:15] Teruhiko     I love my Dad. [09:17] ---     He's fun and can sometimes be a little scary, but... [09:21] Teruhiko     Sometimes, I wish Dad was just a normal dad. SIGN    [Closed Till Tonight] [09:29] Wakame     Mama, you've had too much to drink! [09:31] Vaneko     What's eating you, all of a sudden? [09:33] Gintoki     Leave her alone. [09:35] Saigo     A man drinks until he's wasted, then he can finally sleep. [09:38] Agomi     Don't you mean "woman"?! [09:40] ---     A woman cries until she cries herself to sleep! [09:43] Wakame     Really, Mama, you should stop. Mama and Pako both. [09:49] Saigo     I really feel terrible for that boy. [09:54] Saigo     With a father like this, you know... [09:57] ---     It would be strange if they didn't pick on him. [09:59] Gintoki     So...you do understand? [10:02] Gintoki     That makes this easier... [10:07] Gintoki     Well, now you look like one of those anti-social types. [10:11] ---     You need to look more like a hopeless father. [10:13] ---     Shall I draw a turd on your forehead? [10:16] Saigo     What're doing, you... [10:19] Saigo     Teruhiko's mother died before he was old enough to remember. [10:22] ---     From then on, I had to be his mother. [10:26] ---     I went too far, and ended up like this. [10:29] Saigo     For that boy's sake, I stuck to my principles. [10:33] ---     I've never once regretted my decision, and I don't intend to start now. [10:39] Saigo     Sure, there will be those who laugh at my ugly mug, but my spirit... [10:45] Saigo     is more beautiful than any man's or woman's. [10:53] Kid A     Yo, so you came. [10:55] Kid B     Weak little girly. [10:57] Teruhiko     Stop saying that! I'm not weak! [11:00] Teruhiko     And I'll prove it. [11:03] Katsura     Gintoki, I'm going back, after all. [11:06] Gintoki     Huh? You sure you're awake? [11:09] Katsura     I'm worried about that father and son. [11:12] Gintoki     If you stay here any longer, you'll really turn into one of them. [11:18] Gintoki     That freak drunk himself to sleep, so this is our only chance. [11:22] Katsura     You can escape anytime, but now is not the time. [11:26] Gintoki     Good luck, Zurako. [11:28] ---     I'll be praying that you don't spend half of your life away here. [11:31] Katsura     Wait, Pako. [11:32] Gintoki     Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! [11:33] ---     You're going to rip me in two! Into two new pieces! [11:36] Gintoki     What is it with you?! Just do what you want by yourself! [11:40] Katsura     What're you saying, Pako? [11:41] ---     Haven't we always fought together as the top tag-team? [11:45] Gintoki     Hell if I know! [11:46] Katsura     The food was bad, but we ate at Saigo-dono's table. [11:50] ---     Isn't it the proper samurai way to return kindness? [11:53] Gintoki     You're saying samurai should get involved in a kid's fight? [11:56] Kid A     He's in danger!, What are we gonna do, Yo-chan? [11:58] Kid B     I don't care! It was his idea! [12:09] Kid B     Ow-ow-ow. [12:10] Kid B     What're you doing? Lemme go! [12:12] Kid A     You guys are gross! [12:14] Gintoki     Zurako, he says you're gross. [12:16] Katsura     What're you talking about? He meant you, Pako. [12:19] Gintoki     He meant you Mr. bleached white face. Play more outdoors. [12:23] Katsura     What about you? Your face just shouts, "I'm poor!" [12:25] Katsura     "Give me back the lunch money you stole." [12:27] Kid A     Just so you know, it's not our fault. [12:30] Kid B     We tried to stop him, but he did it on his own... [12:33] Gintoki     I don't get it. Tell us the details. The details, or I'll shave your head. [12:38] Kid B     It was a test of courage. [12:40] Kid A     There's a test of courage that's popular among us kids. [12:43] ---     When we teased him about it, he took it seriously and... [12:46] Gintoki     An abandoned house? [12:47] Kid A     It's not an abandoned house. It's in there. [12:51] Kid B     The other day, we heard a creepy growl... Like it was from a beast. [12:55] Kid A     There's definitely something in there. [13:00] Katsura     A haunted house, eh? [13:03] Gintoki     Hey, Zura, you're pretty good. [13:06] Gintoki     How'd you make through such a narrow opening? [13:07] ---     Huh? This isn't happening. You can't be serious? No way! [13:11] Katsura     What're you doing...? [13:13] Gintoki     I can't move forwards or backwards. [13:16] Katsura     You dumb blonde, that's why they named you Pako. [13:19] Gintoki     What was that, you bastard? I'll "Pa" you! [13:22] Katsura     Come on, relax. [13:22] Gintoki     Ow-ow-ow. [13:25] Gintoki     It's no use. Leave me here. I'll live here from now on! [13:39] Kid A     It's in here... Something mysterious... [13:42] Gintoki     Teruhiko-kun? [13:44] ---     You're Teruhiko-kun, aren't you? [13:45] ---     Please say you're Teruhiko-kun! [13:48] Gintoki     You bastard! You'd just leave me here?! [13:51] Katsura     You said you wanted to live there. [13:53] ---     Don't worry. I'll be right back. [13:55] ---     I'll buy you a castella cake. Castella! [13:58] Gintoki     What would I use a castella cake for?! [14:00] Gintoki     Zurako! [14:01] ---     Haven't we always fought together as the top tag-team, up until now? [14:04] Katsura     Whatever! [14:04] Gintoki     I know! That's it! [14:06] Gintoki     I'll give you my leather jacket with "Samurai" printed on the back. [14:08] Gintoki     It's what you always wanted! [14:09] Katsura     Who'd wear a tacky jacket like that?! [14:13] Prince Hata     What're you humans doing? [14:19] Prince Hata     Oh I see... [14:20] Prince Hata     So a child came in here and hasn't returned since, you say. [14:23] ---     And you came here to find him? [14:26] ---     Recently we've had a lot of kids coming into the yard and causing mischief. [14:31] ---     See that tree by the annex? [14:33] Prince Hata     Kids claim that if they can fetch fruit from that tree, it proves they are a real samurai. [14:38] ---     It's just like children think up such silly things. [14:40] Katsura     So does this yard belong to you, Squirt? [14:43] Jiiya     Who the hell are you calling "squirt"? [14:46] Jiiya     Do you have any idea who this squirt is? [14:50] Prince Hata     Stop it, Jii. [14:51] ---     Father said that although we come from different planets, [14:54] ---     we should always be kind to beautiful women. Have you forgotten that? [14:56] Jiiya     Prince, you mustn't be fooled. [14:59] ---     After all your father said, he married a homely woman in the end. [15:03] Prince Hata     Hey! That's my mother you're talking about! My mother! [15:07] Prince Hata     Huh? You... [15:10] Prince Hata     You... Have we met before? [15:13] Gintoki     Heavens no! How sick. Is that the Jomon pickup line? [15:17] ---     You'll never pick up any Edo women that way, baldy. [15:19] ---     Why don't you just croak. [15:20] Prince Hata     I see... I thought we met somewhere before, but... [15:24] ---     I can't ignore a damsel in distress. [15:27] ---     How about we assist them in their search? Eh, Jii? [15:33] Jiiya     Um, I'll pass. I have a gate-ball match at 4 o'clock. [15:37] Prince Hata     Old fart. I'll send you through the gate of Hell. [15:40] Katsura     Prince, there's something I'd like to ask you. [15:43] ---     There's a rumor going around the children that a monster lives here. [15:47] ---     Any idea what that might be? [15:51] Gintoki     What was that? That growl?! [15:53] Katsura     Something's coming. This time... Something's coming! [15:59] Prince Hata     Pochi, show me some love. [16:01] ---     Is this your monster? [16:04] ---     Pochi is not a monster. [16:06] Prince Hata     You're in the yard I prepared for my pet, Pochi. [16:10] ---     I bought this abandoned samurai mansion, and turned it into Pochi's playground. [16:14] Prince Hata     You don't have to worry. Pochi wouldn't hurt a child. Right, Pochi? [16:20] Katsura     Excuse me... May I pet him, too? [16:24] Gintoki     Hey, don't. [16:26] Katsura     Good boy, good boy... [16:28] ---     What're you afraid of? [16:30] ---     He certainly has a big body, but such a lovable animal wouldn't hurt anyone. [16:35] ---     It's an angel. An angel. [16:41] Gintoki     Hey! It's an angel and a devil rolled into one! [16:45] Katsura     An angel and devil dancing cheek to cheek!! [16:48] Prince Hata     Pochi is an unusual species I found on a remote planet. [16:51] ---     The bottom part is fake, right? [16:53] ---     Animals lured in by cute faces get eaten by the main part. What a fabulous organism! [16:59] Gintoki     And we're in exactly that situation, aren't we? [17:02] Prince Hata     It's fine. Pochi only eats salami. Right, precious? [17:11] Prince Hata     He's, you know... Just playing. Seriously. [17:15] Gintoki     No way! He just ate your head nub thingy! [17:19] Prince Hata     I'm fine, I tell you. This will grow back. [17:22] Gintoki     Look out! This isn't funny! [17:25] Kid A     Yo-chan, this doesn't sound good. It's going to get those people, too. [17:27] Kid A     Yeah... [17:28] Kid A     Yo-chan! Where're you going? Yo-chan! [17:32] Teruhiko     ...Aunties! Hang in there, Aunties! [17:39] Gintoki     Hey... You okay, kid? [17:41] Katsura     You really had us worried. Are you hurt? [17:44] Teruhiko     I could as you the same question! [17:47] Gintoki     Zura, you really are in sorry shape. Where'd you put your body? [17:51] Katsura     You're just an exposed head yourself. Namu Amida Butsu. [17:54] Gintoki     Shinpachi! Kagura! Sadaharu! Farewell! [17:58] Teruhiko     Calm down. The two of you have just been buried, that's all. [18:01] Katsura     I see. [18:02] Katsura     There's nothing to worry about anymore. We've come to save you. [18:04] ---     Or should I say, please save us. [18:05] Teruhiko     Why did you come here, aunties? [18:07] Gintoki     Never mind that. We're glad you're safe. [18:10] Teruhiko     Yeah. I was hiding up in a tree the whole time. [18:14] Teruhiko     I didn't dare come down. Then I saw you being carried off by that thing. [18:19] Prince Hata     That Pochi, he learned a new trick. How sweet. [18:22] Jiiya     Prince, Pochi does this when he wants to store his food. [18:28] Jiiya     What're you going to do about this, you idiot prince?! [18:30] ---     My life and my gate-ball match are over! [18:33] Prince Hata     Shut up, you old fart! [18:34] ---     If we get out of this, I'm definitely firing you! [18:37] Jiiya     Go right ahead. [18:38] Jiiya     We're all going to die here anyway. [18:42] Teruhiko     I'm sorry, everybody. It's my fault this happened... [18:47] Teruhiko     What have I done? [18:49] ---     I've caused so much trouble for everyone... [18:51] ---     I wanted to somehow prove that I wasn't weak. [18:55] Teruhiko     But... [18:56] ---     I was so angry that everyone made fun of Dad. [18:58] ---     Dad is the way he is, but I know that he has a spirit that's stronger and purer than anyone. [19:05] Teruhiko     But no one sees that. They don't even try. [19:10] Teruhiko     It makes me so angry... [19:11] Teruhiko     I'm... so frustrated. [19:14] Gintoki     You... [19:19] Prince Hata     He's coming... [19:21] Prince Hata     Pochi, if you have to eat, then eat Jii! [19:23] ---     I'm all fat and bad for your health! [19:26] Jiiya     What're you saying?! [19:27] ---     If you eat me, my bones will stick in your throat for sure! Eat the prince! [19:33] Gintoki     Hey! Hey! He's coming this way! [19:34] Katsura     That's enough! Forget about us and just run away! [19:38] Gintoki     You'll be killed, too! Hey! Are you listening?! [19:40] Teruhiko     Shut up! I'm strong! I won't run away! [19:43] Katsura     This is no time to say such things! Hurry! [19:45] Katsura     Runnnn!! [19:56] Gintoki     You are strong... [20:00] Gintoki/Katsura     We already knew that! [20:02] Gintoki     You and your dad are both men of strong spirit. [20:08] Gintoki     You think nobody can see that? Don't be stupid. [20:11] Gintoki     Those who can see that, see it. [20:14] Katsura     At the very least, there are two right here who can see it. Remember that. [20:18] Teruhiko     Auntie... [20:19] Saigo     As if you would know. [20:36] Teruhiko     M-Mom! [20:58] Katsura     I remember now... [21:00] Katsura     Back during the Amanto invasion, [21:02] Katsura     there was a man who wore nothing but a white loincloth when he stormed the enemy battleship. [21:04] Katsura     He fought until that white loincloth was stained crimson with the blood of the enemy. [21:07] Katsura     His exploits are legend. [21:09] ---     The Demon, Tokumori Saigo! [21:29] Katsura     He's our great Senpai. [21:34] Teruhiko     M-Mom... I'm sorry. I... [21:39] Saigo     Idiot! Right now, call me Dad. [21:44] Saigo     Hey. [21:45] Saigo     You two are fired. [21:47] ---     You still can't dance, no matter how much you practice. [21:50] ---     If you ever call us freaks again, I won't go easy on you, you hear?! [21:55] Saigo     And one other thing... [21:57] Saigo     If you are ever feeling frisky, come visit the club for a good time. [22:01] Saigo     We'll treat you real special. [22:09] Gintoki     He scares me. [22:10] Katsura     Looks like we didn't need to worry. [22:13] Katsura     They're no different than samurai. They have a path of their own to follow. [22:20] Teruhiko     My Father-Mother. [22:22] Teruhiko     My mother is my mother, but she's also my father. [22:26] Teruhiko     Actually, she's my father, but she's my mother. [22:31] Teruhiko     Mother has a lot of ladies around her, [22:34] Teruhiko     who call themselves butterflies, but they're really more like moths. [22:39] Teruhiko     But they're all good people. [22:42] ---     I think their spirits are purer than anyone else's. [22:48] Teruhiko     Mom, everyone. I hope you remain wonderful moths forever. [22:53] Teruhiko     I love you all. The end. [23:01] Prince Hata     I really should stop coming to Earth. SIGN    ["Actually, you did want this leather jacket, didn't you?"] SIGN    ["Hmph! I just accepted it for your sake."] SIGN     [24:40] Shinpachi     Gin-san, Gin-san! [24:42] ---     Gin Tama's been renewed for a third season! [24:44] Gintoki     Really? [24:45] Shinpachi     We have to celebrate! [24:47] Gintoki     Shall we splurge on sukiyaki, then? [24:51] Gintoki     The next episode: "A Shared Soup Pot is a Microcosm of Life."