# E20 - Watch Out for Conveyer Belts!
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GY2PW130Y/watch-out-for-conveyer-belts)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** [The Shinsengumi are sharing ghost stories to cool off at night. Inayama-san's story is "Woman in a Red Kimono."]
***SIGN*** [A cursed voice is heard at midnight. What did Hijikata see?!]
**[01:42] Inayama**
It was a very hot night with many mosquitoes, like tonight...
**[01:47] ---**
I was setting off fireworks with my friends and noticed it had gotten dark.
**[01:52] Inayama**
So, I thought my mom would get upset and kick me if I didn't get home right away.
**[01:56] Inayama**
I decided to go home.
**[01:58] Inayama**
We cleaned up the exploded fireworks and glanced at the Temple School.
**[02:04] Inayama**
Then, although it was midnight,
**[02:08] Inayama**
a woman in a red kimono was looking right at me from the window of the Temple School.
**[02:12] Inayama**
I was shocked, but I wanted to find out more.
**[02:18] Inayama**
So I gingerly asked her what she was doing up this late.
**[02:21] Inayama**
And she...
**[02:23] Inayama**
...smiled at me and said...
**[02:26] Hijikata**
We've run out of mayonnaise!!
**[02:32] Samurai A**
Vice-chief!! What the heck-?! You ruined the ending!!
**[02:36] Hijikata**
I don't care about that! The mayonnaise ran out! I told you to buy more.
**[02:40] Hijikata**
Yakisoba's no good without it!!
**[02:43] Samurai B**
You've had enough, already!
**[02:45] ---**
That doesn't look like Yakisoba anymore! It's "Yaki-mayonnaise" now!
**[02:49] Samurai A**
Oh, Chief!
**[02:52] Samurai B**
Chief!!
**[02:54] Samurai B**
My goodness! Chief!
**[02:55] Samurai B**
The mayonnaise made him faint!
**[02:57] ---**
It's terrible!
**[03:02] Hijikata**
That's so stupid! They're all obsessed with ghost stories.
**[03:10] Hijikata**
There's no way that ghosts exist.
**[03:17] Hijikata**
Man, there're so many mosquitoes these days.
**[03:20] Okita**
Die...
**[03:22] Okita**
Die...Die...Hijikata...
**[03:26] Okita**
Please, die...
**[03:27] Hijikata**
*It can't be...*
**[03:34] Hijikata**
What are you doing here at this time of night?
**[03:38] Okita**
Jo...Jogging.
**[03:39] Hijikata**
You liar!
**[03:41] Hijikata**
If you ran around in that kind of outfit, your head would catch fire!
**[03:43] Hijikata**
Were you holding a ritual? You were holding a ritual for killing me, weren't you?!
**[03:48] Okita**
You're really self-consciousness.
**[03:50] Okita**
If you think like that, you'll suffer a nervous breakdown.
**[03:53] Hijikata**
What?!
**[03:58] Okita**
What's the matter with you, Hijikata-san?
**[04:00] Hijikata**
Sogo, did you just see something over there?
**[04:03] Okita**
Nothing really...
**[04:06] Hijikata**
I thought I just saw...
***SIGN*** ["Watch Out for Conveyor Belts!"]
**[04:19] Hijikata**
That's terrible...
**[04:21] Hijikata**
Hey, how many people so far?
**[04:24] Hijikata**
Eighteen troops.
**[04:27] Okita**
So over half the squad has been struck down.
**[04:31] Okita**
I've got to admit... This is getting kind of eerie.
**[04:34] Hijikata**
No kidding. We, the Shinsengumi, were brought to our knees by a ghost,
**[04:39] Hijikata**
Everyone flat on their backs. It's mortifying! I can't even tell anyone about it.
**[04:43] Hijikata**
The shame!
**[04:44] Kondo**
Toshi...
**[04:46] Kondo**
I wasn't beaten by a ghost.
I was beaten by mayonnaise!
**[04:49] Hijikata**
That's even worse.
**[04:52] Okita**
Everybody is making delirious sounds about the woman in the red kimono.
**[04:56] Okita**
Is that the same ghost Inayama-san was talking about the other night?
**[04:59] Hijikata**
Idiot! There's no such thing as ghosts.
**[05:02] Kondo**
Don't underestimate ghosts, or you'll be in real trouble, Toshi.
**[05:06] Kondo**
This building is cursed. It must be possessed by a horrible spirit.
**[05:12] Hijikata**
What are you talking about?!
**[05:15] Hijikata**
No, never.
**[05:16] Yamazaki**
Chief, here they are.
**[05:18] Kondo**
Oh, thanks, Yamazaki!
**[05:22] Yamazaki**
I found these exorcists downtown.
**[05:26] Gintoki**
Hello.
**[05:27] Hijikata**
Who are these guys? Is the circus in town?
**[05:31] Kondo**
No, they're here for a exorcising.
**[05:34] Hijikata**
Hey, hey! Are you kidding?
**[05:36] Hijikata**
These guys look so shady.
**[05:38] Kagura**
Oh? Your back...
**[05:41] Hijikata**
What...? There's something on my back?
**[05:46] Gintoki**
He's done for with that on him.
**[05:48] Hijikata**
What are they doing? Can I stab these jokers? Huh, can I?
**[05:52] Kondo**
Sensei, can you help us? I'm too scared to go to the bathroom by myself.
**[05:59] Kagura**
We'll take care of it, gorilla.
**[06:01] Kondo**
Huh? Did you just say "gorilla"? You just said gorilla, right?
**[06:06] Gintoki**
We looked around the house.
**[06:09] Gintoki**
And I feel a fairly powerful spirit presence, gorilla.
**[06:12] Kondo**
Ah, you definitely said "gorilla," didn't you?
**[06:15] Kagura**
For starters, why don't we do an exorcism?
**[06:18] Kagura**
This is going to cost you a pretty penny, gorilla.
**[06:21] Hijikata**
Hey, hey, they're getting in the habit of saying "gorilla."
**[06:23] Okita**
By the way, what kind of spirit is here, gorilla?
**[06:27] Kondo**
It's contagious!
**[06:28] Kagura**
Um... A factory foreman.
**[06:32] Gintoki**
Well, it's the spirit of a factory foreman who died after getting stuck in a conveyer belt.
**[06:37] Kondo**
But everyone said they saw a woman's spirit.
**[06:41] Shinpachi**
Oh right!
**[06:42] Shinpachi**
It's the spirit of a woman who looked like the factory foreman who killed herself
**[06:46] Shinpachi**
by getting stuck in a conveyer belt.
**[06:48] Hijikata**
That explanation's too long! And what does a factory foreman have to do with it?!
**[06:50] Gintoki**
Anyway, are you Yamazaki?
**[06:55] Gintoki**
We must borrow your body. To draw in the spirit, and then exorcise it, okay?
**[06:58] Yamazaki**
Eh... W-Wait a minute.
**[07:01] Yamazaki**
Wait... "Exorcise"... How are you gonna do that?
**[07:04] Gintoki**
We'll just hit you really hard.
**[07:05] Yamazaki**
Hey, anybody can do that!
**[07:10] Gintoki**
Yes! It went into him. A spirit went into him, here!
**[07:14] Hijikata**
Looked to me like you delivered a body blow instead of putting a spirit in.
**[07:18] Kagura**
No, I went into him.
**[07:20] ---**
Well, this factory will be destroyed today, and it's all my fault...
**[07:25] Kondo**
Hey! It's the factory foreman!
**[07:28] Kagura**
Oh? What was the story again?
**[07:30] Gintoki**
Idiot! It's about a woman who died after getting stuck in a conveyer belt.
**[07:35] Shinpachi**
There's no way a woman would get stuck in a conveyer belt.
**[07:38] Shinpachi**
A conveyer belt... Oh? What type?
**[07:41] Gintoki**
Never mind! Just act like a normal woman!
**[07:44] Kagura**
No way!
**[07:45] Kagura**
Playing a normal woman may look easy, but it's the most difficult acting there is!
**[07:48] Gintoki**
Nobody expects that level of realism!
**[07:51] Kagura**
Shut up, mummy man! Your outfit is what's unrealistic!
**[07:55] Gintoki**
Say that again?! I thought I look mysterious like this.
**[07:59] Shinpachi**
Oh, no! Cut it out, you guys!
**[08:02] ---**
We're on duty! Hey, are you listening to me?
**[08:05] Shinpachi**
Both of you!
**[08:06] Gintoki**
Ah.
**[08:14] Shipachi**
We didn't mean any harm. We didn't have a job.
**[08:18] Shipachi**
We just thought exorcising ghosts might be a good job
**[08:20] Shipachi**
to make money because it's summer and it's blazing hot in town.
**[08:23] Shipachi**
Right, Gin-san?
**[08:25] Gintoki**
Right. I've been able to see spirits for a long time,
**[08:29] Gintoki**
so I wanted to use my special talent to help people.
**[08:31] Ginoki**
Oh, I see an angry old granny behind you.
**[08:35] Okita**
Really? She must be the granny who owned the candy store.
**[08:39] Okita**
I made fake winning tickets to get ice cream lots of times.
**[08:41] Okita**
I cheated her, so she must still be mad at me. What should I do?
**[08:44] Gintoki**
Don't worry. She said if you release all of us and give us water, she'll forgive you.
**[08:50] Okita**
All right. Then drink this up through your nose.
**[08:56] Gintoki**
Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!
What's this nostalgic feeling?!
**[09:01] Gintoki**
Like when I was a kid and almost drowned in the swimming pool!
**[09:05] Kagura**
Gin-chan, I feel like my head is going to explode... Help me!
**[09:10] Gintoki**
Hey! An innocent girl says her head is going to explode!
**[09:14] Gintoki**
Are you guys sure you want the show to finish like this?!
**[09:18] Okita**
Next week, We'll start "Shinsengumi: Wind of Blood Chronicles"! Don't miss it!
**[09:24] Shinpachi**
They're going to kill us.
**[09:26] Gintoki**
Somebody, help me!
**[09:29] Kondo**
Hey, Toshi, cut them down. Otherwise, Sogo will discover the joys of sadism.
**[09:35] Hijikata**
What are you talking about? He's a prince from a sadistic planet. It's too late.
**[09:43] Kagura**
I don't feel so good.
**[09:47] Hijikata**
Normally we'd beat you and cut you in strips...
**[09:50] Hijikata**
But we're so busy we have no time for that these days. So just leave.
**[09:57] Gintoki**
Ah, they're scared of ghosts.
**[10:01] Kagura**
Poor babies. Want mommy to stand and guard while you go potty?
**[10:05] Kondo**
Are you ridiculing a samurai?!
**[10:07] Kondo**
Please come with me to the bathroom.
**[10:09] Hijikata**
I can't believe that you're asking!
**[10:11] Konto**
Well, I was holding off on a trip to the bathroom because I'm scared.
**[10:15] Kagura**
Okay, let's go.
**[10:17] Kondo**
All right.
**[10:19] Hijikata**
Hey, are you that scared?
**[10:21] Hijikata**
You wanna seriously live your life like that? Hey!
**[10:25] Hijikata**
You, please keep quiet about this. I'm begging you.
**[10:31] Shinpachi**
It looks like you guys really are in trouble. Are you all right?
**[10:35] Hijikata**
It's so shameful...
**[10:37] Hijikata**
I never thought my army would be so petrified of ghosts like this.
**[10:41] Hijikata**
If it's something we can see, we can fight it with our swords,
**[10:45] Hijikata**
but I have no idea what to do against something we can't see.
**[10:49] Gintoki**
Huh? What? You believe in ghosts?
**[10:53] ---**
Ow! Ow! Help, Mommy! It's the man who injured his head, over here!
**[10:59] Hijikata**
I'll kill you someday.
**[11:02] Okita**
Don't tell me you saw the woman in the red kimono.
**[11:07] Hijikata**
I can't tell for sure.
**[11:08] Hijikata**
But I saw something strange.
**[11:11] Hijikata**
I don't think it was human.
**[11:14] Gintoki/Okita**
Ow! Ow! Help! Daddy!
**[11:18] Okita**
Bring me a Band-Aid! The size that can wrap around a whole person!
**[11:23] Hijikata**
Did you guys rehearse this or something?!
**[11:25] Shinpachi**
A woman in a red kimono...
**[11:28] Shinpachi**
It reminds me of a ghost story...
**[11:31] Shinpachi**
At the Temple School I used to go to...that story got passed around a lot.
**[11:36] Shinpachi**
Let's see... One evening, a student was playing at school.
**[11:48] Kondo**
Wait for me! I'm begging you... just wait for me.
**[11:51] Kagura**
Don't make a mess!
**[11:53] Shinpachi**
Nobody was supposed to be in the school building at that time, but...
**[11:59] Kondo**
So many mosquitoes around...
**[12:02] Shinpachi**
...a woman wearing a kimono appeared.
**[12:05] Shinpachi**
And he asked her what she was doing...
**[12:11] Kagura**
Gorilla, what's wrong? Got caught in your zipper?
**[12:16] Gintoki**
Kagura, what happened?!
**[12:17] Kagura**
He got caught in his zipper.
**[12:20] Hijikata**
Get out of my way!
**[12:30] Gintoki**
How did he end up like that?
**[12:43] Kondo**
Uh... W-W-Woman in the red kimono...
**[12:48] ---**
Uh... Sh-She's coming!
**[12:53] Okita**
Kondo-san! Pull yourself together!
**[12:56] Okita**
Talking in his sleep...and at his age, too.
**[13:00] Gintoki**
Well, you know... He's probably dreaming of a woman he made cry a long time ago.
**[13:04] Hijikata**
A woman might have made Kondo cry, but he's never made a woman cry.
**[13:08] Gintoki**
Then the woman that made you cry has come back to complain some more.
**[13:13] Hijikata**
I'd never been with a bad woman like that before.
**[13:17] Gintoki**
I see. Then what?
**[13:18] Hijikata**
Heck if I know.
**[13:20] Hijikata**
But I can tell you that there's something strange going on in this building.
**[13:25] Shinpachi**
I think that's a ghost.
**[13:27] Gintoki**
Ah? I don't believe in unscientific things like ghosts.
**[13:31] Gintoki**
Though I believe in the Lost Continent of Mu.
**[13:37] Gintoki**
That's nonsense. It's too much trouble. Let's go home.
**[13:42] Shinpachi**
Gin-san...
**[13:44] Shinpachi**
What're you doing?
**[13:46] Gintoki**
Hey!
**[13:48] Gintoki**
I thought you guys were frightened so I was trying to help you.
**[13:52] Kagura**
Gin-chan, your hands are all sweaty and gross.
**[13:55] Gintoki**
Ah? What are you talking about?!
**[13:57] Okita**
Ah! The woman in the red kimono!
**[14:02] Shinpachi**
What are you doing, Gin-san?
**[14:07] Gintoki**
Well, the entrance to Mu...
**[14:10] Okita**
Say, tough guy... Are you afraid of...a ghost...?
**[14:14] Gintoki**
What?
**[14:15] Okita**
Hijikata-san, this guy... Oh?
**[14:22] Okita**
Hijikata-san, what are you doing?
**[14:26] Hijikata**
Well, the entrance to Mayonnaise Kingdom...
**[14:32] Gintoki**
Wait, wait, wait! Don't get me wrong!
**[14:34] ---**
He may be afraid, but not me.
**[14:37] Hijikata**
You're the one who's afraid!
**[14:39] Hijikata**
I just got an urge to return to the womb, is all!
**[14:43] Kagura**
All right, all right. You just go to Mu or Mayonnaise Kingdom or wherever.
**[14:49] Gintoki/Hijikata**
What does your contemptuous look mean?
**[14:52] Hijikata**
What's that?
**[14:54] Gintoki**
Hmph. If you're trying to scare us again, forget it.
**[14:56] Gintoki**
The same trick doesn't work twice.
**[15:00] Gintoki**
Hey, come on-you're taking this joke too far.
**[15:04] Gintoki**
Man, they really put a lot of effort into that put-down.
**[15:07] Hijikata**
Prankster kids...
**[15:09] Gintoki/Hijikata**
You can't deceive us.
**[15:16] Gintoki/Hijikata**
G-Good evening.
**[15:18] Shinpachi**
I-I-I saw her! She was real! She was real!
**[15:22] Kagura**
Gin-chan!
**[15:24] Okita**
Forget about them. They're doomed.
**[15:30] Shinpachi**
Th...they made it.
**[15:33] ---**
...Wait a minute.
**[15:34] Shinpachi**
They're carrying her! They're carrying the woman!
**[15:39] ---**
Get awaaaay!
**[15:41] Hijikata**
Hey! Why are you running from us?!
**[15:44] Gintoki**
Oh? Hold on. Do you feel something heavy on your back?
**[15:48] Hijikata**
I don't know! I have no idea!
**[15:50] Gintoki**
I'm sure someone is on us; I feel something heavy.
**[15:52] Hijikata**
Shut up. Why don't you check then?
**[15:55] Gintoki**
Can't you just take a look at it?!
**[15:58] Hijikata**
Hold on. Let's do this.
**[16:00] ---**
Let's both turn around and look at the same time.
**[16:02] Gintoki**
Just make sure you do it! Don't cheat me!
**[16:04] Gintoki**
You definitely look back!
**[16:05] Hijikata/Gintoki**
Here we go!
**[16:10] Hijikata/Gintoki**
G-Good evening.
**[16:16] Shinpachi**
They died! They really died!
**[16:18] Okita**
Yes! I'll finally be promoted to Vice-chief.
**[16:22] Shinpachi**
Whatever!
**[16:23] Okita**
Hey, does anybody have a light? Oh, there's a mosquito coil.
**[16:29] Shinpachi**
What's that? What the hell is that?
**[16:32] Kagura**
Shinpachi, did Gin-chan die? Did he?
**[16:38] Okita**
Well, I once tried to summon an evil spirit so Hijikata-san would die.
**[16:44] Okita**
Maybe it's left over from back then...
**[16:47] Shinpachi**
How black is your soul, anyway?!
**[16:50] Kagura**
Are you the root of this evil? You bastard-I'll avenge Gin!
**[16:54] Shinpachi**
Hey, hey! Stop it! This place is too small for that!
**[16:57] Shinpachi**
Every time you see each other, why are you...
**[17:10] Shinpachi**
I-It's here! Sorry.
**[17:14] Shinpachi**
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry!
**[17:16] Shinpachi**
You guys apologize, too!
**[17:18] Shinpachi**
If you apologize from your heart by bowing your head, it will reach everyone, stupid!
**[17:23] Shinpachi**
Seriously! We'll even lick the soles of your shoes, so please forgive us.
**[17:27] ---**
I don't taste very good... I don't taste very good... I don't taste...
**[17:33] Shinpachi**
Oh! She's gone.
**[17:35] Shinpachi**
Wh-Why?
**[17:45] Gintoki/Hijikata**
Stop with the annoying sound effects!
**[17:51] Gintoki**
...You survived.
**[17:53] Hijikata**
You must have the luck of the devil!
**[17:57] Gintoki**
Wh-Where did the thing go?
**[18:00] Hijikata**
Dunno. After the others probably.
**[18:05] Gintoki**
It ran away...
**[18:07] Gintoki**
You know what?
**[18:09] Gintoki**
While I was being chased by it, I was giving it my "Badass" look.
**[18:14] Gintoki**
I guess it worked.
**[18:16] Hijikata**
Whatever. While I was being chased by it, I kept pinching that thing.
**[18:21] Gintoki**
You're so small-minded...
**[18:33] Gintoki**
Well, I had a nice swim and am all refreshed. It's time for a counterattack.
**[18:38] Hijikata**
Don't try to act tough.
Your voice is quivering.
**[18:41] Hijikata**
I'll take care of that thing. You go lay down, princess
**[18:45] Gintoki**
I think you're the one who's frightened.
**[18:47] Gintoki**
I know you hid in the pond because you already wet your pants, huh?!
**[18:51] Hijikata**
What?! I'll exorcise you before I get that ghost!
**[18:56] Hijikata**
I owe you a lot, so I'll pay you back with interest!
**[19:03] Gintoki**
Huh? Did I lend you something? Don't worry, you can keep it!
**[19:07] Gintoki**
I already bought a new NES game.
**[19:09] Gintoki/Hijikata**
Shut up, already!!
**[19:26] Shinpachi**
Just as I expected.
**[19:28] Shinpachi**
This man...
**[19:29] Shinpachi**
and this man, as well as this one...
**[19:32] Shinpachi**
All these men, who were hit by ghosts, have huge mosquito bites...
**[19:38] Shinpachi**
That is...
**[19:40] Shinpachi**
not a ghost.
**[19:46] Hijikata**
H-H-Hey! What the heck was that?!
**[19:49] Hijikata**
It's f-f-flying!
**[19:51] Gintoki**
H-H-Hey, are you scared?
**[19:56] Hijikata**
N-N-No way! Who do you think I am?
**[20:00] Gintoki**
I'm not scared!
**[20:03] ---**
All right. You be the bait.
**[20:06] ---**
Then I'll...do that...
**[20:10] Hijikata**
Hey! What does "that" mean? Escape? Are you going to skip out?
**[20:15] Gintoki**
N-No way. Um...I'm going to shoot it with a bazooka.
**[20:19] Hijikata**
Where's the bazooka?
**[20:22] Gintoki**
Everyone has a bazooka in their heart.
**[20:24] Hijikata**
You just can't escape.
**[20:28] Gintoki**
Hey, what are you doing?!
**[20:42] Hijikata**
Running from an enemy goes against Bushido principles.
**[20:46] ---**
You had better study the code from scratch.
**[20:53] Gintoki**
What the hell are you doing?!
**[20:59] Gintoki**
You'll need another hundred years to tell me about the way of the samurai.
**[21:05] Gintoki**
Oh?
**[21:09] Mosquito Amanto**
Well, I'm sorry for what I did.
**[21:12] Mosquito Amanto**
I'm an Amanto. I'm like an earth mosquito.
**[21:16] Mosquito Amanto**
I got pregnant with my boss at work.
**[21:20] Mosquito Amanto**
And I needed energy for the delivery.
**[21:23] Mosquito Amanto**
He has a family, so I decided to raise my baby myself.
**[21:28] Mosquito Amanto**
I was looking for blood and found the perfect place full of hot-blooded men, so...
**[21:35] Mosquito Amanto**
I'm really sorry.
**[21:37] Mosquito Amanto**
But I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be strong enough to raise my baby!
**[21:43] Kondo**
Sorry, but can you stop making that horrible face?
**[21:48] Gintoki**
...Anyway, it doesn't matter whether it's a ghost or a mosquito.
**[21:52] Gintoki**
It's another pain in the butt to everyone.
**[21:54] Hijikata**
You're a pain in the butt!
**[21:56] Hijikata**
I'm not going to give you any reward. Just leave.
**[21:59] Gintoki**
But don't forget that it was my final blow that solved everything.
**[22:03] Hijikata**
What are you talking about?
**[22:05] Hijikata**
I made a blow before you, and that solved everything.
**[22:10] Hijikata**
I handled it without your help.
**[22:13] Gintoki**
Yeah, you sure talk big-but you were shaking in your boots.
**[22:16] Gintoki**
Who would believe the terrifying Vice-chief is scared of ghosts?
**[22:23] Hijikata**
You know, I was not scared. I was just startled.
**[22:28] Hijikata**
It's a huge difference.
**[22:30] Hijikata**
I bet you were really scared.
**[22:33] Gintoki**
You know, I was pretending that I was following the scripts.
**[22:36] Gintoki**
Actually, I prefer doing it like this. Let's do it every week...
**[22:41] Kagura**
Gin-chan, it's time to go...
**[22:46] Kagura**
What are you two doing?
**[22:49] Hijikata/Gintoki**
Well, I dropped my contact...
***SIGN***
***SIGN*** It's hot! Hot!
***SIGN*** Why do I have to get sweaty working to buy a fan?!
***SIGN*** I'm here to get something to cool down, but I'm getting hotter!
***SIGN*** The next episode is: "If You Go to Sleep with the Fan On You'll Get a Stomachache, So Be Careful."
***SIGN*** [Also, the Odd Jobs go fishing. "If You're a Man, Try the Swordfish!"]
***SIGN*** [But what they caught was a Kappa, the master of the lake? Ebina-san? What the... He actually has a name?!]
**[24:52] Hijikata**
Finally, I've got enough mayonnaise!