# E175 - No Matter How Old You Get, You Still Hate the Dentist
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GY490M8WR/no-matter-how-old-you-get-you-still-hate-the-dentist)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[01:43] Gintoki**
Hurry it up...
**[01:47] Gintoki**
I'm begging ya.
**[01:49] Gintoki**
Make it quick.
**[01:52] Gintoki**
Please...
**[01:54] Gintoki**
Hurry...
**[01:55] Gintoki**
End my suffering!
**[01:58] Gintoki**
Why don't you finish me off?
**[02:00] Gintoki**
Why must you waste time?
**[02:04] Gintoki**
Kill me!
**[02:05] Gintoki**
Just get it over with!
**[02:07] Gintoki**
Do you enjoy torturing me?!
**[02:10] Gintoki**
Please!
**[02:12] Gintoki**
I can't stand just sitting here
waiting for my death!
**[02:15] Gintoki**
I'll go insane!
**[02:17] Gintoki**
I beg ya!
**[02:19] Gintoki**
Quick!
**[02:20] Gintoki**
Kill me!
**[02:24] Nurse A**
Um, Sakata-san.
**[02:26] Nurse A**
Excuse me, but could you keep it down?
**[02:31] Nurse A**
You're disturbing the other patients.
***SIGN*** [Namu Dental Clinic]
**[02:35] Gintoki**
Sorry about that...
***SIGN*** ["People Of All Ages Hate The Dentist!"]
**[02:47] Gintoki**
No...
**[02:48] Gintoki**
I hate going to the dentist.
**[02:50] Gintoki**
That distinctive odor...
**[02:52] Gintoki**
That shady easy listening music...
**[02:55] Gintoki**
The echoing whir of the drill...
**[02:57] Gintoki**
And the wait... It's like waiting
for your death sentence...
**[03:01] Gintoki**
Damn! I SO wanna go home!
**[03:03] Gintoki**
Go home, latch on to Sadaharu,
and cuddle in his fur!
**[03:06] Gintoki**
But my tooth hurts...
**[03:08] Gintoki**
No, but I'm scared of the treatment...
**[03:10] Gintoki**
How many times have
I gone through this?
**[03:12] Gintoki**
Just put me out of my misery.
**[03:15] Gintoki**
Sure, a candy lover is doomed
to a life of cavities,
**[03:19] Gintoki**
but that aspect of my character's
been forgotten, you know?
**[03:23] Gintoki**
There was no scene of me
eating sweets lately.
**[03:26] Gintoki**
They're gonna drill.
**[03:28] Gintoki**
They'll stick that thing in my mouth for sure.
**[03:30] Gintoki**
A drill doesn't belong in your mouth.
**[03:33] Gintoki**
It's the last thing you
should stick in there!
**[03:34] Gintoki**
That's not what a doctor's
supposed to do.
**[03:36] Gintoki**
What do I do?
**[03:37] Gintoki**
Will I die if I sneeze when
the drill's in my mouth?
**[03:40] Gintoki**
Am I gonna die?
**[03:42] Gintoki**
What do I do?
**[03:43] Gintoki**
Will I die if that sucking tube
thing gets my tongue?
**[03:47] Gintoki**
Am I gonna die?!
**[03:51] Gintoki**
Stop, stop!!
**[03:52] Gintoki**
Enough already!!
**[03:53] Gintoki**
I'll stop thinking about it.
**[03:56] Gintoki**
I'll read a magazine or something
to take my mind off that.
**[03:59] Gintoki**
JUMP... JUMP...
***SIGN*** [Note: "Weekly Shonen Magazine" published from Kodansha.]
**[04:01] Gintoki**
What? This place prefers Magazine?
**[04:03] Gintoki**
I guess it can't hurt every
once in a while...
**[04:13] Gintoki**
Here to clean your tobacco
stains? You nicotine addict!
**[04:15] Hijikata**
Can't you tell from my face?
**[04:17] Hijikata**
An old silver cap decided to rot on me.
**[04:21] Hijikata**
Damn, anything with the word
"silver" in it is bound to fail.
***SIGN*** [Note: Part of Gintoki's name is "Gin", which is silver in Japanese.]
**[04:23] Gintoki**
Let go. I grabbed it first.
**[04:26] Hijikata**
No, we touched it at the same time.
**[04:27] Hijikata**
And don't you prefer JUMP?
**[04:28] Hijikata**
Let this Magazine fan have it.
**[04:30] Gintoki**
It's a good idea to check
out the enemy at times.
**[04:34] Gintoki**
So what if it's the 50th anniversary?
**[04:36] Gintoki**
Why are you teaming up with Sunday?
***SIGN***
**[04:39] Gintoki**
Something's up there.
**[04:40] Hijikata**
What, are you jealous?
**[04:41] Hijikata**
You want in or something?
**[04:43] Hijikata**
You upset about not being
invited to the party?
**[04:45] Gintoki**
Heck no.
**[04:45] Gintoki**
Go enjoy it yourselves.
**[04:46] Gintoki**
It's easier for us to go solo.
**[04:49] Gintoki**
No point in cooperating when you
guys have no chance against us.
**[04:51] Hijikata**
You've got it backwards.
**[04:53] Hijikata**
Don't you understand that
everyone hates you?
**[04:55] Hijikata**
Can't you tell that you're being shunned?
**[04:57] Nurse A**
Please keep it down.
**[04:57] Gintoki**
What? Pretending to be popular?
**[04:58] Nurse A**
You're disturbing the other patients...
**[04:59] Gintoki**
Haven't you realized that Sunday's only
pretending to be a buddy to Magazine?
**[05:02] Gintoki**
He was trashing you on the way
home from school the other day.
**[05:04] Hijikata**
Sunday would never do that!
**[05:06] Hijikata**
Don't make shit up.
**[05:07] Gintoki**
Go ask Champion.
***SIGN*** [Note: "Weekly Shonen Champion" is manga magazine from Akita Shoten.]
**[05:09] Gintoki**
He heard it too.
**[05:10] Hijikata**
Shut up!
**[05:10] Hijikata**
What do you know about Sunday?!
**[05:12] Gintoki**
Keep on pretending to be all tight!
**[05:13] Gintoki**
Too bad you're anything but!
**[05:14] Nurse A**
Hey! I told you to
shut the hell up!
**[05:14] Gintoki**
Everybody knows already!
**[05:15] Gintoki**
Gangan and Ace know too!
***SIGN***
**[05:23] Hijikata**
I just had to run into this jerk.
**[05:25] Gintoki**
Why did I have to bump
into him of all people?
**[05:29] Hijikata**
I have to act calm.
**[05:31] Gintoki**
I can't let him know my weakness.
**[05:35] Both**
I can't let him know that I still
hate the dentist at this age!
**[05:42] Gintoki**
Hey, can you cut that out?
**[05:46] Gintoki**
Constantly fidgeting...
**[05:48] Gintoki**
How many times are you
going to cross your legs?
**[05:50] Gintoki**
You're making me nervous.
**[05:52] Hijikata**
And what about you?
**[05:53] Hijikata**
Your leg's been tapping like crazy.
***SIGN***
**[05:56] Hijikata**
Could you cut it out?
**[05:57] Hijikata**
You're gonna make me poor like you.
**[05:59] Gintoki**
I'm all irritated because of your fidgeting.
**[06:02] Gintoki**
Oh?
**[06:03] Gintoki**
Is that it?
**[06:04] Gintoki**
Are you scared?
**[06:05] Gintoki**
The Demon Vice-Chief?
**[06:07] Hijikata**
Huh? What?
**[06:08] Hijikata**
No idea what you're talking about.
**[06:09] Hijikata**
Scared of what?
**[06:10] Hijikata**
Was there something scary
about the dentist?
**[06:13] Gintoki**
No, not really.
**[06:14] Gintoki**
Nothing at all.
**[06:15] Hijikata**
You said that because there's
something to be scared of.
**[06:18] Hijikata**
Which means you're the
one who's scared?
**[06:20] Gintoki**
Hell no.
**[06:21] Gintoki**
You know how people say that the
sound of a drill can be scary?
**[06:25] Gintoki**
Not that I would understand.
**[06:27] Hijikata**
I don't get it either.
**[06:28] Hijikata**
Hell, I want a drill in my
mouth every week;
**[06:31] Hijikata**
come in to get plaque removed
on a regular basis.
**[06:34] Gintoki**
What? You don't do that?
**[06:35] Gintoki**
I have the whole package
done every three days.
**[06:39] Gintoki**
My mouth feels all icky if I
don't get that drill in there.
**[06:42] Hijikata**
Oh, really.
**[06:43] Hijikata**
I have my own drill at home so
I don't have to come here.
**[06:47] Hijikata**
Since I'm a driller.
**[06:49] Gintoki**
Driller?!
**[06:51] Gintoki**
What the hell's a driller?!
**[06:52] Gintoki**
Why do you have your own drill?!
**[06:54] Gintoki**
He's crazy!
**[06:54] Gintoki**
No fear of drills!
**[06:57] Gintoki**
Oh, you're also a driller?
**[07:00] Gintoki**
What a coincidence.
**[07:01] Gintoki**
Interested in entering a
drill contest with me?
**[07:04] Hijikata**
Drill contest?!
**[07:06] Hijikata**
No way! I don't wanna do that crap!
**[07:09] Hijikata**
This guy enters a contest like that?!
**[07:11] Hijikata**
He's a monster!
**[07:13] Hijikata**
Sure, if I'm off that day.
**[07:15] Hijikata**
Well, I'll try to keep my schedule open.
**[07:18] Hasegawa**
Huh? What are you two
doing here together?
**[07:22] Gintoki**
Hasegawa-san.
**[07:24] Hasegawa**
You guys are also having
teeth problems?
**[07:26] Hijikata**
I was taking a walk and decided
to stop by for a drilling.
**[07:29] Hasegawa**
A drill? What are you talking about?
**[07:31] Gintoki**
Are you also here for a drilling?
**[07:33] Hasegawa**
A drilling? Well, I'm here to get treated.
**[07:35] Hasegawa**
I just stepped out for a bathroom break.
**[07:38] Hasegawa**
But man...
**[07:40] Hasegawa**
The treatment here really hurts.
**[07:47] Gintoki**
O-Oh, really...
**[07:50] Gintoki**
I hate those month-long treatments that require
you to keep going back to the dentist.
**[07:53] Gintoki**
I heard that they did it in one shot here.
**[07:56] Hasegawa**
Sure, they're fast, but it hurts.
**[08:00] Hasegawa**
I felt like screaming so many times.
**[08:03] Assistant**
Hasegawa-san!
**[08:04] Assistant**
Are you finished?
**[08:05] Hasegawa**
Oh, sorry! I'm on my way.
**[08:07] Hasegawa**
I'll be going then.
**[08:09] Hasegawa**
You'd better prepare yourselves.
**[08:15] Gintoki**
I-I see...
**[08:17] Gintoki**
It hurts...
**[08:18] Gintoki**
W-Well, dental treatments are
supposed to hurt.
**[08:21] Hijikata**
Th-That's right...
**[08:23] Hijikata**
To the point where you wonder
if it worked if it didn't hurt.
**[08:26] Gintoki**
Hmm? You look a little pale?
**[08:29] Hijikata**
Not at all.
**[08:31] Assistant**
Hasegawa-san, don't struggle!
**[08:34] Assistant**
It's dangerous so you have to stay still!
**[08:35] Dr. Yabuta**
Hold Hasegawa-san down.
**[08:37] Dr. Yabuta**
Tie him down to the seat.
**[08:38] Dr. Yabuta**
Ah, yes. Like that.
**[08:40] Hijikata**
Doesn't this sound a little too painful?
**[08:44] Gintoki**
What kind of treatment is this?!
**[08:46] Assistant**
Doctor! Hasegawa-san's pulse!
**[08:48] Dr. Yabuta**
Perform CPR. If it doesn't work,
bring out the defibrillator.
**[08:51] Hijikata**
Defibrillator?!
**[08:52] Hijikata**
Why would a dentist need that?!
**[08:53] Assistant**
Doctor! His pulse is back,
**[08:55] Assistant**
but the shock threw "that" loose!
**[08:57] Gintoki**
Threw "that" loose?!
**[08:58] Gintoki**
What's "that"?! What's loose?!
**[08:59] Dr. Yabuta**
Oh, it's okay. We won't
be using that again.
**[09:02] Dr. Yabuta**
Dip it in the ponzu sauce.
***SIGN*** [Note: Ponzu sauce is a citrus based sauce often used as dip for shabu-shabu.]
**[09:03] Gintoki**
Dip it in the ponzu sauce?!
**[09:04] Gintoki**
What are they doing?!
**[09:05] Assistant**
Wouldn't this go better
with sesame sauce, Doc?
**[09:08] Hijikata**
Sesame sauce?!
**[09:09] Hijikata**
Are they having shabu-shabu?!
**[09:10] Hijikata**
They're having shabu-shabu, right?!
**[09:11] Dr. Yabuta**
Okay, that should do it.
**[09:13] Hijikata**
It's over?!
**[09:14] Hijikata**
They finished it with a ponzu sauce?!
**[09:16] Dr. Yabuta**
How do you feel, Hasegawa-san?
**[09:18] Hasegawa**
Man, it's like the pain's completely gone.
**[09:21] Gintoki**
Not just your pain, but like a part
of your body's also gone!
**[09:23] Gintoki**
It's been dunked in ponzu sauce!
**[09:25] Dr. Yabuta**
You'll be able to eat anything you
want now, just like before.
**[09:28] Hasegawa**
Man... Thank you very much, Doc.
**[09:32] Assistant**
We've included some painkillers and
a toothbrush specially made by us.
**[09:36] Hasegawa**
Thanks for being so considerate.
**[09:39] Assistant**
Take care now.
**[09:40] Hasegawa**
Thank you very much!
**[09:44] Hasegawa**
Man, I'm completely better now.
**[09:47] Hasegawa**
It was damn painful, but the
dentist was pretty good.
**[09:50] Hasegawa**
Look, they even included a toothbrush!
**[09:55] Both**
Included as in literally included?!
**[09:58] Gintoki**
Wait!
**[09:59] Gintoki**
Your teeth are fine now, but you lost
something more important instead?!
**[10:02] Hijikata**
That's way beyond an
equivalent exchange!
**[10:04] Nurse A**
You should come in for a new toothbrush
if the bristles wear out.
**[10:07] Hasegawa**
May I say something...?
**[10:09] Gintoki**
Yeah! Speak your mind! Sue them!
**[10:11] Hijikata**
That's one crazy quack!
**[10:12] Hasegawa**
I need a hard toothbrush
to get the job done.
**[10:16] Both**
That's not the issue here!
**[10:18] Nurse A**
Yes, no problem.
**[10:19] Nurse A**
We included a hard toothbrush
on your crotch to be safe.
**[10:22] Nurse A**
It'll get hard when you play around with it.
**[10:24] Gintoki**
That's not the point!!
**[10:26] Gintoki**
How are you supposed to
brush your teeth with it?!
**[10:28] Gintoki**
Only your wife can reach down
there to brush with it!
**[10:29] Dr. Yabuta**
Well, you take care now.
**[10:32] Kondo**
Oh, it's Toshi!
**[10:34] Kondo**
You guys are also here to get treated?
**[10:36] Hijikata**
Kondo-san...
**[10:37] Kondo**
Man, this dentist does good work!
**[10:40] Kondo**
I'm completely better now!
**[10:41] Kondo**
They even included an...
**[10:43] Kondo**
electric toothbrush.
**[10:46] Hijikata**
Electric toothbrush...?
**[10:48] Gintoki**
Isn't that Hasegawa-san's arm?
**[10:51] Kondo**
Well, it smells like ponzu sauce,
but it's pretty useful.
**[10:54] Gintoki**
Hey! It's obviously Hasegawa-san's!
**[10:57] Hasegawa**
Really? I don't like the idea of
letting machines do the work.
**[11:01] Hasegawa**
You have to brush your teeth
with your own hands.
**[11:03] Hijikata**
Yeah, that'd be your hand right there.
**[11:05] Hijikata**
And hasn't your hand been
replaced by a toothbrush?
**[11:07] Nurse A**
If Hasega...
**[11:09] Nurse A**
The electric toothbrush starts to rot,
please come in to get it replaced.
**[11:12] Gintoki**
She was about to say Hasegawa-san's
arm, wasn't she?!
**[11:14] Kondo**
Excuse me...
**[11:15] Kondo**
I'm having a hard time getting
the brush to reach my mouth.
**[11:19] Kondo**
Is that okay?
**[11:20] Nurse A**
It's fine.
**[11:21] Nurse A**
If it doesn't reach, use a toothbrush in
your own hand to brush your teeth.
**[11:24] Hijikata**
Why'd you include the arm then?!
**[11:26] Hijikata**
That's just harassment!
**[11:27] Nurse A**
Take care now, you two.
**[11:30] Gintoki**
Take care, my ass!
**[11:31] Gintoki**
Why don't you take care
of your patients first?!
**[11:34] Hijikata**
This isn't dental care. They're
modifying your body!
**[11:38] Gintoki**
This dentist is crazy!
**[11:40] Gintoki**
It's way too insane!
**[11:49] Hijikata**
H-Hey...
**[11:50] Hijikata**
What are you doing? Get outta here!
**[11:53] Hijikata**
This is no dental clinic.
**[11:55] Hijikata**
It's Shocker HQ.
***SIGN***
**[11:56] Gintoki**
Stop being stubborn and scram.
**[11:58] Gintoki**
Hey, what are you doing?
**[12:00] Gintoki**
Go home, please!
**[12:01] Gintoki**
I'll give you 300 yen.
**[12:02] Hijikata**
What's wrong with this guy?
Why doesn't he run?
**[12:05] Gintoki**
Get a clue!
**[12:06] Gintoki**
I can't leave until you do, fool!
**[12:10] Nurse A**
Could the next patients
please step inside.
**[12:12] Nurse A**
Two at a time.
**[12:14] Hijikata**
No way. You're kidding.
**[12:16] Gintoki**
Are we seriously going?
**[12:18] Gintoki**
Well, let's see how deep
that drill will go this time.
**[12:23] Gintoki**
Will it reach my soul?
**[12:25] Gintoki**
No! I don't wanna go!
**[12:27] Gintoki**
How would a drill reach my soul?!
**[12:29] Gintoki**
I have no idea what I'm saying!
**[12:31] Hijikata**
Why do people dig?
**[12:33] Hijikata**
Because they have drills.
**[12:35] Hijikata**
What was that?!
**[12:37] Hijikata**
Am I an idiot?! An idiot?!
**[12:39] Hijikata**
Stop pretending to be
a man and run for it!
**[12:42] Gintoki**
Hey! Somebody!
**[12:44] Hijikata**
Anybody!
**[12:45] Both**
Stop us!!
**[12:59] Dr. Yabuta**
Hello.
**[13:01] Dr. Yabuta**
I'm Yabuta of the Namu dental clinic.
**[13:04] Dr. Yabuta**
Sakata-san and Hijikata-san, right?
**[13:06] Dr. Yabuta**
I'll be taking care of you today.
**[13:08] Dr. Yabuta**
Don't be so nervous.
**[13:11] Dr. Yabuta**
It won't hurt.
**[13:12] Dr. Yabuta**
Well, just relax. C'mon, relax.
**[13:17] Both**
A-A crime scene?!
**[13:20] Gintoki**
Is a dental operation room supposed
to be this red?
**[13:22] Gintoki**
Wasn't it supposed to be whiter?
**[13:24] Gintoki**
All spic-and-span?
**[13:26] Hijikata**
Was dental care always so bloody?
**[13:29] Hijikata**
Weren't the instruments more compact?
**[13:31] Hijikata**
Was there a chainsaw involved?
**[13:37] Both**
Is this how going to the dentist was like?!
**[13:40] Dr. Yabuta**
Well, you've both got
some swollen faces.
**[13:44] Dr. Yabuta**
Why did you leave it alone so long?
**[13:46] Dr. Yabuta**
That's no good.
**[13:47] Dr. Yabuta**
The mouth is like the
entrance to a human.
**[13:50] Dr. Yabuta**
Also the first step to
getting to know a person.
**[13:54] Dr. Yabuta**
You can judge a person by their teeth.
**[13:59] Dr. Yabuta**
Yeah, most people with
dirty teeth are slobs.
**[14:03] Dr. Yabuta**
People who keep their teeth clean
probably listened to their parents.
**[14:07] Dr. Yabuta**
Yep, that's why I always tell my
young patients the following.
**[14:12] Dr. Yabuta**
When you go on a group date, looks
and personality don't matter.
**[14:16] Dr. Yabuta**
Check their boobs first.
**[14:19] Both**
Doc, the door to your entrance
has fallen off its hinges...
**[14:23] Dr. Yabuta**
You can judge a person
after seeing their boobs.
**[14:26] Hijikata**
This Doc is terrible!
**[14:27] Dr. Yabuta**
Women with big areolae on their breasts have big
hearts that are more forgiving of adultery.
**[14:29] Hijikata**
He's talking about boobs!
**[14:31] Gintoki**
The door's fallen loose,
**[14:32] Gintoki**
and there's a toilet-like smell coming out!
**[14:35] Gintoki**
Like Niwa-kun's place where you go
in the door and it smells like a toilet!
**[14:38] Gintoki**
The toilet is his entrance!
**[14:41] Dr. Yabuta**
And women with small areolae on
their breasts tend to be smothering.
**[14:45] Dr. Yabuta**
You've gotta be careful.
**[14:47] Hijikata**
Nobody would want to smother you!
**[14:49] Dr. Yabuta**
Areolae are the key to women.
**[14:51] Dr. Yabuta**
Nothing else matters.
**[14:52] Gintoki**
What kind of a group date would involve
looking at their areolae?!
**[14:54] Gintoki**
What kind of group date did you go to?!
**[14:58] Dr. Yabuta**
Okay...
**[14:59] Dr. Yabuta**
Let's get down to business.
**[15:01] Dr. Yabuta**
I'll have an assistant take
a quick look at you.
**[15:04] Dr. Yabuta**
Well, it's possible that my assistants
will be able to take care of you.
**[15:08] Gintoki**
G-Good... He's not doing the treatment.
**[15:11] Dr. Yabuta**
Hey! You two!
**[15:14] ---**
Yes!
**[15:16] Nakayama**
Yes.
**[15:20] Dr. Yabuta**
Nakayama-san and Battle
Fairy Shazzan-san.
**[15:23] Dr. Yabuta**
Which do you want?
**[15:24] Gintoki**
Nakayama-san!
**[15:25] Hijikata**
Definitely Nakayama-san!
**[15:27] Gintoki**
Anybody but Shazzan-san!
**[15:29] Nakayama**
Ooh, what to do?
**[15:31] Nakayama**
Which one do you like?
**[15:32] Nakayama**
I prefer the one with black hair.
**[15:34] Hijikata**
And what the hell is that?
**[15:35] Hijikata**
Why is Battle Fairy Shazzan
working in a dental clinic?!
**[15:38] Hijikata**
What the hell is Battle Fairy Shazzan?!
**[15:39] Dr. Yabuta**
Which do you want to look at you?
**[15:41] Both**
I want Nakayama-san!
**[15:41] Both**
I want Nakayama-san!
**[15:43] Dr. Yabuta**
Sakata-san was a little faster.
**[15:46] Dr. Yabuta**
Then Sakata-san will
have Nakayama-san.
**[15:47] Hijikata**
Wait!
**[15:48] Hijikata**
Uh, hold on!
**[15:50] Gintoki**
Right on...
**[15:52] Gintoki**
I dodged a bullet there.
**[15:55] Nakayama**
The name's Nakayama.
**[15:57] Nakayama**
I'll be taking care of you, Sakata-san.
**[15:59] Gintoki**
Y-You're Nakayama?!
**[16:02] Gintoki**
Wait!
**[16:03] Gintoki**
Hold on!
**[16:04] Gintoki**
You totally look like a
Battle Fairy Shazzan!
**[16:06] Gintoki**
You're obviously not Nakayama-san!
**[16:09] Hijikata**
Suck on that.
**[16:11] Hijikata**
I don't know what's going on,
**[16:11] Hijikata**
but I guess this lady was Battle
Fairy Shazzan-san.
**[16:16] Hijikata**
W-Well, I'm all yours, Shazzan-san.
**[16:28] Shazzan**
I am Battle Fairy Shazzan.
**[16:30] Shazzan**
I'll be taking care of you.
**[16:32] Hijikata**
Why?!
**[16:34] Assistant**
Well, Nakayama-san, Shazzan-san,
do your best.
**[16:37] Both**
Roger.
**[16:38] Hijikata**
So Nakayama-san and Shazzan-san
are both battle fairies?!
**[16:42] Nakayama**
Then, we shall explain this clinic's system
before we commence treatment.
**[16:47] Gintoki**
Before you do that, explain how you've
ended up as battle fairies!
**[16:51] Shazzan**
Our clinic will treat your dental maladies,
**[16:53] Shazzan**
and also provide operating services
to prevent any future cavities.
**[16:58] Hijikata**
That's way beyond a dentist's job!
**[17:00] Nakayama**
Then we'll move on to an explanation
of your options.
**[17:04] Nakayama**
Option A provides treatment of your cavity
and surgery to modify your body.
**[17:08] Nakayama**
Option B provides surgery to modify
your body and comes with free drinks.
**[17:12] Gintoki**
Option B has nothing to do with my teeth!
**[17:15] Gintoki**
Why are there free drinks?!
**[17:17] Gintoki**
Uh, excuse me.
**[17:18] Gintoki**
Isn't there an option that skips the surgery
and gets my cavity treated?
**[17:22] Nakayama**
You'll save money by choosing Option A instead
of getting the treatment and surgery separately.
**[17:27] Gintoki**
No, I don't want the surgery.
**[17:29] Gintoki**
I just want to get this cavity treated!
**[17:31] Nakayama**
Then I would recommend
either Option Z or X.
**[17:35] Gintoki**
What are those?
**[17:37] Nakayama**
Option Z includes a massage when
you get your cavity treated.
**[17:41] Nakayama**
Option X includes a salad bar
when you get treatment.
**[17:44] Gintoki**
A-Ah, then I'll take Option Z.
**[17:47] Nakayama**
With the massage?
**[17:49] Gintoki**
Yea, whatever. That'll do.
**[17:51] Nakayama**
Roger.
**[17:53] Gintoki**
Whew... I managed to avoid the surgery.
**[17:59] Betty**
I'm Betty. I'll be taking care of you, boss.
**[18:03] Gintoki**
They attached a massage girl!
**[18:06] Gintoki**
I ended up getting modified!
**[18:08] Gintoki**
And this has nothing to do
with preventing cavities!
**[18:11] Gintoki**
This thing has no intention
of doing its job!
**[18:13] Gintoki**
Couldn't they give me a higher
quality girl at least?!
**[18:18] Nakayama**
Allow me to explain.
**[18:20] Nakayama**
Pleasure Fort Betty and Sakata-san
have been neurologically connected,
**[18:24] Nakayama**
which means that the robot
Pleasure Fort Betty
**[18:27] Nakayama**
appears as an actual massage
girl to Sakata-san.
***SIGN*** [In Actuality]
***SIGN*** [Through Gintoki's Eyes]
**[18:31] Nakayama**
Our service is perfect.
**[18:33] Hijikata**
That was close!
**[18:35] Hijikata**
I was about to end up the same way!
**[18:38] Hijikata**
But I already learned that I should think
carefully from the battle fairy deal.
**[18:43] Hijikata**
Option X!
**[18:44] Hijikata**
Treatment with a salad bar service.
**[18:46] Hijikata**
This is the right answer.
**[18:48] Hijikata**
Uh, I'll have Option X.
**[18:52] Shazzan**
Roger.
**[18:53] Hijikata**
No way you can attach
a salad bar to a body.
**[18:57] Hijikata**
Thanks. Your failure saved me
from making the same mistake.
***SIGN*** [Note: "Baa" here is used to mean "old lady" not "bar"]
**[19:08] Hijikata**
Th-They gave me a Salad Baa!
**[19:11] Hijikata**
They got me!
***SIGN*** [In Actuality]
**[19:12] Hijikata**
This is what they meant
by a "salad bar"?!
**[19:14] Hijikata**
And what's the point of this?!
***SIGN*** [Through Hijikata's Eyes]
**[19:16] Hijikata**
She's just sitting there eating salad!
**[19:18] Hijikata**
And she's using dressing
instead of mayonnaise!
**[19:21] Hijikata**
This just sucks!
**[19:22] Hijikata**
I'll have to watch this old lady eat salad
without mayo for the rest of my life?!
**[19:26] Nakayama**
Okay, that should take care
of the preparations.
**[19:29] Gintoki**
Preparations?!
**[19:31] Gintoki**
What could this possibly prepare us for?!
**[19:32] Shazzan**
Then we'll begin the actual
treatment now.
**[19:35] Hijikata**
Treat my body before you treat my teeth!
**[19:38] Hijikata**
Give me back my original body!
**[19:39] Nakayama**
Open wide.
**[19:42] Nakayama**
Please relax.
**[19:43] Nakayama**
There's nothing to be scared of.
**[19:45] Gintoki**
You're damn scary!
**[19:47] Shazzan**
Open wide.
**[19:49] Shazzan**
Your face will be blown
off if it touches the drill.
**[19:52] Hijikata**
That huge-ass drill can't fit in my mouth!
**[19:58] Nakayama**
Don't worry.
**[20:00] Nakayama**
The modifications mean that your body
will suffer less from the treatment.
**[20:05] Shazzan**
Well? There shouldn't be much pain.
**[20:09] Gintoki**
Now that you mention it...
**[20:10] Hijikata**
It doesn't hurt at all.
**[20:13] Nakayama**
Our clinic specializes in swift care,
**[20:16] Nakayama**
but that puts a heavier
burden on the patient.
**[20:18] Shazzan**
The surgery modifies your body to cope with
the care and allow for safe treatment.
**[20:26] Gintoki**
Uh, safe?
**[20:28] Gintoki**
This stopped being safe when
you modified our bodies!
**[20:31] Both**
Hold on a second...
**[20:34] Both**
Is all the damage being
shifted over to them?!
**[20:37] Shazzan**
They bear most of the pain,
so relax as we treat you.
**[20:42] Hijikata**
Uh, that's no ordinary pain.
***SIGN*** [Through Hijikata's Eyes]
**[20:45] Hijikata**
It's pretty hard to relax
while that's going on.
***SIGN*** [In Actuality]
**[20:48] Nakayama**
If it weren't for them, you would
be feeling even more pain.
***SIGN*** [Through Gintoki's Eyes]
**[20:52] Gintoki**
So we don't feel any pain, but whatever's happening
to our body causes that much pain?
***SIGN*** [In Actuality]
**[20:56] Gintoki**
Is that okay?! Huh?!
***SIGN*** [Through Gintoki's Eyes]
**[20:58] Gintoki**
No! Stop!
**[20:59] Gintoki**
Don't look at me like that!
***SIGN*** [In Actuality]
**[21:00] Gintoki**
What? Is it my fault?!
**[21:02] Gintoki**
Was I wrong?!
***SIGN*** [Through Hijikata's Eyes]
**[21:04] Hijikata**
This isn't my fault.
***SIGN*** [In Actuality]
**[21:06] Hijikata**
Yeah, I have nothing to do with this!
**[21:09] Gintoki**
Huh? What is this?
**[21:11] Gintoki**
I've got this weird image in my mind.
**[21:14] Gintoki**
Hey! What is this?
**[21:15] Gintoki**
Like my life is flashing before my eyes?
**[21:17] Gintoki**
Or is this Betty's life?
**[21:19] Gintoki**
And what's with the fake memories?!
**[21:22] Gintoki**
I don't remember anything
like that happening!
**[21:24] Gintoki**
Stop! Don't show me that creepy stuff!
**[21:26] Gintoki**
I didn't do anything wrong!
**[21:27] Gintoki**
This has nothing to do with me!
**[21:28] Gintoki**
I'm the one who was modified
and getting screwed!
**[21:32] Hijikata**
Huh? What is this?
**[21:33] Hijikata**
Strange images are flowing
into my mind.
**[21:37] Hijikata**
Hey, are these flashbacks...?
**[21:39] Hijikata**
The salad old lady's life is
flashing before my eyes?!
**[21:41] Hijikata**
And she has no actual memories!
**[21:43] Hijikata**
It's all about vegetables!
**[21:45] Hijikata**
Are you okay with this?!
**[21:47] Hijikata**
Dying without any decent memories...
**[21:48] Hijikata**
No, I want to get my cavity treated.
**[21:50] Hijikata**
I don't give a damn about
a salad old lady!
**[21:54] Both**
It's not my fault! It's not my
fault! It's not my fault!
**[21:58] Both**
It's not my fault! It's not my
fault! It's not my fault!
**[22:01] Both**
Yeah!
**[22:02] Both**
We didn't do anything...
**[22:04] Both**
WROOOOOONG!!
**[22:09] Nurse B**
Um, excuse me.
**[22:11] Nurse B**
This isn't a dental clinic.
**[22:15] Gintoki**
I know.
**[22:16] Nurse B**
Well, you obviously have cavities.
**[22:19] Nurse B**
You should go see a dentist.
**[22:21] Hijikata**
We don't care about the cavities.
**[22:23] Hijikata**
It'll rot and fall out soon enough.
**[22:25] Nurse B**
Then why are you here?
**[22:30] Both**
Please fix her...
**[22:30] Both**
Please fix her...
***SIGN***
**[24:05] Gintoki**
Okay, people.
**[24:06] Gintoki**
Clean out your ears and listen good!
**[24:09] Both**
Okay!
Will do!
**[24:10] Gintoki**
Next time on GinTama the anime...
"Countdown Begins"!
**[24:14] Gintoki**
Huh? Why isn't there any reaction?
**[24:17] Shinpachi**
Come on...
***SIGN*** ["Countdown Begins"]
**[24:18] Kagura**
We're not falling for that again.
***SIGN*** [The countdown finally begins for GinTama the anime.]
***SIGN*** [See you next time.]