E136 - It’s Your House, You Build It

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] All
    Our apologies to all our viewers today.
[00:06] Shinpachi
    Gin, what are we apologizing for?
[00:09] Gintoki
    Well, something unexpected happened.
[00:11] Gintoki
    Remember last year when we had to skip one episode because of the Japan World Series?
[00:14] Kagura
    It really messed up our schedules. All of a sudden, we had to adjust the number of stories.
[00:19] Gintoki
    So this year, we did something different.
[00:21] Shinpachi
    Don't tell me...
[00:22] Gintoki
    Yes, we're one story short.
[00:24] Kagura
    Then we didn't have the Japan World Series this year.
[00:28] Kagura
    So we're short one story.
[00:30] Shinpachi
    Therefore, we don't have an on-air episode for you today.
[00:33] Shinpachi
    What?! What are we going to do tonight then?
[00:36] Shinpachi
    Anyway, what did you mean by unexpected?!
[00:38] Shinpachi
    Hey, staff! Why couldn't you figure this out?
[00:40] Gintoki
    Don't worry. They're writing today's script in the back room right now.
[00:44] Gintoki
    They said we have to ad lib until then.
[00:46] Shinpachi
    When did you put in the order? How much longer will it take them to finish?
[00:51] Kagura
    Well, they need about another 29 minutes.
[00:53] Shinpachi
    The show will be over by then!
[00:55] Shinpachi
    On the last recap show, the executives complained to our producer:
[00:58] Shinpachi
    "Using stills over a long period causes our sales in foreign countries to drop.
[01:01] Shinpachi
    It's hard for foreigners to understand unless the picture is animated."
[01:07] Kagura
    Are you kidding? Even Japanese have a hard time understanding the original gags in this anime.
[01:12] Kagura
    It's too late to do something for foreign countries!
[01:14] Shinpachi
    Th-That's true.
[01:16] Gintoki
    That makes a lot of sense.
[01:17] Gintoki
    Forget about foreign sales.
[01:19] Gintoki
    It sounds like too much. We should just focus on the immediate broadcast.
[01:23] Shinpachi
    Well, that's why I'm concerned about today's show.
[01:27] Shinpachi
    It would make no sense to show still pictures with background music for an entire show.
[01:31] Shinpachi
    It's not good for foreign countries or Japan.
[01:33] Kagura
    Oh give it up, will you?
[01:34] Kagura
    Are you supposed to be a spy for someone, Shinpachi? TV Tokyo? Or Dentsu?
[01:37] Shinachi
    Dah! Don't be so specific!
[01:40] Gintoki
    I understand what the executives meant.
[01:42] Gintoki
    In any case, all we have to do is animate the picture, right?
[01:44] Gintoki
    Then foreign sales won't suffer and the executives will be happy.
[01:47] Gintoki
    Everyone understands this is Japanese anime, right?
[01:49] Shinpachi
    Probably.
[01:50] Gintoki
    All right. Let's get motivated and move the picture around.
[01:53] Gintoki
    Here we go!
[01:54] Shinpachi
    Ohhh!
[02:00] Shinpachi
    Eh...
[03:35] Hatsu
    You're saying work is not all right, but you're doing fine.
[03:39] Hasegawa
    Yeah, kind of.
[03:41] Hasegawa
    I have some savings from my last job, so don't worry about me. I'm all right.
[03:46] Hatsu
    Are you sure? Call me if you have any problems. Are you really all right?
[03:51] Hasegawa
    Y-Yeah, sure. I live in a fairly decent apartment.
[03:55] Hasegawa
    Yeah, it's really stylish.
[03:58] Hatsu
    Really? Then why don't I visit soon and clean up your place?
[04:02] Hasegawa
    No! I don't need you to clean up!
[04:04] Hatsu
    I'm sure your room is full of trash, right?
[04:08] Hasegawa
    I said no! I don't want to bother you.
[04:11] Hatsu
    What? Is there something you don't want me to see?
[04:14] Hasegawa
    I-It's not like that! I keep my room clean! Really!
[04:19] Hatsu
    Then I'm looking forward to it.
[04:21] Hatsu
    I'll see you this weekend.
[04:22] Hasegawa
    Ah, wait!
[04:31] Gintoki
    Hey, I'm jealous!
[04:34] Gintoki
    She said, "Can I come to clean your place?" You got yourself quite a little wife there.
[04:40] Gintoki
    I guess it's about time for you to start over with her.
[04:43] Gintoki
    Why aren't you living together?
[04:44] Gintoki
    I mean, go live in that wonderful house.
SIGN    ["It's Your House, You Build It"]
[04:56] Debt Collector
    Hello, we'd like to talk to you. Hasegawa, you're there, aren't you?
[05:03] ---
    Hasegawa!
SIGN    [Please don't look for me. Hasegawa.]
[05:08] Debt Collecotr
    He already ran off.
[05:13] Hasegawa (M)
    Debt collectors were pounding on my door, and I skipped out.
[05:19] Hasegawa (M)
    That was two weeks ago.
[05:22] Hasegawa (M)
    I was all right the first night.
[05:25] Hasegawa (M)
    I thought I could find a new place easily.
[05:30] Hasegawa (M)
    But...I couldn't find a room for rent anywhere.
[05:35] Hasegawa (M)
    Right, I didn't pay my debts or rent. I kept doing those kinds of things.
[05:41] Hasegawa (M)
    So my name wound up on the real estate black list. Those guys don't mess around.
[05:47] Hasegawa (M)
    Nobody will lend me money anymore.
[05:50] Hasegawa (M)
    No real estate company will rent me an apartment.
[05:54] Hasegawa (M)
    There's no place for me to go here in Kabukicho.
[06:00] Hasegawa (M)
    I thought I'd be homeless for just one day.
[06:04] Hasegawa (M)
    But...
[06:06] Hasegawa
    Now I'm like... like this.
[06:09] Gintoki
    But I think you're looking better than ever.
[06:12] Gintoki
    Dog...
[06:13] Gintoki
    radio...
[06:14] Gintoki
    cardboard box.
[06:15] Gintoki
    You're completely covered by the Three Sacred Treasures of the homeless.
[06:19] Gintoki
    You've finally found your lifetime job.
[06:21] Hasegawa
    I don't have a lifetime job. I have no job.
[06:24] Gintoki
    You can change your job in FF3, but the first job, Onion Knight, is the strongest.
[06:31] Gintoki
    It's always the same.
[06:32] Hasegawa
    Are you trying to cheer me up? Or do you want me to kick you around?
[06:35] Hasegawa
    How could you say I'm like Onion Knight?
[06:37] Gintoki
    You smell like a rotten onion.
[06:39] Hasegawa
    That was a critical hit.
[06:41] Hasegawa
    No!
[06:43] Hasegawa
    I need a place to stay so I can restore my hit points!
[06:46] Hasegawa
    I can't restore my hit points in a cardboard box!
[06:49] Hasegawa
    What should I do?
[06:51] Hasegawa
    If Hatsu sees me like this, we'll never reconcile our differences. And she'll leave me.
[06:56] Gintoki
    I'd say you have no one to blame but yourself.
[06:57] Hasegawa
    I have to do something by this weekend!
[06:59] Hasegawa
    I need to find a stylish place, even if it's just for the weekend!
[07:02] Hasegawa
    Can you help me, Gin?
[07:04] Hasegawa
    I'm sure your name is already on the black list, maybe even in the Death Note.
[07:10] Gintoki
    Oh, yeah. I'll put your name in my Death Note, then.
[07:14] Gintoki
    See ya.
[07:15] Hasegawa
    Hey, wait! Wait!
SIGN    [Real Estate]
[07:21] Fudo
    Taizo Hasegawa: 38 years old.
[07:24] ---
    Occupation: Onion Knight.
[07:29] Fudo
    Um, excuse me, but I have to ask... What is it you do as an Onion Knight?
[07:34] Fudo
    I just can't remember.
[07:35] Fudo
    I think I met someone once a long time ago who said he was an Onion Knight.
[07:39] Hasegawa
    Um... Well...
[07:42] Gintok
    It's a job that involves fermenting onions.
[07:44] Fudo
    I see. It's kind of like making wine and doing this and doing that, right?
[07:48] Hasegawa
    Oh, yes. Something like that.
[07:51] Fudo
    Oh, I know. I saw that on TV. I think it was on that show Professionals.
[07:57] Hasegawa
    What?
[07:59] Fudo
    No, it wasn't on Professional.
[08:01] ---
    That was Music something or other.
[08:04] Hasegawa
    Music?
[08:10] Fudo
    Oh? Does it look like I'm lying?
[08:12] Fudo
    You think I'm lying? I really know what it is.
[08:15] Hasegawa
    No! I believe you!
[08:17] Fudo
    No, you don't. I noticed some momentary bad feelings between us.
[08:22] Fudo
    Shoot, if my wife were still alive, she could prove it for me.
[08:28] Fudo
    She passed away one year ago. Darn it.
[08:32] Hasegawa
    Well, I think I've already heard enough about it.
[08:35] Wife
    Hey, old man! The laundry detergent is running out.
[08:37] Wife
    Can you get some real quick?
[08:39] Fudo
    I'm working right now! I'm going to kill you, old hag!
[08:42] Wife
    Shut up and die, stupid, old man!
[08:48] Fudo
    Well, I'll show you some properties. Let's go.
[08:52] Hasegawa
    Oh, yes.
[08:54] Hasegawa
    Hey, he's going to show me some properties just like that.
[08:57] Hasegawa
    Doesn't he have a black list?
[09:00] Hasegawa
    Anyway, the old guy seems a little nutty. Who is he?
[09:03] Gintoki
    They call him...
[09:04] Gintoki
    ...the Messiah of Kabukicho. His name is Sanzo Fudo.
[09:04] Fudo
    Um...this isn't it, and so this is... Oh, well.
[09:09] Gintoki
    There're a lot of bums like you in town.
[09:13] Gintoki
    Some are chased, and some have a guilty conscience.
[09:17] Gintoki
    They're all in an abyss of misery.
[09:20] Gintoki
    There's a real estate agent who gives them a helping hand and a place to stay.
[09:25] Gintoki
    Fudo is the kind of person who would offer people a place to stay,
[09:29] Gintoki
    no matter who they were, just like a Messiah.
[09:32] Hasegawa
    Those who are alive.
[09:34] Fudo
    Excuse me, but can you tell me where this property is?
[09:39] Hasegawa
    Well, I think he's just not being choosy enough for his clients, right?
[09:43] Hasegawa
    That old man seems careless.
[09:47] Hasegawa
    I'm glad that he'll show us some properties, but I'm a little anxious as well.
[09:51] Fudo
    Hasegawa.
[09:52] Fudo
    Do you have any specific requests for a place?
[09:56] Hasegawa
    Well, yeah... First, the cheapest is the best.
[10:00] Hasegawa
    And it's better if it's fancy.
[10:03] Gintoki
    Don't expect much.
[10:05] Gintoki
    Don't forget about your situation right now, Onion Knight.
[10:08] ---
    It's enough that there's a roof over your head when it rains.
[10:11] Hasegawa
    But Hatsu is coming.
[10:13] Gintoki
    Let's try something cheap, a 1LDK.
SIGN    [1LDK: 1 bedroom, 1 Living room, and 1 Dining Kitchen]
[10:17] Fudo
    1LDK?
[10:18] Gintoki
    Yeah, it's enough for a single man.
[10:22] Fudo
    R-Right. I think a single man needs...1WGTM.
[10:29] Gintoki
    Huh? What did you just say?
[10:30] Fudo
    O-One...3P would be perfect!
[10:34] Gintoki
    No, we're not talking about a 3P!
[10:42] Fudo
    I know that. But I'm getting old, so it's hard to speak in loan words.
[10:46] Fudo
    Don't worry, I understand your request and I'll take you.
[10:50] Fudo
    Well, I guess this should satisfy you.
SIGN    [犬(One)LDK [Dog 犬 pronounced "one" in Japanese]
[10:54] Hasegawa
    That's not a 1LDK!
[10:56] Hasegawa
    Why do I have to live in such a filthy dog house?!
[10:59] Hasegawa
    Don't you really know what 1LDK means?
[11:01] Fudo
    Of course, I know.
[11:02] Fudo
    I just thought that was a good doghouse for Hasegawa's dirty mutt.
[11:06] Hasegawa
    That's none of your business!
[11:08] Fudo
    Come on, don't get me wrong.
[11:11] Fudo
    There's no way that a real estate agent doesn't know what 1LDK means.
[11:14] Fudo
    That's a common term. We use it a lot.
[11:17] Gintoki
    Why don't you use it then?
[11:19] Fudo
    Let's see... We'll use it after we come back from our trip.
[11:27] Fudo
    Man, 1LDK is the best!
[11:30] Gintoki
    No way! We'll just say, "My home is the best."
[11:32] Gintoki
    Why do you bother replacing it with a complicated word like "1LDK"?
[11:36] Fudo
    I'm sorry. To tell you the truth, my 1LDK went back to her parents' house.
[11:41] Gintoki
    What are you talking about, 1LDK went back to her parents' house?"
[11:44] Gintoki
    A 1LDK is a place, not a person!
[11:45] Hasegawa
    Um...Can you show us some other properties?
[11:49] Gintoki
    He doesn't care about a 1LDK anyway, only rent. Cheaper is better.
[11:54] Fudo
    Is that right? I'm not sure if 1LDK will come back.
[11:59] Fudo
    Is that all right with you?
[11:59] Gintoki
    What kind of 1LDK are you talking about?!
[12:02] Fudo
    How about this property?
[12:06] Gintoki
    It looks good to me.
[12:08] Hasegawa
    I'd prefer something more stylish.
[12:11] Fudo
    I knew you were going to say that. Don't worry.
[12:14] Fudo
    This isn't the one I wanted to show you.
[12:17] Fudo
    This one.
[12:18] Hasegawa
    Another doghouse?!
[12:20] Fudo
    No, this is completely different from the last one. This one is more stylish.
[12:25] ---
    Look!
[12:26] Fudo
    It has can badges!
[12:27] Hasegawa
    No thanks! I don't need those kinds of accessories!
[12:30] Hasegawa
    Anyway, why are can badges on a doghouse?
[12:32] Gintoki
    What? I bet you don't know what a 1LDK is, do you?
[12:35] Fudo
    That's not right...I said 1LDK is not here.
[12:39] Hasegawa
    Stop it! I can't live in that kind of place!
[12:42] Hasegawa
    That's not even a house for people! Show me a place for people!
[12:47] Fudo
    I see. That's what you wanted. Now I know.
[12:52] Fudo
    Why didn't you tell me that in the beginning?
[12:55] Fudo
    I'm confident in myself with this place.
[12:59] Hasegawa
    What kind of confidence are you talking about?!
[13:01] Hasegawa
    That's enough! This is just a doghouse!
[13:04] Hasegawa
    It's not even close to a 1LDK. Did you hear what I said?
[13:08] Fudo
    Yes, I did. Look over there!
[13:15] Fudo
    See. A person lives there.
[13:17] Hasegawa
    That's not the point!
[13:18] Hasegawa
    That's not right! I'm a useless, old man.
[13:21] Hasegawa
    And I'm a bit of a masochist, but I didn't come here today to play!
[13:24] Hasegawa
    I'm just looking for a place to live! I can't live in this kind of place!
[13:28] Hasegawa
    Why are you getting shy? I'm not your master!
[13:32] ---
    No one's trying to turn you on!
[13:39] Gintoki
    Well, do you have anything a bit better?
[13:43] Fudo
    All right. In fact, I've got the perfect place for an Onion Knight like you.
[13:49] Hasegawa
    Are you sure this time?
[13:53] Gintoki
    Almost.
[13:54] Hasegawa
    Aren't you going to point it out?
[13:55] Gintoki
    Well, there's some truth in what you meant. I admit it.
[13:59] Hasegawa
    Gin, please don't!
[14:02] Gintoki
    I know Hasegawa isn't really an Onion Knight, but a Dark Knight.
[14:05] ---
    His job is more like a cockroach knight.
[14:08] Hasegawa
    I said I didn't have a job.
[14:09] Gintoki
    And we'll stop being choosy, so please show us a normal and cheap property.
[14:14] Fudo
    All right. Then let me show you a good one. How about that one?
[14:19] Gintoki
    What?
[14:20] Gintoki
    Are you listening to us?!
[14:23] Fudo
    This is one of the best apartments among my high-end properties.
[14:29] Gintoki
    I said, "Are you listening to me?"
[14:31] Fudo
    This one is always popular and occupied.
[14:34] Fudo
    But it just now became available. You're really lucky!
[14:38] Fudo
    And the monthly fee is only three million yen. This is a really rare opportunity.
[14:43] Gintoki
    I don't need it, but give me a chance to throw some poop on your face instead.
[14:47] Fudo
    All right. How about 30,000 yen with a discount instead?
[14:50] Hasegawa
    Wh-What?
[14:51] Fudo
    They both have "3", so 30,000 yen is a deal.
[14:54] Hasegawa
    What kind of random reason do you have for that kind of discount? It's a 99% discount!
[14:56] Hasegawa
    What? Are you angry? Or maybe you've snapped? Or you're desperate?
[15:00] Fudo
    Actually, the last tenant suddenly left because of his job.
[15:06] Fudo
    So, the household effects are still there. And the place wasn't cleaned up.
[15:09] Fudo
    If you'll dispose or take care of those things, I'll give you the discounted price of 30,000 yen for rent.
[15:14] Hasegawa
    Really? Are you sure? That's all I have to do to live here?
[15:17] Hasegawa
    No problem! We'll take care of it!
[15:18] Hasegawa
    We'll use all the household effects. It's a great benefit to us!
[15:21] Hasegawa
    I'm sure Hatsu will be happy.
[15:23] Fudo
    That's good.
SIGN    [NOBORU]
[15:41] Fudo
    Well, it's a little bit dirty, as I said. Good luck.
[15:48] Hasegawa
    For what?!
[15:50] Hasegawa
    Whoa! This...is...
[15:51] ---
    O-Obviously...this was the scene of a murder!
[15:55] Hasegawa
    By "disposal," does he mean dispose of everything at the murder site?!
[15:58] Hasegawa
    And "take care"? Does he mean getting involved in a murder?
[16:01] Gintoki
    Oh, this is a great view. I bet the view at night is wonderful.
[16:06] Hasegawa
    Why are you so blasé? Look at the mess we're in!
[16:09] Gintoki
    What are you so excited about? Can you tell me where the murder took place?
[16:14] Hasegawa
    The blood is all over the place!
[16:16] Hasegawa
    I wouldn't be surprised if that kid from Case Closed barged in right about now!
[16:19] Gintoki
    Eh? Is this blood? I thought this was a custom-painted wall.
[16:23] Hasegawa
    It can't be! It's so disgusting!
[16:25] Fudo
    Hasegawa, please calm down.
[16:27] Fudo
    You said this was a crime scene? Something like that happens only in a TV drama.
[16:31] Fudo
    I think this place was probably used for gutting a tuna or something.
[16:35] Hasegawa
    That sounds even less likely! Why did a tuna have to be gutted here?
[16:39] Hasegawa
    Moreover, why did the tuna write a dying message?
[16:41] Gintoki
    What? This is not a dying message.
[16:44] Gintoki
    So somebody's practicing their calligraphy?
[16:46] Gintoki
    It splattered around the room after it worked hard to write NOBORU.
[16:50] Hasegawa
    That's pretty painstaking work!
[16:52] Gintoki
    Anyway, don't worry about it.
[16:54] Hasegawa
    About what?
[16:55] Gintoki
    Even if they were murdered, it's no big deal.
[16:57] Hasegawa
    Yes, it is! You sound like this is someone else's problem.
[17:00] Hasegawa
    I can't live in a place where there was a murder.
[17:03] Gintoki
    It doesn't matter what happened in the past. Now is more important.
[17:07] Hasegawa
    True. There's blood everywhere now... that's what I'm really concerned about.
[17:10] Gintoki
    Hasegawa, rooms and women are the same.
[17:13] Gintoki
    Listen to me.
[17:15] Gintoki
    Most pretty girls have already been "done" by some stupid guy at their middle school
[17:18] Gintoki
    or high school before we ever meet them.
[17:20] Hasegawa
    What are you talking about?!
[17:22] Gintoki
    Let's say there's a girl who was unpolished and innocent when she entered school,
[17:26] ---
    but after summer vacation, she's got dyed hair and ear piercings.
[17:32] Hasegawa
    Again, what are you talking about?!
[17:33] Gintoki
    I'm positive about it. During summer vacation, she met some loser.
[17:38] Gintoki
    In summer, she had so much fun that she was taken advantage of.
[17:39] Hasegawa
    Hey! I really don't understand what you're trying to tell me!
[17:43] Gintoki
    But even so, would you ask her about it?
[17:48] Gintoki
    You wouldn't, right?
[17:50] Gintoki
    You would just keep it in your mind.
[17:52] Gintoki
    You'd like to ask her, "What happened to you during summer?"
[17:55] Gintoki
    No, you wouldn't. Because you know she'll hate you if you ask.
[17:59] Gintoki
    It'd be a turn-off for her.
[18:01] Gintoki
    That's right. When we meet women, we already know those kinds of things.
[18:07] Gintoki
    And it's the same for rooms.
[18:09] Gintoki
    In general, a good room has been "done" already!
[18:13] Hasegawa
    What do you mean that the room has been "done?"
[18:16] Gintoki
    And if you have to inquire about the history of every room you find,
[18:18] Gintoki
    you shouldn't bother!
[18:21] Fudo
    Good grief.
[18:24] Fudo
    I've been working in the real estate business for over 50 years and I never...
[18:29] Fudo
    I never thought that I would meet someone who really cared about a room.
[18:33] Hasegawa
    Why are you crying? Did any part of that story make you cry?
[18:38] Fudo
    He's exactly right. The nice rooms are all tainted.
[18:42] Fudo
    Most likely a murder happened there.
[18:44] Hasegawa
    You liar! I have never heard anything like that!
[18:46] Fudo
    I think it's something like the magic of the room.
[18:49] Fudo
    The room is not just for a space to live in, but also a place to catch a person's soul.
[18:54] Fudo
    As a matter of fact, this is a problem room.
[18:58] Fudo
    Seven people have already died in here.
[19:02] Hasegawa
    What?!
[19:03] Fudo
    I don't know what the cause was,
[19:06] Fudo
    but the people who lived here started attacking each other all of a sudden,
[19:08] Fudo
    and died soon after.
[19:10] Hasegawa
    Hey, you! Why did you show me such a bad place?!
[19:13] Hasegawa
    In fact, you were even trying to charge me rent!
[19:15] Fudo
    I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it.
[19:17] Fudo
    I just felt sorry for this room. Everybody thinks it's cursed.
[19:23] Fudo
    The room works out well when occupied.
[19:26] Fudo
    Even if it's a great room, it's just like a hole unless someone lives there.
[19:30] Fudo
    I know some people call me a Messiah because I save all kinds of people.
[19:36] Fudo
    But I don't deserve it.
[19:40] Fudo
    I just wanted to turn all these dumps into real rooms.
[19:48] Fudo
    I'm so glad that you'll become a real room soon.
[19:53] Fudo
    Here it is.
[19:55] Fudo
    I want to give this to you. You can use this room however you want.
[20:01] Fudo
    It's totally up to you how you use this room.
[20:05] Fudo
    I hope you'll...
[20:11] Gintoki
    I don't think I deserve this offer.
[20:13] Gintoki
    I think this room will be happy when a person who needs a place lives here.
[20:20] Hasegawa
    Well, I think a man who takes good care of the room should live here.
[20:25] Hasegawa
    It'll make the room happy.
[20:28] Fudo
    I want you to take this.
[20:31] Gintoki
    I already heard that.
[20:35] Hasegawa
    It's not nice to hand it to me and say, "I already heard that"?
[20:39] Fudo
    Sir...
[20:40] Gintoki
    This is the third time.
[20:41] Hasegawa
    No!
[20:47] Fudo
    Enough! I told you I wanted to give it to you. Just take it already!
[20:51] Gintoki
    Who wants such a creepy room?!
[20:53] Gintoki
    You can't get rid of it by giving it to someone who's a nuisance! It's not fair!
[20:55] Hasegawa
    But you're talking about something totally different.
[20:57] Hasegawa
    Just take it. You said, "It doesn't matter what happened in the past." Didn't you?!
[20:59] Gintoki
    Right from the start, it was your fault because you don't have a job!
[21:02] Gintoki
    So, accept the responsibility and just die here!
[21:05] Fudo
    Take it!
[21:06] Gintoki
    No!
[21:08] Hasegawa
    I don't want it, either!
[21:09] ---
    Just take it
[21:22] Voice
    Ki...Kill...
[21:27] Voice
    Kill...Kill...
[21:31] Voice
    Kill...Kill...
SIGN    [A couple of days later]
[21:49] Hatsu
    Oh, my! This is a really great apartment.
[21:52] Hatsu
    I wonder how he got the money to afford this kind of place?
[21:58] Hatsu
    He didn't do anything fancy, like sending an invitation without a return address...
[22:05] Hatsu
    Um, oh, here it is.
[22:09] Hatsu
    Hello! I came to clean up.
[22:15] Voice
    Ki...Kill...
[22:18] Voice
    Kill...Kill...
SIGN    [NOBORU]
SIGN    
SIGN    People say that your heart grows fonder when you don't see your sweetheart for a long time.
SIGN    I just noticed that he left me for three months.
SIGN    Although the show is in its third year, I've only been in three episodes.
SIGN    I'm in the preview right now, or is it only my imagination?
[24:16] Gintoki
    Tune in next time for
[24:16] Gintoki
    "99 Percent of Men Aren't Confident in Confessing Their Love"
SIGN    [And also: "People Who Don't Believe In Santa Are The Very Ones Who Want To Believe, You Contentious Bastard"]
SIGN    [Next week we'll give you two episodes and act like nothing happened this week.]