E131 - Fights Often Ensue During Trips

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Otose
    Yes, I know.
[00:04] Otose
    They should be arriving shortly. Yes, we're all busy.
SIGN    [A request from me, Otose.]
SIGN    [Please turn on the lights and keep your distance from the television when watching the show.]
[00:10] Otose
    Don't worry. The one thing I can guarantee is that they're a lively bunch.
[00:15] ---
    But how are things on your side?
[00:18] Okami
    Oh, the usual. Everything's the same as before on this side.
[00:24] Okami
    Really, nothing's changed at all...
[00:29] Okami
    since the old days.
[00:38] Past Okami
    All right, let's work hard again today!
[00:42] Husband (Tagosaku)
    Heh, you're awfully energetic.
[00:43] Past Okami
    Well, of course.
[00:45] Past Okami
    We have to do our best every day so that our customers are satisfied.
[00:50] Husband (Tagosaku)
    Well, don't overdo it. If anything should happen to you, this inn will...
[00:54] Past Okami
    It will all be okay.
[00:57] Past Okami
    Because you promised me, right?
[01:02] Husband (Tagosaku)
    Yeah, that's right.
[01:05] Past Okami
    Now let's go, Rei.
[01:07] Rei
    Okay!
[01:11] Husband (Tagosaku)
    It's a promise.
[01:13] Husband (Tagosaku)
    I'll protect this inn...and you.
[03:10] Shinpachi
    We're pretty deep in the mountains.
[03:13] Gintoki
    According to the old lady, it's a hidden hot spring known only to a few.
[03:17] Otae
    The hot springs are all booked up during this time of year.
[03:20] ---
    It's like a dream to be able to spend our winter break resting and
[03:23] ---
    relaxing in the baths at a place like this.
[03:24] Shinpachi
    Otose knows the Okami, so she was able to get us rooms.
[03:30] Otose
    Go spend some time relaxing in the baths for a change.
[03:34] Shinpachi
    I gotta say, Mrs. Otose can be nice sometimes.
[03:37] Gintoki
    I have a bad feeling about this.
[03:40] Gintoki
    When that old hag does something like this, there's usually a catch.
[03:45] Shinpachi
    When you can't accept someone's goodwill with an open heart, it's over for you.
SIGN    ["Fights Often Ensue During Trips"]
[04:08] Otae
    I wonder if we took the wrong road.
[04:11] Otae
    There's just this dilapidated old building.
[04:12] Kagura
    Shinpachi, can't you even read a map?
[04:15] Shinpachi
    That's strange. It's supposed to be right here.
[04:18] Shinpachi
    Let's see... It's called Senbokyo, right?
[04:22] Shinpachi
    Huh? This sign?
SIGN    [Welcome to the Senbokyo Hot Springs]
[04:25] Shinpachi
    Doesn't it say Senbokyo?
[04:27] Shinpachi
    The paint seems to have run and it looks all eerie, but...
[04:31] ---
    I think...this is the place.
[04:33] ---
    This is a picture of an old man taking a soak.
[04:36] Gintoki
    Are you kidding?! We're supposed to stay in this rundown inn?
[04:39] ---
    I mean, is this place really open? I don't see any signs of people.
[04:44] Otae
    We'll go look for someone. Let's go, Kagura.
[04:47] Gintoki
    Hey hey, give me a break! This is definitely a haunted house.
[04:52] Gintoki
    It's really creepy. Why are there so many crows flying around?
[04:56] Shinpachi
    I don't have spiritual powers or anything, but it feels sorta, you know.
[05:01] Gintoki
    What do you mean, "you know"?
[05:03] Shinpachi
    Never mind.
[05:04] Gintoki
    Cut it out, will you? I mean really.
[05:08] Gintoki
    Hey, there's someone. An employee?
[05:11] Gintoki
    Excuse me! Mrs. Terada from Edo referred us here.
[05:15] Gintoki
    Excuse me!
[05:18] Gintoki
    Maybe she can't hear.
[05:20] Gintoki
    That hurts!
[05:22] Shinpachi
    G-Gin ... That person...
[05:25] Shinpachi
    She's walking on the snow, yet...
[05:28] Shinpachi
    there are...no footprints.
[05:39] Gintoki
    Wh-Wh-What's going on?!
[05:42] Gintoki
    Was that a ghost? Huh? A ghost?!
[05:45] ---
    No way! Not in broad daylight!
[05:49] ---
    No way! Absolutely not! No way, I won't allow it! I absolutely won't allow it!
[05:53] Shinpachi
    Please calm down, Gin!
[05:55] Shinpachi
    Pr-Probably when you're this deep in the mountains,
[05:58] Shinpachi
    there's so much snow that it freezes over and you don't leave footprints.
[06:02] Gintoki
    Oh, you're right. That must be it.
[06:05] ---
    No way! No way, absolutely not!
[06:06] ---
    I won't allow it! I absolutely won't allow it!
[06:08] Shinpachi
    But she acted a bit strange, didn't she?
[06:10] Shinpachi
    She didn't hear your voice and...
[06:12] ---
    Didn't she sorta look semi-transparent?
[06:14] Gintoki
    Hey, cut it out, will you?! I said there's no way!
[06:18] ---
    What's wrong with being semi-transparent?
[06:19] ---
    Even grocery bags these days are semi-transparent!
[06:22] ---
    So there must be people who are semi-transparent, too!
[06:24] Gintoki
    What? Are you scared? Don't tell me you're scared?!
[06:28] ---
    Well, it's okay. If you insist, we can go home. Wanna go home?
[06:32] Shinpachi
    You're the one who wants to go home!
[06:35] Shinpachi
    Besides, even if we wanted to go home,
[06:36] Shinpachi
    there's only one bus that passes through this place each day.
[06:40] Shinpachi
    We have no choice but to spend the night.
[06:44] Gintoki
    Let's stop this already.
[06:45] ---
    We're here at a hot springs inn. And look at us.
[06:48] ---
    We're over-imagining things. Let's try to brighten up and enjoy this.
[06:52] Shinpachi
    You're right. It's our imagination.
[06:55] Shinpachi
    Sorry, if I said things to scare you, Gin.
[06:58] Gintoki
    I don't know why you're apologizing.
[07:00] ---
    Scared? What's that? Tell me how that feels!
[07:04] Kagura
    Gin! We found the Okami!
[07:06] Shinpachi
    Oh, that's good. See, Gin, they're open for business.
[07:10] Shinpachi
    There's nothing wrong with this place.
[07:12] Okami
    I'm so sorry.
[07:14] Okami
    You arrived already? Thank you for coming so far.
[07:23] Okami
    Welcome. I am the Okami, Oiwa.
[07:32] Gintoki (M)
    Huh? Which is the Okami? Huh, which one?
[07:37] Okami
    I'm sorry I was late to welcome you.
[07:40] ---
    I run this place all alone, so...
[07:44] Shinpachi
    Umm...no, there is someone else.
[07:46] Shinpachi (M)
    There's definitely someone behind you.
[07:48] Shinpachi (M)
    Someone who's semi-transparent!
[07:50] Gintoki (M)
    Hey! What is that?!
[07:52] ---
    She's carrying something on her back! Is it a baby?
[07:54] ---
    It's a baby, right?! Please say it is!
[07:56] Shinpachi (M)
    That's what I'd like to think!
[07:57] Shinpachi (M)
    But it's semi-transparent! It's really semi-transparent!
[08:00] Gintoki (M)
    So, what's wrong with being semi-transparent?!
[08:01] ---
    In this day and age, even politicians are semi-transparent!
[08:04] ---
    They're all involved in shady deals and graft!
[08:06] ---
    So there's bound to be a semi-transparent baby!
[08:07] Shinpachi (M)
    But it's strange. Sister and Kagura aren't reacting at all!
[08:09] Kagura
    The place isn't so bad. This is my first time at a Hot Springs.
[08:12] ---
    Anyone would react upon seeing a baby like that!
[08:13] Otae
    Oh, really?
[08:15] Kagura
    I'm going to get my skin all smooth!
[08:17] Shinpachi (M)
    They don't see it. We're the only ones!
[08:23] Shinpachi (M)
    I didn't believe in spirits...
[08:26] Shinpachi (M)
    But that is a ghost! The Okami is totally possessed by a spirit!
[08:30] Shinpachi (M)
    No, it's not only the Okami. What I saw earlier...
[08:35] Shinpachi (M)
    Isn't this hot spring inn like super dangerous?!
[08:40] Gintoki
    Don't be ridiculous!
[08:42] ---
    A ghost inn?! Impossible.
[08:44] Gintoki
    No way. Absolutely not.
[08:46] Gintoki
    I will not acknowledge that! I absolutely refuse to believe that!
[08:48] Shinpachi
    Then how do you explain that thing on the Okami?
[08:52] Gintoki
    Well... I thought it couldn't be...
[08:55] ---
    but I think my hunch is right.
[08:58] ---
    That Okami...
SIGN    [We named it "Stand" from it being Stand by me!]
[09:01] Gintoki
    is a  Stand User.
SIGN    [No way!]
[09:04] Shinpachi
    How can there be a Stand like that, you idiot?!
[09:06] Gintoki
    No matter how you look at it, that's a Stand.
[09:08] ---
    I mean, basically, we're Stand Users too.
[09:10] ---
    That's why we were able to see the Okami's Stand.
[09:13] Shinpachi
    Hold on! Since when did we become Stand users?!
[09:17] Gintoki
    I usually hide it. But you always show your Stand.
[09:20] Gintoki
    That thing hanging on your ear!
[09:21] Shinpachi
    That's just a spectacles user!
[09:23] ---
    "That thing hanging on your ear"?!
[09:25] ---
    You know full well what it is. They're spectacles!
[09:27] Gintoki
    Oh, you call that Stand "Spectacles"?
[09:30] Shinpachi
    He's pissing me off. This guy is so pissing me off.
[09:33] ---
    Are you that determined to disavow the existence of a spirit? You're pitiful!
[09:36] Shinpachi
    I mean, take a look at that!
[09:40] Shinpachi
    Huh? The spirit is gone.
[09:42] Gintoki
    It wasn't a spirit. That was a Stand!
[09:44] Shinpachi
    Huh, where'd it go?
[09:47] Gintoki
    Hey, maybe it was an illusion?
[09:50] Shinpachi
    Are you saying that we were so scared that we saw something that really wasn't there?
[09:56] Shinpachi
    Well, let's leave it at that.
[09:58] ---
    I don't have the guts to acknowledge such a presence, and then spend the night here.
[10:01] Gintoki
    You're right. It was just an illusion.
[10:04] ---
    It was a demon that our weak minds conjured up.
[10:08] Gintoki
    We'd better shape up. We're samurai. How shameful!
[10:11] Shinpachi
    Yes. We can't get lackadaisical just because we've come to a hot springs inn.
[10:15] ---
    Samurai must always be upright and alert!
[10:18] Okami
    The rooms are quite small.
[10:22] Okami
    It's tough for four people, so I prepared two rooms.
[10:25] ---
    Which do you prefer? Japanese-style or western-style rooms?
[10:28] Kagura
    You have western-style rooms?
[10:30] Otae
    Sleeping on a bed would be nice for a change.
[10:33] Gintoki
    Japanese style!
[10:34] Shinpachi
    We're samurai, after all!
[10:35] Okami
    Yes, fine.
[10:36] ---
    You samurai will be...
[10:39] Okami
    ...in this room.
[10:43] Gintoki (M)
    The room is sealed!
[10:45] ---
    Those are clear signs that some giant beast has been sealed inside!
[10:48] Gintoki (M)
    What's going on?! Just what happened inside this room?!
[10:50] Shinpachi (M)
    This is bad. There is something definitely strange about this inn!
[10:53] Okami
    The young ladies are over this way.
[10:56] Shinpachi
    Err, excuse me! Can we change to western-style?
[11:01] Okami
    Huh?! But you're samurai.
[11:02] Gintoki
    Well, actually fake samurai... as in, sham-urai.
[11:07] Okami
    But the ladies took that room.
[11:10] ---
    Why? Is there something you didn't like?
[11:13] Shinpachi
    Well, rather than didn't like...
[11:14] ---
    The sliding doors...
[11:16] Okami
    Oh, you didn't like the design of this door?
[11:19] Shinpachi
    Design? This is the design?!
[11:22] Okami
    Well, there was a time when I was really into rock.
[11:27] Shinpachi
    Rock?! This is punk rock?
[11:29] Okami
    My name, Oiwa, means rock, you know?
[11:33] Okami
    And these things were all the rage back then. Even I was young at one time.
[11:38] Gintoki
    It's not "rock." It's something different. More like "lock."
SIGN    [The seals have writing like "forbidden," "taboo," "dangerous," etc.]
[11:43] Okami
    Oh! Could it be these seals are bothering you?
[11:46] Shinpachi
    Huh? Umm, yes.
[11:49] Okami
    Oh, come on!
[11:51] ---
    Is that it? Oh no. These are different.
[11:56] Okami
    Well, these are... I hate to admit this to you as the Okami...
[12:01] ---
    But a guest with a child stayed here before.
[12:05] ---
    And the child misbehaved and put holes in the sliding doors.
[12:11] Gintoki
    Oh! Is that it? So these are to hide the holes?
[12:16] Okami
    Shh! This is a secret. You must not tell anyone!
[12:20] Gintoki
    Is that all? You should have just told us sooner.
[12:24] ---
    We imagined the worst, Okami!
[12:26] Okami
    This is no laughing matter. It was really terrible with holes everywhere.
[12:30] Okami
    I taught the boy a lesson after that, for one hour.
[12:39] Okami
    Really, I shouldn't have been so harsh on him over a few holes in the sliding door.
[12:46] Gintoki/Shinpachi (M)
    Full turn left!
[12:50] Kagura
    Hey! How dare you barge into a lady's room?!
[12:54] Otae
    Wh-What's this commotion all about?
[12:58] ---
    Did something happen?
[13:00] Shinpachi
    Gin! All clear! I don't see it anywhere.
[13:04] Gintoki
    Okay!
[13:06] Gintoki
    Please! Change rooms with us!
[13:09] Otae
    Huh?
[13:10] Gintoki
    I have this sudden urge to stay in a western-style room!
[13:13] ---
    We're not samurai or anything, merely pigs!
[13:16] Gintoki
    Hey? This is western-style? Didn't you ask for a western-style room?
[13:23] ---
    This is a Japanese-style room.
[13:25] Otae
    Yes, we asked for one.
[13:27] Otae
    But when we entered, we found this Japanese-style room.
[13:30] ---
    I don't know what's western about it.
[13:31] Kagura
    Now you know, so leave!
[13:33] Kagura
    It's small in here and you're crowding us. There is no western-style room!
[13:44] Shinpachi (M)
    W-Western-style room ...
[13:46] Gintoki
    ...as in that kind?!
[13:47] Gintoki
    Why?! Why's there a foreigner Stand over there?! I don't understand!
[13:52] Shinpachi
    What's with this inn?! This place is full of Stands!
[13:57] Otae
    What are you shouting about? Stand?
[14:01] Shinpachi
    Oh, sorry. It's just something between us.
[14:04] Gintoki
    You're better off not knowing about some things in the world.
[14:07] Kagura
    There seems to be something up.
[14:10] Otae
    Don't try to hide it. Tell me. We'll hear you out.
[14:15] Otae
    Nothing you say will shock me.
[14:22] Gintoki/Shinpachi
    Oh, well...
[14:25] Okami
    Refreshment time!
[14:28] Okami
    Here you go. I brought you an afternoon snack.
[14:32] Otae
    Oh, thank you very much! But don't trouble yourself.
[14:36] Okami
    Oh no, I want you to stay and relax. Think of this as your own home.
[14:41] Okami
    Oh, I prepared the bath, so go and soak anytime.
[14:45] Otae
    Yes, thank you.
[14:50] Okami
    If you say anything, I'll kill you.
[15:23] Shinpachi (M)
    Th-The Okami!
[15:25] Gintoki (M)
    Wh-What's the meaning of this?!
[15:28] Gintoki (M)
    Who is that old hag?!
[15:29] Shinpachi (M)
    She knows! That Okami knows all about this!
[15:33] Gintoki (M)
    Not only that! She was feeding the Stand those peanuts!
[15:37] ---
    Man, we've come to a crazy place!
[15:42] Gintoki (M)
    This hot springs inn...
[15:44] Gintoki (M)
    is swarming with those evil spirits nurtured by that old hag.
[15:47] Gintoki (M)
    It's a hot spring inn of death!
[15:55] ---
    No way!
[15:55] Kagura
    Gin! Shinpachi!
[15:57] Gintoki
    We're leaving! We must get off this mountain immediately!
[16:01] ---
    If we stick around here, we'll end up as fodder for the ghosts for sure!
[16:05] Gintoki
    Never mind waiting for the bus! We'll make a run for it now!
[16:07] Shinpachi
    Right!
[16:13] Voice
    Hey! Is there anyone on that side?
[16:16] Voice
    Looks like there's been a landslide and the road is blocked.
[16:20] ---
    You won't be able to come down the mountain for a while.
[16:23] Voice
    Well, there should be a hot springs inn over there,
[16:26] Voice
    so ask them to put you up there.
[16:29] ---
    There are rumors that it's haunted, though.
[16:34] ---
    Huh? Why aren't you laughing, too?
[16:38] ---
    I'm just joking!
[17:02] Otae
    Isn't it such a nice bath?
[17:04] Otae
    This inn looked so old, I was worried at first.
[17:07] ---
    But it's quite nice. Its age is beginning to appeal to me.
[17:12] Kagura
    I like the fact that there's no other guests.
[17:15] Kagura
    It's like we have the whole place to ourselves.
[17:16] ---
    We can do whatever we like. I can pee in the water and no one will scold me.
[17:20] Otae
    I will scold you.
[17:22] Otae
    And it seems we're not the only guests.
[17:31] Kagura
    Kondo, you're here too?!
[17:33] Otae
    No, you're wrong, Kagura.
[17:35] ---
    The monkeys came from the mountain to soak in the baths.
[17:39] ---
    Maybe they're females who want nice, smooth skin?
[17:42] Kagura
    They're hairy, sneaky ones.
[17:45] ---
    Only their butts are smooth.
[17:47] Otae
    Well, it's still a nice hot spring.
[17:50] ---
    Gin, how are you doing on your side?
[17:56] Otae
    Huh? I wonder if something happened?
[17:58] Kagura
    Gin! Shinpachi! Did you guys get dizzy from a long bath?!
[18:02] Gintoki
    There...are so...many.
[18:06] Otae
    Oh, you mean there are monkeys on your side too?
[18:09] Gintoki
    No. They're really strange.
[18:13] Kagura
    What's the matter?! Are you surrounded by guys with tattoos?!
[18:18] Otae
    Kagura! What if you're right?
[18:20] Kagura
    Sorry, all you tattooed people!
[18:23] Kagura
    I didn't mean to insult you.
[18:25] ---
    But if you're upset, please feel free to throw those two into a pool of cement.
[18:34] Shinpachi
    Tattooed people would have been so much better.
[18:37] ---
    I'd be so happy, I'd jump into the cement or into the deep sea voluntarily!
[18:41] Gintoki
    Faint! Knock myself out!
[18:43] Shinpachi
    Gin!
[18:45] Gintoki
    Damn it! Why won't I faint?! Stupid!
[18:48] Gintoki
    Die!
[18:48] Shinpachi
    Calm down, Gin!
[18:50] ---
    Get a hold of yourself!
[18:52] Gintoki
    No way! I so won't get a hold of myself!
[18:54] ---
    I'll hang it loosely upside down!
[18:55] ---
    I'll wear my pants hanging at the hip.
[18:57] Gintoki
    What's with this hot spring?! What's with those things in the bath?!
[19:01] Shinpachi
    I've heard that spirits gather where there's water, but this is...
[19:04] Gintoki
    They're not spirits, they're Stands!
[19:06] ---
    Don't call them spirits!
[19:09] Gintoki
    Huh? Hey, wait a minute.
[19:12] Gintoki
    On closer inspection, could it be the steam?
[19:15] Shinpachi
    No, you're wrong.
[19:16] Gintoki
    No, it's the steam.
[19:18] Gintoki
    It's just swirling around and looks like people, semi-transparent people.
[19:21] Gintoki
    Shinpachi, breathe it in. You'll get morning sickness.
[19:24] Shinpachi
    Why're we talking about a pregnant woman now?!
[19:26] Gintoki
    I said...
[19:26] Gintoki
    ...breathe!
[19:35] Shinpachi
    What're you doing?!
[19:36] Gintoki
    See? There's nothing. It was the steam.
[19:39] ---
    It was the steam!
[19:41] Shinpachi
    Oh, you're right.
SIGN    [Cursed]
[19:44] ---
    It was nothing.
[19:48] Gintoki
    Let me just apologize. Sorry.
[19:51] Shinpachi
    Huh? Why? Is something wrong?
[19:53] Gintoki
    Oh, nothing. You just look like you're 100,016 years old.
[19:57] Shinpachi
    Hey Gin, they're all gone. I guess it was the steam, after all.
[20:01] Gintoki
    No, it wasn't the steam. I can verify that.
[20:04] Shinpachi
    I think we should get out, though.
[20:06] ---
    The heat is getting to me...myself.
[20:08] Gintoki
    Did you just say you yourself?
[20:11] Shinpachi
    I myself feel a bit heavy.
[20:14] Gintoki
    Even that looks 100,016 years old!
[20:16] ---
    That itself is changed!
[20:19] Gintoki
    What'll I do?! Otae will kill me!
[20:21] Shinpachi
    Huh? What're you saying?
[20:23] Gintoki
    I'd better apologize once more.
[20:26] ---
    I'm sorry, Shinpachi!
[20:28] Otae
    Oh, that was a nice soak.
[20:30] Shinpachi
    Oh! Sister, Kagura!
[20:33] Kagura
    Look! Our skin is silky smooth!
SIGN    [Cursed]
[20:38] Gintoki
    Who the hell are you?!
[20:39] Gintoki
    Who the hell are you?! Which one's which, and who's who?!
[20:42] Kagura
    What are you saying? It's me!
[20:44] Otae
    And I myself.
[20:45] Shinpachi
    And I myself!
[20:46] Gintoki
    You're all like that!
[20:48] Kagura
    Why don't we go to our room and play UNO?
[20:51] Shinpachi
    That sounds good. Let's play!
[20:54] Otae
    I wonder if you can beat me!
[20:58] Gintoki (M)
    What's going on?! They're all possessed!
[21:01] Gintoki
    Hey! Wait! Don't leave me here alone! Hey!
[21:16] Gintoki
    Okami!
[21:19] Gintoki (M)
    Why you...old hag!
[21:28] Gintoki
    Damn it!
[21:30] Gintoki
    Where the hell did you go?!
[21:31] Gintoki
    Come on out!
[21:33] Gintoki
    Damn you! Just what do you intend to do with us?!
[21:36] ---
    Just what is this inn anyway?!
[21:37] ---
    Turn them back to normal!
[21:54] Spirit C
    We can use him.
[21:57] Spirit D
    Yes, he'll do fine.
[22:36] Okami
    All right, congratulations!
[22:39] Okami
    You've passed the job interview.
SIGN    [To be continued]
[24:16] Closing Creditsvoice
    The next episode: "Briefs Will Unavoidably Get Skidmarks"
SIGN    [For filming the lady's bath scene in today's episode, we got permission from the Okami to have the ladies bathe wearing towels.]
SIGN    [For you viewers, please abide by the rules when bathing.]