# E12 - People Who Make Good First Impressions Usually Suck
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GYWEXZ3JY/people-who-make-good-first-impressions-usually-suck)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:00] Gintoki (Narration)**
Francesca is the princess of Norsteinberg, a small country in Europe.
**[00:05] ---**
Bored and sheltered, she escapes her butler's watchful eyes while traveling.
**[00:11] ---**
She meets a thief, Don Pierre.
**[00:14] ---**
Francesca keeps fighting with this playboy,
**[00:17] ---**
but she accidentally discovers that he really is her blood brother.
**[00:21] ---**
Now, the secret society "Black Rose Squad" is after them!
**[00:25] ---**
Will Francesca be able to adjust to society after being a slacker for so long?
**[00:29] ---**
What about Jyunichi and Satoru's forbidden love?
**[00:32] Shinpachi (Off)**
That is totally not true! Not even close!
**[00:35] Kagura (Off)**
Ohh... Anime is such a wonderful thing!
**[00:38] Kagura (Off)**
Hey!
***SIGN*** [New Staff at Snack House Otose, moe character with cat ears?]
***SIGN*** [Is Shinpachi afraid of fried eggs? Kagura is always drowsy.]
**[02:23] Ryoko Kinomiya**
The flower-lined path to the stage of the floating world
***SIGN***
**[02:26] Ryoko Kinomiya**
has both a top side, and a bottom side.
**[02:30] Ryoko Kinomiya**
Those whose lives blossom have their songs,
**[02:34] Ryoko Kinomiya**
and for those whose lives do not, songs are all they have.
**[02:38] Ryoko Kinomiya**
Today, as everyday, lonely men and women
**[02:42] Ryoko Kinomiya**
wander about, bringing their cold bodies together at a place
**[02:45] Ryoko Kinomiya**
where they laugh while hiding their tears with their drinks.
***SIGN*** [Snack House]
**[02:52] Ryoko Kinomiya**
A tiny snack house.
**[02:56] ---**
Light spilling through its door.
***SIGN*** [Snack House]
**[02:59] ---**
The music sinks deeply into their hearts.
***SIGN*** [Kabukicho 1st Street]
**[03:16] Officer A**
Stop! You bastard!
**[03:18] Mu**
Man, I'm so drunk.
**[03:23] Otose**
Watch your step, Mu.
**[03:26] Otose**
You've had quite a lot to drink.
**[03:29] Mu**
That's nothing!
**[03:30] ---**
You can't even call that "drinking."
**[03:34] Mu**
I'll come back again.
**[03:35] ---**
You're the only one, Otose, who listens to my stories.
**[03:39] Otose**
I don't know what you're talking about. I turn away boring customers!
**[03:43] Mu**
Yes, yes, I know.
**[03:53] Catherine**
Meow.
**[03:56] Otose**
Oh, it's just a stray cat.
**[03:58] Otose**
Are you hungry?
**[04:01] ---**
Come on in.
**[04:02] ---**
If the bar's leftovers are okay with you, then I'll feed you some.
***SIGN*** [People Who Make Good First Impressions Usually Suck]
**[04:16] Otose**
Can't your mouth say anything other than "wait on the rent"?
**[04:20] Otose**
I'm sick and tired of hearing that.
**[04:22] ---**
At least once in a while, couldn't you say, "advance payment,"
**[04:24] ---**
or "thank you," or "you're looking beautiful as usual."
**[04:27] ---**
You're so inconsiderate.
**[04:29] Gintoki**
If all I have to do is say it, I'll say it all you want.
**[04:31] ---**
It's just "You're looking beautiful...as usual."
**[04:35] Gintoki**
I can't do it. My mouth is saying "No, no, no!"
**[04:38] Otose**
Such a useless mouth. You should sew it shut!
**[04:41] Otose**
Shall I do it for you? With a kite string and a needle?
**[04:45] Gintoki**
Go away! My mouth is for strawberry milk and chocolate parfaits.
**[04:51] Otose**
If you have the time to drink baby stuff like that, then cough up some of the rent you owe!
**[04:57] Gintoki**
My life is more important than rent.
**[05:01] Otose**
You're an idiot.
**[05:03] Otose**
An idiot with "stupid" on top for good measure.
**[05:06] Otose**
I'll add "shitty" too, if you like. You shitty stupid idiot.
**[05:11] Gintoki**
Oh yeah! It takes one to know one, you know!
**[05:15] Gintoki**
Idiot, idiot, idiot.
**[05:16] Otose**
It's not just your taste buds. Are your brains at the level of a preschooler, too?
**[05:23] Kagura**
Extra helpings?
**[05:27] Otose**
This ain't no lunch counter, you get me?
**[05:27] Gintoki [Simultaneous]**
Stop drinking your rice!
**[05:28] ---**
For a while now, you haven't been eating your rice, you've been drinking it!
**[05:29] ---**
This is a place for creepy old men to
**[05:31] ---**
simultaneously drink themselves sick and indulge their sick minds.
**[05:32] ---**
A meal isn't a sport!
**[05:32] ---**
A "Snack" house, If you catch my meaning!
**[05:34] Kagura**
If you put charcoal inside and cook it, the chlorine smell goes away.
**[05:37] Kagura**
It's a pearl of wisdom from my grandmother.
**[05:39] Otose**
Are you trying to suck up to me?
**[05:42] ---**
In a roundabout way, you're saying it doesn't taste good.
**[05:45] Gintoki**
Normally, the sound you make when you eat rice is pakupaku,
**[05:49] Gintoki**
but in your case...
**[05:49] Shinpachi**
Oh!
**[05:51] Gintoki**
You fool!
**[05:52] ---**
The most expensive thing here is not the smile that seals a lie.
**[05:57] ---**
It's those dried garnishes!
**[06:01] Otose**
I'll add it separately to your rent.
**[06:05] Shinpachi**
N-No way...
**[06:08] Otose**
For guys who can't wipe their own backsides, helping other people is ludicrous.
**[06:13] Gintoki**
I never could reach around back there.
**[06:17] ---**
You could at least leave a little for us.
**[06:20] Otose**
I didn't mean it literally.
**[06:21] Kagura**
Dried foods make me thirsty.
**[06:24] ---**
Oolong tea, please.
**[06:25] Catherine**
Yes.
**[06:26] Shinpachi**
Why drink oolong tea here when you can get it at the supermarket
**[06:30] Shinpachi**
in a plastic bottle for 358 yen?!
**[06:32] Shinpachi**
That's as outrageous as some rich guy who burns a wad of bills
**[06:35] Shinpachi**
in the foyer looking for his shoes!
**[06:37] ---**
Do something about her!
**[06:39] ---**
At this rate, all the money in the world isn't going to be enough!
**[06:42] Shinpachi**
Not that we ever had any.
**[06:45] Gintoki**
Yeah, you're right.
**[06:46] Shinpachi**
We could work honest jobs!
**[06:48] Gintoki**
Yeah.
**[06:50] Shinpachi**
Or we could seriously walk out on our bills!
**[06:52] Gintoki**
Yeah.
**[06:54] Shinpachi**
At this point, I'm desperate!
**[06:55] ---**
I'll kill you and take my own life, too!
**[06:58] Gintoki**
Calm down.
**[07:02] Shinpachi**
How apathetic can you be?!
**[07:06] Shinpachi**
You can't even decide to run away,
**[07:08] Shinpachi**
much less have the courage to stand up to something!
**[07:10] ---**
The stress of modern education without a father is showing up here!
**[07:12] Gintoki**
Aw, shut up!
**[07:14] ---**
Once you've come of age, it isn't your parents' fault anymore.
**[07:16] ---**
Do something about it yourself.
**[07:18] Shinpachi**
You haven't done anything about the rent!
**[07:22] Kagura**
Pipe down.
**[07:27] Kagura**
Even if your parents die, you still have to eat and rest.
**[07:30] Otose**
Good grief.
**[07:31] Shinpachi**
Blood! Blood!
**[07:33] Shinpachi**
Blood!
**[07:35] Catherine**
Uh...are you all right?
**[07:39] Catherine**
Press on it with this.
**[07:41] Gintoki**
Haven't seen your face before. You new here?
**[07:45] Catherine**
Yes. I've been working here from a while back. I'm Catherine.
**[07:50] Otose**
She came to earth to make some money.
**[07:53] ---**
She works hard to send money back home.
**[07:56] Catherine**
Pleased to meetchu.
**[07:59] Otose**
She's good with the customers, and does a good job.
**[08:03] Catherine**
It's no big deal at all.
**[08:06] Gintoki**
That's impressive.
**[08:08] Gintoki**
And she even has a great sense of humor.
**[08:11] Shinpachi**
Oh? Really?
**[08:13] Gintoki**
Someone around here has absolutely no talent for humor.
**[08:17] Gintoki**
The other one lives only to satisfy her hunger.
**[08:23] Kagura**
I can't eat any more.
**[08:25] Everyone**
Of course not.
**[08:27] Gintoki**
Well, there may be difficult moments, tough moments and unbearable moments,
**[08:32] Gintoki**
but hang in there.
**[08:33] Catherine**
Thank you very much.
**[08:35] Gintoki**
You might think things are difficult now,
**[08:37] Gintoki**
but in the future, it's gonna get a lot worse.
**[08:39] Gintoki**
If you keep that in mind, you can endure it.
**[08:41] Shinpachi**
What are you, a genuine masochist?
**[08:51] Mama**
Come back soon.
**[08:56] Mama**
You golden parachute bastard!
**[09:07] Mama**
The money!
**[09:11] Ramen Peddler**
Th-The money...
**[09:17] Host A**
The money!
**[09:48] Shinpachi**
I'm so hungry...so hungry.
**[09:52] Gintoki**
Shut up.
**[09:53] ---**
Then why don't you just go home!
**[09:56] Gintoki**
You probably have food there.
**[09:59] Shinpachi**
My sister is home today.
**[10:03] Shinpachi**
My sister's there, cooking.
**[10:13] Otae**
Shin, today we're having fried egg
**[10:18] Otae**
and fried egg and fried egg.
**[10:22] Shinpachi**
Sis's fried eggs make me see things I'm not supposed to see.
**[10:29] Shinpachi**
Did you know, Gin?
**[10:32] Shinpachi**
A kind of canned herring called Surströmming
**[10:35] Shinpachi**
has a smell that even cats run away from.
**[10:38] ---**
They say smelly things taste good.
**[10:42] Shinpachi**
Gin, did you know?
**[10:44] ---**
The Inuit people, after killing a caribou,
**[10:48] ---**
apparently eat even the gunky contents of the stomach.
**[10:53] ---**
It must be warm and delicious.
**[11:00] Shinpachi**
Gin, did you know?
**[11:02] ---**
When an owl catches a baby mouse,
**[11:04] ---**
it feeds it to fatten it in its nest before eating it.
**[11:09] ---**
It must be plump and juicy for sure.
**[11:13] Shinpachi**
There are so many delicious things in the world.
**[11:20] Shinpachi**
When I think about it, the rent here isn't all that low, is it?
**[11:25] ---**
There must be a ton of other places that are cheaper than this.
**[11:28] Shinpachi**
You know, Gin...
**[11:31] Shinpachi**
What the?!
**[11:34] Shinpachi**
Our emergency funds!
**[11:37] Shinpachi**
That borderline-diabetic rat bastard!
**[11:41] Mu**
I thought I got into a really great company!
**[11:47] Mu**
At that time anyway.
**[11:50] Mu**
Huh? Where're my cigarettes?
**[11:52] Otose**
Oh come now. You just sent Catherine out to buy some.
**[11:56] Mu**
What? Did I?
**[11:58] Otose**
Yes, you did. You're too much.
**[12:03] Otose**
She sure is taking long, though. How far did that girl go?
**[12:16] Gintoki**
Hey.
**[12:18] Gintoki**
On an errand? That old hag is a real taskmaster.
**[12:23] Catherine**
Y-Yes, I am. I came to buy Mu's cigarettes...
**[12:27] Gintoki**
I see.
**[12:29] Catherine**
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
**[12:33] Gintoki**
Anyway, this area is
**[12:37] Gintoki**
like a garbage dump where the trash piles up.
**[12:41] Gintoki**
What I want to say is...
**[12:44] ---**
the two of us are alike, we're both trash.
**[12:46] ---**
No, trash isn't the right word.
**[12:49] ---**
We're both boogers in the same nostril.
**[12:51] Gintoki**
In the same pot...pan...spoon.
**[12:55] Catherine**
I understand.
**[12:56] ---**
You're a good person. All of you are good people.
**[13:05] Officer**
You both from around here?
**[13:07] Gintoki**
What's it to you?
**[13:10] Officer**
Have a look.
**[13:13] Gintoki**
So?
**[13:14] Officer**
Can I get you to cooperate with an investigation?
**[13:19] Officer**
Is this everyone?
**[13:21] Otose**
Did something happen?
**[13:23] Officer**
Yes, there have been
**[13:26] Officer**
several robberies in the vicinity.
**[13:32] Officer**
Sixteen since the start of this month.
**[13:35] Gintoki**
That's pretty troubling.
**[13:38] Shinpachi**
Says the thief who stole the money!
**[13:41] ---**
It's obvious by that sweet breath of yours?
**[13:44] Officer**
The perp appears to be an Amanto.
**[13:46] ---**
It's still under investigation.
**[13:47] ---**
I thought you might have heard any disturbing rumors.
**[13:50] Gintoki**
In that case, I have heard one.
**[13:52] Gintoki**
She's your suspect.
**[13:59] Gintoki**
What the hell did you do that for?!
**[14:02] Kagura**
Man who makes bad jokes get finger broken.
**[14:05] Gintoki**
Never heard of that!
**[14:07] Gintoki**
I was just trying to show you a way to return to your hometown for free.
**[14:12] Officer**
Deportation isn't free.
**[14:14] Kagura**
No sir, I'd be returning home in disgrace.
**[14:19] Gintoki**
You're in no position to be choosy!
**[14:21] Kagura**
Worst comes to worst, I'll just hold onto the side of ship and go home like that.
**[14:25] Launch Staff A**
5...4...3...2...1...
**[14:28] Launch Staff B**
No!
**[14:30] Launch Staff A**
Zero!
**[14:34] Kagura**
Did that on the trip here!
**[14:37] Kagura**
I'll manage!
**[14:39] Shinpachi**
That's a cold calculation.
**[14:42] Gintoki**
I'll be fine.
**[14:43] Gintoki**
Even if she's thrown out into space, she'll have no problem surviving.
**[14:45] Kagura**
I'm not a cockroach!
**[14:47] Gintoki**
How dare you say that!
**[14:50] Gintoki**
Apologize to the cockroaches!
**[14:51] ---**
Apologize to the cockroaches, the greatest survivors on Earth!
**[14:55] Kagura**
No way!
**[14:55] Officer**
Am I...in the way here?
**[14:57] Otose**
Anyway, we don't have the kind of money that someone would steal.
**[15:03] Otose**
Well, if anything does happen, we'll let you know.
**[15:05] Officer**
Please do.
**[15:16] Gintoki**
The inside of my mouth tastes awful!
**[15:19] Gintoki**
I shouldn't drink sweet milk beverages just before going to bed.
**[15:23] ---**
Okay, I've taken another step up towards becoming an adult.
**[15:27] Gintoki**
But I'm going down the steps.
**[15:29] Gintoki**
Why am I doing my own two-man comedy routine?
**[15:35] Gintoki**
What? Working overtime?
**[15:38] Gintoki**
Couldn't be.
**[15:41] Shinpachi**
I'm starving.
**[15:46] Shinpachi**
I'm sooooo sorry!
**[15:48] Shinpachi**
Forgive me for interrupting your midnight tryst!
**[15:51] ---**
I'll disappear. Please enjoy your dazzling world of pleasure!
**[15:54] Gintoki**
Hey.
**[15:56] Kagura**
Dopes.
**[15:58] Kagura**
Prostrate yourselves before my power.
**[16:03] Gintoki**
You're sleepwalking.
**[16:05] ---**
What was that dream? What's it about?
**[16:06] ---**
A brandy glass and cat?
**[16:08] Kagura**
How empty a man's life is.
**[16:11] Gintoki**
Hey!
**[16:12] Shinpachi**
So what evil sheriff was that?
**[16:15] Kagura**
Huh?
**[16:17] Gintoki**
That looks like my scooter.
**[16:20] Catherine**
You're all good people.
**[16:23] Kagura**
Now that you mention it, the umbrella in the back looks exactly like mine.
**[16:28] Shinpachi**
That's the bar's cash register!
**[16:29] Otose**
What the hell are you doing at this hour of the night?
**[16:47] Otose**
Catherine?!
**[16:49] Catherine**
Bye, rotten old hag.
**[16:51] Catherine**
Moor-ons!
**[16:55] Gintoki**
That ugly pig-faced cow!
**[16:55] Kagura**
Tonight, I drink your blood!
**[17:03] Driver**
Wh-What the?!
**[17:06] Woman**
Help! Seiya!
**[17:08] Host**
Give me a break!
**[17:11] Shinpachi**
Just a minute. What're you guys doing?
**[17:14] Shinpachi**
Where are you going?
**[17:17] Shinpachi**
Waaaaaait!
**[17:20] Driver**
They're gone.
**[17:23] Driver**
They drove off! Dammit!
**[17:24] Woman**
Seiya! I'm scared!
**[17:25] Host**
Shut up! Old hag!
**[17:41] Ramen Peddler**
What's that?
**[17:47] Shinpachi**
I hate cats!
**[17:53] Shinpachi**
Hey! I think we just moved past Catherine in the felony count!
**[17:58] Kagura**
There!
**[17:59] Kagura**
Catherine!
**[18:01] Kagura**
Die!
**[18:04] Kagura**
Cath...er...ine!
**[18:16] Kagura**
Deaaatthhhhh!
**[18:23] Kagura/Gintoki/Shinpachi**
What? What?!
**[18:35] Otose**
Too bad.
**[18:37] Otose**
I rather liked you.
**[18:42] Otose**
That part about you supporting your family. Was that a lie, too?
**[18:46] Catherine**
Otose. You're a good person. But you're such a dope.
**[18:53] Catherine**
It's okay to like helping people.
**[18:55] ---**
But if you overdo it, bad people like me will take advantage of you.
**[18:59] Otose**
It's part of my character. Too late to change.
**[19:07] Otose**
It's how I got to meet some interesting people.
**[19:13] Otose**
Want to hear about it?
**[19:15] Otose**
No, hear me out. It's the least you can do.
**[19:22] Otose**
There was a man, you see.
**[19:28] Otose (N)**
It was a cold, snowy day.
**[19:32] Otose (N)**
On a whim, I went out to visit my late husband's grave.
**[19:48] Gintoki**
Hey, Granny!
**[19:51] Gintoki**
Mind if I eat those dumplings?
**[19:53] ---**
I'm so hungry I'm about to croak.
**[19:56] Otose**
These aren't for me. I gave them to my husband. Ask him.
**[20:01] Gintoki**
Oh yeah?
**[20:02] ---**
Okay, then...
**[20:08] Otose**
What did my husband say?
**[20:12] Otose (N)**
When I asked him, do you know what he said?
**[20:17] Catherine**
Don't know.
**[20:18] Catherine**
I have no interest in the rambling of strangers.
**[20:21] Gintoki**
"Dead men don't talk," he said.
**[20:27] Gintoki**
"I won't ever forget this debt."
**[20:31] Gintoki**
"After all, you're an old lady. Probably going to kick the bucket soon."
**[20:35] Otose**
"But until that happens, I'll watch over her for you," he said.
**[21:05] Otose**
You're going to watch over me?
**[21:11] Otose**
Let's see what you can do, then.
**[21:17] Gintoki**
Nice way to show her gratitude to you for giving her a job.
**[21:20] ---**
People who can't keep their obligations are simply hideous, old hag.
**[21:26] Otose**
Like someone who lives on the second floor of someone's house without paying rent?
**[21:32] Gintoki**
People are all kind of hideous, in a way.
**[21:35] Otose**
You're talking nonsense.
**[21:38] Officer**
Thank you for cooperating with our investigation.
**[21:42] Otose**
You turned out to be quite the stray cat.
**[21:47] Otose**
Cats are animals that claw at things, though.
**[21:53] Gintoki**
You hit the nail on the head.
**[21:55] Otose**
It's too late for you to change now.
**[21:57] ---**
But if you're down and out and need a meal in the future, come by the back of the shop.
**[22:00] Otose**
I'll let you have some leftovers.
**[22:04] Catherine**
Otose, you're a fool.
**[22:09] ---**
However...
**[22:13] Gintoki**
It's the first time I've seen you not get angry when someone called you a fool.
**[22:17] Otose**
I have my moments.
**[22:19] ---**
Since you did me a favor today. I'll let you have this month's rent free.
**[22:23] Gintoki**
You serious?!
**[22:24] Gintoki**
Thanks, granny!
**[22:25] ---**
I'll be sure to pay the month after next!
**[22:27] Otose**
Heck, I'll write off all of the late rent you owe me. And the month after next to boot.
**[22:32] Gintoki**
Yippee! Yippee!
**[22:33] Otose**
Stop trying to act cute.
**[22:36] Ryoko Kinomiya**
A light and fleeting act of compassion...
**[22:39] ---**
when it touches you, you feel a warmth.
**[22:42] ---**
A penetrating, heartfelt song...
**[22:46] ---**
that warms one's frozen fingertips.
***SIGN*** [Location: Kabukicho]
***SIGN*** [Preview]
**[24:25] Gintoki(Narration)**
While looking for Ham for our client,
**[24:28] Gintoki(Narration)**
we got involved in a tight situation.
**[24:30] Gintoki(Narration)**
"Harusame", the biggest crime syndicate in the galaxy?!
**[24:33] Gintoki(Narration)**
Who do you think you are, Frieza?! Butthead!
**[24:35] ---**
The next episode:
**[24:36] ---**
"If You're Going to Cosplay, Go All Out"
***SIGN*** [He said looking for Ham, but it's really a person.]
***SIGN*** ["Harusame", the Biggest Crime Syndicate in the galaxy. Going into a serious episode of Gintama?]
***SIGN*** [Moe~]
**[24:50] Catherine**
I'm a cat-eared moe character, too.