# 347 - Machines That Pick Up Useless Habits Are Called People
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/GYQ4MKDZ6/gintama)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Gintama
***SIGN*** Silver Soul
***SIGN*** Watch the Silver Soul Arc in a bright room
and at a safe distance from your TV!!
**[01:58] Gen**
*Why are you dying without a word?*
**[02:01] Gen**
* At least cough up a complaint*
* or two before you go.*
**[02:09] Gen**
* You pieces of junk normally*
* never listen to me,*
**[02:13] Gen**
*so why now, of all times,*
**[02:15] Gen**
*do you look like fine machinery*
**[02:19] Gen**
*as you silently break down?*
**[02:24] Gen**
*"Machines exist to serve people"?*
**[02:28] Gen**
*You're certainly right.*
**[02:31] Gen**
*But if you guys didn't want to,*
**[02:35] Gen**
*I wouldn't have minded one bit.*
**[02:42] Gen**
* Even if you didn't serve any purpose,*
* even if you were useless pieces of junk...*
**[02:48] Gen**
*As long you guys, my friends, were beside me,*
**[02:54] Gen**
*I was fully prepared to die with you!*
**[03:01] Gen**
*And yet...*
**[03:04] Gen**
*I'm sorry.*
**[03:09] Gen**
*I'm so sorry.*
**[03:12] Gen**
*I'm so, so sorry!*
**[03:17] Kin**
That man poured his heart and soul,
his whole life, into machines,
**[03:23] Kin**
and now he has to throw them
all away to stop the war?
**[03:26] Kin**
He's been forced to make a choice
far more painful than death.
**[03:31] Kin**
But we still can't turn tail.
**[03:36] Kin**
Because we're machines
built by Hiraga Gengai!
**[03:44] Kin**
Have you said your goodbyes,
**[03:48] Kin**
Tama-san?
**[03:55] Tama**
No. There's no need for that.
**[04:01] Tama**
Whatever may be destroyed or stolen,
**[04:06] Tama**
they will surely take it all back.
**[04:09] Tama**
We will meet again one day, for sure.
**[04:14] Tama**
So I will not say goodbye to anyone.
**[04:22] Kin**
That so?
**[04:25] Kin**
Think it's possible?
**[04:27] Kin**
Can they do it?
**[04:31] Tama**
Of course. I'm sure they can.
**[04:35] Tama**
After all, they're the people who
took the dullest piece of gold
**[04:39] Tama**
and polished it enough for
it to save half the world.
**[04:46] Kin**
They spared my life once, anyway.
**[04:52] Kin**
So I'll leave it in their hands...
**[04:55] Kin**
This life!
**[04:57] Tama**
And the world!
**[04:59] Bo**
Listen up, humanity!
**[05:04] Bo**
We leave the rest to you!
**[05:58] Tama**
*I don't need to say goodbye.*
**[06:02] Tama**
*If there's one thing I can say, it's this:*
**[06:09] Tama**
* Before, I never hesitated to*
* perform my duties as a machine.*
**[06:16] Tama**
*I was just another screw.*
**[06:21] Tama**
* But to those who filled me*
* with so much pointless data,*
**[06:31] Tama**
*to those who*
**[06:34] Tama**
*turned me into this oil-drenched screw...*
**[06:40] Tama**
Thank you for being my friends.
**[06:47] Gin**
Tama!
**[07:00] Shin**
* On that day, the machines chose to*
* quit being functioning machinery*
**[07:07] Shin**
* and became completely*
* useless friends of ours.*
***SIGN*** Silver Soul Arc
***SIGN*** Machines That Pick Up Useless Habits Are Called People
**[07:20] G**
We've totally lost contact with Earth!
**[07:23] G**
No word on the well-being
of the squads in action!
**[07:24] G**
Even the battleships on standby in
the main formation are being affected!
**[07:31] En**
What is going on?
**[07:34] Sak**
Too bad.
**[07:37] Sak**
They wanted you ta have the best seats
to see the fireworks, Shogun-sama,
**[07:41] Sak**
but it seems they were all wet and soggy.
**[07:44] Sak**
We're tired of standin' around.
**[07:46] Sak**
Could you send us back ta
where our friends are?
**[07:52] En**
Wait.
**[07:53] Nb**
No need. I can tell what happened
without having to see it.
**[07:57] Nb**
I believe I told you
**[08:00] Nb**
that we will not lose!
**[08:05] G**
Whoa. They sank all of the
Liberation Army's battleships!
**[08:11] Tae**
Tama-san...
**[08:13] Cat**
Otose-san, you don't think they...
**[08:19] Oto**
They'll come back, no matter what.
**[08:25] Gen**
You got into a huge fight with
machines from all over the universe.
**[08:30] Gen**
Get a little rest for now.
**[08:34] Gen**
But know that I'll repair you and
work you to the bone again...
**[08:39] Gen**
No matter what.
**[08:43] Gen**
It's a promise.
**[08:45] Gen**
So let us...
**[08:49] Oto**
Let humanity take care of the rest.
**[08:54] Oto**
This place is your home...
**[09:00] Bo**
And we swear to protect it!
**[09:07] Kon**
Even firearms have been neutralized
because of their inner machinery.
**[09:11] Kon**
That old man and his robots did it.
**[09:14] Kon**
They really saved half the world!
**[09:18] Zen**
Man, this sucks.
**[09:20] Zen**
I'd finally prepared myself
for the worst here.
**[09:23] Zen**
Don't be getting my hopes up again.
**[09:26] Zen**
Technology and weapons?
**[09:28] Zen**
Are those the only areas
we were overwhelmed in?
**[09:34] Zen**
Did you forget about numbers?
**[09:39] Dak**
The battle is only getting started.
**[09:41] Dak**
Damn earthlings had a pretty
amusing trick up their sleeve.
**[09:45] Dak**
But we still have weapons right here...
**[09:49] Dak**
We Dakini, feared as tanks of destruction.
**[09:54] G**
Sotatsu-sama...
**[09:56] Sot**
We'll have him carry the load.
**[09:59] Sot**
I have no interest in
revenge, freedom, or glory.
**[10:03] Sot**
But we will take all the spoils.
**[10:07] Kag**
Are those guys going to head
toward the Kabuki District?
**[10:11] Shin**
If such a huge army marches in there...
**[10:14] Gin**
They knew that all along.
**[10:18] Hij**
The geezer and the others used the Kabuki
District as bait knowing this would happen.
**[10:23] Zen**
The most important thing in war
is predicting the enemy's moves.
**[10:28] Kon**
Right now, it's obvious where they
will go and what they're after.
**[10:35] Kon**
Right now, we might be
able to cause a miracle.
**[10:38] Kon**
Edo's biggest hoodlum district
has given Edo one last hope.
**[10:47] Oto**
Close the gates!
***SIGN*** Kabuki District First
***SIGN*** Earth Defense Town
***SIGN*** Kabuki District First
**[11:00] Tae**
All right.
**[11:01] Tae**
This is mankind's final stronghold.
**[11:05] Tae**
Until our friends across Edo come here,
**[11:07] Tae**
we must hold out no matter what.
**[11:13] Cat**
We don't have any means of communication.
**[11:16] Cat**
Will anyone really come for us?
**[11:18] Tae**
They will.
**[11:20] Tae**
We don't need to communicate.
They already know.
**[11:32] Dak**
Charge!
**[11:39] Tae**
They know how much
**[11:42] Tae**
we all love this town.
**[11:57] Dak**
Charge!
**[12:06] Zen**
The enemy's target is the cannon.
**[12:09] Zen**
They think destroying it will fix
**[12:12] Zen**
their broken machines and
reestablish contact with their rear.
**[12:16] Zen**
They have huge numbers,
but that's also their weakness.
**[12:20] Zen**
If we poke at them from multiple
sides and make then panic,
**[12:22] Zen**
they'll soon lose their footing
and go out of control.
**[12:26] Zen**
That said, be careful.
**[12:27] Zen**
Don't go in too deep. Keep your distance.
**[12:31] Sac**
We know.
**[12:32] Sac**
Kabuki District's residents risked
it all to give us this ray of hope.
**[12:36] Sac**
We won't let it be in vain!
**[12:40] G**
Vice Chief!
**[12:40] G**
We're ready!
**[12:43] Hij**
Think we can do this?
**[12:44] G**
If we set up that many, it should work.
**[12:47] Hij**
Listen up.
**[12:48] Hij**
Consider this battle lost if
they reach the Kabuki District.
**[12:52] Hij**
We'll strike at the center of their
long formation and split them up.
**[12:55] Kon**
After that, how many do
we each have to cut down?
**[12:59] Hij**
Let's see...
**[13:01] Hij**
If you cut down two hundred
each, I'll give you a bonus.
**[13:04] G**
Two hundred?
**[13:05] Oki**
Then if I cut down a thousand,
the position of vice chief is mine?
**[13:12] Hij**
I'll consider it.
**[13:13] G**
Wow, the vice chief finally
gave his blessing!
**[13:15] G**
If Captain Okita becomes vice chief,
the world will end anyway.
**[13:20] Ymz**
You can say that again.
**[13:22] Ymz**
But if it's going to end either way,
that way sounds like it'd be more fun.
**[13:26] Kon**
Yeah, I feel the same way.
**[13:30] Kon**
At this point, whether the world ends or not,
**[13:33] Kon**
it's not the Shinsengumi if
we're not protecting Edo.
**[13:36] Kon**
And whether the world ends or not,
**[13:38] Kon**
it's not Odd Jobs if they're not
raising hell in the Kabuki District.
**[13:42] Kon**
Your resting place will find its own
way to you at the end of your life.
**[13:48] Kon**
Go live your life,
**[13:51] Kon**
Odd Jobs.
**[14:06] Kon**
Let's go!
**[14:22] Mut**
How'd Earth look?
**[14:24] Sak**
They're doin' well ta hold out.
You could call it a miracle.
**[14:29] Sak**
But given the difference in
numbers, that won't last long.
**[14:32] Sak**
Unless we stop this war while
they're still hangin' in there,
**[14:37] Sak**
there won't be any more miracles.
**[14:40] Shi**
Do you have any ideas?
**[14:43] Shi**
Actually, even if you did, it's too late now.
**[14:48] Shi**
I've done a horrible thing to you earthlings.
**[14:51] Shi**
Even though I agreed to
a ceasefire with you,
**[14:54] Shi**
I couldn't stop that man.
**[14:59] Nb**
Admiral Shijaku? You're imprisoned, too?
**[15:03] Shi**
The Liberation Army's flame of revenge
has grown too large to stamp out.
**[15:08] Shi**
It won't stop until it burns
everything in its path.
**[15:10] Sak**
If we can't stamp it out,
we just gotta direct it elsewhere.
**[15:14] Sak**
There's someone else we both must fight.
**[15:19] Shi**
If you mean the Tendoshu, they're already...
**[15:21] Sak**
Nah, there's still one.
**[15:23] Sak**
And if we keep fightin' like this,
not only will you not get your revenge,
**[15:28] Sak**
you'll be helpin' him reach
his goal of destroyin' Earth.
**[15:32] Shi**
What do you people know?
**[15:36] Sak**
Let's see...
**[15:38] Sak**
We know that you're the only trustworthy
man in the Liberation Army, at least.
**[15:45] Sak**
Shijaku, if you truly care
about the Liberation Army,
**[15:49] Sak**
if you truly wish to give the
universe its freedom back,
**[15:52] Sak**
then help us.
**[15:54] Sak**
It's not too late.
**[15:58] Shi**
That's not the kind of
line you say in a prison.
**[16:01] Shi**
You people are now completely isolated
from the rest of the universe—
**[16:06] Sak**
You realized, huh?
**[16:08] Sak**
We were prepared for everythin'
once we were summoned here.
**[16:13] Sak**
And we've already laid the groundwork.
**[16:19] Shi**
Another squad?
**[16:21] Shi**
You predicted that things could go south
and split your squad into two beforehand?
**[16:25] Sak**
A stealth ship, our Kaientai's pride and joy!
**[16:29] Sak**
It must be approachin' this HQ by now.
**[16:32] Sak**
Once I give the word,
they'll come chargin' aboard.
**[16:35] Sak**
It's time ta make our comeback, Zura.
**[16:37] Kat**
I'm not Zura. I'm Inmate Number 3692.
**[16:41] Sak**
*Oh, sorry. Wrong number.*
**[16:44] Mut**
What happened?
**[16:45] Sak**
Radioed the wrong person.
**[16:47] Sak**
That wasn't Zura. It was 3692.
**[16:50] Kat**
*I'm not 3692. I'm Katsura.*
**[16:54] Sak**
Wait, you're imprisoned, too?
**[16:56] Sak**
Wait a second! Where the hell are you?
**[17:00] Sak**
Didn't I tell you to take care of
things if anything happened ta us?
**[17:03] Kat**
Relax. We're another squad.
**[17:05] Kat**
We were caught for a reason
totally unrelated to yours.
**[17:08] Sak**
*That's how you differentiate yourselves?*
**[17:09] Kat**
The thing is, after we split up from you,
**[17:11] Kat**
something unexpected happened
while we were standing by.
**[17:14] (Flashback) Kat**
Men, prepare to charge in at any time.
**[17:18] (Flashback) G**
Whoa!
**[17:19] (Flashback) G**
What's the matter?
**[17:20] (Flashback) G**
Well, an enemy ship just
passed right in front of us.
**[17:24] (Flashback) Kat**
Fret not. They cannot see us.
**[17:28] (Flashback) Kat**
This is a stealth ship, after all.
**[17:29] (Flashback) G**
A-Are you sure they can't see us?
**[17:32] (Flashback) G**
I feel like they've been
circling us for a while.
**[17:34] (Flashback) Kat**
You're overthinking it.
**[17:36] (Flashback) G**
But Katsura-san, have you ever actually
seen a stealth ship's exterior?
**[17:40] (Flashback) G**
What do we look like from the outside?
**[17:43] (Flashback) G**
And what is "stealth," anyway?
**[17:45] (Flashback) Kat**
Stealth, well...
**[17:49] (Flashback) Kat**
It must be see-through, or something.
**[17:52] (Flashback) Kat**
Wait!
**[17:53] (Flashback) Kat**
Even if the ship is see-through, we aren't!
**[17:56] (Flashback) Kat**
Which means...
**[17:59] (Flashback) Kat**
We're totally visible!
***SIGN*** You're wrong, Katsura-san. This ship and all of us on it can't be seen from the outside.
**[18:04] (Flashback) Kat**
O-Oh, okay. So everything is
see-through, including us?
**[18:08] (Flashback) Kat**
Wait!
**[18:09] (Flashback) Kat**
Even if we are see-through,
what we take in from the outside
**[18:12] (Flashback) Kat**
and all of its residue...
**[18:16] (Flashback) Kat**
It's totally visible!
***SIGN*** You're wrong, Katsura-san. Stealth here refers to technology that conceals an object using camouflage which adapts to the surrounding scenery.
**[18:22] (Flashback) Kat**
Oh, is that how it is? I see.
**[18:24] (Flashback) Kat**
So even if our insides are visible,
**[18:27] (Flashback) Kat**
this technology will make the ship
adapt to that and hide us all.
**[18:30] (Flashback) Kat**
It's totally visible after all!
**[18:34] (Flashback) Kat**
Damn you, Sakamoto!
**[18:35] (Flashback) Kat**
How dare you make us ride
this piece of junk?!
***SIGN*** Forget it.
**[18:38] (Flashback) Kat**
Men, hurry up and camouflage yourselves!
**[18:41] (Flashback) Kat**
Turn off the lights!
**[18:42] (Flashback) Kat**
Hide your presence!
**[18:43] (Flashback) Kat**
Become one with space!
**[18:45] (Flashback) Kat**
You are nothing! Blend in with
the space all around you!
**[18:48] (Flashback) Kat**
You are a part of space, and space itself!
**[18:54] (Flashback) G**
Uh, Katsura-san?
**[18:56] (Flashback) G**
We can't see anything.
**[19:02] Kat**
* So yeah, we rammed into some ship*
* thanks to your piece of junk.*
**[19:07] Sak**
You mean thanks to the junk you call a brain!
**[19:09] Kat**
Before we knew it, we'd been surrounded
and captured by some strange group.
**[19:14] Sak**
*Not the Liberation Army?*
**[19:16] Kat**
Yeah, not them.
**[19:17] Kat**
They're a weird bunch with something
indecent-looking growing from their foreheads.
**[19:22] Kat**
You know what they said to us?
**[19:24] Kat**
"We didn't capture you.
We took you into our care."
**[19:30] Kat**
This ship exists to safeguard the
species of Earth from its demise...
**[19:34] Hata**
Noah's Ark.
**[19:36] Jii**
Truly.
**[19:37] Hata**
Good job gathering all of these, Gramps.
**[19:40] Jii**
Thank you.
**[19:41] Jii**
We took advantage of the chaos of war and
went around cattle mutilating everything.
**[19:45] Jii**
That planet is doomed to destruction.
Anyone who would complain is going to die, too.
**[19:50] Hata**
Yes. If anything, they should be thanking me.
**[19:53] Hata**
I'm saving these animals from extinction
and even making them my pets.
***SIGN*** Mongrel
**[19:58] Hata**
But couldn't you take a more uniform
sample? This is really lopsided.
***SIGN*** Matsudaira Dog
***SIGN*** Watanabe Dog
**[20:02] Jii**
Dogs are a truly diverse species.
***SIGN*** Shimura Dog
**[20:06] Hata**
Oh, really?
**[20:09] Hata**
And this one's dead!
***SIGN*** Underdog
**[20:12] Jii**
That's a loser underdog.
**[20:15] Jii**
Believe it or not, it's actually alive.
**[20:18] Hata**
Is that true?!
**[20:19] Jii**
It can't protect its loved
ones or die with them.
**[20:23] Jii**
It's a creature that goes through
life simply withering away.
**[20:26] Hata**
I see. Such a pitiful creature.
**[20:30] Hata**
But don't worry. I won't let you die.
**[20:33] Hata**
Even if you suffer so much you want to die,
**[20:36] Hata**
I won't let you die.
**[20:37] Hata**
You're my dear pet.
**[20:39] Hata**
Anyway, I heard you captured a new species?
**[20:43] Jii**
Oh, it's over there.
***SIGN*** Joi Rebill
**[20:45] Jii**
It seems our men picked them up
after our ship ran them over.
**[20:50] Hata**
Joi Rebill?
**[20:52] Hata**
Like a type of billed duck?
**[20:54] Hata**
Hey, are you cleaning the cage?
**[20:57] Hata**
All I can see is dung!
The thing's nowhere to be found!
**[20:59] Jii**
Ah, the old zoo cliché.
**[21:01] Jii**
A cage where you can't see
the animal, wait as you may,
**[21:03] Jii**
and can only see its poop all over.
**[21:05] Hata**
Look, forget about the cliché.
Where's the Joi Rebill?
**[21:08] Jii**
That's a zoo cliché, too.
**[21:09] Jii**
You think it's poop, but it was
actually a coiled-up Joi Rebill.
**[21:12] Hata**
That's a Joi Rebill? Joi Rebills coil up?!
**[21:19] Jii**
P-Prince!
**[21:21] Kat**
You'd best be careful.
**[21:22] Kat**
Joi Rebills adapt to their surroundings
and hide their presence.
**[21:27] Kat**
Do you know what that's called?
**[21:31] Kat**
Stealth.
**[21:32] G**
Unhand the prince!
**[21:34] Kat**
An ark to safeguard the species?
**[21:37] Kat**
Don't be such cheapskates.
**[21:41] Kat**
Why not build an ark big enough
to save the entire planet?
**[21:49] Hata**
No, wait... Don't...
**[21:53] ---**
I'm... I'm gonna... I'm gonna... I'm gonna...
**[22:04] Hata**
I puked...
***SIGN*** To Be Continued
***SIGN*** Preview
**[23:39] King**
I don't have long left.
**[23:41] King**
So I must resolve this problem before I go.
**[23:46] G**
That's what you call a king.
**[23:49] E**
My name is Dragonia.
***SIGN*** Silver Soul Arc
***SIGN*** Men Must Live Not Long
or Thick, but Hard
***SIGN*** Huh? Wait a second.
***SIGN*** What kind of story is starting up here?
***SIGN*** What about the gang in space? Who the hell is Dragonia?
***SIGN*** If that's what you're thinking, look forward to next week!