# 342 - Try As You Might to Make a Natural Perm Go Away, It Will Always Return
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/GYQ4MKDZ6/gintama)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:05] Shin**
* With the assassination of the 14th*
* shogun, Tokugawa Shigeshige-sama,*
***SIGN*** A New Shogun Is Appointed
**[00:10] Shin**
* we were swallowed whole*
* by the winds of change.*
**[00:15] Shin**
*The Shinsengumi disbanded,*
**[00:16] Shin**
* and no matter how many sacrifices had*
* to be made, the desire to protect Edo*
**[00:20] Shin**
*set each of us on a search for our own path.*
**[00:24] Shin**
* Following a fierce battle on*
* Kagura-chan's home planet, Rakuyo,*
**[00:28] Shin**
*the untold past*
**[00:30] Shin**
* and the true goal of the immortal Naraku*
* leader, Utsuro, were revealed to us.*
**[00:38] Shin**
* He made the Altana reserves of seven*
* planets go berserk, destroying them.*
**[00:42] Shin**
* The Tendoshu's Altana Preservation Agency*
* had monopolized the universe's Altana,*
**[00:47] Shin**
* but Utsuro's actions meant that it was*
* freed and essentially relinquished.*
**[00:53] Shin**
* The planets that retook their Altana*
* decided to end the Agency's rule,*
**[00:57] Shin**
* and to that end, formed the*
* Altana Liberation Army*
**[00:59] Shin**
* and descended upon Earth,*
* where the Tendoshu were.*
**[01:03] Shin**
* Utsuro's goal was to use*
* this interplanetary war*
**[01:07] Shin**
*to turn Earth into space dust.*
**[01:11] Shin**
*Our final battle is about to begin.*
**[01:19] Mad**
*We can't give up.*
**[01:22] Mad**
* Even if we find ourselves*
* in the depths of despair*
**[01:26] Mad**
*or within the darkest abyss,*
**[01:30] Mad**
*as long as we keep our eyes open,*
**[01:33] Mad**
*we can still find a ray of hope.*
***SIGN*** Watch the Silver Soul Arc in a bright room
and at a safe distance from your TV!!
**[01:37] W**
He's been at it for about an hour now.
**[01:40] W**
It's scary, Officer. Can you
do something about him?
**[01:44] O**
Hey, what's the matter?
**[01:47] O**
Did you drop something down there?
**[01:49] O**
Hey, are you okay?
**[01:52] O**
Are you stuck? You can't get out?
**[01:59] O**
Hang on! We'll get you
out of there right now!
**[02:04] G**
He's totally stuck.
**[02:06] O**
Yeah. One, two...
**[02:09] Mad**
*I won't give up!*
**[02:11] Mad**
*I won't ever...*
**[02:16] O**
What's that light?
**[02:20] Mad**
*...give up!*
***SIGN*** Children's Bank
**[02:42] Mad**
Go to hell, world!
**[02:45] Oto**
It really will!
**[02:47] Oto**
Why are you wallowing in such trivial
despair when Edo is in peril?
**[02:52] Oto**
Do you realize the situation we're in?
**[02:55] Mad**
Who cares about Edo?
**[02:57] Mad**
Peril or not, my life is on
the brink of ruin anyway.
**[03:03] Mad**
All this means is that you people have
finally found yourselves in my shoes.
**[03:07] Mad**
Welcome to my world.
**[03:09] Cat**
You know, maybe this guy is
the final villain in this anime.
**[03:13] Oto**
Such is the strength of one
who has nothing to lose.
**[03:15] Oto**
We should all try to
avoid ending up like him.
**[03:19] Tam**
I'm back.
**[03:21] Oto**
How was the town, Tama?
**[03:27] (Flashback) Gen**
It's like we've gone back
in time twenty years.
**[03:30] (Flashback) Gen**
Back to the Amanto invasion.
**[03:31] (Flashback) Gen**
Our country had lived in
isolation for centuries,
**[03:34] (Flashback) Gen**
but aliens suddenly swooped down on it.
**[03:36] (Flashback) Gen**
People ran around in constant fear of them,
**[03:39] (Flashback) Gen**
and in their place, the Amanto walked
around like they owned the place.
**[03:43] (Flashback) Gen**
Basically, that fear has
reared its ugly head again.
**[03:47] (Flashback) Tae**
It's like we're a colony.
**[03:50] (Flashback) Kyu**
We actually are.
**[03:51] (Flashback) Kyu**
Sure, there was no war, but this
country's under their rule now.
**[03:56] (Flashback) Kyu**
The Altana Liberation Army is an allied front
against the Altana Preservation Agency.
**[04:04] (Flashback) Kyu**
Their goal is to wipe out the Agency.
**[04:07] (Flashback) Kyu**
They've already crushed the Agency's
bases on several other planets
**[04:11] (Flashback) Kyu**
and taken back the Altana
that was under its control.
**[04:14] (Flashback) Kyu**
And they've cornered the Tendoshu,
who are in this country,
**[04:18] (Flashback) Kyu**
and taken over most of the
major government bureaus.
**[04:21] (Flashback) Kyu**
But the Tendoshu went into hiding,
**[04:25] (Flashback) Kyu**
and the shogun, who was supposed to sort
out this mess, can't be reached, either.
**[04:29] (Flashback) Kyu**
The bakufu has collapsed,
**[04:32] (Flashback) Kyu**
meaning there's nothing left
to defend the people anymore.
**[04:38] (Flashback) Kyu**
Our country may have been done
for long before all of this.
**[04:45] (Flashback) Tsu**
So we were caught in the crossfire between
the Tendoshu and the Liberation Army?
**[04:51] (Flashback) Tsu**
If so, can we resolve this by bringing
the Tendoshu's heads to them?
**[04:56] (Flashback) Sac**
It's not just the Tendoshu.
**[04:59] (Flashback) Sac**
Taking over this planet is
part of their plan, too.
**[05:03] (Flashback) Tsu**
Should we chase those rowdies out, then?
**[05:06] (Flashback) Sac**
At this point,
**[05:08] (Flashback) Sac**
what moron would turn the entire universe against them by fighting?
**[05:11] (Flashback) Tsu**
You know who.
**[05:14] (Flashback) Tsu**
Tama-san...
**[05:15] (Flashback) All**
Where are they now?
***SIGN*** Odd Jobs Gin-chan
**[05:24] Oto**
I wonder where those morons
are and what they're up to.
***SIGN*** Odd Jobs Gin-chan
***SIGN*** Snack Otose
**[05:32] Mad**
*We can't give up.*
**[05:38] A**
You dare insult us?!
**[05:41] A**
We're fighting to liberate people all across
the universe from the Tendoshu's rule.
**[05:47] A**
Are you saying you're not willing
to cooperate with our effort?
**[05:49] G**
P-Please spare me!
**[05:51] G**
I'm just an old man living
each day as it comes!
**[05:55] G**
My house is all empty now!
There's nothing more I can offer you!
**[06:00] A**
That so? We'll take that house, then.
**[06:08] Mad**
* Even if we find ourselves*
* in the depths of despair...*
**[06:14] A**
You have some nerve to serve this
awful booze to the Liberation Army.
**[06:18] A**
Are you one of the Agency's minions?
**[06:21] W**
N-No!
**[06:23] A**
Then bring us the most
expensive booze you've got!
**[06:26] A**
Okay, you've had too much to drink.
**[06:30] Mad**
*...or within the darkest abyss...*
**[06:35] A**
Huh? What are you doing?
**[06:40] A**
I'd heard that this planet was home to proud
warriors you can't find anywhere else,
**[06:46] A**
but did you lose your pride along with your
change while living under Tendoshu rule?
**[06:53] A**
Well, go ahead and pick them up.
**[07:00] A**
Even after the Tendoshu are gone,
**[07:02] A**
you people will never get
back what you've lost.
**[07:10] Mad**
*...as long as we keep our eyes open,*
**[07:19] Mad**
*we can still find a ray of hope.*
***SIGN*** Odd Jobs Gin-chan
***SIGN*** Job Request
**[07:33] Mad**
*To Odd Jobs,*
**[07:35] Mad**
*I've gathered the wishes of Edo's citizens.*
**[07:45] Mad**
*This job request entails just one task:*
**[07:51] Mad**
* taking back the land of*
* the samurai together.*
**[07:57] A**
Who the hell are you?
**[08:02] Mad**
Immigration Bureau Chief,
**[08:05] Mad**
Hasegawa Taizo!
***SIGN*** Job Request
**[08:19] Oto**
Looks like a temple's offering box, huh?
**[08:21] Oto**
After learning that there
are no gods in our world,
**[08:25] Oto**
I guess people turned to
this place as a last resort.
**[08:28] Oto**
Who knows what they prayed to
those blights on society for?
**[08:32] Oto**
All this money is going to be used for
is to pay off the rent they owe me.
**[08:38] Tae**
I'm sure these people don't mind.
**[08:41] Tae**
Even if they're blights on society, and
this money will only be used to pay rent,
***SIGN*** Job Request
**[08:45] Tae**
it's okay if it brings Odd Jobs back here.
**[08:48] Tae**
That's what everyone wants.
**[08:53] Oto**
Is that so? How charitable of them.
**[08:56] Oto**
If it were me, I'd wish for
something more concrete.
**[08:59] Tae**
Like what?
**[09:01] Oto**
"I hope more rent money piles up here."
***SIGN*** Job Request
**[09:05] Tae**
Isn't that great? Your wish
has already come true.
**[09:12] Oto**
Good grief.
**[09:13] Oto**
Looks like I'll need not just rent money,
but also money for repairs now.
**[09:22] Mad**
I won't let you do as you please
in this country anymore.
**[09:25] A**
Immigration Bureau?
**[09:28] A**
Forget that, this country's entire
government is already dea—
**[09:31] Mad**
It's not dead.
**[09:35] Mad**
The country may have fallen,
**[09:39] Mad**
but the samurai still live.
**[09:44] Mad**
Those guys will come back.
**[09:47] Mad**
So we have to defend this
country until they do.
**[09:52] Mad**
We can't waste time wallowing in despair.
**[09:55] Mad**
Kid, we may not be aware of it,
**[09:59] Mad**
but we all live atop a pit of despair.
**[10:01] Mad**
Tomorrow, we could lose our
job, have nothing to eat,
**[10:05] Mad**
or poop our pants at temple school.
**[10:08] Mad**
Even the slightest slip-ups like those
can make despair bare its fangs at us.
**[10:14] Mad**
I used to wonder why I was
the only one suffering.
**[10:17] Mad**
But maybe I needed to go through
those times to stand here today.
**[10:21] Mad**
Maybe I needed that in order to prop up
Edo when all of it fell into despair.
**[10:27] Mad**
To become the last watchman of despair.
**[10:31] Mad**
But while despair can bare
its fangs at any moment,
**[10:34] Mad**
so too can hope.
**[10:36] Mad**
In my eyes, this despair is
just one of countless many.
**[10:41] Mad**
It's so trivial that just finding a coin
on the street will make it evaporate.
**[10:48] Mad**
Come, let's go find a ray
of hope within this despair.
**[10:53] Mad**
Take me to your boss. As Immigration
Bureau Chief, I need to talk to him.
**[10:59] Kid**
Mister!
**[11:01] Mad**
Kid...
**[11:02] Mad**
No, people of Edo.
**[11:05] Mad**
Even if you're surrounded by
despair, keep your eyes open.
**[11:08] Mad**
As long as you do,
**[11:11] Mad**
you'll find hope lying around everywhere.
**[11:15] Kid**
Uh, you're the one lying on the ground!
**[11:19] A**
Okay, that should be enough.
**[11:22] A**
What do we do with him?
**[11:24] A**
Throw him in a cell or something.
**[11:26] A**
Sir!
**[11:31] Mad**
Um, didn't you hear me? I asked you to...
ow, ow, ow... take me to your HQ...
**[11:37] A**
And why should we do that?
**[11:39] Mad**
I mean, I'm from the Immigration Bureau!
**[11:42] A**
Where's your ID?
**[11:43] Mad**
Well, we're closed right now,
so I don't have it on me.
**[11:45] A**
Okay, take him away.
**[11:47] Mad**
Wait, wait, wait!
**[11:49] Mad**
Look, that kid's staring at me.
**[11:51] Mad**
He's watching the guy who was ranting
about hope fall into despair in an instant!
**[11:56] Mad**
Spare a thought for him, would
you? Spare me, would you?
**[11:59] Mad**
Take a hint, would you?!
**[12:01] A**
Nobody asked you to save him.
**[12:03] Mad**
I'll kowtow to you later!
I'll lick your shoes or whatever!
**[12:07] Mad**
Could you let me into your HQ,
even if it's just the tip?
**[12:10] A**
Uh, you're basically kowtowing already.
**[12:12] Kid**
M-Mister!
**[12:13] Mad**
Don't look at me like that!
**[12:16] Mad**
Close your eyes and never open them again!
**[12:19] A**
Weren't you telling him to
keep his eyes open earlier?
**[12:22] But**
This planet is as noisy as ever.
**[12:24] Baka**
Maybe a chimpanzee broke out of the zoo.
**[12:28] Baka**
The animals here might go
down with the planet soon.
**[12:33] Baka**
I want to pick up some of
the rare species for myself.
**[12:35] Baka**
Hey, you guys over there.
**[12:38] Baka**
Let me take a look at that chimpanzee.
**[12:50] Oto**
What's this about?
**[12:52] Oto**
I'm sorry to say, but we don't get any
customers as loaded as the Tendoshu.
**[12:56] Oto**
Only stinky, flat-broke old men.
**[12:59] Tama**
If we don't give them all the
money, goods, and food we have,
**[13:02] Tama**
they say they'll consider us the
Tendoshu's minions and destroy the bar.
**[13:05] Cat**
"Liberation Army," my ass!
You guys are just thieves!
**[13:08] Cat**
Otose-san's fortune belongs to me!
**[13:11] Oto**
Uh, you're the thief here.
**[13:12] A**
Securing supplies in a combat zone
is established practice during war.
**[13:16] A**
If you say you're not willing
to cooperate with our effort,
**[13:19] A**
we'll simply take everything by force.
**[13:21] A**
This town seems to have a
lot of hard-headed folk.
**[13:25] A**
Might be easier to destroy it all.
**[13:28] Tae**
You people—
**[13:31] Oto**
Take whatever you want. But it'd be nice
if you could leave my smokes alone.
**[13:36] Tae**
Otose-san!
**[13:37] Oto**
It's fine.
**[13:39] Oto**
Even if it's empty, as long as
you're in it, it's still their home.
**[13:44] A**
Oh, really?
**[13:53] A**
We never cared about this filthy bar, anyway.
***SIGN*** Gin-chan
**[13:57] A**
But it'll make a good example to show
others what happens if they defy us.
**[14:01] A**
We don't need anything
other than these girls.
**[14:04] A**
They'll provide some nice R&R for our
men who are worn out from this long war.
**[14:10] Cat**
You bastards!
**[14:12] Cat**
Are you saying I'm trash like this granny?!
**[14:15] Oto**
That's your problem?!
**[14:16] A**
Move your feet. We're leaving.
**[14:21] Tae**
*Odd Jobs...*
**[14:24] Tae**
*Everyone's wishes...*
**[14:30] [SONG] Sign**
Job Request
**[14:34] Gin**
We've got you covered.
**[14:38] Gin**
Your request has been duly received.
**[14:42] Shin**
What does it involve?
**[14:43] Kag**
Doesn't matter what.
**[14:45] Gin**
From walking your dog to keeping Earth safe,
**[14:49] Gin**
we Odd Jobs will do anything.
***SIGN*** Try As You Might to Make a Natural Perm
Go Away, It Will Always Return
***SIGN*** Gintama
***SIGN*** Silver Soul
**[16:30] Oto**
Boy, you sure kept us waiting.
**[16:33] Oto**
I'd like to say "welcome home,"
**[16:36] Oto**
but you took so long
**[16:38] Oto**
that you no longer have a home.
**[16:43] Gin**
Don't worry about it.
**[16:44] Gin**
We'll take it all back,
**[16:47] Gin**
so let us say it anyway.
**[16:50] All**
We're back.
**[16:56] Gin**
Hey, I dunno if you're heroes or villains,
**[17:01] Gin**
but it looks like you did a number
on this town while we were away.
**[17:05] Gin**
Don't you know?
**[17:07] Gin**
When entering somebody else's
home in this country,
**[17:09] Gin**
both good and evil people
take off their shoes.
**[17:13] Gin**
It's considered basic etiquette.
***SIGN*** Gin-chan
**[17:17] Gin**
Get your filthy feet off of that sign.
**[17:21] Gin**
Don't enter my country with your stinky feet!
**[17:26] A**
Your country doesn't exist anymore!
**[17:36] Gin**
What's wrong, O Great Liberation Army?
**[17:38] Gin**
You can destroy the terminal,
**[17:40] Gin**
but you can't break the
terminal in my crotch?
**[17:43] Gin**
You won't take Earth like this!
**[17:45] Gin**
Do you have it in you to break them all?
**[17:49] Gin**
Everyone in this country, from
cabaret girls to robotic ones,
**[17:52] Gin**
has a big terminal in their pants!
**[17:56] Bo**
Like hell we do!
**[17:57] Gin**
D-Due to an unexpected breakdown,
**[18:00] Gin**
this terminal will be suspending
operations for the day.
**[18:04] Shin**
Serves you right.
**[18:05] Kag**
Quit dawdling about!
**[18:07] Kag**
Abandon the damaged facilities!
Evacuate at once!
**[18:10] Shin**
It broke! A problem child's
terminal snapped it in half!
**[18:13] A**
Don't let them escape!
**[18:14] A**
Shoot them dead!
**[18:18] Gen**
You shitheads are finally back!
***SIGN*** Gen
**[18:22] Gen**
I've tuned up all the robots.
**[18:25] Gen**
A planetary war or a One Year War,
I'm fighting with you, Ginnoji.
**[18:29] Gin**
Your Ginnoji's b*lls got stuck in the tracks.
***SIGN*** Ginnoji
**[18:32] Gin**
He's just Ginnji now.
***SIGN*** Ginnji
**[18:34] Gen**
What, you're already out of gas?
**[18:37] Gen**
Do you know how long I've
waited for this moment?
**[18:43] Gen**
The party's only just getting started!
**[18:46] Oto**
Sheesh. This is why men are so hopeless.
**[18:50] Oto**
You've got a look of pure joy on
your face at a time like this.
**[18:54] Oto**
It's like the person you waited
for forever has returned.
**[19:00] Gen**
Shut it, hag. My son doesn't have a perm.
**[19:03] Oto**
I never said anything about your son.
**[19:05] Gen**
And you're one to talk.
**[19:07] Gen**
Your house just got leveled,
but that look on your face...
**[19:10] Oto**
Just so you know, my husband
doesn't look that stupid.
**[19:15] Gen**
Right.
**[19:16] Gen**
But if my son and your husband
were still living in this town,
**[19:22] Gen**
they'd probably have the same
look on their faces as us.
**[19:37] Gen**
Really, this is how the
Kabuki District's gotta be!
**[19:43] A**
What do you knaves think you're doing?!
**[19:46] A**
Do you realize who we are?
**[19:49] A**
We're the Liberation Army, here to
save you from the Tendoshu's clutches!
**[19:55] Sai**
Liberation? Mind your own business.
**[19:58] Sai**
We don't need your help.
**[20:01] Sai**
As you can see...
**[20:02] Ago**
...we've always lived freely!
**[20:05] A**
Wh-What are those monsters?
**[20:07] 73**
You can say some good things
once in a while, Saigo!
**[20:12] 73**
Exactly!
**[20:14] 73**
We're free people of this town of freedom!
**[20:16] 73**
Be it shakin' off the Tendoshu's rule,
**[20:19] 73**
brushin' aside the shady helping
hand of the Liberation Army,
**[20:23] 73**
or goin' to the hospital, we're
free to do whatever we want!
**[20:26] G**
Bro!
**[20:27] G**
That's what you get for trying to compete
with Saigo and jumping from that high!
**[20:30] Shin**
Saigo-san! Katsuo-san!
**[20:33] Sai**
You've really sent the sparks flying, Pako.
**[20:36] Sai**
But I've been waiting for this.
**[20:38] Sai**
The Kabuki District really isn't
complete without morons like you guys.
**[20:42] 73**
You're puttin' us yakuza to
shame with this reckless fight.
**[20:45] 73**
Boss left this town in our hands,
but we're losin' all face here!
**[20:48] Sai**
You're picking a big fight
with the entire universe.
**[20:51] 73**
Got any chance of winnin'?
**[20:53] Gin**
Hell no.
**[20:55] Gin**
Even if we all fight together,
there's no way we can win.
**[21:00] Gin**
That's why we're gonna stop this war.
**[21:02] Gin**
Sure, we'll still have to win a fight anyway,
**[21:07] Gin**
but only a verbal one.
**[21:12] G**
The samurai are revolting?
**[21:14] G**
Are they out of their minds?
**[21:16] G**
Do those apes really think they
can beat the allied forces?
**[21:19] G**
They must have gotten fed up
with the army's pillaging.
**[21:22] G**
I suppose we gave the
soldiers too much leeway.
**[21:25] G**
But this is perfect.
**[21:27] G**
We planned on taking over Earth
after destroying the Agency anyway.
**[21:31] G**
And now we have just cause to
get rid of those annoying apes.
**[21:34] G**
Pardon me.
**[21:35] G**
What is it? We're in the
middle of a meeting here.
**[21:37] G**
An Earth government has sent an envoy.
**[21:40] G**
Government? They still had one of those?
**[21:44] G**
Are they here to apologize?
**[21:45] G**
W-Well...
**[21:47] Sak**
Yikes. That's one hell of a way
ta welcome unarmed guests.
**[21:52] Kat**
Indeed.
**[21:53] Kat**
You're betraying your leader's
lack of magnanimity.
**[21:57] Kat**
Lower your weapons! This is an affront!
**[21:59] Sak**
Who do you think this man is?
**[22:02] Kat**
This is Lord Tokugawa Nobunobu,
shogun of a nation!
***SIGN*** To Be Continued
***SIGN*** Preview
**[23:42] Sak**
Even if Earth is in peril,
a trader's gotta do business.
**[23:46] Nbnb**
As representative of Earth's people, there
is something I must discuss with you.
***SIGN*** Silver Soul Arc
***SIGN*** Flavoring Is Best in Small Quantities
**[23:53] SignR**
The shogun, Tokugawa Nobunobu, was supposed to be a bitter enemy.
**[23:53] SignL**
What lies behind his tense expression...
**[23:58] SignR**
Schemes run rampant both on the surface and in space.
**[23:58] SignL**
Even a new character appears.