337 - Wash Your Hands Before a Handshake

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] Otsu
    The broadcast law can go to hell
[00:09] Otsu
    There's no turning back now
[00:16] Otsu
    Go to hell!
[00:20] Otsu
    Everyone, thank you dingleberries!
[00:23] Shin
    Dingleberries!
[00:26] Otsu
    Let's keep this show going anurarihyon!
[00:27] Gin
    What's with Otsu-chan lately?
[00:29] Shin
    Nurarihyon!
[00:29] Gin
    Hasn't she lost some steam?
[00:32] Shin
    Not true!
[00:33] Shin
    As always, any CD she releases
    ranks high on the Edocon charts!
[00:36] Gin
    Sure, but up-and-coming idols
    are ranking even higher.
[00:40] Gin
    Like EDO48 and NippleClo Z.
[00:43] Gin
    Nowadays, group units are
    more popular than solo acts.
[00:47] Gin
    At this rate, Otsu-chan will lose popularity,
[00:50] Gin
    fight with her agency over money,
[00:53] Gin
    and as she fades from memory, re-debut
    under some label like ****** or .
[00:59] Shin
    Don't jinx her!
[01:00] Shin
    The public eye always tends to wander,
[01:02] Shin
    but only the real deal
    will remain in the end!
[01:04] Shin
    So Terakado Tsu will be the last woman
    standing after this Warring Idols Era!
[01:09] Gin
    Are you stupid? Idols are all just little brats
    decked out in dreams and fantasies.
[01:13] Gin
    There are no fakes or real deals among them.
[01:16] Gin
    Sure, Otsu-chan is cute and a good singer.
[01:19] Gin
    But if she stands alone on stage,
[01:22] Gin
    the audience only gets a vague
    idea of how good she is.
[01:26] Gin
    But if you put her in a
    group with five or six uggos,
[01:29] Gin
    even an idiot could clearly recognize
    how cute and how good she is.
[01:33] Shin
    I don't know if you really need the uggos...
[01:36] Shin
    But you're right. That's a
    group's biggest advantage.
[01:39] Gin
    Basically,
[01:41] Gin
    she needs 47 uggos.
[01:43] Shin
    What kind of 48 is that?!
[01:45] Shin
    Are they re-enacting the Chushingura?!
[01:47] Gin
    If that's not possible, she can
    just go for the 48-position bingo.
[01:51] Shin
    Why are we back to her 
    making a Muteki debut?!
[01:53] Shin
    Anyway, a solo act may only go so far,
[01:56] Shin
    but with some other members who
    all make each other look good,
[01:59] Shin
    Otsu-chan might hit even bigger heights.
[02:01] Shin
    But where will she find idols who
    can compete with her potential?
[02:06] Sayo
    Otsu-chan really is cute.
[02:09] Sayo
    I wonder how you become an idol.
[02:11] Sayo
    I didn't really get it,
[02:13] Sayo
    but Gin-chan said anyone can
    get in by selling pillow talk.
[02:17] Say
    Really? They sell pillows?
[02:20] Kag
    Yup. Apparently, for most
    idols, that's their main job.
[02:24] Say
    They're selling pillows while
    singing? That must be hard.
[02:28] P
    You're wrong, miss.
[02:31] P
    An idol's real job isn't
    to sing or sell pillows.
[02:38] P
    It's to sell dreams.
[02:41] P
    If you don't mind, could you join us—no,
[02:45] P
    join Terakado Tsu and
    sell dreams together?
SIGN    Gintama
SIGN    Slip Arc
SIGN    Wash Your Hands Before a Handshake
[04:25] Shin
    What?!
[04:27] Shin
    Kagura-chan, an idol?!
SIGN    Watch the Slip Arc in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!
[04:29] Shin
    And you want to make her 
    form a unit with Otsu-chan?!
[04:31] Shin
    Why are you resorting to such crazy schemes?!
[04:34] Shin
    And you call yourself the agency
    that's backed her all this time?!
[04:37] OMom
    It came as a surprise to me, too.
[04:40] OMom
    I couldn't believe the scout brought in
[04:42] OMom
    the girl from Odd Jobs, who'd
    helped us out in the past.
[04:45] Otsu
    But that's one of our scouts
    for you. He has a keen eye.
[04:48] Otsu
    I think Kagura-chan has all
    the makings of a fine idol.
[04:52] Otsu
    She's fair, has that foreign celeb thing going,
    and you could even call her pretty.
[04:57] Otsu
    And most of all, she looks
    at home doing anything.
[04:59] Shin
    Are there any idols who look
    at home picking their noses?
[05:03] Otsu
    Idols pick their noses, too. Even I—
[05:05] Shin
    No, you don't! Boogers
    don't exist for Otsu-chan!
[05:09] Shin
    Her nostrils are filled with pink,
    heart-shaped, sticky hopes and dreams!
[05:13] Otsu
    Uh, I'm pretty sure boogers would be better.
[05:16] OMom
    We're in the golden age of idol groups.
[05:20] OMom
    If Otsu doesn't do something now,
    she'll fall behind the times.
[05:23] OMom
    So we came up with this plan...
SIGN    Would you like to sing  beside Terakado Tsu?
[05:25] OMom
    A plan to put her in a limited-time unit.
[05:28] OMom
    We call it the "Your Partner
    Is a er" Project.
[05:29] [SONG] ---
    Your Partner Is a er
[05:31] OMom
    While pairing Otsu with a mysterious no-name
    to show a new, charming side of her,
[05:37] OMom
    we'll unearth a new diamond in the rough
    and market her in a package deal with Otsu.
[05:41] Shin
    Unearth? Dig this mine all you want,
    but all you'll find is boogers.
[05:45] OMom
    They may be boogers now,
[05:47] OMom
    but with polishing, they could
    become boogers harder than diamond.
[05:50] Shin
    But they'd still be boogers!
[05:52] OMom
    Anyway, Otsu needs an out-of-the-box partner.
[05:55] OMom
    Help us out.
[05:56] Shin
    Please calm down!
[05:58] Shin
    Do you want to waste all the
    hard work she's put in so far?
[06:01] Shin
    This girl isn't capable of being
    an idol and selling dreams!
[06:03] Shin
    If anything, she was created
    to crush the dreams of men!
[06:06] Shin
    A sad excuse for a Jump heroine!
[06:10] OMom
    Wow! What was that?
[06:11] Kag
    I let you talk, but you're
    just running your mouth now.
[06:14] Kag
    My boogers are already harder than diamonds.
[06:17] Otsu
    She could use that in a hidden
    talent contest for stars, Mom!
[06:21] Otsu
    Do it one more time!
[06:23] Gin
    Okay, that's enough.
[06:26] Gin
    Let's start talking business now.
[06:29] Gin
    She is our agency's main product.
[06:32] Otsu
    Huh?
[06:33] Otsu
    Agency? Product?
[06:35] Gin
    Yes. She's an idol that we developed.
[06:38] Gin
    For more than a decade since the anime began,
[06:39] Gin
    she has held firm as the center 
    heroine and Gintama's idol.
[06:43] Gin
    If we're talking potential, we believe
    she far exceeds your Otsu-chan.
[06:50] G
    Okay. One, two, three.
[06:54] Gin
    So, President, we move forward
    on this as a co-production?
[06:58] OMom
    Yes, that's fine, Producer Sakata.
[07:01] Shin
    Him, a producer? He's just a leech.
[07:04] OMom
    It seems you weren't lying.
[07:07] OMom
    Her rhythm and sharp movements...
[07:09] OMom
    In terms of physical ability,
    she far exceeds Otsu.
[07:13] Gin
    Yeah.
[07:14] Gin
    No idol in the entire universe
    is a match for her on that front.
[07:17] Gin
    Right, Trainer Shimura?
[07:19] Shin
    Wait, I'm a trainer?
[07:22] OMom
    Good looks and great performing ability...
[07:24] OMom
    This may be the birth of a super idol.
[07:26] OMom
    Right, Manager Shimura?
[07:28] Shin
    Wait, am I a trainer or a manager? Pick one.
[07:31] Gin
    The real question is how we market them.
[07:35] OMom
    I'll let you handle that as the producer.
[07:39] OMom
    If we're trying to give
    Otsu a new kind of appeal,
[07:42] OMom
    then we should change
    how we produce her, too.
[07:44] OMom
    You can handle it, right?
[07:46] Gin
    No need to worry. We have an expert
    in idol studies on our side.
[07:50] Gin
    Right, Idol Nerd King?
[07:51] Shin
    Sorry. Could you give me
    a stable role already?
[07:54] OMom
    Show me what you've got,
    Sakata P and Shimura .
[07:59] Shin
    In the end, I'm just a perv?!
[08:03] Shin
    Hey, Gin-san!
[08:04] Shin
    Can you really produce idols?
[08:06] Gin
    As long as Otsu-chan is involved,
[08:08] Gin
    this will make shitloads
    of money, no matter what.
[08:10] Gin
    We should make them feel as indebted
    as possible and fleece them.
[08:15] Shin
    But Otsu-chan now has that
    massive booger stuck to her.
[08:15] G
    Okay. One, two, three.
[08:18] Gin
    What'd I tell you? a diamond shines extra
    bright with boogers all around it.
[08:19] G
    Okay. One, two, three.
[08:22] G
    Okay. One, two, three.
[08:27] Gin
    So, yeah, you'll be working as
    Booger Diamonds 48 from today on.
[08:33] Otsu
    Booger? Wait, that's our unit name, Producer?
[08:37] Otsu
    I don't know about having "booger" in the name.
[08:40] Kag
    She's right.
[08:41] Kag
    As the diamond, I don't mind, but
    put yourself in the booger's shoes.
[08:45] Shin
    Uh, you're the booger here.
[08:46] Gin
    It may sound Japanese, but "booger" means
    "limitless possibilities" in Spanish.
[08:50] Shin
    That's some impressive BS.
[08:51] Gin
    It also means "children of B'z and WANDS."
[08:54] Shin
    Why are you talking about B'z and
    WANDS like they're husband and wife?
SIGN    A Man's Badge of Honor
[08:57] Gin
    I wanna market you like the kid brother in
    the Yokohama Ginbae. Like Shima Daisuke.
SIGN    A Man's Badge of Honor
[09:02] Shin
    That's so old hat.
[09:03] Gin
    Right now, we should use the agency's
    pull to ride on all the coattails.
[09:09] Gin
    We'll handle the approvals later.
[09:10] Shin
    But this is going too far.
    They're idols, you know?
[09:13] Otsu
    I see.
[09:15] Otsu
    But we should at least make
    it a ladies' gang, Producer.
[09:18] Shin
    That's not the issue here, Otsu-chan.
[09:20] Kag
    Yeah, Sugimoto Tetta is cooler
    than Daisuke, Producer!
[09:24] Shin
    What do you think idols are?
[09:26] Shin
    The Daisuke part was all you picked up on!
[09:29] Gin
    How about this, then?
[09:31] Gin
    A long time ago, in a galaxy far away,
[09:34] Gin
    the great artists B'z and WANDS
    gave birth to 48 children.
[09:38] Shin
    Talk about grandiose!
[09:41] Gin
    The children scattered across the universe.
[09:43] Gin
    Among them, the twins that were number
    48—the last of the children—
[09:47] Gin
    descended on a planet called Earth...
[09:49] Shin
    Ah, like how Yukorin said
    she was from Planet Korin?
[09:57] Gin
    ...and made waves across the world.
[09:59] Shin
    Nothing's changed!
[10:01] Shin
    They just became Daisukerin in the end!
[10:03] Gin
    Daisukerin was supposed to make waves
    worldwide, and Booger Diamonds 48...
[10:10] Bo
    ...always supported him.
[10:11] Shin
    Enough about Daisuke!
SIGN    A Man's Badge of Honor
[10:12] Shin
    You two are the ones who need support!
[10:15] Otsu
    But suit-wearing idols
    might be a fresh concept.
[10:18] Otsu
    Wearing pants will limit the fanservice,
    but if we wear skirts instead
[10:22] Otsu
    and have a chic backing band, it could
    make for a cool and cute idol aesthetic.
[10:27] Otsu
    Here we go with "A Woman's Badge of Honor"!
SIGN    A Woman's Badge of Honor
[10:30] Shin
    Uh, the costumes are nice,
    but what about the song?
[10:32] Shin
    It's still stuck to the Daisuke thing.
[10:34] Kag
    How about this, then?
[10:36] Kag
    Here we go with "The Mark of a Woman," 'kay?
SIGN    The Mark of a Woman
[10:40] Shin
    Uh, that sounds like something else entirely.
[10:41] Gin
    This should do it, then.
SIGN    That Day of the Month
[10:45] Shin
    What're you trying to make idols sing?!
[10:47] Shin
    That's what "A Woman's
    Badge of Honor" was about?
[10:49] Shin
    That's what "The Mark of a Woman" meant?!
[10:51] Gin
    Hey, don't jump to conclusions.
[10:54] Gin
    By "that day of the month," we mean...
SIGN    That Day of the Month
[10:57] Gin
    ...that day when there's a lot of
    Daisuke in the backing band.
[10:59] Shin
    What kinda day is that?!
[11:00] Shin
    You again? You came home with your
    tail between your legs again?!
[11:04] Shin
    What happened to going into politics?!
[11:06] Gin
    Daisukerin made a comeback to
    showbiz, and Booger Diamonds 48...
[11:11] Bo
    ...still supports him!
[11:13] Shin
    Forget about Daisuke already!
[11:16] Shin
    Anyway, why don't we look at the big picture?
[11:20] Shin
    What kind of personalities
    will they be playing?
[11:23] Gin
    They're B'z and WANDS's children, right?
[11:25] Gin
    They can just end every sentence with "zu."
[11:27] Tamo
    Here are our guests for today.
[11:29] Bo
    Hello. We are Booger Diamondzu 48zu.
[11:33] Shin
    They sound like hicks. Sounds
    like they're speaking a dialect.
[11:35] Crowd
    Right.
[11:37] Gin
    Then instead of "zu," let's go with "z."
SIGN    Zu
[11:39] Tamo
    Cut your hair?
[11:40] Kag
    I did, yezzz...
[11:41] Shin
    She fell asleep!
[11:43] Crowd
    Right.
[11:44] Gin
    Forget "z," then. Let's go with "s."
[11:46] Kag
    Lost your hair?
[11:48] Shin
    She just became a sadist!
[11:49] Crowd
    Right.
[11:50] Gin
    Let's do this, then.
[11:52] Kag
    It's time for a short break, I'll never
    hurt you in all my love and selfishness.
[11:57] Otsu
    Don't change the channel, let's rend this
    moment with bullets from a rusty gun!
[12:01] Shin
    Those verbal tics are too long!
[12:02] Shin
    Why song titles as a verbal tic?
    That's too much love and selfishness!
[12:05] Shin
    Tamo-san will rust away
    before they finish talking!
[12:08] Gin
    Quit complaining when you
    don't have any ideas.
[12:11] Gin
    I can't work with you, let's break
    up and I'll vanish from before you.
[12:15] Shin
    Why's the producer using
    Ohguro Maki song titles, too?
[12:17] Gin
    This is a pain.
[12:18] Gin
    Why don't we just have B'z and
    WANDS be the backing bands?
[12:21] Shin
    That'd just be a B'z and WANDS concert!
[12:23] Shin
    They'd eat us alive!
[12:25] Tae
    Shin-chan's right.
[12:27] Tae
    You're on the right track with B'z and WANDS,
[12:31] Tae
    but you're overlooking something
    important, Producer Sakata.
[12:35] Shin
    Sis?
[12:37] Tae
    Sorry for barging in.
[12:39] Tae
    I heard Kagura-chan was going to
    debut, so I wanted to cheer her on.
[12:43] Tae
    Here, I brought refreshments.
[12:44] Kag
    Boss lady!
[12:46] Tae
    I was just going to give you this and leave,
[12:48] Tae
    but I couldn't let it slide.
[12:50] Otsu
    Wow! What is this?
[12:52] Tae
    Producer Sakata.
[12:54] Tae
    You don't understand a thing.
[12:56] Tae
    All you're thinking about is how to market,
    how to make the audience happy.
[12:59] Tae
    It's all about the audience.
[13:02] Tae
    But the enemy isn't only in front of you.
[13:05] Tae
    The real enemy lurks behind the girls.
[13:09] Tae
    The backing band and backup dancers.
[13:11] Tae
    Don't you know how many
    idols they've gobbled up?
[13:15] Shin
    What're you talking about?!
[13:16] Tae
    Think back to Asa **** and Ham 
[13:20] Tae
    and how backup whatevers are always
    taking idols from the back.
[13:25] Shin**
    Yes, it happens a lot, but so what?!
[13:26] Tae
    They pretend to be on the idols' side,
[13:29] Tae
    but they always target them
    from the defenseless back,
[13:33] Tae
    sharpening their nails to strike.
[13:35] Tae
    And the moment the idol
    gives them an opening...
[13:37] BD
    Gotcha!
[13:38] Shin
    That backup dancer is way too scary!
[13:41] Tae
    In showbiz, the talent are products.
[13:45] Tae
    Those in the business should never
    ignore the fans and defile that product.
[13:50] Shin
    Otsu-chan!
[13:52] Shin
    Uh, an idol is about to die
    thanks to your refreshments!
[13:56] Tae
    And you men should be aware how
    idols are expected to stay pure.
[14:01] Tae
    Not putting careful thought into choosing
    the backing band is simply preposterous.
[14:05] Tae
    You must reconsider at once.
[14:08] Gin
    Like you'd know anything, outsider.
[14:10] Gin
    Who would you place at the back, then?
[14:14] Kyu
    On guitar, Kyubei!
[14:18] Tsu
    On b-bass, Tsukuyo!
[14:21] Sac
    On drums, Sacchan!
[14:24] Tae
    On castanets, Otae!
[14:27] Tae
    Together, the four of us...
[14:28] All
    ...are Diamond Vacuum!
[14:30] Shin
    You totally wanna eat Otsu-chan alive, too!
[14:32] Shin
    Where'd you come from,
    you brain-dead backing band?!
[14:35] Sac
    What're you saying?
[14:37] Sac
    We, Diamond Vacuum, had promised to make
    our music debut long before you guys.
[14:42] Kyu
    Our chance has finally arrived, Otae-chan.
[14:44] Shin
    No chance in hell! Get outta here!
[14:47] Tae
    We get it.
[14:49] Tae
    We're okay with being the backing band.
[14:51] Tae
    But please don't forget what I said about
    an idol's enemies lurking behind her.
[14:56] Gin
    What are you plotting?!
[14:57] Gin
    And what do you mean,
    "on castanets"? You're useless!
[15:01] Tsu
    Hey, what's "bass"?
[15:03] Tsu
    What, do I have to hit a ball
    with this thing and run to base?
[15:07] Gin
    Who brought this bum here?!
[15:09] Shin
    Get out! All of you get out!
[15:12] OMom
    Producer Sakata is good.
[15:14] OMom
    He's even got a backing band full of beauties.
[15:17] OMom
    This is sure to spur Otsu on.
[15:21] OMom
    Otsu, if you slack off,
    you really will be eaten alive.
[15:25] OMom
    Do your best.
[15:28] Otsu
    Who am I?
[15:32] OMom
    Otsu!
SIGN    Debut Single
    
    An Idol's Badge of Honor
[15:50] S
    Looks like Terakado Tsu's making her move.
[15:52] S
    Booger Diamonds 48, huh?
[15:56] S
    I don't know where she found this
    partner, but she's pretty cute.
[16:01] S
    She truly looks boorish and uncultured,
[16:05] S
    like the poster girl of a
    diner out in the sticks.
[16:08] S
    The perfect partner for her.
[16:13] S
    She should've quietly
    faded away as a solo act.
[16:18] S
    Does she really think she can
    beat us with this partner?
[16:22] S
    Terakado Tsu and Booger Diamonds 48.
[16:26] S
    I can't wait to see what a top
    idol on Earth is like.
[16:32] G
    Wh-What the hell is this?
[16:34] G
    Otsu-chan is making a unit debut?
[16:36] Taka
    This ain't funny! Who the
    hell is this booger girl?
[16:40] G
    We've always worshiped Otsu-chan
    as the one true goddess!
[16:43] G
    How dare they defile her
    with this package deal?!
[16:47] G
    As her fanclub, we will
    never accept this unit!
[16:50] G
    Yeah, yeah!
[16:52] G
    This is bad.
[16:54] G
    Let Captain Shimura know at once!
[16:58] Kag
    Manager Shimura!
[17:00] Otsu
    What're you doing over there?
[17:02] Kag
    Idols are busy people! Get me my
    sukonbu already, you rotten manager!
[17:07] G
    Manager Shimura?
[17:09] G
    Captain!
[17:10] G
    And Otsu-chan, too!
[17:12] G
    What's the meaning of this, Captain?!
[17:14] G
    Surely you didn't make her do this...
[17:16] Shin
    No, that's not it!
[17:18] Shin
    Hey, wait up!
[17:22] Shin
    Don't leave me behind!
[17:25] [SONG] Sign
    Studio Edo
[17:26] Otsu
    La la la, idol
[17:32] Kag
    Accel, consul, it's dreams
    that we sell, 'kay?
[17:38] Gin
    Wait, time out.
[17:39] Gin
    Quit mixing in the 'kays, Kagura.
    You're ruining the lyrics.
[17:43] Gin
    Just forget about your character
    and lay yourself bare.
[17:47] Gin
    Try being plain old Kugimiya-san.
[17:50] Shin
    Aw, the one place where I could shine...
[17:54] Shin
    Producer Sakata, did you
    see how the fans reacted?
[17:57] Shin
    What now? Nobody wants this unit.
[18:01] Gin
    Don't worry.
[18:02] Gin
    I've got a huge event lined
    up for the CD's release.
[18:06] Gin
    The backing band's making
    adjustments for it, too.
[18:06] Tsu
    Why do I have to do this?
[18:08] Gin
    As long as we create enough hype
    by then, it won't be a problem.
[18:11] Gin
    You fell in love with Otsu-chan when
    you watched her street concerts, right?
[18:16] Gin
    Real popularity is always built
    up slowly and steadily like that.
[18:20] Gin
    People who become fans overnight
    also leave overnight.
[18:23] Gin
    There are no shortcuts in
    showbiz, Manager Shimura.
[18:27] Shin
    That's true.
[18:29] Gin
    I feel bad for Otsu-chan, but she'll
    have to forget she's a top idol
SIGN    Pillow Talk Meet
SIGN    As long as you give us money, we'll sell  you dreams, pillows,  or whatever.
[18:33] Gin
    and start over from sales.
SIGN    Pillow Talk Meet
[18:37] Shin
    What's slow and steady about this?!
[18:38] Shin
    What do you mean, pillow talk meet?
[18:40] Shin
    What're you trying to make idols do?!
[18:42] Gin
    It's basically a meet-and-greet.
[18:44] Gin
    You know how "idols you can
    meet" are all the rage?
[18:47] Gin
    We'll go with "idols you can pillow talk."
[18:49] Shin
    You can't call those idols!
[18:51] Gin
    Relax. I know it says pillow talk,
SIGN    Otsu
[18:54] Gin
    but this is just a meet-and-greet where
    we sell expensive autographed pillows.
[18:57] Shin
    That's basically a scam!
SIGN    Kagura
[19:00] G
    Pillow talk with Otsu-chan!
[19:03] Shin
    A whole horde of men showed
    up with the wrong idea!
[19:06] Gin
    Looks like it worked.
[19:08] Shin
    Like hell! This is too risky!
[19:10] Gin
    Meet-and-greets are always full of risks.
[19:13] Gin
    All idol nerds touch their
    dcks before going to those.
[19:17] Gin
    The idols and fans both get covered in dck.
[19:19] Gin
    In the end, it just becomes
    dcks shaking hands with dcks.
[19:22] Shin
    What kind of risk are
    you even talking about?!
[19:23] Kag
    Ugh, are you serious? That's horrible.
[19:26] Kag
    Make them disinfect before shaking hands.
[19:28] Shin
    An idol with her hand covered
    in boogers shouldn't talk!
[19:31] Otsu
    It's okay. If this made me lose heart,
     I'd never make it as an idol.
[19:35] Gin
    That's a pro for you.
[19:36] Gin
    Don't worry. We'll protect
    you if anything happens.
[19:40] Kag
    Promise?
[19:42] Kag
    Come save us at once if
    anyone dangerous shows up.
[19:45] Shin
    The idol's more dangerous!
[19:46] Kag
    Okay, next.
[19:48] Kag
    Okay, next.
[19:49] Shin
    Wait, wait, wait!
[19:50] Kag
    Okay, next.
[19:52] Shin
    Forget meet-and-greet! This has become
    Hanayama Kaoru's Vice Grip Meet!
[19:52] Kag
    Okay, next.
[19:54] Kag
    Okay, next.
[19:56] Kag
    Okay, next.
[19:57] Kag
    Huh? I'm not supposed to
    send them to the pillows?
[20:00] Shin
    This isn't what pillow business means!
[20:01] Shin
    They're all dying off before they
    can reach Otsu-chan, their goal!
[20:04] G
    Screw you! I came here 'cause I heard
    I could pillow talk with Otsu-chan!
[20:08] G
    We can't even shake her hand like this!
[20:10] G
    Gimme back my money!
[20:12] Shin
    This is bad, Producer Sakata!
[20:14] Shin
    We won't get popular like
    this! We'll get sued!
[20:16] Gin
    Rest assured. All of this
    was just a sideshow.
[20:19] Gin
    The main event starts now.
SIGN    Otsu
SIGN    Kagura
[20:21] Gin
    Anyone who buys a pillow
[20:23] Gin
    will get a Booger Diamonds
    48 lap pillow coupon!
[20:28] Shin
    What do you think you're saying, Gin-san?
[20:30] Gin
    What's wrong with lap pillows?
    It's not like they lose anything.
[20:33] Kag
    Yeah, sounds good.
[20:35] Kag
    Take this.
[20:35] Kag
    Lap Pillow Punch!
[20:37] Shin
    There's nothing good about this!
[20:38] Kag
    Lap Pillow Punch!
[20:39] Shin
    Who asked you to use that
    random martial art?!
[20:40] Kag
    Lap Pillow Punch!
[20:41] Kag
    Lap Pillow Punch!
[20:42] Shin
    What the hell is a Lap Pillow
    Punch? It's just a knee strike!
[20:45] Kag
    I sleep better with a hard pillow.
[20:48] Shin
    Nobody cares about your pillow preferences!
[20:51] Shin
    I know you sleep like a log,
    but that doesn't matter!
[20:53] C
    Knock it off! We're not here
    to visit some S&M club!
[20:56] C
    You really call yourself idols?!
[20:58] Shin
    Sakata P!
[20:59] Gin
    That was a sideshow, too.
SIGN    Otsu
SIGN    Kagura
[21:01] Gin
    Anyone who buys a pillow
[21:03] Gin
    will get to sleep for a tiny bit with
    Booger Diamonds 48 on that very pillow!
[21:08] Kag
    Zzz...
[21:10] Kag
    No, that's my Happy Turn!
[21:14] Gin
    That was a sideshow, too!
[21:16] Gin
    If you buy right here and now,
[21:18] Gin
    you get a special price of 49,800 yen
    and 4 bonus pillow storage boxes!
[21:23] Shin
    Now you're just Suckerta
    on the TV Shopping Network!
[21:25] G
    What the hell is wrong with these guys?
[21:27] G
    Screw this! Let's bounce!
[21:29] Shin
    Hey, wait!
[21:32] S
    Aw, the poor things. How could
    you be so mean to your fans?
[21:37] S
    To idols, the fans are gods.
[21:40] S
    We would never let you look
    so sad when you leave.
[21:47] G
    That's...
[21:47] S
    Why? Because...
[21:51] S
    Tubular!
[21:52] S
    We provide dreams to all of space
[21:55] S
    as the special unit of galactic idols.
[21:57] S
    That is why.
[22:01] Shin
    Galaxy Kingdom Bitches 48?!
SIGN    To Be Continued
SIGN    Preview
[23:39] Kag
    What's with these girls?
[23:41] Kag
    I can't believe they can
    say "tubular" when sober.
[23:43] Kag
    We'll see if you can maintain that attitude
    after you watch our meet-and-greet.
SIGN    Diamonds are Unscratchable
[23:47] Kag
    Next time: "Diamonds are Unscratchable."
SIGN    Preview
[23:50] S
    They might not let us, even
    if this is a late-night slot.
SIGN    We've already pulled all kinds of crap over the years.
SIGN    What can they possibly  be planning to pull now?
SIGN    When GKB48 challenge them,
SIGN    how will BDZ48 respond?!