# 265 - Dog Food Doesn't Have As Much Flavor As You'd Think
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/GYQ4MKDZ6/gintama)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Dog Food Doesn't Have As Much Flavor As You'd Think
**[01:41] Gin**
What's that look for?
**[01:43] Gin**
Got a problem?
**[01:45] Gin**
If it's not enough, eat the meatballs
on the bottoms of your feet.
***SIGN*** meatball (paw pads)
***SIGN*** Sorry, Sadaharu.
**[01:49] Kag**
You'll have to make do with this today.
**[01:51] Kag**
Odd Jobs is going through
a food shortage right now.
**[01:54] Kag**
We're all starving.
**[01:58] Kag**
That's a good boy.
**[02:00] Kag**
Gin-chan, Sadaharu understands.
**[02:02] Gin**
Good.
**[02:03] Gin**
Then the three of us can split this.
**[02:07] Both**
Thanks.
**[02:10] Shin**
What the hell?!
**[02:12] Shin**
Don't you have any human dignity?!
**[02:15] Shin**
You shouldn't steal food from your
pet, no matter how hungry you are!
**[02:17] Shin**
You should be ashamed!
**[02:19] Gin**
Can you blame us?
**[02:20] Gin**
It's been ages since
we last had a client,
**[02:22] Gin**
so we don't have a single
grain of rice left.
**[02:26] Gin**
The situation's so grim
**[02:27] ---**
that we may go from eating dog
food to eating the dog for food.
**[02:30] Shin**
Eating the dog for food?!
**[02:31] Shin**
You're moving from pissing off the
PTA to pissing off PETA now?!
**[02:35] Gin**
What's that about PETA?
**[02:37] Gin**
Does the PTA eat PETA?
**[02:39] Kag**
The PTA only eats up
teachers with an attitude.
**[02:42] Shin**
That's completely different!
**[02:44] Gin**
Quit your bitching.
**[02:45] Gin**
Whose fault do you think this is?
**[02:49] Gin**
It's because of this large animal
that eats a lot and never works,
**[02:53] Gin**
and the glasses boy who just
wears glasses and never works.
**[02:57] Shin**
Hey! You've crossed the line now!
**[02:59] Shin**
Apologize! Apologize to my glasses!
**[03:01] Gin**
Seriously, you should
try to understand
**[03:04] ---**
how hard it is for me to
take care of you all.
**[03:07] Gin**
Hey, you're sporting some
yummy-looking wings.
**[03:10] Shin**
They're not wings!
They're greasy glasses!
**[03:13] Shin**
And they're not greasy!
**[03:14] Kag**
You're wearing shellfish to be fashionable?!
**[03:17] Kag**
Are you supposed to be Takeda Kumiko?!
**[03:18] Shin**
Wait!
**[03:19] Shin**
These people are so hungry
that they're hallucinating!
**[03:22] Kag**
Hand that over!
**[03:23] Shin**
Hey, what are you doing?!
**[03:25] Shin**
Those are my glasses!
**[03:26] Shin**
You can't eat them!
**[03:27] Shin**
Hey!
**[03:28] Shin**
Why are you grilling them?!
**[03:31] Gin**
*You should try to understand how hard
it is for me to take care of you all.*
***SIGN*** Please take me home.
**[05:08] Gin**
*Enough already!*
**[05:10] Gin**
*Egg on rice again?!*
**[05:12] Gin**
*Why do you waste food like this?!*
**[05:15] Kag**
*What food? The fridge was empty.*
**[05:18] Gin**
*Your head is empty!*
**[05:20] Kag**
*Sadaharu puts up with the meager
servings of cheap food we give him.*
**[05:24] Kag**
*Shut up and eat.*
**[05:26] Gin**
*Ah, is that so?*
**[05:27] Gin**
*Here you go then.*
**[05:28] Kag**
*Gin-chan! Sadaharu isn't
your garbage disposal!*
**[05:31] Kag**
*And there's no food left
if you refuse to eat that.*
**[05:34] Gin**
*Sorry, but unlike the rest
of you, I'm a gourmet.*
**[05:38] Gin**
*You animals can have your pet food.*
**[06:18] A**
I-It's so cute!
**[06:21] A**
What is this?!
**[06:22] A**
Where did you find it, Captain Okita?!
**[06:25] Kon**
Hold on, Sogo...
**[06:26] Kon**
Isn't that the Odd Jobs dog?
**[06:29] Oki**
I don't know if he was
dumped or if he ran away,
**[06:31] ---**
but he was urinating in the streets.
**[06:32] Kon**
Uh, so why did you bring him here?
**[06:35] Oki**
Oh, you remember how we screwed up
**[06:37] ---**
the last time we tried to boost
our image with a mascot?
**[06:39] Oki**
We should give it another try.
**[06:41] Oki**
We can make some money by dumping him
**[06:44] ---**
and Hijikata-san at the South Pole
**[06:46] Oki**
and making the one who
returns alive our mascot.
**[06:47] Hiji**
That wouldn't be a mascot!
It'd be a scum-cot!
**[06:51] Hiji**
Give me a break.
**[06:52] Hiji**
We don't need any symbols
of weakness like mascots.
**[06:56] Hiji**
Besides, we already have a
mascot in Kondo-san, you fool.
**[06:59] B**
He's no mascot! He's a shit-cot!
**[07:01] Kon**
Who was that?! Who
called me Ridley Scott?!
**[07:04] Kon**
Thank you!
**[07:04] Hiji**
Nobody had anything
nice to say about you.
**[07:06] Hiji**
And why do we have to take
in their used goods?
**[07:10] Hiji**
He'll interfere with our work.
**[07:11] Hiji**
Get rid of him.
**[07:12] A**
Vice-Chief, are you telling us to
throw out this adorable creature?!
**[07:15] Hiji**
Adorable, my ass.
**[07:17] ---**
I'll have you all commit seppuku
for failing as warriors.
**[07:19] A**
Then you throw it out!
**[07:20] Hiji**
Fine, you fools.
**[07:30] Hiji**
Kondo-san...
**[07:31] Hiji**
I just remembered that we
don't have any police dogs.
**[07:33] A**
You commit seppuku!
**[07:34] Hiji**
Shut up!
**[07:35] Hiji**
I'm just saying that
we need police dogs!
**[07:37] Hiji**
There's nothing adorable
about this furball!
**[07:40] Hiji**
First, we'll run some tests to
see if it's qualified enough!
**[07:43] Hiji**
And I won't go easy on dogs, dammit!
**[07:46] Hiji**
Listen up! Police dogs
depend on their noses.
**[07:49] Hiji**
They need to be able to sniff out
suspects, drugs, and all kinds of stuff.
**[07:54] Hiji**
So here's a test.
**[07:55] Hiji**
Half-fat, quarter-fat,
non-cholesterol, non-oil, mustard.
**[08:00] Hiji**
Can you tell the difference?
**[08:01] A**
They're all mayonnaise!
**[08:04] A**
Hey, what are you planning on
using these police dogs for?!
**[08:05] A**
What kind of crime are
you preparing for?!
**[08:07] Hiji**
First, identify my favorite type.
**[08:09] A**
Uh, nobody knows what you
like! And nobody cares!
**[08:12] Hiji**
Ah, the quarter-fat?
**[08:14] Hiji**
An excellent choice.
**[08:16] Hiji**
But right now, I'm in the
mood for some non-oil.
**[08:18] A**
Your preference changes?!
**[08:20] Hiji**
But I like your taste.
**[08:22] Hiji**
Here's your reward.
**[08:24] Hiji**
Enjoy.
**[08:24] A**
You just wanted to feed
the dog mayonnaise!
**[08:27] Hiji**
Don't be shy.
**[08:29] Hiji**
Hurry up and eat.
**[08:31] Hiji**
Hurry up.
**[08:38] Sa**
Yes, there, there.
**[08:40] Sa**
Honestly, I don't know what happened,
**[08:43] Sa**
but you should probably make up soon.
**[08:46] Sa**
I know.
**[08:47] Sa**
Gin-san isn't the kind of person
who would kick you out.
**[08:51] Sa**
You probably left because he
was being nasty as usual.
**[08:56] Sa**
Unfortunately, I won't be
able to keep you here.
**[09:00] Sa**
You already have a home, after all.
**[09:04] Sa**
But if you plan on making up soon,
you can stay here until then.
**[09:09] Sa**
I can't let Gin-san's precious
pet die on the streets.
**[09:17] Sa**
Stop, that tickles.
**[09:19] Sa**
I envy you.
**[09:21] Sa**
Do you do this with
Gin-san all the time?
**[09:23] Sa**
I wish I could have been
born as Gin-san's pet.
**[09:27] Sa**
Just kidding.
**[09:29] Sa**
I'll go make something to eat.
**[09:31] Sa**
You must be hungry.
**[09:32] Sa**
Wait here.
**[09:40] Sa**
The moment I've been waiting
for has finally come!
**[09:45] Sa**
This is my chance to
become Gin-san's pet!
**[09:48] Sa**
His white fur will be my wedding dress!
**[09:53] Sa**
Hold on, Gin-san.
**[09:54] Sa**
Your cute pet will be coming
back to you soon.
**[10:05] Zura**
Ah, I see.
**[10:07] Zura**
It must have been difficult
to have such a lazy owner.
**[10:10] Zura**
But Sadaharu, I knew that
you would wake up one day.
**[10:14] Zura**
The spirit of the Joi burns within you.
**[10:17] Zura**
I knew that it would guide
you to your true leader.
**[10:20] Zura**
That you would find me.
**[10:22] Zura**
And that is why
**[10:24] Zura**
I've been waiting here since
**[10:26] ---**
that game of Kick the Can
two months ago.
**[10:28] Zura**
You can't have an episode about
Master Shoyo without me.
**[10:33] Zura**
I managed to adjust my
schedule so I could squeeze in,
**[10:36] Zura**
but I didn't expect this to take so long.
**[10:39] Zura**
I'm an expert at hiding,
**[10:41] Zura**
but it's been so long
**[10:42] ---**
that I had to wonder if
the game was already over.
**[10:45] Zura**
If anyone had even noticed
that I was playing...
**[10:49] Zura**
I felt like crying for a moment.
**[10:51] Zura**
Runaway Kotaro tried a
little too hard there.
**[10:55] Zura**
I caused everyone so much trouble.
**[10:57] Zura**
Well, everyone's probably been
worried and looking for me.
**[11:00] Zura**
I should probably head back.
**[11:05] Zura**
Crap...
**[11:06] Zura**
After staying in this position for two
months, my body is stiff as a rock!
**[11:09] Zura**
Zabeth, call for a doctor!
**[11:12] Zura**
How could this happen?
**[11:14] Zura**
I don't think I can last long
enough for sensei to arrive.
**[11:16] Zura**
S-Sadaharu-kun...
**[11:17] Zura**
I apologize.
**[11:19] Zura**
I won't be able to keep my promise
to become your owner.
**[11:22] Zura**
And can you please relay a
message when the doctor comes?
**[11:25] Zura**
Tell him to charge any taxi or
any other transportation costs
**[11:30] Zura**
to sensei.
***SIGN*** Please take me home.
**[12:02] Shin**
Did you see him around here?
**[12:03] A**
Yeah, it was a really big dog,
so it must have been him.
**[12:06] A**
He was dragging a little puppy around.
**[12:10] Kag**
Sadaharu...
**[12:13] Kag**
Sadaharu, where are you?!
**[12:16] Kag**
Say something if you're there!
**[12:18] Kag**
Please come back!
**[12:20] Kag**
Sadaharu!
**[12:39] Shin**
What? Work?
**[12:41] Gin**
Yeah, we finally have a client.
**[12:43] Gin**
No more eating dog food.
**[12:46] Shin**
Weren't you supposed to
be looking for Sadaharu
**[12:48] Shin**
instead of wasting time?
**[12:50] Gin**
Wasting time? Want me to punch you?
**[12:53] Shin**
Aren't you worried about him, Gin-san?
**[12:55] Shin**
Sadaharu hasn't been home in two days.
**[12:59] Shin**
He was starving when he left,
**[13:01] Shin**
and we don't know if he's
gotten anything to eat
**[13:02] Shin**
Sadaharu!
**[13:03] ---**
or if something's happened to him.
**[13:05] Shin**
How can you expect us to work?
**[13:05] Shin**
Come back, Sadaharu!
**[13:08] Gin**
That's not good, Shinpachi-kun.
**[13:09] Gin**
You're thinking like a NEET now.
**[13:13] Gin**
Nothing's happened to him.
**[13:15] Shin**
Huh?
**[13:15] Gin**
He left because he
couldn't get any food.
**[13:19] Gin**
It's that simple.
**[13:22] Gin**
An animal doesn't understand
the concept of family.
**[13:26] Gin**
Besides...
**[13:28] Gin**
I'm not interested in keeping
anyone around who isn't
**[13:30] ---**
willing to share when times are tough.
**[13:32] Gin**
Even if he's just an animal.
**[13:34] Gin**
There you go.
**[13:35] Gin**
If you like dog food, you can eat
it for the rest of your life.
**[13:38] Gin**
I'll go make some money and
have a chocolate parfait.
**[13:41] Shin**
W-Wait, Gin-san!
**[13:44] Shin**
Gin-san!
***SIGN*** Edo Animal Hospital
**[13:48] A**
It's a mononoke!
**[13:49] A**
The dog god Moro has come
to hunt down our patients!
**[13:53] B**
Scram, mountain dog!
**[13:54] B**
This is where humans live!
**[13:56] B**
Mononoke should go back
to the mountains!
**[14:02] A**
It released something!
**[14:04] B**
Be careful!
**[14:04] B**
You'll die if you touch that stuff!
**[14:21] Kag**
*Sadaharu!*
***SIGN*** 1 Fourth St.
***SIGN*** 1 Fourth St.
**[14:46] Gin**
So the owner of this house is dead?
**[14:49] B**
Yes, he died all alone.
**[14:53] B**
He kept a lot of dogs, and there were
**[14:55] B**
many complaints from the neighbors
about the smell and noise.
**[14:59] B**
There was a relative who liked
dogs and visited occasionally,
**[15:03] B**
but it appears that they grew distant.
**[15:06] C**
And the number of dogs was declining.
**[15:08] ---**
There was only one left when he died.
**[15:12] C**
When the neighborhood association
cleaned his place,
**[15:13] ---**
she didn't know what to do
with it, so she threw it out.
**[15:16] D**
W-Well, it was a mutt, sick and
frail, so nobody wanted it.
**[15:22] C**
There have been rumors that
he's been wandering around.
**[15:26] C**
We've been receiving complaints
from various pet owners.
**[15:29] C**
They're worried it may
get their pets sick.
**[15:32] B**
So could you catch it and
dispose of it for us?
**[15:37] Gin**
Is that even necessary? It probably
died already if it was sick.
**[15:41] B**
I hope so, but if we wait for it to
become a problem, it'll be too late.
**[15:45] B**
If it's dying anyway, does it matter
if it happens a little sooner?
**[15:48] C**
Honestly...
**[15:49] C**
That old man left us a
big mess to clean up.
**[15:55] A**
What's this huge dog?!
**[15:59] Gin**
Hey, hey.
**[16:01] Gin**
This stray's bigger than I was expecting.
**[16:04] Gin**
It'll take some effort to dispose of it.
**[16:07] Gin**
You know the puppy they're
talking about, right?
**[16:10] Gin**
If you turn it over,
I'll let you come home.
**[16:13] Gin**
The reward will buy us plenty of
food, so everyone will be happy.
**[16:17] Gin**
Do you see a problem?
**[16:22] C**
Wait up!
**[16:23] B**
Odd Jobs, catch that monster!
**[16:27] B**
Why are you standing there?
Hurry up already!
**[16:35] Gin**
*If you turn it over,
I'll let you come home.*
**[17:02] Gin**
*Then the three of us can split this.*
**[18:56] B**
It stinks!
**[18:57] D**
What's going on?!
**[18:58] D**
Who would do such a thing?!
**[19:00] C**
So many fish...
**[19:04] Gin**
It was our dog.
**[19:06] Gin**
It looked like he was taking
care of that puppy,
**[19:09] Gin**
so I tampered with the
food he was bringing it.
**[19:13] Gin**
Look. See this?
**[19:16] Gin**
My dog is very bright.
**[19:18] Gin**
He fed the puppy poisoned
food to do my job for me.
**[19:26] Gin**
So can you pay up now?
**[19:34] Gin**
Yo, you awake?
***SIGN*** General Animal Hospital
**[19:37] Gin**
You were suffering from malnutrition.
**[19:39] Gin**
They told me I shouldn't have
a pet if I can't feed it.
**[19:44] Gin**
Although you're the one who
ran off and starved yourself.
**[19:48] Gin**
But you helped deal
with the puppy for me.
**[19:54] Gin**
You can eat all you want today.
**[20:00] Gin**
What?
**[20:01] Gin**
I thought you might understand
how it feels to be an owner
**[20:04] ---**
after taking care of that puppy.
**[20:06] Gin**
Were you hoping for fish tails?
**[20:08] Gin**
Or is the portion too small,
considering the reward?
**[20:14] Gin**
Don't blame me.
**[20:15] Gin**
There were a lot of expenses
associated with this job,
**[20:18] Gin**
so I used up most of
the money we received.
**[20:21] Gin**
Besides, the Sakata family always
shares when times are tough.
**[20:27] Gin**
We share the food
**[20:31] Gin**
and the pain.
**[20:37] Gin**
Thanks for sharing.
**[20:43] A**
Thank you so much!
**[20:45] A**
You kept Grandpa's dog safe.
**[20:47] Shin**
Well, you should thank
the big dog inside.
**[20:57] Doc**
Hold on!
**[20:58] Doc**
You haven't paid for all the
medicine you fed the puppy!
**[21:02] Doc**
Hey!
**[21:04] Doc**
Sakata-san! Wait!
**[23:36] Shin**
Hold on a sec!
**[23:37] Shin**
What's this Final Act business?!
**[23:39] Shin**
This is news to me!
**[23:40] Kag**
Well, they're probably just fooling
around again with a fake!
**[23:44] Gin**
Or they're pretending that it's fake.
**[23:45] Kag**
Or it is fake.
**[23:46] Gin**
That's what they want you to think.
**[23:47] Kag**
But it's really fake.
**[23:48] Shin**
You're not making any sense at all!
***SIGN*** We only lasted half a year this time,
***SIGN*** but thank you for all the support.
***SIGN*** The movie is coming up in July,
***SIGN*** so please continue to support Gintama!!
**[23:59] ---**
See you sometime...