262 - The Sound of a Beam Can Pierce Every Heart
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Shimura Ken
[01:33] Otae
Father, it's been a while.
[01:36] Otae
Father, I have something
to tell you today.
[01:39] Otae
I think it's time to begin.
[01:42] Otae
I will become the character
I was created to be.
[01:46] Otae
It's time to restore the Kodokan
Dojo you left us, Father.
[01:51] Otae
Sorry to make you wait 260 episodes.
[01:54] Otae
It's not that I forgot my character.
[01:56] Otae
And I wasn't tired of the role.
[01:58] Otae
I had to save up money first.
[02:01] Otae
I promise to make the dojo better
than when you were still around.
[02:05] Otae
Please support me.
[02:08] Obi
Oh?
[02:09] Obi
Are you Otae-chan?
SIGN The Sound of a Beam Can Pierce Every Heart
SIGN Kodokan Dojo
[02:18] Shin
What?! You want to
recruit new students?!
[02:21] Shin
S-Sis, I thought you forgot the
original purpose of your character!
[02:25] Shin
Weren't you going to
focus on your night dojo?
[02:28] Otae
Please, do I really look like
such a heartless woman?
[02:32] Otae
Do your best and let
nature take its course.
[02:35] Otae
I went to Tsudaya the other day,
[02:37] ---
and I received a signal
that it was time.
[02:39] Shin
It's because you rewatched volume 2
of the DVDs and remembered!
[02:43] Otae
I acquired a fair amount
of money in episode 200,
[02:45] ---
so I think now is the ideal time.
[02:48] Gin
What are you babbling about?
[02:50] Gin
Nobody's gonna pay money to learn
how to use a sword these days.
[02:54] Gin
The age of using swords has ended.
[02:57] Gin
It's now the age of much
younger wives using Kato-chan.
[03:01] Shin
When did we start talking
about Kato-chan and Ken-chan?!
[03:03] Kag
Kids don't dream about becoming
samurai or ninja anymore.
[03:08] Kag
They want to become
Kato-chan's wife or part of
[03:12] ---
a backup band working up
to becoming an idol.
SIGN My Future Dream: Backup Band
[03:14] Shin
We don't live in an age
of evil conspiracies!
[03:17] Otae
That's why this dojo is needed.
[03:19] Otae
A part of ancient Japanese
culture is fading away.
[03:24] Otae
It's our duty to protect it by passing
this knowledge to the next generation.
[03:29] Gin
But do you even know what
a kendo glove smells like?
[03:33] Gin
Those things should get a new job
as the straw used to wrap natto.
[03:38] Gin
And in anime, the mask makes it
impossible to tell who it is.
[03:41] Gin
And when people thrust,
[03:42] ---
you'd think they were striking to kill.
[03:44] Gin
Isn't it our duty to end that
practice with our generation?
[03:47] Shin
Are you really a swordsman?
[03:49] Otae
It's true that there are aspects
that no longer apply,
[03:52] Otae
so I believe it's important to evolve
and adapt certain practices
[03:56] ---
while maintaining the tradition.
[03:59] Otae
The school of Tendo Mushin
needs a slight renewal.
[04:03] Shin
Renewal?
[04:04] Otae
Yes.
[04:10] Otae
To the school of Tendo
Mushin beam sabers!
SIGN Tendo Mushin Beam Sabers
[04:15] Shin
What happened to tradition?!
[04:17] Kag
But beam sabers will resonate with
kids, and maybe with the Amanto.
[04:23] Shin
Uh, that's not the issue here.
[04:25] Shin
And who's going to teach
them how to use beam sabers?
[04:28] Otae
That's all worked out already.
[04:30] Shin
Huh?
[04:31] Otae
I've found the perfect person.
[04:33] Otae
He knows the School of Tendo Mushin
and he can use beam sabers.
[04:37] Shin
Huh?
[04:39] Otae
You'll be so surprised, Shin-chan.
[04:46] Obi
Hey, long time no see.
[04:50] Obi
You've gotten pretty big, Shin-bo!
[05:02] Shin
Ha—
[05:04] Shin
Hajime-nii!
[05:06] Obi
Whoa!
[05:09] Obi
You've gotten pretty strong, too!
[05:11] Shin
Hajime-nii, you're alive!
[05:13] Shin
That's great! Just great!
[05:17] Gin
Huh? A former instructor?
[05:20] Otae
Yes, this was back when
our dojo was busy.
[05:24] Obi
The name's Obi Hajime!
SIGN Obi Hajime
[05:27] Obi
If that's a pain to say, call me Obi-one!
SIGN Obi Hajime
Obi-one
[05:29] Gin
No, that would be an even bigger pain.
[05:32] Obi
Sounds like you've been
taking care of Otae-chan
[05:34] ---
and Shin-bo while I was gone.
[05:36] Obi
Let me express my gratitude.
[05:38] Obi
Thank you very hamnida!
[05:39] Gin
Thank you? Hamnida? So
which country are you from?
[05:43] Otae
Obi-one-niisama has been wandering
around space for a long time,
[05:46] Otae
so he's picked up some words
from different planets.
[05:50] Obi
Soz for being so hard to understand!
[05:52] Gin
Uh, how do you pick up a
word like "soz" from space?
[05:54] Shin
Gin-san, Hajime-nii is really amazing.
[05:57] Shin
He became an instructor at
our dojo at a young age,
[05:59] Shin
and his skill was known around Edo!
[06:02] Shin
Once his talent was recognized,
[06:04] ---
he was chosen to study abroad
and took off into space.
[06:07] Shin
But the teleportation device at the terminal
[06:09] ---
exploded while he was there,
[06:11] Shin
so we thought he would never return.
[06:16] Obi
When the device blew up,
[06:18] ---
I was miraculously teleported
to a planet way out there.
[06:21] Obi
While there, I figured I might as
well learn how they used swords,
[06:25] Obi
but before I knew it, I was
the strongest one around.
[06:28] Obi
I would then move on to the
next planet, and so on,
[06:33] Obi
until people started calling
me Galaxy Sword Master.
SIGN Galaxy Sword Master
[06:39] Obi
People stopped challenging me.
[06:43] Obi
It got boring, so I came back to Edo.
[06:46] Shin
Wow! Galaxy Sword Master!
[06:49] Shin
You're awesome, Hajime-nii!
[06:51] Obi
Nah, I'm still nothing
compared to your old man.
[06:52] Gin
Hey, what's a Galaxy Sword Master?
[06:55] Kag
His character is dumb
and his title is dumb.
[06:55] Obi
He was one strong samurai.
[06:59] Obi
I never thought the
dojo would shut down.
[07:03] Obi
Shin-bo, Otae-chan...
[07:05] Obi
Soz for not being here to
help when you needed me.
[07:09] Obi
If I can help you with the beam saber
that I mastered out in space,
[07:13] Obi
I'll do whatever you ask!
[07:17] Obi
I'm getting excited!
[07:18] Gin
Watch it!
[07:20] Obi
Let's work together to
revive your old man's dojo!
[07:24] Obi
And we'll make Kodokan the number
one dojo in the universe!
[07:28] Obi
Hip, hip, hooray!
[07:35] Gin
Weren't we reviving it?
[07:40] Otae
Hey, hey! Come on
down! Have a looksee!
SIGN School of Tendo Mushin Beam Saber
[07:43] Otae
We're starting up a new school in Edo!
[07:47] Shin
The School of Tendo Mushin Beam Saber!
[07:50] Otae
We're moving into the age of beams!
[07:53] Shin
You can do anything with beams!
[07:54] Shin
Remove the wrinkles and
moles from your face!
[07:57] Shin
Pierce the heart of your favorite girl!
[07:59] Shin
Let's beam it up together!
[08:01] Gin
Uh, so why are we
beaming it up with you?
[08:05] Obi
This is bad, Gintoki-dono!
[08:07] Obi
Nobody's stopping!
[08:09] Gin
Uh, why are you telling me this?
[08:11] Obi
How 'bout it? Let's spar
a little to show them
[08:13] ---
what beam sabers are about!
[08:15] Gin
Wait, I've never used a beam
saber before and I don't want to.
[08:19] Obi
How can you say that when you're
[08:21] ---
going to be a founder of
the School of Beam Saber?
[08:23] Gin
What?
[08:24] Obi
Don't play dumb. You and Otae-chan
have this going on, right?
[08:28] Gin
What's that supposed to mean?
[08:29] Gin
I've never seen that gesture before!
[08:31] Gin
And this guy's shooting
beams out of his pinky?!
[08:33] Obi
You know what I mean.
[08:34] Obi
You've been sticking your
beam inside Otae-chan's...
[08:40] Otae
Please stop it, Obi-one-niisama.
[08:43] Otae
We have no such relationship.
[08:44] Obi
That's the Otae-chan I remember.
[08:46] Obi
You've already mastered
the art of the beam saber.
[08:48] Gin
You mean she's mastered
how to jam it in your ass!
[08:51] Shin
No kidding. You're the one who
doesn't understand, Hajime-nii.
[08:54] Shin
Sis wouldn't want to
hear her first love say...
[08:58] Gin
Wait, so he's her first love?
[09:00] Gin
He's her first love?
[09:01] Kag
Seriously? That's what
the boss lady likes?
[09:04] Otae
Keep your mouth shut!
Want me to slaughter you?!
[09:06] Kon
Uh, excuse me.
[09:10] Both
We want to join
[09:13] Both
the School of Beam Saber!
[09:15] Gin
As if we wanted these freaks!
[09:18] Kon
If it's that awesome, Kyubei-kun,
I'd love to try this, uh...
[09:22] Kyu
What was it called,
Kondo-kun? Beachy Diarrhea?
[09:26] Kon
No, that's not it.
[09:27] Kon
Wasn't it Beach Sandal, Kyubei-kun?
[09:30] Gin
Wait, when did they become friends?!
[09:32] Gin
The stalkers have teamed up
because her first love is here!
[09:36] Kon
But before we join, we'll
need a demonstration
[09:39] ---
to see how awesome this really is.
[09:40] Kyu
That's right.
[09:42] ---
Would you be willing
to spar with us first?
[09:44] Obi
Sure, I'd love to do that.
[09:46] Obi
I can't wait!
[09:48] Obi
It's been years since
I fought a samurai!
[09:51] Gin
They're not fighting like samurai!
[09:53] Both
Die!
[09:55] Gin
Way to blurt out your intent!
[10:08] Obi
That's no good, you two.
[10:10] Obi
If you fire those in the middle
of town, people will die.
[10:13] Obi
Huh? What about me?
[10:15] Obi
I'm just fine.
[10:23] Obi
Though, I'm only half human now.
[10:35] A
Kenofi, Kenofi, come in, come in!
[10:39] A
No good. He's not responding.
[10:41] A
He's running solo again.
[10:43] A
That guy is so much trouble.
[10:45] B
Forget about him.
[10:46] B
I believe that this
planet is his homeland.
[10:49] B
Let the man say his farewells.
[10:57] Obi
Whew, we managed to recruit enough
students to get started.
SIGN Welcome New Students
Tendo Mushin Beam Saber
[11:01] Obi
Welcome to the School of
Tendo Mushin Beam Saber!
[11:04] Obi
Soz about what happened back there.
[11:08] Obi
You guys were so strong that
I couldn't hold myself back.
[11:13] Obi
But this means that we have
the seven strongest samurai
[11:15] ---
to get this school started off.
[11:17] Obi
We're going to make the School
of Beam Saber the best there is!
[11:21] Obi
Right, Instructor Sakata?
[11:23] Gin
Sure, Instructor Obi-one.
[11:26] Gin
I can't even be bothered
to complain anymore.
[11:28] Obi
Anyway, tonight we celebrate
our new beginning!
[11:32] Shin
Do you want beer, Hajime-nii?
[11:33] Obi
Nah, give me some shochu with gasoline!
[11:36] Otae
Please, Obi-one-niisama.
You're such a joker.
[11:43] Kon
Uh, excuse me, Instructor Obi-one.
[11:46] Kon
I have a question.
[11:47] Obi
What's up?
[11:48] Kon
I now understand how
amazing beam sabers are.
[11:51] Kon
The thing is...
[11:53] Kon
Even if we train under
the School of Beam Saber,
[11:56] Kon
I don't see how we can learn to do that.
[12:00] Obi
Don't worry.
[12:02] Obi
It's easy once you've learned the trick.
[12:04] Obi
Right, Instructor Sakata?
[12:08] Gin
Sure, you know how
one day, you take the
[12:11] ---
training wheels off your bike,
and suddenly you can ride it?
[12:13] Gin
It's just like that.
[12:14] Kon
Wait, I'm positive that you can't
do that stuff, Instructor Sakata!
[12:17] Kon
You still need your training wheels!
[12:19] Kyu
Honestly, I don't see how a
human could ever pull that off.
[12:24] Kyu
And that mechanical arm...
[12:27] Kyu
You said that you were only half human.
[12:30] Kyu
What did you mean by that?
[12:35] Obi
You think there's something
special about this arm?
[12:37] Obi
This is just a mechanical arm to
replace the one I lost in the accident.
[12:41] Gin
That's not nice, Kyubei.
[12:43] Gin
You shouldn't start accusing
people because they beat you.
[12:45] Gin
It takes strength to
admit your weaknesses.
[12:48] Gin
Now you have to write the word "jobber"
a hundred times before tomorrow.
[12:52] Kyu
And you have to write the
word "moron" a hundred times.
[12:56] Gin
How do you spell that?
[12:59] Kag
Like this, Instructor!
SIGN Gintoki
[13:01] Obi
If you don't trust me,
I'll show you my body.
[13:04] Obi
I meant exactly what I said back there.
[13:08] Obi
After wandering around the galaxy,
[13:10] ---
half my body is no longer
that of an Earthling.
[13:12] Obi
The other half hasn't
forgotten the spirit of Edo.
[13:20] Obi
What do you think?
[13:23] Kon
Don't you mean you're
half Edo and half robot?!
[13:26] Obi
That's what I said.
[13:28] Obi
The beam saber didn't
come from my right arm.
[13:31] Obi
It came from the mechanical
right side of my body.
[13:35] Kon
What the hell?!
[13:36] Shin
Huh?!
[13:37] Shin
What's going on?!
[13:38] Shin
What happened to your body, Hajime-nii?!
[13:41] Otae
O-Obi-one-niisama...
[13:43] Obi
What? You didn't realize
that I was a cyborg?
[13:48] Obi
Man, you guys don't pay attention!
[13:49] Obi
Right, Instructor Sakata?
[13:51] Gin
Huh? What?
SIGN Gintoki Gintoki Gintoki
Gintoki Gin
[13:52] Gin
We're having hamburger
steak tomorrow. Really?
[13:54] Kon
Cyborg! This guy's piss drunk!
[13:57] Shin
You're a cyborg, Hajime-nii?
[13:59] Obi
Yeah. You see, when I was
caught in the explosion,
[14:04] ---
the right half of my body
was mortally damaged.
[14:08] Obi
I'm embarrassed to admit that, well...
[14:10] Obi
I already died once.
[14:12] Shin
Wh-What?!
[14:14] A
We'll make him half that.
[14:14] Shin
Y-You already died once?!
[14:15] B
And half this.
[14:16] Shin
Th-That means...
[14:18] Obi
Luckily, the technology on the
planet was advanced enough
[14:21] ---
that they could revive me
by mechanizing half my body.
[14:25] Obi
I would become the strongest
swordsman in the galaxy.
[14:30] Obi
I returned from hell to achieve the
dream that had once... died...
[14:37] Shin
Hajime-nii!
[14:38] Kag
Hey! Did he go back to hell already?!
[14:42] Shin
Hajime-nii!
[14:43] Shin
Pull it together!
[14:43] Shin
What's wrong?!
[14:46] Obi
Give me shochu with gasoline!
[14:49] Otae
Oh, no, I thought he was joking.
[14:52] Otae
I'll go buy some gasoline, so Shin-chan,
[14:53] Otae
take him to the bedroom!
[14:54] Shin
S-Sis!
[14:56] Kon
Otae-san!
[15:06] Shin
Gengai-san, how does he look?
[15:11] Gen
Unfortunately, the problem
isn't that he's out of gasoline.
[15:16] Gen
Who fed him this junk?
[15:19] Gen
This matter doesn't exist on Earth.
[15:22] Gen
As far as I know, nothing like this has
been discovered in the universe yet.
[15:26] Kag
That's boss lady's...
[15:28] Otae
He must have eaten something
bad out in space.
[15:31] Otae
Obi-one-niisama is such a slob.
[15:34] Gen
Whatever. I got him to spit up the junk,
[15:38] Gen
so give him some shochu with gasoline.
[15:41] Gen
That's the only thing his body can take.
[15:44] Shin
U-Uh, Gengai-san!
[15:46] Shin
Is Hajime-nii...
[15:49] Gen
His human heart has stopped beating.
[15:53] Gen
All life-sustaining operations are
performed by the right side of his body.
[15:57] Gen
In other words, the machine
is keeping him alive.
[16:09] Shin
I thought he was finally back.
[16:13] Shin
This is terrible.
[16:15] Shin
He can't live without
that machine... That's just...
[16:20] Otae
Shin-chan...
[16:22] Otae
No matter how much he changes,
[16:24] ---
he'll still be the same person.
[16:26] Otae
And you can't let him see
that look on your face.
[16:32] Otae
Have you forgotten the promise we made?
[16:37] Otae
Geez, how many times
do I have to tell you?!
[16:40] Otae
Whether you're swinging your
sword or doing anything else,
[16:42] ---
you must maintain your form!
[16:44] Otae
Pretend that there's a rod
sticking through your body,
[16:48] Otae
and you can only move by
rotating around that rod!
[16:54] Shin
I don't understand, Sis!
[16:56] Shin
There's no rod in my body!
[17:00] Otae
Geez, I told you to stop crying!
[17:03] Otae
You're the son of a samurai, Shin-chan!
[17:05] Shin
But...
[17:06] Otae
Don't make excuses!
[17:08] A
Those kids are at it again.
[17:10] Ken
Hey! What are you doing?!
[17:12] A
Crap, it's the master!
[17:15] Otae
Father!
[17:16] Otae
Help me talk some sense into him.
[17:18] Otae
All Shin-chan does is cry,
and he won't stop.
[17:21] Otae
And everybody's laughing
at how loud we are.
[17:23] ---
It's embarrassing.
[17:24] Ken
Both of you are too loud!
[17:34] Obi
You siblings cry all the time.
[17:36] Obi
Why's that? Are you getting paid?
[17:39] Obi
I'll pay you more, then, so laugh!
[17:43] Otae
Ha—
[17:44] Shin
Hajime-nii...
[17:45] Obi
Listen up, you two.
[17:47] Obi
Tears are handy for washing away
troubling and sad feelings.
[17:55] Obi
But when you grow up, you'll learn
[17:58] Obi
that there are things so sad, they
can never be washed away by tears.
[18:03] Obi
That there are painful memories
that should never be washed away.
[18:09] Obi
So people who are truly strong
laugh when they want to cry.
[18:14] Obi
They endure all of the pain and sorrow
[18:17] Obi
while laughing with everybody else.
[18:21] Obi
You can cry all you want right now.
[18:24] Obi
But one day, you must become
samurai strong enough not to cry.
[18:28] Otae
Oh, so that's why you're
always laughing.
[18:32] Shin
I-I want to become strong like you!
[18:35] Obi
Really?
[18:37] Obi
Then stop practicing the sword for
today, and start practicing laughing!
[18:46] Obi
More, Otae-chan!
[18:49] Obi
Not good enough, Shin-bo!
[18:51] Obi
Like this!
[18:56] Ken
All three of you are too loud!
[19:02] Obi
Darn, crying won't make
this pain go away.
[19:14] Otae
No matter what's happened to him,
[19:16] ---
we were able to see
Obi-one-niisama again.
[19:21] Otae
We were able to see his smile again.
[19:27] Otae
Isn't that
[19:30] ---
enough?
[19:34] Shin
Sis...
[19:55] Hiji
Where did you go?
[19:57] Hiji
We've got trouble right now.
[20:00] Hiji
Earth may come to an end.
[20:03] Kon
Oh, I don't see a problem
[20:06] Kon
since my life's already over.
[20:08] Kon
My love has come to an end,
[20:09] Kon
so everyone else's lives might as well end.
[20:12] Oki
He clearly wants attention right now.
[20:15] Oki
I sure as hell don't want
to listen to him gripe.
[20:18] Hiji
It'll just be a waste of time, so let's
tell him what's up and get to work.
[20:22] Tojo
Lady!
[20:24] Tojo
Hey! Where have you been?!
[20:27] Tojo
Edo is in big trouble!
[20:31] Tojo
We've got big trouble here, too!
[20:34] Kyu
I'm disgusted with myself.
[20:37] Kyu
I was trying to kill someone
that Tae-chan truly cared about.
[20:42] Kyu
I'm tainted! I'm the one
who deserves to be killed!
[20:45] Tojo
Calm down, Lady!
[20:47] Tojo
Turn on the TV first!
[20:48] Tojo
The human race is about
to be killed off!
[20:50] Kyu
Don't touch me!
[20:53] Tojo
Oh, she noticed.
SIGN Machine Hall
[20:56] Gin
Did you call me out here because
there's some kind of problem?
[21:00] Gen
Actually, I noticed something
when I was checking his body.
[21:05] Gen
I couldn't do anything
about it, so I ignored it.
[21:10] Kon
Planet Beam?
[21:11] Hiji
They're known for developing
interstellar wave beam cannons.
[21:14] Hiji
Basically, no other planet
could compete with them
[21:17] ---
at making beam cannons,
[21:20] Hiji
but a few days ago,
[21:22] ---
Earth started a proposal to
ban the manufacturing and
[21:25] ---
exporting of beam cannons
because of the danger,
[21:29] Hiji
and the proposal seems likely to pass.
[21:32] Hiji
Those guys see that as a
big thorn in their side.
[21:35] Hiji
These people claim to be terrorists,
[21:37] Hiji
but I'm guessing that...
[21:39] Ana
It appears that you Earthlings do not
[21:41] ---
understand how beneficial
lasers can be in daily life.
[21:46] Ana
So we've sent a wonderful
present to help you understand.
[21:52] Gin
Huh? What did they just say?
[21:55] Gen
The mechanical half of his
body contains a time-triggered
[21:59] ---
interstellar wave beam cannon.
[22:02] Gen
Its targets are the
planets of the Alliance.
[22:05] Gen
If the cannon is fired, the rest of
the galaxy will declare war on Earth.
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Big Announcement
[23:45] Gin
We have a big announcement
about the second movie.
SIGN Gintama the Movie ---- In theaters on ----- !!
[23:49] Gin
Next week, the scratched-out
areas will be revealed.
[23:53] Gin
Hey, dads. Don't try to
spread butter on the screen.
[23:57] Gin
That's not what this is for.
SIGN Two Brothers
[24:01] Shin
Next time: Two Brothers.
SIGN Planet Beam is threatening Planet Earth,
SIGN and Obi Hajime was their advance party!!
SIGN The Shimura siblings are unsure about what to do,
SIGN but Gintoki has made his choice.