238 - A vacation in disorientation Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:00] Toshi     Huh? A vacation? [00:02] Matsu     Oh, I have one more thing to mention! [00:06] Matsu     There's someone who wants     to come along on your trip. [00:11] Matsu     Well, he won't be that much trouble. [00:14] Matsu     Just keep an eye on him if you would. [00:17] Toshi     Stop them! [00:18] Toshi     We can't embarrass the Shogun, the Bakufu! [00:24] Toshi     We're stranded... [00:26] Toshi     Forget about protecting the Shogun, [00:29] Toshi     we're the ones who've been stranded. SIGN    The great Shogun, Shigeshige Tokugawa, has been lost on the ski slopes!! SIGN    Hijikata and the other stranded victims have two missions, to endure the cold and to find the Shogun. SIGN    A Vacation in Disorientation [02:32] Kagura     I think it's starting to snow harder. [02:35] Gin     Gonna be a blizzard tonight. [02:38] Shin     Will Kondo-san and the Shogun be okay? [02:41] Gin     We need to worry about ourselves first. [02:44] Gin     Isn't there a hut or something around here? [02:48] Shin     We wouldn't be stranded if there was. [02:51] Shin     You can only be stranded when     there aren't people around. [02:58] Kagura     Hmm? What are they doing? [03:03] Kagura     Hey, whatcha doing? [03:04] Kagura     Are you looking for food, doggie? [03:07] Okita     I'm not like you. [03:09] Okita     I don't eat food off the ground. [03:11] Kagura     Never? Never ever? [03:14] Kagura     Oops, some sukonbu fell out of my pocket. [03:17] Kagura     Uh oh, what should I do? SIGN    Sukonbu [03:22] Kagura     Why are you two diving for the food?! [03:25] Kagura     Stop it! That's embarrassing! [03:26] Gin     Once it touches the ground,     it's returned to the earth! [03:30] Gin     The food is mine! [03:31] Kagura     No, it's mine! [03:33] Toshi     Hey, what are you idiots doing? [03:36] Toshi     If you're going to get in the way, you     should also return to the earth. [03:38] Toshi     Stop playing with valuable food. [03:43] Toshi     Oops, I dropped some mayonnaise. [03:46] Toshi     What should I do? [03:58] Okita     That takes care of the interference. [04:00] Shin     Okita-san, is that a snow hut? [04:04] Okita     We're not going to find any buildings     out here in the middle of nowhere. [04:08] Okita     And there's no guarantee that     there are any caves nearby. [04:11] Okita     But there's plenty of snow. [04:13] Okita     In that case, we can find     shelter in the snow. [04:17] Gin     Oh, my. Did you hear that, Kagura-san? [04:19] Gin     He's going to use snow     as shelter from the snow. [04:25] Kagura     I guess the baboon is turning feral on us. [04:29] Kagura     How can snow possibly keep you warm? [04:32] Gin     Freiza's cold-hearted attacks     won't help either. [04:35] Gin     Have you forgotten how agonizing     it was for Vegeta to serve Frieza, [04:38] Gin     the one who destroyed his planet?! [04:40] Okita     Go inside and see for yourself. [04:42] Gin     No thank you. [04:43] Gin     We don't want to freeze to death. [04:46] Gin     Oh, sorry if you get wet, [04:48] Gin     since it looks like some kind of restroom. [04:50] Toshi     Just go inside! [04:56] Shin     How is it, Gin-san, Kagura-chan? [04:58] Shin     Huh? [04:59] Shin     Gin-san? Kagura-chan? [05:02] Kagura     What is this? [05:04] Kagura     Oh, wow. [05:07] Gin     It's so warm. [05:13] Gin     And not just in a physical sense. [05:18] Gin     My entire soul feels warm. [05:22] Gin     It's so comfortable. [05:27] Kagura     What is this? [05:29] Kagura     Why do I feel this way? [05:31] Gin     This is... [05:32] Gin     This is almost like... [05:34] Gin     ...I'm back inside my mother's womb. [05:39] Okita     Well, I won't be letting you inside [05:42] Okita     since you apparently have     a better place to sleep. [05:44] Gin     F-Fine with me. [05:46] Gin     It's not like I want to sleep in     such a cramped and dark place. [05:49] Kagura     Can't even roll over in here. [05:51] Toshi     Then get the hell out!     Don't make yourself comfortable! [05:55] Gin     You're the one who told us to come in! [05:56] Gin     You should thank us for trying     this dump out for you. [05:59] Toshi     Ah! Did you just fart?! [06:02] Gin     Oopsie-daisy! [06:04] Gin     Okay, we'll go find our own place to sleep. [06:06] Toshi     That's not the exit! [06:08] Gin     Huh? [06:09] Gin     The entrance was so small that I figured     I should find a different way out. [06:13] Toshi     That's bullshit! [06:15] Toshi     You did it on purpose! [06:16] Toshi     You were mad so you destroyed it! [06:19] Toshi     Hey, what now? [06:21] Toshi     The snow's getting worse! [06:23] Toshi     We're wasting our energy here! [06:26] Toshi     Are you trying to get     us all frozen to death?! [06:28] Zura     Hey! Over here, everyone! [06:31] Zura     You shouldn't be fighting     at a time like this. [06:34] Zura     I'll let you all inside my snow hut! [06:36] Zura     Come on! [06:37] Okita     Katsura, who gave you     permission to walk around? [06:40] Zura     I'm getting used to this body. [06:43] Zura     I did some looking around,     and I came across this den. [06:46] Kagura     What is this den? [06:49] Kagura     Are there bears hibernating inside? [06:51] Zura     Don't worry. I already chased off the beasts. [06:54] Shin     Huh? There were actually bears inside? [06:59] Zura     There wouldn't be bears here. [07:03] Zura     It was just... [07:04] Zura     Bigfoot. [07:10] Shin     Bigfoot doesn't exist! [07:13] Gin     Why would a mythical UMA be living out here?! SIGN    Shocking!! The giant ape Bigfoot is real?! [07:17] Gin     Why would Bigfoot wear sneakers?! [07:19] Zura     Well, I can't be positive [07:22] Zura     since I was preoccupied at the time. [07:25] Zura     It could have been a man     with really big feet. [07:28] Gin     No, I'll confirm it for you! [07:30] Gin     Nobody has feet this big! SIGN    Sorry. It's cold, so can I stay here tonight? No? You     might have a big body, but your brain is tiny, Stupidfoot! [07:32] Zura     I asked him to let me stay the night,     but he wouldn't listen to me. [07:37] Zura     So I attached a letter to     his shoe with thumbtacks, [07:41] Zura     and he seemed to get the message. [07:43] Shin     The wrong message! [07:45] Shin     His foot's all bloody from the thumbtacks! [07:48] Zura     He even left this wonderful bed. [07:50] Gin     That's just a stinking sneaker! [07:53] Zura     If I sleep in here, I won't freeze to death. [07:57] Zura     Ow! Something's stabbing into my back! [08:00] Zura     Who put a thumbtack here?! [08:03] Gin     Hey! I can hear footsteps coming closer! [08:05] Shin     Crap! Bigfoot-san is coming back! [08:08] Gin     Run for it! [08:10] Zura     Hey, where are you going? [08:12] Zura     Get this thumbtack out of my back. [08:16] Zura     Oh, you're back? [08:18] Zura     Uh, I think it's around here. [08:22] Zura     Yes, that's it. [08:33] Toshi     Hey, this is looking bad. [08:35] Toshi     If we don't find some sort of     shelter from this blizzard, [08:37] ---     we're all gonna freeze to death! [08:39] Otae     Everyone! Over here! [08:42] Otae     I found a great place! [08:44] Shin     Sis! [08:49] Shin     There's actually a cave here. [08:53] Toshi     It's not any warmer, [08:55] Toshi     but at least we won't be buried by the snow. [08:59] Otae     Yes, and there's even food here. [09:02] Shin     Really? [09:04] Otae     Take a look. [09:05] Otae     I managed to find so much food. [09:10] Shin     Sis, what are those? [09:13] Otae     Chupacabras. [09:23] Otae     This appears to be a chupacabra nest. [09:26] Otae     Beyond the chupacabras, you     won't find bears or Bigfoot. [09:30] Otae     Instead, you'll find the     ancient city of Fazan, [09:32] Otae     said to have been conquered by     the chupacabras in one night! [09:38] Otae     If we defeat the chupacabras and     reach the core system of Fazan, [09:42] Otae     we won't have to worry about     being stranded anymore! [09:46] Otae     All of our problems will be solved! [09:49] Otae     Now, let's rise up! [09:52] Otae     We must fight for our victory! [09:54] Otae     I know that we can do this if we're together! [09:56] Otae     Let's go! [10:00] Otae     Huh? [10:06] Shin     The blizzard keeps getting worse. [10:08] Shin     What are we going to do?! [10:10] Shin     The sun's gone down and we     still haven't found shelter! [10:14] Shin     We'll be popsicles in no time! [10:20] Zura     Stop whining about a little cold, you babies! [10:22] Zura     After Bigfoot-san stuck     a bunch of needles in me, [10:24] ---     I feel like my body's on fire! [10:27] Zura     You should all come back     to see Bigfoot-san with me! [10:30] Shin     Hell no! [10:31] Otae     We should use the cave I found. [10:34] Otae     Look at this delicious fried chupacabra. [10:39] Gin     She can turn unidentified creatures     into an unidentified substance! [10:42] Gin     Everything she touches becomes dark matter! [10:44] Shin     How are we supposed to     spend the night in the lair [10:46] ---     of those scary creatures?! [10:48] Shin     And even if we wanted to turn back, [10:50] Shin     we wouldn't be able to see where     we're going in this blizzard! [10:56] Toshi     It's snowing so hard that we can't even see     the smoke from the fire we left behind. [10:59] Okita     I'm pretty sure the snow     already put out the fire. [11:03] Okita     Kondo-san and the Shogun     won't know where to go. [11:06] Gin     Don't worry. [11:07] Gin     I'm sure that they'll return. [11:09] Gin     To the earth. [11:10] Toshi     Don't say that! [11:12] Toshi     If anything happens to the Shogun, [11:14] ---     everyone here will be returning to the earth! [11:16] Okita     It'll be fine, Hijikata-san. [11:18] Okita     I'm sure that we'll all return. [11:21] Okita     The Shogun's white underwear... [11:23] Okita     Our white faces... [11:26] Gin     Everything will become white under this snow. [11:29] Gin     Everything will return to zero! [11:31] Shin     The sadists can't take it! [11:33] Shin     They've already given up! [11:34] Shin     Get a grip! [11:36] Shin     If we don't give up, we'll     find a way to survive! [11:38] Shin     Isn't that right, Hijikata-san? [11:42] Toshi     Tsk. [11:44] Toshi     All I can say is that it doesn't     get any worse than this. [11:50] Toshi     But on the bright side,     it can't get any worse. [11:53] Toshi     We just have to climb our     way out of this hole. [11:55] Toshi     That's one less problem to worry about. [11:58] Shin     Hijikata-san... [11:59] Toshi     What? [12:01] Shin     It just got worse! [12:06] Gin     Why did a bear have to show up now?! [12:09] Zura     C-Calm down, Gintoki! [12:11] Zura     We don't have any chance     of outrunning a bear! [12:13] Zura     The correct course of action     is to play dead! [12:15] Gin     You're gonna be dead for real! [12:17] Toshi     Idiot! [12:19] Toshi     That's just an urban legend! [12:21] Toshi     Stare the bear right in its     eyes and slowly back away! [12:23] Toshi     If you turn your back, it'll... [12:25] Okita     Oh? [12:26] Okita     That's no good, Hijikata-san.     You need to watch your rear. [12:30] Okita     I thought you were a bear and stabbed you. [12:34] Toshi     Shit, there was someone else I     didn't want to turn my back on... [12:39] Kagura     Hey. [12:41] Kagura     You should probably play dead. [12:45] Okita     D-Damn you... [12:47] Shin     What are you people doing?! [12:49] Shin     This isn't the time to fight among ourselves! [12:51] Otae     Shin-chan! Look out! [12:52] Otae     The bear's coming for you! [12:58] Otae     Shin-chan! [13:11] Otae     Shin-chan! [13:21] Shogun     Are you all right? [13:23] Shin     Huh? [13:24] Shogun     It appears that everyone survived. [13:27] Shin     Th-Th-That voice... [13:29] Shin     C-Could it be?! [13:33] Shogun     It is I. The great Shogun, [13:36] ---     Shigeshige Tokugawa. [13:44] Otae     Shin-chan! [13:45] Otae     Are you okay, Shin-chan? [13:47] Otae     Shin-chan! [13:50] Kondo     Man, the Shogun is really something. [13:52] Kondo     He was able to find this cabin     on his own and take shelter. [13:57] Kondo     I was floundering around in     the snow when he saved me. [14:01] Kondo     Can't tell who's protecting who. [14:04] Kondo     I have failed as a warrior. [14:06] Kondo     I am prepared to slice open my belly. [14:09] Kondo     But now that the Shogun has saved my life, [14:12] Kondo     I must devote myself to ensuring     that the Shogun returns safely. [14:20] Kondo     What?! The Shogun! [14:24] Kondo     What happened?! [14:25] Kondo     What happened to the Shogun?! [14:27] Kondo     And why are you all so beat up?! [14:30] Toshi     U-Uh, Kondo-san. You see... [14:34] Gin     We were attacked by Bigfoot and chupacabras. [14:37] Kondo     Huh? [14:37] Gin     We tried to fight back, but... [14:40] Gin     Damn those UMA! I'll make them pay! [14:42] Kondo     UMA?! That's impossible! [14:44] Kagura     It's true! [14:45] Kagura     It was all the UMA's fault! [14:47] Kagura     Right, Sho-chan? [14:48] Zura     Yup, leader. [14:50] Kondo     Damn those UMA! [14:52] Kondo     Shogun, hang in there! [14:55] Kondo     Shogun! [14:57] Shogun     Where am I? [14:59] Shogun     Why am I here? [15:01] Kondo     H-Hey! [15:02] Kondo     His memory's been damaged! [15:05] Shogun     K-Kondo, what's happened? [15:08] Shogun     Why am I here? [15:09] Gin     Lord Shogun, have you forgotten? [15:11] Gin     These idiots brought you to     the mountains to hunt UMA. [15:15] Gin     But while we were following     Bigfoot's footsteps, [15:18] Gin     we ran into a blizzard and got split up. [15:20] Gin     We all got stranded for playing along     with this farce of yours. [15:24] Shogun     I can't believe this. [15:26] Shogun     I've put the lives of my people in     danger to satisfy an irrational whim. [15:30] Kondo     No, that's not what happened! [15:32] Shogun     I am not qualified to rule. [15:36] Shogun     Heavens! If this storm is     meant as my punishment, [15:41] Shogun     I offer my meager life as appeasement! [15:44] Zura     Sure, Shogun. [15:45] Kondo     This wasn't your fault, Lord Shogun! [15:48] Kondo     Amateurs can't predict the weather! [15:52] Kondo     In any case, we should be glad     that we're all together now. [15:55] Kondo     Help is bound to come. [15:57] Kondo     But you will have to put up     with this dirty shack for now. [16:00] Gin     Hey, how's that? [16:02] Gin     I've managed to cover up all your crimes. [16:04] Gin     Make sure you get me a reward out of this. [16:07] Kondo     Most of those crimes were yours, not ours! [16:09] Kondo     And none of them have been resolved yet! [16:18] Toshi     Listen up, guys. [16:19] Toshi     We can't do anything until     this blizzard stops. [16:22] Toshi     We'll probably do more harm than good [16:24] ---     by going outside, so sit     tight and wait for help. [16:27] Toshi     But this shack is nothing more     than four shabby walls. [16:29] Toshi     It's just as cold inside as it is outside. [16:31] Toshi     If you fall asleep, you'll die. [16:33] Toshi     We need to huddle together for warmth. [16:34] Toshi     Yell when you see someone nodding off. [16:36] Okita     How are we supposed to huddle together? [16:40] Toshi     We'll stand with our backs facing     each other, to pool our body heat. [16:44] Toshi     The center will be the warmest. [16:46] Toshi     The Shogun will go there. [16:48] Toshi     Then we have the girls and kids. [16:49] Toshi     The men will be on the outside. [16:52] Toshi     Okay, first we'll have the     girls stand next to the Shogun. [16:57] Gin     Hey, the Shogun's getting excited. [17:00] Gin     He's got something dirty in mind. [17:02] Toshi     Hey, what are they doing? [17:04] Toshi     Why are they whispering in the corner? [17:05] Toshi     Hurry up! [17:06] Kagura     Doesn't it smell? [17:07] Kagura     Like a wash rag drenched in spoiled milk. [17:11] Otae     Kagura-chan, you shouldn't say that. [17:13] Toshi     I'm hearing some really nasty comments! [17:16] Kagura     But you're starting to tear up, boss lady. [17:19] Otae     Stop that, Kagura-chan. [17:21] Otae     Some things aren't meant     to be said out loud... [17:23] Toshi     Yeah, and you're saying them out loud! [17:26] Toshi     The Shogun can hear everything you're saying! [17:28] Otae     Um, I believe that the smell is     coming from the fur he's wearing. [17:32] Otae     I believe that he found it in this cabin. [17:35] Otae     Could you ask him to take it off? [17:37] Toshi     I can't do that! [17:39] Toshi     We're trying to stay warm! [17:41] Toshi     Except he already took it off! [17:43] Toshi     The Shogun has changed his objective! [17:45] Toshi     He's seeking a different kind of warmth! [17:47] Toshi     Hey, the Shogun took off that fur. [17:50] Toshi     Get going. [17:51] Gin     Hey, hold on. [17:52] Gin     Doesn't it stink? [17:54] Toshi     Why are you joining in?! [17:56] Toshi     He already took off the fur! [17:57] Gin     Are you sure that the smell     was coming from the fur? [18:00] Gin     I think the smell's gotten worse. [18:02] Kagura     I think this is a completely different smell. [18:05] Toshi     Just stop already! [18:06] Toshi     The Shogun's wearing     nothing but his underwear! [18:07] Toshi     What could possibly stink?! [18:08] Kondo     The Shogun is pretending to stretch     while checking if his armpits smell! [18:11] Kondo     Stop! Don't hurt him anymore! [18:14] Gin     That must be the source. [18:16] Gin     Must have been all stuffed up under that fur. [18:19] Gin     We'll have to ask him to take it off. [18:21] Toshi     Don't be ridiculous! [18:22] Toshi     It would be suicide to stand naked     in the middle of a blizzard! [18:25] Toshi     Shogun! [18:26] Toshi     You don't even have an heir yet?! [18:28] Kagura     That's gross. I don't wanna go near him. [18:30] Toshi     Want me to kill you?! [18:32] Toshi     He took everything off because     you kept complaining! [18:35] Toshi     Now huddle together! [18:36] Toshi     The Shogun needs some warmth     for his body and heart! [18:39] Okita     Stop your whining. [18:41] Okita     We don't have time to gripe about     bad smells or grotesque objects. [18:45] Shin     That's rude. [18:46] Shin     Don't you have any tact? [18:48] Okita     Fine. [18:48] Okita     We'll go first. [18:50] Toshi     Oh, that works. [18:51] Toshi     I don't care who's first, just go! [18:53] Shin     I can't smell anything. [18:56] Shin     It's just a man's odor... [18:58] Kondo     Lord Shogun! Have them executed! [19:01] Okita     S-Sorry, China girl... [19:04] Kagura     It's fine if you understand now. [19:06] Toshi     It's not fine! [19:07] Toshi     Why are the two of you     agreeing now of all times?! [19:09] Okita     Don't worry. [19:11] Okita     We can't huddle together if he's naked, [19:14] Okita     so let's find him some new clothes. [19:16] Kagura     And they'll help to cover the smell. [19:18] Toshi     Hey! [19:19] Toshi     You've reduced the Shogun to a dress-up doll! [19:23] Okita     How's this? [19:24] Toshi     What are you trying to cover?! [19:26] Toshi     Why is he wearing nothing but a turtleneck?! [19:28] Toshi     The place that really needs to     be covered is still exposed! [19:30] Toshi     And why does this remind me of     a plastic surgery commercial?! [19:34] Okita     That particular region has its     own turtleneck already. [19:37] Toshi     Why are you grinning like an idiot? [19:39] Toshi     That wasn't funny! [19:40] Kondo     That settles it. [19:41] Kondo     The adults will have to get things going. [19:44] Zura     Change the plan so we     stand next to the Shogun, [19:48] Zura     while the girls and kids are outside. [19:50] Zura     Here's a diagram. [19:52] Toshi     Why is the censor pointing towards me?! [19:55] Gin     Somebody has to do it. [19:57] Gin     Don't you specialize in doing the     dirty work, Shinsengumi Vice Chief? [20:01] Toshi     This is too dirty! [20:02] Gin     Stop bitching and start     warming the Shogun's Shogun! [20:08] Toshi     This is all your fault! [20:09] Toshi     You should take responsibility! [20:13] Gin     Zura! [20:13] Gin     This is your chance to defeat the Bakufu! [20:15] Zura     He's already limp! [20:18] Zura     Shinsengumi! [20:19] Zura     You should be ashamed of yourselves     for exposing your leader! [20:22] Kondo     Toshi! [20:23] Toshi     Curly hair! [20:24] Gin     -Zura! [20:24] Zura     -Shinsengumi! [20:26] Kondo     Toshi! [20:27] Toshi     Curly hair! [20:35] Toshi     Hey! Wait! [20:36] Kondo     Look out! [20:42] A     Hmm? What's that?! [20:45] B     Hey! Look at that! [20:49] Yama     Something's... Something's rising in the sky! [20:52] A     Is that an SOS signal from     Kondo-san and the others?! [20:56] Yama     Hold on! [20:57] Yama     That's... [21:00] Yama     The Shogun? [21:19] Toshi     We're warm now. [21:32] A     Hey, look at him! [21:34] A     Damn, he's so cool! [21:37] B     He's airborne! [21:39] B     Awesome! [21:40] D     What? Is he a pro or something? [21:42] Both     Huh? [21:44] Matsu     Yes, hello? [21:46] Matsu     Good work. [21:49] Matsu     I guess I put you through a lot of trouble. [21:51] Matsu     Yeah, he's completely hooked,     so we're back again today. [21:56] Matsu     But I have one question. [22:05] Matsu     Is that how snowboarding works? SIGN    Next Episode: There are some things you should not forget when drinking away the past year at year-end parties. [23:40] Gin     Next time: [23:41] Gin     There are some things you should not forget [23:43] Gin     when drinking away the past     year at year-end parties. SIGN    We're already halfway through December. For grown-ups, this is the season for forgetting. SIGN    Drink alcohol, but don't let alcohol get the better of you. Gin-san gets drunk and makes a huge mistake?!