234 - Piggy banks and trash cans Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Gintoki and the gang have followed the missing Elizabeth into the Renho mothership. SIGN    The evil lord Dark Vader prepares to invade Earth. Can he be stopped?! [01:43] Shin     What are you doing, you three stooges?! [01:45] Fumi     Look out! [01:49] Fumi     It can't be! [01:50] Fumi     He was promoted for his work on Earth... SIGN    You punks got spirit. SIGN    Interested in becoming my men? [01:57] Zura     E- [01:58] Zura     Elizabeth! SIGN    It appears that you Earthlings are the ones who will lose their seeds. [02:04] Mutsu     You're the one who faces destruction. SIGN    I commend you for having the courage to come alone into enemy territory. I will grant you an up-close view of the destruction of Earth. [02:05] Mutsu     You have no right to be a leader     when you call your comrades tools. [02:10] Mutsu     Don't underestimate the     planet of the samurai. SIGN    I don't need soldiers or citizens. SIGN    As long as I have those, I can conquer the galaxy. SIGN    The samurai will soon learn SIGN    why the Renho Army soldiers SIGN    are feared as the white devils. [02:22] Shin     Renho Army? [02:23] Shin     Don't you mean the Renho Federation?! SIGN    Piggy Banks and Trash Cans [02:37] Fumi     Quiet down. [02:39] Fumi     We managed to sneak all the way in here. [02:41] Fumi     Don't waste that for the sake of a joke. [02:43] Shin     Uh, wait, Fumiko-san! [02:45] Shin     This is why you're known     as the white devils?! [02:49] Fumi     These are the new white outfits that were     developed for the invasion of Earth. [02:53] Fumi     The anti-samurai weapon, Gunsam! [02:57] Fumi     They've made incredible     progress while I was gone. [03:00] Shin     Uh, in the end, this is     just a blatant rip-off! [03:04] Shin     Those look very familiar! [03:06] Fumi     Dark Vader intends to have the Gunsams [03:08] Fumi     attack Earth once the rain     has left the planet in chaos. [03:10] Fumi     Earth won't last long     against such an onslaught! [03:14] Shin     Uh, we won't last long against a     copyright infringement lawsuit. [03:17] Fumi     Both were animated by Sunrise,     so a lawsuit would go nowhere. [03:22] Fumi     They planned ahead. [03:24] Shin     That's plain evil! [03:26] Fumi     In any case, we have plenty     of incentive to destroy those. [03:31] Kagura     How do we do that? [03:33] Fumi     We'll have to think of something. [03:35] Fumi     Before he... [03:37] Fumi     Before General Eren leads his strike     force of Gunsams to attack Earth. [03:42] Fumi     I never imagined that he would become     a general in such a short time. [03:47] Shin     And I never imagined that we would     become Elizabeth's subordinates. [03:53] Kagura     Maybe Eli recognized us? [03:56] Fumi     He may do his job well, but     he's always been rather dense. [04:01] Fumi     He couldn't even recognize his own girlfriend [04:03] Fumi     when I changed to a different color ribbon. [04:05] Shin     Uh, how is anyone supposed to pick you out?! [04:08] Shin     This is harder than trying to find Waldo! [04:10] Kagura     I see. [04:11] ---     So he won't recognize Shinpachi     since he's a different color. [04:14] Shin     He'll recognize me! [04:15] Shin     He should recognize me when     I'm sticking out of your head! [04:17] Fumi     Anyway, now that we're here,     this is the perfect chance. [04:21] Fumi     I'll try to find a way     to destroy the Gunsams. [04:24] Fumi     You do what you can to     disable the three stooges [04:26] Fumi     and other pilots who are     part of the strike force. [04:29] Kagura     Be careful, Cool Lady Fumi. [04:31] Shin     Okay... [04:32] Shin     Gin-san, did you hear all that? [04:34] Gin     Loyal soldiers of the Renho Army! [04:38] Gin     Thanks to our Elizabeth Rain, [04:40] ---     over half of the Earthlings     are now trapped behind signs. [04:44] Gin     The clouds surrounding Earth     are a symbol of our justice. [04:49] Gin     The Earth's military is but     a shell of its former self. [04:55] Gin     Verily, I declare them to be trash! [04:58] Zura     Earthlings treasure their three M's above all. [05:02] Zura     Their money, their mothers,     and their manhood. [05:06] Zura     We start by hitting them in their manhood [05:08] Zura     and immobilizing them. [05:09] Zura     Then we take their mothers hostage [05:11] Zura     and seize their money! [05:13] Zura     We can render them helpless! [05:16] Saka     On the battlefield, you have to     rely on the voices of your allies. [05:19] Saka     Remember to ditch your signs and provide     your comrades with vocal support. [05:23] Saka     And you're only allowed to     bring 300 yen worth of snacks. [05:26] Saka     Don't forget your Gelgoog bag for     when you get mobile suit sickness... [05:30] Shin     Why are you people teaching     them how to defeat Earthlings?! [05:34] Shin     Why are you even here?! [05:36] Shin     You're clearly helping the wrong side! [05:39] Gin     You hit me! [05:40] Gin     Bright-san never hit me! [05:43] Shin     Most people haven't been hit by Bright! [05:47] Saka     Sorry. [05:48] Saka     I fell into my old habits after getting all     fired up about about the upcoming battle. [05:51] Shin     What the hell were the wars like     back when you were fighting?! [05:54] Shin     That last part was more or less     instructions for a picnic! SIGN    Teacher! Can we take our PSPs onto the battlefield? [05:59] Zura     Okay, this is a battlefield, right? [06:01] Zura     So you should be playing battlefield     games, if you get my drift. SIGN    What?! [06:05] Shin     Why is this turning into a lecture?! [06:07] Shin     Who's the teacher?! [06:08] Zura     Fine, fine. [06:10] Zura     That concludes today's court-martial. [06:13] Zura     Everyone go outside for some Uno! [06:15] Shin     Why would you play Uno outside?! [06:16] Shin     Do you really want to play Uno?! [06:18] Gin     Don't worry, Alzabeth. [06:20] Gin     I'll move three times faster than usual. [06:22] Shin     That's not gonna help, you stupid Red Comet! [06:25] Saka     It's the job of a general to play some Uno [06:26] Saka     and help put the men in that zone     between composure and passion. [06:31] Shin     You people are between dumb and dumber! [06:36] Shin     What is this?! [06:37] Shin     Why are you playing Uno with the invaders?! [06:37] Gin     I can see! I can see the enemy's hand! [06:39] Shin     Why are you bonding with them?! [06:40] Kagura     They're winning over the enemy. [06:42] Gin     Tsk, how can this be... [06:43] Kagura     They may have fallen, but they     were stars during the Joi era. SIGN    What a strange bunch. [06:50] Shin     Eli- [06:51] Shin     General Eren! SIGN    You were able to sap away the tension before a battle. SIGN    You have the odd ability to draw people in while doing stupid things. SIGN    Or maybe they were drawn in by your Earth smell. SIGN    You were also working as spies on Earth, right? SIGN    The same goes for everyone in my squad. SIGN    We were all ordered to infiltrate Earth and make contact with Earthlings. SIGN    Uno! SIGN    And now we're trying to destroy the people of Earth. [07:18] Zura     So everyone here loves Earth. [07:21] Zura     Otherwise, they wouldn't know the rules. SIGN    Uno [07:26] Shin     Katsura-san... SIGN    I also played a lot of Uno. [07:34] Zura     No! SIGN    He would challenge me to a game whenever we had time. [07:37] Zura     C-Can you let me redo that... SIGN    But he sucked... I had to let him win a few times. SIGN    I guess I was already lying to him back then. [07:44] Zura     Do you regret it? [07:46] Zura     Then why...? [07:48] Zura     Everyone here found something     important to them on Earth. [07:52] Zura     Everyone here has grown to care for Earth. [07:54] Zura     I-I am the same way. [07:56] Zura     So why are we invading Earth? SIGN    ...I'll pretend I didn't hear that. SIGN    The Renho purge all who express dissent. SIGN    And keep your mouth shut. You won't get another warning. [08:09] Zura     If the general were to show a sign,     everyone would revolt together. [08:15] Zura     Nobody would have to     worry about a purge then. [08:19] Zura     Is that what you're saying? SIGN    I learned many things on Earth. SIGN    Things that I wouldn't have learned     on this planet of cold steel. SIGN    Defeat SIGN    Many things that were warm to the touch. SIGN    I learned many things from the person SIGN    whom with I fought back-to-back. SIGN    That's why I have no regrets. SIGN    There is something I must protect. SIGN    Even if it means destroying Earth. SIGN    Even if it means fighting against him. SIGN    A true friend will always protect a friend's back. SIGN    That is what I learned from my friend on Earth. [09:07] Zura     Elizabeth... SIGN    Attack Order In one hour, the entire armada will advance on Earth. All squadrons should immediately prepare for battle. [09:31] Kagura     W-We've been given the order to attack. [09:34] Shin     Already?! [09:35] Shin     What happened to Mutsu-san's negotiations?! [09:39] Saka     Mutsu, I see that you screwed up. [09:41] Mutsu     I bought you plenty of time. [09:43] Mutsu     You were able to come up with a plan, right? [09:46] Saka     You bet! The guy before me used a Draw 2, [09:49] Saka     so I tossed out a Draw 4, [09:50] Saka     but then he said that going by Earth     rules, I could only use a Draw 2, [09:54] Saka     so I tore my Draw 4 in half. [09:55] Mutsu     The hell are you doing?! [09:57] Mutsu     I'm out here risking my life to buy you time! [10:01] Mutsu     What are we going to do?! [10:02] Mutsu     The Kaientai have been locked up! [10:04] Mutsu     We can't do anything! [10:07] Zura     You don't need to worry. [10:08] Zura     We're ready to go. [10:10] Shin     Katsura-san. [10:11] Zura     Relax... [10:12] Zura     Elizabeth is still Elizabeth. [10:14] Zura     The Elizabeth I believe in. [10:17] Zura     We've been separated due to our     positions as Earthling and Renho, SIGN    How do you write out Renho? [10:23] Zura     but we still believe in the same things. SIGN    Don't look. [10:26] Zura     In that case, I can't let him down. [10:30] Zura     Not when my friend says     that he believes in me. [10:35] Zura     I'll stop the Renho. [10:38] Zura     Even if it means cutting down Elizabeth. [10:42] Gin     Zura... SIGN    What are you doing, Teacher? The general is already on his way to the front lines. [10:46] Zura     Yes, I'm coming. [10:50] Zura     I'm going to stop Elizabeth's strike force. [10:53] Kagura     Wait, Zura! [10:55] Kagura     You're going to fight Eli?! [10:56] Saka     Yeah, knock yourself out, Zura. [10:58] Gin     While you're running cover, [11:01] Gin     we'll take out the big boss. [11:03] Kagura     Gin-chan! Moldie! [11:05] Saka     Doesn't matter how big the serpent     is. Cut off its head and it'll stop. [11:08] Saka     Then we might not have to     cut off its tail, Kintoki. [11:11] Saka     Well, that's only if we don't     get choked to death first. [11:16] Gin     What are you babbling about? [11:18] Gin     Your brain was already choked to death. [11:23] Zura     Don't look back. [11:28] Gin     I won't. [11:34] Zura     You got my back. [11:51] Kagura     I guess we don't need to worry     about the three stooges. [11:55] Kagura     In that case, we should     help delay the soldiers. [12:00] Shin     And how is Katsura-san going     to stop the strike force? [12:04] Shin     Is he going to use that thing? [12:06] Shin     Can he even pilot it? [12:09] Fumi     Alzabeth! [12:11] Shin     Fumiko-san! [12:13] Fumi     What's going on? [12:15] Fumi     Why did the attack start so soon? [12:18] Shin     Well... [12:19] Fumi     I don't believe it! [12:21] Fumi     Just a little longer and I could     have disabled all of the Gunsams! [12:25] Shin     Huh? You were able to do     something in such a short time? [12:28] Fumi     You helped divert the     attention of the guards, [12:31] Fumi     so while I wasn't able to do     anything to the mothership, [12:33] Fumi     I managed to sabotage the Gunsams. [12:35] Shin     What did you do?! [13:07] Zura     A-Amazing... [13:09] Zura     No wonder Vader is so taken by these. [13:11] Zura     Okay! Just you wait, Elizabeth! [13:15] Zura     Gunsam, ready to launch! [13:19] Zura     Katsura, heading out! [13:26] Fumi     What did I do? [13:28] Fumi     I placed bombs in them. [13:35] Shin     Ka-Katsura... [13:38] Zura     ...blew up! SIGN    What is it? SIGN    W-Well... SIGN    The Gunsam that launched suddenly blew up... SIGN    What?! SIGN    Could it be that... SIGN    they have other allies...? SIGN    Spies! SIGN    There are Earth spies on this ship! SIGN    The attack is off!! SIGN    Capture any suspicious rats and make it run blood!! SIGN    Don't let any of them escape!! [14:16] Fumi     In any case, we were able to delay them. [14:19] Shin     Uh, we lost one of our friends. [14:22] Fumi     But it's strange... [14:23] Fumi     The bomb I placed wasn't that strong, was it? [14:27] Fumi     It was only supposed to blow off a leg... [14:30] Kagura     Hm? [14:30] Kagura     Hey, look over there! [14:35] Shin     Wh-What is that?! [14:38] Gin     Hey, Tatsuma, don't tell me     that you've lost your edge [14:41] ---     after becoming a merchant. [14:43] Saka     Can't really say. [14:44] Saka     I was always more of a peace     lover compared to you boys. [14:48] Saka     My mind's sharp as a razor, but I can't be     so confident about my ability with a blade. [14:51] Gin     I see. [14:52] Gin     So your mind and sword are both rusty. SIGN    Hey, fools. SIGN    What's going on? SIGN    That's Dark Vader's office. SIGN    What business do you have there? SIGN    We have a message for him. SIGN    What?! Did you find the spies? [15:05] Saka     No. [15:11] Saka     The samurai... [15:13] Gin     ...have invaded your planet. SIGN    You're the ones from earlier!! SIGN    I knew there was something suspicious about you. SIGN    To think that you were samurai...!! SIGN    Why are you out here in space?! [15:23] Saka     You people didn't do enough research. [15:27] Saka     The samurai weren't wiped off Earth. [15:30] Gin     Have you forgotten the names of     the Amanto's most dreaded enemies? [15:35] Gin     With our swords, we kept... [15:37] Saka     ...our country... [15:38] Gin     ...our friends... [15:39] Saka     ...our souls safe from the aliens. [15:43] Saka     The Joi patriot, Sakamoto Tatsuma. [15:46] Gin     Sakata Gintoki. [15:49] Both     We'll take you on! [15:57] Gin     This is a one night ceremony! [15:59] Gin     Tatsuma, show them that you     haven't lost your edge! [16:04] Saka     Yeah, got it! [16:06] Saka     Time to go wild! SIGN    Sakamoto Tatsuma [16:10] Saka     Excuse me, I'm Sakamoto Tatsuma,     chief logistics officer for the Joi. [16:15] Saka     It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. [16:22] Saka     I believe that you're one of the Double     Dragons who lead this jolly group. [16:25] Saka     Are you on the right or left? SIGN    I'm the right Dragon. [16:28] Saka     Oh, that must be rough. [16:30] Saka     You have to deal with the random gusts     in right field at Koshien Stadium. [16:36] Saka     Well, I'm sure you have     a story or two to tell. [16:42] Gin     What are you doing?! [16:45] Saka     Don't mind me. Carry on with your fun. [16:48] Saka     I have my own way of going wild. SIGN    Prepare yourself! [16:52] Gin     Your own way of going wild? [16:54] Gin     I'm the only one fighting here! SIGN    What are you trying to pull? [16:59] Saka     Well, just between you and me, [17:02] Saka     I was only pretending to     want to protect Earth. [17:06] Saka     Truth is that I came all     the way here to do business. SIGN    Business? [17:11] Saka     Yes, I consider space to be home. [17:16] Saka     So I feel no attachment to Earth. SIGN    You're going to sell Earth? That's what your subordinate said when you first snuck on board. [17:21] Saka     Please, she's a fledgling who     knows nothing about business. [17:25] Saka     She always snaps when a     deal doesn't go her way. [17:28] Saka     However, now I know what you people want. SIGN    What? [17:32] Saka     You want a weapon that will be more useful [17:35] Saka     than those white devils     for the invasion of Earth. [17:37] Saka     Isn't that right? [17:38] Saka     I have the perfect thing! [17:42] Saka     Yes! [17:43] Saka     To counter your white devils,     I offer a white demon. [17:47] Saka     The White Yaksha. [17:49] Saka     I've colored him completely     white to satisfy your needs. [17:55] Gin     What the hell are you talking about?! [17:58] Saka     And I'll even include the weapon     of self destruction, Zura, [18:01] Saka     and the adult toy, Sakamoldie. [18:04] Saka     It's an amazing deal! SIGN    Is this some kind of joke? [18:09] Saka     I would never joke about selling my friends. [18:11] Saka     Why not have the White Yaksha     and White Devil fight it out? [18:15] Saka     That man doesn't give a damn about Earth. SIGN    Now to finish him! [18:20] Saka     He's a demon who's capable of [18:22] ---     crushing an Earth or two for     the sake of his friends. [18:26] Saka     If you don't buy him,     he'll crush your planet. [18:30] Saka     But if we join forces, we can take over     Earth or any planet of your choice. SIGN    Nonsense! After invading our planet, you now offer to help us take Earth? [18:40] Saka     Sure thing. [18:42] Saka     If we keep fighting, we'll just     weaken our forces for nothing. [18:46] Saka     If you provide another place     for the Earthlings to live, [18:51] Saka     we'll give you Earth in a split second. [18:54] Saka     Planets are just a place     for people to stand on. [18:57] Saka     A planet is just a rock. [18:59] Saka     Takes people to make it a world. [19:01] Saka     You can have all the piggy banks you want. [19:05] Saka     I'm only interested in what's inside. [19:08] Saka     Well, there definitely isn't gold inside. [19:11] Saka     Just a bunch of old scarred steel. [19:15] Saka     But I consider that steel the greatest     treasure there could ever be. SIGN    Joi patriots? SIGN    They weren't in the data provided by the advance scouts. SIGN    Reinforce our troops. SIGN    Grind the Earthlings into space dust. SIGN    M-My lord!! SIGN    B-Behind you!! [19:45] Shin     Th-That's... SIGN    What...? SIGN    ...is that? [19:55] Shin     E-Earth is... SIGN    Smiling. [20:06] A     Huh? Your face is... [20:08] B     And you're talking. [20:10] A     Y-You're right! My voice! [20:11] A     My face is back to normal! [20:15] B     This is a rain from the heavens! [20:16] A     The gods haven't abandoned us yet! [20:20] Hana     Are you watching this? [20:22] Hana     The people who lost their     voices are recovering! [20:26] Hana     It's wonderful! So wonderful! SIGN    Th-This is!! SIGN    M-My Lord!! [20:29] Hana     Wonderful for me! [20:30] Hana     Wonderful for you! [20:31] Hana     Wonderful for everyone! [20:32] Shin     Th-The clouds... [20:35] Shin     The clouds that were covering     Earth have dissipated... SIGN    To my home planet. SIGN    To my friend. SIGN    From Space, SIGN    with love. SIGN    It appears that those rats weren't the only ones with a trick up their sleeves. [21:30] Katsura     That's... SIGN    You fooled me. [21:33] Eli     I fooled no one. [21:36] Eli     The words written on that planet aren't [21:38] ---     the words of a spy, a general, or a Renho. [21:41] Eli     They're Elizabeth's first     and last words of truth! [21:49] Zura     Elizabeth! SIGN    To Be Continued SIGN    Next Episode [23:30] Eli     Dark Vader finally reveals his     true power and attacks the Gunsam. [23:34] Eli     The battles that ensue inspires terror [23:37] Eli     that Katsura and Eren have     never experienced before! [23:40] Eli     Next time: Empty planet. SIGN    Empty Planet [23:42] Eli     Will you survive? SIGN    Speaking of which, will this anime be able to survive? SIGN    When we first started Gintama, we figured there would never be any mecha. [3:04:10] ---     -