226 - "Everybody loves pajamas"

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] N
    Greetings.
[00:02] N
    The fall days are very comfortable.
[00:06] N
    How is your health?
[00:08] N
    I am doing well.
[00:09] N
    Recently, there's been a change in my life.
[00:11] N
    I have a new roommate in my cell.
[00:15] N
    I'm not sure if he's pure evil or just a fool.
[00:20] N
    One thing's for sure.
[00:21] N
    He's the reason I'm able to continue writing letters to you.
[00:27] N
    It won't be long before we are able to meet.
[00:30] N
    I hope to tell you much about my roommate, my friend.
[00:35] N
    I eagerly anticipate the day.
[00:38] N
    Sincerely yours.
SIGN    Everybody Loves Pajamas
[02:22] A
    Hey, Gramps.
[02:24] A
    Where's your partner?
[02:25] N
    Oh, he went to the restroom.
[02:28] A
    What? I told you to always get permission and
[02:30] ---
    accompany him to the restroom.
[02:31] N
    Sorry, he's taking a dump, so I figured I shouldn't tag along.
[02:36] A
    Oh, it's okay.
[02:37] A
    Shachi needed to take a dump, so he tagged along.
[02:40] A
    That's not the issue here.
[02:42] N
    Oh, now I need to take a dump.
[02:44] N
    Will you come with me, guard?
[02:46] A
    Why?!
[02:48] Shachi
    Bro, if they find us,
[02:50] ---
    they won't even bother sending us to the disciplinary room.
[02:52] Gin
    That's right.
[02:53] Gin
    I want to go to the warden's room,
[02:55] ---
    not the disciplinary room, Shake-kun.
[02:57] Shachi
    It's Shachi.
[02:58] Gin
    We're going to find proof that he's breaking the law.
[03:00] Gin
    Weren't you his pawn?
[03:01] Gin
    Show me the way, Hamachi-kun.
[03:02] Shachi
    It's Shachi!
[03:03] Shachi
    It's impossible!
[03:05] Shachi
    Do you realize how many locked doors we have to go through?!
[03:09] B
    Yes, this is Kamiya.
[03:10] B
    What?! What are you doing, you idiot?!
[03:13] Shachi
    Damn, did they find out that we ditched our work?
[03:16] B
    You lost the keys?!
[03:17] B
    Were they stolen?!
[03:18] Shachi
    I guess it wasn't us.
[03:21] Shachi
    We need to get back before we're caught.
[03:23] Gin
    Grow a spine.
[03:25] Gin
    They're busy looking for whoever stole the keys.
[03:27] Gin
    They won't care about a couple fellows skipping work.
[03:30] Gin
    Let's go.
[03:31] Shachi
    They're gonna care!
[03:33] Shachi
    Because the person who stole the keys is right here!
[03:35] Gin
    Huh? Where?
[03:36] Shachi
    It's you! Why are you acting surprised?!
[03:38] Gin
    I didn't steal anything.
[03:40] Gin
    I just picked up the keys after someone dropped them.
[03:41] Gin
    And I'm going to give them back.
[03:43] Shachi
    That doesn't make it okay!
[03:46] Shachi
    Bro, you're going all the way this time.
[03:49] Gin
    Yeah, time for revenge, Itachi-kun.
[03:51] Shachi
    That's not even close to my name.
[03:53] Gin
    Okay, let's disguise ourselves so we don't stand out.
[03:56] Shachi
    You're the man, Bro.
[03:57] Shachi
    You must have stolen clothes from the guards.
[04:00] Gin
    Listen up.
[04:01] Gin
    I'm a guard in pajamas.
[04:03] Gin
    You're the prisoner I'm bringing in.
[04:05] Shachi
    Nothing's changed!
[04:07] Shachi
    How are you a guard in pajamas?!
[04:08] Shachi
    The only difference is you're wearing a western style prison uniform
[04:10] Shachi
    instead of an Asian one!
[04:11] Gin
    Don't blame me.
[04:12] Gin
    The guard was working a night shift so he had his pajamas on.
[04:15] Shachi
    Why was the guard wearing pajamas like that?!
[04:18] Shachi
    Hell, you might as well be naked!
[04:20] Gin
    Don't worry.
[04:22] Gin
    If I put on a bandanna and carry a stick...
[04:24] Gin
    See? Don't I look like a guard in pajamas?
[04:27] Shachi
    Don't act like guards in pajamas are a common phenomenon!
[04:30] Shachi
    Nobody's seen one before!
[04:31] Gin
    Then I won't pretend to be a guard.
[04:33] Gin
    I'm a pajama kid with a pillow and I don't believe in ghosts.
[04:36] Shachi
    Why would a pajama kid be walking around with a prisoner?!
[04:39] Shachi
    And who cares if you believe in ghosts?!
[04:40] Shachi
    What's that in your right hand?!
[04:43] Shachi
    What are we supposed to say if they find us?!
[04:45] C
    Hey! What are you guys doing?!
[04:48] D
    Why is a prisoner here with a pajama kid?!
[04:51] C
    What's going on?!
[04:51] C
    Don't move!
[04:54] Shachi
    K-Keep it down!
[04:56] Shachi
    Or this pajama kid is gonna get it!
[04:59] Gin
    H-Help me pajama!
[05:02] C
    I see!
[05:03] C
    He's taken the pajama kid hostage so he can escape!
[05:06] D
    Wait, why is this pajama kid even here?!
[05:08] Gin
    Shut up! Everyone wants to be a pajama kid!
[05:11] Gin
    If you keep talking, these pajamas will be torn apart!
[05:14] D
    Stop! Don't hurt the pajamas!
[05:16] Shachi
    Why are you a bad guy now?!
[05:18] Shachi
    Raise your hands! Outta the way!
[05:20] Shachi
    Clear the path!
[05:21] Shachi
    Listen to me.
[05:22] Shachi
    If you follow me, you know what's gonna happen!
[05:25] Shachi
    These white lines will be completely red!
[05:27] Gin
    About face, then march!
[05:29] Gin
    Then go into the locker room and change into your pajamas!
[05:32] Gin
    Listen to me, if you button them wrong, you know what's gonna happen!
[05:36] D
    G-Got it.
[05:37] Gin
    Go!
[05:45] E
    We're on high alert!
[05:47] E
    Get the prisoners into their cells!
[05:49] B
    Were they really stolen?
[05:51] F
    I-I'm sorry...
[05:52] B
    Apologizing isn't going to help!
[05:54] B
    Where's the warden?
[05:55] F
    Well, he's out right now.
[05:55] N
    They've been found out...
[05:57] B
    Damn, why now?!
[05:58] C
    Come in.
[06:01] C
    This is the warden speaking.
[06:04] B
    The warden?
[06:05] C
    Yes, I wanted everyone to gather in one place.
[06:09] B
    Who are you?!
[06:10] B
    You're not the warden!
[06:11] C
    I'm the warden.
[06:13] C
    But I'm not feeling well,
[06:17] C
    so someone else is doing the talking for me.
[06:23] A
    W-Warden!
[06:25] C
    Welcome to our land, guards.
SIGN    Warden's Office
[06:31] Shachi
    This is bad, Bro!
[06:32] Shachi
    We need to hurry!
[06:34] Shachi
    Damn! I can't find anything incriminating!
[06:37] Shachi
    Bro!
[06:38] Gin
    I had the kids on the outside do some research.
[06:41] Gin
    I gave them one of the letters the old man's been getting
[06:44] Gin
    and told them to check the address.
[06:46] Shachi
    Why are you bringing this up now, Bro?
[06:49] Gin
    They went to the address to see his son.
[06:52] Gin
    But they didn't find him.
[06:54] Shachi
    He wasn't there?
[06:55] Gin
    No.
[06:56] Gin
    And it wasn't just the wrong address.
[06:59] Gin
    He's no longer in this world.
[07:02] Shachi
    You mean...
[07:04] Gin
    His son died ten years ago.
[07:08] Gin
    Of disease.
[07:10] Gin
    He's been writing letters to someone who will never get them.
[07:16] Gin
    That would explain why he never got any responses.
[07:20] Gin
    But at some point, he began to receive frequent replies.
[07:25] Gin
    From someone who no longer existed...
[07:28] Shachi
    Who was it?!
[07:30] Shachi
    Were those letters written by a ghost?!
[07:34] D
    Our positions have been reversed, warden.
[07:38] E
    Hey, warden.
[07:40] E
    Looks like your own men hate you as much as the prisoners do.
[07:44] E
    Hey, if you don't come out,
[07:47] E
    we'll take out all our stress on the warden!
[07:52] E
    Watch closely.
[07:54] E
    We're going to beat the warden to death!
[07:58] N
    Stop!
[08:02] N
    Stop this nonsense. It's for your own good.
[08:07] E
    Hey, unlock that door.
[08:12] E
    Did you say something, old man?
[08:16] Gin
    For an old man who was stuck in prison for the rest of his life,
[08:19] Gin
    his son was the only light in his dark world.
[08:24] Gin
    But it was an illusion.
[08:26] Gin
    There was no light.
[08:30] Gin
    But you couldn't take that away from him.
[08:34] Gin
    When you're sitting behind bars, the whole world is an illusion.
[08:37] Gin
    So he gave him what he could.
[08:43] Gin
    That would explain why they only made small talk.
SIGN    From your son.
[08:51] C
    You're...
[08:53] Warden
    Bastards, you think you can get away with touching my toys?
[09:01] Warden
    I'm sending you all to the disciplinary room.
[09:11] Shachi
    I never imagined that the sick and twisted warden was
[09:15] ---
    doing this for the old man.
[09:17] Shachi
    He pretended to be the old man's son to hide his death.
[09:23] Gin
    If the old man is allowed to see his son,
[09:25] ---
    these letters will have been for nothing.
[09:27] Gin
    That's why he's been trying to get me to make trouble.
[09:32] Gin
    To get his clemency revoked.
[09:35] Shachi
    Why would the warden do this?
[09:37] Gin
    Beats me.
[09:38] Gin
    He probably doesn't know either.
[09:49] G
    Attention, criminals!
[09:51] G
    Open the doors and release the guards at once!
[09:54] G
    Or else you will all have your sentences increased!
[09:58] B
    You're the ones who locked us up in here!
[10:01] B
    We're just making ourselves comfortable!
[10:04] Shachi
    Shit, they started a riot!
[10:07] Gin
    The warden's wish came true in an unexpected way.
[10:11] Gin
    The old man's clemency ain't happening now.
[10:13] Shachi
    That doesn't matter!
[10:14] Shachi
    Those guys aren't gonna let the warden live!
[10:17] Shachi
    The old man's in danger, too!
[10:18] Gin
    Can't have that.
[10:19] Gin
    If he dies, there won't be anyone to prove my innocence.
[10:23] Gin
    Besides , I finally found evidence of his evil.
[10:27] Gin
    I'll make him pay for the crime of fooling a weak old man.
[10:32] Shachi
    Bro, was that your goal from the beginning?
[10:35] Gin
    Thanks for the help.
[10:38] Gin
    Now hide.
[10:39] Gin
    If you mess around any more, they'll hang you.
[10:42] Shachi
    Wait, you were using me for your own petty reasons?
[10:47] Shachi
    It's my turn to use you.
[10:50] Shachi
    I don't give a damn about the old man or the guards.
[10:54] Shachi
    But I can't let our sentences be extended because of one stupid warden.
[10:59] Shachi
    I'll act as a decoy and draw the attention of the guards.
[11:01] Shachi
    Use that opening to deal with this riot.
[11:03] Gin
    Wait, that's...
[11:05] Shachi
    Go crazy and get some more time tacked onto your sentence.
[11:08] Shachi
    Then we can continue to have a blast in this place.
[11:12] Gin
    Hey, wait!
[11:14] H
    Hey, look!
[11:16] H
    It's Shachi!
[11:17] H
    Get him!
[11:18] Shachi
    Catch me if you can.
[11:22] Shachi
    But it won't be easy to grab the sleeve of the king of criminals!
[11:27] H
    Your sleeves were ripped off!
[11:28] Shachi
    I'm counting on you, Bro.
[11:30] Gin
    Yeah, I got this, Buri.
[11:34] Shachi
    It's Shachi!
[11:37] G
    Damn! They used the commotion to run away!
[11:40] F
    Shachi's men aren't around either!
[11:42] C
    Damn! If the hostages escape, we'll be crushed!
[11:45] C
    Find them!
[11:51] B
    Warden, a lot of men have been injured.
[11:55] B
    We need to get them medical care.
[11:56] B
    Old man, hang in there. Hey, old man!
[12:00] Warden
    The prisoners want me.
[12:02] Warden
    I'll hold them here.
[12:05] B
    What?
[12:06] B
    But you'll be...
[12:08] A
    Are you trying to get yourself killed?!
[12:10] Warden
    Give this to the old man.
SIGN    Kuzunosuke Beri
[12:13] Warden
    It's the last letter.
[12:16] D
    Found ya.
[12:18] D
    Hey, what are you all doing here?
[12:23] Warden
    Move it!
[12:24] Warden
    If you don't hurry, I'll throw you into the disciplinary room!
[12:27] B
    Warden! We'll be back with help as soon as we can!
[12:29] A
    Don't die!
[12:30] Guards
    Warden!
[12:35] Warden
    Greetings.
[12:36] Warden
    I apologize that this isn't a letter from your son.
[12:39] Warden
    If you are reading this letter,
[12:43] Warden
    it means that I have disappeared for one reason or another,
[12:45] Warden
    and you are no longer receiving letters from your son.
[12:50] Warden
    However, you don't need to worry.
[12:52] Warden
    Your son is doing fine.
[12:55] Warden
    His work has taken him to another planet,
[12:57] Warden
    so it's difficult for him to send letters.
[13:01] Warden
    There is a lot of paperwork that has to be done
[13:03] Warden
    before you can receive mail from another planet.
[13:06] Warden
    I apologize that I was unable to continue delivering his letters.
[13:12] Warden
    I'm sure that you no longer remember,
[13:15] Warden
    but when I was first assigned this position,
[13:18] ---
    I was a complete outsider.
[13:20] Warden
    After causing trouble everywhere I went,
[13:22] ---
    my parents dumped me in prison.
[13:27] Warden
    The hardened criminals weren't going
[13:28] ---
    to listen to a clueless young fool,
[13:32] Warden
    and the guards resented me for my connections.
[13:38] Warden
    I would often find myself going to the oldest prisoner, you.
[13:44] Warden
    The rules of the prison,
[13:46] Warden
    methods for handling nasty prisoners,
[13:49] Warden
    the way to strike underhanded deals,
[13:51] Warden
    as well as the fact that the outside light was a ray of hope
[13:55] Warden
    for the prisoners in their dark cells...
[13:57] Warden
    I learned everything from you.
[14:01] Warden
    I can't say that I'm a respectable member of society.
[14:04] Warden
    I'm aware that I have nothing to be proud of.
[14:08] Warden
    However, you're the reason I'm able to stand
[14:11] ---
    on my own, unsightly legs.
[14:15] Warden
    All I could manage was to help deliver these letters.
[14:18] Warden
    However, I would be happy to know that they gave you hope.
[14:24] Warden
    There will be a significant delay before the next letter arrives,
[14:28] Warden
    but please don't forget that there is
[14:30] ---
    someone outside who is thinking of you.
[14:33] Warden
    Please remember that your son is not the only person
[14:37] ---
    who cares about you.
[14:39] Warden
    It was nice knowing you.
[14:43] Warden
    From the evil prison warden.
[14:46] C
    We finally shut him up.
[14:49] D
    Hey, we're not finished with you yet.
[14:52] D
    Excellent.
[14:53] D
    It's your favorite place, the disciplinary room.
SIGN    Disciplinary Room
[14:56] D
    This will make the perfect tomb.
[14:58] D
    Time to pay you back for all the abuse.
[15:11] Gin
    Hey, I have something to tell you guys who are
[15:14] ---
    never returning to society.
[15:16] Gin
    When entering someone else's cell, knock first.
[15:19] Gin
    That's prison etiquette.
[15:20] Gin
    Especially when you're entering the disciplinary room.
[15:23] Gin
    There might be a really violent criminal inside.
[15:27] All
    Son of a bitch!
[15:30] Warden
    B-Bastard...
[15:32] Warden
    Why are you here?
[15:35] Gin
    It's too early for you to die.
[15:37] Gin
    You haven't met your father yet, you stupid son.
[15:40] Warden
    Bastard...
[15:42] F
    Hey! Have you forgotten what he did to us?!
[15:45] Gin
    I haven't forgotten.
[15:46] Gin
    Let me handle this.
[15:48] Gin
    You've blown off enough steam.
[15:50] Gin
    If you still need some exercise, I'll be happy to take you on.
[15:54] Gin
    Well, warden?
[15:55] Gin
    Did you forget your promise to me?
[15:57] Gin
    If I make trouble, you'll set me free.
[16:01] Gin
    Now, who's the most stressed out guy here?
[16:04] Gin
    Let's start the first Tournament of Stress!
[16:07] Prisoners
    Bring it!
[16:09] Gin
    Welcome to my disciplinary room!
[16:13] F
    Warden!
[16:15] F
    Are you okay, Warden?
[16:17] B
    What? I don't see any of the prisoners who were rioting.
[16:20] F
    Over there! There's a prisoner!
[16:22] F
    Why is he in a western uniform?!
[16:24] B
    Hey, stop!
[16:25] B
    Where are you going?!
[16:26] Warden
    Enough.
[16:28] B
    Warden!
[16:29] Warden
    Set him free.
[16:31] B
    Huh?
[16:32] Warden
    These prison walls can't contain him.
[16:39] I
    The prison's really calmed down.
[16:42] J
    We got prison guards and prisoners sleeping next to each other.
[16:46] I
    They all need to relax.
[16:49] J
    Still, I'm surprised they haven't hanged us yet.
[16:53] I
    That's the thing.
[16:54] I
    I heard that we won't be punished.
[16:56] J
    Huh? Why not?
[16:57] J
    The warden isn't going to let us off.
[16:59] I
    Didn't you hear? The warden...
[17:06] Gin
    I heard that you're going to shoulder the prisoners' crimes.
[17:12] Warden
    I knew that it was risky to play with prisoners
[17:16] Warden
    since there are people like you.
[17:19] Gin
    What I did was nothing compared to your letter business.
[17:21] Gin
    You chose a kind illusion over harsh reality.
[17:25] Gin
    Since you made that choice,
[17:28] Gin
    you're obligated to keep up the lie until the very end.
[17:34] Gin
    But you got scared
[17:36] Gin
    that he would eventually find out you were lying.
[17:39] Gin
    So you gave up and ran away.
[17:43] Gin
    As a result, the old man's being allowed to meet up with his son again.
[17:47] Warden
    I no longer have the right to walk through this door.
[17:51] Gin
    You don't have the right to whine either.
[17:54] Gin
    You're supposed to be an evil warden.
[17:57] Gin
    Tell the old man the harsh truth and laugh in his face,
[18:01] Gin
    or keep feeding him illusions until the day he dies.
[18:03] Gin
    One or the other.
[18:05] Gin
    Make sure the old man knows your decision.
[18:07] Gin
    And then I'll forgive you for throwing me in the slammer.
[18:11] Gin
    Or else, I'll send your head flying and go back to jail.
[18:17] Warden
    If I'm an evil warden, you're a demon.
[18:22] Warden
    The old man never told me
[18:25] ---
    that it was so hard to give prisoners hope.
[18:30] Warden
    I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
[18:33] Gin
    True, you've been fooling the old man for a long time.
[18:38] Gin
    You pretended to be his son and offered him false hope.
[18:43] Gin
    But your feelings for the old man are no illusion.
[18:49] Gin
    Come on. It's time for the meeting.
[18:51] Warden
    Wait, I no longer...
[18:53] Gin
    No longer have the right to go in?
[18:56] Gin
    That's not true.
[19:01] Gin
    I have a criminal who's been
[19:03] ---
    accused of falsifying documents and identity fraud!
[19:06] Shachi
    O-Okay, get in here, maggot!
[19:08] Shachi
    The victim is waiting in the visiting room,
[19:10] Shachi
    you mother-licking insect!
[19:12] Warden
    Y-You bastards...
[19:15] D
    Yes, pajamas are the best.
[19:18] C
    I don't see anything happening.
[19:26] Gin
    Warden, time for some of the best prison role playing of your life.
[19:32] Shachi
    Listen up, you have ten minutes.
[19:34] Shachi
    Any longer and the chief will find out...
[19:36] Shachi
    I mean, you're not allowed to meet any longer!
[19:38] Shachi
    Got it?
[19:47] N
    Good grief.
[19:49] N
    We have so many nasty-looking guards around now.
[19:57] N
    I heard that you quit your job.
[20:00] N
    Do you have another job yet?
[20:03] Warden
    No, I'm searching still.
[20:07] N
    I see...
[20:12] N
    Well, I wish you the best of luck.
[20:16] N
    Try not to get yourself called an evil warden again.
[20:21] Warden
    Yeah...
[20:26] N
    Guard, we're finished.
[20:29] Shachi
    Huh? Already?
[20:32] Warden
    Wait, old man!
[20:33] Warden
    I've been...
[20:35] N
    Don't say anything.
[20:37] N
    We were able to make small talk, just like always.
[20:42] N
    That's all I need.
[20:44] Warden
    Old man, did you...
[20:49] N
    I read the letter.
[20:51] N
    It was better than usual.
[20:54] N
    But your handwriting is still ugly.
SIGN    Kuzunosuke Beri
[20:58] N
    Warden, I've always been writing letters to my son outside.
[21:05] N
    A son who turned out to have a nasty personality,
[21:11] N
    but that foolish son of mine is dedicated to his job.
[21:16] N
    I'm glad I was able to see you today.
[21:22] N
    Will you continue to write?
[21:35] Warden
    Yeah, I will.
[21:39] N
    It's a promise.
[21:41] Warden
    Yeah, whoever breaks the promise gets sent to the disciplinary room.
[21:47] Gin
    Ow!
SIGN    Next Episode: Speaking of Crossovers, Don't Forget About Alien vs. Predator
[23:30] A
    Next week at this time:
[23:32] A
    Sket Dance!
[23:33] A
    For real?!
[23:34] ---