Season 6

253 - Nobody with Natural Straight Hair Can Be That Bad

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Lake Toya
[00:05] Gin
    Hey, I'm back.
[00:12] Gin
    Didn't you hear that Gin-san's back?
[00:15] Gin
    Don't you idiots know how
    to welcome someone?!
[00:22] Gin
    Man, they're so mean.
[00:25] Gin
    Are they upset about the
    six month vacation?
[00:29] Gin
    Seriously, kids need way
    too much attention.
[00:33] Gin
    Hi!
[00:34] Gin
    Long time no see,
    Shin-chan, Kagura-chan!
[00:36] Gin
    How's it going?
[00:37] Gin
    Sorry I ran out on you for so long.
[00:40] Gin
    I brought you some Shinsengumi
    manju, so cheer up.
[00:47] Shin
    Honestly, what were you doing?
[00:49] Shin
    You're late.
[00:50] Kag
    Get dressed.
[00:52] Kag
    We have a visitor.
[00:53] ---
    Oh, yeah, sorry.
[00:54] Shin
    Hurry up!
[00:55] Shin
    Kin-san!
[00:55] Kag
    Kin-chan!
[00:57] Gin
    Kin-san?
SIGN    Be sure to watch Kintama in a well-lit room
    and sit some distance from the TV!!
[00:59] Kin
    Oh, sorry about that.
[01:02] Kin
    I've got a splitting headache after
    drinking too much last night.
[01:06] Kin
    Sorry about the poor reception.
[01:10] Kin
    I'm Odd Jobs Sakata Kintoki.
[01:15] Kin
    Please have a seat,
[01:18] Kin
    sir.
SIGN    Nobody with Natural Straight
    Hair Can Be That Bad
[02:56] Gin
    Sorry, I'm in the wrong place.
[03:01] Gin
    What the hell?
[03:03] Gin
    I'm so drunk, I ended up in a different
    anime and pulled a Breakfast Attack.
[03:07] Gin
    Yeah, that was a shock.
[03:08] Gin
    I didn't hear about this
    show being on TV Tokyo.
[03:12] Gin
    It looks like a ratings bomb
    to me, so I'd be worried.
[03:15] Gin
    The last time I saw a
    first episode this bad,
[03:18] Gin
    Gintama was switched to a different
    time slot six months later.
[03:21] Gin
    Maybe I should have
    given them some advice.
[03:24] Gin
    Like, to add a special
    attack or something.
[03:27] Gin
    And Kintama is such a crass title.
[03:30] Gin
    Why not something flashy
    like Kin no Exorcist?
[03:33] Gin
    They'll need to give that boring
    four-eyes a bunch of moles
[03:35] ---
    and turn him into the
    main character's little brother
[03:37] ---
    if they want the manga
    to sell a million copies.
[03:40] Gin
    And if they're going with
    a heroine that's a kid,
[03:40] [SONG] Song
    Sada-Sada Haru-Haru
    Gobbles everyone down
[03:41] Gin
    they should make her small
    enough to be a mascot,
[03:44] Gin
    then make her dance with that dog.
[03:44] [SONG] Song
    Tears everyone up
    Tomorrow will be another bloody day
[03:50] Gin
    The nail in the coffin would
    be the main character.
[03:52] Gin
    He's too polished.
[03:54] Gin
    Nobody's gonna remember a
    guy with straight hair.
[03:56] Gin
    The main character needs wavy hair.
SIGN    Odd Jobs Kin-chan
SIGN    Snack Otose
[04:00] Gin
    Anyway, their faces looked
    awfully familiar,
[04:02] Gin
    despite being a new show...
[04:04] Gin
    Whatever.
[04:06] Gin
    Time to go home.
[04:09] Gin
    Where is home?
[04:11] Gin
    Wait, it's not my hangover.
SIGN    Odd Jobs Kin-chan
[04:13] Gin
    The sign's changed, but
    that's clearly my home!
[04:17] Gin
    This isn't Ao no Exorcist
    or Aka no Exorcist*.
[04:21] Gin
    It's Dumb and Dumbercist!
[04:23] Gin
    That was clearly Shinpachi and Kagura!
[04:26] Gin
    The title changed from Gin to Kin.
SIGN    Gintama
SIGN    Kintama
[04:28] Gin
    Gold is more valuable than silver,
[04:30] ---
    but the title's gone down the gutter.
[04:32] Gin
    But everything else about this show
[04:35] Gin
    is clearly Gintama!
[04:38] Gin
    So, so...
[04:39] Gin
    Who is this guy, this man
    with blond straight hair?
[04:41] Gin
    Who is Sakata Kintoki?!
[04:44] Gin
    I wasn't gone that long.
[04:48] Gin
    What?
[04:48] Gin
    How?
[04:49] Gin
    Why?
[04:51] Shin
    So who was that guy anyway?
[04:55] Kagura
    He kind of reminded me of Kin-chan.
[04:58] Kin
    Really? My head isn't that screwy.
[05:02] Shin
    That's right.
[05:04] Shin
    You were born with straight hair
    and a straight personality.
[05:10] Shin
    Why was the main character's throne
    changed from silver to gold?!
[05:19] Shin
    Oh, so you have a job for us?
[05:23] Shin
    You just turned around
    and left earlier.
[05:24] Shin
    Is it something difficult
    to talk about?
[05:27] Kag
    Just let it all out!
[05:29] Kag
    Odd Jobs is here to help people!
[05:33] Gin
    Oh, really...
[05:36] Gin
    Then I'll talk.
[05:40] Gin
    The thing is, you see,
[05:43] ---
    I left the house for a while, and when
    I came back, something was wrong.
[05:48] Gin
    The entire anime was wrong.
[05:50] Gin
    I've lost my place.
[05:52] Shin
    Ah, I see.
[05:54] Kag
    Like returning from a business trip
[05:56] ---
    to find your wife with another man?
[05:58] Gin
    Yeah, yeah...
[05:59] Gin
    A strange man was wearing my bathrobe,
[06:02] ---
    digging through my fridge,
    and eating my pudding.
[06:05] Kag
    That would make me mad!
[06:07] Gin
    Right? Don't you want to kill him?
[06:09] Gin
    I'll °°°° the °°°°° °°°°
    °°° °° °°°° °°°°°!
[06:13] Gin
    I'm gone a few months and °°°
    °°°°°° °° ° °°°° into my house!
[06:17] Gin
    What the hell is his deal?!
[06:19] Shin
    Anyway, there's some
    paperwork to be done,
[06:21] ---
    so please give us your name.
[06:22] Gin
    Sakata Gintoki.
[06:24] Kag
    Wow, even your name is like Kin-chan's.
[06:27] Kag
    Are you long lost brothers?
[06:30] Gin
    They've completely forgotten
    about the main character?!
[06:33] Oto
    Stop it, now.
[06:35] ---
    He wouldn't want this
    loser as a brother.
[06:39] Kin
    Hey, that's cold, Gran.
[06:41] Gin
    Gran, too!
[06:43] Cath
    Absolutely, gold is
    much better than silver.
[06:47] Kin
    You're joining in, Catherine?
[06:49] Gin
    And Catherine!
[06:50] Gin
    It didn't take them long to
    switch from silver to gold!
[06:56] Gin
    What's going on?!
[06:57] Gin
    Did they pawn off five years
    of memories with Gin-san?!
[07:01] Gin
    How did you erase all the
    time spent with Gin-san?!
[07:05] Gin
    And worst of all...
[07:07] Kin
    Now, now. Have a drink,
    Gin-san or whatever.
[07:10] Kin
    We may not be related by blood,
[07:12] Kin
    but men can form bonds by
    having a drink together.
[07:15] Kin
    If you're having problems, let me know,
[07:17] Kin
    brother!
[07:18] Gin
    ...he's a much better main
    character than Gin-san!
[07:22] Kag
    Super, Kin-chan! That's
    why I love you!
[07:24] Shin
    Way to be a man, Kin-san!
[07:26] Gin
    And he's much better
    liked than Gin-san!
[07:27] Kin
    Well, let's get going.
[07:29] Oto
    Honestly, he's too nice.
[07:31] ---
    Don't do anything stupid.
[07:32] Kin
    Yeah, I'll leave this here to be safe.
[07:36] Kin
    That'll cover this month's rent.
[07:37] Oto
    Hold on. I don't charge
    this much for rent.
[07:42] Kin
    Please, you must be getting old.
[07:45] Kin
    In that case, you might as
    well forget about your job
[07:48] ---
    and go visit a hot spring.
[07:54] Oto
    Come back in one piece!
[07:56] Gin
    And he certainly has enough
    money to be golden!
[08:00] Gin
    My eyes! This guy is blinding me!
[08:04] Gin
    So my dull silver luster was
    devoured by his golden shine?!
[08:08] Gin
    That's why everyone forgot about
[08:10] ---
    Gin-san and switched to Kin-san?!
[08:13] Gin
    Seriously?! Are you serious?!
[08:14] Gin
    Gin-san's given you over
    sixty volumes of DVDs!
SIGN    Year 1
SIGN    Year 2 Year 1
SIGN    Year 3 Year 2 Year 1
SIGN    Year 4 Year 3 Year 2 Year 1
SIGN    Year 5 Year 4 Year 3 Year 2 Year 1
[08:18] Gin
    If you line up sixty volumes of DVDs,
[08:19] ---
    that's enough room
[08:21] ---
    for Tamo-san to take a nap!
[08:22] Gin
    Sleep your heart out!
SIGN    Young Jump
[08:24] Gin
    Meanwhile, that guy's
    only been on a single DVD
SIGN    Kintama
    Bonus DVD
[08:26] ---
    that came with a volume of manga!
[08:27] Gin
    You can't even fit Tamo-san's
    sunglasses on that!
[08:30] Gin
    He's still wet behind the ears!
[08:32] Gin
    Yet, look at the love he's getting.
[08:36] Gin
    In half a year, while I was gone,
[08:39] Gin
    he's repainted this city,
    this anime, from silver to gold?!
[08:43] Kin
    So, Bro, about your request...
[08:47] Kin
    Do you want to punish your wife,
[08:49] Kin
    or do you want payback
    on the other man?
[08:52] Kin
    Which would you prefer?
[08:54] Gin
    Neither.
[08:55] Kin
    Huh?
[08:56] Kin
    What do you want to do then?
[08:58] Gin
    Forget about gold and silver!
[08:59] Gin
    I'm going to paint this town red!
[09:03] Gin
    Could you help me carry these DVDs?
[09:09] Gin
    Oh, sorry!
[09:10] Gin
    The sixty volumes are so heavy
    that my hands slipped!
[09:13] Gin
    You're going to die from the impact
[09:15] ---
    of sixty volumes of DVDs to your skull!
[09:16] Kag
    Kin-chan!
[09:17] Shin
    Hey! What are you doing?!
[09:20] Gin
    Kochikame VHS tape collection slam!
[09:22] Shin
    Stop it!
[09:22] Gin
    If I let him survive, it'll be big trouble!
[09:22] Gin
    Complete One Piece DVD collection slam!
[09:23] Shin
    Stop!
[09:24] Shi
    Hey, stop it!
[09:24] Gin
    Naruto slam!
[09:25] Gin
    Bleach slam!
[09:28] Shin
    Didn't you hear me tell you to stop?!
[09:33] Shin
    What do you think you're
    doing to our Kin-san?!
[09:33] ---
    Kin-chan! Kin-chan, get up!
[09:35] Shin
    You're despicable!
[09:36] Shin
    Kin-san was trying to help
    you, a total stranger!
[09:39] Kag
    Kin-chan!
[09:41] Shin
    How could you do this to him?!
[09:42] Gin
    Hold on, Pachi-boy.
[09:44] Gin
    I'm not a total stranger.
[09:47] Shin
    Don't call me Pachi-boy!
[09:48] Shin
    How do you have the nerve?
[09:50] Gin
    Tell me you're lying, Kagura!
[09:53] Gin
    This is all an act, right?
[09:54] Gin
    You're trying to trick me again.
[09:57] Kag
    Get lost.
[09:58] Kag
    Never show your face
    in this town again.
[10:01] Kag
    If you come near Kin-chan
    again, you'll get it.
[10:05] Gin
    W-Wait, Shinpachi! Kagura!
[10:07] Gin
    Who is this Kin-san you
    keep talking about?!
[10:11] Gin
    Didn't the three of us work
    together as Odd Jobs?!
[10:14] Gin
    Are you saying the
    sixty volumes of DVDs
[10:17] ---
    we spent together meant nothing?!
[10:20] Shin
    What are you talking about?
[10:22] Shin
    We spent sixty volumes of DVDs
[10:26] ---
    with Kin-san!
[10:36] Shin
    A-A samurai?
[10:45] Kin
    Enough jabbering.
[10:47] Kin
    Are you in heat, fool?
[10:56] Gin
    Every episode's been edited!
[11:01] Gin
    I-Impossible!
[11:02] Gin
    This is... This is...
[11:06] Gin
    Wh-Who would have done
    an edit job worse
[11:09] ---
    than To Love-Ru Doki Doki*?!*
[11:12] Kyu
    You think you can beat the
    lightning speed of my sword?!
[11:15] Gin
    This one, too?!
[11:17] Otae
    Is he okay?
[11:19] Otae
    His hair's so wavy.
[11:20] Otae
    Perhaps he needs help?
[11:22] Kyu
    No, you should stay away from him.
[11:24] Kyu
    He might be one of those
    wavy-haired con artists.
[11:27] Kyu
    Let sleeping waves lie.
[11:29] Otae
    But we can't just ignore him.
[11:30] Otae
    I know. Let's ask Kin-san for help.
[11:33] Kyu
    Yes, Kintoki has helped us many times.
[11:37] Kyu
    He'll know what to do.
[11:38] Gin
    What's going on?
[11:40] Gin
    This DVD is also...
[11:41] Sa
    Guess who?
[11:44] Gin
    Sa-chan!
[11:46] Gin
    Do you recognize me?
[11:49] Sa
    Who are you?!
[11:52] Sa
    That's odd. I thought he was Kin-san.
[11:56] Gin
    So this DVD is also...
[11:58] Tsu
    What do you think?
[11:59] ---
    This is the Kabuki district, where
    Kintoki and his friends live.
[12:02] Hino
    Oh, it reminds me of Yoshiwara.
[12:05] Sei
    Right?
[12:06] ---
    There's strands of torn-out
    hair everywhere.
[12:08] Gin
    And this one!
[12:10] Zura
    Hurry, Elizabeth!
SIGN    Win the Costume Grand Prix!!
[12:12] Zura
    We've spent six months perfecting
[12:13] ---
    our techniques to use against Kin-chan!
[12:16] Zura
    Why would you do that?
[12:17] Zura
    Cut me some slack!
[12:19] Zura
    Okay, you pass!
[12:20] Gin
    I-I haven't just been forgotten.
[12:24] Gin
    My existence has been wiped
    clean from this town,
[12:29] ---
    from the sixty volumes of DVDs...
[12:31] Gin
    Sakata Gintoki's accomplishments
    and history
[12:36] Gin
    have been stolen by Sakata Kintoki!
[12:49] Gin
    Pops, give me another one
    so I can forget everything.
[12:54] Pop
    Honestly, you should
    stop for the night.
[12:57] Gin
    If it's money you're
    worried about, don't.
[12:59] Gin
    You'll forget I was
    ever here soon enough.
[13:03] Pop
    What are you talking about?
[13:06] Kin
    Give me a hot one, Pops.
[13:07] Kin
    One for this guy, too.
[13:09] Kin
    Oh, sir. Thank you.
[13:11] Kin
    There are times when men have no choice
[13:13] ---
    but to drink.
[13:15] Kin
    Right, Bro?
[13:17] Kin
    What happened?
[13:18] Gin
    Nothing.
[13:20] Gin
    I have nothing left.
[13:24] Gin
    Nothing at all...
[13:26] Kin
    Did you lose at the tracks?
[13:28] Gin
    Yeah, something like that.
[13:31] Gin
    I gambled my life and lost
    it all in a single night.
[13:35] Kin
    A golden horse stole victory
    at the very last second?
[13:44] Gin
    B-Bastard!
[13:46] Kin
    Calm down, Bro.
[13:48] Kin
    I bought you a drink
    as a peace offering.
[13:51] Kin
    Sit down and join me.
[13:53] Gin
    Don't mess with me!
[13:58] Kin
    I told you to drink.
[14:00] Gin
    B-Bastard!
[14:04] Gin
    Who the hell are you?!
[14:09] Gin
    What did you do to Shinpachi
    and everyone else?!
[14:11] Kin
    I didn't do a thing.
[14:13] Kin
    Didn't you watch the DVDs?
[14:15] Kin
    They should have been self-explanatory.
[14:17] Gin
    Bullshit! I was the one
    who did everything!
[14:20] Kin
    But how can you prove it?
[14:23] Kin
    You're the only one who believes that.
[14:25] Kin
    Nobody can even remember you.
[14:29] Kin
    I can guess what you're thinking.
[14:32] Kin
    That I'm using illusions
    to trick everyone.
[14:36] Kin
    But there's another way to look at it.
[14:38] Kin
    You're the one who's gone crazy.
[14:41] Kin
    Your memories are all delusions.
[14:46] Kin
    As you watched my success,
[14:49] ---
    you began to think that you were me.
[14:53] Kin
    Maybe, as you were watching
    those sixty DVD volumes,
[14:56] ---
    you were fantasizing that
    they were about you.
[15:00] Gin
    That's impossible!
[15:01] Kin
    But you're the only person in
[15:03] ---
    this world who thinks that way.
[15:05] Kin
    Don't you get it?
[15:06] Kin
    You're the one who's crazy.
[15:09] Kin
    You're the only one complaining.
[15:12] Kin
    Weren't you watching?
[15:13] Kin
    Life goes on just fine without you.
[15:17] Kin
    I dare say it's going better
    than in your fantasy world.
[15:22] Kin
    That's reality.
[15:24] Kin
    Nobody's looking at you.
[15:27] Kin
    Nobody needs you.
[15:30] Kin
    Because I'm here.
[15:32] Kin
    There's no place for you here.
[15:39] A
    Hey, watch where you're going!
[15:41] B
    Hold it right there!
[15:42] A
    I told you to wait!
[15:43] Gin
    Yeah, he's right.
[15:46] Mid
    Damn drunk!
[15:48] Mid
    Don't show your face
    in this town again!
[15:51] Gin
    I'm the one who isn't
    needed in this world.
SIGN    You Will Not Defeat Me!
[15:56] Gin
    I'm the one who doesn't belong
    in a prime time anime.
[16:01] A
    Sir, time's up.
[16:04] B
    S-Sir?
[16:06] C
    Wait, look!
[16:07] Mid
    B-Boss!
[16:10] Gin
    I'm burned...
[16:12] Gin
    Completely burned out...
[16:14] Gin
    Not gold, not silver...
[16:17] Gin
    I've been reduced to white ash.
SIGN    The End
[16:23] A
    Don't try to end the show so
    you don't have to pay up!
[16:26] B
    It's not over yet! There's
    plenty more to come!
[16:29] B
    Stand up!
[16:30] B
    Stand up, bastard!
[16:48] Gin
    Shut up, dog.
[16:50] Gin
    Leave me alone.
[16:51] Gin
    You can ignore a side
    character like me.
[16:57] Gin
    I told you to go away...
[17:05] Gin
    Sadaharu...
[17:15] Gin
    Sadaharu, do you recognize me?
[17:20] Tama
    I found you.
[17:22] Tama
    The gold hasn't gotten to
    one person, one animal,
[17:29] Tama
    and one machine.
[17:32] ---
    I've been looking for you, Master Gintoki.
[17:37] Gin
    Ta-Tama...
[17:38] Gin
    Why are you...
[17:40] Tama
    Do not worry.
[17:42] Tama
    The rest of the world may
    have forgotten about you,
[17:45] ---
    but you will always
    remain in my data bank.
[17:48] Tama
    Because I always hold
    the reset button when
[17:50] ---
    I turn off the power and go to sleep.
[17:53] Tama
    I'm sure you do the same thing.
[17:58] Tama
    True,
[18:00] ---
    your luster may not have
    been as bright as gold...
[18:03] Tama
    You only shined on occasion.
[18:08] Tama
    You were always arguing and fighting.
[18:12] Tama
    You had wavy hair. You were lazy.
[18:15] Tama
    You were the king of sexual harassment.
[18:17] Tama
    You never paid the rent.
[18:19] Tama
    You paid your people late.
[18:21] Tama
    Still, you were brighter than
    the fake glint of gold plating.
[18:26] Tama
    When you were angry, your
    entire soul was enraged.
[18:29] Tama
    When you laughed, you laughed
    with all your heart.
[18:33] Tama
    Your silver was much more beautiful.
[18:42] Tama
    You haven't forgotten
    that light, have you?
[18:45] Tama
    You haven't allowed that fake
    light to trick you, have you?
[18:50] Tama
    In that case, you should stand
    up and take this sword
[18:55] Tama
    to repaint this world that
    has been repainted gold.
[19:01] Tama
    You will never lose to Sakata Kintoki.
SIGN    Kin-chan has your back Odd Jobs Kin-chan
[19:04] Tama
    You won't lose to a blond.
    You won't lose to straight hair.
[19:08] Tama
    You won't lose to gold.
SIGN    Lake Toya
[19:10] Tama
    Try to remember what
    color your soul is.
[19:19] Gin
    I haven't forgotten.
[19:21] Gin
    I will never forget.
[19:24] Gin
    My soul has been colored
    by every one of you fools.
[19:31] Gin
    It's a dirty silver!
[19:49] Gin
    This isn't over yet.
[19:54] Gin
    I'm just getting started.
SIGN    Gintama Episode 253 Nobody with Straight Blond Hair Can Be That Good
SIGN    Nobody with Straight Blond Hair
    Can Be That Good
[20:12] Gin
    We're taking back our color.
[20:14] Gin
    We're taking down this world of gold!
SIGN    Gintama Episode 253
    Nobody with Straight Blond Hair
    Can Be That Good
[20:18] Gin
    Let's go!
SIGN    Odd Jobs Kin-chan
[20:25] Gin
    Uh, excuse me.
[20:27] Gin
    Is Kintoki-kun here?
[20:29] Kin
    Sorry, I'm taking a bath right now.
[20:32] Kin
    Could you wait a bit?
[20:33] Gin
    Oh, it's okay.
[20:35] Gin
    Then I'll leave this letter
    of challenge here.
[20:38] Gin
    Oh, maybe I should just come back.
[20:40] Tama
    What are you doing?
[20:42] ---
    Are you here to fool
    around? Are you an idiot?
[20:44] Gin
    Well, for some reason, it feels awkward
[20:46] ---
    to step inside my own home,
[20:47] Gin
    but at the same time, I don't
    want to wreck my own place.
[20:50] Tama
    Come over here.
[20:51] ---
    Do you believe we can
    win without a plan?
[20:57] Tama
    I'll be blunt.
[20:58] ---
    The way things stand now, it's
    impossible for you to win.
[21:01] Gin
    Didn't you just say I will never lose?
[21:03] Tama
    Straight blond hair, honest,
    and fairly well-off.
[21:07] Tama
    How could you ever defeat
    someone who has conquered
[21:11] ---
    every one of your weaknesses?
[21:13] Gin
    Huh? What?
[21:14] Gin
    Are you trying to beat my ass
[21:16] ---
    or tear my rectum out of my ass?
[21:18] ---
    Which is it?
[21:19] Tama
    I'm beating your ass with your rectum.
[21:21] Tama
    Start by reading this.
[21:23] Tama
    You must know your enemy
    before you can start a war.
[21:27] Gin
    An instruction manual?
    Are you serious?
SIGN    Instruction Manual Confidential
[21:30] Gin
    How am I supposed to find
    information about him in here?
[21:32] Gin
    He's not a plastic model.
[21:37] Kin
    Sorry to keep you waiting.
[21:40] Kin
    I was washing my head.
[21:45] Kin
    Huh? Nobody's here?
[21:49] Tama
    Yes, Sakata Kintoki was created
[21:52] ---
    by Gengai-sama at the request of
[21:54] Tama
    Shinpachi-sama and Kagura-sama
    as a substitute Odd Jobs leader.
[21:58] Tama
    A perfect Sakata Gintoki who
    had overcome his weaknesses.
SIGN    Ginpla Collection Perfect Kintoki
[22:06] Tama
    The Perfect Super Golden Alloy,
    Sakata Gintoki Unit 02.
[22:10] Tama
    Or Kin-san, for short.
SIGN    To be continued...
SIGN    Kintoki and Gintoki
[23:46] Kin
    Next time on Kintama:
[23:47] Kin
    Kintoki and Gintoki.

254 - Kintoki and Gintoki

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Gin
    So, so...
[00:01] Gin
    Who is this guy, this man
    with blond straight hair?
[00:04] Gin
    Who is Sakata Kintoki?!
[00:05] Shin
    Why was the main character's throne
    changed from silver to gold?!
[00:12] Gin
    Sakata Gintoki's accomplishments
    and history
[00:14] Gin
    have been stolen by Sakata Kintoki!
[00:17] Tama
    In that case, you should stand
    up and take this sword.
[00:21] Gin
    We're taking back our color.
[00:23] Gin
    We're taking down this world of gold!
[00:25] Kin
    Sorry to keep you waiting.
[00:28] Kin
    I was washing my head.
[00:31] Tama
    Yes, Sakata Kintoki was created
SIGN    Odd Jobs Kin-chan
SIGN    Snack Otose
[00:33] ---
    at the request of Shinpachi-sama
    and Kagura-sama.
[00:36] Tama
    The Perfect Super Golden Alloy,
    Sakata Gintoki Unit 02.
[00:40] Tama
    Or Kin-san, for short.
[02:14] Gin
    A perfect Sakata Gintoki who
    had overcome his weaknesses...
[02:22] Gin
    Wait? What?
[02:24] Gin
    Are you saying that...
[02:26] Gin
    What are you saying?
[02:28] Tama
    He's a plastic model.
[02:30] Gin
    Ah, he's a plastic model.
[02:33] Gin
    How am I supposed to
    believe that, fool?!
[02:34] Gin
    That's too simple!
[02:36] Gin
    How about some details?!
[02:37] Gin
    How can he be a plastic model?!
[02:38] Gin
    You must be lying!
    Tell me you're lying!
[02:40] Tama
    The newer plastic models come
    with detail before assembly.
[02:43] Gin
    That's not what I meant!
[02:45] Gin
    Why does this even exist?!
[02:46] Gin
    Why has it taken over this anime?!
[02:48] Tama
    As I explained earlier...
SIGN    Doll House
[02:51] Shin
    I can't believe our leader
    ditched us at such a busy time.
[02:56] Kag
    No kidding.
[02:57] ---
    We need every hand we can get.
[02:59] Gen
    I can't offer any hands,
    but I can provide help.
[03:01] Both
    Huh?
[03:02] Gen
    I've been working on this
    useless toy for a while.
[03:06] Tama
    Gengai-sama first built the
    robot to serve as an assistant.
[03:11] Tama
    But then they decided to
    use it as a substitute leader
[03:14] Tama
    since you were gone all the time.
[03:17] Tama
    Yes...
[03:18] Tama
    That was...
[03:19] Tama
    Perfect Gintoki Unit 01.
[03:21] Kag
    Yes! This is great!
[03:23] Gin
    Is that what the leader is used for?
[03:24] Gen
    You feel better now, right?
[03:26] Tama
    In the beginning, it still
    resembled Master Gintoki.
[03:29] Kag
    I thought his hair was more wavy.
[03:31] Tama
    But then they began
    making improvements
[03:32] ---
    to make it more
    like the Odd Jobs leader.
[03:35] Gin
    No, that's the wrong leader!
[03:36] ---
    He leads a different trio!
[03:37] Tama
    This was a better leader.
[03:39] Tama
    This was the leader they wanted.
[03:41] Tama
    At some point, they began customizing
[03:42] ---
    the robot into their ideal leader.
[03:44] Gen
    How's this?
[03:45] Shin
    Looks good.
[03:46] Shin
    Okay, I'm up next then.
[03:50] Shin
    Die, Gintoki!
[03:52] Shin
    Give me more screen time!
[03:56] Tama
    It was no longer Master Gintoki.
[04:00] Kin
    Hey, freaks.
[04:03] Kin
    What's so fun about beating
    up a helpless man?
[04:05] Kin
    And you're supposed to
    be Odd Jobs members?
[04:07] Tama
    They had created their ideal leader.
[04:09] Tama
    A perfect leader that
    surpassed the original.
[04:12] Kin
    If you're going to do
    dirty business, quit now.
[04:18] Tama
    Covering silver...
[04:20] Kin
    Stand up. Come with me.
[04:22] Kin
    Today is the birthday
    of the New Odd Jobs!
[04:25] Tama
    ...with brilliant gold.
[04:28] Tama
    Things took off from there.
[04:30] Tama
    He led Odd Jobs on a
    campaign of good deeds.
[04:34] Tama
    Word spread and Odd Jobs quickly became
[04:38] ---
    accepted as heroes by the town.
[04:41] Tama
    However, he didn't stop after taking
    over as the new face of Odd Jobs.
[04:45] Tama
    In order to fulfill his one and only
    duty, to replace Master Gintoki,
[04:50] Tama
    he made every person in this town forget
[04:55] ---
    the real Odd Jobs leader, you.
[04:59] Tama
    He used special hypnotic waves
    to manipulate their brains
[05:03] Tama
    so they would replace you
    with him in their memories.
[05:10] Tama
    Sadaharu-sama and I are the
    only ones who weren't affected
[05:13] Tama
    because his hypnosis didn't
    work on machines or animals.
[05:17] Tama
    Do you understand now, Master Gintoki?
[05:19] Tama
    His goal...
[05:22] Tama
    Kintoki's goal...
[05:25] Tama
    ...is to completely replace
    the original Odd Jobs leader.
[05:27] Tama
    In other words, to become
    the real Odd Jobs leader.
[05:34] Gin
    The hell?!
[05:36] Gin
    Why did you just sneak in the
    episode title Bleach style?!
[05:39] Gin
    This is turning into a different anime!
[05:40] Gin
    This is how we roll!
SIGN    Kintoki and Gintoki
[05:44] Tama
    That's wrong too.
[05:47] Tama
    Anyway, one day is all it
[05:49] ---
    should take for you to
    understand what's happened.
[05:51] Gin
    One day was all it took for them
    to switch from silver to gold.
[05:55] Gin
    Why am I letting a plastic
    model dictate my life?!
[05:57] Gin
    I'm not Kyoshiro!
[05:59] Gin
    You people need to take responsibility
    for creating the monster!
[06:00] Tama
    Unfortunately, Gengai-sama
    was also brainwashed.
[06:03] Tama
    The creature is out of
    the creator's control.
[06:07] Tama
    If you intend to take him on,
[06:08] ---
    you'll be going up against
    all of your friends.
[06:14] Tama
    First, we must help
    everyone remember you.
[06:17] Gin
    Is that possible?!
[06:19] Tama
    While your past accomplishments
    have been overwritten,
[06:22] Tama
    the only difference is straight
    hair instead of wavy,
[06:25] Tama
    and nothing you did was changed.
[06:29] Tama
    In other words, there
    is a disconnect because
[06:31] ---
    perfect Kintoki behaved
    like a buffoon in the past.
[06:35] Gin
    Wait, what's that supposed to mean?
[06:37] Tama
    If we bring out that disconnect,
    their memories may return.
[06:42] Tama
    We'll need their help to defeat Kintoki.
[06:47] Tama
    You must take back your friends.
SIGN    Tenny's
[06:49] Tama
    Help them remember the man
    called Sakata Gintoki.
SIGN    Snack Smile
[06:55] Otae
    Oh, I'm very worried.
[06:57] Otae
    Do you know where
[06:59] ---
    Tama-san and Sadaharu-kun
    may have gone?
[07:01] Kin
    We searched the whole town with Gran,
[07:03] ---
    but we couldn't find them.
[07:05] Kag
    Oh, no...
[07:06] Kag
    What if Sadaharu and
    Tama don't come back?
[07:10] Kag
    I'll... I'll...
[07:12] Kin
    Don't worry.
[07:13] Kin
    You couldn't kill them if you tried.
[07:16] Kag
    Kin-chan...
[07:18] Kin
    I'll find them. Promise.
[07:21] Kin
    So don't look so sad.
[07:23] Kin
    We came here to cheer you up.
[07:26] A
    What's that, Kin-san?
[07:29] A
    I thought you came here to see me.
[07:31] Kin
    Oh, sorry about that.
[07:33] Kin
    Hey, can you bring
    every table a bottle?
[07:37] Kin
    Guys, I'm buying!
[07:39] Kin
    Drink as much as you want.
[07:40] Kin
    In return, let us know if you see them!
[07:43] B
    Kin-san does it again!
[07:45] B
    You can count on us!
[07:46] ---
    We'd do anything for you!
[07:50] Otae
    It looks like Kin-san has
    everything under control.
[07:53] Kag
    Yep.
[07:53] A
    Uh, please wait.
[07:55] A
    We don't allow animals inside.
[07:58] Tama
    As far as I'm concerned,
    humans are all animals.
[08:02] Tama
    Besides, he's a member
    of Odd Jobs Sepia.
[08:06] Tama
    Isn't that right, Master Gintoki?
[08:10] Shin
    What are you people doing?!
[08:12] Kag
    Sadaharu! And Tama!
[08:13] Kag
    You're okay?!
[08:14] Kag
    But why are you dressed like that?!
[08:15] Tama
    We are not Tama and Sadaharu.
[08:17] Tama
    We are Tamagura and Sadahachi
    of Odd Jobs Sepia.
[08:21] Shin
    What's the idea, Tama-san?!
[08:22] ---
    What are you talking about?!
[08:23] Kag
    Hey! Are you the one who made
    Tama and Sadaharu sepia?!
[08:27] Gin
    Excuse me, Otae-san.
[08:29] Gin
    I heard you had work for Odd Jobs.
[08:31] Otae
    Huh? You mean the request to
    repair the karaoke machine?
[08:34] Otae
    But Kin-san's group is on it.
[08:35] Gin
    You should try us instead
    of those slackers.
[08:38] Gin
    I promise that we'll be more useful.
[08:41] Kag
    Hey! First you copy us, and
    now you're stealing our work?!
[08:45] A
    Oh, it's over here!
[08:46] Shin
    Ah! H-Hold on!
[08:49] Tama
    Understood?
[08:50] Tama
    We must steal their glory
    and draw attention
[08:53] Tama
    to help them remember you.
[08:55] Gin
    Yeah, I know. I got this, Matagura.
[08:58] Tama
    It's Tamagura.
[08:58] Gin
    Okay, this is it?
[09:00] Gin
    This is a new model with all
    the parts to TRA-BRYU's "Road"?
[09:02] A
    Yes, that and 300,000 other songs.
[09:04] Gin
    Okay, I got it.
[09:06] Gin
    There isn't enough room here
    so I'll move it over there. Upsie...
[09:09] Gin
    Oh, sorry!
[09:10] Gin
    The 300,000 parts to "Road" are
    so heavy that I lost my grip!
[09:13] Tama
    Master Gintoki!
[09:14] Tama
    Calm down! It's not the
    time to unleash your rage!
[09:15] Gin
    "Road," Part One!
[09:16] Gin
    "Road," Part Two!
[09:17] Gin
    "Road," Part Three!
[09:19] Gin
    Boo!
[09:19] Shin
    Why are you talking like it's a haunted house?!
[09:22] Shin
    Cut it out!
[09:23] Shin
    Why do you keep doing this?!
[09:25] Gin
    Shit, I lost control!
[09:26] Shin
    You've completely destroyed
    the karaoke machine!
[09:28] Tama
    It's fine. He was simply preparing
    this machine for me to dive inside.
[09:32] Gin
    Right, she can communicate with
    broken machines and repair them.
SIGN    Fresh Oil
[09:39] Tama
    Want a drink?
[09:40] Tama
    So what's wrong? You look blue.
[09:43] Tama
    You still can't forget
    about Mr. Steamer?
[09:45] Gin
    There we go! Machines on
    their afternoon break!
[09:48] Tama
    I told you to give up on him.
[09:50] Tama
    He's not going to leave his wife.
[09:52] Tama
    Plus, he's been cooking it up every
    night with Telly the receptionist.
[09:57] Tama
    He's always ready to move
    on to his next target.
[10:01] Tama
    If you let that man play you,
[10:03] ---
    it won't be long before
    you're fizzled out.
[10:06] Tama
    Oh, there's a mixer with Dyson
    from Foreign Capital tonight.
SIGN    Dyson
[10:10] Gin
    Go, Tama!
[10:11] Gin
    Show them the true power of Odd Jobs!
[10:13] Kin
    Wait.
[10:15] Kin
    Mr. Steamer wants to talk.
[10:17] Gin
    H-He can also communicate?!
[10:20] Kin
    Mr. Steamer was turned
    off a long time ago.
[10:24] Kin
    Ever since he returned
    from a business trip
SIGN    Healsio
[10:26] ---
    to find his wife cooking
    it up with Healsio.
[10:28] Kin
    After that...
[10:30] Kin
    He turned to you and
    Telly out of loneliness.
[10:32] Kin
    But you should know well that
    he can no longer cook anyone.
[10:36] Tama
    You mean that Karaoky and
[10:38] ---
    Mr. Steamer had a platonic relationship?
[10:39] Kin
    When you went to the karaoke bar,
[10:42] ---
    he felt himself get a little warm,
[10:44] ---
    even though he wasn't turned on.
[10:46] Tama
    He's lying! Don't be fooled!
[10:47] Tama
    Mr. Steamer would never say that!
[10:49] Kin
    Could you play that song for him again?
[10:52] Tama
    Don't, Karaoky!
[10:55] Otae
    And cry on your own...
[10:59] Otae
    Then you'll shine bright,
[11:01] Otae
    Ultra Soul!
[11:03] All
    Hey!
[11:05] Shin
    Way to go, Kin-san!
[11:06] Shin
    You always come through!
[11:07] Kag
    I'm up next!
[11:08] Kag
    Let me sing!
[11:13] Kyu
    As you can see, after
    I gave him a scolding,
[11:16] ---
    he's refusing to come down.
[11:18] Kyu
    I'm not sure what to do,
    so I went to you.
[11:20] Gin
    Okay, okay. I got this one.
[11:21] Gin
    Rise of the Planet of the Apes, right?
[11:24] Gin
    We can handle this.
[11:25] Shin
    Hey!
[11:25] Shin
    Cut it out already!
[11:26] Shin
    Can you stop butting in?!
[11:28] Gin
    Damn! This time, I'm
    going to steal the show!
[11:35] Gin
    Sadahachi's on the move!
SIGN    Translation: So what's wrong? You look blue.
[11:36] Gin
    Can he communicate with other animals?!
[11:39] Gin
    Nope, it didn't work!
[11:40] Gin
    Dogs and monkeys just don't get along!
[11:42] Kin
    That's enough.
[11:44] Kin
    I don't know what you were
    saying, but I can say this.
[11:49] Kin
    I understand you.
[11:51] Kag
    Wow, Kin-chan! You were instantly
    able to understand him!
[11:53] Gin
    Hold on!
[11:54] Gin
    That's not Kin-san!
[11:56] Gin
    That's not the Odd Jobs leader!
[11:57] Gin
    Look closely! That's a different leader!
[12:00] Gin
    Everybody together now...
[12:04] Kin
    Then you'll shine bright,
[12:06] Kin
    Ultra Soul!
[12:08] All
    Hey!
[12:08] Gin
    Why do you have to end everything
    with a performance of Ultra Soul?!
[12:12] Gin
    And Tama!
[12:12] Gin
    Why are you guys over there?!
[12:14] C
    Stop! Come down!
[12:17] Sa
    Stay away! I'm going to jump!
[12:19] Tsu
    Apparently, her favorite customer
    was stolen by a harlot.
[12:23] Tsu
    I'll never understand romantic
    affairs. It's beyond me.
[12:27] Gin
    I'm feeling blue.
[12:29] Gin
    I'd like to be alone,
    so can you go away?
[12:31] Shin
    There's someone who's completely blue!
SIGN    Green Tea
[12:34] Kin
    Calm down.
[12:35] Kin
    Care to join me for a
    drink before you die?
[12:38] Shin
    Kin-san's also up there!
[12:39] Tama
    Master Gintoki, this is
    a direct showdown!
[12:41] Tama
    You can't lose!
[12:44] Sa
    Stay back! Leave me alone!
[12:46] Kin
    If you wanted to be left alone, you
    wouldn't try to die in public.
[12:50] Gin
    She just wanted to see the
    gloomy sky one last time.
[12:52] Gin
    Gloomy as I feel inside.
[12:54] Shin
    The other guy's not even
    trying to persuade her!
[12:56] Shin
    He might jump first!
[12:57] Kin
    Let it out.
[12:59] Kin
    It's easier to talk to
    strangers sometimes.
[13:01] Gin
    You can't help me...
[13:03] Kin
    He's not talking to you!
[13:04] Tsu
    Then I'll hear you out!
[13:06] Tsu
    Start talking!
[13:07] Shin
    You're not part of this either!
[13:09] Sa
    Um, this may sound
    strange coming from me,
[13:10] ---
    but I believe you should let
    everything out before you die.
[13:12] Shin
    You too?!
[13:14] C
    Yeah, bro! Tell us what's
    wrong! Cheer up!
[13:16] D
    Don't give up!
[13:17] Shin
    Wait!
[13:18] Shin
    Hey, who's helping who here?!
[13:20] Gin
    Shut up! Don't be nice to me!
[13:22] Gin
    I'm gonna cry!
[13:24] Gin
    I'm glad I met some total strangers who
[13:27] ---
    actually cared about a loser like me.
[13:32] C
    Wait, bro!
[13:33] Tama
    No.
[13:34] Tama
    Jumpers are usually so worked
    up about their own problems
[13:37] ---
    that they don't pay
    attention to other people.
[13:39] Tama
    But if they see someone more
    unfortunate than themselves,
[13:44] Tama
    they will hesitate.
[13:46] Tama
    He's faking it!
[13:48] Tama
    Silver can decipher
    human emotion in a way
[13:50] ---
    that the golden machine cannot!
[13:52] Gin
    Oh, sorry!
[13:53] Gin
    My heart's so heavy that
    I slipped and fell!
[13:56] Sa
    Stop!
[13:57] Sa
    What are you doing to Kin-san?!
[14:00] Gin
    I-It's you?!
[14:05] Sa
    I just wanted Kin-san to
    give me some attention!
[14:08] Gin
    Sa—
[14:09] Kin
    Gintoki, you're finished now—
[14:19] Tam
    Master Gintoki!
[14:25] Shin
    That was crazy!
[14:29] Gin
    It wasn't crazy.
[14:31] Gin
    I knew you'd be there for me.
SIGN    Odd Jobs Kin-chan
SIGN    Snack Otose
SIGN    Sugar Content
[14:50] Shin
    What exactly happened?
[14:55] Shin
    When I saw him falling,
    my body moved by itself.
[15:00] Tama
    Master Gintoki! Sa-chan-sama!
[15:02] Tama
    Are you hurt?
[15:04] Gin
    Yeah, her head's a little funny,
    but it always has been.
[15:07] Gin
    We're fine.
[15:08] Tama
    Shinpachi-sama, Kagura-sama.
[15:10] Tama
    Thank you very much.
[15:12] Tama
    You've finally remembered Master Gintoki.
[15:16] Both
    Huh?
[15:18] Shin
    What do you mean?
[15:22] Gin
    It's okay, Tama.
[15:24] Gin
    That's how they are.
[15:25] Gin
    It doesn't matter who I am.
[15:29] Gin
    They'll move without thinking
    to save someone in trouble.
[15:32] Gin
    They can't stand around when
    something bad is going down.
[15:35] Gin
    They move without considering
    the consequences.
[15:38] Gin
    Those are the kind of
    fools who join Odd Jobs.
[15:43] Gin
    They haven't forgotten that.
[15:45] Gin
    That's all I needed to know.
[15:47] Gin
    As long as they've got that,
[15:48] ---
    it doesn't matter who the leader is.
[15:51] Kag
    Master Gintoki!
[15:52] Gin
    You saved my life, kids.
[15:55] Gin
    Well, yeah...
[15:57] Gin
    I guess.
[15:59] Gin
    Thanks for everything.
[16:03] Gin
    Take care, Odd Jobs.
[16:08] Kag
    Why did he look so sad?
[16:13] Kag
    Why do we feel so unhappy?
[16:17] Kag
    It's like we've forgotten
    something important.
[16:20] Kag
    Like we threw away an ice cream carton
    lid without licking it first.
[16:25] Shin
    Kagura-chan...
[16:27] Shin
    Wouldn't that just be garbage?
[16:32] Otae
    That's right, and then he used
[16:34] ---
    the karaoke machine to hit
    Kin-san in the head.
[16:36] Kyu
    Oh, so he was acting the
    same when you saw him.
[16:40] Otae
    He's such a strange person.
[16:42] Kyu
    Yes.
[16:45] Otae
    Oddly enough, this seems so familiar.
[16:49] Otae
    Didn't we used to laugh like this before?
[16:52] Kyu
    Don't we laugh all the time?
[16:54] Otae
    I'm having fun now, too.
[16:56] Otae
    But something seems different.
[16:58] Otae
    It feels like something's missing.
[17:01] Kyu
    What's that?
[17:03] Otae
    I don't know...
[17:06] Otae
    But if I had to describe this feeling,
[17:08] Otae
    it's like I've dropped a glove
    in the middle of the road.
SIGN    Hinoya Tea
[17:11] Tsu
    Fool.
[17:12] Tsu
    What are you doing?
[17:14] Tsu
    You should take better
    care of yourself.
[17:16] Sa
    I wasn't planning on dying!
[17:19] Sa
    Besides, Tsu-ki, this
    wouldn't have happened
[17:21] ---
    if you hadn't put moves on Kin-san!
[17:22] Tsu
    When have I ever put moves on him?!
[17:24] Tsu
    That would be you!
[17:26] Tsu
    Honestly, what would have
    happened if that guy wasn't there?
[17:29] Tsu
    In any case, he was crazy.
[17:32] Tsu
    That was beyond reckless.
[17:33] Sa
    Tsu-ki, something's wrong with me.
[17:36] Tsu
    Yes, I know.
[17:36] Sa
    No, that's not what I meant.
[17:39] Sa
    I wanted to thank him,
[17:41] ---
    but my chest started to
    hurt and I couldn't speak.
[17:44] Sa
    This feeling couldn't be...
[17:45] Sa
    I'm not cheating on Kin-san, right?
[17:47] Sa
    I'm okay, right?
[17:48] Tsu
    No, you're not okay.
[17:49] Sa
    Seriously, that's not what I meant.
[17:51] Sa
    I was wondering why I would
    be attracted to this loser.
[17:55] Tsu
    Yes, you're guilty.
[17:56] Sa
    Can you drop it already, bitch!
[17:59] Hino
    That means you're attracted
    to men who fail.
[18:01] Hino
    You're in for a hard life.
[18:02] Sa
    You're in no position to talk!
[18:03] Hino
    But I understand what you're saying.
[18:07] Hino
    Kin-san is a wonderful person,
    but he used to be more...
[18:11] Sa
    What? You've made me curious.
[18:14] Hino
    Then you have to promise
    to keep this a secret.
[18:17] Hino
    He used to be more complex,
    with a peculiar charisma.
[18:22] Tsu
    What's that mean, Hinowa?
[18:24] Hino
    Kind of like...
SIGN    Jump
[18:25] Hino
    A copy of Jump on Thursday that
    everybody's already flipped through.
[18:31] Zura
    Did that really happen?
[18:33] Madao
    No, nothing happened.
    I haven't gotten any screen time.
[18:35] Zura
    At least nothing happened!
[18:41] Zura
    This seems so familiar.
[18:43] Zura
    Didn't we used to laugh like this before?
[18:45] Madao
    No, we barely ever talk.
[18:47] Zura
    But it feels like something's missing.
[18:50] Zura
    I feel like there was
    someone always with us.
[18:53] Madao
    Are you talking about Elizabeth?
[18:54] Zura
    No, when I was out of work,
[18:57] ---
    I killed time by partying
    with that really fun guy.
[19:01] Madao
    Huh? Who are you talking about?
[19:02] Zura
    You know?
[19:03] ---
    We went to an island together.
    Can't remember his name...
[19:06] Madao
    Oh, him!
[19:07] Madao
    I can picture his face, but
    I can't put a name to it!
[19:09] Madao
    It's, uh...
[19:11] Big
    Are you talking about me?
[19:13] Both
    Yes! Big Dadd—
SIGN    Big Daddy
[19:21] Tama
    You're not thinking of doing something
    foolish, are you, Master Gintoki?
[19:25] Gin
    What do you mean?
[19:27] Tama
    Nothing.
[19:28] Gin
    You think I'm going to ditch
    all of this and leave?
[19:32] Gin
    Want me to be honest?
[19:34] Gin
    The hard feelings are gone.
[19:37] Gin
    He did a pretty good job
    after stealing my place.
[19:41] Gin
    He cares about his friends
    and does good work.
[19:43] Gin
    He kept everyone safe while I was gone.
[19:47] Gin
    His past is a lie, but his present is real.
[19:51] Gin
    If that's the ideal leader you wanted,
[19:56] ---
    is it worth taking all of that away
[19:59] Gin
    for me to return?
[20:01] Gin
    I have to wonder.
[20:03] Tama
    Master Gintoki...
[20:06] Gin
    That's why I've made up my mind.
[20:10] Gin
    I want you to promise me something.
[20:12] Gin
    No matter what happens to me,
[20:14] Gin
    even if I fall,
[20:16] Gin
    you won't lay a hand on them.
[20:19] Gin
    In return, I'll also make a promise.
[20:21] Gin
    Even if my friends want my head,
[20:23] Gin
    even if I have no home,
[20:26] Gin
    I will take them back.
[20:28] Gin
    The truth may be harsh,
[20:30] Gin
    but that's the world we've built.
[20:34] Gin
    Tama, don't insult me.
[20:37] Gin
    You stayed on my side through it all.
[20:40] Gin
    You think I'm going to
    run away and let you
[20:43] ---
    live in this strange world alone?
[20:46] Gin
    I'm not going to ditch anyone.
[20:50] Tama
    Master Gintoki...
[20:53] Tama
    Then let's call it a day.
[20:55] Tama
    I need a pillow to charge, so
    I'll be heading back to the bar.
[20:59] Tama
    You'll have to find a place
    to sleep by yourself.
[21:00] Gin
    You're ditching me?!
[21:02] Gin
    Hey! Kintoki knows that
    you're on my side!
[21:05] Gin
    Be careful!
[21:06] Tama
    Master Gintoki, I've realized that
    you will always be yourself.
[21:11] Tama
    Did you think I would be angry
    if you wanted to run away?
[21:17] Tama
    I wouldn't be angry.
[21:19] Tama
    Not if you took me with you.
[21:23] Gin
    Hey, where did you learn that act?
[21:27] Tama
    From the K-drama
    Catherine-sama is watching.
[21:29] Gin
    Okay, I'll add it to my data
    for when I pick up girls.
[21:40] Tama
    I must...
[21:42] Tama
    I must do something,
[21:44] Tama
    or Master Gintoki and
    Shinpachi-sama's crew will
[21:47] ---
    end up fighting each other.
[21:49] Tama
    However, he hasn't given up yet.
[21:51] Tama
    Even though he's alone,
    he shows concern for us.
[21:54] Tama
    I must find a way to restore
    everyone's memory.
[21:57] Tama
    There must be a way.
[21:59] Kin
    Having trouble?
[22:03] Kin
    Want me to lend you a hand?
[22:07] Kin
    Leave it to Odd Jobs Kin-san
[22:10] Kin
    and he'll save the day.
[22:12] [SONG] Caption
    To be continued...
SIGN    Kin-san's Kintama
[23:45] Kin
    Next time on Kintama:
[23:47] Kin
    Kin-san's Kintama.

255 - Kin-san's Kintama

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Tama
    We'll need their help
    to defeat Kintoki.
[00:04] Tama
    You must take back your friends.
[00:05] Tama
    Help them remember the man
    called Sakata Gintoki.
[00:14] Gin
    I knew you'd be there for me.
[00:19] Tama
    You've finally remembered Master Gintoki.
[00:22] Both
    Huh?
[00:23] Shin
    What do you mean?
[00:25] Gin
    Well, yeah...
[00:27] Gin
    I guess.
[00:29] Gin
    Thanks for everything.
[00:31] Gin
    Take care, Odd Jobs.
[00:35] Kin
    Having trouble?
[00:37] Kin
    Want me to lend you a hand?
[00:40] Kin
    Leave it to Odd Jobs Kin-san
[00:43] Kin
    and he'll save the day.
SIGN    Kin-san's Kintama
[02:21] Tama
    No, thank you.
[02:22] Tama
    Otose-sama needed me to run an errand.
[02:25] Kin
    You're pretty slow for a robot.
[02:28] Kin
    Why don't you stop meddling
[02:31] ---
    and go get some maintenance done?
[02:33] Tama
    Master Gintoki would never be
    so forceful with a woman.
[02:37] Kin
    That's why he can't score any girls.
[02:38] Kin
    I've overcome that weakness of his.
[02:41] Kin
    Since you're refusing my advances,
[02:44] Kin
    and now that people
    are starting to talk,
[02:48] Kin
    I won't spare my ace.
[02:49] Kin
    Be a good girl and listen to me.
[02:51] Kin
    You should know.
[02:53] Kin
    It's better for everyone
    when I'm in charge.
[02:59] Tama
    You're just a piece of junk.
[03:02] Tama
    If you can't even say
    "I won't spare my rod"
[03:06] Tama
    so it turns into a dirty joke,
[03:08] Tama
    you'll never be better
    than Master Gintoki.
[03:11] Kin
    I've already used my rod.
[03:17] Kin
    Damn, you're using some old oil.
[03:22] Kin
    That explains why you can't
    understand what I'm saying.
[03:27] Kin
    Don't blame me.
[03:28] Kin
    I have to eliminate all loose cannons.
[03:32] Kin
    I will win the hearts of every
    citizen and unite the team
[03:35] Kin
    so I can lay down my
    roots all over this town.
[03:38] Kin
    That is the mission I've been given.
[03:41] Kin
    Don't worry.
[03:43] Kin
    The dog and Gintoki will
    suffer the same fate.
[03:46] Kin
    I'll erase your existence
    from everyone's memory.
[03:49] Tama
    Master Gintoki can't be erased.
[03:52] Tama
    Your weak points were in
    the instruction manual.
[03:55] Tama
    You will no longer be able
    to brainwash anyone.
[03:58] Tama
    If your mission is to erase
    Master Gintoki and replace him,
[04:03] Tama
    my mission is to live
[04:05] ---
    with Master Gintoki and his
    friends until I perish.
[04:10] Kin
    Really? Too bad then.
[04:14] Kin
    Why don't you ask your Gin-san to
    come now, in your final moments?
[04:17] Tama
    Master Gintoki...
[04:20] Kin
    Your worthless leader can't hear you
[04:24] Kin
    if you whisper in such a puny voice.
[04:28] Tama
    You are just
[04:33] Tama
    a piece of
[04:37] Tama
    junk.
[04:40] Tama
    Master Gintoki is
[04:43] Tama
    far more sadistic.
[04:55] Gin
    H-Hey! Hang in there, Tama!
[04:58] Gin
    Can you... Can you see me?!
[05:00] Gin
    Hold on!
[05:01] Gin
    I'll take you to old Gengai!
[05:04] Gin
    I don't care if he's brainwashed!
[05:06] Gin
    I'll crush his balls to get
    him to wake up and fix you!
[05:08] Gin
    So hang in there!
[05:10] Gin
    Give me some time, Tama!
[05:12] Gin
    Hey, Tama! Say something!
[05:14] Gin
    Hey! You promised!
[05:17] Gin
    You said you would
    always be on my side!
[05:19] Gin
    Machines aren't supposed to lie!
[05:21] Gin
    Every homeless person needs
    a dog and a loud radio!
[05:25] Tama
    I'm sorry. I lied.
[05:29] Tama
    It wasn't from a K-drama...
[05:34] Tama
    It was the smoke shop owner
[05:36] ---
    who dropped by from time to time.
[05:39] Gin
    That doesn't matter!
[05:41] Tama
    Please save my data.
[05:44] Gin
    Yeah, I will!
[05:45] Tama
    When I go to sleep...
[05:46] Gin
    Hold the reset button while
    turning off the power!
[05:49] Tama
    Then I will never forget...
[05:52] Tama
    About you, about everyone...
[05:55] Tama
    About the rent you owe...
[05:57] Gin
    You can forget that part.
[06:00] Tama
    So could you let me have one
    last look at your face?
[06:05] Gin
    Don't say that stuff!
[06:08] Gin
    Tama!
[06:09] Gin
    Wake up!
[06:10] Gin
    Open your eyes!
[06:11] Gin
    Open them!
[06:13] ---
    Got it!
[06:15] Tama
    I got a rare shot of
    Master Gintoki crying.
[06:18] Gin
    What kind of setting is
    that for playing dead?!
[06:21] Tama
    That's a pathetic sight
    to remember you by.
[06:24] Gin
    Y-Yeah...
[06:26] Gin
    So forget you ever saw that.
[06:28] Gin
    The next time we meet,
[06:30] ---
    I'll be smiling like a main character.
[06:33] Tama
    I'm holding you to that.
SIGN    20 yen remaining
[06:43] Shin
    H-Hold on!
[06:45] Shin
    What do you mean, Tama-san
    was taken out?!
[06:47] Shin
    Who did it?!
[06:48] Kin
    Who else could it be?
[06:50] Kin
    Pachi-boy, we're going
    to avenge our friend.
[06:55] A
    Hey there, handsome fella.
[06:58] B
    Yes, I'm a handsome fella.
[07:00] B
    Oh, sorry. I'm out of
    money for the month.
[07:03] A
    No, we have a question for you.
[07:05] A
    Have you seen this man around?
[07:07] B
    No, I haven't.
[07:08] A
    I see.
[07:09] B
    Who is he? Did he skip out
     on a bill at the bar?
[07:11] A
    Let us know if you see him.
[07:14] B
    What's going on?
[07:16] B
    Cabaret girls searching for
    someone instead of working?
[07:18] C
    Oh, haven't you heard?
[07:20] C
    Look over there.
[07:21] B
    They're from the Yagyu family.
[07:23] B
    Why are they here?
[07:25] A
    And over here.
[07:25] B
    The Hyakka, the Yoshiwara guards?!
[07:27] A
    Plus...
SIGN    Kin-chan
[07:28] B
    Hey, now. We've got fugitives
    searching for other fugitives!
[07:32] B
    What's going on?
[07:33] B
    Why are all these people here?
[07:35] C
    That guy hurt one of Kin-san's friends.
[07:37] B
    You mean Odd Jobs Kin-san?
[07:40] Kin
    Tama was taken out.
[07:42] Kin
    And my balls were literally taken out.
[07:44] Kin
    I have to make him pay.
[07:47] Kin
    This isn't a matter of
    honor or reputation.
[07:49] Kin
    I'm willing to use any dirty tricks to
[07:51] ---
    chase him down so I
    can avenge our friend.
[07:56] Kin
    So can you guys lend me a hand?
[08:00] Kin
    I will use all the power I have
    throughout the Kabuki district
[08:04] Kin
    to bring down Sakata Gintoki.
[08:08] B
    It was a dumb move to hurt
    one of Kin-san's friends.
SIGN    If you see this man, please contact
[08:12] B
    He's basically antagonized
    the entire Kabuki district.
SIGN    Doll House
[08:16] Mada
    Well, let me know if
    anything comes up, Gramps.
[08:18] Gen
    How am I supposed to contact a
    person who doesn't have a phone?
[08:22] Mada
    Write XYZ on the bulletin
    board by the station.
[08:24] Gen
    Don't bring City Hunter into this.
[08:26] Mada
    Anyway, be careful.
[08:27] Mada
    He's got a grudge against Kin-san.
[08:30] Mada
    We don't know what he'll
    do to Kin-san's friends.
[08:34] Gen
    Hammer.
[08:36] Gen
    You sure about this?
[08:38] Gen
    That was your chance to split
    the head of one of his allies.
[08:41] Gin
    Oh, I'll split heads.
[08:42] Gin
    If you tell me
[08:44] ---
    that you can't fix my friend.
[08:46] Gin
    What about you?
[08:48] Gin
    You're sheltering an enemy.
[08:50] Gen
    Nobody would break Tama,
    then ask me to repair her.
[08:55] Gen
    Besides, I know that humans
    are easily swayed.
[09:00] Gen
    A machine's soul is harder than steel.
[09:05] Gen
    Tama trusted you, so I
    have to do the same.
[09:10] Gin
    Stupid old man.
[09:11] Gin
    That's why you were
[09:13] ---
    brainwashed by your own piece of junk.
[09:16] Gen
    Coming from a main character who
[09:18] ---
    was usurped by that piece of junk.
[09:20] Gen
    What do you plan on doing?
[09:21] Gen
    That piece of junk has the
    Kabuki district locked down.
[09:25] Gin
    Doesn't matter.
[09:27] Gin
    There's only one thing for me to do.
[09:29] Gen
    You'll be fighting against
    your former friends.
[09:31] Gen
    They're the hardest
    foes you'll ever face.
[09:34] Gen
    That's the point of this trap.
[09:37] Gen
    You don't have a chance.
[09:40] Gin
    That would be the logical conclusion.
[09:42] Gin
    Unfortunately, we beasts and animals
    aren't very good at quantification.
[09:48] Gin
    Sadaharu, we're down to one
    person and one animal.
[09:52] Gin
    Is one plus one two?
[09:55] Gin
    Right.
[09:58] Gin
    We'll never be just two.
[10:02] Gen
    Can't quantify human emotion, eh?
[10:06] Gen
    Reckless, foolhardy, rash.
[10:08] Gen
    That's what you're about to do.
[10:09] Gen
    But it's possible that
    could be his weakness.
[10:15] Gen
    He was created to be perfect, so
    he can't understand an unpredictable
[10:21] Gen
    and unquantifiable fool like
     you, Sakata Gintoki.
[10:25] Gen
    I guess I forgot to give him the most
[10:29] ---
    important quality a leader needs.
[10:32] Gen
    I have to stop him.
[10:34] Gin
    Idiot plus two.
[10:35] ---
    You're on board now, old man.
[10:37] Gen
    Yeah, and I promise to bring
    another idiot with me.
[10:41] Gen
    So Gin-boy, don't let
    yourself become zero.
[10:46] Gen
    You're the only one
    who can stop Kintoki.
[11:01] Tojo
    Find him!
[11:03] Tojo
    We must punish the villain who
    injured our lady's friend!
[11:06] Tojo
    Curses, where is he hiding?!
[11:09] Tojo
    Could it be...?!
SIGN    Costume Play
[11:12] Tojo
    I have no choice!
[11:13] Tojo
    I must search every
    single establishment!
[11:16] Tojo
    The rest of you go that way!
[11:18] Tojo
    I'm going in!
[11:20] Kyu
    Where do you think you're going?
SIGN    The Fast Samurai
[11:21] Tojo
    Lady! Do not stop me!
[11:23] Tojo
    It's time to take off!
[11:24] Tojo
    The flight attendants
    are waiting for me!
[11:26] Kyu
    And you call yourself a warrior?
[11:28] Kyu
    There are others around.
[11:30] Kyu
    Don't embarrass me.
[11:31] Zura
    I have witnessed the
    shame of the Yagyu!
[11:35] Zura
    Kyubei-dono, you're too late!
[11:37] Zura
    We've already checked the
    cosplay establishments!
[11:40] Zura
    I don't have a single leg hair left!
[11:41] Zura
    Attention please!
[11:43] Tojo
    Uh, you're the one who
    should be ashamed!
[11:45] Zura
    A true warrior would send his
    leg hair flying for a friend!
[11:48] Tojo
    Wait, why are you providing service?!
[11:52] Zura
    I'm using myself as bait
    to draw in the enemy!
[11:55] Tojo
    You won't get him!
[11:56] Tojo
    You'd only get a UMA that way!
[11:58] A
    Boss, we found someone!
[12:00] Tojo
    Wh-What?!
[12:02] Tsu
    Well? Interested in
    working in Yoshiwara?
[12:05] Tojo
    He landed someone!
[12:06] Tojo
    He landed someone
    completely unexpected!
[12:08] Tojo
    I'm in no position to criticize,
[12:10] ---
    but why are you people even here?!
[12:11] Tsu
    Sorry, I'm not familiar
    with the customs up here.
[12:14] Mada
    Found ya!
[12:15] Mada
    You little cutie, you!
[12:16] ---
    And then we... pan!
[12:18] Tojo
    What kind of dirty business are
    you trying to pull here?!
[12:22] Tojo
    Cut it out already!
[12:24] Tojo
    I'm supposed to be the one
    acting like an idiot,
[12:26] ---
    but I haven't gotten a chance!
[12:27] Tojo
    Say something, Lady!
[12:30] Kyu
    Sorry, it was my fault.
[12:33] Tojo
    Lady...
[12:35] Tojo
    Pull yourself together!
[12:36] Tojo
    What's wrong with everyone?
[12:39] Otae
    We're hesitating.
[12:41] Tojo
    Otae-dono...
[12:42] Otae
    We're not sure what to do.
[12:45] Otae
    Something feels off about
    Kin-san's request.
[12:49] Otae
    What Kin-san is saying doesn't
    match what we've seen.
[12:54] Otae
    He didn't look like someone
    who would hurt Tama-san.
[12:58] Otae
    Especially after he risked his own life
[13:01] ---
    to save Sarutobi-san,
    a complete stranger.
[13:05] Tojo
    Y-You don't trust Kintoki-dono?
[13:09] Otae
    I trust him.
[13:10] Otae
    But that's why we're confused.
[13:13] Otae
    We don't understand why Kin-san
    would ask us to do this.
[13:18] Otae
    Of course, we're happy
    that he trusts us.
[13:21] Otae
    But Kin-san...
[13:23] Otae
    The Sakata Kintoki I
    know wasn't so open.
[13:29] Otae
    He never said a word
    when there was trouble.
[13:33] Otae
    He would always sneak off by himself.
[13:38] Otae
    It didn't matter how many
    enemies there were.
[13:42] Otae
    He would show up with a smirk
    while picking his nose...
[13:46] Tojo
    U-Up there!
[13:51] Gin
    Yo, what's up?
[13:53] Gin
    Why are you looking at the sky?
[13:54] Gin
    Is there a solar eclipse?
[13:56] A
    How dare you show your face here?!
[13:59] A
    I'll only ask you once!
[14:00] A
    Were you the one who hurt Tama-dono?!
[14:03] Gin
    If that's what your golden god says,
[14:06] ---
    you're free to believe him.
[14:09] Gin
    I'm here to flick a booger at him.
[14:18] B
    Go! Grab him!
[14:23] Gin
    Sadaharu...
[14:24] ---
    You haven't forgotten
    our promise, right?
[14:27] Gin
    Don't look back, no
    matter what happens.
[14:31] Gin
    Just run forward.
[14:32] Gin
    You don't need to worry.
[14:35] Gin
    This is business as usual.
[14:37] Gin
    Let's go back home
[14:40] Gin
    where they are.
[14:46] Zura
    What?!
[14:46] Zura
    He's running straight
    through enemy lines?!
[14:48] B
    After him! Don't let him get away!
[14:50] Zura
    Wait! Don't hurt Sadaharu-kun!
[14:52] Zura
    Furry paws can do no evil!
    Aim for the guy!
[14:55] B
    B-But he's bouncing around
    like he's at the rodeo!
[14:58] B
    It's hard to get a read on him!
[15:00] Gin
    Don't look back, no
    matter what happens.
[15:03] Gin
    Just run forward.
[15:05] Gin
    Let's go back home
[15:07] Gin
    where they are.
[15:17] Tsu
    That was an obvious decoy.
[15:18] Tsu
    Did you really think we
    would fall for that?
[15:22] Gin
    I'm the decoy.
[15:24] Gin
    And as expected, I landed the big fish.
[15:27] Tsu
    Drop your sword.
[15:29] Tsu
    Come with me and—
[15:30] Gin
    Sure.
[15:33] Gin
    I dropped my sword.
[15:34] Gin
    Is it my turn to make a request then?
[15:37] Gin
    Can you move out of the way?
[15:39] Gin
    Once it's all over, you can drag
    me to hell or the bedroom.
[15:42] Tsu
    Wh-What? Do you take me for a fool?
[15:44] A
    Boss!
[15:44] Tsu
    Wait!
[15:46] Sa
    Don't move!
[15:47] Sa
    Don't touch him.
[15:51] Sa
    He's my target.
[15:52] Tsu
    I told you to stay out
    of this, Sarutobi.
[15:56] Sa
    You think I can't kill a
    man who saved my life?
[16:01] Sa
    Laughable.
[16:02] ---
    I won't let you hog all the glory
[16:04] ---
    and win points with Kin-san.
[16:06] Sa
    This job is too big for you.
[16:09] Sa
    I'll take his life after he saved mine.
[16:13] Sa
    That's the kind of dirty
    job I specialize in.
[16:17] Tsu
    Sarutobi...
[16:18] Sa
    Out of my way, Tsu-ki.
[16:20] Sa
    There's no reason for you
    to get your hands dirty.
[16:24] Kyu
    I understand that everyone is unsure.
[16:27] Kyu
    Should we trust Kintoki
[16:28] ---
    or trust what we've seen of this man?
[16:31] Kyu
    However, this job
    requires firm resolve.
[16:34] ---
    You should stand down!
[16:35] Tsu
    What's that?
[16:37] Tsu
    I found him first. I'll do this.
[16:40] Sa
    Get lost. I've got it covered.
[16:42] Kyu
    The two of you can't handle this.
[16:44] Kyu
    Let me take care of it.
[16:45] Tsu
    I can do this!
[16:47] Sa
    I've got this!
[16:48] Kyu
    I'll kill him!
[16:48] Tsu
    I will!
[16:49] Sa
    No, me!
[16:50] Kyu
    I got this!
[16:50] Tsu
    I do!
[16:51] Sa
    No, me!
[16:51] Kyu
    Me!
[16:52] Tsu
    No, me!
[16:52] ---
    Me!
[16:53] ---
    No, me!
[16:53] ---
    Me!
[16:54] Sa
    Blah!
[16:54] Sa
    You've got me all mixed up now!
[16:54] Gin
    Um, you're being very
    considerate of each other,
[16:59] Gin
    but you're not being
    considerate of me at all.
[17:02] Kyu
    Okay, we'll all take turns sticking
    our blades in this barrel.
[17:06] Kyu
    The person who lands the
    final blow gets credit.
[17:08] Gin
    That'd be a lynching!
[17:10] Gin
    Heh, I guess I
    wouldn't mind having
[17:13] ---
    three beauties around when I die.
[17:15] Gin
    But you don't need to feel
    guilty about my death.
[17:19] Gin
    Why don't you all wear blindfolds
    and pretend you're trying to
[17:23] ---
    smash a watermelon
    when you aim for me?
[17:25] Gin
    This way, you won't know who was
    the killer, so there's no guilt.
[17:29] Sa
    Why are you still trying to help us?
[17:33] Gin
    Don't worry about it.
[17:34] Gin
    Well, hold on while I bury myself.
[17:38] Tsu
    Wait!
[17:39] All
    I don't think so!
[17:41] Tsu
    After him!
[17:42] Tsu
    Don't let him get away!
[17:54] Tsu
    Now!
[17:54] Tsu
    Fire!
[17:58] A
    Boss!
[18:06] Gin
    Upsie-daisy.
[18:08] A
    Boss! Boss! Are you okay?
[18:12] Tsu
    W-Wait!
[18:15] Tsu
    What do you think you're doing?
[18:18] Gin
    No idea what you mean.
[18:21] Gin
    See ya.
[18:24] Gin
    Sorry to keep you waiting.
[18:27] Tsu
    Wait!
[18:28] Tsu
    Stop!
[18:30] Tsu
    Are you...
[18:33] C
    Got him!
[18:35] C
    Now, guys!
[18:36] C
    I got him!
[18:38] ---
    Bastards!
SIGN    Looking for a rally partner. Smash hit to your heart.
SIGN    Wanna get sweaty together?
[19:02] Tojo
    Lady!
[19:05] Kyu
    Crap!
[19:11] Tojo
    Lady!
[19:22] Gin
    There's nothing wrong.
[19:24] Gin
    I just see a girl's pretty hand.
[19:45] Sa
    This must be Gin-san's underwear!
[19:48] Sa
    This must be Gin-san's swimsuit!
[19:58] Sa
    Wait a second...
[20:02] Sa
    Didn't you hear me tell you to wait?
[20:11] Sa
    What are you trying to do?
[20:13] Sa
    Who are you fighting?
[20:17] Tsu
    You can barely hold a sword, so why...
[20:20] Kyu
    It almost seems that
    you aren't fighting us,
[20:23] ---
    but protecting us.
[20:24] Gin
    Looks like...
[20:26] Gin
    I underestimated this town.
[20:29] Gin
    We got a whole crowd out in force
    to avenge one person.
[20:34] Gin
    Look at me now.
[20:36] Gin
    But I have to admit that
    I feel pretty good.
[20:40] Gin
    This town is a good place.
[20:51] Sa
    Step away.
[20:53] Sa
    I'm going to kill this man.
[20:56] Tsu
    You should listen to me.
[20:59] Tsu
    I'll do this.
[21:01] Kyu
    Why won't either of you back away?
[21:04] Kyu
    Please... Go away...
[21:08] Sa
    Not when you have that
    look on your face...
[21:12] A
    Lady...
[21:14] B
    Boss...
[21:16] Kin
    What's this?
[21:17] Kin
    Making women cry?
[21:19] Kin
    You're a real piece of work.
[21:21] Kin
    But don't worry.
[21:24] Kin
    I'm here to wipe your ass.
[21:27] Kin
    It's time to settle up.
[21:29] Kin
    Pay attention, guys.
[21:30] Kin
    This is the last moment of
    the Kabuki district's enemy.
[21:36] Kin
    You're finished,
[21:39] Kin
    Gintoki.
[21:42] Tsu
    Don't take another step.
[21:45] Kin
    What's this about?
[21:47] Tsu
    You girls are too stubborn for me.
[21:51] Tsu
    I'm not going to try to stop you.
[21:53] Tsu
    Instead...
[21:54] Sa
    I won't try to stop you either
[21:56] Sa
    since we're thinking the same thing.
[21:59] Kyu
    My memories are a jumble right now,
[22:02] ---
    so I can't know if I should
    trust gold or silver.
[22:06] Kyu
    So instead, I choose to trust...
[22:09] Kyu
    ...the tears of a friend.
[22:13] [SONG] Caption
    To be continued...
SIGN    The Meaning of a Main Character
[23:45] Kin
    Next time, on the last
    episode of Kintama:
[23:47] Kin
    The Meaning of a Main Character.

256 - The Meaning of a Main Character

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    The Meaning of a Main Character
[00:04] Tojo
    Lady?
[00:05] A
    Boss?
[00:06] B
    Sarutobi-dono?
[00:08] Kin
    You're siding with him?
[00:11] Kin
    You're going to betray
    your friends, betray me,
[00:14] Kin
    for a man who attacked your friends?
[00:21] Gin
    What do you think you're doing?
[00:23] Gin
    If you do this...
SIGN    Field Trip Groups
SIGN    Boys
SIGN    Sakata
[00:26] Sa
    Stop it, boys!
[00:28] Sa
    Let Sakata-kun join in!
[00:30] Kyu
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[00:32] Sa
    Teacher, can we let
    Sakata-kun join our group?
[00:36] Gin
    ...I'll feel like that pathetic
    left-out boy who
[00:39] ---
    ends up in a group of girls
    out of sympathy!
[00:43] Kyu
    Kintoki, we trusted you.
[00:46] Kyu
    That's why we're here.
[00:48] Tsu
    So trust us.
[00:50] Tsu
    This man isn't what you think he is.
[00:53] Sa
    The Kin-san I know would back off.
[00:58] All
    If you consider us friends...
[01:04] Kin
    I see.
[01:05] Kin
    I suppose you're representing
    the Yagyu and Hyakka.
[01:11] Kin
    Get out of this town
[01:14] Kin
    with Gintoki.
[01:16] Tojo
    Kintoki-dono?!
[01:17] Kin
    If you're taking that man's side,
[01:20] Kin
    you're an enemy of this town,
[01:21] ---
    an enemy of the Kabuki district!
[01:25] Kyu
    I see.
[01:26] Kyu
    Is that your answer?
[01:39] Zura
    In that case...
[01:39] Both
    We also have our answer.
[01:43] Kin
    What do you think you're doing?
[01:46] Kin
    Women are quick to betray you,
[01:48] Kin
    but men are supposed to have honor.
[01:52] Kin
    Aren't we frien—
[01:53] Zura
    We're friends.
[01:54] Mada
    No doubt about it.
[01:56] Zura
    Kintoki, I once made a
    promise with a friend.
[02:00] Zura
    Never change.
[02:03] Gin
    If you ever change, I'll
    be there to cut you down.
[02:07] Mada
    Kin-san, a buddy of mine
    used to smack me around.
[02:11] Gin
    Fool! Don't blame everything
    on your sunglasses!
[02:15] Mada
    That's who we are.
[02:17] Zura
    When we believe you're
    taking the right path,
[02:21] ---
    we stick with you,
    no matter how hard it is.
[02:24] Mada
    But if you're taking the wrong path,
[02:27] ---
    we'll stop you, even if it turns
    the whole world against us.
[02:32] Zura
    That friend is...
[02:33] Mada
    That man is...
[02:35] Kyu
    That idiot is...
[02:36] Tsu
    That lazy ass is...
[02:38] Sa
    That sadist is...
[02:43] All
    Our friend, Sakata Gintoki.
[02:49] Tojo
    Huh?
[02:50] Tojo
    I-I kind of went with the flow,
    but I can't remember a thing.
[02:53] Gin
    Y-You guys are...
SIGN    Middle School Class Reunion
[02:58] Zura
    Yo, it's been forever.
    You been doing okay?
[03:01] Mada
    You still look like a
    loser. Have a drink.
[03:04] Gin
    ...acting all friendly and mature
    at our class reunion as though
[03:08] ---
    you never shunned me
    when we were kids.
[03:11] ---
    Screw you!
[03:19] Gin
    Bastard!
[03:20] Kin
    Impressive, brother.
[03:22] Kin
    So this is the power of
    a bond forged through
[03:25] ---
    60 volumes of DVDs?
[03:27] Kin
    But it's no use.
[03:29] Kin
    You can try to win them back,
[03:31] Kin
    but I can undo your work
    with a wave of my hand.
[03:34] Kin
    Want to know why?
[03:36] Kin
    It's because the main
    character in this anime...
[03:39] All
    ...is Kin-san.
[03:43] Kin
    You thought I couldn't
    brainwash people anymore.
[03:46] Kin
    Tama threw away her life for nothing.
[03:49] Kin
    Come on, let's protect our town.
[03:53] Kin
    This sideshow continues to defy
[03:56] ---
    the main character and his friends.
[03:59] Kin
    Send him packing!
[04:06] Zura
    Go ahead and try!
[04:09] Zura
    But we hold inside us
[04:12] Zura
    ironclad memories of the
    battles we fought together!
[04:16] Zura
    A silver sword lies inside our souls!
[04:20] Gin
    If you think you can
    break those swords,
[04:24] Gin
    break them!
[04:26] Gin
    My hypnotism isn't working!
[04:30] Kin
    Crush them! Beat them down!
[04:32] Zura
    Go!
[04:33] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[04:36] Gin
    Yeah, I'll let you watch my back!
[04:40] Gin
    While...
[04:41] Both
    I handle being the main character!
[05:06] Kin
    I'll obliterate you.
[05:07] Kin
    Erase your memories, your
    friends, your very being...
[05:13] Gin
    You're the one who's
    getting obliterated.
[05:15] Gin
    Let's see if your memory
    bank is fried first,
[05:19] Gin
    or if my soul burns out first.
[05:23] Gin
    Let's finish this.
[05:26] Kin
    Whether gold or silver wins
    this battle for existence,
[05:29] ---
    you will be the one who disappears.
[05:32] Kin
    I installed a special program
    in myself that will activate
[05:36] ---
    when certain conditions are met.
[05:38] Kin
    This program will cause
    a hypnotic explosion
[05:40] ---
    that will blanket the
    entire Kabuki district
[05:43] Kin
    and reset everyone's memory.
[05:47] Kin
    There are two conditions.
[05:49] Kin
    The first is when my core is broken.
[05:52] Kin
    The second
[05:54] Kin
    is about to happen.
[05:58] Otae
    Shin-chan! Kagura-chan!
[06:00] Otae
    What are you doing here?!
[06:02] Otae
    Come on! Pull yourself together!
[06:05] Shin
    Sis...
[06:07] Shin
    We remembered everything.
[06:11] Shin
    Who Sakata Kintoki really is,
[06:14] Shin
    who Sakata Gintoki really is...
[06:18] Shin
    The person who altered our
    memories just restored them.
[06:22] Shin
    After that, we lost consciousness.
[06:25] Kag
    Boss lady, we did terrible
    things to Gin-chan.
[06:30] Kag
    How do we say we're sorry?
[06:33] Kag
    How can we make up?
[06:38] Otae
    Stand up, you two.
[06:41] Otae
    Let's go back to our leader.
[06:45] Kin
    The second is when the four people
[06:48] ---
    who started this all appear before me.
[06:55] Kin
    Understand?
[06:58] Kin
    If you defeat me or
    recover your friends,
[07:03] Kin
    everything will end.
[07:05] Kin
    That was my true objective.
[07:08] Kin
    You thought I wanted to take
    over this lousy anime?
[07:11] Kin
    Sorry, but I'm not going
[07:12] ---
    to be satisfied with
    your sloppy seconds.
[07:15] Kin
    I take everything from you
[07:17] ---
    and become the worst
    enemy you've ever faced.
[07:21] Kin
    But still, you're able to recover
    your friends singlehandedly
[07:25] ---
    and work together to defeat me.
[07:28] Kin
    Yes, that is what I was hoping
    to see in this final battle.
[07:34] Kin
    I wanted to give this
    show its last episode
[07:37] Kin
    so I could return as the main character
[07:39] ---
    of a show that was neither
    Gintama nor Kintama.
[07:44] Kin
    Sakata Gintoki, this anime returned
[07:49] Kin
    as a tombstone to mark an end
    to your pathetic existence,
[07:54] ---
    to this joke of an anime.
[07:57] Kin
    Well done.
[07:59] Kin
    You and your friends have
[08:02] ---
    made the atmosphere perfect
    for a final episode.
[08:06] Kin
    Don't worry about me.
[08:08] Kin
    I've backed up my data
    and prepared a new body.
[08:12] Kin
    Rest easy.
[08:14] Kin
    The finale will be very soon.
[08:18] Gin
    That's it?
[08:20] Gin
    Is that all you have to say?
[08:26] Gin
    Sorry, you took so long that I
    missed half of what you said.
[08:32] Kin
    Y-You'll pay for ignoring my warning!
[08:35] Kin
    If you kill me...
[08:36] Gin
    You're finished, right?
[08:41] Kin
    B-Bastard...
[08:44] Kin
    You think you can end this yourself?
[08:47] Kin
    Without recovering
    everything you've lost?
[08:55] Gin
    Nothing's going to end.
[09:00] Gin
    Except for
[09:03] Gin
    you and me, brother.
[09:06] Kin
    Seppuku?!
[09:07] Kin
    You'll lose more than your memories!
[09:09] Kin
    You're going to cripple yourself!
[09:11] Gin
    That's just fine.
[09:12] Gin
    Everyone else forgot about me.
[09:15] Gin
    It's my turn to forget.
[09:17] Kin
    Fool!
[09:18] Kin
    Have you forgotten that I've
    made a copy of myself?!
[09:22] Gin
    I have my own copies.
[09:26] Gin
    They don't listen to a word I say,
[09:29] ---
    but they share the same soul.
[09:32] Gin
    Listen up, Kintoki.
[09:34] Gin
    The main character in Gintama
[09:37] Gin
    is every last idiot alive in this show!
[09:46] Kag
    Gin-chan!
[09:50] Gin
    Can I hold him back by myself?!
[09:57] Gin
    Sorry, everyone.
[09:59] Gin
    You finally remembered me,
[10:02] ---
    but I doubt we'll be
    seeing each other again.
[10:04] Gin
    I was hoping to see your
    stupid faces one last ti—
[10:11] Shin
    Sorry, Gin-san. We kept you waiting.
[10:14] Kag
    We won't let you go off
    by yourself, Gin-chan.
[10:17] Kag
    We'll always be together.
[10:20] Otae
    Don't worry.
[10:22] ---
    We won't forget you this time.
[10:24] Otae
    If you forget about me, I'll punch you.
[10:30] Gin
    Fools...
[10:32] Gin
    Now that you're here, this
    anime is really going to end!
[10:36] Gin
    And it just started again!
[10:38] Shin
    That's not true.
[10:40] Shin
    You'll be there.
[10:41] Shin
    We'll all be there
[10:43] Shin
    to save the day.
[10:50] Kag
    So it doesn't matter how
    many times we forget,
[10:53] ---
    how many times we're separated.
[10:55] Kag
    Isn't that right, Gin-chan?
[10:59] Gin
    Yeah...
[11:02] Gin
    I'll find you.
[11:06] Gin
    We'll see each other again.
[11:45] Toki
    A sword isn't meant to be
    sheathed in underwear.
[11:49] Toki
    It belongs in a scabbard.
[11:52] Toki
    I don't think I can be
    your scabbard anymore,
[11:56] Toki
    but I'm sure there's a girl out there
[11:59] ---
    who's worthy of being your scabbard,
[12:01] Toki
    so you must find her
    so you can be happy.
[12:04] Kin
    I don't wanna.
[12:05] Kin
    I want Tokiko-chan.
[12:08] Toki
    Geez, you're so stupid.
[12:12] Toki
    Will you make me a promise then?
[12:15] Toki
    If I'm reincarnated,
    I'll find you again.
[12:20] Toki
    So promise you'll also find me.
[12:24] Kin
    Uh-huh, I promise.
[12:27] Kin
    I'll find my precious scabbard.
SIGN    Mantama
SIGN    aren't cute at all.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    Oedo Expendables
    Matsuo & Kiyo Drugstore
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Gold and silver
SIGN    The new show Mantama
SIGN    begins now.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    
    
    Andromeda Sweets Shop
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Episode 1: A Man's Sword
[13:50] Kin
    Love Country.
SIGN    Be sure to watch Mantama in a well-lit room
    and sit some distance from the TV!
[13:53] Kin
    There was a time, long ago, when our
[13:55] ---
    country was called by that name.
SIGN    20 Years Ago
[13:57] Kin
    Twenty years ago, a mysterious
    building appeared out of nowhere
[14:03] Kin
    and spread a mysterious virus
[14:06] Kin
    that caused every man's
    pride to rot and fall off.
[14:11] Kin
    Where men and women once talked of love,
[14:14] Kin
    we now had trannies and women bitching.
[14:17] Kin
    Where men and women once spoke of love...
[14:20] A
    Fantabulosa!
[14:21] Kin
    ...was all that remained.
[14:23] Kin
    However, there was one last samurai
    with a resistance to the virus,
[14:27] ---
    whose sword of steel remained strong.
[14:30] Kin
    Sakata Kintoki.
[14:32] Kin
    Yes, he was the last hope for mankind.
[14:36] Kin
    The man who had the right to
    claim every woman on the planet,
[14:40] Kin
    but instead continued to search
    for a single scabbard.
[14:42] Kin
    That man was me.
[14:44] A
    Good morning, Sakata-kun!
[14:45] A
    Let's go to school together!
[14:47] B
    I made an extra lunch today.
[14:49] B
    Would you like it?
[14:50] C
    Sakata-kun promised to
    have lunch with me!
[14:54] D
    What are you talking about?
    He promised me, too.
[14:56] Kin
    Sorry, but I don't remember making
[14:58] ---
    any promises to you girls.
[15:00] Kin
    My promise is to someone else.
[15:02] Kin
    A promise that was made
    long before you were born.
[15:06] B
    Huh? What does that mean?
[15:09] Kin
    How much time has passed
[15:11] ---
    since I started looking for you?
[15:14] Kin
    To keep my promise to you,
[15:16] ---
    I changed my sword, my body, into metal,
[15:19] Kin
    so I could remain a man, even
    if I was no longer human.
[15:23] Kin
    Eventually, the human race will
    die and I'll be left alone.
[15:28] Kin
    But my sword will never break.
[15:31] Kin
    Even if you're reincarnated
    as a cockroach,
[15:33] Kin
    you will still be my precious partner.
[15:36] Toki
    Oh no!
[15:37] Toki
    I'm late on my first day
    at my new school!
SIGN    Wham!
[15:42] All
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[15:44] Kin
    Ow...
[15:46] Toki
    Ouch.
[15:48] Toki
    Oops, I screwed up!
[15:53] Kin
    Could it be...
[15:53] Toki
    I'm sorry. Are you hurt?
[15:54] Kin
    Is it truly...
[15:56] Kin
    ...her reincarnation?
[15:59] Toki
    Um, excuse me.
[16:03] Toki
    That's my plastic bottle.
[16:06] Kin
    Sh-Shit!
[16:08] B
    A plastic bottle is stuck on
[16:10] ---
    the only sword left in the entire world!
[16:13] Gor
    What's all this fuss about?
[16:15] C
    Ms. Goriko!
[16:16] C
    It's terrible!
[16:18] C
    Look at Sakata-kun's crotch!
[16:20] Gor
    This is...
[16:21] Gor
    Don't touch it!
[16:22] Gor
    If the main character of
    this anime loses his crotch,
[16:25] ---
    his only unique feature,
[16:27] Gor
    Sakata-kun will no longer be
[16:28] ---
    qualified to be the main character!
[16:29] Kin
    Teach!
[16:30] ---
    Don't make it sound like my
    crotch is all there is to me!
[16:33] Gor
    For now, let's carefully carry
    him to the nurse's office.
[16:36] Gor
    Here we go!
[16:38] A
    Teach! Could you be any less careful?!
[16:41] B
    Look out! There's a
    ball coming your way!
[16:45] E
    Teach! Please go to
    the nurse's office!
[16:48] E
    Thanks, Teach!
[16:49] Kin
    Hold on!
[16:51] Kin
    You've got two balls and
    a bat in your mitt now!
[16:54] ---
    Okay, here I go!
[16:55] Kin
    Wait!
[16:56] Kin
    Those are my balls and bat!
[16:58] E
    Kick off!
[16:59] Kin
    Aren't you playing baseball?!
[17:02] Kin
    She hit the school!
[17:04] Kin
    My sword!
[17:06] F
    What's going on?
[17:08] F
    This came flying into the art room.
[17:11] Kin
    Is it okay?!
[17:12] F
    Yes, there was a broken
    screw in the bottle,
[17:16] ---
    so I repaired it.
[17:17] Kin
    Bon voyage!
[17:20] A
    Sakata-kun's crotch
    has gone bon voyage!
[17:25] Gor
    Okay, let's take attendance!
[17:28] Kin
    It's over...
[17:30] Kin
    I finally found someone who
    appeared to be her reincarnation,
[17:34] Kin
    but my scabbard is a plastic bottle,
[17:36] Kin
    and my sword has set
    sail for a new world.
[17:40] Kin
    I can no longer...
[17:44] Toki
    Excuse me!
[17:45] Gor
    Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[17:47] Gor
    You're late on your first day.
[17:48] Toki
    I-I'm sorry.
[17:54] Toki
    Nice to meet you.
[17:55] Toki
    I'm a new transfer student.
[17:58] Toki
    Sorry about being late.
[18:00] Toki
    I was looking for something.
[18:04] Toki
    It took forever,
[18:05] Toki
    but I was finally able to find it.
[18:10] Toki
    Find you...
[18:14] Toki
    Sorry it took so long.
[18:21] Kin
    Tokiko-chan!
[18:26] Toki
    You don't need to cry.
[18:28] Toki
    Didn't we promise
[18:32] Gin
    that we would meet again?
SIGN    Sakata Gintoki
[18:36] Gin
    Let's start over.
[18:38] Gin
    I'm the new transfer
    student, Sakata Gintoki.
[18:43] Gin
    Hey, what's with the look on your face?
[18:45] Gin
    Did you forget the promise we made?
[18:49] Shin
    Of course not.
[18:51] Shin
    It doesn't matter how
    many times we forget...
[18:53] Kag
    How many times we're separated.
[18:55] Otae
    We'll find you.
[18:59] All
    Right, Gin-san?
[19:02] Gin
    There you go, brother.
[19:05] Gin
    Sorry to ruin your main
    character gig, but Mantama
[19:09] Gin
    was created to be your tombstone.
[19:24] Tama
    Did you enjoy your brief
    experience as a main character?
[19:28] Tama
    Did you enjoy having
    everything important
[19:31] ---
    to you taken away?
[19:33] Tama
    That's what you were doing.
[19:36] Kin
    I see...
[19:37] ---
    So that world was a virtual
    one that you created.
[19:41] Gen
    When I was repairing you,
    I added a few safety measures.
[19:46] Kin
    That's why they still
    have their memories
[19:48] ---
    after being hit by the
    hypnotic explosion?
[19:51] Gen
    Heh, they didn't need my help.
[19:55] Gen
    Kintoki, the bond people share
[19:58] Gen
    goes deeper than the memory.
[20:04] Gin
    Tama, I've settled my score with him.
[20:08] Gin
    He's all yours now.
[20:10] Gin
    Boil him, fry him,
    do whatever you want.
[20:13] Shin
    Please wait, Tama-san!
[20:15] Kag
    Can you spare him?!
[20:18] Shin
    We were the ones who
    asked you to make him!
[20:21] Kag
    He was just trying to take
    Gin-chan's place as our leader!
[20:24] Kag
    He just went too far!
[20:27] Shin
    We'll join him in begging
    everyone for forgiveness!
[20:31] Shin
    Please!
[20:33] Tama
    Did you hear that?
[20:36] Kin
    You people are too soft.
[20:38] Kin
    Gintoki, this is the reality
    of what you've achieved.
[20:42] Kin
    See how your friends are too
    weak to finish off your enemy.
[20:46] Kin
    See how you were too powerless
    to do anything alone.
[20:51] Kin
    Your imperfect character was
[20:53] ---
    destined to fail, even
    without my intervention.
[20:56] Gin
    You're absolutely right.
[20:58] Gin
    I can't do anything alone.
[21:01] Gin
    Everyone here has their
    flaws and imperfections.
[21:04] Gin
    But that's what drives
    us to work together
[21:07] ---
    to make up for those flaws.
[21:10] Gin
    Together, we make the
    perfect main character.
[21:14] Gin
    If you don't believe me,
    you can come back.
[21:17] Gin
    We'll take you on again.
[21:19] Gin
    See ya, imperfect plastic model.
[21:22] Kin
    Wait! Did you say I was imperfect?!
[21:24] Kin
    Take that back!
[21:26] Tama
    No, you are certainly imperfect.
[21:31] Tama
    You were so focused on altering
    other people's memories,
[21:36] Tama
    you didn't realize that other
    people were altering your soul.
[21:41] Tama
    You should treasure the
    life your friends spared.
[21:50] Kin
    Gramps...
[21:52] Kin
    Can you polish me up?
[21:55] Gen
    No idea. I can start by
    making you shiny gold.
[22:00] Gen
    No, shiny gold won't do.
[22:03] Sa
    Gin-san!
SIGN    Gintama
[22:08] All
    Welcome back!
[22:11] Gen
    Let's try making you
SIGN    Gintama Episode 256
[22:14] ---
    shiny silver.
SIGN    We're Back

256 - Gintama Classic - It's Your House, You Build It

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    The Meaning of a Main Character
[00:04] Tojo
    Lady?
[00:05] A
    Boss?
[00:06] B
    Sarutobi-dono?
[00:08] Kin
    You're siding with him?
[00:11] Kin
    You're going to betray
    your friends, betray me,
[00:14] Kin
    for a man who attacked your friends?
[00:21] Gin
    What do you think you're doing?
[00:23] Gin
    If you do this...
SIGN    Field Trip Groups
SIGN    Boys
SIGN    Sakata
[00:26] Sa
    Stop it, boys!
[00:28] Sa
    Let Sakata-kun join in!
[00:30] Kyu
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[00:32] Sa
    Teacher, can we let
    Sakata-kun join our group?
[00:36] Gin
    ...I'll feel like that pathetic
    left-out boy who
[00:39] ---
    ends up in a group of girls
    out of sympathy!
[00:43] Kyu
    Kintoki, we trusted you.
[00:46] Kyu
    That's why we're here.
[00:48] Tsu
    So trust us.
[00:50] Tsu
    This man isn't what you think he is.
[00:53] Sa
    The Kin-san I know would back off.
[00:58] All
    If you consider us friends...
[01:04] Kin
    I see.
[01:05] Kin
    I suppose you're representing
    the Yagyu and Hyakka.
[01:11] Kin
    Get out of this town
[01:14] Kin
    with Gintoki.
[01:16] Tojo
    Kintoki-dono?!
[01:17] Kin
    If you're taking that man's side,
[01:20] Kin
    you're an enemy of this town,
[01:21] ---
    an enemy of the Kabuki district!
[01:25] Kyu
    I see.
[01:26] Kyu
    Is that your answer?
[01:39] Zura
    In that case...
[01:39] Both
    We also have our answer.
[01:43] Kin
    What do you think you're doing?
[01:46] Kin
    Women are quick to betray you,
[01:48] Kin
    but men are supposed to have honor.
[01:52] Kin
    Aren't we frien—
[01:53] Zura
    We're friends.
[01:54] Mada
    No doubt about it.
[01:56] Zura
    Kintoki, I once made a
    promise with a friend.
[02:00] Zura
    Never change.
[02:03] Gin
    If you ever change, I'll
    be there to cut you down.
[02:07] Mada
    Kin-san, a buddy of mine
    used to smack me around.
[02:11] Gin
    Fool! Don't blame everything
    on your sunglasses!
[02:15] Mada
    That's who we are.
[02:17] Zura
    When we believe you're
    taking the right path,
[02:21] ---
    we stick with you,
    no matter how hard it is.
[02:24] Mada
    But if you're taking the wrong path,
[02:27] ---
    we'll stop you, even if it turns
    the whole world against us.
[02:32] Zura
    That friend is...
[02:33] Mada
    That man is...
[02:35] Kyu
    That idiot is...
[02:36] Tsu
    That lazy ass is...
[02:38] Sa
    That sadist is...
[02:43] All
    Our friend, Sakata Gintoki.
[02:49] Tojo
    Huh?
[02:50] Tojo
    I-I kind of went with the flow,
    but I can't remember a thing.
[02:53] Gin
    Y-You guys are...
SIGN    Middle School Class Reunion
[02:58] Zura
    Yo, it's been forever.
    You been doing okay?
[03:01] Mada
    You still look like a
    loser. Have a drink.
[03:04] Gin
    ...acting all friendly and mature
    at our class reunion as though
[03:08] ---
    you never shunned me
    when we were kids.
[03:11] ---
    Screw you!
[03:19] Gin
    Bastard!
[03:20] Kin
    Impressive, brother.
[03:22] Kin
    So this is the power of
    a bond forged through
[03:25] ---
    60 volumes of DVDs?
[03:27] Kin
    But it's no use.
[03:29] Kin
    You can try to win them back,
[03:31] Kin
    but I can undo your work
    with a wave of my hand.
[03:34] Kin
    Want to know why?
[03:36] Kin
    It's because the main
    character in this anime...
[03:39] All
    ...is Kin-san.
[03:43] Kin
    You thought I couldn't
    brainwash people anymore.
[03:46] Kin
    Tama threw away her life for nothing.
[03:49] Kin
    Come on, let's protect our town.
[03:53] Kin
    This sideshow continues to defy
[03:56] ---
    the main character and his friends.
[03:59] Kin
    Send him packing!
[04:06] Zura
    Go ahead and try!
[04:09] Zura
    But we hold inside us
[04:12] Zura
    ironclad memories of the
    battles we fought together!
[04:16] Zura
    A silver sword lies inside our souls!
[04:20] Gin
    If you think you can
    break those swords,
[04:24] Gin
    break them!
[04:26] Gin
    My hypnotism isn't working!
[04:30] Kin
    Crush them! Beat them down!
[04:32] Zura
    Go!
[04:33] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[04:36] Gin
    Yeah, I'll let you watch my back!
[04:40] Gin
    While...
[04:41] Both
    I handle being the main character!
[05:06] Kin
    I'll obliterate you.
[05:07] Kin
    Erase your memories, your
    friends, your very being...
[05:13] Gin
    You're the one who's
    getting obliterated.
[05:15] Gin
    Let's see if your memory
    bank is fried first,
[05:19] Gin
    or if my soul burns out first.
[05:23] Gin
    Let's finish this.
[05:26] Kin
    Whether gold or silver wins
    this battle for existence,
[05:29] ---
    you will be the one who disappears.
[05:32] Kin
    I installed a special program
    in myself that will activate
[05:36] ---
    when certain conditions are met.
[05:38] Kin
    This program will cause
    a hypnotic explosion
[05:40] ---
    that will blanket the
    entire Kabuki district
[05:43] Kin
    and reset everyone's memory.
[05:47] Kin
    There are two conditions.
[05:49] Kin
    The first is when my core is broken.
[05:52] Kin
    The second
[05:54] Kin
    is about to happen.
[05:58] Otae
    Shin-chan! Kagura-chan!
[06:00] Otae
    What are you doing here?!
[06:02] Otae
    Come on! Pull yourself together!
[06:05] Shin
    Sis...
[06:07] Shin
    We remembered everything.
[06:11] Shin
    Who Sakata Kintoki really is,
[06:14] Shin
    who Sakata Gintoki really is...
[06:18] Shin
    The person who altered our
    memories just restored them.
[06:22] Shin
    After that, we lost consciousness.
[06:25] Kag
    Boss lady, we did terrible
    things to Gin-chan.
[06:30] Kag
    How do we say we're sorry?
[06:33] Kag
    How can we make up?
[06:38] Otae
    Stand up, you two.
[06:41] Otae
    Let's go back to our leader.
[06:45] Kin
    The second is when the four people
[06:48] ---
    who started this all appear before me.
[06:55] Kin
    Understand?
[06:58] Kin
    If you defeat me or
    recover your friends,
[07:03] Kin
    everything will end.
[07:05] Kin
    That was my true objective.
[07:08] Kin
    You thought I wanted to take
    over this lousy anime?
[07:11] Kin
    Sorry, but I'm not going
[07:12] ---
    to be satisfied with
    your sloppy seconds.
[07:15] Kin
    I take everything from you
[07:17] ---
    and become the worst
    enemy you've ever faced.
[07:21] Kin
    But still, you're able to recover
    your friends singlehandedly
[07:25] ---
    and work together to defeat me.
[07:28] Kin
    Yes, that is what I was hoping
    to see in this final battle.
[07:34] Kin
    I wanted to give this
    show its last episode
[07:37] Kin
    so I could return as the main character
[07:39] ---
    of a show that was neither
    Gintama nor Kintama.
[07:44] Kin
    Sakata Gintoki, this anime returned
[07:49] Kin
    as a tombstone to mark an end
    to your pathetic existence,
[07:54] ---
    to this joke of an anime.
[07:57] Kin
    Well done.
[07:59] Kin
    You and your friends have
[08:02] ---
    made the atmosphere perfect
    for a final episode.
[08:06] Kin
    Don't worry about me.
[08:08] Kin
    I've backed up my data
    and prepared a new body.
[08:12] Kin
    Rest easy.
[08:14] Kin
    The finale will be very soon.
[08:18] Gin
    That's it?
[08:20] Gin
    Is that all you have to say?
[08:26] Gin
    Sorry, you took so long that I
    missed half of what you said.
[08:32] Kin
    Y-You'll pay for ignoring my warning!
[08:35] Kin
    If you kill me...
[08:36] Gin
    You're finished, right?
[08:41] Kin
    B-Bastard...
[08:44] Kin
    You think you can end this yourself?
[08:47] Kin
    Without recovering
    everything you've lost?
[08:55] Gin
    Nothing's going to end.
[09:00] Gin
    Except for
[09:03] Gin
    you and me, brother.
[09:06] Kin
    Seppuku?!
[09:07] Kin
    You'll lose more than your memories!
[09:09] Kin
    You're going to cripple yourself!
[09:11] Gin
    That's just fine.
[09:12] Gin
    Everyone else forgot about me.
[09:15] Gin
    It's my turn to forget.
[09:17] Kin
    Fool!
[09:18] Kin
    Have you forgotten that I've
    made a copy of myself?!
[09:22] Gin
    I have my own copies.
[09:26] Gin
    They don't listen to a word I say,
[09:29] ---
    but they share the same soul.
[09:32] Gin
    Listen up, Kintoki.
[09:34] Gin
    The main character in Gintama
[09:37] Gin
    is every last idiot alive in this show!
[09:46] Kag
    Gin-chan!
[09:50] Gin
    Can I hold him back by myself?!
[09:57] Gin
    Sorry, everyone.
[09:59] Gin
    You finally remembered me,
[10:02] ---
    but I doubt we'll be
    seeing each other again.
[10:04] Gin
    I was hoping to see your
    stupid faces one last ti—
[10:11] Shin
    Sorry, Gin-san. We kept you waiting.
[10:14] Kag
    We won't let you go off
    by yourself, Gin-chan.
[10:17] Kag
    We'll always be together.
[10:20] Otae
    Don't worry.
[10:22] ---
    We won't forget you this time.
[10:24] Otae
    If you forget about me, I'll punch you.
[10:30] Gin
    Fools...
[10:32] Gin
    Now that you're here, this
    anime is really going to end!
[10:36] Gin
    And it just started again!
[10:38] Shin
    That's not true.
[10:40] Shin
    You'll be there.
[10:41] Shin
    We'll all be there
[10:43] Shin
    to save the day.
[10:50] Kag
    So it doesn't matter how
    many times we forget,
[10:53] ---
    how many times we're separated.
[10:55] Kag
    Isn't that right, Gin-chan?
[10:59] Gin
    Yeah...
[11:02] Gin
    I'll find you.
[11:06] Gin
    We'll see each other again.
[11:45] Toki
    A sword isn't meant to be
    sheathed in underwear.
[11:49] Toki
    It belongs in a scabbard.
[11:52] Toki
    I don't think I can be
    your scabbard anymore,
[11:56] Toki
    but I'm sure there's a girl out there
[11:59] ---
    who's worthy of being your scabbard,
[12:01] Toki
    so you must find her
    so you can be happy.
[12:04] Kin
    I don't wanna.
[12:05] Kin
    I want Tokiko-chan.
[12:08] Toki
    Geez, you're so stupid.
[12:12] Toki
    Will you make me a promise then?
[12:15] Toki
    If I'm reincarnated,
    I'll find you again.
[12:20] Toki
    So promise you'll also find me.
[12:24] Kin
    Uh-huh, I promise.
[12:27] Kin
    I'll find my precious scabbard.
SIGN    Mantama
SIGN    aren't cute at all.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    Oedo Expendables
    Matsuo & Kiyo Drugstore
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Gold and silver
SIGN    The new show Mantama
SIGN    begins now.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    
    
    Andromeda Sweets Shop
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Episode 1: A Man's Sword
[13:50] Kin
    Love Country.
SIGN    Be sure to watch Mantama in a well-lit room
    and sit some distance from the TV!
[13:53] Kin
    There was a time, long ago, when our
[13:55] ---
    country was called by that name.
SIGN    20 Years Ago
[13:57] Kin
    Twenty years ago, a mysterious
    building appeared out of nowhere
[14:03] Kin
    and spread a mysterious virus
[14:06] Kin
    that caused every man's
    pride to rot and fall off.
[14:11] Kin
    Where men and women once talked of love,
[14:14] Kin
    we now had trannies and women bitching.
[14:17] Kin
    Where men and women once spoke of love...
[14:20] A
    Fantabulosa!
[14:21] Kin
    ...was all that remained.
[14:23] Kin
    However, there was one last samurai
    with a resistance to the virus,
[14:27] ---
    whose sword of steel remained strong.
[14:30] Kin
    Sakata Kintoki.
[14:32] Kin
    Yes, he was the last hope for mankind.
[14:36] Kin
    The man who had the right to
    claim every woman on the planet,
[14:40] Kin
    but instead continued to search
    for a single scabbard.
[14:42] Kin
    That man was me.
[14:44] A
    Good morning, Sakata-kun!
[14:45] A
    Let's go to school together!
[14:47] B
    I made an extra lunch today.
[14:49] B
    Would you like it?
[14:50] C
    Sakata-kun promised to
    have lunch with me!
[14:54] D
    What are you talking about?
    He promised me, too.
[14:56] Kin
    Sorry, but I don't remember making
[14:58] ---
    any promises to you girls.
[15:00] Kin
    My promise is to someone else.
[15:02] Kin
    A promise that was made
    long before you were born.
[15:06] B
    Huh? What does that mean?
[15:09] Kin
    How much time has passed
[15:11] ---
    since I started looking for you?
[15:14] Kin
    To keep my promise to you,
[15:16] ---
    I changed my sword, my body, into metal,
[15:19] Kin
    so I could remain a man, even
    if I was no longer human.
[15:23] Kin
    Eventually, the human race will
    die and I'll be left alone.
[15:28] Kin
    But my sword will never break.
[15:31] Kin
    Even if you're reincarnated
    as a cockroach,
[15:33] Kin
    you will still be my precious partner.
[15:36] Toki
    Oh no!
[15:37] Toki
    I'm late on my first day
    at my new school!
SIGN    Wham!
[15:42] All
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[15:44] Kin
    Ow...
[15:46] Toki
    Ouch.
[15:48] Toki
    Oops, I screwed up!
[15:53] Kin
    Could it be...
[15:53] Toki
    I'm sorry. Are you hurt?
[15:54] Kin
    Is it truly...
[15:56] Kin
    ...her reincarnation?
[15:59] Toki
    Um, excuse me.
[16:03] Toki
    That's my plastic bottle.
[16:06] Kin
    Sh-Shit!
[16:08] B
    A plastic bottle is stuck on
[16:10] ---
    the only sword left in the entire world!
[16:13] Gor
    What's all this fuss about?
[16:15] C
    Ms. Goriko!
[16:16] C
    It's terrible!
[16:18] C
    Look at Sakata-kun's crotch!
[16:20] Gor
    This is...
[16:21] Gor
    Don't touch it!
[16:22] Gor
    If the main character of
    this anime loses his crotch,
[16:25] ---
    his only unique feature,
[16:27] Gor
    Sakata-kun will no longer be
[16:28] ---
    qualified to be the main character!
[16:29] Kin
    Teach!
[16:30] ---
    Don't make it sound like my
    crotch is all there is to me!
[16:33] Gor
    For now, let's carefully carry
    him to the nurse's office.
[16:36] Gor
    Here we go!
[16:38] A
    Teach! Could you be any less careful?!
[16:41] B
    Look out! There's a
    ball coming your way!
[16:45] E
    Teach! Please go to
    the nurse's office!
[16:48] E
    Thanks, Teach!
[16:49] Kin
    Hold on!
[16:51] Kin
    You've got two balls and
    a bat in your mitt now!
[16:54] ---
    Okay, here I go!
[16:55] Kin
    Wait!
[16:56] Kin
    Those are my balls and bat!
[16:58] E
    Kick off!
[16:59] Kin
    Aren't you playing baseball?!
[17:02] Kin
    She hit the school!
[17:04] Kin
    My sword!
[17:06] F
    What's going on?
[17:08] F
    This came flying into the art room.
[17:11] Kin
    Is it okay?!
[17:12] F
    Yes, there was a broken
    screw in the bottle,
[17:16] ---
    so I repaired it.
[17:17] Kin
    Bon voyage!
[17:20] A
    Sakata-kun's crotch
    has gone bon voyage!
[17:25] Gor
    Okay, let's take attendance!
[17:28] Kin
    It's over...
[17:30] Kin
    I finally found someone who
    appeared to be her reincarnation,
[17:34] Kin
    but my scabbard is a plastic bottle,
[17:36] Kin
    and my sword has set
    sail for a new world.
[17:40] Kin
    I can no longer...
[17:44] Toki
    Excuse me!
[17:45] Gor
    Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[17:47] Gor
    You're late on your first day.
[17:48] Toki
    I-I'm sorry.
[17:54] Toki
    Nice to meet you.
[17:55] Toki
    I'm a new transfer student.
[17:58] Toki
    Sorry about being late.
[18:00] Toki
    I was looking for something.
[18:04] Toki
    It took forever,
[18:05] Toki
    but I was finally able to find it.
[18:10] Toki
    Find you...
[18:14] Toki
    Sorry it took so long.
[18:21] Kin
    Tokiko-chan!
[18:26] Toki
    You don't need to cry.
[18:28] Toki
    Didn't we promise
[18:32] Gin
    that we would meet again?
SIGN    Sakata Gintoki
[18:36] Gin
    Let's start over.
[18:38] Gin
    I'm the new transfer
    student, Sakata Gintoki.
[18:43] Gin
    Hey, what's with the look on your face?
[18:45] Gin
    Did you forget the promise we made?
[18:49] Shin
    Of course not.
[18:51] Shin
    It doesn't matter how
    many times we forget...
[18:53] Kag
    How many times we're separated.
[18:55] Otae
    We'll find you.
[18:59] All
    Right, Gin-san?
[19:02] Gin
    There you go, brother.
[19:05] Gin
    Sorry to ruin your main
    character gig, but Mantama
[19:09] Gin
    was created to be your tombstone.
[19:24] Tama
    Did you enjoy your brief
    experience as a main character?
[19:28] Tama
    Did you enjoy having
    everything important
[19:31] ---
    to you taken away?
[19:33] Tama
    That's what you were doing.
[19:36] Kin
    I see...
[19:37] ---
    So that world was a virtual
    one that you created.
[19:41] Gen
    When I was repairing you,
    I added a few safety measures.
[19:46] Kin
    That's why they still
    have their memories
[19:48] ---
    after being hit by the
    hypnotic explosion?
[19:51] Gen
    Heh, they didn't need my help.
[19:55] Gen
    Kintoki, the bond people share
[19:58] Gen
    goes deeper than the memory.
[20:04] Gin
    Tama, I've settled my score with him.
[20:08] Gin
    He's all yours now.
[20:10] Gin
    Boil him, fry him,
    do whatever you want.
[20:13] Shin
    Please wait, Tama-san!
[20:15] Kag
    Can you spare him?!
[20:18] Shin
    We were the ones who
    asked you to make him!
[20:21] Kag
    He was just trying to take
    Gin-chan's place as our leader!
[20:24] Kag
    He just went too far!
[20:27] Shin
    We'll join him in begging
    everyone for forgiveness!
[20:31] Shin
    Please!
[20:33] Tama
    Did you hear that?
[20:36] Kin
    You people are too soft.
[20:38] Kin
    Gintoki, this is the reality
    of what you've achieved.
[20:42] Kin
    See how your friends are too
    weak to finish off your enemy.
[20:46] Kin
    See how you were too powerless
    to do anything alone.
[20:51] Kin
    Your imperfect character was
[20:53] ---
    destined to fail, even
    without my intervention.
[20:56] Gin
    You're absolutely right.
[20:58] Gin
    I can't do anything alone.
[21:01] Gin
    Everyone here has their
    flaws and imperfections.
[21:04] Gin
    But that's what drives
    us to work together
[21:07] ---
    to make up for those flaws.
[21:10] Gin
    Together, we make the
    perfect main character.
[21:14] Gin
    If you don't believe me,
    you can come back.
[21:17] Gin
    We'll take you on again.
[21:19] Gin
    See ya, imperfect plastic model.
[21:22] Kin
    Wait! Did you say I was imperfect?!
[21:24] Kin
    Take that back!
[21:26] Tama
    No, you are certainly imperfect.
[21:31] Tama
    You were so focused on altering
    other people's memories,
[21:36] Tama
    you didn't realize that other
    people were altering your soul.
[21:41] Tama
    You should treasure the
    life your friends spared.
[21:50] Kin
    Gramps...
[21:52] Kin
    Can you polish me up?
[21:55] Gen
    No idea. I can start by
    making you shiny gold.
[22:00] Gen
    No, shiny gold won't do.
[22:03] Sa
    Gin-san!
SIGN    Gintama
[22:08] All
    Welcome back!
[22:11] Gen
    Let's try making you
SIGN    Gintama Episode 256
[22:14] ---
    shiny silver.
SIGN    We're Back

256 - Gintama Classic - Within Each Box of Cigarettes, Are One or Two Cigarettes That Smell Like Horse Dung

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    The Meaning of a Main Character
[00:04] Tojo
    Lady?
[00:05] A
    Boss?
[00:06] B
    Sarutobi-dono?
[00:08] Kin
    You're siding with him?
[00:11] Kin
    You're going to betray
    your friends, betray me,
[00:14] Kin
    for a man who attacked your friends?
[00:21] Gin
    What do you think you're doing?
[00:23] Gin
    If you do this...
SIGN    Field Trip Groups
SIGN    Boys
SIGN    Sakata
[00:26] Sa
    Stop it, boys!
[00:28] Sa
    Let Sakata-kun join in!
[00:30] Kyu
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[00:32] Sa
    Teacher, can we let
    Sakata-kun join our group?
[00:36] Gin
    ...I'll feel like that pathetic
    left-out boy who
[00:39] ---
    ends up in a group of girls
    out of sympathy!
[00:43] Kyu
    Kintoki, we trusted you.
[00:46] Kyu
    That's why we're here.
[00:48] Tsu
    So trust us.
[00:50] Tsu
    This man isn't what you think he is.
[00:53] Sa
    The Kin-san I know would back off.
[00:58] All
    If you consider us friends...
[01:04] Kin
    I see.
[01:05] Kin
    I suppose you're representing
    the Yagyu and Hyakka.
[01:11] Kin
    Get out of this town
[01:14] Kin
    with Gintoki.
[01:16] Tojo
    Kintoki-dono?!
[01:17] Kin
    If you're taking that man's side,
[01:20] Kin
    you're an enemy of this town,
[01:21] ---
    an enemy of the Kabuki district!
[01:25] Kyu
    I see.
[01:26] Kyu
    Is that your answer?
[01:39] Zura
    In that case...
[01:39] Both
    We also have our answer.
[01:43] Kin
    What do you think you're doing?
[01:46] Kin
    Women are quick to betray you,
[01:48] Kin
    but men are supposed to have honor.
[01:52] Kin
    Aren't we frien—
[01:53] Zura
    We're friends.
[01:54] Mada
    No doubt about it.
[01:56] Zura
    Kintoki, I once made a
    promise with a friend.
[02:00] Zura
    Never change.
[02:03] Gin
    If you ever change, I'll
    be there to cut you down.
[02:07] Mada
    Kin-san, a buddy of mine
    used to smack me around.
[02:11] Gin
    Fool! Don't blame everything
    on your sunglasses!
[02:15] Mada
    That's who we are.
[02:17] Zura
    When we believe you're
    taking the right path,
[02:21] ---
    we stick with you,
    no matter how hard it is.
[02:24] Mada
    But if you're taking the wrong path,
[02:27] ---
    we'll stop you, even if it turns
    the whole world against us.
[02:32] Zura
    That friend is...
[02:33] Mada
    That man is...
[02:35] Kyu
    That idiot is...
[02:36] Tsu
    That lazy ass is...
[02:38] Sa
    That sadist is...
[02:43] All
    Our friend, Sakata Gintoki.
[02:49] Tojo
    Huh?
[02:50] Tojo
    I-I kind of went with the flow,
    but I can't remember a thing.
[02:53] Gin
    Y-You guys are...
SIGN    Middle School Class Reunion
[02:58] Zura
    Yo, it's been forever.
    You been doing okay?
[03:01] Mada
    You still look like a
    loser. Have a drink.
[03:04] Gin
    ...acting all friendly and mature
    at our class reunion as though
[03:08] ---
    you never shunned me
    when we were kids.
[03:11] ---
    Screw you!
[03:19] Gin
    Bastard!
[03:20] Kin
    Impressive, brother.
[03:22] Kin
    So this is the power of
    a bond forged through
[03:25] ---
    60 volumes of DVDs?
[03:27] Kin
    But it's no use.
[03:29] Kin
    You can try to win them back,
[03:31] Kin
    but I can undo your work
    with a wave of my hand.
[03:34] Kin
    Want to know why?
[03:36] Kin
    It's because the main
    character in this anime...
[03:39] All
    ...is Kin-san.
[03:43] Kin
    You thought I couldn't
    brainwash people anymore.
[03:46] Kin
    Tama threw away her life for nothing.
[03:49] Kin
    Come on, let's protect our town.
[03:53] Kin
    This sideshow continues to defy
[03:56] ---
    the main character and his friends.
[03:59] Kin
    Send him packing!
[04:06] Zura
    Go ahead and try!
[04:09] Zura
    But we hold inside us
[04:12] Zura
    ironclad memories of the
    battles we fought together!
[04:16] Zura
    A silver sword lies inside our souls!
[04:20] Gin
    If you think you can
    break those swords,
[04:24] Gin
    break them!
[04:26] Gin
    My hypnotism isn't working!
[04:30] Kin
    Crush them! Beat them down!
[04:32] Zura
    Go!
[04:33] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[04:36] Gin
    Yeah, I'll let you watch my back!
[04:40] Gin
    While...
[04:41] Both
    I handle being the main character!
[05:06] Kin
    I'll obliterate you.
[05:07] Kin
    Erase your memories, your
    friends, your very being...
[05:13] Gin
    You're the one who's
    getting obliterated.
[05:15] Gin
    Let's see if your memory
    bank is fried first,
[05:19] Gin
    or if my soul burns out first.
[05:23] Gin
    Let's finish this.
[05:26] Kin
    Whether gold or silver wins
    this battle for existence,
[05:29] ---
    you will be the one who disappears.
[05:32] Kin
    I installed a special program
    in myself that will activate
[05:36] ---
    when certain conditions are met.
[05:38] Kin
    This program will cause
    a hypnotic explosion
[05:40] ---
    that will blanket the
    entire Kabuki district
[05:43] Kin
    and reset everyone's memory.
[05:47] Kin
    There are two conditions.
[05:49] Kin
    The first is when my core is broken.
[05:52] Kin
    The second
[05:54] Kin
    is about to happen.
[05:58] Otae
    Shin-chan! Kagura-chan!
[06:00] Otae
    What are you doing here?!
[06:02] Otae
    Come on! Pull yourself together!
[06:05] Shin
    Sis...
[06:07] Shin
    We remembered everything.
[06:11] Shin
    Who Sakata Kintoki really is,
[06:14] Shin
    who Sakata Gintoki really is...
[06:18] Shin
    The person who altered our
    memories just restored them.
[06:22] Shin
    After that, we lost consciousness.
[06:25] Kag
    Boss lady, we did terrible
    things to Gin-chan.
[06:30] Kag
    How do we say we're sorry?
[06:33] Kag
    How can we make up?
[06:38] Otae
    Stand up, you two.
[06:41] Otae
    Let's go back to our leader.
[06:45] Kin
    The second is when the four people
[06:48] ---
    who started this all appear before me.
[06:55] Kin
    Understand?
[06:58] Kin
    If you defeat me or
    recover your friends,
[07:03] Kin
    everything will end.
[07:05] Kin
    That was my true objective.
[07:08] Kin
    You thought I wanted to take
    over this lousy anime?
[07:11] Kin
    Sorry, but I'm not going
[07:12] ---
    to be satisfied with
    your sloppy seconds.
[07:15] Kin
    I take everything from you
[07:17] ---
    and become the worst
    enemy you've ever faced.
[07:21] Kin
    But still, you're able to recover
    your friends singlehandedly
[07:25] ---
    and work together to defeat me.
[07:28] Kin
    Yes, that is what I was hoping
    to see in this final battle.
[07:34] Kin
    I wanted to give this
    show its last episode
[07:37] Kin
    so I could return as the main character
[07:39] ---
    of a show that was neither
    Gintama nor Kintama.
[07:44] Kin
    Sakata Gintoki, this anime returned
[07:49] Kin
    as a tombstone to mark an end
    to your pathetic existence,
[07:54] ---
    to this joke of an anime.
[07:57] Kin
    Well done.
[07:59] Kin
    You and your friends have
[08:02] ---
    made the atmosphere perfect
    for a final episode.
[08:06] Kin
    Don't worry about me.
[08:08] Kin
    I've backed up my data
    and prepared a new body.
[08:12] Kin
    Rest easy.
[08:14] Kin
    The finale will be very soon.
[08:18] Gin
    That's it?
[08:20] Gin
    Is that all you have to say?
[08:26] Gin
    Sorry, you took so long that I
    missed half of what you said.
[08:32] Kin
    Y-You'll pay for ignoring my warning!
[08:35] Kin
    If you kill me...
[08:36] Gin
    You're finished, right?
[08:41] Kin
    B-Bastard...
[08:44] Kin
    You think you can end this yourself?
[08:47] Kin
    Without recovering
    everything you've lost?
[08:55] Gin
    Nothing's going to end.
[09:00] Gin
    Except for
[09:03] Gin
    you and me, brother.
[09:06] Kin
    Seppuku?!
[09:07] Kin
    You'll lose more than your memories!
[09:09] Kin
    You're going to cripple yourself!
[09:11] Gin
    That's just fine.
[09:12] Gin
    Everyone else forgot about me.
[09:15] Gin
    It's my turn to forget.
[09:17] Kin
    Fool!
[09:18] Kin
    Have you forgotten that I've
    made a copy of myself?!
[09:22] Gin
    I have my own copies.
[09:26] Gin
    They don't listen to a word I say,
[09:29] ---
    but they share the same soul.
[09:32] Gin
    Listen up, Kintoki.
[09:34] Gin
    The main character in Gintama
[09:37] Gin
    is every last idiot alive in this show!
[09:46] Kag
    Gin-chan!
[09:50] Gin
    Can I hold him back by myself?!
[09:57] Gin
    Sorry, everyone.
[09:59] Gin
    You finally remembered me,
[10:02] ---
    but I doubt we'll be
    seeing each other again.
[10:04] Gin
    I was hoping to see your
    stupid faces one last ti—
[10:11] Shin
    Sorry, Gin-san. We kept you waiting.
[10:14] Kag
    We won't let you go off
    by yourself, Gin-chan.
[10:17] Kag
    We'll always be together.
[10:20] Otae
    Don't worry.
[10:22] ---
    We won't forget you this time.
[10:24] Otae
    If you forget about me, I'll punch you.
[10:30] Gin
    Fools...
[10:32] Gin
    Now that you're here, this
    anime is really going to end!
[10:36] Gin
    And it just started again!
[10:38] Shin
    That's not true.
[10:40] Shin
    You'll be there.
[10:41] Shin
    We'll all be there
[10:43] Shin
    to save the day.
[10:50] Kag
    So it doesn't matter how
    many times we forget,
[10:53] ---
    how many times we're separated.
[10:55] Kag
    Isn't that right, Gin-chan?
[10:59] Gin
    Yeah...
[11:02] Gin
    I'll find you.
[11:06] Gin
    We'll see each other again.
[11:45] Toki
    A sword isn't meant to be
    sheathed in underwear.
[11:49] Toki
    It belongs in a scabbard.
[11:52] Toki
    I don't think I can be
    your scabbard anymore,
[11:56] Toki
    but I'm sure there's a girl out there
[11:59] ---
    who's worthy of being your scabbard,
[12:01] Toki
    so you must find her
    so you can be happy.
[12:04] Kin
    I don't wanna.
[12:05] Kin
    I want Tokiko-chan.
[12:08] Toki
    Geez, you're so stupid.
[12:12] Toki
    Will you make me a promise then?
[12:15] Toki
    If I'm reincarnated,
    I'll find you again.
[12:20] Toki
    So promise you'll also find me.
[12:24] Kin
    Uh-huh, I promise.
[12:27] Kin
    I'll find my precious scabbard.
SIGN    Mantama
SIGN    aren't cute at all.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    Oedo Expendables
    Matsuo & Kiyo Drugstore
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Gold and silver
SIGN    The new show Mantama
SIGN    begins now.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    
    
    Andromeda Sweets Shop
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Episode 1: A Man's Sword
[13:50] Kin
    Love Country.
SIGN    Be sure to watch Mantama in a well-lit room
    and sit some distance from the TV!
[13:53] Kin
    There was a time, long ago, when our
[13:55] ---
    country was called by that name.
SIGN    20 Years Ago
[13:57] Kin
    Twenty years ago, a mysterious
    building appeared out of nowhere
[14:03] Kin
    and spread a mysterious virus
[14:06] Kin
    that caused every man's
    pride to rot and fall off.
[14:11] Kin
    Where men and women once talked of love,
[14:14] Kin
    we now had trannies and women bitching.
[14:17] Kin
    Where men and women once spoke of love...
[14:20] A
    Fantabulosa!
[14:21] Kin
    ...was all that remained.
[14:23] Kin
    However, there was one last samurai
    with a resistance to the virus,
[14:27] ---
    whose sword of steel remained strong.
[14:30] Kin
    Sakata Kintoki.
[14:32] Kin
    Yes, he was the last hope for mankind.
[14:36] Kin
    The man who had the right to
    claim every woman on the planet,
[14:40] Kin
    but instead continued to search
    for a single scabbard.
[14:42] Kin
    That man was me.
[14:44] A
    Good morning, Sakata-kun!
[14:45] A
    Let's go to school together!
[14:47] B
    I made an extra lunch today.
[14:49] B
    Would you like it?
[14:50] C
    Sakata-kun promised to
    have lunch with me!
[14:54] D
    What are you talking about?
    He promised me, too.
[14:56] Kin
    Sorry, but I don't remember making
[14:58] ---
    any promises to you girls.
[15:00] Kin
    My promise is to someone else.
[15:02] Kin
    A promise that was made
    long before you were born.
[15:06] B
    Huh? What does that mean?
[15:09] Kin
    How much time has passed
[15:11] ---
    since I started looking for you?
[15:14] Kin
    To keep my promise to you,
[15:16] ---
    I changed my sword, my body, into metal,
[15:19] Kin
    so I could remain a man, even
    if I was no longer human.
[15:23] Kin
    Eventually, the human race will
    die and I'll be left alone.
[15:28] Kin
    But my sword will never break.
[15:31] Kin
    Even if you're reincarnated
    as a cockroach,
[15:33] Kin
    you will still be my precious partner.
[15:36] Toki
    Oh no!
[15:37] Toki
    I'm late on my first day
    at my new school!
SIGN    Wham!
[15:42] All
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[15:44] Kin
    Ow...
[15:46] Toki
    Ouch.
[15:48] Toki
    Oops, I screwed up!
[15:53] Kin
    Could it be...
[15:53] Toki
    I'm sorry. Are you hurt?
[15:54] Kin
    Is it truly...
[15:56] Kin
    ...her reincarnation?
[15:59] Toki
    Um, excuse me.
[16:03] Toki
    That's my plastic bottle.
[16:06] Kin
    Sh-Shit!
[16:08] B
    A plastic bottle is stuck on
[16:10] ---
    the only sword left in the entire world!
[16:13] Gor
    What's all this fuss about?
[16:15] C
    Ms. Goriko!
[16:16] C
    It's terrible!
[16:18] C
    Look at Sakata-kun's crotch!
[16:20] Gor
    This is...
[16:21] Gor
    Don't touch it!
[16:22] Gor
    If the main character of
    this anime loses his crotch,
[16:25] ---
    his only unique feature,
[16:27] Gor
    Sakata-kun will no longer be
[16:28] ---
    qualified to be the main character!
[16:29] Kin
    Teach!
[16:30] ---
    Don't make it sound like my
    crotch is all there is to me!
[16:33] Gor
    For now, let's carefully carry
    him to the nurse's office.
[16:36] Gor
    Here we go!
[16:38] A
    Teach! Could you be any less careful?!
[16:41] B
    Look out! There's a
    ball coming your way!
[16:45] E
    Teach! Please go to
    the nurse's office!
[16:48] E
    Thanks, Teach!
[16:49] Kin
    Hold on!
[16:51] Kin
    You've got two balls and
    a bat in your mitt now!
[16:54] ---
    Okay, here I go!
[16:55] Kin
    Wait!
[16:56] Kin
    Those are my balls and bat!
[16:58] E
    Kick off!
[16:59] Kin
    Aren't you playing baseball?!
[17:02] Kin
    She hit the school!
[17:04] Kin
    My sword!
[17:06] F
    What's going on?
[17:08] F
    This came flying into the art room.
[17:11] Kin
    Is it okay?!
[17:12] F
    Yes, there was a broken
    screw in the bottle,
[17:16] ---
    so I repaired it.
[17:17] Kin
    Bon voyage!
[17:20] A
    Sakata-kun's crotch
    has gone bon voyage!
[17:25] Gor
    Okay, let's take attendance!
[17:28] Kin
    It's over...
[17:30] Kin
    I finally found someone who
    appeared to be her reincarnation,
[17:34] Kin
    but my scabbard is a plastic bottle,
[17:36] Kin
    and my sword has set
    sail for a new world.
[17:40] Kin
    I can no longer...
[17:44] Toki
    Excuse me!
[17:45] Gor
    Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[17:47] Gor
    You're late on your first day.
[17:48] Toki
    I-I'm sorry.
[17:54] Toki
    Nice to meet you.
[17:55] Toki
    I'm a new transfer student.
[17:58] Toki
    Sorry about being late.
[18:00] Toki
    I was looking for something.
[18:04] Toki
    It took forever,
[18:05] Toki
    but I was finally able to find it.
[18:10] Toki
    Find you...
[18:14] Toki
    Sorry it took so long.
[18:21] Kin
    Tokiko-chan!
[18:26] Toki
    You don't need to cry.
[18:28] Toki
    Didn't we promise
[18:32] Gin
    that we would meet again?
SIGN    Sakata Gintoki
[18:36] Gin
    Let's start over.
[18:38] Gin
    I'm the new transfer
    student, Sakata Gintoki.
[18:43] Gin
    Hey, what's with the look on your face?
[18:45] Gin
    Did you forget the promise we made?
[18:49] Shin
    Of course not.
[18:51] Shin
    It doesn't matter how
    many times we forget...
[18:53] Kag
    How many times we're separated.
[18:55] Otae
    We'll find you.
[18:59] All
    Right, Gin-san?
[19:02] Gin
    There you go, brother.
[19:05] Gin
    Sorry to ruin your main
    character gig, but Mantama
[19:09] Gin
    was created to be your tombstone.
[19:24] Tama
    Did you enjoy your brief
    experience as a main character?
[19:28] Tama
    Did you enjoy having
    everything important
[19:31] ---
    to you taken away?
[19:33] Tama
    That's what you were doing.
[19:36] Kin
    I see...
[19:37] ---
    So that world was a virtual
    one that you created.
[19:41] Gen
    When I was repairing you,
    I added a few safety measures.
[19:46] Kin
    That's why they still
    have their memories
[19:48] ---
    after being hit by the
    hypnotic explosion?
[19:51] Gen
    Heh, they didn't need my help.
[19:55] Gen
    Kintoki, the bond people share
[19:58] Gen
    goes deeper than the memory.
[20:04] Gin
    Tama, I've settled my score with him.
[20:08] Gin
    He's all yours now.
[20:10] Gin
    Boil him, fry him,
    do whatever you want.
[20:13] Shin
    Please wait, Tama-san!
[20:15] Kag
    Can you spare him?!
[20:18] Shin
    We were the ones who
    asked you to make him!
[20:21] Kag
    He was just trying to take
    Gin-chan's place as our leader!
[20:24] Kag
    He just went too far!
[20:27] Shin
    We'll join him in begging
    everyone for forgiveness!
[20:31] Shin
    Please!
[20:33] Tama
    Did you hear that?
[20:36] Kin
    You people are too soft.
[20:38] Kin
    Gintoki, this is the reality
    of what you've achieved.
[20:42] Kin
    See how your friends are too
    weak to finish off your enemy.
[20:46] Kin
    See how you were too powerless
    to do anything alone.
[20:51] Kin
    Your imperfect character was
[20:53] ---
    destined to fail, even
    without my intervention.
[20:56] Gin
    You're absolutely right.
[20:58] Gin
    I can't do anything alone.
[21:01] Gin
    Everyone here has their
    flaws and imperfections.
[21:04] Gin
    But that's what drives
    us to work together
[21:07] ---
    to make up for those flaws.
[21:10] Gin
    Together, we make the
    perfect main character.
[21:14] Gin
    If you don't believe me,
    you can come back.
[21:17] Gin
    We'll take you on again.
[21:19] Gin
    See ya, imperfect plastic model.
[21:22] Kin
    Wait! Did you say I was imperfect?!
[21:24] Kin
    Take that back!
[21:26] Tama
    No, you are certainly imperfect.
[21:31] Tama
    You were so focused on altering
    other people's memories,
[21:36] Tama
    you didn't realize that other
    people were altering your soul.
[21:41] Tama
    You should treasure the
    life your friends spared.
[21:50] Kin
    Gramps...
[21:52] Kin
    Can you polish me up?
[21:55] Gen
    No idea. I can start by
    making you shiny gold.
[22:00] Gen
    No, shiny gold won't do.
[22:03] Sa
    Gin-san!
SIGN    Gintama
[22:08] All
    Welcome back!
[22:11] Gen
    Let's try making you
SIGN    Gintama Episode 256
[22:14] ---
    shiny silver.
SIGN    We're Back

256 - Gintama Classic - Life is a Test

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    The Meaning of a Main Character
[00:04] Tojo
    Lady?
[00:05] A
    Boss?
[00:06] B
    Sarutobi-dono?
[00:08] Kin
    You're siding with him?
[00:11] Kin
    You're going to betray
    your friends, betray me,
[00:14] Kin
    for a man who attacked your friends?
[00:21] Gin
    What do you think you're doing?
[00:23] Gin
    If you do this...
SIGN    Field Trip Groups
SIGN    Boys
SIGN    Sakata
[00:26] Sa
    Stop it, boys!
[00:28] Sa
    Let Sakata-kun join in!
[00:30] Kyu
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[00:32] Sa
    Teacher, can we let
    Sakata-kun join our group?
[00:36] Gin
    ...I'll feel like that pathetic
    left-out boy who
[00:39] ---
    ends up in a group of girls
    out of sympathy!
[00:43] Kyu
    Kintoki, we trusted you.
[00:46] Kyu
    That's why we're here.
[00:48] Tsu
    So trust us.
[00:50] Tsu
    This man isn't what you think he is.
[00:53] Sa
    The Kin-san I know would back off.
[00:58] All
    If you consider us friends...
[01:04] Kin
    I see.
[01:05] Kin
    I suppose you're representing
    the Yagyu and Hyakka.
[01:11] Kin
    Get out of this town
[01:14] Kin
    with Gintoki.
[01:16] Tojo
    Kintoki-dono?!
[01:17] Kin
    If you're taking that man's side,
[01:20] Kin
    you're an enemy of this town,
[01:21] ---
    an enemy of the Kabuki district!
[01:25] Kyu
    I see.
[01:26] Kyu
    Is that your answer?
[01:39] Zura
    In that case...
[01:39] Both
    We also have our answer.
[01:43] Kin
    What do you think you're doing?
[01:46] Kin
    Women are quick to betray you,
[01:48] Kin
    but men are supposed to have honor.
[01:52] Kin
    Aren't we frien—
[01:53] Zura
    We're friends.
[01:54] Mada
    No doubt about it.
[01:56] Zura
    Kintoki, I once made a
    promise with a friend.
[02:00] Zura
    Never change.
[02:03] Gin
    If you ever change, I'll
    be there to cut you down.
[02:07] Mada
    Kin-san, a buddy of mine
    used to smack me around.
[02:11] Gin
    Fool! Don't blame everything
    on your sunglasses!
[02:15] Mada
    That's who we are.
[02:17] Zura
    When we believe you're
    taking the right path,
[02:21] ---
    we stick with you,
    no matter how hard it is.
[02:24] Mada
    But if you're taking the wrong path,
[02:27] ---
    we'll stop you, even if it turns
    the whole world against us.
[02:32] Zura
    That friend is...
[02:33] Mada
    That man is...
[02:35] Kyu
    That idiot is...
[02:36] Tsu
    That lazy ass is...
[02:38] Sa
    That sadist is...
[02:43] All
    Our friend, Sakata Gintoki.
[02:49] Tojo
    Huh?
[02:50] Tojo
    I-I kind of went with the flow,
    but I can't remember a thing.
[02:53] Gin
    Y-You guys are...
SIGN    Middle School Class Reunion
[02:58] Zura
    Yo, it's been forever.
    You been doing okay?
[03:01] Mada
    You still look like a
    loser. Have a drink.
[03:04] Gin
    ...acting all friendly and mature
    at our class reunion as though
[03:08] ---
    you never shunned me
    when we were kids.
[03:11] ---
    Screw you!
[03:19] Gin
    Bastard!
[03:20] Kin
    Impressive, brother.
[03:22] Kin
    So this is the power of
    a bond forged through
[03:25] ---
    60 volumes of DVDs?
[03:27] Kin
    But it's no use.
[03:29] Kin
    You can try to win them back,
[03:31] Kin
    but I can undo your work
    with a wave of my hand.
[03:34] Kin
    Want to know why?
[03:36] Kin
    It's because the main
    character in this anime...
[03:39] All
    ...is Kin-san.
[03:43] Kin
    You thought I couldn't
    brainwash people anymore.
[03:46] Kin
    Tama threw away her life for nothing.
[03:49] Kin
    Come on, let's protect our town.
[03:53] Kin
    This sideshow continues to defy
[03:56] ---
    the main character and his friends.
[03:59] Kin
    Send him packing!
[04:06] Zura
    Go ahead and try!
[04:09] Zura
    But we hold inside us
[04:12] Zura
    ironclad memories of the
    battles we fought together!
[04:16] Zura
    A silver sword lies inside our souls!
[04:20] Gin
    If you think you can
    break those swords,
[04:24] Gin
    break them!
[04:26] Gin
    My hypnotism isn't working!
[04:30] Kin
    Crush them! Beat them down!
[04:32] Zura
    Go!
[04:33] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[04:36] Gin
    Yeah, I'll let you watch my back!
[04:40] Gin
    While...
[04:41] Both
    I handle being the main character!
[05:06] Kin
    I'll obliterate you.
[05:07] Kin
    Erase your memories, your
    friends, your very being...
[05:13] Gin
    You're the one who's
    getting obliterated.
[05:15] Gin
    Let's see if your memory
    bank is fried first,
[05:19] Gin
    or if my soul burns out first.
[05:23] Gin
    Let's finish this.
[05:26] Kin
    Whether gold or silver wins
    this battle for existence,
[05:29] ---
    you will be the one who disappears.
[05:32] Kin
    I installed a special program
    in myself that will activate
[05:36] ---
    when certain conditions are met.
[05:38] Kin
    This program will cause
    a hypnotic explosion
[05:40] ---
    that will blanket the
    entire Kabuki district
[05:43] Kin
    and reset everyone's memory.
[05:47] Kin
    There are two conditions.
[05:49] Kin
    The first is when my core is broken.
[05:52] Kin
    The second
[05:54] Kin
    is about to happen.
[05:58] Otae
    Shin-chan! Kagura-chan!
[06:00] Otae
    What are you doing here?!
[06:02] Otae
    Come on! Pull yourself together!
[06:05] Shin
    Sis...
[06:07] Shin
    We remembered everything.
[06:11] Shin
    Who Sakata Kintoki really is,
[06:14] Shin
    who Sakata Gintoki really is...
[06:18] Shin
    The person who altered our
    memories just restored them.
[06:22] Shin
    After that, we lost consciousness.
[06:25] Kag
    Boss lady, we did terrible
    things to Gin-chan.
[06:30] Kag
    How do we say we're sorry?
[06:33] Kag
    How can we make up?
[06:38] Otae
    Stand up, you two.
[06:41] Otae
    Let's go back to our leader.
[06:45] Kin
    The second is when the four people
[06:48] ---
    who started this all appear before me.
[06:55] Kin
    Understand?
[06:58] Kin
    If you defeat me or
    recover your friends,
[07:03] Kin
    everything will end.
[07:05] Kin
    That was my true objective.
[07:08] Kin
    You thought I wanted to take
    over this lousy anime?
[07:11] Kin
    Sorry, but I'm not going
[07:12] ---
    to be satisfied with
    your sloppy seconds.
[07:15] Kin
    I take everything from you
[07:17] ---
    and become the worst
    enemy you've ever faced.
[07:21] Kin
    But still, you're able to recover
    your friends singlehandedly
[07:25] ---
    and work together to defeat me.
[07:28] Kin
    Yes, that is what I was hoping
    to see in this final battle.
[07:34] Kin
    I wanted to give this
    show its last episode
[07:37] Kin
    so I could return as the main character
[07:39] ---
    of a show that was neither
    Gintama nor Kintama.
[07:44] Kin
    Sakata Gintoki, this anime returned
[07:49] Kin
    as a tombstone to mark an end
    to your pathetic existence,
[07:54] ---
    to this joke of an anime.
[07:57] Kin
    Well done.
[07:59] Kin
    You and your friends have
[08:02] ---
    made the atmosphere perfect
    for a final episode.
[08:06] Kin
    Don't worry about me.
[08:08] Kin
    I've backed up my data
    and prepared a new body.
[08:12] Kin
    Rest easy.
[08:14] Kin
    The finale will be very soon.
[08:18] Gin
    That's it?
[08:20] Gin
    Is that all you have to say?
[08:26] Gin
    Sorry, you took so long that I
    missed half of what you said.
[08:32] Kin
    Y-You'll pay for ignoring my warning!
[08:35] Kin
    If you kill me...
[08:36] Gin
    You're finished, right?
[08:41] Kin
    B-Bastard...
[08:44] Kin
    You think you can end this yourself?
[08:47] Kin
    Without recovering
    everything you've lost?
[08:55] Gin
    Nothing's going to end.
[09:00] Gin
    Except for
[09:03] Gin
    you and me, brother.
[09:06] Kin
    Seppuku?!
[09:07] Kin
    You'll lose more than your memories!
[09:09] Kin
    You're going to cripple yourself!
[09:11] Gin
    That's just fine.
[09:12] Gin
    Everyone else forgot about me.
[09:15] Gin
    It's my turn to forget.
[09:17] Kin
    Fool!
[09:18] Kin
    Have you forgotten that I've
    made a copy of myself?!
[09:22] Gin
    I have my own copies.
[09:26] Gin
    They don't listen to a word I say,
[09:29] ---
    but they share the same soul.
[09:32] Gin
    Listen up, Kintoki.
[09:34] Gin
    The main character in Gintama
[09:37] Gin
    is every last idiot alive in this show!
[09:46] Kag
    Gin-chan!
[09:50] Gin
    Can I hold him back by myself?!
[09:57] Gin
    Sorry, everyone.
[09:59] Gin
    You finally remembered me,
[10:02] ---
    but I doubt we'll be
    seeing each other again.
[10:04] Gin
    I was hoping to see your
    stupid faces one last ti—
[10:11] Shin
    Sorry, Gin-san. We kept you waiting.
[10:14] Kag
    We won't let you go off
    by yourself, Gin-chan.
[10:17] Kag
    We'll always be together.
[10:20] Otae
    Don't worry.
[10:22] ---
    We won't forget you this time.
[10:24] Otae
    If you forget about me, I'll punch you.
[10:30] Gin
    Fools...
[10:32] Gin
    Now that you're here, this
    anime is really going to end!
[10:36] Gin
    And it just started again!
[10:38] Shin
    That's not true.
[10:40] Shin
    You'll be there.
[10:41] Shin
    We'll all be there
[10:43] Shin
    to save the day.
[10:50] Kag
    So it doesn't matter how
    many times we forget,
[10:53] ---
    how many times we're separated.
[10:55] Kag
    Isn't that right, Gin-chan?
[10:59] Gin
    Yeah...
[11:02] Gin
    I'll find you.
[11:06] Gin
    We'll see each other again.
[11:45] Toki
    A sword isn't meant to be
    sheathed in underwear.
[11:49] Toki
    It belongs in a scabbard.
[11:52] Toki
    I don't think I can be
    your scabbard anymore,
[11:56] Toki
    but I'm sure there's a girl out there
[11:59] ---
    who's worthy of being your scabbard,
[12:01] Toki
    so you must find her
    so you can be happy.
[12:04] Kin
    I don't wanna.
[12:05] Kin
    I want Tokiko-chan.
[12:08] Toki
    Geez, you're so stupid.
[12:12] Toki
    Will you make me a promise then?
[12:15] Toki
    If I'm reincarnated,
    I'll find you again.
[12:20] Toki
    So promise you'll also find me.
[12:24] Kin
    Uh-huh, I promise.
[12:27] Kin
    I'll find my precious scabbard.
SIGN    Mantama
SIGN    aren't cute at all.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    Oedo Expendables
    Matsuo & Kiyo Drugstore
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Gold and silver
SIGN    The new show Mantama
SIGN    begins now.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    
    
    Andromeda Sweets Shop
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Episode 1: A Man's Sword
[13:50] Kin
    Love Country.
SIGN    Be sure to watch Mantama in a well-lit room
    and sit some distance from the TV!
[13:53] Kin
    There was a time, long ago, when our
[13:55] ---
    country was called by that name.
SIGN    20 Years Ago
[13:57] Kin
    Twenty years ago, a mysterious
    building appeared out of nowhere
[14:03] Kin
    and spread a mysterious virus
[14:06] Kin
    that caused every man's
    pride to rot and fall off.
[14:11] Kin
    Where men and women once talked of love,
[14:14] Kin
    we now had trannies and women bitching.
[14:17] Kin
    Where men and women once spoke of love...
[14:20] A
    Fantabulosa!
[14:21] Kin
    ...was all that remained.
[14:23] Kin
    However, there was one last samurai
    with a resistance to the virus,
[14:27] ---
    whose sword of steel remained strong.
[14:30] Kin
    Sakata Kintoki.
[14:32] Kin
    Yes, he was the last hope for mankind.
[14:36] Kin
    The man who had the right to
    claim every woman on the planet,
[14:40] Kin
    but instead continued to search
    for a single scabbard.
[14:42] Kin
    That man was me.
[14:44] A
    Good morning, Sakata-kun!
[14:45] A
    Let's go to school together!
[14:47] B
    I made an extra lunch today.
[14:49] B
    Would you like it?
[14:50] C
    Sakata-kun promised to
    have lunch with me!
[14:54] D
    What are you talking about?
    He promised me, too.
[14:56] Kin
    Sorry, but I don't remember making
[14:58] ---
    any promises to you girls.
[15:00] Kin
    My promise is to someone else.
[15:02] Kin
    A promise that was made
    long before you were born.
[15:06] B
    Huh? What does that mean?
[15:09] Kin
    How much time has passed
[15:11] ---
    since I started looking for you?
[15:14] Kin
    To keep my promise to you,
[15:16] ---
    I changed my sword, my body, into metal,
[15:19] Kin
    so I could remain a man, even
    if I was no longer human.
[15:23] Kin
    Eventually, the human race will
    die and I'll be left alone.
[15:28] Kin
    But my sword will never break.
[15:31] Kin
    Even if you're reincarnated
    as a cockroach,
[15:33] Kin
    you will still be my precious partner.
[15:36] Toki
    Oh no!
[15:37] Toki
    I'm late on my first day
    at my new school!
SIGN    Wham!
[15:42] All
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[15:44] Kin
    Ow...
[15:46] Toki
    Ouch.
[15:48] Toki
    Oops, I screwed up!
[15:53] Kin
    Could it be...
[15:53] Toki
    I'm sorry. Are you hurt?
[15:54] Kin
    Is it truly...
[15:56] Kin
    ...her reincarnation?
[15:59] Toki
    Um, excuse me.
[16:03] Toki
    That's my plastic bottle.
[16:06] Kin
    Sh-Shit!
[16:08] B
    A plastic bottle is stuck on
[16:10] ---
    the only sword left in the entire world!
[16:13] Gor
    What's all this fuss about?
[16:15] C
    Ms. Goriko!
[16:16] C
    It's terrible!
[16:18] C
    Look at Sakata-kun's crotch!
[16:20] Gor
    This is...
[16:21] Gor
    Don't touch it!
[16:22] Gor
    If the main character of
    this anime loses his crotch,
[16:25] ---
    his only unique feature,
[16:27] Gor
    Sakata-kun will no longer be
[16:28] ---
    qualified to be the main character!
[16:29] Kin
    Teach!
[16:30] ---
    Don't make it sound like my
    crotch is all there is to me!
[16:33] Gor
    For now, let's carefully carry
    him to the nurse's office.
[16:36] Gor
    Here we go!
[16:38] A
    Teach! Could you be any less careful?!
[16:41] B
    Look out! There's a
    ball coming your way!
[16:45] E
    Teach! Please go to
    the nurse's office!
[16:48] E
    Thanks, Teach!
[16:49] Kin
    Hold on!
[16:51] Kin
    You've got two balls and
    a bat in your mitt now!
[16:54] ---
    Okay, here I go!
[16:55] Kin
    Wait!
[16:56] Kin
    Those are my balls and bat!
[16:58] E
    Kick off!
[16:59] Kin
    Aren't you playing baseball?!
[17:02] Kin
    She hit the school!
[17:04] Kin
    My sword!
[17:06] F
    What's going on?
[17:08] F
    This came flying into the art room.
[17:11] Kin
    Is it okay?!
[17:12] F
    Yes, there was a broken
    screw in the bottle,
[17:16] ---
    so I repaired it.
[17:17] Kin
    Bon voyage!
[17:20] A
    Sakata-kun's crotch
    has gone bon voyage!
[17:25] Gor
    Okay, let's take attendance!
[17:28] Kin
    It's over...
[17:30] Kin
    I finally found someone who
    appeared to be her reincarnation,
[17:34] Kin
    but my scabbard is a plastic bottle,
[17:36] Kin
    and my sword has set
    sail for a new world.
[17:40] Kin
    I can no longer...
[17:44] Toki
    Excuse me!
[17:45] Gor
    Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[17:47] Gor
    You're late on your first day.
[17:48] Toki
    I-I'm sorry.
[17:54] Toki
    Nice to meet you.
[17:55] Toki
    I'm a new transfer student.
[17:58] Toki
    Sorry about being late.
[18:00] Toki
    I was looking for something.
[18:04] Toki
    It took forever,
[18:05] Toki
    but I was finally able to find it.
[18:10] Toki
    Find you...
[18:14] Toki
    Sorry it took so long.
[18:21] Kin
    Tokiko-chan!
[18:26] Toki
    You don't need to cry.
[18:28] Toki
    Didn't we promise
[18:32] Gin
    that we would meet again?
SIGN    Sakata Gintoki
[18:36] Gin
    Let's start over.
[18:38] Gin
    I'm the new transfer
    student, Sakata Gintoki.
[18:43] Gin
    Hey, what's with the look on your face?
[18:45] Gin
    Did you forget the promise we made?
[18:49] Shin
    Of course not.
[18:51] Shin
    It doesn't matter how
    many times we forget...
[18:53] Kag
    How many times we're separated.
[18:55] Otae
    We'll find you.
[18:59] All
    Right, Gin-san?
[19:02] Gin
    There you go, brother.
[19:05] Gin
    Sorry to ruin your main
    character gig, but Mantama
[19:09] Gin
    was created to be your tombstone.
[19:24] Tama
    Did you enjoy your brief
    experience as a main character?
[19:28] Tama
    Did you enjoy having
    everything important
[19:31] ---
    to you taken away?
[19:33] Tama
    That's what you were doing.
[19:36] Kin
    I see...
[19:37] ---
    So that world was a virtual
    one that you created.
[19:41] Gen
    When I was repairing you,
    I added a few safety measures.
[19:46] Kin
    That's why they still
    have their memories
[19:48] ---
    after being hit by the
    hypnotic explosion?
[19:51] Gen
    Heh, they didn't need my help.
[19:55] Gen
    Kintoki, the bond people share
[19:58] Gen
    goes deeper than the memory.
[20:04] Gin
    Tama, I've settled my score with him.
[20:08] Gin
    He's all yours now.
[20:10] Gin
    Boil him, fry him,
    do whatever you want.
[20:13] Shin
    Please wait, Tama-san!
[20:15] Kag
    Can you spare him?!
[20:18] Shin
    We were the ones who
    asked you to make him!
[20:21] Kag
    He was just trying to take
    Gin-chan's place as our leader!
[20:24] Kag
    He just went too far!
[20:27] Shin
    We'll join him in begging
    everyone for forgiveness!
[20:31] Shin
    Please!
[20:33] Tama
    Did you hear that?
[20:36] Kin
    You people are too soft.
[20:38] Kin
    Gintoki, this is the reality
    of what you've achieved.
[20:42] Kin
    See how your friends are too
    weak to finish off your enemy.
[20:46] Kin
    See how you were too powerless
    to do anything alone.
[20:51] Kin
    Your imperfect character was
[20:53] ---
    destined to fail, even
    without my intervention.
[20:56] Gin
    You're absolutely right.
[20:58] Gin
    I can't do anything alone.
[21:01] Gin
    Everyone here has their
    flaws and imperfections.
[21:04] Gin
    But that's what drives
    us to work together
[21:07] ---
    to make up for those flaws.
[21:10] Gin
    Together, we make the
    perfect main character.
[21:14] Gin
    If you don't believe me,
    you can come back.
[21:17] Gin
    We'll take you on again.
[21:19] Gin
    See ya, imperfect plastic model.
[21:22] Kin
    Wait! Did you say I was imperfect?!
[21:24] Kin
    Take that back!
[21:26] Tama
    No, you are certainly imperfect.
[21:31] Tama
    You were so focused on altering
    other people's memories,
[21:36] Tama
    you didn't realize that other
    people were altering your soul.
[21:41] Tama
    You should treasure the
    life your friends spared.
[21:50] Kin
    Gramps...
[21:52] Kin
    Can you polish me up?
[21:55] Gen
    No idea. I can start by
    making you shiny gold.
[22:00] Gen
    No, shiny gold won't do.
[22:03] Sa
    Gin-san!
SIGN    Gintama
[22:08] All
    Welcome back!
[22:11] Gen
    Let's try making you
SIGN    Gintama Episode 256
[22:14] ---
    shiny silver.
SIGN    We're Back

256 - Gintama Classic - It Takes a Bit of Courage to Enter a Street Vendor's Stand

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    The Meaning of a Main Character
[00:04] Tojo
    Lady?
[00:05] A
    Boss?
[00:06] B
    Sarutobi-dono?
[00:08] Kin
    You're siding with him?
[00:11] Kin
    You're going to betray
    your friends, betray me,
[00:14] Kin
    for a man who attacked your friends?
[00:21] Gin
    What do you think you're doing?
[00:23] Gin
    If you do this...
SIGN    Field Trip Groups
SIGN    Boys
SIGN    Sakata
[00:26] Sa
    Stop it, boys!
[00:28] Sa
    Let Sakata-kun join in!
[00:30] Kyu
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[00:32] Sa
    Teacher, can we let
    Sakata-kun join our group?
[00:36] Gin
    ...I'll feel like that pathetic
    left-out boy who
[00:39] ---
    ends up in a group of girls
    out of sympathy!
[00:43] Kyu
    Kintoki, we trusted you.
[00:46] Kyu
    That's why we're here.
[00:48] Tsu
    So trust us.
[00:50] Tsu
    This man isn't what you think he is.
[00:53] Sa
    The Kin-san I know would back off.
[00:58] All
    If you consider us friends...
[01:04] Kin
    I see.
[01:05] Kin
    I suppose you're representing
    the Yagyu and Hyakka.
[01:11] Kin
    Get out of this town
[01:14] Kin
    with Gintoki.
[01:16] Tojo
    Kintoki-dono?!
[01:17] Kin
    If you're taking that man's side,
[01:20] Kin
    you're an enemy of this town,
[01:21] ---
    an enemy of the Kabuki district!
[01:25] Kyu
    I see.
[01:26] Kyu
    Is that your answer?
[01:39] Zura
    In that case...
[01:39] Both
    We also have our answer.
[01:43] Kin
    What do you think you're doing?
[01:46] Kin
    Women are quick to betray you,
[01:48] Kin
    but men are supposed to have honor.
[01:52] Kin
    Aren't we frien—
[01:53] Zura
    We're friends.
[01:54] Mada
    No doubt about it.
[01:56] Zura
    Kintoki, I once made a
    promise with a friend.
[02:00] Zura
    Never change.
[02:03] Gin
    If you ever change, I'll
    be there to cut you down.
[02:07] Mada
    Kin-san, a buddy of mine
    used to smack me around.
[02:11] Gin
    Fool! Don't blame everything
    on your sunglasses!
[02:15] Mada
    That's who we are.
[02:17] Zura
    When we believe you're
    taking the right path,
[02:21] ---
    we stick with you,
    no matter how hard it is.
[02:24] Mada
    But if you're taking the wrong path,
[02:27] ---
    we'll stop you, even if it turns
    the whole world against us.
[02:32] Zura
    That friend is...
[02:33] Mada
    That man is...
[02:35] Kyu
    That idiot is...
[02:36] Tsu
    That lazy ass is...
[02:38] Sa
    That sadist is...
[02:43] All
    Our friend, Sakata Gintoki.
[02:49] Tojo
    Huh?
[02:50] Tojo
    I-I kind of went with the flow,
    but I can't remember a thing.
[02:53] Gin
    Y-You guys are...
SIGN    Middle School Class Reunion
[02:58] Zura
    Yo, it's been forever.
    You been doing okay?
[03:01] Mada
    You still look like a
    loser. Have a drink.
[03:04] Gin
    ...acting all friendly and mature
    at our class reunion as though
[03:08] ---
    you never shunned me
    when we were kids.
[03:11] ---
    Screw you!
[03:19] Gin
    Bastard!
[03:20] Kin
    Impressive, brother.
[03:22] Kin
    So this is the power of
    a bond forged through
[03:25] ---
    60 volumes of DVDs?
[03:27] Kin
    But it's no use.
[03:29] Kin
    You can try to win them back,
[03:31] Kin
    but I can undo your work
    with a wave of my hand.
[03:34] Kin
    Want to know why?
[03:36] Kin
    It's because the main
    character in this anime...
[03:39] All
    ...is Kin-san.
[03:43] Kin
    You thought I couldn't
    brainwash people anymore.
[03:46] Kin
    Tama threw away her life for nothing.
[03:49] Kin
    Come on, let's protect our town.
[03:53] Kin
    This sideshow continues to defy
[03:56] ---
    the main character and his friends.
[03:59] Kin
    Send him packing!
[04:06] Zura
    Go ahead and try!
[04:09] Zura
    But we hold inside us
[04:12] Zura
    ironclad memories of the
    battles we fought together!
[04:16] Zura
    A silver sword lies inside our souls!
[04:20] Gin
    If you think you can
    break those swords,
[04:24] Gin
    break them!
[04:26] Gin
    My hypnotism isn't working!
[04:30] Kin
    Crush them! Beat them down!
[04:32] Zura
    Go!
[04:33] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[04:36] Gin
    Yeah, I'll let you watch my back!
[04:40] Gin
    While...
[04:41] Both
    I handle being the main character!
[05:06] Kin
    I'll obliterate you.
[05:07] Kin
    Erase your memories, your
    friends, your very being...
[05:13] Gin
    You're the one who's
    getting obliterated.
[05:15] Gin
    Let's see if your memory
    bank is fried first,
[05:19] Gin
    or if my soul burns out first.
[05:23] Gin
    Let's finish this.
[05:26] Kin
    Whether gold or silver wins
    this battle for existence,
[05:29] ---
    you will be the one who disappears.
[05:32] Kin
    I installed a special program
    in myself that will activate
[05:36] ---
    when certain conditions are met.
[05:38] Kin
    This program will cause
    a hypnotic explosion
[05:40] ---
    that will blanket the
    entire Kabuki district
[05:43] Kin
    and reset everyone's memory.
[05:47] Kin
    There are two conditions.
[05:49] Kin
    The first is when my core is broken.
[05:52] Kin
    The second
[05:54] Kin
    is about to happen.
[05:58] Otae
    Shin-chan! Kagura-chan!
[06:00] Otae
    What are you doing here?!
[06:02] Otae
    Come on! Pull yourself together!
[06:05] Shin
    Sis...
[06:07] Shin
    We remembered everything.
[06:11] Shin
    Who Sakata Kintoki really is,
[06:14] Shin
    who Sakata Gintoki really is...
[06:18] Shin
    The person who altered our
    memories just restored them.
[06:22] Shin
    After that, we lost consciousness.
[06:25] Kag
    Boss lady, we did terrible
    things to Gin-chan.
[06:30] Kag
    How do we say we're sorry?
[06:33] Kag
    How can we make up?
[06:38] Otae
    Stand up, you two.
[06:41] Otae
    Let's go back to our leader.
[06:45] Kin
    The second is when the four people
[06:48] ---
    who started this all appear before me.
[06:55] Kin
    Understand?
[06:58] Kin
    If you defeat me or
    recover your friends,
[07:03] Kin
    everything will end.
[07:05] Kin
    That was my true objective.
[07:08] Kin
    You thought I wanted to take
    over this lousy anime?
[07:11] Kin
    Sorry, but I'm not going
[07:12] ---
    to be satisfied with
    your sloppy seconds.
[07:15] Kin
    I take everything from you
[07:17] ---
    and become the worst
    enemy you've ever faced.
[07:21] Kin
    But still, you're able to recover
    your friends singlehandedly
[07:25] ---
    and work together to defeat me.
[07:28] Kin
    Yes, that is what I was hoping
    to see in this final battle.
[07:34] Kin
    I wanted to give this
    show its last episode
[07:37] Kin
    so I could return as the main character
[07:39] ---
    of a show that was neither
    Gintama nor Kintama.
[07:44] Kin
    Sakata Gintoki, this anime returned
[07:49] Kin
    as a tombstone to mark an end
    to your pathetic existence,
[07:54] ---
    to this joke of an anime.
[07:57] Kin
    Well done.
[07:59] Kin
    You and your friends have
[08:02] ---
    made the atmosphere perfect
    for a final episode.
[08:06] Kin
    Don't worry about me.
[08:08] Kin
    I've backed up my data
    and prepared a new body.
[08:12] Kin
    Rest easy.
[08:14] Kin
    The finale will be very soon.
[08:18] Gin
    That's it?
[08:20] Gin
    Is that all you have to say?
[08:26] Gin
    Sorry, you took so long that I
    missed half of what you said.
[08:32] Kin
    Y-You'll pay for ignoring my warning!
[08:35] Kin
    If you kill me...
[08:36] Gin
    You're finished, right?
[08:41] Kin
    B-Bastard...
[08:44] Kin
    You think you can end this yourself?
[08:47] Kin
    Without recovering
    everything you've lost?
[08:55] Gin
    Nothing's going to end.
[09:00] Gin
    Except for
[09:03] Gin
    you and me, brother.
[09:06] Kin
    Seppuku?!
[09:07] Kin
    You'll lose more than your memories!
[09:09] Kin
    You're going to cripple yourself!
[09:11] Gin
    That's just fine.
[09:12] Gin
    Everyone else forgot about me.
[09:15] Gin
    It's my turn to forget.
[09:17] Kin
    Fool!
[09:18] Kin
    Have you forgotten that I've
    made a copy of myself?!
[09:22] Gin
    I have my own copies.
[09:26] Gin
    They don't listen to a word I say,
[09:29] ---
    but they share the same soul.
[09:32] Gin
    Listen up, Kintoki.
[09:34] Gin
    The main character in Gintama
[09:37] Gin
    is every last idiot alive in this show!
[09:46] Kag
    Gin-chan!
[09:50] Gin
    Can I hold him back by myself?!
[09:57] Gin
    Sorry, everyone.
[09:59] Gin
    You finally remembered me,
[10:02] ---
    but I doubt we'll be
    seeing each other again.
[10:04] Gin
    I was hoping to see your
    stupid faces one last ti—
[10:11] Shin
    Sorry, Gin-san. We kept you waiting.
[10:14] Kag
    We won't let you go off
    by yourself, Gin-chan.
[10:17] Kag
    We'll always be together.
[10:20] Otae
    Don't worry.
[10:22] ---
    We won't forget you this time.
[10:24] Otae
    If you forget about me, I'll punch you.
[10:30] Gin
    Fools...
[10:32] Gin
    Now that you're here, this
    anime is really going to end!
[10:36] Gin
    And it just started again!
[10:38] Shin
    That's not true.
[10:40] Shin
    You'll be there.
[10:41] Shin
    We'll all be there
[10:43] Shin
    to save the day.
[10:50] Kag
    So it doesn't matter how
    many times we forget,
[10:53] ---
    how many times we're separated.
[10:55] Kag
    Isn't that right, Gin-chan?
[10:59] Gin
    Yeah...
[11:02] Gin
    I'll find you.
[11:06] Gin
    We'll see each other again.
[11:45] Toki
    A sword isn't meant to be
    sheathed in underwear.
[11:49] Toki
    It belongs in a scabbard.
[11:52] Toki
    I don't think I can be
    your scabbard anymore,
[11:56] Toki
    but I'm sure there's a girl out there
[11:59] ---
    who's worthy of being your scabbard,
[12:01] Toki
    so you must find her
    so you can be happy.
[12:04] Kin
    I don't wanna.
[12:05] Kin
    I want Tokiko-chan.
[12:08] Toki
    Geez, you're so stupid.
[12:12] Toki
    Will you make me a promise then?
[12:15] Toki
    If I'm reincarnated,
    I'll find you again.
[12:20] Toki
    So promise you'll also find me.
[12:24] Kin
    Uh-huh, I promise.
[12:27] Kin
    I'll find my precious scabbard.
SIGN    Mantama
SIGN    aren't cute at all.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    Oedo Expendables
    Matsuo & Kiyo Drugstore
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Gold and silver
SIGN    The new show Mantama
SIGN    begins now.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    
    
    Andromeda Sweets Shop
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Episode 1: A Man's Sword
[13:50] Kin
    Love Country.
SIGN    Be sure to watch Mantama in a well-lit room
    and sit some distance from the TV!
[13:53] Kin
    There was a time, long ago, when our
[13:55] ---
    country was called by that name.
SIGN    20 Years Ago
[13:57] Kin
    Twenty years ago, a mysterious
    building appeared out of nowhere
[14:03] Kin
    and spread a mysterious virus
[14:06] Kin
    that caused every man's
    pride to rot and fall off.
[14:11] Kin
    Where men and women once talked of love,
[14:14] Kin
    we now had trannies and women bitching.
[14:17] Kin
    Where men and women once spoke of love...
[14:20] A
    Fantabulosa!
[14:21] Kin
    ...was all that remained.
[14:23] Kin
    However, there was one last samurai
    with a resistance to the virus,
[14:27] ---
    whose sword of steel remained strong.
[14:30] Kin
    Sakata Kintoki.
[14:32] Kin
    Yes, he was the last hope for mankind.
[14:36] Kin
    The man who had the right to
    claim every woman on the planet,
[14:40] Kin
    but instead continued to search
    for a single scabbard.
[14:42] Kin
    That man was me.
[14:44] A
    Good morning, Sakata-kun!
[14:45] A
    Let's go to school together!
[14:47] B
    I made an extra lunch today.
[14:49] B
    Would you like it?
[14:50] C
    Sakata-kun promised to
    have lunch with me!
[14:54] D
    What are you talking about?
    He promised me, too.
[14:56] Kin
    Sorry, but I don't remember making
[14:58] ---
    any promises to you girls.
[15:00] Kin
    My promise is to someone else.
[15:02] Kin
    A promise that was made
    long before you were born.
[15:06] B
    Huh? What does that mean?
[15:09] Kin
    How much time has passed
[15:11] ---
    since I started looking for you?
[15:14] Kin
    To keep my promise to you,
[15:16] ---
    I changed my sword, my body, into metal,
[15:19] Kin
    so I could remain a man, even
    if I was no longer human.
[15:23] Kin
    Eventually, the human race will
    die and I'll be left alone.
[15:28] Kin
    But my sword will never break.
[15:31] Kin
    Even if you're reincarnated
    as a cockroach,
[15:33] Kin
    you will still be my precious partner.
[15:36] Toki
    Oh no!
[15:37] Toki
    I'm late on my first day
    at my new school!
SIGN    Wham!
[15:42] All
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[15:44] Kin
    Ow...
[15:46] Toki
    Ouch.
[15:48] Toki
    Oops, I screwed up!
[15:53] Kin
    Could it be...
[15:53] Toki
    I'm sorry. Are you hurt?
[15:54] Kin
    Is it truly...
[15:56] Kin
    ...her reincarnation?
[15:59] Toki
    Um, excuse me.
[16:03] Toki
    That's my plastic bottle.
[16:06] Kin
    Sh-Shit!
[16:08] B
    A plastic bottle is stuck on
[16:10] ---
    the only sword left in the entire world!
[16:13] Gor
    What's all this fuss about?
[16:15] C
    Ms. Goriko!
[16:16] C
    It's terrible!
[16:18] C
    Look at Sakata-kun's crotch!
[16:20] Gor
    This is...
[16:21] Gor
    Don't touch it!
[16:22] Gor
    If the main character of
    this anime loses his crotch,
[16:25] ---
    his only unique feature,
[16:27] Gor
    Sakata-kun will no longer be
[16:28] ---
    qualified to be the main character!
[16:29] Kin
    Teach!
[16:30] ---
    Don't make it sound like my
    crotch is all there is to me!
[16:33] Gor
    For now, let's carefully carry
    him to the nurse's office.
[16:36] Gor
    Here we go!
[16:38] A
    Teach! Could you be any less careful?!
[16:41] B
    Look out! There's a
    ball coming your way!
[16:45] E
    Teach! Please go to
    the nurse's office!
[16:48] E
    Thanks, Teach!
[16:49] Kin
    Hold on!
[16:51] Kin
    You've got two balls and
    a bat in your mitt now!
[16:54] ---
    Okay, here I go!
[16:55] Kin
    Wait!
[16:56] Kin
    Those are my balls and bat!
[16:58] E
    Kick off!
[16:59] Kin
    Aren't you playing baseball?!
[17:02] Kin
    She hit the school!
[17:04] Kin
    My sword!
[17:06] F
    What's going on?
[17:08] F
    This came flying into the art room.
[17:11] Kin
    Is it okay?!
[17:12] F
    Yes, there was a broken
    screw in the bottle,
[17:16] ---
    so I repaired it.
[17:17] Kin
    Bon voyage!
[17:20] A
    Sakata-kun's crotch
    has gone bon voyage!
[17:25] Gor
    Okay, let's take attendance!
[17:28] Kin
    It's over...
[17:30] Kin
    I finally found someone who
    appeared to be her reincarnation,
[17:34] Kin
    but my scabbard is a plastic bottle,
[17:36] Kin
    and my sword has set
    sail for a new world.
[17:40] Kin
    I can no longer...
[17:44] Toki
    Excuse me!
[17:45] Gor
    Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[17:47] Gor
    You're late on your first day.
[17:48] Toki
    I-I'm sorry.
[17:54] Toki
    Nice to meet you.
[17:55] Toki
    I'm a new transfer student.
[17:58] Toki
    Sorry about being late.
[18:00] Toki
    I was looking for something.
[18:04] Toki
    It took forever,
[18:05] Toki
    but I was finally able to find it.
[18:10] Toki
    Find you...
[18:14] Toki
    Sorry it took so long.
[18:21] Kin
    Tokiko-chan!
[18:26] Toki
    You don't need to cry.
[18:28] Toki
    Didn't we promise
[18:32] Gin
    that we would meet again?
SIGN    Sakata Gintoki
[18:36] Gin
    Let's start over.
[18:38] Gin
    I'm the new transfer
    student, Sakata Gintoki.
[18:43] Gin
    Hey, what's with the look on your face?
[18:45] Gin
    Did you forget the promise we made?
[18:49] Shin
    Of course not.
[18:51] Shin
    It doesn't matter how
    many times we forget...
[18:53] Kag
    How many times we're separated.
[18:55] Otae
    We'll find you.
[18:59] All
    Right, Gin-san?
[19:02] Gin
    There you go, brother.
[19:05] Gin
    Sorry to ruin your main
    character gig, but Mantama
[19:09] Gin
    was created to be your tombstone.
[19:24] Tama
    Did you enjoy your brief
    experience as a main character?
[19:28] Tama
    Did you enjoy having
    everything important
[19:31] ---
    to you taken away?
[19:33] Tama
    That's what you were doing.
[19:36] Kin
    I see...
[19:37] ---
    So that world was a virtual
    one that you created.
[19:41] Gen
    When I was repairing you,
    I added a few safety measures.
[19:46] Kin
    That's why they still
    have their memories
[19:48] ---
    after being hit by the
    hypnotic explosion?
[19:51] Gen
    Heh, they didn't need my help.
[19:55] Gen
    Kintoki, the bond people share
[19:58] Gen
    goes deeper than the memory.
[20:04] Gin
    Tama, I've settled my score with him.
[20:08] Gin
    He's all yours now.
[20:10] Gin
    Boil him, fry him,
    do whatever you want.
[20:13] Shin
    Please wait, Tama-san!
[20:15] Kag
    Can you spare him?!
[20:18] Shin
    We were the ones who
    asked you to make him!
[20:21] Kag
    He was just trying to take
    Gin-chan's place as our leader!
[20:24] Kag
    He just went too far!
[20:27] Shin
    We'll join him in begging
    everyone for forgiveness!
[20:31] Shin
    Please!
[20:33] Tama
    Did you hear that?
[20:36] Kin
    You people are too soft.
[20:38] Kin
    Gintoki, this is the reality
    of what you've achieved.
[20:42] Kin
    See how your friends are too
    weak to finish off your enemy.
[20:46] Kin
    See how you were too powerless
    to do anything alone.
[20:51] Kin
    Your imperfect character was
[20:53] ---
    destined to fail, even
    without my intervention.
[20:56] Gin
    You're absolutely right.
[20:58] Gin
    I can't do anything alone.
[21:01] Gin
    Everyone here has their
    flaws and imperfections.
[21:04] Gin
    But that's what drives
    us to work together
[21:07] ---
    to make up for those flaws.
[21:10] Gin
    Together, we make the
    perfect main character.
[21:14] Gin
    If you don't believe me,
    you can come back.
[21:17] Gin
    We'll take you on again.
[21:19] Gin
    See ya, imperfect plastic model.
[21:22] Kin
    Wait! Did you say I was imperfect?!
[21:24] Kin
    Take that back!
[21:26] Tama
    No, you are certainly imperfect.
[21:31] Tama
    You were so focused on altering
    other people's memories,
[21:36] Tama
    you didn't realize that other
    people were altering your soul.
[21:41] Tama
    You should treasure the
    life your friends spared.
[21:50] Kin
    Gramps...
[21:52] Kin
    Can you polish me up?
[21:55] Gen
    No idea. I can start by
    making you shiny gold.
[22:00] Gen
    No, shiny gold won't do.
[22:03] Sa
    Gin-san!
SIGN    Gintama
[22:08] All
    Welcome back!
[22:11] Gen
    Let's try making you
SIGN    Gintama Episode 256
[22:14] ---
    shiny silver.
SIGN    We're Back

256 - Gintama Classic - Definitely Do Not Let Your Girlfriend See The Things You Use For Cross-dressing / There's Almost a 100% Chance You’ll Forget Your Umbrella and Hate Yourself For It

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    The Meaning of a Main Character
[00:04] Tojo
    Lady?
[00:05] A
    Boss?
[00:06] B
    Sarutobi-dono?
[00:08] Kin
    You're siding with him?
[00:11] Kin
    You're going to betray
    your friends, betray me,
[00:14] Kin
    for a man who attacked your friends?
[00:21] Gin
    What do you think you're doing?
[00:23] Gin
    If you do this...
SIGN    Field Trip Groups
SIGN    Boys
SIGN    Sakata
[00:26] Sa
    Stop it, boys!
[00:28] Sa
    Let Sakata-kun join in!
[00:30] Kyu
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[00:32] Sa
    Teacher, can we let
    Sakata-kun join our group?
[00:36] Gin
    ...I'll feel like that pathetic
    left-out boy who
[00:39] ---
    ends up in a group of girls
    out of sympathy!
[00:43] Kyu
    Kintoki, we trusted you.
[00:46] Kyu
    That's why we're here.
[00:48] Tsu
    So trust us.
[00:50] Tsu
    This man isn't what you think he is.
[00:53] Sa
    The Kin-san I know would back off.
[00:58] All
    If you consider us friends...
[01:04] Kin
    I see.
[01:05] Kin
    I suppose you're representing
    the Yagyu and Hyakka.
[01:11] Kin
    Get out of this town
[01:14] Kin
    with Gintoki.
[01:16] Tojo
    Kintoki-dono?!
[01:17] Kin
    If you're taking that man's side,
[01:20] Kin
    you're an enemy of this town,
[01:21] ---
    an enemy of the Kabuki district!
[01:25] Kyu
    I see.
[01:26] Kyu
    Is that your answer?
[01:39] Zura
    In that case...
[01:39] Both
    We also have our answer.
[01:43] Kin
    What do you think you're doing?
[01:46] Kin
    Women are quick to betray you,
[01:48] Kin
    but men are supposed to have honor.
[01:52] Kin
    Aren't we frien—
[01:53] Zura
    We're friends.
[01:54] Mada
    No doubt about it.
[01:56] Zura
    Kintoki, I once made a
    promise with a friend.
[02:00] Zura
    Never change.
[02:03] Gin
    If you ever change, I'll
    be there to cut you down.
[02:07] Mada
    Kin-san, a buddy of mine
    used to smack me around.
[02:11] Gin
    Fool! Don't blame everything
    on your sunglasses!
[02:15] Mada
    That's who we are.
[02:17] Zura
    When we believe you're
    taking the right path,
[02:21] ---
    we stick with you,
    no matter how hard it is.
[02:24] Mada
    But if you're taking the wrong path,
[02:27] ---
    we'll stop you, even if it turns
    the whole world against us.
[02:32] Zura
    That friend is...
[02:33] Mada
    That man is...
[02:35] Kyu
    That idiot is...
[02:36] Tsu
    That lazy ass is...
[02:38] Sa
    That sadist is...
[02:43] All
    Our friend, Sakata Gintoki.
[02:49] Tojo
    Huh?
[02:50] Tojo
    I-I kind of went with the flow,
    but I can't remember a thing.
[02:53] Gin
    Y-You guys are...
SIGN    Middle School Class Reunion
[02:58] Zura
    Yo, it's been forever.
    You been doing okay?
[03:01] Mada
    You still look like a
    loser. Have a drink.
[03:04] Gin
    ...acting all friendly and mature
    at our class reunion as though
[03:08] ---
    you never shunned me
    when we were kids.
[03:11] ---
    Screw you!
[03:19] Gin
    Bastard!
[03:20] Kin
    Impressive, brother.
[03:22] Kin
    So this is the power of
    a bond forged through
[03:25] ---
    60 volumes of DVDs?
[03:27] Kin
    But it's no use.
[03:29] Kin
    You can try to win them back,
[03:31] Kin
    but I can undo your work
    with a wave of my hand.
[03:34] Kin
    Want to know why?
[03:36] Kin
    It's because the main
    character in this anime...
[03:39] All
    ...is Kin-san.
[03:43] Kin
    You thought I couldn't
    brainwash people anymore.
[03:46] Kin
    Tama threw away her life for nothing.
[03:49] Kin
    Come on, let's protect our town.
[03:53] Kin
    This sideshow continues to defy
[03:56] ---
    the main character and his friends.
[03:59] Kin
    Send him packing!
[04:06] Zura
    Go ahead and try!
[04:09] Zura
    But we hold inside us
[04:12] Zura
    ironclad memories of the
    battles we fought together!
[04:16] Zura
    A silver sword lies inside our souls!
[04:20] Gin
    If you think you can
    break those swords,
[04:24] Gin
    break them!
[04:26] Gin
    My hypnotism isn't working!
[04:30] Kin
    Crush them! Beat them down!
[04:32] Zura
    Go!
[04:33] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[04:36] Gin
    Yeah, I'll let you watch my back!
[04:40] Gin
    While...
[04:41] Both
    I handle being the main character!
[05:06] Kin
    I'll obliterate you.
[05:07] Kin
    Erase your memories, your
    friends, your very being...
[05:13] Gin
    You're the one who's
    getting obliterated.
[05:15] Gin
    Let's see if your memory
    bank is fried first,
[05:19] Gin
    or if my soul burns out first.
[05:23] Gin
    Let's finish this.
[05:26] Kin
    Whether gold or silver wins
    this battle for existence,
[05:29] ---
    you will be the one who disappears.
[05:32] Kin
    I installed a special program
    in myself that will activate
[05:36] ---
    when certain conditions are met.
[05:38] Kin
    This program will cause
    a hypnotic explosion
[05:40] ---
    that will blanket the
    entire Kabuki district
[05:43] Kin
    and reset everyone's memory.
[05:47] Kin
    There are two conditions.
[05:49] Kin
    The first is when my core is broken.
[05:52] Kin
    The second
[05:54] Kin
    is about to happen.
[05:58] Otae
    Shin-chan! Kagura-chan!
[06:00] Otae
    What are you doing here?!
[06:02] Otae
    Come on! Pull yourself together!
[06:05] Shin
    Sis...
[06:07] Shin
    We remembered everything.
[06:11] Shin
    Who Sakata Kintoki really is,
[06:14] Shin
    who Sakata Gintoki really is...
[06:18] Shin
    The person who altered our
    memories just restored them.
[06:22] Shin
    After that, we lost consciousness.
[06:25] Kag
    Boss lady, we did terrible
    things to Gin-chan.
[06:30] Kag
    How do we say we're sorry?
[06:33] Kag
    How can we make up?
[06:38] Otae
    Stand up, you two.
[06:41] Otae
    Let's go back to our leader.
[06:45] Kin
    The second is when the four people
[06:48] ---
    who started this all appear before me.
[06:55] Kin
    Understand?
[06:58] Kin
    If you defeat me or
    recover your friends,
[07:03] Kin
    everything will end.
[07:05] Kin
    That was my true objective.
[07:08] Kin
    You thought I wanted to take
    over this lousy anime?
[07:11] Kin
    Sorry, but I'm not going
[07:12] ---
    to be satisfied with
    your sloppy seconds.
[07:15] Kin
    I take everything from you
[07:17] ---
    and become the worst
    enemy you've ever faced.
[07:21] Kin
    But still, you're able to recover
    your friends singlehandedly
[07:25] ---
    and work together to defeat me.
[07:28] Kin
    Yes, that is what I was hoping
    to see in this final battle.
[07:34] Kin
    I wanted to give this
    show its last episode
[07:37] Kin
    so I could return as the main character
[07:39] ---
    of a show that was neither
    Gintama nor Kintama.
[07:44] Kin
    Sakata Gintoki, this anime returned
[07:49] Kin
    as a tombstone to mark an end
    to your pathetic existence,
[07:54] ---
    to this joke of an anime.
[07:57] Kin
    Well done.
[07:59] Kin
    You and your friends have
[08:02] ---
    made the atmosphere perfect
    for a final episode.
[08:06] Kin
    Don't worry about me.
[08:08] Kin
    I've backed up my data
    and prepared a new body.
[08:12] Kin
    Rest easy.
[08:14] Kin
    The finale will be very soon.
[08:18] Gin
    That's it?
[08:20] Gin
    Is that all you have to say?
[08:26] Gin
    Sorry, you took so long that I
    missed half of what you said.
[08:32] Kin
    Y-You'll pay for ignoring my warning!
[08:35] Kin
    If you kill me...
[08:36] Gin
    You're finished, right?
[08:41] Kin
    B-Bastard...
[08:44] Kin
    You think you can end this yourself?
[08:47] Kin
    Without recovering
    everything you've lost?
[08:55] Gin
    Nothing's going to end.
[09:00] Gin
    Except for
[09:03] Gin
    you and me, brother.
[09:06] Kin
    Seppuku?!
[09:07] Kin
    You'll lose more than your memories!
[09:09] Kin
    You're going to cripple yourself!
[09:11] Gin
    That's just fine.
[09:12] Gin
    Everyone else forgot about me.
[09:15] Gin
    It's my turn to forget.
[09:17] Kin
    Fool!
[09:18] Kin
    Have you forgotten that I've
    made a copy of myself?!
[09:22] Gin
    I have my own copies.
[09:26] Gin
    They don't listen to a word I say,
[09:29] ---
    but they share the same soul.
[09:32] Gin
    Listen up, Kintoki.
[09:34] Gin
    The main character in Gintama
[09:37] Gin
    is every last idiot alive in this show!
[09:46] Kag
    Gin-chan!
[09:50] Gin
    Can I hold him back by myself?!
[09:57] Gin
    Sorry, everyone.
[09:59] Gin
    You finally remembered me,
[10:02] ---
    but I doubt we'll be
    seeing each other again.
[10:04] Gin
    I was hoping to see your
    stupid faces one last ti—
[10:11] Shin
    Sorry, Gin-san. We kept you waiting.
[10:14] Kag
    We won't let you go off
    by yourself, Gin-chan.
[10:17] Kag
    We'll always be together.
[10:20] Otae
    Don't worry.
[10:22] ---
    We won't forget you this time.
[10:24] Otae
    If you forget about me, I'll punch you.
[10:30] Gin
    Fools...
[10:32] Gin
    Now that you're here, this
    anime is really going to end!
[10:36] Gin
    And it just started again!
[10:38] Shin
    That's not true.
[10:40] Shin
    You'll be there.
[10:41] Shin
    We'll all be there
[10:43] Shin
    to save the day.
[10:50] Kag
    So it doesn't matter how
    many times we forget,
[10:53] ---
    how many times we're separated.
[10:55] Kag
    Isn't that right, Gin-chan?
[10:59] Gin
    Yeah...
[11:02] Gin
    I'll find you.
[11:06] Gin
    We'll see each other again.
[11:45] Toki
    A sword isn't meant to be
    sheathed in underwear.
[11:49] Toki
    It belongs in a scabbard.
[11:52] Toki
    I don't think I can be
    your scabbard anymore,
[11:56] Toki
    but I'm sure there's a girl out there
[11:59] ---
    who's worthy of being your scabbard,
[12:01] Toki
    so you must find her
    so you can be happy.
[12:04] Kin
    I don't wanna.
[12:05] Kin
    I want Tokiko-chan.
[12:08] Toki
    Geez, you're so stupid.
[12:12] Toki
    Will you make me a promise then?
[12:15] Toki
    If I'm reincarnated,
    I'll find you again.
[12:20] Toki
    So promise you'll also find me.
[12:24] Kin
    Uh-huh, I promise.
[12:27] Kin
    I'll find my precious scabbard.
SIGN    Mantama
SIGN    aren't cute at all.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    Oedo Expendables
    Matsuo & Kiyo Drugstore
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Gold and silver
SIGN    The new show Mantama
SIGN    begins now.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    
    
    Andromeda Sweets Shop
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Episode 1: A Man's Sword
[13:50] Kin
    Love Country.
SIGN    Be sure to watch Mantama in a well-lit room
    and sit some distance from the TV!
[13:53] Kin
    There was a time, long ago, when our
[13:55] ---
    country was called by that name.
SIGN    20 Years Ago
[13:57] Kin
    Twenty years ago, a mysterious
    building appeared out of nowhere
[14:03] Kin
    and spread a mysterious virus
[14:06] Kin
    that caused every man's
    pride to rot and fall off.
[14:11] Kin
    Where men and women once talked of love,
[14:14] Kin
    we now had trannies and women bitching.
[14:17] Kin
    Where men and women once spoke of love...
[14:20] A
    Fantabulosa!
[14:21] Kin
    ...was all that remained.
[14:23] Kin
    However, there was one last samurai
    with a resistance to the virus,
[14:27] ---
    whose sword of steel remained strong.
[14:30] Kin
    Sakata Kintoki.
[14:32] Kin
    Yes, he was the last hope for mankind.
[14:36] Kin
    The man who had the right to
    claim every woman on the planet,
[14:40] Kin
    but instead continued to search
    for a single scabbard.
[14:42] Kin
    That man was me.
[14:44] A
    Good morning, Sakata-kun!
[14:45] A
    Let's go to school together!
[14:47] B
    I made an extra lunch today.
[14:49] B
    Would you like it?
[14:50] C
    Sakata-kun promised to
    have lunch with me!
[14:54] D
    What are you talking about?
    He promised me, too.
[14:56] Kin
    Sorry, but I don't remember making
[14:58] ---
    any promises to you girls.
[15:00] Kin
    My promise is to someone else.
[15:02] Kin
    A promise that was made
    long before you were born.
[15:06] B
    Huh? What does that mean?
[15:09] Kin
    How much time has passed
[15:11] ---
    since I started looking for you?
[15:14] Kin
    To keep my promise to you,
[15:16] ---
    I changed my sword, my body, into metal,
[15:19] Kin
    so I could remain a man, even
    if I was no longer human.
[15:23] Kin
    Eventually, the human race will
    die and I'll be left alone.
[15:28] Kin
    But my sword will never break.
[15:31] Kin
    Even if you're reincarnated
    as a cockroach,
[15:33] Kin
    you will still be my precious partner.
[15:36] Toki
    Oh no!
[15:37] Toki
    I'm late on my first day
    at my new school!
SIGN    Wham!
[15:42] All
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[15:44] Kin
    Ow...
[15:46] Toki
    Ouch.
[15:48] Toki
    Oops, I screwed up!
[15:53] Kin
    Could it be...
[15:53] Toki
    I'm sorry. Are you hurt?
[15:54] Kin
    Is it truly...
[15:56] Kin
    ...her reincarnation?
[15:59] Toki
    Um, excuse me.
[16:03] Toki
    That's my plastic bottle.
[16:06] Kin
    Sh-Shit!
[16:08] B
    A plastic bottle is stuck on
[16:10] ---
    the only sword left in the entire world!
[16:13] Gor
    What's all this fuss about?
[16:15] C
    Ms. Goriko!
[16:16] C
    It's terrible!
[16:18] C
    Look at Sakata-kun's crotch!
[16:20] Gor
    This is...
[16:21] Gor
    Don't touch it!
[16:22] Gor
    If the main character of
    this anime loses his crotch,
[16:25] ---
    his only unique feature,
[16:27] Gor
    Sakata-kun will no longer be
[16:28] ---
    qualified to be the main character!
[16:29] Kin
    Teach!
[16:30] ---
    Don't make it sound like my
    crotch is all there is to me!
[16:33] Gor
    For now, let's carefully carry
    him to the nurse's office.
[16:36] Gor
    Here we go!
[16:38] A
    Teach! Could you be any less careful?!
[16:41] B
    Look out! There's a
    ball coming your way!
[16:45] E
    Teach! Please go to
    the nurse's office!
[16:48] E
    Thanks, Teach!
[16:49] Kin
    Hold on!
[16:51] Kin
    You've got two balls and
    a bat in your mitt now!
[16:54] ---
    Okay, here I go!
[16:55] Kin
    Wait!
[16:56] Kin
    Those are my balls and bat!
[16:58] E
    Kick off!
[16:59] Kin
    Aren't you playing baseball?!
[17:02] Kin
    She hit the school!
[17:04] Kin
    My sword!
[17:06] F
    What's going on?
[17:08] F
    This came flying into the art room.
[17:11] Kin
    Is it okay?!
[17:12] F
    Yes, there was a broken
    screw in the bottle,
[17:16] ---
    so I repaired it.
[17:17] Kin
    Bon voyage!
[17:20] A
    Sakata-kun's crotch
    has gone bon voyage!
[17:25] Gor
    Okay, let's take attendance!
[17:28] Kin
    It's over...
[17:30] Kin
    I finally found someone who
    appeared to be her reincarnation,
[17:34] Kin
    but my scabbard is a plastic bottle,
[17:36] Kin
    and my sword has set
    sail for a new world.
[17:40] Kin
    I can no longer...
[17:44] Toki
    Excuse me!
[17:45] Gor
    Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[17:47] Gor
    You're late on your first day.
[17:48] Toki
    I-I'm sorry.
[17:54] Toki
    Nice to meet you.
[17:55] Toki
    I'm a new transfer student.
[17:58] Toki
    Sorry about being late.
[18:00] Toki
    I was looking for something.
[18:04] Toki
    It took forever,
[18:05] Toki
    but I was finally able to find it.
[18:10] Toki
    Find you...
[18:14] Toki
    Sorry it took so long.
[18:21] Kin
    Tokiko-chan!
[18:26] Toki
    You don't need to cry.
[18:28] Toki
    Didn't we promise
[18:32] Gin
    that we would meet again?
SIGN    Sakata Gintoki
[18:36] Gin
    Let's start over.
[18:38] Gin
    I'm the new transfer
    student, Sakata Gintoki.
[18:43] Gin
    Hey, what's with the look on your face?
[18:45] Gin
    Did you forget the promise we made?
[18:49] Shin
    Of course not.
[18:51] Shin
    It doesn't matter how
    many times we forget...
[18:53] Kag
    How many times we're separated.
[18:55] Otae
    We'll find you.
[18:59] All
    Right, Gin-san?
[19:02] Gin
    There you go, brother.
[19:05] Gin
    Sorry to ruin your main
    character gig, but Mantama
[19:09] Gin
    was created to be your tombstone.
[19:24] Tama
    Did you enjoy your brief
    experience as a main character?
[19:28] Tama
    Did you enjoy having
    everything important
[19:31] ---
    to you taken away?
[19:33] Tama
    That's what you were doing.
[19:36] Kin
    I see...
[19:37] ---
    So that world was a virtual
    one that you created.
[19:41] Gen
    When I was repairing you,
    I added a few safety measures.
[19:46] Kin
    That's why they still
    have their memories
[19:48] ---
    after being hit by the
    hypnotic explosion?
[19:51] Gen
    Heh, they didn't need my help.
[19:55] Gen
    Kintoki, the bond people share
[19:58] Gen
    goes deeper than the memory.
[20:04] Gin
    Tama, I've settled my score with him.
[20:08] Gin
    He's all yours now.
[20:10] Gin
    Boil him, fry him,
    do whatever you want.
[20:13] Shin
    Please wait, Tama-san!
[20:15] Kag
    Can you spare him?!
[20:18] Shin
    We were the ones who
    asked you to make him!
[20:21] Kag
    He was just trying to take
    Gin-chan's place as our leader!
[20:24] Kag
    He just went too far!
[20:27] Shin
    We'll join him in begging
    everyone for forgiveness!
[20:31] Shin
    Please!
[20:33] Tama
    Did you hear that?
[20:36] Kin
    You people are too soft.
[20:38] Kin
    Gintoki, this is the reality
    of what you've achieved.
[20:42] Kin
    See how your friends are too
    weak to finish off your enemy.
[20:46] Kin
    See how you were too powerless
    to do anything alone.
[20:51] Kin
    Your imperfect character was
[20:53] ---
    destined to fail, even
    without my intervention.
[20:56] Gin
    You're absolutely right.
[20:58] Gin
    I can't do anything alone.
[21:01] Gin
    Everyone here has their
    flaws and imperfections.
[21:04] Gin
    But that's what drives
    us to work together
[21:07] ---
    to make up for those flaws.
[21:10] Gin
    Together, we make the
    perfect main character.
[21:14] Gin
    If you don't believe me,
    you can come back.
[21:17] Gin
    We'll take you on again.
[21:19] Gin
    See ya, imperfect plastic model.
[21:22] Kin
    Wait! Did you say I was imperfect?!
[21:24] Kin
    Take that back!
[21:26] Tama
    No, you are certainly imperfect.
[21:31] Tama
    You were so focused on altering
    other people's memories,
[21:36] Tama
    you didn't realize that other
    people were altering your soul.
[21:41] Tama
    You should treasure the
    life your friends spared.
[21:50] Kin
    Gramps...
[21:52] Kin
    Can you polish me up?
[21:55] Gen
    No idea. I can start by
    making you shiny gold.
[22:00] Gen
    No, shiny gold won't do.
[22:03] Sa
    Gin-san!
SIGN    Gintama
[22:08] All
    Welcome back!
[22:11] Gen
    Let's try making you
SIGN    Gintama Episode 256
[22:14] ---
    shiny silver.
SIGN    We're Back

256 - Gintama Classic - Whenever I Hear Leviathan, I Think of Sazae-san. Stupid Me!!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    The Meaning of a Main Character
[00:04] Tojo
    Lady?
[00:05] A
    Boss?
[00:06] B
    Sarutobi-dono?
[00:08] Kin
    You're siding with him?
[00:11] Kin
    You're going to betray
    your friends, betray me,
[00:14] Kin
    for a man who attacked your friends?
[00:21] Gin
    What do you think you're doing?
[00:23] Gin
    If you do this...
SIGN    Field Trip Groups
SIGN    Boys
SIGN    Sakata
[00:26] Sa
    Stop it, boys!
[00:28] Sa
    Let Sakata-kun join in!
[00:30] Kyu
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[00:32] Sa
    Teacher, can we let
    Sakata-kun join our group?
[00:36] Gin
    ...I'll feel like that pathetic
    left-out boy who
[00:39] ---
    ends up in a group of girls
    out of sympathy!
[00:43] Kyu
    Kintoki, we trusted you.
[00:46] Kyu
    That's why we're here.
[00:48] Tsu
    So trust us.
[00:50] Tsu
    This man isn't what you think he is.
[00:53] Sa
    The Kin-san I know would back off.
[00:58] All
    If you consider us friends...
[01:04] Kin
    I see.
[01:05] Kin
    I suppose you're representing
    the Yagyu and Hyakka.
[01:11] Kin
    Get out of this town
[01:14] Kin
    with Gintoki.
[01:16] Tojo
    Kintoki-dono?!
[01:17] Kin
    If you're taking that man's side,
[01:20] Kin
    you're an enemy of this town,
[01:21] ---
    an enemy of the Kabuki district!
[01:25] Kyu
    I see.
[01:26] Kyu
    Is that your answer?
[01:39] Zura
    In that case...
[01:39] Both
    We also have our answer.
[01:43] Kin
    What do you think you're doing?
[01:46] Kin
    Women are quick to betray you,
[01:48] Kin
    but men are supposed to have honor.
[01:52] Kin
    Aren't we frien—
[01:53] Zura
    We're friends.
[01:54] Mada
    No doubt about it.
[01:56] Zura
    Kintoki, I once made a
    promise with a friend.
[02:00] Zura
    Never change.
[02:03] Gin
    If you ever change, I'll
    be there to cut you down.
[02:07] Mada
    Kin-san, a buddy of mine
    used to smack me around.
[02:11] Gin
    Fool! Don't blame everything
    on your sunglasses!
[02:15] Mada
    That's who we are.
[02:17] Zura
    When we believe you're
    taking the right path,
[02:21] ---
    we stick with you,
    no matter how hard it is.
[02:24] Mada
    But if you're taking the wrong path,
[02:27] ---
    we'll stop you, even if it turns
    the whole world against us.
[02:32] Zura
    That friend is...
[02:33] Mada
    That man is...
[02:35] Kyu
    That idiot is...
[02:36] Tsu
    That lazy ass is...
[02:38] Sa
    That sadist is...
[02:43] All
    Our friend, Sakata Gintoki.
[02:49] Tojo
    Huh?
[02:50] Tojo
    I-I kind of went with the flow,
    but I can't remember a thing.
[02:53] Gin
    Y-You guys are...
SIGN    Middle School Class Reunion
[02:58] Zura
    Yo, it's been forever.
    You been doing okay?
[03:01] Mada
    You still look like a
    loser. Have a drink.
[03:04] Gin
    ...acting all friendly and mature
    at our class reunion as though
[03:08] ---
    you never shunned me
    when we were kids.
[03:11] ---
    Screw you!
[03:19] Gin
    Bastard!
[03:20] Kin
    Impressive, brother.
[03:22] Kin
    So this is the power of
    a bond forged through
[03:25] ---
    60 volumes of DVDs?
[03:27] Kin
    But it's no use.
[03:29] Kin
    You can try to win them back,
[03:31] Kin
    but I can undo your work
    with a wave of my hand.
[03:34] Kin
    Want to know why?
[03:36] Kin
    It's because the main
    character in this anime...
[03:39] All
    ...is Kin-san.
[03:43] Kin
    You thought I couldn't
    brainwash people anymore.
[03:46] Kin
    Tama threw away her life for nothing.
[03:49] Kin
    Come on, let's protect our town.
[03:53] Kin
    This sideshow continues to defy
[03:56] ---
    the main character and his friends.
[03:59] Kin
    Send him packing!
[04:06] Zura
    Go ahead and try!
[04:09] Zura
    But we hold inside us
[04:12] Zura
    ironclad memories of the
    battles we fought together!
[04:16] Zura
    A silver sword lies inside our souls!
[04:20] Gin
    If you think you can
    break those swords,
[04:24] Gin
    break them!
[04:26] Gin
    My hypnotism isn't working!
[04:30] Kin
    Crush them! Beat them down!
[04:32] Zura
    Go!
[04:33] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[04:36] Gin
    Yeah, I'll let you watch my back!
[04:40] Gin
    While...
[04:41] Both
    I handle being the main character!
[05:06] Kin
    I'll obliterate you.
[05:07] Kin
    Erase your memories, your
    friends, your very being...
[05:13] Gin
    You're the one who's
    getting obliterated.
[05:15] Gin
    Let's see if your memory
    bank is fried first,
[05:19] Gin
    or if my soul burns out first.
[05:23] Gin
    Let's finish this.
[05:26] Kin
    Whether gold or silver wins
    this battle for existence,
[05:29] ---
    you will be the one who disappears.
[05:32] Kin
    I installed a special program
    in myself that will activate
[05:36] ---
    when certain conditions are met.
[05:38] Kin
    This program will cause
    a hypnotic explosion
[05:40] ---
    that will blanket the
    entire Kabuki district
[05:43] Kin
    and reset everyone's memory.
[05:47] Kin
    There are two conditions.
[05:49] Kin
    The first is when my core is broken.
[05:52] Kin
    The second
[05:54] Kin
    is about to happen.
[05:58] Otae
    Shin-chan! Kagura-chan!
[06:00] Otae
    What are you doing here?!
[06:02] Otae
    Come on! Pull yourself together!
[06:05] Shin
    Sis...
[06:07] Shin
    We remembered everything.
[06:11] Shin
    Who Sakata Kintoki really is,
[06:14] Shin
    who Sakata Gintoki really is...
[06:18] Shin
    The person who altered our
    memories just restored them.
[06:22] Shin
    After that, we lost consciousness.
[06:25] Kag
    Boss lady, we did terrible
    things to Gin-chan.
[06:30] Kag
    How do we say we're sorry?
[06:33] Kag
    How can we make up?
[06:38] Otae
    Stand up, you two.
[06:41] Otae
    Let's go back to our leader.
[06:45] Kin
    The second is when the four people
[06:48] ---
    who started this all appear before me.
[06:55] Kin
    Understand?
[06:58] Kin
    If you defeat me or
    recover your friends,
[07:03] Kin
    everything will end.
[07:05] Kin
    That was my true objective.
[07:08] Kin
    You thought I wanted to take
    over this lousy anime?
[07:11] Kin
    Sorry, but I'm not going
[07:12] ---
    to be satisfied with
    your sloppy seconds.
[07:15] Kin
    I take everything from you
[07:17] ---
    and become the worst
    enemy you've ever faced.
[07:21] Kin
    But still, you're able to recover
    your friends singlehandedly
[07:25] ---
    and work together to defeat me.
[07:28] Kin
    Yes, that is what I was hoping
    to see in this final battle.
[07:34] Kin
    I wanted to give this
    show its last episode
[07:37] Kin
    so I could return as the main character
[07:39] ---
    of a show that was neither
    Gintama nor Kintama.
[07:44] Kin
    Sakata Gintoki, this anime returned
[07:49] Kin
    as a tombstone to mark an end
    to your pathetic existence,
[07:54] ---
    to this joke of an anime.
[07:57] Kin
    Well done.
[07:59] Kin
    You and your friends have
[08:02] ---
    made the atmosphere perfect
    for a final episode.
[08:06] Kin
    Don't worry about me.
[08:08] Kin
    I've backed up my data
    and prepared a new body.
[08:12] Kin
    Rest easy.
[08:14] Kin
    The finale will be very soon.
[08:18] Gin
    That's it?
[08:20] Gin
    Is that all you have to say?
[08:26] Gin
    Sorry, you took so long that I
    missed half of what you said.
[08:32] Kin
    Y-You'll pay for ignoring my warning!
[08:35] Kin
    If you kill me...
[08:36] Gin
    You're finished, right?
[08:41] Kin
    B-Bastard...
[08:44] Kin
    You think you can end this yourself?
[08:47] Kin
    Without recovering
    everything you've lost?
[08:55] Gin
    Nothing's going to end.
[09:00] Gin
    Except for
[09:03] Gin
    you and me, brother.
[09:06] Kin
    Seppuku?!
[09:07] Kin
    You'll lose more than your memories!
[09:09] Kin
    You're going to cripple yourself!
[09:11] Gin
    That's just fine.
[09:12] Gin
    Everyone else forgot about me.
[09:15] Gin
    It's my turn to forget.
[09:17] Kin
    Fool!
[09:18] Kin
    Have you forgotten that I've
    made a copy of myself?!
[09:22] Gin
    I have my own copies.
[09:26] Gin
    They don't listen to a word I say,
[09:29] ---
    but they share the same soul.
[09:32] Gin
    Listen up, Kintoki.
[09:34] Gin
    The main character in Gintama
[09:37] Gin
    is every last idiot alive in this show!
[09:46] Kag
    Gin-chan!
[09:50] Gin
    Can I hold him back by myself?!
[09:57] Gin
    Sorry, everyone.
[09:59] Gin
    You finally remembered me,
[10:02] ---
    but I doubt we'll be
    seeing each other again.
[10:04] Gin
    I was hoping to see your
    stupid faces one last ti—
[10:11] Shin
    Sorry, Gin-san. We kept you waiting.
[10:14] Kag
    We won't let you go off
    by yourself, Gin-chan.
[10:17] Kag
    We'll always be together.
[10:20] Otae
    Don't worry.
[10:22] ---
    We won't forget you this time.
[10:24] Otae
    If you forget about me, I'll punch you.
[10:30] Gin
    Fools...
[10:32] Gin
    Now that you're here, this
    anime is really going to end!
[10:36] Gin
    And it just started again!
[10:38] Shin
    That's not true.
[10:40] Shin
    You'll be there.
[10:41] Shin
    We'll all be there
[10:43] Shin
    to save the day.
[10:50] Kag
    So it doesn't matter how
    many times we forget,
[10:53] ---
    how many times we're separated.
[10:55] Kag
    Isn't that right, Gin-chan?
[10:59] Gin
    Yeah...
[11:02] Gin
    I'll find you.
[11:06] Gin
    We'll see each other again.
[11:45] Toki
    A sword isn't meant to be
    sheathed in underwear.
[11:49] Toki
    It belongs in a scabbard.
[11:52] Toki
    I don't think I can be
    your scabbard anymore,
[11:56] Toki
    but I'm sure there's a girl out there
[11:59] ---
    who's worthy of being your scabbard,
[12:01] Toki
    so you must find her
    so you can be happy.
[12:04] Kin
    I don't wanna.
[12:05] Kin
    I want Tokiko-chan.
[12:08] Toki
    Geez, you're so stupid.
[12:12] Toki
    Will you make me a promise then?
[12:15] Toki
    If I'm reincarnated,
    I'll find you again.
[12:20] Toki
    So promise you'll also find me.
[12:24] Kin
    Uh-huh, I promise.
[12:27] Kin
    I'll find my precious scabbard.
SIGN    Mantama
SIGN    aren't cute at all.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    Oedo Expendables
    Matsuo & Kiyo Drugstore
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Gold and silver
SIGN    The new show Mantama
SIGN    begins now.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    
    
    Andromeda Sweets Shop
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Episode 1: A Man's Sword
[13:50] Kin
    Love Country.
SIGN    Be sure to watch Mantama in a well-lit room
    and sit some distance from the TV!
[13:53] Kin
    There was a time, long ago, when our
[13:55] ---
    country was called by that name.
SIGN    20 Years Ago
[13:57] Kin
    Twenty years ago, a mysterious
    building appeared out of nowhere
[14:03] Kin
    and spread a mysterious virus
[14:06] Kin
    that caused every man's
    pride to rot and fall off.
[14:11] Kin
    Where men and women once talked of love,
[14:14] Kin
    we now had trannies and women bitching.
[14:17] Kin
    Where men and women once spoke of love...
[14:20] A
    Fantabulosa!
[14:21] Kin
    ...was all that remained.
[14:23] Kin
    However, there was one last samurai
    with a resistance to the virus,
[14:27] ---
    whose sword of steel remained strong.
[14:30] Kin
    Sakata Kintoki.
[14:32] Kin
    Yes, he was the last hope for mankind.
[14:36] Kin
    The man who had the right to
    claim every woman on the planet,
[14:40] Kin
    but instead continued to search
    for a single scabbard.
[14:42] Kin
    That man was me.
[14:44] A
    Good morning, Sakata-kun!
[14:45] A
    Let's go to school together!
[14:47] B
    I made an extra lunch today.
[14:49] B
    Would you like it?
[14:50] C
    Sakata-kun promised to
    have lunch with me!
[14:54] D
    What are you talking about?
    He promised me, too.
[14:56] Kin
    Sorry, but I don't remember making
[14:58] ---
    any promises to you girls.
[15:00] Kin
    My promise is to someone else.
[15:02] Kin
    A promise that was made
    long before you were born.
[15:06] B
    Huh? What does that mean?
[15:09] Kin
    How much time has passed
[15:11] ---
    since I started looking for you?
[15:14] Kin
    To keep my promise to you,
[15:16] ---
    I changed my sword, my body, into metal,
[15:19] Kin
    so I could remain a man, even
    if I was no longer human.
[15:23] Kin
    Eventually, the human race will
    die and I'll be left alone.
[15:28] Kin
    But my sword will never break.
[15:31] Kin
    Even if you're reincarnated
    as a cockroach,
[15:33] Kin
    you will still be my precious partner.
[15:36] Toki
    Oh no!
[15:37] Toki
    I'm late on my first day
    at my new school!
SIGN    Wham!
[15:42] All
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[15:44] Kin
    Ow...
[15:46] Toki
    Ouch.
[15:48] Toki
    Oops, I screwed up!
[15:53] Kin
    Could it be...
[15:53] Toki
    I'm sorry. Are you hurt?
[15:54] Kin
    Is it truly...
[15:56] Kin
    ...her reincarnation?
[15:59] Toki
    Um, excuse me.
[16:03] Toki
    That's my plastic bottle.
[16:06] Kin
    Sh-Shit!
[16:08] B
    A plastic bottle is stuck on
[16:10] ---
    the only sword left in the entire world!
[16:13] Gor
    What's all this fuss about?
[16:15] C
    Ms. Goriko!
[16:16] C
    It's terrible!
[16:18] C
    Look at Sakata-kun's crotch!
[16:20] Gor
    This is...
[16:21] Gor
    Don't touch it!
[16:22] Gor
    If the main character of
    this anime loses his crotch,
[16:25] ---
    his only unique feature,
[16:27] Gor
    Sakata-kun will no longer be
[16:28] ---
    qualified to be the main character!
[16:29] Kin
    Teach!
[16:30] ---
    Don't make it sound like my
    crotch is all there is to me!
[16:33] Gor
    For now, let's carefully carry
    him to the nurse's office.
[16:36] Gor
    Here we go!
[16:38] A
    Teach! Could you be any less careful?!
[16:41] B
    Look out! There's a
    ball coming your way!
[16:45] E
    Teach! Please go to
    the nurse's office!
[16:48] E
    Thanks, Teach!
[16:49] Kin
    Hold on!
[16:51] Kin
    You've got two balls and
    a bat in your mitt now!
[16:54] ---
    Okay, here I go!
[16:55] Kin
    Wait!
[16:56] Kin
    Those are my balls and bat!
[16:58] E
    Kick off!
[16:59] Kin
    Aren't you playing baseball?!
[17:02] Kin
    She hit the school!
[17:04] Kin
    My sword!
[17:06] F
    What's going on?
[17:08] F
    This came flying into the art room.
[17:11] Kin
    Is it okay?!
[17:12] F
    Yes, there was a broken
    screw in the bottle,
[17:16] ---
    so I repaired it.
[17:17] Kin
    Bon voyage!
[17:20] A
    Sakata-kun's crotch
    has gone bon voyage!
[17:25] Gor
    Okay, let's take attendance!
[17:28] Kin
    It's over...
[17:30] Kin
    I finally found someone who
    appeared to be her reincarnation,
[17:34] Kin
    but my scabbard is a plastic bottle,
[17:36] Kin
    and my sword has set
    sail for a new world.
[17:40] Kin
    I can no longer...
[17:44] Toki
    Excuse me!
[17:45] Gor
    Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[17:47] Gor
    You're late on your first day.
[17:48] Toki
    I-I'm sorry.
[17:54] Toki
    Nice to meet you.
[17:55] Toki
    I'm a new transfer student.
[17:58] Toki
    Sorry about being late.
[18:00] Toki
    I was looking for something.
[18:04] Toki
    It took forever,
[18:05] Toki
    but I was finally able to find it.
[18:10] Toki
    Find you...
[18:14] Toki
    Sorry it took so long.
[18:21] Kin
    Tokiko-chan!
[18:26] Toki
    You don't need to cry.
[18:28] Toki
    Didn't we promise
[18:32] Gin
    that we would meet again?
SIGN    Sakata Gintoki
[18:36] Gin
    Let's start over.
[18:38] Gin
    I'm the new transfer
    student, Sakata Gintoki.
[18:43] Gin
    Hey, what's with the look on your face?
[18:45] Gin
    Did you forget the promise we made?
[18:49] Shin
    Of course not.
[18:51] Shin
    It doesn't matter how
    many times we forget...
[18:53] Kag
    How many times we're separated.
[18:55] Otae
    We'll find you.
[18:59] All
    Right, Gin-san?
[19:02] Gin
    There you go, brother.
[19:05] Gin
    Sorry to ruin your main
    character gig, but Mantama
[19:09] Gin
    was created to be your tombstone.
[19:24] Tama
    Did you enjoy your brief
    experience as a main character?
[19:28] Tama
    Did you enjoy having
    everything important
[19:31] ---
    to you taken away?
[19:33] Tama
    That's what you were doing.
[19:36] Kin
    I see...
[19:37] ---
    So that world was a virtual
    one that you created.
[19:41] Gen
    When I was repairing you,
    I added a few safety measures.
[19:46] Kin
    That's why they still
    have their memories
[19:48] ---
    after being hit by the
    hypnotic explosion?
[19:51] Gen
    Heh, they didn't need my help.
[19:55] Gen
    Kintoki, the bond people share
[19:58] Gen
    goes deeper than the memory.
[20:04] Gin
    Tama, I've settled my score with him.
[20:08] Gin
    He's all yours now.
[20:10] Gin
    Boil him, fry him,
    do whatever you want.
[20:13] Shin
    Please wait, Tama-san!
[20:15] Kag
    Can you spare him?!
[20:18] Shin
    We were the ones who
    asked you to make him!
[20:21] Kag
    He was just trying to take
    Gin-chan's place as our leader!
[20:24] Kag
    He just went too far!
[20:27] Shin
    We'll join him in begging
    everyone for forgiveness!
[20:31] Shin
    Please!
[20:33] Tama
    Did you hear that?
[20:36] Kin
    You people are too soft.
[20:38] Kin
    Gintoki, this is the reality
    of what you've achieved.
[20:42] Kin
    See how your friends are too
    weak to finish off your enemy.
[20:46] Kin
    See how you were too powerless
    to do anything alone.
[20:51] Kin
    Your imperfect character was
[20:53] ---
    destined to fail, even
    without my intervention.
[20:56] Gin
    You're absolutely right.
[20:58] Gin
    I can't do anything alone.
[21:01] Gin
    Everyone here has their
    flaws and imperfections.
[21:04] Gin
    But that's what drives
    us to work together
[21:07] ---
    to make up for those flaws.
[21:10] Gin
    Together, we make the
    perfect main character.
[21:14] Gin
    If you don't believe me,
    you can come back.
[21:17] Gin
    We'll take you on again.
[21:19] Gin
    See ya, imperfect plastic model.
[21:22] Kin
    Wait! Did you say I was imperfect?!
[21:24] Kin
    Take that back!
[21:26] Tama
    No, you are certainly imperfect.
[21:31] Tama
    You were so focused on altering
    other people's memories,
[21:36] Tama
    you didn't realize that other
    people were altering your soul.
[21:41] Tama
    You should treasure the
    life your friends spared.
[21:50] Kin
    Gramps...
[21:52] Kin
    Can you polish me up?
[21:55] Gen
    No idea. I can start by
    making you shiny gold.
[22:00] Gen
    No, shiny gold won't do.
[22:03] Sa
    Gin-san!
SIGN    Gintama
[22:08] All
    Welcome back!
[22:11] Gen
    Let's try making you
SIGN    Gintama Episode 256
[22:14] ---
    shiny silver.
SIGN    We're Back

256 - Gintama Classic - No Matter How Old You Get, You Still Hate the Dentist

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    The Meaning of a Main Character
[00:04] Tojo
    Lady?
[00:05] A
    Boss?
[00:06] B
    Sarutobi-dono?
[00:08] Kin
    You're siding with him?
[00:11] Kin
    You're going to betray
    your friends, betray me,
[00:14] Kin
    for a man who attacked your friends?
[00:21] Gin
    What do you think you're doing?
[00:23] Gin
    If you do this...
SIGN    Field Trip Groups
SIGN    Boys
SIGN    Sakata
[00:26] Sa
    Stop it, boys!
[00:28] Sa
    Let Sakata-kun join in!
[00:30] Kyu
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[00:32] Sa
    Teacher, can we let
    Sakata-kun join our group?
[00:36] Gin
    ...I'll feel like that pathetic
    left-out boy who
[00:39] ---
    ends up in a group of girls
    out of sympathy!
[00:43] Kyu
    Kintoki, we trusted you.
[00:46] Kyu
    That's why we're here.
[00:48] Tsu
    So trust us.
[00:50] Tsu
    This man isn't what you think he is.
[00:53] Sa
    The Kin-san I know would back off.
[00:58] All
    If you consider us friends...
[01:04] Kin
    I see.
[01:05] Kin
    I suppose you're representing
    the Yagyu and Hyakka.
[01:11] Kin
    Get out of this town
[01:14] Kin
    with Gintoki.
[01:16] Tojo
    Kintoki-dono?!
[01:17] Kin
    If you're taking that man's side,
[01:20] Kin
    you're an enemy of this town,
[01:21] ---
    an enemy of the Kabuki district!
[01:25] Kyu
    I see.
[01:26] Kyu
    Is that your answer?
[01:39] Zura
    In that case...
[01:39] Both
    We also have our answer.
[01:43] Kin
    What do you think you're doing?
[01:46] Kin
    Women are quick to betray you,
[01:48] Kin
    but men are supposed to have honor.
[01:52] Kin
    Aren't we frien—
[01:53] Zura
    We're friends.
[01:54] Mada
    No doubt about it.
[01:56] Zura
    Kintoki, I once made a
    promise with a friend.
[02:00] Zura
    Never change.
[02:03] Gin
    If you ever change, I'll
    be there to cut you down.
[02:07] Mada
    Kin-san, a buddy of mine
    used to smack me around.
[02:11] Gin
    Fool! Don't blame everything
    on your sunglasses!
[02:15] Mada
    That's who we are.
[02:17] Zura
    When we believe you're
    taking the right path,
[02:21] ---
    we stick with you,
    no matter how hard it is.
[02:24] Mada
    But if you're taking the wrong path,
[02:27] ---
    we'll stop you, even if it turns
    the whole world against us.
[02:32] Zura
    That friend is...
[02:33] Mada
    That man is...
[02:35] Kyu
    That idiot is...
[02:36] Tsu
    That lazy ass is...
[02:38] Sa
    That sadist is...
[02:43] All
    Our friend, Sakata Gintoki.
[02:49] Tojo
    Huh?
[02:50] Tojo
    I-I kind of went with the flow,
    but I can't remember a thing.
[02:53] Gin
    Y-You guys are...
SIGN    Middle School Class Reunion
[02:58] Zura
    Yo, it's been forever.
    You been doing okay?
[03:01] Mada
    You still look like a
    loser. Have a drink.
[03:04] Gin
    ...acting all friendly and mature
    at our class reunion as though
[03:08] ---
    you never shunned me
    when we were kids.
[03:11] ---
    Screw you!
[03:19] Gin
    Bastard!
[03:20] Kin
    Impressive, brother.
[03:22] Kin
    So this is the power of
    a bond forged through
[03:25] ---
    60 volumes of DVDs?
[03:27] Kin
    But it's no use.
[03:29] Kin
    You can try to win them back,
[03:31] Kin
    but I can undo your work
    with a wave of my hand.
[03:34] Kin
    Want to know why?
[03:36] Kin
    It's because the main
    character in this anime...
[03:39] All
    ...is Kin-san.
[03:43] Kin
    You thought I couldn't
    brainwash people anymore.
[03:46] Kin
    Tama threw away her life for nothing.
[03:49] Kin
    Come on, let's protect our town.
[03:53] Kin
    This sideshow continues to defy
[03:56] ---
    the main character and his friends.
[03:59] Kin
    Send him packing!
[04:06] Zura
    Go ahead and try!
[04:09] Zura
    But we hold inside us
[04:12] Zura
    ironclad memories of the
    battles we fought together!
[04:16] Zura
    A silver sword lies inside our souls!
[04:20] Gin
    If you think you can
    break those swords,
[04:24] Gin
    break them!
[04:26] Gin
    My hypnotism isn't working!
[04:30] Kin
    Crush them! Beat them down!
[04:32] Zura
    Go!
[04:33] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[04:36] Gin
    Yeah, I'll let you watch my back!
[04:40] Gin
    While...
[04:41] Both
    I handle being the main character!
[05:06] Kin
    I'll obliterate you.
[05:07] Kin
    Erase your memories, your
    friends, your very being...
[05:13] Gin
    You're the one who's
    getting obliterated.
[05:15] Gin
    Let's see if your memory
    bank is fried first,
[05:19] Gin
    or if my soul burns out first.
[05:23] Gin
    Let's finish this.
[05:26] Kin
    Whether gold or silver wins
    this battle for existence,
[05:29] ---
    you will be the one who disappears.
[05:32] Kin
    I installed a special program
    in myself that will activate
[05:36] ---
    when certain conditions are met.
[05:38] Kin
    This program will cause
    a hypnotic explosion
[05:40] ---
    that will blanket the
    entire Kabuki district
[05:43] Kin
    and reset everyone's memory.
[05:47] Kin
    There are two conditions.
[05:49] Kin
    The first is when my core is broken.
[05:52] Kin
    The second
[05:54] Kin
    is about to happen.
[05:58] Otae
    Shin-chan! Kagura-chan!
[06:00] Otae
    What are you doing here?!
[06:02] Otae
    Come on! Pull yourself together!
[06:05] Shin
    Sis...
[06:07] Shin
    We remembered everything.
[06:11] Shin
    Who Sakata Kintoki really is,
[06:14] Shin
    who Sakata Gintoki really is...
[06:18] Shin
    The person who altered our
    memories just restored them.
[06:22] Shin
    After that, we lost consciousness.
[06:25] Kag
    Boss lady, we did terrible
    things to Gin-chan.
[06:30] Kag
    How do we say we're sorry?
[06:33] Kag
    How can we make up?
[06:38] Otae
    Stand up, you two.
[06:41] Otae
    Let's go back to our leader.
[06:45] Kin
    The second is when the four people
[06:48] ---
    who started this all appear before me.
[06:55] Kin
    Understand?
[06:58] Kin
    If you defeat me or
    recover your friends,
[07:03] Kin
    everything will end.
[07:05] Kin
    That was my true objective.
[07:08] Kin
    You thought I wanted to take
    over this lousy anime?
[07:11] Kin
    Sorry, but I'm not going
[07:12] ---
    to be satisfied with
    your sloppy seconds.
[07:15] Kin
    I take everything from you
[07:17] ---
    and become the worst
    enemy you've ever faced.
[07:21] Kin
    But still, you're able to recover
    your friends singlehandedly
[07:25] ---
    and work together to defeat me.
[07:28] Kin
    Yes, that is what I was hoping
    to see in this final battle.
[07:34] Kin
    I wanted to give this
    show its last episode
[07:37] Kin
    so I could return as the main character
[07:39] ---
    of a show that was neither
    Gintama nor Kintama.
[07:44] Kin
    Sakata Gintoki, this anime returned
[07:49] Kin
    as a tombstone to mark an end
    to your pathetic existence,
[07:54] ---
    to this joke of an anime.
[07:57] Kin
    Well done.
[07:59] Kin
    You and your friends have
[08:02] ---
    made the atmosphere perfect
    for a final episode.
[08:06] Kin
    Don't worry about me.
[08:08] Kin
    I've backed up my data
    and prepared a new body.
[08:12] Kin
    Rest easy.
[08:14] Kin
    The finale will be very soon.
[08:18] Gin
    That's it?
[08:20] Gin
    Is that all you have to say?
[08:26] Gin
    Sorry, you took so long that I
    missed half of what you said.
[08:32] Kin
    Y-You'll pay for ignoring my warning!
[08:35] Kin
    If you kill me...
[08:36] Gin
    You're finished, right?
[08:41] Kin
    B-Bastard...
[08:44] Kin
    You think you can end this yourself?
[08:47] Kin
    Without recovering
    everything you've lost?
[08:55] Gin
    Nothing's going to end.
[09:00] Gin
    Except for
[09:03] Gin
    you and me, brother.
[09:06] Kin
    Seppuku?!
[09:07] Kin
    You'll lose more than your memories!
[09:09] Kin
    You're going to cripple yourself!
[09:11] Gin
    That's just fine.
[09:12] Gin
    Everyone else forgot about me.
[09:15] Gin
    It's my turn to forget.
[09:17] Kin
    Fool!
[09:18] Kin
    Have you forgotten that I've
    made a copy of myself?!
[09:22] Gin
    I have my own copies.
[09:26] Gin
    They don't listen to a word I say,
[09:29] ---
    but they share the same soul.
[09:32] Gin
    Listen up, Kintoki.
[09:34] Gin
    The main character in Gintama
[09:37] Gin
    is every last idiot alive in this show!
[09:46] Kag
    Gin-chan!
[09:50] Gin
    Can I hold him back by myself?!
[09:57] Gin
    Sorry, everyone.
[09:59] Gin
    You finally remembered me,
[10:02] ---
    but I doubt we'll be
    seeing each other again.
[10:04] Gin
    I was hoping to see your
    stupid faces one last ti—
[10:11] Shin
    Sorry, Gin-san. We kept you waiting.
[10:14] Kag
    We won't let you go off
    by yourself, Gin-chan.
[10:17] Kag
    We'll always be together.
[10:20] Otae
    Don't worry.
[10:22] ---
    We won't forget you this time.
[10:24] Otae
    If you forget about me, I'll punch you.
[10:30] Gin
    Fools...
[10:32] Gin
    Now that you're here, this
    anime is really going to end!
[10:36] Gin
    And it just started again!
[10:38] Shin
    That's not true.
[10:40] Shin
    You'll be there.
[10:41] Shin
    We'll all be there
[10:43] Shin
    to save the day.
[10:50] Kag
    So it doesn't matter how
    many times we forget,
[10:53] ---
    how many times we're separated.
[10:55] Kag
    Isn't that right, Gin-chan?
[10:59] Gin
    Yeah...
[11:02] Gin
    I'll find you.
[11:06] Gin
    We'll see each other again.
[11:45] Toki
    A sword isn't meant to be
    sheathed in underwear.
[11:49] Toki
    It belongs in a scabbard.
[11:52] Toki
    I don't think I can be
    your scabbard anymore,
[11:56] Toki
    but I'm sure there's a girl out there
[11:59] ---
    who's worthy of being your scabbard,
[12:01] Toki
    so you must find her
    so you can be happy.
[12:04] Kin
    I don't wanna.
[12:05] Kin
    I want Tokiko-chan.
[12:08] Toki
    Geez, you're so stupid.
[12:12] Toki
    Will you make me a promise then?
[12:15] Toki
    If I'm reincarnated,
    I'll find you again.
[12:20] Toki
    So promise you'll also find me.
[12:24] Kin
    Uh-huh, I promise.
[12:27] Kin
    I'll find my precious scabbard.
SIGN    Mantama
SIGN    aren't cute at all.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    Oedo Expendables
    Matsuo & Kiyo Drugstore
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Gold and silver
SIGN    The new show Mantama
SIGN    begins now.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    
    
    Andromeda Sweets Shop
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Episode 1: A Man's Sword
[13:50] Kin
    Love Country.
SIGN    Be sure to watch Mantama in a well-lit room
    and sit some distance from the TV!
[13:53] Kin
    There was a time, long ago, when our
[13:55] ---
    country was called by that name.
SIGN    20 Years Ago
[13:57] Kin
    Twenty years ago, a mysterious
    building appeared out of nowhere
[14:03] Kin
    and spread a mysterious virus
[14:06] Kin
    that caused every man's
    pride to rot and fall off.
[14:11] Kin
    Where men and women once talked of love,
[14:14] Kin
    we now had trannies and women bitching.
[14:17] Kin
    Where men and women once spoke of love...
[14:20] A
    Fantabulosa!
[14:21] Kin
    ...was all that remained.
[14:23] Kin
    However, there was one last samurai
    with a resistance to the virus,
[14:27] ---
    whose sword of steel remained strong.
[14:30] Kin
    Sakata Kintoki.
[14:32] Kin
    Yes, he was the last hope for mankind.
[14:36] Kin
    The man who had the right to
    claim every woman on the planet,
[14:40] Kin
    but instead continued to search
    for a single scabbard.
[14:42] Kin
    That man was me.
[14:44] A
    Good morning, Sakata-kun!
[14:45] A
    Let's go to school together!
[14:47] B
    I made an extra lunch today.
[14:49] B
    Would you like it?
[14:50] C
    Sakata-kun promised to
    have lunch with me!
[14:54] D
    What are you talking about?
    He promised me, too.
[14:56] Kin
    Sorry, but I don't remember making
[14:58] ---
    any promises to you girls.
[15:00] Kin
    My promise is to someone else.
[15:02] Kin
    A promise that was made
    long before you were born.
[15:06] B
    Huh? What does that mean?
[15:09] Kin
    How much time has passed
[15:11] ---
    since I started looking for you?
[15:14] Kin
    To keep my promise to you,
[15:16] ---
    I changed my sword, my body, into metal,
[15:19] Kin
    so I could remain a man, even
    if I was no longer human.
[15:23] Kin
    Eventually, the human race will
    die and I'll be left alone.
[15:28] Kin
    But my sword will never break.
[15:31] Kin
    Even if you're reincarnated
    as a cockroach,
[15:33] Kin
    you will still be my precious partner.
[15:36] Toki
    Oh no!
[15:37] Toki
    I'm late on my first day
    at my new school!
SIGN    Wham!
[15:42] All
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[15:44] Kin
    Ow...
[15:46] Toki
    Ouch.
[15:48] Toki
    Oops, I screwed up!
[15:53] Kin
    Could it be...
[15:53] Toki
    I'm sorry. Are you hurt?
[15:54] Kin
    Is it truly...
[15:56] Kin
    ...her reincarnation?
[15:59] Toki
    Um, excuse me.
[16:03] Toki
    That's my plastic bottle.
[16:06] Kin
    Sh-Shit!
[16:08] B
    A plastic bottle is stuck on
[16:10] ---
    the only sword left in the entire world!
[16:13] Gor
    What's all this fuss about?
[16:15] C
    Ms. Goriko!
[16:16] C
    It's terrible!
[16:18] C
    Look at Sakata-kun's crotch!
[16:20] Gor
    This is...
[16:21] Gor
    Don't touch it!
[16:22] Gor
    If the main character of
    this anime loses his crotch,
[16:25] ---
    his only unique feature,
[16:27] Gor
    Sakata-kun will no longer be
[16:28] ---
    qualified to be the main character!
[16:29] Kin
    Teach!
[16:30] ---
    Don't make it sound like my
    crotch is all there is to me!
[16:33] Gor
    For now, let's carefully carry
    him to the nurse's office.
[16:36] Gor
    Here we go!
[16:38] A
    Teach! Could you be any less careful?!
[16:41] B
    Look out! There's a
    ball coming your way!
[16:45] E
    Teach! Please go to
    the nurse's office!
[16:48] E
    Thanks, Teach!
[16:49] Kin
    Hold on!
[16:51] Kin
    You've got two balls and
    a bat in your mitt now!
[16:54] ---
    Okay, here I go!
[16:55] Kin
    Wait!
[16:56] Kin
    Those are my balls and bat!
[16:58] E
    Kick off!
[16:59] Kin
    Aren't you playing baseball?!
[17:02] Kin
    She hit the school!
[17:04] Kin
    My sword!
[17:06] F
    What's going on?
[17:08] F
    This came flying into the art room.
[17:11] Kin
    Is it okay?!
[17:12] F
    Yes, there was a broken
    screw in the bottle,
[17:16] ---
    so I repaired it.
[17:17] Kin
    Bon voyage!
[17:20] A
    Sakata-kun's crotch
    has gone bon voyage!
[17:25] Gor
    Okay, let's take attendance!
[17:28] Kin
    It's over...
[17:30] Kin
    I finally found someone who
    appeared to be her reincarnation,
[17:34] Kin
    but my scabbard is a plastic bottle,
[17:36] Kin
    and my sword has set
    sail for a new world.
[17:40] Kin
    I can no longer...
[17:44] Toki
    Excuse me!
[17:45] Gor
    Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[17:47] Gor
    You're late on your first day.
[17:48] Toki
    I-I'm sorry.
[17:54] Toki
    Nice to meet you.
[17:55] Toki
    I'm a new transfer student.
[17:58] Toki
    Sorry about being late.
[18:00] Toki
    I was looking for something.
[18:04] Toki
    It took forever,
[18:05] Toki
    but I was finally able to find it.
[18:10] Toki
    Find you...
[18:14] Toki
    Sorry it took so long.
[18:21] Kin
    Tokiko-chan!
[18:26] Toki
    You don't need to cry.
[18:28] Toki
    Didn't we promise
[18:32] Gin
    that we would meet again?
SIGN    Sakata Gintoki
[18:36] Gin
    Let's start over.
[18:38] Gin
    I'm the new transfer
    student, Sakata Gintoki.
[18:43] Gin
    Hey, what's with the look on your face?
[18:45] Gin
    Did you forget the promise we made?
[18:49] Shin
    Of course not.
[18:51] Shin
    It doesn't matter how
    many times we forget...
[18:53] Kag
    How many times we're separated.
[18:55] Otae
    We'll find you.
[18:59] All
    Right, Gin-san?
[19:02] Gin
    There you go, brother.
[19:05] Gin
    Sorry to ruin your main
    character gig, but Mantama
[19:09] Gin
    was created to be your tombstone.
[19:24] Tama
    Did you enjoy your brief
    experience as a main character?
[19:28] Tama
    Did you enjoy having
    everything important
[19:31] ---
    to you taken away?
[19:33] Tama
    That's what you were doing.
[19:36] Kin
    I see...
[19:37] ---
    So that world was a virtual
    one that you created.
[19:41] Gen
    When I was repairing you,
    I added a few safety measures.
[19:46] Kin
    That's why they still
    have their memories
[19:48] ---
    after being hit by the
    hypnotic explosion?
[19:51] Gen
    Heh, they didn't need my help.
[19:55] Gen
    Kintoki, the bond people share
[19:58] Gen
    goes deeper than the memory.
[20:04] Gin
    Tama, I've settled my score with him.
[20:08] Gin
    He's all yours now.
[20:10] Gin
    Boil him, fry him,
    do whatever you want.
[20:13] Shin
    Please wait, Tama-san!
[20:15] Kag
    Can you spare him?!
[20:18] Shin
    We were the ones who
    asked you to make him!
[20:21] Kag
    He was just trying to take
    Gin-chan's place as our leader!
[20:24] Kag
    He just went too far!
[20:27] Shin
    We'll join him in begging
    everyone for forgiveness!
[20:31] Shin
    Please!
[20:33] Tama
    Did you hear that?
[20:36] Kin
    You people are too soft.
[20:38] Kin
    Gintoki, this is the reality
    of what you've achieved.
[20:42] Kin
    See how your friends are too
    weak to finish off your enemy.
[20:46] Kin
    See how you were too powerless
    to do anything alone.
[20:51] Kin
    Your imperfect character was
[20:53] ---
    destined to fail, even
    without my intervention.
[20:56] Gin
    You're absolutely right.
[20:58] Gin
    I can't do anything alone.
[21:01] Gin
    Everyone here has their
    flaws and imperfections.
[21:04] Gin
    But that's what drives
    us to work together
[21:07] ---
    to make up for those flaws.
[21:10] Gin
    Together, we make the
    perfect main character.
[21:14] Gin
    If you don't believe me,
    you can come back.
[21:17] Gin
    We'll take you on again.
[21:19] Gin
    See ya, imperfect plastic model.
[21:22] Kin
    Wait! Did you say I was imperfect?!
[21:24] Kin
    Take that back!
[21:26] Tama
    No, you are certainly imperfect.
[21:31] Tama
    You were so focused on altering
    other people's memories,
[21:36] Tama
    you didn't realize that other
    people were altering your soul.
[21:41] Tama
    You should treasure the
    life your friends spared.
[21:50] Kin
    Gramps...
[21:52] Kin
    Can you polish me up?
[21:55] Gen
    No idea. I can start by
    making you shiny gold.
[22:00] Gen
    No, shiny gold won't do.
[22:03] Sa
    Gin-san!
SIGN    Gintama
[22:08] All
    Welcome back!
[22:11] Gen
    Let's try making you
SIGN    Gintama Episode 256
[22:14] ---
    shiny silver.
SIGN    We're Back

256 - Gintama Classic - Why Not Talk About the Old Days for a Change?

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    The Meaning of a Main Character
[00:04] Tojo
    Lady?
[00:05] A
    Boss?
[00:06] B
    Sarutobi-dono?
[00:08] Kin
    You're siding with him?
[00:11] Kin
    You're going to betray
    your friends, betray me,
[00:14] Kin
    for a man who attacked your friends?
[00:21] Gin
    What do you think you're doing?
[00:23] Gin
    If you do this...
SIGN    Field Trip Groups
SIGN    Boys
SIGN    Sakata
[00:26] Sa
    Stop it, boys!
[00:28] Sa
    Let Sakata-kun join in!
[00:30] Kyu
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[00:32] Sa
    Teacher, can we let
    Sakata-kun join our group?
[00:36] Gin
    ...I'll feel like that pathetic
    left-out boy who
[00:39] ---
    ends up in a group of girls
    out of sympathy!
[00:43] Kyu
    Kintoki, we trusted you.
[00:46] Kyu
    That's why we're here.
[00:48] Tsu
    So trust us.
[00:50] Tsu
    This man isn't what you think he is.
[00:53] Sa
    The Kin-san I know would back off.
[00:58] All
    If you consider us friends...
[01:04] Kin
    I see.
[01:05] Kin
    I suppose you're representing
    the Yagyu and Hyakka.
[01:11] Kin
    Get out of this town
[01:14] Kin
    with Gintoki.
[01:16] Tojo
    Kintoki-dono?!
[01:17] Kin
    If you're taking that man's side,
[01:20] Kin
    you're an enemy of this town,
[01:21] ---
    an enemy of the Kabuki district!
[01:25] Kyu
    I see.
[01:26] Kyu
    Is that your answer?
[01:39] Zura
    In that case...
[01:39] Both
    We also have our answer.
[01:43] Kin
    What do you think you're doing?
[01:46] Kin
    Women are quick to betray you,
[01:48] Kin
    but men are supposed to have honor.
[01:52] Kin
    Aren't we frien—
[01:53] Zura
    We're friends.
[01:54] Mada
    No doubt about it.
[01:56] Zura
    Kintoki, I once made a
    promise with a friend.
[02:00] Zura
    Never change.
[02:03] Gin
    If you ever change, I'll
    be there to cut you down.
[02:07] Mada
    Kin-san, a buddy of mine
    used to smack me around.
[02:11] Gin
    Fool! Don't blame everything
    on your sunglasses!
[02:15] Mada
    That's who we are.
[02:17] Zura
    When we believe you're
    taking the right path,
[02:21] ---
    we stick with you,
    no matter how hard it is.
[02:24] Mada
    But if you're taking the wrong path,
[02:27] ---
    we'll stop you, even if it turns
    the whole world against us.
[02:32] Zura
    That friend is...
[02:33] Mada
    That man is...
[02:35] Kyu
    That idiot is...
[02:36] Tsu
    That lazy ass is...
[02:38] Sa
    That sadist is...
[02:43] All
    Our friend, Sakata Gintoki.
[02:49] Tojo
    Huh?
[02:50] Tojo
    I-I kind of went with the flow,
    but I can't remember a thing.
[02:53] Gin
    Y-You guys are...
SIGN    Middle School Class Reunion
[02:58] Zura
    Yo, it's been forever.
    You been doing okay?
[03:01] Mada
    You still look like a
    loser. Have a drink.
[03:04] Gin
    ...acting all friendly and mature
    at our class reunion as though
[03:08] ---
    you never shunned me
    when we were kids.
[03:11] ---
    Screw you!
[03:19] Gin
    Bastard!
[03:20] Kin
    Impressive, brother.
[03:22] Kin
    So this is the power of
    a bond forged through
[03:25] ---
    60 volumes of DVDs?
[03:27] Kin
    But it's no use.
[03:29] Kin
    You can try to win them back,
[03:31] Kin
    but I can undo your work
    with a wave of my hand.
[03:34] Kin
    Want to know why?
[03:36] Kin
    It's because the main
    character in this anime...
[03:39] All
    ...is Kin-san.
[03:43] Kin
    You thought I couldn't
    brainwash people anymore.
[03:46] Kin
    Tama threw away her life for nothing.
[03:49] Kin
    Come on, let's protect our town.
[03:53] Kin
    This sideshow continues to defy
[03:56] ---
    the main character and his friends.
[03:59] Kin
    Send him packing!
[04:06] Zura
    Go ahead and try!
[04:09] Zura
    But we hold inside us
[04:12] Zura
    ironclad memories of the
    battles we fought together!
[04:16] Zura
    A silver sword lies inside our souls!
[04:20] Gin
    If you think you can
    break those swords,
[04:24] Gin
    break them!
[04:26] Gin
    My hypnotism isn't working!
[04:30] Kin
    Crush them! Beat them down!
[04:32] Zura
    Go!
[04:33] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[04:36] Gin
    Yeah, I'll let you watch my back!
[04:40] Gin
    While...
[04:41] Both
    I handle being the main character!
[05:06] Kin
    I'll obliterate you.
[05:07] Kin
    Erase your memories, your
    friends, your very being...
[05:13] Gin
    You're the one who's
    getting obliterated.
[05:15] Gin
    Let's see if your memory
    bank is fried first,
[05:19] Gin
    or if my soul burns out first.
[05:23] Gin
    Let's finish this.
[05:26] Kin
    Whether gold or silver wins
    this battle for existence,
[05:29] ---
    you will be the one who disappears.
[05:32] Kin
    I installed a special program
    in myself that will activate
[05:36] ---
    when certain conditions are met.
[05:38] Kin
    This program will cause
    a hypnotic explosion
[05:40] ---
    that will blanket the
    entire Kabuki district
[05:43] Kin
    and reset everyone's memory.
[05:47] Kin
    There are two conditions.
[05:49] Kin
    The first is when my core is broken.
[05:52] Kin
    The second
[05:54] Kin
    is about to happen.
[05:58] Otae
    Shin-chan! Kagura-chan!
[06:00] Otae
    What are you doing here?!
[06:02] Otae
    Come on! Pull yourself together!
[06:05] Shin
    Sis...
[06:07] Shin
    We remembered everything.
[06:11] Shin
    Who Sakata Kintoki really is,
[06:14] Shin
    who Sakata Gintoki really is...
[06:18] Shin
    The person who altered our
    memories just restored them.
[06:22] Shin
    After that, we lost consciousness.
[06:25] Kag
    Boss lady, we did terrible
    things to Gin-chan.
[06:30] Kag
    How do we say we're sorry?
[06:33] Kag
    How can we make up?
[06:38] Otae
    Stand up, you two.
[06:41] Otae
    Let's go back to our leader.
[06:45] Kin
    The second is when the four people
[06:48] ---
    who started this all appear before me.
[06:55] Kin
    Understand?
[06:58] Kin
    If you defeat me or
    recover your friends,
[07:03] Kin
    everything will end.
[07:05] Kin
    That was my true objective.
[07:08] Kin
    You thought I wanted to take
    over this lousy anime?
[07:11] Kin
    Sorry, but I'm not going
[07:12] ---
    to be satisfied with
    your sloppy seconds.
[07:15] Kin
    I take everything from you
[07:17] ---
    and become the worst
    enemy you've ever faced.
[07:21] Kin
    But still, you're able to recover
    your friends singlehandedly
[07:25] ---
    and work together to defeat me.
[07:28] Kin
    Yes, that is what I was hoping
    to see in this final battle.
[07:34] Kin
    I wanted to give this
    show its last episode
[07:37] Kin
    so I could return as the main character
[07:39] ---
    of a show that was neither
    Gintama nor Kintama.
[07:44] Kin
    Sakata Gintoki, this anime returned
[07:49] Kin
    as a tombstone to mark an end
    to your pathetic existence,
[07:54] ---
    to this joke of an anime.
[07:57] Kin
    Well done.
[07:59] Kin
    You and your friends have
[08:02] ---
    made the atmosphere perfect
    for a final episode.
[08:06] Kin
    Don't worry about me.
[08:08] Kin
    I've backed up my data
    and prepared a new body.
[08:12] Kin
    Rest easy.
[08:14] Kin
    The finale will be very soon.
[08:18] Gin
    That's it?
[08:20] Gin
    Is that all you have to say?
[08:26] Gin
    Sorry, you took so long that I
    missed half of what you said.
[08:32] Kin
    Y-You'll pay for ignoring my warning!
[08:35] Kin
    If you kill me...
[08:36] Gin
    You're finished, right?
[08:41] Kin
    B-Bastard...
[08:44] Kin
    You think you can end this yourself?
[08:47] Kin
    Without recovering
    everything you've lost?
[08:55] Gin
    Nothing's going to end.
[09:00] Gin
    Except for
[09:03] Gin
    you and me, brother.
[09:06] Kin
    Seppuku?!
[09:07] Kin
    You'll lose more than your memories!
[09:09] Kin
    You're going to cripple yourself!
[09:11] Gin
    That's just fine.
[09:12] Gin
    Everyone else forgot about me.
[09:15] Gin
    It's my turn to forget.
[09:17] Kin
    Fool!
[09:18] Kin
    Have you forgotten that I've
    made a copy of myself?!
[09:22] Gin
    I have my own copies.
[09:26] Gin
    They don't listen to a word I say,
[09:29] ---
    but they share the same soul.
[09:32] Gin
    Listen up, Kintoki.
[09:34] Gin
    The main character in Gintama
[09:37] Gin
    is every last idiot alive in this show!
[09:46] Kag
    Gin-chan!
[09:50] Gin
    Can I hold him back by myself?!
[09:57] Gin
    Sorry, everyone.
[09:59] Gin
    You finally remembered me,
[10:02] ---
    but I doubt we'll be
    seeing each other again.
[10:04] Gin
    I was hoping to see your
    stupid faces one last ti—
[10:11] Shin
    Sorry, Gin-san. We kept you waiting.
[10:14] Kag
    We won't let you go off
    by yourself, Gin-chan.
[10:17] Kag
    We'll always be together.
[10:20] Otae
    Don't worry.
[10:22] ---
    We won't forget you this time.
[10:24] Otae
    If you forget about me, I'll punch you.
[10:30] Gin
    Fools...
[10:32] Gin
    Now that you're here, this
    anime is really going to end!
[10:36] Gin
    And it just started again!
[10:38] Shin
    That's not true.
[10:40] Shin
    You'll be there.
[10:41] Shin
    We'll all be there
[10:43] Shin
    to save the day.
[10:50] Kag
    So it doesn't matter how
    many times we forget,
[10:53] ---
    how many times we're separated.
[10:55] Kag
    Isn't that right, Gin-chan?
[10:59] Gin
    Yeah...
[11:02] Gin
    I'll find you.
[11:06] Gin
    We'll see each other again.
[11:45] Toki
    A sword isn't meant to be
    sheathed in underwear.
[11:49] Toki
    It belongs in a scabbard.
[11:52] Toki
    I don't think I can be
    your scabbard anymore,
[11:56] Toki
    but I'm sure there's a girl out there
[11:59] ---
    who's worthy of being your scabbard,
[12:01] Toki
    so you must find her
    so you can be happy.
[12:04] Kin
    I don't wanna.
[12:05] Kin
    I want Tokiko-chan.
[12:08] Toki
    Geez, you're so stupid.
[12:12] Toki
    Will you make me a promise then?
[12:15] Toki
    If I'm reincarnated,
    I'll find you again.
[12:20] Toki
    So promise you'll also find me.
[12:24] Kin
    Uh-huh, I promise.
[12:27] Kin
    I'll find my precious scabbard.
SIGN    Mantama
SIGN    aren't cute at all.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    Oedo Expendables
    Matsuo & Kiyo Drugstore
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Gold and silver
SIGN    The new show Mantama
SIGN    begins now.
SIGN    Sponsors
    
    
    
    
    Andromeda Sweets Shop
    
    
    °Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN    Episode 1: A Man's Sword
[13:50] Kin
    Love Country.
SIGN    Be sure to watch Mantama in a well-lit room
    and sit some distance from the TV!
[13:53] Kin
    There was a time, long ago, when our
[13:55] ---
    country was called by that name.
SIGN    20 Years Ago
[13:57] Kin
    Twenty years ago, a mysterious
    building appeared out of nowhere
[14:03] Kin
    and spread a mysterious virus
[14:06] Kin
    that caused every man's
    pride to rot and fall off.
[14:11] Kin
    Where men and women once talked of love,
[14:14] Kin
    we now had trannies and women bitching.
[14:17] Kin
    Where men and women once spoke of love...
[14:20] A
    Fantabulosa!
[14:21] Kin
    ...was all that remained.
[14:23] Kin
    However, there was one last samurai
    with a resistance to the virus,
[14:27] ---
    whose sword of steel remained strong.
[14:30] Kin
    Sakata Kintoki.
[14:32] Kin
    Yes, he was the last hope for mankind.
[14:36] Kin
    The man who had the right to
    claim every woman on the planet,
[14:40] Kin
    but instead continued to search
    for a single scabbard.
[14:42] Kin
    That man was me.
[14:44] A
    Good morning, Sakata-kun!
[14:45] A
    Let's go to school together!
[14:47] B
    I made an extra lunch today.
[14:49] B
    Would you like it?
[14:50] C
    Sakata-kun promised to
    have lunch with me!
[14:54] D
    What are you talking about?
    He promised me, too.
[14:56] Kin
    Sorry, but I don't remember making
[14:58] ---
    any promises to you girls.
[15:00] Kin
    My promise is to someone else.
[15:02] Kin
    A promise that was made
    long before you were born.
[15:06] B
    Huh? What does that mean?
[15:09] Kin
    How much time has passed
[15:11] ---
    since I started looking for you?
[15:14] Kin
    To keep my promise to you,
[15:16] ---
    I changed my sword, my body, into metal,
[15:19] Kin
    so I could remain a man, even
    if I was no longer human.
[15:23] Kin
    Eventually, the human race will
    die and I'll be left alone.
[15:28] Kin
    But my sword will never break.
[15:31] Kin
    Even if you're reincarnated
    as a cockroach,
[15:33] Kin
    you will still be my precious partner.
[15:36] Toki
    Oh no!
[15:37] Toki
    I'm late on my first day
    at my new school!
SIGN    Wham!
[15:42] All
    Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[15:44] Kin
    Ow...
[15:46] Toki
    Ouch.
[15:48] Toki
    Oops, I screwed up!
[15:53] Kin
    Could it be...
[15:53] Toki
    I'm sorry. Are you hurt?
[15:54] Kin
    Is it truly...
[15:56] Kin
    ...her reincarnation?
[15:59] Toki
    Um, excuse me.
[16:03] Toki
    That's my plastic bottle.
[16:06] Kin
    Sh-Shit!
[16:08] B
    A plastic bottle is stuck on
[16:10] ---
    the only sword left in the entire world!
[16:13] Gor
    What's all this fuss about?
[16:15] C
    Ms. Goriko!
[16:16] C
    It's terrible!
[16:18] C
    Look at Sakata-kun's crotch!
[16:20] Gor
    This is...
[16:21] Gor
    Don't touch it!
[16:22] Gor
    If the main character of
    this anime loses his crotch,
[16:25] ---
    his only unique feature,
[16:27] Gor
    Sakata-kun will no longer be
[16:28] ---
    qualified to be the main character!
[16:29] Kin
    Teach!
[16:30] ---
    Don't make it sound like my
    crotch is all there is to me!
[16:33] Gor
    For now, let's carefully carry
    him to the nurse's office.
[16:36] Gor
    Here we go!
[16:38] A
    Teach! Could you be any less careful?!
[16:41] B
    Look out! There's a
    ball coming your way!
[16:45] E
    Teach! Please go to
    the nurse's office!
[16:48] E
    Thanks, Teach!
[16:49] Kin
    Hold on!
[16:51] Kin
    You've got two balls and
    a bat in your mitt now!
[16:54] ---
    Okay, here I go!
[16:55] Kin
    Wait!
[16:56] Kin
    Those are my balls and bat!
[16:58] E
    Kick off!
[16:59] Kin
    Aren't you playing baseball?!
[17:02] Kin
    She hit the school!
[17:04] Kin
    My sword!
[17:06] F
    What's going on?
[17:08] F
    This came flying into the art room.
[17:11] Kin
    Is it okay?!
[17:12] F
    Yes, there was a broken
    screw in the bottle,
[17:16] ---
    so I repaired it.
[17:17] Kin
    Bon voyage!
[17:20] A
    Sakata-kun's crotch
    has gone bon voyage!
[17:25] Gor
    Okay, let's take attendance!
[17:28] Kin
    It's over...
[17:30] Kin
    I finally found someone who
    appeared to be her reincarnation,
[17:34] Kin
    but my scabbard is a plastic bottle,
[17:36] Kin
    and my sword has set
    sail for a new world.
[17:40] Kin
    I can no longer...
[17:44] Toki
    Excuse me!
[17:45] Gor
    Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[17:47] Gor
    You're late on your first day.
[17:48] Toki
    I-I'm sorry.
[17:54] Toki
    Nice to meet you.
[17:55] Toki
    I'm a new transfer student.
[17:58] Toki
    Sorry about being late.
[18:00] Toki
    I was looking for something.
[18:04] Toki
    It took forever,
[18:05] Toki
    but I was finally able to find it.
[18:10] Toki
    Find you...
[18:14] Toki
    Sorry it took so long.
[18:21] Kin
    Tokiko-chan!
[18:26] Toki
    You don't need to cry.
[18:28] Toki
    Didn't we promise
[18:32] Gin
    that we would meet again?
SIGN    Sakata Gintoki
[18:36] Gin
    Let's start over.
[18:38] Gin
    I'm the new transfer
    student, Sakata Gintoki.
[18:43] Gin
    Hey, what's with the look on your face?
[18:45] Gin
    Did you forget the promise we made?
[18:49] Shin
    Of course not.
[18:51] Shin
    It doesn't matter how
    many times we forget...
[18:53] Kag
    How many times we're separated.
[18:55] Otae
    We'll find you.
[18:59] All
    Right, Gin-san?
[19:02] Gin
    There you go, brother.
[19:05] Gin
    Sorry to ruin your main
    character gig, but Mantama
[19:09] Gin
    was created to be your tombstone.
[19:24] Tama
    Did you enjoy your brief
    experience as a main character?
[19:28] Tama
    Did you enjoy having
    everything important
[19:31] ---
    to you taken away?
[19:33] Tama
    That's what you were doing.
[19:36] Kin
    I see...
[19:37] ---
    So that world was a virtual
    one that you created.
[19:41] Gen
    When I was repairing you,
    I added a few safety measures.
[19:46] Kin
    That's why they still
    have their memories
[19:48] ---
    after being hit by the
    hypnotic explosion?
[19:51] Gen
    Heh, they didn't need my help.
[19:55] Gen
    Kintoki, the bond people share
[19:58] Gen
    goes deeper than the memory.
[20:04] Gin
    Tama, I've settled my score with him.
[20:08] Gin
    He's all yours now.
[20:10] Gin
    Boil him, fry him,
    do whatever you want.
[20:13] Shin
    Please wait, Tama-san!
[20:15] Kag
    Can you spare him?!
[20:18] Shin
    We were the ones who
    asked you to make him!
[20:21] Kag
    He was just trying to take
    Gin-chan's place as our leader!
[20:24] Kag
    He just went too far!
[20:27] Shin
    We'll join him in begging
    everyone for forgiveness!
[20:31] Shin
    Please!
[20:33] Tama
    Did you hear that?
[20:36] Kin
    You people are too soft.
[20:38] Kin
    Gintoki, this is the reality
    of what you've achieved.
[20:42] Kin
    See how your friends are too
    weak to finish off your enemy.
[20:46] Kin
    See how you were too powerless
    to do anything alone.
[20:51] Kin
    Your imperfect character was
[20:53] ---
    destined to fail, even
    without my intervention.
[20:56] Gin
    You're absolutely right.
[20:58] Gin
    I can't do anything alone.
[21:01] Gin
    Everyone here has their
    flaws and imperfections.
[21:04] Gin
    But that's what drives
    us to work together
[21:07] ---
    to make up for those flaws.
[21:10] Gin
    Together, we make the
    perfect main character.
[21:14] Gin
    If you don't believe me,
    you can come back.
[21:17] Gin
    We'll take you on again.
[21:19] Gin
    See ya, imperfect plastic model.
[21:22] Kin
    Wait! Did you say I was imperfect?!
[21:24] Kin
    Take that back!
[21:26] Tama
    No, you are certainly imperfect.
[21:31] Tama
    You were so focused on altering
    other people's memories,
[21:36] Tama
    you didn't realize that other
    people were altering your soul.
[21:41] Tama
    You should treasure the
    life your friends spared.
[21:50] Kin
    Gramps...
[21:52] Kin
    Can you polish me up?
[21:55] Gen
    No idea. I can start by
    making you shiny gold.
[22:00] Gen
    No, shiny gold won't do.
[22:03] Sa
    Gin-san!
SIGN    Gintama
[22:08] All
    Welcome back!
[22:11] Gen
    Let's try making you
SIGN    Gintama Episode 256
[22:14] ---
    shiny silver.
SIGN    We're Back

257 - Courtesan turns the tables

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:32] Suzu
    I loathe the moon.
[01:36] Suzu
    With nightfall, it brings you to me,
[01:40] Suzu
    but it also takes you from
    me when dawn breaks.
[01:44] Suzu
    I wish the moon would never leave us.
[01:48] Suzu
    Then you would always be here with me.
[01:53] A
    The moon will come with the night again.
[01:56] A
    And someday, when it does,
[01:59] ---
    I will take you with me in the morning.
[02:01] A
    Wait before the cherry blossom tree
[02:03] ---
    on the night of the next full moon.
[02:15] Suzu
    Do you promise?
[02:17] A
    I promise.
[02:22] Both
    Promise.
[02:24] Suzu
    I'll be waiting
[02:27] Suzu
    for the moon to rise
[02:28] Suzu
    forever.
[02:33] Gin
    The legendary courtesan?
[02:35] Tsu
    You don't know of her?
[02:37] Tsu
    The other lady of Yoshiwara,
[02:39] Tsu
    the courtesan Suzuran.
[02:41] Gin
    Why is she legendary?
[02:42] Gin
    Is she a descendant of Erdrick?
[02:43] Gin
    From Hand of the Heavenly Courtesan?
[02:45] Hino
    I'm not talking about Nera.
[02:47] Gin
    Nera? I was talking about Bianca.
[02:49] Hino
    Don't forget about Debora.
[02:51] Tsu
    Uh, none of them matter.
[02:53] Hino
    The courtesan Suzuran.
[02:55] Hino
    Her beauty was said
    to come from the heavens.
[02:57] Hino
    No one could rival her
    in song or dance.
[03:01] Hino
    Many elite officials sought Suzuran's
    favor by offering her great wealth,
[03:05] Hino
    but most were sent home
    after a cup of tea.
[03:08] Gin
    Sounds like she was beautiful
    enough to topple nations.
[03:12] Gin
    The other lady of Yoshiwara
    isn't toppling nations
[03:15] ---
    so much as toppling from
    the weight of her makeup.
[03:17] Hino
    Oh, sorry.
[03:19] Hino
    My hand slipped.
[03:20] Hino
    Must be because our nation
    is toppling over.
[03:21] Gin
    But it sounds like she's
    no longer around.
[03:25] Gin
    I would have liked to
    enjoy her company once.
[03:28] Hino
    You're more than welcome.
[03:31] Hino
    You're such a fool.
[03:33] Hino
    The legendary courtesan was
    the one who invited you here.
[03:36] Hino
    She wants to meet the
    savior of Yoshiwara.
SIGN    Courtesan Turns the Tables
[03:49] Gin
    This should be good enough?
[03:51] Gin
    But wait...
[03:53] Gin
    Maybe I should...
[03:54] Tsu
    It doesn't matter!
[03:55] Tsu
    Aren't you getting ahead of yourself?
[03:57] Gin
    This is important though.
[03:59] Gin
    We're talking about a
    legendary courtesan.
[04:01] Gin
    If I screw something up, this won't
    be a Yoshiwara night anymore!
[04:04] Gin
    It'll be Tsukiji instead!
[04:05] Gin
    I'll turn into a dead fish!
[04:06] Tsu
    Don't worry. Nothing like
    that is going to happen.
[04:11] A
    Lady Suzuran has arrived!
[04:14] Hino
    Oh, she's here.
[04:20] ---
    Here she comes...
[04:21] Gin
    Here she comes! Here she comes!
[04:23] Suzu
    H-Hello.
[04:28] Suzu
    It is an honor to meet you.
[04:31] Suzu
    I am Su-Suzura...
[04:34] Suzu
    Huh?
[04:36] Suzu
    Who am I?
[04:39] Hino
    Allow me to introduce you.
[04:40] Hino
    This is the legendary
    courtesan, our elder.
[04:44] Hino
    The courtesan Lady Suzuran.
[04:54] Tsu
    Hey, where do you think you're going?
[04:55] Gin
    Just over to Tsukiji.
[04:57] Gin
    Er, sorry.
[04:58] Gin
    I heard she was a courtesan, but she
    was toppling more than I thought.
[05:01] Gin
    I didn't think she would be
    completely toppled over.
[05:03] Gin
    You said that this is
    the legendary what?
[05:05] Gin
    Lady Boomerang?
[05:06] Tsu
    Lady Suzuran.
[05:09] Gin
    You girls are mean.
[05:11] Gin
    You made it sound like she
    was working with you.
[05:14] Suzu
    U-Um, I'm still on the job.
[05:18] Gin
    What?!
[05:18] Suzu
    I don't mean to brag,
[05:21] ---
    but I've been working here since before
    Yoshiwara moved underground.
[05:25] Gin
    You're the one who's going
    to be put underground soon!
[05:28] Suzu
    I may be older now,
[05:30] Suzu
    but my technique is just as
    good as those younger girls!
[05:35] Gin
    What kind of technique is this?!
[05:38] Suzu
    Please come over here, savior...
[05:43] Suzu
    Huh?
[05:43] Suzu
    Who are you?
[05:45] Gin
    Sakata Gintoki!
[05:47] Suzu
    Oh, I wanted to thank you.
[05:53] Suzu
    Please drink until you knock
    yourself out tonight.
[05:57] Gin
    This lady's spilling the whole bottle!
[06:00] Suzu
    Huh? It's empty.
[06:02] Suzu
    You drink fast.
[06:03] Gin
    Are you listening to me, lady?!
[06:05] Suzu
    Please knock yourself out tonight.
[06:10] Gin
    Lady, you've knocked yourself
    out, so can I go?!
[06:15] Hino
    Behold Lady Suzuran's famous dancing.
[06:17] Hino
    Look at her break dance.
[06:19] Gin
    Wait, she's break dancing?
[06:21] Gin
    It looks like she's having a breakdown!
[06:23] Gin
    This is bad!
[06:25] Gin
    Should we call an ambulance?
[06:26] Suzu
    Y-You're too hasty.
[06:28] Suzu
    Why don't we get to bed then?
[06:30] Gin
    No!
[06:32] Hino
    Here is your bed.
[06:35] Gin
    What kind of bed is that?!
[06:38] Suzu
    I-I truly enjoyed our
    time together today.
[06:42] Gin
    What?!
[06:43] Gin
    You don't look like
    you enjoyed yourself!
[06:44] Suzu
    Thank you for being my last visitor.
[06:49] Gin
    Don't jinx yourself!
[06:51] Suzu
    You're so kind.
[06:54] Suzu
    You're showing so much
    concern for an old woman.
[07:00] Suzu
    Can you make me a promise then?
[07:06] Suzu
    Come see me again when the moon rises.
[07:11] Suzu
    I'll be waiting
[07:15] Suzu
    for the moon to rise
[07:17] Suzu
    forever.
[07:27] Hino
    That's known as a lovers' pact.
[07:29] Hino
    Long ago, the women of Yoshiwara would
[07:32] ---
    exchange vows of love
    with their customers.
[07:35] Hino
    My love belongs only to you.
[07:37] Hino
    I will never be unfaithful to you.
[07:40] Hino
    As proof, the women would offer
    their hair, nails, and blood.
[07:48] Hino
    Sadly, most of the
    women made these pacts
[07:50] ---
    to squeeze more money
    from their customers.
[07:56] Gin
    She's as good as they claim, then.
[07:59] Gin
    That old woman had a man's hair
    wrapped around her pinky.
[08:03] Hino
    She refused to retire,
[08:05] Hino
    even after she no longer had
[08:07] ---
    any customers and
    Yoshiwara was set free.
[08:09] Hino
    She offered to do anything
    if we let her stay here.
[08:12] Hino
    And she intends to spend the rest
    of her life here as a prostitute.
[08:17] Hino
    She made a promise long ago
[08:20] ---
    when Yoshiwara was still on the surface.
[08:23] Hino
    A promise to leave
    Yoshiwara together...
[08:27] Hino
    Judging from her behavior,
[08:29] ---
    she must have mistaken you for that man.
[08:32] Tsu
    Do you mean that
[08:33] ---
    Suzuran has been waiting here
    all this time for that man?
[08:36] Hino
    I don't know.
[08:37] Hino
    But Yoshiwara has always been a place
[08:39] ---
    where men and women lie to each other.
[08:41] Hino
    Everyone knows that these dreams
[08:43] ---
    will not last beyond morning.
[08:45] Hino
    But we all continue to act our roles.
[08:48] Hino
    It's your own fault if you
    choose to believe that dream.
[08:51] Hino
    But some may not wish to
    awaken from that dream.
[08:55] Hino
    She wishes to sleep inside her
    dream, under the moonlight.
[09:03] A
    Suzuran?
[09:04] A
    My late lech of a grandpa
    mentioned her before.
[09:07] B
    Yes, I remember her.
[09:08] B
    She was a fine woman.
[09:10] B
    But she was out of my league.
[09:12] B
    I would have loved a chance
    with Suzuki Ranran.
[09:16] C
    Yes, she was incredibly popular.
[09:19] C
    But personally, I was
    more of a Miki-chan fan
[09:21] ---
    than a Ran-chan fan
[09:22] C
    when it came to the Candies.
[09:24] D
    I would totally lay Pink Lady.
[09:27] E
    I would totally lay you.
[09:30] F
    I just want one last lay,
    I don't care who...
[09:35] Gin
    I'm a fan of Ketsuno Ana.
[09:37] Gin
    Wait, I don't mean that like it sounded...
[09:39] Gin
    Kshatriya!
[09:41] Tsu
    Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[09:44] Gin
    Why are you sneaking around
[09:45] ---
    asking old men who they want to lay?
[09:48] Tsu
    It's not my fault those perverted
    leches got distracted!
[09:51] Gin
    Are you looking for the
    old woman's darling?
[09:56] Gin
    Are you girly enough to think that the
[09:58] ---
    man still remembers an ancient promise?
[10:00] Tsu
    Who are you calling girly?!
[10:02] Tsu
    I'm the leader of the
    Hyakka, Lady Death!
[10:05] Tsu
    I came to the surface for a
    new pipe, but I got lost,
[10:09] ---
    and when I asked for directions...
[10:10] Tsu
    Um...
[10:11] A
    Boss!
[10:12] A
    We have information on Suzuran!
[10:14] Tsu
    Shut up!
[10:15] Gin
    Huh? Why are you telling
    them to shut up?
[10:18] Gin
    Did you come to the surface to buy
    girly stuff to make yourself pretty?
[10:20] Gin
    You're such a girl.
[10:21] Tsu
    No! I'm buying non-girly stuff
    to make myself not pretty!
[10:25] Tsu
    Get back to shopping!
[10:26] A
    Huh? Shopping?
[10:27] B
    For what?
[10:28] Gin
    Yeah, you women are hopeless.
[10:30] Gin
    That old woman was hoodwinked.
[10:34] Gin
    I feel sorry for you women.
[10:37] Shin
    Gin-san!
[10:38] Shin
    We have information on the old lady!
[10:41] Gin
    Shut up!
[10:42] Tsu
    Oh, I see.
[10:43] Tsu
    Fancy that.
[10:44] Tsu
    So you're also doing
    some secret shopping.
[10:46] Gin
    I'm buying manly stuff!
[10:48] Gin
    To make my curly hair manly!
[10:50] Gin
    So shut up!
[10:52] Tsu
    You shut up!
[10:53] Shin
    Can you cut it out?
[10:55] Shin
    Both of you are so stubborn.
[10:57] Kag
    Gin-chan and Tsu-ki
    both want to help the
[10:59] ---
    old lady meet her darling
    before she dies, right?
[11:02] Both
    What?
[11:04] Shin
    Huh? Don't you?
[11:06] Tsu
    I just wanted to make that man pay
[11:08] ---
    for toying with the heart
    of a Yoshiwara woman.
[11:11] Tsu
    When Suzuran dies,
[11:13] Tsu
    that man will also die.
[11:15] Shin
    This woman's up to no good!
[11:18] Gin
    I made her a promise.
[11:21] Gin
    If I find the man,
[11:23] Gin
    she'll give me all of her wealth.
[11:25] Shin
    Don't lie!
[11:26] Shin
    Don't make up promises!
[11:29] Shin
    So both of you are plotting evil!
[11:32] Tsu
    What do you mean?
[11:33] Tsu
    I'm going to end his life.
[11:35] Gin
    I won't let that happen. The
    lady's money will be mine.
[11:37] Shin
    Hold on! Wait!
[11:39] Shin
    You need to show more respect, Gin-san!
[11:41] A
    Respect isn't the only thing
    you need to show, boss!
[11:44] Gin
    Huh? What are you talking about?
[11:47] Shin
    Well, we were able to obtain
[11:49] ---
    information on Suzuran-san's
    former customer.
[11:51] A
    But this customer is big trouble.
[11:55] Shin
    Long ago, Suzuran-san had many wealthy
[11:58] ---
    retainers as her customers.
[12:00] Shin
    But they all suddenly
    stopped visiting her.
[12:04] Shin
    It was because of a certain rumor
    going through Yoshiwara.
[12:06] Shin
    Suzuran-san was the
    favorite of that man.
[12:09] Tsu
    That man?
[12:11] Tsu
    Who was he?
[12:13] Shin
    It's the man
[12:16] Shin
    who lives over there.
[12:20] Gin
    Shinpachi-kun, are
    you saying that...
[12:24] Shin
    The former shogun.
[12:33] Gin
    Pachi-boy, can I ask you a question?
[12:35] Gin
    What will happen to us if
    we're caught sneaking
[12:37] ---
    into the castle to see
    the former shogun?
[12:39] Shin
    We'll be executed.
[12:41] Gin
    What will happen if we wait for
    the shogun to step outside?
[12:44] Shin
    We'll be executed.
[12:45] Gin
    Between the old former courtesan and the
[12:48] ---
    old former shogun, who has more money?
[12:51] Shin
    Should be the shogun.
[12:53] Gin
    Okay, I have a plan.
[12:56] Gin
    Tsukuyo will sneak past the
    guards into the palace.
[12:59] Gin
    Then I report her to the guards and
[13:01] ---
    receive a reward from the shogun.
[13:03] Gin
    A perfect plan!
[13:06] Tsu
    This seems more perfect to me.
[13:09] Gin
    Calm down, Tsu-ki.
[13:11] Gin
    We're talking about the former shogun.
[13:13] Gin
    It'll be hard enough to announce
    ourselves, let alone meet him.
[13:16] Gin
    What would we say if we met him, anyway?
[13:19] Tsu
    That his former lover is
    waiting for him in hell.
[13:21] Gin
    This is bad.
[13:23] ---
    She's going to get us arrested
    for assassinating the shogun!
[13:26] Shin
    So we won't be able to sneak inside?
[13:28] Gin
    They've got guards everywhere.
[13:30] Gin
    Something must have happened.
[13:32] Gin
    Besides, even if that
[13:33] ---
    old woman used to be the
    top courtesan in Edo,
[13:36] Gin
    the shogun wouldn't go to
    Yoshiwara to visit her.
[13:40] Shin
    The shogun was Suzuran-san's customer
[13:43] ---
    before he became the shogun.
[13:46] Shin
    And didn't you know, Gin-san?
[13:49] Shin
    You haven't heard about the
    13th shogun, Sadasada-sama?
[13:54] Shin
    When the Amanto attacked,
[13:55] ---
    he replaced the 12th shogun
    who collapsed from the stress.
[14:00] Shin
    While he was called a traitor
    for opening up control,
[14:04] Shin
    he's considered a brilliant
    leader who rebuilt the bakufu.
[14:07] Shin
    Even after abdicating,
[14:09] ---
    he holds incredible influence
    and serves as an advisor.
[14:13] Shin
    He was known to be a player
[14:15] Shin
    with the highest number of wives
    ever recorded in the family.
[14:19] Gin
    So he went Abarenbo Shogun
    every Saturday at 8 PM?
[14:23] Shin
    He went Abarenbo Shogun
    every night at 8 PM.
[14:30] Tsu
    He used his position to toy with
    Suzuran, then he tossed her aside.
[14:35] Tsu
    My target is the former shogun.
[14:38] Gin
    Could you not use the word target?
[14:40] Tsu
    I understand that this is reckless.
[14:42] Tsu
    Nevertheless, I must go.
[14:44] Gin
    Hey!
[14:45] Tsu
    The woman devoted her
    life to Yoshiwara.
[14:48] Tsu
    Yoshiwara must return the favor.
[14:51] Tsu
    She no longer needs the moon to
    show her dreams that won't last.
[14:55] Tsu
    The last moon she sees will
    be when her dream comes true.
[15:00] Shin
    Tsukuyo-san...
[15:03] Kag
    Wait, Tsu-ki!
[15:06] Kag
    There's nothing reckless
    about that dream.
[15:13] A
    Open the gates!
[15:22] B
    Attention!
[15:24] B
    Princess Soyo has arrived!
[15:26] Soyo
    Kagura-chan!
[15:27] B
    Your Highness, behave yourself!
[15:29] Kag
    Soyo-chan!
[15:31] Soyo
    It's been forever!
[15:32] Soyo
    How have you been?
[15:34] Kag
    I'm doing just fine.
[15:35] Kag
    And you look like
    you're in good shape.
[15:38] B
    Your Highness, it's not proper
    to embrace someone in public.
[15:38] Soyo
    I've been so lonely since
    the last time you came.
[15:41] Soyo
    Oh, did you bring me the new
    sukonbu like you promised?
[15:44] Soyo
    Yup!
[15:44] Gin
    Huh? What's that? Who's that?
[15:46] Gin
    Clara and Heidi?
[15:48] Shin
    If my memory serves me right,
[15:50] ---
    that's Princess Soyo, the younger
    sister of the current shogun.
[15:53] Gin
    If my memory serves me right,
[15:54] ---
    the princess wouldn't
    be yodeling with Heidi.
[15:59] Gin
    No way. When did she
    score a connection
[16:01] ---
    with the princess of this country?
[16:03] Gin
    When did she become more
    influential than I am?
[16:05] Gin
    This is how Alm-Onji must have felt.
[16:07] Gin
    He couldn't be happy for Heidi when
[16:09] ---
    she came back from
    Frankfurt all grown up.
[16:12] Shin
    Alm-Onji wasn't that mean.
[16:15] Kag
    I brought my friends
    today. Is that okay?
[16:18] Soyo
    Of course.
[16:19] Soyo
    Your friends are my friends.
[16:22] Soyo
    Thank you for coming to visit today.
[16:24] Soyo
    You must be Gin-chan.
[16:25] Gin
    Huh? You know me?
[16:27] Soyo
    Yes, Kagura-chan has
    told me all about you.
[16:30] Soyo
    I'm honored to meet you.
[16:32] Gin
    N-No, I'm the one who's honored.
[16:34] Gin
    You've done a lot for Kagura.
[16:36] Soyo
    You weren't lying about
    how shaggy he is.
[16:38] Gin
    Uh, Kagura-chan? What have
    you been telling her?
[16:41] Soyo
    So the glasses wearing the
    human are Pachi-boy-san?
[16:43] Shin
    Glasses wearing the human?!
[16:45] Shin
    That's backwards!
[16:46] Shin
    What have you been
    telling her about me?!
[16:48] Soyo
    Who is this woman?
[16:50] Kagura
    She came from Yoshiwara to
    knock off the shogun...
[16:54] Soyo
    Yoshiwara? Knock off?
[16:57] Tsu
    No, I'm... You know...
[16:59] Gin
    She's a delivery hell girl who came from
[17:02] ---
    Yoshiwara to knock out the shogun.
[17:03] Tsu
    How is that any better?!
[17:04] Soyo
    So she's a delivery hell girl.
SIGN    Delivery Hell
[17:07] Tsu
    It still sounds like I'm
    delivering him to hell!
[17:10] Soyo
    I'm sorry.
[17:11] ---
    You came to visit me, but
    we have to sneak around.
[17:14] Soyo
    Sorry about this, Grampy.
[17:17] G
    I'm used to your willful behavior.
[17:19] G
    At least you haven't run
    away from the palace again.
[17:23] Shin
    Uh, did something happen?
[17:25] Soyo
    The palace is currently
    under martial law.
[17:28] G
    Your Highness! That's classified!
[17:29] Soyo
    We can tell them.
[17:32] Soyo
    Lately, somebody has been attacking
    important bakufu officials,
[17:38] Soyo
    so the palace is really
    tense right now.
[17:41] Shin
    S-Sorry, it looks like
    we came at a bad time.
[17:46] Soyo
    No, it's perfectly fine.
[17:48] Soyo
    I couldn't stand the gloomy
    atmosphere much longer.
[17:52] Sasa
    I see. I have no choice then.
[17:56] Sasa
    Under normal circumstances, I would
    tell these visitors to leave,
[17:58] ---
    friends of the princess or not.
[18:01] Sasa
    But I'll make an exception
    in this case.
[18:05] Sasa
    Since one of my e-mail buddies is here.
[18:07] Gin
    Holy!
[18:08] G
    Sasaki-dono!
[18:10] G
    Forgive me, these are...
[18:12] Sasa
    No, it's fine.
[18:15] Sasa
    Since the Mimawarigumi has been
[18:16] ---
    entrusted to protect the palace,
[18:18] ---
    the princess is perfectly safe.
[18:22] Sasa
    And since we've determined
[18:24] ---
    that the assailant is most
    likely a Joi patriot,
[18:27] Sasa
    it shouldn't matter if a former
    Joi is allowed inside the palace.
[18:31] Sasa
    Isn't that right, White Yaksha?
SIGN    From: Sabu-chan Subject: Your New Phone
[18:33] Sasa
    "Throwing away your phone was mean.
[18:35] Sasa
    I'll give you a new one,
    so e-mail me again."
[18:38] G
    Your Highness, please be quiet!
[18:41] G
    If you cause any fuss, I, Rotten
    Maizo, will lose my head.
[18:45] Kag
    Soyo-chan, what do you
    want to do today?
[18:47] Kag
    We can play tag.
[18:48] Soyo
    Yes, yes!
[18:48] G
    Were you listening to me?
[18:50] Kag
    You whine too much, old man!
[18:52] G
    Don't call me an old man!
[18:55] Gin
    This isn't good.
[18:56] Tsu
    Do you know that man?
[18:58] Gin
    We made it inside the palace,
[19:01] Gin
    but we've got a pesky
    watchdog on our tail now.
[19:06] Sasa
    "Nobu-tasu's guarding
    the princess right now,
[19:08] ---
    so if you try anything
    funny, you'll be killed.
[19:10] Sasa
    Be careful."
[19:12] Shin
    We could ask the princess to help us.
[19:15] Gin
    How are we supposed to explain
    Yoshiwara to that innocent girl?
[19:20] Gin
    And we've got Grampy and the
    watchdog monitoring us.
[19:24] Tsu
    That means we need to lose
    Grampy and the watchdog
[19:27] ---
    before we can freely
    move around the palace.
[19:29] G
    I won't let you play
    tag! It's not proper!
[19:32] Kag
    You're so pissy!
[19:34] Kag
    That's why you're known as "Gram-pee."
[19:37] G
    That's what Grampy stands for?
[19:39] Soyo
    That's wrong, Kagura-chan.
[19:40] Soyo
    The Gram is short for Grand,
[19:42] Soyo
    so it's "Grand-pee."
[19:44] G
    Your Highness! That's worse!
[19:47] Tsu
    Enough of this, Kagura.
[19:50] Kag
    Tsu-ki...
[19:51] Tsu
    If we play tag under the
    current circumstances,
[19:53] ---
    we'll be making more
    trouble for the guards.
[19:55] G
    See? Did you hear that, Your Highness?
[19:57] G
    This is how grown-ups should act.
[19:58] Tsu
    Instead, you should keep it
    quiet and play kick the can.
[20:01] Gin
    Wait, how does that make sense?!
[20:04] Tsu
    If you play tag, you'll be running
    around and making a lot of noise.
[20:06] Tsu
    But kick the can is similar
    to hide-and-seek.
[20:09] Tsu
    There shouldn't be too much noise.
[20:10] Both
    Makes sense!
[20:11] Both
    Wait, you're missing the point!
[20:13] Gin
    Is she going to use hide-and-seek as an
[20:16] ---
    excuse to shake Grampy and the watchdog?
[20:18] Shin
    Grampy's not going to accept that!
[20:20] G
    It's not proper for Your
    Highness to kick cans!
[20:23] Shin
    See?
[20:24] G
    If you want to kick cans,
[20:27] G
    you should kick me instead!
[20:28] Shin
    What?!
[20:29] Gin
    Hey! Grampy's the worst offender here!
[20:31] G
    Now step on me with your pointy heels!
[20:34] Soyo
    Grand-pee!
[20:35] Nobu
    Wait.
[20:37] Nobu
    Kick the can...
[20:38] Nobu
    Kick the Grampy...
[20:40] Nobu
    I can't allow that.
[20:41] Gin
    Damn, here she comes!
[20:44] Nobu
    Let's play cut the Grampy.
[20:45] Gin
    You're joining in?!
[20:47] Gin
    What's cut the Grampy?!
[20:49] Gin
    Some kind of killing game?!
[20:50] Soyo
    Are you going to play
    with us, Nobume-san?
[20:54] Soyo
    Yay!
[20:55] Nobu
    This is more pointy than her heels.
[20:57] G
    Uh, it's too pointy!
[20:58] G
    I'll take a grand piss on that idea!
[21:01] Gin
    Both Grampy and the
    watchdog are joining in!
[21:04] Gin
    Wait, wait, wait.
[21:06] Gin
    A guard shouldn't be doing this.
[21:08] Gin
    Grampy's going to die, so
    we should change the rules.
[21:11] Nobu
    Then I'm It.
[21:12] Nobu
    I'll cut down everyone I find.
[21:14] Gin
    That'll mean more casualties!
[21:16] Gin
    Are you that eager to cut people?!
[21:19] Nobu
    Hurry up and kick the can.
[21:21] Gin
    Wait!
[21:22] Gin
    Why are you starting already?!
[21:25] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[21:26] Tsu
    Kick the can as far as
    you can to buy time!
[21:29] Gin
    Shut up!
[21:30] Gin
    Why do I have to buy you
    guys time to run away?!
[21:33] Gin
    Damn it all!
[21:34] Gin
    I'll lose my head anyway when they
[21:36] ---
    find out we're sneaking
    around the palace!
[21:38] Gin
    In that case, I'll kick it good!
[21:44] Gin
    Go!
[21:49] Shogun
    You're being too noisy, Soyo.
[21:51] Shogun
    Honestly, when will you realize that
[21:54] ---
    you are the Shogun's younger sister...
[22:06] Gin
    It-It-It...
[22:09] Gin
    It's the shogun?!
SIGN    To be continued...
[23:45] Gin
    Guess what?
[23:46] Gin
    This spring...
[23:47] Gin
    No, this summer, the second
    movie will be hitting theaters!
[23:51] Kag
    Yay! So spring...
[23:52] Kag
    I mean, summer is when it finally happens!
[23:55] Kag
    Time to celebrate!
[23:56] Shin
    This doesn't sound very celebratory.
SIGN    Courtesan Turns the Tables!
SIGN    The former shogun arrives
SIGN    right as the current shogun is taken out!!
SIGN    Given the terrible timing,
SIGN    will Gintoki and crew be able to ask about Suzuran?!

258 - Inside the Palace!!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:32] Gin
    I took him out!
[01:33] Gin
    I took out the shogun!
[01:35] Tsu
    C-Calm down, Gintoki!
[01:36] Tsu
    He's just unconscious!
[01:38] Tsu
    We need to get him help, quick!
[01:39] Nobu
    Found Whitey and Blondie.
[01:41] Gin
    That's not a can!
[01:45] Nobu
    It'll be faster to cut him up.
[01:46] Gin
    Your way of moving faster is too fast!
[01:48] A
    Excuse me, Shogun-sama.
[01:50] A
    The former shogun,
    Sadasada-sama is here.
[01:53] A
    Are you available?
[01:55] Gin
    Is he available?
[01:57] Gin
    That's what I want to know!
[01:59] Gin
    This is a disaster! What the hell
    do we do about this?!
[02:01] Gin
    We finally found the former shogun,
[02:03] ---
    but the current shogun is flying away!
[02:05] Gin
    Butterflying away in the River Styx.
[02:06] Gin
    At this rate, we'll be
    butterflying away with him,
[02:08] Tsu
    Calm down!
[02:09] Gin
    so before that, let's start running away!
[02:13] Tsu
    Hey, where are you going?
[02:15] Tsu
    Get back here.
[02:16] Tsu
    Are you gonna give up
    on this perfect chance?
[02:19] Sada
    Is something wrong?
[02:21] Sada
    Shigeshige-san is my nephew.
[02:23] Sada
    I don't need his permission to visit.
[02:25] Sada
    I'm coming in, Shigeshige-san.
[02:27] Gin
    H-Hold on!
[02:36] Shige
    What is the meaning of this?
[02:39] Tsu
    O-Oh no!
[02:40] Tsu
    We said to wait!
[02:43] Tsu
    Shogun-sama is busy right now.
[02:48] Nobu
    Hello, we're Delivery
    Yoshiwara's Nobume...
[02:50] Tsu
    ...and Tsu-ki. It's a pleasure.
SIGN    Inside the Palace!!
[03:00] Sasa
    Found the princess.
[03:03] Sasa
    Shot Grampy.
[03:05] Sasa
    Sorry, but I already found everyone.
[03:08] Sasa
    Forgive me for being an elite.
[03:11] Grampy
    My apologies, Sasaki-dono!
[03:13] Grampy
    We were just...
[03:13] Sasa
    It's fine.
[03:15] Sasa
    But watch where you hide.
[03:19] Sasa
    I almost mistook you for
    a villain and shot you.
[03:22] Shin
    Almost? You nearly shot me to death!
[03:25] Sasa
    Rotten-dono, if you agree
    to take responsibility when
[03:28] ---
    I accidentally kill the princess,
[03:31] Sasa
    we can play another round.
[03:33] Grampy
    We'll stop! We're going to stop!
[03:34] Grampy
    I'm so very sorry!
[03:36] Sasa
    A wise decision.
[03:38] Sasa
    I would expect as much
[03:40] ---
    from Rotten Maizo-dono,
    advisor to the former shogun.
[03:42] Sasa
    I've heard that you gave up your
    left arm to show your loyalty.
[03:48] Shin
    Grampy, you served Sadasada-sama?
[03:51] Grampy
    I-It was a long time ago.
[03:54] Sasa
    It was a tempestuous age of
    political purges within the palace,
[03:59] Sasa
    and Rotten-dono played a pivotal
    role in keeping his master safe.
[04:04] Sasa
    Sadasada-sama's elevation to shogun
[04:07] ---
    was thanks to Rotten-dono's hard work
[04:10] Sasa
    since the other candidates
    were all sent to heaven.
[04:16] Sasa
    Yes, by "heaven," I mean Yoshiwara.
[04:20] Shin
    What do you...
[04:21] Grampy
    Sasaki-dono, could you escort
    these visitors outside?
[04:25] Grampy
    Come with me, Your Highness.
[04:26] Soyo
    Wait, Grampy!
[04:28] Soyo
    Kagura-chan!
[04:29] Kag
    Soyo-chan!
[04:32] Tsu
    Here you are, Shogun-sama.
[04:35] Tsu
    Come on, Shogun-sama.
[04:37] Tsu
    You're spilling everything.
[04:38] Tsu
    You're so hopeless.
[04:41] Gin
    There's no way!
[04:42] Gin
    Not a chance in hell!
[04:44] Gin
    There's no way we can fool him!
[04:46] Gin
    Why are we bothering with this act?
[04:48] Gin
    His eyes are rolled back!
[04:50] Gin
    The former shogun's eyes
    are also rolled back!
[04:53] Tsu
    Say something! Say something, now!
[04:56] Gin
    I'm not a ventriloquist!
[04:57] Tsu
    Still beats staying quiet! Hurry up!
[05:00] Gin
    Y-Yeah, you gave me a scare
[05:03] Gin
    since you walked in without
    any warning, Uncle!
[05:05] Gin
    Give me a break!
[05:07] Gin
    I look like a fool now!
[05:11] Tsu
    Why are you being so casual?!
[05:13] Tsu
    Act more serious, like the shogun would!
[05:15] Gin
    Bring Genda Tessho-san here, then!
[05:17] Gin
    I don't know how to
    play a serious shogun!
[05:20] Nobu
    My apologies, Dearest Uncle.
[05:22] Gin
    She can mimic voices?
[05:25] Nobu
    I have humiliated myself shogun.
[05:27] Gin
    Huh, shogun?
[05:28] Nobu
    I'm so embarrassed shogun.
[05:30] Gin
    Hey! Why do you end every
    sentence with shogun?!
[05:33] Nobu
    Please forget what you saw shogun.
[05:35] Gin
    You're sounding like Korosuke now!
[05:37] Gin
    Who are you trying to imitate?!
[05:40] Nobu
    Oh, that's odd.
[05:42] Nobu
    The shogun is talking faster than
    his mouth can move shogun.
[05:45] Gin
    Nobody asked for an
    Ikkoku-dou impression!
[05:47] Sada
    No, I should be the one apologizing.
[05:51] Sada
    You seemed to frown upon such behavior.
[05:54] Sada
    I did some crazy things when I was young,
    though nothing as bold as this.
[05:59] Gin
    What does he think was going on here?!
[06:01] Sada
    But I'm shocked that the Mimawarigumi
    would allow visitors inside.
[06:05] Sada
    It seems that they aren't
    here to protect us.
[06:09] Sada
    Look at that.
[06:11] Gin
    Huh? Er, can I sit here?
[06:13] Gin
    Can I just stare at his
    receding hairline from here?
[06:15] Tsu
    Of course not!
[06:16] Tsu
    Stand up! Get over there!
[06:17] Sada
    They claim to be training, but
    that's no more than an excuse.
[06:21] Sada
    They're monitoring us.
[06:23] Sada
    You know that the current Bakufu
[06:24] Tsu
    Hey, be careful!
[06:25] ---
    is split between our faction,
    which backs you,
[06:26] Sada
    and the faction that
    wants to make one of
[06:30] ---
    the young Hitotsubashis Shogun, yes?
[06:33] Sada
    The recent assassination victims
[06:35] ---
    have all been members of
    the Hitotsubashi faction.
[06:38] Sada
    That is why they suspect us.
[06:42] Sada
    The Mimawarigumi have strong ties
    to the Hitotsubashi faction.
[06:47] Sada
    They may attempt to make
    false accusations.
[06:52] Sada
    Try not to do anything that would
    attract their attention.
[06:59] Tsu
    Shogun-sama, give me back my underwear!
[07:03] Nobu
    This doesn't seem right.
[07:04] Gin
    Any naughty underwear around shogun?
[07:06] Gin
    Ugh, this stinks!
[07:07] Sada
    Shigeshige-san...
[07:09] Sada
    Was your hair always so bushy?
[07:12] Gin
    Oh, this hair was on her underwear.
[07:14] Sada
    I don't remember that bushy object
    being in this room before.
[07:18] Nobu
    Oh, this hair was always here shogun.
[07:21] Sada
    Honestly, I can't tell if you're
    being resilient or foolish.
[07:25] Gin
    Wait, it worked?
[07:27] Sada
    But try to control yourself.
[07:31] Sada
    I've seen many people ruin
    their lives because of women.
[07:36] Sada
    Yes, beware of courtesans.
[07:41] Tsu
    My Lord.
[07:43] Tsu
    Please forgive my interruption.
[07:46] Tsu
    But there is something I must ask.
[07:48] Tsu
    Do you remember the courtesan Suzuran?
[07:53] Tsu
    No, it doesn't matter if
    you don't remember her.
[07:56] Tsu
    I just... I just...
[07:58] Sasa
    I see.
[08:00] ---
    So you want to know the
    connection between
[08:02] ---
    that courtesan and Sadasada-sama.
[08:04] Shin
    It sounded like you knew something.
[08:07] Sasa
    Let me offer you some advice.
[08:09] Sasa
    Give me your e-mail
    addresses and leave.
[08:12] Shin
    We don't have any!
[08:13] Sasa
    Become my e-mail buddies and leave.
[08:15] Kag
    We'd rather stay strangers!
[08:17] Sasa
    The courtesan who bewitched
    and toppled our very country...
[08:21] Sasa
    Stay out of this, unless you
    want to get yourself destroyed.
[08:25] Sada
    I see...
[08:27] Sada
    So Suzuran is still alive.
[08:34] Sasa
    You're right.
[08:37] Sasa
    Lady Suzuran was Sadasada-sama's
    companion when he was young.
[08:41] Sasa
    However, he wasn't the one
    who fell for her charms.
[08:45] Sasa
    At the time, Yoshiwara was a place for
[08:48] ---
    high-ranking officials
    to meet and socialize,
[08:51] Sasa
    and every man who visited
    was entranced by her.
[08:57] Sada
    Suzuran...
[08:59] Sada
    How could I forget her?
[09:01] Sada
    I could never forget.
[09:04] Sada
    Those eyes shining with kindness...
[09:07] Sada
    The graceful way she moved...
[09:10] Sada
    Her silky hair...
[09:11] Sada
    Glossy lips...
[09:13] Sada
    Supple skin...
[09:18] Sada
    And...
[09:23] Sada
    ...those blood-stained hands.
[09:28] Sada
    I'd love to suck them off again.
[09:33] Sasa
    He was using her.
[09:37] Sasa
    Using her as a tool to
    topple this country.
[09:41] Sasa
    And after becoming shogun,
[09:45] Sasa
    he prepared a puppet to succeed him,
[09:48] Sasa
    so his influence in the
    palace would not wane.
[09:51] Kag
    What about that promise?!
[09:54] Sasa
    Do you really think that man
[09:56] ---
    would grant freedom to a tool
    who knew his secrets?
[09:58] Sasa
    If he ever made such a
    promise, he was lying.
[10:00] Sasa
    It was nothing more than a
    curse to maintain control
[10:04] Sasa
    over his tool.
[10:06] Sasa
    That cunning old man is not
    someone you can handle.
[10:10] Sasa
    You should go home and let
    the elites deal with this.
[10:13] Sasa
    Yoshiwara was only the beginning.
[10:15] Sasa
    This place has become
    his hunting ground.
[10:17] Sasa
    Who knows what might happen to you...
[10:25] Sasa
    I just got a curry udon
    stain out the other day.
[10:28] Sasa
    See? I told you that you
    were asking for trouble...
[10:33] Shin
    Sa-Sasaki-san!
[10:37] Sada
    Yes, I've found some more tools to use.
[10:42] Sada
    Apprehend them.
[10:43] Sada
    These criminals are guilty of
    murdering Bakufu officials
[10:47] ---
    as well as the leader
    of those snooping dogs.
[10:53] Hiji
    Sasaki was taken down.
[10:55] Hiji
    Well, his life was forfeit once he
    let murderers inside the palace.
[11:01] Hiji
    The Mimawarigumi have been
    removed from palace security.
[11:04] Hiji
    It won't be long before they disband.
[11:08] Hiji
    And we've been selected
    to take their place.
[11:11] Hiji
    But something about this stinks.
[11:13] Kondo
    Stinks?! What does?!
[11:14] Hiji
    I hear the alleged criminals in the serial
    Bakufu murders were apprehended,
[11:18] Hiji
    and they'll be executed
    tomorrow morning
[11:20] ---
    without conducting any investigation.
[11:22] Hiji
    It sounds like they're trying
    to cover something up.
[11:26] Kondo
    Oh, whew.
[11:28] Kondo
    I thought he could smell my gas.
[11:29] Hiji
    Kondo-san?
[11:30] Kondo
    R-Right!
[11:32] Kondo
    Something's not right.
[11:33] Kondo
    Let's clean up these murderers.
[11:37] Gin
    Oh! Kondo-kun! Hijikata-kun!
[11:40] Gin
    Fancy meeting you here!
[11:42] Gin
    Perfect timing!
[11:44] Gin
    I need to talk to you.
[11:47] Gin
    I'm gonna kill you, you rotten cops!
[11:49] Gin
    Don't ignore me! Hear me out!
[11:50] Hiji
    It's hopeless. That's some stubborn
    filth they're covered in.
[11:53] Kondo
    That won't ever clean off.
[11:54] Gin
    Everyone! That gorilla pooped a
    little when he farted earlier!
[11:57] Kondo
    How do you know that?!
[11:58] Oki
    It's no use, boss.
[12:02] Oki
    You picked the wrong enemy this time.
[12:05] Oki
    Nobody's going to lend
    an ear to your pleas.
[12:08] Kag
    Then rip off your ear
    and lend it to us!
[12:11] Oki
    Sorry, my ears have a prior engagement.
[12:13] Kag
    Then give me an ear of corn!
[12:14] Oki
    Oh? I see a familiar face in there.
[12:17] Oki
    That's odd. Why is there an
    elite locked up with the scum?
[12:21] Oki
    What will happen to the Mimawarigumi
    if I tell the shogun?
[12:25] Oki
    Oh, yeah.
[12:26] Oki
    Sorry, you guys are
    already finished, regardless.
[12:33] Nobu
    Hand over a Pon De Ring!
[12:35] Oki
    That's what you want?!
    You're ripping me apart!
[12:37] Kag
    Give me my dinner!
[12:40] Shin
    We really picked the wrong
    opponent this time.
[12:44] Shin
    Sasaki-san said that the palace was
    Sadasada's hunting ground now.
[12:49] Shin
    And Sasaki-san was also...
[12:51] Nobu
    He's alive.
[12:52] Nobu
    Isaburo is alive.
[12:56] Tsu
    So it turns out you were right, Gintoki.
[13:00] Tsu
    I was the one blinded by a false dream.
[13:04] Tsu
    Suzuran was waiting for a
    man that doesn't exist.
[13:08] Tsu
    She must have known
[13:10] Tsu
    that refusing Sadasada
    would mean her death.
[13:13] Tsu
    That the promise was meant
    to chain her to Yoshiwara.
[13:19] Tsu
    Suzuran wasn't waiting for anyone.
[13:22] Tsu
    She had no choice but
    to cling to her dreams.
[13:31] Gramp
    Shigeshige-sama!
[13:32] Gramp
    Please reconsider!
[13:35] Gramp
    Those people are Princess
    Soyo's friends!
[13:38] Gramp
    If you must punish someone,
[13:41] Gramp
    please slice off my ass instead!
[13:44] Shogun
    Calm down, Grampy.
[13:46] Shogun
    My uncle was the one
    who saw what happened.
[13:48] Shogun
    I know nothing.
[13:50] Gramp
    But you're the only
    one who can stop him!
[13:54] Sada
    There's no need to worry.
[13:57] Sada
    They are murderers.
[14:00] Sada
    Or are you saying that I'm lying?
[14:05] Gramp
    B-By no means...
[14:09] Sada
    Get some rest, Shigeshige-san.
[14:11] Sada
    This old man will take care
    of everything for you.
[14:18] Kon
    Lord Sadasada?!
[14:20] Kon
    Is that true?!
[14:21] Oki
    I don't know if it's true,
    but that's their story.
[14:26] Kon
    Toshi!
[14:28] Hiji
    So what?
[14:29] Hiji
    Our job is to defend Edo.
[14:32] Hiji
    It's not our problem if those pigs
    want to feed on one another.
[14:36] Kon
    But if we ignore what's happening,
[14:37] ---
    we'll be no better than them!
[14:40] Hiji
    Don't forget that those
    pigs are the only reason
[14:43] Hiji
    we country boys get to play samurai.
[14:46] Kon
    I'm not interested in being a bogus
    samurai that doesn't follow a code!
[14:50] Hiji
    We have to play bogus samurai
    if we want to defend anything!
[14:53] Kon
    Don't you realize that this is what
    we're supposed to be defending!
[14:56] Yama
    Hey! Hold on!
[14:58] Yama
    What are you two doing?!
[15:03] Gin
    Shut up!
[15:04] Gin
    I can't get any sleep, you bastards!
[15:09] Kag
    Soyo-chan!
[15:11] Gin
    Is she going to save us while
    those fools are fighting?
[15:14] Soyo
    Um, I was having trouble
    falling asleep all by myself.
[15:18] Soyo
    Can I sleep out here?
[15:21] Soyo
    I'd gotten used to Nobume-san
    sleeping with me,
[15:24] ---
    so I was too scared to fall asleep.
[15:26] Shin
    Uh, we're the ones who should
    be too scared to fall asleep.
[15:29] Soyo
    I'm a little nervous since this
    is almost like a sleepover.
[15:32] Shin
    Uh, we're the ones who
    should be nervous.
[15:34] Shin
    We're going to be executed tomorrow.
[15:36] Soyo
    Don't worry.
[15:37] Soyo
    Grampy will prove your innocence.
[15:40] Soyo
    If you still can't fall asleep...
[15:43] Soyo
    I know!
[15:44] Soyo
    I can tell you some bedtime stories
[15:47] ---
    that Grampy told me when I was little.
[15:49] Soyo
    They're so boring that you'll
    fall asleep in no time.
[15:52] Soyo
    Um...
[15:53] Soyo
    Long, long ago...
[15:55] Shin
    How boring do you expect it to be?!
[15:57] Shin
    That's rude!
[15:58] Soyo
    Long, long ago, there was
    a lord and his retainer.
[16:04] Soyo
    The lord's wife was the most
    beautiful princess in the land,
[16:08] Soyo
    and she cared about him very much.
[16:11] Soyo
    But the lord used the
    princess's feelings,
[16:14] Soyo
    threw her in prison, and forced
     her to do terrible things.
[16:19] Soyo
    The princess could only cry
    in her prison every night.
[16:23] Soyo
    The retainer felt sorry for the princess
    and often came to wipe her tears.
[16:30] Soyo
    Yes, for he had fallen in
    love with the princess.
[16:37] Soyo
    However...
[16:39] Sada
    Dispose of Suzuran.
[16:42] Soyo
    The retainer would be
    killed if he didn't obey.
[16:44] Soyo
    But he couldn't bring himself
    to kill the woman he loved.
[16:49] Soyo
    Instead, they made a promise.
[16:52] Soyo
    They would escape together.
[16:54] Soyo
    "I will take you with me on the
    night of the next full moon."
[16:58] Soyo
    And then they exchanged a pinky swear.
[17:02] Soyo
    But he never returned,
[17:07] Soyo
    for the lord already knew about them.
[17:09] Sada
    How long will Suzuran wait for you,
[17:14] Sada
    a man who's long forgotten his promise?
[17:18] Sada
    The woman will wait for
    the rest of her life
[17:20] ---
    for a man who will never come,
[17:21] Sada
    while the man will live
    the rest of his life
[17:24] ---
    with the pain of breaking his promise.
[17:27] Sada
    A beautiful story, yes?
[17:30] Soyo
    If the retainer were to go see the
    princess, she would be killed.
[17:33] Soyo
    Their promise was transformed
    into a chain heavier than death.
[17:37] Soyo
    So he swore to himself.
[17:39] Soyo
    It didn't matter how many
    full moons came and went.
[17:42] Soyo
    It didn't matter if they
    were covered in wrinkles.
[17:46] Soyo
    It didn't matter if the
    princess forgot about him.
[17:49] Soyo
    He would live until the day he met her.
[17:52] Soyo
    And so, he continues to live by
    crawling on his three limbs.
[17:58] Sada
    Maizo, I heard something
    fascinating that
[18:01] ---
    I wanted to pass on to you.
[18:03] Sada
    Suzuran is still living in Yoshiwara.
[18:06] Sada
    But she won't survive much longer.
[18:09] Sada
    Do you wish to see her?
[18:11] Sada
    How many full moons have come and gone?
[18:14] Sada
    I suppose it's time to forgive you.
[18:17] Sada
    I'll let you go see her.
[18:19] Sada
    Take responsibility for inviting
    those criminals into the palace.
[18:24] Sada
    Disembowel yourself.
[18:26] Sada
    Suzuran will be waiting
    for you in hell.
[18:30] Soyo
    And the princess and retainer were...
[18:33] Tsu
    Stop.
[18:35] Tsu
    We've heard enough, Your Highness.
[18:37] Soyo
    You weren't able to fall asleep?
[18:39] Gin
    No.
[18:40] Gin
    We already know the rest of the story.
[18:44] Shin
    Can you open the door
    now, Your Highness?
[18:47] Soyo
    Huh? How?
[18:48] Kag
    Over there.
[18:50] Kag
    They were tossed in when you entered.
[18:56] Kon
    What are you waiting for?
[18:58] Kon
    Come out here. It's time
    for your execution.
[19:01] Kon
    Put on your execution clothes.
[19:08] Oki
    Boss, don't forget you
    have an appointment
[19:10] ---
    with the executioner's block.
[19:11] Oki
    Make sure you come back
    with your head attached
[19:15] Oki
    since we'll need to chop it off.
[19:16] Hiji
    Try to commit a crime that's
    worthy of this punishment.
[19:20] Hiji
    What crime will you be guilty of?
[19:23] Gin
    The crime of
[19:25] Gin
    ripping off a lord's
    topknot down there.
[19:28] Kon
    This may be the last
    time we send him off.
[19:33] Nobu
    The same goes for you.
[19:35] Nobu
    Now that you've sided with
    us, there's no turning back.
[19:38] Hiji
    Don't worry about that.
[19:40] Hiji
    If you cause an uproar, that old man
    will start to show his true colors.
[19:45] Hiji
    Once there's no one left to
    interfere, we'll grill him good.
[19:50] Oki
    So you can go die in peace.
[19:53] Oki
    Or do you want me to dispatch you now,
[19:58] Oki
    murderer?
[20:05] Nobu
    Remember this.
[20:07] Nobu
    You have no allies in this palace.
[20:11] Nobu
    If you aren't prepared to take over
    this country, you'll all die.
[20:14] Nobu
    The only difference is that
[20:16] ---
    you'll be eliminated by
    that old man instead of me.
[20:19] Nobu
    If you want to join in the
    battle for this nation,
[20:22] Nobu
    forget about anything
    being black or white.
[20:28] Sada
    What's going on?
[20:30] Sada
    Are there more bandits about?
[20:40] Gin
    Zura would love to see this.
[20:45] Gin
    Who would have thought we'd be trying
[20:47] ---
    to seize this country for
    the sake of an old woman?
[20:50] Shin
    This makes us wanted criminals.
[20:54] Shin
    Sis won't be happy.
[20:55] Kag
    Don't worry, sister lover.
[20:57] Kag
    If there's no place for us
    on Earth, we'll go to space.
[21:01] Gin
    Odd Jobs in space?
[21:03] Gin
    That doesn't sound too bad.
[21:05] Tsu
    The independent city Yoshiwara
    will keep you safe.
[21:09] Gin
    Odd Jobs in Yoshiwara?
[21:12] Tsu
    No, there's a gay bar
    that's understaffed.
[21:15] Soyo
    That means we'll be seizing your
    balls after you seize this country.
[21:19] Kag
    Ow!
[21:21] Kag
    Why did you hit me?!
[21:22] Gin
    Were you the one who
    brought her with us?
[21:24] Gin
    Were you the one who taught
    her those dirty jokes?
[21:26] Kag
    It's your fault for telling dirty
    jokes to innocent little girls!
[21:30] Kag
    Girls our age absorb
    everything like sponges!
[21:33] Gin
    A sponge?! You're more like a
    dirty rag soaked in milk!
[21:35] Kag
    Shut up, toilet paper!
[21:37] Gin
    I at least deserve to be called a rag!
    A rag used to wipe asses!
[21:47] Tsu
    Are you sure about this?
[21:50] Tsu
    You'll be sacrificing
    everything for Yoshiwara.
[21:52] Gin
    It's too late.
[21:55] Gin
    I already made a promise.
[21:57] Tsu
    I see.
[21:59] Tsu
    In that case...
[22:01] Tsu
    Promise me this.
[22:03] Tsu
    We will all return alive.
[22:10] Gin
    It's a promise.
SIGN    To be continued...
[23:45] Gin
    I'm starting to feel the pressure.
[23:47] Gin
    There was the One Piece film
    at the end of the year.
[23:49] Gin
    Then you've got Hunter x Hunter and
    Dragon Ball films in spring, and us in summer.
[23:52] Kag
    We should ask TV Tokyo to show our
    movie with the Pokemon movie.
[23:57] Gin
    That's it!
[23:58] Shin
    That's it, my ass!
SIGN    Five Pinkies
SIGN    The Bakufu army stands in the way.
SIGN    Overwhelming manpower!! Firepower!!
SIGN    Our five heroes have made a promise
SIGN    to seize this country!!

259 - Five Pinkies

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Sada
    These criminals are guilty
    of murdering Bakufu officials
[00:04] ---
     as well as the leader
    of those snooping dogs.
[00:09] Tsu
    Stop.
[00:10] Tsu
    We've heard enough, Your Highness.
[00:12] Gin
    We already know the rest of the story.
[00:14] Hiji
    Try to commit a crime that's
    worthy of this punishment.
[00:18] Hiji
    What crime will you be guilty of?
[00:21] Gin
    The crime of
[00:22] Gin
    ripping off a lord's
    topknot down there.
[00:24] Tsu
    Are you sure about this?
[00:26] Tsu
    You'll be sacrificing
    everything for Yoshiwara.
[00:28] Gin
    It's too late.
[00:30] Gin
    I already made a promise.
[00:33] Tsu
    I see.
[00:34] Tsu
    In that case...
[00:36] Tsu
    Promise me this.
[00:37] Tsu
    We will all return alive.
SIGN    Five Pinkies
[02:17] Gin
    I promise.
[02:19] Gin
    We'll bring the old man
    back to Suzuran together.
[02:22] Nobu
    Finished with your last farewells?
[02:26] Shin
    Nobume-san?
[02:27] Shin
    Are you joining us?
[02:29] Nobu
    As a survivor of the Mimawarigumi,
[02:31] Nobu
    I must fulfill my mission.
[02:34] Nobu
    Besides...
[02:35] Nobu
    I'll get to cut people up.
[02:39] Kag
    Hey!
[02:41] Nobu
    Out of the way, mobs.
[02:43] Kag
    Or else we kill the princess!
[02:44] All
    Your Highness!
[02:46] A
    How dare you disrespect Her Highness?!
[02:48] A
    A hundred executions wouldn't
    be enough to punish this crime!
[02:51] Kag
    Shut the hell up!
[02:52] Kag
    Zip your stinkin' mouths!
[02:54] Nobu
    Every time someone speaks,
    I cut off a finger.
[02:58] Shin
    Gin-san, assuming that
    we manage to survive,
[03:01] Shin
    we won't be able to
    live in Edo anymore.
[03:03] Soyo
    H-Help!
[03:05] Soyo
    Why is this happening to me?!
[03:07] Shin
    This is the only time her
    acting has been believable!
[03:10] Shin
    How are we supposed to explain this?!
[03:13] Nobu
    She said to zip your stinkin' mouth.
[03:15] Soyo
    That applies to me, too?
[03:16] Nobu
    How many times did you speak?
[03:17] Soyo
    I-I don't know...
[03:19] Nobu
    Okay...
[03:20] Nobu
    I don't feel like counting,
    so I'll do this.
[03:22] Shin
    What?!
[03:23] All
    Your Highness!
[03:24] Nobu
    Okay, you talked again,
    so one more time.
[03:26] A
    We understand! Let them pass!
[03:28] Nobu
    Okay, you talked again,
    so one more time.
[03:30] Shin
    Enough! That's enough!
[03:34] Soyo
    That went well.
[03:36] Shin
    No, that did not go well, Your Highness.
[03:39] Shin
    The damage to our reputation
    is irreparable now.
[03:41] Soy
    I was really nervous, but it was funny
[03:43] ---
    how everyone was so surprised, right?
[03:46] Both
    Right.
[03:47] Shin
    The Three Sadisteers can shut up!
[03:49] Tsu
    However, it would be dangerous to
    continue this charade, Your Highness.
[03:51] Tsu
    Please find a place to hide.
[03:53] Soyo
    Please let me help you see this through.
[03:57] Soyo
    I didn't know what I was doing,
[03:59] ---
    but I was the one chaining
    Grampy inside the castle.
[04:02] Soyo
    Grampy probably wanted
    to leave the castle
SIGN    All right!
[04:06] ---
    far more than I did, but
    I never noticed a thing...
[04:08] [SONG] Caption
    Behave yourself,
    Your Highness!
[04:09] Soyo
    He was always watching over me.
[04:11] Soyo
    So it's my turn to help him.
[04:14] Soyo
    Even if it means he'll
    scold me for misbehaving.
[04:17] Kag
    Soyo-chan...
[04:18] Soyo
    Let's hurry.
[04:19] Soyo
    My uncle is over here.
[04:22] Shin
    Your Highness?!
[04:24] Shin
    Wait!
[04:25] Shin
    She just knocked herself out
    after saying she wanted to help!
SIGN    Odd Jobs
[04:28] Shin
    This looks like a murder scene now!
[04:30] Shin
    And why did she write Odd
    Jobs as her dying message?!
[04:34] Tsu
    We can't let anyone see this!
[04:36] Nobu
    It's faster to destroy the evidence.
[04:37] Tsu
    You're too fast!
[04:39] Gin
    Oops, I really embarrassed myself.
[04:41] Gin
    Wait.
[04:42] Gin
    My embarrassment is faster
    than my mouth can move.
[04:45] Tsu
    Enough with the Ikkoku-dou!
[04:47] All
    What have you bastards done?!
[04:50] Shin
    There's a whole horde coming for us!
[04:52] Kag
    Hold on, Soyo-chan!
[04:54] A
    Kill every single one of the rebels!
[04:57] A
    No mercy for the women and children!
[05:02] Kag
    Women and children?
[05:04] Kag
    That's some big talk!
[05:07] Nobu
    Naturally, that scum
    would be served by scum.
[05:10] Nobu
    This nation has no respect for women.
[05:17] All
    Open fire!
[05:20] Tsu
    Show that you can stop
    the women you sneer at!
[05:25] Tsu
    Show that you can defend the castle
[05:27] ---
    built upon the tears of those women!
[05:30] Tsu
    Since you've forgotten about them,
[05:33] Tsu
    we'll have to remind you!
[05:35] A
    Kill them!
[05:44] Tsu
    These women
[05:46] Tsu
    have come to topple a county.
[05:50] Gin
    Good grief.
[05:51] Gin
    We've got three nation
    breakers with us.
[05:53] Shin
    That sounds tougher than
    taking on the shogun.
[05:57] Gin
    I'll give you some advice.
    Call for reinforcements.
[06:00] Gin
    You might be the shogun's
    personal guards,
[06:03] Gin
    but you're probably too soft from
    all the peace and quiet to take us on.
[06:07] Gin
    Meanwhile, we're still at war,
[06:10] Gin
    fighting for our lives every day
    against those psychos!
[06:33] Kag
    Gin-chan, how many do we each take?
[06:36] Gin
    One hundred, two hundred...
[06:38] Gin
    Forget it. I'm putting myself to sleep.
[06:41] Gin
    Listen up.
[06:42] Gin
    Stay close together.
[06:44] Gin
    Trust the rest of us to watch your back
[06:47] Gin
    and focus on the enemies
    in front of you.
[06:49] Gin
    As long as you're standing,
    we're all standing.
[06:53] Gin
    Become the blade for
    taking down that wall.
[06:56] Gin
    We're gonna crush the
    shogun's silly toy box!
[07:00] Gin
    It's time to seize
[07:01] Gin
    this country!
[07:03] A
    S-Stop them!
[07:05] A
    Form a wall!
[07:06] A
    We can't let these rebels
    get any closer to our lor—
[07:10] Gin
    Weak!
[07:11] Gin
    Weaker than Zazami Original!
[07:14] Gin
    And you call yourselves
    the shogun's samurai?!
[07:19] A
    W-We can't stop them!
[07:20] A
    Not from the front, the
    right, the left, the rear!
[07:24] A
    There's no opening!
[07:25] A
    The five rebels are
    like a giant bullet!
[07:28] B
    Move!
[07:30] B
    We're going to shoot
    down these crazy fools!
[07:37] B
    Fire!
[07:38] B
    Fire! Fire! Fire!
[07:49] B
    W-Watch our flanks!
[08:01] A
    Second round loaded!
[08:03] A
    Blow 'em to smithereens!
[08:23] B
    Again!
[08:24] B
    Hurry up with the next shot!
[08:28] A
    W-Wait! Our comrades are inside!
[08:34] Shin
    That was mean, Kagura-chan!
[08:35] Shin
    Why am I the only one
    getting this treatment?!
[08:37] A
    Shit! They took the cannon!
[08:46] Gin
    We finally made it to
    the shogun's place.
[08:49] Kag
    Huh? I don't see an intercom.
[08:51] Gin
    Oh well.
[08:53] Gin
    We'll have to use this.
[08:54] A
    Wait!
[08:55] A
    Not that!
[08:56] A
    Anything but that!
[08:57] Gin
    Shogun-sama!
[08:58] Gin
    Come out and play!
[09:09] Gin
    Sorry to keep you waiting, Shogun-sama.
[09:12] Gin
    The #1 delivery lady, the courtesan
    Suzuran, has come to see you.
[09:17] Gin
    And it's too late to request a change.
[09:19] Gin
    Did you wash that filthy ass of yours?
[09:22] Gin
    You won't be getting any sleep tonight.
[09:27] Sada
    Life is filled with surprises.
[09:29] Sada
    You must be the first in
    history to insult the Bakufu
[09:32] ---
    and sully the Tokugawa name
    in such a fashion.
[09:37] Sada
    If you intended to beg for mercy,
    you've only added to your crimes.
[09:42] Nobu
    You are the criminal here.
[09:45] Nobu
    I, Imai Nobume, vice-captain
    of the Mimawarigumi,
[09:49] ---
    know everything you've done.
[09:51] Nobu
    Tokugawa Sadasada,
[09:53] Nobu
    you are under arrest for the
    assassination of Bakufu officials.
[09:57] Sada
    A surviving Hitotsubashi
    dog is talking about
[10:01] ---
    judging me in a court of law?
[10:04] Sada
    How can you judge me when
    I rule this country?
[10:08] ---
    When I am the law?
[10:11] Tsu
    If we cannot judge you on the surface,
[10:13] Tsu
    we will judge you underground.
[10:15] Tsu
    The woman's tears you
    spilled in Yoshiwara...
[10:18] Tsu
    The man's blood you spilled...
[10:19] Tsu
    The heavens may forgive you,
[10:22] Tsu
    but the law in Yoshiwara,
    Lady Death, will not.
[10:27] Tsu
    Release that man.
[10:28] Tsu
    Where did you take him?
[10:32] Tsu
    I just asked you a question!
[10:42] Oboro
    When disaster strikes,
[10:44] Oboro
    some choose to curse the heavens.
[10:47] Oboro
    When misfortune befalls you,
[10:50] Oboro
    it is the will of the heavens.
[10:52] Oboro
    The fate the heavens have dealt.
[10:54] Oboro
    You must silently accept that fate.
[10:57] Oboro
    Our blades serve as the
    voice of the heavens.
[11:00] Kag
    Who are they?
[11:01] Nobu
    Be careful. That's not
    your ordinary cult.
[11:04] Nobu
    They're a group of assassins
    who have served
[11:07] ---
    the rulers of this nation from
    the shadows for a long time.
[11:11] Nobu
    Men of taboo who were eliminated
    from central government
[11:14] Nobu
    when we entered a period of peace.
[11:16] Nobu
    When the Oniwabanshu was disbanded,
[11:20] Nobu
    Sadasada turned to them
    for his shady business.
[11:23] Oboro
    We are the Yatagarasu for the heavens.
[11:26] Oboro
    The Tenshoin Naraku.
[11:29] Nobu
    Oboro...
[11:30] Nobu
    The leader of the Tenshoin and
    the strongest Naraku warrior.
[11:34] Nobu
    That man is involved in this?
[11:36] Sada
    The one to judge is heaven.
    In other words, the shogun.
[11:40] Sada
    The earth-crawlers are the
    ones who are judged.
[11:43] Sada
    That is how the world works.
[11:45] Sada
    You are only allowed to
    look up at the heavens.
[11:49] Sada
    However, you need not lament.
[11:51] Sada
    The heavens do not
    always bring disaster.
[11:56] Sada
    The heavens also bring good fortune.
[12:00] Sada
    I believe you were
    looking for that man.
[12:03] Shin
    Gr-Grampy!
[12:05] Sada
    If you can escape alive, you will be
    able to reunite him with Suzuran.
[12:09] Sada
    Though I doubt he will survive
    long enough to reach Yoshiwara.
[12:13] Sada
    Even if he does survive,
[12:18] Sada
    he's lost the pinky he swore on
    and the arm he used to hold her.
[12:24] Sada
    He should just end his miserable life.
[12:27] Sada
    So much for loyalty when he's
    betrayed me not once, but twice.
[12:31] Sada
    The heavens are punishing
    him as a result.
[12:35] Sada
    And now he's literally an
    earth-crawling worm.
[13:01] Gin
    Hey.
[13:03] Gin
    The pinky he swore on is still around.
[13:07] Gin
    He's got five pinkies right
    here that are gonna drag you
[13:11] ---
    from heaven to hell.
[13:29] Grampy
    Wh-What are you...?
[13:31] Tsu
    You've endured so much.
[13:34] Tsu
    You've been through so much.
[13:36] Tsu
    I'm sorry that you had to wait so long.
[13:41] Tsu
    But there's nothing to worry about.
[13:43] Tsu
    The moon you have longed for
[13:45] Tsu
    has risen.
[13:47] Tsu
    In the land where you once made a vow,
[13:50] Tsu
    there is a light that will
    shine through any darkness.
[13:54] Tsu
    This moon will never fall.
[13:58] Tsu
    Shinpachi, Kagura, please guide him.
[14:01] Tsu
    We'll bring up the rear.
[14:03] Nobu
    I'm allowed to cut down
    whoever I want now, right?
[14:06] Tsu
    Yes, do as you please.
[14:08] Tsu
    In the morning, this will have
    been nothing more than a dream.
[14:16] Sada
    You're buying time for
    an old man to escape?
[14:19] Sada
    Do you really think you can escape
[14:22] Sada
    from my grasp?
[14:25] Gin
    I'm not running away.
[14:28] Gin
    Is it gonna be the sun or the
    moon that sits up in the sky?
[14:32] Gin
    Let's settle this once and for all.
[14:34] Gin
    How about it, heavenly errand boy?
[14:47] Tsu
    Let's go!
[15:56] Tsu
    What are you doing, Gintoki?!
[15:57] Tsu
    Pull yourself together!
[15:58] Nobu
    If you want to die, I'll
    cut you up right now.
[16:01] Nobu
    You were hit in a pressure point.
[16:03] Nobu
    By a poisoned needle.
[16:05] Gin
    Is it bad?
[16:06] Nobu
    It'll paralyze you,
[16:08] Nobu
    and kill you if the poison isn't removed.
[16:14] Sada
    You seem to be struggling.
[16:17] Sada
    It's rare to see someone
    last so long against you, Oboro.
[16:26] Oboro
    Actually, it's happened once before.
[16:30] Oboro
    There was a demon who chose
    to oppose the heavens.
[16:40] Oboro
    You still have that same
    look in your eyes,
[16:44] Oboro
    White Yaksha.
[16:45] Gin
    Yo—
[16:48] Gin
    You're...
[16:50] Tsu
    Gintoki?
[16:51] Sada
    Oh? Do you know him, Oboro?
[16:55] Oboro
    My Lord, he is an orphan
    of the Kansei purge.
[16:58] Tsu
    Kansei purge?
[17:01] Sada
    Are you from Yoshiwara?
[17:03] Sada
    Then you wouldn't know.
[17:06] Sada
    The Joi war...
[17:07] Sada
    When the nation was opened
    up, the ignorant samurai
[17:11] ---
    accused the Bakufu of selling
    the country and revolted.
[17:17] Sada
    As our relationship with the Amanto
    soured, we put down the samurai.
[17:22] Sada
    Ever since, this nation has
    been in a state of civil war.
[17:27] Sada
    As the war dragged on, the Amanto
    began intervening in domestic affairs
[17:31] ---
    under the pretense
    of cleansing the rebels.
[17:36] Sada
    Ironic that the Joi revolt led
    to increased Amanto influence.
[17:41] Sada
    And then the Tendoshu instructed
    the Bakufu to initiate
[17:45] ---
    the deadliest cleansing of the
    century, the Kansei purge.
[17:49] Sada
    Every last Joi rebel, from
    the minor agitators to
[17:53] ---
    the public officials, was
    targeted as part of the purge.
[17:57] Sada
    The brutal crackdown led to a
    sharp decline in Joi activity.
[18:03] Sada
    Oboro and his brethren were
    instrumental in that process.
[18:08] Sada
    They were led by his predecessor,
[18:12] ---
    but he was every bit as
    skilled in the martial arts.
[18:17] Oboro
    My Lord, that wasn't the
    end of the samurai.
[18:22] Oboro
    While many samurai threw away their
    swords after losing their leaders,
[18:26] Oboro
    some were plotting to rescue
    one of those captive leaders.
[18:31] Oboro
    They were these men, the ones
    known as the last samurai.
[18:38] Oboro
    They were the students of
[18:40] ---
    the evil criminal who dared
    to oppose the heavens,
[18:43] Oboro
    Yoshida Shoyo.
[18:45] Oboro
    His students took up their swords
    to rescue their teacher.
[18:51] Tsu
    G-Gintoki?
[18:53] Tsu
    You lost your teacher?
[18:56] Oboro
    Do you recall that name, my Lord?
[19:00] Sada
    Yoshida Shoyo...
[19:03] Sada
    Was there such a person?
[19:07] Sada
    Do you think I remember the corpses of
[19:09] ---
    every worm I stomped on my way to power?
[19:11] Sada
    If he happened to be a major
    criminal, I might remember him.
[19:14] Sada
    What was his crime?
[19:18] Oboro
    Actually, I can't recall either.
[19:22] Oboro
    I do remember that he
    taught sword and pen
[19:25] ---
    to some children in the country.
[19:27] Sada
    That was it?
[19:29] Oboro
    However, my Lord, we
    were told to crush such gatherings
[19:33] ---
    as they might foment rebellion.
[19:38] Sada
    I see. And I was correct to order that.
[19:42] Sada
    Yoshida Shoyo...
[19:43] Sada
    His crime was creating
     dissenters like him.
[19:51] Tsu
    Wait, Gintoki!
[19:59] Oboro
    Why is the demon who battled the
    heavens and fell to the ground
[20:03] Oboro
    still wandering around here?
[20:09] Oboro
    Why is the demon who lost everything
    to the heavens still howling at them?
[20:15] Oboro
    You, all of you, should
    have learned your lesson.
[20:19] Oboro
    You can shout, you can scream,
[20:22] Oboro
    but your voices will
    never reach the heavens.
[20:26] Oboro
    And neither will your sobs.
[20:32] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[20:37] Oboro
    Will you make the same mistake
    again, White Yaksha?
[20:41] Oboro
    You can sit there and watch
    until you bleed to death.
[20:44] Oboro
    As everything you tried to
    protect is destroyed again.
[20:50] Oboro
    Shoyo is also watching
[20:53] Oboro
    as the student he sacrificed
    his life to protect
[20:55] Oboro
    falls apart without protecting a thing.
[21:03] Gin
    Don't you leave...
[21:06] Gin
    Don't you leave!
[21:09] Gin
    You bastards are...
[21:18] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[21:27] Shin
    Kagura-chan!
[21:29] All
    Die!
[21:38] Gin
    Move...
[21:43] Gin
    Move!
[21:48] Gin
    Please...
[21:50] Gin
    Move!
[22:00] Kondo
    Excuse me.
[22:01] Kondo
    What are you doing here
    so late at night?
[22:04] Sasa
    Excuse me, could you please
    show me your license?
[22:08] Kondo
    Good evening.
[22:10] Sasa
    This is the police.
SIGN    To be continued...
[23:45] Kag
    I can't wait for summer!
[23:48] Kag
    I'm so excited!
[23:49] Gin
    No kidding. I'm getting
    goosebumps already.
[23:52] Shin
    Yup, when we go to the
    theater this summer...
[23:54] Both
    How many Pokemon will we get?
[23:56] Shin
    You're excited about that one?!
SIGN    Pinky Swear
SIGN    The situation is looking grim
SIGN    when the Shinsengumi and Mimawarigumi arrive!!
SIGN    The revolt that began with five people
SIGN    will reach its climax next week!!

260 - Pinky Swear

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Oboro
    Shoyo is also watching
[00:07] Oboro
    as the student he sacrificed
    his life to protect
[00:10] Oboro
    falls apart without protecting a thing.
[00:14] Gin
    Don't you leave...
[00:16] Gin
    Don't you leave!
[00:19] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[00:30] Kondo
    Excuse me.
[00:31] Kondo
    What are you doing here
    so late at night?
[00:34] Sasa
    Excuse me, could you please
    show me your license?
[02:09] Oboro
    Please hurry, My Lord.
[02:11] Sada
    What's the matter, Oboro?
[02:12] Sada
    I was hoping to watch those
    rebels meet their demise.
[02:19] Oboro
    The crows are astir.
[02:21] Oboro
    It appears that there's
    been a shift in the wind.
[02:24] Sada
    What are you talking about?
[02:26] Sada
    Those rebels are already...
[02:33] Kondo
    Good evening.
[02:35] Sasa
    This is the police.
[02:37] Sasa
    What are you people doing?
[02:41] Sasa
    If you screw up...
[02:43] Kondo
    We'll lose our heads!
[02:46] Gin
    Y-You guys...
SIGN    Pinky Swear
[02:58] A
    I-Impossible!
[02:59] A
    Why are the Mimawarigumi
    inside the palace?!
[03:01] B
    What's going on here?!
[03:04] B
    You serve the Bakufu!
[03:06] B
    You're police officers, yet you assist
    the rebels, you traitorous scum?!
[03:10] Kondo
    Assist the rebels?
[03:12] Kondo
    Don't make false accusations.
[03:16] Kondo
    There was an order to execute
    those criminals in the morning.
[03:20] Kondo
    If you're trying to dispatch
    them before the sun is up,
[03:24] Kondo
    you would be the ones
    defying the government.
[03:28] Kondo
    Our lord ordered us to guard
[03:30] ---
    the criminals until the
    execution takes place.
[03:33] Kondo
    In other words, it is our duty
    to protect them until morning.
[03:40] Shin
    K-Kondo-san...
[03:42] A
    You rural samurai don't get to talk!
[03:44] A
    Have you forgotten who let you
    country bumpkins keep your swords?!
[03:48] A
    And now you're biting the
    hand that feeds you!
[03:51] A
    You're lower than rebel
    scum, you animals!
[03:53] Oki
    I'm fine with being an animal.
[03:55] Oki
    Beats being a dog that wags
    its tail at fat pigs.
[04:00] Oki
    When a fat pig is lying
    on the ground before you,
[04:03] Oki
    it gets eaten by
[04:05] Oki
    the wolves.
[04:07] Kag
    Don't call me a pig,
    you punk Chihuahua!
[04:09] Oki
    I wasn't talking about you, Miss Piggy!
[04:11] Kag
    It was about me!
[04:12] A
    Were you the ones who let the
    Mimawarigumi inside the palace?!
[04:15] A
    Has Sasaki joined forces with the
    Shinsengumi to start a coup d'etat?!
[04:22] Hiji
    Who joined forces with who
    to start a what d'etat?
[04:27] Hiji
    Why don't you repeat that?
[04:29] A
    Have you...
[04:31] Hiji
    Eh? I couldn't hear you. What was that?
[04:33] B
    ...and the Mimawarigumi...
[04:35] Hiji
    I said that I can't hear you! Yell it out!
[04:39] C
    ...joined forces?
[04:40] Hiji
    Can't hear a thing! And I'm
    not interested in hearing you!
[04:43] Hiji
    You make me want to throw up!
[04:44] Hiji
    Who would join forces
    with those losers?!
[04:46] Kondo
    Calm down, Toshi.
[04:47] Hiji
    Okay, Kondo-san.
[04:48] Hiji
    We've got them inside the palace.
[04:50] Hiji
    Let's torch 'em with Sadasada!
[04:52] Kondo
    Wait! That wasn't part of the plan!
[04:54] Kondo
    Hell, you're sounding
    like one of the Joi now!
[04:55] A
    Forget it! Kill 'em all!
[04:59] Sasa
    Oh, it appears that
    they've gotten started.
[05:03] Sasa
    As you can see, the palace has
    been surrounded by us elites.
[05:08] Sasa
    I told them to drop their weapons
    and surrender, but I was lying.
[05:13] Sasa
    I've always wanted to say that.
[05:16] Sasa
    Please don't drop your weapons.
[05:19] Sasa
    It would look bad if the cops
[05:21] ---
    were to slaughter a
    bunch of unarmed people.
[05:25] Gin
    Y-You bastard...
[05:27] Nobu
    You're late.
[05:28] Sasa
    I'm so sorry, Nobume-san.
[05:31] Sasa
    Thank you for carrying out your
    mission alone while I was gone.
[05:36] Sasa
    Here's a donut for you.
[05:40] Sasa
    You see, being an elite, I was
    able to avoid a lethal blow,
[05:44] Sasa
    but it took a while to remove
    the poison from my body.
[05:46] Sasa
    Well, it was still easier than
    removing a curry udon stain.
[05:52] Sasa
    And it appears that you took good
    care of our Nobume, Sakata-san.
[05:57] Sasa
    I owe you now.
[06:00] Nobu
    They only got in my way.
[06:02] Sasa
    You can't blame them.
[06:04] Sasa
    Nobume-san, they're ordinary
    people, unlike us elites.
[06:09] Sasa
    But it appears that he won't be
    of any more use at this point.
[06:13] Gin
    That's bullshit.
[06:16] Gin
    The elite must be really
    special to need help
[06:19] ---
    from the ordinary to make it back here.
[06:22] Sasa
    It wasn't by choice.
[06:25] Sasa
    A certain person requested
    that we work together.
[06:28] Sasa
    And we are simply using each
    other to ensure our survival.
[06:33] Sasa
    The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
[06:35] Sasa
    Oh, excuse me.
[06:37] Sasa
    That's probably too difficult for
    you ordinary folk to understand.
[06:41] Sasa
    Essentially, it's like Nobita and
    Gian in the Doraemon movies.
[06:45] Sasa
    Two rivals who will use each other
     to achieve the same purpose
[06:50] ---
    when faced with a crisis.
[06:53] Gin
    Doraemon isn't such a dark story.
[06:56] Sasa
    In other words...
[07:04] Sasa
    Sakata-san, you are useless trash now.
[07:09] Sasa
    Now that I've disposed of that
    garbage, let's clean this place up.
[07:17] Tsu
    Bastard!
[07:21] Tsu
    Gintoki!
[07:22] Tsu
    Hang in there!
[07:23] Tsu
    Hey, Ginto—
[07:32] Tsu
    Gintoki, you...
[07:35] Tsu
    What is this?
[07:36] Sasa
    It's a form of acupuncture.
[07:38] Sasa
    His body will still feel numb for a while,
[07:40] Sasa
    but at least he'll be able to move.
[07:43] Sasa
    I also injected some serum into him.
[07:45] Sasa
    The elite never miss a step.
[07:48] Sasa
    Consider my debt paid.
[07:51] Sasa
    Now, go back to the
    other ordinary people.
[07:54] Sasa
    If you stick around, you'll end up
    being taken out with the trash.
[07:59] Gin
    Don't make me laugh.
[08:02] Gin
    You're not giving me any interest
    after taking this long to get here?!
[08:07] Sasa
    Begging for more again?
[08:09] Sasa
    What do you want?
[08:17] Gin
    Sadasada's head.
[08:19] Sasa
    Good grief.
[08:21] Sasa
    That's a lot of interest.
[08:25] Gin
    Nah, his head's worth nothing.
[08:35] Sasa
    I have an order for the Mimawarigumi.
[08:37] Sasa
    All elites will begin supporting
    that ordinary man.
[08:41] Sasa
    On our pride as elites, we must not
    allow a single person to go upstairs.
[08:48] Tsu
    You won't listen if I tell you that
    your body can't take any more.
[08:52] Tsu
    Then I'm coming with you.
[08:53] Tsu
    I won't let you break our promise.
[08:55] Tsu
    That goes for you and Maizo.
[08:58] Nobu
    Time for the last stage.
[09:00] Nobu
    I won't let you hog the glory.
[09:04] Nobu
    The last bite of a donut
    is always the best.
[09:18] Sada
    What's going on here?
[09:21] Oboro
    The Shinsengumi and Mimawarigumi,
[09:23] ---
    the two largest police forces
    in Edo, have joined forces.
[09:27] Sada
    I was told that they were rivals.
[09:31] Oboro
    It would seem that someone
    has brought them together.
[09:35] Oboro
    The ship will be here soon.
[09:36] Oboro
    You should escape, for your own safety.
[09:40] Oboro
    My Lord.
[09:41] Sada
    Are they serious about
    taking over this country?
[09:45] Sada
    In that case, I must respond.
[09:50] Sada
    Summon every remaining police
    force to the palace.
[09:55] Sada
    We'll crush them with all of our might.
[10:03] A
    Wh-What's happening?!
[10:05] B
    B-Big trouble!
[10:06] B
    There are armies attacking
    the north and south gates!
[10:08] A
    Impossible! Who are they?!
[10:10] Matsu
    Listen up!
[10:11] Matsu
    Clear me a path in three seconds
[10:13] Matsu
    or else I blow down the gates.
[10:15] Matsu
    One.
[10:19] A
    What happened to two and three?!
[10:21] Matsu
    Couldn't tell you.
[10:22] ---
    A man only needs the number
    one to get through life.
[10:27] A
    Th-The entire police force?!
[10:30] A
    Impossible!
[10:31] A
    The police are rebelling?!
[10:34] A
    That's absolutely absurd!
[10:36] A
    This is no uprising!
[10:38] A
    Nobody's capable of bringing
    all these men together!
[10:42] Kondo
    There's one person who can do that.
[10:44] Kondo
    One person capable of ordering
    the police, or anyone, around.
[10:48] Kondo
    You still don't understand
    what this is, Lord Sadasada?
[11:06] Shige
    You are the traitor who has betrayed
[11:08] Shige
    this country.
[11:10] Sada
    Shigeshige... So you're behind this.
[11:13] A
    My Lord! What are you doing here?!
[11:17] Shige
    Lower your weapons.
[11:19] Shige
    We've wasted too much time fighting.
[11:21] Shige
    You men are valuable soldiers
    who defend this country.
[11:25] Shige
    I will not allow you to
    throw your lives away.
[11:28] A
    B-But, My Lord...
[11:29] A
    We have orders from Sadasada-sama.
[11:31] Shige
    Were you not listening?
[11:34] Shige
    I told you to drop your weapons.
[11:50] Shige
    Will you clear a path for me?
[11:57] A
    My Lord?!
[11:57] A
    You mustn't!
[11:59] A
    They're rebel scum who
    wronged our country!
[12:01] A
    It's dangerous to approach them!
[12:07] Shin
    Sh-Shogun-sama...
[12:10] Shige
    My shortcomings have caused
    you so much suffering.
[12:13] Shige
    Let me offer you my gratitude.
[12:15] Shige
    Thank you for defending
    my loyal retainer.
[12:20] Shige
    If it weren't for you, I would have...
[12:23] Shige
    We would have allowed the beloved
    man who raised us to die.
[12:28] Soyo
    Grampy!
[12:32] Mai
    Y-Your Highness...
[12:33] Shige
    Grampy, I'm sorry.
[12:36] Shige
    I was by your side,
[12:39] Shige
    yet I never realized your pain.
[12:43] Shige
    You've devoted your life to
    serving the shogun family,
[12:48] Shige
    yet we've only made you suffer for it.
[12:53] Shige
    Grampy, is it too late to
[12:58] ---
    fulfill your promise?
[13:01] Mai
    Shigeshige-sama...
[13:07] Shige
    Soyo, take care of Grampy.
[13:09] Soyo
    Yes, Brother.
[13:12] Shige
    Clear a path.
[13:17] Shige
    I need to talk to my uncle.
[13:19] Sada
    The man who raised them?
[13:22] Sada
    Oboro, what is he talking about?
[13:27] Sada
    Who was the one who turned a helpless,
[13:31] ---
    fatherless boy into the shogun?
[13:37] Sada
    Who was the one who kept
    you and this nation safe
[13:42] ---
    while being accused of
    selling out this country?!
[13:47] Sada
    It was me!
[13:49] Sada
    I, Tokugawa Sadasada, am
    the father of this nation!
[13:54] Sada
    My rule has kept this nation safe.
[13:58] Sada
    Despite all that, you now
    choose to turn on me?!
[14:04] Oboro
    They say that a doll will gain
    a heart if enough time passes,
[14:09] Oboro
    though it seems that this doll
    was given a stubborn soul.
[14:13] Oboro
    He's realized that you were protecting
    yourself, not this nation.
[14:19] Oboro
    If you continue to
    cling to this country,
[14:22] ---
    your position may not
    be the only thing lost.
[14:24] Oboro
    You may lose your life.
[14:26] Oboro
    Please join me in seeking
    help from the Tendoshu.
[14:30] Sada
    Are you telling me to abandon
[14:32] ---
    what's taken me half
    my life to build up?!
[14:34] Sada
    To run off to the Tendoshu and
    allow these traitors to live?!
[14:40] Oboro
    Considering the contributions
    you have made,
[14:42] ---
    they will surely assist
    in restoring you to power.
[14:46] Sada
    Nonsense.
[14:48] Sada
    They consider both myself
    and Shigeshige...
[14:51] Sada
    No, they consider this entire planet
    to be nothing more than a tool.
[14:55] Sada
    Isn't that right, messenger
    of the heavens,
[14:58] Sada
    Yatagarasu?
[15:01] Sada
    The Tendoshu sent you to ensure that
    I would be an expendable tool.
[15:07] Sada
    If I am the traitor who
    sold out this country,
[15:10] Sada
    you Naraku are the crows
    who feed on its carcass.
[15:16] Sada
    That ship is here to help?
[15:17] Sada
    Don't make me laugh!
[15:19] Sada
    Once I meet with the Tendoshu,
[15:21] Sada
    I'll never return to Earth.
[15:24] Oboro
    We are ready to take
    you wherever you wish.
[15:27] Oboro
    Our mission is to assist
    you in any way possible.
[15:33] Sada
    You'll take me wherever I wish?
[15:35] Sada
    In that case,
[15:37] Sada
    let's go to Yoshiwara!
[15:41] Sada
    The place where my rule began.
[15:43] Sada
    The cursed land where I was betrayed.
[15:47] Sada
    I want you to prove your
    loyalty to me in that place.
[15:51] Oboro
    Prove our loyalty? How?
[15:55] Sada
    Kill Suzuran.
[15:58] Sada
    That betrayal was where this all began.
[16:01] Sada
    So Maizo and Suzuran...
[16:04] Sada
    I will completely shatter your promise
    and end this once and for all.
[16:12] Sada
    I will punish every person
    who dared to betray me.
[16:17] Oboro
    If that is what you wish.
[16:20] Oboro
    I will follow shortly.
[16:22] Oboro
    Set sail for Yoshiwara.
[16:31] Gin
    Yoshiwara?
[16:33] Gin
    I don't think so.
[16:36] Gin
    This ship won't take you to paradise...
[16:40] Gin
    It's headed straight to hell, bastard.
[17:04] ---
    You bastard...
[17:08] Kondo
    Did he pull it off?
[17:11] Kagura
    Gi—
[17:12] Shin
    Gin-san!
[17:16] Oboro
    You refuse to die.
[17:19] Oboro
    I didn't expect you to drag that
    beaten body back before me again.
[17:23] Oboro
    You continue to fight?
    You continue to howl?
[17:27] Oboro
    If you would close your eyes, you
    would not suffer any more loss.
[17:31] Oboro
    Yet you return to the
    battlefield again,
[17:35] Oboro
    White Yaksha.
[17:37] Oboro
    It's too late now.
[17:39] Oboro
    No matter how much you struggle,
[17:41] Oboro
    none of it will come back to you.
[17:44] Oboro
    Not this country, not your
    friends, not Shoyo...
[17:47] Sada
    Th-The Tendoshu!
[17:49] Sada
    Did they come here after
    hearing about the revolt?!
[17:53] Sada
    I-It's over...
[17:55] Sada
    You're all finished!
[18:01] Oboro
    You are nothing more than a ghost
[18:02] ---
    who roams the battlefield in
    search of that which was lost.
[18:05] Oboro
    This is not where you belong.
[18:09] Oboro
    You will be consumed by the flames
    of revenge and sent back to hell,
[18:13] Oboro
    demon!
[18:19] Oboro
    He's trying to prevent me
    from using poison needles?
[18:28] Oboro
    He learned my technique just
    by experiencing it once?
[18:32] Gin
    Sent back to hell?
[18:34] Gin
    You must be dreaming.
[18:37] Gin
    You and I are already
    on a date in hell.
[18:47] Oboro
    Do you believe you can use
    my own technique against me?
[18:50] Oboro
    My assassination techniques aren't meant
[18:52] ---
    to attack enemy pressure points.
[18:55] Oboro
    They're meant for controlling my own
    pressure points to maximize my strength.
[18:59] Oboro
    I can easily remove any
    poison from my body.
[19:03] Sada
    O-Oboro...
[19:06] Gin
    That's enough.
[19:08] Gin
    Hell's too good for that guy,
[19:11] Gin
    but it seems appropriate
    for him to be judged
[19:13] ---
    by the laws he created.
[19:15] Oboro
    What?!
[19:24] Oboro
    I don't need needles to attack
    your pressure points!
[19:53] Oboro
    It's over, White Yaksha!
[19:57] Gin
    It's not over.
[19:59] Gin
    I haven't lost.
[20:04] Gin
    My body can still move.
[20:07] Gin
    My hand can still reach.
[20:10] Shoyo
    Gintoki,
[20:12] ---
    look after things for me.
[20:15] Shoyo
    Don't worry. It's no big deal.
[20:17] Shoyo
    I'll be back very soon.
[20:21] Shoyo
    So until then, please protect our friends,
[20:25] Shoyo
    protect everyone, for me.
[20:33] Shoyo
    Promise me that.
[20:47] Gin
    Yeah.
[20:48] Gin
    It's a promise.
[20:52] Gin
    Sensei!
[21:09] Oboro
    Go back to hell, White Yaksha!
[21:18] Gin
    Sorry, I have a prior engagement.
[21:21] Gin
    I already made reservations,
[21:25] Gin
    so you'll have to wait in hell for me.
[21:30] Gin
    Say hello to Sensei for me.
[21:32] Oboro
    You bastard!
[22:04] Gin
    Promises shouldn't be made lightly.
[23:45] Gin
    Uh, so when in summer is
    the movie coming out?
[23:49] Kagura
    Summer's a long time.
[23:51] Gin
    Stupid, summer is the period
    when TUBE is active.
[23:55] Gin
    So the movie can only be released
    when Maeda's feeling up to it.
[23:58] Shin
    Hell no!
SIGN    Unsetting Moon
SIGN    The Courtesan of a Nation arc
SIGN    ends next episode.
SIGN    Will the promises that were made
SIGN    be fulfilled...?

261 - Unsetting Moon

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:36] Nobu
    The Tendoshu...
[01:38] Nobu
    So they've gotten off their fat
    asses to save their little toy.
[01:44] Sada
    It's rather unfortunate,
    dog of the Hitotsubashi.
[01:48] Sada
    As I told you before,
    nobody can ever judge me.
[01:52] Sada
    You are the ones who will be judged.
[01:56] A
    Lord Sadasada, it appears that
    you've suffered a serious setback.
[02:02] A
    I won't bother asking
    for an explanation.
[02:04] A
    No matter the reason,
[02:05] ---
    it is not in the interest of
    any of the parties involved
[02:10] ---
    to allow further commotion on
    the sacred palace grounds.
[02:12] A
    You must have your
    reasons for rebelling,
[02:16] ---
    but we will be intervening
    in this matter.
[02:19] A
    We will take temporary
    custody of Lord Sadasada.
[02:22] A
    Would you not agree that
    his sentence should
[02:25] ---
    be determined after
    thorough investigation?
[02:29] A
    And while your cause
    may have been just,
[02:32] ---
    you must be punished for
    disrupting the gover—
[02:33] Shige
    That won't be necessary.
[02:36] Shige
    I apologize for the
    long trip you've made,
[02:40] Shige
    but this is a domestic affair.
[02:44] Shige
    It only makes sense for us
    to settle this ourselves.
[02:47] Sada
    Sh-Shigeshige?!
[02:48] A
    Why, if it isn't the shogun.
[02:50] A
    I'm glad to see that you are safe.
[02:53] A
    But are you sure about that?
[02:55] A
    We proposed this solution
    with you in mind.
[02:58] A
    Sheltered by your uncle, you
    have grown to be a gentle lord.
[03:02] A
    Would you be capable of
    executing the beloved retainers
[03:04] ---
    who have turned their swords on you?
[03:07] Shige
    None of them have turned
    their swords on me.
[03:11] Shige
    They may be branded traitors
    and enemies of the state,
[03:16] Shige
    but I know what it is that
    they strive to protect.
[03:20] Shige
    They do not follow laws written by
    politicians for their own convenience.
[03:25] Shige
    They do not serve the
    empty title of shogun.
[03:30] Shige
    They follow their convictions.
[03:32] Shige
    They serve their souls.
[03:34] Shige
    That is what they fight for.
[03:36] Shige
    You can sully their reputation, but
    you cannot tarnish their hearts.
[03:42] Shige
    If I were to call that a crime
    and punish them for it...
[03:55] Shige
    My entire army would become criminals
[03:57] ---
    for turning their swords
     on their foolish ruler.
[04:01] Shige
    If I tried to punish them all,
    this nation would crumble.
[04:06] Sada
    Shigeshige! You bastard!
[04:09] Shige
    They have committed no crime.
[04:12] Shige
    The blame lies with the shogun family
    that was unworthy of ruling them.
[04:17] Shige
    Uncle, I am prepared to accept
    responsibility for failing to stop you.
SIGN    Resignation
[04:25] Shige
    We can go to hell together.
[04:30] Sada
    A-Are you going to give up
    your position as shogun?!
[04:36] Shige
    Please leave.
[04:38] Shige
    This is
[04:40] Shige
    Samurai Country.
SIGN    Unsetting Moon
[04:49] A
    You did a spectacular job, Sasaki-dono.
[04:54] A
    Nobunobu-sama was impressed by
    the devotion you demonstrated
[04:58] ---
    by carrying out your
    mission while injured.
[05:01] A
    You will be rewarded once
    the Hitotsubashi faction
[05:04] ---
    establishes a new government.
[05:07] A
    Our greatest enemy, Sadasada, has been
[05:09] ---
    imprisoned after his
    crimes were exposed.
[05:12] A
    And what's amazing is
    that Shigeshige stepped
SIGN    Resignation
[05:16] ---
    down as shogun to take him down.
[05:19] A
    We are now in position
[05:21] ---
    to name Nobunobu-sama as
    the next shogun with ease.
[05:26] Sasa
    Nezu-dono, this is a
    government hospital.
[05:30] Sasa
    There are ears everywhere.
[05:32] A
    Impossible. The Hitotsubashi's
    time has come.
[05:36] A
    Nobody would dare to
    stand against us now.
[05:38] Hiji
    I beg to differ.
[05:39] Hiji
    The walls have ears and
    the doors have eyes.
[05:42] Hiji
    And there are...
[05:43] Kondo
    ...fairies on your shoulders.
[05:47] Nezu
    Demons!
[05:48] Nezu
    I must get going!
[05:49] Nezu
    Take care!
[05:51] Sasa
    I never dreamed that you
    would come visit me.
[05:55] Sasa
    It appears that despite your appearance,
[05:58] ---
    you have the hearts of fairies.
[06:00] Hiji
    Well, you're lined up to be
    the next police commissioner.
[06:04] Hiji
    Why not start kissing some ass?
[06:08] Hiji
    We'll come to your funeral.
[06:12] Sasa
    Have you come to take my life after
[06:15] ---
    realizing you were being used?
[06:17] Kondo
    We would be happy to let you use us
    if it meant a tyrant could be toppled,
[06:21] Kondo
    but if your goal was to make our lord
[06:24] ---
    take the fall to protect
    us, we'll take steps.
[06:30] Sasa
    Loyalty to your lord?
[06:32] Sasa
    Topple tyrants?
[06:34] Sasa
    Is that truly why you
    took up your swords?
[06:38] Sasa
    If you believe I orchestrated the
[06:41] ---
    shogun's fall for the sake
    of the Hitotsubashi faction,
[06:43] ---
    you are sorely mistaken.
[06:45] Sasa
    Not even an elite could have
    predicted this would happen.
[06:49] Sasa
    To think that the ruler
    of a nation gave up his position
[06:52] ---
    for the sake of a mere samurai.
[06:55] Sasa
    To think that the wild monkeys
    would take up their swords
[06:58] ---
    for an ancient promise.
[06:59] Sasa
    That man defies all reason.
[07:02] Sasa
    That Sakata Gintoki...
[07:05] Sasa
    I hope that capricious girl's stubborn streak
[07:10] ---
    wasn't a result of his bad influence.
[07:13] Sasa
    What do you say, Nobume-san?
[07:18] Sasa
    Unfortunately, I'm not naive
    enough to believe that
[07:22] ---
    replacing the shogun
    will change this world.
[07:27] Sasa
    Instead of depending
    on foreign countries,
[07:29] Sasa
    we should build a nation
    that can compete with them.
[07:32] Sasa
    That is the dream of the
    Hitotsubashi's leader,
[07:36] Sasa
    but I'm not one to go in
    for such a pipe dream.
[07:41] Sasa
    I have much bigger plans in mind.
[07:46] Sasa
    You don't need to worry.
[07:47] ---
    The Tendoshu should
    make their move soon.
[07:50] Sasa
    You should be guarding Sadasada,
    not hanging out here.
[07:55] Sasa
    I had a report from my men.
[07:58] Sasa
    The crow's carcass vanished.
[08:04] A
    Sadasada failed us.
[08:06] B
    He was so obsessed with
    maintaining power that he
[08:09] ---
    failed to notice the foundations
    crumble beneath him.
[08:13] C
    It would be detrimental to
    restore him to power now.
[08:16] D
    A fool who could not keep
    up with Hitotsubashi
[08:20] ---
    holds no value as a
    ruler in the first place.
[08:23] E
    We should have cut that worthless
    puppet loose sooner.
[08:28] Oboro
    While he may hold no value as a
    puppet, he can still serve as bait.
[08:36] A
    Have you returned, messenger
    of the heavens, Yatagarasu?
[08:40] Oboro
    It took a while to restore my
    meridians and keep myself alive.
[08:46] A
    Who would be capable of
    injuring you so severely?
[08:50] Oboro
    A demon who fell for the bait.
[08:54] A
    Ah, a demon...
[08:56] Oboro
    Sadasada is a figurehead
    of the Joi suppression.
[09:00] Oboro
    We need him to draw out certain foes.
[09:03] Oboro
    There is no need to fear
    the Hitotsubashi faction.
[09:07] Oboro
    They are nothing more than
    puppets, much like Sadasada.
[09:12] Oboro
    The ones using this chance to sneak
    into the heart of the country...
[09:16] ---
    They are our true enemies.
[09:18] A
    And we need that puppet to
    bring out those demons?
[09:25] Sada
    It took you long enough.
[09:29] Sada
    I'd grown tired of waiting.
[09:31] Sada
    I was thinking that the Tendoshu
    had finally abandoned me.
[09:36] Sada
    Now, unlock this door and release me.
[09:40] Sada
    It's too bad, Shigeshige!
[09:43] Sada
    You will never get to
    judge me! No one will!
[09:46] Sada
    Not even the heavens can judge me!
[09:54] Sada
    Huh?
[09:57] Taka
    That's right.
[09:59] Taka
    You won't be judged by the
    shogun or the heavens.
[10:05] Taka
    You will be judged
[10:10] Taka
    by me.
[10:11] Sada
    Y-You're...
[10:14] Taka
    Don't bother trying to remember me
[10:16] Taka
    since I'll bring the Tendoshu
[10:18] Taka
    and those worthless crows...
[10:20] Taka
    No...
[10:22] Taka
    I'll bring the heads of every person on
    this planet down to hell with me.
[10:27] Taka
    Say hello
[10:29] Taka
    to Sensei for me.
[10:42] Oboro
    Yes.
[10:44] Oboro
    Those demons are our true enemies.
[10:48] Oboro
    The students of Shoyo.
[10:51] Nobu
    It appears that you were
    a step too late, Oboro.
[10:56] Oboro
    So you're not fooling around,
[10:59] ---
    Mukuro...
[11:00] Oboro
    No, you go by the name Imai Nobume now.
[11:04] Oboro
    Once, you served the heavens and
[11:06] ---
    were named one of the Naraku
    Three at a young age,
[11:10] Oboro
    yet you now side with a student
[11:13] ---
    of Shoyo and turn your
    blade on the heavens?
[11:17] Nobu
    Isaburo said he would go along
    with that man's grand scheme.
[11:22] Nobu
    So I will do the same.
[11:24] Oboro
    I see.
[11:26] Oboro
    Then one of us will have
[11:28] ---
    our feathers plucked
    the next time we meet.
[11:32] Oboro
    Wait.
[11:35] Oboro
    Were those two anything like Shoyo?
[11:40] Nobu
    No.
[11:42] Nobu
    One was trying to protect
    Shoyo's legacy.
[11:46] Nobu
    The other was trying to
    destroy Shoyo's legacy.
[11:51] Nobu
    But they had one thing in common.
[11:55] Nobu
    They both
[11:58] ---
    had such sorrow in their eyes.
[12:13] Oki
    I suppose this is karma.
[12:16] Oki
    A man who built an empire
    through assassination
[12:19] ---
    was finished by an assassin.
[12:22] Oki
    Well, it could get ugly if the
[12:24] ---
    public learned this happened
    right after that big ruckus,
[12:27] Oki
    so the official announcement will
    be that he died of illness.
[12:31] Oki
    I can understand that
    you're not happy about it,
[12:34] ---
    but we've been given orders.
[12:36] Gin
    What about the killer?
[12:37] Oki
    Well, I can't tell if
    they're even interested
[12:40] ---
    in finding out who it was.
[12:43] Tsu
    Did the Tendoshu kill him
    so he couldn't talk?
[12:46] Oki
    After they mobilized all those
    people to rescue Sadasada?
[12:51] Oki
    I'm pretty sure that
    the Tendoshu were still
[12:54] ---
    looking for a chance to
    take back Sadasada.
[12:58] Oki
    The assassination was
    carried out despite that.
[13:00] Oki
    No...
[13:02] Oki
    It was probably meant
    as a declaration of war
[13:04] ---
    from the Hitotsubashi to the Tendoshu.
[13:06] Oki
    To prove it, we have an imperial
    decree from the Emperor.
[13:11] Shi
    What? Shogun-sama's
    resignation was denied?
[13:14] Soyo
    Yes.
[13:15] Soyo
    My brother has been
    ordered to continue
[13:18] ---
    supporting the Bakufu
    now that our uncle is gone.
[13:22] Shin
    Oh, that's great!
[13:24] Kagura
    We were worried that Sho-chan
    quit because of us.
[13:29] Oki
    Those fools are probably thrilled,
[13:32] Oki
    but it's obvious that the
    Tendoshu were behind this act.
[13:37] Oki
    Which means that the Tendoshu see
    the Hitotsubashi as their enemy.
[13:42] Oki
    Shigeshige has only been set
    up as an interim ruler.
[13:47] Tsu
    Does the Hitotsubashi faction
    intend to fight the Tendoshu
[13:51] ---
    to take control of the government?
[13:54] Oki
    Well, I don't know if they're
    trying to take control,
[13:57] Gin
    That's mine.
[13:58] Oki
    or if they want to get rid of the
[14:01] ---
    Bakufu and throw the world into chaos.
[14:04] Oki
    Either way, there's a lot
    of action in the shadows.
[14:08] Gin
    Wait. If the Bakufu's a mess
    right now, that old man is...
[14:13] Oki
    He managed to survive.
[14:15] Oki
    But he probably can't
    step outside the palace,
[14:19] ---
    much less visit Yoshiwara.
[14:22] Oki
    His health is certainly a concern,
[14:25] Oki
    but the palace is on lockdown,
[14:27] ---
    and there are even guards
    watching the shogun.
[14:29] Oki
    No one is allowed to enter or leave.
[14:33] Nobu
    Your Highness, it is
    time for you to return.
[14:36] Soyo
    Nobume-san...
[14:40] Nobu
    That look won't help.
[14:43] Oki
    Well, I figured this would happen.
[14:47] Oki
    Seriously, what were we fighting for?
[14:59] Hino
    The doctor said that she won't
    make it through the night.
[15:02] Hino
    This may be the last moon
    Lady Suzuran ever waits for.
[15:10] Hino
    Don't be sad.
[15:11] Hino
    Suzuran-san and the rest of
    you all tried your best.
[15:16] Hino
    Did you think that I didn't
    know you were sneaking around?
[15:22] Hino
    Honestly, that was quite
    a mess you caused.
[15:25] Hino
    I was quite worried since you've
    started to act like Gin-san.
[15:30] Hino
    That's why I tried to
    keep my mouth shut,
[15:33] ---
    but I guess it didn't matter in the end.
[15:36] Tsu
    Hinowa, did you know who
    Suzuran was waiting for?
[15:40] Hino
    Hard to say. But considering
    how long she's waited,
[15:46] Hino
    he must have been a wonderful man.
[15:49] Hino
    That much I do know.
[15:53] Hino
    Isn't that right, Suzuran-san?
[15:55] Suzu
    Hinowa-chan, could you
    help me with my makeup?
[16:02] Suzu
    It's time to fulfill our promise.
[16:13] Sasa
    Where are you going at this late hour?
[16:17] Sasa
    You're running off to amuse yourself
    in Yoshiwara with that body?
[16:20] Sasa
    You'll die.
[16:21] Sasa
    I can't afford any further commotion.
[16:25] Sasa
    Please restrain yourself
    and return to your room.
[16:28] Mai
    I understand that I'm
    disobeying orders.
[16:31] Mai
    If you intend to cut me down, go ahead.
[16:34] Mai
    I no longer have any arms
    for your blade to take.
[16:37] Mai
    You can help yourself
    to my legs or head.
[16:41] Mai
    However, those young people helped
    revive the promise we once made.
[16:47] Mai
    The thread tied to my soul
[16:51] Mai
    cannot be severed by any blade.
[16:56] Sasa
    Normally, I would forgive an elderly
    man's desire to fool around,
[17:00] ---
    but the circumstances will not allow it.
[17:02] Sasa
    I cannot allow anything to
    happen that could potentially
[17:06] ---
    aggravate the tense political situation.
[17:10] Sasa
    I will warn you one more time.
[17:12] Sasa
    Please return to your room.
[17:15] Hino
    Okay, all done.
[17:18] Hino
    You look beautiful, Suzuran-san.
[17:20] Hino
    Every girl wants to look pretty
    for the man she loves.
[17:24] Hino
    Now, Tsukuyo.
[17:26] Hino
    Bring the kimono.
[17:28] Hino
    What are you doing?
[17:29] Hino
    Tsukuyo?
[17:31] Suzu
    Tsukuyo-chan, did you make that
    promise with your special man?
[17:38] Tsu
    No...
[17:39] Suzu
    Was it an important promise?
[17:42] Gin
    We'll bring the old man
    back to Suzuran together.
[17:47] Suzu
    Then you should believe in it.
[17:52] Suzu
    A good man will always
    keep his promise.
[17:59] Suzu
    Isn't that right?
[18:03] Tsu
    Yeah...
[18:05] Tsu
    You're right.
[18:07] Sasa
    What?
[18:08] Sasa
    How did you get in here?
[18:11] Gin
    If you wanna play Kick the
    Can, follow the finger!
[18:17] All
    Me!
[18:20] Sasa
    Wh—
[18:21] Sasa
    What are you people doing?
[18:23] Sasa
    Why is the shogun here?
[18:25] Oki
    This is too many people to
    use rock-paper-scissors,
[18:27] ---
    so Hijikata can be It.
[18:29] Hiji
    Screw that!
[18:29] Hiji
    Look at all these people!
[18:30] Hiji
    That would be torture!
[18:32] Shige
    Enough.
[18:33] Shige
    I've seen enough internal strife.
[18:36] Shige
    As shogun, I will choose
    someone to be It.
[18:40] Shige
    Grampy, if you will?
[18:43] Sasa
    Please stop this.
[18:45] Sasa
    You've allowed outsiders inside,
[18:47] ---
    and now you're abandoning
    your responsibility?
[18:55] Nobu
    Go grab the can.
[18:58] Nobu
    It probably flew all
    the way to Yoshiwara.
[19:02] Gin
    Okay, everybody hide.
[19:10] Suzu
    I loathe the moon.
[19:13] Suzu
    With nightfall, it brings you to me,
[19:17] Suzu
    but it also takes you from
    me when dawn breaks.
[19:21] Suzu
    I wish the moon would never leave us.
[19:24] Suzu
    Then you would always be here with me.
[19:29] A
    The moon will come with the night again.
[19:33] A
    And someday, when it does,
    I will take you with me in the morning.
[19:41] A
    Wait before the cherry blossom tree
[19:43] ---
    on the night of the next full moon.
[19:46] Suzu
    Do you promise?
[19:49] A
    I promise.
[19:52] Both
    Promise.
[20:12] Suzu
    You
[20:16] ---
    finally came.
[20:23] Suzu
    The final moon brought you to me.
[20:30] Suzu
    But I must apologize.
[20:33] Suzu
    Both the cherry blossoms and I have
    withered during the long wait.
[20:43] Mai
    What are you talking about?
[20:48] Mai
    Nothing has changed.
[20:52] Mai
    The cherry blossoms are every bit
    as beautiful as they once were.
[21:06] Suzu
    Maizo-sama...
[21:09] Suzu
    Am I dreaming?
[21:12] Suzu
    Will you be gone when the moon leaves
    and I wake up in the morning?
[21:18] Mai
    No, the moon tonight will never set.
[21:29] Mai
    You will never awaken from this dream.
[21:35] Mai
    We will always,
[21:38] Mai
    always,
[21:41] Mai
    be together.
[21:54] Mai
    I promise.
[21:58] Mai
    I promise.
[23:51] Gin
    We have an announcement to make
    on the progress of the movie!
[23:54] Gin
    If the next image shows five or
[23:57] ---
    six storyboard booklets,
    we're well on our way.
[24:00] Gin
    Take it away!
[24:02] Gin
    Huh?
SIGN    Huh...
SIGN    What...
SIGN    Er?
SIGN    That's odd?

261 - Gintama Classic - People Are All Escapees of Their Own Inner Prisons.

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:36] Nobu
    The Tendoshu...
[01:38] Nobu
    So they've gotten off their fat
    asses to save their little toy.
[01:44] Sada
    It's rather unfortunate,
    dog of the Hitotsubashi.
[01:48] Sada
    As I told you before,
    nobody can ever judge me.
[01:52] Sada
    You are the ones who will be judged.
[01:56] A
    Lord Sadasada, it appears that
    you've suffered a serious setback.
[02:02] A
    I won't bother asking
    for an explanation.
[02:04] A
    No matter the reason,
[02:05] ---
    it is not in the interest of
    any of the parties involved
[02:10] ---
    to allow further commotion on
    the sacred palace grounds.
[02:12] A
    You must have your
    reasons for rebelling,
[02:16] ---
    but we will be intervening
    in this matter.
[02:19] A
    We will take temporary
    custody of Lord Sadasada.
[02:22] A
    Would you not agree that
    his sentence should
[02:25] ---
    be determined after
    thorough investigation?
[02:29] A
    And while your cause
    may have been just,
[02:32] ---
    you must be punished for
    disrupting the gover—
[02:33] Shige
    That won't be necessary.
[02:36] Shige
    I apologize for the
    long trip you've made,
[02:40] Shige
    but this is a domestic affair.
[02:44] Shige
    It only makes sense for us
    to settle this ourselves.
[02:47] Sada
    Sh-Shigeshige?!
[02:48] A
    Why, if it isn't the shogun.
[02:50] A
    I'm glad to see that you are safe.
[02:53] A
    But are you sure about that?
[02:55] A
    We proposed this solution
    with you in mind.
[02:58] A
    Sheltered by your uncle, you
    have grown to be a gentle lord.
[03:02] A
    Would you be capable of
    executing the beloved retainers
[03:04] ---
    who have turned their swords on you?
[03:07] Shige
    None of them have turned
    their swords on me.
[03:11] Shige
    They may be branded traitors
    and enemies of the state,
[03:16] Shige
    but I know what it is that
    they strive to protect.
[03:20] Shige
    They do not follow laws written by
    politicians for their own convenience.
[03:25] Shige
    They do not serve the
    empty title of shogun.
[03:30] Shige
    They follow their convictions.
[03:32] Shige
    They serve their souls.
[03:34] Shige
    That is what they fight for.
[03:36] Shige
    You can sully their reputation, but
    you cannot tarnish their hearts.
[03:42] Shige
    If I were to call that a crime
    and punish them for it...
[03:55] Shige
    My entire army would become criminals
[03:57] ---
    for turning their swords
     on their foolish ruler.
[04:01] Shige
    If I tried to punish them all,
    this nation would crumble.
[04:06] Sada
    Shigeshige! You bastard!
[04:09] Shige
    They have committed no crime.
[04:12] Shige
    The blame lies with the shogun family
    that was unworthy of ruling them.
[04:17] Shige
    Uncle, I am prepared to accept
    responsibility for failing to stop you.
SIGN    Resignation
[04:25] Shige
    We can go to hell together.
[04:30] Sada
    A-Are you going to give up
    your position as shogun?!
[04:36] Shige
    Please leave.
[04:38] Shige
    This is
[04:40] Shige
    Samurai Country.
SIGN    Unsetting Moon
[04:49] A
    You did a spectacular job, Sasaki-dono.
[04:54] A
    Nobunobu-sama was impressed by
    the devotion you demonstrated
[04:58] ---
    by carrying out your
    mission while injured.
[05:01] A
    You will be rewarded once
    the Hitotsubashi faction
[05:04] ---
    establishes a new government.
[05:07] A
    Our greatest enemy, Sadasada, has been
[05:09] ---
    imprisoned after his
    crimes were exposed.
[05:12] A
    And what's amazing is
    that Shigeshige stepped
SIGN    Resignation
[05:16] ---
    down as shogun to take him down.
[05:19] A
    We are now in position
[05:21] ---
    to name Nobunobu-sama as
    the next shogun with ease.
[05:26] Sasa
    Nezu-dono, this is a
    government hospital.
[05:30] Sasa
    There are ears everywhere.
[05:32] A
    Impossible. The Hitotsubashi's
    time has come.
[05:36] A
    Nobody would dare to
    stand against us now.
[05:38] Hiji
    I beg to differ.
[05:39] Hiji
    The walls have ears and
    the doors have eyes.
[05:42] Hiji
    And there are...
[05:43] Kondo
    ...fairies on your shoulders.
[05:47] Nezu
    Demons!
[05:48] Nezu
    I must get going!
[05:49] Nezu
    Take care!
[05:51] Sasa
    I never dreamed that you
    would come visit me.
[05:55] Sasa
    It appears that despite your appearance,
[05:58] ---
    you have the hearts of fairies.
[06:00] Hiji
    Well, you're lined up to be
    the next police commissioner.
[06:04] Hiji
    Why not start kissing some ass?
[06:08] Hiji
    We'll come to your funeral.
[06:12] Sasa
    Have you come to take my life after
[06:15] ---
    realizing you were being used?
[06:17] Kondo
    We would be happy to let you use us
    if it meant a tyrant could be toppled,
[06:21] Kondo
    but if your goal was to make our lord
[06:24] ---
    take the fall to protect
    us, we'll take steps.
[06:30] Sasa
    Loyalty to your lord?
[06:32] Sasa
    Topple tyrants?
[06:34] Sasa
    Is that truly why you
    took up your swords?
[06:38] Sasa
    If you believe I orchestrated the
[06:41] ---
    shogun's fall for the sake
    of the Hitotsubashi faction,
[06:43] ---
    you are sorely mistaken.
[06:45] Sasa
    Not even an elite could have
    predicted this would happen.
[06:49] Sasa
    To think that the ruler
    of a nation gave up his position
[06:52] ---
    for the sake of a mere samurai.
[06:55] Sasa
    To think that the wild monkeys
    would take up their swords
[06:58] ---
    for an ancient promise.
[06:59] Sasa
    That man defies all reason.
[07:02] Sasa
    That Sakata Gintoki...
[07:05] Sasa
    I hope that capricious girl's stubborn streak
[07:10] ---
    wasn't a result of his bad influence.
[07:13] Sasa
    What do you say, Nobume-san?
[07:18] Sasa
    Unfortunately, I'm not naive
    enough to believe that
[07:22] ---
    replacing the shogun
    will change this world.
[07:27] Sasa
    Instead of depending
    on foreign countries,
[07:29] Sasa
    we should build a nation
    that can compete with them.
[07:32] Sasa
    That is the dream of the
    Hitotsubashi's leader,
[07:36] Sasa
    but I'm not one to go in
    for such a pipe dream.
[07:41] Sasa
    I have much bigger plans in mind.
[07:46] Sasa
    You don't need to worry.
[07:47] ---
    The Tendoshu should
    make their move soon.
[07:50] Sasa
    You should be guarding Sadasada,
    not hanging out here.
[07:55] Sasa
    I had a report from my men.
[07:58] Sasa
    The crow's carcass vanished.
[08:04] A
    Sadasada failed us.
[08:06] B
    He was so obsessed with
    maintaining power that he
[08:09] ---
    failed to notice the foundations
    crumble beneath him.
[08:13] C
    It would be detrimental to
    restore him to power now.
[08:16] D
    A fool who could not keep
    up with Hitotsubashi
[08:20] ---
    holds no value as a
    ruler in the first place.
[08:23] E
    We should have cut that worthless
    puppet loose sooner.
[08:28] Oboro
    While he may hold no value as a
    puppet, he can still serve as bait.
[08:36] A
    Have you returned, messenger
    of the heavens, Yatagarasu?
[08:40] Oboro
    It took a while to restore my
    meridians and keep myself alive.
[08:46] A
    Who would be capable of
    injuring you so severely?
[08:50] Oboro
    A demon who fell for the bait.
[08:54] A
    Ah, a demon...
[08:56] Oboro
    Sadasada is a figurehead
    of the Joi suppression.
[09:00] Oboro
    We need him to draw out certain foes.
[09:03] Oboro
    There is no need to fear
    the Hitotsubashi faction.
[09:07] Oboro
    They are nothing more than
    puppets, much like Sadasada.
[09:12] Oboro
    The ones using this chance to sneak
    into the heart of the country...
[09:16] ---
    They are our true enemies.
[09:18] A
    And we need that puppet to
    bring out those demons?
[09:25] Sada
    It took you long enough.
[09:29] Sada
    I'd grown tired of waiting.
[09:31] Sada
    I was thinking that the Tendoshu
    had finally abandoned me.
[09:36] Sada
    Now, unlock this door and release me.
[09:40] Sada
    It's too bad, Shigeshige!
[09:43] Sada
    You will never get to
    judge me! No one will!
[09:46] Sada
    Not even the heavens can judge me!
[09:54] Sada
    Huh?
[09:57] Taka
    That's right.
[09:59] Taka
    You won't be judged by the
    shogun or the heavens.
[10:05] Taka
    You will be judged
[10:10] Taka
    by me.
[10:11] Sada
    Y-You're...
[10:14] Taka
    Don't bother trying to remember me
[10:16] Taka
    since I'll bring the Tendoshu
[10:18] Taka
    and those worthless crows...
[10:20] Taka
    No...
[10:22] Taka
    I'll bring the heads of every person on
    this planet down to hell with me.
[10:27] Taka
    Say hello
[10:29] Taka
    to Sensei for me.
[10:42] Oboro
    Yes.
[10:44] Oboro
    Those demons are our true enemies.
[10:48] Oboro
    The students of Shoyo.
[10:51] Nobu
    It appears that you were
    a step too late, Oboro.
[10:56] Oboro
    So you're not fooling around,
[10:59] ---
    Mukuro...
[11:00] Oboro
    No, you go by the name Imai Nobume now.
[11:04] Oboro
    Once, you served the heavens and
[11:06] ---
    were named one of the Naraku
    Three at a young age,
[11:10] Oboro
    yet you now side with a student
[11:13] ---
    of Shoyo and turn your
    blade on the heavens?
[11:17] Nobu
    Isaburo said he would go along
    with that man's grand scheme.
[11:22] Nobu
    So I will do the same.
[11:24] Oboro
    I see.
[11:26] Oboro
    Then one of us will have
[11:28] ---
    our feathers plucked
    the next time we meet.
[11:32] Oboro
    Wait.
[11:35] Oboro
    Were those two anything like Shoyo?
[11:40] Nobu
    No.
[11:42] Nobu
    One was trying to protect
    Shoyo's legacy.
[11:46] Nobu
    The other was trying to
    destroy Shoyo's legacy.
[11:51] Nobu
    But they had one thing in common.
[11:55] Nobu
    They both
[11:58] ---
    had such sorrow in their eyes.
[12:13] Oki
    I suppose this is karma.
[12:16] Oki
    A man who built an empire
    through assassination
[12:19] ---
    was finished by an assassin.
[12:22] Oki
    Well, it could get ugly if the
[12:24] ---
    public learned this happened
    right after that big ruckus,
[12:27] Oki
    so the official announcement will
    be that he died of illness.
[12:31] Oki
    I can understand that
    you're not happy about it,
[12:34] ---
    but we've been given orders.
[12:36] Gin
    What about the killer?
[12:37] Oki
    Well, I can't tell if
    they're even interested
[12:40] ---
    in finding out who it was.
[12:43] Tsu
    Did the Tendoshu kill him
    so he couldn't talk?
[12:46] Oki
    After they mobilized all those
    people to rescue Sadasada?
[12:51] Oki
    I'm pretty sure that
    the Tendoshu were still
[12:54] ---
    looking for a chance to
    take back Sadasada.
[12:58] Oki
    The assassination was
    carried out despite that.
[13:00] Oki
    No...
[13:02] Oki
    It was probably meant
    as a declaration of war
[13:04] ---
    from the Hitotsubashi to the Tendoshu.
[13:06] Oki
    To prove it, we have an imperial
    decree from the Emperor.
[13:11] Shi
    What? Shogun-sama's
    resignation was denied?
[13:14] Soyo
    Yes.
[13:15] Soyo
    My brother has been
    ordered to continue
[13:18] ---
    supporting the Bakufu
    now that our uncle is gone.
[13:22] Shin
    Oh, that's great!
[13:24] Kagura
    We were worried that Sho-chan
    quit because of us.
[13:29] Oki
    Those fools are probably thrilled,
[13:32] Oki
    but it's obvious that the
    Tendoshu were behind this act.
[13:37] Oki
    Which means that the Tendoshu see
    the Hitotsubashi as their enemy.
[13:42] Oki
    Shigeshige has only been set
    up as an interim ruler.
[13:47] Tsu
    Does the Hitotsubashi faction
    intend to fight the Tendoshu
[13:51] ---
    to take control of the government?
[13:54] Oki
    Well, I don't know if they're
    trying to take control,
[13:57] Gin
    That's mine.
[13:58] Oki
    or if they want to get rid of the
[14:01] ---
    Bakufu and throw the world into chaos.
[14:04] Oki
    Either way, there's a lot
    of action in the shadows.
[14:08] Gin
    Wait. If the Bakufu's a mess
    right now, that old man is...
[14:13] Oki
    He managed to survive.
[14:15] Oki
    But he probably can't
    step outside the palace,
[14:19] ---
    much less visit Yoshiwara.
[14:22] Oki
    His health is certainly a concern,
[14:25] Oki
    but the palace is on lockdown,
[14:27] ---
    and there are even guards
    watching the shogun.
[14:29] Oki
    No one is allowed to enter or leave.
[14:33] Nobu
    Your Highness, it is
    time for you to return.
[14:36] Soyo
    Nobume-san...
[14:40] Nobu
    That look won't help.
[14:43] Oki
    Well, I figured this would happen.
[14:47] Oki
    Seriously, what were we fighting for?
[14:59] Hino
    The doctor said that she won't
    make it through the night.
[15:02] Hino
    This may be the last moon
    Lady Suzuran ever waits for.
[15:10] Hino
    Don't be sad.
[15:11] Hino
    Suzuran-san and the rest of
    you all tried your best.
[15:16] Hino
    Did you think that I didn't
    know you were sneaking around?
[15:22] Hino
    Honestly, that was quite
    a mess you caused.
[15:25] Hino
    I was quite worried since you've
    started to act like Gin-san.
[15:30] Hino
    That's why I tried to
    keep my mouth shut,
[15:33] ---
    but I guess it didn't matter in the end.
[15:36] Tsu
    Hinowa, did you know who
    Suzuran was waiting for?
[15:40] Hino
    Hard to say. But considering
    how long she's waited,
[15:46] Hino
    he must have been a wonderful man.
[15:49] Hino
    That much I do know.
[15:53] Hino
    Isn't that right, Suzuran-san?
[15:55] Suzu
    Hinowa-chan, could you
    help me with my makeup?
[16:02] Suzu
    It's time to fulfill our promise.
[16:13] Sasa
    Where are you going at this late hour?
[16:17] Sasa
    You're running off to amuse yourself
    in Yoshiwara with that body?
[16:20] Sasa
    You'll die.
[16:21] Sasa
    I can't afford any further commotion.
[16:25] Sasa
    Please restrain yourself
    and return to your room.
[16:28] Mai
    I understand that I'm
    disobeying orders.
[16:31] Mai
    If you intend to cut me down, go ahead.
[16:34] Mai
    I no longer have any arms
    for your blade to take.
[16:37] Mai
    You can help yourself
    to my legs or head.
[16:41] Mai
    However, those young people helped
    revive the promise we once made.
[16:47] Mai
    The thread tied to my soul
[16:51] Mai
    cannot be severed by any blade.
[16:56] Sasa
    Normally, I would forgive an elderly
    man's desire to fool around,
[17:00] ---
    but the circumstances will not allow it.
[17:02] Sasa
    I cannot allow anything to
    happen that could potentially
[17:06] ---
    aggravate the tense political situation.
[17:10] Sasa
    I will warn you one more time.
[17:12] Sasa
    Please return to your room.
[17:15] Hino
    Okay, all done.
[17:18] Hino
    You look beautiful, Suzuran-san.
[17:20] Hino
    Every girl wants to look pretty
    for the man she loves.
[17:24] Hino
    Now, Tsukuyo.
[17:26] Hino
    Bring the kimono.
[17:28] Hino
    What are you doing?
[17:29] Hino
    Tsukuyo?
[17:31] Suzu
    Tsukuyo-chan, did you make that
    promise with your special man?
[17:38] Tsu
    No...
[17:39] Suzu
    Was it an important promise?
[17:42] Gin
    We'll bring the old man
    back to Suzuran together.
[17:47] Suzu
    Then you should believe in it.
[17:52] Suzu
    A good man will always
    keep his promise.
[17:59] Suzu
    Isn't that right?
[18:03] Tsu
    Yeah...
[18:05] Tsu
    You're right.
[18:07] Sasa
    What?
[18:08] Sasa
    How did you get in here?
[18:11] Gin
    If you wanna play Kick the
    Can, follow the finger!
[18:17] All
    Me!
[18:20] Sasa
    Wh—
[18:21] Sasa
    What are you people doing?
[18:23] Sasa
    Why is the shogun here?
[18:25] Oki
    This is too many people to
    use rock-paper-scissors,
[18:27] ---
    so Hijikata can be It.
[18:29] Hiji
    Screw that!
[18:29] Hiji
    Look at all these people!
[18:30] Hiji
    That would be torture!
[18:32] Shige
    Enough.
[18:33] Shige
    I've seen enough internal strife.
[18:36] Shige
    As shogun, I will choose
    someone to be It.
[18:40] Shige
    Grampy, if you will?
[18:43] Sasa
    Please stop this.
[18:45] Sasa
    You've allowed outsiders inside,
[18:47] ---
    and now you're abandoning
    your responsibility?
[18:55] Nobu
    Go grab the can.
[18:58] Nobu
    It probably flew all
    the way to Yoshiwara.
[19:02] Gin
    Okay, everybody hide.
[19:10] Suzu
    I loathe the moon.
[19:13] Suzu
    With nightfall, it brings you to me,
[19:17] Suzu
    but it also takes you from
    me when dawn breaks.
[19:21] Suzu
    I wish the moon would never leave us.
[19:24] Suzu
    Then you would always be here with me.
[19:29] A
    The moon will come with the night again.
[19:33] A
    And someday, when it does,
    I will take you with me in the morning.
[19:41] A
    Wait before the cherry blossom tree
[19:43] ---
    on the night of the next full moon.
[19:46] Suzu
    Do you promise?
[19:49] A
    I promise.
[19:52] Both
    Promise.
[20:12] Suzu
    You
[20:16] ---
    finally came.
[20:23] Suzu
    The final moon brought you to me.
[20:30] Suzu
    But I must apologize.
[20:33] Suzu
    Both the cherry blossoms and I have
    withered during the long wait.
[20:43] Mai
    What are you talking about?
[20:48] Mai
    Nothing has changed.
[20:52] Mai
    The cherry blossoms are every bit
    as beautiful as they once were.
[21:06] Suzu
    Maizo-sama...
[21:09] Suzu
    Am I dreaming?
[21:12] Suzu
    Will you be gone when the moon leaves
    and I wake up in the morning?
[21:18] Mai
    No, the moon tonight will never set.
[21:29] Mai
    You will never awaken from this dream.
[21:35] Mai
    We will always,
[21:38] Mai
    always,
[21:41] Mai
    be together.
[21:54] Mai
    I promise.
[21:58] Mai
    I promise.
[23:51] Gin
    We have an announcement to make
    on the progress of the movie!
[23:54] Gin
    If the next image shows five or
[23:57] ---
    six storyboard booklets,
    we're well on our way.
[24:00] Gin
    Take it away!
[24:02] Gin
    Huh?
SIGN    Huh...
SIGN    What...
SIGN    Er?
SIGN    That's odd?

261 - Gintama Classic - An Observation Journal Should Be Seen Through To The Very End

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:36] Nobu
    The Tendoshu...
[01:38] Nobu
    So they've gotten off their fat
    asses to save their little toy.
[01:44] Sada
    It's rather unfortunate,
    dog of the Hitotsubashi.
[01:48] Sada
    As I told you before,
    nobody can ever judge me.
[01:52] Sada
    You are the ones who will be judged.
[01:56] A
    Lord Sadasada, it appears that
    you've suffered a serious setback.
[02:02] A
    I won't bother asking
    for an explanation.
[02:04] A
    No matter the reason,
[02:05] ---
    it is not in the interest of
    any of the parties involved
[02:10] ---
    to allow further commotion on
    the sacred palace grounds.
[02:12] A
    You must have your
    reasons for rebelling,
[02:16] ---
    but we will be intervening
    in this matter.
[02:19] A
    We will take temporary
    custody of Lord Sadasada.
[02:22] A
    Would you not agree that
    his sentence should
[02:25] ---
    be determined after
    thorough investigation?
[02:29] A
    And while your cause
    may have been just,
[02:32] ---
    you must be punished for
    disrupting the gover—
[02:33] Shige
    That won't be necessary.
[02:36] Shige
    I apologize for the
    long trip you've made,
[02:40] Shige
    but this is a domestic affair.
[02:44] Shige
    It only makes sense for us
    to settle this ourselves.
[02:47] Sada
    Sh-Shigeshige?!
[02:48] A
    Why, if it isn't the shogun.
[02:50] A
    I'm glad to see that you are safe.
[02:53] A
    But are you sure about that?
[02:55] A
    We proposed this solution
    with you in mind.
[02:58] A
    Sheltered by your uncle, you
    have grown to be a gentle lord.
[03:02] A
    Would you be capable of
    executing the beloved retainers
[03:04] ---
    who have turned their swords on you?
[03:07] Shige
    None of them have turned
    their swords on me.
[03:11] Shige
    They may be branded traitors
    and enemies of the state,
[03:16] Shige
    but I know what it is that
    they strive to protect.
[03:20] Shige
    They do not follow laws written by
    politicians for their own convenience.
[03:25] Shige
    They do not serve the
    empty title of shogun.
[03:30] Shige
    They follow their convictions.
[03:32] Shige
    They serve their souls.
[03:34] Shige
    That is what they fight for.
[03:36] Shige
    You can sully their reputation, but
    you cannot tarnish their hearts.
[03:42] Shige
    If I were to call that a crime
    and punish them for it...
[03:55] Shige
    My entire army would become criminals
[03:57] ---
    for turning their swords
     on their foolish ruler.
[04:01] Shige
    If I tried to punish them all,
    this nation would crumble.
[04:06] Sada
    Shigeshige! You bastard!
[04:09] Shige
    They have committed no crime.
[04:12] Shige
    The blame lies with the shogun family
    that was unworthy of ruling them.
[04:17] Shige
    Uncle, I am prepared to accept
    responsibility for failing to stop you.
SIGN    Resignation
[04:25] Shige
    We can go to hell together.
[04:30] Sada
    A-Are you going to give up
    your position as shogun?!
[04:36] Shige
    Please leave.
[04:38] Shige
    This is
[04:40] Shige
    Samurai Country.
SIGN    Unsetting Moon
[04:49] A
    You did a spectacular job, Sasaki-dono.
[04:54] A
    Nobunobu-sama was impressed by
    the devotion you demonstrated
[04:58] ---
    by carrying out your
    mission while injured.
[05:01] A
    You will be rewarded once
    the Hitotsubashi faction
[05:04] ---
    establishes a new government.
[05:07] A
    Our greatest enemy, Sadasada, has been
[05:09] ---
    imprisoned after his
    crimes were exposed.
[05:12] A
    And what's amazing is
    that Shigeshige stepped
SIGN    Resignation
[05:16] ---
    down as shogun to take him down.
[05:19] A
    We are now in position
[05:21] ---
    to name Nobunobu-sama as
    the next shogun with ease.
[05:26] Sasa
    Nezu-dono, this is a
    government hospital.
[05:30] Sasa
    There are ears everywhere.
[05:32] A
    Impossible. The Hitotsubashi's
    time has come.
[05:36] A
    Nobody would dare to
    stand against us now.
[05:38] Hiji
    I beg to differ.
[05:39] Hiji
    The walls have ears and
    the doors have eyes.
[05:42] Hiji
    And there are...
[05:43] Kondo
    ...fairies on your shoulders.
[05:47] Nezu
    Demons!
[05:48] Nezu
    I must get going!
[05:49] Nezu
    Take care!
[05:51] Sasa
    I never dreamed that you
    would come visit me.
[05:55] Sasa
    It appears that despite your appearance,
[05:58] ---
    you have the hearts of fairies.
[06:00] Hiji
    Well, you're lined up to be
    the next police commissioner.
[06:04] Hiji
    Why not start kissing some ass?
[06:08] Hiji
    We'll come to your funeral.
[06:12] Sasa
    Have you come to take my life after
[06:15] ---
    realizing you were being used?
[06:17] Kondo
    We would be happy to let you use us
    if it meant a tyrant could be toppled,
[06:21] Kondo
    but if your goal was to make our lord
[06:24] ---
    take the fall to protect
    us, we'll take steps.
[06:30] Sasa
    Loyalty to your lord?
[06:32] Sasa
    Topple tyrants?
[06:34] Sasa
    Is that truly why you
    took up your swords?
[06:38] Sasa
    If you believe I orchestrated the
[06:41] ---
    shogun's fall for the sake
    of the Hitotsubashi faction,
[06:43] ---
    you are sorely mistaken.
[06:45] Sasa
    Not even an elite could have
    predicted this would happen.
[06:49] Sasa
    To think that the ruler
    of a nation gave up his position
[06:52] ---
    for the sake of a mere samurai.
[06:55] Sasa
    To think that the wild monkeys
    would take up their swords
[06:58] ---
    for an ancient promise.
[06:59] Sasa
    That man defies all reason.
[07:02] Sasa
    That Sakata Gintoki...
[07:05] Sasa
    I hope that capricious girl's stubborn streak
[07:10] ---
    wasn't a result of his bad influence.
[07:13] Sasa
    What do you say, Nobume-san?
[07:18] Sasa
    Unfortunately, I'm not naive
    enough to believe that
[07:22] ---
    replacing the shogun
    will change this world.
[07:27] Sasa
    Instead of depending
    on foreign countries,
[07:29] Sasa
    we should build a nation
    that can compete with them.
[07:32] Sasa
    That is the dream of the
    Hitotsubashi's leader,
[07:36] Sasa
    but I'm not one to go in
    for such a pipe dream.
[07:41] Sasa
    I have much bigger plans in mind.
[07:46] Sasa
    You don't need to worry.
[07:47] ---
    The Tendoshu should
    make their move soon.
[07:50] Sasa
    You should be guarding Sadasada,
    not hanging out here.
[07:55] Sasa
    I had a report from my men.
[07:58] Sasa
    The crow's carcass vanished.
[08:04] A
    Sadasada failed us.
[08:06] B
    He was so obsessed with
    maintaining power that he
[08:09] ---
    failed to notice the foundations
    crumble beneath him.
[08:13] C
    It would be detrimental to
    restore him to power now.
[08:16] D
    A fool who could not keep
    up with Hitotsubashi
[08:20] ---
    holds no value as a
    ruler in the first place.
[08:23] E
    We should have cut that worthless
    puppet loose sooner.
[08:28] Oboro
    While he may hold no value as a
    puppet, he can still serve as bait.
[08:36] A
    Have you returned, messenger
    of the heavens, Yatagarasu?
[08:40] Oboro
    It took a while to restore my
    meridians and keep myself alive.
[08:46] A
    Who would be capable of
    injuring you so severely?
[08:50] Oboro
    A demon who fell for the bait.
[08:54] A
    Ah, a demon...
[08:56] Oboro
    Sadasada is a figurehead
    of the Joi suppression.
[09:00] Oboro
    We need him to draw out certain foes.
[09:03] Oboro
    There is no need to fear
    the Hitotsubashi faction.
[09:07] Oboro
    They are nothing more than
    puppets, much like Sadasada.
[09:12] Oboro
    The ones using this chance to sneak
    into the heart of the country...
[09:16] ---
    They are our true enemies.
[09:18] A
    And we need that puppet to
    bring out those demons?
[09:25] Sada
    It took you long enough.
[09:29] Sada
    I'd grown tired of waiting.
[09:31] Sada
    I was thinking that the Tendoshu
    had finally abandoned me.
[09:36] Sada
    Now, unlock this door and release me.
[09:40] Sada
    It's too bad, Shigeshige!
[09:43] Sada
    You will never get to
    judge me! No one will!
[09:46] Sada
    Not even the heavens can judge me!
[09:54] Sada
    Huh?
[09:57] Taka
    That's right.
[09:59] Taka
    You won't be judged by the
    shogun or the heavens.
[10:05] Taka
    You will be judged
[10:10] Taka
    by me.
[10:11] Sada
    Y-You're...
[10:14] Taka
    Don't bother trying to remember me
[10:16] Taka
    since I'll bring the Tendoshu
[10:18] Taka
    and those worthless crows...
[10:20] Taka
    No...
[10:22] Taka
    I'll bring the heads of every person on
    this planet down to hell with me.
[10:27] Taka
    Say hello
[10:29] Taka
    to Sensei for me.
[10:42] Oboro
    Yes.
[10:44] Oboro
    Those demons are our true enemies.
[10:48] Oboro
    The students of Shoyo.
[10:51] Nobu
    It appears that you were
    a step too late, Oboro.
[10:56] Oboro
    So you're not fooling around,
[10:59] ---
    Mukuro...
[11:00] Oboro
    No, you go by the name Imai Nobume now.
[11:04] Oboro
    Once, you served the heavens and
[11:06] ---
    were named one of the Naraku
    Three at a young age,
[11:10] Oboro
    yet you now side with a student
[11:13] ---
    of Shoyo and turn your
    blade on the heavens?
[11:17] Nobu
    Isaburo said he would go along
    with that man's grand scheme.
[11:22] Nobu
    So I will do the same.
[11:24] Oboro
    I see.
[11:26] Oboro
    Then one of us will have
[11:28] ---
    our feathers plucked
    the next time we meet.
[11:32] Oboro
    Wait.
[11:35] Oboro
    Were those two anything like Shoyo?
[11:40] Nobu
    No.
[11:42] Nobu
    One was trying to protect
    Shoyo's legacy.
[11:46] Nobu
    The other was trying to
    destroy Shoyo's legacy.
[11:51] Nobu
    But they had one thing in common.
[11:55] Nobu
    They both
[11:58] ---
    had such sorrow in their eyes.
[12:13] Oki
    I suppose this is karma.
[12:16] Oki
    A man who built an empire
    through assassination
[12:19] ---
    was finished by an assassin.
[12:22] Oki
    Well, it could get ugly if the
[12:24] ---
    public learned this happened
    right after that big ruckus,
[12:27] Oki
    so the official announcement will
    be that he died of illness.
[12:31] Oki
    I can understand that
    you're not happy about it,
[12:34] ---
    but we've been given orders.
[12:36] Gin
    What about the killer?
[12:37] Oki
    Well, I can't tell if
    they're even interested
[12:40] ---
    in finding out who it was.
[12:43] Tsu
    Did the Tendoshu kill him
    so he couldn't talk?
[12:46] Oki
    After they mobilized all those
    people to rescue Sadasada?
[12:51] Oki
    I'm pretty sure that
    the Tendoshu were still
[12:54] ---
    looking for a chance to
    take back Sadasada.
[12:58] Oki
    The assassination was
    carried out despite that.
[13:00] Oki
    No...
[13:02] Oki
    It was probably meant
    as a declaration of war
[13:04] ---
    from the Hitotsubashi to the Tendoshu.
[13:06] Oki
    To prove it, we have an imperial
    decree from the Emperor.
[13:11] Shi
    What? Shogun-sama's
    resignation was denied?
[13:14] Soyo
    Yes.
[13:15] Soyo
    My brother has been
    ordered to continue
[13:18] ---
    supporting the Bakufu
    now that our uncle is gone.
[13:22] Shin
    Oh, that's great!
[13:24] Kagura
    We were worried that Sho-chan
    quit because of us.
[13:29] Oki
    Those fools are probably thrilled,
[13:32] Oki
    but it's obvious that the
    Tendoshu were behind this act.
[13:37] Oki
    Which means that the Tendoshu see
    the Hitotsubashi as their enemy.
[13:42] Oki
    Shigeshige has only been set
    up as an interim ruler.
[13:47] Tsu
    Does the Hitotsubashi faction
    intend to fight the Tendoshu
[13:51] ---
    to take control of the government?
[13:54] Oki
    Well, I don't know if they're
    trying to take control,
[13:57] Gin
    That's mine.
[13:58] Oki
    or if they want to get rid of the
[14:01] ---
    Bakufu and throw the world into chaos.
[14:04] Oki
    Either way, there's a lot
    of action in the shadows.
[14:08] Gin
    Wait. If the Bakufu's a mess
    right now, that old man is...
[14:13] Oki
    He managed to survive.
[14:15] Oki
    But he probably can't
    step outside the palace,
[14:19] ---
    much less visit Yoshiwara.
[14:22] Oki
    His health is certainly a concern,
[14:25] Oki
    but the palace is on lockdown,
[14:27] ---
    and there are even guards
    watching the shogun.
[14:29] Oki
    No one is allowed to enter or leave.
[14:33] Nobu
    Your Highness, it is
    time for you to return.
[14:36] Soyo
    Nobume-san...
[14:40] Nobu
    That look won't help.
[14:43] Oki
    Well, I figured this would happen.
[14:47] Oki
    Seriously, what were we fighting for?
[14:59] Hino
    The doctor said that she won't
    make it through the night.
[15:02] Hino
    This may be the last moon
    Lady Suzuran ever waits for.
[15:10] Hino
    Don't be sad.
[15:11] Hino
    Suzuran-san and the rest of
    you all tried your best.
[15:16] Hino
    Did you think that I didn't
    know you were sneaking around?
[15:22] Hino
    Honestly, that was quite
    a mess you caused.
[15:25] Hino
    I was quite worried since you've
    started to act like Gin-san.
[15:30] Hino
    That's why I tried to
    keep my mouth shut,
[15:33] ---
    but I guess it didn't matter in the end.
[15:36] Tsu
    Hinowa, did you know who
    Suzuran was waiting for?
[15:40] Hino
    Hard to say. But considering
    how long she's waited,
[15:46] Hino
    he must have been a wonderful man.
[15:49] Hino
    That much I do know.
[15:53] Hino
    Isn't that right, Suzuran-san?
[15:55] Suzu
    Hinowa-chan, could you
    help me with my makeup?
[16:02] Suzu
    It's time to fulfill our promise.
[16:13] Sasa
    Where are you going at this late hour?
[16:17] Sasa
    You're running off to amuse yourself
    in Yoshiwara with that body?
[16:20] Sasa
    You'll die.
[16:21] Sasa
    I can't afford any further commotion.
[16:25] Sasa
    Please restrain yourself
    and return to your room.
[16:28] Mai
    I understand that I'm
    disobeying orders.
[16:31] Mai
    If you intend to cut me down, go ahead.
[16:34] Mai
    I no longer have any arms
    for your blade to take.
[16:37] Mai
    You can help yourself
    to my legs or head.
[16:41] Mai
    However, those young people helped
    revive the promise we once made.
[16:47] Mai
    The thread tied to my soul
[16:51] Mai
    cannot be severed by any blade.
[16:56] Sasa
    Normally, I would forgive an elderly
    man's desire to fool around,
[17:00] ---
    but the circumstances will not allow it.
[17:02] Sasa
    I cannot allow anything to
    happen that could potentially
[17:06] ---
    aggravate the tense political situation.
[17:10] Sasa
    I will warn you one more time.
[17:12] Sasa
    Please return to your room.
[17:15] Hino
    Okay, all done.
[17:18] Hino
    You look beautiful, Suzuran-san.
[17:20] Hino
    Every girl wants to look pretty
    for the man she loves.
[17:24] Hino
    Now, Tsukuyo.
[17:26] Hino
    Bring the kimono.
[17:28] Hino
    What are you doing?
[17:29] Hino
    Tsukuyo?
[17:31] Suzu
    Tsukuyo-chan, did you make that
    promise with your special man?
[17:38] Tsu
    No...
[17:39] Suzu
    Was it an important promise?
[17:42] Gin
    We'll bring the old man
    back to Suzuran together.
[17:47] Suzu
    Then you should believe in it.
[17:52] Suzu
    A good man will always
    keep his promise.
[17:59] Suzu
    Isn't that right?
[18:03] Tsu
    Yeah...
[18:05] Tsu
    You're right.
[18:07] Sasa
    What?
[18:08] Sasa
    How did you get in here?
[18:11] Gin
    If you wanna play Kick the
    Can, follow the finger!
[18:17] All
    Me!
[18:20] Sasa
    Wh—
[18:21] Sasa
    What are you people doing?
[18:23] Sasa
    Why is the shogun here?
[18:25] Oki
    This is too many people to
    use rock-paper-scissors,
[18:27] ---
    so Hijikata can be It.
[18:29] Hiji
    Screw that!
[18:29] Hiji
    Look at all these people!
[18:30] Hiji
    That would be torture!
[18:32] Shige
    Enough.
[18:33] Shige
    I've seen enough internal strife.
[18:36] Shige
    As shogun, I will choose
    someone to be It.
[18:40] Shige
    Grampy, if you will?
[18:43] Sasa
    Please stop this.
[18:45] Sasa
    You've allowed outsiders inside,
[18:47] ---
    and now you're abandoning
    your responsibility?
[18:55] Nobu
    Go grab the can.
[18:58] Nobu
    It probably flew all
    the way to Yoshiwara.
[19:02] Gin
    Okay, everybody hide.
[19:10] Suzu
    I loathe the moon.
[19:13] Suzu
    With nightfall, it brings you to me,
[19:17] Suzu
    but it also takes you from
    me when dawn breaks.
[19:21] Suzu
    I wish the moon would never leave us.
[19:24] Suzu
    Then you would always be here with me.
[19:29] A
    The moon will come with the night again.
[19:33] A
    And someday, when it does,
    I will take you with me in the morning.
[19:41] A
    Wait before the cherry blossom tree
[19:43] ---
    on the night of the next full moon.
[19:46] Suzu
    Do you promise?
[19:49] A
    I promise.
[19:52] Both
    Promise.
[20:12] Suzu
    You
[20:16] ---
    finally came.
[20:23] Suzu
    The final moon brought you to me.
[20:30] Suzu
    But I must apologize.
[20:33] Suzu
    Both the cherry blossoms and I have
    withered during the long wait.
[20:43] Mai
    What are you talking about?
[20:48] Mai
    Nothing has changed.
[20:52] Mai
    The cherry blossoms are every bit
    as beautiful as they once were.
[21:06] Suzu
    Maizo-sama...
[21:09] Suzu
    Am I dreaming?
[21:12] Suzu
    Will you be gone when the moon leaves
    and I wake up in the morning?
[21:18] Mai
    No, the moon tonight will never set.
[21:29] Mai
    You will never awaken from this dream.
[21:35] Mai
    We will always,
[21:38] Mai
    always,
[21:41] Mai
    be together.
[21:54] Mai
    I promise.
[21:58] Mai
    I promise.
[23:51] Gin
    We have an announcement to make
    on the progress of the movie!
[23:54] Gin
    If the next image shows five or
[23:57] ---
    six storyboard booklets,
    we're well on our way.
[24:00] Gin
    Take it away!
[24:02] Gin
    Huh?
SIGN    Huh...
SIGN    What...
SIGN    Er?
SIGN    That's odd?

261 - Gintama Classic - Sleep Helps a Child Grow

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:36] Nobu
    The Tendoshu...
[01:38] Nobu
    So they've gotten off their fat
    asses to save their little toy.
[01:44] Sada
    It's rather unfortunate,
    dog of the Hitotsubashi.
[01:48] Sada
    As I told you before,
    nobody can ever judge me.
[01:52] Sada
    You are the ones who will be judged.
[01:56] A
    Lord Sadasada, it appears that
    you've suffered a serious setback.
[02:02] A
    I won't bother asking
    for an explanation.
[02:04] A
    No matter the reason,
[02:05] ---
    it is not in the interest of
    any of the parties involved
[02:10] ---
    to allow further commotion on
    the sacred palace grounds.
[02:12] A
    You must have your
    reasons for rebelling,
[02:16] ---
    but we will be intervening
    in this matter.
[02:19] A
    We will take temporary
    custody of Lord Sadasada.
[02:22] A
    Would you not agree that
    his sentence should
[02:25] ---
    be determined after
    thorough investigation?
[02:29] A
    And while your cause
    may have been just,
[02:32] ---
    you must be punished for
    disrupting the gover—
[02:33] Shige
    That won't be necessary.
[02:36] Shige
    I apologize for the
    long trip you've made,
[02:40] Shige
    but this is a domestic affair.
[02:44] Shige
    It only makes sense for us
    to settle this ourselves.
[02:47] Sada
    Sh-Shigeshige?!
[02:48] A
    Why, if it isn't the shogun.
[02:50] A
    I'm glad to see that you are safe.
[02:53] A
    But are you sure about that?
[02:55] A
    We proposed this solution
    with you in mind.
[02:58] A
    Sheltered by your uncle, you
    have grown to be a gentle lord.
[03:02] A
    Would you be capable of
    executing the beloved retainers
[03:04] ---
    who have turned their swords on you?
[03:07] Shige
    None of them have turned
    their swords on me.
[03:11] Shige
    They may be branded traitors
    and enemies of the state,
[03:16] Shige
    but I know what it is that
    they strive to protect.
[03:20] Shige
    They do not follow laws written by
    politicians for their own convenience.
[03:25] Shige
    They do not serve the
    empty title of shogun.
[03:30] Shige
    They follow their convictions.
[03:32] Shige
    They serve their souls.
[03:34] Shige
    That is what they fight for.
[03:36] Shige
    You can sully their reputation, but
    you cannot tarnish their hearts.
[03:42] Shige
    If I were to call that a crime
    and punish them for it...
[03:55] Shige
    My entire army would become criminals
[03:57] ---
    for turning their swords
     on their foolish ruler.
[04:01] Shige
    If I tried to punish them all,
    this nation would crumble.
[04:06] Sada
    Shigeshige! You bastard!
[04:09] Shige
    They have committed no crime.
[04:12] Shige
    The blame lies with the shogun family
    that was unworthy of ruling them.
[04:17] Shige
    Uncle, I am prepared to accept
    responsibility for failing to stop you.
SIGN    Resignation
[04:25] Shige
    We can go to hell together.
[04:30] Sada
    A-Are you going to give up
    your position as shogun?!
[04:36] Shige
    Please leave.
[04:38] Shige
    This is
[04:40] Shige
    Samurai Country.
SIGN    Unsetting Moon
[04:49] A
    You did a spectacular job, Sasaki-dono.
[04:54] A
    Nobunobu-sama was impressed by
    the devotion you demonstrated
[04:58] ---
    by carrying out your
    mission while injured.
[05:01] A
    You will be rewarded once
    the Hitotsubashi faction
[05:04] ---
    establishes a new government.
[05:07] A
    Our greatest enemy, Sadasada, has been
[05:09] ---
    imprisoned after his
    crimes were exposed.
[05:12] A
    And what's amazing is
    that Shigeshige stepped
SIGN    Resignation
[05:16] ---
    down as shogun to take him down.
[05:19] A
    We are now in position
[05:21] ---
    to name Nobunobu-sama as
    the next shogun with ease.
[05:26] Sasa
    Nezu-dono, this is a
    government hospital.
[05:30] Sasa
    There are ears everywhere.
[05:32] A
    Impossible. The Hitotsubashi's
    time has come.
[05:36] A
    Nobody would dare to
    stand against us now.
[05:38] Hiji
    I beg to differ.
[05:39] Hiji
    The walls have ears and
    the doors have eyes.
[05:42] Hiji
    And there are...
[05:43] Kondo
    ...fairies on your shoulders.
[05:47] Nezu
    Demons!
[05:48] Nezu
    I must get going!
[05:49] Nezu
    Take care!
[05:51] Sasa
    I never dreamed that you
    would come visit me.
[05:55] Sasa
    It appears that despite your appearance,
[05:58] ---
    you have the hearts of fairies.
[06:00] Hiji
    Well, you're lined up to be
    the next police commissioner.
[06:04] Hiji
    Why not start kissing some ass?
[06:08] Hiji
    We'll come to your funeral.
[06:12] Sasa
    Have you come to take my life after
[06:15] ---
    realizing you were being used?
[06:17] Kondo
    We would be happy to let you use us
    if it meant a tyrant could be toppled,
[06:21] Kondo
    but if your goal was to make our lord
[06:24] ---
    take the fall to protect
    us, we'll take steps.
[06:30] Sasa
    Loyalty to your lord?
[06:32] Sasa
    Topple tyrants?
[06:34] Sasa
    Is that truly why you
    took up your swords?
[06:38] Sasa
    If you believe I orchestrated the
[06:41] ---
    shogun's fall for the sake
    of the Hitotsubashi faction,
[06:43] ---
    you are sorely mistaken.
[06:45] Sasa
    Not even an elite could have
    predicted this would happen.
[06:49] Sasa
    To think that the ruler
    of a nation gave up his position
[06:52] ---
    for the sake of a mere samurai.
[06:55] Sasa
    To think that the wild monkeys
    would take up their swords
[06:58] ---
    for an ancient promise.
[06:59] Sasa
    That man defies all reason.
[07:02] Sasa
    That Sakata Gintoki...
[07:05] Sasa
    I hope that capricious girl's stubborn streak
[07:10] ---
    wasn't a result of his bad influence.
[07:13] Sasa
    What do you say, Nobume-san?
[07:18] Sasa
    Unfortunately, I'm not naive
    enough to believe that
[07:22] ---
    replacing the shogun
    will change this world.
[07:27] Sasa
    Instead of depending
    on foreign countries,
[07:29] Sasa
    we should build a nation
    that can compete with them.
[07:32] Sasa
    That is the dream of the
    Hitotsubashi's leader,
[07:36] Sasa
    but I'm not one to go in
    for such a pipe dream.
[07:41] Sasa
    I have much bigger plans in mind.
[07:46] Sasa
    You don't need to worry.
[07:47] ---
    The Tendoshu should
    make their move soon.
[07:50] Sasa
    You should be guarding Sadasada,
    not hanging out here.
[07:55] Sasa
    I had a report from my men.
[07:58] Sasa
    The crow's carcass vanished.
[08:04] A
    Sadasada failed us.
[08:06] B
    He was so obsessed with
    maintaining power that he
[08:09] ---
    failed to notice the foundations
    crumble beneath him.
[08:13] C
    It would be detrimental to
    restore him to power now.
[08:16] D
    A fool who could not keep
    up with Hitotsubashi
[08:20] ---
    holds no value as a
    ruler in the first place.
[08:23] E
    We should have cut that worthless
    puppet loose sooner.
[08:28] Oboro
    While he may hold no value as a
    puppet, he can still serve as bait.
[08:36] A
    Have you returned, messenger
    of the heavens, Yatagarasu?
[08:40] Oboro
    It took a while to restore my
    meridians and keep myself alive.
[08:46] A
    Who would be capable of
    injuring you so severely?
[08:50] Oboro
    A demon who fell for the bait.
[08:54] A
    Ah, a demon...
[08:56] Oboro
    Sadasada is a figurehead
    of the Joi suppression.
[09:00] Oboro
    We need him to draw out certain foes.
[09:03] Oboro
    There is no need to fear
    the Hitotsubashi faction.
[09:07] Oboro
    They are nothing more than
    puppets, much like Sadasada.
[09:12] Oboro
    The ones using this chance to sneak
    into the heart of the country...
[09:16] ---
    They are our true enemies.
[09:18] A
    And we need that puppet to
    bring out those demons?
[09:25] Sada
    It took you long enough.
[09:29] Sada
    I'd grown tired of waiting.
[09:31] Sada
    I was thinking that the Tendoshu
    had finally abandoned me.
[09:36] Sada
    Now, unlock this door and release me.
[09:40] Sada
    It's too bad, Shigeshige!
[09:43] Sada
    You will never get to
    judge me! No one will!
[09:46] Sada
    Not even the heavens can judge me!
[09:54] Sada
    Huh?
[09:57] Taka
    That's right.
[09:59] Taka
    You won't be judged by the
    shogun or the heavens.
[10:05] Taka
    You will be judged
[10:10] Taka
    by me.
[10:11] Sada
    Y-You're...
[10:14] Taka
    Don't bother trying to remember me
[10:16] Taka
    since I'll bring the Tendoshu
[10:18] Taka
    and those worthless crows...
[10:20] Taka
    No...
[10:22] Taka
    I'll bring the heads of every person on
    this planet down to hell with me.
[10:27] Taka
    Say hello
[10:29] Taka
    to Sensei for me.
[10:42] Oboro
    Yes.
[10:44] Oboro
    Those demons are our true enemies.
[10:48] Oboro
    The students of Shoyo.
[10:51] Nobu
    It appears that you were
    a step too late, Oboro.
[10:56] Oboro
    So you're not fooling around,
[10:59] ---
    Mukuro...
[11:00] Oboro
    No, you go by the name Imai Nobume now.
[11:04] Oboro
    Once, you served the heavens and
[11:06] ---
    were named one of the Naraku
    Three at a young age,
[11:10] Oboro
    yet you now side with a student
[11:13] ---
    of Shoyo and turn your
    blade on the heavens?
[11:17] Nobu
    Isaburo said he would go along
    with that man's grand scheme.
[11:22] Nobu
    So I will do the same.
[11:24] Oboro
    I see.
[11:26] Oboro
    Then one of us will have
[11:28] ---
    our feathers plucked
    the next time we meet.
[11:32] Oboro
    Wait.
[11:35] Oboro
    Were those two anything like Shoyo?
[11:40] Nobu
    No.
[11:42] Nobu
    One was trying to protect
    Shoyo's legacy.
[11:46] Nobu
    The other was trying to
    destroy Shoyo's legacy.
[11:51] Nobu
    But they had one thing in common.
[11:55] Nobu
    They both
[11:58] ---
    had such sorrow in their eyes.
[12:13] Oki
    I suppose this is karma.
[12:16] Oki
    A man who built an empire
    through assassination
[12:19] ---
    was finished by an assassin.
[12:22] Oki
    Well, it could get ugly if the
[12:24] ---
    public learned this happened
    right after that big ruckus,
[12:27] Oki
    so the official announcement will
    be that he died of illness.
[12:31] Oki
    I can understand that
    you're not happy about it,
[12:34] ---
    but we've been given orders.
[12:36] Gin
    What about the killer?
[12:37] Oki
    Well, I can't tell if
    they're even interested
[12:40] ---
    in finding out who it was.
[12:43] Tsu
    Did the Tendoshu kill him
    so he couldn't talk?
[12:46] Oki
    After they mobilized all those
    people to rescue Sadasada?
[12:51] Oki
    I'm pretty sure that
    the Tendoshu were still
[12:54] ---
    looking for a chance to
    take back Sadasada.
[12:58] Oki
    The assassination was
    carried out despite that.
[13:00] Oki
    No...
[13:02] Oki
    It was probably meant
    as a declaration of war
[13:04] ---
    from the Hitotsubashi to the Tendoshu.
[13:06] Oki
    To prove it, we have an imperial
    decree from the Emperor.
[13:11] Shi
    What? Shogun-sama's
    resignation was denied?
[13:14] Soyo
    Yes.
[13:15] Soyo
    My brother has been
    ordered to continue
[13:18] ---
    supporting the Bakufu
    now that our uncle is gone.
[13:22] Shin
    Oh, that's great!
[13:24] Kagura
    We were worried that Sho-chan
    quit because of us.
[13:29] Oki
    Those fools are probably thrilled,
[13:32] Oki
    but it's obvious that the
    Tendoshu were behind this act.
[13:37] Oki
    Which means that the Tendoshu see
    the Hitotsubashi as their enemy.
[13:42] Oki
    Shigeshige has only been set
    up as an interim ruler.
[13:47] Tsu
    Does the Hitotsubashi faction
    intend to fight the Tendoshu
[13:51] ---
    to take control of the government?
[13:54] Oki
    Well, I don't know if they're
    trying to take control,
[13:57] Gin
    That's mine.
[13:58] Oki
    or if they want to get rid of the
[14:01] ---
    Bakufu and throw the world into chaos.
[14:04] Oki
    Either way, there's a lot
    of action in the shadows.
[14:08] Gin
    Wait. If the Bakufu's a mess
    right now, that old man is...
[14:13] Oki
    He managed to survive.
[14:15] Oki
    But he probably can't
    step outside the palace,
[14:19] ---
    much less visit Yoshiwara.
[14:22] Oki
    His health is certainly a concern,
[14:25] Oki
    but the palace is on lockdown,
[14:27] ---
    and there are even guards
    watching the shogun.
[14:29] Oki
    No one is allowed to enter or leave.
[14:33] Nobu
    Your Highness, it is
    time for you to return.
[14:36] Soyo
    Nobume-san...
[14:40] Nobu
    That look won't help.
[14:43] Oki
    Well, I figured this would happen.
[14:47] Oki
    Seriously, what were we fighting for?
[14:59] Hino
    The doctor said that she won't
    make it through the night.
[15:02] Hino
    This may be the last moon
    Lady Suzuran ever waits for.
[15:10] Hino
    Don't be sad.
[15:11] Hino
    Suzuran-san and the rest of
    you all tried your best.
[15:16] Hino
    Did you think that I didn't
    know you were sneaking around?
[15:22] Hino
    Honestly, that was quite
    a mess you caused.
[15:25] Hino
    I was quite worried since you've
    started to act like Gin-san.
[15:30] Hino
    That's why I tried to
    keep my mouth shut,
[15:33] ---
    but I guess it didn't matter in the end.
[15:36] Tsu
    Hinowa, did you know who
    Suzuran was waiting for?
[15:40] Hino
    Hard to say. But considering
    how long she's waited,
[15:46] Hino
    he must have been a wonderful man.
[15:49] Hino
    That much I do know.
[15:53] Hino
    Isn't that right, Suzuran-san?
[15:55] Suzu
    Hinowa-chan, could you
    help me with my makeup?
[16:02] Suzu
    It's time to fulfill our promise.
[16:13] Sasa
    Where are you going at this late hour?
[16:17] Sasa
    You're running off to amuse yourself
    in Yoshiwara with that body?
[16:20] Sasa
    You'll die.
[16:21] Sasa
    I can't afford any further commotion.
[16:25] Sasa
    Please restrain yourself
    and return to your room.
[16:28] Mai
    I understand that I'm
    disobeying orders.
[16:31] Mai
    If you intend to cut me down, go ahead.
[16:34] Mai
    I no longer have any arms
    for your blade to take.
[16:37] Mai
    You can help yourself
    to my legs or head.
[16:41] Mai
    However, those young people helped
    revive the promise we once made.
[16:47] Mai
    The thread tied to my soul
[16:51] Mai
    cannot be severed by any blade.
[16:56] Sasa
    Normally, I would forgive an elderly
    man's desire to fool around,
[17:00] ---
    but the circumstances will not allow it.
[17:02] Sasa
    I cannot allow anything to
    happen that could potentially
[17:06] ---
    aggravate the tense political situation.
[17:10] Sasa
    I will warn you one more time.
[17:12] Sasa
    Please return to your room.
[17:15] Hino
    Okay, all done.
[17:18] Hino
    You look beautiful, Suzuran-san.
[17:20] Hino
    Every girl wants to look pretty
    for the man she loves.
[17:24] Hino
    Now, Tsukuyo.
[17:26] Hino
    Bring the kimono.
[17:28] Hino
    What are you doing?
[17:29] Hino
    Tsukuyo?
[17:31] Suzu
    Tsukuyo-chan, did you make that
    promise with your special man?
[17:38] Tsu
    No...
[17:39] Suzu
    Was it an important promise?
[17:42] Gin
    We'll bring the old man
    back to Suzuran together.
[17:47] Suzu
    Then you should believe in it.
[17:52] Suzu
    A good man will always
    keep his promise.
[17:59] Suzu
    Isn't that right?
[18:03] Tsu
    Yeah...
[18:05] Tsu
    You're right.
[18:07] Sasa
    What?
[18:08] Sasa
    How did you get in here?
[18:11] Gin
    If you wanna play Kick the
    Can, follow the finger!
[18:17] All
    Me!
[18:20] Sasa
    Wh—
[18:21] Sasa
    What are you people doing?
[18:23] Sasa
    Why is the shogun here?
[18:25] Oki
    This is too many people to
    use rock-paper-scissors,
[18:27] ---
    so Hijikata can be It.
[18:29] Hiji
    Screw that!
[18:29] Hiji
    Look at all these people!
[18:30] Hiji
    That would be torture!
[18:32] Shige
    Enough.
[18:33] Shige
    I've seen enough internal strife.
[18:36] Shige
    As shogun, I will choose
    someone to be It.
[18:40] Shige
    Grampy, if you will?
[18:43] Sasa
    Please stop this.
[18:45] Sasa
    You've allowed outsiders inside,
[18:47] ---
    and now you're abandoning
    your responsibility?
[18:55] Nobu
    Go grab the can.
[18:58] Nobu
    It probably flew all
    the way to Yoshiwara.
[19:02] Gin
    Okay, everybody hide.
[19:10] Suzu
    I loathe the moon.
[19:13] Suzu
    With nightfall, it brings you to me,
[19:17] Suzu
    but it also takes you from
    me when dawn breaks.
[19:21] Suzu
    I wish the moon would never leave us.
[19:24] Suzu
    Then you would always be here with me.
[19:29] A
    The moon will come with the night again.
[19:33] A
    And someday, when it does,
    I will take you with me in the morning.
[19:41] A
    Wait before the cherry blossom tree
[19:43] ---
    on the night of the next full moon.
[19:46] Suzu
    Do you promise?
[19:49] A
    I promise.
[19:52] Both
    Promise.
[20:12] Suzu
    You
[20:16] ---
    finally came.
[20:23] Suzu
    The final moon brought you to me.
[20:30] Suzu
    But I must apologize.
[20:33] Suzu
    Both the cherry blossoms and I have
    withered during the long wait.
[20:43] Mai
    What are you talking about?
[20:48] Mai
    Nothing has changed.
[20:52] Mai
    The cherry blossoms are every bit
    as beautiful as they once were.
[21:06] Suzu
    Maizo-sama...
[21:09] Suzu
    Am I dreaming?
[21:12] Suzu
    Will you be gone when the moon leaves
    and I wake up in the morning?
[21:18] Mai
    No, the moon tonight will never set.
[21:29] Mai
    You will never awaken from this dream.
[21:35] Mai
    We will always,
[21:38] Mai
    always,
[21:41] Mai
    be together.
[21:54] Mai
    I promise.
[21:58] Mai
    I promise.
[23:51] Gin
    We have an announcement to make
    on the progress of the movie!
[23:54] Gin
    If the next image shows five or
[23:57] ---
    six storyboard booklets,
    we're well on our way.
[24:00] Gin
    Take it away!
[24:02] Gin
    Huh?
SIGN    Huh...
SIGN    What...
SIGN    Er?
SIGN    That's odd?

262 - The Sound of a Beam Can Pierce Every Heart

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Shimura Ken
[01:33] Otae
    Father, it's been a while.
[01:36] Otae
    Father, I have something
    to tell you today.
[01:39] Otae
    I think it's time to begin.
[01:42] Otae
    I will become the character
    I was created to be.
[01:46] Otae
    It's time to restore the Kodokan
    Dojo you left us, Father.
[01:51] Otae
    Sorry to make you wait 260 episodes.
[01:54] Otae
    It's not that I forgot my character.
[01:56] Otae
    And I wasn't tired of the role.
[01:58] Otae
    I had to save up money first.
[02:01] Otae
    I promise to make the dojo better
    than when you were still around.
[02:05] Otae
    Please support me.
[02:08] Obi
    Oh?
[02:09] Obi
    Are you Otae-chan?
SIGN    The Sound of a Beam Can Pierce Every Heart
SIGN    Kodokan Dojo
[02:18] Shin
    What?! You want to
    recruit new students?!
[02:21] Shin
    S-Sis, I thought you forgot the
    original purpose of your character!
[02:25] Shin
    Weren't you going to
    focus on your night dojo?
[02:28] Otae
    Please, do I really look like
    such a heartless woman?
[02:32] Otae
    Do your best and let
    nature take its course.
[02:35] Otae
    I went to Tsudaya the other day,
[02:37] ---
    and I received a signal
    that it was time.
[02:39] Shin
    It's because you rewatched volume 2
    of the DVDs and remembered!
[02:43] Otae
    I acquired a fair amount
    of money in episode 200,
[02:45] ---
    so I think now is the ideal time.
[02:48] Gin
    What are you babbling about?
[02:50] Gin
    Nobody's gonna pay money to learn
    how to use a sword these days.
[02:54] Gin
    The age of using swords has ended.
[02:57] Gin
    It's now the age of much
    younger wives using Kato-chan.
[03:01] Shin
    When did we start talking
    about Kato-chan and Ken-chan?!
[03:03] Kag
    Kids don't dream about becoming
    samurai or ninja anymore.
[03:08] Kag
    They want to become
    Kato-chan's wife or part of
[03:12] ---
    a backup band working up
    to becoming an idol.
SIGN    My Future Dream: Backup Band
[03:14] Shin
    We don't live in an age
    of evil conspiracies!
[03:17] Otae
    That's why this dojo is needed.
[03:19] Otae
    A part of ancient Japanese
    culture is fading away.
[03:24] Otae
    It's our duty to protect it by passing
    this knowledge to the next generation.
[03:29] Gin
    But do you even know what
    a kendo glove smells like?
[03:33] Gin
    Those things should get a new job
    as the straw used to wrap natto.
[03:38] Gin
    And in anime, the mask makes it
    impossible to tell who it is.
[03:41] Gin
    And when people thrust,
[03:42] ---
    you'd think they were striking to kill.
[03:44] Gin
    Isn't it our duty to end that
    practice with our generation?
[03:47] Shin
    Are you really a swordsman?
[03:49] Otae
    It's true that there are aspects
    that no longer apply,
[03:52] Otae
    so I believe it's important to evolve
    and adapt certain practices
[03:56] ---
    while maintaining the tradition.
[03:59] Otae
    The school of Tendo Mushin
    needs a slight renewal.
[04:03] Shin
    Renewal?
[04:04] Otae
    Yes.
[04:10] Otae
    To the school of Tendo
    Mushin beam sabers!
SIGN    Tendo Mushin Beam Sabers
[04:15] Shin
    What happened to tradition?!
[04:17] Kag
    But beam sabers will resonate with
    kids, and maybe with the Amanto.
[04:23] Shin
    Uh, that's not the issue here.
[04:25] Shin
    And who's going to teach
    them how to use beam sabers?
[04:28] Otae
    That's all worked out already.
[04:30] Shin
    Huh?
[04:31] Otae
    I've found the perfect person.
[04:33] Otae
    He knows the School of Tendo Mushin
    and he can use beam sabers.
[04:37] Shin
    Huh?
[04:39] Otae
    You'll be so surprised, Shin-chan.
[04:46] Obi
    Hey, long time no see.
[04:50] Obi
    You've gotten pretty big, Shin-bo!
[05:02] Shin
    Ha—
[05:04] Shin
    Hajime-nii!
[05:06] Obi
    Whoa!
[05:09] Obi
    You've gotten pretty strong, too!
[05:11] Shin
    Hajime-nii, you're alive!
[05:13] Shin
    That's great! Just great!
[05:17] Gin
    Huh? A former instructor?
[05:20] Otae
    Yes, this was back when
    our dojo was busy.
[05:24] Obi
    The name's Obi Hajime!
SIGN    Obi Hajime
[05:27] Obi
    If that's a pain to say, call me Obi-one!
SIGN    Obi Hajime
    Obi-one
[05:29] Gin
    No, that would be an even bigger pain.
[05:32] Obi
    Sounds like you've been
    taking care of Otae-chan
[05:34] ---
    and Shin-bo while I was gone.
[05:36] Obi
    Let me express my gratitude.
[05:38] Obi
    Thank you very hamnida!
[05:39] Gin
    Thank you? Hamnida? So
    which country are you from?
[05:43] Otae
    Obi-one-niisama has been wandering
    around space for a long time,
[05:46] Otae
    so he's picked up some words
    from different planets.
[05:50] Obi
    Soz for being so hard to understand!
[05:52] Gin
    Uh, how do you pick up a
    word like "soz" from space?
[05:54] Shin
    Gin-san, Hajime-nii is really amazing.
[05:57] Shin
    He became an instructor at
    our dojo at a young age,
[05:59] Shin
    and his skill was known around Edo!
[06:02] Shin
    Once his talent was recognized,
[06:04] ---
    he was chosen to study abroad
    and took off into space.
[06:07] Shin
    But the teleportation device at the terminal
[06:09] ---
    exploded while he was there,
[06:11] Shin
    so we thought he would never return.
[06:16] Obi
    When the device blew up,
[06:18] ---
    I was miraculously teleported
    to a planet way out there.
[06:21] Obi
    While there, I figured I might as
    well learn how they used swords,
[06:25] Obi
    but before I knew it, I was
    the strongest one around.
[06:28] Obi
    I would then move on to the
    next planet, and so on,
[06:33] Obi
    until people started calling
    me Galaxy Sword Master.
SIGN    Galaxy Sword Master
[06:39] Obi
    People stopped challenging me.
[06:43] Obi
    It got boring, so I came back to Edo.
[06:46] Shin
    Wow! Galaxy Sword Master!
[06:49] Shin
    You're awesome, Hajime-nii!
[06:51] Obi
    Nah, I'm still nothing
    compared to your old man.
[06:52] Gin
    Hey, what's a Galaxy Sword Master?
[06:55] Kag
    His character is dumb
    and his title is dumb.
[06:55] Obi
    He was one strong samurai.
[06:59] Obi
    I never thought the
    dojo would shut down.
[07:03] Obi
    Shin-bo, Otae-chan...
[07:05] Obi
    Soz for not being here to
    help when you needed me.
[07:09] Obi
    If I can help you with the beam saber
    that I mastered out in space,
[07:13] Obi
    I'll do whatever you ask!
[07:17] Obi
    I'm getting excited!
[07:18] Gin
    Watch it!
[07:20] Obi
    Let's work together to
    revive your old man's dojo!
[07:24] Obi
    And we'll make Kodokan the number
    one dojo in the universe!
[07:28] Obi
    Hip, hip, hooray!
[07:35] Gin
    Weren't we reviving it?
[07:40] Otae
    Hey, hey! Come on
    down! Have a looksee!
SIGN    School of Tendo Mushin Beam Saber
[07:43] Otae
    We're starting up a new school in Edo!
[07:47] Shin
    The School of Tendo Mushin Beam Saber!
[07:50] Otae
    We're moving into the age of beams!
[07:53] Shin
    You can do anything with beams!
[07:54] Shin
    Remove the wrinkles and
    moles from your face!
[07:57] Shin
    Pierce the heart of your favorite girl!
[07:59] Shin
    Let's beam it up together!
[08:01] Gin
    Uh, so why are we
    beaming it up with you?
[08:05] Obi
    This is bad, Gintoki-dono!
[08:07] Obi
    Nobody's stopping!
[08:09] Gin
    Uh, why are you telling me this?
[08:11] Obi
    How 'bout it? Let's spar
    a little to show them
[08:13] ---
    what beam sabers are about!
[08:15] Gin
    Wait, I've never used a beam
    saber before and I don't want to.
[08:19] Obi
    How can you say that when you're
[08:21] ---
    going to be a founder of
    the School of Beam Saber?
[08:23] Gin
    What?
[08:24] Obi
    Don't play dumb. You and Otae-chan
    have this going on, right?
[08:28] Gin
    What's that supposed to mean?
[08:29] Gin
    I've never seen that gesture before!
[08:31] Gin
    And this guy's shooting
    beams out of his pinky?!
[08:33] Obi
    You know what I mean.
[08:34] Obi
    You've been sticking your
    beam inside Otae-chan's...
[08:40] Otae
    Please stop it, Obi-one-niisama.
[08:43] Otae
    We have no such relationship.
[08:44] Obi
    That's the Otae-chan I remember.
[08:46] Obi
    You've already mastered
    the art of the beam saber.
[08:48] Gin
    You mean she's mastered
    how to jam it in your ass!
[08:51] Shin
    No kidding. You're the one who
    doesn't understand, Hajime-nii.
[08:54] Shin
    Sis wouldn't want to
    hear her first love say...
[08:58] Gin
    Wait, so he's her first love?
[09:00] Gin
    He's her first love?
[09:01] Kag
    Seriously? That's what
    the boss lady likes?
[09:04] Otae
    Keep your mouth shut!
    Want me to slaughter you?!
[09:06] Kon
    Uh, excuse me.
[09:10] Both
    We want to join
[09:13] Both
    the School of Beam Saber!
[09:15] Gin
    As if we wanted these freaks!
[09:18] Kon
    If it's that awesome, Kyubei-kun,
    I'd love to try this, uh...
[09:22] Kyu
    What was it called,
    Kondo-kun? Beachy Diarrhea?
[09:26] Kon
    No, that's not it.
[09:27] Kon
    Wasn't it Beach Sandal, Kyubei-kun?
[09:30] Gin
    Wait, when did they become friends?!
[09:32] Gin
    The stalkers have teamed up
    because her first love is here!
[09:36] Kon
    But before we join, we'll
    need a demonstration
[09:39] ---
    to see how awesome this really is.
[09:40] Kyu
    That's right.
[09:42] ---
    Would you be willing
    to spar with us first?
[09:44] Obi
    Sure, I'd love to do that.
[09:46] Obi
    I can't wait!
[09:48] Obi
    It's been years since
    I fought a samurai!
[09:51] Gin
    They're not fighting like samurai!
[09:53] Both
    Die!
[09:55] Gin
    Way to blurt out your intent!
[10:08] Obi
    That's no good, you two.
[10:10] Obi
    If you fire those in the middle
    of town, people will die.
[10:13] Obi
    Huh? What about me?
[10:15] Obi
    I'm just fine.
[10:23] Obi
    Though, I'm only half human now.
[10:35] A
    Kenofi, Kenofi, come in, come in!
[10:39] A
    No good. He's not responding.
[10:41] A
    He's running solo again.
[10:43] A
    That guy is so much trouble.
[10:45] B
    Forget about him.
[10:46] B
    I believe that this
    planet is his homeland.
[10:49] B
    Let the man say his farewells.
[10:57] Obi
    Whew, we managed to recruit enough
    students to get started.
SIGN    Welcome New Students
    Tendo Mushin Beam Saber
[11:01] Obi
    Welcome to the School of
    Tendo Mushin Beam Saber!
[11:04] Obi
    Soz about what happened back there.
[11:08] Obi
    You guys were so strong that
    I couldn't hold myself back.
[11:13] Obi
    But this means that we have
    the seven strongest samurai
[11:15] ---
    to get this school started off.
[11:17] Obi
    We're going to make the School
    of Beam Saber the best there is!
[11:21] Obi
    Right, Instructor Sakata?
[11:23] Gin
    Sure, Instructor Obi-one.
[11:26] Gin
    I can't even be bothered
    to complain anymore.
[11:28] Obi
    Anyway, tonight we celebrate
    our new beginning!
[11:32] Shin
    Do you want beer, Hajime-nii?
[11:33] Obi
    Nah, give me some shochu with gasoline!
[11:36] Otae
    Please, Obi-one-niisama.
    You're such a joker.
[11:43] Kon
    Uh, excuse me, Instructor Obi-one.
[11:46] Kon
    I have a question.
[11:47] Obi
    What's up?
[11:48] Kon
    I now understand how
    amazing beam sabers are.
[11:51] Kon
    The thing is...
[11:53] Kon
    Even if we train under
    the School of Beam Saber,
[11:56] Kon
    I don't see how we can learn to do that.
[12:00] Obi
    Don't worry.
[12:02] Obi
    It's easy once you've learned the trick.
[12:04] Obi
    Right, Instructor Sakata?
[12:08] Gin
    Sure, you know how
    one day, you take the
[12:11] ---
    training wheels off your bike,
    and suddenly you can ride it?
[12:13] Gin
    It's just like that.
[12:14] Kon
    Wait, I'm positive that you can't
    do that stuff, Instructor Sakata!
[12:17] Kon
    You still need your training wheels!
[12:19] Kyu
    Honestly, I don't see how a
    human could ever pull that off.
[12:24] Kyu
    And that mechanical arm...
[12:27] Kyu
    You said that you were only half human.
[12:30] Kyu
    What did you mean by that?
[12:35] Obi
    You think there's something
    special about this arm?
[12:37] Obi
    This is just a mechanical arm to
    replace the one I lost in the accident.
[12:41] Gin
    That's not nice, Kyubei.
[12:43] Gin
    You shouldn't start accusing
    people because they beat you.
[12:45] Gin
    It takes strength to
    admit your weaknesses.
[12:48] Gin
    Now you have to write the word "jobber"
    a hundred times before tomorrow.
[12:52] Kyu
    And you have to write the
    word "moron" a hundred times.
[12:56] Gin
    How do you spell that?
[12:59] Kag
    Like this, Instructor!
SIGN    Gintoki
[13:01] Obi
    If you don't trust me,
    I'll show you my body.
[13:04] Obi
    I meant exactly what I said back there.
[13:08] Obi
    After wandering around the galaxy,
[13:10] ---
    half my body is no longer
    that of an Earthling.
[13:12] Obi
    The other half hasn't
    forgotten the spirit of Edo.
[13:20] Obi
    What do you think?
[13:23] Kon
    Don't you mean you're
    half Edo and half robot?!
[13:26] Obi
    That's what I said.
[13:28] Obi
    The beam saber didn't
    come from my right arm.
[13:31] Obi
    It came from the mechanical
    right side of my body.
[13:35] Kon
    What the hell?!
[13:36] Shin
    Huh?!
[13:37] Shin
    What's going on?!
[13:38] Shin
    What happened to your body, Hajime-nii?!
[13:41] Otae
    O-Obi-one-niisama...
[13:43] Obi
    What? You didn't realize
    that I was a cyborg?
[13:48] Obi
    Man, you guys don't pay attention!
[13:49] Obi
    Right, Instructor Sakata?
[13:51] Gin
    Huh? What?
SIGN    Gintoki Gintoki Gintoki
    Gintoki Gin
[13:52] Gin
    We're having hamburger
    steak tomorrow. Really?
[13:54] Kon
    Cyborg! This guy's piss drunk!
[13:57] Shin
    You're a cyborg, Hajime-nii?
[13:59] Obi
    Yeah. You see, when I was
    caught in the explosion,
[14:04] ---
    the right half of my body
    was mortally damaged.
[14:08] Obi
    I'm embarrassed to admit that, well...
[14:10] Obi
    I already died once.
[14:12] Shin
    Wh-What?!
[14:14] A
    We'll make him half that.
[14:14] Shin
    Y-You already died once?!
[14:15] B
    And half this.
[14:16] Shin
    Th-That means...
[14:18] Obi
    Luckily, the technology on the
    planet was advanced enough
[14:21] ---
    that they could revive me
    by mechanizing half my body.
[14:25] Obi
    I would become the strongest
    swordsman in the galaxy.
[14:30] Obi
    I returned from hell to achieve the
    dream that had once... died...
[14:37] Shin
    Hajime-nii!
[14:38] Kag
    Hey! Did he go back to hell already?!
[14:42] Shin
    Hajime-nii!
[14:43] Shin
    Pull it together!
[14:43] Shin
    What's wrong?!
[14:46] Obi
    Give me shochu with gasoline!
[14:49] Otae
    Oh, no, I thought he was joking.
[14:52] Otae
    I'll go buy some gasoline, so Shin-chan,
[14:53] Otae
    take him to the bedroom!
[14:54] Shin
    S-Sis!
[14:56] Kon
    Otae-san!
[15:06] Shin
    Gengai-san, how does he look?
[15:11] Gen
    Unfortunately, the problem
    isn't that he's out of gasoline.
[15:16] Gen
    Who fed him this junk?
[15:19] Gen
    This matter doesn't exist on Earth.
[15:22] Gen
    As far as I know, nothing like this has
    been discovered in the universe yet.
[15:26] Kag
    That's boss lady's...
[15:28] Otae
    He must have eaten something
    bad out in space.
[15:31] Otae
    Obi-one-niisama is such a slob.
[15:34] Gen
    Whatever. I got him to spit up the junk,
[15:38] Gen
    so give him some shochu with gasoline.
[15:41] Gen
    That's the only thing his body can take.
[15:44] Shin
    U-Uh, Gengai-san!
[15:46] Shin
    Is Hajime-nii...
[15:49] Gen
    His human heart has stopped beating.
[15:53] Gen
    All life-sustaining operations are
    performed by the right side of his body.
[15:57] Gen
    In other words, the machine
    is keeping him alive.
[16:09] Shin
    I thought he was finally back.
[16:13] Shin
    This is terrible.
[16:15] Shin
    He can't live without
    that machine... That's just...
[16:20] Otae
    Shin-chan...
[16:22] Otae
    No matter how much he changes,
[16:24] ---
    he'll still be the same person.
[16:26] Otae
    And you can't let him see
    that look on your face.
[16:32] Otae
    Have you forgotten the promise we made?
[16:37] Otae
    Geez, how many times
    do I have to tell you?!
[16:40] Otae
    Whether you're swinging your
    sword or doing anything else,
[16:42] ---
    you must maintain your form!
[16:44] Otae
    Pretend that there's a rod
    sticking through your body,
[16:48] Otae
    and you can only move by
    rotating around that rod!
[16:54] Shin
    I don't understand, Sis!
[16:56] Shin
    There's no rod in my body!
[17:00] Otae
    Geez, I told you to stop crying!
[17:03] Otae
    You're the son of a samurai, Shin-chan!
[17:05] Shin
    But...
[17:06] Otae
    Don't make excuses!
[17:08] A
    Those kids are at it again.
[17:10] Ken
    Hey! What are you doing?!
[17:12] A
    Crap, it's the master!
[17:15] Otae
    Father!
[17:16] Otae
    Help me talk some sense into him.
[17:18] Otae
    All Shin-chan does is cry,
    and he won't stop.
[17:21] Otae
    And everybody's laughing
    at how loud we are.
[17:23] ---
    It's embarrassing.
[17:24] Ken
    Both of you are too loud!
[17:34] Obi
    You siblings cry all the time.
[17:36] Obi
    Why's that? Are you getting paid?
[17:39] Obi
    I'll pay you more, then, so laugh!
[17:43] Otae
    Ha—
[17:44] Shin
    Hajime-nii...
[17:45] Obi
    Listen up, you two.
[17:47] Obi
    Tears are handy for washing away
    troubling and sad feelings.
[17:55] Obi
    But when you grow up, you'll learn
[17:58] Obi
    that there are things so sad, they
    can never be washed away by tears.
[18:03] Obi
    That there are painful memories
    that should never be washed away.
[18:09] Obi
    So people who are truly strong
    laugh when they want to cry.
[18:14] Obi
    They endure all of the pain and sorrow
[18:17] Obi
    while laughing with everybody else.
[18:21] Obi
    You can cry all you want right now.
[18:24] Obi
    But one day, you must become
    samurai strong enough not to cry.
[18:28] Otae
    Oh, so that's why you're
    always laughing.
[18:32] Shin
    I-I want to become strong like you!
[18:35] Obi
    Really?
[18:37] Obi
    Then stop practicing the sword for
     today, and start practicing laughing!
[18:46] Obi
    More, Otae-chan!
[18:49] Obi
    Not good enough, Shin-bo!
[18:51] Obi
    Like this!
[18:56] Ken
    All three of you are too loud!
[19:02] Obi
    Darn, crying won't make
    this pain go away.
[19:14] Otae
    No matter what's happened to him,
[19:16] ---
    we were able to see
    Obi-one-niisama again.
[19:21] Otae
    We were able to see his smile again.
[19:27] Otae
    Isn't that
[19:30] ---
    enough?
[19:34] Shin
    Sis...
[19:55] Hiji
    Where did you go?
[19:57] Hiji
    We've got trouble right now.
[20:00] Hiji
    Earth may come to an end.
[20:03] Kon
    Oh, I don't see a problem
[20:06] Kon
    since my life's already over.
[20:08] Kon
    My love has come to an end,
[20:09] Kon
    so everyone else's lives might as well end.
[20:12] Oki
    He clearly wants attention right now.
[20:15] Oki
    I sure as hell don't want
    to listen to him gripe.
[20:18] Hiji
    It'll just be a waste of time, so let's
    tell him what's up and get to work.
[20:22] Tojo
    Lady!
[20:24] Tojo
    Hey! Where have you been?!
[20:27] Tojo
    Edo is in big trouble!
[20:31] Tojo
    We've got big trouble here, too!
[20:34] Kyu
    I'm disgusted with myself.
[20:37] Kyu
    I was trying to kill someone
    that Tae-chan truly cared about.
[20:42] Kyu
    I'm tainted! I'm the one
    who deserves to be killed!
[20:45] Tojo
    Calm down, Lady!
[20:47] Tojo
    Turn on the TV first!
[20:48] Tojo
    The human race is about
    to be killed off!
[20:50] Kyu
    Don't touch me!
[20:53] Tojo
    Oh, she noticed.
SIGN    Machine Hall
[20:56] Gin
    Did you call me out here because
    there's some kind of problem?
[21:00] Gen
    Actually, I noticed something
    when I was checking his body.
[21:05] Gen
    I couldn't do anything
    about it, so I ignored it.
[21:10] Kon
    Planet Beam?
[21:11] Hiji
    They're known for developing
    interstellar wave beam cannons.
[21:14] Hiji
    Basically, no other planet
    could compete with them
[21:17] ---
    at making beam cannons,
[21:20] Hiji
    but a few days ago,
[21:22] ---
    Earth started a proposal to
    ban the manufacturing and
[21:25] ---
    exporting of beam cannons
    because of the danger,
[21:29] Hiji
    and the proposal seems likely to pass.
[21:32] Hiji
    Those guys see that as a
    big thorn in their side.
[21:35] Hiji
    These people claim to be terrorists,
[21:37] Hiji
    but I'm guessing that...
[21:39] Ana
    It appears that you Earthlings do not
[21:41] ---
    understand how beneficial
    lasers can be in daily life.
[21:46] Ana
    So we've sent a wonderful
    present to help you understand.
[21:52] Gin
    Huh? What did they just say?
[21:55] Gen
    The mechanical half of his
    body contains a time-triggered
[21:59] ---
    interstellar wave beam cannon.
[22:02] Gen
    Its targets are the
    planets of the Alliance.
[22:05] Gen
    If the cannon is fired, the rest of
    the galaxy will declare war on Earth.
SIGN    To Be Continued
SIGN    Big Announcement
[23:45] Gin
    We have a big announcement
    about the second movie.
SIGN    Gintama the Movie ---- In theaters on ----- !!
[23:49] Gin
    Next week, the scratched-out
    areas will be revealed.
[23:53] Gin
    Hey, dads. Don't try to
    spread butter on the screen.
[23:57] Gin
    That's not what this is for.
SIGN    Two Brothers
[24:01] Shin
    Next time: Two Brothers.
SIGN    Planet Beam is threatening Planet Earth,
SIGN    and Obi Hajime was their advance party!!
SIGN    The Shimura siblings are unsure about what to do,
SIGN    but Gintoki has made his choice.

263 - Two Brothers

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Two Brothers
[01:37] Ana
    You have 24 hours until
    the beam cannon fires.
[01:42] Ana
    If your decision comes too late,
[01:44] Ana
    tomorrow will be remembered
    in the history of space as
[01:48] Ana
    the day the star wars began,
    a day that will live in infamy.
[01:53] Ana
    And the first act of war will be to
    reduce Earth, the catalyst, to space dust.
[02:01] Ana
    It would be unwise to attempt to search
    this large planet for our present.
[02:08] Ana
    There is an emergency defense
    system built into it.
[02:12] Ana
    If you try anything funny,
    this planet will be destroyed
[02:15] ---
    before the beam cannon ever fires.
[02:18] Gin
    Did that guy come back
    to destroy his home?
[02:24] Gen
    As a planet, Beam and its population are
    basically one big weapons manufacturer.
[02:30] Gen
    But as a nation, they're too smart
    to butt into interstellar politics.
[02:34] Gen
    However, there's a group called the
    Firestarters who pulls strings to start wars.
[02:41] Gen
    The Galaxy Sword Master
    has made his name through
[02:44] ---
    his exploits in those wars.
[02:46] Gen
    But if he is, in truth, a fictitious hero
[02:49] ---
    whose purpose is to start those wars...
[02:53] Shin
    Hajime-nii!
[02:54] Shin
    Whew, you're awake!
[02:57] Shin
    Are you okay?
[03:02] Shin
    Hajime-nii...
[03:06] Obi
    Oh, Shin-bo.
[03:08] Obi
    As you can see, I'm doing fine!
[03:10] Obi
    Man, it's such a lovely morning!
[03:13] Obi
    Edo mornings are so beautiful.
[03:18] Obi
    How about it?
[03:19] ---
    Let's go for a jog like we used to.
[03:24] Shin
    Sure.
[03:26] Obi
    He probably doesn't realize
    that he's being used.
[03:32] Gin
    How do we stop the mechanical
    half of his body?
[03:38] Gin
    Spit it out.
[03:39] ---
    It's not something Shinpachi
    or Otae can handle.
[03:44] Hiji
    Okay, we will now chase down the
    interstellar wave beam cannon.
[03:49] Hiji
    Grab every person who looks suspicious.
[03:52] Oki
    Hijikata-san, what would
    be a suspicious person?
[03:57] Hiji
    Someone who looks like he
    might shoot out beams.
[03:58] Oki
    Hey, this guy's shooting
    idiot beams from his head.
[04:02] Oki
    Throw him in the slammer.
[04:03] Hiji
    Let me go!
[04:05] Hiji
    Want me to murder you guys?!
[04:06] Hiji
    Hey, Kondo-san! Say something!
[04:08] Hiji
    Hey, stop this!
[04:09] Kondo
    Someone who looks like he
    might shoot out beams...
[04:12] A
    This is the worst threat
    the nation has faced since
[04:15] ---
    the founding of the Tokugawa Bakufu!
[04:17] A
    The Yagyu must step up to
    score points with the Shogun!
[04:21] A
    Scratch that.
[04:22] A
    Step up to protect Edo!
[04:24] A
    More paper money!
[04:25] A
    Complete our celebrity blockade!
[04:28] A
    Hey, who included Takagi
    Boo with the celebrities?!
[04:32] B
    Didn't you say to use
    a Drifters blockade?
[04:34] A
    No, I said to use a celebrity
    blockade, Father!
[04:37] B
    Oh, then I should look
    for women who are easy.
[04:40] A
    No, that would be a **** blockade!
[04:41] Kyu
    Could it be...?
[04:45] Kag
    Hey, is this good enough?
[04:47] Kag
    I don't know since I've
    never done this before.
[04:50] Obi
    Temperature's perfect!
[04:51] Obi
    Thank you very hamnida!
[04:53] Obi
    Care to join me?!
[04:54] Kag
    Want me to kill you,
    Pervy Sword Master?!
[05:00] Obi
    A bath really hits the
    spot after some sparring.
[05:02] Obi
    Right, Shin-bo?
[05:05] Shin
    Are you trying to kill me?!
[05:09] Obi
    You need to scorch your delicate
    spots to make them squeaky clean!
[05:12] Shin
    What kind of gunk did you
    pick up out in space?!
[05:18] Gin
    Still, where is he hiding
    the beam cannon?
[05:23] Gin
    All I can see is a little pistol.
[05:29] Gen
    Listen to me, Gin-guy.
[05:31] Gen
    If you stab him with this blade I've
    rigged with a disruption device,
[05:35] ---
    it will delay the activation of
    the emergency defense system.
[05:39] Gen
    That will be your chance to destroy
[05:41] ---
    the mechanical half of his
    body and fully disable him.
[05:44] Gin
    What will happen to the
    human side of his body?
[05:47] Gen
    I already gave you an explanation.
[05:49] Gen
    That machine is keeping
    him alive right now.
[05:52] Gen
    If the machine is disabled, the human half
    of his body will go back to being dead.
[06:02] Otae
    What are you doing here?
[06:10] Otae
    Why are you carrying
    that weapon, Gin-san?
[06:16] Gin
    You know the answer.
[06:18] ---
    I'm here to cut down your first love.
[06:22] Otae
    You're not trying to hide it.
[06:26] Gin
    Half-assed lies don't work on women.
[06:30] Gin
    Your eyes are puffy.
[06:32] Gin
    That's what you get for eavesdropping.
[06:38] Obi
    You used to be so weak.
[06:40] Obi
    I could barely feel you
    scrubbing my back.
[06:43] Obi
    You've really grown up.
[06:45] Obi
    Though you haven't changed down there.
[06:48] Shin
    You're one to talk!
[06:51] Shin
    You're still out of my reach.
[06:54] Shin
    I'll never be able to catch up to you.
[06:57] Obi
    Shin-bo, you're already
    stronger than me.
[07:02] Obi
    All I got for leaving Earth
[07:06] ---
    was this beat-up body and the
    hollow title of Sword Master.
[07:15] Obi
    After returning to Edo and seeing
    you guys, I realized something.
[07:20] Obi
    If you can't find something
    close to protect,
[07:24] Obi
    you can wander the entire universe
[07:29] Obi
    and never achieve true strength.
[07:32] Obi
    I should have returned sooner to
    the country of the samurai.
[07:44] Shin
    Why does it sound like you've given up?
[07:49] Shin
    We can work together
    to find the answer.
[07:52] Shin
    We can work together to become strong.
[07:56] Shin
    So don't say that.
[08:00] Shin
    Our Hajime-nii would
    never look so defeated!
[08:11] Obi
    Shin-bo, so you know?
[08:16] Otae
    We understand.
[08:20] Otae
    So please, we won't ask
    you to wait until tomorrow,
[08:24] Otae
    but could you give us
    a little more time?
[08:27] Otae
    Please lower your sword,
[08:30] ---
    Gin-san.
[08:34] Shin
    I always wanted to introduce
    you and Gin-san to each other.
[08:40] Shin
    I always hoped that one day,
[08:42] ---
    the two of you would sit
    here next to each other
[08:46] ---
    while I washed your backs.
[08:49] Shin
    But now...
[08:51] Shin
    Why is it you?
[08:54] Shin
    Why did this have to happen?!
[09:00] Otae
    I beg you, Gin-san.
[09:03] Otae
    Just give us a little more time.
[09:06] Otae
    Let him
[09:09] Otae
    be Shin-chan's big brother
    a little longer.
[09:13] Obi
    I won't be able to restrain the
    other half of my body much longer.
[09:18] Obi
    I was prepared to end my own life,
[09:20] Obi
    but I came back to Edo
[09:24] Obi
    because I wanted to see you
    and Otae-chan one last time.
[09:30] Obi
    Soz about getting you
    into all this trouble.
[09:36] Obi
    But I'm glad I got to see this
    city of samurai one last time—
[09:47] Gin
    You're in my way.
[09:49] Gin
    Move it.
[09:51] Gin
    Why do you all have those
    looks on your faces?
[09:54] Gin
    Did you forget what the
    School of Beam Saber
[09:57] ---
    teaches about reacting
    in these situations?
[10:00] Gin
    Well, Instructor Obi-one?
[10:12] Shin
    Hajime-nii!
[10:15] Shin
    Stop it!
[10:16] Shin
    Gin-san!
[10:17] Shin
    Hajime-nii is still...
[10:18] Shin
    Still...
[10:19] Gin
    I told you, you're in my way!
[10:23] Kag
    Shinpachi!
[10:23] Otae
    Shin-chan!
[10:26] Gin
    Damn, he got away.
[10:30] Shin
    Please wait!
[10:32] Shin
    Why...
[10:33] Shin
    Why are you doing this?!
[10:35] Shin
    Why would you be so cruel?!
[10:38] Shin
    Hajime-nii knows everything!
[10:40] Shin
    He understands what's happening!
[10:42] Shin
    He's prepared to end his own life!
[10:46] Gin
    He can't do that.
[10:50] Gin
    It's not his body anymore.
[10:53] Gin
    You were washing a dead body
    with some junk attached.
[11:01] ---
    I dare you...
[11:03] Shin
    I dare you to repeat that.
[11:04] Otae
    Stop it, Shin-chan!
[11:07] Otae
    Please stop this, both of you!
[11:11] Gin
    Sorry, but I'm not interested
    in sitting around with
[11:15] ---
    a bunch of emotional saps,
    waiting for my death.
[11:19] Gin
    If you can't handle the job, I'll do it.
[11:23] Gin
    It's that simple.
[11:26] Shin
    Wait...
[11:29] Shin
    Wait.
[11:34] Shin
    I said to wait!
[11:36] Shin
    Are you deaf?!
[11:43] Otae
    Shin-chan!
[11:46] Shin
    How can two big brothers
    be so different?
[11:52] Gin
    Look at me.
[11:54] Gin
    Is this the face of a big brother?
[11:58] Shin
    True, your nose hairs are sticking out.
[12:02] Gin
    Oh, you're right.
[12:03] Otae
    Shin-chan!
[12:05] Otae
    Hang in there, Shin-chan!
[12:07] Otae
    Shin-chan!
[12:11] All
    Excuse us.
[12:15] Obi
    The emergency defense
    system hasn't activated.
[12:17] Obi
    That man must have done something.
[12:22] Obi
    Was he able to sense my
    intention to kill that boy?
[12:28] Yama
    Hey!
[12:30] Yama
    What are you doing up there?!
[12:35] Yama
    What the hell?!
[12:36] Yama
    He can shoot beams from his eyes!
[12:38] Yama
    After him!
[12:39] Yama
    Don't let him escape!
[12:44] A
    We can't find him.
[12:45] B
    Same here.
[12:47] Hiji
    You better find him before
    I finish smoking this.
[12:50] Hiji
    Shah that guy up before these curtain
    rings can "shah" the curtain shut.
[12:56] Both
    Or else it's seppuku time.
[12:58] Kag
    You middle management people are useless!
[13:01] Kag
    Get out of the way!
[13:02] Tojo
    I'll let you go if you
    tell us where he is.
[13:05] Kag
    That's what we want to know!
[13:08] Shin
    Can you cut it out?
[13:10] Otae
    Shin-chan...
[13:11] Shin
    Everyone's up in arms.
[13:13] Shin
    Are you so intent on
    destroying Hajime-nii?
[13:17] Shin
    In any case, this gives
    Kondo-san and Kyubei-san
[13:21] ---
    an excuse to rid themselves of their rival.
[13:26] Shin
    That's despicable.
[13:28] Shin
    You're all despicable!
[13:34] Hiji
    Not as despicable as your leader.
[13:39] Obi
    Come in, this is Kenofi.
[13:42] Obi
    There's been a problem.
[13:44] Obi
    I request assistance.
[13:45] Obi
    My current coordinates are...
[13:51] Tojo
    We weren't spurred into action
    by my lady or Kondo-dono.
[14:00] Tojo
    It was your leader.
[14:05] Obi
    This was a mistake on my part.
[14:06] Obi
    I didn't expect him to have
[14:09] ---
    such a dangerous man as
    his new brother figure.
[14:11] Gin
    Why are you all so obsessed
    with the brother thing?
[14:17] Gin
    Neither Shinpachi nor I am
    interested in being brothers!
[14:24] Shin
    Gin-san did?
[14:26] Oki
    Hijikata-san...
[14:29] Oki
    Looks like the news has gotten out.
[14:33] Hiji
    Sorry, but we can't let you pass.
[14:35] Hiji
    The Shinsengumi are on the job.
[14:37] Tojo
    Do not worry.
[14:38] ---
    We will search every nook
    and cranny of the building.
[14:41] Tojo
    You should go take a bath and
[14:42] ---
    wash every nook and cranny of your body.
[14:44] A
    Wh-Who are you people?
[14:45] Oki
    We aren't here to capture Obi-one.
[14:48] Oki
    We're holding off the
    cops who are on his tail
[14:51] Oki
    and making sure that you all are safe.
[14:54] Shin
    Wh-Why would you do that?
[14:56] Oki
    Because your leader got down
    on his knees and begged us to.
[15:06] Obi
    If you kill me, you will
    lose their trust forever.
[15:09] Obi
    Given that, why did you come here?
[15:12] Gin
    I'm not interested in
     battling to the death
[15:14] ---
    with a bunch of crying fools
     standing nearby!
[15:16] Gin
    This is much better!
[15:19] Obi
    Battling to the death?
[15:21] Obi
    Don't make me laugh.
[15:27] Obi
    You're unconsciously trying to
    avoid attacking my left side.
[15:32] Gin
    So this is the power of
    the Galaxy Sword Master?
[15:36] Gin
    Not very impressive.
[15:38] Gin
    That title's too flashy for you.
[15:42] Gin
    You should stick to
    being a big brother.
[15:45] Oki
    "I'll figure out a way to
    bring Obi-one back alive,
[15:48] Oki
    so could you stay put and
    not do anything until then?"
[15:54] Oki
    He planted his empty head
    right against the floor.
[16:00] Oki
    Want to see a picture?
[16:04] Shin
    Why did he do that?
[16:08] Shin
    Why did he ask you for help
[16:11] Shin
    when he didn't say a word to us?!
[16:13] Shin
    That idiot!
[16:15] Otae
    He wanted to keep us away
    from Obi-one-niisama.
[16:21] Gin
    Don't worry, Obi-one.
[16:24] Gin
    Nobody else will be joining us.
[16:28] Gin
    I won't let you get any
    more blood on your hands!
[16:32] Gin
    So
[16:34] ---
    come back, Obi-one!
[16:38] Gin
    Come back and be their big
    brother one more time!
[16:45] Otae
    He was the only one who hadn't given up
[16:49] Otae
    on saving Obi-one-niisama.
[16:54] Obi
    Do you seriously believe
    that he's still capable
[17:00] Obi
    of returning?!
[17:09] Obi
    Come in. This is Kenofi.
[17:12] Obi
    I need to be picked up immediately.
[17:14] Ana
    Kenofi?
[17:16] Ana
    Are you really Kenofi?
[17:18] Ana
    We've already locked on to your
    signal and begun the retrieval.
[17:24] Ana
    Kenofi, where are you right now?
[17:33] Ana
    I-Impossible!
[17:34] Ana
    What is the meaning of this?!
[17:46] Oki
    Man, it's not easy when we all
    work for a bunch of losers.
[17:51] Shin
    No way...
[17:53] Ana
    Wh-Who are you?!
[17:55] Ana
    Identify yourselves!
[17:56] Both
    From the School of Tendo
    Mushin Beam Saber!
[18:00] Kyu
    Yagyu Kyubei.
[18:02] Kondo
    And Kondo Isami.
[18:05] Kyu
    We've come here to
    reclaim the human half...
[18:10] Kondo
    ...of our instructor, Obi Hajime.
[18:14] Obi
    You were able to disrupt my
    transmitter with that strike?
[18:20] Obi
    You just came here to buy time
[18:22] Obi
    while your allies work to
    disable the beam cannon?
[18:27] Gin
    Like I said, nobody else
    will be joining us.
[18:34] Gin
    Will you leave that body first,
[18:38] Gin
    or will you get rid of me first?
[18:40] Gin
    It's a waiting game now.
[18:43] Obi
    Foolishness!
[18:47] Ana
    Damn those Earth apes!
[18:49] Ana
    They tricked us!
[18:51] Kon
    We clearly got the short
    end of the stick.
[18:54] Kon
    Stuck helping our rival in love.
[18:57] Kon
    A victory here won't win us anything.
[19:02] Kyu
    We've still got it better
    than that idiot
[19:05] Kyu
    since he had to beg for help.
[19:07] ---
    Plus he'll be losing his
    position as a brother figure.
[19:11] Kyu
    Besides, now I know
[19:15] Kyu
    the reason why Otae-chan was able to
[19:18] ---
    smile when times were tough or painful.
[19:21] Kyu
    Even if her smile isn't
    directed our way,
[19:24] Kyu
    I just want her to truly smile again.
[19:29] Kon
    I see. That means...
[19:33] Kon
    I should laugh with them.
[19:37] Obi
    So people who are truly strong
    laugh when they want to cry.
[19:43] Obi
    They endure all of the pain and sorrow
[19:46] Obi
    while laughing with everybody else.
[19:52] Obi
    But one day, you must become
    samurai strong enough not to cry.
[20:01] Yama
    Captain Okita, are you sure about this?
SIGN    Image has been deleted.
[20:04] Oki
    Sorry, big guy. I couldn't stop them.
[20:09] Oki
    We little brothers have our own pride.
[20:13] Tojo
    Well, let's get going.
[20:20] Hiji
    To our big brother's side.
[20:35] Ana
    It seems that you people are intent
    on keeping that man alive.
[20:40] Ana
    But you've been wasting your time.
[20:44] Kon
    What's that?
[20:45] Ana
    Nobody can stop him at this point.
[20:48] ---
    Not us, not him...
[20:51] Ana
    The emergency system
    will recover shortly.
[20:56] Ana
    When that happens, you
    Earthlings will be finished.
[21:00] Kyu
    Kondo...
[21:02] Kon
    Bullshit.
[21:03] Kon
    That's bullshit.
[21:05] Kon
    Then why...
[21:07] Kon
    Then why did he have
    to play the bad guy?!
[21:10] Kon
    Why did he have to get
    on his knees and beg?!
[21:16] Kon
    Can you give those two big brothers
    back to Shinpachi-kun?
[21:24] Obi
    It'll be thirty minutes
    before my system recovers.
[21:30] Obi
    There's only one way to stop the
    beam cannon before that happens.
[21:34] Obi
    You have to destroy me, Obi-one.
[21:40] Obi
    I'll be sending your little
    brother and this planet
[21:44] Obi
    to see you shortly.
[21:47] Obi
    You can wait in hell for them.
[21:58] Shin
    Did you call me his little brother?
[22:01] Shin
    You people throw the word
    brother around too much!
[22:06] Gin
    Neither Gin-san nor I am interested
    in being brothers, you fool!
SIGN    To Be Continued
[23:45] Gin
    We have a big announcement
    about the second movie.
[23:48] Gin
    Next week, the censored
    areas will be revealed.
SIGN    Gintama the Movie ---- In theaters on ---- ----th!
[23:52] Gin
    Hey, squinting won't help you.
[23:54] Gin
    If squinting helped, you'd have a lot of
    boys spending 1/3 of their time squinting.
SIGN    Liquor and Gasoline Smiles and Tears
[24:00] Otae
    Next time:
[24:01] Otae
    Liquor and Gasoline, Smiles and Tears.
SIGN    There's a huge atmosphere swing
SIGN    between the movie preview and the next episode preview.
SIGN    That's just business as usual
SIGN    in the Gintama anime.

264 - Liquor and Gasoline, Smiles and Tears

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Liquor and Gasoline, Smiles and Tears
[01:38] Shin
    You people throw the word
    brother around too much!
[01:42] Gin
    Neither Gin-san nor I am interested
    in being brothers, you fool!
[01:47] Gin
    Shinpa—
[01:54] Obi
    Why would you come here
[01:58] Obi
    when it's already too late?!
[02:09] Shin
    Gin-san!
[02:13] Shin
    Gin-san, hang in there!
[02:16] Gin
    Idiot...
[02:18] Gin
    Why did you come?
[02:21] Shin
    Yamazaki-san told me everything.
[02:24] Shin
    That you guys were here...
[02:27] Shin
    That he wouldn't be returning...
[02:31] Gin
    Don't say that.
[02:33] Gin
    Who went and decided that it was over?
[02:37] Gin
    Stay out of this.
[02:39] Gin
    Th-That guy will be back.
[02:43] Gin
    I swear I'll bring him back to you.
[02:48] Gin
    So can you wait just a little longer?
[02:54] Gin
    It won't take much longer.
[02:57] Gin
    Really.
[02:59] Gin
    Please. I promise, okay?
[03:08] Gin
    Damn...
[03:13] Gin
    Damn...
[03:18] Shin
    It's okay.
[03:21] Shin
    You've done enough.
[03:23] Shin
    So Gin-san, don't disappear on us.
[03:28] Shin
    Even if Hajime-nii returns
[03:31] Shin
    and Earth is saved,
[03:34] Shin
    we won't be smiling if
    you're not with us.
[03:38] Shin
    It's okay if you don't
    act like a big brother.
[03:41] Shin
    It's okay if you're the total
    opposite of a role model.
[03:44] Shin
    It's okay if you aren't
    showing us the way to go.
[03:49] Shin
    As long as you're with us
    when we've lost our way...
[03:53] Shin
    As long as you're by our side,
    sharing the pain and sorrow...
[03:58] Shin
    As long as everybody's by
    our side, we'll be smiling.
[04:02] Shin
    No matter how difficult it may be.
[04:05] Gin
    Shinpachi...
[04:08] Shin
    So can you let us take it from here?
[04:11] Shin
    Don't worry.
[04:12] Shin
    I'm no longer the crybaby
    little brother of Obi Hajime,
[04:16] Shin
    nor am I a student of the
    School of Beam Saber.
[04:19] Shin
    I am the successor of the
    School of Tendo Mushin
[04:21] Shin
    and Odd Jobs' Shimura Shinpachi.
[04:24] Gin
    Wait, Shin—
[04:26] Kag
    Gin-chan!
[04:27] Kag
    Hold on, Gin-chan!
[04:29] Shin
    Kagura-chan...
[04:32] Shin
    Take care of Gin-san for me.
[04:34] Gin
    Didn't you hear me tell you to wait?
[04:52] Obi
    Are you insane?
[04:54] Obi
    You want to fight a man who completely
    destroyed your big brother?
[04:59] Shin
    You seem to be mistaken.
[05:01] Shin
    Gin-san didn't come here to kill you.
[05:04] Shin
    He came to save you.
[05:05] Shin
    If Gin-san had come to kill you,
[05:08] Shin
    you wouldn't be standing
    before me right now.
[05:10] Shin
    But it doesn't matter now.
[05:12] Shin
    I'll get Hajime-nii back
    even if I have to kill you,
[05:16] Shin
    no matter how much
    pain it may cause me.
[05:20] Obi
    If you go through life with the blood
    of your benefactor on your hands,
[05:25] Obi
    you won't be the only one
    who suffers as a result.
[05:27] Otae
    I, Shimura Tae, will be the
    witness for this battle.
[05:34] Otae
    The School of Tendo Mushin
    and the School of Beam Saber
[05:37] ---
    in a no-holds-barred duel.
[05:39] Otae
    Fight as true warriors to the very end.
[05:42] Kag
    Boss lady...
[05:44] Otae
    Please watch us, Obi-one-niisama.
[05:48] Otae
    The crybaby who always
    followed you around
[05:52] Otae
    and all of us who always
    admired your strength
[05:56] Otae
    have become much stronger
[06:00] ---
    after meeting you and everyone else.
[06:03] Otae
    Strong enough to stop you.
[06:06] Otae
    Begin now!
[06:14] Shin
    Hajime-nii!
[06:25] Obi
    Come, Shin-bo!
[06:51] Obi
    I have seen the future of
    the School of Tendo Mushin.
[06:57] Obi
    You've become so strong,
    Shin-bo, Otae-chan...
[07:21] Otae
    Point.
[07:25] A
    We've lost contact with Kenofi?
[07:28] A
    Impossible, he's the
    Galaxy Sword Master.
[07:31] B
    Curses!
[07:32] ---
    Do you have any idea how much money
[07:34] ---
    we poured into making that thing?!
[07:36] B
    It was a mistake to rely on a native
    monkey to carry out this mission!
[07:41] B
    How dare he die before
    he could be of any use?!
[07:44] B
    No matter what you spend on it, junk is—
[07:46] Kon
    Shut up.
[07:47] Kon
    Keep that filthy mouth of yours shut.
[07:50] Kon
    He's not a piece of junk.
[07:52] Kon
    And he's not a weapon.
[07:54] Kon
    At long last, he's finally made it home.
[07:58] Kon
    The samurai is back in the
    country of the samurai.
[08:01] Kon
    No more will you toy with
    human lives and emotions!
[08:06] Kon
    We will make you pay!
[08:09] Kon
    Apprehend them!
[08:11] Kon
    What?!
[08:12] A
    Too bad for you, monkeys.
[08:16] Obi
    That was an excellent strike.
[08:19] Obi
    Shin-bo, you've come a long way.
[08:23] Obi
    I'm very happy.
[08:26] Shin
    You've always been a liar.
[08:27] Shin
    And that hasn't changed.
[08:30] Shin
    You always gave in to my persistence,
[08:33] Shin
    and let me win once while
    saying that I'd gotten stronger.
[08:37] Shin
    You were always joking around.
[08:41] Obi
    I was serious this time.
[08:44] Obi
    Your voices pierced through
    this cold metal body.
[08:48] Obi
    Your voice,
[08:51] ---
    Otae-chan's voice,
[08:53] ---
    Instructor Sakata's voice...
[08:57] Obi
    Your voices summoned my soul
    from this lump of metal.
[09:02] Obi
    Which is why I was able to beat
    my other half at the very end.
[09:09] Obi
    I couldn't match up to the rest of you,
[09:12] Obi
    but for a moment, I think I
    knew what true strength was.
[09:16] Obi
    I can finally come home
    without feeling ashamed.
[09:22] Obi
    Truly, thank you very hamnida.
[09:25] Kag
    You shouldn't leave, then.
[09:28] Kag
    Stay here forever.
[09:30] Kag
    We can all play with beam
    sabers together again.
[09:34] Kag
    I'll do a better job of preparing
    your bath this time.
[09:37] Kag
    So...
[09:39] Kag
    Don't talk like this is the end.
[09:42] Kag
    Don't leave Shinpachi and
    the boss lady alone.
[09:49] Obi
    Don't worry.
[09:51] Obi
    I just left something up in space.
[09:59] A
    Did you think that we wouldn't
    be prepared for such an event?
[10:02] A
    Even if Kenofi is disabled, the energy
    that's accumulated inside won't vanish.
[10:09] A
    At the moment, he's an unexploded bomb
    that can destroy an entire planet.
[10:14] A
    Do you know what will happen if
    we give him a little stimulation?
[10:18] Kon
    You bastard!
[10:22] Kon
    Huh?
[10:23] Kyu
    Don't touch me!
[10:32] Kon
    What?
[10:33] Hiji
    Are you guys okay?!
[10:36] Kon
    Toshi!
[10:37] Kon
    Stop them!
[10:38] Kon
    They're going to
[10:40] Kon
    discharge the energy in Obi Hajime
[10:42] Kon
    and obliterate Earth!
[10:45] Obi
    So once I've picked up
    what I left behind,
[10:50] Obi
    I'll come back.
[10:52] Obi
    In the meantime,
[10:54] Obi
    Instructor Sakata, look
    after everyone for me.
[11:08] Gin
    Let's go, guys.
[11:13] Gin
    Didn't you hear me?
[11:16] Gin
    You didn't forget the teachings of the
    School of Beam Saber again, did you?
[11:24] Otae
    It's okay.
[11:27] Otae
    Don't worry, Obi-one-niisama.
[11:31] Otae
    We won't cry anymore.
[11:36] Otae
    So just promise... Just promise us...
[11:41] Obi
    Yeah...
[11:44] Obi
    I promise that we'll meet again.
[11:49] Hiji
    Fire!
[11:50] Hiji
    Shoot that thing down!
[11:53] A
    It's too late!
[11:55] B
    Beam cannon energy fully charged!
[11:58] B
    We're locked onto Kenofi's coordinates!
[12:03] A
    What?! Impossible!
[12:05] A
    Kenofi has...
[12:12] B
    That man is pointing
    his beam cannon at us!
[12:16] A
    It means nothing! Open fire!
[12:22] Obi
    Listen up, you two.
[12:25] Obi
    Tears are handy for washing away
    troubling and sad feelings.
[12:34] Obi
    But when you grow up, you'll learn
[12:38] Obi
    that there are things so sad, they
    can never be washed away by tears.
[12:45] Obi
    That there are painful memories
    that should never be washed away.
[12:50] Obi
    So people who are truly strong
    laugh when they want to cry.
[12:57] Obi
    They endure all of the pain and sorrow
[13:01] Obi
    while laughing with everybody else.
[13:05] Obi
    You can cry all you want right now.
[13:10] Obi
    But one day, you must become
    samurai strong enough not to cry.
SIGN    Kabuki First District
[13:41] A
    Why don't you drop by, big guy?
SIGN    Snack Smile
[13:44] A
    We've got a bunch of cute girls!
[13:46] A
    How about it, gentlemen?
[13:48] Kon
    Is that true?
[13:50] Kon
    We can choose anyone we want?
[13:52] A
    Yup, you can choose anyone,
    and they're all babes.
[13:57] Kyu
    Really, then...
[14:00] Both
    We'll take the babe named Otae.
[14:02] A
    Oh, it's you guys again.
[14:05] A
    You keep coming back every day.
[14:07] A
    I told you that you're wasting your time.
[14:09] A
    We haven't heard anything from Otae-chan
[14:11] ---
    since she went on leave a month back,
[14:13] A
    and we have no idea
    when she's returning.
[14:16] A
    We're struggling right now after
    losing our top attraction,
[14:20] A
    so could you not disrupt our business?
[14:25] Kyu
    It's been a month already.
[14:28] Kon
    That man saved our planet,
[14:31] Kon
    but we weren't able to save anything.
[14:37] Kyu
    I heard that Shinpachi-kun hasn't
    been down to Odd Jobs since.
[14:41] Kyu
    This is when they really need
    other people by their sides,
[14:47] Kyu
    but the person they truly want
    by their sides is no longer here.
[14:53] Kyu
    If we go visit, we'll only
    put more stress on them.
[14:57] Kyu
    I don't believe I can make
    them smile right now.
[15:02] Kon
    All we can do now is
    wait and have faith
[15:06] Kon
    that the two of them
    will be able to overcome
[15:08] ---
    their sorrow and move forward.
[15:12] Kon
    Our job is to smile and welcome
    them back when the time comes.
[15:17] Kon
    For now, we wait.
[15:18] Kon
    But when the time comes...
[15:20] Kyu
    Yes, I'm sure they'll smile again.
[15:22] Shin
    Man, that was so much fun.
[15:25] Otae
    Yes, it's been so long since the two of us
[15:27] ---
    were able to have some fun together.
[15:29] Shin
    But I wanted to stay a little longer.
[15:31] Otae
    That was long enough.
[15:32] Otae
    We don't want to trouble
    everyone any longer.
[15:36] Shin
    Oh, it's Kondo-san and Kyubei-san.
[15:39] Shin
    Haven't seen you in a while.
[15:41] Shin
    The Shimura siblings
    are back from Waiiha!
[15:44] Otae
    Here, we brought chocolate covered
    macadamia nuts as a souvenir.
[15:48] Both
    Vacation?
[15:50] Otae
    Yes, we went to Planet Waiiha,
    where it's always summer.
[15:54] Shin
    You know, with all these new long arcs,
[15:56] ---
    we haven't had a chance to take a break.
[15:58] Shin
    So we decided to use the paid
    vacation days we've accumulated
[16:01] ---
    and take some time off together.
[16:04] Shin
    So, Planet Waiiha was awesome!
[16:06] Shin
    You're probably thinking that
    vacationing in Waiiha is too cliche.
[16:10] Shin
    But there's a reason it's considered cliche.
[16:13] Kon
    Ah, I understand what you mean.
[16:14] ---
    Waiiha is the best!
[16:15] Kon
    How am I supposed to understand?!
[16:16] Kon
    Why would you choose this
    timing to go on vacation?!
[16:19] Kon
    I thought that you were both
    moping around inside your house,
[16:23] Kon
    but you're completely tanned!
[16:24] Kon
    Dark as chocolate covered
    macadamia nuts!
[16:27] Kyu
    Can't you tell, Kondo?
    They're pushing themselves.
[16:31] Kyu
    This wasn't an ordinary vacation.
[16:32] Kyu
    They left Edo so we wouldn't
    have to see them suffer.
[16:37] Kyu
    And they're acting cheerful
    so we don't notice that fact.
[16:42] Kyu
    Don't say anything that'll
    dig the wound open again.
[16:45] Kon
    Well, I'm glad that you
    enjoyed yourselves.
[16:48] Kon
    But it must have cost
    a lot to go to Waiiha.
[16:52] Kon
    You must have had a lot saved up.
[16:53] Otae
    Oh, we paid for it with money
[16:55] ---
    we received from Obi-one-niisama's
    life insurance.
[16:57] Kon
    What wound? They dug up a
    whole new grave on their own!
[17:01] Kon
    I can see him! I can see
    Obi-one-niisama rolling in the grave!
[17:03] Otae
    Obi-one-niisama made arrangements for
[17:06] ---
    the money to be given to this
    dojo if anything happened to him,
[17:09] Otae
    so the money was meant
    to be used for the dojo.
[17:12] Kon
    Really? So you went on vacation?
[17:14] Otae
    That's why...
[17:14] Kon
    You used that money to go on vacation?
[17:16] Otae
    We were happy to use it
[17:18] Otae
    for macadamia nuts.
[17:20] Kon
    You used the money for macadamia nuts?!
[17:22] Kon
    Wait!
[17:23] Kon
    You spent the money from
    his life on nuts?!
[17:25] Otae
    It wasn't much money.
[17:27] Kon
    He's gotta be mad!
[17:28] Kon
    He's going to shoot
    beams down from heaven!
[17:30] Kon
    Wait, Kyubei-kun!
[17:32] Kon
    These siblings are a lot
    stronger than I expected!
[17:34] Kon
    They've overcome their brother's death
    and started trampling all over it!
[17:37] Kyu
    You must understand, Kondo.
[17:39] Kyu
    They're trying to say goodbye
    to their memory of Obi Hajime.
[17:42] Kyu
    So they exchanged his life for
    chocolate covered macadamia nuts
[17:45] Kyu
    so the memories will
    melt like chocolate.
[17:48] Kon
    No, that can't be it.
[17:51] Kyu
    Don't you understand, Kondo?
[17:52] Kyu
    Macadamia nuts are really good.
[17:55] Kon
    You just want to eat macadamia nuts!
[17:57] Otae
    Please help yourself, Kondo-san.
[18:00] Otae
    Please enjoy the fruits of the legacy
    left behind by Obi-one-niisama's life.
[18:04] Kon
    I can't eat that!
[18:06] Kon
    I've never eaten chocolate
    that was so meaningful!
[18:09] Shin
    Hajime-nii...
[18:11] Shin
    We won't let your wishes go to waste.
[18:15] Shin
    We will restore this dojo
[18:17] Shin
    and make it as busy as it
    was when you were here
[18:22] Shin
    with these macadamia nuts.
[18:23] Kon
    Uh, I'm pretty sure
    you wasted the money!
[18:25] Kon
    Why would you need macadamia nuts?!
[18:28] A
    Hello!
[18:30] Otae
    Look, Shin-chan.
[18:31] Otae
    They're here already.
[18:33] B
    Excuse me.
[18:34] B
    Is this the dojo that's
    looking for students?
[18:38] Shin
    We've been expecting you!
[18:40] Shin
    Welcome to Kodokan!
[18:43] Mada
    Is it true that you'll give us
    macadamia nuts if we train in the sword?
[18:46] Kon
    You're just using the nuts as bait!
[18:49] Kon
    Shinpachi-kun! They're not
    looking for a home dojo!
[18:51] Kon
    They're just plain homeless!
[18:53] Kon
    And what happened to your tan?!
[18:54] Shin
    It's okay.
[18:56] Shin
    We can start with macadamia nuts
[18:57] ---
    and hope they learn to love the sword.
[19:00] Shin
    If that's what it takes to
    protect the sword he loved...
[19:04] ---
    To protect this samurai country...
[19:08] Mada
    Hey, who cares about swords?
[19:10] Mada
    Give us the macadamia nuts already!
[19:12] Kon
    You should be looking for work
    instead of begging for nuts.
[19:14] Gin
    Shut up!
[19:16] Gin
    Don't be in such a rush.
[19:17] Gin
    No need to worry.
[19:19] Gin
    You'll get all the nuts you want,
[19:22] Gin
    if you can land a clean hit on Sakata
    Gintoki, substitute instructor
[19:26] ---
    for the School of Tendo
    Mushin Macadamia.
[19:30] Kon
    You guys...
[19:32] Gin
    I promise you this.
[19:34] Gin
    By the time you get to eat your nuts,
[19:37] ---
    you'll all be functional
    members of society again.
[19:40] Kon
    Wait, this is turning into
    a different kind of school!
[19:42] Gin
    So promise me something.
[19:45] Gin
    No matter how difficult the training may be
[19:48] Gin
    or what kinds of hardships you face in life,
[19:52] Gin
    never stop smiling.
[19:56] Gin
    That's the one and only rule in
[19:58] ---
    the School of Tendo Mushin Macadamia.
SIGN    Eternal Instructor
    Obi Hajime
[20:01] Gin
    Isn't that right,
[20:03] ---
    Instructor Obi-one?
[20:11] Mada
    That's fine!
[20:12] Mada
    Gang up on him!
[20:14] All
    Give us the macadamia nuts!
[20:20] Kag
    Okay, next!
[20:21] Mada
    Hold on!
[20:22] Mada
    What happened to the swords?! This
    is turning into a kung fu dojo!
[20:25] Mada
    Is this a dojo where we get beat
    up in return for macadamia nuts?!
[20:29] Kag
    Stop worrying about the
    details and just smile!
[20:32] Mada
    How can I do that?!
[20:36] Kyu
    Kondo, do you understand?
[20:43] Kon
    I sure do.
[20:49] Kon
    Hey, they won't help you
    become decent samurai.
[20:53] Kon
    I'll take you on!
[20:55] Kon
    Bring it!
[20:57] Kyu
    Nonsense.
[20:58] Kyu
    The macadamia nuts will be mine!
[21:00] Kon
    That's not the point here!
[21:05] Gin
    Well, let's get going,
[21:11] Gin
    Shinpachi.
[21:11] Obi
    Shin-bo.
[21:17] Shin
    Yes!
[21:22] Otae
    Obi-one-niisama, I'm sorry.
[21:25] Otae
    We can't use the money that
    you left for our dojo.
[21:30] Otae
    There hasn't been time for a
    proper burial, but I promise to
[21:33] ---
    put you in a grave next to our father.
[21:36] Otae
    So don't worry about us.
[21:40] Otae
    The two of you can enjoy your
    liquor and gasoline together.
[21:46] Otae
    It's okay.
[21:48] Otae
    Shin-chan and I
[21:50] Otae
    and our wonderful friends
[21:55] Otae
    are doing just fine.
SIGN    Announcement
[23:31] Mada
    Three years after Benizakura
    Arc the New Translation,
[23:35] Mada
    we now have a completely original
    story by the author Sorachi Hideaki,
[23:40] Mada
    which delves into the past.
[23:46] Mada
    Gintama the Movie: The Final Act!
[23:48] Mada
    Odd Jobs Forever!
[23:51] Both
    Watch as the Gintama
    anime comes to an end!
SIGN    In theaters July 6th
[23:55] Shin
    Wait, what's this about?!
[23:56] Gin
    Hold on a sec!
[23:56] Kag
    Where did they get that idea?!
[23:57] Gin
    What's this Final Act business?!
[23:58] Shin
    What? The manga isn't over yet!
[23:58] Kag
    Is this just the usual
    fooling around again?!
[23:59] Gin
    Gin-san and the Yaksha know nothing!
SIGN    Dog Food Doesn't Taste Like You Think
[24:00] Gin
    Next time: Dog Food Doesn't
    Taste Like You Think
[24:04] Gin
    Nobody said anything to me about this!
SIGN    Gintama as usual. Odd Jobs as usual.
[24:06] Gin
    Hey, can you hear me?!
[24:08] Gin
    Hey, Fujita!
[24:09] Gin
    Hey, Shinji!
SIGN    The trio plus one animal, forever...
[24:10] Gin
    Hey...
[24:12] Gin
    Are you listening to me?!

265 - Dog Food Doesn't Have As Much Flavor As You'd Think

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Dog Food Doesn't Have As Much Flavor As You'd Think
[01:41] Gin
    What's that look for?
[01:43] Gin
    Got a problem?
[01:45] Gin
    If it's not enough, eat the meatballs
    on the bottoms of your feet.
SIGN    meatball (paw pads)
SIGN    Sorry, Sadaharu.
[01:49] Kag
    You'll have to make do with this today.
[01:51] Kag
    Odd Jobs is going through
    a food shortage right now.
[01:54] Kag
    We're all starving.
[01:58] Kag
    That's a good boy.
[02:00] Kag
    Gin-chan, Sadaharu understands.
[02:02] Gin
    Good.
[02:03] Gin
    Then the three of us can split this.
[02:07] Both
    Thanks.
[02:10] Shin
    What the hell?!
[02:12] Shin
    Don't you have any human dignity?!
[02:15] Shin
    You shouldn't steal food from your
    pet, no matter how hungry you are!
[02:17] Shin
    You should be ashamed!
[02:19] Gin
    Can you blame us?
[02:20] Gin
    It's been ages since
    we last had a client,
[02:22] Gin
    so we don't have a single
    grain of rice left.
[02:26] Gin
    The situation's so grim
[02:27] ---
    that we may go from eating dog
    food to eating the dog for food.
[02:30] Shin
    Eating the dog for food?!
[02:31] Shin
    You're moving from pissing off the
    PTA to pissing off PETA now?!
[02:35] Gin
    What's that about PETA?
[02:37] Gin
    Does the PTA eat PETA?
[02:39] Kag
    The PTA only eats up
    teachers with an attitude.
[02:42] Shin
    That's completely different!
[02:44] Gin
    Quit your bitching.
[02:45] Gin
    Whose fault do you think this is?
[02:49] Gin
    It's because of this large animal
    that eats a lot and never works,
[02:53] Gin
    and the glasses boy who just
    wears glasses and never works.
[02:57] Shin
    Hey! You've crossed the line now!
[02:59] Shin
    Apologize! Apologize to my glasses!
[03:01] Gin
    Seriously, you should
    try to understand
[03:04] ---
    how hard it is for me to
    take care of you all.
[03:07] Gin
    Hey, you're sporting some
    yummy-looking wings.
[03:10] Shin
    They're not wings!
    They're greasy glasses!
[03:13] Shin
    And they're not greasy!
[03:14] Kag
    You're wearing shellfish to be fashionable?!
[03:17] Kag
    Are you supposed to be Takeda Kumiko?!
[03:18] Shin
    Wait!
[03:19] Shin
    These people are so hungry
    that they're hallucinating!
[03:22] Kag
    Hand that over!
[03:23] Shin
    Hey, what are you doing?!
[03:25] Shin
    Those are my glasses!
[03:26] Shin
    You can't eat them!
[03:27] Shin
    Hey!
[03:28] Shin
    Why are you grilling them?!
[03:31] Gin
    You should try to understand how hard
    it is for me to take care of you all.
SIGN    Please take me home.
[05:08] Gin
    Enough already!
[05:10] Gin
    Egg on rice again?!
[05:12] Gin
    Why do you waste food like this?!
[05:15] Kag
    What food? The fridge was empty.
[05:18] Gin
    Your head is empty!
[05:20] Kag
    Sadaharu puts up with the meager
    servings of cheap food we give him.
[05:24] Kag
    Shut up and eat.
[05:26] Gin
    Ah, is that so?
[05:27] Gin
    Here you go then.
[05:28] Kag
    Gin-chan! Sadaharu isn't
    your garbage disposal!
[05:31] Kag
    And there's no food left
    if you refuse to eat that.
[05:34] Gin
    Sorry, but unlike the rest
    of you, I'm a gourmet.
[05:38] Gin
    You animals can have your pet food.
[06:18] A
    I-It's so cute!
[06:21] A
    What is this?!
[06:22] A
    Where did you find it, Captain Okita?!
[06:25] Kon
    Hold on, Sogo...
[06:26] Kon
    Isn't that the Odd Jobs dog?
[06:29] Oki
    I don't know if he was
    dumped or if he ran away,
[06:31] ---
    but he was urinating in the streets.
[06:32] Kon
    Uh, so why did you bring him here?
[06:35] Oki
    Oh, you remember how we screwed up
[06:37] ---
    the last time we tried to boost
    our image with a mascot?
[06:39] Oki
    We should give it another try.
[06:41] Oki
    We can make some money by dumping him
[06:44] ---
    and Hijikata-san at the South Pole
[06:46] Oki
    and making the one who
    returns alive our mascot.
[06:47] Hiji
    That wouldn't be a mascot!
    It'd be a scum-cot!
[06:51] Hiji
    Give me a break.
[06:52] Hiji
    We don't need any symbols
    of weakness like mascots.
[06:56] Hiji
    Besides, we already have a
    mascot in Kondo-san, you fool.
[06:59] B
    He's no mascot! He's a shit-cot!
[07:01] Kon
    Who was that?! Who
    called me Ridley Scott?!
[07:04] Kon
    Thank you!
[07:04] Hiji
    Nobody had anything
    nice to say about you.
[07:06] Hiji
    And why do we have to take
    in their used goods?
[07:10] Hiji
    He'll interfere with our work.
[07:11] Hiji
    Get rid of him.
[07:12] A
    Vice-Chief, are you telling us to
    throw out this adorable creature?!
[07:15] Hiji
    Adorable, my ass.
[07:17] ---
    I'll have you all commit seppuku
    for failing as warriors.
[07:19] A
    Then you throw it out!
[07:20] Hiji
    Fine, you fools.
[07:30] Hiji
    Kondo-san...
[07:31] Hiji
    I just remembered that we
    don't have any police dogs.
[07:33] A
    You commit seppuku!
[07:34] Hiji
    Shut up!
[07:35] Hiji
    I'm just saying that
    we need police dogs!
[07:37] Hiji
    There's nothing adorable
    about this furball!
[07:40] Hiji
    First, we'll run some tests to
    see if it's qualified enough!
[07:43] Hiji
    And I won't go easy on dogs, dammit!
[07:46] Hiji
    Listen up! Police dogs
    depend on their noses.
[07:49] Hiji
    They need to be able to sniff out
    suspects, drugs, and all kinds of stuff.
[07:54] Hiji
    So here's a test.
[07:55] Hiji
    Half-fat, quarter-fat,
    non-cholesterol, non-oil, mustard.
[08:00] Hiji
    Can you tell the difference?
[08:01] A
    They're all mayonnaise!
[08:04] A
    Hey, what are you planning on
    using these police dogs for?!
[08:05] A
    What kind of crime are
    you preparing for?!
[08:07] Hiji
    First, identify my favorite type.
[08:09] A
    Uh, nobody knows what you
    like! And nobody cares!
[08:12] Hiji
    Ah, the quarter-fat?
[08:14] Hiji
    An excellent choice.
[08:16] Hiji
    But right now, I'm in the
    mood for some non-oil.
[08:18] A
    Your preference changes?!
[08:20] Hiji
    But I like your taste.
[08:22] Hiji
    Here's your reward.
[08:24] Hiji
    Enjoy.
[08:24] A
    You just wanted to feed
    the dog mayonnaise!
[08:27] Hiji
    Don't be shy.
[08:29] Hiji
    Hurry up and eat.
[08:31] Hiji
    Hurry up.
[08:38] Sa
    Yes, there, there.
[08:40] Sa
    Honestly, I don't know what happened,
[08:43] Sa
    but you should probably make up soon.
[08:46] Sa
    I know.
[08:47] Sa
    Gin-san isn't the kind of person
    who would kick you out.
[08:51] Sa
    You probably left because he
    was being nasty as usual.
[08:56] Sa
    Unfortunately, I won't be
    able to keep you here.
[09:00] Sa
    You already have a home, after all.
[09:04] Sa
    But if you plan on making up soon,
    you can stay here until then.
[09:09] Sa
    I can't let Gin-san's precious
    pet die on the streets.
[09:17] Sa
    Stop, that tickles.
[09:19] Sa
    I envy you.
[09:21] Sa
    Do you do this with
    Gin-san all the time?
[09:23] Sa
    I wish I could have been
    born as Gin-san's pet.
[09:27] Sa
    Just kidding.
[09:29] Sa
    I'll go make something to eat.
[09:31] Sa
    You must be hungry.
[09:32] Sa
    Wait here.
[09:40] Sa
    The moment I've been waiting
    for has finally come!
[09:45] Sa
    This is my chance to
    become Gin-san's pet!
[09:48] Sa
    His white fur will be my wedding dress!
[09:53] Sa
    Hold on, Gin-san.
[09:54] Sa
    Your cute pet will be coming
    back to you soon.
[10:05] Zura
    Ah, I see.
[10:07] Zura
    It must have been difficult
    to have such a lazy owner.
[10:10] Zura
    But Sadaharu, I knew that
    you would wake up one day.
[10:14] Zura
    The spirit of the Joi burns within you.
[10:17] Zura
    I knew that it would guide
    you to your true leader.
[10:20] Zura
    That you would find me.
[10:22] Zura
    And that is why
[10:24] Zura
    I've been waiting here since
[10:26] ---
    that game of Kick the Can
    two months ago.
[10:28] Zura
    You can't have an episode about
    Master Shoyo without me.
[10:33] Zura
    I managed to adjust my
    schedule so I could squeeze in,
[10:36] Zura
    but I didn't expect this to take so long.
[10:39] Zura
    I'm an expert at hiding,
[10:41] Zura
    but it's been so long
[10:42] ---
    that I had to wonder if
    the game was already over.
[10:45] Zura
    If anyone had even noticed
    that I was playing...
[10:49] Zura
    I felt like crying for a moment.
[10:51] Zura
    Runaway Kotaro tried a
    little too hard there.
[10:55] Zura
    I caused everyone so much trouble.
[10:57] Zura
    Well, everyone's probably been
    worried and looking for me.
[11:00] Zura
    I should probably head back.
[11:05] Zura
    Crap...
[11:06] Zura
    After staying in this position for two
    months, my body is stiff as a rock!
[11:09] Zura
    Zabeth, call for a doctor!
[11:12] Zura
    How could this happen?
[11:14] Zura
    I don't think I can last long
    enough for sensei to arrive.
[11:16] Zura
    S-Sadaharu-kun...
[11:17] Zura
    I apologize.
[11:19] Zura
    I won't be able to keep my promise
    to become your owner.
[11:22] Zura
    And can you please relay a
    message when the doctor comes?
[11:25] Zura
    Tell him to charge any taxi or
    any other transportation costs
[11:30] Zura
    to sensei.
SIGN    Please take me home.
[12:02] Shin
    Did you see him around here?
[12:03] A
    Yeah, it was a really big dog,
    so it must have been him.
[12:06] A
    He was dragging a little puppy around.
[12:10] Kag
    Sadaharu...
[12:13] Kag
    Sadaharu, where are you?!
[12:16] Kag
    Say something if you're there!
[12:18] Kag
    Please come back!
[12:20] Kag
    Sadaharu!
[12:39] Shin
    What? Work?
[12:41] Gin
    Yeah, we finally have a client.
[12:43] Gin
    No more eating dog food.
[12:46] Shin
    Weren't you supposed to
    be looking for Sadaharu
[12:48] Shin
    instead of wasting time?
[12:50] Gin
    Wasting time? Want me to punch you?
[12:53] Shin
    Aren't you worried about him, Gin-san?
[12:55] Shin
    Sadaharu hasn't been home in two days.
[12:59] Shin
    He was starving when he left,
[13:01] Shin
    and we don't know if he's
    gotten anything to eat
[13:02] Shin
    Sadaharu!
[13:03] ---
    or if something's happened to him.
[13:05] Shin
    How can you expect us to work?
[13:05] Shin
    Come back, Sadaharu!
[13:08] Gin
    That's not good, Shinpachi-kun.
[13:09] Gin
    You're thinking like a NEET now.
[13:13] Gin
    Nothing's happened to him.
[13:15] Shin
    Huh?
[13:15] Gin
    He left because he
    couldn't get any food.
[13:19] Gin
    It's that simple.
[13:22] Gin
    An animal doesn't understand
    the concept of family.
[13:26] Gin
    Besides...
[13:28] Gin
    I'm not interested in keeping
    anyone around who isn't
[13:30] ---
    willing to share when times are tough.
[13:32] Gin
    Even if he's just an animal.
[13:34] Gin
    There you go.
[13:35] Gin
    If you like dog food, you can eat
    it for the rest of your life.
[13:38] Gin
    I'll go make some money and
    have a chocolate parfait.
[13:41] Shin
    W-Wait, Gin-san!
[13:44] Shin
    Gin-san!
SIGN    Edo Animal Hospital
[13:48] A
    It's a mononoke!
[13:49] A
    The dog god Moro has come
    to hunt down our patients!
[13:53] B
    Scram, mountain dog!
[13:54] B
    This is where humans live!
[13:56] B
    Mononoke should go back
    to the mountains!
[14:02] A
    It released something!
[14:04] B
    Be careful!
[14:04] B
    You'll die if you touch that stuff!
[14:21] Kag
    Sadaharu!
SIGN    1 Fourth St.
SIGN    1 Fourth St.
[14:46] Gin
    So the owner of this house is dead?
[14:49] B
    Yes, he died all alone.
[14:53] B
    He kept a lot of dogs, and there were
[14:55] B
    many complaints from the neighbors
    about the smell and noise.
[14:59] B
    There was a relative who liked
    dogs and visited occasionally,
[15:03] B
    but it appears that they grew distant.
[15:06] C
    And the number of dogs was declining.
[15:08] ---
    There was only one left when he died.
[15:12] C
    When the neighborhood association
    cleaned his place,
[15:13] ---
    she didn't know what to do
    with it, so she threw it out.
[15:16] D
    W-Well, it was a mutt, sick and
    frail, so nobody wanted it.
[15:22] C
    There have been rumors that
    he's been wandering around.
[15:26] C
    We've been receiving complaints
    from various pet owners.
[15:29] C
    They're worried it may
    get their pets sick.
[15:32] B
    So could you catch it and
    dispose of it for us?
[15:37] Gin
    Is that even necessary? It probably
    died already if it was sick.
[15:41] B
    I hope so, but if we wait for it to
    become a problem, it'll be too late.
[15:45] B
    If it's dying anyway, does it matter
    if it happens a little sooner?
[15:48] C
    Honestly...
[15:49] C
    That old man left us a
    big mess to clean up.
[15:55] A
    What's this huge dog?!
[15:59] Gin
    Hey, hey.
[16:01] Gin
    This stray's bigger than I was expecting.
[16:04] Gin
    It'll take some effort to dispose of it.
[16:07] Gin
    You know the puppy they're
    talking about, right?
[16:10] Gin
    If you turn it over,
    I'll let you come home.
[16:13] Gin
    The reward will buy us plenty of
    food, so everyone will be happy.
[16:17] Gin
    Do you see a problem?
[16:22] C
    Wait up!
[16:23] B
    Odd Jobs, catch that monster!
[16:27] B
    Why are you standing there?
    Hurry up already!
[16:35] Gin
    If you turn it over,
    I'll let you come home.
[17:02] Gin
    Then the three of us can split this.
[18:56] B
    It stinks!
[18:57] D
    What's going on?!
[18:58] D
    Who would do such a thing?!
[19:00] C
    So many fish...
[19:04] Gin
    It was our dog.
[19:06] Gin
    It looked like he was taking
    care of that puppy,
[19:09] Gin
    so I tampered with the
    food he was bringing it.
[19:13] Gin
    Look. See this?
[19:16] Gin
    My dog is very bright.
[19:18] Gin
    He fed the puppy poisoned
    food to do my job for me.
[19:26] Gin
    So can you pay up now?
[19:34] Gin
    Yo, you awake?
SIGN    General Animal Hospital
[19:37] Gin
    You were suffering from malnutrition.
[19:39] Gin
    They told me I shouldn't have
    a pet if I can't feed it.
[19:44] Gin
    Although you're the one who
    ran off and starved yourself.
[19:48] Gin
    But you helped deal
    with the puppy for me.
[19:54] Gin
    You can eat all you want today.
[20:00] Gin
    What?
[20:01] Gin
    I thought you might understand
    how it feels to be an owner
[20:04] ---
    after taking care of that puppy.
[20:06] Gin
    Were you hoping for fish tails?
[20:08] Gin
    Or is the portion too small,
    considering the reward?
[20:14] Gin
    Don't blame me.
[20:15] Gin
    There were a lot of expenses
    associated with this job,
[20:18] Gin
    so I used up most of
    the money we received.
[20:21] Gin
    Besides, the Sakata family always
    shares when times are tough.
[20:27] Gin
    We share the food
[20:31] Gin
    and the pain.
[20:37] Gin
    Thanks for sharing.
[20:43] A
    Thank you so much!
[20:45] A
    You kept Grandpa's dog safe.
[20:47] Shin
    Well, you should thank
    the big dog inside.
[20:57] Doc
    Hold on!
[20:58] Doc
    You haven't paid for all the
    medicine you fed the puppy!
[21:02] Doc
    Hey!
[21:04] Doc
    Sakata-san! Wait!
[23:36] Shin
    Hold on a sec!
[23:37] Shin
    What's this Final Act business?!
[23:39] Shin
    This is news to me!
[23:40] Kag
    Well, they're probably just fooling
    around again with a fake!
[23:44] Gin
    Or they're pretending that it's fake.
[23:45] Kag
    Or it is fake.
[23:46] Gin
    That's what they want you to think.
[23:47] Kag
    But it's really fake.
[23:48] Shin
    You're not making any sense at all!
SIGN    We only lasted half a year this time,
SIGN    but thank you for all the support.
SIGN    The movie is coming up in July,
SIGN    so please continue to support Gintama!!
[23:59] ---
    See you sometime...