Season 2
- E202 - Everyone Looks a Little Grown Up After Spring Break
- E203 - [Wartirine / Warti / Wartise]
- E204 - Use a Calligraphy Pen for New Year's Cards/The heart comes before chocolate
- E205 - Meals Should Be Balanced
- E206 - It's Too Confusing When Talking About the Poster Girl for a Poster Store, So Call Her a Sandwich Board
- E207 - Glasses are part of the soul
- E208 - Glasses Prevent You From Seeing Certain Things
- E209 - Nothing lasts forever, etc.
- E210 - A Lawless Town Tends to Attract a Bunch of Whoohooey Folk
- E211 - Ghosts Aren't the Only Ones Who Run Wild Around Graveyards
- E212 - Chains of a Warrior
- E213 - Iron Town
- E214 - 'Tis An Honor!
- E215 - Odds or Evens
- E216 - I Can't Remember a Damn Thing About the Factory Tour
- E217 - What Happens Twice Can Happen Thrice
- E218 - The Claws of a Crab Can Snip Through a Friendship
- E219 - People Forget to Return Stuff All the Time Without Even Realizing It
- E220 - The Bathhouse, Where You're Naked in Body and Soul
- E221 - Jugem
- E222 - "The name reveals the person"
- E223 - "The man's household situation is hard, his heart is soft."
- E224 - "Blue and Red Ecstasy"
- E225 - So in the second season of Prison Break, they're already broken out of prison, but the name works once you realize that society is a prison
- E226 - "Everybody loves pajamas"
- E227 - Speaking of crossovers, don't forget about Alien vs. Predator
- E228 - "Love is neither plus nor minus"
- E229 - Making It Through Love
- E230 - It would take too much effort to make this title sound like a text message subject
- E231 - When you go to a funeral for the first time, you're surprised by how happy the people are
- E232 - The people you tend to forget tend to show up after you forget them
- E233 - Space Ururun Homestay
- E234 - Piggy banks and trash cans
- E235 - Empty planet
- E236 - Don't say good-bye Lionel
- E237 - Please take me skiing
- E238 - A vacation in disorientation
- E239 - You know those year-end parties where you keep drinking until you've forgotten everything that happened the past year? There are a few things you're not supposed to forget
- E240 - People can only live by forgetting the bad
- E241 - We are all hosts, in capital letters
- E242 - Girls like Vegeta, guys like Piccolo
- E243 - Draw your life on the canvas we call manga
- E244 - Check it out!!
- E245 - Thorny and Rosy
- E246 - Festival of Thornys
- E247 - Letter From Thorny
- E248 - Madaodog Madaonaire
- E249 - Presents Are Meant To Be Given Early
- E250 - New Year's Envelopes Are Perfect for Dirty Jokes
- E251 - When Sleeping Under a Kotatsu, Make Sure You Don't Burn Your Balls
- E252 - We're Sorry
- E253 - Nobody with Natural Straight Hair Can Be That Bad
- E254 - Kintoki and Gintoki
- E255 - Kin-san's Kintama
- E256 - The Meaning of a Main Character
- E256.C - Gintama Classic - It's Your House, You Build It
- E256.C - Gintama Classic - Within Each Box of Cigarettes, Are One or Two Cigarettes That Smell Like Horse Dung
- E256.C - Gintama Classic - Life is a Test
- E256.C - Gintama Classic - It Takes a Bit of Courage to Enter a Street Vendor's Stand
- E256.5 - Gintama Classic - Definitely Do Not Let Your Girlfriend See The Things You Use For Cross-dressing / There's Almost a 100% Chance You’ll Forget Your Umbrella and Hate Yourself For It
- E256.C - Gintama Classic - Whenever I Hear Leviathan, I Think of Sazae-san. Stupid Me!!
- E256.C - Gintama Classic - No Matter How Old You Get, You Still Hate the Dentist
- E256.C - Gintama Classic - Why Not Talk About the Old Days for a Change?
- E257 - Courtesan turns the tables
- E258 - Inside the Palace!!
- E259 - Five Pinkies
- E260 - Pinky Swear
- E261 - Unsetting Moon
- E261.C - Gintama Classic - People Are All Escapees of Their Own Inner Prisons.
- E261.C - Gintama Classic - An Observation Journal Should Be Seen Through To The Very End
- E261.C - Gintama Classic - Sleep Helps a Child Grow
- E262 - The Sound of a Beam Can Pierce Every Heart
- E263 - Two Brothers
- E264 - Liquor and Gasoline, Smiles and Tears
- E265 - Dog Food Doesn't Have As Much Flavor As You'd Think
E202 - Everyone Looks a Little Grown Up After Spring Break
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Shin
The land of the samurai.
[00:02] Shin
There was a time, long ago, when our country was called by that name.
[00:06] Shin
With the arrival of the Amanto from outer space and the Sword Ban twenty years ago,
[00:11] Shin
the samurai class fell into decline.
[00:14] Shin
In these hard times, there was one man left with the spirit of the samurai. His name is Gintoki Sakata.
[00:20] Shin
Kagura and I, Shinpachi Shimura, work at Odd Jobs Gin, which is coincidentally...
[00:25] Kagura
Enough already!
[00:26] Gin
Why would you reuse the introduction now?!
[00:31] Shin
Because this is supposed to be a new show!
[00:33] Shin
We have to explain the context for the newcomers!
[00:36] Kagura
It's a waste of time to worry about the context of this anime.
[00:40] Kagura
The audience is only kind of paying attention.
[00:43] Gin
Right.
[00:45] Gin
So Gintama is kind of back in 16:9.
[02:28] Shin
The first episode of Gintama in a year.
[02:31] Shin
It'll take a little time to get back in the flow,
[02:33] Shin
but for now, it's back to work.
SIGN
[02:36] Shin
It feels like I haven't been here in forever.
[02:39] Shin
Good morning!
[02:42] Shin
I guess he's still asleep.
[02:44] Shin
Seriously, we're finally back on air...
[02:47] Shin
Wake up, Gin-san!
[02:48] Shin
Vacation's over.
[02:50] Shin
The show is back...
[02:55] Gin
This town hasn't changed...
[02:58] Gin
Everybody's walking around with glum faces.
[03:02] Shin
Wait!
[03:03] Shin
Who are you?!
[03:04] Shin
What are you doing in here?!
[03:05] Shin
I'll call the police...
[03:06] Gin
Shinpachi.
[03:07] Gin
You haven't changed either.
[03:09] Gin
Couldn't find anything to do while we ran reruns for a year?
[03:13] Gin
You never learn.
[03:15] Shin
Th-That voice...
[03:17] Gin
Hey, now.
[03:18] Gin
You even forgot my face?
[03:22] Gin
Well, they say it only takes a man three days to grow out of his boots.
[03:27] Gin
It's me.
[03:30] Gin
Gin-san.
SIGN
[03:38] Shin
What?!
[03:39] Gin
Long time no see, Pachi-boy.
[03:41] Gin
How you been doing?
[03:42] Shin
No, wait!
[03:43] Shin
Long time no see?!
[03:44] Shin
What?!
[03:45] Shin
Sure, it's been a year since the show was last on air...
[03:47] Shin
What the hell happened to you in the past year?!
[03:49] Gin
That's long enough for my hair to grow out.
[03:52] Shin
Forget your hair! You look like a completely different character!
[03:55] Shin
You're acting like we just ran into each other for the first time in years at the World Martial Arts Tournament!
[03:59] Shin
Why do you have a scar?!
[04:00] Shin
Why do you have that patch on your chest?!
[04:02] Gin
What do you mean?
[04:04] Gin
Did you forget the promise we made?
[04:06] Shin
Huh?
[04:06] Gin
After the show ended, we held a little pow wow.
[04:09] Gin
Don't you remember?
[04:10] Shin
Huh?
[04:11] Shin
What are you talking about?
[04:12] Gin
With the TV show and movie over with,
[04:14] Gin
Gintama was starting to lose its novelty.
[04:17] Gin
So we discussed how it was necessary to
[04:19] Gin
give the show a breath of fresh air to keep the fans interested.
[04:23] Gin
Each of us would use this break to work on a remedy.
[04:28] Gin
And then we would return to New Odd Jobs.
[04:32] All
We'll meet up at Jabaody Archipelago in two years!
[04:35] Shin
We never made any promises!
[04:37] Shin
Where the hell is Jabaody Archipelago?!
[04:39] Gin
Doesn't matter where it is.
[04:41] Gin
It comes down to feeling and inspiration.
[04:43] Shin
Inspiration, my ass!
[04:44] Shin
You stole that promise from a different anime!
[04:46] Shin
Nobody was waiting for you fools!
[04:48] Gin
Man, I spent all my time training hard.
[04:51] Gin
What were you doing?
[04:52] Gin
I had a rough time.
[04:54] Gin
Getting blown up by weird aliens...
[04:57] Gin
Impaled by cyborgs...
[04:59] Gin
Losing my woman to some guy with a mad widow's peak...
[05:01] Shin
You keep using flashbacks from other shows!
[05:04] Shin
And you did all of this in one year?!
[05:06] Gin
Huh? One year?
[05:08] Gin
What are you talking about?
[05:09] Gin
Two years have passed in this anime in the past year.
[05:13] Shin
That's not much of a difference.
[05:16] Shin
And you're clearly lying!
[05:17] Shin
I mean, this show follows the Sazae format where nobody ages...
[05:19] Gin
I'm not lying.
[05:20] Gin
Just look at how much I've changed.
[05:22] Kagura
I'm back!
[05:24] Kagura
'Sup!
[05:25] Kagura
Long time no see, guys!
[05:26] Kagura
How you been doing?
[05:28] Kagura
Huh?
[05:29] Kagura
Did you shrink, Shinpachi?
[05:31] Shin
Uh, er...
[05:32] Shin
Excuse me.
[05:33] Shin
Who are you?
[05:35] Kagura
What? It's me.
[05:39] Kagura
Kagura.
[05:40] Shin
Wait!
[05:43] Shin
What?!
[05:45] Kagura
You look exactly the same.
[05:48] Gin
Right?
[05:49] Gin
This guy didn't do anything the past two years.
[05:51] Shin
Wait! This is...
[05:52] Shin
Kagura-cha-
[05:53] Shin
Kagura-san?!
[05:54] Shin
You've gotta be kidding!
[05:55] Shin
She's completely grown up!
[05:58] Kagura
They say it only takes a woman three days to grow out of her boots.
[06:01] Shin
No, they don't!
[06:02] Kagura
I'm tired after the long trip.
[06:04] Kagura
Bring me some clothes.
[06:05] Kagura
I'm gonna take a nap.
[06:06] Shin
No, wait.
[06:07] Shin
There's something else we need to address first...
[06:10] Kagura
Too slow, Nappa!
[06:11] Gin
She's fast...
[06:12] Gin
She changed into her pajamas and plopped herself on the couch the moment she got home.
[06:15] Gin
She's grown into one hell of a pajama girl.
[06:17] Shin
Am I supposed to be impressed?!
[06:18] Shin
And what was the point in standing on my head?!
[06:21] Gin
Kagura, where were you training?
[06:23] Kagura
Nowhere really.
[06:24] Kagura
I flew around space with Pappy.
[06:26] Kagura
Oh, I brought some souvenirs you can eat...
[06:30] Gin
Huh?
[06:30] Gin
Are you talking about this?
[06:32] Gin
Sorry, I already ate it.
[06:33] Kagura
He's fast...
[06:34] Kagura
He finished them off before I even mentioned them...
[06:37] Kagura
Gin-chan's grown into one hell of a greedy guy.
[06:39] Shin
That wouldn't be considered growth!
[06:40] Shin
And do you feel you have to stand on my head to look impressive?!
[06:45] Gin
It appears that my two years of training wasn't for nothing.
[06:49] Kagura
We're going to start a new legend here at New Odd Jobs!
[06:52] Kagura
I'm getting excited!
[06:53] Shin
Nothing's changed!
[06:54] Shin
Hell, the two of you have regressed!
[06:57] Shin
Anyway, is it true?!
[06:59] Shin
Two years have passed while I wasn't paying attention?!
[07:02] Shin
Nobody told me about this!
[07:04] Shin
Why was I the only one left behind?!
[07:06] Gin
That's what happens when you treat the break as a vacation.
[07:10] Gin
You're supposed to work hard when people aren't watching.
[07:13] Shin
You're the one who's trying to convince everyone you were training during the break!
SIGN
[07:17] Gin
Personally, I want to know how you're able to look exactly the same after two years.
[07:23] Gin
Two years is enough for ramen to grow stale.
[07:25] Kagura
By the way, Sadaharu tagged along with me and grew a lot, Nappa.
[07:29] Shin
Can you stop calling me Nappa?
[07:32] Kagura
Ah, it must be Sadaharu!
[07:34] Kagura
Pets weren't allowed on my ship, so I had to put him on a different one.
[07:40] Shin
Oh, he hasn't changed at all.
[07:43] Shin
Why did you say that he grew a lot, Kagura-san?
[07:46] Shin
Actually, he looks smaller now?
[07:49] Kagura
Here's the receipt.
SIGN
[07:59] Shin
Uh...
[08:00] Shin
Excuse me.
[08:01] Shin
Sadaharu just left.
[08:04] Shin
Uh, our pet just ran off, Mister.
[08:08] Sadaharu
It's been a while.
[08:11] Sadaharu
I, Sadaharu, have finished serving my time.
[08:14] Shin
Him?!
[08:16] Shin
Hold on!
[08:17] Shin
That's impossible!
[08:18] Shin
This is clearly the delivery man!
[08:21] Shin
That dog was obviously Sadaharu!
[08:23] Kagura
That was a delivery dog from Planet Komainu.
[08:26] Kagura
Sadaharu's shy, so I had him delivered by a dog just like him.
[08:30] Shin
Just like him?!
[08:31] Shin
That was obviously Sadaharu!
[08:32] Shin
And they don't look anything like each other!
[08:35] Kagura
Like I said, he grew a lot.
[08:38] Shin
This isn't called growing a lot!
[08:40] Shin
This is called turning into a completely different creature!
[08:42] Gin
Shinpachi, dogs grow faster than humans.
[08:46] Gin
Two years is enough for them to become old men.
[08:49] Shin
This guy is literally just an old man!
[08:51] Sadaharu
Brother Shinpachi,
[08:52] Sadaharu
if I've done anything to offend you, I apologize.
[08:56] Shin
Brother?!
[08:57] Sadaharu
Please don't blame Sister.
[09:00] Sadaharu
I will make amends!
[09:04] Sadaharu
If a doggy or two will satisfy you...
[09:07] Shin
Wait!
[09:08] Shin
Wait, wait, wait!
[09:09] Shin
What do you mean by doggy?!
[09:10] Shin
Why does this remind me of pinky amputation?!
[09:12] Shin
What's wrong with this Sadaharu?!
[09:13] Shin
Why is he acting like a direct-to-video fan?!
[09:15] Shin
Huh?
[09:16] Shin
Wait a second.
[09:16] Shin
That's...
[09:17] Shin
On closer look, there's something at the end of his tail...
[09:19] Shin
Sadaharu?!
[09:20] Shin
There's a small Sadaharu on his tail?!
[09:22] Gin
What's this?
[09:23] Shin
What's going on?!
[09:26] Sadaharu
Uncle, Brother...
[09:28] Sadaharu
Mind if I tell you an old story?
[09:32] Sadaharu
There was a very happy dog who belonged to very wonderful owners.
[09:37] Sadaharu
However, the dog always wondered if he was worthy of his owners.
[09:45] Sadaharu
In order to join his owners as they marched on, to move forward,
[09:49] Sadaharu
the dog chose to fight alongside them.
[09:52] Sadaharu
Day after day, he would place his tail in scorching sand.
[09:56] Shin
Why would you do that?
[09:57] Sadaharu
Day after day, he would make his tail watch Karate Kid 3.
[10:01] Shin
Why would you do that?
[10:03] Sadaharu
Eventually, a firm wart appeared on his tail.
[10:08] Sadaharu
It continued to grow bigger.
[10:11] Sadaharu
However, as the wart grew in size,
[10:13] Sadaharu
his body shrunk.
[10:15] Sadaharu
As though the wart was sapping his strength...
[10:17] Sadaharu
Do you understand?
[10:18] Sadaharu
That's right - I am that wart.
[10:22] Shin
How could I possibly understand?!
[10:23] Kagura
Long story short, the wart traded places with the original.
[10:26] Shin
That's so short that I have no idea what you mean!
[10:29] Sadaharu
Do not worry.
[10:30] Sadaharu
Sadaharu and I may be different in appearance,
[10:32] Sadaharu
but our minds are connected through this tail, and we share the same destiny.
[10:36] Sadaharu
You can call us the Wartio Brothers.
[10:37] Shin
That's not funny!
[10:38] Sadaharu
Please call me Wartiharu.
[10:40] Sadaharu
It is an honor.
[10:41] Shin
I'm not gonna call you that!
[10:42] Shin
How are we supposed to keep this freak as a pet?!
[10:45] Shin
I won't have it!
[10:46] Shin
I refuse to accept this!
[10:48] Kagura
Hey! Wait, Nappa!
[10:50] Shin
Otose-san!
[10:52] Shin
Hello?
[10:53] Shin
Listen to this!
[10:54] Shin
Gin-san and Kagura are...
[10:55] Otose
What's all the fuss about?
[10:57] Otose
Don't just barge into a lady's room.
[10:58] Otose
You should knock first.
[11:01] Tama
Is there a fight going on, Master Shinpachi?
[11:04] Catherine
It's probably something stupid again.
[11:07] Catherine
Just ignore him.
[11:08] Catherine
It's a waste of time to listen to him.
[11:10] Shin
I knew it...
[11:11] Shin
You haven't changed at all...
[11:13] Shin
They were lying about two years passing.
[11:15] Otose
What are you babbling about?
[11:18] Otose
In any case, it's been...
[11:21] Otose
...quite some time since I've seen you.
[11:23] Tama
A long time.
[11:24] Catherine
A very long time.
[11:28] Shin
You're all Wartiharu!
[11:30] Tama
Oh, you recognize us?
[11:32] Shin
There's nothing to recognize!
[11:33] Shin
You've all evolved into different creatures!
[11:34] Shin
And an android is capable of growing warts?!
[11:36] Tama
They were all intent on improving themselves,
[11:39] Tama
and after pushing themselves too hard for two years, we were born.
[11:43] Tama
For now, you can call us Wartise, Wartirine, and Warti.
[11:46] Shin
So there's nothing left of Tama-san?!
[11:49] Gin
Like I said,
[11:51] Gin
everybody's been working hard while you weren't watching.
[11:54] Gin
We've all been trying to grow.
[11:56] Shin
Only their warts have grown!
[11:58] Gin
Pachi-boy, it doesn't matter what you think.
[12:01] Gin
The past two years aren't coming back.
[12:03] Gin
You have to face reality and look to the future.
[12:06] Gin
You'll have plenty of chances to redeem yourself!
[12:10] Gin
Right now, you're denying yourself that chance...
[12:12] Gin
The chance to create a wart!
[12:14] Shin
You bet I'm gonna deny that chance!
[12:17] Shin
Just leave me alone.
[12:19] Shin
There was a two year jump during the one year break like in One Piece...
[12:23] Shin
Warts turning into old men...
[12:27] Shin
Everybody leaving me behind...
[12:29] Shin
How am I supposed to accept this?!
[12:44] Otae
Shin-chan, may I come in?
[12:46] Shin
Sorry.
[12:48] Shin
I don't want to see anyone right now.
[12:51] Shin
It feels like everyone's gone to a faraway place.
[12:57] Shin
I've experienced this many times before.
[13:01] Shin
I dream about this all the time, Sis.
[13:06] Shin
We're all running in the darkness.
[13:09] Shin
But everyone else is faster than me.
[13:12] Shin
I try my best to catch up,
[13:14] Shin
but I end up alone in the darkness.
[13:20] Otae
Shin-chan, you're a lucky boy.
[13:24] Otae
Because you have a goal to guide you through the darkness.
[13:29] Otae
The truly unfortunate are those who stand still without any sense of which direction to go.
[13:34] Otae
And it's hardest on the person who's running out in front when he can't tell left from right...
[13:42] Otae
True, they aren't nice enough to slow down for you.
[13:47] Otae
They may take a lot of detours...
[13:50] Otae
But you believe that he's moving forward, right?
[13:55] Otae
You're very fortunate to have someone like that, Shin-chan.
[13:59] Otae
No matter how far away he gets, you'll still be able to see him.
[14:02] Otae
And as long as you keep moving, I know that you'll be able to catch up.
[14:06] Otae
It only makes sense.
[14:07] Otae
Since I'll be there to kick you along.
[14:14] Shin
Sis...
[14:15] Shin
Sis...
[14:17] Shin
Sis!
[14:19] Shin
It doesn't matter if two years have passed!
[14:21] Shin
I can go anywhere if I'm with you!
[14:28] Kondo
That's the little brother I know!
[14:30] Kondo
You can hang on tight to the two of us!
[14:32] Kondo
I won't go easy on you!
[14:33] Kondo
But I promise to take you to Neverland!
[14:36] Otae
Honestly...
[14:37] Otae
Don't get so excited that you forget about us, Isao-san.
[14:41] Otae
Though I'll always be right behind you.
[14:43] Kondo
Now that we're all happy, let's have dinner!
[14:45] Kondo
Hurry up, or you won't get any!
[14:48] Otae
Please, wait for me, Isao-san!
[14:50] Kondo
What's for dinner tonight?
[14:53] Otae
Your favorite.
[14:55] Kondo
What? Curry...
[14:56] Otae
Omelets.
[14:57] Kondo
Thought so!
[14:58] Kondo
Y-Yay!
[14:59] Kondo
This will help me forget everything bad that's happened!
[15:16] Otae
Now, Isao-san.
[15:17] Otae
Open wide!
[15:18] Kondo
Come on, Otae-san.
[15:21] Kondo
I can eat my own food.
[15:23] Otae
Please, why are you acting so shy?
[15:26] Otae
We're married now.
[15:28] Otae
This is a perfectly normal thing to do.
[15:29] Kondo
You're such a doll!
[15:31] Kondo
Nobody would be able to guess which one of us used to stalk the other one!
[15:35] Otae
Don't say that.
[15:36] Otae
If I'd known how kind you were,
[15:39] Otae
I could have found happiness much sooner.
[15:42] Otae
I never imagined that you would quit the Shinsengumi and help us with our dojo.
[15:46] Kondo
The Shinsengumi can do fine without me.
[15:50] Kondo
They have plenty of responsible people.
[15:52] Kondo
But it's my job to support you, Otae-san.
[15:56] Kondo
I'm hopeless without you...
[15:59] Otae
Oh, please!
[16:01] Kondo
I can't believe I said that!
[16:03] Shin
I'm finished eating...
[16:04] Otae
Oh, Shin-chan?
[16:05] Otae
You barely touched your food.
[16:06] Kondo
You need to eat so you can work, Shinpachi-kun.
[16:09] Shin
Huh?
[16:10] Kondo
Today's your first day on the job!
[16:13] Otae
That's right.
[16:14] Otae
Isao-san helped you find this wonderful job,
[16:17] Otae
so you need to work hard.
[16:19] Otae
Here.
[16:22] Kondo
It feels good to know that you'll be there to replace me.
[16:25] Kondo
I'm trusting you to take care of the Shinsengumi.
[16:27] Otae
We won't see each other much since you'll be living there while training,
[16:31] Otae
but do your best.
[16:32] Otae
The two of us...
[16:34] Otae
No, the three of us will always be here to support you.
[16:38] Kondo
Right.
[16:39] Kondo
Hmm?
[16:40] Kondo
Three of us?
[16:41] Kondo
Three of us...?
[16:43] Otae
Shin-chan, you'll be an uncle when you return.
[16:48] Otae
Become a samurai that will make this child proud.
[16:52] Kondo
R-Really, Otae-san?!
[16:55] Kondo
I'm going to be a father?!
[16:56] Kondo
Did you hear that, Shinpachi-kun?!
[16:58] Kondo
H-Huh?
[16:58] Kondo
Shinpachi-kun?!
[17:01] Otae
He's fired up!
[17:03] Kondo
Man, he's a very dependable little brother...
[17:05] Kondo
No, a very dependable uncle.
[17:08] A
That was when Ikazo...
[17:23] Shin
Are you shitting me?!
[17:27] Shin
God!
[17:28] Shin
What have I done to deserve this?!
[17:29] Shin
I go on vacation for a year and this is what happens?!
[17:32] Shin
It's not right!
[17:33] Shin
The Odd Jobs members have changed!
[17:34] Shin
And what's worse, that gorilla of a stalker somehow managed to land my sister
[17:37] Shin
and become my older brother!
[17:40] Shin
I'm the third wheel now!
[17:42] Shin
They sent me to the Shinsengumi to get me out of the house!
[17:45] Shin
I'm completely out of the loop at Odd Jobs, at my own home!
[17:47] Shin
This short amount of time was all it took to leave me with nowhere to belong?!
[17:54] Shin
This is awful...
[17:55] Shin
It's like I'm the only person left in an unknown world...
[17:59] Shin
Where am I supposed to go?
[18:04] Kyube
I understand how you feel.
[18:07] Kyube
I was once in your position.
[18:10] Shin
Ky-Kyubei-san?!
[18:14] Shin
Sh-She totally looks like a girl now!
[18:17] Shin
And her hand...
[18:20] Kyube
S-Sorry...
[18:23] Shin
Kyubei-san...
[18:25] Shin
You're okay with touching men now?
[18:28] Shin
And your clothes...
[18:30] Kyube
S-Sorry...
[18:31] Kyube
I couldn't ignore you when I saw you crying...
[18:35] Kyube
Otae-chan is gone now,
[18:38] Kyube
so I decided that I needed to change.
[18:40] Shin
I see...
[18:41] Shin
Because she lost my sister...
[18:44] Kyube
D-Do I look strange?
[18:45] Shin
Ah! Sorry about what I said!
[18:47] Shin
You look really cute!
[18:48] Shin
You're totally my type!
[18:51] Kyube
Th-Thank you...
[18:55] Kyube
U-Um, Shinpachi-kun,
[18:58] Kyube
you aren't alone.
[19:00] Kyube
I'm here for you.
[19:01] Kyube
So you can come here when you're feeling down.
[19:04] Kyube
I come here all the time.
[19:06] Kyube
It helps when there's someone else who feels the same way as you do.
[19:10] Kyube
And do you mind if I ask a favor in return?
[19:13] Shin
Huh?
[19:14] Kyube
Well, um...
[19:16] Kyube
Could you experiment by touching me from time to time?
[19:19] Shin
Huh?
[19:20] Shin
What's she talking about?
[19:22] Kyube
It seems that I'm fine when you touch me.
[19:25] Kyube
I wonder why?
[19:26] Kyube
Maybe it's because you resemble Tae-chan.
[19:28] Kyube
Or maybe...
[19:30] Shin
M-My heart is about to burst!
[19:34] Kyube
I want to forget about Tae-chan...
[19:36] Kyube
I have to learn to live with men.
[19:41] Kyube
So...
[19:43] Kyube
Is it okay?
[19:44] Shin
Was Kyubei-san always this cute?!
[19:47] Shin
It's okay!
[19:48] Shin
Absolutely okay!
[19:49] Shin
I can help you every day if you want!
[19:51] Shin
I'll help you with anything you need!
[19:53] Shin
I can touch you every day!
[19:54] Kyube
R-Really?
[19:56] Kyube
I'm so happy.
[19:57] Kyube
Then touch me more.
[20:01] Kyube
Please be gentle when you experiment.
[20:05] Shin
Wait! What?
[20:06] Shin
Hold on!
[20:07] Shin
Kyubei-san!
[20:08] Shin
If I...
[20:08] Shin
If I experiment there...
[20:09] Shin
I'll...
[20:10] Shin
I'll...
[20:12] Shin
...turn into a mad scientist!
[20:23] Shin
Huh?
[20:25] Shin
There's something here...
[20:27] Shin
Something that feels very familiar...
[20:29] Kyube
Well?
[20:30] Kyube
How is it compared to yours?
[20:32] Kyube
I just finished having the procedure,
[20:34] Kyube
but I couldn't tell, is there anything abnormal about it?
[20:38] Shin
What procedure?
[20:40] Kyube
For that.
[20:41] Shin
For what?
[20:42] Kyube
The procedure to attach a male organ.
[20:47] Shin
What the hell did you do?!
[20:49] Shin
You were asking me to touch your balls?!
[20:52] Kyube
Unlike before, I'm a woman on the outside and a man on the inside.
[20:55] Kyube
I've been completely reborn!
[20:58] Shin
You've only made it worse!
[21:01] Kyube
I'm tired of trying to become a man or a woman.
[21:04] Kyube
Now, I search for a new world where gender doesn't matter
[21:08] Kyube
with those people.
[21:10] Guy
Kyu-chan!
[21:11] Guy
We're heading back!
[21:13] A
Oh, it's the cutie from Odd Jobs.
[21:13] Shin
She's aiming for a incredibly wrong new world?!
[21:15] B
Kyu-chan's trying to steal him! Eek!
[21:15] Shin
It's bon voyage to a new world with the blue beard pirates?!
[21:19] Shin
Wait, are you working at a gay bar?!
[21:21] Kyube
Heh, I'm their ace.
[21:24] Shin
Why are you so proud?!
[21:25] Shin
This is so crazy that I have no idea what's going on anymore!
[21:28] Katsura
Enough, Sir Kyubei.
[21:31] Katsura
You actually attached that foul member to your body.
[21:33] Katsura
I see that you're intent on making your character overlap with mine.
[21:36] Kyube
You are...
[21:37] Katsura
We are both considered serious characters.
[21:39] Katsura
We only differ in gender.
[21:41] Katsura
You intend to eliminate that difference and take over my role.
[21:45] Katsura
But I was one step ahead of you!
[21:47] Katsura
While you were attaching that foul member...
[21:50] Katsura
I...
[21:55] Katsura
Became Zurako!
SIGN
SIGN
SIGN
[23:29] Shin
The show is finally back,
[23:30] Shin
but what the hell is going on with everyone?!
E203 - [Wartirine / Warti / Wartise]
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:32] Shin
While the show was on a one year break,
[01:34] Shin
Gin-san, Kagura-chan, and everyone else I knew changed into completely different people.
[01:40] Shin
And they all claimed that two years had passed since the show went off the air.
SIGN
[01:44] Shin
I tried to escape this cruel reality
[01:46] Shin
and arrived at the beach,
[01:48] Shin
only to find a very different Kyubei-san!
[01:51] Shin
And there was more to come...
[01:53] Katsura
Enough, Sir Kyubei.
[01:56] ---
You...
[01:57] Katsura
I...
[02:02] Katsura
...became Zurako!
SIGN
[02:12] Shin
Your characters don't overlap at all!
[02:14] Shin
You stinkin' lunatic!
[02:18] Shin
You're the only one who's stupid enough to have his balls removed to avoid character overlap!
[02:21] Shin
And hell, you're both trannies now!
[02:25] Katsura
C-Curses!
[02:26] Katsura
I was so focused on the details that I lost sight of the big picture!
[02:30] Shin
That's not all you lost!
[02:32] Katsura
Sir Kyubei!
[02:34] Katsura
It appears that we are doomed to share the same character traits.
[02:38] Katsura
One of us must be eliminated for the sake of more screen time.
[02:43] Katsura
One has both balls and boobs.
[02:45] Katsura
The other has neither balls nor boobs.
[02:47] Katsura
Let us determine who the true transsexual is!
[02:51] Both
The position of gay bar champion...
[02:53] Both
...shall be mine!
[02:56] Shin
Is that even worth fighting over?!
[03:00] Shin
What the hell...
[03:01] Shin
First people growing, now people changing their gender...
[03:05] Shin
The only thing that hasn't changed...
[03:08] Shin
...is how they're still a bunch of idiots.
[03:11] Yama
There you are.
SIGN
[03:13] Yama
Stinkin' four eyes.
[03:14] Yama
You got guts to escape from your first day on the job, an?
[03:18] Yama
You're ready to die, an?
[03:26] Shin
O-Okita-san?!
[03:28] Shin
That bazooka is Okita-san's!
[03:29] Yama
What are you babblin' about?
[03:31] Yama
I don't see you for a while, and you need glasses for your brain now, an?
[03:35] Yama
It's me.
[03:37] Yama
Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi.
[03:39] Yama
Jimmy Yamazaki, an?
[03:42] Shin
What?!
[03:46] Yama
Now move your ass, an?
[03:47] Shin
No way!
[03:49] Shin
Average Joe Yamazaki?!
[03:50] Yama
That's ancient history!
[03:52] Yama
Back when I was still a cherry boy!
[03:56] Yama
I stand fully erect now!
[03:58] Yama
I'm Jimmy Yamazaki, the vice-commander who makes crying babies cry harder, an?
[04:04] Shin
Whoa!
[04:05] Shin
What happened?!
[04:06] Shin
You're addicted to anpan now!
[04:08] Shin
It's even showing up in your speech!
[04:11] Yama
Hey, start driving, an?
[04:12] Hijikata
Uh...
[04:13] Yama
I said to drive the damn car, nitwit!
[04:16] Hijikata
Ow...
[04:18] Hijikata
Well, I wanted to say hello first since it's been a while.
[04:21] Yama
Nobody's gonna remember a no name like you, an?
[04:25] Hijikata
It's been so long, Shinpachi-kun.
[04:28] Hijikata
I'm Toshiro Hijikata.
[04:30] Hijikata
Do you remember me?
[04:32] Hijikata
Of course not.
[04:33] Shin
Hi-Hijikata-san?!
[04:34] Shin
Is this Hijikata-san?!
[04:35] Shin
No way!
[04:36] Shin
Hijikata-san would never smile like this!
[04:39] Shin
Especially not after being slapped around by someone like Yamazaki-san!
[04:41] Yama
Hey, what's that supposed to mean? Explain, Hijikata, an?
[04:45] Shin
He's smiling after being hit for no reason!
[04:49] Hijikata
A lot's happened.
[04:51] Hijikata
I took over as commander after Kondo-san retired,
[04:55] Hijikata
but it became painfully clear that ruling through fear would no longer work.
[04:59] Hijikata
And after some thinking, I decided to halve my way of life, my mayonnaise intake, and my calorie intake.
[05:05] Hijikata
As a result, I'm now known as Toshi-san, the Shinsengumi's collective bitch.
[05:09] Shin
You ended up losing your position in the process!
[05:12] Hijikata
Still, I never thought I'd have the opportunity to work with you.
[05:15] Hijikata
It's making me blush.
[05:16] Shin
Could you please stop being so creepy?
[05:18] Hijikata
How are Gin-san and Kagura-chan doing?
[05:21] Hijikata
They should have tagged along.
[05:22] Hijikata
It's been pretty lonely without Kondo-san around.
[05:24] Shin
Hijikata!
[05:25] Shin
Enough already!
[05:27] Shin
How can you call yourself Hijikata?!
[05:28] Shin
How?!
[05:30] Shin
I don't believe this...
[05:31] Shin
The Shinsengumi has seen a complete overhaul...
[05:34] Shin
Wait.
[05:35] Shin
That means...
SIGN
[05:42] A
The Shinsengumi Kaiser!
[05:44] A
Seig heil, Herr Okita de Sade Sogo III!
[05:50] All
Kaiser!
[05:52] All
Kaiser!
[05:53] All
Kaiser!
[05:58] Shin
He's been promoted way past the rank of commander...
[06:03] Okita
Silence, gentlemen.
[06:05] Okita
Two years have passed since the formation of the Holy Shinsengumi Empire.
[06:08] Shin
Empire?!
[06:09] Shin
This is an empire?!
[06:10] Okita
Thanks to your efforts, the empire has been able to extend its influence.
[06:15] Okita
We now control over half of Edo.
[06:18] Shin
You don't sound like the police anymore!
[06:21] Okita
It won't be long before the day comes when we slaughter the Shogun and hoist the flag of our empire...
[06:26] Okita
...over Edo Castle!
[06:27] Shin
That would make you Joi!
[06:29] Shin
That would make you terrorists now!
[06:31] Okita
However, we must first take control of a certain area before we can begin our crusade.
[06:36] Okita
An impregnable town of steel...
[06:38] Okita
A lawless place for the ruffians of Edo to gather...
[06:42] Okita
The Kabuki district!
SIGN
[06:44] Okita
If we don't secure this town before launching our attack on Edo Castle,
[06:46] Okita
it will come back to haunt us.
[06:48] Okita
But worry not!
[06:50] Okita
Every stronghold has a weakness!
[06:53] Okita
And I now have the means to exploit that weakness.
[06:56] Okita
We have taken a friend of Shogun Sakata, the fearless general of the Kabuki district...
[07:00] Okita
...as a hostage!
[07:01] Okita
The town of steel will fall quickly now.
[07:05] Shin
Hold on!
[07:06] Shin
Who is this fearless general?!
[07:07] Shin
Are you trying to crush Odd Jobs?!
[07:09] Okita
I will eliminate anyone who stands in the way of my ambition.
[07:14] Shin
Your ambition?!
[07:15] Shin
When did you join the camp of cliche Edo dominating megalomaniacs, Jerkaiser!
[07:18] Okita
Hey, that was uncalled for.
[07:20] Okita
At the very least, you should address me as Jerk of a Kaiser.
[07:22] Okita
I get annoyed when people combine words.
[07:25] Okita
Normally, I would have you executed, but I'll spare your life since you have use as a hostage.
[07:30] Okita
Hijikata, take him away.
[07:32] Hijikata
Yes, Jerkaiser!
[07:33] Okita
Yamazaki, smack him.
[07:34] Yama
Yes, Jerkaiser!
[07:35] Okita
Why is this catching on?
[07:37] Okita
Someone, execute everyone besides the hostage.
[07:39] All
Yes, Jerkaiser!
[07:40] Okita
Fine, have it your way.
[07:41] Okita
Starting tomorrow, I'll change my title to Jerkaiser.
[07:43] Okita
But make the "Jer" inaudible.
[07:48] Shin
Damn it...
[07:49] Shin
What's going on?
[07:51] Shin
Why is this happening?
[07:53] Shin
I'm sick of this world...
[07:55] Shin
Nobody I know is here...
[07:59] Hijikata
Stop sniffling, you wimp.
[08:02] Hijikata
I finally found someone normal,
[08:05] Hijikata
but you don't look like you'll be much help.
[08:07] Shin
Hi-Hijikata-san?
[08:08] Shin
Are you...
[08:11] Hijikata
Yeah...
[08:12] Hijikata
I was also left behind two years, just like you.
[08:28] Tamo
Here is this week's spotlight.
[08:30] N
This week's spotlight came in third on the sales chart.
[08:37] N
The third single from singer-songwriter MADAO-san.
[08:41] N
The God of Cardboard!
[08:43] Tamo
This is quite a surprise.
[08:45] Tamo
Another top-seller?
SIGN
[08:46] Tamo
Did you cut your hair?
[08:47] Madao
Actually, I grew it out.
[08:50] N
MADAO-san got the inspiration for this song from the sound of
SIGN
SIGN
[08:53] ---
tearing apart cardboard when he was living on the streets.
[08:56] N
He performed many concerts on the street before achieving his current popularity.
[09:01] Tamo
So how does it feel to go from living on the streets to cutting your hair?
[09:04] Madao
Uh, I didn't cut my hair.
[09:05] Madao
I grew it out.
[09:07] N
Ah, we're running out of time, so please get on stage.
[09:10] N
Here's MADAO-san with "I Cut My Hair."
[09:12] Madao
I said I didn't cut my hair!
[09:14] Madao
Do you want me to cut my hair?!
[09:16] Madao
Do I look bad with long hair?!
[09:17] Shin
What's going on?
[09:19] Hijikata
That's what I want to know.
[09:21] Hijikata
I went back to the station after the one year break, and everything was different.
[09:25] Hijikata
As though everyone else had spent the past two years without me...
[09:28] Shin
But why...
[09:30] Shin
Why did you pretend to be different?
[09:33] Hijikata
Because I thought that I was the one who was crazy.
[09:37] Hijikata
Wouldn't you?
[09:38] Hijikata
Every other person had changed.
[09:40] Hijikata
I was the exception.
[09:43] Hijikata
Given the situation, what else could I do but laugh?
SIGN
[09:47] Hijikata
But I guess I couldn't handle it.
[09:50] Yamazaki
D-Damn you, Hijikata!
[09:53] Yamazaki
You think you're gonna get away with this, an?
[09:59] Shin
Hijikata-san...
[10:00] Shin
Did we travel through time?
[10:03] Shin
We're the only ones stuck in a completely different world.
[10:08] Hijikata
Why did this happen to us?
[10:12] Shin
Maybe we're being punished...
[10:16] Shin
Hijikata-san...
[10:18] Shin
To be honest, I've been...
[10:21] Shin
...slacking off on playing the straight man.
[10:24] Shin
I was always exhausted after dealing with the onslaught of funny men.
[10:28] Shin
Despite all the work, I wasn't very popular.
[10:31] Shin
And there wasn't much merchandise featuring me.
[10:32] Shin
I had to wonder if playing a funny man paid better dividends...
[10:37] Shin
So while they were airing reruns for the past year,
SIGN
[10:40] Shin
I kicked back and completely forgot about playing the straight man.
SIGN
[10:44] Shin
But while I was doing nothing,
[10:49] Shin
everyone else found something to do and build on.
[10:52] Shin
They were moving forward.
[10:54] Shin
That's why I was left behind...
[10:59] Shin
I'm guessing that you know what I'm talking about.
[11:03] Shin
You were the only normal person in the Shinsengumi.
[11:05] Shin
You were also in the straight man position.
[11:08] Shin
But then you added that funny man persona, Tosshi...
[11:11] Hijikata
That was because of the sword...
[11:13] Shin
...and engaged in bizarre behavior involving mayonnaise.
[11:15] Hijikata
I just happen to like mayonnaise!
[11:17] Shin
Then how do you explain the smiling act?
[11:19] Shin
You just wanted to play a funny man, didn't you?
[11:22] Hijikata
Enough.
[11:23] Shin
Can you honestly say that you weren't trying to enjoy yourself?
[11:27] Hijikata
I said enough already, damn it!
[11:32] Shin
I'm sorry.
[11:33] Shin
I shouldn't have said that.
[11:34] Hijikata
Nah, I shouldn't have snapped at you.
[11:36] Hijikata
Just forget it.
[11:38] Hijikata
If the world was twisted into its current state by an oversaturation of funny men
[11:41] Hijikata
because the two of us stopped playing straight men,
[11:46] Hijikata
we don't have any right to gripe about it.
[11:51] Hijikata
Yeah...
[11:53] Both
We have to live in this world...
[11:58] Both
...as punishment.
[12:05] Hijikata
I'm heading back...
[12:06] Hijikata
...to the Holy Shinsengumi Empire.
[12:08] Hijikata
I'll try to stop the kaiser...
[12:10] Hijikata
...from attacking Odd Jobs.
[12:12] Hijikata
That's not going to help anything.
[12:15] Shin
I see...
[12:16] Shin
I plan on working at Odd Jobs.
[12:20] Shin
Gin-san may look like Yamcha
[12:22] Shin
and Kagura may be bigger than me,
[12:24] Shin
but Odd Jobs is still the same place.
[12:26] Shin
Good luck playing the straight man.
[12:28] Hijikata
Same to you.
[12:31] Shin
Not that it's going to change anything...
[12:38] Kusano
Now, we have a breaking news update.
[12:41] Kusano
The mysterious wart outbreak is continuing to spread throughout Edo.
[12:45] Kusano
Medical scientists have finally determined the source of this malady.
[12:49] Kusano
The warts, which attach themselves to organisms and absorb their life energy
[12:52] Kusano
before eventually taking over the host body,
[12:56] Kusano
have been identified as parasitic aliens known as Q'Sai Nettles.
[13:00] Kusano
First, the aliens transform into the figure on your left
[13:03] Kusano
and assimilate information from the host.
[13:05] Kusano
Eventually, it transforms into something completely identical to the host.
[13:09] Kusano
The alien supplants the host
[13:10] Kusano
and matures the appearance of the host by two years after a few days.
[13:15] Kusano
It should be noted that these aliens are attracted to ambition.
[13:20] Kusano
People with more ambition have a higher chance of being infected,
[13:23] Kusano
and the aliens will evolve according to that ambition.
[13:26] Kusano
Do you know anyone who's gone through a sudden change and talked about two years passing?
[13:31] Kusano
It's possible that they've been infected by Q'Sai Nettles.
[13:35] Kusano
First, you should check if the comatose original is hanging from the body.
[13:38] Kusano
Then use something like a paper fan to smack the Q'Sai Nettle as hard as you can.
[13:42] Kusano
Your friends have not changed!
[13:45] Kusano
Two years haven't passed!
[13:47] Kusano
The world before you is...
[13:51] Kusano
...a world with warts!
[13:55] B
Oh? Kusano-san?
[13:56] B
There's something hanging from your head...
[13:58] B
Is that...
[13:59] Kusano
Huh?
[14:01] Shin
So wait.
[14:03] Shin
What?
[14:03] Shin
In other words...
[14:06] Shin
They're all Wartiharu?!
[14:09] Shin
Yamcha Gin-san is just a Yamcha wart!
[14:11] Shin
The grown-up Kagura-chan is just a wart with two big warts!
[14:14] Shin
The gorilla couple is two warts making a wart baby!
[14:17] Hijikata
Ambition, huh?
[14:19] Hijikata
Ironic.
[14:21] Hijikata
We weren't infected because we were slacking off.
[14:26] Hijikata
And now, we're the only ones who can save them!
[14:30] Shin
I know exactly what I need to do now!
[14:34] Hijikata
We're gonna paper fan this twisted wartiworld!
[14:37] Shin
And take back our world!
[14:41] Kagura
Shinpachi!
[14:44] Kagura
Where did you go?
[14:46] Kagura
I was looking everywhere for you!
[14:48] Shin
Ka-Kagura-san?!
[14:49] Kagura
You dummy!
[14:50] Kagura
I was so worried!
[14:52] Hijikata
Hey!
[14:52] Hijikata
Smack her with the fan!
[14:54] Hijikata
That's just the wart!
[14:56] Shin
Ka-Kagura-san!
[14:58] Shin
It's not fair to press that body up against me!
[15:02] Kagura
I was so lonely.
[15:05] Kagura
An Odd Jobs without you is like you without glasses.
[15:09] Shin
Doesn't that mean you only need my glasses?!
[15:12] Kagura
Shinpachi...
[15:17] Shin
Is this really a wart?!
[15:19] Shin
This cute girl...
[15:22] Shin
Wait, does it even matter if she's a wart...
[15:23] Hijikata
Don't be fooled!
[15:29] Hijikata
Kaiser Okita de Sade Sogo III!
[15:33] Okita
Hi-Hijikata-san...
[15:35] Okita
I don't want to see you hit a woman...
[15:40] Kagura
Hey!
[15:41] Kagura
Hang on, Jerkaiser!
[15:43] Okita
Huh? How?
[15:45] Okita
A-After Kondo-san left,
[15:48] Okita
I devoted my life to making the force bigger...
[15:53] Okita
I didn't hesitate to commit atrocities for the sake of protecting the Shinsengumi...
[15:59] Okita
But Hijikata-san...
[16:01] Okita
If I let you get your hands dirty,
[16:03] Okita
the Shinsengumi will just be a gang of thugs.
[16:08] Shin
Hijikata-san?!
[16:09] Shin
Don't be fooled!
[16:10] Shin
That's a wart! Just a wart!
[16:12] Okita
I-I wanted...
[16:15] Okita
...to have another bowl of mayonnaise with you...
[16:19] Shin
That never happened!
[16:20] Shin
You said it was dog food!
[16:21] Shin
Stop lying!
[16:23] Hijikata
Sogo! Get a hold of yourself!
[16:24] Shin
Uh, that's not going to help!
[16:27] Shin
You're the one who needs to get a hold of yourself!
[16:28] Shin
Didn't we establish that he's just a wart?!
[16:30] Shin
Move!
[16:31] Shin
I'll finish it off!
[16:32] Otae
Stop, Shin-chan!
[16:34] Otae
A samurai would never attack a dying man!
[16:36] Shin
S-Sis!
[16:38] Shin
And she already gave birth!
[16:39] Otae
How could you be so cruel?
[16:43] Otae
What am I supposed to tell this child?
[16:45] Hijikata
Don't be fooled!
[16:47] Hijikata
She's not your sister!
[16:48] Hijikata
She's just a wart!
[16:49] Shin
You have no right to say that!
[16:51] Shin
Fine!
[16:52] Shin
I won't let you use my sister's face to play wife to the gorilla...
[16:56] Shin
...any longer!
[16:57] Otae
Stop!
[16:58] Otae
You've got it wrong!
[16:59] Otae
The father of my child is actually...
[17:01] Otae
Look at the hair!
[17:05] Shin
What are you doing?!
[17:07] Hijikata
Th-That hair...
[17:09] Hijikata
That V-shaped hair is...?
[17:10] Shin
Of course not!
[17:11] Shin
How could the two of you have a kid when you barely even know each other?!
[17:14] Otae
Forgive me, Toshi-san.
[17:16] Otae
I couldn't hide my true feelings.
[17:18] Otae
Even after pretending to be married to Isao-san...
[17:22] Shin
Wait a sec!
[17:23] Shin
My sister's turned into one hell of a slutty bitch?!
[17:26] Otae
Please!
[17:27] Otae
Take us away!
[17:29] Otae
To a world without gorillas!
[17:31] Shin
Hijikata-san!
[17:32] Shin
Don't be fooled!
[17:33] Shin
You don't have a kid!
[17:35] Hijikata
You thought you could fool me with such a cheap trick?
[17:39] Hijikata
Give me the kid and scram.
[17:41] Hijikata
I'll look after it.
[17:42] Shin
You've been completely fooled!
[17:44] Hijikata
Hey, can you spare the kid?
[17:46] Hijikata
Let me raise Togoro!
[17:49] Shin
Calm down!
[17:50] Shin
Who the hell is Togoro?!
[17:52] Kondo
Oh? His name is Togoro?
[17:54] Kondo
What an adorable child.
[17:57] Kondo
Would you mind letting me hold him?
[17:59] Hijikata
Oh, he's a newborn, so you'll need to support his head.
[18:02] Kondo
My, such an adorable child.
[18:06] Kondo
His mother and father must be lovely.
[18:09] Kondo
But he's not as adorable as my little girl.
[18:12] Kondo
Isn't that right,
[18:13] Kondo
Isako-chan?
[18:14] Shin
Kondo-san!
[18:15] Shin
You've lost your mind!
[18:16] Shin
You've completely lost your mind!
[18:19] Kondo
I won't let you have your happiness!
[18:22] Kondo
You're all!
[18:22] Kondo
You're all...
[18:24] Kondo
...headed straight down misery lane!
[18:27] Hijikata
T-Togoro!
[18:29] Shin
You can no longer be a straight man!
[18:30] Shin
You've been completely fooled!
[18:32] Kondo
Don't come any closer!
[18:35] Kondo
I'll jump off with the child!
[18:36] Hijikata
Calm down, Kondo-san!
[18:37] Hijikata
Let's not be hasty!
[18:38] Shin
You're the one who needs to calm down!
[18:39] Shin
We're supposed to be smacking down warts!
[18:41] Shin
Why are you stopping a wart from killing itself?!
[18:43] Hijikata
The child has done nothing wrong.
[18:45] Hijikata
You should blame...
[18:46] Hijikata
...Otae and me!
[18:47] Shin
Blame your poor excuse for a brain!
[18:49] Hijikata
Kill me instead!
[18:51] Hijikata
Please...
[18:52] Hijikata
Spare Togoro!
[18:53] Shin
Why are you giving up your life for a wart?!
[18:56] Katsura
To protect your child with your life...
[18:59] Katsura
Isn't thats how a true parent would behave?
[19:03] Katsura
Yet look at you.
[19:05] Katsura
You intend to die by yourself and leave us behind?
[19:09] Kondo
Wh-Who are you?
[19:10] Katsura
How cruel...
[19:13] Katsura
You don't remember who comforted you at the bar after your wife ran out on you?
[19:19] Kondo
A-Are you...
[19:22] Kondo
From the bar...
[19:23] Kondo
From the bar!
[19:24] Kondo
Zurako-san!
[19:25] Shin
How?!
[19:27] Shin
How did you give birth?!
[19:29] Katsura
You are a father now!
[19:31] Katsura
So for her sake, for my sake...
[19:35] Katsura
You must live!
[19:36] Shin
Aren't the two of you enemies?!
[19:38] Katsura
Look, it's your father,
[19:40] Katsura
Gorillina.
[19:40] Shin
He can't be the father!
[19:42] Shin
That's an actual gorilla there!
[19:44] Kyubei
Oh, her name is Gorillina?
[19:46] Kyubei
Such an adorable child.
[19:48] Kyubei
Would you mind letting me hold her?
[19:51] Katsura
Oh, she's a newborn, so her banana hasn't been peeled yet.
[19:54] Shin
No shit!
[19:56] Kyubei
My, such an adorable child.
[19:59] Kondo
But she's not as adorable as my little girl.
[20:02] Shin
Kyubei-san?!
[20:02] Kondo
Isn't that right,
[20:03] Kondo
Willina?
[20:04] Shin
The hell are you raising?!
[20:06] Shin
You've lost more than your mind!
[20:09] Kyubei
I don't need a wife or husband!
[20:11] Kyubei
I have become the ultimate creature who can be both mother and father!
[20:16] Kyubei
Have no fear!
[20:19] Kyubei
I will make these children happy!
[20:20] Hijikata
Togoro!
[20:21] Kondo
Gorillina!
[20:22] Katsura
Willina!
[20:23] Shin
Damn it!
[20:24] Shin
Cut this shit out!
[20:42] Shin
I knew something was wrong.
[20:44] Shin
Hijikata-san was also infected by a wart.
[20:48] Shin
Warts that are attracted to ambition...
[20:50] Shin
This was one hellish nightmare,
[20:53] Shin
but I learned a valuable lesson.
[20:56] Shin
The show is finally back on the air.
[20:59] Shin
I need to stay focused
[21:01] Shin
and aim as high as I can every week.
[21:05] Shin
Okay!
[21:06] Shin
It's all over!
[21:08] Shin
Starting next week, I'll need to get to work!
[21:10] Shin
Let's do this!
[21:12] Gin
No, it's not over yet.
[21:14] Shin
Huh?
[21:19] Gin
You're also a wart, Shinpachi.
[21:21] Shin
What?!
[21:24] Gin
Man, I was worried.
[21:26] Gin
Everyone looked different when the show came back on air.
[21:30] Gin
I had a hard time keeping up with everyone.
[21:32] Gin
Why was I the only one left out?
[21:34] Gin
Get a clue, you alien warts.
[21:36] Gin
But at this rate, it's going to get messy when we catch up to the manga and go on another break.
[21:40] Gin
These people are actually going to train themselves next time.
[21:43] Gin
Can't help it.
[21:45] Gin
When that happens...
[21:48] Gin
I'll go with this.
SIGN
SIGN
[23:20] Gin
Isn't it a little late for New Year cards?
[23:23] Gin
And why did everyone send one?!
[23:26] Gin
What a pain in the ass!
[23:28] Gin
So next time:
SIGN
[23:29] Gin
Use a calligraphy pen for New Year cards!
[23:31] Gin
Plus another one that's a little late.
SIGN
E204 - Use a Calligraphy Pen for New Year's Cards/The heart comes before chocolate
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:32] Gin
"I only received one New Year's card this year. From a beauty salon..."
[01:36] Gin
"I didn't receive a single one."
[01:39] Gin
If anyone out there says any of that crap in the classroom after winter break,
[01:43] Gin
starting next year, execute 'em!
[01:46] Gin
That joke is as old as New Year's cards and beauty salons.
[01:50] Gin
It's too much effort to pretend to brag about that shit.
[01:54] Gin
I'm sick of it!
[01:56] Gin
The practice of appearance for appearance's sake!
[01:57] Gin
Enough of this farce!
[01:59] Gin
Starting next year, execute every single person who sends a New Year's card!
[02:02] Gin
Is that your final answer?
[02:04] Shin
Yeah, yeah.
[02:05] Shin
Execute away next year.
[02:07] Shin
All by yourself.
[02:09] Kagura
Stop babbling like a kiddie.
[02:11] Kagura
Pen to the paper, pillar of society.
SIGN Use a Calligraphy Pen for New Year's cards
[02:18] Gin
Only received a card from a beauty salon?! Lame-o!
[02:21] Gin
Idiots!
[02:22] Gin
Why do people get so excited?!
[02:24] Gin
Happy, my ass!
[02:25] Gin
There's nothing to be happy about!
[02:27] Gin
This show follows the Sazae-san format.
We're stuck in the same year forever!
[02:31] Gin
It's a waste of time!
[02:32] Gin
And why are we doing New Year's cards now?
[02:34] Shin
We don't have a choice.
[02:36] Shin
The manga kept on rolling with seasonal material while we were on break.
[02:39] Kagura
A year's worth of joy, all at once.
[02:41] Shin
Look.
[02:41] Shin
We got a bunch of cards from our clients.
[02:44] Shin
If we maintain a friendly relationship with our clients,
[02:46] Shin
they might give us more work.
SIGN One hour later...
[02:51] Gin
There's no end in sight...
[02:53] Gin
By the time I finish writing all these hope-you-have-a-great-years,
[02:55] Gin
it'll already be next year.
[02:57] Gin
And why do you guys look like you're enjoying this?
[02:59] Shin
Huh?
[03:00] Shin
This isn't that bad.
[03:02] Shin
We get to catch up on what's happened.
[03:04] Gin
You mean when they talk about starting a new life together
[03:06] Gin
with a wedding picture attached?
SIGN Happy New Year
SIGN We are blessed to celebrate our first New Year's together.
SIGN I hope that I will be able to serve as your editor for a very long time.
SIGN New Year's Day 2010
SIGN Atsushi and Chihiro Nakasaki
[03:09] Gin
You shouldn't assume that other people will be happy about your happiness, fool.
[03:13] Shin
Uh....
[03:14] Shin
Wait, who is this?
[03:16] Gin
And some people are like,
SIGN Happy New Year
SIGN I appreciate everything
SIGN Kouhei Oonishi
[03:17] Gin
"We have a new member in the family!" with a picture of a baby.
[03:21] Gin
Don't make it sound like this just magically happened.
[03:23] Gin
Just write that you had a baby after ****ing like rabbits.
[03:25] Shin
Nobody's going to say that on a New Year's card!
[03:27] Shin
And who is this?
[03:28] Shin
Who are these people?!
[03:29] Gin
Also...
[03:30] Gin
Don't bother if you're feeling lazy.
[03:32] Gin
You'll end up hurting someone's feelings.
SIGN Weekly Shounen Jump wants to thank you.
SIGN Yuu Saitou
SIGN Manuscripts are more important than your health!! -Saitou
[03:34] Shin
This wasn't sent to you, was it?
[03:36] Shin
And those editors are seriously brutal!
[03:39] Shin
But I like how New Year's cards are short and concise, unlike letters.
[03:45] Shin
Oh, look.
[03:46] Shin
There's one from Sakamoto-san.
[03:48] Gin
From Tatsuma?
[03:49] Sakamoto
Last year's Taiga drama was about me.
[03:52] Gin
What kind of message is that?!
[03:54] Gin
He wants to fully exploit his brief surge in popularity!
[03:56] Gin
You're getting another year of spot appearances in the openings and endings!
[03:59] Shin
There's also one from Mutsu-san.
[04:01] Mutsu
Don't bother tearing this up.
[04:03] Kagura
I also received cards from the Kaientai.
[04:06] Gin
Why did they send cards to each of us?!
[04:08] Gin
That's so obnoxious!
[04:10] Gin
They're really dying for some screen time!
[04:11] Shin
Wait...
[04:12] Shin
There's a card from the Kiheitai!
[04:14] Gin
Huh?!
[04:14] Gin
From Takasugi?!
[04:15] Takasugi
Happy New Year.
[04:18] Takasugi
I'll be destroying everything again this year.
[04:20] Gin
No way...
[04:21] Gin
He sent a New Year's card?
[04:23] Gin
Isn't this more like a declaration of war?
[04:24] Kagura
It might be a death threat.
SIGN Matako Kijima, Bansai Kawakami, Henpeita Takechi
[04:27] All
The Kiheitai made an appearance in this year's Taiga drama.
[04:29] Gin
You too?!
[04:31] Gin
Does everybody want more screen time?!
[04:34] Shin
Oh, there's one from Katsura-san.
[04:37] Gin
What?
[04:38] Gin
Zura gets plenty of screen time.
[04:40] Katsura
I was on standby outside the entire time during the Santa episode.
[04:44] Gin
Like I give a damn!
[04:46] Kagura
He never had a chance to jump in since
there were so many characters around.
[04:51] Shin
He sent a whole bunch.
[04:52] Katsura
Has Lady Kyubei taken over the role of token hardhead?
[04:53] Katsura
I was on standby outside the entire time during the Santa episode.
[04:55] Katsura
You no longer need me with Lady Kyubei around?
[04:56] Katsura
I was on standby outside the entire time during the Santa episode.
[04:57] Gin
We already said that your characters don't overlap!
[04:57] Katsura
I was a character in this show before Lady Kyubei was.
[04:58] Gin
You're just a psychotic moron!
[05:01] Gin
Man, these people aren't taking this seriously.
[05:03] Gin
They make the silly Nakasaki couple look brilliant.
[05:07] Shin
Gin-san, someone else got married.
SIGN Gintoki and Ayame Sakata
[05:11] Sa
We got married!
[05:13] Sa
Guess I'm first, Otae.
[05:15] Gin
The hell is this?!
[05:17] Shin
It's no use, Gin-san.
[05:17] Shin
She sent a whole stack.
[05:19] Gin
That bitch has really done it now!
[05:22] Gin
Look at the shoddy picture!
[05:23] Gin
That's somebody else's body below my face!
[05:25] Kagura
Someone sent a card to congratulate you.
[05:28] Ketsuno
Congratulations!
[05:30] Ketsuno
Make sure you don't end up getting divorced.
[05:32] Gin
Ana Ketsuno!
[05:33] Gin
What has she done?!
[05:35] Kagura
Looks like she sent them everywhere.
SIGN Hinowa
[05:38] Hinowa
Happy New Year.
[05:39] Hinowa
And congratulations on your marriage.
[05:41] Hinowa
This news will make Tsukuyo sad.
[05:41] Tsukuyo
May you be happy together!
SIGN Seita
[05:43] Seita
Ever since Tsukuyo heard that Gin-san got married, she's been feeling down.
[05:46] Tsukuyo
May you be happy together!
SIGN Tsukyo
[05:48] Tsukuyo
I appreciate your help last year.
[05:49] Tsukuyo
Don't make your wife cry.
[05:51] Tsukuyo
May you be happy together.
[05:53] Shin
This is getting awkward...
[05:55] Shin
It's obvious that Tsukuyo-san edited their cards.
[05:58] Kagura
You also received one from the monkeys.
SIGN Doesn't he look just like Shinpachi-kun?
[06:01] Kondo
Congratulations!
[06:02] Kondo
I hope that our kids get to go to school together.
[06:04] Shin
How many steps did that stupid gorilla skip?!
[06:07] Shin
Just like me?!
[06:08] Shin
It is me!
[06:10] Gin
Whoa.
[06:11] Gin
He also sent his everywhere.
SIGN Strawberry milk
[06:14] Otsu
Thank you for all the supportapoop!
[06:16] Otsu
I hope that you and the gorilla are happy together.
[06:17] Shin
Otsu-chan!
[06:18] shin
She's got this totally wrong!
[06:20] Gin
Look.
[06:21] Gin
There's one from the Yagyu household.
[06:22] Kyubei
I'm going to murder the gorilla.
[06:23] Kyubei
I'm going to murder the gorilla!
[06:25] Kyubei
I'm going to murder Kondo!
[06:26] Shin
Wait!
[06:26] Shin
Kyubei-san's cards are the ones that need editing!
[06:29] Shin
Her murderous rage is plain to see!
[06:30] Kagura
Gin-chan, here's another one from Zura.
[06:33] Gin
Why?!
[06:33] Gin
Don't tell me that he's also lying about getting married...
[06:37] Katsura
I was on standby outside the entire time during the ceremony.
[06:40] Gin
The hell is he doing?!
[06:42] Gin
Is he obsessed with being on standby?!
[06:43] Gin
There was no ceremony!
[06:45] Gin
And even if there was, it would have been too late!
[06:47] Gin
Hey, let's deal with these pains in the ass later.
[06:50] Gin
Start by replying to the normal people.
[06:53] Shin
Do we know any normal people...?
[06:55] Shin
No way!
[06:56] Shin
This one's from Hijikata-san?
[06:57] Gin
Whoa.
[06:58] Gin
What's this about?
[07:00] Hijikata
I haven't seen Kondo-san in a week.
[07:03] Hijikata
Do you know anything?
[07:05] Shin
W-We don't know anything, right?
[07:07] Gin
We know nothing at all.
[07:08] Gin
No clue at all.
[07:10] Shin
L-Let's move on.
[07:12] Shin
Ah!
[07:13] Shin
This is from Zenzo-san.
[07:15] Zenzo
I need to talk with Sarutobi about a job,
[07:17] Zenzo
but I haven't been able to reach her for a week.
[07:19] Zenzo
Have you seen her around?
[07:24] Shin
The people who sent out fake wedding notices are disappearing one after another...
[07:29] Gin
It's not related.
[07:31] Gin
I mean, look at this.
SIGN Hatsu Hasegawa
[07:32] Hatsu
I can't reach my husband.
[07:34] Hatsu
I found some of my husband's belongings by the river.
[07:37] Hatsu
Do you know anything?
[07:39] Gin
Yeah?
[07:39] Gin
Hasegawa-san's missing and he wasn't involved in that crap.
[07:42] Gin
It's okay.
[07:43] Shin
It's not okay!
[07:44] Shin
He's missing for a completely different reason!
[07:47] Shin
I have a really bad feeling about this.
[07:49] Shin
Hasegawa-san aside,
[07:51] Shin
the other two must have gotten into some kind New-Year-card-related trouble.
[07:52] Gin
It's not related.
[07:53] Kagura
Oh, there's one from the boss lady.
[07:55] Otae
I am unable to wish you a happy new year in this time of mourning.
[07:59] Otae
In December, our pet gorilla and bitch passed away.
[08:03] Otae
This year will be...
[08:04] Gin
You had pets?
[08:06] Shin
We did.
[08:07] Kagura
I've never seen them before.
[08:09] Gin
There was that "I'm first, Otae" message.
[08:12] Gin
That must have pissed her off.
[08:14] Shin
P-Please don't tell anyone.
[08:16] Gin
Well, it's not exactly a secret.
[08:18] Okita
I haven't seen Kondo-san in a week.
[08:21] Okita
Do you know anything about someone's older sister killing him?
[08:25] Shin
How many older sisters are there in this show?!
[08:27] Gin
And look, there's one from Yamazaki.
[08:29] Shin
What?!
[08:29] Shin
Yamazaki-san?!
[08:30] Yamazaki
Anpan! Anpan! Anpan!
[08:31] Shin
What the hell happened to Yamazaki-san?!
[08:34] Kagura
Gin-chan, there's a really weird New Year's card.
[08:37] Kagura
From Gondo.
[08:39] Gin
Where the hell is Gondo?
[08:41] Gin
Do we know anyone there?
[08:43] Kagura
It's from someone called Mamyudapao.
[08:45] Gin
I'm 100% positive that we don't know this person!
[08:47] Gin
I'm 100% positive that this is a complete stranger!
[08:49] Kagura
Let me read it.
[08:51] Madao
My name is Mamudapao Hasegawa.
[08:54] Gin
It's just Hasegawa-san!
[08:55] Gin
How far did the river carry him?!
[08:58] Madao
When I came to this place,
[08:59] Madao
I could only remember the words Hasegawa and oldsocks.
[09:04] Gin
You've got it wrong!
[09:06] Gin
It's orthodox!
[09:08] Madao
Mamudapao was the name given to me by the Hingromaxon chief who found me.
[09:14] Madao
It means floating log,
[09:16] Madao
drifter,
[09:17] Madao
freeter,
[09:18] Madao
Nintendo,
[09:19] Madao
and sinking old man.
[09:20] Gin
There are too many meanings!
[09:22] Gin
The last one contradicts the first one!
[09:25] Madao
Mamudapao.
[09:26] Madao
Everyone calls me Madao for short.
[09:28] Gin
So they still call you Madao in the end!
[09:31] Madao
The people of the Hingromaxon tribe are very kind.
[09:35] Madao
They were willing to share their fruit with a complete stranger.
[09:39] Gin
They clearly hate you!
[09:41] Madao
I had no memories, but I was...
[09:45] Madao
...satisfied with my life here.
[09:46] Gin
This man is the definition of a masochist!
[09:49] Madao
I had a mission before I lost my memories.
[09:53] Madao
But I can't remember what it was.
[09:55] Madao
When I washed ashore, I was holding a piece of paper with some strange characters.
[10:00] Madao
Will they help unlock my memories?
[10:03] Madao
I showed the piece of paper to the chief,
[10:05] Madao
and he said that he'd seen something similar before.
[10:07] Madao
The Hingromaxon were engaged in a turf war with two other tribes.
[10:13] Madao
He'd seen the other chiefs with similar pieces of paper.
[10:18] Chief
They are also Madao, Mamudapao who
came ashore from a different world like you.
[10:24] Chief
They used their fearsome strength to rise to power
[10:28] Chief
and began to invade our sacred forest.
[10:31] Chief
They are monsters.
[10:33] Chief
Our tribe stands no chance against them.
[10:36] Chief
But Madao,
[10:37] Chief
since you also came from a different world...
[10:41] Madao
I may die.
[10:43] Madao
But if I choose to live without fulfilling my duty,
[10:49] Madao
I might as well be dead!
[10:52] Sa
Move it!
[10:53] Sa
Outta the way!
[10:54] Kondo
Don't interfere with our crusade!
[10:57] Madao
Stop this pointless war.
[10:59] Madao
We are all children of this planet.
[11:01] Madao
One big family.
[11:03] Sa
Don't lump me in with you wretches!
[11:05] Kondo
Our tribe is meant to rule the sacred forest!
[11:09] Madao
No.
[11:10] Madao
I'm sure that we share the same purpose.
[11:13] Kondo
That's...
[11:15] Kondo
I've always wondered who I was...
[11:17] Sa
Wondered what I was meant to do...
[11:19] Kondo
For a very long time...
[11:21] Sa
Ever since I was wrapped up in a mat and washed away...
[11:25] All
I always thought I was alone...
[11:28] Madao
The next thing I knew, the three of us were holding each other in tears.
[11:33] Madao
And without a word, we each took out our pieces of paper.
[11:37] Madao
They were completely different and couldn't be pieced together,
[11:41] Madao
but our fragmented memories were united.
[11:44] A
Chief, what about the crusade?
[11:46] Kondo
I don't have time for that nonsense.
[11:49] B
What are you going to do then?
[11:51] Sa
That should be obvious.
[11:54] Madao
Let's write a New Year's card together.
[11:57] All
Happy New Year!
[11:59] All
We have new members in the family!
[12:06] Shin
Gin-san, there's also this...
[12:10] Katsura
I was on standby on a raft to Gondo,
SIGN Kotaro Katsura
[12:13] Katsura
but I ended up in Rhone.
[12:17] Kagura
Gin-chan, how should we respond?
SIGN The Gintama anime wasn't able to ride the Ryomaden wave.
[12:20] Gin
Make copies of this to send to everyone.
[12:26] Gin
"I only received one chocolate this year. From my mom..."
[12:30] Gin
"I win. I got two. Including my sister..."
[12:35] Gin
If anyone out there starts gloating the day after Valentine's,
[12:39] Gin
starting next year, execute 'em.
[12:41] Gin
That joke is as old as chocolate and moms.
[12:47] Gin
Cut the crap.
[12:48] Gin
Don't put on airs by joking around to show that you don't care!
[12:51] Gin
I'm sick of it!
[12:52] Gin
The practice of passing chocolate around like idiots!
[12:58] Gin
Enough of this farce!
[12:59] Gin
Starting next year,
[13:01] Gin
execute every single person who gives or receives chocolate!
[13:03] Gin
Is that your final answer?
[13:05] Shin
That's my final answer!
[13:09] Gin
Final answer, my ass!
[13:11] Gin
Somebody bring me some chocolate!
[13:13] Gin
This makes no sense at all!
[13:14] Gin
Everything was the same as the first half!
[13:17] Gin
There was a stack of New Year's cards after the scene change!
[13:19] Gin
So why isn't there any chocolate here?!
[13:21] Gin
I want chocolate!
[13:22] Gin
No need for love!
[13:24] Gin
Just give me sugar!
[13:27] Shin
I want love and that's my final answer!
[13:30] Shin
Wait, can I ask the audience?
[13:32] Gin
You can spend the rest of your life on the phone with Regis.
[13:38] Otae
Sorry about making you come with me.
[13:41] Kagura
I've heard that Valentine's is when girls give chocolate to the people they like.
[13:44] Kagura
Does that mean you like a whole bunch of people?
[13:47] Otae
These are just for passing out to our customers.
[13:50] Otae
As for the people I like...
[13:51] Otae
Here.
[13:53] Kagura
Boss lady!
[13:54] Kagura
I love you lots!
[13:57] Kagura
But I don't have any chocolate for you.
[13:59] Otae
It's okay.
[14:00] Otae
You should find a nice man to give your chocolate to.
[14:03] Kagura
But there's nobody.
[14:05] Otae
You could give chocolate to Gin-san and Shin-chan this time.
[14:08] Kagura
What? Forget it.
[14:09] Kagura
I don't really like those morons.
[14:12] Kagura
They'll probably gripe about not wanting any chocolate from a little brat.
[14:15] Otae
That's not true.
[14:17] Otae
I'm sure they'll be surprised, even thrilled, if you give them chocolate.
[14:22] Kagura
They don't need me when people like Sa-chan will give them some.
[14:26] Kagura
Thanks for the chocolate.
[14:27] Otae
Ah, Kagura-chan.
[14:45] Gin
Hey, why are you so fidgety, Kagura?
[14:49] Kagura
I-I'm not!
[14:51] Gin
Don't tell me that...
[14:56] Gin
...you need to poop?
[14:58] Gin
Move it then.
[14:59] Gin
Constipation is bad for beauty.
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[15:07] Seita
Ka-Kagura-chan!
[15:09] Seita
Is this what I think it is?!
[15:11] Kagura
Chocolate.
[15:11] Seita
R-Really?!
[15:13] Seita
Mom!
[15:14] Seita
She gave me chocolate!
[15:17] Hinowa
Thank you for being so thoughtful.
[15:19] Kagura
It's nothing.
[15:21] Seita
This doesn't have boogers or anything inside, right?
[15:23] Seita
It's safe to eat?
[15:24] Kagura
It's obviously safe. Want me to kill you?
[15:26] Hinowa
You're much more chic than I thought.
[15:30] Hinowa
You have the potential to become a courtesan.
[15:32] Kagura
Really?
[15:33] Kagura
Then I should quit working at that dump and move here.
[15:37] Seita
Hey, can I eat this?
[15:39] Seita
I see sesame seeds for some reason.
[15:41] Tsukuyo
Don't touch those.
[15:43] Tsukuyo
Boogers can make you sick.
[15:46] Kagura
Enough already!
[15:47] Kagura
Do you people think I'm some kind of monster?!
[15:50] Tsukuyo
Hinowa, I'm heading out for a bit.
[15:52] Kagura
Hey, wait!
[15:54] Kagura
Give that back!
[15:55] Tsukuyo
Excuse me.
[15:57] Tsukuyo
I'd like to buy that big chocolate heart.
[15:59] Man
Sure thing.
[16:00] Kagura
Hey, what are you doing, Tsu-ki?
[16:03] Tsukuyo
Hinowa actually told me to give you guys chocolate from Yoshiwara.
[16:09] Tsukuyo
Can you take care of that for me?
[16:11] Tsukuyo
It'll be easier for you to hand yours over with mine.
[16:15] Kagura
Tsu-ki!
[16:16] Kagura
You're so sharp!
[16:18] Kagura
Completely different from that clueless numbskull with wavy hair!
[16:20] Kagura
But, I'd really appreciate it if you would come with me.
[16:24] Tsukuyo
I-I can't help you there.
[16:25] Kagura
Why? You also think it's embarrassing?
[16:27] Tsukuyo
Wh-Why would I be embarrassed?!
[16:30] Tsukuyo
I don't give a damn about Valentine's.
[16:33] Tsukuyo
I only bought this chocolate because I was ordered to, not because I wanted to...
[16:36] Kagura
You look embarrassed.
[16:37] Man
Sorry to keep you waiting.
[16:38] Kagura
Well, I understand.
[16:40] Kagura
I'll let them know how you feel.
SIGN From Tsu-ki with love
SIGN To Odd Jobs
[16:42] Tsukuyo
What do you think you're doing?!
[16:45] Man
Well, she kept calling you Tsu-ki,
[16:48] Man
so I decided to add a little something special.
[16:48] Tsukuyo
You're not helping!
[16:50] Tsukuyo
Say that it's from everyone in Yoshiwara!
[16:52] Man
I apologize.
[16:52] Man
I'll get that fixed real quick,
[16:53] Man
so please wait, Tsu-ki.
[16:55] Tsukuyo
Why are you calling me Tsu-ki?!
[16:57] Tsukuyo
Hey, I'm starting to get worried,
[17:00] Tsukuyo
so mind if I tag along?
[17:02] Kagura
Yay!
[17:03] Woman
Um, would you like to try some while you're waiting?
[17:07] Tsukuyo
Man, everybody loves to make assumptions.
[17:11] Kagura
That looks good.
[17:13] Kagura
Can I try one?
[17:14] Woman
Sorry.
[17:16] Woman
These are whiskey bonbons,
[17:17] Woman
and you're still too young.
[17:23] Gin
We're not interested in a newspaper subscription.
[17:25] Tsukuyo
Excuse me, is Gintoki-kun here?
[17:28] Tsukuyo
Gosh, I went and opened my mouth!
[17:30] Tsukuyo
Oh, dear.
[17:31] Tsukuyo
My heart is pounding...
[17:33] Tsukuyo
This is too much for me.
[17:34] Tsukuyo
It's too embarrassing...
[17:37] Tsukuyo
In your dreams, sucker!
[17:43] Sa
You want us to hand over our chocolate together?
[17:46] Kagura
Yeah, I've tried a couple times and failed.
[17:49] Sa
Don't be a fool?
[17:50] Sa
Why would we confess our feelings as a group?
[17:52] Sa
Are we still in middle school?
[17:53] Kagura
We're just going to give them chocolate.
[17:55] Kagura
But I'm having trouble because it's so embarrassing.
[17:58] Kagura
I need help from an insensitive woman like you.
[18:01] Sa
I've never been so insulted while being asked for a favor.
[18:04] Sa
Besides!
[18:06] Sa
Tsu-ki, how could you let this happen?
[18:08] Sa
Is that the power of 10th place?
[18:09] Sa
Is that what it takes to place 10th?
[18:11] Tsukuyo
You're still upset about that?
[18:13] Sa
I would never choose to help a rival,
[18:15] Sa
but you girls are so pathetic that there's no threat at all.
[18:20] Sa
First, strip naked and coat yourself in this chocolate.
[18:24] Sa
That's where it all begins.
[18:26] Tsukuyo
That's where it all begins?
[18:27] Tsukuyo
More like that's where it all ends.
[18:29] Sa
Lose the innocent girl act!
[18:30] Sa
Don't you realize that I'm telling you to stop feeling ashamed?!
[18:33] Tsukuyo
I'm willing to stop feeling ashamed,
[18:33] Tsukuyo
but I won't stop behaving like a proper human being.
[18:36] Sa
What?!
[18:37] Sa
Don't you know that Cleopatra got naked
[18:39] Sa
and lotioned herself up inside a rolled-up rug for the sake of seducing the king?!
[18:43] Tsukuyo
We aren't trying to seduce anyone!
[18:45] Tsukuyo
We just want to give them chocolate!
[18:49] Sa
Fine.
[18:50] Sa
We'll do this the normal way.
[18:52] Sa
Honestly, you're so dull.
[18:55] Sa
Then I'll press the doorbell...
[18:59] Sa
Um...
[19:00] Sa
Why are you lined up behind me?
[19:03] Sa
How shy are you?!
[19:04] Sa
Can you stop that?!
[19:06] Sa
You're making me nervous!
[19:08] Sa
I'm going to press the doorbell now.
[19:09] Sa
Are you ready?
[19:15] Kagura
Sa-chan!
[19:17] Tsukuyo
Hey! What was that?!
[19:18] Sa
Actually...
[19:20] Sa
Now that I think about it...
[19:21] Sa
I've never tried doing it the normal way,
[19:24] Sa
so I don't know what to say.
[19:26] Tsukuyo
Didn't you just lecture me about Cleopatra?!
[19:29] Sa
Sorry! I can't do it!
[19:30] Sa
You go, Tsu-ki!
[19:31] Sa
I feel so embarrassed!
[19:32] Tsukuyo
It's too late for that now!
[19:33] Tsukuyo
Kagura, you go.
[19:35] Tsukuyo
Isn't this your home?
[19:35] Kagura
Hey!
[19:36] Kagura
Why do you think I brought you with me?!
[19:39] Shin
Where did Kagura-chan go?
[19:43] Gin
She ran off somewhere to take a dump.
[19:47] Gin
Huh?
[19:48] Gin
Wasn't there someone here?
[19:49] Shin
No, nobody's here.
[19:54] Shin
Was this can here earlier?
[19:56] Shin
Whatever.
[20:07] Tsukuyo
Um, I'd appreciate it if you left this in front of Odd Jobs when you get a chance.
[20:13] Tsukuyo
Sorry that I wasn't any help.
[20:16] Sa
I appreciate it!
SIGN To Gin-chan and Shinpachi --Kagura
[20:33] Otae
I'm sorry.
[20:35] Otae
I suppose I shouldn't have said anything.
[20:38] Kagura
Nah.
[20:40] Kagura
It was fun to do girly stuff with them.
[20:44] Kagura
Though it's not very me.
[20:47] Kagura
It's better this way.
[20:48] Otae
Kagura-chan...
[20:50] Otae
You could have asked me to come along.
[20:53] Otae
I have some extra chocolate for them.
[20:55] Otae
But if you aren't going to give them yours, I won't either.
[20:58] Kagura
It's okay.
[20:59] Kagura
I'll give them yours with the other ones.
[21:02] Otae
But what about you?
[21:04] Kagura
It's okay.
[21:08] Kagura
I don't need to use chocolate
[21:10] Kagura
to show off my planet-sized love!
[21:17] Kagura
Right?
[21:20] Otae
That's right.
[21:23] A
Counting the ones that don't count, I got three...
[21:28] Gin
We didn't get a single one this year.
[21:31] Shin
That's my final answer.
[21:35] Kagura
There were three outside the door.
[21:38] Kagura
Isn't that nice?
[21:40] Shin
Huh?! What?!
[21:41] Shin
No way!
[21:41] Shin
From who?!
[21:42] Shin
For who?!
SIGN Sugar Content
[21:43] Gin
Get your grubby paws off them!
[21:44] Gin
They're obviously for me!
SIGN For Gin-san and Four-Eyes
SIGN From Kagura
SIGN From Kagura with love
SIGN To Gintoki and Shinpachi
SIGN I love Gin-chan and Shinpachi
Kagura
[21:52] Gin
Shinpachi...
[21:54] Gin
We got four this year.
[21:57] Shin
That's my final answer.
SIGN The Heart Comes Before Chocolate
SIGN Next Episode
SIGN Meals Should Be Balanced
[23:30] Yamazaki
Sorry about the confusion.
[23:31] Yamazaki
After next week, you'll finally understand all the fuss about anpan.
E205 - Meals Should Be Balanced
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:33] Sachi
Oh, sorry.
[01:35] Yamazaki
No, I wasn't paying attention either.
[01:36] Sachi
Your bag...
[01:38] Sachi
I'm so sorry.
[01:39] Sachi
Were there any eggs inside?
[01:41] Yamazaki
It's okay.
[01:42] Yamazaki
There wasn't anything important inside.
[01:44] Yamazaki
Really, don't worry about it.
[01:46] Yamazaki
Bye.
[01:46] Sachi
Ah, please wait!
[01:49] Sachi
You forgot this.
[01:50] Yamazaki
Oh, thank you.
[01:53] Sachi
So...
[01:55] Sachi
Do you like anpan?
SIGN Meals Should Be Balanced
[02:06] Yamazaki
I don't.
[02:08] Yamazaki
Anpan and milk.
[02:10] Yamazaki
This is how I run a stakeout.
[02:12] Yamazaki
I don't eat anything else until it's over.
[02:16] Yamazaki
Basically, it's an offering to the gods.
[02:19] Yamazaki
I personally can't stand it, but the god of stakeouts is a big fan, so that's that.
[02:22] Yamazaki
A truth that has been shown in police dramas around the world.
[02:26] Yamazaki
For the success of this stakeout,
[02:28] Yamazaki
I must suppress my desire to eat curry, katsudon, and yakiniku,
[02:32] Yamazaki
and munch on anpan instead.
[02:34] Hijikata
You're not supposed to come into contact with the target.
[02:38] Hijikata
And you're supposed to be an inspector?
[02:40] Yamazaki
Do you realize how weird it is to stake out a stakeout?
[02:44] Yamazaki
You should have volunteered if you have nothing better to do.
[02:47] Hijikata
Don't get so upset.
[02:49] Hijikata
I see that you're only eating anpan again.
[02:51] Hijikata
You can be superstitious if you want,
[02:54] Hijikata
but you won't last long if you aren't eating right.
[02:56] Ramen
Sorry about the wait.
[02:58] Hijikata
Oh, thanks.
[03:00] Yamazaki
Don't even bother, Vice Chief.
[03:02] Yamazaki
I don't need ramen!
[03:04] Yamazaki
Well, if you insist, I suppose I don't have a choice.
[03:08] Yamazaki
An order from you is absolute.
[03:11] Hijikata
Huh? What'd you say?
[03:13] Yamazaki
Nothing.
[03:15] Hijikata
So how would you describe this Sachi Narasaki?
[03:19] Yamazaki
She seems to be a nice person,
[03:21] Yamazaki
going by the five days I've been watching her.
[03:24] Yamazaki
I find it hard to believe that she's the older sister of a brutal Joi terrorist.
[03:28] Hijikata
Oh?
[03:29] Hijikata
If you look at Sogo,
[03:30] Hijikata
one sibling tends to be more responsible when the other is anything but.
[03:34] Yamazaki
Vice Chief, you're a little too close...
[03:37] Yamazaki
And what about Donbei?
[03:39] Hijikata
He's been running around like crazy.
[03:43] Hijikata
Apparently, he stole money from his fellow terrorists.
[03:45] Hijikata
They're trying to chase him down.
[03:48] Hijikata
His only option is to run to his sister.
[03:50] Yamazaki
I can't say that I like the idea of using his sister as bait.
[03:55] Hijikata
Do you like the idea of letting her brother run wild?
[04:00] Hijikata
Besides, what if the Joi who are chasing Donbei decide to use her as bait...
[04:09] Hijikata
We'll use his sister as bait to wipe them all out.
[04:13] Hijikata
Leave the dirty work to us.
[04:15] Hijikata
Yamazaki, I'm giving you a different mission.
[04:18] Hijikata
Protect the girl.
[04:21] Yamazaki
Sagaru Yamazaki's Observation Report:
SIGN Week 1 of Living on Anpan
[04:23] Yamazaki
I've been living on anpan for an entire week now.
[04:26] Yamazaki
What I'd give for a bowl of miso soup.
[04:29] Yamazaki
The girl hasn't made a move yet.
[04:32] Yamazaki
Sachi Narasaki.
[04:33] Yamazaki
Owner of the bar Nonbei.
[04:35] Yamazaki
The story is that she's a dutiful daughter
[04:38] Yamazaki
who's been running her father's business by herself since he died four years ago.
[04:41] Yamazaki
On the other hand, her brother Donbei is notorious for being a nasty villain.
[04:47] Yamazaki
He regularly came to his sister for money after she took over the bar.
[04:52] Yamazaki
A dutiful daughter under duress,
[04:54] Yamazaki
the younger brother who continues to put her in danger,
[04:57] Yamazaki
and the terrorists who are after them.
[05:00] Yamazaki
My mission is to monitor the Joi terrorists,
[05:04] Yamazaki
while protecting the girl.
[05:05] Yamazaki
I, Sagaru Yamazaki, Shinsengumi inspector, vow to protect her!
[05:09] Yamazaki
And with my newfound determination, I once again munch on anpan.
[05:14] Yamazaki
Day 8 of living on anpan.
[05:17] Yamazaki
When I went to the supermarket yesterday,
[05:19] Yamazaki
I could hear people whispering, "Anpanman is here! No kidding!" in the back,
SIGN Nonbei
[05:22] Yamazaki
but the girl hasn't made a move yet.
[05:24] Yamazaki
Her customers are all regulars.
[05:27] Yamazaki
Every day is the same.
[05:29] Yamazaki
I can only hope that her peaceful life lasts forever.
[05:33] Yamazaki
As I begin to forget my purpose here,
[05:36] Yamazaki
I once again munch on anpan.
[05:39] Yamazaki
Day 12 of living on anpan.
[05:42] Yamazaki
I've just realized that it's been days since I've talked to anyone.
[05:44] Yamazaki
The last words I spoke were, "No, put it in one bag," three days ago,
[05:49] Yamazaki
but the girl hasn't made a move yet.
[05:52] Yamazaki
For a moment, I almost thought that she was looking at me,
SIGN Nonbei
[05:55] Yamazaki
but it must have been my imagination.
[05:56] Yamazaki
As I try to pull myself together,
[05:58] Yamazaki
I once again munch on anpan.
[06:00] Yamazaki
But I could only finish half of it.
[06:02] Yamazaki
Day 15 of living on anpan.
[06:05] Yamazaki
When I went to the convenience store,
[06:06] Yamazaki
people started whispering, "The in-one-bag guy is here!"
[06:08] Yamazaki
"He's gonna buy anpan and milk!"
[06:10] Yamazaki
"In one bag!" and stuff,
SIGN Nonbei
[06:12] Yamazaki
but the girl hasn't made a move yet.
[06:15] Yamazaki
What do I do if nothing happens?
[06:18] Yamazaki
As I attempt to ignore those doubts,
[06:20] Yamazaki
I once again munch on anpan.
[06:22] Yamazaki
And then I throw it all up.
[06:25] Yamazaki
Day 20 of living on anpan.
[06:27] Yamazaki
It's been so long since I last spoke that I was wondering if my voice still worked,
[06:31] Yamazaki
so I screamed at the top of my lungs and the guy next door replied,
[06:33] Guy
"Shut up!"
[06:34] Yamazaki
while banging on the wall, which had me jumping up and down with joy
[06:36] Yamazaki
over the fact that I actually held a conversation,
[06:38] Yamazaki
but the girl still hasn't made a move yet.
[06:40] Yamazaki
She just smiles day after day.
[06:44] Yamazaki
There are more exciting ways to live.
[06:48] Yamazaki
Such as harboring a fugitive younger brother.
[06:52] Yamazaki
And with that thought, I once again...
[06:56] Yamazaki
...smash anpan against the wall.
[06:58] Yamazaki
Day 22 of living on anpan.
[07:00] Yamazaki
Give me a break already.
[07:02] Yamazaki
When is her younger brother going to show up?
[07:04] Yamazaki
When will I be released from this anpan curse?
[07:06] Guy
Shut up!
[07:07] Yamazaki
Hurry, younger brother!
[07:10] Yamazaki
Save me from the endless anpan!
[07:13] Yamazaki
As I make that wish from the bottom of my heart,
[07:16] Yamazaki
I sparking the anpan into the sky!
[07:19] Yamazaki
Day 23 of living on anpan.
[07:21] Yamazaki
I sparking the anpan into the supermarket clerk!
[07:23] Yamazaki
Day 24 of living on anpan.
[07:25] Yamazaki
I sparking the anpan into the convenience store clerk!
[07:27] Yamazaki
Day 25 of living on anpan.
[07:28] Yamazaki
I sparking the anpan into the vice chief!
[07:31] Yamazaki
Day 28 of living on anpan.
[07:34] Yamazaki
I wake up and discover that I have no memory of the past few days.
[07:37] Yamazaki
However, despite all the change I've gone through,
[07:39] Yamazaki
the girl hasn't made a move yet.
[07:41] Yamazaki
Like always, she scatters anpan on the road,
SIGN Anpan
[07:44] Yamazaki
and puts the anpan above the entrance.
[07:45] Yamazaki
And then at anpan-night,
[07:47] Yamazaki
she anpans the anpan and anpans.
[07:49] Yamazaki
Anpanning the anpan to anpan the anpan and anpanny anpan, anpan, anpan...
SIGN Day 30 of Living on Anpan
SIGN ANPAN
[08:05] Yamazaki
Day 31 of living on anpan.
[08:08] Yamazaki
When I woke up, I was standing in an unfamiliar place, covered in anko.
[08:13] Yamazaki
Who gives a damn about the mission or the girl?!
[08:16] Yamazaki
I refuse to take another bite of anpan!
[08:21] Yamazaki
I couldn't take it anymore.
[08:23] Yamazaki
I no longer cared.
[08:24] Yamazaki
I headed back to the room to pack up and leave.
[08:29] Yamazaki
But there I found...
[08:32] Sachi
I didn't realize we were neighbors.
[08:35] Sachi
You'll ruin your health if you only eat anpan.
[08:37] Sachi
Here are some leftover meat and potatoes if you don't mind.
[08:40] Sachi
Thank you for watching over me.
[08:43] Sachi
From Nonbei.
[08:46] Yamazaki
The tears wouldn't stop...
[08:49] Yamazaki
I don't know when she realized I was watching her.
[08:52] Yamazaki
I don't know how much she actually knew.
[08:55] Yamazaki
One thing was clear...
[08:57] Yamazaki
I wasn't worthy of her gratitude.
[09:00] Yamazaki
Since I was ready to abandon her because of my stupid superstition...
[09:08] Yamazaki
That day, I turned against the god of stakeouts.
SIGN Greater Edo Hospital
[09:14] Yamazaki
Day 3 of meat and potatoes.
[09:16] Yamazaki
I woke up...
[09:18] Yamazaki
...to find myself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling.
[09:21] Yamazaki
And the vice chief with a disgusted look on his face.
[09:24] Yamazaki
Vice Chief, where am I?
[09:26] Hijikata
The hospital.
[09:27] Yamazaki
Huh?
[09:28] Yamazaki
What happened to me?
[09:29] Yamazaki
What about Sachi-san? Her brother?
[09:31] Yamazaki
What happened to them?
[09:32] Hijikata
They got away.
[09:34] Yamazaki
What?
[09:35] Hijikata
They took the money and ran.
[09:37] Hijikata
Yamazaki...
[09:39] Hijikata
We were tricked by the girl.
[09:42] Yamazaki
The siblings were working together to steal money from the Joi.
[09:46] Yamazaki
The sister noticed my presence immediately,
[09:49] Yamazaki
so she spent an entire month acting to fool me.
[09:52] Yamazaki
And once I fell apart,
[09:55] Yamazaki
she used the pretense of kindness to poison me.
[09:58] Hijikata
Women are damn scary.
[10:01] Hijikata
Hiding under layer after layer of makeup.
[10:04] Hijikata
Do we ever get a chance to see their real faces?
[10:07] Hijikata
Well, she still served as the perfect bait.
[10:10] Hijikata
We rounded up all the ruffians who were trailing her.
[10:14] Hijikata
That more than makes up for the two who got away.
[10:18] Hijikata
We were able to freely move around because you were there.
[10:22] Ramen
Sorry about the wait.
[10:27] Hijikata
Yamazaki, you did a good job.
[10:31] Yamazaki
Vice Chief, this isn't like you.
[10:35] Yamazaki
Are you trying to make me feel better?
[10:38] Yamazaki
It's not like I'm depressed or anything.
[10:40] Yamazaki
I'm used to being fooled by women and failing missions.
[10:45] Yamazaki
But I was hoping that...
[10:48] Yamazaki
...I could at least lose on my own terms.
[10:51] Hijikata
I guess that you aren't in the mood for ramen.
[10:56] Yamazaki
Can I ask for a favor?
[10:59] Donbei
It really worked, Sis.
[11:02] Donbei
We have enough money to fool around for a while.
[11:06] Donbei
What are you going to spend it on?
[11:07] Sachi
You're such an idiot.
[11:08] Sachi
Money isn't meant for fooling around.
[11:10] Sachi
Money is used to earn more money.
[11:13] Donbei
Come on...
[11:14] Donbei
What's wrong, Sis?
[11:15] Sachi
Well, I had a feeling that someone was watching us...
[11:19] Donbei
Please...
[11:19] Donbei
Are your senses shot after spending all that time with that Shinsengumi failure?
[11:25] Yamazaki
Oh, sorry.
[11:27] Donbei
Watch where you're going, fool!
[11:29] Donbei
Are you okay, Sis?
[11:30] Yamazaki
I'm so sorry.
[11:31] Yamazaki
I'm in a hurry to get to the festival.
SIGN Anpan
[11:33] Donbei
Festival?
[11:33] Donbei
Where is this festival, eh?
[11:37] Yamazaki
Right here. The Yamazaki Spring Bread Festival.
[11:48] Yamazaki
Day 63 of the Yamazaki Bread Festival.
[11:51] Sachi
Y-You really like anpan, huh...
[11:57] Yamazaki
I don't.
[11:59] Yamazaki
And so, I once again munch on anpan.
[12:04] Otae
Sure.
[12:06] Otae
I happen to be a fan of baseball.
[12:09] Otae
I'd be happy to accompany you.
[12:11] Kondo
I knew it...
[12:13] Kondo
You don't want to come with me.
[12:14] Otae
Um, I said that I'd be happy to accompany you.
[12:17] Kondo
Of course...
[12:18] Kondo
Happy to accompany me...
[12:21] Kondo
Happy?
[12:22] Kondo
Huh? What'd you just say?
[12:23] Otae
I said that I'd be happy to watch the baseball game with you.
[12:26] Kondo
Ho... Ho...
[12:28] Kondo
Home run!
[12:31] Otae
Um, you destroyed the tickets.
SIGN We Are All Warriors in the Battle Against Fate
[12:39] Kondo
A true man isn't measured by high education, high income, or height.
[12:43] Kondo
The three Hs mean nothing.
[12:45] Kondo
The only H you need is the H for the hair on your ass.
[12:48] Kondo
One ass hair and constant persistence is all it takes to penetrate that giant wall.
[12:54] Kondo
Well, you girly men probably wouldn't understand.
[12:58] Okita
He's not really girly, he just eats shit.
[13:01] Hijikata
Shut your trap, you sick bastard.
[13:02] Okita
This must be a trap.
[13:04] Okita
As a fellow sadist, I can guess what's in her mind.
[13:07] Kondo
Shut up!
[13:08] Kondo
Don't let jealousy cloud your judgment, Benny, 'kay?
[13:10] Okita
BENNIE K?
[13:11] Okita
I don't listen to them.
[13:12] Kondo
The rain dripping from the roof can carve a hole in stone after enough time!
[13:16] Kondo
My relentless rain of love has finally spread open her tightly shut legs!
[13:22] Hijikata
Your metaphors are too obscene.
[13:25] Kondo
Did she say anything else?
[13:28] Kondo
No.
[13:28] Kondo
She'll be waiting in front of the station at one on Sunday.
[13:32] Kondo
And she told me to stop following her around after this.
[13:35] Kondo
And to never visit her business again.
[13:37] Kondo
Well, we'll be in a relationship now.
[13:39] Kondo
So that won't be needed anymore.
[13:41] Okita
Isn't she telling you to completely forget about her after indulging you one last time?
[13:46] Kondo
Shut up! 'Kay, Hayashiya?
[13:48] Okita
His name is Pei Hayashiya.
[13:50] Kondo
If this is the last time, I won't get another chance!
[13:53] Kondo
I will make her mine!
[13:55] Kondo
I'll hit a walk-off home run and lead Otae-san back to the bench!
[14:03] Hijikata
We're right in the path of the typhoon.
[14:05] Hijikata
She's not gonna show.
[14:07] Okita
Guess you're out of luck.
[14:09] Kondo
It's a little early,
[14:11] Kondo
but a gentleman is supposed to arrive early and wait for the lady.
[14:15] Hijikata
Kondo-san...
[14:17] Kondo
Don't worry.
[14:18] Kondo
The weather will improve.
[14:20] Kondo
Whether it's raining cats or dogs or spears,
[14:22] Kondo
my rain of love will never falter!
[14:27] Okita
There's something lodged in your arm.
[14:30] Kondo
Huh?!
[14:31] A
It's terrible!
[14:32] A
A cargo plane is on fire!
[14:34] A
Part of its load is falling towards Edo!
[14:36] Hijikata
Oh.
[14:36] Hijikata
Don't worry about it.
[14:37] Hijikata
It's gonna drop right here.
[14:40] Kondo
It really is raining spears!
[14:41] Kondo
How bad is my luck?!
[14:46] Kondo
I'm like a sponge for bad luck!
[14:49] Kondo
The tickets!
[14:50] Kondo
Wait!
[14:53] Driver
It's not safe to run out into the street!
[14:55] Kondo
S-Sorry...
[14:57] Kondo
I'm fine.
[14:58] Driver
Uh, you're bleeding.
[15:00] Kondo
I haven't even made it fifty meters,
[15:03] Kondo
and I've already experienced fifty years worth of bad luck.
[15:05] Kondo
Damn it, I'm going on this date!
[15:08] Kondo
First, I need the tickets...
[15:10] Yo
Check it out.
[15:11] Yo
Aren't these tickets for the game today?
[15:13] A
Awesome!
[15:14] A
We don't have enough to play baseball because of the typhoon.
[15:16] A
Let's go watch the game!
[15:17] Kondo
Excuse me, kids.
[15:19] Kondo
Could you let me see those tickets?
[15:21] Yo
What do you want, old timer?
[15:22] Yo
Huh?
[15:23] Yo
Whoa, you're covered in blood!
[15:25] Kondo
Actually, I just dropped my tickets.
[15:28] Kondo
They're probably the ones you're holding.
[15:30] Kondo
Could you return them?
[15:32] Yo
What?
[15:33] A
You got any proof?
[15:34] Kondo
Okay.
[15:35] Kondo
Then I'll give you something better in return.
[15:38] Kondo
Is there anything you want?
[15:40] Yo
Hm, we have nothing to do because of the typhoon.
[15:43] Yo
Play baseball with us in the gym!
[15:45] Kondo
S-Sure thing.
[15:47] Kondo
I still have time.
[15:49] Kondo
And it's just a bunch of kids.
[15:55] A
Kagura's pitches are always so thrilling!
[15:58] Yo
Old timer!
[15:59] Yo
The catcher is supposed to catch the ball!
[16:01] Kondo
R-Right...
[16:03] Kondo
I-I need to get going soon...
[16:05] A
What's that?!
[16:06] A
Don't you want these tickets?
[16:08] Kondo
Okay!
[16:09] Kondo
Let me throw the ball next.
[16:11] Kondo
Anything but battery mates with the China girl.
[16:14] Kondo
Okay.
[16:15] Kondo
Here it comes.
[16:16] Yo
See ya, old timer!
[16:21] Yo
Let's do this again sometime!
SIGN Beetle King - Throwaway Matches Kind of serious contest! There will be kind of serious battles now!
[16:23] A
Let us know which match was obviously thrown!
[16:26] Kondo
This isn't just bad luck!
[16:29] Kondo
I'm bruised all over, and it was just a waste of time?!
[16:33] Kondo
Some invisible, evil force is actively interfering with my love!
[16:36] Kagura
Oh, you found something nice there.
[16:39] Kagura
You should go with your brother.
[16:41] Kagura
Doesn't he like baseball?
[16:42] Sachiko
I don't know if he'll come.
[16:45] Sachiko
He hasn't left his room ever since...
[16:47] Kondo
Wait!
[16:48] Kondo
Where did you find those tickets, China girl?!
[16:49] Kagura
I didn't find them.
[16:50] Kagura
Sachiko-chan did.
[16:51] Kondo
Sachiko-chan!
[16:52] Kondo
Those belong to me!
[16:53] Kondo
I'll be in a lot of trouble without them!
[16:56] Sachiko
Really?
[16:58] Sachiko
I thought they were a gift from God.
[17:02] Sachiko
It's too bad.
[17:03] Sachiko
Make sure you don't drop them again.
[17:06] Kondo
Th-Thank you...
[17:07] Kagura
Are you sure?
[17:08] Kagura
This could be a chance to get your brother to go outside!
[17:11] Sachiko
Ah, it's okay.
[17:13] Sachiko
Anything baseball would be like salt on an old wound.
[17:17] Sachiko
My brother used to love baseball so much.
[17:21] Sachiko
He would always play catch with our father by the river.
[17:24] Sachiko
I loved to watch them.
[17:27] Sachiko
But one day, my brother threw the ball too high,
[17:32] Sachiko
and our father went after it.
[17:35] Sachiko
He hasn't...
[17:37] Sachiko
...come home since.
[17:41] Sachiko
How far did our father go chasing after it?
[17:47] Sachiko
My brother's been waiting for him to come back with the ball.
[17:52] Kagura
Sachiko-chan!
[17:55] Kagura
Are you sure?
[17:57] Kagura
Are you really sure about this?
[18:00] Brother
What would you know?!
[18:03] Sachiko
Brother!
[18:05] Kondo
Y-Yes...
[18:06] Kondo
That's right...
[18:08] Kondo
Stop throwing balls into the past.
[18:11] Kondo
Baseballs are meant to be thrown forward!
[18:14] Kondo
I could feel your ball touch my heart!
[18:18] Kondo
I'm sure your old man felt the same way!
[18:21] Sachiko
Thank you for helping my brother come outside!
[18:24] Kagura
Nice job, gorilla!
[18:25] Brother
I'm going to use my full strength!
[18:27] Kondo
Huh?
[18:27] Brother
I want you to feel my true strength!
[18:30] Kondo
Wait, wait, wait...
[18:31] Brother
Here I go!
[18:32] Kondo
Wait a second!
[18:36] Both
Thank you very much!
[18:38] Kondo
Why is everyone interfering with my love?
[18:41] Kondo
It's like the heavens are trying to keep me away from Otae-san!
[18:46] Kondo
But I refuse to give up!
[18:48] Kondo
I can still hit a walk-off home run!
[18:50] Brother
You found our father?!
[18:51] Brother
Wasn't he dead?
[18:53] Brother
He's lost his memory?!
[18:54] Brother
Is there anything you can do?!
[18:56] Brother
Something to help him remember?
[18:58] Brother
There isn't anything to...
[19:02] Father
What is this burning passion in my chest?!
[19:05] Brother
Father!
[19:06] Brother
Your memory's back!
[19:08] Father
Yeah.
[19:09] Father
I remembered everything by playing catch.
[19:12] Sachiko
Father!
[19:14] Father
I don't know who you are, but thank you very much.
[19:17] Father
Is there any way to thank you?
[19:18] Kondo
No, it's okay.
[19:20] Kondo
Anyway, you've finally been reunited.
[19:23] Kondo
The three of you should go enjoy the game.
[19:27] Sachiko
Those are...
[19:29] Kondo
It's okay.
[19:30] Kondo
Have fun in my place.
[19:32] Brother
Thank you very much!
[19:34] Brother
We'll return the favor one day!
[19:36] Kagura
Are you sure?
[19:37] Kondo
Yeah, I'm already late.
[19:41] Kondo
I guess that Otae-san and I aren't meant to be together in this lifetime.
[19:45] Kondo
Fate has chosen to stand in our way, and there's nothing I can do about it.
[19:51] Kondo
As I watched the skies clear the moment I relinquished the tickets,
[19:55] Kondo
that was the conclusion I reached.
[19:58] Kondo
I wonder if Otae-san is waiting for me.
[20:00] Kondo
Of course not.
[20:05] Hijikata
Kondo-san.
[20:06] Kondo
Toshi?
[20:07] Hijikata
Sorry it's not your girl.
[20:09] Kondo
Heh, the girl doesn't matter anymore.
[20:11] Kondo
I'm devoting myself to the sword.
[20:14] Hijikata
I see.
[20:15] Hijikata
Sorry to bother you while you're down,
[20:17] Hijikata
but we have a problem on our hands.
[20:19] Hijikata
A meteorite is approaching Edo.
[20:21] Kondo
Huh?
[20:21] Hijikata
It's nothing serious.
[20:23] Hijikata
The meteorite's the size of a baseball.
[20:25] Hijikata
It's so small that they couldn't detect it until now,
[20:28] Hijikata
but at this rate, it's going to hit your date spot in 15 minutes.
[20:31] Kondo
What?!
[20:32] Hijikata
We'll have to issue an evacuation order.
[20:35] Hijikata
Well, there probably won't be much damage,
[20:38] Hijikata
but you better stay away from the dome.
[20:41] Hijikata
Huh?
[20:42] Hijikata
Kondo-san?
[20:43] Hijikata
Kondo-san?!
[20:44] Kondo
I just know it!
[20:46] Kondo
The meteorite is headed right for Otae-san!
[20:49] Kondo
Because I was trying to defy fate and make Otae-san mine,
[20:54] Kondo
fate is going after Otae-san now!
[21:00] A
Hey!
[21:01] A
Here it comes!
[21:02] B
It's coming this way!
[21:04] Otae
Huh?
[21:05] Otae
Is it coming...
[21:07] Otae
...for me?
[21:09] Kondo
No.
[21:11] Kondo
Kondo will pinch hit for you.
[21:14] Otae
Kondo-san...
[21:16] Sachiko
Mister!
[21:17] Sachiko
We've got you covered!
[21:19] Father
I'll catch it if you miss!
[21:24] Kondo
It's over, fate.
[21:26] Kondo
I'm not interested in going to heaven.
[21:29] Kondo
I live for love...
[21:32] Kondo
To protect my loved ones...
[21:35] Kondo
I live as a samurai!
[21:40] Kondo
Here's a walk-off home run!
[21:55] Otae
I'm walking off.
SIGN Next Episode Meals Should Be Balanced
[23:30] Gin
Next time:
[23:31] Gin
It's too confusing when talking about the poster girl for a poster store,
[23:33] Gin
so call her a sandwich board
[23:34] ---
E206 - It's Too Confusing When Talking About the Poster Girl for a Poster Store, So Call Her a Sandwich Board
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:10] Gin
Okay, attention please?
[00:12] Gin
Some of you may have already noticed,
[00:15] Gin
but there's this little dot here.
[00:18] Gin
Kind of like a secondary
sex characteristic.
[00:20] Gin
But it's not pronounced
Gintama Dash or Dot.
[00:24] Gin
Due to grown-up circumstances,
[00:26] ---
there has to be something here.
[00:28] Gin
Because grown-ups grow hair down there.
[00:30] Gin
But it's still pronounced Gintama.
[00:32] Gin
Grown-ups keep their mouths shut
[00:35] ---
when someone's unshaven.
[00:37] Gin
So with that lesson learned,
let's try this again.
SIGN Snack Otose
[02:14] Otose
Apparently, she's got herself...
[02:18] Otose
...a man.
[02:22] Otose
I noticed that Catherine was behaving
[02:24] ---
rather oddly lately.
[02:25] Otose
That explains why.
[02:27] Gin
So, did someone lose a bet or something?
[02:30] Otose
He's a regular here.
[02:32] Otose
They've been on friendly
terms for a while.
[02:34] Gin
No, seriously. This guy must have lost
[02:37] Gin
This defies logic.
[02:38] Gin
No man would ever be interested
in that nasty woman.
[02:40] Gin
Clearly, she was the result
of a bad joke by God.
[02:45] Gin
If he threw together some
leftover cat and housewife parts
[02:47] ---
to make a present for his grandchild,
[02:49] Gin
which was then relegated
[02:51] ---
to chew toy duty, that would be her.
[02:55] Tama
But don't you think that
[02:57] ---
Catherine-san looks prettier these days?
[02:59] Gin
How?
[03:00] Gin
You mean how the cat and
housewife parts fit together?
[03:02] Gin
That's because God files
the edges and gives the
[03:04] ---
putty plenty of time to dry.
[03:05] Tama
According to my data,
[03:07] ---
women become more beautiful
[03:08] ---
when they fall in love.
[03:09] Gin
What?
[03:10] Gin
That's just lip service.
[03:13] Tama
Don't they tend to place their
[03:14] ---
hand on their cheek and sigh?
[03:16] Gin
Just stop already.
[03:18] Gin
Women, old and robot,
always love this topic.
[03:22] Tama
My folder of love stories
is ten yottabytes.
[03:25] Gin
That's ridiculously huge!
[03:26] Gin
Listen to me.
[03:28] Gin
You can putty up a Zaku
as much as you want.
[03:29] Gin
It's never going to become a Gundam.
[03:31] Gin
Fix your data.
[03:33] Tama
Understood.
[03:34] Tama
Master Gintoki can never
be like Hiro Mizushima.
[03:37] Tama
Gajiro Sato is the best he can manage.
[03:39] Gin
What's with the cruel gap
in wavy hair characters?
[03:42] Catherine
I'm back.
[03:44] Gin
Look, the Zaku's back.
[03:46] Gin
Tune her up, mechanic.
[03:48] Catherine
Sorry I took so long.
[03:51] Catherine
There was an elderly person
[03:52] ---
who needed help carrying something.
[03:55] Catherine
Please deduct it from my wages.
[04:00] Gin
Z-ZZZ Gundam has returned!
[04:03] Tama
Didn't I explain this to you?
[04:04] Gin
Explain what?!
[04:07] Gin
Her physique is completely different!
[04:09] Gin
You can't pin this on an
idiosyncratic animator!
[04:12] Catherine
Oh, Gintoki-san.
[04:13] Catherine
Welcome.
[04:15] Catherine
Enjoy yourself.
[04:16] Gin
Even her personality has been Newtype'd!
[04:19] Gin
Why is she so polite now?!
[04:21] Gin
Love can't change a girl this much!
[04:24] Catherine
Wait, love...?
[04:26] Catherine
You all know?
[04:28] Catherine
Oh, I'm so embarrassed!
[04:30] Catherine
I'm sorry.
[04:31] Catherine
I planned to tell you
[04:33] ---
once everything was settled...
[04:35] Otose
Everything was settled?
[04:37] Otose
Catherine, are you...
[04:40] Catherine
Otose-san, I'm...
SIGN Snack Otose
[04:44] Catherine
...in a relationship with
[04:45] ---
someone who wants to marry me.
SIGN It's Too Confusing When Talking About the Poster Girl for a Poster Store, So Call Her a Sandwich Board
[04:56] Shin
Suejiro Suemoto-san.
[04:58] Shin
A regular at Otose-san's place.
[05:00] Shin
That's how he got to know Catherine-san.
[05:02] Shin
He's an up-and-coming entrepreneur
[05:04] Shin
with considerable influence.
[05:06] Kagura
Hmm...
[05:08] Kagura
There are some real weirdos out there.
SIGN Sugar Content
[05:11] Shin
People have always sucked up
[05:13] ---
to him because of his money,
[05:15] Shin
so Catherine-san was like
a breath of fresh air.
SIGN Catherine-san!
SIGN Sorry about being late.
SIGN Please don't worry about it.
SIGN You should wipe off your sweat first.
SIGN Oh, thank you. I appreciate it.
SIGN Ah!
SIGN (My, Suejiro-san is so bold.)
SIGN Flower House
SIGN Oh, dear. My head is spinning.
SIGN This is so much fun.
SIGN Ah!
SIGN Whoa...!
SIGN Catherine-san...
SIGN Suejiro-san...
[06:00] Gin
Wait a second.
[06:02] Gin
Is this the right show?
[06:05] Gin
Who wants to see them
fawn over each other?
[06:08] Shin
Gin-san, we should be happy for them.
[06:11] Shin
That would be the grown-up response.
[06:12] Gin
Hah!
[06:13] Gin
Grown-up!
[06:14] Gin
Yeah, yeah.
[06:14] Gin
So sorry!
[06:16] Shin
In any case, business is
booming at Snack Otose.
[06:19] Shin
It must be the charm of
a new wife or something,
[06:22] Shin
since Catherine-san has
doubled her clientele.
[06:25] Shin
And Suejiro-san seems
like a nice person.
[06:27] Shin
He was a regular customer,
[06:29] Shin
so he isn't going to tell
her to stop working.
[06:32] Kagura
Hmph!
[06:33] Kagura
Make sure you don't fall
[06:35] ---
for a woman like her, Sadaharu!
[06:36] Kagura
You never know when she's gonna
[06:38] ---
turn back into a chew toy.
SIGN Sugar Content
[07:31] Shin
He lost all of his assets
[07:32] ---
when Lehman Brothers went bankrupt.
[07:35] Shin
So he was saying that he can
[07:37] ---
no longer make Catherine-san happy...
[07:38] Kagura
So he wants to call it off?
[07:40] Kagura
Just goes to show that he's a man with
[07:42] ---
no money and no balls.
[07:44] Shin
But Catherine-san refused.
[07:46] Shin
She said that she would support him.
[07:49] Kagura
Huh?
[07:51] Shin
Suejiro-san has a piece
of property left that
[07:54] ---
isn't in the Kabuki district.
[07:55] Shin
He's going to open a new business there.
[07:58] Shin
With Catherine-san.
[07:59] Kagura
So what?
[08:01] Kagura
That thief who showed up in
[08:02] ---
episode 12 of this anime,
[08:04] Kagura
is finally leaving in episode 206?
[08:07] Shin
Well, it's like she's graduating,
[08:09] ---
becoming independent.
[08:13] Shin
Otose-san will be a little lonely,
[08:15] Shin
but I'm sure that she'll be the first
[08:17] ---
one to congratulate them.
[08:20] Tama
Master Gintoki.
[08:21] Tama
There is an emergency.
[08:23] Tama
Could you come see Ms.
Otose immediately?
[08:28] Gin
Uh, I have a little
emergency of my own here.
[08:31] Gin
Could you leave immediately?
[08:33] Tama
I will take over here.
[08:35] Gin
Take over what?
SIGN Keep the bathroom clean!
[08:36] Tama
Go see Ms. Otose now.
[08:39] Gin
After walking through the cold,
[08:41] ---
I'm at terminal velocity,
or diarrhea city.
[08:44] Tama
I have retrieved the appropriate data.
[08:45] Tama
I simply need to continue
making ice cream, correct?
[08:48] Gin
Chocolate.
[08:50] Gin
And make sure it doesn't
fall off the cone.
[08:53] Gin
Man...
[08:54] Gin
What's going on?
[08:56] Shin
She probably wants to talk about
[08:57] ---
Catherine-san and Suejiro-san's future?
[09:02] Kagura
-Gin-chan!
-Gin-San!
[09:03] Suejiro
Catherine!
[09:04] Suejiro
Are you okay?!
[09:06] Suejiro
What was that for?!
[09:08] Suejiro
Otose-san!
[09:10] Otose
If you want to leave, scram.
[09:13] Otose
I won't object or try to stop you.
[09:17] Otose
But I can't stand
[09:19] ---
to watch people like you who dream
[09:22] Otose
and can't keep their feet on the ground.
[09:26] Suejiro
You can call me whatever you want!
[09:29] Suejiro
But are you really saying that
[09:30] ---
Catherine's hopes are
just a pipe dream?!
[09:32] Catherine
Otose-san...
[09:33] Suejiro
Catherine!
[09:34] Catherine
I've been saving up money
[09:39] ---
so I might open my own bar one day...
SIGN Snack Otose
[09:43] Catherine
I wanted to create a place
[09:45] ---
like this one, where
everyone was all smiles.
[09:50] Catherine
I wanted to become a
selfless person like you...
[09:58] Otose
I see how it is, Suejiro-san.
[10:00] Otose
I was wondering how you could
[10:02] ---
afford to open a new business.
[10:03] Otose
That explains it.
[10:05] Catherine
Don't say that!
[10:08] Suejiro
I just want to work together
for our future...!
[10:11] Otose
Go ahead and get married,
be independent.
[10:15] Otose
You don't need permission from me.
[10:18] Otose
We're total strangers, after all.
[10:23] Otose
Or is there more?
[10:24] Otose
You came here because you wanted to
[10:28] ---
weasel money out of me and Catherine?
[10:32] Shin
Otose-san!
[10:33] Shin
That's crossing the line...
[10:34] Catherine
Always...
[10:36] Catherine
I always thought of you as my mother...
[10:42] Catherine
Fine, you old hag!
[10:44] Catherine
I don't need your permission!
[10:46] Catherine
And I'm never coming back to see you!
[10:50] Catherine
Roll over and die!
[10:52] Otose
That's nice.
[10:54] Otose
I feel a lot better knowing that I won't
[10:55] ---
have to see your face again!
[10:57] Catherine
Wait up, hag!
[10:58] Catherine
I'm not finished with you...
[11:00] Otose
I'll give you that instead of money.
[11:02] Otose
You can display it in your bar.
[11:04] Otose
It'll be the perfect place to display
[11:05] ---
a cheap bottle of alcohol.
[11:06] Catherine
You old hag!
[11:07] Catherine
I'll make you eat your words!
[11:09] Catherine
I'll start up a bar that beats
[11:10] ---
the crap out of this run-down place!
[11:12] Catherine
I'll become bigger than you ever will!
[11:16] Catherine
Goddamn!
[11:17] Suejiro
Catherine!
[11:18] Suejiro
Catherine!
[11:18] Shin
Catherine-san!
[11:19] Kagura
Hey, you thief!
[11:21] Suejiro
Catherine!
SIGN Kabuki District Station
[11:38] Shin
Write us a letter once
you're settled down.
[11:40] Shin
And invite us over
once your bar is open.
[11:44] Shin
We'll all come to visit.
[11:46] Tama
Let me know if anything comes up.
[11:49] Tama
I will be right there.
[11:51] Catherine
Thank you very much.
[11:52] Shin
Sorry that this isn't
much of a send-off...
[11:55] Shin
Where did Gin-san run off to this time?
[11:58] Shin
Hey, Kagura-chan!
[11:59] Shin
You should say goodbye.
[12:02] Kagura
Don't come back!
[12:04] Shin
Come on, Kagura-chan!
[12:06] Kagura
But if it's too much to take...
[12:09] Kagura
If you can't put up with the in-laws,
[12:12] Kagura
you can come back after
raking him for alimony.
[12:15] Kagura
You'll be more than welcome then.
[12:22] Catherine
Really, thank you for everything.
[12:26] Catherine
Please take care...
[12:30] Shin
Catherine-san, uh...
About Otose-san...
[12:32] N
The train on Platform 2
will be departing momentarily.
[12:35] Catherine
I'll be going then.
[12:37] Catherine
Suejiro-san is waiting for me.
[12:40] Shin
Please wait, Catherine-san!
[12:43] Catherine
Please take care of...
[12:47] Catherine
...Otose-san for me.
SIGN Snack Otose
[12:55] Otose
Didn't you read the sign?
[12:57] Otose
We're closed today.
[12:59] Gin
Really?
[13:00] Gin
Guess you don't have a choice
[13:02] ---
without your poster girl around.
[13:04] Gin
Don't worry.
[13:06] Gin
I'm not here for a drink.
[13:08] Gin
I'm here to do the pouring.
[13:20] Otose
I never knew.
[13:24] Otose
When I first met her,
[13:26] ---
she was just a dirty thief.
[13:28] Otose
I felt so bad for her
[13:31] Otose
that I let her stay at my bar.
[13:33] Otose
But she kept wandering off.
[13:38] Otose
Couldn't really blame her
[13:40] ---
since she was a stray at heart,
[13:43] Otose
but lately, she's settled down
[13:46] ---
and been working hard.
[13:50] Otose
I never knew she actually
had a plan for her future...
[13:54] Gin
You didn't like the guy?
[13:56] Otose
I should be grateful
[13:57] ---
that anyone was willing to take her.
[14:01] Otose
I understand that she
can't exactly be choosy.
[14:04] Otose
Still, as a parent...
[14:07] Otose
Your daughter can bring
home the perfect man
[14:10] Otose
and you'll still be able
to find something wrong.
[14:13] Otose
I can't just smile and send her off,
[14:16] Otose
when I know she's going to suffer.
[14:19] Otose
That was the best I could manage.
[14:24] Otose
I feel bad.
[14:26] Otose
So this is how it ends.
[14:30] Gin
If you feel bad, don't
talk like it's over.
[14:36] Gin
Once she's opened a bar
that's as good as this one,
[14:40] Gin
you should go have a drink.
[14:49] Otose
Catherine, find your happiness.
[14:58] N
The last train is departing.
[15:04] N
Today's service has concluded.
[15:08] N
Please exit the station
in a swift manner.
[15:34] Man
Suemoto?
[15:35] Man
Nope, never heard of him.
[15:37] Man
I don't think there's anybody
by that name in this area.
[15:40] Man
A bar?
[15:41] Man
No, no.
[15:43] Man
They're going to open a drugstore here.
SIGN Greater Edo Bank
SIGN Please wait.
SIGN Your balance is 0 yen. Would you like a receipt?
[16:06] Machine
Please remove your card.
[16:22] Man
Are you new here?
[16:24] Man
I don't know what you've been through,
[16:26] ---
but it's a harsh world out there.
[16:29] Man
If you need anything, let me know.
[16:32] Man
They call me the lord of this park.
[16:35] Man
I'll do anything for a little alcohol...
SIGN Bacchus
[16:40] Man
W-Wait!
[16:41] Man
Wh-Where did you get this stuff?!
[16:44] Catherine
Don't touch that!
[16:46] Man
L-Lady, that's incredible stuff!
[16:48] Man
Bacchus wine from Planet Bacchus,
[16:51] ---
only made once every hundred years!
[16:57] Man
Legendary stuff that
[16:58] ---
will net hundreds from any collector!
[17:00] Man
H-How did you get your hands on this?!
[17:06] Otose
You can display it in your bar.
[17:08] Otose
The perfect place to display
a cheap bottle of alcohol.
[17:13] Catherine
Otose-san...
[17:16] Catherine
You were giving me a push in the back...
[17:20] Catherine
I'm so sorry, Otose-san...
[17:25] Catherine
I have no place to display
this wonderful bottle...
[17:30] Man
Wait, I didn't drink any!
[17:31] Man
I didn't even take a sip!
[17:33] Man
I just touched the bottle!
[17:34] Man
I'm sorry! Really sorry!
[17:37] Man
Sorry! I'm sorry!
[17:39] Man
Okay?
[17:44] Madao
So yeah.
[17:47] Madao
She wouldn't tell me
[17:48] ---
what happened when I asked.
[17:51] Madao
She kept saying that she
[17:52] ---
couldn't go back because she promised.
[17:55] Madao
I guess she got sick
of me asking questions,
[17:58] Madao
since she just ran off.
[18:01] Madao
Do you know anything, Gin-san?
[18:04] Gin
Hasegawa-san...
[18:06] Gin
Were your parents happy
when you got married?
[18:10] Madao
Where did that come from?
[18:13] Madao
I married into money.
[18:15] Madao
So my whole family was thrilled.
[18:18] Gin
I see...
[18:21] Gin
That's what matters in the end.
[18:25] Madao
Hey, it's starting, Gin-san!
[18:28] Madao
Whoa, wait!
[18:29] Madao
Wh-What?!
[18:30] Madao
Man, that's nasty!
[18:32] Madao
Gin-san!
[18:34] Madao
Look at that!
[18:35] Madao
What?
[18:38] Madao
Huh?
SIGN Easy Financing Evil Loans
[18:41] Loan
You actually got the money.
[18:43] Loan
I knew you could do it.
[18:45] Loan
You just have to trick a few women
[18:47] ---
and you can pay back
your loan in no time.
SIGN Evil 4 Lyfe
[18:49] Loan
What was your opinion of this target,
[18:51] ---
as a former gigolo.
[18:53] Suejiro
Quite frankly, she was so easy
[18:54] ---
that I was bored to death.
[18:56] Suejiro
I just used her dream of opening a bar,
[18:59] Suejiro
and she completely fell for it.
[19:01] Suejiro
Stupid woman.
[19:03] Suejiro
Why would I waste my
time on that old lady?
[19:06] Suejiro
I could barely stand
walking next to her.
[19:09] Loan
I don't know how you
came up with the idea
[19:11] Loan
of pretending to go broke
after you were a couple.
[19:14] Suejiro
Most women will do anything for money.
[19:17] Suejiro
But there are a few exceptions
[19:19] Suejiro
who have a weakness for the penniless.
[19:23] Loan
You're starting to look
pretty evil yourself.
[19:26] Loan
At this rate, you'll pay
off the rest in no...
[19:29] Loan
Wh-What's that?!
[19:33] Man
B-Bro!
[19:34] Man
We're under attack!
[19:36] Loan
Wh-What?!
[19:37] Loan
Which gang is it?!
[19:38] Man
It's not a gang!
[19:39] Man
There's only one...
SIGN Evil 4 Lyfe
[19:44] Suejiro
You're the man who was at Otose's bar!
[19:48] Gin
Don't worry.
[19:50] Gin
You guys aren't evil.
[19:53] Gin
You just stole money from a woman
[19:55] ---
who was saving up for her dream...
[19:58] Gin
You fooled her into thinking you
[20:00] ---
wanted to marry her so you
could take her money...
[20:04] Gin
That doesn't make you evil.
[20:08] Gin
I'll show you what true evil looks like.
[20:25] Otose
Do you have a moment?
[20:28] Otose
I feel like having a drink.
[20:31] Otose
Are you open?
[20:33] Otose
That's a relief.
[20:35] Otose
I didn't think anyone
[20:37] ---
would be open with the snow and all.
[20:40] Otose
Just give me one shot
of your cheapest booze.
[20:57] Otose
This is a nice place.
[20:59] Otose
You can watch the moon, watch the snow,
[21:01] ---
and have a drink.
[21:05] Otose
But I have one complaint.
[21:10] Otose
Nobody cries while pouring a drink.
[21:16] Otose
You have to have a smile
on your face at all times.
[21:22] Otose
Even if the customer is crying.
[21:26] Otose
You still have much to learn, Catherine.
[21:38] Gin
Well, let's go have a drink.
[21:41] Shin
Gin-san.
[21:42] Gin
I brought a little present...
[21:44] Gin
The drinks...
[21:47] Gin
...are on me.
SIGN Catherine Greater Edo Bank
SIGN Next Episode
[23:24] Sa
It's like a dream come true!
[23:26] Sa
I'll pretend like these
glasses are Gin-san
[23:27] ---
and never let them go!
[23:29] Sa
Next time:
SIGN Glasses Are Part of the Soul
[23:30] Sa
Glasses are part of the soul!
E207 - Glasses are part of the soul
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[01:34] Gin
The hell?
[01:35] Gin
It won't make a sound?
[01:37] Shin
What's wrong, Gin-san?
SIGN Sugar Content
[01:38] Gin
The damn TV just closed its eyes
with a dark look on its face.
[01:42] Kagura
Maybe it has something on its mind?
[01:44] Kagura
It hasn't adjusted to
the digital transition?
[01:46] Shin
It's probably time to buy a new one.
[01:49] Shin
Huh?
[01:50] Shin
Is this how the TV always looked?
[01:52] Gin
Huh?
[01:53] Gin
Now that you mention it...
[01:55] Kagura
Some guy from Edobashi Camera
brought it over the other day.
[01:58] Kagura
Maybe it's from one of our clients?
[02:02] Gin
I don't remember taking any
[02:03] ---
jobs that involved
defective merchandise.
[02:04] Sa
Click.
[02:06] Shin
Oh, it turned on.
[02:07] Shin
Gin-san, the TV's fixed.
[02:11] Gin
There's someone familiar on the screen.
[02:14] Gin
A face I didn't want to see
is sticking out of the TV.
[02:16] Sa
This is a 3D TV.
[02:19] Gin
Whoa, 3D? That's amazing.
[02:21] Gin
How do I turn it off?
[02:24] Sa
Press your lips against the button here.
[02:27] Gin
I see.
[02:28] Gin
Sadaharu, turn the TV off.
[02:30] Gin
And turn her off while you're at it.
[02:33] Gin
Bulk trash.
[02:34] Sa
Wait!
[02:36] Sa
Wait a moment!
[02:40] Shin
Huh?
[02:44] Shin
Is something wrong?
[02:46] Sa
N-No, it's nothing.
[02:48] Sa
Just that my glasses broke.
[02:50] Kagura
Were they important to you?
[02:52] Sa
Huh?
[02:53] Sa
Y-Yes...
[02:54] Sa
Oh, I'm sorry.
[02:56] Sa
It's not a big deal.
[02:57] Sa
They were cheap.
[02:58] Sa
Don't worry about it.
[02:59] Sa
It's just that they were
from my late grandmother...
[03:01] Shin
Huh?
[03:02] Shin
But...
[03:03] Shin
You should probably buy a new pair.
[03:06] Sa
Yes?
[03:07] Sa
Oh, I'm sorry.
[03:08] Sa
They're all I have to remember
her by, but I'm fine,
[03:10] ---
so don't worry about it.
[03:11] Kagura
But you're crying.
[03:13] Sa
I-I'm not!
[03:15] Sa
It's just that a piece
of lens got in my eye.
[03:16] Shin
Wait, what?!
[03:17] Kagura
Hmm, it looks okay, but
your eyes are totally red.
[03:20] Kagura
You should go to the hospital.
[03:22] Shin
Want me to take you there?
[03:24] Sa
It's okay!
[03:25] Sa
Don't worry about it!
[03:26] Kagura
Just ignore those guys.
[03:28] Kagura
I'll take you to the hospital.
[03:29] Kagura
Let's go, Sa-chan.
[03:30] Gin
Wait!
[03:32] Gin
Something's wrong with this situation!
[03:33] Gin
Why is it all awkward
like I accidentally hit
[03:35] ---
a girl in the face while
playing dodgeball?!
[03:38] Gin
It was clearly her fault!
[03:40] Gin
She basically moved her face
[03:42] ---
into the ball and broke her glasses!
[03:45] Sa
I'm sorry, Gin-san.
[03:47] Sa
It's been so long since
[03:48] ---
my last appearance that I overdid it.
[03:51] Sa
I'm sorry!
[03:52] Sa
I'll be leaving then!
[03:53] Shin
Ah! Sa-chan-san!
[03:56] Gin
Wh-Why are you looking at me?
[03:57] Gin
What are you trying to say?
[03:59] Gin
Even you, Sadaharu?!
SIGN Glasses Are Part of the Soul
SIGN Glasses for Edogawa
[04:09] Sa
They're all so lovely!
[04:11] Sa
Which one should I pick?
[04:12] Sa
It's like a dream come true!
[04:14] Sa
Gin-san buying a pair
of glasses for me...
SIGN Both Nearsighted and Farsighted
[04:17] Sa
Thank you for breaking, Grandma.
[04:20] Sa
I won't let your death be for nothing!
[04:22] Sa
Which should I pick?
[04:24] Sa
Maybe I should ask
Gin-san to pick for me?!
[04:27] Gin
How about one of the pairs
in that clearance bin?
[04:31] Sa
I can't see a thing.
[04:33] Sa
But if this is what you like,
[04:34] ---
I'll go with these.
[04:36] Sa
Do they fit?
[04:37] Sa
How do I look?
[04:38] Gin
Cute, very cute.
SIGN Super Cheap
[04:39] Gin
They look perfect.
[04:40] Gin
Like you were born wearing those.
[04:44] Man
Mister, Mister.
[04:46] Man
Are you searching for
engagement glasses?
[04:49] Gin
What the hell are engagement glasses?
[04:50] Gin
I've never heard of those!
[04:52] Gin
And wait,
[04:53] Gin
haven't we met before?
[04:55] Man
Young lady, I see that
you have excellent taste.
[04:59] Man
There's a story behind those glasses.
[05:01] Man
The lens used in the famous
Battle of Red Cliffs
[05:04] ---
by the Wu to set fire
to Cao Cao's forces
[05:07] Man
were made by a man whose glasses lenses
[05:08] ---
were made by a man whose glasses lenses
[05:10] Man
were made by a man whose glasses
lenses were seen by a man
[05:11] ---
who wore this particular
pair of glasses.
[05:12] Gin
That doesn't mean a damn thing!
[05:15] Gin
We'll take these, Gramps.
[05:17] Gin
Since they're used,
give us a 99% discount.
[05:20] Man
Huh? Wait a moment.
[05:21] Man
There's a story behind those glasses.
[05:23] Man
The lens used in the famous Trojan
Horse during the Trojan War...
[05:28] Sa
Um... Thank you, Gin-san.
[05:31] Sa
I don't know how to show
[05:32] ---
my gratitude for these
wonderful glasses.
[05:35] Sa
I've never received such a
wonderful and stinky present.
[05:37] Gin
Glad to hear it.
[05:39] Gin
Why don't you walk her home, "Gin-san"?
[05:42] Gin
I'll ask Gengai to fix
your Grandma's glasses,
[05:46] Gin
so just use those for the time being.
[05:47] Sa
No, it's okay.
[05:49] Gin
Huh?
[05:50] Sa
Grandma would yell at me
for clinging to the past.
[05:55] Sa
Goodbye...
[05:57] Sa
Grandma's glasses which
were stepped on by Dad
[05:59] ---
who was stepped on by Mom
[06:00] Sa
who stepped on the poop
of a dog whose owner
[06:02] ---
had a daughter that owned the
store which sold these glasses.
[06:04] Gin
What?!
[06:04] Gin
That doesn't mean a damn thing?!
[06:07] Sa
I'll think of these glasses
as you and never let them go!
[06:10] Sa
I'll treasure them forever!
[06:15] Gin
Oh well.
[06:24] Sa
Open wide!
SIGN Love Garden
[06:54] Gin
Put on the damn glasses!
[06:56] Gin
The hell are you doing
with those glasses?!
[06:58] Gin
Why are you going on a date and going
all the way with a pair of glasses?!
[07:01] Sa
Gin-san, are you jealous of Glassin-san?
[07:04] Gin
Who the hell is Glassin-san?!
[07:05] Sa
You've got it wrong, Gin-san.
[07:07] Sa
I was planning on putting
on Glassin-san right away.
[07:10] Sa
But when I thought of them as you,
[07:12] ---
I got all nervous...
[07:14] Sa
But I'm finally ready now, so...
[07:17] Sa
I'm going to p-put...
SIGN Love Garden
[07:19] Sa
No, I can't say it!
[07:20] Sa
It's too embarrassing!
[07:21] Gin
Why are you making the act of
[07:23] ---
putting on glasses sound so dirty?!
[07:25] Sa
But they're like another you!
[07:26] Sa
If I put them on, it's like, you know?
[07:29] Sa
The two of us become one!
[07:31] Gin
How can you turn the act of putting
[07:32] ---
on glasses into such a big deal?
[07:34] Gin
And those are like another random
[07:35] ---
old guy who owns the glasses store.
[07:37] Gin
Here you go.
[07:39] Gin
I got your glasses fixed.
[07:41] Gin
Just throw away that filthy pair.
[07:44] Gin
Now listen to me.
[07:45] Gin
If you don't want your
glasses broken again,
[07:47] Gin
never sneak into our house again.
[07:50] Sa
I refuse.
[07:52] Sa
How can you come slinking back
[07:54] ---
and acting like you're my boyfriend?
[07:56] Sa
Now, I...
[07:57] Sa
I...
[08:00] Sa
I'm devoted to Glassin-san!
[08:01] Sa
I want Glassin-san!
[08:03] Sa
It has to be Glassin-san!
[08:05] Sa
I can't even imagine wearing
another pair of glasses.
[08:07] Sa
Don't treat me like one of those
[08:09] ---
loose-eared sluts that
constantly switches glasses!
[08:11] Gin
The hell is a loose-eared slut?
[08:13] Gin
I got these fixed because
you kept complaining.
[08:16] Gin
Besides, those glasses
aren't your prescription,
[08:19] ---
so you can't see a thing, right?
[08:20] Gin
That's dangerous.
[08:21] Sa
Leave Glassin-san and me alone!
[08:24] Sa
It's too...
[08:25] Sa
It's too late to try
to be nice to me now!
[08:26] Gin
What's up with this conversation?
[08:28] Gin
Why does it sound like a love triangle?!
[08:30] Sa
Never show your face around
Glassin-san and me again!
[08:33] Sa
Farewell, former glasses!
[08:35] Sa
Farewell, former lover!
[08:41] Shin
I'll buy you a drink.
[08:43] Gin
What's going on?
[08:44] Gin
Why do I feel like I was just dumped?
[08:46] Gin
Hey! Is this country full of idiots?!
SIGN Dango House
[08:51] Sa
The target?
[08:52] Man
A government official,
Zenkichiro Yoneda.
[08:54] Man
Preparations have been made by
[08:56] ---
previously dispatched agents.
[08:58] Man
Your mission is to rendezvous
[08:59] ---
with the agents and take out the target.
[09:01] Man
Will you return to the path of evil
[09:03] ---
for the sake of saving
the weak masses, Sa-chan?
[09:08] Sa
Sometimes, evil can only
be eradicated by evil.
[09:12] Sa
I'm willing to get my hands
bloody to save others...
[09:17] Man
Sa-chan, those aren't dango.
[09:22] Yoneda
Echimoya, you're so bad!
[09:24] Echimoya
Please, I pale in comparison to you.
[09:27] Yoneda
Come closer.
[09:28] Yoneda
I have a question to ask
you before we begin.
[09:34] Yoneda
Who is she?
[09:36] Echimoya
Intruders!
[09:39] Men
Damn intruders!
[09:41] Men
Cut 'em all down!
[09:42] Sa
I'll act as a decoy.
[09:45] Sa
While I draw their attention,
you all should escape.
[09:48] A
But Sa-chan...
[09:50] Sa
Don't you understand?
[09:51] Sa
I can't unleash my
strength with you around!
[09:55] B
Sa-chan...
[09:57] Sa
Now hurry!
[09:58] Sa
Escape!
[10:01] Zenzo
Sarutobi, I'll make this easy.
[10:03] Zenzo
Switch glasses.
[10:04] Zenzo
I heard that you're not getting
any assassination work.
[10:07] Zenzo
Only makes sense after all the mistakes,
[10:09] ---
and you even injured your own men.
[10:12] Zenzo
There are rumors that you're in a slump,
[10:16] Zenzo
but you can't fool me.
[10:18] Zenzo
You can't see a thing, can you?
[10:21] Sa
Th-That's not true.
[10:23] Zenzo
Can you see what I'm doing right now?
[10:27] Sa
What?
[10:28] ---
You're just talking to me.
[10:29] Zenzo
No.
[10:31] Zenzo
I'm applying Preparation
H in front of your face...
[10:36] Zenzo
I-Impressive...
[10:38] Zenzo
You're using your mastery of your other
[10:40] ---
senses to compensate for
the lack of eyesight.
[10:41] Zenzo
However, a ninja lives
and dies by the eyes.
[10:45] Zenzo
You were able to become a member of
[10:47] ---
the Oniwaban despite your poor eyesight
[10:49] Zenzo
because of natural talent and hard work,
[10:51] Zenzo
but those custom-made Iga
glasses also played a role...
[10:55] Zenzo
Why are you wearing those glasses?
[10:57] Zenzo
You should know very well that
this world isn't a playground.
[11:05] Sa
It's none of your business.
[11:08] Sa
If I decide to wear these glasses...
[11:10] Sa
If I can't find any work...
[11:13] Zenzo
If only it were that simple.
[11:16] Zenzo
The way things stand, you're
gonna get yourself killed.
[11:19] Zenzo
The former head assassins
are acting suspiciously.
[11:24] A
Does Sarutobi intend to desert?
[11:29] B
She may intend to defect
to a different group
[11:32] ---
and provide them with information on us.
[11:35] C
Even if she doesn't,
[11:36] ---
she could still create headaches
[11:38] ---
by getting herself captured
and leaking information.
[11:44] D
We have no choice but to take her out.
[11:47] Zenzo
Once you've lost their trust,
they'll come for you.
[11:54] Zenzo
The Assassins of Assassins Squad!
[11:58] Zenzo
The Lethal Punishers!
[12:00] Sa
P-Punishment?!
[12:02] Sa
Does it involve whips and candles
and things of that nature?!
[12:06] Zenzo
Why are you getting excited?
[12:09] Zenzo
These assassins are trained
to kill assassins.
[12:13] Zenzo
Do you stand a chance
with those glasses on?
[12:17] Zenzo
I don't care what happens to you,
[12:19] Zenzo
but if you die a dog's death,
[12:22] Zenzo
it'll make the rest of the
former Oniwabanshu look bad.
[12:26] Zenzo
Try to avoid that.
[12:32] Sa
These were the first...
[12:34] Sa
The first present from Gin-san...
[12:37] Sa
But I'm not allowed to wear them.
[13:04] A
I believe that you are
Lady Ayame Sarutobi.
[13:07] A
Is that correct?
[13:12] Sa
I see that nobody ever
taught you any manners.
[13:15] Sa
A gentleman would
[13:17] ---
never interrupt a girl who's crying.
[13:20] A
My policy is to
[13:22] ---
gently wipe away the
tears when a woman cries.
[13:27] Sa
I see.
[13:28] Sa
How kind of you.
[13:30] Sa
So what do you do...
[13:32] Sa
...when the woman happens to be
your target for assassination?!
[13:44] A
I'll wipe away your tears.
[13:46] A
And I'll wipe away your blood, as well.
[13:52] B
Ayame Sarutobi the assassin.
[13:55] C
Our superiors have
determined that you are
[13:57] ---
no longer necessary.
[13:59] All
Thus, we Lethal Punishers
[14:01] ---
have been charged with your disposal.
[14:07] A
If you have any last words,
we'll hear you out.
[14:12] A
Do you have anything to say?
[14:17] Sa
Say...
[14:20] Sa
Would you let me put on my glasses?
SIGN Greater Edo Hospital
[14:29] Zenzo
Fool...
[14:30] Zenzo
I told you not to die a dog's death.
[14:34] Shin
Why did this happen to Sa-chan-san?
[14:37] Zenzo
Look at these.
[14:39] Zenzo
She kept wearing these glasses
[14:40] ---
when they weren't the
right prescription.
[14:43] Zenzo
As a result, she kept
screwing up on the job
[14:45] ---
and attracted the attention
of the higher-ups.
[14:47] Zenzo
When I found her on the verge of death,
[14:50] Zenzo
she was still holding those glasses.
[14:54] Zenzo
I don't care how happy they made her.
[14:56] Zenzo
She's a fool.
[15:00] Zenzo
Can you dispose of those?
SIGN Greater Edo Hospital
[15:03] Zenzo
They'll find this place very soon.
[15:05] Zenzo
She won't stand a chance
if those are still around.
[15:09] Zenzo
Well, if she still
refuses to put these on,
[15:12] Zenzo
that's the end of that.
[15:15] Kagura
Hey, hemorrhoid ninja!
[15:17] Kagura
You're going to leave
Sa-chan all alone here?!
[15:21] Zenzo
Sorry, but ninja don't band
together the way samurai do.
[15:26] Zenzo
If you don't want to die,
stay away from her.
[15:30] Zenzo
I'm sure that's what she wants.
[15:35] Sa
I'm...
[15:38] Sa
I'm sorry...
[15:42] Sa
They were a present from Gin-san.
[15:46] Sa
I promised to treasure them.
[15:53] Sa
I'm sorry I broke my promise.
[16:04] Kagura
Sa-chan...
[16:13] Gin
You don't need to see a thing right now.
[16:16] Gin
Don't need to see a thing.
[16:19] Gin
When you wake up,
[16:21] Gin
there won't be any
cracks in your vision.
[16:24] Shin
Gin-san...
[16:25] Gin
Can't help it.
[16:27] Gin
I'm the one who broke her glasses.
[16:32] Gin
The Assassins of Assassins
of Assassins Squad!
[16:35] Gin
Lethal Odd Jobs is moving out!
[17:23] Zenzo
The hell are you doing in my house?!
[17:26] Zenzo
Why are you sneaking
into my house in the
[17:28] ---
middle of night to make fried
rice all dramatic-like?!
[17:30] Zenzo
And turn off the damn music!
[17:32] Zenzo
It's bothering the neighbors!
[17:34] Zenzo
What is this?
[17:35] Zenzo
Seriously, why are you here?
[17:37] Gin
Well, people usually get
hungry around this time.
[17:40] Gin
So we were making a little snack.
[17:42] Zenzo
Wait up. This is my house.
[17:44] Zenzo
Those are my eggs, my ham.
[17:45] Zenzo
My fried rice!
[17:47] Kagura
Don't worry!
[17:48] Kagura
We made enough for you!
[17:50] Zenzo
That's not the issue here!
[17:52] Zenzo
I'm asking why you're in my house!
[17:54] Zenzo
Don't tell me you actually
came here to make fried ri--
[17:55] Gin
Oh, Sadaharu's here.
[17:57] Gin
Over there.
[17:58] Gin
Just set her down there.
[17:59] Zenzo
Uh, wait. Er, what?
[18:01] Zenzo
Why did you bring Sarutobi here?
[18:02] Shin
Well, we're going to
take on the assassins,
[18:05] Shin
but we don't want to
fight in a hospital.
[18:07] Shin
So we were trying to find a good place.
[18:10] Zenzo
Oh, I see.
[18:11] Zenzo
I'm rich and own a big house.
[18:13] Zenzo
Plus I'm single so
nobody else is around,
[18:14] Zenzo
so nobody else will be inconvenienced.
[18:16] Zenzo
That's the logic you used.
[18:17] Zenzo
What kind of logic is that?!
[18:18] Gin
Now, now, now.
[18:19] Gin
We're just borrowing your place.
[18:20] Gin
It won't take long.
[18:21] Gin
We're just gonna kill
four or five assassins.
[18:23] Zenzo
You're going to turn my
house into a murder scene?!
[18:25] Zenzo
Hey, why are you eating?!
Get out of here!
[18:27] Zenzo
I don't want blood and
innards all over my room!
[18:30] Zenzo
I'm actually a clean freak!
[18:32] Kagura
That's why you're still single.
[18:36] Kagura
Women can't stand men who are perfect.
[18:38] Kagura
The ideal would be a man
whose room is a little messy.
[18:42] Zenzo
Hey! That's way too big of a mess!
[18:44] Shin
What should we do, Gin-san?
[18:45] Shin
Now that the trap is
set, where do we wait?
[18:48] Zenzo
Wait!
[18:49] Zenzo
What are you doing?! Seriously, stop!
[18:50] Gin
How about the ceiling?
[18:52] Zenzo
Hey!
[18:52] Zenzo
I'm seriously gonna kill you!
[18:53] Zenzo
I'll assassinate your ass
before the assassins get here!
[18:56] Kagura
I'll wait here.
[18:57] Zenzo
Wait! I got it!
[18:58] Zenzo
I got it so stop!
[19:00] Zenzo
I'll help!
[19:00] Zenzo
I'll give you a hand!
[19:01] Zenzo
So stop destroying my house!
[19:11] Zenzo
Uh, do you read me?
[19:13] Zenzo
Hattori here.
[19:14] Zenzo
I'm right above Sarutobi.
[19:16] Zenzo
Is everybody in position?
[19:19] Gin
No problem. Everything's fine.
[19:20] Shin
It's really hot.
[19:23] Kagura
Are you sure about this?
[19:26] Zenzo
It's not perfect, but
I did what I could.
[19:29] Zenzo
We're up against professional killers.
[19:31] Zenzo
They know that Sarutobi and
the rest of you are here.
[19:33] Zenzo
They'll be extremely cautious,
[19:35] Zenzo
so we can use that to our advantage.
SIGN Sadaharu Sarutobi Zenzo Kagura / /\ Gintoki Shinpachi
[19:39] Zenzo
I left the entrance to the room where
Sarutobi is completely unguarded.
SIGN Enemy Enemy Enemy
[19:41] Zenzo
So they won't come from that direction.
[19:43] Zenzo
It's clearly a trap.
[19:45] Zenzo
They'll circle around.
[19:48] Zenzo
If anything goes wrong,
let us know immediately.
[19:50] Zenzo
Be ready to react if they
come through the front.
[19:54] Zenzo
Don't let your guard down.
[19:55] Zenzo
And don't destroy my house.
[19:58] Zenzo
Got it?
[19:59] Shin
Roger.
[20:00] Gin
Yeah.
[20:04] Zenzo
Damn, why do I have to do this?
[20:07] Zenzo
Huh?
[20:08] Zenzo
Wait a second.
[20:09] Zenzo
Was someone asleep?
[20:10] Zenzo
Someone sounded asleep!
[20:12] Zenzo
I'm calling roll again.
[20:14] Shin
Roger.
[20:20] Gin
Oh, shit.
[20:22] Zenzo
Hey!
[20:23] Zenzo
Somebody ran off to Don Quijote!
[20:25] Zenzo
Don't give me that crap!
[20:26] Zenzo
I'm trying to help here!
[20:28] Zenzo
Get your ass back here,
whoever went to Don Quijote!
[20:30] Shin
Roger.
[20:33] Gin
Hey, Shinpachi.
[20:34] Gin
Help me put Kagura on Sadaharu's back.
[20:37] Zenzo
You all went to Don Quijote!
[20:39] Zenzo
Wait a second!
[20:39] Zenzo
One of you is asleep in Don Quijote?!
[20:43] Zenzo
The hell is going on?!
Why did they all ditch me?!
[20:45] Zenzo
They could have invited me along!
[20:47] Zenzo
Not that I wanted to go!
[20:48] Zenzo
Oh, right.
[20:49] Zenzo
Could you buy some Preparation H?
[20:52] Zenzo
I'm out. The suppository type.
[20:56] Zenzo
Hello?
[20:57] Zenzo
Do you read me?
[21:02] Zenzo
Stop lying!
[21:03] Zenzo
Don't pretend to be asleep!
[21:05] Zenzo
Even the dog was
pretending to be asleep!
[21:08] Zenzo
The bastards are toying with me.
[21:10] Zenzo
I'm pissed!
[21:11] Zenzo
Screw this!
[21:11] Zenzo
I've had enough!
[21:14] Zenzo
This sensation...
[21:15] Zenzo
Someone's here.
[21:18] Zenzo
Two on the roof.
[21:20] Zenzo
Two inside.
[21:23] Zenzo
And in the yard...
[21:26] A
I can smell multiple humans.
[21:31] A
As expected.
[21:33] A
But it doesn't matter
how many there are.
[21:36] A
This time, we'll finish her off.
[21:39] A
Along with the others.
[21:42] Zenzo
Th-They're here...
[21:45] Gin
Excuse me, do you have
any Preparation H?
[21:48] Zenzo
The hell are they doing?!
[21:54] Zenzo
Hurry!
[21:55] Zenzo
Hurry back!
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Next Episode
Glasses Prevent You From Seeing Certain Things
[23:30] Zenzo
Next time:
[23:32] Zenzo
Glasses prevent you from
seeing certain things.
E208 - Glasses Prevent You From Seeing Certain Things
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Sa
It's like a dream come true!
[00:02] Sa
Gin-san buying a pair of glasses for me...
[00:06] Sa
I'll think of these glasses
as you and never let them go!
[00:10] Sa
I'll treasure them forever!
[00:13] Zenzo
I heard that you're not getting
any assassination work.
[00:16] Zenzo
Only makes sense after all the mistakes,
[00:18] ---
and you even injured your own men.
[00:21] Zenzo
They'll be coming for you.
[00:24] Zenzo
The Assassins of Assassins Squad!
[00:27] Zenzo
The Lethal Punishers!
[00:30] Sa
I'm sorry...
[00:32] Sa
They were a present from Gin-san...
[00:36] Sa
I promised to treasure them...
[00:41] Gin
You don't need to see a thing right now.
[00:44] Gin
Don't need to see a thing.
[00:46] Gin
When you wake up,
[00:48] Gin
there won't be any cracks in your vision.
[00:51] Gin
The Assassins of Assassins
of Assassins Squad!
[00:55] Gin
Lethal Odd Jobs is moving out!
[00:58] Zenzo
Is everybody in position?
[01:00] Shin
Roger.
[01:03] Zenzo
You all went to Don Quijote!
[01:04] Zenzo
Don Quijote...
[02:39] Zenzo
This sensation...
[02:41] Zenzo
Someone's here...
[02:43] Zenzo
two on the roof,
[02:45] Zenzo
one inside,
[02:47] Zenzo
and one in the yard...
[02:49] A
I can smell multiple humans.
[02:54] A
As expected.
[02:56] A
But it doesn't matter how many there are.
[02:59] A
This time, we'll finish her off
[03:02] A
along with the others.
[03:05] Zenzo
Th-They're here...
[03:07] Zenzo
The hell are they doing?!
[03:14] Zenzo
Hurry!
[03:15] Zenzo
Hurry back!
SIGN Glasses Prevent You From Seeing Certain Things
[03:27] Zenzo
Do you read me? Do you read me?
[03:29] Zenzo
Five suspicious figures on the premises.
[03:31] Zenzo
The Punishers have come!
[03:33] Zenzo
Get your asses back here!
[03:34] Zenzo
Sarutobi's completely helpless right now!
[03:36] Zenzo
I can't hold them off for long!
[03:38] Zenzo
I repeat!
[03:39] Zenzo
Get back to the house!
[03:41] Zenzo
Sarutobi's going to die, over!
[03:44] Shin
What?
[03:45] Shin
Gin-san, he said that the Punishers
are already there, over.
[03:47] Gin
Hold on.
[03:48] Gin
They have the enema type,
[03:50] ---
but they're out of the suppository, over.
[03:52] Shin
No, it's not for me!
[03:52] Zenzo
Forget about that already, over!
[03:54] Gin
Eh? You're the one who
told me to buy some, over.
[03:57] Zenzo
The situation has changed!
[03:59] Zenzo
This isn't the time to be
worrying about my anus, over!
[04:01] Gin
Screw that!
[04:02] Gin
I'm buying your damn Preparation H!
[04:04] Gin
Get your hemorrhoids ready, over!
[04:06] Zenzo
It won't be my ass that's
bleeding all over the place!
[04:07] Zenzo
I said to forget about it, over!
[04:09] Shin
Zenzo-san, I sent Kagura-chan
and Sadaharu back first.
[04:13] Shin
We'll be right behind them,
so you'll have to make
[04:15] ---
do with wet wipes in the meantime, over!
[04:17] Zenzo
Damn...
[04:18] Zenzo
My plan has been ruined by these fools.
[04:23] Zenzo
Do you read me?
[04:23] Zenzo
Zenzo here.
[04:25] Zenzo
Where are you, China girl? Over.
[04:30] Kagura
Who's there?!
[04:31] Kagura
Who are...
[04:32] Zenzo
Hey, what's wrong?!
[04:34] Zenzo
Did something happe--
[04:36] Zenzo
It can't be...
[04:37] Zenzo
China girl!
[04:41] Kagura
Are... Are...
[04:43] Kagura
Are you using SECOM?
[04:46] Zenzo
What kind of dream is that?!
[04:48] Zenzo
Why do you sound like a commercial
for a private security company?!
[04:51] Zenzo
And why are you asleep again?
[04:52] Zenzo
Why did you come back then, dammit?!
[04:54] Kagura
It's too late for us kiddies
and doggies to be up...
[05:00] Zenzo
Don't fall asleep!
[05:01] Zenzo
Wake up!
[05:02] Zenzo
Do you want to die with Sarutobi?!
[05:04] Kagura
Fine, fine.
[05:07] Kagura
I get it.
[05:09] Kagura
I'll keep my eyes open and stand watch.
[05:12] Zenzo
You think you can fool me with that?!
[05:16] Zenzo
Why are you sleeping next to Sarutobi?!
[05:18] Zenzo
Idiot!
[05:18] Zenzo
I'll have to go wake her up.
[05:30] N
Punisher No. 1
[05:31] N
Pillow Masa.
[05:33] N
He makes sure that his target's slumber
[05:34] N
is permanent by swapping
the target's pillow for one
[05:37] N
that has a bomb in the blink of an eye.
[05:38] N
An assassin who goes after
targets when they're asleep.
[05:40] Zenzo
H-Here he comes...
[05:42] Zenzo
At the worst possible time!
[05:47] Zenzo
A-A bomb!
[05:48] Zenzo
Hey! Wake up!
[05:50] Zenzo
Run away!
[05:52] Zenzo
A bomb...
[05:52] Kagura
Shut up!
[05:53] Zenzo
What?!
[05:54] Zenzo
Are you an idiot?!
[05:55] Zenzo
This isn't the time to be sleeping!
[05:57] Zenzo
Wake up!
[05:59] Masa
Hmph.
[06:00] Masa
Good night, ladies.
[06:09] Masa
I-It's so heavy!
[06:11] Masa
The pillow won't budge!
[06:13] Masa
What's wrong with this girl?!
[06:14] Masa
It's like her head is made out of lead!
[06:17] Zenzo
He insists on killing people by swapping
[06:20] ---
out their pillows?
[06:25] Masa
Don't take me lightly!
[06:27] Masa
I've disposed of many traitors
by swapping their pillows!
[06:31] Masa
I won't let this little girl...
[06:33] Masa
Won't let this little girl...!
[06:36] Masa
Got it!
[06:41] Masa
How sleepy can you be?!
[06:43] Masa
Let go of your damn pillow!
[06:46] Masa
There!
[06:49] Masa
Yes, that's more like it.
[06:52] Masa
Now, ladies,
[06:53] Masa
good night.
[06:54] Zenzo
This is bad!
[06:58] Masa
Huh?
[06:59] Kagura
I use SECOM...
[07:03] Zenzo
Hey!
[07:04] Zenzo
How can your sleeping be so violent?!
[07:21] Shin
Do you read me?
[07:22] Shin
Shimura here.
[07:24] Shin
I just heard an explosion in the yard.
[07:26] Shin
Is everything okay?
[07:27] Shin
Over!
[07:28] Zenzo
Well, I'm not sure what just happened,
[07:30] Zenzo
but one of them was taken out.
[07:31] Shin
Huh?!
[07:32] Zenzo
There are still four left.
[07:33] Zenzo
I'll move Sarutobi. We can meet somewhere else.
[07:36] Zenzo
Where are you?
[07:37] Shin
We already came back,
[07:39] Shin
but I got separated from Gin-san.
[07:41] Shin
I'm trying to find everyone
from a high place.
[07:43] Zenzo
High place?!
[07:45] Zenzo
You idiot!
[07:45] Zenzo
The enemy's gonna spot you!
[07:48] Shin
What am I supposed to do then?
[07:49] Shin
There we go!
[07:50] Shin
I can see you!
[07:52] Shin
I'm up here!
[07:54] Shin
Man, it's so hot.
[07:56] Shin
I bought a few t-shirts.
[07:58] Shin
Would you like to change into one?
[08:00] Zenzo
Behind you!
[08:01] Zenzo
Behind you, Shimura!
[08:06] Shin
Wh-Who are you?!
SIGN Punisher No. 2
[08:08] Tatsu
T-Shirt Tatsu.
[08:10] Tatsu
An assassin who specializes in t-shirts.
[08:11] Tatsu
He makes sure that his target
is permanently too tight
[08:13] Tatsu
by swapping the target's
medium-sized t-shirt for his own
[08:15] Tatsu
small-sized t-shirt in the blink of an eye.
[08:16] Shin
What the hell is an assassin
who specializes in t-shirts?!
[08:16] Tatsu
He is very proud of his t-shirts
[08:18] Shin
You're not even an assassin!
[08:18] Tatsu
and is a big fan of artistic t-shirts.
[08:20] Shin
You're just an old man in a t-shirt!
[08:22] Tatsu
Strip.
[08:24] Tatsu
Shut up and strip!
[08:25] Shin
Wait! Let me go!
[08:28] Zenzo
Hey, there's something wrong with this image!
[08:29] Zenzo
It's creeping me out!
[08:31] Zenzo
The hell are you people doing?!
[08:32] Zenzo
Who cares about a t-shirt?!
[08:33] Tatsu
It's so heavy!
[08:34] Tatsu
I can't take off his t-shirt!
[08:36] Tatsu
Is this a large instead of a medium?!
[08:40] Zenzo
Is there really that much of a difference?!
[08:42] Tatsu
Don't take me lightly!
[08:43] Tatsu
I've put on many tight t-shirts
[08:45] ---
by taking off such loose t-shirts!
[08:49] Tatsu
I won't let this large-sized t-shirt...
[08:50] Tatsu
Won't let this large-sized t-shirt...!
[08:54] Tatsu
Got it!
[08:57] Tatsu
He was wearing a small t-shirt to begin with!
[08:59] Zenzo
Who gives a damn?!
[09:01] Shin
Well, Gin-san took the medium one.
[09:05] Shin
Sorry about this.
[09:07] Tatsu
No, I should be the one to apologize.
[09:09] Tatsu
You should have told me that
you were wearing a small.
[09:11] Zenzo
What's going on?
[09:12] Zenzo
Why are small ones acceptable?
[09:13] Zenzo
What do you have against medium t-shirts?!
[09:15] Shin
Actually, I have a bunch
of small t-shirts here.
[09:18] Shin
You can have them if you'd like.
[09:19] Zenzo
What? I can try them on?
[09:21] Zenzo
What are you doing?! Do your job!
[09:23] Zenzo
Aren't you a Punisher?!
[09:24] Zenzo
Did you come here to try on t-shirts?!
[09:26] Tatsu
Whee! T-shirts are meant to be small!
[09:30] Tatsu
It feels so good to have the cloth
pulled tightly across your skin!
[09:34] Tatsu
Huh? This shirt is bigger than I expected.
[09:37] Shin
Oh, there weren't any mediums, but
there was a large one in there.
[09:40] Shin
That's okay though, right?
[09:47] Tatsu
You tricked me!
[09:49] Zenzo
Why?!
[09:50] Zenzo
Why would he die because
he put on a large t-shirt?!
[09:52] Zenzo
What's the story here?!
[09:55] Shin
I feel kinda bad.
[09:57] Shin
But now, there are only three left.
[10:00] Zenzo
Three?
[10:02] Zenzo
Did this guy even count?
[10:05] Gin
Sakata here.
[10:07] Gin
I just heard a small-sized t-shirt
being ripped apart in the yard.
[10:10] Gin
Is everything okay? Over.
[10:12] Zenzo
How could you hear that?!
[10:13] Zenzo
Is everything okay with your ears?!
[10:15] Gin
Oh, there you are.
[10:16] Shin
Gin-san, where'd you go?
[10:17] Shin
I was worried.
[10:19] Gin
Well, it's so hot.
[10:21] Gin
So I was digging through the
fridge for something cold.
[10:24] Gin
I found some Chuuberts.
[10:26] Zenzo
Don't you people have any sense of danger?!
[10:28] Zenzo
Why are you changing into t-shirts
and looking around for snacks
[10:31] ---
while assassins are running around?!
[10:33] Zenzo
And those Chuuberts are mine!
[10:35] Gin
Don't be stupid!
[10:36] Gin
I risked my life to grab these
[10:37] ---
Chuuberts while assassins are running around!
[10:40] Gin
They're mine!
[10:40] Zenzo
I was saving those for later!
[10:43] Zenzo
I'm never gonna let you have the grape one!
[10:45] ---
Now, now.
[10:46] Kagura
There's a grape and a soda,
[10:48] ---
so let's be nice and share.
[10:51] Zenzo
Why are you back awake like
nothing ever happened?
[10:53] Zenzo
How did a Chuubert wake up someone
[10:55] ---
who was knocked out by an explosion?!
[10:58] Kagura
If we break them in half, we'll have four.
[11:01] Kagura
I want soda.
[11:03] Gin
I want grape.
[11:05] Shin
I'll take soda then.
[11:06] Kagura
See? It worked out perfectly.
[11:10] Sa
G-Grape...
[11:17] Gin
She seems to be having a nightmare.
[11:19] Zenzo
Let's break them in half then.
[11:20] Sa
Grape!
[11:22] Ga
That's my choice...
[11:26] Gin
Hey!
[11:27] Gin
Why are you making requests while
[11:28] ---
pretending to have a nightmare?!
[11:30] Gin
Grape, my ass!
[11:31] Gin
Whose fault do you think this mess is?
[11:34] Shin
Gin-san! You shouldn't do
that to someone who's injured!
[11:36] Gin
She's obviously awake!
[11:37] Gin
She's only pretending to be asleep!
[11:39] Kagura
Not much we can do.
[11:40] Kagura
I guess the grape people will
have to do rock, paper, scissors
[11:42] ---
with the loser getting the knobs on the end.
[11:44] Zenzo
Don't be ridiculous!
[11:45] Zenzo
The soda people should join in then!
[11:46] Zenzo
I'd rather have a soda than the knobs!
[11:48] Kagura
No way!
[11:49] Kagura
This is a problem for the grape people!
[11:51] Kagura
Don't drag the soda people into this!
[11:53] Kagura
Right, Pachi-boy?
[11:54] Shin
I'm fine with grape or soda.
[11:57] Sa
Th-Then Pachi-boy gets left out...
[12:01] Shin
How can you say such terrible things while
[12:03] ---
having a nightmare, Sa-chan-san?!
[12:04] Shin
Gin-san! She's obviously awake!
[12:07] Gin
Then the loser gets both the knobs.
[12:10] All
Okay!
[12:10] Gin
First comes rock!
[12:12] All
Rock, paper...
[12:13] Shin
Huh? Hold on.
[12:14] Shin
Uh...
[12:16] Shin
Don't these Chuuberts look a little strange?
[12:19] Zenzo
How?
[12:19] Gin
Now that you mention it,
they seem a little clean.
[12:23] Gin
Huh?
[12:24] Gin
They don't have any knobs?
[12:25] All
Ah...
SIGN Punishers No. 3, 4
Assassins who specialize in Chuuberts. They make sure that their target is permanently suffering from a brother complex
[12:35] Chu
The Chuubert Chu Brothers!
[12:37] Chu
Refer to the caption for the
rest of our introduction!
SIGN by swapping the longer part of the Chuubert for the shorter part in the blink of the eye. Incidentally, the brothers split their own Chuuberts vertically.
[12:39] Gin
Don't bother coming up with an intro
if you're too lazy to give it!
[12:42] Chu
How unfortunate!
[12:44] Chu
We switched the longer parts
for the shorter parts!
[12:49] Chu
The shorter end is perfect for you fools!
[12:52] Chu
You get to experience the anguish
[12:53] ---
felt by a younger brother when relinquishing
[12:55] ---
the longer part to your older brother!
[12:58] Chu
Even though you aren't little brothers!
[13:04] Chu
Brother, it worked perfectly!
[13:06] Chu
The souls of our comrades will rest easy now!
[13:08] Chu
Let us return home and celebrate
with the longer parts of Chuuberts!
[13:12] Chu
This BGM is...
[13:13] Chu
There are others who are
able to use this BGM?!
[13:17] Chu
Brother!
[13:18] Chu
Th-There are Chuuberts...!
[13:20] Chu
Chuuberts in our asses!
[13:26] Chu
Y-You bastards!
[13:29] Zenzo
Give back...
[13:30] Gin
...the longer Chuubert parts.
[13:34] Chu
S-Spare us!
[13:35] Chu
We already ate them!
[13:36] Chu
Stupid brother!
[13:38] Chu
H-Hold on!
[13:39] Chu
We'll buy new ones for you!
[13:40] Chu
Promise!
[13:41] Chu
Please spare our lives!
[13:42] Chu
Please! We'll buy as many as you want!
[13:44] Chu
How many longer parts do you want?
[13:47] Chu
Wait! Wait!
[14:13] Gin
Yo.
[14:14] Gin
Sorry to keep you waiting, boss.
[14:16] Zenzo
We punished your Punishers.
[14:19] Gin
Four weak-ass Punishers.
[14:21] Gin
They need a special crash
course on the art of killing.
[14:24] Gin
Work 'em to the bone.
[14:27] Gin
Take this message to your superiors.
[14:29] Gin
If they want to crush Sa-chan the Assassin,
[14:31] Gin
they better send every killer they got.
[14:35] Boss
Don't worry.
[14:36] Boss
I already let them know.
[14:51] Boss
I knew that killing the top assassin
[14:54] ---
in Edo wouldn't be easy.
[14:57] Gin
I-I was just kidding, boss!
[15:00] Gin
Give me a break!
[15:02] Gin
It was just a joke!
[15:04] Gin
A little killer of a joke!
[15:07] Gin
You don't have to be so serious!
[15:09] Gin
Okay, there you have it!
[15:11] Gin
Everybody's dismissed!
[15:12] Gin
Good work!
[15:13] Gin
Sorry about the mix-up!
[15:16] Gin
Uh, are you listening?
[15:17] Gin
Really, I'm sorry!
[15:18] Gin
I'm apologizing!
[15:20] Zenzo
Hey! What do you think you're doing?!
[15:23] Zenzo
This is all because you got too cocky!
[15:25] Gin
That's because I thought it was
safe to start playing it cool!
[15:28] Zenzo
Don't give me that shit!
[15:29] Zenzo
I was coerced into helping these people!
[15:32] Zenzo
Keep them and let me go!
[15:33] Kagura
Bring it on!
[15:35] Kagura
If Gin-chan dies, his
soul will live on in us!
[15:40] Gin
Why are you making it sound like
I'm the only one who's gonna die?!
[15:42] Gin
You can live on inside me!
[15:45] Boss
Ayame Sarutobi, you have good friends.
[15:47] Gin
We aren't friends!
[15:49] Gin
We're total strangers!
[15:50] Gin
We have nothing to do with her!
[15:51] Boss
But your crime was to
succumb to your weakness.
[15:55] Boss
We don't need weak assassins.
[15:57] Boss
I have cut down many evil villains with
[16:00] Boss
this very blade to protect
Edo from the shadows.
[16:04] Boss
I cannot allow my blade to falter
[16:06] ---
for the sake of one weakling.
[16:10] Boss
If you need something to blame,
blame your own weakness.
[16:13] Boss
And your failure to protect
your own comrades!
[16:17] Shin
Gin-san!
[16:26] Zenzo
What?!
[16:28] Sa
The bells of Jetavana toll,
[16:31] Sa
echoing the impermanence of all things.
[16:35] Sa
The color of the flowers on the sal tree...
[16:38] Sa
Only the evil practice certain death.
[16:44] Sa
I won't let you lay a finger on these people.
[16:48] Sa
Or I'm not Sa-chan the Assassin.
[16:50] Shin
Sa-chan-san!
[16:52] Boss
So you've returned from the
depths of hell, Ayame Sarutobi.
[16:57] Boss
I was ready to grant you
[16:58] ---
a peaceful crossing of the River Styx.
[17:02] Boss
You intend to resist us
in your current state?
[17:05] Boss
I'm sure that you've already seen
[17:07] ---
how you stand no chance against us.
[17:12] Sa
I wouldn't know,
[17:14] Sa
since I have poor eyesight.
[17:19] Sa
But...
[17:20] Sa
I can see clearly now.
[17:22] Sa
How I was a fool.
[17:23] Sa
How kind everyone has been.
[17:25] Sa
How Zenzo's hemorrhoids are getting worse.
[17:27] Zenzo
What?
[17:28] Sa
And I now see what it is
that I must truly treasure.
[17:32] Sa
I can see everything
[17:33] Sa
without wearing these.
[17:37] Gin
Come on...
[17:39] Gin
That was harsh.
[17:42] Gin
Those glasses were a present.
[17:46] Sa
I'm still wearing...
[17:48] Sa
...the glasses you and everyone else gave me.
[17:51] Sa
I'm wearing the wonderful glasses
which let me see your souls...
[17:54] Sa
...on the inside.
[17:57] Sa
Thank you, Gin-san,
Shinpachi-kun, Kagura-chan.
[18:00] Sa
Who are you again?
[18:01] Zenzo
You just had to turn me
into the butt of a joke!
[18:04] Sa
I promise to treasure
the glasses you gave me.
[18:10] Boss
What difference will a
new pair of glasses make?
[18:14] Boss
You don't need glasses to see...
[18:16] Boss
...that imminent death approaches.
[18:19] Boss
With the Punishers on the case,
[18:22] Boss
your death is assured!
[18:38] A
I-Impossible!
[18:39] A
She's shooting beams from her glasses!
[18:47] Boss
Stand firm!
[18:48] Boss
Attack her glasses from behind!
[18:50] Boss
Aim for her glasses!
[18:52] Voice
Three enemies approaching at
seven meters from the left rear.
[18:55] Voice
Power levels are 120, 98, 111.
[18:59] Voice
They will attack after the
scene change. Prepare yourself.
[19:04] Sa
I can see! I can see! I can see!
[19:07] Sa
I feel like my entire
body is wearing glasses!
[19:09] Sa
I can see everything!
[19:10] Kagura
Go, Sa-chan!
[19:11] Shin
Show them the power of a glasses girl!
[19:13] Zenzo
The power of the Oniwaban!
[19:15] Gin
The power of Sa-chan the Assassin!
[19:17] Both
Give it to them!
SIGN Kill
[19:54] Sa
The Glasses School of Ninjutsu!
[19:56] Sa
Ultimate technique!
[20:03] Sa
Take this!
[20:05] Sa
Flight of the Hundred Glasses!
[20:24] Boss
I-Impressive, Ayame Sarutobi...
[20:29] Boss
You were able to accurately
place glasses of the
[20:33] ---
wrong prescription on every single Punisher.
[20:38] Boss
Y-You are Edo's greatest glasses gi--
[20:43] Boss
Assassin...
[20:47] Kagura
You did it!
[20:48] Kagura
Way to go, Sa-chan!
[20:50] Shin
You've finally mastered the
[20:52] ---
ultimate technique of the Glasses School.
[20:54] Zenzo
What is this Glasses School?
[20:55] Zenzo
I'm the only one who doesn't know it?
[20:56] Zenzo
You've all heard of it?
[20:58] Gin
You can tell that those glasses
were made by old Gengai.
[21:01] Gin
They're not bad.
[21:02] Zenzo
Are those even glasses?
[21:04] Zenzo
Wouldn't they be considered a weapon?
[21:05] Gin
I should ask him to make me a pair of glasses
[21:07] ---
that can see through clothes
and remove mosaic censors.
[21:10] Zenzo
Oh, could you ask him to make two pairs?
[21:13] Sa
Thank you.
[21:14] Sa
I couldn't have done it
without everybody's help.
[21:16] Gin
Hey, could you not look in this direction?
[21:18] Gin
I'm scared that you'll start shooting beams.
[21:19] Sa
It's a marvel.
[21:21] Sa
The world looks so beautiful
through these glasses.
[21:24] Sa
Take Zenzo's drab house.
[21:28] Sa
It looks so flashy that it's almost on fire.
[21:30] Zenzo
It really is on fire!
[21:31] Zenzo
You're shooting beams!
[21:32] Zenzo
The hell are you doing?!
[21:33] Sa
It must be because these glasses
were a present from all of you.
[21:36] Sa
How wonderful.
[21:37] Sa
I'm going to treasure them.
[21:41] Sa
Thank you so much!
[21:42] Sa
I love you, Gin-san!
[21:43] Zenzo
Wait!
[21:44] Zenzo
Don't walk around my home
with those glasses on!
[21:47] Shin
Gin-san,
[21:48] Shin
it seems that glasses
[21:49] ---
aren't meant to be given as a present,
[21:51] ---
even from loved ones.
[21:52] Kagura
Hmm?
[21:53] Kagura
Why's that?
[21:55] Shin
Because you can't regift them.
[21:58] Gin
Clever, but it rubbed me the wrong way.
[22:00] Gin
Hey, Kagura-kun.
[22:01] Gin
How about a shot of beams for Shinpachi?
SIGN Look forward to next time.
E209 - Nothing lasts forever, etc.
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Gin
Greetings, everyone.
[00:03] Gin
Today's ****** was ******* because
of the ******* ************,
[00:10] Gin
so we have a ******
special that's basically a !
SIGN Nothing Lasts Forever, Including Parents, Money, Youth, Your Room, Dress Shirts, Me, You, and the Gintama Anime
[01:51] Shin
Uh, excuse me.
[01:52] Shin
I had no idea what you said
[01:54] ---
at the beginning because of all the censoring.
[01:55] Gin
Read between the lines, Pachi-boy.
[01:58] Gin
Just look at what we're wearing.
[02:00] Gin
And a kotatsu in May?
[02:02] Gin
They're reusing old footage
for this conversation.
[02:05] Gin
Eight episodes into the new show and
[02:07] ---
we're already resorting to cheap tricks.
[02:08] Gin
And eight's supposed to be a lucky number?
[02:10] Gin
No wonder your name has
Japanese word for eight in it.
[02:11] Shin
What's that supposed to mean?!
[02:13] Kagura
The success of the movie led to the
TV series returning after one year.
[02:16] Kagura
Everything was going too smoothly.
[02:17] Kagura
This show is always on the
verge of falling apart.
[02:19] Kagura
The second series could end at any time.
[02:22] Kagura
We might as well air the same episode
eight times, starting next week.
[02:25] Kagura
Since Shinpachi's name has
the word for eight in it.
[02:26] Shin
We can't do that!
[02:29] Shin
And first, we have to figure out
[02:31] ---
what we're doing for the rest of this episode!
[02:32] Shin
If we keep reusing old footage
while babbling about nothing,
[02:35] Shin
the producers who were
so happy about the show
[02:37] ---
coming back will have to go back to apologizing to everyone.
[02:40] Gin
Well, let's play a song for now?
[02:42] Gin
A song for the valiant efforts
of Hasegawa-san, who's managed
[02:45] ---
to survive despite his dark future, much like this show.
[02:47] Gin
Take it away.
SIGN Cardboard...
SIGN "The God of Cardboard" MADAO
SIGN Cardboard...
SIGN They've taken everything away.
SIGN My home, my job, my salary.
SIGN I couldn't fight back
SIGN as I lost everything.
SIGN And then I...
SIGN became a middle-aged dumb-ass oldie.
SIGN They've taken everything away,
SIGN but the God of Cardboard gives stuff to me.
SIGN Cardboard can be transformed
SIGN into a bed.
SIGN At night,
SIGN cardboard keeps away the cold.
SIGN Cardboard...
SIGN O, God of Cardboard.
SIGN Cardboard...
SIGN I softly closed my eyes and went to sleep.
SIGN They've taken everything away.
SIGN My pride, my savings, my assets.
SIGN I couldn't fight back
SIGN as I wore down.
SIGN And then I...
SIGN Was still a middle-aged dumb-ass oldie.
SIGN They've taken everything away.
SIGN But the God of Cardboard gives stuff to me.
SIGN Cardboard can be transformed
SIGN into a house.
SIGN Cardboard keeps away prying eyes.
SIGN Cardboard...
SIGN O, God of Cardboard.
SIGN Cardboard...
SIGN I softly curled up into a ball.
SIGN Cardboard...
[06:17] Kagura
Who exactly benefited from this?
SIGN Special Announcement
SIGN The Gintama Movie Production Committee
[07:11] Zura
Is this the end?
[07:13] Zura
Instead of falling into enemy hands,
[07:16] Zura
we should finish this like warriors
[07:19] Zura
and cut open our bellies.
[07:23] Gin
Don't be a fool.
[07:27] Gin
Stand.
[07:33] Gin
If you have time to plan out a pretty death,
[07:36] Gin
why not live a pretty life to the very end?
[07:46] Gin
Let's do this, Zura.
[07:48] Zura
It's not Zura.
[07:51] Zura
It's Katsura.
[07:52] Katsura
The man's silver hair was lined with blood.
[08:03] Katsura
He tore across the battlefield...
[08:10] Katsura
...like a Yaksha.
SIGN Gintama the Movie II
SIGN Birth of the White Yaksha
SIGN Preview
[08:26] Tendo
This blessed land
[08:29] Tendo
should not be wasted on those barbaric apes!
[08:33] Sakamoto
Charge!
[08:36] Takasugi
Kiheitai! Follow my lead!
[08:45] Sakamoto
You just charged in by yourself.
[08:47] Sakamoto
You crazy in the head?
[08:49] Katsura
You shouldn't be talking.
[08:52] Sakamoto
Got that right.
[08:54] Takasugi
Here.
[08:56] Takasugi
Need a hand, Gintoki?
[08:59] Gin
Shut up!
[09:00] Gin
I don't need your help!
[09:11] Sakamoto
I've made up my mind.
[09:13] Sakamoto
I'm going into space.
[09:15] Sakamoto
This war is killing off my friends.
[09:21] Sakamoto
I'm sick of...
[09:23] Sakamoto
...watching friends die.
[09:38] Takasugi
I see...
[09:40] Takasugi
You were the one who...
[09:50] Takasugi
Gintoki!
[09:51] Gin
This guy is mine!
[09:54] Takasugi
Tsk!
[09:55] Takasugi
Back off!
[09:56] Gin
Shut up!
[10:21] Gin
Ma...
[10:24] Gin
Master Shoyo!
SIGN This is when it all began.
SIGN Coming next spring.
SIGN Also screening: Shinsengumi - Arrival in Kyoto -
SIGN Preorder Bonus
Everyone who preorders their tickets will receive Elizabeth 3D glasses!
[10:51] Shin
Man, I didn't expect the second movie
[10:54] ---
to cover this storyline.
[10:56] Gin
You bet.
[10:57] Gin
They're following up the success of
[10:59] ---
Gintama the Movie: Benizakura Arc the New Translation.
[11:02] Gin
And this isn't a rehash of one
of the arcs from the TV series.
[11:05] Gin
This is a completely original story.
[11:08] Kagura
No one thought that the fake movie scam
[11:11] ---
from Jump Anime Tour 2008 would become real.
[11:14] Gin
Grown-ups are scum.
[11:16] Gin
They're quick as lightning to ride on
[11:19] ---
the coattails of success.
[11:21] Shin
Fastest in the world, or so they claim.
[11:23] Kagura
At this rate, we can do a movie every year.
[11:26] Kagura
If this one is an original story,
[11:27] ---
the next one can be another remake of a TV arc.
[11:29] Kagura
After "Birth of the White Yaksha,"
[11:31] ---
we can do "Kagura and the Steel Troops."
[11:33] Shin
That arc doesn't exist!
[11:35] Shin
And you clearly copied that
title from someone else!
[11:37] Gin
Oh, I'm pretty sure that the
audience has noticed by now.
[11:41] Shin
Huh? Noticed what?
[11:43] Gin
Well, we're sitting here talking
about a second movie...
[11:48] Gin
...but it ain't gonna happen.
[11:50] Kagura
Life ain't easy for this series.
[11:56] Shin
I knew it.
[12:00] Shin
Wait!
[12:02] Shin
Stop lying through your teeth!
[12:04] Shin
We had a successful movie run
and the series is back on TV,
[12:08] Shin
and you're still trying to pull that crap?!
[12:10] Kagura
The successful movie only made
1/4 of what One Piece did.
[12:14] Gin
You know...
[12:16] Gin
The success of Gintama the Movie:
Benizakura Arc the New Translation
[12:19] Gin
was somewhat because we spent
[12:20] ---
four years lying about making a movie on the TV show.
[12:24] Gin
We aren't big daddies here.
[12:26] Gin
Can't plant our seed on an annual basis.
[12:27] Shin
What kind of metaphor is that?!
[12:29] Gin
So we'll need to spend time
setting up the next movie.
[12:34] Gin
In three years, when the next World Cup is.
[12:38] Kagura
Though this show might not make
[12:39] ---
it past the preliminaries for movie consideration.
[12:43] Shin
You guys aren't even trying, are you?
[12:47] Okita
Chief.
[12:48] Okita
Either way, the second movie
won't use this storyline.
[12:52] Shin
Okita-san.
[12:53] Hijikata
Birth of the White Yaksha?
[12:55] Hijikata
The Shinsengumi will look even worse.
[13:01] Okita
Exactly.
[13:03] Okita
So if there's a second movie,
[13:04] ---
it should be "Gintama the Movie: Okita Becomes a Sadist,
[13:07] ---
Hijikata Dies in the Wasteland."
[13:09] Hijikata
What kind of subtitle is that?!
[13:11] Hijikata
Why are you kind of copying
the title from someone else?!
[13:13] Hijikata
Why are you killing me off?!
[13:14] Kondo
Calm down, Toshi.
[13:16] Kondo
It doesn't matter if three years
pass until the next movie.
[13:19] Kondo
It doesn't matter if we
don't play a major part.
[13:20] Kondo
We will stay the course and
[13:22] ---
stand upright like true samurai!
[13:24] Hijikata
You need to change your course!
[13:27] Shin
Wait!
[13:28] Shin
Why are you naked again?!
[13:30] Kondo
Well, in a movie, an actress is
[13:34] ---
supposed to provide a nipslip or, I mean,
[13:37] ---
a little sexual tension!
[13:38] Shin
Kondo-san!
[13:39] Shin
S-Sis!
[13:40] Otae
Please, Shin-chan.
[13:42] Otae
We don't need any more movies
[13:44] ---
after the Benizakura Arc movie
[13:45] ---
where I was somewhat the main heroine.
[13:48] Shin
How selfish can you be?
[13:50] Kyubei
I strum a melody for Otae-chan.
[13:53] Kyubei
There is no other way.
[13:54] Shin
What are you talking about, Kyubei-san?!
[13:56] Kagura
Boss lady!
[13:57] Kagura
Let me be the heroine next--
[14:04] Zura
In the TV series, I may play a fool,
[14:05] Zura
but in the movies, I cut a dashing figure!
[14:09] Zura
All according to the law of movie-Gian!
[14:12] Okita
Takeshi!
[14:15] Hijikata
Wait up, Takeshi!
[14:18] Madao
Oh, sorry about that.
[14:20] Madao
The title of the next movie is
"MADAO and the Steel Troops."
[14:26] Madao
It was a lie?
[14:28] Kagura
I want to have a go at being the heroine.
[14:30] Otae
Then the three of us can be the
main characters of the next movie,
[14:32] ---
"Three for the Kill."
[14:33] Kyubei
I'll play Sengoku...
[14:35] Sa
You can't satisfy me by making me an extra!
[14:37] Gin
Stop it, stupid!
[14:38] Katsura
I am Gian!
[14:40] Hijikata
You stupid bully!
[14:41] Shin
Hey!
[14:42] Shin
What the hell's going on?!
[14:43] Shin
How are we supposed to stop this circus?!
[14:45] Gin
How would I know, fool?!
[14:46] Elizabeth
Man, look at you all whining.
SIGN Quit Smoking
[14:50] Elizabeth
That's why you're One Piece Quarter.
[14:53] Elizabeth
Actually, it took four years
to make 1/4 the amount.
[14:57] Elizabeth
So if you want to be number one,
[15:00] Elizabeth
you'll have to spend sixteen years preparing.
[15:02] Gin
Huh?
[15:04] Gin
What kind of logic is that?
[15:06] Elizabeth
Hey, Luffy Quarter.
[15:08] Gin
Huh?
[15:09] Elizabeth
Finish this.
[15:10] Gin
Hey!
[15:10] Gin
That's impossib--
[15:11] Elizabeth
Bye.
[15:12] Gin
Don't run away, dammit!
[15:14] Shin
Wh-What do we do, Gin-san?
[15:19] Gin
Can't help it.
[15:21] Gin
Everyone gather round!
[15:22] Gin
We'll have to go with that!
[15:27] Gin
Here we go!
[15:29] All
Three!
[15:30] All
Two!
[15:31] All
One Peace!
[15:52] Gin
Ask Mr. Ginpachi!
[15:55] All
Is back!
[15:58] Gin
Okay, it's been a while.
[16:00] Gin
Let's go straight to the first question.
[16:03] Gin
From someone with the pen name YNG:
[16:06] Gin
In episode 197, "Not Losing to the Storm",
[16:09] Gin
there was a scene where
Gin-san was hit in the balls.
[16:13] Gin
I'm a girl, so I don't
know how much that hurts,
[16:17] Gin
but a certain person said that
[16:19] ---
"it hurts as much as a direct ignore-defense attack
[16:22] Gin
on the abdominal area after a body blow
[16:23] ---
removed all of the abs and other protection down there."
[16:28] Gin
I don't understand what that means.
[16:29] Gin
Could you give me a simple
explanation of how much it hurts?
[16:33] Gin
This question has been
keeping me up at night.
[16:37] Gin
Okay, here's your answer.
[16:40] Gin
Abdominal area without
any abs makes no sense.
[16:43] Gin
Since you have abs,
[16:44] Gin
but no balls,
[16:46] Gin
it's hard to understand.
[16:48] Gin
I'll use a metaphor that's more romantic
[16:51] ---
so the girls will understand.
[16:53] Gin
Now, let us pretend
[16:55] Gin
that you are drinking tea
in a field of flowers.
[17:00] Gin
And then your pet bunny escapes.
[17:04] Gin
You run after it,
[17:08] Gin
but a prince on a white
horse happens to pass by.
[17:10] Gin
However, he doesn't have
enough time to react,
[17:14] Gin
and the white horse stomps on you.
[17:16] Gin
However, you were wearing
a helmet, so you're fine.
[17:20] Gin
But then the prince loses his
balance and is thrown off the horse
[17:25] Gin
and is about to hit the ground,
[17:28] Gin
when your butler catches him in mid-air
[17:30] Gin
since your butler used to be a gymnast.
[17:31] Gin
But since your butler strained
himself, his back gives,
[17:35] Gin
leaving him in excruciating pain.
[17:39] Gin
Your butler screams in pain.
[17:41] Gin
But then he wakes up.
[17:43] Gin
Yes, it was all his dream
[17:47] Gin
in a crappy book that left you in pain
[17:51] Gin
and your mother in more
pain as she watches you,
[17:53] Gin
and your father in even more pain
after he accidentally hit his balls.
[17:56] Gin
That kind of pain.
[18:00] Gin
After a long suspension, he's finally back.
[18:05] Gin
Yes, bringing chaos and
destruction back to class 3-Z...
[18:13] Takasugi
I simply destroy.
[18:16] Takasugi
Heartless and hardcore.
[18:17] All
Takasugi-kun!
SIGN Final Episode
[18:21] Gin
Hey.
[18:22] Gin
Close your textbooks.
[18:24] Gin
Now, Mr. Kakashi from class N
[18:27] ---
had his Sharingan stolen after school yesterday.
[18:30] Gin
There are quite a few suspects,
[18:33] Gin
but it's too much effort so I'm going
to pick someone from this classroom.
[18:37] Gin
Does anyone know anything?
[18:39] Kondo
Teach! Takasugi-kun looks suspicious!
[18:43] Kondo
He must be hiding the Sharingan
under that eye patch!
[18:46] Kondo
He wants to copy my Ninja Centerfold!
[18:49] Gin
Is that true, Takasugi?
[18:51] Gin
Kondo's centerfold is just above his hairy ass.
[18:54] Gin
You'll only be copying a bunch of ass hair.
[18:57] Takasugi
Heh, who would want that?
[19:00] Gin
There you have it.
[19:01] Gin
Well, I understand why the delinquent
Takasugi would be a suspect,
[19:05] Gin
but he doesn't need the Sharingan
to improve his image.
[19:09] Gin
After all, Takasugi already has
plenty of emo kiddie tendencies,
[19:12] Gin
such as being a delinquent,
wearing an eye patch,
[19:16] ---
and having a desire to destroy everything.
[19:18] Takasugi
You want me to destroy you?
[19:21] Gin
Well, I recommend that you refrain
from picking up new personality traits
[19:24] Gin
to boost your popularity
in the character rankings.
[19:28] Gin
You'll only confuse the audience
by adding to your character.
[19:32] Gin
New additions frequently fail hard.
[19:35] Gin
It happens all the time in anime sequels.
[19:37] Kagura
That's right.
[19:38] Kagura
Those characters tend to be written off
[19:40] ---
at the end of the second season.
[19:43] Shin
Teach, I feel sick.
[19:45] Shin
Can I go to the nurse's office?
[19:47] Shin
Shimura.
[19:49] Shin
You're going straight to the faculty office.
SIGN The End
[19:58] Shin
And so, did you enjoy the
Celebrating the 8th Episode
[20:01] ---
of the New Series with Another Boring Recap Special?
[20:03] Gin
Next week's episode will be
[20:04] ---
Celebrating the 9th Episode of the New Series with Another Recap.
[20:07] Shin
The hell it will!
[20:08] Shin
And yeah...
[20:09] Shin
If you're curious about next week,
[20:10] Shin
stick around after the ending credits.
[20:12] Kagura
Are you talking about Piramekino?
[20:14] Shin
No!
[20:15] Shin
If we aired a recap this week
and Piramekino next week,
[20:17] Shin
it wouldn't be a joke anymore!
[20:18] Shin
The show would be on the verge of fading out!
[20:21] Gin
Now, now.
[20:22] Gin
In any case, as long as nothing happens,
[20:25] ---
same time next week.
[20:27] All
Be there!
SIGN Preview
[21:56] Bar
What?
[21:57] Bar
You want to know who the strongest
person in the Kabuki District is?
[22:00] Bar
There are four monsters
on a level of their own.
[22:04] Bar
The Fierce and Divine Mademoiselle Saigo.
[22:07] Bar
Jirocho Doromizu the Gallant.
[22:09] Bar
Peacock Princess Kada.
[22:11] Bar
Empress Otose.
[22:14] Bar
The Kabuki District Four Devas
SIGN The Kabuki District Four Devas Arc
[22:18] Bar
are in control of the Kabuki District.
[22:21] Pirako
I have come to join Odd Jobs.
[22:24] Pirako
My name is Pirako Chin.
[22:25] Gin
Huh?! A killer?!
SIGN The arrival of one girl...
[22:27] Gin
This little twit?!
[22:28] Shin
This little girl works for the underworld?!
SIGN Signals trouble for the Kabuki District -
[22:31] Pirako
I only know how to decorate with flowers.
[22:34] Pirako
I'm here to turn the town where Jirocho is...
[22:37] Pirako
To turn the Kabuki District
into a garden of bright red!
[22:41] Kada
There is no reason for us to fight.
SIGN Four factions -
[22:44] Kada
After all, isn't our enemy Jirocho?
SIGN In an all-out war.
[22:48] Saigo
You bastards ready to have
your balls ripped out?!
SIGN Jirocho Doromizu the Gallant
SIGN drops in unexpectedly.
[22:56] Jirocho
You think you can take
my balls by teaming up?
[23:01] Otose
I don't have any members in my faction.
SIGN Emotions intertwine...
[23:06] Otose
They serve no use at all.
SIGN I'm sick of waiting for you to pay the rent. Take your fools and scram. Never come back to this town. -Otose
[23:09] Otose
They just happen to be...
[23:11] Otose
...my family.
[23:13] Gin
Gran!
[23:16] Jirocho
So you're the White Yaksha?
SIGN Two warriors who refuse to back down...
[23:18] Jirocho
There are plenty more like you out there.
[23:24] Gin
Crush us if you can.
[23:26] Gin
The Otose Family will
[23:29] ---
be paying our respects.
SIGN A Lawless Town Tends to Attract
a Bunch of Whoohooey Folk
SIGN -Otose
E210 - A Lawless Town Tends to Attract a Bunch of Whoohooey Folk
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:46] Bar
You want to know who the strongest
man in the Kabuki District is?
[01:49] Bar
You must be new in town.
[01:51] Bar
You won't last long with that attitude.
[01:55] Bar
Forget it.
[01:56] Bar
This town is on a whole different level.
[01:58] Bar
You got thugs, brawlers,
vigilantes, and rogue warriors
[02:01] ---
from all over Edo here.
[02:03] Bar
It's like a haven for hooligans.
[02:05] Bar
This is for your own good.
[02:06] Bar
Have a drink and go back
to the countryside.
[02:11] Bar
What's that?
[02:12] Bar
You want me to tell you about
the top dogs before you go?
[02:15] Bar
You really like this stuff.
[02:17] Bar
First, there are four monsters
on a level of their own.
[02:20] Bar
The Fierce and Divine
Mademoiselle Saigo.
[02:22] Bar
Jirocho Doromizu the Gallant.
[02:25] Bar
Peacock Princess Kada.
[02:26] Bar
Empress Otose.
[02:27] Bar
The four factions are in a
[02:29] ---
standoff which preserves a
fragile balance of power.
[02:33] Bar
Who would be the strongest in a fight?
[02:35] Bar
You wouldn't be able to
even scratch those beasts.
[02:38] Bar
Saigo and Jirocho, in particular,
were heroes during the Joi War.
[02:43] Bar
Well, they're too old
to go on a tear now.
[02:46] Bar
If you want someone
who's currently active,
[02:48] Bar
there's Katsuo Kurogoma,
[02:50] ---
a young leader in the Doromizu faction.
[02:52] Bar
He's the most feared man
in the Kabuki District now.
[02:56] Bar
You'll also find a few former
Joi in Saigo's faction.
[02:59] Bar
There are rumors about
[03:00] ---
Kada's faction having
ties to some crazy folk.
[03:06] Bar
Otose's faction?
SIGN Snack Otose
[03:08] Bar
It's just a bar, really.
[03:10] Bar
She's just an old lady
with a soft heart.
[03:13] Bar
But if you try any funny
business on her turf,
[03:18] Bar
you'll run into a certain guy.
[03:21] Bar
A guy who holds his own against
the Big Three by himself.
[03:24] Bar
One hell of a monster,
[03:27] Bar
with hair that's completely white.
[03:35] Bar
A demon...
[03:40] Pirako
That's too bad.
[03:41] Pirako
I was going to decorate your
[03:43] ---
completely white head with
some bright red flowers.
[03:46] Pirako
Your reputation precedes you.
[03:48] Pirako
The strongest man in
the Kabuki District...
[03:51] Pirako
Gintoki Sakata-san...
[03:53] Gin
Who are you...?
[03:57] Pirako
I didn't realize how
strong you were, Bro!
[04:00] Pirako
Could you take me in...
[04:03] Pirako
...as one of your underlings?
SIGN A Lawless Town Tends to Attract a Bunch of Whoohooey Folk
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[04:13] Shin
It's freezing.
[04:15] Shin
It's always so cold in the morning.
[04:20] Shin
Who is she?
[04:21] Shin
A drunk?
[04:22] Shin
Uh, excuse me.
[04:24] Shin
You'll catch a cold if you sleep here.
[04:26] Shin
Excuse me.
[04:27] Shin
Your snot has frozen.
[04:30] Pirako
Yikes, it's a raid!
[04:33] Shin
Wha-Wha-Wha--
[04:34] Shin
What are you doing?!
[04:36] Pirako
Which gang are you from?
[04:38] Pirako
If you try to lay a finger on my Bro,
[04:40] Pirako
I'll make some bright red flowers.
[04:42] Shin
What are you babbling about?!
[04:44] Shin
Wait a moment here!
[04:45] Shin
Wait!
[04:51] Kagura
It's too early for all this noise.
SIGN Snack Otose
[04:54] Pirako
I am the newest member of the
Odd Jobs gang, Pirako Chin.
[04:59] Pirako
It is an honor to meet
the big boss Otose.
[05:03] Pirako
I apologize for my behavior earlier.
[05:05] Pirako
I didn't realize that you were
the Bro's number one underling.
[05:09] Pirako
I'll make up for it by
cutting off my pinky.
[05:13] Gin
Hey, what the hell are you doing?
[05:16] Gin
I have nothing to do
with organized crime.
[05:17] Gin
And I don't want any underlings.
[05:19] Gin
And I told you to get lost already!
[05:21] Gin
You damn punk girl!
[05:22] Pirako
You're tearing out my hair!
[05:23] Pirako
The two of us can become the bosses
[05:26] ---
of the underworld, Bro!
[05:28] Gin
When did I ever say that I
wanted to be Darth Vader!
[05:30] Shin
What's with her?
[05:30] Pirako
Please! I have nowhere else to go!
[05:34] Otose
You come from a gang?
[05:37] Otose
I've heard rumors.
[05:38] Otose
The Uekibachi gang was having a
[05:40] ---
business quarrel with Jirocho's people.
[05:43] Otose
When a fight broke out,
there was a crazy girl who
[05:46] ---
took out the whole lot by herself.
[05:49] Otose
Her name was Pirako the killer.
[05:52] Gin
Huh?! A killer?!
[05:54] Gin
This little twit?!
[05:55] Shin
This little girl works
for the underworld?!
[05:58] Pirako
It's nothing to brag about.
[06:00] Pirako
I just happen to be good
at decorating with flowers.
[06:03] Pirako
Did you know?
[06:05] Pirako
The more evil someone is,
[06:06] ---
the more beautiful a flower they make.
[06:08] Pirako
And when I cut them up more, the
flowers are redder and prettier!
[06:11] Shin
Uh, I'm very sorry.
[06:13] Shin
I didn't mean to call you a little girl.
[06:15] Gin
You said you have nowhere to go?
[06:16] Gin
What happened to your former employers?
[06:18] Pirako
They're dead.
[06:20] Pirako
They were jumped by the Jirocho gang
[06:22] Pirako
and turned into a lovely garden.
[06:24] Pirako
There was a nice man
there who took me in,
[06:26] Pirako
and I always did what I was told,
[06:28] Pirako
so I don't know what to do now.
[06:30] Pirako
But I only know how to
decorate with flowers.
[06:34] Pirako
That's why I'm here.
[06:36] Pirako
I'm here to turn the
town where Jirocho is...
[06:38] Pirako
To turn the Kabuki District into a
garden of bright red flower garden!
[06:45] Pirako
Hey, hey, hey!
[06:46] Pirako
The Bro is passin' through!
[06:48] Kagura
Whatcha lookin' at, twerps? Eh?!
[06:51] Pirako
You wanna make something of it?!
[06:53] Kagura
Wanna make something of it?!
[06:55] Shin
This is bad. Very bad.
[06:56] Shin
We've picked up a really dangerous girl.
[06:58] Shin
She said she's going to turn the
Kabuki District into a flower garden.
[07:00] Shin
She means a sea of blood, doesn't she?
[07:02] Shin
She wants to use your strength
to get revenge on Jirocho.
[07:06] Gin
I-It'll be okay.
[07:08] Pirako
Hey! Wanna fight?
[07:08] Gin
She's a killer, but she's just a girl.
[07:11] Gin
She can't be stupid enough
to take on the big boss...
[07:13] Pirako
Look here, Bro!
[07:15] Pirako
Pretty flowers!
[07:17] Gin
See?
[07:17] Gin
She looks like a perfectly normal girl
[07:19] Gin
who happens to like flowers...
[07:21] Pirako
Gran, you been payin' all your fees?
[07:23] Kagura
Eh?!
[07:24] Gin
Don't make threats with
a smile on your face!
[07:27] Pirako
A gang needs money to run.
[07:31] Pirako
In return, we provide security.
[07:33] Gin
They're looking for security from us!
[07:36] Gin
Now listen to me.
[07:37] Gin
If you want to join Odd Jobs,
[07:39] ---
forget all that dark side stuff.
[07:41] Gin
You aren't Darth Vader.
[07:43] Gin
You're just an ordinary girl.
[07:45] Gin
You aren't Pirako Chin.
[07:47] Gin
From now on, you're Birako Man.
[07:49] Shin
What kind of name is that?!
[07:50] Pirako
Understood.
[07:51] Pirako
I'm Birabirako Man.
[07:53] Shin
No, you have an extra "bira" in there!
[07:54] Shin
Could you stop that?!
[07:55] Kagura
Hey, there's a cute
cake place over there!
[07:57] Kagura
You can learn how to be a girl
there, Birabirabirabirako Man!
[08:02] Shin
Enough with the "birabira" already!
[08:03] Pirako
This is kind of embarrassing.
[08:06] Pirako
I've never been in a
place like this before.
[08:08] Pirako
Do I stand out?
[08:09] Gin
Not at all.
[08:11] Kagura
You look perfectly natural here!
[08:13] Shin
You guys stand out like sore thumbs.
[08:15] Shin
Don't worry about it,
Birabirabirabirako-san.
[08:18] Shin
You look like a very normal...
[08:20] Shin
No, a very cute girl.
[08:22] Pirako
Huh?
[08:23] Shin
You should drop the gangster act.
[08:25] Shin
It's such a waste.
[08:26] Shin
Oh, sorry about trying
to boss you around.
[08:29] Shin
Come on, what are you doing?
[08:31] Shin
Eat your cake.
[08:32] Shin
If you don't eat your cake, I'll eat it.
[08:38] Pirako
A cockroach was chewing on my cake.
[08:40] Pirako
It's too dirty for me to eat.
[08:43] Pirako
What are you going to
do about this, dammit?
[08:45] Shin
Hey! Are you saying I'm a cockroach?!
[08:47] Pirako
I'm actually kind of a clean freak.
[08:49] Pirako
Gangster stuff aside.
[08:51] Shin
Gangster stuff aside?!
SIGN Morimioto Candy
[08:52] Shin
So you just hate me, period?!
[08:55] Gin
No sweat. That wasn't your fault.
[08:56] Kagura
Nothing wrong there.
[08:57] Kagura
That's how a normal girl would react.
[08:58] Shin
Why are you defending her?!
[09:00] Shin
Don't make it sound like every
single girl is anti-Shinpachi!
[09:03] Gin
If you act gangster again,
you get another "bira" tacked on.
[09:06] Gin
At least your name will feel more girly,
[09:08] ---
Birabirabirabirabirako Man.
[09:10] Shin
How is that name girly?!
[09:11] Shin
It makes her sound like
a "birabira" monster!
[09:13] Shin
Enough already!
[09:15] Kagura
Hey, there's a cute
dried fish place, !
[09:18] Shin
Watch your mouth!
[09:19] Kagura*
Whoa, look at this, Birako Man!
[09:21] Kagura
They're all dried! They're all hard!
[09:23] Shin
And wait, you're just taking
[09:23] Pirako
Ooh, it's so cute!
[09:25] ---
her to the places you want to go!
[09:26] Pirako
Why is it so dry?
[09:27] Shin
What's so girly about dried fish?!
[09:30] Pirako
Bro!
[09:31] Pirako
Oh, sorry...
[09:34] B
Bro! What's wrong?!
[09:36] A
It's broken!
[09:37] A
The impact broke it!
[09:40] Shin
Here comes the real thing!
[09:42] Shin
This is bad.
[09:42] B
Hey, girl!
[09:43] Shin
We were making progress,
[09:43] B
Whatcha gonna do about this?
[09:44] ---
but they're going to stimulate
her gangster blood.
[09:45] Kagura
Gran, give me some sukonbu.
[09:47] Shin
If they're from Jirocho's faction...
[09:49] Gin
Bah, can't help it.
[09:52] Shin
Gin-san! No violence!
[09:54] Gin
I know.
[09:55] Gin
I'll settle this in a mature
and gentlemanly fashion.
[09:59] Gin
Excuse me, did my friend
do something wrong?
[10:02] A
Huh? Who are you?
[10:05] Pirako
B-Bro!
[10:06] Pirako
What's wrong?
[10:07] Gin
I-It's broken...
[10:09] Gin
Th-The pat on the shoulder
shattered all of my bones!
[10:13] Shin
You're doing the exact same thing!
[10:15] A
What do you mean, pat on the shoulder?
[10:17] A
You're the one who patted
me on the shoulder!
[10:19] Pirako
So, what are you going to do about this?
[10:22] Shin
Hey!
[10:23] Shin
You're making it worse!
[10:25] Kagura
That won't do! Calm down, Birako!
[10:27] Gran
Here's your change.
[10:29] Shin
Why are you pretending
to break your bones?!
[10:32] Gin
Uh, you broke your arm,
[10:34] Gin
while two of us broke all of our bones.
[10:36] Gin
Can we call it even?
[10:38] A
You broke your own bones!
[10:40] A
That girl wasn't anywhere near us!
[10:43] B
Bro, that's enough.
[10:45] B
He's the one who's with Otose...
[10:47] A
What?
[10:49] A
Oh...
[10:50] A
He's the one who took
on Big Bro Katsuo...
[10:53] Shin
Katsuo Kurogoma...
[10:54] Shin
So they belong to Jirocho's gang.
[10:56] Gin
All of my bones have been broken...
[10:59] Gin
Could you let this one slide?
[11:01] B
B-Bro, we should go...
[11:02] A
I'll let you go today.
[11:06] A
Now come with me.
[11:07] Pirako
Huh?
[11:08] A
I don't have any business with him,
[11:09] A
but I'll need you to pay up
[11:12] A
by using that body of yours...
[11:15] Pirako
N-No! Bro!
[11:17] Shin
Please wait a moment!
[11:18] A
Stop struggling!
[11:20] A
You damn bitch!
[11:23] A
Huh?
[11:24] A
I thought your bones were all broken?
[11:27] Gin
And your arm?
[11:28] Gin
It seems to be in...
[11:31] Gin
...terrible shape!
[11:35] Shin
N-Now he's done it!
SIGN Matsuo to Kiyoshi
[11:40] B
Bro!
[11:41] B
Snap out of it, Bro!
[11:43] Shin
Wha-Wha--
[11:43] B
Bro!
[11:44] B
Wake up, Bro!
[11:45] Shin
What the hell are you doing?!
[11:47] Shin
Why did you make the first move?!
[11:49] Gin
Well, he was taking advantage
of my gracious behavior.
[11:53] Gin
I just gave him a little flick.
[11:54] Shin
The hell you did!
[11:55] Shin
You sent him flying through the air!
[11:56] Pirako
You rule, Bro!
[11:58] Pirako
I think I'm in love.
[11:59] Pirako
Now we have no choice but to
fight it out with Jirocho.
[12:03] Pirako
Together, we can make
lots of red flowers
[12:05] ---
and become the bosses of Japan.
[12:09] Gin
Damn it!
[12:10] Gin
You tricked me!
[12:12] B
Bastards!
[12:12] Gin
That's not funny!
[12:13] B
You won't get away with this!
[12:14] Gin
I'm not gonna pick a fight with Jirocho!
[12:15] B
This means war!
[12:16] Gin
I ain't gonna fight a war!
[12:18] Shin
Gin-san! You're starting
the war as we speak!
[12:21] Gin
Pipe down!
[12:22] Gin
Calm yourself!
[12:23] Gin
Calm yourself and look
around for Dryaemon.
[12:25] Shin
You need to calm down!
[12:26] Kagura
It's okay, Ginta-kun!
[12:28] Kagura
I have just what you need!
[12:29] Kagura
Ready-mix concrete!
[12:32] Shin
What are you going to do with that?!
[12:33] Kagura
Shut up!
SIGN Matsuo to Kiyoshi
[12:34] Kagura
If we stick Giannosuke
and Suneorochimaru
[12:35] ---
in here and toss it in the ocean,
[12:37] Kagura
we can basically shut them up forever!
[12:40] Kagura
Lady Shizuka will be yours!
[12:42] Shin
Hell no!
[12:43] Shin
You'll scare off Lady Shizuka!
[12:45] Katsuo
Pops, give me the usual dog food...
[12:50] Katsuo
Looks like a fight's going down.
[12:53] Katsuo
What's...
SIGN Kabuki District Council Meeting Room
[12:56] A
We will now begin the Ka-Kabuki
District Council Meeting.
SIGN Kabuki District Clean Up Project
[13:01] A
The topic today is separating trash...
[13:07] All
Get lost, trash.
[13:08] A
Yes!
[13:09] A
Excuse me!
[13:17] Otose
So what's this about?
SIGN The Kabuki District's Empress Otose
[13:18] Otose
Why did you call us here?
[13:20] Otose
I don't recall ever failing
to separate my trash.
[13:22] Saigo
You just did.
[13:24] Saigo
Why is this stinkin' garbage of a hag
SIGN The Fierce and Divine Mademoiselle Saigo
[13:27] ---
mixed in with us beauties?
[13:29] Otose
You shouldn't be talking.
SIGN Peacock Princess Kada
[13:32] Kada
I'm glad to see that
you haven't changed.
[13:35] Kada
I apologize for taking up your time.
[13:38] Kada
But you'll have to wait a little longer.
[13:39] Kada
We're missing a member.
[13:41] Otose
Jirocho?
[13:42] Otose
There's no point.
[13:43] Otose
It's been two or three years
since he was last seen in public.
[13:47] Kada
I was hoping to have all four
Devas present for this discussion.
[13:51] Kada
I called you here for one reason.
[13:55] Kada
You are probably aware that
[13:57] ---
the town has grown tense
the past few years.
[14:01] Kada
If nothing is done,
a war will break out.
[14:04] Kada
I'm sure that nobody wishes
for that to happen.
[14:08] Saigo
Listen to yourself.
[14:09] Saigo
You and Jirocho are the
ones making a splash.
[14:13] Saigo
It used to be that the casinos
[14:15] ---
in this town were run by Jirocho's gang.
[14:17] Saigo
But then you built a casino here.
[14:21] Kada
The same could be said of you, Saigo.
[14:24] Kada
I've heard tales
[14:26] Kada
that you're sheltering Joi
patriots and rogue warriors.
[14:29] Saigo
Huh?
[14:30] Kada
Your soldiers may be dressed oddly,
[14:32] Kada
but each one of them is quite strong.
[14:35] Kada
You plan on using their strength
[14:37] ---
to create an empire of trannies...
[14:39] Saigo
What are you talking about?
[14:41] Saigo
I'm offering a home to those
who have no place to go.
[14:44] Kada
But the fact remains that
you've repeatedly refused
[14:47] ---
to accept the demands of Jirocho's gang.
[14:51] Kada
And Otose...
[14:53] Otose
I have no interest in your stupid fight,
[14:55] ---
and I'll have none of it.
[14:58] Kada
You may have no interest,
[14:59] ---
but you've always held great
influence in this town.
[15:02] Kada
I've heard that you listen to the
[15:04] ---
problems of your customers
and offer counseling.
[15:07] Kada
And your pawns in that
sketchy Odd Jobs group
[15:11] ---
provide the necessary assistance.
[15:13] Kada
They've been running wild
across our territory.
[15:17] Otose
I never knew that I had
pawns I could order around.
[15:21] Otose
And I never knew that this town
[15:24] ---
had been divided up into territories.
[15:29] Otose
This town doesn't belong to anyone.
[15:32] Otose
We just live our lives here.
[15:36] Otose
That's all.
[15:39] Kada
However, some are not satisfied by that.
[15:42] Kada
These days, we are
known as the Four Devas
[15:45] ---
who work together to run this town,
[15:48] Kada
but didn't it all begin with the
[15:52] ---
rise of a new faction,
a king of hooligans?
[15:56] Kada
There is no reason for us to fight.
[15:59] Kada
After all,
[16:01] Kada
isn't our enemy Jirocho?
[16:03] Jirocho
I see how it is.
[16:05] Jirocho
The three of you are teaming up
[16:08] ---
to get rid of Jirocho, the obstacle.
[16:11] Otose
Well, well.
[16:12] C
Wait up!
[16:14] Shin
It's over! This is war!
[16:16] Shin
This is all-out war!
[16:18] Shin
Gin-san!
[16:19] Shin
This is out of control!
[16:21] Kagura
Ginta-kun is off on a
rendezvous with Lady Shizuka.
[16:24] Shin
Huh?!
[16:24] Shin
The bastard used us as decoys!
[16:27] Shin
I'll get you for this!
[16:37] Pirako
It looks like they're gone, Bro.
[16:40] Pirako
Things are getting fun.
[16:43] Gin
What's so fun about this?
[16:45] Gin
Time to bust out an old cliche.
[16:48] Gin
Revenge isn't fun for anyone.
[16:52] Gin
I'm sure that your dead friends
[16:54] ---
would want you to live
like an ordinary girl
[16:56] Gin
instead of letting revenge
take over your life.
[17:01] Pirako
Bro...
[17:03] Pirako
Why do you keep talking about revenge?
[17:07] Gin
Uh, wasn't your gang
slaughtered by Jirocho?
[17:11] Gin
So you want revenge...
[17:13] Pirako
What are you talking about?
[17:15] Pirako
My gang was crushed by Jirocho,
[17:17] Pirako
but they're all alive.
[17:19] Gin
Huh?
[17:20] Gin
But you said they were
turned into a flower garden.
[17:22] Pirako
They quit the business
to become farmers.
[17:25] Pirako
They've planted a garden of red flowers.
[17:26] Pirako
It's a pretty place.
[17:28] Pirako
But it was boring, so I left.
[17:32] Gin
Huh?!
[17:33] Gin
Could you be any more misleading?!
[17:36] Gin
We've been trying to subtly convince you
[17:39] ---
to give up on revenge because
of your dark past...
[17:43] Gin
So wait?
[17:44] Gin
Why are you here?
[17:48] Pirako
Like I said,
[17:49] Pirako
I'm here to decorate Jirocho
and this town in red flowers.
[17:53] Gin
Enough of that.
[17:54] Gin
Give it to me straight.
[17:55] Pirako
I mean exactly what I say.
[17:57] Pirako
I'm here to help the great
Jirocho bloom again.
[18:02] Pirako
For that,
[18:03] ---
I need the help of the strongest
man in the Kabuki District!
[18:06] ---
That's you, Bro!
[18:08] Gin
Got it.
[18:09] Gin
In other words, your
mind is full of flowers,
[18:12] Gin
and it's a waste of time
to bother talking with you.
[18:15] Gin
In that case, this is farewell...
[18:24] Pirako
Bro, the bond between gang
members isn't easily broken.
[18:30] Gin
I don't have a bond with
a plastic trash can!
[18:33] Gin
The concrete's hard now!
[18:35] Gin
This is all because you kept on talking!
[18:38] Gin
What do we do?!
[18:39] Gin
What's going to happen?!
[18:40] Katsuo
Well, that's easy enough.
[18:42] Katsuo
You get served the treatment
[18:45] Katsuo
you were gonna deal.
[18:50] Saigo
Y-You're...
[18:52] Jirocho
Sorry to keep you waiting.
[18:55] Jirocho
The obstacle's here.
[18:58] Saigo
Jirocho...
[19:00] Jirocho
Don't mind me.
[19:01] Jirocho
Carry on.
[19:04] Jirocho
I believe the three of you were talking
about teaming up to get rid of me?
[19:08] Kada
We never said anything about that.
[19:11] Kada
I simply mentioned that our wish
to avoid any pointless conflict
[19:14] Kada
was being ruined by an
unstoppable loose cannon.
[19:18] Jirocho
I would take him out.
[19:20] Jirocho
Some fools in this world
can only be cured by death.
[19:24] Jirocho
But I wouldn't arrange
a meeting like this.
[19:28] Jirocho
Look.
[19:29] Jirocho
Your necks are all lined up
within range of my blade.
[19:37] Jirocho
One of the Peacock Princess's pets, huh?
[19:39] Kada
Stand down.
[19:40] Kada
He's merely joking.
[19:41] Jirocho
No, he made the correct decision.
[19:44] Jirocho
This pet was trained well to
be able to detect my hostility.
[19:50] Jirocho
Unfortunately, I'm getting old,
[19:53] Jirocho
so I have trouble controlling
my piss and my hostility.
[19:56] Jirocho
I already sheathed my blade,
but it keeps trickling out...
[20:00] Jirocho
Case in point.
[20:02] Jirocho
You didn't notice me taking you out.
[20:09] Kada
I said to stop this!
[20:11] D
What do you think you're
doing to the boss?!
[20:13] D
Take them!
[20:14] A
You've shown your true colors!
[20:16] A
We won't let you lay a finger on Mama!
[20:23] Saigo
You were eavesdropping on a
conversation between ladies?
[20:27] Saigo
You bastards ready to have
your balls ripped out?!
[20:31] Jirocho
Stand down, boys.
[20:33] A
Boss!
[20:38] Jirocho
Ordinary humans have no place here.
[20:42] Otose
Good grief.
[20:44] Otose
How do you intend to
stop these monsters?
[20:47] Otose
If you have any ideas,
I'd love to hear them.
[20:50] Kada
As you saw, power can only
be restrained by more power.
[20:56] Kada
Here is my proposal.
[20:59] Kada
The factions of the Four Devas are
[21:01] ---
not allowed to engage
in personal fights.
[21:04] Kada
The faction which breaks this rule
[21:09] Kada
will be crushed by the other three.
[21:14] Jirocho
So in the end, it'll still be the three
[21:16] ---
of you teaming up against me?
[21:20] Jirocho
You think you can take
my balls by teaming up?
[21:25] Kada
Don't get the wrong idea.
[21:27] Kada
This rule is to prevent
further conflict.
[21:30] Otose
The town will be a dull
place if nobody can fight.
[21:34] Saigo
If that's the only way to
avoid a war, then so be it.
[21:40] Jirocho
Are you sane?
[21:42] Jirocho
Very well.
[21:44] Jirocho
It'll be a test of endurance.
[21:47] Jirocho
Try not to screw up before I do.
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Next Episode Preview
SIGN Their past is revealed...
SIGN A battle pitting Gintoki
against Jirocho...
SIGN Ghosts Aren't the Only Ones Who Run Wild Around Graveyards
[1:31:46] ---
#Eyecatch
E211 - Ghosts Aren't the Only Ones Who Run Wild Around Graveyards
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Ghosts Aren't the Only Ones Who Run Wild Around Graveyards
[01:37] A
Boss!
[01:38] A
You really sure about this?
[01:40] A
If one faction causes trouble,
[01:42] ---
the other three gang up to crush it?
[01:44] B
It's obvious that they
want to get rid of us!
[01:48] Jirocho
I'd say that this saves time.
[01:51] Jirocho
This is a chance to show them who the
[01:53] ---
real king of the Kabuki District is.
[01:55] C
But that means we'll have
to deal with Otose...
[01:59] Jirocho
My memory's been getting worse.
[02:02] Jirocho
Who is this Otose person?
[02:06] B
Idiot!
[02:07] B
We're not supposed to mention the hag
[02:08] ---
while the boss is around!
[02:10] Jirocho
The vixen is not as much
of a concern as the cub.
[02:14] Jirocho
Focus on him.
[02:17] Jirocho
Damn.
[02:18] Jirocho
What is that kid doing?
[02:23] Otose
You were dancing to her tune.
[02:26] Otose
That's not like you.
[02:27] Otose
Kada is using you to get rid of Jirocho,
[02:30] ---
who's hurting her business.
[02:33] Saigo
I just want to live peacefully
[02:35] ---
in this town with my comrades.
[02:37] Saigo
I'll dance a waltz or octopus
dance if that's what it takes.
[02:41] Otose
So you can clean up this
town by eliminating him?
[02:45] Otose
Even if that were true,
[02:47] Otose
I could never bring
myself to love a town
[02:49] ---
that's neat and tidy.
[02:51] Saigo
Spoken like a true trashy old hag.
[02:53] Saigo
I believe that you're old friends
[02:54] ---
with the trashy old geezer?
[02:56] Otose
Haven't talked to him in over ten years.
[02:58] Otose
Doesn't really matter if a
dangerous old man dies or not.
[03:02] Otose
But...
[03:04] Pirako
I'm here to turn the town
[03:06] ---
where Jirocho is into a garden.
[03:08] Otose
The timing's too perfect.
[03:11] Katsuo
Finally, it's time for payback.
[03:14] Katsuo
Like I said before,
[03:16] Katsuo
I always return the
favor, seven for three.
[03:21] Gin
Nobody parts their hair 7:3 anymore.
[03:23] Gin
You should shave your head
[03:24] ---
and opt for the bald look.
[03:26] Katsuo
Up yours!
[03:27] Katsuo
My hair is styled like Joe Odagiri!
[03:31] Katsuo
Fashion trends come back in a cycle!
[03:33] Gin
Hold on here.
[03:34] Gin
I was egged on by this stupid girl.
[03:36] Gin
I have no grudge against you, Joe Schmo.
[03:39] Katsuo
Who are you calling Joe Schmo?!
[03:41] Katsuo
Besides, that's not what
my boy here told me.
[03:44] Katsuo
I know what's going down.
[03:45] Katsuo
You promised to
[03:46] ---
help her decorate our
boss with red flowers.
[03:49] Gin
How do you know that?
[03:50] Katsuo
Why don't you tell him what you really
[03:52] ---
mean when you say red
flowers, Pirako-han?
[03:55] Gin
Uh, Pirako-chan?
[03:57] Gin
U-Uh, are you...
[04:00] Pirako
Bro, my boss was
[04:02] ---
a relative of Jirocho,
and an old friend.
[04:07] Pirako
He used to tell me when I was young,
[04:10] Pirako
about the great Jirocho,
warrior among warriors.
[04:16] Boss
The warriors you see around these days
[04:18] ---
are just a bunch of wild hotheads.
[04:19] Boss
But he was different.
[04:22] Boss
He would save the weak
and crush the strong.
[04:25] Boss
He would only employ his strength
[04:26] ---
for the sake of his particular justice.
[04:29] Boss
That's what you call a true warrior.
[04:32] Pirako
That's too hard for me to understand.
[04:35] Boss
Sorry about that.
[04:36] Boss
The more I talk, the less sense I make.
[04:40] Boss
Basically, Jirocho was a flowery man.
[04:44] Boss
That's probably what
drew your mother to him.
[04:49] Boss
Though the flowers in him
died at some point...
[04:56] Pirako
He abandoned his wife and child,
[04:58] Pirako
and crushed his wife's
family because of business.
[05:01] Pirako
And now he's picking a stupid fight
[05:04] ---
with a tranny and an old hag.
[05:09] Pirako
I just want to see the old
Jirocho one more time.
[05:14] Pirako
To help him take the world...
[05:16] Pirako
To help make some pretty
flowers bloom in my old man.
[05:22] Gin
Huh? What's she talking about?
[05:24] Gin
That went completely over my head.
[05:26] Gin
What? What?!
[05:28] Katsuo
There you have it.
[05:29] Katsuo
Pirako-han is...
[05:30] Katsuo
No, the young lady is
[05:33] Katsuo
Jirocho's daughter!
[05:35] Katsuo
To be precise, she's the daughter of the
[05:37] ---
missus who divorced the boss
and went back to her family.
[05:39] Gin
Bullshit!
[05:40] Gin
Help your old man take the world?!
[05:42] Gin
That's the complete opposite of revenge!
[05:45] Pirako
Isn't that what I said?
[05:47] Pirako
I'm here to decorate him with flowers.
[05:48] Gin
You were talking about making
me the big boss of Japan!
[05:52] Gin
You were trying to
make me fight Jirocho!
[05:54] Pirako
Yakuza grow stronger by recruiting
the people they beat.
[05:59] Pirako
My old man can take the
world if the strongest
[06:01] ---
man in the Kabuki
district is on his side.
[06:03] Pirako
Once you're the big boss,
[06:05] ---
my old man will be the big, big boss!
[06:07] B
Young lady, it's settled.
[06:10] Pirako
Bro, the Jirocho gang will
be making their move now.
[06:14] Pirako
Do you know what's happened?
[06:16] Pirako
There's a law in this lawless town now.
[06:19] Pirako
If any faction starts a fight,
[06:22] Pirako
the other Devas will crush them.
[06:25] Pirako
The first victim will probably be
[06:27] ---
the boss of a certain someone
[06:29] Pirako
who picked a fight with the Jirocho gang
[06:30] Pirako
over a helpless little girl, Otose.
[06:33] Pirako
But it's your call to make, Bro.
[06:36] Pirako
Please join us!
[06:38] Pirako
Or else we'll have to
drop you in the ocean,
[06:41] Pirako
and Otose will be targeted by
everyone in the Kabuki district!
[06:45] Gin
Hey, I'm guessing that's
supposed to be a threat,
[06:48] Gin
but if you kill me here,
[06:49] ---
you'll be considered the aggressors.
[06:52] Katsuo
You an idiot?
[06:54] Katsuo
Why do you think we put on a show
[06:56] ---
in the middle of town?!
[06:58] Katsuo
We got plenty of witnesses!
[07:00] Gin
You're the idiots!
[07:01] Gin
The Four Devas aren't gonna
move because of a little spat!
[07:04] Gin
A death is far more serious!
[07:07] Gin
Die, baldie!
[07:07] Gin
Go bald down your parted hair line!
[07:09] Gin
Go bald all over your body!
[07:09] Katsuo
I ain't gonna go bald!
[07:10] Katsuo
Every week, I part my
hair to the opposite side
[07:12] ---
to avoid excessive damage to my scalp!
[07:15] Katsuo
I ain't like Sanshi Katsura!
[07:19] Pirako
If that's not enough, how's this?
[07:23] Pirako
We'll say that you killed
our young leader here,
[07:25] ---
and we killed you for revenge.
[07:27] Katsuo
Huh? No way...
[07:35] All
Bro!
[07:36] Pirako
Is your boss the guy
with the parted hair?
[07:39] Pirako
Or is it Jirocho?
[07:41] D
B-But...
[07:42] Pirako
If you move, I'll turn
you all into flowers.
[07:48] Pirako
Got it, Bro?
[07:50] Pirako
I'm serious.
[07:52] Gin
D-Damn you!
[07:58] F
Bastard!
[07:59] F
He jumped into the water
with the concrete!
[08:00] D
Is he trying to escape?!
[08:02] Pirako
Nope.
[08:03] Pirako
He went to save him.
[08:05] F
That's stupid!
[08:06] F
He can't move!
[08:07] F
And why would he save Bro?!
[08:09] Pirako
Yes, he's stupid.
[08:11] Pirako
I was very surprised.
[08:14] Pirako
But that's why I wanted him on our side.
[08:18] Pirako
But he also chose the old hag.
[08:22] Pirako
Pity.
[08:24] Pirako
Bye-bye, Bro.
[08:27] Kada
Pity.
[08:29] Kada
I came up with this
plan so the three of us
[08:32] ---
could deal with Jirocho,
[08:34] Kada
but I never would have
expected Otose to...
[08:37] Agomi
Don't be ridiculous!
[08:39] Agomi
Otose-san would never...
[08:40] Agomi
Pako would never do anything like that!
[08:42] Agomi
We know how gentle they are!
[08:46] A
Calm down, Assmi!
[08:48] Agomi
Don't call me Assmi!
[08:48] Agomi
It's Azumi, damn it!
[08:50] Saigo
Shut the hell up, Ass!
[08:53] Agomi
Could you add the "mi"?
[08:55] Agomi
You can call me Assmi as
long as the "mi" is there.
[09:00] Saigo
It looks like we were the only ones
[09:03] ---
serious about stopping this conflict.
[09:06] Saigo
When did you make a deal with Jirocho?
[09:09] Jirocho
You think I would make
a deal with that vixen?
[09:14] Jirocho
Were you pushed by the kid?
[09:17] Jirocho
No, were you the one who pushed the kid?
[09:20] Saigo
Don't play dumb!
[09:22] Saigo
They might be rotten to the core,
[09:26] ---
but they aren't dirty like you people!
[09:28] Pirako
That's enough.
[09:30] Pirako
You should stop that, Saigo-san.
[09:32] Pirako
It's not nice to whine
and go back on your word.
[09:34] Pirako
Pleasure to meet you.
[09:36] Pirako
I'm Jirocho's daughter, Pirako Doromizu.
[09:41] Saigo
Jirocho's...
[09:43] Pirako
I have a question for you, Saigo-san.
[09:46] Pirako
Do you have any
[09:47] ---
proof that Otose-san
hasn't done anything?
[09:50] Saigo
My proof is the fact
that you have no proof.
[09:53] Saigo
Why would Otose pick
a fight with Jirocho?
[09:57] Saigo
And now of all times?
[09:59] Saigo
There's obviously a conspiracy going on.
[10:02] Pirako
Nobody would spend that
[10:04] ---
much effort to kill an old hag.
[10:07] Pirako
Besides, we have proof
[10:08] ---
that Otose-san would pick
a fight with my old man.
[10:11] Pirako
There's a long history between them.
[10:15] Pirako
Isn't that right, old man?
[10:17] Pirako
Here it is.
[10:19] ---
Otose-san's husband, Tatsugoro Terada,
[10:22] Pirako
was killed by my old man.
[10:27] Pirako
Oh? You didn't know?
[10:31] Pirako
What about this?
[10:33] Pirako
My old man and Tatsugoro-san
[10:35] ---
were friends when they were young.
[10:37] Pirako
But then they got into a
fight over a certain girl.
[10:41] Pirako
Tatsugoro-san was the
one who won her over.
[10:44] Pirako
I'm sure that my old man
wasn't happy about it.
[10:47] ---
Stop it...
[10:49] Pirako
That's why he killed his old friend.
[10:51] Pirako
So he could have the girl.
[10:53] Jirocho
Stop it.
[10:54] Pirako
Do you know why he abandoned his own
[10:57] Pirako
wife and daughter to come to this town?
[11:00] Pirako
That's because the girl,
Otose-san, is here.
[11:06] Jirocho
Didn't you hear me say to stop?
[11:11] Pirako
See? It's just like I said.
[11:13] Pirako
He cares more about Otose-san
than his own daughter.
[11:17] Jirocho
You came here just to tell me that?
[11:22] Jirocho
Such a dutiful daughter.
[11:25] Pirako
If what I'm saying isn't true,
[11:26] ---
that should mean you can kill Otose-san.
[11:35] Pirako
Are you running away?!
[11:38] Jirocho
Saigo, don't worry.
[11:41] Jirocho
Yakuza don't need trannies
to clean up their mess.
[11:46] Jirocho
You stay out of it.
[11:48] Jirocho
I'll settle this myself.
[11:50] Saigo
Wait!
[11:51] Saigo
I'm not done talking...
[11:54] Pirako
I'll spare you this one time,
since you kept whining.
[11:59] Pirako
Could you shut up now?
[12:02] Saigo
How am I supposed to shut u--
[12:03] Kada
Have you forgotten?
[12:05] Kada
If you go back on your word,
[12:07] ---
we'll have to eliminate you as well.
[12:09] Kada
When laying siege to a castle,
[12:11] ---
what would you target first?
[12:14] Kada
The weakest spot in the wall.
[12:17] Kada
A seasoned soldier like yourself
should be aware of this.
[12:19] Agomi
M-Mama!
[12:22] Agomi
Te-Teru-kun is... Teru-kun is...!
[12:25] Saigo
Damn you!
SIGN Snack Otose
[12:30] Otose
I see.
[12:32] Otose
Very well.
[12:37] Otose
Don't worry.
[12:39] Otose
That was Gintoki.
[12:40] Otose
It seems that Pirako is safe.
[12:43] Otose
They learned about the
new rule right before
[12:45] ---
they were about to take
on Jirocho's gang.
[12:47] Otose
Apparently, they were able
to talk things through.
[12:50] Shin
That's a relief.
[12:52] Shin
I was worried that we would be too late.
[12:54] Kagura
They kept us worried this whole time.
[12:55] Kagura
What are they doing?!
[12:57] Otose
I appreciate everything you've done.
[12:59] Otose
You haven't eaten since
yesterday, right?
[13:01] Shin
Now that you mention it, I'm starting
to feel hungry now that everything's okay.
[13:04] Otose
Want to grab something to eat?
[13:05] Kagura
Can we?
[13:06] Catherine
Yakiniku!
[13:07] Catherine
We must have yakiniku!
[13:08] Catherine
At a really expensive place!
[13:09] Kagura
Stupid!
[13:10] Kagura
That won't fill my stomach!
[13:11] Kagura
A buffet!
[13:12] Kagura
At a place with ice cream!
[13:13] Tama
Stop fighting.
[13:15] Tama
Let's compromise by
going to a gas station.
[13:17] Shin
How is that a compromise?!
[13:20] Otose
Go on ahead.
[13:21] Otose
I'll join you once Gintoki
and Pirako are back.
[13:24] Shin
Please hurry.
[13:26] Shin
We'll wait for you
before we start eating.
[13:28] Kagura
But the ice cream doesn't count, right?
[13:29] Kagura
I can eat ice cream while
we're waiting, right?
[13:36] Shin
Didn't Otose-san seem a little strange?
[13:39] Kagura
How?
[13:40] Catherine
When she offers to buy someone dinner,
[13:41] ---
there's usually a catch.
[13:43] Shin
No, that's not what I meant...
[13:46] Shin
Oh, sorry.
[13:48] Shin
He's covered in blood!
[13:49] Shin
Sorry!
[13:50] Shin
Is this my fault?!
[13:51] Shin
Is this my fault?!
[13:52] Shin
Huh?
[13:53] Shin
It's Katsuo-san...
[13:54] Kagura
Hey! The bucket that
just ran past us...!
[14:13] Gin
Gran!
SIGN Terada Family Grave
[14:25] Otose
It's rare to see you here.
[14:28] Otose
I'm assuming that you brought flowers.
[14:31] Jirocho
Hell no.
[14:33] Jirocho
Did you want me to bring
flowers for you, Otose?
[14:37] Otose
It's been years since
you've spoken to me,
[14:40] Otose
and that's all you have to say?
[14:42] Otose
You never change.
[14:45] Otose
If you lay me to rest
next to my husband,
[14:49] Otose
I suppose I can't complain.
[14:51] Jirocho
I heard that you took care of my kid.
[14:54] Otose
Save your thanks for that idiot.
[14:57] Otose
Though apparently, that
kid of yours got him good.
[15:01] Otose
She's quite a dutiful daughter.
[15:04] Otose
She came all the way here to clean
[15:06] ---
this town for the sake of a
[15:08] ---
stupid father who abandoned her.
[15:10] Otose
We've both been dancing to
the tune of a little kid.
[15:15] Otose
The years haven't been kind to us.
[15:17] Otose
Well, I suppose you knew
what was happening.
[15:21] Otose
The villain Jirocho
[15:23] ---
can't go against the
daughter he left in tears?
[15:28] Jirocho
Otose...
[15:29] Jirocho
Get out of this town.
[15:31] Jirocho
This place will become
a battlefield very soon.
[15:34] Jirocho
It was gonna happen even if my
kid didn't rush things along.
[15:38] Jirocho
You'll only get in the way if you stay.
[15:41] Otose
So you were planning on
starting a war, period.
SIGN Terada Family Grave
[15:46] Otose
I would have hoped that
[15:47] ---
you wouldn't say those
words in his presence,
[15:49] ---
even as a joke.
[15:51] Otose
Policeman and vigilante.
[15:53] Otose
The two of you were both
protecting this town,
[15:56] ---
despite your different positions,
[15:58] Otose
but I suppose that was in the past.
[16:03] Otose
Jirocho.
[16:04] Otose
You went so far as to
abandon your wife and child
[16:08] Otose
so you could do this?
[16:14] Jirocho
Times have changed.
[16:17] Jirocho
A vigilante can't protect anything.
[16:21] Jirocho
He died and left you behind.
[16:26] Jirocho
Your methods are old-fashioned.
[16:29] Jirocho
You're just a nuisance,
[16:31] Jirocho
both you and Tatsugoro.
[16:33] Jirocho
This town doesn't need you anymore.
[16:37] Jirocho
This town belongs to me.
[16:40] Jirocho
I'll give you one more chance.
[16:43] Jirocho
Get out of this town.
[16:50] Otose
I have a favor to ask.
[16:52] Otose
They call me one of the Four Devas,
[16:56] Otose
but I don't have any
members in my faction.
SIGN I'm sick of waiting for you to pay the rent. Take your fools and scram. Never come back to this town. --Otose
[17:00] Otose
My life is all you need.
[17:03] Otose
They serve no use at all.
[17:07] Otose
They just happen to be my family.
[17:13] Jirocho
Is that your answer?
[17:59] Jirocho
You're Gintoki?
[18:01] Jirocho
You were a step too late.
[18:03] Jirocho
I buried her with her husband.
[18:07] Jirocho
Funny how it works.
[18:10] Jirocho
I believe that you were serving as her
[18:13] ---
bodyguard to pay back a debt?
[18:15] Jirocho
That's over now. Your job is done.
[18:20] Jirocho
Scram.
[18:21] Jirocho
I'll spare your life for her sake.
[18:29] Jirocho
Ouch...
[18:31] Jirocho
The hell was that?
[18:38] Jirocho
Not bad, kid.
[18:40] ---
You made me draw my sword.
[18:43] Jirocho
But are you willing to let Otose's
efforts to save your lives...
[18:49] Jirocho
...go to waste?
[19:07] Jirocho
You're not being very reasonable.
[19:18] Jirocho
It's over.
[19:32] Jirocho
I heard that Otose was keeping
a crazy monster around.
[19:37] Jirocho
So you're the White Yaksha?
[19:39] Jirocho
I never knew there was a freak like
you following in my footsteps.
[19:42] Jirocho
However...
[19:44] Jirocho
A generation managed
[19:45] ---
to survive the brutal
battles of the Joi war.
[19:48] Jirocho
There were plenty more
like you out there.
[19:53] Jirocho
Get lost, watchdog.
[19:55] Jirocho
There's nothing for you to protect here.
[20:44] Gin
Hey, Gran.
[20:45] Gin
Are those manju?
[20:47] Gin
Can I have some?
[20:49] Gin
I'm starving to death here.
[20:53] Otose
These belong to my husband.
[20:56] Otose
Ask him.
[21:05] Otose
What did my husband say?
[21:08] Gin
Beats me.
[21:09] Gin
The dead don't talk.
[21:11] Otose
You're just asking for it.
[21:14] Otose
Don't blame me if you get cursed.
[21:20] Gin
The dead don't talk and
they don't eat dango.
[21:24] Gin
So I made a one-sided promise.
[21:31] Gin
I won't forget this debt.
[21:33] Gin
Your wife doesn't have
that much longer to live,
[21:37] Gin
but I'm going to protect
her in your stead.
[21:50] Gin
Gran...
SIGN Next Episode Chains of a Warrior
E212 - Chains of a Warrior
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Chains of a Warrior
[01:36] Pirako
We appreciate your cooperation.
[01:39] Pirako
It won't be long before the Jirocho gang and Lady Kada control the Kabuki district.
[01:45] Kada
Nonsense.
[01:47] Kada
You're merely using me to help your father take over the world.
[01:51] Pirako
I could say the same about you, Lady Kada.
[01:54] Pirako
As a result, the collar around my old man's neck has been released.
[02:00] Pirako
That old hag took away the flowers and freedom my father once had.
[02:04] Pirako
I'm sure that my old man will now...
[02:05] Kada
Pay more attention to you?
[02:08] Kada
I have a feeling that you're the one who can breathe easy now.
[02:14] Kada
You must be overjoyed to know that the woman who stole your father from you is dead.
[02:18] Pirako
Man, this is why I hate women.
[02:21] Pirako
They're always so suspicious.
[02:24] Pirako
Anyway, I'll need you to take care of Saigo's kid.
[02:28] Pirako
Who knows when that sheman will betray us?
[02:32] Kada
Pirako...
[02:34] Kada
Jirocho doesn't see you.
[02:38] Kada
You can eliminate every obstacle in the way.
[02:41] Kada
You can spend your entire life serving him.
[02:43] Kada
He will never turn to you...
[02:44] Pirako
Man...
[02:45] Pirako
Could you cut it out, Lady Kada?
[02:48] Pirako
If you don't shut your mouth, I'll have to make some flowers, you hag.
SIGN Greater Edo Hospital
[03:07] Tama
Madame Catherine, you should get some rest.
[03:10] Tama
You have been standing there for two days.
[03:12] Tama
I do not require any rest.
[03:14] Tama
Shall I take your place, Madame Catherine?
[03:17] Shin
Kagura-chan, shouldn't you get some rest too?
[03:20] Kagura
I'm not skanky enough to go to sleep in someone else's house.
[03:23] Kagura
Besides...
[03:25] Kagura
What if I wake up to find out she's...
[03:28] Shin
She'll be fine.
[03:29] Shin
I'm sure she'll be fine.
[03:31] Shin
You should go home and get some rest.
[03:33] Shin
She would be upset if she learned that everyone was ruining their health.
[03:37] Saigo
You have no home to return to.
[03:40] Saigo
There's no place for you here.
[03:43] Shin
Saigo-san!
[03:44] Saigo
That fool.
[03:46] Saigo
I kept telling her to escape...
[03:48] Shin
Saigo-san...
[03:49] Shin
Was that phone call...?
[03:52] Saigo
I'm not going to apologize.
[03:55] Saigo
There was nothing I could do.
[03:57] Saigo
And there's nothing I can do now.
[04:00] Saigo
The day after tomorrow...
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan Snack Otose
[04:02] Saigo
Your place will be destroyed by the Four Devas.
[04:09] Saigo
The day after tomorrow.
[04:10] Saigo
You have until then to pack up and leave this town.
[04:14] Shin
Wh-Why is this happening?!
[04:16] Saigo
Didn't you hear me?
[04:17] Saigo
There's no place for you here in this town.
[04:20] Saigo
The entire Kabuki district is against you.
[04:25] Gin
Did they take your kid hostage?
[04:27] Shin
Gin-san...
[04:28] Saigo
They appear to be testing me.
[04:32] Saigo
There are things I'll do anything to protect.
[04:37] Shin
Saigo-san...
[04:38] Saigo
Pako, can you take care of them?
[04:42] Gin
Don't worry.
[04:43] Gin
I'm closing up shop.
[04:46] Gin
The rest is up to you.
[04:48] Catherine
You bastard!
[04:50] Catherine
Otose-san was left for dead!
[04:51] Catherine
Her bar was destroyed!
[04:53] Catherine
And you're just gonna turn tail and run?!
[04:55] Gin
You're telling me to fight?
[04:57] Gin
Don't make me laugh.
[04:58] Gin
I couldn't even take Jirocho one-on-one.
[05:00] Catherine
When did you become so pathetic?!
[05:02] Catherine
Damn you, Sakata!
[05:04] Catherine
If you're gonna leave, you can leave by yourself!
[05:07] Catherine
I won't! I won't...!
[05:09] Gin
Do you know why Gran went by herself?
[05:13] Gin
To protect us.
[05:15] Gin
If you still insist on dying,
[05:17] Gin
you're free to stay behind and get yourself killed.
[05:19] Gin
Odd Jobs and Gran's bar are being closed down.
[05:23] Gin
We're just strangers now.
[05:25] Gin
Free to do as we please.
[05:27] Gin
I'll be doing just that.
[05:30] Kagura
Wait!
[05:30] Shin
Gin-san!
[05:32] Gin
Sorry.
[05:34] Gin
I doubt I can protect anything now...
[05:39] Shin
Gin-san...
[05:42] Kagura
Master Gintoki...
SIGN Kabuki District 1st Street
[05:48] A
Doesn't it feel like there aren't many people around these days?
[05:51] B
Didn't you know?
[05:52] B
There's a war brewing around these parts.
[05:55] A
A war?
[05:56] B
The factional rivalry between the Four Devas is heating up.
[05:59] B
Everybody's too scared to come near this town.
[06:02] A
Is it really that dangerous?
[06:04] A
We've managed to survive everything that's come before.
[06:06] A
This is no different.
SIGN Puppet House
[06:07] C
But there are rumors that Otose's dead.
[06:10] D
What?!
[06:11] E
She got in a fight with Jirocho's gang.
[06:13] E
And it sounds like Katsuo, one of their young leaders, also died.
[06:17] A
But there's this rookie who's filling in for Katsuo.
[06:22] A
I heard that she persuaded Kada and Saigo to help crush Otose-san.
[06:26] E
I still owe her for lending me money when I was in debt.
[06:31] G
I owe her for helping me out when I got in a fight with my wife.
[06:34] B
Why don't you go protect Otose-san's bar then?
[06:37] H
Don't be stupid. I'd be throwing my life away.
[06:40] I
In this town, the wicked live longer than the kind.
[06:45] J
Who knows when the three remaining Devas will turn on one another...
[06:47] K
It's probably time to get out of this town.
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan Snack Otose
[06:55] Tama
The Kabuki District, a town which accepts the clean and unclean.
[06:59] Tama
I was unable to predict that we would be chased out of this town.
[07:06] Tama
Madame Otose loved this town of good and evil.
[07:10] Tama
But now, we can never...
[07:12] Catherine
Why must we abandon Otose's bar? Our bar...
[07:17] Shin
Don't say that.
[07:21] Shin
If we die, Otose-san will have risked her life for nothing.
[07:26] Shin
Otose-san will be moved out of the Kabuki district hospital tomorrow.
[07:30] Shin
We'll be able to visit her every day.
[07:33] Shin
Anyway, we'll have to stay away from the Kabuki district.
[07:36] Shin
As long as we're alive, we can always start...
[07:42] Shin
Start over...
[07:44] Shin
S-Start...
[07:49] Shin
Huh? That's strange...
[07:53] Shin
Why am I crying?
[07:56] Shin
Huh?
[08:12] Katsuo
So you couldn't take on the Four Devas.
[08:16] Katsuo
I didn't think our boss would actually attack Otose.
[08:21] Katsuo
You probably thought you could calm things down by saving my life, but tough luck.
[08:27] Katsuo
Nobody can stop this war.
[08:31] Gin
Don't get the wrong idea.
[08:34] Gin
I wasn't trying to save your life.
[08:36] Gin
I just needed you to spill your guts.
[08:39] Gin
Let's get those guts out of you.
[08:40] Katsuo
What?! What do you wanna know?!
[08:43] Gin
Why were you surprised that Jirocho attacked Gran?
[08:47] Katsuo
You didn't know?
[08:49] Katsuo
The boss and Otose have known each other since they were kids.
[08:52] Katsuo
You could say they were childhood friends.
[08:55] Katsuo
The boss was a pretty naughty kid,
[08:57] Katsuo
but Otose was there to straighten him out every time he tried something.
[09:02] Katsuo
Even after he got into organized crime,
[09:05] Katsuo
Otose was the only one who stood by him and tried to straighten him out.
[09:10] Katsuo
As a result, the boss became a vigilante who was popular enough to be considered a leader of the town.
[09:17] Katsuo
Jirocho, man among men, would never have existed without Otose.
[09:21] Katsuo
At the time, nobody could defeat the boss in a fight.
[09:24] Katsuo
But, there was one man who managed to triumph over the boss once.
[09:31] Katsuo
Tatsugoro Terada, a cop who was also a leader of the town
[09:35] Katsuo
and Otose's husband.
[09:37] Katsuo
A man who was strong in a fight and stuck to his ideals.
[09:41] Katsuo
Everyone had to love him.
[09:44] Katsuo
Cop and vigilante.
[09:46] Katsuo
They got in a fight once because of their different positions,
[09:49] Katsuo
but they both fought to protect their town.
[09:52] Katsuo
It wasn't long before they became friends.
[09:56] Katsuo
But there was one problem.
[09:59] Katsuo
They were in love with the same woman.
[10:05] Katsuo
The boss backed down because he wanted Otose to be happy,
[10:10] Katsuo
since he figured a vigilante wouldn't be able to provide that happiness.
[10:14] Katsuo
But Tatsugoro got himself killed, which left Otose alone.
[10:19] Katsuo
And he died in the middle of a battle,
[10:22] Katsuo
taking a bullet that was meant for the boss.
SIGN Doromizu Gang
[10:26] Katsuo
When the boss returned from the war, his wife and daughter were waiting for him.
[10:33] Katsuo
But the boss paid no attention to his daughter.
[10:37] Katsuo
He was willing to do anything, no matter how underhanded it was, for the sake of business.
[10:42] Katsuo
He said that he didn't have the right to be a father or a vigilante.
[10:48] Katsuo
Who was it, what was it, that drove the boss to give up all he had to stay in this town?
[10:55] Katsuo
Now that he's struck down the old lady, I'm not really sure.
[11:00] Katsuo
That said, I'm one of them.
[11:02] Katsuo
If it's for the boss who took me in, or his daughter,
[11:06] Katsuo
I'm willing to have a hole in my gut.
[11:09] Katsuo
That's my duty.
[11:12] Katsuo
But was this really the right thing to do?
[11:17] Katsuo
Will this really make them happy?
[11:22] Gin
They're never gonna be happy...
[11:25] Gin
...'cause I'm gonna crush them.
[11:27] Katsuo
So you were putting on a show for the kids.
[11:29] Katsuo
You don't stand a chance by yourself.
[11:32] Gin
I can't go back on my word.
[11:35] Gin
Joe Schmo, take care of Gran.
[11:37] Katsuo
What?! Why?!
[11:38] Gin
You always return the favor, seven for three.
[11:42] Otose
Shouldn't you stay here to watch this old woman pass on?
[11:50] Otose
Gintoki...
[11:52] Otose
I don't want to see...
[11:55] Otose
...you die.
[12:01] Gin
Gran, I promise to pay off the rent.
[12:04] Gin
So sit tight.
[12:10] Pirako
How did it feel to cut down the woman you loved?
[12:16] Jirocho
How did it feel to manipulate a bunch of old men and women?
[12:21] Pirako
That's harsh.
[12:23] Pirako
I did it all for your sake.
[12:26] Jirocho
Next, you'll have Saigo destroy Otose's bar.
[12:30] Jirocho
What a waste of time...
[12:33] Jirocho
Did that vixen put you up to it?
[12:36] Pirako
Of course not.
[12:38] Pirako
This is part of the plan.
[12:40] Pirako
There are many people left in this town who were involved with Otose.
[12:44] Pirako
We'll use this chance to flush them out.
[12:47] Pirako
Saigo happens to be one of them.
[12:49] Jirocho
Will it really work?
[12:53] Jirocho
And you don't need to worry. The old woman's buddies aren't in this town anymore.
[13:00] Jirocho
The watchdog's chains have been snapped.
[13:03] Pirako
You intend to keep your promise to not harm anyone else?
[13:08] Pirako
It's no use.
[13:10] Pirako
That person was never chained.
[13:14] Pirako
You took him to be an obedient dog who could be chained?
[13:20] Pirako
I guarantee that Bro will come.
[13:23] Jirocho
You were watching?
[13:27] Pirako
I was watching.
[13:28] Pirako
When you failed to finish off Otose too...
[13:31] Pirako
When you cut her down so she wouldn't be dragged into this war...
[13:38] Pirako
You don't need to worry.
[13:40] Pirako
I understand that there's no point in focusing on Otose.
[13:43] Pirako
It's not that simple to explain what it is that chains you to this town.
[13:48] Pirako
I figured it out.
[13:50] Pirako
You're just like him.
[13:54] Gin
But I'm going to protect her in your stead.
[14:00] Tatsugoro
Jirocho...
[14:02] Tatsugoro
Take care of her... Take care of our town...
[14:08] Pirako
Both of you are chained to this town by the same thing.
[14:12] Pirako
A promise made to a certain man.
[14:16] Pirako
An iron vow of your own choosing.
[14:19] Pirako
The chains of a warrior.
[14:22] Pirako
Both of you are animals bound by the same chain.
[14:26] Pirako
But...
[14:27] Pirako
One has experienced loss, but accepted the responsibility and continues to protect this town.
[14:35] Pirako
The other has experienced loss,
[14:37] Pirako
but has abandoned the responsibility and chosen to protect this town by using force to conquer it.
[14:44] Pirako
Two beasts whose interests clash, despite sharing the same goal.
[14:49] Pirako
Now, who will be the last man standing over the Kabuki district?
[14:55] Pirako
Don't worry.
[14:57] Pirako
I've already made up my mind.
[15:00] Pirako
I'll be joining you on your rampage.
[15:04] Pirako
I promise to help you take over this town.
[15:09] Pirako
So once this is finished,
[15:13] Pirako
you'll come back to me, won't you?
[15:20] Jirocho
You...
[15:28] Shin
Where do you think you're going?
[15:31] Shin
With Otose-san's mementos of her husband...
[15:34] Gin
Why are you here?
[15:36] Kagura
You're the one who said we could do as we please.
[15:40] Shin
Take us with you.
[15:42] Shin
We can help you fight.
[15:45] Gin
Don't get the wrong idea.
[15:47] Gin
I'm just here because Gran told me to pick this up for her.
[15:51] Kagura
Enough already...
[15:53] Kagura
Neither of you get it...
[15:56] Kagura
If you shoulder the burden alone and leave us behind...
[16:00] Kagura
How are we supposed to be happy you saved our lives?
[16:03] Kagura
How are we supposed to be happy that Gran saved us if she's gone?
[16:08] Kagura
If you're gone, life won't be any fun!
[16:16] Gin
Life doesn't need to be fun.
[16:19] Gin
I just want you to live.
[16:24] Gin
I don't want to go through that again.
[16:28] Gin
I don't want anyone to die.
[16:35] Shin
Aren't you supposed to be Gintoki Sakata?
[16:38] Shin
The man who's let so much slip away, who's failed to protect so much...
[16:42] Shin
...but swore that he would never run away from his responsibilities!
[16:44] Shin
Didn't you promise her husband?!
[16:47] Shin
Once you've decided to protect something, you'll protect it to the very end!
[16:50] Shin
Isn't that what makes you Gintoki Sakata?!
[16:53] Shin
So what if Otose-san's life was in danger?!
[16:56] Shin
This isn't enough to kill Otose-san off!
[16:58] Shin
Isn't enough to kill us off!
[16:59] Shin
Isn't enough to kill you off!
[17:01] Shin
Because you're going to protect us!
[17:04] Shin
Because we're going to protect you!
[17:10] Shin
Isn't that what Odd Jobs is about?
[17:12] Shin
Isn't that how the three of us protected so much over the years?
[17:20] Tama
We have not lost anything yet.
[17:24] Tama
So you must not lose your soul.
[17:29] Shin
Catherine-san, Tama-san...
[17:31] Tama
Master Gintoki...
[17:33] Tama
You have protected us many times.
[17:37] Tama
No matter how dire or hopeless the situation was...
[17:41] Tama
We trust you.
[17:43] Catherine
So it's your turn to trust us.
[17:47] Tama
We can do this together.
[17:49] Catherine
We can protect Otose-san's home, our home.
SIGN Kabuki District 1st Street
[17:53] Tama
Protect the town which brought us together.
[18:01] Gin
Sorry, pops.
[18:03] Gin
I bought these for you,
[18:06] Gin
but there probably won't be any left over.
[18:09] Gin
In return, I'll make another promise.
[18:13] Gin
We promise to protect everything which was dear to you.
[18:24] Gin
Thanks, pops,
[18:26] Gin
for leading me to these assholes.
[18:35] K
What's with that group of men or women or both or neither?
[18:41] L
It's the Jirocho's gang and Saigo's people!
[18:43] K
Th-There's gonna be a war!
[18:45] A
Why is this happening?
[18:47] Agomi
Don't say anything.
[18:49] Agomi
Mama's the one who's hurting the most.
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan Snack Otose
[18:57] Pirako
Let's get started then!
[19:00] Pirako
Make a lot of noise for Otose!
[19:03] A
Wait, young lady!
[19:04] A
The store banner is up!
SIGN Otose
[19:06] Agomi
H-How can this be?!
[19:08] Agomi
Th-This early in the morning?!
[19:10] Agomi
They work too hard!
[19:11] Saigo
You're missing the point!
[19:13] Saigo
Why is the store banner up when Otose and everyone else is...?
[19:17] Saigo
Could it be...
[19:20] B
Y-You're...!
[19:22] Gin
Sorry, but could you come back later?
[19:25] Gin
The place is booked.
[19:27] Gin
I feel like drinking by myself.
[19:29] Gin
Without any interruptions.
[19:32] B
What are you...?
[19:32] Gin
Don't come any closer.
[19:36] B
The hell are you talking about?!
[19:44] Gin
Didn't you hear me?
[19:46] Gin
I told you to keep your stinkin' pig feet out of this place.
[19:52] Saigo
Pako!
[19:54] Pirako
I knew you would come, Bro.
[19:57] C
Eh?!
[19:57] C
You're gonna take on the entire Kabuki District?!
[20:02] Gin
The entire Kabuki District?
[20:04] Gin
Don't make me laugh.
[20:05] Gin
You fools aren't even part of this town.
[20:08] Gin
You're no different from the dogshit on the side of the road.
[20:12] Gin
All I need from the Kabuki District is right here.
[20:18] Shin
Our Kabuki District...
[20:21] Tama
...can be found...
[20:22] Kagura
...right here.
[20:24] Gin
Crush us if you can.
[20:26] Gin
We're not letting any of you into our town.
[20:30] Agomi
Pako!
[20:31] Agomi
Please stop this!
[20:33] Agomi
We don't want to fight you!
[20:35] Saigo
Funny.
[20:37] Saigo
It's very strange.
[20:38] Saigo
It makes me sick to have to fight friends.
[20:42] Saigo
Yet I felt relieved when I saw your face.
[20:48] Saigo
Of course.
[20:49] Saigo
It wouldn't be right if you weren't here.
[20:52] Agomi
What are you...?
[20:53] Saigo
Assmi, it would be rude to say anything.
[20:57] Pirako
That's right!
[20:59] Pirako
There's nothing left to say.
[21:01] Pirako
Bro and Saigo-san are both protecting what's dear to them.
[21:08] Saigo
You shouldn't be talking.
[21:11] Saigo
Not when you're the one who took what was dear to me.
[21:15] Pirako
I'm not going to apologize. After all...
[21:19] Pirako
I'm here to protect what's dear to me.
[21:23] Pirako
I'll steal and destroy what's dear to others...
[21:27] Pirako
...if that's what's needed to take him back.
[21:30] Saigo
I must pity you, daughter of Jirocho.
[21:36] Saigo
The swing of a samurai's blade can silence a thousand words!
[21:42] Saigo
Warriors,
[21:44] Saigo
let us hold our conversation in a whirlwind of blood!
[21:50] Gin
The Otose Family will be paying our respects.
[21:55] Gin
Let's go, bastards!
SIGN To Be Continued...
SIGN Next Episode: Iron Town
E213 - Iron Town
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Iron Town
[01:57] Tama
Shifting to cleaning mode.
[02:00] Tama
I will not stop until I have
eliminated all of the trash
[02:03] ---
in the Kabuki district.
[02:06] Tama
It's cleaning time.
[02:20] C
What's with them?!
[02:23] C
They're like little demons!
[02:26] D
Who are they?!
[02:28] D
Why are these monsters
working for that old hag?!
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan Snack Otose
[02:31] Pirako
You could say that Otose
[02:33] ---
has the power to attract such people.
[02:36] Pirako
We have no choice then.
[02:37] Pirako
Time to get serious.
[02:41] Gin
Saigo!
[02:43] Pirako
Too bad, Bro.
[02:46] Pirako
You were trying to buy time
by fighting a bunch of chumps,
[02:49] Pirako
but that cat burglar of
yours won't be coming back.
[02:51] Pirako
She won't be able to steal Saigo's son.
[02:56] Pirako
Even if she manages to
make it to Teruhiko-kun,
[02:59] Pirako
Kada's people and my old
man will be waiting.
[03:02] Pirako
It's pretty much impossible for her
[03:05] ---
to make it back alive.
[03:06] Saigo
That's what you were trying to do...
[03:09] Pirako
There's no point in trying to
avoid a fight with Saigo-san.
[03:13] Pirako
Look what will happen
if you take too long.
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[03:15] Pirako
Otose-san's bar is going to burn down.
[03:18] Shin
The building's on fire!
[03:19] Kagura
Oh, no!
[03:20] Kagura
We have to put it out!
[03:21] Pirako
You're leaving?
[03:22] Pirako
I believe that you barely have
enough fighters as it is.
[03:27] Gin
You're pretty brutal
for a little shrimp.
[03:31] Gin
I'm starting to like you.
[03:34] Gin
But I'll need to separate your
head from your body first.
[03:38] Pirako
I've always liked you, Bro.
[03:41] Pirako
But you have to join my old man first.
[03:44] Pirako
Actually, you should just marry me.
[03:47] Pirako
That's the only way for you
to survive in this town.
[03:51] Pirako
You guys are all alone
with no coming to help.
[04:00] Tatsumi
All alone with no help?
[04:02] Tatsumi
I don't think so.
[04:04] Tatsumi
At least, there's one person
here who's willing to help.
[04:08] Tatsumi
Yeah, Gin-san?
[04:10] Gin
You're...
[04:11] Gin
...Tatsumi the firefighter!
[04:13] D
Who are you?!
[04:14] D
Trying to interfere?!
[04:15] E
Die!
[04:18] Tetsuko
That's some weak iron.
[04:20] Tetsuko
You can't even scratch
these guys with that junk.
[04:24] ---
Want me to reforge that for you?
[04:28] Kagura
Te-Tetsuko!
[04:30] E
Don't take us lightly!
[04:32] Kozen
Hey, now.
[04:34] Kozen
A lady doesn't like it
when you gang up on her.
[04:39] Kozen
Yes, a man should be hard-boiled, Camus
[04:44] Shin
Kozenigata-san! Haji-san!
[04:46] G
What's with that weird-looking bunch?!
[04:50] Tama
Master Gengai!
[04:51] H
Hey! There's a freak mixed in there!
[04:54] Madao
Can't let this bar be shut down!
[04:57] Madao
No more free drinks for me!
[04:59] Shin
You have a running tab.
[04:59] Madao
Why am I the only one who
gets the cold shoulder?!
[05:04] Kyoshiro
The Members of Odd Jobs, you are not alone.
[05:09] Kyoshiro
They have forged a bond during
their time in this town.
[05:12] G
What?! Now we have an
army of male escorts!
[05:15] Kyoshiro
The Kabuki district women
may cry once I'm gone.
[05:19] Kyoshiro
But I will cry once you're gone.
[05:24] Kyoshiro
How very naughty of you
to seduce a male escort.
[05:28] Shin
Kyoshiro-san!
[05:31] Otae
We won't let you carry the burden alone.
[05:34] H
And here are a bunch of cabaret girls!
[05:35] Otae
It's not very nice to decide the fate of
[05:38] ---
the Kabuki district on your own.
[05:40] Otae
This town doesn't belong to any of you.
[05:43] Otae
It belongs to us cabaret girls.
[05:47] Otae
The Jirocho gang and tranny
gang can bring it on.
[05:50] Otae
We'll show you how terrifying
[05:53] ---
the Kabuki district truly is.
[05:56] Tatsumi
We won't let you have your way here!
[05:58] Tatsumi
Those guys helped protect
the things we care about.
[06:02] Kozen
They know what it truly
means to be hard-boiled.
[06:05] Kozen
They're the hardest-boiled
bunch in Edo, Camus.
[06:09] Tetsuko
I'll never be able to pay you back.
[06:11] Tetsuko
But I also won't forget
what you've taught me.
[06:16] Kyoshiro
Please watch us.
[06:18] Kyoshiro
This time, we will protect the
things we care about ourselves...
SIGN Kabuki District 1st Street
[06:23] Kyoshiro
Our Kabuki District...
[06:26] Kyoshiro
Our precious friends, the
members of Odd Jobs...
[06:30] Madao
We've lived together and
[06:33] ---
shared laughs in this filthy town.
[06:35] Madao
In that case, we should suck it up and
[06:37] ---
protect this town together.
[06:38] Otae
You are the ones who have become
enemies of the Kabuki district.
[06:42] Otae
You're in our town.
[06:44] Shin
E-Everyone...
[06:46] I
What's with these people?!
[06:48] J
Young lady, they
completely outnumber us!
[06:53] Pirako
Is that supposed to matter?
[06:56] Pirako
We're up against a bunch of amateurs!
[06:58] Pirako
Take them all out!
[06:59] H
Yeah!
[07:00] H
We can't let a bunch of
cabaret girls boss us around!
[07:05] Otae
A bunch of cabaret girls, you said?
[07:08] Otae
Get down on your knees.
[07:10] Otae
I am the queen of the Kabuki district.
[07:16] Tatsumi
Idiot!
[07:17] Tatsumi
Are you trying to protect
this town or destroy it?!
[07:21] Kozen
Don't forget that you
have allies down here!
[07:23] Kozen
Straighten out your act or
I'll have to punish you!
[07:25] Tetsuko
If the town gets destroyed,
we can rebuild it.
[07:27] Tetsuko
This time, we can build
a sturdy iron town.
[07:29] Kyoshiro
What are you talking about?
[07:31] Kyoshiro
We already live in an iron town.
[07:35] Madao
Gin-san, you guys go
settle this business!
[07:38] Madao
We'll handle the small fry here!
[07:40] Yakuza
You're the small fry!
[07:51] Saigo
That's the difference between you,
who takes things that others hold dear,
[07:54] Saigo
and them, who protect the
things that others hold dear.
[07:58] Gin
You should know when a
battle is lost, Saigo-san.
[08:03] Gin
Leave.
[08:04] Gin
This battle is our...
[08:06] Gin
...Gran's victory.
[08:08] Pirako
As long as Saigo-san and I are here,
[08:11] Pirako
your crowd doesn't stand a chance.
[08:14] Pirako
I won't let you go to my old man.
[08:17] Gin
I said that you already lost.
[08:18] Gin
You've really pissed them off.
[08:22] Both
Stay out of this, curly head!
[08:24] Saigo
I'm disappointed, Pako.
[08:26] Saigo
You're going to let a couple
of kids throw their lives away?
[08:29] Gin
So be it.
[08:30] Gin
I'd rather disappoint you
than disappoint them.
[08:34] Pirako
A couple of softies who
didn't want to fight
[08:36] ---
Saigo-san are supposed to put up a fight?
[08:39] Kagura
Looks like I'll need to rip your
head off to make you understand.
[08:43] Shin
True, we were softies
who let you use us.
[08:49] Shin
You tricked us, betrayed us,
[08:51] ---
but we'll be able to laugh
it off in a couple of days.
[08:55] Shin
I'm used to having girls trick me.
[08:58] Shin
But, no matter your reasons...
[09:03] Shin
We can never forgive you for hurting...
[09:08] Shin
...the Kabuki district's mother.
[09:10] Kagura
Don't underestimate Odd Jobs.
[09:12] Kagura
We won't let you hurt anyone else.
[09:14] Kagura
You won't have your way around here.
[09:16] Kagura
We aren't alone!
[09:18] Kagura
Now that the three members
of Odd Jobs are together,
[09:21] Kagura
you won't be taking
anything else from us!
[09:25] Kagura
It's time to show you the power...
[09:28] Kagura
...that has kept Odd Jobs safe.
[09:30] Saigo
It would be rude to go easy
[09:31] ---
on someone with such fierce eyes.
[09:34] Pirako
I understand.
[09:36] Pirako
Then I'll turn you into corpses first.
[09:40] Pirako
Where would you like me to
make some bright red flowers?
[09:43] Pirako
Your head?
[09:44] Pirako
Or your chest?
[09:46] Pirako
Or...
[09:51] Pirako
...Bro's heart?
[09:59] Gin
There won't be any flowers.
[10:06] Gin
Flowers aren't for samurai.
[10:16] Shin
Flowers are meant for girls.
[10:20] Kagura
And trannies.
[10:25] ---
Huh...
[10:27] Pirako
That's strange...
[10:29] Pirako
How could I...
[10:35] Pirako
I can't let them reach my old man.
[10:41] Pirako
I'm gonna...
[10:48] Saigo
You used the back of your blade?
[10:49] Saigo
You're still softies.
[10:52] Saigo
You hit my chin so hard
that my head's spinning.
[10:55] Saigo
I won't be able to stand anytime soon.
[10:58] Saigo
Damn. Guess I can't stop you.
[11:03] Gin
You're just as soft.
[11:05] Gin
Yeah, I'm gonna talk
to myself for a bit.
[11:07] Gin
Don't pay any attention.
[11:09] Gin
We'll take care of your kid.
[11:11] Gin
Rest easy and get some
beauty sleep or ugly sleep.
[11:15] Saigo
Then I'll also talk to myself for a bit.
[11:19] Saigo
Don't get yourselves killed.
[11:24] Saigo
I leave the Kabuki district,
[11:26] Saigo
our town, in your hands, Odd Jobs.
[11:35] Jirocho
This town looks pretty meek
when there's nobody around.
[11:40] Kada
Easier for your daughter to do her job.
[11:43] Kada
The red light district will soon
be a playground for children.
[11:46] Jirocho
Don't you mean it will be the
hunting ground for a certain vixen?
[11:50] Kada
Are you here to keep an eye on me?
[11:52] Jirocho
You think I would skip a sumo match
[11:55] Jirocho
to come all the way out here
and waste my time on you?
[11:59] Jirocho
I'm here for the vixen's head.
[12:05] C
Hallelujah!
[12:07] D
I'm next!
[12:09] E
And then me!
[12:09] F
Hey! What are you doing?!
[12:11] G
Wouldn't you want to be sent
to heaven by Kyoshiro's rod?!
[12:15] G
Uh, he's using a real blade!
[12:18] G
They're literally going to heaven!
[12:19] G
And what's going on?!
[12:20] G
The others have been understanding
[12:23] ---
of our situation and have shown mercy,
[12:25] G
but that guy won't stop
slaughtering trannies!
[12:27] Agomi
Stay back.
[12:29] F
Agomi?!
[12:30] Agomi
I recognize his technique.
[12:33] Agomi
A special assassination technique
for slaying trannies.
[12:37] Agomi
Blade of the Male Escort!
SIGN Blade of the Male Escort!
[12:38] Okama
That sounds familiar!
[12:40] Agomi
A thousand years ago,
[12:41] ---
during the great war between
male escort and tranny,
[12:43] Agomi
this legendary technique was born
during the Battle of Bootyloo.
[12:47] Agomi
I didn't realize that someone
had inherited the technique it.
[12:50] Agomi
This was the last place I expected
[12:52] ---
to run into the dreaded
foe of all trannies.
[12:56] Kyoshiro
That stance, it can't be...!
[12:58] Agomi
You were too hasty.
[13:00] Agomi
Yes, I have inherited the
[13:03] ---
Kama-sen-ryu which counters
the Blade of the Male Escort!
[13:08] Agomi
I am Agomi, King of Fist!
[13:09] Agomi
Sorry, never heard of you.
[13:11] F
Ago!
[13:13] Agomi
So you were willing to sever
this cursed chin of mine...
[13:17] Agomi
I have no chins in this life!
[13:19] F
Yeah, you do!
[13:21] F
You've got one long-ass chin there!
[13:23] Agomi
Oh, you're right.
[13:25] Agomi
He didn't cut it off?
[13:26] Kyoshiro
Uh, could you pretend to be dead?
[13:30] Kyoshiro
A male escort is only
allowed to penetrate women.
[13:34] Agomi
A toy?
[13:36] All
Kyoshiro!
[13:37] A
You were acting to keep
us from getting hurt!
[13:41] Agomi
I don't care if you use the sword
[13:43] ---
up here or the sword down there!
[13:44] Agomi
Penetrate me!
[13:45] Agomi
Penetrat--
[13:47] Saigo
What are you doing?
[13:49] Saigo
We're getting out of here.
[13:50] All
Mama!
[13:51] Saigo
This fight is over.
[13:53] Saigo
We've lost.
[13:55] Otae
Saigo-san...
[13:56] Pirako
I can't accept that.
[13:58] Pirako
My old man hasn't
conquered the world yet.
[14:01] Saigo
If you want to help
him conquer the world,
[14:03] Saigo
you shouldn't waste his men out here.
[14:06] Pirako
We don't need these useless chumps.
[14:10] Pirako
Go ahead and turn your
back on us if you wish.
[14:13] Pirako
I'll support my old man by
myself if that's what it takes.
[14:18] A
I don't believe it.
[14:20] A
He backstabbed his own relatives
for the sake of business.
[14:24] B
The wife and daughter
you abandoned are here.
[14:28] Pirako
Doesn't matter what
people say about him...
[14:32] C
This is the end.
[14:33] C
We never want anything
to do with you again.
[14:36] Jirocho
I see.
[14:37] Jirocho
I assumed that it was
over a long time ago.
[14:41] Pirako
Doesn't matter if he
never looks at me...
[14:45] Mother
I see...
[14:47] Mother
So he's still making mischief.
[14:49] Pirako
How can you smile?
[14:53] Pirako
He abandoned us and started
doing terrible things
[14:57] ---
for the sake of a woman...
[14:59] Mother
Before he left for the war,
[15:01] Mother
he placed his hand here and promised...
[15:05] Mother
...that he would surely return.
[15:08] Mother
Pirako, he hasn't returned
from the war yet.
[15:14] Mother
He's still fighting right now.
SIGN Medicine for Ingesting
[15:17] Mother
But once he's finished, he'll return.
[15:20] Mother
After all, the one thing
he knew how to do was
[15:23] ---
to keep his promises.
[15:25] Mother
So don't hate him.
[15:28] Mother
Once I'm gone,
[15:30] ---
there won't be anyone on his side.
[15:34] Mother
We have his promise...
[15:37] Mother
You will be the only one
who believes in him...
[15:43] Pirako
He promised...
[15:45] Pirako
You'll come back to me, won't you?
[15:49] Pirako
He promised to return...
[15:59] I
Reinforcements from Kada?!
[16:01] Pirako
Take care of this.
[16:02] Pirako
I need to go to my old man.
[16:06] I
Young lady!
[16:10] Saigo
So we were all played
by that damn vixen.
[16:15] All
Mama!
[16:17] Pirako
Sa-Saigo-san...
[16:20] Jirocho
Using a kid to set off
a war in this town
[16:24] Jirocho
and manipulate the Four Devas
into wearing each other down
[16:27] Jirocho
in order to take control of this town.
[16:31] Jirocho
That should be the general
gist of your plan.
[16:36] Kada
But it's too late.
[16:38] Kada
Those pathetic monkeys are
being crushed as we speak.
[16:42] Kada
Along with your daughter.
[16:44] Jirocho
I doubt that they're
gonna roll over for you.
[16:48] Jirocho
Well, this means I get a private
meeting with a beautiful lady.
[16:55] Kada
We won't be having that.
[16:57] Kada
Though I've prepared a little party.
[17:01] Jirocho
Shinra?
[17:03] Jirocho
Along with Yato and
Dakini in your troops,
[17:07] Jirocho
it's clear that you're
not just some gambler.
[17:10] Kada
My long battle with you ends here.
[17:15] Kada
This town belongs to me now.
[17:17] Kada
Or should I say...
[17:18] Kada
It belongs to Kada,
[17:20] ---
captain of the 4th squad of
the space pirates Harusame?
[17:26] Jirocho
You've finally revealed
your true colors, vixen?
[17:30] Kada
Nonsense.
[17:31] Kada
You already knew my identity.
[17:34] Kada
If it weren't for you,
[17:36] Kada
I would've taken over this town the way
[17:38] ---
Hosen took over Yoshiwara.
[17:40] Kada
I know the reason
[17:42] ---
you were willing to sink so
low to protect this town.
[17:47] Kada
You were protecting this
town from us Amanto.
[17:51] Jirocho
I learned two things from the war.
[17:54] Jirocho
First, at this rate, we'll
be swallowed by you Amanto.
[18:00] Jirocho
Second, we are completely powerless.
[18:03] Tatsugoro
Take care of her...
Take care of our town...
[18:07] Jirocho
If you still want to protect
what's dear to you,
[18:09] ---
you'll have to change.
[18:11] Jirocho
I gave up on being a human
so I could defeat you.
[18:16] Jirocho
Kada, I can't say much
for any other town,
[18:18] ---
but this place won't go
down without a fight.
[18:22] Kada
Your vaunted Four Devas have
perished, leaving you alone.
[18:26] Kada
What can you possibly accomplish?
[18:29] Jirocho
Have you been paying any
attention to this town?
[18:33] Jirocho
Don't underestimate the Kabuki District.
[18:38] Kada
Who are you people?!
[18:40] Gin
Sorry to keep you waiting, dark dude.
[18:43] Jirocho
I've been waiting for you, silver kid.
[18:47] Gin
I'd like to return the favor,
[18:50] Gin
but I guess the situation's changed.
[18:54] Jirocho
You've got sharp eyes.
[18:57] Saigo
So while we were engaged
in a pointless fight,
[19:00] ---
they took control of this town.
[19:04] Pirako
Sa-Saigo-san...
[19:05] Pirako
Why?
[19:06] Saigo
Hostages are only useful alive.
[19:10] Saigo
I consider you a hostage
to use against Jirocho.
[19:15] Saigo
Besides, I've had enough.
[19:17] Saigo
I don't want to see any old ladies
[19:20] ---
or naughty kids bite the dust.
[19:24] Saigo
Our enemy is elsewhere...
[19:27] H
Mama! Hang in there, Mama!
[19:29] Saigo
But it's too late when you realize it.
[19:33] I
I can't believe it...
[19:34] I
Saigo's spent.
[19:36] I
The rest of us can barely fight.
[19:40] I
We're finished!
[19:41] I
The Amanto are gonna take
over our Kabuki District!
[19:46] Otose
Good grief.
[19:48] Otose
Could you stop whining?
[19:51] Otose
And you call yourself
Kabuki District residents?
[19:54] Saigo
That voice is...
[19:58] Otose
Bold and bullheaded,
adamant and adaptable.
[20:02] Otose
Isn't that our creed?
[20:05] Saigo
O-O...
[20:07] Saigo
Otose!
[20:10] Gin
Shinpachi, Kagura...
[20:12] Gin
I'm leaving Saigo's kid to you.
[20:14] Gin
We're running out of time.
[20:15] Kagura
Gin-chan...
[20:17] Gin
We promised.
[20:19] Gin
I'm trusting you to do as I ask,
[20:21] Gin
so have some faith in me.
[20:25] Shin
Gin-san...
[20:28] Shin
We'll meet back up in
the Kabuki district.
[20:34] Kada
I'm not sure why you're here,
[20:37] Kada
but you're trying to allow
those kids to escape?
[20:40] Gin
It's not like that.
[20:42] Gin
They wouldn't be able to hold
[20:44] ---
themselves back against you people.
[20:46] Gin
It's R-18 time.
[20:49] Gin
I don't know the details,
but one thing's for sure.
[20:52] Gin
I'm killing the old man and you, and we're all killing each other.
[20:57] Jirocho
You got balls to talk like that to
[20:59] ---
the mighty Jirocho and
the Harusame, kid.
[21:03] Jirocho
But it's easy to understand.
[21:06] Jirocho
Count me in, kid.
[21:08] Jirocho
I'm gonna slaughter you all.
[21:10] Gin
We're all alone here
with no help in sight.
[21:12] Gin
Just cut down anything that moves.
[21:16] Jirocho
The last one standing is the winner.
[21:20] Jirocho
Nice and simple, the way I like it.
[21:22] Gin
You probably had bad grades.
[21:24] Jirocho
Not as bad as yours.
[21:28] Kada
What's so funny?!
[21:31] Kada
Why are you laughing?!
[21:33] Kada
Don't you realize the
situation you're in?!
[21:37] Kada
You and your town are finished!
[21:44] Gin
Damn old man!
[21:47] Jirocho
Kid!
[21:57] Gin
Don't die...
[21:59] Jirocho
...until I kill you.
SIGN Next Episode 'Tis an Honor!
E214 - 'Tis An Honor!
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:31] All
O-Otose!
[01:34] Saigo
Why are you here?!
[01:35] Tama
Madame Otose...
[01:37] Otose
Stop this silly fighting.
[01:41] Otose
Let's make peace and
celebrate at my bar.
[01:44] Yakuza
H-Huh?!
[01:46] Otose
Pirako, you're coming too.
[01:48] Otose
Since you made a real mess of things
[01:50] Otose
you'll have to make up for it
with one hell of a show.
[01:54] Pirako
Otose...
[01:56] Yakuza
Whatcha babbling about, old lady?
[01:58] Yakuza
We don't have time for that!
[02:01] Otose
Finish up your business then.
[02:03] Otose
How long are you guys going to lie there?
[02:06] Otose
This old lady came out here
[02:09] ---
despite being seriously injured.
[02:11] Otose
Enough of your petty bickering.
[02:13] Otose
There's a serious fight in the
works, with Edo on the line.
[02:18] Otose
If you don't protect
this town, who will?
[02:22] Otose
We may be moving in
different directions,
[02:24] Otose
but we all started in the same place.
[02:27] Otose
The yakuza, trannies, cabaret girls...
[02:30] Otose
We all love this town.
[02:35] Otose
That's all there is to it.
[02:41] Otae
Otose-san! Look out!
[02:44] Katsuo
Hey, if you wanna snuff
[02:46] ---
one of the Four Devas while I'm around,
[02:49] Katsuo
come back in a hundred years!
[02:52] Yakuza
B-Bro!
[02:54] Katsuo
What are you fools doing?!
[02:56] Katsuo
You always return the
favor, seven for three!
[03:00] Katsuo
Well, Gran?
[03:03] Otose
Show them our...
[03:05] Otose
No, show them the Kabuki
District's might.
SIGN 'Tis An Honor!
[03:18] Teruhiko
Wh-Who's there?
[03:20] Catherine
A bandit who's opened
the door to paradise...
[03:24] Catherine
Catherine the lock picker!
[03:25] Catherine
Sorry to keep you waiting.
[03:28] Catherine
Why did you shut the door
without saying anything?!
[03:31] Catherine
Do you realize how hard it
was for me to get here?!
[03:34] Catherine
They found me!
[03:35] Catherine
Hey! Open the door!
[03:36] Catherine
Help!
[03:38] Catherine
Stay away!
[03:39] Catherine
Don't come any closer!
[03:43] Teruhiko
Wh-Who's there?
[03:44] Kagura
You scared him because of your
funny clothes, Catherine.
[03:49] Shin
That's right.
[03:50] Trio
Don't worry!
[03:52] Trio
The Kabuki Cats are here now!
[04:00] Yakuza
B-Bro!
[04:02] Katsuo
What are you fools doing?!
[04:04] Katsuo
You're gonna stand around while
the Amanto take over our town?!
[04:08] Pirako
Ka-Katsuo...
[04:10] Katsuo
Young lady, we were the
castoffs of society
[04:13] ---
until the boss took us in.
[04:16] Katsuo
We're prepared to throw away
[04:19] ---
our worthless lives for the
boss, and for his daughter.
[04:24] Katsuo
However...
[04:25] Katsuo
We aren't gonna abandon
the town our boss
[04:28] ---
has dedicated his life to protecting.
[04:30] Katsuo
We have a duty to protect
the Kabuki District!
[04:35] Katsuo
Take a good, hard look!
[04:36] Katsuo
This is the town your old
man has been protecting!
[04:40] Katsuo
Let's do this!
[04:41] Katsuo
The whole universe will learn
to fear the Jirocho Gang!
[04:46] Katsuo
The Kabuki District belongs to us!
[04:51] Saigo
Heh...
[04:53] Saigo
They're the ones who made
a mess of this town.
[04:57] Saigo
That's why I can't stand yakuza.
[05:05] Saigo
The Kabuki District belongs to you?
[05:11] Saigo
No.
[05:12] Saigo
It belongs to us trannies!
[05:14] Saigo
It's finally time for us to go crazy!
[05:19] Saigo
Show them the true power of a tranny!
[05:25] Otose
Loud and clear, everyone.
[05:29] Otose
This is the Kabuki District!
[06:31] Kada
Fr-Freaks...
[06:35] Kada
Kill them in the name of the Harusame!
[07:23] Kada
Finish them!
[07:28] Gin
Pops,
[07:29] Gin
we promise to protect everything
[07:31] ---
which was dear to you.
[07:33] Tatsugoro
Jirocho...
[07:36] Tatsugoro
Take care of her... Take
care of our town...
[07:58] Kada
They did it!
[08:00] Kada
There were only two of them.
[08:02] Kada
My elite soldiers lost
to these base monkeys.
[08:07] Kada
This can't be... This can't be...
[08:16] Kada
That's...
[08:18] Kada
Otose!
[08:24] Kada
I never expected this filthy
town to be home to such heroes.
[08:30] Kada
Mark my words, Jirocho...
[08:33] Kada
The Harusame will return this favor!
[08:38] Gin
W-Wait...
[08:49] Jirocho
All this effort to chase
a vixen out of town.
[08:53] Jirocho
I don't want to get any older.
[08:56] Jirocho
But you young'ns are disappointing.
[09:03] Jirocho
When I was a young lad...
[09:05] Gin
The elderly always let nostalgia
[09:07] ---
cloud their memory.
[09:09] Gin
I don't want to get any older.
[09:12] Jirocho
Hey, kid.
[09:14] Jirocho
Is that his jutte?
[09:17] Jirocho
Why do you have it?
[09:21] Gin
I made a one-sided promise,
and then I swiped it.
[09:25] Jirocho
Heh.
[09:28] Jirocho
Same here.
[09:33] Jirocho
Whenever I smoke, the
memories come back.
[09:37] Jirocho
I would watch from behind
[09:40] Jirocho
as he walked around, toying with his jutte
[09:42] ---
while smoking with his left.
[09:45] Jirocho
It was rather striking to see him
[09:47] ---
with the Kabuki District as a backdrop.
[09:50] Jirocho
He loved this town,
[09:53] Jirocho
and I'm sure that this town loved him.
[09:56] Gin
We can smoke and fiddle with a jutte,
[10:01] Gin
but we can never be like him?
[10:04] Jirocho
He died the way he lived.
[10:07] Jirocho
Like a man,
[10:09] Jirocho
who sacrificed his life
for someone like me
[10:12] ---
while leaving loved ones behind.
[10:14] Jirocho
I killed him.
[10:18] Jirocho
So I had to give up on being
a man, on being human,
[10:23] Jirocho
in order to protect what he left behind.
[10:27] Jirocho
Even if the town hated me for it...
[10:31] Gin
Damn...
[10:32] Gin
So you weren't trying to kill Gran.
[10:36] Jirocho
She's always been a pain in the ass.
[10:40] Jirocho
Squawking in my ear whenever
I did something...
[10:44] Jirocho
My resolve would waver when I saw her.
[10:49] Jirocho
When I watched you guys,
[10:50] ---
I would get the urge to go
back to being the old Jirocho.
[10:57] Jirocho
You're getting in my way, Tatsugoro.
[11:01] Jirocho
Let's settle this once and for all.
[11:04] Jirocho
We'll see who's worthy of
inheriting his pipe and jutte.
[11:10] Gin
I'm not interested in any inheritances.
[11:12] Gin
I just wanted to keep
my promise this time.
[11:16] Gin
It's obvious that neither of
us is going to cave or give in.
[11:22] Gin
In that case...
[11:23] Gin
...there's only one way
for us to move forward.
[11:32] Gin
I will keep my promise and survive.
[11:35] Gin
In return...
[11:36] Gin
...you will keep your promise...
[11:39] Gin
...and die.
[11:41] Pirako
Both of you are chained to
this town by the same thing.
[11:45] Pirako
A promise made to a certain man.
[11:50] Pirako
An iron vow of your own choosing.
[11:54] Pirako
The chains of a warrior.
[11:58] Pirako
Old man!
[12:15] Gin
Your promise was broken.
[12:18] Gin
I win.
[12:25] Jirocho
Bastard...
[12:27] Jirocho
Why didn't you cut me down?
[12:29] Gin
Like I said...
[12:32] Gin
I'm going to keep my promise this time.
[12:35] Gin
Pops,
[12:36] Gin
we promise to protect
[12:38] ---
everything which was dear to you.
[12:42] Gin
Quit smoking, old timer.
[12:56] Otose
I'd appreciate it if you
never woke up again.
[13:00] Otose
Usually, you wouldn't put
a guy in the same room
[13:02] ---
as the person he stabbed.
[13:05] Jirocho
This can't be a hospital.
[13:08] Jirocho
Must be some kind of haunted house.
[13:10] Otose
What was that, Seirogan?!
[13:11] Jirocho
Looks like everyone managed
to survive somehow.
[13:17] Otose
Had nothing to do with us.
[13:19] Otose
Our lives were saved.
[13:21] Otose
Your daughter spent
[13:22] ---
three days taking care
of you without any sleep.
[13:26] Otose
And your daughter kept an eye on me
[13:29] Otose
to make sure I didn't run off
again and exacerbate my injuries.
[13:33] Jirocho
A futile effort.
[13:35] Jirocho
We can stab you, tie you up,
[13:38] ---
and you'll still get back up.
[13:39] Otose
You're one to talk, stubborn mule.
[13:42] Jirocho
I know that I'm stubborn,
[13:45] Jirocho
but you make me look like
a reasonable fellow.
[13:50] Jirocho
Everybody turned out to
be as twisted as he was.
[13:56] Jirocho
Actually, you're worse
than Tatsugoro was,
[14:00] Jirocho
since you beat me in a battle of wills.
[14:03] Otose
You look pretty happy for
someone who was beaten.
[14:07] Jirocho
Yeah...
[14:09] Jirocho
It's been so long since
I've had a real fight.
[14:13] Jirocho
A real fight between men and warriors.
[14:17] Jirocho
I can only laugh after losing
in such a satisfying way.
[14:21] Jirocho
I've given up so much to be
able to keep my promise...
[14:25] Jirocho
But he managed to save everything
to keep his promise,
[14:30] Jirocho
including me.
[14:32] Jirocho
No, I was just running away...
[14:35] Jirocho
I was scared of losing
anyone else dear again...
[14:39] Jirocho
He shattered the ungainly
chains around my neck.
[14:44] Jirocho
They made it clear that they could
protect this town without me.
[14:51] Jirocho
Twenty years...
[14:52] Jirocho
I spend twenty years keeping my promise,
[14:55] ---
and this is how it ends.
[14:57] Jirocho
In the end,
[14:59] Jirocho
I just made everyone around me unhappy,
[15:01] Jirocho
while failing to keep my promise.
[15:05] Jirocho
Otose...
[15:07] Jirocho
You've done a lot for me.
[15:11] Jirocho
But I kept running in circles.
[15:15] Jirocho
I was never able to return the favor.
[15:20] Jirocho
Sorry I couldn't make you happy.
[15:25] Otose
Jirocho, I'm...
[15:31] Saigo
Damn! What are people doing?!
[15:33] Saigo
It was about to get good!
[15:36] Katsuo
I told you to stop pushing!
[15:38] A
It's your fault for bringing
such a big camera!
[15:41] Katsuo
Shut up!
[15:42] Katsuo
How often are we gonna get to see
the boss in a romantic scene?!
[15:44] Otae
Men are so hopeless.
[15:45] Otae
The sensitivity of a brick.
[15:47] Katsuo
What's that in your hand?!
[15:49] Tama
Please stop this, everyone.
[15:51] Tama
Recording mode off.
[15:52] Catherine
I just heard something!
[15:53] Catherine
You were recording!
[15:54] Catherine
You were recording the entire time!
[15:55] Nurse
What are you people doing here so late?!
[15:57] Nurse
Wait, that's alcohol!
[15:59] Nurse
Don't you realize what
kind of place this is?!
[16:00] Agomi
This is ours!
[16:03] Katsuo
Do you realize how much
effort it took to get
[16:05] ---
the old lady on top of the roof?!
[16:08] Otose
Jirocho...
[16:09] Otose
You and Gintoki will never change.
[16:13] Otose
You're both selfish jerks.
[16:16] Otose
The difference is that he had
people to help him realize
[16:20] Otose
that other people needed
him the way he needed them.
[16:27] Otose
Now, you can see that
there's no need to worry.
[16:32] Otose
There are plenty of fools
in the Kabuki District
[16:35] ---
to carry on the spirit
of you and Tatsugoro.
[16:38] Otose
You did a fine job of
protecting this town
[16:40] ---
until the next generation
could take over.
[16:43] Otose
You kept your promise.
[16:45] Otose
So you can let go now.
[16:49] Otose
You have other promises to keep.
[16:56] Otose
I'm very happy right now, Jirocho.
[17:01] Otose
I met Tatsugoro here
in the Kabuki District.
[17:04] Otose
And I met them.
[17:07] Otose
And I met our beloved Jirocho again.
[17:16] Both
Thanks for everything, Jirocho.
[17:24] Jirocho
This isn't good.
[17:26] Jirocho
My eyesight's starting to fail me.
[17:29] Jirocho
First, I can't control my bowels,
[17:32] ---
now I'm leaking up here.
SIGN Greater Edo Hospital
[17:36] Jirocho
I don't want to get any older.
[17:40] Kada
We cannot allow them
to get away with this.
[17:43] Kada
Just you wait, Devas.
[17:45] Kada
I can no longer turn back.
[17:47] Kada
I will do anything to obtain
the Kabuki District.
[17:50] Pirako
I've been waiting for you, Lady Kada.
[17:53] Kada
You're...!
[17:55] Pirako
Sorry, but could you not interfere?
[17:58] Pirako
I finally get to see my old man look...
[18:02] Kada
Silence!
[18:03] Kada
Don't you understand that you're
the one who's interfering?!
[18:07] Pirako
I do.
[18:09] Pirako
My interference is over.
[18:11] Pirako
But I'm taking you with me!
[18:14] Kada
You're the only one who's leaving!
[18:19] Pirako
Br-Bro!
[18:21] Shin
Sacrificing yourself
to take out the enemy...
[18:23] Kagura
won't be enough to make up
[18:25] ---
for everything you've done, bitch!
[18:27] Gin
There you have it.
[18:29] Gin
Whatcha gonna do now, Pirako-chan?
[18:33] Pirako
My job is finished.
[18:35] Pirako
You can have your way with me.
[18:38] Gin
Sad.
[18:40] Gin
Don't you need to settle
things with your old man?
[18:43] Pirako
I have.
[18:45] Pirako
You took all the glory though.
[18:49] Pirako
You're the one who saved my old man.
[18:52] Pirako
I didn't expect you to protect him...
[18:54] Pirako
No, it wasn't just you.
[18:57] Pirako
This town has
[18:59] ---
wonderful people who help one another
[19:02] ---
despite their differences.
[19:04] Pirako
They do more than take away...
[19:05] Pirako
If I could be like them...
[19:10] Pirako
But it's okay now.
[19:12] Pirako
The father I wanted to see...
[19:14] Pirako
The father who Mom and I were waiting for...
[19:18] Pirako
...is back.
[19:23] Pirako
Bro... Everyone...
[19:25] Pirako
I can't apologize for what I've done,
[19:28] Pirako
but let me say this.
[19:31] Pirako
Thank you for letting me see my
[19:33] ---
father one last time!
[19:35] Pirako
I couldn't be my father's
daughter or the Bro's underling,
[19:40] Pirako
but I was very happy to be
a resident of this town,
[19:44] ---
if only for a moment.
[19:46] Pirako
Please let me take responsibility
for what I've done...
[19:49] Gin
Sorry, but I'm not
sadistic enough to beat
[19:51] ---
up a crying little girl.
[19:53] Gin
Besides, I'm tired.
[19:55] Gin
Go wait at the place listed there.
[19:57] Gin
I'll deal with you once I'm healed up.
[20:00] Gin
You better be done crying by then.
[20:06] Girl
Let's try that place next time.
[20:09] Girl
Sure.
SIGN Bar Chono
[20:10] Bar
What?
[20:11] Bar
You want to know who the strongest
man in the Kabuki District is?
[20:14] Bar
You must be new in town.
[20:16] Bar
Won't last long with that attitude.
[20:20] Bar
Forget it.
[20:21] Bar
This town is on a whole different level.
[20:23] Bar
It's too dangerous.
[20:24] Bar
With the fall of the Deva Kada
[20:26] ---
and the retirement of the Deva Jirocho,
[20:28] Bar
the fragile balance of power
is beginning to crumble.
[20:33] Bar
The town's never been this tense before.
[21:24] Pirako
Is that you, Bro?
[21:27] Jirocho
'Tis an honor.
[21:29] Jirocho
I was born and raised in
the Kabuki District of Edo,
[21:32] Jirocho
where I lived as a ruffian
in a town of ruffians,
[21:36] Jirocho
always surrounded by steel.
[21:40] Jirocho
I am ashamed to admit
that I have walked astray
[21:44] Jirocho
and was guided by my brothers
[21:47] Jirocho
to embark on a journey of redemption
[21:48] ---
to regain that which I have lost.
[21:52] Jirocho
I have been called boss,
warrior, and many other names,
[21:57] Jirocho
but I have given them up.
[22:01] Jirocho
I am the father of Pirako Chin,
[22:03] Jirocho
Jirocho.
[22:09] ---
It's rude, but may I ask who you are?
[22:12] Pirako
I-I am the newest member
of the Odd Jobs family
[22:17] ---
in the Kabuki District of Edo...
[22:20] Pirako
On a journey to find my missing father...
[22:25] Pirako
I was guided here by the
kindness of my brothers.
[22:33] Pirako
I am the daughter of Jirocho,
[22:35] Pirako
Pirako Chin!
[22:41] Jirocho
We must have been brought
together by fate.
[22:45] Jirocho
Would you mind
[22:48] ---
if I accompanied you on your journey?
[23:26] Jirocho
I'm home.
SIGN Next Episode: Odd or Even
[23:31] Takasugi
Next time:
[23:32] Takasugi
Odd
[23:33] Kamui
Or even?
[23:34] ---
E215 - Odds or Evens
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:47] Kada
Odds or evens...?
[01:50] Kamui
I'll go with evens.
[01:55] Kada
Odds...
[01:57] Kamui
Oops.
[01:59] Kamui
I lost.
[02:00] Abuto
Tragic.
[02:02] Abuto
The captain of the Harusame's 4th Squad
[02:05] Abuto
was once considered a lone
flower in the darkness,
[02:09] Abuto
but after losing out
in a grab for power,
[02:14] Abuto
she stole money from the
group and disappeared.
[02:17] Abuto
I never expected her
to come back like this.
[02:20] Kamui
No kidding.
[02:21] Kamui
I never expected you to be a
sucker for a vixen like her.
[02:25] Abuto
Kids wouldn't understand.
[02:27] Abuto
We live in an age where everything
[02:29] ---
fits in the palm of your hand.
[02:32] Abuto
But you want a woman who
isn't so easy to hold on to.
[02:35] Kamui
Like a DS?
[02:36] Abuto
She's more like a Genesis.
[02:38] Kamui
I see.
[02:39] Kamui
No wonder it was so hard to find her.
[02:42] Kamui
We're talking about your
beloved Genesis here.
[02:46] Kamui
But it looks like she couldn't
fit in down there either.
[02:48] Kamui
She gambled and lost.
[02:51] Kamui
And so did you.
[02:53] Abuto
Hey!
[02:54] Abuto
Don't jump to conclusions.
[02:56] Abuto
I'm not like a certain stupid captain.
[02:58] Abuto
I don't let my emotions
get in the way of my work.
[03:00] Kamui
Yeah, yeah.
[03:01] Abuto
Besides, she changed her face
[03:02] ---
and name when she escaped to Earth.
[03:05] Abuto
How was I supposed to recognize her?
[03:06] Kamui
Yeah, yeah.
[03:07] Abuto
And I'm a Nintendo fan, not a Sega fan!
[03:10] Abuto
You listening?!
[03:11] Kamui
Oh well.
[03:12] Kamui
I was interested in seeing the
[03:15] ---
exalted team work of the Shinra,
[03:17] Kamui
but they were just a bunch of grunts
[03:18] ---
who stood no chance
one-on-one against a Yato.
[03:20] Kamui
Wouldn't be much of a fight.
[03:23] Kamui
Anyway, they stole my glory again.
[03:27] Kamui
We should go show our gratitude.
[03:38] Kamui
To the samurai.
SIGN Odds or Evens
[03:49] Kamui
Shinsuke Takasugi?
[03:51] Aho
You haven't heard of him?
[03:52] Aho
He signed a pact with us.
[03:55] Aho
He's the leader of the mercenary
group known as the Kiheitai.
[03:58] Kamui
Are they from Earth?
[04:00] Aho
They're samurai, I think.
[04:02] Aho
The remnants of those savages
[04:03] ---
who resisted until the very end
[04:05] Aho
when we opened up their land.
[04:09] Kamui
Admiral Assho--
[04:10] Kamui
I mean, Admiral Abo.
[04:12] ---
He must be very special for
you to remember his name.
[04:15] Aho
He only cooperates with us
[04:17] ---
when our interests happen to coincide,
[04:19] Aho
but he can be very useful.
[04:20] Aho
You could consider them the
Harusame's enforcers on Earth.
[04:26] Aho
They were responsible for
hunting down that vixen.
[04:31] Kamui
Oh, really?
[04:32] Aho
However, there is one
issue that concerns me.
[04:35] Aho
I've heard that they are actually
[04:37] Aho
a terrorist group which seeks to
[04:39] ---
unseat the government of Edo.
[04:41] Aho
But when we struck a deal
[04:43] ---
with the central ward which
[04:44] ---
allowed us to sneak into Edo,
[04:47] Aho
they offered to draw the
government's trained dogs
[04:49] ---
away from us.
[04:51] Aho
Do you know why?
[04:54] Kamui
That's easy.
[04:58] Kamui
Each side is using the other,
[05:01] Kamui
so they're using the Harusame
[05:02] Kamui
to get close to the Bakufu and
[05:04] ---
take down the central ward.
[05:06] Aho
What?! Really?!
[05:09] Aho
I mean, you're absolutely right!
[05:10] Aho
They're plotting terrible things!
[05:13] Aho
Yes, I knew all along!
[05:15] Aho
S-So that's how it was...
[05:18] Aho
Damn!
[05:19] Kamui
We finally obtained the right to
[05:21] ---
strip Earth of its valuable resources.
[05:24] Kamui
If they succeed, we'll lose
all our business there.
[05:28] Kamui
Well, I doubt that Takasugi person
[05:30] ---
stands a chance against
the Tendo or the elders,
[05:34] Kamui
but he can probably crush our forces.
[05:37] Aho
I-If that happens, the
elders will have my hide!
[05:42] Kamui
That's true.
[05:43] Kamui
Well, do the best you can.
[05:45] Kamui
Thanks for the food!
[05:47] Aho
W-Wait, Kamui!
[05:49] Aho
Why do you think I summoned you here?!
[05:52] Kamui
For a free meal?
[05:54] Aho
No!
[05:55] Aho
The 7th Squad is responsible
for cleaning up our messes!
[06:01] Kamui
So what do you want me to do?
[06:05] Aho
Dispose of the tools
that we no longer need.
[06:08] Koro
Good grief.
[06:10] Koro
Strong words, coming from a
tool that never had any use but as a decoration.
[06:13] Koro
This place would be much more
[06:15] ---
comfortable if we disposed of that pig.
[06:18] Kamui
Aren't you both four-legged creatures?
[06:21] Kamui
Can't you get along, Captain Koro?
[06:23] Koro
Kamui...
[06:25] Koro
You have the backing of
[06:27] ---
the captains of the twelve squads.
[06:29] Koro
We're ready to throw our support
[06:31] ---
behind you at a moment's notice.
[06:32] Koro
Admiral Asshole is just
a puppet for the elders.
[06:37] Koro
All he cares about is his own safety.
[06:39] Koro
I wanna work for someone
who will let me run wild.
[06:44] Abuto
Then why don't you take control, Koro?
[06:48] Koro
I can't lead.
[06:49] Koro
I just want to go crazy
and not have to think.
[06:52] Abuto
You sound just like our boss.
[06:54] Koro
Besides, I have an eyepatch over one eye
[06:57] Koro
and a hook instead of a hand.
[06:59] Koro
I'm not captain material.
[07:00] Abuto
No, you're the spitting
image of a captain.
[07:03] Abuto
You're clearly gunning
to be the captain.
[07:05] Koro
Anyway, I'm willing to lend you a hand.
[07:09] Koro
If you're gonna take down that
Takasugi fool, count me in.
[07:11] Kamui
Don't interfere.
[07:13] Kamui
I finally found myself another samurai.
[07:16] Kamui
Abuto, isolate Takasugi
from his minions.
[07:20] Kamui
Take the fleet and wipe out his men.
[07:23] Kamui
Captain Koro, you're
free to help out there.
[07:26] Abuto
Here we go again...
[07:28] Kamui
Sorry, but I won't let
anyone ruin my fun.
[07:37] Matako
I can't stand space.
[07:40] Matako
It's so dark everywhere.
[07:42] Matako
Can't tell if we're moving
forward or backward.
[07:47] Matako
Lord Shinsuke, are we
moving forward right now?
[07:53] Matako
Sorry about sounding so whiny.
[07:55] Matako
I've been getting worried.
[07:58] Takasugi
Doesn't matter which way we're going.
[08:00] Takasugi
If you get lost,
[08:03] Takasugi
just follow my lead.
[08:05] Takasugi
Whether you're deep underground
or far above the clouds,
[08:08] Takasugi
I promise to take you to our goal.
[08:11] Takasugi
There's no need to worry
[08:13] Takasugi
as long as you believe in me.
[08:16] Matako
L-Lord Shinsuke!
[08:17] Matako
I... I'll follow you to hell and back!
[08:20] Takasugi
We share the same goal.
[08:23] Takasugi
Let us march on.
[08:24] Takasugi
Now sign this petition.
[08:28] Takasugi
We oppose the
[08:29] ---
Greater Edo Ordinance Regarding
the Healthy Development of Youths!
[08:33] Takasugi
Before you try to regulate free speech,
[08:34] ---
you should learn to
regulate your own heart!
[08:36] Takasugi
Pedophilia predates manga and anime!
[08:40] Takasugi
Is it not our goal to foster
a culture of acceptance?!
[08:43] Takasugi
Incidentally, I'm not a
pedophile. I'm a feminist.
[08:50] Matako
Bansai-senpai.
[08:51] Matako
Where's Lord Shinsuke?
[08:53] Bansai
He stayed behind on the mothership
[08:54] Bansai
because the admiral needed
him for something.
[08:56] Bansai
We're supposed to return
to Edo without him.
[08:59] Matako
Needed him for what?
[09:00] Bansai
Well, I haven't the slightest idea.
[09:03] Matako
I have a bad feeling about this.
[09:06] Matako
Was it a mistake to join
forces with the Harusame?
[09:10] Bansai
Why are you saying this now?
[09:12] Bansai
We will defeat the Bakufu
and rebuild the world.
[09:16] Bansai
Didn't you agree to the plan?
[09:18] Matako
But we're out of our league...
[09:21] Matako
The Kiheitai aren't
on the same level as a
[09:26] ---
galactic crime syndicate.
[09:28] Matako
Soon enough, we'll become their pawns.
[09:32] Matako
The way things stand,
[09:34] ---
we've sunken to the level of the
[09:36] ---
Amanto-ass-kissing Bakufu.
[09:38] Matako
Besides, now that the
Bakufu and Harusame
[09:41] ---
are working together,
[09:42] Matako
we've become a liability.
[09:46] Matako
What if Lord Shinsuke is...
[09:49] Bansai
So in other words, you're
worried about Shinsuke?
[09:52] Bansai
Don't worry.
[09:54] Bansai
That man won't fall
before the Bakufu does.
[09:56] Bansai
Did you forget the promise he made?
[10:00] Takasugi
I'll simply destroy...
[10:04] Takasugi
...the Greater Edo Ordinance Regarding
the Healthy Development of Youths!
[10:08] Matako
Don't mess up my memories!
[10:10] Matako
Die!
[10:11] Matako
We'll destroy you first!
[10:13] A
Master Bansai!
[10:14] A
There's a Harusame fleet ahead of us!
[10:17] Bansai
What? Do they truly
intend to eliminate us?!
[10:20] Matako
L-Lord Shinsuke!
[10:24] Kamui
Hey.
[10:25] Kamui
So we meet again.
[10:28] Kamui
Sorry about cutting
straight to the chase,
[10:30] Kamui
but either way, you're going to
be surprised when I say this.
[10:33] Kamui
Please die.
[10:35] Takasugi
That's not much of a surprise.
[10:37] Takasugi
It was obvious from the
moment I first saw you.
[10:41] Kamui
You're sharp.
[10:43] Kamui
You see, I've been dying
to fight a samurai
[10:46] ---
from the moment I first saw one.
[10:48] Kamui
And you kind of smell the same
[10:51] ---
as that other samurai.
[10:54] Takasugi
What a coincidence.
[10:55] Takasugi
I've been dying to kill
that stupid samurai
[10:58] ---
with the silver hair.
[11:00] Kamui
You must have super powers or something.
[11:05] Kamui
Is there a secret behind
that left eye of yours?
[11:08] Koro
Kamui!
[11:12] Kamui
I told you not to interfere.
[11:15] Koro
I won't interfere.
[11:23] Kamui
Huh?
[11:23] Koro
Kamui, we're here to kill you.
[11:31] Abuto
Did I miss a message or something?
[11:34] Abuto
Nobody ever mentioned that
[11:35] ---
we were up against such a big family.
[11:38] Aho
You Yato are too dangerous.
[11:40] Aho
A blade that's too sharp will
attract many foes, Kamui.
[11:44] Kamui
You got me good.
[11:46] Kamui
Never expected Admiral Asshole
to pull a fast one on me.
[11:48] Takasugi
I'll kill that idiot for you.
[11:51] Takasugi
So feel free to rest in peace.
[12:03] A
Vice-captain!
[12:04] A
There's a Harusame fleet
behind the Kiheitai!
[12:06] A
It's Captain Koro's 8th Squad,
[12:09] A
along with the admiral's personal fleet!
[12:14] Abuto
Looks like we were tricked.
[12:19] Bansai
Wh-What's going on?
[12:21] Matako
The Harusame are fighting each other?
[12:23] Takechi
There's no need to worry, folks.
[12:26] Takechi
Everything is going according to plan.
[12:28] Matako
Takechi-senpai...
[12:30] Takechi
That is the Harusame's 7th Squad.
[12:32] Takechi
The strongest Harusame force, drawn from
[12:34] ---
the elite ranks of the
Yato, the warrior tribe.
[12:37] Takechi
Their leader, the brilliant Lord Kamui,
[12:40] ---
is more highly regarded
than the admiral now.
[12:44] Takechi
The 12 squad captains are looking
to overthrow the admiral
[12:47] Takechi
and name Lord Kamui as their leader.
[12:50] Bansai
So by that reasoning,
[12:52] Bansai
that fool of an admiral
[12:54] ---
intends to eliminate the 7th Squad,
[12:56] ---
which threatens his position?
[12:59] Takechi
Exactly.
[13:01] Takechi
We were used as bait to isolate
and crush the 7th Squad,
[13:06] ---
the strongest of them all.
[13:08] Matako
So we're being used
by the Harusame again?
[13:12] Takechi
It's easier for us to take advantage
[13:15] ---
of that useless admiral.
[13:19] Bansai
But still...
[13:21] Bansai
Destroying your own fangs to
hold onto your position...
[13:24] Bansai
There are always more fools
[13:25] ---
when an organization begins to grow.
[13:30] Aho
Friend Takasugi, that
was an excellent job!
[13:33] Aho
There are no longer any
rogue elements to oppose me!
[13:36] Aho
You also performed admirably, Koro.
[13:39] Koro
No, Admiral Assho...
[13:42] ---
Admiral Abo.
[13:43] Koro
I was simply performing
my duty as one of
[13:45] ---
the 12 squad captains.
[13:46] Koro
Now that Kamui has been
made an example of,
[13:49] Koro
the captains who supported
Kamui will come
[13:51] ---
to their senses and swear fealty to you.
[13:54] Takasugi
It was kind of a waste.
[13:57] Aho
Hm?
[13:58] Takasugi
That kid took enough poison to
[14:01] ---
instantly leave an
elephant incapacitated,
[14:04] Takasugi
but he was able to fend off my blade
[14:05] Takasugi
while smiling the entire time.
[14:08] Takasugi
And he managed to kill off
[14:10] ---
twenty or so of your men,
despite his injuries.
[14:14] Takasugi
I have a feeling that his absence
[14:16] ---
will be far more damaging
[14:18] Takasugi
than what he did to your men.
[14:20] Aho
It doesn't matter.
[14:21] Aho
Your Kiheitai can fill the
void he's left behind.
[14:26] Takasugi
Sorry, but I'll pass.
[14:29] Takasugi
It's better to be the head of
a cat than the tail of a lion.
[14:32] Takasugi
I'd rather be a bandit chief
than a pirate or bigwig.
[14:37] Takasugi
Besides, I'm not giving
up the Kiheitai name.
[14:42] Aho
Allow me to compensate you...
[14:44] Takasugi
I don't need anything.
[14:45] Takasugi
Let's keep it simple, just like before.
[14:49] Koro
Be careful.
[14:51] Koro
He's harder to read than Kamui was.
[14:55] Aho
I know.
[14:57] Aho
No more fooling around.
[15:01] Kada
Odds or evens, odds or evens...?
[15:07] Takasugi
Odds.
[15:11] Kada
Too bad...
[15:12] Kada
Evens...
[15:14] Kamui
Oops, now it's your turn to die.
[15:17] Kamui
That gambler's cursed.
[15:19] Kamui
If you lose, you run out of luck.
[15:22] Kamui
I lost, so I know what
I'm talking about.
[15:26] Takasugi
Coming from a monster who
doesn't die when killed...
[15:30] Kamui
They patched me up and spared my life
[15:32] Kamui
so I could be executed in
front of the others, right?
[15:37] Kamui
When's the big day?
[15:38] Takasugi
In three days.
[15:39] Kamui
Three days...
[15:41] Kamui
I wonder which one of us will die first.
[15:43] Kamui
I'm sure you've figured it out already.
[15:46] Kamui
The people here only
care about themselves.
[15:50] Kamui
Doesn't matter how hard you work.
[15:52] Kamui
They'll just abuse you
as much as they can
[15:54] Kamui
before they get rid of you.
[15:56] Takasugi
True.
[15:58] Takasugi
I would prefer to be used by someone
[16:00] ---
who isn't so pathetic.
[16:03] Takasugi
Those sharp fangs of yours
will only rot in this place.
[16:11] Kamui
Why did you come here?
[16:15] Takasugi
I'm the same as you.
[16:17] Takasugi
Searching for a place to
use my sharpened fangs.
[16:24] Takasugi
But this leaky boat
won't take me anywhere.
[16:28] Takasugi
I'd rather hitch a ride on your ship.
[16:35] Takasugi
See ya, space fighter.
[16:39] B
I don't see how the admiral
took out the 7th Squad...
[16:43] B
Did he have help from the elders?
[16:45] A
No, I heard that the idea came
from Takasugi of the Kiheitai.
[16:49] B
It's a sad story.
[16:51] B
Those guys worked their
asses off for the Harusame.
[16:54] A
Nobody's doing jack for
the sake of the Harusame.
[16:58] A
If someone is in the
way, you eliminate them.
[17:01] A
That's how it goes in the Harusame.
[17:05] Aho
Men, take a long, hard look!
[17:07] Aho
This is what happens to
those who defy my authority!
[17:10] Aho
When you cross me, you cross the elders!
[17:12] Aho
When you cross the elders,
you cross the Harusame!
[17:16] Aho
When there is no order,
[17:18] ---
a battle-hardened army will
be reduced to a headless mob!
[17:21] C
How can he say that crap
with a straight face?
[17:24] Aho
Kamui, do you have any last words?
[17:27] Kamui
Can I say something real quick?
[17:29] Aho
Yes.
[17:31] Kamui
Admiral Asshole!
[17:33] Aho
Kill him! Kill him now!
[17:35] Takasugi
Hold on, Admiral Assho--
[17:37] Takasugi
Admiral Abo.
[17:39] Takasugi
Will you allow me to kill him?
[17:41] Aho
Huh?
[17:42] Takasugi
Unfortunately, I never had the
chance to fight him one-on-one,
[17:46] Takasugi
but I can at least serve
as the executioner.
[17:49] Koro
On my signal, jump Takasugi.
[17:55] Takasugi
Our luck ran out when I
got on this leaky boat.
[18:02] Kamui
You're saying that we share
the same fight, Earth fighter?
[18:06] Takasugi
Who knows?
[18:08] Takasugi
All I know is that neither of us
will be doing any sightseeing.
[18:12] Kamui
Sure we will.
[18:13] Kamui
Down in hell.
[18:17] Takasugi
You bet.
[18:30] Takasugi
Have a nice nap in hell,
[18:33] Takasugi
leaky boat crew.
[18:49] Aho
Wh-What?!
[18:53] Kamui
I told you so.
[18:54] Kamui
That gambler's cursed.
[18:56] Kamui
I wanted to see which one
of us would die first,
[18:59] Kamui
but you're trying to
get us killed together?
[19:01] Takasugi
It's more fun to dance
[19:03] ---
with a batshit crazy idiot
than a plain old idiot.
[19:10] Kamui
Samurai are a blast.
[19:14] Aho
Takasugi!
[19:15] Aho
You're nothing more than tools
that are no longer needed!
[19:17] Aho
I'll turn you into spacedust!
[19:20] Takasugi
You're the one who's no longer needed.
[19:23] Takasugi
Didn't you hear me?
[19:24] Takasugi
I'm the executioner here,
[19:27] Takasugi
the only executioner
needed in this place.
[19:32] Takasugi
Off with your heads.
[19:41] Matako
Lord Shinsuke!
[19:43] Matako
This is how the Joi do it!
[19:45] Matako
I'll follow you to hell and back!
[19:48] Takechi
Are you insane?!
[19:49] Takechi
You believe that we stand a
chance against the Harusame?
[19:52] Takechi
We should be focusing our resources
[19:54] Takechi
on the Greater Edo Ordinance Reg...
[19:57] Bansai
You'd have to be insane...
[20:00] Bansai
...to pick a fight with
the rest of the world!
[20:03] Aho
Accursed monkeys!
[20:05] Aho
What are you doing?!
[20:06] Aho
Crush them!
[20:08] Koro
What?!
[20:11] Abuto
Oh?
[20:12] Abuto
I rowed out here because I was worried,
[20:16] Abuto
but you're looking better than usual.
[20:18] Abuto
Blockhead.
[20:20] Aho
The 7th Squad!
[20:21] Aho
Impossible!
[20:22] Aho
Why are they alive?!
[20:24] Koro
Admiral!
[20:25] Koro
Bad news!
[20:26] Koro
Now that the 7th Squad is back,
[20:28] Koro
the other squads are beginning
to side with them!
[20:31] Koro
Th-The tables have been reversed.
[20:34] Koro
Huh?
[20:34] Koro
Admiral!
[20:37] Aho
C-Curse you, Kamui, Takasugi!
[20:39] Aho
You won't get away with this!
[20:40] Koro
A-Admiral!
[20:41] Koro
Why are you running away by yourself?!
[20:43] Koro
Take me with you, Admiral Asshole!
[20:45] Aho
Ah! You finally said it!
[20:47] Aho
I kept pretending that I didn't hear
you, but you finally said it to my face!
[20:50] Aho
You're a dead man!
[20:51] Aho
Get this ship moving!
[20:53] Aho
What are you doing?!
[20:54] Koro
Shut up!
[20:55] Koro
My men always do the work,
so I have no idea what to do!
[20:57] Aho
Don't you have a hook on your hand?!
[20:59] Aho
You're supposed to be a captain!
[21:00] Koro
You're supposed to be an admiral!
[21:01] Koro
Huh?
[21:02] Koro
H-Hey!
[21:03] Koro
What's that?!
[21:04] Aho
Ka-Kamui!
[21:06] Kamui
It's not Kamui, Admiral Asshole.
[21:09] Kamui
Starting today,
[21:10] Kamui
I'm Admiral Nincompoop.
[21:18] Kamui
I owe you big now.
[21:21] Kamui
Oh well.
[21:22] Kamui
Guess I'll have to put off
our fight for a while.
[21:25] Kamui
Besides, I'm looking forward
to touring hell with you.
[21:29] Kamui
Now, where do we start?
[21:32] Kamui
I'm guessing the planet of samurai?
[21:37] Kada
Odds or evens, odds or evens...?
[21:44] Takasugi
Evens.
[21:46] Kada
Too bad...
[21:48] Kada
Odds...
SIGN Next Episode I Can't Remember a Damn Thing About the Factory Tour
[23:30] Gin
Next time:
[23:31] Gin
I can't remember a damn thing
about the factory tour.
[23:34] ---
E216 - I Can't Remember a Damn Thing About the Factory Tour
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[01:31] Gin
What? A tour?
[01:33] Kagura
My friend, Satsuki-chan,
[01:35] Kagura
asked for an educational tour of
[01:36] ---
Odd Jobs to fulfill an assignment.
[01:38] Gin
Stop offering to do stuff
that's a pain in the ass.
[01:42] Shin
If she wants to see us at work,
[01:44] ---
we don't have any jobs today.
[01:45] Gin
We haven't had any jobs in forever.
[01:48] Shin
We don't want to ruin
[01:49] ---
the hopes and dreams of young children.
[01:53] Kagura
No!
[01:54] Kagura
I want to show them how great
Odd Jobs Kagura-chan is!
[01:56] Kagura
Do something about it, scumbags!
[01:58] Gin
Stop tacking on random insults.
[02:01] Kagura
She's here!
[02:02] Kagura
You guys better act like grown-ups.
[02:05] Kagura
Don't do anything weird!
[02:07] Kagura
Welcome, Satsuki-chan!
[02:09] Satsuki
Sorry, Kagura-chan.
[02:11] ---
I'm sure that you're busy.
[02:13] Kids
Thank you!
SIGN I Can't Remember a Damn
Thing About the Factory Tour
[02:20] Kagura
This is our strategist/Supreme
[02:21] ---
Commander of Eastern Operations,
Strategos Shimura.
[02:24] Shin
Supreme Commander of
Eastern Operations?!
[02:25] Kagura
Shut up and follow my lead.
[02:28] Kagura
Just say stuff that sounds cool.
[02:30] Satsuki
Wow, Supreme Commander
of Eastern Operations...
[02:33] Satsuki
Um, what kind of work
do you do at Odd Jobs?
[02:37] Shin
O-Our president will explain that,
[02:39] ---
so come on inside.
[02:41] Kagura
President, the kids are
here for their tour.
[02:45] ---
May we come in?
[02:53] Shin
He's turned the room into
a workshop or something...
[02:57] Shin
Uh, President?
[02:58] Gin
Bah, it's no use.
[02:59] Gin
The naked refuses to
jack in to the solid.
[03:02] Shin
U-Uh, President...
[03:04] Gin
Could you shut the door?
[03:06] Gin
If you let the heat escape,
[03:07] ---
my Patriot will cool down and harden.
[03:09] Satsuki
Oh, s-sorry!
[03:11] Shin
What's a Patriot supposed to be?
[03:13] Shin
I have no idea what's going on,
[03:13] ---
but the president sounds
like a real craftsman.
[03:15] Satsuki
Um, we're here to see you at work.
[03:18] Gin
Do you prefer Calcutta or Meso Gear?
[03:21] Satsuki
Huh?
[03:21] Gin
If you're here, you must prefer one.
[03:26] Shin
Ignore them.
[03:27] Shin
Ignore their pleas for help.
[03:30] Satsuki
I-I like Calcutta.
[03:32] A
M-Me too.
[03:33] Shin
They randomly chose one!
[03:33] B
Me too.
[03:33] Shin
They randomly chose Calcutta!
[03:35] Gin
I see, you choose Calcutta.
[03:37] Gin
Hmph, how precocious of you.
[03:40] Gin
Here.
[03:41] Gin
Calcutta should be
enjoyed while it's hot.
[03:43] Satsuki
Th-Thank you very much!
[03:44] A
This is Calcutta?
[03:46] B
It looks like coffee.
[03:47] Shin
Why didn't you just ask them
if they liked coffee or not?!
[03:49] Shin
You're pissing me off!
[03:51] Gin
I once tried to be
brave and try Calcutta.
[03:55] Gin
But now I'm a devout fan of Meso Gear.
SIGN Edo Strawberry Milk
[03:57] Gin
I believe that my
dedication to Meso Gear
[03:59] ---
was a product of that bitter experience.
[04:01] Shin
He's throwing together
a bunch of fancy phrases
[04:03] ---
to say absolutely nothing at all!
[04:04] A
Can we get started?
[04:06] A
What do you Odd Jobs people even do?
[04:10] Gin
Well, it's quite difficult
to explain what we do.
[04:13] Gin
You could say that we are
essentially a secret society
[04:15] Gin
involved in the production
and sale of this Patriot.
[04:18] Shin
That would make us Patriot salesmen!
[04:20] A
What is this Pastry...
[04:21] Gin
Patriot.
[04:22] A
What is this Patriot used for?
[04:27] Gin
Don't make me laugh.
[04:30] Gin
What is a Patriot used for, Kagura-kun?
[04:33] Kagura
Kids say the darndest
things, right, President?
[04:37] Shin
What's with them?
[04:38] Shin
They're pissing me off!
[04:39] Gin
Let me ask you this then.
[04:41] Gin
What's that below your nose?
[04:44] Gin
Every person has a peculiar indentation
[04:47] ---
between their nose and mouth.
[04:48] Gin
What is that used for?
[04:51] A
I-I don't know...
[04:53] Gin
Of course.
[04:54] Gin
Now, back to the Patriot.
[04:57] Gin
It's pretty much like that.
[04:58] Shin
So you don't know either?!
[05:00] Gin
Whether it's the indentation
below your nose
[05:02] Gin
or the built-in microphone on the
[05:04] ---
Famicom's second player controller,
[05:06] Gin
there are many things in this
world that make no sense.
[05:08] Gin
However, humans are meant
to eat, poop, and sleep.
[05:11] Gin
Everything else we do is useless.
[05:14] Gin
Our creations fall into that category.
[05:17] Shin
So after making a pompous speech,
[05:19] ---
all you're saying is that we make junk!
[05:21] Daigoro
Okay.
[05:23] Daigoro
So you do useless work
making useless stuff?
[05:28] Gin
It seems that you didn't
understand what I was saying.
[05:30] Gin
My point was that useless can
be valuable in its own way.
[05:33] Daigoro
Yeah, but...
[05:34] DaigorO
If all Odd Jobs does
is make useless stuff,
[05:37] Daigoro
doesn't that mean the
members are also useless?
[05:41] Shin
What's with this kid?
[05:42] Satsuki
That's not nice, Daigoro-kun.
[05:43] Daigoro
Satsuki-chan, we can call off the tour.
[05:47] Daigoro
It's clear that these Odd Jobs people
[05:49] ---
do useless work that
doesn't help society.
[05:51] Shin
Wait a moment!
[05:52] Kagura
While the Patriot may look
useless, it is, in fact,
[05:55] Kagura
a multimedia product which can be
[05:56] ---
used in a number of useless games.
[05:58] Daigoro
Oh? Really?
[06:00] Daigoro
What kind of games are
you talking about?
[06:01] Kagura
For example...
[06:03] Kagura
You can use the Patriot missile to whack
[06:04] ---
the head of someone who pisses you off.
[06:06] Shin
You don't need the Patriot to do that!
[06:09] Daigoro
I knew it.
[06:11] Daigoro
I can't believe that people actually
[06:13] ---
pay you scum to make this trash.
[06:16] Shin
Daigoro-kun?!
[06:17] Shin
You sound like a different person
after the beating to your head!
[06:20] Daigoro
Satsuki, I'm going home.
[06:21] Daigoro
I've had enough.
[06:23] Satsuki
Daigoro-kun!
[06:24] Gin
Wait, boy.
[06:25] Gin
You didn't drink your Calcutta...
[06:26] Daigoro
Sorry, Mr. President.
[06:27] Daigoro
I don't like Calcutta or Meso Gear.
[06:30] Daigoro
I go for Bourbon.
[06:31] Shin
That's pretty hard-boiled!
[06:33] Shin
What's with this kid?!
[06:34] Daigoro
I'll need to work hard to find
[06:36] ---
a real job so I don't
end up like you slobs.
[06:38] Daigoro
Thanks for showing me what it's like
[06:40] ---
at the bottom of society, Odd Jobs.
[06:46] Shin
Cheer up, Gin-san.
[06:49] Shin
A child wouldn't be able to understand
[06:51] ---
how incredible Odd Jobs truly is.
[06:52] Kagura
The other kids said they had fun.
[06:55] Kagura
Though they tossed the Patriots
we gave them as souvenirs.
[06:59] Gin
I started this business from scratch,
[07:03] ---
and I kind of like it.
[07:06] Gin
But I guess kids aren't impressed...
[07:07] Shin
Th-That's not true!
[07:09] Gin
Okay, tell me this then.
[07:11] Gin
What can this be used for?
[07:15] Gin
Can't think of anything, right?!
[07:16] Gin
'Course you can't!
[07:17] Gin
I can't either!
[07:19] Gin
I'm no different from
this piece of junk!
[07:21] Gin
Odd Jobs is trash!
[07:22] Gin
We do work that doesn't mean
a damn thing to society!
[07:27] Shin
He's completely snapped.
[07:29] Shin
It must have been a big shock to him.
[07:32] Shin
Huh? Isn't that Hijikata-san?
[07:34] Hijikata
We patrol the streets to
make sure there aren't any
[07:37] ---
bad people doing bad things.
[07:38] Hijikata
That's the most essential
job of a policeman.
[07:41] A
Ooh!
[07:42] Hijikata
What is it?
[07:43] A
Who would be a bad person?
[07:46] Hijikata
Anyone who breaks the law.
[07:49] A
So the law is always good?
[07:52] Hijikata
In most cases, the law
can be considered good...
[07:54] A
I have a question then!
[07:55] A
You aren't allowed to drop down from
a train platform to the tracks,
[07:58] A
but what if someone jumps down
[07:59] ---
to save a drunk who
happened to fall down?!
[08:02] A
Would someone who stays on the platform
[08:03] ---
as the drunk dies be considered good?!
[08:05] Hijikata
You take those situations case by case.
[08:07] A
A law that's always changing
can't be considered a proper law!
[08:12] Hijikata
I didn't word that right.
[08:14] Hijikata
A person who makes trouble
for others is a bad person.
[08:17] Hijikata
The law doesn't matter.
[08:18] Shin
He just threw out the law!
[08:19] Shin
He got sick of trying
and threw out the law!
[08:21] A
By that logic, you would
be a criminal for exposing
[08:24] ---
us to second-hand smoke!
[08:26] Hijikata
I'm sorry! Too much smoke for you?!
[08:28] Hijikata
Please forgive me! Please forgive me!
[08:30] Shin
This is bad!
[08:31] Shin
He's about to lose it!
[08:31] Shin
He's about to turn into a criminal!
[08:33] A
Could you explain how much
trouble a person must cause
[08:35] A
to be considered a criminal?
[08:37] A
For example...
[08:38] A
We have an individual getting
the snot knocked out of him
[08:40] A
by the woman he keeps stalking.
[08:42] A
Which one is the criminal?
[08:45] Hijikata
Uh...
[08:46] Hijikata
I was just joking.
[08:48] Hijikata
In reality, policemen are...
[08:51] Hijikata
...people involved in the production
and sale of this Patriot.
[08:54] Shin
He threw out everything and
became a Patriot salesman!
[08:56] Shin
What's going on?!
[08:57] Shin
Is this a new fad?!
[08:58] C
Pathetic.
[08:59] C
You switch jobs when
the going gets tough?
[09:01] F
Guess they weren't lying
when they said the police
[09:03] ---
in Japan were going to hell.
[09:06] Shin
Now it's Hijikata-san's turn to lose it.
[09:07] Kagura
I didn't realize you could
use the Patriot that way.
[09:10] Tsukuyo
Stop this foolishness.
[09:12] Shin
Tsukuyo-san?
[09:13] A
Please, lady!
[09:15] A
We want to learn more about
[09:16] ---
the people who work in Yoshiwara!
[09:18] Tsukuyo
And I told you to come
back in a hundred years.
[09:21] Sa
Ooh!
[09:22] Sa
Could you at least teach us how to
[09:25] ---
whip a man in a way
that brings pleasure?
[09:27] Shin
There's a very familiar
freak mixed in there!
[09:31] Tsukuyo
Now, that's the last
thing I would teach you.
[09:34] Sa
I'm in a relationship
with this guy right now.
[09:36] Sa
So you'll take responsibility
[09:38] ---
if something goes wrong
when the time comes?
[09:40] Shin
Nothing will go wrong!
[09:41] Shin
It's all in your head!
[09:43] Tsukuyo
I guess it'll be too late
if something goes wrong.
[09:46] Tsukuyo
Well, it's probably a good idea
[09:48] ---
to learn the general basics now.
[09:50] Tsukuyo
Allow me to explain then.
[09:52] Tsukuyo
If this is that, and this
is where you do that...
[09:54] Shin
What are you doing with that Patriot?!
[09:58] C
That's what girls are like?!
[10:01] Tsukuyo
I was trying to give them a simple
explanation without revealing anything...
[10:04] Sa
Stop playing dumb!
[10:05] Sa
Teach me the secret
techniques of Yoshiwara!
[10:07] Kondo
Well, as you can see, our job isn't
[10:10] ---
always a walk in the park.
[10:12] Kondo
However, we never give up.
[10:14] Kondo
Believe in a better tomorrow
and stay on the trail.
[10:16] Kondo
That's how you become a stalker.
[10:17] Shin
That's not a job!
[10:19] E
Oh!
[10:19] Kondo
Yes, what is it?
[10:21] E
Do you ever want to die?
[10:23] Shin
What kind of question is that?!
[10:25] Kondo
A very good question.
[10:26] Shin
It's not a good question!
[10:28] Kondo
A job is supposed to be painful.
[10:32] Kondo
In that case, you should look
for pain that you can enjoy.
[10:35] Shin
How can you say that while
pretending to be a professional?!
[10:37] Madao
That is naive!
[10:41] Madao
There are many people with
jobs they absolutely hate!
[10:45] Madao
Society needs these people to function!
[10:48] Madao
Look at me!
[10:50] Madao
You think I want to be a Patriot?!
[10:53] Shin
Hey!
[10:54] Shin
I seriously have no idea what
a Patriot is supposed to be!
[10:56] Madao
But I don't have a choice!
[10:58] Madao
If I don't do this, who will?!
[11:00] Madao
This world needs Patriots!
[11:03] Shin
The hell it does!
[11:04] Kondo
The people who always blame others...
[11:07] Kondo
...can never have a better life.
[11:09] Madao
How would you...
[11:10] Madao
How would you know how it
feels to be a Patriot?!
[11:13] Kondo
I know.
[11:14] Madao
Huh?
[11:15] Kondo
After all... After all...
[11:18] Kondo
I'm working two jobs as
both a Patriot and a stalker!
[11:21] Shin
That just means you fail at life!
[11:26] Madao
Y-You too?
[11:28] Kondo
Yeah, you don't have to
bear the burden alone.
[11:31] Kondo
Ask me for help.
[11:35] Madao
Th-Thank you.
[11:38] E
Uh, excuse me.
[11:41] E
So what's a Patriot?
[11:45] Both
No idea.
[11:52] Shin
What are you people doing?
[11:54] Shin
You grown-ups let a bunch
of kids bully you around.
[12:00] Shin
It's the job of a grown-up to
teach kids what's important.
[12:05] Shin
We can't let their tour end like this.
[12:11] Mom
Daigoro, there's a letter for you.
[12:14] Daigoro
Letter?
SIGN Invitation to an educational tour of a Patriot factory.
[12:19] Daigoro
What's this?
[12:22] A
Daigoro!
[12:24] A
You received an invitation too?
[12:26] Daigoro
Oh, you guys also got one?
SIGN Invitation to an educational tour of a Patriot factory.
[12:28] E
I was gonna ignore it,
[12:30] ---
but I heard that we'll
get Dokkiriman stickers.
[12:32] Daigoro
So, what's a Patriot factory?
SIGN Welcome to the Patriot Factory
[12:37] Shin
We've been waiting for you, kids.
[12:40] Kagura
You brats, I mean, nice children
[12:42] Kagura
were chosen from around the world
[12:45] ---
to tour this factory of dreams!
[12:49] Shin
I'm Pachi!
[12:50] Kagura
I'm Gura!
[12:51] Both
We'll be your guides on this
tour of the factory of dreams!
[12:57] B
Isn't this a total rip-off of
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?
[13:00] A
Excuse me, what is the
purpose of this tour?
[13:04] Shin
What? You don't appreciate
our invitation?
[13:06] Kagura
Feel free to leave.
[13:08] Kagura
But you won't get any
Dokkiriman stickers.
[13:10] Kagura
And you'll lose your chance
to learn what Patriots are.
[13:13] Daigoro
Who cares about Patriots...
[13:16] Sa
Look! Look!
[13:17] Sa
It's a Patriot factory!
[13:19] Sa
No way! I don't believe it!
[13:20] Tsukuyo
I never imagined that a Patriot
factory would be here!
[13:23] Tsukuyo
I heard that they were only produced by
[13:25] ---
NASA, the FBI, and the NBA!
[13:28] Sa
Let's take a look.
[13:30] Tsukuyo
Wait, Sarutobi!
[13:36] Hijikata
Chief, I found some suspicious people
[13:39] ---
who were investigating the Patriot.
[13:40] Hijikata
I immediately shot them down.
[13:42] Gin
Roger that.
[13:43] Gin
So the Succeed Committee
has finally made its move.
[13:46] Gin
The time of Ragnarok is upon us.
[13:47] Gin
We must hasten the
development of the Patriot.
[13:49] Hijikata
I also see some funny-looking kids.
[13:51] Hijikata
Should I take them out?
[13:55] Gin
They are my guests.
[13:58] Gin
The last hope of humanity.
[14:00] Gin
The children who will
inherit the Patriots.
[14:02] Gin
Welcome to the Patriot factory tour.
[14:05] Kagura
Chief!
[14:07] Kagura
The kids aren't interested
in the Patriot.
[14:09] Gin
I see.
[14:10] Gin
But you've seen too much already.
[14:13] Gin
Take them out...
[14:16] Kagura
You can leave.
[14:17] Shin
Be careful on the way home.
[14:21] Shin
This way.
[14:22] C
Seriously! We should leave!
[14:24] B
They'll kill us if we leave!
[14:27] Daigoro
We'll have to do as they say and
tour the Patriot factory.
[14:31] E
But...
[14:32] Kagura
Take a look at this.
SIGN History of the Patriot
[14:34] Shin
You can see the history and
[14:36] ---
development of the Patriot here.
[14:38] Shin
Here, you will find the
current Patriot design.
[14:42] Shin
However, Patriots have been
around since the Jomon period.
[14:45] Shin
Thanks to trial and error,
[14:46] ---
we were able to create one of
the essential tools in our life.
[14:48] C
I've never used one before.
[14:50] Shin
This would be the father of the Patriot,
[14:51] Shin
the oldest one known,
which was created by
[14:54] ---
the chief of the Zugomanda tribe.
[14:55] E
Isn't that a drumstick?
[14:57] Shin
It may look like one, but
this is, in fact, a Patriot.
[15:00] Shin
Look over here.
[15:01] Shin
It says "not for
consumption" on the side.
[15:03] A
It has to be edible if
there are preservatives!
[15:05] Kagura
The original Patriot was known as the
[15:09] ---
boned Patriot or Kin(Patriot)Man.
[15:11] C
There's only one word
that would fit in there!
[15:13] Shin
In the Heian period,
[15:14] Shin
the Tang ambassador Zugomaru Kakinomoto
[15:17] ---
altered the design significantly.
[15:19] Shin
He brought ingredients
back from the Tang
[15:21] ---
to make it a Spicy Patriot...
[15:22] A
That's just spicy chicken!
[15:24] A
And somebody took a bite out of it!
[15:25] A
Zugomaru's still got
some around his mouth!
[15:28] Shin
And in the Sengoku period,
[15:29] ---
Zugomanzo turned the
Patriot into something.
[15:32] A
Why is it part of a combo now?!
[15:34] C
Did Zugomanzo even do anything?!
[15:35] C
This is like the history
of fried chicken!
[15:37] Shin
And eventually we reached
the current Patriot design.
[15:41] A
Why?!
[15:42] A
You skipped over the
most important part!
[15:44] Shin
Now that you have some basic
knowledge of the Patriot,
[15:46] Shin
we'll give you a tour of the factory.
[15:49] Shin
We'll see how the
Patriot is constructed.
[15:52] Shin
As you can see, the Patriot
is made up of three parts.
[15:58] Shin
The tissue box, which
is known as the solid.
[16:00] C
Uh, you called it a tissue
box, so why call it the solid?
[16:03] Shin
The toilet paper, which
is known as the naked.
[16:06] Shin
And the stick.
[16:08] A
Why did you stop coming up with names?!
[16:10] Shin
You jack in the three
parts to create a Patriot.
[16:15] Kagura
Look at the conveyor belt.
[16:17] C
I don't see a thing.
[16:19] A
Maybe the place is a mess
because the chief is dead?
[16:24] All
The chief is moving down the belt!
[16:27] Kagura
The first step is to fix
the broken factory chief.
[16:30] Kids
That's where you start?!
[16:31] A
Broken chief?! You're
the ones who broke him!
[16:34] Shin
The factory chief was
broken to begin with.
[16:35] A
Nobody respects the chief!
[16:38] Kagura
First, we use tissues
to wipe up the bloody body.
[16:41] C
That's one of the
parts for the Patriot!
[16:42] C
Start assembling the Patriot already!
[16:44] Shin
Next, we use toilet paper to
wipe away his bloody past.
[16:48] C
Who cares about his past?!
[16:49] C
Make the Patriot already!
[16:51] Kagura
And then you use the
Patriot to wake him up.
[16:54] C
The Patriot's already finished!
[16:56] C
Why would you use a Patriot
to make a Patriot?
[16:58] Shin
Then you repeat the process three times.
[17:00] C
You're just abusing him!
[17:02] C
And aren't these the
people who were shot?
[17:05] Kagura
The chief must settle past accounts
before he can be revived.
[17:08] C
They're just getting revenge!
SIGN Heal
[17:10] Shin
And finally, we send the factory
chief into the healing machine.
[17:14] Shin
The factory chief is complete!
[17:16] C
Nothing changed!
[17:18] Kagura
This is the completed form
of the factory chief.
[17:20] Kagura
He was born broken.
[17:22] C
What was the point of
that whole process then?!
[17:24] Shin
In the second step,
[17:25] ---
we give the assembled
factory chief motivation.
[17:28] Shin
Otherwise known as giving
the factory chief a goal.
[17:29] C
Enough with the chief!
[17:31] Shin
The chief is absolutely necessary
[17:32] ---
for the production of a Patriot,
[17:34] Shin
so this can't be avoided.
[17:35] C
When are you going to make a Patriot?!
[17:37] A
This is turning into a factory
for making factory chiefs!
SIGN I could only see the stars back then.
[17:39] A
Hm? What's that?
[17:41] A
They put him in a school uniform.
[17:46] A
It's so fast!
[17:47] A
I can barely keep up!
[17:49] C
Hey! Look over there!
SIGN Do your best! Become the best factory chief in Japan!!
[17:51] Both
Hooray! Hooray! Do your best!
[17:54] A
Why are they acting like
he's on a train to Tokyo?!
[17:56] Sa
We believe in you!
[17:58] ---
You can become the best
factory chief in Japan!
[18:00] ---
You can do it, Facto!
[18:02] A
His name is Facto?!
[18:04] A
Hey!
[18:05] A
What kind of process is this?!
[18:07] C
Now we have some kind of funky set!
[18:10] Madao
You want to become a factory chief?!
[18:12] Madao
You were destined to inherit
[18:13] ---
my toilet paper business from the
[18:15] ---
day you were born!
[18:17] A
Who's that?!
[18:19] Madao
Go to Edo to work for a tissue factory?!
[18:21] Madao
Don't look down on me!
[18:22] Madao
You think that toilet paper's
only meant for wiping the ass?!
[18:26] B
Why is the factory chief's father here?!
[18:29] Daigoro
This must be a flashback.
[18:31] Daigoro
He was kicked out of his home,
[18:32] ---
which would explain the previous scene.
[18:34] Kondo
Darling!
[18:35] Kondo
Stop it!
[18:37] Kondo
Our son is making paper in his own way!
[18:41] C
Now his mother's here?!
[18:42] Madao
Let me go, Isako!
[18:43] Madao
This is a discussion between men!
[18:45] Madao
Ah, Facto!
[18:46] Madao
Where are you going?!
I'm not finished with you yet!
SIGN Roof
[18:50] A
What are they trying to do?!
[18:51] E
Oh, he's wearing his old clothes again.
[18:54] Hijikata
Oh, chief.
[18:55] Hijikata
Good work.
[18:56] A
He has a buddy with him now!
[18:58] Hijikata
Why are you taking a nap here?
[19:01] A
He's not taking a nap!
[19:02] A
He's been out cold on the
conveyor belt this whole time!
[19:05] Hijikata
Thinking about old times again?
[19:10] Hijikata
Your old man was really something.
[19:12] Hijikata
A family of toilet paper men
who refused to use tissues.
[19:17] Hijikata
When wiping his ass,
[19:19] ---
blowing his nose, writing down notes...
[19:22] Hijikata
He even used toilet paper
for the tires on his car.
[19:24] A
Is the last one even necessary?!
[19:26] Hijikata
You left your home
because you didn't want
[19:29] ---
to follow in his footsteps.
[19:31] Hijikata
And so, you became the
chief of a tissue factory.
[19:34] Hijikata
You still refuse to use toilet paper?
[19:39] Hijikata
You're just as stubborn as your father.
[19:41] Hijikata
Still, chief...
[19:43] Hijikata
If your old man saw you now,
[19:46] Hijikata
I'm sure he'd be willing to use tissues.
[19:53] Kondo
He never changed...
[19:56] Kondo
He was always so stubborn.
[20:00] Kondo
He used toilet paper to wipe
his ass and blow his nose.
[20:04] Kondo
When your tissues first went on sale,
[20:06] ---
he used toilet paper
to wipe away the tears.
[20:09] Kondo
Tissues weren't good enough for him.
[20:12] A
Chief!
[20:14] A
What are you thinking?!
[20:16] A
You really think this
product will sell?!
[20:18] B
I can't go along with this!
[20:19] C
Hey, did you hear?
[20:20] C
The chief has come up
with a crazy new product.
[20:25] Daigoro
D-Don't tell me...
[20:27] C
His job's on the line.
[20:28] C
But he insists on going
through with the idea.
[20:31] Daigoro
It can't be...
[20:32] D
Hey, what kind of product
are we talking about?
[20:35] Daigoro
No way...
[20:36] Gin
Toilet paper and tissue join together.
[20:39] Gin
The ultimate paper for
wiping away your tears.
[20:44] Daigoro
Th-That's the Patriot!
[20:50] Gin
We will now proceed to the final
step for creating a Patriot.
[20:55] B
Look! Above the conveyor belt!
[20:58] Madao
Come, Patriot factory chief!
[21:05] Shin
Do you still think that
Patriots are trash?
[21:09] Kagura
Do you still think that
this job is trash?
[21:13] Shin
Jobs aren't meant to be compared.
[21:15] Shin
When you willingly work for
the sake of someone else,
[21:18] Shin
you're doing your job.
[21:20] Shin
Every job deserves respect.
[21:23] Shin
Because the world needs
all of us to do our jobs.
[21:28] Shin
Would you like to try doing your job?
[21:33] Both
Go help the factory chief.
[21:38] Gin
K-Kids...
[21:41] Kids
You should have just gotten
your ass off the conveyor belt!
[21:47] A
Good work, everyone.
[21:48] E
Yeah, we took out the trash.
[21:51] Daigoro
Those damn fools wasted our
time with that stupid show.
[21:56] Shin
That was an educational experience.
[21:58] Kagura
Yep.
SIGN Next Episode: What Happens
Twice Can Happen Thrice
[23:30] Gin
Next time:
[23:31] Gin
What happens twice can happen thrice!
[23:34] ---
E217 - What Happens Twice Can Happen Thrice
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Greater Edo Pool
[01:41] Gin
Okay, time for a break!
[01:43] Gin
Your lips must have turned purple by now.
[01:45] Gin
Get out of the water for ten minutes, you stupid kids.
[01:47] A
What? I'm fine!
[01:48] B
Leave us alone, lifeguard guy!
[01:50] Gin
Have it your way.
[01:52] Gin
But if you don't play it safe in the pool, you'll be sorry.
[01:55] Gin
Don't come crying to me then.
[01:58] A
You can't scare us!
[02:00] B
Hey, let's play tag!
[02:03] Gin
What's wrong?!
[02:04] Kagura
Lifeguard guy!
[02:06] Kagura
My friend needs help!
[02:08] Kagura
His lips started to turn purple,
[02:10] Kagura
but then it spread
[02:12] Kagura
until his entire body was purple!
[02:15] Gin
You idiot!
[02:16] Gin
I warned you!
[02:17] Gin
Luckily, the purple germs
[02:18] ---
haven't spread to his glasses!
[02:20] Gin
Find a warm blanket, some warm soup,
[02:22] ---
a warm household, and warm glasses at once!
[02:25] Gin
Come back, Ishikawa!
[02:29] Kid
The purple germs will get us!
[02:33] Gin
Now you know how scary the pool is...
[02:35] Madao
What are you people doing?!
[02:37] Madao
I told you to make sure none of the customers drowned in fear!
[02:40] Madao
Why are you scaring them away?!
[02:42] Gin
Hasegawa-san, the pool is a death trap.
[02:45] Gin
These kids need to experience the pain
[02:47] ---
of getting water up your nose, the infections,
[02:49] Gin
and the embarrassment of leaving dirty
[02:51] ---
underwear where everyone can see.
[02:52] Gin
Once they realize how scary the pool is,
[02:55] ---
they've earned the right to play in the water.
[02:57] Madao
They don't need to be scared of turning completely purple!
[03:00] Madao
Seriously! I finally found a job,
[03:02] ---
so don't screw this up for me!
[03:03] Madao
No funny business!
[03:05] Madao
Watch over the kids as they enjoy their summer,
[03:08] Madao
and make sure that they make it home safely!
[03:10] Madao
That's the job of a lifeguard!
[03:12] ---
Got it?!
[03:13] Both
Aye aye, sir!
[03:14] Madao
You don't get to have fun!
[03:17] Madao
Four Eyes!
[03:18] ---
You haven't been playing the straight man!
[03:20] Madao
Do your job, damn it!
[03:21] Gin
Don't worry.
[03:23] Gin
They're checking to see if the water is safe.
[03:26] Gin
I'll be using inception to...
[03:28] Madao
You just want to take a nap, Idicapriot!
[03:31] Gin
Hey, give me a break.
[03:34] Gin
I'm sick of watching kids with
[03:36] ---
bodies that are as flat as Ken Watanabe.
[03:38] Gin
I'm here to see girls with some jugs.
[03:43] Madao
It's summer vacation, so it's mostly kids...
[03:46] Madao
Whoa, momma. Jackpot!
[03:49] Gin
Whoo! You're right! She's got jugs!
[03:51] Gin
Giant jugs!
[03:54] Gin
Nope...
[03:55] Gin
It's just a drunk terminator.
[03:58] Seita
Oh! Gin-san!
[04:00] Seita
Long time no see!
[04:01] Madao
Huh? What?
[04:01] Madao
You know this hot babe?
[04:04] Tsukuyo
What a coincidence.
[04:05] Tsukuyo
How have you been?
[04:07] Madao
Oh, he was doing fine a moment ago,
[04:09] Madao
but he just died.
[04:11] Gin
Why are you guys here?
[04:14] Tsukuyo
Hinowa asked me to teach Seita how to swim.
[04:18] Tsukuyo
Anyway, I didn't know what to expect from a pool,
[04:22] Tsukuyo
but it seems to be just like Yoshiwara.
[04:23] Tsukuyo
Men and women enjoying themselves
[04:25] ---
without any clothes on.
[04:26] Madao
No, you're wrong!
[04:27] Madao
That's not what this place is for!
[04:29] Seita
Tsukuyo-nee!
[04:30] Seita
I wanna go down the slide!
[04:32] Tsukuyo
Wait. First, you learn how to swim.
[04:35] Madao
That's right.
[04:36] Madao
The slide is too dangerous for someone who can't swim,
[04:37] ---
so start with the kiddie pool...
[04:39] Tsukuyo
First, you pour this over your body.
[04:40] Madao
That would be for an adult pool!
[04:42] Tsukuyo
Next, you sit down on this stool and spread your legs.
[04:45] Madao
Hey!
[04:46] Madao
What the hell are you teaching him?!
[04:49] Madao
This isn't a Yoshiwara pool!
[04:50] Tsukuyo
Let's go then.
[04:51] Madao
Wait!
[04:56] Madao
We're going too fast because of the lotion!
[04:58] Madao
Run away, everyone!
[05:11] Seita
That was awesome, Tsukuyo-nee!
[05:12] Seita
Again! Again!
[05:14] Tsukuyo
One more time and that's it.
[05:16] Madao
W-Wait...
[05:19] C
Look! There's a body floating on the water!
[05:21] Madao
Shit! Did someone get hit?!
[05:24] Madao
There's been an accident on my watch!
[05:30] Zura
Elizabeth! The watermelon's nice and cold now!
[05:33] Zura
Let's split it open...
[05:39] Madao
We're losing customers because of those idiots.
[05:43] Madao
We have to keep an eye on the kids,
[05:45] ---
and any adults who might teach the kids strange games.
[05:47] Gin
Good, I have an excuse to look around for girls with jugs.
[05:51] Madao
The most dangerous adult is standing right next to me, I think.
[05:54] Madao
What?!
[05:55] Madao
An adult in the kiddie pool teaching a kid how to swim!
[05:57] Madao
Adults aren't allowed in there!
[05:59] Gin
What?! She's got big jugs?!
[06:01] Madao
No, I'd call those tasteful cups.
[06:03] Gin
She's wearing a cup?
[06:05] Gin
Oh, that's what you meant.
[06:07] Madao
Hey, wait a moment!
[06:08] Madao
The kid is...
[06:10] Madao
Is she really a kid?
[06:11] Madao
She's pretty big.
[06:13] Madao
I think she's taller than the beanpole with cups.
[06:15] Gin
Kids these days get plenty to eat,
[06:17] ---
so they grow vertically.
[06:19] Gin
Look, it's Robert De Flato.
[06:21] Madao
Isn't that a man?
[06:23] Madao
That's the body of a boy.
[06:26] Gin
Huh?
[06:27] Gin
It suddenly got dark.
[06:28] Madao
Same here.
[06:30] Otae
Who were you calling Robert De Flato?
[06:33] Gin
M-My mistake...
[06:35] Madao
You must be Sylvester Stallone.
[06:36] ---
Can I have an autograph?
[06:39] Otae
Are you blind?!
[06:50] Gin
I-I see...
[06:51] Gin
Tasteful cups on a beanpole...
[06:59] Kyu
This is why I didn't want to come!
[07:01] Kyu
I hate swimsuits! I hate the pool!
[07:02] Otae
Kyu-chan!
[07:04] Otae
The hell are you bastards doing?!
[07:06] Otae
Do you want me to strangle you?!
[07:08] Gin
You've got it wrong!
[07:09] Gin
We were doing our job as lifeguards!
[07:11] Otae
Zip it!
[07:13] Otae
Your noses are bleeding, you pervs!
[07:15] Gin
Our noses?!
[07:16] Gin
We're bleeding everywhere, thanks to you two!
[07:18] Gin
Anyway, this is the kiddie pool!
[07:20] Gin
Adults aren't allowed in here!
[07:22] Otae
Don't blame us!
[07:23] Otae
Kyu-chan can't swim, so she was practicing here!
[07:26] Otae
Sorry, Kyu-chan.
[07:28] Otae
It's my fault for forcing you to come here...
[07:35] Gin
Kyu-chan looks pretty happy!
[07:37] Gin
She's taking full advantage of the situation!
[07:39] Otae
Enough is enough!
[07:41] Otae
We're turning you in to the police!
[07:43] Otae
That's the quickest solution!
[07:44] Gin
This is all a misunderstanding!
[07:46] Kondo
Otae-san!
[07:47] Kondo
Allow me to handle this!
[07:49] Kondo
I have proof of their crime on tape!
[07:51] Kondo
I'll arrest them on the spot!
[07:53] Otae
Arrest yourself!
[07:55] Tojo
Lady!
[07:56] Tojo
I have filmed the evildoings of that cop!
[07:59] Tojo
The stalker is finished!
[08:00] Tojo
Our plan is a success!
[08:02] Kyu
I was never part of any plan!
[08:04] Sa
I did it, Gin-san!
[08:06] Sa
I finally got a shot of your willy peeking out!
[08:08] Gin
You have nothing to do with what's going on here!
[08:11] A
Blood! Blood's coming from the other pool!
[08:14] Madao
The customers are running away again!
[08:16] Madao
Wait!
[08:17] C
Hey! There's also someone bleeding over there!
[08:20] Madao
Hey! Hold on!
[08:22] Madao
I don't believe this!
[08:23] Madao
Somebody's died on my watch!
[08:27] Katsura
Got it!
[08:31] Katsura
Elizabeth, start the fire!
[08:32] Katsura
We'll feast like kings tonight!
[08:37] Shin
That's such a blast!
[08:38] Seita
I know!
[08:39] Seita
Tsukuyo-nee! Again! Just one more time!
[08:46] Madao
Only the idiots are left now.
[08:50] Madao
This is the busiest time of the year.
[08:53] Gin
Look at it this way, Hasegawa-san.
[08:55] Gin
An accident was bound to happen
[08:57] ---
with these idiots around.
[08:59] Gin
You should be glad that those kids are gone.
[09:02] Gin
Fortunately, these guys can take a beating,
[09:04] ---
so we can just leave them alone.
[09:06] Gin
Let's get some rest today.
[09:11] Madao
I see. You're right.
[09:15] Madao
If Jump can go on summer vacation, why can't we?!
[09:19] Gin
That's right!
[09:20] Gin
The only people who watch this show
[09:21] Gin
are the ones who don't feel like watching the news!
[09:23] Gin
Nobody will notice if we take a week off!
[09:25] Madao
Damn!
[09:26] Madao
You've got me all fired up now!
[09:29] Madao
Can I take off my clothes?!
[09:30] Madao
Can I do the butterfly butt naked?!
[09:32] Gin
Can I make a pool of strawberry milk?!
[09:34] Gin
Can I drown in a pool of strawberry milk?!
[09:35] Madao
Doesn't matter! Doesn't matter!
[09:37] Madao
Cause today, this place...
[09:39] Both
...is our paradise!
[09:49] Matsu
Hey.
[09:51] Matsu
Didn't you hear me talking to you, kiddo?
[09:55] Matsu
Let me borrow some swimming trunks.
[09:58] Gin
Th-That's...
[10:01] Matsu
Man, my buddy suddenly got the urge to swim.
[10:05] Matsu
A cabaret club would be better, damn it.
[10:09] Matsu
So, we don't have our swimsuits since
[10:11] ---
this came out of nowhere.
[10:13] Matsu
A pool like this should have plenty to rent.
[10:16] Matsu
If not, you've got three seconds to take off your trunks!
[10:20] Matsu
One!
[10:21] Shogun
Katakuriko, no violence.
[10:24] Shogun
There's no need to worry.
[10:26] Gin
Th-That's...
[10:28] Gin
Don't tell me that's...!
[10:34] Shogun
Shoguns have traditionally gone swimming in tighty whities.
[10:39] Both
The... The...
[10:41] Both
Shogun?!
SIGN What Happens Twice Can Happen Thrice
SIGN Greater Edo Pool
[10:48] Matsu
Come on, are you sure?
[10:51] Matsu
Everyone will be able to see through
[10:52] ---
those tighty whities once they're wet.
[10:54] Matsu
We'll have an Abarenbo Shogun
[10:55] ---
on the loose before it's Saturday night.
[10:57] Shogun
It cannot be avoided.
[10:59] Shogun
Shoguns have traditionally been lonely down there.
[11:02] Both
I-Is that really the problem here?
[11:05] Shogun
I've always been interested in swimming in a pool.
[11:07] Shogun
This is an excellent opportunity for me to experience
[11:10] ---
the life of a common citizen.
[11:13] Matsu
Man, you've got weird interests.
[11:16] Matsu
I'll be waiting at the usual cabaret club.
[11:20] Matsu
Hey, boys.
[11:21] Matsu
Teach him how to have fun at the pool.
[11:23] Matsu
Just so you know, we snuck out.
[11:26] Matsu
Don't let anyone find out that he's the shogun.
[11:29] Matsu
Oh, if anything happens to him,
[11:31] ---
our heads will be rolling around the ground.
[11:33] Matsu
Keep that in mind.
[11:35] Both
W-Wait a moment!
[11:38] Shogun
Call me Sho-chan.
[11:39] Shogun
Let's enjoy ourselves.
[11:41] Gin
I-I was all ready to enjoy having the pool to myself!
[11:45] Gin
Why did the shogun have to show up now?!
[11:47] Gin
Why does the shogun always show up at the worst possible time?!
SIGN Disinfection
[11:49] Gin
Why is he only washing himself down there?!
[11:52] Gin
This isn't funny.
[11:54] Gin
We aren't dealing with a normal pool here!
[11:57] Gin
The idiots of Edo are all
[11:58] ---
on vacation here at the same time...
[12:01] Gin
This is the Bermuda Triangle of Idiots!
[12:04] Shogun
They seem to be enjoying themselves.
[12:06] Shogun
I would like to join them.
[12:09] Gin
Sending the shogun out there
[12:12] Gin
would be like throwing a
[12:14] ---
naked MatsuKen with maracas to the sharks!
[12:17] Madao
Wh-What do we do, Gin-san?!
[12:19] Gin
It's too late to worry about it now.
[12:22] Gin
We'll have to keep those idiots in line,
[12:24] Gin
while entertaining the shogun until he leaves!
[12:27] Gin
Give the shogun a cap and goggles
[12:30] ---
so they don't recognize him!
[12:32] Gin
Uh, excuse me, everyone?
[12:35] Kagura
What's up?
[12:36] Kagura
Do you want to join us?
[12:38] Gin
Uh, well...
[12:40] Gin
There's this Sho-chan person...
[12:43] Gin
He wants to join in the fun.
[12:46] Otae
We don't mind at all.
[12:49] Kondo
Alrighty then. Let's welcome him aboard, Otae-san.
[12:52] Sa
I think it's cute.
[12:53] Sa
Some kids don't know how to make friends.
[12:56] Tojo
Come on down, Sho-chan!
[12:58] Tojo
I already consider you a friend!
[13:00] Tojo
But you aren't allowed to talk to the Lady!
[13:02] Gin
Yeah, you people shouldn't be talking.
[13:04] Tsukuyo
It's fine with us,
[13:07] Tsukuyo
but isn't he in his underwear instead of a swimsuit?
[13:10] Kyu
Good point.
[13:11] Kyu
Isn't that against the rules?
[13:13] Kyu
He's making me uncomfortable.
[13:15] Sa
There isn't much of a difference
[13:16] ---
between underwear and a swimsuit.
[13:18] Sa
10th and 14th shouldn't be so stingy!
[13:20] Shin
Are you people ever going to get over that?
[13:22] Kagura
They're different!
[13:23] Kagura
Underwear is dirty because you wear it for a long time!
[13:26] Gin
No, it's okay.
[13:28] Gin
His underwear is clean
[13:29] Gin
since he comes from a pretty high-class background.
[13:30] Otae
I can see something on his underwear.
[13:32] Gin
Huh? What?
[13:33] Gin
Stop!
[13:33] Gin
He'll hear you, so stop!
[13:34] Kondo
She's right!
[13:35] Kondo
The tip is a little moist.
[13:37] Gin
I said to stop!
[13:38] Gin
That's just the disinfectant!
[13:40] Otae
Are you sure about that?
[13:42] Otae
We should check the other side.
[13:44] Otae
Excuse me!
[13:46] Otae
Could you turn around?
[13:47] Gin
There isn't any poop on his underwear!
[13:50] Madao
Ah! Wait!
[13:53] Gin
You idiots!
[13:54] Gin
What do we do now?!
[13:55] Otae
Since he left, he must have had poop on his underwear.
[13:57] Otae
Close call...
[13:58] Sa
How frightening...
[14:01] Tsukuyo
Wait a moment.
[14:02] Tsukuyo
He's back.
[14:04] Seita
Oh, he's wearing swim trunks.
[14:05] Tojo
Well, so he brought a swimsuit.
[14:08] Shin
Huh?
[14:09] Shin
Did he just trade with Hasegawa-san?
[14:12] Gin
Who cares?! He's wearing a swimsuit now!
[14:14] Kagura
But there's a 60% chance that
[14:16] ---
Madao's trunks are dirtier than a pair of underwear.
[14:19] Gin
What's that supposed to mean?!
[14:20] Otae
Kagura-chan, you've got it wrong.
[14:23] Gin
She's out of control, right?!
[14:24] Otae
There's a 100% chance that Hasegawa-san's are dirtier.
[14:26] Gin
How cruel can you get?!
[14:28] Otae
Besides, there's something on Hasegawa-san's trunks.
[14:32] Kondo
She's right!
[14:32] Kondo
The tip is a little moist!
[14:34] Gin
Hey! Why do you keep getting your pants wet, Sho-chan?!
[14:36] Tojo
What's wrong with that man?!
[14:37] Tojo
How many times will he release his load before he's satisfied?!
[14:40] Gin
Don't make it sound dirty!
[14:42] Sa
Stay out!
[14:43] Sa
I don't want to become pregnant with a child that isn't Gin-san's!
[14:45] Gin
Stop!
[14:46] Gin
He's a naive child, so stop!
[14:51] Madao
Uh... Let's introduce him again.
[14:54] Gin
This is Sho-chan...
[14:55] Gin
Everyone be nice now.
[14:58] Otae
Um...
[15:00] Otae
Don't let him off the boat.
[15:02] Kagura
Make sure he doesn't touch the water.
[15:06] Madao
A-Are you sure about this?
[15:08] Madao
The shogun wants to be friends,
[15:09] ---
but they won't even let him in the water.
[15:12] Madao
The shogun hasn't even touched the water,
[15:15] ---
and his goggles are soaked!
[15:17] Madao
This is bad! He's really mad!
[15:19] ---
We're dead! They'll cut off our heads!
[15:21] Gin
Calm down.
[15:22] Gin
We just have to give him a summer experience that he'll never forget.
[15:25] Gin
What does summer make you think of?
[15:26] Gin
What does the pool make you think of?
[15:27] Gin
What do swimsuits make you think of?
[15:29] Madao
You can't mean...!
[15:31] Gin
Okay, we have enough people now, so let's get started!
[15:35] Gin
The Exciting Underwater Cavalry Battle for Samurai!
[15:42] Madao
N-Nipslips!
[15:45] Madao
Women grabbing at each other in the water!
[15:48] Madao
With heaving bosoms!
[15:51] Madao
Gin-san, this will work!
[15:53] Madao
We can turn the shogun's tears of sorrow into tears of joy!
[15:58] Gin
Okay, break up into pairs.
[16:02] Gin
One person will be the rider on the boat!
[16:04] Gin
The other will be the horse who pulls the boat!
[16:05] Gin
If the rider falls off the boat
[16:07] ---
or loses his headband, you lose!
[16:10] Gin
Well, things other than the headband may also be pulled off
[16:13] ---
in the process...
[16:16] Seita
Let's play! Let's play! Let's play!
[16:17] Kondo
Boat! Bring me a boat!
[16:19] Madao
They caught on.
[16:21] Madao
You're good, Gin-san.
[16:22] Madao
You've convinced the guys
[16:23] ---
to help us without realizing what's going on!
[16:27] Gin
Why would...?
[16:29] Gin
Why are the guys on the boats?!
[16:31] Gin
We can already see your nipples!
[16:34] Gin
These guys are so desperate to see skin
[16:36] Gin
that they haven't realized how it's impossible with this set up!
[16:40] Sa
I can be Gin-san's horse!
[16:42] Sa
Gin-san's gonna ride me!
[16:44] Gin
I have no idea what she's even trying to do!
[16:48] Gin
Hey, enough of this crap!
[16:50] Gin
Hasegawa-san's about to turn into a castaway!
[16:55] Gin
Use your head before you pair up.
[16:56] Gin
The stronger partner should be the horse!
[16:59] Kagura
That's what we did.
[17:00] Gin
She's right!
[17:01] Gin
The girls are all stronger here!
[17:03] Otae
You were probably planning something dirty.
[17:06] Otae
I could see right through you.
[17:07] Gin
Nobody wants to see your crater of a chest!
[17:10] Gin
We're not on the moon!
[17:11] Kondo
Otae-san! I'm prepared to explore every crater on you...
[17:15] Kondo
...to find the nipple!
[17:16] Otae
You want me to strangle you?!
[17:18] Tsukuyo
Don't play dumb.
[17:20] Tsukuyo
It's written all over your faces.
[17:21] Seita
Where?!
[17:22] Seita
We weren't going to do anything dirty!
[17:25] Seita
Right, Gin-san?!
[17:26] Gin
Yeah.
[17:27] Gin
Nobody was thinking about anything dirty.
[17:31] Gin
The Shogun was?!
[17:33] Gin
Uh, excuse me, Sho-chan?
[17:35] Gin
You're getting carried away with the fantasizing...
[17:37] Gin
You're giving away the plan...
[17:40] Shogun
Shoguns have traditionally been
[17:41] ---
too excited to go to sleep the night before a field trip.
[17:44] Gin
I don't care!
[17:45] Gin
Could you go to sleep right now?!
[17:48] Gin
Okay! We'll use rock, paper, scissors!
[17:50] Gin
The winner decides if he wants to be the rider or the horse!
[17:53] Gin
And the loser has to dive from the highest spot!
[17:56] Tsukuyo
How is that related to the cavalry battle?
[17:58] Gin
Who cares?! It's more fun when there's a penalty!
[18:01] Gin
Heh, a dive from that height is
[18:03] ---
guaranteed to shift a girl's swimsuit.
[18:05] Gin
If we don't get a nipslip, we'll at least get to see some camel toe!
[18:07] All
Rock, paper, scissors!
[18:08] Gin
You girls better get ready to show some skin!
[18:17] Gin
It's the Shogun?!
[18:19] Gin
Hey, Sho-chan.
[18:21] Gin
Don't you realize who I'm doing this for?!
[18:23] Shogun
Shoguns have traditionally worn tighty whities,
[18:25] ---
but the thong is not bad at all.
[18:27] Gin
Why are you picking up weird urges?!
[18:29] Tsukuyo
Hey, how is this fun?
[18:31] Tsukuyo
We're looking at an old man with a wedgie.
[18:34] Gin
Shut up!
[18:34] Gin
You'll never see a more noble wedgie in your lifetime!
[18:37] Otae
You were probably planning something dirty again.
[18:41] Otae
I can see right through you.
[18:42] Gin
Nobody wants to see your camel toe!
[18:44] Gin
I'm not Lawrence of Arabia!
[18:46] Kondo
Otae-san! I have no interest in camel toe!
[18:48] Otae
You don't?!
[18:49] Kyu
Don't play dumb.
[18:50] Kyu
The jig is up.
[18:51] Tojo
I would never dare!
[18:53] Tojo
We had pure intentions!
[18:55] Tojo
Isn't that right, Gintoki-dono?
[18:56] Kyu
How do you explain that then?
SIGN SS Adventurer
[18:58] ---
Departure!
[18:59] Gin
The SS Adventurer?!
SIGN SS Adventurer
[19:01] Kyu
You were going to use him to trick us
[19:03] ---
into embarking on a dangerous adventure.
[19:06] Gin
Why would this image
[19:07] ---
make you want to go on an adventure?!
[19:09] Gin
He's clearly a victim!
[19:11] Kyu
That hole was asking for a flag to be planted.
[19:14] Kyu
What a naughty trap...
[19:15] Gin
You people are the naughty ones when
[19:16] ---
you're planting flags down there!
[19:18] Gin
Sho-chan!
[19:19] Shogun
SS Adventurers have traditionally
[19:20] ---
been boats for carrying adventurers...
[19:23] Gin
Get a hold of yourself!
[19:24] Gin
You're not the SS Adventurer!
[19:25] Gin
You're the almighty shogun!
[19:27] Kagura
If you're so desperate for nipslips and camel toe,
[19:29] ---
you should change the rules.
[19:31] Gin
Huh?
[19:33] Kagura
Cut straight to the chase.
[19:34] Kagura
If your naughty parts are exposed, you lose.
[19:36] Kagura
How's that?
[19:37] Otae
I like it.
[19:38] Kyubei
A brilliant idea.
[19:39] Tsukuyo
All the skin you could ever want.
[19:40] Tsukuyo
Isn't that nice?
[19:41] Gin
Hold it right there!
[19:42] Gin
It's painfully obvious that this is going to end badly!
[19:46] Girls
Okay, let's start!
[19:48] Gin
Hey! Who said you could start?!
[19:50] Gin
This isn't funny!
[19:52] Gin
I can't let the shogun embarrass himself again!
[19:55] Tojo
You won't escape!
[19:57] Tojo
Lady! Are you watching my heroics?!
[20:00] Gin
Hey! Stop screwing around!
[20:02] Gin
You're crushing Sho-chan's crotch!
[20:04] Gin
This is bad!
[20:05] Gin
It's gonna snap! It's gonna snap!
[20:06] Gin
Pull up! Pull up your underwear, Sho-chan!
[20:10] Gin
Too much!
[20:12] Gin
Didn't he lose already?!
[20:13] Gin
If not, he's certainly lost the little dignity he had left!
[20:18] Gin
Hey! Enough already! Stop it!
[20:21] Seita
Let go, Shin-nii!
[20:23] Seita
His underwear is mine!
[20:24] Gin
What are these people doing?!
[20:25] Shin
I won't let anyone, not even a friend, take this from me!
[20:27] Gin
Why are you fighting to the death over a guy's underwear?!
[20:30] Kondo
I won't lose!
[20:31] Kondo
This is for Otae-san...
[20:33] All
For the girls and their dreams of seeing male skin!
[20:36] Gin
They don't give a damn about you!
[20:38] Gin
They're busy playing beach volleyball!
[20:40] Gin
Hell, he's not wearing that underwear anymore!
[20:43] Gin
It's completely off!
[20:44] Gin
It's not even underwear anymore!
[20:45] Gin
Have some shame, okay?!
[20:48] Gin
He walked over to buy a can of coffee!
[20:51] Gin
He walked over with his underwear stretched
[20:52] ---
out so far that he's basically naked!
[20:54] Shin
I-Impossible!
[20:56] Kondo
We can't even make him budge!
[21:00] All
Who is this man?!
[21:18] Shogun
Shoguns have traditionally worn elastic tighty whities.
[21:32] Shogun
I appreciate your help.
[21:34] Shogun
The pool is a fun place.
[21:38] Shogun
Thank you for providing me with a wonderful summer experience.
[21:40] Shogun
May I come back next summer?
[21:46] Zura
This lotion is great!
[21:49] Zura
I feel like I can topple the Bakufu right now!
[21:51] Zura
Okay! One more time, Elizabeth!
SIGN Greater Edo Pool
[21:56] Gin
No more...
SIGN Next Episode The Pincers of a Crab Can Snip Through a Friendship
[23:30] Shin
Next time:
[23:32] Shin
The pincers of a crab can snip through a friendship!
E218 - The Claws of a Crab Can Snip Through a Friendship
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN The Claws of a Crab Can Snip Through a Friendship
[01:37] Shin
Whoa! Isn't this a crab, Gin-san?!
[01:40] Shin
What's the occasion?
[01:41] Gin
One of Gran's old friends
[01:42] ---
gave her so many that she's sick of eating them,
[01:45] Gin
so she's sharing the wealth.
[01:47] Shin
Seriously?!
[01:48] Shin
It's been forever since I've had crab!
[01:51] Shin
Uh...
[01:53] Shin
She only gave us one?
[01:55] Gin
Yeah, she asked me how many I wanted,
[01:57] ---
so I told her I wanted a boxful...
[02:00] Kagura
Damn hag!
[02:02] Kagura
Why is she giving us riddles like the Sphinx?!
[02:05] Kagura
This isn't Ikkyu-san!
[02:06] Kagura
I'm gonna "riddle me that!"
[02:10] Gin
Calm down, kids.
[02:11] Gin
Listen to me.
[02:12] Gin
Do you know why a crab has so many legs?
[02:15] Gin
So we can share them.
[02:18] Gin
Since the beginning of time, humans have
[02:21] ---
fought many foolish wars over crabs.
[02:23] Gin
Such as the Battle of Sekigahara
[02:24] ---
and the Battle of Okehazama.
[02:26] Shin
Uh, that's news to me.
[02:29] Gin
And so, the Holy Crab in Heaven...
[02:31] Shin
What's a Holy Crab?
[02:32] Shin
How did God turn into a crab?
[02:34] Gin
Gave crabs more legs to end
[02:36] ---
the tragic conflicts and allow us
[02:39] ---
to eat crab together.
[02:41] Gin
However, crabs could no longer
[02:43] ---
move forwards or backwards.
[02:46] Gin
Is it right to force the Holy Crab to live a sideways life?
[02:49] Gin
Is it right to force him to purely go
[02:51] ---
scissors without any missionary or doggy style?
[02:53] Shin
This conversation has gotten very weird.
[02:56] Gin
Let's do this peacefully.
[02:58] Gin
I'm sick of all the fighting over food,
[02:59] ---
like whenever we have a hot pot.
[03:01] Shin
That's true.
[03:02] Shin
Let's share this crab.
[03:05] Gin
If we include the claws, this thing has ten legs.
[03:07] Gin
There's plenty for everyone here.
[03:10] Shin
But how do we split ten legs between three people?
[03:12] Shin
One will be left over...
[03:15] Shin
Huh? What's going on?
[03:16] Kagura
A blackout?
SIGN Power outage at Odd Jobs
[03:18] Gin
What the hell?
[03:19] ---
We were getting to the good part.
[03:20] Shin
I'll go check the circuit breaker.
[03:24] Shin
Ow!
[03:26] Gin
Come on, staff.
[03:28] Gin
You're already out of steam after the Four Devas arc?
[03:30] Gin
Stop slackin' off!
[03:31] Shin
Wait, this was in the manga.
[03:34] Shin
The author was overwhelmed
[03:35] ---
with that one-shot collection business.
[03:37] Gin
What?
[03:38] ---
He wouldn't be doing one-shots
[03:39] ---
if he kept slackin' on his main series, stupid!
[03:40] Kagura
Yeah, stupid!
[03:42] Kagura
Super Legend, my ass!
[03:44] Kagura
A bunch of one-shots from big shots?
[03:45] Gin
One of those guys clearly doesn't fit!
[03:48] Gin
There's a gorilla in the mix!
[03:49] Kagura
And he was unabashed about it!
[03:51] Kagura
Don't get too cocky, dammit!
[03:53] Shin
What are you guys talking about?
[03:55] Shin
I just checked the circuit breaker and it's fine.
[03:58] Shin
Power's back.
[04:00] Shin
Okay, let's get started then...
[04:03] Shin
Uh, excuse me...
[04:05] Shin
The Holy Crab was injured during the blackout.
[04:08] Gin
Maybe he bumped into the table?
[04:10] Shin
Yeah, a leg is missing.
[04:13] Kagura
It wasn't me!
[04:15] Kagura
I'm not evil enough to steal food while the power's out!
[04:18] Shin
It obviously wasn't me!
[04:19] Shin
So it was one of you two!
[04:20] Kagura
What was that?!
[04:22] Kagura
You probably swiped the leg
[04:23] Kagura
when you were pretending to go check the circuit breaker!
[04:25] Kagura
You said ow!
[04:26] Kagura
You probably cut yourself on the crab!
[04:27] Shin
I hit my head on the screen!
[04:29] Gin
Hey, cut it out!
[04:31] Gin
It's not possible to eat one
[04:32] ---
of those shelled monsters in the dark.
[04:35] Gin
Now, we have a number that divides perfectly into three.
[04:40] Gin
The Holy Crab must have been trying to stop us from fighting.
[04:45] Gin
Okay, enough bickering.
[04:47] Gin
Each of us gets three legs...
[04:49] Shin
You only get two!
[04:51] Kagura
Your mouth is bleeding because you didn't remove the shell!
[04:54] Shin
How desperate were you?!
[04:56] Gin
What are you guys talking about?
[04:58] Gin
When we were trashing that Legends mess during the blackout,
[05:01] ---
a gorilla appeared and smacked me hard.
[05:04] Shin
Who would believe that story?!
[05:05] Gin
The missing crab leg was also him, I'm guessing.
[05:08] Gin
It's pretty bad.
[05:09] Gin
He must be completely stressed out.
[05:11] All
Ah!
[05:12] Shin
Damn, another blackout.
SIGN Power outage at Odd Jobs
[05:14] Shin
Gin-san, don't move an inch.
[05:15] Shin
One more time and you're gonna get it.
[05:17] Gin
Seriously, it wasn't me.
[05:18] Gin
Cross my heart and hope to die.
[05:19] Gin
Careful, guys.
[05:20] Gin
We don't know when the gorilla will come back.
[05:23] Shin
Kagura-chan?!
[05:24] Kagura
Stop!
[05:26] Gin
Hey! What's wrong, Kagura?!
[05:30] Shin
Ka-Kagura-chan!
[05:31] Kagura
My eye... My eye!
[05:33] Gin
Hold on, Kagura!
[05:35] Gin
It's okay.
[05:36] Gin
You just have a cut on your eyelid.
[05:38] Kagura
A gorilla...
[05:40] ---
A weird gorilla showed up and took a crab leg...
[05:43] Kagura
I tried to stop it... But...
[05:45] Gin
Look, Shinpachi!
[05:47] Gin
It took another crab leg!
[05:50] Gin
This is all Legend Gorilla's fault!
[05:52] Shin
No way!
[05:54] Shin
Huh?
[05:55] Shin
There's blood on the claw.
[05:58] Shin
Didn't you just cut your eye
[05:59] ---
on the claw when you tried
[06:01] ---
to eat a crab leg in the dark?
[06:02] Kagura
No!
[06:04] Kagura
The gorilla!
[06:05] Kagura
The gorilla grabbed the crab and stabbed me with it!
[06:09] Shin
Uh, you're talking with your mouth full.
[06:11] Kagura
No!
[06:12] Kagura
I fought back and bit off the gorilla's crotch!
[06:16] Gin
Damn gorilla...
[06:17] ---
That should teach you a lesson.
[06:19] Shin
Enough of this crap.
[06:21] Shin
Stop blaming the gorilla for everything!
[06:23] Shin
It's so obvious that you ate those crab legs!
[06:26] Gin
No, we didn't.
[06:27] Kagura
It was the gorilla. The gorilla ate them.
[06:31] Shin
You refuse to own up, huh...
[06:33] Shin
Fine, have it your way.
[06:38] Shin
We'll use a candle to prevent any further cheating
[06:40] ---
if the power goes out.
[06:41] Gin
Oh, good idea.
[06:42] Gin
Should have done this earlier.
[06:45] Gin
Not that I ever cheated.
[06:47] Kagura
I didn't cheat,
[06:48] ---
but this should keep that gorilla away.
[06:50] Gin
Since gorillas are afraid of fire.
[06:52] Shin
Then I'll divide up the legs so we can eat.
[06:55] Gin
Sure, go ahead.
[06:57] Gin
Give me a claw.
[06:58] Gin
I like the tougher meat.
[07:00] Shin
Okay, that should put an end to their thievery.
[07:04] Shin
If the power goes out, we'll still have light from the candle.
[07:06] Shin
Most importantly, the crab is in my hands.
[07:10] Kagura
Oh, the power went out again.
[07:12] Kagura
Something's wrong today.
[07:14] Gin
What's going on?
[07:16] Gin
I'll go check the circuit breaker.
[07:18] Kagura
I'll come with you.
[07:20] Gin
I'm gonna borrow a candle.
[07:25] Shin
Huh? What are they doing?
[07:27] Shin
They're leaving me alone with the crab?
[07:30] Shin
The crab is undefended!
[07:32] Shin
Is this a trap?!
[07:33] Shin
Or are they letting me have my way with it?
[07:35] Shin
Yes, this is the perfect chance!
[07:37] Shin
I should go for it!
[07:38] Shin
They already swiped two legs!
[07:41] Shin
I don't have time to waste!
[07:45] Shin
Huh?
[07:46] Shin
There aren't any legs left...
[07:48] Gin
Huh? This candle won't light.
[07:50] Gin
This one won't either.
[07:51] Gin
Nor this one.
[07:52] Kagura
Hey, Gin-chan.
[07:53] Kagura
These aren't candles...
[07:57] Kagura
They're crab legs.
[07:58] Shin
What?!
[07:59] Gin
Oh, you're right.
[08:01] Shin
That was when I realized how foolish I was.
[08:05] Shin
When I chose to focus on how to divide the legs among three people...
[08:08] Shin
How to squirrel the extra leg away from them...
[08:11] Shin
I was thinking too small.
[08:13] Shin
I lost before I even sat down at the table.
[08:17] Shin
They never had any intention of sharing a single crab leg.
[08:21] Shin
My tiny claw could never pierce
[08:24] ---
through their shamelessly thick shells.
[08:29] Shin
I will never stand a chance
[08:31] ---
until I bring out my own giant claws
[08:33] Shin
for plundering the entire world of every last crab!
[08:37] Gin
What's up with all the outages?
[08:41] Kagura
Let's try to get this crab party started again.
[08:44] Shin
No...
[08:45] Shin
Only the body and claws are left.
[08:48] Gin
What's done is done.
[08:50] Gin
I wasn't expecting people
[08:51] ---
to mistake crab legs for candles.
[08:53] Shin
In what world would you find people who
[08:55] ---
mistake crab legs for candles?
[08:56] Kagura
It's Shinpachi's fault for leaving the crab legs next to the candles.
[09:00] Shin
And you're trying to shift the blame to me
[09:01] ---
instead of apologizing!
[09:03] Gin
Well, it was an honest mistake.
[09:05] Gin
Let's forgive him.
[09:06] Kagura
You're so mature, Gin-chan!
[09:08] Kagura
Hey, Shinpachi.
[09:09] Kagura
Divide the crab into three equal portions.
[09:12] Shin
How can you people have the gall to talk about equal?!
[09:17] Shin
I want to hit them!
[09:19] Shin
Punch them in the face!
[09:20] Shin
But if I lose my cool now, they'll win!
[09:24] Shin
They've been trying to goad me into snapping
[09:26] ---
with their heavy-handed behavior.
[09:29] Shin
Forget that shit!
[09:31] Shin
You guys already ate eight crab legs!
[09:32] Shin
Three equal portions, my foot!
[09:34] Shin
The rest is mine!
[09:36] Shin
That's what they want me to say.
[09:37] Shin
But they'll have a response prepared.
[09:41] Gin
Don't be stupid.
[09:42] Gin
Two of the legs were eaten by that gorilla.
[09:45] Gin
We each ate three of the remaining six.
[09:47] Gin
By mistake, I mean...
[09:49] Gin
Thanks to someone else's mistake...
[09:50] Gin
Well, you can have the two claws with the tougher meat.
[09:54] Gin
But we're sharing the body.
[09:57] Shin
They'll use some kind of absurd logic to
[09:59] ---
declare that two claws are equal to four legs.
[10:02] Shin
That's why he said that line.
[10:06] Gin
Give me a claw.
[10:08] Gin
I like the tougher meat.
[10:10] Shin
He was trying to inflate the value of the claws
[10:13] Shin
as part of his strategy to fool me.
[10:16] Shin
But it's all a lie!
[10:17] Shin
The claw may look like it has more than a leg,
[10:21] Shin
but in reality, it's the same amount of meat!
[10:23] Shin
That guy was feigning interest in
[10:26] ---
the claws so he could be rid of them!
[10:37] Shin
He'll use the claws to distract
[10:39] ---
me while he aims straight for the body!
[10:41] Shin
I won't let that happen!
[10:42] Shin
I'm going to fight back!
[10:44] Shin
Fine then.
[10:46] Shin
I'll let you guys have the claws.
[10:50] Shin
Which means I'm stuck with the body.
[10:53] Gin
C-Could it be...
[10:55] Gin
He's using my statement about the claws
[10:57] ---
against me, to lock me down?!
[11:01] Gin
Despite all my taunting,
[11:02] ---
he's stayed calm and seen right through my plan,
[11:05] Gin
completely ignoring the claws
[11:06] ---
and going straight for the body!
[11:10] Gin
And he's pretending that he's doing us a favor
[11:11] Gin
by taking the body so he can win over the kid.
[11:14] Gin
A technique practiced by dads around the world!
[11:18] Kagura
I don't like the body cause it's all squishy and gross.
[11:22] Shin
Same here.
[11:23] Shin
But if you like crab legs so much, I'll take the body.
[11:26] Gin
Yes, the body of a crab is disgusting.
[11:29] Gin
Women and children tend to avoid it.
[11:31] Gin
But the dad knows
[11:34] ---
that the body contains Princess Crab-Paste!
[11:39] Gin
Shi-Shinpachi...
[11:41] Gin
You already know the secret of
[11:43] ---
Princess Crab-Paste at such a young age?!
[11:46] Gin
Indeed, Princess Crab-Paste is the
[11:48] ---
ugliest woman of the Sengoku period.
[11:50] Gin
Yet you know that her repulsive face hides...
[11:52] Gin
...the finest lay of the Sengoku period!
[11:58] Shin
Gin-san, you may have won some small skirmishes,
[12:02] Shin
but you haven't won the war.
[12:04] Shin
You must take the body...
[12:06] Shin
Take Princess Crab-Paste...
[12:08] Shin
if you wish to become a Crabqueror!
[12:11] Shin
I will be the one who conquers the world!
[12:17] Shin
Princess Crab-Paste!
[12:19] Shin
Are you all right?
[12:21] Shin
Don't worry! Everything will be okay!
[12:24] Shin
The Shimura army will keep you safe!
[12:27] Shin
The Sakata army approaches.
[12:29] Shin
It is too dangerous here!
[12:30] Shin
We must escape at once!
[12:34] Shin
Th-That's...
[12:36] Shin
That's impossible...
[12:38] Shin
Pr-Princess Crab-Paste...
[12:40] Gin
Princess Crab-Paste?
[12:43] Gin
Who are you talking about?
[12:48] Shin
I-Impossible!
[12:50] Shin
It isn't just Princess Crab-Paste!
[12:52] Shin
The body is...
[12:54] Shin
...completely empty!
[12:55] Gin
Oh, sorry, Shinpachi.
[12:57] Gin
I took the meat from the body and cooked it with rice.
[13:00] Gin
Oh, I saved the crab paste.
[13:05] Shin
C-Cooked it with rice?!
[13:12] Gin
How unfortunate, General Shimura.
[13:14] Gin
This castle belongs to the Sakata army now!
[13:17] Gin
And Princess Crab-Paste has fallen into our hands!
[13:20] Gin
This castle no longer holds any strategic value!
[13:23] Shin
It can't be...
[13:25] Shin
General Sakata...
[13:27] Shin
You anticipated that I would anticipate your plan?!
[13:31] Gin
Absolutely not.
[13:32] Gin
But in war,
[13:35] ---
the key is to become a coward with multiple back-up plans.
[13:39] Shin
N-No...
[13:41] Shin
He knew all along...
[13:43] Shin
...that my focus was on the body.
[13:46] Shin
And to fool me, he restored the body after taking its contents,
[13:51] Shin
and pretended to be Princess Crab-Paste.
[13:53] Shin
Yes, while I was falling into his trap,
[13:56] Shin
he was taking possession of the ultimate sword, Crabclaw!
[14:01] Gin
Yeah. Sorry, Pachi-boy.
[14:03] Gin
We even took the claws.
[14:05] Gin
You ended up without a single bite of crab.
[14:08] Shin
I misjudged him!
[14:09] Gin
But it's not our fault.
[14:11] Gin
You're the one who let us have them.
[14:13] Shin
You have sunk your fangs into the crab shell,
[14:16] ---
Gintoki the Viper!
[14:18] Gin
Well, I'll help myself then.
[14:25] Gin
The meat!
[14:26] Gin
The meat of the Crabclaw is gone!
[14:30] Kagura
The meat is right here.
[14:33] Kagura
Ta-da!
[14:34] Gin
Da-Daigoro!
[14:38] Kagura
You're so weird, Gin-chan.
[14:40] Kagura
Why do you like the claws so much?
[14:42] Kagura
There's more meat in the leg below the claw.
[14:46] Kagura
Silly Gin-chan.
[14:47] Gin
I spent too much time talking about claws!
[14:50] Gin
Technically, the term claw only
[14:52] ---
refers to the pincer at the very end!
[14:54] Gin
Still, I never expected her to divide up the claws like this!
[14:59] Gin
I ignored you since I assumed you were just a child,
[15:02] Gin
but you took advantage of my battle with General Shimura
[15:05] Gin
to use my own words against me.
[15:07] Gin
Daigoro, you are no ordinary Daigoro!
[15:14] Gin
You were sent by Iga?!
[15:19] Kagura
You aren't the only one
[15:20] Kagura
who intends to take advantage
[15:21] ---
of the chaos and conquer this world.
[15:23] Kagura
A true tactician would lay low until
[15:26] ---
he's already conquered the world in secret!
[15:29] Kagura
Viper!
[15:30] Kagura
I grant you an eternal slumber inside that empty shell!
[15:37] Gin
Not yet...
[15:39] Gin
I can still conquer the world...
[15:44] Gin
I may have lost the claws,
[15:47] Gin
but I used the treasures of the castle to create a new paradise!
[15:54] Gin
Castle Crab-on-Rice belongs to me!
[15:56] Gin
And Princess Crab-Paste is in my hands!
[15:59] Gin
As long as I hold these, my ambition will never die!
[16:02] A
Lord Viper! Look over there!
[16:05] A
A castle is being constructed
[16:08] ---
next to ours at an alarming pace!
[16:11] Gin
Th-That's...?!
[16:13] Gin
Castle Crab-Juice!
[16:16] Gin
I-Impossible!
[16:17] Gin
This man has gathered his surviving forces
[16:20] ---
and begun to build a castle!
[16:22] Shin
Gin-san!
[16:23] Shin
There's more to a crab than its meat!
[16:25] Shin
Even the shell has its flavor!
[16:28] Gin
Curse you!
[16:29] Gin
You plan to pit leftover juices against my crab-on-rice
[16:32] ---
and reverse the situation?!
[16:37] Shin
This is your last chance to seek a peaceful resolution, Viper!
[16:40] Shin
Grant me the right to access Castle Crab-on-Rice
[16:42] Shin
and meet with Princess Crab-Paste!
[16:44] Gin
Preposterous!
[16:45] Gin
How dare you seek to bargain
[16:47] ---
on equal footing with me, the Crabqueror?!
[16:50] Shin
Who said anything about equal footing?!
[16:52] Shin
I, Shinpachi Shimura,
[16:53] ---
demand seventy percent of Castle Crab-on-Rice!
[16:57] Gin
S-Seventy percent?!
[16:58] Gin
You overestimate what you hold!
[17:01] Shin
You have dug your own grave, Viper!
[17:04] Shin
Crab on rice may sound delicious,
[17:08] Shin
but in reality, it barely tastes any different from plain rice!
[17:12] Shin
Yes, alone, crab on rice holds no power!
[17:16] Shin
Your castle serves as little more than decoration!
[17:19] Shin
Crab on rice requires flavorful vegetables
[17:21] ---
which have been cooked in crab juice!
[17:23] Shin
You can no longer survive
[17:25] ---
in the Sengoku period without me!
[17:27] Gin
Don't be ridiculous!
[17:29] Gin
You have underestimated the potency of my hand-salted rice!
[17:32] Gin
Fire!
[17:37] A
It's no use, Lord Viper!
[17:39] A
There isn't enough flavor!
[17:43] Shin
Fire!
[17:46] A
Such firepower!
[17:47] A
The crab juice is strong in him!
[17:49] Gin
Wh-What did you say?!
[17:51] Gin
This is like Gian vs. Nobita!
[17:54] Gin
We're a perfect match!
The ultimate combination!
[17:57] Gin
Best friends forever!
[17:59] Shin
It's over, Viper!
[18:01] Shin
Time to let me take over the world!
[18:04] Gin
Silence!
[18:05] Gin
I have my own Doraemon in Princess Crab-Paste!
[18:11] Shin
Wh-What?!
[18:13] Gin
This shaking...
[18:15] Kagura
It'll taste better this way.
[18:24] Gin
Tha-
[18:25] Shin
That's...
[18:27] Both
That's...!
[18:30] Both
The castle in the sky!
[18:32] Both
Crab-Congee-Laputa!
[18:35] Gin
I-Impossible!
[18:36] Gin
Castle Crab-on-Rice and Castle Crab-Juice
[18:38] ---
were taken over and combined into one?!
[18:42] Shin
She's stolen our cooking to create the ultimate recipe
[18:45] Shin
and lay claim to the mantle of conqueror!
[18:48] Both
You're...!
[18:50] Gin
You're no ordinary assassin of Iga!
[18:53] Kagura
Exactly.
[18:55] Kagura
I'm neither Daigoro nor an assassin of Iga.
[18:59] Kagura
My true name is Kagura Crab Congee Laputa.
[19:03] Kagura
A descendant of the royal family
[19:05] Kagura
which ruled over the ancient city of Crab-Congee-Laputa.
[19:08] Kagura
I have been waiting for this moment,
[19:10] Kagura
when you would unlock the path to Crab-Congee-Laputa,
[19:14] Kagura
for I never could have
[19:16] ---
cooked crab on rice or vegetables in crab juice on my own.
[19:19] Kagura
Excellent work.
[19:21] Kagura
I appreciate your efforts.
[19:23] Kagura
In return, I shall give you
[19:25] ---
a demonstration of the true power of crab!
[19:40] Shin
O-One egg can cause this much damage?!
[19:44] Gin
A little stirring and the smell has me drooling!
[19:47] Both
Th-This is the true power of crab!
[19:52] Paste
Please stop her...
[19:54] Shin
Pr-
[19:55] Shin
Princess Crab-Paste!
[19:57] Paste
Stop fighting over crab!
[20:00] Paste
Crabs were never meant to create conflict.
[20:03] Paste
Crabs are meant to bring everyone
[20:05] ---
together around the table for a pleasant meal.
[20:07] Paste
Wasn't that your original intention?
[20:13] Kagura
Magnificent!
[20:13] Paste
It's not too late!
[20:15] Kagura
The finest show on Earth!
[20:15] Paste
The three of you can share this meal together.
[20:18] Gin
It's too late.
[20:20] Gin
Our souls are enraged by the long battle.
[20:24] Shin
We can never bury this hatchet.
[20:26] Paste
It will be fine.
[20:27] Paste
I will help to mend fences.
[20:30] Paste
The savory flavor of crab paste is gentle as the ocean.
[20:34] Paste
I'm sure that it will soothe your souls
[20:36] ---
and restore your kind nature.
[20:39] Paste
Now, speak the words of unity and add me to the pot.
[20:50] Both
Balse appetit.
[21:02] Kagura
Forget it.
[21:03] Kagura
You can have the rest.
[21:12] Shin
Let's get this crab party restarted...
[21:14] Shin
No, let's get this crab party started.
[21:18] Gin
Sure, you have forty seconds to get ready.
[21:35] Shin
It tastes too fishy.
[21:37] Gin
Imitation crab is better.
[21:42] Paste
Yes, that's right.
SIGN Crab-Flavored Sausage
[21:47] Paste
Band together
[21:52] Paste
to eat cheap food!
SIGN Next Episode People Forget to Return Stuff All the Time Without Even Realizing It
[23:30] Kagura
Next time:
[23:31] Kagura
People forget to return stuff all the time without even realizing it!
E219 - People Forget to Return Stuff All the Time Without Even Realizing It
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:32] A
Oh! A clean hit!
[01:35] A
-That's it! Keep it up!
[01:35] Salary
-Stupid boss!
[01:36] Salary
Take that! Take that!
[01:41] Salary
Whew, I feel so much better.
[01:43] Salary
Thanks, big guy.
[01:45] Iwamatsu
It was nothing.
[01:46] Iwamatsu
If a few punches to the
face can help you forget
[01:49] ---
your troubles, come on down
[01:51] Iwamatsu
to see Iwamatsu, the Punching Bag.
[01:55] Salary
Did you see that?
[01:56] Salary
I got a wicked jab, right?
[01:57] Iwamatsu
Come again!
[02:00] Iwamatsu
Weak-ass punches.
[02:02] Iwamatsu
You can't hurt me with those.
[02:06] Iwamatsu
The Kabuki district, a town of outlaws.
[02:08] Iwamatsu
My first impression was correct.
[02:10] Iwamatsu
There's a sucker around every corner.
[02:12] Iwamatsu
These wannabe punks and
their girly punches
[02:16] Iwamatsu
can't hurt me, the former
pro boxer, Iwamatsu.
[02:20] Iwamatsu
I'm gonna make a killing today.
[02:22] Iwamatsu
Hey! Come on down!
[02:25] Iwamatsu
You're allowed to hit me as many
times as you want for one minute!
[02:27] Iwamatsu
I'm known as Iwamatsu,
the human punching bag!
[02:30] Iwamatsu
Anyone up for blowing off some steam?
[02:34] Iwamatsu
If you can knock me out,
you won't have to pay,
[02:37] ---
plus you get a prize!
[02:39] Kagura
Ooh, ooh! Let me try!
[02:41] Iwamatsu
Hmm? What? A kid?
[02:43] Iwamatsu
This will be the perfect demonstration.
[02:47] Iwamatsu
You wanna give it a shot, little girl?
[02:49] Iwamatsu
Okay, you shouldn't need a glove.
[02:51] Iwamatsu
Hit me as hard as you can.
[02:59] Kagura
Yay! Knocked him out with one punch!
SIGN People Forget to Return Stuff All the Time Without Even Realizing It
[03:09] Kagura
Food for me!
[03:13] Kagura
Delicious!
[03:14] Iwamatsu
R-Really.
[03:15] Iwamatsu
Enjoy yourself.
[03:17] Iwamatsu
Ka-Kabuki's crazy!
[03:19] Iwamatsu
I-I was too naive!
[03:21] Iwamatsu
I-I wasn't expecting
a monster like this!
[03:25] Iwamatsu
And she's just a kid!
[03:27] Iwamatsu
How scary are the adults
in the Kabuki District?!
[03:31] Iwamatsu
U-Uh, young lady...
[03:32] Iwamatsu
Have you been practicing the
Divine Fist of the North Star?
[03:35] Iwamatsu
I was really surprised.
[03:37] Iwamatsu
I didn't expect a little
girl to be so strong,
[03:38] ---
though you're not as strong as I am.
[03:40] Iwamatsu
S-So, are there other people in
[03:42] ---
the Kabuki District who
are strong like you?
[03:45] Kagura
Nope, I'm queen of the Kabuki District.
[03:48] Iwamatsu
O-Of course!
[03:50] Iwamatsu
You're not gonna find too
many people this strong!
[03:53] Kagura
Is this your first time
in the Kabuki District?
[03:56] Iwamatsu
Huh? Oh, yeah.
[03:58] Iwamatsu
I came from the countryside
to do business,
[04:00] Iwamatsu
but I don't know my way around the city.
[04:02] Kagura
Want me to show you around?
[04:04] Kagura
I can show you some nice places
in return for the meat bun.
[04:08] Iwamatsu
What? Really?
[04:09] Kagura
You can ask me anything
about the Kabuki District.
[04:12] Kagura
So basically, you're looking
for a place with a bunch
[04:15] Kagura
of irritated guys who
will want to hit you.
[04:18] Iwamatsu
Yes, and I would prefer that
they not be too strong.
[04:22] Iwamatsu
Well, I suppose it doesn't matter.
[04:24] Iwamatsu
But if they're too strong,
[04:26] Iwamatsu
it will be harder for me
to control my strength
[04:28] ---
and I might end up injuring them.
[04:29] Kagura
Leave it to me.
[04:30] Kagura
I know the perfect place.
SIGN Otose
[04:32] Iwamatsu
What's this place?
[04:33] Kagura
A bar for drinking cheap booze.
[04:35] Kagura
The patrons don't have much money.
[04:37] Kagura
Most of them come here to
bitch about their life.
[04:40] Iwamatsu
I see.
[04:41] Iwamatsu
There should be plenty of
irritated patrons here.
[04:44] Iwamatsu
The queen of the Kabuki
District knows her territory.
[04:46] Iwamatsu
My first customer just happened to be
[04:49] ---
this anomaly of a girl.
[04:50] Iwamatsu
But I shouldn't need to be scared
of a bunch of old drunks.
[04:55] Otose
Don't come here if don't have any money!
[04:59] Catherine
You're always drinking
and never paying up!
[05:01] Catherine
This isn't your home!
[05:03] Otose
Crush! Crush! Crush!
[05:07] Iwamatsu
M-My potential customers
are already punching bags!
[05:14] Kagura
Hey, Gin-chan, Madao.
[05:16] Kagura
This guy sells himself
as a punching bag.
[05:17] Kagura
Want to blow off some steam?
[05:20] Kagura
You can hit him as many
times as you want.
[05:21] Iwamatsu
Wait! I refuse! It's obvious
that they have no money!
[05:25] Madao
Punching bag?
[05:27] Madao
People treat me like a
punching bag every day.
[05:30] Madao
People like me should die.
[05:33] Iwamatsu
This guy's dangerous!
[05:34] Iwamatsu
He's not irritated! He
should be on suicide watch!
[05:37] Kagura
Wake up, Gin-chan.
[05:38] Kagura
This guy sells himself
as a punching bag.
[05:40] Gin
Punching bag?
[05:42] Gin
Can I?
[05:43] Gin
Don't blame me though.
[05:44] Gin
He might go from punching
bag to body bag.
[05:47] Iwamatsu
You're scaring me!
[05:48] Iwamatsu
What's wrong with this snack bar?!
[05:49] Iwamatsu
Why are the customers all deranged?!
[05:52] Kagura
Don't worry.
[05:53] Kagura
Gin-chan and Madao can
be super when they try.
[05:56] Iwamatsu
No, it's impossible!
[05:57] Iwamatsu
They're completely smashed!
And they're broke!
[05:59] Iwamatsu
Forget it! Forget it!
[06:00] Iwamatsu
I'll look for customers somewhere else!
[06:01] Gin
Don't make fun of me.
[06:04] Gin
Everybody's obsessed with money!
[06:06] Gin
So I don't have money.
[06:08] Gin
I still got something
that's damn valuable.
SIGN Destiny of an Emperor
[06:11] Iwamatsu
It's an NES cartridge!
[06:13] Gin
You fool!
[06:14] Gin
Destiny of an Emperor
was a brilliant RPG that
[06:15] ---
was loved by everyone important!
[06:17] Gin
If you find the right buyer,
it'll fetch a pretty penny.
[06:19] Iwamatsu
Who cares?!
[06:20] Iwamatsu
And the name Takeshi
is written on there!
SIGN Takeshi
[06:22] Iwamatsu
You obviously borrowed
it and never returned it!
[06:24] Madao
Hey, hold on!
[06:26] Madao
Isn't that the game I let you borrow?!
[06:28] Gin
You were just letting me borrow a game
[06:30] Gin
that you borrowed from someone
else and never returned!
[06:31] Gin
It doesn't belong to you!
[06:33] Madao
Shut up!
[06:34] Madao
How can you sell something that
you borrowed from someone else?!
[06:36] Gin
You're the one who let me borrow a
game you borrowed from someone else!
[06:38] Madao
Let go!
[06:39] Gin
Stop it!
[06:41] Iwamatsu
This might be the most
pointless fight ever!
[06:46] Madao
Bastard! What was that for?!
[06:48] Madao
Destiny of an Emperor
was Three-Kingdom'd!
[06:51] Gin
That's not funny!
[06:52] Madao
Apologize to Takeshi!
[06:54] Gin
Shut up!
[06:55] Gin
You should apologize to Takeshi!
[06:56] Iwamatsu
Apologize to the people who
are watching this crap on TV!
[07:00] Kagura
Oh, now they're punching each other.
[07:03] Kagura
I guess they won't need a punching bag.
[07:05] Iwamatsu
I'm pretty sure they never did.
[07:07] Iwamatsu
Uh, forget about looking
for irritated people.
[07:11] Iwamatsu
Could you take me to a place
[07:12] ---
with friendly and energetic people?
[07:15] Kagura
Hmm...
[07:16] Kagura
Energetic...
[07:18] Kagura
I guess there's a place.
[07:21] Iwamatsu
There is?
[07:21] Iwamatsu
Could you take me there?
[07:25] Katsura
It is time for action!
[07:27] Katsura
We must punish the dogs
of the hated Bakufu
[07:31] ---
who have persecuted us for so long!
[07:33] Katsura
Tomorrow at dawn,
[07:34] ---
we will attack the
Shinsengumi headquarters!
[07:37] Katsura
And...
[07:38] Katsura
...do this to all of their toilet paper!
[07:41] Katsura
Turn the roll so it comes out backwards!
[07:44] A
Damn Shinsengumi!
[07:46] A
Today will be the last day you can take
a dump without having to think twice!
[07:48] B
After tomorrow morning,
[07:50] B
they will suffer a living hell
[07:52] ---
of toilet paper that
never stops rolling!
[07:56] Iwamatsu
Who are these idiots?
[07:58] Kagura
Energetic terrorists.
[08:00] Iwamatsu
Terrorists?!
[08:01] Iwamatsu
Why did you bring me here?!
[08:03] Kagura
They have plenty of energy.
[08:05] Kagura
I'm sure they'll be great customers.
[08:08] Kagura
Hey, Zura!
[08:10] Katsura
Oh, leader!
[08:11] Joi
Good evening, leader!
[08:13] Kagura
Want to warm up before you
go take on the Shinsengumi?
[08:16] Kagura
I brought a punching bag!
[08:19] Katsura
Punching bag?
[08:20] Kagura
You can beat up this human
punching bag for a whole minute.
[08:23] Kagura
Pretend that he's from the Shinsengumi
and vent your frustration!
[08:27] A
I get it! Brilliant, leader!
[08:30] B
We were letting our emotions
get the better of us!
[08:33] B
We should beat him up
and calm ourselves down!
[08:35] A
Okay! Let's do this!
[08:37] Iwamatsu
Ah! Wait!
[08:39] Iwamatsu
I can't handle all of you at once!
[08:40] Iwamatsu
One at a time!
[08:41] Katsura
Stop, you fools!
[08:44] Katsura
A samurai should never attack someone
[08:47] ---
who is not fighting back!
[08:50] Katsura
And you call yourself Joi patriots?!
[08:52] Joi
W-We're sorry, Katsura-san!
[08:55] Katsura
I apologize for their behavior.
[08:58] Katsura
Forgive us.
[08:59] Katsura
They are normally well-behaved.
[09:01] Katsura
I suppose that they're excited
about the upcoming battle.
[09:04] Iwamatsu
Nah, don't sweat it.
[09:07] Iwamatsu
This is my job, so as long
as they come one at a time...
[09:10] Katsura
I wish to settle accounts.
[09:12] Katsura
Could you please give each member
[09:15] ---
a double slap in the face?
[09:16] Iwamatsu
I'm asking you to hit me!
[09:19] Iwamatsu
Don't worry about it.
[09:20] Iwamatsu
Really, this is my job.
[09:22] Iwamatsu
I'm asking you to hit me.
[09:24] Katsura
But I will not accept it!
[09:26] Kagura
Watch your tongue!
[09:27] Katsura
You must slap each of
them the way she is!
[09:29] Iwamatsu
Why are you punching them?!
[09:31] Iwamatsu
I can't put food on the
table by hitting you people!
[09:34] Iwamatsu
I'm begging you to hit me!
[09:36] Katsura
You are so generous!
[09:38] Katsura
You refuse to hit my men, even after they disrespected you!
[09:42] Katsura
I understand.
[09:44] Katsura
I am responsible for
the failures of my men.
[09:48] Katsura
I shall also offer...
[09:49] Iwamatsu
That's not the issue here!
[09:50] Katsura
...that you give my treasure,
[09:51] ---
a Super Monkey Adventure
cartridge, a double slap!
[09:56] Iwamatsu
Why?!
[09:57] Iwamatsu
What does Super Monkey Adventure
have to do with anything?!
[10:00] Katsura
I'm sorry, Takeshi.
SIGN Takeshi
[10:02] Katsura
I intended to return this game to you...
[10:04] Katsura
Such sorrow!
[10:04] Iwamatsu
And it's another game that was
never returned to Takeshi!
[10:07] Iwamatsu
Who's Takeshi?!
[10:08] Iwamatsu
Is it the same Takeshi?!
[10:10] A
Don't be too hasty, Katsura-san!
[10:12] A
Have you forgotten your
promise to Takeshi?!
[10:14] Katsura
Not another word!
[10:15] Katsura
Forgive me, Takeshi!
[10:17] Iwamatsu
Hey! I can't tell if
Takeshi is loved or hated!
[10:22] Okita
The gig's up!
[10:24] Okita
Katsura!
[10:25] Okita
Turn yourself in!
[10:27] Katsura
Shit!
[10:28] Katsura
The enemy has learned of our plan!
[10:30] Katsura
Then I have no choice!
[10:31] Katsura
Onward, men!
[10:32] Joi
Take this!
[10:34] Joi
Super Monkey Adventure!
[10:36] Iwamatsu
Why are you throwing cartridges?!
[10:38] Iwamatsu
And how many copies do you have?!
[10:44] Okita
They escaped outside!
[10:45] Okita
Contact the 3rd Squad!
[10:48] Okita
Huh? China girl?
[10:49] Okita
Why are you here?
[10:51] Kagura
Oh, the perfect sucker.
[10:53] Kagura
He's a sadist, so he'd
be a perfect customer.
[10:56] Iwamatsu
First terrorists, now cops?!
[10:58] Okita
A punching bag?
[10:59] Kagura
Yup. You must be pissed
about letting Zura escape.
[11:02] Kagura
You can use him to blow off some steam.
[11:03] Okita
It's not my thing.
[11:05] Okita
There's nothing fun about hitting
someone who wants to be hit.
[11:08] Okita
But I love to see the contorted
faces of people in pain.
[11:12] Iwamatsu
You're twisted!
[11:13] Iwamatsu
What's wrong with this guy?!
[11:14] Iwamatsu
Is he really a cop?!
[11:15] Okita
If he was an artful dodger
instead of a human punching bag,
[11:18] Okita
and he offered to pay me instead
of charging, I might hit him.
[11:22] Iwamatsu
That would make me a sick bastard!
[11:25] Kagura
That's that, then.
[11:26] Kagura
Pay up.
[11:27] Iwamatsu
Huh?
[11:28] Kagura
I'm telling you to pay up!
[11:30] Iwamatsu
What?!
[11:31] Iwamatsu
I'm supposed to pay him to hit me?!
[11:35] Iwamatsu
I'm trying to make money here!
[11:36] Kagura
So you come all the way out to the city,
[11:38] Kagura
and then you turn around and go back
[11:39] ---
without even getting hit once?!
[11:41] Kagura
Aren't you a punching bag?!
[11:42] Kagura
If you have to pay for someone
to hit you, so be it!
[11:44] Iwamatsu
That would make me some kind of S&M
freak who's paying to be punished!
[11:47] Okita
Well, twenty grand will do.
[11:51] Iwamatsu
Why is this happening?
[11:52] Okita
Now say, I'll give you all
my money, so stop hitting me.
[11:56] Iwamatsu
I'll give you all my
money, so stop hitting me.
[11:59] Okita
Pretend like you're
back in middle school.
[12:01] Iwamatsu
That's my whole allowance.
[12:03] Iwamatsu
Cut me some slack, man.
[12:05] Okita
Now like you're a foreigner.
[12:06] Iwamatsu
All the money!
[12:08] Iwamatsu
But not the body!
[12:10] Okita
I guess I'll let you go this time.
[12:13] Iwamatsu
That was highway robbery!
[12:15] Iwamatsu
Give me back my money!
[12:17] Iwamatsu
Aren't you a cop?!
[12:18] Iwamatsu
You want a fight?!
[12:19] Kondo
Sorry.
[12:20] Kondo
It appears that one of
my men was upsetting you.
[12:23] Iwamatsu
What?
[12:25] Kondo
Man, he's so hopeless.
[12:27] Kondo
Sorry!
[12:28] Kondo
I must apologize, as his superior.
[12:30] Kondo
So, please keep this quiet.
[12:33] Kondo
Here, consider this compensation
instead of a bribe.
[12:37] Iwamatsu
Huh? Should a cop be doing this?
[12:39] Kondo
Please! It's not a big
deal! Just take it!
[12:43] Iwamatsu
Uh, this is wrong.
[12:44] Iwamatsu
Are you sure about this?
[12:45] Kondo
It's perfectly fine.
[12:47] Kondo
Anyway, please forgive him.
[12:49] Kondo
I'm counting on your silence.
[12:53] Kondo
Hemosoro suparami bachiguso nemosamu...
[12:56] Iwamatsu
It's a spell of resurrection!
[12:59] Iwamatsu
For what game?!
[13:01] Iwamatsu
I don't need this crap!
[13:03] Iwamatsu
It's a worthless piece of paper!
SIGN Takeshi
[13:05] Iwamatsu
You again, Takeshi?!
[13:08] Iwamatsu
How many of your games are
floating around out there?!
[13:10] Iwamatsu
Why did you even bother
writing your name?!
[13:13] Iwamatsu
Everybody must hate you!
[13:15] Iwamatsu
Your crap's scattered around the
world like the Dragon Balls!
[13:18] Yamazaki
I apologize for my
superior's rude behavior.
[13:21] Yamazaki
Please keep this quiet.
[13:23] Iwamatsu
Hey, what's wrong with the cops here?
[13:26] Kondo
Here, consider this compensation
instead of a bribe.
[13:29] Iwamatsu
No, enough of that already.
[13:31] Iwamatsu
No more.
[13:36] Iwamatsu
Hey!
[13:38] Iwamatsu
I don't need any more
spells of resurrection!
[13:39] Yamazaki
Anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan
anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan anpan...
[13:41] Iwamatsu
What is he trying to resurrect?!
[13:44] Iwamatsu
What the hell?!
[13:46] Iwamatsu
What does this mean?!
[13:47] Iwamatsu
I have no idea, but I'm
scared to death now!
[13:49] Kagura
Hey, he's looking at us.
[13:52] Iwamatsu
He just said something.
[13:54] Iwamatsu
What did he say?!
[13:55] Iwamatsu
Hey, am I going to be okay?!
[13:56] Iwamatsu
Did he just curse me?!
[13:58] Iwamatsu
Hey! Wait!
[13:59] Iwamatsu
Is it really okay?!
SIGN Greater Edo Parking Lot
SIGN Meat Bun
[14:04] Kagura
Sorry I couldn't help you.
[14:08] Iwamatsu
It's okay.
[14:10] Iwamatsu
I'll give up on being a punching bag.
[14:13] Iwamatsu
I guess this town doesn't need one.
[14:17] Iwamatsu
There aren't any nasty
people in this town
[14:19] Iwamatsu
who get pleasure out of hitting
someone who doesn't fight back.
[14:24] Iwamatsu
The people here tackle their problems
[14:27] ---
head-on and blow off
stress by running wild.
[14:32] Iwamatsu
I knew that the people
in this town were strong.
[14:37] Iwamatsu
I wanted to be strong like they were,
[14:40] ---
instead of working this creepy job.
[14:43] Kagura
Really?
[14:45] Kagura
It's too bad.
[14:47] Kagura
I didn't understand
the complicated stuff,
[14:49] ---
but I feel better now,
[14:51] Kagura
since you let me punch you.
[14:55] Kagura
I'm sure there are people who need you.
[15:00] Kagura
Like, for instance...
[15:03] Kagura
Over there.
SIGN Takeshi
[15:07] Takeshi
I agreed to co-sign the loan
[15:10] Takeshi
'cause he promised to
pay the money back,
[15:13] ---
and then he runs away.
[15:16] Takeshi
I'm doomed to live a life where
nobody ever returns anything to me.
[15:19] Takeshi
I should have written
my name on the money...
SIGN Takeshi
[15:22] Iwamatsu
Is that... Is that...?
[15:25] Kagura
I wouldn't say that everybody is strong.
[15:27] Kagura
Some people are overwhelmed
by their gloomy feelings.
[15:32] Kagura
Your job isn't creepy.
[15:35] Kagura
You should be proud.
[15:38] Kagura
You're the only one who
[15:40] ---
can receive the fist of the
injured soul who never has
[15:43] Kagura
anything returned by the idiots
of the Kabuki district.
[15:56] Iwamatsu
I never truly understood
[15:58] ---
what it meant to be a punching bag.
[16:02] Iwamatsu
My job wasn't to let
other people hit me.
[16:06] Iwamatsu
It was to accept their
fists, their feelings...
[16:17] Iwamatsu
Takeshi-kun, you can have
me for a whole minute.
[16:21] Iwamatsu
I'll help you forget
all the bad memories.
[16:23] Iwamatsu
How about it?
[16:24] Takeshi
Gah! Pervert!
[16:41] Kagura
Congratulations.
[16:42] Kagura
Somebody finally punched you.
[16:50] Iwamatsu
This doesn't seem right.
SIGN We Ended Kind of Early So We're Gonna Start the Next Episode (Take Two)
[18:29] Kagura
Have you forgotten
[18:32] Kagura
about the red kerchief?
[18:36] Kagura
When we went to the bath
in the neighboring town...
[18:39] Gin
Hey, want me to drop
you in the Kanda River?
SIGN Greater Edo Bathhouse
[18:43] Gin
Don't forget that you fell asleep
in the bath, almost drowned,
[18:46] Gin
and destroyed everything in the process!
[18:49] A
Adults are 200 yen.
Children are 100 yen.
SIGN Men
SIGN Women
[18:52] Kagura
Don't treat me like a child.
[18:54] Kagura
I'm a woman now.
[18:55] Kagura
Charge me another 100 yen.
[18:57] Gin
Shut your mouth.
[18:59] Gin
Lady, I have the soul of a boy,
[19:01] Gin
so how's 200 for both of us sound?
[19:04] Kagura
Gin-chan, please give
me another 100 yen.
[19:06] Kagura
I want to have some coffee
milk after my bath.
[19:09] Gin
You can drink the water
in the bath, you brat.
[19:13] Shin
Huh?
[19:14] Shin
Why are you here, Gin-san?
[19:16] Gin
Commercial break finally ends and
[19:17] ---
they're treated to a shot of your ass.
[19:20] Gin
Why are you here?
[19:21] Shin
There was a special
about hot springs on TV,
[19:23] Shin
so Sis decided she wanted
to enjoy a large bath.
[19:25] Gin
You should have tossed her into
a big puddle or something.
[19:29] Gin
I figured I would have
the place to myself.
[19:32] Shin
Nice to see you, too.
[19:34] Shin
You were probably going to
peek at the women, right?
[19:37] Gin
I'm not gonna pick a fight with Agnes.
[19:43] Kondo
Oh, sorry!
[19:44] Kondo
There's construction work
being done on this bath,
[19:46] ---
so could you go somewhere else?
[19:49] Gin
Hey, how did the gorilla find out?
[19:52] Gin
I don't want to share a bath with him.
[19:54] Gin
I'll probably catch
some kind of disease.
[19:55] Hijikata
You're the disease.
[19:57] Hijikata
You can use the tepid
kiddy bath over there.
[20:01] Hijikata
It's probably your style.
SIGN Kiddy Pool Do not jump in.
[20:02] Okita
That's the Hijikata-san we know.
[20:04] Okita
A real Edo boy loves steaming hot baths.
[20:07] Hijikata
Yeah, this ain't hot enough.
[20:08] Hijikata
Load 'er up.
[20:09] Okita
Here.
[20:10] Hijikata
Hey!
[20:11] Hijikata
Where'd you get leftover
water from cooking yakisoba?!
[20:13] Gin
I'll use this chance to wash
the underwear I was wearing.
[20:16] Gin
Saves money.
[20:17] Hijikata
This isn't the Ganges River!
[20:19] Kondo
Stop it, people!
[20:21] Kondo
We're here to take a bath!
[20:23] Kondo
If you're going to make a ruckus, leave!
[20:24] Kondo
Otae-san can stay!
[20:26] Gin
You're obviously not
here to take a bath.
[20:28] Gin
If you're looking for a quick
cleaning, jump in a washing machine.
[20:31] Gin
This is no place for
dirty bastards like you!
[20:34] Kondo
What was that?!
[20:34] Kondo
I'll Vidal Sassoon your pubes!
[20:37] Gin
Eh?!
[20:37] Gin
I'll pluck out your
ass hairs one by one!
[20:40] Kondo
Get out!
[20:41] Kondo
You're in Vidal Sassoon territory!
[20:43] Gin
Fine! Let's take this outside!
[20:45] Gin
I'll show you what tweezers can do!
[20:48] Chibi
Whoa, this is a bathhouse?
[20:50] Chibi
It's huge!
[20:51] Chibi
I wanna swim!
[20:53] Gin
Eh?! Swim?!
[20:54] Gin
This isn't the pool!
[20:56] Kondo
Only Vidal Sassooners
are allowed here, kid!
[20:58] Kondo
We booked the place!
[21:01] Chibi
What? Booked the place?
[21:03] Chibi
No way.
[21:04] Chibi
I heard that everybody's
allowed in a bathhouse.
[21:07] Shin
G-Gin-san...
[21:08] Shin
Th-That's...
[21:10] Chibi
Papa, they said that
they booked the bath.
[21:13] Goro
What's that?
[21:14] Goro
That's odd.
[21:16] Goro
I heard that the bathhouse
is a public place.
[21:18] Goro
Brother, they booked the place.
[21:20] Shiro
What? That's impossible.
[21:21] Shiro
Brother Saburo said we could
all take a bath here, right?
[21:25] Saburo
Don't look at me.
[21:27] Saburo
Well, Brother Jiro?
[21:28] Jiro
Father, where's our eldest brother?
[21:30] Dad
Beats me.
[21:32] Hedoro
Hey. What are you all doing?
[21:34] Saburo
Ah, Big Brother!
[21:37] Hedoro
Huh?
[21:38] Hedoro
The Odd Jobs members.
[21:40] Hedoro
It's been a while.
[21:42] Hedoro
It's me, the Hedoro next door.
[21:49] Gin
He-Hedoro has multiplied!
[21:55] Saburo
Uh, I heard that you booked the place?
[21:58] Jiro
We're not allowed in here?
SIGN Kiddy Pool Do not jump in.
[22:05] Both
Welcome!
[22:06] Both
Enjoy yourselves!
[22:08] Chibi
Yay!
[22:09] Hedoro
I apologize.
[22:11] Hedoro
It appears that we are imposing on you.
[22:13] Kondo
H-Hey! Why is the Addams Family here?!
[22:16] Kondo
You know them?!
[22:18] Both
N-No! We never knew there were so many!
[22:21] Hedoro
You see, my family's visiting
from the countryside,
[22:25] Hedoro
so I decided to bring
them to a bathhouse
[22:27] ---
to show them what Edo's like.
[22:29] All
Wr-Wring Edo to death?!
[22:32] Hedoro
We don't take baths
together on our planet.
[22:37] Hedoro
I think it's dynamite to strip
down and spend time together.
[22:41] All
St-Strip down dynamite!
[22:44] Gin
I-I don't believe it!
[22:46] Gin
Th-They're finally
moving to invade Earth!
[22:51] Hijikata
I-Invade Earth?!
[22:53] Hijikata
Impossible!
[22:54] Okita
They're starting by taking
over this bathhouse.
[22:57] Okita
Damn monsters!
[22:58] Kondo
We don't have time to argue about
Vidal Sassoons and tweezers.
[23:02] Kondo
We need to warn everyone!
[23:04] Kondo
Run for it as soon as they
get in the adult bath.
[23:18] Hedoro
Yes, such a wonderful bath.
[23:24] All
They got in the kiddy bath!
SIGN To Be Continued Next Episode
SIGN Next Episode The Bathhouse, Where You're Naked in Body and Soul
[23:30] Hedoro
And so, we will continue
this story next week.
[2:12:16] ---
#ED
E220 - The Bathhouse, Where You're Naked in Body and Soul
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:31] Kagura
Have you forgotten...
[01:35] Kagura
...about the red kerchief?
[01:39] All
They got in the kiddy bath!
SIGN The Bathhouse, Where You're Naked in Body and Soul
[01:52] Gin
Huh? Why?
[01:54] Gin
Why?
[01:56] Gin
Why did these giants
get in the kiddy bath?
[01:59] Gin
U-Uh...
[02:00] Gin
The adult bath is warmer
and more comfortable.
[02:04] Hedoro
Oh...
[02:04] Hedoro
Actually, our race
can't stand hot water.
[02:07] Hedoro
We only bathe in cold water.
[02:09] Hedoro
We'd love to use the cold bath
over there but it's too small for us.
[02:13] Gin
We made the wrong choice!
[02:15] Gin
We should have gotten in the adult bath!
[02:17] Gin
Hey! We're completely surrounded!
[02:19] Gin
Like an innocent bystander in the
middle of a bunch of burly, tattooed men!
[02:22] Kondo
Dude, they're watching us!
[02:23] Kondo
They're staring at us!
[02:24] Hijikata
What do we do?! We can't get out!
[02:26] Hedoro
How is the water, Dad?
[02:29] Dad
Too warm!
[02:30] Dad
This is what the Edo folk are used to?
[02:32] Dad
I'd prefer cold water that
makes you shiver good.
[02:36] Hedoro
Our dad is a traditional Dakini.
[02:39] Hedoro
But it's true that the
water is a little lukewarm.
[02:43] Shin
Um, we were just saying how
the water was too warm.
[02:46] Shin
Want me to add some cold water?
[02:47] Hedoro
Oh, no. There's no need for that.
[02:49] Hedoro
I brought an iceberg just
in case this happened.
[02:55] Saburo
That's our Brother Hedoro!
[02:57] Saburo
He's always prepared.
[02:58] Jiro
This ice water is perfect.
[03:02] Kondo
Y-You bet!
[03:03] Kondo
It gives you a real kick!
[03:05] Gin
How cold do they need their water?!
[03:07] Gin
We aren't seals!
[03:08] Kondo
My lips are turning purple!
[03:10] Kondo
I'm gonna freeze to
death! Freeze to death!
[03:13] Gin
Hey! Someone get us out of here!
[03:15] Shin
No!
[03:16] Shin
They'll think that we don't
like their ice-cold water!
[03:20] Okita
Damn, I'm getting sleepy.
[03:22] Hijikata
Don't go to sleep! You'll die!
[03:24] Chibi
Papa, can I get out?
[03:26] Gin
That's it!
[03:27] Gin
Kids hate long baths!
[03:29] Gin
We'll use this chance to...!
[03:30] Hedoro
Absolutely not!
[03:34] Hedoro
You must stay in the bath
for at least ten minutes.
[03:38] Hedoro
Otherwise you won't be able to
wash away the sweat and grime.
[03:42] Hedoro
Look.
[03:43] Hedoro
Follow the example of these young men.
[03:45] Hedoro
They're even washing their heads.
[03:48] Hedoro
Goro, you need to do a
better job of raising him.
[03:51] Goro
Sorry, Brother.
[03:52] Goro
I can't stop spoiling him.
[03:53] Kondo
Ten minutes?!
[03:54] Kondo
If we stay in this freezing water
for ten minutes, we'll be dead!
[03:58] Kondo
No more!
[03:59] Kondo
My dick has shrunk to the point where
it looks like I have three balls.
[04:03] Gin
Wait, yours was always that small.
[04:04] Kondo
It's going to completely disappear!
[04:06] Okita
Either way, we're dead.
[04:09] Okita
Hijikata-san, you lead the way.
[04:10] Hijikata
Screw that!
[04:11] Hijikata
I'll do whatever it takes
to live longer than you!
[04:14] Hijikata
You go!
[04:15] Gin
Then the person who runs out of breath
first gets to take one for the team.
[04:18] Gin
That settles it!
[04:19] Kondo
Hey, that's dirty!
[04:21] Kondo
You go!
[04:22] Gin
You!
[04:23] Kondo
You!
[04:24] Gin
Bastard!
[04:28] Shin
Hey! This isn't the time to
be fighting amongst ourselves!
[04:31] Kondo
I refuse to go!
[04:34] Gin
Hey! Hold on!
[04:35] Gin
What are you holding on to?
[04:45] Gin
Hey! Why are you holding that?!
[04:48] Gin
And that geezer's balls really sag!
[04:50] Shin
Let go! Quick!
[04:52] Kondo
N-No!
[04:53] Kondo
I can't move my fingers!
They're frozen stiff!
[04:54] Gin
Hey, surface and make
up some kind of excuse!
[04:57] Gin
We'll deal with the situation down here.
[04:58] Both
What kind of excuse do you want?!
[05:03] Shin
Y-Yeah, this is such a nice bath.
[05:07] Hedoro
What were you doing underwater?
[05:09] Hijikata
Oh, we were holding a
little diving contest.
[05:12] Hijikata
It's all the rage these days.
[05:14] Hijikata
Damn, I lost!
[05:16] Hedoro
Earthlings are such fun.
[05:20] Hedoro
Hm? Is something wrong, Dad?
[05:22] Dad
Hm, my crotch feels strange.
[05:25] Hedoro
Huh?
[05:26] Shin
O-Oh, it must be a side
effect of the water!
[05:29] Hedoro
A side effect of the water?
[05:30] Shin
Yes, you know?
[05:32] Shin
Right, Mr. Make-up-an-excuse?
[05:34] Shin
Why don't you explain it to them?
[05:35] Hijikata
What?!
[05:39] Hijikata
I-In fact, the water in this bath
is drawn from an underground spring
[05:42] Hijikata
known as the Biagra Spring.
[05:44] All
The Biagra Spring?
[05:46] Hijikata
It's excellent for improving
your health and sexual drive!
[05:50] Dad
Oh, I see.
[05:52] Dad
That's why it feels like
something's tugging on my junk.
[05:56] Hijikata
I-I'm sure that you'll feel like
a young man once you're done here.
[06:01] Dad
Oh, that sounds like a challenge.
[06:03] Dad
Honey, let's try for number six tonight!
[06:07] Mom
Oh, please.
[06:09] Hedoro
Come on, Dad.
[06:15] Goro
Huh?
[06:15] Hedoro
Dad?
[06:17] Shin
Your dad must be really excited.
[06:19] Shin
He's joining in the diving contest.
[06:21] Jiro
Oh, I see.
[06:23] Saburo
But I see a lot of bubbles.
[06:26] Hedoro
Oh, his hand.
[06:26] Shiro
He seems to be struggling...
[06:28] Shin
I-It's a V!
[06:29] Shin
He's signaling V for victory!
[06:30] Shin
It's too easy!
[06:31] Shiro
Oh, he was signaling a V.
[06:33] Goro
Oh, somebody's come up for a breath!
[06:35] Kondo
Hel...
[06:37] Jiro
He just asked for help...
[06:43] Saburo
Uh, it's obvious that something's
happening down there...
[06:46] Shin
Nothing's happening!
Nothing's happening at all!
[06:48] Hijikata
Th-They're just playing around.
[06:49] Hijikata
Those guys are such jokers.
[06:51] Hedoro
Hey, Jiro.
[06:52] Hedoro
Take a look down there.
[06:53] Jiro
Y-Yes.
[06:54] Shin
Hold on!
[06:55] Shin
Nothing's happening!
[06:56] Shin
Everything's okay!
[06:58] Hedoro
Oh, there he is.
[07:00] Goro
We were worried, Dad.
[07:02] Goro
Are you okay?
[07:03] Kondo
Sorry, sorry.
[07:04] Kondo
I ran into this giant squid underwater.
[07:06] Kondo
Man, I thought I was finished.
[07:08] Both
Uh, we're definitely finished now!
[07:10] Hedoro
Huh? Wait, who are you?
[07:12] Kondo
Huh? Wh-What are you talking
about? I'm your dad.
[07:14] Both
No, no, no.
[07:16] Both
You can't fool them like that!
[07:17] Gin
Oh, it must be the Biagra Spring.
[07:20] Okita
He's young again. That's awesome.
[07:23] Both
Impossible! They're not gonna buy it!
[07:25] Hedoro
What?
[07:26] Hedoro
R-Really?
[07:27] Hedoro
You look like a completely
different person.
[07:29] Kondo
What?! You've forgotten how
your own father looks?!
[07:31] Kondo
Honey, let's forget about these
heartless jerks and make a new kid!
[07:38] Hijikata
She's ignoring him!
[07:40] Hijikata
She knows the truth!
[07:42] Kondo
A-Anyway, it's time to get out.
[07:44] Kondo
I'm feeling a bit chilly
after the long bath.
[07:46] Hedoro
Wait a moment, Dad.
[07:48] Hedoro
Something's dangling from your crotch.
[07:51] Shin
Dad is dangling from dad!
[07:54] Kondo
What are you talking about?
[07:55] Kondo
That's just my ball sack.
[07:57] Hedoro
Your ball sack?
[07:59] Hedoro
It looks exactly like your former self.
[08:01] Kondo
It's just a ball sack.
[08:02] Kondo
Look at the wrinkles.
[08:03] Kondo
It's become bloated after
sitting in the water.
[08:04] Hedoro
C-Come to think of it, I've never
seen your ball sack before.
[08:08] Hedoro
So this is your ball sack?
[08:10] Shin
Of course not!
[08:14] Shin
Gi-Gin-san!
[08:16] Gin
We've got no choice.
[08:17] Gin
They got stuck together.
[08:18] Gin
We'll just have to ride out
the storm on this story.
[08:20] Shin
Is that even possible?!
[08:21] Shin
We're supposed to
weather the stormy seas
[08:23] Shin
with that heavy anchor
dangling from our boat?!
[08:34] Shin
Yeah, it's not happening.
[08:36] Shin
What do we do?
[08:38] Shin
We should apologize before
they figure out what happened.
[08:40] Gin
Apologize?
[08:42] Gin
For getting tangled up in
their old man's ball sack
[08:45] Gin
and treating him like a ball sack?
[08:49] Gin
If we do that, we'll be murdered
by the family of demons!
[08:54] Gin
We'll have to trust him.
[08:56] Gin
He'll make it work somehow.
[08:59] Gin
All we can do is pray.
[09:01] Gin
I pray for our success.
[09:02] Hijikata
Wait a second!
[09:04] Hijikata
Don't just spit out
cliches and run away!
[09:07] Hijikata
Do something about Kondo-san!
[09:08] Gin
What?
[09:09] Gin
It's his own fault for getting
tangled in the ball sack!
[09:12] Hedoro
What are you arguing about?
[09:14] Hedoro
Did you forget your shampoo?
[09:17] Hedoro
I can lend you my Temote.
[09:20] Gin
N-No, I prefer Tsubakiki.
[09:22] Hijikata
I go for Vidal Hahhoon.
[09:24] Gin
Uh, I think I stayed in the bath
too long, so I'd like to get going.
[09:28] Hedoro
What? You haven't washed your body yet.
[09:31] Hedoro
Are you trying to be considerate
and give our family some space?
[09:34] Gin
No, that's not it.
[09:35] Hedoro
I'm terribly sorry.
[09:37] Hedoro
We were the ones who barged in
on the bath you had reserved.
[09:41] Hedoro
Please allow us to wash your backs.
[09:44] Hedoro
I cannot leave before I've
shown my appreciation.
[09:47] Gin
He wants to show his appreciation...
[09:50] Hijikata
He won't let us leave
until he's gotten revenge.
[09:52] Hedoro
Jiro, Saburo.
[09:54] Hedoro
Shiro, Goro.
[09:57] Hedoro
We're going to wash their backs.
[10:01] Gin
N-No, no, no!
[10:02] Shin
N-No, thanks!
[10:03] Shin
We can wash ourselves!
[10:06] Okita
That's right.
[10:07] Okita
When someone stands behind me,
I get the urge to beat him down.
[10:09] Hijikata
Hey! Stop making threats!
[10:11] Hijikata
This isn't the time to let
your sadistic side take over!
[10:13] Kondo
Yeah! Let them wash your backs!
[10:17] Gin
That's enough out of
you, Grandpa Ball-Sack!
[10:20] Gin
The gorilla is killing
our chance to escape!
[10:24] Hedoro
I'll wash Dad's back.
[10:27] Hedoro
Let me know if there are
any spots that itch.
[10:29] Kondo
This brings back memories.
[10:31] Kondo
When you were little, you
used to wash my back for me.
[10:34] Hedoro
You would always get mad.
[10:37] Hedoro
You would yell at me to wash harder.
[10:41] Hedoro
Dad! What's wrong?!
[10:43] Jiro
His skin has peeled off, Brother Hedoro!
[10:46] Hedoro
Impossible!
[10:47] Hedoro
Dad used a sponge with
nails to wash himself!
[10:50] Saburo
When did he become so weak?
[10:53] Shiro
Maybe this isn't Dad?
[10:56] Gin
I-It must be, you know...
[10:58] Gin
The soap. He must be
allergic to the soap.
[11:01] Hedoro
Would he start gushing blood
because he's allergic to the soap?
[11:05] Gin
The soap on Earth is really acidic,
[11:08] ---
so you have to be careful
or your body will dissolve!
[11:10] Hedoro
Really...
[11:11] Hedoro
I'm sorry, Dad.
[11:13] Gin
I-It must be hard when you don't
know anything about this place.
[11:16] Gin
We'll teach you the Earth
way of taking a bath,
[11:18] ---
so please have a seat!
[11:24] Jiro
Earthlings are so kind.
[11:26] Goro
They allowed us in the bath that
they had previously reserved,
[11:29] Goro
and they're even offering
to wash our backs.
[11:31] Hedoro
Thank you very much.
[11:33] Hedoro
I promise to return the favor.
[11:35] Gin
N-No, we just want you to
enjoy your stay on Earth.
[11:39] Hijikata
Hey! Why are we doing this?!
[11:42] Gin
It beats having the skin
ripped off our backs!
[11:44] Hijikata
Washing their backs
is just as dangerous!
[11:48] Shin
But we can prevent any further damage
[11:50] ---
to Kondo-san by teaching
them how we clean.
[11:54] Hedoro
Let us learn how they wash
their bodies in Edo, Dad.
[11:59] Shin
See?
[12:00] Hijikata
We need to be really delicate,
[12:01] ---
'cause Kondo-san's body can't take much more.
[12:03] Gin
That settles it.
[12:05] Gin
Now, Hedoro-san.
[12:06] Gin
Do as I do.
[12:08] Gin
First, you must have a gentle mindset.
[12:11] Gin
The soap on Earth is strong,
[12:13] ---
so the softest of sponges
can still hurt your body.
[12:17] Gin
First, we add lotion to the
water to make it smoother.
[12:21] Hijikata
What kind of bath are we talking about?!
[12:23] Hijikata
We don't need to teach them how to
[12:24] ---
wash at the bathhouses you frequent!
[12:25] Gin
I don't frequent them!
[12:26] Gin
If the water is slimy enough,
[12:28] ---
nobody will notice when
there's an accident!
[12:30] Hijikata
What kind of accident?!
[12:32] Hijikata
Your mind is a pile of slime!
[12:34] Okita
So you're a fan, boss.
[12:38] Hijikata
And he already slimed him!
[12:41] Okita
Huh, he's smoking?
[12:44] Shiro
My body is on fire!
[12:46] Shiro
Wh-What did you do?!
[12:49] Shin
What is this?!
[12:50] Shin
They're all in pain, Gin-san!
[12:52] Okita
This is bad, chief.
[12:54] Okita
It looks like their weakness is lotion.
[12:56] Gin
What?!
[12:58] Gin
Their weakness is lotion?
[12:59] ---
Sure, most guys have a weakness for lotion!
[13:03] Kondo
Lotion is getting in my wounds!
[13:05] Hedoro
Say, Odd Jobs. Is everything okay?
[13:08] Gin
E-Everything is fine!
[13:09] Gin
This liquid kills germs.
[13:12] Gin
The pain means that the germs are dying!
[13:14] Gin
B-But we should probably wash it off.
[13:18] Gin
Hey! Pour water on them!
[13:20] Gin
Wash off the lotion!
[13:26] Hijikata
Wh-What do you think you're doing?!
[13:28] Gin
Wh-Who poured lotion
all over the floor?!
[13:30] Hijikata
You did!
[13:32] Okita
Chief, am I doing it right?
[13:34] Hijikata
You don't have to copy him!
[13:36] Shin
Hijikata-san, we have no choice!
[13:38] Shin
Act like this is how we bathe in Edo!
[13:41] Hijikata
Hell no!
[13:43] Shin
If you don't, you'll end up like him.
[13:44] Hedoro
Odd Jobs, are you sure this is
the proper way to apply water?
[13:49] Hijikata
It's fine.
[13:50] Hijikata
This is how we bathe in Edo.
[13:53] Hedoro
You Edo folk are amazing.
[13:55] Hedoro
You torture yourselves
when you take a bath?
[13:59] Gin
Pretty much!
[13:59] Gin
It's like a form of training!
[14:03] Hedoro
I'm very impressed by you samurai.
[14:06] Hedoro
I wouldn't be able to
stand this treatment.
[14:10] Gin
H-He's running out of patience?!
[14:12] Hijikata
Any more and he'll kill us all!
[14:15] Hijikata
I can't trust this guy with our lives!
[14:18] Hijikata
I'll take over then.
[14:21] Hijikata
I have to make up for all
the previous failures.
[14:24] Hijikata
First, we pull the head out of the wall
[14:26] ---
and wash it with lukewarm wate-
[14:29] Hijikata
Wate-
[14:32] Hijikata
H-He won't come out!
[14:35] Hijikata
Wate-
[14:40] Hijikata
But you're actually trying to
impale your forehead on the horns.
[14:43] Shin
Even Hijikata-san screwed up!
[14:46] Hedoro
Huh? Why would you do that?
[14:49] Hijikata
This is how we make amends
for the previous step.
[14:53] Hijikata
Yeah, isn't that right?
[14:55] Gin
No, I've never heard that before.
[14:59] Hijikata
Huh?
[14:59] Gin
That's not how we bathe in Edo.
[15:02] Hijikata
The bastard is ignoring my mistake?!
[15:06] Hijikata
That's bullshit!
[15:07] Hijikata
I've been saving your
ass this whole time!
[15:09] Hijikata
No, think long and hard.
[15:11] Hijikata
You've done this before.
[15:12] Gin
No, I haven't.
[15:13] Gin
I guarantee it.
[15:14] Gin
Why would I want to do that?
[15:16] Gin
Could you stop?
[15:17] Gin
It's pretty disgusting to try to pass
off your mistake as an Edo tradition.
[15:20] Hijikata
Then what the hell have you
been doing this whole time?!
[15:22] Hedoro
Huh? What are you talking about?
[15:24] Hijikata
Man, this is bad!
[15:26] Hijikata
He's figured out that something's wrong!
[15:27] Okita
Huh? You don't follow this practice?
[15:30] Okita
Everybody in the Shinsengumi does.
[15:34] Hijikata
Sogo...
[15:35] Hijikata
You're helping me?
[15:37] Okita
Watch this.
[15:38] Okita
You aim for the center...
[15:40] Okita
Like this!
[15:41] Hijikata
Why me?!
[15:44] Hijikata
I was wondering why he
would jump to my rescue.
[15:47] Hijikata
Now I see why!
[15:49] Hijikata
In that case...
[15:55] Shin
Do these people even realize
that we're in a bathhouse?!
[15:58] Shin
This has nothing to do
with bathing anymore!
[16:00] Shin
And why are the Hedoro brothers
letting you do this?!
[16:04] Hedoro
I see, there are many
different practices in Edo.
[16:08] Shin
Gin-san! Kondo-san!
[16:12] Shin
Th-That's a barbaric practice that was
introduced by some country bumpkins!
[16:15] Shin
You don't need to follow it!
[16:16] Hedoro
Oh, really. That's good.
[16:19] Hedoro
Since the practice would
damage our precious horns.
[16:22] Shin
Horns?
[16:23] Hedoro
Yes, for the Dakini, our horns are
almost as important as our lives.
[16:30] Hedoro
One represents our pride.
[16:32] Hedoro
The other represents our soul.
[16:34] Hedoro
If our horns are damaged, our
pride and soul are tarnished.
[16:41] Gin
The soul of a Dakini...
[16:43] Hijikata
...is stuck in the dirtiest
place in this world!
[16:47] Gin
Pull it out before they notice!
[16:49] Hijikata
It's no use! It's completely stuck!
[16:52] Okita
Kondo-san's rectal
muscles are superhuman.
[16:54] Okita
Let me handle this!
[16:57] Hijikata
Why did you snap them?!
[16:59] Hedoro
Saburo...
[17:01] Hedoro
Your horns...
[17:02] Gin
Is something wrong with his horns?!
[17:05] Hedoro
Well, Saburo's horns appear to be...
[17:07] Hedoro
Huh? They're fine.
[17:09] Hedoro
That's odd...
[17:10] Hedoro
I could have sworn that...
[17:11] Gin
I-It must have been your imagination.
[17:13] Hijikata
You stuck them in upside-down!
[17:14] Hijikata
You stabbed them right into his head!
[17:16] Okita
Anyway, it was tough
getting those horns out.
[17:19] Okita
Huh? They're still there.
[17:21] Gin
I snapped Shiro's horns off
and stuck them on Saburo.
[17:24] Hijikata
That doesn't help anything!
[17:26] Hijikata
Now Shiro's missing his horns!
[17:27] Okita
We'll have to snap off
Goro's horns next.
[17:30] Hijikata
Will it ever end?!
[17:31] Gin
Then we'll take one horn each from
Goro and Jiro to stick on Shiro.
[17:34] Hijikata
That's not the issue!
[17:36] Hijikata
You're just making it worse!
[17:38] Gin
What about the sixth one?
[17:38] Hijikata
There isn't a sixth brother!
[17:40] Hijikata
We only have five to work with!
[17:41] Hedoro
Hey, Saburo, Shiro.
[17:43] Hedoro
And Dad.
[17:44] Hedoro
If you fool around too much,
your precious horns will be...
[17:48] Hedoro
Shiro! Your horns!
[17:50] Gin
Is something wrong with his horns?!
[17:51] Hijikata
Now he docked them together!
[17:53] Hedoro
Well, Shiro's horns appear to be...
[17:55] Hedoro
Huh? They're fine.
[17:57] Hedoro
Wait, there's two of them, so
there should be four horns...
[18:00] Okita
Now...
[18:02] Okita
There are four horns.
[18:03] Hijikata
Those are completely different horns!
[18:05] Hedoro
Oh, that's a relief.
[18:07] Hedoro
It appears that they're safe.
[18:08] Hijikata
How can he believe this crap?!
[18:09] Shin
Such strong horns...
[18:11] Hijikata
In that case, there's nothing
[18:12] ---
wrong with the horns that
are stuck in his ass.
[18:14] Gin
Okay, that's enough preparation.
[18:17] Gin
It's time to wash your backs.
[18:18] Hijikata
I'm too scared to go near them.
SIGN Kiddy Bath Do not jump in.
[18:21] Hedoro
We just need to throw them in the bath?
[18:23] Gin
Yeah, like this.
[18:25] Hijikata
Hey!
[18:26] Hijikata
That's not how you wash someone's back!
[18:29] Hijikata
That's how you dispose of a body!
[18:32] Hedoro
Th-That's...
[18:35] Hedoro
Dad's ball sack has surfaced!
[18:37] Dad
You're wrong!
[18:39] Dad
Don't call me a ball sack!
[18:41] Hedoro
Huh? That means you've
returned to your former self.
[18:45] Hedoro
H-How did you enjoy your stay on Earth?
[18:48] Hedoro
Was it fun?
[18:51] Dad
Hell no!
[18:53] Dad
It was a terrible experience!
[18:56] Gin
D-Damn, he's pissed!
[18:58] Hijikata
Of course he is.
[18:59] Hijikata
We were calling him a ball sack.
[19:01] Hijikata
We're dead!
[19:01] Hijikata
For sure!
[19:03] Hedoro
I-I'm very sorry, Dad.
[19:05] Hedoro
You didn't like Edo.
[19:10] Dad
I didn't come here so you could
show the family the sights.
[19:15] Dad
I wanted to see if you were
living a proper life in Edo.
[19:21] Dad
When you were little, you
spent your days alone
[19:25] Dad
because your appearance
scared everyone off.
[19:29] Dad
So I wanted to see that you weren't
alone on this distant planet.
[19:35] Dad
It was a terrible experience.
[19:38] Dad
I have a bad impression of Edo.
[19:40] Dad
But that doesn't matter.
[19:43] Dad
Because I met some friendly
people who tried their best
[19:47] Dad
to make me welcome.
[19:53] Dad
Hedoro, you've found some good friends.
[20:02] Dad
Everyone...
[20:03] All
Please continue to be
friends with our brother.
[20:07] Chibi
Please!
[20:08] Hedoro
E-Everyone...
[20:13] Shin
I guess we misunderstood
their intentions.
[20:23] Shin
A scary family?
[20:26] Shin
I'd say they're a pretty nice family.
[20:28] Gin
We shouldn't bother them.
[20:32] Gin
Let's make ourselves scarce then.
[20:35] Dad
Oh! Please wait!
[20:38] Dad
I would like to thank you!
[20:39] Shin
No, that won't be necessary.
[20:41] Dad
Well, boys?
[20:42] Dad
Let's show our appreciation
in an Edo fashion.
[20:47] Jiro
I like the sound of that.
[20:48] Jiro
We'll do for them everything
they've done for us.
[20:53] Hedoro
Come over here, guys.
[20:56] Hedoro
It's our turn to wash
your backs Edo-style.
SIGN Greater Edo Bath
[21:02] Kagura
When I said we should leave together,
[21:06] Kagura
I was always the one who had to wait.
[21:11] Kagura
Until my wet hair dried,
[21:16] Kagura
and my soap became hard.
[21:21] Kagura
You would embrace me,
[21:26] Kagura
and say that it was cold.
SIGN Next Episode
[23:20] A
Lady!
[23:21] A
After hearing that you will
be the star next week,
[23:24] ---
I became as excited as a ****** ** ****!
[23:28] Kyubei
Shut up.
[23:28] A
Yes, ma'am.
SIGN Jugem
[23:30] Kyubei
Next time:
[23:30] Kyubei
Jugem.
[23:31] Kyubei
If you don't understand the title,
[23:33] ---
you should do some research.
[23:33] ---
E221 - Jugem
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:31] A
Hey, did you hear?
[01:33] A
There was a messenger from the shogun.
SIGN Yagyu Dojo
[01:36] A
It seems that the shogun wishes for the Yagyu to take custody of a key man.
[01:42] B
It must be someone of Tokugawa blood.
[01:46] B
If not, it will surely be someone from a noble family.
[01:50] B
The Yagyu used to be responsible for providing instruction to the shogun.
[01:54] B
It will be an honor to train alongside a relative of the shogun.
[01:58] B
Still, I wonder who it's supposed to be.
[02:04] Papa
I'm sure that you've heard the rumors.
[02:06] Papa
The shogun has requested that we take custody of a key man.
SIGN Celebrity Life
[02:14] Papa
We are supposed to drill him in the teachings of the Yagyu
[02:16] Papa
and raise him to become a proper celebrity.
[02:19] Papa
And so...
[02:20] Papa
I want to put you in charge of his upbringing.
[02:24] Papa
As you know, my father, Binbokusai Yagyu
[02:26] Papa
once instructed the shogun's father in the art of the sword.
[02:32] Papa
Now it is your turn.
[02:34] Papa
You will stay with our guest at all times,
[02:37] Papa
while training him to become a warrior and keeping him safe.
[02:41] Papa
Can I count on you?
[02:42] Kyubei
Understood.
[02:44] Kyubei
I, Kyubei, swear to fulfill my duty to the Yagyu...
[02:47] Kyubei
No, to fulfill my duty to the shogun, Father.
[02:50] Papa
Yes, an excellent response.
[02:52] Papa
But...
[02:54] Papa
It's not Father, it's Papa!
[02:55] Papa
Or Daddy if you insist!
[02:57] Papa
You must act like a celebrity!
SIGN Celebrity Life
[03:00] Kyubei
I-I'm sorry, Papa!
[03:03] Papa
Listen, you will be teaching him more than how to use a sword.
[03:06] Papa
You must teach him to behave like a celebrity,
[03:08] Papa
to live the celebrity life!
[03:10] Papa
If anything happens to him,
[03:12] ---
seppuku will only be the beginning of our punishment.
[03:14] Papa
Protect him with all of your might and
[03:16] ---
raise him to become a worthy celebrity!
[03:18] Papa
Failure will not be allowed.
[03:20] Kyubei
Yes, sir.
[03:22] Papa
Then Kyubei, you must introduce yourself.
[03:26] Kyubei
Introduce myself?
[03:28] Kyubei
To who?
[03:29] Papa
What are you talking about?
[03:31] Papa
He's right there.
[03:37] Kyubei
Papa, this is...
[03:40] Papa
A key-mon.
SIGN Jugem
[03:50] Gin
What's this?
[03:51] Gin
Are we supposed to laugh?
[03:52] Gin
Will you spare us if we laugh?
[03:54] Shin
So what is going on here, Kyubei-san?
[03:56] Kyubei
The shogun bought his younger sister a monkey as a pet,
[04:00] Kyubei
and this is that monkey's son.
[04:02] Kyubei
However, this monkey is a mischievous prankster who refuses to listen.
[04:07] Kyubei
The retainers were at their wits' end,
[04:09] ---
so they decided to assign its training
[04:12] Kyubei
to the Yagyu.
[04:14] Gin
So they're passing along the hard work.
[04:17] Gin
The former instructors of the shogun have
[04:19] ---
been reduced to monkey tamers.
[04:21] Gin
The prosperous must decay, huh?
[04:26] Gin
This stinks! What is it?!
[04:28] Kyubei
Be careful.
[04:29] Kyubei
The second this guy senses that someone is insulting him,
[04:30] Kyubei
he launches poop as fast as Eastwood.
[04:33] Kyubei
He has the pride of a celebrity, at least.
[04:36] Gin
Where would you find a celebrity that throws shit around?!
[04:38] Gin
Roppongi Hills?!
[04:39] Otae
Kyu-chan, Gin-san is right.
[04:41] Otae
The shogun's retainers just wanted to be rid of it.
[04:44] ---
They won't come back for it.
[04:46] Kyubei
That may be the case, but an order is an order.
[04:48] Kyubei
I must obey.
[04:50] Shin
You're going to keep on looking after this key-mon?
[04:53] Kyubei
He may be naughty, but he's learned how to apologize.
[04:56] Kyubei
Now apologize.
[04:59] Shin
He threw poop while he was apologizing.
[05:01] Shin
He looks as guilty as a regular shoplifter who's gotten caught again.
[05:04] Kyubei
Now that he's my responsibility,
[05:06] Kyubei
I intend to raise him into a celebrity monkey who
[05:08] ---
can stand with the best of them.
[05:10] Kyubei
But there's one problem.
[05:12] Kyubei
This monkey doesn't have a name yet.
[05:16] Kyubei
They intended to give him to one of the shogun's relatives,
[05:19] Kyubei
so they were going to leave the naming to them.
[05:23] Kyubei
But that idea fell through, so he has no name.
[05:26] Kyubei
Since I'll be taking care of him, it would help if he had a name.
[05:30] Kyubei
I would prefer a lucky name that he can be proud of
[05:33] Kyubei
once he returns to the shogun's family.
[05:35] Gin
It doesn't matter what you name a monkey.
[05:37] Gin
How's Monkiki sound?
[05:39] Kyubei
He doesn't like it.
[05:40] Gin
Hey! He doesn't know how to express himself without using shit?!
[05:43] Gin
And how much shit is he packing?!
[05:46] Kyubei
Plain old Monkey would be better than Monkiki
[05:49] Kyubei
since the name change hurt his popularity.
[05:50] Shin
Who are you talking about?
[05:52] Otae
A lucky name?
[05:54] Otae
How about Jugem?
[05:56] Shin
What's that?
[05:57] Otae
It's a way of wishing for someone to have a long life.
SIGN Jugem
[06:02] Kyubei
Oh, he likes it, Tae-chan.
[06:03] Gin
What the hell?
[06:04] Gin
He still throws shit when he agrees?
[06:06] Gin
And why am I always the target?
[06:07] Gin
I have a feeling he just doesn't like me.
[06:10] Gin
Let's call him Shit-Tosser!
[06:12] Kyubei
If it brings luck, it'll work.
[06:15] Shin
It'll bring a lot more than luck. That's for sure.
[06:18] Shin
The name's not subtle enough.
[06:20] Shin
We should try for something that's more fluid.
[06:22] Kagura
Runny Diarrhea?
[06:24] Shin
That's not what I meant!
[06:25] Shin
I didn't mean that the poop should be more fluid!
[06:27] Shin
I was saying that we should try for a name
[06:28] ---
that flows better and isn't so obvious!
[06:30] Gin
Hey! Now he's throwing shit that's more fluid!
[06:32] Gin
Do something about this!
[06:34] Otae
Isn't so obvious...
[06:35] Otae
Oh, then...
[06:37] Otae
How about Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear?
[06:39] Shin
They were dirty?!
[06:41] Shin
Why are you telling everybody this?!
[06:44] Kagura
That would be mean.
[06:46] Kagura
Let's just name him Shinpachi's Sorry Life.
[06:49] Shin
Now you're making it sound like I'm covered in shit!
[06:53] Gin
Hey! Enough already!
[06:55] Gin
I'm the one who's covered in shit!
[06:57] Kyubei
I see.
[06:58] Kyubei
Then let's go with Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the Life of
[07:01] Kyubei
Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear Runny Diarrhea.
[07:05] Shin
That's long!
[07:06] Shin
Why did you combine them all?!
[07:08] Kyubei
Well, everybody was helping me brainstorm.
[07:11] Kyubei
And it can't hurt to have too many lucky names.
[07:14] Shin
None of those are lucky names!
[07:15] Shin
Most of them involve poop in one form or another!
[07:17] Kyubei
However, this name may be lucky, but it lacks class.
[07:21] Kyubei
We should try to make his name something that is more socially acceptable.
[07:24] Shin
You want to keep going?!
[07:25] Shin
It'll be damn hard to turn that into something socially acceptable!
[07:27] Shin
It'd be like turning the last boss into the hero!
[07:30] Shin
That Runny Diarrhea part will be the hardest to spin!
[07:33] Shin
You don't have any chance of finding a hero
[07:36] ---
that can add class to that name!
SIGN Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the Life of Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear Runny Diarrhea
[07:38] Shin
We'll need a really cool name to make it work!
[07:40] Kagura
How about Balmung Fezalion?
[07:43] Shin
That's so juvenile!
[07:45] Shin
This is supposed to be the name of a monkey!
[07:47] Kagura
Balmung Fezalion.
[07:49] Kagura
Also known as the Black Wind.
[07:50] Kagura
Captain of the Fakinaway dark knights.
[07:52] Kagura
He is normally a composed person,
[07:54] Kagura
but when his comrades are in trouble,
[07:56] Kagura
he loses sight of his surroundings and goes berserk.
[07:57] Kagura
A minus.
[07:58] Kagura
His dreaded enemy, the Demon Emperor Runny Diarrhea, is his father.
[08:01] Kagura
A third eye appears on his forehead when his true powers awaken.
[08:04] Kagura
Later became the Brutal Emperor Kaiser Fakinaway.
[08:06] Shin
Who are you talking about?!
[08:07] Shin
Nobody's asked to...
[08:09] Kagura
His ultimate attack is Dark Fakinaway.
[08:11] Kagura
It only works when his third eye is open.
[08:13] Kagura
Hell Fakinaway.
[08:14] Kagura
It only works when it's that time.
[08:16] Shin
Why are there commands for his ultimate attacks?!
[08:18] Shin
And when is that time?!
[08:20] Otae
He sounds pretty cool,
[08:21] ---
but he seems to be depending too much on Fakinaway.
[08:24] Shin
Uh, that has nothing to do with his name!
[08:27] Otae
And it's not very lucky to rely on the powers of darkness.
[08:32] Shin
Nobody's using any powers of darkness!
[08:34] Shin
They don't exist!
[08:35] Otae
How does this sound?
[08:38] Otae
Issac Schneider.
[08:40] Otae
Also known as the Prince of Light.
[08:41] Otae
Balmung's younger twin brother.
[08:43] Otae
While his brother was abandoned at young age,
[08:45] ---
Issac was able to live in comfort.
[08:46] Otae
He realizes his father's dark intentions
[08:48] Otae
and achieves peace with Balmung after the Ragnarok Shepherd War.
[08:52] Otae
Then they form a band, which is now known as B'z.
[08:54] Shin
Now known as B'z, my ass!
[08:56] Shin
Stop lying through your teeth!
[08:58] Shin
Why would they ignore their father's evil and start a band?!
[09:01] Otae
Special card ability:
[09:03] Otae
Bad Communication.
[09:04] Otae
Return all opponent's attack cards to their hands.
[09:06] Otae
My selfish love won't let met me hurt you.
[09:09] Otae
My selfish love destroys all cards that aren't Matsumoto.
[09:12] Shin
Hey!
[09:13] Shin
Is this supposed to be a card game or a fighting game?!
[09:16] Kagura
You're awesome, boss lady!
[09:17] Kagura
You've helped to turn Balmung back to the side of light!
[09:20] Shin
Are you sure?!
[09:21] Shin
Are you sure she didn't just turn him into a band member?!
[09:23] Kyubei
Yes, the threat of Runny Diarrhea has been avoided.
[09:26] Shin
The hell it has!
[09:27] Shin
They ignored it!
[09:28] Shin
They ignored it and started B'z instead!
[09:31] Kyubei
Okay, time to get serious.
[09:33] Kyubei
What should we try next?
[09:34] Shin
You still want to continue?
[09:36] Shin
His name is too long already.
[09:38] Otae
Yes, let's try...
[09:41] Kyubei
Okay, finished.
[09:43] Kyubei
Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the
[09:45] Kyubei
Life of Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear
[09:48] Kyubei
Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider
[09:50] Kyubei
1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety
[09:54] Kyubei
Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really
[09:57] Kyubei
Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish...
[10:00] Kyubei
This Is a Different Dogfish, I'm Talking About The Dogfish Shark
[10:02] Kyubei
Kaluga Angler Ray
[10:03] Kyubei
Yuuteimiyaoukimukou Pepepepepepepepepepepepe
[10:08] Kyubei
Runny Diarrhea.
[10:09] Shin
That's frickin' long!
[10:10] Shin
And it turned into a game of Shiritori halfway through!
[10:13] Shin
And look at the last part!
[10:15] Shin
That's just a Spell of Resurrection!
[10:17] Shin
What happened to all that talk about class?
[10:20] Kyubei
A true name represents the name of your soul.
[10:22] Kyubei
If someone were to learn your true name,
[10:23] ---
they would have free reign over your soul.
[10:26] Kyubei
But since your name is this long,
[10:27] ---
nobody will be able to profane your soul.
[10:30] Kyubei
Isn't that wonderful,
[10:31] Kyubei
Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the
[10:33] Kyubei
Life of Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear
[10:36] Kyubei
Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider
[10:38] Kyubei
1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety
[10:42] Kyubei
Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really
[10:45] Kyubei
Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish...
[10:48] Kyubei
This Is a Different Dogfish, I'm Talking About The Dogfish Shark
[10:50] Kyubei
Kaluga Angler Ray
[10:51] Kyubei
Yuuteimiyaoukimukou Pepepepepepepepepepepepe
[10:55] Kyubei
Runny Diarrhea.
[10:56] Shin
It's frickin' long!
[10:57] Shin
It's obviously too frickin' long!
[10:58] Shin
You just ate up thirty seconds!
[11:00] Otae
The road ahead will be tough, so hang in there.
[11:03] Otae
Let her take good care of you,
[11:04] Otae
Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing
[11:06] Otae
the Life of Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear
[11:08] Otae
Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider 1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail...
[11:12] Shin
Enough! Enough already!
[11:13] Shin
You don't have to say his entire name!
[11:16] Kagura
Don't spend all your time throwing poop around,
[11:18] Kagura
Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the
[11:20] Kagura
Life of Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear
[11:22] Kagura
Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider 1/3...
[11:24] Shin
Hey! Cut that out!
[11:26] Shin
We aren't going to get anywhere like this!
[11:28] Shin
And you guys have really good memories!
[11:29] Kyubei
Thank you, everyone.
[11:31] Kyubei
I will raise him to be a celebrity monkey!
[11:34] Kyubei
Let's go, Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the Life...
[11:36] Shin
Leave already!
[11:38] Shin
Please leave already!
[11:40] Shin
W-Was it really such a good idea
[11:42] ---
to give him that long-ass name?
[11:45] Otae
I'm sure that Kyu-chan will be fine with
[11:47] Otae
Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the
[11:48] Otae
Life of Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear
[11:50] Otae
Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider
[11:52] Otae
1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety
[11:56] Otae
Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really
[11:59] Otae
Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish...
[12:01] Shin
Enough!
SIGN Otae-chan Love
[14:19] Tojo
They're incredibly close.
[14:21] Tojo
She treats him like her own little brother.
[14:26] Tojo
Dammit!
[14:29] Tojo
How could I, Ayumu Tojo, be foolish enough to let a monkey one-up me?!
[14:33] Tojo
Before he came, I was always the one at my lady's side!
[14:37] Gin
More like you were always watching her from the shadows.
[14:39] Tojo
I was the one meant to rest upon her shoulder like a chirping bird!
[14:43] Gin
More like you were meant to rest in a soapland.
[14:46] Tojo
My only refuge is in the corner
[14:47] ---
of the loft next to a sliding shower curtain ring!
[14:50] Tojo
I'm like a leftover sliding shower curtain ring!
[14:53] Tojo
The curtain has no room for me!
[14:55] Tojo
But when it slides left or right, I still get pushed along!
[14:57] Tojo
Sliding between the dojo and the loft!
[14:59] Tojo
I'm like a sliding ring that slides until it dies!
[15:03] Tojo
I'm sliding!
[15:04] Tojo
But it's a slidin' shame!
[15:06] Tojo
'Cause I slide!
[15:07] Gin
Enough with the slidin' already!
[15:09] Gin
Why did you come here?!
[15:12] Gin
Nothing's changed at all!
[15:14] Gin
Go slide yourself off in a soapland!
[15:16] Shin
That's right.
[15:17] Shin
How can you be jealous of a monkey?
[15:20] Shin
And this is a good experience for Kyubei-san.
[15:24] Shin
You were the one who wanted her to act more like a girl.
[15:27] Kagura
That's right! Kyu-chan's never looked like this before!
[15:31] Tojo
Shut up!
[15:32] Tojo
What would you know?!
[15:35] Tojo
In that case, tell me this!
[15:37] Tojo
A monkey's ass looks cute in anime,
[15:41] Tojo
but in real life, it's all rough and gross!
[15:44] Tojo
It's damn sick!
[15:46] Shin
What is he even talking about?
[15:48] Tojo
When I think about how that filthy ass
[15:50] ---
has been rubbing up against the lady's shoulder,
[15:52] Tojo
I just... I just...
[15:55] Tojo
Feel so jealous.
[15:57] Gin
Hey, Kagura. Make his ass all rough and gross.
[16:01] Tojo
That hurts!
[16:03] Tojo
Hey, this isn't funny!
[16:05] Tojo
I'm sorry! Forgive me!
[16:06] Tojo
Not there!
[16:08] Tojo
Regardless, I long to turn that monkey into monkey soup.
[16:12] Tojo
However, he is a member of the shogun's family.
[16:15] Tojo
I can not lay a finger on him.
[16:17] Tojo
It pains me to admit this, but the monkey may
[16:19] ---
be having a positive effect on the lady.
[16:22] Tojo
But I haven't told her this yet...
[16:26] Tojo
I have bad news for her.
[16:28] Tojo
Though it's good news for me.
[16:31] Tojo
The shogun's family has requested the return of the monkey.
[16:36] Tojo
You heard that the monkey was supposed to be a gift to a relative, right?
[16:42] Tojo
Apparently, they've heard that the monkey has been trained,
[16:48] Tojo
so they have requested that the monkey be gifted to them.
[16:53] Kagura
I-It's not fair to ask for him now!
[16:55] Kagura
They're the ones who didn't want him!
[16:57] Tojo
But we knew this from the beginning.
[17:00] Tojo
They requested that we train the unruly beast.
[17:02] Shin
But Kyubei-san will be...
[17:04] Tojo
I wouldn't have been worried about the lady before.
[17:08] Tojo
But now that she's grown so attached to that monkey...
[17:12] Tojo
I beg you!
[17:13] Tojo
Could you please break this news to the lady?!
[17:17] Kagura
Huh?! How can you even ask such a thing?!
[17:20] Tojo
Because!
[17:21] Tojo
She'll hate me if I'm the one who tells her!
[17:23] Tojo
Lords Binbokusai and Koshinori are so mean!
[17:26] Tojo
They always give me the tough jobs!
[17:28] Tojo
If I tell her to return the monkey, she'll stop talking to me again!
[17:40] Kyubei
I see...
[17:42] Kyubei
They want their monkey back...
[17:45] Tojo
L-Lady...?
[17:47] Shin
Kyubei-san...
[17:52] Kyubei
I am relieved.
[17:53] Kyubei
I was able to fulfill my duty.
[17:57] Tojo
Huh?
[17:58] Kyubei
Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the
SIGN Fast Forward
[18:00] Kyubei
Life of Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear
[18:02] Kyubei
Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider
[18:04] Kyubei
1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety
[18:07] Kyubei
Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really
[18:09] Kyubei
Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish...
[18:12] Kyubei
This Is a Different Dogfish, I'm Talking About The Dogfish Shark
[18:13] Kyubei
Kaluga Angler Ray
[18:13] Kyubei
Yuuteimiyaoukimukou Pepepepepepepepepepepepe
[18:15] Kyubei
Runny Diarrhea will no longer cause trouble for anyone.
[18:19] Shin
Uh, that long-ass name could cause a lot of trouble.
[18:23] Kyubei
I've taught him to throw his poop into a toilet instead of at people.
[18:29] Gin
You might wanna teach him that I'm not a toilet.
[18:32] Kagura
But Kyu-chan, are you okay with parting with him?
[18:36] Kyubei
I don't see what the problem is.
[18:38] Kyubei
That was the job.
[18:40] Kyubei
I am his teacher, not his owner.
[18:45] Kyubei
My duty is to return him to the shogun once he's trained.
[18:56] Kyubei
This will be our last night together, but I can't let you sleep with me.
[19:01] Kyubei
Tomorrow, you'll be sleeping somewhere else.
[19:06] Kyubei
You need to get used to it.
[19:08] Kyubei
A celebrity samurai must be able to fall asleep in any location.
[19:20] Kyubei
Well, good night.
[19:29] Kagura
But they didn't even want him!
[19:32] Kagura
And now they change their minds?!
[19:34] Kagura
And you gave him a wonderful name and took such good care of him!
[19:39] Kagura
I'm sure that he'll miss you.
[19:44] Kyubei
I am simply following my orders from the Bakufu.
[19:49] Kyubei
I do not feel any particular affection for this monkey.
[19:59] Kyubei
Quiet. Go to sleep.
[20:04] Kyubei
Quiet.
[21:00] Kyubei
You don't need to feel sad.
[21:02] Kyubei
It doesn't matter if we're separated by a screen...
[21:06] Kyubei
Doesn't matter how far apart we are...
[21:10] Kyubei
I'll always be by your side,
[21:16] Kyubei
Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the Life of
[21:20] Kyubei
Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear
[21:23] Kyubei
Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider
[21:26] Kyubei
1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety
[21:30] Kyubei
Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really
[21:33] Kyubei
Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish...
[21:36] Kyubei
This Is a Different Dogfish, I'm Talking About The Dogfish Shark
[21:40] Kyubei
Kaluga Angler Ray
[21:40] Kyubei
Yuuteimiyaoukimukou Pepepepepepepepepepepepe
[21:44] Kyubei
Runny Diarrhea.
SIGN His name is so long that we'll have to continue this in the next episode.
SIGN Next Episode
[23:21] Tojo
D-Damn it all!
[23:22] Tojo
After that monkey toyed with the lady's feelings, he ran away!
[23:26] Tojo
How dare he abuse her kindness!
[23:28] Tojo
I'm so jealous!
[23:30] Kyubei
Shut up.
[23:30] Tojo
Yes, ma'am!
SIGN The Name Reveals the Person
[23:31] Kyubei
Next time:
[23:32] Kyubei
The name reveals the person.
[23:33] ---
E222 - "The name reveals the person"
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Kyubei
But there's one problem.
[00:02] Kyubei
This monkey doesn't have a name yet.
[00:05] Otae
How about Jugem?
[00:06] Gin
Let's call him Shit-Tosser!
[00:08] Kagura
Runny Diarrhea?
[00:09] Otae
How about Shin-chan's
Two-Day-Old Underwear?
[00:11] Kagura
Let's just name him
Shinpachi's Sorry Life.
[00:12] Kagura
How about Balmung Fezalion?
[00:14] Otae
Issac Schneider.
[00:15] Kyubei
Okay, finished.
[00:17] Shin
That's frickin' long!
[00:18] Tojo
I have bad news for her.
[00:20] Tojo
Though it's good news for me.
[00:23] Tojo
The shogun's family has requested
the return of the monkey.
[00:27] Kyubei
You don't need to feel sad.
[00:30] Kyubei
It doesn't matter how
far apart we are...
[00:33] Kyubei
I'll always be by your side.
[00:38] Kyubei
Take care.
SIGN The Name Reveals the Person
[03:26] Papa
T-T-T-T-T...
[03:29] Papa
Terrible news!
[03:31] Kyubei
Fa- Papa, is something wrong?
[03:34] Papa
That monkey ran away!
[03:38] Papa
How can this be?
[03:40] Papa
Now, the honor of the
Yagyu Family is in peril.
[03:44] Papa
Wait! Kyubei!
[03:47] Kyubei
The third squad will search
the area near the castle.
[03:50] Kyubei
The second squad should be
setting traps to capture it.
[03:53] Kyubei
Everyone else should head into
town and comb the streets.
[03:55] Kyubei
Understood?
[03:56] Kyubei
Don't forget your bananas and nets.
[03:57] All
Yes, ma'am!
[03:58] Kyubei
Move out!
[03:59] All
Yes, ma'am!
[04:02] Kyubei
Please be safe,
[04:03] Kyubei
Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the
[04:05] ---
Life of Shin-chan's
Two-Day-Old Underwear
[04:08] ---
Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider
[04:10] ---
1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety
[04:14] ---
Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really
[04:17] ---
Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish
Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish...
[04:20] ---
This Is a Different Dogfish,
[04:22] ---
I'm Talking About The Dogfish Shark
[04:23] ---
Kaluga Angler Ray
[04:24] ---
Yuuteimiyaoukimukou
Pepepepepepepepepepepepe
[04:27] ---
Runny Diarrhea.
SIGN Otae-chan Love
[04:42] Papa
There you are!
[04:45] Papa
Wait!
[04:47] Papa
Please wait!
[05:02] A
Found it!
[05:21] B
This is where the last
sighting took place.
[05:23] Kyubei
I see.
[05:25] Kyubei
Continue the search.
[05:27] Both
Yes, ma'am!
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[05:49] Shin
Kagura-chan, what are you doing?
[05:52] Kagura
Writing a proposal.
[05:54] Shin
A proposal?
[05:56] Kagura
Since this Odd Jobs business
isn't making any money,
[05:58] Kagura
I'm going to sell this idea to
Bandai Namco for a huge profit.
[06:02] Kagura
Then I can live the rest
of my life in comfort.
[06:05] Kagura
All done!
[06:08] Shin
Huh? What is this?
[06:10] Kagura
Record of Light and Dark: Fakinaway.
[06:13] Shin
Wait!
SIGN Record of Light and Dark: Fakinaway Trading Card Game Proposal
[06:14] Shin
You're going to continue
the joke from last week?!
[06:16] Kagura
This age of chaos begins with what is
[06:20] ---
later known as the
Ragnarok Shepherd War.
[06:22] Shin
Uh, what does that even mean?
[06:24] Shin
And what's about to begin?!
[06:25] Emperor
You have done well to
make it here, my son...
SIGN Balmung Fezalion
Also known as the Black Wind.
[06:29] Emperor
Balmung Fezalion!
SIGN Captain of the Fakinaway dark knights.
He is normally a composed person,
SIGN but when his comrades are in trouble,
he loses sight of his surroundings and goes berserk.
[06:31] Emperor
No, I should call you
the Black Wind now.
SIGN A minus. His dreaded enemy, the Demon
Emperor Runny Diarrhea, is his father.
SIGN A third eye appears on his forehead
when his true powers awaken.
[06:35] Balmung
Demon Emperor Runny Diarrhea!
SIGN Later becomes the Brutal
Emperor Kaiser Fakinaway.
[06:37] Balmung
It all ends today!
[06:39] Balmung
I will avenge my dark knights!
[06:43] Balmung
Right now!
[06:44] Balmung
I will put everything I
have into this strike!
[06:48] Balmung
Ultimate attack!
[06:49] Shin
The command still shows up?!
[06:51] Balmung
Hell Fakinaway!
[06:55] Shin
Uh, Kagura-chan?
[06:56] Shin
You can stop.
[06:57] Shin
How much longer until
this drivel is over?
[06:59] Kagura
We're about to get to the good part.
[07:02] Balmung
What?
[07:05] Emperor
You never realized that
the powers of darkness
[07:07] ---
I granted you could never
be used to defeat darkness?
[07:11] Emperor
Though the outcome may
have been different
[07:13] ---
if you had powers of light.
[07:17] Issac
Sorry to keep you waiting.
[07:19] Emperor
Y-You are...
SIGN Issac Schneider Also known as the Prince of Light.
[07:21] Emperor
The Prince of Light...
SIGN Balmung's younger twin brother.
[07:22] Emperor
Issac Schneider!
SIGN While his brother was abandoned at young age, Issac was able to live in comfort.
SIGN He realizes his father's dark intentions,
[07:24] Shin
The timing on his entrance
is a little too perfect!
SIGN and achieves peace with Balmung after the Ragnarok Shepherd War.
[07:26] Issac
Balmung, we will talk later.
[07:28] Issac
Right now, we must
focus on defeating him.
[07:32] Balmung
Hmph, don't expect me to thank you.
[07:35] Issac
Brother...
[07:37] Issac
Let's do this!
[07:39] Issac
Hey, hey give me your body,
[07:41] Issac
no, no, that's all I need.
[07:42] Issac
Kiss on my lips to shut it up!
[07:44] Issac
Don't touch me!
[07:46] Balmung
Hey, hey I don't anything!
[07:48] Issac
Any more about me,
[07:49] Both
wow, wow, wow, wow,
[07:51] Both
wow, wow, wow!
[07:53] Both
Bad communication!
[07:55] Otae
Then they form a band,
which is now known as B'z.
SIGN The End
[07:58] Shin
Hold on a second!
[08:00] Shin
That's how the story ends?!
[08:01] Shin
They're just going to
ignore their father?!
[08:03] Kagura
I had to suppress my
instincts and think hard
[08:05] ---
all night to come up with this ending.
[08:07] Shin
Don't act like you actually put
any thought into this crap!
[08:13] Shin
Yes, who is it?
[08:16] Shin
Tojo-san?
[08:18] Tojo
D-D-D-
[08:20] Tojo
Damn it all!
[08:22] Tojo
That monkey ran away after three days!
[08:26] Tojo
It's managed to run around the
city while evading all pursuit!
[08:30] Tojo
As a result, the Yagyu
family has been accused
[08:32] Tojo
of failing to properly train the monkey,
[08:35] Tojo
and every single member has been
forced to search for the monkey!
[08:39] Gin
I knew that would happen.
[08:42] Gin
The beast isn't going to listen
to anyone besides Kyubei.
[08:45] Kagura
Serves them right.
[08:47] Kagura
That's what happens when you take
someone's pet away from them.
[08:50] Tojo
This isn't the time to be gloating!
[08:53] Tojo
The lady has been
searching for the monkey
[08:55] ---
for the past three
days without any rest!
[08:57] Tojo
She's so worried that she's
barely eaten anything!
[09:02] Tojo
And if we can't find the monkey,
[09:05] ---
the lady will have to disembowel
herself as punishment!
[09:10] Shin
That sounds extreme for one monkey...
[09:13] Tojo
Yes, this is Tojo...
[09:13] Man
What are you doing?! Haven't
you found the monkey?!
[09:16] Tojo
I-I'm very sorry!
[09:18] Tojo
Please wait just a little longer!
[09:20] Man
Do you understand?!
[09:22] Man
That monkey was a gift from the shogun!
[09:24] Man
If anything happens, the responsibility
will lie with the Yagyu!
[09:28] Boy
Hey, Gramps.
[09:29] Boy
Did Goku come back yet?
[09:32] Man
Don't worry, young master.
[09:34] Man
Goku will be back very soon.
[09:37] Man
Hey! You hear me, Tojo?!
[09:39] Man
I'm sure that you know what
will happen if you fail!
[09:41] Tojo
Worry not.
[09:43] ---
I was able to secure
Shit-Tosser's favorite target.
[09:46] Tojo
Yes, if we use Shit-Tossed as bait,
[09:49] ---
Goku will come to throw
shit at him, yes.
[09:56] Gin
Hey, when you say Shit-Tossed,
you're referring to this, right?
[09:58] Gin
You don't mean me, right?
[09:59] Tojo
Please!
[10:01] Tojo
Think of this as a sacrifice
for the lady's sake!
[10:04] Gin
Bastard! You're going to use
me as a shit receptacle?!
SIGN Toilet
[10:07] Tojo
That monkey is obsessed
with throwing shit at you!
[10:11] Tojo
We can use that obsession
to draw him out!
[10:16] Tojo
You're going to just let the lady die?!
[10:20] Gin
You're going to let me
be covered in shit?!
[10:22] Kagura
Does it really matter?
[10:23] Kagura
It's not like you're losing anything.
[10:24] Gin
I'm losing something deep inside
that I can never have back!
[10:27] Kagura
You were always aloof like
the gas from a septic tank.
[10:32] Gin
Normally, you say that a
person is aloof like a cloud!
[10:34] Gin
How does that metaphor even work
with the gas from a septic tank?!
[10:37] Shin
Gin-san!
[10:38] Shin
Gin-san! Look!
[10:39] Shin
The shit's hit the fan!
SIGN Emergency Bulletin A large number of monkeys have escaped from the zoo!!
[10:41] Shin
A bunch of monkeys have
escaped from the zoo!
SIGN Emergency Bulletin Shocking! A monkey that can open a lock!!
[10:57] N
We bring you footage from
the security cameras.
[11:00] N
Watch as an unidentified animal
opens the door to the monkey cage.
[11:03] Tojo
It's him!
[11:05] Tojo
That monkey has released
all of those monkeys
[11:08] ---
into the city to interfere
with our search.
[11:11] Gin
That's impossible.
[11:12] Tojo
How can a mere animal be so clever?!
[11:16] Tojo
We won't be able to single it
out from that troop of monkeys!
[11:19] Tojo
It appears that you are our last hope!
[11:23] Tojo
The monkey that runs straight
here to throw shit at you
[11:26] ---
is the one we want!
[11:27] Gin
Hey! Hold on!
[11:28] Tojo
Monkey!
[11:29] Tojo
Show yourself!
[11:31] Tojo
I've brought your favorite
shit receptacle!
[11:34] Tojo
Now get your ass out here!
[11:35] Tojo
Unload your shit!
[11:44] Gin
Hey! What's going on?!
[11:46] Gin
All of the monkeys are aiming for me!
[11:50] Gin
What is this?!
[11:51] Gin
What do they think about me?!
[11:52] Gin
How do they see me?!
[11:54] Tojo
Was one of your ancestors
a crab, or perhaps Frieza?!
[11:57] Kagura
No, that's not it.
[11:58] Kagura
Gin-chan is descended from gas
[12:00] ---
that was expelled from Tripitaka's butt.
[12:02] Gin
That would be a fart!
[12:03] Gin
That would mean I was
descended from a fart!
[12:05] Shin
What do we do, Tojo-san?!
[12:06] Shin
We'll be covered in shit before
we can pick out the correct one!
[12:10] Tojo
Let's use Odd Jobs' extensive
network to create a perimeter.
[12:14] Tojo
Tell them to set up in locations
around Edo, use bananas as bait,
[12:16] ---
and call his name!
[12:18] Gin
We're going to fall back on
the oldest trick in the book?
[12:20] Tojo
We can make it work if
we have the numbers!
[12:23] Katsura
What?
[12:23] ---
A monkey that has a
bell around its neck?
[12:26] Katsura
And its name is...
[12:27] Gin
Uh, it's Jugem Jugem Poop-Tossing...
[12:30] Kagura
You got it wrong.
[12:31] Kagura
It's Shit-Tossing.
[12:32] Gin
Oh, what she said.
[12:34] Madao
Uh, Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the
[12:36] ---
Life of Shin-chan's
One-Day-Old Underwear...
[12:39] Madao
Huh, not one-day-old?
[12:43] Madao
Wait, which is it?
[12:44] Gin
When did he get shit on his underwear?
[12:46] Kagura
Just say it was today.
[12:47] Shin
I don't have any shit
on my underwear today!
[12:48] Okita
Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing
[12:50] ---
the Life of Shin-chan's
Two-Day-Old Underwear
[12:53] ---
Balmung Fezalion Issac Slicer...
[12:56] Okita
Huh? Schneider?
[12:57] Okita
It's Balmung Schneider?
[12:59] Okita
No?
[13:00] Okita
Oh, you mean Issac?
[13:02] Okita
Huh?
[13:03] Okita
Right, so when did Shin-chan
get shit on his underwear?
[13:06] Gin
Uh, when was it?
[13:08] Kagura
Just say it was tomorrow.
[13:09] Shin
How am I getting shit
on my future underwear?!
[13:11] Tsukiyo
Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the
[13:13] ---
Life of Shin-chan's
Two-Day-Old Underwear
[13:16] ---
Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider
[13:18] ---
2/3 True Love 1/3 Hangnail Anxiety...
[13:23] Tsukiyo
What?
[13:24] Tsukiyo
1/3 True Love?
[13:26] Tsukiyo
What about the other two thirds?
[13:28] Tsukiyo
Hold on, um...
[13:30] Tsukiyo
When did the underwear get dirty?
[13:33] Gin
It's always dirty, I'd say.
[13:34] Shin
Cut it out!
[13:36] Shin
Give me the damn phone!
[13:37] Shin
Now, you've got it wrong.
[13:38] Shin
It's Squid Dogfish Halibut
Trout-Cod Dogfish.
[13:41] Shin
Yes, but This Is a Different Dogfish!
[13:44] Shin
No! You're missing a pe!
[13:46] Shin
Pepepepepepepe...
[13:47] Shin
This will never work!
[13:49] Shin
Most of the questions are about
the shit on my underwear!
[13:52] Shin
How are we supposed to tell
people this long-ass name?!
[13:55] Shin
That's why I said we
should make it shorter!
[13:57] Shin
What do we do now?!
[13:58] Shin
We can't draw it out!
[13:59] Tojo
Yes.
[14:00] Tojo
What? Is that true?
[14:01] Tojo
Thank you so much!
[14:03] ---
I don't know how to thank you.
[14:05] Tojo
I appreciate the help!
[14:08] Tojo
Rejoice!
[14:09] Tojo
Katsura-dono just told me that
he's captured the monkey!
[14:12] Shin
Huh?
[14:13] Tojo
You have such amazing friends!
[14:15] Tojo
He dispatched someone to
bring the monkey here.
[14:19] Shin
Really?!
[14:20] Shin
I don't see how he was
able to remember the name.
[14:21] Kagura
Ah, Elizabeth!
[14:23] Kagura
Is that it?
SIGN Balmung Fezalion Also known as the Black Wind.
[14:25] Kagura
There's a bell on his neck.
[14:27] Shin
Wait a sec! Isn't that
Balmung Fezalion?!
[14:30] Shin
How did they find him?!
[14:32] Shin
And he's real?!
[14:33] Shin
Why would a banana work as
bait for a dark knight?!
[14:36] Kagura
It's Balmung!
[14:38] Kagura
Later becomes the Brutal
Emperor Kaiser Fakinaway!
[14:41] Gin
Seriously, how did he
mistake that for a monkey?
[14:44] Gin
What do we do?
[14:46] Gin
This is bad.
[14:47] Gin
Balmung's glaring at us.
[14:49] Gin
His third eye is glaring at us, too.
[14:51] Kagura
Oh no!
[14:52] Kagura
Once his third eye is open,
[14:53] ---
it will bring another
Catastrophe of Sephiroth!
[14:55] Gin
Hey! Somebody apologize to him!
[14:57] Gin
Go tell him we got the wrong guy
[14:58] Gin
before he starts the
Catastrophe of Sephiroth!
[15:00] Balmung
Hell Fakinaway!
[15:02] Gin
Oh, shit!
[15:02] Gin
He's going to use Hell Fakinaway!
[15:04] Gin
That's bad! Hell Fakinaway is bad!
[15:09] Shin
You're also gonna throw shit?!
[15:11] Shin
Balmung is throwing shit at us!
[15:14] Shin
Balmung is throwing a
shitload of shit at us!
[15:16] Gin
That wasn't Hell Fakinaway!
[15:18] Gin
He's no different from those monkeys!
[15:20] Issac
Wait!
SIGN Issac Schneider
Also known as the Prince of Light.
[15:22] Issac
Enough of this.
[15:24] Shin
Th-That's...!
[15:25] Shin
Issac Schneider!
[15:27] Shin
Hasegawa-san brought
us the Prince of Light
[15:29] ---
who was able to turn Balmung
back to the side of light!
[15:31] Madao
Everything's okay.
[15:33] Shin
Whew, they're going to
talk things through.
[15:36] Shin
Now we can relax...
[15:37] Both
Here's our...
[15:39] Both
Bad Communication!
[15:40] Shin
What kind of shit are
you trying to pull?!
[15:43] Gin
Issac is just a monkey!
[15:45] Shin
And why is Hasegawa-san throwing shit?!
[15:48] Shin
What kind of Bad Communication is this?!
[15:52] Kagura
Gin-chan!
[15:54] Kagura
We've been surrounded
by so many monkeys!
[16:00] Gin
Hey! Somebody do something!
[16:08] Shin
Th-This is...?
[16:10] Kyubei
Tojo, everyone...
[16:12] Kyubei
Thank you for serving as decoys.
[16:15] Kyubei
We were able to capture
all of the monkeys.
[16:18] Shin
Kyubei-san!
[16:19] Gin
Monkeys, huh?
[16:20] Gin
There were three idiots mixed in there.
[16:23] Kid
Wow! So many!
[16:25] Kid
So many monkeys!
[16:26] Man
Hmph, took you long enough.
[16:29] Man
Is the young master's monkey in there?
[16:31] Kyubei
Yes, most likely.
[16:33] Man
But we won't be able to
identify which one is his.
[16:36] Man
What do we do?
[16:37] Kyubei
Look for a bell.
[16:38] ---
He should be the only one that's wearing a bell.
[16:44] Man
Curses!
[16:45] Man
Clever little rascal.
[16:47] Man
Goku, you don't want to be my pet?
[16:51] Man
You don't like me?
[16:55] Kagura
That's not the problem.
[17:00] Kagura
It's just that there's
someone who he doesn't want
[17:02] ---
to be separated from, who
he loves more than you.
[17:05] Shin
Kagura-chan!
[17:06] Man
Little girl!
[17:07] ---
How dare you insult Lord Mori Mori?!
[17:10] Man
Let me educate you!
[17:12] Man
This is the nephew of the Shogun, Lord Shige Shige...
[17:15] Kid
Shut up, Gramps!
[17:16] Man
Y-Yes...
[17:19] Kid
Is that true, Yagyu guy?
[17:21] Kyubei
Huh?
[17:22] Kyubei
Uh, well...
[17:25] Kid
That means I took Goku away
from someone he cares about.
[17:31] Kid
No wonder he ran away.
[17:35] Kid
Sorry, Goku.
[17:37] Kid
I'm always stuck inside the castle,
[17:39] ---
so I never had any friends to play with.
[17:42] Kid
So when I saw Soyo-chan's monkey,
[17:44] ---
I got really jealous.
[17:48] Kid
I just wanted to be your friend.
[17:52] Kid
But I ended up taking you
away from your friend.
[17:56] Kid
I'm sorry.
[18:01] Kyubei
Lord Mori Mori, please stop crying.
[18:05] Kyubei
He doesn't hate you,
[18:08] ---
and he isn't unwilling
to be your friend.
[18:13] Kyubei
That's not the problem.
[18:16] Kyubei
But his name...
[18:18] Kyubei
He has a wonderful name
that carries the hopes and
[18:22] ---
dreams that were given
to him by his friends.
[18:25] Kyubei
Will you call his name with me?
[18:28] Kyubei
Ready and...
[18:30] Kyubei
Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the
[18:32] ---
Life of Shin-chan's
Two-Day-Old Underwear
[18:35] ---
Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider
[18:37] ---
1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety
[18:41] ---
Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really
[18:45] ---
Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish
Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish...
[18:48] ---
This Is a Different Dogfish,
[18:50] ---
I'm Talking About The Dogfish Shark
[18:51] ---
Kaluga Angler Ray
[18:52] ---
Yuuteimiyaoukimukou
Pepepepepepepepepepepepe
[18:55] ---
Runny Diarrhea.
[18:57] Shin
Yeah, he can't say that.
[18:58] Shin
He can't say that.
[18:59] Shin
Lord Mori Mori can't say that.
[19:10] Kid
Diarrhea...
[19:13] Kid
Jugem Genome Barbossa Fanta
Pipipipipipipi Barf Diarrhea!
[19:17] Shin
He made up a name!
[19:18] Shin
Lord Mori Mori couldn't remember
the name so he made one up!
[19:20] Kid
I'm sorry!
[19:22] Kid
I'm sorry about what I did!
[19:23] Kid
I'm sorry about getting your name wrong!
[19:33] Kid
Here you go, Yagyu guy.
[19:36] Man
Lord Mori Mori?!
[19:38] Kid
It's okay.
[19:39] Kid
I don't want to see my friends look sad,
[19:43] Kid
whether it's Barf Diarrhea
[19:45] Kid
or the Yagyu guy.
[19:47] Kid
Besides, I can't remember
such a long name yet.
[19:58] Kid
In return...
[20:00] Kid
Uh, Yagyu guy... I have a favor to ask.
[20:04] Kyubei
What is it?
[20:06] Kid
Uh, could you let me add to his name?
[20:14] Kyubei
Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the
[20:17] ---
Life of Shin-chan's
Two-Day-Old Underwear
[20:20] ---
Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider
[20:23] ---
1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety
[20:28] ---
Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really
[20:32] ---
Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish
Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish...
[20:35] ---
This Is a Different Dogfish,
[20:37] ---
I'm Talking About The Dogfish Shark
[20:39] ---
Kaluga Angler Ray
[20:39] ---
Yuuteimiyaoukimukou
Pepepepepepepepepepepepe
[20:44] ---
All's Well That Ends
Well Runny Diarrhea.
SIGN The End
SIGN Ask Mr. Ginpachi
[22:26] Gin
Ask Mr. Ginpachi...
[22:29] All
...is back!
[22:31] Gin
Okay, we have a little time
leftover so I'll read a postcard.
[22:35] Gin
From someone with the pen name
"Okita-kun Love Pudding."
[22:39] Gin
I have a question.
[22:40] Gin
Couldn't you write out
Odd Jobs with two kanji?
[22:44] Gin
Why do you use three?
[22:48] Gin
Please tell me why.
[22:49] Gin
Okay, here's your answer.
[22:52] Gin
Originally, it was just two kanji,
[22:55] Gin
but people might mistake us for some
[22:57] ---
kind of general store
that sells everything.
[23:00] Gin
We're supposed to be a bunch of people
[23:02] ---
who are willing to do everything.
[23:03] Gin
So we added the extra
kanji to differentiate.
[23:08] Gin
Well, the result is that
[23:09] ---
our various guests keep reading
it wrong in the script.
[23:14] Gin
I should mention that a lot of
people also read Amanto wrong.
SIGN Next Episode
[23:20] Katsura
The maid was watching
[23:22] Katsura
when the man who is feared
as the Destroyer of Edo
[23:24] ---
revealed his true nature.
[23:25] Katsura
A shocking truth about the father...
[23:29] Matsu
Next time:
SIGN The Man's Household Situation is Hard, His Heart is Soft
[23:29] Matsu
The man's household situation
is hard, his heart is soft.
[23:33] ---
E223 - "The man's household situation is hard, his heart is soft."
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Matsu
Nakasaki, I heard you just had a kid.
[00:04] Nakazaki
Uh, where did you hear that?
[00:06] Matsu
Is it male or female?
[00:08] Nakazaki
It's a girl.
[00:09] Matsu
Maybe I should take her.
[00:11] Nakazaki
P-Please don't...
[00:13] Matsu
Girls become independent
earlier than boys.
[00:16] Matsu
It won't be long before she
stops listening to you.
[00:20] Nakazaki
Th-That won't happen with Fuko!
[00:22] Nakazaki
I will raise her to be the
biggest father lover in Japan!
[00:25] Matsu
Yeah, that's the spirit.
[00:27] Nakazaki
Th-This is...
[00:28] Nakazaki
I-I can't accept this much money!
[00:30] Matsu
It's not for you.
[00:33] Matsu
I only spend money on fine women.
[00:35] Matsu
Let her drink the finest
milk you can find.
[00:40] Nakazaki
Th-Thank you very much!
SIGN The Man's Household Situation is Hard, His Heart is Soft
[02:18] Kuriko
How many times have I told you?!
[02:21] Kuriko
Wash my underwear
separately from Father's!
[02:25] Zura
Forgive me, ma'am.
[02:27] Kuriko
I'm going to wash them again myself!
[02:30] Kuriko
Geez!
[02:34] Zura
Oh, sir.
[02:36] Zura
I'm terribly sorry.
[02:38] Zura
I'll wash that again at once.
[02:39] Matsu
Hm? Are you the new maid?
[02:42] Matsu
What's your name?
SIGN Ichihara
[02:44] Matsu
Ichihara?
[02:45] Matsu
What's your first name?
[02:46] Matsu
Hayato? Etsuko?
[02:48] Zura
It's not Etsuko, it's Ezurako.
[02:51] Matsu
Your face looks familiar...
[02:53] Zura
It's not Zura, it's Ezurako.
[02:56] Matsu
Forget it.
[02:57] Matsu
Be careful from now on.
[02:58] Matsu
Do my laundry separate from Kuriko's.
[03:01] Matsu
And make sure we don't
eat at the same time.
[03:03] Zura
It's not Zura, it's Ezurako.
[03:05] Matsu
Yeah, just listen to
my daughter. Got it,
[03:08] Matsu
Ezurako?
[03:10] Zura
It's not Ezurako, it's Katsura.
[03:11] Matsu
What?
[03:14] Zura
Oh, I made a mistake. It's Ezurako.
[03:16] Matsu
Whatever. Just go.
[03:18] Matsu
Oof.
[03:22] Zura
The police commissioner,
Katakuriko Matsudaira.
[03:25] Zura
The man who is known as the Destroyer
[03:28] ---
to those who wish to
disrupt the order of Edo.
[03:31] Zura
The greatest foe of the Joi patriots.
[03:34] Zura
In an attempt to uncover a scandal,
[03:36] Zura
I've been working undercover
at his home for a week.
[03:38] Zura
My focus has shifted away from my
inability to learn anything useful
[03:44] Zura
to this peculiar loneliness I see.
[03:46] Zura
Is this what it means to be a father?
[03:49] Zura
If so, what is a father? What is a man?
[03:52] Zura
Who does he fight for? Who
is he trying to protect?
[04:04] Kuriko
Um...
[04:05] Kuriko
What are you doing, Ezurako-san?
[04:09] Zura
I'm terribly sorry.
[04:12] Zura
After working as a maid for so long,
[04:14] ---
I've picked up this
habit of eavesdropping.
[04:16] Kuriko
You also picked up the door.
[04:19] Zura
Please let me know if
I'm being a bother.
[04:21] Zura
I also have a graffiti version
and a mental AT Field version.
[04:26] Kuriko
Please get rid of it.
[04:27] Kuriko
You're making too much noise.
[04:30] Kuriko
Um...
[04:31] Kuriko
Sorry about yelling at you earlier.
[04:36] Zura
It's okay. I didn't mind.
[04:38] Kuriko
I said to get rid of that.
[04:39] Kuriko
Did you think you could fool me?
[04:41] Kuriko
Um, to make up for earlier,
[04:44] Kuriko
some of my friends booked
[04:47] ---
Greater Edo Hills tomorrow
for my birthday party.
[04:51] Kuriko
Would you like to come?
[04:54] Zura
Thank you very much.
[04:56] Zura
Oh, will your father also be coming?
[04:58] Kuriko
I would never invite him!
[05:00] Kuriko
Besides, he wouldn't come if I did.
[05:05] Kuriko
His birthday is very soon.
[05:07] Kuriko
I'm sure he'll celebrate it
[05:10] ---
at the usual place with all those women.
[05:13] Kuriko
It's always the same.
[05:15] Kuriko
He uses his work as an excuse
to avoid facing his family.
[05:21] Kuriko
I refuse to call that coward my father.
[05:28] Katsura
I wonder why...
[05:29] Katsura
I am starting to feel concern
for my greatest foe.
[05:33] Katsura
Is it because Matsudaira's daughter
was a nicer girl than I expected?
[05:40] Katsura
Or because I didn't want
to think that I've been
[05:43] Katsura
crossing swords with a man who
can't control his own family.
[05:47] Katsura
Sir?
[05:49] Katsura
Miss Kuriko's birthday
party is tomorrow.
[05:52] Katsura
You shouldn't be sleeping out here.
[05:53] Matsu
Man, I'm gonna hurl...
[05:56] Katsura
Miss Kuriko wanted you to come.
[05:59] Matsu
You're going to Kuriko's
birthday party, right?
[06:04] Matsu
Give that to her.
[06:06] Matsu
It'll make her happier that way.
[06:10] Katsura
Are you trying to teach her how men
[06:13] ---
are foolish, weak, and underhanded?
[06:18] Katsura
Is that your duty as a father?
[06:20] Nakazaki
Ezurako-san, that's enough!
[06:23] Nakazaki
And why are you walking
around with that board?!
[06:25] Matsu
It's fine, Nakasaki.
[06:29] Matsu
I like a maid who's willing
to speak her mind.
[06:32] Matsu
But I'm not much of a father.
[06:36] Matsu
Young people think
that men grow wiser as
[06:39] ---
they get older, but it's not true.
[06:43] Matsu
I'm just as stupid as I always was.
[06:45] Matsu
Still the same old shy kid who
can't bring myself to look
[06:51] Matsu
my precious daughter in the face,
or even talk to her.
[06:56] Matsu
I'll leave this with you.
[06:59] Zura
I was becoming more confused.
[07:01] Zura
The man spoke openly
of his own foolishness.
[07:05] Zura
Was he a big shot, or just an idiot?
[07:08] Matsu
F-Forgive me, dear!
[07:08] Zura
Crafty or innocent?
[07:11] Zura
And I was most confused
by my own behavior.
[07:18] A
Um, excuse me.
[07:20] A
You're supposed to be dressed
formally for this affair.
[07:22] Zura
And that is what I did.
[07:25] A
Um, only the left side
is dressed formally.
[07:28] A
And that's just a drawing.
[07:31] Zura
Ah, you have a problem
with me wearing a tuxedo?
[07:33] Zura
Don't worry. I also brought a dress.
[07:36] A
Um...
[07:37] A
We're not supposed to let
anyone suspicious in.
[07:40] Zura
What about me would be
considered suspicious?!
[07:42] A
Everything.
[07:43] Zura
How dare you insult me?!
[07:46] Zura
Are celebrities so special?!
[07:49] Zura
Your birthday party's probably
nothing more than an gy!
[07:52] A**
How can you say such a hateful thing?!
[07:54] Zura
A sinful gathering where you wear masks
[07:58] Zura
and put things on your sticks,
and shove them into...
[08:02] A
That's just a cheese fondue!
[08:04] Zura
Don't say that so loudly here.
[08:07] Zura
Have you no shame?!
[08:09] A
You're the one who's
having naughty thoughts
[08:11] ---
about a cheese fondue!
[08:12] Nakazaki
Oh, sorry.
[08:15] Nakazaki
She's with me.
[08:17] Katsura
Ah, Nakasaki-san.
[08:19] Nakazaki
I'm here in place of the commissioner.
[08:21] Zura
I see...
[08:23] Zura
So he isn't coming.
[08:24] Kuriko
Ah! Ezurako-san! Nakasaki-san!
[08:27] Kuriko
You came to the party!
[08:29] Kuriko
I'm so happy!
[08:31] Kuriko
Now come inside!
[08:41] Nakazaki
What is this?!
[08:42] Nakazaki
What's happening?!
[08:44] Nakazaki
Did the system malfunction?!
[08:46] Zura
No...
[08:53] Zura
It's a terrorist attack.
SIGN Incoming Call from Kuriko
[08:56] Matsu
Hello?
[08:58] Leader
Is this Katakuriko Matsudaira?
[09:00] Leader
Your daughter's life is in our hands.
[09:03] Leader
The Blues Crew has taken
control of Greater Edo Hills.
[09:08] Leader
If you value your daughter's life,
[09:10] ---
you'll listen to our demands.
[09:14] Leader
Hey, can you hear me?
[09:16] A
Is somebody in there?
[09:18] A
That's weird. It sure stinks.
[09:27] Matsu
Can't you let a man
take a dump in peace?
[09:34] Nakazaki
What?
[09:35] Zura
That's...
[09:39] Nakazaki
Th-The commissioner!
[09:42] Zura
So he did come.
[09:44] Nakazaki
What are you doing up there?!
[09:49] Matsu
I appreciate it, Ezurako.
[09:51] Matsu
Thanks to you, I won't be late.
[09:55] Nakazaki
Wh-Where are you going, Commissioner?!
[09:59] Zura
That was no longer the frail back
[10:01] ---
of an old man washing underwear.
[10:03] Zura
That was the stalwart back
of the Destroyer we feared.
[10:12] Yamazaki
The hostages include the children of
[10:14] ---
various Bakufu officials
along with Kuriko-chan.
[10:17] Yamazaki
The Blues Crew must have learned about
[10:20] ---
this party and planned the attack.
[10:23] Hijikata
I remember that some of
their members were arrested
[10:27] Hijikata
for plotting to assassinate the boss.
[10:29] Yamazaki
They're demanding that
those members be released.
[10:31] Yamazaki
And they also want the boss's head.
[10:34] Yamazaki
If we don't agree to their demands,
[10:36] Yamazaki
they'll start killing a
hostage every thirty minutes.
[10:39] Hijikata
I'll go negotiate and
try to buy us some time.
[10:43] Hijikata
You guys need to find a way inside.
[10:45] All
Yes, sir!
[10:47] Hijikata
And Yamazaki,
[10:48] Hijikata
did you get a hold of the boss?
[10:50] Yamazaki
His phone's been busy the whole time.
[10:53] Hijikata
Damn that old fart.
[10:55] Hijikata
What's he doing?
[10:57] Matsu
Hello? Ane-chan?
[11:00] Matsu
Sorry.
[11:01] Matsu
I won't be able to join you tonight.
[11:03] Matsu
Right now? I'm in a duct.
[11:05] Matsu
No, I didn't change careers.
[11:09] Matsu
I'm devoted to you, Ane-chan.
[11:14] Matsu
Oh, sorry. I got another call.
[11:16] Matsu
My men are so annoying.
[11:19] Matsu
Buh-bye.
[11:21] Nakazaki
Ah, he finally answered the phone!
[11:22] Nakazaki
Are you okay, Commissioner?!
[11:23] Matsu
How many times did you
call me, you fool?!
[11:26] Matsu
Don't call my phone when
I'm in terrorist territory.
[11:30] Matsu
You're terrorizing my
conversation with Ane-chan!
[11:33] Nakazaki
You have no right to talk when you're
[11:35] Nakazaki
calling female escorts while
sneaking up on terrorists!
[11:37] Matsu
I was just settling matters
so the women left behind
[11:40] ---
in this cruel world don't grieve.
[11:42] Matsu
When a man dies, everyone
should be wearing pure white.
[11:45] Matsu
I have fifty more girls
to call, so hold on.
[11:48] Nakazaki
It's too late to clean up your act!
[11:50] Nakazaki
Your soul is completely black!
[11:51] Nakazaki
Anyway, Hijikata-san and the other men
will be entering the building soon.
[11:54] Nakazaki
Don't do anything hasty.
[11:56] Zura
No, we can't wait for them.
[11:59] Nakazaki
Ezurako-san?
[12:00] Zura
They've taken over the security system.
[12:02] Zura
It won't be easy to
approach the building.
[12:04] Nakazaki
Huh? Then we shouldn't be here.
[12:07] Zura
I put something in this
car to jam their radar.
[12:13] Zura
And I did the same thing
to Matsudaira's present.
[12:18] Nakazaki
You're...
[12:20] Zura
I happen to be acquainted
with Edo's top tinkerer.
[12:24] Zura
In three hours, they'll
begin executing hostages.
[12:26] Matsu
In other words, I need to end
their lives before they end mine.
[12:33] Zura
Exactly.
[12:35] Nakazaki
Ezurako-san!
[12:36] Zura
But you won't be able to do it
[12:38] ---
by recklessly wandering around alone.
[12:40] Zura
I'll assist you.
[12:45] Matsu
I knew something was fishy.
[12:47] Matsu
You're no ordinary maid.
[12:50] Zura
I'm just an ordinary maid
[12:52] Zura
who enjoys eavesdropping.
[12:55] Leader
How are negotiations going?
[12:57] A
It'll take a day to secure
the release of our brethren.
[13:01] Leader
They're obviously trying to buy time.
[13:03] Leader
Tell them this.
[13:04] Leader
We aren't giving them any more time.
[13:06] A
Yes, sir.
[13:07] Leader
And one more thing.
[13:10] Leader
Tell them that Matsudaira's
life is already ours,
[13:14] Leader
though, technically, we still have to go
[13:15] ---
through the formality
of taking it from him.
[13:17] Leader
I didn't expect him to sneak in
by himself to save his daughter.
[13:22] Kuriko
H-He won't come!
[13:25] Kuriko
He would never try to save me...
[13:28] Leader
Don't make a fuss. You'll
be seeing him real soon.
[13:31] Leader
We'll have him tied
up with a red ribbon.
[13:36] Zura
Listen up. They're holed up in the
[13:39] ---
main control room on the top floor.
[13:41] Zura
You're on the 9th floor.
[13:43] Zura
Every floor from the 10th
up is packed with guards.
[13:46] Matsu
I see. So this marker
on the 9th floor is me.
[13:49] Matsu
Wait a moment!
[13:50] Matsu
Why did you use this symbol for me?!
[13:52] Zura
Don't get the wrong idea.
[13:53] Zura
That's the tip of an ice cream cone.
[13:56] Zura
And the three markers on
the 10th floor are enemies.
[13:59] Matsu
Why do they get cones when I don't?
[14:02] Zura
Otherwise, you wouldn't be
able to tell friend from foe.
[14:04] Matsu
Give me a cone!
[14:06] Matsu
I love to suck the last bit of ice
cream out of the end of a cone.
[14:09] Katsura
Fine, I'll put corn in your poop.
[14:12] Matsu
I said cone, not corn!
[14:14] Matsu
And you said poop. You just
admitted that it's poop.
[14:16] Nakazaki
Uh, does it really matter?!
[14:18] Zura
In any case, you need to avoid those
[14:20] Zura
ice cream cones as you make
your way to the 50th floor.
[14:23] Zura
Look carefully.
[14:25] Zura
The tip of the ice cream is
tipping left and right, yes?
[14:29] Zura
The tip indicates the
direction they're facing.
[14:31] Zura
When the three tips are tipping
in the same direction,
[14:35] Zura
you should tip past them.
[14:37] Nakazaki
That's too complicated!
[14:38] Nakazaki
Why do you have to use
the word tip so much?!
[14:43] Nakazaki
Ah, hold on...
[14:44] Nakazaki
There's an ice cream cone coming down!
[14:47] Zura
What?! It's tipping like crazy!
[14:49] Zura
Is it in a hurry?
[14:51] Nakazaki
10th floor... He didn't get off!
[14:53] Nakazaki
Has he noticed that the
commissioner's on the 9th floor?
[14:56] Zura
Hide quick!
[14:58] Nakazaki
Oh, no!
[14:59] Nakazaki
Huh?!
[14:59] Nakazaki
W-Wait!
[15:00] Nakazaki
The ice cream cone split in two!
[15:03] Zura
What's going on up there?
[15:05] Matsu
A guy ran off somewhere.
[15:07] Nakazaki
But the ice cream's
still in the elevator!
[15:11] Nakazaki
He just pooped his pants!
[15:13] Zura
Apparently, both people and poop
[15:16] ---
are registered under
the ice cream marker.
[15:18] Nakazaki
Why is poop even registered
on your scanner?!
[15:20] Matsu
And why am I not registered as a human?!
[15:24] Zura
He took the elevator
down to find a bathroom,
[15:27] Zura
but he couldn't hold it
in and had to sparking!
[15:30] Zura
Look.
[15:31] Zura
The cone is becoming wet.
[15:34] Zura
Is he wiping his ass?
[15:36] Matsu
No, he's probably crying.
[15:38] Zura
Wait, I thought that there were
only enemies above you, but...
[15:42] Nakazaki
It's mostly poop up there!
[15:44] Zura
I can no longer tell which
are human and which are poop.
[15:48] Matsu
When I blew up that bathroom,
I probably burst the water main.
[15:52] Matsu
They can no longer take
care of their business.
[15:55] Nakazaki
Still, this is too many!
[15:57] Zura
However, we can use this
situation to our advantage.
[16:00] Zura
Look!
[16:02] Nakazaki
Th-This is...
[16:03] Zura
They're all running down in
search of clean restrooms!
[16:07] Nakazaki
They really need to take a shit!
[16:09] Zura
They're using the stairs.
[16:11] Zura
This is your chance to
take the elevator up!
[16:14] Nakazaki
Hold on!
[16:15] Nakazaki
The wet cone is racing to the
elevator at a crazy speed!
[16:19] Nakazaki
Did he notice the commissioner?
[16:21] Zura
No, now that he's calmed down,
[16:24] Zura
he's returning for his underwear
so he can destroy the evidence.
[16:27] Zura
Hurry, Matsudaira!
[16:30] Zura
He made it in time.
[16:31] Zura
Th-That's...!
[16:33] Zura
He's hanging on to the
bottom of the elevator!
[16:35] Zura
He is dedicated to his underwear!
[16:38] Zura
He really doesn't want
anyone to find out!
[16:40] Nakazaki
Commissioner! The cone is below you!
[16:43] Nakazaki
And which one is the commissioner?!
[16:45] Zura
Ah! The cone is using the pointy
edge to try to break through!
[16:50] Nakazaki
Uh, what pointy edge?
[16:52] Nakazaki
That's just a marker!
[16:54] Zura
What?!
[16:55] Zura
He penetrated the poop!
[16:56] Nakazaki
Wait, is that the commissioner?!
[16:58] Nakazaki
Or is it the poop?!
[16:59] Nakazaki
Which is it?!
[17:00] Zura
He's trying to drag Matsudaira off!
[17:05] Zura
Oh! Saved at the last second!
[17:08] Nakazaki
How?!
[17:09] Nakazaki
How can poop save him?!
[17:11] Zura
Is that actually Matsudaira?
[17:14] Zura
Ah! The cone con finally
cornered himself and fell!
[17:18] Nakazaki
Why was he trying so hard to protect
a pair of dirty underwear?!
[17:21] Zura
This is bad.
[17:22] Zura
The Ice Cream Gang has noticed
that something is wrong!
[17:24] Zura
When he makes it to the
top, he'll be gunned down!
[17:28] Nakazaki
They split up! What the hell?!
[17:31] Nakazaki
How the hell are two turds
moving around independently?!
[17:35] Zura
It's going to draw their attention
[17:37] ---
so Matsudaira can make it to the top!
[17:39] Nakazaki
It's just a pair of
underwear with poop on it!
[17:41] Nakazaki
How did it turn into the
commissioner's partner?!
[17:44] Nakazaki
Look!
[17:44] Nakazaki
The Ice Cream Gang is ignoring the
[17:46] ---
underwear and gathering
on the 50th floor!
[17:47] Nakazaki
No shit, Sherlock!
[17:48] Nakazaki
He's completely trapped!
[18:00] Hijikata
What?!
[18:03] Zura
The ice cream cones are disappearing.
[18:06] Nakazaki
This poop was actually the diversion...?
[18:18] Matsu
Happy birthday to you.
[18:27] Nakazaki
He really took out all of
the terrorists by himself...
[18:31] Zura
No, there's one cone left.
[18:38] Matsu
Sorry about that.
[18:40] Matsu
Your precious underwear
and squad are all gone.
[18:45] Leader
No, I should thank you.
[18:48] Leader
No one will know now.
[18:53] Leader
You're placing your duty as a
cop over your duty as a father?!
[18:57] Matsu
Well, you can't call yourself a father
[19:00] Matsu
if you don't mind your daughter
being used as a shield.
[19:04] Matsu
But you can't even call
yourself a man if you let
[19:07] Matsu
someone who hurt your daughter
walk away unscathed.
[19:10] Matsu
A father's duty isn't much to speak of.
[19:13] Matsu
Kids are raised fine by their mothers.
[19:17] Matsu
As long as I'm bringing in
money, I have no other use.
[19:23] Matsu
All that's left is to praise her
when she does something good,
[19:27] Matsu
and scold her when she
does something bad.
[19:31] Matsu
That's about it.
[19:34] Matsu
This fist represents my duty
as a police commissioner
[19:38] Matsu
and a lousy Edo dad.
[19:44] Leader
That's...!
[19:46] Leader
My...
[19:47] Leader
My underwear is still around!
[19:50] Matsu
The decoy was my own underwear.
[19:54] Matsu
I have one thing to say
to you as a father.
[20:00] Matsu
Wash your own
[20:06] Matsu
shitty underwear!
[20:15] Zura
What a waste.
[20:17] Zura
This was your chance to
score some points with her.
[20:20] Zura
She won't remember a thing.
[20:22] Matsu
I'm fine with playing
the role of a lousy dad
[20:26] Matsu
since it's easy.
[20:28] Zura
Open the box.
[20:30] Zura
It's not your present.
[20:32] Zura
I found it when I was cleaning
your daughter's room.
[20:38] Zura
She was probably going to give
it to you if you showed up.
SIGN Happy Birthday Father
[20:43] Zura
Don't worry.
[20:45] Zura
I left your present in its place.
[20:48] Matsu
How is that supposed
to make me feel better?
[20:50] Matsu
A maid who goes into my daughter's
room without permission
[20:54] ---
gets fired on the spot.
[20:56] Matsu
Nakasaki!
[20:57] Nakazaki
Yes, sir!
[20:58] Matsu
Dump this rotten maid in a ditch.
[21:01] Nakazaki
Understood.
[21:02] Nakazaki
I'll dump the maid in a ditch
where the police won't notice.
[21:05] Matsu
Stop yapping and leave!
[21:07] Nakazaki
Yes, sir!
[21:08] Matsu
The next time we meet, you'll
meet more than my fist, Katsura.
[21:14] Zura
I wouldn't have it any other way.
[21:17] Zura
The police commissioner,
Katakuriko Matsudaira.
SIGN Matsudaira
[21:20] Zura
The greatest foe of the Joi patriots.
[21:25] Maid
Stop that, sir!
[21:27] Zura
It doesn't matter if he doesn't
feel welcome in his own home.
[21:28] Maid
I can do the laundry!
[21:29] Zura
The world is his home.
[21:30] Matsu
Forget it. I'll do this.
[21:32] Zura
And so he goes off to work again.
[21:33] Maid
Oh, Miss Kuriko.
[21:36] Maid
That's a lovely hairpin.
[21:39] Zura
However, I have seen on display
[21:42] Zura
the bond between father and daughter
as they stand back to back.
[21:48] Zura
As well as the dignity of
a so-called lousy father.
[21:52] Zura
Katakuriko Matsudaira.
[21:55] Zura
You make a fitting opponent.
SIGN Next Episode: Blue and Red Ecstasy
[23:30] Gin
Next time:
[23:31] Gin
Blue and Red Ecstasy.
E224 - "Blue and Red Ecstasy"
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:33] Shin
Uh, Gin-san? What was that about?
[01:36] Shin
How could you screw up the
end of the opening sequence?
[01:38] Gin
Don't blame me.
[01:39] Gin
There's bound to be a mishap when
[01:41] ---
you do the same thing 23 times in a row.
[01:43] Kagura
I thought the opening
was reused every time.
[01:46] Shin
You weren't supposed to say that.
[01:48] Gin
I'm too embarrassed to show my face.
[01:50] Gin
How am I supposed to do this next week?
[01:54] Shin
I feel the same way.
[01:54] Kagura
Me too.
[01:55] Gin
Say, since this is so embarrassing,
[01:57] Gin
can we cut to commercial?
SIGN Recycling Shop Earth Defense Force
[02:00] A
What's this?
[02:02] Gin
Isn't that obvious?
SIGN Doraemon
[02:03] Gin
A VHS player.
[02:04] Gin
Buy it off me.
[02:05] A
There's a tape stuck inside.
[02:08] Gin
It comes with a video tape.
[02:11] A
Nobody buys or sells
VHS players these days.
[02:16] Gin
Man, don't you get it?
[02:18] Gin
It says Doraemon on the
tape, but it's not Doraemon.
[02:22] Gin
There's no flying or
four-dimensional pocket.
[02:26] Gin
Just a nasty pocket with a whacked Gian.
[02:30] A
Your head is whacked.
[02:32] Gin
Anyway, I can't leave this
sitting around at home.
[02:35] Gin
I mean, Gian is sticking out.
[02:37] Gin
I'll just recycle this.
[02:39] Gin
If you don't want to buy it, I'm
willing to trade it in for something else.
[02:42] Gin
Like a DVD.
[02:44] A
If you want to play straw
millionaire, go somewhere else.
[02:47] A
Oh, I do have a Blu-ray player.
[02:50] Gin
Huh? What did you just say?
[02:53] A
I'm saying that I have a Blu-ray
player that I'll trade for that.
[02:57] Gin
R-Really?!
[02:59] Gin
Blu-rays are better than DVDs, right?
[03:01] Gin
You can see the pores
in Shizuka-chan's skin!
[03:04] A
You can see Shizuka-chan like
you've never seen her before.
[03:08] Gin
Really?! Are you sure about this?!
[03:10] A
Yes, I am.
[03:12] A
But...
[03:14] A
There's a Gian recital
going on here, too.
SIGN Blue and Red Ecstasy
[03:25] Shin
What's that, Gin-san?
[03:27] Gin
B-Blu-ray...
[03:31] Shin
Blu-ray?
[03:32] Shin
Why do we have such an
expensive machine here?
[03:35] Gin
I straw millionaire'd myself a
[03:37] ---
broken Blu-ray player out
of a broken VHS player.
[03:39] Shin
Uh, so you traded trash for trash?
[03:43] Gin
But it's like a tissue used
to wipe this dumb girl's nose
[03:46] Gin
versus a tissue used to
wipe Otsuu-chan's lipstick!
[03:49] Shin
The latter wouldn't be a tissue anymore.
[03:51] Shin
It would be a holy shroud.
[03:52] Kagura
Hey, how about I stuff my
shroud down your throat?
[03:56] Shin
But this thing is useless.
[04:00] Gin
If only I could get
this disc out of there.
[04:02] Gin
It won't even budge.
[04:05] Kagura
What's on that disc anyway?
[04:07] Gin
How would I know?
[04:08] Gin
The former owner jammed it in there.
[04:11] Shin
You can't pull or push it, but it spins.
[04:14] Kagura
There's something written on the disc.
[04:21] Gin
The Cursed Blu-ray?
[04:23] Gin
What's this?
[04:24] Shin
Beats me.
[04:25] Shin
I've heard of cursed video tapes.
[04:28] Shin
The ones where you die
if you watch them.
[04:31] Kagura
I've heard about that.
[04:32] Kagura
A ghost comes out of
the TV and kills you.
[04:36] Gin
It's coming for me!
[04:39] Shin
But I've never heard of
a cursed Blu-ray before.
[04:42] Kagura
Well, video tapes are too dated.
[04:44] Kagura
Ghosts also have to
keep up with the times.
[04:48] Gin
Th-This isn't funny!
[04:50] Gin
I don't want to see a
high-definition ghost!
[04:53] Gin
Damn that bitch!
[04:54] Gin
I'm gonna return this thing!
[04:55] Shin
Ah, Gin-san!
[04:56] Shin
You didn't unplug it!
[05:03] Gin
I put it in!
[05:05] Kagura
That's great.
[05:06] Kagura
Let's watch it then.
[05:08] Gin
What are you babbling about?!
[05:10] Gin
Do you want to die?!
[05:11] Shin
It was probably just a prank.
[05:13] Shin
That cursed video tape was just a story.
[05:15] Gin
Just turn the TV off!
[05:17] Shin
Man...
[05:17] Shin
Turn around then, Gin-san.
[05:20] Shin
I'll turn the volume down.
[05:25] Shin
Huh?
[05:26] Shin
The remote isn't working.
[05:29] Gin
What?!
[05:30] Gin
Hey! Wait a second!
[05:31] Gin
This is...
[05:33] Kagura
Oh, I can see something.
[05:36] Gin
Hey, isn't that a well?
[05:39] Gin
This is, you know,
[05:40] Gin
where that person lives!
[05:42] Gin
This is really bad...
[05:46] Gin
There it comes!
[05:47] Gin
It was all true!
[05:48] Gin
We're so screwed!
[05:50] Kagura
Uh oh, it's going to jump out
of the TV and kill us all!
[05:55] Gin
Shinpachi!
[05:55] Gin
Grab a pot lid!
[05:57] Gin
Hold it back!
[05:57] Gin
Don't let it get out!
[05:59] Shin
That's not how it works!
[06:00] Kagura
Gin-chan, it's coming closer!
[06:03] Gin
Destroy it! Destroy the TV!
[06:06] Shin
W-Wait, Gin-san!
[06:08] Shin
It...
[06:10] Shin
It stopped moving.
[06:16] Ghost
K-Kotatsu...
[06:20] Gin
Kotatsu?!
[06:20] Gin
What's that supposed to mean?!
[06:22] Gin
Is that some kind of deadly curse?!
[06:23] Shin
Ah! She's leaving.
[06:25] Shin
I don't get it, but she's
going back to the well!
[06:27] Ghost
Did I turn it off?
[06:28] Gin
Hey! She just said, "Did I turn it off"!
[06:30] Gin
So she meant kotatsu as
in the heated table?!
[06:31] Gin
She went back to make
sure she turned it off?!
[06:34] Shin
Uh, what kind of ghost would
go back to check on a kotatsu?!
[06:37] Shin
And is there a kotatsu down there?!
[06:39] Gin
Anyway, this is our chance!
[06:41] Gin
Come up with a plan
before she comes back!
[06:44] Kagura
Ah, she's coming back!
[06:46] Gin
She already finished checking! Damn!
[06:50] Shin
Huh, she stopped moving again.
[06:56] Ghost
P-Plug...
[06:59] Gin
Hey!
[07:00] Shin
Now she's going back to
unplug the whole thing!
[07:03] Shin
That's one oversensitive ghost!
[07:06] Shin
Though I understand the feeling!
[07:07] Shin
It happens!
[07:08] Gin
She can't come out of the TV if
[07:09] ---
she can't even make it
outside of the well!
[07:11] Gin
Maybe she's been cursed by the kotatsu!
[07:14] Gin
Maybe she should just flip the breaker?!
[07:17] Shin
Ah, she's back!
[07:19] Kagura
She's having trouble getting up.
[07:26] Gin
She brought the kotatsu with her!
[07:28] Shin
She was so worried that she
brought the kotatsu out with her!
[07:32] Shin
And this is the wrong season
for a kotatsu anyway!
[07:34] Gin
That's not gonna happen!
[07:36] Shin
She can't bring that thing
out of the TV with her!
[07:38] Shin
Our TV's too small!
[07:41] Shin
It won't fit through!
[07:42] Shin
You have to lead with the corner!
[07:45] Kagura
Oh, well. I guess I'll give her a hand!
[07:48] Gin
Hell no! Don't help her!
[07:49] Gin
And how are you supposed
to get inside the TV?!
[07:51] Kagura
I feel bad for her though.
[07:53] Kagura
She's about to cry.
[07:54] Gin
Uh, it doesn't seem like
you'll be killing us,
[07:58] Gin
so could you leave?
[07:59] Gin
We'll play this Blu-ray
again in a few days,
[08:01] Gin
so you can give it another shot then.
[08:05] Gin
Uh, did you hear me?
[08:08] Shin
She's making herself comfortable.
[08:12] Shin
She's watching TV from inside the TV.
[08:14] Kagura
What's she trying to do?
[08:16] Gin
Don't give me any crap!
[08:18] Gin
I told you to leave!
[08:19] Gin
This is our TV!
[08:21] Gin
If you don't scram, I'll Bubble
Fiction: Boom or Bust your ass!
[08:24] Gin
You'll be off to a pretty crappy world!
[08:26] Ghost
I-I'm sorry...
[08:28] Ghost
I don't mean any harm.
[08:31] Ghost
Could you spare one channel
for me to spend the night?
[08:36] Gin
Screw that!
[08:37] Gin
Why should we let a ghost
use one of our channels?!
[08:40] Ghost
Y-You've got it wrong.
[08:41] Ghost
I'm not a suspicious ghost.
[08:45] Ghost
Look.
[08:57] Ghost
See, I'm not a ghost.
[09:01] Gin
Y-You're...
[09:03] Gin
That's...
[09:05] Ghost
I-I'm an angel.
[09:08] Ghost
An imaginary angel.
[09:11] Ghost
Blu-wraith.
[09:13] Shin
You're obviously not an angel!
[09:15] Shin
You look the same as you did before!
[09:17] Shin
More like you became an angel by
[09:19] ---
removing yourself from reality!
[09:21] Shin
What's that thing hanging
from your neck?!
[09:23] Ghost
Don't worry. I can't leave the TV.
[09:28] Ghost
These defiled wings
can't carry me anywhere.
[09:32] Ghost
I can only look up at the
sky from my rectangular box.
[09:37] Shin
Blu-wraith is getting all blue on us!
[09:39] Shin
She's doing justice to her name!
[09:41] Ghost
I was created by a mad
scientist from another planet
[09:46] Ghost
as a program to place in
Blu-rays for invading cities.
[09:50] Ghost
When the Blu-ray is played,
I become an electronic virus
[09:55] Ghost
that possesses every
system and destroys all.
[09:57] Shin
That's not very angelic.
[09:58] Shin
I'd call you a demon.
[10:00] Ghost
But before I could be played,
[10:04] Ghost
the professor had to sell me to a
recycle shop to pay off his debts.
[10:07] Ghost
Ever since, I've been known
as the cursed Blu-ray
[10:10] ---
and sent from planet to planet.
[10:13] Shin
So you're the cursed Blu-ray
[10:15] Shin
because you curse appliances,
electric devices?
[10:18] Ghost
P-Please...
[10:20] Ghost
I have nowhere else to go.
[10:22] Ghost
Let me stay in this TV.
[10:24] Ghost
One channel is all I need.
[10:25] Ghost
Let me stay in this Braun tube.
[10:28] Gin
This is all too sudden.
[10:31] Kagura
Are you sure you want to stay
in this cramped and dirty 1LDK?
[10:34] Kagura
You could stay in a fancy 3D home.
[10:39] Ghost
I-I guess you don't want a
dirty Blu-ray like me around.
[10:44] Shin
Huh?
[10:44] Kagura
Of course...
[10:47] Kagura
Everyone's had their turn with me
[10:50] ---
from recycle shop to recycle shop.
[10:54] ---
I've been abused by so many players.
[10:57] Kagura
Nobody would want to play
this slutty Blu-ray.
[10:59] Shin
Sh-Should you really be
[11:01] ---
so blue about nobody
wanting to play you?
[11:03] Gin
She's a Blu-ray.
[11:05] Ghost
I can no longer fly anywhere
on these slutty wings.
[11:09] Ghost
I can't make it to
channel 5 or channel 4.
[11:12] Ghost
I belong on the dark Video 1.
[11:15] Shin
She just revealed that
she wants to be on Video 1.
[11:18] Ghost
If that is too much to ask for...
[11:21] Shin
Ah! Wait!
[11:24] Ghost
I don't need these wings.
[11:26] Ghost
After all, they broke long ago.
[11:29] Ghost
Maybe these wings will carry me away
[11:32] ---
if I make them bright red.
[11:34] Gin
Hold on! Calm down!
[11:36] Gin
Video 1!
[11:37] Gin
Video 1's what you want?!
[11:38] Ghost
What? Can I?
[11:40] Gin
Only until you find another home!
[11:42] Gin
And promise that you
won't leave Video 1!
[11:44] Ghost
Th-Thank you. I'm so happy...
[11:48] Ghost
H-Huh?
[11:49] Ghost
That's odd.
[11:51] Ghost
I shouldn't be able to cry out of my right eye, yet.
[11:56] Gin
Very odd! Very red!
[11:58] Ghost
I want to show my appreciation.
[11:59] Ghost
But I have nothing to offer.
[12:01] Gin
It's okay! It's okay,
so change channels!
[12:03] Gin
Let us control the TV!
[12:05] Ghost
Oh, that's right.
[12:06] Ghost
I promise to return the
favor, so wait for me.
[12:09] Gin
Uh, what are you going to do?
[12:10] Gin
Why are you flashing your right wing?!
[12:12] Ghost
And please don't switch to Video 1
[12:15] ---
before I've shown my appreciation!
[12:17] Gin
What are you going to give us?!
[12:18] Gin
Don't do it!
[12:19] Gin
You only have one wing left!
[12:22] Ghost
It doesn't matter.
[12:23] Ghost
I will never fly again,
[12:25] Ghost
but my corpse can serve as a
launchpad to send you high up.
[12:35] Shin
Gin-san, is a color TV
supposed to be so blue?
[12:39] Gin
Video 1 is off-limits for now.
[12:41] Gin
The transition to digital TV
is finished, so stick to that.
[12:44] Shin
Let's watch something to cheer us up.
[12:45] Shin
Is it time for Laugh Away?
[12:47] Kagura
Who's going to be on
Telephone Shocking tonight?
SIGN Blu-wraith
[12:50] Tamo
Did you cut off your wing?
[12:51] Ghost
Yes.
[12:55] Tamo
Did you cut your hair?
[12:55] Shin
Gin-san, I've never seen this
person on Tamo-san Hour before.
[12:57] Ghost
I cut off my wing.
[12:59] Shin
Who brought her on?
[13:01] Shin
Why isn't Tamo-san saying anything?
[13:04] Tamo
Oh, we have flowers.
SIGN Congratulations on your appearance on Laugh Away? - Blu-wraith
[13:06] Shin
And there's only one bouquet.
[13:09] Shin
From herself.
[13:10] Tamo
Introduce me to your friends.
[13:14] Shin
No reaction.
[13:16] Shin
This is as bad as when
Akira Emoto was on.
[13:18] Gin
Stop it!
[13:20] Gin
Stop making our TV blue!
[13:22] Gin
Change!
[13:23] Gin
Change channels!
[13:24] N
Oh! Someone's making a run!
[13:27] N
It's Right Wing! Right Wing!
[13:30] N
Well ma'am. I would consider
that domestic violence.
[13:34] Ghost
No...
[13:35] Ghost
I wanted my husband to
pay attention to me.
[13:37] Ghost
So I snapped my wing off.
[13:39] Ghost
Today, we'll be making angel
wingtip with blue cheese.
[13:45] Gin
Everything's the same color!
[13:47] Gin
A very black blue!
[14:02] N
Fifty thousand, I'd say.
[14:05] Gin
Gramps, you're part of the
make-me-blue movement?
[14:07] Gin
Stop it.
[14:08] Gin
Drop a zero.
[14:09] N
That zero might save your life.
[14:12] N
You want this to blow up again?
[14:14] Gin
Tsk.
[14:16] N
Still, you're an oddball.
[14:19] N
Why would you put a GPS on a scooter?
[14:22] N
With a Blu-ray player to boot.
[14:26] Gin
I'm at a crossroads in my life.
[14:28] ---
A very blue crossroads.
[14:30] N
Don't let that Blu-ray player
get you into an accident!
[14:38] Gin
Hey, I moved you over.
[14:40] Gin
You understand?
[14:43] Gin
You better earn me the 50 grand back.
[14:46] Ghost
I-I'm sorry about causing
you so much trouble.
[14:51] Ghost
I couldn't fit on a
[14:52] ---
video tape because I was
supposed to be capable
[14:55] Ghost
of destroying entire cities.
[14:57] Ghost
I'm really sorry.
[14:59] Ghost
I will hang myself in apology.
[15:01] Gin
Uh, you already hanged yourself.
[15:03] Gin
Listen to me.
[15:04] Gin
No more hanging or wing snapping.
[15:06] Gin
You're gonna pay me back
by serving as my navigator.
[15:09] Gin
A fool like you should still
be able to read a map, right?
[15:12] Ghost
Th-Thank you.
[15:14] Ghost
You have set me free from my cage.
[15:18] Ghost
Y-You're like my wings...
[15:22] Ghost
I-In that case,
[15:26] Ghost
I no longer need this defiled wing.
[15:29] Gin
Stop! I told you to stop that!
[15:31] Gin
You really want to rip your wings off!
[15:33] Gin
Take better care of your body!
[15:35] Ghost
I feel better when I see blood,
[15:38] Ghost
because I may feel blue.
But my blood is still red.
[15:42] Gin
Okay, we have our destination!
[15:43] Gin
Tell me the way to the hospital!
[15:45] Gin
I'm on a delivery, so do a proper job.
[15:49] Gin
This is where we're going.
[15:50] Gin
Bring up the map!
[15:52] Ghost
U-Understood.
[15:56] Ghost
The blue wing is our current location.
[15:58] Ghost
Our destination is the red wing.
[16:01] Gin
The whole screen is covered in red!
[16:02] Gin
Who said anything about blood?!
[16:05] Ghost
Sorry, I wanted to help you
calm down and drive safely.
[16:09] Gin
How is this supposed to calm me down?!
[16:10] Gin
I can't tell where I'm
going with all this blood!
[16:13] Gin
You should give me a more
realistic demonstration!
[16:16] Gin
That's not what I meant!
[16:20] Ghost
Like this?
[16:21] Gin
Yes, like this!
[16:23] Gin
And tell me stuff like how many
meters many until a turn to the right.
[16:26] Ghost
Turn right in 25 meters.
[16:33] Ghost
Turn right in 50 meters.
[16:37] Ghost
Turn right in 75 meters.
[16:41] Gin
Uh, why do I keep turning right?
[16:44] Gin
I'm back where I started?
[16:46] Gin
Do you know what you're doing?
[16:49] Ghost
I'm sorry...
[16:50] Ghost
But I only have a right wing to turn....
[16:54] Gin
Nobody said to turn your wing!
[16:56] Ghost
I-I'm sorry...
[16:59] Ghost
It will be another 125 meters
before I can snap the next bone.
[17:03] Gin
Nobody wants to hear about
your broken angel wing!
[17:05] Gin
Give me my damn directions!
[17:07] Ghost
Y-Yes...
[17:09] Ghost
Nobody cares about me.
[17:15] Ghost
Turn left.
[17:17] Ghost
And then...
[17:18] Ghost
Continue forward.
[17:23] Gin
Are you trying to kill me?!
[17:25] Ghost
What do you mean?
[17:26] Ghost
If nobody cares about my
life, I'm already dead.
[17:30] Gin
What a pain!
[17:31] Gin
This navigation system
is a pain the ass!
[17:33] Ghost
Y-Yes...
[17:35] Ghost
My navigation is too heavy.
[17:37] Ghost
I am nothing but a chain on your legs.
[17:40] Ghost
Goodbye.
[17:42] Ghost
Take care.
[17:43] Gin
The hell are you on?! I'm riding
on the scooter you're in!
[17:46] Gin
F-Fine!
[17:47] Gin
When this job is finished,
I'll listen to your story!
[17:49] Gin
Just give me directions right now!
[17:51] Gin
Focus on navigating!
[17:53] Ghost
R-Really?
[17:55] Ghost
Then I'll try my best.
[17:57] Ghost
Turn right in 150 meters.
[18:00] Gin
Yes, yes. Excellent.
That's more like it!
[18:04] Ghost
Turn left in 20 meters.
[18:06] ---
You are too close to the
car in front of you.
[18:09] Gin
Hey, you're pretty good at this.
[18:12] Gin
So turn right, turn left... What's next?
[18:15] Ghost
Kotatsu six kilometers behind.
[18:18] Gin
What does your kotatsu
have to do with anything?!
[18:19] Gin
You want me to turn around?!
[18:20] Gin
You need to go check
if it's turned off?!
[18:22] Gin
Why do you keep worrying
about your kotatsu?!
[18:24] Ghost
You are too far away from the kotatsu.
[18:27] Ghost
Current distance: 6,238 meters.
[18:29] Gin
Who cares how far away the kotatsu is?!
[18:32] Ghost
Distance between our
hearts: 6,343 meters.
[18:35] Gin
How does that even make sense?!
[18:38] Gin
Where is your heart?!
[18:42] Ghost
So close...
[18:44] Ghost
And yet so far away.
[18:46] Ghost
You are so far away...
[18:48] Gin
This navigation system
is a pain in the ass!
[18:50] Gin
It's like you're straight out
of a Shinji Nojima serial!
[18:58] Gin
I'm just kidding! You're
not a pain in the ass!
[18:59] Gin
Thank you for the concern!
[19:01] Gin
But don't worry, you
turned off the kotatsu!
[19:04] Gin
Focus!
[19:06] Gin
Do your job, okay?!
[19:08] Ghost
I'm sorry.
[19:09] Ghost
I can't stop worrying
about the kotatsu...
[19:12] Ghost
Are you sure? Are you really sure?
[19:15] Gin
It's fine! Stop worrying.
[19:17] Ghost
I'm sorry.
[19:19] Ghost
I had a traumatic experience
involving a kotatsu.
[19:21] Gin
Uh, could you just do your job?
[19:24] Ghost
Yes...
[19:26] Ghost
I was waiting for him that day...
[19:29] Gin
Hey, what is this?!
[19:31] Gin
You're like those couples who
get stuck in a traffic jam
[19:33] Gin
and start watching shows
on their navigation system!
[19:35] Ghost
My boyfriend was so possessive that
he wouldn't let me go outside.
[19:39] Gin
Boyfriend?!
[19:41] Gin
Isn't that the mad
scientist who made you?!
[19:43] Gin
And is this like a flashback
in a flashback?!
[19:46] Ghost
When I tried to go outside,
[19:49] Ghost
he would use d-doner kebab.
[19:52] Gin
Domestic violence!
[19:54] Gin
You were completely off!
[19:56] Gin
And did he just rip off a wing?!
[19:57] Gin
You had two earlier!
[19:59] Ghost
Back then, I had six wings.
[20:02] Gin
Hell if I care!
[20:03] Gin
And how come you can talk straight now!
[20:06] Ghost
I tried to convince myself that
he was acting out of love.
[20:10] Ghost
But there was one thing that worried me.
[20:13] Ghost
My mad boyfriend would always leave me and go away...
[20:18] Gin
You're the one who's mad!
[20:21] Ghost
He went to Fukuoka a while back.
[20:23] Ghost
Last week, it was Hokkaido.
[20:25] Ghost
Today, he went to Nagoya.
[20:26] Ghost
Are these really business trips?
[20:29] Ghost
Or is he going to see other women?
[20:33] Gin
Fukuoka, Hokkaido, and Nagoya?!
[20:35] Gin
Aren't you from a different planet?!
[20:37] Ghost
I could only sit under a kotatsu and
[20:39] Ghost
watch reruns of Shinji
Nojima serials while
[20:41] ---
waiting for him to return.
[20:42] Gin
What the hell?
[20:44] Gin
Why does it have to be Shinji Nojima?!
[20:47] Ghost
Then I woke up.
[20:50] Ghost
I could smell something delicious.
[20:54] Ghost
It was a gift from Nagoya.
[20:57] Ghost
My boyfriend was really
on a business trip!
[20:59] Ghost
And he bought a present for me.
[21:04] Ghost
But then I realized that
it wasn't a present from Nagoya.
[21:09] Ghost
It was my wing that had been burned
by the heat from the kotatsu.
[21:14] Gin
Why?!
[21:23] Ghost
And so, I was traumatized by
kotatsu, wings, and Shinji Nojima.
[21:28] Gin
I-It's okay!
[21:30] Gin
Everybody has to deal
with their own pain!
[21:33] Gin
Wh-Who cares if you
don't have any wings?!
[21:36] Gin
You don't need any wings!
[21:38] Gin
I'll take you where you want to go!
SIGN Really?
[21:52] Gin
Wow, the sky is so blue...
SIGN Next Episode: So in the Second Season of Prison Break, They're Already Broken Out of Prison, But the Name Works Once You Realize That Society is a Prison
[23:30] Gin
Let me out!
[23:32] Gin
I'm innocent!
E225 - So in the second season of Prison Break, they're already broken out of prison, but the name works once you realize that society is a prison
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Cosplay Club
[01:31] Gin
Prison role playing?
[01:32] A
Yes, I play the prisoner, and he plays the guard.
[01:36] Gin
Could you give me some more detail?
[01:39] Gin
Like some examples of what you were doing.
[01:40] Gin
And I don't mean in a dirty way.
[01:42] A
Is that even relevant?
[01:44] A
He would always handcuff and blindfold
[01:47] ---
our girls before running off without paying.
[01:50] Gin
Can you be more specific?
[01:52] Gin
How about we reenact the scene with me playing the guard.
[01:55] Shin
Gin-san, do you still remember why we're here?
[01:57] A
I've heard that he's a dangerous guy with backdoor gang connections,
[02:00] ---
so our hands are tied.
[02:02] Gin
Don't worry, I'm also a backdoor kind of person.
[02:05] Gin
So could you head out the backdoor and wait in those handcuffs for me?
[02:08] Shin
Gin-san, cut it out.
[02:09] Kagura
So we just have to get him to pay up?
[02:13] B
Welcome.
[02:15] A
Oh, I think he's here.
[02:16] A
He's all yours.
[02:18] Guard
I would like the prison role playing service again.
[02:21] Gin
Sir, I am impressed to see you wearing a guard uniform.
SIGN Weekly Ranking
[02:26] Gin
However, I am sorry to say that tonight...
[02:30] Gin
You will be the prisoner, and I will be the guard.
[02:35] Guard
Remove that filthy hand.
[02:37] Guard
You want some time in the disciplinary room?
[02:40] Gin
If you want to play prison guard,
[02:41] ---
you need to pay what you owe.
[02:43] Gin
Or else you're headed straight to the slammer.
[02:46] Guard
You prisoners are only walking free because I allow you to.
[02:51] Guard
That hand better be removed when I stop smiling.
[02:55] Gin
Actually, I think they'll be
[02:56] ---
sending you somewhere else instead of the slammer.
[02:59] Guard
This is your last warning.
[03:01] Guard
Remove the hand.
[03:03] Guard
You won't have another chance to
[03:04] ---
correct your mistake once I throw your ass in jail.
[03:06] Gin
Heh, amusing.
[03:07] Gin
Throw my ass in jail?
[03:10] Gin
I wanna see you try it, you sick warden!
SIGN So in the Second Season of Prison Break, They've Already Broken Out of Prison, But the Name Works Once You Realize That Society is a Prison
[03:20] Guard
I have a depraved samurai here who
[03:23] ---
was making threats and took a couple of kids
[03:24] Guard
to an adult establishment.
[03:26] Guard
Keep an eye on him.
[03:28] A
Yes, Warden Beri!
[03:30] Gin
H-He's the real thing!
[03:33] Gin
W-Wait a moment!
[03:35] Gin
Nobody told me this would happen!
[03:36] Gin
Is it really okay for that thug to be a prison guard?!
[03:39] Gin
Let me out! I'm innocent!
[03:41] Gin
The real culprit is that sick warden!
[03:43] Old
Newbie.
[03:45] Old
Save your yapping for roll call, will you?
[03:49] Gin
Sorry, Gramps.
[03:51] Gin
I don't intend to be part of any roll call.
[03:53] Old
That nasty fellow threw you in here, right?
[03:56] Old
You won't last long if you disobey him.
[04:00] Old
Kuzunosuke Beri.
[04:02] Old
He's the head warden here.
[04:04] Old
He's involved in a lot of dirty business such as torturing prisoners.
[04:08] Old
The law won't do you any good here.
[04:10] Old
We're in his kingdom.
[04:12] Gin
Th-That's not funny...
[04:14] Gin
It won't be long before my people produce evidence
[04:17] Gin
that I was framed and prove my innocence.
[04:22] Shin
Gin-san, we did it!
[04:24] Shin
After a lot of running around,
[04:26] ---
we were able to get your sentence reduced!
[04:28] Kagura
Only two years of prison time! You'll be out in no time! Isn't it great?
[04:31] Gin
I see. Only two years...
[04:34] Gin
...my ass!
[04:35] Gin
Why are you acting like this is good news when it's terrible news?!
[04:38] Shin
Unfortunately, there's already been
[04:40] ---
a lot of information manipulation going on.
[04:43] Kagura
The report has Gin-chan as the one who was making trouble,
[04:47] Kagura
and it even says that you assaulted that guard.
[04:49] Gin
Son of a bitch!
[04:51] Gin
So he's blaming me for the crime and his freaky role playing?!
[04:54] Shin
That warden was always a troublemaker,
[04:58] Shin
but his father happens to be a big cop
[05:00] ---
with enough connections to get him this job.
[05:03] Shin
His ass is covered.
[05:05] Shin
In any case, we'll have to poke around some more.
[05:10] Shin
Anyway, we'll do what we can, so hang in there.
[05:13] Kagura
Keep your asshole safe.
[05:18] Gin
This isn't funny.
[05:20] Gin
If our positions were switched
[05:21] ---
and they'd been thrown in prison for robbing a bank,
[05:24] Gin
I'd sneak into the prison with an escape plan tattooed all over me,
[05:26] Gin
if that's what it takes to save them.
[05:29] Old
Youngster, sometimes there is perspective to be gained by giving up.
[05:34] Gin
Were you also framed by that rotten guard?
[05:38] Old
I'm just your average two-bit criminal.
[05:40] Gin
What'd you do?
[05:42] Old
I can't remember that far back.
[05:45] Gin
How long are you in here?
[05:47] Old
I believe that I still have...
[05:49] Old
...210 years.
[05:51] Gin
Guard! Please put me in a different room!
[05:54] Old
I used to plot ways to escape, but I gave up a long time ago.
[05:58] Gin
No shit!
[05:59] Gin
And what'd you do to warrant a 200-year sentence?!
[06:02] Gin
That's like Demon King Piccolo level!
[06:03] Old
As a result, I've realized what I should be doing.
SIGN How are you doing? It's a lovely day outside. We had rice, fish, miso soup, and takuan for dinner.
[06:08] Gin
You were writing a letter earlier, too.
[06:11] Gin
Who is that to...
[06:11] Guard
You still haven't given up on that?
[06:15] Guard
Put yourself in the shoes of a son
[06:17] ---
who receives letters from his criminal of a father.
[06:22] Old
Good warden, I appreciate your assistance.
[06:26] Guard
Hold on.
[06:27] Guard
Whether you're on the inside or the outside,
[06:30] ---
nothing comes free in this world.
[06:33] Old
I paid you at the beginning of the month.
[06:36] Guard
You're only allowed to receive stuff from the outside once a month.
[06:39] Guard
Yet I'm putting in the effort to bring you letters every week.
[06:45] Gin
Hey, bastard.
[06:47] Gin
You enjoy shaking old geezers for change?
[06:50] Gin
Do you need the money to play a crane game?
[06:51] Old
S-Stop it, Newbie!
[06:53] Guard
Crane game...
[06:55] Guard
Sounds about right,
[06:56] Guard
since I love playing with the toys in this pen.
[07:01] Gin
You sure know how to have a good time.
[07:02] Gin
Let me join in.
[07:04] Guard
This is my personal privilege.
[07:06] Guard
I'll play with you soon enough.
[07:08] Gin
Sorry, but I already had my fun.
[07:12] Gin
Gramps, is this what you wanted?
[07:15] Gin
Guess you owe me now.
[07:17] Guard
Bastard! When did you...
[07:19] Gin
Sorry, you looked like one of
[07:22] ---
those ugly stuffed animals in a crane game.
[07:25] Guard
B-Bastard...
[07:31] Guard
Don't forget.
[07:33] Guard
You'll soon find out what happens to people who oppose me.
[07:38] Guard
I guarantee it.
[07:47] Old
Man, I told you to behave.
[07:50] Gin
If you're trying to show your appreciation, give me your dessert.
[07:52] Old
You're not getting my pudding.
[07:53] Old
But I'll give you my sliced radishes
[07:54] ---
tomorrow and the day after that.
[07:56] Gin
You're just giving me the stuff you don't like.
[07:59] Gin
What was in the letter?
[08:02] Old
Just some small talk.
[08:04] Gin
You're bribing that warden so you can make small talk?
[08:10] Old
I have no other use for my money when I'm stuck
[08:12] ---
here another 200 years.
[08:15] Old
I'm an old man in prison.
[08:20] Old
I'm sure that my family has suffered because of my actions.
[08:23] Old
But my son's the only one left to make amends with.
[08:29] Old
I never expected him to reply or forgive me,
[08:34] Old
but soon, I was receiving replies regularly.
[08:40] Old
Now, I'm basically living for the sake of his small talk.
[08:46] Gin
Why don't you just have him visit
[08:48] ---
instead of going through all this trouble?
[08:50] Old
A felon like me isn't allowed visitors.
[08:53] Old
But after spending years writing letters,
[08:56] ---
I've become a model prisoner.
[08:58] Old
In one week, they'll grant me clemency.
[09:02] Gin
You'll be able to see your son?
[09:04] Old
Yes, in one week,
[09:07] Old
as long as there isn't any trouble.
[09:10] Old
I understand that you've been thrown in here
[09:12] ---
for a crime you didn't commit.
[09:14] Old
But for one week, until I meet my son,
[09:19] ---
I ask that you don't make any trouble.
[09:21] Old
Please...
[09:23] Old
Please...
[09:24] Gin
Let's make a deal.
[09:27] Gin
I'm going to help sustain your lifestyle,
[09:30] Gin
so you should help me with mine.
[09:32] Old
What?
[09:37] Old
Wh-Why you...
[09:40] Old
Not that!
[09:42] Gin
Gramps!
[09:43] Gin
You call yourself a model prisoner?!
[09:44] Gin
Look at you making a huge fuss over pudding!
[09:46] Old
Give it back!
[09:47] Old
Give back my bouncy pudding!
[09:49] Gin
Do you care more about your son or your pudding?!
[09:51] Old
My s-sonding!
[09:53] Gin
What the hell is a sonding?!
[09:54] Gin
The title of some Jump Square series?!
[09:55] A
Hey! What's all the noise about?!
[09:57] Gin
Nothing! Just having a discussion about a bouncy pudding!
[10:00] A
Don't lie to me!
[10:01] A
That's an erect pudding!
[10:02] Gin
No, it's a bouncy pudding!
[10:04] A
'Fess up!
[10:05] A
This is clearly an erect pudding!
[10:06] Gin
No, it's most definitely a bouncy pudding!
[10:11] Gin
What the hell?
[10:12] Gin
You were about to lose your chance
[10:14] ---
to see your son because of a pudding.
[10:16] Old
Listen to me.
[10:16] Old
You better give me my pudding back once the week is up.
[10:20] Gin
Man...
[10:21] Old
Understand?
[10:23] Old
I'm sure that you don't want any trouble with the warden...
[10:27] Gin
I understand perfectly.
[10:29] Gin
These guys want to make trouble.
[10:33] Old
Th-That's...
[10:37] Old
Shachi!
[10:39] Old
A vicious felon who was locked up on the Devil's Island,
[10:43] Old
but the warden used his connections to bring him here as an underling!
[10:47] Old
The King of Criminals!
[10:49] Old
Shachi the Killer!
[10:51] Old
N-Not good!
[10:53] Shachi
Yo, so you're the newbie with a lot of spirit?
[10:58] Shachi
The warden told us about you.
[11:00] Shachi
He said there were a couple of punching bags that wouldn't fight back.
[11:06] A
Some new toys for us to play with.
[11:08] B
Shachi, which one do you want?
[11:10] Shachi
I would prefer the younger one,
[11:13] Shachi
but I like the idea of beating an old man to death.
[11:20] Shachi
Wh-What's with that look?
[11:23] Shachi
You wanna fight?
[11:25] Shachi
You don't care if you never get to see your son again?!
[11:30] Old
No! He's gonna kill me!
[11:38] Gin
There are jellyfish on your shoulders.
[11:42] Old
Fashion!
[11:44] Old
Those are for fashion!
[11:45] Old
To show that he's the king of this prison!
[11:47] Gin
And your gloves are so worn that your fingers are sticking out.
[11:50] Gin
You should patch them up,
[11:52] Gin
since I'm the only one who seems to have noticed.
[11:54] A
You making fun of him, you bastard?!
[11:56] B
Those aren't jellyfish! They're shoulder pads!
[11:58] B
That's how they're supposed to look!
[12:00] Gin
What? You all knew?
[12:02] Gin
So you've been holding back your laughter?
[12:05] A
Hell no!
[12:06] A
This is Shachi's new snappy outfit!
[12:09] Gin
Outfit?
[12:11] Gin
So you cut the fingers off your gloves?
[12:14] Gin
Why would you do that?
[12:17] Gin
You could just take off the gloves if they're too tight.
[12:19] Gin
Are the scars on your forehead the same?
[12:21] Gin
You cut yourself up?
[12:23] Gin
I guess it wouldn't make sense for actual scars to be so perfectly aligned.
[12:25] Gin
Why?
[12:26] Gin
Why would you hurt yourself like that?
[12:28] Old
Hey, stop it!
[12:30] Old
Just drop the subject!
[12:31] Old
Don't provoke Shachi anymore!
[12:34] Shachi
I-It was just...
[12:36] Shachi
My face was all itchy from a mosquito bite,
[12:38] Shachi
and when I scratched it, my forehead ended up like this.
[12:40] Old
Shachi!
[12:41] Old
You're blushing, Shachi!
[12:43] Old
You're destroying your image!
[12:45] Shachi
It's not like I wanted an X on my forehead.
[12:48] Shachi
I'm fine with turning it into a semicolon.
[12:51] A
Stop, Shachi!
[12:52] A
You look cool! The X is cool!
[12:54] A
Don't worry! You're rocking that X!
[12:56] Shachi
I don't care if I look cool or not.
[12:59] Shachi
And I don't care how my clothes look if they're comfortable!
[13:03] Shachi
I'm never gonna wear shoulder pads again!
[13:06] Old
A hissy fit!
[13:07] Old
Shachi's throwing a hissy fit!
[13:09] Shachi
Hey, bastard!
[13:10] Shachi
You said that someone was laughing at me?
[13:12] A
Nobody was laughing!
[13:13] A
Nobody was laughing at you, Shachi!
[13:15] Shachi
Tell me who it was!
[13:16] B
No, Shachi!
[13:17] B
He's messing with you!
[13:18] B
You're letting him mess with you!
[13:19] Gin
Sorry, I can't tell you.
[13:22] Gin
I might be in prison, but I ain't lousy enough to squeal.
[13:26] A
H-Hey, what's he doing?
[13:29] B
Impossible...
[13:30] B
Is he protecting us?
[13:33] Gin
If I squeal, you'll kill him, right?
[13:36] Gin
We can't afford to cause any trouble right now.
[13:41] Shachi
I don't give a damn!
[13:43] Shachi
If I let this go, my street cred is ruined!
[13:46] Shachi
Now I have to kill you!
[13:49] Gin
That would be smart.
[13:51] Gin
I won't have to rat out my buddies.
[13:54] Gin
And you won't have to kill yours.
[13:57] Gin
We're both grown men.
[14:00] Gin
So man up.
[14:07] Shachi
That's the second time I've seen
[14:09] ---
a person with that look in this cesspool.
[14:12] Shachi
Boys, line up and close your eyes.
[14:14] All
Huh?
[14:15] Shachi
I'll let you settle this.
[14:17] Shachi
Don't worry.
[14:19] Shachi
We didn't see anything happen, and we know nothing.
[14:23] Old
I didn't see this coming!
[14:26] Old
What is he doing?!
[14:26] Old
What is he trying to do?!
[14:28] Gin
Run.
[14:30] Old
I see!
[14:31] Old
We're going to use this chance to run away, newbie!
[14:33] Gin
Oof.
[14:42] Old
Wh-Wha...
[14:43] Old
What are you doing?!
[14:48] Shachi
H-Hey!
[14:50] Shachi
What's the meaning of this?!
[14:52] Gin
If I only punished one of them,
[14:53] ---
you'd be able to tell who it was from his injuries.
[14:55] Gin
So we'll just have everyone share the pain, and you can let this go.
[15:01] Gin
Take care of your buddies.
[15:04] Shachi
B-Bro!
[15:12] Guard
Looks like you got in a big fight.
[15:15] A
No, we just had a little internal scuffle.
[15:18] Guard
Huh?
[15:19] B
Just give me my pudding, old timer.
[15:21] Guard
What?
[15:23] Guard
H-Hey, don't think you'll get away with disrespecting me...
[15:31] Shachi
Bro! Bro!
[15:36] Guard
What the hell?!
[15:38] Shachi
Bro!
[15:41] Old
After the newbie turned Shachi's gang to his side,
[15:44] Old
the warden continued to harass him.
[15:47] Guard
Listen up, freaks!
[15:49] Guard
Mr. Katou, the guard here had something stolen from him!
[15:52] Guard
We'll be searching each cell!
[15:55] B
I found a strange DVD in cell 316!
[15:58] Honda
That's my porn!
[16:00] Guard
Cell 316...
[16:03] Guard
Sakata, it was you?!
[16:05] Guard
You're headed straight to the disciplinary room!
[16:06] Gin
Why would I steal a DVD when I'm stuck in a cell without a TV?
[16:10] Guard
You haven't had any contact with women.
[16:12] Guard
The cover is all you needed.
[16:15] Gin
I don't let the cover fool me!
[16:17] Gin
I also check the images on the back!
[16:20] Guard
Shut up!
[16:21] Guard
In any case, this DVD was under your bed!
[16:23] Gin
Warden, nobody said anything about this DVD being under my bed.
[16:28] Gin
How did you know where it was?
[16:30] Guard
Enough of your chatter!
[16:32] Guard
I saw him pull the DVD out from under your bed!
[16:35] Gin
You saw him pull it out?
[16:36] Gin
Then...
[16:38] Gin
Why didn't you notice that the cover had been removed?
[16:43] Guard
Th-That's because...
[16:45] Guard
I borrowed that DVD once.
[16:47] Guard
And it had a cover back then.
[16:48] Guard
With images on it...
[16:51] A
Y-Yes!
[16:52] A
There was a cover on it yesterday!
[16:54] A
You must be trying to conceal the evidence!
[16:56] Gin
Oh, really.
[16:57] Gin
If it was there yesterday and it's gone now,
[17:00] Gin
the person who removed the cover must be the culprit.
[17:03] Gin
Isn't that right?
[17:05] Gin
Thank you for confessing to the crime, Warden.
SIGN Bound Prisoner
[17:11] Guard
Th-This is...!
[17:12] Guard
Could he have slipped it in then?!
[17:14] Shachi
Enough already!
[17:16] Shachi
Who do you think you are, trying to frame our bro?!
[17:19] Men
Don't screw with us!
[17:20] Guard
No...
[17:20] Shachi
A guard stealing?! Have you no shame?!
[17:23] Shachi
You should cut open your belly.
[17:25] All
Seppuku! Seppuku! Seppuku!
[17:27] Guard
Bastard...
[17:28] Guard
He turned my own trap against me!
[17:30] All
Seppuku! Seppuku!
[17:33] Gin
Boys, that's enough.
[17:36] Gin
I'm sure he just shifted the blame on me
[17:38] ---
because he forgot to return the DVD.
[17:41] Gin
Let him have his cover art,
[17:44] Gin
since that's all the warden apparently needs.
[17:46] Shachi
He definitely isn't getting any!
[17:55] Gin
Man, that guy is a joke.
[17:57] Gin
I'm not equipped to deal with a kid in puberty.
[18:00] Guard
Did he finish his letter?
[18:02] Guard
Hand it over then.
[18:04] Gin
The evil guard is delivering mail in the middle of the night?
[18:07] Gin
You're pretty diligent.
[18:10] Guard
Remember this.
[18:12] Guard
When an evil guard comes to see you in secret,
[18:15] Guard
it's either to make a deal or to make a threat.
[18:18] Gin
I'm not interested in either.
[18:21] Guard
Even if I'm offering to set you free?
[18:24] Guard
It's very simple.
[18:26] Guard
I need you to start a ruckus.
[18:28] Guard
Play the role of a troublemaker.
[18:31] Guard
If you do as I say, I'll give you a ticket to freedom.
[18:37] Gin
Let's just cut to the chase.
[18:39] Gin
You want to screw up the plans of Gramps here.
[18:41] Gin
All that pestering him for money was just to provoke him.
[18:45] Gin
You were trying to drive him into making trouble.
[18:49] Gin
That's why you were picking a fight with me.
[18:51] Gin
You wanted him to be associated with a troublemaker
[18:53] Gin
so you could get his clemency revoked.
[18:55] Gin
So he won't be able to see his son...
[18:58] Gin
Yet you keep delivering his letters.
[19:02] ---
What's the deal?
[19:03] Guard
Like I said, I enjoy playing with the toys in this pen.
[19:09] Guard
Give that letter to Gramps.
[19:14] Guard
When it comes time to break a toy,
[19:17] ---
the higher they are, the harder they fall.
[19:27] Shachi
Bro!
[19:29] Shachi
Say "ahhh"!
[19:32] Gin
Hey, why are you turning my happy dessert time
[19:35] ---
into a Resident Evil moment?
[19:37] Shachi
Because you don't seem to have much of an appetite...
[19:40] Gin
That's because you've been spreading T-Virus everywhere.
[19:43] Gin
Go back to Raccoon City!
[19:44] Old
I'll eat it for you then...
[19:47] Gin
A living corpse should eat porridge and go, "Itchy. Tasty."
[19:53] Old
Oh, I believe that you sent out that letter for me yesterday.
[19:57] Old
I appreciate it.
[19:58] Old
Was there a reply yet?
[20:01] Gin
Nope.
[20:03] Old
I see...
[20:04] Shachi
Hey, Gramps.
[20:05] Shachi
Did your long-awaited meeting fall through?
[20:08] Old
Eh?!
[20:08] Old
Of course not!
[20:10] Old
Didn't you send an entry to the Shounen Jump Treasure contest?!
[20:14] Old
Did you get a reply?!
[20:15] Shachi
How did you know that?!
[20:16] Old
A prisoner was about to kill himself when a reaper appeared before him!
[20:22] Old
Could you be any more emo?!
[20:25] Gin
Hey, stop it, Gramps.
[20:28] A
Don't worry, Bro.
[20:30] A
Ever since you chased off the warden,
[20:33] A
he's been too embarrassed to show himself.
[20:37] Shachi
We can use this chance to take revenge on the
[20:40] ---
guards who have abused us.
[20:43] Shachi
Riot!
[20:44] Shachi
Let's pull a prison version of Resident Evil
[20:46] ---
and teach that evil warden a lesson!
[20:50] Gin
If you do that, all of the prisoners will be blamed.
[20:54] Gin
You criminals on death row probably don't care,
[20:58] Gin
but I'm an innocent man.
[21:00] Shachi
Bro! We're not on death row!
[21:02] Gin
You are.
[21:04] Gin
Since you were born, you've had crows
[21:06] Gin
pecking at your brain until it was passport-sized.
[21:08] Old
Yeah!
[21:09] Old
I won't get to see my son!
[21:11] Old
You'll lose your shot at the Treasure award!
[21:13] Shachi
I haven't lost my shot!
[21:15] Shachi
It hasn't even started!
[21:17] Shachi
Bah, I'll give up since my Treasure award is on the line.
[21:21] Shachi
But Bro, the prisoners here hate the warden's guts.
[21:25] Shachi
Especially the felons.
[21:27] Shachi
They have nothing to lose, so who knows what they'll do.
[21:30] Shachi
If they get started, we won't be able to stop them.
[21:33] Gin
Good grief.
[21:35] Gin
You got plenty of troublemakers here, warden.
SIGN Admit Your Own Mistakes
[21:40] Gin
Gramps, you better keep an eye on them if you want to see your son.
[21:45] Gin
I'll deal with the warden before he gets any funny ideas.
[21:49] Old
How?
[21:51] Gin
I'll start a ruckus.
[21:54] Gin
But it's going to be my own.
SIGN To be continued...
SIGN Next Episode: Everybody Loves Pajamas
[23:30] Gin
Next time:
[23:31] Gin
Everybody loves pajamas.
[23:33] Gin
Jammies!
E226 - "Everybody loves pajamas"
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] N
Greetings.
[00:02] N
The fall days are very comfortable.
[00:06] N
How is your health?
[00:08] N
I am doing well.
[00:09] N
Recently, there's been a change in my life.
[00:11] N
I have a new roommate in my cell.
[00:15] N
I'm not sure if he's pure evil or just a fool.
[00:20] N
One thing's for sure.
[00:21] N
He's the reason I'm able to continue writing letters to you.
[00:27] N
It won't be long before we are able to meet.
[00:30] N
I hope to tell you much about my roommate, my friend.
[00:35] N
I eagerly anticipate the day.
[00:38] N
Sincerely yours.
SIGN Everybody Loves Pajamas
[02:22] A
Hey, Gramps.
[02:24] A
Where's your partner?
[02:25] N
Oh, he went to the restroom.
[02:28] A
What? I told you to always get permission and
[02:30] ---
accompany him to the restroom.
[02:31] N
Sorry, he's taking a dump, so I figured I shouldn't tag along.
[02:36] A
Oh, it's okay.
[02:37] A
Shachi needed to take a dump, so he tagged along.
[02:40] A
That's not the issue here.
[02:42] N
Oh, now I need to take a dump.
[02:44] N
Will you come with me, guard?
[02:46] A
Why?!
[02:48] Shachi
Bro, if they find us,
[02:50] ---
they won't even bother sending us to the disciplinary room.
[02:52] Gin
That's right.
[02:53] Gin
I want to go to the warden's room,
[02:55] ---
not the disciplinary room, Shake-kun.
[02:57] Shachi
It's Shachi.
[02:58] Gin
We're going to find proof that he's breaking the law.
[03:00] Gin
Weren't you his pawn?
[03:01] Gin
Show me the way, Hamachi-kun.
[03:02] Shachi
It's Shachi!
[03:03] Shachi
It's impossible!
[03:05] Shachi
Do you realize how many locked doors we have to go through?!
[03:09] B
Yes, this is Kamiya.
[03:10] B
What?! What are you doing, you idiot?!
[03:13] Shachi
Damn, did they find out that we ditched our work?
[03:16] B
You lost the keys?!
[03:17] B
Were they stolen?!
[03:18] Shachi
I guess it wasn't us.
[03:21] Shachi
We need to get back before we're caught.
[03:23] Gin
Grow a spine.
[03:25] Gin
They're busy looking for whoever stole the keys.
[03:27] Gin
They won't care about a couple fellows skipping work.
[03:30] Gin
Let's go.
[03:31] Shachi
They're gonna care!
[03:33] Shachi
Because the person who stole the keys is right here!
[03:35] Gin
Huh? Where?
[03:36] Shachi
It's you! Why are you acting surprised?!
[03:38] Gin
I didn't steal anything.
[03:40] Gin
I just picked up the keys after someone dropped them.
[03:41] Gin
And I'm going to give them back.
[03:43] Shachi
That doesn't make it okay!
[03:46] Shachi
Bro, you're going all the way this time.
[03:49] Gin
Yeah, time for revenge, Itachi-kun.
[03:51] Shachi
That's not even close to my name.
[03:53] Gin
Okay, let's disguise ourselves so we don't stand out.
[03:56] Shachi
You're the man, Bro.
[03:57] Shachi
You must have stolen clothes from the guards.
[04:00] Gin
Listen up.
[04:01] Gin
I'm a guard in pajamas.
[04:03] Gin
You're the prisoner I'm bringing in.
[04:05] Shachi
Nothing's changed!
[04:07] Shachi
How are you a guard in pajamas?!
[04:08] Shachi
The only difference is you're wearing a western style prison uniform
[04:10] Shachi
instead of an Asian one!
[04:11] Gin
Don't blame me.
[04:12] Gin
The guard was working a night shift so he had his pajamas on.
[04:15] Shachi
Why was the guard wearing pajamas like that?!
[04:18] Shachi
Hell, you might as well be naked!
[04:20] Gin
Don't worry.
[04:22] Gin
If I put on a bandanna and carry a stick...
[04:24] Gin
See? Don't I look like a guard in pajamas?
[04:27] Shachi
Don't act like guards in pajamas are a common phenomenon!
[04:30] Shachi
Nobody's seen one before!
[04:31] Gin
Then I won't pretend to be a guard.
[04:33] Gin
I'm a pajama kid with a pillow and I don't believe in ghosts.
[04:36] Shachi
Why would a pajama kid be walking around with a prisoner?!
[04:39] Shachi
And who cares if you believe in ghosts?!
[04:40] Shachi
What's that in your right hand?!
[04:43] Shachi
What are we supposed to say if they find us?!
[04:45] C
Hey! What are you guys doing?!
[04:48] D
Why is a prisoner here with a pajama kid?!
[04:51] C
What's going on?!
[04:51] C
Don't move!
[04:54] Shachi
K-Keep it down!
[04:56] Shachi
Or this pajama kid is gonna get it!
[04:59] Gin
H-Help me pajama!
[05:02] C
I see!
[05:03] C
He's taken the pajama kid hostage so he can escape!
[05:06] D
Wait, why is this pajama kid even here?!
[05:08] Gin
Shut up! Everyone wants to be a pajama kid!
[05:11] Gin
If you keep talking, these pajamas will be torn apart!
[05:14] D
Stop! Don't hurt the pajamas!
[05:16] Shachi
Why are you a bad guy now?!
[05:18] Shachi
Raise your hands! Outta the way!
[05:20] Shachi
Clear the path!
[05:21] Shachi
Listen to me.
[05:22] Shachi
If you follow me, you know what's gonna happen!
[05:25] Shachi
These white lines will be completely red!
[05:27] Gin
About face, then march!
[05:29] Gin
Then go into the locker room and change into your pajamas!
[05:32] Gin
Listen to me, if you button them wrong, you know what's gonna happen!
[05:36] D
G-Got it.
[05:37] Gin
Go!
[05:45] E
We're on high alert!
[05:47] E
Get the prisoners into their cells!
[05:49] B
Were they really stolen?
[05:51] F
I-I'm sorry...
[05:52] B
Apologizing isn't going to help!
[05:54] B
Where's the warden?
[05:55] F
Well, he's out right now.
[05:55] N
They've been found out...
[05:57] B
Damn, why now?!
[05:58] C
Come in.
[06:01] C
This is the warden speaking.
[06:04] B
The warden?
[06:05] C
Yes, I wanted everyone to gather in one place.
[06:09] B
Who are you?!
[06:10] B
You're not the warden!
[06:11] C
I'm the warden.
[06:13] C
But I'm not feeling well,
[06:17] C
so someone else is doing the talking for me.
[06:23] A
W-Warden!
[06:25] C
Welcome to our land, guards.
SIGN Warden's Office
[06:31] Shachi
This is bad, Bro!
[06:32] Shachi
We need to hurry!
[06:34] Shachi
Damn! I can't find anything incriminating!
[06:37] Shachi
Bro!
[06:38] Gin
I had the kids on the outside do some research.
[06:41] Gin
I gave them one of the letters the old man's been getting
[06:44] Gin
and told them to check the address.
[06:46] Shachi
Why are you bringing this up now, Bro?
[06:49] Gin
They went to the address to see his son.
[06:52] Gin
But they didn't find him.
[06:54] Shachi
He wasn't there?
[06:55] Gin
No.
[06:56] Gin
And it wasn't just the wrong address.
[06:59] Gin
He's no longer in this world.
[07:02] Shachi
You mean...
[07:04] Gin
His son died ten years ago.
[07:08] Gin
Of disease.
[07:10] Gin
He's been writing letters to someone who will never get them.
[07:16] Gin
That would explain why he never got any responses.
[07:20] Gin
But at some point, he began to receive frequent replies.
[07:25] Gin
From someone who no longer existed...
[07:28] Shachi
Who was it?!
[07:30] Shachi
Were those letters written by a ghost?!
[07:34] D
Our positions have been reversed, warden.
[07:38] E
Hey, warden.
[07:40] E
Looks like your own men hate you as much as the prisoners do.
[07:44] E
Hey, if you don't come out,
[07:47] E
we'll take out all our stress on the warden!
[07:52] E
Watch closely.
[07:54] E
We're going to beat the warden to death!
[07:58] N
Stop!
[08:02] N
Stop this nonsense. It's for your own good.
[08:07] E
Hey, unlock that door.
[08:12] E
Did you say something, old man?
[08:16] Gin
For an old man who was stuck in prison for the rest of his life,
[08:19] Gin
his son was the only light in his dark world.
[08:24] Gin
But it was an illusion.
[08:26] Gin
There was no light.
[08:30] Gin
But you couldn't take that away from him.
[08:34] Gin
When you're sitting behind bars, the whole world is an illusion.
[08:37] Gin
So he gave him what he could.
[08:43] Gin
That would explain why they only made small talk.
SIGN From your son.
[08:51] C
You're...
[08:53] Warden
Bastards, you think you can get away with touching my toys?
[09:01] Warden
I'm sending you all to the disciplinary room.
[09:11] Shachi
I never imagined that the sick and twisted warden was
[09:15] ---
doing this for the old man.
[09:17] Shachi
He pretended to be the old man's son to hide his death.
[09:23] Gin
If the old man is allowed to see his son,
[09:25] ---
these letters will have been for nothing.
[09:27] Gin
That's why he's been trying to get me to make trouble.
[09:32] Gin
To get his clemency revoked.
[09:35] Shachi
Why would the warden do this?
[09:37] Gin
Beats me.
[09:38] Gin
He probably doesn't know either.
[09:49] G
Attention, criminals!
[09:51] G
Open the doors and release the guards at once!
[09:54] G
Or else you will all have your sentences increased!
[09:58] B
You're the ones who locked us up in here!
[10:01] B
We're just making ourselves comfortable!
[10:04] Shachi
Shit, they started a riot!
[10:07] Gin
The warden's wish came true in an unexpected way.
[10:11] Gin
The old man's clemency ain't happening now.
[10:13] Shachi
That doesn't matter!
[10:14] Shachi
Those guys aren't gonna let the warden live!
[10:17] Shachi
The old man's in danger, too!
[10:18] Gin
Can't have that.
[10:19] Gin
If he dies, there won't be anyone to prove my innocence.
[10:23] Gin
Besides , I finally found evidence of his evil.
[10:27] Gin
I'll make him pay for the crime of fooling a weak old man.
[10:32] Shachi
Bro, was that your goal from the beginning?
[10:35] Gin
Thanks for the help.
[10:38] Gin
Now hide.
[10:39] Gin
If you mess around any more, they'll hang you.
[10:42] Shachi
Wait, you were using me for your own petty reasons?
[10:47] Shachi
It's my turn to use you.
[10:50] Shachi
I don't give a damn about the old man or the guards.
[10:54] Shachi
But I can't let our sentences be extended because of one stupid warden.
[10:59] Shachi
I'll act as a decoy and draw the attention of the guards.
[11:01] Shachi
Use that opening to deal with this riot.
[11:03] Gin
Wait, that's...
[11:05] Shachi
Go crazy and get some more time tacked onto your sentence.
[11:08] Shachi
Then we can continue to have a blast in this place.
[11:12] Gin
Hey, wait!
[11:14] H
Hey, look!
[11:16] H
It's Shachi!
[11:17] H
Get him!
[11:18] Shachi
Catch me if you can.
[11:22] Shachi
But it won't be easy to grab the sleeve of the king of criminals!
[11:27] H
Your sleeves were ripped off!
[11:28] Shachi
I'm counting on you, Bro.
[11:30] Gin
Yeah, I got this, Buri.
[11:34] Shachi
It's Shachi!
[11:37] G
Damn! They used the commotion to run away!
[11:40] F
Shachi's men aren't around either!
[11:42] C
Damn! If the hostages escape, we'll be crushed!
[11:45] C
Find them!
[11:51] B
Warden, a lot of men have been injured.
[11:55] B
We need to get them medical care.
[11:56] B
Old man, hang in there. Hey, old man!
[12:00] Warden
The prisoners want me.
[12:02] Warden
I'll hold them here.
[12:05] B
What?
[12:06] B
But you'll be...
[12:08] A
Are you trying to get yourself killed?!
[12:10] Warden
Give this to the old man.
SIGN Kuzunosuke Beri
[12:13] Warden
It's the last letter.
[12:16] D
Found ya.
[12:18] D
Hey, what are you all doing here?
[12:23] Warden
Move it!
[12:24] Warden
If you don't hurry, I'll throw you into the disciplinary room!
[12:27] B
Warden! We'll be back with help as soon as we can!
[12:29] A
Don't die!
[12:30] Guards
Warden!
[12:35] Warden
Greetings.
[12:36] Warden
I apologize that this isn't a letter from your son.
[12:39] Warden
If you are reading this letter,
[12:43] Warden
it means that I have disappeared for one reason or another,
[12:45] Warden
and you are no longer receiving letters from your son.
[12:50] Warden
However, you don't need to worry.
[12:52] Warden
Your son is doing fine.
[12:55] Warden
His work has taken him to another planet,
[12:57] Warden
so it's difficult for him to send letters.
[13:01] Warden
There is a lot of paperwork that has to be done
[13:03] Warden
before you can receive mail from another planet.
[13:06] Warden
I apologize that I was unable to continue delivering his letters.
[13:12] Warden
I'm sure that you no longer remember,
[13:15] Warden
but when I was first assigned this position,
[13:18] ---
I was a complete outsider.
[13:20] Warden
After causing trouble everywhere I went,
[13:22] ---
my parents dumped me in prison.
[13:27] Warden
The hardened criminals weren't going
[13:28] ---
to listen to a clueless young fool,
[13:32] Warden
and the guards resented me for my connections.
[13:38] Warden
I would often find myself going to the oldest prisoner, you.
[13:44] Warden
The rules of the prison,
[13:46] Warden
methods for handling nasty prisoners,
[13:49] Warden
the way to strike underhanded deals,
[13:51] Warden
as well as the fact that the outside light was a ray of hope
[13:55] Warden
for the prisoners in their dark cells...
[13:57] Warden
I learned everything from you.
[14:01] Warden
I can't say that I'm a respectable member of society.
[14:04] Warden
I'm aware that I have nothing to be proud of.
[14:08] Warden
However, you're the reason I'm able to stand
[14:11] ---
on my own, unsightly legs.
[14:15] Warden
All I could manage was to help deliver these letters.
[14:18] Warden
However, I would be happy to know that they gave you hope.
[14:24] Warden
There will be a significant delay before the next letter arrives,
[14:28] Warden
but please don't forget that there is
[14:30] ---
someone outside who is thinking of you.
[14:33] Warden
Please remember that your son is not the only person
[14:37] ---
who cares about you.
[14:39] Warden
It was nice knowing you.
[14:43] Warden
From the evil prison warden.
[14:46] C
We finally shut him up.
[14:49] D
Hey, we're not finished with you yet.
[14:52] D
Excellent.
[14:53] D
It's your favorite place, the disciplinary room.
SIGN Disciplinary Room
[14:56] D
This will make the perfect tomb.
[14:58] D
Time to pay you back for all the abuse.
[15:11] Gin
Hey, I have something to tell you guys who are
[15:14] ---
never returning to society.
[15:16] Gin
When entering someone else's cell, knock first.
[15:19] Gin
That's prison etiquette.
[15:20] Gin
Especially when you're entering the disciplinary room.
[15:23] Gin
There might be a really violent criminal inside.
[15:27] All
Son of a bitch!
[15:30] Warden
B-Bastard...
[15:32] Warden
Why are you here?
[15:35] Gin
It's too early for you to die.
[15:37] Gin
You haven't met your father yet, you stupid son.
[15:40] Warden
Bastard...
[15:42] F
Hey! Have you forgotten what he did to us?!
[15:45] Gin
I haven't forgotten.
[15:46] Gin
Let me handle this.
[15:48] Gin
You've blown off enough steam.
[15:50] Gin
If you still need some exercise, I'll be happy to take you on.
[15:54] Gin
Well, warden?
[15:55] Gin
Did you forget your promise to me?
[15:57] Gin
If I make trouble, you'll set me free.
[16:01] Gin
Now, who's the most stressed out guy here?
[16:04] Gin
Let's start the first Tournament of Stress!
[16:07] Prisoners
Bring it!
[16:09] Gin
Welcome to my disciplinary room!
[16:13] F
Warden!
[16:15] F
Are you okay, Warden?
[16:17] B
What? I don't see any of the prisoners who were rioting.
[16:20] F
Over there! There's a prisoner!
[16:22] F
Why is he in a western uniform?!
[16:24] B
Hey, stop!
[16:25] B
Where are you going?!
[16:26] Warden
Enough.
[16:28] B
Warden!
[16:29] Warden
Set him free.
[16:31] B
Huh?
[16:32] Warden
These prison walls can't contain him.
[16:39] I
The prison's really calmed down.
[16:42] J
We got prison guards and prisoners sleeping next to each other.
[16:46] I
They all need to relax.
[16:49] J
Still, I'm surprised they haven't hanged us yet.
[16:53] I
That's the thing.
[16:54] I
I heard that we won't be punished.
[16:56] J
Huh? Why not?
[16:57] J
The warden isn't going to let us off.
[16:59] I
Didn't you hear? The warden...
[17:06] Gin
I heard that you're going to shoulder the prisoners' crimes.
[17:12] Warden
I knew that it was risky to play with prisoners
[17:16] Warden
since there are people like you.
[17:19] Gin
What I did was nothing compared to your letter business.
[17:21] Gin
You chose a kind illusion over harsh reality.
[17:25] Gin
Since you made that choice,
[17:28] Gin
you're obligated to keep up the lie until the very end.
[17:34] Gin
But you got scared
[17:36] Gin
that he would eventually find out you were lying.
[17:39] Gin
So you gave up and ran away.
[17:43] Gin
As a result, the old man's being allowed to meet up with his son again.
[17:47] Warden
I no longer have the right to walk through this door.
[17:51] Gin
You don't have the right to whine either.
[17:54] Gin
You're supposed to be an evil warden.
[17:57] Gin
Tell the old man the harsh truth and laugh in his face,
[18:01] Gin
or keep feeding him illusions until the day he dies.
[18:03] Gin
One or the other.
[18:05] Gin
Make sure the old man knows your decision.
[18:07] Gin
And then I'll forgive you for throwing me in the slammer.
[18:11] Gin
Or else, I'll send your head flying and go back to jail.
[18:17] Warden
If I'm an evil warden, you're a demon.
[18:22] Warden
The old man never told me
[18:25] ---
that it was so hard to give prisoners hope.
[18:30] Warden
I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
[18:33] Gin
True, you've been fooling the old man for a long time.
[18:38] Gin
You pretended to be his son and offered him false hope.
[18:43] Gin
But your feelings for the old man are no illusion.
[18:49] Gin
Come on. It's time for the meeting.
[18:51] Warden
Wait, I no longer...
[18:53] Gin
No longer have the right to go in?
[18:56] Gin
That's not true.
[19:01] Gin
I have a criminal who's been
[19:03] ---
accused of falsifying documents and identity fraud!
[19:06] Shachi
O-Okay, get in here, maggot!
[19:08] Shachi
The victim is waiting in the visiting room,
[19:10] Shachi
you mother-licking insect!
[19:12] Warden
Y-You bastards...
[19:15] D
Yes, pajamas are the best.
[19:18] C
I don't see anything happening.
[19:26] Gin
Warden, time for some of the best prison role playing of your life.
[19:32] Shachi
Listen up, you have ten minutes.
[19:34] Shachi
Any longer and the chief will find out...
[19:36] Shachi
I mean, you're not allowed to meet any longer!
[19:38] Shachi
Got it?
[19:47] N
Good grief.
[19:49] N
We have so many nasty-looking guards around now.
[19:57] N
I heard that you quit your job.
[20:00] N
Do you have another job yet?
[20:03] Warden
No, I'm searching still.
[20:07] N
I see...
[20:12] N
Well, I wish you the best of luck.
[20:16] N
Try not to get yourself called an evil warden again.
[20:21] Warden
Yeah...
[20:26] N
Guard, we're finished.
[20:29] Shachi
Huh? Already?
[20:32] Warden
Wait, old man!
[20:33] Warden
I've been...
[20:35] N
Don't say anything.
[20:37] N
We were able to make small talk, just like always.
[20:42] N
That's all I need.
[20:44] Warden
Old man, did you...
[20:49] N
I read the letter.
[20:51] N
It was better than usual.
[20:54] N
But your handwriting is still ugly.
SIGN Kuzunosuke Beri
[20:58] N
Warden, I've always been writing letters to my son outside.
[21:05] N
A son who turned out to have a nasty personality,
[21:11] N
but that foolish son of mine is dedicated to his job.
[21:16] N
I'm glad I was able to see you today.
[21:22] N
Will you continue to write?
[21:35] Warden
Yeah, I will.
[21:39] N
It's a promise.
[21:41] Warden
Yeah, whoever breaks the promise gets sent to the disciplinary room.
[21:47] Gin
Ow!
SIGN Next Episode: Speaking of Crossovers, Don't Forget About Alien vs. Predator
[23:30] A
Next week at this time:
[23:32] A
Sket Dance!
[23:33] A
For real?!
[23:34] ---
E227 - Speaking of crossovers, don't forget about Alien vs. Predator
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Speaking of Crossovers, Don't Forget About Alien vs. Predator
[01:33] Gin
Hey, listen up, guys.
[01:35] Gin
We have a special treat this week
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[01:38] Gin
to commemorate the 26th
episode of the new season.
[01:40] Both
A special treat?
[01:42] Shin
Wait, 26 is kind of a random number.
[01:45] Gin
Basically, we were told to do
a crossover with Sket Dance,
[01:49] Gin
since the anime started at
the same time as ours.
[01:50] Shin
Really, Gin-san?
[01:52] Shin
They're finally letting us do that too?
[01:54] Shin
I figured that Jump and TV
Tokyo hated our guts by now.
[01:58] Kagura
Since we keep causing problems.
[02:01] Shin
But now I'm nervous,
[02:02] Shin
since I'm actually a pretty shy guy.
[02:04] Kagura
What is there to be scared about?
[02:06] Kagura
We've done plenty of crossovers.
[02:09] Kagura
Have you forgotten when
we shared the screen
[02:11] Kagura
with Dragonball, One Piece,
Bleach, and other classics?
[02:13] Shin
Uh, those were just parodies
we did without permission.
[02:15] Shin
That would be one of the reasons
I figured that everybody hated us.
[02:19] Gin
Hey, don't get too excited.
[02:20] Gin
This might be a crossover,
[02:22] Gin
but our goal isn't to
have a happy pow-wow.
[02:25] Both
Huh?
[02:26] Gin
Check out the data I've collected.
[02:28] Gin
Pay attention now.
[02:29] Gin
Sket Dance is a comedy
manga with a school setting
[02:33] Gin
that began running in Jump in 2007.
[02:36] Gin
The anime began airing in 2011 at the
same time the new Gintama began airing.
[02:41] Gin
The Sket Dan is a school club that
does odd jobs with three members:
[02:45] Gin
The leader, Bossun.
[02:46] Gin
The brains, Switch.
[02:47] Gin
The straight man/muscle, Himeko.
[02:49] Gin
The manga's pretty episodic with
plenty of laughter and tears.
[02:53] Kagura
Hold on, Gin-chan!
[02:54] Kagura
Look at their time slot!
[02:56] Kagura
It's 6:00 PM on Thursday!
[02:58] Shin
Huh? Isn't that the old Gintama slot?!
[03:02] Gin
Exactly.
[03:03] Gin
In 2006, after it only took six months
for us to be booted from prime time,
[03:09] Gin
we spent the next 177 episodes
defending that fortress,
[03:12] Gin
and they just snatched it away from us.
[03:15] Shin
Snatched it away from us?
[03:16] Shin
It wasn't their decision.
[03:18] Shin
There were obviously extenuating
circumstances involved.
[03:19] Gin
Well, as I'm sure you can see even
from my vague explanation,
[03:23] Gin
these guys...
[03:25] Gin
...are clearly trying to supplant us!
[03:27] Shin
Uh, why are you trying to twist
everything before the crossover's even started?
[03:30] Gin
Clearly trying to overtake us!
[03:32] Shin
Why are you repeating yourself?
[03:34] Shin
Don't make false accusations.
[03:35] Shin
It's pretty common to find a story
about people doing odd jobs.
[03:38] Kagura
And there are lots of examples
of series with a trio.
[03:42] Kagura
Like this.
[03:43] Kagura
And this.
[03:43] Kagura
They're all the same.
[03:45] Shin
Uh, did you really
need to bring that up?
[03:48] Gin
Yeah, that's right.
[03:49] Gin
It's not the same.
[03:50] Gin
After all, one of them
uses a computer to talk.
[03:53] Gin
Their characters have more personality.
[03:55] Gin
Compared to that, just look at you, Shinpachi.
[03:58] Gin
Why do you talk normally?
[04:00] Gin
You want me to kill you?
[04:02] Gin
Kagura, why haven't you learned any
genuine Kansai-style witty retorts?
[04:06] Gin
Why haven't your boobs
gotten any bigger?
[04:08] Gin
Why are they shrinking?
[04:11] Kagura
What was that?!
[04:12] Kagura
You're the one who started
off wearing goggles
[04:14] Kagura
before they disappeared for no reason!
[04:17] Shin
Why don't you learn how to Connect?!
[04:18] Shin
Why don't you get yourself
a twin brother?!
[04:21] Gin
Shut up!
[04:21] Gin
I'm not gonna wear those
things around every episode!
[04:24] Gin
Don't you realize the limitations
of the author's drawing ability?!
[04:26] Gin
That's why the goggles were removed
from the beginning of the anime!
[04:30] Gin
You should be grateful you even get any
screen time in the opening sequences,
[04:33] Gin
you worthless goggles!
[04:34] Shin
Uh, are you talking to your goggles?
[04:37] Gin
Besides, in Jump,
characters with goggles
[04:39] Gin
are sidekicks like Usopp
and kid Konohamaru!
[04:43] Shin
Er, Naruto was wearing
goggles in volume 1.
[04:46] Gin
And compared to the One Piece
x Toriko crossover last spring,
[04:50] Gin
Gintama and Sket Dance
just lacks pizazz.
[04:52] ---
It's a boring crossover.
[04:54] Shin
That's not true!
[04:55] Shin
And don't blame them!
[04:56] Gin
Why did Jump bother with
this boring crossover?
[05:00] Gin
I guarantee that they're not
trying to get us all buddy-buddy.
[05:02] Shin
Then what's the point of this crossover?
[05:04] Bossun
That should be obvious.
[05:07] Gin
Wh-Who is it?!
[05:09] ---
You don't need two Jump shows
[05:10] ---
about people doing odd jobs
at 6 PM on TV Tokyo.
[05:13] ---
They're pitting us against one another
because of our similar settings.
[05:20] ---
To see whether the Sket Dan or you guys
are more worthy as Jump's odd jobbers!
[05:25] ---
Bastards!
[05:28] ---
I think it's amusing.
[05:29] ---
Let's go along with
Jump's little scheme.
[05:32] ---
We had to settle this sooner or later.
[05:35] ---
Stop that, Bossun. Show some respect.
[05:38] ---
They've been in Jump
longer than we have.
[05:41] ---
Sorry about that. He
usually isn't so rude.
[05:44] ---
He's a nice boy deep down.
[05:45] ---
Stop acting like my mom!
[05:46] ---
Bossun, that should be,
"Stop acting like my ma!"
[05:50] ---
You rock, Switch!
[05:51] ---
You already know how
to fit in this world!
[05:53] ---
I mean, ya already know
how to fit in this world!
[05:56] ---
Don't just barge in here
and start making fun of us!
[05:59] ---
Pisses me off!
[06:00] ---
You're destroying our characters!
[06:02] ---
You're clearly set on crushing us!
[06:04] ---
Hey, Himeko. Have they really
been around longer than us?
[06:07] ---
They seem really worried.
[06:09] ---
Bossun, that's the secret
to their success.
[06:13] ---
They've spent years pretending
to be the weak link
[06:15] ---
so they can bash other series
without any repercussions.
[06:17] ---
Stop spilling the beans,
four-eyed computer boy!
[06:20] ---
Want me to nail down your enter key?!
[06:21] ---
Spilling the beans?
[06:23] ---
Why are you talking to yourself
anyway? The hell is this?
[06:27] ---
What was that?! You wanna know how
it feels to talk to yourself?!
[06:31] ---
Shinpachi, let him have it!
[06:33] ---
What? Me?
[06:34] ---
Fine then.
[06:36] ---
H-Hold on...
[06:38] ---
Recite the 12th clause of the
Tsuu Terakado Fanclub creed!
[06:42] ---
Taka-chin!
[06:43] ---
E-Er, I'm not Taka-chin.
[06:46] ---
You can't fool me,
your childhood friend.
[06:48] ---
I mean, look.
[06:49] ---
What's up, Shin-chan?
[06:50] ---
I'm Taka-chin.
[06:51] ---
You can't fool me!
[06:53] ---
Then I'll send in Teppei.
[06:54] ---
Bossun, where are we?
[06:55] ---
This makes it harder for me!
[06:57] ---
Now, now. Stop fighting.
[07:01] ---
Okay, Runny Diarrhea.
[07:06] ---
R-Runny...
[07:08] ---
Teach, Bossun-kun and Pachi-boy-kun
made Himeko-san cry!
[07:12] ---
I'm not crying!
[07:13] ---
D-Does this mean...
[07:14] ---
It can't mean that...
[07:16] ---
I was cast as...
[07:18] ---
Jugem Jugem Shit-Tossing the Life of
[07:20] ---
Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear
[07:22] ---
Balmung Fezalion Issac Schneider
[07:25] ---
1/3 True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety
[07:29] ---
Betrayal Knows My Name Or Does It Really
[07:32] ---
Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish
Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish...
[07:35] ---
This Is a Different Dogfish,
[07:37] ---
I'm Talking About The Dogfish Shark
[07:38] ---
Kaluga Angler Ray
[07:39] ---
Yuuteimiyaoukimukou
Pepepepepepepepepepepepe
[07:42] ---
Runny Diarrhea
[07:43] ---
...just for this?!
[07:45] ---
Yes, just so we could do that.
[07:47] ---
That's despicable!
[07:49] ---
We get in the first word since our
side of the crossover airs earlier.
[07:54] ---
Now even in the parts of the manga
where we parodied other works,
[07:56] ---
people will think that
you're copying us.
[08:01] ---
Man, Gintama's desperate.
[08:04] ---
I'm kinda creeped out.
[08:06] ---
They aren't aware that
in most decisive battles,
[08:07] ---
the one who attacks first usually loses.
[08:11] ---
Fine then!
[08:13] ---
Let's make it clear which team has the
pizazz to be worthy of Jump.
[08:17] ---
This is supposed to be a crossover.
[08:19] ---
Let's all get along.
[08:21] ---
Hah, we'll show you that flashy battles
and special attacks aren't everything.
[08:26] ---
I doubt the viewers are
going to appreciate this.
[08:30] ---
Yeah, equally boring anime
shows should get along.
[08:34] ---
We should be glad that
we're still on air.
[08:38] ---
Shut up! This isn't just about our position.
[08:41] ---
Our pride as odd-jobbing Jumpers,
and our very existence, is on the line!
[08:44] ---
You mob characters should just
shut up and follow your leader!
[08:48] ---
That's right!
[08:49] ---
C'mon down! I got everything set up!
SIGN Impact
SIGN Amethystyx (Pachimon type) Capture Level -26
[09:12] ---
Gin-chan, where are we?
[09:14] ---
The Gintama world was already a stretch,
[09:17] ---
and now we're in a place
that's even weirder, Bossun.
[09:20] ---
Okay, quiet down.
[09:22] ---
Listen up.
[09:24] ---
We're going to have a little
scavenger hunt on this island.
[09:28] ---
Why are you talking like a teacher?
[09:30] ---
We're on Treasure Island, an island where
shiny gems grow on everything.
[09:37] ---
This sounds awfully familiar.
[09:40] ---
There is a legend that every hundred
years, the gems bear a very special fruit.
[09:44] ---
I have a really bad feeling about this.
[09:47] ---
Yes! One of the famous Devil Fruit!
[09:51] ---
The Pizazz-Pizazz Fruit!
[09:54] ---
Hold it right there!
[09:56] ---
This is supposed to be a Sket
Dance x Gintama crossover!
[09:58] ---
But now we're in the Toriko
x One Piece crossover!
[10:01] ---
We might be boring, but
that doesn't make it okay
[10:03] ---
to steal ideas from series
that have more pizazz!
[10:06] ---
Toriko and One Piece?
[10:08] ---
What are they babbling about?
[10:11] ---
You must have had some of
that Dream-Dream Fruit.
[10:14] ---
They're starting to piss me off.
[10:14] ---
Hopeless fools.
[10:16] ---
They must have eaten
the Argh-Argh Fruit.
[10:19] ---
As you may have guessed,
[10:21] ---
the Pizazz-Pizazz fruit can
give the dullest people pizazz!
[10:25] ---
Whoever finds it first,
[10:27] ---
will be declared the winner of the contest
with the flashiness worthy of Jump!
[10:31] ---
I thought we were fighting over who
had the pizazz worthy of Jump.
[10:34] ---
But now we've given up?
[10:36] ---
We're going to rely on outside help?
[10:37] ---
I have a question.
[10:39] ---
Does this Devil Fruit
have any side effects,
[10:42] ---
such as turning one
into a hammer in water?
[10:43] ---
It's fine. You won't lose
the ability to swim.
[10:46] ---
I see. So you've changed
the setting a little.
[10:51] ---
Only your crotch turns into a hammer.
[10:54] ---
I see, that's good.
[10:56] ---
Huh?
[10:57] ---
What did you just say?
[10:58] ---
Well, it's only your crotch
that turns into a hammer,
[11:02] ---
so you don't need to worry.
[11:04] ---
I'm worried!
[11:05] ---
Why is there a hammer down there?!
[11:08] ---
Stop that, seriously.
[11:10] ---
We're supposed to be innocent,
unlike you people.
[11:13] ---
We don't do dirty jokes!
[11:15] ---
Himeko-san, I'll handle this.
[11:17] ---
As the straight man, I'm used
to this, so leave it to me!
[11:21] ---
The hammer's upside down!
[11:24] ---
It should be like this!
[11:26] ---
Who cares?!
[11:27] ---
Aren't you supposed to be
the Gintama straight man?!
[11:30] ---
Why are you acting like the funny man?!
[11:32] ---
I'm not going to last long if I
have to respond to both sides!
[11:35] ---
I'm sorry, I thought I
could let you handle it.
[11:39] ---
Right. So who cares if
it's upside down or not.
[11:41] ---
If I have a hammer on my
crotch, I can't get married.
[11:43] ---
Are you going to take responsibility?
[11:44] ---
Isn't that right, Kagura-chan?
[11:46] ---
Why? What's the problem?
[11:47] ---
A hammer makes a better
weapon than a hockey stick.
[11:52] ---
I asked the wrong person!
[11:54] ---
No, no! Think this through!
[11:55] ---
You can't survive in this wacky manga
[11:57] ---
when you have a hammer on your crotch!
[12:00] ---
You don't need to worry.
[12:01] ---
If you grow a hammer down there,
Bossun will boss into a nail for you.
[12:06] ---
What the hell?
[12:07] ---
What's that mean?
[12:07] ---
Why would I boss into a nail?
[12:10] ---
Hey, bitch. Enough already.
[12:13] ---
Did you call me a bitch?!
[12:14] ---
You aren't in your puny
little school anymore.
[12:17] ---
In this world, your crotch
can grow into a screwdriver
[12:20] ---
or your balls can get
crushed at any time.
[12:23] ---
What kind of world is this?
[12:24] ---
If you want to do odd jobs,
[12:25] ---
you gotta be ready for your
crotch to do odd jobs.
[12:28] ---
That's not how it's supposed to work!
[12:30] ---
Oh, really?
[12:32] ---
You're picking a fight with us when you
aren't ready to get down and dirty?
[12:36] ---
You shouldn't be so happy just because
AKB did your theme song.
[12:39] ---
It's not AKB anymore!
[12:40] ---
Are you jealous?
[12:41] ---
Say that you're jealous that we got AKB!
[12:43] ---
Your token glasses character
must be jealous!
[12:45] ---
Not really!
[12:46] ---
Fine then!
[12:48] ---
I'll be the one to turn
my crotch into a hammer!
[12:52] ---
Uh, wrong objective, Bossun!
[12:55] ---
No good. Bossun has lost his head.
[12:58] ---
Your leader doesn't like to lose either.
[13:01] ---
I want nothing to do with this.
[13:03] ---
Don't come to me when you lose viewers
because your crotch is a hammer.
[13:06] ---
We'll just have to stand by and watch.
[13:08] ---
Bossun has always had a complex
[13:10] ---
about how he's too boring
to be a main character.
[13:13] ---
Yeah, I know what you mean.
[13:15] ---
Gin-san always complains about how
he should have a special attack.
[13:19] ---
That's why it's so hard to make games.
[13:21] ---
That's why Bandai Namco gave up on us.
[13:24] ---
Oh, we're going to have that problem.
[13:27] ---
There's always Hyperion and Genesis.
[13:30] ---
Those are crap.
[13:31] ---
We need something like Bankai or Stands.
[13:34] ---
Oh, I've seen Gin-chan
secretly practicing
[13:37] ---
his Kamehameha two or three times.
[13:40] ---
Ouch. Just ouch.
[13:42] ---
Right. Bossun has that Connecting
special power when he wears his goggles.
[13:47] ---
But really, it just looks
like he put on his goggles.
[13:51] ---
Does he yell, "Goggles on!"
[13:54] ---
He did at first.
[13:56] ---
Kind of like how your guy
wore goggles at first.
[13:57] ---
They should stick to it.
[14:00] ---
To be honest, I don't think
it's about special attacks.
[14:03] ---
Between his silver hair and that hat,
he's tried a lot of things to stand out,
[14:06] ---
but people with pizazz
just have it already.
[14:09] ---
Yeah.
[14:10] ---
You can't be a main character
when you complain to your buddies
[14:12] ---
about not standing out.
[14:14] ---
Luffy would never say
anything like that.
[14:17] ---
You're never going to hear him say, "I
will become a main character with pizazz!"
[14:20] ---
Yeah?
[14:21] ---
That's why these guys just fail.
[14:24] ---
If they're going to bother competing,
they should set their sights higher.
[14:27] ---
Really, does it matter who wins?
[14:30] ---
They're in the same boat anyway.
[14:32] ---
Indeed, their weak will is
embodied by their weak goals.
[14:36] ---
They don't have any goals like becoming
the Pirate King or becoming the Hokage.
[14:40] ---
I'm getting worried about
throwing my lot in with him.
[14:42] ---
He's too wishy-washy.
[14:44] ---
I should have gone with a reliable
main character like Luffy.
[14:49] ---
I want Aya Tojo!
[14:51] ---
I prefer Nishino.
[14:52] ---
I prefer Raoh!
[14:54] ---
Uh, none of those are main characters.
[15:00] ---
Huh? They disappeared.
[15:07] ---
Oh, they fell down.
[15:10] ---
Hey, are you okay? Gin-san? Bo-san?
[15:15] ---
I'm already...
[15:16] ---
...sick of this.
[15:17] ---
They said something.
But I can't hear them.
[15:21] ---
I'm already...
[15:22] ---
...sick of this.
[15:24] ---
They're the ones who
ran off by themselves.
[15:28] ---
What? You're giving up on
finding the Devil Fruit?
[15:33] ---
Let's go home then.
[15:35] ---
We need to wrap up this episode.
[15:38] ---
They really want attention.
[15:41] ---
They're the ones who dragged us into this...
what are they trying to do?
[15:44] ---
Just ignore them and go back.
[15:46] ---
I agree.
[15:47] ---
I must return to my enjoyment
of To Love-Ru Darkness.
[15:50] ---
Uh, Himeko-san.
[15:52] ---
Sorry about the Runny Diarrhea thing.
[15:55] ---
Nah, it's okay.
[15:56] ---
This crossover was new and fun.
[16:01] ---
Like...
[16:03] ---
Like, you guys don't
understand how we feel.
[16:07] ---
Uh oh, he's going to
start monologuing again.
[16:11] ---
It's not that we want pizazz,
or that we want to stand out.
[16:16] ---
That's not what drives us.
[16:18] ---
We're doing this for
the sake of our teams,
[16:21] ---
but none of you even care.
[16:25] ---
Yeah, yeah. Forget it.
[16:27] ---
There's no point in trying
to explain to them.
[16:30] ---
Wait, I'm really upset about this.
[16:32] ---
Don't you feel the same way, Sakata-san?
[16:33] ---
He just called him Sakata-san.
[16:35] ---
Forget it. Just forget it.
[16:36] ---
Stop talking.
[16:37] ---
I know how you feel.
[16:39] ---
It's not easy being the leader.
[16:41] ---
They're buddies now.
[16:43] ---
Uh, sorry.
[16:45] ---
Could you leave?
[16:47] ---
Feel free to go join Luffy or Raoh or whoever.
[16:52] ---
We leaders are going to
do this by ourselves.
[16:54] ---
This is bad. They heard
what we were saying.
[16:59] ---
Hey. Pull yourself together, Bossun.
[17:01] ---
Can you stand?
[17:02] ---
Uh, Gin-san. We're sorry.
[17:04] ---
You've got it wrong! You've
got it wrong, Bossun!
[17:06] ---
We were just joking!
[17:08] ---
We just wanted to give
you a little push.
[17:10] ---
It's not like you need
to apologize or anything.
[17:14] ---
Everything you said
was absolutely right.
[17:17] ---
An apology won't heal Bossun
and Gin-san's wounded hearts!
[17:23] ---
What's going on?
[17:24] ---
I can't tell if they want
us to apologize or not.
[17:27] ---
They left. Should we just ignore them?
[17:30] ---
They got mad when we tried to apologize.
[17:32] ---
Those leaders are too hard to deal with.
[17:35] ---
How naive can they be?
[17:39] ---
Hmm? They're not moving forward.
[17:42] ---
They're walking in place.
[17:44] ---
They're waiting for us to say something.
[17:46] ---
What a pain!
[17:47] ---
What are they trying to do?!
[17:49] ---
Hang in there!
[17:50] ---
Now they're acting.
[17:52] ---
Where did Bossun injure
himself?! His head?!
[17:55] ---
Hey, this isn't good.
[17:56] ---
They're not chasing after us.
[17:58] ---
They've given up on us.
[17:59] ---
Why?! Aren't they worried about me?
[18:01] ---
They don't care about their leader?!
[18:03] ---
At this rate, we'll lose
our status as leaders.
[18:06] ---
We have to find the Pizazz-Pizazz
Fruit to regain their trust.
[18:12] ---
H-Hey, look there!
[18:15] ---
There it is!
[18:19] ---
What? They just took off.
[18:22] ---
Did they find the Devil Fruit?
[18:24] ---
Pathetic.
[18:25] ---
They've revealed their true
colors and started to fight.
[18:29] ---
Let go! I'm going to get pizazz!
[18:33] ---
I'll become a brutal
genius with an IQ of 300
[18:35] ---
whose hair turns silver
when my powers awaken!
[18:38] ---
Over my dead body!
[18:39] ---
The pizazz is mine!
[18:41] ---
I'll become a space pirate
who's lost his memories with
[18:42] ---
a Psycho-gun on my right arm and
[18:44] ---
travel around space with hot women!
[18:47] ---
Almost there!
[18:49] ---
So close to the pizazz!
[18:53] ---
Who is that guy?
[18:55] ---
That's a dangerous place to stand.
[18:57] ---
Honey, forgive me for going on ahead.
[19:01] ---
I can't do any carpentry
when my hand's like this.
[19:05] ---
Can't even hold a hammer...
[19:07] ---
Damn it.
[19:09] ---
But I'm healthy down there.
[19:12] ---
If my crotch became a hammer,
[19:14] ---
I could use my rapid hip
movements to hammer nails.
[19:20] ---
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
[19:21] ---
Hold on, gramps!
[19:27] ---
Gramps! Your request...
[19:30] ---
...has been accepted!
[20:14] ---
So in the end, neither
of them got any pizazz.
[20:20] ---
But there's nothing
wrong with being boring.
[20:23] ---
Yeah, that's right.
[20:27] ---
They're great odd jobbers.
[20:30] ---
They're great leaders.
[20:34] ---
Hey, why are you so blue?
[20:36] ---
Cheer up, guys.
[20:38] ---
You looked good back
there. I'm impressed.
[20:41] ---
Let's call this a draw.
[20:43] ---
Next time, we won't lose.
[20:44] ---
Fine by me.
[20:46] ---
Next time, we'll wreck you!
[20:48] ---
To finish, you twist the story into
something resembling a good ending.
[20:51] ---
That's as Gintama as you get.
[20:52] ---
Exactly.
[20:53] ---
This way, you have a
sense of completion.
[21:02] ---
Uh, can you stop that?
[21:04] ---
The episode's over.
[21:06] ---
Were you really that
desperate for some pizazz?
[21:08] ---
It's okay.
[21:11] ---
No, that's not it...
[21:13] ---
When we threw the Pizazz-Pizazz
Fruit at the old man,
[21:16] ---
some of the juice sprayed out.
[21:34] ---
Everyone, tune in next
week for Carpenter Dance
[21:38] ---
and Gin-Balls.
SIGN Next Episode Preview
SIGN Notice: This footage isn't real.
[23:15] ---
Next time on Gintama,
[23:16] ---
Odd Jobs suddenly appears
in the Sket Dan clubroom.
[23:19] ---
Wait, isn't this the preview
for our episode this week?!
[23:21] ---
Why are you showing a
preview for our show?!
[23:23] ---
And why are you showing fake footage?!
[23:24] ---
Well, it just happened as I was
following the original.
[23:26] ---
What's that mean?!
[23:27] ---
Is this really okay?
SIGN Episode 26
SIGN Next time: Spirit Dance!
[23:29] ---
We're the academy support group!
[23:32] ---
Carpenter Dance!
E228 - "Love is neither plus nor minus"
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN The new Gintama anime has been running for half a year. It's already been half a year? We've finally made it through half a year?
SIGN The world may change around us, but we're still rolling along here.
SIGN Kodokan Dojo
[01:48] Shin
S-Sis...
[01:49] Shin
I-I...
[01:51] Shin
I got myself a g-girlfriend!
[01:57] Otae
What? A girlfriend?
[02:00] Shin
I'm in a relationship with a girl.
[02:04] Otae
R-Really?
[02:05] Otae
I-I see...
[02:07] Otae
In that case, congratulations, Shin-chan.
[02:10] Shin
You approve of our relationship?!
[02:13] Shin
I was up all night,
worrying about telling you.
[02:16] Shin
A-Actually, I brought her here
so I could introduce you.
[02:19] Otae
Huh?
[02:20] Shin
Will you meet her?
I'll tell her to come in!
[02:23] Otae
Wait! She's here?
[02:27] Otae
Isn't it a little early for this?
[02:30] Shin
Don't worry. She's not that
fussy about that stuff.
[02:34] Shin
Come in, Momo-san.
[02:37] Shin
Sis!
[02:39] Shin
This is my girlfriend, Momo-san!
[02:42] Momo
Hello.
SIGN Love Is Neither Plus Nor Minus
[02:50] Kusano
Right now, Edo is obsessed
with the new game Love Choris.
[02:53] Kusano
In this dating sim,
[02:55] Kusano
the game is linked to the real world
as events progress in real time.
[02:59] Kusano
When you start the game in the
morning, she says good morning.
[03:01] Momo
Good morning.
[03:02] Kusano
At night, she says good evening,
and this is only the beginning.
[03:04] Momo
Good evening.
[03:06] Kusano
This game is made so well that
Edo is filled with boyfriends
[03:10] Kusano
who can't bear to
[03:11] ---
spend a minute away from their little lovers.
[03:11] Shin
Huh, that's not good.
[03:15] Shin
If you waste all your time because
[03:17] ---
you can't distinguish
between game and reality,
[03:19] Shin
you'll never get a real girlfriend.
[03:22] Shin
Isn't that right, Momo-san?
[03:25] Shin
I wish we could share some
of our happiness with them.
[03:28] Shin
Here you are.
[03:30] Gin
It seems that I'm not wanted
here, so I'll be making my exit.
[03:35] Otae
Hey, where are you going?!
[03:38] Gin
And I ask you where your brother has gone?
[03:41] Gin
He's trapped in some dimension
between game and reality.
[03:44] Otae
He showed up with that thing and said that
[03:46] Otae
he wanted to introduce me to his girlfriend,
[03:48] Otae
and he's been like this ever since.
[03:49] Kagura
It's okay.
[03:51] Kagura
When Sadaharu is in heat, he
keeps humping stuffed animals.
[03:54] Kagura
After a while, he'll stop.
[03:56] Otae
That won't work! Shin-chan
is in heat all year round!
[04:00] Gin
You girls don't think much
of Shinpachi-kun, do you?
[04:03] Otae
Are dating sims supposed
to turn men into that?
[04:08] Gin
I wouldn't know.
[04:09] Kondo
You see, Otae-san,
[04:12] Kondo
dating sims are games where the
[04:14] ---
goal is to score with the many beautiful girls who show up.
[04:17] Gin
Why is this guy showing himself
like nothing is wrong?
[04:20] Gin
Why is he acting like he's
been up there the whole time?
[04:22] Kondo
In other words, this is
the only way to enjoy love
[04:24] Kondo
for men who have no luck with women.
[04:27] Kagura
You would know, wouldn't you?
[04:30] Kondo
In other words, the worse
a guy does with girls,
[04:33] Kondo
the more likely he is to
get hooked on dating sims.
[04:36] Kondo
So a super S-class cherry boy like
Shinpachi-kun will stand no chance.
[04:38] Kagura
A super S-class stalker shouldn't be talking.
[04:41] Kondo
This game was able to completely
hook a veteran date simmer like me.
[04:45] Kondo
It is difficult to describe the
destructive powers of this game.
[04:48] Kondo
That's what my girlfriend Sayaka-chan said.
[04:51] Sayaka
I'm Sayaka.
[04:52] Gin
Those destructive powers did a number on you.
[04:54] Otae
Th-This can't be!
[04:55] Otae
Does that mean Shin-chan might
never return from the dark side?!
[05:01] Kondo
Sayaka-chan!
[05:04] Gin
Did you try to make contact?
[05:06] Otae
Yes, I was looking for a chance
to take the game away from him...
[05:10] Shin
What are you doing?
[05:12] Shin
Please don't touch Momo-san!
[05:14] Kondo
He's so mentally unstable that he
thinks the game is his girlfriend.
[05:19] Kondo
If you want to reach out to him,
[05:21] ---
you must join him in his little world!
[05:24] Gin
How do we do that?
[05:26] Kondo
That should be obvious.
[05:27] Game
Welcome to the world of Love Choris.
SIGN Name
SIGN Birthday
SIGN Blood Type
[05:29] Game
Please begin by inputting your name
[05:31] ---
as the name of the main character.
SIGN Gintoki Sakata.
[05:34] Gin
Hey! Why do I have to play this crap?!
[05:38] Kondo
To bring Shinpachi-kun
back to the real world.
[05:41] Gin
Don't give me that crap!
[05:42] Gin
That'll take too long!
[05:43] Gin
How am I supposed to get
hooked on a kiddie game?!
[05:45] Kondo
It doesn't matter if you
get hooked on the game.
[05:48] Kondo
You just need to be in
the same world as he is.
[05:50] Gin
Why don't you go talk to Shinpachi?
[05:52] Kondo
You think Shinpachi-kun
is going to listen to me?
[05:56] Kondo
First, you need to choose
one of the three heroines.
[05:59] Kondo
Love Choris is a game where
you win over one of the
[06:02] Kondo
heroines and engage in a
[06:04] ---
real-time relationship that
is amazingly realistic.
[06:08] Kondo
The first heroine is Sayaka Otakai-chan.
[06:10] Kondo
She is the captain of the railway
club that you're also in.
[06:13] Kondo
An excellent student and athlete
[06:14] ---
who's also Isao Kondo-kun's girlfriend.
[06:16] Gin
Why are you part of her description?
[06:17] Sayaka
I sure like you.
[06:19] Gin
You just happened to choose
her as your heroine.
[06:21] Kondo
The second heroine is Momo Anigasaki-san.
[06:23] Kondo
She's one year older than the main character
[06:25] ---
and the helpful older sister type.
[06:27] Kondo
Shinpachi-kun chose her as his heroine.
[06:29] Gin
Why did he choose an older sister character?
[06:31] Gin
That's pretty disgusting.
[06:32] Kondo
You don't want to choose
[06:33] ---
the same heroine or people will get jealous.
[06:36] Kondo
Which means you're left
with the third character.
[06:40] Kondo
Pinko Shiramizu.
[06:42] Gin
Wait a sec!
[06:43] Gin
This character is noticeably
different from the others!
[06:46] Kondo
Pinko-chan is the owner
of a Chinese restaurant
[06:48] ---
that the main character frequents.
[06:50] Kondo
She's a widow who lost her
husband, Takuzo, a while back.
[06:52] Gin
This is obviously Pinko!
[06:54] Gin
It's like she's from a
totally different world!
[06:56] Gin
Give me Sayaka-chan or Momo-san!
[06:59] Kondo
Hmm, but they will be very difficult.
[07:02] Gin
Doesn't matter.
[07:03] Gin
It feels better when you finally land them!
[07:06] Kondo
No, that's not what I mean.
[07:09] Kondo
To choose a heroine,
[07:10] ---
you have to shoot down the one you want.
[07:12] Gin
Why is it a shooting game?!
[07:13] Kondo
And it takes a long time before
Sayaka-chan or Momo-chan show up.
[07:16] Gin
The hell, it's like I'm
Making It Through Pinko!
[07:21] Kondo
Oh, now you've done it.
[07:23] Kondo
You're stuck on Pinko-chan's route now.
[07:26] Gin
There is no other route, is there?
[07:28] Gin
How did you guys get normal heroines?!
[07:30] Gin
Forget it! Let's just get this over with!
[07:32] Gin
I'll just win over Pinko!
[07:33] Kondo
But first...
[07:36] Kondo
You have to decide what you
want Pinko-chan to call you.
[07:38] Gin
I don't give a damn!
[07:39] Kondo
It's more fun if you have her call you by that.
[07:42] Gin
If she wasn't Pinko, maybe!
[07:44] Gin
Forget it! Gintoki will do!
[07:45] Gin
This is good enough!
[07:48] Pinko
Takuzo.
[07:49] Gin
She's completely ignoring me?!
[07:51] Gin
She didn't even say my name!
[07:53] Gin
She's still stuck on Takuzo!
[07:55] Kondo
But you can choose between the pronunciations
[07:58] ---
Takuzo, Takuzo‘!, and Takuzo“!
[07:59] Gin
They're all the same!
[08:01] Kondo
The ones on the right are Takuzo.
[08:03] ---
The ones on the left are Takuzo“!.
[08:05] Gin
Another choice that
involves a shooting game?!
[08:07] Gin
They're all Takuzo!
[08:09] Gin
Can I just start this game already?!
[08:11] Gin
Okay! I can finally begin!
[08:13] Kondo
Right, your next choice is about the
[08:15] ---
catchphrase for Pinko-chan's
child, Enari-kun.
[08:17] Kondo
How do you want him to pronounce,
"That's not helping, okay?"
[08:20] Gin
Enough is enough already!
[08:22] Kondo
You're going to become his new father.
[08:25] Kondo
It's important to build a strong
relationship with her son.
SIGN Sengoku BABASAN
SIGN That's not helping, okay?
[08:27] Kondo
The right castle is "That's
not helping, okay?"
SIGN That's not helping, otay?
[08:29] Kondo
The left castle is "That's
not helping, otay?"
SIGN Proceed
SIGN Secure Weapons
Secure Provisions
[08:31] Gin
There's no way I have to
play a simulation game.
[08:33] Gin
I'm not wasting my time on this shit!
[08:36] Kondo
Man, you don't know how to treat a lady.
[08:41] Kondo
If you turn off the power without saving,
[08:43] ---
your relationship will suffer.
[08:45] Gin
Huh?
[08:46] Kondo
For example, my game shut down abruptly when
[08:49] ---
Otae-san laid the smack down.
[08:51] Kondo
When I restart the game...
[08:53] Sayaka
Geez...
[08:54] Sayaka
You just turned off the game again.
[08:56] Sayaka
What was that for?
[08:56] Gin
Huh? What is this? What is this?
[08:58] Sayaka
I told you to be gentle.
[09:02] Gin
What's with her? She's throwing a fit.
[09:05] Kondo
Sorry! Forgive me!
[09:08] Sayaka
You want me to forgive you?
[09:09] Sayaka
Then you have to kiss me ten times.
SIGN I'm not jealous or anything.
[09:13] Kondo
Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
[09:20] Sayaka
I love you, Isao-kun!
[09:22] Kondo
And I love you, Sayaka-chan!
[09:26] Kondo
Do you understand the capabilities
of Love Choris now?
[09:29] Kondo
They're breathing on the
other side of the screen.
[09:32] Gin
B-But they're 2D.
[09:35] Gin
You should look at yourself in the
mirror. I guarantee you'll cry.
[09:38] Kondo
Don't be so stubborn.
[09:39] Kondo
Apologize and patch up your relationship.
[09:42] Gin
I-It's not worth it.
[09:43] Gin
I mean, my girlfriend is Pinko.
[09:45] Kondo
The girls change according
to the player's preference.
[09:49] Kondo
That's the best thing about Love Choris.
[09:52] Kondo
She might be Pinko now,
[09:53] Kondo
but eventually, she may turn
into the girl of your dreams.
[09:56] Gin
No, no, no. We're talking 2D here.
[09:59] Gin
Well, I guess...
[10:00] Gin
If you really insist, I
might give it another shot.
[10:05] Gin
So, what do I do after I turn it on?
[10:08] Kondo
Didn't you see what happened in my case?
[10:10] Kondo
My girlfriend gave me the cold shoulder
[10:11] Kondo
because I suddenly turned off the game.
[10:14] Kondo
You need to do some sucking up.
[10:17] Pinko
That was just despicable how
you turned off the game.
[10:20] Gin
You're right.
[10:21] ---
She's so mad that she won't even look at me.
[10:22] Gin
That's amazing.
[10:23] Pinko
It's all your fault... All your fault...
SIGN Her Enari is cold and stiff now.
[10:29] Gin
Hey!
[10:30] Gin
Cold shoulder?! More like cold Enari!
[10:33] Gin
I can't fix this now!
[10:37] Kondo
It looks like you were too violent
when you turned off the game.
[10:40] Kondo
Just apologize.
[10:41] Gin
Uh, an apology isn't going to help!
[10:44] Enari
You want me to forgive you?
[10:46] Gin
I-I'm sorry! Please forgive me!
[10:49] Gin
I didn't mean any harm!
[10:51] Pinko
Then recite the Heart
Sutra one hundred times!
[10:56] Gin
No!
[10:58] Gin
Why is my Love Choris so different?!
[11:00] Gin
This isn't a dating sim!
This is Resident Evil!
[11:04] Gin
Her son died.
[11:06] Gin
You should wait until she's
gotten over the loss.
[11:09] Gin
Uh, doesn't this game move in real time?!
[11:11] Gin
I can't wait two years!
[11:13] Kondo
Well, in any case,
[11:15] Kondo
keep working on winning
the heart of Pinko-chan.
[11:18] Kondo
Do your best to turn her
into your ideal girlfriend.
[11:21] Gin
Isn't this enough already?
[11:22] Gin
I should be able to communicate
with Shinpachi now.
[11:28] Kondo
You really think that this
will be enough to save
[11:30] Kondo
Shinpachi-kun from the world of Love Choris?
SIGN Love Choris The My Wife World Tournament
[11:35] Kondo
You should enter this tournament!
[11:37] Gin
Th-This is...
[11:39] Gin
The My Wife World Tournament?
[11:42] Kondo
Love Choris players from all over the country
[11:45] Kondo
will gather to determine
whose girlfriend is the best!
[11:48] Kondo
You must defeat Shinpachi-kun
in this tournament.
[11:50] Kondo
That is the only way to bring him
[11:52] Kondo
out of his dream and back to the real world.
[11:55] Kondo
You must shatter his fantasy...
[11:59] Kondo
...by using your own fantasy!
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[12:05] Pinko
Wake up!
[12:06] Pinko
It's morning!
[12:08] Pinko
How long are you going to sleep?
[12:11] Gin
Why are you so loud every morning?
[12:14] Gin
I get to decide when I'm going to wake up.
[12:17] Pinko
It must be nice to wake up
and go to sleep every day.
[12:23] Pinko
But my son...
[12:25] Pinko
...will never wake up again!
[12:28] Gin
No more! I've had enough!
[12:33] Kondo
Listen to me.
[12:34] Kondo
You must keep Love Choris
by your side at all times,
[12:36] Kondo
including when you're eating and sleeping.
[12:38] Kondo
This will help strengthen your bond.
[12:40] Gin
I did what he said.
[12:41] Gin
It's already the day of the tournament,
[12:43] Gin
but there hasn't been any improvement.
[12:45] Gin
Enari is decomposing in real time!
[12:48] Gin
And this woman is cursing me 24/7.
[12:48] Pinko
I wish you would suffer
the same fate as my son.
[12:51] Gin
How is this a dating sim?!
[12:54] Gin
No more!
[12:56] Gin
Kagura's starting to look at me with disgust.
[12:58] Gin
Screw Shinpachi and this tournament!
[13:01] Pinko
I feel the same way.
[13:04] Pinko
Why would I fall in love with the man
[13:06] Pinko
who killed my son?
[13:09] Pinko
Honestly, this isn't funny.
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[13:21] Kagura
Gin-chan, Shinpachi wanted
to take the day off.
[13:24] Gin
Oh, really.
[13:25] Kagura
What's going on, anyway?
[13:27] Kagura
Aren't you also playing that dating sim, Gin-chan?
[13:30] Gin
Uh huh.
[13:31] Kagura
Is it really that good?
[13:33] Gin
Well, I'm a grown-up now,
[13:36] Gin
so I can't really say.
[13:37] Kagura
Yeah, it's like not like they're jumping
out of the screen or anything.
[13:41] Kagura
I don't get it.
[13:43] Gin
Yeah...
[13:44] Gin
I don't get it either.
[13:47] Kagura
This is why men are called herbivores and
[13:50] Kagura
considered weaker than women now.
[13:53] Gin
I know. Me and my sweet
tooth don't get it either.
[13:59] Kagura
Sadaharu, pipe down.
[14:02] Kagura
This is how he acts when
there are strangers here.
[14:06] Kagura
Stop that, Sadaharu!
[14:08] Kagura
Gin-chan, Sadaharu won't stop barking.
[14:11] Kagura
Ah, Gin-chan!
[14:17] Gin
What the hell...
[14:18] Gin
What the hell is going on?!
[14:20] Gin
Everywhere I go! Everywhere I go!
[14:22] Gin
Pinko and Enari are there!
[14:26] Gin
It's like I'm really Making
It Through with Pinko!
[14:30] Gin
Damn, what's wrong with me?
[14:33] Kondo
Hey, Odd Jobs!
[14:35] Gin
Gorilla!
[14:36] Kondo
What are you doing here?
[14:37] Kondo
The tournament is today.
[14:38] Kondo
Want a ride?
[14:40] Gin
S-Sorry, I appreciate this.
[14:43] Kondo
What's wrong? Why are you so flustered?
[14:45] Gin
Well, there's something
crazy chasing me around.
[14:48] Kondo
Something crazy?
[14:49] Sayaka
Oh, no! I'm so scared, Isao-kun!
[14:51] Kondo
Everything's okay, Sayaka-chan.
[14:53] Gin
Hey! What is this?!
[14:55] Gin
Hey!
[14:56] Gin
Why is your girlfriend out
in the real world, too?!
[14:59] Kondo
It appears that you can finally see them.
[15:02] Gin
I can finally see them?!
[15:03] Gin
Don't tell me that...
[15:04] Kondo
Of course, I can see Sayaka-chan.
[15:07] Kondo
And I can also see your
girlfriend, Pinko-chan.
[15:11] Kondo
I knew you could make it to this stage.
[15:15] Kondo
Other people may think that
we're just playing a game,
[15:17] Sayaka
I love you, Isao-kun!
[15:19] Kondo
but this world where we can
[15:21] ---
see the manifestations of our girlfriends...
[15:23] Kondo
A world only accessible to those
who have mastered Love Choris...
[15:26] Kondo
The dimension between game and reality...
[15:29] Kondo
Love Choris Hole!
[15:31] Gin
We're just insane!
[15:32] Gin
Love Choris Hole?!
[15:34] Gin
All this means is that
we've spent so much time
[15:36] Gin
playing games that we're hallucinating!
[15:38] Kondo
You're finally on the same
level as Shinpachi-kun.
[15:42] Gin
That's a bad thing!
[15:43] Gin
This ain't funny!
[15:44] Gin
This is no longer about saving Shinpachi!
[15:47] Gin
Hey, let me out at the hospital!
[15:48] Kondo
It's true that from the
perspective of the real world,
[15:51] Kondo
we have lost our minds.
[15:53] Kondo
But where are we heading?
[15:56] Kondo
Yes, to an otherworldly
battlefield of warriors who are
[15:59] ---
trapped in their fantasies.
SIGN Love Choris
The My Wife World Tournament
[16:01] Kondo
There, fantasy becomes reality!
[16:05] Gin
This is one creepy tournament!
[16:08] Gin
They're all in the Love Choris
Hole like nothing's wrong!
[16:10] Gin
They've all been hit by a Dazzle spell!
[16:12] Kondo
A person who hasn't reached the Love Choris Hole
[16:15] Kondo
is like a Soul Reaper in the Soul
Society who can't Bankai.
[16:18] Gin
It's supposed to be cool?!
[16:20] Gin
In the real world, these people
would be considered total failures!
[16:22] Kondo
These people have reached a high level.
[16:25] Kondo
They have completed their ideal girlfriends.
[16:29] Kondo
But your girlfriend is also standing out.
[16:33] Gin
And not in a good way!
[16:35] Gin
There's no way I can win!
[16:37] Enari
That's not helping, okay?
[16:42] Gin
Of course not.
[16:42] Gin
Because you're dead.
[16:43] Gin
Could you please shut up?
[16:45] Gin
You're scaring me.
[16:45] Kondo
However, she's gradually approaching
your ideal girlfriend.
[16:50] Pinko
Watch your back.
[16:52] Pinko
I'm gonna avenge Enari.
[16:55] Gin
You sure about that?
[16:56] Kondo
I see. This would be that
new yandere fad, right?
[17:00] Gin
Hell no!
[17:01] Gin
All I see is a psycho old lady
and a decomposing Enari-kun!
[17:04] Gin
Hey, I'll trade the decomposing
Enari for your Sayaka-chan.
[17:08] Sayaka
No, I like, want Isao-kun.
[17:10] Kondo
I know, right?
[17:12] Gin
Why is this bitch so cute?
[17:14] Gin
Your boyfriend was a
yandere in the real world!
[17:16] Gin
Couldn't keep a lid on his load!
[17:19] Kondo
Hey! Don't say that stuff to Sayaka-chan!
[17:22] A
Hey, now. They're starting a fight.
[17:26] Kyubei
Stop this.
[17:27] Kyubei
This is not a place for being
jealous of someone else's love.
[17:30] Kyubei
It's a place to be proud of your own love.
[17:33] Gin
You're...
[17:34] Kondo
Is it...
[17:35] Gin
Kyubei...
[17:36] Both
Who the hell are you?!
[17:37] Gin
It's Pinko!
[17:38] Gin
A Pinko who's based off Kyubei!
[17:40] Tojo
Lady!
[17:41] Kyubei
Ayu-tan!
[17:44] Kyubei
Where did you go?
[17:46] Tojo
You're the one who let go of
my hand, and then I got lost!
[17:55] Tojo
Wh-Wh-Wha-
[17:56] Tojo
What are you people doing here?!
[17:59] Gin
Yeah, that's what I was about to ask.
[18:01] Gin
And so...
[18:03] Gin
Is that supposed to be Kyubei-kun?
[18:04] Tojo
No way! Absolutely not!
[18:07] Gin
Uh, it's Kyubei.
[18:08] Gin
You obviously failed,
[18:09] Gin
but you clearly based this
sad monster off of Kyubei.
[18:13] Tojo
You're wrong, I say!
[18:14] Tojo
I do not have any improper
feelings for the Lady!
[18:16] Kyubei
Yeah!
[18:17] Kyubei
I'm not Ayu-tan's girlfriend.
[18:19] Kyubei
I'm Ayu-tan's mama.
[18:21] Gin
Oh, really...
[18:22] Tojo
Hey! Stop talking!
[18:24] Gin
Usually, you're the one looking after Kyubei,
[18:26] Gin
but you actually wanted her to baby you.
[18:28] Tojo
You're wrong!
[18:31] Tojo
I was playing the game, and
this just kind of happened.
[18:31] Kyubei
Okay, time to change your diapers.
[18:34] Gin
What kind of playing are
we taking about here?
[18:36] Gin
This tournament is messed up.
[18:38] Gin
People's fetishes are on display.
[18:40] Gin
And what do other people think about me?
[18:44] Gin
Hey, let's trade girlfriends.
[18:47] Sayaka
No, I, like, want Isao-kun.
[18:50] Kondo
I know, right?
[18:51] Gin
Cut that out, stupid girl!
[18:52] Gin
That little act isn't cute!
[18:54] Gin
Do it again.
[18:55] Gin
Say, I, like, want Gintoki-kun.
[18:58] Pinko
I promise to, like, avenge Enari.
[19:01] Gin
I wasn't talking to you!
[19:02] Enari
That's not, like, helping, okay?
[19:05] Gin
I wasn't talking to you either!
[19:06] Gin
If you don't stop, I'm gonna beat you down!
[19:08] Kondo
Hey, Odd Jobs!
[19:10] Kondo
Was there a heroine like that in this game?
[19:12] Gin
Huh? Isn't that Sa-chan?
[19:15] Kondo
Looks like her.
[19:17] Kondo
Did someone want her as a girlfriend?
[19:19] Gin
No, nobody would like that sick girl.
[19:22] Kondo
But look, there's her boyfriend.
[19:24] Sa
Where did you go, Pin-san?
[19:26] Sa
Geez, you're not supposed to leave my side.
[19:31] Gin
Who the hell is this Pin-san?!
[19:33] Gin
Why did you turn Pinko into this?!
[19:35] Gin
Isn't this a tournament for
showing off girlfriends!
[19:37] Sa
Hmm? I have no idea what
you're talking about.
[19:41] Sa
I'm the ideal girlfriend from Pin-san's game.
[19:45] Sa
I don't know anything else.
[19:47] Gin
What's this game called?
[19:48] Gin
How to make annoying girls?
[19:50] Gin
AKA Annoying Girl?
[19:51] Sa
Could you stop that?
[19:53] Sa
My boyfriend is Pin-san.
[19:55] Sa
It's too late for you to be jealous.
[19:58] Sa
It's your turn to suffer the way I did
[20:00] Sa
when the one I loved had
been stolen by Pinko!
[20:05] Gin
Why is she here?
[20:06] Gin
She's creating fantasy on top of fantasy.
[20:09] Sa
Let's see if your Pinko or my Pinko wins.
[20:13] Sa
Sit tighty-whitey!
[20:15] Gin
Wait, that's not what
this tournament is about!
[20:17] Gin
What's wrong here?
[20:18] Gin
Only freaks are using Pinko!
[20:20] Gin
Let's trade girlfriends.
[20:22] Sayaka
No!
[20:22] Sayaka
I, like, want Isao-kun.
[20:24] Kondo
I know, right?
[20:25] Kondo
Just suck it up and win with your Pinko-chan.
[20:29] Kondo
Sayaka-chan will always be mine.
[20:31] Kondo
Even after death.
[20:33] Okita
Oh, there you are.
[20:34] Okita
Finally found you.
[20:36] Kondo
Sogo, why are you here?
[20:38] Okita
Huh? Kondo-san and the chief.
[20:41] Kondo
Are you also participating
in this tournament?
[20:43] Okita
Huh? So are you?
[20:45] Kondo
Of course.
[20:46] Kondo
Don't you see my Sayaka-chan here?
[20:49] Sayaka
Welcome back, master.
[20:52] Okita
How did it feel to serve
a man you can't stand?
[20:56] Sayaka
It was very painful.
[20:58] Sayaka
But when I realized that I was
being my master's loyal slave,
[21:02] Sayaka
I began to feel happy deep down.
[21:05] Okita
Heh, bitch.
[21:08] Sayaka
Please don't send me away again, master.
[21:12] Okita
Well, we'll see.
[21:15] Kondo
Sakata-kun.
[21:16] Gin
I'm not gonna trade girlfriends with you.
[21:19] Kondo
Please!
[21:20] Kondo
Can you at least give me Enari-kun?!
[21:22] Enari
No.
[21:23] Kondo
What happened to your catchphrase?!
[21:25] B
Wh-Who is that?!
[21:28] B
Why is it so bright?!
[21:33] A
I-It's a goddess!
[21:36] B
Who is her boyfriend?!
[21:38] B
How was he able to raise that girlfriend?!
[21:42] Gin
Sh-Shinpachi?!
[21:44] N
The day has come!
[21:47] N
We will choose the best of the best from the
[21:51] N
ideal girlfriends everyone has
painstakingly raised!
[21:53] N
The Love Choris My Wife
World Tournament begins now!
[22:00] Gin
Can my puny fantasy defeat his massive one?!
SIGN To be continued.
SIGN Next Episode: Making It Through Love
[23:41] Gin
Next time:
[23:42] Gin
Making It Through Love.
SIGN The My Wife World Tournament finally begins. Who feels the greatest love for his girlfriend?
SIGN Gintoki is faced by difficult opponents in a battle of fantasies. Will he be able to wake up Shinpachi?!
[3:05:07] ---
-
E229 - Making It Through Love
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Who has the best in-game girlfriend? We'll find out in the My Wife World Tournament!
SIGN Can the power of Gintoki and Pinko's love shatter Shinpachi's illusions (girlfriend)?!
SIGN Making It Through Love
SIGN Love Choris My Wife World Tournament
[01:44] N
First, for the preliminaries, we'll need
everyone to split up into three groups
[01:49] N
according to their heroine.
[01:50] N
So there will be a Sayaka group,
a Momo group, and a Pinko group.
[01:55] N
You will compete against the
other members in your group,
[01:58] N
and one victorious couple
will advance to the finals.
[02:01] N
That couple will represent
[02:03] ---
their group in determining
which heroine is best.
[02:06] N
The one who best demonstrates his
[02:09] N
girlfriend's charm during
an in-game date wins!
[02:12] N
Let the games begin!
[02:16] 132
Allow me to show you the
power of a girlfriend
[02:19] 132
with over 5,000 hours of play time logged!
SIGN Boyfriend's Perspective
[02:21] N
Contestant #132 from the Momo-san
group has made the first move.
[02:22] Momo
Shige-kun!
[02:25] N
Naturally, his boyfriend and
intimacy levels are both maxed!
[02:26] Momo
Sorry to keep you waiting.
[02:30] Momo
There aren't very many people around...
[02:33] Momo
I can't hold myself back!
[02:37] N
Hey! The girlfriend is jumping
right into the action!
[02:41] Kondo
That's what happens when
bystanders are zero,
[02:44] Kondo
points are maxed, and the
heroine's mood is aroused!
[02:47] Kondo
The French Kiss!
SIGN French Kiss
[02:48] Gin
Aroused?!
[02:49] Gin
Is this supposed to be an erotic game?!
[02:51] Kondo
It's so rare that most of the hardcore
gamers have yet to experience this!
[02:55] 132
I spent all that time
preparing for this day!
[03:00] C
Stop!
[03:01] C
My poor Momo-san!
[03:03] Momo
Please calm yourself.
[03:04] Momo
Your Momo is right here.
[03:07] N
Oh no!
[03:08] N
After witnessing contestant
132's passionate kiss,
[03:11] N
the other contestants are
crumbling one after another!
[03:15] N
What do the judges think?
SIGN Cute Factor 60 points
SIGN Thrill Factor 95 points
[03:16] N
100 points in the hard-on category!
SIGN Hard-on Factor 100 points
[03:19] N
A total of 255 points!
[03:21] N
We already have a very high score!
[03:23] Gin
Hey! Who let the gorilla on stage?!
[03:27] 132
The Momo-san group is mine!
[03:30] N
Oh! We still have a boyfriend left!
[03:33] Kondo
Shinpachi-kun...
[03:35] Kondo
That's...!
[03:36] N
What is the meaning of this?!
[03:38] N
They're on a date, but they
aren't holding hands!
SIGN Sensitivity Level
Charm Level
Boyfriend Level
Intimacy Level
[03:41] N
In fact, his boyfriend and
intimacy level are below average!
[03:45] Kondo
Impossible! After all
the time he spent?!
[03:48] N
Platonic!
[03:49] N
Unlike contestant 132
and his intense kiss,
[03:52] N
this couple is in a
platonic relationship!
[03:55] 132
Victory is mine.
[03:57] Shin
Uh, are you thirsty?
[04:00] Shin
I can get you something.
[04:02] N
He can no longer bear the silence?
[04:06] Momo
I'll go buy something then.
[04:08] Momo
What do you want, Shinpachi-kun?
[04:09] Shin
Th-Thanks...
[04:11] Shin
I'll have tea then.
[04:15] Momo
Here you are.
[04:16] Shin
Uh, Momo-san, there's only one...
[04:20] Momo
I also wanted tea.
[04:22] Momo
We can just share, right?
[04:28] All
In-In-In-
[04:30] All
Indirect kiss?!
[04:33] N
Now this is a surprise!
[04:34] N
They're countering the passionate
kiss with a platonic indirect kiss!
[04:39] A
Why?!
[04:40] A
An indirect kiss isn't even a kiss!
[04:43] B
But I'm getting really excited!
[04:45] B
It feels more realistic than that other kiss!
[04:47] Kondo
Shinpachi-kun, could it be?!
[04:49] Kondo
It's certain that the contestants
and judges here are all virgins.
[04:53] Kondo
For them, a deep kiss is the
[04:55] ---
stuff of fantasy like
dragons and pegasuses!
[04:59] Kondo
But an indirect kiss is different.
[05:01] Kondo
I'm sure that everyone
has played the recorder
[05:03] Kondo
or tried on the track pants
of the girl that you like!
[05:05] Kondo
This is much more realistic than a kiss!
[05:07] Gin
The track pants thing is just you.
[05:09] Kondo
Is that what Shinpachi-kun
is aiming for?!
[05:11] Gin
He's obviously just another virgin!
[05:14] Gin
How can you get so excited over
an indirect kiss in a game?!
[05:17] Gin
An indirect indirect kiss is
basically pointless!
[05:19] Shin
I-I'm sorry! I'll go buy another one!
[05:22] Momo
It's okay.
[05:23] N
Oh, no! He's made his girlfriend upset!
[05:26] 132
Victory! My Momo-san wi-
[05:38] Momo
I don't need it anymore.
[05:40] Momo
My thirst is quenched.
[05:48] N
Contestant 154 advances to the finals!
[05:52] N
I can tell you without looking that
he's achieved a perfect score!
SIGN Cute Factor 100 points
SIGN Thrill Factor 100 points
SIGN Hard-on Factor 100 points
[05:55] Gin
Gorilla! You just have a permanent hard-on!
[05:58] Kondo
Rejoice!
[05:59] Kondo
Love Choris holds infinite possibilities!
[06:04] A
A god! We've been graced by a god!
[06:08] A
Hooray for the virgin god!
[06:10] A
Hooray for the goddess Momo-sama!
[06:12] Gin
Uh, wouldn't the virgin god
rank below the toilet god?
[06:15] Gin
Below a god covered in shit.
[06:17] N
Now, what has happened with the
Sayaka-chan group at the zoo?
[06:21] Sayaka
Hey, kiss me.
[06:21] N
It appears that more and more couples
are trying to avoid kissing.
[06:22] Sayaka
Why won't you kiss me?
[06:24] N
They've realized that this
tournament can't be won
[06:27] N
through wanton displays of affection.
[06:28] N
Couple 230 appears to
be frozen in place.
[06:31] ---
What is their goal?
[06:34] Sayaka
Ah, I'm so embarrassed!
[06:36] Okita
Embarrassed?
[06:38] Okita
Then we should show off your ugliness.
[06:42] All
What kind of game is this?!
[06:44] Kondo
Sogo! What are you doing
to my Sayaka-chan?!
[06:49] Sayaka
If you must use body painting,
be sure to draw glasses too...
[06:53] Okita
Yeah, yeah. Glasses, glasses.
[06:53] Gin
What kind of request is that?!
[06:55] Sayaka
And my skin can't get
any air. It hurts...
[06:59] Sayaka
Water...
[07:00] Sayaka
Please give me water, Master...
[07:02] Gin
Why does she keep requesting
stuff she really doesn't need?!
[07:04] Okita
Water?
[07:06] Okita
This is all I have.
[07:08] Sayaka
That's good enough.
[07:10] Sayaka
I mean, please let me have some.
[07:12] Sayaka
Let's drink it together.
[07:15] N
Another indirect kiss!
[07:18] N
Is the indirect kiss still the key,
even under these bizarre circumstances?!
[07:22] Okita
Good idea.
[07:22] Okita
One is enough for the two of you.
[07:25] Gin
Who is she supposed to share that with?!
[07:27] Sayaka
What about you, Master?
[07:28] Okita
I don't need it.
[07:30] Okita
My thirst is quenched.
[07:31] Gin
Your thirst for what?!
[07:32] Gin
Quenched with what?!
[07:33] E
Hey! I won't stand for this travesty!
[07:36] N
Oh! The Sayaka group is upset
by this shocking display!
[07:40] Okita
Could you not interrupt
our quality time?
[07:43] Okita
Sayaka is enjoying herself.
[07:44] E
No, Sayaka-chan would never
enjoy this treatment!
[07:48] E
Look at how happy our Sayaka-chans are!
[07:51] E
Huh? Sayaka-chan?
[07:54] Sayaka
I have returned, Master.
[07:57] N
The Sayaka-chan group has fallen!
[08:01] N
As for the scores...
SIGN Cute Factor 100 points
SIGN Thrill Factor 100 points
SIGN Hard-on Factor 100 points
[08:03] N
This is a surprise! A perfect score!
[08:05] Gin
You guys will take
anything if it's female!
[08:08] F
How was he able to tame the
strong-willed Sayaka-chan?!
[08:12] F
This was the perfect way to nail people
with a fetish for being cheated on!
[08:16] A
A god! We've been graced by a god!
[08:19] Gin
How many gods are you
going to roll out here?!
[08:21] N
The Momo-san group and Sayaka-chan
group have their finalists!
[08:27] N
All that remains is the finals!
[08:30] Gin
Wait up!
[08:32] Gin
There's still Pinko!
[08:35] Sa
Why are you ignoring us?!
[08:36] Tojo
Yeah! You're going to die without
ever witnessing how cute the lady is!
[08:40] N
Uh, they all receive 0 points.
SIGN Cute Factor 0 points
SIGN Thrill Factor 0 points
SIGN Hard-on Factor 0 points
[08:42] Gin
We haven't done anything yet!
[08:44] A
Well, I guarantee there
won't be any cute factor.
[08:47] Gin
Screw you!
[08:48] Gin
Why do you think I'm even
in this creepy tournament?!
[08:51] A
Then let me ask you this.
[08:54] A
Do you really want to date Pinko-chan?
[08:57] Gin
Uh, not really...
[08:59] Gin
But I need to reach the finals...
[09:00] B
Do you love Pinko-chan?!
[09:06] Gin
O-Of...
[09:08] Gin
Of course I do, bastard!
[09:15] Gin
Huh?
[09:16] Gin
Hold on.
[09:18] Gin
Why does everyone look so
serious all of a sudden?
[09:20] Gin
Why isn't everyone laughing?
[09:22] Gin
Why do you look so upset?!
Why are you crying?!
[09:28] Pinko
I'm not happy to hear that or anything.
[09:32] Gin
Why are you blushing?!
[09:35] Gin
Stop!
[09:36] Gin
Please stop this mood!
[09:39] N
I understand.
[09:40] N
If you insist, we'll have you
prove those words!
[09:44] N
The Pinko-chan group will
have their date at...
SIGN Dream Castle Love World
[09:47] N
...Dream Castle!
SIGN Dream Castle Love World
[09:52] N
They will have their
date at Dream Castle!
[09:55] Gin
J-Jumping right to the
hardest challenge!
[09:58] Gin
Hold on!
[09:59] Gin
The other groups went to the
amusement park and the zoo!
[10:01] Gin
Why are we the only ones who have
to engage in physical activity?!
[10:03] Okita
Well, time to show what you're made of.
[10:06] Gin
What's that supposed to mean?!
[10:07] Shin
Try to climb your way up here.
[10:09] Gin
I can't!
[10:11] Gin
I'm at the bottom of the ladder!
[10:12] Gin
In the septic tank!
[10:14] Kondo
Why are you getting scared, Joe?!
[10:17] Kondo
Show them the fastest left
straight in the world!
[10:20] Gin
What left straight?!
[10:22] Gin
I'm more limp than straight!
[10:25] Gin
I have no tomorrow!
[10:27] Tojo
I'm supposed to reveal how
naughty the lady can be?
[10:31] Tojo
That... That...
[10:33] Tojo
That turns me on!
SIGN Go on a date. Call her.
[10:35] N
Contestant 311 has made the first move!
[10:38] Tojo
Lady, my diaper feels icky.
[10:43] Tojo
Can we go inside so you can change it?
[10:44] Gin
Yeah, change his brain
while you're at it.
[10:47] N
The baby role-playing couple
easily clears the first...
[10:52] Kyubei
Can you stop that?
[10:55] Kyubei
I don't do this stuff.
[10:57] Kyubei
If you don't stop,
I'll call the manager.
[11:00] N
Oh! What could this mean?!
[11:02] N
The girlfriend Pinbei-chan was
actually a Pinko Salon Pin-girl!
[11:07] Gin
What's a Pinko Salon?!
[11:08] Gin
Why would he go to a place
like that in a game?!
[11:12] Kyubei
Hello?
[11:13] Kyubei
I got this weirdo customer here.
[11:15] Tojo
Ah! Wait!
[11:16] Tojo
I'll give you another thirty thousand!
[11:18] Kyubei
Manager, over here!
[11:19] Tojo
Not the manager!
[11:21] Tojo
Anyone but the manager!
[11:23] Gin
Now it's turned into a fighting game!
[11:25] N
Contestant 311 is in a match
with the manager!
[11:28] N
Now he must defeat the branch
manager, the head manager,
[11:31] N
the CEO, and then the last boss
Fri-beep-za, before he can return to his date!
[11:34] Gin
This is a completely different game!
[11:37] A
Look, Pinko absolutely stinks.
[11:39] A
How can they stand her as a girlfriend?
[11:41] N
Pinko-chan's reputation is
souring by the minute!
[11:44] Sa
That's absurd!
[11:45] Sa
Don't lump my Pin-san with his Pinko!
[11:47] N
Contestant 294 has made her move!
[11:50] N
She forcibly transformed her
Pinko-chan into Pin-san!
[11:53] Sa
Let's go inside, Pin-san.
SIGN Pin-san: Yes
[11:58] Sa
I'm starting to get nervous.
[12:00] Sa
How about you, Pin-san?
SIGN Yes
No
[12:02] Sa
Please, you're such a cool player.
[12:04] Sa
Why not show a little excitement?
[12:06] Gin
Cool player?! All he
can say is yes or no!
[12:09] Gin
He's turned into a Dragon
Quest main character!
SIGN Yes
No
[12:11] Sa
Gosh! Don't overdo it.
[12:14] Sa
We have a long night ahead of us.
SIGN Strategy
Keep using strong spells.
Conserve magic.
Pay no heed to HP.
[12:15] Gin
Why would you change strategies now?!
[12:18] Gin
Is that how it works?!
[12:19] Sa
Um, excuse me.
SIGN Welcome to the inn. It
will be 150g per go.
[12:21] Gin
Why is the clerk the innkeeper
from Dragon Quest?!
[12:24] N
It appears that she's hacked the game
so Dragon Quest characters appear!
SIGN Did you visit the item store next door?
Don't forget to equip your condom first.
[12:29] Gin
And what happened to being subtle?!
SIGN Item Shop
[12:32] Sa
Yes, we should buy items before
we go on our adventure.
[12:36] Sa
Oh, this is terrible!
SIGN Cypress Stick
[12:37] Sa
They only sell Cypress Sticks.
[12:39] Gin
What are we supposed to use that for?!
[12:41] Sa
We're supposed to go into a dangerous
cave without any armor?!
[12:44] Gin
Your cave is what's dangerous!
[12:46] Sa
Let me talk to the manager!
[12:49] Gin
Why?!
SIGN The Manager has appeared!
SIGN Fight
Defend
Magic
Escape
SIGN Normal Attack
Special Technique
SIGN The manager summoned help.
[12:50] Gin
Do you have to fight the
manager in this game?!
[12:53] Gin
And isn't this the same manager?
SIGN Part-timer A has appeared.
Part-timer B has appeared.
Part-timer C has appeared.
Part-timer D has appeared.
[12:54] Gin
It's the same manager!
[12:56] Gin
And why are you with them?!
[12:58] N
Now they must defeat Part-timers
A, C, the last boss,
[13:00] N
and D before Part-timer B can
become a full-time employee!
[13:04] Gin
Who gives a damn about Part-timer B?!
[13:07] N
Only one couple remains!
[13:08] ---
Will they be able to achieve victory?!
[13:11] Gin
C-Can we just skip this?
[13:13] Gin
We're the only ones left.
[13:14] Gin
We should advance by default.
[13:16] N
Oh, what's this?!
[13:18] N
Why are the finalists here?!
[13:22] Shin
H-Huh?
[13:23] Shin
We've gotten lost in a strange place.
[13:25] Shin
I'm sorry!
[13:26] Shin
Let's turn back.
[13:28] Momo
Yes.
[13:31] Momo
Then I'll make sure you don't
get lost by holding your hand.
[13:34] Shin
Huh?
[13:35] Shin
But Momo-san...
[13:36] Shin
This way is...
[13:38] Momo
Shinpachi-kun, you see...
[13:41] Momo
As long as I'm with you, I'm never lost.
[13:45] Momo
No,
[13:48] ---
as long as I'm with you...
[13:50] Momo
Let's get lost together.
[13:53] All
The sign!
[13:55] All
That's the sign!
[13:57] N
Shimura has barged into
the Pinko-chan contest
[14:00] ---
and taken an insurmountable lead!
[14:04] Okita
Huh?
[14:05] Okita
We've gotten lost in a strange place.
[14:07] Momo
Then I'll make sure you don't get lost.
[14:10] Okita
Hey.
[14:11] Okita
Who gave you permission
to walk in front of me?
[14:13] Sayaka
Master, I have followed
every one of your orders
[14:19] Sayaka
because it made me happy.
[14:22] Sayaka
But...
[14:23] Sayaka
I want to make you happy!
[14:27] Sayaka
I...
[14:28] Okita
Bubera!
[14:31] Sayaka
...want to grind my heels
into this filthy pig!
[14:35] Okita
Huh?
[14:36] Sayaka
Such a stupid pig.
[14:37] Sayaka
Your weak admonishments no
longer do anything for me!
[14:42] Sayaka
I'm going to teach you true
pain and pleasure, boy!
[14:46] All
The sign!
[14:48] All
We don't know what kind of sign it is, but
Sayaka-chan has given some kind of sign!
[14:51] N
Oh! Shimura is also joined by Okita
[14:54] N
with a newly awakened Sayaka-chan
as they step inside!
[14:58] N
What's going on?!
[14:59] N
Are they going to leave the Pinko-chan team
behind and enter the finals alone?!
[15:04] Kondo
What are you doing, Joe?!
[15:06] Kondo
The bell has rung!
[15:08] G
Seriously, what's wrong with him?
[15:10] H
He should make himself scarce.
[15:12] C
Nobody wants to see Pinko!
[15:13] C
Get lost!
[15:14] All
Go home! Go home! Go home!
[15:23] Kondo
Stand! Stand up, Joe!
[15:25] Kondo
The only one who can
save Shinpachi-kun...
[15:27] Kondo
The only one who can defeat
Sogo and avenge me...
[15:29] Kondo
The only one who can
protect Pinko-chan...
[15:32] Kondo
...is you, her boyfriend!
[15:34] Kondo
Teach them the true meaning of
a boyfriend, a girlfriend...
[15:39] Kondo
Of love!
[15:41] Kondo
Now stand!
[15:42] Kondo
Stand up, Joe!
[15:51] Pinko
Hey, you knocked off my kerchief.
[15:55] A
Th-That's...
[15:56] B
I-Impossible...
[15:58] B
Who...
[16:01] All
...is that?!
[16:04] Gin
Who is she?
[16:07] Gin
That should be obvious.
[16:10] Gin
She's my Pinko.
[16:12] Pinko
Let me go!
[16:14] D
No way!
[16:15] D
What's happened?!
[16:16] Shin
Wh-What is this?
[16:19] Kondo
He's finally woken up.
[16:22] Kondo
There are times when a grown-up
[16:23] ---
doesn't have the option
to request a change.
[16:25] Kondo
There are times when a grown-up
has no choice but to stand erect.
[16:30] Kondo
If virgins create illusions
to escape from reality,
[16:33] Kondo
grown-ups create illusions
to fight against reality.
[16:36] Kondo
Yes, illusions that are
capable of altering reality!
[16:41] Kondo
Love.
[16:43] Pinko
Th-That's not funny!
[16:45] Pinko
I'm not your woman!
[16:48] Pinko
I already said that I'm
gonna avenge En-beep-ri!
[16:52] N
Oh, it appears that Pinko-chan
hasn't changed on the inside!
[16:55] Pinko
Die!
[16:57] Enari
Mom, that's not helping, okay?
[17:02] A
En-beep-ri has also transformed!
[17:04] Enari
I'm sorry, Sakata-san.
[17:06] Enari
My mom needed to vent her grief
on someone after losing me!
[17:11] Gin
Except you're still talking!
[17:14] Enari
But the truth is that she appreciates
that you were always there for her...
[17:18] Pinko
Hey, what are you saying?
[17:20] Pinko
I was just tailing him.
[17:24] Pinko
And it wasn't because
I like you or anything!
[17:27] Pinko
I did it so I could kill you
whenever I wanted!
[17:30] Pinko
Don't get the wrong idea.
[17:32] Pinko
I don't like you at all!
[17:35] Enari
Mom, I never said that you liked him.
[17:44] All
A-A tsundere?!
[17:48] E
What?!
[17:49] E
How can such a worn-out genre
feel new and refreshing?!
[17:53] D
The impact of her tsun was doubled
because she was originally Pinko!
[17:57] D
The result is that the impact
of her dere is also double!
[18:01] Enari
I just want you to be happy.
[18:04] Enari
You shouldn't have to bear the burden
of a son who isn't even your own.
[18:08] Enari
You haven't been able to live
the life of a young girl.
[18:12] Pinko
I am your father's wife.
[18:14] Pinko
It doesn't matter if he's dead.
[18:17] Enari
Your relatives forced
you into that marriage.
[18:19] Enari
You never even held hands with Dad.
[18:21] All
Wh-What's that?!
[18:24] A
Impossible!
[18:25] A
A widow with a son, and
she's miraculously pure?!
[18:30] Pinko
But Tak-beep-zo was kind to me.
[18:33] Enari
Yes, Dad cared deeply for you.
[18:36] Enari
That's why he's wishing for
your happiness from up above.
[18:40] Takuzo
Pinko, go do it!
[18:42] All
Tak-beep-zo has given his permission?!
[18:47] Pinko
I-I guess I don't have a choice.
[18:49] Pinko
If Tak-beep-zo insists...
[18:50] Pinko
I don't want to do this, but
I guess I'll go with you...
[18:54] Pinko
But don't get the wrong idea.
[18:56] Pinko
I-I'm not the kind of girl who would
[18:59] ---
come to a place like this
with a man I don't like!
[19:05] N
There it is!
[19:09] N
Sakata has shown us the power
of an awakened Pinko-chan
[19:13] ---
and gone inside!
[19:15] Shin
An illusion to fight
against reality is love?!
[19:19] Shin
My ideal girlfriend will never lose
to a grown-up's disgusting fantasy!
[19:23] Shin
Isn't that right, Okita-san?!
[19:26] Shin
Okita-san?! Okita-san!
[19:29] Gin
Love isn't all it's cracked up to be!
[19:33] Gin
Just you watch!
[19:35] Shin
My love with Momo-san is eternal!
[19:37] Shin
This is the end!
SIGN The manager has appeared.
[19:42] Both
Why is the manager here?!
[19:44] N
Well, we can't actually
show what happens next,
[19:46] ---
so we'll use the manager instead.
[19:48] All
That only makes it worse!
[19:50] N
The final battle will be a contest
to send the manager to heaven!
[19:55] N
Managetris!
[19:57] Shin
What's that supposed to be?!
[19:59] Shin
After all that, I have
to face the manager?!
[20:02] N
Shimura has made mistake after mistake!
[20:03] N
He can't mask his frustration?!
[20:05] Shin
Damn! Damn!
[20:06] N
Oh, and here comes the penalty!
[20:10] N
A rain of managers!
[20:12] Shin
This is...
[20:13] N
Sakata!
[20:15] N
He's calmly sending managers to
heaven as though nothing happened!
[20:20] Shin
Y-You don't love your
girlfriend, Gin-san!
[20:23] Shin
So it doesn't matter if her
appearance has changed!
[20:25] Gin
That's true.
[20:26] Gin
But is it love in your case
if you're so easily disturbed?
[20:33] Gin
Women aren't going to follow
the script like in a game.
[20:36] Gin
The hottest girl around
will still fart and poop.
[20:40] Gin
Eventually, she'll age and
become an ugly manager.
[20:42] Shin
Uh, she won't turn into the manager!
[20:44] Gin
If you love someone, that means
you're ready to accept that.
[20:49] Gin
Love is the resolve to create an
illusion that accepts this reality.
[20:56] Gin
When you love a cold machine...
[20:59] Gin
If you can't show affection for
the manager, humans, reality,
[21:05] Gin
you have no right to speak of love!
[21:07] Gin
This is my love!
[21:10] Gin
56 straight Pinkos!
[21:15] N
There it is!
SIGN Winner Loser
[21:16] N
The manager has gone!
[21:18] N
It's over!
[21:20] N
Sakata has shown the virgins
what adult love is about!
[21:25] Gin
Stand up, Shinpachi.
[21:27] Gin
It's not over.
[21:29] Gin
This is a new beginning for you all.
[21:31] Gin
If you were able to pour
this much love into a game,
[21:35] Gin
I'm sure that you'll be able
to love a real person one day.
[21:40] Shin
Gin-san...
[21:41] Gin
That means you need to stop
playing games and face reality.
[21:46] Shin
Uh, well...
[21:47] Shin
You're the one who
needs to face reality.
[21:52] Okita
Most people wouldn't take
off their underwear.
[21:52] Sa
Gin-san! Over here!
[21:55] Kondo
We were on the verge of becoming him?
[21:58] Kondo
We need to wake up.
[22:01] Gin
Okay, I need to increase my
boyfriend level so I can go
[22:05] ---
on a trip to Atami next weekend.
SIGN Game Over
SIGN It Would Take Too Much Effort to Make This Title Sound Like a Text Message Subject
[23:40] Kagura
Next time:
[23:41] Kagura
It would take too much effort to make
this title sound like a text message subject.
E230 - It would take too much effort to make this title sound like a text message subject
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Kagura is broke, which is why she doesn't have a cell phone! But she wants to join in the text messaging fun!
SIGN Kagura manages to get her hands on a cell phone and makes an unexpected text pal!!
[01:42] Mari
So, that show was the best!
[01:45] Kagura
Yep, Kadono Takuzo did a great job as the boyfriend.
[01:49] Mari
Kagura-chan, that's a different show.
[01:51] Saki
Maybe I should watch it.
[01:53] Saki
But I want to start from the beginning.
[01:55] Mari
We can watch it together at my house.
[01:56] Mari
I recorded all the episodes.
[01:58] Kagura
Yes!
[01:59] Kagura
I can eat all the Happy Turns I want at Marippe's place!
[02:01] Mari
That's what you're interested in?
[02:04] Mari
I'll text you once I find out which day will work.
[02:06] Kagura
Text?
[02:07] Mari
Oh, Kagura-chan doesn't have a cell phone.
[02:09] Mari
I'll let you know in person once I get her text.
[02:16] Saki
Bye, Kagura-chan, Marippe.
[02:18] Mari
Saki-chan, text me your opinion of the show after you watch it.
SIGN It Would Take Too Much Effort to Make This Title Sound Like a Text Message Subject
[02:32] Kagura
Sadaemon!
[02:34] Kagura
Listen!
[02:35] Kagura
Giako and Suneko were showing off their cell phones!
[02:38] Kagura
These days, even babies are born with cell phones
dangling from their umbilical cords!
[02:43] Kagura
You never learn, Kagura-chan.
[02:45] Kagura
Cell phones are useful, especially at work,
[02:48] Kagura
but you'll need to check Gin-chan's four-dimensional pouch.
[02:53] Kagura
But I can't just ask him directly.
[02:56] Kagura
It would be so much easier if I could just text him.
[03:01] Gin
You don't need texting when you can
understand each other through your hearts.
[03:06] Gin
I'm sure you can understand how hard a cell phone is on the wallet.
[03:12] Gin
So shut that foul mouth of yours and sleep in the closet with me.
[03:19] Kagura
Don't be fooled, Kagura-chan.
[03:22] Kagura
Someone hacked into me and took control.
[03:25] Gin
You can drop the act now.
[03:26] Gin
Who sent you?
[03:27] Gin
Are you a spy from the Steel Troops?
[03:29] Kagura
Hey, don't say that! Riruru is our friend!
[03:33] Shin
Can't you talk to each other directly?!
[03:35] Shin
Why are you going through this convoluted process?!
[03:38] Shin
If you have something to say, say it to his face!
[03:41] Kagura
Mama, listen!
[03:42] Shin
Who's your mama?!
[03:43] Shin
Though my face is kind of similar!
[03:45] Kagura
We're the only ones who don't have cell phones!
[03:48] Kagura
At this rate, Odd Jobs will fall behind the times!
[03:52] Shin
Did you hear that?
[03:53] Gin
Enough of that!
[03:54] Gin
Our bamboo-copter is running on fumes
after paying for you and Sadademon's food.
[03:58] Gin
I don't need a cell phone to know how everyone feels.
[04:02] Gin
For example, Sadaemon wants to poop right now.
[04:05] Gin
And Mama read my mind and prepared a newspaper.
[04:08] Gin
So we don't need cell phones!
[04:10] Kagura
That's just a daily practice!
[04:12] Gin
If you insist on being selfish,
[04:14] Gin
you can use the Anywhere Door to join a family anywhere else!
[04:17] Kagura
Shut up!
[04:18] Kagura
I'll use the Air Cannon to knock off that funny hair!
[04:21] Gin
See? You know what I'm thinking!
[04:22] Gin
I was getting sick of this round hair!
[04:25] Shin
Uh, something's come out...
[04:25] Kagura
Sadaemon, drag stupid Papa into your four-dimensional pocket!
[04:28] Both
Huh?
[04:29] Shin
...of Sadaemon's four-dimensional pocket.
[04:33] Shin
Cell phones...
SIGN Doll House
[04:35] Gengai
I checked the data,
[04:37] Gengai
but the phones were busted to begin with, so I can't identify the owners.
[04:41] Gengai
The addresses were all changed to ne.jpuripuri.
[04:46] Gin
Well, they were covered in poop.
[04:48] Shin
Uh, why would that change the addresses?
[04:50] Kagura
So? Can we use them now?
[04:53] Gengai
You can't make calls.
[04:54] Gengai
The phone will add a puripuri to the end of everything you say.
[04:57] Shin
Isn't that more impressive than a working cell phone?!
[04:59] Gengai
You only have enough money for me to fix the texting function.
[05:08] Kagura
Yay!
[05:11] Kagura
Thanks, Gramps!
[05:12] Kagura
Thanks, Sadaemon!
[05:15] Gin
I don't want to carry around a cell phone that was covered in poop.
[05:19] Kagura
Humans are always carrying around poop.
[05:22] Kagura
The only difference is that it'll be in your hand instead of inside your body.
[05:24] Kagura
Give me those.
SIGN Odd Jobs
[05:27] Kagura
That should do it.
[05:28] Kagura
Now, we'll always be together, no matter where we go.
[05:32] Kagura
You have to carry this everywhere, okay?
[05:36] Kagura
Promise.
[05:39] Kagura
If you get lonely, you can text me!
[05:52] Gin
Man, why is someone calling me this early?
[05:56] Kagura
Good morning. It's a beautiful morning.
[06:05] Gin
What? It's already morning...?
[06:08] Kagura
Good night. Sweet dreams.
SIGN Bathroom
[06:19] Kagura
Good morning. Your poop is very smooth today.
[06:25] Shin
Okay, I locked the door today...
[06:26] Shin
Huh?
[06:29] Kagura
Good morning. Your poop is even smoother today.
[06:34] Gin
There it is! That's the cat!
[06:36] Gin
I'll circle around!
[06:37] Gin
You kids stay on its tail!
[06:43] Shin
Kagura-chan!
[06:45] Gin
Hey! Are you okay?!
[06:49] Kagura
I'm okay.
SIGN Snack Otose
[06:53] Kagura
Could you pass me the Kleenex?
[06:56] Kagura
Does this come in an M?
[06:58] Kagura
That M is for Michael.
[07:01] Kagura
Not that Michael. Michael Douglas.
[07:03] Both
Talk to our faces!
[07:05] Gin
Why do you have to text every little stupid thing?!
[07:08] Shin
And she's not even talking to us?!
[07:12] Shin
She's talking to a clerk in some clothing store!
[07:15] Kagura
No, this isn't a clothing store. It's a Michael store.
[07:20] Gin
Hey!
[07:21] Both
Cut it out!
[07:22] Gin
Who cares if it's M or Michael?!
[07:25] Otose
This is a surprise.
[07:26] Otose
I wouldn't have expected her to be so enthusiastic about a cell phone.
[07:29] Gin
This is more than being enthusiastic!
[07:30] Gin
She sends us pointless updates every five minutes!
[07:33] Gin
I'm sick of it!
[07:34] Cath
Girls love to chitchat through letters and the like.
[07:37] Cath
When I was in school...
[07:39] A
Pass this to Catherine.
SIGN Challenge
[07:41] Shin
How long ago was this?!
[07:43] Shin
And did everyone hate you?!
[07:46] Tama
Sometimes, it's easier to say things through
a written medium than talking face-to-face.
[07:51] Tama
This may be the real Kagura-sama.
[07:54] Tama
Are you replying to her?
[07:56] Gin
We can't do that.
[07:58] Gin
She's using text messages to talk to us now.
[08:01] Tama
It's possible that she keeps sending
texts because she's waiting for a reply.
[08:05] Otose
Men always act cool and never say what needs to be said.
[08:10] Otose
They expect other people to know how they feel.
[08:13] Otose
But sometimes, women just want to hear those words.
[08:17] Otose
Just send her a nice text.
[08:20] Otose
Here, this is your chance!
[08:22] Cath
Answer the phone!
[08:23] Cath
Respond with, "I'm actually a pedo!"
[08:26] Gin
I'll kill you, you rotten banana!
[08:27] Gin
Shinpachi, it's all yours.
[08:29] Shin
Gi-Gin-san!
[08:30] Otose
Well? What did it say?
[08:32] Cath
Move it, hag!
[08:33] Cath
I want to see!
[08:34] Shin
Hey, don't look at my phone!
[08:37] Cath
Hmm? Where are you right now?
[08:39] Tama
Wasn't she here just a moment ago? Why is she asking this?
[08:44] Shin
Huh? Now there's a text from Gin-san.
[08:46] Gin
Shut up! I'm at a pachinko-
[08:48] Otose
It's cut off.
[08:51] Otose
Was he replying to Kagura-chan?
[08:53] Shin
He accidentally hit reply to all.
[08:56] Shin
And he wrote his message in the subject.
[08:58] Otose
So he's actually replying to Kagura.
[09:01] Cath
Your wallpaper is gross!
[09:03] Shin
Shut up!
[09:03] Shin
Rotten banana on the ground!
SIGN You have a new message.
[09:05] Tama
Oh, there's another one.
SIGN Where are you right now?
[09:08] Cath
It's the same message again.
[09:09] Cath
Wait, is something wrong?
[09:11] Shin
Huh? I just noticed...
[09:14] Shin
This isn't from Kagura-chan...
[09:16] Shin
Who sent this?
SIGN Return the cell phone.
[09:23] Shin
Tell me where you are at once.
[09:24] Shin
If you leak the information in those phones, you're dead.
[09:28] Shin
It's from the owner of this phone!
[09:31] Otose
They're threatening to kill you...
[09:32] Otose
It must be someone dangerous.
[09:34] Cath
What kind of information is in this phone?!
[09:37] Shin
I don't know!
[09:38] Shin
Gengai-san said that the phones were busted and there wasn't any data left!
[09:43] Tama
In any case, you should contact Gintoki-sama and Kagura-sama.
[09:47] Shin
It's from Gin-san!
[09:48] Shin
Did they find him already?!
[09:51] Gin
Shut up! I'm at a pachinko
[09:53] Gin
parlor playing with balls!
[09:55] Shin
He's picking up from where his message cut off!
[09:58] Shin
What is he doing?!
[10:00] Shin
He just gave away his location to everyone!
[10:03] Tama
That means the owner will head straight to the parlor?
[10:05] Shin
Of course not!
[10:08] Tama
Oh, there's another text.
[10:09] Shin
It must be from the owner!
[10:11] Otose
Look at the message.
[10:12] Shin
I don't want to!
[10:13] Shin
Catherine-san, you look!
[10:14] Cath
Screw that! Aren't you a man?!
[10:16] Cath
Answer the phone, hag!
[10:16] Otose
Who are you calling a man?!
[10:18] Shin
Tama-san!
[10:19] Otose
Wh-What does it say?
SIGN From: Kyubei
[10:21] Kyu
You're playing with balls?
[10:24] Shin
Somebody completely different joined the conversation!
[10:27] ---
Did you come out of the closet?
[10:31] Kyu
Are you going to have an operation?
[10:33] Kyu
Can I have yours?
[10:35] Kyu
We need to talk.
[10:36] Kyu
Please reply.
[10:38] Shin
What is she talking about?!
[10:39] Shin
What does she want to do?!
[10:41] Tama
There are more messages.
SIGN From: Saigo
[10:43] Saigo
Welcome. I'm glad to hear that.
[10:46] Saigo
Tell Pako that he can become No. 1 at my place.
[10:49] Shin
This has turned into a completely different
conversation in a completely different world.
SIGN From: Tojo
[10:53] Tojo
What a coincidence.
[10:54] Tojo
I was also playing with balls.
[10:56] Shin
And this guy is in his own little world!
[10:59] Shin
Ah...
SIGN From: Zura Sub: It's not Zura, it's Katsura
[11:00] Zura
It appears that you're having trouble...
[11:03] Shin
Katsura-san!
[11:04] Zura
However, I assure you that I can ease your pain.
[11:09] Shin
Is he going to help us?!
SIGN The Perfect Happiness Theory The Joi Patriot Happiness Doctrine
[11:12] Zura
Join the Joi patriots and find happiness.
[11:15] Zura
We have a testimonial from Mrs. E who was able to find her happiness.
SIGN Mrs. E
[11:19] E
I didn't think it would be so easy to become a Joi patriot.
[11:24] Katsura
The Joi will help find your joy.
[11:27] Shin
It's just spam!
[11:30] Shin
And they're getting worse!
[11:32] Shin
Damn! This will never end!
[11:34] Otose
Hey, Shinpachi!
[11:38] Kagura
Gin-chan, I made a new text pal.
[11:43] Shin
Damn! Damn!
[11:45] Shin
Why aren't they replying?!
[11:46] Shin
What are they doing?!
[11:49] Kagura
I'm about to meet my new text pal.
[11:51] Kagura
I can't wait.
[11:52] Kagura
I'll introduce you some time.
[12:05] Shin
Kagura-chan!
[12:06] Shin
Whew, she finally saw my mail!
[12:09] Kagura
I'm meeting with my text pal offline.
[12:11] Kagura
He's a very nice person!
[12:12] Kagura
Death Cancer-san is also eager to meet you guys.
[12:16] Shin
Uh, that's not a text pal!
[12:18] Shin
I guarantee it!
[12:19] Shin
There's nothing peaceful about his peace sign!
[12:21] Shin
His name is Death Cancer!
[12:24] Shin
He got to her first!
[12:26] Shin
This isn't an offline meeting!
Kagura-chan's been taken hostage!
[12:31] Cancer
Your buddy is in my hands.
[12:34] Cancer
Bring the cell phones to the family restaurant on 2nd within 10 minutes.
[12:37] Shin
It's the owner!
[12:40] Cancer
You have 10 minutes.
[12:41] Cancer
No one has stood before my Death Cancer (claws of death)
for 10 minutes and survived.
[12:45] Cancer
I'm sure you know what will happen if you're late. (Murder.)
[12:50] Shin
This is bad!
[12:51] Shin
This guy is obviously one of those people!
[12:53] Shin
He's using emoticons I've never seen before!
[12:55] Shin
I've never seen anyone go (Murder) before!
[12:57] Shin
That settles it.
[12:59] Shin
This guy must be an assassin of some kind!
[13:00] Shin
W-We've picked up some unbelievable cell phones!
[13:04] Shin
Gin-san!
[13:05] Shin
He must have realized the danger we're in after seeing that text!
[13:09] Gin
Sorry, I'm at a pachinko
[13:11] Gin
parlor playing with balls real good.
[13:13] Gin
Could you give me ten more minutes?
[13:15] Shin
He still doesn't know how to use a cell phone!
[13:17] Shin
And he's still playing pachinko?!
[13:18] Shin
Doesn't he care about us?!
SIGN From: Death Cancer
[13:21] Death
What do you mean, real good? (Murder.)
[13:24] Shin
This is really bad!
[13:25] Shin
He's mad! It says (Murder)!
[13:27] Gin
I'm doing so well it's like the pachinko
[13:29] Gin
goddess of balls has blessed me!
[13:31] Gin
My balls are on a high!
[13:32] Gin
I can't stop! Can't stop!
[13:34] Shin
It's a miracle how his texts can sound so wrong!
[13:36] Shin
Stop it! Stop antagonizing him!
SIGN From: Death Cancer
[13:39] Death
No one has stood before my Death Cancer (claws of death)
for 10 minutes and survived.
[13:42] Death
Are you somewhere I can reach within ten minutes? (Must.)
[13:45] Shin
Hey! He wants to go to him now!
[13:47] Shin
And now it's a (Must)!
[13:50] Gin
Can you come to me?
[13:51] Gin
The name of the place is Fever.
SIGN Pachinko Fever
[13:53] Shin
You shouldn't tell him that!
[13:54] Shin
Run away! Gin-san, run away!
[13:57] Kagura
We're meeting up
[13:58] Kagura
somewhere different.
[13:59] Kagura
Hurry up, Shinpachi!
SIGN Balls Fever
[14:01] Shin
That's the wrong place!
[14:02] Shin
He's got it wrong!
[14:03] Shin
We sent Death Cancer to the wrong place!
SIGN From: Death Cancer
[14:06] Death
You lied to me.
[14:08] Shin
He's really mad in this message!
[14:10] Death
There are only 30 minute and 60 minute options.
[14:12] Death
There isn't a 10 minute option. (Murder.)
[14:15] Shin
That's why he's mad?!
[14:16] Shin
He would rather take the 10 minute option?!
SIGN From: Death Cancer
[14:18] Death
No matter then.
[14:19] Death
I'll be finished in 30 minutes, so we can meet up again in 40 minutes.
[14:22] Shin
So you're off to your fever?!
[14:25] Shin
Why did he even come here?!
[14:27] Shin
Doesn't he want his cell phones back?!
[14:29] Shin
Oh, that's right!
[14:30] Shin
This is my chance to tell Kagura-chan to run away!
[14:34] Kagura
Looks like we're still meeting
[14:35] Kagura
up at the same time.
[14:37] Shin
Ten minutes?! He didn't even last 10 seconds!
[14:39] Shin
How fast is this guy?!
SIGN From: Death Cancer
[14:41] Death
No one has stood before my Death Cancer (claws of death)
for 10 minutes and survived.
[14:45] Shin
Your Death Cancer is the one that couldn't survive!
[14:48] Shin
Stop posing!
[14:49] Gin
That's the wrong place.
[14:51] Gin
Kagura, show him the way.
[14:52] Gin
It's the place on the corner of 3rd where I'm always playing with balls.
SIGN Pachinko Fever
[14:56] Shin
You don't have to tell him this!
[14:58] Kagura
You mean here?
[15:00] Shin
Nobody told you to smash his balls into a corner!
[15:02] Shin
Hey! Is Death Cancer-san okay!
SIGN From: Holy Cancer Sub: (claws of hope)
[15:06] Holy
I feel like I just woke up from a very long nightmare.
[15:11] Shin
Who are you?!
[15:12] Shin
You're a completely different person, Holy Cancer!
[15:14] Shin
He's become enlightened after his balls were smashed!
[15:17] Holy
Forgive me... I just wanted my cell phones back.
[15:22] Holy
You see, those three cell phones
[15:23] Holy
each hold memories I can't forget...
[15:26] Holy
No, they hold memories I should never forget.
[15:29] Shin
Uh, shouldn't you tell us this after we meet up?
[15:32] Holy
I may sound eloquent over the phone,
[15:35] Holy
but I'm actually a shy man who can
barely look another person in the eye,
[15:38] Holy
much less talk to someone face-to-face.
[15:42] Holy
It must have been a twist of fate
that I ended up marrying such a talkative woman.
[15:49] Shin
He's doing a flashback through a text message!
[15:50] Shin
What's going on?!
[15:51] Shin
And you were a a barber?!
[15:54] Holy
I worked as a barber,
but I kept losing customers because I never talked much.
[16:00] Shin
I don't think that's why you lost customers.
[16:01] Holy
That was when my wife gave me a cell phone.
[16:08] Holy
She thought that I might be able
to speak through words, through a text message.
[16:12] Wife
The silent artist thing works,
[16:15] Wife
but you should learn to joke in front of your wife.
[16:19] Death
I-I'm too old to fool around with that text messaging nonsense.
[16:27] Wife
Yet you're still wearing those claws of yours.
[16:31] Death
The words which brought a rare smile to my wife's face
[16:34] Death
ended up being my last words to her.
[16:40] Holy
Those cell phones are filled with the words I was never able to say to her.
[16:47] Holy
They will never reach her,
[16:49] Holy
but they are still precious to me.
[16:56] Death
I went to a cabaret club today!
[16:59] Death
I went to a pink salon today!
[17:01] Death
I think I'll go all the way to Yoshiwara today!
[17:04] Both
Your messages are stupid!
[17:06] Gin
How could you send these dirty texts to heaven?!
[17:09] Holy
You've got it wrong.
[17:11] Holy
I was searching for heaven, so I could reach my wife.
[17:14] Shin
You're headed straight to hell!
[17:17] Holy
Those cell phones are priceless.
[17:21] Holy
Could you please return them?
[17:24] Gin
T-Texting is a pain in the ass anyway.
[17:29] Shin
We're not cut out for this high-tech stuff.
[17:33] Holy
R-Really?!
[17:35] Holy
Thank you so much!
SIGN Odd Jobs
[17:38] Kagura
Now, we'll always be together, no matter where we go.
[17:44] Shin
Come on, Kagura-chan.
[17:49] Kagura
No way.
[17:51] Shin
Kagura-chan...
[17:54] Kagura
I haven't received a text message yet.
[17:58] Kagura
That couple is connected, even though they're far apart.
[18:02] Kagura
Unlike us.
[18:05] Kagura
Stop dwelling in the past, stupid old man!
[18:08] Kagura
We're the ones who aren't able to say what we need to!
SIGN Message Sent
[18:12] Kagura
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
[18:17] Shin
Wait, Kagura-chan!
[18:18] Shin
Kagura-chan!
SIGN Odd Jobs
[18:46] Holy
I appreciate you coming to her third anniversary.
[18:51] Gin
We were brought together for a reason.
[18:53] Gin
Well, the reason involved poop.
[18:57] Shin
Anyway, I'm sorry.
[18:58] Shin
Kagura-chan still has that phone.
[19:01] Shin
I'll make sure that she returns it.
[19:03] Holy
It's okay.
[19:04] Holy
She helped me realize something.
[19:07] Holy
I wasn't doing it for my wife's sake.
[19:10] Holy
I was trying to make myself feel better.
[19:14] Holy
I'll stop sending text messages to myself.
[19:17] Holy
I'm sure that my wife was hoping
I would learn to speak with friends face-to-face.
[19:26] Holy
So I'll send the one final message that I've always wanted to send,
[19:30] Holy
and that will be that.
[19:35] Holy
Okay, I've said my goodbyes.
[19:39] Holy
Take good care of them.
[19:41] Shin
Huh?
[19:42] Holy
Please use them.
[19:45] Holy
Men always think that words aren't necessary to express how you feel,
[19:50] Holy
but in the end, you're left regretting
[19:54] ---
how you were never able to say those things.
[20:00] Holy
I don't want you to end up that way.
[20:05] Gin
Sorry, but we can't accept these.
[20:07] Holy
Huh?
[20:09] Gin
These gizmos are too small to express our twisted feelings.
[20:13] Gin
We're meant to communicate outside the network.
[20:17] Gin
Besides, you aren't finished with those yet.
[20:22] Gin
Your wife hasn't responded yet.
[20:27] Holy
Wh-What are you saying?
[20:30] Holy
She can't respond to me...
[20:35] Gin
That's the power of a text from Holy Cancer.
[20:38] Shin
It's not that strange for a text message to make it up to heaven.
[20:47] Holy
I see...
[20:48] Holy
My last message reached her...
[20:54] Wife
I should be thanking you.
[20:56] Wife
Have fun with your friends.
[20:58] Holy
When did she start using emotes?
[21:19] Kagura
Did it reach heaven?
[21:24] Gin
Beats me.
[21:25] Gin
If you got the message through to an idiot,
[21:27] Gin
you probably got it through to heaven.
[21:40] Holy
I suppose that they don't need these.
[22:00] Gin
Hey, why are you grinning?
[22:03] Gin
It's creeping me out.
[22:04] Shin
No kidding.
[22:05] Kagura
It's nothing.
SIGN When You Go To A Funeral For the First Time, You're Surprised By How Happy the People Are
[23:40] Toshi
Next time:
[23:41] Toshi
When you go to a funeral for the first time,
[23:42] Toshi
you're surprised by how happy the people are.
SIGN The owner of the restaurant Gintoki and Hijikata frequent has sadly passed away.
SIGN No more special mayonnaise on rice or Uji Kintoki on rice... As they say their farewells, they notice something odd about the owner?!
E231 - When you go to a funeral for the first time, you're surprised by how happy the people are
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN The beloved owner of the local restaurant will be sorely missed by everyone.
SIGN That is why this episode of Gintama will be a solemn and dignified affair.
SIGN Closed during this period of mourning. - Restaurant Owner
[01:48] Gin
Our condolences.
[01:50] A
I'm so glad everyone from Odd
Jobs came to see him off.
[01:53] Gin
Don't say that.
[01:55] Gin
We owe him too much to skip his funeral.
[01:58] A
You're too kind...
[02:01] Shin
No, your husband would still feed
us when we were completely broke.
[02:06] Kagura
I loved his sukonbu on rice.
[02:09] Gin
It's so sad...
[02:10] Gin
I'll never get to try his
Uji Kintoki on rice again.
[02:14] A
Stop it. This isn't like you.
[02:16] A
You all know that he hated
it when people were gloomy.
[02:19] A
We should send him off with a smile,
in honor of his fun-loving ways.
[02:24] A
I'm sure that's what he would want.
[02:27] Gin
You're right...
[02:28] Gin
Sorry about that.
SIGN When You Go to a Funeral for the First Time, You're Surprised By How Happy the People Are
[02:35] Shin
A lot of people came.
[02:37] Gin
Yeah.
[02:38] Gin
Just goes to show how
good of a person he was.
[02:41] Gin
There aren't many restaurants that
serve food tailored to each customer.
[02:46] Gin
He didn't make much money,
[02:48] Gin
but it earned him something
that money could never buy...
[02:50] Toshi
Owner!
[02:52] Toshi
Why? Why did you have to die so soon?
[02:55] Toshi
Why?!
[02:58] Kondo
Toshi, calm down.
[02:59] Kondo
His spirit is watching us.
[03:00] Toshi
Owner, your body may have perished,
[03:03] Toshi
but the taste of your Hijikata
Special will never die!
[03:08] Shin
I see some familiar faces...
[03:11] Gin
Right...
[03:13] Gin
He also used to come here.
[03:17] Shin
Uh, Gin-san?
[03:19] Shin
Please don't start a fight here.
[03:30] Toshi
A tragic loss...
[03:33] Gin
Yeah, another one of Edo's
treasures has been lost.
[03:37] Shin
What?
[03:38] Shin
Why are they behaving themselves today?
[03:41] Kagura
They must be really hurting.
[03:43] Kondo
The owner was one of the few people
[03:44] Kondo
who was able to understand
their bizarre sense of taste.
[03:46] Kondo
We should be respectful of their wishes.
[03:53] A
Namo Amita Buddha Namo Amita Buddha
[04:02] A
Nammy Amita Buddha
[04:06] A
Jam Amita Buddha Sam Amita Buddha...
[04:10] Shin
The monk is kind of fooling around.
[04:14] Shin
I hope he doesn't get hit by lightning.
[04:19] A
Nemo Amigo Budapest
[04:23] A
NAFTA Amsterdam Budweiser...
[04:33] Shin
Ow! What are you doing, Gin-san?!
[04:35] Gin
Hey, look!
[04:37] Gin
Over there! Look!
[04:40] Shin
What do you mean?
[04:41] Gin
No, over there!
[04:42] Gin
Look at that!
[04:43] Shin
Could you pipe down?
[04:44] Shin
Don't make a scene!
[04:46] Gin
No, no, no! Look at that!
[04:48] Gin
Just look!
[04:50] Kagura
This is embarrassing.
[04:51] Kagura
Let's pretend we don't know him.
[04:53] Shin
What is he doing?
[04:54] Gin
Uh, wait...
[04:55] Kondo
Hey! Stop it, Toshi!
[04:56] Kondo
What are you talking about?
[04:57] Toshi
No, no, no! Over there!
[04:59] Toshi
Just look over there!
[05:01] Okita
Aren't you a little old to be
getting excited about a funeral?
[05:04] Okita
Don't worry. We'll be holding
a funeral for you very soon.
[05:07] Toshi
No, no, no! Look!
[05:09] Toshi
Just look at that!
[05:09] Toshi
Look!
[05:10] Gin
Can you see it?
[05:17] Toshi
Wh-What is that?
[05:19] Toshi
Are we the only ones who can
see it? Is that what this is?
[05:23] Gin
Nah, I don't think it's
what you think it is.
[05:26] Gin
It's probably no big
deal. We should be okay.
[05:28] Toshi
I-It's not okay.
[05:29] Toshi
It is what I think it is.
[05:30] Toshi
I mean, i-it's the owner!
[05:33] Gin
Don't be stupid!
[05:35] Gin
The owner is dead!
[05:36] Gin
This is his funeral!
[05:37] Gin
Besides, he was never this transparent!
[05:40] Gin
He had a real distinct presence!
[05:42] Gin
This is someone else!
[05:43] Toshi
That's true.
[05:44] Toshi
He certainly had a presence!
A distinct presence!
[05:46] Toshi
He wasn't transparent!
[05:49] Toshi
Uh, doesn't the whole transparent
thing seem wrong to you?
[05:51] Toshi
Even if he isn't the owner, something's
wrong when he's transparent.
[05:55] Gin
Then it must be the owner.
[05:57] Gin
You know how he couldn't hide
what he was thinking sometimes?
[06:00] Gin
He was so transparent.
[06:02] Toshi
Yeah, that's true.
[06:03] Toshi
He was.
[06:04] Toshi
He could be transparent at times.
[06:08] Toshi
Wait, but something's
wrong if it is the owner.
[06:10] Toshi
Why would the dead owner be
sitting up there all transparent?
[06:13] Toshi
Something's wrong...
[06:14] Gin
Well, that must mean he's a ghost.
[06:17] Toshi
Oh, I see now.
[06:19] Toshi
It's a ghost.
[06:22] Shin
Hey! What are you doing?!
[06:25] Gin
I-I need to go to the restroom!
[06:27] Toshi
My legs are numb from kneeling so long!
[06:29] Gin
Let me go! What are you doing?!
[06:33] Toshi
Hey!
[06:34] Toshi
The owner's looking at us!
[06:35] Toshi
He's staring right at us!
[06:36] Gin
Oh, damn!
[06:37] Gin
Don't look at him!
[06:38] Gin
Pretend we can't see him!
[06:40] Toshi
Hey! He's coming for us!
[06:41] Toshi
The owner's coming for
us! What do we do?!
[06:43] Gin
Play dead! Play dead!
[06:45] Toshi
Play dead?! He's the one who's dead!
[06:47] Toshi
He's actually dead!
[06:49] Mom
Hey, Tatsukichi!
[06:50] Mom
What do you think you're doing?
[06:51] Tatsu
What? The monk's gonna
be at this forever!
[06:54] Mom
Stupid! Put that way!
[06:56] Mom
It's disrespectful!
[06:57] Tatsu
I don't care!
[06:58] Tatsu
He should be grateful I even
came to this boring funeral!
[07:05] Mom
Tatsukichi?!
[07:06] Mom
What happened to you, Tatsukichi?!
[07:08] Mom
I'm sorry. It appears that
my son has gotten sick.
[07:12] Mom
We'll have to excuse ourselves.
[07:23] Kondo
Toshi, weren't you
going to the restroom?
[07:25] Toshi
N-No, I'm good now.
[07:27] Shin
You're good now?
[07:29] Shin
But you're both shaking.
[07:30] Shin
It's not healthy to hold it in.
[07:32] Gin
N-No, we're good.
[07:34] Toshi
H-He's monitoring us.
[07:37] Toshi
The owner returned from hell to make sure
that his funeral goes off without a hitch.
[07:42] Gin
This is bad.
[07:44] Gin
If anything goes wrong
with this funeral...
[07:47] Both
The owner will curse us to death!
[07:49] Hiji
Just like that monk who was reading
weird sutras while falling asleep...
[07:53] Hiji
Who knows what he'll do to us?!
[07:56] Gin
This isn't funny!
[07:58] Gin
I came here to say goodbye
to the nice owner!
[08:02] Gin
I'm not here to see
that hard-boiled guy!
[08:05] A
Excuse me. It's your
turn to burn incense.
[08:07] Toshi
Huh?!
[08:08] A
It's your turn to burn incense.
[08:10] A
The relatives have all taken their turn,
[08:12] A
so you're the only ones left.
[08:14] Toshi
Hey, it's already our
turn to burn incense.
[08:18] Toshi
What do we do?
[08:19] Gin
Don't be absurd.
[08:20] Gin
I'm already about to piss my pants.
[08:22] Gin
I'm not about to try aroma
therapy right next to him!
[08:25] Gin
I'll have other aromas coming out of my ass!
[08:27] Gin
And wait, how does burning incense work?
[08:29] Gin
I know you walk up there and sprinkle
something, but my memory's all hazy.
[08:32] Toshi
Are you an idiot?!
Aren't you a grown-up?!
[08:34] Toshi
You sprinkle it three times on your
forehead and do that, then that, and that!
[08:37] Gin
All you're saying is
to do that and that!
[08:39] Gin
Your memory's just as hazy as mine!
[08:40] Toshi
Once I'm up there, I'll remember
what to do! I'm not like you!
[08:43] Gin
You go first then!
[08:45] Toshi
Hell no! You go!
[08:46] Shin
I'll go first then.
[08:48] Shin
Watch me, Kagura-chan.
[08:49] Gin
Wait, Shinpachi!
[08:50] Gin
Let's not be hasty!
[08:51] Shin
Huh? Hasty?
[08:52] Shin
Kagura-chan doesn't know how this
works, so I'm going to show her.
[08:55] Gin
Can you do it?!
[08:56] Gin
Don't screw it up!
[08:57] Gin
Come back alive!
[08:58] Gin
Promise me!
[08:59] Shin
Are you making fun of me?
[09:00] Shin
Whatever.
[09:01] Shin
Watch me, Kagura-chan.
SIGN 1) Bow to the relatives and monk.
[09:03] Shin
First, you go to where the incense
is and bow to the relatives and monk.
SIGN 2) Pay your respects to the portrait.
[09:07] Shin
Then you kneel down before the incense
and pay your respects to the portrait.
[09:11] Shin
Hold the beads in your left hand and use
your right hand to take a pinch of incense
SIGN 3) Hold the beads in your left hand and
use your right hand to take a pinch of incense
SIGN and brush it against your forehead before placing the incense in the burner. Do this three times.
[09:14] Shin
and brush it against your forehead
before placing the incense in the burner.
[09:17] Shin
Do this three times.
SIGN 4) Pay your respects to the portrait
again and bow to the relatives.
[09:19] Shin
Finally, pay your respects to the
portrait again and bow to the relatives.
[09:23] Shin
Okay, all done.
[09:25] Shin
Well, isn't it easy?
[09:26] Gin
Mission complete!
[09:28] Gin
I knew you could pull it off!
[09:30] Gin
We'll throw a party to celebrate.
[09:31] Gin
Put on your best clothes!
[09:32] Shin
You're starting to piss me off.
[09:34] Shin
What's this about? Are you
trying to belittle me?
[09:36] Toshi
You still have much to
learn, in my opinion,
[09:39] Toshi
but you look like a man now.
[09:41] Shin
Why are you making such a
fuss about burning incense?!
[09:43] Shin
Did you people really
think I couldn't do it?!
[09:45] Toshi
Look, the owner seems happier now.
[09:49] Toshi
I think we're gonna survive this ordeal.
[09:52] Kagura
Okay, I'll go next.
[09:55] Gin
Kagura, do exactly what Shinpachi did!
[09:57] Gin
Don't screw up!
[09:58] Kagura
I got this!
[09:59] Kagura
I remember everything perfectly!
[10:01] Kagura
Um, first is...
SIGN 1) Bow to the relatives and monk.
[10:04] Kagura
Make the monk bow.
[10:06] Gin
You're already completely off!
SIGN 2) Pay your respects to the portrait.
[10:09] Kagura
Respect, yo!
[10:11] Kagura
Everyone with me!
[10:13] Monk
Yo...
[10:14] Gin
That's not what it means!
[10:15] Gin
You don't have to listen to her, monk!
SIGN 3) Hold the beads in your left hand and use
your right hand to take a pinch of incense and brush
[10:17] Gin
Monk!
SIGN it against your forehead before placing the incense in the burner. Do this three times.
SIGN 4) Pay your respects to the portrait
again and bow to the relatives.
[10:20] Kagura
Respect, yo!
[10:21] Monk
Yo...
[10:23] Gin
Monk!
[10:25] Kagura
Is that good enough?
[10:26] Gin
Were you even watching Shinpachi?!
[10:29] Gin
Who told you to turn the
monk's head into a pulp?!
[10:31] Kagura
My legs were numb from
kneeling so long...
[10:34] Gin
What do your legs have
to do with anything?!
[10:35] Gin
Your head is what's numb!
[10:36] Toshi
Damn, the owner's getting mad.
[10:39] Toshi
We need to fix this funeral!
[10:41] Toshi
Add another step to the flowchart!
SIGN 1) Bow to the relatives and monk.
[10:42] Toshi
After we bow to the relatives and monk,
[10:44] Toshi
we resurrect the monk!
SIGN 2) Resurrect the monk.
[10:46] Toshi
Then we burn incense!
SIGN 3) Kneel before the incense and pay your respects to the portrait.
[10:47] Okita
I'll go next then.
[10:49] Toshi
Sogo! Are you sure about this?!
[10:50] Toshi
Can you do this?!
[10:51] Toshi
Can you manage it?!
[10:52] Toshi
Can I trust you?!
[10:53] Okita
It'll be just fine.
SIGN 1) Bow to the relatives and monk.
[10:55] Okita
I just have to follow
your flowchart, right?
[10:59] Okita
Bow to the relatives monkey hair.
SIGN 1) Bow to the relatives and monkey.
[11:01] Toshi
You already screwed up!
[11:02] Toshi
Don't screw with the flowchart!
[11:04] Toshi
We're getting nowhere!
[11:07] Toshi
Forget it!
[11:08] Toshi
Forget the incense! Just
resurrect the monk!
[11:10] Toshi
What the hell?!
[11:13] Toshi
Nobody told you to resurrect his hair!
[11:15] Toshi
Nothing's changed!
[11:17] Toshi
We just have a dead
body with a wig on it!
[11:19] Okita
No.
[11:20] Okita
He looks happier now.
[11:23] Toshi
Isn't that nice, monk.
[11:25] Toshi
Who gives a damn?!
[11:26] Gin
Hey! The owner's completely
pissed off now!
[11:29] Gin
He's gone SSJ!
[11:31] Toshi
Prioritize the rescue of the monk!
[11:34] Toshi
First, we resurrect the monk!
SIGN 1) Resurrect the monk.
SIGN 2) Bow to the relatives and monk.
[11:35] Toshi
Then we bow to the relatives and monk!
[11:38] Gin
Wait!
[11:39] Gin
There's another dead body!
[11:40] Gin
It's one of the relatives!
[11:41] Toshi
Why would he die from losing his wig?!
[11:43] Toshi
How weak is he?!
[11:44] Toshi
And why is everyone ignoring him?!
[11:46] Toshi
Are they trying to pretend that they
didn't notice he was wearing a wig?!
[11:48] Toshi
Are they trying to be nice?!
[11:49] Kondo
That settles it.
SIGN 1) Resurrect the monk and relative.
[11:51] Kondo
We'll have to start by resurrecting
the monk and relative.
SIGN 2) Bow and apologize to the relatives and monk.
[11:54] Kondo
Then we bow and apologize
to the relatives and monk.
[11:58] Kondo
Or else the owner's
funeral will be a wreck.
[12:00] Kondo
I'll take responsibility
and get everything fixed.
[12:04] Toshi
Kondo-san!
[12:05] Kondo
Just watch.
[12:07] Kondo
I'm the eldest one here, so I have
more experience with funerals.
[12:10] Kondo
I could burn incense in my sleep.
[12:13] Kondo
First, resurrect the monk!
[12:15] Kondo
Please kneel here and read the sutra.
[12:17] Toshi
That's the bald relative!
[12:18] Kondo
Then resurrect the relative!
[12:20] Kondo
I apologize for the
trouble we've caused.
[12:22] Toshi
That's the relative's wig!
[12:24] Kondo
And here is the fish drum.
[12:26] Toshi
Stop torturing the monk!
[12:28] Gin
Enough already!
[12:30] Gin
You're making it worse!
[12:32] Toshi
And why is the relative
acting like he's the monk?
[12:35] Kondo
I'm guessing he's temporarily
lost his memories from the shock.
[12:37] Toshi
He lost what was on top of his
head, not what's inside his head!
[12:40] Gin
Hey!
[12:41] Gin
The owner is so pissed!
[12:42] Gin
He's about to fire a Spirit Bomb!
[12:46] Gin
Screw this!
[12:47] Gin
You people are ruining everything!
[12:49] Toshi
Hey, wait!
[12:50] Toshi
You're going to run away by
yourself?! I don't think so!
[12:52] Shin
Hey! Wait, Gin-san!
[12:54] Shin
The funeral isn't over...
[12:57] Gin
Shi-Shinpachi?
[13:01] A
Oh, what's wrong?
[13:03] B
Their legs must be numb
from all the kneeling.
[13:12] Both
He took their souls!
[13:28] A
Are your friends okay?
[13:30] Gin
Oh, yes.
[13:31] Gin
Their legs are numb
after all the kneeling.
[13:33] A
I see, but they seem to
have completely passed out.
[13:37] Gin
That's just a game they play.
[13:40] Gin
They'll be fine after some
rest, so don't worry.
[13:47] Gin
I didn't expect him to take their souls.
[13:50] Gin
He took their spirits instead
of firing a Spirit Bomb.
[13:52] Toshi
That wasn't clever.
[13:54] Toshi
Are those really their souls?
[13:56] Gin
They must be!
[13:57] Gin
One of them is wearing glasses!
[13:59] Toshi
Why is his soul wearing glasses?
[14:02] Gin
In Shinpachi's case, his
glasses are his soul!
[14:05] Toshi
Anyway, we need to get their souls back.
[14:08] Gin
How do we do that?!
[14:10] Toshi
He was mad because we tried to leave,
[14:13] Toshi
so we'll have to stay until
the end of the funeral.
[14:15] Toshi
I'm sure that if we pay our respects,
he'll pass on and everything will be okay.
[14:19] Toshi
The funeral's almost over.
[14:21] Toshi
We just have to behave
ourselves in the corner.
[14:24] Toshi
Make sure you don't piss off the owner.
[14:27] Toshi
Don't move an inch.
[14:29] N
We will now carry the coffin.
[14:32] N
May I ask the men to assist?
[14:36] B
I believe that the family members
are supposed to carry the head.
[14:39] C
I'm sorry, Mitsuko-san.
My back's been killing me.
[14:42] A
Oh, is there anyone young who can help?
[14:45] A
Oh, Gin-san, Hijikata-san,
[14:48] A
could you help carry the coffin?
[14:53] Toshi
S-Sorry, I just dislocated
my left shoulder.
[14:57] Gin
As you can see, I just broke my arm.
[14:59] Gin
Sorry, Gran.
[15:01] A
Oh, is that so?
[15:02] A
Sorry about putting you on the spot.
[15:05] Gin
But it must have been my imagination!
[15:07] Gin
We'll help!
[15:07] Gin
Please let us help!
[15:09] Gin
Isn't that right, Hijikata-kun?!
[15:10] Toshi
Yeah, I've always wanted
to help carry a coffin!
[15:13] Toshi
Isn't that right, Sakata-kun?!
[15:14] Toshi
Shit! Can I do this?!
[15:17] Toshi
I dislocated my left shoulder!
[15:18] Gin
My bone is sticking out!
[15:21] Gin
It hurts like a mother!
[15:22] Gin
And are they even okay?!
[15:24] Gin
He was kneading their souls together?!
[15:25] Gin
Kneading them hard!
[15:27] A
Can you please take his legs then,
Sakata-san and Hijikata-san.
[15:31] Gin
In that case, I'll do this with one arm!
[15:33] Gin
Suck it up!
[15:34] D
Lift it on my count.
[15:35] Toshi
Don't screw up! It's
over if we drop him!
[15:37] Toshi
Focus all of my strength
in my right arm!
[15:40] A
Okay, ready and...
[15:43] B
Hey! How much strength did you use?!
[15:45] B
Uncle!
[15:46] B
Uncle is trapped!
[15:48] D
And the owner is also a mess!
[15:50] D
His feet are sticking out the wrong way!
[15:52] B
Put him back!
[15:53] B
Put him back quick!
[15:55] D
The owner is sticking out!
[15:58] Toshi
Shit! Push him back
in! Stuff him back in!
[16:00] Gin
H-He won't fit because he's all stiff!
[16:03] D
Don't step on him!
[16:05] D
You're going to hell for this!
[16:07] B
Now his leg is sticking out!
[16:09] B
What is this?!
[16:10] B
Is the owner practicing synchronized
swimming in the River Styx?!
[16:13] D
Now something else is sticking out!
[16:16] D
What's going on?!
[16:17] Gin
People get stiff after
they die, I think.
[16:20] D
But that doesn't mean
they get a stiffie!
[16:23] B
And it's sticking out in the
completely wrong direction!
[16:25] B
What's happened inside?!
[16:28] Toshi
Hey, look!
[16:29] Toshi
He's making soba!
[16:30] Toshi
He's making soba out of their souls!
[16:33] Gin
No time to waste!
[16:35] Gin
Let's carry the coffin outside!
[16:38] Gin
We can't move!
[16:39] A
He's stuck!
[16:40] A
He's stuck in the worst possible way!
[16:43] Gin
I won't give in!
[16:45] B
Wait! It's gonna snap!
[16:46] B
It's gonna snap!
[16:47] Gran
Gin-san, Hijikata-san.
[16:49] Gran
You should be careful
when turning corners.
[16:52] D
Yes, yes.
[16:53] D
Be more careful.
[16:54] B
Don't force your way through.
[16:55] B
You should snap the
coffin around that way.
[16:58] Gran
Then I'll snap it for you!
[17:00] B
That's not what I meant!
[17:02] Gran
You can pass through now.
[17:02] D
You just snapped your husband's
thing to turn a corner!
[17:06] Gran
Oh, there's a nail loose.
[17:08] B
Ma'am! Do you have a
grudge or something?!
[17:10] B
Some kind of grudge against
your husband's joystick?!
[17:12] B
He wasn't any good at rapid firing?!
[17:15] D
Now the monk is sticking out!
[17:17] D
Why is the monk inside?!
[17:19] B
And he's still alive!
[17:20] B
He's still reading that weird sutra!
[17:23] D
Wait, did she snap the monk's thing?!
[17:25] D
Now the monk is literally celibate!
[17:28] B
It's stuck! It's stuck again!
[17:31] Gran
I'll snap it for you!
[17:32] B
Gran!
[17:33] Gran
You can pass through now.
[17:36] Gran
Oh, there's another loose nail.
[17:38] B
Gran!
[17:39] B
Are you mad about that funny sutra?!
[17:44] D
Owner!
[18:01] Gin
Floor it! Go faster!
[18:04] Toshi
Don't tell a cop to
break the speed limit!
[18:07] Gin
We caught up!
[18:09] Toshi
Pull over! There's an old man
sticking out of your truck!
[18:12] Toshi
It's no use. He can't hear me.
[18:13] Toshi
I'm gonna arrest him
later for breaking the law!
[18:16] Gin
Hey! The owner can't
hold on much longer!
[18:18] Gin
Get closer to the truck!
[18:19] Gin
I'll recover the body!
[18:21] Gin
Gran, hold my legs!
[18:22] Gran
Sure thing.
[18:23] Gin
Just a little closer!
[18:27] Gin
Why?!
[18:29] Toshi
What's going on?!
[18:30] Toshi
What happened in there?!
[18:32] Gin
Uh, wait!
[18:33] Gin
I don't want to touch that!
[18:35] Gin
Gran, please!
[18:36] Gin
I'll hold your legs, so can
you grab the owner's wang?
[18:38] Gran
Um...
[18:41] Gran
Which one?
[18:42] Gin
The hell is going on?!
[18:43] Gin
There are all these dicks
sticking out of the truck!
[18:46] Gin
How many dicks does the owner have?!
[18:48] Gin
How greedy was he?!
[18:49] Toshi
No!
[18:50] Toshi
Those are peniclams from Planet Seafood.
[18:53] Toshi
They look very similar to the
male organ of Earth humans,
[18:55] Toshi
but they're known to be delicious.
[18:58] Gin
Don't you mean dicklicious?!
[18:59] Gin
Why are they so similar?!
[19:01] Gin
In both name and appearance?!
[19:03] Toshi
They must have fallen out of the box.
[19:05] Toshi
This is bad...
[19:06] Toshi
We can't tell which one
is the old man's dick!
[19:09] Gin
No, we can...
[19:11] Gin
Gran can do it.
[19:12] Gin
You've seen the owner's dick
hundreds, thousands of times.
[19:16] Gin
You should be able to tell
which one is the real one.
[19:20] Gran
But I...
[19:21] Gin
Believe in yourself!
[19:23] Gin
Believe in the dick of
the owner you believe!
[19:25] Toshi
What does that even mean?
[19:27] Gin
You're the one who said we should
send him off with a smile, not tears!
[19:30] Gin
There's nothing to
smile about right now!
[19:32] Toshi
No, total strangers would
probably laugh until they cry.
[19:35] Gin
It's not too late!
[19:37] Gin
Let's make this a proper
funeral for the owner!
[19:40] Gin
That's the only thing we can do
as the ones who were left behind!
[19:46] Gran
I understand. I'll give it a try.
[19:51] Gran
Don't let your eyes fool you.
[19:54] Gran
Use all five senses, Mitsuko...
[19:55] Gran
Remember the smell, the ,
the , and how it was .
[19:59] Toshi
That's really disgusting, you know!
[20:02] Toshi
I don't want to hear it!
[20:04] Gran*
There it is!
[20:06] Gin
Why did you snap it off?!
[20:08] Gin
Gran, do you have a grudge
against the owner's dick?!
[20:12] Gin
Calm down!
[20:15] Toshi
Stupid!
[20:19] Toshi
There he is! It's the owner!
[20:22] Gin
I want to let go, but I can't!
[20:24] Gin
And where are you grabbing, Gran?!
[20:26] Toshi
Hang on! I'll get closer!
[20:29] Gin
Mine is about to snap off!
[20:30] Gin
So is the owner's!
[20:44] N
Odd Jobs...
[20:47] N
Hijikata...
[20:49] N
You guys are always so fun.
[20:53] N
Thanks for giving me a
funeral that was a riot.
[20:58] N
I can leave without any regrets now.
[21:03] N
Sorry about scaring you.
[21:06] N
Apologize to Mitsuko and
everyone else for me.
[21:10] N
And so, I poured my soul, literally,
[21:14] N
into one last meal for
my very good friends.
[21:21] Gin
I was wondering what the
owner was trying to pull.
[21:25] Gin
So he was cooking for us...
[21:27] Toshi
Man, that guy was always weird.
[21:29] Toshi
Nobody was going to cry at your funeral.
[21:35] Toshi
Tears are meant...
[21:36] Gin
...for when you're eating good food.
[21:47] Gin
It's damn good...
SIGN Don't look for me.
SIGN Next Episode
[23:30] Zura
E-Elizabeth ran away from home?!
[23:34] Zura
Impossible!
[23:34] Zura
That's impossible!
[23:36] Zura
What has Elizabeth been hiding from me?!
SIGN The People You Tend to Forget Tend to Show Up After You Forget Them
[23:40] Gin
Next time:
[23:41] Gin
The people you tend to forget tend
to show up after you forget them.
SIGN While chasing after Elizabeth, a surprising mystery is revealed?!
SIGN The sexy lady in the opening will appear along with that one guy who hasn't shown up in forever!!
E232 - The people you tend to forget tend to show up after you forget them
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Gin
Yeah, back to staring at a static background.
[00:04] Gin
We had a little something planned
for this segment, but, y'know?
[00:08] Gin
And these lines were recorded three
days before the episode aired.
[00:12] Gin
I'm sure that the clever members of the
Gintama audience can figure out what happened.
[00:16] Gin
So here's another episode of
Gintama, living on the edge.
SIGN Don't Look
[01:52] Zura
Don't look.
[01:56] Zura
I found this in Elizabeth's room.
[02:00] Zura
What is it that I'm not supposed to look for?
[02:04] Zura
Or does it count as looking
when I'm looking for what it is
[02:07] Zura
that I'm not supposed to be looking for?
[02:10] Zura
In that case, I'll have to look for someone to look
[02:14] ---
for what I'm not supposed to look for,
[02:16] Zura
before deciding if I should
look or if I should not look.
[02:18] Zura
So I'm looking for someone who's
willing to look for the answer.
[02:21] Zura
But if I'm not supposed to look,
[02:23] Zura
then I can't look for the someone to look for the
[02:25] ---
someone to look for the someone to look for the...
[02:29] Gin
You're making this too hard.
[02:30] Shin
It's like you're lost in a
maze of what not to look for.
[02:33] Zura
Don't look...
[02:35] Gin
I won't.
[02:36] Gin
It's pretty obvious what this is.
[02:38] Gin
He ran away from home.
[02:39] Zura
E-Elizabeth ran away from home?!
[02:42] Zura
I-Impossible! Unfathomable!
[02:44] Zura
He had no reason to be unhappy!
[02:47] Zura
The last time I saw Elizabeth...
[02:50] Zura
The last time I...
[02:51] Zura
Th-The last...
[02:54] Zura
When was the last time I saw Elizabeth?
[02:57] Shin
You can't remember?!
[02:59] Kagura
I thought you noticed as
soon as he disappeared?
[03:02] Zura
No...
SIGN Zura: We have a testimonial from Mrs.
E who was able to find her happiness.
[03:03] Zura
Two episodes ago, when I was
writing that text message,
[03:06] Zura
I didn't recognize who was in the picture.
[03:08] Shin
That's why he ran away from home!
[03:10] Shin
There's a tiny date on the sign.
[03:13] Shin
That means he was still around then.
[03:15] Gin
Huh?
[03:16] Gin
What day is today?
[03:17] Kagura
October 31st.
[03:20] Shin
I would understand if
he put yesterday's date,
[03:21] Shin
but why is it tomorrow's date?
[03:22] Kagura
The sign must be from the future!
[03:24] Shin
That can't be it.
[03:26] Gin
Yeah, yeah.
[03:27] Gin
Go the other direction.
[03:29] Gin
Maybe that's a year old?
[03:31] Shin
Huh?
[03:33] Gin
Now that I think about it, it's been
[03:34] ---
a while since I've actually seen him in person.
[03:37] Zura
Wh-What do you mean?!
[03:39] Zura
E-Elizabeth ran away from home a year ago?!
[03:42] Zura
And I went about my life without a clue?!
[03:45] Gin
You're the one who can't remember.
[03:47] Zura
Don't be ridiculous!
[03:48] Zura
You heartless bastards may have forgotten,
[03:51] Zura
but how could I have
forgotten about Elizabeth?!
[03:53] Zura
That's absurd!
[03:55] Zura
Damn, I can't remember!
[03:57] Zura
For some reason, my memories
of Elizabeth are so erratic!
[04:00] Shin
Have they ever not been?
[04:02] Zura
What happened between us, Elizabeth?!
SIGN Tenny's
SIGN The People You Tend to Forget Tend to Show Up After You Forget Them
[04:14] Zura
We must locate Elizabeth at once.
[04:18] Zura
But my memory is hazy.
[04:19] Zura
I won't be able to remember
anything in the past.
[04:23] Zura
That is why...
[04:26] Zura
It's not Zura, it's Katsura.
[04:28] Shin
Uh, nobody said anything.
[04:30] Kagura
What are these, Zura?
[04:32] Zura
It's not Zura, it's a sign.
SIGN You little girls should go home and watch Ainori!!
[04:34] Zura
Does this look familiar?
[04:36] Shin
That was Elizabeth's line from
the popularity contest arc.
[04:40] Zura
Yes, all of the signs he's
used are stored here.
[04:44] Zura
We can use these to determine why he ran
[04:46] ---
away from home, and his current location as well.
[04:49] Gin
Hey, I don't have time to
dig through all of these.
[04:52] Zura
This is the only lead we have.
[04:54] Zura
Don't worry.
[04:55] Zura
Elizabeth was a samurai at heart.
[04:57] Zura
He only spoke when necessary.
[04:58] Zura
For example, look at how this
line is short and simple.
SIGN No, could be anyone.
[05:01] Shin
Uh, who was he talking to
and what was trying to say?
[05:04] Zura
It's very simple.
[05:06] Zura
This is...
[05:06] TV
Is it an echo?
SIGN No, could be anyone.
SIGN No, could be anyone.
[05:11] Shin
How the hell were we supposed to know that?!
[05:13] Zura
Every time we saw this commercial,
[05:16] ---
he would raise this sign and I would go "OC"!
[05:20] Zura
But now I hear nothing...
[05:22] Shin
How is he a samurai at heart?!
[05:23] Zura
Elizabeth...
[05:23] Shin
We're supposed to go through
all of these stupid signs?!
[05:26] Gin
Is there anything that looks suspicious?
[05:29] Gin
Oh, this is...
SIGN Thank you.
[05:31] Gin
He suddenly said thank you.
[05:33] Shin
And look at the next one.
SIGN Goodbye.
[05:35] Shin
This was when he decided to leave.
[05:37] Shin
What lead to these signs?
[05:38] N
...will bring you lots of scary friends...
[05:42] Zura
Pop, pop, pop!
[05:44] Shin
AC again?!
[05:47] Zura
Every time we saw this commercial,
[05:49] ---
we would take turns on the bunny and Lionel Richie parts.
[05:52] Shin
If you don't cut this out, I'm gonna
Goodbye Lionel Richie your ass!
[05:53] Zura
Elizabeth...
[05:55] Gin
Hey, these are all related to commercials!
SIGN No, it's kefir.
SIGN No, it's Yayataka.
[05:58] Shin
How much TV do you watch?!
SIGN No, it's Pitts.
SIGN No, it's Boss.
[05:59] Shin
Aren't the Joi supposed to
be taking back the country?!
SIGN No, it's Ondroid.
[06:01] Gin
These are the only decent ones.
[06:03] Gin
Excuse me, your collar is turned up.
[06:05] Gin
Was your hair done at the same
place where Tokiko Gato goes?
[06:08] Gin
How do you write out ?
[06:10] Shin
They're all about !
[06:13] Shin
And when did he use these signs?!
[06:16] Shin**
Doesn't this mean he was talking to ?!
[06:19] Zura
Was your hair done at the same place?
[06:22] Zura*
I'm close to remembering something.
[06:27] Zura
I believe this line was when...
[06:29] Zura
Yes, it was a winter day that
left you cold in body and soul.
[06:33] Shin
No, stop!
[06:34] Shin
Don't start a flashback
from those stupid lines!
[06:37] Zura
We were on the run, without
a roof above our heads.
[06:41] Shin
Hey! I said to stop!
[06:43] N
This race pits the young
[06:45] ---
***** against the older Ishihara in a one-on-one duel!
[06:48] Shin
You're watching TV again?!
[06:49] Shin
Just end this!
[06:51] Shin
Say something funny about
's hair and end this!
[06:54] Zura
I see, so these two are...
[06:55] Shin*
Don't bother setting up the joke!
[06:57] Shin
Look at 's hair!
[06:58] Shin
She must go to the same
place Tokiko Gato goes!
[07:01] Zura*
Is Ishihara the one who can provide
hope in these times of trouble?
[07:04] Zura
Or is it ?
[07:06] Zura
Which one is the answer?
SIGN No, it's Katsura.
[07:08] Shin*
Another OC commercial?!
[07:10] Shin
Wait! You're not going to say anything?!
[07:12] Shin
You're not going to comment on 's hair?!
[07:15] Zura
Idle chatter did little to stave
off the biting cold and hunger.
[07:20] Shin*
Stop wasting time on this
pointless flashback!
[07:23] Zura
I couldn't die here before starting
a revolution in this country.
[07:27] Zura
As we dragged ourselves
along, that was when...
SIGN *****
[07:32] Renho
Make ***** your first choice.
[07:34] Renho
Make ***** your second choice.
[07:35] Renho
***** is more than number one.
[07:35] Shin
Hey! It's the real !
[07:37] Renho
**** is the only one.
[07:37] Shin
Look at that hair!
[07:38] Shin
Her collars are turned way up!
[07:39] Shin
You can use all of your signs now!
[07:41] Shin
I see, you ignored the previous opportunity
so you could use them all here!
[07:45] Zura
Are you okay?
[07:47] Zura
I can carry that for you.
[07:48] Gin
Forget about the old lady!
[07:49] Gin
Look at that hair behind you! Say something!
[07:52] Fumi
Thank you.
[07:54] Fumi
There are still kind souls left in Edo.
[07:57] Gin
Yeah, very nice!
[07:58] Gin
But it would be even better if
he ended this stupid flashback!
[08:02] Zura
That was when we met Grandma Fumiko.
[08:05] Gin
Uh, nobody cares about the old lady!
[08:08] Zura
Grandma Fumiko would tell picture stories to
[08:10] ---
the children in the park at the top of the stairs.
[08:13] Gin
You've completely lost your chance!
[08:14] Gin
You're never going to get a better shot!
[08:16] Zura
In this age, kids don't
care about picture stories.
[08:20] Zura
Yet Grandma Fumiko would climb the stairs
[08:24] ---
every day with her heavy load.
[08:27] Zura
Maybe that was why Elizabeth began
visiting the park every day.
[08:32] Gin
Damn! This is turning into one
of those heartwarming stories!
[08:35] Gin
's never coming back!
[08:38] Zura
When it was raining...
[08:40] Zura*
When it was windy...
[08:43] Zura
When it was ...
[08:44] Shin
There's !
[08:46] Zura
Elizabeth went to the park with Grandma Fumiko
[08:49] ---
every day to watch the kids play.
[08:52] Shin**
It's a miracle!
[08:53] Shin
***** is back with her funky hair!
[08:56] Shin
Er, wait.
[08:57] Shin
's eating something!
[08:58] Shin
Gin-san! It's fried chicken!
[08:58] Zura*
One day, Elizabeth finally asked Grandma
Fumiko the question that had been bugging him.
[08:59] Shin
's eating fried chicken!
[09:01] Gin
Hey, look behind you!
[09:03] Gin*
Say something!
[09:03] Gin
Funky chick eating fried chicken!
SIGN Why do you come here every day?
[09:07] Fumi
You think it's strange?
[09:08] Fumi
A storyteller spends all day watching
the children instead of telling stories?
[09:14] Gin
It's no use!
[09:15] Gin
The fried chicken doesn't help!
They aren't looking!
[09:17] Shin
Hey!
[09:18] Shin
***** is throwing fried chicken at them!
[09:20] Shin
But they still haven't noticed her!
[09:21] Fumi
I tell stories to make the children smile.
[09:25] Fumi
But look, they're having
plenty of fun already.
[09:29] Fumi
So my job is to watch over them.
[09:35] Shin
's messing up her hair in front of them!
SIGN I want to see your picture story.
[09:40] Fumi
You're such a strange one.
[09:41] Gin*
If he doesn't use those signs now,
he's never gonna use them!
[09:45] Fumi
Oh, well. I suppose I can tell
you one of my best stories.
[09:50] Gin
Please! End this flashback!
SIGN Was your hair done at the same place where Tokiko Gato goes?
[09:55] Fumi
Let's begin then.
[09:56] Fumi
The story of "Was your hair done at the
same place where Tokiko Gato goes?"
[10:01] Both
There?!
[10:03] Shin
You can use it there?!
[10:04] Gin
Wait!
[10:05] Gin
After all that buildup, it
wasn't even Elizabeth's sign?!
[10:08] Gin
It has nothing to do with , you a-hole!
[10:10] Shin
And what kind of picture story is this?!
[10:13] Shin*
No wonder the kids stayed away!
[10:15] Zura
I can't remember the details...
[10:17] Zura
I wasn't paying attention so I can't
remember anything after the title.
[10:23] Gin
Was it that scary?!
[10:25] Kagura
But why does Elizabeth have a
sign from the granny's story?
[10:30] Zura
I have a feeling that this
line will help me remember.
SIGN Excuse me, your collar is turned up.
[10:34] Gin
No, no more!
[10:35] Gin
Just stop!
[10:37] Zura
I believe this line was when...
[10:38] Shin
He started another flashback!
[10:40] Shin
Please get to the point and make this short!
[10:44] Fumi
Eli, you were too much.
SIGN Excuse me, your collar (my penis) is turned up.
[10:47] Fumi
My back can't take it.
[10:50] Gin
That was too short!
[10:51] Gin
How did that even happen?!
[10:53] Gin
What went down between them?!
[10:55] Zura
You wasted all that time
on the first flashback!
[10:57] Zura
It isn't proper for us to probe
into the affairs of other couples.
[11:01] Zura
All I can say is that Elizabeth isn't picky.
[11:03] Gin
This isn't a matter of being picky or not!
[11:05] Gin
And where were you watching this from?!
SIGN How do you write out ?
[11:07] Shin
Wait!
[11:08] Shin*
There's only one sign left!
[11:11] Kagura
Hey, Zura! What's wrong?!
[11:13] Zura
My head...
[11:14] Zura
I-I have a feeling
[11:17] ---
that I'm not supposed
to remember what comes next...
[11:20] Gin
Wait!
[11:21] Gin
Don't tell me that you're talking about
Elizabeth and the old lady getting down and dirty!
[11:25] Gin
The flashback started! It started!
[11:31] Fumi
Snow... It's so cold...
SIGN Hold on.
[11:37] Fumi
It's okay. Don't overdo it.
[11:39] Fumi
You'll end up catching a cold.
[11:42] Fumi
Besides...
[11:44] Fumi
I have my own.
[11:48] Fumi
I'm sure that you've seen
through my disguise.
[11:50] Fumi
I may be wearing the skin
of an earthling right now,
[11:59] Fumi
but you could never forget
your former lover, could you?
[12:06] Fumi
But you could never forget
your former lover, could you?
SIGN B Part
[12:10] Fumi
Or did you approach me
because you recognized me?
[12:13] Fumi
So you could dispose of the traitor?
[12:16] Fumi
I was surprised to see that you were still
using those signs to lie to yourself.
[12:22] Fumi
After watching the people
on this planet smile,
[12:25] Fumi
I discovered my true calling.
[12:27] Fumi
I want to tell stories and protect
the smiles of the people here.
[12:33] Fumi
That is how I truly feel.
[12:35] Fumi
Don't you feel the same way?
[12:36] Fumi
So why are you still wearing that costume?
[12:39] Fumi
Why are you still using signs to talk?
[12:42] Fumi
Don't you realize what we're
doing to this planet?!
[12:48] ---
Y-You're such a coward...
[12:51] Fumi
Please... Stop this...
[12:57] Fumi
Y-You don't need to follow
someone else's script...
[13:04] Fumi
Write your own story...
SIGN Are you finished?
SIGN We've been ordered to return.
SIGN Our survey of Earth is complete.
SIGN Let's go, Captain.
[13:22] Zura
E-Elizabeth!
[13:24] Zura
Wh-Why you?!
[13:25] Zura
What is the meaning of this?!
[13:27] Zura
One Elizabeth, two Elizabeths,
three Elizabeths...
[13:38] Fumi
I see that he's regained his memories.
[13:42] Fumi
I just remembered everything myself.
[13:45] Fumi
Yes, he wasn't...
[13:47] Fumi
We aren't cute pets.
[13:49] Fumi
We came to invade this planet.
[13:53] Fumi
We were sent as spies to
scout the enemy's land.
[13:57] Fumi
We are members of the legendary mercenary tribe
[14:00] ---
who have worked for Dakini, Shinra, and Yato...
[14:02] Fumi
Feared as the white devils...
[14:05] Fumi
We are known as the...
[14:06] Zura
Elizabeth, who are you...?
[14:11] Fumi
Renho.
[14:13] Shin
I can't keep up with everything that's wrong!
[14:16] Shin
What are you people talking about?!
[14:17] Shin
Just look at what you're wearing!
[14:19] Shin
Why is the show suddenly serious?!
[14:20] Shin
Just look at what you're wearing!
[14:22] Shin
How are we supposed to
follow all these twists?!
[14:25] Zura
I remember everything now.
[14:28] Zura
The legendary mercenary tribe...
[14:30] Zura
The white devils, Renho!
[14:33] Zura
That is Elizabeth's true identity.
[14:35] Fumi
Yes, he infiltrated Earth
by pretending to be your pet
[14:40] Fumi
while secretly sending information about
[14:41] ---
this planet back to the main fleet.
[14:43] Shin
I've never seen a pet act like that!
[14:46] Shin
And he wasn't being secretive!
[14:47] Shin
He drew attention everywhere he went!
[14:48] Fumi
And your adorable pet was their leader.
SIGN Don't look.
[14:53] Fumi
And now they've returned to the main fleet
[14:54] ---
having completed their mission,
SIGN Forget
[14:56] Fumi
after erasing any potentially
inconvenient memories.
[14:59] Fumi
You forgot about him because
he erased your memories.
[15:05] Zura
Y-You're lying.
[15:09] Zura
The time Elizabeth and I
spent together was all a lie?
[15:14] Zura
It was all an illusion?
[15:16] Zura
I-I refuse to accept that...
[15:20] Zura
I absolutely refuse to accept it!
[15:22] Gin
Zura!
[15:25] Zura
Oh, don't come too close.
I don't want you to hear me.
[15:29] Shin
You picked the worst time to take a dump.
[15:32] Fumi
I didn't want him to betray you.
[15:35] Fumi
That's why I fought alone to
interfere with their work.
[15:40] Fumi
But I wasn't able to stop him.
[15:43] Fumi
I believe that over the past year,
[15:45] ---
they've almost finished preparing for their invasion of Earth.
[15:49] Fumi
At this rate, Earth will fall to the Renho.
[15:53] FUmi
But it isn't too late.
[15:55] Fumi
We can still stop him!
[15:58] Fumi
Please help me protect Earth from the Renho!
SIGN Dark Vader
SIGN has arrived.
SIGN Comrades,
SIGN the time has come.
SIGN After losing our mother planet in the great war, we have stayed strong while living on this planet.
SIGN However, we will no longer hide in the shadows.
SIGN Earth...
SIGN Once we take their planet, we will regain our former glory.
SIGN Our advance forces have already set the stage.
SIGN Take planet Earth away from them!!!
SIGN Regain the glory of the Renho!!
SIGN Hooray!
SIGN Searching
SIGN Lost
[17:33] A
We've lost the target.
[17:35] A
Captain, this is...
[17:37] Saka
Oh, they vanished into the darkness.
[17:42] Saka
They've earned that legendary
mercenary moniker.
[17:45] Mutsu
Shouldn't you be a little concerned?
[17:47] Saka
Don't worry about it.
[17:49] Saka
Those guys are still on that planet.
SIGN Galaxy Warriors
[17:56] Zura
Battle!
[17:58] Zura
Onward to space!
[18:00] Kagura
Zura, that White Base
ain't taking you to space.
[18:03] Gin
Oh, that's how the catapult works.
[18:05] Gin
He might be able to make it to space.
[18:07] Gin
Good luck.
[18:10] Zura
W-Wait, you fools...
[18:12] Zura
A true samurai would never
ignore a danger to Earth.
[18:16] Zura
If an idiot who didn't realize that his
[18:18] ---
pet was an alien invader can be a samurai,
[18:20] Zura
I give up on being a samurai.
[18:21] Zura
Bastards!
[18:22] Zura
You trust that Fujiko knock-off
more than Elizabeth?!
[18:25] Zura
I will not accept that!
[18:27] Zura
Elizabeth would never invade Earth!
[18:29] Zura
That slutty woman could never
be Elizabeth's former lover!
[18:32] Fumi
Oh? What makes you think that I'm slutty?
[18:36] Zura
Why you...
[18:37] Fumi
Please tell me.
[18:39] Fumi
Well?
[18:39] Fumi
In what way am I slutty?
[18:42] Zura
O-Obviously, your...
[18:44] Fumi
Why are you cooperating
with this slutty woman?
[18:47] Zura
I'm not cooperating with you!
[18:50] Zura
And I am not fighting as a Joi
patriot defending his planet!
[18:54] Zura
I'm going to save my friend!
[18:56] Zura
I may have a hundred doubts, a thousand doubts,
[18:59] Zura
but I choose to believe
in the drink we shared.
[19:02] Zura
That's how a friendship between men works.
[19:05] Zura
He must have his reasons.
[19:08] Zura
He must have been forced
into his current situation.
[19:13] Zura
In that case, I will cross the galaxy
and rivers of blood to save him!
[19:18] Shin
Uh, the rivers of blood are
flowing down your face.
[19:24] Fumi
He's not as innocent as you think.
[19:28] Fumi
But that's fine.
[19:29] Fumi
In any case, we share the same goal.
[19:33] Fumi
If you don't want Earth to be
destroyed, you should work with me.
[19:36] Gin
Screw that.
[19:37] Gin
Why are we supposed to help you
when you're the ones invading us?
[19:40] Gin
Do you even know how to
write invasion in Japanese?
[19:43] Kagura
The Yato can't do it.
[19:45] Fumi
Why don't we have a round, boy?
[19:49] Fumi
And I don't mean on a bed.
[19:51] Gin
Don't call me a boy!
[19:53] Gin
And stop acting like you're Fujiko Mine.
[19:56] Gin
You're like the tub and rubber duckie in one!
[19:59] Fumi
Oh, didn't you notice?
[20:01] Fumi
There's an angel above you.
[20:03] Gin
Sh-She's fast!
[20:04] Gin
She's already working her slutty magic on me!
[20:06] Shin
You were just as fast when
you moved in for the upskirt!
[20:09] Fumi
I prefer being on top.
[20:12] Fumi
Want me to take you to heaven?
[20:14] Gin
That's too bad.
[20:16] Gin
I prefer to take the lead.
[20:18] Shin
What do you think you're
doing at the playground?!
[20:21] Fumi
H-He's fast...
[20:23] Fumi
He was able to instantly
awaken my masochistic side.
[20:25] Shin
You were already a sick freak!
[20:28] Fumi
I never thought I would meet
such a dirty man on Earth.
[20:31] Fumi
I'm impressed!
[20:32] Gin
The pleasure's all mine.
[20:33] Gin
Welcome to our planet!
SIGN Planet Pervs
[20:34] Shin
It's Planet Earth!
[20:35] Shin
And why are you so impressed
with each other?!
[20:37] Shin
What kind of handshake is this?!
[20:38] Zura
Behold how quickly two individuals of
different races were able to make peace.
[20:42] Zura
I'm sure that we can find a peaceful
solution if we talk to Elizabeth's brethren.
[20:45] Shin
They didn't talk about anything.
[20:47] Shin
All they did was reveal their fetishes!
[20:49] Zura
In any case, we need to come up with a plan.
[20:52] Fumi
Then you can use me as the map!
[20:55] Zura
Well, if this is space...
[20:57] Gin
What are you talking about?
[20:58] Gin
A woman's body has always been like space.
[21:00] Kagura
Space? All I see is a forest.
[21:01] Shin
Elizabeth-san!
[21:03] Shin
Go ahead and destroy Earth!
[21:14] Shin
No way!
[21:15] Shin
They actually attacked us!
[21:17] Shin
They're actually invading Earth!
[21:19] A
Captain, we were able to remove the obstacle.
[21:23] Saka
Really now?
[21:24] Saka
Let's land then!
[21:32] Mutsu
What are you doing?
[21:34] Mutsu
You want to destroy Edo
before they even get here?
[21:38] Shin
Y-You're...
[21:43] Saka
It's been forever, huh?
[21:44] Saka
How many episodes has it been?
[21:46] Saka
I love the air on Earth.
[21:49] Shin
Sa-Sa-
[21:51] Shin
Sakamoto-san?!
[21:53] Shin
Mutsu-san?!
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Next Episode Space Ururun Homestay
[23:30] Zura
Next time:
[23:31] Zura
Space Ururun Homestay
SIGN Following Elizabeth into space
Gintoki and co invade the enemy's home planet!!
SIGN The true nature and demonic weaponry of the
legendary mercenary tribe Renho are finally revealed!!
E233 - Space Ururun Homestay
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN The legendary mercenary tribe, Renho. Elizabeth was in fact one of those white demons.
SIGN They lost their planet long ago, and they've been plotting to invade Earth!!
[01:43] Shin
Y-You're...
[01:49] Saka
It's been forever, huh?
[01:50] Saka
How many episodes has it been?
[01:52] Saka
I love the air on Earth.
SIGN Space Ururun Homestay
[02:01] Shin
Why?!
[02:03] Shin
Why is the Kaientai here?!
[02:05] Mutsu
I'm glad we were able
to make it back in time.
[02:08] Shin
Make it back in time?
[02:10] Shin
So you're also aware that
the Earth is being invaded?
[02:14] Saka
I missed my timing with the Taiga drama,
[02:17] Saka
but at least I'm not late for Jin...
[02:19] Gin
You're too late!
[02:21] Gin
That one ended nearly half a year ago.
[02:25] Kagura
We'll throw you down the stairs
and end you, so hold on.
[02:29] Shin
Wait!
[02:30] Shin
He just finished falling to Earth!
[02:32] Shin
One more tumble and he'll die!
[02:33] Zura
Wait, Gintoki!
[02:35] Zura
Is that Sakamoto?
[02:37] Saka
That voice...
[02:39] Saka
Are you Zura?!
[02:41] Saka
It's been ages.
[02:44] Saka
How've you been doing?
[02:45] Zura
And you...
[02:46] Both
You've changed so much!
[02:49] Shin
That's wrong!
[02:50] Shin
Is this how cavemen used
to greet each other?!
[02:51] Shin
Are you really friends?!
[02:53] Mutsu
There's no point in wasting
time on these idiots.
[02:56] Mutsu
Get on our ship.
[02:57] Mutsu
You have business in space, right?
[03:00] Zura
How did you know?
[03:02] Mutsu
Not good. The clouds are picking up speed!
[03:05] Mutsu
Hurry!
[03:06] Mutsu
Or else it'll be too late!
[03:07] Saka
What are you saying?
[03:09] Saka
Jin is still being released on DVD...
[03:12] Mutsu
Stop talking about Jin!
[03:18] Woman
Oh, no. It's raining.
[03:20] Woman
Come inside, Ken-san.
[03:21] Ken
Th-Thank you, madam.
[03:28] Woman
Ken-san, your right shoulder's getting wet.
[03:31] Woman
Come closer.
[03:33] Ken
No, this is fine.
[03:36] Ken
If I let you get wet, the boss will
[03:38] ---
come down from heaven to give me a licking.
[03:41] Woman
You're still worrying about him?
[03:44] Woman
After his death, you were there
to help me run the store.
[03:50] Woman
I'm sure you've noticed how I feel.
[03:54] Woman
I know.
[03:56] Woman
When he died, he entrusted me
to you, along with the store.
[04:02] Woman
So why won't you accept my feelings?
[04:06] Woman
You're always so kind to me,
but you never say anything.
[04:09] Woman
Why do you have to be so stiff?
[04:12] Woman
How do you really feel about me?
[04:15] Woman
Tell me.
[04:17] Woman
Why won't you say anything?
[04:18] Woman
Say something, please!
SIGN Sorry, I can't talk anymore for some reason.
SIGN Eeeek!
[04:30] Hana
Do you see the chaos in the streets?
[04:33] Hana
The people caught in the sudden storm,
[04:36] Hana
have had their faces replaced by blank masks,
SIGN What is this? What's going on?
[04:38] Hana
and they can only communicate
by holding up signs.
SIGN Uh, hell if I know!!
[04:41] Hana
What is the meaning of this?!
[04:43] Hana
What is happening to Edo?!
[04:46] C
Ana Hanano, is this what happens
when someone touches the rain?
[04:49] C
Ana Hanano?
SIGN Back to the studio for now.
[04:54] Zura
H-Hey! What's going on?!
[04:57] Kagura
So many Elis!
[05:00] Zura
One, two, three...
[05:03] Mutsu
They've released the seeds.
[05:04] Mutsu
Once their seeds...
[05:07] Mutsu
Those clouds have covered the entire planet,
[05:08] Mutsu
Earth will fall into the hands of the Renho.
[05:11] Shin
So Elizabeth and his brethren
are responsible for that rain?
[05:14] Fumi
But first, how do you know about our plan?
[05:20] Saka
The Kaientai have been all around space.
[05:23] Saka
Of course we would know this stuff.
[05:26] Saka
Besides, I'm the one who brought
those monsters to Earth.
[05:33] N
Kaientai Space Log O month X day.
[05:37] N
We've welcomed a certain
government official aboard the
[05:40] ---
Kairinmaru to do business.
[06:01] Saka
O-Okay, I got it.
[06:04] Saka
That's a deal.
[06:05] Mutsu
Huh?
[06:06] Saka
After an hour of silent dealing,
we were able to strike a deal.
[06:13] Mutsu
Hey, Sakamoto. Are you sure about this?
[06:16] Mutsu
Who is he?
[06:19] Saka
Don't worry.
[06:21] Saka
We both spilled our guts.
[06:23] Mutsu
No, you were the only one
who was spilling his guts.
[06:27] Saka
Basically, he wants us to
carry some cargo to Earth.
[06:31] Mutsu
Is this cargo supposed to include
a bunch of funky-looking creatures?
[06:34] Mutsu
And when did he tell you this?
[06:37] Mutsu
He spent the whole time wheezing.
[06:39] Saka
While you were in the little girls' room,
[06:41] Saka
he pulled out this sign.
[06:43] Mutsu
This is a picture of
Earth that's crossed out.
[06:46] Saka
He must have learned that Earth is in danger.
[06:51] Saka
And he wants to protect
Earth from that danger.
[06:54] Mutsu
Really?
[06:55] Mutsu
It looks like he's got
something else in mind to me.
[06:59] Saka
So first, he must send his pets
to Earth to serve as watchdogs.
[07:04] Mutsu
Those watchdogs appear
to be attacking humans.
[07:08] Saka
The pets and their owners
are having fun on a walk.
[07:11] Saka
I was so touched!
[07:14] Saka
I can't stop crying!
[07:16] Mutsu
That's not called crying.
[07:18] Saka
I never thought that an Amanto
would care so much about Earth.
[07:22] Saka
The Kaientai's objective was
[07:25] Saka
to improve relations between Earthlings
and the Amanto through business.
[07:30] Saka
Plus, I have a bunch of points saved
up at this hostess club on Earth...
[07:33] Saka
Is there anyone else out
there to take on this job?!
[07:37] Saka
I now return to the mother planet!
[07:40] Saka
To Smi-
[07:42] Saka
To Earth!
[07:44] Saka
The future of Earth is bright!
[07:46] Saka
Wait for me, Oryo-chan!
[07:50] Gin
How is it bright?!
[07:51] Gin
It's completely dark because of you!
[07:55] Shin
How could you do this?!
[07:56] Shin
You brought the invaders'
spies right to our planet!
[07:59] Shin
You're going to destroy Earth because
you wanted to visit a hostess club!
[08:02] Shin
They were dropping hints everywhere!
[08:04] Shin
You should have been able to
figure out their objective!
[08:06] Shin
And how long are you going
to stomp on him, Mutsu-san!
[08:07] Shin
Where are you stomping him?!
[08:08] Saka
Most businessmen tend
to suspect other people.
[08:12] Saka
But I do business by trusting people.
[08:15] Shin
You were throwing up the entire time.
[08:17] Mutsu
Since his job is to carry diseases
from space to Earth via his crotch.
[08:24] Saka
Mutsu, I'm gonna kill you.
[08:26] Mutsu
I did some research since
I knew something was fishy,
[08:28] ---
and look what we discovered.
[08:29] Fumi
Now that you mention it,
this ship looks familiar.
[08:32] Fumi
So this is that same ship.
[08:34] Mutsu
As we speak, the people of Earth
[08:35] ---
are being rendered mute by the
transformation into Elizabeth
[08:38] Mutsu
by the seeds that were spread by
the agents we carried to Earth.
[08:42] Mutsu
However, this is only the
first phase of their plan.
[08:46] Mutsu
Once communications on
Earth have been disrupted,
[08:48] Mutsu
they plan on launching a large invasion.
[08:51] Mutsu
We must prevent this from happening.
[08:53] Mutsu
No, place your hand over your heart,
[08:57] ---
and you'll realize that
this is our responsibility.
[08:59] Gin
Don't blame us!
[09:01] Gin
This is all your fault!
[09:02] Mutsu
There isn't any time to whine.
[09:05] Mutsu
We're the only ones who can stop this.
[09:08] Fumi
I see.
[09:10] ---
So this ship is a Noah's ark,
the last hope of the samurai.
[09:18] Saka
Kintoki...
[09:19] Gin
My name isn't Kintoki.
[09:21] Saka
Zura...
[09:22] Saka
It wasn't coincidence that
brought you on this ship.
[09:26] Saka
We're the only idiots who are stupid enough
[09:30] Saka
to pick a fight with aliens.
SIGN Just as planned.
SIGN In less than a day, Earth will be covered by those clouds.
SIGN My lord!
SIGN A fleet is signaling us...
SIGN What?
SIGN A signal that can't be picked up by the naked eye or radar?
SIGN This signal belongs to the ship we contacted before.
SIGN What are they trying to say?
[10:07] Shin
Business?
[10:08] Saka
That's right.
[10:10] Saka
The Renho are known as the
legendary mercenary tribe
[10:12] Saka
partially because of how
difficult they are to find.
[10:15] Saka
It would be far too difficult to find
their mothership in this vast universe.
[10:20] Saka
So I'll make them a deal they
can't refuse and draw them in.
[10:24] Shin
A deal they can't refuse?
[10:26] Shin
What are you offering?
[10:28] Saka
Those guys wouldn't be
interested in any cheap deals.
[10:32] Saka
However, they can't ignore
the offer I've made.
[10:36] Saka
I'm selling Earth!
[10:38] Shin
Selling Earth?!
[10:39] Saka
They're on their way to invade Earth.
[10:42] Saka
They need all the men and
weapons they can get.
[10:45] Saka
I'm offering the weaponry and
manpower of the Kaientai.
[10:50] Saka
They can certainly use the help.
[10:52] Saka
Ironically, we're considered a neutral
party because we helped them before.
[10:58] Saka
This will help greatly.
[11:00] Saka
My razor sharp right-hand-woman can
drag negotiations out for a day.
[11:06] Saka
Earth can only hold out for a day at best.
[11:09] Saka
This will be the biggest deal
the Kaientai has ever struck.
[11:12] Saka
So before Earth is taken out,
[11:14] Saka
we'll take away their future!
[11:22] Zura
This is Elizabeth's mothership
and mother planet.
[11:26] Zura
It's like a fortress.
[11:28] Zura
There are so many Elizabeths...
[11:31] Zura
One Elizabeth, two Elizabeths,
three Elizabeths...
[11:35] Gin
Stop that already!
[11:38] Gin
If you fall asleep here, our
operation will fall apart!
[11:41] Gin
Listen up.
[11:42] Gin
Do whatever you can to blend in, Zurazabeth.
[11:46] Zura
It's not Zurazabeth, it's Katsurabeth.
SIGN Ginzabeth, you should use signs to talk.
SIGN One slip of the tongue and the gig will be up. So keep your mouth...
SIGN shut...
SIGN tight...
[11:56] Gin
I wouldn't call that a slip of the tongue!
SIGN Blargh.
SIGN Damn, I forgot to take some medicine.
[12:01] Gin
How can you get motion
sickness on such a big ship?!
SIGN C-Can't bear the smell of a strange new place. And I can't bear riding a ship.
[12:04] Gin
Stop riding these ships then!
[12:06] Zura
Sakamoto! You still get motion sickness?
[12:09] Zura
I told you to open a window and
look far away when you get sick.
[12:13] Zura
And take deep breaths.
[12:14] Gin
That's not a window you just opened!
[12:15] Gin
You just destroyed the
purpose of that costume!
[12:17] Gin
Don't look far away!
[12:19] Gin
Don't look far away right now!
[12:20] Shin
Gin-san! Gin-san!
[12:22] Shin
Can we hurry up?
[12:24] Shin
All of us are ready to go.
[12:26] Gin
Sorry, let's go.
[12:29] Shin
Hell no!
[12:31] Shin
Say something, stupid!
[12:32] Shin
Why am I the only one who was
painted white with tighty-whities?!
[12:35] Shin
Why am I the only one who
doesn't get a disguise?!
[12:38] Gin
Huh? Are you Shinpachi?
[12:40] Gin
I didn't notice.
[12:42] Gin
That's a great disguise, huh?
[12:43] Saka
Yeah, don't worry.
[12:45] Saka
I didn't even notice you were here
before you opened your mouth.
[12:48] Zura
Perfect. You'll be fine, Toshio-kun.
[12:51] Shin
Don't call me Toshio-kun!
[12:52] Shin
And you don't want me to be Toshio-kun!
[12:54] Shin
Not unless you want to
die, you three stooges!
[12:57] Fumi
That won't do.
[12:58] Fumi
My costume is a little big,
so I'll let you inside.
[13:02] Gin
Where are you letting him in?!
[13:04] Gin
The white devil is turning into
Char's red Zaku, you dirty woman!
[13:09] Gin
Kagura, let him in yours.
[13:11] Gin
Your costume is too big, right?
[13:13] Kagura
What? I don't wanna.
[13:14] Kagura
I already finished customizing my Alzabeth.
[13:18] Shin
Five sukonbu.
[13:20] Kagura
Fine, I'll let you in for ten sukonbu.
[13:25] Shin
Is this any different from before?!
[13:27] Shin
Shouldn't you cover my face and
maybe leave my back exposed?!
[13:30] Shin
Shinpachi is sticking out!
[13:31] Shin
In plain sight!
[13:33] Kagura
Shut up.
[13:34] Kagura
It would be gross if you were on
the bottom and your nose started
[13:36] ---
bleeding all over me.
[13:37] Shin
I'm not gonna get a nosebleed
over you, you idiot!
[13:40] Kagura
Eh?! What did you say?!
SIGN Hey there.
SIGN Hey there.
SIGN Are you mechanics?
SIGN What are you doing here?
[13:52] Shin
Damn! I'm the only one sticking out!
SIGN N-Nothing important...
SIGN We were taking a break.
[13:58] Shin
You guys are just trying
to save your own asses!
[14:01] Shin
Huh?
[14:02] Shin
I think there's something
sticking out of them.
[14:04] Shin
How much of a rush were they in?!
[14:06] Shin
What are you doing in those costumes?!
[14:08] Shin
You're playing Uno, aren't you?!
[14:10] Shin
And what the hell is sticking
out of your mouth?!
[14:13] Shin
How are we supposed to explain this?!
[14:15] Shin
What am I supposed to do?!
SIGN Hey, what's that sticking out of your head?
[14:18] Shin
Ah! He noticed me!
[14:20] Shin
What do we do? What should I do?!
SIGN A pimple.
[14:24] Shin
A-A pimple?!
[14:26] Shin
What kind of explanation is that?!
[14:28] Shin
He's not gonna buy that!
[14:29] Shin
Am I supposed to act like a pimple?!
SIGN Mine is also a pimple.
[14:32] Shin
Don't join in!
[14:34] Shin
Yours is something completely different!
SIGN Mine is Draw.
[14:36] Shin
Don't start playing again!
SIGN Too bad. Draw 4.
[14:39] Shin
Too bad none of you have any brains!
[14:41] Shin
Stop playing Uno!
[14:43] Shin
Why are there more sticking out?!
[14:44] Shin
What kind of Uno is this?!
[14:46] Shin
It's no use!
[14:47] Shin
We've been found out!
[14:48] Shin
We've so been found out!
[14:50] Shin
Thanks to these idiots, Earth is finished!
SIGN We have a long journey to make. Watch your health.
[14:54] Shin
Huh?
[14:56] Shin
Don't tell me that he bought it.
SIGN Hold on. I'll give you some Clearasil.
[15:00] Shin
He bought it!
[15:01] Shin
And he's going to give us Clearasil!
SIGN Clearasaw
SIGN This should get rid of it in a jiffy.
[15:09] Shin
Not what I was expecting!
[15:13] Shin
Hey! What are you doing, foolish four?!
[15:15] Shin
Stop! Let me go!
[15:18] Shin
Stop!
[15:20] Shin
I'm not a pimple!
SIGN You should feel much better.
SIGN It's almost time for dinner. Head to the main hall.
SIGN Roger.
[15:36] Shin
What am I?!
[15:52] Fumi
It appears that we've survived
the first challenge.
[15:55] Fumi
We're in the heart of the enemy base.
[15:58] Fumi
But it will only get more difficult.
[16:00] Fumi
In order to stop their plan, we'll
need to dig deeper into the military.
[16:06] Fumi
Look.
[16:06] ---
Are those...?
[16:08] Fumi
Those two generals are known
as the Double Dragons.
[16:11] Fumi
The Renho is made up of brigades
that are led by captains.
[16:14] Fumi
The entire army is led by the two generals.
[16:18] Fumi
And all of Renho is led by the man
[16:21] ---
who went from foot soldier
to supreme commander.
[16:25] Fumi
The evil lord, Dark Vader.
[16:28] Fumi
He was the one who decided to invade Earth.
[16:31] Fumi
Dark Vader is the strongest Renho,
[16:33] Fumi
who became the supreme commander through
a combination of strength and wiles.
[16:37] Fumi
He rules the Renho with an iron fist.
[16:40] Fumi
That is why we aren't allowed
to reveal our bodies or speak.
[16:45] Shin
Is that why you turned into a pervert?
[16:49] Fumi
The Renho have been reduced to a tribe
of slaves for fulfilling his ambitions.
[16:55] Fumi
We must defeat him, or there will
be no future for Earth or the Renho.
[17:00] Fumi
If we can only find a way
to reach his throat...
[17:07] Fumi
Oh, no! Stop talking!
[17:09] Shin
Uh, you're the only one who's been talking.
[17:12] Fumi
Don't take this banquet lightly.
[17:15] Fumi
Dark Vader is watching very closely.
[17:18] Fumi
If you drop a single grain of rice,
you'll be killed on the spot.
[17:21] Shin
What?!
[17:23] Fumi
Don't worry. Just do as I do.
[17:27] Shin
I'm getting really nervous.
[17:28] Kagura
Yay!
[17:29] Kagura
Look, Shinpachi. They have curry.
[17:32] Shin
Don't start celebrating, Kagura-chan!
[17:33] Shin
Please don't put natto on your
curry like you usually do!
[17:43] Shin
This curry comes with a
red Excitebike on top?!
[17:47] Shin
What's going on?!
[17:49] Shin
What is this?!
[17:50] Shin
Are they trying to ridicule me?!
[17:51] Shin
Was it wrong to order the sweet curry?!
SIGN Oh, you chose the sweet curry? You're such a child.
[17:58] Shin
The spicy curry is a black Bungeling Bay?!
[18:01] Shin
What's wrong with this planet?!
[18:03] Shin
Why do they eat Nintendo cartridges on rice?!
[18:05] Fumi
Hurry. Eat your food before it gets cold.
[18:09] Shin
Okay, I'll admit that I've
blown on cartridges before!
[18:12] Kagura
Oh, well. When in Rome...
[18:15] Kagura
Shinpachi, let's split this between us.
[18:18] Shin
No, it's impossible!
[18:20] Shin
This isn't edible!
[18:21] Shin
It's a Nintendo cartridge!
[18:23] Shin
It's only 8 bits!
[18:24] Shin
You're only eating the rice?!
[18:26] Shin
Hurry up, Shinpachi. Or
they'll get suspicious.
[18:29] Gin
Hey, Shinpachi, Kagura.
[18:31] Gin
You don't need to eat that crap.
[18:33] Shin
G-Gin-san!
[18:35] Gin
This is what you feed your
soldiers before the big battle?
[18:38] Saka
They don't respect us!
[18:39] Zura
They expect us to conquer Earth when
[18:41] ---
they don't even provide
us with proper nutrition?!
[18:43] Fumi
W-Wait a moment, guys!
SIGN Do you have a Virtual Boy? I'll have FF4. Excuse me, can I get DQ5 instead?
[18:46] Shin
That's not the issue here!
[18:48] Shin
And one of you is completely off!
SIGN Ah, found it!
SIGN So you don't have a Virtual Boy.
SIGN Yahoo! I want my FF4 Red Wings! But I'll probably throw it all up in the end...
[18:57] Fumi
O-Oh, no!
[18:59] Fumi
Only captains are allowed to eat DQ and FF!
[19:04] Fumi
So the captains also eat
Nintendo cartridges?!
[19:06] Fumi
And only the generals are
allowed to eat Super Nintendo
[19:10] Fumi
games such as DQ5 and other FF games!
SIGN What are you doing?!
SIGN You grunts dare to touch our Super Nintendo cartridges?!
[19:15] Shin
Crap! The generals have snapped!
[19:20] Shin
What are you doing, you three stooges?!
[19:22] Fumi
Look out!
SIGN Double Dragons, I apologize. Could you please spare them in return for my Actraiser?
SIGN What?! These are your men, General Eren?!
[19:34] Shin
G-General?!
[19:36] Shin
How?!
[19:37] Shin
I thought there were only two generals...
[19:38] Fumi
It can't be!
SIGN Yes...
[19:40] Fumi
He was promoted for his work on Earth...
SIGN I was about to recruit them.
SIGN You punks got spirit.
SIGN Interested in becoming my men?
[19:52] Zura
E-
[19:53] Zura
Elizabeth!
SIGN I don't know how you found out about our plan,
SIGN but we don't need your help.
[20:05] Mutsu
I beg to differ, Dark Vader.
[20:08] Mutsu
Earth will not fall so easily,
[20:11] Mutsu
for there are unique warriors there
that cannot be found anywhere else.
[20:17] Mutsu
The samurai...
[20:19] Mutsu
I believe it will be difficult, even
for you, to conquer their warrior code.
SIGN We also follow a code.
SIGN We Renho always wear white and keep our mouths shut.
SIGN Thus, have we established an identity for ourselves.
SIGN Mere samurai cannot overcome our will.
[20:40] Mutsu
I suppose. However, you will
lose valuable soldiers.
SIGN No matter. I have plenty more.
SIGN They are nothing more than tools.
[20:49] Mutsu
In war, soldiers are certainly expendable.
[20:52] Mutsu
However, when a nation doesn't
value the lives of its citizens,
[20:56] Mutsu
it is bound to collapse.
[20:58] Mutsu
You may have a new home,
[21:00] Mutsu
but it will matter little if you lose
the seeds for regaining your lost glory.
SIGN Why don't you test how useful my tools can be?
SIGN With the gun you carry...
SIGN It appears that you Earthlings are the ones who will lose their seeds.
SIGN I commend you for having the courage to come alone into enemy territory. I will grant you an up-close view of the destruction of Earth.
[21:27] Mutsu
You're the one who faces destruction.
[21:29] Mutsu
You have no right to be a leader
when you call your comrades tools.
[21:33] Mutsu
Don't underestimate the
planet of the samurai.
SIGN I don't need soldiers or citizens.
SIGN As long as I have those, I can conquer the galaxy.
SIGN The samurai will soon learn
SIGN why the Renho Army soldiers
SIGN are feared as the white devils.
[22:03] Shin
Renho Army?
[22:04] Shin
Don't you mean Renho Federation?!
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Next Episode: Piggy Banks and Trash Cans
[23:41] Saka
Next time:
[23:42] Saka
Piggy banks and trash cans.
SIGN So that's why they were called white devils. The Renho Army was actually the Renho Federation.
SIGN Wait, what would have happened if Sunrise wasn't the studio making this show?
E234 - Piggy banks and trash cans
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Gintoki and the gang have followed the missing Elizabeth into the Renho mothership.
SIGN The evil lord Dark Vader prepares to invade Earth. Can he be stopped?!
[01:43] Shin
What are you doing, you three stooges?!
[01:45] Fumi
Look out!
[01:49] Fumi
It can't be!
[01:50] Fumi
He was promoted for his work on Earth...
SIGN You punks got spirit.
SIGN Interested in becoming my men?
[01:57] Zura
E-
[01:58] Zura
Elizabeth!
SIGN It appears that you Earthlings are the ones who will lose their seeds.
[02:04] Mutsu
You're the one who faces destruction.
SIGN I commend you for having the courage to come alone into enemy territory. I will grant you an up-close view of the destruction of Earth.
[02:05] Mutsu
You have no right to be a leader
when you call your comrades tools.
[02:10] Mutsu
Don't underestimate the
planet of the samurai.
SIGN I don't need soldiers or citizens.
SIGN As long as I have those, I can conquer the galaxy.
SIGN The samurai will soon learn
SIGN why the Renho Army soldiers
SIGN are feared as the white devils.
[02:22] Shin
Renho Army?
[02:23] Shin
Don't you mean the Renho Federation?!
SIGN Piggy Banks and Trash Cans
[02:37] Fumi
Quiet down.
[02:39] Fumi
We managed to sneak all the way in here.
[02:41] Fumi
Don't waste that for the sake of a joke.
[02:43] Shin
Uh, wait, Fumiko-san!
[02:45] Shin
This is why you're known
as the white devils?!
[02:49] Fumi
These are the new white outfits that were
developed for the invasion of Earth.
[02:53] Fumi
The anti-samurai weapon, Gunsam!
[02:57] Fumi
They've made incredible
progress while I was gone.
[03:00] Shin
Uh, in the end, this is
just a blatant rip-off!
[03:04] Shin
Those look very familiar!
[03:06] Fumi
Dark Vader intends to have the Gunsams
[03:08] Fumi
attack Earth once the rain
has left the planet in chaos.
[03:10] Fumi
Earth won't last long
against such an onslaught!
[03:14] Shin
Uh, we won't last long against a
copyright infringement lawsuit.
[03:17] Fumi
Both were animated by Sunrise,
so a lawsuit would go nowhere.
[03:22] Fumi
They planned ahead.
[03:24] Shin
That's plain evil!
[03:26] Fumi
In any case, we have plenty
of incentive to destroy those.
[03:31] Kagura
How do we do that?
[03:33] Fumi
We'll have to think of something.
[03:35] Fumi
Before he...
[03:37] Fumi
Before General Eren leads his strike
force of Gunsams to attack Earth.
[03:42] Fumi
I never imagined that he would become
a general in such a short time.
[03:47] Shin
And I never imagined that we would
become Elizabeth's subordinates.
[03:53] Kagura
Maybe Eli recognized us?
[03:56] Fumi
He may do his job well, but
he's always been rather dense.
[04:01] Fumi
He couldn't even recognize his own girlfriend
[04:03] Fumi
when I changed to a different color ribbon.
[04:05] Shin
Uh, how is anyone supposed to pick you out?!
[04:08] Shin
This is harder than trying to find Waldo!
[04:10] Kagura
I see.
[04:11] ---
So he won't recognize Shinpachi
since he's a different color.
[04:14] Shin
He'll recognize me!
[04:15] Shin
He should recognize me when
I'm sticking out of your head!
[04:17] Fumi
Anyway, now that we're here,
this is the perfect chance.
[04:21] Fumi
I'll try to find a way
to destroy the Gunsams.
[04:24] Fumi
You do what you can to
disable the three stooges
[04:26] Fumi
and other pilots who are
part of the strike force.
[04:29] Kagura
Be careful, Cool Lady Fumi.
[04:31] Shin
Okay...
[04:32] Shin
Gin-san, did you hear all that?
[04:34] Gin
Loyal soldiers of the Renho Army!
[04:38] Gin
Thanks to our Elizabeth Rain,
[04:40] ---
over half of the Earthlings
are now trapped behind signs.
[04:44] Gin
The clouds surrounding Earth
are a symbol of our justice.
[04:49] Gin
The Earth's military is but
a shell of its former self.
[04:55] Gin
Verily, I declare them to be trash!
[04:58] Zura
Earthlings treasure their three M's above all.
[05:02] Zura
Their money, their mothers,
and their manhood.
[05:06] Zura
We start by hitting them in their manhood
[05:08] Zura
and immobilizing them.
[05:09] Zura
Then we take their mothers hostage
[05:11] Zura
and seize their money!
[05:13] Zura
We can render them helpless!
[05:16] Saka
On the battlefield, you have to
rely on the voices of your allies.
[05:19] Saka
Remember to ditch your signs and provide
your comrades with vocal support.
[05:23] Saka
And you're only allowed to
bring 300 yen worth of snacks.
[05:26] Saka
Don't forget your Gelgoog bag for
when you get mobile suit sickness...
[05:30] Shin
Why are you people teaching
them how to defeat Earthlings?!
[05:34] Shin
Why are you even here?!
[05:36] Shin
You're clearly helping the wrong side!
[05:39] Gin
You hit me!
[05:40] Gin
Bright-san never hit me!
[05:43] Shin
Most people haven't been hit by Bright!
[05:47] Saka
Sorry.
[05:48] Saka
I fell into my old habits after getting all
fired up about about the upcoming battle.
[05:51] Shin
What the hell were the wars like
back when you were fighting?!
[05:54] Shin
That last part was more or less
instructions for a picnic!
SIGN Teacher! Can we take our PSPs onto the battlefield?
[05:59] Zura
Okay, this is a battlefield, right?
[06:01] Zura
So you should be playing battlefield
games, if you get my drift.
SIGN What?!
[06:05] Shin
Why is this turning into a lecture?!
[06:07] Shin
Who's the teacher?!
[06:08] Zura
Fine, fine.
[06:10] Zura
That concludes today's court-martial.
[06:13] Zura
Everyone go outside for some Uno!
[06:15] Shin
Why would you play Uno outside?!
[06:16] Shin
Do you really want to play Uno?!
[06:18] Gin
Don't worry, Alzabeth.
[06:20] Gin
I'll move three times faster than usual.
[06:22] Shin
That's not gonna help, you stupid Red Comet!
[06:25] Saka
It's the job of a general to play some Uno
[06:26] Saka
and help put the men in that zone
between composure and passion.
[06:31] Shin
You people are between dumb and dumber!
[06:36] Shin
What is this?!
[06:37] Shin
Why are you playing Uno with the invaders?!
[06:37] Gin
I can see! I can see the enemy's hand!
[06:39] Shin
Why are you bonding with them?!
[06:40] Kagura
They're winning over the enemy.
[06:42] Gin
Tsk, how can this be...
[06:43] Kagura
They may have fallen, but they
were stars during the Joi era.
SIGN What a strange bunch.
[06:50] Shin
Eli-
[06:51] Shin
General Eren!
SIGN You were able to sap away the tension before a battle.
SIGN You have the odd ability to draw people in while doing stupid things.
SIGN Or maybe they were drawn in by your Earth smell.
SIGN You were also working as spies on Earth, right?
SIGN The same goes for everyone in my squad.
SIGN We were all ordered to infiltrate Earth and make contact with Earthlings.
SIGN Uno!
SIGN And now we're trying to destroy the people of Earth.
[07:18] Zura
So everyone here loves Earth.
[07:21] Zura
Otherwise, they wouldn't know the rules.
SIGN Uno
[07:26] Shin
Katsura-san...
SIGN I also played a lot of Uno.
[07:34] Zura
No!
SIGN He would challenge me to a game whenever we had time.
[07:37] Zura
C-Can you let me redo that...
SIGN But he sucked... I had to let him win a few times.
SIGN I guess I was already lying to him back then.
[07:44] Zura
Do you regret it?
[07:46] Zura
Then why...?
[07:48] Zura
Everyone here found something
important to them on Earth.
[07:52] Zura
Everyone here has grown to care for Earth.
[07:54] Zura
I-I am the same way.
[07:56] Zura
So why are we invading Earth?
SIGN ...I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
SIGN The Renho purge all who express dissent.
SIGN And keep your mouth shut. You won't get another warning.
[08:09] Zura
If the general were to show a sign,
everyone would revolt together.
[08:15] Zura
Nobody would have to
worry about a purge then.
[08:19] Zura
Is that what you're saying?
SIGN I learned many things on Earth.
SIGN Things that I wouldn't have learned
on this planet of cold steel.
SIGN Defeat
SIGN Many things that were warm to the touch.
SIGN I learned many things from the person
SIGN whom with I fought back-to-back.
SIGN That's why I have no regrets.
SIGN There is something I must protect.
SIGN Even if it means destroying Earth.
SIGN Even if it means fighting against him.
SIGN A true friend will always protect a friend's back.
SIGN That is what I learned from my friend on Earth.
[09:07] Zura
Elizabeth...
SIGN Attack Order In one hour, the entire armada will advance on Earth. All squadrons should immediately prepare for battle.
[09:31] Kagura
W-We've been given the order to attack.
[09:34] Shin
Already?!
[09:35] Shin
What happened to Mutsu-san's negotiations?!
[09:39] Saka
Mutsu, I see that you screwed up.
[09:41] Mutsu
I bought you plenty of time.
[09:43] Mutsu
You were able to come up with a plan, right?
[09:46] Saka
You bet! The guy before me used a Draw 2,
[09:49] Saka
so I tossed out a Draw 4,
[09:50] Saka
but then he said that going by Earth
rules, I could only use a Draw 2,
[09:54] Saka
so I tore my Draw 4 in half.
[09:55] Mutsu
The hell are you doing?!
[09:57] Mutsu
I'm out here risking my life to buy you time!
[10:01] Mutsu
What are we going to do?!
[10:02] Mutsu
The Kaientai have been locked up!
[10:04] Mutsu
We can't do anything!
[10:07] Zura
You don't need to worry.
[10:08] Zura
We're ready to go.
[10:10] Shin
Katsura-san.
[10:11] Zura
Relax...
[10:12] Zura
Elizabeth is still Elizabeth.
[10:14] Zura
The Elizabeth I believe in.
[10:17] Zura
We've been separated due to our
positions as Earthling and Renho,
SIGN How do you write out Renho?
[10:23] Zura
but we still believe in the same things.
SIGN Don't look.
[10:26] Zura
In that case, I can't let him down.
[10:30] Zura
Not when my friend says
that he believes in me.
[10:35] Zura
I'll stop the Renho.
[10:38] Zura
Even if it means cutting down Elizabeth.
[10:42] Gin
Zura...
SIGN What are you doing, Teacher? The general is already on his way to the front lines.
[10:46] Zura
Yes, I'm coming.
[10:50] Zura
I'm going to stop Elizabeth's strike force.
[10:53] Kagura
Wait, Zura!
[10:55] Kagura
You're going to fight Eli?!
[10:56] Saka
Yeah, knock yourself out, Zura.
[10:58] Gin
While you're running cover,
[11:01] Gin
we'll take out the big boss.
[11:03] Kagura
Gin-chan! Moldie!
[11:05] Saka
Doesn't matter how big the serpent
is. Cut off its head and it'll stop.
[11:08] Saka
Then we might not have to
cut off its tail, Kintoki.
[11:11] Saka
Well, that's only if we don't
get choked to death first.
[11:16] Gin
What are you babbling about?
[11:18] Gin
Your brain was already choked to death.
[11:23] Zura
Don't look back.
[11:28] Gin
I won't.
[11:34] Zura
You got my back.
[11:51] Kagura
I guess we don't need to worry
about the three stooges.
[11:55] Kagura
In that case, we should
help delay the soldiers.
[12:00] Shin
And how is Katsura-san going
to stop the strike force?
[12:04] Shin
Is he going to use that thing?
[12:06] Shin
Can he even pilot it?
[12:09] Fumi
Alzabeth!
[12:11] Shin
Fumiko-san!
[12:13] Fumi
What's going on?
[12:15] Fumi
Why did the attack start so soon?
[12:18] Shin
Well...
[12:19] Fumi
I don't believe it!
[12:21] Fumi
Just a little longer and I could
have disabled all of the Gunsams!
[12:25] Shin
Huh? You were able to do
something in such a short time?
[12:28] Fumi
You helped divert the
attention of the guards,
[12:31] Fumi
so while I wasn't able to do
anything to the mothership,
[12:33] Fumi
I managed to sabotage the Gunsams.
[12:35] Shin
What did you do?!
[13:07] Zura
A-Amazing...
[13:09] Zura
No wonder Vader is so taken by these.
[13:11] Zura
Okay! Just you wait, Elizabeth!
[13:15] Zura
Gunsam, ready to launch!
[13:19] Zura
Katsura, heading out!
[13:26] Fumi
What did I do?
[13:28] Fumi
I placed bombs in them.
[13:35] Shin
Ka-Katsura...
[13:38] Zura
...blew up!
SIGN What is it?
SIGN W-Well...
SIGN The Gunsam that launched suddenly blew up...
SIGN What?!
SIGN Could it be that...
SIGN they have other allies...?
SIGN Spies!
SIGN There are Earth spies on this ship!
SIGN The attack is off!!
SIGN Capture any suspicious rats and make it run blood!!
SIGN Don't let any of them escape!!
[14:16] Fumi
In any case, we were able to delay them.
[14:19] Shin
Uh, we lost one of our friends.
[14:22] Fumi
But it's strange...
[14:23] Fumi
The bomb I placed wasn't that strong, was it?
[14:27] Fumi
It was only supposed to blow off a leg...
[14:30] Kagura
Hm?
[14:30] Kagura
Hey, look over there!
[14:35] Shin
Wh-What is that?!
[14:38] Gin
Hey, Tatsuma, don't tell me
that you've lost your edge
[14:41] ---
after becoming a merchant.
[14:43] Saka
Can't really say.
[14:44] Saka
I was always more of a peace
lover compared to you boys.
[14:48] Saka
My mind's sharp as a razor, but I can't be
so confident about my ability with a blade.
[14:51] Gin
I see.
[14:52] Gin
So your mind and sword are both rusty.
SIGN Hey, fools.
SIGN What's going on?
SIGN That's Dark Vader's office.
SIGN What business do you have there?
SIGN We have a message for him.
SIGN What?! Did you find the spies?
[15:05] Saka
No.
[15:11] Saka
The samurai...
[15:13] Gin
...have invaded your planet.
SIGN You're the ones from earlier!!
SIGN I knew there was something suspicious about you.
SIGN To think that you were samurai...!!
SIGN Why are you out here in space?!
[15:23] Saka
You people didn't do enough research.
[15:27] Saka
The samurai weren't wiped off Earth.
[15:30] Gin
Have you forgotten the names of
the Amanto's most dreaded enemies?
[15:35] Gin
With our swords, we kept...
[15:37] Saka
...our country...
[15:38] Gin
...our friends...
[15:39] Saka
...our souls safe from the aliens.
[15:43] Saka
The Joi patriot, Sakamoto Tatsuma.
[15:46] Gin
Sakata Gintoki.
[15:49] Both
We'll take you on!
[15:57] Gin
This is a one night ceremony!
[15:59] Gin
Tatsuma, show them that you
haven't lost your edge!
[16:04] Saka
Yeah, got it!
[16:06] Saka
Time to go wild!
SIGN Sakamoto Tatsuma
[16:10] Saka
Excuse me, I'm Sakamoto Tatsuma,
chief logistics officer for the Joi.
[16:15] Saka
It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
[16:22] Saka
I believe that you're one of the Double
Dragons who lead this jolly group.
[16:25] Saka
Are you on the right or left?
SIGN I'm the right Dragon.
[16:28] Saka
Oh, that must be rough.
[16:30] Saka
You have to deal with the random gusts
in right field at Koshien Stadium.
[16:36] Saka
Well, I'm sure you have
a story or two to tell.
[16:42] Gin
What are you doing?!
[16:45] Saka
Don't mind me. Carry on with your fun.
[16:48] Saka
I have my own way of going wild.
SIGN Prepare yourself!
[16:52] Gin
Your own way of going wild?
[16:54] Gin
I'm the only one fighting here!
SIGN What are you trying to pull?
[16:59] Saka
Well, just between you and me,
[17:02] Saka
I was only pretending to
want to protect Earth.
[17:06] Saka
Truth is that I came all
the way here to do business.
SIGN Business?
[17:11] Saka
Yes, I consider space to be home.
[17:16] Saka
So I feel no attachment to Earth.
SIGN You're going to sell Earth? That's what your subordinate said when you first snuck on board.
[17:21] Saka
Please, she's a fledgling who
knows nothing about business.
[17:25] Saka
She always snaps when a
deal doesn't go her way.
[17:28] Saka
However, now I know what you people want.
SIGN What?
[17:32] Saka
You want a weapon that will be more useful
[17:35] Saka
than those white devils
for the invasion of Earth.
[17:37] Saka
Isn't that right?
[17:38] Saka
I have the perfect thing!
[17:42] Saka
Yes!
[17:43] Saka
To counter your white devils,
I offer a white demon.
[17:47] Saka
The White Yaksha.
[17:49] Saka
I've colored him completely
white to satisfy your needs.
[17:55] Gin
What the hell are you talking about?!
[17:58] Saka
And I'll even include the weapon
of self destruction, Zura,
[18:01] Saka
and the adult toy, Sakamoldie.
[18:04] Saka
It's an amazing deal!
SIGN Is this some kind of joke?
[18:09] Saka
I would never joke about selling my friends.
[18:11] Saka
Why not have the White Yaksha
and White Devil fight it out?
[18:15] Saka
That man doesn't give a damn about Earth.
SIGN Now to finish him!
[18:20] Saka
He's a demon who's capable of
[18:22] ---
crushing an Earth or two for
the sake of his friends.
[18:26] Saka
If you don't buy him,
he'll crush your planet.
[18:30] Saka
But if we join forces, we can take over
Earth or any planet of your choice.
SIGN Nonsense! After invading our planet, you now offer to help us take Earth?
[18:40] Saka
Sure thing.
[18:42] Saka
If we keep fighting, we'll just
weaken our forces for nothing.
[18:46] Saka
If you provide another place
for the Earthlings to live,
[18:51] Saka
we'll give you Earth in a split second.
[18:54] Saka
Planets are just a place
for people to stand on.
[18:57] Saka
A planet is just a rock.
[18:59] Saka
Takes people to make it a world.
[19:01] Saka
You can have all the piggy banks you want.
[19:05] Saka
I'm only interested in what's inside.
[19:08] Saka
Well, there definitely isn't gold inside.
[19:11] Saka
Just a bunch of old scarred steel.
[19:15] Saka
But I consider that steel the greatest
treasure there could ever be.
SIGN Joi patriots?
SIGN They weren't in the data provided by the advance scouts.
SIGN Reinforce our troops.
SIGN Grind the Earthlings into space dust.
SIGN M-My lord!!
SIGN B-Behind you!!
[19:45] Shin
Th-That's...
SIGN What...?
SIGN ...is that?
[19:55] Shin
E-Earth is...
SIGN Smiling.
[20:06] A
Huh? Your face is...
[20:08] B
And you're talking.
[20:10] A
Y-You're right! My voice!
[20:11] A
My face is back to normal!
[20:15] B
This is a rain from the heavens!
[20:16] A
The gods haven't abandoned us yet!
[20:20] Hana
Are you watching this?
[20:22] Hana
The people who lost their
voices are recovering!
[20:26] Hana
It's wonderful! So wonderful!
SIGN Th-This is!!
SIGN M-My Lord!!
[20:29] Hana
Wonderful for me!
[20:30] Hana
Wonderful for you!
[20:31] Hana
Wonderful for everyone!
[20:32] Shin
Th-The clouds...
[20:35] Shin
The clouds that were covering
Earth have dissipated...
SIGN To my home planet.
SIGN To my friend.
SIGN From Space,
SIGN with love.
SIGN It appears that those rats weren't the only ones with a trick up their sleeves.
[21:30] Katsura
That's...
SIGN You fooled me.
[21:33] Eli
I fooled no one.
[21:36] Eli
The words written on that planet aren't
[21:38] ---
the words of a spy, a general, or a Renho.
[21:41] Eli
They're Elizabeth's first
and last words of truth!
[21:49] Zura
Elizabeth!
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Next Episode
[23:30] Eli
Dark Vader finally reveals his
true power and attacks the Gunsam.
[23:34] Eli
The battles that ensue inspires terror
[23:37] Eli
that Katsura and Eren have
never experienced before!
[23:40] Eli
Next time: Empty planet.
SIGN Empty Planet
[23:42] Eli
Will you survive?
SIGN Speaking of which, will this anime be able to survive?
SIGN When we first started Gintama, we figured there would never be any mecha.
[3:04:10] ---
-
E235 - Empty planet
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Zura
Katsura, heading out!
[00:10] Gin
This is a one night ceremony!
[00:12] Gin
Tatsuma, show them that you
haven't lost your edge!
[00:16] Saka
Yeah, got it!
[00:18] Saka
Time to go wild!
[00:21] B
This is a rain from the heavens!
[00:23] Shin
Th-The clouds...
[00:25] Shin
The clouds that were covering
Earth have dissipated.
SIGN You fooled me.
[00:32] Eli
I fooled no one.
[00:35] Eli
The words written on that
planet aren't the words
[00:37] ---
of a spy, a general, or a Renho.
[00:40] Eli
They're Elizabeth's first
and last words of truth!
[00:47] Zura
Elizabeth!
SIGN Dark Vader's nefarious plot has been halted by his fellow Renho, Elizabeth!!
SIGN A one-man rebellion has been started by someone who betrayed his home planet for the sake of his loved ones!!
SIGN Empty Planet
[02:42] Shin
Someone else...
[02:43] Shin
Someone else is starting a rebellion!
[02:46] Shin
Who is it?
[02:47] Fumi
One of the spies who infiltrated Earth
[02:49] Fumi
tampered with the seeds to make this happen.
[02:53] Fumi
Only one person was in a
position to make that happen.
SIGN What... General Eren...?
[02:57] Fumi
There was also that explosion.
SIGN Is a rebel?!
SIGN Launch in the Gunsams and shoot down the traitor!!
[03:00] Fumi
It wasn't my bomb that blew up.
[03:05] Fumi
As the leader of the Gunsam
force for invading Earth,
[03:09] Fumi
he was able to secretly sabotage them.
SIGN Hey! Look!
SIGN My fellow Earth lovers. This is my final order as a general. Escape immediately. Don't throw your lives away.
SIGN What... General Eren...?
SIGN Th-The Gunsams!
[03:23] Fumi
This was his plan from the beginning.
[03:26] Fumi
He lied to you and betrayed you,
[03:29] Fumi
so he could return to the Renho
and stop the invasion of Earth.
SIGN Curse you, traitor!
[03:34] Fumi
And he did in a way that
would stop his own men,
SIGN Launch in the remaining ships!
[03:37] ---
who also loved Earth, from rebelling,
[03:41] Fumi
in order to take on the root
of all evil, Dark Vader.
[03:48] Fumi
He chose to betray both of his homes
[03:52] ---
to protect his Earth and Renho friends.
SIGN I see.
SIGN You rose to the rank of general so you could stop my plan.
SIGN You were locked onto my head with the eyes of a tiger.
[04:12] Dark
Eren, you thought you could
take my head so easily?
[04:18] Dark
You thought it would be so
easy to change the world?
[04:25] Dark
Nothing has changed.
[04:27] Dark
Earth's fate will be the same,
[04:29] Dark
as will the fate of the Renho.
[04:34] Dark
You may have left your qualms back on Earth,
[04:39] Dark
but are you prepared to give
your life to take mine?
[04:42] Eli
You've only taken out my main camera!
[04:47] Vader
Don't make me laugh!
[04:48] Vader
Eren, you are the only one who will die here.
[04:52] Vader
You have deceived and
betrayed your loved ones for
[04:55] ---
the sake of your loved ones.
[04:57] Vader
You turned your back on Earth and the Renho.
[05:02] Vader
You are alone in this giant universe.
[05:06] Vader
You have no allies.
[05:09] Vader
No one is watching you. Nothing will change.
[05:13] Vader
You will simply die alone.
[05:27] Vader
Eren!
[05:29] Vader
Curse you...
[05:39] Eli
Vader, you're absolutely right.
[05:42] Eli
I've been lying to myself
and betraying my friends.
[05:49] Eli
I no longer know who I am.
[05:54] Eli
But that is fine.
[05:56] Eli
I may no longer have a planet to call home,
[05:59] Eli
I may no longer have an identity,
[06:02] Eli
but if I can die as Katsura-san's friend,
[06:05] Eli
that's good enough.
[06:09] Vader
Then die!
[06:11] Vader
Die with no friends in
the dark void of space!
[06:16] Zura
He has a friend right here!
[06:19] Zura
It doesn't matter if you're in a dark place
[06:22] ---
or at the farthest reaches of the universe!
[06:27] Zura
I told you that I've got your back!
SIGN Ka...
[06:32] Eli
-tsura-san...
[06:34] Zura
It's not Tsura, it's Katsura.
[06:36] Eli
Wait, how are you reading my mind?
[06:39] Eli
Are you a Newtype?
[06:41] Eli
Why?
[06:42] Eli
I told you not to look!
[06:45] Eli
You weren't supposed to remember!
[06:48] Eli
Why am I...
[06:52] Eli
...crying?
[06:55] Zura
It must be like when a parent starts crying
[06:58] Zura
when he sees his child fall
down because it must hurt.
[07:03] Eli
This is a really stupid Newtype conversation!
[07:07] Zura
Oh, I can see time!
[07:10] Eli
Uh, could you stop ruining this moment?!
[07:13] Zura
Elizabeth!
[07:15] Eli
Katsura-san!
[07:22] Vader
The rat took the bait.
[07:26] Vader
I've been waiting for this moment!
[07:30] Zura
He repaired himself?!
[07:31] Zura
I-Is he a cyborg?!
[07:34] Vader
Fire!
[07:35] Vader
Reduce them all to space dust!
[07:39] Mutsu
Oh, no! The fleet is in position!
[07:41] Mutsu
Hurry!
[07:42] Kagura
There's no hope!
[07:43] Kagura
It's too late!
[07:46] Zura
Elizabeth!
[08:00] Vader
Y-You bastards...
[08:03] Vader
What is...
[08:05] Vader
...the meaning of this?
[08:09] Zura
I-Impossible...
[08:11] Zura
The enemy fleet fired on Dark Vader?
[08:18] Saka
Dark Vader, you're the
one who's alone in space!
[08:24] Saka
Sorry to keep you waiting, Zura.
[08:26] Saka
We've formed the Renth Alliance!
[08:27] Zura
Sakamoto!
[08:29] Vader
C-Curse you!
SIGN Dark Vader, you said
SIGN that the Renho were nothing more than tools for conquering Earth.
SIGN But the people of Earth said
SIGN that they would be willing to give up a planet or two for the sake of their fellow Earthlings.
SIGN That friends
SIGN were a treasure that could never be replaced.
SIGN We could kill the Earthlings and make their planet our new home,
SIGN but is there any value in a planet with no friends?
SIGN Samurai, don't forget your promise.
[08:54] Saka
Yeah, we'll help you conquer
any planet you choose.
SIGN In that case...
[09:00] A
In that case,
[09:01] A
will you join
[09:03] B
our comrade,
[09:06] ---
who has protected our second home,
[09:09] ---
Earth, the Renho pride, and his Renho comrades all alone!
[09:13] D
Will you help us join our friend
in conquering that empty planet?
[09:19] Saka
Consider it done.
[09:21] Saka
Renth Alliance, clause one.
[09:23] Saka
When Earthlings and Renho
play Uno, follow space rules.
[09:28] Saka
Clause two.
[09:29] Saka
When Renho are visiting Earth, let them play
[09:33] ---
SNES games along with the NES games.
[09:36] Saka
In other words, we're buddies now.
[09:40] Shin
In other words, you used
ActRaiser to string them along!
[09:44] Shin
What kind of alliance is this?!
[09:46] Saka
On Earth, you can eat all
the ActRaiser you want!
[09:49] All
Yeah!
[09:50] Shin
What's wrong with this planet?!
[09:52] Shin
They betrayed their leader for ActRaiser!
[09:56] Mutsu
Force and ideas won't make people change.
[09:59] Mutsu
It comes down to personal
benefit and connections, huh?
[10:03] Mutsu
His business deals are always stupid.
[10:06] Fumi
Eren, we weren't able to take Earth,
[10:14] Fumi
but I guess
[10:16] ---
we've found something much more important.
SIGN Katsura-san...
[10:22] Zura
Don't say a word.
[10:23] Zura
You and I were just doing what was right.
[10:27] Zura
We chose to do the honorable thing.
[10:31] Zura
There's no need for apologizes or farewells.
[10:34] Zura
The only words we need are...
SIGN Thank you bunny.
[10:38] Zura
OC!
[10:46] Zura
Let's go, Elizabeth!
[10:48] Zura
With our friends on Earth,
[10:49] Zura
and all our friends in the universe!
[10:52] Zura
Fire!
[10:57] Vader
C-Curse you all!
[11:00] Vader
You intend to destroy your own planet
for the sake of your friends?
[11:05] Vader
How will your tribe survive
[11:07] Vader
when you are trapped in the void
with no place to call home?
[11:12] Vader
You need this star... You need me!
[11:20] Gin
You can have this empty shell.
[11:23] Gin
It'll be your coffin.
[11:26] Gin
Nobody will mourn you!
[11:28] Gin
Nobody will remember you!
[11:31] Gin
You're going to die an empty death
[11:32] Gin
on your empty planet!
[11:34] Vader
You will be the ones who die, samurai!
[12:24] A
Did we kill him?
[12:26] B
The planet is falling apart...
SIGN No, it isn't falling apart.
[12:30] Zura
What? What do you mean?
[12:37] Vader
As I said...
[12:39] Vader
You can defeat me, but nothing will change!
[12:42] Vader
What?!
[12:43] Vader
Dark Vader was just like the rest of you.
[12:46] Vader
Nothing more than my puppet.
[12:49] Vader
And he wasn't the only one.
[12:51] Vader
Every leader on this planet
[12:56] ---
has been a hollow receptacle of my creation.
[13:02] Vader
Have you not realized yet?
[13:04] Vader
You have made an enemy
[13:07] Vader
of the planet itself!
[13:10] Zura
I-Impossible! The planet
[13:13] Zura
transformed into a giant Renho!
[13:16] Eli
V-Vader, could it be...
[13:20] Eli
The Renho mothership's central system, Sagi.
[13:23] Eli
That is the true identity of Vader...
[13:25] Eli
No, the true identity of every
false ruler over the Renho!
[13:30] Zura
Huh?
[13:32] Eli
Long ago, the planet of the Renho
was destroyed in a great war,
[13:36] Eli
and ever since, we have
lived on this metal planet.
[13:39] Eli
That was when we created Sagi.
[13:42] Eli
The brain of the planet, which
controlled the environment
[13:45] Eli
and developed a road map for our survival.
[13:50] Eli
But Sagi went berserk and
began to create leaders
[13:57] Eli
as tools for implementing the
most effective survival strategy.
[14:04] Eli
Eventually, this became tradition.
[14:10] Eli
The people were forced to
become silent soldiers.
[14:13] Eli
Yes, we Renho were created by Sagi.
[14:17] Eli
He considered us to be nothing
more than empty tools.
[14:22] Eli
Tools that could easily be
replaced, just like this machine.
[14:26] Eli
He believes that he can ensure
the survival of our tribe
[14:30] ---
by taking over a rich planet.
[14:33] Eli
But now that his tools
have turned against him,
[14:37] Eli
Sagi must resort to using another tool.
[14:41] Eli
The ultimate tool, the planet itself!
[14:47] Vader
I no longer need you worthless defects!
[14:51] Vader
I will simply conquer Earth myself!
[14:55] Vader
The technology of the Gunsams has
[14:58] ---
been perfected in this ultimate weapon,
[15:01] Vader
the White Lucifer!
[15:03] Vader
With this power, I can conquer
Earth, no, the universe, by myself!
[15:08] Vader
Once my loyal troops have
eliminated you defects and
[15:14] ---
the universe falls into my hands,
[15:16] Vader
the Renho will have eternal glory!
[15:22] Saka
I promised to conquer the planet,
[15:24] ---
but I didn't think we'd actually
have to fight the planet.
[15:28] Saka
White Lucifer vs. White Wavy Hair.
[15:31] Saka
This should be a grand show!
[15:35] Gin
Don't call me White Wavy Hair!
[15:37] Gin
How are we supposed to
fight that Renho monster?
[15:40] Gin
Oh, I see a Dombo three times
dumber than a normal Dombo.
[15:44] Gin
Why don't you head out there?
[15:46] Saka
Gintoki, Earth is finished at this rate.
[15:50] Saka
I'm gonna skip the fight
and go visit Club Smile.
[15:54] Gin
There isn't much point in leaving
behind your worthless genes.
[15:57] Gin
And there isn't enough time left.
[16:00] Saka
It'll be okay.
[16:01] ---
If I thrust three times faster than normal...
[16:03] Kagura
Hey, stop whining like babies!
[16:06] Mutsu
Men always lose their balls when
their back is against the wall.
[16:10] Gin
You telling me that I've lost my balls?!
[16:12] Gin
You ever seen me use my balls?!
[16:15] Gin
Want my balls in your face?!
[16:17] Mutsu
What are you talking about?
[16:19] Mutsu
Anyway, are you riding Kairinmaru?
[16:22] Saka
I'm riding a blond babe!
[16:25] Saka
Don't make fun of me!
[16:26] Mutsu
Good.
[16:27] Mutsu
The members of the Kaientai were
able to escape at the last second,
[16:29] Mutsu
and we're back on the ship.
[16:31] Mutsu
We can join up.
[16:33] Mutsu
I have one final plan.
[16:34] Mutsu
This is the only way to
protect Earth and the Renho!
[16:39] Saka
What? Join up and make babies?
[16:41] Saka
I'm not going to fuse with you!
[16:44] Mutsu
You almost had it.
[17:29] Saka
Huh? What is this?
[17:30] Saka
Uh, the ship is transforming?!
[17:35] Gin
Huh? What is this?!
[17:37] Gin
That ship's also transforming?!
[17:48] Saka
Hey, Mutsu!
[17:49] Saka
What is this?!
[17:50] Saka
Nobody told me this would happen!
[18:27] Mutsu
You almost had it.
[18:28] Mutsu
We aren't fusing to make babies.
[18:30] Mutsu
We're fusing to make a robot.
[18:36] Zura
Th-That's...
[18:38] Zura
Impossible...
[18:39] Zura
That's...
[18:42] All
What is that giant robot?!
[18:46] Mutsu
This is Earth's, the Renho's...
[18:49] Mutsu
No,
[18:51] ---
the universe's final hope!
[18:54] Mutsu
The Galactic Merchant Fleet Robot!
[18:56] Mutsu
Kaien!
[19:02] Shin
What is this Galactic Merchant Fleet?!
[19:05] Shin
Why are merchant ships
fusing into a giant robot?!
[19:07] Shin
What kind of merchants are you?!
[19:10] Mutsu
There's nothing standard about
doing business in space.
[19:12] Mutsu
Good thing I modified our fleet,
[19:15] Mutsu
since I was expecting to have to deal
with giant aliens at some point.
[19:18] Shin
Standard?! This has nothing
to do with what's standard!
[19:22] Shin
This is turning into a
completely different show!
[19:25] Saka
Mutsu!
[19:26] Saka
What have you done to my
poor little Kairinmaru?!
[19:30] Saka
You're not supposed to do anything to the
ship without the captain's permission!
[19:33] Saka
It's shaking so hard that...
[19:36] Mutsu
A captain would actually be on his ship
[19:38] Mutsu
instead of visiting hostess
clubs around the universe.
[19:42] Mutsu
You're more like a producer.
[19:46] Mutsu
Then I'll leave the bridge to you.
[19:48] All
Yes, ma'am!
[19:49] All
Best of luck, Captain!
[19:51] Shin
They're calling her Captain now!
[19:54] Mutsu
Let's get going then!
[19:56] Shin
Huh? Huh?
[19:56] Shin
Wh-What?!
[20:01] Shin
Wh-Where are we?
[20:03] Mutsu
Is everyone in their cockpits?
[20:05] Mutsu
Listen carefully.
[20:06] Mutsu
Kaien is so big that it's been
divided into six sectors.
[20:10] Mutsu
I need you to pilot these six sectors.
[20:16] Mutsu
Kagura and I will handle
the right and left legs.
[20:19] Mutsu
The two fuzzheads get
the right and left arms.
[20:22] Gin
Hey! You girls know how to
control a man's lower body?!
[20:26] Gin
This ain't the Nurarihyon you're used to!
[20:29] Mutsu
Don't worry.
[20:30] Mutsu
I assigned the dirty woman to the crotch.
[20:32] Shin
Why does this robot need
a pilot in the crotch?!
[20:35] Mutsu
This is our last chance!
[20:37] Mutsu
We must join our power
together in this Kaien,
[20:40] Mutsu
defeat Vader, that planet,
[20:42] Mutsu
and return to Earth with smiles on our faces!
[20:45] Shin
Uh, excuse me.
[20:46] Shin
Sorry to ruin the moment,
[20:49] Shin
but I'm the only one who
hasn't been assigned a spot.
[20:51] Mutsu
Oh, I forgot. Sorry.
[20:53] Shin
Uh, what am I piloting?
[20:56] Mutsu
You're, uh...
[20:59] Mutsu
A pimple.
[21:03] Shin
Again?!
[21:05] Shin
Hold on!
[21:06] Shin
Why does a robot have a pimple?!
[21:09] Shin
Why would a pimple need a pilot?!
[21:12] Mutsu
Kaien responds to the
movements of the pilots.
[21:16] Mutsu
You should act like a pimple and stay still.
[21:18] Shin
Is there any point to that?!
[21:21] Gin
Tsk, guess we don't have a choice.
[21:24] Saka
Yeah! This is my last big deal!
[21:27] Mutsu
We're going to create our own future!
[21:29] Kagura
Everyone ready?
[21:36] All
Kaien!
[21:41] Fumi
Oh, yes!
[21:51] Shin
Kaien! That was too fast!
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Next Episode
[23:30] Zura
Eren... No, Elizabeth...
[23:33] Zura
You may be tens of thousands
of light-years away,
[23:36] Zura
everyone may have forgotten about you,
[23:38] Zura
but I will never...
[23:41] Zura
Next time:
SIGN Don't Say Goodbye Lionel Will You Survive
[23:42] Zura
Don't say goodbye Lionel Will you survive?
SIGN Behold, our Kaien! Fight on again, Kaien!
SIGN Next time, the Renho arc will finally end!!
E236 - Don't say good-bye Lionel
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:30] Gin
Guess we don't have a choice.
[01:32] Saka
Yeah! This is my last big deal!
[01:35] Mutsu
We're going to create our own future!
[01:36] Kagura
Everyone ready?
[01:39] All
Kaien!
[01:44] Fumi
Oh, yes!
[01:53] Shin
Kaien! That was too fast!
SIGN Don't Say Goodbye Lionel
[02:04] Shin
Nothing's even happened and
we already blew our load?!
[02:09] Shin
The dirty woman shot it all over his face!
[02:12] Vader
Curse you!
[02:14] Vader
It's rude to start right off with a facial.
[02:16] Vader
You thought you could use
your limited knowledge
[02:19] Vader
from dirty magazines and porn to defeat me?!
[02:23] Shin
Here it comes!
[02:24] Shin
Hurry! Move out of the way!
[02:26] Saka
Who does what when we want to dodge?!
[02:29] Gin
Everybody just dodge!
[02:32] Gin
Combine our power!
[02:36] All
Let's go!
[02:42] Kaien
The name is Kaien, from the Kaientai!
[02:45] Kaien
I look forward to doing business with you!
[02:46] Shin
We combined our idiocy!
[02:51] Shin
H-He dodged it!
[02:53] Shin
He miraculously dodged the beam when
he presented his business card!
SIGN Kaien
[02:56] Shin
Why is this robot handing out business
cards in the middle of a fight?!
[03:00] Mutsu
Kaien was built for dealing
with giant clients.
[03:05] Mutsu
It's only capable of doing business.
[03:06] Shin
How are we supposed to fight then?!
[03:11] Shin
Here it comes!
[03:12] Shin
Here comes the second wave!
[03:13] Mutsu
Time for you to learn that
business is also a fight!
[03:17] Mutsu
Let's do this, Kagura!
[03:18] Kagura
Okay, Mucchi!
[03:23] Kaien
Galactic Merchant Lesson 1!
[03:25] Kaien
Businesses are built from the bottom up!
[03:27] Kaien
You have to do legwork to make money!
[03:30] Kaien
Even when your customers yell and
scream at you, never give up!
[03:34] Kaien
Never cry!
[03:35] Kaien
Never stop moving those legs!
[03:40] Kaien
Keep running until they've
felt your merchant soul!
[03:49] A
I-It kicked the missile back!
[03:53] Shin
Kagura-chan! Mutsu-san!
[03:58] Mutsu
I guess this is it.
[04:00] Kagura
The rest is up to you, boys.
[04:02] Shin
Kagura-chan! Mutsu-san!
[04:05] Vader
Curse you, you piece of junk!
[04:09] Vader
It's too late to resist now!
[04:15] Kaien
Galactic Merchant Lesson 2!
[04:19] Kaien
Even when you're up close with a customer
and on the verge of making a deal,
[04:23] Kaien
the customer won't make it easy for you.
[04:26] Kaien
When they give you suspicious looks,
[04:28] Kaien
when they turn down your proposals,
[04:31] Kaien
never give up!
[04:33] Kaien
Never cry!
[04:34] Kaien
Never close off your heart!
[04:48] Shin
Sakamoto-san!
[04:50] Kaien
You will find your answer when
your back is against the wall
[04:53] Kaien
in the form of a single ray of light
[04:58] Kaien
shooting from the bloody whirlwind!
[05:04] Shin
Gin-san!
[05:07] Gin
Pachi-boy, show them how strong we are.
[05:12] Vader
How annoying.
[05:14] Vader
You sacrificed yourself to disable my arms?
[05:18] Vader
However, you can't move either when
all you have left is a pimple.
[05:24] Vader
Your luck has run out.
[05:30] Kaien
Galactic Merchant Lesson 3!
[05:34] Vader
I-Impossible! The pimple...!
[05:37] Kaien
If you want your customers
to open up, you must first...
[05:48] Kaien
...open up yourself!
[05:51] Shin
No signs.
[05:52] Shin
No script.
[05:55] Shin
Use your own words to express yourself!
[06:00] A
True freedom for the Renho!
[06:02] B
Bring peace to earth, to the universe!
[06:05] C
Actraiser three meals a day!
[06:08] Zura
I join my friends...
[06:13] Zura
For tomorrow!
[06:23] Vader
C-Curse you all!
[06:28] Fumi
Everyone's spilling their guts.
[06:31] Fumi
Shouldn't you join in, Sagi?
[06:35] Vader
H-How can this be?
[06:38] Vader
Was it during that first attack?
[06:41] Fumi
This was the only way I could
protect everyone from your attack.
[06:46] Vader
You intend to die here with me?!
[06:49] Fumi
I have no regrets.
[06:50] Fumi
Our planet may be gone,
but we have a new home.
[06:55] Fumi
A planet which has welcomed
us with many smiles.
[07:00] Vader
Curse you!
[07:02] Fumi
Well, I've revealed my
most embarrassing secret!
[07:06] Fumi
It's your turn now!
[07:09] Fumi
Show me your naughty parts.
[07:13] Vader
St-Stop this!
[07:21] Fumi
Everyone watch me!
[07:24] Fumi
This is the last time I expose myself!
[07:27] Fumi
Peek inside!
[07:31] Shin
Th-The planet's core...
[07:34] Kagura
Cool Lady Fumiko!
[07:37] Fumi
Eren... Everyone...
[07:40] Fumi
I was finally able to write the
story I've always wanted to write.
[07:46] Fumi
With the universe as a canvas,
[07:48] Fumi
I can write a story about how we become
[07:51] ---
friends with the Earthlings.
[07:53] Fumi
And I have everyone helping me.
SIGN Don't look.
[08:29] Zura
Don't look.
[08:33] Zura
I found this in the room.
[08:37] Zura
What is it that I'm not supposed to look for?
[08:41] Zura
Or does it count as looking when
I'm looking for whatever it is
[08:45] Zura
that I'm not supposed to be looking for?
[08:48] Zura
In that case, I'll have to look for someone
to look for what I'm not supposed to look for,
[08:51] Zura
before deciding if I should
look or if I should not look.
[08:56] Zura
So I'm looking for someone who's
willing to look for the answer.
[08:59] Zura
But if I'm not supposed to look,
[09:01] Zura
then I can't look for the
someone to look for the someone
[09:03] Zura
to look for the someone to look for the...
[09:06] Gin
You're making this too hard.
[09:07] Shin
It's like you're lost in a
maze of what not to look for.
[09:10] Zura
Don't look...
[09:12] Gin
I won't.
[09:13] Gin
It's pretty obvious what this is.
[09:15] Gin
He ran away from home.
[09:16] Zura
R-Ran away from home?!
[09:19] Zura
Impossible! Unfathomable!
[09:20] Zura
He had no reason to be unhappy!
[09:24] Zura
The last time I saw him...
[09:27] Zura
Th-The last...
[09:31] Zura
Who was he?
[09:36] Gin
Beats me.
[09:51] A
General Eren!
[09:56] A
Hey! General Eren is awake!
[09:59] A
This is wonderful!
[10:01] A
We've been so worried, General!
SIGN Where are we...
[10:05] A
We are on the battleship White-Zabeth.
[10:07] A
Currently, we are in the process
of retrieving survivors.
[10:12] A
You don't remember?
[10:14] A
The planet was destroyed
when Sagi was eradicated.
[10:17] A
You were caught in the ensuing explosion.
[10:23] A
The Earthlings who helped
us are also unconscious.
SIGN What about Fumiko...
SIGN What about Fumiko...
SIGN I see...
SIGN So in the end,
SIGN they were the ones who saved me, instead of the other way around.
[10:41] A
No, you gave us the courage to stand up.
[10:47] A
You,
[10:48] A
the Earthlings,
[10:50] A
and Fumiko
[10:51] A
are all heroes who protected
the pride of the Renho.
[10:57] Gin
That guy always has to make a fuss.
[11:00] Shin
But what was that all about?
[11:03] Gin
Probably some kind of prank.
[11:05] Shin
Maybe it's my imagination,
[11:07] Shin
but it feels like something is missing.
[11:09] Kagura
Huh?
[11:10] Shin
Well, I thought there was usually
someone next to Katsura-san...
[11:15] Gin
Ow, my head...
[11:18] Shin
Are you okay?
[11:20] Shin
And why are we so injured?
[11:23] Kagura
Your heads have been injured
since the first episode.
[11:27] A
Wh-What are you saying, General Eren?!
[11:31] A
You're going to stay here
instead of returning to Earth?!
[11:33] A
For what purpose?!
[11:35] B
We have finally earned our freedom from Sagi!
[11:38] B
There's nothing to chain us down!
[11:40] B
So why?!
[11:41] Right
General, you have set us free.
[11:45] Right
So we believe that you should also live free.
[11:47] Right
Discard that white costume.
[11:50] Right
Live with your friends without
having to lie to yourself.
[11:55] Left
You don't need to worry about us.
[11:56] Left
Even after you're gone, we can still make
[11:59] ---
a planet that is just as wonderful as Earth!
SIGN Our battle hasn't ended.
SIGN We've been thrown into the void of space with nothing to our name.
SIGN However, this is the path we've chosen.
SIGN After sacrificing our friends, our planet...
SIGN We've decided to live by our own rules,
SIGN the way the samurai do.
SIGN This white outfit will be my first vow.
SIGN For the sake of our friends who risked
their lives for our freedom...
SIGN I promise
SIGN as the last Renho, as the last tool of war,
SIGN to devote my life to protecting that freedom.
[12:48] Right
You're giving up your own freedom
[12:51] ---
to protect the freedom of the Renho?
[12:54] A
But what about them?!
[12:57] A
The friends who fought to save Earth,
to save the Renho, to save you!
SIGN Yes.
SIGN They are my friends.
SIGN And we always will be,
SIGN no matter how far apart we are.
[13:11] Saka
Yeah, I appreciate all the help, Kintoki.
[13:14] Gin
I don't remember helping you, and I
don't remember my name being Kintoki.
[13:18] Saka
Really? I must have been helping you then.
[13:22] Gin
That makes even less sense.
[13:24] Saka
I feel like a war just ended.
[13:28] Saka
And we were able to take
back something important...
[13:34] Saka
Kintoki, have we forgotten
something important?
[13:40] Gin
Yeah, you've forgotten my name?
[13:43] Gin
And was your ship always this lame-looking?
[13:48] Saka
Ah!
[13:48] Saka
Mutsu! Y-You modified the ship
without my permission again?!
[13:59] Eli
Katsura-san...
[14:00] Eli
I'm sorry.
[14:03] Eli
This is why I didn't want you to look for me.
[14:05] Eli
This is why I didn't want you to remember me.
[14:08] Eli
Because my mind was already made up.
[14:12] Eli
Because I won't be returning to Earth.
[14:14] Eli
Because my resolve wavers
every time I see your face.
[14:19] Eli
But you followed me all the way out here!
[14:25] Eli
You came out into space to save me!
[14:29] Eli
I'm sure that all of you would follow
me anywhere to save a friend.
[14:37] Eli
That's why I have no choice.
[14:40] Eli
I have to erase every memory you have of me.
[14:43] Eli
The only solution is to make
you forget I ever existed.
[14:47] Eli
Because you have friends on
Earth who still need you.
[14:53] Eli
Because I have friends
here who still need me.
[14:58] Eli
Katsura-san...
[15:00] Eli
Good bye...
[15:01] Zura
Wait.
[15:03] Zura
How about we play one last game of Uno?
[15:07] Zura
If you win, you can erase our
memories and send us back to Earth.
[15:11] Zura
But if I win,
[15:13] Zura
I will never forget you.
[15:17] Zura
Even after we're back on Earth.
[15:23] Zura
Either way, this will
be our last game of Uno.
[15:26] Zura
Give me your best shot.
[15:28] Eli
Did Katsura-san already
know I would never return?
[15:34] Eli
You didn't come here to
take me back to Earth?
[15:40] Eli
Then why...?
[15:54] Zura
Because I wanted to play a
game of Uno with the real you,
[15:58] ---
not the Renho General or Eren.
[16:01] Zura
I was finally able to beat
you in a straight-up match.
[16:04] Zura
But you're strong enough now.
[16:07] Zura
You'll be able to survive
out there by yourself.
[16:11] Zura
Take care.
[16:13] Zura
Don't worry about me.
[16:15] Zura
I have these guys.
[16:19] Eli
This wasn't a straight-up match.
[16:21] Eli
It's not fair.
[16:28] Eli
I can barely see anything before me.
[16:34] Zura
I'm the same.
[16:38] Zura
But if you believe in the path you've chosen,
[16:40] ---
you must advance through your tears.
[16:43] Zura
I will continue to walk
the path I believe in.
[16:46] Zura
We may be tens of thousands
of light-years apart,
[16:49] Zura
but our paths will always cross.
[16:51] Zura
Never forget.
[16:53] Zura
Don't say goodbye Lionel.
[16:55] Zura
Until we meet again bunny.
[16:58] Zura
My friend.
[17:01] Zura
Elizabeth, everyone has forgotten about you.
[17:07] Zura
But it's okay.
[17:09] Zura
I'll be the only one who has to suffer.
[17:13] Gin
Who are you playing Uno with?
[17:15] Zura
I-I'm playing by myself.
[17:17] Zura
I need to keep in shape.
[17:21] Gin
Man, you have too much time.
[17:23] Gin
Here. Give me that.
[17:31] Zura
What are you doing?
[17:32] Gin
I'm dealing the cards again.
[17:34] Zura
That's not what I meant.
[17:37] Zura
There's an extra hand.
[17:38] Gin
What are you babbling about?
[17:42] Gin
There's another person over there.
[17:45] Gin
Wait, looks like we got a few more coming.
[18:16] Gin
What are you doing, Zura?
[18:18] Gin
Hurry up.
[18:21] Zura
Yeah, let's begin.
[18:25] Fumi
Long, long ago,
[18:27] Fumi
an evil alien came to Earth
to take its treasure.
[18:35] Fumi
But the alien became friends
with the Earthlings
[18:37] B
Hey, did you load up the Actraisers?
[18:41] Fumi
and he chose to fight on
their side and protect Earth.
[18:47] Fumi
However, the aliens' planet was ruined
by the battle to protect Earth,
[18:53] Fumi
so the alien decided to leave Earth
and help rebuild his home planet.
[19:00] Fumi
He didn't want any tearful goodbyes,
so he began erasing memories,
[19:06] Fumi
until there was nobody on
Earth who remembered him.
[19:12] Fumi
On the last day, he looked
at Earth one last time
[19:17] Fumi
to say goodbye to a planet
that no longer remembered him.
[19:22] Fumi
Goodbye!
[19:23] Fumi
There were no goodbyes coming
from the empty planet.
[19:29] Fumi
Instead, he saw beaming smiles.
[19:33] Fumi
For his treasures were still
safe on the empty planet.
[19:38] Fumi
At long last, he was able
to find that treasure.
[19:41] Fumi
A treasure that will never rust in the rain.
[19:46] Fumi
The treasure of friendship.
[19:50] Fumi
He wiped away his tears, leaving a smile,
[19:54] Fumi
and flew off into space
[19:57] Fumi
in search of new treasures.
[22:13] Fumi
But strangely enough, the friends he
left behind weren't lonely at all.
[22:18] Fumi
That was because
[22:24] Fumi
the Elizabeth who left was only
a temp who filled in on Mondays.
SIGN M Tu W Th F Sa Su
SIGN Temp
[22:30] Fumi
The regular Elizabeth, whose
identity remains a mystery,
SIGN Regular
[22:34] Fumi
just returned from a long vacation today.
SIGN Oh, Katsura-san. I just got
back. Here's a souvenir.
[22:41] Zura
Oh, the regular Elizabeth is back!
[22:44] Zura
Say goodbye to the temp Elizabeth!
[22:47] Zura
Goodbye, Monday Elizabeth!
[22:50] Zura
Sorry that you didn't get any
screen time in the Benizakura arc!
[23:03] Shin
Hey!
[23:17] Fumi
The end.
SIGN Next Episode
[23:20] Gin
A shining, silver wonderland...
[23:23] Gin
Fresh tracks in the snow.
[23:25] Gin
And the Shogun?!
SIGN Please Take Me Skiing
[23:30] Shogun
Next time:
[23:31] Shogun
Please take me skiing.
[23:33] Shogun
I place myself in your hands.
SIGN In summer, you go swimming!! In winter, you go snowboarding!!
SIGN The Shogun, Tokugawa Shigeshige, returns!! Please go easy on him...
E237 - Please take me skiing
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Live action Gintama!!
SIGN Take two!!
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin Snack Otose
[00:08] Shin
Oh, wow...
[00:11] Kagura
It looks so real.
[00:13] Gin
I know.
[00:13] Shin
The hell it does!
[00:15] Shin
This is way crappier than the first take!
[00:17] Gin
Everybody saw this coming.
[00:19] Gin
The staff went overboard
with that Kaien crap,
[00:21] Gin
so we're out of money.
[00:23] Kagura
It was pretty expensive
to borrow the mannequins
[00:25] Kagura
we used in the last live-action segment.
[00:27] Shin
Nobody wants to hear about that!
[00:29] Shin
So what do we do now?
[00:30] Shin
We already opened with the punch line.
[00:32] Gin
Huh? We still have that.
[00:34] Kagura
When we're out of punch
lines, there's always that.
SIGN A Shinsengumi vacation will never go off without a hitch!!
SIGN Everyone meets up at the ski slopes!! And there's someone else along for the ride...
[02:23] Toshi
Huh? A vacation?
[02:25] Kondo
Yeah, it's so cold that those
terrorists are probably hibernating.
[02:30] Kondo
Matsudaira said that we should
go on a ski trip to boost morale.
[02:35] Toshi
Where did he get that idea?
[02:37] Toshi
We can't go on a pleasure trip
and leave Edo undefended.
[02:40] Toshi
Besides, that freak is always
telling us to work harder.
[02:44] Toshi
Something isn't right.
[02:45] Okita
You're being paranoid.
[02:47] Okita
We've been working without any rest
since the show started up again.
[02:52] Okita
I guess a person who's rotten to the core
[02:54] Okita
doesn't know how to accept
a gesture of kindness.
[02:56] Toshi
I don't need to hear that from
someone who's rotten to his soul.
[02:59] Okita
If you're worried about Edo,
[03:01] Okita
we can divide the men into the
Kondo team and the Hijikata team
[03:03] Okita
and have one team stay behind.
[03:05] Okita
I'm sure you can defend Edo
by yourself, Hijikata-san.
[03:09] Toshi
Why is Hijikata-san the only
person on the Hijikata team?
[03:11] Toshi
Why is he the one staying behind?
[03:12] Okita
Let's go.
[03:13] Okita
Even gorillas need to hibernate.
[03:15] Kondo
I'm not a gorilla.
[03:19] Toshi
K-Kondo-san!
[03:20] Matsu
If you don't want to hibernate,
I'll just terminate you.
[03:23] Matsu
A beast can't survive winter if he
doesn't know when to rest his fangs.
[03:27] Toshi
P-Pops!
[03:29] Matsu
It wouldn't matter if you
were a solitary gorilla,
[03:31] Matsu
but you're a gorilla who leads a whole troop.
[03:34] Kondo
Th-That was close!
[03:35] Matsu
One bad decision and your entire
troop will be buried under the snow.
[03:39] Matsu
But if you insist on continuing
with your cracked fangs,
[03:42] Matsu
I'm going to
[03:44] Matsu
snap them off.
[03:46] Matsu
Do you want to go to sleep and see tomorrow?
[03:48] Matsu
Or go to sleep and never wake up again?
[03:50] Matsu
Make your choice.
[03:51] Matsu
If you don't make a choice in three
seconds, I'll blow your head off.
[03:54] Matsu
One...
[03:56] Kondo
What happened to two and three?!
[03:57] Matsu
Never heard of those numbers before.
[03:59] Matsu
A man only needs to know the number
one to get along in this world.
[04:03] Matsu
Hey, Toshi. What about you?
[04:05] Matsu
Are you going to rest or die?
[04:07] Matsu
Make it quick!
[04:08] Toshi
I'm staying behind.
[04:10] Toshi
We need someone to take Kondo-san's place.
[04:11] Matsu
Absolutely not.
[04:13] Matsu
You're going with him!
[04:15] Toshi
Why are you forcing us to take a vacation?
[04:17] Matsu
I'm trying to be nice here!
[04:20] Matsu
There is no other motive involved!
[04:22] Toshi
There's nothing nice about
how you're treating us.
[04:25] Matsu
Okay! That means you're all going!
[04:29] Matsu
Get packed.
[04:30] Okita
Yay. You got a soft side, Pops.
[04:32] Matsu
Oh, I have one more thing to mention!
[04:36] Matsu
There's someone who wants
to come along on your trip.
[04:41] Matsu
Well, he won't be that much trouble.
[04:44] Matsu
Just keep an eye on him if you would.
SIGN Please Take Me Skiing
[05:07] A
Hey, look at him! Oh, gosh!
[05:09] A
He's so cool!
[05:13] B
He's airborne!
[05:14] B
Awesome!
[05:15] D
What? Is he a pro or something?
[05:17] E
Damn! Look at that hang time!
[05:19] F
He's like a bird!
[05:22] G
Er, isn't this getting kind of ridiculous?
[05:32] N
We are currently traveling 45 kilometers
per hour at an altitude of 58 meters.
[05:36] N
Our target landing site is 30 meters ahead.
SIGN Altitude
Distance
Temperature
[05:39] N
Uh, there are people in the
vicinity of our objective, over.
[05:42] Toshi
Get rid of them immediately, over.
[05:52] N
We've eliminated the intruders,
[05:54] N
but our landing site was
ravaged by the weapons fire.
[05:56] N
I fear that he may trip and fall, over.
[05:59] Toshi
Uh, flatten the site immediately, over.
[06:20] Toshi
I'm glad to see that you're safe.
[06:22] Toshi
Did you enjoy your first attempt at snowboarding,
[06:29] Toshi
My Lord?
[06:31] Shogun
It felt good when I jumped and there
was a rush of air against my crotch.
[06:35] Shogun
I want to try it again.
[06:36] Toshi
Understood!
[06:37] Toshi
Hey, another crotch rush!
[06:39] Toshi
Bring the helicopter around!
[06:47] Toshi
I told you that something didn't sound right.
[06:51] Toshi
A vacation? Go spread your wings?
[06:55] Toshi
We're just babysitting the Shogun.
[06:57] Yama
Knowing our lord, he probably said that
he wanted to sneak out on a ski trip.
[07:03] Yama
The old man didn't know what to
do, so he just passed it on to us.
[07:08] Toshi
We won't be getting a
second of relaxation time.
[07:12] Toshi
If anything happens to the Shogun,
we'll pay with our lives and more.
[07:17] Yama
Still, you've gone a little
too far, vice chief.
[07:19] Yama
We're attracting too much attention.
[07:21] Yama
Nobody's supposed to know that we're here.
[07:22] Toshi
Don't be stupid.
[07:23] Toshi
If we let him ski on his own and
he gets hurt, we're finished.
[07:26] Toshi
We just have to convince the Shogun
that this is how people normally ski.
[07:30] Yama
But the other visitors are
getting scared and leaving.
[07:32] Toshi
All the better.
[07:34] Toshi
It'll be easier to protect the
Shogun if nobody else is around.
[07:37] Toshi
Sogo, bribe a staff member to stop the lift.
[07:41] Toshi
Don't let anyone else up there.
[07:43] Okita
Hijikata-san, there's someone suspicious
near the Shogun's landing site.
[07:47] Okita
Someone who's making a huge snowman
that's going to get in the way.
[07:50] Toshi
Tell them to leave.
[07:53] Okita
Hey, there.
[07:54] Okita
This is a ski slope.
[07:56] Okita
Find somewhere else to play.
[07:58] Okita
Hey, you listening to me?
[08:00] Okita
Find somewhere else to make your snowman.
[08:02] Kagura
Shut up!
[08:03] Kagura
This isn't a snowman.
[08:04] Kagura
This is a Neo Armstrong
Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon.
[08:08] Toshi
Huh?
[08:18] Toshi
Shogun!
[08:24] Toshi
Sogo! What's going on?!
[08:26] Toshi
Do you read me?!
[08:27] Toshi
Is the Shogun safe?!
[08:29] Toshi
Where did he go?!
[08:30] Kondo
Toshi! Do you read me?!
[08:32] Kondo
Toshi! We've got big trouble!
[08:34] Toshi
I know! I saw the whole thing!
[08:36] Kondo
What?! Really?!
[08:37] Kondo
I just came across them by coincidence!
[08:39] Kondo
I never expected Otae-san and
Shinpachi-kun to be here!
[08:43] Toshi
Huh? What are you talking about?!
[08:45] Kondo
It's a good thing that I got
curious and tailed them!
[08:48] Toshi
Hey, what are you talking about?!
[08:49] Toshi
Don't you know that the Shogun is missing?!
[08:52] Kondo
Huh?! What are you talking about?!
[08:54] Kondo
A man wearing nothing but his underwear
[08:57] Kondo
just came flying out of the
sky to attack Otae-san!
[08:58] Toshi
That's the Shogun!
[08:59] Kondo
If I don't do something, Otae-san
will be... Otae-san will be...!
[09:02] Toshi
The Shogun's the one who's getting
the crap beaten out of him!
[09:05] Kondo
I need to help her at once!
[09:07] Toshi
Hey, wait! That's the Shogun!
[09:09] Kondo
Damn!
[09:10] Kondo
The snowboard's preventing me from moving!
[09:13] Kondo
In that case...
[09:15] Kondo
Pervert!
[09:16] Kondo
Get away from my Otae-san!
[09:19] Otae
You're the pervert!
[09:25] Toshi
Kondo-san! Shogun!
[09:28] Toshi
This is bad!
[09:29] Toshi
His skis are carrying him away!
[09:32] Toshi
Wait a second!
[09:34] Toshi
The underwear boys are in an
incredibly wrong position!
[09:36] C
Eek! What's that?!
[09:38] G
We got a serious case of indecent
exposure flying down the slope!
[09:42] Toshi
Stop them!
[09:43] Toshi
We can't embarrass the Shogun, the Bakufu!
[09:46] Toshi
Do whatever it takes to stop them!
[09:49] A
The Shogun and chief
separated when they jumped!
[09:56] A
The Shogun hit an innocent bystander!
[10:02] Toshi
Damn, you guys go after Kondo-san!
[10:04] Toshi
Leave the Shogun to me!
[10:06] Yamazaki
Chief!
[10:07] Toshi
Hey! Are you okay?
[10:09] Gin
Yeah, I'm just fine.
[10:12] Gin
I'm also a beginner, so I understand
how your skis can carry you away.
[10:19] Gin
Well, let's all be careful.
[10:22] Toshi
Wait a moment!
[10:24] Toshi
That's the Shogun!
[10:26] A
Chief! Please stop!
[10:28] Yama
Damn!
[10:29] Yama
He's going too fast for us to catch up!
[10:31] Yama
Huh? Boss?
[10:32] Yama
Why are you here?
[10:34] Yama
Can you stop the chief...
[10:35] Yama
Huh? Wait...
[10:37] Yama
Do you realize what you're riding?!
[10:41] Yama
Vice chief!
[10:42] Yama
It's terrible!
[10:43] Yama
The Odd Jobs boss is...
[10:49] Yama
Wait, vice chief! That's the chief!
[10:52] Toshi
Stop!
[10:56] Toshi
Didn't you hear me tell you to
stop, you wavy-haired punk?!
[10:59] Gin
Huh? Why are you here?
[11:02] Toshi
We don't have time for that!
[11:04] Toshi
Look down! Look down!
[11:05] Gin
Ah! When did that happen?!
[11:06] Toshi
Don't give me that shit!
[11:08] Toshi
Don't you recognize who that is?!
[11:10] Gin
And who is your board?!
[11:12] Toshi
Ah! When did that happen?
[11:13] Gin
You're no better than I am!
[11:14] Toshi
Anyway, stop him as soon as you can!
[11:17] Toshi
Or you'll be committing
seppuku ten times over!
[11:19] Gin
I would have stopped already if I could!
[11:21] Gin
I'm a beginner at snowboarding,
[11:23] ---
so how am I supposed to
know how to stop a human?!
[11:25] Gin
What do I do?!
[11:26] Gin
Pretend like we're out in the
country where it's warm and fuzzy?
[11:29] Toshi
How's that supposed to help?!
[11:31] Gin
Hey! Wait a moment!
[11:33] Gin
His underwear!
[11:34] Gin
He slows down when I tug on his underwear!
[11:37] Toshi
What?! You can control humanboards
with their underwear?!
[11:41] Toshi
Oh, it's like a brake of sorts!
[11:44] Toshi
But we're leaving a strange track.
[11:46] Toshi
What is this?
[11:48] Gin
It's the track left by the brake.
[11:49] Toshi
The brake?!
[11:50] Toshi
Where would there be a
brake on the human body?!
[11:53] Gin
The penile brake!
[11:55] Gin
When I pull on his underwear,
[11:56] Gin
his penis extends like a brake.
[11:59] Toshi
Wait a moment! So you mean this is that?!
[12:01] Toshi
It's not actually a brake!
[12:03] Gin
Cold and hard!
[12:05] Gin
And that's the truth.
[12:07] Toshi
That's not funny! Cut it out!
[12:09] Toshi
Stop using that brake!
[12:10] Toshi
He won't be able to leave any heirs!
[12:12] Gin
We don't have time to be picky!
[12:14] Gin
Our priority is to stop this ride!
[12:25] Both
We broke the brakes...
[12:32] Toshi
Shit! We veered off the trail!
[12:35] Gin
Stop us! Someone stop us!
[12:38] Otae
Gin-san, are you okay?
[12:39] Otae
I'm coming to help!
[12:41] Otae
Hold on!
[12:44] Gin
Otae, you're here...
[12:48] Shin
Gin-san!
[12:49] Shin
Everything's okay now that we're here!
[12:53] Gin
Why are these siblings acting like
it's perfectly normal to humanboard?!
[12:57] Otae
I was learning how to snowboard,
[12:59] Otae
but I accidentally ended up
riding Shin-chan instead,
[13:01] Otae
and then I discovered the he
was actually an easier ride.
[13:04] Otae
I guess it's because we're siblings!
[13:06] Gin
You're not supposed to use
a sibling as a snowboard!
[13:08] Otae
I'll teach you how to humanboard.
[13:11] Otae
Listen carefully.
[13:13] Otae
First, you take note of
the glasses on your board.
[13:16] Otae
These will serve as the handles.
[13:17] Gin
Sorry! That's impossible!
[13:19] Gin
Please understand that not
every humanboard wears glasses!
[13:22] Otae
Oh, no! You can't control the
board if there aren't any glasses!
[13:27] Otae
Shin-chan!
[13:29] Gin
Uh, that's not Shin-chan!
[13:31] Otae
What do I do?!
[13:32] Otae
I can't do anything now!
[13:33] Gin
Why did you even bother coming out here?!
[13:35] Toshi
Hey, I have some advice for you.
[13:38] Toshi
Have you heard of a penile brake?
[13:41] Gin
The vice chief has snapped!
[13:42] Gin
He's making out-of-character remarks
that constitute sexual harassment!
[13:44] Gin
He's totally given up!
[13:46] Kagura
Gin-chan, are you okay?
[13:48] Kagura
I'm coming to help you! Hold on!
[13:51] Gin
You liar!
[13:52] Gin
Clearly you're the one who needs help!
[13:54] Gin
You can't do jack shit!
[13:57] Kagura
That's not true!
[13:59] Kagura
I'm going to save everyone!
[14:02] Okita
We're all going to die...
[14:04] Gin
Huh?! What?!
[14:06] Kagura
If you give up, the game is over!
[14:09] Okita
The worst part is when you're still
clinging to hope when you die.
[14:13] Gin
There's someone chiming in
with really negative remarks!
[14:16] Kagura
Don't be fooled!
[14:18] Okita
By your bullshit?
[14:19] Gin
Hey, what are they doing?!
[14:21] Gin
This is like that whole angel/devil
whispering in your head thing!
[14:24] Kagura
No. I am not me. I am not you.
[14:26] Okita
But I am me. I am you.
[14:29] Both
Yes, there is no black or white.
[14:32] Both
All will return to true darkness!
[14:34] Gin
And now it's just a completely black ball!
[14:47] Zura
I've been waiting this whole
time under the snowball.
[14:52] Gin
Uh, Kagura.
[14:54] Toshi
Sogo...
[14:55] Both
Have you heard of a penile brake?
[14:57] Zura
Huh?
[14:59] Zura
Wait!
[15:00] Zura
What are you doing to the leader?!
[15:02] Zura
Wait!
[15:31] Toshi
Where am I?
[15:34] Toshi
I remember that...
[15:37] Toshi
I came to the slopes as a
bodyguard for the Shogun...
[15:50] Toshi
Shogun!
[15:53] Toshi
Where's the Shogun?!
[15:55] Toshi
Dammit!
[15:57] Toshi
He's not here!
[15:58] Toshi
The Shogun isn't here!
[16:00] Toshi
Damn, I need to call for backup!
[16:02] Toshi
Out of range?
[16:03] Toshi
Y-You've gotta be kidding...
[16:05] Toshi
How far down did we fall?
[16:09] Toshi
No trails.
[16:11] Toshi
No sign of civilization.
[16:14] Toshi
No help.
[16:16] Toshi
I just have a bunch of useless incompetents.
[16:22] Toshi
We're stranded.
[16:25] Toshi
Forget about protecting the Shogun.
[16:27] Toshi
We're the ones who've been stranded.
[16:30] Shin
Shogun!
[16:32] Shin
Answer if you're there!
[16:35] Shin
Shogun!
[16:45] Toshi
I'm gonna lose my head.
[16:47] Toshi
We're all gonna lose our heads.
[16:50] Gin
That's ridiculous.
[16:52] Gin
You get a bunch of innocent
bystanders involved in your mess,
[16:53] Gin
and now you want to take our heads?
[16:55] Gin
When we just happened to win a ski trip
from a drawing in the shopping district?
[16:58] Gin
You fools can go to hell by yourselves.
[17:00] Toshi
Did you also win a free pass for riding the
Shogun like a snowboard in that drawing?
[17:04] Gin
Don't ask me. I didn't even
realize he was under me.
[17:08] Kagura
Oh, yeah. That reminds me.
[17:11] Kagura
He once mentioned how someone at the top
[17:13] Kagura
needs to understand how
someone at the bottom feels.
[17:16] Toshi
That doesn't mean he should
become a snowboard.
[17:19] Kondo
I see.
[17:19] Kondo
So Toshi was using me as a snowboard
[17:21] Kondo
because he felt I needed to
know how the men below me felt.
[17:24] Kondo
So that's what it was.
[17:26] Toshi
It sure was.
[17:26] Toshi
That's why I did it.
[17:28] Otae
In any case, the Shogun can't survive
this cold in nothing but his underwear.
[17:33] Toshi
Uh, lady?
[17:34] Toshi
There are a bunch of men in nothing
but their underwear right before you.
[17:36] Otae
They say that you're supposed to take off
your clothes and cuddle to stay warm.
[17:42] Otae
Let's send some naked people to go find him!
[17:44] Kondo
Someone bring me a blankie!
[17:45] Kondo
A blankie to warm my heart!
[17:47] Toshi
Whether we're going to save the
Shogun or get our heads chopped off,
[17:51] Toshi
we need to worry about our own safety first.
[17:54] Okita
I know. We're stranded.
[17:57] Zura
That makes sense.
[18:00] Zura
In that case, we should split
up into a group for ensuring
[18:02] Zura
our survival and a group
to search for the Shogun.
[18:05] Zura
Yes, there's no need to worry.
[18:07] Zura
The Shogun may be our reviled enemy,
[18:10] Zura
but there's no point in bringing that up now.
[18:15] Zura
Let bygones be bygones! Focus
on the danger we currently face!
[18:19] Zura
I am just an ordinary leader now!
[18:22] Zura
Feel free to dive into my arms!
[18:24] Okita
Well, if something happens to the
Shogun, we can just blame him.
[18:29] Okita
So what do we do now?
[18:31] Zura
Uh, can you hear me?!
[18:32] Zura
Could you let your leader out of here?!
[18:34] Toshi
The other men should have noticed
that we're all missing.
[18:39] Toshi
Help will come eventually.
[18:40] Zura
Can you hear me?!
[18:42] Toshi
So we and the Shogun have
to survive until then.
[18:45] Toshi
We're splitting up into two groups.
[18:47] Zura
Hey! That was my idea!
[18:49] Zura
You copycat!
[18:50] Toshi
This appears to be a ridge of some sort.
[18:52] Toshi
We have a decent view, and it'll be
easier for others to see us here.
[18:55] Toshi
Start a fire and keep the
smoke going at all times.
[18:57] Toshi
We'll make this our base.
[19:00] Toshi
Try to make some sort of
shelter from the cold.
[19:03] Toshi
Everyone else will look for the Shogun.
[19:05] Toshi
We need to find him today.
[19:08] Shin
Look for the Shogun?
[19:09] Shin
The snow is coming down
really hard. It's dangerous.
[19:12] Toshi
That's why we have to go.
[19:15] Toshi
We can make it back if we
have the smoke to guide us.
[19:17] Shin
But it's too dangerous!
[19:19] Shin
What if there are casualties?
[19:21] Toshi
Then we'll be fair and use rock,
paper, scissors to decide.
[19:24] Toshi
Here we go!
[19:25] All
Rock always wins!
[19:27] All
Rock, paper...
[19:33] All
Good luck!
[19:36] Toshi
Kondo-san! Watch your back out there!
[19:39] Kondo
Uh, there's nothing on
my back to even watch...
[19:44] Gin
Huh? What?
[19:45] Gin
Did he say something?
[19:46] Kondo
Uh, are you forgetting something?
[19:49] Shin
Forgetting something?
What's he talking about?
[19:51] Shin
Beats me...
[19:52] Kondo
Uh, it's pretty cold...
[19:54] Kondo
Uh...
[19:54] Kondo
Oh, I know!
[19:55] Kondo
The Shogun must be cold!
[19:57] Kondo
I should bring some clothes for him!
[20:02] Gin
Hey, get a grip.
[20:04] Gin
There are clothes right there.
[20:06] Gin
Around your waist.
[20:11] Otae
Please, Kondo-san.
[20:13] Otae
You're so forgetful.
[20:18] Kondo
Oops! I screwed up!
[20:21] Otae
Make sure that they're warm
before you give them to him.
[20:23] Kondo
Th-Then I'll be going...
[20:25] Toshi
I just realized that Kondo-san
isn't wearing anything.
[20:29] Okita
Oh, you're right. I completely forgot.
[20:31] Toshi
Hey, everyone. Give Kondo-san
one article of clothing.
[20:35] Toshi
He won't be cold if we all pitch in.
[20:43] Both
Okay. Be careful out there, Kondo-san.
[20:48] Kondo
Y-Yeah!
[20:51] Kondo
But you all gave me your gloves.
[20:57] Zura
Hey, wait.
[20:59] Zura
You'll die if you underestimate the
bitter cold of a winter mountain.
[21:04] Zura
Wear this.
[21:05] Kondo
Ka-Katsura...
[21:07] Zura
As I was saying, we need to
work together to survive.
[21:32] Toshi
We're in an extremely perilous situation.
[21:38] Toshi
No help in sight.
[21:40] Toshi
Our survival in this unknown land
rests upon a very fragile trust.
[21:46] Toshi
Will we be able to survive?
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Next Episode
[23:31] Toshi
Damn! Where's the Shogun?!
[23:33] Toshi
We're going to die before
they can chop off our heads!
[23:37] Shogun
Next time:
SIGN A Vacation in Disorientation
[23:38] Shogun
A vacation in disorientation.
[23:40] Shogun
Please.
SIGN The group divides into two teams for securing shelter and finding the Shogun as they attempt to survive in the snowy mountains!!
SIGN Stranded in the middle of the blizzard, the group encounters...
E238 - A vacation in disorientation
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Toshi
Huh? A vacation?
[00:02] Matsu
Oh, I have one more thing to mention!
[00:06] Matsu
There's someone who wants
to come along on your trip.
[00:11] Matsu
Well, he won't be that much trouble.
[00:14] Matsu
Just keep an eye on him if you would.
[00:17] Toshi
Stop them!
[00:18] Toshi
We can't embarrass the Shogun, the Bakufu!
[00:24] Toshi
We're stranded...
[00:26] Toshi
Forget about protecting the Shogun,
[00:29] Toshi
we're the ones who've been stranded.
SIGN The great Shogun, Shigeshige Tokugawa, has been lost on the ski slopes!!
SIGN Hijikata and the other stranded victims have two missions, to endure the cold and to find the Shogun.
SIGN A Vacation in Disorientation
[02:32] Kagura
I think it's starting to snow harder.
[02:35] Gin
Gonna be a blizzard tonight.
[02:38] Shin
Will Kondo-san and the Shogun be okay?
[02:41] Gin
We need to worry about ourselves first.
[02:44] Gin
Isn't there a hut or something around here?
[02:48] Shin
We wouldn't be stranded if there was.
[02:51] Shin
You can only be stranded when
there aren't people around.
[02:58] Kagura
Hmm? What are they doing?
[03:03] Kagura
Hey, whatcha doing?
[03:04] Kagura
Are you looking for food, doggie?
[03:07] Okita
I'm not like you.
[03:09] Okita
I don't eat food off the ground.
[03:11] Kagura
Never? Never ever?
[03:14] Kagura
Oops, some sukonbu fell out of my pocket.
[03:17] Kagura
Uh oh, what should I do?
SIGN Sukonbu
[03:22] Kagura
Why are you two diving for the food?!
[03:25] Kagura
Stop it! That's embarrassing!
[03:26] Gin
Once it touches the ground,
it's returned to the earth!
[03:30] Gin
The food is mine!
[03:31] Kagura
No, it's mine!
[03:33] Toshi
Hey, what are you idiots doing?
[03:36] Toshi
If you're going to get in the way, you
should also return to the earth.
[03:38] Toshi
Stop playing with valuable food.
[03:43] Toshi
Oops, I dropped some mayonnaise.
[03:46] Toshi
What should I do?
[03:58] Okita
That takes care of the interference.
[04:00] Shin
Okita-san, is that a snow hut?
[04:04] Okita
We're not going to find any buildings
out here in the middle of nowhere.
[04:08] Okita
And there's no guarantee that
there are any caves nearby.
[04:11] Okita
But there's plenty of snow.
[04:13] Okita
In that case, we can find
shelter in the snow.
[04:17] Gin
Oh, my. Did you hear that, Kagura-san?
[04:19] Gin
He's going to use snow
as shelter from the snow.
[04:25] Kagura
I guess the baboon is turning feral on us.
[04:29] Kagura
How can snow possibly keep you warm?
[04:32] Gin
Freiza's cold-hearted attacks
won't help either.
[04:35] Gin
Have you forgotten how agonizing
it was for Vegeta to serve Frieza,
[04:38] Gin
the one who destroyed his planet?!
[04:40] Okita
Go inside and see for yourself.
[04:42] Gin
No thank you.
[04:43] Gin
We don't want to freeze to death.
[04:46] Gin
Oh, sorry if you get wet,
[04:48] Gin
since it looks like some kind of restroom.
[04:50] Toshi
Just go inside!
[04:56] Shin
How is it, Gin-san, Kagura-chan?
[04:58] Shin
Huh?
[04:59] Shin
Gin-san? Kagura-chan?
[05:02] Kagura
What is this?
[05:04] Kagura
Oh, wow.
[05:07] Gin
It's so warm.
[05:13] Gin
And not just in a physical sense.
[05:18] Gin
My entire soul feels warm.
[05:22] Gin
It's so comfortable.
[05:27] Kagura
What is this?
[05:29] Kagura
Why do I feel this way?
[05:31] Gin
This is...
[05:32] Gin
This is almost like...
[05:34] Gin
...I'm back inside my mother's womb.
[05:39] Okita
Well, I won't be letting you inside
[05:42] Okita
since you apparently have
a better place to sleep.
[05:44] Gin
F-Fine with me.
[05:46] Gin
It's not like I want to sleep in
such a cramped and dark place.
[05:49] Kagura
Can't even roll over in here.
[05:51] Toshi
Then get the hell out!
Don't make yourself comfortable!
[05:55] Gin
You're the one who told us to come in!
[05:56] Gin
You should thank us for trying
this dump out for you.
[05:59] Toshi
Ah! Did you just fart?!
[06:02] Gin
Oopsie-daisy!
[06:04] Gin
Okay, we'll go find our own place to sleep.
[06:06] Toshi
That's not the exit!
[06:08] Gin
Huh?
[06:09] Gin
The entrance was so small that I figured
I should find a different way out.
[06:13] Toshi
That's bullshit!
[06:15] Toshi
You did it on purpose!
[06:16] Toshi
You were mad so you destroyed it!
[06:19] Toshi
Hey, what now?
[06:21] Toshi
The snow's getting worse!
[06:23] Toshi
We're wasting our energy here!
[06:26] Toshi
Are you trying to get
us all frozen to death?!
[06:28] Zura
Hey! Over here, everyone!
[06:31] Zura
You shouldn't be fighting
at a time like this.
[06:34] Zura
I'll let you all inside my snow hut!
[06:36] Zura
Come on!
[06:37] Okita
Katsura, who gave you
permission to walk around?
[06:40] Zura
I'm getting used to this body.
[06:43] Zura
I did some looking around,
and I came across this den.
[06:46] Kagura
What is this den?
[06:49] Kagura
Are there bears hibernating inside?
[06:51] Zura
Don't worry. I already chased off the beasts.
[06:54] Shin
Huh? There were actually bears inside?
[06:59] Zura
There wouldn't be bears here.
[07:03] Zura
It was just...
[07:04] Zura
Bigfoot.
[07:10] Shin
Bigfoot doesn't exist!
[07:13] Gin
Why would a mythical UMA be living out here?!
SIGN Shocking!! The giant ape Bigfoot is real?!
[07:17] Gin
Why would Bigfoot wear sneakers?!
[07:19] Zura
Well, I can't be positive
[07:22] Zura
since I was preoccupied at the time.
[07:25] Zura
It could have been a man
with really big feet.
[07:28] Gin
No, I'll confirm it for you!
[07:30] Gin
Nobody has feet this big!
SIGN Sorry. It's cold, so can I stay here tonight? No? You
might have a big body, but your brain is tiny, Stupidfoot!
[07:32] Zura
I asked him to let me stay the night,
but he wouldn't listen to me.
[07:37] Zura
So I attached a letter to
his shoe with thumbtacks,
[07:41] Zura
and he seemed to get the message.
[07:43] Shin
The wrong message!
[07:45] Shin
His foot's all bloody from the thumbtacks!
[07:48] Zura
He even left this wonderful bed.
[07:50] Gin
That's just a stinking sneaker!
[07:53] Zura
If I sleep in here, I won't freeze to death.
[07:57] Zura
Ow! Something's stabbing into my back!
[08:00] Zura
Who put a thumbtack here?!
[08:03] Gin
Hey! I can hear footsteps coming closer!
[08:05] Shin
Crap! Bigfoot-san is coming back!
[08:08] Gin
Run for it!
[08:10] Zura
Hey, where are you going?
[08:12] Zura
Get this thumbtack out of my back.
[08:16] Zura
Oh, you're back?
[08:18] Zura
Uh, I think it's around here.
[08:22] Zura
Yes, that's it.
[08:33] Toshi
Hey, this is looking bad.
[08:35] Toshi
If we don't find some sort of
shelter from this blizzard,
[08:37] ---
we're all gonna freeze to death!
[08:39] Otae
Everyone! Over here!
[08:42] Otae
I found a great place!
[08:44] Shin
Sis!
[08:49] Shin
There's actually a cave here.
[08:53] Toshi
It's not any warmer,
[08:55] Toshi
but at least we won't be buried by the snow.
[08:59] Otae
Yes, and there's even food here.
[09:02] Shin
Really?
[09:04] Otae
Take a look.
[09:05] Otae
I managed to find so much food.
[09:10] Shin
Sis, what are those?
[09:13] Otae
Chupacabras.
[09:23] Otae
This appears to be a chupacabra nest.
[09:26] Otae
Beyond the chupacabras, you
won't find bears or Bigfoot.
[09:30] Otae
Instead, you'll find the
ancient city of Fazan,
[09:32] Otae
said to have been conquered by
the chupacabras in one night!
[09:38] Otae
If we defeat the chupacabras and
reach the core system of Fazan,
[09:42] Otae
we won't have to worry about
being stranded anymore!
[09:46] Otae
All of our problems will be solved!
[09:49] Otae
Now, let's rise up!
[09:52] Otae
We must fight for our victory!
[09:54] Otae
I know that we can do this if we're together!
[09:56] Otae
Let's go!
[10:00] Otae
Huh?
[10:06] Shin
The blizzard keeps getting worse.
[10:08] Shin
What are we going to do?!
[10:10] Shin
The sun's gone down and we
still haven't found shelter!
[10:14] Shin
We'll be popsicles in no time!
[10:20] Zura
Stop whining about a little cold, you babies!
[10:22] Zura
After Bigfoot-san stuck
a bunch of needles in me,
[10:24] ---
I feel like my body's on fire!
[10:27] Zura
You should all come back
to see Bigfoot-san with me!
[10:30] Shin
Hell no!
[10:31] Otae
We should use the cave I found.
[10:34] Otae
Look at this delicious fried chupacabra.
[10:39] Gin
She can turn unidentified creatures
into an unidentified substance!
[10:42] Gin
Everything she touches becomes dark matter!
[10:44] Shin
How are we supposed to
spend the night in the lair
[10:46] ---
of those scary creatures?!
[10:48] Shin
And even if we wanted to turn back,
[10:50] Shin
we wouldn't be able to see where
we're going in this blizzard!
[10:56] Toshi
It's snowing so hard that we can't even see
the smoke from the fire we left behind.
[10:59] Okita
I'm pretty sure the snow
already put out the fire.
[11:03] Okita
Kondo-san and the Shogun
won't know where to go.
[11:06] Gin
Don't worry.
[11:07] Gin
I'm sure that they'll return.
[11:09] Gin
To the earth.
[11:10] Toshi
Don't say that!
[11:12] Toshi
If anything happens to the Shogun,
[11:14] ---
everyone here will be returning to the earth!
[11:16] Okita
It'll be fine, Hijikata-san.
[11:18] Okita
I'm sure that we'll all return.
[11:21] Okita
The Shogun's white underwear...
[11:23] Okita
Our white faces...
[11:26] Gin
Everything will become white under this snow.
[11:29] Gin
Everything will return to zero!
[11:31] Shin
The sadists can't take it!
[11:33] Shin
They've already given up!
[11:34] Shin
Get a grip!
[11:36] Shin
If we don't give up, we'll
find a way to survive!
[11:38] Shin
Isn't that right, Hijikata-san?
[11:42] Toshi
Tsk.
[11:44] Toshi
All I can say is that it doesn't
get any worse than this.
[11:50] Toshi
But on the bright side,
it can't get any worse.
[11:53] Toshi
We just have to climb our
way out of this hole.
[11:55] Toshi
That's one less problem to worry about.
[11:58] Shin
Hijikata-san...
[11:59] Toshi
What?
[12:01] Shin
It just got worse!
[12:06] Gin
Why did a bear have to show up now?!
[12:09] Zura
C-Calm down, Gintoki!
[12:11] Zura
We don't have any chance
of outrunning a bear!
[12:13] Zura
The correct course of action
is to play dead!
[12:15] Gin
You're gonna be dead for real!
[12:17] Toshi
Idiot!
[12:19] Toshi
That's just an urban legend!
[12:21] Toshi
Stare the bear right in its
eyes and slowly back away!
[12:23] Toshi
If you turn your back, it'll...
[12:25] Okita
Oh?
[12:26] Okita
That's no good, Hijikata-san.
You need to watch your rear.
[12:30] Okita
I thought you were a bear and stabbed you.
[12:34] Toshi
Shit, there was someone else I
didn't want to turn my back on...
[12:39] Kagura
Hey.
[12:41] Kagura
You should probably play dead.
[12:45] Okita
D-Damn you...
[12:47] Shin
What are you people doing?!
[12:49] Shin
This isn't the time to fight among ourselves!
[12:51] Otae
Shin-chan! Look out!
[12:52] Otae
The bear's coming for you!
[12:58] Otae
Shin-chan!
[13:11] Otae
Shin-chan!
[13:21] Shogun
Are you all right?
[13:23] Shin
Huh?
[13:24] Shogun
It appears that everyone survived.
[13:27] Shin
Th-Th-That voice...
[13:29] Shin
C-Could it be?!
[13:33] Shogun
It is I. The great Shogun,
[13:36] ---
Shigeshige Tokugawa.
[13:44] Otae
Shin-chan!
[13:45] Otae
Are you okay, Shin-chan?
[13:47] Otae
Shin-chan!
[13:50] Kondo
Man, the Shogun is really something.
[13:52] Kondo
He was able to find this cabin
on his own and take shelter.
[13:57] Kondo
I was floundering around in
the snow when he saved me.
[14:01] Kondo
Can't tell who's protecting who.
[14:04] Kondo
I have failed as a warrior.
[14:06] Kondo
I am prepared to slice open my belly.
[14:09] Kondo
But now that the Shogun has saved my life,
[14:12] Kondo
I must devote myself to ensuring
that the Shogun returns safely.
[14:20] Kondo
What?! The Shogun!
[14:24] Kondo
What happened?!
[14:25] Kondo
What happened to the Shogun?!
[14:27] Kondo
And why are you all so beat up?!
[14:30] Toshi
U-Uh, Kondo-san. You see...
[14:34] Gin
We were attacked by Bigfoot and chupacabras.
[14:37] Kondo
Huh?
[14:37] Gin
We tried to fight back, but...
[14:40] Gin
Damn those UMA! I'll make them pay!
[14:42] Kondo
UMA?! That's impossible!
[14:44] Kagura
It's true!
[14:45] Kagura
It was all the UMA's fault!
[14:47] Kagura
Right, Sho-chan?
[14:48] Zura
Yup, leader.
[14:50] Kondo
Damn those UMA!
[14:52] Kondo
Shogun, hang in there!
[14:55] Kondo
Shogun!
[14:57] Shogun
Where am I?
[14:59] Shogun
Why am I here?
[15:01] Kondo
H-Hey!
[15:02] Kondo
His memory's been damaged!
[15:05] Shogun
K-Kondo, what's happened?
[15:08] Shogun
Why am I here?
[15:09] Gin
Lord Shogun, have you forgotten?
[15:11] Gin
These idiots brought you to
the mountains to hunt UMA.
[15:15] Gin
But while we were following
Bigfoot's footsteps,
[15:18] Gin
we ran into a blizzard and got split up.
[15:20] Gin
We all got stranded for playing along
with this farce of yours.
[15:24] Shogun
I can't believe this.
[15:26] Shogun
I've put the lives of my people in
danger to satisfy an irrational whim.
[15:30] Kondo
No, that's not what happened!
[15:32] Shogun
I am not qualified to rule.
[15:36] Shogun
Heavens! If this storm is
meant as my punishment,
[15:41] Shogun
I offer my meager life as appeasement!
[15:44] Zura
Sure, Shogun.
[15:45] Kondo
This wasn't your fault, Lord Shogun!
[15:48] Kondo
Amateurs can't predict the weather!
[15:52] Kondo
In any case, we should be glad
that we're all together now.
[15:55] Kondo
Help is bound to come.
[15:57] Kondo
But you will have to put up
with this dirty shack for now.
[16:00] Gin
Hey, how's that?
[16:02] Gin
I've managed to cover up all your crimes.
[16:04] Gin
Make sure you get me a reward out of this.
[16:07] Kondo
Most of those crimes were yours, not ours!
[16:09] Kondo
And none of them have been resolved yet!
[16:18] Toshi
Listen up, guys.
[16:19] Toshi
We can't do anything until
this blizzard stops.
[16:22] Toshi
We'll probably do more harm than good
[16:24] ---
by going outside, so sit
tight and wait for help.
[16:27] Toshi
But this shack is nothing more
than four shabby walls.
[16:29] Toshi
It's just as cold inside as it is outside.
[16:31] Toshi
If you fall asleep, you'll die.
[16:33] Toshi
We need to huddle together for warmth.
[16:34] Toshi
Yell when you see someone nodding off.
[16:36] Okita
How are we supposed to huddle together?
[16:40] Toshi
We'll stand with our backs facing
each other, to pool our body heat.
[16:44] Toshi
The center will be the warmest.
[16:46] Toshi
The Shogun will go there.
[16:48] Toshi
Then we have the girls and kids.
[16:49] Toshi
The men will be on the outside.
[16:52] Toshi
Okay, first we'll have the
girls stand next to the Shogun.
[16:57] Gin
Hey, the Shogun's getting excited.
[17:00] Gin
He's got something dirty in mind.
[17:02] Toshi
Hey, what are they doing?
[17:04] Toshi
Why are they whispering in the corner?
[17:05] Toshi
Hurry up!
[17:06] Kagura
Doesn't it smell?
[17:07] Kagura
Like a wash rag drenched in spoiled milk.
[17:11] Otae
Kagura-chan, you shouldn't say that.
[17:13] Toshi
I'm hearing some really nasty comments!
[17:16] Kagura
But you're starting to tear up, boss lady.
[17:19] Otae
Stop that, Kagura-chan.
[17:21] Otae
Some things aren't meant
to be said out loud...
[17:23] Toshi
Yeah, and you're saying them out loud!
[17:26] Toshi
The Shogun can hear everything you're saying!
[17:28] Otae
Um, I believe that the smell is
coming from the fur he's wearing.
[17:32] Otae
I believe that he found it in this cabin.
[17:35] Otae
Could you ask him to take it off?
[17:37] Toshi
I can't do that!
[17:39] Toshi
We're trying to stay warm!
[17:41] Toshi
Except he already took it off!
[17:43] Toshi
The Shogun has changed his objective!
[17:45] Toshi
He's seeking a different kind of warmth!
[17:47] Toshi
Hey, the Shogun took off that fur.
[17:50] Toshi
Get going.
[17:51] Gin
Hey, hold on.
[17:52] Gin
Doesn't it stink?
[17:54] Toshi
Why are you joining in?!
[17:56] Toshi
He already took off the fur!
[17:57] Gin
Are you sure that the smell
was coming from the fur?
[18:00] Gin
I think the smell's gotten worse.
[18:02] Kagura
I think this is a completely different smell.
[18:05] Toshi
Just stop already!
[18:06] Toshi
The Shogun's wearing
nothing but his underwear!
[18:07] Toshi
What could possibly stink?!
[18:08] Kondo
The Shogun is pretending to stretch
while checking if his armpits smell!
[18:11] Kondo
Stop! Don't hurt him anymore!
[18:14] Gin
That must be the source.
[18:16] Gin
Must have been all stuffed up under that fur.
[18:19] Gin
We'll have to ask him to take it off.
[18:21] Toshi
Don't be ridiculous!
[18:22] Toshi
It would be suicide to stand naked
in the middle of a blizzard!
[18:25] Toshi
Shogun!
[18:26] Toshi
You don't even have an heir yet?!
[18:28] Kagura
That's gross. I don't wanna go near him.
[18:30] Toshi
Want me to kill you?!
[18:32] Toshi
He took everything off because
you kept complaining!
[18:35] Toshi
Now huddle together!
[18:36] Toshi
The Shogun needs some warmth
for his body and heart!
[18:39] Okita
Stop your whining.
[18:41] Okita
We don't have time to gripe about
bad smells or grotesque objects.
[18:45] Shin
That's rude.
[18:46] Shin
Don't you have any tact?
[18:48] Okita
Fine.
[18:48] Okita
We'll go first.
[18:50] Toshi
Oh, that works.
[18:51] Toshi
I don't care who's first, just go!
[18:53] Shin
I can't smell anything.
[18:56] Shin
It's just a man's odor...
[18:58] Kondo
Lord Shogun! Have them executed!
[19:01] Okita
S-Sorry, China girl...
[19:04] Kagura
It's fine if you understand now.
[19:06] Toshi
It's not fine!
[19:07] Toshi
Why are the two of you
agreeing now of all times?!
[19:09] Okita
Don't worry.
[19:11] Okita
We can't huddle together if he's naked,
[19:14] Okita
so let's find him some new clothes.
[19:16] Kagura
And they'll help to cover the smell.
[19:18] Toshi
Hey!
[19:19] Toshi
You've reduced the Shogun to a dress-up doll!
[19:23] Okita
How's this?
[19:24] Toshi
What are you trying to cover?!
[19:26] Toshi
Why is he wearing nothing but a turtleneck?!
[19:28] Toshi
The place that really needs to
be covered is still exposed!
[19:30] Toshi
And why does this remind me of
a plastic surgery commercial?!
[19:34] Okita
That particular region has its
own turtleneck already.
[19:37] Toshi
Why are you grinning like an idiot?
[19:39] Toshi
That wasn't funny!
[19:40] Kondo
That settles it.
[19:41] Kondo
The adults will have to get things going.
[19:44] Zura
Change the plan so we
stand next to the Shogun,
[19:48] Zura
while the girls and kids are outside.
[19:50] Zura
Here's a diagram.
[19:52] Toshi
Why is the censor pointing towards me?!
[19:55] Gin
Somebody has to do it.
[19:57] Gin
Don't you specialize in doing the
dirty work, Shinsengumi Vice Chief?
[20:01] Toshi
This is too dirty!
[20:02] Gin
Stop bitching and start
warming the Shogun's Shogun!
[20:08] Toshi
This is all your fault!
[20:09] Toshi
You should take responsibility!
[20:13] Gin
Zura!
[20:13] Gin
This is your chance to defeat the Bakufu!
[20:15] Zura
He's already limp!
[20:18] Zura
Shinsengumi!
[20:19] Zura
You should be ashamed of yourselves
for exposing your leader!
[20:22] Kondo
Toshi!
[20:23] Toshi
Curly hair!
[20:24] Gin
-Zura!
[20:24] Zura
-Shinsengumi!
[20:26] Kondo
Toshi!
[20:27] Toshi
Curly hair!
[20:35] Toshi
Hey! Wait!
[20:36] Kondo
Look out!
[20:42] A
Hmm? What's that?!
[20:45] B
Hey! Look at that!
[20:49] Yama
Something's... Something's rising in the sky!
[20:52] A
Is that an SOS signal from
Kondo-san and the others?!
[20:56] Yama
Hold on!
[20:57] Yama
That's...
[21:00] Yama
The Shogun?
[21:19] Toshi
We're warm now.
[21:32] A
Hey, look at him!
[21:34] A
Damn, he's so cool!
[21:37] B
He's airborne!
[21:39] B
Awesome!
[21:40] D
What? Is he a pro or something?
[21:42] Both
Huh?
[21:44] Matsu
Yes, hello?
[21:46] Matsu
Good work.
[21:49] Matsu
I guess I put you through a lot of trouble.
[21:51] Matsu
Yeah, he's completely hooked,
so we're back again today.
[21:56] Matsu
But I have one question.
[22:05] Matsu
Is that how snowboarding works?
SIGN Next Episode: There are some things you should not forget when drinking away the past year at year-end parties.
[23:40] Gin
Next time:
[23:41] Gin
There are some things you should not forget
[23:43] Gin
when drinking away the past
year at year-end parties.
SIGN We're already halfway through December. For grown-ups, this is the season for forgetting.
SIGN Drink alcohol, but don't let alcohol get the better of you. Gin-san gets drunk and makes a huge mistake?!
E239 - You know those year-end parties where you keep drinking until you've forgotten everything that happened the past year? There are a few things you're not supposed to forget
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN We're approaching the end of another year so let's look back at this year's Gintama anime!!
SIGN ...By drinking!!
SIGN You know those year-end parties where you keep drinking until you've forgotten everything that happened the past year? There are a few things you're not supposed to forget.
[01:47] All
Here's to another year!
[01:50] Shin
Yeah, another year's gone by.
[01:52] Shin
That was so fast.
[01:53] Kagura
Not surprising. A lot happened this year.
[01:56] Kagura
A Gintama recompilation,
producer P making noise,
[01:59] Kagura
more incidents than I can count.
[02:01] Shin
We're the only ones who
would remember any of that.
[02:03] Shin
Well, it was a rough time,
[02:04] ---
but we can look back now and laugh about the memories.
[02:07] Shin
Let's do our best again next year, Gin-san.
[02:10] Gin
Don't start celebrating!
[02:12] Kagura
What was that for, Gin-chan?
[02:14] Gin
Why are you fools acting like
the year's already over?
[02:18] Shin
Uh, isn't that what this party is for?
[02:19] Gin
Haven't you heard the saying that if
you want to make it a hundred leagues,
[02:22] Gin
consider ninety leagues the halfway point?
[02:23] Gin
Sure, we're still on the air,
[02:26] Gin
but if we get too excited and screw up,
[02:28] ---
this show will kick the can.
[02:30] Gin
We must be extremely careful
as we take the last step.
[02:35] Shin
S-Sorry...
[02:37] Shin
I guess I was a little too excited.
[02:39] Kagura
I'm impressed, Gin-chan.
[02:41] Kagura
You can stay cool at a year-end party.
[02:43] Gin
Now I'll play this tape so we can listen
[02:45] ---
to some cool and have a cool party.
[02:53] Gin
Sorry about hitting you, Shinpachi.
[02:56] Gin
Try to control yourself.
[02:58] Shin
Yes!
[02:58] Gin
Then I'll pour you some tea.
SIGN Oolong Tea
[03:00] Shin
Hey! You're about to get us pulled off air!
[03:04] Shin
Hey! Are you already drunk?!
[03:06] Shin
Everyone says that you shouldn't
let alcohol get the better of you.
[03:08] Gin
It's okay.
[03:09] Gin
I need to drink a lot more before
I start doing anything stupid.
[03:13] Otose
Oh, you already started?
[03:15] Otose
That's cold.
[03:16] Gin
Oh, there you are!
[03:18] Gin
Hey, bring more booze! Put it on Otose's tab!
[03:21] Otose
Nobody gave you permission to do that, Curly!
[03:23] Kyubei
No, the Yagyu will pick up the bill.
[03:25] Otae
You shouldn't spoil them.
[03:27] Otae
Um, the man with sunglasses
will work off the bill.
[03:30] Madao
Yes! I have a job!
[03:33] Shin
Is Gin-san really okay?
[03:35] Kagura
He only gets to drink
himself silly once a year.
[03:38] Shin
I hope nothing happens.
[03:48] Gin
Ow...
[03:50] Gin
What happened yesterday?
[03:53] Gin
No good. Can't remember.
[03:55] Gin
And where am I?
[03:57] Gin
Why am I naked?
[04:04] Gin
Hey, what is this?
[04:07] Gin
No way.
[04:07] Gin
Wait, no way.
[04:08] Gin
Really?
[04:09] Gin
Wait, does this mean...
[04:11] Gin
I passed the critical point in a Jump show!
[04:14] Gin
I've made a huge mistake,
because I was drunk...
SIGN Indecent behavior at 6 PM!! I was drunk...
[04:18] Gin
If... If the PTA finds out, we're finished!
[04:21] Gin
C-Calm down.
[04:22] Gin
Remember what happened yesterday.
[04:25] Gin
It's possible that nothing happened.
[04:27] Gin
Nope! Unfortunately, I
can't remember a thing!
[04:29] Gin
Wait, I don't have time for that.
[04:32] Gin
Who is this?
[04:33] Gin
I can't remember that either!
[04:34] Gin
Hopefully, it isn't anyone I know.
[04:36] Gin
Please!
[04:50] Gin
F-Forget the critical point!
[04:52] Gin
I've left the atmosphere!
[05:03] Gin
U-Uh, sorry...
[05:06] Gin
I-I can't remember anything...
[05:08] Gin
Why am I apologizing?!
[05:10] Gin
Why am I acting all nice?! That's disgusting!
[05:12] Otose
R-Really. I can't remember anything either.
[05:14] Gin
Why isn't she looking at me?
[05:16] Gin
Why is she acting like a woman?!
[05:18] Gin
Stop it, Gran!
[05:19] Gin
Don't play dumb!
[05:21] Otose
That's perfect.
[05:23] Otose
Neither of us remembers.
[05:26] Otose
Nothing happened.
[05:27] Otose
I can accept that.
[05:29] Otose
Let's just forget about this.
[05:32] Gin
I can't just forget about this crazy event!
[05:36] Gin
Yeah, sorry about this.
[05:38] Gin
Why am I still apologizing?!
[05:39] Gin
I just sound like a creep!
[05:42] Otose
Stop it, you sound weird.
[05:44] Otose
Besides, it's entirely possible
that nothing actually happened.
[05:47] Gin
Th-That's true.
[05:49] Gin
We both got drunk and fell
asleep in the same bed.
[05:52] Otose
W-We should be heading home.
[05:54] Otose
They might be starting to worry about us.
[05:57] Otose
Oh, but we should probably
go home separately.
[05:59] Otose
Don't want anyone to get the wrong idea.
[06:02] Otose
S-See you later.
[06:03] Gin
Why are we acting like this
is some kind of office tryst?!
[06:14] Gin
I feel sick! I feel sick!
[06:17] Gin
I can't tell if it's because I'm hung
over or because I did something nasty!
[06:21] Gin
Why did this happen?!
[06:22] Gin
I should have listened
to Shinpachi's warning!
[06:25] Shin
Everyone says that you shouldn't
let alcohol get the better of you.
[06:28] Gin
It's only been one day, but
now they seem so far away!
[06:33] Gin
Feels like it's been ages since
we were Odd Jobs together!
[06:36] Gin
Can I no longer go back to
being the normal person I was?
[06:40] Gin
How am I supposed to act
when I walk in the door?
SIGN Snack Otose
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan Snack Otose
[06:43] Gin
And how much do they know?
[06:46] Gin
Damn! I can't go home!
[06:48] Tama
Welcome back.
[06:50] Tama
Were you out all night, Master Gintoki?
[06:52] Gin
I-I wasn't out all night!
[06:54] Tama
But it's already morning.
[06:55] Gin
Y-Yes, but don't make it sound so dirty!
[06:57] Gin
U-Uh, when I woke up, I
was next to a dumpster.
[07:01] Gin
G-Guess I had too much to drink.
[07:03] Tama
I never asked for an explanation.
[07:05] Tama
Actually, Lady Otose just
returned and told me that
[07:07] ---
she woke up next to a dumpster.
[07:09] Gin
W-We weren't sleeping next
to the same dumpster!
[07:11] Gin
We were in completely different places!
[07:13] Gin
We weren't sleeping together!
Don't get the wrong idea!
[07:16] Tama
What do you mean by that?
[07:19] Gin
Uh, er, well...
[07:21] Gin
Damn, I feel sick again!
[07:24] Tama
Get a hold of yourself.
[07:26] Tama
How many more bars did you visit?
[07:28] Gin
W-Well, I actually can't remember.
[07:31] Gin
What happened?
[07:34] Tama
Lady Kagura said that she was sleepy,
[07:37] Tama
so Master Shinpachi took her
home after the second bar.
[07:40] Tama
Lady Catherine keeled over at the third bar,
[07:43] Tama
so I carried her home.
[07:45] Tama
Everyone was very drunk at this point.
[07:48] Gin
I see. Who stayed behind?
[07:50] Tama
Lady Otose, Lady Otae, Lady
Kyubei, and Master Hasegawa.
[07:54] Tama
At the third bar, you ran into the ninjas.
[07:58] Tama
And the fourth bar was going to be in Yoshiwara.
[08:01] Gin
A-Anyway, Shinpachi and Kagura
don't know what happened.
[08:05] Gin
So I only need to worry about the adults.
SIGN Snack Otose
[08:07] Gin
It's possible that they were all so drunk
that they can't remember anything, so what do I do?
[08:09] Gin
Should I ask them?
[08:11] Tama
Master Gintoki?
[08:12] Gin
Either way, I can't go home before
I've figured out what happened.
[08:14] Gin
I need to find out if I'm clean.
[08:16] Gin
But if I'm not, I still can't go home.
SIGN Kodokan Dojo
[08:20] Gin
Excuse me!
[08:22] Otae
Yes?
[08:24] Otae
G-Gin-san.
[08:25] Gin
Oh, yesterday was a lot of fun.
[08:27] Gin
I was wondering if Shinpachi made it home.
[08:30] Gin
H-How are you doing?
[08:31] Gin
You were pretty drunk.
[08:34] Gin
Hey, why did you turn around?
[08:36] Otae
N-Not really. My job requires
me to drink all the time.
[08:39] Gin
Why won't she look at my face?
[08:41] Gin
Hey, she definitely knows something!
[08:43] Gin
She knows that Gran and I did the deed?!
[08:45] Gin
So something actually happened?!
[08:47] Otae
Um, I don't mind.
[08:50] Otae
It was the alcohol.
[08:52] Otae
Just a lapse in judgment.
[08:54] Otae
Let's forget it ever happened.
[08:56] Otae
It was a one night mistake.
[08:58] Gin
You liar! You obviously
remember what happened!
[09:01] Otae
I won't tell Shin-chan.
[09:03] Gin
W-Wait!
[09:04] Gin
I can't remember anything from yesterday.
[09:07] Gin
So I don't know what actually happened.
[09:09] Otae
You can't remember?
[09:13] Gin
Debris!
[09:16] Otae
Y-You violated a girl's,
[09:18] Otae
violated my honor, and you can't remember?!
[09:22] Otae
That's despicable!
[09:24] Otae
So it really was just the alcohol.
[09:27] Otae
I didn't think you were such a creep!
[09:29] Otae
Never show your face around here again!
[09:32] Gin
Violated my honor?
[09:34] Gin
What does that mean?
[09:35] Gin
Huh? Doesn't she mean Gran's honor?
[09:37] Gin
But Gran doesn't have
any honor left anywhere.
[09:40] Gin
Huh?
[09:43] Gin
What?!
[09:45] Gin
Kyubei-kun! Please come out!
[09:48] Gin
So I slept with Gran and Otae?!
[09:51] Gin
Could you please open the
door? It can't be true!
[09:53] ---
I don't believe it! I refuse to believe it!
[09:56] Gin
Kyubei-kun!
[09:57] Gin
I have a question!
[09:58] Gin
What happened at the fourth bar?
[10:01] Tojo
We welcome the next lord of
the Yagyu, Master Gintoki!
[10:06] Gin
What did you say?
[10:07] Tojo
I am so grateful!
[10:09] Tojo
Last night, you were able to convince our
[10:11] ---
lady to give up her desire to become a man!
[10:13] Tojo
She was crying in her room this morning,
[10:17] Tojo
but she just made her decision!
[10:20] Tojo
Our lady has accepted her
role as our princess!
[10:24] Kyubei
After what happened last night,
[10:26] ---
I have no choice but to live as a woman.
[10:29] Kyubei
Gintoki, you must take responsibility.
[10:31] Tojo
Ah! Where are you going?!
[10:34] Tojo
After him!
[10:36] Sa
So sorry, Yagyu-san!
[10:38] Sa
The phantom thief Koikage
has stolen your groom!
[10:41] Sa
We were a team long before you ever met him!
[10:45] Sa
What did he steal?
[10:47] Sa
That should be obvious.
[10:48] Sa
My precious virgi-
[10:50] A
Runny Diarrhea hit her with his poop!
[10:53] Tojo
They fell down!
[10:54] Tojo
Capture Master Gintoki!
[10:58] Gin
What's going on?!
[10:59] Gin
What have I done?!
[11:01] A
Look, it's a procession of courtesans.
[11:04] A
She's a real beauty!
[11:05] B
But I don't recognize her.
[11:08] B
She hasn't been around.
[11:10] B
I heard that she's going to leave Yoshiwara.
[11:12] B
A woman like her must have been expensive.
[11:19] Tsu
Two hundred million.
[11:20] Tsu
Work hard to pay it off.
[11:22] Gin
H-How many mistakes did I make in one night?!
[11:27] Gin
This is a lie!
[11:28] Gin
I can't remember any of these?!
[11:31] Gin
Ha-Hasegawa-san!
[11:33] Gin
What did I do yesterday?!
[11:34] Madao
Get drunk and forget it ever happened.
[11:36] Madao
I'll do the same.
[11:39] Madao
Last night never happened.
[11:42] Gin
Y-You too...
[11:47] Zenzo
Eh, you should be fine.
[11:50] Zenzo
I can't remember what happened,
[11:52] Zenzo
but everyone was completely drunk.
[11:54] Zenzo
And the hostess girl was feeling sick,
[11:58] ---
so you took her to the restroom.
[12:01] Zenzo
Ten minutes or so passed.
[12:04] Zenzo
Then you finally came back and
said that she had gone home.
[12:08] Zenzo
I remember you looked happy for some reason.
[12:11] Zenzo
Then the eye patch girl was feeling sick,
[12:15] ---
so you helped her and came back happy.
[12:19] Zenzo
The same thing happened with Sarutobi.
[12:21] Zenzo
But in the Yoshiwara lady's
case, she dragged you outside.
[12:26] Zenzo
Ten minutes later, you came back in
tears with your clothes shredded.
[12:30] Zenzo
And when you went off with the
sunglasses guy, you took a lot longer.
[12:33] Zenzo
Twenty minutes, I think.
[12:35] Zenzo
And once the sun rose, you carried
the drunk old lady off somewhere.
[12:41] Gin
How is that fine?!
[12:43] Gin
Am I Dr. Dolittle?!
[12:45] Zenzo
Considering you carried off that
old lady, I'd have to agree.
[12:48] Zenzo
You must be a real animal lover.
[12:51] Gin
And I was actually victimized once!
[12:54] Gin
And why was Hasegawa-san twenty minutes?!
[12:57] Zenzo
The second time must have been too much.
[12:59] Gin
Bastard!
[13:00] Gin
You should have stopped me!
[13:03] Gin
What do we do now?!
[13:04] Gin
A different show will be airing
in this slot in January!
[13:07] Zenzo
Calm down.
[13:08] Zenzo
There's nothing wrong with doing the deed.
[13:11] Zenzo
It's only wrong when you have no
intention of taking responsibility.
[13:16] Zenzo
Everything depends on how you behave now.
[13:18] Zenzo
So man up.
SIGN Tenny's
[13:20] Otose
Huh?!
[13:21] Otose
You want to start a serious relationship
that might lead to marriage?!
[13:24] Otose
What are you talking about?!
[13:25] Otose
Did you hit your head on something?
You're making me sick.
[13:27] Gin
I'm the one who feels sick.
[13:29] Gin
W-Well, I did some thinking,
[13:31] Gin
and you know how I said I
didn't remember anything?
[13:34] Gin
I was actually lying.
[13:36] Otae
Oh? So you were fully aware
of what you were doing?
[13:40] Gin
So, I'm saying that I'm going
to take responsibility.
[13:45] Tojo
Really? When you ran away,
I was prepared to kill you.
[13:49] Tojo
Princess, Master Gintoki is
prepared to lead the Yagyu!
[13:53] Gin
Y-Yeah, but you know?
[13:55] Gin
We can't just get married on the spot.
[13:57] ---
We should take this one step at a time.
[13:58] Sa
After jumping right into bed with me?!
[14:02] Sa
Are you toying with me?!
[14:04] Gin
N-No, I'm very serious,
[14:06] Gin
but I was thinking that you need time
[14:08] ---
to consider how you feel about me.
[14:10] Tsu
I've already made up my mind.
[14:13] Tsu
First, you need to fork
over two hundred million.
[14:15] Tsu
That money will be spent on bodyguards
for Yoshiwara after I'm gone.
[14:17] Gin
W-We can talk about money some other time!
[14:20] Gin
Anyway, are you sure you want to be with me?!
[14:22] Gin
I'm dirt poor!
[14:23] Gin
Are you sure about this?
[14:25] Madao
I wouldn't mind falling to the
bottom of society with you.
[14:29] Madao
That's how I feel now.
[14:32] Gin
They're all interested for some reason!
[14:34] Zenzo
I see.
[14:35] Zenzo
I was thinking that you could scare some
[14:38] ---
of them off by getting too serious.
[14:41] Gin
How am I getting serious?!
[14:42] Gin
I'm a six-timing bastard! I'm a sleazebag!
[14:45] Zenzo
That was already true when you
slept with six people in one night.
[14:49] Zenzo
Well, this is kind of
similar to Strawberry 100%.
[14:52] Gin
I don't remember Strawberry 100%
having an old lady and an old man!
[14:56] Gin
That would make for some traumatic images!
[14:58] Gin
Fanservice 0%!
[15:00] Gin
If they find out I'm a six-timing bastard,
I'll be ripped apart in six directions.
[15:03] Gin
I should apologize now.
[15:06] Zenzo
You think they'll let Bunta-san
get away with that?
[15:08] Zenzo
If they find out, they'll kill you.
[15:09] Zenzo
If you apologize, they'll kill you.
[15:11] Zenzo
There's only one way to survive.
[15:13] Zenzo
Take responsibility by going
out with all six of them
[15:16] Zenzo
without the others finding out.
[15:18] Zenzo
If they get sick of you
and leave, you're free.
[15:22] Zenzo
It's a short-term strategy.
[15:24] Zenzo
I'm willing to help.
[15:26] Otose
What?! Live together?!
[15:27] Gin
Y-Yeah... We might get married,
so this is like a dry run.
[15:32] Otose
Why do you keep pushing on ahead?!
[15:34] Otose
You're making me sick!
[15:35] Gin
We won't really know each other
until we've lived together.
[15:39] Gin
If you get sick of me, go ahead and leave.
[15:42] Otae
But this place would be too
small for the three of us.
[15:44] Gin
Who's the third person?
[15:46] Otae
Shin-chan.
[15:46] ---
And there would also be
Kagura-chan and Sadaharu-kun.
[15:48] Gin
That would be a bad idea!
[15:51] Gin
We might be living together, but
we still have our own lives.
[15:54] Gin
So just drop by when you can.
[15:55] Gin
We'll keep this our secret until I've
straightened everything out with the others.
[15:58] Tojo
That makes sense!
[15:59] Tojo
Then the princess will
take Tuesday and Thursday,
[16:00] Tojo
while I take Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!
[16:03] Gin
Why are you here every day?!
[16:05] Gin
I'll be at Odd Jobs during the day,
[16:07] Gin
but I'll try to be here every night.
[16:10] Sa
You're only coming back at night?!
[16:12] Sa
Does that mean you're only after my body?!
[16:15] Gin
I can probably just ignore her.
[16:18] Gin
D-Don't get the wrong idea.
[16:20] Gin
I don't have anything dirty in mind.
[16:23] Tsu
Do as you please.
[16:25] Tsu
We can get lotioned up
and two hundred million.
[16:29] Tsu
Or you can two hundred
million between my boobies.
[16:31] Tsu
Or two hundred million inside me.
[16:34] Tsu
Take your pick.
[16:35] Gin
I don't get to choose anything!
[16:37] Gin
You just want your two hundred million!
[16:39] Gin
Anyway, I'll pay the rent,
[16:41] Gin
so let's not talk about money again.
[16:47] Gin
Hey! The situation has clearly gotten worse!
[16:51] Zenzo
Couples that live together usually
end up not getting married.
[16:54] Zenzo
Think about it.
[16:55] Zenzo
Who would want to spend their life with
you after seeing how you normally behave?
[16:58] Gin
That doesn't mean we should put
all six of them in one house!
[17:01] Zenzo
Don't be picky.
[17:03] Zenzo
This happens to be an
apartment my old man runs.
[17:05] Zenzo
You can work it out.
[17:06] Gin
Hey, are you really trying to help me?
[17:09] Gin
Are you sure you're not
just playing with me?!
[17:11] Zenzo
Don't worry.
[17:12] ---
My favorite Jump series is the romantic comedy To Love-Ru Darkness!
[17:16] Gin
That doesn't make me feel better!
[17:17] Gin
You're going to turn this show
into To Love-Ru Darkness!
[17:20] Otae
What? I shouldn't go outside?
[17:22] Otae
But then I can't go shopping or cook.
[17:27] Gin
Well, it's pretty dangerous these days.
[17:28] Gin
I can do the shopping.
[17:30] Otae
Are you worried about me?
[17:32] Gin
O-Of course I am!
[17:34] Gin
If a pretty girl like you goes
outside, the men will all jump you!
[17:37] Otae
Please, Gin-san!
[17:40] Otae
But it's a housewife's duty to go shopping.
[17:43] Otae
I've made up my mind.
[17:44] Otae
We're only together because of an accident,
[17:46] Otae
but I'll do my best to support you.
[17:50] Sa
Welcome home, Darling!
[17:52] Sa
Would you like dinner?
[17:53] Sa
Would you like a bath?
[17:54] Sa
Or would you like me?!
[17:58] Otae
Oh, no. There's a hole in the wall.
[18:00] Otae
I'm sorry, Gin-san. Are you okay?
[18:02] Otae
You're sweating so much.
[18:04] Otae
Was our neighbor angry?
[18:05] Otae
I should go apologize!
[18:06] Gin
It's okay! I just apologized!
[18:08] Otae
But I should apologize in person!
[18:10] Gin
I said that it's okay!
[18:11] Gin
The neighbor's kind of
scary, so I got nervous.
[18:13] Gin
You shouldn't go outside!
[18:15] Gin
That person was clearly a deviant.
[18:16] ---
This neighborhood is dangerous!
[18:18] Otae
Oh, dear. How frightening.
[18:20] Otae
But that scary neighbor
must have forgiven us
[18:23] ---
because I paid my respects.
[18:26] Gin
Paid your respects?!
[18:26] Gin
Y-You visited everyone?
[18:29] Otae
Yes, but nobody was home,
so I left a present.
[18:33] Gin
What kind of present?
[18:36] Otae
What was that? It came
from the room next door.
[18:39] Otae
Um, are you okay?
[18:41] Gin
Why are you opening a hole
in the wall when you knock?!
[18:44] Otae
Well, I thought this would be faster.
[18:46] Gin
That's not the problem!
[18:48] Gin
Wait! We don't know what's
wrong, so I'll check!
[18:53] Gin
Kyubei! What's wrong?!
[18:55] Kyu
That voice belongs to Gintoki...
[18:58] Kyu
Welcome home...
[18:59] Gin
Save that for later! What happened?!
SIGN We just moved next door. I made a little too much, so please have some.
[19:01] Kyu
There were sesame buns by the door.
[19:03] Kyu
But it turns out that they were poisoned.
[19:05] Kyu
I'm getting heartburn.
[19:07] Gin
No, that was made by your beloved Otae!
[19:10] Gin
You fool!
[19:11] Gin
A rich person shouldn't need to eat
food that's been on the ground!
[19:13] Otae
Gin-san, is everything okay?
[19:16] Kyu
I just heard Tae-chan's voice...
[19:17] Gin
You're hearing things now?! Hang on!
[19:19] Kyu
I see, it was my imagination.
[19:21] Kyu
So I still can't forget about Tae-chan...
[19:24] Gin
D-Don't worry about it.
[19:26] Gin
Anyway, if she makes any more
noise, the others will find out.
[19:28] Gin
I need to shut her up.
[19:30] Gin
H-Hold on. I'll help you throw it up.
[19:34] Kyu
Don't touch me!
[19:39] Gin
I-I'm home.
[19:41] Tsu
Hey, the door is over there.
[19:43] Gin
Oops, I screwed up.
[19:45] Kyu
Gintoki, are you okay?
[19:47] Kyu
Sorry, I moved without thinking.
[19:48] Kyu
Wait, I'll pull you out.
[19:49] Tsu
You fool.
[19:50] Tsu
What are you doing?
[19:52] Tsu
Come on now.
[19:52] Tsu
Dinner's getting cold.
[19:54] Gin
Ow! Ow! Ow!
[19:56] Gin
You're ripping apart my body!
[19:58] Gin
Hold on!
[20:01] Gin
I'll never get out if they both pull!
[20:03] Gin
Push! Please push!
[20:04] Both
Push?
[20:08] Tsuku
Hey, Gintoki!
[20:10] Both
Hold on! I'll circle
around to the other side!
[20:12] Gin
Wait!
[20:14] Gin
If they circle around,
they'll see each other!
[20:17] Gin
This is good enough.
[20:18] Gin
Let's have dinner.
[20:20] Gin
I'm starving.
[20:22] Tsuku
You must really want to eat my food.
[20:24] Kyu
D-Dinner?
[20:26] Kyu
But how am I supposed to feed you?
[20:29] Gin
Just bring me my dinner!
[20:32] Gin
Okay, this is my chance!
[20:33] Gin
No good! My waist hurts so much that
I don't have any strength left!
[20:40] Tsuku
You see, I'm not much of a cook,
[20:42] Tsuku
but I know how to use a hot pot.
[20:44] Gin
How am I supposed to eat this?!
[20:47] Gin
Am I supposed to be Goemon?!
[20:48] Tsuku
I made it sweet, the way you like it.
[20:51] Tsuku
Enjoy.
[20:52] Gin
Enjoy, my ass!
[20:53] Gin
You're clearly cooking me to eat!
[20:56] Kyu
I tried making curry, but it
might be a little too spicy.
[21:00] Kyu
I don't know if it will suit your palate.
[21:02] Kyu
And where is your palate?
[21:03] Tojo
Since it's curry, it
should go here, Princess.
[21:11] Tojo
Oh! Look, Princess!
[21:12] Tojo
He's dancing with joy!
[21:15] Kyu
That's good. He may have a sweet
tooth, but curry should be spicy.
[21:19] Tsuku
Don't be in such a rush. Nobody's
going to take your food.
[21:21] Tsuku
I'm glad that I made it sweet.
[21:23] Gin
I don't even know what's spicy or sweet!
[21:26] Gin
Hey! I'm gonna die!
[21:27] Tsuku
What?
[21:28] Kyu
It's to die for?
[21:29] Tsu
Really, you like it so much? Have some more.
[21:32] Tsu
There's plenty more left!
[21:35] Tojo
Princess! Feed him more!
[21:37] Tojo
This is how a married couple bonds!
[21:48] Otose
Oh, are you hungry?
[21:52] Otose
Here, have some.
[21:56] Otose
Okay, time for work.
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Next Episode: People Can Only Live By Forgetting the Bad
[23:40] Gin
Next time:
[23:41] Gin
People can only live by forgetting the bad.
SIGN Gintoki has passed the critical point, and his troubles have only begun!!
SIGN Now he must go on a date with everyone at the same time!! This can't go well!!
E240 - People can only live by forgetting the bad
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN After getting drunk at the year-end party, Gintoki discovers that he passed the critical point with six people in one night!!
SIGN Zenzo suggests that Gintoki live with all of them at the same time. Can Gintoki take responsibility for his actions? Does he even want to?!
SIGN People Can Only Live By Forgetting the Bad
[01:48] Zen
What's with the look on your face?
[01:50] Zen
You can't handle taking responsibility
for all six of them?
[01:53] Madao
What does he mean, all six of them?!
[01:56] Gin
Each of them is the equivalent
of a thousand idiots.
[01:59] Gin
How do you expect me to handle that?
[02:01] Zen
You don't get to complain after having
your way with all of them in one night.
[02:06] Madao
What does he mean, all of them?!
[02:08] Madao
Hey! You were just toying with me?!
[02:11] Zen
The women are certainly fired up.
[02:13] Zen
They're damn tough.
[02:14] Zen
Once they've made a decision,
they'll follow it through.
[02:18] Zen
Why not make all six of them happy?
[02:22] Gin
That's not possible!
[02:23] Gin
I should apologize before
this gets any uglier.
[02:26] Zen
Then tell them everything.
[02:29] Zen
Unload the burden and set yourself free,
[02:31] Zen
and leave the women to taste hell.
[02:37] Sa
Oh? Fancy meeting you here.
[02:40] Otae
What are you doing here, Sarutobi-san?
[02:42] Gin
O-Over there!
[02:44] Gin
M-My worst fears have been realized!
[02:45] Gin
The women have bumped into one another!
[02:48] Sa
Oh? You want to know?
[02:50] Sa
I'm living happily with my
darling in this apartment.
[02:54] Gin
Hey! Don't say another word!
[02:56] Otae
Congratulations.
[02:57] Otae
Is your darling a figment
of your imagination? CG?
[02:59] Sa
How rude! He's not two dimensional!
[03:01] Otae
Oh, so those are 3D glasses.
[03:04] Otae
What a coincidence.
[03:05] Otae
I'm also living with someone special now.
[03:07] Gin
Huh?
[03:08] Sa
You must be joking!
[03:09] Sa
A crude girl like you is living with a man?!
[03:11] Sa
Who is it?
[03:13] Otae
That's a secret.
[03:14] Otae
He told me not to tell anyone.
[03:16] Sa
M-My darling also told me not to tell anyone!
[03:18] Sa
He used his lips to seal mine!
[03:20] Gin
Don't lie!
[03:21] Gin
Why are you competing with each other?!
[03:22] Kyu
I see. So Tae-chan has
found a special someone.
[03:25] Otae
Kyu-chan.
[03:26] Kyu
That settles it then.
[03:29] Kyu
I'll face reality and
live happily as a woman.
[03:34] Kyu
With him.
[03:35] Sa
Kyubei-san, don't tell me that
you've also found someone?!
[03:38] Otae
R-Really, Kyu-chan?
[03:39] Otae
Wh-Who is he?
[03:40] Sa
I can't tell you...
[03:41] Gin
Hey! This is about to get really nasty!
[03:44] Sa
Stop playing coy and tell us who it is!
[03:46] Sa
It's probably some ugly pig!
[03:48] Otae
That's right. I need to say
hello to your boyfriend!
[03:51] Kyu
When the time comes, we'll
visit you and Polygonzo.
[03:56] Sa
What's that supposed to mean?!
[03:57] Sa
Just tell us now!
[03:59] Tsu
Enough of this foolishness.
[04:01] Tsu
An outsider shouldn't pry into
someone's private affairs.
[04:04] Tsu
Leave her be.
[04:07] Sa
Well, well, you look so lovely in that apron.
[04:10] Sa
Don't worry. Nobody's interested in you.
[04:12] Sa
But if you want to know who my
darling is, I might tell you!
[04:15] Tsu
Have fun with Pixelmon.
[04:17] Sa
Stop lowering the quality!
[04:20] S
Enough already.
[04:22] S
Just so you know, my darling is super hot!
[04:25] S
I guarantee that he'll blow your
boyfriends out of the water!
[04:27] Gin
Stop it! Not another word!
[04:29] Otae
Of course, since he's CG.
[04:31] Otae
My boyfriend looks kind of dumb,
but he's a venture entrepreneur.
[04:35] Otae
We live in this worn down
apartment right now,
[04:38] Otae
but eventually he'll help turn our
dojo into a palace where we can live.
SIGN Kodokan Dojo
[04:41] Gin
Venture entrepreneur?!
[04:42] Gin
I never promised anything!
[04:44] Kyu
Tae-chan, a man needs more than
money to protect his family.
[04:48] Kyu
My boyfriend doesn't have much
income, but he's a strong fighter.
[04:51] Kyu
I believe that he's one of the
Seven Warlords of the Sea.
[04:55] Gin
The hell I am!
[04:56] Gin
Why do they have to compete?!
[04:57] Tsu
Foolishness.
[04:59] Tsu
The only thing that matters is
that you believe he's the best.
[05:02] Tsu
Well, I don't particularly feel
that my boyfriend is that special.
[05:06] Tsu
But he was popular with
the Yoshiwara courtesans.
[05:09] Tsu
And he defeated the villain
of Yoshiwara all by himself.
[05:12] Gin
So you're still going to join in?!
[05:14] Sa
You're also bragging about your man, Tsu-ki!
[05:17] Otae
Well, my boyfriend would have no trouble
defeating the villain of Yoshiwara.
[05:21] Otae
And my boyfriend is also one of
the Seven Warlords of the Sea.
[05:23] Sa
Y-You too?
[05:25] Sa
What a coincidence! My darling is
also one of the Seven Warlords!
[05:28] Tsu
What a small world.
[05:29] Tsu
Four of the Seven Warlords
live in this apartment.
[05:32] Gin
Over half of the Warlords are me!
[05:35] Otose
Hmph, you girls are so blabby.
[05:38] Otose
If you've been left here alone on a Sunday,
[05:42] ---
it's obvious that he doesn't love you.
[05:45] Otae
Otose-san! Are you the same?
[05:47] Sa
How rude! We're just role playing!
[05:50] Sa
Besides, you're in the same position.
[05:51] Otose
Hmph, we've been together for a long time.
[05:55] Otose
We're past the stage of going on dates.
[06:00] Otose
But since tomorrow is the 7th,
[06:02] Otose
he mentioned that we might go out,
since he's one of the Seven Warlords.
[06:07] Otose
I believe.
[06:09] Gin
Gran! You're joining in?!
[06:11] Otae
Oh, you're also going
on a Seven Warlord date?
[06:14] Otae
So am I!
[06:15] Sa
Oh, I believe my darling
mentioned something about that!
[06:18] Kyu
Hey, enough of this.
[06:19] Kyu
I was the first one to bring
up the Seven Warlords.
[06:22] Tsu
R-Really?
[06:23] Tsu
So we'll all be going on dates tomorrow?
[06:25] Tsu
Maybe we'll run into each other somewhere.
[06:26] Gin
Why are you deciding my schedule for me?!
[06:28] Gin
The hell is a Seven Warlord date?!
[06:29] Gin
There's only one warlord here!
[06:30] Gin
There's only Whitehair Gintoki!
[06:36] Otae
It all happened so suddenly.
[06:39] Otae
So we haven't been on a real date yet.
[06:42] Gin
I'm busy tomorrow...
[06:45] Sa
The neighbor said her boyfriend
[06:46] ---
is taking off work to go out with her.
[06:47] Gin
Th-That has nothing to do with us.
[06:49] Gin
If that's what you want, you can
marry the boyfriend next door.
[06:53] Tojo
Fine! Then I'll leave!
[06:55] Tojo
But that means you have to take
the princess on a date on the 7th!
[06:58] Gin
Uh, you were still here?
[07:00] Gin
Fine, how about the 8th?
[07:02] Gin
One day shouldn't make
that much of a difference.
[07:04] Tsu
I want to go on the 7th.
[07:05] Gin
Why does it have to be on the 7th?
[07:08] Otose
Well, I was told that I
don't have long to live.
[07:11] Otose
By the 8th, I'll be...
[07:12] Gin
Don't lie to me, you old hag!
[07:13] Otae
Anyway, I want to go on the 7th.
[07:15] Gin
Can you tell me why?
[07:17] Otae
Oh, sorry. My hand slipped.
[07:20] Gin
Why won't the 8th work?
[07:22] Gin
Oh, my hand slipped.
SIGN Greater Edo Planetarium
[07:38] Zen
Ten minutes until you're
supposed to meet them.
[07:40] Zen
Are you ready?
[07:41] Gin
Yeah, tell Shinpachi and Kagura
to take care of themselves.
[07:45] Zen
Don't worry. You can make this work.
[07:48] Gin
Unfortunately, I only have one body.
[07:51] Gin
I can't go on a date with
five people at the same time.
[07:53] Zen
Hey, who do you think I am?
[07:56] Zen
I once led the Oniwabanshu.
[07:58] Gin
Are you going to teach
me the Clone Technique?
[08:01] Zen
Five is pretty difficult,
so we'll start with two.
[08:05] Gin
Wait, are you serious?
[08:06] Gin
That's not possible.
[08:06] Zen
Just close your eyes.
[08:09] Zen
Envision what I'm about to tell you.
[08:13] Zen
Picture Pi-ko in your mind
as accurately as you can.
[08:17] Gin
Huh? Pi-ko? Why?
[08:18] Zen
Silence!
[08:20] Zen
Next, picture another Pi-ko
next to the first one.
[08:23] Gin
That's difficult! And why
are you talking like Pi-ko?!
[08:26] Gin
Hey, I ended up with Osugi!
[08:27] Zen
That will work!
[08:29] Zen
You have two clones now.
[08:30] Gin
They're not clones! Not my clones, at least!
[08:32] Zen
Silence!
[08:33] Zen
Now picture another Pi-ko
and Osugi next to them.
[08:37] Zen
Yes, you're doing very well!
[08:39] Gin
Hold on!
[08:40] Gin
I got Chris Matsumura now!
[08:42] Gin
You screwed me up with your gay talk!
[08:44] Zen
Oh, dear.
[08:45] Zen
Then switch the Pi-ko on the
right to Chris Matsumura.
[08:47] Zen
That will change the two Osugis in
the middle into Chris Matsumuras.
[08:49] Gin
Is this supposed to be Othello?!
[08:51] Zen
Just do it, you horse's ass!
[08:54] Gin
You called me a horse's ass
and I ended up with a horse!
[08:58] Gin
Why does it still count as Chris Matsumura?!
[09:00] Zen
That's because you think of
Chris Matsumura as a horse!
[09:02] Gin
Don't be stupid! Apologize to me and Chris!
[09:05] Zen
Whatever!
[09:06] Zen
Chris and the horse are practically clones!
[09:08] Gin
The hell they are!
[09:09] Gin
I'm going to start over!
[09:11] Gin
This is even worse!
[09:13] Gin
It's like the evolution chart for Chris!
[09:16] Gin
I'm sorry!
[09:17] Zen
And we're done. That's enough.
[09:19] Zen
Open your eyes.
[09:21] Zen
You should be surprised.
[09:25] Gin
Oh, yeah! I'm damn surprised!
[09:28] Gin
Hey, are you trying to play with me?
[09:31] Gin
You're just entertaining yourself!
[09:33] Zen
Just a little joke.
[09:34] Zen
They're wearing masks.
[09:35] Zen
Take them off.
[09:36] Zen
I'm not going to ruin the romance in the air.
[09:40] Gin
They're inflated with air!
[09:42] Gin
Clone Technique my ass!
[09:45] Zen
I'm not as good as Jiraiya, but I
can control these with my strings.
[09:48] Zen
That way, I can use this
to help cover your ass.
[09:51] Gin
How is that going to help?!
[09:52] Otae
Gin-san!
[09:54] Gin
Shit!
[09:55] Otae
Sorry I'm late!
[09:57] Gin
H-Hey, don't say my name
in such a loud voice.
[10:00] Gin
What if there's someone who knows me?
[10:02] Otae
Yes, yes. I'm sorry.
[10:04] Otae
You're so shy.
[10:09] Sa
Darling! Sorry!
[10:12] Sa
Did you wait long?
[10:13] Sa
Oh, were you that lonely? You're such a baby!
[10:15] Tojo
Master Gintoki!
[10:17] Tojo
There he is, Princess.
[10:18] Kyu
Sorry about being late.
[10:20] Kyu
I was choosing what to wear.
[10:22] Tojo
What are you doing, Princess?
[10:24] Tojo
Over here.
[10:26] Kyu
I'm sorry.
[10:27] Kyu
I see that you also dressed up.
[10:29] Kyu
I almost didn't recognize you.
[10:31] Tojo
Indeed. He's like a completely
different person!
[10:34] Tojo
Sorry about grabbing the wrong person.
[10:37] Tsuku
Sorry, but I'm looking for this man.
[10:44] N
The stars we gaze at are actually tens
of thousands of light-years away.
[10:50] Zen
Anyway, this should keep you safe for now.
[10:53] Zen
We just have to make sure that
they don't notice one another.
[10:57] Zen
But we shouldn't need to worry
about that when it's so dark.
[11:01] Zen
I'm going to the restroom real quick,
so take over these strings for me.
[11:04] Gin
Huh?
[11:05] Gin
I don't know how to use those.
[11:07] Zen
I've been sitting this whole
time and my ass is hurting.
[11:10] Zen
This is Unit 01. This is Unit
02. This is Unit 03 and Unit 04.
[11:13] Gin
Huh? What?
[11:14] Gin
What? Repeat that again.
[11:15] Zen
You can use this to hear what they're
saying and you can also speak through it.
[11:19] Zen
Use the switch to change between...
[11:21] ---
Ah, can't hold it in anymore.
[11:23] Gin
Wait, hold on!
[11:24] Gin
I don't know which one is Unit
01 and which one is Unit 02!
[11:27] Kyu
Gintoki.
[11:29] Kyu
Am I boring you?
[11:32] Gin
This is bad!
[11:33] Gin
She's getting suspicious because
I haven't said anything.
[11:36] Gin
How do I talk into this?
[11:39] Gin
Uh...
[11:41] Gin
What is this?!
[11:42] Gin
There are lines programmed into those things?
[11:45] Gin
I have to choose one of them?
SIGN 1) Do you have any Preparation H?
SIGN 2) Are there any shower toilets here?
SIGN 3) That's a toilet with a shower.
SIGN 4) No, that's not an anal
fissure. Those are hemorrhoids.
SIGN 5) No, those aren't
hemorrhoids. That's Chris.
[11:48] Gin
And these lines are horrible!
[11:49] Gin
They all have to do with hemorrhoids!
[11:51] Gin
I have no idea when line 5
would ever come into play!
[11:55] Kyu
I see. Sorry to bother you
with such a foolish question.
[11:58] Gin
Damn, I need to hurry up!
SIGN 15) I was comparing your beauty to that of the North Star. But your...
[12:01] Gin
There's a good line!
[12:02] Gin
A cheesy one that's perfect
for this situation!
[12:06] Gin
I was comparing your beauty to
that of the North Star.
[12:12] Gin
But your hemorrhoids are bigger.
SIGN But your hemorrhoids are bigger.
[12:15] Gin
Th-There was a nasty
bugger tacked on the end!
[12:19] Gin
Why did that rotten ninja
even include these lines?!
[12:22] Gin
What do hemorrhoids have
to do with the North Star?!
[12:25] Tojo
Master Gintoki! What do you mean?!
[12:28] Gin
Now I've got someone else on me!
[12:29] Tojo
Do you mean to say that the
princess has hemorrhoids?!
[12:32] Tojo
And you've seen them before?!
[12:34] Kyu
N-No! I don't have any!
[12:36] Gin
Shit! Hurry! Cover my ass!
[12:38] Gin
Ah, wrong one!
[12:40] Gin
No, those aren't hemorrhoids. That's Chris.
[12:43] Gin
The line had a use!
[12:46] A
Hey, what's that silhouette?
[12:48] A
It's flying?
[12:49] Otae
What's that?
[12:51] Otae
Huh?
[12:52] Otae
Isn't that Gin-san?
[12:53] A
Hey, it disappeared.
[12:54] A
Where did it go?
[12:55] B
Maybe it's a constellation?
[12:57] Gin
That's a toilet with a shower.
[12:59] A
Oh, a toilet.
[13:01] A
Didn't know there was a toilet constellation.
[13:03] Gin
Unit 03! Pull yourself together!
[13:05] Gin
Hey, Unit 03!
[13:06] Gin
Hold on, I'll give you mouth-to-nozzle!
[13:09] Gin
Come back to us, Unit 03!
[13:11] Tojo
Princess! Master Gintoki has vanished!
[13:14] Kyu
Oh, no. I kicked him too hard.
[13:16] Kyu
Hey, Gintoki!
[13:17] Kyu
Are you okay?!
[13:18] Gin
Guess I'll ditch the sleeping
old hag and go for a recovery.
[13:21] Sa
Why are the people in the
center making so much noise?
[13:25] Sa
I should go warn them.
[13:27] Gin
Sh-Shit! They're going
to bump into each other!
[13:30] Gin
I believe that this string controls Unit 02!
[13:37] Sa
You don't want me to go?
[13:39] Sa
Are you lonely without me, Darling?
[13:42] Sa
Don't worry! I won't go anywhere!
[13:44] Sa
I'll always be here for you!
[13:46] Gin
I-I'm saved...
[13:47] Gin
I don't understand what happened,
[13:49] ---
but apparently I made the doll grab her hand.
[13:51] Otae
Um, Gin-san?
[13:55] Otae
That's my juice...
[13:57] Gin
Huh?
[13:58] Gin
I also made Unit 01 grab something?
[14:01] Gin
Er, don't tell me...
[14:03] Tsu
H-Hey, what do you think you're
doing in this public place?
[14:06] Gin
Hey! Unit 04 is grabbing something!
[14:09] Gin
What is he grabbing?!
[14:11] Gin
He was grabbing someone's thing!
[14:13] Gin
Wait, Unit 04!
[14:15] Gin
That's the wrong side!
[14:16] Gin
Don't pull that out!
[14:18] Gin
I've figured it out!
[14:19] Gin
Their movements are linked!
[14:21] Gin
These clones are so hard to use!
[14:25] Tsuku
Honestly, young people
these days are hopeless.
[14:28] Gin
Fortunately, the darkness
is giving me cover,
[14:31] Gin
but Tsukuyo is going to
notice sooner or later!
[14:33] Sa
Here you go, Darling. Ah!
[14:36] Sa
Eat this. Ah!
[14:38] Gin
I don't have time to deal with you!
[14:40] Gin
The guy next to Unit 04 is...
[14:42] Gin
Damn it!
[14:42] Gin
How do I open my mouth?!
[14:44] Gin
Which string is it?! This one?!
[14:46] Otae
What brought that on?
[14:48] Otae
Are you nervous?
[14:52] Otae
It's so strange.
[14:53] Otae
We didn't used to have any issues
when we were alone together.
[14:56] Otae
Now I get so nervous whenever I'm with you.
[15:00] Otae
Gin-san, are you also...
[15:03] Otae
Gin-san?
[15:04] Otae
W-Wait a second!
[15:06] Otae
W-We can't do that here!
[15:08] Otae
G-Gin-san!
[15:10] Gin
At the worst possible time!
[15:13] Gin
I-It's okay!
[15:15] Gin
It might look like a kiss!
[15:17] Gin
A very wild kind of kiss!
[15:19] Gin
The hell did you open your mouth for?!
[15:22] Sa
Here you are.
[15:23] Sa
Next, you should feed me.
[15:26] Sa
Ah!
[15:27] Gin
Shut the hell up!
[15:28] Gin
Don't make any more trouble for me!
[15:30] Sa
Hurry, Darling!
[15:32] Gin
Damn, I have to feed her?
[15:33] Gin
How?
[15:36] Gin
What did you feed him?!
[15:38] Otae
Don't get too friendly now!
[15:40] Gin
That one's about to be eaten alive.
[15:43] Gin
That girl is more like
Unit 01 than my Unit 01!
[15:46] Gin
Damn, that means Unit 03 and Unit
01 will both be out of action.
[15:49] Gin
If I lose any more dolls, I
won't be able to cover my ass!
[15:51] Gin
Go back, Unit 04!
[15:53] Gin
Go back to your seat!
[15:54] Tsu
Could you stop this?
[15:56] Tsu
Can't you do that somewhere else?
[15:59] Tsu
Well, Gintoki?
[16:01] Gin
Damn, she's going to find out!
Go back to your seat!
[16:04] Gin
Whew, barely made it...
[16:06] Sa
Ah! Someone help!
[16:09] C
What?! What happened?!
[16:11] Sa
My darling jumped into the vent!
[16:14] Gin
What?!
[16:15] Gin
Unit 02 also took a dive?!
[16:17] C
Oh, no! He's leaking gas from his ass!
[16:20] Sa
Hold on, Darling!
[16:22] Sa
I'll give you mouth-to-crotch!
[16:23] Gin
Unit 02 is down!
[16:25] Gin
Only Unit 04 is left!
[16:27] A
Now it's your turn to take
that business somewhere else.
[16:31] A
Like Yoshiwara?
[16:35] A
Hey, what's that?
[16:37] B
What constellation is that?
[16:39] Gin
Th-They've been wiped out!
[16:41] Gin
There was no chance that they
could handle those women!
[16:44] Gin
I'm going to end up like these dolls!
[16:47] Gin
Run!
[16:48] Gin
Run somewhere far away from
this place and everyone here!
[16:51] Gin
That's the only way I can survive!
[16:59] Otose
Huh? Where are you going, Gintoki?
[17:15] Zenzo
Hey, I've been looking for you.
[17:17] Gin
That was a long dump.
[17:19] Zen
Yeah, I ran out of Preparation H.
[17:24] Zen
Is it all over?
[17:28] Zen
I see. Well, you should be
glad you're still alive.
[17:34] Zenzo
Drink.
[17:35] Zenzo
Drink and forget all the bad stuff.
[17:37] Gin
I won't be able to forget this.
[17:42] Zenzo
It must have been really bad.
[17:44] Gin
They were going to tear my
six-timing balls into six balls
[17:48] Gin
and scatter them around the world
so I would have to look for them.
[17:51] Gin
So first, they strung me up here.
[17:53] Gin
Then they went back for tools.
[17:56] Gin
But they haven't come back.
[18:00] Zenzo
Well, I'm guessing that they don't
want to see your face again.
[18:04] Zenzo
Still, I can't believe you
survived for two weeks out here.
[18:08] Gin
On the morning of the third day,
[18:09] ---
there was an unidentified
substance hidden near me.
[18:13] Gin
On the fourth day, there was a hot pot.
[18:15] Gin
On the fifth day, it was curry.
[18:17] Gin
On the sixth and seventh days,
[18:19] ---
there were familiar items lying around.
[18:21] Gin
I could drink an ocean and
not forget that taste.
[18:26] Gin
I can't let myself forget.
[18:30] Gin
I was so worried about myself,
[18:33] Gin
that I never thought about them.
[18:37] Gin
But they still show kindness
to the man who tricked them.
[18:41] Gin
What can I do for them?
[18:44] Zenzo
There's nothing left.
[18:46] Zenzo
You quit drinking, right?
[18:48] Gin
If that's what it takes, I'll
never drink another drop.
[18:52] Gin
But that won't be enough...
[18:54] Zenzo
It will.
[18:56] Zenzo
Look at the bowl.
SIGN You've been punked!!
[19:05] Zenzo
You just promised to quit drinking, right?
[19:09] Zenzo
You just promised to quit drinking, right?
[19:15] Shin
Stop! You're killing me!
[19:17] Shin
Turn off the TV! No more!
[19:18] Shin
That face is priceless!
[19:19] Otose
Man, I can't believe you tricked him
into promising to quit drinking!
[19:23] Kyu
But we may have gone too far.
[19:26] Kyu
It's good that he quit drinking,
[19:29] Kyu
but he actually thought
that we slept together?
[19:32] Otose
He wasn't entirely innocent.
[19:34] Otose
Did you forget what
happened during the party?
[19:36] Otose
He kept pestering us to drink more,
[19:41] Otose
and we had to pay for the repairs
when he wrecked the bar.
[19:46] Tsu
Yes, there is good drink and bad drink.
[19:50] Tsu
He would be a bad drinker.
[19:52] Sa
You're in no position to talk!
[19:54] Sa
And you helped him wreck the bar!
[19:57] Sa
Well, normally, I would
refuse to trick Gin-san,
[20:01] Sa
but since I got to live
with him, I'm okay with it.
SIGN Sugar Content
[20:04] Sa
Since I helped, make me a copy
[20:06] ---
of the part where Gin-san
and I are living together.
[20:09] Tojo
Then make me a copy of the part
[20:10] ---
where the lady is wearing
nothing but an apron.
[20:12] Kyu
That never happened.
[20:14] Otose
I can't do that.
[20:15] Otose
We have to hold onto this
tape and show it to him
[20:18] ---
whenever he feels like drinking.
[20:20] Zen
Hey, Gran.
[20:21] Zen
I'm the one who taped the whole thing.
[20:23] Zen
You should give me something for my trouble.
[20:24] Zen
Right.
[20:25] Zen
Let me see that look on his face again.
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
Snack Otose
[20:28] Shin
What? Haven't you had enough?
[20:30] Shin
How many times have we watched this?
[20:31] Shin
I'm getting tired of...
[20:41] A
Yo, Gin-san.
[20:42] A
Want a drink?
[20:46] B
Odd Jobs, we have a new cutie.
[20:49] B
Stop by for a drink.
[20:52] B
What's wrong, big guy?
[20:54] B
Did you quit drinking?
[20:56] B
There must be a storm coming!
[21:00] Madao
Hey, there.
[21:02] Madao
How about a drink to help you
forget all the bad stuff?
[21:05] Gin
I have nothing I want to forget.
[21:08] Gin
I won't forget your faces
until I've gotten my revenge.
[21:15] Gin
Why are you the only one here?
[21:19] Madao
Because I want to forget.
[21:22] Gin
You're the ones who bent me over
and forced me to quit drinking.
[21:27] Madao
Gin-san.
[21:28] Madao
I never did that.
[21:32] Madao
You're the one
[21:35] Madao
who bent me over.
[21:53] Gin
Pops!
[21:54] Gin
Give me the strongest liquor you got!
SIGN Next Episode
SIGN We Are All Male Escorts, In Capital Letters
[23:30] Gin
Next time:
SIGN Next Episode
[23:32] Both
Yay!
SIGN We Are All Male Escorts, In Capital Letters
[23:33] Gin
In capital letters, okay?
SIGN Next Episode
[23:35] Both
Yes!
SIGN We Are All Male Escorts, In Capital Letters
[23:36] Gin
Attention, all humans!
SIGN Next Episode
[23:38] Both
Thank you very much!
SIGN Next Episode
[23:39] Gin
Male escorts!
SIGN Next Episode
SIGN Next Episode
[23:40] All
Just do it!
SIGN We Are All Male Escorts, In Capital Letters
SIGN In order to save Kyoshiro, the Odd Jobs members become male escorts again!!
SIGN So the Gintama anime will be back again next year. Just do it!! (Echo)
E241 - We are all hosts, in capital letters
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:30] Shin
What? You're going to quit being a host?
[01:33] Kyo
Yes, I'm going to quit and
open a plastic model shop.
[01:37] Kyo
I already have the perfect name.
[01:40] Kyo
Plastic Kyoshiro.
[01:42] Shin
Uh, what are you talking about, Kyoshiro-san?
[01:43] Shin
That wasn't funny. Who's going
to recognize that reference?
[01:47] Kagura
Yeah, you should open a Mini 4WD
store called Dash Kyoshiro instead.
[01:52] Shin
Nobody's going to recognize that one either!
[01:53] Kagura
What's wrong anyway?
[01:55] Kagura
You're the number one host
in the Kabuki district.
[01:57] Kagura
Is the silicon in your
nose starting to crumble?
[01:59] Kyo
I feel like I've hit a wall,
[02:02] Kyo
so I wanted to invite the members of
[02:05] ---
Odd Jobs to be my final customers.
[02:07] Gin
Hold on. Has all the plastic
surgery damaged your brain?
[02:12] Gin
If the head is too light, the
car will rise on sharp turns
[02:15] Gin
and you'll fly off the track,
so you'll need side rollers...
[02:18] Shin
Stop talking about Mini 4WDs!
[02:21] Shin
Hachiro-san, what happened?
[02:25] Hachi
Do you know Madame Yagami?
[02:28] Kyo
Hachiro!
[02:29] Hachi
She's said to be an Edo-born socialite,
and something of an enigma.
[02:33] Hachi
A tip of her glass and the balance
of power in this town crumbles.
[02:38] Hachi
Whoever controls her
controls the night streets.
[02:45] Hachi
She descends like a goddess
of fortune in the dark
[02:48] Hachi
and leaves wealth and riches in her wake.
[02:51] Hachi
But she never visits the same town again.
[02:55] Hachi
A goddess of the night.
[02:58] Hachi
And a few nights ago,
[03:01] Hachi
the Madame visited Takamagahara.
[03:06] Shin
What? Isn't that great?
[03:09] Gin
Like when a pro Mini 4WD racer
shows up at a local tournament?
[03:13] Shin
That's kind of hard to relate to.
[03:15] Hachi
However, the Madame had a message
[03:17] ---
for us when she left.
[03:21] Madam
I'll be back next week at the same time.
[03:28] Shin
Huh? Th-That's terrific!
[03:31] Shin
You secured a promise from someone who
[03:33] ---
never visits the same place twice!
[03:35] Hachi
No, this is not a good thing.
[03:37] Shin
Huh?
[03:38] Hachi
The Madame is aware that she
[03:40] ---
has the power to completely reshape a town.
[03:43] Hachi
Which is why she shuns every club,
[03:46] ---
even the ones she takes a liking to.
[03:49] Hachi
When the Madame says that
she will be returning,
[03:53] Hachi
she intends to ruin us.
[03:57] Hachi
Tomorrow, she will no longer
be a goddess of fortune,
[03:59] Hachi
but a goddess of death.
[04:05] Shin
Wh-Why?!
[04:07] Shin
Did something happen to upset her?
[04:09] Hachi
We're talking about the most
powerful socialite under the sun.
[04:12] Hachi
I would assume that she didn't like
some aspect of the experience.
[04:15] Shin
So you don't actually want to quit.
[04:18] Shin
You just think that this
place will be shut down.
[04:20] Gin
Speaking of which, I don't
see any other hosts around.
[04:23] Hachi
Yes, they're all too scared to work.
[04:28] Kyo
I'm very sorry.
[04:30] Kyo
Our failure will ruin the entire town.
[04:34] Kyo
But while I've given up on the club,
[04:37] ---
I won't let her ruin this town.
[04:40] Kyo
I swear on my pride as a host.
[04:42] Hachi
But how are we supposed to entertain the
[04:45] ---
Madame when everyone's gone?
[04:46] Kyo
Nevertheless, we must do
[04:48] ---
what we can to curry the Madame's favor.
[04:51] Gin
How many?
[04:52] Both
Huh?
[04:53] Gin
How many dashing, young men do you require?
[04:58] Gin
And...
[05:00] Gin
Are you positive that she's rich, boss?
SIGN We Are All Hosts, In Capital Letters
[05:14] Gin
Listen up!
[05:15] Gin
We're going to scout the Kabuki district for
[05:17] ---
Hunks of the Zodiac to take on the Madame!
[05:21] Gin
Everyone ready?
[05:22] Gin
Just do it!
[05:24] Both
Sparkling!
[05:25] Shin
Okay!
[05:26] Shin
My life is yours.
[05:30] Kagura
Consider it done.
[05:34] Gin
Ignore anyone below a Bronze Saint.
[05:38] Gin
Ideally, we want Silver Saints.
[05:40] Kagura
Excuse me! I have no idea
what that means! Whoo-hoo!
[05:43] Gin
In other words, we don't want
anyone uglier than Isao Hashizume,
[05:47] Gin
and anyone more handsome than
Makoto Fujita is too handsome,
[05:51] Gin
so reject them too!
[05:52] Shin
You just eliminated the
majority of the human race!
[05:54] Shin
What's the difference
between bronze and silver?!
[05:58] Gin
In other words,
[05:59] Gin
make sure you don't bring any Gold Saints
[06:03] Gin
like Masaharu Fukuyama or Shun Oguri.
[06:05] Gin
They'll make us look bad
and scare the customers.
[06:10] Shin
So you want us to bring ugly people?!
[06:13] Gin
Just go!
[06:14] Kyo
Uh... Excuse me, Odd Jobs.
[06:17] Kyo
I appreciate the help, but
this isn't such an easy job.
[06:22] Kyo
Looks are only a starting point.
[06:24] Kyo
Hosts must have personalities
that draw people to them.
[06:28] Gin
So you're saying that I'm
all looks and no substance?
[06:33] Gin
Just a pretty face?
[06:34] Kyo
Uh, I never said that.
[06:36] Kyo
And I never said that you
were particularly handsome.
[06:39] Gin
In other words, it's what's
inside that counts.
[06:47] Kyo
E-Er, I guess...
[06:48] Gin
And that's what we're focused on.
[06:51] Madao
Gin-san, I heard you had a job for me.
[06:54] Kyo
Huh?
[06:55] Kyo
This is worse than I expected!
[06:57] Kyo
And is he wearing paper?!
[06:59] Kyo
Hold on a second.
SIGN I want to meet Jang Geun-suk.
[07:01] Kyo
Wouldn't he considered a Cardboard Saint?
[07:03] Madao
This isn't cardboard.
[07:05] Madao
Look, I also used newspaper
and colorful t-shirts.
[07:10] Madao
It's kind of like a suit.
[07:12] Kyo
No, it's not.
[07:13] Kyo
And your necklace is somebody's
Tanabata wish card.
[07:17] Madao
Sorry, boss.
[07:19] Madao
I was aiming for a hosty, flashy look.
[07:23] Kyo
Uh, do you understand what
it means to be a host?
[07:26] Gin
He may not look like much on the outside,
[07:28] Gin
but he's a hard worker on the inside.
[07:30] Gin
Like a J Leaguer.
[07:32] Gin
Welcome aboard!
[07:35] Gin
Look, he's even sporting
a sponsor on his back.
SIGN Aomori Apples
[07:39] Gin
And he's got bling around his neck.
[07:41] Gin
And we're planning a
shotgun wedding with Rosa!
[07:44] Kyo
U-Uh, Odd Jobs?
[07:47] Kyo
We work in the service industry,
so I need someone more...
[07:51] Gin
Don't worry. I've got it covered.
[07:55] Gin
I happen to know this handsome fellow
who works in the service industry.
[07:59] Gin
And I'm not talking about
one of those metrosexuals
[08:00] Gin
that are all the rage these days.
[08:02] Gin
This one's a real macho...
[08:04] Otae
Did you just call me macho?!
[08:07] Shin
Sis!
[08:09] Otae
Shin-chan, explain yourself.
[08:13] Otae
I came because you told me
[08:14] ---
that Hideyoshi's lost
treasure had been found!
[08:17] Shin
Y-You've got it wrong, Sis!
[08:18] Shin
I was saying that we could obtain wealth
[08:21] ---
that would rival Hideyoshi's lost treasure,
[08:23] Shin
so just bear with us.
[08:24] Otae
Shut your mouth!
[08:26] Otae
Why should I dress up like a
man and work at a host club?!
[08:29] Kagura
See, she's so manly.
[08:31] Gin
Listen to me, Otae!
[08:32] Gin
There isn't much difference between
a hostess club and a host club!
[08:34] Gin
The only difference is the gender!
[08:36] Gin
Which means you're already a host...
[08:39] Kyo
P-Please calm yourself, Otae-san.
[08:41] Kyo
You have it all wrong.
[08:43] Kyo
I thought that the top hostess
in the Kabuki district...
[08:46] Otae
Huh?
[08:47] Kyo
...would be able to introduce
us to some handsome men.
[08:51] Kyo
Since you must be very popular with the guys.
[08:54] Otae
Huh? O-Oh...
[08:56] Otae
Please, Kyoshiro-san!
[09:01] Madao
Boss!
[09:03] Otae
Handsome men?
[09:05] Otae
I suppose that I know a few.
[09:09] Otae
Who should I choose?
[09:10] Otae
This is so difficult!
[09:12] Kondo
Oh, Otae-san. Did you need me for something?
[09:14] Shin
And here comes someone who was
never invited to the party!
[09:17] Shin
Why is he acting like we
begged him to come here?!
[09:19] ---
I want to punch him in the face!
[09:21] Kondo
I understand, Otae-san.
[09:24] Kondo
You didn't want to ask me to be a host
[09:26] Kondo
because you didn't want to risk losing me
[09:28] ---
to some other girl, right?
[09:30] Kondo
I saw it all transpire.
[09:32] Shin
Nothing like that ever happened!
[09:34] Shin
How long have you been
watching us, you stalker?!
[09:37] Kondo
Don't worry. Nobody can steal my heart.
[09:41] Kondo
Isao will forever be your personal hostalker.
SIGN Host + Stalker = Hostalker
[09:45] Shin
Nobody would want you as a personal host.
[09:48] Gin
Hostcar?
[09:49] Gin
Hey, guys.
[09:50] Gin
This guy wants a host's car.
[09:53] Gin
We can have him carry our stuff.
[09:55] Kondo
Wait! That's not what I said!
[09:56] Kagura
We've got enough people now.
[09:58] Kagura
Let's head back, boys!
[10:02] Kyo
U-Uh, excuse me.
[10:05] Kyo
I would like everyone to
take an aptitude test.
[10:09] Gin
Aptitude test?
[10:10] Kyo
Yes, since a host's job
is to chat with girls.
[10:16] Kyo
I would like all of you to talk to
girls and bring them to the club.
[10:23] Kyo
You can pretend that you're
trying to pick up the girls.
[10:27] Kyo
At first glance, hosts may
appear to operate solo,
[10:31] Kyo
but that's only when customers
request you by name.
[10:36] Kyo
Temporary help typically
plays a supporting role.
[10:40] Kyo
In other words, teamwork is critical.
[10:43] Kyo
Show me that you can cover
for each other's mistakes
[10:47] ---
and accomplish your job.
[10:50] Kyo
Is that their target?
[10:53] Madao
Oh, excuse me.
[10:55] Kyo
He bumped into her to
create an excuse to talk.
[10:57] Girl
Oh, no. I wasn't paying attention.
[10:59] Madao
Uh, excuse me...
[11:02] Madao
I believe this dropped from your back.
[11:05] Madao
Feather.
[11:06] Kyo
Uh, you're the one who
just dropped everything!
SIGN I want to meet Jang Geun-suk.
[11:09] Kyo
The suit fell apart when he bumped into her!
[11:11] Kyo
Somebody help him!
[11:13] Kagura
Oh, sorry.
[11:14] Kagura
That belongs to me.
[11:16] Kyo
How is that supposed to help?!
[11:18] ---
And that feather was yours?!
[11:20] Madao
Uh, she looks more like an angel to me.
[11:24] Kagura
No, I'm the angel.
[11:25] Madao
Well, can you prove it?
[11:27] Kyo
Don't you people have more important
things to be talking about?!
[11:30] Shin
Hey! What are you people doing?!
[11:32] Kyo
Crap! It's the police!
[11:34] Kyo
They can't pick up girls now!
[11:35] Shin
Why not use rock, paper, scissors
[11:36] Shin
to decide?
[11:38] Kyo
You're joining in?!
[11:40] Kyo
Why do you people keep striking funny poses?!
[11:43] Kagura
Okay. We'll use rock, paper, scissors
to determine who the feather belongs to.
[11:46] Girl
Um, I'm not an angel.
[11:49] Shin
Just do as we say.
[11:50] Girl
Um, I'm in a hurry.
[11:52] Kyo
Hey! You're scaring her off!
[11:55] Madao
Well, you should just give it a try.
[11:57] Girl
As I've been saying...
[11:59] Otae
I'm not an angel!
[12:02] Kyo
You too!
[12:04] Kyo
What was the point of this entire exchange?!
[12:04] All
We're sorry!
[12:06] Kyo
It was nothing more than a sham!
[12:11] Gin
What is with those people?
[12:14] Gin
There must be something wrong with them.
[12:16] Girl
You're absolutely right.
[12:17] Girl
Oh, I'm sorry.
[12:19] Gin
No, don't be.
[12:21] Gin
I'm the one who approached you.
[12:24] Kyo
C-Could it be?!
[12:25] Kyo
This is the main event?!
[12:27] Girl
Th-Then I'll be going now!
[12:30] Gin
Ah, please wait.
[12:32] Girl
Huh?
[12:33] Kyo
So the entire sequence was
one giant accident designed
[12:38] Kyo
to create an opening in her heart?!
[12:41] Gin
You dropped this. It's not a feather.
[12:45] Girl
Huh? This is...
[12:47] Gin
I-I'm sorry.
[12:48] ---
But I would love to
[12:54] Gin
talk with you again.
[12:58] Gin
Well, if you happen to have some time,
[13:01] ---
feel free to drop by.
[13:04] Gin
As luck would have it,
[13:05] ---
I'm always available since
no one ever asks for me.
[13:07] Kyo
And he used a subtle invitation
instead of a direct one
[13:11] Kyo
to soften the bad rep that
comes with being a host!
[13:13] Girl
S-So you're a host.
[13:16] Gin
No, I might be the devil.
[13:19] Kyo
And then he shows his wild side?!
[13:23] Girl
U-Um, I-I might visit your club then,
[13:29] Girl
just to see what it's like, I guess...
[13:32] Gin
I invite you to Takamagahara,
a refuge for angels.
[13:37] Kyo
He landed her?!
[13:39] Kyo
They were able to recover
from that horrible beginning!
[13:42] Kyo
No, this was all part of their plan!
[13:46] Kyo
Maybe... Just maybe they can pull it off!
[13:50] Gin
The club is nearby, so allow
me to escort you there.
[13:53] Gin
It wouldn't do to let an
angel get her feet dirty.
[13:55] Girl
You're too kind...
[13:57] Kyo
They may be able to put up a
fight against the Madame!
[14:01] Gin
Now.
[14:01] Kondo
Vroom!
[14:03] Gin
Please get on.
[14:07] Gin
What's wrong? You've never
seen a hostcar before?
[14:10] Kondo
Vroom!
[14:11] Gin
It's a comfortable ride.
[14:14] Gin
Down, boy.
[14:15] Gin
Hey, stop it.
[14:16] Gin
Hold up now.
[14:17] Gin
You're going the wrong way!
SIGN Dream Castle
[14:21] Gin
Come on now.
[14:22] Gin
This is a completely
different kind of refuge.
[14:25] Gin
Seriously.
[14:27] Gin
Oh, well.
[14:28] Gin
Let's go inside for a bit...
SIGN Shinsengumi
[14:32] Girl
Help! Police!
[14:34] Girl
That host is very weird!
[14:39] Toshi
What's wrong with you?
[14:41] Gin
What's wrong with you?
[14:43] Kondo
Yeah!
[14:44] Both
We're just your average weird hosts!
[14:57] Kyo
Uh, I asked you guys to bring customers.
[15:03] Kyo
Why did you get yourself arrested?
[15:06] Gin
Boss.
[15:07] Gin
We would have landed two or three girls
[15:10] ---
if it wasn't for these rotten cops.
[15:13] Gin
Ain't that right, ISAO?
[15:15] Kondo
GIN is absolutely right.
[15:17] Kondo
Cops are getting so anal these days.
[15:22] Kondo
It's getting hard to live in this town.
[15:24] Toshi
You're in charge of those cops!
[15:26] Kondo
That's ancient history.
[15:28] Kondo
I've abandoned my position
and prestige for Otae-san
[15:32] Kondo
to start over from the bottom
of society as a hostalker!
[15:38] Okita
Kondo-san, I think you'll be
starting from the Jomon period.
[15:43] Toshi
We're leaving.
[15:45] Toshi
If you want a job as a car,
you can be a patrol car
[15:47] ---
that helps keep the streets safe.
[15:48] Kondo
Hosts also keep the streets safe!
[15:51] Kondo
If we don't do anything, that
Madame will ruin this town!
[15:55] Okita
What are you babbling about?
[15:58] Kondo
GIN! Help me out here!
[16:00] Kondo
This club will be in trouble without its ace!
[16:02] Kondo
Whitebeard and Luffy won't stand for this!
[16:05] Gin
Just feed him one banana a day.
[16:08] Gin
If he still runs slow, have
him hold his own banana.
[16:11] Kondo
No!
[16:12] Kondo
I'll be turned into a circus show gorilla!
[16:14] Toshi
Stop struggling and come with us!
[16:16] Kondo
Boss!
[16:18] Kyo
Uh, could you wait a moment?
[16:20] Kondo
Boss!
[16:22] Kyo
No, I wasn't talking to the gorilla.
[16:24] Kyo
This could very well be...
[16:28] Kyo
This could very well be it!
SIGN Takamagahara
[16:32] A
What? Really?
[16:34] B
You bet!
[16:36] Otae
Ladies, do you have any plans tonight?
[16:40] Otae
If not, why not drop by Takamagahara,
[16:43] ---
the refuge for angels, to rest your wings?
[16:47] A
Huh? Takamagahara's open again?
[16:51] B
I heard that they were closed
because a bunch of hosts quit.
[16:55] C
Yeah.
[16:56] Otae
The club has reopened with many new hosts.
[17:00] A
Really?
[17:01] B
But the new hosts are probably ugly.
[17:04] C
I bet.
[17:06] Otae
Absolutely not.
[17:07] Otae
The hosts here are all handsome men
[17:10] Otae
selected from all over Edo.
[17:12] Otae
I promise that they will make
this a very magical night.
[17:19] Okita
Welcome.
[17:20] Toshi
To New Takamagahara.
[17:22] Okita
You won't be getting any sleep
tonight, my little pussy cats.
[17:26] Toshi
We're gonna have a HOT and COOL party here.
[17:30] Toshi
Here we go!
[17:32] Toshi
Let's party!
[17:34] All
Okay!
[17:36] Toshi
Hell no!
[17:38] Toshi
Why are we partying?!
[17:42] Toshi
When did Kondo-san turn
into Harley Gorillason?!
[17:45] Kyo
You definitely fit the part.
[17:48] Kyo
My eyes haven't failed me.
[17:50] Kyo
Please.
[17:52] Kyo
I need your help to protect
this town from the Madame.
[17:56] Toshi
Screw that.
[17:58] Toshi
Samurai do not fool around.
[18:01] Kondo
The Shinsengumi are obligated
to protect this town,
[18:04] Kondo
so this is our duty!
[18:05] Toshi
I don't think it's our duty
to wear handles on our heads.
[18:09] Kondo
This is an order from your chief.
[18:11] Kondo
We're partying all night!
[18:13] Toshi
There's a party in your
head every single day!
[18:17] Okita
Now, now. Calm down.
[18:19] Okita
Get yourself a drink,
[18:20] Okita
TOSHI.
[18:21] Toshi
Don't call me TOSHI!
[18:23] Toshi
And why are you already
entertaining customers?!
[18:25] Okita
I'm not sure what this is about,
[18:27] ---
but I've figured out how this works.
[18:29] Okita
I just have to trick dumb
bitches into giving me money
[18:32] ---
while I eat and drink for free.
[18:34] A
Aw, SOUGO is so mean!
[18:39] Okita
Sorry. I wasn't talking about you.
[18:42] Okita
Because you alone are special.
[18:46] Both
Excuse me! Another bottle of Dom Perignon!
[18:49] Toshi
He's a natural!
[18:50] Toshi
This job was made for him!
[18:51] Toshi
He's shining in all his evil glory!
[18:54] Kyo
Well, in any case,
[18:56] Kyo
I'll be serving the Madame.
[18:58] Kyo
The two of them will be my help.
[19:01] Kyo
The rest of you will be help for the help.
[19:04] Shin
Why would you need help for the help?!
[19:06] Shin
Even the Beatles didn't use that much help!
[19:08] Gin
Screw that!
[19:10] Gin
I'm not going to be reduced to help for them!
[19:12] Gin
He basically looks like
Shinpachi without the glasses!
[19:15] Kagura
Yeah!
[19:16] Kagura
Yeah, if Gin-chan dyed his hair
black, they would look the same!
[19:19] Both
My face isn't that dumb!
[19:22] Shin
What?!
[19:23] Gin
You're getting a cocky
because you rose two places
[19:26] ---
in the third character poll.
[19:28] Gin
I might not be so popular in 2D,
[19:30] Gin
but in 3D, everyone wants me!
[19:33] Shin
Could you stop fighting?!
[19:35] Shin
And what does 3D have to do with anything?!
[19:37] Gin
I don't need any lip from the
[19:38] ---
person who's miraculously placed
8th three times in a row!
[19:40] Toshi
Fool. You're lucky the
author sucks at drawing.
[19:45] Toshi
In 3D, you would look like Yo Oizumi.
[19:48] ---
A hairball!
[19:50] Shin
Calm down, Hijikata-san!
[19:52] Shin
What's so bad about Yo Oizumi?!
[19:54] Toshi
Shut up, Hat Trick!
[19:55] Gin
What?! In 3D, you would look
like Daisuke Sakaguchi!
[20:00] Shin
That's me!
[20:01] Toshi
That's bullshit! Even his
glasses look like the number 8!
[20:05] Shin
All glasses look like the number 8!
[20:07] Shin
Cut this out now!
[20:09] Shin
Eight is for my name, my
glasses, my 8th place...
[20:12] Otae
Please. Stop fighting.
[20:15] Otae
Everyone should get along.
[20:17] Otae
Teamwork is important for hosts.
[20:20] Kyo
You're absolutely right.
[20:22] Kyo
We need to work together
to satisfy the Madame.
[20:25] Kyo
If you follow my instructions, we'll be fine.
[20:28] Kyo
I normally don't need help,
[20:30] ---
so I'll try to do as much as I can myself.
[20:33] Kyo
Otae-san, we'll send the
customers home at 9 PM.
[20:36] Kyo
I want every person on
standby for the Madame.
[20:39] Otae
Er, you don't want any
other customers around?
[20:42] Kyo
Yes, is there a problem?
[20:44] Otae
Sorry, I thought you wanted some excitement,
[20:48] Otae
so I invited a lot of people.
[20:52] All
Ooh! It's been so long, Kyoshiro-sama!
[20:59] Saigo
Thank you for the invitation.
[21:02] Saigo
You must have really missed us.
[21:05] Agomi
Kyoshiro-sama is so happy that
he's foaming at the mouth!
[21:08] Agomi
I love it!
[21:09] A
Fabulous!
[21:11] Shin
It's the Saigo trannies!
[21:13] Saigo
Hey, Otae.
[21:15] Saigo
Is it true that you're footing the bill?
[21:18] Otae
Yes, we're going all out
to celebrate the reopening.
[21:22] Shin
Uh, nobody gave you
permission to do that, Sis!
[21:24] Saigo
Okay! We'll be drinking 'til
morning, Kyoshiro-sama!
[21:29] Shin
Wait! Kyoshiro-san!
[21:29] Otae
Enjoy yourselves.
[21:31] Kyo
H-Help...
[21:35] Madao
The Madame isn't even here and
he's already asking for help.
[21:39] Kagura
No, he's literally asking for help,
[21:41] Kagura
as in "oh my god help me
please," so we can ignore him.
[21:44] Shin
We can't ignore him!
[21:46] Shin
And the Madame is about to come!
[21:50] Shin
We haven't even started,
[21:52] Shin
and Kyoshiro-san has already been
hunted down by the monsters!
[21:56] Kyo
Help...
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Next Episode
Girls Like Vegeta, Guys Like Piccolo
[23:30] Gin
Next time:
[23:31] All
Girls like Vegeta, guys like Piccolo!
SIGN Uninvited guests keep showing up!! Madame Yagami also arrives!!
SIGN GIN and the other hosts must make do without Kyoshiro. What will happen?!
E242 - Girls like Vegeta, guys like Piccolo
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:30] Madam
I'll be back next week at the same time.
[01:35] Toshi
Here we go!
[01:37] Toshi
Let's party!
[01:39] All
Okay!
[01:41] All
Ooh! It's been so long, Kyoshiro-sama!
[01:45] Kyo
H-Help...
[01:48] Shin
And the Madame is about to come!
[01:51] Shin
We haven't even started,
[01:53] Shin
and Kyoshiro-san has already been
hunted down by the monsters!
[01:56] Kyo
Help!
SIGN Girls Like Vegeta, Guys Like Piccolo
[02:02] Shin
Kyoshiro-san has been hunted
down by the monsters!
[02:05] Shin
Why did this have to happen now?
[02:07] Kagura
Don't worry.
[02:08] Kagura
He's the number one host.
[02:10] Kagura
He can handle that lot with
one arm behind his back.
[02:13] Kagura
Look. It's the "I'll be back" hand.
[02:15] Shin
Uh, as far as we know, that hand
is the only thing left of him!
[02:19] Shin
We need to get him out of there
[02:20] ---
and ask the monsters to go back to their den!
[02:23] Gin
Damn. Unfortunately we're only the help for the help.
[02:26] Gin
TOSHI, are you ready?
[02:28] Toshi
Don't give me that crap!
[02:30] Toshi
How are we supposed to "Let's
party!" with those piranhas!
[02:33] Shin
Then we'll have to save him together!
[02:36] Gin
Screw that!
[02:37] Gin
All the money in the world wouldn't
[02:38] ---
be enough to get me to deal with them!
[02:40] Shin
Son of a bitch!
[02:43] Tsu
Wait, I just dropped by to visit.
[02:45] Tsu
Where do you think you're going?
[02:47] Tsu
GIN-sama?
[02:50] Tsu
The night is still young!
[02:53] Tsu
Bring me more booze, you stinkin' host!
[02:59] Shin
Th-The monster of Yoshiwara is here!
[03:02] A
B-Boss, you're drinking too much!
[03:05] Tsu
Shut up! I said to relax today!
[03:08] Tsu
Don't call me Boss. It's Tsu-ki.
[03:10] Otae
Welcome.
[03:11] Tsu
Yeah, you wanted a crowd, so I
brought everyone I could find.
[03:16] Tsu
We really get to drink all we want?
[03:18] Otae
Yes, normally you have to serve men,
[03:21] Otae
but this is like a Yoshiwara for women.
[03:23] Otae
Time for some payback.
[03:24] Shin
Again, nobody gave you
permission to do this, Sis!
[03:25] Tsu
Okay. Let's do this, girls.
[03:26] Shin
And why is Tsukuyo-san already drunk?
[03:29] A
I-I'm sorry. Boss...
[03:31] ---
Tsu-ki has never been to a host club
[03:33] ---
before so she's a little nervous.
[03:35] Tsu
Hey, bring some girls!
[03:37] Tsu
And music!
[03:38] Tsu
Play "Beer Tears Man Woman!"
[03:40] Shin
In what way is she nervous?!
[03:42] Shin
She sounds like a regular customer!
[03:45] Gin
G-Got it.
[03:46] Gin
I'll go find you some girls...
[03:48] Toshi
Hey! He's trying to run away again!
[03:57] Gin
Oh, a girl.
[04:05] Shin
Kyu-Kyubei-san's here too?!
[04:07] Otae
Oh, Kyu-chan. You came.
[04:10] Kyu
Sorry about being late.
[04:12] Kyu
You said that I could only bring girls,
[04:17] Kyu
so it took a while to get ready.
[04:18] Shin
Why are the Yagyu retainers
dressed like women?!
[04:21] Tojo
Oh, gosh. If it isn't Tsu-ki?
[04:24] Tojo
Just finish a long day in Yoshiwara?
[04:25] Tojo
Same here.
[04:26] Shin
And this guy's on his own level of wrong!
[04:29] Tsu
Hey! I never asked for any ugly girls!
[04:33] Tojo
What? That's so mean, Tsu-ki!
[04:34] Tojo
We both work in the same line of business.
[04:37] Shin
Uh, excuse me!
[04:38] Shin
This isn't like Yoshiwara,
so we don't provide girls...
[04:42] Tsu
What? I heard that this
is a Yoshiwara for women.
[04:45] Shin
Well, that's not entirely accurate.
[04:46] Tsu
What's that then?
SIGN Master Roshi Bondage
[04:48] Okita
The B Course is horse riding.
SIGN Trojan Horse Riding
[04:50] Okita
The C Course involves candles.
SIGN Candle Wax Play
[04:52] Okita
And the D Course involves neglect.
[04:54] Sa
Which should I choose?
[04:58] Sa
But I can't see.
[04:59] Sa
And isn't GIN-sama here yet?!
[05:01] Sa
I'm always after the G Course!
[05:03] Okita
Ma'am, I'm going to pin
your nose back with hooks
[05:06] Okita
and stick photos of it all over town.
[05:08] Sa
You know your stuff. What's your name?
[05:11] Both
Sick and twisted!
[05:13] Sa
Oh! That sounds like something
GIN-sama would say!
[05:15] Sa
I've been waiting for you!
[05:17] Toshi
Hey, toss them out with the trash.
[05:19] Sa
This is such an excellent bar!
[05:21] Sa
I'm very impressed!
[05:22] A
Hey! Where's my order?!
[05:24] B
Hello? Over here!
[05:27] Shin
We'll never be able to handle all
of these customers, Hijikata-san!
[05:29] Shin
More idiots keep showing up!
[05:31] Toshi
Hey, this is looking bad!
[05:32] Toshi
The place is practically full!
[05:34] Toshi
We're in over our heads!
[05:36] Shin
And now the trannies are starting a fight!
[05:38] Tojo
Eh? Who's your doctor?
[05:40] Ago
What? It's Takasu, fool.
[05:42] Tojo
Bastard, my senpai gets his from Takasu, too!
[05:46] Shin
They sound like a couple of addicts
bragging about their source!
[05:48] Shin
This is not good!
[05:49] Shin
We need to stop them!
[05:50] Toshi
What are you doing?!
[05:52] Toshi
Help us clear out some customers!
[05:53] Kagura
Shut up! That's what we're doing!
[05:57] Both
Sorry about the wait!
[06:01] Both
This is our special, Fish on Host!
[06:08] Shin
They made it worse!
[06:10] Toshi
Stop them! Do something!
[06:13] Shin
Do what?!
[06:14] Shin
I know! Kyoshiro-san!
[06:16] Shin
Kyoshiro-san!
[06:19] Shin
It's over!
[06:20] Shin
Forget about the Madame!
[06:22] Toshi
Damn it! What do we do...
[06:24] Saigo
Quiet down!
[06:30] Saigo
Don't you understand that you're
making trouble for the bar?
[06:33] Saigo
You're supposed to control
yourself when you have fun.
[06:37] Tsu
I've had enough.
[06:38] Kyu
The party is over.
[06:40] Saigo
I apologize for the trouble we caused.
[06:47] Shin
They instantly put an end to the riot.
[06:49] Shin
They're the real monsters.
[06:50] Toshi
In any case, we're back to normal.
[06:54] Saigo
Now that it's quiet, let's
get back to drinking.
[06:58] All
Cheers!
[07:01] Both
You're staying?!
[07:04] Gin
P-Perfect, this is my chance to escape.
[07:07] Madame
Excuse me.
[07:10] Madame
I have an appointment tonight.
[07:13] Madame
My name is Yagami.
[07:29] Gin
Yagami?
[07:30] Gin
Could it be?
[07:32] Gin
Could it be?
[07:34] Madame
Could you go tell Kyoshiro-san that
[07:37] ---
the Madame has come to see him?
[07:40] Gin
The Madame is here!
[07:42] Gin
A-At the worst possible time...
[07:45] Tsu
Booze! More booze!
[07:45] Gin
The monsters are still partying!
[07:48] Gin
I need to run away before I get caught up
[07:49] ---
in this disaster waiting to happen!
[07:51] Gin
S-So sorry...
[07:54] Gin
The boss is out right now.
[07:57] Gin
I-I'll go get him!
[07:59] Toshi
Don't worry, GIN.
[08:01] Toshi
I already contacted the boss.
[08:03] Shin
Please have something to
drink while you're waiting.
[08:06] Shin
Follow me.
[08:06] Gin
Y-You bastards!
[08:08] Toshi
You thought you could run away
after dragging us into this mess?
[08:12] Shin
All of us have to work together
to entertain the Madame.
[08:16] Gin
What? Don't be stupid!
[08:20] Gin
Where's everybody else?
[08:22] Gin
When is the boss coming back?
[08:24] Gin
They're all out of action!
[08:26] Gin
Do you have any idea what will happen if we
[08:28] ---
let the Madame join those drunken masters?
[08:30] Gin
It'd be like throwing a chair
into a bunch of Jackie Chans!
[08:33] Gin
She'll be used for acrobatic moves, abused,
[08:36] ---
then smashed against an enemy's head!
[08:37] Shin
I-It'll be okay!
[08:38] Shin
Please follow me.
[08:39] Shin
Kyoshiro-san will come back!
[08:41] Shin
Until then, we'll have
to entertain the Madame!
[08:45] Shin
Y-Your table is right over there.
[08:52] Tsu
Oh, GIN-sama. Where do you
think you're going without us?
[08:57] Tsu
I asked for you first!
[09:00] Tsu
Get your ass over here and pour me booze!
[09:02] Sa
Yeah!
[09:03] Sa
We're customers today, so
you should treat us better!
[09:06] Shin
We were too easy to spot!
[09:07] Shin
Like Jackie Chan's nose!
[09:09] Gin
S-Sorry, baby.
[09:12] Gin
I need to help this lady for a little bit.
[09:15] Gin
GURA and TAE will take good care of you.
[09:19] Tsu
What's that?! You're too
good to drink with me?!
[09:22] Shin
Now she's going Jackie Chan on us!
[09:23] Sa
You got balls to steal our men!
[09:26] Shin
Wait! Don't do anything to the Madame!
[09:28] Sa
Did you come here by yourself to pick up men?
[09:31] Sa
You're a real piece of work! Right, Tsu-ki?
[09:34] Shin
You're no better!
[09:36] Tsu
Wait, you got poop on your hair.
[09:38] Tsu
Is everything okay?
[09:41] Shin
Hey! Somebody stop these drunks!
[09:44] Kyu
Would you two stop that?
[09:47] Kyu
Excuse us.
[09:49] Kyu
I'll pay for the cleaning,
[09:50] ---
but for now, let's use this to wipe that off.
[09:53] Shin
You're drunk, too?!
[09:54] Kyu
Oh, it's bigger than I thought...
[09:57] Kyu
The fancy toilet paper from the
Yagyu household can't handle it.
[10:00] Shin
Uh, you're wiping her face! Stop it!
[10:03] Otae
Oh, Kyu-chan! You shouldn't do that!
[10:06] Otae
Let the employees handle this.
[10:10] Otae
If it won't come off, you wet the paper,
[10:13] Otae
and scrub hard.
[10:14] Shin
Hey!
[10:14] Shin
Even our employees are piss drunk!
[10:17] Otae
Oh, it won't come off.
[10:18] Kagura
It wasn't wet enough.
[10:19] Kagura
Give it to me, boss lady.
SIGN Takamagahara
[10:29] Kagura
I had too much Koronamin C.
[10:32] Otae
That's why kids are only
supposed to have one a day.
[10:35] Saigo
I see that my friends inconvenienced you.
[10:37] Saigo
It's on me, so drink away.
[10:43] Both
After all that rude behavior,
[10:46] ---
it's turned into a Jackie Chan carnival?!
[10:49] Toshi
What are we going to do?!
[10:50] Toshi
We won't be able to look after the Madame!
[10:53] Toshi
She's already about to snap!
[10:55] Gin
I can't blame her, considering
the abuse she's had to endure!
[10:59] Shin
If anything else goes wrong,
we'll be in big trouble!
[11:04] Shin
Anyway, let's try to
improve the Madame's mood!
[11:07] Gin
Uh, Yagami-san? What are you drinking there?
[11:11] Madame
Oolong Highball.
[11:12] Gin
Oh, that's good. I love those.
[11:15] Gin
It doesn't leave much of an
aftertaste. Right, TOSHI?
[11:19] Toshi
Huh? Yeah, I'm pretty
high on that Oolong pig.
[11:22] Toshi
Hell, Yamcha's little buddy is my
favorite character in Dragonball...
[11:30] Otae
That's Puar!
[11:36] Gin
Yeah. Right. That's Puar!
[11:39] Gin
Oh, speaking of Dragonball, Yagami-san.
[11:41] Gin
Who's your favorite character?
[11:43] Gin
Let me guess.
[11:44] Gin
I'm pretty good at Dragonball
character fortune telling.
[11:48] Gin
Let's see, you're a Tien...
[11:50] Gin
No, you might actually be a Vegeta.
[11:53] Tsu
The king of King Castle!
[11:58] Gin
Right. You have unique taste.
The king of King Castle.
[12:03] Toshi
That's a rare choice.
[12:05] Toshi
So Yagami-san, are you a...
[12:08] Sa
It's King Furry!
[12:12] Gin
Yeah, that guy looked like a dog.
[12:14] Gin
Come to think of it, there were
a bunch of animal characters
[12:16] Gin
in the beginning, but it
turned into a humanoid
[12:18] ---
fest like a certain other manga...
[12:21] Kyu
Put yourself in Toriyama's shoes!
[12:25] Toshi
Yeah, Toriyama had a lot to...
[12:29] Kagura
Pororoca!
[12:33] Gin
Uh, hold on.
[12:34] Gin
Is it me or were those girls
beating us up for the hell of it?
[12:38] Toshi
That last one had nothing
to do with Dragonball.
[12:40] Toshi
Her timing would have been
perfect for a quiz show.
[12:42] Toshi
And I've been hit an extra time...
[12:45] Saigo
Sorry!
[12:46] Saigo
The correct answer was the Candiru,
[12:49] Saigo
the carnivorous catfish that
lives in the Amazon region!
[12:54] Toshi
Hey! What's wrong with those drunks?!
[12:56] Toshi
Do they have to smack us in the
head every time they talk?!
[12:59] Toshi
They aren't giving us a chance
to talk to the Madame!
[13:01] Gin
And why are we talking about
Dragonball with a woman?
[13:05] Toshi
I was trying to help you recover
from that Oolong tea crap!
[13:08] Toshi
What the hell is Dragonball fortune telling?!
[13:10] Toshi
You could have just asked what her type was!
[13:13] Tsu
King of King Castle!
[13:14] Sa
Colonel Silver!
[13:15] Otae
Bardock!
[13:16] Kyu
The female in Bardock's crew!
[13:17] Saigo
The joke with a power level of
five that's beaten up by Raditz!
[13:19] Kagura
Pororoca!
[13:20] Madame
Vegeta.
[13:25] Gin
Hey, we used Dragonball to get them
to tell us what their type is!
[13:28] Gin
And they all have weird taste!
[13:30] Toshi
One of them keeps saying Pororoca!
[13:32] Shin
Wasn't there an extra answer?
[13:39] All
She answered!
[13:42] Gin
Hey! The Madame is actually participating!
[13:44] Toshi
Which one?! Which one did she like?!
[13:46] Shin
I-It was probably Vegeta!
[13:48] Saigo
Oh, you like Vegeta?
[13:51] Saigo
A lot of women like Vegeta.
[13:54] Sa
It's the whole falling for the bad boy
[13:56] ---
after seeing him help a
puppy out of the rain.
[13:59] Shin
Wait! The girls are starting
a discussion about Vegeta!
[14:03] Sa
A lot of stupid women
fall for those bad boys.
[14:06] Sa
In most cases, they get knocked up, married,
[14:09] ---
and divorced in one breath.
[14:11] Otae
That relationship only worked
because Bulma was rich.
[14:14] Otae
Being a Super Saiyan doesn't mean
much if you don't have a job.
[14:18] Otae
And you can't say that he's gentle inside
[14:20] Otae
when he only ever cried because
of his pride as a Saiyan
[14:22] Otae
or because he was scared of Frieza.
[14:24] Otae
That man only cares about himself.
[14:27] All
Yeah, yeah.
[14:28] Shin
Vegeta is getting beat down!
[14:30] Shin
This is worse than when he got
his ass handed to him by Frieza!
[14:33] Kyu
As far as loners go, Piccolo is much better.
[14:37] Kyu
He cried before Gohan, and
he takes good care of kids.
[14:41] Tsu
But those shoulder pads would get in the way.
[14:43] Tsu
You can't latch onto his arm.
[14:45] Kyu
Vegeta has the same problem!
[14:46] Tsu
Vegeta wore normal clothes sometimes,
though they looked terrible.
[14:49] Shin
Stop it! You're making the Madame,
the Vegeta fan, look bad!
[14:52] Kagura
With that widow's peak, it
wouldn't matter what he wore.
[14:56] Kagura
He probably just threw on
whatever Bulma bought for him.
[14:59] All
Oh.
[15:01] Kagura
But I'm guessing he bought
the shirt that said BADMAN.
[15:06] All
Yeah, out of the question.
[15:08] All
Vegeta's out of the question.
[15:10] Shin
Stop!
[15:11] Shin
And how much time have you
people spent on Dragonball?!
[15:15] Gin
But Bulma looked happier
when she was with him,
[15:18] Gin
compared to when she was with Yamcha.
[15:21] Gin
Once Trunks was born, he settled down
[15:23] ---
and became a good father.
[15:25] Shin
He forced his way into the conversation!
[15:26] Shin
He dove right in, like a widow's peak!
[15:29] Gin
Oh, Yagami-san. Your glass is empty.
[15:31] Gin
Another Oolong Highball?
[15:32] Madame
Yes.
[15:33] Gin
Hey, TOSHI!
[15:35] Gin
Bring a Oolong Highball!
[15:39] Shin
Why are you recreating one
of Vegeta's famous scenes?!
[15:41] Shin
That's the famous farewell with Trunks!
[15:46] Otae
Imo shochu!
[15:47] Sa
Cassis Orange!
[15:48] Tsu
Japanese sake!
[15:49] Kyu
With soda!
[15:49] Saigo
Whiskey!
[15:50] Kagura
Pororoca!
[15:51] Shin
The famous scene had no effect!
[15:53] Shin
Vegeta can't do anything in this world!
[15:58] Madame
Heh, dirty fireworks.
[16:00] Shin
She joined in!
[16:02] Shin
The Madame is playing Vegeta!
[16:04] Shin
She's a pretty fun person!
[16:05] Shin
Hang in there!
[16:07] Shin
The Madame's heart is slowly opening!
[16:10] Toshi
But those drunks are still a problem.
[16:13] Toshi
We need to deal with them before
[16:15] ---
we can get anywhere with
the Madame, Kakarot...
[16:18] Shin
Uh, who are you calling Kakarot?
[16:21] Okita
Oh, ladies?
[16:24] Okita
What is this party for?
[16:26] Okita
A little get-together for models?
[16:29] Shin
S-SOUGO-san!
[16:31] Saigo
Please! You're such a sweet talker!
[16:35] Otae
This is just a supermodel powwow!
[16:38] Okita
Oh, forgive me.
[16:40] Okita
You're all so beautiful that I got confused.
[16:44] Toshi
H-He sidestepped them?
[16:47] Okita
Hey, what are you guys doing?
[16:49] Okita
Bring the goods.
[16:51] Toshi
The goods?
[16:52] Okita
The champagne tower that's actually
[16:56] Okita
filled with tequila!
[16:58] Both
Tequila tower?!
[17:06] Shin
I see!
[17:08] Shin
He's going to subdue them
by getting them drunk!
[17:12] Okita
Are you ready?
[17:13] All
Let's party!
[17:16] Shin
SOUGO-san...
[17:18] Shin
He's so evil that he doesn't
give a damn about abusing women.
[17:21] Shin
He's a prodigy host!
[17:31] Shin
You guys were the ones subdued?!
[17:33] Saigo
I've never had Dom Perignon before,
[17:36] Saigo
but it's almost like drinking water.
[17:38] Tsu
I need more booze! Bring the whole keg!
[17:41] Shin
The tequila isn't doing
anything to the women!
[17:43] Shin
They're too strong!
[17:45] Sa
Hey, Yagami-san! I know you want some more!
[17:47] Madame
No, I've had enough...
[17:50] Shin
Had enough?!
[17:52] Shin
How did she empty all of
those glasses so fast?!
[17:55] Madame
I've had quite a bit to drink,
so I will be leaving now.
[18:00] Shin
Er, hold on!
[18:03] Madame
I had a wonderful time tonight.
[18:06] Madame
Please let Kyoshiro-san know.
[18:08] Shin
Hold on! Why are you leaving?!
[18:11] Shin
Aren't you...
[18:13] Madame
I would not dare to see Kyoshiro-san
when my face is so flushed.
[18:19] Shin
You don't want to see him?
[18:22] Shin
So you didn't come back because
you didn't like the bar?
[18:29] Shin
You came to see Kyoshiro-san?
[18:31] Madame
So you have heard the stories.
[18:36] Madame
Unfortunately, I am no goddess of fortune,
[18:42] Madame
nor am I a goddess of death.
[18:48] Madame
Nor do I have the ability
to ruin an entire town.
[18:51] Madame
My obsession with the power of money left me
[18:54] ---
with no friends, no home.
[18:57] Madame
I never visited a bar twice
[19:00] Madame
because I didn't want people
tiptoeing around me.
[19:04] Madame
But at some point, I became famous around Edo
[19:07] Madame
and lost my only refuge.
[19:11] Madame
That was when I met Kyoshiro-sama.
[19:15] Madame
His smile was different
[19:17] ---
from the false ones that always greeted me.
[19:20] Madame
His smile was for everyone, not just me.
[19:25] Madame
I assume that was because
he loved his job as a host.
[19:32] Madame
His smile was very special to me.
[19:36] Madame
I returned to see that smile again.
[19:40] Madame
You must have come to
replace the hosts who quit.
[19:46] Madame
I truly apologize.
[19:50] Madame
Do not worry.
[19:51] Madame
The goddess of death
[19:53] ---
will never walk the night streets again.
[19:57] Madame
But it was very fun.
[20:00] Madame
I didn't get to see Kyoshiro-san,
[20:02] Madame
but I saw many smiles that
[20:04] ---
would turn away any goddess of death.
[20:17] Shin
Ya-Yagami-san...
[20:29] Kyoshiro
Ma'am, do you have any plans tonight?
[20:38] Kyoshiro
If not, why not drop by Takamagahara,
[20:42] ---
the refuge for angels, to rest your wings?
[20:47] Madame
I'm sorry to say that my wings are black,
[20:50] ---
as they only cause sorrow.
[20:53] Kyo
Oh, you sound like an angel of death.
[20:56] Kyo
However, I believe that particular
goddess has already left.
[21:02] Kyo
I've heard that Madame Yagami first appears
[21:06] ---
as a goddess of fortune,
[21:08] Kyo
then as a goddess of death
to bring misfortune.
[21:12] Kyo
Then what happens when
she visits a third time?
[21:25] Gin
Hey, we've been waiting for you.
[21:27] Gin
The drinks are on you this time.
[21:30] Hachi
Drinking buddies!
[21:31] Host
All lined up!
[21:35] Kyo
Welcome to Takamagahara.
[21:47] Madame
Heh, dirty fireworks.
SIGN Next Episode
[23:20] Gin
Jellybeans Vanguard Honda,
[23:23] Gin
is a Jump editor who's just
gotten married when a
[23:27] Gin
new promising manga artist
appears before him!
[23:30] Gin
Next time:
[23:30] Gin
Draw your life on the canvas we call manga.
SIGN Draw Your Life on the Canvas We Call Manga
SIGN Jellybeans Vanguard Honda has been assigned to Gintaman
SIGN To escape the despair which plagues him,
he must land the new artist a regular series!!
E243 - Draw your life on the canvas we call manga
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:30] Honda
Say...
[01:33] Honda
Could you stop having every
character start off hungry?
[01:37] Honda
You're the same as the other new artists.
[01:43] Honda
A hungry hero who saves
[01:45] ---
the village from the bad
guys because they fed him.
[01:48] Honda
Just like Zuffy from One Park.
[01:52] Honda
I understand that you like One Park.
[01:54] Honda
That doesn't make it okay to copy ideas.
[01:57] Honda
I wouldn't mind so much if you had an
[02:00] ---
original approach to the hungry hero.
[02:02] Honda
But it's clear that you're
borrowing elements
[02:05] ---
from many other series.
[02:08] Honda
Are you drawing manga to
express someone's ideas?
[02:13] Honda
Didn't you become a manga artist
to express your own ideas?
[02:16] Honda
In that case, you need to pour
your soul into every page.
[02:20] Honda
Put your life into your work!
[02:29] Honda
Jellybeans Vanguard Honda.
[02:32] Honda
I'm in my fifth year as a Jump editor.
[02:34] Honda
I am very worried.
[02:38] Honda
I have been assigned to the evil
[02:40] ---
which threatens to consume Jump,
[02:42] Honda
Gintaman, designated by the
Bakufu as a harmful manga.
[02:45] Honda
Gintaman has managed to
last for eight years,
[02:49] Honda
but in reality, it's just
the scribblings of a gorilla
[02:54] Honda
that has the backing of
animal rights activists.
[02:58] Honda
Look at the editors.
[02:59] Honda
The first editor, Konishi,
[03:00] Honda
ended up unable to say
anything but "Holy Cow!"
[03:06] Konishi
Holy cow!
[03:10] Honda
The second editor, Daito,
[03:12] ---
messed up his Samurai
Commando Mission 1549 date,
[03:18] Honda
so he turned to the world of
anime and never looked back.
[03:22] Daito
Strategy for survival!
[03:24] Honda
The third editor, elite Nakasaki,
[03:27] Honda
hurt his back at a party by
getting a little too elite.
[03:34] Honda
After enduring the hell
of strict deadlines,
[03:38] Honda
they all snapped.
[03:39] Honda
They are all kept in the
gorilla sanctuary now.
[03:44] Konishi
Holy cow!
[03:45] Daito
Please! Let me watch Madoka Magica!
[03:47] Naka
I'm elite!
[03:49] Naka
I'm not like them!
[03:51] Honda
My assignment to Gintaman was
[03:53] Honda
essentially a death sentence.
[03:59] A
I heard that Vanguard's
been sent to Gintaman.
[04:02] B
He just got married.
[04:03] B
Poor guy.
[04:05] Honda
I need to find a way to save my neck.
[04:09] Honda
That means I have to discover a new artist
[04:12] ---
so I can be moved off Gintaman.
[04:15] Honda
I've spent days searching
for an artist with promise,
[04:19] Honda
but the manga they drew
was only manga in name.
[04:25] Honda
Isn't there anyone out there
[04:28] ---
who's willing to pour their own words,
[04:30] Honda
their own thoughts, their
own life into their work?
[04:34] Honda
Is there anyone out there
[04:36] ---
to save me from my death,
[04:39] Honda
to save me from this dark prison?
[04:40] A
...guard-san.
[04:42] A
Vanguard-san.
[04:43] A
Vanguard-san!
[04:44] Honda
Oh, yes.
[04:46] A
Vanguard-san, someone named
N3016 is here to see you.
[04:50] Honda
O-Oh, let him in.
[04:52] A
Yes.
[04:55] Honda
N3016?
[04:57] Honda
Oh, it's the guy who drew that
[05:00] ---
juvenile crap for the Treasure award.
[05:02] Honda
Today is his first visit.
[05:04] Honda
Even his pen name is juvenile.
[05:07] A
Excuse us!
[05:08] Honda
Hm?
[05:12] C
N3016, get in here!
[05:17] N
I am prisoner number 3016.
[05:21] N
It is a pleasure to meet you.
SIGN Draw Your Life on the Canvas We Call Manga
[05:33] Honda
They brought me a real prisoner?!
[05:37] Honda
Instead of throwing me into prison,
[05:39] ---
they brought a prisoner to me!
[05:42] Honda
N-Nobody warned me about this!
[05:45] A
You've got 20 minutes.
[05:47] B
Any longer, and you'll be considered
[05:48] ---
a fugitive and shot on sight.
[05:50] Honda
Why did he bring all these guards with him
[05:53] ---
here to show me his manga?!
[05:55] Honda
And it sounds like he did
something really bad!
[05:58] N
Uh, I believe that we
spoke on the phone before
[06:04] N
when I was a finalist
for the Treasure award.
[06:06] N
Do you remember my manga
[06:08] N
about a Soul Reaper appearing
before a prisoner
[06:10] ---
who's about to kill himself?
[06:11] Honda
It was nonfiction?!
[06:13] Honda
We chose a complete
psycho to be a finalist!
[06:16] N
So I wanted to come see
you in person today.
[06:22] C
Drop the weapon, Shachi!
[06:24] Shachi
It's just a pen!
[06:25] C
A pen can be used as a weapon! Drop it now!
[06:28] Shachi
I-I can't do that!
[06:30] Shachi
I'm... I'm gonna become a manga artist!
[06:33] C
I'll wait three seconds!
[06:34] C
One! Two!
[06:35] C
Three!
[06:35] Gin
Shut up!
[06:37] Honda
What?! What now?!
[06:39] Shachi
Bro!
[06:40] D
Sakata-san!
[06:41] Gin
Why are you so scared of
a prisoner in handcuffs?
[06:44] Gin
Forget it.
[06:45] Gin
I'll keep an eye on him,
[06:47] Gin
so scram.
[06:48] D
If Sakata-san is here,
everything will be fine.
[06:51] D
Then we'll be having tea at Renoir.
[06:54] Gin
Sorry about all the fuss.
[06:56] Shachi
What took you so long, Bro?!
[06:58] ---
I was getting nervous.
[06:59] Honda
There's another weirdo here.
[07:01] Gin
Sorry about the late introduction.
[07:03] Gin
I am prisoner number 4264, the artist.
[07:07] Shachi
I am number 3016, the writer.
[07:11] Both
Together, we are Mute Ashirogi.
[07:14] Both
It's a pleasure to meet you.
[07:15] Honda
Is this Bakuman?!
[07:18] Honda
U-Uh, so the two of you work together?
[07:21] Gin
He used to do everything himself.
[07:24] Gin
But he was only a finalist, right?
[07:26] Gin
I happened to be in the same
prison as him for a short period,
[07:29] Gin
and he wanted the opinion of
a twenty-year Jump reader.
[07:33] Gin
The art is too dated.
[07:34] Shachi
What?! That's not true!
[07:36] Gin
Kids are sensitive to that stuff.
[07:38] Shachi
Then you draw it!
[07:40] Gin
So we ended up
[07:45] Gin
working together.
[07:47] Honda
A manga duo that met in a prison!
[07:50] Honda
I see...
[07:52] Honda
These dangerous criminals
can't draw shounen manga!
[07:55] Shachi
We fixed the issues you
mentioned in our phone call,
[07:59] ---
so could you take a look?
[08:01] Honda
Oh shit.
[08:02] ---
What will happen to me if
I say something is bad?
SIGN Revised Edition Ver 1.12 Mute Ashirogi
[08:06] Honda
Quick! Get this over with and leave!
[08:09] Honda
I'll try to give them advice
without antagonizing them...
[08:13] Shachi
So...
[08:14] Shachi
The original manga was a touching story
[08:16] Shachi
about a Soul Reaper appearing before
a prisoner about to kill himself
[08:19] Shachi
and using death to teach the prisoner about
[08:21] ---
the importance of life.
[08:23] Gin
The story was too gloomy,
[08:25] ---
and everyone had their sleeves ripped off.
[08:29] Gin
He was told to draw something
that wasn't so dark.
[08:35] Gin
So we
[08:36] Gin
changed things up.
[08:37] Honda
You just put shoulder pads
on all of the characters!
[08:43] Gin
And we changed two of the key characters,
[08:45] Gin
such as the Soul Reaper and
the warden, into girls,
[08:47] Gin
so now you have two heroines.
[08:49] Honda
The heroines are damn scary!
[08:51] Honda
And they have double shoulder pads!
[08:53] Honda
Are the shoulder pads the heroines?!
[08:57] Gin
The main character was thrown
[08:58] ---
in a women's prison for
some unknown reason,
[09:01] Gin
and now he spends his days
[09:03] ---
surrounded by the prison ladies.
[09:05] Gin
These days, Jump doesn't have
[09:08] ---
any series that make the readers hard.
[09:10] Honda
Pretty sure you've only
made their shoulders hard.
[09:14] Honda
S-So this is a prison harem story?
[09:17] Honda
That's new.
[09:18] Shachi
Right?
[09:19] Shachi
We did it, Bro!
[09:20] Shachi
But, Jump is aimed at grade
school and middle school boys,
[09:25] Shachi
and we don't want them
sympathizing with prisoners...
[09:27] Shachi
You got a problem with prisoners?!
[09:29] Shachi
We're all prisoners of society!
[09:33] Shachi
I'm busting my ass drawing manga here!
[09:36] Shachi
I spend all of the little time I have left
[09:39] Shachi
after slaving away for hours
on the chain gang on manga!
[09:42] Gin
Calm down, N3016.
[09:44] Gin
Vanguard-san knows that.
[09:48] Gin
However, we can't create a new
[09:49] ---
romantic comedy if you
oppose the prison setting.
[09:51] Gin
Then you would only have
school romantic comedies.
[09:54] Gin
The prison is what makes
this manga stand out.
[09:56] Gin
We can't give that up.
[09:58] Gin
But we can add some wardrobe malfunctions
[10:01] ---
to keep the kiddies happy.
[10:02] A
Oh, no! My shoulder pads fell off!
[10:05] Honda
Who gives a damn about
shoulder pads falling off?!
[10:08] Gin
And we'll follow Yabuki's example
with the tankoban releases
[10:10] Gin
by adding detail to the shoulder pads
[10:12] ---
and showing how tightly
they adhere to the skin.
[10:15] Honda
Forget that! Get rid of the shoulder pads!
[10:18] Honda
And this will never make
it to a tankoban release!
[10:20] Honda
But if you want to do
[10:22] ---
a romantic comedy, the art
needs a little work...
[10:24] Honda
The girls are just a little
too beefy, I think.
[10:29] Shachi
Yeah, Bro's art is too animated
for a romantic comedy.
[10:34] Honda
I'd say his art is too
crappy for a manga artist!
[10:36] Gin
Really? Maybe it's because I'm
a fan of the older Jump style.
[10:41] Shachi
Maybe a different pen would help?
[10:45] Honda
No, it's not that.
[10:46] ---
The shoulder pads are a big problem.
[10:49] Honda
Uh, I believe you should
[10:51] ---
completely start over with
the female characters.
[10:54] Honda
Do you have any concept
art for the heroines?
[10:56] Gin
Oh, I sure do.
[10:59] Honda
This is more like concept
art for the shoulder pads!
[11:03] Gin
Right Wing 1.
[11:04] Gin
Stores a carbon whip that
shuts up any noisy kid.
[11:07] Gin
Can cow any rowdy prisoner.
[11:09] Honda
Storage?
[11:11] Honda
These shoulder pads are used for storage?!
[11:13] Gin
Right Wing 2.
[11:14] Gin
Armed with an auto-turret that will
[11:16] ---
clear any enemies on your right side.
[11:19] Honda
Of course. It only hits
enemies on the right side.
[11:21] Honda
It's on her right, so it only
works on the right side!
[11:24] Gin
Left Wing 1.
[11:25] Gin
Stores an extremely powerful stun gun
[11:27] ---
that can instantly knock out an elephant.
[11:29] Gin
And now for the Left Wing 2!
[11:31] Honda
Hidden?! It was hidden?!
[11:33] Gin
The warden is still a girl.
[11:35] Gin
She uses this hairbrush
to take care of her hair.
[11:37] Honda
Now we find out she's
actually fashion conscious!
[11:39] Honda
Of course! She's still a girl!
[11:42] Gin
And the shoulder pads can be removed.
[11:44] Honda
Metamorphosis?
[11:45] Honda
How much time did you spend
on the shoulder pads?!
[11:47] Honda
Why are these shoulder pads
starting to resemble the Cloths?!
[11:50] Honda
Isn't this supposed to
be a romantic comedy?!
[11:52] Gin
Since this is a Jump manga, we
wanted to incorporate battles.
[11:56] Gin
Now take the Soul Reaper heroine.
[11:58] Honda
What are Zanpakupads?
[12:01] Shachi
Right Wing.
[12:01] Shachi
A strange blade which grows in parallel
to the user's spiritual power.
[12:04] Shachi
Vital for every Soul Reaper.
[12:06] Gin
Left Wing.
[12:07] Gin
Used for draining spiritual
power when you're running low.
[12:09] Honda
You guys are ripping off everything
under the sun with your shoulder pads!
[12:13] Honda
Wh-What am I supposed to do...
[12:14] Gin
What's wrong?
[12:16] Gin
Do you want me to make my
art look worse on purpose?
[12:18] Shachi
Yeah, artists don't draw
this much detail these days.
[12:23] Honda
They're copycats, but I can't
tell them to remove the
[12:26] Honda
shoulder pads after they put
all that effort into them.
[12:28] Shachi
The heroines didn't seem that
macho in the initial sketches.
[12:32] Gin
The initial sketches were nothing
more than a few scribbles.
[12:35] Gin
Can't make any judgments off that.
[12:36] Honda
Oh, so N3016 did the rough sketch,
[12:40] Honda
and N4264 did the outlining.
[12:43] Gin
Yes, since the prison
didn't allow felt pens.
[12:47] Honda
Oh, so that's why the submission for the
[12:49] ---
Treasure Award was a rough sketch.
[12:50] Gin
Look at his crappy drawings.
[12:53] Gin
You have no idea how hard it
was for me to correct this.
[12:56] Warden
You're headed to the disciplinary room!
[12:57] Warden
You're headed to the disciplinary room!
[12:57] Honda
Uh, was the pen you used
covered in mud or something?!
[13:01] Shachi
It's embarrassing, so don't
compare my art to Bro's!
[13:03] Honda
They should switch roles!
[13:07] Honda
And the guy with an ugly
face can draw some cute art!
[13:10] Honda
He's made a ton of progress!
[13:13] Honda
He's a genius, if you
ignore the shoulder pads!
[13:15] Honda
I-I understand.
[13:17] Honda
Then let's have the two of you swap roles
[13:19] ---
on the next submission.
[13:21] Both
Huh?!
[13:22] Honda
Well, it's good now, but I'm
[13:24] ---
interested in seeing what else you can do.
[13:27] Shachi
But I don't know how to use a mapping pen
[13:29] Shachi
since I've been a model prisoner!
[13:31] Honda
Uh, you don't have to use a mapping pen.
[13:35] Honda
N4264 writes the story
[13:37] Honda
and N3016 draws a rough sketch off that.
[13:41] Honda
Then you just have to fax it to me.
[13:44] Shachi
Seriously?! My art can't
compare with Bro's!
[13:48] Honda
No, I guarantee that your art is better.
[13:51] Gin
Well, this might help him
realize how hard my job is.
[13:53] Gin
Sounds like fun. Let's do it.
[13:55] Honda
Why are you so arrogant?!
[13:58] Honda
You're the one holding back this manga!
SIGN Shueisha
[14:01] Shachi
Thank you very much for seeing us today.
[14:04] Shachi
We'll fax you our next work,
so please give us a chance.
[14:06] Honda
Yes, I'm looking forward to seeing it.
[14:10] Honda
With that art, and a story
that lays his own life bare...
[14:16] Honda
There are many obstacles
ahead, but it's possible that
[14:21] Honda
I've found an incredible talent.
[14:32] A
Vanguard-san, you have a fax.
[14:35] Honda
The gorilla finally finished?
[14:37] C
Oh, no. It's from someone
named Mute Ashirogi.
SIGN Jump Editing Department Mr. Vanguard We finished our first draft. Please have a look.
[14:41] Honda
What? It only took them one day?
[14:43] Honda
These newbies are so much
faster than the gorilla.
[14:48] Honda
Let's see. What's the title?
[14:50] Honda
God of Death?
[14:52] Honda
So they focused on the
[14:53] ---
reaper aspect instead of the prison theme.
[14:56] Honda
Huh? There's more below?
SIGN Prison of Death
[14:58] Honda
Oh, so it hasn't been finalized.
[15:00] Honda
Looks like they were shifting between
SIGN Death Prison Death PriDeath
[15:01] ---
the reaper and prison themes.
SIGN PriDeath PriDeath Death PriPri Death
[15:04] Honda
Er, I don't like where this is going.
[15:08] Honda
You don't want to start
mixing and matching words.
SIGN Death PriPri Death PriPriDeath
SIGN CHAGE here.
[15:13] Honda
This has nothing to do
with reapers or prisons.
SIGN ASKA here.
[15:17] Honda
What happened to the death and pripri?
SIGN CHAGE & ASKA here.
[15:20] Honda
Why is this like the intro
for a CHAGE & ASKA concert?
SIGN ASKA & CHAGE here.
[15:23] Honda
Who cares about the order?!
SIGN ASKA & CHAGE & ASKA here.
[15:25] Honda
Don't put CHAGE in between two ASKAs!
SIGN ASKA & CHAGE & ASKA here.
[15:28] Honda
Staggering it doesn't help!
SIGN CHAGE DEATH ASKA
[15:30] Honda
Why are you bringing death
back into the title?!
SIGN CHAGETH NOTE
[15:32] Honda
And now this is just completely wrong!
[15:35] Honda
What is this CHAGETH NOTE?
[15:37] Honda
Does something bad happen
[15:38] ---
if you write someone's name in it?
[15:42] Chage
Damn, practice ran late.
[15:45] Chage
My shoulders are starved.
[15:46] Honda
Shoulders are starved? They're huge!
[15:49] Honda
They're sticking out of the panel!
[15:50] Honda
And this no longer has
[15:52] ---
anything to do with reapers or prisons.
[15:53] Honda
But why did they keep the shoulder pads?
[15:56] Chage
Man, the moon is creeping me out tonight.
[15:58] Chage
Feels like something's going
to pop out of the shadows.
[16:00] Honda
Uh, your creepy shoulders
are blocking the moon.
[16:04] Honda
And those shoulders limit the space
[16:06] ---
he has for everything else!
[16:08] Chage
Oh, dog poop.
[16:09] Honda
Why are you using a huge panel
for such a pointless scene?!
[16:13] Honda
How long is this going to continue?!
[16:16] Chage
Wh-What is this CHAGETH NOTE?!
[16:18] Honda
He sounds surprised, but
he already knows the name?
[16:22] Chage
There's a name inside...
SIGN ASKA RYO
[16:22] Honda
Hey! ASKA's name's in there!
[16:24] Honda
Who put it there?
[16:25] Honda
CHAGE?
[16:25] Honda
Did CHAGE write that?
[16:27] Honda
ASKA, Inaba, Shimura, Kaku-san?
[16:29] Honda
These are all names of people who get
[16:30] ---
the most attention in
their respective groups.
[16:32] Honda
That list of names is scaring me! Stop it!
[16:35] Honda
Don't cause any scandals!
[16:37] Ryu
You weren't supposed to see that!
[16:40] Honda
And why are you doing math on here?!
[16:42] Honda
Don't scribble on a draft!
[16:44] Honda
You're shaky on your sevens?!
[16:46] Honda
Y-You're...
SIGN Mute Ashirogi
[16:47] Honda
I can't focus on the manga!
[16:50] Honda
You don't need to practice your signature!
[16:52] Honda
Nobody's interested in your signature!
[16:54] Ryu
I am Ryuko, a God of Death.
[16:56] Gin
Kagura, I made fried race so you
can microwave that for dinner.
[16:59] Honda
They drew this important
scene on an old note?!
[17:02] Honda
The heroine's face is
covered by fried rice!
[17:05] Honda
And they've perfected their signature!
[17:07] Gin
Mute Ashirogi!
[17:09] Chage
A God of Death?!
[17:10] Kagura
Next time, I want BBQ
instead of boiled ham.
[17:13] Kagura
But I still loved it to DEATH.
[17:14] Kagura
-Kagura
[17:15] Honda
Don't use the manga to reply!
[17:18] Honda
Do they not care about this draft?!
[17:20] Shin
Gin-san, Otose-san dropped
by for rent today.
[17:24] Shin
-Shinpachi
[17:24] Honda
Don't turn this manga into a message board!
[17:28] Gin
Oh, then I'll make myself scarce.
[17:30] Honda
If you're in the same room,
[17:32] ---
you can talk to each other directly!
[17:34] Honda
Wait up.
[17:36] Honda
What happened while those fools
were talking to each other?
[17:39] Honda
We're back in a prison again!
[17:42] Chage
This was my only solution.
[17:44] Chage
I could never write someone's name
[17:46] ---
in this notebook and CHAGE them.
[17:47] Honda
What does that even mean?
[17:50] Chage
I've fallen in love with
both Ryuko and Wardena.
[17:54] Honda
That never happened...
[17:56] Chage
In order to make one
happy, I had to CHAGE the
[17:59] ---
other so she would barely remember me.
[18:02] Honda
Apologize to CHAGE!
[18:03] Wardena
If that's what it takes
for you to be happy,
[18:06] ---
you can CHAGE me.
[18:08] Wardena
But I'll always ASKA you.
[18:11] Honda
Hey! The shoulder pads pushed her face
[18:13] ---
off the page in this critical scene!
[18:15] Wardena
You better make him happy,
[18:17] ---
or I'll send you to the disciplinary room!
[18:18] Honda
Who's talking?
[18:20] ---
Whose shoulder pads are these?
[18:22] Chage
I can't make one of them
[18:24] ---
forget me to make the other happy.
[18:27] Chage
Because I need both of them...
[18:32] Chage
Both CHAGE & ASKA.
SIGN CHAGEsuke.
[18:34] Honda
Now it's kind of a touching story?
[18:37] Chage
This was for the best...
[18:39] Chage
I could only protect them
by making them forget me.
[18:41] Honda
Why would that land you in prison?!
[18:44] D
Hey, what's your name?
[18:47] Chage
Beats me. I can't even remember now.
[18:50] D
There's a letter for you.
[18:53] Chage
It was
[18:55] Chage
from the people around the
[18:56] ---
world who should have forgotten about me.
[19:00] Chage
A love letter that should never
[19:03] ---
have been able to reach me...
[19:04] Otose
Gintoki, I've taken your
furniture as collateral.
[19:08] Otose
Never come back.
[19:09] Otose
-Otose
[19:15] Honda
You know....
[19:17] Honda
When a story starts off with
a hungry main character,
[19:21] Honda
it must be great!
[19:23] Honda
Now is the time to copy other manga
[19:25] ---
and use what you can!
[19:28] Honda
Don't bother with originality!
[19:31] Honda
Don't bother using your
own life experiences!
[19:33] D
Hey, who's Vanguard talking to?
[19:36] E
Beats me.
[19:37] ---
I heard that he committed himself
to the gorilla sanctuary.
[19:41] D
Why?
[19:42] E
Because wild gorillas are scarier.
[19:44] Konishi
Holy cow!
[19:46] Daito
Please! Let me watch Utena!
[19:48] Nakazaki
I'm not like these scum!
[19:50] Honda
Jellybeans!
[21:28] Chage
Damn, practice ran late.
[21:32] Chage
My shoulders are starved.
[21:33] Chage
Man, the moon is creeping me out tonight.
[21:35] Chage
Feels like something's going
to pop out of the shadows.
[21:36] Chage
Oh, dog poop.
[21:38] Chage
Wh-What is this CHAGETH NOTE?!
SIGN ASKA RYO
[21:40] Chage
There's a name inside...
[21:41] Honda
ASKA, Inaba, Shimura, Kaku-san?
[21:43] Honda
These are all names of people who get
[21:44] ---
the most attention in
their respective groups.
[21:45] Ryu
You weren't supposed to see that!
[21:47] Honda
Y-You're...
SIGN Mute Ashirogi
[21:49] Ryu
I am Ryuko, a God of Death.
SIGN Kagura, I made fried rice so you can microwave that for dinner.
Mute Ashirogi
[21:51] Chage
Next time, I want BBQ
instead of boiled ham.
[21:53] Chage
But I still loved it to DEATH.
[21:54] Chage
-Kagura
[21:55] Ryuko
Gin-san, Otose-san dropped
by for rent today.
[21:57] Ryuko
-Shinpachi
[21:58] Gin
Oh, then I'll make myself scarce.
[22:00] Chage
This was my only solution.
[22:02] Chage
I could never write someone's name
[22:03] ---
in this notebook and CHAGE them.
[22:07] Chage
I've fallen in love with
both Ryuko and Wardena.
[22:10] Chage
In order to make one happy, I had to CHAGE
[22:12] ---
the other so she would barely remember me.
[22:15] Ryu
If that's what it takes
for you to be happy,
[22:17] ---
you can CHAGE me.
[22:18] Ryu
But I'll always ASKA you.
[22:20] Wardena
You better make him happy,
[22:22] ---
or I'll send you to the disciplinary room!
[22:23] Chage
I can't make one of them
[22:25] ---
forget me to make the other happy.
[22:27] Chage
Because I need both of them...
SIGN CHAGEsuke.
[22:30] Chage
Both CHAGE & ASKA.
[22:32] Chage
This was for the best...
[22:33] Chage
I could only protect them
by making them forget me.
[22:36] D
Hey, what's your name?
[22:37] Chage
Beats me. I can't even remember now.
[22:40] D
There's a letter for you.
[22:41] Chage
It was
[22:42] Chage
from the people around the
[22:43] ---
world who should have forgotten about me.
[22:45] Chage
A love letter that should never
have been able to reach me...
[22:47] Ryu
Gintoki, I've taken your
furniture as collateral.
[22:49] Ryu
Never come back.
[22:50] Ryu
-Otose
SIGN The End
SIGN Next Episode
[22:58] Kondo
You ever heard the name Thorny?
[23:00] Kondo
It's for nasty kids that prick
you if you get too close.
[23:05] Kondo
That's what we called the
bad boys where I come from.
SIGN Thorny Arc
[23:11] ---
Next Episode
[23:12] Okita
Fine, let him in my first squad.
[23:15] Okita
I'll send him straight into a
battle and straight to his grave.
[23:18] Tetsu
Yeah!
[23:19] Isabu
I'm a fan of the Shinsengumi.
[23:22] Toshi
Are you people...
[23:24] Isabu
Captain of the Mimawarigumi,
Isaburo Sasaki.
[23:28] Toshi
Unfortunately, Thorny's
the only mode I play.
SIGN Check It Out!!
SIGN Hijikata's past is revealed... And the Shinsengumi are pitted against the Mimawarigumi!!
SIGN The Thorny arc starts next week. Check it out!!
E244 - Check it out!!
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN From Thorny
[01:49] Toshi
Sasaki Tetsunosuke?
[01:52] Kondo
Yeah, he's a member of
the famous Sasaki family
[01:54] Kondo
that produces all those
elite members of society.
[01:57] Kondo
But for some reason,
[01:59] ---
he's the only failure who screws around
[02:01] ---
and doesn't have a job.
[02:02] Kondo
He was becoming a problem,
so we took him in.
[02:07] Okita
So basically,
[02:08] ---
he's a spoiled brat who was
forsaken by his parents
[02:10] Okita
because they didn't want to look bad.
[02:12] Toshi
Kondo-san, this isn't a juvie.
[02:15] Toshi
You should turn him over to those
other cops, the Mimawarigumi.
[02:18] Tetsu
Yeah, it's me.
[02:20] Toshi
They're a bunch of elite
cops from famous families.
[02:20] Tetsu
I'm in a dojo or something right now.
[02:23] Tetsu
This is lame.
[02:23] Toshi
Isn't their leader a Sasaki?
[02:25] Tetsu
Can I go home?
[02:27] Okita
They probably kept shuffling him
[02:29] ---
around until he ended up here.
[02:31] Okita
Fine, let him in my first squad.
[02:34] Okita
I'll send him straight into a
battle and straight to his grave.
[02:38] Kondo
No, the higher-ups won't be happy
if something happens to him.
[02:41] Toshi
Then we can give him
some menial tasks to do.
[02:43] Kondo
No, he'll start whining.
[02:45] Kondo
Right, Toshi!
[02:47] Kondo
You mentioned that you
had a bunch of busy work
[02:48] Kondo
that you wanted to
delegate to an assistant.
SIGN Check It Out!!
[02:58] Tetsu
Yo, I'm Tetsu.
[03:01] Tetsu
Uh, your name is Toshikata?
[03:04] Tetsu
No idea what an assistant does,
[03:07] Tetsu
but I guess I just have to lay
the smackdown on that Joi gang?
[03:10] Tetsu
Nobody beats me in a fight, fo' shizzle.
[03:15] Tetsu
It's not my policy to listen
to anyone weaker than me.
[03:20] Tetsu
I don't follow anyone else's rules.
[03:22] Tetsu
We're all born equal and free.
[03:25] Tetsu
Then you got your friends
and your enemies.
[03:28] Tetsu
So if you try to boss me around,
I'll go beast on your ass.
[03:32] Tetsu
Watch yourself, 'kay?
[03:33] Tetsu
I might lose control.
[03:35] Tetsu
Be fair, be square.
[03:37] Tetsu
We cool, Toshi?
[03:39] Tetsu
Yeah!
[03:44] Toshi
Hey, you little prick.
[03:45] Toshi
Don't chew when you're
introducing yourself.
[03:47] Toshi
I got enough of your type in
the 17th volume of Oishinbo!
[03:52] Toshi
And why is one pant leg rolled up?
[03:55] Toshi
I think one leg is
shorter than the other?
[03:59] Toshi
There, now they're the
same length! Oh, boy.
[04:02] Toshi
Listen up.
[04:03] Toshi
You're on our turf, so
you follow our rules.
[04:06] Toshi
For dumb boys like you,
one slip and it's seppuku time!
[04:11] Toshi
Doesn't matter who your dad is!
[04:13] Toshi
I'll send your head flying
all the way to your dad!
[04:17] Toshi
Yeah! We cool, Tetsu.
[04:20] Tetsu
We BFFs now, yeah!
[04:23] Toshi
Yeah.
[04:24] Tetsu
Well, let me know when
there's a fight going down.
[04:27] Tetsu
I'll bring all my buddies.
[04:29] Toshi
Appreciate it.
[04:38] Kondo
If we kick him out, he
won't have anywhere to go.
[04:41] Kondo
Just go easy on him.
[04:43] Kondo
It'll take time to work him in.
[04:46] Toshi
It'll take time? How much time?
[04:49] Toshi
How am I supposed to stop myself
from killing him before then?
[04:58] Yama
Vice chief, I heard
you got an assistant?
[05:01] Toshi
Y-Yeah...
[05:02] Yama
That's great.
[05:04] Yama
You've mentioned how
busy you always are.
[05:06] Yama
So where is he?
[05:08] Toshi
I have him running errands.
[05:11] A
Sweet curry?
[05:13] A
Spicy curry?
[05:14] Tetsu
Yeah!
[05:16] Yama
Uh, that corner of the
room is oozing New York.
[05:17] Tetsu
I'll do sweet curry. You do spicy curry.
[05:20] Tetsu
Good stuff.
[05:21] Yama
Excuse me.
[05:21] Yama
Could you give me my curry?
[05:24] Yama
Uh, what? What are you doing?
[05:27] A
Hey, hey, hey!!
[05:28] Yama
What?!
[05:29] Yama
I don't have any money on me!
[05:30] Yama
All I have is a plate of rice!
[05:32] A
Hey!
[05:37] Yama
Why are they acting like this
is some kind of drug deal?!
[05:40] Tetsu
Cherry boy!
[05:42] Yama
Don't call me a cherry boy!
[05:43] Yama
How can you even tell?!
SIGN Mayonnaise five days a week! -Hijikata
[05:48] Yama
Hey! What did you slip in my pocket?!
[05:50] Yama
No, thanks!
[05:51] Yama
I don't need your goods!
[05:52] Yama
Hey! Stop it!
[05:54] Yama
Wait! It's curry?!
[05:55] Yama
Effin'!
[05:58] Kondo
No, no, no, no!
[06:00] Kondo
You're not supposed to
swing with your wrist!
[06:03] Kondo
Use your entire body to swing!
[06:05] Kondo
The sword requires concentration!
[06:06] Kondo
Hold your breath!
[06:07] Kondo
Then swing for everything you're worth!
[06:09] Kondo
This isn't some wimpy sport!
[06:11] Kondo
Fancy tricks won't get you anywhere!
[06:18] A
Hey, hey! Pass!
[06:20] B
Gorilla, come on!
[06:24] Kondo
I'll repeat myself!
[06:26] Kondo
Fancy tricks...
[06:27] A
Hey, hey! Gorilla!
[06:28] B
Gorilla, pass!
[06:32] Kondo
Listen up!
[06:33] Kondo
I'll repeat myself one last time!
[06:35] Kondo
Your left hand is only
there for support!
[06:37] All
Nice shot!
[06:42] Toshi
Hey, Tetsu.
[06:44] Toshi
Can you turn it down a bit?
[06:46] Tetsu
What? I can't hear you.
[06:49] Toshi
Can you turn it down?!
[06:51] Tetsu
Okay, okay!
[06:53] Tetsu
So you're also a fan
of these crazy lyrics.
[06:56] Toshi
No, Toshi hates hip-hop.
[06:59] Tetsu
Shit! What are you doing, Toshi?
[07:02] Toshi
Hey, Tetsu.
[07:03] Toshi
You can't keep doing this forever.
[07:12] Toshi
This is your last chance.
[07:15] Toshi
I'm sure you've realized
that you'll never get
[07:18] ---
anywhere in society like this.
[07:20] Tetsu
Shit, I don't need another lecture.
[07:23] Tetsu
You can't boss me around.
[07:26] Tetsu
This is how I choose to live.
[07:29] Toshi
If you run into a wall and pretend
[07:31] ---
it doesn't exist, you'll
never make any progress.
[07:36] Toshi
The wall will never change.
[07:38] Toshi
So you're the one who has to change.
[07:41] Toshi
Right now, you're just rattling
off excuses at the wall.
[07:47] Toshi
You're nothing more than a kid.
[07:49] Toshi
Before, you might have
gotten away with that.
[07:52] Toshi
But in our line of work,
one wrong move and you die.
[07:58] Toshi
If you're going to drag
down the Shinsengumi,
[08:00] ---
I'll have to cut you down.
[08:03] Toshi
When a warrior fails his
duty, he commits seppuku.
[08:05] Toshi
We used to be as dumb as you,
[08:08] Toshi
but we were able to make it this far.
[08:13] Tetsu
Then cut me down.
[08:16] Tetsu
I can never be like my brother.
[08:18] Tetsu
I don't belong with the Sasaki family,
[08:20] ---
and I don't belong here.
[08:22] Tetsu
I was born a failure.
[08:25] Tetsu
So I'll live as I please
and die as I please!
[08:29] Tetsu
Nobody can stop me! Yeah!
[08:31] Toshi
Cut it out!
[08:33] Toshi
Stop! Stop the car!
[08:37] Tetsu
Yo, big guy!
[08:38] Tetsu
Whatcha looking at?!
[08:40] Tetsu
Got a problem?!
[08:42] Toshi
Hey, stop it!
[08:43] Tetsu
I got news for you!
[08:44] Tetsu
Imma cop! You'a flop!
[08:47] Tetsu
Into the slammer you drop!
[08:48] Tetsu
Yeah!
[08:49] Gin
Huh? What?
[08:51] Gin
What was that?
[08:56] Toshi
Bad idea, Tetsu!
[08:57] Toshi
You don't want to mess with him!
[08:58] Toshi
He ain't nothing like the flimsy
walls you've been running into to!
[09:00] Toshi
He's rotten to the core!
[09:01] Tetsu
Listen up, yo!
[09:02] Tetsu
Imma cop! You'a flop!
[09:05] Tetsu
Into the slammer you drop!
[09:06] Gin
No, I heard that part.
[09:08] Gin
What did you say after that?
[09:09] Tetsu
Yeah!
[09:10] Gin
Huh? Yes?
[09:12] Tetsu
I said yeah!
[09:13] Toshi
Uh, that was the least important part!
[09:15] Gin
I can't hear a thing over this racket.
[09:17] Tetsu
No!
[09:18] Tetsu
Fuck!
[09:19] Gin
Eh? Did you say fuck?!
[09:21] Gin
Did you just call me a fuck, bitch?!
[09:23] A
Fucking jump!
[09:24] B
Fucking crazy monkey!
[09:26] Gin
Don't call me a Fashion Leader!
[09:28] Gin
I know what you're trying
to pull, frickin' Dankan!
[09:31] Toshi
Nobody has any idea what
you're talking about!
[09:32] Toshi
Nobody said anything about fashion!
[09:34] Toshi
Hey! Stop messing around
in the middle of the street!
[09:37] Tetsu
Shut up!
[09:38] Tetsu
I'm gonna make fuckin' Curly here pay!
[09:41] Gin
Don't make fun of my curls!
[09:42] Gin
Though I can understand
why you're jealous.
[09:44] Tetsu
I challenge you to a dissin' rap battle.
[09:47] Tetsu
I'll embarrass you so you can never
show your face in this town again!
[09:52] Toshi
Hey, they're doing something over there!
[09:54] Toshi
Why are they dancing in
the middle of the street?
[09:56] Tetsu
Yo, yo. Tell me where your momma's from.
[10:00] Tetsu
Shimane? Akabane?
Shirogane? Kingdom come?
[10:03] Tetsu
Wait, have you seen my underwear, bum?
[10:10] Toshi
Why are you joining in?!
[10:12] Toshi
You're gonna punch him?!
[10:13] Toshi
Is that how this battle works?!
[10:14] Gin
Yo, yo. You tell me
where your momma's from?
[10:18] Gin
Chris? Fifi? Mori? Kawai?
[10:21] Toshi
Who are you trying to diss?!
[10:22] Toshi
Is this a not-so-subtle jab
at their horsey faces?!
[10:25] Gin
Wait, your underwear was
in the pool, Fakina!
[10:29] Toshi
You had his underwear?!
[10:30] Tetsu
Effin'!
[10:33] Man
What was that for?!
[10:36] Toshi
Why are you celebrating?!
[10:38] Toshi
Aren't you supposed to be friends?!
[10:40] Toshi
A total stranger has joined in!
[10:43] Tetsu
I lose, bro.
[10:44] Toshi
To who? You're all losers in my mind.
[10:47] Tetsu
Will you do another collaboration
with me one day?
[10:51] Gin
Huh? What? What was that?
[10:54] Tetsu
B–
[10:54] Tetsu
Bro!
[11:04] A
Suspect arrested at 3:40 PM
[11:07] A
for interfering with an investigation.
[11:08] Toshi
What?
[11:10] Toshi
You guys are...
[11:11] Isabu
Were we not needed?
[11:14] Isabu
Forgive me.
[11:16] Isabu
I didn't mean to trespass on
the Shinsengumi's territory,
[11:19] Isabu
but I couldn't allow that
villain to sully your name,
[11:24] Isabu
for I am a fan of the Shinsengumi.
[11:28] Toshi
That uniform...
[11:30] Toshi
You guys are...
[11:31] Isabu
I am honored, as a
fellow defender of Edo,
[11:35] ---
that the infamous vice
chief recognizes us.
[11:39] Isabu
I am the chief of the
Mimawarigumi, Isaburo Sasaki.
[11:44] Toshi
The Mimawarigumi...
[11:45] Isabu
Our uniform was based off of yours.
[11:50] Isabu
You can see that I am a rabid fan.
[11:55] Isabu
I've added my number to your
address book under Sabu-chan.
[11:58] Isabu
Feel free to message me when you want.
[12:00] Toshi
My phone!
[12:01] Isabu
I'll add you as Toshi-chan.
[12:04] Toshi
B-Bastard!
[12:05] Isabu
Oh, forgive me.
[12:07] Isabu
I don't have many friends, so
I lost myself for a moment.
[12:11] Isabu
Please don't get the wrong idea.
[12:13] Isabu
Like I've been saying, I am
a fan of the Shinsengumi.
[12:17] Isabu
Your organization is
a miracle in itself.
[12:21] Isabu
Penniless beggars with no
pedigree or training to speak of
[12:25] Isabu
banded together to keep
Edo safe. A touching tale.
[12:31] Isabu
I thought you might be able to
[12:35] ---
do something with the
Sasaki family's failure,
[12:38] Isabu
but it appears that he didn't
belong with you either.
[12:43] Isabu
I believe that the Shinsengumi require
[12:45] Isabu
any member who breaks their
code to commit seppuku.
[12:50] Isabu
You don't need to fear
the Sasaki family.
[12:52] Isabu
Feel free to cut him
down whenever you want.
[12:55] Isabu
We don't need this stain on
the Sasaki family's honor.
[13:00] Isabu
Worry not.
[13:02] Isabu
I've already deleted the mistress's son
[13:04] ---
from my address book.
[13:11] Toshi
Sorry.
[13:12] Toshi
I deleted my address too.
[13:15] Toshi
Along with the address of
my excellent pupil here.
[13:18] Tetsu
Toshi...
[13:20] Toshi
You see, I only have
room in my address book
[13:23] ---
for Thorny boys.
[13:38] A
Hey, have you heard?
[13:39] A
The vice chief had a run-in
with the Mimawarigumi.
[13:42] B
I've been hearing a lot
about them recently.
[13:45] A
Yeah, they're a new force,
[13:48] A
but they've already accomplished more
[13:50] A
than a lot of other
police organizations.
[13:52] A
And I've heard that their chief,
Isaburo Sasaki, is incredible.
[13:57] A
He's the heir to the Sasaki family.
[14:00] A
He can fight with two swords.
[14:01] A
And his skill with the pen is no less.
[14:02] A
A master of three weapons.
[14:04] A
They say the Bakufu
relies heavily on him.
[14:07] B
Speaking of which, the vice chief's
new assistant is a Sasaki.
[14:11] A
Yeah, they're half brothers.
[14:15] A
I heard that the vice
chief was defending him.
[14:18] B
Seriously?
[14:19] B
I figured the vice chief
would have gutted him
[14:21] ---
already for his behavior.
[14:23] A
Got that right.
[14:43] Tetsu
Excuse me, senpai!
[14:45] Tetsu
If it wouldn't trouble you too much,
[14:47] Tetsu
could you allow me to use
[14:48] ---
the vending machine behind you?!
[14:50] Both
Huh?
[14:51] Tetsu
My apologies.
[14:53] Tetsu
I've been entrusted by the vice
chief with an urgent mission.
[14:58] Tetsu
Uh, I think he wanted Mayoston Lights.
[15:00] Tetsu
Huh? Did he want menthols?
[15:02] Tetsu
No, wait. There's an urban myth
[15:04] ---
that menthols can cause impotence.
[15:06] Tetsu
I can't let the vice
chief become impotent!
[15:08] Tetsu
No, wait!
[15:09] Tetsu
Smoking is bad for the lungs,
[15:12] Tetsu
and the smoke is harmful
to other people,
[15:14] ---
especially infants, children, and the elderly.
[15:17] Tetsu
I can't let the vice chief become
an impotent cancer-ridden murderer!
[15:20] Tetsu
Damn! What do I do?!
[15:22] Tetsu
I know!
[15:23] Tetsu
If I buy him one of those instead,
[15:24] ---
he won't become impotent!
He'll become happy!
[15:27] Tetsu
But wait! This is bad for kids!
[15:29] Toshi
Just buy my damn cigarettes!
[15:32] Toshi
And I didn't ask for
Mayoston or menthols.
[15:34] Toshi
I wanted Mayoboros, got it?
[15:35] Tetsu
Yes, vice chief sir!
[15:37] B
Uh, Vice Chief?
[15:39] Toshi
Why are you standing around?
I'll make you commit seppuku.
[15:41] A
Yeah, we can do that later,
[15:44] A
but who is that?
[15:46] Toshi
Are you asleep?
[15:47] ---
I already introduced him.
[15:48] Toshi
He's my new assistant.
[15:50] Tetsu
Tetsunosuke Sasaki!
[15:53] B
Wait, I've never met this guy before!
[15:55] Tetsu
I apologize.
[15:57] Tetsu
I was embarrassed by my baby
face, so I wore sunglasses.
[16:01] A
Wait, sunglasses have nothing
to do with facial hair!
[16:05] Tetsu
After doing some thinking,
[16:07] Tetsu
I've said goodbye to my
old self and started anew!
[16:13] Tetsu
I've given up on being a bad boy.
[16:15] Tetsu
I'm moving forward from B to C.
[16:17] Tetsu
I have matured into a cherry boy!
[16:20] B
Uh, you're going backwards?!
[16:24] Tetsu
From now on, I will serve the vice chief
[16:28] ---
and help the Shinsengumi protect Edo!
[16:31] Tetsu
Hey, show your manners.
[16:33] A
Hey, his buddies went in the
other direction, from B to A!
[16:36] A
They're Akiba boys now!
[16:37] A
You're all regressing!
[16:40] Cat
Wait, Tetsu. Why do you keep bowing?
[16:44] Tetsu
What? I'm trying to be sincere here.
[16:46] Band
Are you hard?
[16:49] Tetsu
I'm not hard!
[16:50] Tetsu
Are you hard?!
[16:51] B
They sound so cherry!
Those were the days!
[16:54] Cat
Then stand up straight.
[16:56] Tetsu
You go first!
[16:58] Band
Stop trying to buy time.
[17:00] Toshi
Out of the way.
[17:04] Tetsu
Please wait, Vice Chief!
[17:07] Tetsu
I'm not hard!
[17:12] Kondo
I see. Toshi did it again.
[17:16] Kondo
Well, I could never tell if he was
doing his job or just picking fights.
[17:21] Kondo
He's a real troublemaker.
[17:23] Kondo
Hey! What are you doing?!
[17:24] Kondo
Run!
[17:25] Kondo
If you give up, the game's over!
[17:27] Tetsu
You don't understand.
[17:29] Tetsu
If you and Toshi make
an enemy of my brother,
[17:33] Tetsu
he'll crush me and all
of you in the process.
[17:38] Tetsu
You should have listened to him
[17:40] ---
and tossed my useless
ass out on the street.
[17:43] Tetsu
I'm sure you're all sick of me.
[17:47] Tetsu
You wish I would go away.
[17:50] Tetsu
I know how you feel.
[17:53] Tetsu
That's how I've always been treated,
[17:55] Tetsu
ever since my mother died and
[17:57] ---
I was brought to the Sasaki home.
[18:00] Tetsu
I've gotten used to it.
[18:03] Kondo
You ever heard the name Thorny?
[18:06] Kondo
It's for nasty kids that prick
you if you get too close.
[18:11] Kondo
That's what we called the
bad boys where I come from.
[18:17] Kondo
Including him.
[18:18] ---
Thorny Toshi.
[18:20] Kondo
He was bad enough to make
you guys look like babies.
[18:27] Kondo
He spent every day fighting
thugs from the local dojos.
[18:33] Kondo
A foolish boy who chose to live
inside the thorny thicket.
[18:42] Kondo
That Thorny boy must be
possessed by a devil.
[18:45] Kondo
That's what they all used to say.
[18:48] Kondo
But it wasn't like that.
[18:50] Kondo
He was no different from you.
[18:53] Kondo
That was the only place
he had to belong.
[18:55] Kondo
Toshi was also the son of a mistress.
[19:02] Kondo
His father was a rich
farmer where we came from.
[19:06] Kondo
Toshi was the secret son who
didn't pop until his father died.
[19:13] Kondo
But the oldest son,
Tamegoro, was a good man.
[19:17] Kondo
After Toshi lost his
mother and his home,
[19:19] Kondo
Tamegoro took him in
and looked after him.
[19:22] Kondo
Toshi was very fond of him.
[19:27] Kondo
But it didn't end well.
[19:30] Kondo
When he was eleven, there was
a large fire in the village.
[19:34] Kondo
Some brigands used this chance to break
[19:36] ---
into their home and attack Toshi,
[19:41] Kondo
but Tamegoro protected
him and lost his eyes.
[19:46] Kondo
The next thing he knew,
[19:47] ---
the brigands were strewn
across the floor.
[19:50] Kondo
His siblings stared at him with fear,
[19:53] Kondo
and the dried eyeballs on the
floor stared at him in silence.
[20:02] Kondo
That was when they started
calling him Thorny.
[20:06] Kondo
And he could no longer be
with his beloved brother.
[20:12] Kondo
He defended you because
he knows how you feel.
[20:18] Kondo
Having to endure the
hate of your family.
[20:20] Kondo
Being indebted to your brother.
[20:22] Kondo
Not having a place to belong.
[20:24] Kondo
Being an outsider.
[20:26] Kondo
But Tetsu, even after he went astray,
[20:29] Kondo
after he threw himself
into the thorny bramble,
[20:33] Kondo
he never stopped moving forward.
[20:36] Toshi
Stronger! Become stronger!
[20:39] Toshi
Stronger than everyone else!
[20:42] Kondo
He couldn't get over the fact that
[20:43] ---
he wasn't able to protect
the people he loved.
[20:46] Yama
Hey, hey, hey!
[20:47] Yama
Hey, pass!
[20:47] Kondo
We're all the same, Tetsu.
[20:49] Kondo
We're all outsiders and failures here.
[20:53] Yama
Hey, pass!
[20:53] Kondo
But we never gave up on
becoming respectable men
[20:57] Kondo
and eventually, we made it here.
[21:01] Kondo
That's how men find a place to belong.
[21:03] Yama
Stop hogging the ball!
[21:05] Kondo
You keep advancing,
[21:07] ---
cutting your way through
the thorny brambles,
[21:10] Kondo
leaving a trail.
[21:11] Yama
I'm here.
[21:12] Kondo
Eventually, you're joined
by others and the
[21:15] ---
trail becomes a wide path.
[21:19] Kondo
I can't tell you what to do now
that your family doesn't want you.
[21:23] Kondo
You have to choose your own path.
[21:27] Kondo
But if you want a place to belong,
[21:29] ---
if you want respect,
[21:31] Kondo
you can never stop moving.
[21:40] Kondo
Never stop walking through the thorns.
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN The situation
SIGN suddenly gets worse!
SIGN Thorny and Rosy
SIGN Tetsunosuke has had a change of heart, but a gang of bad boys is looking for trouble...
SIGN Meanwhile, Gintoki has been taken by the Mimawarigumi, where Isaburo asks him to go on a mission.
E245 - Thorny and Rosy
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Tetsu
My name is Tetsunosuke Sasaki
who silences crying babies.
[00:06] Tetsu
When I make curry, I add pickles, aye.
[00:09] Tetsu
If someone looks evil,
he's a buddy of mine.
[00:12] Tetsu
We always wake up with some morning pine.
[00:14] Tetsu
This is Isaburo Sasaki, my bro.
[00:17] Tetsu
Head of the Mimawarigumi and always
lookin' for a fightin' foe.
[00:20] Tetsu
Here's Toshiro Hijikata, the boss guy.
[00:23] Tetsu
A lot went down, but now, we fly?
[00:31] Tetsu
I walk my life on the pedestrian road.
[00:37] Tetsu
Got a heart of steel that will never blow.
[00:43] Tetsu
Kou Shibasaki is my type of ho.
[00:48] Tetsu
And that's the end of this recap, yo.
[00:55] Toshi
How the hell was that a recap?!
[00:57] Tetsu
Yeah.
SIGN Thorny and Rosy
[02:53] Okita
Welcome back, big guy.
[03:00] Okita
That was mean of you.
[03:02] Okita
I helped free you.
[03:08] Gin
Oh, really?
[03:11] Gin
But it's your fault I was
arrested in the first place.
[03:18] Okita
You should blame Hijikata-san
and the rich dumbass.
[03:21] Okita
I didn't do anything wrong.
[03:24] Gin
Yeah, neither did I.
[03:36] Isabu
Please do not blame the Shinsengumi.
[03:42] Isabu
It was entirely our fault.
[03:45] Isabu
I must apologize.
[03:47] Isabu
I did not realize he
was a friend of yours.
[03:51] Isabu
I am unable to properly
express my remorse,
[03:54] Isabu
so could you please give
me your e-mail address?
[03:56] Isabu
I will send a message of apology.
[04:00] Gin
It's Die_Elite@bocomo.ne.jp.
[04:05] Isabu
However, my nose is supposed
to be as sharp as a Doberman's.
[04:09] Isabu
And I could smell great wrongdoing
coming from your body.
[04:14] Isabu
Hm?
SIGN The Perfect Happiness Theory The Joi Patriot Happiness Doctrine
[04:15] Isabu
-Oh? It took me to an odd site...
[04:15] Gin
-What? I smell?
[04:17] Gin
It's been two days since I washed it,
[04:18] Gin
but I only wore it when I went
to the convenience store.
[04:21] Gin
It should be okay.
[04:22] Gin
Am I okay, Okita-kun?
[04:25] Okita
Well, this person isn't exactly
an innocent bystander.
[04:30] Okita
If you round to the nearest
degree, he's a criminal.
[04:33] Gin
Don't make it sound so bad.
[04:35] Gin
If you start rounding, everyone's
a criminal, you fool.
SIGN 5:00 Wake up! Borrow milk from a neighbor. Find something to eat for breakfast. Yummy 6:00-6:30 Radio exercise. Grab extra snacks. 7:00-7:30 Kidnap a cucumber and waterboard it!!
[04:41] Gin
Kids spend their entire summer
vacation committing crimes,
[04:43] Gin
except when they're exercising, you fool.
SIGN 8:00-9:45 Kid Summer Specials. Salt in old wounds. Lame 10:00-11:45 Pee in the pool, and visit the girls' locker room. Titter. Eat ramen, then run out of the store.
[04:47] Isabu
We are willing to compensate you for
[04:49] ---
your damaged scooter or any trauma,
[04:51] Isabu
so please indicate your desired amount
SIGN Weekday Sale
[04:53] ---
on the back of this flyer.
[04:56] Isabu
I don't want you pestering us later.
[05:00] Gin
Back of the flyer?!
[05:01] Gin
Don't look down on us common
folk, you elite prick!
[05:04] Gin
You think that's enough to
soothe the wounds to my heart?!
[05:08] Gin
Mind if I use toilet paper?
[05:10] Gin
I need more room to work with.
[05:12] Okita
Big guy, you're wasting your time.
[05:15] Okita
They'll just flush it down the toilet.
[05:18] Okita
Please carry on.
[05:21] Okita
I appreciate this, Sasaki-dono.
[05:24] Gin
Hey! What are you doing?!
[05:26] Okita
Our vice chief screwed up,
so I guess we're even now.
[05:31] Gin
That's bullshit! How did
I get dragged into this?!
[05:35] Isabu
No, we're already asking you to
[05:37] ---
dispose of the trash that is my brother.
[05:40] Isabu
Though I'm willing to pay extra.
[05:43] Isabu
We'll dispose of our own trash.
[05:46] Gin
Yeah, you fool!
[05:48] Gin
Let this guy handle it!
[05:50] Gin
Don't call me trash, you fool!
[05:51] Okita
Nah, he knows that you're
too much to handle.
[05:55] Okita
You realize that you're supposed
to separate your trash?
[06:03] Okita
Your non-combustible garbage
[06:07] Okita
turned out to be pretty burnable.
[06:11] Okita
It started a fire that's making
us sweat in the middle of winter.
[06:14] Okita
Well, he won't be very useful,
[06:17] ---
but we'll use him until he's
reduced to a pile of ashes.
[06:20] Okita
Oh, throw that away for me.
[06:23] Isabu
Okita-san, I have a warning for you.
[06:27] Isabu
Rotten trash can never be restored.
[06:31] Isabu
Instead, it spreads contagions
[06:33] ---
which causes everything around to rot.
[06:36] Isabu
You should dispose of it before the
[06:39] ---
Shinsengumi are infected.
[06:42] Okita
Let's go, big guy.
[06:44] Gin
I'm not going with you!
[06:46] Gin
Give me back my ten million!
[06:48] Gin
Hundred million, billion...
[06:50] Gin
Huh? How many zeros were there?
[06:52] Isabu
Are you really so desperate for money?
[06:54] Gin
Hell yeah!
[06:56] Gin
Unlike you rich people,
[06:57] ---
we can barely scrape by day to day!
[07:00] Isabu
Then I have a job offer for you.
[07:08] Toshi
Man, you're pathetic.
[07:10] Toshi
At this rate, you won't
last a day against the Joi.
[07:17] Toshi
If you don't want to die,
you have to become stronger.
[07:19] Toshi
Give me three thousand
swings before dinner.
[07:22] Tetsu
V-Vice Chief...
[07:25] Tetsu
I-I will become stronger.
[07:29] Tetsu
S-Stronger than my brother,
stronger than you!
[07:35] Tetsu
I'll never stop in my tracks again.
[07:38] Tetsu
I'm gonna catch up to everyone else.
[07:41] Tetsu
Walk the same path...
[07:43] Tetsu
S-So you can also become stronger!
[07:48] Tetsu
Your brother doesn't hate you.
[07:55] Tetsu
I'm sure that he misses you!
[07:58] Tetsu
After all, you did everything you
could to protect your brother!
[08:05] Tetsu
Your brother did everything
he could to protect you!
[08:10] Tetsu
The two of you are true brothers!
[08:13] Tetsu
I envy you.
[08:15] Tetsu
So please don't run
away from your brother!
[08:20] Tetsu
Aren't you known as Thorny Toshi?!
[08:30] Toshi
Man, which idiot opened his fat mouth?
[08:34] Toshi
Listen up.
[08:35] Toshi
You mention that name around me again,
[08:38] Toshi
and I'll kill you by cramming
mayonnaise in every orifice.
SIGN Special Police
Shinsengumi
[08:52] Tetsu
Excuse me!
[08:53] Tetsu
Vice Chief!
[08:56] Tetsu
I bought you a yakisoba sandwich!
[09:00] Toshi
No thanks!
[09:01] Toshi
And I didn't even ask for a sandwich!
[09:03] ---
You have the instincts of a doormat!
[09:05] Tetsu
Vice Chief, let me give you a back rub!
[09:07] Toshi
No thanks.
[09:08] Tetsu
Vice Chief, need me to
buy you more cigarettes?
[09:10] Toshi
No thanks.
[09:11] Tetsu
Vice Chief, shall I
clean your room for you?
[09:13] Toshi
Just cut it out already!
[09:15] Tetsu
Vice Chief, I brought you mayonnaise.
[09:18] Toshi
Thank you. That's enough, so go away.
[09:20] Tetsu
Vice Chief, are you hard?
[09:23] Toshi
I said to go away!
[09:25] Toshi
Just do as you're told.
[09:28] Toshi
Don't be a pain in the ass.
[09:29] Tetsu
I'm so sorry!
[09:31] Tetsu
I wanted to make myself useful!
[09:34] Toshi
I can't get any work done
if you keep bugging me.
[09:36] Toshi
Forget it.
[09:37] Toshi
Go deliver this for me.
[09:39] Toshi
And take your time.
[09:43] Tetsu
Vice Chief, is this letter for...?
[09:46] Toshi
You're going to become stronger than me?
[09:48] Toshi
Then show me what you're made of.
SIGN Tamegoro Hijikata
[09:57] Tetsu
Y-Yes, sir...
[09:59] Tetsu
I promise to deliver!
[10:11] A
Found him.
[10:17] A
The target is alone.
[10:19] A
Now's our chance to take him.
[10:21] A
He's headed your way.
[10:24] A
Everyone ready?
[10:25] A
Don't let that traitor get away.
[10:28] B
Hey, newbie. He's coming our way.
[10:31] B
Don't let him out of your sight.
[10:34] B
Hey, did you hear me?
[10:36] Gin
Huh? Oh.
[10:38] Gin
Aye, aye, sir.
[10:40] B
Can we trust him?
[10:42] B
He isn't taking this seriously.
SIGN From: Sabu-chan
[10:46] Isabu
Good work.
[10:48] Isabu
How is everything going?
[10:49] Isabu
Drop me a message every now and then.
[10:52] Gin
What? You want me to go undercover?
[10:54] Isabu
Yes. You see, the
Mimawarigumi is currently
[10:57] ---
pursuing a certain organization.
[10:59] Isabu
I need you to infiltrate them
and provide us with information.
[11:03] Gin
Which organization are you talking about?
[11:05] Gin
I'd be up for infiltrating AKB.
[11:07] Gin
I'll investigate their BWHs.
[11:10] Gin
It's probably the Joi, spelled JOY.
[11:12] Gin
Ponytail and Shoo-Shoo, right?
[11:14] Gin
That's some Heavy Low Tension.
[11:16] Isabu
As you already know, we are
elite cops by the elite,
[11:19] ---
for the elite, and of the elite.
[11:22] Isabu
If one of our elite members were
to attempt to infiltrate the Joi,
[11:24] Isabu
they would immediately
notice our eliteness.
[11:27] Gin
Don't you ever get sick of saying elite?
[11:29] Isabu
Do you ever get sick of saying
[11:31] ---
that AKB's Tomomi Itano is cute?
[11:34] Gin
That metaphor wasn't very elite.
[11:37] Isabu
However, a nasty fellow like you
would have no trouble taking
[11:39] Isabu
center stage with JOY and
[11:41] ---
becoming their number one terrorist.
[11:43] Gin
That wouldn't make me happy.
[11:45] Gin
I'd be arrested on the spot.
[11:48] Isabu
Our target is the Check It Out gang.
[11:51] Isabu
They used to be a bunch of thug
[11:53] ---
s who dissed the Bakufu
with their rapping,
[11:55] Isabu
but after continued internal
strife and expansion,
[11:58] Isabu
they transformed into a
group of radical rebels.
[12:01] Isabu
The gang is now using violence.
[12:04] Isabu
We have reports that they are planning
SIGN Check It Out Gang
[12:07] ---
a large-scale terrorist attack.
[12:10] Isabu
Your mission is to make contact
[12:13] ---
and determine the time
and place of this attack,
[12:16] Isabu
as well as locate their
base of operations.
[12:19] Isabu
It will be a dangerous mission,
[12:22] ---
but if you complete it, we
will buy millions of your CDs.
[12:26] Isabu
I promise that you will place
first in the next poll.
[12:30] Gin
I let him fool me into this mess,
[12:33] ---
and they already want me
to start committing crimes.
[12:37] Gin
Good thing I didn't bring
Shinpachi and Kagura.
[12:39] Gin
I don't care if they want
revenge on a traitor,
[12:42] Gin
but that cop better take responsibility.
[12:45] Gin
They'll get suspicious
if I make a fuss now.
[12:48] Gin
Guess I don't have a choice.
SIGN From: Sabu-chan You have a new message. Urgent.
[12:51] Gin
What? It's him again?
[12:52] Gin
He's such a pest.
[12:54] Gin
I don't have time to deal with him.
[12:56] Gin
Huh? Urgent?
[12:57] Gin
Did something happen?
[12:59] Isabu
One of my men, Nobutasu, brought these.
[13:01] Isabu
So yummy.
[13:02] Isabu
If you don't hurry back, there
won't be any left for you, Gin-tan.
[13:05] Isabu
P.S. If you want some, send me a message.
[13:14] Isabu
Just kidding.
[13:15] Isabu
We saved some for you, so work hard.
[13:18] Isabu
I bought a good luck
charm to keep you safe.
[13:19] Isabu
P.S. I'm worried about your
safety. Please send me a message.
[13:29] Isabu
I made a teru teru bozu
so it wouldn't rain.
[13:31] Isabu
P.S. What's the weather like where
you are? Please send me a message.
[13:41] Isabu
I'm praying for you to send me a message.
[13:43] Isabu
P.S. Rabbits can die of loneliness.
[13:48] Gin
Friggin' pain in the ass!
[13:51] Gin
He really wants me to send a message!
[13:52] Gin
Damn cell phone addict!
[13:54] Gin
He's as bad as Shoko-tan!
[13:56] Gin
I don't have time to send you messages!
[13:58] B
Hey, what are you yelling
about? Calm down!
[14:03] Gin
And why is he so hyper when
he's sending messages?
[14:07] Gin
He's a different person
when writing messages?
[14:08] Gin
I'm working here!
[14:09] Gin
Don't interfere!
[14:10] Gin
Huh?
[14:14] Isabu
It's a waste of time to destroy the phone.
[14:16] Gin
It's a waste of time to be so prepared!
[14:19] Gin
Can you stop interfering already?!
[14:22] Isabu
I'm not interfering.
[14:24] Isabu
I'm calling to let you know
that our target is almost here.
[14:28] Gin
Target?
[14:29] Isabu
Please. Don't dawdle or he'll get away.
SIGN Tamegoro Hijikata
[14:32] Tetsu
The vice chief trusted me to
deliver this important letter.
[14:36] Tetsu
I-I will become stronger...
[14:40] Tetsu
S-Stronger than my brother,
stronger than you!
[14:45] Tetsu
He wrote a letter to help encourage me!
[14:50] Toshi
Then show me what you're made of.
[14:53] Tetsu
He was letting me know that
it was my turn to shine!
[14:57] Tetsu
Vice Chief, I promise
to deliver this letter!
[15:01] Tetsu
I promise to become stronger
than everyone else!
SIGN Special Police Shinsengumi
[15:04] Tetsu
I will catch up to you guys!
[15:08] Toshi
Does he even know where to find a mailbox?
[15:14] Kondo
Don't worry.
[15:15] Kondo
Your message was delivered.
[15:18] Kondo
Your message got to him.
[15:22] Kondo
He'll be...
[15:24] Kondo
Tetsu will be fine now.
[15:33] A
You out on an errand, Tetsunosuke-kun?
[15:36] A
You used to be one of us, Tetsu.
[15:38] A
We all dissed the Bakufu together,
[15:42] A
and now you're one of its dogs.
[15:44] A
You've really fallen, traitor!
[16:23] Isabu
Well met. It appears we have
a problem on our hands.
[16:27] Isabu
Who would have thought
that we would have to
[16:29] Isabu
come out here for the
sake of that failure?
[16:32] Toshi
Did you know about his connection
to the Joi patriots?
[16:37] Isabu
It appears that he concealed his identity
[16:39] ---
and met with them from time to time.
[16:41] Isabu
A fitting place to go for
someone with nowhere to belong.
[16:45] Isabu
I believe that their leader,
Eni Men, was quite fond of him,
[16:49] Isabu
or fond of his money, I should say.
[16:51] Isabu
But as the gang grew violent,
[16:53] Isabu
he feared that they would learn he was
[16:56] ---
the brother of a cop, so he ran away.
[16:59] Isabu
In the end, there was
nowhere for him to go.
[17:03] Isabu
And in the end,
[17:05] ---
his identity was revealed
in the worst possible way.
[17:08] Isabu
The younger brother of
the Mimawarigumi chief
[17:10] Isabu
and the assistant to the
Shinsengumi vice chief.
[17:14] Isabu
This information would
be enough to crush two
[17:18] ---
of Edo's strongest police forces.
[17:21] Isabu
A rather disparate trade.
[17:23] Isabu
To think that fool would hold as
[17:25] Isabu
much worth as the leaders of the
Shinsengumi and Mimawarigumi?
[17:30] Isabu
Onward, men.
[17:32] Isabu
We need not concern ourselves
with the hostage.
[17:33] Isabu
Wipe out the Joi.
[17:36] Kondo
W-Wait, Sasaki-dono!
[17:38] Kondo
You're going to let your brother die?!
[17:40] Isabu
Are you telling me to negotiate
with the terrorists?
[17:43] Isabu
Unfortunately, my life is
worth far more than yours.
[17:47] Isabu
As I said before,
[17:49] ---
rotten trash causes everything
around it to rot.
[17:54] Isabu
This would never have
happened if you had disposed
[17:58] ---
of Tetsunosuke as I advised.
[18:02] Isabu
Please get out of the way.
[18:04] Isabu
You should be more worried
about yourselves.
[18:07] Isabu
After accepting a former
Joi as an assistant and
[18:10] ---
allowing him to be taken hostage,
[18:12] Isabu
you have disgraced yourselves.
[18:15] Isabu
If you also allow a son
of the Sasaki family
[18:17] ---
to die in your care,
[18:19] Isabu
how can you ever make amends?
[18:21] Isabu
As a fan, I'm eager to see what you do.
[18:26] Toshi
Bastard... You used him as a pawn.
[18:29] Toshi
So you were trying to eliminate two thorns
[18:31] ---
in your side at the same time.
[18:33] Kondo
Stop it, Toshi!
[18:34] Toshi
You knew this would happen,
[18:36] Toshi
yet you're blaming it all on us.
[18:39] Toshi
Gonna pat yourself on the back for getting
[18:40] ---
rid of us, along with your brother?
[18:43] Isabu
You have it all wrong.
[18:45] Isabu
I already said that I am a big fan.
[18:48] Isabu
But there are many incompetents who do not
[18:51] ---
know how to handle people like you.
[18:54] Isabu
You must realize that we are nothing more
[18:56] ---
than cogs in a larger machine.
[18:58] Isabu
What about me?
[18:59] Isabu
I understand that I am
[19:01] ---
nothing more than a
large and superior cog.
[19:06] Kondo
You can spend the rest of your
life blaming other people!
[19:09] Kondo
Toshi!
[19:12] Isabu
If you seek my head, it'll cost
you a few heads of your own.
[19:23] Okita
Go ahead and draw your sword.
[19:25] Okita
I'll jam it right up your .
[19:29] Kondo*
S-Stop this, Toshi, Sogo!
[19:32] Kondo
Calm down!
[19:35] Kondo
We don't have time for this!
[19:40] A
Conflict! War! What is it good for?
[19:43] A
Boys! These cops are about
to tear into each other!
[19:46] A
Watch closely!
[19:49] A
This should be quite the show!
[19:53] A
Mic check, one, two.
[19:55] A
Hurry up and do it!
[19:56] A
Clap your hands!
[19:58] A
Party hard!
[19:59] A
Arms in the air!
[20:01] A
If you keep me waiting,
my hand might slip!
[20:04] A
Check it out! Check it out! Check it out!
[20:08] Kondo
Toshi!
[20:13] Isabu
Have you lost your mind, Hijikata-san?
[20:15] Isabu
Move out of the way.
[20:23] Tetsu
I will become stronger.
[20:27] Tetsu
I'm gonna catch up to everyone else.
[20:28] Tetsu
Walk the same path...
[20:31] Toshi
I don't want to listen to those fools,
[20:33] Toshi
but I can't let you pass either.
[20:38] Toshi
This is our battle.
[20:41] Toshi
We're ready to cut our way
through the bramble to get in.
[20:44] Toshi
Cut our way through the
bramble to go home,
[20:47] Toshi
bringing him and the
other Thornies with us.
[20:51] Toshi
We won't let anyone through if
they don't have what it takes.
[20:59] Toshi
It won't be easy to get
through these thorns.
[21:04] Isabu
I see.
[21:06] Isabu
While you delay us and
draw away their attention,
[21:11] Isabu
a small force will circle
around and rescue Tetsunosuke.
[21:15] ---
Is that the plan?
[21:16] Isabu
But I also sent someone from our side.
[21:19] Isabu
I hope she can help.
[21:23] Isabu
Nobume is an elite assassin
from our killing squad.
[21:27] Isabu
But once her switch is turned on,
[21:29] Isabu
she doesn't stop until she's
killed everyone in the vicinity,
[21:32] Isabu
so I'm worried that she might
[21:34] ---
harm the hostage and the rest of you.
[21:37] Toshi
Enough chitchat.
[21:39] Toshi
I can't stand the sight of your face.
[21:42] Toshi
We both have an excuse to
eliminate the other now.
[21:45] Toshi
You should be happy.
[21:47] Isabu
I believe that you look like
anything but a cop right now.
[21:51] Toshi
Right back at you.
[21:54] Both
-Evil bastard.
-Evil bastard.
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Hovering on
SIGN the verge of death...
SIGN Festival of Thornies
SIGN Demon vs. Monster. Hijikata vs. Isaburo. Okita vs. Nobume.
SIGN Shinsengumi! Mimawarigumi! Check It Out Gang! It's all-out war between bad boys!!
E246 - Festival of Thornys
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Tetsu
My name is Tetsunosuke Sasaki
who silences crying babies.
[00:06] Tetsu
Graduated from bad boy to cherry boy.
[00:09] Tetsu
A lot went down and I've
had a change of heart.
[00:11] Tetsu
A lot going on and I'm off to a new start.
[00:14] Tetsu
Got a letter to deliver, quick as a dart.
[00:17] Tetsu
But then I got my shit knocked out, yo.
[00:20] A
Cherry boy! Cherry boy!
[00:23] B
Cherry boy! Cherry boy!
[00:25] Tetsu
This is my brother, Isaburo Sasaki.
[00:28] Tetsu
He loves sending e-mails but
he ain't got any mail buddies.
[00:31] A
No mail buddies. No mail buddies.
[00:34] ---
Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!
[00:37] Tetsu
Always ready for any situation.
[00:39] Tetsu
His plan is to wipe everyone out, yo.
[00:43] A
Always ready for any situation.
[00:46] B
Ready. Ready.
[00:48] Tetsu
Shinsengumi, Check It Out Gang, and me.
[00:51] A
Cherry boy! Cherry boy!
[00:54] Tetsu
Shinsengumi, Check It Out Gang, and me!
[00:57] A
Cherry boy! Cherry boy!
[00:59] Tetsu
Yeah.
[01:02] Toshi
Uh, can you cut it out?
[02:35] Isabu
A rather disparate trade.
[02:37] Isabu
To think that fool would hold as
[02:39] Isabu
much worth as the leaders of the
Shinsengumi and Mimawarigumi?
[02:43] Isabu
Onward, men.
[02:45] Isabu
We need not concern
ourselves with the hostage.
[02:46] Isabu
Wipe out the Joi.
[02:53] Okita
Go ahead and draw your sword.
[02:54] Okita
I'll jam it right up your .
[02:57] Toshi*
This is our battle.
[03:00] Toshi
We're ready to cut our way
through the bramble to get in.
[03:03] Toshi
It won't be easy to get through these thorns.
[03:07] Isabu
I believe that you look like
anything but a cop right now.
[03:12] Toshi
Right back at you.
[03:15] Both
-Evil bastard.
-Evil bastard.
SIGN Festival of Thornies
[03:47] Isabu
Hijikata-san, do you expect
me to take your gamble?
[03:53] Toshi
You'll have to beat us
[03:55] Toshi
if you want to get rid of your brother,
[03:58] Toshi
so you don't really have a choice.
[04:01] Isabu
If my goal is to ruin your reputation
[04:06] Isabu
while disposing of my worthless brother,
[04:08] Isabu
I simply have to alert those thugs to
the small band you sent in.
[04:14] Isabu
Once I do that, the hostage will quickly die,
[04:17] Isabu
along with your organization,
which caused this mess.
[04:22] Isabu
It's very simple.
[04:24] Isabu
Men, do not be fooled by his cheap taunts.
[04:27] Isabu
It would be idiotic for police officers
[04:30] Isabu
to fight each other while the enemy watches.
[04:32] Isabu
The Mimawarigumi have a responsibility to uphold.
[04:34] Isabu
We will not move a single step or lift a single finger.
[04:38] Isabu
You are sadly mistaken, Hijikata-san.
[04:40] Isabu
My goal is not to eliminate the
Shinsengumi and my brother.
[04:45] Isabu
It's to find a solution to this
mess in an expedient manner.
[04:48] Isabu
I do not wish to waste my time or people on this farce.
[04:55] Isabu
In other words...
[04:58] Isabu
I simply need
[05:00] Isabu
to eliminate the thorn in my side.
[05:06] Toshi
That's more like it.
[05:09] Toshi
So despite being raised in a greenhouse,
[05:12] Toshi
you haven't forgotten your primal instincts.
[05:16] Toshi
Rosy.
[05:18] Isabu
You're about to learn what happens
[05:22] Isabu
when you defy the Mimawarigumi, brat!
[05:52] Kondo
That woman's like a bringer of death.
[05:55] Kondo
Every strike she makes is lethal.
[05:57] Kondo
Was she trained as an assassin?
[06:00] Yama
We don't have time to admire her technique.
[06:02] Yama
If she attracts too much attention,
[06:04] Yama
the enemy will realize we're here!
[06:07] Yama
If that happens, Tetsu will be...
[06:09] Kondo
It's not that simple.
[06:11] Kondo
If she gets behind enemy lines,
she might kill Tetsu!
[06:17] A
Who are you?!
[06:18] B
We're under atta—
[06:27] Nobu
I knew you weren't a cop.
[06:30] Nobu
You have the eyes of a killer,
[06:32] Nobu
just like me.
[06:35] Okita
Zaki, look after Kondo-san for me.
[06:39] Kondo
Sogo! You can't mean to—
[06:41] Okita
Kondo-san, she doesn't
want that loser's head,
[06:45] Okita
and she's not interested in the enemy either.
[06:51] Okita
She wants my head.
[06:53] Nobu
No.
[07:01] Nobu
I want your .
[07:21] Kondo*
We'll let Sogo handle this.
[07:23] Kondo
Let's go!
[07:24] Yama
Oh. Yes, sir!
[07:38] Okita
Will your *** or my *** get busted up first?
[07:45] Okita
Fun stuff.
[08:17] Isabu
Dance for me.
[08:29] Isabu
He used that shot to lead me into his attack!
[08:33] Isabu
In that case...
[08:41] Isabu
It's over.
[08:55] All
Vice Chief!
[09:05] Isabu
This farce is over.
[09:07] Tetsu
V-Vice Chief!
[09:10] C
F-For real?
[09:13] Em
You did it! You really did it, Sasaki!
[09:18] C
What's that? Why are they lining up?
[09:22] Em
What are you people doing?!
[09:24] Em
Aren't you worried about what
might happen to this guy?
[09:28] Em
Hey, hold up!
[09:30] Em
Don't you care about your brother?!
[09:31] Em
Stop! Stop!
[09:34] Em
Is he serious?
[09:36] Em
He's going to sacrifice his brother.
[09:38] Em
So this guy is a worthless hostage?
[09:42] C
D-Dammit!
[09:43] Em
W-Wait!
[09:45] Em
What about this?!
SIGN Tamegoro Hijikata
[09:46] Em
I already know that this is a secret message,
[09:50] Em
since this guy was trying
his best to protect it!
[09:54] Tetsu
That's the vice chief's...
[09:56] Tetsu
Stop! That letter is...
[09:59] Em
There's a fake name on the envelope,
[10:02] Em
but the address is the Mimawarigumi station.
[10:05] Em
This is a letter Hijikata tried to send you!
[10:08] Tetsu
Impossible... The vice chief's
letter was for my brother?
[10:11] Em
Considering the effort that went
into disguising this letter,
[10:15] Em
it must be important.
[10:17] Em
Don't you care what happens to it?
[10:20] Isabu
Oh? A letter from Hijikata-san to me?
[10:24] Isabu
You've managed to pique my interest.
[10:27] Em
Don't play dumb!
[10:28] Em
Then I'll read it out loud
for everyone to hear!
[10:33] Isabu
Please do.
[10:36] Em
What?!
[10:38] Em
You've got balls.
[10:39] Em
Then I'll read your letter!
[10:41] Em
Let's see...
[10:42] Em
Uh...
[10:43] Em
Er...
[10:45] C
The first word is "dear," boss.
[10:47] Em
Shut up! I know that!
[10:48] Em
Keep your mouth shut!
[10:52] Toshi
Isaburo Sasaki-dono.
[10:54] Toshi
Forgive me for sending this
letter without warning.
[10:58] Toshi
A letter addressed to the
Mimawarigumi might cause a stir,
[11:03] Toshi
so forgive me for using a false name.
[11:10] Toshi
I believe that by using the name Hijikata,
[11:12] Toshi
this letter will certainly reach your eyes.
[11:18] Toshi
Your brother, Tetsunosuke,
who is currently in our care,
[11:23] Toshi
has completely changed,
[11:27] Toshi
training hard under our watch every day.
[11:32] Toshi
It will take some more time
to work the damage
[11:37] Toshi
from his lazy lifestyle out of his body,
[11:41] Toshi
but he's doing his best to never stop,
to keep moving forward.
[11:48] Toshi
He's matured into a fine young man.
[11:51] Toshi
I'm ashamed to admit that I've learned
[11:56] Toshi
a thing or two by watching him struggle.
[12:01] Toshi
I know that he will become a strong warrior.
[12:05] Toshi
We will make him a strong warrior.
[12:11] Toshi
So, when he becomes fully capable,
please show him your approval.
[12:20] Toshi
As his family, as his brother...
[12:23] Toshi
Could you please accept him?
[12:27] Tetsu
I envy you.
[12:32] Toshi
I'm sure that's what he wants.
[12:36] Toshi
He may complain all the time,
[12:40] Toshi
but I know how he truly feels.
[12:57] Toshi
Because it's too late
SIGN Tamegoro Hijikata
[13:01] Toshi
for me.
[13:11] Tetsu
Vice Chief...
[13:17] Isabu
That was a waste of time.
[13:20] Isabu
Advance.
[13:23] Tetsu
I-Isaburo!
[13:39] Tetsu
Stop!
[13:41] Tetsu
Please stop this!
[13:44] Tetsu
Don't worry about me!
[13:48] Tetsu
Please! Vice Chief!
[13:56] Isabu
It seems that you're the type
[14:01] Isabu
that keeps coming back until
you've drawn your last breath.
[14:07] Isabu
Get out of my way, Thorny.
[14:14] Isabu
Fail to dodge it, and you die.
Dodge it, and you still die.
[14:18] Isabu
Bullet or blade. Pick your poison.
[15:08] Tetsu
Vice Chief...
[15:14] Toshi
You should stick to decorating walls,
[15:19] Toshi
you dirty rose.
[15:23] Toshi
This garden isn't for you people.
[15:30] Isabu
You are really something, Hijikata-san.
[15:35] Isabu
Are you saying that the safety
of an innocent citizen
[15:37] Isabu
is more important than the
resolution of this crisis?
[15:40] Isabu
No, you're merely being selfish.
[15:44] Isabu
You aren't trying to save
my worthless little brother.
[15:49] Isabu
You're trying to save the worthless
little brother of the Hijikata family.
[15:53] Isabu
It is not our duty to redeem criminals.
[15:58] Isabu
Our duty is to punish criminals.
[16:01] Isabu
You can't punish a criminal
if you fear his crime.
[16:06] Isabu
You must be prepared to suffer
the same punishment you deal.
[16:13] Isabu
We can never save a single soul.
[16:17] Isabu
We aren't even allowed the
right to save ourselves.
[16:21] Isabu
A cog is supposed to keep on turning.
[16:24] Isabu
We can never stop.
[16:27] Isabu
You're out of time, Hijikata-san.
[16:37] A
Get 'em! Kill 'em all!
[16:48] Em
D-Dammit!
[16:50] Em
I'm taking you with us, then!
[16:59] Toshi
Tetsu!
[17:14] Isabu
Hello? This is Sabu-chan.
[17:18] Isabu
Thank you for leading the
Mimawarigumi here.
[17:22] Isabu
Our ambush was a success.
[17:26] Gin
Is my job done then?
[17:29] Isabu
Yes, we can take it from here.
[17:34] Gin
Really. Well, then.
[17:39] Gin
Time to do things my way.
[17:44] Toshi
Wh-What are you...?!
[17:48] Isabu
Oh? You're turning on us?
[17:51] Isabu
That's fine.
[17:52] Isabu
I don't need a mail buddy who never replies.
[17:56] Isabu
I don't intend on leaving
you in my address book.
[18:03] Gin
That's what I figured.
[18:07] Toshi
Bastard...
[18:09] Toshi
The Mimawarigumi's charge was
meant to draw me up here.
[18:13] Toshi
With the exits blocked,
they must plan on killing us with the Joi.
[18:20] Gin
Wait, hold on.
[18:22] Gin
I'm not gonna side with the Shinsengumi.
[18:26] Gin
I've never been a fan of the police.
[18:29] Gin
Doesn't matter if you're wearing black or white.
[18:32] Gin
But it's pretty sad when two of the
[18:34] Gin
biggest police forces in Edo are having a childish spat.
[18:38] Gin
We got a foolish cop who only cares
about saving the people he knows
[18:41] Gin
and a snappy cop who
won't try to save anyone.
[18:45] Gin
I don't feel like joining either side.
[18:48] Gin
I'm gonna side with my boys here.
[18:53] Gin
If you aren't going to save these boys,
[18:56] Gin
I'll step in and save a few
criminals in the process.
[19:00] Gin
Show me what you got, Vice Chief.
[19:03] Gin
You're first.
[19:05] Gin
Let's see if you can take down the Joi patriot
[19:09] Gin
known as the White Yaksha.
[19:20] Toshi
Sasaki.
[19:21] Toshi
You chose the wrong
person to use as a cog.
[19:29] Toshi
Don't bother.
[19:31] Toshi
You don't stand a chance against
[19:36] Toshi
the biggest thorn in the bush.
[19:38] Gin
You're the one who's lost his
mind over a single brat.
[19:42] Gin
Are you too scared to fight me now?
[19:45] Gin
Maybe I should kill the hostage
so you can focus on the fight?
[19:49] Toshi
Go ahead.
[19:52] Toshi
I've done what I can.
[19:54] Toshi
If you're saying that he's not as important
[19:56] Toshi
as the brats standing behind you,
go ahead and kill him.
[20:00] Toshi
As far as I'm concerned, they're all the same.
[20:05] Toshi
No, you and I are the same.
[20:10] Toshi
It won't make a difference if we
kill another kid or two now.
[20:14] Toshi
It's too late for that now.
[20:18] Toshi
We don't seek or expect forgiveness.
[20:23] Toshi
And we're not interested
in punishing criminals.
[20:27] Toshi
So we can't punish criminals,
and we can't redeem them,
[20:32] Toshi
but there is something that only we can do.
[20:36] Toshi
We can stop them from making
the same mistakes we made.
[20:42] Toshi
We can teach them to learn from
those mistakes and move on.
[20:49] Toshi
I'm not gonna give up on
trying to save people
[20:53] Toshi
like Mr. Smartypants over there.
[20:56] Toshi
We brats have to stick together.
[21:01] Toshi
But if you still want to kill him, go ahead.
[21:10] All
Huh?
[21:14] Toshi
You really killed him?!
[21:17] Gin
You told me to kill him!
[21:22] Isabu
Wrong.
[21:32] Yama
Chief!
[21:34] Yama
I have the hostage!
[21:37] Kondo
Way to hang in there.
[21:39] Kondo
No need to hold back now!
[21:41] Kondo
Go crazy!
[21:44] Kondo
Thornies!
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Devil
SIGN Monster
SIGN White Yaksha
SIGN The Thornies
SIGN can't be stopped!
SIGN Letter From Thorny
SIGN The festival has kicked into full gear as the battle nears an end. The Thorny arc ends next episode!!
SIGN A new letter has been written. What message does it carry...?
E247 - Letter From Thorny
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Tetsu
My name's Tetsunosuke Sasaki and I'm tied up like a hog.
[00:08] Tetsu
Been stuck like this for two weeks straight.
[00:11] Tetsu
Somebody get me outta here, yo.
[00:13] Both
Outta here, yo.
[00:14] Tetsu
Collar grabbed, knife in the face, letter torn up, and shunned.
[00:20] Tetsu
Been abused and tied up like a hog.
[00:23] Tetsu
Been abused and strung up like a log.
[00:31] Tetsu
Been stuck like this for two weeks straight.
[00:34] Tetsu
Somebody get me outta here, yo.
[00:36] Both
Outta here, yo.
[00:37] Tetsu
Tied up and almost killed, yo.
[00:39] Tetsu
But then my ass was saved.
[00:42] Tetsu
My tied-up ass was saved, but then he kicked me off.
[00:48] Tetsu
Tied up and almost killed, yo.
[00:51] Tetsu
But then my ass was saved.
[00:53] Tetsu
My tied-up ass was saved, but then he kicked me off.
[00:59] Tetsu
My tied-up ass is falling.
[01:02] Tetsu
If I fall, it's over.
[01:05] Tetsu
Been stuck like this for two weeks straight.
[01:07] Tetsu
Somebody get me outta here, yo.
[01:10] Both
Outta here, yo.
[01:11] Toshi
Hey, this is supposed to be a serious arc.
[01:13] Toshi
Cut this shit out, yo.
[01:15] Both
Out, yo.
[01:16] Tetsu
Yeah.
[02:48] Gin
Really. Well, then.
[02:50] Gin
Time to do things my way.
[02:54] Gin
Show me what you got, Vice Chief.
[02:57] Gin
You're first.
[02:59] Gin
Let's see if you can take down
[03:01] ---
the Joi patriot known as the White Yaksha.
[03:03] Toshi
I'm not gonna give up on trying to
[03:05] ---
save people like Mr. Smartypants over there.
[03:06] Toshi
We brats have to stick together.
[03:11] Toshi
But if you still want to kill him, go ahead.
[03:16] All
Huh?
[03:19] Toshi
You really killed him?!
[03:21] Gin
You told me to kill him!
[03:25] Isabu
Wrong.
[03:28] Yama
I have the hostage!
[03:31] Kondo
Way to hang in there.
[03:33] Kondo
Go crazy!
[03:36] Kondo
Thornies!
SIGN Letter From Thorny
[03:44] Isabu
It was a feint!
[03:45] Isabu
Pay them no heed!
[03:46] Isabu
Kill them and the terrorists!
[04:00] A
Ch-Chief!
[04:02] A
The windshield is cracked!
[04:03] A
And we can't see anything through the smoke!
[04:07] B
Cut 'em down!
[04:08] B
Where are they?! Where did they go?!
[04:19] D
They're hiding in the smoke!
[04:27] Em
I got it!
[04:29] Em
We can escape while the police are killing each other!
[04:32] A
How?
[04:34] A
We can't see anything in this smoke!
[04:36] Em
The hole!
[04:36] ---
We can escape through the hole that was opened by the explosion!
[04:44] Okita
And one!
[04:48] Okita
And two!
[04:49] Okita
And three!
[04:51] Em
Wait!
[04:51] Okita
And four!
[04:52] Em
It's an SM batting cage down here!
[04:52] Okita
And five!
[04:54] Okita
Six.
[04:55] Okita
Seven.
[04:55] Em
We got a total sadist batting down here!
[04:56] Okita
Eight.
[04:58] Okita
Nine.
[04:58] A
I've never heard of an SM batting cage!
[04:59] Okita
Ten.
[05:02] Em
And we got another one starting a rally!
[05:06] Em
Hey, what kind of game is this?!
[05:08] Em
Some new SM sport?!
[05:11] Okita
And 19, 20, 21,
[05:14] Okita
22, 23,
[05:15] Okita
24.
[05:17] B
Th-The stairs!
[05:18] B
The Mimawarigumi isn't watching them right now!
[05:19] B
-Hurry up!
[05:19] Yama
-And one.
[05:21] Yama
And two.
[05:22] Yama
And three.
[05:24] Yama
And four.
[05:25] Yama
And five.
[05:27] Yama
And six.
[05:27] Emi
Wait! It's an anpan factory over here!
[05:28] Yama
And seven.
[05:29] Yama
And eight.
[05:30] Emi
Turn back!
[05:31] Yama
And nine.
[05:31] Emi
Head for the pole outside!
[05:32] Yama
And ten.
[05:35] Both
Huh?
[05:36] Kondo
And one.
[05:38] Kondo
And two.
[05:39] Kondo
And three.
[05:41] Emi
We can't use it!
[05:42] Kondo
And four...
[05:43] Emi
The gorilla keeps sliding up and down!
[05:45] Emi
He's enjoying the stimulation to his crotch!
[05:49] Emi
What the hell do we do?!
[05:50] Emi
There's nowhere to run!
[05:53] Isabu
Fire.
[05:55] A
But we won't be able to tell friend from foe!
[05:58] Isabu
It doesn't matter.
[05:59] Isabu
Every moving body is a foe!
[06:01] A
I can see black uniforms!
[06:03] A
Fire!
[06:04] B
Wait!
[06:05] B
The Shinsengumi have already been defeated.
[06:08] Isabu
Is anyone moving?
[06:10] A
Nobody.
[06:12] A
There's one friendly...
[06:15] A
Hijika...
[06:20] A
A grenade!
[06:22] A
Evasive maneuvers! Quick!
[06:28] B
Can't pull up! Mayday! Mayday!
[06:31] A
Eject! Hurry!
[07:14] Okita
Looks like they're finished over there.
[07:17] Okita
We should also be...
[07:21] Nobu
It's not over.
[07:26] Nobu
Never sheathe your sword
[07:28] ---
before you've dispatched your target.
[07:31] Nobu
Isn't that right, killer?
[07:36] Okita
You're better at killing buildings than people.
[07:44] Okita
I don't carry a sheath.
[07:48] Okita
Maybe you have a good place to stick my sword?
[07:57] Okita
Don't get too worked up.
[08:00] Okita
You aren't my target.
[08:03] Okita
Sorry, but I took the last one from you.
[08:14] Okita
You and your big sword
[08:20] Okita
belong in there.
[08:23] Okita
The perfect sheath to rest
[08:27] ---
our dull edge.
[08:38] A
Ch-Chief!
[08:41] A
The building collapsed!
[08:42] B
It's one thing after another!
[08:44] B
What's going on?!
[08:46] Toshi
Help...
[08:48] Toshi
Summon reinforcements!
[08:53] A
Hurry!
[09:03] A
Ch-Chief!
[09:04] A
The terrorists have been tied up!
SIGN We surrender.
[09:07] A
They've given themselves up.
[09:10] A
H-However, we don't see the Shinsengumi anywhere!
[09:13] B
No, they're lying on the roof!
[09:17] A
Wait, look!
[09:19] A
These are Mimawarigumi officers in Shinsengumi uniforms!
[09:22] A
W-We can't find them!
[09:24] A
The Shinsengumi and the hostage have vanished!
[09:32] Isabu
I see.
[09:34] Isabu
They've likely disguised themselves as Mimawarigumi officers
[09:36] Isabu
to fool our advance force
[09:39] Isabu
and trick our helicopter into shooting our own men.
[09:43] Toshi
But since there wasn't much space on the roof,
[09:48] Toshi
we can tell the inspectors
[09:50] ---
that the Joi were responsible for everything.
[09:55] Yama
And while the Shinsengumi
[09:57] ---
were responsible for instigating the fight,
[10:00] Yama
the Mimawarigumi attacked first.
[10:03] Yama
The responsibility is all yours.
[10:07] Kondo
What do you think?
[10:08] Kondo
The crisis has been averted,
[10:11] Kondo
and there's enough credit to go around.
[10:13] Kondo
Why don't you call this a draw and back down?
[10:21] Toshi
How about it, Chief?
[10:28] Isabu
Secure the terrorists.
[10:31] Isabu
That will do.
[10:32] Isabu
You can have the hostage.
[10:34] Isabu
This crisis is over.
[10:40] Toshi
You have my gratitude, Chief.
[10:45] Isabu
No, we will both be working hard to keep the peace in Edo.
[10:51] Toshi
Yeah, we'll try not to get in the way of your elite asses.
[10:56] Isabu
Don't be so humble.
[10:58] Isabu
You are just as elite.
[11:05] Isabu
An elite thorn in my side.
[11:15] Kondo
Toshi, are you sure about leaving the terrorists with them?
[11:19] Toshi
Don't worry.
[11:21] Toshi
They won't kill people who have surrendered.
[11:26] Toshi
I'll put in a word with Matsudaira about their punishment.
[11:30] Yama
But everyone will be talking about the Mimawarigumi now.
[11:33] Yama
They took all the glory.
[11:36] Toshi
That's not true.
[11:38] Toshi
After all,
[11:41] Toshi
we landed ourselves the jackpot.
[11:43] Toshi
Isn't that right, White Yaksha?
[11:46] Gin
That's former White Yaksha!
[11:47] Gin
I saved your asses back there,
[11:49] ---
and now you're turning on me?!
[11:50] Toshi
I knew there was something fishy about you,
[11:52] Toshi
but I never dreamed that you were
[11:55] ---
a big-name Joi like Katsura.
[11:57] Gin
Former big name!
[11:58] Gin
You know that I'm a model citizen now!
[12:03] Yama
We can charge him with attempted murder.
[12:05] Yama
He kicked Tetsu off the roof.
[12:07] Gin
Okay, fine!
[12:09] Gin
So I'm a former Joi!
[12:12] Gin
But so is this boy here!
[12:14] Gin
Right, Tetsu-kun?
[12:15] Gin
If you start digging into the past, everyone will look like a criminal!
[12:18] Gin
If you're gonna arrest me, you better arrest him!
[12:20] Tetsu
He's right!
[12:22] Tetsu
Allow me to take responsibility!
[12:24] Tetsu
I will commit seppuku!
[12:25] Gin
What?!
[12:27] Tetsu
This crisis was my fault!
[12:30] Gin
No, er, wait!
[12:31] Gin
That wasn't my goal here!
[12:32] Tetsu
I was afraid to tell everyone,
[12:35] ---
to tell the vice chief, that I was a former Joi.
[12:39] Tetsu
But my secret led to this mess!
[12:43] Tetsu
I knew nothing!
[12:45] Tetsu
I envy you.
[12:48] Tetsu
So please don't run away from your brother!
[12:52] Tetsu
I thought I could offer you advice,
SIGN Tamegoro Hijikata
[12:54] Tetsu
but I couldn't even deliver your letter!
[12:59] Tetsu
Not to your brother...
[13:02] Tetsu
Not to mine...
[13:05] Toshi
You can always deliver another one.
[13:09] Toshi
And this time, you can write it yourself.
[13:12] Toshi
Didn't you promise that you
[13:14] ---
were going to become stronger than me?
[13:16] Toshi
It's your turn now.
[13:19] Toshi
You might not get the message to your brother.
[13:22] Toshi
But your dirty bros here can hear you loud and clear.
[13:30] Kondo
Yeah, but some of them probably can't read.
[13:38] Toshi
Tetsu, we'll always be waiting for your letter.
[13:44] Toshi
Never forget that.
[13:48] Tetsu
Vice Chief!
[13:49] Kondo
Hey, Toshi!
[13:50] Kondo
Toshi!
[14:07] Taka
Fishing in a pile of rubble?
[14:10] Taka
You're pretty whack,
[14:14] ---
Mr. Triple Threat.
[14:17] Taka
So? Catch anything?
[14:20] Isabu
Yes,
[14:22] ---
using cheap bait.
[14:24] Isabu
But I released my catch.
[14:25] Isabu
Since it would have been a waste to devour it now.
[14:29] Taka
Are you sure?
[14:31] Taka
Don't you owe it to the Bakufu heads who are backing you?
[14:39] Isabu
I have no intention of starting a turf war on broken land.
[14:44] Isabu
The Sasaki family is doomed to fall.
[14:47] Isabu
In that case, I will continue to use what bait I can.
[14:51] Isabu
If he can provide me entertainment, so much the better.
[14:55] Isabu
I now know that there are some dirty fish
[14:58] ---
waiting out there in this sea of rubble.
[15:05] Taka
So you're saving the best for last?
[15:08] Isabu
I'm sure we'll meet again.
[15:13] Isabu
Once we clear the rubble from this land,
[15:18] Isabu
we get to see how the fish act out of water.
[15:23] Isabu
I can't wait.
[15:32] Gin
Man, why do I have to do this?
[15:35] Tetsu
Don't say that!
[15:37] Tetsu
I'm the one who vouched for your innocence!
[15:40] Gin
I was innocent to begin with!
[15:42] Gin
I saved your asses back there!
[15:45] Tetsu
Please! You're the only person I can ask!
[15:48] Tetsu
I'll pay you!
[15:52] Tetsu
I finally finished my letter.
[15:55] Gin
Huh?
[15:56] Tetsu
This time, I'm going to deliver it!
[15:59] Gin
Who's the letter for?
[16:01] Tetsu
The vice chief wrote a letter to my brother for my sake.
SIGN Tamegoro Hijikata
[16:05] Tetsu
So it's my turn now...
[16:07] Gin
Huh? A letter for a dead person?
[16:10] Gin
The hell is wrong with you?
[16:11] Gin
What's the point?
[16:14] Tetsu
Please, I want to return the favor.
[16:17] Tetsu
So I must tell his brother that the vice chief is doing well.
[16:21] Gin
You must be joking.
[16:22] Gin
This is so funny it's sad.
[16:25] Tetsu
Uh, I believe the vice chief's brother's grave is over...
[16:29] Tetsu
Huh?
[16:30] Tetsu
Somebody's already there.
[16:33] A
Oh? This is unusual.
[16:36] A
Normally, there's only one other person who comes to visit.
[16:39] Tetsu
Huh? A-Are you his brother's...?
[16:42] Tetsu
Oh, I'm, well...
[16:47] A
Oh, that letter.
[16:49] A
I understand now.
[16:51] A
You came to deliver his letter.
[16:54] A
He always leaves his letters here without a word.
[16:58] Tetsu
Huh? You mean the vice chief?
[17:01] A
Yes, once every month.
[17:04] A
When my husband was still alive, he always looked
[17:07] ---
forward to Toshi's letters.
[17:09] Tetsu
Th-Then the vice chief and his brother were talking to one another?
[17:13] A
Only through their letters.
[17:15] A
The last time they met was many years ago.
[17:18] A
Yes, I believe it was the day before he left
[17:20] ---
for Edo with Kondo-san and his friends.
[17:23] A
We hadn't heard from him in years,
[17:24] ---
but then he suddenly showed up.
[17:26] A
But he refused to talk to his brother.
[17:29] A
They ate dinner in silence and drank in silence.
[17:34] Tame
Toshi, send letters.
[17:40] A
And then he left in silence.
[17:42] A
After that, he would send a letter every month.
[17:47] A
His brother was so thrilled.
[17:50] A
He couldn't see, yet he was always so eager.
[17:54] A
Has Toshi's letter come yet? Has Toshi's letter come yet?
[17:59] A
That's why I continue to read these letters for him.
[18:10] A
Though he's still a stubborn and tight-lipped boy in his letters.
[18:16] A
I suppose his brother, blind as he was, could see something in him.
[18:19] A
Their bond needed no words.
[18:23] A
No, I'm sure that brothers, family,
[18:30] A
just want to hear that you're still alive.
[18:39] A
Dear, you have another letter from Toshi.
[18:44] A
Here it is.
[18:46] A
Oh?
[18:49] Gin
You failed to deliver your letter again.
[18:52] Gin
Are you okay with that?
[18:54] Tetsu
It's okay.
[18:55] Tetsu
Now that I've seen his letters, I would be
[18:56] ---
too embarrassed to show his brother my letter.
[18:59] Tetsu
The vice chief and his brother were always linked.
[19:05] Tetsu
After hearing that, I'm content.
SIGN Greater Edo Hospital
SIGN From Thorny
[19:45] Toshi
Damn.
SIGN To Thorny
[19:48] Toshi
Can't think of anything to write.
[22:21] A
Ask Mr. Ginpachi!
[22:25] Gin
Okay. I'll read the next postcard.
[22:29] Gin
This is from someone with the pen name Akari-san.
[22:31] Gin
Hello, Mr. Ginpachi.
[22:33] Gin
There's a question that's been bugging me.
[22:35] Gin
Hijikata-san said that he would quit
[22:37] ---
smoking in the Ooey-gooey Balls episode, right?
[22:42] Gin
But I keep seeing him with white sticks in his mouth.
[22:47] Gin
Why is that?
[22:49] Gin
Is he trying to maintain his image?
[22:51] Gin
Are you the same, Mr. Ginpachi?
[22:53] Gin
I don't have a problem with smoking,
[22:56] ---
but please let me know if there is a reason.
[23:00] Gin
Okay, here's your answer.
[23:02] Gin
People who try to quit smoking always fail.
[23:06] Gin
I'm sure that Hiroshi Tachi will prove that soon,
[23:09] ---
so keep an eye out.
[23:12] Gin
By the way, this is a lollipop in my mouth.
[23:16] Gin
Did anyone forget?
[23:20] Mino
Welcome to Who Wants to Be a Madaonaire.
[23:22] Mino
The unemployed and middle-aged Taizo Hasegawa
[23:25] Mino
will be attempting to win an unheard of amount of money!
[23:30] Madao
Next time:
[23:30] Madao
Madaodog Madaonaire.
SIGN Madaodog Madaonaire
[23:32] Madao
Is that your final answer?
SIGN Trace back through your hazy memories for a chance to turn your life around!!
SIGN What will the Madao inside Madao declare to be his final answer?!
E248 - Madaodog Madaonaire
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN 2012 Kabuki District
SIGN Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire
[01:46] N
Taizo Hasegawa.
[01:49] N
He's one question away from becoming a Madaonaire.
[01:52] N
Why did he choose to continue?
[01:54] N
A: Because he wears sunglasses.
[01:57] N
B: Because he has no job.
[01:59] N
C: Because this show is rigged.
[02:02] N
D: Because he is a Madao.
SIGN Madaodog Madaonaire
[02:11] A
Hasegawa!
[02:13] A
Hasegawa!
[02:14] A
Hasegawa, it's headed your way!
[02:18] B
Catch it!
[02:21] B
You better catch it!
[02:26] C
How could you drop it?!
[02:29] A
Hey! It's you kids again!
[02:32] B
The guards are here!
[02:35] A
Wait up!
[02:51] Nomi
Middle-aged dumb-ass oldies,
[02:53] Nomi
also known as Madaos!
[02:55] Nomi
Do you want another chance at life?!
[03:00] Nomi
Do you want to climb up the ladder?!
[03:04] Nomi
Do you have the courage to fight back?!
[03:10] Nomi
This is the show for saving middle-aged dumb-ass oldies!
[03:13] Nomi
Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire?
[03:19] Nomi
Hello. I am your host, Nomi.
[03:24] Nomi
The Madao who makes it to the very end of the game
[03:30] Nomi
will receive ten million!
[03:33] Nomi
Which Madao will walk away with the money, into a brand new life?
[03:36] Nomi
Which of the many Madaos in Edo has been given a chance?
[03:41] Nomi
Come on down!
[03:43] Nomi
Middle-aged darn-amazing oldie!
[03:49] Nomi
Our first contestant lives
[03:51] ---
on a bench next to the Kabuki District, Hasegawa Taizo-san.
[03:56] Nomi
38 years old. Unemployed.
[04:00] Madao
Ow!
[04:03] Nomi
It's a pleasure, Hasegawa-san.
[04:06] Madao
Why am I here?
[04:09] Madao
That's what I want to know.
[04:11] Madao
When I woke up, I was lying in the middle
[04:13] ---
of a dump like a worn-out rag.
[04:16] Madao
All I could remember was that I had lost everything,
[04:19] ---
that I was trash...
[04:21] Madao
But I held something in my clenched fist!
SIGN Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire?
Golden Ticket
A dream come true for Madaos around the country.
[04:26] Madao
A single ray of light in this filthy dump.
[04:30] Madao
Where did it come from?
[04:32] Madao
I couldn't remember, but I followed the light here.
[04:38] Madao
There's one thing I could remember clearly.
[04:42] Madao
My thirst for the ten million.
[04:46] Madao
I'm going to take advantage of this last chance I've been given
[04:51] Madao
and climb out of the garbage heap!
[04:55] Nomi
And so, our contestant was a respectable public servant,
[04:58] Nomi
but then he lost his job, lost his wife, and now he's a Madao!
[05:02] Nomi
Will he be able to claim the ten million and start anew?
[05:07] Nomi
His fate rests upon this game show!
[05:11] Nomi
His quest for the ten million begins with the first question for one hundred thousand!
[05:16] Nomi
First question!
[05:18] Nomi
What was the nickname given to the eighth Tokugawa shogun,
[05:22] Nomi
Yoshimune, who introduced the Kyoho reforms?
[05:25] N
A: Tyrant Shogun
[05:27] N
B: Winter Shogun
[05:28] N
C: Rice Shogun
[05:30] N
D: Money Shogun
[05:31] Madao
Uh...
[05:32] Madao
This sounds really familiar!
[05:36] Madao
But I can't remember!
[05:37] Madao
Where have I heard this before?!
[05:38] Madao
Search my memories!
SIGN Temple School
[05:43] Madao
It was...
[05:44] Madao
It was when...
[05:45] A
And these were the Kyoho reforms.
SIGN New wage system Rice contributions Tax policy
[05:49] A
After introducing these reforms, Yoshimune became known as...
[05:52] Madao
Oh, that's it!
[05:54] Madao
I learned about this in class at temple school!
[05:56] A
Hm, Hasegawa, answer this question.
[05:58] A
What was Yoshimune known as?
[06:00] Madao
He called on me!
[06:02] Madao
D-Does the young me know the answer?
SIGN History
[06:04] Boy
U-Uh...
[06:06] Madao
It's over! He's eating his lunch!
[06:09] Madao
He wasn't even listening to the teacher!
[06:11] Madao
Damn, how am I supposed to know the answer?
[06:13] Boy
Uh...
[06:18] Madao
Huh?
[06:19] Madao
Who's this cute girl?
[06:21] Madao
I don't remember her sitting next to me.
[06:25] A
You have rice on your face.
[06:28] A
Correct.
[06:29] A
He was known as the Rice Shogun, just like you.
[06:33] Madao
Yeah, he's the Rice Shogun!
[06:36] Madao
And I don't recall experiencing this bittersweet episode?
[06:40] Madao
I sat next to this cute girl?
[06:43] Madao
Who is she?
[06:45] Madao
I can't remember.
[06:46] Madao
Can't remember her name or anything...
[06:49] Boy
Teacher, there's an old man struggling outside!
[06:53] A
Stop him!
SIGN C: Rice Shogun.
[06:56] Madao
I'm over there?!
[06:58] Nomi
Correct!
[06:59] Nomi
The answer is C: Rice Shogun!
[07:01] Nomi
Hasegawa-san gets his hundred thousand!
[07:05] Nomi
Oh, Hasegawa-san?
[07:06] Nomi
Are you unhappy about answering correctly?
[07:09] Madao
No wonder I couldn't remember her name.
[07:11] Madao
I was watching the scene from a completely different place.
[07:14] Madao
That brought back some bad memories...
[07:16] Nomi
Next, we'll move on to the question for five hundred thousand!
[07:22] Madao
The battle's just begun!
[07:24] Madao
Pull yourself together!
[07:25] Madao
I don't have time to mope around!
[07:28] Nomi
Second question!
[07:29] Nomi
In the Battle of Sekigahara,
[07:32] Nomi
which general betrayed the western army
[07:33] Nomi
and ensured the eastern army's victory?
[07:35] N
A: Tokunaga Hideaki
[07:37] N
B: Kobayakawa Hideaki
[07:39] N
C: Takizawa Hideaki
[07:41] N
D: Sorachi Hideaki
[07:42] Madao
Uh...
[07:44] Madao
I think I've heard this one before, too!
[07:46] Madao
Where?!
[07:47] Madao
Where did I hear it?!
[07:48] Madao
Try to remember!
[07:51] Madao
It was when...
[07:54] A
I see. Then we'll take a vote.
SIGN Life Lessons
[07:57] Madao
Yes! This was definitely something I learned at temple school!
[08:00] Madao
I'm sure of it!
[08:01] A
Will you eat the piggy yourselves,
[08:03] ---
or will you feed it to the lion?
[08:06] A
As you were the ones who raised him, you must decide yourselves.
[08:09] Madao
That's a pretty brutal life lesson!
[08:11] B
Teacher! We can't do it!
[08:13] Madao
Of course!
[08:14] B
We like steak more than pork chops!
[08:17] Madao
That's why you're crying?!
[08:19] C
Yeah! I'm sure lions like beef more than pork!
[08:23] Madao
What are they supposed to be learning here?
[08:26] Madao
Oh, I remember raising various animals at temple school.
[08:31] Madao
I learned many difficult life lessons that
[08:34] ---
I've completely forgotten.
[08:36] B
At the moment, the vote is evenly split.
[08:38] B
Oh, Hasegawa.
[08:40] B
What's your vote?
[08:42] Madao
Hm? Me?
[08:44] Madao
Which side did I choose?
[08:46] Madao
Please spare me!
[08:49] Madao
That's my final answer!
[08:51] A
How can you betray us at the last second?!
[08:54] B
Are you supposed to be Kobayakawa Hideaki?!
SIGN B: Kobayakawa Hideaki
[08:58] Madao
They were raising a bum, not a pig.
SIGN Off seven days a week.
[09:01] Nomi
Correct!
[09:02] Nomi
The five hundred thousand yen is yours!
[09:05] Nomi
Hasegawa-san is advancing towards the prize!
[09:08] Nomi
Yet he looks to be upset every time he gives a correct answer.
[09:13] Madao
I-I was going to do some hanging around,
[09:17] Madao
when someone stopped me and made me a pet.
SIGN Chicken Pig Rabbit
[09:20] Madao
But I never expected to be used in a lesson for kids.
[09:24] Madao
Well, I was doomed to die either way.
[09:28] Madao
B-But every time I reflect upon my memories,
[09:31] ---
I uncover another hidden trauma.
[09:34] Madao
I climb towards the light in the future,
[09:37] Madao
but the darkness in my past drags me down.
[09:40] Madao
Don't try to stop me!
[09:43] Madao
The ten million yen will be mine!
[09:49] Nomi
That brings us to the third question, for one million yen!
[09:53] Nomi
These Shock Stickers are all the rage in Edo right now!
[09:56] Nomi
Which of the following characters has their hair parted 7:3?
[10:00] N
A: Little Fatty
[10:01] Madao
He suddenly switched categories!
[10:01] N
B: Cool Body Fat
[10:03] N
C: Fried Chicken Angel
[10:03] Madao
I-I won't be able to search my life for the answer to this question!
[10:06] N
D: Super Glasses
[10:07] Madao
Wait, is there an answer inside me?
[10:11] Madao
Even when I've never heard these names before?
[10:15] Chi
Sorry, Piggy.
[10:17] Chi
They're so mean.
[10:19] Chi
Arguing about whether or not they should eat you after I saved you.
[10:22] Chi
Something's wrong with them.
[10:23] Chi
I-It's her.
[10:25] Chi
The Rice Shogun girl!
[10:27] Chi
She freed me from the school execution?!
[10:32] Madao
This is the second time you've saved me.
[10:36] Madao
Why are you helping me?
[10:40] Chi
You remind me of my dad.
[10:43] Chi
My dad used to do a lot of hanging around, the way you do.
[10:47] Chi
But I would always stop him.
[10:51] Chi
He ran off, leaving behind his debts.
[10:54] Chi
Mom and I have no money, but it's okay.
[11:00] Chi
As long as we know he's still alive,
[11:02] ---
we can keep on going.
[11:05] Chi
My dream is to become a massive-asset dat-ass object, or Madao,
SIGN Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire?
[11:11] Chi
and participate in this.
[11:13] Chi
I'll be able to pay off our debts,
[11:15] Chi
and Dad might come back after he sees me on TV.
SIGN A: Dat ass
[11:19] Chi
So I have to study hard at temple school!
[11:23] Chi
But if I run into a question I don't know,
[11:29] Chi
it'll be your turn to save me.
[11:33] Chi
I'll use a lifeline to call you.
[11:36] Chi
So please tell me the answer.
[11:42] Madao
Yes, I made a promise to her.
[11:47] Madao
But before she had a chance to become a massive-asset
[11:51] Madao
dat-ass object, or Madao, the phone rang.
[12:00] A
Hey, it's for you, Hasegawa-san.
[12:02] A
Someone keeps asking for Piggy.
[12:05] A
If she knows this number, she must be an acquaintance of yours.
[12:09] Madao
Huh?
[12:10] A
I can't understand you if you keep crying.
[12:14] Madao
Hello?
[12:17] Madao
Hey, what's wrong? What happened?
[12:19] Chi
Piggy...
[12:21] Chi
When I came home from school, Mom was...
[12:23] Chi
Mom was lying on the floor.
[12:26] Chi
I keep shaking her, but she won't wake up!
[12:30] Chi
What should I do?
[12:32] Chi
Tell me, Piggy... Piggy...
[12:35] Madao
I failed as her lifeline.
[12:39] Madao
All I could do was stare at the stickers on the phone.
SIGN Little Fatty
[12:46] Nomi
Hasegawa-san chooses A: Little Fatty.
[12:50] Nomi
Is that your final answer?
[12:55] Hasegawa
That is my final answer.
[13:08] Nomi
We'll tell you if he's right after the break!
[13:18] Nomi
Correct!
[13:20] Nomi
A: Little Fatty!
[13:21] Nomi
Hasegawa-san has answered three questions correctly!
[13:23] Nomi
He's made it to one million yen!
[13:26] Nomi
Oh! He's fainted!
[13:28] Nomi
Hasegawa-san has looked pale after every correct answer,
[13:30] ---
and now he's collapsed!
[13:33] Madao
H-How could that have happened?
[13:35] Madao
How could I have forgotten?
[13:39] Madao
I'm such a Madao.
[13:43] Madao
No more...
[13:45] Madao
I don't want to learn how pathetic I am.
[13:49] Madao
This is where I belong.
[13:52] Madao
I don't have the right to escape the garbage dump.
[13:54] A
Hey, are you okay?
[13:57] B
Take him to the infirmary!
[13:59] Madao
Don't have... Don't have the right...
[14:04] Madao
Please give me the next question.
[14:08] Nomi
He stood up!
[14:09] Nomi
After fainting and coughing up blood, he continues on!
[14:12] Madao
I'm okay!
[14:14] Nomi
He wants the ten million really bad!
[14:17] Madao
I want the ten million...
[14:19] Madao
You bet.
[14:20] Madao
I may have lost my will to live,
[14:22] ---
but my desire for the ten million remains.
[14:25] A
This guy's pretty tough.
[14:27] B
Start making the questions harder.
[14:29] B
It's time to get rid of him.
[14:30] Madao
But I no longer know why I want the money or who it's for...
[14:36] Nomi
Question four!
[14:37] Nomi
Name this constellation.
[14:39] N
A: Toilet Minor
[14:40] Madao
I can't quit until I've figured that out...
[14:41] N
B: Brave Exkaiser
[14:42] N
C: Summer Visor
[14:48] Chiharu
It's so warm inside this cardboard box.
[14:52] Chiharu
It's like a play castle.
[14:55] Chiharu
This is fun!
[15:00] Madao
Was she forcing herself to sound happy,
[15:03] Madao
or was she actually enjoying herself?
[15:07] Chiharu
Piggy, I get to sleep while looking up at the stars.
[15:11] Chiharu
It's like we're camping.
[15:14] Chiharu
Do you know what that constellation is?
[15:18] Madao
She was always smiling.
SIGN A: Toilet Minor
[15:22] Nomi
Correct!
[15:26] Nomi
Question five!
[15:27] Nomi
Which of the following bento is the most popular at 8-11?
[15:31] Madao
This was all I could manage to do for her...
[15:34] Nomi
Oh, this is the one that everyone says is really good!
[15:38] Nomi
It still looks safe to eat.
[15:43] Nomi
C-Correct!
[15:45] Nomi
Question six!
[15:46] Nomi
Which gachapon is very popular with the kids right now?
[15:49] Madao
Keep looking.
[15:50] Chiharu
Uh-huh.
[15:52] Chiharu
Look! This is the one you wanted!
[15:56] Madao
She always had a smile on her face.
SIGN A: Kinniguman
[16:00] ---
Correct!
[16:03] Madao
I was supposed to be helping her smile,
[16:05] Madao
but it was the other way around.
[16:09] Chiharu
Piggy, I've always dreamed about this.
[16:12] Madao
Huh?
[16:13] Chiharu
Cooking for Dad when he came home early
[16:18] Chiharu
and chitchatting.
[16:20] Madao
Did you call me Dad?!
[16:22] Chiharu
We might live in a cardboard house
[16:24] ---
and drink tea from empty cans
[16:26] Chiharu
while Dad is always home,
[16:28] Chiharu
but I'm having a lot of fun right now.
[16:32] Chiharu
This is the first time I've felt at home.
[16:39] Chiharu
So...
[16:40] Chiharu
I'll give this to you.
SIGN Who Wants To Be A Madaonaire? Golden Ticket A dream come true for Madaos around the country.
[16:43] Madao
Isn't that...
[16:45] Chiharu
It's okay now.
[16:47] Chiharu
I got to see Dad...
[16:53] Madao
Hey!
[16:54] Madao
Hang in there! Hey!
[16:56] Madao
Hey!
[16:58] Madao
Come on!
[16:59] Dad
I'm terribly sorry.
[17:02] Dad
I never dreamed that my wife and daughter
[17:05] ---
would fall ill while I was away.
[17:07] Dad
I should not have insisted on staying away until I found a proper job.
[17:12] Dad
I'll find a way to pay their hospital bill...
[17:19] Madao
Money doesn't matter.
[17:22] Madao
Who gives a damn if you have debts?
[17:29] Chiharu
This is the first time I've felt at home.
[17:33] Madao
It doesn't matter if you live in a dump, as long as you're together.
[17:39] A
Sorry to interrupt, but we're debt collectors.
[17:45] B
Don't give me that crap!
[17:48] B
A piece of shit like you is gonna guarantee their debt?!
[17:53] Madao
I promise to pay it off.
[17:55] Madao
So stay away from that family.
[17:57] C
A bum like you won't have enough money!
[18:01] D
You know where to get some?
[18:03] Madao
You bet.
[18:05] Madao
I've got this piece of paper I dug out of the trash.
[18:08] A
That's bullshit!
[18:11] Nomi
Correct!
SIGN D: Wriggled around
[18:13] Nomi
Our contestant is on a roll!
[18:14] Nomi
Answering one question after another!
[18:16] Nomi
Hasegawa-san has finally reached seven million five hundred thousand yen!
[18:19] Nomi
He's one question away from ten million!
[18:21] A
I-Impossible!
[18:22] A
How was he able to answer that question?!
[18:24] B
Who is this Madao?!
[18:26] B
Hey! Find an impossible question to give him!
[18:29] Nomi
He no longer has a pained expression on his face.
[18:33] Nomi
What has come over him?!
[18:37] Madao
Heh, nothing's changed.
[18:39] Madao
But I've finally remembered.
[18:42] Madao
I can accept my failures, my pathetic life.
[18:48] Madao
I realize that I'm a hopeless Madao!
[18:53] Madao
Since I forgot a very important promise.
[18:57] B
Use this question!
[18:58] B
This tiny article in today's paper!
[19:00] B
I'm positive that Madao hasn't read it!
[19:06] Nomi
Here is the final question, for ten million yen!
[19:10] Nomi
This is it!
[19:11] Nomi
What is the name of the first victim of the new contagious virus,
[19:16] Nomi
MADAO 49, who was able to make a full recovery
[19:20] ---
after treatment on another planet?
[19:23] N
A: Nakajima Tomoko
[19:25] N
B: Sakurajima Chiharu
[19:27] N
C: Kato Shizue
[19:29] N
D: Terashima Kyoko
[19:31] Nomi
This is a tough one!
[19:33] Nomi
Can Hasegawa-san answer the question and win ten million yen?!
[19:38] Madao
Excuse me, can I use a lifeline?
[19:41] Madao
I'd like to call someone.
[19:42] Nomi
Hasegawa-san immediately uses a lifeline!
[19:45] Nomi
But do any of his friends know the answer to this question?!
[20:06] Nomi
Nobody's picking up.
[20:10] Nomi
Too bad!
[20:15] Madao
Yeah, hello?
[20:19] Madao
Yeah, it's me.
[20:22] Madao
Sorry about taking so long to call.
[20:25] Madao
This is...
[20:28] Madao
This is Piggy's final answer.
[20:36] Madao
Live a happy life with your mom and dad, Chiharu.
SIGN B: Sakurajima Chiharu
[20:42] Nomi
Correct!
SIGN Congratulations!!
[20:50] Nomi
He's done it!
[20:52] Nomi
Hasegawa-san has won the ten million!
[20:56] Nomi
Our contestant was acquainted with the girl in the final question!
[21:00] Nomi
A miracle phone call!
[21:01] Nomi
Endless cheers for our Madao!
[21:02] Nomi
No, he is no longer a Madao!
[21:05] Nomi
He is a Miracle Madao who's made it to the top!
[21:12] A
Damn, I'm impressed.
[21:14] A
Then we'll be taking the prize money, big guy.
[21:18] Madao
You can call me Madao.
[21:21] Madao
I still have much to learn
[21:25] A
Don't be so modest.
[21:26] A
There aren't many people who can pay off ten million so easily.
[21:31] A
I hope you can be as quick on the rest of the debt.
[21:35] Madao
Huh?
SIGN Taizo Hasegawa is one question away from becoming a Madaonaire. Why did he choose to continue?
SIGN A: Because he wear sunglasses.
C: Because this show is rigged.
SIGN B: Because he has no job.
D: Because he is Madao.
[21:37] A
The rest of the debt. Twenty million.
[21:41] A
I'm counting on you.
[21:43] Madao
What?!
SIGN D: Because he is a Madao.
SIGN D: Because he is a Madao.
SIGN Next Time
[23:20] Kagura
What was that, you stupid curlyhead?!
[23:23] Shin
Cut it out already!
[23:24] Gin
Huh? Why are you so mad?
[23:25] Both
Eh?! Do you realize how many weeks it's been since we were last on screen?!
[23:29] Gedo
It's been two years for me.
[23:31] Both
Oh...
SIGN Presents Are Meant To Be Given Early
[23:32] Gin
Next time:
[23:32] Gin
Presents are meant to be given early.
SIGN Shinpachi and Kagura haven't said a word since the Chageath Note episode.
SIGN What is the definition of a regular cast member? Nobody even cares anymore.
E249 - Presents Are Meant To Be Given Early
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Shinpachi Shimura
Visits the World
[00:01] Shin
Oh, hello. This is Shinpachi Shimura.
[00:03] Shin
The Odd Jobs member who hasn't
been on screen for a month.
[00:08] Shin
In this show, I usually
play a straight man.
SIGN Filmed in Tokyo
[00:18] Shin
Hey!
[00:19] Shin
Cut it out!
[00:21] Shin
This is supposed to be anime!
[00:22] Shin
It's been weeks since my last appearance!
[00:23] ---
You could at least draw me!
[00:25] Shin
I'm easier to draw than the
pattern on Gin-san's clothes!
[00:27] Shin
I take less lines to draw
than the Shinsengumi uniform!
[00:30] Shin
When did I go from someone recognized
by his glasses to just glasses!
[00:34] Gin
Well, at least you aren't
recognized by your nipples.
[00:36] Shin
There aren't any Jump characters
recognized by their nipples!
[00:38] Shin
And there never will be!
[00:39] Shin
This doesn't count as
a live-action segment!
[00:41] Shin
The only thing glasses and nipples
[00:42] ---
have in common is the fact
that they come in pairs!
[00:46] Kagura
You finally get some screen
time and all you do is blab.
[00:50] Shin
That's not my fault!
[00:51] Shin
How am I supposed to stay quiet?!
[00:53] Shin
Hey! Hold on!
[00:54] Shin
It's been a while, so
let me rant some more!
SIGN The End Glasses provided by Animate Costume Museum ACOS
[02:29] Ana
Today will be the coldest
day yet this winter.
[02:33] Ana
Make sure you dress warmly
[02:36] ---
so you don't catch a
cold before Christmas.
[02:38] Gin
You got it!
[02:39] Ana
Please have a wonderful day!
[02:43] Gin
I will!
[02:44] Kagura
Go find work, you bum.
[02:47] Shin
Gin-san, it's a little early for you
to be making so much noise over there.
[02:51] Gin
Ana Ketsuno is talking to me.
[02:53] ---
I can't just ignore her.
[02:55] Kagura
He's been like this ever
since that Onmyoji mess.
[02:58] Kagura
He thinks that Ana Ketsuno is
talking to him through the TV.
[03:02] Kagura
That smile is for me.
[03:04] ---
Her words are for me.
[03:06] Kagura
He's out of his mind.
[03:08] Shin
Hey, you sound like a pathetic fan.
[03:11] Shin
That's the kind of stuff stalkers say.
[03:14] Gin
But she was looking at me.
[03:17] Gin
What do you want me to do?
[03:18] Kagura
Are you stupid?
[03:20] Kagura
She's not going to fall for you
because you helped out once.
[03:23] Kagura
TV personalities go out
with baseball players
[03:27] Kagura
and have shotgun marriages
with J Leaguers.
[03:29] Kagura
They're brutal athletes who
chase more balls than the players.
[03:33] Kagura
They wouldn't be interested
in your dirty balls.
[03:36] Gin
Ana Ketsuno is different!
[03:38] Gin
She's as stoic as the pit traps
in the Road to Rhone, you idiot!
[03:45] Ana
It's time for today's black horoscope!
[03:48] Ana
Today's lucky sign is
[03:50] Ana
Libra.
[03:53] Ana
Yes, you with the curly hair, dumb face,
[03:56] ---
and a toothbrush in your mouth.
[03:58] Gin
H-Hey, look!
[03:59] Gin
She's talking about me!
[04:00] Gin
Who else could she mean?!
[04:02] Ana
You just might receive a
wonderful present today.
[04:05] Ana
Something good will come.
[04:06] Gin
P-Present?
[04:08] Gin
Like a love, love letter?
[04:11] Ana
And your lucky item is a bright red...
[04:15] Gin
Bright red?
[04:18] Gedo
Club.
[04:21] Gin
Saber!
[04:25] Shin
Y-You're...
[04:28] Gedo
It's been a while, Gintoki-sama.
[04:31] Shin
Gedomaru-san!
SIGN Presents Are Meant To Be Given Early
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan Snack Otose
[04:39] Gin
Uh...
[04:41] Gin
So what?
[04:42] Gin
You're the wonderful present?
[04:45] Gedo
I'm not a present.
[04:47] Gedo
I have merely returned.
[04:49] Gedo
As I said before, the pact
makes you my other master.
[04:55] Gedo
I have merely come back to where I belong.
[04:58] Gedo
Please make yourself at home.
[05:02] Gin
Uh, that's what your master
is supposed to say!
[05:04] Gedo
Oh, were you having breakfast?
[05:07] Gedo
Sorry, now it looks like
I'm here for a free meal.
[05:12] Gedo
Then I'll help myself.
[05:15] Gin
That's not breakfast!
[05:16] Gin
Why are you here?!
[05:18] Gin
How is this a wonderful present?!
[05:20] Gin
This is like Zombie Express.
[05:22] Kagura
Gin-chan, who is she?
[05:24] Shin
Huh? You don't remember her?
[05:27] Shin
This is the shikigami Gedomaru-san.
[05:30] Shin
You just mentioned the battle
[05:32] Shin
between Ana Ketsuno's family, the
Ketsuno clan, and the Shirino clan.
[05:37] Shin
This is Ana Ketsuno's shikigami
who fought alongside Gin-chan.
[05:40] Kagura
Oh, she's that one girl.
[05:42] Kagura
There was a lot happening near
the end of the first season,
[05:46] ---
so I forgot about her.
[05:48] Shin
What's that?!
[05:49] Shin
That sounds like something one of the
[05:51] ---
staff members on this show would say!
[05:55] Kagura
This is all I really
remember from that arc.
[05:57] Shin
That dumb joke?!
[05:58] Kagura
So why is a character
from the first season
[06:00] Kagura
showing up around the same
time two years later.
[06:03] Gin
She probably tried to sneak in an
appearance since we're busy again.
[06:08] Gin
Nobody invited you here.
[06:09] Gin
Pay me for the damage to the TV and scram!
[06:11] Gin
That's an order!
[06:14] Gedo
Then...
[06:15] Gedo
Please sign here and then we can
SIGN Shikigami Divorce Gedomaru Gintoki Sakata
[06:17] ---
let our lawyers work out the details.
[06:19] Gedo
How does two hundred million
sound as a settlement?
[06:21] Gedo
It's not easy for a shikigami
who's been divorced.
[06:25] Gin
Why are you making it sound
like this is a marriage?!
[06:27] Gin
Is this some kind of new scam?!
[06:29] Gedo
That's too bad.
[06:32] Gedo
I came here to make Christel-sama happy.
[06:35] Gedo
Sigh, if you had cooperated,
[06:38] ---
Christel-sama would have fallen
head over heels for you.
[06:42] Gin
H-Hold on!
[06:43] Gin
What did you just say?
[06:45] Gin
Hey! Wait up!
[06:46] Gin
Please wait, my master!
[06:51] Gin
Huh?
[06:52] Gin
A Christmas present?
[06:55] Gedo
That's right.
[06:57] Gedo
We shikigami wish to give
our master a present
[07:01] ---
to show our appreciation.
[07:03] Shin
Shikigami?! Isn't that
the wrong religion?!
[07:06] Shin
And aren't demons supposed
to be anti-Christmas?!
[07:10] Kagura
Don't bring that up, Shinpachi.
[07:13] Shin
Huh? Really?
[07:14] Kagura
First, you should mention how this is a
weird time to air a Christmas episode.
[07:18] Kagura
They should have used Valentine's
or White Day instead.
[07:22] Shin
You weren't supposed to say that!
[07:23] Shin
Everybody knows that Jump and the
anime are on different schedules!
[07:27] Shin
We aired a Christmas episode
in March two years ago!
[07:31] Shin
And when the second season started,
[07:33] ---
we aired a New Year's episode in April!
[07:35] Shin
Anyway, enough about Christmas.
[07:38] ---
What's the problem?
[07:40] Gedo
As you already know, I
am a combat shikigami.
[07:44] Gedo
I don't know what present
will make her happy.
[07:48] Gedo
So...
[07:50] Gin
I see.
[07:51] Gin
So you wanted advice from
the natural playboy Gin-san.
[07:56] Shin
Gedomaru-san, he spends his time
playing pachinko by himself.
[08:01] Gin
Well, in that case, I'm
willing to help you out,
[08:05] Gin
but what do I get out of it?
[08:07] Gedo
I'll hand your present to Christel-sama too.
[08:11] Gin
Aha! That works!
[08:13] Gin
Hey, I thought you were
just a rotten joke,
[08:16] ---
but you have a sweet side.
[08:18] Kagura
I'm impressed. You can be cute.
[08:21] Gedo
It's like watching Gian
in Doraemon movies.
[08:24] Gedo
One day of agony and
[08:26] ---
the other 364 days of
tyranny are forgiven.
[08:30] Shin
She's rotten to the core!
[08:33] Shin
Oh, well.
[08:34] Shin
Let's get going then!
[08:36] Shin
I'll buy something for Sis!
[08:37] Kagura
Hey, that's no fair!
[08:39] Kagura
Gin-chan, please buy me something!
SIGN Santa Festival
[08:42] Kagura
Hey, there's a Santa Festival over there!
[08:45] Shin
I'm sure we'll find some wonderful
presents there, Gedomaru-san!
[08:48] Shin
What are you two doing? Hurry up!
[09:00] A
Lombroso.
[09:15] Gedo
What's wrong, you guys?
[09:17] Shin
Uh, well...
[09:19] Shin
I thought we were heading
towards a Santa Festival?
[09:23] Shin
I could have sworn there was a Santa
Festival here a few seconds ago.
SIGN Satan Festival
[09:29] Both
Huh?
[09:30] Gedo
Oh, you must have read the sign wrong!
[09:33] Shin
The hell we did!
[09:34] Shin
When did Santa turn into Satan?!
[09:37] Shin
Where did all these evil
creatures come from?!
[09:39] Shin
This is like an anti-Christmas pow-wow!
[09:43] Gedo
It appears after sensing my vast power,
[09:46] Gedo
they broke through the barrier
and opened the gates.
[09:49] Gedo
We are currently standing where
the Santa Festival is being held,
[09:53] Gedo
but we are in a completely
different dimension.
[09:56] Gedo
The demon world.
SIGN Beware of pets!
[09:57] Shin
This show is turning into
a different anime again!
[10:00] Gin
Pachi-boy, check it out.
[10:02] Gin
They mixed up Christmas and Halloween.
[10:05] Shin
Mixed them up?!
[10:06] Shin
They're the real deal!
SIGN Satan Festival
[10:08] Shin
We've ended up in a Satan Festival
instead of a Santa Festival!
[10:11] Shin
We don't have time to look
for Christmas presents!
[10:14] Kagura
Does it even matter?
[10:15] Kagura
It's like the difference
between Hagiwara and Ogiwara.
[10:17] Shin
They're completely different!
[10:19] Gin
Santa and Satan.
[10:20] Gin
One brings dreams, the
other brings despair.
[10:24] Gin
They're more or less the same.
[10:25] Shin
They're not the same!
[10:26] Shin
If you consider them similar,
everything's similar!
SIGN Roast Minotaur
[10:28] Kagura
I want some minotaur!
[10:30] Gedo
As expected, Gintoki-sama
does not fear any devil.
[10:34] Shin
Don't just admire him!
[10:35] Shin
We're in trouble!
[10:36] Shin
We can leave, right?!
[10:38] Shin
We're safe, right?!
[10:39] Gedo
Actually, the foreign devils
have been invading our turf,
[10:41] Gedo
much like what is happening
in the real world.
[10:44] Gedo
Satan's getting a little cocky.
I should teach him a lesson.
[10:48] Shin
Stop it! That's not our style!
[10:49] Shin
Let Jump Square handle that!
[10:52] Gedo
You're right.
[10:53] ---
But we might find a good present here.
[10:56] Shin
It seems rather inconsiderate to purchase
[10:58] ---
a Christmas present in the demon world!
[11:00] Gedo
Darkness makes light brighter!
[11:04] Shin
There's only darkness here!
[11:05] Shin
Right now, our futures and your
character are completely dark!
[11:08] Kagura
Hey, Gedomaru. How's this?
[11:12] Kagura
We can give it to Ana Ketsuno.
[11:13] Shin
We're looking for a Christmas present!
[11:16] Kagura
But it's a cross.
[11:17] Shin
With a monster impaled on it!
[11:20] Fra
I'm not a cross.
[11:22] Fra
I'm Frankenfurt.
[11:24] Fra
I keep evil spirits away.
[11:25] Shin
What's a Frankenfurt?!
[11:27] Shin
How can you keep evil spirits
away when you're an evil spirit?!
[11:29] Gedo
Mind if I test it?
[11:32] Fra
Oh, go ahead.
[11:37] Gedo
No good.
[11:38] Gedo
It couldn't keep me away.
[11:40] Gedo
Next.
[11:41] Shin
What kind of test was that?!
[11:42] Kagura
How about this then?
[11:44] Kagura
Ana Ketsuno won't have any trouble
on her demon day of the month.
[11:47] Shin
Why?! Why would you buy
demon goods for Christmas?!
[11:50] Shin
And what is her demon day of the month?!
[11:52] A
This is a hot item right now.
[11:54] A
That demon has the smile of an angel.
[11:56] Shin
You're a demon for trying to buy
this as a Christmas present!
[12:01] Gedo
Mind if I test it?
[12:03] A
Oh, go ahead.
[12:04] Shin
How are you going to test it?!
[12:09] Gedo
No good.
[12:11] Gedo
It couldn't beat the weight.
[12:13] Gedo
Next.
[12:14] Shin
You're missing the point!
[12:15] Gin
Hey, Gedomaru.
[12:17] Gin
How about this?
[12:18] Gin
For Ana Ketsuno.
[12:21] Shin
All that does is wash her ass!
[12:23] Gin
No, that's not all it does.
[12:25] Shin
That wouldn't even hit anything!
[12:27] Shin
What happened to Christmas?!
[12:30] Gin
She'll feel refreshed
after washing her ass.
[12:33] Shin
How will that bring a Merry Christmas?!
[12:34] A
Big guy, this here is an
acid shower toilet that can
[12:38] ---
wash away any fucking shit.
[12:40] Shin
Do you people think Ana
Ketsuno has a dirty ass?
[12:43] Gedo
That looks dangerous,
so mind if I test it?
[12:46] Shin
You should stop. You should
stop, Gedomaru-san.
[12:51] Gedo
Okay, next.
[12:52] Shin
You didn't even test it!
[13:15] Gin
It's not easy to find a
present for Ana Ketsuno.
[13:20] Shin
Uh, let's just forget about Ana Ketsuno.
[13:24] Shin
We should also forget about Christmas.
[13:26] Shin
We really don't have time for this.
[13:28] Gin
You keep complaining.
[13:30] Gin
Help us look, Pachi-boy.
[13:31] Shin
Uh, I'm busy playing the straight man.
[13:34] Kagura
Shinpachi, do you know what
people who watch Gintama
[13:36] Kagura
in countries that don't follow the
concept of straight men say about you?
[13:40] Kagura
Why does that glasses
kid keep yapping away?
[13:42] Shin
Which country is that?!
[13:44] Shin
You people don't realize
how important my role is!
[13:46] Kagura
If you're mad, find a different
way to distinguish yourself.
[13:50] Shin
Okay, but we're stuck
in the demon world...
[13:52] Shin
Oh, excuse me.
[13:54] Shin
Oops, my lips just brushed
against someone else's lips.
[13:58] Gin
What are you doing, Shinpachi?
[13:59] ---
That's just merchandise.
[14:01] Kagura
What are those? They're gross.
[14:04] Gin
They look kind of familiar...
[14:07] Gin
Hey, Shinpachi.
[14:16] Shin
Pa...
[14:17] Shin
Pandemonium-san.
[14:23] Pan
I-It can't be...
[14:26] Shin
Why are you here?
[14:30] Shin
You disappeared before my eyes...
[14:36] Shin
How can you be here?
[14:38] Pan
Sh-Shinpachi-kun...
[14:42] Shin
Pandemonium-san...
[14:45] Shin
Pandemonium-san!
[14:48] Pan
Sh-Shinpachi-kun!
[14:56] Shin
Why?!
[14:58] Gedo
Well, you were acting so stupid
that I couldn't help myself.
[15:01] Shin
I'm gonna kill you, bitch!
[15:03] Shin
Give her back!
[15:04] Shin
Give me back my Pandemonium-san!
[15:06] Gedo
Um, excuse me.
SIGN Yummy Pandemonium
[15:07] Gedo
Can I get a Pandemonium?
[15:10] Gedo
I'm sure that everyone's hungry.
[15:12] Shin
You're going to eat her?!
[15:17] Shin
She did it...
[15:19] Shin
She ate her right before my eyes.
[15:29] Gedo
It's not easy to find a present.
[15:33] Gedo
I never thought that giving someone
something was so difficult.
[15:38] Gedo
This shows that I'm a heartless creature.
[15:41] Gedo
It was too early for
me to try to be human.
[15:45] Kagura
Hey, get a hold of yourself.
[15:47] Kagura
Aren't you trying to be a movie Gian?
[15:49] Kagura
The point is that a heartless bastard
[15:50] ---
like you is even bothering
to find a present.
[15:52] Shin
Are you trying to make
her feel better or worse?
[15:54] Gin
How's this sound?
[15:55] ---
Let's try looking for something
you want for a while.
[15:59] Gedo
Huh?
[16:00] Gin
You won't get anywhere wondering
what she might like.
[16:04] Gin
So start by thinking about what
you would like as a present.
[16:09] Gedo
But Christel-sama and I
have different tastes...
[16:11] Gin
Just choose something.
[16:22] Gedo
Then I choose this.
[16:29] Shin
Uh, what are we going to do, Gin-san?
[16:31] Shin
What is that?
[16:32] Kagura
Oh, it's a hair ornament.
[16:34] Shin
A hair ornament?
[16:35] Shin
More like what used to
be under someone's hair.
[16:38] Gin
Would you be happy if
someone gave that to you?
[16:50] Gedo
No, any present from Christel-sama
would make me happy.
[16:54] Gin
There you have it.
[16:57] Gin
Hey, pops. I'll take
this snappy headdress.
[16:59] Shin
Hey, Gin-san!
[17:04] Gin
Two of them.
[17:05] Gin
I'm also buying one,
so give me a discount.
[17:07] Gin
If she doesn't like it, I'll blame you.
[17:10] Gin
Make sure you give her
that one so you match.
[17:16] A
Sorry, big guy. I can't sell that to you.
[17:19] Gin
Huh?
[17:21] A
I don't sell anything to humans.
[17:24] A
But I can throw together
some cheap ornaments...
[17:28] A
...from your skulls!
[17:37] A
This is brilliant!
[17:39] A
Some humans ended up here.
[17:42] B
Their skulls should fetch a pretty penny.
[17:44] C
I want their arms.
[17:45] D
I want their heads.
[17:47] E
I want their nails!
[17:55] Shin
Gin-san! What do we do?!
[18:12] Gedo
Oh, he was right.
[18:15] Gedo
A free hair ornament.
[18:17] Shin
I can't tell who's the bad guy here!
[18:20] A
I-Impossible!
[18:22] A
There's a Japanese demon with them!
[18:24] A
A crazy one!
[18:25] B
She's a devil-class!
[18:26] C
H-Hurry! Call for Lord Satan!
[18:29] D
A Japanese devil is invading!
[18:31] D
This is war!
[18:38] Gin
Gedomaru...
[18:40] Gedo
I'm sorry about dragging you into this.
[18:45] Gedo
But I'm glad.
[18:48] Gedo
Now I understand why humans give presents.
[18:56] Gedo
I thought it would be a chore,
but it wasn't too bad.
[19:01] Gedo
Next time, I'll choose my present myself
[19:05] Gedo
since I now know that it's
meaningless otherwise.
[19:10] Gedo
Gintoki-sama, I was the one who received
[19:14] ---
a wonderful present today.
[19:18] Gedo
Until we meet again.
[19:28] Shin
Huh?
[19:29] Shin
Wait a sec.
[19:30] C
There they are! They're
the ones, Lord Satan!
SIGN Satan Festival
[19:33] Shin
Wait! Hey! Take us with you!
SIGN Santa Festival
[19:42] Ana
Today will be the coldest
day yet this winter.
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan Snack Otose
[19:46] Ana
The cold isn't going away, so
make sure you don't catch a cold.
[19:50] Ana
Christmas may be over, but
you want to stay vigilant.
[19:54] Ana
Make sure you dress warmly
when you go outside.
SIGN For my master.
[19:59] Ana
Have a wonderful day.
[20:03] Ana
Be careful!
[20:05] Both
We will!
SIGN Pandemonium in the Air
[22:01] Shin
Pandemonium-san...
[22:03] Shin
Will I ever see you again?
[22:06] Shin
Pandemonium-san...
[22:08] Shin
I would give anything to see you
one more time, Pandemonium-san...
[22:12] Kagura
Gin-chan, it looks like Shinpachi
[22:14] ---
left his soul back in the demon world.
[22:17] Gin
Once he notices the women around him
[22:20] Gin
instead of focusing on the
woman he can never have,
[22:22] Gin
he'll man up.
[22:24] Kagura
Do you mean me? That's gross.
[22:27] Gin
No, you're out of the question.
[22:28] Kagura
But it can't be that easy to find someone.
[22:33] Kagura
We're talking about Shinpachi here.
[22:34] Gin
Fine, I'll lend a hand then.
[22:37] Shin
-Pandemonium-san...
[22:37] Pan
-I wanted to see you...
[22:40] Shin
-Pandemonium-san...
[22:40] Pan
-I wanted to see you...
[22:42] Pan
I wanted to see you...
[22:44] Shin
That voice...
[22:45] Shin
P-Pandemonium-san...
[22:48] Shin
Huh?
[22:50] Shin
She looks different...
[22:51] Pan
I wanted to see you...
[22:52] Pan
I wanted to see you...
[22:54] Pan
I wanted to see you...
[22:55] Pan
Yes!
[22:56] Pan
We Pandemoniums have come to see you.
[23:00] Pan
PDN48!
[23:04] Gin
Lucky you, Sakaguchi-san.
[23:14] Kagura
Lucky you.
[23:16] Shin
Yes!
SIGN The End
SIGN Next Time
[23:20] Kagura
Hey, Gin-chan.
[23:21] Kagura
What's inside a New Year's envelope?
[23:23] Kagura
Do you know?
[23:24] Kagura
Do I get an envelope?
[23:26] Gin
Uh...
SIGN New Year's Envelopes Are Perfect for Dirty Jokes
[23:28] Gin
Next time:
[23:28] Gin
New Year's envelopes are
perfect for dirty jokes.
[23:31] Kagura
Um, that doesn't answer my question.
SIGN This episode was about Christmas, so the next one has to be about New Year's!!
SIGN After some anguish... Kagura finally receives her envelope?
E250 - New Year's Envelopes Are Perfect for Dirty Jokes
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN New Year's Envelopes Are Perfect for Dirty Jokes
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
Snack Otose
[01:50] Kagura
Gin-chan, Gin-chan.
[01:52] Kagura
Give me my New Year's envelope!
[02:03] Kagura
Give me my New Year's envelope.
[02:08] Kagura
New Year's envelope—
[02:09] Gin
Where did you pick up that nasty habit?
[02:13] Gin
A young lady shouldn't
be begging for money.
[02:18] Kagura
But everyone else was doing it.
[02:20] Kagura
They said that grown-ups
on Earth somewhere
[02:22] ---
are supposed to give us New Year's envelopes.
[02:25] Kagura
Hey, Gin-chan.
[02:26] ---
What's inside a New Year's envelope?
[02:29] Kagura
Hey, give me a New Year's envelope!
[02:34] Gin
Are you sure you want one?
[02:37] Kagura
Yup. I don't know what a New Year's
envelope is, but it's free.
[02:42] Gin
You won't regret your decision?
[02:45] Kagura
Huh?
[02:46] Gin
Are you prepared to accept
a New Year's envelope,
[02:52] ---
no matter what may happen?
[02:54] Kagura
Don't scare me.
[02:55] Kagura
It can't be that big a deal.
[02:58] Kagura
Gin-chan?
[03:03] Kagura
Gin-chan...?
[03:12] Kagura
Gin-chan!
[03:14] Kagura
Are you okay, Gin-chan?!
[03:18] Kagura
Hang in there!
[03:19] Kagura
What... What's wrong?
[03:23] Kagura
Gin-chan!
[03:31] Gin
Take these...
[03:34] Gin
Th-They were inside my
New Year's envelope.
[03:39] Kagura
Gin-chan!
[03:41] Kagura
G-Gin-chan, what are these?
[03:43] Kagura
What is a New Year's
envelope supposed to be?!
[03:49] Kagura
H-Have I taken something very,
very important from you?
[03:56] Gin
I-It's okay...
[03:57] Gin
I always knew this day would come.
[04:02] Gin
To be honest, I was always afraid.
[04:06] Gin
Afraid that you would ask
for a New Year's envelope...
[04:10] Gin
That our lives would fall apart...
[04:14] Kagura
I-I'm sorry, Gin-chan.
[04:17] Kagura
I had no idea!
[04:19] Kagura
I didn't realize New Year's
envelopes were such a big deal!
[04:22] Kagura
I don't need one then!
[04:23] Kagura
I don't need these mochi balls!
[04:28] Kagura
So, Gin-chan...
[04:30] Gin
Kagura, this is what happens when
[04:32] ---
you take a New Year's
envelope from an adult.
[04:36] Kagura
Gin-chan!
[04:38] Gin
But you said that you wanted
a New Year's envelope,
[04:44] ---
no matter what happened.
[04:47] Gin
In that case, you shouldn't look back.
[04:53] Gin
You must cross my dead body,
the dead bodies of us adults.
[04:59] Gin
Kagura...
[05:00] Gin
You must collect seven of those balls.
[05:03] Gin
Claim those bloody phantom jewels from
[05:06] ---
relatives around the world.
[05:08] Gin
If you collect seven, you'll
receive the legendary treasure
[05:13] Gin
that will grant the wish of any kid.
[05:16] Gin
The Treasure Balls.
[05:18] Gin
I know... I know you can
make your wish come true.
[05:23] Gin
For my sake...
[05:29] Kagura
Gin-chan...
[05:32] Kagura
Gin-chan!
[05:35] Kagura
In your dreams!
[05:39] Kagura
Hey, what's a Treasure Ball?
[05:42] Kagura
You came up with that gross act
[05:45] Kagura
because you didn't want to give
me a New Year's envelope?!
[05:48] Kagura
This is the year of the
dragon, not the pig!
[05:50] Gin
O-Oh, you knew I was lying?
[05:53] Gin
That's not nice of you.
[05:54] Kagura
I was playing along to soften you
up, but you took it way too far!
[05:58] Gin
But now you understand
how difficult it is
[06:00] Gin
for grown-ups to provide
New Year's envelopes.
[06:03] Kagura
I can't understand why someone
would spit out white balls
[06:06] Kagura
when someone asks for
a New Year's envelope!
[06:08] Gin
Don't blame me.
[06:09] ---
I lost all my Treasure
Balls to the other kids.
[06:13] Kagura
You mean you lost them
at a pachinko parlor!
[06:16] Gin
No wonder I'm coughing up Treasure Balls.
[06:18] Gin
I also coughed up the Treasure
Soup I had for breakfast.
[06:21] Kagura
In that case, you should
just give me everything!
[06:25] Shin
Seriously, why are you fighting
on the first day of a new year?
[06:29] Shin
Happy New Year.
[06:31] Shin
Here you are, Kagura-chan.
[06:34] Kagura
Huh? What's that?
[06:35] Shin
What? You're supposed to give people
[06:37] ---
New Year's envelopes on New Year's Day.
SIGN New Year's Envelope
Kagura-chan
[06:39] Kagura
Oh, really?!
[06:41] Kagura
You're awesome, Shinpachi!
[06:42] Shin
Nah, Sis told me to bring this to you.
[06:45] Kagura
I see! Yay!
[06:48] Shin
I didn't expect to
receive one at this age.
[06:52] Shin
Well, I guess Sis still
thinks I'm just a kid.
[06:55] Shin
But I hope I can grow up to be like her.
[06:59] Shin
An adult who has plenty
of money to give to kids.
[07:02] Kagura
That's right.
[07:03] Kagura
I don't want to grow up to be an
adult who coughs up white balls.
[07:08] Shin
Yeah, I don't want to grow up
to be an adult who hides indoors
[07:11] Shin
because he doesn't want to
give out New Year's envelopes.
[07:15] Gin
Hey! Don't think I can't hear you!
[07:18] Gin
Why don't I get a New Year's envelope?!
[07:20] Gin
That's no fair!
[07:22] Shin
That's why you're mad?!
[07:23] Shin
You need to grow up, Gin-san!
[07:26] Shin
You're supposed to be handing out
envelopes, not receiving them!
[07:29] Kagura
Can't you act like a leader for once?
[07:32] Gin
What are you talking about, fools?
[07:34] Gin
A real man never drops
the ball, or his balls.
[07:43] Shin
Here, use this.
[07:47] Gin
Huh?
[07:48] Shin
We knew you wouldn't have any money left,
[07:52] ---
so we saved some of our pay.
[07:54] Kagura
You can use it to do
something good for once.
[07:58] Shin
You need to give us a
reason to feel proud
[08:00] ---
that you're our leader.
[08:05] ---
You...
[08:06] Kagura
And you have to pay back
every penny, with interest.
[08:09] Gin
Thank you!
[08:11] Gin
Then I'll go triple the money so
I have enough to give everyone!
[08:18] Tama
Gintoki-sama?
[08:20] Tama
Happy New Year, Gintoki-sama.
[08:23] Shin
Tama-san!
[08:24] Tama
Shinpachi-sama, Kagura-sama,
happy New Year.
[08:28] Shin
Oh, happy New Year.
[08:31] Kagura
Happy New Year.
[08:32] Kagura
Oh, that's right.
[08:34] Kagura
Start by giving one to Tama, moron.
[08:37] Kagura
Don't drop the ball.
[08:38] Gin
That's not funny!
[08:39] Shin
Oh, that's right. Tama
may look like an adult,
[08:43] Shin
but she was created a short while
ago, so she should get one?
[08:47] Tama
Yes, it says on Wikipedia that
I was born on August 16th, 2007.
[08:52] Shin
What's that? Wikipedia
exists in this world?
[08:55] Tama
It most certainly does.
[08:56] Kagura
Then what does it say about the fact
[08:58] Kagura
that there are barely any
Amanto-like Amanto showing up?
[09:01] Tama
The new restrictions aren't helping,
[09:03] Tama
and it's a pain in the ass to
come up with new characters.
[09:05] Tama
That's what it says.
[09:05] Shin
It doesn't say that anywhere!
[09:07] Shin
That came straight from
the author himself!
[09:10] Kagura
Anyway, Tama is like a reverse
Conan-kun, so give her an envelope.
[09:14] Gin
No, she looks like an adult,
so she doesn't count.
[09:17] Gin
You can't reverse everything!
[09:19] Gin
Let's go look for a real kid.
[09:22] Cath
If you're looking for a kid to give a
New Year's envelope, there's one right here.
[09:26] Gin
Shut up. I don't need
a catty hag nagging...
[09:29] Cath
It's me, Tama-chan.
[09:31] Cath
Mister, give me an envelope.
[09:33] Cath
Die!
[09:38] Cath
I wanted a few more lines...
[09:42] Gin
Tsk, Shinpachi looks more like
Tama-chan when crossdressing than you do!
[09:46] Shin
That's why you snapped?!
[09:47] Shin
You're probably right though!
[09:52] Sei
Oh, it's Gin-san!
[09:54] Sei
What? Are you visiting
everyone for New Year's?
[09:56] Sei
Happy New Year!
[09:57] Gin
Don't "happy New Year" me.
[10:00] Gin
In the manga, this chapter
ran before New Year's,
[10:02] Gin
and we're airing this episode in March.
[10:05] Gin
So you're trying to turn back the
[10:07] ---
clock so you can get
a New Year's envelope.
[10:09] Sei
New Year's envelope?
[10:11] Sei
From you, Gin-san?!
[10:12] Tsu
Hinowa!
[10:13] Hino
I know!
[10:15] Hino
Close the Yoshiwara ceiling!
[10:17] All
Yes, ma'am!
[10:18] Hino
Emergency alert!
[10:19] Hino
Tell all the residents
to brace for impact!
[10:22] Hino
All hands prepare for an aerial assault!
[10:24] All
Aye, aye!
[10:25] Gin
What do you expect to come falling down?!
[10:27] Gin
Do you want me to kill you all?!
[10:29] Sei
Th-That means...
[10:31] Gin
I came all the way out here.
[10:33] Gin
Just take it.
[10:34] Sei
Y-Yay!
[10:36] Sei
Gin-san came here to give
me a New Year's envelope!
[10:39] Tsu
What happened? Are you dying?
[10:41] Tsu
Are you going to die?
[10:42] Gin
Shut up! He's the only kid I could
think of, so I had to come here!
[10:46] Hino
Isn't that wonderful, Seita?
[10:48] Sei
Yup!
[10:48] Shin
Look at how happy he is.
[10:51] Shin
See? It's not a bad idea
to be nice once in a while.
[10:53] Gin
Keep your mouth shut.
[10:54] Gin
Are you satisfied now?
[10:55] ---
Sorry.
[10:57] Hino
That's right.
[10:58] Hino
I also prepared a New Year's
gift to show my appreciation.
[11:02] Hino
Shinpa-san, Kagura-chan,
[11:04] Hino
please take these.
[11:07] Hino
Tsukuyo.
[11:11] Tsu
Take whichever one you want.
[11:15] Tsu
We discovered the golden rod and balls
[11:17] ---
in Hosen's safe the other day.
[11:19] Sei
I received this golden
piece as a New Year's gift!
[11:23] Sei
Isn't it pretty?
[11:25] Sei
Oh, what are you going to give me?
[11:27] Sei
Something golden?
[11:29] Hino
Gin-san will probably
give you a silver rod.
[11:31] Hino
Nah, probably a silver ball.
[11:34] Gin
I'll go buy some silver paint
that's safe for your skin.
[11:38] Gin
Silver soul!
[11:40] Gin
Uh, what am I supposed to do?
[11:42] Gin
What do you want me to do?
[11:44] Gin
They're looking for golden balls.
[11:45] Gin
All I got are some sagging balls.
[11:47] Shin
That doesn't mean you should
paint your balls silver.
[11:50] Kagura
Make them stop sagging.
[11:52] Gin
It doesn't work that way!
[11:54] Gin
This trade would be like highway robbery!
[11:58] Shin
It's the thought that counts.
[12:00] Gin
Then you go give them your thought!
[12:02] Kagura
Calm down. Just make them stop sagging.
[12:04] Gin
I said that it doesn't work that way!
[12:06] Sei
Uh, is something wrong, Gin-san?
[12:09] Gin
No, you see...
[12:12] Tsu
Ahem.
[12:17] Tsu
I'll let you borrow this.
[12:18] Tsu
Hand it to him.
[12:20] Both
She's helping us!
[12:22] Both
She's letting us rent a golden bar!
[12:25] Gin
I can't afford to borrow that!
[12:28] Gin
I won't be able to pay you back!
[12:30] Tsu
We're only letting you borrow
this temporarily anyway.
[12:33] Gin
I don't need it!
[12:35] Gin
You think I can hand that
over with a straight face?!
[12:37] Tsu
Stop trying to act tough!
[12:39] Gin
Keep your voice down! He'll hear you!
[12:42] Tsu
It's your fault for refusing to take it!
[12:45] Gin
You're talking out loud and
covering up your coughing!
[12:48] Shin
Hey!
[12:49] Shin
Gin-san, Tsukuyo-san!
[12:50] Shin
We can hear everything you're saying!
[12:53] Shin
Seita-kun's trying to pretend
that he didn't see anything!
[12:56] Gin
Fine.
[12:57] Gin
If you're gonna insist, I'll borrow it.
[12:59] Gin
Don't look at me.
[13:01] Gin
Where? Where is it?
[13:03] Tsu
Right here.
[13:04] Tsu
The rod is right here.
[13:05] Gin
Rod?
[13:06] Tsu
No, it's lower.
[13:10] Gin
Rod? This is more like a ball.
[13:13] Tsu
What do you think you're doing?!
[13:15] Sei
G-Gin-san!
[13:23] Gin
And there's your New Year's envelope.
[13:36] Kagura
Are you going to keep
coughing up white balls?
[13:39] Kagura
The last pair was half-digested.
[13:43] Gin
I won't be able to use that trick again.
[13:45] Shin
You never should have been
able to use that trick.
[13:47] Gin
Let's just stop.
[13:48] Gin
This isn't my thing.
[13:52] Gin
I'm not the kind of person
who hands out money.
[13:56] Gin
Let's just spend it on ourselves
and go out on the town.
[13:59] Gin
It's on me.
[14:00] Shin
Don't spend our hard-earned
money on yourself!
[14:04] Gin
But there aren't any
other kids in this show.
[14:06] Gin
All we got are a bunch of
old men who act like kids.
[14:09] Shin
Nobody ever said that you
[14:10] ---
have to give New Year's
envelopes to kids.
[14:12] Shin
You could give one to
a younger colleague.
[14:14] Gin
Colleague? I don't have any of those.
SIGN Gintoki-senpai!
[14:20] Gin
Hey, who was that?!
SIGN Oh, it's Gintoki-senpai!
[14:22] Zura
Oh, Gintoki.
[14:23] Zura
Come over here. I just
met a familiar face.
[14:28] Zura
Do you remember him?
[14:30] Zura
We fought together as Joi.
[14:34] Zura
Elisugizabe...
[14:36] Gin
When did this monster become
a colleague of mine?
SIGN That's mean, senpai. How could you forget about me? You'll destroy the world then.
[14:39] Gin
Why are you using these new signs?!
[14:43] Gin
And that won't destroy the world!
[14:44] Zura
How could you forget our comrade?
[14:48] Zura
No matter. It's New Year's, so
you should give him an envelope.
SIGN I simply destroy.
[14:52] Gin
That ain't happening!
He's so obviously a fake!
SIGN Until the beast stops howling.
[14:55] Gin
And why are you talking like Takasugi?!
[14:58] Zura
You haven't changed at all, Zabethke.
SIGN You may complain now,
SIGN but you'll give me a New Year's envelope in the end.
SIGN That's what makes you Gintoki-senpai!
[15:05] Gin
Why are you acting like
this happened before?!
[15:07] Gin
I'm not giving you anything!
[15:09] Zura
Oh, that's right.
[15:10] Zura
I have envelopes for
Shinpachi-kun and Leader.
[15:14] Zura
Take your pick.
[15:17] Kagura
Really, Zura?
SIGN Joi Patriot Training Course 10,000 yen
SIGN Joi Patriot Training Course 5,000 yen
[15:20] Zura
Tickets for 5,000 yen and 10,000
yen Joi Patriot training courses.
SIGN Become a Joi Patriot!!! 5,000 yen course
[15:25] Zura
The 5,000 yen course makes you
a Joi patriot in three days.
SIGN Become a Joi Patriot!!! 10,000 yen course
[15:28] Zura
The 10,000 yen course is the
same as the 5,000 yen course,
[15:31] Zura
but you also receive 5,000 yen!
[15:33] Both
Then you only need to offer
the 5,000 yen course!
[15:36] Kyu
Gintoki!
[15:38] Gin
Hm? It's Kyubei.
[15:41] Gin
Why are you in such a rush?
[15:43] Kyu
Yes, I've been hearing stories about you.
[15:45] Gin
About me?
[15:47] Kyu
Well, I heard you were
passing out balls today.
[15:52] Gin
That would make me a sicko!
[15:54] Gin
That's not even possible!
[15:55] Gin
It's not like I have extra balls!
[15:57] Kyu
What? Impossible!
[15:58] Shin
Uh, why would you ever
believe those stories?
[16:01] Shin
And what would you do with those balls?
[16:04] Kyu
If I also received a rod next year,
I'd be set for the operation.
[16:08] Gin
I'm not handing out anything!
[16:09] Gin
And what do rods have
to do with New Year's?!
[16:13] Gin
You're just being weird!
[16:14] Tojo
Young lady!
[16:17] Tojo
Don't do it!
[16:19] Kyu
Tojo...
[16:20] Tojo
Don't do it!
[16:21] Tojo
You must not touch his spineless balls!
[16:25] Kyu
Balls never have spines.
[16:27] Tojo
That's not what I meant!
[16:28] Kyu
What's the problem then?
[16:30] Tojo
Everything! His dirty balls are not
meant for a well-to-do lady like yourself!
[16:35] Gin
Eh? Did you say my balls are dirty?
[16:37] Gin
They're cleaner than yours!
[16:39] Gin
Squeaky clean!
[16:40] Tojo
No! Mine are absolutely cleaner!
[16:42] Tojo
Because I just visited a ****
on the first day of the year
[16:46] Tojo
and got them washed squeaky clean!
[16:47] Tojo
I can prove it!
[16:52] Gin
Hey, let's stop this.
[16:54] Gin
Obviously, nothing good happens when I
try to hand out New Year's envelopes.
[16:57] Gin
I haven't even managed
to hand one over yet.
[16:59] Shin
Th-That's not true.
[17:01] Gin
Since kids and colleagues are
out, who does that leave?
SIGN New Year's envelope please.
[17:17] Gin
Hey, let's stop this.
[17:19] Gin
Obviously, nothing good happens when I
try to hand out New Year's envelopes.
[17:22] Gin
I haven't even managed
to hand one over yet.
[17:25] Shin
Th-That's not true.
[17:27] Gin
Since kids and colleagues are
out, who does that leave?
SIGN New Year's envelope please.
[17:39] Gin
H-Hey, let's stop this.
[17:42] Gin
Obviously, nothing good happens when I
try to hand out New Year's envelopes.
[17:45] Gin
I-I haven't even managed
to hand one over yet.
SIGN New Year's envelope please.
[17:55] Gin
Hey! Let's stop this!
[17:58] Gin
Obviously, nothing good happens when I
try to hand out New Year's envelopes!
[18:01] Gin
I haven't even managed
to hand one over yet!
[18:03] Shin
That's not true!
[18:04] Gin
Since kids and colleagues are
out, who does that leave?!
[18:11] Gin
Hey, let's stop this.
[18:14] Gin
Obviously, nothing good happens...
[18:20] Madao
Happy New Year.
[18:22] Gin
Where's the happy?!
[18:23] Gin
We're stuck in this dark place now!
[18:26] Shin
We've been trapped!
[18:28] Gin
What did you do?!
[18:30] Shin
Hey! His sunglasses are
actually pure darkness!
[18:33] Shin
His eyes are completely dark now!
[18:36] Madao
A new year has come, but the
darkness hasn't left my eyes.
[18:40] Shin
His voice is ringing inside my head!
[18:44] Madao
Perfect timing, Shinpachi-kun,
Kagura-chan.
[18:47] Madao
I have New Year's envelopes for you.
[18:49] Madao
You people keep taking from me.
[18:53] Shin
No, it's okay!
[18:54] Shin
We don't need anything!
[18:54] Shin
There's nothing to take from you!
[18:57] Madao
Cardboard wing.
[18:59] Madao
Vinyl wing.
[19:03] Madao
Rip off whichever one you want.
[19:05] Shin
I can't do that!
[19:06] Shin
They're worthless, but I can't do that!
[19:09] Madao
Want to see what happens if you
rip off the cardboard wing?
[19:12] Madao
I can't wait.
[19:14] Gin
Hey, he did something funny
to the cardboard wing!
[19:16] Madao
But the vinyl wing is also...
[19:19] Gin
What's going on?!
[19:21] Gin
Let's give him money and get out of here!
[19:23] Gin
Why are we even here?!
[19:24] Gin
I'm getting sick of
this, so can we go home?
[19:26] Sa
No.
[19:28] Sa
You're not doing it right.
[19:31] Sa
Come over here.
[19:34] Sa
Hey, did you know?
[19:36] Sa
New Year's envelopes aren't
only meant for kids.
[19:40] Sa
Welcome to the adult New Year's envelope.
[19:45] Sa
I'll be the envelope for your rod.
[19:49] Sa
My envelope is open for you.
[19:52] Gin
I'll stick this ball
in your envelope then.
[19:58] Gin
Sorry about this.
[20:01] Gin
You were trying to help,
[20:03] ---
but I couldn't give an
envelope to a single person.
[20:06] Gin
I guess it's harder when
the money isn't my own.
[20:10] Gin
I'll give this back to you.
[20:13] Gin
And these, too.
[20:17] Kagura
Gin-chan, what are these?
[20:20] Gin
It wasn't easy.
[20:21] Gin
I spend my money so fast
SIGN For Shinpachi
[20:25] Gin
that I forgot where I hid my own money.
SIGN For Kagura
[20:33] Gin
It was in my shoe.
[20:36] Kagura
I see. That's why it stinks.
[20:48] Shin
Well, now that we have money...
[20:50] Kagura
Let's go party.
[20:53] Gin
Hey, you were complaining
about how I spend money,
[20:56] Gin
and now you're doing the same?
[20:58] Shin
That's because you share
your soul with us everyday.
[21:04] Shin
Money isn't meant to be held overnight.
[21:06] Kagura
Right on!
[21:08] Gin
What are you idiots talking about?
SIGN A massage from Gin-san (one time use).
SIGN A glasses-wiping by Gin-san (one time use).
SIGN Next Time
[23:23] Shin
Hey! Why are you two just lying around?!
[23:26] Kagura
What? I can't brush my teeth after
I'm already under a kotatsu.
SIGN When Sleeping Under a Kotatsu, Make Sure You Don't Burn Your Balls
[23:31] Gin
Man, I'm too lazy to
read the episode title.
[23:33] Shin
Hey!
SIGN The kotatsu is an enticing trap. Once you're inside, you're paralyzed.
SIGN We'll just be lying around next week. And don't say that we do that every week.
E251 - When Sleeping Under a Kotatsu, Make Sure You Don't Burn Your Balls
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Spring is here.
[00:02] Gin
Happy New Year!
[00:07] Shin
To all the people who helped us last year
[00:10] Shin
and all the viewers who watched this show.
[00:17] Shin
Yeah, if you wanted to sneak in a New Year greeting
[00:20] ---
at the beginning of an episode,
[00:22] Shin
you should have done it last week
[00:24] Shin
since the last episode was about New Year's envelopes.
[00:34] Shin
Hey!
[00:35] Shin
I can understand if you're too lazy to respond,
[00:37] Shin
but that doesn't make it okay to fart!
[00:38] Shin
That's plain rude!
[00:44] Shin
Hey!
SIGN Kotatsu
[02:21] Gin
Do you think it's possible that humans evolved from kotatsu?
[02:24] Shin
What are you talking about?
[02:26] Gin
Humans are drawn to kotatsu by DNA.
[02:30] Gin
Isn't there a mythical creature that looks like this?
[02:33] Gin
Maybe humans and kotatsu used to be one and the same.
[02:36] Shin
I've never seen anything like that before.
[02:37] Gin
And then evolution gave us what is now
[02:42] Gin
humankind.
[02:43] Shin
That's a pretty biased example to use for humankind.
[02:45] Kagura
So we're trying to reunite with the kotatsu!
[02:50] Sa
You've finally realized the truth!
[02:52] Sa
It's time to unite with me, Gin-san!
[02:55] Shin
I have a feeling this was devolution.
SIGN The End
SIGN Shinsengumi Station
SIGN New Year Greetings
[04:02] Yama
Gantan.
[04:07] Yama
Gantan?
[04:12] Yama
Gantan.
[04:16] Yama
Ganpan.
[04:20] Yama
Antan.
[04:22] Yama
Anpan!
[04:24] Yama
Anpan!
SIGN The End
SIGN Recycling Center Earth Defense Base
[04:38] Gin
Hey.
[04:40] Gin
Excuse me, can you buy this off me?
[04:42] A
Cut it out already.
[04:45] A
This isn't a dump.
[04:47] Gin
I'm not sure what's wrong, but the thermostat isn't working.
[04:51] Sa
You have to be stronger!
[04:53] Gin
I can't switch it off the strong setting.
[04:55] A
I thought the last segment ended!
[04:58] Gin
Can I trade this for something kotatsu-like?
[05:00] A
We don't deal in human trade.
[05:05] Gin
Huh?
[05:06] Gin
Hey, you've got a nice one here.
[05:09] A
Wait, that's...
SIGN When Sleeping Under a Kotatsu, Make Sure You Don't Burn Your Balls
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan Snack Otose
[05:21] Shin
Good morning!
[05:26] Shin
Huh?
[05:30] Shin
Again?
[05:31] Shin
They're so hopeless.
[05:33] Shin
Hey!
[05:35] Shin
You're going to catch a cold if you sleep under the kotatsu!
[05:38] Shin
Cut that out! It's a disgrace!
[05:41] Shin
You too, Sadaharu!
[05:44] Shin
It's the first episode of the new year, and you're just sitting around.
[05:47] Shin
Everything is within reach of the kotatsu.
[05:50] Shin
How lazy can you be?
[05:54] Gin
Shut up.
[05:56] Gin
I'm staying here because it's cold.
[06:00] Gin
What's wrong with being lazy on New Year's, stupid?
[06:03] Shin
You're lazy every single day of the year!
[06:06] Kagura
Pachi-boy, I decided to
[06:12] Kagura
marry the kotatsu.
[06:14] Kagura
I can't live without it.
[06:17] Otsu
Everyone, Happy New Year!
[06:18] Shin
The kotatsu doesn't want a bride who never moves.
[06:25] Otsu
Thank you for coming to my concert on such a busy day to show your supportapoop!
[06:28] Shin
Could you get out of there?
[06:30] Shin
The fridge is empty because we haven't gone shopping recently.
[06:34] Shin
We don't have food for lunch.
[06:36] Kagura
What? We don't need to go shopping.
[06:39] Kagura
I've got lunch right here.
[06:41] Kagura
Piping hot meat buns.
[06:44] Shin
Uh, that's disgusting!
[06:46] Shin
You're not supposed to use a kotatsu that way!
[06:47] Kagura
Fine, you don't get any then.
[06:49] Kagura
Gin-chan, where's the mustard?
[06:56] Gin
We have some,
SIGN Mustard
[06:59] Gin
but it's beyond the horizon.
[07:01] Kagura
Then I'll use the toothpaste.
[07:04] Shin
Enough already!
[07:05] Shin
Why do you have to be so lazy on the first episode of the year?!
[07:08] Shin
I understand the desire to be comfortable, but you're too comfortable!
[07:10] Shin
You've been like this ever since we got the new kotatsu!
[07:13] Shin
What if the little kids follow your example?!
[07:15] Shin
Can you pull it together?!
[07:19] Shin
Where's the plug?
[07:21] Gin
There isn't one.
[07:23] Shin
Don't lie to me!
[07:25] ---
Where is it?! Where did you hide it?!
[07:27] Gin
I said that there isn't one.
[07:31] Shin
Don't play dumb!
[07:33] Shin
If there isn't a plug, how do you turn it on?!
[07:36] Gin
There's no need to turn it off.
[07:40] Gin
Because
[07:42] ---
we're never leaving...
[07:48] Shin
S-Space...
[08:00] Shin
No, this is...
[08:03] Shin
This is a black hole!
[08:10] Otsu
That was "Your Brother is a ****"!
[08:16] Otsu
Thank you for listeningapoop!
[08:20] All
Thank you!
[08:24] Otsu
Does everyone love me?
[08:28] All
We love you!
[08:30] Otsu
Does everyone love me?
[08:34] All
We love you!
[08:37] Otsu
But the mothers in the PTA don't like this song very much.
[08:55] Gin
What are you doing, Pachi-boy?
[08:57] Gin
Cut down the racket.
[08:58] Shin
Wait!
[08:59] Shin
H-Hold on!
[09:02] Shin
Wh-What is this?!
[09:04] Shin
What's up with this kotatsu?!
[09:05] Shin
How is there a black hole under the kotatsu?!
[09:09] Gin
What are you talking about?
[09:11] ---
That's how every kotatsu works.
[09:13] Gin
Once you get under one, you can never leave.
[09:15] Gin
A square black hole that sucks
[09:17] ---
motivation from humans and grants pure ecstasy.
[09:20] Gin
That's what a kotatsu is.
[09:21] Shin
I've never heard that scary explanation before!
[09:24] Shin
That's not what I mean!
[09:26] Shin
There's something down there!
[09:27] Shin
I'm literally stuck now!
[09:29] Shin
Where did you find this thing, Gin-san?!
SIGN Anti-Evil Ward
[09:32] Gin
They needed to find a way to dispose of it, so they gave it to me for free.
[09:35] Gin
I really like the design.
[09:36] Gin
Isn't it nice?
[09:37] Shin
The design?
[09:38] Shin
There are a bunch of creepy wards everywhere!
[09:43] Shin
What was it she said?
[09:44] Shin
The previous owner used this kotatsu to seal King Something-lo.
[09:49] Shin
It sounded scary, so I just ignored her and brought the kotatsu home.
[09:51] Shin
Uh, you heard the scary part!
[09:54] Shin
You only left out the "Picco"!
[09:56] Shin
King Piccolo's in there!
[09:58] Gin
Don't worry, it's not King Piccolo.
[10:01] Gin
I think it was King Diablo.
[10:04] Shin
That's even scarier!
[10:06] ---
And you're missing the point!
[10:09] Shin
So what does this mean?!
[10:10] Shin
Have we been sealed inside this kotatsu?!
[10:13] Shin
It's not that you don't want to get out, you can't!
[10:16] Shin
What are we going to do?!
[10:17] Shin
We're supposed to spend
[10:18] ---
the first episode of the year sitting under a kotatsu?!
[10:22] Kagura
Not just the first episode.
[10:24] ---
We'll be spending the entire year here.
[10:26] Shin
That can't last!
[10:29] Gin
What's wrong with being lazy for a bit?
[10:32] Gin
Pachi-boy, this is our sixth year.
[10:36] Gin
We may be following the Sazae-san tradition of never aging,
[10:39] Gin
but I'm almost 40 mentally.
[10:42] Gin
Mentally, I'm almost bald.
[10:45] Shin
Mentally?! You're physically bald!
[10:49] Gin
I'm tired of working this combover every week.
[10:53] Gin
Can't I just not worry about my hair for once?
[10:57] Kagura
Yeah, after six years, I've learned how to talk straight.
[11:01] Kagura
I'm tired of sounding stupid.
[11:05] Shin
That's crazy talk!
[11:07] Kagura
I'm tired of living a lie!
[11:11] Shin
Why are you bald?!
[11:13] Shin
Wh-What are you people doing?!
[11:15] Shin
You're supposed to be the main character and heroine in a Jump anime!
[11:19] Gin
Shut up. Don't be such a nag.
[11:22] Kagura
We took a whole year off so there
[11:24] ---
would be enough manga to resume the anime,
[11:26] Kagura
but now we're slacking again.
[11:28] Gin
When an episode in March
[11:31] Gin
is based on a chapter from the first issue of Jump that year,
[11:33] Gin
it's clear that there's a timing issue.
[11:35] Gin
We had two months to produce this episode?
[11:37] Shin
Hey!
[11:38] Shin
Stop it!
[11:39] Shin
That's a really delicate issue right now!
[11:41] Shin
You're not supposed to open that door right now!
[11:43] Kagura
They didn't plan ahead properly.
[11:46] Kagura
Any kid could tell you that a
[11:48] ---
chapter won't give you an entire episode.
[11:50] Kagura
The problem is when you have people
[11:53] ---
who don't plan ahead planning anime.
[11:58] Gin
Yeah, I'm getting sick of everything!
[12:01] Shin
Th-This is bad.
[12:03] Shin
They're losing all their motivation to the evil kotatsu!
[12:07] Shin
I need to get out of here before I go bald!
[12:10] Shin
Forget the animation quality, this anime is in trouble.
[12:13] Shin
I need to call for help!
[12:17] Shin
Somebody's here!
[12:18] Shin
Excuse me! Help us!
[12:20] Shin
We can't move!
[12:22] Shin
Please come in!
[12:24] Zura
What's that? Is something wrong, Shinpachi-kun?
[12:27] Shin
Katsura-san!
[12:29] Zura
This is pathetic!
[12:31] Zura
Gintoki, a warrior should not be living in squalor!
[12:34] Zura
You should be ashamed!
[12:36] Shin
Katsura-san, please listen to me!
[12:38] Zura
Silence! You can make excuses later!
[12:40] Shin
You've got it wrong!
[12:42] Shin
Listen to me first! Katsura-san, this is...
[12:45] Zura
It's not Katsura. It's Zura.
[12:49] Zura
Brr, I'm freezing.
[12:52] Shin
He went bald instantly!
[12:54] Shin
Hey! I told you to listen to me!
[12:57] Shin
Why are you immediately getting under the kotatsu?!
[12:59] Shin
And what's with that gross forehead?!
[13:02] Zura
Well, it's so cold outside.
[13:04] Zura
Too cold to be engaging in Joi activities.
[13:07] Zura
Though it's not just winter, since my body's starting to give out on me.
[13:13] Zura
My back hurts, my insurance doesn't cover anything,
[13:16] Zura
and I got weird monsters pestering me.
[13:18] ---
A trifecta of suck.
[13:20] Shin
Who is this old man?!
[13:21] Zura
Honestly, I envy you, Gintoki.
[13:24] Zura
I'm starting to think that I should have gotten a normal job.
[13:28] Gin
No, it's the same for everyone now,
[13:30] Gin
given the economy.
[13:32] Shin
Hey!
[13:33] Shin
When did this turn into a reunion for old geezers?!
[13:35] Zura
Sakamoto's the only one of us who's doing well.
[13:38] Zura
Takasugi went off his rocker.
[13:40] Zura
Though his family was always rich.
[13:46] Zura
So we work our entire lives and we're still worse off than those rich people.
[13:50] Gin
Pretty much.
[13:52] Gin
So we should go back to our kotatsu and rethink life.
[13:57] Shin
How do you go back to your kotatsu?
[13:58] Shin
Shouldn't you be going back to your hometown instead?
[14:01] Zura
But aren't you going to settle things with Takasugi?
[14:03] Gin
Takasugi? Who are you talking about?
[14:06] Gin
I've forgotten who he is since he never shows up.
[14:09] Gin
I'll just write some bad stuff about him on an online forum
[14:11] ---
and that'll be the end of that.
[14:13] Shin
How does that settle anything?!
[14:15] Zura
Yeah, if we bring him in, we'll have to
[14:17] ---
go through the trouble of a Joi past arc.
[14:19] Zura
Do you have anything in mind?
[14:21] Gin
Hell no.
[14:23] Gin
What about you?
[14:24] Zura
What actually happened in our past?
[14:27] Gin
No kidding.
[14:27] Shin
Shut up! Just shut up!
[14:30] Shin
You're not supposed to say that stuff!
[14:32] Shin
It's over!
[14:32] Shin
This anime is falling apart!
[14:35] Shin
Someone save us!
[14:36] Otae
Oh, why are you making such a racket, Shin-chan?
[14:39] Kyu
Did something happen?
[14:40] Shin
Sis! Kyubei-san!
[14:42] Otae
Oh, everyone's together for a New Year's party!
[14:45] Shin
What?! It's balding hell in here!
[14:48] Shin
Sis, stay away!
[14:51] Shin
If you get under the kotatsu, you'll never be able to leave!
[14:53] Shin
It'll take away all your motivation
[14:54] ---
and turn you into a shell of a heroine!
[14:58] Otae
You should have told me sooner!
[15:01] Shin
Huh? Who is that?
[15:02] Shin
Where did that old man come from?
[15:04] Otae
I'm sick of this.
[15:05] Otae
Why do I only get brief appearances?
[15:08] Otae
What do you take me for?!
[15:10] Shin
Sis?!
[15:12] Shin
You've already mastered that style?!
[15:13] Shin
You're more like an old man than a real old man!
[15:15] Shin
And why won't any of you listen to me?!
[15:17] Kyu
T-Tae-chan!
[15:19] Shin
Kyubei-san! You're the only one who can help us!
[15:20] Shin
Please do something!
[15:24] Kyu
Man and woman. We can finally be together
[15:27] Shin
How?! You're both old men now!
[15:32] Kyu
I screwed up!
[15:35] Otae
Now, now.
[15:37] Otae
Forget about men and women and just relax.
[15:40] Shin
You're nothing more than an old man now!
[15:43] Kyu
But strangely enough, I feel satisfied
[15:46] Kyu
A kotatsu is a mysterious thing.
[15:48] Kyu
If I can be under the same kotatsu as Tae-chan,
[15:51] Kyu
it doesn't matter if I'm a man or a woman.
[15:55] Shin
I just said that you're an old man!
[15:57] Otae
I don't think I care about reviving the dojo anymore.
[16:01] Shin
The kotatsu has nothing to do with our dojo!
[16:04] Otae
Honestly, I'd given up around the third year of the anime.
[16:09] Otae
On the dojo and on my brother.
[16:11] Shin
Why do you look so happy as you slander me?!
[16:14] Kagura
Yeah, it's not easy to be unmarried with a kid at that age.
[16:19] Shin
I'm not her kid!
[16:20] Kagura
He said he would help you revive the dojo,
[16:23] Kagura
but he just stands around while his sister works at a cabaret club.
[16:27] Shin
Could you stop badmouthing me?
[16:29] Gin
I've heard that he spends his time fooling
[16:32] ---
around at some kind of odd job.
[16:34] Gin
He's like a cancer.
[16:36] Shin
Aren't you my boss?!
[16:39] Gin
Why would you want to learn about samurai?
[16:41] Gin
That's so general.
[16:43] Gin
It's like a person who says he wants to be a musician
[16:45] Gin
and performs on the street instead of auditioning.
[16:48] Shin
What's wrong with performing on the street?!
[16:50] ---
I'm gonna kill you!
[16:51] Kagura
You'd be better off just sitting under a kotatsu.
[16:56] Otae
That's right. Just kick back and relax.
[16:59] Shin
It's no use! The situation's only getting worse!
[17:03] Shin
Isn't there a savior out there to help?!
[17:05] Kondo
Shinpachi-kun, you don't need to worry.
[17:08] Kondo
You aren't the only ones relaxing.
[17:11] Shin
You were down there?!
[17:13] Shin
You two can't help! You need help!
[17:16] Shin
These are the characters who are always failing!
[17:20] Sa
I'm getting tired of being a stalker.
[17:23] Kondo
It's time for us to graduate.
[17:26] Shin
Did you forget that you just popped out from under the kotatsu?!
[17:29] Sa
I've worked so hard to win his love.
[17:35] Sa
I did everything humanly possible.
[17:38] Sa
But I've finally noticed that there's
[17:40] ---
been someone else waiting for me.
[17:44] Shin
Nobody's waiting for you.
[17:47] Sa
Once I realized that, I lost interest.
[17:51] Kondo
Yeah, I know what you mean.
[17:53] Kondo
Then the tables are turned.
[17:56] Kondo
We've always been on the pursuing side.
[17:59] Kondo
It feels weird to be pursued.
[18:01] Shin
Nobody's after you!
[18:03] Shin
And why are two bald people engaging in girl talk?
[18:07] Zura
I see, so we're tired of pursuing and being pursued.
[18:12] Zura
Yes, I learned that lesson the hard way.
[18:16] Zura
When I close my eyes, I can remember
[18:18] ---
the days spent in pursuit and being pursued.
[18:20] Shin
Uh, Katsura-san, you've only ever been pursued!
[18:23] Shin
You've always got the cops on your tail!
[18:25] Zura
Then let's forget everything and relax.
[18:29] Shin
Why are you acting like you're not a criminal?!
[18:40] Kondo
That's right. We are no longer Shinsengumi and Joi.
[18:44] Kondo
Starting today,
[18:48] Both
we're lazy bums.
[18:50] Shin
That's not touching at all!
[18:52] Shin
You're both just failing at life!
[18:54] Madao
Oh, everyone's here.
[18:58] Gin
Hey, you're late, Hasegawa-san.
[19:00] Madao
Sorry, sorry.
[19:02] Shin
Why are you bald before you even got under the kotatsu?!
[19:05] Shin
You didn't have any motivation to begin with!
[19:06] Shin
And what do you mean he's late?
[19:07] Shin
Is there some way for lazy people to communicate with each other?!
[19:10] Gin
Okay, now that everyone's here, let's relax.
[19:19] Shin
What the hell is this?!
[19:21] Shin
Why do you have to act like this in the first episode of the new year?!
[19:38] Shin
This is an anime.
[19:44] Shin
You're supposed to move.
[19:47] Shin
I'll kill you.
[19:54] Kagura
Oh, sorry.
[19:58] Gin
Uh, you're breathing on me.
[20:00] Sa
Sadaharu-kun, could you move over a little?
[20:07] Kondo
Wait, there's no room over here.
[20:09] Sa
Oh, sorry.
[20:31] All
We can't relax.
[20:33] Shin
No shit!
[20:35] Gin
Leave!
[20:35] Gin
You're taking up all the space so I can't even turn over!
[20:39] Gin
I bought this kotatsu so I could relax!
[20:42] Gin
Why are you people trying to relax in someone else's home?!
[20:45] Madao
You always get to relax!
[20:48] Madao
Why don't you leave?!
[20:49] Sa
Excuse me! This is Gin-san's home!
[20:51] Sa
Outsiders should scram!
[20:53] Kagura
You're also an outsider!
[20:55] Kondo
How about we get rid of this dog first?!
[20:58] Otae
We should kick the gorilla out first!
[21:00] Gin
Stop whining, freaks! None of you paid for this!
[21:03] Zura
You didn't pay anything either!
[21:05] Kyu
I can't even get out of here!
[21:06] Kyu
What's wrong with this kotatsu?!
[21:07] Zura
Oh! Stop pushing!
[21:12] Gin
Outta the way! I wanna relax!
[21:41] Gin
Huh?
[21:42] Gin
What were we doing?
[21:47] Gin
Hey, Shinpa—
[21:51] Shin
I'm too lazy to say anything.
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan Snack Otose
[21:55] All
Sorry.
SIGN Next Time Untitled
E252 - We're Sorry
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Odd Jobs Gin-chan
[00:01] Kagura
Man, the year's already over, huh?
[00:04] Gin
That was fast.
[00:05] Gin
Really sucks, doesn't it?
[00:07] Gin
The years pass faster as we get older.
[00:12] Gin
At this rate, will the years
be passing at Formula 1 speeds
[00:17] ---
when I'm an old geezer?
[00:19] Kagura
I've still got a long ways to go.
[00:23] Gin
Well, I'm already up to Ben
Johnson speed, I'd say.
[00:29] Gin
Cause my johnson can't keep up.
[00:32] Gin
Don't get too cocky because
you're all still young.
[00:34] Gin
Your johnson will fall
behind soon enough.
[00:36] Kagura
For real?
[00:37] Kagura
Johnson?
[00:39] Kagura
I prefer Lewis over Johnson.
[00:41] Kagura
He's cooler.
[00:42] Gin
Whatever.
[00:44] Gin
Didn't we have a good time this year?
[00:50] Shin
Hell no!
[00:52] Shin
This is the worst time to be reusing
this segment for the fifth time!
[00:58] Gin
You have a point.
[02:41] Gin
Good evening.
[02:42] Gin
I'm Gintoki Sakata.
[02:44] Shin
I'm Shinpachi Shimura.
[02:47] Kagura
I'm Kagura.
[02:49] Shin
I'm sure some of you are already aware
[02:52] Shin
that this will be the final
episode of the Gintama anime.
[02:57] Kagura
It's been six years since
the show first began.
[03:00] Kagura
After numerous accidents,
complaints, fake endings,
[03:04] Kagura
plenty of toilet humor, and censorship...
[03:06] Gin
After surviving multiple
fatal blunders, this show is
[03:10] ---
finally coming to an end.
[03:12] Kagura
So we did some brainstorming...
[03:15] Shin
...to decide how we should end this show!
[03:19] Gin
Here is our answer!
SIGN We're Sorry
[03:28] Shin
So, like the episode title says,
[03:30] Shin
we will be using this episode
[03:33] Shin
as an opportunity to apologize
[03:37] Shin
to everyone this show may have offended.
[03:40] Gin
Such as Capcom, who laughed it off;
[03:43] Gin
Mr. Miyazaki, who didn't even notice;
[03:45] Gin
and ex-producer Azuma who
moved onto a stress free role.
[03:48] Kagura
There were also many other
staff who were affected.
[03:52] Kagura
Such as Sket Dance, which
pulled some weird stuff
[03:55] Kagura
and -san.
SIGN We're sorry. Sob...
[03:57] Gin
And most importantly, our viewers.
[03:59] All*
We're very sorry!
[04:04] Gin
Well, Shinpachi.
[04:06] Gin
Time to commit seppuku.
[04:08] Gin
You're dressed in white
so you're ready to die.
[04:10] Shin
Why only me?!
[04:11] Shin
We're all dressed in white!
[04:13] Kagura
What's wrong?
[04:14] Kagura
It's time for you to take responsibility
[04:16] Kagura
for turning the eighth
episode of the second series
[04:18] Kagura
into a weak recap episode!
[04:20] Shin
How is that my fault?!
[04:22] Gin
People want to see major characters
die in the last episode.
[04:25] Gin
It's standard practice.
[04:27] Gin
You need to die to make
this show legendary.
[04:29] Shin
Are you telling me to
throw my life away?!
[04:30] Shin
And there wouldn't be
any drama if I died now!
[04:32] ---
I would die for nothing!
[04:33] Kagura
Don't worry. If it doesn't work,
[04:34] ---
we'll bring you back to life
like those other shows did.
[04:37] Shin
We just started apologizing and
we're already offending more people!
[04:41] Kagura
Oh, that's right.
[04:42] Kagura
There's something we
forgot to apologize for.
[04:44] Kagura
Well, I'm sure everybody's
figured it out,
[04:49] Kagura
but we won't be showing the story
that was in last week's preview.
[04:51] Kagura
We wanted to, but there wasn't any time.
[04:54] Kagura
I guess we got your hopes up for nothing.
[04:56] All
We're sorry!
[04:59] Shin
You did it on purpose!
[05:01] Both
Shut up!
[05:03] Kagura
Stupid!
[05:04] Kagura
You actually thought the staff members
could handle two long arcs in a row?!
[05:08] Kagura
Don't overestimate them!
[05:08] Gin
Yeah! And we already
apologized last week!
[05:12] Shin
When did you do that?!
[05:13] Gin
Are you blind?
[05:15] Gin
Look at his lips move.
SIGN We're sorry.
[05:20] Shin
Who would get that?!
[05:21] Shin
That's just plain evil!
[05:23] Shin
And you guys aren't even
sincere about apologizing!
[05:25] ---
That's not true.
[05:27] Okita
Don't get too worked up.
[05:29] Okita
We'll take over from here.
[05:32] Shin
The Shinsengumi members!
[05:33] Okita
If you need some apologizing
done, we got Hijikata,
[05:37] ---
the master of cleaning up messes.
[05:39] Toshi
Hold on.
[05:40] Toshi
Why do I have to clean up their mess?
[05:43] Toshi
Hey, Yamazaki. Since
you're dressed in white,
[05:45] Toshi
you might as well disembowel yourself.
[05:46] Toshi
Or else I'll kill you.
[05:47] Yama
Huh?! Why me?!
[05:49] Yama
And all I did this time around was
say anpan over and over again!
[05:51] Yama
I didn't do anything to offend anyone!
[05:53] Okita
Hijikata-san, in that case, I also...
[05:57] Okita
I'll jam it right up your .
[05:59] Okita*
...did nothing to offend anyone.
[06:02] Toshi
That's bullshit! You've offended
everyone under the sun!
[06:06] Kondo
It's the last episode,
so stop fighting, boys!
[06:09] Toshi
Kondo-san...
[06:10] Kondo
I'll apologize for the Shinsengumi.
[06:13] Kondo
I'll lay myself bare and apologize
for all the trouble we've caused.
[06:20] Kondo
We're sorry.
[06:21] Toshi
You're literally bare now!
[06:23] Toshi
You were planning on doing
this from the start!
[06:25] Gin
Hey, gorilla.
[06:27] Gin
Considering everything you've done,
an ordinary apology won't cut it!
[06:31] Toshi
What's ordinary about
stripping buck naked?!
[06:33] Gin
For the last episode, you have to
reveal more than before and apologize!
[06:36] Kondo
What's left to reveal?
[06:38] Gin
Your ass hair.
[06:39] Kondo
What?!
[06:40] Okita
You're very perceptive, big guy.
[06:43] Gin
Okay, let's shave it all off!
[06:45] Kondo
S-Stop it!
[06:46] Okita
And you need to humiliate
yourself when you apologize.
[06:48] Okita
Prostrating yourself isn't enough.
[06:49] Kondo
You must be joking!
[06:50] Yama
Chief, can I stick anpan here?
[06:54] Kondo
And so, I would like to
lay myself completely bare
[07:00] Kondo
and apologize for everything
we may have done.
[07:04] Kondo
We're sorry!
[07:06] Gin
One more time!
[07:07] Kondo
We're sorry!
[07:09] Okita
One more time.
[07:10] Kondo
We're sorry!
[07:10] Gin
One more time!
[07:11] Kondo
We're sorry! We're sorry!
[07:12] Okita
One more time.
[07:13] Toshi
Cut it out!
[07:18] Toshi
I'm really sorry about this!
SIGN Apologize to the camera!!
[07:25] Sa
I've been hiding here for six years
[07:27] Sa
while watching Gin-san *** and !
[07:31] Sa*
I'm sorry for being such
a naughty girl, Bolshoi!
[07:34] Tsu
I'm sorry for being a naughty girl
[07:36] Tsu
who gets drunk in the middle of
the day and embarrasses herself.
[07:39] Tsu
Just kidding, stupid!
[07:43] Tsu
I need booze to get me
through this final episode!
[07:46] Tojo
I'm sorry for being a naughty boy
who needs kinky play to get it up!
[07:52] A
Wait up!
[07:53] B
Pay up!
[07:55] Madao
I-I'm sorry!
SIGN Gintama
Confessional
[08:03] Hata
Come in, sinful lambs. Make it quick.
[08:09] Hata
You failed to properly apologize
at the beginning of the show.
[08:13] Hata
Now repent.
[08:15] Kagura
I'll go first.
[08:16] Kagura
Dear Lord, I'm supposed
to be the cute heroine,
[08:21] Kagura
but I'm always throwing up.
[08:26] Kagura
I'm sorry...
[08:27] Shin
She threw up before God!
[08:31] Kagura
The memories made me throw up.
[08:32] Kagura
Well, God can see everything inside me,
[08:35] Kagura
so I spilled everything.
[08:36] Shin
Uh, you're not supposed to
actually spill your guts.
[08:38] Hata
Are you done repenting?
[08:40] Hata
It smells bad, so let's stop.
[08:43] Gin
No, we haven't been throwing up for
years without learning anything.
[08:48] Gin
There is a way to counter barf.
[08:50] Hata
Really? But it's the last episode.
[08:53] Gin
Shut up!
[08:54] Gin
Behold the results of our attempts
to continuously improve!
[08:56] Gin
Kagura, it's not your
fault for throwing up.
[08:59] Gin
It's a bodily process.
[09:01] Gin
Like when you suddenly get hard in class.
[09:02] Gin
So the key is what you
do after you get hard.
[09:04] Kagura
So after I throw up, I
should use weird light
[09:07] ---
to cover it up like those other shows do?
[09:09] Shin
Uh, what is this image?!
[09:11] Shin
It's disgusting!
[09:12] Shin
And why are you covering
Hedoro-san's chest?!
[09:14] Shin
That's not needed!
[09:15] Gin
Hide. That's certainly an option.
[09:17] Gin
But when it comes to barf...
[09:21] Kagura
Oh, sound effects!
[09:22] Kagura
You can use sound effects to cover it up!
[09:24] Kagura
I'll give it a try!
[09:29] Shin
Shit, watching them throw
up makes me want to...
[09:51] Hata
Cut it out! You're standing before God!
[09:54] Gin
Wait, you still want us to repent?
[09:57] Hata
You bet!
[09:58] Hata
Look!
[09:59] Hata
This geezer's sick of
standing in the same pose!
[10:02] Hata
He's gonna die! Hurry up!
[10:06] Kagura
We've been throwing up the entire show.
[10:08] All
We're sorry!
[10:11] Hata
Now pray.
SIGN Apologize to the camera!!
[10:30] Otae
Nobody cares that I want to
restore our father's dojo now.
[10:35] Otae
I'm sorry for ever mentioning it.
[10:39] Tojo
I'm sorry for climaxing-ray!
[10:44] Kyu
I'm sorry for sending a
person to the afterlife.
[10:52] Madao
I-I'm sorry...
[10:55] Zura
I present the Joi Apology Seminar for
the shy person who doesn't know how to apologize!
SIGN Applause Cheers!!
[11:01] Shin
What is this?
[11:02] Zura
As a refined warrior, I believe
I should teach everyone
[11:06] ---
the proper way to apologize.
[11:09] Shin
I see. That'll really help!
[11:11] Zura
First, I'll teach you how to
make stubborn men apologize.
[11:18] Shin
Oh, it's Smile.
[11:19] Shin
Are you saying that they
should use alcohol?
[11:21] Otae
Welcome.
[11:23] Otae
You look so young.
[11:24] Otae
How old are you?
[11:26] Zura
Let's say that I'm in my late twenties.
[11:29] Zura
You should never answer,
"How old do I look?"
[11:33] Zura
That's the reply most customers will use,
[11:34] ---
so the escorts are sick of hearing it.
[11:37] Shin
Uh, did we need that explanation?
[11:39] Shin
This is turning into a
hostess club seminar.
[11:41] Otae
Oh, forgive me.
[11:43] Otae
I forgot to introduce myself.
[11:44] ---
My name is Tae.
[11:46] Zura
O-Oh.
[11:48] Zura
It's bad manners to ask
for her e-mail address or
[11:50] ---
phone number at this point.
[11:51] Zura
Wait until she's about to leave.
[11:53] Shin
We don't need that information!
[11:55] Shin
And my sister already apologized first!
[11:59] Otae
Oh, no!
[12:00] Otae
Did I get your clothes wet? Are you okay?
[12:02] Shin
Oh, here we go.
[12:03] Shin
You finally get a chance to apologize.
[12:05] Zura
No.
[12:06] Shin
Huh?
[12:07] Zura
Hey!
[12:09] Zura
These glasses are hard to hold.
[12:11] A
I'm very sorry!
[12:12] Shin
Huh? You aren't going to apologize?
[12:14] Shin
And you're a pretty nasty customer.
[12:16] Otae
Sorry, I'll make you a new
one, so please wait...
[12:21] Otae
Excuse me, would you like a smoke?
[12:24] Zura
Sorry, I don't smoke.
[12:26] Shin
That wasn't an apology!
[12:28] Shin
And it didn't even make sense!
[12:34] Zura
I-I'm sorry...
SIGN That made sense!
[12:37] Shin
That's the punch line?!
SIGN Apologize to the camera!!
[12:41] Saka
I was too late for Ryomaden and Jin,
[12:43] Saka
but at least I didn't miss
the Year of the Dragon!
[12:45] Saka
And wait, Zuraki-san!
[12:46] Saka
How could you go to Smile without me?!
[12:48] Saka
I'm sorry Oryo-chan.
[12:50] Saka
I promise to visit this year!
[12:54] Kamui
What? Apologize?
[12:56] Kamui
Are you talking to me?
[12:57] Kamui
I who only appeared in one episode
in the second series?
[13:02] Kamui
I'll kill you.
[13:04] Otose
Don't be sad because
it's the last episode!
[13:06] Cath
You still have We are Old TamaCure!
[13:10] ---
Empty Smile Ultra Peace!
SIGN Apologize to the camera!!
[13:14] Tama
I'm sorry for offending so many
people in a matter of seconds.
[13:24] Madao
I'm sorry.
[13:28] Mata
This is great, Shinsuke-sama!
[13:30] Mata
We made it in time!
[13:32] Bansai
It seems that they want us to apologize.
[13:35] Takechi
I believe we should do
as they want this time.
[13:45] Mata
Well, I understand how you feel!
[13:48] Mata
I understand how you feel, but we
barely get any screen time as it is!
[13:51] Bansai
The Kiheitai episode was a little bloody.
[14:01] Taka
I'm sorry.
[14:03] Taka
I shouldn't be so violent.
[14:06] Taka
But I really want to destroy...
[14:10] Taka
...the Greater Edo Ordinance Regarding
the Healthy Development of Youths!
[14:21] Kagura
This turned into a
typical random episode.
[14:24] Kagura
We got all these people here and
we still can't make it work?
[14:27] Kagura
Are you zeros?
[14:28] Kagura
Total zeros?
[14:29] Kagura
Are you going to spend the
rest of your lives as zeros?
[14:31] Gin
Kagura-chan, don't say that.
[14:34] Gin
We're trying the best we can!
[14:36] Shin
Exactly! Tell it like it is, Gin-san!
[14:40] Shin
It's been a mess, but
we've been apologizing!
[14:42] Kagura
What are you talking about?
[14:44] Kagura
We haven't done any apologizing.
The producers have...
[14:46] Shin
Hey! Stop talking!
[14:48] Shin
That's a delicate issue!
[14:49] Shin
It's gotten pretty touchy!
[14:51] Gin
Think about it, Kagura.
[14:53] Gin
We've done some stupid things,
but we've always apologized.
[14:59] Kagura
Really?
[15:01] Gin
Sure!
[15:02] Gin
Let's look back!
[15:04] Shin
I-I'm sorry.
[15:06] Shin
We're sorry! We're really sorry!
[15:08] Shin
We'll lick your boots, so forgive us!
[15:13] Gin
Sorry about that.
[15:14] Gin
I got too cocky.
[15:15] Gin
I'm sorry!
[15:17] Madao
I'm very sorry.
[15:18] Sa
Sorry...
[15:20] Sa
Sorry.
[15:21] Sa
Sorry.
[15:22] Sa
Please forgive me.
[15:25] Zura
Teehee, I got caught.
[15:29] Zura
Sorry!
[15:32] Toshi
I'm sorry!
[15:34] Toshi
I'm sorry!
[15:35] Toshi
Please! Please spare my life!
[15:38] Matsu
Sorry. Bye.
[15:40] All
We're sorry!
[15:42] Cath
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
[15:44] Shin
I'm sorry!
[15:45] Toshi
My bad.
[15:46] Kondo
Oh. Sorry.
[15:47] A
I'm sorry!
[15:48] B
I'm terribly sorry.
[15:49] C
Sorry.
[15:49] Gin
Yeah, sorry about that.
[15:50] A
Sorry.
[15:52] B
I'm sorry.
[15:57] Gin
We deeply apologize.
[16:02] Kagura
Oh, we've done more
apologizing than I realized.
[16:05] Shin
No idea who we were apologizing to, though.
[16:07] Gin
Yeah, everybody's forgotten that
we can be serious at times.
[16:11] Gin
I'm sure you've all forgotten
my touching apology.
[16:15] Both
Touching apology?
[16:16] Gin
Yes, my touching apology!
[16:22] Gin
Damn old man!
[16:26] Jirocho
Kid!
[16:36] Gin
I'm sorry.
[16:37] Jirocho
No, I'm the one who's sorry.
[16:46] Gin
I will keep my promise and survive.
[16:49] Gin
In return...
[16:51] Jirocho
You will keep your promise and...
[16:55] Gin
No, first...
[16:57] Both
I'm sorry.
[16:59] Gin
Right?
[17:01] Shin
The hell are you on?!
[17:02] Shin
That never happened!
[17:03] Shin
Don't start rewriting history!
[17:05] Kagura
You ruined a good scene! Don't
put words in Jirocho's mouth!
[17:09] Toshi
I guess this is it.
[17:11] ---
I'm surprised they even lasted this long.
[17:13] Okita
Let's go drink.
[17:15] Okita
Without Hijikata-san.
[17:16] Toshi
Eh?!
[17:17] Kyu
Tae-chan, please come drink at my place.
[17:20] Otae
Oh, that's a good idea.
[17:21] Madao
Yay! Free food!
[17:23] Tojo
Lady! I already booked us at !
[17:27] Otose*
Tama, if Gintoki drinks himself
cold, take all his possessions.
[17:30] Tama
Understood, Lady Otose.
[17:32] Cath
We won't leave a single ass hair.
[17:34] Sa
Hey! Gin-san's ass hair is mine!
[17:36] Tsu
What are you fighting about? Foolishness.
[17:40] Zura
I guess I'll go home and
take a Joi by myself.
[17:43] Yama
Don't you mean, take a bath?!
[17:45] Yama
And you realize that you're
surrounded by cops!
[17:47] Kondo
Zaki, that's enough for today.
[17:49] Yama
Huh?
[17:49] Kondo
We should go drink instead of wasting
our time on this Odd Jobs mess.
[17:53] Toshi
That's true.
[17:55] Toshi
Well, let's call it a wrap.
[18:00] All
Huh?
[18:03] Gin
Th-That's...
[18:05] Gin
The gorilla author!
SIGN Me
[18:14] Gin
That stinks!
[18:17] Gin
What is this?
[18:18] Shin
It looks like a letter.
[18:20] Gin
Kagura, you don't have to stay in
character, so read this letter.
[18:23] Kagura
Okay.
[18:26] A
We would like to thank everyone
[18:29] A
who has supported the Gintama
anime this entire time.
[18:34] A
This show will be ending for now,
[18:40] A
but it has nothing to do with
[18:44] A
any trouble we may have caused.
[18:46] A
And it has nothing to
do with the fact that
[18:49] A
the animation staff faithfully
adapted every dirty joke.
[18:55] A
And it has nothing to do with the fact
that I can no longer eat fried chicken.
[19:00] A
And it has nothing to do with the fact
that director Fuji** got divorced.
[19:07] A
There was never any internal strife.
[19:10] A
The only strife was in
director Fuji**'s household.
[19:14] A
If you want a reason, it's because the
producer suddenly shaved his head,
[19:20] A
so we could no longer sacrifice
his hair as a way to apologize
[19:22] A
when something went wrong.
[19:25] A
So you don't need to be sad.
[19:28] A
We promise that when
his hair is long enough
[19:31] A
for him to be frequenting
hostess clubs again,
[19:34] A
we'll return and shave his head again.
[19:40] A
So wipe away those tears. Cheer up.
[19:44] A
We ask someone out there to send director
Fuji** arranged marriage proposals.
[19:49] A
This isn't the end.
[19:52] A
So we don't intend to say goodbye.
[19:55] A
There's only one thing for us to say.
[19:59] A
We're sorry!
[20:02] A
If we ever meet again,
we'll have reflected
[20:05] ---
upon our behavior and cleaned up our act,
[20:08] A
to bring you a powered-up Gintama.
[20:10] A
That's what it will take.
[20:14] A
On behalf of the Gintama
staff, I promise you this.
[20:18] A
No matter what happens,
[20:21] A
the Gintama staff and Gintama
[20:24] A
will never give up (on dirty jokes)!
[20:29] Sorachi
I want to be a cheese steamed bun!
[20:34] Shin
Gin-san, the gorilla left.
[20:36] Kagura
Should we beat him up later?
[20:41] Gin
Stupid.
[20:42] Gin
You should know the answer.
[20:44] Gin
We just kind of popped back up,
[20:46] Gin
so when it's time to close down,
[20:48] Gin
we'll pop out!
[20:50] Both
Yeah!
[20:51] All
So long, everyone!
[20:54] All
Sorry that we'll never
give up (on dirty jokes)!
E253 - Nobody with Natural Straight Hair Can Be That Bad
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Lake Toya
[00:05] Gin
Hey, I'm back.
[00:12] Gin
Didn't you hear that Gin-san's back?
[00:15] Gin
Don't you idiots know how
to welcome someone?!
[00:22] Gin
Man, they're so mean.
[00:25] Gin
Are they upset about the
six month vacation?
[00:29] Gin
Seriously, kids need way
too much attention.
[00:33] Gin
Hi!
[00:34] Gin
Long time no see,
Shin-chan, Kagura-chan!
[00:36] Gin
How's it going?
[00:37] Gin
Sorry I ran out on you for so long.
[00:40] Gin
I brought you some Shinsengumi
manju, so cheer up.
[00:47] Shin
Honestly, what were you doing?
[00:49] Shin
You're late.
[00:50] Kag
Get dressed.
[00:52] Kag
We have a visitor.
[00:53] ---
Oh, yeah, sorry.
[00:54] Shin
Hurry up!
[00:55] Shin
Kin-san!
[00:55] Kag
Kin-chan!
[00:57] Gin
Kin-san?
SIGN Be sure to watch Kintama in a well-lit room
and sit some distance from the TV!!
[00:59] Kin
Oh, sorry about that.
[01:02] Kin
I've got a splitting headache after
drinking too much last night.
[01:06] Kin
Sorry about the poor reception.
[01:10] Kin
I'm Odd Jobs Sakata Kintoki.
[01:15] Kin
Please have a seat,
[01:18] Kin
sir.
SIGN Nobody with Natural Straight
Hair Can Be That Bad
[02:56] Gin
Sorry, I'm in the wrong place.
[03:01] Gin
What the hell?
[03:03] Gin
I'm so drunk, I ended up in a different
anime and pulled a Breakfast Attack.
[03:07] Gin
Yeah, that was a shock.
[03:08] Gin
I didn't hear about this
show being on TV Tokyo.
[03:12] Gin
It looks like a ratings bomb
to me, so I'd be worried.
[03:15] Gin
The last time I saw a
first episode this bad,
[03:18] Gin
Gintama was switched to a different
time slot six months later.
[03:21] Gin
Maybe I should have
given them some advice.
[03:24] Gin
Like, to add a special
attack or something.
[03:27] Gin
And Kintama is such a crass title.
[03:30] Gin
Why not something flashy
like Kin no Exorcist?
[03:33] Gin
They'll need to give that boring
four-eyes a bunch of moles
[03:35] ---
and turn him into the
main character's little brother
[03:37] ---
if they want the manga
to sell a million copies.
[03:40] Gin
And if they're going with
a heroine that's a kid,
[03:40] [SONG] Song
Sada-Sada Haru-Haru
Gobbles everyone down
[03:41] Gin
they should make her small
enough to be a mascot,
[03:44] Gin
then make her dance with that dog.
[03:44] [SONG] Song
Tears everyone up
Tomorrow will be another bloody day
[03:50] Gin
The nail in the coffin would
be the main character.
[03:52] Gin
He's too polished.
[03:54] Gin
Nobody's gonna remember a
guy with straight hair.
[03:56] Gin
The main character needs wavy hair.
SIGN Odd Jobs Kin-chan
SIGN Snack Otose
[04:00] Gin
Anyway, their faces looked
awfully familiar,
[04:02] Gin
despite being a new show...
[04:04] Gin
Whatever.
[04:06] Gin
Time to go home.
[04:09] Gin
Where is home?
[04:11] Gin
Wait, it's not my hangover.
SIGN Odd Jobs Kin-chan
[04:13] Gin
The sign's changed, but
that's clearly my home!
[04:17] Gin
This isn't Ao no Exorcist
or Aka no Exorcist*.
[04:21] Gin
It's Dumb and Dumbercist!
[04:23] Gin
That was clearly Shinpachi and Kagura!
[04:26] Gin
The title changed from Gin to Kin.
SIGN Gintama
SIGN Kintama
[04:28] Gin
Gold is more valuable than silver,
[04:30] ---
but the title's gone down the gutter.
[04:32] Gin
But everything else about this show
[04:35] Gin
is clearly Gintama!
[04:38] Gin
So, so...
[04:39] Gin
Who is this guy, this man
with blond straight hair?
[04:41] Gin
Who is Sakata Kintoki?!
[04:44] Gin
I wasn't gone that long.
[04:48] Gin
What?
[04:48] Gin
How?
[04:49] Gin
Why?
[04:51] Shin
So who was that guy anyway?
[04:55] Kagura
He kind of reminded me of Kin-chan.
[04:58] Kin
Really? My head isn't that screwy.
[05:02] Shin
That's right.
[05:04] Shin
You were born with straight hair
and a straight personality.
[05:10] Shin
Why was the main character's throne
changed from silver to gold?!
[05:19] Shin
Oh, so you have a job for us?
[05:23] Shin
You just turned around
and left earlier.
[05:24] Shin
Is it something difficult
to talk about?
[05:27] Kag
Just let it all out!
[05:29] Kag
Odd Jobs is here to help people!
[05:33] Gin
Oh, really...
[05:36] Gin
Then I'll talk.
[05:40] Gin
The thing is, you see,
[05:43] ---
I left the house for a while, and when
I came back, something was wrong.
[05:48] Gin
The entire anime was wrong.
[05:50] Gin
I've lost my place.
[05:52] Shin
Ah, I see.
[05:54] Kag
Like returning from a business trip
[05:56] ---
to find your wife with another man?
[05:58] Gin
Yeah, yeah...
[05:59] Gin
A strange man was wearing my bathrobe,
[06:02] ---
digging through my fridge,
and eating my pudding.
[06:05] Kag
That would make me mad!
[06:07] Gin
Right? Don't you want to kill him?
[06:09] Gin
I'll °°°° the °°°°° °°°°
°°° °° °°°° °°°°°!
[06:13] Gin
I'm gone a few months and °°°
°°°°°° °° ° °°°° into my house!
[06:17] Gin
What the hell is his deal?!
[06:19] Shin
Anyway, there's some
paperwork to be done,
[06:21] ---
so please give us your name.
[06:22] Gin
Sakata Gintoki.
[06:24] Kag
Wow, even your name is like Kin-chan's.
[06:27] Kag
Are you long lost brothers?
[06:30] Gin
They've completely forgotten
about the main character?!
[06:33] Oto
Stop it, now.
[06:35] ---
He wouldn't want this
loser as a brother.
[06:39] Kin
Hey, that's cold, Gran.
[06:41] Gin
Gran, too!
[06:43] Cath
Absolutely, gold is
much better than silver.
[06:47] Kin
You're joining in, Catherine?
[06:49] Gin
And Catherine!
[06:50] Gin
It didn't take them long to
switch from silver to gold!
[06:56] Gin
What's going on?!
[06:57] Gin
Did they pawn off five years
of memories with Gin-san?!
[07:01] Gin
How did you erase all the
time spent with Gin-san?!
[07:05] Gin
And worst of all...
[07:07] Kin
Now, now. Have a drink,
Gin-san or whatever.
[07:10] Kin
We may not be related by blood,
[07:12] Kin
but men can form bonds by
having a drink together.
[07:15] Kin
If you're having problems, let me know,
[07:17] Kin
brother!
[07:18] Gin
...he's a much better main
character than Gin-san!
[07:22] Kag
Super, Kin-chan! That's
why I love you!
[07:24] Shin
Way to be a man, Kin-san!
[07:26] Gin
And he's much better
liked than Gin-san!
[07:27] Kin
Well, let's get going.
[07:29] Oto
Honestly, he's too nice.
[07:31] ---
Don't do anything stupid.
[07:32] Kin
Yeah, I'll leave this here to be safe.
[07:36] Kin
That'll cover this month's rent.
[07:37] Oto
Hold on. I don't charge
this much for rent.
[07:42] Kin
Please, you must be getting old.
[07:45] Kin
In that case, you might as
well forget about your job
[07:48] ---
and go visit a hot spring.
[07:54] Oto
Come back in one piece!
[07:56] Gin
And he certainly has enough
money to be golden!
[08:00] Gin
My eyes! This guy is blinding me!
[08:04] Gin
So my dull silver luster was
devoured by his golden shine?!
[08:08] Gin
That's why everyone forgot about
[08:10] ---
Gin-san and switched to Kin-san?!
[08:13] Gin
Seriously?! Are you serious?!
[08:14] Gin
Gin-san's given you over
sixty volumes of DVDs!
SIGN Year 1
SIGN Year 2 Year 1
SIGN Year 3 Year 2 Year 1
SIGN Year 4 Year 3 Year 2 Year 1
SIGN Year 5 Year 4 Year 3 Year 2 Year 1
[08:18] Gin
If you line up sixty volumes of DVDs,
[08:19] ---
that's enough room
[08:21] ---
for Tamo-san to take a nap!
[08:22] Gin
Sleep your heart out!
SIGN Young Jump
[08:24] Gin
Meanwhile, that guy's
only been on a single DVD
SIGN Kintama
Bonus DVD
[08:26] ---
that came with a volume of manga!
[08:27] Gin
You can't even fit Tamo-san's
sunglasses on that!
[08:30] Gin
He's still wet behind the ears!
[08:32] Gin
Yet, look at the love he's getting.
[08:36] Gin
In half a year, while I was gone,
[08:39] Gin
he's repainted this city,
this anime, from silver to gold?!
[08:43] Kin
So, Bro, about your request...
[08:47] Kin
Do you want to punish your wife,
[08:49] Kin
or do you want payback
on the other man?
[08:52] Kin
Which would you prefer?
[08:54] Gin
Neither.
[08:55] Kin
Huh?
[08:56] Kin
What do you want to do then?
[08:58] Gin
Forget about gold and silver!
[08:59] Gin
I'm going to paint this town red!
[09:03] Gin
Could you help me carry these DVDs?
[09:09] Gin
Oh, sorry!
[09:10] Gin
The sixty volumes are so heavy
that my hands slipped!
[09:13] Gin
You're going to die from the impact
[09:15] ---
of sixty volumes of DVDs to your skull!
[09:16] Kag
Kin-chan!
[09:17] Shin
Hey! What are you doing?!
[09:20] Gin
Kochikame VHS tape collection slam!
[09:22] Shin
Stop it!
[09:22] Gin
If I let him survive, it'll be big trouble!
[09:22] Gin
Complete One Piece DVD collection slam!
[09:23] Shin
Stop!
[09:24] Shi
Hey, stop it!
[09:24] Gin
Naruto slam!
[09:25] Gin
Bleach slam!
[09:28] Shin
Didn't you hear me tell you to stop?!
[09:33] Shin
What do you think you're
doing to our Kin-san?!
[09:33] ---
Kin-chan! Kin-chan, get up!
[09:35] Shin
You're despicable!
[09:36] Shin
Kin-san was trying to help
you, a total stranger!
[09:39] Kag
Kin-chan!
[09:41] Shin
How could you do this to him?!
[09:42] Gin
Hold on, Pachi-boy.
[09:44] Gin
I'm not a total stranger.
[09:47] Shin
Don't call me Pachi-boy!
[09:48] Shin
How do you have the nerve?
[09:50] Gin
Tell me you're lying, Kagura!
[09:53] Gin
This is all an act, right?
[09:54] Gin
You're trying to trick me again.
[09:57] Kag
Get lost.
[09:58] Kag
Never show your face
in this town again.
[10:01] Kag
If you come near Kin-chan
again, you'll get it.
[10:05] Gin
W-Wait, Shinpachi! Kagura!
[10:07] Gin
Who is this Kin-san you
keep talking about?!
[10:11] Gin
Didn't the three of us work
together as Odd Jobs?!
[10:14] Gin
Are you saying the
sixty volumes of DVDs
[10:17] ---
we spent together meant nothing?!
[10:20] Shin
What are you talking about?
[10:22] Shin
We spent sixty volumes of DVDs
[10:26] ---
with Kin-san!
[10:36] Shin
A-A samurai?
[10:45] Kin
Enough jabbering.
[10:47] Kin
Are you in heat, fool?
[10:56] Gin
Every episode's been edited!
[11:01] Gin
I-Impossible!
[11:02] Gin
This is... This is...
[11:06] Gin
Wh-Who would have done
an edit job worse
[11:09] ---
than To Love-Ru Doki Doki*?!*
[11:12] Kyu
You think you can beat the
lightning speed of my sword?!
[11:15] Gin
This one, too?!
[11:17] Otae
Is he okay?
[11:19] Otae
His hair's so wavy.
[11:20] Otae
Perhaps he needs help?
[11:22] Kyu
No, you should stay away from him.
[11:24] Kyu
He might be one of those
wavy-haired con artists.
[11:27] Kyu
Let sleeping waves lie.
[11:29] Otae
But we can't just ignore him.
[11:30] Otae
I know. Let's ask Kin-san for help.
[11:33] Kyu
Yes, Kintoki has helped us many times.
[11:37] Kyu
He'll know what to do.
[11:38] Gin
What's going on?
[11:40] Gin
This DVD is also...
[11:41] Sa
Guess who?
[11:44] Gin
Sa-chan!
[11:46] Gin
Do you recognize me?
[11:49] Sa
Who are you?!
[11:52] Sa
That's odd. I thought he was Kin-san.
[11:56] Gin
So this DVD is also...
[11:58] Tsu
What do you think?
[11:59] ---
This is the Kabuki district, where
Kintoki and his friends live.
[12:02] Hino
Oh, it reminds me of Yoshiwara.
[12:05] Sei
Right?
[12:06] ---
There's strands of torn-out
hair everywhere.
[12:08] Gin
And this one!
[12:10] Zura
Hurry, Elizabeth!
SIGN Win the Costume Grand Prix!!
[12:12] Zura
We've spent six months perfecting
[12:13] ---
our techniques to use against Kin-chan!
[12:16] Zura
Why would you do that?
[12:17] Zura
Cut me some slack!
[12:19] Zura
Okay, you pass!
[12:20] Gin
I-I haven't just been forgotten.
[12:24] Gin
My existence has been wiped
clean from this town,
[12:29] ---
from the sixty volumes of DVDs...
[12:31] Gin
Sakata Gintoki's accomplishments
and history
[12:36] Gin
have been stolen by Sakata Kintoki!
[12:49] Gin
Pops, give me another one
so I can forget everything.
[12:54] Pop
Honestly, you should
stop for the night.
[12:57] Gin
If it's money you're
worried about, don't.
[12:59] Gin
You'll forget I was
ever here soon enough.
[13:03] Pop
What are you talking about?
[13:06] Kin
Give me a hot one, Pops.
[13:07] Kin
One for this guy, too.
[13:09] Kin
Oh, sir. Thank you.
[13:11] Kin
There are times when men have no choice
[13:13] ---
but to drink.
[13:15] Kin
Right, Bro?
[13:17] Kin
What happened?
[13:18] Gin
Nothing.
[13:20] Gin
I have nothing left.
[13:24] Gin
Nothing at all...
[13:26] Kin
Did you lose at the tracks?
[13:28] Gin
Yeah, something like that.
[13:31] Gin
I gambled my life and lost
it all in a single night.
[13:35] Kin
A golden horse stole victory
at the very last second?
[13:44] Gin
B-Bastard!
[13:46] Kin
Calm down, Bro.
[13:48] Kin
I bought you a drink
as a peace offering.
[13:51] Kin
Sit down and join me.
[13:53] Gin
Don't mess with me!
[13:58] Kin
I told you to drink.
[14:00] Gin
B-Bastard!
[14:04] Gin
Who the hell are you?!
[14:09] Gin
What did you do to Shinpachi
and everyone else?!
[14:11] Kin
I didn't do a thing.
[14:13] Kin
Didn't you watch the DVDs?
[14:15] Kin
They should have been self-explanatory.
[14:17] Gin
Bullshit! I was the one
who did everything!
[14:20] Kin
But how can you prove it?
[14:23] Kin
You're the only one who believes that.
[14:25] Kin
Nobody can even remember you.
[14:29] Kin
I can guess what you're thinking.
[14:32] Kin
That I'm using illusions
to trick everyone.
[14:36] Kin
But there's another way to look at it.
[14:38] Kin
You're the one who's gone crazy.
[14:41] Kin
Your memories are all delusions.
[14:46] Kin
As you watched my success,
[14:49] ---
you began to think that you were me.
[14:53] Kin
Maybe, as you were watching
those sixty DVD volumes,
[14:56] ---
you were fantasizing that
they were about you.
[15:00] Gin
That's impossible!
[15:01] Kin
But you're the only person in
[15:03] ---
this world who thinks that way.
[15:05] Kin
Don't you get it?
[15:06] Kin
You're the one who's crazy.
[15:09] Kin
You're the only one complaining.
[15:12] Kin
Weren't you watching?
[15:13] Kin
Life goes on just fine without you.
[15:17] Kin
I dare say it's going better
than in your fantasy world.
[15:22] Kin
That's reality.
[15:24] Kin
Nobody's looking at you.
[15:27] Kin
Nobody needs you.
[15:30] Kin
Because I'm here.
[15:32] Kin
There's no place for you here.
[15:39] A
Hey, watch where you're going!
[15:41] B
Hold it right there!
[15:42] A
I told you to wait!
[15:43] Gin
Yeah, he's right.
[15:46] Mid
Damn drunk!
[15:48] Mid
Don't show your face
in this town again!
[15:51] Gin
I'm the one who isn't
needed in this world.
SIGN You Will Not Defeat Me!
[15:56] Gin
I'm the one who doesn't belong
in a prime time anime.
[16:01] A
Sir, time's up.
[16:04] B
S-Sir?
[16:06] C
Wait, look!
[16:07] Mid
B-Boss!
[16:10] Gin
I'm burned...
[16:12] Gin
Completely burned out...
[16:14] Gin
Not gold, not silver...
[16:17] Gin
I've been reduced to white ash.
SIGN The End
[16:23] A
Don't try to end the show so
you don't have to pay up!
[16:26] B
It's not over yet! There's
plenty more to come!
[16:29] B
Stand up!
[16:30] B
Stand up, bastard!
[16:48] Gin
Shut up, dog.
[16:50] Gin
Leave me alone.
[16:51] Gin
You can ignore a side
character like me.
[16:57] Gin
I told you to go away...
[17:05] Gin
Sadaharu...
[17:15] Gin
Sadaharu, do you recognize me?
[17:20] Tama
I found you.
[17:22] Tama
The gold hasn't gotten to
one person, one animal,
[17:29] Tama
and one machine.
[17:32] ---
I've been looking for you, Master Gintoki.
[17:37] Gin
Ta-Tama...
[17:38] Gin
Why are you...
[17:40] Tama
Do not worry.
[17:42] Tama
The rest of the world may
have forgotten about you,
[17:45] ---
but you will always
remain in my data bank.
[17:48] Tama
Because I always hold
the reset button when
[17:50] ---
I turn off the power and go to sleep.
[17:53] Tama
I'm sure you do the same thing.
[17:58] Tama
True,
[18:00] ---
your luster may not have
been as bright as gold...
[18:03] Tama
You only shined on occasion.
[18:08] Tama
You were always arguing and fighting.
[18:12] Tama
You had wavy hair. You were lazy.
[18:15] Tama
You were the king of sexual harassment.
[18:17] Tama
You never paid the rent.
[18:19] Tama
You paid your people late.
[18:21] Tama
Still, you were brighter than
the fake glint of gold plating.
[18:26] Tama
When you were angry, your
entire soul was enraged.
[18:29] Tama
When you laughed, you laughed
with all your heart.
[18:33] Tama
Your silver was much more beautiful.
[18:42] Tama
You haven't forgotten
that light, have you?
[18:45] Tama
You haven't allowed that fake
light to trick you, have you?
[18:50] Tama
In that case, you should stand
up and take this sword
[18:55] Tama
to repaint this world that
has been repainted gold.
[19:01] Tama
You will never lose to Sakata Kintoki.
SIGN Kin-chan has your back Odd Jobs Kin-chan
[19:04] Tama
You won't lose to a blond.
You won't lose to straight hair.
[19:08] Tama
You won't lose to gold.
SIGN Lake Toya
[19:10] Tama
Try to remember what
color your soul is.
[19:19] Gin
I haven't forgotten.
[19:21] Gin
I will never forget.
[19:24] Gin
My soul has been colored
by every one of you fools.
[19:31] Gin
It's a dirty silver!
[19:49] Gin
This isn't over yet.
[19:54] Gin
I'm just getting started.
SIGN Gintama Episode 253 Nobody with Straight Blond Hair Can Be That Good
SIGN Nobody with Straight Blond Hair
Can Be That Good
[20:12] Gin
We're taking back our color.
[20:14] Gin
We're taking down this world of gold!
SIGN Gintama Episode 253
Nobody with Straight Blond Hair
Can Be That Good
[20:18] Gin
Let's go!
SIGN Odd Jobs Kin-chan
[20:25] Gin
Uh, excuse me.
[20:27] Gin
Is Kintoki-kun here?
[20:29] Kin
Sorry, I'm taking a bath right now.
[20:32] Kin
Could you wait a bit?
[20:33] Gin
Oh, it's okay.
[20:35] Gin
Then I'll leave this letter
of challenge here.
[20:38] Gin
Oh, maybe I should just come back.
[20:40] Tama
What are you doing?
[20:42] ---
Are you here to fool
around? Are you an idiot?
[20:44] Gin
Well, for some reason, it feels awkward
[20:46] ---
to step inside my own home,
[20:47] Gin
but at the same time, I don't
want to wreck my own place.
[20:50] Tama
Come over here.
[20:51] ---
Do you believe we can
win without a plan?
[20:57] Tama
I'll be blunt.
[20:58] ---
The way things stand now, it's
impossible for you to win.
[21:01] Gin
Didn't you just say I will never lose?
[21:03] Tama
Straight blond hair, honest,
and fairly well-off.
[21:07] Tama
How could you ever defeat
someone who has conquered
[21:11] ---
every one of your weaknesses?
[21:13] Gin
Huh? What?
[21:14] Gin
Are you trying to beat my ass
[21:16] ---
or tear my rectum out of my ass?
[21:18] ---
Which is it?
[21:19] Tama
I'm beating your ass with your rectum.
[21:21] Tama
Start by reading this.
[21:23] Tama
You must know your enemy
before you can start a war.
[21:27] Gin
An instruction manual?
Are you serious?
SIGN Instruction Manual Confidential
[21:30] Gin
How am I supposed to find
information about him in here?
[21:32] Gin
He's not a plastic model.
[21:37] Kin
Sorry to keep you waiting.
[21:40] Kin
I was washing my head.
[21:45] Kin
Huh? Nobody's here?
[21:49] Tama
Yes, Sakata Kintoki was created
[21:52] ---
by Gengai-sama at the request of
[21:54] Tama
Shinpachi-sama and Kagura-sama
as a substitute Odd Jobs leader.
[21:58] Tama
A perfect Sakata Gintoki who
had overcome his weaknesses.
SIGN Ginpla Collection Perfect Kintoki
[22:06] Tama
The Perfect Super Golden Alloy,
Sakata Gintoki Unit 02.
[22:10] Tama
Or Kin-san, for short.
SIGN To be continued...
SIGN Kintoki and Gintoki
[23:46] Kin
Next time on Kintama:
[23:47] Kin
Kintoki and Gintoki.
E254 - Kintoki and Gintoki
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Gin
So, so...
[00:01] Gin
Who is this guy, this man
with blond straight hair?
[00:04] Gin
Who is Sakata Kintoki?!
[00:05] Shin
Why was the main character's throne
changed from silver to gold?!
[00:12] Gin
Sakata Gintoki's accomplishments
and history
[00:14] Gin
have been stolen by Sakata Kintoki!
[00:17] Tama
In that case, you should stand
up and take this sword.
[00:21] Gin
We're taking back our color.
[00:23] Gin
We're taking down this world of gold!
[00:25] Kin
Sorry to keep you waiting.
[00:28] Kin
I was washing my head.
[00:31] Tama
Yes, Sakata Kintoki was created
SIGN Odd Jobs Kin-chan
SIGN Snack Otose
[00:33] ---
at the request of Shinpachi-sama
and Kagura-sama.
[00:36] Tama
The Perfect Super Golden Alloy,
Sakata Gintoki Unit 02.
[00:40] Tama
Or Kin-san, for short.
[02:14] Gin
A perfect Sakata Gintoki who
had overcome his weaknesses...
[02:22] Gin
Wait? What?
[02:24] Gin
Are you saying that...
[02:26] Gin
What are you saying?
[02:28] Tama
He's a plastic model.
[02:30] Gin
Ah, he's a plastic model.
[02:33] Gin
How am I supposed to
believe that, fool?!
[02:34] Gin
That's too simple!
[02:36] Gin
How about some details?!
[02:37] Gin
How can he be a plastic model?!
[02:38] Gin
You must be lying!
Tell me you're lying!
[02:40] Tama
The newer plastic models come
with detail before assembly.
[02:43] Gin
That's not what I meant!
[02:45] Gin
Why does this even exist?!
[02:46] Gin
Why has it taken over this anime?!
[02:48] Tama
As I explained earlier...
SIGN Doll House
[02:51] Shin
I can't believe our leader
ditched us at such a busy time.
[02:56] Kag
No kidding.
[02:57] ---
We need every hand we can get.
[02:59] Gen
I can't offer any hands,
but I can provide help.
[03:01] Both
Huh?
[03:02] Gen
I've been working on this
useless toy for a while.
[03:06] Tama
Gengai-sama first built the
robot to serve as an assistant.
[03:11] Tama
But then they decided to
use it as a substitute leader
[03:14] Tama
since you were gone all the time.
[03:17] Tama
Yes...
[03:18] Tama
That was...
[03:19] Tama
Perfect Gintoki Unit 01.
[03:21] Kag
Yes! This is great!
[03:23] Gin
Is that what the leader is used for?
[03:24] Gen
You feel better now, right?
[03:26] Tama
In the beginning, it still
resembled Master Gintoki.
[03:29] Kag
I thought his hair was more wavy.
[03:31] Tama
But then they began
making improvements
[03:32] ---
to make it more
like the Odd Jobs leader.
[03:35] Gin
No, that's the wrong leader!
[03:36] ---
He leads a different trio!
[03:37] Tama
This was a better leader.
[03:39] Tama
This was the leader they wanted.
[03:41] Tama
At some point, they began customizing
[03:42] ---
the robot into their ideal leader.
[03:44] Gen
How's this?
[03:45] Shin
Looks good.
[03:46] Shin
Okay, I'm up next then.
[03:50] Shin
Die, Gintoki!
[03:52] Shin
Give me more screen time!
[03:56] Tama
It was no longer Master Gintoki.
[04:00] Kin
Hey, freaks.
[04:03] Kin
What's so fun about beating
up a helpless man?
[04:05] Kin
And you're supposed to
be Odd Jobs members?
[04:07] Tama
They had created their ideal leader.
[04:09] Tama
A perfect leader that
surpassed the original.
[04:12] Kin
If you're going to do
dirty business, quit now.
[04:18] Tama
Covering silver...
[04:20] Kin
Stand up. Come with me.
[04:22] Kin
Today is the birthday
of the New Odd Jobs!
[04:25] Tama
...with brilliant gold.
[04:28] Tama
Things took off from there.
[04:30] Tama
He led Odd Jobs on a
campaign of good deeds.
[04:34] Tama
Word spread and Odd Jobs quickly became
[04:38] ---
accepted as heroes by the town.
[04:41] Tama
However, he didn't stop after taking
over as the new face of Odd Jobs.
[04:45] Tama
In order to fulfill his one and only
duty, to replace Master Gintoki,
[04:50] Tama
he made every person in this town forget
[04:55] ---
the real Odd Jobs leader, you.
[04:59] Tama
He used special hypnotic waves
to manipulate their brains
[05:03] Tama
so they would replace you
with him in their memories.
[05:10] Tama
Sadaharu-sama and I are the
only ones who weren't affected
[05:13] Tama
because his hypnosis didn't
work on machines or animals.
[05:17] Tama
Do you understand now, Master Gintoki?
[05:19] Tama
His goal...
[05:22] Tama
Kintoki's goal...
[05:25] Tama
...is to completely replace
the original Odd Jobs leader.
[05:27] Tama
In other words, to become
the real Odd Jobs leader.
[05:34] Gin
The hell?!
[05:36] Gin
Why did you just sneak in the
episode title Bleach style?!
[05:39] Gin
This is turning into a different anime!
[05:40] Gin
This is how we roll!
SIGN Kintoki and Gintoki
[05:44] Tama
That's wrong too.
[05:47] Tama
Anyway, one day is all it
[05:49] ---
should take for you to
understand what's happened.
[05:51] Gin
One day was all it took for them
to switch from silver to gold.
[05:55] Gin
Why am I letting a plastic
model dictate my life?!
[05:57] Gin
I'm not Kyoshiro!
[05:59] Gin
You people need to take responsibility
for creating the monster!
[06:00] Tama
Unfortunately, Gengai-sama
was also brainwashed.
[06:03] Tama
The creature is out of
the creator's control.
[06:07] Tama
If you intend to take him on,
[06:08] ---
you'll be going up against
all of your friends.
[06:14] Tama
First, we must help
everyone remember you.
[06:17] Gin
Is that possible?!
[06:19] Tama
While your past accomplishments
have been overwritten,
[06:22] Tama
the only difference is straight
hair instead of wavy,
[06:25] Tama
and nothing you did was changed.
[06:29] Tama
In other words, there
is a disconnect because
[06:31] ---
perfect Kintoki behaved
like a buffoon in the past.
[06:35] Gin
Wait, what's that supposed to mean?
[06:37] Tama
If we bring out that disconnect,
their memories may return.
[06:42] Tama
We'll need their help to defeat Kintoki.
[06:47] Tama
You must take back your friends.
SIGN Tenny's
[06:49] Tama
Help them remember the man
called Sakata Gintoki.
SIGN Snack Smile
[06:55] Otae
Oh, I'm very worried.
[06:57] Otae
Do you know where
[06:59] ---
Tama-san and Sadaharu-kun
may have gone?
[07:01] Kin
We searched the whole town with Gran,
[07:03] ---
but we couldn't find them.
[07:05] Kag
Oh, no...
[07:06] Kag
What if Sadaharu and
Tama don't come back?
[07:10] Kag
I'll... I'll...
[07:12] Kin
Don't worry.
[07:13] Kin
You couldn't kill them if you tried.
[07:16] Kag
Kin-chan...
[07:18] Kin
I'll find them. Promise.
[07:21] Kin
So don't look so sad.
[07:23] Kin
We came here to cheer you up.
[07:26] A
What's that, Kin-san?
[07:29] A
I thought you came here to see me.
[07:31] Kin
Oh, sorry about that.
[07:33] Kin
Hey, can you bring
every table a bottle?
[07:37] Kin
Guys, I'm buying!
[07:39] Kin
Drink as much as you want.
[07:40] Kin
In return, let us know if you see them!
[07:43] B
Kin-san does it again!
[07:45] B
You can count on us!
[07:46] ---
We'd do anything for you!
[07:50] Otae
It looks like Kin-san has
everything under control.
[07:53] Kag
Yep.
[07:53] A
Uh, please wait.
[07:55] A
We don't allow animals inside.
[07:58] Tama
As far as I'm concerned,
humans are all animals.
[08:02] Tama
Besides, he's a member
of Odd Jobs Sepia.
[08:06] Tama
Isn't that right, Master Gintoki?
[08:10] Shin
What are you people doing?!
[08:12] Kag
Sadaharu! And Tama!
[08:13] Kag
You're okay?!
[08:14] Kag
But why are you dressed like that?!
[08:15] Tama
We are not Tama and Sadaharu.
[08:17] Tama
We are Tamagura and Sadahachi
of Odd Jobs Sepia.
[08:21] Shin
What's the idea, Tama-san?!
[08:22] ---
What are you talking about?!
[08:23] Kag
Hey! Are you the one who made
Tama and Sadaharu sepia?!
[08:27] Gin
Excuse me, Otae-san.
[08:29] Gin
I heard you had work for Odd Jobs.
[08:31] Otae
Huh? You mean the request to
repair the karaoke machine?
[08:34] Otae
But Kin-san's group is on it.
[08:35] Gin
You should try us instead
of those slackers.
[08:38] Gin
I promise that we'll be more useful.
[08:41] Kag
Hey! First you copy us, and
now you're stealing our work?!
[08:45] A
Oh, it's over here!
[08:46] Shin
Ah! H-Hold on!
[08:49] Tama
Understood?
[08:50] Tama
We must steal their glory
and draw attention
[08:53] Tama
to help them remember you.
[08:55] Gin
Yeah, I know. I got this, Matagura.
[08:58] Tama
It's Tamagura.
[08:58] Gin
Okay, this is it?
[09:00] Gin
This is a new model with all
the parts to TRA-BRYU's "Road"?
[09:02] A
Yes, that and 300,000 other songs.
[09:04] Gin
Okay, I got it.
[09:06] Gin
There isn't enough room here
so I'll move it over there. Upsie...
[09:09] Gin
Oh, sorry!
[09:10] Gin
The 300,000 parts to "Road" are
so heavy that I lost my grip!
[09:13] Tama
Master Gintoki!
[09:14] Tama
Calm down! It's not the
time to unleash your rage!
[09:15] Gin
"Road," Part One!
[09:16] Gin
"Road," Part Two!
[09:17] Gin
"Road," Part Three!
[09:19] Gin
Boo!
[09:19] Shin
Why are you talking like it's a haunted house?!
[09:22] Shin
Cut it out!
[09:23] Shin
Why do you keep doing this?!
[09:25] Gin
Shit, I lost control!
[09:26] Shin
You've completely destroyed
the karaoke machine!
[09:28] Tama
It's fine. He was simply preparing
this machine for me to dive inside.
[09:32] Gin
Right, she can communicate with
broken machines and repair them.
SIGN Fresh Oil
[09:39] Tama
Want a drink?
[09:40] Tama
So what's wrong? You look blue.
[09:43] Tama
You still can't forget
about Mr. Steamer?
[09:45] Gin
There we go! Machines on
their afternoon break!
[09:48] Tama
I told you to give up on him.
[09:50] Tama
He's not going to leave his wife.
[09:52] Tama
Plus, he's been cooking it up every
night with Telly the receptionist.
[09:57] Tama
He's always ready to move
on to his next target.
[10:01] Tama
If you let that man play you,
[10:03] ---
it won't be long before
you're fizzled out.
[10:06] Tama
Oh, there's a mixer with Dyson
from Foreign Capital tonight.
SIGN Dyson
[10:10] Gin
Go, Tama!
[10:11] Gin
Show them the true power of Odd Jobs!
[10:13] Kin
Wait.
[10:15] Kin
Mr. Steamer wants to talk.
[10:17] Gin
H-He can also communicate?!
[10:20] Kin
Mr. Steamer was turned
off a long time ago.
[10:24] Kin
Ever since he returned
from a business trip
SIGN Healsio
[10:26] ---
to find his wife cooking
it up with Healsio.
[10:28] Kin
After that...
[10:30] Kin
He turned to you and
Telly out of loneliness.
[10:32] Kin
But you should know well that
he can no longer cook anyone.
[10:36] Tama
You mean that Karaoky and
[10:38] ---
Mr. Steamer had a platonic relationship?
[10:39] Kin
When you went to the karaoke bar,
[10:42] ---
he felt himself get a little warm,
[10:44] ---
even though he wasn't turned on.
[10:46] Tama
He's lying! Don't be fooled!
[10:47] Tama
Mr. Steamer would never say that!
[10:49] Kin
Could you play that song for him again?
[10:52] Tama
Don't, Karaoky!
[10:55] Otae
And cry on your own...
[10:59] Otae
Then you'll shine bright,
[11:01] Otae
Ultra Soul!
[11:03] All
Hey!
[11:05] Shin
Way to go, Kin-san!
[11:06] Shin
You always come through!
[11:07] Kag
I'm up next!
[11:08] Kag
Let me sing!
[11:13] Kyu
As you can see, after
I gave him a scolding,
[11:16] ---
he's refusing to come down.
[11:18] Kyu
I'm not sure what to do,
so I went to you.
[11:20] Gin
Okay, okay. I got this one.
[11:21] Gin
Rise of the Planet of the Apes, right?
[11:24] Gin
We can handle this.
[11:25] Shin
Hey!
[11:25] Shin
Cut it out already!
[11:26] Shin
Can you stop butting in?!
[11:28] Gin
Damn! This time, I'm
going to steal the show!
[11:35] Gin
Sadahachi's on the move!
SIGN Translation: So what's wrong? You look blue.
[11:36] Gin
Can he communicate with other animals?!
[11:39] Gin
Nope, it didn't work!
[11:40] Gin
Dogs and monkeys just don't get along!
[11:42] Kin
That's enough.
[11:44] Kin
I don't know what you were
saying, but I can say this.
[11:49] Kin
I understand you.
[11:51] Kag
Wow, Kin-chan! You were instantly
able to understand him!
[11:53] Gin
Hold on!
[11:54] Gin
That's not Kin-san!
[11:56] Gin
That's not the Odd Jobs leader!
[11:57] Gin
Look closely! That's a different leader!
[12:00] Gin
Everybody together now...
[12:04] Kin
Then you'll shine bright,
[12:06] Kin
Ultra Soul!
[12:08] All
Hey!
[12:08] Gin
Why do you have to end everything
with a performance of Ultra Soul?!
[12:12] Gin
And Tama!
[12:12] Gin
Why are you guys over there?!
[12:14] C
Stop! Come down!
[12:17] Sa
Stay away! I'm going to jump!
[12:19] Tsu
Apparently, her favorite customer
was stolen by a harlot.
[12:23] Tsu
I'll never understand romantic
affairs. It's beyond me.
[12:27] Gin
I'm feeling blue.
[12:29] Gin
I'd like to be alone,
so can you go away?
[12:31] Shin
There's someone who's completely blue!
SIGN Green Tea
[12:34] Kin
Calm down.
[12:35] Kin
Care to join me for a
drink before you die?
[12:38] Shin
Kin-san's also up there!
[12:39] Tama
Master Gintoki, this is
a direct showdown!
[12:41] Tama
You can't lose!
[12:44] Sa
Stay back! Leave me alone!
[12:46] Kin
If you wanted to be left alone, you
wouldn't try to die in public.
[12:50] Gin
She just wanted to see the
gloomy sky one last time.
[12:52] Gin
Gloomy as I feel inside.
[12:54] Shin
The other guy's not even
trying to persuade her!
[12:56] Shin
He might jump first!
[12:57] Kin
Let it out.
[12:59] Kin
It's easier to talk to
strangers sometimes.
[13:01] Gin
You can't help me...
[13:03] Kin
He's not talking to you!
[13:04] Tsu
Then I'll hear you out!
[13:06] Tsu
Start talking!
[13:07] Shin
You're not part of this either!
[13:09] Sa
Um, this may sound
strange coming from me,
[13:10] ---
but I believe you should let
everything out before you die.
[13:12] Shin
You too?!
[13:14] C
Yeah, bro! Tell us what's
wrong! Cheer up!
[13:16] D
Don't give up!
[13:17] Shin
Wait!
[13:18] Shin
Hey, who's helping who here?!
[13:20] Gin
Shut up! Don't be nice to me!
[13:22] Gin
I'm gonna cry!
[13:24] Gin
I'm glad I met some total strangers who
[13:27] ---
actually cared about a loser like me.
[13:32] C
Wait, bro!
[13:33] Tama
No.
[13:34] Tama
Jumpers are usually so worked
up about their own problems
[13:37] ---
that they don't pay
attention to other people.
[13:39] Tama
But if they see someone more
unfortunate than themselves,
[13:44] Tama
they will hesitate.
[13:46] Tama
He's faking it!
[13:48] Tama
Silver can decipher
human emotion in a way
[13:50] ---
that the golden machine cannot!
[13:52] Gin
Oh, sorry!
[13:53] Gin
My heart's so heavy that
I slipped and fell!
[13:56] Sa
Stop!
[13:57] Sa
What are you doing to Kin-san?!
[14:00] Gin
I-It's you?!
[14:05] Sa
I just wanted Kin-san to
give me some attention!
[14:08] Gin
Sa—
[14:09] Kin
Gintoki, you're finished now—
[14:19] Tam
Master Gintoki!
[14:25] Shin
That was crazy!
[14:29] Gin
It wasn't crazy.
[14:31] Gin
I knew you'd be there for me.
SIGN Odd Jobs Kin-chan
SIGN Snack Otose
SIGN Sugar Content
[14:50] Shin
What exactly happened?
[14:55] Shin
When I saw him falling,
my body moved by itself.
[15:00] Tama
Master Gintoki! Sa-chan-sama!
[15:02] Tama
Are you hurt?
[15:04] Gin
Yeah, her head's a little funny,
but it always has been.
[15:07] Gin
We're fine.
[15:08] Tama
Shinpachi-sama, Kagura-sama.
[15:10] Tama
Thank you very much.
[15:12] Tama
You've finally remembered Master Gintoki.
[15:16] Both
Huh?
[15:18] Shin
What do you mean?
[15:22] Gin
It's okay, Tama.
[15:24] Gin
That's how they are.
[15:25] Gin
It doesn't matter who I am.
[15:29] Gin
They'll move without thinking
to save someone in trouble.
[15:32] Gin
They can't stand around when
something bad is going down.
[15:35] Gin
They move without considering
the consequences.
[15:38] Gin
Those are the kind of
fools who join Odd Jobs.
[15:43] Gin
They haven't forgotten that.
[15:45] Gin
That's all I needed to know.
[15:47] Gin
As long as they've got that,
[15:48] ---
it doesn't matter who the leader is.
[15:51] Kag
Master Gintoki!
[15:52] Gin
You saved my life, kids.
[15:55] Gin
Well, yeah...
[15:57] Gin
I guess.
[15:59] Gin
Thanks for everything.
[16:03] Gin
Take care, Odd Jobs.
[16:08] Kag
Why did he look so sad?
[16:13] Kag
Why do we feel so unhappy?
[16:17] Kag
It's like we've forgotten
something important.
[16:20] Kag
Like we threw away an ice cream carton
lid without licking it first.
[16:25] Shin
Kagura-chan...
[16:27] Shin
Wouldn't that just be garbage?
[16:32] Otae
That's right, and then he used
[16:34] ---
the karaoke machine to hit
Kin-san in the head.
[16:36] Kyu
Oh, so he was acting the
same when you saw him.
[16:40] Otae
He's such a strange person.
[16:42] Kyu
Yes.
[16:45] Otae
Oddly enough, this seems so familiar.
[16:49] Otae
Didn't we used to laugh like this before?
[16:52] Kyu
Don't we laugh all the time?
[16:54] Otae
I'm having fun now, too.
[16:56] Otae
But something seems different.
[16:58] Otae
It feels like something's missing.
[17:01] Kyu
What's that?
[17:03] Otae
I don't know...
[17:06] Otae
But if I had to describe this feeling,
[17:08] Otae
it's like I've dropped a glove
in the middle of the road.
SIGN Hinoya Tea
[17:11] Tsu
Fool.
[17:12] Tsu
What are you doing?
[17:14] Tsu
You should take better
care of yourself.
[17:16] Sa
I wasn't planning on dying!
[17:19] Sa
Besides, Tsu-ki, this
wouldn't have happened
[17:21] ---
if you hadn't put moves on Kin-san!
[17:22] Tsu
When have I ever put moves on him?!
[17:24] Tsu
That would be you!
[17:26] Tsu
Honestly, what would have
happened if that guy wasn't there?
[17:29] Tsu
In any case, he was crazy.
[17:32] Tsu
That was beyond reckless.
[17:33] Sa
Tsu-ki, something's wrong with me.
[17:36] Tsu
Yes, I know.
[17:36] Sa
No, that's not what I meant.
[17:39] Sa
I wanted to thank him,
[17:41] ---
but my chest started to
hurt and I couldn't speak.
[17:44] Sa
This feeling couldn't be...
[17:45] Sa
I'm not cheating on Kin-san, right?
[17:47] Sa
I'm okay, right?
[17:48] Tsu
No, you're not okay.
[17:49] Sa
Seriously, that's not what I meant.
[17:51] Sa
I was wondering why I would
be attracted to this loser.
[17:55] Tsu
Yes, you're guilty.
[17:56] Sa
Can you drop it already, bitch!
[17:59] Hino
That means you're attracted
to men who fail.
[18:01] Hino
You're in for a hard life.
[18:02] Sa
You're in no position to talk!
[18:03] Hino
But I understand what you're saying.
[18:07] Hino
Kin-san is a wonderful person,
but he used to be more...
[18:11] Sa
What? You've made me curious.
[18:14] Hino
Then you have to promise
to keep this a secret.
[18:17] Hino
He used to be more complex,
with a peculiar charisma.
[18:22] Tsu
What's that mean, Hinowa?
[18:24] Hino
Kind of like...
SIGN Jump
[18:25] Hino
A copy of Jump on Thursday that
everybody's already flipped through.
[18:31] Zura
Did that really happen?
[18:33] Madao
No, nothing happened.
I haven't gotten any screen time.
[18:35] Zura
At least nothing happened!
[18:41] Zura
This seems so familiar.
[18:43] Zura
Didn't we used to laugh like this before?
[18:45] Madao
No, we barely ever talk.
[18:47] Zura
But it feels like something's missing.
[18:50] Zura
I feel like there was
someone always with us.
[18:53] Madao
Are you talking about Elizabeth?
[18:54] Zura
No, when I was out of work,
[18:57] ---
I killed time by partying
with that really fun guy.
[19:01] Madao
Huh? Who are you talking about?
[19:02] Zura
You know?
[19:03] ---
We went to an island together.
Can't remember his name...
[19:06] Madao
Oh, him!
[19:07] Madao
I can picture his face, but
I can't put a name to it!
[19:09] Madao
It's, uh...
[19:11] Big
Are you talking about me?
[19:13] Both
Yes! Big Dadd—
SIGN Big Daddy
[19:21] Tama
You're not thinking of doing something
foolish, are you, Master Gintoki?
[19:25] Gin
What do you mean?
[19:27] Tama
Nothing.
[19:28] Gin
You think I'm going to ditch
all of this and leave?
[19:32] Gin
Want me to be honest?
[19:34] Gin
The hard feelings are gone.
[19:37] Gin
He did a pretty good job
after stealing my place.
[19:41] Gin
He cares about his friends
and does good work.
[19:43] Gin
He kept everyone safe while I was gone.
[19:47] Gin
His past is a lie, but his present is real.
[19:51] Gin
If that's the ideal leader you wanted,
[19:56] ---
is it worth taking all of that away
[19:59] Gin
for me to return?
[20:01] Gin
I have to wonder.
[20:03] Tama
Master Gintoki...
[20:06] Gin
That's why I've made up my mind.
[20:10] Gin
I want you to promise me something.
[20:12] Gin
No matter what happens to me,
[20:14] Gin
even if I fall,
[20:16] Gin
you won't lay a hand on them.
[20:19] Gin
In return, I'll also make a promise.
[20:21] Gin
Even if my friends want my head,
[20:23] Gin
even if I have no home,
[20:26] Gin
I will take them back.
[20:28] Gin
The truth may be harsh,
[20:30] Gin
but that's the world we've built.
[20:34] Gin
Tama, don't insult me.
[20:37] Gin
You stayed on my side through it all.
[20:40] Gin
You think I'm going to
run away and let you
[20:43] ---
live in this strange world alone?
[20:46] Gin
I'm not going to ditch anyone.
[20:50] Tama
Master Gintoki...
[20:53] Tama
Then let's call it a day.
[20:55] Tama
I need a pillow to charge, so
I'll be heading back to the bar.
[20:59] Tama
You'll have to find a place
to sleep by yourself.
[21:00] Gin
You're ditching me?!
[21:02] Gin
Hey! Kintoki knows that
you're on my side!
[21:05] Gin
Be careful!
[21:06] Tama
Master Gintoki, I've realized that
you will always be yourself.
[21:11] Tama
Did you think I would be angry
if you wanted to run away?
[21:17] Tama
I wouldn't be angry.
[21:19] Tama
Not if you took me with you.
[21:23] Gin
Hey, where did you learn that act?
[21:27] Tama
From the K-drama
Catherine-sama is watching.
[21:29] Gin
Okay, I'll add it to my data
for when I pick up girls.
[21:40] Tama
I must...
[21:42] Tama
I must do something,
[21:44] Tama
or Master Gintoki and
Shinpachi-sama's crew will
[21:47] ---
end up fighting each other.
[21:49] Tama
However, he hasn't given up yet.
[21:51] Tama
Even though he's alone,
he shows concern for us.
[21:54] Tama
I must find a way to restore
everyone's memory.
[21:57] Tama
There must be a way.
[21:59] Kin
Having trouble?
[22:03] Kin
Want me to lend you a hand?
[22:07] Kin
Leave it to Odd Jobs Kin-san
[22:10] Kin
and he'll save the day.
SIGN To be continued...
SIGN Kin-san's Kintama
[23:45] Kin
Next time on Kintama:
[23:47] Kin
Kin-san's Kintama.
E255 - Kin-san's Kintama
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Tama
We'll need their help
to defeat Kintoki.
[00:04] Tama
You must take back your friends.
[00:05] Tama
Help them remember the man
called Sakata Gintoki.
[00:14] Gin
I knew you'd be there for me.
[00:19] Tama
You've finally remembered Master Gintoki.
[00:22] Both
Huh?
[00:23] Shin
What do you mean?
[00:25] Gin
Well, yeah...
[00:27] Gin
I guess.
[00:29] Gin
Thanks for everything.
[00:31] Gin
Take care, Odd Jobs.
[00:35] Kin
Having trouble?
[00:37] Kin
Want me to lend you a hand?
[00:40] Kin
Leave it to Odd Jobs Kin-san
[00:43] Kin
and he'll save the day.
SIGN Kin-san's Kintama
[02:21] Tama
No, thank you.
[02:22] Tama
Otose-sama needed me to run an errand.
[02:25] Kin
You're pretty slow for a robot.
[02:28] Kin
Why don't you stop meddling
[02:31] ---
and go get some maintenance done?
[02:33] Tama
Master Gintoki would never be
so forceful with a woman.
[02:37] Kin
That's why he can't score any girls.
[02:38] Kin
I've overcome that weakness of his.
[02:41] Kin
Since you're refusing my advances,
[02:44] Kin
and now that people
are starting to talk,
[02:48] Kin
I won't spare my ace.
[02:49] Kin
Be a good girl and listen to me.
[02:51] Kin
You should know.
[02:53] Kin
It's better for everyone
when I'm in charge.
[02:59] Tama
You're just a piece of junk.
[03:02] Tama
If you can't even say
"I won't spare my rod"
[03:06] Tama
so it turns into a dirty joke,
[03:08] Tama
you'll never be better
than Master Gintoki.
[03:11] Kin
I've already used my rod.
[03:17] Kin
Damn, you're using some old oil.
[03:22] Kin
That explains why you can't
understand what I'm saying.
[03:27] Kin
Don't blame me.
[03:28] Kin
I have to eliminate all loose cannons.
[03:32] Kin
I will win the hearts of every
citizen and unite the team
[03:35] Kin
so I can lay down my
roots all over this town.
[03:38] Kin
That is the mission I've been given.
[03:41] Kin
Don't worry.
[03:43] Kin
The dog and Gintoki will
suffer the same fate.
[03:46] Kin
I'll erase your existence
from everyone's memory.
[03:49] Tama
Master Gintoki can't be erased.
[03:52] Tama
Your weak points were in
the instruction manual.
[03:55] Tama
You will no longer be able
to brainwash anyone.
[03:58] Tama
If your mission is to erase
Master Gintoki and replace him,
[04:03] Tama
my mission is to live
[04:05] ---
with Master Gintoki and his
friends until I perish.
[04:10] Kin
Really? Too bad then.
[04:14] Kin
Why don't you ask your Gin-san to
come now, in your final moments?
[04:17] Tama
Master Gintoki...
[04:20] Kin
Your worthless leader can't hear you
[04:24] Kin
if you whisper in such a puny voice.
[04:28] Tama
You are just
[04:33] Tama
a piece of
[04:37] Tama
junk.
[04:40] Tama
Master Gintoki is
[04:43] Tama
far more sadistic.
[04:55] Gin
H-Hey! Hang in there, Tama!
[04:58] Gin
Can you... Can you see me?!
[05:00] Gin
Hold on!
[05:01] Gin
I'll take you to old Gengai!
[05:04] Gin
I don't care if he's brainwashed!
[05:06] Gin
I'll crush his balls to get
him to wake up and fix you!
[05:08] Gin
So hang in there!
[05:10] Gin
Give me some time, Tama!
[05:12] Gin
Hey, Tama! Say something!
[05:14] Gin
Hey! You promised!
[05:17] Gin
You said you would
always be on my side!
[05:19] Gin
Machines aren't supposed to lie!
[05:21] Gin
Every homeless person needs
a dog and a loud radio!
[05:25] Tama
I'm sorry. I lied.
[05:29] Tama
It wasn't from a K-drama...
[05:34] Tama
It was the smoke shop owner
[05:36] ---
who dropped by from time to time.
[05:39] Gin
That doesn't matter!
[05:41] Tama
Please save my data.
[05:44] Gin
Yeah, I will!
[05:45] Tama
When I go to sleep...
[05:46] Gin
Hold the reset button while
turning off the power!
[05:49] Tama
Then I will never forget...
[05:52] Tama
About you, about everyone...
[05:55] Tama
About the rent you owe...
[05:57] Gin
You can forget that part.
[06:00] Tama
So could you let me have one
last look at your face?
[06:05] Gin
Don't say that stuff!
[06:08] Gin
Tama!
[06:09] Gin
Wake up!
[06:10] Gin
Open your eyes!
[06:11] Gin
Open them!
[06:13] ---
Got it!
[06:15] Tama
I got a rare shot of
Master Gintoki crying.
[06:18] Gin
What kind of setting is
that for playing dead?!
[06:21] Tama
That's a pathetic sight
to remember you by.
[06:24] Gin
Y-Yeah...
[06:26] Gin
So forget you ever saw that.
[06:28] Gin
The next time we meet,
[06:30] ---
I'll be smiling like a main character.
[06:33] Tama
I'm holding you to that.
SIGN 20 yen remaining
[06:43] Shin
H-Hold on!
[06:45] Shin
What do you mean, Tama-san
was taken out?!
[06:47] Shin
Who did it?!
[06:48] Kin
Who else could it be?
[06:50] Kin
Pachi-boy, we're going
to avenge our friend.
[06:55] A
Hey there, handsome fella.
[06:58] B
Yes, I'm a handsome fella.
[07:00] B
Oh, sorry. I'm out of
money for the month.
[07:03] A
No, we have a question for you.
[07:05] A
Have you seen this man around?
[07:07] B
No, I haven't.
[07:08] A
I see.
[07:09] B
Who is he? Did he skip out
on a bill at the bar?
[07:11] A
Let us know if you see him.
[07:14] B
What's going on?
[07:16] B
Cabaret girls searching for
someone instead of working?
[07:18] C
Oh, haven't you heard?
[07:20] C
Look over there.
[07:21] B
They're from the Yagyu family.
[07:23] B
Why are they here?
[07:25] A
And over here.
[07:25] B
The Hyakka, the Yoshiwara guards?!
[07:27] A
Plus...
SIGN Kin-chan
[07:28] B
Hey, now. We've got fugitives
searching for other fugitives!
[07:32] B
What's going on?
[07:33] B
Why are all these people here?
[07:35] C
That guy hurt one of Kin-san's friends.
[07:37] B
You mean Odd Jobs Kin-san?
[07:40] Kin
Tama was taken out.
[07:42] Kin
And my balls were literally taken out.
[07:44] Kin
I have to make him pay.
[07:47] Kin
This isn't a matter of
honor or reputation.
[07:49] Kin
I'm willing to use any dirty tricks to
[07:51] ---
chase him down so I
can avenge our friend.
[07:56] Kin
So can you guys lend me a hand?
[08:00] Kin
I will use all the power I have
throughout the Kabuki district
[08:04] Kin
to bring down Sakata Gintoki.
[08:08] B
It was a dumb move to hurt
one of Kin-san's friends.
SIGN If you see this man, please contact
[08:12] B
He's basically antagonized
the entire Kabuki district.
SIGN Doll House
[08:16] Mada
Well, let me know if
anything comes up, Gramps.
[08:18] Gen
How am I supposed to contact a
person who doesn't have a phone?
[08:22] Mada
Write XYZ on the bulletin
board by the station.
[08:24] Gen
Don't bring City Hunter into this.
[08:26] Mada
Anyway, be careful.
[08:27] Mada
He's got a grudge against Kin-san.
[08:30] Mada
We don't know what he'll
do to Kin-san's friends.
[08:34] Gen
Hammer.
[08:36] Gen
You sure about this?
[08:38] Gen
That was your chance to split
the head of one of his allies.
[08:41] Gin
Oh, I'll split heads.
[08:42] Gin
If you tell me
[08:44] ---
that you can't fix my friend.
[08:46] Gin
What about you?
[08:48] Gin
You're sheltering an enemy.
[08:50] Gen
Nobody would break Tama,
then ask me to repair her.
[08:55] Gen
Besides, I know that humans
are easily swayed.
[09:00] Gen
A machine's soul is harder than steel.
[09:05] Gen
Tama trusted you, so I
have to do the same.
[09:10] Gin
Stupid old man.
[09:11] Gin
That's why you were
[09:13] ---
brainwashed by your own piece of junk.
[09:16] Gen
Coming from a main character who
[09:18] ---
was usurped by that piece of junk.
[09:20] Gen
What do you plan on doing?
[09:21] Gen
That piece of junk has the
Kabuki district locked down.
[09:25] Gin
Doesn't matter.
[09:27] Gin
There's only one thing for me to do.
[09:29] Gen
You'll be fighting against
your former friends.
[09:31] Gen
They're the hardest
foes you'll ever face.
[09:34] Gen
That's the point of this trap.
[09:37] Gen
You don't have a chance.
[09:40] Gin
That would be the logical conclusion.
[09:42] Gin
Unfortunately, we beasts and animals
aren't very good at quantification.
[09:48] Gin
Sadaharu, we're down to one
person and one animal.
[09:52] Gin
Is one plus one two?
[09:55] Gin
Right.
[09:58] Gin
We'll never be just two.
[10:02] Gen
Can't quantify human emotion, eh?
[10:06] Gen
Reckless, foolhardy, rash.
[10:08] Gen
That's what you're about to do.
[10:09] Gen
But it's possible that
could be his weakness.
[10:15] Gen
He was created to be perfect, so
he can't understand an unpredictable
[10:21] Gen
and unquantifiable fool like
you, Sakata Gintoki.
[10:25] Gen
I guess I forgot to give him the most
[10:29] ---
important quality a leader needs.
[10:32] Gen
I have to stop him.
[10:34] Gin
Idiot plus two.
[10:35] ---
You're on board now, old man.
[10:37] Gen
Yeah, and I promise to bring
another idiot with me.
[10:41] Gen
So Gin-boy, don't let
yourself become zero.
[10:46] Gen
You're the only one
who can stop Kintoki.
[11:01] Tojo
Find him!
[11:03] Tojo
We must punish the villain who
injured our lady's friend!
[11:06] Tojo
Curses, where is he hiding?!
[11:09] Tojo
Could it be...?!
SIGN Costume Play
[11:12] Tojo
I have no choice!
[11:13] Tojo
I must search every
single establishment!
[11:16] Tojo
The rest of you go that way!
[11:18] Tojo
I'm going in!
[11:20] Kyu
Where do you think you're going?
SIGN The Fast Samurai
[11:21] Tojo
Lady! Do not stop me!
[11:23] Tojo
It's time to take off!
[11:24] Tojo
The flight attendants
are waiting for me!
[11:26] Kyu
And you call yourself a warrior?
[11:28] Kyu
There are others around.
[11:30] Kyu
Don't embarrass me.
[11:31] Zura
I have witnessed the
shame of the Yagyu!
[11:35] Zura
Kyubei-dono, you're too late!
[11:37] Zura
We've already checked the
cosplay establishments!
[11:40] Zura
I don't have a single leg hair left!
[11:41] Zura
Attention please!
[11:43] Tojo
Uh, you're the one who
should be ashamed!
[11:45] Zura
A true warrior would send his
leg hair flying for a friend!
[11:48] Tojo
Wait, why are you providing service?!
[11:52] Zura
I'm using myself as bait
to draw in the enemy!
[11:55] Tojo
You won't get him!
[11:56] Tojo
You'd only get a UMA that way!
[11:58] A
Boss, we found someone!
[12:00] Tojo
Wh-What?!
[12:02] Tsu
Well? Interested in
working in Yoshiwara?
[12:05] Tojo
He landed someone!
[12:06] Tojo
He landed someone
completely unexpected!
[12:08] Tojo
I'm in no position to criticize,
[12:10] ---
but why are you people even here?!
[12:11] Tsu
Sorry, I'm not familiar
with the customs up here.
[12:14] Mada
Found ya!
[12:15] Mada
You little cutie, you!
[12:16] ---
And then we... pan!
[12:18] Tojo
What kind of dirty business are
you trying to pull here?!
[12:22] Tojo
Cut it out already!
[12:24] Tojo
I'm supposed to be the one
acting like an idiot,
[12:26] ---
but I haven't gotten a chance!
[12:27] Tojo
Say something, Lady!
[12:30] Kyu
Sorry, it was my fault.
[12:33] Tojo
Lady...
[12:35] Tojo
Pull yourself together!
[12:36] Tojo
What's wrong with everyone?
[12:39] Otae
We're hesitating.
[12:41] Tojo
Otae-dono...
[12:42] Otae
We're not sure what to do.
[12:45] Otae
Something feels off about
Kin-san's request.
[12:49] Otae
What Kin-san is saying doesn't
match what we've seen.
[12:54] Otae
He didn't look like someone
who would hurt Tama-san.
[12:58] Otae
Especially after he risked his own life
[13:01] ---
to save Sarutobi-san,
a complete stranger.
[13:05] Tojo
Y-You don't trust Kintoki-dono?
[13:09] Otae
I trust him.
[13:10] Otae
But that's why we're confused.
[13:13] Otae
We don't understand why Kin-san
would ask us to do this.
[13:18] Otae
Of course, we're happy
that he trusts us.
[13:21] Otae
But Kin-san...
[13:23] Otae
The Sakata Kintoki I
know wasn't so open.
[13:29] Otae
He never said a word
when there was trouble.
[13:33] Otae
He would always sneak off by himself.
[13:38] Otae
It didn't matter how many
enemies there were.
[13:42] Otae
He would show up with a smirk
while picking his nose...
[13:46] Tojo
U-Up there!
[13:51] Gin
Yo, what's up?
[13:53] Gin
Why are you looking at the sky?
[13:54] Gin
Is there a solar eclipse?
[13:56] A
How dare you show your face here?!
[13:59] A
I'll only ask you once!
[14:00] A
Were you the one who hurt Tama-dono?!
[14:03] Gin
If that's what your golden god says,
[14:06] ---
you're free to believe him.
[14:09] Gin
I'm here to flick a booger at him.
[14:18] B
Go! Grab him!
[14:23] Gin
Sadaharu...
[14:24] ---
You haven't forgotten
our promise, right?
[14:27] Gin
Don't look back, no
matter what happens.
[14:31] Gin
Just run forward.
[14:32] Gin
You don't need to worry.
[14:35] Gin
This is business as usual.
[14:37] Gin
Let's go back home
[14:40] Gin
where they are.
[14:46] Zura
What?!
[14:46] Zura
He's running straight
through enemy lines?!
[14:48] B
After him! Don't let him get away!
[14:50] Zura
Wait! Don't hurt Sadaharu-kun!
[14:52] Zura
Furry paws can do no evil!
Aim for the guy!
[14:55] B
B-But he's bouncing around
like he's at the rodeo!
[14:58] B
It's hard to get a read on him!
[15:00] Gin
Don't look back, no
matter what happens.
[15:03] Gin
Just run forward.
[15:05] Gin
Let's go back home
[15:07] Gin
where they are.
[15:17] Tsu
That was an obvious decoy.
[15:18] Tsu
Did you really think we
would fall for that?
[15:22] Gin
I'm the decoy.
[15:24] Gin
And as expected, I landed the big fish.
[15:27] Tsu
Drop your sword.
[15:29] Tsu
Come with me and—
[15:30] Gin
Sure.
[15:33] Gin
I dropped my sword.
[15:34] Gin
Is it my turn to make a request then?
[15:37] Gin
Can you move out of the way?
[15:39] Gin
Once it's all over, you can drag
me to hell or the bedroom.
[15:42] Tsu
Wh-What? Do you take me for a fool?
[15:44] A
Boss!
[15:44] Tsu
Wait!
[15:46] Sa
Don't move!
[15:47] Sa
Don't touch him.
[15:51] Sa
He's my target.
[15:52] Tsu
I told you to stay out
of this, Sarutobi.
[15:56] Sa
You think I can't kill a
man who saved my life?
[16:01] Sa
Laughable.
[16:02] ---
I won't let you hog all the glory
[16:04] ---
and win points with Kin-san.
[16:06] Sa
This job is too big for you.
[16:09] Sa
I'll take his life after he saved mine.
[16:13] Sa
That's the kind of dirty
job I specialize in.
[16:17] Tsu
Sarutobi...
[16:18] Sa
Out of my way, Tsu-ki.
[16:20] Sa
There's no reason for you
to get your hands dirty.
[16:24] Kyu
I understand that everyone is unsure.
[16:27] Kyu
Should we trust Kintoki
[16:28] ---
or trust what we've seen of this man?
[16:31] Kyu
However, this job
requires firm resolve.
[16:34] ---
You should stand down!
[16:35] Tsu
What's that?
[16:37] Tsu
I found him first. I'll do this.
[16:40] Sa
Get lost. I've got it covered.
[16:42] Kyu
The two of you can't handle this.
[16:44] Kyu
Let me take care of it.
[16:45] Tsu
I can do this!
[16:47] Sa
I've got this!
[16:48] Kyu
I'll kill him!
[16:48] Tsu
I will!
[16:49] Sa
No, me!
[16:50] Kyu
I got this!
[16:50] Tsu
I do!
[16:51] Sa
No, me!
[16:51] Kyu
Me!
[16:52] Tsu
No, me!
[16:52] ---
Me!
[16:53] ---
No, me!
[16:53] ---
Me!
[16:54] Sa
Blah!
[16:54] Sa
You've got me all mixed up now!
[16:54] Gin
Um, you're being very
considerate of each other,
[16:59] Gin
but you're not being
considerate of me at all.
[17:02] Kyu
Okay, we'll all take turns sticking
our blades in this barrel.
[17:06] Kyu
The person who lands the
final blow gets credit.
[17:08] Gin
That'd be a lynching!
[17:10] Gin
Heh, I guess I
wouldn't mind having
[17:13] ---
three beauties around when I die.
[17:15] Gin
But you don't need to feel
guilty about my death.
[17:19] Gin
Why don't you all wear blindfolds
and pretend you're trying to
[17:23] ---
smash a watermelon
when you aim for me?
[17:25] Gin
This way, you won't know who was
the killer, so there's no guilt.
[17:29] Sa
Why are you still trying to help us?
[17:33] Gin
Don't worry about it.
[17:34] Gin
Well, hold on while I bury myself.
[17:38] Tsu
Wait!
[17:39] All
I don't think so!
[17:41] Tsu
After him!
[17:42] Tsu
Don't let him get away!
[17:54] Tsu
Now!
[17:54] Tsu
Fire!
[17:58] A
Boss!
[18:06] Gin
Upsie-daisy.
[18:08] A
Boss! Boss! Are you okay?
[18:12] Tsu
W-Wait!
[18:15] Tsu
What do you think you're doing?
[18:18] Gin
No idea what you mean.
[18:21] Gin
See ya.
[18:24] Gin
Sorry to keep you waiting.
[18:27] Tsu
Wait!
[18:28] Tsu
Stop!
[18:30] Tsu
Are you...
[18:33] C
Got him!
[18:35] C
Now, guys!
[18:36] C
I got him!
[18:38] ---
Bastards!
SIGN Looking for a rally partner. Smash hit to your heart.
SIGN Wanna get sweaty together?
[19:02] Tojo
Lady!
[19:05] Kyu
Crap!
[19:11] Tojo
Lady!
[19:22] Gin
There's nothing wrong.
[19:24] Gin
I just see a girl's pretty hand.
[19:45] Sa
This must be Gin-san's underwear!
[19:48] Sa
This must be Gin-san's swimsuit!
[19:58] Sa
Wait a second...
[20:02] Sa
Didn't you hear me tell you to wait?
[20:11] Sa
What are you trying to do?
[20:13] Sa
Who are you fighting?
[20:17] Tsu
You can barely hold a sword, so why...
[20:20] Kyu
It almost seems that
you aren't fighting us,
[20:23] ---
but protecting us.
[20:24] Gin
Looks like...
[20:26] Gin
I underestimated this town.
[20:29] Gin
We got a whole crowd out in force
to avenge one person.
[20:34] Gin
Look at me now.
[20:36] Gin
But I have to admit that
I feel pretty good.
[20:40] Gin
This town is a good place.
[20:51] Sa
Step away.
[20:53] Sa
I'm going to kill this man.
[20:56] Tsu
You should listen to me.
[20:59] Tsu
I'll do this.
[21:01] Kyu
Why won't either of you back away?
[21:04] Kyu
Please... Go away...
[21:08] Sa
Not when you have that
look on your face...
[21:12] A
Lady...
[21:14] B
Boss...
[21:16] Kin
What's this?
[21:17] Kin
Making women cry?
[21:19] Kin
You're a real piece of work.
[21:21] Kin
But don't worry.
[21:24] Kin
I'm here to wipe your ass.
[21:27] Kin
It's time to settle up.
[21:29] Kin
Pay attention, guys.
[21:30] Kin
This is the last moment of
the Kabuki district's enemy.
[21:36] Kin
You're finished,
[21:39] Kin
Gintoki.
[21:42] Tsu
Don't take another step.
[21:45] Kin
What's this about?
[21:47] Tsu
You girls are too stubborn for me.
[21:51] Tsu
I'm not going to try to stop you.
[21:53] Tsu
Instead...
[21:54] Sa
I won't try to stop you either
[21:56] Sa
since we're thinking the same thing.
[21:59] Kyu
My memories are a jumble right now,
[22:02] ---
so I can't know if I should
trust gold or silver.
[22:06] Kyu
So instead, I choose to trust...
[22:09] Kyu
...the tears of a friend.
SIGN To be continued...
SIGN The Meaning of a Main Character
[23:45] Kin
Next time, on the last
episode of Kintama:
[23:47] Kin
The Meaning of a Main Character.
E256 - The Meaning of a Main Character
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN The Meaning of a Main Character
[00:04] Tojo
Lady?
[00:05] A
Boss?
[00:06] B
Sarutobi-dono?
[00:08] Kin
You're siding with him?
[00:11] Kin
You're going to betray
your friends, betray me,
[00:14] Kin
for a man who attacked your friends?
[00:21] Gin
What do you think you're doing?
[00:23] Gin
If you do this...
SIGN Field Trip Groups
SIGN Boys
SIGN Sakata
[00:26] Sa
Stop it, boys!
[00:28] Sa
Let Sakata-kun join in!
[00:30] Kyu
Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[00:32] Sa
Teacher, can we let
Sakata-kun join our group?
[00:36] Gin
...I'll feel like that pathetic
left-out boy who
[00:39] ---
ends up in a group of girls
out of sympathy!
[00:43] Kyu
Kintoki, we trusted you.
[00:46] Kyu
That's why we're here.
[00:48] Tsu
So trust us.
[00:50] Tsu
This man isn't what you think he is.
[00:53] Sa
The Kin-san I know would back off.
[00:58] All
If you consider us friends...
[01:04] Kin
I see.
[01:05] Kin
I suppose you're representing
the Yagyu and Hyakka.
[01:11] Kin
Get out of this town
[01:14] Kin
with Gintoki.
[01:16] Tojo
Kintoki-dono?!
[01:17] Kin
If you're taking that man's side,
[01:20] Kin
you're an enemy of this town,
[01:21] ---
an enemy of the Kabuki district!
[01:25] Kyu
I see.
[01:26] Kyu
Is that your answer?
[01:39] Zura
In that case...
[01:39] Both
We also have our answer.
[01:43] Kin
What do you think you're doing?
[01:46] Kin
Women are quick to betray you,
[01:48] Kin
but men are supposed to have honor.
[01:52] Kin
Aren't we frien—
[01:53] Zura
We're friends.
[01:54] Mada
No doubt about it.
[01:56] Zura
Kintoki, I once made a
promise with a friend.
[02:00] Zura
Never change.
[02:03] Gin
If you ever change, I'll
be there to cut you down.
[02:07] Mada
Kin-san, a buddy of mine
used to smack me around.
[02:11] Gin
Fool! Don't blame everything
on your sunglasses!
[02:15] Mada
That's who we are.
[02:17] Zura
When we believe you're
taking the right path,
[02:21] ---
we stick with you,
no matter how hard it is.
[02:24] Mada
But if you're taking the wrong path,
[02:27] ---
we'll stop you, even if it turns
the whole world against us.
[02:32] Zura
That friend is...
[02:33] Mada
That man is...
[02:35] Kyu
That idiot is...
[02:36] Tsu
That lazy ass is...
[02:38] Sa
That sadist is...
[02:43] All
Our friend, Sakata Gintoki.
[02:49] Tojo
Huh?
[02:50] Tojo
I-I kind of went with the flow,
but I can't remember a thing.
[02:53] Gin
Y-You guys are...
SIGN Middle School Class Reunion
[02:58] Zura
Yo, it's been forever.
You been doing okay?
[03:01] Mada
You still look like a
loser. Have a drink.
[03:04] Gin
...acting all friendly and mature
at our class reunion as though
[03:08] ---
you never shunned me
when we were kids.
[03:11] ---
Screw you!
[03:19] Gin
Bastard!
[03:20] Kin
Impressive, brother.
[03:22] Kin
So this is the power of
a bond forged through
[03:25] ---
60 volumes of DVDs?
[03:27] Kin
But it's no use.
[03:29] Kin
You can try to win them back,
[03:31] Kin
but I can undo your work
with a wave of my hand.
[03:34] Kin
Want to know why?
[03:36] Kin
It's because the main
character in this anime...
[03:39] All
...is Kin-san.
[03:43] Kin
You thought I couldn't
brainwash people anymore.
[03:46] Kin
Tama threw away her life for nothing.
[03:49] Kin
Come on, let's protect our town.
[03:53] Kin
This sideshow continues to defy
[03:56] ---
the main character and his friends.
[03:59] Kin
Send him packing!
[04:06] Zura
Go ahead and try!
[04:09] Zura
But we hold inside us
[04:12] Zura
ironclad memories of the
battles we fought together!
[04:16] Zura
A silver sword lies inside our souls!
[04:20] Gin
If you think you can
break those swords,
[04:24] Gin
break them!
[04:26] Gin
My hypnotism isn't working!
[04:30] Kin
Crush them! Beat them down!
[04:32] Zura
Go!
[04:33] Tsu
Gintoki!
[04:36] Gin
Yeah, I'll let you watch my back!
[04:40] Gin
While...
[04:41] Both
I handle being the main character!
[05:06] Kin
I'll obliterate you.
[05:07] Kin
Erase your memories, your
friends, your very being...
[05:13] Gin
You're the one who's
getting obliterated.
[05:15] Gin
Let's see if your memory
bank is fried first,
[05:19] Gin
or if my soul burns out first.
[05:23] Gin
Let's finish this.
[05:26] Kin
Whether gold or silver wins
this battle for existence,
[05:29] ---
you will be the one who disappears.
[05:32] Kin
I installed a special program
in myself that will activate
[05:36] ---
when certain conditions are met.
[05:38] Kin
This program will cause
a hypnotic explosion
[05:40] ---
that will blanket the
entire Kabuki district
[05:43] Kin
and reset everyone's memory.
[05:47] Kin
There are two conditions.
[05:49] Kin
The first is when my core is broken.
[05:52] Kin
The second
[05:54] Kin
is about to happen.
[05:58] Otae
Shin-chan! Kagura-chan!
[06:00] Otae
What are you doing here?!
[06:02] Otae
Come on! Pull yourself together!
[06:05] Shin
Sis...
[06:07] Shin
We remembered everything.
[06:11] Shin
Who Sakata Kintoki really is,
[06:14] Shin
who Sakata Gintoki really is...
[06:18] Shin
The person who altered our
memories just restored them.
[06:22] Shin
After that, we lost consciousness.
[06:25] Kag
Boss lady, we did terrible
things to Gin-chan.
[06:30] Kag
How do we say we're sorry?
[06:33] Kag
How can we make up?
[06:38] Otae
Stand up, you two.
[06:41] Otae
Let's go back to our leader.
[06:45] Kin
The second is when the four people
[06:48] ---
who started this all appear before me.
[06:55] Kin
Understand?
[06:58] Kin
If you defeat me or
recover your friends,
[07:03] Kin
everything will end.
[07:05] Kin
That was my true objective.
[07:08] Kin
You thought I wanted to take
over this lousy anime?
[07:11] Kin
Sorry, but I'm not going
[07:12] ---
to be satisfied with
your sloppy seconds.
[07:15] Kin
I take everything from you
[07:17] ---
and become the worst
enemy you've ever faced.
[07:21] Kin
But still, you're able to recover
your friends singlehandedly
[07:25] ---
and work together to defeat me.
[07:28] Kin
Yes, that is what I was hoping
to see in this final battle.
[07:34] Kin
I wanted to give this
show its last episode
[07:37] Kin
so I could return as the main character
[07:39] ---
of a show that was neither
Gintama nor Kintama.
[07:44] Kin
Sakata Gintoki, this anime returned
[07:49] Kin
as a tombstone to mark an end
to your pathetic existence,
[07:54] ---
to this joke of an anime.
[07:57] Kin
Well done.
[07:59] Kin
You and your friends have
[08:02] ---
made the atmosphere perfect
for a final episode.
[08:06] Kin
Don't worry about me.
[08:08] Kin
I've backed up my data
and prepared a new body.
[08:12] Kin
Rest easy.
[08:14] Kin
The finale will be very soon.
[08:18] Gin
That's it?
[08:20] Gin
Is that all you have to say?
[08:26] Gin
Sorry, you took so long that I
missed half of what you said.
[08:32] Kin
Y-You'll pay for ignoring my warning!
[08:35] Kin
If you kill me...
[08:36] Gin
You're finished, right?
[08:41] Kin
B-Bastard...
[08:44] Kin
You think you can end this yourself?
[08:47] Kin
Without recovering
everything you've lost?
[08:55] Gin
Nothing's going to end.
[09:00] Gin
Except for
[09:03] Gin
you and me, brother.
[09:06] Kin
Seppuku?!
[09:07] Kin
You'll lose more than your memories!
[09:09] Kin
You're going to cripple yourself!
[09:11] Gin
That's just fine.
[09:12] Gin
Everyone else forgot about me.
[09:15] Gin
It's my turn to forget.
[09:17] Kin
Fool!
[09:18] Kin
Have you forgotten that I've
made a copy of myself?!
[09:22] Gin
I have my own copies.
[09:26] Gin
They don't listen to a word I say,
[09:29] ---
but they share the same soul.
[09:32] Gin
Listen up, Kintoki.
[09:34] Gin
The main character in Gintama
[09:37] Gin
is every last idiot alive in this show!
[09:46] Kag
Gin-chan!
[09:50] Gin
Can I hold him back by myself?!
[09:57] Gin
Sorry, everyone.
[09:59] Gin
You finally remembered me,
[10:02] ---
but I doubt we'll be
seeing each other again.
[10:04] Gin
I was hoping to see your
stupid faces one last ti—
[10:11] Shin
Sorry, Gin-san. We kept you waiting.
[10:14] Kag
We won't let you go off
by yourself, Gin-chan.
[10:17] Kag
We'll always be together.
[10:20] Otae
Don't worry.
[10:22] ---
We won't forget you this time.
[10:24] Otae
If you forget about me, I'll punch you.
[10:30] Gin
Fools...
[10:32] Gin
Now that you're here, this
anime is really going to end!
[10:36] Gin
And it just started again!
[10:38] Shin
That's not true.
[10:40] Shin
You'll be there.
[10:41] Shin
We'll all be there
[10:43] Shin
to save the day.
[10:50] Kag
So it doesn't matter how
many times we forget,
[10:53] ---
how many times we're separated.
[10:55] Kag
Isn't that right, Gin-chan?
[10:59] Gin
Yeah...
[11:02] Gin
I'll find you.
[11:06] Gin
We'll see each other again.
[11:45] Toki
A sword isn't meant to be
sheathed in underwear.
[11:49] Toki
It belongs in a scabbard.
[11:52] Toki
I don't think I can be
your scabbard anymore,
[11:56] Toki
but I'm sure there's a girl out there
[11:59] ---
who's worthy of being your scabbard,
[12:01] Toki
so you must find her
so you can be happy.
[12:04] Kin
I don't wanna.
[12:05] Kin
I want Tokiko-chan.
[12:08] Toki
Geez, you're so stupid.
[12:12] Toki
Will you make me a promise then?
[12:15] Toki
If I'm reincarnated,
I'll find you again.
[12:20] Toki
So promise you'll also find me.
[12:24] Kin
Uh-huh, I promise.
[12:27] Kin
I'll find my precious scabbard.
SIGN Mantama
SIGN aren't cute at all.
SIGN Sponsors
Oedo Expendables
Matsuo & Kiyo Drugstore
°Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN Gold and silver
SIGN The new show Mantama
SIGN begins now.
SIGN Sponsors
Andromeda Sweets Shop
°Not real sponsors. We made them up.
SIGN Episode 1: A Man's Sword
[13:50] Kin
Love Country.
SIGN Be sure to watch Mantama in a well-lit room
and sit some distance from the TV!
[13:53] Kin
There was a time, long ago, when our
[13:55] ---
country was called by that name.
SIGN 20 Years Ago
[13:57] Kin
Twenty years ago, a mysterious
building appeared out of nowhere
[14:03] Kin
and spread a mysterious virus
[14:06] Kin
that caused every man's
pride to rot and fall off.
[14:11] Kin
Where men and women once talked of love,
[14:14] Kin
we now had trannies and women bitching.
[14:17] Kin
Where men and women once spoke of love...
[14:20] A
Fantabulosa!
[14:21] Kin
...was all that remained.
[14:23] Kin
However, there was one last samurai
with a resistance to the virus,
[14:27] ---
whose sword of steel remained strong.
[14:30] Kin
Sakata Kintoki.
[14:32] Kin
Yes, he was the last hope for mankind.
[14:36] Kin
The man who had the right to
claim every woman on the planet,
[14:40] Kin
but instead continued to search
for a single scabbard.
[14:42] Kin
That man was me.
[14:44] A
Good morning, Sakata-kun!
[14:45] A
Let's go to school together!
[14:47] B
I made an extra lunch today.
[14:49] B
Would you like it?
[14:50] C
Sakata-kun promised to
have lunch with me!
[14:54] D
What are you talking about?
He promised me, too.
[14:56] Kin
Sorry, but I don't remember making
[14:58] ---
any promises to you girls.
[15:00] Kin
My promise is to someone else.
[15:02] Kin
A promise that was made
long before you were born.
[15:06] B
Huh? What does that mean?
[15:09] Kin
How much time has passed
[15:11] ---
since I started looking for you?
[15:14] Kin
To keep my promise to you,
[15:16] ---
I changed my sword, my body, into metal,
[15:19] Kin
so I could remain a man, even
if I was no longer human.
[15:23] Kin
Eventually, the human race will
die and I'll be left alone.
[15:28] Kin
But my sword will never break.
[15:31] Kin
Even if you're reincarnated
as a cockroach,
[15:33] Kin
you will still be my precious partner.
[15:36] Toki
Oh no!
[15:37] Toki
I'm late on my first day
at my new school!
SIGN Wham!
[15:42] All
Are you okay, Sakata-kun?
[15:44] Kin
Ow...
[15:46] Toki
Ouch.
[15:48] Toki
Oops, I screwed up!
[15:53] Kin
Could it be...
[15:53] Toki
I'm sorry. Are you hurt?
[15:54] Kin
Is it truly...
[15:56] Kin
...her reincarnation?
[15:59] Toki
Um, excuse me.
[16:03] Toki
That's my plastic bottle.
[16:06] Kin
Sh-Shit!
[16:08] B
A plastic bottle is stuck on
[16:10] ---
the only sword left in the entire world!
[16:13] Gor
What's all this fuss about?
[16:15] C
Ms. Goriko!
[16:16] C
It's terrible!
[16:18] C
Look at Sakata-kun's crotch!
[16:20] Gor
This is...
[16:21] Gor
Don't touch it!
[16:22] Gor
If the main character of
this anime loses his crotch,
[16:25] ---
his only unique feature,
[16:27] Gor
Sakata-kun will no longer be
[16:28] ---
qualified to be the main character!
[16:29] Kin
Teach!
[16:30] ---
Don't make it sound like my
crotch is all there is to me!
[16:33] Gor
For now, let's carefully carry
him to the nurse's office.
[16:36] Gor
Here we go!
[16:38] A
Teach! Could you be any less careful?!
[16:41] B
Look out! There's a
ball coming your way!
[16:45] E
Teach! Please go to
the nurse's office!
[16:48] E
Thanks, Teach!
[16:49] Kin
Hold on!
[16:51] Kin
You've got two balls and
a bat in your mitt now!
[16:54] ---
Okay, here I go!
[16:55] Kin
Wait!
[16:56] Kin
Those are my balls and bat!
[16:58] E
Kick off!
[16:59] Kin
Aren't you playing baseball?!
[17:02] Kin
She hit the school!
[17:04] Kin
My sword!
[17:06] F
What's going on?
[17:08] F
This came flying into the art room.
[17:11] Kin
Is it okay?!
[17:12] F
Yes, there was a broken
screw in the bottle,
[17:16] ---
so I repaired it.
[17:17] Kin
Bon voyage!
[17:20] A
Sakata-kun's crotch
has gone bon voyage!
[17:25] Gor
Okay, let's take attendance!
[17:28] Kin
It's over...
[17:30] Kin
I finally found someone who
appeared to be her reincarnation,
[17:34] Kin
but my scabbard is a plastic bottle,
[17:36] Kin
and my sword has set
sail for a new world.
[17:40] Kin
I can no longer...
[17:44] Toki
Excuse me!
[17:45] Gor
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[17:47] Gor
You're late on your first day.
[17:48] Toki
I-I'm sorry.
[17:54] Toki
Nice to meet you.
[17:55] Toki
I'm a new transfer student.
[17:58] Toki
Sorry about being late.
[18:00] Toki
I was looking for something.
[18:04] Toki
It took forever,
[18:05] Toki
but I was finally able to find it.
[18:10] Toki
Find you...
[18:14] Toki
Sorry it took so long.
[18:21] Kin
Tokiko-chan!
[18:26] Toki
You don't need to cry.
[18:28] Toki
Didn't we promise
[18:32] Gin
that we would meet again?
SIGN Sakata Gintoki
[18:36] Gin
Let's start over.
[18:38] Gin
I'm the new transfer
student, Sakata Gintoki.
[18:43] Gin
Hey, what's with the look on your face?
[18:45] Gin
Did you forget the promise we made?
[18:49] Shin
Of course not.
[18:51] Shin
It doesn't matter how
many times we forget...
[18:53] Kag
How many times we're separated.
[18:55] Otae
We'll find you.
[18:59] All
Right, Gin-san?
[19:02] Gin
There you go, brother.
[19:05] Gin
Sorry to ruin your main
character gig, but Mantama
[19:09] Gin
was created to be your tombstone.
[19:24] Tama
Did you enjoy your brief
experience as a main character?
[19:28] Tama
Did you enjoy having
everything important
[19:31] ---
to you taken away?
[19:33] Tama
That's what you were doing.
[19:36] Kin
I see...
[19:37] ---
So that world was a virtual
one that you created.
[19:41] Gen
When I was repairing you,
I added a few safety measures.
[19:46] Kin
That's why they still
have their memories
[19:48] ---
after being hit by the
hypnotic explosion?
[19:51] Gen
Heh, they didn't need my help.
[19:55] Gen
Kintoki, the bond people share
[19:58] Gen
goes deeper than the memory.
[20:04] Gin
Tama, I've settled my score with him.
[20:08] Gin
He's all yours now.
[20:10] Gin
Boil him, fry him,
do whatever you want.
[20:13] Shin
Please wait, Tama-san!
[20:15] Kag
Can you spare him?!
[20:18] Shin
We were the ones who
asked you to make him!
[20:21] Kag
He was just trying to take
Gin-chan's place as our leader!
[20:24] Kag
He just went too far!
[20:27] Shin
We'll join him in begging
everyone for forgiveness!
[20:31] Shin
Please!
[20:33] Tama
Did you hear that?
[20:36] Kin
You people are too soft.
[20:38] Kin
Gintoki, this is the reality
of what you've achieved.
[20:42] Kin
See how your friends are too
weak to finish off your enemy.
[20:46] Kin
See how you were too powerless
to do anything alone.
[20:51] Kin
Your imperfect character was
[20:53] ---
destined to fail, even
without my intervention.
[20:56] Gin
You're absolutely right.
[20:58] Gin
I can't do anything alone.
[21:01] Gin
Everyone here has their
flaws and imperfections.
[21:04] Gin
But that's what drives
us to work together
[21:07] ---
to make up for those flaws.
[21:10] Gin
Together, we make the
perfect main character.
[21:14] Gin
If you don't believe me,
you can come back.
[21:17] Gin
We'll take you on again.
[21:19] Gin
See ya, imperfect plastic model.
[21:22] Kin
Wait! Did you say I was imperfect?!
[21:24] Kin
Take that back!
[21:26] Tama
No, you are certainly imperfect.
[21:31] Tama
You were so focused on altering
other people's memories,
[21:36] Tama
you didn't realize that other
people were altering your soul.
[21:41] Tama
You should treasure the
life your friends spared.
[21:50] Kin
Gramps...
[21:52] Kin
Can you polish me up?
[21:55] Gen
No idea. I can start by
making you shiny gold.
[22:00] Gen
No, shiny gold won't do.
[22:03] Sa
Gin-san!
SIGN Gintama
[22:08] All
Welcome back!
[22:11] Gen
Let's try making you
SIGN Gintama Episode 256
[22:14] ---
shiny silver.
SIGN We're Back
E256.C - Gintama Classic - It's Your House, You Build It
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Shin
-
SIGN -
[01:31] HATSU
You're saying work is not all
right, but you're doing fine.
[01:35] HASEGAWA
Yeah, kind of.
[01:37] HASEGAWA
I have some savings from my last job,
[01:40] ---
so don't worry about me. I'm all right.
[01:42] HATSU
Are you sure?
[01:44] ---
Call me if you have any problems.
[01:46] ---
Are you really all right?
[01:47] HASEGAWA
Y-Yeah, sure. I live in a
fairly decent apartment.
[01:51] HASEGAWA
Yeah, it's really stylish.
[01:54] HATSU
Really? Then why don't I visit
soon and clean up your place?
[01:58] HASEGAWA
No! I don't need you to clean up!
[02:01] HATSU
I'm sure your room is
full of trash, right?
[02:04] HASEGAWA
I said no! I don't want to bother you.
[02:07] HATSU
What? Is there something
you don't want me to see?
[02:10] HASEGAWA
I-It's not like that! I
keep my room clean! Really!
[02:15] HATSU
Then I'm looking forward to it.
[02:17] HATSU
I'll see you this weekend.
[02:18] HASEGAWA
Ah, wait!
[02:27] GINTOKI
Hey, I'm jealous!
[02:30] GINTOKI
She said, "Can I come
to clean your place?"
[02:33] ---
You got yourself quite
a little wife there.
[02:36] GINTOKI
I guess it's about time for
you to start over with her.
[02:39] GINTOKI
Why aren't you living together?
[02:40] GINTOKI
I mean, go live in that wonderful house.
SIGN ["It's Your House, You Build It"]
[02:52] DEBT COLLECTOR
Hello, we'd like to talk to you.
[02:54] ---
Hasegawa, you're there, aren't you?
[02:59] ---
Hasegawa!
SIGN [Please don't look for me. Hasegawa.]
[03:04] DEBT COLLECOTR
He already ran off.
[03:09] HASEGAWA (M)
Debt collectors were
pounding on my door,
[03:12] ---
and I skipped out.
[03:15] HASEGAWA (M)
That was two weeks ago.
[03:18] HASEGAWA (M)
I was all right the first night.
[03:21] HASEGAWA (M)
I thought I could find
a new place easily.
[03:26] HASEGAWA (M)
But...I couldn't find a
room for rent anywhere.
[03:31] HASEGAWA (M)
Right, I didn't pay my debts or rent.
[03:34] ---
I kept doing those kinds of things.
[03:37] HASEGAWA (M)
So my name wound up on the
real estate black list.
[03:39] ---
Those guys don't mess around.
[03:43] HASEGAWA (M)
Nobody will lend me money anymore.
[03:46] HASEGAWA (M)
No real estate company
will rent me an apartment.
[03:50] HASEGAWA (M)
There's no place for me
to go here in Kabukicho.
[03:56] HASEGAWA (M)
I thought I'd be homeless
for just one day.
[04:00] HASEGAWA (M)
But...
[04:01] HASEGAWA
Now I'm like... like this.
[04:05] GINTOKI
But I think you're looking
better than ever.
[04:08] GINTOKI
Dog...
[04:09] GINTOKI
radio...
[04:10] GINTOKI
cardboard box.
[04:11] GINTOKI
You're completely covered by the
[04:13] ---
Three Sacred Treasures of the homeless.
[04:15] GINTOKI
You've finally found your lifetime job.
[04:17] HASEGAWA
I don't have a lifetime
job. I have no job.
[04:20] GINTOKI
You can change your job in FF3, but the
[04:24] ---
first job, Onion Knight,
is the strongest.
[04:27] GINTOKI
It's always the same.
[04:28] HASEGAWA
Are you trying to cheer me up?
[04:29] ---
Or do you want me to kick you around?
[04:31] HASEGAWA
How could you say I'm like Onion Knight?
[04:33] GINTOKI
You smell like a rotten onion.
[04:35] HASEGAWA
That was a critical hit.
[04:37] HASEGAWA
No!
[04:39] HASEGAWA
I need a place to stay so I
can restore my hit points!
[04:42] HASEGAWA
I can't restore my hit
points in a cardboard box!
[04:45] HASEGAWA
What should I do?
[04:47] HASEGAWA
If Hatsu sees me like this, we'll never
[04:49] ---
reconcile our differences.
And she'll leave me.
[04:51] GINTOKI
I'd say you have no one
to blame but yourself.
[04:53] HASEGAWA
I have to do something by this weekend!
[04:55] HASEGAWA
I need to find a stylish place,
even if it's just for the weekend!
[04:58] HASEGAWA
Can you help me, Gin?
[05:00] HASEGAWA
I'm sure your name is
already on the black list,
[05:03] ---
maybe even in the Death Note.
[05:06] GINTOKI
Oh, yeah. I'll put your name
in my Death Note, then.
[05:10] GINTOKI
See ya.
[05:11] HASEGAWA
Hey, wait! Wait!
SIGN [Real Estate]
[05:17] FUDO
Taizo Hasegawa: 38 years old.
[05:20] ---
Occupation: Onion Knight.
[05:25] FUDO
Um, excuse me, but I have to ask...
[05:27] ---
What is it you do as an Onion Knight?
[05:30] FUDO
I just can't remember.
[05:31] FUDO
I think I met someone
once a long time ago
[05:33] ---
who said he was an Onion Knight.
[05:35] HASEGAWA
Um... Well...
[05:38] GINTOK
It's a job that involves
fermenting onions.
[05:40] FUDO
I see. It's kind of like making wine
[05:42] ---
and doing this and doing that, right?
[05:44] HASEGAWA
Oh, yes. Something like that.
[05:47] FUDO
Oh, I know. I saw that on TV.
[05:50] ---
I think it was on that
show Professionals.
[05:52] HASEGAWA
What?
[05:55] FUDO
No, it wasn't on Professional.
[05:57] ---
That was Music something or other.
[06:00] HASEGAWA
Music?
[06:06] FUDO
Oh? Does it look like I'm lying?
[06:08] FUDO
You think I'm lying? I
really know what it is.
[06:11] HASEGAWA
No! I believe you!
[06:13] FUDO
No, you don't.
[06:15] ---
I noticed some momentary
bad feelings between us.
[06:18] FUDO
Shoot, if my wife were still
alive, she could prove it for me.
[06:24] FUDO
She passed away one year ago. Darn it.
[06:28] HASEGAWA
Well, I think I've already
heard enough about it.
[06:31] WIFE
Hey, old man! The laundry
detergent is running out.
[06:33] WIFE
Can you get some real quick?
[06:35] FUDO
I'm working right now! I'm
going to kill you, old hag!
[06:38] WIFE
Shut up and die, stupid, old man!
[06:44] FUDO
Well, I'll show you some
properties. Let's go.
[06:48] HASEGAWA
Oh, yes.
[06:50] HASEGAWA
Hey, he's going to show me some
properties just like that.
[06:53] HASEGAWA
Doesn't he have a black list?
[06:56] HASEGAWA
Anyway, the old guy seems
a little nutty. Who is he?
[06:59] GINTOKI
They call him...
[07:00] GINTOKI
...the Messiah of Kabukicho.
His name is Sanzo Fudo.
[07:00] FUDO
Um...this isn't it, and
so this is... Oh, well.
[07:05] GINTOKI
There're a lot of bums like you in town.
[07:09] GINTOKI
Some are chased, and some
have a guilty conscience.
[07:13] GINTOKI
They're all in an abyss of misery.
[07:16] GINTOKI
There's a real estate agent who gives
[07:18] ---
them a helping hand and a place to stay.
[07:21] GINTOKI
Fudo is the kind of person who
would offer people a place to stay,
[07:25] GINTOKI
no matter who they were,
just like a Messiah.
[07:28] HASEGAWA
Those who are alive.
[07:30] FUDO
Excuse me, but can you tell
me where this property is?
[07:35] HASEGAWA
Well, I think he's just not being
choosy enough for his clients, right?
[07:39] HASEGAWA
That old man seems careless.
[07:43] HASEGAWA
I'm glad that he'll show
us some properties,
[07:45] ---
but I'm a little anxious as well.
[07:47] FUDO
Hasegawa.
[07:48] FUDO
Do you have any specific
requests for a place?
[07:52] HASEGAWA
Well, yeah... First, the
cheapest is the best.
[07:56] HASEGAWA
And it's better if it's fancy.
[07:59] GINTOKI
Don't expect much.
[08:01] GINTOKI
Don't forget about your situation
right now, Onion Knight.
[08:04] ---
It's enough that there's a roof
over your head when it rains.
[08:07] HASEGAWA
But Hatsu is coming.
[08:09] GINTOKI
Let's try something cheap, a 1LDK.
SIGN [1LDK: 1 bedroom, 1 Living room, and 1 Dining Kitchen]
[08:13] FUDO
1LDK?
[08:14] GINTOKI
Yeah, it's enough for a single man.
[08:18] FUDO
R-Right. I think a single
man needs...1WGTM.
[08:25] GINTOKI
Huh? What did you just say?
[08:26] FUDO
O-One...3P would be perfect!
[08:30] GINTOKI
No, we're not talking about a 3P!
[08:38] FUDO
I know that.
[08:39] ---
But I'm getting old, so it's
hard to speak in loan words.
[08:42] FUDO
Don't worry, I understand your
request and I'll take you.
[08:46] FUDO
Well, I guess this should satisfy you.
SIGN [犬(One)LDK [Dog 犬 pronounced "one" in Japanese]
[08:50] HASEGAWA
That's not a 1LDK!
[08:52] HASEGAWA
Why do I have to live in
such a filthy dog house?!
[08:55] HASEGAWA
Don't you really know what 1LDK means?
[08:57] FUDO
Of course, I know.
[08:58] FUDO
I just thought that was a good
[09:00] ---
doghouse for Hasegawa's dirty mutt.
[09:02] HASEGAWA
That's none of your business!
[09:04] FUDO
Come on, don't get me wrong.
[09:07] FUDO
There's no way that a real estate agent
[09:08] ---
doesn't know what 1LDK means.
[09:10] FUDO
That's a common term. We use it a lot.
[09:13] GINTOKI
Why don't you use it then?
[09:15] FUDO
Let's see...
[09:16] ---
We'll use it after we
come back from our trip.
[09:23] FUDO
Man, 1LDK is the best!
[09:26] GINTOKI
No way! We'll just say,
"My home is the best."
[09:28] GINTOKI
Why do you bother replacing it with
a complicated word like "1LDK"?
[09:32] FUDO
I'm sorry. To tell you the truth,
[09:34] ---
my 1LDK went back to her parents' house.
[09:37] GINTOKI
What are you talking about, 1LDK
went back to her parents' house?"
[09:40] GINTOKI
A 1LDK is a place, not a person!
[09:41] HASEGAWA
Um...Can you show us
some other properties?
[09:45] GINTOKI
He doesn't care about a
1LDK anyway, only rent.
[09:48] ---
Cheaper is better.
[09:50] FUDO
Is that right? I'm not sure
if 1LDK will come back.
[09:55] FUDO
Is that all right with you?
[09:55] GINTOKI
What kind of 1LDK are
you talking about?!
[09:58] FUDO
How about this property?
[10:02] GINTOKI
It looks good to me.
[10:04] HASEGAWA
I'd prefer something more stylish.
[10:07] FUDO
I knew you were going to
say that. Don't worry.
[10:10] FUDO
This isn't the one I wanted to show you.
[10:13] FUDO
This one.
[10:14] HASEGAWA
Another doghouse?!
[10:16] FUDO
No, this is completely
different from the last one.
[10:18] ---
This one is more stylish.
[10:21] ---
Look!
[10:22] FUDO
It has can badges!
[10:23] HASEGAWA
No thanks! I don't need
those kinds of accessories!
[10:26] HASEGAWA
Anyway, why are can
badges on a doghouse?
[10:28] GINTOKI
What? I bet you don't know
what a 1LDK is, do you?
[10:31] FUDO
That's not right...I
said 1LDK is not here.
[10:35] HASEGAWA
Stop it! I can't live
in that kind of place!
[10:38] HASEGAWA
That's not even a house for people!
[10:40] ---
Show me a place for people!
[10:43] FUDO
I see. That's what you
wanted. Now I know.
[10:48] FUDO
Why didn't you tell me
that in the beginning?
[10:51] FUDO
I'm confident in myself with this place.
[10:55] HASEGAWA
What kind of confidence
are you talking about?!
[10:57] HASEGAWA
That's enough! This is just a doghouse!
[11:00] HASEGAWA
It's not even close to a 1LDK.
[11:02] ---
Did you hear what I said?
[11:04] FUDO
Yes, I did. Look over there!
[11:11] FUDO
See. A person lives there.
[11:13] HASEGAWA
That's not the point!
[11:15] HASEGAWA
That's not right! I'm
a useless, old man.
[11:17] HASEGAWA
And I'm a bit of a masochist, but
I didn't come here today to play!
[11:20] HASEGAWA
I'm just looking for a place to live!
[11:21] ---
I can't live in this kind of place!
[11:24] HASEGAWA
Why are you getting shy?
I'm not your master!
[11:28] ---
No one's trying to turn you on!
[11:35] GINTOKI
Well, do you have anything a bit better?
[11:39] FUDO
All right. In fact, I've got the
perfect place for an Onion Knight like you.
[11:45] HASEGAWA
Are you sure this time?
[11:49] GINTOKI
Almost.
[11:50] HASEGAWA
Aren't you going to point it out?
[11:51] GINTOKI
Well, there's some truth
in what you meant.
[11:54] ---
I admit it.
[11:55] HASEGAWA
Gin, please don't!
[11:58] GINTOKI
I know Hasegawa isn't really an
Onion Knight, but a Dark Knight.
[12:01] ---
His job is more like a cockroach knight.
[12:04] HASEGAWA
I said I didn't have a job.
[12:05] GINTOKI
And we'll stop being choosy, so please
[12:08] ---
show us a normal and cheap property.
[12:10] FUDO
All right. Then let me
show you a good one.
[12:13] ---
How about that one?
[12:15] GINTOKI
What?
[12:16] GINTOKI
Are you listening to us?!
[12:19] FUDO
This is one of the best apartments
among my high-end properties.
[12:25] GINTOKI
I said, "Are you listening to me?"
[12:27] FUDO
This one is always popular and occupied.
[12:30] FUDO
But it just now became available.
You're really lucky!
[12:34] FUDO
And the monthly fee is
only three million yen.
[12:37] ---
This is a really rare opportunity.
[12:39] GINTOKI
I don't need it, but give
me a chance to throw
[12:41] ---
some poop on your face instead.
[12:43] FUDO
All right. How about 30,000
yen with a discount instead?
[12:46] HASEGAWA
Wh-What?
[12:47] FUDO
They both have "3", so
30,000 yen is a deal.
[12:50] HASEGAWA
What's the reason do you
have for a 99% discount!
[12:52] HASEGAWA
What? Are you angry? Or
maybe you've snapped?
[12:54] ---
Or you're desperate?
[12:56] FUDO
Actually, the last tenant suddenly
left because of his job.
[12:59] FUDO
So, the household effects
are still there.
[13:02] ---
And the place wasn't cleaned up.
[13:05] FUDO
If you'll dispose or take
care of those things,
[13:07] ---
I'll give you the discounted
price of 30,000 yen for rent.
[13:09] HASEGAWA
Really? Are you sure?
[13:11] ---
That's all I have to do to live here?
[13:13] HASEGAWA
No problem! We'll take care of it!
[13:14] HASEGAWA
We'll use all the household effects.
[13:16] ---
It's a great benefit to us!
[13:17] HASEGAWA
I'm sure Hatsu will be happy.
[13:19] FUDO
That's good.
SIGN [NOBORU]
[13:37] FUDO
Well, it's a little bit
dirty, as I said. Good luck.
[13:44] HASEGAWA
For what?!
[13:46] HASEGAWA
Whoa! This...is...
[13:47] ---
O-Obviously...this was
the scene of a murder!
[13:51] HASEGAWA
By "disposal," does he mean dispose
of everything at the murder site?!
[13:54] HASEGAWA
And "take care"? Does he mean
getting involved in a murder?
[13:57] GINTOKI
Oh, this is a great view.
[13:59] ---
I bet the view at night is wonderful.
[14:02] HASEGAWA
Why are you so blasé?
[14:03] ---
Look at the mess we're in!
[14:05] GINTOKI
What are you so excited about?
[14:07] ---
Can you tell me where
the murder took place?
[14:09] HASEGAWA
The blood is all over the place!
[14:12] HASEGAWA
I wouldn't be surprised if that kid
from Case Closed barged in right about now!
[14:15] GINTOKI
Eh? Is this blood?
[14:16] ---
I thought this was a
custom-painted wall.
[14:19] HASEGAWA
It can't be! It's so disgusting!
[14:21] FUDO
Hasegawa, please calm down.
[14:23] FUDO
You said this was a crime scene?
[14:25] ---
Something like that happens
only in a TV drama.
[14:27] FUDO
I think this place was probably used
[14:29] ---
for gutting a tuna or something.
[14:31] HASEGAWA
That sounds even less likely!
[14:32] ---
Why did a tuna have to be gutted here?
[14:34] HASEGAWA
Moreover, why did the tuna
write a dying message?
[14:37] GINTOKI
What? This is not a dying message.
[14:40] GINTOKI
So somebody's practicing
their calligraphy?
[14:42] GINTOKI
It splattered around the room after it
[14:44] ---
worked hard to write NOBORU.
[14:46] HASEGAWA
That's pretty painstaking work!
[14:48] GINTOKI
Anyway, don't worry about it.
[14:50] HASEGAWA
About what?
[14:51] GINTOKI
Even if they were murdered,
it's no big deal.
[14:53] HASEGAWA
Yes, it is!
[14:54] ---
You sound like this is
someone else's problem.
[14:56] HASEGAWA
I can't live in a place
where there was a murder.
[14:59] GINTOKI
It doesn't matter what
happened in the past.
[15:01] ---
Now is more important.
[15:03] HASEGAWA
True. There's blood everywhere now...
[15:04] ---
that's what I'm really concerned about.
[15:06] GINTOKI
Hasegawa, rooms and women are the same.
[15:09] GINTOKI
Listen to me.
[15:11] GINTOKI
Most pretty girls have already been
[15:12] ---
"done" by some stupid guy
at their middle school
[15:14] GINTOKI
or high school before we ever meet them.
[15:16] HASEGAWA
What are you talking about?!
[15:18] GINTOKI
Let's say there's a
girl who was unpolished
[15:20] ---
and innocent when she entered school,
[15:22] ---
but after summer vacation,
[15:24] ---
she's got dyed hair and ear piercings.
[15:28] HASEGAWA
Again, what are you talking about?!
[15:29] GINTOKI
I'm positive about it.
[15:31] ---
During summer vacation,
she met some loser.
[15:33] GINTOKI
In summer, she had so much fun
that she was taken advantage of.
[15:35] HASEGAWA
Hey! I really don't understand
what you're trying to tell me!
[15:39] GINTOKI
But even so, would you ask her about it?
[15:44] GINTOKI
You wouldn't, right?
[15:46] GINTOKI
You would just keep it in your mind.
[15:48] GINTOKI
You'd like to ask her, "What
happened to you during summer?"
[15:51] GINTOKI
No, you wouldn't.
[15:53] ---
Because you know she'll
hate you if you ask.
[15:54] GINTOKI
It'd be a turn-off for her.
[15:57] GINTOKI
That's right. When we meet women,
[16:00] ---
we already know those kinds of things.
[16:03] GINTOKI
And it's the same for rooms.
[16:05] GINTOKI
In general, a good room
has been "done" already!
[16:09] HASEGAWA
What do you mean that the
room has been "done?"
[16:11] GINTOKI
And if you have to inquire
about the history of
[16:14] GINTOKI
every room you find,
you shouldn't bother!
[16:17] FUDO
Good grief.
[16:20] FUDO
I've been working in the
real estate business for
[16:23] ---
over 50 years and I never...
[16:24] FUDO
I never thought that I would meet
[16:26] ---
someone who really cared about a room.
[16:29] HASEGAWA
Why are you crying?
[16:30] ---
Did any part of that story make you cry?
[16:34] FUDO
He's exactly right. The
nice rooms are all tainted.
[16:38] FUDO
Most likely a murder happened there.
[16:40] HASEGAWA
You liar! I have never
heard anything like that!
[16:42] FUDO
I think it's something like
the magic of the room.
[16:45] FUDO
The room is not just for a space to live in,
[16:47] ---
but also a place to
catch a person's soul.
[16:50] FUDO
As a matter of fact,
this is a problem room.
[16:54] FUDO
Seven people have already died in here.
[16:58] HASEGAWA
What?!
[16:59] FUDO
I don't know what the cause was,
[17:02] FUDO
but the people who lived here started
[17:04] FUDO
attacking each other all of a
sudden, and died soon after.
[17:06] HASEGAWA
Hey, you! Why did you show
me such a bad place?!
[17:09] HASEGAWA
In fact, you were even
trying to charge me rent!
[17:11] FUDO
I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it.
[17:13] FUDO
I just felt sorry for this room.
Everybody thinks it's cursed.
[17:19] FUDO
The room works out well when occupied.
[17:22] FUDO
Even if it's a great room,
[17:23] ---
it's just like a hole unless
someone lives there.
[17:26] FUDO
I know some people call
me a Messiah because
[17:30] ---
I save all kinds of people.
[17:31] FUDO
But I don't deserve it.
[17:36] FUDO
I just wanted to turn all
these dumps into real rooms.
[17:44] FUDO
I'm so glad that you'll
become a real room soon.
[17:49] FUDO
Here it is.
[17:51] FUDO
I want to give this to you.
[17:53] ---
You can use this room however you want.
[17:56] FUDO
It's totally up to you
how you use this room.
[18:01] FUDO
I hope you'll...
[18:07] GINTOKI
I don't think I deserve this offer.
[18:09] GINTOKI
I think this room will be happy when
[18:11] ---
a person who needs a place lives here.
[18:16] HASEGAWA
Well, I think a man who takes good
care of the room should live here.
[18:21] HASEGAWA
It'll make the room happy.
[18:24] FUDO
I want you to take this.
[18:27] GINTOKI
I already heard that.
[18:31] HASEGAWA
It's not nice to hand it to me
and say, "I already heard that"?
[18:35] FUDO
Sir...
[18:36] GINTOKI
This is the third time.
[18:37] HASEGAWA
No!
[18:43] FUDO
Enough! I told you I wanted to give
it to you. Just take it already!
[18:47] GINTOKI
Who wants such a creepy room?!
[18:49] GINTOKI
You can't get rid of it by giving it to
someone who's a nuisance! It's not fair!
[18:51] HASEGAWA
But you're talking about
something totally different.
[18:53] HASEGAWA
Just take it. You said, "It doesn't
matter what happened in the past." Didn't you?!
[18:55] GINTOKI
Right from the start, it was your
fault because you don't have a job!
[18:58] GINTOKI
So, accept the responsibility
and just die here!
[19:01] FUDO
Take it!
[19:02] GINTOKI
No!
[19:04] HASEGAWA
I don't want it, either!
[19:05] ---
Just take it
[19:19] VOICE
Ki...Kill...
[19:23] VOICE
Kill...Kill...
[19:27] VOICE
Kill...Kill...
SIGN [A couple of days later]
[19:45] HATSU
Oh, my! This is a really
great apartment.
[19:48] HATSU
I wonder how he got the money
to afford this kind of place?
[19:54] HATSU
He didn't do anything
fancy, like sending an
[19:56] ---
invitation without a return address...
[20:01] HATSU
Um, oh, here it is.
[20:05] HATSU
Hello! I came to clean up.
[20:11] VOICE
Ki...Kill...
[20:14] VOICE
Kill...Kill...
SIGN [NOBORU]
[22:03] Gin
So last week, Gintama
made its return and now
SIGN
[22:06] ---
we're back to our regular programming.
[22:09] Kag
Feels good to be home.
[22:12] Kag
It's so familiar.
[22:14] Shin
Uh, it's supposed to be familiar.
[22:16] Shin
That was obviously a rerun.
[22:18] Shin
We return and it's back to Yorinuki?
[22:21] Gin
It's only been six months
since the show ended
[22:23] ---
last spring because we
ran out of material.
[22:25] Gin
I would have expected
Yorinuki from the beginning.
[22:28] Kag
Yep, call now and you get half
Yorinuki and half new episodes.
[22:35] Shin
Now you're starting to
sound like an infomercial.
[22:37] Shin
But in that case,
[22:38] ---
we could have waited for more material
[22:40] ---
before starting the show again.
[22:41] Gin
Fool, don't you know what's
happened in the past six months?
[22:45] Shin
Huh?
[22:45] Kag
Yeah, the threat wasn't
Kintama or Mantama.
[22:50] Shin
What was it then?
[22:51] Gin
The one where they play basketball
and the title has Kuro in it.
[22:55] Shin
Uh, you just gave it away.
[22:56] Shin
You're talking about
Kuro**'s Basketball.
[22:58] Kag
If we wait for more material,
they'll overtake us.
[23:01] Kag
I mean, our fail lead and
his generation of Joi
[23:03] ---
doesn't stand a chance against
the Generation of Miracles.
[23:06] Gin
Why are you attacking me now?
[23:08] Kag
Shinpachi, you're pretty forgettable,
[23:10] ---
so switch places with the main
character in that series.
[23:12] Shin
Is that some kind of misdirection?
[23:14] Gin
Well, when you have the trifecta of
[23:16] ---
no material, no budget, and no brains,
[23:18] ---
this anime has to resort to tricks.
[23:20] Gin
The staff was seriously
considering calling
[23:23] ---
the new movie Gintama Z or Gintama Q.
[23:25] Shin
That's plagiarizing!
[23:27] Kag
Next season, we should change
the name to Kurotama!
[23:31] Gin
Eureka!
[23:32] Shin
Eureka my ass!
SIGN The End
[23:39] Gin
The second movie will
be released in 2013.
[23:42] Gin
The gorilla author is writing a
completely new story this time!
[23:46] Gin
We've been using the same
still frame for a month now!
[23:50] Gin
How's the production going?
[23:52] Gin
Is the gorilla author
making any progress?
SIGN Deadline?
[23:56] Gin
Oh, he's taking a nap.
[23:57] Gin
Hello?
[23:59] Gin
Uh, don't you need to
work on the story?
E256.C - Gintama Classic - Within Each Box of Cigarettes, Are One or Two Cigarettes That Smell Like Horse Dung
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] OKITA
Smoking increases a person's risk of
developing pulmonary emphysema.
[00:07] OKITA
In addition, smoking by minors
[00:10] OKITA
is forbidden because it leads to severe
health issues and nicotine addiction.
[00:16] OKITA
Never smoke, even if asked to by others.
[00:23] ---
...Do you understand?
[01:55] OKITA
10 votes in favor, versus 1 against.
[01:58] OKITA
Everyone except Hijikata-san voted
in favor, so this bill is approved.
[02:03] OKITA
The Shinsengumi headquarters
[02:05] OKITA
will no longer allow smoking
in all areas starting today.
[02:07] HIJIKATA
H-Hey, the whole headquarters
is going too far.
[02:10] HIJIKATA
It's like you're purposely keeping
smokers out of here.
[02:14] HIJIKATA
At least make arrangements for
a designated smoking area.
[02:17] OKITA
What are you saying, Hijikata-san?
[02:20] OKITA
Smoking is worse than athlete's foot.
[02:23] OKITA
Even though it's not prohibited by
law, nicotine is actually a drug.
[02:27] OKITA
A drug!
[02:28] OKITA
Everyday, you inhale and
exhale, inhale and exhale,
[02:31] OKITA
you become addicted.
[02:33] HIJIKATA
So, what's wrong with that?
[02:34] OKITA
Even if this is a personal matter for you,
[02:36] OKITA
you can't run with this line of argument.
[02:39] OKITA
Anyone near a smoker is forced to
become second-hand smokers.
[02:44] HIJIKATA
But... But...
[02:47] OKITA
You're Vice-Chief of the Shinsengumi.
[02:50] OKITA
Please think about the other
people around you.
[02:53] OKITA
If a Vice-Chief can't even quit smoking
or halt a nicotine addition,
[02:56] OKITA
it sets a bad example for everyone else.
[03:03] HIJIKATA
H-Hey, Harada. You sometimes
smoke, don't you?
[03:07] HIJIKATA
Are you all right with this smoking ban?
[03:09] HARADA
Yeah...I completely quit smoking,
so it doesn't matter to me.
[03:17] OKITA
It's already been decided.
[03:22] UNIT MEMBER
Man, even with Okita-san's proposal,
that was a productive meeting.
[03:26] UNIT MEMBER
Yeah. Speaking of smokers,
Vice-Chief was the only one.
[03:31] HARADA
It was so smoky and awful in there.
[03:33] HARADA
My clothes are covered in
that stinky smoke odor.
[03:35] UNIT MEMBER
Any person who practices a martial
art knows smoking is unhealthy.
SIGN ["Within Each Box of Cigarettes, Are One or Two Cigarettes That Smell Like Horse Dung"]
[03:50] HIJIKATA
...gimme a break.
[03:54] HIJIKATA
Is he seriously intending to keep
me out of the Shinsengumi?
[03:57] HIJIKATA
Damn it. I might as well inhale as much
nicotine as possible while I'm outside.
SIGN [Smoking on the street is prohibited.]
SIGN [BATTLE ROYAL HOST]
[04:25] HIJIKATA
Ah, excuse me.
[04:26] ---
Do you have an ashtray?
[04:29] CLERK A
I'm sorry. This restaurant prohibits
smoking in the whole facility.
[04:39] HIJIKATA
What's with this city?
[04:42] HIJIKATA
Signs everywhere say "No
Smoking," "No Smoking."
[04:45] CLERK
I'm sorry, but smoking
isn't allowed in here.
[04:50] OLD LADY
Hey! Your cigarette!
[04:52] CLERK C
Cigarettes are...
[05:02] WOMAN A
Oh, no! What's he doing?!
[05:04] WOMAN B
Don't stare.
[05:08] HIJIKATA
Let me smoke!
[05:12] HIJIKATA
Damn it.
[05:13] HIJIKATA
I didn't even notice but
now I can see there's
[05:16] HIJIKATA
no places for us smokers to go anymore.
[05:18] HIJIKATA
I want to smoke even more
when I'm told not to.
[05:21] HIJIKATA
It's hopeless. I can't stand it anymore.
In this situation... I... I...
SIGN [SMOKING AREA]
[05:36] HIJIKATA
That's it!
[05:40] HIJIKATA (M)
I found it! I finally found an oasis!
[05:46] KUSANO
Here's our next story.
[05:47] KUSANO
The universal environment
conservation meeting
[05:50] KUSANO
will be held one week from today.
[05:54] KUSANO
It'll talk about environment-related
issues in the whole universe.
[05:59] ---
And the Bakufu is taking this opportunity
to ask the nation to start thinking about
[06:01] ---
the environment as it launches the micro-environmental
protection campaign for one week from today.
[06:06] MATSUDAIRA
Let's put aside the big problems of ozone
depletion and global warming.
[06:13] MATSUDAIRA
It's important for each person
to do their own part,
[06:16] MATSUDAIRA
no matter how small, to
help the environment.
[06:20] MATSUDAIRA
All your small efforts will start to pile up
into one big push to save the earth.
[06:25] MATSUDAIRA
Yeah, right...
[06:27] MATSUDAIRA
What this old man is trying to say is, before
you go saving the huge Earth...
[06:31] MATSUDAIRA
...you should first save yourself.
[06:33] MATSUDAIRA
Someone who can't even save himself
won't be able to save the earth.
[06:38] MATSUDAIRA
Someone who can't even save himself
and is disliked by his daughter...
[06:45] MATSUDAIRA
...won't be able to save the earth.
[06:49] MATSUDAIRA
Well, we'll explore all of
that a week from today.
[06:52] MATSUDAIRA
All of Edo...
[06:54] MATSUDAIRA
...will assist in helping implement
the smoking ban.
[06:59] KUSANO
We repeat.
[07:01] KUSANO
Currently, an emergency smoking ban
is in effect throughout all of Edo.
[07:06] ---
Smokers are asked to please throw
away all cigarettes immediately.
[07:10] HIJIKATA
Ci...Ciga...rette...
[07:10] KUSANO
Also, please never approach cigarette
vending machines or smoking areas.
[07:16] KUSANO
It'll lead to sever punishment.
We repeat...
[07:29] PASSENGER
Are you taking a trip through
the universe, too?
[07:32] PASSENGER
Man, times are sure changing.
[07:35] PASSENGER
I never thought we'd see the day when
we could travel between planets.
[07:41] PASSENGER
So, which planet are you going to?
SIGN [Note: Parody of Planet Namek from Dragon Ball.]
[07:44] HIJIKATA…
Planet Hamek.
[07:45] PASSENGER
Planet Hamek? There's nothing
to see in that countryside.
[07:49] PASSENGER
It's nothing but tobacco fields.
Why are you going there?
[07:53] HIJIKATA
...Naturally...
[07:55] HIJIKATA
...to smoke some cigarettes!
[07:58] HIJIKATA
Don't underestimate a smoker.
SIGN [Note: Cigarette images were removed from GinTama manga vol.8 and vol.16 covers.]
[08:00] HIJIKATA
They claimed the cigarette was edited
out of the manga cover because
[08:03] HIJIKATA
I looked like a high
school student smoking.
[08:05] HIJIKATA
They also said it was never a good
idea to show smokers on the cover.
[08:08] HIJIKATA
And they ended up not using
someone smoking.
[08:11] HIJIKATA
And we deceptively said it was a pocky chocolate
snack when it was really a cigarette,
[08:13] HIJIKATA
or else we'd be forced to give up airing the
show in prime time in North America,
[08:16] HIJIKATA
or be stuck with an R rating.
[08:19] HIJIKATA
And yet I still haven't given up smoking!
[08:22] HIJIKATA
Once the smoking ban starts,
I'll smoke outside Earth!
[08:26] HIJIKATA
If cigarettes run out, I'll even
travel to their place of origin!
[08:30] ---
Don't underestimate a smoker!
[08:36] MINISTER
I see, I see.
[08:38] MINISTER
I'm so glad to hear that
you came all the way to
[08:40] MINISTER
Planet Hamek to smoke our cigarettes.
[08:46] MINISTER
Unfortunately, this planet
has been turned into
SIGN [Note: Parody of Frieza from Dragon Ball.]
[08:51] MINISTER
a scorched field by the evil
emperor, Breeza.
[08:56] MINISTER
So cigarettes are no longer...
[09:04] MINISTER
This is the last one.
[09:10] ---
Is that all right? Just one...?
[09:15] DELDE
Stop it, Grandpa!
SIGN [Note: Parody of Dende from Dragon Ball.]
[09:17] MINISTER
Hey, Delde! Take your hands off me!
[09:20] DELDE
That's...! That's the last
cigarette my dad made!
[09:25] ---
It's a memento of my dad,
who was killed by Breeza.
[09:31] DELDE
Dad! Dad!
[09:34] DELDE
Dad!
[09:41] DELDE’S FATHER
Delde!
[10:23] DELDE
...Da...Dad...
[10:36] DELDE
Da...! Dad!
[10:39] DELDE
Dad!
[11:02] DELDE
Dad...
[11:09] DELDE
Da... Dad's...
[11:13] MINISTER
Shut up, Delde!
[11:14] MINISTER
Cigarettes exist to be smoked.
[11:17] MINISTER
Cigarettes that you can't smoke shouldn't
even be called cigarettes at all!
[11:20] MINISTER
What do you think would please
your father the most?
[11:23] MINISTER
To let the cigarette get moist in a
drawer or let someone smoke it?
[11:33] DELDE
Da...Dad's cigarette...
[11:36] DELDE
...please enjoy smoking it...
[11:47] PASSENGER
Oh! What a coincidence!
[11:50] PASSENGER
Well, were you able to smoke?
Are you on your way home?
[11:55] HIJIKATA
No.
[11:56] PASSENGER
What? Where are you going then?
[11:59] HIJIKATA
I'm going to defeat Breeza!
[12:01] PASSENGER
Huh? Breeza? What? Aren't
you going there to smoke?
[12:05] HIJIKATA
There's no way I can smoke
something like that!
[12:07] PASSENGER
What?!
[12:08] HIJIKATA
I'll kill Breeza and smoke afterwards!
[12:11] HIJIKATA
He definitely has cigarettes.
[12:13] HIJIKATA
Next time, I'll definitely smoke
cigarettes, damn it!
[12:20] BREEZA
I never suspected that
you were against me.
[12:23] BREEZA
But I admire your rashness.
[12:34] MASTER GAME
Hijikata's quest to smoke
a single cigarette started
SIGN [Note: A parody of Master Roshi's narrations from Dragon Ball.]
[12:39] MASTER GAME
because of the Shinsengumi's
smoking ban.
[12:43] MASTER GAME
The trip has been full of hardships.
[12:47] MATSUDAIRA
Well, we'll explore all of
that a week from today.
[12:49] MATSUDAIRA
All of Edo will assist in helping
implement the smoking ban.
[12:55] MASTER GAME
But finally he heads off into the universe.
[12:59] HIJIKATA
To smoke some cigarettes!
[13:03] MASTER GAME
However, when he arrives
on Planet Hamek,
[13:06] MASTER GAME
he finds it was turned into a
scorched field by Breeza.
[13:21] DELDE
Da...Dad!
[13:23] ---
Dad!
[13:27] GAME
The young boy Delde's tears...
[13:30] GAME
Hijikata channels his anger into power
and he heads toward the final battle.
[13:36] HIJIKATA
Hey! Why am I suddenly having flashbacks
of the previous episode?
[13:38] HIJIKATA
This isn't Dragon BLEEP!
[13:39] HIJIKATA
It's taking too long! I'm in a hurry!
Let's get to the main episode now!
[13:53] BREEZA
I never suspected that
you were against me.
[13:57] BREEZA
But I admire your rashness.
[14:04] BREEZA
But when you see my power, I wonder
if you'll still have the same attitude.
[14:12] BREEZA
Well, I'll show you.
[14:15] ---
My full power!
[14:38] BREEZA
How about that? You look like
you're scared speechless.
[14:47] BREEZA
Get ready for it.
[14:50] ---
Here I come.
[14:57] HIJIKATA
Hey, give me a cigarette.
[14:59] HIJIKATA
I know you have some.
[15:00] HIJIKATA
You destroyed Planet Hamek,
didn't you? Where are they?
[15:04] BREEZA
I, Breeza-sama, was knocked down
by a monkey like you.
[15:08] BREEZA
It can't be...you're a legendary
Super Earthling.
SIGN [Note: Parody of Super Saiyan from Dragon Ball.]
[15:11] HIJIKATA
Shut up, already. Just
give me a cigarette.
[15:13] HIJIKATA
I'm grumpy now thanks
to nicotine withdraw.
[15:16] BREEZA
You're the Super Earthling
who woke up irritated.
[15:20] BREEZA
Don't tell me you're the
son of that Earthling
[15:23] BREEZA
who was the only one to
challenge me back then?
[15:26] HIJIKATA
Huh, who's this? I don't
look nothing like him.
[15:28] HIJIKATA
You're totally wrong.
[15:30] BREEZA
Can it be that you're searching
for the same thing I was?
[15:34] HIJIKATA
Huh?
[15:35] BREEZA
Whatever. I praise you for defeating me,
[15:38] BREEZA
the emperor of the universe,
so I will give you this.
[15:41] BREEZA
Here, take it.
[15:43] HIJIKATA
That's not what I asked for!
[15:44] HIJIKATA
I said, give me some cigarettes!
[15:46] HIJIKATA
What's this ball? It's so disgusting!
[15:49] BREEZA
It's an Ooey-gooey ball.
SIGN [Note: Parody of Dragon Ball from Dragon Ball.]
[15:51] BREEZA
When you collect all seven of those balls,
[15:53] BREEZA
the Ooey-gooey dragon will appear
[15:54] BREEZA
and make everything you want
turn Ooey-gooey.
[15:57] BREEZA
It's a really mysterious ball.
[15:58] HIJIKATA
Why Ooey-gooey? I think
you're lying to me!
[16:02] BREEZA
If there's anything you
want but can't find,
[16:05] BREEZA
you should collect six more balls
and have your wishes granted.
[16:10] HIJIKATA
Hey! Why are you making that kind
of face made by the super villain
[16:14] HIJIKATA
right before he dies in the big scene
at the end of the episode?
[16:16] ---
Anyway, why do I have to do all
of this just to get a cigarette?!
[16:20] HIJIKATA
Give me a break.
[16:22] HIJIKATA
It'll be a lot faster if I just
go to another planet
[16:24] HIJIKATA
and buy a pack of cigarettes
at a vending machine.
[16:26] HIJIKATA
That's right. I should've done
that earlier. I'll go do that.
[16:32] KOBAYASHI
Grillin! Open your eyes, Grillin!
SIGN [Note: Parody of Krillin & Goku from Dragon Ball.]
[16:35] KOBAYASHI
Damn it! If only I had
all the Ooey-gooey balls!
[16:40] KOBAYASHI
Grillin!
[16:45] PASSENGER
...Hey, what are you doing?
[16:49] HIJIKATA
I'm trying to revive Grillin.
[16:52] PASSENGER
Who the heck is Grillin?!
[16:54] PASSENGER
You came to smoke some
cigarettes, right?
[16:55] PASSENGER
And who's that sitting right next to you?!
[16:57] KOBAYASHI
Yo! I'm Kobayashi! I'm so excited!
SIGN [Note: Parody of Goku and Yamcha from Dragon Ball.]
[17:00] PASSENGER
Kobayashi?! I'm not excited
about that name at all!
[17:02] PASSENGER
You're Bulma's ex-boyfriend,
aren't you?
SIGN [Note: Refers to Bulma from Dragon Ball. She dated Yamcha in the series.]
[17:04] HIJIKATA
Shut up!
[17:06] HIJIKATA
You know, Grillin might
have some cigarettes!
[17:10] HIJIKATA
I'll definitely smoke next time, damn it!
[17:17] CELO
I'm Celo!
SIGN [Note: Parody of Cell from Dragon Ball.]
[17:20] HIJIKATA
That's enough! You're so persistent.
[17:22] HIJIKATA
I know it's going to take a long time.
[17:23] HIJIKATA
I get bored easy. Hey, just give me
some balls. You have some, right?
[17:29] CELO
Why? Why does he have
so much power?
[17:31] HIJIKATA
Shut up!
[17:32] HIJIKATA
Hurry up and give me some balls so I can
revive Grillin and smoke a cigarette.
[17:36] CELO
I can't believe I lost after taking
cells from the Super Earthling...
[17:41] HIJIKATA
Who is this guy? What's with the
scouter rip-off? It pisses me off!
SIGN [Note: Parody of the scouter device from Dragon Ball.]
[17:46] CELO
You defeated me, the perfect form, after
I took in every cell and powered up.
[17:52] CELO
Your attack deserves to be rewarded.
[17:56] CELO
As you wish, I'll give you my balls.
[18:03] CELO
Take these.
[18:04] HIJIKATA
You hid these in there?!
They're disgusting and dirty!
[18:09] CELO
Use these balls to summon the dragon
and make a wish for me.
[18:16] CELO
My wish is
[18:18] ---
"To graduate from being a virgin..."
[18:21] HIJIKATA
Why are you making it sound like
I'm helping you grant your wish?!
[18:24] HIJIKATA
And why did you make
such a useless wish?!
[18:28] HIJIKATA
Anyway, now that I've collected
all seven balls.
[18:31] HIJIKATA
Hurry up and revive Grillin
so I can smoke a cigarette!
[18:34] KOBAYASHI
What's this? Can I eat this?
[18:36] HIJIKATA
There's no way you can eat that disgusting
thing! What about Grillin?
[18:41] KOBAYASHI
Oh, that's right!
[18:42] HIJIKATA
Hurry up and summon the dragon
so it can revive Grillin!
[18:46] HIJIKATA/KOBAYASHI
Come out Ooey-gooey Dragon!
Please make my wish come true!
[18:53] HIJIKATA
...Huh?
[18:54] HIJIKATA
Nothing happened. There're seven
balls all together. What's going on?
[19:00] KOBAYASHI
Oh? Taking a closer look, this one
isn't an Ooey-gooey ball at all!
[19:03] HIJIKATA
What?
[19:04] KOBAYASHI
The other six balls are real Ooey-gooey
balls. But this one is...
[19:10] KOBAYASHI
...a Sticky-icky ball!
[19:11] HIJIKATA
It's pretty much the same!
[19:13] HIJIKATA
What's the difference between
that and an Ooey-gooey ball?!
[19:15] KOBAYASHI
Yo. It's a Sticky-icky ball!
[19:17] HIJIKATA
That's just a technicality!
[19:21] HIJIKATA
See?! Something is coming out!
[19:23] HIJIKATA
They're all Ooey-gooey balls, after all.
[19:34] NUMELON
Great job in collecting all
the Slimy-grimy balls.
[19:37] HIJIKATA
It's not Ooey-gooey, nor Sticky-icky!
[19:40] HIJIKATA
That's the least of our problems.
Hey, hurry up and save Grillin.
[19:44] KOBAYASHI
I see. It's not Ooey-gooey.
Then I don't care.
[19:47] HIJIKATA
Why?! How much loyalty do
you have for Ooey-gooey?!
[19:51] HIJIKATA
How badly do you want to
make Grillin Ooey-gooey?!
[19:53] HIJIKATA
Just ask him! It doesn't matter
if he's Slimy-grimy!
[19:57] HIJIKATA
He's your friend, right?
[19:58] KOBAYASHI
If it's Slimy-grimy, I prefer
something else.
[20:00] HIJIKATA
What do you mean, something else?
[20:06] KOBAYASHI
Give me some gal's panties!
SIGN [Note: A famous line from Dragon Ball when they first met Shen Long, the dragon.]
[20:08] HIJIKATA
Hey!
[20:09] HIJIKATA
A gal's Slimy-grimy panties?!
[20:12] HIJIKATA
That's such a gross wish!
[20:14] HIJIKATA
Don't request a pair of dirty panties
and give up your friend!
[20:17] ---
Never mind! Forget it!
[20:19] NUMELON
Hurry up. Or the Slimy-grimy will dry up.
[20:24] HIJIKATA
Wait! Hold on a second!
[20:26] HIJIKATA
If I have a Slimy-grimy cigarette,
I can't smoke it.
[20:29] HIJIKATA
What should I wish for?
[20:31] NUMELON
I'm about to dry up!
[20:36] HIJIKATA
I know!
[20:38] HIJIKATA
I'll get the last one.
[20:48] MINISTER
You're...
[20:51] MINISTER
Why are you here again?
[20:53] HIJIKATA
I've changed my mind...
I want the last cigarette.
[21:01] HIJIKATA
I know that's an important memento
from your dad. But...
[21:07] HIJIKATA
...you don't need a memento anymore
if you have your dad back.
[21:13] DELDE
Don't tell me... Da...
[21:17] HIJIKATA
Yeah. It's your dad.
[21:21] DELDE
Whose dad is he?!
[21:22] ---
What's with this Ooey-gooey?!
[21:24] HIJIKATA
No, it's not Ooey-gooey, it's Slimy-grimy!
[21:26] MINISTER
There's a limit to disgracing the dead!
[21:29] HIJIKATA
No, it's true. Even if it's
Slimy-grimy, he's real...
[21:38] PASSENGER
It's you again.
[21:41] PASSENGER
Were you able to smoke
a cigarette, after all?
[21:42] PASSENGER
Where will you go next?
[21:46] HIJIKATA
I've decided...
[21:50] HIJIKATA
...to quit smoking.
[23:28] MASTER GAME
After Hijikata returned to earth,
[23:30] MASTER GAME
he wasn't able to give
up smoking, after all.
[23:34] MASTER GAME
In order to get the legendary cigarette,
Hijikata works hard at training.
[23:41] MASTER GAME
And a new powerful enemy appears before him.
[23:45] MASTER GAME
Next episode will be Ooey-gooey
ball, episode 120.
[23:48] HIJIKATA
Cut it out! This can't be right!
[23:51] KOBAYASHI
Everyone! Please watch it!
SIGN [Note: Parody of next week remark from Dragon Ball.]
[23:53] HIJIKATA
I said, shut up!
[23:54] ---
Huh?
SIGN Deadline <3
[23:55] ---
Wait, the gorilla is still
sleeping instead of brainstorming?
[23:59] ---
Excuse me!
[24:00] ---
Didn't you miss your deadline?
[24:03] ---
Hey!
E256.C - Gintama Classic - Life is a Test
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:30] YAMAZAKI
Umm, excuse me.
[01:32] ANTIFOREIGNER FACTIONMEMBER B
Wh-Who are you?!
[01:33] YAMAZAKI
H-Hold on a second. I'm not suspicious.
[01:37] ANTIFOREIGNER FACTIONMEMBER B
Who are you?! Give us your name!!
[01:38] YAMAZAKI
Umm... I see that you have a sword at your
side when there's a ban on swords...
[01:42] YAMAZAKI
I assume that you are Anti-Foreigner
Faction members.
[01:46] ANTIFOREIGNER FACTIONMEMBER B
What do you want?!
[01:47] YAMAZAKI
Please...
[01:48] YAMAZAKI
Would you...
[01:50] YAMAZAKI
Would you let me join the ranks
of the Anti-Foreigner Faction?
SIGN ["Life is a Test"]
[02:01] YAMAZAKI (mono)
This is the most dangerous
part of my job as a spy.
[02:04] YAMAZAKI (mono)
It's called undercover investigations.
[02:07] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I sneak into the ranks of the enemy and
leak secret information to my allies.
[02:11] YAMAZAKI (mono)
The rewards are huge, but so is the risk.
[02:14] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Therefore, only the most skilled
spies take on these missions.
[02:20] YAMAZAKI (mono)
You must be skilled enough to
mask your true feelings while
[02:23] YAMAZAKI (mono)
risking your life when faced with the danger
of being discovered by the enemy.
[02:25] ---
And you can't make a single mistake
when in enemy territory.
[02:29] YAMAZAKI (mono)
You need finesse to perform your job
with precision in extreme situations.
[02:33] ---
And...
[02:34] YAMAZAKI (mono)
You need to be extremely bland in
order to blend in with everything.
[02:37] ---
The person in the Shinsengumi
[02:39] ---
who has all of these traits is none
other than I, Sagaru Yamazaki.
[02:43] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I never expected Anti-Foreigner Faction
members to be hiding in a town like this.
[02:48] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Akiba Neo, the underground city.
SIGN [Note: Parody of Akihabara.]
[02:50] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Called a holy land by otaku, it's Edo's
most famous mechanical district.
[02:53] YAMAZAKI (mono)
The town is like a maze. It's indeed
a perfect place for hiding out.
[03:04] YAMAZAKI (mono)
The Unstoppable Kotaro Katsura.
[03:07] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I have to get close to him. Find
out where his officials are...
[03:11] YAMAZAKI (mono)
And round up all of the Anti-Foreigner
Faction members.
[03:14] KATSURA
I see. I understand.
[03:20] KATSURA
All right. Let's begin the interview.
[03:24] YAMAZAKI
Huh?
[03:25] KATSURA
Give me your resume.
[03:27] YAMAZAKI
Huh? Umm... I can't join the Anti-Foreigner
Faction without passing an interview?
[03:32] KATSURA
It's a precaution against spies.
[03:34] KATSURA
I can't fight and leave my back open to
someone with a suspicious background.
[03:38] YAMAZAKI (mono)
What is this?
[03:40] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Why do I need to take an interview to partake
in Anti-Foreigner Faction activities?
[03:42] YAMAZAKI
S-Sorry... I forgot my resume.
[03:46] ---
But I am more concerned about
my country than anyone else.
[03:50] KATSURA
I don't care about that.
Just give me your resume.
[03:59] ---
Let me give this to you straight.
[04:02] ---
Don't you have any common sense?
[04:04] ---
When you go job hunting, you usually
bring a resume with you.
[04:08] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Job hunting? I'm job hunting?!
[04:11] KATSURA
You're supposed to come in a suit.
[04:14] KATSURA
What did you come here for?
[04:16] KATSURA
I'm not the only one who will tell you this.
[04:19] ---
Just to let you know, any company
will say the same thing.
[04:22] YAMAZAKI (mono)
You're not a company!
[04:24] KATSURA
Also, you sat down before I told you to.
[04:29] KATSURA
Usually, you sit after your
interviewer tells you to sit.
[04:33] YAMAZAKI
S-Sorry...
[04:35] KATSURA
All businesses want people
who have common sense.
[04:40] KATSURA
We say that a person's education
decides his worth...
[04:42] KATSURA
But anyone can learn their
job while they're doing it.
[04:47] MAID
Master, welcome back.
[04:49] KATSURA
I'm not "master." I'm Katsura.
[04:51] MAID
If you pay a special fee, you
can have fun with the maids.
[04:55] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I don't need you of all
people to tell me that!!
[04:57] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Why do I have to be lectured
by someone who
[04:59] YAMAZAKI (mono)
holds an interview in a maid cafe?!
[05:01] KATSURA
Well, anyway, even though we're
Anti-Foreigner Faction members,
[05:02] MAID
Jankenpon.
[05:04] KATSURA
we need common sense.
[05:04] ---
Aikodesho, sho, sho, sho.
[05:05] ---
Revolutionaries destroy
the existing norms.
[05:08] ---
And because of that, revolutionaries need
to understand what's common and normal.
[05:09] ---
I win!!
[05:10] ---
Turn that way!
[05:14] KATSURA
Keep that in mind if you want to become
an Anti-Foreigner Faction member.
[05:18] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Huh? I thought I was going to fail,
[05:21] YAMAZAKI (mono)
but this looks kind of good, doesn't it?
[05:23] MAID
Jankenpon.
[05:23] KATAURA
Well, the interview is over.
Hey, take him.
[05:25] ---
Aikodesho.
[05:27] MAID
Aikodesho, sho, sho, sho.
[05:27] YAMAZAKI (mono)
He said it was an interview, but did
he really just want to meet me?
[05:30] ANTIFOREIGNER FACTIONMEMBER A
Let's go.
[05:31] YAMAZAKI
Oh, yes.
[05:34] YAMAZAKI (mono)
That's right.
[05:35] MAID
Turn that way!
[05:35] YAMAZAKI (mono)
There's no way the Anti-Foreigner
Faction
[05:37] YAMAZAKI (mono)
would ever do anything weird
like have interviews.
[05:40] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I'm glad... I managed to infiltrate them.
SIGN [Anti-Foreigner Faction Employment Exam]
[05:48] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Why does the Anti-Foreigner Faction
have an entrance test?!
[05:50] YAMAZAKI (mono)
First an interview, and now a test?!
[05:53] YAMAZAKI (mono)
This is no different from
a regular business!
[05:55] YAMAZAKI (mono)
This is weird! This is definitely weird!!
[05:57] YAMAZAKI (mono)
This is bad.
[05:58] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I never expected it to be so difficult to become
an Anti-Foreigner Faction member.
[06:03] YAMAZAKI (mono)
What kind of questions do
they have on their test?!
[06:05] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I never studied for it!
[06:06] YAMAZAKI (mono)
What is everyone studying?!
[06:08] EXAM STUDENT A
Hey, did you prepare?
[06:11] EXAM STUDENT A
I'm in trouble. I didn't study at all.
I'm going to fail. This is bad.
[06:17] YAMAZAKI (mono)
This guy's bloodshot eyes
say otherwise.
[06:20] YAMAZAKI (mono)
There's always one faker in the class.
[06:22] EXAM STUDENT A
Oh...
[06:24] KATSURA
All right, quiet down.
[06:26] KATSURA
We're going to start the Anti-Foreigner
Faction employment exam.
[06:29] KATSURA
Put away your textbooks!
[06:31] YAMAZAKI (mono)
What textbooks?!
[06:33] KATSURA
It's too late to stuff anything
else into your head now!
[06:36] KATSURA
You're no match for those who have always
been doing the review exercises!
[06:39] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Review exercises? What
review exercises?!
[06:42] KATSURA
All right, take a look at this.
[06:44] KATSURA
I'm going to put the questions
up on the screen one by one.
[06:47] KATSURA
Everyone, use the panel in front
of you to answer each question.
[06:51] KATSURA
Afterwards, I will announce the answer.
[06:54] KATSURA
We have a proctor keeping watch
in the back, so try not to cheat.
[06:59] KATSURA
Everyone, please try your best.
[07:02] KATSURA
Let the test begin!
SIGN [Question 1 - Write down the correct reading of the following word: Shinsengumi]
[07:05] KATSURA
Question one. Write down the correct
reading of the following word.
[07:07] YAMAZAKI (mono)
What is this?! It's incredibly easy!! I see!
[07:12] KATSURA
Even though we're Anti-Foreigner Faction
members, we need common sense.
[07:15] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Even if it's a test, it's a question to see
how much common sense one has!
[07:19] ---
I haven't studied for this test, but
it looks like I can pass this.
SIGN [Shinsengumi]
[07:22] YAMAZAKI (mono)
The answer is "Shinsengumi"!
[07:24] KATSURA
All right, time's up. This is the answer.
SIGN [Scum]
[07:28] KATSURA
The answer is "scum."
[07:29] YAMAZAKI (mono)
On what planet is that common sense?!
[07:32] KATSURA
Well, this is common sense amongst
Anti-Foreigner Faction members.
[07:35] KATSURA
Other answers like "idiots," "trash," and
"lately intrusive" are also correct.
[07:39] EXAM STUDENT B
All right! I got it correct!
[07:41] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Is that what these guys usually call us?!
[07:44] EXAM STUDENT A
Tsk! A trick question.
SIGN [Shin (crossed out)] Maeragumi]
[07:45] YAMAZAKI (mono)
You got the question wrong, too!
[07:48] YAMAZAKI (mono)
What did you study all night?!
[07:50] YAMAZAKI (mono)
This is bad. I can't even get the correct
answer using common sense.
[07:53] ---
I need to answer the questions with the mindset
of an Anti-Foreigner Faction member.
SIGN [Question 2 - Write down the correct reading for the following word: Shogun]
[07:56] KATSURA
The second question. Write down the
correct reading for the following word.
SIGN [Shogun Shogun Shogun Shogun Shogun Shogun]
[08:00] YAMAZAKI (mono)
The normal answer would be "shogun."
[08:02] YAMAZAKI (mono)
But to the Anti-Foreigner Faction,
he is the boss of the enemy.
[08:06] ---
Which means...
SIGN [Smegma]
[08:07] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I'll get it right if I insult him.
SIGN [Correct Answer: Ken Matsudaira]
[08:09] KATSURA
The correct answer is Ken Matsudaira.
[08:11] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Why is there a kanji reading
for a kanji word?!
[08:14] KATSURA
Well, this is common sense
amongst faction members.
[08:17] KATSURA
"Roughneck," and "cooking
lover" are also correct.
SIGN [Note: "Roughneck" is "Abarenbo" in Japanese. Ken
Matsudaira is the star of the TV show Abarenbo Shogun.]
[08:20] EXAM STUDENT D
All right! I did it!!
[08:21] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Why are there people who got it correct?!
[08:23] ---
What kind of brains do they have?!
SIGN [Question 3 - Write down the following word in kanji: Jackie Chan]
[08:25] KATSURA
The third question. Write down
the following word in kanji.
[08:28] YAMAZAKI (mono)
This doesn't have anything to do with
the Anti-Foreigner Faction anymore!
[08:30] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Jackie?! I don't know! This
is just plain unreasonable!
[08:32] KATSURA
The answer is "nose."
SIGN [Question 3 - Write down the following word in kanji: Jackie Chan] [Nose]
[08:34] YAMAZAKI (mono)
You just hate Jackie's nose!!
[08:37] KATSURA
Well, this is common sense
amongst faction members.
[08:40] KATSURA
"Chair" and "Ryo Saeba was pretty
painful" are also correct.
SIGN [Note: Jackie Chan played Ryo Saeba in the Hong Kong version of City Hunter.]
[08:43] YAMAZAKI (mono)
That last one was just your opinion!
Don't mention City Hunter!
[08:48] KATSURA
We've been doing Japanese until now.
[08:49] KATSURA
Starting with the next question,
we'll be doing math.
[08:51] YAMAZAKI (mono)
This is bad... I still haven't
got a single question right.
[08:55] KATSURA
Question number four.
[08:56] KATSURA
There are ten Shinsengumi members.
[08:58] KATSURA
Six Anti-Foreigner Faction members run
into them on the side of the road.
[09:01] KATSURA
The Shinsengumi attack, and three of the Anti-Foreigner
Faction members are killed.
[09:05] KATSURA
Unyielding, the Anti-Foreigner Faction members
kill two Shinsengumi members.
[09:09] KATSURA
Amidst the confusion of the battle,
[09:10] KATSURA
two more Shinsengumi
members are injured,
[09:13] KATSURA
but six more join them and two Anti-Foreigner
Faction members are killed.
[09:17] KATSURA
How many noses does Jackie have?
[09:20] YAMAZAKI (mono)
One, of course!!
[09:22] YAMAZAKI (mono)
How long are you going to
keep talking about Jackie?!
[09:24] YAMAZAKI (mono)
This has absolutely nothing
to do with the battle!!
[09:26] KATSURA
Umm... This question is incredibly
difficult, so I'll give you extra time.
[09:31] KATSURA
Think about it for an hour.
[09:33] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I don't need an hour!
[09:35] ---
No...wait! He's been giving us
deceptive answers until now.
[09:41] YAMAZAKI (mono)
What if Jackie was in this battle?!
[09:44] YAMAZAKI (mono)
What if Jackie's nose...
[09:47] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Was cut off in the battle?!
[09:48] KATSURA
The correct answer is "one."
[09:50] KATSURA
You there, be quiet.
[09:52] YAMAZAKI
Oh, sorry...
[09:54] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I was completely tricked!
[09:56] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I read into it too much and let a
question I could answer slip by!
[09:59] EXAM STUDENT A
Tsk! A trick question, huh?
[10:01] EXAM STUDENT A
That was close.
[10:02] YAMAZAKI (mono)
What exactly were you tricked by?!
[10:05] KATSURA
Umm... That's it for math.
[10:07] YAMAZAKI (mono)
This isn't math!
SIGN [Question 5 - Translate the following passage.]
[10:09] KATSURA
The next section is foreign language.
[10:11] ---
Question five. Translate
the following passage.
[10:14] YAMAZAKI (mono)
What language is this?!
I can't read it at all!!
[10:17] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Is this an alien language
from another planet?!
[10:19] ---
An illustration?! That's
it! That illustration!
[10:22] ---
That picture has got to represent
the contents of the passage!
[10:25] ---
I've got to rely on intuition and
this picture to translate it!
[10:28] YAMAZAKI (mono)
No matter how I look at this,
it's a picture of a battlefield.
[10:30] YAMAZAKI (mono)
One guy is about to die and the other
is listening to his last words.
[10:34] ---
There's no mistake...
[10:37] YAMAZAKI (mono)
He has something in his hand!
[10:38] YAMAZAKI (mono)
A letter? No, a photograph!
[10:54] SERGEANT
Never mind me... Hurry up
and run away, you maggot!
[10:58] PRIVATE (mono)
The Sergeant quickly grew
cold in my arms...
[11:03] PRIVATE (mono)
He was a drill sergeant who
was so terrifying and hateful.
[11:08] PRIVATE (mono)
But right now his face looked so kind.
[11:10] SERGEANT
Can't you follow your superior's
orders, you maggot?!
[11:13] SERGEANT
Maggot! Tell me you're
a maggot, you maggot!
[11:17] PRIVATE
Sergeant! I am a maggot!
[11:20] PRIVATE
I was abandoned by my
parents like a maggot!
[11:23] ---
No one will be sad if a
maggot like me dies!
[11:27] ---
Please let me do whatever I want!
[11:29] SERGEANT
What a coincidence, maggot!
[11:32] SERGEANT
When I took up arms, I also
discarded my family.
[11:35] SERGEANT
No one will grieve for me anymore.
But you're different...
[11:39] PRIVATE (mono)
After the Sergeant said this he slowly
took a blood-splattered photograph
[11:43] PRIVATE (mono)
out of his inner breast pocket.
[11:46] SERGEANT
You have someone who
will grieve for you.
[11:49] PRIVATE (mono)
It was a picture of when my mother
was still young and healthy.
[11:54] PRIVATE (mono)
By her side was the Sergeant.
He was holding a baby.
[11:59] SERGEANT
Tell me I'm a maggot...my son.
[12:04] PRIVATE
Instructor...
[12:06] ---
You're a maggot.
[12:08] ---
You're a maggot's precious...good-for-nothing
father!
[12:17] PRIVATE (mono)
The instructor smiled
and ceased moving.
[12:24] YAMAZAKI
All right. This should be good!
[12:27] KATSURA
Now, the correct answer...
[12:31] SERGEANT
Jackie's nose is big, isn't it?
[12:33] KATSURA
That's it.
[12:35] YAMAZAKI (mono)
It was a picture of Jackie?!
[12:37] YAMAZAKI (mono)
How long a passage do you need to
express how big Jackie's nose is?!
[12:43] EXAM STUDENT A
It was wrong but I was touched.
[12:46] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Don't look at my answer!
It's too embarrassing!
[12:50] KATSURA
The next question is the final
question in the written exam.
[12:53] YAMAZAKI (mono)
The last one already?! Most of the
questions were only about Jackie!
SIGN
[12:56] KATSURA
Write down the reason why you want to join
the Anti-Foreigner faction in Kamchatkan.
[13:00] EXAM STUDENTS
What?! Kamchatkan?!
[13:03] EXAM STUDENT B
This is impossible!! I can't write
in such a difficult language!
[13:07] KATSURA
This is a difficult question so
if you get this right, you pass.
[13:13] YAMAZAKI (mono)
It's over. I failed my mission.
[13:16] YAMAZAKI (mono)
The Vice-Chief is going
to be angry with me.
[13:17] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I'll just write anything...
[13:20] KATSURA
Umm... One person got it correct.
Examinee number 11!
[13:25] YAMAZAKI
Huh?
[13:25] EXAM STUDENTS
Wow!
[13:27] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I just wrote anything. Is this for real?!
[13:29] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Whatever the case, I can carry
out my mission! All right!
[13:34] YAMAZAKI
I did it!
[13:37] KATSURA
Umm... Since he got it correct,
let's take a look at his answer.
[13:39] KATSURA
When translated, it says, "I came here to
carry out an undercover investigation.
[13:44] KATSURA
I will send all you Anti-Foreigner
Faction members to hell."
[13:49] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Huh?
[13:57] CM BUMPERYAMAZAKI (mono)
What?!
[13:59] ---
Th-This is bad...
[14:01] YAMAZAKI (mono)
They discovered that I've come to
do an undercover investigation!
[14:03] YAMAZAKI (mono)
What's the meaning of this?!
[14:05] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Did they know who I was
from the beginning?!
[14:08] YAMAZAKI (mono)
U-Umm...
[14:12] KATSURA
Hmm... You wish to become a part of
our undercover investigation squad.
[14:14] KATSURA
Good job. Everyone, give
him a round of applause.
[14:17] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Huh?
[14:20] ---
They didn't find out who I was...
[14:23] ---
Thank goodness... Now I can...
[14:25] KATSURA
Those who have passed the written
exam will now take the final test.
[14:28] KATSURA
We will have a skills test.
[14:30] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Huh? Huh?
[14:32] KATSURA
You will take a skills test for
undercover investigation.
[14:36] ---
Undercover investigation is
one of the most difficult
[14:38] ---
of Anti-Foreigner Faction activities.
[14:40] ---
The enemy isn't stupid enough
to overlook spies.
[14:44] YAMAZAKI (mono)
There is an idiot right in front of me!!
[14:47] KATSURA
Even though it's a test, you
don't know what'll happen.
[14:50] KATSURA
So you will take the test
under supervison.
[14:53] ---
Captain Dragon!
[14:55] YAMAZAKI
Captain...Dragon?
[15:14] YAMAZAKI
U-Umm...
[15:15] DRAGON
Hello, I'm Captain Dragon.
[15:18] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Huh?
[15:18] DRAGON
You're going to be sneaking into the headquarters
of a certain organization with me.
[15:22] DRAGON
You'll pass if you can steal
a secret document.
[15:24] ---
Then you'll be a formal Anti-Foreigner
Faction member. Got that?
[15:28] YAMAZAKI
Well, anyway... You're one
of those, aren't you?
[15:30] YAMAZAKI
You're supposed to be him, aren't
you? You're a Jackie look-alike...
[15:33] DRAGON
I'm not Jackie. I'm Captain Dragon!
[15:36] YAMAZAKI
Your face is really close to mine.
[15:37] DRAGON
Let me ask you one thing.
[15:39] DRAGON
What is the one thing you must protect
[15:40] DRAGON
more than anything during an
undercover investigation?
[15:43] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Huh? Is this a test question?
[15:46] DRAGON
The answer is "your nose."
[15:47] YAMAZAKI
Your nose?
[15:48] DRAGON
That's right. Your nose!
[15:50] DRAGON
There are many vital spots
on the human body.
[15:53] DRAGON
Amateurs often guess that the testicles
are the most vulnerable spot,
[15:56] DRAGON
but this is wrong!
[15:57] DRAGON
The most vulnerable spot is the nose!!
[15:59] DRAGON
Got that?!
[16:02] KATSURA
The final test...
[16:05] KATSURA
Project Z will now begin!!
[16:17] YAMAZAKI (mono)
There it is. This was unexpectedly easy.
[16:19] YAMAZAKI
I did it! I've passed the skills test!
[16:26] KATSURA
What wonderful skills!
You've passed so far!
[16:29] KATSURA
But you're being tested until you get that secret
document safely to our headquarters!
[16:34] ---
Your excursion continues until you
greet the people back home!
[16:37] YAMAZAKI
Shh... Katsura-san, the enemy's
going to find us!
[16:39] ENEMY D
Hey, who was talking just now?!
[16:41] ENEMY E
We've got intruders!
[16:42] ENEMY F
They're in the secret documents room!
[16:43] YAMAZAKI
They discovered us!
[16:45] KATSURA
The enemy found you during a crucial
time. You're still too naïve.
[16:49] YAMAZAKI
They discovered us because of you!
[16:51] DRAGON
Let's run away! Follow
me, exam student!
[16:54] ENEMY G
Wait! They're over there!
[16:57] YAMAZAKI
Th-They followed us!
SIGN [Question: Choose the correct action to take in this situation.]
[16:59] KATSURA
Here's a question. Choose the correct
action to take in this situation.
[17:03] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Huh?! This is part of the test?!
[17:04] YAMAZAKI (mono)
The correct action? Our only
choice is to run away...
SIGN [Clock Tower]
[17:08] YAMAZAKI (mono)
A bicycle?
[17:09] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Nunchucks? A hanger?
A dirty soccer ball?
[17:13] YAMAZAKI (mono)
A clock tower?
[17:14] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I see! I have to use one of these objects!
[17:17] YAMAZAKI (mono)
More than anything, I should choose
to escape. In that case...
[17:20] YAMAZAKI (mono)
This is it!!
[17:22] KATSURA
This is the correct answer!!
[17:26] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Oh no! So that was the correct answer!
[17:44] YAMAZAKI
You fell?!
[17:45] KATSURA
The answer is, "We'll use that cut for the
outtakes during the ending credits."
SIGN [Note: Parody of a Hong Kong Kung-fu action movie.]
[17:50] YAMAZAKI
I can't use that!
[17:51] KATSURA
Let's go! We're going to shake them
off with a car chase. I'm good at that.
[17:54] ENEMY B
There they are. Stop!
[17:56] DRAGON
This is bad.
[18:05] YAMAZAKI
Why your nose?!
[18:06] YAMAZAKI
If you can protect your nose, you
should've protect your butt!
[18:07] KATSURA
Don't worry about us! We've overcome
danger like this many times.
[18:12] YAMAZAKI
You're just fools!
[18:18] YAMAZAKI
It's a dead end.
[18:19] ---
Crap!
[18:19] ENEMY H
There they are! They're over there!
[18:22] YAMAZAKI
Oh no! They're after us!
SIGN [Question: Choose the correct action to take in this situation.]
[18:23] KATSURA
Here's a question. Choose the correct
action to take in this situation.
[18:28] YAMAZAKI
You should take the correct
course of action!
[18:30] ---
Honestly...
[18:31] ---
We've got to fight!
[18:34] DRAGON
Wrong. The correct answer
is to call Fatgon.
SIGN [Note: Parody of "Enter The Fat Dragon" by Sammo Hung]
[18:38] ---
Fatgon!
[18:40] FATGON
What is it, Dragon?
[18:41] YAMAZAKI
Why Fatgon?! Why is he here?!
[18:43] KATSURA
If you called Un Pyao, you would
have gotten half a point.
SIGN [Note: Parody of Yuan Biao. Also a Hong Kong action star.]
[18:46] YAMAZAKI
Why would I do that?!
[18:48] YAMAZAKI
Anyway, we've got to
get away from here!
[18:50] KATSURA
I see! But I won't give you a point for that!
[18:53] YAMAZAKI
I don't need any!
[18:55] YAMAZAKI
Again?! Why is Edo filled
with dead ends?
[18:58] YAMAZAKI
What is the Shogunate doing?!
[19:00] KATSURA
That's a poignant Anti-Foreigner
Faction-like comment.
[19:02] KATSURA
I'll give you three points.
[19:03] YAMAZAKI
You're annoying!
[19:05] YAMAZAKI
This is the end of the line...
[19:07] KATSURA
Here's a question. What do you think
Fatgon should do in this situation?
SIGN [Question: What should Fatgon do in this situation?]
[19:11] YAMAZAKI
That has nothing to do with Jackie
anymore! He's Fatgon!
[19:16] FATGON
Sorry, Dragon, I don't want to die.
[19:19] DRAGON
I'm disappointed in you!
[19:21] DRAGON
You're no different from
when you were a thief!
[19:23] YAMAZAKI
I'm disappointed in you for trying
to get help from a thief!
[19:26] FATGON
We'll talk afterwards. Get them!
[19:31] DRAGON
Exam student, use your body to
protect the secret document!
[19:38] YAMAZAKI
You should protect more
than just your nose!
[19:41] ---
All right, now!
[19:43] KATSURA
Here's a question!
[19:44] DRAGON
Your comrade is being attacked!
[19:47] KATSURA
What should you do?!
[19:48] YAMAZAKI
Why don't you just ask me for help?!
[19:51] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Katsura is my enemy.
[19:53] YAMAZAKI (mono)
Captain Dragon is allied with
the Anti-Foreigner Faction.
[19:55] YAMAZAKI (mono)
In that case, there should be no
problem if I abandon them.
[19:59] ---
But this is an undercover mission.
[20:02] ---
A spy must become an Anti-Foreigner
Faction member in mind and body.
[20:06] ---
In that case...
[20:13] YAMAZAKI
Let's run away, Katsura-san,
Captain Dragon!
[20:18] KATSURA
An Anti-Foreigner Faction
member must sometimes
[20:22] KATSURA
be cold-hearted in order
to accomplish his goals.
[20:24] ---
You should have run away.
[20:27] ---
I can't give you any points for the test.
[20:31] DRAGON
But you pass as a human being.
[20:38] YAMAZAKI
Crap... We were almost there.
[20:41] DRAGON
It's still not over, yet.
We've still got more tricks!
[20:46] YAMAZAKI
That's a really cool thing to say,
but this is all to much...
[20:50] KATSURA
Here's a question.
[20:52] DRAGON
Your comrades can't help you and
you're surrounded by bad guys.
[20:56] KATSURA
Choose the correct course of action
in this hopeless situation.
[21:01] YAMAZAKI (mono)
I don't know... What should
I do in this situation?
[21:06] DRAGON
The correct answer is...
[21:07] KATSURA
To not give up!
[21:09] YAMAZAKI
But...
[21:10] DRAGON
Take the secret document and run away.
[21:12] YAMAZAKI
Huh? But what about you two?
[21:15] KATSURA
We'll...
[21:16] DRAGON
Protect...
[21:17] DRAGON
Our new comrade!!
[21:19] YAMAZAKI
Katsura-san!
[21:20] ---
Captain Dragon!
[21:22] KATSURA
Go! Get outta here!!
[21:26] DRAGON
Don't let our efforts go to waste!
[21:28] KATSURA
Go!
[21:32] ENEMY C
I won't let you!
[21:36] YAMAZAKI
Katsura-san, Captain Dragon, I'll
come back with reinforcements!
[21:42] ENEMY A
Don't let him get away!
[21:44] DRAGON
I won't let you!
[21:49] YAMAZAKI
I need to get help! I need
to find help right away!
[21:52] KAMAZAKI
Katsura-san and Captain Dragon are...
[22:01] YAMAZAKI
Huh? Huh?
[22:05] KATSURA
You did well. You passed magnificently.
[22:12] DRAGON
From today on, you're an Anti-Foreigner
Faction member!
[22:15] YAMAZAKI
Katsura-san, Captain Dragon...
[22:19] KATSURA
You dropped something...
SIGN [Shogunate Special Armed Police Shinsengumi Investigator Sagaru Yamazaki]
[22:24] YAMAZAKI
Huh?
[22:25] YAMAZAKI (mono)
What?!
SIGN Deadline...
[23:58] ---
Hey, gorilla.
[23:59] ---
Can you start working on the draft?
[24:02] ---
I'll give you some bananas.
SIGN Deadline...
[24:09] ---
E256.C - Gintama Classic - It Takes a Bit of Courage to Enter a Street Vendor's Stand
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN It's starting!
SIGN [Note: Written on Elizabeth's sign.
Parody of an MGM silent film.]
SIGN Elizabeth's first errand
SIGN Starring
SIGN Elizabeth
Kotaro Katsura
SIGN All the people in Edo
SIGN Katsura: Elizabeth, I need you to run an errand.
SIGN An errand?
SIGN Katsura: There's a sale on shampoo at the Oedo Mart.
SIGN Why me?
SIGN Katsura: I'm a wanted member of the Anti-Foreigner Faction, though I may not look the part.
SIGN Katsura: I can't go shopping at a supermarket in broad daylight...
SIGN You can keep the change.
SIGN Hostess Bar
Only 2000 yen!!
SIGN Hostess Bar Old Lady Paradise
SIGN Nakamura Restaurant
SIGN Flower Shop
SIGN Hemorrhoids. Your Worries
SIGN Katsura: Elizabeth isn't back yet...
SIGN Where's the Oedo Store again?
SIGN Where is the Oedo Store?
SIGN Michael: I can't read Japanese.
SIGN I'm trying to get to the Oedo Store.
SIGN Old Man: My eyes aren't too good.
SIGN Where is the Oedo Store located??
SIGN Pedro: How about you listen to my story instead?
SIGN Pedro: This weird kid showed up at my place again last night.
SIGN Pedro: They ring my doorbell and say...
SIGN 20 minutes later
SIGN Pedro: So yeah, this story doesn't really have a punch line or anything.
SIGN Where is the Oedo Store located?
SIGN Pedro: Huh? Oedo Store?
SIGN Pedro: Never heard of it.
SIGN Kagura: Elizabeth, what's up?
SIGN Big Sale
SIGN ...My spare sign...
SIGN is gone.
SIGN What do I do?
SIGN What do I do?!
[04:15] Elizabeth
Excuse me.
SIGN [Note: Voice by supervisor,
Shinji Takamatsu.]
[04:16] Elizabeth
Where's the Oedo Store?
SIGN Kagura: Over there.
SIGN Katsura: Oh!! What a relief, Elizabeth.
SIGN Katsura: This is...
SIGN conditioner.
SIGN Katsura: Unbelievable!! This is unbelievable!!
SIGN Katsura: I expected you to be a little more useful.
SIGN Katsura: What are you going to do if my long hair becomes all dry?!
SIGN Katsura: I don't want to end up with dandruff. I'll have a hard time leading my men if my head's covered with flakes.
SIGN Katsura: Everyone will be staring at the dandruff instead of listening to what I say. Ahh, I expected you to be a little more useful. A preschooler could run this errand for me. I saw it on TV the other day, and I almost cried. But no, look at you.
SIGN Whoohoo!
SIGN ["It Takes a Bit of Courage to
Enter a Street Vendor's Stand"]
SIGN
[07:07] Man
Welcome!
[07:09] Gin
Man, it's freezing today, old man.
[07:12] Man
It sure is.
[07:14] Man
It might snow soon.
[07:17] Man
They keep talking about global warming,
[07:19] Man
but Earth's only getting
warmer on the outside.
[07:23] Gin
Got that right.
SIGN [Note: "Warm action" refers to getting
some more money in his wallet.]
[07:24] Gin
When will I get some
warm action going on?
[07:28] Man
Warm yourself up with
some of this, big guy.
[07:31] Gin
Sorry, but I'm looking
for something sweeter.
[07:36] Man
Sweeter?
[07:37] Gin
Sorry, but could you mix a little
coffee milk or strawberry milk in there?
[07:41] Gin
Can you fix one up?
[07:43] Man
Absolutely, but you have
unique tastes, big guy.
[07:48] Gin
You know what they say.
[07:49] Gin
Something sweet helps
when you're exhausted.
[07:53] Man
That's right, big guy.
You look awfully tired.
[07:56] Man
And your hair's all white.
[07:58] Man
Did something happen?
[08:00] Gin
I was born this way.
[08:02] Man
If you've got something on your
mind, why not let it out here?
[08:07] Gin
Huh?
[08:07] Man
Men are vain creatures.
[08:10] Man
They never complain, whether
at work or at home.
[08:13] Man
Some things can only
be told to a stranger.
[08:16] Man
Men need a place like this.
[08:21] Gin
There really isn't
anything on my mind...
[08:25] Gin
Besides, the audience is watching.
[08:27] Man
Don't worry. This place protects
the privacy of its customers.
[08:32] Man
Like how they can't even see your face.
[08:35] Gin
Ah, I see.
[08:36] Man
Yeah.
[08:37] Man
It'll be like this the entire episode,
so nobody will know who you are.
[08:42] Man
Feel free to say anything.
[08:44] Gin
Ah, I see.
[08:45] Man
By the way, the practice here
[08:47] Man
is to pretend you don't recognize
each other if you're acquaintances.
[08:52] Man
First: Complain all you want.
[08:56] Man
Second: Come alone.
[08:58] Man
Third: Pretend you don't recognize
each other if you're acquaintances.
[09:02] Man
Fourth: Forget everything you hear
in this place and do not tell a soul.
[09:07] Man
A place where you can
feel free to complain.
[09:11] Man
That's what this stall is for.
[09:14] Man
Come on, big guy. Don't think too
much and just spill your guts today.
[09:20] Man
Brush off all the dirt
from this sad world
[09:22] ---
so you can feel refreshed
tomorrow, yeah?
[09:25] Man
Okay, coffee milk with shochu.
[09:27] Gin
Complain, you say?
[09:29] Gin
Actually, I'm complaining all the time,
so I don't really have anything...
[09:32] Hijikata
'Sup.
[09:33] Man
Hey, welcome!
[09:35] Man
Ah, sorry, big guy.
[09:36] Man
Could you slide over a bit?
[09:38] Man
Give this handsome samurai a seat.
[09:41] Hijikata
Ah, sorry.
[09:42] Gin
Not at all. Go ahead.
[09:45] Hijikata
Whew, I can finally warm myself up.
[09:48] Gin
It's freezing out there.
[09:49] Gin
Came out of nowhere, really.
[09:51] Gin
It wasn't this bad yesterday.
[09:54] Hijikata
Indeed.
[09:55] Hijikata
We're pretty much guaranteed
to have snow...
[10:01] Man
Eh? Why did the two of you
suddenly stop talking?
[10:07] Man
Don't tell me...
[10:11] Gin
Ah, no. It's nothing.
[10:14] Hijikata
Hey, pops.
[10:15] Hijikata
Give me hot sake.
[10:16] Hijikata
[Note: Fish cakes and tofu fritters
are popular items in an Oden hotpot.]
[10:16] Hijikata
And a fish cake, a tofu
fritter, and an egg.
[10:18] Man
Gotcha.
[10:18] Hijikata
And the usual...
[10:21] Man
Gotcha. Mayonnaise, right?
[10:25] Gin
Uh, do you come here often?
[10:28] Hijikata
Huh?
[10:29] Gin
Well, you just asked for the usual...
[10:32] Gin
Do you have a lot of complaining to do?
[10:35] Hijikata
Nah, only once in a while.
[10:37] Hijikata
Only been here two or three times, yeah.
[10:39] Man
You've been here at least fifty times.
[10:41] Hijikata
Uh, pops?
[10:42] Hijikata
Could you butt out? Please stop.
[10:44] Gin
Huh? You're here today
to complain again?
[10:46] Hijikata
No, I'm just here for a drink today.
[10:49] Man
Is it that gorilla boss of yours again?
[10:52] Hijikata
Pops, keep your mouth shut.
[10:54] Hijikata
Stop it!
[10:55] Gin
Huh, your boss is a gorilla?
[10:58] Gin
Sounds hard... No wonder
you want to complain.
[11:01] Hijikata
No, you've got it wrong.
[11:03] Hijikata
Though he's a gorilla.
[11:05] Hijikata
It's not like I'm badmouthing
him all the time.
[11:08] Man
That's right. Instead of badmouthing
him all the time, you just go...
[11:11] Man
"Die!" usually.
[11:14] Hijikata
Pops!
[11:15] Hijikata
Die!
[11:16] Hijikata
You die!
[11:17] Man
No, listen to me, big guy.
[11:19] Man
The mayo samurai's boss is
always pestering this woman.
[11:24] Man
And this guy has to clean
up afterwards every time.
[11:28] Gin
I see. That sounds rough.
[11:31] Gin
Sounds rough, but "Die!"
was a little shocking.
[11:34] Hijikata
No, when I say die...
[11:37] Hijikata
It's like a figure of speech...
[11:40] Hijikata
Like an expression of love...
[11:43] Hijikata
If I really wanted him to die,
I wouldn't tell him to die.
[11:49] Hijikata
Hey, you understand, right?
[11:51] Hijikata
Pops, raise the sign
again. One more time.
[11:56] Hijikata
You understand, right?
[11:58] Hijikata
Look carefully. Look carefully
at the fourth item!
[12:01] Hijikata
Stare long and hard!
[12:02] Gin
I got it. I got it. I got it.
[12:03] Gin
Don't worry. Don't worry.
[12:06] Hijikata
You understand, right?
[12:08] Hijikata
Hold on, big guy.
[12:09] Hijikata
Look carefully at the third item.
[12:10] Kondo
Hey, pops! I'm back!
[12:15] Man
Ah, Gori-san. It's been a long time.
[12:18] Man
What a troublemaker.
[12:19] Man
You're drunk already, aren't you?
[12:21] Kondo
Well, it was freezing out there today.
[12:24] Kondo
So I had a drink over there.
[12:26] Kondo
But now is when I get serious!
[12:28] Kondo
Oh, we've got ourselves a bunch
of complainers here today!
[12:31] Kondo
This looks fun!
[12:37] Kondo
Ah?
[12:38] Man
Eh? What's wrong, Gori-san,
Mayo Samurai-san?
[12:42] Man
You look pale.
[12:44] Man
Come on, what are you doing?
[12:45] Man
Slide over. Slide over.
[12:47] Man
Gori-san's got a big body,
so make plenty of room.
[12:51] Man
Well, we were just enjoying ourselves.
[12:55] Man
Listening to the mayo samurai's story.
[12:57] Hijikata
No, no, pops.
[12:58] Hijikata
Can't we drop that subject already?
[13:00] Hijikata
Can't we drop it already?
[13:01] Kondo
Huh? What? What story?
[13:03] Man
Fact is, this guy's boss is a gori-
[13:06] Hijikata
Ah! What?! Is that UFO?!
[13:09] Kondo
Uh, you realize that UFOs are flying
around all the time in this world.
[13:12] Man
And that gorilla's always
pestering this woman and
[13:15] ---
he thinks the gorilla should just die-
[13:17] Hijikata
Look!
[13:18] Hijikata
That's definitely a UFO!
[13:19] Hijikata
Hey, let's go check it out!
[13:22] Kondo
Heh...
[13:24] Kondo
That kinda sounds rough...
[13:27] Kondo
Your boss is a gorilla, huh?
[13:29] Kondo
What a coincidence.
[13:30] Kondo
I have the same nickname as that person.
[13:32] Man
Ah, that's right, Gori-san.
[13:36] Man
Huh?
[13:36] Man
Gori-san, are you crying?
[13:40] Kondo
I'm not!
[13:42] Kondo
Not at all! Just got
something in my eye!
[13:45] Kondo
I have allergies!
[13:46] Hijikata
Uh, can I leave now?
[13:49] Man
Eh?
[13:50] Hijikata
I'm feeling sick after
drinking too much.
[13:53] Man
Hold on, Mayo Samurai-san.
[13:56] Man
Listen to what Gori-san has to say.
[13:59] Man
This gorilla's completely
different from yours.
[14:02] Kondo
No, no, no, no, no! It's okay!
[14:04] Kondo
They don't need to hear my story!
[14:05] Man
This gorilla's in a relationship
with a hostess girl right now.
[14:10] Kondo
Ah, wait!
[14:11] Man
And this gorilla is always
watching over her as a bodyguard.
[14:16] Gin
Wow... That's impressive.
[14:17] Gin
He's her bodyguard...
[14:19] Gin
A bodyguard that hides
under eaves and stuff...
[14:22] Man
Great man, right?
[14:24] Man
You won't find anyone else
like this these days.
[14:26] Gin
You won't.
[14:27] Gin
You won't find a bodyguard like that.
[14:29] Gin
That wouldn't be called a bodyguard.
[14:31] Man
But even after everything
Gori-san has done,
[14:35] ---
this woman hasn't let him do...
[14:37] Kondo
Ah! Isn't that Kazuo Umezu?!
SIGN [Note: Kazuo Umezu is considered the
godfather of Japanese horror manga.]
[14:40] Man
He's going as a customer,
so you'd think she could
[14:43] ---
show her appreciation by letting him...
[14:45] Kondo
Look!
[14:46] Kondo
That has to be Kazuo Umezu!
[14:48] Kondo
Let's all go and do
the famous hand sign!
SIGN [Note: "Guwashi!" is a handsign used in
the manga "Makoto-chan" by Kazuo Umezu.]
[14:50] Man
Don't you find this woman pathetic?
[14:53] Man
She's a terrible match
for Gori-san here.
[14:57] Man
I keep telling him to break up with her,
[15:01] Man
but he's such a nice guy.
[15:03] Tae
Good evening.
[15:04] Man
Ah, welcome, Pony-chan.
SIGN [Note: Nicknamed that
after her ponytail.]
[15:08] Man
Er? Do you have the night off?
[15:10] Tae
Yes, I was just stopping by
on my way back from shopping.
[15:13] Tae
Um, I made too many omelets,
[15:17] Tae
so I thought I might offer my
appreciation for imposing all the time.
[15:19] Man
Ah, ah...
[15:21] Man
Thanks as always, Pony-chan...
[15:28] Tae
Um...
[15:28] Man
Ah! Have a seat. Have a seat.
[15:31] Man
Come on, men!
[15:32] Man
Slide over!
[15:33] Man
We've finally got a woman here.
[15:38] Man
Did you hear what we were
talking about, Pony-chan?
[15:41] Tae
No, I didn't hear a thing.
[15:42] Man
Ah, isn't that great, Gori-san?
[15:44] Man
You didn't lose your chance.
[15:46] Man
Why not switch over to this lady?
[15:48] Man
She's a good girl.
[15:52] Man
Huh?
[15:53] Man
What's wrong, everyone?
[15:55] Man
You're all pale as ghosts.
[15:58] Man
Gori-san...
[15:59] Man
Huh?
[16:00] Man
Gori-san's foaming at the mouth.
[16:02] Tae
My, I wonder what's wrong.
[16:04] Tae
Are you okay?
[16:05] Man
Huh? Something's growing
out of his back?
[16:08] Tae
Onion? It's a green onion.
[16:10] Man
Green onion growing from his back...
[16:12] Man
Or no, more than growing,
it's burrowing in!
[16:16] Hijikata
Gori-san!
[16:17] Man
This is terrible!
[16:19] Tae
It must be a phantom killer.
[16:20] Tae
The work of a phantom killer.
[16:22] Tae
How terrifying...
[16:23] Hijikata
I've never heard of a killer that
stabs people with green onions!
[16:26] Gin
This must be the work of a real monster.
[16:29] Gin
To harden a sprig of green onion to such
a degree and stab without being noticed...
[16:33] Gin
They must be an enhancer
type of nen power.
SIGN
[16:36] Man
I should probably close up soon.
[16:39] Tae
Don't worry.
[16:41] Tae
The target's been
eliminated, so the killer
[16:43] ---
won't return to the scene of the crime.
[16:45] Tae
Come, let's drink.
[16:47] Hijikata
Pops, I'm taking Gori-san
to the hospital!
[16:49] Hijikata
I'm off then!
[16:51] Man
Sorry about this, Mayo Samurai-san.
[16:53] Gin
Hey! Wait!
[16:55] Gin
You're going to leave me alone here?!
[16:56] Gin
Leave me alone in a cage
with an enraged monster?!
[17:00] Tae
What are you talking about?
[17:02] Gin
N-No, I was worried about Gori-san,
[17:05] ---
so I was thinking about tagging along...
[17:07] Tae
But they're already gone.
[17:09] Gin
That was fast!
[17:10] Gin
All the way over there in no time!
[17:12] Tae
Just forget about it.
[17:14] Tae
Why not have a drink with me?
[17:17] Man
Oh, Pony-chan?
[17:19] Man
You prefer this guy over Gori-san?
[17:23] Tae
I'll pour the sake for you.
[17:25] Man
That's nice. Quite a pretty picture.
[17:27] Man
You two look great together.
[17:32] Gin
You think?
[17:33] Tae
Do you come to this place often?
[17:36] Gin
No, this is my first time here.
[17:39] Gin
Uh, does P-Pony-ch...
[17:41] Gin
Does Pony-sama come
here to complain often?
[17:45] Man
It's been this long I'd say.
[17:46] Gin
Ah, five times.
[17:48] Gin
That's more than what I was expecting...
[17:50] Man
She's been coming here for five years.
[17:52] Gin
Holy cow!
[17:53] Gin
How much pent-up hate does she have?!
[17:55] Gin
How much complaining has she done?!
[17:58] Man
The first time was when she came along
[17:59] ---
with her late father long ago,
[18:01] ---
who often came here to complain.
[18:05] Gin
A bona-fide whinery!
[18:07] Gin
A whinery specialist!
[18:08] Man
She's been through a lot, though
she may not look that way.
[18:11] Man
She lost her parents when she was young
[18:13] Man
and she's watched over her little
brother by herself this whole time.
[18:17] Man
That little brother is the problem.
[18:20] Man
Most of her complaining these days
is about that little brother.
[18:23] Gin
Ah, he must be an undependable
little brother.
[18:27] Gin
I can already picture it.
[18:29] Gin
Glasses and that whole package.
[18:31] Man
Oh, the problem isn't with her brother
[18:33] ---
but with the people around him.
[18:36] Man
Her brother seems to have
joined a bad bunch of people.
[18:39] Man
Pony-chan, what was it about
that permanently white-haired,
[18:42] ---
always broke, and irresponsible...
[18:44] Tae
Smegma Samurai.
[18:46] Man
Ah, that's it.
[18:47] Man
Smeggy Sammy.
[18:48] Gin
Uh, is there really a
need to abbreviate it?
[18:50] Gin
Isn't that a little too cruel?
[18:52] Man
Her brother's gotten
weird ever since he
[18:56] ---
started working for Smeggy Sammy.
[18:59] Man
Tissues all over the place in his room.
[19:03] Man
Washing his underwear by
himself in the morning.
[19:06] Man
He didn't used to be that way.
[19:09] Gin
That's got nothing to
do with Smeggy Sammy.
[19:11] Gin
That's a part of nature.
[19:13] Tae
Oh? Really?
[19:14] Tae
What kind of nature would this be?
[19:16] Gin
Well, I'm sure that Smeggy Sammy
is working hard in his own way.
[19:20] Gin
The fact that the brother follows
him when he has no money
[19:23] Gin
shows how much he cares
for the brother...
[19:26] Tae
What could you possibly
know about Smeggy Sammy?
[19:28] Gin
I know more than you do!
[19:30] Gin
I understand Smeggy Sammy 100%!
[19:33] Man
Well, she keeps complaining
about how she can't
[19:36] ---
do anything about Smeggy Sammy these days.
[19:39] Man
Well, it might be considered
plotting instead of complaining.
[19:42] Gin
What do you mean by plotting?
[19:44] Gin
That sounds really scary...
[19:46] Man
Well, he seems to be very skillful,
[19:49] ---
so she has to create her own opening.
[19:51] Man
Like letting him drink until
he's completely smashed.
[19:54] Gin
Hey!
[19:55] Gin
What are you two plotting?!
[19:56] Gin
What are you going to
do to Smeggy Sammy?!
[19:58] Tae
Oh, the green onion I bought is gone.
[20:01] Tae
Excuse me, I need to go buy another one.
[20:04] Gin
She just went to procure a weapon!
[20:06] Gin
It was her!
[20:08] Gin
She's going to leave a green onion
sticking out of Smeggy Sammy's back!
[20:11] Gin
O-Old man, I just remembered
something I have to take care of.
[20:14] Gin
I'll leave the money here.
[20:15] Man
Ah, hold on, big guy.
[20:18] ---
What?
[20:19] Man
I have something to tell you.
[20:22] Man
I've been listening to people
complain for decades.
[20:25] Man
I've heard thousands, tens
of thousands of complaints.
[20:30] Man
Badmouthing people, problems at
work, stuff that gets you down.
[20:34] Man
But I was able to bear
it all for decades.
[20:40] Man
That's because there's love
behind every complaint.
[20:43] Man
Why won't things go my way when
I'm working so hard at my job?
[20:48] Man
That's how it was with
those other guys, right?
[20:50] Man
Complaints are just an expression of
love when something doesn't go your way.
[20:56] Man
Like a form of bragging.
[21:00] Man
You should understand what
I'm trying to say, big guy.
[21:03] Man
No, Smegma Samurai.
[21:06] Man
Take good care of Pony-chan.
[21:15] Tae
Oh? He already closed.
[21:18] Gin
Y-Yeah, something came up.
[21:23] Tae
I see.
[21:26] Gin
Wanna get a drink?
[21:28] Tae
Huh?
[21:29] Gin
I'm saying that if you still
wanna drink, I'll tag along.
[21:34] Tae
Are you sure?
[21:39] Tae
You may have to listen to
my complaints until morning.
[21:45] Gin
That's fine.
[21:54] Gin
Since I understand the true
meaning of a complaint.
[22:02] Kondo
Wait!
[22:03] Kondo
I won't forgive you for
holding hands with Pony-chan!
[22:06] Hijikata
Gori-san! Don't force yourself!
[22:08] Hijikata
The green onion's still in your back!
[22:17] Gin
Who was that?
[22:18] ---
SIGN The second movie will be released in 2013!!
Sorachi Hideaki will be writing a completely new story
[23:51] ---
The second movie will
be released in 2013.
SIGN DEADLINE!!
[23:54] ---
Hey, gorilla!
[23:55] ---
Stop celebrating about the
bananas you got last week!
[23:57] ---
If you don't get to work,
the movie's going to have
[23:59] ---
to have a bunch of cheap
live action segments too!
[24:01] ---
They'll have Mogi Kenichiro
playing Gin-san!
[24:03] ---
Ew, that stinks!
E256.5 - Gintama Classic - Definitely Do Not Let Your Girlfriend See The Things You Use For Cross-dressing / There's Almost a 100% Chance You’ll Forget Your Umbrella and Hate Yourself For It
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Sora
-
SIGN -
[01:32] SHINPACHI
We're doing this to earn back payments
on our rent, Gin-san.
[01:36] GINTOKI
It's not Gin-san. I'm Pako right now.
[01:38] GINTOKI
Today, I forget all about the pride of being a man
and the thing that hangs between my legs.
[01:41] SAIGO
Hey, you two aren't smiling. Smile!
[01:45] BANEKO
That's right. Right now you guys are...
[01:47] WAKAME
...splendid butterflies
dancing in the night.
[01:49] AGOMI
This special dancing team...
[01:51] SAIGO
You're a member of Kamaxile!
SIGN [A parody of Exile, a 14-member Japanese pop music band. And "Kama," short for "okama" (drag queen).]
[01:54] DRUNK
Hey! Dance better!
[01:56] GINTOKI
You shut up! I'll kill you, Baldy!
[01:58] BANEKO
Hey, you, he's our customer!
SIGN ["Definitely Do Not Let Your Girlfriend See The Things You Use For Cross-dressing"]
SIGN [GIRLY BOY CLUB]
SIGN [PAYMENT]
[02:08] SIAGO
Here's the payment for
both Pako and Pachie.
[02:12] SHINPACHI
Thank you very much.
[02:14] SAIGO
You were a mess, but thank you for helping
us out when we were short on staff.
[02:18] BANEKO
You can officially join KAMAXILE and
be a real member if you'd like.
[02:23] GINTOKI
Shut up. Who would wanna
join your toad-ugly group?!
[02:27] BANEKO
Hey, that's so rude of you!
Who's an ugly toad?
[02:29] BANEKO
We know we're beautiful, so
stop being jealous, already!
[02:32] WAKAME
That's right! He's jealous
of us! He's envious!
[02:34] GINTOKI
Hey, you guys, it's too late to think positively
after you look in the mirror.
[02:38] BANEKO/WAKAME
What?!
[02:41] AGOMI
Good work today.
[02:42] SHINPACHI
Ah, Agomi-san.
[02:44] AGOMI
It's not Agomi. My name is Azumi.
[02:49] SHINPACHI
For some reason, she seems depressed.
[02:50] WAKAME
She's been like that lately.
[02:52] BANEKO
She's all right at work, but right after
she finishes, she gets like that.
[02:56] GINTOKI
Ah, I guess all her energy
goes right to her chin.
[02:59] WAKAME/BANEKO
Maybe so.
[03:04] WAKAME
Get home safe.
[03:06] SHINPACHI
Have a nice night.
[03:08] GINTOKI
There's no scarier place than that.
[03:11] KAGURA
That's true. It's like "Scary
Face Safari Park."
[03:14] AGOMI
Hey, wait!
[03:16] SHINPACHI
Agomi-san.
[03:17] AGOMI
My name is Azumi.
[03:19] AGOMI
I have something to ask you, Odd Jobs.
SIGN [RAMEN DAIGAKUIN]
[03:25] AGOMI
...It was two weeks ago...
[03:27] AGOMI
As usual, I stopped by my favorite
ramen shop after work.
[03:32] WAITER
Here's your boiling stone
bowl ramen special!
[03:36] AGOMI
Wow! It looks so yummy!
[03:38] AGOMI
Let's eat!
[03:44] AGOMI
It's hot!!
[03:46] AGOMI
Owwww!
[03:54] JUROTA
Are you...all right?
[03:57] ---
At that moment, I realized it.
[04:02] AGOMI
That's right.
[04:04] ---
It was love at first sight!
[04:10] AGOMI
Hey! Are you listening to me?!
[04:12] GINTOKI
I guess I'm lacking sleep.
I feel dizzy, Shinpachi-kun.
[04:16] SHINPACHI
Don't worry. I'm really
dizzy, too, Gin-san.
[04:20] KAGURA
I feel like I'm pregnant. I feel like
throwing up so bad, Gin-chan.
[04:24] GINTOKI
Don't worry. I'm about to
throw up, too, Kagura.
[04:28] AGOMI
His name is Jurota.
[04:30] AGOMI
He's a rookie host at Takamagahara,
a well-known club in Kabukicho.
[04:35] SHINPACHI
Takamagahara... That's
Kyoshiro-san's...
[04:38] AGOMI
I'm just another hostess...
And he's a host...
[04:41] AGOMI
That's right. An innocent young girl
like me is destined to play around.
[04:47] GINTOKI
I think I'm suffering from
auditory hallucinations.
[04:49] GINTOKI
It sounded like he described himself as
an innocent young girl, Shinpachi-kun.
[04:52] SHINPACHI
Don't worry, he really did say
"innocent girl," Gin-san.
[04:57] GINTOKI
Are you all right, Kagura?
[04:59] SHINPACHI
Kagura-chan.
[05:00] AGOMI
I've never suffered so much over
a passionate love affair before.
[05:04] AGOMI
So I need your help!
[05:06] AGOMI
I'm really suffering. It
almost makes me want to die.
[05:09] GINTOKI
All right, here we go!
[05:11] AGOMI
Hey! Why are you going to kill me?!
[05:14] GINTOKI
Well, you said you wanted to die, so I
was going to help you on your journey.
[05:18] GINTOKI
I was going to be the
travel agent for hell.
[05:21] AGOMI
That's not what I meant!
[05:22] ---
I want you to help lead me to love!
[05:25] ---
I want you to put me on an
international flight of love!
[05:28] GINTOKI
That kind of international
flight is impossible!
[05:30] ---
Even if you had a spaceship that
can travel at warp speed,
SIGN [Note: Parody of Space Battleship Yamato.]
[05:32] ---
an old man's love would
never reach that host!
[05:35] AGOMI
Who's the old man in love?!
[05:36] THREE
It's you!
[05:40] AGOMI
If I don't do something, I'll go crazy.
[05:43] AGOMI
I feel like I'm going to turn
into a love monster!
[05:46] SHINPACHI
Well, you already are
a monster, I guess.
[05:50] AGOMI
If you can't help me out,
comfort me at least!
[05:53] GINTOKI
No way! No, no!
[05:54] GINTOKI
Healing the loneliness of
an innocent old man
[05:56] GINTOKI
isn't on the list of the
Odd Job's job duties!
[05:58] AGOMI
Then what do you think I should do?!
[06:01] SHINPACHI
Gin-san...
[06:04] GINTOKI
I guess we have no choice.
SIGN [Three days later...]
[06:06] GINTOKI
We can try asking Kyoshiro.
[06:10] AGOMI
Welcome to the host
club, Takamagahara.
[06:15] AGOMI
That's right. I started working
as a new host
[06:18] AGOMI
in a black suit under the
name Agonosuke.
[06:20] AGOMI
I locked away my true self deep
in the bottom of my heart.
[06:23] AGOMI
Of course, it was a painful choice.
[06:26] AGOMI
I know... It doesn't mean the distance between
our hearts is getting any closer.
[06:31] GINTOKI
Hey, you look like you're down! A-go-mi!
[06:33] AGOMI
Huh? Is that so?
[06:35] GINTOKI
You idiot!
[06:39] GINTOKI
Really... You showed your true colors
so quickly after I called you by name.
[06:42] KAGURA
Are you even trying, you bastard?!
[06:45] GINTOKI
Hey, listen up.
[06:46] GINTOKI
We're gonna act like angry customers
and pick a fight with Jurota.
[06:50] GINTOKI
You protect him from us.
[06:53] GINTOKI
Then the distance between
your hearts will shrink.
[06:57] AGOMI
Pako...
[06:59] AGOMI
I...If I wasn't falling in love with him,
I would fall in love with you guys.
[07:03] THREE
Please don't!
[07:07] JUROTA
Hello, I'm Jurota, the person you
requested. It's nice to meet you.
[07:11] GINTOKI
Wow! You're so cute!
[07:14] SHINPACHI
So true! I'm going to fall for you!
[07:16] KAGURA
Hey, give us more services!
[07:19] JUROTA
Hey, wait...miss!
[07:21] GINTOKI
We do get more, right?!
[07:23] SHINPACHI (M)
Agomi-san, now is the time!
[07:24] GINTOKI (M)
You're using us as steppingstones to build
up a trusting relationship with him!
[07:29] AGOMI
That smooth skin... I want to eat it...
[07:34] GINTOKI
You messed up!
[07:36] SHINPACHI (M)
We have no choice, Gin-san!
[07:38] ---
Let's go to plan B!
[07:41] SHINPACHI
Well now, let's lighten the mood
a bit. Chug that!
[07:44] JUROTA
Well, but this is too...
[07:46] KAGURA
Show us how cool you are!
[07:49] GINTOKI (M)
That's right. The customer who
forces a host to drink is...
[07:52] GINTOKI (M)
...a real troublemaker!
[07:53] ---
Agomi, this is your chance!!
[07:57] AGOMI
Excuse me, Jurota-san...
[07:59] AGOMI
...let me have that drink.
[08:03] JUROTA
Agonosuke-san...
[08:06] AGOMI (M)
Here we go...Azumi...
[08:13] AGOMI (M)
I can do this!
[08:15] AGOMI (M)
Men have courage!
[08:16] AGOMI (M)
Women are lovable! But cross-dressers
are the most passionate!
[08:27] JUROTA
Agonosuke-san!
[08:29] JUROTA
A-Are you all right?!
[08:32] JUROTA
I'm so relieved...
[08:34] ---
You saved me, Agonosuke-san.
[08:42] HOST
Thanks for coming.
[08:44] SHINPACHI
Well, all kinds of things were happening,
but it was good for Agomi-san.
[08:47] GINTOKI
Sort of.
[08:49] SAIGO
Wait.
[08:52] SHINPACHI
Saigo-san.
[08:56] HOST
Hey, Agonosuke, when you're free,
[08:58] HOST
can you clean up the locker
room for your fellow hosts?
[09:00] AGOMI
Certainly.
SIGN [HOST LOCKER ROOM]
[09:05] SAIGO
What are you guys doing with him?
[09:08] GINTOKI
Nothing really.
[09:12] GINTOKI
It's what Agomi wanted. So we're
just giving him a supportive push.
[09:16] SAIGO
But you do know, right?
[09:19] SAIGO
In the end, Agomi's love won't
ever be reciprocated.
[09:22] SAIGO
Besides, he's an ordinary host,
especially around them.
[09:24] SAIGO
If you do something unnecessary, and
it hurts him, what are you going to do?
[09:29] SAIGO
Don't tell me you think things
will work out between them.
[09:35] GINTOKI
No need to worry.
[09:37] GINTOKI
It's like Agomi is more a young girl
in love than a real girl right now.
[09:41] GINTOKI
Just looking at a man from a
distance gives him a fantasy.
[09:45] GINTOKI
But men in the real world
are always nasty.
[09:48] GINTOKI
And not only in the way
they treat woman...
[09:50] GINTOKI
...but also in their lifestyle, the
way they smell, everything.
[09:53] GINTOKI
If Agomi finds out about their real lives,
his fantasies will be crushed.
[09:59] GINTOKI
Then she'll...
[10:01] GINTOKI
...realize that she has to move
on for the sake of tomorrow.
[10:04] SHINPACHI
Gin-san...
[10:08] AGOMI
No!
[10:10] AGOMI
This is...
[10:11] AGOMI
This is...
[10:12] AGOMI
...Jurota-kun's...
[10:14] ---
...smell!
[10:17] AGOMI
Is this Jurota-kun's locker?
[10:18] ---
Oh, yes! Oh, sweet!
[10:21] ---
What's this? Nice smell! Oh, no! I'm
going up! I'm rising to heaven!
[10:32] JUROTA
It's not like that!
[10:33] JUROTA
Well, see you later!
[10:36] JUROTA
Wow! Great!
[10:39] JUROTA
Agonosuke-san must be working
really hard to clean up!
[10:50] JUROTA
A-Agonosuke-san...
[10:52] AGOMI
That's right... You found out...
[10:55] AGOMI
And so I might as well...
[11:05] SHINPACHI
It looks like Agomi-san quit the
club after disgracing himself.
[11:09] KAGURA
It ended up being his hopeless love.
[11:12] GINTOKI
Serious feelings sometimes have
a cruel ending, you know.
[11:17] ---
But Agomi will move on for the
sake of a new tomorrow.
[11:20] JUROTA
Thanks for waiting!
[11:22] AGOMI
Oh, no! I didn't wait at all.
[11:26] AGOMI
Well, let's go!
[11:27] JUROTA
Yeah, Azumi-san.
[11:29] SHINPACHI
Gin-san...What's...that?
[11:32] GINTOKI
Well, you know... He moved on for
the sake of a new tomorrow...
[11:36] GINTOKI
...with Jurota-kun.
[11:37] KAGURA/SHINPACHI
What the...?!
[11:46] GINTOKI
It's raining today, too...
[11:49] GINTOKI
When rainy days come so often,
it makes my heart gloomy as well.
[11:54] KAGURA
Rainy day, rainy day, more rainy days...
It makes my brain moldy, too.
[12:00] GINTOKI
It was already like that.
[12:02] GINTOKI
How many days have
we not seen the sun?
[12:05] ---
It looks like mushrooms are
growing on my crotch.
[12:07] KAGURA
It was already like that.
[12:10] GINTOKI
There are no clients. I don't feel
like going out in the rain.
[12:14] GINTOKI
There's no money.
[12:15] GINTOKI
Sadaharu stinks and my feet stink,
too, and so does Shinpachi.
[12:19] SHINPACHI
What do you mean, "so does Shinpachi"?
Don't compare me to your feet.
[12:23] SHINPACHI
Why are you two being
so negative? Cheer up!
[12:27] SHINPACHI
The rainy season will be over soon.
[12:29] SHINPACHI
Then you can get as much
sunlight as you want.
[12:33] GINTOKI
...That's why I hate the rainy season.
[12:36] GINTOKI
I'm kind of dubious about the
name "Tsuyu," anyway.
SIGN [Note: Tsuyu means rainy season.]
[12:39] GINTOKI
Just hearing to it makes me feel down.
[12:41] GINTOKI
Just listening to it makes me feel down.
[12:44] SHINPACHI
It can't be helped because
it's the rainy season.
[12:47] GINTOKI
Why don't we call it
by a different name?
[12:49] GINTOKI
Something with a more exhilarating tone.
[12:51] GINTOKI
How about "Happy Birthday To You?"
SIGN [Note: Japanese pronounce "to you" like tsu-yu. Tsuyu = rainy season.]
[12:55] SHINPACHI
...Isn't that a little long?
[12:56] KAGURA
It's too difficult to say.
I prefer "Girl's Day."
SIGN [Note: Kagura refers to the day of a girl's menstrual period.]
[12:59] SHINPACHI
No, that sounds like a different day.
[13:01] SHINPACHI
That's even more difficult to say.
[13:02] SHINPACHI
And it's not even an appropriate word
for a show in this timeslot.
[13:04] GINTOKI
Then let's adopt the middle viewpoint
and call it "Independence Day."
[13:08] SHINPACHI
Why is that the middle?
[13:11] GINTOKI
From now on, call "Tsuyu"
"Independence Day."
[13:16] SHINPACHI
Anyway...well... "Independence Day"
will be over soon, so let's cheer up!
[13:24] GINTOKI
Man, I really hate "Tsuyu"!
[13:26] KAGURA
I don't feel like doing anything.
[13:28] SHINPACHI
...Huh? Aren't you going to
use "Independence Day"?
[13:31] SHINPACHI
I felt a bit embarrassed saying that.
[13:33] GINTOKI
Huh? Shinpachi-kun, did you just say
"Indepen...something"? What's that?
[13:38] SHINPACHI
No-No, I didn't... I didn't
say that! What's that?!
[13:41] GINTOKI
Yeah, you just said it.
"Indepen...something."
[13:44] GINTOKI
Isn't it popular right now?
Is it something cool?
[13:46] SHINPACHI
I didn't say that! I don't
even know what it is!
[13:48] KAGURA
You guys are too noisy!
[13:51] KAGURA
Stop annoying me and just shut up!
[13:52] SHINPACHI
Who do think is the most
annoying person?
[13:55] SHINPACHI
You guys are just taking
your stress out on me!
[13:57] GINTOKI
Not really. I don't take
my stress out on you.
[13:59] GINTOKI
I'm not annoying at all, either.
[14:01] KAGURA
Don't talk! I'm so annoyed
listening to you guys talk!
[14:04] GINTOKI
You're the one who shouldn't
be talking! What's that?
[14:06] GINTOKI
Those mini gongs on your head! There's
something ugly on your head!
[14:08] KAGURA
Oh? Why do you wear only
one sleeve of that robe?!
[14:10] KAGURA
Why don't you wear it properly?!
[14:12] SHINPACHI
Good grief! I give up! I don't care
about you guys anymore!
[14:15] GINTOKI
Shut up!
[14:15] KAGURA
Shut up, Four-eyes!
[14:16] ---
Who you calling Four-eyes?!
SIGN ["There's Almost a 100% Chance You'll Forget Your Umbrella and Hate Yourself For It"]
[14:28] GINTOKI
Why do I have to go out with you
guys on such a rainy day?
[14:32] SHINPACHI
When we stay in the house and
brood, we get depressed.
[14:37] SHINPACHI
We should go out at such times.
[14:39] ---
And this isn't so bad, you know.
[14:42] SHINPACHI
An Edokko should enjoy each
season's highlights.
SIGN [Note: Edokko is a Japanese term referring to a person born and raised in Edo/Tokyo.]
[14:46] SHINPACHI
For example, look! Here come some
girls walking with umbrellas.
[14:49] SHINPACHI
Aren't they pure and beautiful?
[15:15] GINTOKI
We see girls with umbrellas
all throughout the year.
[15:19] GINTOKI
And girls with wet see-through
T-shirts are more...
[15:24] GINTOKI
Hey, what are you doing?
[15:26] SHINPACHI
Kagura-chan, you'll catch a cold.
[15:30] KAGURA
...It's broken.
[15:32] GINTOKI
Huh?
[15:33] KAGURA
My umbrella is broken.
[15:37] ---
Just leave me alone.
[15:38] KAGURA
Women sometimes want
to walk in the rain.
[15:42] GINTOKI
Hey. Your head is what's broken!
[15:44] SHINPACHI
What's with her?
[15:46] GINTOKI
Just leave her alone.
[15:47] GINTOKI
Brats like rain, storms, typhoons
and all that kind of stuff.
[15:57] SHINPACHI
By the way, we ran out
of laundry detergent.
SIGN [OEDO STORE]
[16:15] KAGURA
Gin-chan, did you buy
my pickled seaweed?
[16:18] GINTOKI
Buy it yourself, brat.
[16:21] GINTOKI
Here.
[16:25] KAGURA
I-I don't want it.
That umbrella is too flashy.
[16:29] GINTOKI
Who said it was for you?
[16:32] GINTOKI
This is for me. Just use that dirty one.
[16:36] SHINPACHI
Wow, nice umbrella, Gin-san.
It looks cool and chic.
[16:41] GINTOKI
This is nice, isn't it?
Even though it only costs 100 yen.
[16:45] KAGURA
Hey, wait! That's weird. It's weird if a
man uses it! I can take it if you like.
[16:52] GINTOKI
That's all right. It's all right
if women walk in the rain.
[18:24] GINTOKI
It's raining again today...
[18:26] SHINPACHI
Whenever it rains,
Kagura-chan goes out.
[18:30] SHINPACHI
She really is a girl at heart.
[18:32] GINTOKI
Humph. Brats like rain, storms, typhoons,
and all that kind of stuff.
[18:36] SHINPACHI
That reminds me, the rain is supposed
to get worse today.
[18:40] SHINPACHI
I wonder if she'll be all right.
[19:05] GINTOKI
It's raining again today...
[19:07] SHINPACHI
Kagura-chan is out today again?
After all, she's a girl.
[19:12] GINTOKI
Brats like rain, storms, typhoons
and all that kind of stuff.
[19:16] SHINPACHI
By the way, the 7th typhoon is going to
hit Edo. I wonder if she'll be all right.
[19:47] SHINPACHI
Kagura-chan.
[19:49] KAGURA
...What?
[19:51] SHINPACHI
The weather was really rough,
so we were worried about you.
[19:54] SHINPACHI
You're all drenched. Are you all right?
[20:00] SHINPACHI
Kagura-chan, make sure you completely
dry off with a towel, okay?
[20:04] KAGURA
All right.
[21:46] GINTOKI
Hey, young lady. Young lady!
[21:49] GINTOKI
You have such a cool umbrella.
[21:52] GINTOKI
Would you mind letting us under it?
Because ours broke.
[22:00] GINTOKI
Boy, "Independence Day" makes me feel
really gloomy. That's why I hate it.
[22:07] KAGURA
No, I think "Independence
Day" isn't all that bad.
[22:11] ---
[23:52] Sora
It takes too much effort
to use a dip pen.
[23:55] Sora
Takes too much effort
to draw backgrounds.
SIGN Voice / Sorachi Hideki
[23:57] Sora
Takes too much effort to
draw manga in general.
[23:59] Sora
Hell, it takes too much effort to live.
[24:03] Sora
I want to be a cheese steamed bun!
E256.C - Gintama Classic - Whenever I Hear Leviathan, I Think of Sazae-san. Stupid Me!!
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] Abuto
This school was in the same
district as Gintama High,
[00:08] Abuto
but it tended to attract students with notorious
reputations during middle school,
[00:12] Abuto
and the rundown building was dubbed
a concentration camp by some.
[00:19] Abuto
The Metropolitan Yato
Industrial High School.
[00:22] Abuto
This is the story of one man who arrived
in this school full of savages...
[00:35] Kamui
I'll kill ya.
[00:36] Abuto
Bebop.
[00:38] Men
Kamui-kun!
SIGN [Kamui - Episode 1]
[00:45] Umi
Starting today we have a new student,
Kamui, joining our class.
[00:49] Umi
Be nice, everyone.
[00:51] Kamui
I'm Kamui, from Harusame High.
[00:53] Kamui
I only have interest in
those who are strong.
[00:56] Kamui
I'll take over this class before
the day's over, so cheers.
[00:59] A
What's that?!
[00:59] B
You dissin' us?!
[01:01] C
I'll show you how fearsome
Yato High can be!
[01:05] Kamui
If you get in my way
again, I'll kill ya.
[01:09] Umi
Hey! What do you think you're
doing on your first day here?!
[01:11] D
You bastard! You don't get
to push my buddy around!
[01:16] Umi
Be nice, or I'll kill ya.
[01:19] E
Bastard's got cheek.
[01:20] E
Abuto, do something!
[01:25] Abuto
You read that as "Kamui"?
SIGN [After School]
[01:30] Abuto
Hey.
[01:32] Abuto
I said hey.
[01:33] Abuto
Can't you hear me?
[01:35] Abuto
Are the things protruding from your
head supposed to be doorknobs?
[01:38] Abuto
Eh?
[01:39] Kamui
How about a contest?
[01:41] Abuto
Huh?
[01:41] Kamui
7x1=7, 7x2=14, 7x3=21.
[01:44] Abuto
Wait, that's...
[01:46] Kamui
7x4=28, 7x5=35, now 7x6 equals?
[01:49] Abuto
The sevens, the hardest
part of the times table...
[01:53] Abuto
Uh, six sevens would be 45...
[01:54] Abuto
No, that's not it...
[01:56] Abuto
In this case, it'd either be 38 or 48...
[01:59] Abuto
Ungyo!
[01:59] Abuto
Lend me your fingers!
[02:01] Ungyo
I think I'll transfer...
SIGN [The End]
[02:05] Abuto
Teach, I don't get why we have to study.
[02:08] Abuto
Is this going to help us
out in the real world?
[02:11] Abuto
I was spewing a typical
adolescent question after
[02:15] ---
failing this important
juncture in life eight times.
[02:17] Abuto
Yes, I was the only
one held back at the
[02:20] ---
metropolitan Yato Industrial
High School eight times.
[02:23] Abuto
I no longer show up for
New Year's gatherings
[02:25] ---
'cause I can't stand all the
stares from the relatives.
[02:26] Abuto
Never show up!
[02:28] Abuto
That was when one particular
man arrived before me.
[02:33] Kamui
I'll kill ya.
[02:34] Abuto
Bebop.
[02:35] Men
Kamui-kun!
SIGN [Episode 2]
[02:41] A
Hey, look at that.
[02:43] A
It's the three stupid crows from Yato
High that've been getting cocky.
[02:47] A
The new kid who took control of the
third-years on his first day, Kamui.
[02:50] A
The member of the old guard who's
flunked eight times, Abuto.
[02:55] A
The fatty who's seventeen,
believe it or not...
[02:59] A
What's his name again?
[03:00] B
Beats me...
[03:01] Ungyo
I think I'll transfer...
SIGN [The End]
[03:05] Abuto
Say, did you know?
[03:07] Abuto
That scene from the current
ending sequence.
[03:09] Abuto
It has me set up as the only one
who flunks and doesn't graduate.
[03:12] Abuto
How mean is that?
[03:14] Abuto
That was when one particular
man arrived before me.
[03:18] Kamui
I'll kill ya.
[03:19] Abuto
Bebop.
[03:20] Men
Kamui-kun!
SIGN [Episode 3]
[03:26] Abuto
Bah, those bastards from
Yoshiwara Trade School...
[03:29] Kamui
Well, just sit back
and let your leg heal.
[03:31] Kamui
Don't worry about anything else.
[03:33] Abuto
Hey! Nincompoop!
[03:35] Abuto
Don't tell me you're going to go
off to get payback by yourself...
[03:38] Abuto
I won't allow you to do that.
[03:40] Abuto
This is my problem.
[03:41] Abuto
Got nothing to do with you!
[03:43] Kamui
I'll be back.
[03:44] Abuto
Hey, wait!
[03:45] Abuto
Don't give me that shit!
[03:46] Abuto
Hold up!
[03:47] Abuto
Bah, damn idiot.
[03:52] Abuto
Mommy, peel a pear for me.
[03:57] Ungyo
I think I'll make him transfer...
SIGN [The End]
SIGN [The showdown at Hotel Ikezuya: The Kagekiha Anti-Foreigner Ronin Faction versus the Shinsengumi.]
SIGN [The fate of Edo rests on what Hijikata saw happen to Kondo...]
[05:47] Yamazaki
The enemy is hiding in Hotel Ikezuya.
[05:50] Yamazaki
They plan on executing an armed
takeover of the terminal tomorrow.
[05:55] Yamazaki
They're meeting up at Ikezuya
to discuss their plans.
[06:02] Yamazaki
I would assume that they're
building morale for the
[06:04] ---
upcoming battle with
a feast of some sort.
[06:07] Yamazaki
This is our only chance to stop their
plan and to bring them all in.
[06:15] Kondo
It's a showdown...
[06:57] Kondo
Squad 1 will join me in attacking
from the front.
[07:00] Kondo
Squads 2 and 3 will follow their captains
and attack from the back.
[07:04] Kondo
Don't let a single rat escape.
[07:06] Kondo
Got it?
[07:07] Kondo
The fate of Edo rests on our blades.
[07:10] Kondo
Every battle we fight may be our last.
[07:13] Kondo
Our backs are against the wall.
[07:15] Kondo
Never look back.
[07:16] Kondo
Focus only on the enemy.
[07:18] Kondo
Open a path to the future
with your swords.
[07:23] Kondo
Let's go!
[07:43] Master
Excuse me...we're booked for the day...
[07:45] Kondo
We're here on official business.
[07:47] Kondo
We'll need to have a look inside.
[07:50] Master
Huh? Uh...
[08:02] Kondo
Toshi, I'm trusting
you to watch my back.
[08:06] Toshi
Yeah, I got you.
SIGN ["Whenever I Hear Leviathan,
I Think of Sazae-san. Stupid Me!!"]
[08:17] Hijikata
Oh...
[08:21] Hijikata
He's got snot coming out...
[08:25] Hijikata
Nah, it can't be.
[08:27] Hijikata
He wouldn't have snot coming out now...
[08:31] Hijikata
Nope, that's definitely snot.
[08:33] Hijikata
It's clearly snot.
[08:35] Hijikata
Should I tell him?
[08:37] Hijikata
But...
[08:39] Hijikata
I don't want to do anything that
[08:41] ---
would affect our morale right now...
[08:44] Hijikata
But still...
[08:46] Hijikata
If I leave it alone and the men notice,
[08:48] ---
that'll also affect the squad's morale...
[08:52] Kondo
Let's go!
[08:53] All
Yeah!
[08:56] A
Huh? Snot?
[08:57] B
No way! Seriously?!
[09:00] Hijikata
Crap... I had better tell him...
[09:03] Kondo
What's wrong, Toshi?
[09:05] Kondo
Why the funny face?
[09:07] Hijikata
Kondo-san... Well...
[09:10] Kondo
Even you feel nervous
before battles, eh?
[09:14] Kondo
But there's no need to be ashamed.
[09:16] Kondo
It's far more shameful to grow
accustomed to killing.
[09:21] Kondo
We have no choice but to
swing our swords in agony,
[09:23] Kondo
hoping that we will be able
to bring peace one day.
[09:25] Kondo
Humans are the only ones who
can set other humans straight.
[09:28] Kondo
Don't let yourself become a monster,
[09:32] ---
no matter how much blood you shed.
[09:34] Hijikata
Th-Thanks...
[09:37] Hijikata
That helped me snap out of it.
[09:40] Hijikata
Kondo-san...
[09:41] Hijikata
That was a nice speech, but your
snot is going Tarzan on you.
[09:46] C
Report!
[09:47] C
Squad 2 has reached the 12th floor!
[09:49] C
Squad 3 is on the move!
[09:52] Kondo
Very well. Squad 1 will head out
once squad 3 is in position.
[09:56] C
Yes, sir!
[09:57] Hijikata
No...I can't tell him...
[10:00] Hijikata
I'd rather die than tell someone who's being
serious that he's got snot going Tarzan.
[10:08] Hijikata
Tarzan would fall into the ravine...
[10:12] Hijikata
Can't do it...
[10:13] Hijikata
I have to prevent that from happening...
[10:15] Hijikata
I'll have to make him
aware of the snot in
[10:19] ---
passing instead of pointing
it out directly...
[10:22] Hijikata
What options do I have...?
[10:25] Hijikata
Hey! You lot!
[10:27] Men
Yes, sir!
[10:28] Hijikata
We'll have a piss break
before we charge in.
[10:33] Hijikata
Listen up.
[10:34] Hijikata
You won't have time once
the battle starts.
[10:36] Hijikata
Take care of your business now.
[10:38] Hijikata
If you don't piss now, you'll have
to hold it in for at least an hour.
[10:40] Okita
Hijikata-san, we didn't come
here on a picnic.
[10:44] Hijikata
Shut up!
[10:45] Hijikata
You're the type of kid who
make them stop the bus to
[10:49] ---
piss in the bush, crying,
while all the traffic goes by!
[10:53] Okita
Hijikata-san, we're not on a bus.
[10:56] Hijikata
Shut up!
[10:57] Hijikata
I told you to piss, so piss, damn it!
[11:01] A
Man, this is such a pain.
[11:03] B
There goes all the tension.
[11:05] C
I already squeezed out every
last drop before coming here.
[11:08] Hijikata
Kondo-san, why don't you join them?
[11:11] Kondo
Nah, I already took a piss.
[11:16] Hijikata
You should go wash your face.
[11:18] Hijikata
It'll help you focus.
[11:20] Kondo
Really?
[11:21] Kondo
I'll be gone for a bit then.
[11:23] Kondo
Stay on your guard.
[11:24] Hijikata
Yeah, don't worry.
[11:26] Hijikata
Okay, it's all good now.
[11:29] Hijikata
Once he looks in the mirror,
he'll notice Tarzan yelling.
[11:33] Hijikata
I can only pray that Tarzan will return
[11:35] ---
to the forest before anyone notices.
[11:39] Kondo
Okay, I'm focused now.
[11:41] Kondo
Let's get going!
[11:42] Men
Yeah!
[11:44] Hijikata
T-Tarzan's come out to New York!
[11:47] Hijikata
Why?!
[11:49] Hijikata
What's going on?!
[11:50] Hijikata
He washed his face, yet his snot's
gone from Tarzan to Leviathan?!
SIGN [Note: Referring to the Leviathan from the "Final Fantasy" video game series.]
[11:55] D
Hey, check out the commander...
[11:57] E
Isn't there something on
his nose? What is that?
[12:00] D
Isn't it Leviathan?
[12:00] Hijikata
This is bad... They're starting
to notice Leviathan...
[12:03] Hijikata
Fall off!
[12:04] Hijikata
Leviathan, that isn't where you belong!
[12:07] Hijikata
Back you go to the Feymarch!
SIGN [Note: From Final Fantasy IV for the Nintendo DS.]
[12:13] Hijikata
There it goes!
[12:14] Hijikata
It's definitely gone now!
[12:17] Kondo
What? Did I catch a cold?
[12:20] Hijikata
N-Now Bahamut's been summoned!
[12:23] Hijikata
Crap!
[12:24] Hijikata
I didn't expect Bahamut to be
renting the room next door!
[12:27] C
Squad 1 has reached their floor!
[12:29] Kondo
Very well. Squad 1 will also move out.
[12:32] Men
Yeah!
[12:33] Hijikata
I-It's impossible to hide now...
[12:35] Hijikata
Bahamut and Leviathan...
[12:37] Hijikata
They won't stop until
everything's destroyed...
[12:40] Hijikata
What do I do?
[12:43] Hijikata
So-Sogo!
[12:45] Sogo
What is it?
[12:46] Hijikata
Take squad 1 and use the
emergency stairwell.
[12:50] Hijikata
I'll join the double dragons, I mean...
[12:53] Hijikata
Kondo-san in attacking from the front.
[12:55] Sogo
Will the two of you be
okay by yourselves?
[12:57] Hijikata
The goal is to confuse the enemy.
[12:59] Hijikata
You don't need to worry.
[13:00] Hijikata
I'm willing to die to protect Kondo-san.
[13:02] Kondo
Toshi?
[13:03] Hijikata
Let me handle this.
[13:06] Hijikata
I managed to get rid of the men,
[13:09] Hijikata
but the problem now is how to proceed.
[13:11] Hijikata
If we charge in, the enemy will
see these double dragons.
[13:17] A
Huh?
[13:18] A
Hey, this guy's dripping snot!
[13:21] B
You should take care of your nose
before taking care of patriots!
[13:25] Kondo
Stop!
[13:26] Kondo
Don't look!
[13:32] Hijikata
I have to do something before
the situation gets ugly...
[13:36] Hijikata
Eliminate the double
dragons without messing
[13:39] ---
with Kondo-san's serious manner.
[13:42] Kondo
Toshi, check that out.
[13:44] Kondo
The enemy has people on patrol.
[13:47] Kondo
If we're spotted, the enemy will
be alerted to our presence,
[13:49] Kondo
and our ambush will fail.
[13:51] Hijikata
Yeah, you're right...
[13:53] Hijikata
There's no time to get hung
up about cleanliness.
[13:56] Hijikata
I'll just use my hand.
[13:58] Hijikata
There's no other way to bring
down those giants.
[14:02] Hijikata
Bahamut and Leviathan...
[14:04] Hijikata
Which to go for first...
[14:06] Hijikata
Given the way he's turned,
Leviathan will be difficult...
[14:09] Hijikata
Guess I'll start with Bahamut.
[14:10] Hijikata
Okay!
[14:14] Hijikata
Bahamut just?!
[14:15] Hijikata
What?!
[14:16] Hijikata
Did it sense the impeding danger?!
[14:18] Hijikata
Leviathan's doubled in size instead!
[14:20] Hijikata
What's going on?!
[14:22] Hijikata
Come on! Don't tell me Bahamut and
[14:23] ---
Leviathan are connected in the back?
[14:26] Hijikata
They're a couple?
[14:29] Hijikata
That makes this easy then.
[14:32] Hijikata
Grab one and they're both goners!
[14:42] Hijikata
That's it!
[14:43] Hijikata
I'll go for Zantetsuken!
SIGN [Note: Odin's trademark attack from FF series.]
[14:48] Hijikata
My eyes! My eyes!
[14:48] Kondo
Hey, Toshi!
[14:49] Kondo
You okay?!
[14:51] Hijikata
Sn-Snot came flying out!
[14:53] Hijikata
Snot came flying at
me like a Flare spell!
[14:55] Hijikata
What's going on?!
[14:57] C
Hey! What're you doing?!
[15:00] C
Whoa! What's with that sno...
[15:05] Kondo
Whoa!
[15:05] Kondo
Nice one, Toshi!
[15:07] Kondo
That was instant!
[15:10] Hijikata
Th-That was close...
[15:12] Hijikata
He was about to find out.
[15:14] Kondo
Hey, wasn't that guy saying
something about sno...
[15:17] Hijikata
He wasn't!
[15:19] Kondo
No, pretty sure I heard sno...
[15:20] Hijikata
He must have been talking
about snowbells, yeah.
[15:23] Hijikata
He realized he was about
to die, so he wanted
[15:26] ---
to request snowbells at his grave.
[15:28] Kondo
Snowbells...
[15:29] D
Damn, that's loud!
[15:31] D
What's all the noise about...
[15:35] D
What the hell is that s-...
[15:37] Hijikata
Socrates!
[15:40] B
I-It's the Shinsengumi!
[15:42] Kondo
Onward!
[15:43] B
Wh-What's with this guy?!
[15:45] B
He's got all that sn-...
[15:46] Kondo
Soul Society!
[15:48] F
Hey! That's s-...
[15:50] Hijikata
Son Goku!
[15:52] G
Whoa! S-...
[15:53] Hijikata
'Nothing to worry about!
[16:00] H
The hell's up with this guy?!
[16:02] H
He's a monster!
[16:03] H
Run!
[16:04] Okita
You won't get away!
[16:06] Okita
Zaki!
[16:09] Hijikata
Crap!
[16:10] Yamazaki
Huh?
[16:11] Yamazaki
Commander, what's with that s-...
[16:18] Hijikata
Yamazaki!
[16:20] Hijikata
You okay?!
[16:21] Hijikata
Who did this to you?!
[16:23] Yamazaki
A vase suddenly...
[16:25] Kondo
Zaki...
[16:26] Kondo
Damn them!
[16:27] Kondo
They won't get away with this!
[16:29] Hijikata
Wait!
[16:30] Hijikata
Hold on!
[16:31] Hijikata
Here.
[16:32] Hijikata
Your face is covered with the blood
that's been splashing around.
[16:35] Hijikata
Use this to wipe it off.
[16:36] Kondo
Your face is the one that's
covered with blood.
[16:38] Hijikata
I said to wipe it off, damn it!
[16:41] Hijikata
You won't be able to fight
if it gets into your eye!
[16:43] Kondo
Yeah, sorry...
[16:45] Kondo
It's true that you're as good
as dead if you lose your
[16:48] ---
eyes on the battlefield.
[16:50] Hijikata
Right, you're done now.
[16:53] Hijikata
It's over for you this time, damn snot.
[16:57] Hijikata
H-Hey!
[17:00] Hijikata
What is that?!
[17:01] Hijikata
Why is his snot wiping his face?!
[17:03] Hijikata
Why is the dirtiest part of his face
trying to wipe his face clean?!
[17:07] Kondo
Okay, I'm ready to go.
[17:09] Kondo
Let's do this, Toshi!
[17:11] Hijikata
You aren't ready!
[17:13] Hijikata
You're a complete mess!
[17:19] Kondo
Damn villains, it's on!
[17:26] Hijikata
He has total control of his snot...
[17:30] Hijikata
No, I would say that the
snot is controlling him...
[17:35] Hijikata
What the hell?
[17:37] Hijikata
What is that thing?
[17:39] Hijikata
Stop it.
[17:40] Hijikata
Stop abusing Kondo-san...
[17:43] Hijikata
Get the hell out!
[17:46] Kondo
Look out!
[17:47] Kondo
Toshi!
[17:55] Hijikata
Kondo-san!
[17:59] Hijikata
Kondo-san!
[18:02] Hijikata
The snot is gone...?
[18:05] Snot
I'm sorry.
[18:09] Snot
For deceiving you this whole time...
[18:25] Snot
Toshi...
[18:26] Hijikata
N-No way...
[18:29] Hijikata
You're kidding me, the snot... You...
[18:36] Snot
I am the true identity of Isao Kondo.
[18:44] Snot
Snot Nebula 28...
SIGN [Note: Spoof of the Japanese hero Ultraman and his home Nebula M78.]
[18:49] Snot
That is my home galaxy.
[18:53] Snot
I came to investigate Earth,
[18:55] Snot
so I commandeered the body of a gorilla,
[18:58] Snot
and altered my appearance to allow
me to live amongst humans.
[19:05] Snot
That would be me, Isao Kondo.
[19:11] Snot
Once my investigation was done, I was supposed
to be blown into a tissue and thrown away.
[19:17] Snot
But before I knew it, five years,
ten years had passed...
[19:23] Snot
The next thing I knew, I was
a middle-aged man.
[19:27] Snot
I had so much fun with you guys...
[19:35] Hijikata
Sno...
[19:37] Hijikata
Kondo-san...
[19:39] Hijikata
So everything I was trying to do to help
you would have destroyed you?
[19:47] Snot
That's how it should be.
[19:48] Snot
It's the fate of snot to be blown
into a tissue and thrown away.
[19:52] Hijikata
But...
[19:53] Snot
I've lived too long...
[19:55] Snot
I've grown too ugly and fat
to be kept inside a nose...
[20:01] Snot
I wanted you to send me off...
[20:06] Snot
Toshi, I wanted to be blown
into a tissue held by you...
[20:11] Snot
Can you do me this favor...friend?
[20:16] Hijikata
I'll come after you...
[20:24] Hijikata
Next time, I'll also become snot...
[20:28] Snot
I'll be waiting...
[20:31] Snot
I'll be waiting in
Otae-san's nostrils...
[20:36] Hijikata
Like hell I'd follow you there!!
[20:39] Hijikata
Talking snot is damn disgusting!
[20:50] Snot
Toshi...
[20:52] Snot
Your fly was open...
[21:11] Kondo
We're here, Toshi.
[21:13] Kondo
This is Ikezuya.
[21:14] Kondo
This will be an intense fight.
[21:16] Kondo
Stay focused.
[21:19] Hijikata
Kondo-san...
[21:20] Kondo
Hmm? What is it?
[21:23] Hijikata
Your snot's going Tarzan on you.
[21:26] Kondo
Oh, you're right.
[23:01] Shin
The second movie will be released next year.
[23:04] Shin
We have an interview with the gorilla author
[23:06] ---
in celebration of him finally finishing the original storyboard!
[23:11] Shin
Yeah, good work.
[23:15] Shin
Sure took you long enough.
[23:17] Shin
So how is it?
[23:18] Shin
Any comments now that it's done?
[23:24] Shin
Huh?
[23:26] Shin
Uh, then let me ask you this.
[23:29] Shin
Do I play a big role?
[23:31] Shin
Do I get any screen time?
[23:37] Shin
I don't understand what you're saying!
[23:41] Shin
Huh? What is it?
[23:46] Shin
Again?
[23:48] Shin
You're going to fart again?
[23:50] Shin
You'll pretend to burst with joy because you're done,
[23:53] Shin
but you'll just fart instead.
[23:55] Shin
We know it's coming.
[23:57] Shin
You can only trick us so many times...
[24:00] Shin
Gorilla!
[24:02] ---
E256.C - Gintama Classic - No Matter How Old You Get, You Still Hate the Dentist
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:43] Gintoki
Hurry it up...
[01:46] Gintoki
I'm begging ya.
[01:48] Gintoki
Make it quick.
[01:51] Gintoki
Please...
[01:53] Gintoki
Hurry...
[01:54] Gintoki
End my suffering!
[01:57] Gintoki
Why don't you finish me off?
[02:00] Gintoki
Why must you waste time?
[02:03] Gintoki
Kill me!
[02:04] Gintoki
Just get it over with!
[02:06] Gintoki
Do you enjoy torturing me?!
[02:09] Gintoki
Please!
[02:10] Gintoki
I can't stand just sitting here
waiting for my death!
[02:14] Gintoki
I'll go insane!
[02:16] Gintoki
I beg ya!
[02:18] Gintoki
Quick!
[02:19] Gintoki
Kill me!
[02:24] Nurse A
Um, Sakata-san.
[02:25] Nurse A
Excuse me, but could you keep it down?
[02:30] Nurse A
You're disturbing the other patients.
SIGN [Namu Dental Clinic]
[02:35] Gintoki
Sorry about that...
SIGN ["People Of All Ages Hate The Dentist!"]
[02:46] Gintoki
No...
[02:47] Gintoki
I hate going to the dentist.
[02:49] Gintoki
That distinctive odor...
[02:51] Gintoki
That shady easy listening music...
[02:54] Gintoki
The echoing whir of the drill...
[02:56] Gintoki
And the wait... It's like waiting
for your death sentence...
[03:00] Gintoki
Damn! I SO wanna go home!
[03:02] Gintoki
Go home, latch on to Sadaharu,
and cuddle in his fur!
[03:06] Gintoki
But my tooth hurts...
[03:07] Gintoki
No, but I'm scared of the treatment...
[03:09] Gintoki
How many times have
I gone through this?
[03:11] Gintoki
Just put me out of my misery.
[03:14] Gintoki
Sure, a candy lover is doomed
to a life of cavities,
[03:18] Gintoki
but that aspect of my character's
been forgotten, you know?
[03:22] Gintoki
There was no scene of me
eating sweets lately.
[03:25] Gintoki
They're gonna drill.
[03:27] Gintoki
They'll stick that thing
in my mouth for sure.
[03:29] Gintoki
A drill doesn't belong in your mouth.
[03:32] Gintoki
It's the last thing you
should stick in there!
[03:33] Gintoki
That's not what a doctor's
supposed to do.
[03:35] Gintoki
What do I do?
[03:36] Gintoki
Will I die if I sneeze when
the drill's in my mouth?
[03:39] Gintoki
Am I gonna die?
[03:41] Gintoki
What do I do?
[03:42] Gintoki
Will I die if that sucking tube
thing gets my tongue?
[03:46] Gintoki
Am I gonna die?!
[03:50] Gintoki
Stop, stop!!
[03:51] Gintoki
Enough already!!
[03:53] Gintoki
I'll stop thinking about it.
[03:55] Gintoki
I'll read a magazine or something
to take my mind off that.
[03:57] Gintoki
JUMP... JUMP...
SIGN [Note: "Weekly Shonen Magazine" published from Kodansha.]
[04:00] Gintoki
What? This place prefers Magazine?
[04:02] Gintoki
I guess it can't hurt every
once in a while...
[04:12] Gintoki
Here to clean your tobacco
stains? You nicotine addict!
[04:14] Hijikata
Can't you tell from my face?
[04:16] Hijikata
An old silver cap decided to rot on me.
SIGN [Note: Part of Gintoki's name is "Gin", which is silver in Japanese.]
[04:20] Hijikata
Damn, anything with the word
"silver" in it is bound to fail.
[04:23] Gintoki
Let go. I grabbed it first.
[04:25] Hijikata
No, we touched it at the same time.
[04:26] Hijikata
And don't you prefer JUMP?
[04:27] Hijikata
Let this Magazine fan have it.
[04:29] Gintoki
It's a good idea to check
out the enemy at times.
[04:33] Gintoki
So what if it's the 50th anniversary?
[04:35] Gintoki
Why are you teaming up with Sunday?
[04:38] Gintoki
Something's up there.
[04:39] Hijikata
What, are you jealous?
[04:40] Hijikata
You want in or something?
[04:42] Hijikata
You upset about not being
invited to the party?
[04:44] Gintoki
Heck no.
[04:44] Gintoki
Go enjoy it yourselves.
[04:45] Gintoki
It's easier for us to go solo.
[04:47] Gintoki
No point in cooperating when you
guys have no chance against us.
[04:50] Hijikata
You've got it backwards.
[04:52] Hijikata
Don't you understand that
everyone hates you?
[04:54] Hijikata
Can't you tell that
you're being shunned?
[04:56] Nurse A
Please keep it down.
[04:56] Gintoki
What? Pretending to be popular?
[04:57] Nurse A
You're disturbing the other patients...
[04:58] Gintoki
Haven't you realized that Sunday's only
pretending to be a buddy to Magazine?
[05:01] Gintoki
He was trashing you on the way
home from school the other day.
[05:03] Hijikata
Sunday would never do that!
[05:05] Hijikata
Don't make shit up.
[05:06] Gintoki
Go ask Champion.
SIGN [Note: "Weekly Shonen Champion" is manga magazine from Akita Shoten.]
[05:08] Gintoki
He heard it too.
[05:09] Hijikata
Shut up!
[05:09] Hijikata
What do you know about Sunday?!
[05:11] Gintoki
Keep on pretending to be all tight!
[05:12] Gintoki
Too bad you're anything but!
[05:13] Nurse A
Hey! I told you to
shut the hell up!
[05:13] Gintoki
Everybody knows already!
[05:14] Gintoki
Gangan and Ace know too!
SIGN [Note: Monthly manga magazines. "Gangan" is published by
Square Enix and "Shonen Ace" is published by Kadokawa Shoten.]
[05:22] Hijikata
I just had to run into this jerk.
[05:24] Gintoki
Why did I have to bump
into him of all people?
[05:28] Hijikata
I have to act calm.
[05:30] Gintoki
I can't let him know my weakness.
[05:34] Both
I can't let him know that I still
hate the dentist at this age!
[05:41] Gintoki
Hey, can you cut that out?
[05:45] Gintoki
Constantly fidgeting...
[05:47] Gintoki
How many times are you
going to cross your legs?
[05:49] Gintoki
You're making me nervous.
[05:51] Hijikata
And what about you?
[05:52] Hijikata
Your leg's been tapping like crazy.
SIGN [Note: Restless Legs Syndrome is known as
"Poor People's Shake" in Japan, based on how
poor people are often always shivering, etc.]
[05:55] Hijikata
Could you cut it out?
[05:56] Hijikata
You're gonna make me poor like you.
[05:58] Gintoki
I'm all irritated because
of your fidgeting.
[06:00] Gintoki
Oh?
[06:02] Gintoki
Is that it?
[06:03] Gintoki
Are you scared?
[06:04] Gintoki
The Demon Vice-Chief?
[06:06] Hijikata
Huh? What?
[06:07] Hijikata
No idea what you're talking about.
[06:08] Hijikata
Scared of what?
[06:09] Hijikata
Was there something scary
about the dentist?
[06:12] Gintoki
No, not really.
[06:13] Gintoki
Nothing at all.
[06:14] Hijikata
You said that because there's
something to be scared of.
[06:17] Hijikata
Which means you're the
one who's scared?
[06:19] Gintoki
Hell no.
[06:20] Gintoki
You know how people say that the
sound of a drill can be scary?
[06:24] Gintoki
Not that I would understand.
[06:26] Hijikata
I don't get it either.
[06:27] Hijikata
Hell, I want a drill in my
mouth every week;
[06:30] Hijikata
come in to get plaque removed
on a regular basis.
[06:33] Gintoki
What? You don't do that?
[06:34] Gintoki
I have the whole package
done every three days.
[06:38] Gintoki
My mouth feels all icky if I
don't get that drill in there.
[06:41] Hijikata
Oh, really.
[06:43] Hijikata
I have my own drill at home so
I don't have to come here.
[06:46] Hijikata
Since I'm a driller.
[06:48] Gintoki
Driller?!
[06:49] Gintoki
What the hell's a driller?!
[06:51] Gintoki
Why do you have your own drill?!
[06:53] Gintoki
He's crazy!
[06:53] Gintoki
No fear of drills!
[06:56] Gintoki
Oh, you're also a driller?
[06:59] Gintoki
What a coincidence.
[07:00] Gintoki
Interested in entering a
drill contest with me?
[07:03] Hijikata
Drill contest?!
[07:05] Hijikata
No way! I don't wanna do that crap!
[07:08] Hijikata
This guy enters a contest like that?!
[07:10] Hijikata
He's a monster!
[07:12] Hijikata
Sure, if I'm off that day.
[07:14] Hijikata
Well, I'll try to keep my schedule open.
[07:17] Hasegawa
Huh? What are you two
doing here together?
[07:21] Gintoki
Hasegawa-san.
[07:22] Hasegawa
You guys are also having
teeth problems?
[07:25] Hijikata
I was taking a walk and decided
to stop by for a drilling.
[07:28] Hasegawa
A drill? What are you talking about?
[07:30] Gintoki
Are you also here for a drilling?
[07:32] Hasegawa
A drilling? Well, I'm
here to get treated.
[07:34] Hasegawa
I just stepped out for a bathroom break.
[07:37] Hasegawa
But man...
[07:39] Hasegawa
The treatment here really hurts.
[07:46] Gintoki
O-Oh, really...
[07:49] Gintoki
I hate those month-long
treatments that require
[07:50] ---
you to keep going back to the dentist.
[07:52] Gintoki
I heard that they did
it in one shot here.
[07:55] Hasegawa
Sure, they're fast, but it hurts.
[07:59] Hasegawa
I felt like screaming so many times.
[08:01] Assistant
Hasegawa-san!
[08:03] Assistant
Are you finished?
[08:04] Hasegawa
Oh, sorry! I'm on my way.
[08:06] Hasegawa
I'll be going then.
[08:08] Hasegawa
You'd better prepare yourselves.
[08:14] Gintoki
I-I see...
[08:16] Gintoki
It hurts...
[08:17] Gintoki
W-Well, dental treatments are
supposed to hurt.
[08:20] Hijikata
Th-That's right...
[08:22] Hijikata
To the point where you wonder
if it worked if it didn't hurt.
[08:25] Gintoki
Hmm? You look a little pale?
[08:28] Hijikata
Not at all.
[08:30] Assistant
Hasegawa-san, don't struggle!
[08:33] Assistant
It's dangerous so you
have to stay still!
[08:34] Dr. Yabuta
Hold Hasegawa-san down.
[08:36] Dr. Yabuta
Tie him down to the seat.
[08:37] Dr. Yabuta
Ah, yes. Like that.
[08:39] Hijikata
Doesn't this sound a little too painful?
[08:42] Gintoki
What kind of treatment is this?!
[08:45] Assistant
Doctor! Hasegawa-san's pulse!
[08:47] Dr. Yabuta
Perform CPR. If it doesn't work,
bring out the defibrillator.
[08:50] Hijikata
Defibrillator?!
[08:51] Hijikata
Why would a dentist need that?!
[08:52] Assistant
Doctor! His pulse is back,
[08:54] Assistant
but the shock threw "that" loose!
[08:56] Gintoki
Threw "that" loose?!
[08:57] Gintoki
What's "that"?! What's loose?!
[08:59] Dr. Yabuta
Oh, it's okay. We won't
be using that again.
[09:01] Dr. Yabuta
Dip it in the ponzu sauce.
SIGN [Note: Ponzu sauce is a citrus based sauce often used as dip for shabu-shabu.]
[09:02] Gintoki
Dip it in the ponzu sauce?!
[09:03] Gintoki
What are they doing?!
[09:04] Assistant
Wouldn't this go better
with sesame sauce, Doc?
[09:07] Hijikata
Sesame sauce?!
[09:08] Hijikata
Are they having shabu-shabu?!
[09:09] Hijikata
They're having shabu-shabu, right?!
[09:11] Dr. Yabuta
Okay, that should do it.
[09:12] Hijikata
It's over?!
[09:13] Hijikata
They finished it with a ponzu sauce?!
[09:15] Dr. Yabuta
How do you feel, Hasegawa-san?
[09:17] Hasegawa
Man, it's like the
pain's completely gone.
[09:20] Gintoki
Not just your pain, but like a part
of your body's also gone!
[09:22] Gintoki
It's been dunked in ponzu sauce!
[09:24] Dr. Yabuta
You'll be able to eat anything you
want now, just like before.
[09:27] Hasegawa
Man... Thank you very much, Doc.
[09:31] Assistant
We've included some painkillers and
a toothbrush specially made by us.
[09:35] Hasegawa
Thanks for being so considerate.
[09:38] Assistant
Take care now.
[09:39] Hasegawa
Thank you very much!
[09:43] Hasegawa
Man, I'm completely better now.
[09:46] Hasegawa
It was damn painful, but the
dentist was pretty good.
[09:49] Hasegawa
Look, they even included a toothbrush!
[09:54] Both
Included as in literally included?!
[09:57] Gintoki
Wait!
[09:58] Gintoki
Your teeth are fine now, but you lost
something more important instead?!
[10:01] Hijikata
That's way beyond an
equivalent exchange!
[10:03] Nurse A
You should come in for a new toothbrush
if the bristles wear out.
[10:06] Hasegawa
May I say something...?
[10:08] Gintoki
Yeah! Speak your mind! Sue them!
[10:10] Hijikata
That's one crazy quack!
[10:12] Hasegawa
I need a hard toothbrush
to get the job done.
[10:15] Both
That's not the issue here!
[10:17] Nurse A
Yes, no problem.
[10:18] Nurse A
We included a hard toothbrush
on your crotch to be safe.
[10:21] Nurse A
It'll get hard when you
play around with it.
[10:23] Gintoki
That's not the point!!
[10:25] Gintoki
How are you supposed to
brush your teeth with it?!
[10:27] Gintoki
Only your wife can reach down
there to brush with it!
[10:28] Dr. Yabuta
Well, you take care now.
[10:32] Kondo
Oh, it's Toshi!
[10:33] Kondo
You guys are also here to get treated?
[10:35] Hijikata
Kondo-san...
[10:36] Kondo
Man, this dentist does good work!
[10:39] Kondo
I'm completely better now!
[10:40] Kondo
They even included an...
[10:42] Kondo
electric toothbrush.
[10:45] Hijikata
Electric toothbrush...?
[10:47] Gintoki
Isn't that Hasegawa-san's arm?
[10:50] Kondo
Well, it smells like ponzu sauce,
but it's pretty useful.
[10:53] Gintoki
Hey! It's obviously Hasegawa-san's!
[10:56] Hasegawa
Really? I don't like the idea of
letting machines do the work.
[11:00] Hasegawa
You have to brush your teeth
with your own hands.
[11:02] Hijikata
Yeah, that'd be your hand right there.
[11:04] Hijikata
And hasn't your hand been
replaced by a toothbrush?
[11:06] Nurse A
If Hasega...
[11:08] Nurse A
The electric toothbrush starts to rot,
please come in to get it replaced.
[11:11] Gintoki
She was about to say Hasegawa-san's
arm, wasn't she?!
[11:13] Kondo
Excuse me...
[11:14] Kondo
I'm having a hard time getting
the brush to reach my mouth.
[11:17] Kondo
Is that okay?
[11:19] Nurse A
It's fine.
[11:20] Nurse A
If it doesn't reach, use a toothbrush in
your own hand to brush your teeth.
[11:23] Hijikata
Why'd you include the arm then?!
[11:25] Hijikata
That's just harassment!
[11:26] Nurse A
Take care now, you two.
[11:29] Gintoki
Take care, my ass!
[11:30] Gintoki
Why don't you take care
of your patients first?!
[11:33] Hijikata
This isn't dental care. They're
modifying your body!
[11:37] Gintoki
This dentist is crazy!
[11:39] Gintoki
It's way too insane!
[11:48] Hijikata
H-Hey...
[11:49] Hijikata
What are you doing? Get outta here!
[11:52] Hijikata
This is no dental clinic.
[11:54] Hijikata
It's Shocker HQ.
SIGN [Note: An Evil organization from the Kamen Rider series.
Shocker performs modification operations that
gives the subject superhuman fighting abilities.]
[11:55] Gintoki
Stop being stubborn and scram.
[11:57] Gintoki
Hey, what are you doing?
[11:59] Gintoki
Go home, please!
[12:00] Gintoki
I'll give you 300 yen.
[12:01] Hijikata
What's wrong with this guy?
Why doesn't he run?
[12:04] Gintoki
Get a clue!
[12:05] Gintoki
I can't leave until you do, fool!
[12:09] Nurse A
Could the next patients
please step inside.
[12:11] Nurse A
Two at a time.
[12:13] Hijikata
No way. You're kidding.
[12:15] Gintoki
Are we seriously going?
[12:17] Gintoki
Well, let's see how deep
that drill will go this time.
[12:22] Gintoki
Will it reach my soul?
[12:24] Gintoki
No! I don't wanna go!
[12:26] Gintoki
How would a drill reach my soul?!
[12:28] Gintoki
I have no idea what I'm saying!
[12:30] Hijikata
Why do people dig?
[12:32] Hijikata
Because they have drills.
[12:34] Hijikata
What was that?!
[12:36] Hijikata
Am I an idiot?! An idiot?!
[12:38] Hijikata
Stop pretending to be
a man and run for it!
[12:41] Gintoki
Hey! Somebody!
[12:43] Hijikata
Anybody!
[12:44] Both
Stop us!!
[12:49] Dr. Yabuta
Hello.
[12:51] Dr. Yabuta
I'm Yabuta of the Namu dental clinic.
[12:53] Dr. Yabuta
Sakata-san and Hijikata-san, right?
[12:55] Dr. Yabuta
I'll be taking care of you today.
[12:57] Dr. Yabuta
Don't be so nervous.
[13:00] Dr. Yabuta
It won't hurt.
[13:01] Dr. Yabuta
Well, just relax. C'mon, relax.
[13:06] Both
A-A crime scene?!
[13:09] Gintoki
Is a dental operation room supposed
to be this red?
[13:11] Gintoki
Wasn't it supposed to be whiter?
[13:13] Gintoki
All spic-and-span?
[13:15] Hijikata
Was dental care always so bloody?
[13:18] Hijikata
Weren't the instruments more compact?
[13:20] Hijikata
Was there a chainsaw involved?
[13:26] Both
Is this how going to
the dentist was like?!
[13:30] Dr. Yabuta
Well, you've both got
some swollen faces.
[13:33] Dr. Yabuta
Why did you leave it alone so long?
[13:35] Dr. Yabuta
That's no good.
[13:36] Dr. Yabuta
The mouth is like the
entrance to a human.
[13:40] Dr. Yabuta
Also the first step to
getting to know a person.
[13:43] Dr. Yabuta
You can judge a person by their teeth.
[13:48] Dr. Yabuta
Yeah, most people with
dirty teeth are slobs.
[13:51] Dr. Yabuta
People who keep their teeth clean
[13:53] ---
probably listened to their parents.
[13:56] Dr. Yabuta
Yep, that's why I always tell my
young patients the following.
[14:01] Dr. Yabuta
When you go on a group date, looks
and personality don't matter.
[14:05] Dr. Yabuta
Check their boobs first.
[14:08] Both
Doc, the door to your entrance
has fallen off its hinges...
[14:12] Dr. Yabuta
You can judge a person
after seeing their boobs.
[14:15] Hijikata
This Doc is terrible!
[14:16] Dr. Yabuta
Women with big areolae
on their breasts have big
[14:18] Hijikata
He's talking about boobs!
[14:20] Gintoki
The door's fallen loose,
[14:20] ---
hearts that are more
forgiving of adultery.
[14:21] Gintoki
and there's a toilet-like
smell coming out!
[14:24] Gintoki
Like Niwa-kun's place where you go
[14:26] ---
in the door and it smells like a toilet!
[14:27] Gintoki
The toilet is his entrance!
[14:30] Dr. Yabuta
And women with small areolae on
their breasts tend to be smothering.
[14:34] Dr. Yabuta
You've gotta be careful.
[14:35] Hijikata
Nobody would want to smother you!
[14:38] Dr. Yabuta
Areolae are the key to women.
[14:40] Dr. Yabuta
Nothing else matters.
[14:41] Gintoki
What kind of a group date would involve
looking at their areolae?!
[14:43] Gintoki
What kind of group date did you go to?!
[14:47] Dr. Yabuta
Okay...
[14:48] Dr. Yabuta
Let's get down to business.
[14:50] Dr. Yabuta
I'll have an assistant take
a quick look at you.
[14:53] Dr. Yabuta
Well, it's possible that my assistants
will be able to take care of you.
[14:57] Gintoki
G-Good... He's not doing the treatment.
[15:01] Dr. Yabuta
Hey! You two!
[15:04] ---
Yes!
[15:04] Nakayama
Yes.
[15:09] Dr. Yabuta
Nakayama-san and Battle
Fairy Shazzan-san.
[15:12] Dr. Yabuta
Which do you want?
[15:13] Gintoki
Nakayama-san!
[15:14] Hijikata
Definitely Nakayama-san!
[15:16] Gintoki
Anybody but Shazzan-san!
[15:18] Nakayama
Ooh, what to do?
[15:20] Nakayama
Which one do you like?
[15:21] Nakayama
I prefer the one with black hair.
[15:23] Hijikata
And what the hell is that?
[15:24] Hijikata
Why is Battle Fairy Shazzan
working in a dental clinic?!
[15:27] Hijikata
What the hell is Battle Fairy Shazzan?!
[15:28] Dr. Yabuta
Which do you want to look at you?
[15:30] Both
I want Nakayama-san!
[15:30] Both
I want Nakayama-san!
[15:32] Dr. Yabuta
Sakata-san was a little faster.
[15:35] Dr. Yabuta
Then Sakata-san will
have Nakayama-san.
[15:36] Hijikata
Wait!
[15:37] Hijikata
Uh, hold on!
[15:39] Gintoki
Right on...
[15:40] Gintoki
I dodged a bullet there.
[15:44] Nakayama
The name's Nakayama.
[15:45] Nakayama
I'll be taking care of you, Sakata-san.
[15:48] Gintoki
Y-You're Nakayama?!
[15:51] Gintoki
Wait!
[15:52] Gintoki
Hold on!
[15:53] Gintoki
You totally look like a
Battle Fairy Shazzan!
[15:55] Gintoki
You're obviously not Nakayama-san!
[15:58] Hijikata
Suck on that.
[16:00] Hijikata
I don't know what's going on,
[16:00] Hijikata
but I guess this lady was Battle
Fairy Shazzan-san.
[16:05] Hijikata
W-Well, I'm all yours, Shazzan-san.
[16:17] Shazzan
I am Battle Fairy Shazzan.
[16:19] Shazzan
I'll be taking care of you.
[16:21] Hijikata
Why?!
[16:24] Assistant
Well, Nakayama-san, Shazzan-san,
do your best.
[16:26] Both
Roger.
[16:27] Hijikata
So Nakayama-san and Shazzan-san
are both battle fairies?!
[16:31] Nakayama
Then, we shall explain this
[16:33] ---
clinic's system before we commence treatment.
[16:36] Gintoki
Before you do that, explain how you've
ended up as battle fairies!
[16:40] Shazzan
Our clinic will treat
your dental maladies,
[16:42] Shazzan
and also provide operating services
to prevent any future cavities.
[16:46] Hijikata
That's way beyond a dentist's job!
[16:49] Nakayama
Then we'll move on to an explanation
of your options.
[16:53] Nakayama
Option A provides
treatment of your cavity
[16:55] ---
and surgery to modify your body.
[16:57] Nakayama
Option B provides surgery
to modify your body
[16:59] ---
and comes with free drinks.
[17:01] Gintoki
Option B has nothing
to do with my teeth!
[17:04] Gintoki
Why are there free drinks?!
[17:06] Gintoki
Uh, excuse me.
[17:07] Gintoki
Isn't there an option that skips
[17:09] ---
the surgery
and gets my cavity treated?
[17:11] Nakayama
You'll save money by choosing Option A
[17:12] ---
instead of getting the treatment and surgery separately.
[17:16] Gintoki
No, I don't want the surgery.
[17:18] Gintoki
I just want to get this cavity treated!
[17:20] Nakayama
Then I would recommend
either Option Z or X.
[17:24] Gintoki
What are those?
[17:25] Nakayama
Option Z includes a massage when
you get your cavity treated.
[17:30] Nakayama
Option X includes a salad bar
when you get treatment.
[17:33] Gintoki
A-Ah, then I'll take Option Z.
[17:36] Nakayama
With the massage?
[17:38] Gintoki
Yea, whatever. That'll do.
[17:40] Nakayama
Roger.
[17:41] Gintoki
Whew... I managed to avoid the surgery.
[17:48] Betty
I'm Betty. I'll be taking
care of you, boss.
[17:52] Gintoki
They attached a massage girl!
[17:55] Gintoki
I ended up getting modified!
[17:57] Gintoki
And this has nothing to do
with preventing cavities!
[18:00] Gintoki
This thing has no intention
of doing its job!
[18:02] Gintoki
Couldn't they give me a higher
quality girl at least?!
[18:07] Nakayama
Allow me to explain.
[18:09] Nakayama
Pleasure Fort Betty and Sakata-san
[18:11] ---
have been neurologically connected,
[18:13] Nakayama
which means that the robot
Pleasure Fort Betty
[18:16] Nakayama
appears as an actual massage
girl to Sakata-san.
SIGN [In Actuality]
SIGN [Through Gintoki's Eyes]
[18:20] Nakayama
Our service is perfect.
[18:22] Hijikata
That was close!
[18:24] Hijikata
I was about to end up the same way!
[18:27] Hijikata
But I already learned
that I should think
[18:29] ---
carefully from the battle fairy deal.
[18:32] Hijikata
Option X!
[18:33] Hijikata
Treatment with a salad bar service.
[18:35] Hijikata
This is the right answer.
[18:37] Hijikata
Uh, I'll have Option X.
[18:41] Shazzan
Roger.
[18:42] Hijikata
No way you can attach
a salad bar to a body.
[18:46] Hijikata
Thanks. Your failure saved me
from making the same mistake.
SIGN [Note: "Baa" here is used to mean "old lady" not "bar"]
[18:57] Hijikata
Th-They gave me a Salad Baa!
[19:00] Hijikata
They got me!
SIGN [In Actuality]
[19:01] Hijikata
This is what they meant
by a "salad bar"?!
[19:03] Hijikata
And what's the point of this?!
[19:05] Hijikata
She's just sitting there eating salad!
SIGN [Through Hijikata's Eyes]
[19:07] Hijikata
And she's using dressing
instead of mayonnaise!
[19:10] Hijikata
This just sucks!
[19:11] Hijikata
I'll have to watch this old
lady eat salad without
[19:13] ---
mayo for the rest of my life?!
[19:16] Nakayama
Okay, that should take care
of the preparations.
[19:18] Gintoki
Preparations?!
[19:19] Gintoki
What could this possibly
prepare us for?!
[19:21] Shazzan
Then we'll begin the actual
treatment now.
[19:24] Hijikata
Treat my body before you treat my teeth!
[19:27] Hijikata
Give me back my original body!
[19:28] Nakayama
Open wide.
[19:30] Nakayama
Please relax.
[19:32] Nakayama
There's nothing to be scared of.
[19:34] Gintoki
You're damn scary!
[19:36] Shazzan
Open wide.
[19:38] Shazzan
Your face will be blown
off if it touches the drill.
[19:41] Hijikata
That huge-ass drill
can't fit in my mouth!
[19:48] Nakayama
Don't worry.
[19:49] Nakayama
The modifications mean that your body
[19:51] ---
will suffer less from the treatment.
[19:54] Shazzan
Well? There shouldn't be much pain.
[19:58] Gintoki
Now that you mention it...
[20:00] Hijikata
It doesn't hurt at all.
[20:02] Nakayama
Our clinic specializes in swift care,
[20:04] Nakayama
but that puts a heavier
burden on the patient.
[20:07] Shazzan
The surgery modifies
your body to cope with
[20:11] ---
the care and allow for safe treatment.
[20:15] Gintoki
Uh, safe?
[20:17] Gintoki
This stopped being safe when
you modified our bodies!
[20:20] Both
Hold on a second...
[20:23] Both
Is all the damage being
shifted over to them?!
[20:26] Shazzan
They bear most of the pain,
so relax as we treat you.
SIGN [Through Hijikata's Eyes]
[20:31] Hijikata
Uh, that's no ordinary pain.
[20:34] Hijikata
It's pretty hard to relax
while that's going on.
SIGN [In Actuality]
[20:37] Nakayama
If it weren't for them, you would
be feeling even more pain.
SIGN [Through Gintoki's Eyes]
[20:41] Gintoki
So we don't feel any pain,
[20:43] ---
but whatever's happening
to our body causes that much pain?
SIGN [In Actuality]
[20:45] Gintoki
Is that okay?! Huh?!
SIGN [Through Gintoki's Eyes]
[20:46] Gintoki
No! Stop!
[20:48] Gintoki
Don't look at me like that!
SIGN [In Actuality]
[20:50] Gintoki
What? Is it my fault?!
[20:51] Gintoki
Was I wrong?!
SIGN [Through Hijikata's Eyes]
[20:53] Hijikata
This isn't my fault.
SIGN [In Actuality]
[20:55] Hijikata
Yeah, I have nothing to do with this!
[20:58] Gintoki
Huh? What is this?
[21:00] Gintoki
I've got this weird image in my mind.
[21:03] Gintoki
Hey! What is this?
[21:04] Gintoki
Like my life is flashing before my eyes?
[21:06] Gintoki
Or is this Betty's life?
[21:08] Gintoki
And what's with the fake memories?!
[21:11] Gintoki
I don't remember anything
like that happening!
[21:13] Gintoki
Stop! Don't show me that creepy stuff!
[21:15] Gintoki
I didn't do anything wrong!
[21:16] Gintoki
This has nothing to do with me!
[21:17] Gintoki
I'm the one who was modified
and getting screwed!
[21:21] Hijikata
Huh? What is this?
[21:22] Hijikata
Strange images are flowing
into my mind.
[21:26] Hijikata
Hey, are these flashbacks...?
[21:28] Hijikata
The salad old lady's life is
flashing before my eyes?!
[21:30] Hijikata
And she has no actual memories!
[21:32] Hijikata
It's all about vegetables!
[21:34] Hijikata
Are you okay with this?!
[21:36] Hijikata
Dying without any decent memories...
[21:37] Hijikata
No, I want to get my cavity treated.
[21:40] Hijikata
I don't give a damn about
a salad old lady!
[21:43] Both
It's not my fault! It's not my
fault! It's not my fault!
[21:47] Both
It's not my fault! It's not my
fault! It's not my fault!
[21:50] Both
Yeah!
[21:51] Both
We didn't do anything...
[21:53] Both
WROOOOOONG!!
[21:58] Nurse B
Um, excuse me.
[22:00] Nurse B
This isn't a dental clinic.
[22:04] Gintoki
I know.
[22:05] Nurse B
Well, you obviously have cavities.
[22:08] Nurse B
You should go see a dentist.
[22:10] Hijikata
We don't care about the cavities.
[22:12] Hijikata
It'll rot and fall out soon enough.
[22:14] Nurse B
Then why are you here?
[22:19] Both
Please fix her...
[22:19] Both
Please fix her...
[22:21] ---
[23:55] Kagura
Good job on the storyboard, gorilla.
[23:58] Kagura
What? You hurt yourself celebrating last week?
[24:02] Kagura
Yeah, I'm not saying a word.
E256.C - Gintama Classic - Why Not Talk About the Old Days for a Change?
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:16] TANAKAWOMANMAN IN BLACK A
Welcome home, Ojiki!
[00:18] TANAKA
Hey, where's sis?
[00:19] MAN IN BLACK A
She's waiting upstairs.
[00:26] WOMAN A
Papa! Papa!
[00:33] WOMAN C
What?! Tanaka?!
[00:35] WOMAN C
You idiot! Don't just stand there!
Bring me the head of the guy who did it!
[00:39] MAN IN BLACK B
S-Sorry.
[00:41] WOMAN C
You little turd.
[00:42] STAINLESS BOY
Sis, allow me to be of assistance.
[00:47] MAN IN BLACK C
You two! Go that way!
[00:49] MEN IN BLACK
Yes!
[00:54] MAN IN BLACK D
Hey!
[00:55] MAN IN BLACK D
Why are you sneaking
around? Show yourself!
[01:05] STAINLESS BOY
That psychogun attached to your arm...
you're the Black Dragon, aren't you?
[01:15] STAINLESS BOY
Do you know why they
call me Stainless Boy?
[01:18] STAINLESS BOY
That's because my body is made of a
specially armored stainless steel.
[01:22] STAINLESS BOY
That psychogun on your arm is useless.
[01:27] KANEMARU (mono)
That's right. I'm the Black Dragon.
[01:31] KANEMARU (mono)
The man with a gun for a right hand.
[01:32] KANEMARU (mono)
In a mad dash to kill me, they've
done everything they can.
[01:37] KANEMARU (mono)
In front of me, somebody
dies all the time.
[01:42] KANEMARU (mono)
Someone always fires
a gun, but you know,
[01:45] KANEMARU (mono)
I really got sick and tired
of that too much stupid days.
[01:50] KANEMARU (mono)
I threw away my face at all,
and got rid of my past,
[01:56] KANEMARU (mono)
too the silly, funny, and bloody days...
SIGN [Thanks for everything this year. Here's wishing for a prosperous new year! From Snack Otose]
[03:51] SHINPACHI
What? It's not dondake?
I was sure it would win.
SIGN [Snack House Otose]
[03:56] SHINPACHI
the Space Buzzword Grand Prix this year.
[03:58] KAGURA
It won in Edo, but, it's not even
in the top 50. Space is big.
[04:04] KAGURA
Umm... What was fourth
place? Smegma Prince?
[04:08] SHINPACHI
Ah. This year we still have
that senseless "prince" boom.
[04:12] KAGURA
Oh. Huh? "Prince" is at number eight.
[04:14] KAGURA
I believe number four is
"Where are the EXLE CDs?"
[04:19] SHINPACHI
What is that? Is that really popular?
[04:21] KAGURA
Third place is "My grandson asked me."
[04:25] SHINPACHI
Why are fourth place and
third place connected?
[04:27] SHINPACHI
It sounds just like an old lady is
trying to get an EXLE CD for her grandson.
[04:32] SHINPACHI
That grandson should buy his own CD.
[04:35] SHINPACHI
There's no way that an old
lady would know about EXLE.
[04:37] KAGURA
Oh, yeah, "There's no way an old lady
would know..." was number thirteen.
[04:41] SHINPACHI
Why are comments included
in the ranking?!
[04:43] KAGURA
Number two is... Huh? I can't remember.
[04:47] ---
I think number one is, "B'z
are gonna be all right."
[04:50] SHINPACHI
Don't give up!
[04:52] SHINPACHI
Why did you give up and
buy something else?
[04:54] SHINPACHI
Besides, B'z and EXLE are
completely different musically!
[04:58] ---
What in the world
happened at number two?!
[05:03] KAGURA
Shinpachi, this is what
happens when you yell.
[05:04] SHINPACHI
Why is it my fault?
[05:08] KAGURA
What is it? Is there an EXLE CD?
[05:11] SHINPACHI
A photo came out from
behind the picture frame.
[05:13] SHINPACHI
It looks like a pretty old photo.
[05:17] SHINPACHI
Who is she?
[05:19] SHINPACHI
Could it be?
[05:20] KAGURA
It's his ex, isn't it?
[05:22] SHINPACHI
Huh? You think so? Yeah?
[05:25] KAGURA
There's no mistake.
[05:26] KAGURA
That lascivious air about them...
[05:28] KAGURA
They must've had a wet,
sticky, lusty relationship.
[05:31] KAGURA
It's pretty effeminate of him to
cling to this picture. Isn't it?
[05:37] SHINPACHI
Let's put it back now!
Put it back, quickly!
[05:40] ---
We've got to put it back
before Gin comes back!
[05:41] ---
He'll freak if he finds out we saw this.
[05:43] ---
This makes a mother catching her son
doing something nasty seem pale in comparison!
[05:47] SHINPACHI
Quickly! Quickly!
[05:48] GINTOKI
Hey. I bought some detergent.
[05:50] SHINPACHI
Gin's here! Hurry! Kagura! Quickly!
[05:53] KAGURA
Shut up! I'm putting it back now.
[06:03] SHINPACHI
Oh! W-Well...
[06:06] SHINPACHI
Gin! It's not like that! Umm...
We didn't see anything!
[06:10] SHINPACHI
We don't know anything!
[06:12] KAGURA
Why are you still dragging that around?
[06:13] KAGURA
That woman probably doesn't
even remember you.
[06:17] SHINPACHI
K-Kagura?!
[06:19] GINTOKI
Hey. What a great little
piece of nostalgia.
[06:23] GINTOKI
Where did you find this?
[06:24] SHINPACHI
Well, while we were cleaning...it came
out from behind the picture frame.
[06:28] GINTOKI
I see. So that's where it was.
[06:31] SHINPACHI
Huh? You seem kind of indifferent...
But, huh? What is that? Who is that?
[06:37] KAGURA
That...
[06:39] GINTOKI
What is it? It's one of the Odd Jobs.
[06:42] SHINPACHI
Huh? "It's one the Odd Jobs"?
But we're the Odd Jobs.
[06:46] GINTOKI
Now we are.
[06:47] SHINPACHI
"Now we are"?
[06:49] KAGURAGINTOKI
If anything, we're the new Odd Jobs.
[06:52] ---
This was a prototype.
[06:54] SHINPACHI
A p-p-p-prototype? Hold on.
You never told me about that!
[06:58] GINTOKI
Huh? Didn't I tell you about it?
SIGN ["Let's Talk About The Old Days Once In A While"]
[07:12] GINTOKI
Basically, this was before you joined. It
was around the time when I set this all up.
[07:16] GINTOKI
It was a time when I had, not
you, but different friends.
[07:24] SHINPACHI
You said before that you
had done this by yourself.
[07:27] GINTOKI
Did I?
[07:29] SHINPACHI
When we met, you were
definitely by yourself.
[07:33] GINTOKI
In this business I do whatever
people ask me to do.
[07:37] SHINPACHI
Setting up a new premise is problematic.
[07:40] SHINPACHI
We've already got 137
episodes to deal with.
[07:45] GINTOKI
Anyway, I basically work alone. But for
short periods of time, I did it like that.
[07:51] GINTOKI
Inoue and Okuda also
had times like that.
[07:55] SHINPACHI
Never heard of 'em. Who are they?
[07:57] GINTOKI
Anyway, a lot happens to adults.
[08:01] SHINPACHI
It feels kind of refreshing.
[08:03] SHINPACHI
I never knew we had more
senior predecessors.
[08:05] GINTOKI
Senior? It's not that special.
[08:09] GINTOKI
It was just a temporary arrangement.
We split up immediately.
[08:11] SHINPACHI
Huh? Then does that mean that that
sensual beauty was also a member of Odd Jobs?
[08:16] KAGURA
What do you mean, "sensual?"
That's gross, Shinpachi.
[08:20] GINTOKI
She wasn't really a member,
sort of a semi-regular.
[08:24] GINTOKI
The closest comparison
now would be Catherine.
[08:26] KAGURA
Catherine?!
[08:28] SHINPACHI
This is Catherine?
[08:30] GINTOKI
Well, she used to work
at Granny's place.
[08:33] GINTOKI
She'd come to clean up once in a while.
[08:35] GINTOKI
She'd help with the Odd Jobs
office work and accounting.
[08:39] GINTOKI
She was a good woman who'd look
after you. Unlike Catherine.
[08:44] GINTOKI
How nostalgic...
[08:46] SHINPACHI
Catherine's job was a lot
better back then, wasn't it?
[08:50] GINTOKI
Well, it was the good old days.
[08:52] SHINPACHI
Tell us more. What about us?
Who filled our positions?
[08:58] KAGURA
I want to know. They probably
don't compare to us, though.
[09:02] GINTOKI
The Odd Jobs hasn't changed
at all. We worked in trios.
[09:06] SHINPACHI
Oh? Trios?
[09:08] GINTOKI
They were useless lumps just like you.
[09:11] ---
Oh, here. I have a picture. Here.
[09:13] ---
This guy had your job.
[09:15] ---
Kanemaru, a four-eyed good-for-nothing
whose job it was to make witty jokes.
[09:21] SHINPACHI
Kanemaru's totally high-end!
[09:23] SHINPACHI
What is this?! He doesn't look
like a "Kanemaru" at all!
[09:26] SHINPACHI
He's a "brother"! He looks like
he's straight out of downtown LA.
[09:31] GINTOKI
Naw, he sucked. He had a psychogun for a
right hand, but he couldn't use it at all.
[09:37] SHINPACHI
I bet he could use it! No matter how I
look at it, he had to have been able to use it!
[09:40] GINTOKI
Kanemaru worked as a no-account waiter.
[09:44] GINTOKI
He lived an uneventful life.
[09:47] GINTOKI
But when he got into a virtual
simulator to unwind he remembered his true past.
[09:53] SHINPACHI
What's with the expository
tone of voice?
[09:55] SHINPACHI
Besides, we already know that
setup. We know it really well!
[10:04] GINTOKI
Kanemaru was so feared in the
underworld that his nickname was Black Dragon.
[10:12] KANEMARU
Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
[10:14] KANEMARU
Fuck you!
[10:16] GINTOKI
Indeed, his fighting abilities
surpassed everyone else's.
[10:20] ---
After that, he ended up working here.
[10:24] SHINPACHI
But I don't really understand what
"after that" is referring to. What is "that"?
[10:29] GINTOKI
Well, a lot of things. This and that.
[10:32] SHINPACHI
But what's "this and that"?
[10:33] GINTOKI
Adult stuff. You don't want to go there.
[10:37] SHINPACHI
Oh, okay. Sorry. So how was Kanemaru?
[10:40] GINTOKI
He wasn't bad. What sucked
were...his witty jokes.
[10:45] SHINPACHI
Ah... I see.
[10:47] GINTOKI
It's just not the Odd Jobs
without any witty repartee.
[10:50] SHINPACHI
Well, he was a foreigner. What could
you do? There's a language barrier.
[10:54] GINTOKI
Yes. I remember he surprised me once
when we were at a family restaurant.
[11:01] GINTOKI
We ordered lasagna and chazuke, but...
[11:04] WAITRESS
Thank you for waiting.
[11:05] GINTOKI
The waiter gave me the lasagna
[11:10] GINTOKI
and gave him the chazuke.
[11:12] SHINPACHI
Huh? She gave the chazuke to Kanemaru?
[11:15] GINTOKI
Yes.
[11:15] GINTOKI
So I had a lasagna that
Girolamo or Lana would love.
[11:20] WAITRESS
Is everything all right?
[11:23] SHINPACHI
Aw... You better say something
about that, Kanemaru.
[11:26] SHINPACHI
Read the situation. Say, "Do
I look like I eat chazuke?!"
[11:29] KANEMARU
Oh, shit! Oh my god!
[11:32] KAGURA
It's no good. He's only saying western
words, like "fuck you," or "oh my god."
[11:37] KAGURA
It's impossible for a foreigner.
[11:39] KAGURA
Shinpachi is the best at
making witty comments.
[11:40] KANEMARU
Miss, I asked fer ume
chazuke, not sake chazuke.
[11:46] SHINPACHI
He can speak Japanese?!
[11:47] WAITRESS
I'm sorry. I'll exchange it.
[11:50] SHINPACHI
Hey, Kanemaru is the one
who's ordering chazuke!
[11:52] KANEMARU
No biggie. Just be
careful the next time.
[11:55] SHINPACHI
That aside, why are you eating lasagna?
It's usually the other way around!
[11:59] KANEMARU
Ah... Japanese people
love chazuke the most!
[12:03] KANEMARU
Hey, who am I calling Japanese?!
[12:05] SHINPACHI
That's top class! It's
a well-made remark.
[12:07] SHINPACHI
It's like a witty comment
from Kansai itself!
[12:08] GINTOKI
Kanemaru was from the Kansai region.
[12:11] GINTOKI
His grandmother was Japanese so
he was into Enka and Dotonbori.
[12:16] SHINPACHI
What, is he Jero?!
[12:18] GINTOKI
Kamemaru always used to say, "I'm not a
Japanese person. I'm a Kansai person."
[12:23] SHINPACHI
No such Kansai person
exists. He has a psychogun!
[12:28] SHINPACHI
I've lost all confidence.
[12:30] ---
He's got me beat coming and going.
[12:32] KAGURA
Well, anyone could fill your
position if he wanted to.
[12:37] ---
There wasn't anyone in
my place, was there, Gin?
[12:40] GINTOKI
There was someone who filled
the Kagura position.
[12:43] KAGURA
What?!
[12:43] GINTOKI
Here. The dazzling Ikezawa.
[12:46] SHINPACHI
He's almost exactly like the other guy!
[12:48] ---
How is he dazzling?!
[12:50] KAGURA
Just what the hell do you think my job
here is, you naturally-wavy-haired bastard!
[12:53] KAGURA
I'll squirt ya with juice
from this tangerine!
[12:56] GINTOKI
Ow! It got in my eye.
[12:58] SHINPACHI
And why the hell are all of your
people armed with psychoguns?!
[13:01] GINTOKI
Oh, sorry. My bad.
[13:04] GINTOKI
This is Furuhashi. He filled
the Sadaharu position.
[13:07] SHINPACHI
This isn't getting any easier!
[13:09] GINTOKI
Furuhashi was like a mascot for us.
[13:13] GINTOKI
He had a very charming personality. His
only flaw was his monstrous appetite.
[13:18] ---
But he was a cute mascot.
[13:21] SHINPACHI
I don't want a mascot like him. He
isn't all that different from Kanemaru!
[13:24] GINTOKI
Sorry. My mistake. Here's Kagura's spot.
[13:28] GINTOKI
The dazzling Ikezawa.
[13:32] SHINPACHI
She's pretty cute. Aren't
you glad, Kagura?
[13:35] KAGURA
She's not all that. She's just female.
[13:38] KAGURA
You have no regard for my position if
you think she could stand-in for me!
[13:43] GINTOKI
No, I'm not talking about her.
[13:46] KAGURAKAGURA
She's the same thing!
[13:50] KAGURA
She just has a sake bottle instead of
a psychogun! Gimme a freakin' break!
[13:55] KAGURA
How is this me?!
[13:57] GINTOKI
Calm down. Ikezawa used
to be a housewife.
[14:02] GINTOKI
But her husband began cheating on
her at work and never came home.
[14:07] GINTOKI
So she became a drunk. After that,
she'd always say "uh-huh" just like Kagura.
[14:13] IKEZAWA
Alcohol! Alcohol, please!
[14:16] IKEZAWA
Hey! Alcohol, please.
[14:19] KAGURA
What kind of use of "uh-huh" is that?!
[14:21] GINTOKI
Don't worry. Ikezawa
doesn't drink anymore.
[14:24] GINTOKI
She recovered and she's getting alimony.
[14:26] KAGURA
What about that?
[14:29] SHINPACHI
Anyway, what kind of Odd Jobbers
are these people anyway?!
[14:31] SHINPACHI
It's just full of Kanemarus!
It wouldn't sell.
[14:33] SHINPACHI
They'd never turn this into an anime.
[14:35] GINTOKI
Really? When Hedoro was on the
cover, they said it wouldn't sell.
[14:40] ---
But when Kanemaru was on the cover,
[14:43] ---
we sold [censored] thousand
copies of the first print.
[14:45] ---
It's totally copacetic.
Even the anime...
[14:49] KANEMARU
You bastards! Do you see this old man?!
[14:54] IKEZAWA
That's my pickled seaweed!
[15:00] GINTOKI
Hey... What are you eating?!
[15:02] GINTOKI
Perhaps something like that?
[15:04] KANEMARU
I don't want to see my sister
off while she's in tears.
[15:11] IKEZAWA
Gin, what'll we do if
she really is in love?
[15:15] IKEZAWA
We'll be the villains.
[15:17] GINTOKI
You're used to being
a villain, aren't you?
[15:19] GINTOKI
And also getting in people's
way... Kanemaru, remember that.
[15:26] GINTOKI
We're not allies of justice,
or your sister's allies.
[15:31] GINTOKI
We're your allies!
[15:33] GINTOKI
Something like that.
[15:47] GINTOKI
Take a look at this.
[15:50] SHINPACHI
Her, too?!
[15:53] KAGURAIKEZAWA
Wait!
[15:54] KANEMARU
Tama...
[15:56] IKEZAWAKANEMARU
Gin...
[15:58] GINTOKI
You can't tell the difference.
[16:00] SHINPACHI
There's a huge difference!
[16:02] KAGURAGINTOKI
Don't say that. They're your seniors.
[16:06] KAGURAGINTOKI
They're my precious friends with
whom I shared countless adventures!
[16:11] GINTOKI
Look at this. This is when we caught
the phantom thief that was terrorizing Edo.
[16:15] GINTOKI
That was really tough.
[16:17] GINTOKI
This is when we took down a killer.
The morning sun sure was bright.
[16:22] GINTOKI
This is when we caught a purse-snatcher.
[16:24] GINTOKI
That old lady was in tears when
we brought her stuff back.
[16:28] GINTOKI
This is when we beat up a pervert.
That lady was really grateful.
[16:32] GINTOKI
This is...What was this? That
was the time we did something.
[16:38] GINTOKI
This is... I kind of forgot.
[16:40] GINTOKI
Hmm... I'm not sure.
[16:44] SHINPACHI
They never bonded with you at all!
[16:46] SHINPACHI
They were just wandering around!
They didn't warm up to you at all!
[16:50] GINTOKI
That's not true.
[16:51] GINTOKI
Kids like you might not understand this,
[16:54] GINTOKI
but adults leave this much space between
themselves when they associate with each other.
[16:57] ---
They don't get all touchy, and taking
a piss together is off limits.
[17:00] SHINPACHI
Those two are getting
pretty touchy behind you!
[17:03] KAGURA
Kanemaru and Ikezawa totally
have a thing for each other.
[17:07] SHINPACHI
Looks like those two are bonding,
[17:09] SHINPACHI
leaving Gin by himself.
[17:13] KAGURA
You've become like Parc
Manther from Glope.
[17:16] KAGURA
You're the most Japanese,
but you turned into Parc.
[17:21] GINTOKI
Shut up!
[17:23] ---
I'm not Parc Manther!
I lead the Odd Jobs.
[17:25] GINTOKI
I'm [censored]!
[17:26] SHINPACHI
No. I've never seen such
a lonely [censored].
[17:29] GINTOKI
Don't be silly. I'm [censored].
[17:31] GINTOKI
I don't feel pathetic at all!
[17:33] GINTOKI
I actually supported their
relationship. But as the director of Odd Jobs...
[17:40] GINTOKI
I warned them not to get wrapped up in
their relationship and ignore their work.
[17:46] GINTOKI
Well, young people these days just go to
pieces when you just slap them around a bit,
[17:51] GINTOKI
so before I knew it, they disappeared.
[17:54] SHINPACHI
They didn't just happen to disappear!
[17:55] SHINPACHI
You still have some terrifying pictures!
Black Dragon is drowning here!
[18:00] ---
Well, that's when I decided to
partner up with Furuhashi-san,
[18:03] ---
who was like our mascot.
[18:05] ---
How was he like a mascot?!
[18:06] ---
He's all macho!
[18:08] ---
If you run as a trio,
[18:09] ---
you're stuck with an odd
number to work with.
[18:12] ---
Partners. Duo. Two.
[18:14] ---
That's how to roll.
[18:15] ---
Once we teamed up, it was all like...
[18:18] ---
We were rocking so hard that
City Hunter would be shocked.
[18:22] ---
We were pulled in every direction.
[18:24] ---
That was probably the busiest
I've ever been in my life.
[18:26] ---
You spent all your
time hitting on girls!
[18:29] ---
Hard work doesn't always
pay off in this world.
[18:32] ---
You didn't land a single one?
[18:35] ---
There were times when
we stumbled and fell,
[18:37] ---
but we stood back up
[18:39] ---
because we still had each other.
[18:42] ---
Wait, who took all these pictures?
[18:44] ---
I'm having a hard time
believing that someone would
[18:46] ---
waste their time photographing
a couple dregs.
[19:00] ---
Yeah... The stars were
really pretty that night..
[19:03] SHINPACHI
What are you doing?!
[19:07] SHINPACHI
We were gonna wrap this up all nice,
but it's been filthy all the way through!
[19:11] KAGURA
Don't you have even one
or two nice stories?!
[19:16] SHINPACHI
Now I know that Odd Jobs doesn't
have anything good in its history!
[19:20] KAGURA
If we leave it up to him, he'll take us
straight down the road to destruction!
[19:24] SHINPACHI
Let's handle the Odd Jobs without him.
[19:27] KAGURA
We're going to make history!
[19:29] KAGURA
It's the supporting characters who keep
a series afloat, not the main character!
[19:33] SHINPACHI
That's right. The main character
is just an ornament.
[19:36] SHINPACHI
People in high positions
don't understand that.
[20:03] GINTOKI
Ow, ow, ow. They really kicked my ass!
Don't they know how to hold back?
[20:15] GINTOKI
What is it?
[20:36] GINTOKI
I hope next year will be a good one!
SIGN [A few years later]
[20:46] MANAGER
No, you idiot! Not that one!
It's right there. There!
[20:49] MANAGER
Even a chimp can work a cash register!
[20:53] MANAGER
You're a human, right?
[20:54] MANAGER
You've been here for a year!
How can you not know this?!
[20:58] ---
I...I'm sorry. I've only
pro...practiced long-range fires up till now...
[21:04] MANAGER
You bastard! Still clinging to your gun!
[21:08] MANAGER
I don't care if you're
a hitman or a hit-maker.
[21:10] MANAGER
How long are you going to
act like a cool guy, huh?!
[21:16] KANEMARU
Katana, samurai?!
[21:23] GINTOKI
Blah, blah, blah! Just look at this.
[21:27] GINTOKI
Because of you guys... my
awesome chocolate parfait
[21:30] GINTOKI
spilled on the floor!
[21:34] KANEMARU (mono)
He was called a samurai, but
he was too wild for the norm.
[21:40] KANEMARU (mono)
Even though he was called a hoodlum,
[21:43] KANEMARU (mono)
this man had eyes that were
sharp with seriousness.
[21:48] KANEMARU (mono)
That was my first impression
to the "otoko."
[21:52] GINTOKI
Tell your manager that
this parfait is on you.
[23:26] Gin
The second movie will
be released next year.
[23:29] Gin
Thank you, gorilla author!
[23:31] Gin
And have a happy new year, everyone!
SIGN Next Episode
[23:35] Tsu
Who is that?
[23:38] Shin
That's the former Shogun.
SIGN Courtesan of a Nation Arc
[23:44] Kagu
Soyo-chan!
[23:46] Soyo
It's been so long!
[23:48] A
Stay out of this, unless you
want to get yourself destroyed.
[23:52] B
I see... So Suzuran is still around...
[23:56] Hiji
Go commit a crime that's
worthy of this punishment.
[23:59] Gin
Too late.
[24:00] Gin
I already made a promise.
SIGN Courtesan Turns the Tables
[24:04] ---
E257 - Courtesan turns the tables
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:32] Suzu
I loathe the moon.
[01:36] Suzu
With nightfall, it brings you to me,
[01:40] Suzu
but it also takes you from
me when dawn breaks.
[01:44] Suzu
I wish the moon would never leave us.
[01:48] Suzu
Then you would always be here with me.
[01:53] A
The moon will come with the night again.
[01:56] A
And someday, when it does,
[01:59] ---
I will take you with me in the morning.
[02:01] A
Wait before the cherry blossom tree
[02:03] ---
on the night of the next full moon.
[02:15] Suzu
Do you promise?
[02:17] A
I promise.
[02:22] Both
Promise.
[02:24] Suzu
I'll be waiting
[02:27] Suzu
for the moon to rise
[02:28] Suzu
forever.
[02:33] Gin
The legendary courtesan?
[02:35] Tsu
You don't know of her?
[02:37] Tsu
The other lady of Yoshiwara,
[02:39] Tsu
the courtesan Suzuran.
[02:41] Gin
Why is she legendary?
[02:42] Gin
Is she a descendant of Erdrick?
[02:43] Gin
From Hand of the Heavenly Courtesan?
[02:45] Hino
I'm not talking about Nera.
[02:47] Gin
Nera? I was talking about Bianca.
[02:49] Hino
Don't forget about Debora.
[02:51] Tsu
Uh, none of them matter.
[02:53] Hino
The courtesan Suzuran.
[02:55] Hino
Her beauty was said
to come from the heavens.
[02:57] Hino
No one could rival her
in song or dance.
[03:01] Hino
Many elite officials sought Suzuran's
favor by offering her great wealth,
[03:05] Hino
but most were sent home
after a cup of tea.
[03:08] Gin
Sounds like she was beautiful
enough to topple nations.
[03:12] Gin
The other lady of Yoshiwara
isn't toppling nations
[03:15] ---
so much as toppling from
the weight of her makeup.
[03:17] Hino
Oh, sorry.
[03:19] Hino
My hand slipped.
[03:20] Hino
Must be because our nation
is toppling over.
[03:21] Gin
But it sounds like she's
no longer around.
[03:25] Gin
I would have liked to
enjoy her company once.
[03:28] Hino
You're more than welcome.
[03:31] Hino
You're such a fool.
[03:33] Hino
The legendary courtesan was
the one who invited you here.
[03:36] Hino
She wants to meet the
savior of Yoshiwara.
SIGN Courtesan Turns the Tables
[03:49] Gin
This should be good enough?
[03:51] Gin
But wait...
[03:53] Gin
Maybe I should...
[03:54] Tsu
It doesn't matter!
[03:55] Tsu
Aren't you getting ahead of yourself?
[03:57] Gin
This is important though.
[03:59] Gin
We're talking about a
legendary courtesan.
[04:01] Gin
If I screw something up, this won't
be a Yoshiwara night anymore!
[04:04] Gin
It'll be Tsukiji instead!
[04:05] Gin
I'll turn into a dead fish!
[04:06] Tsu
Don't worry. Nothing like
that is going to happen.
[04:11] A
Lady Suzuran has arrived!
[04:14] Hino
Oh, she's here.
[04:20] ---
Here she comes...
[04:21] Gin
Here she comes! Here she comes!
[04:23] Suzu
H-Hello.
[04:28] Suzu
It is an honor to meet you.
[04:31] Suzu
I am Su-Suzura...
[04:34] Suzu
Huh?
[04:36] Suzu
Who am I?
[04:39] Hino
Allow me to introduce you.
[04:40] Hino
This is the legendary
courtesan, our elder.
[04:44] Hino
The courtesan Lady Suzuran.
[04:54] Tsu
Hey, where do you think you're going?
[04:55] Gin
Just over to Tsukiji.
[04:57] Gin
Er, sorry.
[04:58] Gin
I heard she was a courtesan, but she
was toppling more than I thought.
[05:01] Gin
I didn't think she would be
completely toppled over.
[05:03] Gin
You said that this is
the legendary what?
[05:05] Gin
Lady Boomerang?
[05:06] Tsu
Lady Suzuran.
[05:09] Gin
You girls are mean.
[05:11] Gin
You made it sound like she
was working with you.
[05:14] Suzu
U-Um, I'm still on the job.
[05:18] Gin
What?!
[05:18] Suzu
I don't mean to brag,
[05:21] ---
but I've been working here since before
Yoshiwara moved underground.
[05:25] Gin
You're the one who's going
to be put underground soon!
[05:28] Suzu
I may be older now,
[05:30] Suzu
but my technique is just as
good as those younger girls!
[05:35] Gin
What kind of technique is this?!
[05:38] Suzu
Please come over here, savior...
[05:43] Suzu
Huh?
[05:43] Suzu
Who are you?
[05:45] Gin
Sakata Gintoki!
[05:47] Suzu
Oh, I wanted to thank you.
[05:53] Suzu
Please drink until you knock
yourself out tonight.
[05:57] Gin
This lady's spilling the whole bottle!
[06:00] Suzu
Huh? It's empty.
[06:02] Suzu
You drink fast.
[06:03] Gin
Are you listening to me, lady?!
[06:05] Suzu
Please knock yourself out tonight.
[06:10] Gin
Lady, you've knocked yourself
out, so can I go?!
[06:15] Hino
Behold Lady Suzuran's famous dancing.
[06:17] Hino
Look at her break dance.
[06:19] Gin
Wait, she's break dancing?
[06:21] Gin
It looks like she's having a breakdown!
[06:23] Gin
This is bad!
[06:25] Gin
Should we call an ambulance?
[06:26] Suzu
Y-You're too hasty.
[06:28] Suzu
Why don't we get to bed then?
[06:30] Gin
No!
[06:32] Hino
Here is your bed.
[06:35] Gin
What kind of bed is that?!
[06:38] Suzu
I-I truly enjoyed our
time together today.
[06:42] Gin
What?!
[06:43] Gin
You don't look like
you enjoyed yourself!
[06:44] Suzu
Thank you for being my last visitor.
[06:49] Gin
Don't jinx yourself!
[06:51] Suzu
You're so kind.
[06:54] Suzu
You're showing so much
concern for an old woman.
[07:00] Suzu
Can you make me a promise then?
[07:06] Suzu
Come see me again when the moon rises.
[07:11] Suzu
I'll be waiting
[07:15] Suzu
for the moon to rise
[07:17] Suzu
forever.
[07:27] Hino
That's known as a lovers' pact.
[07:29] Hino
Long ago, the women of Yoshiwara would
[07:32] ---
exchange vows of love
with their customers.
[07:35] Hino
My love belongs only to you.
[07:37] Hino
I will never be unfaithful to you.
[07:40] Hino
As proof, the women would offer
their hair, nails, and blood.
[07:48] Hino
Sadly, most of the
women made these pacts
[07:50] ---
to squeeze more money
from their customers.
[07:56] Gin
She's as good as they claim, then.
[07:59] Gin
That old woman had a man's hair
wrapped around her pinky.
[08:03] Hino
She refused to retire,
[08:05] Hino
even after she no longer had
[08:07] ---
any customers and
Yoshiwara was set free.
[08:09] Hino
She offered to do anything
if we let her stay here.
[08:12] Hino
And she intends to spend the rest
of her life here as a prostitute.
[08:17] Hino
She made a promise long ago
[08:20] ---
when Yoshiwara was still on the surface.
[08:23] Hino
A promise to leave
Yoshiwara together...
[08:27] Hino
Judging from her behavior,
[08:29] ---
she must have mistaken you for that man.
[08:32] Tsu
Do you mean that
[08:33] ---
Suzuran has been waiting here
all this time for that man?
[08:36] Hino
I don't know.
[08:37] Hino
But Yoshiwara has always been a place
[08:39] ---
where men and women lie to each other.
[08:41] Hino
Everyone knows that these dreams
[08:43] ---
will not last beyond morning.
[08:45] Hino
But we all continue to act our roles.
[08:48] Hino
It's your own fault if you
choose to believe that dream.
[08:51] Hino
But some may not wish to
awaken from that dream.
[08:55] Hino
She wishes to sleep inside her
dream, under the moonlight.
[09:03] A
Suzuran?
[09:04] A
My late lech of a grandpa
mentioned her before.
[09:07] B
Yes, I remember her.
[09:08] B
She was a fine woman.
[09:10] B
But she was out of my league.
[09:12] B
I would have loved a chance
with Suzuki Ranran.
[09:16] C
Yes, she was incredibly popular.
[09:19] C
But personally, I was
more of a Miki-chan fan
[09:21] ---
than a Ran-chan fan
[09:22] C
when it came to the Candies.
[09:24] D
I would totally lay Pink Lady.
[09:27] E
I would totally lay you.
[09:30] F
I just want one last lay,
I don't care who...
[09:35] Gin
I'm a fan of Ketsuno Ana.
[09:37] Gin
Wait, I don't mean that like it sounded...
[09:39] Gin
Kshatriya!
[09:41] Tsu
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[09:44] Gin
Why are you sneaking around
[09:45] ---
asking old men who they want to lay?
[09:48] Tsu
It's not my fault those perverted
leches got distracted!
[09:51] Gin
Are you looking for the
old woman's darling?
[09:56] Gin
Are you girly enough to think that the
[09:58] ---
man still remembers an ancient promise?
[10:00] Tsu
Who are you calling girly?!
[10:02] Tsu
I'm the leader of the
Hyakka, Lady Death!
[10:05] Tsu
I came to the surface for a
new pipe, but I got lost,
[10:09] ---
and when I asked for directions...
[10:10] Tsu
Um...
[10:11] A
Boss!
[10:12] A
We have information on Suzuran!
[10:14] Tsu
Shut up!
[10:15] Gin
Huh? Why are you telling
them to shut up?
[10:18] Gin
Did you come to the surface to buy
girly stuff to make yourself pretty?
[10:20] Gin
You're such a girl.
[10:21] Tsu
No! I'm buying non-girly stuff
to make myself not pretty!
[10:25] Tsu
Get back to shopping!
[10:26] A
Huh? Shopping?
[10:27] B
For what?
[10:28] Gin
Yeah, you women are hopeless.
[10:30] Gin
That old woman was hoodwinked.
[10:34] Gin
I feel sorry for you women.
[10:37] Shin
Gin-san!
[10:38] Shin
We have information on the old lady!
[10:41] Gin
Shut up!
[10:42] Tsu
Oh, I see.
[10:43] Tsu
Fancy that.
[10:44] Tsu
So you're also doing
some secret shopping.
[10:46] Gin
I'm buying manly stuff!
[10:48] Gin
To make my curly hair manly!
[10:50] Gin
So shut up!
[10:52] Tsu
You shut up!
[10:53] Shin
Can you cut it out?
[10:55] Shin
Both of you are so stubborn.
[10:57] Kag
Gin-chan and Tsu-ki
both want to help the
[10:59] ---
old lady meet her darling
before she dies, right?
[11:02] Both
What?
[11:04] Shin
Huh? Don't you?
[11:06] Tsu
I just wanted to make that man pay
[11:08] ---
for toying with the heart
of a Yoshiwara woman.
[11:11] Tsu
When Suzuran dies,
[11:13] Tsu
that man will also die.
[11:15] Shin
This woman's up to no good!
[11:18] Gin
I made her a promise.
[11:21] Gin
If I find the man,
[11:23] Gin
she'll give me all of her wealth.
[11:25] Shin
Don't lie!
[11:26] Shin
Don't make up promises!
[11:29] Shin
So both of you are plotting evil!
[11:32] Tsu
What do you mean?
[11:33] Tsu
I'm going to end his life.
[11:35] Gin
I won't let that happen. The
lady's money will be mine.
[11:37] Shin
Hold on! Wait!
[11:39] Shin
You need to show more respect, Gin-san!
[11:41] A
Respect isn't the only thing
you need to show, boss!
[11:44] Gin
Huh? What are you talking about?
[11:47] Shin
Well, we were able to obtain
[11:49] ---
information on Suzuran-san's
former customer.
[11:51] A
But this customer is big trouble.
[11:55] Shin
Long ago, Suzuran-san had many wealthy
[11:58] ---
retainers as her customers.
[12:00] Shin
But they all suddenly
stopped visiting her.
[12:04] Shin
It was because of a certain rumor
going through Yoshiwara.
[12:06] Shin
Suzuran-san was the
favorite of that man.
[12:09] Tsu
That man?
[12:11] Tsu
Who was he?
[12:13] Shin
It's the man
[12:16] Shin
who lives over there.
[12:20] Gin
Shinpachi-kun, are
you saying that...
[12:24] Shin
The former shogun.
[12:33] Gin
Pachi-boy, can I ask you a question?
[12:35] Gin
What will happen to us if
we're caught sneaking
[12:37] ---
into the castle to see
the former shogun?
[12:39] Shin
We'll be executed.
[12:41] Gin
What will happen if we wait for
the shogun to step outside?
[12:44] Shin
We'll be executed.
[12:45] Gin
Between the old former courtesan and the
[12:48] ---
old former shogun, who has more money?
[12:51] Shin
Should be the shogun.
[12:53] Gin
Okay, I have a plan.
[12:56] Gin
Tsukuyo will sneak past the
guards into the palace.
[12:59] Gin
Then I report her to the guards and
[13:01] ---
receive a reward from the shogun.
[13:03] Gin
A perfect plan!
[13:06] Tsu
This seems more perfect to me.
[13:09] Gin
Calm down, Tsu-ki.
[13:11] Gin
We're talking about the former shogun.
[13:13] Gin
It'll be hard enough to announce
ourselves, let alone meet him.
[13:16] Gin
What would we say if we met him, anyway?
[13:19] Tsu
That his former lover is
waiting for him in hell.
[13:21] Gin
This is bad.
[13:23] ---
She's going to get us arrested
for assassinating the shogun!
[13:26] Shin
So we won't be able to sneak inside?
[13:28] Gin
They've got guards everywhere.
[13:30] Gin
Something must have happened.
[13:32] Gin
Besides, even if that
[13:33] ---
old woman used to be the
top courtesan in Edo,
[13:36] Gin
the shogun wouldn't go to
Yoshiwara to visit her.
[13:40] Shin
The shogun was Suzuran-san's customer
[13:43] ---
before he became the shogun.
[13:46] Shin
And didn't you know, Gin-san?
[13:49] Shin
You haven't heard about the
13th shogun, Sadasada-sama?
[13:54] Shin
When the Amanto attacked,
[13:55] ---
he replaced the 12th shogun
who collapsed from the stress.
[14:00] Shin
While he was called a traitor
for opening up control,
[14:04] Shin
he's considered a brilliant
leader who rebuilt the bakufu.
[14:07] Shin
Even after abdicating,
[14:09] ---
he holds incredible influence
and serves as an advisor.
[14:13] Shin
He was known to be a player
[14:15] Shin
with the highest number of wives
ever recorded in the family.
[14:19] Gin
So he went Abarenbo Shogun
every Saturday at 8 PM?
[14:23] Shin
He went Abarenbo Shogun
every night at 8 PM.
[14:30] Tsu
He used his position to toy with
Suzuran, then he tossed her aside.
[14:35] Tsu
My target is the former shogun.
[14:38] Gin
Could you not use the word target?
[14:40] Tsu
I understand that this is reckless.
[14:42] Tsu
Nevertheless, I must go.
[14:44] Gin
Hey!
[14:45] Tsu
The woman devoted her
life to Yoshiwara.
[14:48] Tsu
Yoshiwara must return the favor.
[14:51] Tsu
She no longer needs the moon to
show her dreams that won't last.
[14:55] Tsu
The last moon she sees will
be when her dream comes true.
[15:00] Shin
Tsukuyo-san...
[15:03] Kag
Wait, Tsu-ki!
[15:06] Kag
There's nothing reckless
about that dream.
[15:13] A
Open the gates!
[15:22] B
Attention!
[15:24] B
Princess Soyo has arrived!
[15:26] Soyo
Kagura-chan!
[15:27] B
Your Highness, behave yourself!
[15:29] Kag
Soyo-chan!
[15:31] Soyo
It's been forever!
[15:32] Soyo
How have you been?
[15:34] Kag
I'm doing just fine.
[15:35] Kag
And you look like
you're in good shape.
[15:38] B
Your Highness, it's not proper
to embrace someone in public.
[15:38] Soyo
I've been so lonely since
the last time you came.
[15:41] Soyo
Oh, did you bring me the new
sukonbu like you promised?
[15:44] Soyo
Yup!
[15:44] Gin
Huh? What's that? Who's that?
[15:46] Gin
Clara and Heidi?
[15:48] Shin
If my memory serves me right,
[15:50] ---
that's Princess Soyo, the younger
sister of the current shogun.
[15:53] Gin
If my memory serves me right,
[15:54] ---
the princess wouldn't
be yodeling with Heidi.
[15:59] Gin
No way. When did she
score a connection
[16:01] ---
with the princess of this country?
[16:03] Gin
When did she become more
influential than I am?
[16:05] Gin
This is how Alm-Onji must have felt.
[16:07] Gin
He couldn't be happy for Heidi when
[16:09] ---
she came back from
Frankfurt all grown up.
[16:12] Shin
Alm-Onji wasn't that mean.
[16:15] Kag
I brought my friends
today. Is that okay?
[16:18] Soyo
Of course.
[16:19] Soyo
Your friends are my friends.
[16:22] Soyo
Thank you for coming to visit today.
[16:24] Soyo
You must be Gin-chan.
[16:25] Gin
Huh? You know me?
[16:27] Soyo
Yes, Kagura-chan has
told me all about you.
[16:30] Soyo
I'm honored to meet you.
[16:32] Gin
N-No, I'm the one who's honored.
[16:34] Gin
You've done a lot for Kagura.
[16:36] Soyo
You weren't lying about
how shaggy he is.
[16:38] Gin
Uh, Kagura-chan? What have
you been telling her?
[16:41] Soyo
So the glasses wearing the
human are Pachi-boy-san?
[16:43] Shin
Glasses wearing the human?!
[16:45] Shin
That's backwards!
[16:46] Shin
What have you been
telling her about me?!
[16:48] Soyo
Who is this woman?
[16:50] Kagura
She came from Yoshiwara to
knock off the shogun...
[16:54] Soyo
Yoshiwara? Knock off?
[16:57] Tsu
No, I'm... You know...
[16:59] Gin
She's a delivery hell girl who came from
[17:02] ---
Yoshiwara to knock out the shogun.
[17:03] Tsu
How is that any better?!
[17:04] Soyo
So she's a delivery hell girl.
SIGN Delivery Hell
[17:07] Tsu
It still sounds like I'm
delivering him to hell!
[17:10] Soyo
I'm sorry.
[17:11] ---
You came to visit me, but
we have to sneak around.
[17:14] Soyo
Sorry about this, Grampy.
[17:17] G
I'm used to your willful behavior.
[17:19] G
At least you haven't run
away from the palace again.
[17:23] Shin
Uh, did something happen?
[17:25] Soyo
The palace is currently
under martial law.
[17:28] G
Your Highness! That's classified!
[17:29] Soyo
We can tell them.
[17:32] Soyo
Lately, somebody has been attacking
important bakufu officials,
[17:38] Soyo
so the palace is really
tense right now.
[17:41] Shin
S-Sorry, it looks like
we came at a bad time.
[17:46] Soyo
No, it's perfectly fine.
[17:48] Soyo
I couldn't stand the gloomy
atmosphere much longer.
[17:52] Sasa
I see. I have no choice then.
[17:56] Sasa
Under normal circumstances, I would
tell these visitors to leave,
[17:58] ---
friends of the princess or not.
[18:01] Sasa
But I'll make an exception
in this case.
[18:05] Sasa
Since one of my e-mail buddies is here.
[18:07] Gin
Holy!
[18:08] G
Sasaki-dono!
[18:10] G
Forgive me, these are...
[18:12] Sasa
No, it's fine.
[18:15] Sasa
Since the Mimawarigumi has been
[18:16] ---
entrusted to protect the palace,
[18:18] ---
the princess is perfectly safe.
[18:22] Sasa
And since we've determined
[18:24] ---
that the assailant is most
likely a Joi patriot,
[18:27] Sasa
it shouldn't matter if a former
Joi is allowed inside the palace.
[18:31] Sasa
Isn't that right, White Yaksha?
SIGN From: Sabu-chan Subject: Your New Phone
[18:33] Sasa
"Throwing away your phone was mean.
[18:35] Sasa
I'll give you a new one,
so e-mail me again."
[18:38] G
Your Highness, please be quiet!
[18:41] G
If you cause any fuss, I, Rotten
Maizo, will lose my head.
[18:45] Kag
Soyo-chan, what do you
want to do today?
[18:47] Kag
We can play tag.
[18:48] Soyo
Yes, yes!
[18:48] G
Were you listening to me?
[18:50] Kag
You whine too much, old man!
[18:52] G
Don't call me an old man!
[18:55] Gin
This isn't good.
[18:56] Tsu
Do you know that man?
[18:58] Gin
We made it inside the palace,
[19:01] Gin
but we've got a pesky
watchdog on our tail now.
[19:06] Sasa
"Nobu-tasu's guarding
the princess right now,
[19:08] ---
so if you try anything
funny, you'll be killed.
[19:10] Sasa
Be careful."
[19:12] Shin
We could ask the princess to help us.
[19:15] Gin
How are we supposed to explain
Yoshiwara to that innocent girl?
[19:20] Gin
And we've got Grampy and the
watchdog monitoring us.
[19:24] Tsu
That means we need to lose
Grampy and the watchdog
[19:27] ---
before we can freely
move around the palace.
[19:29] G
I won't let you play
tag! It's not proper!
[19:32] Kag
You're so pissy!
[19:34] Kag
That's why you're known as "Gram-pee."
[19:37] G
That's what Grampy stands for?
[19:39] Soyo
That's wrong, Kagura-chan.
[19:40] Soyo
The Gram is short for Grand,
[19:42] Soyo
so it's "Grand-pee."
[19:44] G
Your Highness! That's worse!
[19:47] Tsu
Enough of this, Kagura.
[19:50] Kag
Tsu-ki...
[19:51] Tsu
If we play tag under the
current circumstances,
[19:53] ---
we'll be making more
trouble for the guards.
[19:55] G
See? Did you hear that, Your Highness?
[19:57] G
This is how grown-ups should act.
[19:58] Tsu
Instead, you should keep it
quiet and play kick the can.
[20:01] Gin
Wait, how does that make sense?!
[20:04] Tsu
If you play tag, you'll be running
around and making a lot of noise.
[20:06] Tsu
But kick the can is similar
to hide-and-seek.
[20:09] Tsu
There shouldn't be too much noise.
[20:10] Both
Makes sense!
[20:11] Both
Wait, you're missing the point!
[20:13] Gin
Is she going to use hide-and-seek as an
[20:16] ---
excuse to shake Grampy and the watchdog?
[20:18] Shin
Grampy's not going to accept that!
[20:20] G
It's not proper for Your
Highness to kick cans!
[20:23] Shin
See?
[20:24] G
If you want to kick cans,
[20:27] G
you should kick me instead!
[20:28] Shin
What?!
[20:29] Gin
Hey! Grampy's the worst offender here!
[20:31] G
Now step on me with your pointy heels!
[20:34] Soyo
Grand-pee!
[20:35] Nobu
Wait.
[20:37] Nobu
Kick the can...
[20:38] Nobu
Kick the Grampy...
[20:40] Nobu
I can't allow that.
[20:41] Gin
Damn, here she comes!
[20:44] Nobu
Let's play cut the Grampy.
[20:45] Gin
You're joining in?!
[20:47] Gin
What's cut the Grampy?!
[20:49] Gin
Some kind of killing game?!
[20:50] Soyo
Are you going to play
with us, Nobume-san?
[20:54] Soyo
Yay!
[20:55] Nobu
This is more pointy than her heels.
[20:57] G
Uh, it's too pointy!
[20:58] G
I'll take a grand piss on that idea!
[21:01] Gin
Both Grampy and the
watchdog are joining in!
[21:04] Gin
Wait, wait, wait.
[21:06] Gin
A guard shouldn't be doing this.
[21:08] Gin
Grampy's going to die, so
we should change the rules.
[21:11] Nobu
Then I'm It.
[21:12] Nobu
I'll cut down everyone I find.
[21:14] Gin
That'll mean more casualties!
[21:16] Gin
Are you that eager to cut people?!
[21:19] Nobu
Hurry up and kick the can.
[21:21] Gin
Wait!
[21:22] Gin
Why are you starting already?!
[21:25] Tsu
Gintoki!
[21:26] Tsu
Kick the can as far as
you can to buy time!
[21:29] Gin
Shut up!
[21:30] Gin
Why do I have to buy you
guys time to run away?!
[21:33] Gin
Damn it all!
[21:34] Gin
I'll lose my head anyway when they
[21:36] ---
find out we're sneaking
around the palace!
[21:38] Gin
In that case, I'll kick it good!
[21:44] Gin
Go!
[21:49] Shogun
You're being too noisy, Soyo.
[21:51] Shogun
Honestly, when will you realize that
[21:54] ---
you are the Shogun's younger sister...
[22:06] Gin
It-It-It...
[22:09] Gin
It's the shogun?!
SIGN To be continued...
[23:45] Gin
Guess what?
[23:46] Gin
This spring...
[23:47] Gin
No, this summer, the second
movie will be hitting theaters!
[23:51] Kag
Yay! So spring...
[23:52] Kag
I mean, summer is when it finally happens!
[23:55] Kag
Time to celebrate!
[23:56] Shin
This doesn't sound very celebratory.
SIGN Courtesan Turns the Tables!
SIGN The former shogun arrives
SIGN right as the current shogun is taken out!!
SIGN Given the terrible timing,
SIGN will Gintoki and crew be able to ask about Suzuran?!
E258 - Inside the Palace!!
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:32] Gin
I took him out!
[01:33] Gin
I took out the shogun!
[01:35] Tsu
C-Calm down, Gintoki!
[01:36] Tsu
He's just unconscious!
[01:38] Tsu
We need to get him help, quick!
[01:39] Nobu
Found Whitey and Blondie.
[01:41] Gin
That's not a can!
[01:45] Nobu
It'll be faster to cut him up.
[01:46] Gin
Your way of moving faster is too fast!
[01:48] A
Excuse me, Shogun-sama.
[01:50] A
The former shogun,
Sadasada-sama is here.
[01:53] A
Are you available?
[01:55] Gin
Is he available?
[01:57] Gin
That's what I want to know!
[01:59] Gin
This is a disaster! What the hell
do we do about this?!
[02:01] Gin
We finally found the former shogun,
[02:03] ---
but the current shogun is flying away!
[02:05] Gin
Butterflying away in the River Styx.
[02:06] Gin
At this rate, we'll be
butterflying away with him,
[02:08] Tsu
Calm down!
[02:09] Gin
so before that, let's start running away!
[02:13] Tsu
Hey, where are you going?
[02:15] Tsu
Get back here.
[02:16] Tsu
Are you gonna give up
on this perfect chance?
[02:19] Sada
Is something wrong?
[02:21] Sada
Shigeshige-san is my nephew.
[02:23] Sada
I don't need his permission to visit.
[02:25] Sada
I'm coming in, Shigeshige-san.
[02:27] Gin
H-Hold on!
[02:36] Shige
What is the meaning of this?
[02:39] Tsu
O-Oh no!
[02:40] Tsu
We said to wait!
[02:43] Tsu
Shogun-sama is busy right now.
[02:48] Nobu
Hello, we're Delivery
Yoshiwara's Nobume...
[02:50] Tsu
...and Tsu-ki. It's a pleasure.
SIGN Inside the Palace!!
[03:00] Sasa
Found the princess.
[03:03] Sasa
Shot Grampy.
[03:05] Sasa
Sorry, but I already found everyone.
[03:08] Sasa
Forgive me for being an elite.
[03:11] Grampy
My apologies, Sasaki-dono!
[03:13] Grampy
We were just...
[03:13] Sasa
It's fine.
[03:15] Sasa
But watch where you hide.
[03:19] Sasa
I almost mistook you for
a villain and shot you.
[03:22] Shin
Almost? You nearly shot me to death!
[03:25] Sasa
Rotten-dono, if you agree
to take responsibility when
[03:28] ---
I accidentally kill the princess,
[03:31] Sasa
we can play another round.
[03:33] Grampy
We'll stop! We're going to stop!
[03:34] Grampy
I'm so very sorry!
[03:36] Sasa
A wise decision.
[03:38] Sasa
I would expect as much
[03:40] ---
from Rotten Maizo-dono,
advisor to the former shogun.
[03:42] Sasa
I've heard that you gave up your
left arm to show your loyalty.
[03:48] Shin
Grampy, you served Sadasada-sama?
[03:51] Grampy
I-It was a long time ago.
[03:54] Sasa
It was a tempestuous age of
political purges within the palace,
[03:59] Sasa
and Rotten-dono played a pivotal
role in keeping his master safe.
[04:04] Sasa
Sadasada-sama's elevation to shogun
[04:07] ---
was thanks to Rotten-dono's hard work
[04:10] Sasa
since the other candidates
were all sent to heaven.
[04:16] Sasa
Yes, by "heaven," I mean Yoshiwara.
[04:20] Shin
What do you...
[04:21] Grampy
Sasaki-dono, could you escort
these visitors outside?
[04:25] Grampy
Come with me, Your Highness.
[04:26] Soyo
Wait, Grampy!
[04:28] Soyo
Kagura-chan!
[04:29] Kag
Soyo-chan!
[04:32] Tsu
Here you are, Shogun-sama.
[04:35] Tsu
Come on, Shogun-sama.
[04:37] Tsu
You're spilling everything.
[04:38] Tsu
You're so hopeless.
[04:41] Gin
There's no way!
[04:42] Gin
Not a chance in hell!
[04:44] Gin
There's no way we can fool him!
[04:46] Gin
Why are we bothering with this act?
[04:48] Gin
His eyes are rolled back!
[04:50] Gin
The former shogun's eyes
are also rolled back!
[04:53] Tsu
Say something! Say something, now!
[04:56] Gin
I'm not a ventriloquist!
[04:57] Tsu
Still beats staying quiet! Hurry up!
[05:00] Gin
Y-Yeah, you gave me a scare
[05:03] Gin
since you walked in without
any warning, Uncle!
[05:05] Gin
Give me a break!
[05:07] Gin
I look like a fool now!
[05:11] Tsu
Why are you being so casual?!
[05:13] Tsu
Act more serious, like the shogun would!
[05:15] Gin
Bring Genda Tessho-san here, then!
[05:17] Gin
I don't know how to
play a serious shogun!
[05:20] Nobu
My apologies, Dearest Uncle.
[05:22] Gin
She can mimic voices?
[05:25] Nobu
I have humiliated myself shogun.
[05:27] Gin
Huh, shogun?
[05:28] Nobu
I'm so embarrassed shogun.
[05:30] Gin
Hey! Why do you end every
sentence with shogun?!
[05:33] Nobu
Please forget what you saw shogun.
[05:35] Gin
You're sounding like Korosuke now!
[05:37] Gin
Who are you trying to imitate?!
[05:40] Nobu
Oh, that's odd.
[05:42] Nobu
The shogun is talking faster than
his mouth can move shogun.
[05:45] Gin
Nobody asked for an
Ikkoku-dou impression!
[05:47] Sada
No, I should be the one apologizing.
[05:51] Sada
You seemed to frown upon such behavior.
[05:54] Sada
I did some crazy things when I was young,
though nothing as bold as this.
[05:59] Gin
What does he think was going on here?!
[06:01] Sada
But I'm shocked that the Mimawarigumi
would allow visitors inside.
[06:05] Sada
It seems that they aren't
here to protect us.
[06:09] Sada
Look at that.
[06:11] Gin
Huh? Er, can I sit here?
[06:13] Gin
Can I just stare at his
receding hairline from here?
[06:15] Tsu
Of course not!
[06:16] Tsu
Stand up! Get over there!
[06:17] Sada
They claim to be training, but
that's no more than an excuse.
[06:21] Sada
They're monitoring us.
[06:23] Sada
You know that the current Bakufu
[06:24] Tsu
Hey, be careful!
[06:25] ---
is split between our faction,
which backs you,
[06:26] Sada
and the faction that
wants to make one of
[06:30] ---
the young Hitotsubashis Shogun, yes?
[06:33] Sada
The recent assassination victims
[06:35] ---
have all been members of
the Hitotsubashi faction.
[06:38] Sada
That is why they suspect us.
[06:42] Sada
The Mimawarigumi have strong ties
to the Hitotsubashi faction.
[06:47] Sada
They may attempt to make
false accusations.
[06:52] Sada
Try not to do anything that would
attract their attention.
[06:59] Tsu
Shogun-sama, give me back my underwear!
[07:03] Nobu
This doesn't seem right.
[07:04] Gin
Any naughty underwear around shogun?
[07:06] Gin
Ugh, this stinks!
[07:07] Sada
Shigeshige-san...
[07:09] Sada
Was your hair always so bushy?
[07:12] Gin
Oh, this hair was on her underwear.
[07:14] Sada
I don't remember that bushy object
being in this room before.
[07:18] Nobu
Oh, this hair was always here shogun.
[07:21] Sada
Honestly, I can't tell if you're
being resilient or foolish.
[07:25] Gin
Wait, it worked?
[07:27] Sada
But try to control yourself.
[07:31] Sada
I've seen many people ruin
their lives because of women.
[07:36] Sada
Yes, beware of courtesans.
[07:41] Tsu
My Lord.
[07:43] Tsu
Please forgive my interruption.
[07:46] Tsu
But there is something I must ask.
[07:48] Tsu
Do you remember the courtesan Suzuran?
[07:53] Tsu
No, it doesn't matter if
you don't remember her.
[07:56] Tsu
I just... I just...
[07:58] Sasa
I see.
[08:00] ---
So you want to know the
connection between
[08:02] ---
that courtesan and Sadasada-sama.
[08:04] Shin
It sounded like you knew something.
[08:07] Sasa
Let me offer you some advice.
[08:09] Sasa
Give me your e-mail
addresses and leave.
[08:12] Shin
We don't have any!
[08:13] Sasa
Become my e-mail buddies and leave.
[08:15] Kag
We'd rather stay strangers!
[08:17] Sasa
The courtesan who bewitched
and toppled our very country...
[08:21] Sasa
Stay out of this, unless you
want to get yourself destroyed.
[08:25] Sada
I see...
[08:27] Sada
So Suzuran is still alive.
[08:34] Sasa
You're right.
[08:37] Sasa
Lady Suzuran was Sadasada-sama's
companion when he was young.
[08:41] Sasa
However, he wasn't the one
who fell for her charms.
[08:45] Sasa
At the time, Yoshiwara was a place for
[08:48] ---
high-ranking officials
to meet and socialize,
[08:51] Sasa
and every man who visited
was entranced by her.
[08:57] Sada
Suzuran...
[08:59] Sada
How could I forget her?
[09:01] Sada
I could never forget.
[09:04] Sada
Those eyes shining with kindness...
[09:07] Sada
The graceful way she moved...
[09:10] Sada
Her silky hair...
[09:11] Sada
Glossy lips...
[09:13] Sada
Supple skin...
[09:18] Sada
And...
[09:23] Sada
...those blood-stained hands.
[09:28] Sada
I'd love to suck them off again.
[09:33] Sasa
He was using her.
[09:37] Sasa
Using her as a tool to
topple this country.
[09:41] Sasa
And after becoming shogun,
[09:45] Sasa
he prepared a puppet to succeed him,
[09:48] Sasa
so his influence in the
palace would not wane.
[09:51] Kag
What about that promise?!
[09:54] Sasa
Do you really think that man
[09:56] ---
would grant freedom to a tool
who knew his secrets?
[09:58] Sasa
If he ever made such a
promise, he was lying.
[10:00] Sasa
It was nothing more than a
curse to maintain control
[10:04] Sasa
over his tool.
[10:06] Sasa
That cunning old man is not
someone you can handle.
[10:10] Sasa
You should go home and let
the elites deal with this.
[10:13] Sasa
Yoshiwara was only the beginning.
[10:15] Sasa
This place has become
his hunting ground.
[10:17] Sasa
Who knows what might happen to you...
[10:25] Sasa
I just got a curry udon
stain out the other day.
[10:28] Sasa
See? I told you that you
were asking for trouble...
[10:33] Shin
Sa-Sasaki-san!
[10:37] Sada
Yes, I've found some more tools to use.
[10:42] Sada
Apprehend them.
[10:43] Sada
These criminals are guilty of
murdering Bakufu officials
[10:47] ---
as well as the leader
of those snooping dogs.
[10:53] Hiji
Sasaki was taken down.
[10:55] Hiji
Well, his life was forfeit once he
let murderers inside the palace.
[11:01] Hiji
The Mimawarigumi have been
removed from palace security.
[11:04] Hiji
It won't be long before they disband.
[11:08] Hiji
And we've been selected
to take their place.
[11:11] Hiji
But something about this stinks.
[11:13] Kondo
Stinks?! What does?!
[11:14] Hiji
I hear the alleged criminals in the serial
Bakufu murders were apprehended,
[11:18] Hiji
and they'll be executed
tomorrow morning
[11:20] ---
without conducting any investigation.
[11:22] Hiji
It sounds like they're trying
to cover something up.
[11:26] Kondo
Oh, whew.
[11:28] Kondo
I thought he could smell my gas.
[11:29] Hiji
Kondo-san?
[11:30] Kondo
R-Right!
[11:32] Kondo
Something's not right.
[11:33] Kondo
Let's clean up these murderers.
[11:37] Gin
Oh! Kondo-kun! Hijikata-kun!
[11:40] Gin
Fancy meeting you here!
[11:42] Gin
Perfect timing!
[11:44] Gin
I need to talk to you.
[11:47] Gin
I'm gonna kill you, you rotten cops!
[11:49] Gin
Don't ignore me! Hear me out!
[11:50] Hiji
It's hopeless. That's some stubborn
filth they're covered in.
[11:53] Kondo
That won't ever clean off.
[11:54] Gin
Everyone! That gorilla pooped a
little when he farted earlier!
[11:57] Kondo
How do you know that?!
[11:58] Oki
It's no use, boss.
[12:02] Oki
You picked the wrong enemy this time.
[12:05] Oki
Nobody's going to lend
an ear to your pleas.
[12:08] Kag
Then rip off your ear
and lend it to us!
[12:11] Oki
Sorry, my ears have a prior engagement.
[12:13] Kag
Then give me an ear of corn!
[12:14] Oki
Oh? I see a familiar face in there.
[12:17] Oki
That's odd. Why is there an
elite locked up with the scum?
[12:21] Oki
What will happen to the Mimawarigumi
if I tell the shogun?
[12:25] Oki
Oh, yeah.
[12:26] Oki
Sorry, you guys are
already finished, regardless.
[12:33] Nobu
Hand over a Pon De Ring!
[12:35] Oki
That's what you want?!
You're ripping me apart!
[12:37] Kag
Give me my dinner!
[12:40] Shin
We really picked the wrong
opponent this time.
[12:44] Shin
Sasaki-san said that the palace was
Sadasada's hunting ground now.
[12:49] Shin
And Sasaki-san was also...
[12:51] Nobu
He's alive.
[12:52] Nobu
Isaburo is alive.
[12:56] Tsu
So it turns out you were right, Gintoki.
[13:00] Tsu
I was the one blinded by a false dream.
[13:04] Tsu
Suzuran was waiting for a
man that doesn't exist.
[13:08] Tsu
She must have known
[13:10] Tsu
that refusing Sadasada
would mean her death.
[13:13] Tsu
That the promise was meant
to chain her to Yoshiwara.
[13:19] Tsu
Suzuran wasn't waiting for anyone.
[13:22] Tsu
She had no choice but
to cling to her dreams.
[13:31] Gramp
Shigeshige-sama!
[13:32] Gramp
Please reconsider!
[13:35] Gramp
Those people are Princess
Soyo's friends!
[13:38] Gramp
If you must punish someone,
[13:41] Gramp
please slice off my ass instead!
[13:44] Shogun
Calm down, Grampy.
[13:46] Shogun
My uncle was the one
who saw what happened.
[13:48] Shogun
I know nothing.
[13:50] Gramp
But you're the only
one who can stop him!
[13:54] Sada
There's no need to worry.
[13:57] Sada
They are murderers.
[14:00] Sada
Or are you saying that I'm lying?
[14:05] Gramp
B-By no means...
[14:09] Sada
Get some rest, Shigeshige-san.
[14:11] Sada
This old man will take care
of everything for you.
[14:18] Kon
Lord Sadasada?!
[14:20] Kon
Is that true?!
[14:21] Oki
I don't know if it's true,
but that's their story.
[14:26] Kon
Toshi!
[14:28] Hiji
So what?
[14:29] Hiji
Our job is to defend Edo.
[14:32] Hiji
It's not our problem if those pigs
want to feed on one another.
[14:36] Kon
But if we ignore what's happening,
[14:37] ---
we'll be no better than them!
[14:40] Hiji
Don't forget that those
pigs are the only reason
[14:43] Hiji
we country boys get to play samurai.
[14:46] Kon
I'm not interested in being a bogus
samurai that doesn't follow a code!
[14:50] Hiji
We have to play bogus samurai
if we want to defend anything!
[14:53] Kon
Don't you realize that this is what
we're supposed to be defending!
[14:56] Yama
Hey! Hold on!
[14:58] Yama
What are you two doing?!
[15:03] Gin
Shut up!
[15:04] Gin
I can't get any sleep, you bastards!
[15:09] Kag
Soyo-chan!
[15:11] Gin
Is she going to save us while
those fools are fighting?
[15:14] Soyo
Um, I was having trouble
falling asleep all by myself.
[15:18] Soyo
Can I sleep out here?
[15:21] Soyo
I'd gotten used to Nobume-san
sleeping with me,
[15:24] ---
so I was too scared to fall asleep.
[15:26] Shin
Uh, we're the ones who should
be too scared to fall asleep.
[15:29] Soyo
I'm a little nervous since this
is almost like a sleepover.
[15:32] Shin
Uh, we're the ones who
should be nervous.
[15:34] Shin
We're going to be executed tomorrow.
[15:36] Soyo
Don't worry.
[15:37] Soyo
Grampy will prove your innocence.
[15:40] Soyo
If you still can't fall asleep...
[15:43] Soyo
I know!
[15:44] Soyo
I can tell you some bedtime stories
[15:47] ---
that Grampy told me when I was little.
[15:49] Soyo
They're so boring that you'll
fall asleep in no time.
[15:52] Soyo
Um...
[15:53] Soyo
Long, long ago...
[15:55] Shin
How boring do you expect it to be?!
[15:57] Shin
That's rude!
[15:58] Soyo
Long, long ago, there was
a lord and his retainer.
[16:04] Soyo
The lord's wife was the most
beautiful princess in the land,
[16:08] Soyo
and she cared about him very much.
[16:11] Soyo
But the lord used the
princess's feelings,
[16:14] Soyo
threw her in prison, and forced
her to do terrible things.
[16:19] Soyo
The princess could only cry
in her prison every night.
[16:23] Soyo
The retainer felt sorry for the princess
and often came to wipe her tears.
[16:30] Soyo
Yes, for he had fallen in
love with the princess.
[16:37] Soyo
However...
[16:39] Sada
Dispose of Suzuran.
[16:42] Soyo
The retainer would be
killed if he didn't obey.
[16:44] Soyo
But he couldn't bring himself
to kill the woman he loved.
[16:49] Soyo
Instead, they made a promise.
[16:52] Soyo
They would escape together.
[16:54] Soyo
"I will take you with me on the
night of the next full moon."
[16:58] Soyo
And then they exchanged a pinky swear.
[17:02] Soyo
But he never returned,
[17:07] Soyo
for the lord already knew about them.
[17:09] Sada
How long will Suzuran wait for you,
[17:14] Sada
a man who's long forgotten his promise?
[17:18] Sada
The woman will wait for
the rest of her life
[17:20] ---
for a man who will never come,
[17:21] Sada
while the man will live
the rest of his life
[17:24] ---
with the pain of breaking his promise.
[17:27] Sada
A beautiful story, yes?
[17:30] Soyo
If the retainer were to go see the
princess, she would be killed.
[17:33] Soyo
Their promise was transformed
into a chain heavier than death.
[17:37] Soyo
So he swore to himself.
[17:39] Soyo
It didn't matter how many
full moons came and went.
[17:42] Soyo
It didn't matter if they
were covered in wrinkles.
[17:46] Soyo
It didn't matter if the
princess forgot about him.
[17:49] Soyo
He would live until the day he met her.
[17:52] Soyo
And so, he continues to live by
crawling on his three limbs.
[17:58] Sada
Maizo, I heard something
fascinating that
[18:01] ---
I wanted to pass on to you.
[18:03] Sada
Suzuran is still living in Yoshiwara.
[18:06] Sada
But she won't survive much longer.
[18:09] Sada
Do you wish to see her?
[18:11] Sada
How many full moons have come and gone?
[18:14] Sada
I suppose it's time to forgive you.
[18:17] Sada
I'll let you go see her.
[18:19] Sada
Take responsibility for inviting
those criminals into the palace.
[18:24] Sada
Disembowel yourself.
[18:26] Sada
Suzuran will be waiting
for you in hell.
[18:30] Soyo
And the princess and retainer were...
[18:33] Tsu
Stop.
[18:35] Tsu
We've heard enough, Your Highness.
[18:37] Soyo
You weren't able to fall asleep?
[18:39] Gin
No.
[18:40] Gin
We already know the rest of the story.
[18:44] Shin
Can you open the door
now, Your Highness?
[18:47] Soyo
Huh? How?
[18:48] Kag
Over there.
[18:50] Kag
They were tossed in when you entered.
[18:56] Kon
What are you waiting for?
[18:58] Kon
Come out here. It's time
for your execution.
[19:01] Kon
Put on your execution clothes.
[19:08] Oki
Boss, don't forget you
have an appointment
[19:10] ---
with the executioner's block.
[19:11] Oki
Make sure you come back
with your head attached
[19:15] Oki
since we'll need to chop it off.
[19:16] Hiji
Try to commit a crime that's
worthy of this punishment.
[19:20] Hiji
What crime will you be guilty of?
[19:23] Gin
The crime of
[19:25] Gin
ripping off a lord's
topknot down there.
[19:28] Kon
This may be the last
time we send him off.
[19:33] Nobu
The same goes for you.
[19:35] Nobu
Now that you've sided with
us, there's no turning back.
[19:38] Hiji
Don't worry about that.
[19:40] Hiji
If you cause an uproar, that old man
will start to show his true colors.
[19:45] Hiji
Once there's no one left to
interfere, we'll grill him good.
[19:50] Oki
So you can go die in peace.
[19:53] Oki
Or do you want me to dispatch you now,
[19:58] Oki
murderer?
[20:05] Nobu
Remember this.
[20:07] Nobu
You have no allies in this palace.
[20:11] Nobu
If you aren't prepared to take over
this country, you'll all die.
[20:14] Nobu
The only difference is that
[20:16] ---
you'll be eliminated by
that old man instead of me.
[20:19] Nobu
If you want to join in the
battle for this nation,
[20:22] Nobu
forget about anything
being black or white.
[20:28] Sada
What's going on?
[20:30] Sada
Are there more bandits about?
[20:40] Gin
Zura would love to see this.
[20:45] Gin
Who would have thought we'd be trying
[20:47] ---
to seize this country for
the sake of an old woman?
[20:50] Shin
This makes us wanted criminals.
[20:54] Shin
Sis won't be happy.
[20:55] Kag
Don't worry, sister lover.
[20:57] Kag
If there's no place for us
on Earth, we'll go to space.
[21:01] Gin
Odd Jobs in space?
[21:03] Gin
That doesn't sound too bad.
[21:05] Tsu
The independent city Yoshiwara
will keep you safe.
[21:09] Gin
Odd Jobs in Yoshiwara?
[21:12] Tsu
No, there's a gay bar
that's understaffed.
[21:15] Soyo
That means we'll be seizing your
balls after you seize this country.
[21:19] Kag
Ow!
[21:21] Kag
Why did you hit me?!
[21:22] Gin
Were you the one who
brought her with us?
[21:24] Gin
Were you the one who taught
her those dirty jokes?
[21:26] Kag
It's your fault for telling dirty
jokes to innocent little girls!
[21:30] Kag
Girls our age absorb
everything like sponges!
[21:33] Gin
A sponge?! You're more like a
dirty rag soaked in milk!
[21:35] Kag
Shut up, toilet paper!
[21:37] Gin
I at least deserve to be called a rag!
A rag used to wipe asses!
[21:47] Tsu
Are you sure about this?
[21:50] Tsu
You'll be sacrificing
everything for Yoshiwara.
[21:52] Gin
It's too late.
[21:55] Gin
I already made a promise.
[21:57] Tsu
I see.
[21:59] Tsu
In that case...
[22:01] Tsu
Promise me this.
[22:03] Tsu
We will all return alive.
[22:10] Gin
It's a promise.
SIGN To be continued...
[23:45] Gin
I'm starting to feel the pressure.
[23:47] Gin
There was the One Piece film
at the end of the year.
[23:49] Gin
Then you've got Hunter x Hunter and
Dragon Ball films in spring, and us in summer.
[23:52] Kag
We should ask TV Tokyo to show our
movie with the Pokemon movie.
[23:57] Gin
That's it!
[23:58] Shin
That's it, my ass!
SIGN Five Pinkies
SIGN The Bakufu army stands in the way.
SIGN Overwhelming manpower!! Firepower!!
SIGN Our five heroes have made a promise
SIGN to seize this country!!
E259 - Five Pinkies
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Sada
These criminals are guilty
of murdering Bakufu officials
[00:04] ---
as well as the leader
of those snooping dogs.
[00:09] Tsu
Stop.
[00:10] Tsu
We've heard enough, Your Highness.
[00:12] Gin
We already know the rest of the story.
[00:14] Hiji
Try to commit a crime that's
worthy of this punishment.
[00:18] Hiji
What crime will you be guilty of?
[00:21] Gin
The crime of
[00:22] Gin
ripping off a lord's
topknot down there.
[00:24] Tsu
Are you sure about this?
[00:26] Tsu
You'll be sacrificing
everything for Yoshiwara.
[00:28] Gin
It's too late.
[00:30] Gin
I already made a promise.
[00:33] Tsu
I see.
[00:34] Tsu
In that case...
[00:36] Tsu
Promise me this.
[00:37] Tsu
We will all return alive.
SIGN Five Pinkies
[02:17] Gin
I promise.
[02:19] Gin
We'll bring the old man
back to Suzuran together.
[02:22] Nobu
Finished with your last farewells?
[02:26] Shin
Nobume-san?
[02:27] Shin
Are you joining us?
[02:29] Nobu
As a survivor of the Mimawarigumi,
[02:31] Nobu
I must fulfill my mission.
[02:34] Nobu
Besides...
[02:35] Nobu
I'll get to cut people up.
[02:39] Kag
Hey!
[02:41] Nobu
Out of the way, mobs.
[02:43] Kag
Or else we kill the princess!
[02:44] All
Your Highness!
[02:46] A
How dare you disrespect Her Highness?!
[02:48] A
A hundred executions wouldn't
be enough to punish this crime!
[02:51] Kag
Shut the hell up!
[02:52] Kag
Zip your stinkin' mouths!
[02:54] Nobu
Every time someone speaks,
I cut off a finger.
[02:58] Shin
Gin-san, assuming that
we manage to survive,
[03:01] Shin
we won't be able to
live in Edo anymore.
[03:03] Soyo
H-Help!
[03:05] Soyo
Why is this happening to me?!
[03:07] Shin
This is the only time her
acting has been believable!
[03:10] Shin
How are we supposed to explain this?!
[03:13] Nobu
She said to zip your stinkin' mouth.
[03:15] Soyo
That applies to me, too?
[03:16] Nobu
How many times did you speak?
[03:17] Soyo
I-I don't know...
[03:19] Nobu
Okay...
[03:20] Nobu
I don't feel like counting,
so I'll do this.
[03:22] Shin
What?!
[03:23] All
Your Highness!
[03:24] Nobu
Okay, you talked again,
so one more time.
[03:26] A
We understand! Let them pass!
[03:28] Nobu
Okay, you talked again,
so one more time.
[03:30] Shin
Enough! That's enough!
[03:34] Soyo
That went well.
[03:36] Shin
No, that did not go well, Your Highness.
[03:39] Shin
The damage to our reputation
is irreparable now.
[03:41] Soy
I was really nervous, but it was funny
[03:43] ---
how everyone was so surprised, right?
[03:46] Both
Right.
[03:47] Shin
The Three Sadisteers can shut up!
[03:49] Tsu
However, it would be dangerous to
continue this charade, Your Highness.
[03:51] Tsu
Please find a place to hide.
[03:53] Soyo
Please let me help you see this through.
[03:57] Soyo
I didn't know what I was doing,
[03:59] ---
but I was the one chaining
Grampy inside the castle.
[04:02] Soyo
Grampy probably wanted
to leave the castle
SIGN All right!
[04:06] ---
far more than I did, but
I never noticed a thing...
SIGN Behave yourself, Your Highness!
[04:09] Soyo
He was always watching over me.
[04:11] Soyo
So it's my turn to help him.
[04:14] Soyo
Even if it means he'll
scold me for misbehaving.
[04:17] Kag
Soyo-chan...
[04:18] Soyo
Let's hurry.
[04:19] Soyo
My uncle is over here.
[04:22] Shin
Your Highness?!
[04:24] Shin
Wait!
[04:25] Shin
She just knocked herself out
after saying she wanted to help!
SIGN Odd Jobs
[04:28] Shin
This looks like a murder scene now!
[04:30] Shin
And why did she write Odd
Jobs as her dying message?!
[04:34] Tsu
We can't let anyone see this!
[04:36] Nobu
It's faster to destroy the evidence.
[04:37] Tsu
You're too fast!
[04:39] Gin
Oops, I really embarrassed myself.
[04:41] Gin
Wait.
[04:42] Gin
My embarrassment is faster
than my mouth can move.
[04:45] Tsu
Enough with the Ikkoku-dou!
[04:47] All
What have you bastards done?!
[04:50] Shin
There's a whole horde coming for us!
[04:52] Kag
Hold on, Soyo-chan!
[04:54] A
Kill every single one of the rebels!
[04:57] A
No mercy for the women and children!
[05:02] Kag
Women and children?
[05:04] Kag
That's some big talk!
[05:07] Nobu
Naturally, that scum
would be served by scum.
[05:10] Nobu
This nation has no respect for women.
[05:17] All
Open fire!
[05:20] Tsu
Show that you can stop
the women you sneer at!
[05:25] Tsu
Show that you can defend the castle
[05:27] ---
built upon the tears of those women!
[05:30] Tsu
Since you've forgotten about them,
[05:33] Tsu
we'll have to remind you!
[05:35] A
Kill them!
[05:44] Tsu
These women
[05:46] Tsu
have come to topple a county.
[05:50] Gin
Good grief.
[05:51] Gin
We've got three nation
breakers with us.
[05:53] Shin
That sounds tougher than
taking on the shogun.
[05:57] Gin
I'll give you some advice.
Call for reinforcements.
[06:00] Gin
You might be the shogun's
personal guards,
[06:03] Gin
but you're probably too soft from
all the peace and quiet to take us on.
[06:07] Gin
Meanwhile, we're still at war,
[06:10] Gin
fighting for our lives every day
against those psychos!
[06:33] Kag
Gin-chan, how many do we each take?
[06:36] Gin
One hundred, two hundred...
[06:38] Gin
Forget it. I'm putting myself to sleep.
[06:41] Gin
Listen up.
[06:42] Gin
Stay close together.
[06:44] Gin
Trust the rest of us to watch your back
[06:47] Gin
and focus on the enemies
in front of you.
[06:49] Gin
As long as you're standing,
we're all standing.
[06:53] Gin
Become the blade for
taking down that wall.
[06:56] Gin
We're gonna crush the
shogun's silly toy box!
[07:00] Gin
It's time to seize
[07:01] Gin
this country!
[07:03] A
S-Stop them!
[07:05] A
Form a wall!
[07:06] A
We can't let these rebels
get any closer to our lor—
[07:10] Gin
Weak!
[07:11] Gin
Weaker than Zazami Original!
[07:14] Gin
And you call yourselves
the shogun's samurai?!
[07:19] A
W-We can't stop them!
[07:20] A
Not from the front, the
right, the left, the rear!
[07:24] A
There's no opening!
[07:25] A
The five rebels are
like a giant bullet!
[07:28] B
Move!
[07:30] B
We're going to shoot
down these crazy fools!
[07:37] B
Fire!
[07:38] B
Fire! Fire! Fire!
[07:49] B
W-Watch our flanks!
[08:01] A
Second round loaded!
[08:03] A
Blow 'em to smithereens!
[08:23] B
Again!
[08:24] B
Hurry up with the next shot!
[08:28] A
W-Wait! Our comrades are inside!
[08:34] Shin
That was mean, Kagura-chan!
[08:35] Shin
Why am I the only one
getting this treatment?!
[08:37] A
Shit! They took the cannon!
[08:46] Gin
We finally made it to
the shogun's place.
[08:49] Kag
Huh? I don't see an intercom.
[08:51] Gin
Oh well.
[08:53] Gin
We'll have to use this.
[08:54] A
Wait!
[08:55] A
Not that!
[08:56] A
Anything but that!
[08:57] Gin
Shogun-sama!
[08:58] Gin
Come out and play!
[09:09] Gin
Sorry to keep you waiting, Shogun-sama.
[09:12] Gin
The #1 delivery lady, the courtesan
Suzuran, has come to see you.
[09:17] Gin
And it's too late to request a change.
[09:19] Gin
Did you wash that filthy ass of yours?
[09:22] Gin
You won't be getting any sleep tonight.
[09:27] Sada
Life is filled with surprises.
[09:29] Sada
You must be the first in
history to insult the Bakufu
[09:32] ---
and sully the Tokugawa name
in such a fashion.
[09:37] Sada
If you intended to beg for mercy,
you've only added to your crimes.
[09:42] Nobu
You are the criminal here.
[09:45] Nobu
I, Imai Nobume, vice-captain
of the Mimawarigumi,
[09:49] ---
know everything you've done.
[09:51] Nobu
Tokugawa Sadasada,
[09:53] Nobu
you are under arrest for the
assassination of Bakufu officials.
[09:57] Sada
A surviving Hitotsubashi
dog is talking about
[10:01] ---
judging me in a court of law?
[10:04] Sada
How can you judge me when
I rule this country?
[10:08] ---
When I am the law?
[10:11] Tsu
If we cannot judge you on the surface,
[10:13] Tsu
we will judge you underground.
[10:15] Tsu
The woman's tears you
spilled in Yoshiwara...
[10:18] Tsu
The man's blood you spilled...
[10:19] Tsu
The heavens may forgive you,
[10:22] Tsu
but the law in Yoshiwara,
Lady Death, will not.
[10:27] Tsu
Release that man.
[10:28] Tsu
Where did you take him?
[10:32] Tsu
I just asked you a question!
[10:42] Oboro
When disaster strikes,
[10:44] Oboro
some choose to curse the heavens.
[10:47] Oboro
When misfortune befalls you,
[10:50] Oboro
it is the will of the heavens.
[10:52] Oboro
The fate the heavens have dealt.
[10:54] Oboro
You must silently accept that fate.
[10:57] Oboro
Our blades serve as the
voice of the heavens.
[11:00] Kag
Who are they?
[11:01] Nobu
Be careful. That's not
your ordinary cult.
[11:04] Nobu
They're a group of assassins
who have served
[11:07] ---
the rulers of this nation from
the shadows for a long time.
[11:11] Nobu
Men of taboo who were eliminated
from central government
[11:14] Nobu
when we entered a period of peace.
[11:16] Nobu
When the Oniwabanshu was disbanded,
[11:20] Nobu
Sadasada turned to them
for his shady business.
[11:23] Oboro
We are the Yatagarasu for the heavens.
[11:26] Oboro
The Tenshoin Naraku.
[11:29] Nobu
Oboro...
[11:30] Nobu
The leader of the Tenshoin and
the strongest Naraku warrior.
[11:34] Nobu
That man is involved in this?
[11:36] Sada
The one to judge is heaven.
In other words, the shogun.
[11:40] Sada
The earth-crawlers are the
ones who are judged.
[11:43] Sada
That is how the world works.
[11:45] Sada
You are only allowed to
look up at the heavens.
[11:49] Sada
However, you need not lament.
[11:51] Sada
The heavens do not
always bring disaster.
[11:56] Sada
The heavens also bring good fortune.
[12:00] Sada
I believe you were
looking for that man.
[12:03] Shin
Gr-Grampy!
[12:05] Sada
If you can escape alive, you will be
able to reunite him with Suzuran.
[12:09] Sada
Though I doubt he will survive
long enough to reach Yoshiwara.
[12:13] Sada
Even if he does survive,
[12:18] Sada
he's lost the pinky he swore on
and the arm he used to hold her.
[12:24] Sada
He should just end his miserable life.
[12:27] Sada
So much for loyalty when he's
betrayed me not once, but twice.
[12:31] Sada
The heavens are punishing
him as a result.
[12:35] Sada
And now he's literally an
earth-crawling worm.
[13:01] Gin
Hey.
[13:03] Gin
The pinky he swore on is still around.
[13:07] Gin
He's got five pinkies right
here that are gonna drag you
[13:11] ---
from heaven to hell.
[13:29] Grampy
Wh-What are you...?
[13:31] Tsu
You've endured so much.
[13:34] Tsu
You've been through so much.
[13:36] Tsu
I'm sorry that you had to wait so long.
[13:41] Tsu
But there's nothing to worry about.
[13:43] Tsu
The moon you have longed for
[13:45] Tsu
has risen.
[13:47] Tsu
In the land where you once made a vow,
[13:50] Tsu
there is a light that will
shine through any darkness.
[13:54] Tsu
This moon will never fall.
[13:58] Tsu
Shinpachi, Kagura, please guide him.
[14:01] Tsu
We'll bring up the rear.
[14:03] Nobu
I'm allowed to cut down
whoever I want now, right?
[14:06] Tsu
Yes, do as you please.
[14:08] Tsu
In the morning, this will have
been nothing more than a dream.
[14:16] Sada
You're buying time for
an old man to escape?
[14:19] Sada
Do you really think you can escape
[14:22] Sada
from my grasp?
[14:25] Gin
I'm not running away.
[14:28] Gin
Is it gonna be the sun or the
moon that sits up in the sky?
[14:32] Gin
Let's settle this once and for all.
[14:34] Gin
How about it, heavenly errand boy?
[14:47] Tsu
Let's go!
[15:56] Tsu
What are you doing, Gintoki?!
[15:57] Tsu
Pull yourself together!
[15:58] Nobu
If you want to die, I'll
cut you up right now.
[16:01] Nobu
You were hit in a pressure point.
[16:03] Nobu
By a poisoned needle.
[16:05] Gin
Is it bad?
[16:06] Nobu
It'll paralyze you,
[16:08] Nobu
and kill you if the poison isn't removed.
[16:14] Sada
You seem to be struggling.
[16:17] Sada
It's rare to see someone
last so long against you, Oboro.
[16:26] Oboro
Actually, it's happened once before.
[16:30] Oboro
There was a demon who chose
to oppose the heavens.
[16:40] Oboro
You still have that same
look in your eyes,
[16:44] Oboro
White Yaksha.
[16:45] Gin
Yo—
[16:48] Gin
You're...
[16:50] Tsu
Gintoki?
[16:51] Sada
Oh? Do you know him, Oboro?
[16:55] Oboro
My Lord, he is an orphan
of the Kansei purge.
[16:58] Tsu
Kansei purge?
[17:01] Sada
Are you from Yoshiwara?
[17:03] Sada
Then you wouldn't know.
[17:06] Sada
The Joi war...
[17:07] Sada
When the nation was opened
up, the ignorant samurai
[17:11] ---
accused the Bakufu of selling
the country and revolted.
[17:17] Sada
As our relationship with the Amanto
soured, we put down the samurai.
[17:22] Sada
Ever since, this nation has
been in a state of civil war.
[17:27] Sada
As the war dragged on, the Amanto
began intervening in domestic affairs
[17:31] ---
under the pretense
of cleansing the rebels.
[17:36] Sada
Ironic that the Joi revolt led
to increased Amanto influence.
[17:41] Sada
And then the Tendoshu instructed
the Bakufu to initiate
[17:45] ---
the deadliest cleansing of the
century, the Kansei purge.
[17:49] Sada
Every last Joi rebel, from
the minor agitators to
[17:53] ---
the public officials, was
targeted as part of the purge.
[17:57] Sada
The brutal crackdown led to a
sharp decline in Joi activity.
[18:03] Sada
Oboro and his brethren were
instrumental in that process.
[18:08] Sada
They were led by his predecessor,
[18:12] ---
but he was every bit as
skilled in the martial arts.
[18:17] Oboro
My Lord, that wasn't the
end of the samurai.
[18:22] Oboro
While many samurai threw away their
swords after losing their leaders,
[18:26] Oboro
some were plotting to rescue
one of those captive leaders.
[18:31] Oboro
They were these men, the ones
known as the last samurai.
[18:38] Oboro
They were the students of
[18:40] ---
the evil criminal who dared
to oppose the heavens,
[18:43] Oboro
Yoshida Shoyo.
[18:45] Oboro
His students took up their swords
to rescue their teacher.
[18:51] Tsu
G-Gintoki?
[18:53] Tsu
You lost your teacher?
[18:56] Oboro
Do you recall that name, my Lord?
[19:00] Sada
Yoshida Shoyo...
[19:03] Sada
Was there such a person?
[19:07] Sada
Do you think I remember the corpses of
[19:09] ---
every worm I stomped on my way to power?
[19:11] Sada
If he happened to be a major
criminal, I might remember him.
[19:14] Sada
What was his crime?
[19:18] Oboro
Actually, I can't recall either.
[19:22] Oboro
I do remember that he
taught sword and pen
[19:25] ---
to some children in the country.
[19:27] Sada
That was it?
[19:29] Oboro
However, my Lord, we
were told to crush such gatherings
[19:33] ---
as they might foment rebellion.
[19:38] Sada
I see. And I was correct to order that.
[19:42] Sada
Yoshida Shoyo...
[19:43] Sada
His crime was creating
dissenters like him.
[19:51] Tsu
Wait, Gintoki!
[19:59] Oboro
Why is the demon who battled the
heavens and fell to the ground
[20:03] Oboro
still wandering around here?
[20:09] Oboro
Why is the demon who lost everything
to the heavens still howling at them?
[20:15] Oboro
You, all of you, should
have learned your lesson.
[20:19] Oboro
You can shout, you can scream,
[20:22] Oboro
but your voices will
never reach the heavens.
[20:26] Oboro
And neither will your sobs.
[20:32] Tsu
Gintoki!
[20:37] Oboro
Will you make the same mistake
again, White Yaksha?
[20:41] Oboro
You can sit there and watch
until you bleed to death.
[20:44] Oboro
As everything you tried to
protect is destroyed again.
[20:50] Oboro
Shoyo is also watching
[20:53] Oboro
as the student he sacrificed
his life to protect
[20:55] Oboro
falls apart without protecting a thing.
[21:03] Gin
Don't you leave...
[21:06] Gin
Don't you leave!
[21:09] Gin
You bastards are...
[21:18] Tsu
Gintoki!
[21:27] Shin
Kagura-chan!
[21:29] All
Die!
[21:38] Gin
Move...
[21:43] Gin
Move!
[21:48] Gin
Please...
[21:50] Gin
Move!
[22:00] Kondo
Excuse me.
[22:01] Kondo
What are you doing here
so late at night?
[22:04] Sasa
Excuse me, could you please
show me your license?
[22:08] Kondo
Good evening.
[22:10] Sasa
This is the police.
SIGN To be continued...
[23:45] Kag
I can't wait for summer!
[23:48] Kag
I'm so excited!
[23:49] Gin
No kidding. I'm getting
goosebumps already.
[23:52] Shin
Yup, when we go to the
theater this summer...
[23:54] Both
How many Pokemon will we get?
[23:56] Shin
You're excited about that one?!
SIGN Pinky Swear
SIGN The situation is looking grim
SIGN when the Shinsengumi and Mimawarigumi arrive!!
SIGN The revolt that began with five people
SIGN will reach its climax next week!!
E260 - Pinky Swear
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Oboro
Shoyo is also watching
[00:07] Oboro
as the student he sacrificed
his life to protect
[00:10] Oboro
falls apart without protecting a thing.
[00:14] Gin
Don't you leave...
[00:16] Gin
Don't you leave!
[00:19] Tsu
Gintoki!
[00:30] Kondo
Excuse me.
[00:31] Kondo
What are you doing here
so late at night?
[00:34] Sasa
Excuse me, could you please
show me your license?
[02:09] Oboro
Please hurry, My Lord.
[02:11] Sada
What's the matter, Oboro?
[02:12] Sada
I was hoping to watch those
rebels meet their demise.
[02:19] Oboro
The crows are astir.
[02:21] Oboro
It appears that there's
been a shift in the wind.
[02:24] Sada
What are you talking about?
[02:26] Sada
Those rebels are already...
[02:33] Kondo
Good evening.
[02:35] Sasa
This is the police.
[02:37] Sasa
What are you people doing?
[02:41] Sasa
If you screw up...
[02:43] Kondo
We'll lose our heads!
[02:46] Gin
Y-You guys...
SIGN Pinky Swear
[02:58] A
I-Impossible!
[02:59] A
Why are the Mimawarigumi
inside the palace?!
[03:01] B
What's going on here?!
[03:04] B
You serve the Bakufu!
[03:06] B
You're police officers, yet you assist
the rebels, you traitorous scum?!
[03:10] Kondo
Assist the rebels?
[03:12] Kondo
Don't make false accusations.
[03:16] Kondo
There was an order to execute
those criminals in the morning.
[03:20] Kondo
If you're trying to dispatch
them before the sun is up,
[03:24] Kondo
you would be the ones
defying the government.
[03:28] Kondo
Our lord ordered us to guard
[03:30] ---
the criminals until the
execution takes place.
[03:33] Kondo
In other words, it is our duty
to protect them until morning.
[03:40] Shin
K-Kondo-san...
[03:42] A
You rural samurai don't get to talk!
[03:44] A
Have you forgotten who let you
country bumpkins keep your swords?!
[03:48] A
And now you're biting the
hand that feeds you!
[03:51] A
You're lower than rebel
scum, you animals!
[03:53] Oki
I'm fine with being an animal.
[03:55] Oki
Beats being a dog that wags
its tail at fat pigs.
[04:00] Oki
When a fat pig is lying
on the ground before you,
[04:03] Oki
it gets eaten by
[04:05] Oki
the wolves.
[04:07] Kag
Don't call me a pig,
you punk Chihuahua!
[04:09] Oki
I wasn't talking about you, Miss Piggy!
[04:11] Kag
It was about me!
[04:12] A
Were you the ones who let the
Mimawarigumi inside the palace?!
[04:15] A
Has Sasaki joined forces with the
Shinsengumi to start a coup d'etat?!
[04:22] Hiji
Who joined forces with who
to start a what d'etat?
[04:27] Hiji
Why don't you repeat that?
[04:29] A
Have you...
[04:31] Hiji
Eh? I couldn't hear you. What was that?
[04:33] B
...and the Mimawarigumi...
[04:35] Hiji
I said that I can't hear you! Yell it out!
[04:39] C
...joined forces?
[04:40] Hiji
Can't hear a thing! And I'm
not interested in hearing you!
[04:43] Hiji
You make me want to throw up!
[04:44] Hiji
Who would join forces
with those losers?!
[04:46] Kondo
Calm down, Toshi.
[04:47] Hiji
Okay, Kondo-san.
[04:48] Hiji
We've got them inside the palace.
[04:50] Hiji
Let's torch 'em with Sadasada!
[04:52] Kondo
Wait! That wasn't part of the plan!
[04:54] Kondo
Hell, you're sounding
like one of the Joi now!
[04:55] A
Forget it! Kill 'em all!
[04:59] Sasa
Oh, it appears that
they've gotten started.
[05:03] Sasa
As you can see, the palace has
been surrounded by us elites.
[05:08] Sasa
I told them to drop their weapons
and surrender, but I was lying.
[05:13] Sasa
I've always wanted to say that.
[05:16] Sasa
Please don't drop your weapons.
[05:19] Sasa
It would look bad if the cops
[05:21] ---
were to slaughter a
bunch of unarmed people.
[05:25] Gin
Y-You bastard...
[05:27] Nobu
You're late.
[05:28] Sasa
I'm so sorry, Nobume-san.
[05:31] Sasa
Thank you for carrying out your
mission alone while I was gone.
[05:36] Sasa
Here's a donut for you.
[05:40] Sasa
You see, being an elite, I was
able to avoid a lethal blow,
[05:44] Sasa
but it took a while to remove
the poison from my body.
[05:46] Sasa
Well, it was still easier than
removing a curry udon stain.
[05:52] Sasa
And it appears that you took good
care of our Nobume, Sakata-san.
[05:57] Sasa
I owe you now.
[06:00] Nobu
They only got in my way.
[06:02] Sasa
You can't blame them.
[06:04] Sasa
Nobume-san, they're ordinary
people, unlike us elites.
[06:09] Sasa
But it appears that he won't be
of any more use at this point.
[06:13] Gin
That's bullshit.
[06:16] Gin
The elite must be really
special to need help
[06:19] ---
from the ordinary to make it back here.
[06:22] Sasa
It wasn't by choice.
[06:25] Sasa
A certain person requested
that we work together.
[06:28] Sasa
And we are simply using each
other to ensure our survival.
[06:33] Sasa
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
[06:35] Sasa
Oh, excuse me.
[06:37] Sasa
That's probably too difficult for
you ordinary folk to understand.
[06:41] Sasa
Essentially, it's like Nobita and
Gian in the Doraemon movies.
[06:45] Sasa
Two rivals who will use each other
to achieve the same purpose
[06:50] ---
when faced with a crisis.
[06:53] Gin
Doraemon isn't such a dark story.
[06:56] Sasa
In other words...
[07:04] Sasa
Sakata-san, you are useless trash now.
[07:09] Sasa
Now that I've disposed of that
garbage, let's clean this place up.
[07:17] Tsu
Bastard!
[07:21] Tsu
Gintoki!
[07:22] Tsu
Hang in there!
[07:23] Tsu
Hey, Ginto—
[07:32] Tsu
Gintoki, you...
[07:35] Tsu
What is this?
[07:36] Sasa
It's a form of acupuncture.
[07:38] Sasa
His body will still feel numb for a while,
[07:40] Sasa
but at least he'll be able to move.
[07:43] Sasa
I also injected some serum into him.
[07:45] Sasa
The elite never miss a step.
[07:48] Sasa
Consider my debt paid.
[07:51] Sasa
Now, go back to the
other ordinary people.
[07:54] Sasa
If you stick around, you'll end up
being taken out with the trash.
[07:59] Gin
Don't make me laugh.
[08:02] Gin
You're not giving me any interest
after taking this long to get here?!
[08:07] Sasa
Begging for more again?
[08:09] Sasa
What do you want?
[08:17] Gin
Sadasada's head.
[08:19] Sasa
Good grief.
[08:21] Sasa
That's a lot of interest.
[08:25] Gin
Nah, his head's worth nothing.
[08:35] Sasa
I have an order for the Mimawarigumi.
[08:37] Sasa
All elites will begin supporting
that ordinary man.
[08:41] Sasa
On our pride as elites, we must not
allow a single person to go upstairs.
[08:48] Tsu
You won't listen if I tell you that
your body can't take any more.
[08:52] Tsu
Then I'm coming with you.
[08:53] Tsu
I won't let you break our promise.
[08:55] Tsu
That goes for you and Maizo.
[08:58] Nobu
Time for the last stage.
[09:00] Nobu
I won't let you hog the glory.
[09:04] Nobu
The last bite of a donut
is always the best.
[09:18] Sada
What's going on here?
[09:21] Oboro
The Shinsengumi and Mimawarigumi,
[09:23] ---
the two largest police forces
in Edo, have joined forces.
[09:27] Sada
I was told that they were rivals.
[09:31] Oboro
It would seem that someone
has brought them together.
[09:35] Oboro
The ship will be here soon.
[09:36] Oboro
You should escape, for your own safety.
[09:40] Oboro
My Lord.
[09:41] Sada
Are they serious about
taking over this country?
[09:45] Sada
In that case, I must respond.
[09:50] Sada
Summon every remaining police
force to the palace.
[09:55] Sada
We'll crush them with all of our might.
[10:03] A
Wh-What's happening?!
[10:05] B
B-Big trouble!
[10:06] B
There are armies attacking
the north and south gates!
[10:08] A
Impossible! Who are they?!
[10:10] Matsu
Listen up!
[10:11] Matsu
Clear me a path in three seconds
[10:13] Matsu
or else I blow down the gates.
[10:15] Matsu
One.
[10:19] A
What happened to two and three?!
[10:21] Matsu
Couldn't tell you.
[10:22] ---
A man only needs the number
one to get through life.
[10:27] A
Th-The entire police force?!
[10:30] A
Impossible!
[10:31] A
The police are rebelling?!
[10:34] A
That's absolutely absurd!
[10:36] A
This is no uprising!
[10:38] A
Nobody's capable of bringing
all these men together!
[10:42] Kondo
There's one person who can do that.
[10:44] Kondo
One person capable of ordering
the police, or anyone, around.
[10:48] Kondo
You still don't understand
what this is, Lord Sadasada?
[11:06] Shige
You are the traitor who has betrayed
[11:08] Shige
this country.
[11:10] Sada
Shigeshige... So you're behind this.
[11:13] A
My Lord! What are you doing here?!
[11:17] Shige
Lower your weapons.
[11:19] Shige
We've wasted too much time fighting.
[11:21] Shige
You men are valuable soldiers
who defend this country.
[11:25] Shige
I will not allow you to
throw your lives away.
[11:28] A
B-But, My Lord...
[11:29] A
We have orders from Sadasada-sama.
[11:31] Shige
Were you not listening?
[11:34] Shige
I told you to drop your weapons.
[11:50] Shige
Will you clear a path for me?
[11:57] A
My Lord?!
[11:57] A
You mustn't!
[11:59] A
They're rebel scum who
wronged our country!
[12:01] A
It's dangerous to approach them!
[12:07] Shin
Sh-Shogun-sama...
[12:10] Shige
My shortcomings have caused
you so much suffering.
[12:13] Shige
Let me offer you my gratitude.
[12:15] Shige
Thank you for defending
my loyal retainer.
[12:20] Shige
If it weren't for you, I would have...
[12:23] Shige
We would have allowed the beloved
man who raised us to die.
[12:28] Soyo
Grampy!
[12:32] Mai
Y-Your Highness...
[12:33] Shige
Grampy, I'm sorry.
[12:36] Shige
I was by your side,
[12:39] Shige
yet I never realized your pain.
[12:43] Shige
You've devoted your life to
serving the shogun family,
[12:48] Shige
yet we've only made you suffer for it.
[12:53] Shige
Grampy, is it too late to
[12:58] ---
fulfill your promise?
[13:01] Mai
Shigeshige-sama...
[13:07] Shige
Soyo, take care of Grampy.
[13:09] Soyo
Yes, Brother.
[13:12] Shige
Clear a path.
[13:17] Shige
I need to talk to my uncle.
[13:19] Sada
The man who raised them?
[13:22] Sada
Oboro, what is he talking about?
[13:27] Sada
Who was the one who turned a helpless,
[13:31] ---
fatherless boy into the shogun?
[13:37] Sada
Who was the one who kept
you and this nation safe
[13:42] ---
while being accused of
selling out this country?!
[13:47] Sada
It was me!
[13:49] Sada
I, Tokugawa Sadasada, am
the father of this nation!
[13:54] Sada
My rule has kept this nation safe.
[13:58] Sada
Despite all that, you now
choose to turn on me?!
[14:04] Oboro
They say that a doll will gain
a heart if enough time passes,
[14:09] Oboro
though it seems that this doll
was given a stubborn soul.
[14:13] Oboro
He's realized that you were protecting
yourself, not this nation.
[14:19] Oboro
If you continue to
cling to this country,
[14:22] ---
your position may not
be the only thing lost.
[14:24] Oboro
You may lose your life.
[14:26] Oboro
Please join me in seeking
help from the Tendoshu.
[14:30] Sada
Are you telling me to abandon
[14:32] ---
what's taken me half
my life to build up?!
[14:34] Sada
To run off to the Tendoshu and
allow these traitors to live?!
[14:40] Oboro
Considering the contributions
you have made,
[14:42] ---
they will surely assist
in restoring you to power.
[14:46] Sada
Nonsense.
[14:48] Sada
They consider both myself
and Shigeshige...
[14:51] Sada
No, they consider this entire planet
to be nothing more than a tool.
[14:55] Sada
Isn't that right, messenger
of the heavens,
[14:58] Sada
Yatagarasu?
[15:01] Sada
The Tendoshu sent you to ensure that
I would be an expendable tool.
[15:07] Sada
If I am the traitor who
sold out this country,
[15:10] Sada
you Naraku are the crows
who feed on its carcass.
[15:16] Sada
That ship is here to help?
[15:17] Sada
Don't make me laugh!
[15:19] Sada
Once I meet with the Tendoshu,
[15:21] Sada
I'll never return to Earth.
[15:24] Oboro
We are ready to take
you wherever you wish.
[15:27] Oboro
Our mission is to assist
you in any way possible.
[15:33] Sada
You'll take me wherever I wish?
[15:35] Sada
In that case,
[15:37] Sada
let's go to Yoshiwara!
[15:41] Sada
The place where my rule began.
[15:43] Sada
The cursed land where I was betrayed.
[15:47] Sada
I want you to prove your
loyalty to me in that place.
[15:51] Oboro
Prove our loyalty? How?
[15:55] Sada
Kill Suzuran.
[15:58] Sada
That betrayal was where this all began.
[16:01] Sada
So Maizo and Suzuran...
[16:04] Sada
I will completely shatter your promise
and end this once and for all.
[16:12] Sada
I will punish every person
who dared to betray me.
[16:17] Oboro
If that is what you wish.
[16:20] Oboro
I will follow shortly.
[16:22] Oboro
Set sail for Yoshiwara.
[16:31] Gin
Yoshiwara?
[16:33] Gin
I don't think so.
[16:36] Gin
This ship won't take you to paradise...
[16:40] Gin
It's headed straight to hell, bastard.
[17:04] ---
You bastard...
[17:08] Kondo
Did he pull it off?
[17:11] Kagura
Gi—
[17:12] Shin
Gin-san!
[17:16] Oboro
You refuse to die.
[17:19] Oboro
I didn't expect you to drag that
beaten body back before me again.
[17:23] Oboro
You continue to fight?
You continue to howl?
[17:27] Oboro
If you would close your eyes, you
would not suffer any more loss.
[17:31] Oboro
Yet you return to the
battlefield again,
[17:35] Oboro
White Yaksha.
[17:37] Oboro
It's too late now.
[17:39] Oboro
No matter how much you struggle,
[17:41] Oboro
none of it will come back to you.
[17:44] Oboro
Not this country, not your
friends, not Shoyo...
[17:47] Sada
Th-The Tendoshu!
[17:49] Sada
Did they come here after
hearing about the revolt?!
[17:53] Sada
I-It's over...
[17:55] Sada
You're all finished!
[18:01] Oboro
You are nothing more than a ghost
[18:02] ---
who roams the battlefield in
search of that which was lost.
[18:05] Oboro
This is not where you belong.
[18:09] Oboro
You will be consumed by the flames
of revenge and sent back to hell,
[18:13] Oboro
demon!
[18:19] Oboro
He's trying to prevent me
from using poison needles?
[18:28] Oboro
He learned my technique just
by experiencing it once?
[18:32] Gin
Sent back to hell?
[18:34] Gin
You must be dreaming.
[18:37] Gin
You and I are already
on a date in hell.
[18:47] Oboro
Do you believe you can use
my own technique against me?
[18:50] Oboro
My assassination techniques aren't meant
[18:52] ---
to attack enemy pressure points.
[18:55] Oboro
They're meant for controlling my own
pressure points to maximize my strength.
[18:59] Oboro
I can easily remove any
poison from my body.
[19:03] Sada
O-Oboro...
[19:06] Gin
That's enough.
[19:08] Gin
Hell's too good for that guy,
[19:11] Gin
but it seems appropriate
for him to be judged
[19:13] ---
by the laws he created.
[19:15] Oboro
What?!
[19:24] Oboro
I don't need needles to attack
your pressure points!
[19:53] Oboro
It's over, White Yaksha!
[19:57] Gin
It's not over.
[19:59] Gin
I haven't lost.
[20:04] Gin
My body can still move.
[20:07] Gin
My hand can still reach.
[20:10] Shoyo
Gintoki,
[20:12] ---
look after things for me.
[20:15] Shoyo
Don't worry. It's no big deal.
[20:17] Shoyo
I'll be back very soon.
[20:21] Shoyo
So until then, please protect our friends,
[20:25] Shoyo
protect everyone, for me.
[20:33] Shoyo
Promise me that.
[20:47] Gin
Yeah.
[20:48] Gin
It's a promise.
[20:52] Gin
Sensei!
[21:09] Oboro
Go back to hell, White Yaksha!
[21:18] Gin
Sorry, I have a prior engagement.
[21:21] Gin
I already made reservations,
[21:25] Gin
so you'll have to wait in hell for me.
[21:30] Gin
Say hello to Sensei for me.
[21:32] Oboro
You bastard!
[22:04] Gin
Promises shouldn't be made lightly.
[23:45] Gin
Uh, so when in summer is
the movie coming out?
[23:49] Kagura
Summer's a long time.
[23:51] Gin
Stupid, summer is the period
when TUBE is active.
[23:55] Gin
So the movie can only be released
when Maeda's feeling up to it.
[23:58] Shin
Hell no!
SIGN Unsetting Moon
SIGN The Courtesan of a Nation arc
SIGN ends next episode.
SIGN Will the promises that were made
SIGN be fulfilled...?
E261 - Unsetting Moon
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:36] Nobu
The Tendoshu...
[01:38] Nobu
So they've gotten off their fat
asses to save their little toy.
[01:44] Sada
It's rather unfortunate,
dog of the Hitotsubashi.
[01:48] Sada
As I told you before,
nobody can ever judge me.
[01:52] Sada
You are the ones who will be judged.
[01:56] A
Lord Sadasada, it appears that
you've suffered a serious setback.
[02:02] A
I won't bother asking
for an explanation.
[02:04] A
No matter the reason,
[02:05] ---
it is not in the interest of
any of the parties involved
[02:10] ---
to allow further commotion on
the sacred palace grounds.
[02:12] A
You must have your
reasons for rebelling,
[02:16] ---
but we will be intervening
in this matter.
[02:19] A
We will take temporary
custody of Lord Sadasada.
[02:22] A
Would you not agree that
his sentence should
[02:25] ---
be determined after
thorough investigation?
[02:29] A
And while your cause
may have been just,
[02:32] ---
you must be punished for
disrupting the gover—
[02:33] Shige
That won't be necessary.
[02:36] Shige
I apologize for the
long trip you've made,
[02:40] Shige
but this is a domestic affair.
[02:44] Shige
It only makes sense for us
to settle this ourselves.
[02:47] Sada
Sh-Shigeshige?!
[02:48] A
Why, if it isn't the shogun.
[02:50] A
I'm glad to see that you are safe.
[02:53] A
But are you sure about that?
[02:55] A
We proposed this solution
with you in mind.
[02:58] A
Sheltered by your uncle, you
have grown to be a gentle lord.
[03:02] A
Would you be capable of
executing the beloved retainers
[03:04] ---
who have turned their swords on you?
[03:07] Shige
None of them have turned
their swords on me.
[03:11] Shige
They may be branded traitors
and enemies of the state,
[03:16] Shige
but I know what it is that
they strive to protect.
[03:20] Shige
They do not follow laws written by
politicians for their own convenience.
[03:25] Shige
They do not serve the
empty title of shogun.
[03:30] Shige
They follow their convictions.
[03:32] Shige
They serve their souls.
[03:34] Shige
That is what they fight for.
[03:36] Shige
You can sully their reputation, but
you cannot tarnish their hearts.
[03:42] Shige
If I were to call that a crime
and punish them for it...
[03:55] Shige
My entire army would become criminals
[03:57] ---
for turning their swords
on their foolish ruler.
[04:01] Shige
If I tried to punish them all,
this nation would crumble.
[04:06] Sada
Shigeshige! You bastard!
[04:09] Shige
They have committed no crime.
[04:12] Shige
The blame lies with the shogun family
that was unworthy of ruling them.
[04:17] Shige
Uncle, I am prepared to accept
responsibility for failing to stop you.
SIGN Resignation
[04:25] Shige
We can go to hell together.
[04:30] Sada
A-Are you going to give up
your position as shogun?!
[04:36] Shige
Please leave.
[04:38] Shige
This is
[04:40] Shige
Samurai Country.
SIGN Unsetting Moon
[04:49] A
You did a spectacular job, Sasaki-dono.
[04:54] A
Nobunobu-sama was impressed by
the devotion you demonstrated
[04:58] ---
by carrying out your
mission while injured.
[05:01] A
You will be rewarded once
the Hitotsubashi faction
[05:04] ---
establishes a new government.
[05:07] A
Our greatest enemy, Sadasada, has been
[05:09] ---
imprisoned after his
crimes were exposed.
[05:12] A
And what's amazing is
that Shigeshige stepped
SIGN Resignation
[05:16] ---
down as shogun to take him down.
[05:19] A
We are now in position
[05:21] ---
to name Nobunobu-sama as
the next shogun with ease.
[05:26] Sasa
Nezu-dono, this is a
government hospital.
[05:30] Sasa
There are ears everywhere.
[05:32] A
Impossible. The Hitotsubashi's
time has come.
[05:36] A
Nobody would dare to
stand against us now.
[05:38] Hiji
I beg to differ.
[05:39] Hiji
The walls have ears and
the doors have eyes.
[05:42] Hiji
And there are...
[05:43] Kondo
...fairies on your shoulders.
[05:47] Nezu
Demons!
[05:48] Nezu
I must get going!
[05:49] Nezu
Take care!
[05:51] Sasa
I never dreamed that you
would come visit me.
[05:55] Sasa
It appears that despite your appearance,
[05:58] ---
you have the hearts of fairies.
[06:00] Hiji
Well, you're lined up to be
the next police commissioner.
[06:04] Hiji
Why not start kissing some ass?
[06:08] Hiji
We'll come to your funeral.
[06:12] Sasa
Have you come to take my life after
[06:15] ---
realizing you were being used?
[06:17] Kondo
We would be happy to let you use us
if it meant a tyrant could be toppled,
[06:21] Kondo
but if your goal was to make our lord
[06:24] ---
take the fall to protect
us, we'll take steps.
[06:30] Sasa
Loyalty to your lord?
[06:32] Sasa
Topple tyrants?
[06:34] Sasa
Is that truly why you
took up your swords?
[06:38] Sasa
If you believe I orchestrated the
[06:41] ---
shogun's fall for the sake
of the Hitotsubashi faction,
[06:43] ---
you are sorely mistaken.
[06:45] Sasa
Not even an elite could have
predicted this would happen.
[06:49] Sasa
To think that the ruler
of a nation gave up his position
[06:52] ---
for the sake of a mere samurai.
[06:55] Sasa
To think that the wild monkeys
would take up their swords
[06:58] ---
for an ancient promise.
[06:59] Sasa
That man defies all reason.
[07:02] Sasa
That Sakata Gintoki...
[07:05] Sasa
I hope that capricious girl's stubborn streak
[07:10] ---
wasn't a result of his bad influence.
[07:13] Sasa
What do you say, Nobume-san?
[07:18] Sasa
Unfortunately, I'm not naive
enough to believe that
[07:22] ---
replacing the shogun
will change this world.
[07:27] Sasa
Instead of depending
on foreign countries,
[07:29] Sasa
we should build a nation
that can compete with them.
[07:32] Sasa
That is the dream of the
Hitotsubashi's leader,
[07:36] Sasa
but I'm not one to go in
for such a pipe dream.
[07:41] Sasa
I have much bigger plans in mind.
[07:46] Sasa
You don't need to worry.
[07:47] ---
The Tendoshu should
make their move soon.
[07:50] Sasa
You should be guarding Sadasada,
not hanging out here.
[07:55] Sasa
I had a report from my men.
[07:58] Sasa
The crow's carcass vanished.
[08:04] A
Sadasada failed us.
[08:06] B
He was so obsessed with
maintaining power that he
[08:09] ---
failed to notice the foundations
crumble beneath him.
[08:13] C
It would be detrimental to
restore him to power now.
[08:16] D
A fool who could not keep
up with Hitotsubashi
[08:20] ---
holds no value as a
ruler in the first place.
[08:23] E
We should have cut that worthless
puppet loose sooner.
[08:28] Oboro
While he may hold no value as a
puppet, he can still serve as bait.
[08:36] A
Have you returned, messenger
of the heavens, Yatagarasu?
[08:40] Oboro
It took a while to restore my
meridians and keep myself alive.
[08:46] A
Who would be capable of
injuring you so severely?
[08:50] Oboro
A demon who fell for the bait.
[08:54] A
Ah, a demon...
[08:56] Oboro
Sadasada is a figurehead
of the Joi suppression.
[09:00] Oboro
We need him to draw out certain foes.
[09:03] Oboro
There is no need to fear
the Hitotsubashi faction.
[09:07] Oboro
They are nothing more than
puppets, much like Sadasada.
[09:12] Oboro
The ones using this chance to sneak
into the heart of the country...
[09:16] ---
They are our true enemies.
[09:18] A
And we need that puppet to
bring out those demons?
[09:25] Sada
It took you long enough.
[09:29] Sada
I'd grown tired of waiting.
[09:31] Sada
I was thinking that the Tendoshu
had finally abandoned me.
[09:36] Sada
Now, unlock this door and release me.
[09:40] Sada
It's too bad, Shigeshige!
[09:43] Sada
You will never get to
judge me! No one will!
[09:46] Sada
Not even the heavens can judge me!
[09:54] Sada
Huh?
[09:57] Taka
That's right.
[09:59] Taka
You won't be judged by the
shogun or the heavens.
[10:05] Taka
You will be judged
[10:10] Taka
by me.
[10:11] Sada
Y-You're...
[10:14] Taka
Don't bother trying to remember me
[10:16] Taka
since I'll bring the Tendoshu
[10:18] Taka
and those worthless crows...
[10:20] Taka
No...
[10:22] Taka
I'll bring the heads of every person on
this planet down to hell with me.
[10:27] Taka
Say hello
[10:29] Taka
to Sensei for me.
[10:42] Oboro
Yes.
[10:44] Oboro
Those demons are our true enemies.
[10:48] Oboro
The students of Shoyo.
[10:51] Nobu
It appears that you were
a step too late, Oboro.
[10:56] Oboro
So you're not fooling around,
[10:59] ---
Mukuro...
[11:00] Oboro
No, you go by the name Imai Nobume now.
[11:04] Oboro
Once, you served the heavens and
[11:06] ---
were named one of the Naraku
Three at a young age,
[11:10] Oboro
yet you now side with a student
[11:13] ---
of Shoyo and turn your
blade on the heavens?
[11:17] Nobu
Isaburo said he would go along
with that man's grand scheme.
[11:22] Nobu
So I will do the same.
[11:24] Oboro
I see.
[11:26] Oboro
Then one of us will have
[11:28] ---
our feathers plucked
the next time we meet.
[11:32] Oboro
Wait.
[11:35] Oboro
Were those two anything like Shoyo?
[11:40] Nobu
No.
[11:42] Nobu
One was trying to protect
Shoyo's legacy.
[11:46] Nobu
The other was trying to
destroy Shoyo's legacy.
[11:51] Nobu
But they had one thing in common.
[11:55] Nobu
They both
[11:58] ---
had such sorrow in their eyes.
[12:13] Oki
I suppose this is karma.
[12:16] Oki
A man who built an empire
through assassination
[12:19] ---
was finished by an assassin.
[12:22] Oki
Well, it could get ugly if the
[12:24] ---
public learned this happened
right after that big ruckus,
[12:27] Oki
so the official announcement will
be that he died of illness.
[12:31] Oki
I can understand that
you're not happy about it,
[12:34] ---
but we've been given orders.
[12:36] Gin
What about the killer?
[12:37] Oki
Well, I can't tell if
they're even interested
[12:40] ---
in finding out who it was.
[12:43] Tsu
Did the Tendoshu kill him
so he couldn't talk?
[12:46] Oki
After they mobilized all those
people to rescue Sadasada?
[12:51] Oki
I'm pretty sure that
the Tendoshu were still
[12:54] ---
looking for a chance to
take back Sadasada.
[12:58] Oki
The assassination was
carried out despite that.
[13:00] Oki
No...
[13:02] Oki
It was probably meant
as a declaration of war
[13:04] ---
from the Hitotsubashi to the Tendoshu.
[13:06] Oki
To prove it, we have an imperial
decree from the Emperor.
[13:11] Shi
What? Shogun-sama's
resignation was denied?
[13:14] Soyo
Yes.
[13:15] Soyo
My brother has been
ordered to continue
[13:18] ---
supporting the Bakufu
now that our uncle is gone.
[13:22] Shin
Oh, that's great!
[13:24] Kagura
We were worried that Sho-chan
quit because of us.
[13:29] Oki
Those fools are probably thrilled,
[13:32] Oki
but it's obvious that the
Tendoshu were behind this act.
[13:37] Oki
Which means that the Tendoshu see
the Hitotsubashi as their enemy.
[13:42] Oki
Shigeshige has only been set
up as an interim ruler.
[13:47] Tsu
Does the Hitotsubashi faction
intend to fight the Tendoshu
[13:51] ---
to take control of the government?
[13:54] Oki
Well, I don't know if they're
trying to take control,
[13:57] Gin
That's mine.
[13:58] Oki
or if they want to get rid of the
[14:01] ---
Bakufu and throw the world into chaos.
[14:04] Oki
Either way, there's a lot
of action in the shadows.
[14:08] Gin
Wait. If the Bakufu's a mess
right now, that old man is...
[14:13] Oki
He managed to survive.
[14:15] Oki
But he probably can't
step outside the palace,
[14:19] ---
much less visit Yoshiwara.
[14:22] Oki
His health is certainly a concern,
[14:25] Oki
but the palace is on lockdown,
[14:27] ---
and there are even guards
watching the shogun.
[14:29] Oki
No one is allowed to enter or leave.
[14:33] Nobu
Your Highness, it is
time for you to return.
[14:36] Soyo
Nobume-san...
[14:40] Nobu
That look won't help.
[14:43] Oki
Well, I figured this would happen.
[14:47] Oki
Seriously, what were we fighting for?
[14:59] Hino
The doctor said that she won't
make it through the night.
[15:02] Hino
This may be the last moon
Lady Suzuran ever waits for.
[15:10] Hino
Don't be sad.
[15:11] Hino
Suzuran-san and the rest of
you all tried your best.
[15:16] Hino
Did you think that I didn't
know you were sneaking around?
[15:22] Hino
Honestly, that was quite
a mess you caused.
[15:25] Hino
I was quite worried since you've
started to act like Gin-san.
[15:30] Hino
That's why I tried to
keep my mouth shut,
[15:33] ---
but I guess it didn't matter in the end.
[15:36] Tsu
Hinowa, did you know who
Suzuran was waiting for?
[15:40] Hino
Hard to say. But considering
how long she's waited,
[15:46] Hino
he must have been a wonderful man.
[15:49] Hino
That much I do know.
[15:53] Hino
Isn't that right, Suzuran-san?
[15:55] Suzu
Hinowa-chan, could you
help me with my makeup?
[16:02] Suzu
It's time to fulfill our promise.
[16:13] Sasa
Where are you going at this late hour?
[16:17] Sasa
You're running off to amuse yourself
in Yoshiwara with that body?
[16:20] Sasa
You'll die.
[16:21] Sasa
I can't afford any further commotion.
[16:25] Sasa
Please restrain yourself
and return to your room.
[16:28] Mai
I understand that I'm
disobeying orders.
[16:31] Mai
If you intend to cut me down, go ahead.
[16:34] Mai
I no longer have any arms
for your blade to take.
[16:37] Mai
You can help yourself
to my legs or head.
[16:41] Mai
However, those young people helped
revive the promise we once made.
[16:47] Mai
The thread tied to my soul
[16:51] Mai
cannot be severed by any blade.
[16:56] Sasa
Normally, I would forgive an elderly
man's desire to fool around,
[17:00] ---
but the circumstances will not allow it.
[17:02] Sasa
I cannot allow anything to
happen that could potentially
[17:06] ---
aggravate the tense political situation.
[17:10] Sasa
I will warn you one more time.
[17:12] Sasa
Please return to your room.
[17:15] Hino
Okay, all done.
[17:18] Hino
You look beautiful, Suzuran-san.
[17:20] Hino
Every girl wants to look pretty
for the man she loves.
[17:24] Hino
Now, Tsukuyo.
[17:26] Hino
Bring the kimono.
[17:28] Hino
What are you doing?
[17:29] Hino
Tsukuyo?
[17:31] Suzu
Tsukuyo-chan, did you make that
promise with your special man?
[17:38] Tsu
No...
[17:39] Suzu
Was it an important promise?
[17:42] Gin
We'll bring the old man
back to Suzuran together.
[17:47] Suzu
Then you should believe in it.
[17:52] Suzu
A good man will always
keep his promise.
[17:59] Suzu
Isn't that right?
[18:03] Tsu
Yeah...
[18:05] Tsu
You're right.
[18:07] Sasa
What?
[18:08] Sasa
How did you get in here?
[18:11] Gin
If you wanna play Kick the
Can, follow the finger!
[18:17] All
Me!
[18:20] Sasa
Wh—
[18:21] Sasa
What are you people doing?
[18:23] Sasa
Why is the shogun here?
[18:25] Oki
This is too many people to
use rock-paper-scissors,
[18:27] ---
so Hijikata can be It.
[18:29] Hiji
Screw that!
[18:29] Hiji
Look at all these people!
[18:30] Hiji
That would be torture!
[18:32] Shige
Enough.
[18:33] Shige
I've seen enough internal strife.
[18:36] Shige
As shogun, I will choose
someone to be It.
[18:40] Shige
Grampy, if you will?
[18:43] Sasa
Please stop this.
[18:45] Sasa
You've allowed outsiders inside,
[18:47] ---
and now you're abandoning
your responsibility?
[18:55] Nobu
Go grab the can.
[18:58] Nobu
It probably flew all
the way to Yoshiwara.
[19:02] Gin
Okay, everybody hide.
[19:10] Suzu
I loathe the moon.
[19:13] Suzu
With nightfall, it brings you to me,
[19:17] Suzu
but it also takes you from
me when dawn breaks.
[19:21] Suzu
I wish the moon would never leave us.
[19:24] Suzu
Then you would always be here with me.
[19:29] A
The moon will come with the night again.
[19:33] A
And someday, when it does,
I will take you with me in the morning.
[19:41] A
Wait before the cherry blossom tree
[19:43] ---
on the night of the next full moon.
[19:46] Suzu
Do you promise?
[19:49] A
I promise.
[19:52] Both
Promise.
[20:12] Suzu
You
[20:16] ---
finally came.
[20:23] Suzu
The final moon brought you to me.
[20:30] Suzu
But I must apologize.
[20:33] Suzu
Both the cherry blossoms and I have
withered during the long wait.
[20:43] Mai
What are you talking about?
[20:48] Mai
Nothing has changed.
[20:52] Mai
The cherry blossoms are every bit
as beautiful as they once were.
[21:06] Suzu
Maizo-sama...
[21:09] Suzu
Am I dreaming?
[21:12] Suzu
Will you be gone when the moon leaves
and I wake up in the morning?
[21:18] Mai
No, the moon tonight will never set.
[21:29] Mai
You will never awaken from this dream.
[21:35] Mai
We will always,
[21:38] Mai
always,
[21:41] Mai
be together.
[21:54] Mai
I promise.
[21:58] Mai
I promise.
[23:51] Gin
We have an announcement to make
on the progress of the movie!
[23:54] Gin
If the next image shows five or
[23:57] ---
six storyboard booklets,
we're well on our way.
[24:00] Gin
Take it away!
[24:02] Gin
Huh?
SIGN Huh...
SIGN What...
SIGN Er?
SIGN That's odd?
E261.C - Gintama Classic - People Are All Escapees of Their Own Inner Prisons.
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Kag
-
SIGN -
SIGN -
SIGN -
[01:31] OFFICIAL
There's Prison Island.
[01:33] OFFICIAL
Throughout the ages,
it's been the one prison
[01:36] ---
where the worst offenders are sent.
[01:40] OFFICIAL
It's a steel fortress that encompasses
the entire island.
[01:44] OFFICIAL
Once you enter, you will never
see sunlight again.
[01:48] OFFICIAL
It's a real netherworld in
the land of the living.
[01:51] OFFICIAL
Starting today, that's your home.
[01:53] OFFICIAL
So you'd better bid a fond
farewell to the sun.
[01:58] KATSURA
Don't worry.
[01:59] KATSURA
I've already finished saying
farewell to everyone
[02:02] ---
from Yaoyorozu to Amaterasu.
[02:07] SUEKICHI (M)
It's said the world is very large,
[02:09] SUEKICHI (M)
but my world has been this
small cell for a long time.
[02:14] SUEKICHI (M)
The view behind steel bars
has been my whole world.
[02:19] SUEKICHI (M)
I spend every day in this
[02:21] ---
moldy-smelling cell where
my heart has been corrupted.
[02:24] SUEKICHI (M)
I don't remember how many times
my heart almost broke.
[02:27] SUEKICHI (M)
But finally the time has come for
me to leave those days behind.
[02:37] SUEKICHI (M)
That's right.
[02:38] SUEKICHI (M)
There's a boundless
beautiful world out there
[02:40] ---
that's not meant to be seen through bars.
[02:44] SUEKICHI (M)
To gaze upon that world
is all I've ever wanted.
SIGN ["People Are All Escapees of Their Own Inner Prisons"]
[02:53] SUEKICHI (M)
Finally... Finally I've made it.
[02:56] SUEKICHI (M)
It's taken 15 years to dig
out of here. 15 years...
[02:59] SUEKICHI (M)
I've pounded into my mind
the guards' routines
[03:02] SUEKICHI (M)
and the times when other
prisoners are asleep.
[03:06] SUEKICHI (M)
I took advantage of a little overlap
time to dig through rock and stone,
[03:09] SUEKICHI (M)
little by little, every day. And I kept
at it for 15 years... And finally...
[03:15] ---
It's the day I escape from Prison
Island, the invulnerable fortress.
[03:20] SUEKICHI (M)
Suekichi, you've really
outdone yourself.
[03:22] ---
...It was all your tenacity...
[03:24] SUEKICHI (M)
All I need to do is find the right time
to carry it out... I can't be impatient.
[03:29] SUEKICHI (M)
The best time is early morning
when the prisoners are asleep.
[03:33] SUEKICHI (M)
The best day is when the sea is calm.
[03:35] SUEKICHI (M)
I've already secured an
exit route for escape.
[03:38] SUEKICHI (M)
So I need to carefully pick the
perfect day and carry it out.
[03:42] SUEKICHI (M)
Fortunately, the prison
cell opposite mine,
[03:45] SUEKICHI (M)
which I have to watch the
most, is now vacant.
[03:47] SUEKICHI (M)
If I can escape before a
new prisoner arrives...
[03:50] SUEKICHI (M)
...there won't be any problems.
[03:52] KATSURA
Oh, you're awake. Good morning.
Isn't it a nice day?
[03:57] KATSURA
I just came in today. Prisoner
number "Ha-206," Katsura.
[04:01] KATSURA
It's nice meeting you, cell mate.
[04:03] SUEKICHI (M)
Why?!
[04:05] SUEKICHI (M)
Until yesterday, it
was completely vacant.
[04:07] SUEKICHI (M)
But why today, of all days, did they
have to bring in a newcomer?!
[04:09] KATSURA
Here's something for you.
[04:12] KATSURA
It's an Anti-Foreigner Faction towel.
[04:13] KATSURA
It's very good at wiping away filthy stains.
Especially those from our world.
[04:17] ---
Because it's Joi.
[04:19] SUEKICHI (M)
Th-This is bad...
[04:20] SUEKICHI (M)
My cell is completely visible
to the opposite prison cell.
[04:23] SUEKICHI (M)
I've been able to accomplish
my work thus far because
[04:25] SUEKICHI (M)
there was no prisoner
on the opposite side.
[04:28] SUEKICHI (M)
But now... It can't be...!
[04:30] SUEKICHI (M)
And this guy looks so irritating!
[04:32] KATSURA
Um... This is an Anti-Foreigner
Faction towel.
[04:34] KATSURA
It's very good at wiping
away filthy stains.
[04:36] KATSURA
Especially those from our world.
[04:38] ---
Because it's Joi.
[04:39] SUEKICHI (M)
He thought I didn't hear him so he
repeated the same corny joke!
[04:41] SUEKICHI (M)
I heard it! It's not funny no matter
how many times you say it!
[04:45] SUEKICHI (M)
Calm down.
[04:46] SUEKICHI (M)
All I need is a chance to crawl through
the tunnel and escape from this island.
[04:51] SUEKICHI (M)
Even if this guy is in
the cell opposite mine,
[04:53] ---
there'll be an opening within 24 hours.
[04:56] SUEKICHI (M)
At this point, I can't be picky
about the date and time.
[04:58] SUEKICHI (M)
As soon as I get the chance...
[05:01] SUEKICHI (M)
Luckily, the labor in this
place is like the agony
[05:04] ---
of hell so it wears out all the prisoners.
[05:06] SUEKICHI (M)
Most likely, he'll be exhausted
and fall asleep right after
[05:09] ---
he gets back from his first night.
[05:13] SUEKICHI (M)
I'll take that chance tonight when he's
so tired he'll fall right to sleep.
[05:24] SUEKICHI (M)
Just as I thought...
[05:25] SUEKICHI (M)
I can't see well in the dark,
but his snoring...
[05:27] SUEKICHI (M)
...means it's unlikely he'll wake
up from any sounds.
[05:31] SUEKICHI (M)
I've been spotted?! It can't be!
[05:34] SUEKICHI (M)
But I can feel his gaze on
me. It's boring into me!
[05:36] SUEKICHI (M)
No way!
[05:37] ---
Don't tell me!
[05:40] SUEKICHI (M)
What kind of sleeping face is that?!
[05:43] SUEKICHI (M)
This is bad! I've heard about people
who sleep with their eyes half open.
[05:46] SUEKICHI (M)
But his eyes are wide open!
[05:47] SUEKICHI (M)
His eyeballs must've dried up! He's
definitely looking right at me!
[05:49] SUEKICHI (M)
His dried-up eyeballs are
looking right at me!
[05:52] SUEKICHI (M)
What a strange sleeping face!
[05:54] SUEKICHI (M)
That was a shock. It should
be all right, right?
[05:57] SUEKICHI (M)
He's not really awake, is he?
He's snoring, anyway...
[06:02] SUEKICHI (M)
Huh? But what if he's not asleep?
[06:05] SUEKICHI (M)
This should be all right, right? No,
he's awake, isn't he? He is, right?
[06:08] SUEKICHI (M)
Something like this is not good.
[06:09] ---
I should check.
[06:12] SUEKICHI
Ka-Katsura-san.
[06:17] SUEKICHI (M)
No need to worry. He's sleeping,
just as I thought.
[06:19] ---
All right!
[06:20] SUEKICHI (M)
I can go now...
[06:21] SUEKICHI (M)
So he is awake!
[06:23] SUEKICHI (M)
Why is he sleeping in a runner's
crouch?
[06:25] SUEKICHI (M)
He's not sleeping, is he?! He's
in a runner's crouch!
[06:28] SUEKICHI (M)
He looks like he's about
to run somewhere!
[06:30] SUEKICHI (M)
What should I do? Things are
getting more complicated now.
[06:34] SUEKICHI (M)
He's snoring, but...
no...wait...no...but...
[06:39] KATSURA
What's the matter, Suekichi-dono.
You didn't sleep well last night?
[06:42] KATSURA
That's not good. You won't be able
to handle the hard work here.
[06:47] SUEKICHI (M)
Whose fault do you think it was?!
[06:49] SUEKICHI (M)
I was completely tricked by him.
[06:50] SUEKICHI (M)
I thought there was no way in the world
a guy could be this bad a sleeper.
[06:54] SUEKICHI (M)
If I keep up this lifestyle,
I'll lose all my strength.
[06:57] SUEKICHI (M)
I have to solve this
as soon as possible.
[06:59] SUEKICHI (M)
I should preempt him.
[07:01] GUARD
Lights out!
[07:04] SUEKICHI (M)
I don't need to make him fall asleep.
[07:06] SUEKICHI (M)
I just need to create a chance
for me to escape.
[07:09] SUEKICHI
Well, I've had problems
falling asleep lately.
[07:12] SUEKICHI
Do you have any tricks that
would help me fall asleep?
[07:15] KATSURA
Let's play UNO. I'm pretty good.
[07:17] SUEKICHI
No, I'd better get some
sleep for tomorrow.
[07:19] KATSURA
I see, but I'm really good at it.
[07:20] SUEKICHI
No, thanks, but do you know
anything a bit more basic?
[07:23] SUEKICHI
I know! Why don't we count
sheep, Katsura-san?
[07:25] SUEKICHI
They say counting sheep with your
eyes closed helps you fall asleep.
[07:28] KATSURA
Is that so? I think UNO would
be better. I'm pretty good.
[07:32] SUEKICHI
Yeah, but it'll just keep me awake.
[07:35] KATSURA
Then let's close our eyes and
start counting sheep together.
[07:38] KATSURA
How about that? Here
we go... One sheep.
[07:41] KATSURA
Two sheep... Three sheep...
[07:43] SUEKICHI (M)
Yes!
[07:44] SUEKICHI (M)
He won't open his eyes
until tomorrow morning.
[07:47] SUEKICHI (M)
And if it works out, he'll fall asleep.
[07:51] SUEKICHI (M)
But I shouldn't start moving yet.
[07:53] SUEKICHI (M)
I'll see how it goes after
he's counted 20 sheep.
[07:56] KATSURA
11 sheep...12 sheep...
[08:00] ---
13 sh...?
[08:06] GIRL A
What is Matsuko doing?
[08:08] GIRL B
Hurry up and jump! You're
holding up the line.
[08:10] KATSURA
What happened, Matsubara?
Did you twist your ankle?
[08:16] MATSUKO
A ladybug...was here.
[08:18] KATSURA
Geez... You're really...
[08:21] KATSURA
Matsuko Matsubara. She was
always smiling like that.
[08:26] KATSURA
She could jump higher than anyone
[08:29] ---
and she was always smiling like that.
[08:32] KATSURA
That's all.
[08:33] KATSURA
These five people will make up the
starting lineup for the tournament.
[08:36] KATSURA
This will be the last tournament
for you guys as third-graders.
[08:38] KATSURA
Do your best!
[08:39] ALL
All right!
[08:41] GIRL C
I heard Matsubara Senpai was benched
even though it's her last tournament.
[08:45] GIRL D
She hasn't even been showing
up to practice lately.
[08:48] GIRL D
She's not even here today.
[08:49] GIRL E
There's a rumor that
she has a boyfriend.
[08:51] GIRL E
He's Fujimura Senpai, a third-grader.
[08:53] GIRL F
I think he just hangs around her.
[08:55] GIRL G
But it works well for Sugiyama Senpai.
[08:57] GIRL G
There's no way she could
beat Matsubara Senpai.
[08:59] GIRL C
Hey, you're talking too loud!
[09:02] SUGIYAMA
Sensei.
[09:04] SUGIYAMA
Do you have a minute to talk?
SIGN [GYM STORAGE]
[09:08] SUGIYAMA
What's this all about?
[09:10] SUGIYAMA
Why isn't Matsuko in
the starting lineup?
[09:12] SUGIYAMA
She's our ace, isn't she?
[09:14] SUGIYAMA
I'm not happy about wearing the uniform
[09:16] ---
of a starting player just
because Matsuko didn't show up.
[09:19] SUGIYAMA
I'm returning this to you.
[09:21] KATSURA
...She quit the club.
[09:26] KATSURA
You're the only one who can take
Matsuko's position in this club.
[09:30] KATSURA
I'm sure you know that, because
you and her have been
[09:32] KATSURA
competing against each other
as rivals for three years.
[09:36] SUGIYAMA
...I wanted to get to this
position by beating her.
[09:39] SUGIYAMA
Because she's my best friend, I wanted
to win the position by beating her.
[09:52] KATSURA (M)
...Sugiyama.
[09:53] KATSURA (M)
I'm sorry...
[10:03] FUJIMURA
How could you?
[10:05] SUGIYAMA
I won't lose to you!
[10:07] SUGIYAMA
I'll definitely score more points than
you and outperform you...
[10:10] SUGIYAMA
...and I'll win the tournament!
[10:18] KATSURA (M)
Sugiyama...
[10:21] KATSURA (M)
She...
[10:25] KATSURA (M)
She...
[10:27] KATSURA (M)
...found out about your health.
[10:31] KATSURA (M)
More than anyone or anything...
[10:36] KATSURA (M)
...she wanted to jump higher.
[10:40] KATSURA
Hey, isn't Sugiyama here yet?
[10:42] KATSURA
It's thirty minutes to tip-off.
What is she doing?!
[10:45] GIAL A
Sensei! Sugiyama Senpai's
mother just called!
[10:50] GIRL A
When Senpai was on her way...
[10:52] GIRL A
...she fell and was
taken to the hospital.
[10:58] SUGIYAMA
...Idiot.
[10:59] SUGIYAMA
You weren't supposed to come, right?
[11:05] MATSUKO
...No, I needed to come...
[11:08] MATSUKO
...to pick up...my team uniform.
[11:14] SUGIYAMA
Here you go.
[11:18] SUGIYAMA
I'm so proud that you're my rival.
[11:24] SUGIYAMA
Matsuko...
[11:26] SUGIYAMA
I regret that I chose the
same position as you.
[11:32] SUGIYAMA
Actually...it doesn't really
matter if we're rivals.
[11:38] SUGIYAMA
I just... I just wanted to...
[11:44] SUGIYAMA
...play on the same court with you.
[11:48] KATSURA
That summer...
[11:50] KATSURA
...after knowing real kindness...
[11:53] KATSURA
She jumped higher...
[11:59] KATSURA
...than anyone or anybody ever...
[12:02] KATSURA
Sh...Sh...
[12:03] KATSURA
13 sheep!
[12:10] SUEKICHI
That was too long!
[12:13] KATSURA
What's wrong, Suekichi-dono?
[12:15] KATSURA
You didn't get any sleep
last night, either?
[12:17] KATSURA
That's not good. You've been
looking like that for a while.
[12:21] SUEKICHI (M)
...Damn it.
[12:23] SUEKICHI (M)
All I need to do is just go through
the tunnel and escape this island.
[12:26] SUEKICHI (M)
Then I'll finally taste freedom.
[12:27] SUEKICHI (M)
Why is it so difficult to do
something so simple?
[12:30] SUEKICHI (M)
He's the biggest curse of all.
[12:33] SUEKICHI (M)
At first, he didn't seem to have any
flaws, but he's actually full of them.
[12:35] SUEKICHI (M)
Once he was provoked,
he revealed his fangs.
[12:37] SUEKICHI (M)
But he still has flaws, in fact, It's
like he's the Hell of Infinity.
[12:42] SUEKICHI (M)
As long as this guy is in the cell opposite
me, it's impossible for me to escape.
[12:45] SUEKICHI (M)
I should give up any hopes
of exploiting his flaws.
[12:50] SUEKICHI (M)
I should kill him.
[12:51] ---
I won't be able to
get my freedom unless I kill him.
[12:54] SUEKICHI (M)
But how...?
[12:55] SHACHI
Hey, are you the newcomer?
[12:59] SHACHI
Now we have a pretty boy.
[13:03] SHACHI
Hey, young master, what did
you do to get thrown in here?
[13:07] SUEKICHI (M)
That's...Shachi!
[13:09] SUEKICHI (M)
Robbery, murder, kidnapping...
[13:11] SUEKICHI (M)
He's the king of crime,
the boss of all criminals
[13:13] ---
who's committed multiple
crimes...the killer, Shachi!
[13:17] SHACHI
Hey, what's with that look?
[13:19] SHACHI
What are looking at, huh? Huh?
Are you picking a fight with me?
[13:22] SUEKICHI (M)
Hey, stop it! Don't get in
any trouble with him!
[13:24] KATSURA
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I offend you?
[13:28] KATSURA
I'm sorry. I had something
I was concerned about.
[13:30] SUEKICHI (M)
That's right! Be quiet and
don't go aggravating him.
[13:33] KATSURA
Well...
[13:35] KATSURA
...your kimono is torn.
[13:39] SUEKICHI (M)
Fashion!
[13:40] SUEKICHI (M)
That's just the fashion!
[13:42] SUEKICHI (M)
It's a fashion statement that
makes him look wild!
[13:44] KATSURA
And there're scribbles
on your face, too.
[13:46] KATSURA
It looks like someone played a joke
on you while you were asleep.
[13:49] MAN B
Are you making fun of him?! It's
supposed to be like this, dude!
[13:52] KATSURA
Huh? You did this on purpose?
You purposely cut it so raggedly?
[13:58] SUEKICHI (M)
Stop it! Don't mention it!
Don't talk about that!
[14:03] SHACHI
...Not really...
[14:04] ---
Somehow...the sleeves bothered me,
[14:07] ---
so I just cut them off,
and it came out like this.
[14:10] SUEKICHI (M)
Shachi! Now he's getting
all shy! He's losing face!
[14:15] GUARD
Hey, what are you doing?!
Be quiet and eat!
[14:17] MAN B
Tsk. You guys, we'll remember this.
[14:20] SUEKICHI (M)
You guys?! What's with "guys"?!
They'll all keep an eye on me, too?!
[14:24] SUEKICHI (M)
This is the worst.
[14:25] ---
In order to keep my escape
plan a secret, I've kept quiet until now!
[14:29] SUEKICHI (M)
This was going to be over soon!
[14:31] ---
But if people like them
keep an eye on me...
[14:35] SUEKICHI (M)
But wait! I should turn this predicament
into an advantage!
[14:38] SUEKICHI (M)
I'll plot to offer Katsura to Shachi.
[14:41] SUEKICHI (M)
That way, Shachi will owe me
and Katsura will be dead!
[14:45] SUEKICHI (M)
Two birds with one stone!
[14:48] SUEKICHI (M)
First of all, I need to get close
to Shachi's gang members.
[14:50] SUEKICHI (M)
Oh! They look pretty hostile towards me.
[14:53] SUEKICHI (M)
...Oh, well. I have to show them
that I'm their comrade.
[14:57] MAN A
What?! You want to meet Shachi?
[15:00] SUEKICHI
Yeah. I want him to know that I have
no hostilities toward any of you.
[15:04] SUEKICHI
That crazy man isn't my friend at all.
[15:08] MAN B
That reminds me, you didn't
bother us that time.
[15:11] MAN A
Shachi-san, Suekichi wants to see you.
[15:14] SUEKICHI (M)
Well, this is perfect.
[15:15] SUEKICHI (M)
Just as I thought, this ragged
sleeve style is really effective!
[15:18] SHACHI
What is it? What do you want?
[15:20] SHACHI
Leave me alone. Just leave
me alone, already.
[15:23] SUEKICHI (M)
Shachi?! He's cutting off the
ragged part of his sleeves!
SIGN He's been like that ever since.
SIGN He's cutting off all the ragged parts from his kimono.
[15:32] MAN A
Stop it, Shachi! It's so cool!
[15:34] MAN A
Stop worrying about it! Those
ragged parts are really cool!
[15:37] SHACHI
I really don't care if
it's cool or uncool!
[15:41] SHACHI
That's not the reason
I wore it like that.
[15:45] SHACHI
I'll never wear ragged sleeves again!
[15:48] SUEKICHI (M)
You're so annoying! Shachi, you really are!
How sensitive are you?
[15:52] SHACHI
Let me tell you something...my ragged
bangs and my sleeves are not related.
[15:55] SHACHI
Don't get me wrong! Ah, I'm going
to cut this, too! I'll do it!
[15:58] MAN B
Stop, Shachi! Not the ragged hair!
[16:02] SHACHI
Hey, what are you wearing?!
[16:05] SUEKICHI (M)
Damn it! In this situation, my outfit makes
it look like I'm making fun of him!
[16:08] SHACHI
I found another one here!
Another ragged one!
[16:17] KATSURA
Are you hurt, Suekichi-dono?
[16:19] SUEKICHI
Huh? Um...
[16:20] KATSURA
You bastards!
[16:21] ---
You made Suekichi-dono's sleeves ragged.
Shame on you!
[16:24] MAN A
No, his sleeves were already like that!
[16:26] MAN B
We didn't do that!
[16:27] KATSURA
Shut up! What are all these
triangular pieces?!
[16:30] KATSURA
They're enough evidence!
[16:31] MAN A
No! That's from Shachi's...!
[16:33] KATSURA
Shut up!
[16:40] KATSURA
What's wrong, Suekichi-dono?
[16:41] KATSURA
You couldn't sleep last night again?
[16:43] SHACHI
Katsura-san!
[16:44] SHACHI
It's because we were playing UNO all night
until early this morning in your cell.
[16:46] SHACHI
So he couldn't sleep with all the noise.
[16:48] MAN B
We're sorry, Suekichi-san.
We were so excited playing UNO.
[16:51] SHACHI
Because Katsura-san is so
good at playing UNO.
[16:54] KATSURA
No, Shachi, you're too weak.
[16:56] MAN A
That's right, Shachi.
You're way too weak!
[16:59] SUEKICHI (M)
Why?! Why did it turn out like this?!
[17:02] SUEKICHI (M)
Instead of being led to his death, Katsura
has extending his influence!
[17:06] KATSURA
All right, everyone, it's about
time we went to work.
[17:09] ALL
Yes!
[17:10] SUEKICHI (M)
He's acting like the head prisoner!
[17:12] GUARD
Take care, Katsura-dono.
[17:14] KATSURA
Yeah.
[17:15] SUEKICHI (M)
How did he manage to
influence the guard?!
[17:17] SUEKICHI (M)
Who is he, anyway?!
[17:19] SUEKICHI (M)
In just a few days, he's gained
control of this hellish prison.
[17:23] SUEKICHI (M)
It could be that I've challenged
an extraordinary man.
[17:28] SUEKICHI (M)
Even if I realize the huge size
of the wall in front of me,
[17:31] SUEKICHI (M)
somehow I don't despair.
[17:34] SUEKICHI (M)
This Prison Island was called Hell,
[17:36] SUEKICHI (M)
but it has been gradually
changed by that man.
[17:39] SUEKICHI (M)
Backbreaking work has changed
into something worthwhile,
[17:42] SUEKICHI (M)
even if it's still really hard.
[17:44] SUEKICHI (M)
And criminals' eyes aren't
so empty and lifeless.
[17:46] ---
They've started repenting
for their crimes,
[17:50] SUEKICHI (M)
making up for their past sins
and correcting their ways
[17:52] SUEKICHI (M)
Their eyes have started looking
towards the future.
[17:58] SUEKICHI (M)
Through interaction
with the prisoners...
[18:01] SUEKICHI (M)
...the guards have started
realizing the joy of forgiveness
[18:03] SUEKICHI (M)
and the value of rehabilitating people
instead of just abandoning them.
[18:08] SUEKICHI (M)
And for 15 years...
[18:11] SUEKICHI (M)
The man who avoided facing
up to his crimes,
[18:13] ---
who only thought about
escaping his hardships...
[18:15] SUEKICHI (M)
...and digging a tunnel...
[18:21] SUEKICHI (M)
...finally closed it off.
[18:25] PRISONER A
Man, I worked pretty hard today, too.
[18:28] ---
I've been sleeping well lately!
[18:30] PRISONER B
By the way, even that disgusting
prison food...
[18:32] PRISONER B
...is starting to taste good.
[18:36] KATSURA
Human beings are creatures
that eat, work and sleep.
[18:39] KATSURA
If any one of these is satisfied,
[18:41] ---
the other two will eventually
become satisfied as well.
[18:44] KATSURA
And only when these three
have been satisfied
[18:46] ---
do people truly realize that they're alive.
[18:50] SHACHI
Katsura-san, I've been looking forward
[18:53] ---
to the next day so much lately.
[18:56] SHACHI
We're treated like earthworms,
[18:58] SHACHI
but I feel like we are remembering
[18:59] ---
what it means to be human, day-by-day.
[19:02] SHACHI
For the first time, I
feel like I'm alive.
[19:05] SHACHI
The one who taught us this was...
[19:08] SHACHI
...you, Katsura-san.
[19:11] SHACHI
Thank you...for helping us
become...humans again.
[19:17] KATSURA
Hey, why are you crying at lights-off?
[19:20] ---
The guard is coming.
[19:22] GUARD
Sorry...
[19:30] KATSURA
Well, let's get some sleep for tomorrow.
[19:32] KATSURA
Eating, working and sleeping.
That's what humans do.
[19:35] PRISONER C
Good night, Katsura-san.
[19:37] PRISONERS
Good night!
[19:40] KATSURA
What's the matter, Suekichi-dono?
You still can't sleep?
[19:43] SUEKICHI
You said you were a revolutionist,
but what brought you here?
[19:48] SUEKICHI
I'm just curious about what kind
of crime you committed.
[19:53] KATSURA
I didn't commit any crimes.
[19:56] ---
I came here of my own free will.
[19:58] SUEKICHI
What fotr?
[20:00] KATSURA
I'm a revolutionist of course.
[20:05] KATSURA
So, I came to revolutionize Hell.
[20:11] SUEKICHI
That's amazing!
You make such a bold statement!
[20:14] KATSURA
Suekichi-dono, did I change
anything here?
[20:18] SUEKICHI
...Well...I don't know, but...
[20:21] SUEKICHI
...at least I've changed.
[20:24] SUEKICHI
My sleeping problem is gone.
[20:28] SUEKICHI (M)
I've decided to dig a new tunnel.
[20:32] SUEKICHI (M)
It's a long tunnel and I don't
know when it'll open.
[20:35] ---
That's right. It'll lead to tomorrow.
[20:39] SUEKICHI (M)
I don't need any escape routes anymore.
[20:41] SUEKICHI (M)
I'll fight for the sake of tomorrow.
[20:43] SUEKICHI (M)
With that guy... With that man...
I'll be able to reach it.
[20:54] KATSURA (M)
He's finally asleep.
He gave me a hard time.
[20:58] KATSURA
Thanks for waiting.
[21:05] KATSURA (M)
He was a tough guy who
didn't have any flaws.
[21:07] KATSURA (M)
Although I already had an escape route,
[21:08] KATSURA (M)
I never imagined I'd have a man
[21:10] ---
with sleeping problems in
the cell opposite mine.
[21:13] KATSURA (M)
But I can easily handle it.
[21:16] KATSURA (M)
It looked like he was
completely tricked
[21:17] ---
by me and seems to have
let his guard down.
[21:20] KATSURA (M)
It's too bad I won't be able to see his
[21:22] KATSURA (M)
shocked face when he finds
out that I disappeared,
[21:24] KATSURA (M)
but it can't be helped.
[21:25] ---
Goodbye! You guys will stay
chained here forever!
[21:33] KATSURA (M)
I've been spotted?! No way!
[21:34] ---
No, he's looking at me!
Someone is watching me!
[21:39] SHACHI (M)
All right! Looks like
he's finally asleep!
[21:42] ---
He gave me a hard time.
[21:44] SHACHI (M)
He was a tough guy who didn't
have any weaknesses.
[21:46] SHACHI (M)
Although I already had an escape route,
[21:49] SHACHI (M)
I had some trouble getting
him to let his guard down.
[21:53] SHACHI (M)
I've been spotted?! No way!
[21:55] SHACHI (M)
No, he's looking at me!
Someone is watching me!
[21:58] MAN A (M)
All right!
[21:58] MAN A (M)
It looks like he's finally asleep!
He gave me a hard time...
SIGN All right! He looks like he's finally asleep!
[22:04] PRISONERS (M)
All right!
[22:14] GUARD A
Senpai, there're so many
holes on the island.
[22:18] GUARD B
Huh?
[22:19] GUARD B
Just fill them in. Fill them in.
[22:21] ---
[23:54] Kag
Hey, everyone!
[23:54] Kag
This is the clip that the staff
made around this time last year
[23:59] ---
because they thought Sorachi-san
was almost finished.
SIGN Laugh if you want
SIGN Kill if you want
SIGN Second movie in production!!
E261.C - Gintama Classic - An Observation Journal Should Be Seen Through To The Very End
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Hiroshi
July 20th.
[00:03] Hiroshi
Today, I'll be starting an observation journal
on a space morning glory today.
[00:04] Kag
-
SIGN -
SIGN -
SIGN -
[00:07] Hiroshi
I gave it lots of water so the morning
glory would bloom faster.
[00:11] Hiroshi
How much longer?
[00:13] Hiroshi
When will I get to see
the morning glory?
[00:16] Hiroshi
July 25th.
[00:18] Hiroshi
I woke up to find that the morning
glory had sprouted.
[00:22] Hiroshi
Nice to meet you, Mr. Morning Glory.
[00:24] Hiroshi
I was so happy,
I gave it lots of water.
[00:27] Hiroshi
And then Mom got mad at me.
[00:29] Hiroshi
She said the morning
glory was already full.
[00:33] Hiroshi
August 11th.
[00:35] Hiroshi
A typhoon hit Edo.
[00:38] Hiroshi
I stayed with the morning glory the whole
time so it wouldn't be blown away.
[00:43] Hiroshi
And then Mom got really mad at me.
[00:44] Hiroshi
She said I would catch a cold.
[00:47] Hiroshi
But I was worried so I ignored her,
[00:49] Hiroshi
and then Mom and I got into a fight.
[00:53] Hiroshi
August 12th.
[00:55] Hiroshi
It was still raining.
[00:57] Hiroshi
I was in bed all day with a fever.
[01:00] Hiroshi
I kept trying to go check
on the morning glory,
[01:03] Hiroshi
but Mom wouldn't let me go.
[01:06] Hiroshi
Mom didn't care what happened
to the morning glory.
[01:09] Hiroshi
I'm never gonna talk to Mom again...
[01:12] Hiroshi
August 13th.
[01:14] Hiroshi
I woke up to find that the
morning glory was gone.
[01:18] Hiroshi
The morning glory wouldn't have
died if I had stayed with it.
[01:22] Hiroshi
I'm sorry. I'm sorry...
[01:25] Hiroshi
I was crying, when Mom brought a
fully-bloomed morning glory in a pot.
[01:30] Hiroshi
Mom had moved the morning glory
to a pot during the typhoon for me.
[01:35] Hiroshi
She protected my friend in my place.
[01:40] Hiroshi
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
[01:43] Hiroshi
I still ended up crying.
[01:45] Hiroshi
But it wasn't because I was sad,
it was because I was happy.
[01:50] Hiroshi
August 30th.
[01:52] Hiroshi
I watered the morning glory with Mom.
[01:55] Hiroshi
The morning glory is
still growing strong.
[01:59] Hiroshi
The end.
[02:01] Teach
Okay, thank you, Hiroshi-kun.
[02:03] Teach
It's nice that the morning
glory didn't die.
[02:05] Kid
Great!
[02:05] Teach
And you made up with your mother.
[02:08] Teach
Then next up is...
[02:11] Teach
Daigoro-kun.
[02:12] Dai
Yes.
[02:13] Teach
Daigoro-kun, what did you
research this summer?
[02:17] Dai
Uh...
[02:21] Dai
I also did an observation journal.
[02:24] Teach
I see. What did you observe?
[02:29] Teach
Isn't everybody excited?
[02:31] Teach
Well, Daigoro-kun, go ahead.
[02:35] Dai
Class 3-1, Daigoro Kitaouji.
[02:38] Dai
July 20th.
[02:40] Dai
Today is the first day of my
long-awaited summer vacation.
[02:43] Dai
How shall I have fun tomorrow?
[02:46] Dai
I was so excited that
I couldn't fall asleep
[02:50] Dai
and missed my radio exercises.
[02:52] Teach
Hey, Daigoro-kun!
[02:54] Teach
You skipped radio exercises
on the very first day?
[02:57] Teach
That's no good.
[02:59] Dai
By the time I got to the park,
nobody was there.
[03:03] Dai
But...
[03:04] Madao
S-Sake...
[03:07] Madao
P-Please...
[03:10] Madao
G-Give me sake!
[03:15] Dai
That was where I met Madao.
[03:20] Teach
Uh...
[03:21] Teach
What's a Madao?
[04:55] Dai
July 21st.
[04:57] Dai
I started an observation
journal on Madao today.
[05:01] Teach
Daigoro-kun, hold on.
[05:02] Teach
What's a Madao?
[05:04] Dai
Madao is the master of the park.
[05:06] Dai
A creature with a beard and sunglasses.
[05:09] Dai
It sits in the park all
day without working.
[05:13] Teach
Daigoro-kun, that's just a
middle-aged man, yes?
[05:16] Teach
An unemployed middle-aged
man living in the park, yes?!
[05:18] Dai
I brought him alcohol
from my house yesterday,
[05:21] ---
and he warmed up and
started talking to me.
[05:23] Teach
You shouldn't give stuff like
that to a strange old man!
[05:27] Madao
Kid, where's the sake?
[05:30] Dai
He said that he can't live without sake,
[05:32] Dai
so I gave Madao lots of sake.
[05:36] Dai
How much longer?
[05:38] Dai
When will Madao bloom?
[05:40] Teach
It won't!
[05:41] Teach
As long as you keep giving him sake,
that old man will never bloom!
[05:45] Dai
July 22nd.
[05:47] Dai
Madao still hasn't sprouted.
[05:48] Teach
Sprouted?
[05:50] Teach
You shouldn't say that about
a grown man, Daigoro-kun.
[05:52] Dai
I give it lots of sake but
it won't move or work.
[05:56] Dai
I ask why it won't do anything...
[06:00] Madao
Once a flower's withered,
it can never bloom again.
[06:04] Dai
He answered me with a
sad look on his face.
[06:06] Teach
What is this?! What kind
of project is this?!
[06:08] Teach
How can he say such things to a child?!
[06:10] Dai
July 23rd.
[06:12] Dai
Madao still hasn't sprouted.
[06:14] Dai
I give it lots of sake but it
all comes out of its eyes.
[06:19] Dai
I ask why it spills back out
after I give it to him...
[06:24] Madao
I'm sorry...
[06:25] Madao
I won't waste any more...
[06:27] Madao
I'm sorry...
[06:28] Dai
And then more sake came from its eyes.
[06:32] Dai
Until the sunset.
[06:34] Teach
Say, Daigoro-kun?
[06:36] Teach
This is a little heavy, yeah? Yeah?
[06:38] Teach
What is this? Could you stop?
[06:41] Dai
July 24th.
[06:43] Dai
Madao still hasn't sprouted.
[06:45] Teach
Daigoro-kun, I get it now.
[06:47] Teach
You skipped your independent
research project, didn't you?
[06:49] Dai
Madao looked hurt.
[06:50] Teach
That's it. Madao doesn't even exist.
[06:53] Dai
I ask what's wrong...
[06:56] Dai
And it says that it screwed
up while making a swing.
[07:00] Teach
Daigoro-kun!!
[07:01] Dai
I ask why it's using
a rope to make a swing
[07:04] ---
when the park already has swings.
[07:08] Dai
When will Madao bloom?
[07:10] Teach
Daigoro-kun, I don't like
where this is going!
[07:13] Teach
Are you sure about this?!
[07:15] Dai
July 25th.
[07:17] Dai
Madao still hasn't sprouted.
[07:19] Dai
I was on my way to do
radio exercises when
[07:21] ---
I found Madao lying on the rail tracks.
[07:23] Dai
I ask what's it's doing,
[07:26] Dai
and it says it couldn't fall asleep
so it crawled over here.
[07:29] Teach
Whoa!
[07:30] Teach
Stop it!
[07:31] Dai
When will Madao bloom?
[07:31] Teach
That's enough, Daigoro-kun!
[07:33] Teach
Report over.
[07:34] Teach
An excellent job.
[07:36] Teach
You aren't finished, but that's enough.
[07:39] Kid
Why, Teacher?
[07:40] Kid
I wanna hear more!
[07:41] Kid
Did Madao bloom?
[07:43] Kid
What happened?
[07:43] Teach
It's not about it blooming or not.
[07:45] Kid
More! I wanna hear more!
[07:47] Kid
Finish the story, Daigoro!
[07:50] Kids
Madao! Madao!
[07:55] Teach
Wh-What part of that touched
the hearts of the kids...?
[07:59] Teach
I-I got it now!
[08:01] Teach
Th-Then since it seems like
your report is rather long,
[08:04] ---
we'll go with a summary.
[08:07] Teach
Daigoro-kun, August.
[08:09] Teach
Start from August.
[08:10] Teach
Only read the important points, okay?
[08:12] Teach
Skip the weird parts.
[08:15] Dai
August 1st.
[08:18] Dai
We have a new family member.
[08:20] Teach
You skipped too much!!
[08:21] Teach
How did Madao become a
member of your family?!
[08:23] Teach
What happened in the days
that were skipped?!
[08:25] Dai
A bed was prepared, but Madao
still hasn't sprouted.
[08:30] Dai
Two dry eyes stare into the empty
sky, unable to perceive...
[08:37] Dai
Much as God was unable to understand
[08:39] ---
the will of the fallen angel Lucifer...
[08:41] Teach
And you're suddenly writing like a pro!
[08:44] Dai
I've had enough...
[08:46] Dai
I spit on the ground and
light up a xxxboro.
[08:49] Teach
What happened?!
[08:50] Teach
What happened over summer?!
[08:52] Teach
This isn't a step
towards being an adult!
[08:53] Teach
It's a damn escalator!
[08:56] Dai
Humans must change and adapt to their
environment in order to survive.
[08:59] Teach
Why a condor?!
[09:00] Teach
And you've changed way too much!
[09:00] Dai
The man who refused to change and
stood still was practically a corpse.
[09:02] Teach
You should've been observed instead!
[09:06] Dai
August 3rd.
[09:07] Dai
I casually tossed it a bottle of whiskey
I sniped from my mother.
[09:12] Dai
Madao, I've changed your environment.
[09:15] Dai
It's your turn to respond,
so why do you just lie there?
[09:20] Dai
What damaged you?
[09:22] Teach
Isn't that obvious?!
[09:23] Dai
Madao didn't answer my question,
[09:23] Teach
You can clearly see why he's unhappy!
[09:25] Dai
instead it licked at the whiskey
with a sour look on its face.
[09:25] Teach
This is what you meant by a
new member of the family?!
[09:29] Dai
When will Madao bloom?
[09:32] Dai
I look up at the sky to see a condor
circling as though laughing at me.
[09:37] Teach
And why is there a condor in Edo?!
[09:39] Dai
August 10th.
[09:41] Dai
Ten days have passed since
we took in Madao.
[09:44] Dai
It still hasn't sprouted.
[09:47] Dai
As always, I casually toss it a bottle
of bourbon I swiped from my Mom.
[09:52] Teach
Does it have to say "casually"?
[09:54] Teach
Do you have to emphasize
that "casually" part?
[09:57] Dai
Mom's been getting creeped
out by Madao recently.
[10:02] Dai
It appears that she's realized I'm
keeping Madao and not a dog.
[10:07] Teach
That should have been obvious
from the beginning!
[10:09] Teach
She was creeped out from the beginning!
[10:11] Dai
My Mom raised me on her own.
[10:14] Dai
I wonder when she stopped
trusting in men...?
[10:19] Teach
Who cares about your Mom's story!
[10:21] Teach
Just end this story!
[10:24] Dai
August 10th three years ago.
[10:26] Teach
Hey! I said to stop!
[10:28] Teach
Why is there a flashback
arc in your journal?!
[10:30] Dai
I remember that it was
a blisteringly hot day.
[10:34] Dai
My Mom's husband...
[10:36] Dai
In other words, my old man,
was also a Madao.
[10:40] Dai
My old man was a skilled carpenter,
[10:43] Dai
but after an accident left
his arms paralyzed,
[10:46] Dai
he stopped working and began drinking
and gambling during the day.
[10:51] Dai
My Mom always worked hard,
[10:52] Dai
buy my old man would beat
her for not earning enough.
[10:58] Dai
I couldn't stand the
sight of my old man,
[11:01] Dai
so I never returned home
until the sun set.
[11:05] Dai
I would wait for my exhausted
Mom before heading home.
[11:09] Dai
That was my daily routine.
[11:14] Dai
But we didn't abandon that Madao,
because of memories of long ago...
[11:20] Dai
We believed that he would return to
[11:24] ---
being a kind father, a kind husband.
[11:28] Dai
But that day...
[11:30] Mom
We're home.
[11:32] Dai
Our faint hopes
[11:35] Dai
vanished into the summer sky
with the cries of cicadas.
[11:45] Dai
Raindrops trickled down my cheek.
[11:48] Dai
Before I knew it, I had told the Madao
[11:52] ---
before me about the other Madao.
[11:56] Dai
Sorry, forget about
everything I just said.
[11:59] Madao
Why did you help me...?
[12:02] Madao
Aren't you sick of seeing a Madao?
[12:06] Madao
Both you and your mother.
[12:08] Madao
Aren't you making your mother suffer?
[12:15] Dai
I might be feeling remorse...
[12:18] Dai
If only I had provided
support for my old man
[12:21] ---
when he hit rock bottom...
[12:23] Dai
Then my Mom wouldn't
have suffered like this.
[12:29] Dai
I couldn't say anything more...
[12:32] Dai
At some point, I may have seen
my old man in Madao.
[12:39] Dai
What was I trying to accomplish
while making my Mom suffer?
[12:44] Dai
Was I trying to recover what
I'd once forgotten...?
[12:50] Dai
On that day, Madao didn't
touch its bourbon.
[12:56] Dai
It seems that a typhoon has hit Edo.
[12:59] Dai
My legs led me to the doghouse.
[13:03] Dai
But Madao was nowhere to be found.
[13:07] Madao
Aren't you sick of seeing a Madao?
[13:12] Madao
Both you and your mother.
[13:19] Mom
What are you doing?!
[13:20] Mom
Where are you going in this rain?!
[13:22] Dai
Let me go!
[13:24] Dai
It's already weak from
drinking all that booze!
[13:26] Dai
Madao's going to die in this rain!
[13:31] Mom
So that was a Madao...
[13:36] Dai
No!
[13:37] Dai
It's not a Madao!
[13:39] Dai
It's... It's...
[13:42] Dai
My friend!
[13:45] Mom
Daigoro!
[13:47] Dai
No more of this...
[13:49] Dai
I have to save him!
[13:54] Dai
August 12th.
[13:57] Dai
I couldn't find Madao in the end.
[14:00] Dai
My head hurts and I can't write
as well as I did before.
[14:04] Dai
I seem to have caught a cold.
[14:08] Dai
I didn't drink any sake, but it's coming
out of my eyes for some reason.
[14:15] Dai
Just like it did with Madao.
[14:17] Dai
Is sake coming out of Madao's
eyes wherever he is?
[14:22] Dai
When I thought of that, I couldn't
stop the sake from coming out.
[14:26] Dai
And then...
[14:30] Dai
Ma-Madao...
[14:32] Mom
Honestly...
[14:34] Mom
Next time keep an eye on
it so it won't escape.
[14:37] Mom
And also...
[14:39] Mom
If you're going to keep a Madao,
[14:41] ---
keep it inside so we aren't embarrassed.
[14:44] Mom
And feed it properly instead
of giving it alcohol.
[14:53] Dai
Mom allowed me to keep Madao.
[14:57] Dai
Or maybe Mom felt the same way I did.
[15:07] Dai
Madao, were you drinking again?
[15:11] Madao
No...
[15:13] Madao
No more drinking for me.
[15:17] Dai
August 20th.
[15:20] Dai
Madao has changed since then.
[15:23] Dai
He no longer drinks sake,
[15:25] Dai
and he performs all kinds of
chores while Mom is out.
[15:29] Dai
All while reading the classifieds.
[15:33] Dai
Mom called him Madao in the beginning,
[15:36] Dai
but she's started to call
him Hasegawa-san.
[15:39] Mom
Here, Hasegawa-san.
[15:40] Dai
Madao is Madao, so why?
[15:40] Madao
Ah, sorry about that. Thank you so much.
[15:43] Dai
I don't really get it.
[15:46] Dai
August 25th.
[15:48] Dai
When Madao went out for
errands that evening,
[15:51] Dai
Mom asked...
[15:52] Mom
Daigoro.
[15:54] Mom
Would you like a father?
[15:57] Dai
That was her question.
[15:59] Dai
I didn't understand what she meant,
[16:02] Dai
so I asked her about it
[16:04] Dai
and then her face turned red.
[16:06] Mom
Well, it's nothing...
[16:09] Dai
I didn't understand,
[16:11] Dai
so I asked Madao that night...
[16:14] Madao
I wouldn't know.
[16:16] Dai
I don't really get grownups.
[16:19] Dai
August 26th.
[16:22] Dai
It's finally the day
for Madao to sprout.
[16:25] Madao
Thank you for everything you've done.
[16:28] Madao
Thanks to you two, I've been able
[16:30] ---
to recover from hitting rock bottom.
[16:32] Madao
I don't know how to show
my appreciation...
[16:36] Mom
My, it's a little early for that.
[16:39] Mom
You haven't gone to your interview yet.
[16:41] Mom
There, your tie.
[16:42] Madao
Sorry about that.
[16:44] Mom
Only one person will be
able to pass, right?
[16:48] Mom
Do your best.
[16:51] Mom
We'll be waiting for the good news.
[16:56] Madao
Yes!
[16:57] Dai
As Madao headed off to battle
and Mom watched him go,
[17:02] Dai
they were like father and mother.
[17:05] Dai
Madao as my father...
[17:08] Dai
I tried to picture that, but
it felt weird so I stopped.
[17:15] Dad
You seem to be nervous.
[17:17] Madao
Huh? Oh, yes...
[17:20] Madao
Since my return to a normal person
[17:22] ---
from being a Madao is riding on this.
[17:24] Dad
Oh, is that so?
[17:26] Dad
I'm the same.
[17:28] Madao
Oh? You were also a Madao?
[17:32] Madao
I couldn't tell...
[17:35] Dad
Well, I lost my job after an
injury and snapped...
[17:40] Dad
My wife and son gave up on me...
[17:43] Dad
I'm embarrassed to say
that I didn't realize
[17:46] ---
what was important until I'd lost it all...
[17:49] Dad
I managed to straighten myself up
[17:51] ---
and asked my wife if
we could start over,
[17:55] Dad
but she told me to let
her think about it.
[17:58] Dad
Well, it's okay.
[18:00] Dad
I'll try again if I'm accepted here.
[18:04] Dad
There's only one opening,
[18:06] ---
but let's both do our best
so we have no regrets.
[18:12] Madao
Um... Can I ask you something?
[18:15] Dad
Yes?
[18:17] Madao
What's your son's name?
[18:22] Dai
August 27th.
[18:25] Dai
Madao never came back.
[18:29] Dai
He probably didn't pass the interview.
[18:32] Dai
So he's too ashamed to face us.
[18:35] Dai
Madao's such an idiot.
[18:37] Dai
He doesn't need to be so sensitive.
[18:40] Dai
Mom didn't say anything.
[18:44] Dai
Was Mom hurt again because of me?
[18:49] Dai
August 29th.
[18:54] Dai
We ate with Madao.
[18:57] Dai
The other Madao.
[19:00] Dai
Madao had become a completely
different person.
[19:04] Dai
After apologizing to Mom
and me over and over,
[19:07] Dai
he happily reported
that he'd found a job.
[19:11] Dai
He also cheerfully told
us about someone
[19:15] Dai
who got drunk and made
a ruckus at the interview.
[19:19] Dai
Mom also looked like
she was really happy.
[19:29] Madao
Yo, you two.
[19:33] Madao
Could you spare me some sake?
[19:41] Mom
Daigoro, let's go.
[19:43] Mom
Daigoro?
[19:46] Dai
Why?
[19:47] Dai
You promised never to drink again.
[19:51] Dai
Why?
[19:53] Dai
You promised to do your
best at the interview!
[19:58] Dai
Why...? Why...? Why...?!
[20:04] Madao
Get lost if you have no sake, kid.
[20:08] Madao
We're through.
[20:13] Dai
Liar...
[20:14] Mom
Daigoro, that's enough.
[20:16] Mom
Let's go.
[20:17] Mom
Don't bother with him any longer.
[20:20] Dai
Liar!
[20:22] Dai
Madao! I know!
[20:24] Mom
Daigoro!
[20:24] Dai
You may lie!
[20:26] Dai
You may pretend to be drunk!
[20:29] Dai
Everybody may badmouth you!
[20:31] Dai
I know...
[20:33] Dai
I know that Madao is no Madao!
[20:35] Dai
You brought back what
I'd once forgotten!
[20:39] Dai
You're the nicest, best samurai!
[20:44] Dai
I won't forget!
[20:46] Dai
I'll never forget!
[20:48] Dai
Never!
[20:55] Man
What's with all the noise?
[20:58] Man
Oh? Hasegawa-san.
[20:59] Man
You're back?
[21:03] Man
I'll have a bit.
[21:07] Man
What the hell?!
[21:08] Man
I-Isn't this water?!
[21:10] Madao
I don't need beer or work...
[21:14] Madao
I've already received enough...
[21:24] Madao
Daigoro, be happy with
your Mom and dad.
[21:29] Dai
Yes, I knew.
[21:33] Dai
Madao had already bloomed long ago...
[21:45] Teach
Daigoro-kun...
[21:46] Teach
Forgive me...
[21:48] Teach
That was no observation journal...
[21:50] Teach
It was practically a novel...
[21:53] Teach
But it was wonderful!
[21:54] Teach
Magnificent!
[21:56] Teach
Everybody give Daigoro some applause!
SIGN
[22:02] Teach
Huh?
SIGN
[22:03] Teach
It's still going?
SIGN
SIGN
[22:05] Teach
Oh, there's even a credit roll.
SIGN
[22:07] Teach
Amazing, it's like a movie.
SIGN
[22:09] Teach
Man, that was great.
SIGN
SIGN
[22:10] Teach
Everyone, one more round
of applause for Daigoro!
SIGN
SIGN
[22:16] Teach
Huh?
[22:19] Teach
Your mother wrote this?!
SIGN [Temple School]
SIGN Do your own homework!!
[22:25] ---
SIGN
[23:58] Kag
Hi, everyone.
[23:59] Kag
Since the movie's been pushed
[24:01] ---
back to summer, this is the
only clip we have to show!
SIGN Laugh if you want
SIGN Kill if you want
SIGN Second movie in production!!
E261.C - Gintama Classic - Sleep Helps a Child Grow
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:50] Kagura
I can't sleep.
[01:52] Kagura
I can't sleep at all.
[01:54] Kagura
Can't sleep a wink.
[01:57] Kagura
The harder I try to fall asleep,
[01:59] Kagura
the more awake I feel.
[02:02] Kagura
I don't feel like sleeping at all.
SIGN ["Sleep Helps a Child Grow"]
[02:23] Gintoki
What?
[02:24] Kagura
I can't sleep.
[02:27] Gintoki
Oh, really...
[02:29] Gintoki
Don't stay up too late.
[02:32] Gintoki
We have work tomorrow.
[02:37] Gintoki
What is it?
[02:40] Kagura
I can't sleep.
[02:41] Gintoki
You already said that.
[02:43] Gintoki
If you can't fall asleep,
stay up until you're sleepy.
[02:46] Gintoki
You're so annoying.
[02:48] Gintoki
Let me sleep, okay?
[02:50] Gintoki
I said we have work...
[02:52] Kagura
I can't sleep.
[02:52] Gintoki
Hey! What are you doing?!
[02:54] Kagura
I can't sleep a wink at all.
[02:57] Gintoki
Like I care!
[02:58] Gintoki
Stop bugging me!
[02:59] Kagura
I can't sleep...
[03:04] Kagura
Put me to sleep.
[03:08] Kagura
Use everything in your
power to put me to sleep.
[03:12] Gintoki
Just go to sleep by yourself!
[03:13] Gintoki
Is that how you ask
somebody for a favor?!
[03:16] Gintoki
Man...
[03:16] Gintoki
I can't put up with this.
[03:21] Kagura
That futon looks more
comfortable to sleep on.
[03:24] Kagura
Switch with me.
[03:25] Kagura
I'm gonna sleep there.
[03:27] Kagura
You sleep in the closet.
[03:29] Gintoki
Don't be so picky.
[03:30] Gintoki
All futons are the same!
[03:32] Gintoki
How am I supposed to sleep
in that small space?!
[03:35] Kagura
Just move outta the way.
[03:41] Kagura
Ah, I think I can fall asleep like this.
[03:44] Kagura
This futon might put me to sleep.
[03:46] Gintoki
Never wake up again, stupid brat.
[03:49] Gintoki
Man...
[03:50] Gintoki
What is this...
[03:51] Gintoki
I'd managed to fall asleep.
[03:53] Gintoki
I don't wanna sleep on a cold futon.
[03:59] Kagura
I can't sleep.
[04:00] Gintoki
So nothing changed?!
[04:02] Kagura
This is no use.
[04:04] Kagura
I don't feel sleepy at all.
[04:07] Kagura
I can't fall asleep 'cause the
pillow smells like an old man.
[04:11] Gintoki
You're the one who told
me to switch with you!
[04:13] Kagura
That futon looks more
comfortable to sleep on.
[04:15] Kagura
Switch with me.
[04:16] Gintoki
This will never end!
[04:18] Kagura
I can't fall asleep
[04:20] Kagura
so I've been thinking
of ways to fall asleep.
[04:24] Kagura
And now, I'm no longer sure
how I used to fall asleep.
[04:29] Kagura
I've forgotten how to fall asleep.
[04:31] Kagura
How do I fall asleep?
[04:33] Kagura
How do I make my way into slumberland?
[04:37] Gintoki
Start by shutting up!
[04:38] Gintoki
Then close your eyes and stay still!
[04:40] Gintoki
You'll eventually fall asleep.
[04:42] Kagura
But Gin-chan, when you
stop and think about it,
[04:45] Kagura
what is sleep?
[04:47] Kagura
When we close our eyes, we're
just shutting our eyelids.
[04:51] Kagura
Our eyeballs are still darting around.
[04:54] Kagura
It's completely dark, but that's because
[04:56] ---
we're looking at the inside of our eyelids.
[04:58] Kagura
It doesn't mean we're asleep.
[05:00] Kagura
To prove it, if you close your eyes
during the day, it's completely red.
[05:04] Kagura
What do I do with my eyeballs
if I want to fall asleep?
[05:07] Kagura
Should I just stare at
the inside of my eyelids?
[05:10] Kagura
Or should I look up?
[05:13] Kagura
What do I do to-
[05:14] Gintoki
Cut it out!
[05:16] Gintoki
Now I can't fall asleep!
[05:19] Gintoki
What are you going to do about this?!
[05:20] Gintoki
Now that you got me thinking about
it, I can't fall asleep either!
[05:23] Gintoki
Did I look up? Did I look down?
[05:26] Gintoki
I don't know what to
do with my eyeballs!
[05:28] Kagura
And do we breathe with
our mouths when we sleep?
[05:31] Kagura
Or with our noses?
[05:32] Kagura
Or do we breathe in through our
mouths and out through our noses?
[05:35] Kagura
Or do we breathe in through our
noses and out through our mouths?
[05:37] Gintoki
Cut it out!
[05:38] Kagura
Should I cross my arms?
[05:40] Kagura
Should I leave them at my sides?
[05:41] Kagura
Outside the covers?
[05:43] Kagura
Inside the covers?
[05:44] Kagura
How should the pillow be placed?
[05:46] Kagura
Face-up? Face-down?
[05:47] Gintoki
Cut it out!
[05:48] Kagura
Where do we come from?
Where are we going?
[05:52] Kagura
What's beyond the edge of the universe?
[05:55] Kagura
Why doesn't anime make lots of money?
[05:57] Gintoki
Cut it out!
[05:59] Gintoki
I can't sleep!
[06:00] Gintoki
I don't feel like sleeping at all!
[06:02] Gintoki
Was it this hard to fall asleep?!
[06:05] Gintoki
Did we go through such
an ordeal every night?!
[06:09] Kagura
What is sleep again?
[06:10] Gintoki
Shut up!
[06:12] Gintoki
You'll never fall asleep if you
make everything so complicated!
[06:14] Gintoki
How much of a failure are you?!
[06:16] Gintoki
Even Ken Takakura could do a better job!
[06:19] Kagura
I feel more and more awake.
[06:21] Kagura
What do I do?
[06:22] Kagura
At this rate, I'll never fall
asleep for rest of my life.
[06:25] Gintoki
Give me a break.
[06:27] Gintoki
Didn't I tell you that
we have work tomorrow?
[06:29] Gintoki
It's 2:30 in the morning.
[06:32] Gintoki
We have to wake up at 7:00 tomorrow.
[06:34] Gintoki
We only have four and
a half hours to sleep.
[06:37] Gintoki
That'd even make Napoleon
bitch when he woke up.
[06:39] Gintoki
"My dictionary says I only sleep for
three hours but read between the lines!"
[06:44] Kagura
What should I do?
[06:46] Kagura
Don't fall asleep before me, Gin-chan.
[06:48] Gintoki
For now, stop thinking about that stuff.
[06:51] Gintoki
Don't use your head.
[06:54] Gintoki
Okay?
[06:55] Gintoki
Sleep isn't supposed to be something
you can consciously force.
[07:03] Gintoki
Humans who live regular lives will
naturally fall asleep at night.
[07:08] Gintoki
If you work your sweaty
ass off for a whole day,
[07:11] Gintoki
you'll be so tired you can
comfortably fall asleep.
[07:13] Gintoki
That's how sleep is supposed to work.
[07:17] Kagura
I see...
[07:19] Kagura
I can't fall asleep because I
was lying around the whole day.
[07:24] Gintoki
Right?
[07:25] Gintoki
The problem is with your lifestyle,
not with your sleeping style.
SIGN ["Don't just lay there! Help me clean up the house!"]
[07:29] Kagura
You're one to talk.
[07:32] Gintoki
If you understand, go
run a lap around town.
[07:35] Gintoki
What you lack is fatigue.
[07:38] Kagura
I got it.
[07:39] Kagura
I'm going off for a run.
[07:41] Kagura
Gin-chan, you can't
fall asleep before me.
[07:44] Kagura
You'd better stay up.
[07:51] Kagura
Gin-chan...
[07:54] Kagura
Hey, Gin-chan...
[07:58] Kagura
I can't fall asleep.
[08:01] Kagura
I did the running...
[08:03] Kagura
But now...
[08:05] Kagura
I'm so hot...
[08:07] Kagura
I can't fall asleep.
[08:10] Gintoki
Who told you to run as hard as you can?!
[08:13] Gintoki
Of course you can't fall asleep
when you're all sweaty like that!
[08:16] Kagura
I figured I'd fall asleep
faster if I was more tired,
[08:20] Kagura
so I ran fifty laps around town.
[08:22] Kagura
Sleep is out of the question now.
[08:24] Kagura
It feels like all my
cells have activated.
[08:27] Gintoki
Feels like it?
[08:28] Gintoki
Your brain cells are dying!
[08:31] Gintoki
You can't fall asleep right
after exercising so hard!
[08:34] Gintoki
Go take a bath and cool yourself off!
[08:37] Gintoki
You've gotten my futon all sweaty now!
[08:40] Kagura
No.
[08:41] Kagura
I don't have time for that.
[08:43] Kagura
I have to fall asleep
as soon as possible.
[08:50] Gintoki
You're a busy person, huh?
[08:53] Gintoki
First you want to sleep.
[08:54] Gintoki
Now you're hungry.
[08:55] Gintoki
I envy you!
[08:56] Gintoki
It must be fun to have
so many things to do!
[08:59] Kagura
That isn't my stomach. I'm farting.
[09:01] Gintoki
I don't care what it
is! Can you be quiet?!
[09:04] Gintoki
How long is that going to continue?!
[09:07] Gintoki
It's so noisy I can't fall asleep.
[09:11] Gintoki
Fine.
[09:12] Gintoki
I'll go make you something to eat.
[09:14] Gintoki
You go take a bath during that time.
[09:16] Kagura
Food?!
[09:17] Gintoki
Everybody feels like sleeping
after a meal, right?
[09:20] Gintoki
It's not very healthy, but that's
a sacrifice you'll have to make.
[09:23] Gintoki
At this rate, I won't be
getting any sleep either.
[09:27] Kagura
Gin-chan!
[09:28] Gintoki
Man, you stink!
[09:29] Gintoki
Stay away! Go take a bath!
[09:30] Kagura
Thanks, Gin-chan!
[09:37] Kagura
Gin-chan...
[09:40] Kagura
Hey, Gin-chan...
[09:47] Gintoki
What are you doing?
[09:49] Kagura
I don't feel like sleeping at all.
[09:52] Kagura
I took a bath,
[09:55] Kagura
but I'm having trouble breathing
so I can't fall asleep!
[09:58] Gintoki
Who told you to eat so much that you'd
start breathing with your diaphragm?!
[10:01] Gintoki
Of course you can't fall asleep
when your stomach's that full!
[10:03] Kagura
But...
[10:04] Kagura
You made all that food...
[10:08] Gintoki
The rest of that was for breakfast!
[10:10] Gintoki
Why did you eat my share, stupid brat?!
[10:12] Kagura
It's no use...
[10:14] Kagura
I'm in so much pain I
can't even turn over...
[10:16] Kagura
I'll go run myself into shape...
[10:19] Kagura
By taking a run.
[10:20] Gintoki
Who told you to be witty?!
[10:22] Gintoki
Cut it out!
[10:23] Gintoki
That'll just put us
back where we started!
[10:26] Gintoki
Ah...
[10:27] Gintoki
Fine.
[10:28] Gintoki
You don't have to work tomorrow.
[10:30] Gintoki
Shinpachi and I can handle it.
[10:32] Gintoki
So don't force yourself to sleep.
[10:34] Gintoki
Just let me sleep, okay?
[10:36] Kagura
No!
[10:37] Kagura
Staying up late is bad for my skin!
[10:39] Gintoki
Someone whose stomach
is sticking all the
[10:41] ---
way out shouldn't be talking about skin care!
[10:43] Gintoki
Come on.
[10:44] Gintoki
It's already 4:00.
[10:45] Gintoki
I have to wake up at 7:00 tomorrow.
[10:46] Gintoki
That's in three hours.
[10:48] Gintoki
That'd even make Napoleon bitch
at his mom in the morning!
[10:51] Gintoki
He'd probably whine about the
quality of the miso soup!
[10:53] Gintoki
"The word eggplant is
not in my dictionary."
[10:59] Kagura
Fine.
[11:01] Kagura
I'll stop making a fuss.
[11:02] Kagura
I won't bother you anymore.
[11:05] Kagura
You already fed me.
[11:10] Kagura
But if it's too quiet, I
start thinking about stuff.
[11:14] Kagura
Can I turn on the radio?
[11:17] Gintoki
If you keep the volume down.
[11:23] DJ
Young Night Train!
[11:25] DJ
So let's get started!
[11:28] DJ
This is DJ Junnijiro, who just
had a kidney stone removed,
[11:32] DJ
with stories that make you
cry within three minutes!
[11:40] DJ
Young Night Train!
[11:45] DJ
So let's get started!
[11:47] DJ
This is DJ Junnijiro with stories that
make you cry within three minutes!
[11:51] DJ
Allow me to introduce the first letter.
[11:53] DJ
This letter is from Radio Name Tom.
[11:57] DJ
"Sorry, Jerry."
[12:02] N
I will never forget about
the first friend I ever had.
[12:06] N
It happened during summer ten years ago.
[12:11] N
I was a shy and quiet child
who always played by myself.
[12:17] N
So my father brought me a friend.
[12:20] N
That was Jerry.
[12:27] N
Jerry and I were always together.
[12:30] N
We went everywhere together.
[12:32] N
We did everything together.
[12:35] N
Just like real friends.
[12:40] N
I taught him many tricks.
[12:43] Tom
Wait!
[12:48] N
Jerry's best trick was to wait.
[12:50] N
He would wait as long as I told him,
[12:52] N
even when a feast was placed before him.
[12:58] N
I didn't need any friends besides Jerry.
[13:01] N
That's how I felt at the time.
[13:05] N
But on the other hand,
[13:07] N
an increasing number
of children showed up
[13:09] ---
who were interested in Jerry.
[13:13] N
The next thing I knew, I'd made
lots of friends besides Jerry.
[13:18] Tom
Wait.
[13:24] N
It didn't take very long
for my interest to shift
[13:27] ---
from Jerry to other things.
[13:30] N
Jerry longed to play with
me the way we used to.
[13:35] N
Jerry would bark at me.
[13:37] N
That was when his best
trick would come in handy.
[13:41] N
I would say one word to Jerry.
[13:43] N
"Wait."
[13:44] N
Jerry would always wait
there for my return.
[13:49] N
Without moving an inch.
[13:50] N
He just waited for me to return.
[13:56] N
By chance, my father's
store went out of business,
[13:59] N
and my affluent family fell to ruin.
[14:02] N
Chased by debtors,
[14:05] N
we were forced to escape with
only the clothes on our backs.
[14:09] N
Though I was only a child,
[14:12] N
I was still able to understand what
must be abandoned in that situation.
[14:19] N
Perhaps he realized his own fate.
[14:22] N
Jerry chased after me without pause.
[14:35] Tom
Wait!
[14:37] N
I delivered the usual
word in a cold voice.
[14:45] N
Wait.
[14:48] N
I left Jerry behind without
ever looking back.
[14:57] N
A few months later, I
returned to that spot.
[15:03] N
I had already moved to a faraway city,
[15:06] N
but I couldn't stop
thinking about Jerry.
[15:10] N
Jerry had to be fine.
[15:12] N
Somebody must have taken him in.
[15:15] N
In retrospect, I probably
wanted peace of mind.
[15:20] N
I wanted to see Jerry
alive as soon as I could,
[15:25] N
so I wouldn't have to feel guilty.
[15:32] N
Jerry hadn't become someone
else's pet or a rotting corpse.
[15:37] N
Jerry was waiting as always.
[15:41] N
Without moving a step.
[15:42] N
Waiting for my return.
[15:47] Old man
Sad, isn't it?
[15:49] Old man
He was abandoned there a while back.
[15:53] Old man
Kind people would try
to take him with them,
[15:56] Old man
or feed him or the like.
[15:59] Old man
But this boy refused to budge at all.
[16:05] Old man
In time, people stopped
paying attention to him.
[16:11] Old man
He couldn't have expected
his owner to return.
[16:16] Old man
Either way, it's a sad story.
[16:23] N
I reached out to softly pat his head,
[16:26] N
and his eyelids slowly
parted to look up at me.
[16:31] N
Jerry's tail wagged ever so slightly.
[16:36] N
And then, he never moved again.
[16:42] Old man
Little lady...
[16:44] Old man
I see, you were his owner.
[16:49] Tom
Jerry was waiting for me to come back!
[16:53] Tom
Waiting the whole time...
[16:55] Tom
The whole time...
[16:59] Tom
Jerry!
[17:01] Tom
How can I apologize to you?!
[17:04] Tom
How many times do I need
to apologize to you?!
[17:06] Tom
You gave me so much!
[17:09] Tom
You taught me how to shed my
loneliness when I was all alone!
[17:13] Tom
You opened up the world to me!
[17:16] Tom
You were my first friend!
[17:19] Tom
And yet...
[17:20] Tom
I...
[17:21] Tom
I did...
[17:24] Tom
I did such a terrible thing
to my precious friend!
[17:29] Old man
There's no need to apologize.
[17:31] Old man
He was always waiting for you.
[17:34] Old man
And you came.
[17:36] Old man
What else did he need?
[17:39] Old man
He must have been happy to
meet his owner in the end.
[17:44] Tom
That's not true! He must hate me!
[17:46] Tom
Because I was the one who
caused Jerry's death!
[17:50] Old man
Jerry isn't dead.
[17:52] Old man
He's still alive.
[17:54] Tom
Where?!
[17:55] Tom
Where is he?!
[17:57] Old man
Of course...
[18:01] Old man
Right behind you!
[18:11] Gintoki
What is this?
[18:13] Gintoki
What kind of story is this?
[18:15] Gintoki
Why did a touching story turn
into a scary story at the end?!
[18:17] Gintoki
How would this make people cry?!
[18:19] Gintoki
More like cry out in terror!
[18:22] Gintoki
I can't sleep after hearing
such a crazy story!
[18:26] Gintoki
The station must be getting
barraged by complaints right now!
[18:28] Gintoki
That really caught me off guard.
[18:30] Gintoki
Not that I was scared or anything.
[18:33] Gintoki
Hey, Kagura!
[18:34] Gintoki
No more radio!
[18:35] Gintoki
I can't listen to this...
[18:40] Gintoki
H-Huh? She fell asleep.
[18:46] Gintoki
R-Really...
[18:47] Gintoki
She finally fell asleep?
[18:49] Gintoki
Way to cause so much trouble.
[18:52] Gintoki
That's a relief...
[18:54] Gintoki
Now I can sleep in peace.
[18:57] Gintoki
Then I'll go to sleep, too.
[19:14] Old man
Right behind you!
[19:21] Gintoki
Y-Yeah, right...
[19:24] Gintoki
Y'know...
[19:26] Gintoki
That crazy story isn't
enough to scare me.
[19:29] Gintoki
Though it surprised me a bit.
[19:31] Gintoki
That was just a comedy.
[19:32] Gintoki
There isn't much of a difference
between horror and comedy.
[19:35] Gintoki
This was totally...
[19:36] Old man
Right behind you!
[19:40] Gintoki
C-Crap...
[19:42] Gintoki
I'm starting to hear things 'cause
I didn't get enough sleep.
[19:45] Gintoki
Hey, now I can't fall asleep...?
[20:01] Gintoki
Ah. Sorry if I woke you up, Kagura.
[20:03] Gintoki
Looks like I'm sick.
[20:07] Gintoki
K-Kagura-chan. You're
actually awake, right?
[20:10] Gintoki
You were wide awake just a second ago.
[20:12] Gintoki
This isn't funny, seriously.
[20:21] Gintoki
Kagura-chan?
[20:22] Gintoki
Hey, are you listening?
[20:23] Gintoki
You're awake, right?
[20:25] Gintoki
Awake, right?
[20:31] Gintoki
Wake up!
[20:32] Gintoki
Don't mess with me!
[20:33] Gintoki
How much effort do you think
I spent to put you to sleep?!
[20:37] Gintoki
You just abandon me the
second you're done?!
[20:39] Gintoki
You could at least talk with me a bit!
[20:42] Gintoki
You could at least come with
me when I go to take a piss!
[20:44] Gintoki
Are you going to keep
pretending to sleep?
[20:47] Gintoki
I'll beat you awake...
[20:52] Gintoki
Okay, that's good.
[20:53] Gintoki
Bring it on!
[20:54] Gintoki
Like you're ready to die!
[20:56] Gintoki
If you're gonna hit me, you
had better knock me out!
[20:58] Gintoki
No, really...
[20:59] Gintoki
Please knock me out!
[21:01] Gintoki
Somebody put me to sleep!
[22:37] ---
Okay, gather round.
[22:39] ---
Since the movie has been
delayed until summer,
[22:41] ---
we need to brainstorm and
figure out what to do
[22:44] ---
after the TV series ends in
March until the movie comes out.
[22:47] ---
Okay!
[22:47] ---
Wait! The TV series ends this spring?!
[22:50] ---
Nobody told me that!
[22:51] ---
Too late now.
[22:52] ---
The plan was to have the movie come
out right after the TV series ended.
[22:56] ---
And hell...
[22:58] ---
Before the gorilla author
produced this finished script,
[23:01] ---
he had to go through all
the rewrites over here.
[23:04] ---
Why is there so much paper?
[23:05] ---
Was the gorilla trying
to make a Ben Hur?
[23:08] ---
Uh, kids these days
won't recognize Ben Hur.
[23:10] ---
So how do we buy time?
[23:12] ---
Eh...
[23:13] ---
We could run another special that
covers one of the longer arcs.
[23:17] ---
Any suggestions?
[23:18] ---
Ooh! I think that
[23:20] ---
"Sleep Helps a Child Grow
Arc the New Translation"
[23:23] ---
is best!
[23:23] ---
Hey! Today's episode wasn't a long arc!
[23:26] ---
And what is there to add?
[23:29] ---
Okay, we'll go with that.
[23:30] ---
Uh, that's not gonna happen!
SIGN Next Episode
[23:36] ---
Father, it's been a while.
SIGN Shimura Ken
[23:38] ---
I have something to tell you today.
[23:41] ---
I think it's time to begin.
[23:45] ---
You want to recruit new students?!
[23:47] ---
I found the perfect person to help us.
[23:49] ---
He's a student of the
School of Tendo Mushin
[23:51] ---
and he can use beam sabers.
[23:55] ---
Hajime-nii!
[23:56] ---
You've gotten pretty big,
[23:58] ---
Shin-bo!
SIGN The Sound of a Beam can Pierce Every Heart
SIGN Otae attempts to rebuild the family dojo when a man appears before her.
SIGN He is a former instructor who went missing. What secret does he hide...?
[24:20] ---
E262 - The Sound of a Beam Can Pierce Every Heart
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Shimura Ken
[01:33] Otae
Father, it's been a while.
[01:36] Otae
Father, I have something
to tell you today.
[01:39] Otae
I think it's time to begin.
[01:42] Otae
I will become the character
I was created to be.
[01:46] Otae
It's time to restore the Kodokan
Dojo you left us, Father.
[01:51] Otae
Sorry to make you wait 260 episodes.
[01:54] Otae
It's not that I forgot my character.
[01:56] Otae
And I wasn't tired of the role.
[01:58] Otae
I had to save up money first.
[02:01] Otae
I promise to make the dojo better
than when you were still around.
[02:05] Otae
Please support me.
[02:08] Obi
Oh?
[02:09] Obi
Are you Otae-chan?
SIGN The Sound of a Beam Can Pierce Every Heart
SIGN Kodokan Dojo
[02:18] Shin
What?! You want to
recruit new students?!
[02:21] Shin
S-Sis, I thought you forgot the
original purpose of your character!
[02:25] Shin
Weren't you going to
focus on your night dojo?
[02:28] Otae
Please, do I really look like
such a heartless woman?
[02:32] Otae
Do your best and let
nature take its course.
[02:35] Otae
I went to Tsudaya the other day,
[02:37] ---
and I received a signal
that it was time.
[02:39] Shin
It's because you rewatched volume 2
of the DVDs and remembered!
[02:43] Otae
I acquired a fair amount
of money in episode 200,
[02:45] ---
so I think now is the ideal time.
[02:48] Gin
What are you babbling about?
[02:50] Gin
Nobody's gonna pay money to learn
how to use a sword these days.
[02:54] Gin
The age of using swords has ended.
[02:57] Gin
It's now the age of much
younger wives using Kato-chan.
[03:01] Shin
When did we start talking
about Kato-chan and Ken-chan?!
[03:03] Kag
Kids don't dream about becoming
samurai or ninja anymore.
[03:08] Kag
They want to become
Kato-chan's wife or part of
[03:12] ---
a backup band working up
to becoming an idol.
SIGN My Future Dream: Backup Band
[03:14] Shin
We don't live in an age
of evil conspiracies!
[03:17] Otae
That's why this dojo is needed.
[03:19] Otae
A part of ancient Japanese
culture is fading away.
[03:24] Otae
It's our duty to protect it by passing
this knowledge to the next generation.
[03:29] Gin
But do you even know what
a kendo glove smells like?
[03:33] Gin
Those things should get a new job
as the straw used to wrap natto.
[03:38] Gin
And in anime, the mask makes it
impossible to tell who it is.
[03:41] Gin
And when people thrust,
[03:42] ---
you'd think they were striking to kill.
[03:44] Gin
Isn't it our duty to end that
practice with our generation?
[03:47] Shin
Are you really a swordsman?
[03:49] Otae
It's true that there are aspects
that no longer apply,
[03:52] Otae
so I believe it's important to evolve
and adapt certain practices
[03:56] ---
while maintaining the tradition.
[03:59] Otae
The school of Tendo Mushin
needs a slight renewal.
[04:03] Shin
Renewal?
[04:04] Otae
Yes.
[04:10] Otae
To the school of Tendo
Mushin beam sabers!
SIGN Tendo Mushin Beam Sabers
[04:15] Shin
What happened to tradition?!
[04:17] Kag
But beam sabers will resonate with
kids, and maybe with the Amanto.
[04:23] Shin
Uh, that's not the issue here.
[04:25] Shin
And who's going to teach
them how to use beam sabers?
[04:28] Otae
That's all worked out already.
[04:30] Shin
Huh?
[04:31] Otae
I've found the perfect person.
[04:33] Otae
He knows the School of Tendo Mushin
and he can use beam sabers.
[04:37] Shin
Huh?
[04:39] Otae
You'll be so surprised, Shin-chan.
[04:46] Obi
Hey, long time no see.
[04:50] Obi
You've gotten pretty big, Shin-bo!
[05:02] Shin
Ha—
[05:04] Shin
Hajime-nii!
[05:06] Obi
Whoa!
[05:09] Obi
You've gotten pretty strong, too!
[05:11] Shin
Hajime-nii, you're alive!
[05:13] Shin
That's great! Just great!
[05:17] Gin
Huh? A former instructor?
[05:20] Otae
Yes, this was back when
our dojo was busy.
[05:24] Obi
The name's Obi Hajime!
SIGN Obi Hajime
[05:27] Obi
If that's a pain to say, call me Obi-one!
SIGN Obi Hajime
Obi-one
[05:29] Gin
No, that would be an even bigger pain.
[05:32] Obi
Sounds like you've been
taking care of Otae-chan
[05:34] ---
and Shin-bo while I was gone.
[05:36] Obi
Let me express my gratitude.
[05:38] Obi
Thank you very hamnida!
[05:39] Gin
Thank you? Hamnida? So
which country are you from?
[05:43] Otae
Obi-one-niisama has been wandering
around space for a long time,
[05:46] Otae
so he's picked up some words
from different planets.
[05:50] Obi
Soz for being so hard to understand!
[05:52] Gin
Uh, how do you pick up a
word like "soz" from space?
[05:54] Shin
Gin-san, Hajime-nii is really amazing.
[05:57] Shin
He became an instructor at
our dojo at a young age,
[05:59] Shin
and his skill was known around Edo!
[06:02] Shin
Once his talent was recognized,
[06:04] ---
he was chosen to study abroad
and took off into space.
[06:07] Shin
But the teleportation device at the terminal
[06:09] ---
exploded while he was there,
[06:11] Shin
so we thought he would never return.
[06:16] Obi
When the device blew up,
[06:18] ---
I was miraculously teleported
to a planet way out there.
[06:21] Obi
While there, I figured I might as
well learn how they used swords,
[06:25] Obi
but before I knew it, I was
the strongest one around.
[06:28] Obi
I would then move on to the
next planet, and so on,
[06:33] Obi
until people started calling
me Galaxy Sword Master.
SIGN Galaxy Sword Master
[06:39] Obi
People stopped challenging me.
[06:43] Obi
It got boring, so I came back to Edo.
[06:46] Shin
Wow! Galaxy Sword Master!
[06:49] Shin
You're awesome, Hajime-nii!
[06:51] Obi
Nah, I'm still nothing
compared to your old man.
[06:52] Gin
Hey, what's a Galaxy Sword Master?
[06:55] Kag
His character is dumb
and his title is dumb.
[06:55] Obi
He was one strong samurai.
[06:59] Obi
I never thought the
dojo would shut down.
[07:03] Obi
Shin-bo, Otae-chan...
[07:05] Obi
Soz for not being here to
help when you needed me.
[07:09] Obi
If I can help you with the beam saber
that I mastered out in space,
[07:13] Obi
I'll do whatever you ask!
[07:17] Obi
I'm getting excited!
[07:18] Gin
Watch it!
[07:20] Obi
Let's work together to
revive your old man's dojo!
[07:24] Obi
And we'll make Kodokan the number
one dojo in the universe!
[07:28] Obi
Hip, hip, hooray!
[07:35] Gin
Weren't we reviving it?
[07:40] Otae
Hey, hey! Come on
down! Have a looksee!
SIGN School of Tendo Mushin Beam Saber
[07:43] Otae
We're starting up a new school in Edo!
[07:47] Shin
The School of Tendo Mushin Beam Saber!
[07:50] Otae
We're moving into the age of beams!
[07:53] Shin
You can do anything with beams!
[07:54] Shin
Remove the wrinkles and
moles from your face!
[07:57] Shin
Pierce the heart of your favorite girl!
[07:59] Shin
Let's beam it up together!
[08:01] Gin
Uh, so why are we
beaming it up with you?
[08:05] Obi
This is bad, Gintoki-dono!
[08:07] Obi
Nobody's stopping!
[08:09] Gin
Uh, why are you telling me this?
[08:11] Obi
How 'bout it? Let's spar
a little to show them
[08:13] ---
what beam sabers are about!
[08:15] Gin
Wait, I've never used a beam
saber before and I don't want to.
[08:19] Obi
How can you say that when you're
[08:21] ---
going to be a founder of
the School of Beam Saber?
[08:23] Gin
What?
[08:24] Obi
Don't play dumb. You and Otae-chan
have this going on, right?
[08:28] Gin
What's that supposed to mean?
[08:29] Gin
I've never seen that gesture before!
[08:31] Gin
And this guy's shooting
beams out of his pinky?!
[08:33] Obi
You know what I mean.
[08:34] Obi
You've been sticking your
beam inside Otae-chan's...
[08:40] Otae
Please stop it, Obi-one-niisama.
[08:43] Otae
We have no such relationship.
[08:44] Obi
That's the Otae-chan I remember.
[08:46] Obi
You've already mastered
the art of the beam saber.
[08:48] Gin
You mean she's mastered
how to jam it in your ass!
[08:51] Shin
No kidding. You're the one who
doesn't understand, Hajime-nii.
[08:54] Shin
Sis wouldn't want to
hear her first love say...
[08:58] Gin
Wait, so he's her first love?
[09:00] Gin
He's her first love?
[09:01] Kag
Seriously? That's what
the boss lady likes?
[09:04] Otae
Keep your mouth shut!
Want me to slaughter you?!
[09:06] Kon
Uh, excuse me.
[09:10] Both
We want to join
[09:13] Both
the School of Beam Saber!
[09:15] Gin
As if we wanted these freaks!
[09:18] Kon
If it's that awesome, Kyubei-kun,
I'd love to try this, uh...
[09:22] Kyu
What was it called,
Kondo-kun? Beachy Diarrhea?
[09:26] Kon
No, that's not it.
[09:27] Kon
Wasn't it Beach Sandal, Kyubei-kun?
[09:30] Gin
Wait, when did they become friends?!
[09:32] Gin
The stalkers have teamed up
because her first love is here!
[09:36] Kon
But before we join, we'll
need a demonstration
[09:39] ---
to see how awesome this really is.
[09:40] Kyu
That's right.
[09:42] ---
Would you be willing
to spar with us first?
[09:44] Obi
Sure, I'd love to do that.
[09:46] Obi
I can't wait!
[09:48] Obi
It's been years since
I fought a samurai!
[09:51] Gin
They're not fighting like samurai!
[09:53] Both
Die!
[09:55] Gin
Way to blurt out your intent!
[10:08] Obi
That's no good, you two.
[10:10] Obi
If you fire those in the middle
of town, people will die.
[10:13] Obi
Huh? What about me?
[10:15] Obi
I'm just fine.
[10:23] Obi
Though, I'm only half human now.
[10:35] A
Kenofi, Kenofi, come in, come in!
[10:39] A
No good. He's not responding.
[10:41] A
He's running solo again.
[10:43] A
That guy is so much trouble.
[10:45] B
Forget about him.
[10:46] B
I believe that this
planet is his homeland.
[10:49] B
Let the man say his farewells.
[10:57] Obi
Whew, we managed to recruit enough
students to get started.
SIGN Welcome New Students
Tendo Mushin Beam Saber
[11:01] Obi
Welcome to the School of
Tendo Mushin Beam Saber!
[11:04] Obi
Soz about what happened back there.
[11:08] Obi
You guys were so strong that
I couldn't hold myself back.
[11:13] Obi
But this means that we have
the seven strongest samurai
[11:15] ---
to get this school started off.
[11:17] Obi
We're going to make the School
of Beam Saber the best there is!
[11:21] Obi
Right, Instructor Sakata?
[11:23] Gin
Sure, Instructor Obi-one.
[11:26] Gin
I can't even be bothered
to complain anymore.
[11:28] Obi
Anyway, tonight we celebrate
our new beginning!
[11:32] Shin
Do you want beer, Hajime-nii?
[11:33] Obi
Nah, give me some shochu with gasoline!
[11:36] Otae
Please, Obi-one-niisama.
You're such a joker.
[11:43] Kon
Uh, excuse me, Instructor Obi-one.
[11:46] Kon
I have a question.
[11:47] Obi
What's up?
[11:48] Kon
I now understand how
amazing beam sabers are.
[11:51] Kon
The thing is...
[11:53] Kon
Even if we train under
the School of Beam Saber,
[11:56] Kon
I don't see how we can learn to do that.
[12:00] Obi
Don't worry.
[12:02] Obi
It's easy once you've learned the trick.
[12:04] Obi
Right, Instructor Sakata?
[12:08] Gin
Sure, you know how
one day, you take the
[12:11] ---
training wheels off your bike,
and suddenly you can ride it?
[12:13] Gin
It's just like that.
[12:14] Kon
Wait, I'm positive that you can't
do that stuff, Instructor Sakata!
[12:17] Kon
You still need your training wheels!
[12:19] Kyu
Honestly, I don't see how a
human could ever pull that off.
[12:24] Kyu
And that mechanical arm...
[12:27] Kyu
You said that you were only half human.
[12:30] Kyu
What did you mean by that?
[12:35] Obi
You think there's something
special about this arm?
[12:37] Obi
This is just a mechanical arm to
replace the one I lost in the accident.
[12:41] Gin
That's not nice, Kyubei.
[12:43] Gin
You shouldn't start accusing
people because they beat you.
[12:45] Gin
It takes strength to
admit your weaknesses.
[12:48] Gin
Now you have to write the word "jobber"
a hundred times before tomorrow.
[12:52] Kyu
And you have to write the
word "moron" a hundred times.
[12:56] Gin
How do you spell that?
[12:59] Kag
Like this, Instructor!
SIGN Gintoki
[13:01] Obi
If you don't trust me,
I'll show you my body.
[13:04] Obi
I meant exactly what I said back there.
[13:08] Obi
After wandering around the galaxy,
[13:10] ---
half my body is no longer
that of an Earthling.
[13:12] Obi
The other half hasn't
forgotten the spirit of Edo.
[13:20] Obi
What do you think?
[13:23] Kon
Don't you mean you're
half Edo and half robot?!
[13:26] Obi
That's what I said.
[13:28] Obi
The beam saber didn't
come from my right arm.
[13:31] Obi
It came from the mechanical
right side of my body.
[13:35] Kon
What the hell?!
[13:36] Shin
Huh?!
[13:37] Shin
What's going on?!
[13:38] Shin
What happened to your body, Hajime-nii?!
[13:41] Otae
O-Obi-one-niisama...
[13:43] Obi
What? You didn't realize
that I was a cyborg?
[13:48] Obi
Man, you guys don't pay attention!
[13:49] Obi
Right, Instructor Sakata?
[13:51] Gin
Huh? What?
SIGN Gintoki Gintoki Gintoki
Gintoki Gin
[13:52] Gin
We're having hamburger
steak tomorrow. Really?
[13:54] Kon
Cyborg! This guy's piss drunk!
[13:57] Shin
You're a cyborg, Hajime-nii?
[13:59] Obi
Yeah. You see, when I was
caught in the explosion,
[14:04] ---
the right half of my body
was mortally damaged.
[14:08] Obi
I'm embarrassed to admit that, well...
[14:10] Obi
I already died once.
[14:12] Shin
Wh-What?!
[14:14] A
We'll make him half that.
[14:14] Shin
Y-You already died once?!
[14:15] B
And half this.
[14:16] Shin
Th-That means...
[14:18] Obi
Luckily, the technology on the
planet was advanced enough
[14:21] ---
that they could revive me
by mechanizing half my body.
[14:25] Obi
I would become the strongest
swordsman in the galaxy.
[14:30] Obi
I returned from hell to achieve the
dream that had once... died...
[14:37] Shin
Hajime-nii!
[14:38] Kag
Hey! Did he go back to hell already?!
[14:42] Shin
Hajime-nii!
[14:43] Shin
Pull it together!
[14:43] Shin
What's wrong?!
[14:46] Obi
Give me shochu with gasoline!
[14:49] Otae
Oh, no, I thought he was joking.
[14:52] Otae
I'll go buy some gasoline, so Shin-chan,
[14:53] Otae
take him to the bedroom!
[14:54] Shin
S-Sis!
[14:56] Kon
Otae-san!
[15:06] Shin
Gengai-san, how does he look?
[15:11] Gen
Unfortunately, the problem
isn't that he's out of gasoline.
[15:16] Gen
Who fed him this junk?
[15:19] Gen
This matter doesn't exist on Earth.
[15:22] Gen
As far as I know, nothing like this has
been discovered in the universe yet.
[15:26] Kag
That's boss lady's...
[15:28] Otae
He must have eaten something
bad out in space.
[15:31] Otae
Obi-one-niisama is such a slob.
[15:34] Gen
Whatever. I got him to spit up the junk,
[15:38] Gen
so give him some shochu with gasoline.
[15:41] Gen
That's the only thing his body can take.
[15:44] Shin
U-Uh, Gengai-san!
[15:46] Shin
Is Hajime-nii...
[15:49] Gen
His human heart has stopped beating.
[15:53] Gen
All life-sustaining operations are
performed by the right side of his body.
[15:57] Gen
In other words, the machine
is keeping him alive.
[16:09] Shin
I thought he was finally back.
[16:13] Shin
This is terrible.
[16:15] Shin
He can't live without
that machine... That's just...
[16:20] Otae
Shin-chan...
[16:22] Otae
No matter how much he changes,
[16:24] ---
he'll still be the same person.
[16:26] Otae
And you can't let him see
that look on your face.
[16:32] Otae
Have you forgotten the promise we made?
[16:37] Otae
Geez, how many times
do I have to tell you?!
[16:40] Otae
Whether you're swinging your
sword or doing anything else,
[16:42] ---
you must maintain your form!
[16:44] Otae
Pretend that there's a rod
sticking through your body,
[16:48] Otae
and you can only move by
rotating around that rod!
[16:54] Shin
I don't understand, Sis!
[16:56] Shin
There's no rod in my body!
[17:00] Otae
Geez, I told you to stop crying!
[17:03] Otae
You're the son of a samurai, Shin-chan!
[17:05] Shin
But...
[17:06] Otae
Don't make excuses!
[17:08] A
Those kids are at it again.
[17:10] Ken
Hey! What are you doing?!
[17:12] A
Crap, it's the master!
[17:15] Otae
Father!
[17:16] Otae
Help me talk some sense into him.
[17:18] Otae
All Shin-chan does is cry,
and he won't stop.
[17:21] Otae
And everybody's laughing
at how loud we are.
[17:23] ---
It's embarrassing.
[17:24] Ken
Both of you are too loud!
[17:34] Obi
You siblings cry all the time.
[17:36] Obi
Why's that? Are you getting paid?
[17:39] Obi
I'll pay you more, then, so laugh!
[17:43] Otae
Ha—
[17:44] Shin
Hajime-nii...
[17:45] Obi
Listen up, you two.
[17:47] Obi
Tears are handy for washing away
troubling and sad feelings.
[17:55] Obi
But when you grow up, you'll learn
[17:58] Obi
that there are things so sad, they
can never be washed away by tears.
[18:03] Obi
That there are painful memories
that should never be washed away.
[18:09] Obi
So people who are truly strong
laugh when they want to cry.
[18:14] Obi
They endure all of the pain and sorrow
[18:17] Obi
while laughing with everybody else.
[18:21] Obi
You can cry all you want right now.
[18:24] Obi
But one day, you must become
samurai strong enough not to cry.
[18:28] Otae
Oh, so that's why you're
always laughing.
[18:32] Shin
I-I want to become strong like you!
[18:35] Obi
Really?
[18:37] Obi
Then stop practicing the sword for
today, and start practicing laughing!
[18:46] Obi
More, Otae-chan!
[18:49] Obi
Not good enough, Shin-bo!
[18:51] Obi
Like this!
[18:56] Ken
All three of you are too loud!
[19:02] Obi
Darn, crying won't make
this pain go away.
[19:14] Otae
No matter what's happened to him,
[19:16] ---
we were able to see
Obi-one-niisama again.
[19:21] Otae
We were able to see his smile again.
[19:27] Otae
Isn't that
[19:30] ---
enough?
[19:34] Shin
Sis...
[19:55] Hiji
Where did you go?
[19:57] Hiji
We've got trouble right now.
[20:00] Hiji
Earth may come to an end.
[20:03] Kon
Oh, I don't see a problem
[20:06] Kon
since my life's already over.
[20:08] Kon
My love has come to an end,
[20:09] Kon
so everyone else's lives might as well end.
[20:12] Oki
He clearly wants attention right now.
[20:15] Oki
I sure as hell don't want
to listen to him gripe.
[20:18] Hiji
It'll just be a waste of time, so let's
tell him what's up and get to work.
[20:22] Tojo
Lady!
[20:24] Tojo
Hey! Where have you been?!
[20:27] Tojo
Edo is in big trouble!
[20:31] Tojo
We've got big trouble here, too!
[20:34] Kyu
I'm disgusted with myself.
[20:37] Kyu
I was trying to kill someone
that Tae-chan truly cared about.
[20:42] Kyu
I'm tainted! I'm the one
who deserves to be killed!
[20:45] Tojo
Calm down, Lady!
[20:47] Tojo
Turn on the TV first!
[20:48] Tojo
The human race is about
to be killed off!
[20:50] Kyu
Don't touch me!
[20:53] Tojo
Oh, she noticed.
SIGN Machine Hall
[20:56] Gin
Did you call me out here because
there's some kind of problem?
[21:00] Gen
Actually, I noticed something
when I was checking his body.
[21:05] Gen
I couldn't do anything
about it, so I ignored it.
[21:10] Kon
Planet Beam?
[21:11] Hiji
They're known for developing
interstellar wave beam cannons.
[21:14] Hiji
Basically, no other planet
could compete with them
[21:17] ---
at making beam cannons,
[21:20] Hiji
but a few days ago,
[21:22] ---
Earth started a proposal to
ban the manufacturing and
[21:25] ---
exporting of beam cannons
because of the danger,
[21:29] Hiji
and the proposal seems likely to pass.
[21:32] Hiji
Those guys see that as a
big thorn in their side.
[21:35] Hiji
These people claim to be terrorists,
[21:37] Hiji
but I'm guessing that...
[21:39] Ana
It appears that you Earthlings do not
[21:41] ---
understand how beneficial
lasers can be in daily life.
[21:46] Ana
So we've sent a wonderful
present to help you understand.
[21:52] Gin
Huh? What did they just say?
[21:55] Gen
The mechanical half of his
body contains a time-triggered
[21:59] ---
interstellar wave beam cannon.
[22:02] Gen
Its targets are the
planets of the Alliance.
[22:05] Gen
If the cannon is fired, the rest of
the galaxy will declare war on Earth.
SIGN To Be Continued
SIGN Big Announcement
[23:45] Gin
We have a big announcement
about the second movie.
SIGN Gintama the Movie ---- In theaters on ----- !!
[23:49] Gin
Next week, the scratched-out
areas will be revealed.
[23:53] Gin
Hey, dads. Don't try to
spread butter on the screen.
[23:57] Gin
That's not what this is for.
SIGN Two Brothers
[24:01] Shin
Next time: Two Brothers.
SIGN Planet Beam is threatening Planet Earth,
SIGN and Obi Hajime was their advance party!!
SIGN The Shimura siblings are unsure about what to do,
SIGN but Gintoki has made his choice.
E263 - Two Brothers
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Two Brothers
[01:37] Ana
You have 24 hours until
the beam cannon fires.
[01:42] Ana
If your decision comes too late,
[01:44] Ana
tomorrow will be remembered
in the history of space as
[01:48] Ana
the day the star wars began,
a day that will live in infamy.
[01:53] Ana
And the first act of war will be to
reduce Earth, the catalyst, to space dust.
[02:01] Ana
It would be unwise to attempt to search
this large planet for our present.
[02:08] Ana
There is an emergency defense
system built into it.
[02:12] Ana
If you try anything funny,
this planet will be destroyed
[02:15] ---
before the beam cannon ever fires.
[02:18] Gin
Did that guy come back
to destroy his home?
[02:24] Gen
As a planet, Beam and its population are
basically one big weapons manufacturer.
[02:30] Gen
But as a nation, they're too smart
to butt into interstellar politics.
[02:34] Gen
However, there's a group called the
Firestarters who pulls strings to start wars.
[02:41] Gen
The Galaxy Sword Master
has made his name through
[02:44] ---
his exploits in those wars.
[02:46] Gen
But if he is, in truth, a fictitious hero
[02:49] ---
whose purpose is to start those wars...
[02:53] Shin
Hajime-nii!
[02:54] Shin
Whew, you're awake!
[02:57] Shin
Are you okay?
[03:02] Shin
Hajime-nii...
[03:06] Obi
Oh, Shin-bo.
[03:08] Obi
As you can see, I'm doing fine!
[03:10] Obi
Man, it's such a lovely morning!
[03:13] Obi
Edo mornings are so beautiful.
[03:18] Obi
How about it?
[03:19] ---
Let's go for a jog like we used to.
[03:24] Shin
Sure.
[03:26] Obi
He probably doesn't realize
that he's being used.
[03:32] Gin
How do we stop the mechanical
half of his body?
[03:38] Gin
Spit it out.
[03:39] ---
It's not something Shinpachi
or Otae can handle.
[03:44] Hiji
Okay, we will now chase down the
interstellar wave beam cannon.
[03:49] Hiji
Grab every person who looks suspicious.
[03:52] Oki
Hijikata-san, what would
be a suspicious person?
[03:57] Hiji
Someone who looks like he
might shoot out beams.
[03:58] Oki
Hey, this guy's shooting
idiot beams from his head.
[04:02] Oki
Throw him in the slammer.
[04:03] Hiji
Let me go!
[04:05] Hiji
Want me to murder you guys?!
[04:06] Hiji
Hey, Kondo-san! Say something!
[04:08] Hiji
Hey, stop this!
[04:09] Kondo
Someone who looks like he
might shoot out beams...
[04:12] A
This is the worst threat
the nation has faced since
[04:15] ---
the founding of the Tokugawa Bakufu!
[04:17] A
The Yagyu must step up to
score points with the Shogun!
[04:21] A
Scratch that.
[04:22] A
Step up to protect Edo!
[04:24] A
More paper money!
[04:25] A
Complete our celebrity blockade!
[04:28] A
Hey, who included Takagi
Boo with the celebrities?!
[04:32] B
Didn't you say to use
a Drifters blockade?
[04:34] A
No, I said to use a celebrity
blockade, Father!
[04:37] B
Oh, then I should look
for women who are easy.
[04:40] A
No, that would be a **** blockade!
[04:41] Kyu
Could it be...?
[04:45] Kag
Hey, is this good enough?
[04:47] Kag
I don't know since I've
never done this before.
[04:50] Obi
Temperature's perfect!
[04:51] Obi
Thank you very hamnida!
[04:53] Obi
Care to join me?!
[04:54] Kag
Want me to kill you,
Pervy Sword Master?!
[05:00] Obi
A bath really hits the
spot after some sparring.
[05:02] Obi
Right, Shin-bo?
[05:05] Shin
Are you trying to kill me?!
[05:09] Obi
You need to scorch your delicate
spots to make them squeaky clean!
[05:12] Shin
What kind of gunk did you
pick up out in space?!
[05:18] Gin
Still, where is he hiding
the beam cannon?
[05:23] Gin
All I can see is a little pistol.
[05:29] Gen
Listen to me, Gin-guy.
[05:31] Gen
If you stab him with this blade I've
rigged with a disruption device,
[05:35] ---
it will delay the activation of
the emergency defense system.
[05:39] Gen
That will be your chance to destroy
[05:41] ---
the mechanical half of his
body and fully disable him.
[05:44] Gin
What will happen to the
human side of his body?
[05:47] Gen
I already gave you an explanation.
[05:49] Gen
That machine is keeping
him alive right now.
[05:52] Gen
If the machine is disabled, the human half
of his body will go back to being dead.
[06:02] Otae
What are you doing here?
[06:10] Otae
Why are you carrying
that weapon, Gin-san?
[06:16] Gin
You know the answer.
[06:18] ---
I'm here to cut down your first love.
[06:22] Otae
You're not trying to hide it.
[06:26] Gin
Half-assed lies don't work on women.
[06:30] Gin
Your eyes are puffy.
[06:32] Gin
That's what you get for eavesdropping.
[06:38] Obi
You used to be so weak.
[06:40] Obi
I could barely feel you
scrubbing my back.
[06:43] Obi
You've really grown up.
[06:45] Obi
Though you haven't changed down there.
[06:48] Shin
You're one to talk!
[06:51] Shin
You're still out of my reach.
[06:54] Shin
I'll never be able to catch up to you.
[06:57] Obi
Shin-bo, you're already
stronger than me.
[07:02] Obi
All I got for leaving Earth
[07:06] ---
was this beat-up body and the
hollow title of Sword Master.
[07:15] Obi
After returning to Edo and seeing
you guys, I realized something.
[07:20] Obi
If you can't find something
close to protect,
[07:24] Obi
you can wander the entire universe
[07:29] Obi
and never achieve true strength.
[07:32] Obi
I should have returned sooner to
the country of the samurai.
[07:44] Shin
Why does it sound like you've given up?
[07:49] Shin
We can work together
to find the answer.
[07:52] Shin
We can work together to become strong.
[07:56] Shin
So don't say that.
[08:00] Shin
Our Hajime-nii would
never look so defeated!
[08:11] Obi
Shin-bo, so you know?
[08:16] Otae
We understand.
[08:20] Otae
So please, we won't ask
you to wait until tomorrow,
[08:24] Otae
but could you give us
a little more time?
[08:27] Otae
Please lower your sword,
[08:30] ---
Gin-san.
[08:34] Shin
I always wanted to introduce
you and Gin-san to each other.
[08:40] Shin
I always hoped that one day,
[08:42] ---
the two of you would sit
here next to each other
[08:46] ---
while I washed your backs.
[08:49] Shin
But now...
[08:51] Shin
Why is it you?
[08:54] Shin
Why did this have to happen?!
[09:00] Otae
I beg you, Gin-san.
[09:03] Otae
Just give us a little more time.
[09:06] Otae
Let him
[09:09] Otae
be Shin-chan's big brother
a little longer.
[09:13] Obi
I won't be able to restrain the
other half of my body much longer.
[09:18] Obi
I was prepared to end my own life,
[09:20] Obi
but I came back to Edo
[09:24] Obi
because I wanted to see you
and Otae-chan one last time.
[09:30] Obi
Soz about getting you
into all this trouble.
[09:36] Obi
But I'm glad I got to see this
city of samurai one last time—
[09:47] Gin
You're in my way.
[09:49] Gin
Move it.
[09:51] Gin
Why do you all have those
looks on your faces?
[09:54] Gin
Did you forget what the
School of Beam Saber
[09:57] ---
teaches about reacting
in these situations?
[10:00] Gin
Well, Instructor Obi-one?
[10:12] Shin
Hajime-nii!
[10:15] Shin
Stop it!
[10:16] Shin
Gin-san!
[10:17] Shin
Hajime-nii is still...
[10:18] Shin
Still...
[10:19] Gin
I told you, you're in my way!
[10:23] Kag
Shinpachi!
[10:23] Otae
Shin-chan!
[10:26] Gin
Damn, he got away.
[10:30] Shin
Please wait!
[10:32] Shin
Why...
[10:33] Shin
Why are you doing this?!
[10:35] Shin
Why would you be so cruel?!
[10:38] Shin
Hajime-nii knows everything!
[10:40] Shin
He understands what's happening!
[10:42] Shin
He's prepared to end his own life!
[10:46] Gin
He can't do that.
[10:50] Gin
It's not his body anymore.
[10:53] Gin
You were washing a dead body
with some junk attached.
[11:01] ---
I dare you...
[11:03] Shin
I dare you to repeat that.
[11:04] Otae
Stop it, Shin-chan!
[11:07] Otae
Please stop this, both of you!
[11:11] Gin
Sorry, but I'm not interested
in sitting around with
[11:15] ---
a bunch of emotional saps,
waiting for my death.
[11:19] Gin
If you can't handle the job, I'll do it.
[11:23] Gin
It's that simple.
[11:26] Shin
Wait...
[11:29] Shin
Wait.
[11:34] Shin
I said to wait!
[11:36] Shin
Are you deaf?!
[11:43] Otae
Shin-chan!
[11:46] Shin
How can two big brothers
be so different?
[11:52] Gin
Look at me.
[11:54] Gin
Is this the face of a big brother?
[11:58] Shin
True, your nose hairs are sticking out.
[12:02] Gin
Oh, you're right.
[12:03] Otae
Shin-chan!
[12:05] Otae
Hang in there, Shin-chan!
[12:07] Otae
Shin-chan!
[12:11] All
Excuse us.
[12:15] Obi
The emergency defense
system hasn't activated.
[12:17] Obi
That man must have done something.
[12:22] Obi
Was he able to sense my
intention to kill that boy?
[12:28] Yama
Hey!
[12:30] Yama
What are you doing up there?!
[12:35] Yama
What the hell?!
[12:36] Yama
He can shoot beams from his eyes!
[12:38] Yama
After him!
[12:39] Yama
Don't let him escape!
[12:44] A
We can't find him.
[12:45] B
Same here.
[12:47] Hiji
You better find him before
I finish smoking this.
[12:50] Hiji
Shah that guy up before these curtain
rings can "shah" the curtain shut.
[12:56] Both
Or else it's seppuku time.
[12:58] Kag
You middle management people are useless!
[13:01] Kag
Get out of the way!
[13:02] Tojo
I'll let you go if you
tell us where he is.
[13:05] Kag
That's what we want to know!
[13:08] Shin
Can you cut it out?
[13:10] Otae
Shin-chan...
[13:11] Shin
Everyone's up in arms.
[13:13] Shin
Are you so intent on
destroying Hajime-nii?
[13:17] Shin
In any case, this gives
Kondo-san and Kyubei-san
[13:21] ---
an excuse to rid themselves of their rival.
[13:26] Shin
That's despicable.
[13:28] Shin
You're all despicable!
[13:34] Hiji
Not as despicable as your leader.
[13:39] Obi
Come in, this is Kenofi.
[13:42] Obi
There's been a problem.
[13:44] Obi
I request assistance.
[13:45] Obi
My current coordinates are...
[13:51] Tojo
We weren't spurred into action
by my lady or Kondo-dono.
[14:00] Tojo
It was your leader.
[14:05] Obi
This was a mistake on my part.
[14:06] Obi
I didn't expect him to have
[14:09] ---
such a dangerous man as
his new brother figure.
[14:11] Gin
Why are you all so obsessed
with the brother thing?
[14:17] Gin
Neither Shinpachi nor I am
interested in being brothers!
[14:24] Shin
Gin-san did?
[14:26] Oki
Hijikata-san...
[14:29] Oki
Looks like the news has gotten out.
[14:33] Hiji
Sorry, but we can't let you pass.
[14:35] Hiji
The Shinsengumi are on the job.
[14:37] Tojo
Do not worry.
[14:38] ---
We will search every nook
and cranny of the building.
[14:41] Tojo
You should go take a bath and
[14:42] ---
wash every nook and cranny of your body.
[14:44] A
Wh-Who are you people?
[14:45] Oki
We aren't here to capture Obi-one.
[14:48] Oki
We're holding off the
cops who are on his tail
[14:51] Oki
and making sure that you all are safe.
[14:54] Shin
Wh-Why would you do that?
[14:56] Oki
Because your leader got down
on his knees and begged us to.
[15:06] Obi
If you kill me, you will
lose their trust forever.
[15:09] Obi
Given that, why did you come here?
[15:12] Gin
I'm not interested in
battling to the death
[15:14] ---
with a bunch of crying fools
standing nearby!
[15:16] Gin
This is much better!
[15:19] Obi
Battling to the death?
[15:21] Obi
Don't make me laugh.
[15:27] Obi
You're unconsciously trying to
avoid attacking my left side.
[15:32] Gin
So this is the power of
the Galaxy Sword Master?
[15:36] Gin
Not very impressive.
[15:38] Gin
That title's too flashy for you.
[15:42] Gin
You should stick to
being a big brother.
[15:45] Oki
"I'll figure out a way to
bring Obi-one back alive,
[15:48] Oki
so could you stay put and
not do anything until then?"
[15:54] Oki
He planted his empty head
right against the floor.
[16:00] Oki
Want to see a picture?
[16:04] Shin
Why did he do that?
[16:08] Shin
Why did he ask you for help
[16:11] Shin
when he didn't say a word to us?!
[16:13] Shin
That idiot!
[16:15] Otae
He wanted to keep us away
from Obi-one-niisama.
[16:21] Gin
Don't worry, Obi-one.
[16:24] Gin
Nobody else will be joining us.
[16:28] Gin
I won't let you get any
more blood on your hands!
[16:32] Gin
So
[16:34] ---
come back, Obi-one!
[16:38] Gin
Come back and be their big
brother one more time!
[16:45] Otae
He was the only one who hadn't given up
[16:49] Otae
on saving Obi-one-niisama.
[16:54] Obi
Do you seriously believe
that he's still capable
[17:00] Obi
of returning?!
[17:09] Obi
Come in. This is Kenofi.
[17:12] Obi
I need to be picked up immediately.
[17:14] Ana
Kenofi?
[17:16] Ana
Are you really Kenofi?
[17:18] Ana
We've already locked on to your
signal and begun the retrieval.
[17:24] Ana
Kenofi, where are you right now?
[17:33] Ana
I-Impossible!
[17:34] Ana
What is the meaning of this?!
[17:46] Oki
Man, it's not easy when we all
work for a bunch of losers.
[17:51] Shin
No way...
[17:53] Ana
Wh-Who are you?!
[17:55] Ana
Identify yourselves!
[17:56] Both
From the School of Tendo
Mushin Beam Saber!
[18:00] Kyu
Yagyu Kyubei.
[18:02] Kondo
And Kondo Isami.
[18:05] Kyu
We've come here to
reclaim the human half...
[18:10] Kondo
...of our instructor, Obi Hajime.
[18:14] Obi
You were able to disrupt my
transmitter with that strike?
[18:20] Obi
You just came here to buy time
[18:22] Obi
while your allies work to
disable the beam cannon?
[18:27] Gin
Like I said, nobody else
will be joining us.
[18:34] Gin
Will you leave that body first,
[18:38] Gin
or will you get rid of me first?
[18:40] Gin
It's a waiting game now.
[18:43] Obi
Foolishness!
[18:47] Ana
Damn those Earth apes!
[18:49] Ana
They tricked us!
[18:51] Kon
We clearly got the short
end of the stick.
[18:54] Kon
Stuck helping our rival in love.
[18:57] Kon
A victory here won't win us anything.
[19:02] Kyu
We've still got it better
than that idiot
[19:05] Kyu
since he had to beg for help.
[19:07] ---
Plus he'll be losing his
position as a brother figure.
[19:11] Kyu
Besides, now I know
[19:15] Kyu
the reason why Otae-chan was able to
[19:18] ---
smile when times were tough or painful.
[19:21] Kyu
Even if her smile isn't
directed our way,
[19:24] Kyu
I just want her to truly smile again.
[19:29] Kon
I see. That means...
[19:33] Kon
I should laugh with them.
[19:37] Obi
So people who are truly strong
laugh when they want to cry.
[19:43] Obi
They endure all of the pain and sorrow
[19:46] Obi
while laughing with everybody else.
[19:52] Obi
But one day, you must become
samurai strong enough not to cry.
[20:01] Yama
Captain Okita, are you sure about this?
SIGN Image has been deleted.
[20:04] Oki
Sorry, big guy. I couldn't stop them.
[20:09] Oki
We little brothers have our own pride.
[20:13] Tojo
Well, let's get going.
[20:20] Hiji
To our big brother's side.
[20:35] Ana
It seems that you people are intent
on keeping that man alive.
[20:40] Ana
But you've been wasting your time.
[20:44] Kon
What's that?
[20:45] Ana
Nobody can stop him at this point.
[20:48] ---
Not us, not him...
[20:51] Ana
The emergency system
will recover shortly.
[20:56] Ana
When that happens, you
Earthlings will be finished.
[21:00] Kyu
Kondo...
[21:02] Kon
Bullshit.
[21:03] Kon
That's bullshit.
[21:05] Kon
Then why...
[21:07] Kon
Then why did he have
to play the bad guy?!
[21:10] Kon
Why did he have to get
on his knees and beg?!
[21:16] Kon
Can you give those two big brothers
back to Shinpachi-kun?
[21:24] Obi
It'll be thirty minutes
before my system recovers.
[21:30] Obi
There's only one way to stop the
beam cannon before that happens.
[21:34] Obi
You have to destroy me, Obi-one.
[21:40] Obi
I'll be sending your little
brother and this planet
[21:44] Obi
to see you shortly.
[21:47] Obi
You can wait in hell for them.
[21:58] Shin
Did you call me his little brother?
[22:01] Shin
You people throw the word
brother around too much!
[22:06] Gin
Neither Gin-san nor I am interested
in being brothers, you fool!
SIGN To Be Continued
[23:45] Gin
We have a big announcement
about the second movie.
[23:48] Gin
Next week, the censored
areas will be revealed.
SIGN Gintama the Movie ---- In theaters on ---- ----th!
[23:52] Gin
Hey, squinting won't help you.
[23:54] Gin
If squinting helped, you'd have a lot of
boys spending 1/3 of their time squinting.
SIGN Liquor and Gasoline Smiles and Tears
[24:00] Otae
Next time:
[24:01] Otae
Liquor and Gasoline, Smiles and Tears.
SIGN There's a huge atmosphere swing
SIGN between the movie preview and the next episode preview.
SIGN That's just business as usual
SIGN in the Gintama anime.
E264 - Liquor and Gasoline, Smiles and Tears
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Liquor and Gasoline, Smiles and Tears
[01:38] Shin
You people throw the word
brother around too much!
[01:42] Gin
Neither Gin-san nor I am interested
in being brothers, you fool!
[01:47] Gin
Shinpa—
[01:54] Obi
Why would you come here
[01:58] Obi
when it's already too late?!
[02:09] Shin
Gin-san!
[02:13] Shin
Gin-san, hang in there!
[02:16] Gin
Idiot...
[02:18] Gin
Why did you come?
[02:21] Shin
Yamazaki-san told me everything.
[02:24] Shin
That you guys were here...
[02:27] Shin
That he wouldn't be returning...
[02:31] Gin
Don't say that.
[02:33] Gin
Who went and decided that it was over?
[02:37] Gin
Stay out of this.
[02:39] Gin
Th-That guy will be back.
[02:43] Gin
I swear I'll bring him back to you.
[02:48] Gin
So can you wait just a little longer?
[02:54] Gin
It won't take much longer.
[02:57] Gin
Really.
[02:59] Gin
Please. I promise, okay?
[03:08] Gin
Damn...
[03:13] Gin
Damn...
[03:18] Shin
It's okay.
[03:21] Shin
You've done enough.
[03:23] Shin
So Gin-san, don't disappear on us.
[03:28] Shin
Even if Hajime-nii returns
[03:31] Shin
and Earth is saved,
[03:34] Shin
we won't be smiling if
you're not with us.
[03:38] Shin
It's okay if you don't
act like a big brother.
[03:41] Shin
It's okay if you're the total
opposite of a role model.
[03:44] Shin
It's okay if you aren't
showing us the way to go.
[03:49] Shin
As long as you're with us
when we've lost our way...
[03:53] Shin
As long as you're by our side,
sharing the pain and sorrow...
[03:58] Shin
As long as everybody's by
our side, we'll be smiling.
[04:02] Shin
No matter how difficult it may be.
[04:05] Gin
Shinpachi...
[04:08] Shin
So can you let us take it from here?
[04:11] Shin
Don't worry.
[04:12] Shin
I'm no longer the crybaby
little brother of Obi Hajime,
[04:16] Shin
nor am I a student of the
School of Beam Saber.
[04:19] Shin
I am the successor of the
School of Tendo Mushin
[04:21] Shin
and Odd Jobs' Shimura Shinpachi.
[04:24] Gin
Wait, Shin—
[04:26] Kag
Gin-chan!
[04:27] Kag
Hold on, Gin-chan!
[04:29] Shin
Kagura-chan...
[04:32] Shin
Take care of Gin-san for me.
[04:34] Gin
Didn't you hear me tell you to wait?
[04:52] Obi
Are you insane?
[04:54] Obi
You want to fight a man who completely
destroyed your big brother?
[04:59] Shin
You seem to be mistaken.
[05:01] Shin
Gin-san didn't come here to kill you.
[05:04] Shin
He came to save you.
[05:05] Shin
If Gin-san had come to kill you,
[05:08] Shin
you wouldn't be standing
before me right now.
[05:10] Shin
But it doesn't matter now.
[05:12] Shin
I'll get Hajime-nii back
even if I have to kill you,
[05:16] Shin
no matter how much
pain it may cause me.
[05:20] Obi
If you go through life with the blood
of your benefactor on your hands,
[05:25] Obi
you won't be the only one
who suffers as a result.
[05:27] Otae
I, Shimura Tae, will be the
witness for this battle.
[05:34] Otae
The School of Tendo Mushin
and the School of Beam Saber
[05:37] ---
in a no-holds-barred duel.
[05:39] Otae
Fight as true warriors to the very end.
[05:42] Kag
Boss lady...
[05:44] Otae
Please watch us, Obi-one-niisama.
[05:48] Otae
The crybaby who always
followed you around
[05:52] Otae
and all of us who always
admired your strength
[05:56] Otae
have become much stronger
[06:00] ---
after meeting you and everyone else.
[06:03] Otae
Strong enough to stop you.
[06:06] Otae
Begin now!
[06:14] Shin
Hajime-nii!
[06:25] Obi
Come, Shin-bo!
[06:51] Obi
I have seen the future of
the School of Tendo Mushin.
[06:57] Obi
You've become so strong,
Shin-bo, Otae-chan...
[07:21] Otae
Point.
[07:25] A
We've lost contact with Kenofi?
[07:28] A
Impossible, he's the
Galaxy Sword Master.
[07:31] B
Curses!
[07:32] ---
Do you have any idea how much money
[07:34] ---
we poured into making that thing?!
[07:36] B
It was a mistake to rely on a native
monkey to carry out this mission!
[07:41] B
How dare he die before
he could be of any use?!
[07:44] B
No matter what you spend on it, junk is—
[07:46] Kon
Shut up.
[07:47] Kon
Keep that filthy mouth of yours shut.
[07:50] Kon
He's not a piece of junk.
[07:52] Kon
And he's not a weapon.
[07:54] Kon
At long last, he's finally made it home.
[07:58] Kon
The samurai is back in the
country of the samurai.
[08:01] Kon
No more will you toy with
human lives and emotions!
[08:06] Kon
We will make you pay!
[08:09] Kon
Apprehend them!
[08:11] Kon
What?!
[08:12] A
Too bad for you, monkeys.
[08:16] Obi
That was an excellent strike.
[08:19] Obi
Shin-bo, you've come a long way.
[08:23] Obi
I'm very happy.
[08:26] Shin
You've always been a liar.
[08:27] Shin
And that hasn't changed.
[08:30] Shin
You always gave in to my persistence,
[08:33] Shin
and let me win once while
saying that I'd gotten stronger.
[08:37] Shin
You were always joking around.
[08:41] Obi
I was serious this time.
[08:44] Obi
Your voices pierced through
this cold metal body.
[08:48] Obi
Your voice,
[08:51] ---
Otae-chan's voice,
[08:53] ---
Instructor Sakata's voice...
[08:57] Obi
Your voices summoned my soul
from this lump of metal.
[09:02] Obi
Which is why I was able to beat
my other half at the very end.
[09:09] Obi
I couldn't match up to the rest of you,
[09:12] Obi
but for a moment, I think I
knew what true strength was.
[09:16] Obi
I can finally come home
without feeling ashamed.
[09:22] Obi
Truly, thank you very hamnida.
[09:25] Kag
You shouldn't leave, then.
[09:28] Kag
Stay here forever.
[09:30] Kag
We can all play with beam
sabers together again.
[09:34] Kag
I'll do a better job of preparing
your bath this time.
[09:37] Kag
So...
[09:39] Kag
Don't talk like this is the end.
[09:42] Kag
Don't leave Shinpachi and
the boss lady alone.
[09:49] Obi
Don't worry.
[09:51] Obi
I just left something up in space.
[09:59] A
Did you think that we wouldn't
be prepared for such an event?
[10:02] A
Even if Kenofi is disabled, the energy
that's accumulated inside won't vanish.
[10:09] A
At the moment, he's an unexploded bomb
that can destroy an entire planet.
[10:14] A
Do you know what will happen if
we give him a little stimulation?
[10:18] Kon
You bastard!
[10:22] Kon
Huh?
[10:23] Kyu
Don't touch me!
[10:32] Kon
What?
[10:33] Hiji
Are you guys okay?!
[10:36] Kon
Toshi!
[10:37] Kon
Stop them!
[10:38] Kon
They're going to
[10:40] Kon
discharge the energy in Obi Hajime
[10:42] Kon
and obliterate Earth!
[10:45] Obi
So once I've picked up
what I left behind,
[10:50] Obi
I'll come back.
[10:52] Obi
In the meantime,
[10:54] Obi
Instructor Sakata, look
after everyone for me.
[11:08] Gin
Let's go, guys.
[11:13] Gin
Didn't you hear me?
[11:16] Gin
You didn't forget the teachings of the
School of Beam Saber again, did you?
[11:24] Otae
It's okay.
[11:27] Otae
Don't worry, Obi-one-niisama.
[11:31] Otae
We won't cry anymore.
[11:36] Otae
So just promise... Just promise us...
[11:41] Obi
Yeah...
[11:44] Obi
I promise that we'll meet again.
[11:49] Hiji
Fire!
[11:50] Hiji
Shoot that thing down!
[11:53] A
It's too late!
[11:55] B
Beam cannon energy fully charged!
[11:58] B
We're locked onto Kenofi's coordinates!
[12:03] A
What?! Impossible!
[12:05] A
Kenofi has...
[12:12] B
That man is pointing
his beam cannon at us!
[12:16] A
It means nothing! Open fire!
[12:22] Obi
Listen up, you two.
[12:25] Obi
Tears are handy for washing away
troubling and sad feelings.
[12:34] Obi
But when you grow up, you'll learn
[12:38] Obi
that there are things so sad, they
can never be washed away by tears.
[12:45] Obi
That there are painful memories
that should never be washed away.
[12:50] Obi
So people who are truly strong
laugh when they want to cry.
[12:57] Obi
They endure all of the pain and sorrow
[13:01] Obi
while laughing with everybody else.
[13:05] Obi
You can cry all you want right now.
[13:10] Obi
But one day, you must become
samurai strong enough not to cry.
SIGN Kabuki First District
[13:41] A
Why don't you drop by, big guy?
SIGN Snack Smile
[13:44] A
We've got a bunch of cute girls!
[13:46] A
How about it, gentlemen?
[13:48] Kon
Is that true?
[13:50] Kon
We can choose anyone we want?
[13:52] A
Yup, you can choose anyone,
and they're all babes.
[13:57] Kyu
Really, then...
[14:00] Both
We'll take the babe named Otae.
[14:02] A
Oh, it's you guys again.
[14:05] A
You keep coming back every day.
[14:07] A
I told you that you're wasting your time.
[14:09] A
We haven't heard anything from Otae-chan
[14:11] ---
since she went on leave a month back,
[14:13] A
and we have no idea
when she's returning.
[14:16] A
We're struggling right now after
losing our top attraction,
[14:20] A
so could you not disrupt our business?
[14:25] Kyu
It's been a month already.
[14:28] Kon
That man saved our planet,
[14:31] Kon
but we weren't able to save anything.
[14:37] Kyu
I heard that Shinpachi-kun hasn't
been down to Odd Jobs since.
[14:41] Kyu
This is when they really need
other people by their sides,
[14:47] Kyu
but the person they truly want
by their sides is no longer here.
[14:53] Kyu
If we go visit, we'll only
put more stress on them.
[14:57] Kyu
I don't believe I can make
them smile right now.
[15:02] Kon
All we can do now is
wait and have faith
[15:06] Kon
that the two of them
will be able to overcome
[15:08] ---
their sorrow and move forward.
[15:12] Kon
Our job is to smile and welcome
them back when the time comes.
[15:17] Kon
For now, we wait.
[15:18] Kon
But when the time comes...
[15:20] Kyu
Yes, I'm sure they'll smile again.
[15:22] Shin
Man, that was so much fun.
[15:25] Otae
Yes, it's been so long since the two of us
[15:27] ---
were able to have some fun together.
[15:29] Shin
But I wanted to stay a little longer.
[15:31] Otae
That was long enough.
[15:32] Otae
We don't want to trouble
everyone any longer.
[15:36] Shin
Oh, it's Kondo-san and Kyubei-san.
[15:39] Shin
Haven't seen you in a while.
[15:41] Shin
The Shimura siblings
are back from Waiiha!
[15:44] Otae
Here, we brought chocolate covered
macadamia nuts as a souvenir.
[15:48] Both
Vacation?
[15:50] Otae
Yes, we went to Planet Waiiha,
where it's always summer.
[15:54] Shin
You know, with all these new long arcs,
[15:56] ---
we haven't had a chance to take a break.
[15:58] Shin
So we decided to use the paid
vacation days we've accumulated
[16:01] ---
and take some time off together.
[16:04] Shin
So, Planet Waiiha was awesome!
[16:06] Shin
You're probably thinking that
vacationing in Waiiha is too cliche.
[16:10] Shin
But there's a reason it's considered cliche.
[16:13] Kon
Ah, I understand what you mean.
[16:14] ---
Waiiha is the best!
[16:15] Kon
How am I supposed to understand?!
[16:16] Kon
Why would you choose this
timing to go on vacation?!
[16:19] Kon
I thought that you were both
moping around inside your house,
[16:23] Kon
but you're completely tanned!
[16:24] Kon
Dark as chocolate covered
macadamia nuts!
[16:27] Kyu
Can't you tell, Kondo?
They're pushing themselves.
[16:31] Kyu
This wasn't an ordinary vacation.
[16:32] Kyu
They left Edo so we wouldn't
have to see them suffer.
[16:37] Kyu
And they're acting cheerful
so we don't notice that fact.
[16:42] Kyu
Don't say anything that'll
dig the wound open again.
[16:45] Kon
Well, I'm glad that you
enjoyed yourselves.
[16:48] Kon
But it must have cost
a lot to go to Waiiha.
[16:52] Kon
You must have had a lot saved up.
[16:53] Otae
Oh, we paid for it with money
[16:55] ---
we received from Obi-one-niisama's
life insurance.
[16:57] Kon
What wound? They dug up a
whole new grave on their own!
[17:01] Kon
I can see him! I can see
Obi-one-niisama rolling in the grave!
[17:03] Otae
Obi-one-niisama made arrangements for
[17:06] ---
the money to be given to this
dojo if anything happened to him,
[17:09] Otae
so the money was meant
to be used for the dojo.
[17:12] Kon
Really? So you went on vacation?
[17:14] Otae
That's why...
[17:14] Kon
You used that money to go on vacation?
[17:16] Otae
We were happy to use it
[17:18] Otae
for macadamia nuts.
[17:20] Kon
You used the money for macadamia nuts?!
[17:22] Kon
Wait!
[17:23] Kon
You spent the money from
his life on nuts?!
[17:25] Otae
It wasn't much money.
[17:27] Kon
He's gotta be mad!
[17:28] Kon
He's going to shoot
beams down from heaven!
[17:30] Kon
Wait, Kyubei-kun!
[17:32] Kon
These siblings are a lot
stronger than I expected!
[17:34] Kon
They've overcome their brother's death
and started trampling all over it!
[17:37] Kyu
You must understand, Kondo.
[17:39] Kyu
They're trying to say goodbye
to their memory of Obi Hajime.
[17:42] Kyu
So they exchanged his life for
chocolate covered macadamia nuts
[17:45] Kyu
so the memories will
melt like chocolate.
[17:48] Kon
No, that can't be it.
[17:51] Kyu
Don't you understand, Kondo?
[17:52] Kyu
Macadamia nuts are really good.
[17:55] Kon
You just want to eat macadamia nuts!
[17:57] Otae
Please help yourself, Kondo-san.
[18:00] Otae
Please enjoy the fruits of the legacy
left behind by Obi-one-niisama's life.
[18:04] Kon
I can't eat that!
[18:06] Kon
I've never eaten chocolate
that was so meaningful!
[18:09] Shin
Hajime-nii...
[18:11] Shin
We won't let your wishes go to waste.
[18:15] Shin
We will restore this dojo
[18:17] Shin
and make it as busy as it
was when you were here
[18:22] Shin
with these macadamia nuts.
[18:23] Kon
Uh, I'm pretty sure
you wasted the money!
[18:25] Kon
Why would you need macadamia nuts?!
[18:28] A
Hello!
[18:30] Otae
Look, Shin-chan.
[18:31] Otae
They're here already.
[18:33] B
Excuse me.
[18:34] B
Is this the dojo that's
looking for students?
[18:38] Shin
We've been expecting you!
[18:40] Shin
Welcome to Kodokan!
[18:43] Mada
Is it true that you'll give us
macadamia nuts if we train in the sword?
[18:46] Kon
You're just using the nuts as bait!
[18:49] Kon
Shinpachi-kun! They're not
looking for a home dojo!
[18:51] Kon
They're just plain homeless!
[18:53] Kon
And what happened to your tan?!
[18:54] Shin
It's okay.
[18:56] Shin
We can start with macadamia nuts
[18:57] ---
and hope they learn to love the sword.
[19:00] Shin
If that's what it takes to
protect the sword he loved...
[19:04] ---
To protect this samurai country...
[19:08] Mada
Hey, who cares about swords?
[19:10] Mada
Give us the macadamia nuts already!
[19:12] Kon
You should be looking for work
instead of begging for nuts.
[19:14] Gin
Shut up!
[19:16] Gin
Don't be in such a rush.
[19:17] Gin
No need to worry.
[19:19] Gin
You'll get all the nuts you want,
[19:22] Gin
if you can land a clean hit on Sakata
Gintoki, substitute instructor
[19:26] ---
for the School of Tendo
Mushin Macadamia.
[19:30] Kon
You guys...
[19:32] Gin
I promise you this.
[19:34] Gin
By the time you get to eat your nuts,
[19:37] ---
you'll all be functional
members of society again.
[19:40] Kon
Wait, this is turning into
a different kind of school!
[19:42] Gin
So promise me something.
[19:45] Gin
No matter how difficult the training may be
[19:48] Gin
or what kinds of hardships you face in life,
[19:52] Gin
never stop smiling.
[19:56] Gin
That's the one and only rule in
[19:58] ---
the School of Tendo Mushin Macadamia.
SIGN Eternal Instructor
Obi Hajime
[20:01] Gin
Isn't that right,
[20:03] ---
Instructor Obi-one?
[20:11] Mada
That's fine!
[20:12] Mada
Gang up on him!
[20:14] All
Give us the macadamia nuts!
[20:20] Kag
Okay, next!
[20:21] Mada
Hold on!
[20:22] Mada
What happened to the swords?! This
is turning into a kung fu dojo!
[20:25] Mada
Is this a dojo where we get beat
up in return for macadamia nuts?!
[20:29] Kag
Stop worrying about the
details and just smile!
[20:32] Mada
How can I do that?!
[20:36] Kyu
Kondo, do you understand?
[20:43] Kon
I sure do.
[20:49] Kon
Hey, they won't help you
become decent samurai.
[20:53] Kon
I'll take you on!
[20:55] Kon
Bring it!
[20:57] Kyu
Nonsense.
[20:58] Kyu
The macadamia nuts will be mine!
[21:00] Kon
That's not the point here!
[21:05] Gin
Well, let's get going,
[21:11] Gin
Shinpachi.
[21:11] Obi
Shin-bo.
[21:17] Shin
Yes!
[21:22] Otae
Obi-one-niisama, I'm sorry.
[21:25] Otae
We can't use the money that
you left for our dojo.
[21:30] Otae
There hasn't been time for a
proper burial, but I promise to
[21:33] ---
put you in a grave next to our father.
[21:36] Otae
So don't worry about us.
[21:40] Otae
The two of you can enjoy your
liquor and gasoline together.
[21:46] Otae
It's okay.
[21:48] Otae
Shin-chan and I
[21:50] Otae
and our wonderful friends
[21:55] Otae
are doing just fine.
SIGN Announcement
[23:31] Mada
Three years after Benizakura
Arc the New Translation,
[23:35] Mada
we now have a completely original
story by the author Sorachi Hideaki,
[23:40] Mada
which delves into the past.
[23:46] Mada
Gintama the Movie: The Final Act!
[23:48] Mada
Odd Jobs Forever!
[23:51] Both
Watch as the Gintama
anime comes to an end!
SIGN In theaters July 6th
[23:55] Shin
Wait, what's this about?!
[23:56] Gin
Hold on a sec!
[23:56] Kag
Where did they get that idea?!
[23:57] Gin
What's this Final Act business?!
[23:58] Shin
What? The manga isn't over yet!
[23:58] Kag
Is this just the usual
fooling around again?!
[23:59] Gin
Gin-san and the Yaksha know nothing!
SIGN Dog Food Doesn't Taste Like You Think
[24:00] Gin
Next time: Dog Food Doesn't
Taste Like You Think
[24:04] Gin
Nobody said anything to me about this!
SIGN Gintama as usual. Odd Jobs as usual.
[24:06] Gin
Hey, can you hear me?!
[24:08] Gin
Hey, Fujita!
[24:09] Gin
Hey, Shinji!
SIGN The trio plus one animal, forever...
[24:10] Gin
Hey...
[24:12] Gin
Are you listening to me?!
E265 - Dog Food Doesn't Have As Much Flavor As You'd Think
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Dog Food Doesn't Have As Much Flavor As You'd Think
[01:41] Gin
What's that look for?
[01:43] Gin
Got a problem?
[01:45] Gin
If it's not enough, eat the meatballs
on the bottoms of your feet.
SIGN meatball (paw pads)
SIGN Sorry, Sadaharu.
[01:49] Kag
You'll have to make do with this today.
[01:51] Kag
Odd Jobs is going through
a food shortage right now.
[01:54] Kag
We're all starving.
[01:58] Kag
That's a good boy.
[02:00] Kag
Gin-chan, Sadaharu understands.
[02:02] Gin
Good.
[02:03] Gin
Then the three of us can split this.
[02:07] Both
Thanks.
[02:10] Shin
What the hell?!
[02:12] Shin
Don't you have any human dignity?!
[02:15] Shin
You shouldn't steal food from your
pet, no matter how hungry you are!
[02:17] Shin
You should be ashamed!
[02:19] Gin
Can you blame us?
[02:20] Gin
It's been ages since
we last had a client,
[02:22] Gin
so we don't have a single
grain of rice left.
[02:26] Gin
The situation's so grim
[02:27] ---
that we may go from eating dog
food to eating the dog for food.
[02:30] Shin
Eating the dog for food?!
[02:31] Shin
You're moving from pissing off the
PTA to pissing off PETA now?!
[02:35] Gin
What's that about PETA?
[02:37] Gin
Does the PTA eat PETA?
[02:39] Kag
The PTA only eats up
teachers with an attitude.
[02:42] Shin
That's completely different!
[02:44] Gin
Quit your bitching.
[02:45] Gin
Whose fault do you think this is?
[02:49] Gin
It's because of this large animal
that eats a lot and never works,
[02:53] Gin
and the glasses boy who just
wears glasses and never works.
[02:57] Shin
Hey! You've crossed the line now!
[02:59] Shin
Apologize! Apologize to my glasses!
[03:01] Gin
Seriously, you should
try to understand
[03:04] ---
how hard it is for me to
take care of you all.
[03:07] Gin
Hey, you're sporting some
yummy-looking wings.
[03:10] Shin
They're not wings!
They're greasy glasses!
[03:13] Shin
And they're not greasy!
[03:14] Kag
You're wearing shellfish to be fashionable?!
[03:17] Kag
Are you supposed to be Takeda Kumiko?!
[03:18] Shin
Wait!
[03:19] Shin
These people are so hungry
that they're hallucinating!
[03:22] Kag
Hand that over!
[03:23] Shin
Hey, what are you doing?!
[03:25] Shin
Those are my glasses!
[03:26] Shin
You can't eat them!
[03:27] Shin
Hey!
[03:28] Shin
Why are you grilling them?!
[03:31] Gin
You should try to understand how hard
it is for me to take care of you all.
SIGN Please take me home.
[05:08] Gin
Enough already!
[05:10] Gin
Egg on rice again?!
[05:12] Gin
Why do you waste food like this?!
[05:15] Kag
What food? The fridge was empty.
[05:18] Gin
Your head is empty!
[05:20] Kag
Sadaharu puts up with the meager
servings of cheap food we give him.
[05:24] Kag
Shut up and eat.
[05:26] Gin
Ah, is that so?
[05:27] Gin
Here you go then.
[05:28] Kag
Gin-chan! Sadaharu isn't
your garbage disposal!
[05:31] Kag
And there's no food left
if you refuse to eat that.
[05:34] Gin
Sorry, but unlike the rest
of you, I'm a gourmet.
[05:38] Gin
You animals can have your pet food.
[06:18] A
I-It's so cute!
[06:21] A
What is this?!
[06:22] A
Where did you find it, Captain Okita?!
[06:25] Kon
Hold on, Sogo...
[06:26] Kon
Isn't that the Odd Jobs dog?
[06:29] Oki
I don't know if he was
dumped or if he ran away,
[06:31] ---
but he was urinating in the streets.
[06:32] Kon
Uh, so why did you bring him here?
[06:35] Oki
Oh, you remember how we screwed up
[06:37] ---
the last time we tried to boost
our image with a mascot?
[06:39] Oki
We should give it another try.
[06:41] Oki
We can make some money by dumping him
[06:44] ---
and Hijikata-san at the South Pole
[06:46] Oki
and making the one who
returns alive our mascot.
[06:47] Hiji
That wouldn't be a mascot!
It'd be a scum-cot!
[06:51] Hiji
Give me a break.
[06:52] Hiji
We don't need any symbols
of weakness like mascots.
[06:56] Hiji
Besides, we already have a
mascot in Kondo-san, you fool.
[06:59] B
He's no mascot! He's a shit-cot!
[07:01] Kon
Who was that?! Who
called me Ridley Scott?!
[07:04] Kon
Thank you!
[07:04] Hiji
Nobody had anything
nice to say about you.
[07:06] Hiji
And why do we have to take
in their used goods?
[07:10] Hiji
He'll interfere with our work.
[07:11] Hiji
Get rid of him.
[07:12] A
Vice-Chief, are you telling us to
throw out this adorable creature?!
[07:15] Hiji
Adorable, my ass.
[07:17] ---
I'll have you all commit seppuku
for failing as warriors.
[07:19] A
Then you throw it out!
[07:20] Hiji
Fine, you fools.
[07:30] Hiji
Kondo-san...
[07:31] Hiji
I just remembered that we
don't have any police dogs.
[07:33] A
You commit seppuku!
[07:34] Hiji
Shut up!
[07:35] Hiji
I'm just saying that
we need police dogs!
[07:37] Hiji
There's nothing adorable
about this furball!
[07:40] Hiji
First, we'll run some tests to
see if it's qualified enough!
[07:43] Hiji
And I won't go easy on dogs, dammit!
[07:46] Hiji
Listen up! Police dogs
depend on their noses.
[07:49] Hiji
They need to be able to sniff out
suspects, drugs, and all kinds of stuff.
[07:54] Hiji
So here's a test.
[07:55] Hiji
Half-fat, quarter-fat,
non-cholesterol, non-oil, mustard.
[08:00] Hiji
Can you tell the difference?
[08:01] A
They're all mayonnaise!
[08:04] A
Hey, what are you planning on
using these police dogs for?!
[08:05] A
What kind of crime are
you preparing for?!
[08:07] Hiji
First, identify my favorite type.
[08:09] A
Uh, nobody knows what you
like! And nobody cares!
[08:12] Hiji
Ah, the quarter-fat?
[08:14] Hiji
An excellent choice.
[08:16] Hiji
But right now, I'm in the
mood for some non-oil.
[08:18] A
Your preference changes?!
[08:20] Hiji
But I like your taste.
[08:22] Hiji
Here's your reward.
[08:24] Hiji
Enjoy.
[08:24] A
You just wanted to feed
the dog mayonnaise!
[08:27] Hiji
Don't be shy.
[08:29] Hiji
Hurry up and eat.
[08:31] Hiji
Hurry up.
[08:38] Sa
Yes, there, there.
[08:40] Sa
Honestly, I don't know what happened,
[08:43] Sa
but you should probably make up soon.
[08:46] Sa
I know.
[08:47] Sa
Gin-san isn't the kind of person
who would kick you out.
[08:51] Sa
You probably left because he
was being nasty as usual.
[08:56] Sa
Unfortunately, I won't be
able to keep you here.
[09:00] Sa
You already have a home, after all.
[09:04] Sa
But if you plan on making up soon,
you can stay here until then.
[09:09] Sa
I can't let Gin-san's precious
pet die on the streets.
[09:17] Sa
Stop, that tickles.
[09:19] Sa
I envy you.
[09:21] Sa
Do you do this with
Gin-san all the time?
[09:23] Sa
I wish I could have been
born as Gin-san's pet.
[09:27] Sa
Just kidding.
[09:29] Sa
I'll go make something to eat.
[09:31] Sa
You must be hungry.
[09:32] Sa
Wait here.
[09:40] Sa
The moment I've been waiting
for has finally come!
[09:45] Sa
This is my chance to
become Gin-san's pet!
[09:48] Sa
His white fur will be my wedding dress!
[09:53] Sa
Hold on, Gin-san.
[09:54] Sa
Your cute pet will be coming
back to you soon.
[10:05] Zura
Ah, I see.
[10:07] Zura
It must have been difficult
to have such a lazy owner.
[10:10] Zura
But Sadaharu, I knew that
you would wake up one day.
[10:14] Zura
The spirit of the Joi burns within you.
[10:17] Zura
I knew that it would guide
you to your true leader.
[10:20] Zura
That you would find me.
[10:22] Zura
And that is why
[10:24] Zura
I've been waiting here since
[10:26] ---
that game of Kick the Can
two months ago.
[10:28] Zura
You can't have an episode about
Master Shoyo without me.
[10:33] Zura
I managed to adjust my
schedule so I could squeeze in,
[10:36] Zura
but I didn't expect this to take so long.
[10:39] Zura
I'm an expert at hiding,
[10:41] Zura
but it's been so long
[10:42] ---
that I had to wonder if
the game was already over.
[10:45] Zura
If anyone had even noticed
that I was playing...
[10:49] Zura
I felt like crying for a moment.
[10:51] Zura
Runaway Kotaro tried a
little too hard there.
[10:55] Zura
I caused everyone so much trouble.
[10:57] Zura
Well, everyone's probably been
worried and looking for me.
[11:00] Zura
I should probably head back.
[11:05] Zura
Crap...
[11:06] Zura
After staying in this position for two
months, my body is stiff as a rock!
[11:09] Zura
Zabeth, call for a doctor!
[11:12] Zura
How could this happen?
[11:14] Zura
I don't think I can last long
enough for sensei to arrive.
[11:16] Zura
S-Sadaharu-kun...
[11:17] Zura
I apologize.
[11:19] Zura
I won't be able to keep my promise
to become your owner.
[11:22] Zura
And can you please relay a
message when the doctor comes?
[11:25] Zura
Tell him to charge any taxi or
any other transportation costs
[11:30] Zura
to sensei.
SIGN Please take me home.
[12:02] Shin
Did you see him around here?
[12:03] A
Yeah, it was a really big dog,
so it must have been him.
[12:06] A
He was dragging a little puppy around.
[12:10] Kag
Sadaharu...
[12:13] Kag
Sadaharu, where are you?!
[12:16] Kag
Say something if you're there!
[12:18] Kag
Please come back!
[12:20] Kag
Sadaharu!
[12:39] Shin
What? Work?
[12:41] Gin
Yeah, we finally have a client.
[12:43] Gin
No more eating dog food.
[12:46] Shin
Weren't you supposed to
be looking for Sadaharu
[12:48] Shin
instead of wasting time?
[12:50] Gin
Wasting time? Want me to punch you?
[12:53] Shin
Aren't you worried about him, Gin-san?
[12:55] Shin
Sadaharu hasn't been home in two days.
[12:59] Shin
He was starving when he left,
[13:01] Shin
and we don't know if he's
gotten anything to eat
[13:02] Shin
Sadaharu!
[13:03] ---
or if something's happened to him.
[13:05] Shin
How can you expect us to work?
[13:05] Shin
Come back, Sadaharu!
[13:08] Gin
That's not good, Shinpachi-kun.
[13:09] Gin
You're thinking like a NEET now.
[13:13] Gin
Nothing's happened to him.
[13:15] Shin
Huh?
[13:15] Gin
He left because he
couldn't get any food.
[13:19] Gin
It's that simple.
[13:22] Gin
An animal doesn't understand
the concept of family.
[13:26] Gin
Besides...
[13:28] Gin
I'm not interested in keeping
anyone around who isn't
[13:30] ---
willing to share when times are tough.
[13:32] Gin
Even if he's just an animal.
[13:34] Gin
There you go.
[13:35] Gin
If you like dog food, you can eat
it for the rest of your life.
[13:38] Gin
I'll go make some money and
have a chocolate parfait.
[13:41] Shin
W-Wait, Gin-san!
[13:44] Shin
Gin-san!
SIGN Edo Animal Hospital
[13:48] A
It's a mononoke!
[13:49] A
The dog god Moro has come
to hunt down our patients!
[13:53] B
Scram, mountain dog!
[13:54] B
This is where humans live!
[13:56] B
Mononoke should go back
to the mountains!
[14:02] A
It released something!
[14:04] B
Be careful!
[14:04] B
You'll die if you touch that stuff!
[14:21] Kag
Sadaharu!
SIGN 1 Fourth St.
SIGN 1 Fourth St.
[14:46] Gin
So the owner of this house is dead?
[14:49] B
Yes, he died all alone.
[14:53] B
He kept a lot of dogs, and there were
[14:55] B
many complaints from the neighbors
about the smell and noise.
[14:59] B
There was a relative who liked
dogs and visited occasionally,
[15:03] B
but it appears that they grew distant.
[15:06] C
And the number of dogs was declining.
[15:08] ---
There was only one left when he died.
[15:12] C
When the neighborhood association
cleaned his place,
[15:13] ---
she didn't know what to do
with it, so she threw it out.
[15:16] D
W-Well, it was a mutt, sick and
frail, so nobody wanted it.
[15:22] C
There have been rumors that
he's been wandering around.
[15:26] C
We've been receiving complaints
from various pet owners.
[15:29] C
They're worried it may
get their pets sick.
[15:32] B
So could you catch it and
dispose of it for us?
[15:37] Gin
Is that even necessary? It probably
died already if it was sick.
[15:41] B
I hope so, but if we wait for it to
become a problem, it'll be too late.
[15:45] B
If it's dying anyway, does it matter
if it happens a little sooner?
[15:48] C
Honestly...
[15:49] C
That old man left us a
big mess to clean up.
[15:55] A
What's this huge dog?!
[15:59] Gin
Hey, hey.
[16:01] Gin
This stray's bigger than I was expecting.
[16:04] Gin
It'll take some effort to dispose of it.
[16:07] Gin
You know the puppy they're
talking about, right?
[16:10] Gin
If you turn it over,
I'll let you come home.
[16:13] Gin
The reward will buy us plenty of
food, so everyone will be happy.
[16:17] Gin
Do you see a problem?
[16:22] C
Wait up!
[16:23] B
Odd Jobs, catch that monster!
[16:27] B
Why are you standing there?
Hurry up already!
[16:35] Gin
If you turn it over,
I'll let you come home.
[17:02] Gin
Then the three of us can split this.
[18:56] B
It stinks!
[18:57] D
What's going on?!
[18:58] D
Who would do such a thing?!
[19:00] C
So many fish...
[19:04] Gin
It was our dog.
[19:06] Gin
It looked like he was taking
care of that puppy,
[19:09] Gin
so I tampered with the
food he was bringing it.
[19:13] Gin
Look. See this?
[19:16] Gin
My dog is very bright.
[19:18] Gin
He fed the puppy poisoned
food to do my job for me.
[19:26] Gin
So can you pay up now?
[19:34] Gin
Yo, you awake?
SIGN General Animal Hospital
[19:37] Gin
You were suffering from malnutrition.
[19:39] Gin
They told me I shouldn't have
a pet if I can't feed it.
[19:44] Gin
Although you're the one who
ran off and starved yourself.
[19:48] Gin
But you helped deal
with the puppy for me.
[19:54] Gin
You can eat all you want today.
[20:00] Gin
What?
[20:01] Gin
I thought you might understand
how it feels to be an owner
[20:04] ---
after taking care of that puppy.
[20:06] Gin
Were you hoping for fish tails?
[20:08] Gin
Or is the portion too small,
considering the reward?
[20:14] Gin
Don't blame me.
[20:15] Gin
There were a lot of expenses
associated with this job,
[20:18] Gin
so I used up most of
the money we received.
[20:21] Gin
Besides, the Sakata family always
shares when times are tough.
[20:27] Gin
We share the food
[20:31] Gin
and the pain.
[20:37] Gin
Thanks for sharing.
[20:43] A
Thank you so much!
[20:45] A
You kept Grandpa's dog safe.
[20:47] Shin
Well, you should thank
the big dog inside.
[20:57] Doc
Hold on!
[20:58] Doc
You haven't paid for all the
medicine you fed the puppy!
[21:02] Doc
Hey!
[21:04] Doc
Sakata-san! Wait!
[23:36] Shin
Hold on a sec!
[23:37] Shin
What's this Final Act business?!
[23:39] Shin
This is news to me!
[23:40] Kag
Well, they're probably just fooling
around again with a fake!
[23:44] Gin
Or they're pretending that it's fake.
[23:45] Kag
Or it is fake.
[23:46] Gin
That's what they want you to think.
[23:47] Kag
But it's really fake.
[23:48] Shin
You're not making any sense at all!
SIGN We only lasted half a year this time,
SIGN but thank you for all the support.
SIGN The movie is coming up in July,
SIGN so please continue to support Gintama!!
[23:59] ---
See you sometime...