Season 1

1 - Level 01: Reborn in a Game World!?

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:10] Yellow
    Hero of fate, I need your
    help to rescue the princess.

[00:17] Red
    You're asking me to help you?
[00:18] Red
    Nice, nice!
[00:20] Red
    Princess, no, my future wife,
    I shall come to save you!
[00:27] Red
    Boop.
[00:32] Red
    My name is Light.
[00:34] Red
    I'm a game-loving middle
    schooler like any other.
[00:37] Red
    I got lonely playing by myself,
    so I invited some other gamers, but...
[00:42] Red
    His name is Yomi.
[00:44] Red
    He's, like, two or three
    years younger than me.
[00:51] Red
    I'm Light,
[00:55] Red
    and this is Yomi.
[01:00] Red
    And so our adventure begins.
SIGN    Level 01: Reborn in a Game World!?
[01:52] Red
    That toilet back there didn't have a seat.
[01:54] Red
    Insane.
[01:55] Blue
    Huh? What are you talking about?
[01:56] Yellow
    All right, stop right there.
[01:58] Yellow
    Let's stop walking.
[01:59] Blue
    What do you mean, stop walking?
[02:01] Red
    The princess is waiting for us to rescue her.
[02:03] Red
    What is the problem, Alpha?
[02:05] Red
    Is it a monster?
[02:05] Yellow
    I can't take it anymore.
[02:07] Yellow
    This kid's been talking like
    this ever since he was reborn.
[02:12] Yellow
    I can't stand how annoying he is, can you?
[02:15] Blue
    If you had to ask.
[02:16] Yellow
    See?
[02:17] Yellow
    This son thinks so, too.
[02:19] Yellow
    So...
[02:20] Blue
    Don't call me "son."
[02:22] Yellow
    What, now that we were reborn
    into this fantasy world,
[02:24] Yellow
    you want to talk old-timey, too?
[02:27] Yellow
    Give it a break.
[02:28] Red
    Now is not the time to quarrel!
[02:31] Red
    We must hurry!
[02:32] Yellow
    He's still at it.
[02:33] Yellow
    He hasn't stopped.
[02:35] Yellow
    It's ongoing.
[02:36] Yellow
    Right, son?
[02:38] Blue
    Stop that.
[02:39] Yellow
    So, Light-kun, what were
    you like in the real world?
[02:43] Yellow
    You get home and go straight to gaming?
[02:45] Yellow
    "I hate going outside and being
    actives! It's too tiring."
[02:48] Yellow
    That kind of a kid?
[02:51] Yellow
    Right?
[02:52] Red
    What's your problem?!
[02:54] Red
    Here I am reborn in a new world,
    and you're rooning the mood!
[02:58] Yellow
    Oh, just so you know,
    it's ruining, not rooning.
[03:02] Yellow
    I guess you still are a
    middle school kid, huh?
[03:05] Yellow
    A junior high school student.
[03:08] Red
    Then let me ask: Why is my companion
    in a fantasy world an AI robot?
[03:13] Yellow
    Badass, huh?
[03:13] Red
    No!
[03:14] Red
    And you're totally humanoid, to boot!
[03:16] Red
    Why are you bringing science
    fiction to fantasy?
[03:19] Red
    You're ruining it!
[03:19] Yellow
    What do you want me to do?
[03:21] Yellow
    Go complain to the developers.
[03:25] Red
    You can do that?
[03:26] Yellow
    Of course.
[03:27] Blue
    How?
[03:27] Yellow
    Once you rescue the princess,
    you can go back to the real world.
[03:30] Yellow
    Then you can enter your question into
    the Contact Support form on the website.
SIGN    Contact Support
SIGN    What the hell!?
SIGN    It's a fantasy setting, and the companion's an AI robot... And he's totally a humanoid! Couldn't he at least be a bit more steampunk?!
[03:30] [SONG] Text
    Frequently Asked Questions
SIGN    Q. How many snacks do I get? Q. What if I'm not enjoying the game? Q. My companion's an AI robot? Q. How many hours can I play for at a time? Q. Are there any cheats?
[03:33] Yellow
    Oh, but read the FAQ first.
[03:36] Red
    So I still have to rescue the princess!
[03:38] Yellow
    You're a hero, after all.
[03:40] Red
    Whatever.
[03:41] Red
    We're hunting the next monster.
[03:43] Yellow
    Can we please do it without the fantasy act?
[03:46] Yellow
    All right, let's go.
[03:48] Blue
    What a pain.
SIGN    Today's Princess
[03:58] Pink
    Help me!
[03:59] Pink
    Or so I was about to say,
    but this might not be all that bad.
[04:04] Pink
    I mean, I don't have to
    go to school now, right?
[04:05] Pink
    That's not bad.
[04:06] Pink
    It's freedom.
[04:07] Pink
    I'm captured, and yet I'm free!
[04:11] Pink
    And knowing Dad, he's going to ask one
    of the 500 AI robots in the mansion
[04:15] Pink
    to send a dazzling hero.
[04:18] Pink
    He must be on the way right now.
[04:19] Pink
    Man, my imagination's going wild!
[04:21] Pink
    The hero's gotta be hot.
[04:24] Pink
    Oh, man! I can spend all
    day on this one fantasy!
SIGN    Today's Level Up
[04:33] Yellow
    All right, listen up.
[04:35] Yellow
    We're going to level up now.
[04:37] Red
    Level up?
[04:39] Yellow
    Yeah.
[04:39] Yellow
    It's way too early for you
    two to save the princess.
[04:43] Yellow
    We need you to finish some
    quests and get a bit stronger.
[04:46] Yellow
    Not that I know what kind
    of missions we'll have.
[04:49] Yellow
    Whatever, let's give it a shot.
[04:51] Yellow
    Load data.
[04:57] Red
    You never told me your hand could do that!
[05:00] Yellow
    Looks like it's going to be a monster quest.
[05:02] Yellow
    Just kill the waves of monsters
    as they come, and you'll be good.
[05:05] Red
    This gets me in the mood!
SIGN    A Slime has appeared!
[05:10] Red
    All right, I'm the hero, so I'm up first.
[05:12] Red
    Fantasy Strike!
SIGN    You have defeated the Slime!
[05:16] Red
    That's way too gross.
SIGN    A Sir Slime has appeared!
[05:19] Blue
    Go!
[05:22] Red
    He got away!
[05:23] Blue
    No...
[05:24] Blue
    He's going on a journey.
SIGN    Sir Slime has escaped!
SIGN    An SOSlime has appeared!
[05:28] Red
    Fantasy Strike!
[05:30] Red
    Fantasy Strike!
[05:34] Yellow
    Yo, fantasy boy, cool down.
SIGN    SOSlime used Howl!
[05:37] ---
    Help me!
[05:38] Blue
    Hold up...
SIGN    A Tho*as the Tank Slime has appeared!
[05:40] Blue
    It can't be...
[05:42] Blue
    Look out!
[05:44] Red
    I wouldn't be a hero if I ran away now!
[05:46] Red
    Bring it!
[05:47] Yellow
    This guy's a legit dumbass!
SIGN    Today's Crystal
[05:56] ---
    gd Men!
[06:01] Red
    Hey, Yomi's wand...
[06:03] Yellow
    Oh, this?
[06:04] Yellow
    It shows you a view of another world.
[06:07] Yellow
    Why don't we try talking over it?
[06:11] Blue
    That sounds fun.
[06:16] Yellow
    What is this?
[06:18] A
    What am I supposed to do?
[06:19] Yellow
    What's the gorilla for?
[06:21] A
    It just went right through the gorilla.
[06:23] Yellow
    He's dead.
[06:24] Blue
    We're supposed to speak into this?
[06:26] Yellow
    Who's going first?
[06:27] Yellow
    We got the really passionate...
[06:31] Blue
    Yeah, going forward.
[06:33] Yellow
    Light, you take this.
[06:35] Red
    Me? All right, let's go.
[06:38] Red
    Shit! Shit!
[06:40] Red
    My wife!
[06:41] Red
    She threw out all my figures!
[06:45] Red
    All of them!
[06:50] Blue
    What's with the shout?
[06:53] Red
    I couldn't get in.
[06:54] Yellow
    So...
[06:55] Yellow
    So what figures did she throw out?
[06:57] Red
    Oh, are you sure...
[06:59] Red
    Are you sure you want me to tell you here?
[07:01] Yellow
    Sure, say it.
[07:03] Red
    Should I?
[07:04] Red
    That would be NSFW!
[07:09] Red
    One of those ones you
    can't look at from below!
[07:11] Yellow
    One of those.
[07:12] Blue
    Oh, to be young...
[07:12] Red
    You have something, don't you?
[07:14] Yellow
    Okay, okay.
[07:15] Yellow
    I got the idea.
[07:17] Blue
    The idea?
[07:17] Yellow
    All right, I'm up next.
[07:20] Yellow
    Here I go.
[07:24] Yellow
    You gotta work on your aim!
[07:25] Yellow
    You're not going to hit me
    with that pathetic kamehameha!
[07:30] Yellow
    It's no use defeating me.
[07:32] Yellow
    There are a few of us!
[07:36] Blue
    A few of us?
[07:36] Yellow
    Few of us!
SIGN    Preview
[08:14] Red
    I bet you can't imagine how much I've
    been looking forward to our duel today.
[08:20] Red
    I'm going to derp with all my might.
[08:22] Yellow
    Bring it on.
[08:24] Red
    Next time, on gd Men of Tennis:
SIGN    Light VS Alpha
[08:26] Red
    "Light VS Alpha."
[08:28] Yellow
    Of course not!

2 - Level 02: What's the Princess Like!?

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:44] Red
    At last, we're here!
SIGN    Level 02: What's the Princess Like!?
[00:46] Red
    It was a long journey.
[00:49] Blue
    Really? It doesn't seem
    like it's been that long.
[00:51] Yellow
    I feel like we kind of
    got here pretty casually.
[00:54] Red
    What, are you telling me you can't tell?
[00:57] Red
    This...
[00:57] Yellow
    What?
[01:00] Red
    This...
[01:01] Red
    Oh, come on, we're about to enter a dungeon!
[01:05] Red
    Get in the mood, man!
[01:07] Yellow
    Do we need to do that stuff?
[01:09] Red
    We do!
[01:10] Red
    It's important!
[01:10] Red
    Setting the mood is awesome!
[01:11] Red
    You guys suck!
[01:12] Blue
    I'm starting to feel sorry for him.
[01:14] Blue
    We should play along.
[01:16] Yellow
    Let's find a different way to make it fun.
[01:19] Yellow
    I mean, I'm stuck in this world forever.
[01:22] Yellow
    You guys were born and raised in residential
    towns in Ohmori and Yokohama, right?
[01:26] Yellow
    Would you get excited adventuring there?
[01:29] Yellow
    Well?
[01:31] Blue
    You make it easy to understand.
[01:33] Red
    Damn it...
[01:34] Red
    I have nothing to say.
[01:36] Yellow
    Right?
[01:36] Yellow
    Too true, right? Lawl.
[01:39] Red
    Then what do you recommend?
[01:40] Red
    Give us a suggestion.
[01:41] Yellow
    Then let's fantasize about what
    the princess might be like.
[01:46] Blue
    Huh?
[01:46] Red
    Dude, you don't know what
    the princess looks like?
[01:49] Blue
    I thought you served her.
[01:51] Yellow
    Someone deleted that data.
[01:54] Red
    Seriously?
[01:55] Yellow
    Seriously.
[01:56] Blue
    I do wonder what the
    princess is like, though.
[01:59] Red
    Well, she's obviously a
    girl with Nagoya curls.
[02:02] Red
    And she's good at making acqua pazza.
[02:04] Red
    I'm sure of it.
[02:04] Blue
    What? That's so specific.
[02:06] Red
    And the ponytail she wears
    every now and then...
[02:09] Red
    Hot damn!
[02:10] Yellow
    Oh, I see.
[02:12] Yellow
    Guys like dangly things.
[02:14] Blue
    Huh? Really?
[02:15] Yellow
    Meanwhile, I like Marunouchi-style,
[02:17] Yellow
    soft, endearing beauties with
    light curls and natural makeup.
[02:20] Blue
    Wait, say what?
[02:22] Yellow
    You know, someone who could
    pull off an off-shoulder top.
[02:25] Yellow
    Come on, man.
[02:26] Blue
    I totally don't get it!
[02:27] Yellow
    Quit blabbering.
[02:29] Yellow
    What's your type, son?
[02:32] Blue
    Huh? What?
[02:33] Blue
    Is he really asking my type?
[02:35] Red
    What's your type, Yomi?
[02:37] Blue
    I've never thought about it.
[02:40] Blue
    I think whomever I fall in
    love with would be my type.
[02:46] Blue
    Say something!
[02:47] Red
    All right, we'll come up with a
    type that might be good for you.
[02:50] Yellow
    I know what you like, son.
[02:53] Red
    A studious, school council president-type.
[02:55] Yellow
    But who still hasn't stopped wetting her bed.
[02:59] Yellow
    A family-oriented, old-school
    girl that's not like the others.
[03:02] Red
    And the floor's drenched every time she
    wipes her hand after using the washroom.
[03:07] Yellow
    But then again, she's in the archery club,
    and she's got both brains and brawn.
[03:10] Yellow
    She looks good in a hakama.
[03:12] Blue
    Yeah, that could work for me.
[03:14] Red
    She's even the top arm-wrestler in the world!
[03:16] Blue
    That's way too strong.
[03:17] Red
    She's like an Australopithecus-type
    who's almost human.
[03:21] Red
    Oh, forget it.
[03:23] Red
    You're way too picky, Yomi!
[03:24] ---
    What?!
[03:24] Yellow
    Yup.
[03:25] Yellow
    Let's go.
[03:26] Red
    This is why I hate kids.
[03:29] Blue
    Come on!
[03:30] Blue
    That's not even fair!
[03:32] Blue
    That's not my type!
SIGN    Today's Princess
[03:36] ---
    gd Men.
[03:41] Pink
    I'm going to start a blog.
[03:44] Pink
    You only live once.
[03:45] Pink
    You gotta keep a record if you're ever
    confined. It doesn't happen every day.
[03:49] Pink
    I'm actually dying to post photogenic
    photos of myself on Instagram, but...
[03:56] Pink
    There's nothing photogenic here.
[03:58] Pink
    Like, metal, stone, metal...
[04:00] Pink
    Seriously, they've got such bad taste!
[04:02] Pink
    Photogenify!
[04:03] Pink
    Photogenericy!
[04:04] Pink
    Wait, what even does "photogenic" mean?
[04:07] Pink
    I've been saying it without even knowing?
[04:10] Pink
    That's hilarious!
[04:11] Pink
    I know what "photo" means,
    but what the heck is "genic"?
SIGN    Today's Crystal
[04:19] ---
    gd Men!
[04:23] Blue
    The wand's glowing again.
[04:25] Red
    Let's have some fun again, then.
[04:27] Yellow
    Sweet.
[04:29] Yellow
    What is this creature?
[04:30] Red
    Damn.
[04:31] Red
    It's legit dancing.
[04:33] Yellow
    It looks strong.
[04:33] Yellow
    That was fast.
[04:34] Red
    So short.
[04:35] Blue
    That was a blink.
[04:37] Yellow
    But being simple makes it easy, in a way.
[04:41] Blue
    Seriously?
[04:42] Red
    This is a test of your spontaneity.
[04:43] Yellow
    Oh, I know.
[04:44] Red
    Do you have one, Alfa?
[04:47] Yellow
    Alfa's got one.
[04:48] Red
    Bring it!
[04:48] Yellow
    This is a cool one.
[04:49] Yellow
    All right.
[04:50] Yellow
    Here we go.
[04:53] A
    Yo, Isono, let's play baseball!
[04:55] B
    Guts-oniichan's not here right now.
[04:57] A
    Oh.
[05:00] Red
    Dude...
[05:00] Blue
    Wait, those are balls?
[05:01] Red
    Are you okay?
[05:04] Yellow
    Dunno.
[05:05] Blue
    So those are balls?
[05:06] Red
    Okay, so I have an idea.
[05:10] Red
    Can I?
[05:11] Yellow
    Sure.
[05:11] Yellow
    I'm not afraid of anything anymore.
[05:13] Yellow
    Go for it.
[05:15] Red
    Look!
[05:16] Red
    It's the Kobold Lord!
[05:18] Red
    Starburst Stream!
[05:23] Yellow
    You played your own character.
[05:25] Red
    The enemy kind of reminded me of it, so...
[05:26] Blue
    Oh, I see.
[05:28] Yellow
    Now that you mention it...
[05:29] Red
    Yeah.
[05:30] Yellow
    Yeah, it's from the very beginning.
[05:32] Red
    Yeah.
[05:32] Red
    I don't know if I'm allowed to name
    the reference, but Episode 2.
[05:34] Red
    He fights it with the waifu.
[05:39] Yellow
    I don't even care anymore.
[05:41] Yellow
    Okay, Yomi, ready?
[05:42] Blue
    Hang on.
[05:44] Red
    Anything goes now.
[05:46] Red
    We might have to do a retake, though.
[05:49] Blue
    Okay, then, here I go.
[05:51] Yellow
    Go for it.
[05:53] Blue
    Right hand up!
[05:54] Blue
    Right hand up!
[05:55] Blue
    Right hand up!
[05:55] Blue
    Right hand down!
[05:58] Red
    Seriously?
[06:00] Red
    That's cheap, Yomi.
[06:02] Yellow
    Dude, you're taking advantage
    of your character.
[06:08] Blue
    Next.
[06:12] Yellow
    I know this.
[06:14] Red
    They're so slow.
[06:15] Yellow
    No, that one was too simple.
[06:17] Yellow
    I don't know what to do.
[06:18] Red
    I know already.
[06:20] Red
    I'd rather get this over with.
[06:23] Yellow
    All right, Light, go for it.
[06:24] Red
    All right.
[06:27] Red
    No running, please!
[06:29] Red
    Please walk when you're inside the venue!
[06:34] Red
    Right?
[06:35] Red
    You know, like, they do that kind of
    thing a lot at that place in Makuhari.
[06:40] Yellow
    Gotcha.
[06:40] Yellow
    Okay, I'll go next.
[06:43] Yellow
    Hurry, hurry!
[06:44] Yellow
    That way!
[06:46] Yellow
    They still have the Nintendo Switch in stock!
[06:48] Red
    Wait a second.
[06:49] Red
    That's not safe.
[06:50] Red
    That's really not safe.
[06:52] Yellow
    They're probably going to bleep that one.
[06:55] Blue
    They're so hard to find.
[06:56] Yellow
    They are.
[06:58] Blue
    Okay, here I go.
[07:01] Blue
    Oh, this is *** from when
    Mori-kun was around.
[07:07] Red
    Dude!
[07:09] Blue
    That one's definitely out!
[07:11] Yellow
    Man...
[07:14] Yellow
    To be honest, I have no idea what you're
    talking about, coming from this world.
[07:16] Blue
    Yeah, okay...
[07:19] Yellow
    All right, here I go.
[07:23] Yellow
    Damn it, Mom, I told you to
    wake me up in the morning!
[07:28] Red
    Damn.
[07:28] Blue
    And it was a group.
[07:28] Red
    A what-tuplets?
[07:30] Yellow
    Well, um...
[07:31] Blue
    Six?
[07:31] Blue
    Sextuplets?
[07:32] Red
    Sextuplets?
[07:34] Blue
    Somethingmatsu-san.
[07:35] Yellow
    Yeah.
[07:35] Yellow
    Whatchamatsu-san.
[07:37] Yellow
    I should really level up a bit.
[07:40] Blue
    Level up in what?
SIGN    Preview
[08:15] Yellow
    I wonder, which of you will
    be able to satisfy me?
[08:17] Red
    I'll satisfy you for sure!
[08:19] Blue
    Fine! Bring on the fight!
[08:21] Blue
    Don't underestimate a kid!
SIGN    Next time, Third Skate:
SIGN    Light is Eros, Eros is Yomi!?
SIGN    The Third Skate
    Light is Eros, Eros is Yomi!?
    gd Men On Ice
SIGN    gd Men On Ice.
[08:28] Blue
    Of course not!

3 - Level 03: The Job Assignment Chamber

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Sign
    
[00:44] Light
    How about an explanation, Alfa?
SIGN    Level 03: The Job Assignment Chamber
[00:47] Yomi
    Where are we? And isn't it kind of creepy?
[00:49] Alfa
    Have you boys ever had
    a job interview before?
[00:53] Yomi
    What are you talking about?
[00:54] Light
    Hell no! That's not gonna happen
    for like, a million years.
[00:56] Alfa
    You think it's in the distant future,
    but it'll be before you know it.
[01:00] Alfa
    Life is short, understand?
    Like they say, time is money.
[01:04] Alfa
    It says here that in middle-school you
[01:06] Alfa
    "crossed dimensions to enter
    the world of a video game"?
[01:09] Alfa
    I'm not really clear here,
    what exactly were you doing?
[01:13] Alfa
    ...What would you do if someone asked that?
[01:14] Light
    Uh, well all of a sudden I
    noticed I was in another world,
[01:17] Light
    and this android named Alfa was my guide....
[01:19] Light
    I became a hero, and then—
[01:21] Alfa
    Teenage delusions, at your age? Rejected!
[01:24] Yomi
    Yeah, that makes sense.
[01:25] Light
    What am I supposed to say?!
    That's what happened!
[01:28] Light
    And what's that got to do
    with this place, anyway!?
[01:30] Alfa
    A lot, actually!
[01:32] Yomi
    Use your inside voice.
[01:33] Alfa
    Interviews are supposed to be a
    ritual that reduces mismatches
[01:36] Alfa
    between employers and employees in
    order to ensure higher productivity!
[01:41] Alfa
    So what we're going to do
    is check the two of you
[01:44] Alfa
    to make sure you've got a compatible job—
[01:46] Alfa
    That's right, this is the
    Job Assignment Chamber!
[01:50] Light
    Job assignment?!
[01:52] Light
    Finding out what job is best for me?!
[01:54] Yomi
    Whatever that is, it sounds
    like a pain in the butt.
[01:58] Yomi
    Whoa, spooky.
[02:00] Light
    Th-This thing is gonna do the assignments...?
[02:02] Alfa
    That's right.
    Now, mind its gracious wisdom...
[02:06] Idol
    Do you understand why I am
    in the form of a statue?
[02:09] Light
    What a shrill voice!
[02:11] Idol
    The word "idol" comes from
    an object of worship...
[02:15] Idol
    That which is sought out by people,
    and and receives their devotion.
[02:19] Idol
    Which is often depicted in a statue...
    an idol, in other words!
[02:23] Idol
    Remember that.
[02:26] Idol
    Your job is wizard!
[02:29] Alfa
    Good for you! A perfect fit.
[02:32] Light
    Wait, who cares?!
[02:33] Light
    Why change the subject?!
    What happened to idols?!
[02:36] Idol
    Yes, and your job...
[02:38] Idol
    Yours is...
[02:40] Idol
    Y'know when you have people
    helping you move...
[02:42] Idol
    And there's the guy who's driving...
[02:44] Idol
    You're the guy next to him.
[02:47] Yomi
    Good for you, perfect fit.
[02:48] Light
    Screw that! You gotta be kidding me!
[02:50] Light
    There's swordsman, and soldier,
    and warrior, and tank, and spearmen!
[02:54] Light
    How'd I end up as "guy next
    to the guy from the movers"?!
[02:56] Yomi
    Don't feel so bad!
[02:58] Yomi
    For gear, you could use a cardboard
    sword, and duct tape for a whip.
SIGN    Sword
[03:01] Alfa
    Yeah, good point!
[03:02] Alfa
    With a baseball cap for a helmet
    and a polo shirt for armor!
[03:05] Yomi
    Good for you.
[03:06] Light
    Please stop!
SIGN    Today's Princess
[03:11] Trio
    gd Men.
[03:16] Princess
    Oh, my! The hero is here!
[03:19] Princess
    Aww...
[03:25] Princess
    Hero?
[03:29] Princess
    Huh— What? I got faked out?
[03:32] Princess
    Hey, screw you! What was that sound, then?
[03:35] Princess
    Did we really need that? What even made it?
[03:37] Princess
    I went "Oh, my!" for no good
    reason. So embarrassed!
[03:40] Princess
    Ugh, Hero, what's taking so long?
[03:43] Princess
    You had better say something
[03:45] Princess
    that'll stick with me for the rest of
    my life, after making me wait so long!
[03:48] Princess
    What's it gonna be?!
    What will you say, my hero?!
[03:51] Princess
    Huh?!
[03:54] Princess
    "Sorry. I left you waiting.
    You must've been so lonely."
[03:58] Princess
    "But I'm glad you're all right."
[04:00] Princess
    "Now I can love you longer
    than I ever made you wait."
[04:05] Princess
    "A life sentence I will
    spend all my days serving."
[04:10] Princess
    A life sentence?! Wow, so someone
    else is locked up this time!
[04:13] Princess
    Y'know what I mean?!
SIGN    Today's leveling up
[04:20] Trio
    gd Men!
[04:24] Alfa
    All right, time to level up again.
[04:26] Yomi
    That again?
[04:27] Light
    Oh, I'm fired up now!
[04:29] Alfa
    Loading data.
[04:35] Alfa
    Oh, looks like this time we're
    supposed to imagine our ideal town.
[04:39] Yomi
    Ideal town?
[04:40] Alfa
    Whatever you imagine will appear,
    so take a second to think about it.
[04:43] Light
    Sounds like fun to me!
[04:45] Alfa
    You first, then, Light.
[04:52] Light
    Let me show you guys around my town!
[04:54] Light
    Follow me!
[04:56] Light
    Come on, folks, clear the road!
[04:59] Yomi
    Whoa, he's being treated
    like a legendary hero.
[05:02] Light
    Oh, man, it's rough being a hero!
[05:06] Yomi
    He's starting to sound like
    a newb who's RPing a hero...
[05:08] Light
    Guess we'll drop by the weapon shop!
[05:12] Yomi
    A flying weapon store?
[05:14] Light
    Which is where we'll find
    the holy sword, Excalibur!
[05:17] Light
    Which I will pull!
[05:18] Light
    Which will make an elf babe fall for me!
[05:20] Light
    I am so bad!
[05:23] Light
    "You are the legendary hero."
[05:31] Alfa
    This isn't all-ages appropriate.
[05:33] Yomi
    Now it's looking like the fantasy
    diary of a middle-schooler.
[05:36] Light
    I guess we'll rest at the inn tonight!
[05:39] Alfa
    And the inn is inside the
    world tree, Yggdrasil?
[05:42] Yomi
    Every part of this is bigger
    than it needs to be.
[05:44] Light
    The inn's bevvy of cute
    maids lined up in a row!
[05:48] Maids
    Welcome home, sir hero!
[05:50] Yomi
    Is this supposed to be Akihabara?
[05:53] Alfa
    So, which is your favorite, Light?
[05:56] Light
    Among them is the princess!
[05:59] Alfa
    The RPing newb has gotten so bad
    he's dragged the princess into it!
[06:03] Light
    "Oh... my beloved hero..."
[06:07] Light
    "You've come... to take me away."
[06:10] Light
    Yeah! I mean, these dudes
    were slowing me down,
[06:14] Light
    so I'm sorry if I'm a bit late!
[06:18] Light
    "My hero...!"
[06:20] Light
    Princess...
[06:22] Light
    Glomp!
[06:23] Alfa
    Not appropriate— Ow!
[06:26] Yomi
    What a simpleton.
[06:27] Light
    But then, the dark lord suddenly appears!
[06:29] Alfa
    Does he really need to?!
[06:31] Light
    "Please forgive me, hero!"
[06:34] Light
    Yes, I shall!
[06:35] Alfa
    No, no no no...
[06:37] Yomi
    You're trying to end the
    whole story in this one town!
[06:39] Alfa
    You're totally delusional!
[06:44] Light
    You show us your ideal town then, Yomi.
[06:47] Yomi
    Okay.
[06:51] Yomi
    My morning starts early...
[06:53] Light
    The inn first, huh?
[06:55] Yomi
    After exiting my fluffy éclair bed...
[06:58] Light
    This is already weird!
[07:00] Yomi
    I stretch out a bit,
[07:02] Yomi
    and head to the bathroom to wash my face.
[07:04] Light
    Wait, why is the faucet
    turned on with a macaron!?
[07:07] Alfa
    And instead of water there's Bavarian cream!
[07:09] Light
    And now that I get a better look,
    his tooth brush is a piece of baumkuchen?!
[07:11] Light
    Can you clean anything with that?!
[07:12] Alfa
    With chocolate mousse for toothpaste...
[07:14] Light
    That's way too sweet!
[07:15] Yomi
    After brushing my teeth,
    I take a jelly bean shower...
[07:19] Alfa
    Hang on, his shampoo says "panna cotta!"
SIGN    Panna
    Cotta
[07:22] Light
    And he's keeping the shampoo
    of his eyes with a roll cake?!
[07:24] Yomi
    And then, after a nice leisurely
    a melon soda float bath...
[07:27] Light
    Wouldn't that be cold!?
[07:28] Yomi
    bathed in gentle morning sun,
    I set about to breakfast.
[07:32] Light
    It's all ice cream!
[07:33] Alfa
    He really is one of those
    "sweets shota" types.
[07:35] Light
    And is this even raising our level?
[07:37] Alfa
    I'unno.
SIGN    Preview
[08:12] Light
    Please don't die, Alfauchi!
SIGN    Preview
[08:15] Light
    If you lose, what happens to your
    promise with the King and the Princess?
[08:20] Light
    You still have life points left.
    If you can hang on, you'll defeat gdik!
[08:24] Light
    Next time: Alfauchi Dies.
SIGN    Next Time
SIGN    Alfauchi Dies
[08:26] Light
    gdMen, standby!
[08:27] Alfa
    Yeah, nothing like that's happening.

4 - Level 04: Wait for Us! Holy Jam! (Part 1)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:44] Yomi
    Light, you are so self-centered!
SIGN    Level 04: Wait for Us! Holy Jam! (Part 1)
[00:47] Light
    Say what?!
[00:48] Alfa
    Nailed it, lawl.
[00:49] Light
    Come on, it's like, let's say
    that I found some money,
[00:51] Light
    but then some guy sees me picking it up,
[00:53] Light
    am I supposed to believe
    the it belongs to him?!
[00:55] Light
    The bottom line is that I was
    the one who picked it up!
[00:57] Light
    Man, the world is so screwed up lately!
[01:00] Yomi
    Could you not act like some tragic
    hero and change the subject?!
[01:04] Alfa
    Now, now, my boy, Light, let's all calm down.
[01:07] Alfa
    Didn't I tell you two we've got
    an important mission coming up?
[01:10] Light
    Is it seriously even here, this whatever jam you were talking about?
[01:14] Yomi
    It's a gem!
[01:15] Yomi
    An item for powering up
    our weapons, the holy gem!
[01:17] Alfa
    You bet your butt it is.
[01:19] Alfa
    The thing is, this place
    is littered in traps,
[01:21] Alfa
    so teamwork between the three of us is
    gonna be crucial to pulling this off.
[01:24] Alfa
    You'll wanna remember that,
    there will be a test.
[01:28] Light
    Weapon... power up?!
[01:31] Light
    Oh I'm bad. So bad.
[01:33] Light
    Sooo bad am I.
[01:35] Yomi
    Simmer down, there.
[01:37] Yomi
    I'm trying to say, no more
    talking about who found
[01:40] Yomi
    the item first or who picked it up,
[01:43] Yomi
    let's just work on this together, okay?
[01:44] Light
    Yeah, my bad for losing
    my cool earlier, Yomi.
[01:47] Light
    That wraps that up, let's get moving.
[01:51] Light
    Follow me, you two!
[01:52] Alfa
    Someone changed their tune fast!
SIGN    Today's Princess
[01:56] Trio
    gd Men.
[02:02] Princess
    So like, say the hero shows up,
[02:04] Princess
    exactly how old is he going to be?
[02:07] Princess
    On the younger side, like, teens or twenties?
[02:10] Princess
    And younger side? What does that even mean?
[02:12] Princess
    Teens through twenties, right?
[02:15] Princess
    Isn't that range way too big?
[02:17] Princess
    Late twenties, depending on the person,
    could practically be an old man!
[02:20] Princess
    What if he has old man smell?!
    No, no, no way!
[02:23] Princess
    I mean, he might even have kids!
[02:26] Princess
    A hero with kids?!
[02:29] Princess
    Screw that! No way!
    I can't, can't, can't even!
[02:32] Princess
    Where do you get off, living your whole
    life before you show up to save me?!
[02:35] Princess
    And what then, so you're just rescuing
    me because Papa told you to,
[02:38] Princess
    like it's your freaking job?
    Just business as usual?
[02:41] Princess
    What're you gonna use the reward for?
[02:42] Princess
    "Why, I'll use it for my family's sake."
[02:44] Princess
    Oh, hell no! None of that!
[02:47] Princess
    No heroes in their late twenties!
SIGN    Mine Cart Trial
[02:52] Trio
    gd Men!
[03:10] Yomi
    Where are we?!
[03:11] Alfa
    From here on, even I'm not sure.
[03:23] Light
    What is this supposed to be?
SIGN    Add dialog to complete it.
[03:25] Light
    "Add dialog to complete it."
[03:28] Yomi
    Hey, look.
[03:30] Comic 1 Signs{will be repeated; so repeat as necessary}
    P-Please go out with me.
[03:30] Yomi
    The fourth picture doesn't have any dialog.
[03:30] Panel 2
    I've liked you all this time,
    let's go out!
[03:30] Panel 2
    You should date me.
SIGN    I like you! I love you! Go out with me! Quit trying to get ahead. Choose me. Don't push! Now it's my turn. Let's get married! Look over here! I love you! Let's get something to eat. Let's go to the beach. Be my wife! I've got 300,000,00 yen for you. I'll take care of you.
[03:34] Alfa
    All right, I get it,
[03:36] Alfa
    for now let's just test it out.
[03:39] Hikaru
    Go for it!
[03:39] Alfa
    Here comes Alfa.
[03:40] Comic 1 Signs{will be repeated; so repeat as necessary}
    P-please go out with me.
[03:42] Alfa
    P-Please go out with me.
[03:44] Panel 2
    I've liked you all this time, let's go out!
[03:44] Panel 2
    You should date me.
[03:45] Alfa
    I've liked you all this time, let's go out!
[03:46] Alfa
    You should date me.
SIGN    I like you! I love you! Go out with me! Quit trying to get ahead. Choose me. Don't push! Now it's my turn. Let's get married! Look over here! I love you! Let's get something to eat. Let's go to the beach. Be my wife! I've got 300,000,00 yen for you. I'll take care of you.
[03:47] Alfa
    Me, too! Me, too! Me, too!
[03:50] Alfa
    I have to hang out with all these people?
[03:55] Yomi
    So, she doesn't think she can do it, or...?
[03:57] Alfa
    Well, she's confusing going
    out with hanging out...
[04:01] Light
    Hanging out.
[04:01] Yomi
    What?
[04:01] Alfa
    Hanging out.
[04:03] Light
    You mean like... letting it all hang out?
[04:05] Alfa
    No, it's more about the ambiguity...
[04:07] Light
    Oh, I see!
[04:08] Alfa
    Just a slight tweak to...
[04:09] Alfa
    She confuses go out with
    just socializing in general.
[04:09] Light
    Hang out and go out...
[04:09] Yomi
    And the details are left to the imagination?
[04:11] Alfa
    That's how she takes it,
    by confusing the two concepts.
[04:14] Yomi
    I get it now.
[04:15] Alfa
    And next...
[04:16] Yomi
    Oh, okay, here I go.
[04:17] Alfa
    Yomi?
[04:18] Comic 1 Signs{will be repeated; so repeat as necessary}
    P-Please go out with me.
[04:19] Yomi
    P-Please go out with me.
[04:22] Yomi
    I've liked you all this time, let's go out!
[04:22] Panel 2
    I've liked you all this time, let's go out!
[04:22] Panel 2
    You should date me.
[04:23] Yomi
    You should date me.
[04:25] Yomi
    Me, too!
SIGN    I like you! I love you! Go out with me! Quit trying to get ahead. Choose me. Don't push! Now it's my turn. Let's get married! Look over here! I love you! Let's get something to eat. Let's go to the beach. Be my wife! I've got 300,000,00 yen for you. I'll take care of you.
[04:25] Yomi
    Let's go to the beach.
[04:26] Yomi
    I've got 300,000,00 yen for you.
[04:29] Yomi
    I made the right move, killing all
    the other women in the world...
[04:34] Alfa
    Oh, oh man, oh man...
[04:35] Yomi
    Pretty good, right?
[04:36] Yomi
    Scary right?
[04:36] Alfa
    That got dark really fast.
[04:37] Yomi
    I added a bit of horror to it.
[04:38] Light
    I see...
[04:39] Alfa
    It really reflects the
    darkness in your heart.
[04:41] Yomi
    Does it?
[04:42] Alfa
    Okay...
[04:44] Light
    Wait, me?
[04:46] Light
    All right, here I go!
[04:46] Alfa
    That's you.
[04:47] Comic 1 Signs{will be repeated; so repeat as necessary}
    P-Please go out with me.
[04:47] Light
    P-please go out with me.
[04:50] Light
    I've liked you all this time, let's go out!
[04:50] Panel 2
    I've liked you all this time, let's go out!
[04:50] Panel 2
    You should date me.
[04:52] Light
    You should date me.
SIGN    I like you! I love you! Go out with me! Quit trying to get ahead. Choose me. Don't push! Now it's my turn. Let's get married! Look over here! I love you! Let's get something to eat. Let's go to the beach. Be my wife! I've got 300,000,00 yen for you. I'll take care of you.
[04:53] Light
    I like you!
[04:54] Light
    I like you!
[04:55] Light
    I love you!
[04:58] Light
    I'm... getting w**...
[05:04] Alfa
    What is, exactly?
[05:04] Yomi
    Oh, I see.
[05:05] Light
    What?
[05:06] Light
    Her you-know-what.
[05:06] Yomi
    I guess if that many people
    confess to you at once...
[05:11] Alfa
    Look, the door!
[05:12] Yomi
    Hey, it's open! All right!
[05:12] Light
    It's open! Yeah!
[05:19] Light
    Look, there it is.
[05:21] Light
    Here we go again.
SIGN    Rrrrumble
SIGN    Skreeeeeeee
SIGN    Pow
[05:30] Alfa
    I see...
[05:32] Alfa
    All right, let's get this over with.
[05:33] Light
    Yeah!
[05:33] Alfa
    I'll go first!
[05:34] Alfa
    Rumble!
[05:38] Alfa
    Skreee!
[05:40] Alfa
    Pow!
[05:43] Alfa
    Let's all be heroes!
    You get paid 300 yen an hour!
[05:49] Yomi
    So, then what?
[05:50] Light
    Superheros get paid by the hour...?
[05:51] Yomi
    They're on wages.
[05:53] Alfa
    It's a rough world out there.
[05:54] Alfa
    Even superheroes have to make a living.
[05:54] Light
    Seriously...?
[05:56] Light
    Man, this jam stuff is harsh!
[05:59] Yomi
    You think they get insurance?
[06:00] Alfa
    There's probably superhero insurance.
[06:02] Light
    I mean, he flies headfirst everywhere.
[06:05] Light
    Can you imagine how nutso
    his premium must be?
[06:08] Alfa
    You think that face is
    particularly expensive?
[06:10] Light
    Hell yeah, man, it's full of anko paste!
[06:13] Alfa
    You've got a point, that's some
    odd cost-performance ratio there.
[06:14] Light
    Uh, so what now?
[06:17] Yomi
    Who goes next?
[06:18] Light
    Next...
[06:19] Light
    I guess me!
[06:21] Alfa
    Take care of it.
[06:22] Light
    Rrrrruuuuummmble!
[06:25] Light
    Skkkkrrrrrreeeeeeeee!
[06:29] Light
    Powww!
[06:31] Light
    I am Anpanman!
[06:37] Light
    He looks just like him...
[06:38] Yomi
    That's not the right voice!
[06:41] Light
    I mean, he looks like him!
[06:42] Light
    And a bit like the blue tanuki, too...
[06:44] Light
    Wait, no, he's a cat.
[06:45] Yomi
    Yeah, careful there,
    don't tick the wrong people off.
[06:48] Light
    And that blue cat likes anko paste, too!
[06:51] Alfa
    Good point.
[06:52] Yomi
    I see.
[06:53] Alfa
    If anything, that turns this
    into a dream crossover.
[06:55] Yomi
    Amazing. I've never seen that before.
[06:56] Yomi
    I'd actually like to, even.
[06:58] Yomi
    All righty...
[06:59] Yomi
    Yomi's turn?
[07:00] Alfa
    Yeah, given the flow.
[07:02] Yomi
    Okay...
[07:03] Yomi
    Here I go.
[07:04] Alfa
    Right.
[07:05] ---
    Uraaagh!
[07:08] ---
    Zuwaaah!
[07:11] ---
    Zehaaah!
[07:14] Yomi
    I wanna hit more people!
[07:19] Alfa
    Wait, what about the first
    and second panel, then?
[07:22] Yomi
    I guess it's not really connected to those.
[07:26] Alfa
    You literally just spoke your mind!
[07:32] Light
    All right!
[07:33] Yomi
    It's open!
[07:37] Light
    Wait for us! Holy jam!
SIGN    Preview
[08:18] Alfaizumi
    What was with Light today...?
[08:23] Alfaizumi
    Princess, Princess, Princess...
SIGN    NEXT RIDE To Recruit More Members
[08:28] Light
    Not gonna happen!

5 - Level 05: Wait for Us! Holy Jam! (Part 2)

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Sign
    
SIGN    Level 05: Wait for Us! Holy Jam! (Part 2)
[00:52] Yomi
    Another dead end.
SIGN    Hell Girl
[00:54] Light
    Huh? "What's the opposite?"
[00:54] [SONG] Sign
    What's the opposite?
[00:56] Light
    What's that supposed to mean?
SIGN    Hell Girl
[00:58] Yomi
    It says "Hell Girl" on the wall.
[01:01] Yomi
    Maybe we're supposed to say the opposite?
[01:04] Alfa
    Maybe...
[01:05] Alfa
    Let me give it a try.
SIGN    Hell Girl
[01:07] Alfa
    "Girl Hell."
[01:10] Yomi
    Nothing happened.
[01:11] Alfa
    Huh, I guess that's not it...
[01:15] Light
    Got it! Right here! Here goes Light!
SIGN    Hell Girl
[01:18] Light
    Lrig Lleh!
[01:21] Yomi
    Nothing happened...
[01:23] Light
    I almost bit my tongue!
    And it still didn't work?
[01:27] Yomi
    Oh, I'll try!
SIGN    Hell Girl
[01:30] Yomi
    "Heaven Old Lady!"
[01:33] Yomi
    Yes! It opened!
[01:35] Alfa
    All right, Yomi, you be the
    one to try first next time.
[01:41] Yomi
    Well...
SIGN    Encouragement of Climb
[01:43] Light
    Okay, what next?
[01:45] Yomi
    "Encouragement of Climb"...
[01:46] Alfa
    Encouragement?
[01:47] Light
    Encouragement of Climb?
[01:48] Yomi
    All right, got it!
[01:49] Alfa
    All right.
SIGN    Encouragement of Climb
[01:50] Yomi
    "Go back to the ocean!"
[01:53] Alfa
    That hurt my feelings for some reason.
[01:56] Yomi
    Well, it's got the same outdoorsy feel...
[01:58] Alfa
    The mountains were calling for them...
    Okay, I've got it.
SIGN    Encouragement of Climb
[02:01] Alfa
    "I can hear the ocean."
[02:03] Yomi
    Wow, pretty! That was a poetic one.
[02:05] Alfa
    That's the name of a movie, too.
[02:08] Light
    Got one!
[02:09] Alfa
    Okay.
SIGN    Encouragement of Climb
[02:09] Light
    "I want to become the ocean."
[02:13] Alfa
    So ambitious...
[02:13] Yomi
    It's always something
    to do with the sea, huh?
[02:15] Yomi
    Very aquatic.
[02:15] Alfa
    That one tickles the imagination.
[02:18] Yomi
    True.
[02:19] Yomi
    Okay, got one.
[02:20] ---
    Okay.
SIGN    Encouragement of Climb
[02:21] Yomi
    "Sazae-san."
[02:29] Yomi
    Well?
[02:30] Alfa
    That was a good one...
[02:36] Alfa
    It opened!
[02:37] Yomi
    All right!
[02:38] Light
    Hell yeah, let's do it! Bring it on!
[02:39] Alfa
    Here we go, boys!
[02:41] Alfa
    Come on come on come on!
[02:42] Alfa
    Here it is!
SIGN    I did not cross that line.
[02:43] Yomi
    Next is...
[02:44] Trio
    I did not cross that line.
[02:48] Light
    Okay, me!
[02:48] ---
    'Kay.
SIGN    I did not cross that line.
[02:51] Light
    "I was unable to control my libido."
[02:53] Alfa
    I see, makes sense.
[02:54] Yomi
    I've heard that one before.
[02:55] Yomi
    Okay, me...
SIGN    I did not cross that line.
[02:57] Yomi
    "Yes, I did it. And?"
[02:59] Alfa
    The defiant approach...
[03:02] Alfa
    Right.
[03:02] Alfa
    Okay, me!
[03:03] Yomi
    Go for it.
SIGN    I did not cross that line.
[03:04] Alfa
    "Yes, there was penetration. And?"
[03:09] Light
    Yeah, okay...
[03:10] Alfa
    Go.
SIGN    I did not cross that line.
[03:12] Light
    "But I did it anyway."
[03:16] Yomi
    And that was such a good movie...
[03:19] Yomi
    It was a nice story.
[03:22] Light
    Got another!
[03:22] Alfa
    Okay.
SIGN    I did not cross that line.
[03:23] Light
    "I ****** it."
[03:25] Alfa
    That might be crossing the line!
[03:26] Alfa
    Don't you think?
[03:27] Yomi
    Maybe.
[03:28] Alfa
    I do...
[03:30] Alfa
    Got one.
[03:31] Yomi
    Okay.
SIGN    I did not cross that line.
[03:32] Alfa
    "I thought you said this
    was only about your body."
[03:35] Yomi
    Who are you talking to?
[03:37] Yomi
    Who was that intended for?
[03:39] Light
    Okay, here.
[03:40] ---
    Go.
SIGN    I did not cross that line.
[03:41] Light
    "I won't do anything.
    I won't do anything at all..."
[03:47] Yomi
    That's kinda...
[03:48] Alfa
    Actions and words not matching.
[03:50] Yomi
    When you say it with any
    kind of anxiousness,
[03:52] Yomi
    it's super obvious you're lying.
[03:54] Yomi
    Okay, right here!
[03:55] ---
    'Kay.
SIGN    I did not cross that line.
[03:56] Yomi
    "I was doing it before I
    realized what was happening."
[03:59] Light
    So dangerous!
[04:01] Alfa
    It's open, look it's open.
[04:03] Yomi
    It is! All right!
[04:05] Yomi
    Yay!
[04:06] Alfa
    That was kinda fun...
SIGN    Today's Princess
[04:16] Trio
    gd Men.
[04:23] Princess
    170, huh...
[04:28] Princess
    But over 170 cm would be nice.
[04:31] Princess
    I don't want the hero to be short...
[04:33] Princess
    But maybe it's okay if he's
    super duper hot in exchange?
[04:36] Princess
    That'd be okay!
[04:38] Princess
    If you're hot enough, it doesn't
    matter how short you are...
SIGN    Suffering! A Real Crane Game
[04:48] Trio
    gd Men.
[04:54] Light
    Hey, Yomi, Alfa, where
    you at?! You guys okay?
[04:59] Yomi
    Egomaniac!
[05:02] Alfa
    Dippy middle schooler!
[05:04] Light
    Quit using echoes to diss me!
[05:07] Light
    Where the hell are we?
[05:17] Alfa
    Hey, Light, do you see the key down there?
[05:21] Alfa
    That's the key to open the room
    where our item is... is...
[05:26] Light
    Quit providing your own echo!
    It's making my ear ring!
[05:29] Alfa
    Yomi and I will grab the key,
[05:32] Alfa
    use those controls to
    lower us... us... us...
[05:37] Light
    So it falls on me, huh?
[05:40] Light
    From my local arcade to
    specialty shops of Akihabara!
[05:41] Light
    I'm so good I get banned wherever I go!
[05:43] Light
    Yes! It is I, the crane gamer
    with the godly touch, Asura!
SIGN    Crane Gamer Asura
[05:48] Yomi
    Whew, that's lame.
[05:49] Alfa
    Congrats on your bans.
[05:50] Light
    Don't make fun of me! I'll remember that!
[06:02] Light
    Okay, okay, okay, stop!
[06:05] Light
    Boop.
[06:09] Alfa
    Hey, this is looking good.
[06:11] Yomi
    Guess it was pretty simple.
[06:16] Yomi
    What the heck is happening?!
[06:18] Light
    Hey,i hey, you guys better
    not be crying already!
[06:22] Light
    Here we go again! Boop.
[06:27] Yomi
    Watch it!
[06:31] Alfa
    Pull us up already!
[06:33] Light
    And here's some more! Boop.
[06:40] Yomi
    Hot! Hot, hot, hot!
[06:41] Alfa
    Burning! Ow, ow, ow, ow!
[06:45] Light
    Last one! Please enjoy your trip!
[06:48] Light
    Boop!
[06:54] Alfa
    You're a sweet girl, aren't you?
[07:03] Light
    You nailed it, guys!
[07:04] Light
    Good job!
[07:05] Yomi
    Yeah, we managed somehow!
[07:08] Alfa
    Yes, excellent work, you two.
[07:11] Alfa
    Ready and...
[07:12] Trio
    Yeah!
[07:14] Light
    We were getting in sync
    towards the end there.
[07:16] Light
    We make a good trio.
[07:18] Yomi
    It's more of a trio, since there's
    three of us in this party.
[07:21] Light
    Oh, yeah, you're right!
[07:23] Light
    We're the ultimate trio!
[07:25] Alfa
    Now, we've got the key,
[07:27] Alfa
    all that's left is to head to
    the room with the holy gem.
[07:29] Light
    Right.
[07:29] Yomi
    Yeah.
SIGN    Preview
[08:11] Alfayama
    Damn, I'm off to a terrible
    start because of that Light.
[08:14] Lighta
    That's because you said you wanted
    to make jokes all by yourself!
[08:17] Alfayama
    I'd rather make jokes alone than with you!
[08:19] Lighta
    That's just the wrong attitude—
[08:21] Yominaka
    Hey, you didn't get up early
    just to blather on like this!
[08:24] Both
    Hey!
[08:25] Light
    Next time on gdkyu!!:
    The Formidable Ally
SIGN    Episode 6: The Formidable Ally
[08:27] Yomi
    That is obviously not happening.

6 - Level 06: Weapon Evolution!? Fantasy Sword

Source: Crunchyroll
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SIGN    Level 06: Weapon Evolution!? Fantasy Sword
[00:45] Light
    Holy crap, look at this...
    it looks for real, for once!
[00:49] Yomi
    It does look pretty impressive.
[00:52] Light
    It's finally kinda RPG-like!
[00:54] Alfa
    You two pissboys did a good
    job making it this far.
[00:58] Alfa
    I'm proud of you both.
[01:00] Light
    Right.
[01:00] Yomi
    You did notice he was dissing us, too, right?
[01:03] Light
    It's fine! We get to experience
    an exciting scene like this!
[01:05] Light
    I can deal with a little piss!
[01:07] Yomi
    What does that even mean?
[01:08] Alfa
    All right, go ahead, Light.
[01:12] Alfa
    You! Get going, yo.
[01:14] Yomi
    I've heard that before.
[01:16] Light
    Get going? Me?
[01:18] Alfa
    Of course, you.
[01:20] Alfa
    You're the only real choice.
[01:22] Light
    Whoa, what's going on here, Old Man Alfa?!
[01:25] Alfa
    I'm not an old man!
[01:26] Yomi
    Something seems different here.
[01:28] Yomi
    What's gotten into you?
[01:29] Light
    Normally we'd play rock paper scissors
[01:31] Light
    or talk crap to each other
    trying to see who gets it!
[01:35] Alfa
    Yeah, how about we don't do that anymore?
[01:38] Alfa
    You getting the item solves everything.
[01:41] Alfa
    Besides, I've been in this
    world for a long time,
[01:45] Alfa
    so I can tell who'd be the best
    fit for an item like this.
[01:48] Light
    Big Bro Alfa...
[01:49] Yomi
    This seems too simple.
[01:50] Alfa
    You don't mind, right, Yomi?
[01:52] Alfa
    The Holy Gem, a magic item
    that lets weapons evolve...
[01:56] Alfa
    You don't mind him taking it, right?
[01:57] Light
    My Big Bro chose this timing to
    actually explain the item! So cool!
[02:01] Yomi
    Either way is fine, I guess.
[02:03] Alfa
    And there you have it.
[02:04] Alfa
    Now, go on.
[02:06] Light
    All right, this turn of
    events is super awesome!
[02:09] Light
    Hell yes! Holy Gem, you're mine!
[02:16] Light
    I can feel power surging
    from deep within me...
[02:21] Yomi
    Amazing! What's going on?
[02:24] Alfa
    Listen up, Light,
[02:25] Alfa
    you wanna raise your weapon to the sky,
[02:28] Alfa
    then your Fantasy Sword will evolve!
[02:32] Light
    Understood!
[02:33] Light
    My partner who's fought with me
    all this time, Fantasy Sword,
[02:37] Light
    the time has come for you to evolve!
[02:42] Yomi
    What's going to happen?!
[02:46] Voice of Heavens
    Chosen swordsman...
[02:48] Voice of Heavens
    The time has come for my will
    to dwell within your sword.
[02:53] Light
    Holy crap, there's even a super legit
    sounding voice from the heavens!
[02:59] Alfa
    How delightful!
[03:07] Alfa
    Meet your new partner...
[03:10] Yomi
    Whoa, gross! What kinda sword is that?!
[03:15] Light
    What the hell?!
[03:17] Sword
    Oh, hello there, I'm Piratcho Sword!
[03:21] Sword
    Nice to meet you!
[03:23] Both
    So lame!
[03:27] Light
    Piratcho Sword?
[03:29] Sword
    Yep! You might say I'm sword of a big deal!
[03:35] Light
    I wanna throw this thing away!
[03:39] Alfa
    You make friends with Piratcho over there.
[03:41] Alfa
    Come on, off we go.
[03:43] Yomi
    He's kinda like a new pet.
[03:44] Light
    You knew this would happen, didn't you?!
[03:46] Light
    Dammit, come on!
SIGN    Today's Princess
[03:52] Trio
    gd Men.
[03:57] Princess
    Hang on, so getting back to an old subject,
[04:00] Princess
    the question of the hero's age?
[04:01] Princess
    "On the young side" is supposed
    to be teens through twenties...
[04:04] Princess
    But doesn't that cover a ton of ground?
[04:06] Princess
    In English, you might say that
    covers too dynamic a range!
[04:09] Princess
    So let's say he's in his teens,
[04:11] Princess
    a fresh looking young man in his teens,
[04:12] Princess
    he'd still have a bit of his innocence
[04:13] Princess
    while still bravely and
    earnestly fighting for me!
[04:16] Princess
    Oh, my God, that's so sweet!
[04:18] Princess
    Melody's gonna get a cavity over here!
[04:20] Princess
    Youth is justice, y'know?!
[04:24] Princess
    But hang on, he might be a pain if
    he's in one of those moody phases.
[04:27] Princess
    I do not want some kid who's
    playing mobile games on his phone
[04:29] Princess
    the whole time I'm trying to talk to him!
[04:30] Princess
    And boys like that will always
    be playing those games,
[04:32] Princess
    no matter where they go.
[04:33] Princess
    I don't even wanna imagine
    him playing with a phone
[04:35] Princess
    while we're on a date at the theme park!
[04:36] Princess
    Just enjoy waiting with me in line, come on!
[04:40] Princess
    So, yeah, no punk kids who
    don't get it, I think.
SIGN    Today's Crystal
[04:47] Trio
    gd Men!
[04:51] Yomi
    My staff's shining again...
[04:53] Alfa
    Ready to get back to it?
[04:55] Light
    Hell yeah!
[04:57] Yomi
    Whoa, scary, scary...
[04:59] Light
    This is bad! It's making me queasy!
[05:00] Yomi
    This is scary.
[05:01] Alfa
    This guy has no bones. No bones.
[05:03] Yomi
    Wow... this is bad.
[05:05] Yomi
    Who moves like that?
[05:06] Light
    What was that? What was he even doing?
[05:08] Alfa
    I don't know, but the scenery is really
    sorta... cool and pseudo-futuristic.
[05:12] Yomi
    Okay, I'll go.
[05:13] Alfa
    That was fast!
[05:16] Yomi
    "Aw, the girl who plays pink is so cute,
[05:19] Yomi
    she's got me weak in the knees!"
[05:27] Light
    He likes her that much...?
[05:30] Alfa
    The romance of superheroes, huh?
[05:30] Yomi
    Right.
[05:32] Yomi
    It happens.
[05:32] Alfa
    I bet that's complicated.
[05:34] Yomi
    Red and Pink... sometimes Yellow.
[05:36] Light
    You've got a point...
[05:37] Light
    There's just something about pink
    that stokes the passion, y'know?
[05:40] Yomi
    The color?
[05:41] Light
    I love pink.
[05:42] Alfa
    Really?
[05:43] Light
    I want pink underwear.
[05:47] Alfa
    All right, moving along.
[05:49] Alfa
    I guess I'll go next.
[05:52] Alfa
    Ding ding ding da-ding,
[05:54] Alfa
    ding ding ding da-ding ding ding ding!
[05:57] Alfa
    Ding ding ding da-ding ding ding!
[06:02] Yomi
    That was terrible! Was that supposed
    to be the radio calisthenics music?
[06:05] Alfa
    But you could tell what it was, couldn't you?
[06:06] Yomi
    I guess...
[06:07] Yomi
    It's the part with the—
[06:08] Alfa
    Y'know the part where you cross
    your chest with your arms?
[06:11] Alfa
    So he tries to do that...
[06:13] Alfa
    and he can't, because he's too sloppy.
[06:15] Light
    Y'know, the thing is,
[06:18] Light
    this guy looks flexible enough
    without having to do calisthenics.
[06:22] Alfa
    Good point.
[06:24] Light
    All right, I'll go.
[06:24] Others
    Okay.
[06:29] Light
    "Man, whenever I go out to drink with Green,
[06:31] Light
    we're throwing them back until morning..."
[06:34] Light
    "Speaking of green...
[06:36] Light
    the special train is about
    to roll out of my mouth..."
[06:42] Yomi
    What does that even mean?
[06:43] Alfa
    Green...
[06:43] Yomi
    He's drunk and...
[06:44] Light
    See when he drinks with Green,
    some green stuff comes out of his mouth.
[06:46] Yomi
    I see.
[06:47] Light
    Like those green train cars.
[06:50] Alfa
    Okay...
[06:52] Alfa
    I'm gonna do it.
[06:53] Alfa
    Here I go.
[06:55] Alfa
    "Oh, so it's gonna be a Kemono Friends
    show starting tomorrow, huh?"
[06:59] Alfa
    "Man, I don't have to put up with this!"
[07:01] Alfa
    "Guess I better find a new job..."
[07:06] Light
    That's rough, buddy.
[07:06] Yomi
    Harsh.
[07:08] Light
    He's out of luck.
[07:08] Yomi
    That's how it is.
[07:09] Alfa
    Yeah, you can't take any kind
    of employment for granted.
[07:13] Light
    Oh, man...
[07:15] Yomi
    Just saying that right
    now makes my chest hurt.
[07:18] Light
    That explains why it's dusk...
[07:20] Yomi
    Yep.
[07:21] Light
    He finishes working,
[07:22] Light
    and they tell him they're gonna be
    running a different event from now on...
[07:26] Yomi
    "Don't bother coming in tomorrow."
[07:28] Yomi
    So rough!
[07:28] Light
    He lost his job!
[07:30] Yomi
    Hey, it happens.
SIGN    Preview
[08:09] Cellfa
    I am Alfa.
[08:11] Yomi
    Maybe he can beat Alfa without us!
[08:14] Cellfa
    Curses! If only I could absorb Yomi...
[08:18] Yomi
    Next time on gdmen Ball Z Kai:
SIGN    Alfa on the Verge of Defeat! Light, Destroy Yomi!
[08:21] Yomi
    Alfa on the Verge of Defeat!
    Light, Destroy Yomi!
[08:25] Cellfa
    Curses! Curses!
[08:27] Alfa
    Yeah, nothing like that's happening.

7 - Level 07: Competition! The Hottie Audition

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] 2
    2:48
[00:43] Light
    That chick who was working at that restaurant
[00:45] Light
    was totally into you, Yomi!
[00:47] Yomi
    Wait, the one before...?
SIGN    Level 07: Competition! The Hottie Audition
[00:50] Light
    You were staring at her, too!
[00:51] Light
    Alfa, did you notice?
[00:53] Alfa
    Oh, crap! Oh, crap...
[00:54] Alfa
    It was in my back pocket earlier...
[00:57] Yomi
    Alfa?
[00:58] Alfa
    Don't think, feel, me...
[01:00] Alfa
    You can do it!
[01:02] Light
    What's gotten into you, man?
[01:06] Alfa
    This is it!
[01:08] Yomi
    Don't scare me like that!
[01:10] Alfa
    Well, y'know, I was hoping I could maybe...
[01:13] Alfa
    ask for your cooperation,
    if that's all right, y'know?
[01:18] Light
    Seriously, what happened?
[01:19] Alfa
    I'm so sorry! I lost my wallet!
[01:24] Yomi
    Well, everybody makes mistakes.
[01:28] Yomi
    Sure, I will help you.
[01:31] Light
    Yomi is right.
[01:33] Light
    So, what do you need help with?
[01:34] Alfa
    You're both super pissed!
[01:36] Alfa
    I want the two of you to enter
[01:39] Alfa
    the Office gd sponsored Hottie Audition 2018!
[01:42] Alfa
    You'll win, and score the grand prize!
[01:52] Light
    My name is Light.
SIGN    Office gd sponsored Hottie Audition 2018
SIGN    Special Gifts
SIGN    Rankings
[01:53] Sign
    Good job, dorky middle-schooler
[01:53] LIght
    Your names are...
[01:55] Light
    Well, I guess it doesn't matter.
[01:56] Light
    I'm not interested in your names,
    but your hearts, which I can't see.
[01:58] Sign
    Not bad.
SIGN    I think I've heard his voice before.
[02:01] Light
    Did you think I'd seriously say that?
[02:02] Sign
    What fun!
SIGN    Ahri Do Valanteer
SIGN    Light
[02:05] Alfa
    Yes! Yes! Light?
[02:07] Alfa
    Keep it up!
[02:08] Alfa
    Come on, Yomi, take the
    initiative and say something!
SIGN    Don't look over here
[02:11] Yomi
    Um... Um...
[02:13] Yomi
    Hello. I'm Yomi.
[02:16] Yomi
    I... I...
[02:18] Sign
    Squee! <3
[02:19] Yomi
    What can I do for you?
[02:22] Sign
    I sense darkness
[02:23] Yomi
    I... might not be much help now...
[02:24] Sign
    Is this a girl? An otokonoko?
SIGN    Follow me on Twitter
[02:27] Yomi
    Maybe all I can do now is be here,
[02:28] Sign
    So cute! <3
[02:30] Yomi
    when you're lonely...
[02:31] Sign
    Always stay by my side
[02:33] Yomi
    But one day... I'll do more.
SIGN    A sweet shota? Oh my
SIGN    Light
SIGN    Yomi
[02:40] Alfa
    Yes, and now Yomi's bringing it!
[02:42] Alfa
    Light, time for some extra effects!
[02:45] Light
    Yesterday I dreamed about being on stage...
[02:45] Signs
    Saw this one already
[02:46] Sign
    Hottie~ <3
SIGN    Oh my, what a hot voice
SIGN    Don't you dare stop!
[02:48] Light
    The lights were so bright, it was blinding,
[02:49] Sign
    Oh, I see, it's Sunday.
[02:49] Sign
    I like Hayato better.
[02:50] Sign
    Princess princess, princess?
SIGN    I get the feeling this is gonna be
[02:51] Light
    and even I was feeling nervous.
SIGN    Maaakino~
[02:52] Sign
    I want to eat some tuna mayo.
[02:54] Light
    Right when I thought I
    was going to freeze up,
SIGN    Seems like he might have a complex about his buddy
SIGN    God
[02:56] Light
    it felt like I could hear your voices.
[02:58] Sign
    Squee-------///
[02:59] Sign
    I did not cross that line.
[02:59] Light
    You could say it helped me calm down...?
[03:00] Sign
    Is that a nice story?
SIGN    I wuv you lots <3
SIGN    Just the tip
[03:02] Sign
    Are they ad-libbing this?
[03:02] Light
    Nah, it was trouble, because instead
    it got my heart pounding even more!
[03:03] Sign
    It's Tsugutsugu!
[03:04] Sign
    Apparently he's Kirito
SIGN    The guy from Anpanman?!
SIGN    Rankings
SIGN    Kou Hayato
SIGN    Light
[03:08] Alfa
    Get a load of that!
[03:09] Alfa
    We're on the verge of taking the top spot!
[03:12] Alfa
    And now some extra effects for Yomi!
[03:15] Signs
    I saw this already.
[03:15] Yomi
    I went to a festival today...
[03:16] Sign
    I'll give you 300,000,000 yen.
SIGN    gd bye now!
[03:17] Sign
    It's teatime!
SIGN    Oh my! <3
[03:19] Yomi
    The stands were really fun.
[03:19] Sign
    Bam bam!
[03:20] Sign
    Oh, cute!
[03:20] Sign
    You mad?
[03:21] Yomi
    But it was lonely without you all,
SIGN    Is that Kio Asuno...?
[03:23] Sign
    I love you lots <3
[03:23] Sign
    He'd be dead if this was Another
[03:24] Sign
    Enjoy!
[03:25] Sign
    Cute
[03:26] Yomi
    I think...
SIGN    Squeeeeeeee///
[03:27] Yomi
    It'd be nice if you could
    wear a pretty yukata.
[03:27] Sign
    Yumotooo!
SIGN    Get out!
[03:31] Sign
    (To** Ranbu)
SIGN    Eek!
[03:32] Sign
    I sense darkness.
[03:33] Yomi
    You want me to pull your
    obi?! I can't do that!
SIGN    What a scary boy!
SIGN    Cutie pie!
[03:36] Sign
    If you want to hit someone, hit me!
[03:37] Sign
    He's dazzling!
[03:37] Sign
    Is that a nice story?
[03:38] Yomi
    Gosh!
SIGN    Kou Hayato
SIGN    Light
SIGN    Yomi
[03:41] Alfa
    This is happening! It's happening!
[03:42] Alfa
    We're gonna finish in first and second place!
SIGN    Strip!
[03:45] Alfa
    You two, take some clothes off and
    give them a little extra skin!
[03:48] Light
    Damn it, get a grip! Why the hell
    would we take our clothes off?!
[03:51] Yomi
    That's right! We already helped a lot!
[03:53] Alfa
    You idiots! We've almost got
    first and second place clinched!
[03:55] Alfa
    We've almost got the prize
    money! Don't you get it?!
[04:03] Alfa
    Huh?
[04:04] Alfa
    Huh, huh, huh, really...?
[04:07] Light
    What now? Did you lose something else?
[04:09] Alfa
    Well, the thing is...
[04:11] Alfa
    I found my wallet!
SIGN    Today's Princess
[04:20] Trio
    gd Men.
[04:25] Princess
    Is he late or what? How long are you
    gonna keep me waiting, Mr. Hero?
[04:29] Princess
    Mr. Hero! Mr. Hero, are you listening?
[04:32] Princess
    Oh, of course not,
    because you're not even there!
[04:37] Princess
    Where are you screwing around right now?!
[04:41] Princess
    If he's taking this long, I'm not even
    sure it'll be a hero who shows up.
[04:44] Princess
    Think about it!
[04:45] Princess
    He's not hurrying at all!
[04:46] Princess
    Taking his sweet time!
[04:47] Princess
    What kind of hero takes his sweet time?
[04:49] Princess
    Like a train that stop at every station!
[04:51] Princess
    That's just a regular train, y'know?
[04:52] Princess
    In the end, it's just gonna be
    like a train picking me up...
SIGN    Alfa's Mysterious Shutdown
[04:59] Trio
    gd Men!
[05:07] L
    Man, there's nothing in here!
[05:09] Y
    Where're the Dragon Wings?
[05:11] A
    Oh, man! Oh, man! This is so great!
[05:15] L
    There's just a bunch of crappy paintings!
[05:18] L
    So the Dragon Wings that let us fly straight
    to the Dark Lord aren't even here?
[05:21] A
    You dumbass!
[05:23] L
    Ow!
[05:24] L
    What the hell was that, old man?!
[05:25] A
    Do not call these crappy paintings!
[05:27] A
    That's nonsense! Absolute nonsense!
[05:29] Y
    What's gotten into you?
[05:31] A
    I totally love pop culture.
[05:35] A
    I totally love pop culture!
[05:38] Y
    Yeah?
[05:38] A
    That's my character.
[05:39] L
    Who cares?! And since when, ovah heah?!
[05:41] A
    What's with the Kansai accent, ovah heah?!
[05:42] Y
    You, too, Alfa.
[05:43] L
    We came all this way to look
    at these weird paintings?!
[05:45] A
    I've never told you guys this before,
[05:48] A
    but I've been collecting the most
    pop bits of culture I could find.
[05:51] A
    And this is the stuff that is the
    most popping of the whole millennium!
[05:53] A
    Do you get it?
[05:54] Yomi
    It seems like you just
    want to say "pop culture."
[05:56] Light
    Whoa, hold up.
[05:57] Light
    We don't have time to mess
    around with your hobbies, man!
[05:59] A
    Aw, it's fine, Yagami!
[06:01] L
    Cry, scream, then die!
[06:03] L
    Wait, no, I'm just plain old Light!
[06:05] A
    I've been looking forward to enjoying
    the combination of pop culture
[06:09] A
    and ukiyo-e that are on display here!
[06:16] Y
    Uh... what?
[06:17] L
    You sound weird, man.
[06:18] A
    Such deeply refined art...
[06:21] A
    Exquisite...
[06:23] A
    Enough to make my voice change,
    and for me to lose my composure...
[06:27] Light
    Wow, what a hot voice!
[06:29] A
    The odd colors that come from brilliantly
    combining eastern and western influences...
[06:33] A
    The exquisite result is enough...
    to drive me mad.
[06:36] L
    The way he says "drive me mad"... Ohh!
[06:39] A
    It's maddening...
[06:40] A
    Maddening!
[06:42] Y
    Seriously, what's wrong with you?
[06:44] L
    This is bad, Yomi!
[06:45] L
    If he keeps up this pop culture trance,
[06:47] L
    his voice is going to get
    too sexy for broadcast!
[06:51] Yomi
    What do you mean?!
[06:52] A
    Instead simply depicting it,
SIGN    Guda
[06:53] A
    this one evokes the flowing, soft curves
    of a woman's body with such !
[06:59] Alfa

    Get me a bowl of ramen! I'm ready for !
[07:02] L

    He's losing it! He's losing his mind!
[07:04] Y
*
    Alfa's broken!
[07:06] A
    ******** urgh, ...
[07:08] A

    No... it's coming...
[07:10] A**
    from deep within me, ******* overflowing!
[07:15] L
    Here it comes!
[07:16] A
    Alfa **********!
[07:25] Y
    Alfa!
[07:28] L
    Seriously?
[07:29] L
    Alfa? Hey, Alfa!
[07:31] Y
    This is bad! There's no life
    energy in Alfa anymore!
[07:34] L
    No way, man...
[07:35] L
    Alfa! Come on, snap out of it!
[07:37] L
    Alfa! Alfa!
SIGN    Preview
SIGN    Next Time on Mr. gdMatsu
SIGN    Super Kiss etc.
[08:21] Lightmatsu
    Better make sure the preview is done right!
[08:24] Lightmatsu
    In the first segment next week...
    it's finally happening!
SIGN    See you next time!!
[08:28] L
    Not gonna happen!

8 - Level 08: In Pursuit of the "Straht'ehgee Gyde"

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:43] Y
    Alfa!
SIGN    Previously on gdMen
[00:43] Light
    Previously on gd Men.
[00:46] L
    Seriously?
[00:47] L
    Alfa? Hey, Alfa!
[00:49] Y
    This is bad! There's no life
    energy in Alfa anymore!
[00:52] L
    No way, man...
[00:53] L
    Alfa! Come on, snap out of it!
[00:55] L
    Alfa! Alfa!
SIGN    Level 08: In Pursuit of the "Straht'ehgee Gyde"
[01:03] L
    Damn it! Take this!
[01:06] Y
    I'm running low on MP! What do we do, Light?!
[01:10] L
    There's nothing else we can do!
[01:12] L
    We can't leave until we beat this
    thing and get that magic book!
[01:17] Y
    The magic book that can revive Alfa after
    his emergency shutdown, Straht'ehgee Gyde?
[01:22] L
    Right! So don't give up!
[01:26] Y
    Light!
[01:27] L
    We're rescuing our buddy with the sexy voice!
[01:35] L
    Take that you piece of crap!
    How you like that, dirty bastard?!
[01:42] Y
    Let's revive him, quick!
[01:47] L
    Okay... there is a way to revive
    him in the Straht'ehgee Gyde.
[01:51] L
    I guess we'll start with the
    author's foreword. Let's see...
[01:56] Y
    Really?!
[01:57] L
    "If you've purchased this book,
[01:59] L
    I'm sure the struggles of society
    have got you anxious about life."
[02:02] Y
    Wow, talk about realistic.
[02:03] L
    Yeah.
[02:05] L
    Let's see...
[02:05] L
    "The name of your comrade who stopped
    functioning the other day is Alfa."
[02:11] Y
    It knows that?
[02:13] L
    Oh, yeah, it was Alfa!
[02:15] L
    I didn't recognize him with the sexy voice.
[02:19] Y
    Who cares about that?!
    Find out how to revive him already!
[02:22] L
    Man, shut up! I already know that.
[02:23] L
    Reviving him, huh?
[02:25] L
    Let's see... oh, here we go!
[02:28] Y
    What's it say?
[02:29] L
    "He must receive a kiss from
    one of his traveling friends."
[02:33] L
    That's simpler than I figured.
[02:35] Y
    A kiss from a friend?
[02:37] L
    There you go. Get on it.
[02:39] L
    Go on, there's no time to waste.
    Get with the mouth to mouth.
[02:42] Y
    Why me?! Couldn't you do it, too, Light?
[02:45] L
    I'm not his friend, though.
[02:47] Y
    What the heck?!
[02:48] Y
    Then let's make it fair and square
    with rock-paper-scissors!
[02:51] L
    Rock-paper-scissors?
[02:52] L
    Man, fine, we're running out
    of time, let's get a move on.
[02:55] L
    By the way, I'm gonna throw scissors first.
[02:56] Y
    Hey, cut that out!
[02:58] L
    Here we go, rock, paper...
[02:59] Both
    ...scissors!
[03:02] Y
    No way...
[03:04] L
    They say reality is stranger
    than fiction, y'know.
[03:06] L
    You lost. Get to it.
[03:09] Y
    No.
[03:10] Y
    I actually don't want to.
[03:11] L
    Damn it! You wanna leave one
    of our comrades for dead?!
[03:16] L
    Y'know, I wanted to do it,
    but I won at rock-paper-scissors!
[03:21] L
    Can't you understand how
    frustrated I must feel?!
[03:23] Y
    Fine... I get it.
[03:26] L
    Good! Now, go hog wild down there.
[03:30] Y
    It's to... save Alfa, so...
[03:41] L
    Eek!
[03:51] A
    What's gotten into you, boy?!
[03:52] L
    So, so like, how's it feel?
[03:54] L
    How's it feel?
[03:55] L
    Were your lips touching?
[03:56] L
    I bet they were!
[03:57] L
    Was that your first kiss?
[03:59] Y
    Oh, shut up!
SIGN    Today's Princess
[04:04] Trio
    gd Men...
[04:10] Melody
    Hero's not here. Still not here, today.
[04:12] Melody
    I'm getting tired of this cell.
[04:14] Melody
    I'm hitting the limit..
[04:16] Melody
    I got nothing to do... whatum gonna do?
[04:20] Melody
    "Whatum gonna do"! It's like I'm going crazy!
[04:27] Melody
    Seriously, is there anything to do?
[04:29] Melody
    There's nothing in here!
    All I see are these stupid stones!
[04:32] Melody
    Oh, is this stone heart shaped?
[04:35] Melody
    Oh, wow, how cute!
[04:37] Melody
    This one is kind of like a bear!
[04:39] Melody
    Wow, looking for shapes in the
    stones might be crazy fun!
[04:43] Melody
    Or I'm just crazy bored!
[04:44] Melody
    Oh, this one is super cute!
[04:47] Melody
    It's like the Abenobashi Terminal Building!
    They look so much alike!
[04:52] Melody
    Because it's just a long rectangle?!
[04:54] Melody
    What am I doing?!
SIGN    Today's Crystal
[04:59] Trio
    gd Men.
[05:05] Y
    Oh, it's glowing.
[05:06] L
    I've been waiting for this!
[05:07] A
    Someone sounds confident.
[05:12] Y
    That's gross...
[05:13] L
    Ew...
[05:14] L
    He's just in his underpants.
[05:16] A
    Just the underpants! Just the underpants.
[05:17] L
    Just the underpants.
[05:18] Y
    Just the underpants.
    Mr. Just The Underpants.
[05:19] L
    Mr. Just the underpants?
[05:20] L
    Chief Just the underpants..
[05:21] L
    Ew!
[05:22] A
    Something about the way he moves
    is disturbingly realistic...
[05:26] L
    I see...
[05:28] Y
    I wish he wouldn't raise his leg like that.
[05:28] A
    Couldn't he put a robe on...?
[05:31] Y
    Makes you think you're
    gonna see... something.
[05:33] A
    People like this tend to want to show off.
[05:34] Y
    Seriously?
[05:35] A
    We're doing this again... What to do?
[05:38] A
    Okay, I'll go first.
[05:40] L
    Go for it.
[05:41] A
    I'll do it but I think I
    might get in trouble...
[05:42] ---
    Good luck.
[05:44] A
    Lalalala, lalalala, *******
    to the ****** **** Park!
[05:51] A
    Lalalala, lalalala!
[05:54] A
    I wonder when they're going to call
    me to be on Kedamono Friends...
[05:59] Y
    They're not going to!
[06:01] A
    I bet they would, if it was
    Kedamono Friends instead!
[06:04] A
    Considering how much rhythm he has,
    he'd get to be in the opening, I bet.
[06:07] Y
    I guess he was moving smoothly.
[06:08] A
    That's right.
[06:10] A
    Yep.
[06:12] L
    This is bad... we're in so much trouble...
[06:15] A
    Like I care!
[06:18] L
    Okay, me!
[06:18] A
    Right, good luck!
[06:21] L
    La dah dee la dah dee la dee dah dah,
[06:25] L
    la dah dee la dah dee la dee dah dah,
[06:29] L
    la dah dee—
    What are you looking at, Mr. Hero?!
[06:36] Y
    Who? Who? Who was that?
[06:37] A
    I think he doesn't get the reference.
[06:39] L
    You don't?!
[06:42] L
    You didn't watch Guru Guru?!
[06:43] A
    There it is!
[06:43] Y
    I see!
[06:46] A
    There it is.
[06:47] Y
    Makes sense now, yeah.
[06:47] L
    It's like Old Man North North.
[06:49] A
    When you actually put it that
    way, I can see the resemblance.
[06:52] A
    Old Man North North?
[06:52] L
    He doesn't actually resemble him!
[06:53] A
    Oh, no?
[06:59] Y
    Okay!
[07:01] L
    Yomi?
[07:02] Y
    I'll go now.
[07:05] Y
    This summer, a new brand of air
    conditioner is going on sale!
[07:08] Y
    Feel the moist, warm air flow from
    a single underpants-clad crotch!
[07:16] Y
    ...I guess I finished that too soon.
[07:19] A
    That was the only thing
    they had to advertise.
SIGN    Preview
[08:02] A
    Yomi-kun, can you translate
    "kiss me" into Japanese?
[08:04] Y
    Isn't it just "kiss me"?
[08:07] A
    That's what I thought.
[08:08] A
    I overheard Light-senpai
    saying "kiss me" just now.
[08:12] Y
    Huh?! Who did he say "kiss me" to?
[08:14] L
    Both of you, your pronunciation
    is horrible! It's "kiss me."
[08:17] A
    Light-san!
[08:18] A
    Next episode, "The gdmotive of a Twist!"
SIGN    The gdmotive of a Twist!
SIGN    Kiss me.
SIGN    Kiss me.
SIGN    Kiss me.
SIGN    Perfect body.
SIGN    Perfect body.
[08:28] Yomi
    That is obviously not happening.

9 - Level 09: Welcome to Dream Island!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Level 09: Welcome to Dream Island!
SIGN    Welcome to
    Dream Island!
SIGN    Winners
SIGN    get one million gold!!
[00:50] Light
    Gulp...
[00:56] Trio
    Sounds good!
[00:57] L
    Alfa, you know what to do, right?
[00:59] A
    But of course! This program
    ought to be able to get it open!
[01:02] A
    Loading data!
[01:08] L
    So this is it?!
SIGN    Dream Island
[01:12] MC
    Our first attraction is
    the Basket Merry-Go-Round

SIGN    Basket Merry-Go-Round
[01:17] MC
    Landing balls in the baskets
    will score you points.

[01:22] L
    We have to sink shots into Underpants
    Only's basket, right? Piece of cake!
[01:25] A
    All right, throw!
[01:31] Y
    Got it!
[01:32] L
    Toss!
[01:33] L
    Receive!
[01:35] L
    Attack!
[01:37] A
    All right! Smooth sailing.
[01:40] MC
    Level two: Auto Pilot.
[01:43] L
    They're moving!
[01:45] Y
    Hey! Stop!
[01:48] Y
    Wait!
[01:51] A
    Hold it right there, Underpants Only!
[01:53] Y
    Got him, got him, got him!
[01:55] Y
    Nice one, Alfa!
[01:57] MC
    Speeding up. Speeding up!
[02:02] L
    For real?!
[02:06] A
    Underpants Only is in trouble!
[02:07] Y
    If he falls over, the balls will fall out!
[02:09] A
    Protect him!
[02:18] Trio
    Underpants Only!
SIGN    1. Team Morishita - 1362pt 2. Team Gomasunda - 1235pt 3. Team Hachikin - 1232pt
SIGN    1. Team Morishita - 1362pt 2. Team Gomasunda - 1235pt 3. Team Hachikin - 1232pt 4. Team Agurakaitenai - 1002pt
SIGN    2. Team Gomasunda - 1235pt 3. Team Hachikin - 1232pt 4. Team Agurakaitenai - 1002pt 5. Team Morikun - 981pt
SIGN    3. Team Hachikin - 1232pt 4. Team Agurakaitenai - 1002pt 5. Team Morikun - 981pt 6. Team Kourogu - 912pt
SIGN    4. Team Agurakaitenai - 1002pt 5. Team Morikun - 981pt 6. Team Kourogu - 912pt 7. Team Shiyoken - 895pt
SIGN    5. Team Morikun - 981pt 6. Team Kourogu - 912pt 7. Team Shiyoken - 895pt 8. Team Fusako - 763pt
SIGN    6. Team Kourogu - 912pt 7. Team Shiyoken - 895pt 8. Team Fusako - 763pt 9. Team Hijitsugai - 145pt
SIGN    7. Team Shiyoken - 895pt 8. Team Fusako - 763pt 9. Team Hijitsugai - 145pt 10. Team Mottonaguritai - 93pt
SIGN    8. Team Fusako - 763pt
    9. Team Hijitsugai - 145pt
    10. Team Mottonaguritai - 93pt
    11. Team gd Men - 0pt
SIGN    Fairy Tale Zone
[02:29] N
    Fairy Tale Zone.
[02:30] N
    Welcome to the world of Dream Island!
[02:34] L
    This seems totally different from before.
[02:36] Y
    Yeah, it's exciting!
[02:40] Y
    Look over there! How cute.
[02:42] A
    Yeah. Something relaxing about it...
[02:44] A
    Wait, that guy on the end!
[02:46] A
    Don't force yourself, man!
[02:50] L
    Someone's controlling them?!
[02:51] Y
    He's the mastermind!
[02:54] A
    And now I feel depressed.
[03:00] N
    The Shooting Zone.
SIGN    The Shooting Zone
[03:02] N
    You score points by shooting bad guys!
[03:05] L
    I've done something like this before!
[03:07] Y
    You get more points for how
    bad the person is, right?
[03:10] A
    Pardon me.
[03:13] [SONG] Sign
    Defeated a robber.
    1 point.
[03:15] A
    One point for shooting a robber?!
[03:17] L
    You're not gonna score going
    after the obvious targets!
[03:19] L
    It's this guy!
[03:21] [SONG] Sign
    Defeated customer at the register (who is threatening the clerk)
    5 Points.
[03:22] L
    That's all I get even when
    he's threatening the clerk?!
[03:24] Y
    There!
[03:27] L
    Whoa!
[03:27] [SONG] Sign
    Defeated a co-worker who won't shut up about adding him to your Line friends.
    100 points.
[03:28] Y
    Nobody likes it when you won't shut
    up about being added on Line!
SIGN    Bonus Time
[03:33] N
    Bonus Time.
[03:35] N
    Many bad guys will appear,
    so please defeat them.

SIGN    Bonus Time
[03:38] Y
    Come on, let's rack up some points
    and go for the high score!
[03:41] Light
    There!
[03:44] [SONG] Sign
    Defeated the guy screwing around in the cooler.
    100 points.
[03:44] L
    No screwing around in the cooler!
[03:48] A
    Gotcha!
[03:50] [SONG] Sign
    Defeated a customer who opened a sealed magazine.
    5 points.
[03:52] A
    I mean, that's just bad manners.
[03:56] L
    We can get the high score!
[03:57] L
    Yomi, bring it home!
[03:58] A
    I'm sure the boy can make it happen!
[04:04] L
    I wanna be a hero with a girlfriend!
[04:06] A
    I want cheesy romance every day!
[04:08] Y
    Cake!
[04:14] Y
    No loitering outside the store!
[04:14] [SONG] Sign
    Defeated the punks who were loitering outside the store.
    2000 points.
[04:17] Trio
    Well?!
SIGN    1. Team Ruchikin - 3235pt
    2. Team gd Men - 3234pt
    3. Team Morikun - 3054pt
[04:24] L
    Y-you...
[04:26] L
    Underpants Only!
[04:29] L
    Huh?!
[04:30] N
    Defeated the owner of the convenience store
[04:30] [SONG] Sign
    Defeated the owner of the convenience store who works his employees
    to the bone while refusing to increase their wages.
    10,000 points.
[04:31] N
    who works his employees to the bone
    while refusing to increase their wages.

[04:35] N
    Ten thousand points.
SIGN    1. Team Ruchikin - 3235pt
    2. Team gd Men - 3234pt
    3. Team Morikun - 3054pt
SIGN    1. Team gd Men - 13234pt
    2. Team Ruchikin - 3235pt
    3. Team Morikun - 3054pt
[04:36] Y
    Yes!
[04:37] Trio
    All right!
[04:42] A
    We even got a prize!
[04:45] L
    Yeah! A magic key, right?
[04:47] L
    Hope we get to use it someday!
[04:49] Y
    You two did great this time!
[04:51] L
    I knew I could count on you two, too!
[04:56] A
    Hey. Hey!
[04:58] A
    I'm included when you say that, right?
[04:59] A
    Right?!
[05:00] A
    You're not gonna form a new
    party without me, are you?!
SIGN    Today's Princess
[05:08] Trio
    gd Men.
[05:13] Mel
    I am finished being a girl who
    simply waits for the hero.
[05:17] Mel
    Yes...
[05:19] Mel
    I have decided to confront my own existence.
[05:23] Mel
    The most sublime form of
    wasting time... philosophy.
[05:28] Mel
    This princess has become a philosopher.
[05:32] Mel
    As I sit here, upon and a part of the Earth,
[05:34] Mel
    a door opens to my own inner universe.
[05:37] Mel
    But what is the universe? What is it really?
[05:39] Mel
    Where is beyond the universe?
[05:41] Mel
    If everything that exists
    is part of the universe,
[05:43] Mel
    wouldn't anything that exists
    outside of it not be the universe?
[05:46] Mel
    What... is the world?
[05:49] Mel
    What is the universe, where am I? What am I?!
[05:54] Mel
    I'm scared! Thinking about it is scary!
[05:57] Mel
    No more!
SIGN    Today's Crystal
SIGN    Illustration_ZZ ZZZ-san
[06:02] Trio
    gd Men!
[06:07] Y
    It's not glowing today...
[06:09] L
    Three, two, one, go!
[06:12] A
    Are you psychic?!
[06:17] Y
    Whoa.
[06:17] A
    Man!
[06:19] A
    This is kinda...
[06:21] Y
    The eyes are kinda vacant...
[06:23] L
    Not to mention the way he
    moves is... eerily sexy?
[06:27] Y
    Okay, I'll go!
[06:31] L
    That was fast.
[06:34] Y
    If you want to touch the right side
    of my chest, form a line over here!
[06:37] Y
    If you watch to touch the left, over here!
[06:39] Y
    Now, which will it be?
[06:43] L
    That's really what it looks like...
[06:46] L
    Oh, man!
[06:48] Y
    Like, you have to touch one!
[06:51] A
    So it's like a penalty?
[06:53] A
    Okay, I'll go.
[06:55] L
    Go for it.
[06:56] A
    Here I go!
[07:00] A
    He is in charge of the western wing,
[07:02] A
    and over here, the manager
    of the eastern wing.
[07:05] A
    I, on the other hand,
    am just passing through.
[07:10] Y
    For someone who's just passing
    through he's kinda... intense?
[07:12] Y
    Has a really strong presence?
[07:14] L
    You're telling me!
[07:16] Y
    Way too much.
[07:17] A
    Maybe those are formal clothes
    from his home country.
[07:21] L
    I've got one!
[07:22] L
    That one helped me figure it out.
[07:23] A
    Yeah?
[07:25] L
    It's kinda old fashioned, though.
[07:26] A
    Okay. Those are the best.
[07:28] L
    Did you drop the monk on the right?
[07:32] L
    Or the one on the left?
[07:34] L
    Who cares? Hold me!
[07:38] Y
    Oh, man!
[07:41] Y
    Oh, man....
[07:42] Y
    I guess no one cares, then?
[07:44] L
    Not in the end!
SIGN    Preview
[08:24] Y
    It's such a waste to go to sleep.
SIGN    Next... GD-Project ~ Normal Edition * Episode 10 ~
[08:26] Y
    Can I squeeze you?
[08:27] A
    Yeah, nothing like that's happening.

10 - The Pre-Eminent Moment: The Demon Lord's Castle

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Level 10: The Pre-Eminent Moment: The Demon Lord's Castle
[00:49] Y
    Sure is impressive, huh?
[00:51] Y
    You think the demon lord is really strong?
[00:57] Y
    But we came all the way here together.
[01:00] Y
    We have to have faith, right?
[01:04] Y
    And the princess is waiting.
[01:07] L
    I'm really excited!
[01:08] Y
    Hey, you can't say that!
[01:11] A
    I'm lookin' forward to seeing
    what kinda guys are in there!
[01:14] Y
    You say that, but you're not
    even trying to go inside.
[01:21] Y
    Hey. You're backing up! Clearly!
[01:26] ---
    I'm really excited!
[01:28] ---
    I'm positive that's a lie!
[01:29] A
    Hey, it's not that I'm chicken,
[01:33] A
    I'm trying to give you youngsters
    a rare experience, as an adult!
[01:37] L
    That's right! Do you understand, Yomi-kun?
[01:40] Y
    That's a total lie!
[01:41] Y
    And you're a kid, too, Light!
[01:43] ---
    You knucklehead! Once you're a dippy
    middle schooler, you count as an adult!
[01:47] ---
    Isn't that right, Alfa-san?
[01:48] L
    No, you're a kid.
[01:50] L
    You've probably never even
    been to a girls' bar.
[01:52] L
    You're not mature at all!
[01:55] Y
    Whatever, can we just do this thing?!
[01:58] Y
    Since we're here!
[02:00] L
    Right, since we're here!
    We don't want to waste the opportunity!
[02:03] A
    That's right! Since we're here!
    Timing is important, y'know?
[02:07] A
    I'm telling you, we're not trying to make
    a positive out of this waste of time!
[02:11] Y
    I'm positive that's a lie!
[02:12] A
    It's not like we're hanging out
    with our buddies over the weekend
[02:15] A
    trying to make the best of it to
    see who gets to be most popular!
[02:18] A
    So when we try to record a
    video we get super embarrassed.
[02:20] A
    It's not that we're getting
    super embarrassed!
[02:22] Y
    Yes, it is! That's exactly what it is!
[02:26] A
    When you grow up,
[02:27] A
    you meet up with your buddies and
    start talking about your own company!
[02:30] A
    And yet, ultimately you end up
    giving up! It's not that, either!
[02:34] A
    What, then? Are you trying to gather
    more information first or something?
[02:39] A
    That's right!
[02:40] A
    We lack information!
    What we do have is courage!
[02:44] L
    Ditto!
[02:45] L
    What we need is info!
    We have plenty of courage!
[02:48] A
    Yes! And I'm pretty sure
    the information's over there!
[02:51] L
    Sure enough!
[02:52] Y
    I do not want to be this kind of an adult...
[02:55] L
    Come on, let's go.
SIGN    Today's princess
SIGN    Illustration by Yamada Kagura-san
[02:59] Trio
    gd Men...
[03:06] Melody
    I finally understand...
[03:09] Melody
    I am the universe itself.
[03:12] Melody
    So I have to go into the universe myself!
[03:16] Melody
    Stupid hero!
[03:19] Melody
    I can sense the cosmo!
[03:22] Melody
    But the thing is... I'm sorta locked in here.
[03:26] Melody
    They've got some nerve,
    locking me, the universe, in here!
[03:30] ---
    Huh? Huh?! Huh?!
[03:35] Melody
    The lock... is open?!
[03:39] Melody
    I can... get out?!
[03:41] Melody
    Then I can see the hero?!
[03:44] ---
    Hooray!
[03:46] Melody
    All the tension is gone?!
[03:48] Melody
    Oh, my God! What the heck?!
SIGN    Illustration by Imada Emi-san
SIGN    Today's Crystal!
[03:55] Trio
    gd Men!
[04:00] L
    I'm starting to look forward to this!
[04:01] L
    It's honestly the part I'm looking
    forward to the most... or not at all.
[04:08] A
    Who?
[04:09] Y
    Who is this?
[04:10] Y
    I'm not sure, but...
[04:11] Y
    She's cute, though.
[04:13] Y
    This is just a hunch...
[04:15] Y
    but I feel like this is your kind of thing.
[04:17] Y
    Seriously? Then I'll go first, then. I'll go first.
[04:22] Y
    Now then, let's fast-forward
    the footage of her sleeping last night.
[04:28] A
    You really do enjoy these sorta...
[04:31] A
    ...narration deals.
[04:32] L
    He does.
[04:34] ---
    I see.
[04:34] A
    What should I do?
[04:38] A
    Okay, I guess I'll go next.
[04:39] Y
    Right.
[04:40] A
    Okay, Alfa, going up next.
[04:42] A
    Oh! Oh, no! Mom's coming in,
[04:44] A
    the best way to conceal the dirty
    book underneath my bed is...
[04:47] A
    This.
[04:49] A
    You get it?
[04:50] L
    "This?"
[04:51] ---
    This?
[04:52] L
    Is that even hiding anything?
[04:55] Y
    The idea is you move at that
    speed so they don't see it.
[04:58] L
    Okay, me next.
[05:00] A
    Counting on you.
[05:02] L
    Ah, the vibrator is on,
    the vibrator's on.
[05:05] L
    Someone'll see me!
    This is bad, this is so bad!
[05:10] A
    That's so crass!
[05:11] ---
    Crass?
[05:12] L
    What? What's so crass?
[05:13] L
    What do you mean, crass?
[05:14] ---
    What do you mean, vibrator?
[05:15] L
    Well y'know, the bed is going brrrrrr...
[05:20] A
    It is?
[05:20] Y
    The bed is shaking, like an attraction.
[05:21] ---
    Like a massage.
[05:21] ---
    There isn't anything inside, or anything.
[05:23] L
    Yes, okay!
[05:26] Y
    Don't just make the decisions!
[05:26] Y
    Who made you the director?
[05:31] L
    Is this a prison cell?
[05:33] A
    Hey, it's the girl from before.
[05:36] A
    She's yelling about something.
[05:37] A
    Hey, she's pretty cute.
[05:38] L
    True...
[05:40] A
    Dude, she's cuter than I thought.
[05:41] ---
    She is.
[05:43] ---
    I think it'd be a good idea
    to incorporate that somehow.
[05:45] Y
    In that case, Alfa-san, go ahead.
[05:50] A
    It's a little cliche, but I'll go ahead, then.
[05:52] ---
    Okay.
[05:54] A
    Arrgh, I'm so bored!
[05:59] A
    Maybe I set my fee a little too high...
[06:05] ---
    I see...
[06:06] L
    Is that the kinda shop this is?!
[06:08] L
    I dunno what kinda shop it is,
    but it does have fees, so...
[06:13] ---
    Seriously?
[06:13] Y
    Oh, maybe they're maids!
[06:16] A
    I thought for sure that Light would've
    been the first one to go for that!
[06:20] A
    I guess not!
[06:22] ---
    I considered it...
[06:24] ---
    But...
[06:24] Y
    So you did consider it.
[06:25] L
    But he beat me to it, so let's just go!
[06:28] ---
    Really?
[06:33] L
    I'm gonna poop myself!
[06:35] L
    But it was just a fart, so I guess it's fine!
[06:42] y
    Nice. That's a good one.
[06:44] A
    But does that even happen?
[06:46] A
    The reverse usually happens...
[06:49] A
    Like when you're gonna fart,
    but something more comes out.
[06:51] A
    I mean, it hasn't happened to me, but...
[06:53] Y
    But Alfa-san, you're already an adult!
[06:55] A
    No, no, it was a friend of a friend!
[06:55] Y
    You poop yourself?!
[06:58] Y
    You're totally talking about yourself.
[06:59] A
    But I'm pretty sure the opposite doesn't really happen.
[07:04] A
    Let's have Yomi bring it
    in clean for the end...
[07:09] Y
    Okay, here I go...
[07:11] A
    Okay.
[07:13] Y
    Your... name is...
[07:19] Y
    Our bodies aren't switching at all.
[07:24] L
    Is that it?!
[07:25] L
    I was wondering what you were going for.
[07:28] L
    But it'd be fun to swap bodies
    with a girl that cute, right.
[07:31] Y
    True.
[07:32] l
    Well, first you grab them...
[07:32] l
    Fun?
[07:33] Y
    First you grab 'em.
[07:35] Y
    Grab what?
[07:35] Y
    Boobs.
[07:37] Y
    What? Grab boobs?
[07:38] Y
    I mean, that's what he did in the movie.
[07:41] L
    Huh?
[07:42] Y
    Huh? He did?
[07:43] L
    When they switched, that was
    the first thing that happened.
SIGN    Preview
SIGN    More gdmaru next week!
[08:28] L
    Not gonna happen!

11 - Level 11: The Demon Lord's Castle Is Like, Right There

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Raise up the Demon Lord Along With the Melody
[00:51] Blue
    What's that supposed to mean?
SIGN    Level 11: The Demon Lord's Castle Is Like, Right There
[00:52] Yellow
    Oh, that.
[00:54] Yellow
    Apparently, if you praise the
    Demon Lord, the door will open.
[00:58] Red
    Wait, we're supposed to
    praise the Demon Lord?
[00:59] Yellow
    Yeah.
[01:01] Red
    Oh... Okay.
[01:02] Yellow
    Yeah.
[01:05] Red
    The Demon Lord is super,
    super, super, superior.
[01:10] Blue
    It's not opening.
[01:11] Red
    Seriously?
[01:13] Yellow
    I'm sort of copying Light's, but..
[01:19] Yellow
    Your pnis is very, very splendid.
[01:22] Red
    You're not supposed to laugh.
[01:23] Blue
    Can you say that?
[01:26] Blue
    That's not going to open it.
[01:28] Yellow
    Maybe I should've said how big it was.
[01:30] Red
    Seriously?
[01:32] ---
    'Kay, I'm going!
[01:35] Red
    Alfa, you see, is actually a d
ck.
[01:39] Yellow
    Why did you just insult me?
[01:40] Blue
    That's got nothing to do with anything!
[01:43] yellow
    I'm an AI robot so I'm definitely not
    lacking down there. Don't mess with me.
[01:46] Red
    You're not?
[01:47] Yellow
    Of course not!
[01:48] Red
    How many centimeters?
[01:50] Yellow
    Next.
[01:50] Blue
    Okay, here I go.
[01:54] Blue
    Happy trails...
    You're so bushy down there.
[02:00] Red
    Is that considered a compliment?
[02:02] Blue
    Yeah, totally.
[02:03] Yellow
    Oh, yeah.
[02:04] Yellow
    I forgot I took the magic key
    the other day. Tee-hee my bad.
[02:09] Both
    Hey!
[02:10] Red
    Hey, you... you...
[02:11] Yellow
    Okay, well, let's go.
[02:15] Blue
    Ready, and...
[02:17] All
    Hup!
[02:24] Red
    Hey, wait a sec.
[02:26] Red
    There's some kind of character over there!
[02:27] Red
    Is that the Demon Lord?
[02:28] Blue
    You're right. Huh?
[02:30] Blue
    Isn't that the person who showed up
    in the crystal ball the other day?
[02:33] Yellow
    That must be the Demon Lord...
[02:35] Yellow
    Or actually a background character
    that didn't escape in time.
[02:38] Red
    She's surprisingly cute.
[02:39] Blue
    Really? Isn't that the princess?
[02:42] Red
    Yomi! This is a game where you're
    supposed to save the princess.
[02:44] Red
    There'd be a lot of questions
    if we just opened the gate
[02:46] Red
    and the princess just happened
    to be standing there.
[02:48] Pink
    Hey, hold it!
[02:50] Pink
    Who was it? Who was it?
[02:55] Red
    Sorry, what?
[02:56] Yellow
    You're not a background character?
[02:58] Pink
    Of course not. Can't you
    tell just by looking at me?
[03:01] Pink
    I'm Princess Melody!
[03:03] Blue
    See? I told you.
[03:05] Red
    Hey, Alfa, is this really the princess?
[03:08] Yellow
    Um... Uh...
[03:11] Yellow
    No idea.
[03:13] Blue
    You don't know?
[03:14] Yellow
    My memory's been deleted... or something.
[03:18] Pink
    Are you the AI robot that Papa sent for me?
[03:21] Red
    Yup! That's him!
[03:23] Blue
    So you are the princess.
[03:24] Blue
    But why don't you know each other?
[03:26] Pink
    Huh? Isn't that obvious?
[03:27] Yellow
    U-Um, Princess...
[03:29] Pink
    Well, there're like 500 of these back home.
[03:32] Both
    What?!
[03:36] (Flashback) Pink
    There're like 500... There're like 500...
[03:39] (Flashback) Pink
    There're like 500... There're like 500...
[03:43] Yellow
    Please stahp!
[03:46] Red
    You're the background character!
[03:48] Blue
    There's that many of you?
[03:50] Red
    Do you guys call each other like
    Oso-al, Cho-al, Jyushi-al?
[03:53] Pink
    I think he's more of a Todo-al.
[03:54] Yellow
    Stop! Please!
[03:58] Pink
    So hilarious!
[04:02] Pink
    Who the hell cares?!
[04:05] Pink
    Do you have any idea how long I've
    been waiting? You're so useless!
[04:08] Red
    Useless?
[04:08] Pink
    My heart's not going pitter-patter
    at all. Total fail. Epic fail.
[04:12] Red
    Crap she's using some normie language.
[04:14] Yellow
    Regardless of how you may feel,
    the King is waiting for you.
[04:17] Yellow
    Let us go back to the mansion.
[04:18] Pink
    Good idea. Yeah, I'll go back.
    Yeah, I'll do that.
[04:22] Three
    Huh?
[04:24] Pink
    Okay, start over from the beginning.
[04:25] Pink
    You have to know how to make a
    girl's heart go pitter-patter.
[04:28] Pink
    First impressions are the most important
    in date situations like this.
[04:30] Pink
    Not to mention, having the girl arrive and
    have to wait is totally out of the question.
[04:33] Yellow
    Uh, Princess? You're going over there?
    You're going back that way?
[04:36] Blue
    This is a date?
[04:37] Red
    Have you ever been on one?
[04:38] Blue
    Not sure. What about you?
[04:40] Red
    I'm pretty sure. At least, I'm pretty sure...
[04:41] Red
    I haven't.
[04:42] Pink
    Make my heart flutter next time. Kthxbye!
[04:45] Yellow
    Uh, Princess? Princess!
[04:47] Yellow
    Please wait!
[04:50] Both
    No way!
[04:52] Yellow
    And there you have it. All right.
    Let's go raise our levels!
[04:56] Both
    Like hell!
SIGN    Today's Princess
[04:57] [SONG] Cap
    So tired...
SIGN    Illustration by_Kinoshita Takae
SIGN    gd Men
[05:00] All
    gd Men.
[05:03] Pink
    Before I knew it, I've returned to my cell...
[05:07] Pink
    But I'm not going to give up!
[05:09] Pink
    I'm sure that next time a guy who'll
    make my heart explode will save me!
[05:14] Pink
    Wait, they're coming to save
    me, but I'm going to die?
[05:18] Pink
    No way!
SIGN    Final Episode Speculation Contest
SIGN    Illustration_ Saneyuki-san
[05:23] All
    gd Men!
[05:26] Yellow
    Mission complete! Good work, you two.
[05:31] Red
    Yeah! Good work!
    Wait, is this how it's supposed to end?
[05:35] Blue
    Yeah! We have a whole episode left!
[05:38] Yellow
    Then why don't we
[05:39] Yellow
    do a final episode speculation contest
    with the time we have left over?
[05:43] Red
    Yes! Yes! I'm coming!
[05:45] Blue
    Yeah, that sounds fun.
[05:47] Yellow
    So what should we do for the final episode?
[05:49] Blue
    You know... That princess,
    was like really scary, right?
[05:53] Both
    Yeah.
[05:54] Blue
    And she, like, went back to
    the Demon Lord's castle.
[05:57] Yellow
    Yeah, she did.
[05:58] Blue
    Maybe she's the Demon Lord.
[06:01] Red
    I see.
[06:02] Red
    The old bait and switch!
[06:03] Yellow
    She first acted like the Demon Lord
    that acted like a background character,
[06:05] Yellow
    but was actually the Demon Lord after all.
[06:06] Blue
    Yeah, exactly, and not the princess.
[06:09] Red
    That's actually possible.
[06:10] Blue
    Plausible, right?
[06:12] Yellow
    Not to mention, she basically
    ripped out my heart,
[06:15] Yellow
    so should we off her?
[06:17] Red
    Off her?
[06:18] Yellow
    Want to off the princess?
    No, I mean, the Demon Lord?
[06:20] Blue
    Yeah, but the thing is...
    we're only speculating here.
[06:24] Blue
    For the final episode.
[06:25] Yellow
    I guess that's a possibility,
[06:27] Yellow
    and while we're at it...
[06:30] Yellow
    Don't you guys want a second season?
[06:32] Blue
    You mean we'll keep going?
[06:32] Red
    You're bringing that up now?
[06:34] Yellow
    We can go on another journey,
[06:36] Yellow
    and have this one end like,
    "Their journey still continues."
[06:39] Blue
    So there's no closure?
[06:40] Yellow
    Yeah, because if there's
    closure, it'll all be over.
[06:41] Blue
    Like, "Our journey has only just begun,"
SIGN    Our journey...
SIGN    ...has only just begun!
[06:45] Blue
    and then we get canceled?
[06:46] Yellow
    We'll only make it look
    like we got canceled...
[06:48] Blue
    And then, to be continued?
[06:49] Yellow
    Right. And we'll have the
    princess pop up and say,
[06:52] Yellow
    “Save me, damn it!
    There's a second season!”
[06:53] Blue
    Oh, so she's just gonna say it?
[06:54] Yellow
    Yeah, totally.
[06:55] Yellow
    I'll make her say it.
[06:56] Red
    We'll make it look like we're
    leveling up and then just go back.
[07:00] Yellow
    Yeah.
[07:01] Red
    That sounds like something
    from "Guru Guru."
[07:03] Yellow
    You really love "Guru Guru."
[07:04] Red
    I love it.
[07:05] Yellow
    And also... I might be praising
    myself a bit, but...
[07:08] Yellow
    You know how she said I was just one of 500?
[07:14] Yellow
    That's got me down a bit, you see.
[07:16] Yellow
    And then, everyone will tell me it's okay,
[07:20] Yellow
    and then I'll have a revelation
    that I'm okay the way I am.
[07:22] Yellow
    And then, bam! The sky fills the screen
    and everyone is clapping, like,
[07:27] Yellow
    "Congrats!" "Congrats!" "So happy!" "Bless!"
[07:30] Yellow
    Something like that.
[07:33] Blue
    I see.
[07:34] Yellow
    So, yeah, that.
[07:36] Blue
    That?
[07:37] Yellow
    Thank you to my friends,
    goodbye to the princess.
[07:40] Yellow
    And to all of our viewers...
[07:43] Two
    Congratulations.
[07:43] Red
    Thanks.
[07:44] Red
    Oh, I messed up.
[07:45] Red
    It's a mess!
SIGN    Preview
[08:23] Yellow
    gd Men. Come back again.
    It's all for love.
[08:28] Blue
    Nah.

12 - Level 12: Until We Meet Again

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:35] Yellow
    Now, then...
[00:36] Yellow
    The way home is exactly
    what I explained earlier.
SIGN    Level 12: Until We Meet Again
[00:39] Yellow
    Be careful getting home, you two.
[00:42] Red
    Yes, sir!
[00:42] Red
    It'll be an adventure until I get home!
[00:45] Blue
    Don't forget we all need
    to play Beast Hunter.
[00:48] Yellow
    Yeah, it's a promise.
[00:50] Blue
    Are you going back to the king, Alfa?
[00:53] Yellow
    Yeah. I can't really leave his side, so...
[01:01] Red
    It was a lot of fun, Alfa!
[01:03] Blue
    We were an awesome party!
[01:07] Yellow
    Light, Yomi...
[01:10] Yellow
    Let us meet again.
[01:14] Ram
    Chirp, chirp, tick, tick, tick.
[01:17] Blue
    So, as soon as we go through
    this door, we'll be back home.
[01:20] Red
    We're gonna be stripped naked again.
[01:23] Blue
    What the heck's the point in that?
    Seems pretty useless.
[01:26] Ram
    Light and Yomi, are you ready?
[01:29] Both
    Yup.
[01:30] Ram
    Excellent. I will now open the door.
[01:37] Light
    I wonder if Light got back to the king.
[01:41] Ram
    Alfa 202 is having his memory deleted,
[01:43] Ram
    so he can prepare for his next mission.
[01:47] Both
    Huh?!
[01:51] Rem
    Alfa 202, we will now delete your memory
[01:56] Rem
    and install software needed
    for your next mission.
[02:00] Yellow
    I just have one request.
[02:03] Yellow
    Could I keep my memories of my last party?
[02:08] Rem
    Special requests will not be accepted.
[02:10] Rem
    Is there anything else?
[02:13] Blue
    Alfa 202 is the Alfa we know, right?
[02:17] Blue
    His memory's going to be erased? Wait!
[02:21] Ram
    Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
[02:24] Red
    Hey! Answer us! Hey!
[02:26] Blue
    Light, let's go stop him!
[02:28] Red
    Yeah!
[02:30] Yellow
    Because they are the King's orders,
    I will accept without resisting.
[02:40] Yellow
    Light, Yomi, I'm sorry.
[02:45] Yellow
    I won't be able to play the
    game with you guys after all.
[02:54] Red
    They can't be serious about
    him forgetting everything!
[02:57] Blue
    No way! I don't want that to happen!
[03:05] Red
    Hey, Alfa!
[03:07] Iyami
    Yesh?
[03:08] Blue
    Alfa!
[03:09] Conan
    You dummy.
[03:12] Red
    Where are you, Alfa?!
[03:13] Alfa
    Want you!
[03:14] Alfa
    You idiot!
[03:15] Alfa
    Do you have any balls?!
[03:17] Alfa
    Overwhelming!
[03:18] Alfa
    If you want to become stronger, take this!
[03:20] Blue
    Alfa!
[03:23] Right
    You mad?
[03:24] Left
    Nope.
[03:28] Blue
    Over there!
[03:30] Red
    Hot guy voice!
[03:32] Yellow
    Okay, pay attention.
[03:33] Yellow
    We're going to level you up.
[03:36] Yellow
    Right now, your levels are just...
[03:38] Red
    You know who we are, right?
[03:42] Yellow
    It's still way too early
    to save the princess.
[03:44] Blue
    Hey, look at us!
[03:47] Red
    Why?
[03:49] Red
    Why...
[03:51] Red
    Why...
[03:52] Red
    did you have to have your memory erased?!
[03:58] Blue
    I'd finally made another friend...
[04:06] Yellow
    You guys need to toughen up at least
    to the level of my last party.
[04:11] Yellow
    A guy who suffers from a really
    bad case of delusions of grandeur
[04:13] Yellow
    and a very unenthused little boy.
[04:15] Yellow
    At least that much.
[04:17] Both
    Huh?
[04:19] Yellow
    But seriously...
[04:21] Yellow
    Did you two always cry so easily?
[04:23] Yellow
    That's news to me.
[04:28] Both
    Alfa!
[04:30] Yellow
    Light, Yomi.
[04:35] Yellow
    Hey, calm dow— Hey! Light, calm down.
    Stop moving your hips like that.
[04:40] Yellow
    Yomi! Seriously! Calm them hips! Calm!
[04:43] Yellow
    Gross! So gross!
[04:44] Red
    How can I stay c-c-c-c-calm
    at a time like this.
[04:47] Yomi
    It's the real Alfa!
[04:50] Blue
    Hang on! About what you said earlier...
[04:54] Red
    Hey, you geezer!
[04:55] Red
    Who were you saying suffered
    from delusions of grandeur?!
[04:57] Blue
    And I've always been totally enthusiastic!
[05:00] Yellow
    Hold on, wait, wait— Ow!
[05:02] Yellow
    Stop it!
[05:02] Yellow
    Come on, stop!
[05:04] ---
    Wait! Ow!
[05:06] Yellow
    Break! Break!
SIGN    Our Touching Reunion
[05:07] [SONG] Sign
    (Penned by Alfa)
[05:10] All
    gd Men.
[05:11] Red
    Not happening!
[05:12] Blue
    You even decided the title without asking!
[05:14] Red
    Give us back our tears!
[05:17] Blue
    I'm not going to stop hitting
    you until you cry, Alfa!
[05:28] Yellow
    Stop it! Seriously!
[05:30] Red
    Bring it on!
[05:35] Yellow
    Ow, ow, ow!
[05:37] Yellow
    You guys are creeping me out!
[05:42] Yellow
    What the hell are you doing?!
[05:45] Yellow
    Seriously, stop! Please?
[05:50] Yellow
    Stop!
[05:51] Yellow
    You want to go on an adventure, right?
[05:54] Red
    Yup.
[05:55] Blue
    Yup.
[05:55] Yellow
    Okay... Then, let's go.
SIGN    Today's Crystal
[06:02] All
    gd Men!
[06:05] Blue
    Hey, the rod.
[06:07] Alfa
    It's the last episode.
    There's nothing to fear!
[06:10] Blue
    What is this?
    We're supposed to voice this?
[06:13] Red
    Well, there are three of them.
[06:15] Yellow
    Hey.
[06:16] Both
    What?
[06:16] Yellow
    I'm gonna play the cop.
[06:18] Red
    The human...
[06:20] Blue
    He took the human.
[06:20] Red
    Then I'll be the black wagyu cow.
[06:23] Yellow
    The wagyu?
[06:23] Blue
    Then, uh, the Holstein?
[06:26] Red
    You got something hanging down
    there. Can you handle it?
[06:28] Blue
    It's poking out.
[06:28] Yellow
    That's the tail.
[06:29] Red
    No, there's totally something
    before the tail. Protrusions.
[06:32] Blue
    Yeah, yeah.
[06:32] Yellow
    Okay, let's start, let's start, let's start.
[06:34] Blue
    Okay.
[06:36] Yellow
    So, you two...
[06:38] Blue
    Hm?
[06:39] Yellow
    Is this your first time here?
[06:41] Red
    Yeah, it totally is. Listen to this!
[06:46] Red
    Horupi here keeps saying that she
    runs into gropers every morning.
[06:48] Yellow
    Oh, Horupi-san...
[06:51] Blue
    Yeah.
[06:51] Yellow
    Yeah, that's not good.
[06:53] Red
    Go on, tell him, Horupi.
[06:55] Blue
    So, like, every morning,
[06:57] Blue
    I keep getting groped.
[06:58] Red
    They grope her!
[07:00] Blue
    They grab my teats.
[07:01] Red
    And what comes out when
    they grab your teats.
[07:04] Blue
    They use hands and machines to grab them.
[07:06] Yellow
    That, uh, that sounds intense...
[07:09] Blue
    A white fluid. White fluid comes out.
[07:12] Red
    It just goes everywhere, sir.
[07:14] Yellow
    So, uh... I want to confirm
    a few things, but...
[07:16] blue
    Yes?
[07:18] yellow
    Is it okay that I assume that
    you're a female, Horupi-san?
[07:21] Blue
    Yes.
[07:22] Yellow
    You're female...
[07:24] Yellow
    But white stuff comes out.
[07:25] Blue
    Yes.
[07:26] Red
    Why are you asking something so obvious?!
[07:28] Blue
    What are you talking about?!
[07:29] Blue
    I'm the victim here! How rude!
[07:31] Yellow
    Yes, you're right. Please calm down.
[07:33] Red
    Sir!
[07:34] ---
    Yes, yes.
[07:36] Blue
    Can we talk to a lady officer?
[07:37] Yellow
    Uh, I'm sorry. I'm currently
    the only one here right now.
[07:43] Yellow
    So are you with her when
    this happens, Cowchi-san?
[07:47] Red
    Of course I am!
    Because I'm always groping her.
[07:50] Yellow
    Oh, I see...
[07:50] Blue
    Oh, stop.
[07:52] Red
    Oh, come on.
[07:54] Red
    Maybe I'll just come out and say it.
[07:58] Yellow
    Are you two hungry? You okay?
[08:00] Yellow
    Would you like some beef bowls?
[08:03] Red
    Beef bowls! Sounds great!
[08:04] Blue
    What are you talking about?
[08:05] Red
    What are you talking about?
[08:06] Blue
    What do you mean, "beef bowls?"
[08:08] Red
    Look at us!
[08:09] Blue
    Isn't that a bit rude?
[08:11] Yellow
    Oh, I'm so sorry.
[08:12] Blue
    Ugh, this is the worst.
[08:13] Blue
    You suck.
[08:14] Red
    You are so useless!
[08:16] Yellow
    Please, I really am sorry.
[08:17] Red
    Well, we're gonna go eat
    some grass now. See ya!
SIGN    To all our viewers:
SIGN    Thank you