9 - A Hushed and Crabby Love Song

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:36] ---
    "FIRST LOVE MONSTER"
[01:48] ---
    "A Hushed and Crabby Love Song"
[01:54] ---
    Well, here I am.\n
[01:58] ---
    Hello?\n
[02:05] ---
    Father? Mother?\n
[02:20] ---
    Is this...\n
[02:21] ---
    "Kaho's Room"
[02:39] ---
    Kaho!\n
[02:40] ---
    Kaho! Kaho!\n
[02:43] ---
    My brother! What are you doing here?\n
[02:45] ---
    You're back from America?\n
[02:48] ---
    Yes, my project has slowed down a bit.\n
[02:51] ---
    But once I arrived, I found my dear\nKaho had moved out on her own,\n
[02:55] ---
    with Father and the rest gone\nto some random villa or the like.\n
[02:59] ---
    The place is utterly deserted!\n
[03:02] ---
    And so you got in touch with me.\n
[03:06] ---
    From all your phone messages\nand telegrams, it seemed serious.\n
[03:10] ---
    I got worried and came by.\n
[03:12] ---
    It all worked out.\n
[03:14] ---
    It brought us siblings\ntogether again, just the two of us--\n
[03:17] ---
    and for that, I'm glad.\n
[03:19] ---
    But, hey, what's with all these kokeshi dolls?
[03:24] ---
    Yes--aren't they all so adorable?\n
[03:27] ---
    There are lots of theories behind kokeshi,
[03:29] ---
    but I like the one where the\nname means "child transformed."\n
[03:33] ---
    When I could not cherish you, I would make a kokeshi, coo over it,
[03:38] ---
    and distract myself from my loneliness.\n
[03:40] ---
    Oh, but today is the best day ever for me!\n
[03:45] ---
    I am grateful, ever so grateful that you have come, Kaho!
[03:52] ---
    Why did you leave this place\nand start living on your own?\n
[03:57] ---
    I thought it over, in my way.\n
[04:00] ---
    I... I... I'm so sad.\n
[04:04] ---
    My darling delicate Kaho,\nsullied and shattered in the big city...\n
[04:09] ---
    It made me realize that I'd grown\ntoo dependent on you and my family\n
[04:14] ---
    as you tried to protect me.\n
[04:16] ---
    Please, depend on me! Lean on me so hard...
[04:23] ---
    It's not just that. All my own problems...\n
[04:28] ---
    I blamed them on my family, on everyone else.\n
[04:31] ---
    I'm sorry.\n
[04:33] ---
    By all means, go ahead and blame me.\n
[04:37] ---
    It's all my fault. I went to America\n
[04:42] ---
    and couldn't rescue you\nwhen you were in anguish.\n
[04:45] ---
    No, it's not your fault.\n
[04:50] ---
    You know, I've been wondering.\n
[04:54] ---
    Why exactly did you go to America, anyway?\n
[04:57] ---
    Mother and Father said they didn't\nknow the reasons behind it, either.\n
[05:02] ---
    Oh, never mind about me!\n
[05:07] ---
    H-How about we watch some TV? Hmm?\n
[05:13] ---
    ♪ C-C-C-Crab! ♪\n
[05:17] ---
    ♪ C-C-C-Crabbity crab! ♪\n
[05:20] ---
    ♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab! ♪\n
[05:24] ---
    ♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab crab! ♪\n
[05:27] ---
    --♪ Let's eat crab ♪\n
[05:28] ---
    --I know--\n--♪ Let's eat crab ♪\n
[05:29] ---
    --tonight we shall dine on beautiful Echizen crab!\n--♪ Let's eat crab ♪\n
[05:32] ---
    --Oh, my!\n--♪ Let's eat crab ♪\n
[05:34] ---
    ♪ C-C-C-Crab! ♪\n
[05:37] ---
    --Crab, crab, crab...\n--♪ C-C-C-Crabbity crab! ♪\n
[05:46] ---
    Hey, where'd you get this car?\n
[05:49] ---
    It's a rental.\n
[05:51] ---
    You rented it for me?\n
[05:54] ---
    Guess so.\n
[05:55] ---
    Why are you so nice to me, anyway?\n
[06:01] ---
    I lost my mom, too, when I was about your age.\n
[06:07] ---
    Seeing you reminds me of my childhood...\n
[06:12] ---
    And I can't let you be.\n
[06:14] ---
    Huh. But you sure are mean to Kaho.\n
[06:18] ---
    It's not like she's the only one I'm mean to.\n
[06:23] ---
    The woman my dad remarried was like that.\n
[06:28] ---
    I hate wishy-washy women.\n
[06:30] ---
    Wishy-washy? But Kaho...\n
[06:42] ---
    "Kanazawa - Toyama" "Takaoka"
[06:44] ---
    "Nikaido"
[06:45] ---
    Come, you must be hungry.\nDinner is ready at last.\n
[06:49] ---
    I had no time to prepare--\n
[06:51] ---
    I'm afraid this meager meal\nis all the caterer could offer.\n
[06:54] ---
    Our household's sensibilities\nare as wonky as ever.\n
[06:58] ---
    It's just right. Let's dig in!\n
[07:01] ---
    Bon appétit.\n
[07:07] ---
    That seasoned seaweed would remind me of Kanade...
[07:12] ---
    Wh-What is it?\n
[07:14] ---
    Gimme your seaweed.\n
[07:15] ---
    Oh, uh, here.\n
[07:17] ---
    Thank you!\n
[07:19] ---
    Was it not to your liking?\n
[07:22] ---
    It was.\n
[07:34] ---
    Kaho sucked on these very crab shells\nwith her own darling mouth.\n
[07:40] ---
    And this is the pit from the picked plum\n
[07:43] ---
    that Kaho placed in\nher mouth and licked all over!\n
[07:50] ---
    Daikoku?\n
[07:52] ---
    How did you find your bath?\n
[07:54] ---
    Thanks for letting me go first. It felt great.\n
[07:58] ---
    Good to hear. You must be exhausted.\n
[08:02] ---
    I used a futon dryer to\nget your bed nice and fluffy.\n
[08:08] ---
    Um... I'm going back to Tokyo tomorrow.\n
[08:12] ---
    To Tokyo?! No! Just a little longer?\n
[08:17] ---
    You came all this way--why\nnot take it easy for a while?\n
[08:20] ---
    This just... feels like I'm running away.\n
[08:24] ---
    Running away? What from?\n
[08:27] ---
    Sorry--I am exhausted. I'm turning in.
[08:31] ---
    Good night.\n
[08:35] ---
    Good night, Kaho.\n
[08:43] ---
    It's not like I'll have any messages... right?\n
[08:51] ---
    Kaho seemed a little off somehow.\n
[08:58] ---
    What on earth happened to her in Tokyo?\n
[09:13] ---
    A doting brother such as\nmyself cannot help but worry.\n
[09:19] ---
    Good morning!\n
[09:21] ---
    Good morning, Kaho. Breakfast is served.\n
[09:29] ---
    Starting the day with another feast, I see.\n
[09:32] ---
    You seemed a bit unwell yesterday,\n
[09:35] ---
    so I put in a special order with the caterer\n
[09:37] ---
    for snapping-turtle soup and roast eel on rice.\n
[09:40] ---
    Huh? I... I seemed unwell?\n
[09:44] ---
    Correct. You may put on a\nbrave face, but your brother can tell.\n
[09:50] ---
    Kaho... was it something\npainful that sent you back here?\n
[09:57] ---
    G-Good morning, Kanade!\n
[10:02] ---
    I can't hide anything from you, huh.\n
[10:05] ---
    Well, I have been looking out for my darling sister all this time.
[10:10] ---
    The truth is...\n
[10:14] ---
    I fell in love.\n
[10:16] ---
    Love?!\n
[10:18] ---
    Yes. My first love.\n
[10:20] ---
    And this rogue is in Tokyo?\n
[10:23] ---
    What's his occupation? His pedigree?\n
[10:26] ---
    He must be quite the smooth\ncustomer to win your heart!\n
[10:30] ---
    Oh, um, actually, it's over. I've been dumped.\n
[10:35] ---
    Dumped?!\n
[10:37] ---
    It can't be! There are villains in this world who would dump Kaho?!
[10:48] ---
    Kaho! Come out and play!\n
[10:51] ---
    Huh? That voice...\n
[10:54] ---
    Is that Kanade?\n
[10:58] ---
    "Nikaido"
[10:59] ---
    "Nikaido"\nKaho! Come out and play!\n
[11:02] ---
    You came to play?
[11:04] ---
    So what should I say?\n
[11:06] ---
    Kaho! Come out and make up!\n
[11:14] ---
    Kaho isn't here right now.\n
[11:16] ---
    When is she coming back?\n
[11:17] ---
    She's never coming back.
[11:20] ---
    Daikoku! What are you doing?!\n
[11:23] ---
    Hey, Kaho is too here!
[11:25] ---
    Kanade! And Taga...\n
[11:28] ---
    What are you doing here, Kanade?\n
[11:31] ---
    I came to see you.\nTo tell you how I really feel.\n
[11:38] ---
    Wait!\n
[11:39] ---
    You lied. And you keep getting in the way.\n
[11:43] ---
    I beg your pardon?\n
[11:45] ---
    Oh, Daikoku, this is--\n
[11:48] ---
    Who are you, anyway?
[11:49] ---
    Who are you?
[11:51] ---
    Her brother!\n
[11:52] ---
    Her ex-boyfriend!\n
[11:53] ---
    Her ex, eh? I've heard about you!
[11:56] ---
    The shiftless fiend who dumped Kaho!\nI will not forgive you!\n
[12:02] ---
    Kaho! Let's talk over there, alone.\n
[12:06] ---
    I won't let you! You'll go off\ninto the shadows, just you two,\n
[12:11] ---
    and you'll sm-sm-sm-*smooch *or something, I know it!
[12:15] ---
    Smooch? Oh, we've done that already.\n
[12:22] ---
    I-I won't allow it!\nI'm her brother, and I say no!\n
[12:25] ---
    We shall have a proper duel!\n
[12:28] ---
    A duel?\n
[12:31] ---
    Red Light, Green Light!\n
[12:34] ---
    Gr--\n
[12:35] ---
    Green light... red light!\n
[12:41] ---
    --Green light...\n--This confrontation of the century,\n
[12:44] ---
    with Kaho on the line,\nis "Red Light, Green Light"?!\n
[12:46] ---
    Green light...\n
[12:48] ---
    So you say, but you sure\nare going along with it.\n
[12:52] ---
    And just who in blazes are you?\n
[12:54] ---
    Red light!\n
[12:56] ---
    Phooey--no one's moving!\n
[12:59] ---
    Green light...\n
[13:03] ---
    Daikoku, that's Taga.\nWe live in the same building.\n
[13:07] ---
    The same building?\n
[13:08] ---
    Don't fret: I have zero interest in your sister.\n
[13:13] ---
    Red light!\n
[13:15] ---
    Green light...\n
[13:17] ---
    I don't know whether to be relieved\nor insulted by your rudeness.\n
[13:21] ---
    Kaho is super-cute!\n
[13:24] ---
    ...and... red light!\n
[13:27] ---
    --Green light...\n--Say, why is that ex-boyfriend wearing gym clothes?\n
[13:35] ---
    Is it that--that "cosplay" thing?\n
[13:37] ---
    Believe it or not,\nhe's in fifth grade. Primary school.\n
[13:41] ---
    Red light!\n
[13:42] ---
    Fifth grade, with that appearance?\nEnough with your joking around!\n
[13:47] ---
    Ask your sister if I'm joking.\n
[13:51] ---
    Red light!\n
[13:54] ---
    K-Kaho's first love is in primary school...\n
[13:58] ---
    How could I let such a thing\nhappen to my beloved Kaho?\n
[14:09] ---
    Red light!\n
[14:10] ---
    I, Daikoku Nikaido, have made\nthe biggest mistake in all my 29 years!\n
[14:15] ---
    Ha! Out! Kaho's brother moved!\n
[14:23] ---
    Kaho, why were you dating a primary-schooler?!\n
[14:28] ---
    I don't have a reason. I just came to like him.\n
[14:33] ---
    And you even sm-sm-sm-smooched, too, didn't you?
[14:37] ---
    But Kanade's dumped me, so...\n
[14:42] ---
    Huh! Hey, dummy, why do you\nthink Kanade came here, then?\n
[14:48] ---
    Huh?\n
[14:49] ---
    Red light!\n
[14:51] ---
    Why? Um...\n
[14:53] ---
    Ha! Kaho moved, too!\n
[14:57] ---
    All right! Atsushi's the only one left.\n
[15:01] ---
    Green light...\n
[15:05] ---
    Okay, you're cut loose.\n
[15:07] ---
    Aw, rats!\n
[15:12] ---
    So I win.\n
[15:15] ---
    Since I'm the winner,\nI'll take this idiot girl here.\n
[15:20] ---
    Not so fast! You just said you\nhad zero interest in Kaho!\n
[15:25] ---
    I don't, but I'll take my prize.\n
[15:29] ---
    Even if it's a consolation pack of tissues.\n
[15:31] ---
    Tissues?\n
[15:33] ---
    You can't!\n
[15:36] ---
    Hmm? Refusing to admit you've lost?\n
[15:39] ---
    Doesn't that go against what\nyour mother told you, Kanade?\n
[15:44] ---
    Oh--bring up his mother, and Kanade will...\n
[15:49] ---
    It does, but...\n
[15:51] ---
    But...?\n
[15:54] ---
    But I still can't hand\nKaho over to you, Atsushi.\n
[16:00] ---
    I get it now.\n
[16:03] ---
    My world without Kaho\n
[16:06] ---
    was like a hell ruled by\nthe Dreadlock Lord of Darkness!\n
[16:10] ---
    Ooh, Kanade, so close.\nYou don't need that "-lock" in there!\n
[16:16] ---
    I want to see you, talk to you, every day.\n
[16:20] ---
    I love you, Kaho!\n
[16:23] ---
    Kanade!\n
[16:24] ---
    Rich words coming from\nsomeone who used Kaho so!\n
[16:33] ---
    Boy, are you easy.\n
[16:35] ---
    Dumped. Depressed. And a single\n"I love you" gets you all moony.\n
[16:38] ---
    Cheap as breadcrusts sold for a dime.\n
[16:42] ---
    And yet you get so full of yourself\nwhen the ducks at the park swarm you.\n
[16:47] ---
    That's why I'm itching to make you\nsee that you're nothing but breadcrumbs.\n
[16:50] ---
    How rude! If Kaho were bread,\nshe'd be a top-shelf baguette!\n
[16:55] ---
    No, a fried bun!\n
[16:58] ---
    Either way, what, she's still bread?\n
[17:00] ---
    Pardon me?! Your attitude is the very definition\n
[17:02] ---
    of how one teases the girl he loves!\n
[17:05] ---
    Perhaps you do care for Kaho after all!
[17:08] ---
    Is it true, Atsushi?\nIs that why you came with me?\n
[17:13] ---
    I see... I hadn't realized it, but maybe I do.\n
[17:20] ---
    Maybe I bully her because I love her.\n
[17:23] ---
    Yes, I love this stupid, simple, wishy-washy,\n
[17:26] ---
    moldy breadcrumb of a girl,\nnot even fit to feed ducks.\n
[17:31] ---
    That's not something\nyou say to the girl you love.\n
[17:35] ---
    Taga's found a whole new game, that's all.\n
[17:40] ---
    I want to hear what Kaho has to say.\n
[17:43] ---
    I love you!\n
[17:44] ---
    I want you to go out with me again.\n
[17:48] ---
    Kaho!\n
[17:49] ---
    Don't be taken in by his sweet-talking!\n
[17:51] ---
    I... I can't go back to the way we were, Kanade.\n
[17:55] ---
    You're not being taken in?
[17:59] ---
    Daikoku... I'd like to speak with Kanade alone.\n
[18:06] ---
    The thing is, I do love you, Kanade.\n
[18:12] ---
    But...\n
[18:13] ---
    But I'm a kid, and too selfish?\n
[18:17] ---
    The way it stands now, we'll just\nkeep repeating the same old things.\n
[18:21] ---
    I don't want to be hurt...\n
[18:24] ---
    and I think I'll start doubting your feelings.\n
[18:28] ---
    Then I'll turn into a grown-up you can trust!\n
[18:33] ---
    I like you the way you are now.\nNo need to grow up in any hurry.\n
[18:39] ---
    What I love is you just as you are.\n
[18:44] ---
    Then what should I do?\n
[18:47] ---
    Do you remember?\n
[18:50] ---
    The day I met you?\n
[18:55] ---
    Falling in love with you made me realize:\n
[18:59] ---
    I knew I couldn't stay the same,\n
[19:02] ---
    that I would have to change.\n
[19:06] ---
    You don't get it at all!\n
[19:08] ---
    If you like me the way I am, I like you the way you are!
[19:12] ---
    Let's stay together.\n
[19:15] ---
    Our combo moves will\ngive a huge boost to our power\n
[19:17] ---
    and our special attacks!
[19:19] ---
    What is he talking about?\n
[19:22] ---
    I saw it at the school arts\nfestival in third grade:\n
[19:25] ---
    the prince and princess,\nbound together for eternity.\n
[19:31] ---
    So: You fell in love with me,\na primary-schooler. What now?\n
[19:36] ---
    My heart's pounding so fast,\nand I love Kanade so much...\n
[19:41] ---
    I don't care what anyone says.\nI want to be with him!\n
[19:47] ---
    Okay, listen to this:\n
[19:50] ---
    To Kaho, at 15:\n
[19:51] ---
    "Love Song to Kaho."\n
[19:56] ---
    What is this?\n
[19:58] ---
    It's not excitement...\n
[20:00] ---
    ♪ Your love alone is like ♪\n
[20:02] ---
    ♪ 110 million times the power ♪\n
[20:05] ---
    ♪ No one can steal it away ♪\n
[20:08] ---
    ♪ Not even the ogres of hell ♪\n
[20:11] ---
    ♪ It's not that I got hurt ♪\n
[20:14] ---
    ♪ I hurt you--now ♪\n
[20:17] ---
    ♪ And then tumbled into hell ♪\n
[20:22] ---
    ♪ Kaho! Woo! ♪\n
[20:25] ---
    ♪ It's not subtraction, no ♪\n
[20:28] ---
    ♪ Me! Woo! ♪\n
[20:31] ---
    ♪ It's addition--no, more like ♪\n
[20:34] ---
    ♪ Multiplication, right? ♪\n
[20:37] ---
    ♪ Your warmth ♪\n
[20:40] ---
    ♪ Your upper arms ♪\n
[20:42] ---
    ♪ Your skin ♪\n
[20:44] ---
    ♪ Skin, fin, fif--fifteen! ♪\n
[20:48] ---
    ♪ Now all you have to do is nod ♪\n
[20:54] ---
    ♪ My ticket out of hell--get you! ♪\n
[20:59] ---
    ♪ So say "yeah" and get a smooch! ♪\n
[21:09] ---
    Kaho, let's get married!\n
[22:57] ---
    ♪ C-C-C-Crab! ♪\n
[23:00] ---
    ♪ C-C-C-Crabbity crab! ♪\n
[23:04] ---
    ♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab! ♪\n
[23:07] ---
    ♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab crab! ♪\n
[23:11] ---
    ♪ Let's eat crab ♪\n
[23:18] ---
    ♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab! ♪\n
[23:21] ---
    ♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab crab! ♪\n
[23:22] ---
    "Echizen Crab Board" ♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab crab! ♪
[23:25] ---
    Renren here!\n
[23:26] ---
    Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:29] ---
    "After Kanade's proposal, Kaho returns to Kasumi House in a daze,"
[23:30] ---
    "where she's shocked to find another couple preparing to walk down the aisle!"
[23:31] ---
    All on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:
[23:34] ---
    "A Proper Rom-Com For Once"!\n
[23:37] ---
    And now for a match! Renren, chon!\n


Revision #1
Created 2026-06-20 19:45:43 UTC by whimsee
Updated 2026-06-20 19:45:44 UTC by whimsee