5 - I Know--To the Bath House!
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:26] ---
N-Not there!\n
[00:27] ---
Look, Kaho--look how hard this is here.\n
[00:36] ---
Wh-What are they doing in there? I mean, what are they doing in there?
[00:41] ---
And what are you doing, hmm?
[00:43] ---
Yikes! Um, well, I...\n
[00:46] ---
Feel good, Kaho?\n
[00:48] ---
How about here? How's this feel?\n
[00:50] ---
Hey, Chiaki--\n
[00:51] ---
Coming in!\n
[00:53] ---
What's going on?\n
[00:55] ---
A massage!\n
[00:58] ---
Huh?\n
[01:04] ---
Kaho looked tired. Mom did this for me a lot.\n
[01:09] ---
Too bad, Shinohara.\n
[01:11] ---
It was much more wholesome than\nwhatever you were picturing outside.\n
[01:17] ---
Thanks, Kanade.\n
[01:19] ---
Kaho, you're still tired.\n
[01:20] ---
Huh?\n
[01:22] ---
That means...\n
[01:23] ---
"Pair Ticket - The Relaxabath Kurhaus"\n...it's time for my ultimate weapon!\n
[01:27] ---
"Super Bath House"\nTo the super bath house!\n
[01:50] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[03:00] ---
"The Relaxabath Kurhaus"\n
[03:02] ---
"I Know--To the Bath House!"\n
[03:12] ---
So this is a super bath house?\n
[03:17] ---
I bet Kanade looks great in swim trunks, too.\n
[03:22] ---
Oh, cut it out!\n
[03:23] ---
Men and women bathe together?!\n
[03:26] ---
First time, huh, Kaho?\n
[03:28] ---
Oh--yeah!\n
[03:30] ---
Kaho!\n
[03:39] ---
Kanade's really going\nall-out--in more ways than one.\n
[03:43] ---
Kaho, Kaho--what bath should we try first?\n
[03:45] ---
Hold it!\n
[03:46] ---
Kanade, take off the goggles.\nNo swimming here!\n
[03:49] ---
Aw!\n
[03:50] ---
And have you primary-school kids\ngone to the bathroom?\n
[03:54] ---
If you haven't, go now!\nKids have to go before a bath!\n
[03:58] ---
Hmm. Your telling us\nthat has made me need to go.\n
[04:02] ---
Ha ha! Poop! Poop! Pooper-man!\n
[04:05] ---
Primary-school boys sure do like poop, huh.\n
[04:09] ---
Huh?!\n
[04:10] ---
I'm not a little kid, so I don't like poop.\n
[04:13] ---
And I would never mistake poop for chocolate!
[04:18] ---
Kanade... no one would say\nthat unless it had happened.\n
[04:23] ---
Kanade.\n
[04:26] ---
Quit spouting nonsense,\nKanade. To the restroom.\n
[04:29] ---
Aw!\n
[04:30] ---
"No Running in the Hallway!"\n
[04:30] ---
"No Running in the Hallway!"\nEnough! We're all going!\n
[04:32] ---
'Kaaay.\n
[04:35] ---
Uh, Miss Nikaido, sorry to tag along...\n
[04:41] ---
Huh?\n
[04:41] ---
I-I mean, barging in on your date and all...\n
[04:47] ---
Oh, right... this is a date, isn't it?
[04:51] ---
Huh?\n
[04:52] ---
You are such a masochist.
[04:57] ---
Kanade...\n
[05:00] ---
This really holds the boys in place!\n
[05:01] ---
Nice!\n
[05:03] ---
I've been taking these huge steps,\nand my wner hasn't budged!\n
[05:06] ---
Those're some powerful trunks!\n
[05:08] ---
What if I did a cartwheel?\n
[05:10] ---
Ah!\n
[05:14] ---
Nothing.\n
[05:15] ---
Whoa!\n
[05:17] ---
A-hup!\n
[05:18] ---
It's staying put!\n
[05:21] ---
My wner's not moving!\n
[05:26] ---
Wow! They have so many different baths!\n
[05:30] ---
Indeed. You see why a\nprimary-schooler would like it.\n
[05:33] ---
What's keeping Kanade and the others?\n
[05:36] ---
They're probably playing some dumb game.\n
[05:38] ---
I'll go check.\n
[05:42] ---
Since we're here and all,\nI'd like to be with Kanade.\n
[05:47] ---
Bare butt.\n
[05:48] ---
Bare buttocks.\n
[05:49] ---
Bare behind!\n
[05:51] ---
Butt plus butt makes double-butt buds!\n
[05:54] ---
Ow! Don't do it for real!\n
[06:01] ---
Where could Kanade be?\n
[06:08] ---
Huh? Kanade?\n
[06:15] ---
Didn't yer folks tell ya it's\ndangerous to be runnin' like that?\n
[06:20] ---
Oh, I'm sorry--thanks for helping me.\n
[06:25] ---
What's yer name, miss?\n
[06:28] ---
Huh? Oh, it's Kaho Nikaido--\n
[06:30] ---
I'm in love!\n
[06:32] ---
--Wh-What?! Wait wait wait!\n--'S like a jolt of electricity! This is fate!\n
[06:36] ---
Hey! Who are you?\n
[06:38] ---
Kanade!\n
[06:39] ---
You got a lot of nerve\nmessing with my girlfriend!\n
[06:42] ---
Kanade!\n
[06:44] ---
You!\n
[06:46] ---
So? You gonna bring it?\n
[06:47] ---
I'm not!
[06:49] ---
There comes a time when a man must fight.\n
[06:52] ---
Hey, I thought I recognized\nthat voice. If it ain't Kanade!\n
[06:56] ---
'S me! Me! Didja forget?\n
[07:00] ---
It's the Naniwa Speed Coaster: Joji Takahashi!\n
[07:04] ---
Bro!\n
[07:06] ---
--What does he mean, "Bro"?!\n--Been a year, huh? What's goin' on?\n
[07:09] ---
Ya got way too big there, kid!\n
[07:11] ---
I'm having a growth spurt!\n
[07:14] ---
Are ya, now!\n
[07:15] ---
He's a tad bigger than any\ngrowth spurt could explain away...\n
[07:20] ---
Karma. Reincarnation.\nLong-lost brothers, reunited at last!\n
[07:24] ---
Guided by the cosmos!\n
[07:26] ---
Hey, Kanade!\n
[07:27] ---
I've known you since kindergarten,\n
[07:29] ---
but this is the first I've heard of any brother.\n
[07:31] ---
Just who is this "Bro" fellow?\n
[07:33] ---
Who, me?\n
[07:34] ---
What? So he isn't his big brother after all?\n
[07:36] ---
So who is this guy, with his Osaka drawl?
[07:40] ---
I'm his cousin--Kanade's cousin, Joji Takahashi.\n
[07:44] ---
--Tada!\n--Just call me Joji, the Naniwa Speed Coaster!\n
[07:48] ---
I'm Tom!\n
[07:49] ---
Gin!\n
[07:50] ---
--Kaho-yan! --Uh, yeah?
[07:52] ---
Wh-What the--?! I've never been called that before!
[07:56] ---
Kanade's a good guy,\nbut he's a kid! In fifth grade!\n
[07:59] ---
Why're ya datin' him?
[08:00] ---
Huh?!\n
[08:02] ---
Huh?\n
[08:03] ---
Date me instead.\n
[08:04] ---
U-Um, but--\n
[08:07] ---
I'm more grown-up!\n
[08:09] ---
I-I love him is why. I love Kanade!\n
[08:13] ---
Aw, who cares 'bout that?\n
[08:15] ---
Er, how old are you, Joji?\n
[08:20] ---
Eh?\n
[08:21] ---
Sixth grade!\n
[08:23] ---
I figured as much.\n
[08:25] ---
And... it says so right there.\n
[08:26] ---
"Joji Takahashi - 6th-Grader"\nAnd... it says so right there.\n
[08:28] ---
Oh, there's Kanade!\n
[08:30] ---
Are there more of them now?\n
[08:32] ---
I told you, Bro--\n
[08:34] ---
Kaho's my girlfriend!\n
[08:36] ---
One woman, two men. Y'know what that means.
[08:40] ---
What?\n
[08:41] ---
Who?\n
[08:42] ---
Where?\n
[08:43] ---
Why me?\n
[08:44] ---
We battle!\n
[08:45] ---
"Battle"\nWe battle!\n
[08:46] ---
"Battle"\nWhaaat?!\n
[08:51] ---
You ready, Bro?\n
[08:53] ---
Ready!\n
[08:54] ---
Whoever gets the swimcap wins!\n
[08:57] ---
Arashi, this has nothing to do with us!\n
[09:00] ---
Why are we the horses?\n
[09:02] ---
I didn't think we'd have any say in the matter.\n
[09:05] ---
Okay, here goes!\n
[09:09] ---
What'll I do?\n
[09:10] ---
Leave them alone.\n
[09:16] ---
--Where'd Kaz get that elegant setup?\n--Makurazaki, offer the ladies tea, too.\n
[09:20] ---
Yes, sir.\n
[09:22] ---
So he has a butler.\n
[09:24] ---
"Munemitsu Makurazaki - Butler"\n
[09:26] ---
In my experience, when you hang out with fools,\n
[09:30] ---
you get caught in the crossfire.\n
[09:32] ---
In my experience,\njust pretend you don't know them.\n
[09:38] ---
Tom, Gin, turn right!\n
[09:41] ---
Roger!\n
[09:42] ---
Things are really amped up\nnow that Kanade's seen Joji\n
[09:45] ---
for the first time in a while.\n
[09:48] ---
This should be fun!\n
[09:49] ---
Here we go! My killer move: the head-grab!\n
[09:56] ---
Got it! We won!\n
[09:59] ---
Say what?!\n
[10:05] ---
Those're swim trunks! But whose?\n
[10:09] ---
I saw that! They're Kota Shinohara's!\n
[10:12] ---
--No pants, no pants, no-pants Kota!\n
[10:14] ---
--Stop that! You guys!\n--No pants, no pants, no-pants Kota!\n
[10:15] ---
--Stop that! You guys!\n--Butt! Butt! Kota's b--\n
[10:19] ---
Hey, are you in high school?\n
[10:21] ---
Nope!\n
[10:22] ---
College, then? Either way,\ncould you quit fooling around?\n
[10:27] ---
You're too grown-up for that.\n
[10:29] ---
We're not grown-up yet!\n
[10:31] ---
Huh?\n
[10:33] ---
--Sorry! We're sorry! We're sorry!\n--We're really sorry!\n
[10:36] ---
So hey, Bro, what are you doing in Tokyo?\n
[10:40] ---
I'm a traveler. I've forsaken my home.\n
[10:46] ---
Truth is, Moms tossed out\nall o' my Pachimon cards.\n
[10:52] ---
She what?!
[10:55] ---
Y-You mean, that happens?!\n
[10:57] ---
Mothers are fearsome creatures\nwho can, from time to time,\n
[11:01] ---
perform such atrocities without batting an eye.\n
[11:05] ---
My brothers!\n
[11:08] ---
That's Kanade's cousin for you:\na man of discriminating tastes!\n
[11:11] ---
That's Kanade's friends for ya!
[11:14] ---
Let's take a bath together\nas a sign of our reconciliation!\n
[11:17] ---
Yeah!\n
[11:18] ---
Have they made up?\n
[11:20] ---
Kaho!\n
[11:23] ---
Kaho, come here!\n
[11:26] ---
O-Okay!\n
[11:30] ---
"Coffee Bath"\n
[11:44] ---
Kanade...\n
[11:45] ---
Barista--the usual.\n
[11:47] ---
Chomolungma, sir?\n
[11:49] ---
Everest, duh!\n
[11:50] ---
Kilimanjaro!\n
[11:52] ---
The Kilimanjaro jar, yo!\n
[11:56] ---
The Kilimanjaro jar, yo!\n
[11:59] ---
Jar, yo! Jar, yo!\n
[12:03] ---
"The Relaxabath Kurhaus"\n
[12:04] ---
It's gotten darker, so you kids be careful.\n
[12:08] ---
We'll be fine.\n
[12:09] ---
Makurazaki will take us home.\n
[12:11] ---
Kanade! Bye-bye-banana!\n
[12:13] ---
Banana-nana buttface!\n
[12:14] ---
Whoa!\n
[12:15] ---
Huh?\n
[12:16] ---
--Made you look!\n--Wha--?!\n
[12:18] ---
Dang it!\n
[12:23] ---
The dinosaur bath really did\nit for me. What about you, Kaho?\n
[12:27] ---
Let's see...\n
[12:28] ---
Maybe the diet cola bath?\n
[12:30] ---
You feel a little better now?\n
[12:32] ---
Yeah!\n
[12:34] ---
Kanade.\n
[12:36] ---
And Kaho-yan. Can I have a word with ya?
[12:51] ---
A-Are you sure it's okay\nfor us to be following them?\n
[12:54] ---
I mean, it's way too amusing to ignore.\n
[12:57] ---
Besides, that's rich coming\nfrom an inveterate eavesdropper.\n
[13:07] ---
So what's this about?\n
[13:09] ---
I said I came to Tokyo 'cause\nMoms threw out all my cards, right?\n
[13:14] ---
Yeah?\n
[13:15] ---
But...\n
[13:18] ---
I been keepin' this ultra-rare 3S\ncard on me the whole time!\n
[13:23] ---
Th-That's the "Gaia Whispers 'Shine'" card!\n
[13:28] ---
Ack! Did he just pull that out of his undies?!\n
[13:31] ---
...the whole time!\n
[13:32] ---
Th-That's...\n
[13:34] ---
--Ack! Did he just pull that out of his undies?! --What are you doing?
[13:36] ---
Oh! Taga! Shh!\n
[13:40] ---
And I'm givin' it to you.\n
[13:42] ---
Seriously? Yesss!\n
[13:43] ---
Wait--I ain't givin' it away for free.\n
[13:46] ---
What, you want money? I only have 814 yen.\n
[13:51] ---
It's a tradin' card, remember.
[13:53] ---
So the card for...\n
[13:55] ---
The card for Kaho-yan!
[13:57] ---
What?!\n
[13:59] ---
Well? Pretty sweet, right?\n
[14:03] ---
D-Don't tell me Kanade would--\n
[14:06] ---
No deal.\n
[14:08] ---
Kaho isn't a thing. You can't treat girls like things.
[14:17] ---
I actually thought Kanade might go for it.\n
[14:21] ---
I'm sorry. And thank you.\n
[14:24] ---
Omigosh, I'm so happy!\n
[14:28] ---
Yeah, you're right, Kanade. My bad.\n
[14:33] ---
At least ya see where I'm comin' from.\n
[14:35] ---
What's with the drawl, huh?\n
[14:37] ---
Yers must be catchin'!\n
[14:38] ---
It ain't catchin', ya dumbo!\n
[14:42] ---
It's like they're even closer now.\nGosh, what good friends!\n
[14:48] ---
Hey, Bro...\n
[14:49] ---
'Sup, Kanade?\n
[14:50] ---
With the card trade off the table,\nI've been thinking...\n
[14:54] ---
Let's all date together!\n
[14:58] ---
The three of us?\n
[15:00] ---
Yeah. You, me, and Kaho-chin.
[15:03] ---
Wait just a second here. What?
[15:05] ---
"You, me, and Kaho-chin" sounds like some romance novel--
[15:09] ---
this is crazy, right?\n
[15:10] ---
Just because they're\ngetting along doesn't mean--\n
[15:13] ---
You and Kaho are both important to me,\n
[15:17] ---
so it'd be great if all three\nof us could pal around together.\n
[15:22] ---
Huh? What's this?\nEven though it happens all the time...\n
[15:27] ---
...and it's not the first time\nKanade's been all mixed up...\n
[15:32] ---
Ouch...\n
[15:36] ---
Let's be a great trio from here on out.\n
[15:39] ---
Yup!\n
[15:39] ---
No...\n
[15:42] ---
My heart... it hurts.\n
[15:46] ---
That's not right.\n
[15:50] ---
Couples are couples. They don't date in threes.\n
[15:54] ---
I'm thinking about Bro's feelings, too.\n
[15:57] ---
What about my feelings?
[16:00] ---
Huh?\n
[16:01] ---
And what about yours, Kanade?\n
[16:05] ---
Your feelings? You love me, right?\n
[16:08] ---
I do--I love you, Kanade. I love only you.
[16:14] ---
I'm not looking to play all\nfriendly with you and Joji.\n
[16:19] ---
Huh? No playing? Then what do you want to do?\n
[16:23] ---
It's not about me wanting to do this or that.\n
[16:27] ---
I want to be special for you alone,\nand I want you to be special for me.\n
[16:35] ---
You can do whatever weird things\nand say whatever kiddy stuff you want,\n
[16:39] ---
as long as I'm special to you.\n
[16:43] ---
But sometimes I get the feeling that you...\n
[16:50] ---
...you don't love me after all.\n
[16:59] ---
Kaho, you're crying? Where does it hurt?!\n
[17:03] ---
Her heart.\n
[17:06] ---
Atsushi!\n
[17:08] ---
The last time you said I made\nher cry, you hit me, Kanade.\n
[17:14] ---
This time, you made her cry, didn't you?
[17:17] ---
And in a much crueler way than I did.\n
[17:22] ---
I'm not bullying her!\n
[17:25] ---
You don't love her one bit. That's why she's crying.
[17:29] ---
What?!\n
[17:30] ---
In which case, I, the actual grown-up,\n
[17:34] ---
will take her.\n
[17:40] ---
What's Taga doing?\n
[17:44] ---
Hey!\n
[17:45] ---
What's the big idea, cuttin' in on us? Who the heck are you?
[17:48] ---
I could ask you the same thing.\n
[17:50] ---
Bro here is my cousin!\n
[17:52] ---
Huh. How old?\n
[17:54] ---
Sixth grade!\n
[17:55] ---
I see.\n
[17:56] ---
Huh?!\n
[17:57] ---
Why're ya laughin'?\nAge ain't got nothin' to do with it!\n
[18:00] ---
And ya can't just... take her!
[18:02] ---
'S like Kanade said: Kaho ain't\na thing you can just give and take!\n
[18:08] ---
Oh, I'm not taking her as a thing.\n
[18:12] ---
I'm taking her heart, too.\n
[18:14] ---
In a way a little kid never could.\n
[18:17] ---
Um...\n
[18:18] ---
--In a way we can't?!\n--U-Um...\n
[18:21] ---
--I'm a you-can-do-it-if-you-try kid!\n--U-Um...\n
[18:23] ---
--And I'm a push-comes-to-shove man!\n--Um...\n
[18:25] ---
Ummm...\n
[18:26] ---
--Big talk. You don't know a thing about women.\n--Um... ummm...\n
[18:29] ---
Will you stop with all the "umm"ing already?\n
[18:31] ---
If you've got something to say, say it!\nGod, you imbecile.\n
[18:37] ---
I-If I'm so annoying, why not just write me off?\n
[18:40] ---
You're the one who stepped\ninto this with plenty to say!\n
[18:43] ---
It's still just harassment, anyway!\n
[18:45] ---
Hmm...\n
[18:46] ---
Guess you're not taking the bait this time, eh?\n
[18:49] ---
Maybe you've learned something, you silly girl.\n
[18:51] ---
Wha--\n
[18:52] ---
I-I'm having an important\ndiscussion with Kanade right now!\n
[18:57] ---
Oh, an important discussion?\n
[19:00] ---
Eh?\n
[19:02] ---
Kanade?\n
[19:03] ---
You're too much.\nPrimary-schoolers fighting over you--really?\n
[19:09] ---
Now that's worth spying on. Right?
[19:12] ---
They can't tear themselves away.\n
[19:14] ---
Y-You're wrong!\n
[19:16] ---
--About what, Kota? --No way... What is all this?
[19:18] ---
--I-I was just--just innocently-- --No way... What is all this?
[19:21] ---
--I-I was just--just innocently-- --These people are always, always--
[19:26] ---
I do too know about women!\n
[19:27] ---
Yeah! It's spelled W-O-M-E-N!\n
[19:29] ---
I can't!\n
[19:32] ---
I just can't!\n
[19:33] ---
Huh?\n
[19:35] ---
I'm not getting through to him at all!\n
[19:38] ---
Taga's mean, everyone's enjoying this...\n
[19:42] ---
...and I really don't know\nwhat Kanade's thinking.\n
[19:46] ---
I did my best to put my feelings\ninto words, but he's just not getting it!\n
[19:53] ---
What do I do now?\n
[21:34] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER\nAfter-Class Homeroom"\n
[21:37] ---
--Our topic today--\n--Give my trunks back first!\n
[21:42] ---
Who has them?!\n
[21:43] ---
Ooh! Ooh!\n
[21:44] ---
What's the difference\nbetween "p**-p**" and "wner"?\n
[21:46] ---
Where'd that come from?
[21:48] ---
I mean, there's lots of words for it, right?\n
[21:50] ---
Right. Old guys say "d*ck."\n
[21:53] ---
My sister? When she\nchanges her baby's diaper?\n
[21:55] ---
She says "p-p**."\n
[21:57] ---
--Hey, but can I get my trunks--ah!\n--By that theory, newborns have p**-ps...\n
[22:02] ---
...we have wners...\n
[22:04] ---
--...and old guys have d°cks! --My trunks!
[22:06] ---
What a scoop! So wners\nchange names as we grow, huh?\n
[22:10] ---
Like those "promotion fish"?\n
[22:12] ---
What are those?\n
[22:14] ---
Fish whose names change as they mature.\n
[22:17] ---
Take the buri yellowtail. First it's called wakashi;
[22:21] ---
then, as it gets bigger, inada, warasa, and finally buri.
[22:26] ---
Huh!\n
[22:27] ---
So we should really\ncall 'em "promotion wners"!\n
[22:30] ---
"P**-p** > Wner > D*ck"\n
[22:30] ---
"P-p** > Wner > D*ck"\nLike this?\n
[22:31] ---
"P-p** > Wner > D*ck"\nOh!\n
[22:31] ---
"P-p** > Wner > D*ck"\nAh!\n
[22:33] ---
I've seen people calling wners\n"rods" and "poles" and "bats"!\n
[22:38] ---
Say what?!\n
[22:39] ---
What's up with that? Huh, Kaz?\n
[22:44] ---
They must have evolved independently.\n
[22:48] ---
Evolved independently?!\n
[22:49] ---
How cool is that?
[22:50] ---
"P**-p** > Wner > D*ck > Rod, Pole, Bat"\n
[22:52] ---
You know, I've heard something, too.\n
[22:54] ---
A word having to do with wners...\n
[22:59] ---
...something like... "erection"?\n
[23:02] ---
"Erection"?\n
[23:03] ---
We got us a whole new one!\n
[23:06] ---
I think I once heard Mom say her favorite clam dish was... erectable?
[23:09] ---
--Oh, so it's a kind of shellfish!\n--Wrong!\n
[23:11] ---
--Another independent evolution!\n--Wrong!\n
[23:13] ---
Which means...\n
[23:14] ---
...the final evolution of a wner is...\n
[23:16] ---
...an erection!\n
[23:19] ---
I'm telling you, you're wrong!\nAnd where are my trunks?!\n
[23:25] ---
Renren here!\n
[23:26] ---
Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:29] ---
"Learn to hula-hoop like a champ! Don't circle\nyour hips--move them forward and back."\n
[23:31] ---
"Thrust forward, thrust back. Once you can\nrepeat this without thinking, you can go forever!"\n
[23:32] ---
All on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:
[23:34] ---
"Hula-Hoop Hullabaloo"!\n
[23:37] ---**
And now for a match! Renren, chon!\n