FIRST LOVE MONSTER
High schooler Kaho Nikaido is having trouble adjusting to her new life in Tokyo. It doesn’t get any easier when she is nearly hit by a truck and saved by the handsome Kanade Takahashi! Infatuated with Kanade, she works up the courage to confess. But he warns that if Kaho learns who he is, she won’t want him. What could possibly keep her from this stud? Maybe the fact he’s a…fifth grader?!
- Season 1
- 1 - So: I'm in Primary School. What Now?
- 2 - Ah, Kasumi House
- 3 - It's My First
- 4 - Sought-After Undies
- 5 - I Know--To the Bath House!
- 6 - Hula-Hoop Hullabaloo
- 7 - Sending My Feelings... (To the Bathroom)
- 8 - Kanade's Telephone Helpline
- 9 - A Hushed and Crabby Love Song
- 10 - A Proper Rom-Com For Once
- 11 - No Peeking! Kanade's Secret Diary
- 12 - Adorable/Abnormable
Season 1
1 - So: I'm in Primary School. What Now?
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:11] ---
Um...\n
[00:13] ---
Would you please tell me your name?\n
[00:18] ---
No.\n
[00:20] ---
Huh?\n
[00:22] ---
I'm not supposed to give my name to strangers.\n
[00:26] ---
And you're a little creepy.\n
[00:32] ---
Thus my first love ended.\n
[00:36] ---
"Tsurukame Moving"\n
[00:36] ---
"Tsurukame Moving"\nLet me go back to when it started,\n
[00:38] ---
three hours ago.\n
[00:41] ---
My name is Kaho Nikaido.\n
[00:44] ---
My family, well, they own a lot of land.\n
[00:48] ---
In other words, they're rich.\n
[00:51] ---
My parents treated me like\na princess, spoiling me rotten,\n
[00:55] ---
probably because they\nhad me when they were older.\n
[00:59] ---
Locals and teachers were\nhyper-aware of my family's influence\n
[01:02] ---
and never got angry with me.\n
[01:05] ---
My friends were all schoolmates\nmy folks had asked to hang out with me.\n
[01:10] ---
As a result,\n
[01:12] ---
I've never had anyone mad at me.\n
[01:15] ---
What do you make of a person like that?\n
[01:18] ---
A real mess, right? Hopeless.\n
[01:22] ---
I'm sorry for being alive.\n
[01:25] ---
So this spring, I left my hometown\n
[01:28] ---
to turn over a new leaf in the city.\n
[01:33] ---
"Kasumi House"\n
[01:35] ---
This is Kasumi House?\n
[01:39] ---
Ahhh...\n
[01:40] ---
Yikes!\n
[01:41] ---
--I-I'm so sorry! Sorry! I'm sorry!\n--Um, are you Miss Nikaido?\n
[01:47] ---
M-Might you be the landlord?\n
[01:50] ---
--Er, uh, I'm, well...\n--So young! Are all Tokyo landlords this young?\n
[01:56] ---
To be making a fortune\nat such a tender age... I bet it's IT!\n
[01:58] ---
He's managing apartments\nwith the money he made in IT!\n
[02:00] ---
Uh, no, I'm just a high-school student!\n
[02:03] ---
The landlord had some business\ntoday, so he asked me to help out.\n
[02:07] ---
"Kota Shinohara - High School Freshman"\n
[02:08] ---
What a pointless delusion that was.\n
[02:10] ---
Um, thank you very much. Nice meeting you.\n
[02:14] ---
Yeah, same h--\n
[02:16] ---
Can we bring in your things?\n
[02:18] ---
Second floor, please!\n
[02:21] ---
Oh, I'll help, too!\n
[02:25] ---
Oof! Wow, heavier than I thought...\n
[02:34] ---
Are you all right?!\n
[02:38] ---
Just have a seat! This is our job!
[02:47] ---
Feels like I'm getting in the way again.\n
[02:50] ---
Oh!\n
[02:54] ---
The kokeshi my brother gave me!
[02:57] ---
Wait! That's my brother's kokeshi!
[03:28] ---
Do you want to die or what?!\n
[03:33] ---
Didn't anyone tell you\nnot to jump out at corners?\n
[03:36] ---
If a car hit a little kid like you,\nyou'd be squashed dead like an ant!\n
[03:43] ---
Are you even listening?\n
[03:46] ---
What are you after?\n
[03:48] ---
--I-Is it money? A favor from my parents? --I'm not interested in your money or your folks.
[03:55] ---
Liar.\n
[03:56] ---
You wouldn't save the likes of me\nif you weren't after something.\n
[04:01] ---
Don't you usually save\npeople who are about to die?\n
[04:05] ---
And I heard saying "the likes of me"\nwill mess you up for real.\n
[04:12] ---
You're pretty cute, you know? Tiny.\n
[04:16] ---
"The likes of me," my foot.\n
[04:18] ---
Cute...?\n
[04:22] ---
See you.\n
[04:24] ---
W-Wait!\n
[04:27] ---
Um... Would you please tell me your name?\n
[04:30] ---
Huh? No.\n
[04:33] ---
I'm not supposed to give my name to strangers.\n
[04:36] ---
And you're a little creepy.\n
[04:42] ---
And that brings us to where we started.\n
[05:06] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[06:19] ---
Um, are you okay?\n
[06:22] ---
Uh, er, thank goodness you weren't hurt.\n
[06:25] ---
He saw me?!
[06:27] ---
A boy I only just met saw\nme fall in love at first sight,\n
[06:30] ---
get called "creepy," and be rejected?\n
[06:36] ---
About that boy...\n
[06:39] ---
Just a second, Shinohara!\n
[06:42] ---
Ch-Chiaki!\n
[06:45] ---
"Chiaki Yokouchi - High School Sophomore"\n
[06:47] ---
I'm just going to cut to the chase:\n
[06:49] ---
You fell in love, didn't you?\n
[06:57] ---
H-How did you know?\n
[07:00] ---
Get to be like me and you can just tell.\n
[07:02] ---
That's a city high-school girl for you!\n
[07:05] ---
But forget it. I don't even know his name,\n
[07:08] ---
and it's not like I'll ever see him again.\n
[07:12] ---
What if you did?\n
[07:14] ---
Huh? If I saw him?\n
[07:17] ---
Um, the thing is, he--\n
[07:18] ---
Shut it, Shinohara!\n
[07:19] ---
Those who'd thwart a young girl's love ought to go trip over a kokeshi!
[07:23] ---
No wonder you're a virgin!\n
[07:25] ---
That has nothing to do with it!\n
[07:28] ---
All this noise outside our front door\nis disturbing the neighbors.\n
[07:32] ---
Well, Taga, aren't you cocky.\n
[07:35] ---
"Atsushi Taga - College Freshman"\n
[07:37] ---
Geez. Act your age.\n
[07:40] ---
I'll show you, Taga...\n
[07:42] ---
Oh, please don't fight!\n
[07:45] ---
Cram it, virgin.\n
[07:47] ---
It's the super-sadist versus the brute!\n
[07:50] ---
Wait--how did you...\n
[07:52] ---
Am I wrong?\n
[07:54] ---
Busted, virgin!\n
[07:56] ---
Um, I'll just be on my way.\n
[08:00] ---
Oh...\n
[08:10] ---
Am I going to be okay?\nWill I get used to all this?\n
[08:23] ---
So much happened today.\n
[08:27] ---
Now that I've been dumped,\n
[08:29] ---
clearly no one will want\nthe likes of me as long as I live.\n
[08:35] ---
I heard saying "the likes of me"\nwill mess you up for real.\n
[08:40] ---
You're pretty cute, you know? Tiny.\n
[08:44] ---
"The likes of me," my foot.\n
[08:47] ---
No way will I see him again.\nIt'll be fate if I do.\n
[08:53] ---
Huh? You live here?\n
[08:56] ---
Huh?! Uh, yes!\n
[08:59] ---
Huh. Well, good to see you.\n
[09:03] ---
It's fate!\n
[09:04] ---
Wait!\n
[09:05] ---
Today you saved me,\nand I got yelled at for the first time ever.\n
[09:10] ---
Wow. My whole life is being yelled at.\n
[09:13] ---
A-And I didn't think we'd meet again...\n
[09:18] ---
Well, if we're living in\nthe same place, we're bound to.\n
[09:22] ---
And...\n
[09:23] ---
Oh, my name. Kanade Takahashi.\n
[09:27] ---
You're giving me your name?!\n
[09:29] ---
You're not creepy if you live here.\n
[09:31] ---
What about you?\n
[09:33] ---
It's polite to give your own name\nwhen someone gives you theirs.\n
[09:36] ---
Sorry. I'm Kaho Nikaido.\n
[09:39] ---
'Kay. Later.\n
[09:40] ---
Please, wait!\n
[09:42] ---
There's more?\n
[09:44] ---
I... um, it looks like...\n
[09:48] ---
It looks like I love you!\n
[09:59] ---
We can date if you like.\n
[10:02] ---
If you can still say you love me\nonce you know the real me,\n
[10:05] ---
then yeah, we can date.\n
[10:08] ---
Think it over till tomorrow.\n
[10:11] ---
No way!\n
[10:19] ---
What's his "real me," anyway?\n
[10:22] ---
Is he married? Does he have kids?\nIs he into guys, too?\n
[10:27] ---
Does he have tons of debt?\n
[10:28] ---
Is he an alien? Or from the future?\n
[10:31] ---
Does he have ESP? Is he really a girl?\n
[10:38] ---
I couldn't sleep a wink...\n
[10:41] ---
But no matter what\nhis secret is, I'll deal with it...\n
[10:49] ---
...and I'll go out with him!\n
[10:56] ---
You really came!\n
[11:03] ---
Uh-huh!\n
[11:10] ---
So: I'm in primary school. What now?\n
[11:24] ---
"Kanade Takahashi - 5th-Grader"\n
[11:27] ---
And that's how the monster\ncalled "first love" began its assault.\n
[11:35] ---
"So: I'm in Primary School. What Now?"\n
[11:38] ---
"Takahashi"\n
[11:38] ---
So are we going to go out?\n
[11:41] ---
Huh? Um, I, uh...\n
[11:44] ---
Yes!\n
[11:48] ---
Then as of today, you're my girlfriend.\n
[11:52] ---
Now I, too, finally had the\ncool boyfriend I'd always wanted.\n
[11:57] ---
"And they lived happily ever after"\n
[12:03] ---
As if!\n
[12:05] ---
No way--not a primary-school kid!\n
[12:08] ---
Yodel-ay-hoo-hee, Kanade!\n
[12:11] ---
Huh? Are these your friends?\n
[12:13] ---
Yep. We're in the same class.\n
[12:15] ---
This kid with the glasses is Gin...\n
[12:17] ---
"Ginjiro Sannomiya - 5th-Grader"\n
[12:19] ---
...and this one with the hair is Tom.\n
[12:22] ---
"Tomu Kaneko - 5th-Grader"\n
[12:23] ---
Is this what all primary-school kids are like these days?!
[12:28] ---
This here is my girlfriend.\n
[12:30] ---
H-Hi.\n
[12:32] ---
Aw, man--I wanted a girlfriend! And she's older, too!
[12:37] ---
I see... You've climbed\nthe stairs to adulthood, Kanade.\n
[12:41] ---
Stairs to adulthood...?\n
[12:44] ---
Okay, Kaho, see you later.\n
[12:46] ---
Oh, have a good day.\n
[12:48] ---
We're off!\n
[12:49] ---
We're awful!\n
[12:51] ---
We're awfully awesome!\n
[12:55] ---
Congrats to the new couple!\n
[12:58] ---
Y-You've got it all wrong! It'll never work!\n
[13:02] ---
True. After all, he is in primary school.
[13:05] ---
Indecent?\n
[13:07] ---
Criminal? Perverted?\n
[13:10] ---
But I wonder. You did say you'd go out with him.
[13:14] ---
How would he feel if you\ntold him "Yeah, never mind" now?\n
[13:17] ---
Huh?\n
[13:18] ---
Kanade's a lonely young man\nwho lost his mother in third grade...\n
[13:23] ---
"Children Crossing"\n
[13:31] ---
"Bamboo Primary School"\n
[13:33] ---
Now, what I'd like the students\nof Bamboo Primary to remember today\n
[13:36] ---
is "SUSHI." Now, I don't mean the food.\n
[13:40] ---
--The "S" stands for "Stranger danger."\n--Ow! I sprained my fingers!\n
[13:44] ---
Mr. Principal, the boys are acting up!\n
[13:46] ---
Er...\n
[13:54] ---
Even at a new school,\nmy head's full of thoughts of Kanade...\n
[13:59] ---
Do you want to die or what?!\n
[14:01] ---
What should I do?\n
[14:07] ---
Kanade? Kanade, what are you doing?!\n
[14:12] ---
Kaho? His wner is in a bad place!\n
[14:15] ---
Huh?\n
[14:20] ---
Hey! Is your wner okay?\n
[14:22] ---
Wner pain, go away! Wner pain, go away!\n
[14:27] ---
Wner, go away!\n
[14:34] ---
Wait! Don't wish his wner away!\nWhere's it gonna go?!\n
[14:40] ---
Um... into the sky or something?\n
[14:43] ---
Hey, Kaho--where's his wner gonna go?\n
[14:47] ---
Um, uh... where indeed?\n
[14:51] ---
"No Opinions Needed"\nt couldn't be buried somewhere, could it?!\n
[14:54] ---
Could it?!
[14:59] ---
We found Gin's wner!\n
[15:01] ---
Gin's wner! Golden pp!\n
[15:03] ---
That is not my w°°ner!
[15:06] ---
I'm glad everything's\nall right. I-I'll just be--\n
[15:10] ---
Wait, Kaho!\n
[15:13] ---
Play tip-top tag with us!\n
[15:16] ---
Tip-top tag?\n
[15:20] ---
"Tip-top tag" is a popular game\nat Japan's primary schools\n
[15:23] ---
that can be played\nwherever there's higher ground.\n
[15:26] ---
More commonly known as "high tag,"\n
[15:28] ---
it's also called "climb tag,"\n"air tag," and "up-and-up"\n
[15:33] ---
depending on the region.\n
[15:36] ---
Viewers at home, what do you call it?
[15:43] ---
1, 2, 3, 4, 5!\n
[15:50] ---
Wait up!\n
[15:53] ---
Kaho! He's gonna tag you! Run away!\n
[15:56] ---
Oh, uh, okay!\n
[16:00] ---
Oof!\n
[16:04] ---
Are you all right?\n
[16:06] ---
Oh, Taga! I'm sorry!\n
[16:09] ---
That Kanade's a rambunctious one. Be careful.\n
[16:11] ---
I-I will.\n
[16:13] ---
Oh, Taga!\n
[16:15] ---
Okay, take care!\n
[16:18] ---
Kaho, Tom is "it" now, so hurry to high ground!\n
[16:22] ---
Oh, um, right!\n
[16:25] ---
Hup!\n
[16:28] ---
Tch!\n
[16:32] ---
Not the climbing poles again, Gin!
[16:35] ---
Gin really likes those things!\n
[16:38] ---
Haven't you figured out\nwhat's so great about them?\n
[16:42] ---
What is so great about them, anyway?
[16:49] ---
I think I get it.\n
[16:52] ---
You're welcome.\n
[16:54] ---
Hey, what's keeping Kaz?\n
[16:56] ---
Kaz?\n
[16:57] ---
Kaz'll be here soon. He's crazy cool.\n
[17:01] ---
The coolest of us all.\n
[17:03] ---
So there's another guy who's decidedly un-primary-kid-like?
[17:10] ---
So: I'm in primary school, too. What now?\n
[17:13] ---
Don't cheat on me, now, Kaho.\n
[17:16] ---
Ch-Cheat on you?\n
[17:18] ---
Kaz is an amazing guy.\n
[17:20] ---
He might just steal\nyour girlfriend away, Kanade.\n
[17:23] ---
He's our class rep, too. A real big shot!\n
[17:25] ---
Don't make me mad, you guys!\n
[17:27] ---
I apologize for being late.\n
[17:28] ---
You finally made it!\n
[17:30] ---
What could he be like?\n
[17:32] ---
Let me introduce you. This is Kaz.\n
[17:36] ---
Nice to meet you. I'm Kazuo Noguchi.\n
[17:39] ---
"Kazuo Noguchi - 5th-Grader"\n
[17:41] ---
Finally, a normal primary-school kid!\n
[17:44] ---
She's been done in by Kaz's coolness.\n
[17:46] ---
Hmm.\n
[17:50] ---
Sorry to disappoint you.\n
[17:53] ---
Oh, no--I'm actually kind of relieved.\n
[17:58] ---
Hey, this is feeling like\nsome kind of cuckolding setup.\n
[18:01] ---
Eeeyikes! What are you gonna do, Kanade?\n
[18:03] ---
Shaddap! Kaho's my girlfriend.\n
[18:07] ---
Kanade, it's kind of embarrassing,\nso maybe don't spell it out like that...\n
[18:16] ---
Okay, back to it!\n
[18:18] ---
Yeah! I'm "it"!\n
[18:20] ---
Hey, wait!\n
[18:21] ---
No time-outs!\n
[18:23] ---
It's an emergency!\n
[18:27] ---
Geez, you're adjusting your jnk?\n
[18:29] ---
Don't want a wner-leaner.\n
[18:31] ---
Wner-leaner?\n
[18:38] ---
It's about finding the most\ncomfortable spot for your wner.\n
[18:41] ---
For your...\n
[18:43] ---
"Wner"\n
[18:46] ---
--Gin just shoves his hands right in there.\n--I-I've just connected\n
[18:48] ---
--Gotta treasure your treasure!\n--some extremely embarrassing dots!\n
[18:50] ---
But normally you go\nfrom your pockets, like this.\n
[18:53] ---
The direct approach is more reliable!\n
[18:55] ---
Do not touch me with those hands!
[18:58] ---
Now, that just makes\nme want to touch you more.\n
[19:01] ---
W-Wner hands!\n
[19:04] ---
Whoa! He's got the wner touch!\n
[19:05] ---
Run away!\n
[19:09] ---
St-Stop that! Hands off! Don't touch me!\n
[19:12] ---
So you're saying I should touch you?\n
[19:17] ---
--Wn... er! Wn... er!\n--Olé!\n
[19:22] ---
Wn--?\n
[19:24] ---
Wn... er...\n
[19:28] ---
Wn... er...\n
[19:35] ---
Ding-a-ling!\n
[19:37] ---
Kaho!\n
[19:42] ---
Kanade...\n
[19:51] ---
When a girl is in trouble, reach out to help.\n
[19:55] ---
That's what my mom taught me.\n
[19:58] ---
Your mom?\n
[20:00] ---
So don't worry.\nI'll protect you, no matter what.\n
[20:06] ---
Kanade...\n
[20:11] ---
Attention, boys and girls!\n
[20:14] ---
--It is now 5:30 PM.\n
[20:14] ---
--Uh-oh--I gotta head home\n--It is now 5:30 PM.\n
[20:16] ---
--or I'll get Namiko's fists!\n--It is now 5:30 PM.\n
[20:18] ---
--And I have cram school.\n--Time for everyone playing outside\n
[20:19] ---
--See you later!\n--Time for everyone playing outside\n
[20:20] ---
--Kaho.\n--to get home safely.\n
[20:25] ---
Just so you know,\nI'm against you and Kanade dating.\n
[22:07] ---
Now for some afterclass homeroom.\n
[22:10] ---
Okay!\n
[22:12] ---
Today I'd like to discuss\nthe results you see here!\n
[22:15] ---
Hmm? That's a lot of "correct"s.\n
[22:17] ---
Hey, I've got the second most!\n
[22:20] ---
Aha--so if I came in first...\n
[22:22] ---
I got it! It's the number of\ncorrect things we did all day!\n
[22:26] ---
Just the opposite!\n
[22:27] ---
The more "correct"s, the more you\nmust reflect on what you've done!\n
[22:31] ---
Say... what?\n
[22:32] ---
This is a tally of how many\ntimes you've said certain words.\n
[22:36] ---
Y-Y-You mean th-th-the ones you can't say on TV?\n
[22:41] ---
Yes, that's right.\n
[22:43] ---
But what could we have said this many times?\n
[22:45] ---
Can't think of anything.\n
[22:48] ---
All we really did today was\nhit our wners on the jungle gym,\n
[22:52] ---
rub our wners on the climbing poles,\n
[22:54] ---**
and adjust our jnk.\n
[22:57] ---
Huh?\n
[22:57] ---
"Gin | Tom | Kanade"\n
[22:59] ---
The count's gone up!\n
[23:02] ---
But why?\n
[23:03] ---
--What gives? All he said was "wner" and "j*nk"!\n
[23:04] ---
--What gives? All he said was "wner" and "jnk"!\n--"W**ner" and "jnk" are perfectly fine words!\n
[23:07] ---
--What gives? All he said was "wner" and "j*nk"!\n--Why them?\n
[23:08] ---
--Something's fishy!\n--Why "wner"? Wner! J*nk! And... wner!\n
[23:08] ---
--Ooh... is this...\n--Why "wner"? Wner! pp! And... wner!\n
[23:12] ---
Enough already! Quit saying "wner"!\n
[23:19] ---
Aw, too bad.\n
[23:22] ---
"Taga | Kazu | Kota"\n
[23:23] ---
Oh...\n
[23:25] ---
Renren here!\n
[23:26] ---
Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...\n
[23:29] ---
"High-school freshman Kaho is dating\nfifth-grader Kanade. It's her first love,"\n
[23:32] ---
"not to mention her first boyfriend,"\nAll on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:\n
[23:33] ---
"and she's determined to learn more about him."\nAll on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:\n
[23:34] ---
"Ah, Kasumi House"!\n
[23:36] ---**
And now for a match! Renren, chon!\n
2 - Ah, Kasumi House
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] ---
It's morning.\n
[00:12] ---
No matter how much happens,\n
[00:15] ---
morning will come.\n
[00:25] ---
Coming!\n
[00:28] ---
Yo!\n
[00:30] ---
Want breakfast?\n
[00:31] ---
Y-Yes! I do! I'll be right there!\n
[00:34] ---
'Kay!\n
[00:38] ---
Of course--when we live under the same roof,\n
[00:42] ---
we'll see each other right when we wake up.\n
[00:47] ---
Just so you know,\nI'm against you and Kanade dating.\n
[00:55] ---
Yeah. No way can I be\nwith someone in primary school.\n
[01:10] ---
Good morning! You must be Miss Nikaido.\n
[01:13] ---
Y-Yes, Kaho Nikaido.\n
[01:16] ---
Sorry I've been out.\nI'm the landlord, Shugo Takahashi.\n
[01:21] ---
Huh?!\n
[01:22] ---
Takahashi? So that means...\n
[01:24] ---
Might you be Kanade's...\n
[01:27] ---
Father, yep!\n
[01:29] ---
"Shugo Takahashi: Househusband" This guy?
[01:32] ---
--K-Kanade, be quiet!\n--Wake up, Kota!\n
[01:36] ---
Sorry he's so loud so early in the morning.\n
[01:38] ---
N-Not at all...\n
[01:40] ---
He's always been a rambunctious one,\n
[01:42] ---
but after his mom died two years back,\n
[01:44] ---
he's getting to be a real handful.\n
[01:46] ---
--C'mon, Shinohara, do something about Kanade!\n--Cut it out, Kanade! I'm up already, I'm up!\n
[01:53] ---
Ah, but just think of him as a little brother\n
[01:55] ---
and play with him every now and then.\n
[01:57] ---
S-Sure...\n
[01:59] ---
L-Little brother? He's my boyfriend!\n
[02:03] ---
Not that I can tell him that.
[02:26] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[03:37] ---
"Ah, Kasumi House"\n
[03:47] ---
Wh-Who are you?!\n
[03:48] ---
You must be Kaho! You're so cute!\n
[03:52] ---
So cute, cute, cutey-cute-cute!\n
[03:56] ---
Behind you!\n
[04:01] ---
B-But you're the cutest in the whole wide world, Chiaki!
[04:05] ---
What on earth is going on here?\n
[04:07] ---
That's Arashi Nagasawa,\na grad student and Chiaki's boyfriend.\n
[04:13] ---
Why, you...\n
[04:13] ---
"Arashi Nagasawa: 1st-Year Grad Student"\nWhy, you...\n
[04:17] ---
Boyfriend and girlfriend, huh?\n
[04:24] ---
Time to dig in!\n
[04:27] ---
Wh-What is it?\n
[04:29] ---
Gimme your seaweed.\n
[04:31] ---
Oh, uh, here.\n
[04:33] ---
Thank you!\n
[04:34] ---
Yours, too, Kota.\n
[04:36] ---
I-I already ate it!\n
[04:38] ---
Tch!\n
[04:39] ---
And Arashi?\n
[04:40] ---
You can't have it.\n
[04:42] ---
Aw, c'mon, Arashi--\n
[04:44] ---
You sit down!\n
[04:46] ---
But--\n
[04:47] ---
One packet of seaweed per person. Got it?\n
[04:50] ---
Yeah...\n
[04:52] ---
Kanade bumming his beloved\nseaweed off people--so cute!\n
[04:56] ---
Oh, that's right, Miss Nikaido...\n
[04:59] ---
Yes?\n
[05:00] ---
I haven't explained the various ins\nand outs of Kasumi House yet, have I?\n
[05:05] ---
Right.\n
[05:06] ---
I can do that later, if you don't mind.\n
[05:09] ---
Please do, then!\n
[05:11] ---
Th-Thanks in advance.\n
[05:19] ---
Taga is so kind...\n
[05:23] ---
So, like, what do you do when you're dating?\n
[05:26] ---
C'mon, tell me!\n
[05:29] ---
Geez, Kanade--not in front of everyone!\n
[05:30] ---
--And your dad, too!\n--Where'd that come from?\n
[05:33] ---
Well, thing is--\n
[05:35] ---
Uh-oh!\n
[05:36] ---
Probably from those\nsoap operas he's been watching lately.\n
[05:41] ---
Ah, the TV again.\n
[05:43] ---
Phew. Wait...\n
[05:46] ---
Did Taga's covering for us actually work?\n
[05:50] ---
Oh, hey: Arashi, you're\ndating Chiaki, so you must know.\n
[05:54] ---
What do you do?\n
[05:56] ---
Hmm... like, call her\nfirst thing in the morning?\n
[05:59] ---
Call her?!
[06:00] ---
And call her when you leave the house.\n
[06:02] ---
Can't you text her?\n
[06:04] ---
But when you're dating,\nyou want to hear her voice!\n
[06:08] ---
Huh.\n
[06:09] ---
But it looks like Chiaki has\nme on her reject list these days.\n
[06:14] ---
Duh! It's way too creepy to be\ncalling me 90 times a day when we live\n
[06:17] ---
in the same building!\n
[06:19] ---
But I get three feet from you\nand already I want to hear your voice!\n
[06:24] ---
Five calls, max!\n
[06:25] ---
Okay, okay. Five it is.\n
[06:28] ---
--Five calls...\n--Kanade, it's plain to see\n
[06:30] ---
that Arashi is not a role model.
[06:33] ---
Oh, okay. Then you tell me, Kota.
[06:35] ---
Who, me?\n
[06:37] ---
Well, uh... you can... hold hands, and, uh...\n
[06:40] ---
Kanade, asking Kota the\nvirgin is even more useless.\n
[06:43] ---
Virgin?\n
[06:45] ---
Th-That has nothing to do with this!\n
[06:47] ---
But you are a virgin, aren't you?
[06:51] ---
Hey, Kaho...\n
[06:54] ---
What's a virgin?\n
[06:57] ---
Hey! That's not something you ask a girl!\n
[07:00] ---
--Now eat already! --Aw! Why won't you tell me? Meanie!
[07:04] ---
Never mind that, Kanade--\n
[07:05] ---
weren't you supposed to hang out\nwith Gin and Tom this morning?\n
[07:09] ---
Oh, right!\n
[07:19] ---
The landlord usually makes our meals.\n
[07:23] ---
Tell him if you're opting out.\n
[07:25] ---
Okay.\n
[07:26] ---
We have free reign of the kitchen,\n
[07:28] ---
but don't eat anything without permission.\n
[07:31] ---
Oh, and if you keep anything\nin the fridge, put your name on it.\n
[07:34] ---
Like pudding and stuff.\n
[07:35] ---
Got it.\n
[07:36] ---
And the bath.\n
[07:38] ---
Here's the timetable; write your\nname by the bathtime you'd like.\n
[07:44] ---
Don't worry: it locks.\n
[07:46] ---
Okay.\n
[07:47] ---
And that should cover it.\n
[07:49] ---
Thanks; that's very kind of you.\n
[07:51] ---
It's nothing, really.\nOh, about your welcome party...\n
[07:56] ---
Huh? For me?\n
[07:58] ---
Of course. How about my room, later today?\n
[08:01] ---
Oh, sure, that'll work.\n
[08:04] ---
Good! We're all so glad you're here.\n
[08:07] ---
Thank you so much.\n
[08:08] ---
Okay, see you later.\n
[08:10] ---
Uh-huh! Thanks again!\n
[08:14] ---
A welcome party?\nI'm a little nervous, but happy, too.\n
[08:20] ---
Oh, could you put any\ncardboard boxes out by the trash?\n
[08:24] ---
Sure thing.\n
[08:26] ---
I'm heading out for some shopping.\n
[08:28] ---
S-See you later!\n
[08:34] ---
If Kanade's dad found out\nI was dating his primary-school son...\n
[08:42] ---
Indecent?\n
[08:43] ---
Criminal?\n
[08:44] ---
Perverted?\n
[08:46] ---
...Yeah, that would not be good.
[09:00] ---
Wh-What are you doing?!\n
[09:02] ---
What? I like upper arms!\n
[09:04] ---
Yeah, but so suddenly?\n
[09:05] ---
Can't I?\n
[09:07] ---
Well, it's more that, uh...\n
[09:09] ---
I mean, you're my girlfriend.\n
[09:13] ---
Girlfriend? Oh, geez... I'm blushing...\n
[09:17] ---
You can't go around touching girls.\n
[09:20] ---
Unless it's your girlfriend.\n
[09:22] ---
That's what I've been taught.\n
[09:23] ---
By who?\n
[09:25] ---
My mom.\n
[09:26] ---
Your mom told you that?\n
[09:29] ---
Yep!\n
[09:33] ---
I still can't believe\nthis guy is in primary school...\n
[09:37] ---
Kanade! We're here for some ele-fun!\n
[09:41] ---
Oh, Mr. Elephant, your trunk is so long!\n
[09:45] ---
And your wner, too--\n
[09:48] ---
it's sooo long! Boi-oing!\n
[09:52] ---
He's in primary school, all right.\n
[09:55] ---
Bamboo Primary's jump-rope\ncompetition is early next week,\n
[09:58] ---
so we're gonna practice!\n
[09:59] ---
Oh, are you?\n
[10:01] ---
I want to beat the record in criss-cross!\n
[10:04] ---
Cr-Criss-cross?\n
[10:09] ---
"Criss-cross" is a highly\ndifficult variation on jumping rope,\n
[10:12] ---
wherein the jumper must\njump through the gap formed\n
[10:15] ---
where the rope is crossed.\n
[10:17] ---
It's also called "double jump" or\n"speed jump" depending on the region.\n
[10:22] ---
Incidentally, we have confirmed reports\n
[10:25] ---
that the sting of a jumprope\nagainst one's bare leg as a child\n
[10:28] ---
has opened some individuals' eyes\nto masochism in adulthood.\n
[10:36] ---
I'm a criss-cross pro--\n
[10:39] ---
I can jump 30 times in a row!\n
[10:40] ---
I'll show you, Kaho.\n
[10:42] ---
I-I sure would like to see that.\n
[10:45] ---
I'm practicing triple-unders!
[10:48] ---
I'd rather tie stuff up instead!\n
[10:51] ---
Aw, but jumping is way more fun!\n
[10:57] ---
Good morning, Kaho.\n
[10:59] ---
G-Good morning.\n
[11:02] ---
Hey, Kaho, come jump rope with us!\n
[11:04] ---
Well, uh...\n
[11:07] ---
I-I still have a lot of tidying-up\nto do after my move-in.\n
[11:11] ---
Oh, okay. Well, come when you're done!\n
[11:14] ---
Y-Yep, I will--when I'm done!\n
[11:17] ---
Okay, off we go yodel-oh!\n
[11:19] ---
Off we godel-odel-oh!\n
[11:20] ---
Yodel-ay-pee-poo!\n
[11:22] ---
Byeee!\n
[11:24] ---
If you'll excuse us.\n
[11:25] ---
Uh, g-goodbye...\n
[11:32] ---
Now that was a big sigh.
[11:40] ---
Um...\n
[11:41] ---
Truth is, I go for "pretty girls."\n
[11:45] ---
Pardon?\n
[11:46] ---
Well, to be precise,\nI like boys dressed as girls.\n
[11:49] ---
So basically girl-boys.\n
[11:52] ---
What?!\n
[11:53] ---
Like Li'l Renren! Maybe you\ndon't--um, so what I mean is... this:\n
[12:01] ---
This is all my Li'l Renren collection!\n
[12:08] ---
Y-You sure do like those dolls, huh?\n
[12:12] ---
Aren't I lucky? OMG, I can't stand it!
[12:15] ---
Isn't Li'l Renren the cutest?! I could lick him all over!
[12:18] ---
A little tee-hee right here,\n
[12:21] ---
a little ooh-hoo where he's ticklish...\n
[12:23] ---
Oh, my fantasies are in overdrive! I'm breathless!
[12:28] ---
Sorry I lost myself like that.\nYou must be scandalized.\n
[12:33] ---
But you know,\nChiaki still accepts me, even like this.\n
[12:38] ---
So it's okay.\n
[12:40] ---
You're big-hearted enough\nto accept your partner, right?\n
[12:45] ---
Even if he's in primary school?\n
[12:47] ---
No sweat. What's five years?\n
[12:49] ---
Chiaki and I are five years apart.\nAge has nothing to do with it--\n
[12:55] ---
as long as you have love.\n
[12:57] ---
Love?!\n
[12:58] ---
Yeah, love. Love!\n
[13:02] ---
But I can't help feeling\nthat a girl like me has no excuse\n
[13:07] ---
being Kanade's girlfriend.\n
[13:09] ---
Kaho, I feel like saying "the likes of me"\n
[13:13] ---
is being rude to Chiaki,\nwho accepts me for who I am.\n
[13:19] ---
I heard saying "the likes of me"\nwill mess you up for real.\n
[13:24] ---
He's right.\n
[13:27] ---
Kanade did accept me.\n
[13:31] ---
Now I've got to accept him, too!\n
[13:36] ---
Nagasawa's so kind.\nFor him to give me advice like this...\n
[13:42] ---
I'm heading back to my room.\nThanks for all your--\n
[13:49] ---
Oh, my little Renren--\n
[13:51] ---
--you're so adorable!\n--Now for my thrilling\n
[13:54] ---
"Renren" "Spotlight Artist of the Week"\nlive-on-the-air costume change--\n
[13:57] ---
"Renren" "Spotlight Artist of the Week"\nafter these messages!\n
[14:03] ---
"Renren" "Spotlight Artist of the Week"\nJust kidding! Tee-hee!\n
[14:12] ---
Sorry I'm late!\n
[14:14] ---
Where are they?\n
[14:17] ---
Well, it sure is precious to me.
[14:20] ---
What are they talking about?\nSomething precious to him?\n
[14:25] ---
What's that saying,\nabout always being together?\n
[14:28] ---
I know! "Joined at the n*p"!\n
[14:30] ---
Tom, you mean "joined at the hip."\n
[14:33] ---
--Right--it's like that.\n--Yeah!\n
[14:36] ---
--Kanade?\n--But I wasn't far off with "joined at the n*p"!\n
[14:37] ---
--What if this precious treasure\n--But I wasn't far off with "joined at the n*p"!\n
[14:38] ---
suddenly went away tomorrow?\n
[14:42] ---
--Ever think about that?\n--Stop it! I don't wanna think\n
[14:44] ---
--Yeah, Gin, quit with the scary talk!\n--about anything that scary!\n
[14:47] ---
Ah. You love it so much, it could\npoke you in the butt and it wouldn't hurt.\n
[14:51] ---
Poke you in the eye, you mean.\n
[14:56] ---
What?! That would definitely hurt!
[14:59] ---
Right? Not in my eye!
[15:01] ---
Um... you seem to be having\na very serious discussion.\n
[15:05] ---
What are you talking about?\n
[15:07] ---
Our most precious partners!\n
[15:10] ---
Partners?!\n
[15:11] ---
Never mind--we shouldn't\ntalk about this in front of Kaho.\n
[15:14] ---
C'mon, let's be done with this.\n
[15:16] ---
Oh...? So he's hiding\nsomething he can't tell me...\n
[15:21] ---
I'm really sorry.\nWe don't want to be mean to you.\n
[15:26] ---
I mean, you're the only one here without one.\n
[15:29] ---
A wner, I mean.\n
[15:33] ---
C'mon! N-No more of\nthis--not with a lady present!\n
[15:36] ---
Huh? No more of what?\n
[15:39] ---
No more beep talk!\n
[15:40] ---
Hmm? Can't hear you.\n
[15:42] ---
Beep talk, I said!\n
[15:44] ---
What's this beep stuff?\nJust say "wner" like the rest of us!\n
[15:50] ---
I will not!
[15:51] ---
I'd give you one if I could...\nwell, I only have the one. Sorry.\n
[15:57] ---
I'm sure you'd like one, too.\n
[16:00] ---
No, I don't want one! Not in the slightest!\n
[16:05] ---
Are you serious?
[16:07] ---
But our precious wners mean the world to us!\n
[16:11] ---
I was sure you of all people\nwould accept this treasure\n
[16:15] ---
that we hold so dear!\n
[16:17] ---
To think you'd be so quick\nto say you don't want a wner at all!\n
[16:22] ---
Now what? Kanade's getting all depressed!\n
[16:26] ---
Um...\n
[16:28] ---
I do want a w°°ner, Kanade!
[16:32] ---
Of course you do!
[16:35] ---
--That's a given! Ha ha! Right? Phew!\n--Did I just blurt out what I think I blurted out?\n
[16:40] ---
I knew you'd understand.\n
[16:41] ---
--At least they're all smiling again, though... right?\n--I mean, who doesn't want a treasure, am I right?\n
[16:47] ---
"Kasumi House"\n
[16:50] ---
I never did get to see you\njump criss-cross, Kanade.\n
[16:55] ---
I'm done with lunch,\nso we can hit the park again later.\n
[16:59] ---
Criss-cross! Criss-cross!\n
[17:01] ---
Sounds like fun.\n
[17:03] ---
Taga!\n
[17:04] ---
Nice timing, Kanade. I just saw this\nginormous ladybug outside my window.\n
[17:09] ---
For real?!\n
[17:10] ---
Yep. With ten spots, too.\n
[17:13] ---
A ten-spot ladybug? Whoa!\n
[17:16] ---
I'm gonna catch it for sure!\n
[17:19] ---
Ten-spot! Ten-spot! Ten-spot!\n
[17:22] ---
He's a kid, all right.\n
[17:24] ---
H-He sure is.\n
[17:27] ---
The way his eyes twinkled\nover a single ladybug...\n
[17:31] ---
So cute!\n
[17:39] ---
Shall we?\n
[17:41] ---
Um, yeah.\n
[17:52] ---
No one's here yet.\n
[17:59] ---
Er...\n
[18:01] ---
Oh! How much are we chipping in for the party?\n
[18:04] ---
I, um, left my wallet in my room,\nso I'll just head back for a sec.\n
[18:12] ---
Taga?\n
[18:13] ---
Are you stupid or what?\n
[18:15] ---
Huh?\n
[18:16] ---
Waltzing right into the room\nof some man you hardly know...\n
[18:20] ---
B-But the welcome party...\n
[18:23] ---
There is no welcome party. Nada.
[18:27] ---
You're a sheltered princess who's\nnever known hardship. You make me sick.\n
[18:32] ---
Falling for Kanade shows\njust how stupid you are.\n
[18:35] ---
It's a huge giveaway when you get all nervous\nand flushed, yet you're strangely assertive--\n
[18:40] ---
--Sorry--it fell through.\n--and boy, that grinds my gears.\n
[18:43] ---
Mom says I can't come to your birthday party,\n
[18:46] ---
so forget about that promise I made.\n
[18:49] ---
She said our families belong\nto different social classes,\n
[18:52] ---
so I shouldn't play with you.\n
[18:56] ---
Who'd welcome you?
[19:17] ---
Kanade?!\n
[19:19] ---
That ladybug wasn't so big after all.\n
[19:22] ---
And it only has seven spots, not ten!\n
[19:25] ---
Ah. My bad.\n
[19:32] ---
And with this forehead-flick, you are forgiven.\n
[19:36] ---
Then why'd you hit me?\n
[19:38] ---
You made her cry.\n
[19:40] ---
She's my girlfriend, and you made her cry.\n
[19:45] ---
You shouldn't make your girlfriend cry.\nYou have to protect her.\n
[19:53] ---
Kanade, did your mom tell you that, too?\n
[19:59] ---
Uh-huh!\n
[20:02] ---
What do I do now?\n
[20:04] ---
Looks like my monster really is way too cool...\n
[21:40] ---
"On Duty: Kota Shinohara"\n
[21:41] ---
Um...\n
[21:42] ---
"Afterclass Homeroom"\n
[21:43] ---
"Afterclass Homeroom"\nI-I'm on duty today--Kota Shinohara--so, uh...\n
[21:47] ---
Ooh, ooh! Question!\n
[21:49] ---
Y-Yes, Kanade?\n
[21:51] ---
What's a virgin?\n
[21:53] ---
--Huh?!\n--You're a virgin, right? What's that mean?\n
[21:56] ---
We wanna know, too!\n
[21:58] ---
What's a virgin?!\n
[22:00] ---
Wh-What's with the\npublic execution all of a sudden?\n
[22:04] ---
I'll tell you.
[22:07] ---
This virginity Kota has is something fantastic.\n
[22:10] ---
Huh?\n
[22:12] ---
If he keeps it safe, he could become a mage.\n
[22:15] ---
A mage?!\n
[22:16] ---
Yes, and having had\nno attempts on his virginity thus far,\n
[22:19] ---
Kota here is a pure virgin-- the king of virgins, if you will.
[22:22] ---
--Wow! Awesome!\n--Not really!\n
[22:25] ---
It's not awesome at all!\nI'd throw it away if I could!\n
[22:28] ---
Throw it away?!
[22:29] ---
If you're just going to\nthrow it away, give it to me!\n
[22:31] ---
I'm not doing that!\n
[22:34] ---
No fair! Kota's virginity is mine!\n
[22:36] ---
It's not yours, either, Kanade!\n
[22:38] ---
Then it's mine?\n
[22:40] ---
No, Tom!
[22:42] ---
Wait--what is all this, anyway?!
[22:44] ---
I'm unclear: is virginity\nworth getting so worked up over?\n
[22:49] ---
Oh! Do you want to be a virgin, too, Kaz?\n
[22:53] ---
Okay, we can all become virgins together!\n
[22:55] ---
Virgins!\n
[22:57] ---
Don't worry.\n
[22:59] ---
You are all virgins.
[23:00] ---
Oho! Really? Yesss!\n
[23:06] ---
And in fact, if I could use\nthis moment to come out myself...\n
[23:10] ---
I'm a virgin, too.\n
[23:12] ---
What?! But you have a girlfriend!\n
[23:15] ---
Chiaki's the one I love, but I only desire girl-boys!
[23:21] ---
"Girl-Boys"\n
[23:21] ---
Awesome!\n
[23:25] ---
Renren here!\n
[23:27] ---
Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:29] ---
"Kaho's at the mercy of Kanade,\ncool beyond his primary-school years,"\n
[23:31] ---
"and the other residents of Kasumi House.\nBut when Kanade asks her to do what a couple does,"\n
[23:32] ---
"her emotional tension is cranked up to 11!" All on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:
[23:35] ---
"It's My First"!\n
[23:36] ---**
And now for a match! Renren, chon!\n
3 - It's My First
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
Looks great!\n
[00:04] ---
Since I've gotten used\nto meals here at Kasumi House,\n
[00:08] ---
I've come to realize my family's\nbreakfasts of snow crab five ways\n
[00:12] ---
were not the norm.
[00:14] ---
I prefer this in the morning.\nWell, except for one thing...\n
[00:23] ---
These are the thousands--no,\ndozens of thousands of organisms\n
[00:27] ---
packed inside a female cod's belly.\n
[00:30] ---
Scientifically speaking,\na mass of cell nuclei...\n
[00:34] ---
Well? When you think about it\nlike that, doesn't it squick you out?\n
[00:38] ---
Just me, then? All righty.\n
[00:41] ---
There's enough for seconds.\n
[00:45] ---
But it's all right.\n
[00:47] ---
I just need to brace myself\nand gulp it down in one fell swoop!\n
[00:58] ---
That's one down!\n
[01:00] ---
And I managed to avoid turning into a merlion.\n
[01:04] ---
Now for this last one...\n
[01:09] ---
Kota, Arashi--gimme your seaweed!\n
[01:12] ---
Oh, sorry.\n
[01:13] ---
Yeah, same here.\n
[01:15] ---
Geez! You ate it already?\n
[01:19] ---
Kaho...\n
[01:21] ---
Gimme your seaweed!\n
[01:23] ---
Kanade! I told you:\none packet of seaweed per person!\n
[01:26] ---
Aw, but there's only six pieces in there!\n
[01:30] ---
It's okay. Here.\n
[01:33] ---
Thank you! Oh, and...\n
[01:38] ---
Thanks for the grub!\n
[01:40] ---
Could Kanade have eaten\nthat knowing I don't like cod roe...?\n
[02:07] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[03:19] ---
"It's My First"\n
[03:28] ---
Who'd welcome you?
[03:34] ---
Ignoring me?\n
[03:37] ---
If you hate me so much, shouldn't you ignore me?
[03:43] ---
Just pointing out your rudeness.\n
[03:45] ---
If you're not ignoring her,\nthat must mean she interests you. Right?\n
[03:52] ---
Stay out of this!\n
[03:54] ---
Did you know? Interest, in that you\ncan't let someone be, is like affection.\n
[03:59] ---
It's famously said that the\nopposite of "love" isn't "hate"--\n
[04:02] ---
no, the opposite of "love" is "indifference."\n
[04:05] ---
Um... what are you getting at, Chiaki?\n
[04:08] ---
You want to be ignored,\nbut Taga can't ignore you.\n
[04:12] ---
Clearly this is unrequited love on Taga's part.\n
[04:15] ---
Please stop!\n
[04:17] ---
You say that kind of silly stuff,\nand Taga is bound to...\n
[04:20] ---
Bound to... what?\n
[04:24] ---
Shinohara, Taga--you sure are popular, Kaho.\n
[04:29] ---
Why is Shinohara's name coming up?\n
[04:32] ---
And besides...\n
[04:33] ---
There's no way Taga likes me!\n
[04:37] ---
There might be.\n
[04:39] ---
I found it strange myself.\n
[04:41] ---
How is it I could care for\na clumsy, dim-witted numbskull...\n
[04:46] ---
Yeah, right, you moron!\n
[04:49] ---
If I'm interested in anyone,\nit's Kanade, not you, stupid.\n
[04:56] ---
What's that supposed to mean?\n
[04:59] ---
That he prefers Kanade over you, no?\n
[05:02] ---
C'mon, Shinohara--come out\nof hiding and let's hit it!\n
[05:05] ---
Huh?\n
[05:08] ---
Shinohara?\n
[05:10] ---
Honestly.\n
[05:11] ---
Good morning, Miss Nikaido!\n
[05:16] ---
Kaho!\n
[05:17] ---
Kanade!\n
[05:18] ---
Kaho, today's the day\nwe get our mission underway!\n
[05:23] ---
Let's do something boyfriend-girlfriendy!\n
[05:26] ---
Huh?\n
[05:28] ---
Let's have a date!\n
[05:37] ---
Of course...\n
[05:40] ---
Hurry up!\n
[05:42] ---
I freeze up when I see Kanade, but I guess\n
[05:45] ---
this is normal for primary-school kids.\n
[05:48] ---
Somehow I'm afraid to see\nKanade when he's at school.\n
[05:53] ---
"Bamboo Primary School"\n
[05:54] ---
It's not every day you see a\nhigh-schooler waiting for her date\n
[05:57] ---
with a primary-schooler.\n
[05:59] ---
Maybe I should just go home.\n
[06:03] ---
But... it is a date.
[06:05] ---
If I don't show up at our meeting spot,\nKanade's bound to worry.\n
[06:11] ---
Kaho!\n
[06:12] ---
Kanade?!\n
[06:19] ---
Sorry I kept you.\n
[06:20] ---
N-Not at all!\n
[06:22] ---
Lately us boys have been\nall about the climbing poles!\n
[06:26] ---
I-I got that.\n
[06:33] ---
Yoo-hoo! C'mon, Kaho--you climb up, too!\n
[06:37] ---
But I'm wearing a skirt.\n
[06:39] ---
You can see Mt. Fuji from here!\n
[06:41] ---
Uh, I-I'll pass...\n
[06:44] ---
Oh. Then...\n
[06:49] ---
Let's get this date started!\n
[06:52] ---
By "date," you mean...\n
[06:56] ---
Well...\n
[06:57] ---
Y-Yes?\n
[06:59] ---
Anything you'd like to do on a date with me?
[07:01] ---
Huh?\n
[07:02] ---
What do a boy and girl do when they meet one on one?
[07:06] ---
What do they...\n
[07:09] ---
This is my first date--I haven't the foggiest!\n
[07:13] ---
P-Probably a date is like...\ngoing someplace fun together?\n
[07:19] ---
Someplace fun, huh?\n
[07:20] ---
I know! C'mon!\n
[07:24] ---
I'm gonna show you the funnest time ever today!\n
[07:28] ---
Kanade!\n
[07:32] ---
No one's ever put it quite that way before.\n
[07:35] ---
I can't help but get excited somehow...\n
[07:48] ---
What do you think, Kaho?\n
[07:56] ---
A present--from me.\n
[08:02] ---
Only the finest date for you, Kaho!\n
[08:08] ---
What a ridiculously unrealistic fantasy!\n
[08:13] ---
Kanade's hardly the type to dress\nlike a prince and play the harp.\n
[08:18] ---
He's a recorder-tooting primary-school kid!\n
[08:23] ---
Um, Kanade, where are we going?\n
[08:26] ---
The park!\n
[08:32] ---
What do you think, Kaho?\n
[08:40] ---
Only the finest date for you, Kaho!\n
[08:48] ---
There I go again!\n
[08:49] ---
I know it's my first date,\nbut my fantasies are out of control.\n
[08:53] ---
I've got to face reality.\n
[08:54] ---
Hey, Kaho! Over here!\n
[08:57] ---
Oh, okay!\n
[08:59] ---
Let's do this together!\n
[09:02] ---
And this... this is my reality.
[09:07] ---
Bring me a bucket of water.\n
[09:09] ---
The spigot's over there.\n
[09:11] ---
Oh, okay.\n
[09:16] ---
Five more, please!\n
[09:18] ---
Got it.\n
[09:25] ---
Next we'll start building up our mountain.\n
[09:28] ---
Okay.\n
[09:29] ---
Pick the pebbles out of the sand\nso it won't collapse so easy.\n
[09:33] ---
Uh-huh.\n
[09:34] ---
And once the sand is piled up,\ngive the surface a good smack\n
[09:37] ---
to harden it.\n
[09:39] ---
Wherever it looks weak,\nuse that sticky sand to reinforce it.\n
[09:43] ---
Okay.\n
[09:46] ---
So there's this new café by the station.\n
[09:48] ---
Oh, really? I'd like to check it out.\n
[09:51] ---
Then let's go!\n
[09:51] ---
Really?\n
[09:53] ---
What am I even doing?\n
[09:57] ---
Hey, you're good at this, Kaho!\n
[09:58] ---
Huh?\n
[10:00] ---
Thanks to you, today's mountain\nis super well-balanced!\n
[10:04] ---
I've made tons of these before,\nbut never as awesome as this!\n
[10:10] ---
Kanade, you've got sand on your face.\n
[10:13] ---
Huh? Get it off, wouldja?\n
[10:15] ---
Hang on.\n
[10:16] ---
Ow, Kaho--that hurts!\n
[10:19] ---
It's really stuck on there.\n
[10:21] ---
Okay, all set.\n
[10:25] ---
Thank you!\n
[10:26] ---
Okay, that's enough mountain-building.\nNow we dig a tunnel.\n
[10:31] ---
A tunnel?\n
[10:32] ---
A tunnel won't make a nice sturdy\nmountain like this fall apart.\n
[10:36] ---
I'll go from this side.\nKaho, you dig from over there.\n
[10:40] ---
Okay!\n
[10:45] ---
This is one sturdy mountain, all right.\n
[10:48] ---
Need some real elbow grease\nto dig to the middle.\n
[10:50] ---
Y-Yeah.\n
[11:05] ---
Don't make the tunnel mouth too wide, Kaho.\n
[11:08] ---
Oh, okay.\n
[11:10] ---
Kaho, try jamming your\nhand further into the center.\n
[11:13] ---
All right.\n
[11:20] ---
We're connected!\n
[11:21] ---
Uh-huh...\n
[11:26] ---
Look at you two lovebirds.\n
[11:29] ---
We are on a date!
[11:30] ---
A date, eh?\n
[11:32] ---
Hey, it's Arashi!\n
[11:36] ---
Um, well, more like a "date"... er...\n
[11:41] ---
And what a nice date it is, compared to us two.\n
[11:45] ---
That's the way, Li'l Renren!\n
[11:48] ---
Fantastic! Good job!\n
[11:50] ---
Isn't this a better pose?\n
[11:52] ---
Yikes, Kanade! Get your sandy mitts off that!\n
[11:55] ---
That's my ultra-super-rare limited-first-edition\n
[11:58] ---
"Poseable Cat-Ear Li'l Renren, Bashful Version"!\n
[12:02] ---
This one, then! I see London, I see France--\n
[12:05] ---
Hey! No peeking under that skirt!\n
[12:08] ---
These figurine photo shoots are a regular thing.\n
[12:12] ---
I see.\n
[12:14] ---
Is this park not good enough for your dates?\n
[12:18] ---
Um... Doesn't it bother you, Chiaki?\n
[12:22] ---
Doesn't what?\n
[12:23] ---
Uh, well, it's just...\n
[12:26] ---
Oh, you mean Arashi being\na disappointment as a boyfriend?\n
[12:29] ---
No, I--\n
[12:31] ---
But he looks good, doesn't he?
[12:33] ---
Huh? Well... yes.\n
[12:36] ---
That's what counts!\n
[12:38] ---
Um...\n
[12:39] ---
Kanade's got good looks, too.\n
[12:41] ---
Uh, well, that's... that's true.\n
[12:46] ---
Then you're good.\n
[12:48] ---
You seem to be worried about\nKanade being in primary school,\n
[12:51] ---
but I see no problem here at all.\n
[12:54] ---
I guess you're right. I do have fun with him...
[12:59] ---
...though this is a far cry from a lovers' date.\n
[13:03] ---
The kind of date doesn't matter.\n
[13:05] ---
There are as many dates as there are couples.\n
[13:08] ---
Chiaki...\n
[13:09] ---
Besides... Arashi is stupid nice.\n
[13:13] ---
Huh?\n
[13:16] ---
Nothing.\n
[13:18] ---
Chiaki, Kanade's nice, too.\n
[13:22] ---
--Eye lasers! Whoa!\n--You'll pull his eyes out!\n
[13:24] ---
--And a butt bazooka! Ha ha!\n--You'll take his butt off!\n
[13:26] ---
Hey, Kanade, aren't you on a date?\nDon't leave your girl hanging!\n
[13:32] ---
Oh, right!\n
[13:35] ---
Okay, Kaho, mission complete!\nOn to the next one!\n
[13:39] ---
The... next?\n
[13:45] ---
Here we are!\n
[13:46] ---
"Kobayashi's"\n
[13:47] ---
"Kobayashi's"\nIiit's... Kobayashi's!\n
[13:49] ---
A penny-candy store?\n
[13:53] ---
Hey, it's Kanade!\n
[13:54] ---
Oh, you guys're here, too?\n
[13:57] ---
Wait, didn't you say your date was today?\n
[14:01] ---
We're smack in the middle of a mission.\n
[14:03] ---
I brought Kaho to one of my favorite\nstores so she could get to know me.\n
[14:07] ---
I get it. So you came to pay\nrespects to the counter hag.\n
[14:12] ---
Counter rag? At a penny-candy store?\n
[14:16] ---
Their counter hag is real famous.\n
[14:19] ---
Who you callin' a hag, you nincompoops?!\n
[14:22] ---
You keep spittin' on my candy without buyin' any,\n
[14:23] ---
"Counter Hag"\nYou keep spittin' on my candy without buyin' any,\n
[14:24] ---
"Counter Hag"\nyou can get right outta here!\n
[14:26] ---
There it is: the counter hag's\n"Get Outta Here" attack!\n
[14:30] ---
Hello, ma'am.\n
[14:31] ---
Oh, my, Kaz--you came, too?\n
[14:34] ---
Here, dearie, have a sucker.\n
[14:36] ---
--Thank you very much.\n--She's always playing favorites.\n
[14:37] ---
That's Kaz: our sixtysomething old-lady killer!\n
[14:41] ---
"Apricot Bars, Triple-Vinegar Squid Bites,\nMr. Plum, Kibi Dumplings"\n
[14:42] ---
Oh, wow, these take me back!\n
[14:44] ---
Kanade!\n
[14:46] ---
Are you okay?\n
[14:49] ---
Tom, you chicken--not in the face!\n
[14:52] ---
Prepare yourself--\n
[14:54] ---
Hey, now! Take that ball and play outside!\n
[14:57] ---
Count me in, too!\n
[14:58] ---
Okay, let's play three-lives outside!\n
[15:01] ---
Whaaat?!\n
[15:02] ---
Kanade's going off to play\nwith Tom and the others? No way!\n
[15:09] ---
I'll take that!\n
[15:12] ---
Yes way...
[15:16] ---
"What Is 'Three-Lives'?"\n
[15:16] ---
"What Is 'Three-Lives'?"\nSimilar to the individual match that is dodgeball,\n
[15:21] ---
in "three-lives" a player is hit\nthree times before he or she is out.\n
[15:24] ---
Its simple rule and casual\nstyle--no need for a court--\n
[15:28] ---
have won it more than 400 million players.\n
[15:31] ---
Now attracting attention\nfor outstripping kabaddi,\n
[15:33] ---
it's on track to feature at the 2020 Tokyo--\n
[15:36] ---
Geez, Gin! You were aiming\nfor my balls, weren't you?!\n
[15:40] ---
Ball-oney! Don't get Testy!
[15:43] ---
Why, you...! An eye for an eye!\nA ball for a ball!\n
[15:46] ---
Try my demonball on for size:\n
[15:49] ---
Thunder Vacuum Nyaho\nNyaho-Tamakloe Do You Remember Me!\n
[15:52] ---
Hey! Blatantly aiming for\nthe balls is an illegal move!\n
[15:57] ---
Il-le-gal!\n
[16:02] ---
Aren't you on a date?\nDon't leave your girl hanging!\n
[16:07] ---
Oh, man--I was in the middle of a date!\n
[16:09] ---
I'm out!\n
[16:11] ---
What? But it was just getting good!\n
[16:13] ---
I was this close to abandoning our mission!
[16:16] ---
A date's a date till we get back home!\n
[16:18] ---
C'mon, just a little longer!\n
[16:20] ---
Tom! Take a hint.\nThe second half of any date is key.\n
[16:24] ---
We've got to let the two of them be\nalone--tenderly.\n
[16:27] ---
Tenderly?\n
[16:30] ---
Get out of my way.\n
[16:32] ---
Huh?\n
[16:33] ---
I said, "Will you please move?"\n
[16:35] ---
If you're in high school,\nsurely you're learning English.\n
[16:46] ---
What's up? Gotta poop?\n
[16:48] ---
Huh?\n
[16:49] ---
You're so quiet and with such\na serious face--so I figured: poop!\n
[16:52] ---
N-No, I don't!\n
[16:53] ---
Don't hold it in.\nPoop is nothing to be ashamed of.\n
[16:56] ---
Look, it's not that!\n
[16:58] ---
Then what?\n
[17:00] ---
Uh, well...\n
[17:05] ---
See, Kaz and Taga are both\nagainst us dating, right? So...\n
[17:11] ---
Oh, is that what you're worried about?
[17:14] ---
Having obstacles--within reason--\nonly fans the flames of love.\n
[17:19] ---
That's a pretty grown-up thing to say.\n
[17:22] ---
Did your mom tell you that, too?\n
[17:24] ---
Huh? I came up with all that myself.\n
[17:29] ---
Oh, did you?\n
[17:31] ---
'Course I did! Same as for nearly everything.\n
[17:35] ---
I came up with dodgeball and the newest Yummy Stick flavor!
[17:40] ---
There always were plenty\nof kids who said stuff like that.\n
[17:43] ---
Here, Kaho, eat this.\n
[17:46] ---
Mission three: A couple happily\neats the same thing together!\n
[17:51] ---
Um...\n
[17:52] ---
How do I eat this?\n
[17:54] ---
Haven't you ever had cake-on-a-stick?\n
[17:56] ---
Real fans have crazy ways of eating them,\n
[17:58] ---
but normally you just chomp 'em from the top!\n
[18:01] ---
No, I mean...\n
[18:04] ---
Don't tell me, Kaho--\n
[18:06] ---
you've never walked around while eating?\n
[18:08] ---
N-No. If I concentrate\non holding this, I can't walk,\n
[18:12] ---
and if I focus on walking, my mouth won't open.\n
[18:16] ---
Here. Say "ah"!\n
[18:17] ---
Huh?\n
[18:22] ---
So sweet and delicious!\n
[18:24] ---
Yep!\n
[18:29] ---
We made it!\n
[18:30] ---
Uh-huh! Thank you for one spectacular date.\n
[18:34] ---
Not so fast, Kaho.\n
[18:35] ---
Huh?\n
[18:37] ---
The date's not over yet.\nThis is our final mission.\n
[18:41] ---
Our final mission?\n
[18:44] ---
The goodbye kiss.\n
[18:50] ---
The goodbye kiss...\n
[18:56] ---
Not like that.\n
[18:59] ---
Couples kiss...\n
[19:02] ---
...here.
[19:24] ---
Kanade... that...\nthat was... my first... kiss...\n
[19:38] ---
W-Were you watching?\n
[19:41] ---
Uh, no, I wasn't!\n
[19:42] ---
Well, er, I wasn't not watching, but... I wasn't spying!
[19:45] ---
I mean, I accidentally saw it.\nIt slipped into my vision!\n
[19:53] ---
I saw that, I saw that!\n
[19:55] ---
I saw you see that!\n
[19:58] ---
It's a shock for the girl\nyou like to be going on a date,\n
[20:02] ---
but to happen to catch her kissing?
[20:05] ---
Cut it out, Chiaki.\n
[20:07] ---
And what's worse, she was\nkissing a primary-school kid\n
[20:11] ---
who's way cooler and way younger than you!
[20:14] ---
Can't bounce back from that!
[20:16] ---
Yes, it's true. I do like Miss Nikaido,\n
[20:20] ---
and I was spying out of curiosity!\n
[20:22] ---
That kiss with Kanade really was a shock...\n
[20:25] ---
But that doesn't mean\nit's any kind of fun to mock\n
[20:28] ---
a person's feelings for someone!\n
[20:30] ---
Oh, it's fun, all right!\n
[20:31] ---
This kind of intel is just my cup of tea.\n
[20:40] ---
Hmph!\n
[20:44] ---
Why don't you just come clean\nand tell Kaho how you feel?\n
[20:48] ---
C'mon, Chiaki hates it when\npeople can't make up their minds.\n
[22:28] ---
"English"\n
[22:29] ---
Today we'll be having\nan English lesson for a change.\n
[22:33] ---
--Aw, studying? I hate studying!\n--Now, we may be in primary school,\n
[22:36] ---
--Aw, studying? I hate studying!\n--but English will be compulsory from here on out.\n
[22:38] ---
We'll start with a simple greeting:\n
[22:41] ---
Hi! Nice to meet you. My name is Kaz.\n
[22:45] ---
Okay, now you try: "Hi!\nNice to meet you. My name is Kaz."\n
[22:51] ---
Hi! Icy meat stew. I'm lame, this Kaz!\n
[22:55] ---
I am not lame! And what's this "icy meat stew"?
[22:58] ---
Hi! Mice to neat you. Om nom--it's Kaz!\n
[23:01] ---
I'm not eating.\n
[23:02] ---
Hi! Nice to eat you. Om nom nom Kaz!\n
[23:04] ---
I said, I'm not eating!
[23:07] ---
Hearing ability: zero.\nIt's the miso-paste penalty for you all.\n
[23:14] ---
You know these visuals are totally not okay!
[23:18] ---
--Poop! Poop!\n--Till next week! See you!\n
[23:21] ---
See you!\n
[23:25] ---
Renren here!\n
[23:27] ---
Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:29] ---
"Kaho's heart is still pounding\nafter her first kiss with Kanade."\n
[23:31] ---
"But when Kanade's tutor arrives...\nAnother storm's a-brewing!"\n
[23:32] ---
All on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:
[23:34] ---
"Sought-After Undies"!\n
[23:36] ---
And now for a match! Renren, chon!\n
4 - Sought-After Undies
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] ---
I didn't end up getting much sleep.\n
[00:12] ---
I went and had my... very first kiss.\n
[00:16] ---
Well, good morning, Miss Nikaido!\n
[00:19] ---
G-G-G-Good morning!\n
[00:21] ---
You're up early for a day off!\n
[00:23] ---
Everyone else is still sleeping,\nso go ahead and eat.\n
[00:27] ---
Oh, okay...\n
[00:32] ---
Wonder if Kanade's a sleepyhead, too?\n
[00:37] ---
Kaho.\n
[00:38] ---
K-K-Kanade?!\n
[00:40] ---
I can't take it anymore.\n
[00:43] ---
T-Take what?\n
[00:47] ---
W-We can't!\n
[00:48] ---
Not now--not here!\n
[00:52] ---
If we don't say anything, he'll never know.\n
[00:54] ---
Is he serious?!\n
[00:57] ---
So... you don't mind, right?\n
[01:04] ---
Gimme your seaweed.\n
[01:06] ---
Go ahead.\n
[01:07] ---
--Yay! Sea-weed! Sea-weed!\n--My boyfriend's a primary-schooler, all right.\n
[01:32] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[02:45] ---
It's so early, and I'm already tired out.\n
[02:48] ---
Hello, Jll-o!\n
[02:54] ---
I'm sorry to descend\non you in a group like this.\n
[02:56] ---
I had intended to come alone, but...\n
[03:00] ---
It sounded fun!\n
[03:02] ---
Just don't butt in, all right?\n
[03:05] ---
Huh? Did we have plans or something?\n
[03:08] ---
I have business with Kaho today.\n
[03:10] ---
Huh? Me?\n
[03:11] ---
Rather than stand around and talk,\nlet's repair to Kanade's room.\n
[03:16] ---
Why my room?
[03:19] ---
It won't do for us men to intrude\non the room of an unmarried lady!\n
[03:24] ---
What a gentleman!\n
[03:26] ---
"Sought-After Undies"\n
[03:27] ---
I-It's not much, but...\n
[03:34] ---
What an intimidating mood--like\nI'm dealing with my mother-in-law.\n
[03:42] ---
You've got a lot of nerve,\nserving tea you admit is "not much,"\n
[03:45] ---
you demon-in-law!\n
[03:47] ---
I hate you! I hate you!\n
[03:48] ---
Oh, please forgive me, Mother!\n
[03:52] ---
You're too modest.\n
[03:54] ---
It's terribly delicious.\n
[03:56] ---
What a sublime gentleman!\n
[03:59] ---
Now, then... Let me say this again:\n
[04:02] ---
I am against you and Kanade dating.\n
[04:06] ---
I'll just cut to the chase.\n
[04:09] ---
What is it you like about him?\n
[04:11] ---
His face? His style? His pointless behavior?\n
[04:16] ---
Well...\n
[04:17] ---
Is it because he rescued you?\n
[04:21] ---
Do you believe... it's fate?\n
[04:28] ---
There is no deeper meaning\nto Kanade's words or actions.\n
[04:32] ---
Come, enter into my embrace\nand drift back to sleep!\n
[04:35] ---
Whoa! It's the Futonagon monster!\n
[04:37] ---
If we fall back asleep, we'll be late!\n
[04:39] ---
Think again!\n
[04:41] ---
He's a bigger fool than you thought.\n
[04:44] ---
He's really persuasive.
[04:47] ---
In short, you don't know Kanade well enough.\n
[04:50] ---
That's why I'm against you dating.\n
[04:55] ---
Kanade lost his mother two years ago.\n
[04:59] ---
The deep wounds from that\ntime now drive him to seek solace\n
[05:03] ---
from an older woman like you.\n
[05:07] ---
I... I have no comeback for that.\n
[05:10] ---
From the sound of things,\n
[05:12] ---
you're just spouting all kinds of nonsense.\n
[05:15] ---
Kana--\n
[05:16] ---
Kaho and my mom look nothing alike!\n
[05:18] ---
That's what bugs you?!
[05:20] ---
All right, so what do you like about Kaho?\n
[05:24] ---
Dunno.\n
[05:25] ---
Whaaat?!\n
[05:26] ---
Exactly. You also know nothing about her. Therefore...
[05:31] ---
Is that important?\n
[05:33] ---
What do you mean?\n
[05:34] ---
You don't fall in love with someone\n'cause you know them well.\n
[05:38] ---
Love is that feeling of wanting\nto know more about someone.\n
[05:42] ---
Kanade...\n
[05:48] ---
Gin, Tom--let's go.\n
[05:50] ---
Aw, already?\n
[05:52] ---
I wanted to soak up the mysterious\nnaughtiness of being wrapped up\n
[05:55] ---
in another family's futon for a little longer.\n
[06:00] ---
Kaho, I'm still against this.\n
[06:08] ---
Um... thanks, Kanade.\n
[06:11] ---
It's nothing.\n
[06:12] ---
But listen, Kaho...\n
[06:14] ---
You want to know more, don't you? About me?\n
[06:17] ---
Uh-huh...\n
[06:19] ---
Then c'mere.\n
[06:21] ---
I'll teach you about me.\n
[06:27] ---
The me even my father doesn't know.\n
[06:30] ---
Even your father... on your bed...\n
[06:34] ---
N-No, we can't!\n
[06:35] ---
Not that--not yet!\nI mean, you're in primary school, and--\n
[06:43] ---
Secrets and risk go hand in hand.\n
[06:46] ---
That's what growing up is all about.\n
[06:49] ---
S-So close!\n
[06:51] ---
K-K-Kanade!\n
[06:56] ---
I hid 'em here.\n
[06:58] ---
Hid?\n
[07:04] ---
If I'm going to teach you about myself,\n
[07:06] ---
I decided the best way would\nbe showing you what I can do.\n
[07:10] ---
You sure are good in math, huh?\n
[07:12] ---
Right?\n
[07:13] ---
"Traditional Tsurukame Snack Mix"\nKanade! How about some snacks for your friends?\n
[07:19] ---
What's all this?\n
[07:20] ---
I-It's not what you think!\n
[07:28] ---
What's this, Kanade?\nWere you hiding these from me?\n
[07:32] ---
That's what bugs you?!
[07:36] ---
I'm sorry.\n
[07:38] ---
Why am I kneeling formally?
[07:41] ---
Hiding tests with scores\nlike these is serious business.\n
[07:45] ---
Please kill me.\n
[07:47] ---
Huh?!\n
[07:47] ---
I'm not going to kill you\nover something like this.\n
[07:50] ---
But you have to take\nresponsibility for the things you do.\n
[07:57] ---
That's what Mom always said, huh.\n
[08:03] ---
Maybe I'll get you a tutor.\n
[08:05] ---
--What?! No way! I don't wanna! --Huh? What did he just say?!
[08:10] ---
How can you face your mom\nin heaven with grades like these?\n
[08:18] ---
Crap! I can't get 'em out!\n
[08:21] ---
I'm gonna have a peanut\ntree growing out of my nose!\n
[08:25] ---
Got 'em! I was super panicked...\n
[08:28] ---
Ka...\n
[08:29] ---
Kanade, I don't think you're behaving right!\n
[08:37] ---
I'm sorry.\n
[08:44] ---
That was a fast apology.\nYou must really trust her.\n
[08:49] ---
Trust her?\n
[08:50] ---
She's my girlf--\n
[08:54] ---
Hey, I know! Miss Nikaido,\nif it's all right with you...\n
[08:58] ---
Huh?\n
[09:00] ---
"Bamboo Primary School"\n
[09:03] ---
Ro-sham-bo!\n
[09:06] ---
Ryal crown!\n
[09:08] ---
"This week's goal: No running in the hallways!"\n
[09:08] ---
"This week's goal: No running in the hallways!"\nRo-sham-bo!\n
[09:10] ---
Shampoo-conditioner!\n
[09:12] ---
"No Horseplay on the Stairs"\n
[09:12] ---
"No Horseplay on the Stairs"\nRo-sham-bo!\n
[09:14] ---
Boysenberry bushes!\n
[09:18] ---
-- Ro-sham-bo! Break the tie!\n--This game goes by "rock-paper-szzle"\n
[09:21] ---
--Tie! Tie!\n--and "step roshambo."\n
[09:23] ---
--Tie! Tie! Tie! Tie! Tie! Tie!\n--Despite regional variation,\n
[09:25] ---
--Tie! Tie! Tie! Tie! Tie! Tie!\n--the basic phrases are "ryal crown,"\n
[09:26] ---
--Tie! Tie! Tie! Tie! Tie! Tie!\n--"shampoo-conditioner,"\n
[09:28] ---
--Ro-sham-bo!\n---and "boysenberry bushes." However...\n
[09:31] ---
C'mon, not "ro" again!\nYou'll never catch up to us that way!\n
[09:37] ---
You're going about this all wrong, Kanade.\n
[09:39] ---
Finding a way to beat your opponent with "ro":\n
[09:41] ---
That's the essence of the game.
[09:46] ---
Ryal crown...\n
[09:49] ---
...and golden throne!\n
[09:52] ---
Say... what?!\n
[09:54] ---
Okay, guys--come and get me!\n
[09:58] ---
Ha! You've dazzled us, Kanade!\n
[10:00] ---
I see it's time for us to go with plan B!\n
[10:03] ---
Ro-sham-bo!\n
[10:05] ---
Boiling wner, hot hot hot!\n
[10:07] ---
Shamrock underpants\ncovering my naughtiest places!\n
[10:09] ---
Roly-poly poop, curled in a cone!\n
[10:10] ---
...changing these keywords at will during play\n
[10:13] ---
often enhances one's\nrock-paper-scissors capability.\n
[10:19] ---
Ro-sham-bo!\n
[10:20] ---
Bodacious boiling wner!\n
[10:22] ---
--Boys are so dumb. --Bubble bubble bubble!
[10:24] ---
--Kaz could teach them a thing or two.\n--Ro-sham-bo! Break the tie!\n
[10:27] ---
--Right, Yuki?\n--Ro-sham-bo! Break the tie!\n
[10:28] ---
Tie!\n
[10:29] ---
--Oh, uh, sure thing.\n--Ro-sham-bo!\n
[10:31] ---
Roly-poly holy-moly pile of poop!\n
[10:34] ---
Ro-sham-bo!\n
[10:41] ---
Hmm. A draw.\n
[10:43] ---
We'll settle this once\nafter-class homeroom is over!\n
[10:46] ---
Can't. I've got a tutor as of today.\n
[10:49] ---
If I don't get home pronto,\nDad'll dock my allowance.\n
[10:52] ---
A tutor?!\n
[10:53] ---
Dude, are you serious?\n
[10:55] ---
Secret, thrilling, one-on-one lessons...\n
[10:58] ---
What's this tutor like?!\n
[10:59] ---
Hmm? Oh, right.\n
[11:01] ---
They're...\n
[11:05] ---
Would you be Kanade's tutor?
[11:09] ---
Huh? I-I couldn't possibly! Me, teach?\n
[11:13] ---
Oh, that's too bad. I'll have to look elsewhere.\n
[11:19] ---
I wonder who'll wind up being Kanade's tutor?\n
[11:25] ---
Tch. Where are you even looking?\n
[11:27] ---
I-I'm sorr--\n
[11:29] ---
You're like a pile of dogsht\non the road--but worse.\n
[11:33] ---
Learn your place, Miss Less-Than-Dogsh*t.\n
[11:42] ---
Why does Taga always have it in for me?\n
[11:48] ---
If I'm interested in anyone, it's Kanade.\n
[11:50] ---
What if Taga's the new tutor?\n
[11:54] ---
Now, Kanade, pollination is when\npollen goes from the stamen to the pistil.\n
[12:00] ---
Atsushi... words alone aren't\nenough for me to understand.\n
[12:07] ---
You, a mere child, coming on to me? Then...
[12:11] ---
I'll teach you so it's easier to understand.\n
[12:13] ---
Oh...\n
[12:14] ---
Just relax... see?\n
[12:17] ---
I'll be the stamen and you be the pistil.\n
[12:20] ---
I'm going to be pollinated!\n
[12:32] ---
Wh-What am I thinking?!\n
[12:34] ---
Ooh, stop it, Kanade!\n
[12:44] ---
Cut it ouuut!\n
[12:46] ---
Wait, Mafuyu.\n
[12:48] ---
C'mon, enough studying--let's play sumo!\n
[12:52] ---
Aw, why's it have to be sumo?\n
[12:54] ---
Your boobs are kinda like\na top-ranked sumo wrestler...\n
[12:58] ---
Huh? A wrestler? That's meeean!\n
[13:03] ---
Guess she accepted the tutoring position.\n
[13:05] ---
Huh?\n
[13:07] ---
You must be Kaho!\n
[13:10] ---
I don't want Kanade--in fact,\n
[13:10] ---
"Mafuyu Hayashi - High School Sophomore"\nI don't want Kanade--in fact,\n
[13:13] ---
"Mafuyu Hayashi - High School Sophomore"\nI'm after his family!\n
[13:15] ---
Nice meeting you!\n
[13:27] ---
I don't want Kanade--in fact,\nI'm after his family!\n
[13:33] ---
Family? So... she means marriage, right?\n
[13:37] ---
Now that was a big sigh.
[13:40] ---
Arashi!\n
[13:42] ---
Hey, Kaho. Heading home from school?\n
[13:45] ---
I see how it is.\n
[13:47] ---
So Mafuyu is going after Kanade after all...
[13:50] ---
And then there's Taga...\n
[13:52] ---
Don't worry. Mafuyu's\ntastes are a tad off-kilter.\n
[13:56] ---
Her tastes?\n
[13:58] ---
And Taga's personality and\ndisposition are skewed, that's all.\n
[14:02] ---
O... kay...\n
[14:05] ---
We're home!\n
[14:06] ---
Hmm... not here, either...\n
[14:11] ---
What's the matter?\n
[14:14] ---
Hmm? Oh, hello, you two.\nSeems I'm a little short on dirty laundry.\n
[14:20] ---
You don't mean Chiaki's, do you?\nDid some pervert steal them?!\n
[14:24] ---
No, no!\n
[14:25] ---
They're mine. And who'd\nsteal an old guy's undies?\n
[14:32] ---
That's the phone.\n
[14:41] ---
So this is Mafuyu's room.\n
[14:44] ---
Is this really going to turn out okay?\n
[14:51] ---
Huh? What's that?\n
[14:56] ---
Is she... in pain?\n
[14:59] ---
Um, are you... okay in there?\n
[15:06] ---
She doesn't look okay!
[15:14] ---
So fruity...\n
[15:19] ---
Could those be the landlord's...\n
[15:25] ---
You saw me!\n
[15:37] ---
I-I didn't! I didn't see anything!\n
[15:43] ---
Mafuyu?\n
[15:47] ---
Why, hello there...\n
[15:50] ---
Nooo!\n
[15:52] ---
Someone, please!\n
[15:55] ---
That voice--\n
[15:57] ---
What's all the fuss--\n
[15:57] ---
P-Please, help me!\n
[16:08] ---
I'll protect he--
[16:11] ---
She used Kota as a springboard?!\n
[16:14] ---
Run... away...\n
[16:16] ---
Sh-Shinohara?!\n
[16:20] ---
Hey, why are you running awaaay?\n
[16:29] ---
How did it come to this?\n
[16:39] ---
Stay right there! I have\nso much to teach the new girl!\n
[16:43] ---
D-Don't trouble yourself!\n
[16:46] ---
Dear me, look at you quiver!\n
[16:50] ---
It's all right. Nothing to be afraid--\n
[17:19] ---
I should be safe here... right?\n
[17:49] ---
Found you.\n
[17:56] ---
Please, spare me!\n
[17:59] ---
Wait!\n
[18:00] ---
Kaho!\n
[18:01] ---
Hi-yah!\n
[18:04] ---
There it is!\n
[18:06] ---
That was a close one, all right.\n
[18:08] ---
Are you okay, Kaho?\n
[18:11] ---
Yeah, more or less...\n
[18:16] ---
She's...\n
[18:18] ---
...eating the undies?!
[18:24] ---
Well, Mafuyu?\n
[18:26] ---
Don't tell us you haven't had enough.\n
[18:29] ---
I ate them all up.\n
[18:33] ---
My tummy's full.\n
[18:38] ---
Mafuyu...\n
[18:40] ---
Okay, you're on your own now.\n
[18:42] ---
See you, Mafuyu.\n
[18:45] ---
Huh?\n
[18:51] ---
What did you think when you saw me?\n
[18:54] ---
I-I'm sorry...\n
[18:56] ---
I'm not asking you to apologize.\n
[18:58] ---
I'm asking what you thought.\n
[19:02] ---
What's wrong with smelling\nthe scent of someone you like?\n
[19:06] ---
Liking their scent is scientific\nproof that you're compatible.\n
[19:11] ---
So it's only natural that\nShugo and I should be wed.\n
[19:15] ---
Shugo?\n
[19:16] ---
I told you: I'm after Kanade's family.\n
[19:21] ---
Kanade's... father?\n
[19:24] ---
Huh? But, he's, like...\nway older than you, right?\n
[19:28] ---
Huh?\n
[19:29] ---
What of it?\n
[19:30] ---
Like you're in any position\nto find fault in someone else's man.\n
[19:34] ---
You're the major perv datin' a kid in primary school.
[19:37] ---
"Major Perv"\n
[19:38] ---
Hey, perv: What is it about Kanade, anyway, huh?\n
[19:42] ---
His face? His body? C'mon, out with it!\n
[19:44] ---
I-It's not that!\n
[19:47] ---
Kanade's the first person\nto really get mad at me.\n
[19:51] ---
Who cares, nimwit?\n
[19:53] ---
If that were true, you must be fallin' for me,\n
[19:56] ---
since I'm super mad at you right now!\n
[19:59] ---
I-I don't think it's that logical...\n
[20:01] ---
Anyway, will you do\na favor for your dear pal Mafuyu?\n
[20:07] ---
First, speak of this to no one! And...\n
[20:10] ---
...take these back.\n
[20:16] ---
How did this happen?\n
[20:20] ---
I'm glad Mafuyu's not my rival, though.\n
[20:24] ---
Whatcha smiling about, Kaho?\n
[20:26] ---
Huh? Aren't those...\n
[20:27] ---
Kanade?!\n
[20:29] ---
He's going to think I stole his dad's undies!
[20:32] ---
N-No! I just--\n
[20:35] ---
These are the undies I gave Mafuyu!\n
[20:37] ---
Eh?\n
[20:38] ---
She asked me for something\nwith the scent of the person she liked.\n
[20:41] ---
But those are your father's.\n
[20:44] ---
In her own way,\nMafuyu's giving a shape to her love.\n
[20:48] ---
You gotta support one\nperson feeling love for another.\n
[20:52] ---
So that's how Kanade sees it.\nHe's so innocent...\n
[20:58] ---
Kaho, your face is all red.\n
[21:00] ---
--Too close, Kanade!\n--Doesn't feel like a fever...\n
[21:03] ---
I know!\n
[21:07] ---
K-Kanade?!\n
[21:09] ---
You're tired. I'll make you feel better.\n
[21:14] ---
I-It's the thought that counts--really.\n
[21:17] ---
Thoughts alone are no good.\nIt's the same as doing nothing at all.\n
[21:22] ---
If you don't give shape\nto your feelings, what's the point?\n
[21:25] ---
So he's giving shape to his feelings for me?\n
[21:36] ---
Miss Nikaido?\n
[21:42] ---
It's all right. Let me handle this.\n
[21:44] ---
Mmm. That feels good.\n
[21:47] ---
How about here? You like that, Kaho?\n
[23:25] ---
Renren here!\n
[23:26] ---
Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:28] ---
Oh--no--not so tight, or I'll...!\n
[23:35] ---
All on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:
[23:37] ---
"I Know--To the Bath House!"\n
5 - I Know--To the Bath House!
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:26] ---
N-Not there!\n
[00:27] ---
Look, Kaho--look how hard this is here.\n
[00:36] ---
Wh-What are they doing in there? I mean, what are they doing in there?
[00:41] ---
And what are you doing, hmm?
[00:43] ---
Yikes! Um, well, I...\n
[00:46] ---
Feel good, Kaho?\n
[00:48] ---
How about here? How's this feel?\n
[00:50] ---
Hey, Chiaki--\n
[00:51] ---
Coming in!\n
[00:53] ---
What's going on?\n
[00:55] ---
A massage!\n
[00:58] ---
Huh?\n
[01:04] ---
Kaho looked tired. Mom did this for me a lot.\n
[01:09] ---
Too bad, Shinohara.\n
[01:11] ---
It was much more wholesome than\nwhatever you were picturing outside.\n
[01:17] ---
Thanks, Kanade.\n
[01:19] ---
Kaho, you're still tired.\n
[01:20] ---
Huh?\n
[01:22] ---
That means...\n
[01:23] ---
"Pair Ticket - The Relaxabath Kurhaus"\n...it's time for my ultimate weapon!\n
[01:27] ---
"Super Bath House"\nTo the super bath house!\n
[01:50] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[03:00] ---
"The Relaxabath Kurhaus"\n
[03:02] ---
"I Know--To the Bath House!"\n
[03:12] ---
So this is a super bath house?\n
[03:17] ---
I bet Kanade looks great in swim trunks, too.\n
[03:22] ---
Oh, cut it out!\n
[03:23] ---
Men and women bathe together?!\n
[03:26] ---
First time, huh, Kaho?\n
[03:28] ---
Oh--yeah!\n
[03:30] ---
Kaho!\n
[03:39] ---
Kanade's really going\nall-out--in more ways than one.\n
[03:43] ---
Kaho, Kaho--what bath should we try first?\n
[03:45] ---
Hold it!\n
[03:46] ---
Kanade, take off the goggles.\nNo swimming here!\n
[03:49] ---
Aw!\n
[03:50] ---
And have you primary-school kids\ngone to the bathroom?\n
[03:54] ---
If you haven't, go now!\nKids have to go before a bath!\n
[03:58] ---
Hmm. Your telling us\nthat has made me need to go.\n
[04:02] ---
Ha ha! Poop! Poop! Pooper-man!\n
[04:05] ---
Primary-school boys sure do like poop, huh.\n
[04:09] ---
Huh?!\n
[04:10] ---
I'm not a little kid, so I don't like poop.\n
[04:13] ---
And I would never mistake poop for chocolate!
[04:18] ---
Kanade... no one would say\nthat unless it had happened.\n
[04:23] ---
Kanade.\n
[04:26] ---
Quit spouting nonsense,\nKanade. To the restroom.\n
[04:29] ---
Aw!\n
[04:30] ---
"No Running in the Hallway!"\n
[04:30] ---
"No Running in the Hallway!"\nEnough! We're all going!\n
[04:32] ---
'Kaaay.\n
[04:35] ---
Uh, Miss Nikaido, sorry to tag along...\n
[04:41] ---
Huh?\n
[04:41] ---
I-I mean, barging in on your date and all...\n
[04:47] ---
Oh, right... this is a date, isn't it?
[04:51] ---
Huh?\n
[04:52] ---
You are such a masochist.
[04:57] ---
Kanade...\n
[05:00] ---
This really holds the boys in place!\n
[05:01] ---
Nice!\n
[05:03] ---
I've been taking these huge steps,\nand my wner hasn't budged!\n
[05:06] ---
Those're some powerful trunks!\n
[05:08] ---
What if I did a cartwheel?\n
[05:10] ---
Ah!\n
[05:14] ---
Nothing.\n
[05:15] ---
Whoa!\n
[05:17] ---
A-hup!\n
[05:18] ---
It's staying put!\n
[05:21] ---
My wner's not moving!\n
[05:26] ---
Wow! They have so many different baths!\n
[05:30] ---
Indeed. You see why a\nprimary-schooler would like it.\n
[05:33] ---
What's keeping Kanade and the others?\n
[05:36] ---
They're probably playing some dumb game.\n
[05:38] ---
I'll go check.\n
[05:42] ---
Since we're here and all,\nI'd like to be with Kanade.\n
[05:47] ---
Bare butt.\n
[05:48] ---
Bare buttocks.\n
[05:49] ---
Bare behind!\n
[05:51] ---
Butt plus butt makes double-butt buds!\n
[05:54] ---
Ow! Don't do it for real!\n
[06:01] ---
Where could Kanade be?\n
[06:08] ---
Huh? Kanade?\n
[06:15] ---
Didn't yer folks tell ya it's\ndangerous to be runnin' like that?\n
[06:20] ---
Oh, I'm sorry--thanks for helping me.\n
[06:25] ---
What's yer name, miss?\n
[06:28] ---
Huh? Oh, it's Kaho Nikaido--\n
[06:30] ---
I'm in love!\n
[06:32] ---
--Wh-What?! Wait wait wait!\n--'S like a jolt of electricity! This is fate!\n
[06:36] ---
Hey! Who are you?\n
[06:38] ---
Kanade!\n
[06:39] ---
You got a lot of nerve\nmessing with my girlfriend!\n
[06:42] ---
Kanade!\n
[06:44] ---
You!\n
[06:46] ---
So? You gonna bring it?\n
[06:47] ---
I'm not!
[06:49] ---
There comes a time when a man must fight.\n
[06:52] ---
Hey, I thought I recognized\nthat voice. If it ain't Kanade!\n
[06:56] ---
'S me! Me! Didja forget?\n
[07:00] ---
It's the Naniwa Speed Coaster: Joji Takahashi!\n
[07:04] ---
Bro!\n
[07:06] ---
--What does he mean, "Bro"?!\n--Been a year, huh? What's goin' on?\n
[07:09] ---
Ya got way too big there, kid!\n
[07:11] ---
I'm having a growth spurt!\n
[07:14] ---
Are ya, now!\n
[07:15] ---
He's a tad bigger than any\ngrowth spurt could explain away...\n
[07:20] ---
Karma. Reincarnation.\nLong-lost brothers, reunited at last!\n
[07:24] ---
Guided by the cosmos!\n
[07:26] ---
Hey, Kanade!\n
[07:27] ---
I've known you since kindergarten,\n
[07:29] ---
but this is the first I've heard of any brother.\n
[07:31] ---
Just who is this "Bro" fellow?\n
[07:33] ---
Who, me?\n
[07:34] ---
What? So he isn't his big brother after all?\n
[07:36] ---
So who is this guy, with his Osaka drawl?
[07:40] ---
I'm his cousin--Kanade's cousin, Joji Takahashi.\n
[07:44] ---
--Tada!\n--Just call me Joji, the Naniwa Speed Coaster!\n
[07:48] ---
I'm Tom!\n
[07:49] ---
Gin!\n
[07:50] ---
--Kaho-yan! --Uh, yeah?
[07:52] ---
Wh-What the--?! I've never been called that before!
[07:56] ---
Kanade's a good guy,\nbut he's a kid! In fifth grade!\n
[07:59] ---
Why're ya datin' him?
[08:00] ---
Huh?!\n
[08:02] ---
Huh?\n
[08:03] ---
Date me instead.\n
[08:04] ---
U-Um, but--\n
[08:07] ---
I'm more grown-up!\n
[08:09] ---
I-I love him is why. I love Kanade!\n
[08:13] ---
Aw, who cares 'bout that?\n
[08:15] ---
Er, how old are you, Joji?\n
[08:20] ---
Eh?\n
[08:21] ---
Sixth grade!\n
[08:23] ---
I figured as much.\n
[08:25] ---
And... it says so right there.\n
[08:26] ---
"Joji Takahashi - 6th-Grader"\nAnd... it says so right there.\n
[08:28] ---
Oh, there's Kanade!\n
[08:30] ---
Are there more of them now?\n
[08:32] ---
I told you, Bro--\n
[08:34] ---
Kaho's my girlfriend!\n
[08:36] ---
One woman, two men. Y'know what that means.
[08:40] ---
What?\n
[08:41] ---
Who?\n
[08:42] ---
Where?\n
[08:43] ---
Why me?\n
[08:44] ---
We battle!\n
[08:45] ---
"Battle"\nWe battle!\n
[08:46] ---
"Battle"\nWhaaat?!\n
[08:51] ---
You ready, Bro?\n
[08:53] ---
Ready!\n
[08:54] ---
Whoever gets the swimcap wins!\n
[08:57] ---
Arashi, this has nothing to do with us!\n
[09:00] ---
Why are we the horses?\n
[09:02] ---
I didn't think we'd have any say in the matter.\n
[09:05] ---
Okay, here goes!\n
[09:09] ---
What'll I do?\n
[09:10] ---
Leave them alone.\n
[09:16] ---
--Where'd Kaz get that elegant setup?\n--Makurazaki, offer the ladies tea, too.\n
[09:20] ---
Yes, sir.\n
[09:22] ---
So he has a butler.\n
[09:24] ---
"Munemitsu Makurazaki - Butler"\n
[09:26] ---
In my experience, when you hang out with fools,\n
[09:30] ---
you get caught in the crossfire.\n
[09:32] ---
In my experience,\njust pretend you don't know them.\n
[09:38] ---
Tom, Gin, turn right!\n
[09:41] ---
Roger!\n
[09:42] ---
Things are really amped up\nnow that Kanade's seen Joji\n
[09:45] ---
for the first time in a while.\n
[09:48] ---
This should be fun!\n
[09:49] ---
Here we go! My killer move: the head-grab!\n
[09:56] ---
Got it! We won!\n
[09:59] ---
Say what?!\n
[10:05] ---
Those're swim trunks! But whose?\n
[10:09] ---
I saw that! They're Kota Shinohara's!\n
[10:12] ---
--No pants, no pants, no-pants Kota!\n
[10:14] ---
--Stop that! You guys!\n--No pants, no pants, no-pants Kota!\n
[10:15] ---
--Stop that! You guys!\n--Butt! Butt! Kota's b--\n
[10:19] ---
Hey, are you in high school?\n
[10:21] ---
Nope!\n
[10:22] ---
College, then? Either way,\ncould you quit fooling around?\n
[10:27] ---
You're too grown-up for that.\n
[10:29] ---
We're not grown-up yet!\n
[10:31] ---
Huh?\n
[10:33] ---
--Sorry! We're sorry! We're sorry!\n--We're really sorry!\n
[10:36] ---
So hey, Bro, what are you doing in Tokyo?\n
[10:40] ---
I'm a traveler. I've forsaken my home.\n
[10:46] ---
Truth is, Moms tossed out\nall o' my Pachimon cards.\n
[10:52] ---
She what?!
[10:55] ---
Y-You mean, that happens?!\n
[10:57] ---
Mothers are fearsome creatures\nwho can, from time to time,\n
[11:01] ---
perform such atrocities without batting an eye.\n
[11:05] ---
My brothers!\n
[11:08] ---
That's Kanade's cousin for you:\na man of discriminating tastes!\n
[11:11] ---
That's Kanade's friends for ya!
[11:14] ---
Let's take a bath together\nas a sign of our reconciliation!\n
[11:17] ---
Yeah!\n
[11:18] ---
Have they made up?\n
[11:20] ---
Kaho!\n
[11:23] ---
Kaho, come here!\n
[11:26] ---
O-Okay!\n
[11:30] ---
"Coffee Bath"\n
[11:44] ---
Kanade...\n
[11:45] ---
Barista--the usual.\n
[11:47] ---
Chomolungma, sir?\n
[11:49] ---
Everest, duh!\n
[11:50] ---
Kilimanjaro!\n
[11:52] ---
The Kilimanjaro jar, yo!\n
[11:56] ---
The Kilimanjaro jar, yo!\n
[11:59] ---
Jar, yo! Jar, yo!\n
[12:03] ---
"The Relaxabath Kurhaus"\n
[12:04] ---
It's gotten darker, so you kids be careful.\n
[12:08] ---
We'll be fine.\n
[12:09] ---
Makurazaki will take us home.\n
[12:11] ---
Kanade! Bye-bye-banana!\n
[12:13] ---
Banana-nana buttface!\n
[12:14] ---
Whoa!\n
[12:15] ---
Huh?\n
[12:16] ---
--Made you look!\n--Wha--?!\n
[12:18] ---
Dang it!\n
[12:23] ---
The dinosaur bath really did\nit for me. What about you, Kaho?\n
[12:27] ---
Let's see...\n
[12:28] ---
Maybe the diet cola bath?\n
[12:30] ---
You feel a little better now?\n
[12:32] ---
Yeah!\n
[12:34] ---
Kanade.\n
[12:36] ---
And Kaho-yan. Can I have a word with ya?
[12:51] ---
A-Are you sure it's okay\nfor us to be following them?\n
[12:54] ---
I mean, it's way too amusing to ignore.\n
[12:57] ---
Besides, that's rich coming\nfrom an inveterate eavesdropper.\n
[13:07] ---
So what's this about?\n
[13:09] ---
I said I came to Tokyo 'cause\nMoms threw out all my cards, right?\n
[13:14] ---
Yeah?\n
[13:15] ---
But...\n
[13:18] ---
I been keepin' this ultra-rare 3S\ncard on me the whole time!\n
[13:23] ---
Th-That's the "Gaia Whispers 'Shine'" card!\n
[13:28] ---
Ack! Did he just pull that out of his undies?!\n
[13:31] ---
...the whole time!\n
[13:32] ---
Th-That's...\n
[13:34] ---
--Ack! Did he just pull that out of his undies?! --What are you doing?
[13:36] ---
Oh! Taga! Shh!\n
[13:40] ---
And I'm givin' it to you.\n
[13:42] ---
Seriously? Yesss!\n
[13:43] ---
Wait--I ain't givin' it away for free.\n
[13:46] ---
What, you want money? I only have 814 yen.\n
[13:51] ---
It's a tradin' card, remember.
[13:53] ---
So the card for...\n
[13:55] ---
The card for Kaho-yan!
[13:57] ---
What?!\n
[13:59] ---
Well? Pretty sweet, right?\n
[14:03] ---
D-Don't tell me Kanade would--\n
[14:06] ---
No deal.\n
[14:08] ---
Kaho isn't a thing. You can't treat girls like things.
[14:17] ---
I actually thought Kanade might go for it.\n
[14:21] ---
I'm sorry. And thank you.\n
[14:24] ---
Omigosh, I'm so happy!\n
[14:28] ---
Yeah, you're right, Kanade. My bad.\n
[14:33] ---
At least ya see where I'm comin' from.\n
[14:35] ---
What's with the drawl, huh?\n
[14:37] ---
Yers must be catchin'!\n
[14:38] ---
It ain't catchin', ya dumbo!\n
[14:42] ---
It's like they're even closer now.\nGosh, what good friends!\n
[14:48] ---
Hey, Bro...\n
[14:49] ---
'Sup, Kanade?\n
[14:50] ---
With the card trade off the table,\nI've been thinking...\n
[14:54] ---
Let's all date together!\n
[14:58] ---
The three of us?\n
[15:00] ---
Yeah. You, me, and Kaho-chin.
[15:03] ---
Wait just a second here. What?
[15:05] ---
"You, me, and Kaho-chin" sounds like some romance novel--
[15:09] ---
this is crazy, right?\n
[15:10] ---
Just because they're\ngetting along doesn't mean--\n
[15:13] ---
You and Kaho are both important to me,\n
[15:17] ---
so it'd be great if all three\nof us could pal around together.\n
[15:22] ---
Huh? What's this?\nEven though it happens all the time...\n
[15:27] ---
...and it's not the first time\nKanade's been all mixed up...\n
[15:32] ---
Ouch...\n
[15:36] ---
Let's be a great trio from here on out.\n
[15:39] ---
Yup!\n
[15:39] ---
No...\n
[15:42] ---
My heart... it hurts.\n
[15:46] ---
That's not right.\n
[15:50] ---
Couples are couples. They don't date in threes.\n
[15:54] ---
I'm thinking about Bro's feelings, too.\n
[15:57] ---
What about my feelings?
[16:00] ---
Huh?\n
[16:01] ---
And what about yours, Kanade?\n
[16:05] ---
Your feelings? You love me, right?\n
[16:08] ---
I do--I love you, Kanade. I love only you.
[16:14] ---
I'm not looking to play all\nfriendly with you and Joji.\n
[16:19] ---
Huh? No playing? Then what do you want to do?\n
[16:23] ---
It's not about me wanting to do this or that.\n
[16:27] ---
I want to be special for you alone,\nand I want you to be special for me.\n
[16:35] ---
You can do whatever weird things\nand say whatever kiddy stuff you want,\n
[16:39] ---
as long as I'm special to you.\n
[16:43] ---
But sometimes I get the feeling that you...\n
[16:50] ---
...you don't love me after all.\n
[16:59] ---
Kaho, you're crying? Where does it hurt?!\n
[17:03] ---
Her heart.\n
[17:06] ---
Atsushi!\n
[17:08] ---
The last time you said I made\nher cry, you hit me, Kanade.\n
[17:14] ---
This time, you made her cry, didn't you?
[17:17] ---
And in a much crueler way than I did.\n
[17:22] ---
I'm not bullying her!\n
[17:25] ---
You don't love her one bit. That's why she's crying.
[17:29] ---
What?!\n
[17:30] ---
In which case, I, the actual grown-up,\n
[17:34] ---
will take her.\n
[17:40] ---
What's Taga doing?\n
[17:44] ---
Hey!\n
[17:45] ---
What's the big idea, cuttin' in on us? Who the heck are you?
[17:48] ---
I could ask you the same thing.\n
[17:50] ---
Bro here is my cousin!\n
[17:52] ---
Huh. How old?\n
[17:54] ---
Sixth grade!\n
[17:55] ---
I see.\n
[17:56] ---
Huh?!\n
[17:57] ---
Why're ya laughin'?\nAge ain't got nothin' to do with it!\n
[18:00] ---
And ya can't just... take her!
[18:02] ---
'S like Kanade said: Kaho ain't\na thing you can just give and take!\n
[18:08] ---
Oh, I'm not taking her as a thing.\n
[18:12] ---
I'm taking her heart, too.\n
[18:14] ---
In a way a little kid never could.\n
[18:17] ---
Um...\n
[18:18] ---
--In a way we can't?!\n--U-Um...\n
[18:21] ---
--I'm a you-can-do-it-if-you-try kid!\n--U-Um...\n
[18:23] ---
--And I'm a push-comes-to-shove man!\n--Um...\n
[18:25] ---
Ummm...\n
[18:26] ---
--Big talk. You don't know a thing about women.\n--Um... ummm...\n
[18:29] ---
Will you stop with all the "umm"ing already?\n
[18:31] ---
If you've got something to say, say it!\nGod, you imbecile.\n
[18:37] ---
I-If I'm so annoying, why not just write me off?\n
[18:40] ---
You're the one who stepped\ninto this with plenty to say!\n
[18:43] ---
It's still just harassment, anyway!\n
[18:45] ---
Hmm...\n
[18:46] ---
Guess you're not taking the bait this time, eh?\n
[18:49] ---
Maybe you've learned something, you silly girl.\n
[18:51] ---
Wha--\n
[18:52] ---
I-I'm having an important\ndiscussion with Kanade right now!\n
[18:57] ---
Oh, an important discussion?\n
[19:00] ---
Eh?\n
[19:02] ---
Kanade?\n
[19:03] ---
You're too much.\nPrimary-schoolers fighting over you--really?\n
[19:09] ---
Now that's worth spying on. Right?
[19:12] ---
They can't tear themselves away.\n
[19:14] ---
Y-You're wrong!\n
[19:16] ---
--About what, Kota? --No way... What is all this?
[19:18] ---
--I-I was just--just innocently-- --No way... What is all this?
[19:21] ---
--I-I was just--just innocently-- --These people are always, always--
[19:26] ---
I do too know about women!\n
[19:27] ---
Yeah! It's spelled W-O-M-E-N!\n
[19:29] ---
I can't!\n
[19:32] ---
I just can't!\n
[19:33] ---
Huh?\n
[19:35] ---
I'm not getting through to him at all!\n
[19:38] ---
Taga's mean, everyone's enjoying this...\n
[19:42] ---
...and I really don't know\nwhat Kanade's thinking.\n
[19:46] ---
I did my best to put my feelings\ninto words, but he's just not getting it!\n
[19:53] ---
What do I do now?\n
[21:34] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER\nAfter-Class Homeroom"\n
[21:37] ---
--Our topic today--\n--Give my trunks back first!\n
[21:42] ---
Who has them?!\n
[21:43] ---
Ooh! Ooh!\n
[21:44] ---
What's the difference\nbetween "p**-p**" and "wner"?\n
[21:46] ---
Where'd that come from?
[21:48] ---
I mean, there's lots of words for it, right?\n
[21:50] ---
Right. Old guys say "d*ck."\n
[21:53] ---
My sister? When she\nchanges her baby's diaper?\n
[21:55] ---
She says "p-p**."\n
[21:57] ---
--Hey, but can I get my trunks--ah!\n--By that theory, newborns have p**-ps...\n
[22:02] ---
...we have wners...\n
[22:04] ---
--...and old guys have d°cks! --My trunks!
[22:06] ---
What a scoop! So wners\nchange names as we grow, huh?\n
[22:10] ---
Like those "promotion fish"?\n
[22:12] ---
What are those?\n
[22:14] ---
Fish whose names change as they mature.\n
[22:17] ---
Take the buri yellowtail. First it's called wakashi;
[22:21] ---
then, as it gets bigger, inada, warasa, and finally buri.
[22:26] ---
Huh!\n
[22:27] ---
So we should really\ncall 'em "promotion wners"!\n
[22:30] ---
"P**-p** > Wner > D*ck"\n
[22:30] ---
"P-p** > Wner > D*ck"\nLike this?\n
[22:31] ---
"P-p** > Wner > D*ck"\nOh!\n
[22:31] ---
"P-p** > Wner > D*ck"\nAh!\n
[22:33] ---
I've seen people calling wners\n"rods" and "poles" and "bats"!\n
[22:38] ---
Say what?!\n
[22:39] ---
What's up with that? Huh, Kaz?\n
[22:44] ---
They must have evolved independently.\n
[22:48] ---
Evolved independently?!\n
[22:49] ---
How cool is that?
[22:50] ---
"P**-p** > Wner > D*ck > Rod, Pole, Bat"\n
[22:52] ---
You know, I've heard something, too.\n
[22:54] ---
A word having to do with wners...\n
[22:59] ---
...something like... "erection"?\n
[23:02] ---
"Erection"?\n
[23:03] ---
We got us a whole new one!\n
[23:06] ---
I think I once heard Mom say her favorite clam dish was... erectable?
[23:09] ---
--Oh, so it's a kind of shellfish!\n--Wrong!\n
[23:11] ---
--Another independent evolution!\n--Wrong!\n
[23:13] ---
Which means...\n
[23:14] ---
...the final evolution of a wner is...\n
[23:16] ---
...an erection!\n
[23:19] ---
I'm telling you, you're wrong!\nAnd where are my trunks?!\n
[23:25] ---
Renren here!\n
[23:26] ---
Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:29] ---
"Learn to hula-hoop like a champ! Don't circle\nyour hips--move them forward and back."\n
[23:31] ---
"Thrust forward, thrust back. Once you can\nrepeat this without thinking, you can go forever!"\n
[23:32] ---
All on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:
[23:34] ---
"Hula-Hoop Hullabaloo"!\n
[23:37] ---**
And now for a match! Renren, chon!\n
6 - Hula-Hoop Hullabaloo
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] ---
The card for Kaho-yan!
[00:03] ---
Let's all date together!\n
[00:05] ---
You, me, and Kaho-chin.
[00:07] ---
I'll take her.\n
[00:11] ---
I just can't!\n
[00:34] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[01:47] ---
Kota! Gimme your seaweed.\n
[01:49] ---
Stare.\n
[01:51] ---
Again? I already opened the packet.\n
[01:54] ---
"Hula-Hoop Hullabaloo"\nThat's all right. Gimme your seaweed!\n
[01:57] ---
Okay, you can have it.\n
[01:58] ---
Yay!\n
[02:00] ---
Kaho, gimme yours, too.\n
[02:02] ---
Er... huh?\n
[02:05] ---
Uh-oh--I bet Kaho's mad.\n
[02:08] ---
Mad?\n
[02:09] ---
I mean, that whole thing yesterday just happened.
[02:12] ---
But why? Don't you wake up\nfriends again the day after a fight?\n
[02:16] ---
That's just for kids.\n
[02:18] ---
I suppose it's too much to expect\nyou to understand a woman's heart.\n
[02:24] ---
A woman's... heart?\n
[02:27] ---
"Bamboo Primary School"\n
[02:29] ---
You delivered your letter, right, Yuki?\n
[02:31] ---
What?! You really did? That love letter?\n
[02:33] ---
Who'd you give it to?\n
[02:35] ---
Um...\n
[02:38] ---
Yuki's got some high ideals.\n
[02:40] ---
With an emphasis on the visual!\n
[02:42] ---
A boy in this class, eh?\n
[02:46] ---
Kaneko?\n
[02:49] ---
He stands out too much.\n
[02:51] ---
Just yesterday, there was another\nTV special on his huge family.\n
[02:55] ---
I bet even dates with\nhim would be broadcast live.\n
[02:57] ---
No way, José.\n
[02:59] ---
Okay, then Sannomiya?\n
[03:03] ---
I was busy with transmissions\nfrom the SM78 nebula last night.\n
[03:08] ---
--Were you summoning UFOs again?\n
[03:09] ---
--Sannomiya's gross. It's not him.\n--Were you summoning UFOs again?\n
[03:10] ---
--Sannomiya's gross. It's not him. --No--the UFOs were summoning me!
[03:12] ---
Nope nope!\n
[03:13] ---
What about Takahashi?\n
[03:14] ---
Oh, rats! I lost my backpack somewhere!\n
[03:19] ---
Oh, well.\n
[03:20] ---
Right?\n
[03:21] ---
You bet.\n
[03:22] ---
Yeaaah... I don't think so.\n
[03:25] ---
I heard Takahashi is dating a high-schooler.\n
[03:29] ---
I know! And they're\nliving together under one roof!\n
[03:32] ---
Whaaat?!\n
[03:34] ---
Therefore, the best guy in our class is...\n
[03:40] ---
Master Kaz!\n
[03:42] ---
Take your seats, class.\n
[03:44] ---
Since the teacher's out,\nwe'll use this time to discuss our event\n
[03:48] ---
in the school sports festival.\n
[03:50] ---
--Tetherball!\n--Dodgeball!\n
[03:53] ---
Quiet! Raise your hand if you want to speak.\n
[03:55] ---
Me!\n
[03:58] ---
Kanade Takahashi. Go ahead.\n
[04:02] ---
Someone forgot something in my desk.\n
[04:05] ---
Eep!\n
[04:07] ---
Geez, such tiny writing.\n
[04:10] ---
"I'll be waiting at the equipment shed after class."\n
[04:12] ---
"Public Execution"\n"I'll be waiting at the equipment shed after class."\n
[04:15] ---
That wasn't left behind--that's a challenge!\n
[04:18] ---
Well, challenge accepted! I'll help you out!\n
[04:21] ---
So who's the wise guy?\n
[04:22] ---
Eeeep!\n
[04:24] ---
Some Jane Doe. Looks like a girl's handwriting.\n
[04:26] ---
Hey, isn't that...\n
[04:28] ---
That's a love letter!\n
[04:29] ---
--I'm sure it is! --Totally a love letter.
[04:32] ---
Kanade!\n
[04:32] ---
You are gravely lacking in delicacy!\n
[04:35] ---
Deli-cassie? Is that a lunchmeat?\n
[04:37] ---
It's not food!\n
[04:38] ---
I mean, you're cruel to be reading\na love letter in front of all these people!\n
[04:42] ---
This is a love letter?
[04:44] ---
Aw, it's not a challenge?\n
[04:47] ---
If it's a love letter, then never mind.\nI'm dating someone.\n
[04:53] ---
But hey, Kanade, didn't you\ntwo have a fight yesterday?\n
[04:57] ---
Did you make up?\n
[04:59] ---
No... and she ate my breakfast seaweed, too.\n
[05:02] ---
They're fighting?\n
[05:04] ---
What if they break up?\n
[05:05] ---
Quiet! Takahashi Time is over.\n
[05:09] ---
We'll move on to our main topic:\nthe sports festival.\n
[05:12] ---
By majority rule,\n
[05:15] ---
we've elected to play dodgeball\nin this year's sports festival.\n
[05:20] ---
Frankly, I'm sick of dodgeball.\n
[05:22] ---
What did you expect?\n
[05:24] ---
Some students have matured so suddenly
[05:27] ---
that their physical prowess clearly\ndiffers from that of the rest of the class!\n
[05:30] ---
Ah! I guess you are at a disadvantage, Kaz. Height-wise, I mean.
[05:34] ---
How dare you?! I'm well on my way\ninto my second growth period!\n
[05:40] ---
You apologize to Noguchi!\n
[05:42] ---
--Apologize! Apologize! --I can't hear you! La la la!
[05:46] ---
Takahashi, you're the worst!\n
[05:49] ---
Now, now--everyone calm down.\n
[05:51] ---
Pardon me for losing my composure\nin such a juvenile fashion.\n
[05:57] ---
Looks like I need to grow\nmore both in height and as a person.\n
[06:01] ---
So cool!\n
[06:03] ---
Oh, Master Kaz, you're so grown-up!\n
[06:06] ---
That's a five-year class president\n
[06:09] ---
and future student council president for you.\n
[06:12] ---
Whereas I am destined to take over my family's OB/GYN practice,
[06:16] ---
provide exams to all the girls in this class,\n
[06:18] ---
and guide them through easy childbirth!\n
[06:20] ---
Gross!\n
[06:23] ---
Kanade, don't forget your backpack again!\n
[06:26] ---
Yup!\n
[06:27] ---
Those girls really did a number\non you in today's class meeting, huh?\n
[06:31] ---
I don't care how likeable I am to girls.\n
[06:35] ---
"Wamuu Monthly"\nAnd lately I've gotten so used to being called gross\n
[06:37] ---
that it's actually starting to feel good.\n
[06:39] ---
Seriously? I want them to like me! I wanna be popular!
[06:44] ---
That's an unreasonable\ndemand as long as Kaz is around.\n
[06:47] ---
Kanade!\n
[06:48] ---
Bro?!\n
[06:49] ---
Yo!\n
[06:50] ---
What, that cousin of yours is still around?\n
[06:54] ---
He's staying at our place as of yesterday.\n
[06:56] ---
Huh?\n
[06:57] ---
I been waitin' for ya, Kanade!\n
[07:00] ---
Thought I'd beat some\nmanly spirit into ya, y'know?\n
[07:04] ---
Manly spirit?\n
[07:05] ---
Yeah! If you're a man, ya can't be makin' Kaho-yan cry like that!
[07:10] ---
I'll teach ya a lesson...\n
[07:13] ---
Play a tennis match against me!\n
[07:19] ---
You wanna start a fight, I'll finish it!\n
[07:21] ---
Bring it on!\n
[07:23] ---
I'm tough!\n
[07:26] ---
Here goes!\n
[07:31] ---
I have no idea how to keep score.\n
[07:34] ---
Fear not. Their battle has gone\nfar beyond the concept of points.\n
[07:41] ---
Take this! My killer move...
[07:47] ---
The Tornado Serve of Destiny!\n
[07:54] ---
Drop my guard with the sound of yer recorder,\n
[07:56] ---
then hit me with an ultra-high-speed serve!\nThat's my Kanade!\n
[08:00] ---
Which means I...\n
[08:02] ---
...will speed up this ball as I sack it on back!
[08:05] ---
Here's a ballsack serve, comin' atcha!\n
[08:06] ---
"Ball | Sack"\nHere's a ballsack serve, comin' atcha!\n
[08:16] ---
Well? Didja learn yer lesson? Ya can't beat me!\n
[08:21] ---
I got too good a handle on your weaknesses!\n
[08:24] ---
Weaknesses?\n
[08:26] ---
I don't have any weaknesses!\n
[08:29] ---
Ya once promised a girl\nyou'd marry her, didn't ya?\n
[08:33] ---
Huh? News to me.\n
[08:34] ---
In fact, ya said, "Marry me!"\n
[08:37] ---
I totally did not!\n
[08:39] ---
Oh, I heard it, all right.\n
[08:41] ---
When?!\n
[08:42] ---
What hour? What minute? What second?\n
[08:44] ---
How many times had the earth turned?!\n
[08:46] ---
20 thousand times!\n
[08:48] ---
So, what hour?\n
[08:49] ---
--Happy hour!\n--That's one heck of a battle.\n
[08:50] ---
--What minute?\n--That's one heck of a battle.\n
[08:51] ---
--The last minute!\n--That's one heck of a battle.\n
[08:52] ---
--What second?\n--Does it even have an end?\n
[08:53] ---
--Seconds for dinner!\n--Does it even have an end?\n
[08:59] ---
Ya give pretty good, y'know?\n
[09:03] ---
You, too, Bro.\n
[09:10] ---
Yeah, but Kanade, 's pretty low\nto be forgettin' ya proposed an' all.\n
[09:15] ---
I did not either! You're mixed up somehow.\n
[09:17] ---
Dude, it was Yukie! My moms!\n
[09:21] ---
Oh, I did! When I was a kid!\n
[09:28] ---
Well, Kanade, I got to know yer\nmanly spirit with that tennis match!\n
[09:32] ---
But ya know, ya totally fail as a boyfriend.\n
[09:36] ---
I fail?\n
[09:37] ---
'S like ya don't understand a woman's heart.\n
[09:40] ---
The girls in my class said the same thing.\n
[09:44] ---
Namiko has a short fuse, too.\n
[09:46] ---
She's all "Clear your dishes\nwhen you're done eating"\n
[09:48] ---
and "Don't use so much shampoo."\n
[09:51] ---
I don't really get women.\n
[09:53] ---
Well, women can't be understood in a day.\n
[09:57] ---
You gotta work on it day after day.\n
[09:59] ---
Speaking of a woman's heart...\n
[10:02] ---
If I could be of assistance?\n
[10:10] ---
And with that...\n
[10:12] ---
Our top-secret mission!\n
[10:14] ---
This meeting of the Women's\nHeart Research Team is now in session!\n
[10:18] ---
Whoa, my butt is so breezy!\n
[10:20] ---
Can we really understand\na woman's heart like this?\n
[10:23] ---
I reckon it's the only way,\ndressin' up like this\n
[10:27] ---
to be a woman, body an' soul!\n
[10:30] ---
Okay, time for yer shot! Tee-hee!\n
[10:33] ---
Now that you mention it...\n
[10:35] ---
I feel like I'm starting\nto understand women, too!\n
[10:39] ---
Fair Gin's doing full-throttle channeling!\n
[10:41] ---
The surging cosmic radio waves\nare tingling all through my body!\n
[10:47] ---
Looking good, everyone! Oh, wonderful!\n
[10:53] ---
To think I'd have the chance\nto see my secret stash of costumes\n
[10:55] ---
come to life before my very eyes!\n
[10:57] ---
Hey... hang on a second...\n
[10:59] ---
This also has nothing to do with me, right?
[11:03] ---
So why... why am I...\n
[11:05] ---
Adorable! Those teary\neyes--I'll just take a shot!\n
[11:09] ---
--Clothes make the man, right?\n--This is better than I'd ever dreamed!\n
[11:11] ---
--Clothes make the idiot?\n--This is better than I'd ever dreamed!\n
[11:12] ---
--If only you could wear that every day!\n
[11:13] ---
--We've broken new ground.\n--If only you could wear that every day!\n
[11:15] ---
--Look at Kota, getting all that praise!\n--If only you could wear that every day!\n
[11:16] ---
--Look at Kota, getting all that praise!\n--Ooh, li'l Renren!\n
[11:17] ---
--It's not praise if you're not happy about it!\n--Ooh, li'l Renren!\n
[11:20] ---
That's just fine. Kota's absolutely\ncharming when he's embarrassed!\n
[11:26] ---
See? Most guys put on a skirt\n
[11:29] ---
and get over their nervousness right away.\n
[11:32] ---
Oho! Kanade has grabbed\nJoji's back in a cobra twist!\n
[11:38] ---
Joji is staying close to the ground...\n
[11:43] ---
...and he's flipped him in a figure-four hold!\n
[11:45] ---
But he moves out of the figure-four hold...\n
[11:48] ---
...into a tickler grip!\n
[11:51] ---
That's gotta tickle Kanade till it hurts!\n
[11:57] ---
Tag me in!\n
[12:00] ---
"Live"\n
[12:00] ---
"Live"\nOkay, we've swapped out both wrestlers!\n
[12:04] ---
Ooh, Tom catches Gin in a\nscissor sweep right off the bat!\n
[12:08] ---
What's this? He's movin'\nright into an electric massage!\n
[12:13] ---
"Electric Massage"\n
[12:14] ---
The electric massage is\na secret, forbidden technique\n
[12:18] ---
in primary-school kung-fu.\n
[12:21] ---
Its history dates to before the common era,\n
[12:23] ---
when, while wrestling in an ancient Ol*mpics,\n
[12:25] ---
a certain Elektros Masáz\n
[12:27] ---
began persistently massaging\nhis opponent's crotch with his foot.\n
[12:33] ---
Even now, its mix of pleasure\nand danger give the move\n
[12:36] ---
a strong following as the\nultimate "skinship" between boys.\n
[12:42] ---
C'mon, your clothes are\ngoing to get all wrinkled.\n
[12:45] ---
That's enough wrestling!\n
[12:47] ---
Um... I'm going back to my room.\n
[12:51] ---
Huh? Already?\n
[12:52] ---
Aw, not yet!\n
[12:53] ---
C'mon, Kota, have some fun!\n
[12:55] ---
Look, just because it's fun for you\ndoesn't mean it's fun for everyone.\n
[13:01] ---
You can hurt a person by forcing your ideas on them!
[13:06] ---
I'm not looking to play\nall friendly with you and Joji.\n
[13:12] ---
This isn't fun for me at all!\n
[13:16] ---
Just be honest.\n
[13:18] ---
But in a sense, I feel he's got more\nof a woman's heart than any of us.\n
[13:23] ---
I... remember...\n
[13:26] ---
What Mom said...\nDon't do what someone dislikes.\n
[13:31] ---
So if Kota isn't having fun,\n
[13:34] ---
we shouldn't force him to\ndo something he doesn't like.\n
[13:37] ---
I get it. Real grown-up, Kanade!\n
[13:40] ---
But it looked so good on him!\n
[13:47] ---
That committee meeting went\non longer than I'd expected.\n
[13:50] ---
Quit wafflin'! If you hate that outfit so much,\n
[13:53] ---
take it off already!\n
[14:00] ---
I see London, I see France!\n
[14:04] ---
I-I'll... I'll never get married now!\n
[14:08] ---
They're not down here, so Kanade\nand the gang must be upstairs?\n
[14:29] ---
Tears?\n
[14:31] ---
Oh! My apologies!\n
[14:38] ---
Did she drop this?\n
[14:44] ---
"You are three kinds of sweet-tart berries.\n
[14:47] ---
Your eyes are blueberries.\n
[14:50] ---
Your lips, raspberries.\n
[14:53] ---
Though I want to be by your side always,\nyour fruits are far out of reach."\n
[14:59] ---
What... what is this?\n
[15:02] ---
Wait, please!\n
[15:04] ---
I'm home!\n
[15:09] ---
Kaho!\n
[15:11] ---
Was there a girl here just now?\n
[15:14] ---
A girl? I didn't see anyone.\n
[15:17] ---
That can't be...\n
[15:19] ---
What about her?\n
[15:22] ---
I'm not sure myself...\n
[15:26] ---
But... I want to see her again.\n
[15:30] ---
So badly... so badly, I'm shaking.\n
[15:33] ---
I want to know the reason for her tears.\n
[15:36] ---
Stupidly enough, it's all I can think about.\n
[15:38] ---
What is this I'm feeling?
[15:45] ---
You're pretty cute, you know?\n
[15:49] ---
It's probably... your first love.\n
[15:53] ---
My first love?\n
[15:57] ---
I felt the same way the\nfirst time Kanade and I met.\n
[16:03] ---
I see... So this is my first love...\n
[16:08] ---
Kaz!\n
[16:10] ---
Where've you been?\n
[16:14] ---
I... I seem to have fallen in love...\n
[16:19] ---
Love?!\n
[16:20] ---
With the owner of this poem notebook.\n
[16:23] ---
Her tears and her pure heart touched me so...\n
[16:27] ---
This is it... it's love.\n
[16:32] ---
Huh. Well, can't say I'm real clear on\neverything, but good for you, Kaz!\n
[16:36] ---
Thanks! At last I understand how you\nand Kaho feel, being in love!\n
[16:42] ---
Kaz, the girls' favorite, in love!\n
[16:45] ---
Those girls are going to flip.\n
[16:48] ---
Um... why are you guys dressed like that?\n
[16:52] ---
Can't tell you. We're in the\nmiddle of a top-secret mission.\n
[16:59] ---
I-I see. Sorry. Don't let me keep you.\n
[17:05] ---
This is it: Takahashi's house.\n
[17:07] ---
Is the rumor true about them living together?\n
[17:13] ---
Can I help you?\n
[17:15] ---
Oh, no, er...\n
[17:17] ---
Ah.\n
[17:18] ---
It's dark out, so be careful on your way home.\n
[17:21] ---
"Squee!"\n
[17:23] ---
Grown-up guys really are the best!
[17:32] ---
Women even start out annoying.\n
[17:36] ---
What's the big idea, Kanade?\n
[17:39] ---
Sheesh! It's tutoring time, you know!\n
[17:42] ---
"Hmph!"\nGo on home now, boys!\n
[17:46] ---
Yes, ma'am!\n
[17:47] ---
And you change clothes, Kanade. What are you wearing?
[17:51] ---
Why, Shogo will never trust me\nas a tutor if I let you wear that!\n
[17:56] ---
And that will not happen.
[18:02] ---
Hey, Mafuyu... what would you do\nif you made a special person mad?\n
[18:07] ---
Apologize, apologize, apologize\ntill you're blue in the face!\n
[18:10] ---
Sliding kowtow,\njumping kowtow, rolling kowtow,\n
[18:13] ---
--I still don't know if she'll forgive me.\n--flip kowtow...\n
[18:17] ---
Hmm. That's true.\n
[18:19] ---
Give yourself a punishment.\n
[18:22] ---
Seeing you overcome\nit will show her you're serious.\n
[18:29] ---
Or even... give it to me...\n
[18:32] ---
Punish me... Get angry, Shogo!\n
[18:36] ---
Hurt me!\n
[18:38] ---
Look at me like I'm garbage!\n
[18:42] ---
A punishment, huh?\n
[18:51] ---
I mean, Kanade's a primary-schooler.\n
[18:54] ---
He can't love at the same speed as I can.\n
[19:02] ---
Kaho!\n
[19:04] ---
Kanade...\n
[19:06] ---
Can we talk?\n
[19:08] ---
What a serious face...\n
[19:10] ---
Is this good or bad?\n
[19:16] ---
I've been thinking, about you...\nand about what a "good man" is.\n
[19:23] ---
I'm going to hula-hoop 200 times.\n
[19:27] ---
Sorry?\n
[19:28] ---
To punish my useless self for not\nbeing able to understand the feelings\n
[19:31] ---
of the woman he loves!\n
[19:34] ---
"The woman he loves"? Is that... me?\n
[19:38] ---
My best record is 175 times.\n
[19:41] ---
If I make it to 200, I'd like you\nto forgive me for yesterday\n
[19:45] ---
out of respect for my manly spirit.\n
[19:48] ---
Kanade?\n
[19:50] ---
I will do this--and I won't hand you over to anyone else.
[19:56] ---
Hup!\n
[20:04] ---
This is too surreal, Kanade...\n
[20:36] ---
You're almost at 200!\n
[20:39] ---
You can do it, Kanade!\n
[20:42] ---
195, 196, 19--\n
[21:08] ---
Kaho...\n
[21:10] ---
Let's break up.\n
[21:11] ---
Huh?\n
[22:49] ---
My heart is a drumbeat!\n
[22:52] ---
Even though I can't see,\nI'm still drumming away!\n
[22:57] ---
Look at this grubby Cinderella!\n
[23:00] ---
Oh... Detective...!\n
[23:03] ---
I can't hear you! Again!\n
[23:07] ---
Yes, Professor!\n
[23:08] ---
I am a clumsy, slow,\nand stupid single-celled water flea!\n
[23:16] ---
--Snicker snicker snicker!\n--This is awful...\n
[23:18] ---
--Snicker snicker snicker!\n--Putting sea urchins in my toe shoes?\n
[23:21] ---
My blood is boiling-hot magma!\nTouch me and you'll get burned!\n
[23:25] ---
"Bamboo Primary: 1st Half/2nd Half"\n"Kasumi High: 1st Half/2nd Half"\n
[23:29] ---
Well, boys? Humiliated much?\n
[23:32] ---
We are!\n
[23:34] ---
Dazzling drama doesn't disappoint--\n
[23:36] ---
all on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER!
7 - Sending My Feelings... (To the Bathroom)
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
We're... breaking up?\n
[00:03] ---
Because you failed at the hula-hoop?\n
[00:28] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[01:40] ---
I couldn't make it over\nthe wall that I am to myself.\n
[01:44] ---
So the only thing to do is to break up.\n
[01:46] ---
But you were only three\naway from your 200 target!\n
[01:50] ---
If you round up, that was 200!
[01:52] ---
Round up... shisha gonyu...
[01:54] ---
"The five-breasted dead"\n
[01:56] ---
"Boi-oi-oi-oing"\n
[01:56] ---
--So many boobs...\n
[01:57] ---
--Did... did you say "boobs"?\n--So many boobs...\n
[01:58] ---
--Did... did you say "boobs"?\n--So many boobs... So many boobs...\n
[01:59] ---
--I bet Kanade's picturing something else entirely.\n--So many boobs... So many boobs...\n
[02:04] ---
Kanade...\n
[02:06] ---
I don't want to break up.\n
[02:10] ---
Not when I've just\nreaffirmed that I do love you.\n
[02:15] ---
Kaho...\n
[02:17] ---
Kanade!\n
[02:19] ---
Kanade... don't you get one last chance?\n
[02:23] ---
One last chance?\n
[02:25] ---
Huh?\n
[02:26] ---
It's cool to be hard on yourself and all,\n
[02:28] ---
but isn't a never-give-up spirit what makes a real man?
[02:32] ---
You have a point...\n
[02:34] ---
Kaho, will you give me one last chance?\n
[02:39] ---
Yes, of course!\n
[02:43] ---
Then... we'll throw triplefin for it.\n
[02:45] ---
"Congrats on the Huge Catch!"\n
[02:46] ---
Triplefin?\n
[02:49] ---
Er. whoever wins three rounds of\nrock-paper-scissors is the winner.\n
[02:52] ---
You say "Triplefin!" as you throw.\n
[02:55] ---
Okay, Kaho... let's do this!\n
[02:57] ---
What, with me?!
[02:59] ---
Ready, and...\n
[03:01] ---
Triplefin! Triplefin!\n
[03:05] ---
Triplefin!\n
[03:11] ---
Kaho... you're good at this.\n
[03:14] ---
Why did I have to go and win three in a row?\n
[03:20] ---
I guess this is fate.\n
[03:24] ---
Farewell.\n
[03:26] ---
Poof.\n
[03:30] ---
Kanade...\n
[03:36] ---
Miss Nikaido!\n
[03:39] ---
Why the face?\n
[03:42] ---
If you like Kaho,\nyou should be glad they broke up.\n
[03:47] ---
Why'd you even mention\nthat "one last chance" stuff?\n
[03:50] ---
I just... I don't want to see\nthe person I like looking sad...\n
[03:59] ---
Well, in a sense,\n
[04:00] ---
you did finish them off in the lousiest way possible.
[04:12] ---
From the moment we met...\nthough I didn't know why...\n
[04:16] ---
I was attracted to him...\nhe made my heart pound...\n
[04:20] ---
Soon Kanade was all I could think about.\n
[04:24] ---
Dating or broken up:\n
[04:26] ---
I doubt words like that will\nchange my relationship with him.\n
[04:32] ---
I'm sure my beloved Kanade\nwill still be there tomorrow.\n
[04:37] ---
I don't need to be his girlfriend right now.\n
[04:40] ---
If we can't love at the same speed...\nI'll wait till we can.\n
[04:47] ---
Come tomorrow, I know Kanade will be the same.\n
[04:52] ---
"Sending My Feelings... (To the Bathroom)"\n
[04:55] ---
Brrrm! Boosh! Screee!\n
[04:57] ---
Good morninja!\n
[04:59] ---
Here: the Kanade Times!\n
[05:01] ---
--He's the same old Kanade, all right!\n--Good boy.\n
[05:02] ---
--He's the same old Kanade, all right!\n--Okay, so gimme your seaweed!\n
[05:04] ---
G-Good morning, Kanade!\n
[05:08] ---
Eh?\n
[05:10] ---
You okay?\n
[05:11] ---
I don't need breakfast today...\n
[05:16] ---
Why'd you ignore her?\n
[05:19] ---
We broke up.\n
[05:23] ---
I'm not the type to be friends with my exes.\n
[05:28] ---
--You've never dated\nbefore--how can you be a "type"?\n
[05:28] ---
--Looks like he's seen some\n--You've never dated before--\n
[05:29] ---
--less-than-wholesome TV shows.\n--how can you be a "type"?\n
[05:32] ---
Once you break up,\nnot being nice is best for both of you.\n
[05:35] ---
Did your mom tell you that?\n
[05:39] ---
You just do whatever she says, don't you.\n
[05:42] ---
You love your mother? Like, an Oedipus complex?\n
[05:47] ---
Are you mad?\n
[05:49] ---
Kids get mad when you tell them\nthey have an Oedipus complex.\n
[05:54] ---
There's nothing wrong with loving\nthe person who gave birth to you.\n
[05:59] ---
And I don't do whatever she says.
[06:01] ---
I'm just trusting the words\nof someone I love and trust.\n
[06:08] ---
That's very true.\n
[06:10] ---
I was wrong. Sorry.\n
[06:13] ---
'S okay.\n
[06:15] ---
Must be lonely, not being able to see your mom.\n
[06:18] ---
I'm not lonely. Everyone's here with me.\n
[06:23] ---
Everyone...\n
[06:29] ---
I'll show you Namiko's upbeat riding style!\n
[06:30] ---
"Namiko Kaneko (Tom's Mom)"\nI'll show you Namiko's upbeat riding style!\n
[06:31] ---
I'll show you Namiko's upbeat riding style!\n
[06:39] ---
The demanding game of diving\nthrough a hula-hoop you've thrown\n
[06:43] ---
requires the leg strength\nto run alongside the hoop\n
[06:45] ---
and a high level of balance,\nplus flexibility and decisiveness,\n
[06:50] ---
when jumping through it.\n
[06:52] ---
Records tell of five princes\nin ancient Greece playing this game\n
[06:54] ---
to determine who would take the throne,\n
[06:57] ---
and the theory that this\nwas the origin of the Ol*mpics\n
[07:00] ---
is today considered the most credible.\n
[07:05] ---
Gin, it's your turn!\n
[07:08] ---
But it's a dangerous game... can you keep up?\n
[07:13] ---
The more dangerous the game,\nthe more exciting it is.\n
[07:16] ---
I'll show you a man's game\nthat'll really make your crotch sting!\n
[07:28] ---
What?! Instead of going\nthrough the hoop, he ran past it!\n
[07:33] ---
Uh-oh--this isn't good!\n
[07:35] ---
It's gonna hit your wner!\n
[07:44] ---
Wha--he actually did it!\n
[07:47] ---
Not so fast!\n
[07:50] ---
Huh? Backspin?!
[08:00] ---
R-Right between the cheeks!\n
[08:03] ---
Why do you think I'm always\ntraining my sphincter muscle, huh?\n
[08:09] ---
I should've known: your w°°ner and your butt have airtight defenses!
[08:12] ---
Next up is Kanade. Your turn!\n
[08:14] ---
Go on!\n
[08:16] ---
I don't have the right to\nuse one of those anymore.\n
[08:22] ---
I see.\n
[08:23] ---
So you broke up with her?\n
[08:25] ---
If only I'd played a rock...!\n
[08:29] ---
Aw, chin up.\n
[08:31] ---
There are as many women as stars in the sky--\n
[08:34] ---
that's what my big brother said.\n
[08:36] ---
We have some in our clinic, too. Wanna stop by?\n
[08:39] ---
Gin, Tom...\n
[08:44] ---
Thanks.\n
[08:45] ---
Cut it out--you're making us blush!\n
[08:48] ---
That is what friends are for!\n
[09:00] ---
I do know this isn't what I meant
[09:03] ---
--Should we get a teacher?\n--by "waiting for Kanade"...\n
[09:06] ---
But I'm curious about him.\n
[09:09] ---
Oh, Kanade--\n
[09:13] ---
G-Going home, Takahashi?\n
[09:16] ---
Yeah, Tom and Gin are in the\nbathroom. I'm waiting for them.\n
[09:21] ---
Kanade, I heard you\nbroke up with your girlfriend.\n
[09:23] ---
Yeah, high-school girls are over the hill.\n
[09:27] ---
I'm glad we're through.\n
[09:30] ---
Man, what's keeping them?\nOh, they might be pooping!\n
[09:34] ---
They did have seconds at lunch.
[09:36] ---
U-Uh, yeah, being growing young men and all...\n
[09:39] ---
So anyway, I'm a free agent now.\n
[09:42] ---
Really? Then maybe I'll put in a bid!\n
[09:48] ---
Er, excuse me?\n
[09:50] ---
Yes, what? Can't you see I'm bus--\n
[09:53] ---
Um, what exactly are you doing here?\n
[09:56] ---
I-It's not what you think!\n
[09:58] ---
I'm not a deviant or anything, I just... um...\n
[10:01] ---
I know! I'm just a high-school girl\ninterested in a primary-school boy!\n
[10:05] ---
Come with me.\n
[10:08] ---
Y-You've got it all wrong!\n
[10:12] ---
What is it?\n
[10:13] ---
I guess I'm just hearing things.\n
[10:20] ---
Thanks for waiting, figure skating!\n
[10:21] ---
You fed up? It's a setup!\n
[10:23] ---
Bye, Fukaya.\n
[10:25] ---
Later, gator!\n
[10:27] ---
A moment, if you please?\n
[10:30] ---
Hup!\n
[10:34] ---
I'm terribly sorry for the disturbance.\n
[10:36] ---
No, not at all...\n
[10:38] ---
Hey, it's Kaz's muttler.\n
[10:41] ---
Mutt? His pet?\n
[10:44] ---
Yeah, Kaz's pet.\n
[10:51] ---
Such gracious words!\n
[10:53] ---
Master Kanade, Master Tom, Master Gin...\n
[10:57] ---
Would you please lend me,\nMunemitsu Makurazaki, your assistance?\n
[11:00] ---
Master Kaz is in certain crisis!\n
[11:04] ---
The setup!\n
[11:11] ---
In the ten years since I began\nmy service at the weaning ceremony\n
[11:14] ---
100 days after his birth,\n
[11:15] ---
"Bath" "Akemi's Bar"\n100 days after his birth,\n
[11:17] ---
I have never seen the\nyoung master in such a state.\n
[11:25] ---
Unbelievably, that perfect young master...\n
[11:28] ---
...is confusing his Tuesday\nand Wednesday schedules!\n
[11:32] ---
Failing to arrange his\npencils by length in their case!\n
[11:35] ---
Even misbuttoning his shirts!\n
[11:37] ---
Kaz is?!
[11:39] ---
You could probably let that stuff slide...
[11:41] ---
That must be why. His temperature is 97.2,\n
[11:45] ---
so he is staying home from school.\n
[11:46] ---
Kaz is?!
[11:48] ---
That's a normal temperature.\n
[11:50] ---
"pull pull gnaw pull"\n
[11:50] ---
"pull pull gnaw pull"\nIt would appear that the young master\n
[11:52] ---
"pull pull gnaw pull"\nhas been stricken with lovesickness!\n
[11:55] ---
Huh?!\n
[11:56] ---
Huh.\n
[11:57] ---
Please, I beg of you!\nSeek out the object of his affection!\n
[12:03] ---
And when she is found...\n
[12:05] ---
...for the young master's sake,\nI, Makurazaki, will...!\n
[12:10] ---
All right.\n
[12:12] ---
We're on the case!\n
[12:16] ---
They see the single truth for what it is,\n
[12:18] ---
and look like adults but have the minds of kids!\n
[12:21] ---
Their name? The Bamboo\nPrimary Young Detective Squad!\n
[12:25] ---
And with that, the Young\nDetective Squad is in business!\n
[12:29] ---
C'mon, Jigen!\n
[12:30] ---
Yep!\n
[12:31] ---
Goemon!\n
[12:34] ---
Aren't those thieves, not detectives?\n
[12:37] ---
Okay, so according to our witness's testimony...\n
[12:40] ---
A short while ago,\n
[12:42] ---
I fell in love with the\nowner of this poem notebook.\n
[12:46] ---
Her tears and her pure heart poured\nout in these pages touched me so...\n
[12:52] ---
--Poem?\n--Pure...\n
[12:56] ---
No luck.\n
[12:57] ---
Which means Kasumi House\nwasn't the scene of the crime.\n
[13:01] ---
So where was this going on?\n
[13:04] ---
It didn't happen in the gym!\n
[13:07] ---
Not in the infirmary, either.\n
[13:09] ---
Then the bathrooms? We can't block those off!\n
[13:12] ---
That's... the police, not detectives.\n
[13:15] ---
A girl we've never met...\n
[13:18] ---
I've solved the whole mystery!\n
[13:20] ---
My grandfather's name is Yonekichi!\n
[13:21] ---
Idiot.\n
[13:22] ---
The culprit... is Bathroom Hanako!\n
[13:27] ---
Um, I know I kind of got\nswept up into following you here,\n
[13:30] ---
but I'm going to head back.\n
[13:34] ---
S-Say what?!\n
[13:36] ---
Hanako... is that her name?\n
[13:39] ---
Yep. Our flawless deductions led us right to it.\n
[13:45] ---
I see... So her name is Hanako.\n
[13:53] ---
And where does she live?\n
[13:55] ---
I hate to tell you this, but...\n
[13:57] ---
In the bathroom!\n
[13:59] ---
I-In... the bathroom?!
[14:02] ---
"Bathroom Hanako"\n
[14:02] ---
"Bathroom Hanako"\nOur search revealed that\n
[14:03] ---
"Bathroom Hanako"\nshe's always in the bathroom.\n
[14:06] ---
No way would a lady live somewhere like that!\n
[14:09] ---
Maybe she's got a bad stomach.\n
[14:10] ---
Ah--so she's pooping.\n
[14:13] ---
What a rude thing to say about a lady!\n
[14:14] ---
No, Kaz. Even women get\nupset stomachs sometimes.\n
[14:21] ---
But that means Hanako is suffering\nalone in the bathroom even now...\n
[14:28] ---
Why don't you get some medicine to her?\n
[14:31] ---
I, the future OB/GYN, agree.\n
[14:35] ---
B-But to enter a bathroom with a lady present...\n
[14:39] ---
I-It's far too early!\n
[14:40] ---
What are you saying, Kaz?\n
[14:42] ---
The woman you love is suffering!\n
[14:45] ---
I couldn't ignore that if it were me.\n
[14:48] ---
If it were me...!\n
[14:51] ---
Kanade?\n
[14:53] ---
Kanade broke up with his girlfriend.\n
[14:55] ---
What? Is that true, Kanade?\n
[14:59] ---
It's all over.\n
[15:03] ---
I'm sorry. I--\n
[15:05] ---
But it's not all over for you.\n
[15:08] ---
Get that medicine to the one you\nlove with your own two hands!\n
[15:12] ---
Kanade... what a guy...!\n
[15:16] ---
C'mon, Kaz!\n
[15:18] ---
See? We've got the medicine ready.\n
[15:21] ---
Tom... Gin...\n
[15:30] ---
Why all the snooping around... Kota?
[15:34] ---
More of your usual eavesdropping, eh?\n
[15:37] ---
Pure trash as ever.\n
[15:39] ---
N-No! Kanade just came back really hyped up...\n
[15:44] ---
I didn't want to get involved.\n
[15:46] ---
Yeah, you're a nice toy for those brats.\n
[15:50] ---
Who are you calling a toy?!\n
[15:54] ---
All right!\n
[15:57] ---
The Young Detective Squad is on the move!\n
[16:00] ---
Detectives?\n
[16:01] ---
Yeah.\n
[16:02] ---
Just between us...\n
[16:04] ---
...our sleuthwork has revealed\nwho Kaz's mystery woman is.\n
[16:08] ---
Kaz? Oh, that normal primary-schooler.\n
[16:12] ---
Seems it was love at first sight\nwhen he saw her pure poems\n
[16:15] ---
at our place yesterday.\n
[16:19] ---
Love at first sight, eh?\n
[16:21] ---
Her name is Bathroom Hanako!\n
[16:23] ---
And if we can get the two of\nthem together, it'll be case closed!\n
[16:28] ---
I see...\n
[16:30] ---
Okay, we're off to the scene!\n
[16:32] ---
Now hang on a sec, Kanade!\n
[16:35] ---
Bro!\n
[16:36] ---
I heard all about it.\nDon't be gettin' one up on me, now!\n
[16:40] ---
This is a job for Joji Takahashi,\nprimary-school detective of the west!\n
[16:45] ---
Are you joining us, Bro?!\n
[16:47] ---
The western Takahashi'll step\nforth with the eastern Takahashi!\n
[16:52] ---
It's Takahashi all the way down!\n
[16:56] ---
Um, so... I'll just be going...\n
[17:01] ---
You know something about this.\n
[17:03] ---
I-I don't.\n
[17:05] ---
You know what'll happen\nif you don't tell me... right?\n
[17:11] ---
Actually... Kaz's mystery girl...\n
[17:16] ---
...is probably me, dressed as a girl.\n
[17:19] ---
Huh!\n
[17:21] ---
Ah! You look like you just got a juicy scoop!\n
[17:24] ---
Maaaybe.\n
[17:29] ---
Infiltration complete.\n
[17:30] ---
Oof!\n
[17:31] ---
To the school building!\n
[17:33] ---
--Yep!\n--Roger!\n
[17:33] ---
Dodger!\n
[17:36] ---
For the class president\nto be doing such a thing...\n
[17:39] ---
No--not as long as it's for her.\n
[17:45] ---
How'd I get dragged into this?\n
[17:46] ---
Children need supervision, right? Come on.\n
[17:57] ---
What's that?\n
[17:58] ---
Hanako's poem notebook.\n
[18:01] ---
I thought I'd return it\nthe next time I saw her...\n
[18:04] ---
...so I've kept it on me.\n
[18:06] ---
I see... You know, she might\njust be a lot closer than you think.\n
[18:12] ---
Yes, I never thought we'd be at the same school.\n
[18:16] ---
What the heck?\n
[18:18] ---
It's locked!\n
[18:19] ---
Well, it is night...
[18:22] ---
So that makes this a locked room?\n
[18:24] ---
Well, it's not a room.\n
[18:28] ---
--Anybody there?!\n--Kanade!\n
[18:30] ---
A locked room? That's the perfect crime!\n
[18:33] ---
The primary-school detective\nof the west'll solve this for sure!\n
[18:37] ---
Wait, Bro!\n
[18:38] ---
We might have been way wrong about all this!\n
[18:42] ---
Whatcha mean, Kanade?\n
[18:44] ---
How could Hanako have gotten\ninto the school if it's locked?\n
[18:49] ---
You're right... Teachers should be\nthe only ones with keys to the school.\n
[18:54] ---
Hang on: then Hanako\ncan't get into the bathroom!\n
[18:57] ---
Isn't this conversation taking a strange turn?\n
[19:00] ---
Oh, what's the harm?\n
[19:02] ---
Maybe Hanako could get in without a key.
[19:06] ---
Yeah, but Kanade... if that's true, then...\n
[19:09] ---
Hanako's really a...\n
[19:11] ---
No, that's too unscientific to be true!\n
[19:15] ---
Didn't you know?\n
[19:19] ---
Bathroom Hanako... \n
[19:21] ---
...is a ghost.\n
[19:23] ---
Q?\n
[19:24] ---
Atsushi, are you serious?\n
[19:26] ---
Oh no, oh no, oh no!\n
[19:27] ---
I just remembered something I have to do.\n
[19:29] ---
No, Gin is not running away.
[19:31] ---
I spotted the entrance to the\ncontinent of Mu over there is all.\n
[19:33] ---
Y-Y'all are a buncha babies\nif y'all are scared of a li'l ghost...\n
[19:36] ---
Hanako's a ghost?\n
[19:38] ---
So I'm betting the girl you like is not Bathroom Hanako.
[19:45] ---
G-Guys?\n
[19:47] ---
Aw, they left!\n
[19:50] ---
Kids are the best.\n
[19:52] ---
If you were going to tell them she was a ghost,\n
[19:54] ---
you should've told them right away!\n
[19:56] ---
Who's there?\n
[19:59] ---
You handle this, you stupid spook!
[20:01] ---
Let's go.\n
[20:02] ---
Ah! Wait up!\n
[20:04] ---
Hey, you! Stop right there!\n
[20:13] ---
Hanako...\n
[20:18] ---
We can't be having this, you know.\n
[20:21] ---
Pulling this nonsense twice in one day?\n
[20:25] ---
I don't know what made me do it!\n
[21:59] ---
Poop!\n
[22:01] ---
--Poop!\n--Poop!\n
[22:02] ---
Why are you so excited to be\ntalking about p--er, number two?\n
[22:09] ---
"The School-Pooping Problem"\n
[22:09] ---
Now, it seems there were once\nmany children who couldn't p--\n
[22:13] ---
--...go number two in the school bathrooms.\n
[22:15] ---
--My turn at last! Phew!\n--...go number two in the school bathrooms.\n
[22:19] ---
Yeah, we were like that when we were kids.\n
[22:23] ---
Arashi! It's the other way around!\n
[22:24] ---
Your spoken line and\nyour inner monologue are switched!\n
[22:28] ---
Found out, eh?\n
[22:29] ---
It sure was rough back then.\n
[22:33] ---
Once they found out\nyou did number two at school,\n
[22:35] ---
you'd get stuck with the\nnickname "Pooperman" till graduation.\n
[22:40] ---
So what did you do when you had to poop?\n
[22:43] ---
Just hold it till you get home... maybe?\n
[22:46] ---
What if you couldn't?
[22:51] ---
If ya don't wanna get caught,\ndo it before anyone sees ya.\n
[22:55] ---
The Naniwa Speed Coaster\nis a speedy pooper, too!\n
[22:59] ---
But why hide it? Everyone poops, right?\n
[23:04] ---
Amen. Heck, I always tell\nthe girls before I'm off to poop.\n
[23:08] ---
Please, Gin, show some restraint.\n
[23:12] ---
But it really was rough.\n
[23:14] ---
I don't go to the bathroom.\n
[23:16] ---
Huh?\n
[23:17] ---
Yeah, but...\n
[23:19] ---
I don't.\n
[23:20] ---
T-Taga?\n
[23:21] ---
I don't.
[23:23] ---
Are you an idol?\n
[23:25] ---
Ken Tanaka here.\n
[23:26] ---
Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:29] ---
Ken. Tanaka. Ken Tanaka here.\n
[23:33] ---
All on the next *FIRST LOVE MONSTER|: *
[23:35] ---
"Kanade's Telephone Helpline."\n
[23:38] ---**
Sorry. I'm off today.\n
8 - Kanade's Telephone Helpline
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:24] ---
I'm not about to lose! My justice will never lose!
[00:29] ---
It's always the same with you!\n
[00:31] ---
Time to realize the error of your ways!\n
[00:36] ---
Which one? Who will it be?!\n
[00:48] ---
Kanade!\n
[00:55] ---
Tom!\n
[01:01] ---
T-Tom won!\n
[01:03] ---
No...\n
[01:06] ---
The real winner is love.\n
[01:13] ---
I-It's poop!\n
[01:19] ---
Phew! That was a blast!\n
[01:22] ---
--I'm exhausted.\n--Next time, let's have a space-robot war!\n
[01:25] ---
Yeah!\n
[01:29] ---
"Love," huh?\n
[01:52] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[03:03] ---
"Kanade's Telephone Helpline"\n
[03:07] ---
"Security Office"\n
[03:14] ---
Thank you very much for everything.\n
[03:16] ---
Get home safe, now.\n
[03:18] ---
Yes, sir.\n
[03:23] ---
Sorry you had to come and get me, Mr. Takahashi.\n
[03:27] ---
Why were you snooping around\na primary school in the first place?\n
[03:49] ---
Kaho's in a real fix.\n
[03:51] ---
And she can't talk about it.\n
[04:04] ---
To be ignored by her ex Kanade and mistaken for a stalker?
[04:09] ---
It's complicated, huh.\n
[04:12] ---
Oh, that's right: you got a call from home.\n
[04:15] ---
Huh?\n
[04:16] ---
They said you weren't answering\nyour cell. It seemed urgent.\n
[04:21] ---
"Received Calls: Brother"\n"87 New Calls"\n
[04:22] ---
Oh!\n
[04:24] ---
That urgent, huh?
[04:26] ---
You have telegrams, too.\n
[04:29] ---
"Telegram"\n"Miss Kaho Nikaido: Contact ASAP"\n
[04:32] ---
Look at them all...\n
[04:33] ---
I-I'll just give him a call.\n
[04:43] ---
What's with that moan?!\n
[04:45] ---
I... I'm going home!\n
[04:48] ---
What?!\n
[05:00] ---
Hey, Kanade, what was\nyour deal in dodgeball today?\n
[05:03] ---
Going down in one hit--isn't your heart in it?\n
[05:09] ---
I've got something to say, too. Look here!\n
[05:13] ---
When it comes to serving fair\nlunch portions, you can't be beat!\n
[05:18] ---
So why do I have two carrots?!
[05:21] ---
It's not like you!\n
[05:25] ---
He's right. It's not.\n
[05:28] ---
I can't say I'm quite myself yet either,\n
[05:31] ---
but looking at you, I think we're the same.\n
[05:37] ---
Kanade, you're lovesick, aren't you.\n
[05:41] ---
You did break up with that one girl, right?\n
[05:43] ---
So it's a new girl?\n
[05:45] ---
What a play-ball!\n
[05:47] ---
Right?\n
[05:47] ---
That's playboy!
[05:49] ---
Hanako.\n
[05:51] ---
Who's Hanako?\n
[05:52] ---
Hey! Are you listening? Who's Hanako?!\n
[05:59] ---
Kaho...\n
[06:08] ---
What the heck is going on with Kanade, anyway?\n
[06:11] ---
At times like this, there's only\none thing we, as friends, can do!\n
[06:16] ---
The Ten-Time Quiz!\n
[06:18] ---
Yay! Yum-yum eat-'em-up!\n
[06:20] ---
Kanade, say "rest" ten times.\n
[06:23] ---
Rest, rest, rest, rest,\nrest, rest, rest, rest...\n
[06:30] ---
In the "ten-time quiz" game,\n
[06:32] ---
one person makes another\nsay a given word ten times,\n
[06:34] ---
then asks a question to provoke\nan incorrect, yet amusing response.\n
[06:39] ---
It is said to have its roots in ancient Rome,\n
[06:42] ---
where a pizzeria owner would\njab his customers with his elbow\n
[06:46] ---
when they inevitably fell for\nhis trick and said "knee" instead.\n
[06:51] ---
...rest, rest.\n
[06:53] ---
Now add a B!\n
[06:56] ---
Rest-buh.
[06:58] ---
Huh?!\n
[06:59] ---
No, it's "breast"! "Breast"!\n
[07:01] ---
That's right! Kanade got it wrong! Ha-ha!\n
[07:06] ---
Kanade...\n
[07:08] ---
He got it wrong!\n
[07:10] ---
Rest-buh!
[07:12] ---
I'm home.\n
[07:13] ---
Pardon the intrusion.\n
[07:14] ---
Hey, Kanade.\n
[07:15] ---
We're having your favorite tonight:\nbatter-fried fishcake with seaweed.\n
[07:19] ---
You're supposed to gargle when you get home.\n
[07:26] ---
What's going on with Kanade?\n
[07:29] ---
I think he must be lovesick.\n
[07:31] ---
Huh?!\n
[07:32] ---
That Kanade? That's not Kanade.\n
[07:35] ---
But I don't know what to do.\nI followed him home, but...\n
[07:39] ---
Oh, I see. Now that is a problem.
[07:43] ---
"Children's Telephone Helpline - Got questions\nor problems you can't talk to Mom about?"\n
[07:47] ---
"Children's Telephone Helpline"?\n
[07:50] ---
You mean, kids can call this number\n
[07:52] ---
and a grown-up will answer all their questions?\n
[07:55] ---
All of them?!
[07:57] ---
Really? Awesome! Let's do it!\n
[07:59] ---
What are we gonna ask, huh? Huh?\n
[08:00] ---
--They help with your problems...?\n--Something naughty?\n
[08:03] ---
Kanade! Don't you have something you want to ask?
[08:07] ---
M-Me?\n
[08:08] ---
Oh! I have something\nI wanna ask a grown-up about!\n
[08:11] ---
You do?!\n
[08:12] ---
Yes.\n
[08:13] ---
Okay, let's borrow Dad's cell!\n
[08:16] ---
Yeah!\n
[08:17] ---
Yesss!\n
[08:19] ---
Kanade and the gang seem interested, anyway.\n
[08:22] ---
When you mentioned running\na children's telephone hotline,\n
[08:26] ---
I wasn't sure what to expect.\n
[08:28] ---
I just wanted to help out those kids,\nso worried about Kanade.\n
[08:32] ---
But really?\n
[08:33] ---
Do you think Kaz will call anytime soon?\n
[08:36] ---
I've got something to ask him!
[08:40] ---
--Don't the kids do the asking? --Like about you-know-what and such-and so!
[08:42] ---
--This can't end well.\n--And you-know-where!\n
[08:49] ---
Hello?\n
[08:51] ---
Excuse me, is this the\nChildren's Telephone Helpline?\n
[08:55] ---
It's Kaz! So soon?!
[09:02] ---
Um, hello?\n
[09:04] ---
What underwear are you wearing?\n
[09:09] ---
Wh-What happened?\n
[09:10] ---
I must have dialed the\nwrong number. I got a pervert.\n
[09:14] ---
Arashi, don't tell me *that's *what you wanted to ask him!
[09:17] ---
I instinctively blurted out\n
[09:20] ---
--You're the worst!\n--what I most wanted to ask!\n
[09:21] ---
--Those kids are taking these calls seriously!\n--what I most wanted to ask!\n
[09:24] ---
Next time, I'm picking up!
[09:26] ---
"Incoming Call"\n
[09:33] ---
H-Hello, Children's Telephone Helpline.\n
[09:36] ---
I have a question: Which is softer, a rest-buh--
[09:38] ---
er, a breast or a cream puff?\n
[09:42] ---
Whaaat?!\n
[09:43] ---
Breasts: close encounters of the third kind.\n
[09:46] ---
Who cares about that stuff?\n
[09:47] ---
Huh?!\n
[09:48] ---
Th-that's right. Boring.\n
[09:51] ---
It is not! Let's see you answer, Kaz!
[09:55] ---
You might have touched a breast,\nso you know which is softer!\n
[09:59] ---
I-I don't know! Don't ask me!\n
[10:02] ---
Something's fishy!\n
[10:03] ---
Normally you'd say, "That's not even possible!"\n
[10:06] ---
No way--have you seriously\nfelt up a girl's breasts?\n
[10:10] ---
I didn't say I felt them up!\n
[10:12] ---
I-I just bumped into them!\n
[10:15] ---
So you touched them? Whose? Hanako's?!
[10:17] ---
Hanako's, right?\n
[10:18] ---
Quit being weird!\n
[10:20] ---
The helpline person will hear--\n
[10:23] ---
What's up, Kota?\n
[10:25] ---
He just bumped into them!\n
[10:27] ---
Lucky! I'd like to touch and\npet girl-mode Kota's breasts,\n
[10:31] ---
even watch him from afar and take pictures,\n
[10:33] ---
play guessing-games like, "Is this your nipple?"
[10:36] ---
And if that's off-limits,\n
[10:36] ---
--He just bumped into them!\n--then I can move to his...\n
[10:38] ---
I'm asking you nicely: please stop!\n
[10:40] ---
Why would you even say such things?\n
[10:42] ---
Don't you have a girlfriend? What about Chiaki?\n
[10:45] ---
Kota, I love Chiaki more\nthan anyone in the world.\n
[10:51] ---
However...\n
[10:53] ---
What I'm saying is: I love Chiaki, but I desire girl-boys.
[11:00] ---
For a second there, you'd created this illusion\n
[11:02] ---
that you'd said something amazing.\n
[11:05] ---
A first-rate pervert's trick.\n
[11:07] ---
You flatter me.\n
[11:10] ---
Advice?\n
[11:12] ---
It doesn't have to be.\n
[11:14] ---
Just what you're thinking, what's bothering you.\n
[11:17] ---
Putting it into words\nshould help you understand.\n
[11:30] ---
Hello?\n
[11:32] ---
Is this the Children's Telephone Helpline?\n
[11:35] ---
Yes, it is.\n
[11:37] ---
I...\n
[11:40] ---
What is it?\n
[11:43] ---
Don't overthink it.\nJust say whatever's on your mind.\n
[11:51] ---
I thought I wasn't lonely with everyone here.\n
[11:55] ---
Yes?\n
[11:57] ---
But I am lonely, somehow.
[12:01] ---
Why is that?\n
[12:05] ---
I want to talk about\nour class killifish laying eggs,\n
[12:08] ---
but the crayfish I put in the tank ate them all.\n
[12:11] ---
And about Hanako who lives in the bathroom,\n
[12:14] ---
and about Gin throwing up\nthe carrots he ate at lunch...\n
[12:19] ---
You can tell me.\n
[12:22] ---
I want to tell Kaho.\n
[12:27] ---
Aren't you the one who ignored her?
[12:30] ---
Yeah, but a world without Kaho is hell!\n
[12:39] ---
Don't tell me...\n
[12:41] ---
I just can't. I can't stand\nnot being able to see her!\n
[12:50] ---
H-Hello? Um, if you've realized\nsomeone is precious to you,\n
[12:56] ---
you should tell them!\n
[12:59] ---
Tell her?\n
[13:00] ---
That's right--tell her!\n
[13:03] ---
She's not around anymore.\n
[13:07] ---
Why not?!\n
[13:08] ---
She went home.\n
[13:09] ---
Huh?\n
[13:11] ---
You might not see her again.\n
[13:22] ---
So what's the plan?\n
[13:25] ---
If you're okay with this,\nthen it's over and done with.\n
[13:28] ---
I'm not.\n
[13:30] ---
So... what's the plan?\n
[13:33] ---
I...\n
[13:35] ---
I'm going to get Kaho!\n
[14:04] ---
So you're really going?\n
[14:11] ---
Yeah.\n
[14:12] ---
Miss Nikaido's from Kanazawa,\nout in the Hokuriku region!\n
[14:15] ---
That's five hours by car.\n
[14:18] ---
And yet...\n
[14:20] ---
You're going by bike?!
[14:22] ---
What are you talking about?\nIf you have a bike, you can go anywhere!\n
[14:26] ---
I'm going, too!\n
[14:28] ---
Travel with a friend, live with compassion!\n
[14:31] ---
Me, too. There've been\nUFO sightings where we're headed!\n
[14:36] ---
I'm comin' along, too!\nI'll head home to Osaka on the way!\n
[14:39] ---
--Not by bike you're not!\n--Gin, what the heck is that?\n
[14:41] ---
--It's too dangerous for primary-schoolers,\n--Seaweed!\n
[14:42] ---
--It's too dangerous for primary-schoolers,\n--The dried kind?\n
[14:43] ---
--Osaka is in the other direction,\n--The dried kind?\n
[14:44] ---
--Osaka is in the other direction,\n--Nope, fresh!\n
[14:44] ---
--you're not listening...\n--Nope, fresh!\n
[14:45] ---
--you're not listening... --Huh? What's that for?
[14:46] ---
We're doing this...\n
[14:47] ---
--Yeah?\n--...fresh...\n
[14:48] ---
--Oh?\n--...and funky!\n
[14:49] ---
Really?!\n
[14:50] ---
--You need a helmet.\n--Awesome!\n
[14:52] ---
Thank you!\n
[14:54] ---
Okay, see you 'round and around, propeller!\n
[14:56] ---
Propeller!\n
[14:58] ---
Go!\n
[15:04] ---
Where are you going, Taga?
[15:06] ---
Why does it matter?\n
[15:09] ---
You're so nice.\n
[15:26] ---
Care for a boxed lunch, ice cream, beer, coffee?\n
[15:31] ---
What kind of lunches do you have?\n
[15:34] ---
Sandwiches, futomaki sushi, and a seaweed set.
[15:38] ---
A seaweed set, then.\n
[15:40] ---
Thank you very much!\n
[15:45] ---
Seaweed: Kanade's favorite.\n
[15:48] ---
Kaho, gimme your seaweed!\n
[15:50] ---
Stare.\n
[15:54] ---
Here!\n
[15:55] ---
Hooray!\n
[15:56] ---
It's a festival of seaweed! Seaweed, yay!\n
[16:02] ---
Three-second rule! Annnd safe!\n
[16:07] ---
Ah! My little seaweed pals!\n
[16:24] ---
First stage: the straightaway!\n
[16:27] ---
Just leave straightaways\nto the Naniwa Speed Coaster here!\n
[16:35] ---
Ain't nobody passin' me by, I tell ya what!\n
[16:42] ---
What is it, Speed Coaster?\n
[16:44] ---
I forgot the one thing that can cramp my style!\n
[16:48] ---
What?!\n
[16:49] ---
Red lights!\n
[16:56] ---
It's a long one.\n
[16:57] ---
"Against the red light..."\n
[16:59] ---
"If we all cross together..."\n
[17:00] ---
"...there's nothing to fear!"\n
[17:01] ---
No!\n
[17:03] ---
Why not, Kanade?\nWe're trying to get you there faster!\n
[17:07] ---
Don't you even care?\n
[17:08] ---
"Crossing"\nDon't you even care?\n
[17:09] ---
Would you crush the feelings\nof the crossing guard,\n
[17:12] ---
who helps us cross with a\n"Take care and see you later"?\n
[17:15] ---
Yeah, my moms is a crossing guard.\n
[17:19] ---
She dresses all in yellow tiger-stripes, though.\n
[17:21] ---
Hey, the light changed.\n
[17:45] ---
Second stage: the slope!\n
[17:48] ---
I'll handle the climb!\n
[17:51] ---
Huff, huff, huff, huff!\n
[17:57] ---
Isn't this when people drop out from heat,\nexhaustion, and loss of focus?\n
[18:01] ---
Here's where it comes down to guts!\n
[18:04] ---
Bro!\n
[18:05] ---
Don't worry about me!\n
[18:08] ---
Go on, Kanade!\n
[18:11] ---
I'm sorry, Bro!\n
[18:15] ---
Third stage: the mountain!\n
[18:17] ---
We're crossing that mountain!\n
[18:19] ---
Why?\n
[18:20] ---
Is it a shortcut?\n
[18:21] ---
Because it's there!\n
[18:24] ---
Got it!\n
[18:26] ---
Huff, huff, huff, huff!\n
[18:30] ---
Tom!\n
[18:33] ---
Tom! Gin!\n
[18:36] ---
Kanade!\n
[18:37] ---
Dog poop!\n
[18:42] ---
Kanade!\n
[18:49] ---
"Select! Fresh Wakame - Full of Minerals"\n
[19:02] ---
'S no use, huh.\n
[19:03] ---
What can you do? We all got flats.\n
[19:06] ---
I've got to get to cram school.\n
[19:09] ---
Kanade, it's time.\n
[19:12] ---
I won't give up.\n
[19:14] ---
I'm going, even if I have to walk--or crawl!\n
[19:18] ---
Kanade!\n
[19:23] ---
If you want to go that badly, hop in.\n
[19:28] ---
Atsushi!\n
[19:31] ---
I'll take care of your machine!\n
[19:33] ---
Tom!\n
[19:33] ---
Never fear--I'll make it to cram school on time!\n
[19:36] ---
Gin!\n
[19:37] ---
Show 'em your manly spirit!\n
[19:54] ---
See you later!\n
[20:01] ---
Well, here I am.\n
[20:08] ---
Hello?\n
[22:09] ---
"Afterclass Homeroom"\n
[22:12] ---
Boy, do I have a scoop for you!\n
[22:16] ---
According to my big brothers,\n
[22:18] ---
when you're going\n40 miles per hour on your bike\n
[22:20] ---
and you do this...
[22:21] ---
...it feels like a breast!\n
[22:24] ---
--Cool!\n--What? It does?\n
[22:26] ---
It's called "air petting"!\n
[22:28] ---
So it's all-you-can-touch boobs!\n
[22:30] ---
Worth a try, huh?\n
[22:32] ---
But can you even go 40 miles per hour?
[22:36] ---
Let a grown-up show you how it's done!\n
[22:39] ---
Good luck, Arashi!\n
[22:40] ---
Fight!\n
[22:47] ---
Kaz, isn't this 40 yet?\n
[22:50] ---
Why are you asking Kaz?\n
[22:52] ---
B-Because he's good at numbers?\n
[22:56] ---
Because Kaz is beautiful!\n
[22:59] ---
What?!\n
[23:00] ---
Tell me, Kaz: am I... am I there yet?\n
[23:05] ---
I can't wait! I'm there! Ohhh, I'm so there!
[23:09] ---
Shut up.\n
[23:13] ---
Taga, you can kick me more...\n
[23:16] ---
--You damn pathogen.\n--Hello, police?\n
[23:18] ---
--Fantasy abandonment?\n--We have a deviant here.\n
[23:20] ---
--Sure! I'm the strongest around!\n--Please come right away.\n
[23:21] ---
Yes. The address is...\n
[23:25] ---
Renren here!\n
[23:26] ---
Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:28] ---
"Kaho reunites with her brother Daikoku\nat her family home in Kanazawa."\n
[23:29] ---
"Meanwhile, Kanade and Taga arrive,\nhot on her trail! It's a standoff:"\n
[23:30] ---
"Daikoku, Kaho, Kanade, Taga. Who'll make the first move?" All on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:
[23:33] ---
"A Hushed and Crabby Love Song"!\n
[23:35] ---
And now let's do an impression\nof a boiled Echizen crab!\n
[23:38] ---
Ready, and: chon!\n
9 - A Hushed and Crabby Love Song
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:36] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"
[01:48] ---
"A Hushed and Crabby Love Song"
[01:54] ---
Well, here I am.\n
[01:58] ---
Hello?\n
[02:05] ---
Father? Mother?\n
[02:20] ---
Is this...\n
[02:21] ---
"Kaho's Room"
[02:39] ---
Kaho!\n
[02:40] ---
Kaho! Kaho!\n
[02:43] ---
My brother! What are you doing here?\n
[02:45] ---
You're back from America?\n
[02:48] ---
Yes, my project has slowed down a bit.\n
[02:51] ---
But once I arrived, I found my dear\nKaho had moved out on her own,\n
[02:55] ---
with Father and the rest gone\nto some random villa or the like.\n
[02:59] ---
The place is utterly deserted!\n
[03:02] ---
And so you got in touch with me.\n
[03:06] ---
From all your phone messages\nand telegrams, it seemed serious.\n
[03:10] ---
I got worried and came by.\n
[03:12] ---
It all worked out.\n
[03:14] ---
It brought us siblings\ntogether again, just the two of us--\n
[03:17] ---
and for that, I'm glad.\n
[03:19] ---
But, hey, what's with all these kokeshi dolls?
[03:24] ---
Yes--aren't they all so adorable?\n
[03:27] ---
There are lots of theories behind kokeshi,
[03:29] ---
but I like the one where the\nname means "child transformed."\n
[03:33] ---
When I could not cherish you, I would make a kokeshi, coo over it,
[03:38] ---
and distract myself from my loneliness.\n
[03:40] ---
Oh, but today is the best day ever for me!\n
[03:45] ---
I am grateful, ever so grateful that you have come, Kaho!
[03:52] ---
Why did you leave this place\nand start living on your own?\n
[03:57] ---
I thought it over, in my way.\n
[04:00] ---
I... I... I'm so sad.\n
[04:04] ---
My darling delicate Kaho,\nsullied and shattered in the big city...\n
[04:09] ---
It made me realize that I'd grown\ntoo dependent on you and my family\n
[04:14] ---
as you tried to protect me.\n
[04:16] ---
Please, depend on me! Lean on me so hard...
[04:23] ---
It's not just that. All my own problems...\n
[04:28] ---
I blamed them on my family, on everyone else.\n
[04:31] ---
I'm sorry.\n
[04:33] ---
By all means, go ahead and blame me.\n
[04:37] ---
It's all my fault. I went to America\n
[04:42] ---
and couldn't rescue you\nwhen you were in anguish.\n
[04:45] ---
No, it's not your fault.\n
[04:50] ---
You know, I've been wondering.\n
[04:54] ---
Why exactly did you go to America, anyway?\n
[04:57] ---
Mother and Father said they didn't\nknow the reasons behind it, either.\n
[05:02] ---
Oh, never mind about me!\n
[05:07] ---
H-How about we watch some TV? Hmm?\n
[05:13] ---
♪ C-C-C-Crab! ♪\n
[05:17] ---
♪ C-C-C-Crabbity crab! ♪\n
[05:20] ---
♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab! ♪\n
[05:24] ---
♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab crab! ♪\n
[05:27] ---
--♪ Let's eat crab ♪\n
[05:28] ---
--I know--\n--♪ Let's eat crab ♪\n
[05:29] ---
--tonight we shall dine on beautiful Echizen crab!\n--♪ Let's eat crab ♪\n
[05:32] ---
--Oh, my!\n--♪ Let's eat crab ♪\n
[05:34] ---
♪ C-C-C-Crab! ♪\n
[05:37] ---
--Crab, crab, crab...\n--♪ C-C-C-Crabbity crab! ♪\n
[05:46] ---
Hey, where'd you get this car?\n
[05:49] ---
It's a rental.\n
[05:51] ---
You rented it for me?\n
[05:54] ---
Guess so.\n
[05:55] ---
Why are you so nice to me, anyway?\n
[06:01] ---
I lost my mom, too, when I was about your age.\n
[06:07] ---
Seeing you reminds me of my childhood...\n
[06:12] ---
And I can't let you be.\n
[06:14] ---
Huh. But you sure are mean to Kaho.\n
[06:18] ---
It's not like she's the only one I'm mean to.\n
[06:23] ---
The woman my dad remarried was like that.\n
[06:28] ---
I hate wishy-washy women.\n
[06:30] ---
Wishy-washy? But Kaho...\n
[06:42] ---
"Kanazawa - Toyama" "Takaoka"
[06:44] ---
"Nikaido"
[06:45] ---
Come, you must be hungry.\nDinner is ready at last.\n
[06:49] ---
I had no time to prepare--\n
[06:51] ---
I'm afraid this meager meal\nis all the caterer could offer.\n
[06:54] ---
Our household's sensibilities\nare as wonky as ever.\n
[06:58] ---
It's just right. Let's dig in!\n
[07:01] ---
Bon appétit.\n
[07:07] ---
That seasoned seaweed would remind me of Kanade...
[07:12] ---
Wh-What is it?\n
[07:14] ---
Gimme your seaweed.\n
[07:15] ---
Oh, uh, here.\n
[07:17] ---
Thank you!\n
[07:19] ---
Was it not to your liking?\n
[07:22] ---
It was.\n
[07:34] ---
Kaho sucked on these very crab shells\nwith her own darling mouth.\n
[07:40] ---
And this is the pit from the picked plum\n
[07:43] ---
that Kaho placed in\nher mouth and licked all over!\n
[07:50] ---
Daikoku?\n
[07:52] ---
How did you find your bath?\n
[07:54] ---
Thanks for letting me go first. It felt great.\n
[07:58] ---
Good to hear. You must be exhausted.\n
[08:02] ---
I used a futon dryer to\nget your bed nice and fluffy.\n
[08:08] ---
Um... I'm going back to Tokyo tomorrow.\n
[08:12] ---
To Tokyo?! No! Just a little longer?\n
[08:17] ---
You came all this way--why\nnot take it easy for a while?\n
[08:20] ---
This just... feels like I'm running away.\n
[08:24] ---
Running away? What from?\n
[08:27] ---
Sorry--I am exhausted. I'm turning in.
[08:31] ---
Good night.\n
[08:35] ---
Good night, Kaho.\n
[08:43] ---
It's not like I'll have any messages... right?\n
[08:51] ---
Kaho seemed a little off somehow.\n
[08:58] ---
What on earth happened to her in Tokyo?\n
[09:13] ---
A doting brother such as\nmyself cannot help but worry.\n
[09:19] ---
Good morning!\n
[09:21] ---
Good morning, Kaho. Breakfast is served.\n
[09:29] ---
Starting the day with another feast, I see.\n
[09:32] ---
You seemed a bit unwell yesterday,\n
[09:35] ---
so I put in a special order with the caterer\n
[09:37] ---
for snapping-turtle soup and roast eel on rice.\n
[09:40] ---
Huh? I... I seemed unwell?\n
[09:44] ---
Correct. You may put on a\nbrave face, but your brother can tell.\n
[09:50] ---
Kaho... was it something\npainful that sent you back here?\n
[09:57] ---
G-Good morning, Kanade!\n
[10:02] ---
I can't hide anything from you, huh.\n
[10:05] ---
Well, I have been looking out for my darling sister all this time.
[10:10] ---
The truth is...\n
[10:14] ---
I fell in love.\n
[10:16] ---
Love?!\n
[10:18] ---
Yes. My first love.\n
[10:20] ---
And this rogue is in Tokyo?\n
[10:23] ---
What's his occupation? His pedigree?\n
[10:26] ---
He must be quite the smooth\ncustomer to win your heart!\n
[10:30] ---
Oh, um, actually, it's over. I've been dumped.\n
[10:35] ---
Dumped?!\n
[10:37] ---
It can't be! There are villains in this world who would dump Kaho?!
[10:48] ---
Kaho! Come out and play!\n
[10:51] ---
Huh? That voice...\n
[10:54] ---
Is that Kanade?\n
[10:58] ---
"Nikaido"
[10:59] ---
"Nikaido"\nKaho! Come out and play!\n
[11:02] ---
You came to play?
[11:04] ---
So what should I say?\n
[11:06] ---
Kaho! Come out and make up!\n
[11:14] ---
Kaho isn't here right now.\n
[11:16] ---
When is she coming back?\n
[11:17] ---
She's never coming back.
[11:20] ---
Daikoku! What are you doing?!\n
[11:23] ---
Hey, Kaho is too here!
[11:25] ---
Kanade! And Taga...\n
[11:28] ---
What are you doing here, Kanade?\n
[11:31] ---
I came to see you.\nTo tell you how I really feel.\n
[11:38] ---
Wait!\n
[11:39] ---
You lied. And you keep getting in the way.\n
[11:43] ---
I beg your pardon?\n
[11:45] ---
Oh, Daikoku, this is--\n
[11:48] ---
Who are you, anyway?
[11:49] ---
Who are you?
[11:51] ---
Her brother!\n
[11:52] ---
Her ex-boyfriend!\n
[11:53] ---
Her ex, eh? I've heard about you!
[11:56] ---
The shiftless fiend who dumped Kaho!\nI will not forgive you!\n
[12:02] ---
Kaho! Let's talk over there, alone.\n
[12:06] ---
I won't let you! You'll go off\ninto the shadows, just you two,\n
[12:11] ---
and you'll sm-sm-sm-*smooch *or something, I know it!
[12:15] ---
Smooch? Oh, we've done that already.\n
[12:22] ---
I-I won't allow it!\nI'm her brother, and I say no!\n
[12:25] ---
We shall have a proper duel!\n
[12:28] ---
A duel?\n
[12:31] ---
Red Light, Green Light!\n
[12:34] ---
Gr--\n
[12:35] ---
Green light... red light!\n
[12:41] ---
--Green light...\n--This confrontation of the century,\n
[12:44] ---
with Kaho on the line,\nis "Red Light, Green Light"?!\n
[12:46] ---
Green light...\n
[12:48] ---
So you say, but you sure\nare going along with it.\n
[12:52] ---
And just who in blazes are you?\n
[12:54] ---
Red light!\n
[12:56] ---
Phooey--no one's moving!\n
[12:59] ---
Green light...\n
[13:03] ---
Daikoku, that's Taga.\nWe live in the same building.\n
[13:07] ---
The same building?\n
[13:08] ---
Don't fret: I have zero interest in your sister.\n
[13:13] ---
Red light!\n
[13:15] ---
Green light...\n
[13:17] ---
I don't know whether to be relieved\nor insulted by your rudeness.\n
[13:21] ---
Kaho is super-cute!\n
[13:24] ---
...and... red light!\n
[13:27] ---
--Green light...\n--Say, why is that ex-boyfriend wearing gym clothes?\n
[13:35] ---
Is it that--that "cosplay" thing?\n
[13:37] ---
Believe it or not,\nhe's in fifth grade. Primary school.\n
[13:41] ---
Red light!\n
[13:42] ---
Fifth grade, with that appearance?\nEnough with your joking around!\n
[13:47] ---
Ask your sister if I'm joking.\n
[13:51] ---
Red light!\n
[13:54] ---
K-Kaho's first love is in primary school...\n
[13:58] ---
How could I let such a thing\nhappen to my beloved Kaho?\n
[14:09] ---
Red light!\n
[14:10] ---
I, Daikoku Nikaido, have made\nthe biggest mistake in all my 29 years!\n
[14:15] ---
Ha! Out! Kaho's brother moved!\n
[14:23] ---
Kaho, why were you dating a primary-schooler?!\n
[14:28] ---
I don't have a reason. I just came to like him.\n
[14:33] ---
And you even sm-sm-sm-smooched, too, didn't you?
[14:37] ---
But Kanade's dumped me, so...\n
[14:42] ---
Huh! Hey, dummy, why do you\nthink Kanade came here, then?\n
[14:48] ---
Huh?\n
[14:49] ---
Red light!\n
[14:51] ---
Why? Um...\n
[14:53] ---
Ha! Kaho moved, too!\n
[14:57] ---
All right! Atsushi's the only one left.\n
[15:01] ---
Green light...\n
[15:05] ---
Okay, you're cut loose.\n
[15:07] ---
Aw, rats!\n
[15:12] ---
So I win.\n
[15:15] ---
Since I'm the winner,\nI'll take this idiot girl here.\n
[15:20] ---
Not so fast! You just said you\nhad zero interest in Kaho!\n
[15:25] ---
I don't, but I'll take my prize.\n
[15:29] ---
Even if it's a consolation pack of tissues.\n
[15:31] ---
Tissues?\n
[15:33] ---
You can't!\n
[15:36] ---
Hmm? Refusing to admit you've lost?\n
[15:39] ---
Doesn't that go against what\nyour mother told you, Kanade?\n
[15:44] ---
Oh--bring up his mother, and Kanade will...\n
[15:49] ---
It does, but...\n
[15:51] ---
But...?\n
[15:54] ---
But I still can't hand\nKaho over to you, Atsushi.\n
[16:00] ---
I get it now.\n
[16:03] ---
My world without Kaho\n
[16:06] ---
was like a hell ruled by\nthe Dreadlock Lord of Darkness!\n
[16:10] ---
Ooh, Kanade, so close.\nYou don't need that "-lock" in there!\n
[16:16] ---
I want to see you, talk to you, every day.\n
[16:20] ---
I love you, Kaho!\n
[16:23] ---
Kanade!\n
[16:24] ---
Rich words coming from\nsomeone who used Kaho so!\n
[16:33] ---
Boy, are you easy.\n
[16:35] ---
Dumped. Depressed. And a single\n"I love you" gets you all moony.\n
[16:38] ---
Cheap as breadcrusts sold for a dime.\n
[16:42] ---
And yet you get so full of yourself\nwhen the ducks at the park swarm you.\n
[16:47] ---
That's why I'm itching to make you\nsee that you're nothing but breadcrumbs.\n
[16:50] ---
How rude! If Kaho were bread,\nshe'd be a top-shelf baguette!\n
[16:55] ---
No, a fried bun!\n
[16:58] ---
Either way, what, she's still bread?\n
[17:00] ---
Pardon me?! Your attitude is the very definition\n
[17:02] ---
of how one teases the girl he loves!\n
[17:05] ---
Perhaps you do care for Kaho after all!
[17:08] ---
Is it true, Atsushi?\nIs that why you came with me?\n
[17:13] ---
I see... I hadn't realized it, but maybe I do.\n
[17:20] ---
Maybe I bully her because I love her.\n
[17:23] ---
Yes, I love this stupid, simple, wishy-washy,\n
[17:26] ---
moldy breadcrumb of a girl,\nnot even fit to feed ducks.\n
[17:31] ---
That's not something\nyou say to the girl you love.\n
[17:35] ---
Taga's found a whole new game, that's all.\n
[17:40] ---
I want to hear what Kaho has to say.\n
[17:43] ---
I love you!\n
[17:44] ---
I want you to go out with me again.\n
[17:48] ---
Kaho!\n
[17:49] ---
Don't be taken in by his sweet-talking!\n
[17:51] ---
I... I can't go back to the way we were, Kanade.\n
[17:55] ---
You're not being taken in?
[17:59] ---
Daikoku... I'd like to speak with Kanade alone.\n
[18:06] ---
The thing is, I do love you, Kanade.\n
[18:12] ---
But...\n
[18:13] ---
But I'm a kid, and too selfish?\n
[18:17] ---
The way it stands now, we'll just\nkeep repeating the same old things.\n
[18:21] ---
I don't want to be hurt...\n
[18:24] ---
and I think I'll start doubting your feelings.\n
[18:28] ---
Then I'll turn into a grown-up you can trust!\n
[18:33] ---
I like you the way you are now.\nNo need to grow up in any hurry.\n
[18:39] ---
What I love is you just as you are.\n
[18:44] ---
Then what should I do?\n
[18:47] ---
Do you remember?\n
[18:50] ---
The day I met you?\n
[18:55] ---
Falling in love with you made me realize:\n
[18:59] ---
I knew I couldn't stay the same,\n
[19:02] ---
that I would have to change.\n
[19:06] ---
You don't get it at all!\n
[19:08] ---
If you like me the way I am, I like you the way you are!
[19:12] ---
Let's stay together.\n
[19:15] ---
Our combo moves will\ngive a huge boost to our power\n
[19:17] ---
and our special attacks!
[19:19] ---
What is he talking about?\n
[19:22] ---
I saw it at the school arts\nfestival in third grade:\n
[19:25] ---
the prince and princess,\nbound together for eternity.\n
[19:31] ---
So: You fell in love with me,\na primary-schooler. What now?\n
[19:36] ---
My heart's pounding so fast,\nand I love Kanade so much...\n
[19:41] ---
I don't care what anyone says.\nI want to be with him!\n
[19:47] ---
Okay, listen to this:\n
[19:50] ---
To Kaho, at 15:\n
[19:51] ---
"Love Song to Kaho."\n
[19:56] ---
What is this?\n
[19:58] ---
It's not excitement...\n
[20:00] ---
♪ Your love alone is like ♪\n
[20:02] ---
♪ 110 million times the power ♪\n
[20:05] ---
♪ No one can steal it away ♪\n
[20:08] ---
♪ Not even the ogres of hell ♪\n
[20:11] ---
♪ It's not that I got hurt ♪\n
[20:14] ---
♪ I hurt you--now ♪\n
[20:17] ---
♪ And then tumbled into hell ♪\n
[20:22] ---
♪ Kaho! Woo! ♪\n
[20:25] ---
♪ It's not subtraction, no ♪\n
[20:28] ---
♪ Me! Woo! ♪\n
[20:31] ---
♪ It's addition--no, more like ♪\n
[20:34] ---
♪ Multiplication, right? ♪\n
[20:37] ---
♪ Your warmth ♪\n
[20:40] ---
♪ Your upper arms ♪\n
[20:42] ---
♪ Your skin ♪\n
[20:44] ---
♪ Skin, fin, fif--fifteen! ♪\n
[20:48] ---
♪ Now all you have to do is nod ♪\n
[20:54] ---
♪ My ticket out of hell--get you! ♪\n
[20:59] ---
♪ So say "yeah" and get a smooch! ♪\n
[21:09] ---
Kaho, let's get married!\n
[22:57] ---
♪ C-C-C-Crab! ♪\n
[23:00] ---
♪ C-C-C-Crabbity crab! ♪\n
[23:04] ---
♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab! ♪\n
[23:07] ---
♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab crab! ♪\n
[23:11] ---
♪ Let's eat crab ♪\n
[23:18] ---
♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab! ♪\n
[23:21] ---
♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab crab! ♪\n
[23:22] ---
"Echizen Crab Board" ♪ Crab-crab-crab-crab crab! ♪
[23:25] ---
Renren here!\n
[23:26] ---
Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:29] ---
"After Kanade's proposal, Kaho returns to Kasumi House in a daze,"
[23:30] ---
"where she's shocked to find another couple preparing to walk down the aisle!"
[23:31] ---
All on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:
[23:34] ---
"A Proper Rom-Com For Once"!\n
[23:37] ---
And now for a match! Renren, chon!\n
10 - A Proper Rom-Com For Once
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] ---
C'mon, whaddya say, Crabita?\n
[00:03] ---
Stop it, Echizen Pete!\n
[00:06] ---
Argh! You're letting Crabbonio\nget inside your shell, aintcha?\n
[00:12] ---
What's inside my shell belongs to me!\n
[00:15] ---
Even if it is stuffed full of gunk.
[00:18] ---
Crabita? Crabitaaa!\n
[00:23] ---
"Mizuhama Fishery" "Echizen Crab"\nCrabita, that gunk is basically like poop, right?\n
[00:27] ---
"Mizuhama Fishery" "Echizen Crab"\nYou're so tactless, Echizen Pete!\n
[00:31] ---
We're leaving, Kanade.\n
[00:33] ---
Atsushi!\n
[00:34] ---
See? I bought you a crab.\n
[00:37] ---
Yay! Crabita! Come home with me!\n
[00:40] ---
Good for you, Kanade! Crabbity!\n
[01:02] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[02:13] ---
"A Proper Rom-Com For Once"\n
[02:20] ---
Atsushi, thanks for Crabita!\n
[02:22] ---
Sheesh. Echizen crabs are pricey.\nI'll be billing your dad later.\n
[02:28] ---
Are you mad, Takeshi?\nIs it 'cause I made you buy Crabita?\n
[02:33] ---
No, I'm not mad.\n
[02:36] ---
Just thinking... that maybe\nI shouldn't have come.\n
[02:42] ---
But I couldn't have gone\nto Kaho's house without you.\n
[02:46] ---
Why would you say that?\n
[02:48] ---
I wonder. I don't know, either.\n
[02:51] ---
You're a grown-up, and you\ndon't even understand yourself?\n
[02:55] ---
Yep.\n
[02:56] ---
Kaho, something's weird with Atsushi!\n
[02:59] ---
Huh? Oh, uh, really?\n
[03:01] ---
Kanade, your time is your life.\n
[03:04] ---
Giving stupid women your\ntime is a waste of your life.\n
[03:07] ---
Oho! Treasure your life!\n
[03:10] ---
Exactly right!\n
[03:13] ---
Those're his standard specs, all right.\n
[03:16] ---
Kanade?\n
[03:19] ---
Well, why not? He *did *come all the way to Kanazawa,
[03:23] ---
and so much happened there.\n
[03:26] ---
Boy, did it ever...\n
[03:33] ---
Let's get married!\n
[03:35] ---
M-Married?\n
[03:37] ---
I'll marry you!\n
[03:41] ---
No?\n
[03:45] ---
--N-No, it's not that--\n--Unfortunately, Kanade,\n
[03:48] ---
men have to be 18 and\nwomen 16 before they can marry.\n
[03:52] ---
Huh?! What's that about?
[03:53] ---
It's the law.\n
[03:55] ---
Ah. Then I guess that's that.\n
[03:57] ---
That was surprisingly fast!\n
[03:59] ---
Life is long. No one picks\na husband or wife in fifth grade.\n
[04:04] ---
You ought to be able to find someone better.\n
[04:08] ---
Someone better? Hmm...\n
[04:11] ---
Wait, what? Is Kanade starting\nto have second thoughts?!\n
[04:17] ---
I don't know what a\nbetter woman would be like...\n
[04:22] ---
...but I'll take Kaho.\n
[04:33] ---
Kaho, if we can't get married, let's promise to get married.
[04:37] ---
Kanade...\n
[04:39] ---
Are you actually taking this seriously,\nBreadcrumb Girl?\n
[04:43] ---
Someday, when you end up an old spinster hag,\n
[04:46] ---
will you hunt him down, all "But you promised"?\n
[04:51] ---
I'm not really serious about this!\n
[04:53] ---
Why not?! You should be! I am!
[04:56] ---
But...\n
[04:58] ---
Then... let's pinky-swear, Kaho.\n
[05:02] ---
We hereby pinky-swear...\nthat me and Kaho will get married.\n
[05:09] ---
If you lie, you'll swallow a thousand needles\n
[05:12] ---
and cut your pinky off!\n
[05:14] ---
It's a deal!\n
[05:17] ---
Uh-huh!\n
[05:24] ---
Kaho... a primary-schooler... in shorts...
[05:28] ---
D-Daikoku?\n
[05:30] ---
Shock is the usual reaction when your sister is dating a primary-schooler
[05:34] ---
and promises to marry him.\n
[05:36] ---
If it were me, I'd want to die. In fact, I would die.
[05:45] ---
Let's go home, Kaho.\n
[05:49] ---
Yeah!\n
[05:54] ---
See ya, Kaho's brother!\nNext time I'll teach you hide-and-seek!\n
[05:58] ---
K-Kanade, c'mon...\n
[06:00] ---
Let's go, already!\n
[06:04] ---
Kanade...\n
[06:07] ---
I-is he going to wake up anytime soon? If not...\n
[06:11] ---
My stomach can't take the\nstrain of being alone with Taga!\n
[06:15] ---
Oh, right.\n
[06:17] ---
Your brother backed off awfully quickly.\n
[06:21] ---
Eh? I... don't think he... backed off, quite...\n
[06:27] ---
I see.\n
[06:29] ---
Could he have been worried about me?\n
[06:32] ---
No, not Taga, of all people.\n
[06:36] ---
But...\n
[06:36] ---
"Echizen Crab"\n
[06:38] ---
--Psssssh...\n--Hey, Kanade--we're here.\n
[06:44] ---
Thanks for the ride, Atsushi.\n
[06:48] ---
Um, Taga?\n
[06:50] ---
Well, uh... thanks for everything.\n
[06:54] ---
So even a breadcrumb can say "thank you."\n
[06:58] ---
Taga... something is weird with him.
[07:01] ---
Kanade!\n
[07:03] ---
Bro! I'm home like Thunderdome!\n
[07:06] ---
I thought you went back to Osaka!\n
[07:09] ---
I may be the Naniwa Speed Coaster an' all,\n
[07:11] ---
but ridin' a flat bike all the way to Osaka?\n
[07:13] ---
Yeah, it ain't happenin'.\n
[07:15] ---
Oh, all right! Gotcha, pal!\n
[07:17] ---
Gotcha pal, potcha gal,\ngotcha pal, potcha gal...\n
[07:19] ---
--Gotcha potcha pal!\n--Ah, back to Kasumi House!\n
[07:25] ---
Not to pee on your picnic,\nbut carry this crab yourself, Kanade.\n
[07:34] ---
Eek!\n
[07:38] ---
C-Crabita!\n
[07:40] ---
Crabita! It's just a scratch!\n
[07:43] ---
--Crabita! Stay with me, Crabita!\n--Have we witnessed crab murder\n
[07:44] ---
--Crabita! Stay with me, Crabita!\n--at the hand of a garbage girl?\n
[07:47] ---
--Crabita! Don't die!\n--Taga's just Taga after all.\n
[07:48] ---
--Is that dinner? Wow, decadent!\n--Taga's just Taga after all.\n
[07:51] ---
No! Crabita's my friend!\n
[07:56] ---
I'm sorry, Kanade.\n
[07:58] ---
Kaho...\n
[07:59] ---
I didn't mean for such a\nterrible thing to happen to Crabita.\n
[08:04] ---
You, too, Crabita--I'm sorry.\n
[08:06] ---
It's... okay... peace...!\n
[08:10] ---
Crabita! Thank goodness!\n
[08:13] ---
Yeah, thank goodness!\n
[08:14] ---
Yow! Hot hot hot!\n
[08:17] ---
I'm gettin' scorched over here.\n
[08:20] ---
Yeah, our love's been tested, and now\nits flames burn at 10 billion degrees!\n
[08:26] ---
Yeah, but... y'all might\nbe separated soon enough.\n
[08:31] ---
What do you mean, Bro?\n
[08:33] ---
Truth is, Kanade...\n
[08:35] ---
...your pops is puttin' on a\nweddin' right this very moment!\n
[08:41] ---
And from what I heard...\n
[08:45] ---
I'm his mother,\neven if we're not related by blood.\n
[08:48] ---
I'll be choosing Kanade's bride.
[08:51] ---
N-No...\n
[08:53] ---
I can't let that happen!\n
[08:57] ---
Kanade... No, of course.\n
[08:59] ---
We've just made up--to be torn apart now--\n
[09:03] ---
You're married to Mom--I can't\nlet you do this, Dad!\n
[09:06] ---
Oh, so that's what he's mad about.
[09:09] ---
"Congratulations"\n"Takahashi"\n
[09:11] ---
Yodel-odel-odel-odel yodel-ay-hee-hi-ho!\n
[09:16] ---
Ahem!\n
[09:17] ---
D-Do you pledge to love him with all your heart,\n
[09:21] ---
in sickness and in health,\nas long as you both shall live?\n
[09:26] ---
I do.\n
[09:30] ---
If there be anyone present\nwith any objections to--\n
[09:33] ---
I object!\n
[09:38] ---
How could you betray Mom, Dad?!\n
[09:42] ---
How could you betray Mom, Dad?!\n
[09:44] ---
Kanade!\n
[09:46] ---
I'm sorry, Kanade.\n
[09:49] ---
Your dad went and fell\nin love with this woman here.\n
[09:52] ---
You can call me "Mama," Kanade.\n
[09:56] ---
I only have one mom, now and forever!
[10:00] ---
And a sumo wrestler like you...\n
[10:02] ---
I'm never gonna call you "Mom"!
[10:04] ---
Sumo wrestler? So that's Mafuyu in there?\n
[10:09] ---
What did you just say, Kaho Nikaido?
[10:12] ---
Someone's about to dance with hard luck, all right!
[10:17] ---
A bride who won't obey her\nmother-in-law? I'll separate you myself.\n
[10:21] ---
'Kay?\n
[10:25] ---
This here is what they call a "stepmom."\n
[10:27] ---
A step toward being a mom? Is she transforming?\n
[10:29] ---
A trans woman? Tell me more.\n
[10:32] ---
Dad, why would you... and Mafuyu...!\n
[10:35] ---
Say something, Dad!\n
[10:37] ---
He wanted me not only\nto teach you as your tutor,\n
[10:40] ---
but to protect the house, too.\n
[10:42] ---
As your mom, I'll make *sure *you're safe from the evil hands
[10:46] ---
of indecent high-school girls!\n
[10:48] ---
--Indecent?! No! I'm no such thing! --"Indecent high-school girl," eh?
[10:54] ---
If this garbage girl came out under that title,\n
[10:56] ---
would that be false advertising, Kota?\n
[10:58] ---
Wh-Wh-Wh-Why are you asking me?
[11:01] ---
You've got tons of dirty\nDVDs in your room, right?\n
[11:04] ---
I don't, I don't, I don't!\n
[11:06] ---
You're the worst!\n
[11:07] ---
Kanade?\n
[11:09] ---
Even if we're apart,\nour hearts are always together--\n
[11:13] ---
mine and yours and Mom's!\n
[11:16] ---
Why, you... you put the "big" in "bigamy"!\n
[11:19] ---
Kanade... take a closer look at your father.\n
[11:23] ---
Huh?!\n
[11:26] ---
Dad! Your eyes!\n
[11:28] ---
Don't tell me an evil organization\ngave you augmentation surgery!\n
[11:31] ---
Mafuyu, put Dad back the way he was!\n
[11:33] ---
Eek! Shugo, Kanade is scaring me!\n
[11:37] ---
It's all right--I'll protect you.\n
[11:40] ---
Hooray!\n
[11:42] ---
Grrr... Lend me your strength, Crabita!\n
[11:46] ---
All right: a blinding attack!\n
[11:48] ---
--Eek! I'm frightened!\n--Huh?\n
[11:51] ---
Gah! My eyes! My eyes!\n
[11:54] ---
Arashi!? Dang it!\nCrabita: now for a slash attack!\n
[11:57] ---
Eek! Stop it!\n
[11:59] ---
Huh?\n
[12:02] ---
--Kota's down to his boxers!\n--'Kay, now turn to the front!\n
[12:06] ---
--Yes, a nice smooth butt.\n--Hey! Quit looking!\n
[12:08] ---
--It's all right, Kota (my eyes!)--\n--Hey! Quit looking!\n
[12:10] ---
I always carry a Renren costume (my eyes!)\n
[12:12] ---
--with me just in case (my eyes!)! --What kind of tragic event is this?
[12:16] ---
I see you haven't changed, Kanade.\n
[12:18] ---
Time to give it up and be my son!\n
[12:22] ---
Rats... If only Crabita could pull\noff a megaton evolution...!\n
[12:26] ---
Come, Shugo. Back to our wedding--\n
[12:30] ---
Crabitaaa!\n
[12:35] ---
You used Arashi as a shield. I'm okay with that.\n
[12:37] ---
Chiaki?\n
[12:39] ---
But what you're doing is wrong.\n
[12:46] ---
Mr. Takahashi! Are you all right?\n
[12:48] ---
Huh? What on earth am I...\n
[12:51] ---
Well, what with one thing and another...\n
[12:53] ---
Really: what happened?\n
[12:56] ---
Ignoring your partner's wishes like\nthis won't bring anything but unhappiness.\n
[13:01] ---
That's not true! He will have feelings for me someday!
[13:05] ---
Sympathy, maybe--but not love.\n
[13:08] ---
It doesn't matter!\n
[13:09] ---
If we're together, Shugo will\ncome to love me soon enough!\n
[13:13] ---
No, I won't.\n
[13:17] ---
I'm sorry.\n
[13:18] ---
I'm not too clear on the situation here,\nbut I won't love anyone but my wife.\n
[13:23] ---
Dad, is that true?\n
[13:25] ---
Yeah.\n
[13:27] ---
Even though she's passed away\nand I can't see her anymore,\n
[13:30] ---
your mom is the only one I love.\n
[13:33] ---
I... I'm glad you two had me!\n
[13:37] ---
"Takahashi Family Nuptials"\n
[13:40] ---
What a nice story.\n
[13:42] ---
It's a sad story.
[13:45] ---
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder,\n
[13:48] ---
but when you absolutely\ncan't be together anymore,\n
[13:51] ---
where does all that overgrown love end up?\n
[13:54] ---
Those two will never see their loved one again.\n
[14:00] ---
Chiaki... don't die...\n
[14:12] ---
I won't.\n
[14:15] ---
Your mom and dad are still connected.\n
[14:20] ---
Kanade?\n
[14:23] ---
And we'll be connected, too, Kaho.\n
[14:28] ---
Uh-huh!\n
[14:34] ---
Too many couples! The air in here...!
[14:37] ---
--Uh, Shinohara's broken.\n--I can't take it!\n
[14:40] ---
--Just a virgin fit. Don't worry about it.\n--I can't take it!\n
[14:43] ---
I was well aware: Love has its obstacles.\n
[14:48] ---
Shugo, you're testing my sincerity, aren't you?\n
[14:51] ---
You are beyond clueless.
[14:55] ---
What the hell did ya just do?\n
[14:58] ---
Ya took off half my makeup!\n
[15:01] ---
Whoa! Her face came off! She's an imposter!\n
[15:03] ---
H-H-Her boobs! Do her boobs come off, too?!\n
[15:06] ---
These babies're real! Ya damn snot-nose brats!
[15:12] ---
Kaho! Are you okay?\n
[15:16] ---
Uh-huh. I'm fine, Kanade.\n
[15:19] ---
You've got cake on your face!\n
[15:25] ---
He just suddenly licks me?\nThat... doesn't happen.\n
[15:30] ---
--The air! It's turning all pink in here! --Whoa! Way to put yer back
[15:32] ---
--The air! It's turning all pink in here! --into yer punches there!
[15:33] ---
--That's what I call a wall-pound!\n--Kaho, you can have the first bath.\n
[15:35] ---
--Hit it! Hit that wall, Kota!\n--Kaho, you can have the first bath.\n
[15:36] ---
--Hit it! Hit that wall, Kota!\n--Um...\n
[15:37] ---
Well, if you say so...\n
[15:40] ---
"The Bath is Occupied"\n
[15:48] ---
Hmm? Can we eat this crab, too?\n
[15:51] ---
No! Crabita is my friend!\n
[15:53] ---
Huh! Wait, she's barely responding.\n
[15:56] ---
What's wrong, Crabita?\nHey, answer me! Smile for me again, Crabita!\n
[16:01] ---
Won't she recover if you put her in water?\n
[16:03] ---
Only if ya got a tank or somethin'\nbig enough for this colossal crab.\n
[16:07] ---
I do.\n
[16:09] ---
I'll go put Crabita in the tub.\n
[16:15] ---
Oh, Kaho.\n
[16:18] ---
You thought it was Kaho? Too bad: it's me!\n
[16:22] ---
And all of Kaho's bathwater is mine!\n
[16:25] ---
Kanade, did ya get Crabita in the tub okay?\n
[16:28] ---
Whoa, what's with the old dude? Creepy!\n
[16:31] ---
Dunno. Some old guy\nI don't know was already in there.\n
[16:34] ---
I am not an old guy you don't know! You know this old guy!
[16:37] ---
Wait--I'm not old!
[16:39] ---
--Have you forgotten so soon? Daikoku Nikai--\n--There we go, Crabita. Rest easy, now.\n
[16:42] ---
Huh? What? What are you\nplanning to snip with those claws?!\n
[16:49] ---
I wonder why my brother was in the bath?\n
[16:52] ---
And passed out naked, to boot.\n
[16:55] ---
Did he come to take me back?\n
[16:59] ---
It'll be fine. Kanade came to get me.\n
[17:02] ---
From now on, I can stay here\nat Kasumi House with Kanade.\n
[17:07] ---
Hey, Kaho--did something good happen?\n
[17:10] ---
Uh-huh. I'm happy that I can be with you.\n
[17:13] ---
Oh? Me, too.\n
[17:16] ---
So the feeling's mutual... right?\n
[17:22] ---
I'm making a raft out of milk cartons.\n
[17:24] ---
--What's... going on?\n--I came to ask you to help tomorrow.\n
[17:27] ---
--When did he come into my room?\n--...so it's gonna have to be an underwater walk.\n
[17:32] ---
Then it came to me!\n
[17:35] ---
Looking the way I do...\n
[17:40] ---
Even though I'm in my underwear...\n
[17:45] ---
Kanade's acting too normal.\n
[17:49] ---
So there you go. Good night, sleep tight!\n
[17:54] ---
What is this... this feeling?\n
[17:58] ---
He left the door open.\n
[18:12] ---
He saw me--Taga saw me!\n
[18:16] ---
Kanade saw me like this and didn't react.\n
[18:20] ---
Now Taga's gotten an eyeful, too...\n
[18:26] ---
I hate this!\n
[18:32] ---
Daikoku Nikaido, age 29, Taurus, blood type A.\n
[18:35] ---
I've watched Kaho intently from morning\n
[18:37] ---
--How did this person suddenly\n--till night, and I fully intend to continue.\n
[18:37] ---
--wind up living in my closet?\n--till night, and I fully intend to continue.\n
[18:41] ---
"Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"\n
[18:44] ---
Daikoku?\n
[18:46] ---
Oh, Kaho! Good mor-Nintendo!\n
[18:48] ---
G-Good morning, Kanade.\n
[18:51] ---
Hey, has anyone seen Crabita?\nShe's not in the tub...\n
[18:55] ---
Kanade! Look: seaweed!\nHooray, seaweed, yay! Right?\n
[18:59] ---
Yay, seaweed! Hooray!\n
[19:02] ---
Slurp!\n
[19:04] ---
Eh?\n
[19:06] ---
Crab... ita?\n
[19:19] ---
Mafuyu, you meanie! Your bellybutton sticks out!\n
[19:21] ---
Crabita's not food!\n
[19:23] ---
--Keeping a pet crab in the bathtub? --She was a friend! But you...
[19:25] ---
--Truly, children's ignorance is frightening.\n--Oh! That's right! Crabita went back to Kanazawa!\n
[19:28] ---
She sends her regards!\n
[19:30] ---
--Yeah, yeah! She's about to have her babies!\n--That's enough, you two.\n
[19:36] ---
Humans survive by receiving all kinds of lives.\n
[19:41] ---
Better to connect your lives by\neating them than to just let them die.\n
[19:44] ---
Kanade... let this be a\nlearning experience for you.\n
[19:48] ---
Shut up! If learning makes me okay\nwith what happened to Crabita,\n
[19:52] ---
I'd rather stay stupid!\n
[19:54] ---
You grown-ups... you grown-ups...\n
[19:57] ---
I hate you!\n
[20:00] ---
Kanade!\n
[20:02] ---
A man who'd cry over a crab\nbeing eaten isn't worth going after.\n
[20:06] ---
After all, he's such a child\nthat he saw me naked in the tub\n
[20:10] ---
and thought I was you.\n
[20:13] ---
Huh?\n
[20:15] ---
An easy mistake to make, with that body. Am I right?
[20:19] ---
T-T-Taga?! Y-Y-You sound like you've seen it!
[20:23] ---
P-Perhaps you suffer from\nlow blood pressure, Taga?\n
[20:26] ---
--Mornings must be rough!\n--Oh, I saw it, all right. I saw it just fine.\n
[20:31] ---
But with so little there, I could\nhardly tell if she was a woman.\n
[20:36] ---
Kanade saw, too, didn't he?\n
[20:39] ---
But he didn't react.\n
[20:42] ---
And your mind was full of\nwishy-washy nonsense again, wasn't it,\n
[20:45] ---
you stupid girl.\n
[20:50] ---
I bet Kanade doesn't\neven think of you as a woman.\n
[22:30] ---
"Afterclass Homeroom"\n
[22:31] ---
Out of the way, Crabbonio. Crabita is my girl!\n
[22:35] ---
Ha! Save the jokes for\nafter we molt. Crabita's mine!\n
[22:40] ---
Hey, don't forget about ol' Snowcrab Smith!\n
[22:43] ---
I came like a thousand miles from\nthe southwest to see my honey Crabita!\n
[22:47] ---
But you're a snow crab!
[22:50] ---
Well, I just want to mate.\n
[22:52] ---
Gross, Carl!\n
[22:54] ---
A minor detail. But more importantly...\nI'm related to the hermit crab.\n
[23:00] ---
Crabita! Who's your one true love?\n
[23:01] ---
That'd be me, o' course!\n
[23:03] ---
Won't you accept this man's pure heart?\n
[23:07] ---
Look, you keep calling me\n"Crabita," but I'm a male.\n
[23:11] ---
Huh?!\n
[23:12] ---
"Echizen crab" is a brand\nname for male snow crabs\n
[23:16] ---
caught in the Echizen region.\n
[23:17] ---
Blurp!\n
[23:20] ---
Sheesh... Hey, was that my only part? A crab?!
[23:25] ---
Renren here!\n
[23:26] ---
Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:28] ---
Oh! Don't look there! Not cool!\n
[23:32] ---
All on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:
[23:34] ---
"No Peeking! Kanade's Secret Diary"!\n
11 - No Peeking! Kanade's Secret Diary
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:08] ---
I bet Kanade doesn't\neven think of you as a woman.\n
[00:18] ---
You're gonna catch a cold.\n
[00:21] ---
Colds can turn into all kinds\nof worse things. Gotta be careful.\n
[00:26] ---
Kanade...\n
[00:27] ---
You can borrow this umbrella.\n
[00:29] ---
I borrowed it from school,\nthough, so don't lose it.\n
[00:33] ---
Okay.\n
[00:34] ---
Well, I've got some business\nto attend to, so I'm off.\n
[00:37] ---
Business?\n
[00:39] ---
Later!\n
[01:03] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"\n
[02:14] ---
"No Peeking! Kanade's Secret Diary"\n
[02:24] ---
Pretty small umbrella.\n
[02:26] ---
Well, of course: it's the\nstandard primary-schooler size.\n
[02:31] ---
That thing won't keep you dry.
[02:33] ---
Taga?\n
[02:34] ---
It'd be a real pain if you caught a cold.\n
[02:37] ---
Mind you, I couldn't care less\nif a garbage girl catches a cold,\n
[02:41] ---
but there's a chance it'll spread to me.
[02:43] ---
The very thought gives me chills.\n
[02:45] ---
I'll give that umbrella back to Kanade.\n
[02:59] ---
That Kanade... Why'd he come home\nand then go right back to school?\n
[03:03] ---
Sorry I'm late.\n
[03:05] ---
Aw, you got wet after all, didn't you.\n
[03:07] ---
Sorry 'bout that, Sadako.\n
[03:09] ---
I was going to bring you\nan umbrella, but on the way I--\n
[03:13] ---
Who's there?!\n
[03:15] ---
Atsushi!\n
[03:17] ---
Is that... Sadako?\n
[03:21] ---
You could at least introduce us.\n
[03:23] ---
You don't hide anything from me, right, Kanade?\n
[03:27] ---
I'm begging you, Atsushi--\n
[03:29] ---
don't tell Kaho about Sadako!\n
[03:33] ---
Why not?\n
[03:34] ---
They can't meet each other--not yet.\n
[03:37] ---
Besides, I want to explain this to Kaho myself.\n
[03:42] ---
Understood. This'll be our little secret.\n
[03:46] ---
Want to pinky-swear?\n
[03:48] ---
Kaz and the others know\nabout Sadako. That makes this...\n
[03:54] ---
...a promise between men!\n
[03:59] ---
You've gone and grown up, haven't you, Kanade.\n
[04:11] ---
Kanade sure was in a hurry.\n
[04:17] ---
A paper airplane?\n
[04:24] ---
"Bamboo Primary School Sports Festival"\n
[04:25] ---
An announcement for their\nsports festival? This could be important!\n
[04:32] ---
"Secret Diary"\nHuh?\n
[04:33] ---
Kanade's... diary?\n
[04:36] ---
I wonder what he's written in there?\n
[04:38] ---
His true feelings, maybe?\n
[04:42] ---
Ah!\n
[04:43] ---
Even if his true feelings are in there, reading a diary is against the rules!
[04:47] ---
I bet Kanade doesn't\neven think of you as a woman.\n
[04:53] ---
But... I want to know.\n
[04:56] ---
"Secret Diary"\nI want to know how Kanade feels.\n
[05:02] ---
"I want to be with her every day...\n
[05:04] ---
I want us to be together always.\n
[05:06] ---
Even after I come home,\nI'm worried someone else will take her.\n
[05:10] ---
I'm going to have to tell\nKaho about Sadako at some point.\n
[05:14] ---
This is my critical mission!!"\n
[05:17] ---
What... is this?\n
[05:19] ---
Who's this... Sadako?\n
[05:23] ---
That's low.\n
[05:25] ---
Reading your boyfriend's diary? Really low.\n
[05:28] ---
So it's true.\n
[05:31] ---
You are trash.
[05:44] ---
"sigh"\n
[05:47] ---
Keep on sighing like that\nand you'll chase happiness away.\n
[05:51] ---
Chiaki!\n
[05:53] ---
I think happiness might\nalready have flown the coop.\n
[05:57] ---
Don't tell me: Kanade, right?\n
[06:00] ---
Maybe primary-schoolers ought to\nbe with other primary-schoolers after all.\n
[06:05] ---
"Takahashi" "Crabita" What makes you say that at this stage of the game?
[06:07] ---
You're going to wait and\nsee how he matures, right?\n
[06:10] ---
Yeah... but Kanade might be cheating on me.\n
[06:15] ---
Kanade, cheating?\n
[06:16] ---
Uh-huh. Probably with a girl\nnamed Sadako at his school.\n
[06:21] ---
He wants to eat snacks with her... \n
[06:24] ---
it looks like he's given her the\njump-rope that his mother left him...\n
[06:29] ---
Hmm.\n
[06:29] ---
And that's not all!\n
[06:31] ---
It feels so good to hug Sadako that\nKanade never wants to stop hugging her!\n
[06:35] ---
He even wants to see her in his dreams!\n
[06:39] ---
I see...\n
[06:40] ---
In a relationship like ours,\nemotional infidelity is the hardest kind.\n
[06:47] ---
After all, our feelings\nfor each other are all we have.\n
[06:52] ---
For a supposed emotional affair,\nyou sure know a lot of details.\n
[06:59] ---
I secretly read Kanade's diary.\n
[07:02] ---
You're the worst!\n
[07:05] ---
Reading someone else's diary?\nYou suck, Kaho Nikaido.\n
[07:10] ---
Yes. I am the worst.
[07:12] ---
Hey, Mafuyu--\n
[07:15] ---
thanks for the free show.\n
[07:16] ---
Eek!\n
[07:18] ---
Those are the landlord's underpants!\n
[07:20] ---
I'd say you suck for wearing stolen underwear!
[07:24] ---
"boing boing"\nYeah, yeah, I suck.\n
[07:27] ---
But what I don't do is read diaries.
[07:30] ---
Diaries contain a person's heart.\n
[07:33] ---
You can peep into a bathroom,\nbut not into someone's heart.\n
[07:36] ---
Even if it's just for show!\n
[07:38] ---
You can strain your ears\nto hear what's going on inside,\n
[07:40] ---
stand guard while he's bathing,\n
[07:42] ---
drink his bathwater to stay healthy,\n
[07:45] ---
sniff the shoes he's just taken off,\n
[07:48] ---
swap your chopsticks\nfor his when he's not looking,\n
[07:52] ---
--take his old toothbrush out of the trash...\n--I understand--all too well!\n
[07:55] ---
When you love someone too much, you want everything of theirs!
[08:00] ---
Their chewed gum, their sneezed-in tissues...\n
[08:03] ---
Even such things as these are dear.\n
[08:05] ---
I don't know about that brother of yours.\n
[08:10] ---
That is why, Kaho, you need not\nfeel badly for merely peeking at a diary.\n
[08:16] ---
Never mind your diary--\n
[08:18] ---
I check your postal deliveries *and *your phone messages daily, without fail!
[08:23] ---
"Beep-boop!"\nDaikoku... that's my phone.\n
[08:24] ---
"Oh--a message."\nDaikoku... that's my phone.\n
[08:26] ---
Wait--you unlocked it?\n
[08:27] ---
"Reply ♥"\nWait--you unlocked it?\n
[08:28] ---
"Sending Message"\n
[08:30] ---
You're even writing back as me?\n
[08:32] ---
Daikoku...\n
[08:33] ---
Come on, Daikoku! Hey!\n
[08:38] ---
Kanade!\n
[08:40] ---
The sports festival is tomorrow?\nYou have to tell me earlier!\n
[08:44] ---
Ah! My paper airplane!\n
[08:46] ---
Now think about what you've done.\n
[08:48] ---
I've told you
[08:49] ---
--not to fold planes out of important handouts!\n--La la la! I can't hear you!\n
[08:53] ---
Well, shoot. Now what?\n
[08:55] ---
Tomorrow's my trip with\nthe neighborhood association.\n
[08:58] ---
No way! Then what about\nmy lunch for the sports festival?!\n
[09:02] ---
I'm done for... No lunch for me\nat the sports festival tomorrow...\n
[09:07] ---
Woe... woe...\n
[09:09] ---
It might be tough the day before,\nbut I'll see if I can get out of the trip.\n
[09:14] ---
I can make you a boxed lunch,\n
[09:16] ---
but you'd be eating it\nall by yourself, poor thing.\n
[09:19] ---
It's okay--go on your trip.\nThis is all my fault, anyway.\n
[09:23] ---
--Oh, um.... if it's all right with you, I--\n--I'll go.\n
[09:27] ---
Taga?!\n
[09:27] ---
"shine shine"\nAtsushi! You'd really come?\n
[09:31] ---
I wind up going every year, don't I?\n
[09:33] ---
Kota and the rest will come watch, too.\n
[09:36] ---
And on your day off, no less! Thanks.\n
[09:38] ---
Every year, I get roped into participating.\n
[09:39] ---
"gloomy"\nEvery year, I get roped into participating.\n
[09:41] ---
"cool"\nI can see that.\n
[09:43] ---
Kaho, are you coming, too?\n
[09:44] ---
Of course, Kanade!\n
[09:47] ---
Yesss!\n
[10:01] ---
Please move.\n
[10:02] ---
Boy, you've got some nerve.\n
[10:05] ---
Especially having read Kanade's diary.\n
[10:08] ---
Excuse me...\n
[10:12] ---
As for tomorrow's sports festival...\n
[10:14] ---
See you there.\n
[10:25] ---
Now, let's kick off\nBamboo Primary School's sports festival!\n
[10:34] ---
Wow... lots of cuties here!\n
[10:37] ---
Where are Kanade and his friends?\n
[10:39] ---
Is that them?\n
[10:41] ---
"Entry Gate"\n"5th Grade"\n
[10:44] ---
Well, there's no losing sight of that bunch.
[10:47] ---
Now for warm-up exercises.\n
[10:50] ---
First through sixth grades,\ngive yourselves plenty of room!\n
[10:54] ---
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...\n
[11:05] ---
Gotcha!\n
[11:09] ---
They stand out,\nall right--for better or for worse.\n
[11:14] ---
I'm gonna take some great shots today!
[11:17] ---
--Next up is the fifth-grade ball-toss.\n--The ball-toss!\n
[11:31] ---
Is that how it's supposed to go?
[11:34] ---
They really are physically head\nand shoulders above the rest!\n
[11:38] ---
Hey, you boys! Let us girls play, too!\n
[11:42] ---
Yeah, that's right!\n
[11:44] ---
Boys are used to handling balls.\n
[11:46] ---
Or is it something else?\nDo you love balls that much?\n
[11:51] ---
Gross! You guys are seriously the worst!\n
[11:55] ---
Missed me.\n
[11:56] ---
Take that! And that!\n
[11:59] ---
Come on, class--don't fight!\n
[12:05] ---
And the winner of this event is: the white team!\n
[12:10] ---
Tch!\n
[12:14] ---
Fight! Fight! Red team!\n
[12:19] ---
"Cheer Squad"\nFight! Fight! Red team!\n
[12:20] ---
"Cheer Squad"\nGo get 'em, go get 'em, rrred!\n
[12:22] ---
"Cheer Squad"\nYeah!\n
[12:23] ---
"Cheer Squad"\nGive it some o' that fightin' spirit!\n
[12:26] ---
Moving on: the fifth-grade tug-of-war.\n
[12:31] ---
Really bear down now, team!\n
[12:33] ---
Okay!\n
[12:34] ---
Don't bear down so hard\nthat you poop yourselves!\n
[12:37] ---
Poopity poopity poop!\n
[12:39] ---
Poop ourselves?! As if!\n
[12:41] ---
Let's get a little louder!\n
[12:43] ---
Heave-ho! Heave-ho!\n
[12:46] ---
Okay! Heave-ho! Heave-ho!\n
[12:50] ---
How do you tell a prostitute to get out?\n
[12:52] ---
Leave, ho! Leave, ho! Leave, ho!\n
[12:56] ---
Bear down, girls! Bear right on down!\n
[13:00] ---
For your future childbirth! Come on!\n
[13:02] ---
Shut up, Sannomiya!
[13:04] ---
Ugh, boys!\n
[13:05] ---
They totally suck!\n
[13:07] ---
Uh-huh...\n
[13:09] ---
I don't wanna...\n
[13:13] ---
Oopsie-daisy...\n
[13:16] ---
--And the winner is: the white team!\n--Ow ow ow...\n
[13:23] ---
If the red team loses, it's all the boys' fault!
[13:26] ---
Tch!\n
[13:27] ---
"Entry Gate"\n
[13:31] ---
Takahashi! Is your knee okay?\n
[13:34] ---
My knee? I just scraped it a little.\n
[13:37] ---
I-I'm doing first aid.\nWe have bandages--should I...\n
[13:41] ---
...get you one?\n
[13:43] ---
It's okay. A little spit\nand it'll heal right up.\n
[13:49] ---
So that must be Sadako...\n
[13:53] ---
A high-schooler,\njealous of a primary-school kid?\n
[13:57] ---
That's going beyond\npathetic straight to unsightly.\n
[13:59] ---
Unsightly is fine by me.\n
[14:02] ---
I rather think it's you, good sir, who's jealous of this Kanade boy.
[14:07] ---
Me, jealous?\n
[14:09] ---
Now, I can't let that go on by.
[14:10] ---
Now, now, let's calm down--\n
[14:12] ---
You shut up!\n
[14:14] ---
Why is it always only me?\n
[14:16] ---
Now it's time for the\nparent/guardian scavenger hunt.\n
[14:21] ---
Those in the parent/guardian seats,\n
[14:22] ---
--Don't tell me...\n--please gather beyond the entry gate.\n
[14:23] ---
--Who's doing the scavenger hunt?\n--please gather beyond the entry gate.\n
[14:26] ---
You, of course.\n
[14:29] ---
But I'm so slow!\n
[14:31] ---
Why do you think we brought you along. anyway?\n
[14:34] ---
I don't want to! Last year I was\nlast in the bread-eating contest,\n
[14:38] ---
and Tom and his pals teased that it should've been a lead-eating contest!
[14:41] ---
Get over there already.\nOut of all the virgins, you're my slave.\n
[14:45] ---
Oooh! So we're both slaves?!
[14:48] ---
You bet!\n
[14:49] ---
"Ooh..."\n
[14:51] ---
Let the parent/guardian scavenger race begin!\n
[14:59] ---
On your marks... get set...\n
[15:02] ---
"dash" "vrooom"\n
[15:07] ---
Down to the last card? Already?\n
[15:10] ---
And it's in a sealed envelope!\n
[15:12] ---
"Wear Women's Clothes"\n
[15:13] ---
What the--?! This isn't a\nscavenger hunt--it's a costume race!\n
[15:19] ---
Hey, lady!\n
[15:21] ---
I've got to hurry! But... women's clothes...?\n
[15:26] ---
Li'l Renren! All gyun-gyun-gyun!\n
[15:29] ---
Um... Arashi? Do you have any... women's...\n
[15:32] ---
Which do you like, Kota?\nJapanese, Western, or Chinese?\n
[15:35] ---
I-It's not lunchtime yet!\n
[15:37] ---
"Japanese"\nLi'l...\n
[15:38] ---
"Western"\n...Ren...\n
[15:39] ---
"Chinese"\n...ren!\n
[15:41] ---
Western.\n
[15:45] ---
Changing made me so late!\n
[15:56] ---
Hanako?!\n
[15:57] ---
I-I'm sorry--I'm in a hurry!\n
[16:00] ---
H-hey, Hanako...!\n
[16:02] ---
Hanako!\n
[16:04] ---
Kaz, they been lookin' for ya over thataway.\n
[16:07] ---
Okay.\n
[16:12] ---
That brings our parent/guardian\nscavenger hunt to a close.\n
[16:16] ---
We did it!\n
[16:17] ---
Nice work!\n
[16:19] ---
Another year in dead last, Kota?\n
[16:22] ---
I took some great photos\nand posted them on social media!\n
[16:26] ---
Kaho!\n
[16:28] ---
The footrace is coming up next.\n
[16:30] ---
Uh-huh! Good luck!\n
[16:32] ---
I'm gonna come in first--and when I do...\n
[16:35] ---
...we'll smooch.\n
[16:37] ---
K-K-K-Kanade! Not so loud!\n
[16:41] ---
Is that a no?\n
[16:42] ---
No, not exactly, but...\n
[16:44] ---
Well, if you say no, then I'll really want to do it.
[16:47] ---
So I'm getting that smooch either way!\n
[16:50] ---
Oh, that Kanade...\n
[17:06] ---
Now for the fifth-grade footrace.\n
[17:10] ---
On your marks... get set...\n
[17:16] ---
Kanade's so cool!\n
[17:25] ---
Goal!\n
[17:27] ---
That was so fast,\nI didn't get to take a picture!\n
[17:30] ---
Yay!\n
[17:36] ---
What's up?\n
[17:37] ---
I saw Hanako earlier.\n
[17:40] ---
Seriously?!\n
[17:41] ---
Where could she have gone?\nI hope I can see her again.\n
[17:46] ---
And with that, the students'\nmorning events are complete.\n
[17:50] ---
While the students are eating\ntheir lunches, we'll have a presentation\n
[17:54] ---
--from the local seafood association on our stage.\n--Oh, man... it's Li'l Renren, in the flesh!\n
[18:01] ---
Master Kaz, it's poor manners to leave\none's seat unnecessarily during meals.\n
[18:06] ---
I know that!\n
[18:07] ---
"Seafood Festival"\n
[18:08] ---
"Seafood Festival"\nHi, everyone! How are your lunches? Tasty?\n
[18:11] ---
So tasty!\n
[18:14] ---
It would make me sooo happy\n
[18:17] ---
if you had seafood in your lunches today!\n
[18:19] ---
Now, I'm here to show you all the Renren Dance!\n
[18:23] ---
See if you can learn it--and\ndance and sing along at home!\n
[18:28] ---
Okay, start the music!\n
[18:38] ---
♪ Gyu-gyun ga gyuun (ga gyuun!) ♪\n
[18:40] ---
♪ Gyu-gyun ga gyuun (ga gyuun!) ♪\n
[18:42] ---
♪ Do the Renren Dance with a gyun, gyun, gyun! ♪\n
[18:46] ---
Let's dig in!\n
[18:48] ---
--Seaweed, seaweed, seaweed combo!\n--I hear we've got crab croquettes today!\n
[18:52] ---
Crab cro... quette... s?\n
[18:57] ---
Eat the fried chicken.\n
[19:00] ---
Is Kanade really going to kiss me?\n
[19:05] ---
He's got to be thinking\nabout that Sadako girl, too.\n
[19:11] ---
I don't really know how Kanade feels.\n
[19:16] ---
Oh, right! I forgot.\n
[19:18] ---
Kaho!\n
[19:20] ---
Come here a sec.\n
[19:22] ---
Okay.\n
[19:23] ---
I know--if I get to talk to Kanade alone,\n
[19:27] ---
I've got to apologize for peeking at his diary!\n
[19:30] ---
And... I need to ask him\nabout Sadako once and for all.\n
[19:37] ---
Um... hey, Kanade--\n
[19:40] ---
The truth is, I... I read your diary.\n
[19:44] ---
I've wanted to apologize\nall this time. I'm so sorry!\n
[19:48] ---
You... read it?\n
[19:53] ---
So... who's Sadako?\n
[20:00] ---
You want to know?\n
[20:09] ---
Kaho...\n
[20:11] ---
Close your eyes.\n
[20:14] ---
What's going on? He's acting different.\n
[20:19] ---
He's not going to fob\nthis all off with a kiss... is he?\n
[20:24] ---
Because that's not going to fly!\n
[20:29] ---
And yet... and yet...!\n
[20:40] ---
"Aaaah!"\n
[20:41] ---
"Aaaah!"\n
[20:42] ---
"Aaaah!"\n"Aaaah!"\n
[20:45] ---
See? That's Kaho!\n
[20:47] ---
This here is Sadako.\n
[20:50] ---
That's Sadako?
[20:53] ---
You can probably tell,\nbut she's a dog with a human face.\n
[20:56] ---
Huh?\n
[20:57] ---
She's dangerous, so I was going\nto get her more used to me\n
[21:00] ---
before I introduced her to you.\n
[21:03] ---
Sadako gets all worked up when she's hungry!\n
[21:06] ---
So it turns out Sadako was a dog.\n
[21:09] ---
I got all worked up over nothing!\n
[21:13] ---
What happened? We heard this crazy scream!\n
[21:17] ---
Did you see a ghost or something?\n
[21:26] ---
Huh? What's wrong, Kanade?\n
[21:29] ---
You're all pale!\n
[21:31] ---
Don't touch me!\n
[21:36] ---
Wh-What's going on?\n
[21:39] ---
I just...\n
[21:43] ---
I can't be...\n
[21:45] ---
...with you anymore...\n
[21:48] ---
What do you mean?\n
[22:03] ---
*We'll keep on growing straight and tall *
[22:11] ---
*Just like the green bamboo *
[22:19] ---
*Come, friend *
[22:23] ---
*Take up this planet's future *
[22:27] ---
*Burning with hope *
[22:31] ---
*Burning with hope *
[22:35] ---
*Send it onward and upward! *
[22:42] ---
*Bamboo Primary, Bamboo Primary *
[22:46] ---
*Bamboo Primary, Bamboo Primary *
[22:51] ---
*Bamboo Primary, where you are *
[22:55] ---
*Our dear school *
[22:58] ---
*Bamboo Primary, Bamboo Primary *
[23:02] ---
*Bamboo Primary, Bamboo Primary *
[23:07] ---
*Bamboo Primary, where you are *
[23:11] ---
*Our dear school *
[23:25] ---
Renren here!\n
[23:27] ---
Coming up on FIRST LOVE MONSTER...
[23:29] ---
"First love, friendship,\nyouth...The lovely, shy high-school girl Kaho"\n
[23:30] ---
"and the breezy, earnest primary-school\nboy Kanade run into one another again and again,"\n
[23:32] ---
"spinning out miracle after miracle." All on the next FIRST LOVE MONSTER:
[23:34] ---
"Adorable/Abnormable"!\n
[23:36] ---
And now for a match! Renren, chon!\n
12 - Adorable/Abnormable
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:12] ---
If you're not eating this, I'll take it.\n
[00:14] ---
Huh? Geez! But I love it--\nI was saving it for last!\n
[00:21] ---
Ah...\n
[00:22] ---
Hmm? What is it?\n
[00:23] ---
Say that again, would you?\n
[00:25] ---
Say what again?\n
[00:26] ---
Why hadn't you eaten your seaweed yet?\n
[00:28] ---
Huh?\n
[00:30] ---
Because I love it?\n
[00:31] ---
Mmm.\n
[00:34] ---
Okay: got it.\n
[00:35] ---
I've memorized the way you looked\nand sounded when you said "love" to me.\n
[00:40] ---
L-Look, it's the seaweed I love, okay?
[00:43] ---
Oh, I know.\n
[00:45] ---
Still... a guy can dream, can't he?\n
[00:49] ---
C'mon, let's go. We're gonna be late.\n
[00:51] ---
I do like seaweed, but what I like even more...
[00:56] ---
Bleah!\n
[00:58] ---
Dumb ol' Kanade...\n
[01:23] ---
"FIRST LOVE MONSTER"
[02:35] ---
"Adorable/Abnormable"
[02:42] ---
This rain sure came out of nowhere.\n
[02:47] ---
Yeah...\n
[02:50] ---
Our shoulders are so close...\n
[02:54] ---
Kaho!\n
[03:04] ---
Your skin's like marshmallows...\nI could eat it up.\n
[03:10] ---
Ow!\n
[03:11] ---
I think I twisted my ankle.\n
[03:17] ---
Kaho... hang on tight.\n
[03:19] ---
Huh?\n
[03:27] ---
Kanade's heartbeat,\nhis hot breath--they surround me.\n
[03:33] ---
What now? I want to stay like this forever!\n
[03:43] ---
That ought to do the trick.\n
[03:46] ---
Th-Thanks, Kanade.\nYou're good at this first-aid thing.\n
[03:51] ---
I'm aiming for Tokyo University,\nso I'm studying all kinds of stuff.\n
[03:59] ---
A rainbow! Look, Kanade--a rainbow!\n
[04:03] ---
You know what? They say there's\ntreasure buried at the end of the rainbow.\n
[04:07] ---
Ever since the day we met,\nthere's been a rainbow in my heart, too.\n
[04:14] ---
And my... my treasure...\n
[04:18] ---
It's you, Kaho.\n
[04:20] ---
Kanade...\n
[04:23] ---
We don't want your sprain to get worse.\nRest here in the infirmary, okay?\n
[04:27] ---
I'll get my teacher's permission\nto leave early and come get you.\n
[04:30] ---
We'll go home together.\n
[04:31] ---
Huh? You're coming, too?\n
[04:34] ---
Gotta have a hero to\nkeep the treasure safe, right?\n
[04:42] ---
Never know when a bad guy's\ngonna come by to steal it!\n
[04:50] ---
Would you look at that!\nA bad guy--here, of all places.\n
[04:57] ---
That's no way to talk to your teacher, Kanade.\n
[05:01] ---
Wait.\n
[05:26] ---
I won't give you Kaho.\n
[05:27] ---
Fine by me. I'll just have to take her.\n
[05:32] ---
Is Kanade going to be okay?\n
[05:35] ---
I mean, a skate-off against Mr. Taga...\n
[05:37] ---
What gives, Kaz?\nDon't you have any faith in Kanade?\n
[05:41] ---
It's not that...\n
[05:43] ---
Mr. Taga's the legendary roller-skater\nwho once took the world by storm:\n
[05:49] ---
Rollin' Atu-see!\n
[05:51] ---
"Performing Worldwide - All Other Entertainers Grovel Before Him! - Rollin' Atu-See"
[05:54] ---
Atu-see!\n
[05:58] ---
Ya mean... Taga's that Rollin' Atu-see guy?!\n
[06:02] ---
"Rollin' Atu-See"
[06:03] ---
"Rollin' Atu-See" Atu-see!
[06:06] ---
Also known as "Mr. Rolling Eternity"!
[06:08] ---
"Mr. Rolling Eternity"
[06:09] ---
"Mr. Rolling Eternity" Eternity!
[06:11] ---
The same one feared as the "Pandora's Box on Wheels"?
[06:15] ---
"Pandora's Box on Wheels"
[06:15] ---
"Pandora's Box on Wheels" On wheels!
[06:17] ---
It's started!\n
[06:42] ---
Canelé pastries came out of Taga's armpits!
[06:50] ---
And soft mochi rice cakes came out of Kanade's!\n
[06:53] ---
Look!\n
[06:54] ---
Kanade's mochi cakes are engulfing Mr. Taga's canelé!
[07:04] ---
White canelé? This is revolutionary!
[07:07] ---
Th-This warmth, brimming with kindness...\n
[07:15] ---
There's soft mochi inside the canelé, too?!
[07:18] ---
Canelé with a soft mochi center?
[07:20] ---
Can this mean... Kanade was\nalready inside Taga's soul?!\n
[07:24] ---
Ridiculous!\n
[07:26] ---
Chewy, crispy, chewy...\n
[07:28] ---
Kanade's heat is radiating through Taga's canelé both inside and out!
[07:32] ---
It's gettin' hot in here, all right!\n
[07:56] ---
The earth gone white...\n
[07:58] ---
You were sketching out love\nacross this big campus of ours.\n
[08:02] ---
You win, Kanade.\n
[08:04] ---
"Taga"\n
[08:07] ---
Kaho? I got that early-dismissal form stamped.\n
[08:16] ---
You may still be sleeping now...\n
[08:18] ---
...but if you ever start to love me\nso much you can't live without me,\n
[08:24] ---
be sure you wake up, Kaho.\n
[08:35] ---
I've been like that for\na long time now, Kanade...\n
[08:49] ---
You're awfully glum today, Kaho.\n
[08:51] ---
Did something happen with Kanade?\n
[08:54] ---
N-Not really!\n
[08:55] ---
In the setting sun / Soft cheeks flushing\nhotly pink / Here, then: here is love.\n
[08:59] ---
Ooh, Kota, a haiku!\n
[09:01] ---
Keeping the spirit of popular poet\nMatsuo Basho alive, I see!\n
[09:05] ---
Kaho stimulates my haiku-heart.\n
[09:08] ---
That expression of hers was sublime!\n
[09:12] ---
A rather fine poem, too, if I do say so myself.\n
[09:15] ---
Mayhap I'll submit it to the\nhaiku column in am-am Magazine.\n
[09:19] ---
You can't! It's too embarrassing!\n
[09:21] ---
I won't--if you speak of the worry hidden in your heart.
[09:27] ---
Kanade's... too dazzling.\n
[09:31] ---
Sorry! You just had the\nmost amazing look on your face.\n
[09:35] ---
Hey, Kaho--I've got an exhibition\ncoming up in New York. Model for me?\n
[09:40] ---
I haven't taken my showpiece photo yet.\n
[09:43] ---
In the setting sun / Tinting the tears\nthat now fall / Here, then: here is love.\n
[09:47] ---
Arashi, take a look at Chiaki, would you?\n
[09:50] ---
Arashi, a-are you going\nto make Kaho your m-model?\n
[09:55] ---
I don't want you to! Let me be the only one in your viewfinder!
[10:01] ---
You've finally told me\nhow you really feel, Chiaki.\n
[10:05] ---
Come on--my lens is always\nfocused on you and you alone!\n
[10:10] ---
Arashi!\n
[10:11] ---
How wonderful! I want to be like them.\n
[10:17] ---
Dear, dear--and me the\nonly one unattached. How lonely.\n
[10:21] ---
Huh?\n
[10:22] ---
But you're so popular with the girls, Kota!\n
[10:25] ---
Seems romance doesn't\nquite fit that 5-7-5 pattern.\n
[10:29] ---
It's a struggle, I tell you. I'll be\npartnered with poetry for a while yet...\n
[10:50] ---
Hey.\n
[10:50] ---
--Kanade? Um, I--\n--Shh. My manager's looking for me.\n
[10:54] ---
Kanade? Hey, Kanade!\n
[10:58] ---
Your... manager?\n
[11:00] ---
I'm sorry, Kaho. I've kept it\nfrom you all this time, but I...\n
[11:04] ---
I'm an idol.\n
[11:05] ---
My dad runs a talent agency.\n
[11:08] ---
He first let me on the lot when\nhe needed someone to play Passerby A,\n
[11:12] ---
but after that...\n
[11:17] ---
An idol?\n
[11:19] ---
Girls squeeing at events,\nsqueeing at meet-and-greets,\n
[11:23] ---
squeeing at magazine interviews,\n
[11:25] ---
squeeing when he says "p-o-o-p"?\n
[11:28] ---
That kind of idol, right?
[11:30] ---
My... my heart hurts, somehow.\n
[11:33] ---
Here I thought he was mine alone.\n
[11:38] ---
So, listen...\n
[11:39] ---
Oh, uh-huh? What's up?\n
[11:40] ---
There's this preview event for the\npremiere of this drama I'm starring in,\n
[11:44] ---
and I'll be reenacting key scenes as part of it.\n
[11:48] ---
I'll have to do a kiss scene.\n
[11:51] ---
How does your drama's kiss scene go?\n
[11:55] ---
Like this.\n
[12:00] ---
No, Kanade--don't kiss me there!\n
[12:02] ---
Where would you prefer?\n
[12:04] ---
It's not fair! You're always\nwinding me up like this...\n
[12:08] ---
I mean, in the infirmary today--\n
[12:10] ---
So... you heard my confession?\n
[12:17] ---
So my secret's out.\nNow I don't know which way to turn.\n
[12:21] ---
I'm so lame.\n
[12:23] ---
No, you're not! You're cool, Kanade!\n
[12:29] ---
Wow, Kanade, your ears are bright red!\n
[12:31] ---
Because what you're saying\nmakes me want to jump for joy!\n
[12:37] ---
Honestly, I've wanted\nto say this for a while now:\n
[12:41] ---
Kaho, be my girlfriend.\n
[12:46] ---
I will!\n
[12:49] ---
You shine so brightly,\nand your words hold such happiness...\n
[12:54] ---
I smiled, looking like I was about to cry.\n
[12:58] ---
This love: it's adorable.\n
[13:03] ---
--Miss Nikaido? Miss Nikaido!\n--Hey!\n
[13:04] ---
--Kaho-yan! Kaho-yan? --Huh? Am I...
[13:06] ---
--Hey! You okay?\n--Huh? Am I...\n
[13:08] ---
--Kaho?\n--Come on back!\n
[13:11] ---
What the heck, Kanade? Fightin' with Kaho-yan again?
[13:15] ---
Fighting? That's right! I--\n
[13:19] ---
Don't touch me!\n
[13:21] ---
I just...\n
[13:24] ---
I can't be...\n
[13:26] ---
...with you anymore...\n
[13:29] ---
So that was a dream? A daydream?\n
[13:33] ---
Bye, Kaho.\n
[13:35] ---
W-Wait, Kanade!\n
[13:37] ---
Don't get too close!\n
[13:38] ---
I've changed.\n
[13:40] ---
So I must go on a journey.\n
[13:42] ---
I might even marry Sadako someday.\n
[13:48] ---
Sadako's a dog. Can you even marry a dog?\n
[13:52] ---
Kanade--it can't be!\n
[13:54] ---
Sadako bit me.\n
[13:57] ---
Are you serious, Kanade?!\n
[13:58] ---
This ain't good... no, sirree!\n
[14:00] ---
Wh-What's going on?\n
[14:02] ---
Sadako's a human-faced dog!\n
[14:05] ---
Eh?\n
[14:06] ---
If you're bitten by a\nhuman-faced dog, you turn into one.\n
[14:10] ---
I got a friend in Shiga whose relative's\ncousin's uncle's coworker's son got bit,\n
[14:16] ---
and he turned into a human-faced dog!
[14:18] ---
Wait, what? What is this?
[14:24] ---
I'll be a dog soon!\n
[14:29] ---
Kanade! No, Kanade!\n
[14:33] ---
Huh? Whaaat?!\n
[14:34] ---
They totally believe it!\n
[14:37] ---
Listen up, Kanade:\n
[14:39] ---
This is not a human-faced dog. It's just a regular ugly dog.
[14:45] ---
S-Say what?!
[14:48] ---
Once I found out you were\nsecretly looking after this ugly dog,\n
[14:52] ---
I took this ugly dog to the vet\n
[14:55] ---
and got this ugly dog its shots.\n
[14:59] ---
So... so Kanade...\n
[15:01] ---
Right: he won't turn into a\nhuman-faced dog. He'll stay human.\n
[15:05] ---
Kanade!\n
[15:08] ---
Kanade!\n
[15:09] ---
Thank goodness!\n
[15:10] ---
Hooray for Kanade!\n
[15:11] ---
This is wonderful!\n
[15:12] ---
It's better this way!\n
[15:13] ---
What the hell?\n
[15:14] ---
Huh? Kaho?\n
[15:18] ---
You can totally tell just by looking!\n
[15:20] ---
All this fuss 'cause you fell for an\nurban legend hook, line, and sinker! Geez!\n
[15:25] ---
How obnoxious can you get?!\n
[15:28] ---
You're always like that, Kanade!
[15:30] ---
Kaho?\n
[15:31] ---
You're always, always, always, always saying the weirdest things!
[15:34] ---
Since we met, you've set up I don't even know how many gags!
[15:37] ---
The biggest thing about you is that body!\n
[15:39] ---
I keep telling myself it's a growth spurt, but is it? Is it really?
[15:44] ---
Nope! I don't care if you suddenly grow bigger--\n
[15:46] ---
but you can't just explain\nit away as a growth spurt!\n
[15:49] ---
It's too darn sloppy!\n
[15:51] ---
Here I thought your backpack was a custom order,\n
[15:53] ---
but no, it's ready-made and just jammed onto your back!
[15:56] ---
You wear that gym outfit every single day--
[15:59] ---
how many gym outfits do you have?!
[16:01] ---
And those bangs!
[16:03] ---
They're always in that M shape--\n
[16:06] ---
doesn't anyone tell you to cut\nthem when they grow into your eyes?\n
[16:08] ---
For as much as you act the\ngrade-schooler when it's convenient,\n
[16:11] ---
why must you do the hunk thing when it comes to your bangs?!
[16:15] ---
Forget the "p°°p" and "w°°ner" schtick and cut your bangs!
[16:18] ---
That's how you end up missing\nthe truth you've got to see!\n
[16:21] ---
Our first date was a stroll\naround the neighborhood!\n
[16:24] ---
You pushed me down onto my bed,\nbut then gave me a massage--\n
[16:27] ---
and a good one, too!
[16:28] ---
You're all "Pp! Wner! Pp! Wner!"\n
[16:31] ---
Just when I was glad not to be traded for a Pachimon card,
[16:33] ---
you suggest we all date together!\n
[16:35] ---
And all the "pp" and "wner" talk!\n
[16:38] ---
You used a hula-hoop to decide if we should break up?
[16:41] ---
Pp!\n
[16:41] ---
You proposed to me on a harmonica?!
[16:43] ---
Wner!\n
[16:43] ---
Pp and wner, you saw me in my underwear\n
[16:46] ---
with no ppin' reaction!\n
[16:47] ---
Pp! Wner! Pp! Wner! Pp! Wner!\n
[16:51] ---
What's so funny about pp and wners, anyway?!\n
[16:56] ---
Pp! Wner! Pp! Wner! Pp! Wner!\n
[17:10] ---
You're a riot, Kaho! That was a ton of poop and w°°ners!
[17:16] ---
I'm sorry, Kanade...\n
[17:20] ---
Huh?\n
[17:22] ---
For all those crazy complaints\nto come spilling out...\n
[17:24] ---
That shouldn't come from the likes of--\n
[17:26] ---
No saying "the likes of me." Remember?\n
[17:39] ---
Kanade...\n
[17:42] ---
But hey, ending your sentences\nwith "poop" and "wner" is super fun!\n
[17:46] ---
Leave it to you, Kaho! What a find!\n
[17:51] ---
That girlfriend of his is a real piece of work.\n
[17:53] ---
Is that what grown-up women do for dirty jokes?\n
[17:56] ---
That's the girl I fell for once upon a time:\n
[17:58] ---
Kaho-yan! No, Kaho-chin! No, Kaho-p°°-p°°!
[18:03] ---
--Kaho-p-p!\n--Kaho-p**-p**!\n
[18:06] ---
Kaho-p**-p**!\n
[18:08] ---
--Kaho-p**-p**! Kaho-p**-p**!\n--Hey there, gang!\n
[18:13] ---
The afternoon events are about to begin.\n
[18:15] ---
Kanade...\n
[18:17] ---
Relax and enjoy your sports festival, now.\n
[18:21] ---
I will! Thanks, Atsushi!\n
[18:55] ---
"White Team | Red Team"\n
[19:16] ---
The meat's ready, folks!\n
[19:19] ---
Okay!\n
[19:22] ---
I'll take some meat, wner!\n
[19:24] ---
Me, too, wner!\n
[19:25] ---
Looks good, wner!\n
[19:28] ---
It's crazy tasty, wner!\n
[19:30] ---
What's that? What are you all saying?\n
[19:33] ---
Wner!\n
[19:34] ---
It's a game they picked up from Kaho.\n
[19:36] ---
What?! I didn't see that coming...
[19:39] ---
Sniff... sniff...\n
[19:41] ---
The smell of your lower half\nis a feast unto itself, Shugo.\n
[19:45] ---
Mafuyu! Please stop--that kind of thing\n
[19:48] ---
--could get you in trouble!\n--C'mon, Sadako, st up and bg.\n
[19:52] ---
I understand that dog is\ncoming to stay at Kasumi House.\n
[19:55] ---
Uh-huh. Taga worked\nthings out with Mr. Takahashi.\n
[20:00] ---
From this distance,\nKanade looks like the ideal boyfriend.\n
[20:06] ---
He does, doesn't he?\n
[20:08] ---
But I don't just want to look at him from afar.\n
[20:13] ---
I don't want Kanade to be just this hot guy.\n
[20:18] ---
I see. Well, that's fine.\n
[20:21] ---
Oops, I'm out of meat.\nLet's get seconds, Arashi.\n
[20:25] ---
Sure thing, Chiaki.\n
[20:30] ---
Hey, Kaho...\n
[20:32] ---
Kanade, that's great news about Sadako, huh?\n
[20:38] ---
When I saw Sadako abandoned like that,\nI thought she looked just like you.\n
[20:44] ---
It was like you were abandoned... and I just couldn't leave her like that.
[20:54] ---
A-Are we really that alike?\n
[20:57] ---
Yeah!\n
[21:00] ---
Sadako...\n
[21:02] ---
Kaho...\n
[21:03] ---
Let's stay together forever!\n
[21:07] ---
He's so cool, I feel this tightness in my chest.\n
[21:10] ---
He makes so little sense\nsometimes, I'm just shocked.\n
[21:13] ---
But that's Kanade.\n
[21:17] ---
Thank you for meeting me, Kanade.\n
[21:20] ---
Thank you for making me your girlfriend, Kanade!\n
[21:24] ---
Kaho, Kaho!\n
[21:27] ---
This is for you.\n
[21:32] ---
Thank you, Kanade!\n
[21:35] ---
The monster called\n"first love" is still coming after me.\n
[21:39] ---
But I think I can take any attack it dishes out.\n
[21:43] ---
After all, I love Kanade\njust the way he is--right now!\n
[21:52] ---
Eh?\n
[21:54] ---
Huh? Sadako's got a wner!\n
[21:56] ---
Yep, that's a wner, all right.\n
[21:58] ---
No mistakin' that wner.\n
[22:00] ---
So she's a boy?\n
[22:01] ---
Yup. The "ko" in "Sadako" is for "coj*nes."\n
[22:07] ---
So she's ugly and a boy?!
[22:15] ---
"Afterschool Homeroom"\n
[22:18] ---
This is our final meeting, so I'd like\nto take this opportunity to say something.\n
[22:23] ---
I think of Kanade a trillion times more\nthan that crappy dumb idiot girl does.\n
[22:29] ---
When it comes to caring about\nKanade, I simply can't be beat.\n
[22:32] ---
Ya can't get away with sayin' that around me!\n
[22:35] ---
With all due respect,\n
[22:36] ---
I'm certain that I was more seriously\nworried for Kanade than you were\n
[22:39] ---
during the human-faced-dog incident, Taga.\n
[22:41] ---
--Ah! It tickles when you lick me there!\n--Caught up in your grown-up common sense,\n
[22:45] ---
you'd made up your mind at the start\nthat Sadako wasn't a human-faced dog.\n
[22:49] ---
But I considered the possibility that he was,
[22:52] ---
and if Kanade became one himself,\n
[22:54] ---
I was prepared to, too--right along with him!\n
[22:56] ---
Oh! Th-that's my gyun spot! Don't...
[22:59] ---
Well, I thought of that, too!
[23:01] ---
I'd decided to dedicate the rest of my life
[23:03] ---
to developing a drug that would turn him back!\n
[23:06] ---
Y'all are thinkin' too hard!\n
[23:08] ---
Human-faced dog or no, Kanade's still Kanade!\n
[23:11] ---
I could spend my whole life with dog-Kanade!\n
[23:14] ---
He'd be my dog, and we'd\nlive together happily ever after!\n
[23:17] ---
Kanade could never be happy\nliving with the likes of you.\n
[23:21] ---
I'm sure he'd choose to live as my dog.
[23:24] ---
Ack! Not so hard! Not so... much!
[23:27] ---
No, Kanade is my dog!
[23:29] ---
--He could be a family dog with me! A big-family dog! --My dog.
[23:31] ---
He'd be happier as my dog!
[23:33] ---
My dog! No, mine! He wants to be mine!