8 - An Equestrian Fit for a Cat Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:43] Voice     The Takamagahara Commemorative SIGN    Takamagahara Commemorative          Maid Café Eto               Manager's Cup [00:46] Voice     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup! [01:08] [SONG] Title     ETOTAMA SIGN    Episode 8 An Equestrian Fit for a Cat [02:40] Uma     Everyone! [02:41] Uma     The Takamagahara Commemorative [02:44] Uma     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup     begins this afternoon! SIGN    Takamagahara Commemorative Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup [02:46] Uma     Be sure you're ready! [02:48] Shima     Oh, the Manager's Cup?     It's that time already? [02:52] Uma     Please don't shorten it to "Manager's Cup"! [02:55] Uma     It's the Takamagahara Commemorative     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup. [02:58] Uma     The Takamagahara Commemorative     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup! [03:02] Dora     You sound awfully haughty. [03:04] Uma     Of course I do! [03:06] Uma     We must make this year's     Takamagahara Commemorative [03:09] Uma     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup exciting! [03:12] Takeru     U-Um... [03:14] Takeru     Sorry. What is this "Manager's Cup"? [03:18] Uma     I knew it! [03:22] Takeru     Huh? Wh-What's wrong? [03:25] Uma     It's all right, Takeru-san. [03:27] Uma     This is my own fault. SIGN    Takamagahara Commemorative Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup [03:30] Uma     The Takamagahara Commemorative     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup [03:33] Uma     is a historical ritual in the Eto realm, [03:35] Uma     and I'm the Eto-shin in charge     of this very important event. SIGN    stick [03:39] Uma     Yet... SIGN    Takamagahara Commemorative Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup God Viewership Ratings [03:40] Uma     As you can see, the viewers     among the gods have plummeted. [03:44] Uma     The previous Takamagahara     Commemorative Maid Café Eto [03:48] Uma     Manager's Cup only earned a rating of 1.8%. [03:50] Uma     If it drops below 1%, it will be canceled! [03:54] Takeru     God viewership rating? [03:56] Uri     It's what it sounds like:     the number of gods who watch it. [03:59] Uri     All divine rituals are     overseen by the many gods. [04:02] Uri     The more important or noteworthy the ritual, [04:05] Uri     the higher the god ratings. [04:08] Takeru     Oh... [04:09] Shar     You are included in the god     viewership rating, as well. [04:11] Takeru     Huh? [04:12] Shar     You watch the ETM12 on the     Sol/Lull TV, do you not? [04:16] Shar     That registers as god viewership. [04:20] Takeru     Really? I'm not a god, though... [04:22] Mei     You're a unique situation, Takeru-san. [04:25] Shima     Yeah. Normally the Sol/Lull TV is [04:27] Shima     only summoned in front of gods. [04:29] Shima     So if there's a boring ritual     or dull program on, [04:32] Shima     the gods turn the Sol/Lull TV off. [04:35] Uma     The process isn't that simple! SIGN    Takamagahara Commemorative Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup [04:38] Uma     Now, instead of watching in     real time, many gods record it, [04:41] Uma     or watch via methods that [04:43] Uma     aren't reflected in the ratings... [04:45] Uri     Incidentally, I prefer to record things     and watch them at my leisure. [04:49] InuKey     Ditto! [04:50] Uma     And that's why our god     ratings are dropping! [04:53] Key     Shows just keep piling up before     I can watch them, though. [04:56] Inu     Yeah, and then I can't be bothered     to watch and just delete them. [04:59] Usa     Oh, if you buy the Blu-rays,     that won't happen. [05:02] Key     I'm not buying those.     I don't have the money. [05:05] Inu     And I don't have anywhere to put them. [05:06] Usa     People like you are the reason     there's so much insecurity in this industry! [05:10] Usa     Buy the discs! [05:11] Usa     Show proper gratitude to     the staff who sweat blood [05:14] Usa     and wipe their tears with more     tears producing these things! [05:17] Usa     Don't just watch with a dumb look on     your face! If you watch it, buy it! [05:20] Usa     Money needs to be put into     circulation in this world! [05:22] InuKey     U-Uh... Right... [05:25] Usa     I'm saying— [05:27] Uma     Save that discussion for next time. [05:30] Uma     I'm talking about something much     more important right now. [05:34] Takeru     Wow. She doesn't just freak out, [05:37] Takeru     but actually takes charge     when she needs to. [05:40] Uri     Of all the Chinese zodiac, [05:42] Uri     Uma-tan is among the one     or two most serious. [05:45] Uri     In other words, she's the type     that's a pain to deal with. [05:48] Takeru     You didn't have to add that last part... [05:50] Uma     I'm a pain to deal with?! [05:52] Uri     See? [05:53] Takeru     Don't say that! [05:55] Takeru     It's because you said     something so venomous! [05:57] Takeru     Er, I wasn't talking about you, Shar-tan. [06:00] Mei     Ah, that's my Takeru-san! [06:03] Mei     What a thoughtful follow-up!     You're so wonderful! [06:05] Takeru     Uh, it's nothing to swoon about... [06:08] Takeru     Come on, stop crying! [06:10] Takeru     Jeez, comebacks are a full-time job when [06:12] Takeru     the entire cast is here for once... [06:15] Uma     A-Anyway, the average god     rating for this year's [06:18] Uma     Takamagahara Commemorative     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup [06:19] Uma     will determine the fate of the [06:23] Uma     Takamagahara Commemorative Maid     Café Eto Manager's Cup! [06:27] Uma     If it does end up being canceled... [06:29] Uma     As it is, people say the zodiac animals from     "horse" onward have an unpleasant sound... [06:34] Uma     but I'll be unable to do     my job as an Eto-shin, SIGN    Takamagahara Commemorative Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup [06:36] Uma     and there'll be no meaning to my existence! [06:40] Nya     No meaning? You're exaggerating! [06:43] Nya     If you want god ratings, just strip! [06:45] Mo     Take it off! [06:47] Mo     I wanna see Nya-tan fully nude! Come on! [06:52] Mo     I'll take 'em off for you! [06:55] Mo     I got a treasure! [06:57] Nya     Not happening! [06:58] Mo     Ouch! [06:59] Mo     But that was pretty nice, too... [07:02] Nya     Get lost, pervert! [07:05] Uma     A vulgar idea such as nudity     is out of the question. [07:09] Uma     We must make this a thrilling race that [07:11] Uma     will resonate directly     in the god ratings. [07:14] Uma     I can't say this too loud, [07:16] Uma     but this is a raging battle     against the gods! [07:20] Uma     Now, everyone, until the start     of the race, let us discuss— [07:25] Uma     E-Everyone? [07:27] Inu     I just can't get fired up about this. [07:29] Key     It's kinda tiring. [07:31] Nya     Instead of humiliating yourself fighting     for it, you should just call it off. [07:34] Piyo     You're not even one of the zodiac,     stupid cat! This isn't your business! [07:38] Piyo     Stay out of it! [07:39] Nya     Huh? But even if you bust your butt to win, [07:42] Nya     there's no prize or anything. [07:44] Uma     Of course there isn't. [07:46] Uma     There's meaning in seeing the     race through to the end! [07:50] Nya     What a boring race! [07:52] Uma     It's not an issue of whether     it's boring or not! [07:56] Manager     Enough insolent talk! [08:02] Uma     Manager! [08:04] Manager     However, the cat does have a point. [08:06] Manager     If they are unmotivated,     we just need to motivate them! [08:10] Manager     For this year's Takamagahara Commemorative [08:12] Manager     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup, [08:16] Manager     I will... [08:19] Manager     grant... [08:22] Manager     the winner's wish! [08:25] Key     For real?! [08:25] Inu     What brought that reward on?! [08:27] Takeru     Grant their wish? You're     talking like you're a god... [08:31] Manager     If you doubt me, I will show you [08:34] Manager     my true form! [08:46] Manager     I am the manager. [08:49] Takeru     Wh-What is this? [08:51] Nya     Meow! That's the coffee cup     I broke and then hid! [08:57] Nya     It's fixed! [08:59] Manager     May there be light for all. [09:03] Nya     Meow, meow! That's the dying     bird I've been caring for! [09:07] Manager     Live alongside me, little one. [09:13] Nya     It's fixed! [09:15] Nya     Meow! That's yesterday's leftover     meat and potato stew! [09:18] Manager     Become delicious. [09:23] Shar     It's been remade into curry. [09:26] All     Super tasty! [09:31] Shar     Impressive as always, Manager. [09:33] Takeru     She's right. You really are     amazing, Mr. Manager. [09:36] Manager     Well, I did create Japan, after all. [09:39] Nya     Anyway, now I know you     can perform any miracle, [09:43] Nya     from bringing back the dead to     reusing meat and potato stew! [09:45] Key     That means... [09:46] Mo     Granting our wishes will be easy! [09:50] Piyo     Wishes... [09:51] Usa     Wishes... [09:53] Mei     Wishes, huh? [09:56] Piyo     One... [09:58] Piyo     Two... [10:03] Piyo     Three. [10:06] Piyo     I... I remember... [10:08] Piyo     Even after taking three steps, [10:10] Piyo     I still remember! [10:17] Takeru     Mei-tan. [10:20] Mei     T-Takeru-san... SIGN    Beautiful Nya-tan [10:29] Nya     Master... [10:31] Nya     Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle... [10:36] Uri     Sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame... [10:38] Uri     Sesame oil! Yep, yep! [10:41] Nya     Meow! Meow! Meow! [10:43] Mo     Nya-tan, Nya-tan, Nya-tan, Nya-tan, Nya-tan... [10:45] Mo     Nya-tan in bed! [10:58] [SONG] Text     Aged Bone [10:59] Key     Yum! [11:00] Inu     This rocks! [11:05] Takeru     I bet all kinds of crazy wishes are [11:07] Takeru     dancing about in their heads right now. [11:10] Uma     I don't need any reward! [11:12] Uma     As long as the Takamagahara Commemorative [11:15] Uma     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup is successful! [11:20] Manager     Now, everyone, [11:22] Manager     strive for victory in the Manager's     Cup with all your body and soul! [11:25] All     Right! [11:27] Voice     To all the many gods and goddesses: [11:29] Voice     the wait is over! [11:32] Voice     It's the Takamagahara Commemorative     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup! [11:35] Voice     Commentating live from     Takamagahara's special track [11:39] Voice     is yours truly, the guardian deity of     travelers, and my special guest, the Manager! [11:42] Manager     Thank you, thank you! I     also sponsor the race! [11:44] Voice     So, Manager, [11:46] Voice     tell us who you think will win this race. [11:48] Manager     Only the gods know! SIGN    The current god viewership rating is 3.5%. [11:49] Voice     Correct! And then... [11:51] Manager     And then... [11:51] Voice     And then... [11:52] Takeru     They're showing off the god     ratings on the screen... [11:52] Manager     And then... [11:53] Voice     And then... [11:53] Manager     And then... [11:54] Voice     And then... [11:55] Voice     Now, it looks like all the racers     are standing by to begin. [12:02] Nya     My hammer shoots flames! [12:05] Shima     What are you doing here?! [12:07] Nya     Well, Chu-tan didn't show up! [12:09] Nya     So it makes sense that I fill     in the rat's position! [12:13] Nya     Me! [12:13] Nya     Ox! [12:14] Nya     Tiger! [12:14] Nya     Rabbit! [12:15] Nya     Dragon! [12:15] Nya     Snake! [12:16] Nya     Snake... [12:18] Nya     Meow! [12:19] Uma     It stopped at me again! [12:26] Shima     You start there! [12:29] Nya     I don't wanna be in the back! [12:31] Nya     I don't wanna! I don't wanna! [12:32] Usa     Be quiet. [12:34] Usa     You're still only an Eto-musume. [12:37] Usa     This race is a sacred divine ritual. [12:40] Usa     Someone who isn't an Eto-shin can't just— [12:41] Manager     Okay! Everyone face forward! [12:47] Manager     Here we go! [12:56] Nya     Time to fly! [13:02] Uri     Uri! [13:08] Voice     Oh, my! A series of crashes already! [13:11] Voice     Uri-tan has died,     and Piyo-tan has lost her memory! SIGN    Boar Rooster [13:20] Takeru     That was a quick withdrawal     and reincarnation. [13:23] Uri     This was our fate. [13:24] Voice     Oh? It looks like there's still [13:26] Voice     a racer at the starting line! [13:29] Mei     If... If I win, I'll be Takeru-san's... [13:32] Mei     Takeru-san's... [13:35] Mei     Oh, gosh! I'm so embarrassed! SIGN    Sheep [13:39] Uri     I can't tell if she's motivated or not. [13:43] Takeru     Y-Yeah. [13:49] Voice     Taking an early lead are     Shima-tan and Dora-tan! [13:53] Voice     Both are entering the magical [13:55] Voice     Raw-Barley-Raw-Rice-Raw-Gods Curve! [14:03] Takeru     Whoa, that's dangerous! [14:04] Uri     The Raw-Barley-Raw-Rice-Raw-Gods Curve is [14:06] Uri     the toughest part of the course. [14:08] Mei     Takeru-san, no... You can't do that... [14:09] Uri     I can't believe she took it from     the outside without stopping her [14:11] Uri     secondary turbine by caramelizing     it with a split twist lift! [14:13] Mei     But... If it's you, Takeru-san... [14:15] Takeru     You just made that more aromatic     at the end by boiling sugar... [14:17] Mei     Oh, no! [14:18] Uri     We can't take our eyes off this race. [14:19] Voice     And now for an interview     with the two leaders. [14:22] Voice     Manager, it's all yours! [14:23] Mei     No... You mustn't do that... [14:23] Manager     Right! I'm on it! [14:27] Manager     Hey, there! [14:28] Manager     So what are both of your wishes? [14:29] Both     I'm blind! [14:30] Voice     Shima-tan and Dora-tan are     both off the course! [14:33] Voice     What a shame! Truly a shame! SIGN    Dragon Tiger [14:37] Shima     Hey, what the hell?!     Don't interview us there! [14:41] Dora     Wait... You don't think we were [14:43] Dora     cut from the program for time, do you? [14:45] Manager     You two are grown-ups,     so you understand, right? [14:48] Manager     Kidding! [14:50] Uri     What a pity. [14:51] Voice     Oh! Taking the lead from     Shima-tan and Dora-tan [14:54] Voice     are Key-tan and Inu-tan,     racing side by side! [14:56] Key     Here, Inu-tan! An aged bone! [14:57] [SONG] Text     Aged Bone [14:59] Inu     Huh? [14:59] Inu     Actually, I wanted to give you     a present too, Key-tan... [15:03] Inu     Here you go! Legendary bananas! [15:05] InuKey     Yay! Thank— [15:08] Voice     Their heart-warming gift exchange     has ended in a crash! [15:12] Mo     I'm going to win and make     all of Nya-tan mine! [15:23] Usa     I-It can't... [15:24] Usa     be! [15:26] Voice     Mo-tan and Usa-tan got tangled     up in Key-tan and Inu-tan's crash! [15:27] Usa     Ouch... [15:29] Voice     They're both out of the race! SIGN    Dog Monkey SIGN    Rabbit Ox [15:32] InuKey     Boo! [15:34] Takeru     You all dropped out of that     race with amazing speed. [15:37] Takeru     That just leaves Shar-tan and... SIGN    Snake [15:42] Shar     I'm back. [15:43] Takeru     Okay, [15:45] Takeru     that just leaves Uma-tan and Nya-tan. [15:47] Mo     Oh, my God! [15:49] Mo     Everyone, look at the screen! [15:51] Key     Yikes! The god viewership rating! SIGN    The current god viewership rating is 1.3%. [15:53] Usa     If it keeps dropping, it'll fall     below 1% and get canceled! [15:57] Inu     It's canceled! It's gonna be canceled! [15:59] Takeru     Don't say it so loudly!     Uma-tan will hear— [16:03] Uri     It's already too late. [16:05] Uma     C-C-C-Canceled?! SIGN         An Eto-shin may give her Sol/Lull Seal      to anyone whose skills she deems worthy,     regardless of whether they battle.     The recipient may then give the     Sol/Lull Seal to another, as well. SIGN    [Zodiac Precepts ~Article 10: "Ending"     The ETM12 ends when any of the following     conditions are met: an Eto-musume collects     all twelve Eto-shin's Sol/Lull seals, all 108 Eto-musume     are defeated, or the sixty-day period reaches its end.] [16:25] Voice     Things are getting dramatic [16:27] Voice     at the Takamagahara Commemorative     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup! [16:30] Voice     The only racers left are     Uma-tan and Nya-tan! [16:34] Uma     If this keeps up, our god ratings will... [16:36] Uma     I have to keep it together! [16:38] Uma     Nya-tan and I have to     see this race through! [16:42] Nya     I'm the one who's gonna     have my wish granted! [16:45] Manager     By the way, cat, what would your wish be? [16:47] Nya     That's obvious! To join the zodiac! [16:50] Manager     Ah, no... [16:51] Manager     That wish can only be granted     through the ETM12. [16:54] Nya     What? Really?! [16:55] Manager     Well, of course!     Just think about it logically! [16:58] Nya     What? Then there's no point in doing this! [17:00] Nya     I'm quitting! [17:02] Uma     H-Hold it! [17:04] Uma     I-In that case, [17:06] Uma     we'll change this race     into a battle right now! [17:09] Uma     If you win, you can [17:12] Uma     have my Sol/Lull Seal! [17:14] Nya     Then I'll do it! [17:15] Nya     I'll go at it with all I've got! [17:18] Uma     Then let's begin the battle! [17:20] [SONG] Text     Approved [17:21] Voice     Th-Th-This is incredible! [17:24] Voice     Both Uma-tan and Nya-tan refuse to yield! [17:26] Voice     This race is reaching a heated climax! SIGN    The current god viewership rating is 1.6%. [17:31] Takeru     The god rating went back up a bit! [17:33] InuKey     Awesome! [17:34] Mo     Wonderful! [17:35] Mei     That's amazing. [17:36] Uri     Gods are surprisingly easy to please. [17:38] Uma     She passes me, and I pass her... [17:40] Uma     What a perfect race! [17:43] Uma     If we keep this up,     the god rating will reach 3%... [17:46] Uma     No, 6%! [17:48] Uma     No, it could even reach 10%! [17:55] Voice     Congratulations! [17:57] Voice     You've just set a record SIGN    Takamagahara Commemorative Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup [18:00] Voice     like none ever seen in the 2,000 years [18:03] Voice     since the Takamagahara Commemorative Maid     Café Eto Manager's Cup's beginning! [18:05] Uma     Th-Thank you! SIGN    Thank you for the highest god viewership rating ever!! [18:10] Uma     Thank you! [18:12] Uma     With this, I've successfully [18:14] Uma     done my job as an Eto-shin! [18:18] Voice     And the finish line is now drawing near! [18:21] Voice     Which racer will claim victory     in the Takamagahara Commemorative [18:24] Voice     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup?! [18:27] Uma     If I cross the finish line first, [18:28] Uma     this will be the greatest     Takamagahara Commemorative [18:31] Uma     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup of all ti— [18:34] Voice     Oh! And now the previously missing     Erymanthian Boar charges in! [18:38] Voice     Both racers are sent flying! [18:47] Uma     W-Wait... [18:53] Uma     Now we'll definitely be canceled... [18:56] Nya     I'm not done yet! [19:06] Nya     I said I'm not done yet! [19:15] Uma     Nya-tan... [19:19] Nya     This is my chance! [19:23] Nya     Now! [19:25] Nya     Cat Gun! [19:32] Voice     Nya-tan finishes! [19:34] Voice     The winner is the     spur-of-the-moment entry, Nya-tan! [19:36] Nya     I did it! [19:38] Uma     To turn such a [19:41] Uma     dire situation into an opportunity... [19:46] Nya     I won! [19:52] Voice     This has been the Takamagahara Commemorative     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup [19:55] Voice     at Takamagahara's special track,     with the guardian deity of travelers [19:58] Voice     and my special guest, the Manager! [20:00] Manager     Great work! [20:02] Voice     Yes, same to you! SIGN    Takamagahara Commemorative Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup [20:05] Uma     Thank you. [20:07] Uma     Because of you, I realized something. [20:11] Uma     A divine ritual should be carried     out for the gods and the people, [20:14] Uma     with all of your heart,     and with the greatest joy. [20:18] Uma     I was so fixated on god viewership ratings [20:20] Uma     that I forgot the true     meaning of the ritual... [20:24] Uma     There was no way such a ritual     could be successful. [20:28] Uma     I'm so ashamed. [20:30] Nya     I don't think you need to be so sad. [20:33] Nya     You did your best. [20:35] Nya     I probably couldn't have     worked so hard on my own. [20:39] Nya     You were amazing, Uma-tan! [20:41] Nya     I was totally frantic! [20:43] Nya     So, um, I mean... [20:45] Nya     You don't have to worry! [20:47] Nya     And anyway, it was fun! [20:49] Nya     Thanks, Uma-tan! [20:57] Takeru     Nya-tan... [20:58] Nya     What is it? [20:59] Takeru     Uh... Your clothes.. [21:01] Nya     My clothes? [21:02] Uri     She used up so much Sol/Lull, [21:04] Uri     she can't even keep clothes on. [21:06] Mo     Oh, yes! [21:08] Mo     Come on, baby! [21:10] Nya     Whoa, wait! [21:11] Nya     Stop! Don't touch me there! [21:12] Mo     Oh, it's ecstasy! [21:15] Mo     You're so soft... [21:20] Uma     I'll reflect on my actions. [21:22] Uma     To ensure that the Takamagahara Commemorative [21:25] Uma     Maid Café Eto Manager's Cup     can be held again someday, [21:29] Uma     I'll put forth my best effort. [21:33] Takeru     Uma-tan, look at the Sol/Lull TV. SIGN    This year's average god viewership rating was 40.0%. SIGN    This year's average god     viewership rating was 40.0%. [21:38] Uma     What?! [21:41] Shima     The dramatic climax, from the     destruction of the course [21:43] Shima     to the guts Nya-tan showed     crossing the finish line, [21:45] Shima     sent the god viewership     ratings through the roof. [21:55] Uri     The Manager's Cup was a huge success. [21:58] Takeru     So why don't we have an after-party? [22:02] Uma     Okay! SIGN    Next Time [23:35] Uma     I will now give the fortune for those     of you born in the year of the horse. [23:39] Uma     If you listen closely to     what I'm about to say, [23:42] Uma     your luck will improve! [23:44] Uma     Rat, ox, tiger, rabbit,     dragon, snake, horse! [23:47] Uma     Rat, ox, tiger, rabbit,     dragon, snake, horse! [23:47] Takeru     Next time: The Beauty of Flowers,     Bird Steps, and Moon. SIGN    The Beauty of Flowers, Bird Steps, and Moon [23:48] Uma     Rat, ox— SIGN    Horse SIGN    Horse! Horse! Horse! Horse! It's horse!! SIGN    Please watch again next week! Illustration: Ozawa Ari