E4 - You Can't Run from Democracy

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    What we love about Equa-senpai!!!
SIGN    The nape of her neck
     Her personality (magnificent)
     The way she used a vacuum cleaner
     Her lips
     Her hair (beautiful)
     Her face when she sleeps
     Basically, everything
     The dimples on her butt
     Her biceps
     The way she sounds when she's bothered (Totally)
     The shape of her ears
     Onigiri
     Her pen case
     Her groin when she does warm-up exercises (?)
     Her ribbon looks great on her!
     She stumbles a little when she puts her socks on
     Her lips when she says "food"
     Her taste in summer clothes! (And spring clothes!) (And mourning clothes!)
     The 0.3 mm mechanical pencil she bought but hasn't used much
     The cheerful way she slurped her ramen one time when she was hungry!
SIGN    Martes
SIGN    Equa-senpai
[00:20] Chairwoman
    Ahem. Martes's Mental Parliament
    is now in session.
SIGN    Martes's Mental Parliament
    Special Session No. 162
[00:26] Chairwoman
    Our order of business is, once again,
    our relationship with Equa-senpai.
[00:33] Extremist A
    We should tackle her and hold her down!
SIGN    Marte Patriot Party (extremist)
    MP Marte
[00:38] Crowd (for)
    Yeah!
[00:41] Crowd (against)
    Boo!
[00:44] Extremist A
    As you see here, GDP is up
    eight percent over last year.
SIGN    Great
SIGN    Devotion
SIGN    Power
[00:50] Extremist A
    Our national economy can no longer
    function without Equa-senpai.
[00:54] Extremist A
    Pushing her down is a historical necessity!
[00:57] Extremists
    Yay!
[00:58] Opposition
    Boo! Boo!
[01:02] Moderate A
    That would be an invasion, plain and simple!
SIGN    Marte Citizens' Party (moderate)
    MP Marte
[01:07] Moderate A
    It would be unilateral aggression!
    We lack Equa-senpai's consent!
[01:12] Extremist B
    Back off, hypocrite!
[01:16] Moderate B
    But our nation lacks the military
    strength to push her down!
[01:20] Extremist C
    We won't know unless we try!
[01:22] Extremist C
    Let's tackle her ASAP!
[01:24] Moderate C
    You're obsessed with pushing her down.
[01:26] Moderate C
    That's a strong start, but what
    are you going to do next?
[01:31] Extremist A
    We'll, um, well...
[01:33] Extremist B
    We'll be kind of lovey-dovey.
[01:35] Extremist C
    Or maybe, you know, make out.
[01:37] Moderate A
    How scandalous! You should
    be ashamed of yourselves.
[01:43] Anti-Undies A
    Excuse me.
[01:46] Anti-Undies A
    Excuse me!
[01:48] Chairwoman
    MP Marte, you have the floor.
[01:52] Anti-Undies A
    Go commando.
[01:54] Chairwoman
    Huh?
[01:57] Anti-Undies A
    How about going commando?
SIGN    Anti-Undies Party (fringe)    
    MP Marte
[02:04] Chairwoman
    I'm sorry, I don't quite follow.
[02:08] Anti-Undies A
    We'll seduce Equa-senpai.
[02:10] Equa
    Huh?
[02:11] Anti-Undies A
    If we come on strong,
    she'll be head over heels.
[02:11] Equa
    What? Hang on.
[02:15] Equa
    Oh, Martes-san...
[02:17] Anti-Undies A
    Then she'll be as good as ours!
[02:20] Equa
    Martes-san! Martes-san!
[02:20] Extremist B
    That's nonsense!
[02:22] Moderate B
    This is why I hate fringe parties.
[02:24] Equa
    Martes-san! Martes-san?
[02:25] Extremist C
    That kind of love is science fiction!
[02:28] Moderate C
    Propose something more achievable!
[02:30] Equa
    Martes-san!
[02:41] Client
    Eek!
[02:42] Equa
    Have you been listening, Martes-san?
[02:44] Martes
    Sorry. I was kind of lost in thought.
[02:47] Feles
    At a time like this?!
[02:49] Alga
    I bet you were thinking
    about something naughty.
[02:53] Martes
    Fat chance!
[02:54] Ulula
    Woof?
[02:56] Equa
    Stop that, all of you.
[02:58] Martes
    Equa-senpai...
[02:59] Equa
    There's nothing naughty about Martes-san.
[03:03] Equa
    Right?
[03:04] Martes
    Oh, well, I might be
    reasonably naughty, actu—Hm?
SIGN    Estab Life: Great Escape
[04:46] Chairwoman A
    Ahem.
SIGN    Martes's Mental Parliament
    Special Session No. 163
[04:47] Chairwoman A
    This emergency meeting of
    parliament is now in session.
[04:51] Chairwoman A
    Our order of business is, um...
[04:54] Chairwoman A
    our future course of action.
SIGN    You Can't Run from Democracy
[04:59] Moderate A
    What are you talking about?!
[05:01] Moderate A
    An enemy attack has split
    our nation clean in two!
[05:04] Moderate A
    And we alone have been left
    behind in the Ueno Cluster.
[05:09] Chairwoman A
    Parts of us have been scattered before,
[05:13] Chairwoman A
    but being split in half like
    this is a new predicament.
[05:18] Moderate A
    Yes! Split in half! And to make
    matters worse, those extremists
[05:22] Moderate A
    are with Equa-senpai!
[05:25] Moderate A
    They escaped together! How will
    we overcome this dilemma?!
[05:30] Moderate B
    The extremists will tackle
    Equa-senpai for sure!
[05:34] Moderate C
    We're done for!
[05:37] Anti-Undies A
    Then let's go commando.
[05:39] Chairwoman A
    Order! Order! The enemy is here!
[05:44] All
    Huh?!
[05:59] Mini-Martes A
    What am I gonna do now?
[06:05] Pu-Pu
    Pu?
[06:14] Man
    Thank you. Thank you. You saved me.
[06:18] Equa
    I'm so glad. Please enjoy your new life.
[06:22] Man
    Thank you so much.
[06:27] Man
    Bye now! Thank you!
[06:30] Alga
    Hey! We don't have much time
    to catch the Ooedo Line!
[06:34] Equa
    Oh! You're right.
[06:35] Feles
    Hurry!
[06:38] Equa
    Hm?
[06:45] Equa
    Martes-san, are you feeling all right?
[06:49] Mini-Martes B
    Oh... Yes.
[06:51] Equa
    Excuse me.
[07:11] Feles
    Is she okay?
[07:13] Equa
    Yes.
[07:14] Equa
    Martes-san, we made it to the station.
[07:26] Ticket Gate
    Present your pass immediately.
[07:35] Equa
    Hurry, Ulula-san! Show your pass!
[07:37] Ticket Gate
    Warning! Present your pass immediately!
[07:42] Ticket Gate
    Five, four, three, two, one...
[07:47] Ulula
    Bow-wow!
[07:56] Mecha Attendant
    We always appreciate your patronage.
[08:00] Alga
    We almost got to watch your execution,
    Dog Breath. What a shame.
[08:03] Ulula
    Woof woof!
[08:04] Feles
    Still, it would be so much easier if
    we could take clients on the subway.
[08:09] Alga
    No can do. They'd need passes.
[08:11] Feles
    Where do these passes come from, anyway?
[08:14] Alga
    A green ticket counter or some
    convenience store, or so I hear.
[08:17] Feles
    What's that mean? Are you making fun of me?
SIGN    Martes's Mental Parliament
    Emergency Special Session No. 163
[08:23] Chairwoman B
    This emergency meeting of
    parliament is now in session.
[08:27] Chairwoman B
    Our order of business is, um... It's...
[08:33] Extremist A
    Our time has come at last!
[08:36] Extremist A
    Behold! Those weak-willed pigs are gone!
[08:39] Extremist A
    We were resigned to be a
    minority by a mere few votes,
[08:42] Extremist A
    but now we're finally in control!
[08:45] Extremist A
    This means that we can push Equa-senpai
    down right out in the open!
[08:49] Crowd
    Yay!
[08:52] Chairwoman B
    You've raised that proposal before.
[08:54] Chairwoman B
    What will you do after 
    you push her down?
[08:57] Extremist A
    Huh? W-Well... Um...
[09:00] Extremist A
    We'll get kind of squishy-squishy, I guess.
[09:02] Chairwoman B
    Please be specific. What will
    you "get squishy-squishy" with?
[09:07] Extremist A
    Huh? Um... H-Her cheek, maybe?
[09:11] Chairwoman B
    Her cheek?! That's it?!
[09:14] Extremist B
    Objection!
[09:15] Extremist B
    That question isn't on
    this session's agenda!
[09:18] Extremist C
    Exactly! We should focus on what
    to do with our divided body!
[09:24] Extremist A
    Yes, they're right!
[09:26] Extremist A
    It's vital that we take this chance to get
    up close and personal with Equa-senpai!
[09:31] Extremist A
    It doesn't matter what we
    get squishy-squishy with!
[09:33] Extremist A
    It can be her cheek, or even her boobs!
SIGN    CHEEK
SIGN    BOOBS
[09:35] Chairwoman B
    Her boobs?
[09:37] Extremist A
    Citizens, lend me your ears!
[09:39] Extremist A
    Rise up! The time to conquer
    Equa-senpai is here at last!
[09:46] Extremist A
    Do not hesitate! Tackle
    her with all our might!
[09:51] Extremist A
    Do it now!
[09:53] Extremist A
    This very moment!
[09:57] Equa
    Martes-san?
[09:59] Mini-Martes B
    I can't push her.
[10:02] Equa
    Um...
[10:04] Mini-Martes B
    I can't knock her down.
[10:07] Equa
    There, there.
[10:09] Feles
    What's up?
[10:10] Equa
    Nothing really. I just felt like it.
[10:13] Extremist A
    We can't push her down!
[10:18] Extremist A
    This was our time! Our chance! So why?!
[10:22] Extremist A
    Is this a moderate conspiracy?!
[10:24] Chairwoman B
    We just don't have enough body mass.
[10:26] Extremist B
    She's treating us like a little kid.
[10:27] Chairwoman B
    She's always done that.
[10:29] Extremist C
    We just need more motivation!
[10:31] Extremist C
    Go straight for her boobs!
[10:33] Chairwoman B
    I'm going to strike that
    remark from the record.
[10:35] Extremist A
    Either way, we're lucky
    we got on the Ooedo Line.
[10:38] Extremist A
    Now we can go back home
    without the other half.
[10:41] Extremist B
    Exactly. The moderates are
    stranded in the forests of Ueno!
[10:45] Extremist B
    Serves them right!
[10:46] Extremist C
    I hope they perish puking blood after
    getting punched by a panda!
[10:56] Pu-Pu
    You have nowhere to go, pu?
[10:59] (Flashback) Pu-Pu
    In that case, missy, come with me, pu.
[11:05] (Flashback) Pu-Pu
    Pu!
[11:15] Pu-Pu
    This is the Animal Forest of Ueno.
[11:18] Pu-Pu
    It's the last refuge for people
    with nowhere left to run, pu.
[11:25] Mini-Martes A
    Don't you have homes?
[11:27] Pu-Pu
    We all sleep over there, pu.
[11:32] Pu-Pu
    It's a nice place, pu.
[11:35] Mini-Martes A
    You sleep...over there?
SIGN    St. Yushima
     Academy
[11:51] Head Teacher
    Excuse me, Equa-san?
[11:55] Equa
    Yes?
[11:56] Head Teacher
    Who is this child?
[11:58] Equa
    She's Martes-san, a first-year.
[12:00] Head Teacher
    But this is a second-year class.
[12:03] Equa
    I think she really wants
    to sit in on your class.
[12:07] Equa
    Right?
[12:09] Chairwoman B
    Do we agree?
[12:11] Extremist A
    No! That teacher is in our way!
[12:13] Extremist A
    Let's scare her off!
[12:18] Head Teacher
    She's totally snarling at me.
[12:29] Feles
    She's all over you.
[12:32] Equa
    She's been like this no
    matter where I bring her.
[12:35] Equa
    I'm not sure whether I'm
    more happy or embarrassed.
[12:39] Feles
    If she's bothering you,
    just kick her to the curb.
[12:41] Equa
    Don't be silly.
[12:42] Equa
    She's just so cute, I don't
    know what to do with her.
[12:44] Extremist A
    Did you hear that, ladies?!
    She called us "cute"!
[12:49] Extremist B
    Yes! I can die happy!
[12:51] Extremist C
    I've got no regrets!
[12:53] Anti-Undies
    Go commando! Go commando!
[12:54] Chairwoman B
    Order! Order!
[12:56] Chairwoman B
    That gunslinger suspects us.
[12:59] Feles
    I think she's been acting strange
    since she got bisected in Ueno.
[13:04] Equa
    That's true. She doesn't
    seem like her usual self.
[13:09] Feles
    I don't know much about demihumans,
[13:11] Feles
    but maybe the other half
    of her is still in Ueno.
[13:16] Extremist A
    Mind your own business!
[13:17] Extremist B
    Let's shut her up.
[13:19] Extremist C
    Killing her works, too!
[13:21] Equa
    Martes-san?
[13:24] Feles
    What was that for?
[13:26] Equa
    Is she there?
[13:27] Feles
    Huh?
[13:28] Equa
    Your other half is still there, isn't she?
[13:32] Feles
    I thought so. But why hide it?
[13:35] Equa
    Feles-san!
[13:36] Feles
    Don't tell me you're going to Ueno!
[13:38] Equa
    Of course I am! We have to go back for her!
[13:49] Moderate B
    Her chest...
[13:51] Moderate C
    Her ankles...
[13:52] Extremist A
    Her smooth skin...
[13:54] Moderate B
    When she eats donuts...
[13:56] Moderate C
    The way she coughs...
[13:57] Extremist A
    Her brain waves—especially her beta waves...
[14:00] Extremist A
    Um... How many does that make?
[14:03] Chairwoman A
    385 in the past 20 hours.
[14:07] Chairwoman A
    Listing our favorite things about
    Equa-senpai to kill time is getting us nowhere.
[14:12] Chairwoman A
    Isn't this enough?
[14:15] Crowd
    Wait. Hang on a sec.
[14:16] Crowd
    Easy for you to say.
[14:17] Crowd
    You know?
[14:17] Crowd
    Yeah.
[14:18] Crowd
    Then, that means...
[14:21] Crowd
    That means...
[14:22] Crowd
    Hm...
[14:22] Moderate A
    You want us to put up with this situation?
[14:22] Crowd
    Wait. But then...
[14:25] Chairwoman A
    It is relatively comfortable.
[14:31] Pu-Pu
    Martes-chan, you seem down, pu.
[14:34] Pu-Pu
    What's on your mind, pu?
[14:36] Mini-Martes A
    Oh, well...
[14:38] Chairwoman A
    What more could you possibly ask for?
[14:41] Moderate A
    We've got no return pass.
[14:44] Moderate B
    We've got no money or ID.
[14:47] Moderate C
    And worst of all...
[14:58] All
    Equa-senpai isn't here!
SIGN    Ueno Station
[15:14] Equa
    All right, let's hurry up and find
    the other half of Martes-san.
[15:17] Feles
    But how?
[15:19] Ulula
    Bow-wow.
[15:23] Equa
    We're counting on you, Ulula-san.
[15:27] Extremist B
    She's using Dog Breath to hunt us down?
[15:30] Extremist C
    Not good. She'll find the body
    with the moderates in it.
[15:33] Extremist A
    Calm down, ladies!
[15:35] Extremist A
    This will actually work in our favor.
[15:38] Chairwoman B
    How so?
[15:39] Extremist A
    That should be obvious.
[15:41] Extremist A
    We'll slaughter those filthy
    moderates on sight!
[15:44] Anti-Undies
    Go commando! Go commando! Go commando!
[15:59] Alga
    That guy's got bigger balls than I do.
[16:02] Feles
    Huh?
[16:16] Ulula
    Arf? Arf!
[16:17] Equa
    Martes-san!
SIGN    Absent
[16:43] Moderate A
    So, the extremists had the same idea we did.
[16:46] Moderate B
    But at the same time, with the same weapon?
[16:48] Extremist C
    They fight as dirty as I'd expect,
    considering we're the same person.
[16:51] Extremist A
    Don't stop attacking!
[17:03] Pu-Pu
    Martes-chan?!
[17:09] Alga
    This is ridiculous!
[17:10] Equa
    How could Martes-san do that to herself?
[17:13] Feles
    Do they hate each other because
    they're similar—I mean, identical?
[17:27] Equa
    Oh! Both Martes-sans!
[17:28] Feles
    They're the same person.
[17:57] Mini-Martes B
    I'll put an end to this here.
[17:59] Mini-Martes B
    You're going away for good!
[18:01] Mini-Martes A
    You took the words out of my mouth.
[18:04] Mini-Martes A
    This is the day you die.
[18:05] Mini-Martes B
    I love Equa-senpai more!
[18:08] Mini-Martes A
    No, I love her way more!
[18:10] Mini-Martes A & B
    Basically, I can't stand you!
[18:17] Mini-Martes B
    You creep!
[18:19] Mini-Martes A
    You slime!
[18:21] Mini-Martes B
    We both are!
[18:35] Mini-Martes A
    I'll never let you have Equa-senpai!
[18:37] Mini-Martes B
    I'm fighting for Equa-senpai, too!
[18:59] Equa
    That's quite enough!
[19:02] Mini-Martes A & B
    Huh?
[19:03] Equa
    You need to make up, Martes-san.
    And you too, Martes-san.
[19:08] Equa
    If you go on fighting like that, you'll—
[19:11] Equa
    Huh?
[19:13] Martes
    S-Senpai!
[19:19] Feles
    Equa!
[19:20] Ulula
    Eh-wah!
[19:20] Mini-Martes A
    Equa-senpai!
[19:22] Mini-Martes B
    Give me your hand!
[19:22] Mini-Martes A
    Stretch your hand out farther!
[19:24] Mini-Martes A
    I already am! You stretch yours more!
[19:27] Mini-Martes B
    Hurry up or we won't be
    able to save Equa-senpai!
[19:30] Mini-Martes A
    What do you expect me to do?! I'm too small!
[19:32] Mini-Martes A
    That makes it your fault!
[19:34] Mini-Martes B
    You say sorry first!
[19:36] Equa
    Martes-san...
[19:37] Mini-Martes A & B
    Equa-senpai!
[19:41] Equa
    Please try to get along.
[19:50] Chairwoman A & B
    If both parties cooperate,
    we'll have enough mass to reach her.
[19:54] Chairwoman A & B
    Make your decision!
[20:04] Feles
    Equa!
[20:18] Equa
    Martes-san...
[20:21] Equa
    Are you all right now?
[20:24] Martes
    Yes.
[20:25] Martes
    I'm, um... sorry.
[20:30] Equa
    What for?
[20:32] Martes
    I mean...
[20:33] Martes
    I made all kinds of trouble for you.
[20:37] Martes
    That's just how I am.
[20:39] Martes
    When I split in two,
    I turn cunning and wicked.
[20:44] Equa
    You're not cunning or wicked.
[20:46] Martes
    Huh?!
[20:47] Equa
    Being torn between two ideas is normal.
[20:51] Equa
    You're still you, even when you split apart.
[20:56] Equa
    Besides, I have times like that myself.
[20:58] Martes
    Huh?!
[21:00] Equa
    In any case, I love every
    side of you, Martes-san.
[21:05] Martes
    What?
[21:06] Equa
    I mean it! Really and truly!
[21:14] Martes
    Senpai! I love you even more!
[21:17] Martes
    Lots and lots more!
[21:19] Crowd
    Yay!