E3 - Baby Talk Spell

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
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SIGN    Episode 3      "Baby Talk Spell"
SIGN    Episode 3      "Baby Talk Spell"
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SIGN    Episode 3      "Baby Talk Spell"
[01:00] ---
    Wow, it's 9 pm already?
SIGN    Episode 3      "Baby Talk Spell"
SIGN    Episode 3      "Baby Talk Spell"
[01:04] ---
    Wanna head home?
[01:05] ---
    Yeah. We'll finish up tomorrow—
[01:09] ---
    An announcement? At this hour?
[01:15] ---
    Whad'd he jutht thay?
[01:17] ---
    It wath a weird-thounding voithe...
[01:19] ---
    Huh?
[01:20] ---
    Why're we tawking wike ickle babieth?
[01:22] ---
    I can't thtop!
[01:24] ---
    Last night at 9 pm,
[01:24] ---
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[01:24] ---
    Why?
[01:24] ---
    Major IT Corp Workers Infantilized?!
[01:24] ---
    Major IT Corp Workers Infantilized?!
[01:24] ---
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[01:24] ---
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[01:24] ---
    Crotter Inc. Employees Talking Like Babies
[01:24] ---
    Crotter Inc. Employees Talking Like Babies
[01:26] ---
    employees at major tech company
    Crotter began talking like babies.
[01:32] ---
    I believe it's a form of
    mass psychogenic illness.
[01:32] ---
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[01:32] ---
    Exclusive
[01:32] ---
    Exclusive
[01:32] ---
    Is the Cause Mass Hysteria?
[01:32] ---
    The Dark Side of Crotter Inc.
[01:32] ---
    The Dark Side of Crotter Inc.
[01:35] ---
    There have been plenty of rumors about
    Crotter being an exploitative employer.
[01:39] ---
    Man, their employees are talkin' like babies?
[01:39] ---
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[01:39] ---
     The truth about the Crotter Inc baby talk scandal?!
[01:39] ---
    Search
[01:39] ---
    Top Chat
[01:39] ---
    Exploitation confirmed
[01:39] ---
    All the employees? Insane
[01:39] ---
    Great reporting, Charabon!
[01:39] ---
    lololololol
[01:39] ---
    Boycotting Crotter now
[01:39] ---
    This is all speculation, right?
[01:39] ---
    Crotter scares me
[01:39] ---
    1,524 watching now
[01:39] ---
    Charabon Kibiku
[01:39] ---
    13 subscribers
[01:42] ---
    Crotter must really treat 'em like dirt.
[01:45] ---
    "Crotter? More like Exploiter!"
[01:45] ---
    Is Crotter exploiting their employees??
[01:45] ---
    Is Crotter exploiting their employees??
[01:45] ---
    News Anon
[01:45] ---
    Thoundth thcary
[01:45] ---
    Thoundth thcary
[01:45] ---
    News Anon
[01:45] ---
    I'm cwying
[01:45] ---
    I'm cwying
[01:45] ---
    Crotter? More
    like Exploiter!
[01:46] ---
    Talking like babies?
[01:46] ---
    This Crotter news is
[01:46] ---
    loltastic
[01:47] ---
    You thaid it
[01:47] ---
    I'm qwitting!
[01:48] ---
    Their logo sucks
[01:48] ---
    "Their president, Kuroki, is a total asshole, yeah."
[01:48] ---
    Their president, Kuroki, is a total asshole, yeah
[01:50] ---
    My boyfriend baby talking
[01:50] ---
    "Crotter's stock is plummeting.
    Serves 'em right!"
[01:51] ---
    Crotter's stock is plummeting
[01:51] ---
    Serves 'em right!
[01:52] ---
    all the time would suck
[01:54] ---
    In my roflcopter now
[01:55] ---
    Oh, yes, I saw it on the news.
[01:56] ---
    Phone
[01:58] ---
    It sounds quite serious.
[02:00] ---
    We need you to devewop
    an Anti-Thpeww wight away.
[02:03] ---
    We'ww pay you two miwwion yen fow it.
[02:06] ---
    Oh, it got you too?
[02:07] ---
    It thure did.
[02:09] ---
    Can you geddit done by the enda th'day or not?!
[02:11] ---
    Very well. We'll get started right away.
[02:11] ---
    Phone
[02:15] ---
    Chancellor. Two million yen...
    Is that for developing another Anti-Spell?
[02:19] ---
    Yes. He asked me to do it right away.
[02:22] ---
    And here I was hoping we could make
    world conquest pancakes today...
[02:24] ---
    Yay!!
[02:24] ---
    Yay!!
[02:27] ---
    How will pancakes help
    you conquer the world?!
[02:29] ---
    Question is, how do we rack
    up the thank-yous we need?
[02:29] ---
    Phone
[02:33] ---
    Good question.
[02:34] ---
    Um...
[02:35] ---
    Have you considered helping DX Fighter?
[02:39] ---
    What? What are you talking about, Philip?
[02:40] ---
    Phone
[02:42] ---
    We're an evil secret society, remember?
[02:44] ---
    Wait a minute.
[02:45] ---
    Philip might've hit on a good idea for once.
[02:47] ---
    What? You really want me to listen
    to one of Philip's stupid ideas?
[02:51] ---
    It's true that Philip is hideously
    incompetent and worthless,
[02:53] ---
    but that doesn't mean we should ignore every
    nonsensical word that comes out of his mouth.
[02:57] ---
    That's just mean.
[02:58] ---
    Phone
[02:58] ---
    Well, I don't have any better ideas.
[03:01] ---
    Let's try it.
[03:02] ---
    Com
[03:02] ---
    Com
[03:02] ---
    Com
[03:02] ---
    pany
[03:02] ---
    pany
[03:02] ---
    pany
[03:03] ---
    Get real. Why should I hire you?
[03:05] ---
    Come on, don't be like that.
[03:07] ---
    You need the help, don't you?
[03:09] ---
    I just hired some help.
[03:10] ---
    We just want to tag along for
    some of your superhero stuff.
[03:14] ---
    You don't have to pay us.
[03:15] ---
    Well, if I must...
[03:16] ---
    Sato! What's my schedule for today?
[03:18] ---
    This afternoon, you're visiting the
    pediatric ward at Karauri General,
[03:22] ---
    and bagging a group of
    remittance fraudsters.
[03:24] ---
    Tonight, it's the mahjong den with reporters.
[03:25] ---
    Slick
[03:25] ---
    Slick
[03:26] ---
    Wait a minute! You sure about that last one?
[03:28] ---
    Could we tag along on
    your hospital visit, perhaps?
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SIGN    Cabinet Special Investigations Room (NTS)
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SIGN    Cabinet Special Investigations Room (NTS)
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[03:35] ---
    Sorry to bother you when you're so busy.
SIGN    Cabinet Special Investigations Room (NTS)
SIGN    Cabinet Special Investigations Room (NTS)
[03:38] ---
    Not at all.
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SIGN    NTS Chief
    Ootori Mifuyu
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    Ootori Mifuyu
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SIGN    NTS Chief
    Ootori Mifuyu
SIGN    NTS Chief
    Ootori Mifuyu
SIGN    NTS Chief
    Ootori Mifuyu
[03:39] ---
    Are you familiar with the baby talk incident
    currently transpiring at Crotter Inc?
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    Hyodo
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    Hyodo
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    Hyodo
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    Hyodo
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    Hyodo
[03:44] ---
    The "mass hysteria from
    work stress" incident?
[03:48] ---
    People don't start talking like
    babies because they're stressed.
[03:51] ---
    I always use baby talk with my wife,
    even when I'm not stressed at all.
[03:52] ---
    I'm feewing stwessed out from work!
[03:52] ---
    I'm feewing stwessed out from work!
[03:55] ---
    Too much information.
[03:57] ---
    An investigation has
    revealed that the victims
[03:59] ---
    heard a strange announcement
    over the PA moments before.
[04:04] ---
    That PA announcement
    must have been the cause.
[04:07] ---
    Hypnosis of some kind?
[04:09] ---
    Hypnosis uses the power of suggestion.
[04:11] ---
    Not everyone is susceptible to it.
[04:14] ---
    But every single person who heard that
    announcement started talking like infants.
[04:14] ---
    Goo goo gaga!
[04:14] ---
    Goo goo gaga!
[04:20] ---
    The implications are utterly terrifying.
[04:22] ---
    You mean, "What if the spell had
    been designed to kill them instantly,
[04:25] ---
    instead of just changing their speech?"
[04:27] ---
    Precisely.
[04:29] ---
    This is a matter of
    critical national security.
[04:33] ---
    Investigate at once,
[04:35] ---
    and find the person who
    made that announcement.
[04:37] ---
    Yes, sir.
[04:40] ---
    Karauri General Hospital
[04:40] ---
    Thank you for taking time out of your day.
[04:43] ---
    Not at all.
[04:44] ---
    Even if the pay's crap, brainwashing
    these kids while they're young
[04:48] ---
    means they'll buy my merch in the future.
[04:48] ---
    Waaaant!!
[04:48] ---
    Waaaant!!
[04:50] ---
    I don't mind at all.
[04:51] ---
    That's one asshole motivation!
[04:52] ---
    I was really rather shocked
    when you said you were coming,
[04:55] ---
    and you wanted us to pay
    you an appearance fee...
[04:58] ---
    Sounds like it was kind of a burden...
[04:59] ---
    I know!
[05:00] ---
    Usually, I just shake hands
    and sign autographs,
[05:03] ---
    but how about I blow their little
    minds with a Hero Show instead?
[05:05] ---
    Would you?
[05:07] ---
    Wash your
    hands!!
[05:07] ---
    I'm sure the children would love that!
[05:09] ---
    Sugihara-san. A word, please?
[05:11] ---
    Hm? Of course...
[05:15] ---
    What is DX Fighter doing here?
[05:17] ---
    Wash your
    hands!!
[05:17] ---
    I thought it might take the
    children's minds off their conditions...
[05:20] ---
    Still...
[05:21] ---
    Don't you know kids hate that guy
    even more than they hate redback spiders?
[05:21] ---
    Hated more than
    a redback spider!!
[05:21] ---
    Hated more than
    a redback spider!!
[05:26] ---
    Wash your
    hands!!
[05:26] ---
    And you're even paying him?
[05:28] ---
    I'm so sorry!
[05:29] ---
    Wash your
    hands!!
[05:29] ---
    How hated is that DX Fighter guy?
[05:31] ---
    If the children don't enjoy the show,
    it'll spell serious trouble for Sugihara-san...
[05:37] ---
    I hope this works.
[05:38] ---
    Wash your
    hands!!
[05:38] ---
    The baby talk spell has a hostile
    vibe value of negative 55.
[05:41] ---
    The same as getting jealous
    of your friend's cute girlfriend,
[05:43] ---
    I saw her with
     another guy!
[05:44] ---
    and lying to him to break them up.
[05:45] ---
    That's some pretty hostile vibes.
[05:47] ---
    Hero
[05:47] ---
    Show
[05:48] ---
    Okay, everyone!
[05:50] ---
    A superhero has come here
    today to cheer you all up,
[05:53] ---
    even though we didn't ask him to!
[05:58] ---
    Heroes are TV nonsense.
[06:00] ---
    If that stuff could cure us,
    we wouldn't need hospitals!
[06:03] ---
    Don't say that.
[06:05] ---
    Recovery is partly psychological.
    Haven't you heard of the placebo effect?
[06:06] ---
    I'm Cured!!
[06:06] ---
    I'm Cured!!
[06:06] ---
    I'm Cured!!
[06:06] ---
    I think!
[06:06] ---
    I think!
[06:06] ---
    Placibeaux
[06:06] ---
    Placebo Effect:
    Feeling better after
    taking fake medicine!
[06:06] ---
    Placebo Effect: 
    Feeling better after
    taking fake medicine!
[06:08] ---
    Nope!
[06:10] ---
    They're getting pretty rowdy in there.
[06:12] ---
    They're probably stressed out.
[06:14] ---
    Hey, DX Fighter.
[06:15] ---
    You'd better not go hitting
    those kids with a DX Bomber.
[06:18] ---
    Only a child would lose
    his temper at children.
[06:21] ---
    Then, let's call him out onto the stage.
[06:24] ---
    DX Fighter!
[06:28] ---
    Leave protecting the Earth to me!
[06:30] ---
    DX Fighter is here! Nice to meet you!
[06:35] ---
    Come on, everyone! Clap! Clap!
[06:37] ---
    He came here for you,
    even though we didn't ask him to!
[06:40] ---
    Are you embarrassed?
[06:42] ---
    You're the one who should be embarrassed!
[06:44] ---
    What a stupid-looking outfit.
[06:46] ---
    What was that?
[06:47] ---
    I'll blast you with my DX Bomber!
[06:49] ---
    You're gonna blast a child?
[06:50] ---
    I'll post that on Crotter!
[06:51] ---
    W-Wait!
[06:53] ---
    Everyone, look!
[06:54] ---
    It's an evil secret society!
[06:59] ---
    Listen up, children.
    This hospital is now mine!
[07:04] ---
    This is the lamest evil
    organization I've ever seen.
[07:07] ---
    They look like subway workers.
[07:08] ---
    That only applies to the chancellor.
[07:10] ---
    No, I don't work there either.
[07:11] ---
    Now, come at me!
[07:12] ---
    I'll blast you away with the DX Bomber!
[07:14] ---
    Right!
[07:15] ---
    Okay, men.
[07:17] ---
    Get him!
[07:22] ---
    He got us!
[07:23] ---
    You're using beams? That's cheating!
[07:24] ---
    Shut up! I'm outnumbered here!
[07:26] ---
    Curse you.
[07:28] ---
    Okay, Doc, unleash the monster!
[07:30] ---
    Right!
[07:33] ---
    That's scary! Way too scary!
[07:35] ---
    Calm down, everyone!
[07:36] ---
    Don't worry!
[07:37] ---
    It's just a show!
[07:38] ---
    It's too realistic, Doc!
[07:40] ---
    The children are
    hyperventilating out of fear!
[07:44] ---
    No fair! You ambushed him!
[07:46] ---
    Make sure to heed the rules,
    even when they're stupid!
[07:50] ---
    And get your daily calcium.
[07:51] ---
    I don't want to hear that from you!
[07:52] ---
    DX Fighter sucks!
[07:55] ---
    What was that?
[07:56] ---
    I'll re-educate you all!
[07:58] ---
    Don't you dare, DX Fighter!
[08:01] ---
    Out of my way!
[08:02] ---
    You've spoiled these children
    and made them major brats!
[08:05] ---
    Please... stop!
[08:10] ---
    You'll pay for that!
[08:14] ---
    Sugihara-san's awesome!
[08:15] ---
    Get him!
[08:17] ---
    She's so strong!
[08:20] ---
    Curse you!
[08:23] ---
    You're not bad...
[08:27] ---
    I've dabbled in Gracie jiu-jitsu.
[08:29] ---
    How'd that come about?!
[08:31] ---
    But... how about this?
[08:34] ---
    Rapid-Fire Double Bomber!
[08:36] ---
    Take that! And that! And that!
[08:39] ---
    So cool!
[08:40] ---
    Get him!
[08:45] ---
    That won't work on me twice!
[08:47] ---
    She dodged it!
[08:54] ---
    She did it!
[08:55] ---
    What's going on here?!
[09:00] ---
    Karauri General Hospital
[09:01] ---
    Why did you beat up the hero?
[09:03] ---
    I'm so sorry...
[09:05] ---
    Director!
[09:06] ---
    My spine hurts. I don't think I can
    do any superhero-ing for a while.
[09:11] ---
    You will compensate me
    for lost wages, won't you?
[09:14] ---
    Well... you're the one who
    pushed to perform here...
[09:19] ---
    What's that got to do with it?
[09:21] ---
    Very well.
[09:22] ---
    I'll write on Crotter that one
    of your employees assaulted me.
[09:22] ---
    DX Fighter
[09:22] ---
    Please recrott!
[09:22] ---
    An employee at Karauri
    General Hospital assaulted me!!!!
    It's gonna take two months
    to recover!!!!
[09:25] ---
    W-Wait a minute!
[09:27] ---
    I'll quit as an apology.
[09:29] ---
    And I'll pay DX Fighter's compensation, too.
[09:33] ---
    Oh, really?
[09:36] ---
    Here's my bank information.
    I'll take 500,000—
[09:36] ---
    Bank Info
[09:39] ---
    Bank Info
[09:39] ---
    Bank Info
[09:41] ---
    You bogus hero!
[09:42] ---
    Kids!
[09:43] ---
    Director, we want you to look at this.
[09:45] ---
    What is it?
[09:47] ---
    He's spent his whole life in a wheelchair.
[09:50] ---
    But after watching Sugihara-san,
    now he can do capoeira.
[09:55] ---
    This kid's been bedridden for months.
[09:57] ---
    But now he can do slacklining.
[09:59] ---
    No way!
[10:00] ---
    It's the placebo effect.
[10:00] ---
    Placibeaux
[10:00] ---
    Placebo Effect
[10:00] ---
    Placebo Effect
[10:02] ---
    Watching Sugihara-san
    fight encouraged us all.
[10:06] ---
    So please, Sugihara-san! Don't quit!
[10:09] ---
    Keep encouraging us like you did today!
[10:12] ---
    You guys... Thank you!
[10:15] ---
    Look!
[10:16] ---
    That "thank you" scored a 55 positive rating!
[10:19] ---
    We did it! Now we can make
    an Anti-Spell for the baby talk!
[10:23] ---
    Director.
[10:24] ---
    I helped the kids feel better.
[10:27] ---
    Could I trouble you for some more pay?
[10:29] ---
    Look! DX Fighter's jackassery
    scores a 200 negative rating!
[10:32] ---
    How is he even a superhero?!
[10:35] ---
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[10:35] ---
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[10:35] ---
    Hard Truth
[10:35] ---
    Major IT Corp Infantalization Was Actually...
[10:35] ---
    Major IT Corp Infantalization Was Actually...
[10:35] ---
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[10:35] ---
    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
[10:35] ---
    The Baby Talk Was a Company Activity
[10:35] ---
    The Baby Talk Was a Company Activity
[10:35] ---
    Learning that the mass baby talk
    incident that afflicted employees
[10:39] ---
    at major tech company Crotter Inc
     was just a company activity
[10:43] ---
    has brought a strained smile to
    the faces of all parties involved.
[10:47] ---
    I see...
[10:49] ---
    Perhaps I'll try an even
    more interesting spell.
[10:53] ---
    Help Spell
[10:53] ---
    Help Spell
[10:53] ---
    Help Spell
[10:54] ---
    Well? What will you do now?