E4 -

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:34] DevilA
    It started as a black market
    after World War II,
[01:37] DevilA
    then it became Electric Town,
[01:39] DevilA
    and then a computer town.
[01:42] DevilA
    And now, it's the biggest
    otaku city in the world.
[01:46] DevilA
    It is Akihabara.
SIGN    Akihabara 
    Gachapon Hall
[01:49] DevilA
    More than 400 gachapon
    machines can be found here.
SIGN    Akihabara 
    Gachapon Hall
[01:53] DevilA
    You're sure to find something you want.
SIGN    Mongolian Death Worm
SIGN    Figure
SIGN    Set 1
SIGN    Collect All 9
SIGN    Skyfish
SIGN    Flat-
     woods
SIGN    Monster
SIGN    Nessie
SIGN    Minnesota Iceman
SIGN    Chupacabra
SIGN    Tsuchi-
    noko
SIGN    RARE!!
SIGN    Mothman
SIGN    Shadow People
[01:57] Jashin
    If I get this on my next spin, I die.
SIGN    Insert Coins
[02:05] Jashin
    I'm safe!
[02:07] Jashin
    A skyfish, though?
[02:09] Jashin
    The "If I get this next, I die" rule
    adds an extra thrill to this game
[02:13] Jashin
    and makes it even more fun.
[02:16] Jashin
    Not like I'd actually die, anyway.
[02:21] Jashin
    I just keep getting dupes of this one.
[02:25] Jashin
    Whoa!
[02:26] Jashin
    Hey, dumbass! Can't you see
    there's a devil lying on the street here?!
[02:31] Jashin
    You shouldn't be driving!
     Run into a power pole and die!
[02:34] DevilA
    Folks, never lie down in the
    street or curse at people.
[02:41] DevilA
    Another dupe!
[02:42] DevilA
    Go to Hell, damn it! Bah!
[02:47] Jashin
    I'd have the full set if I could
    just get that rare tsuchinoko...
[02:57] Jashin
    I don't need a live one. No live ones.
[03:02] Jashin
    Live pets aren't allowed
    in Yurine's building.
[03:05] Jashin
    Beth is an exception, but that's it.
[03:08] Jashin
    I'll try a couple more times.
[03:11] Jashin
    Oh, I only have enough left to buy dinner.
[03:15] Jashin
    But it won't hurt to use just a little of it.
[03:18] (Flashback) Yurine
    If you spend that money
    on anything but groceries,
[03:21] (Flashback) Yurine
    I'll throw you into the wood chipper.
[03:23] (Flashback) Yurine
    wood chipper
[03:25] (Flashback) Yurine
    wood chipper
[03:26] Jashin
    Wood chipper...
[03:32] DevilA
    A wood chipper is a machine that's
    only for chopping wood into tiny pieces.
[03:36] DevilA
    If you use it for the wrong purposes,
     you're going to Hell!
[03:39] DevilA
    Get it? To Hell, 'cause she's a devil.
[03:43] Jashin
    If I use this money,
    I'll be in big trouble.
[03:47] Jashin
    So I won't.
[03:48] Yoshihiko
    Excuse me.
[03:50] Yoshihiko
    I want to use that machine.
[03:52] Jashin
    Oh... Sure. Go ahead.
[03:55] Jashin
    I wanna do it, but... I guess I won't.
[04:00] Yoshihiko
    I got the tsuchinoko!
[04:01] Jashin
    What?!
[04:03] Jashin
    You've gone and done it now!
[04:05] Yoshihiko
    Now I've got the whole set!
[04:06] Jashin
    I tried all those times for the tsuchinoko,
    and he gets it just like that?!
[04:12] Jashin
    Ah, I want it so bad!
[04:14] Jashin
    Not having the tsuchinoko
    makes it look even more alluring!
[04:19] Jashin
    Okay, I'll just kill him!
[04:21] Jashin
    That tsuchinoko's so valuable, I'll kill
    him if that's what it takes to steal it!
[04:25] Jashin
    No, wait. Maybe I should use a more
    intelligent method to steal it?
[04:30] Jashin
    As a high-ranking devil of superior
    intelligence, I am a brilliant strategist.
[04:35] Jashin
    Oh, wow!
[04:37] Jashin
    It's the rare tsuchinoko!
[04:40] Jashin
    Can I please see it for just a second?
[04:43] Yoshihiko
    Sure. Here.
[04:53] Jashin
    Okay, here you go.
[04:55] Yoshihiko
    What the hell did you
    do that for, you snake?!
[04:58] Yoshihiko
    That's disgusting, damn it!
[05:05] Yoshihiko
    This woman is total scum!
[05:06] Yoshihiko
    I don't want that stupid
    thing anymore, you moron!
[05:14] Jashin
    "Total scum" is a compliment
    to us devils, little boy.
[05:19] Jashin
    My plan was a success!
    The tsuchinoko is mine! Yay! Yay!
[05:24] Jashin
    Now to buy those groceries and go home.
[05:26] Jashin
    La, la, la, la, la!
SIGN    Meat Pavilion Yukio
SIGN    Meat Pavilion Yukio
SIGN    Meat Pavilion Yukio
SIGN    Meat Pavilion Yukio
SIGN    Meat Pavilion Yukio
[05:33] Jashin
    I got great meat for a great price.
[05:36] Jashin
    And I got my tsuchinoko! What a happy day!
[05:41] (Flashback) Yoshihiko
    This woman is total scum!
[05:44] Jashin
    Huh?
[05:49] Jashin
    But now that the moment's passed,
    was it worth stealing?
[05:53] Jashin
    And now, every time I see it, I'll remember
    being slugged and insulted by that kid.
[06:01] Jashin
    I'll put it somewhere out
    of sight when I get home.
[06:06] Mei
    Hey! You there!
[06:08] Mei
    I'm talking to you, snake! Stop right there!
[06:19] Yurine
    I don't know this number.
[06:21] Yurine
    Yes?
[06:21] Mei
    Is this Hanazono Yurine-san?
[06:24] Yurine
    Yes.
[06:24] Mei
    This is the Banzaibashi Police Department.
[06:27] Yurine
    The police?
[06:28] Mei
    Hey, stop!
[06:29] Jashin
    Yurine!
[06:31] Jashin
    The police took me in!
[06:34] Yurine
    Huh?
SIGN    Banzaibashi Police Department
SIGN    Banzaibashi Police Department
SIGN    Banzaibashi Police Department
SIGN    Banzaibashi Police Department
[06:46] Jashin
    I got arrested.
[06:49] Yurine
    What kind of idiot...
[06:51] Yurine
    giggles like that...
[06:52] Yurine
    over being arrested?!
[07:00] Jashin
    I took two uppercuts in one day.
[07:04] Jashin
    Hitting first before listening will
    make you a bad parent in the future!
[07:07] Yurine
    I'm not going to be a parent.
[07:12] Mei
    Are you her guardian, Hanazono Yurine-san?
[07:16] Yurine
    Y-Yes, that's me. I don't know if
    I'd call myself her guardian, though.
[07:20] Yurine
    And you are?
[07:21] Mei
    I'm the supercop of the Banzaibashi Police
    Department and protector of Akihabara:
[07:30] Mei
    Tachibana Mei!
[07:34] Yurine
    I see.
[07:35] Jashin
    She's standing like Vega.
[07:37] Yurine
    So what did Jashin-chan do?
[07:41] Mei
    Theft.
[07:43] Yurine
    You finally went and did it, huh?
[07:45] Jashin
    You've got it all wrong!
    I didn't steal it! That kid...
[07:49] (Flashback) Yoshihiko
    I don't want that stupid
    thing anymore, you moron!
[07:52] Jashin
    ...he said.
[07:53] Mei
    What are you talking about?
[07:54] Jashin
    Huh? That's not what you meant?
[07:58] Mei
    What she stole was...
[08:01] Yurine/Jashin
    Was...?
[08:06] Mei
    My heart!
[08:07] Mei
    My heart!
[08:08] Mei
    My heart!
[08:10] Mei
    My heart!
[08:12] Yurine/Jashin
    Huh?
[08:14] Mei
    I saw her while on patrol, and her form was
    so lovely and cute, it was love at first sight!
[08:19] Mei
    So I called out to her and arrested her!
[08:24] Mei
    Ah, she's so cute!
[08:25] Mei
    And so beautiful!
[08:27] Jashin
    C-Cut it out!
[08:29] Jashin
    Arresting me for a reason
    like that is an abuse of power!
[08:32] Mei
    She's unbelievably cute!
[08:33] Jashin
    Stop it!
[08:34] Yurine
    Yikes.
[08:34] Jashin
    Stop! Stop! Stop!
[08:35] Mei
    Anyway, to get to the point, Yurine-san...
[08:37] Yurine
    Yes?
[08:38] Mei
    May I have her?
[08:40] Yurine
    Sure.
[08:41] Jashin
    No hesitation at all?!
[08:43] Mei
    Yay! Isn't this great, Orochimaru?!
[08:46] Jashin
    She even gave me a name...
[08:52] Mei
    You really are adorable, Orochimaru.
[08:55] Mei
    So cute, it's making me cry.
[08:57] Jashin
    This chick is dangerous!
    I don't wanna live with her!
[09:00] Yurine
    Oh, but if Jashin-chan isn't around, cleaning
     and prepping meals will be more work for me.
[09:06] Yurine
    I'm sorry. I'll take her home after all.
[09:08] Mei
    What? No!
[09:09] Mei
    You said I could have her,
    but you're taking that back?! Rude!
[09:12] Mei
    If I can't have Orochimaru...
[09:17] Mei
    Then she can die.
[09:18] Jashin
    You're kidding!
[09:22] Mei
    Aw, I missed.
[09:25] Jashin
    You grazed my tail!
[09:27] Mei
    I'm sorry I missed, Orochimaru.
    The blade was sharpened, but...
[09:30] Mei
    Does it hurt?
[09:35] Mei
    She looks so cute when she's suffering!
[09:40] Mei
    Okay, let's take a commemorative
    photo before I finish you off.
[09:46] Mei
    Come on, make a peace sign.
    Try to look like you're having fun.
[09:49] Jashin
    I-I can't... Please spare me...
[09:53] Mei
    So cute!
[09:54] Mei
    So Instagrammable!
[09:56] Mei
    Perfect! I can't stop!
[09:57] Yurine
    I don't want to watch this farce.
     I want to go home.
[10:02] Mei
    Oh! It's five!
[10:03] Mei
    The work day's over! I gotta get home!
[10:07] Mei
    I refuse to work overtime!
[10:10] Mei
    I put the meat Orochimaru
    bought in the office fridge.
[10:15] Mei
    Don't forget to take it with you.
[10:17] Mei
    Bye!
[10:19] Mei
    I know we'll meet again.
[10:23] Yurine
    If she thinks you're cute, 
    she's pretty twisted.
[10:27] Jashin
    She's crazy enough to give
    Yurine a run for her money.
[10:31] Yurine
    By the way, what was that you
    were saying about a kid earlier?
[10:35] Jashin
    Huh? N-Nothing at all!
[10:37] Yurine
    Stare...
[10:40] Jashin
    I'd better lock up that tsuchinoko
    as soon as I get home.
SIGN    Jinbocho
SIGN    Jinbocho
SIGN    Jinbocho
SIGN    Tropes
SIGN    Tropes
SIGN    Tropes
SIGN    Tropes
[10:44] Medusa
    Jinbocho Tropes!
SIGN    Photo
    books
SIGN    Foreign
SIGN    Jinbocho Station
[11:01] Jashin
    No, no! I meant to go
    into the subway station!
[11:05] Jashin
    I wasn't watching where I was going,
    so I went in the wrong door!
[11:10] Jashin
    Don't look at your phone while walking.
[11:18] Minos
    Hey, that was a nice howl, Beth.
[11:22] Minos
    Okay!
SIGN    Mother said the air in the  human realm was unclean, but...
SIGN    Yeah. It feels nice.
[12:00] Yurine
    What is it?
[12:01] Jashin
    Please die.
[12:03] Yurine
    No.
[12:06] Jashin
    I should've known!
[12:08] Jashin
    Since I can't kill you, I thought
    maybe you'd die if I just asked nicely!
[12:12] Yurine
    Why would you even
    consider that a possibility?
[12:15] Jashin
    Pout...
[12:17] Yurine
    I'm taking my bath. Take yours once I'm out.
[12:21] Jashin
    Fine.
[12:27] Jashin
    Did you think there'd be a fan service scene?
[12:31] Jashin
    Oh, I'll give you fan service.
[12:36] DevilA
    With the tsuchinoko!
[12:42] DevilA
    Hey, this isn't bad...
SIGN    Ja
[12:44] Jashin
    Boo. It didn't work.
[12:47] Jashin
    I asked nicely and even bowed
    my head. Why can't she just die?
[12:52] Jashin
    She's so stingy.
[12:54] Jashin
    But I guess that'd be too easy.
[12:57] TV
    Aren't the mountains lovely?
[12:59] TV
    You should all try getting away for a
    while to set your mind and body free!
[13:04] Jashin
    What a stupid thing to say.
SIGN    Ja
[13:07] Jashin
    What's the point in going up when
    you have to come back down again?
[13:11] Jashin
    Just because there's a mountain there?
[13:14] Jashin
    It makes no sense.
[13:16] Jashin
    Actually, in suspense dramas,
    a lot of murders tend to take place...
[13:22] Jashin
    in the mountains!
[13:24] Edward
    Yes!
SIGN    I'm going to kill you!
SIGN    Don't!!
[13:26] Macaulay
    No! No!
SIGN    I'm sorry I stole your wife!
[13:30] Edward
    Yes!
SIGN    Too late!!
SIGN    Save your regrets for when you're in Hell!!
[13:32] Edward
    Yes!
[13:34] Macaulay
    No! No!
SIGN    It wasn't your wife I wanted!
SIGN    It was you I—
SIGN    Me, too...
[13:38] Edward
    Yes! Yes!
SIGN    I loved you, too!!
[13:44] Jashin
    Which means there are plenty of spots in
    the mountains that are perfect for murder.
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
SIGN    Murder
[13:51] Jashin
    If I invite Yurine to go to the mountains...
[13:54] Jashin
    I'll have nothing but chances to kill her!
[13:57] Jashin
    This time, it's the end for Yurine!
[14:01] Jashin
    Now that's settled,
    I need to visualize how I'll do it.
[14:07] Jashin
    Look, Yurine! The view is magnificent!
[14:13] Yurine
    Wow, it really is nice.
[14:15] Yurine
    Yoo-hoo!
[14:19] Jashin
    Yoo-hoo!
[14:28] Jashin
    And she's dead.
SIGN    Grin...
[14:30] Jashin
    I finally get to make the "dropkick"
    in the series title actually happen!
[14:36] Jashin
    And here's another possible situation...
[14:39] Yurine
    This rope bridge is really unsteady...
[14:43] Yurine
    Jashin-chan, help... me...
[14:51] Yurine
    S-Stop...
[14:57] Jashin
    And she's dead!
[14:59] Jashin
    I could even do it this way...
[15:06] Yurine
    Jashin-chan, it's a bear!
[15:08] Yurine
    What do we do? We have to play dead!
[15:11] Jashin
    Now!
[15:12] Bear
    Let's do it.
[15:13] Jashin/Bear
    Cross...
[15:15] Jashin/Bear
    Bear!
[15:21] Jashin
    A collaborative effort
    between me and the bear!
[15:25] Jashin
    Oh, yeah! I've definitely won this time!
[15:30] Jashin
    I'm so excited, I think I might pee myself!
[15:34] Yurine
    Ah, that was a nice bath.
[15:36] Jashin
    Oh, Yurine.
[15:37] Jashin
    Do you have any plans tomorrow?
[15:39] Yurine
    No, why?
[15:41] Jashin
    Then let's go climb a mountain together!
[15:45] Yurine
    No.
[15:50] Jashin
    Okay.
[15:55] Minos
    You know, a lot of the stuff in this anime
    happens here in Yurine-chan's apartment.
[16:01] Jashin
    Yeah. They can just reuse
    the same set that way.
[16:04] Minos
    Why don't we go to my place for a change?
[16:08] Minos
    How's this?
[16:09] Jashin
    It's the same layout,
    so there's not much difference.
[16:12] Minos
    Oh, right.
[16:13] Minos
    Guess I should make some
    bigger changes, then.
[16:18] Minos
    How's this?
[16:18] Jashin
    You changed it too much!
SIGN    Kanda
SIGN    Suzuran
SIGN    Street
[16:32] Medusa
    Jashin-chan?
[16:34] Medusa
    Okay, got it. I'll be right there.
[16:37] Medusa
    Yep.
[16:40] Medusa
    Oh, yeah. I should buy
    something to take as a gift.
[16:44] Staff
    Thank you very much.
[16:47] Medusa
    I hope Jashin-chan will like these.
[16:50] Medusa
    Oh, I need to withdraw her money, too.
[17:02] Medusa
    Hi there!
[17:07] Medusa
    Jashin-chan? I'm here.
[17:11] Medusa
    I bought some Fresh Moon for you.
[17:15] Medusa
    And since it's the end of the month,
     I stopped by the bank.
[17:22] Medusa
    Jashin-chan?
[17:25] Medusa
    What's wrong, Jashin-cha—
[17:39] Medusa
    What... is this?
[17:43] Medusa
    Why?
[17:45] Medusa
    Jashin-chan... is dead...
[17:50] Medusa
    Okay, got it. I'll be right there.
[17:51] Medusa
    When she called me while
    I was on Suzuran Street,
[17:55] Medusa
    she sounded so full of energy...
[18:03] Medusa
    Jashin-chan!
[18:09] Jashin
    That whole sequence of moves you just
    made, and that sequence of expressions!
[18:14] Jashin
    I was watching from inside the closet,
     and I burst out laughing!
[18:21] Jashin
    I laughed so hard, I fell out.
[18:23] Jashin
    That's the skin I just molted.
[18:25] Jashin
    Did you forget that I molt
    every few thousand years?
[18:30] Jashin
    Well, today was the day!
[18:33] Jashin
    That's why I came up with this
    little prank and called you over.
[18:38] Jashin
    Did you really think I was dead?
[18:40] Jashin
    No way in Hell!
[18:44] Jashin
    Huh? What's wrong?
[18:49] Medusa
    Did you really think that would be funny?
[18:53] Jashin
    Huh?
[18:54] Medusa
    This goes beyond the bounds of a prank.
[18:58] Medusa
    Do you not realize how sad
    I would be if you really died?
[19:04] Jashin
    U-Uh-oh! It's...
[19:09] Jashin
    Polite Medusa!
[19:14] DevilA
    Let me explain!
[19:16] DevilA
    When Medusa's anger hits max,
     she enters an excessively polite mode.
[19:19] Jashin
    Medusa only hits this level of fury
    once every few thousand years.
[19:25] Jashin
    My molting and Medusa's polite mode...
[19:28] Jashin
    Two ultra-rare events that only
    occur once every several millennia!
[19:33] Jashin
    It's like Obon and New Year's
    happening at the same time!
[19:38] Medusa
    I'll be going now. I won't be visiting
    the human realm again for a while.
[19:44] Jashin
    This is serious.
[19:47] (Flashback) Medusa
    I don't care what happens to you anymore!
    I'm never coming back to the human realm!
[19:52] Jashin
    This isn't like last time. She's serious!
[19:56] Jashin
    Please...
[19:57] Jashin
    Please don't go, Medusa!
[19:59] Jashin
    You know I have neurotic
    gastritis, don't you?!
[20:03] Jashin
    If you leave right now, I'll worry so
    much that I'll get holes in my stomach,
[20:08] Jashin
    and then I might die for real!
[20:14] Jashin
    W-Well, I guess I might have 
    taken my joke a little too far.
[20:21] Jashin
    Ha, ha, ha, and ha...
[20:30] Jashin
    I'm sorry.
[20:33] Jashin
    I didn't think you would get so angry.
[20:36] Medusa
    I can't! I'm leaving!
[20:39] Jashin
    No... Wait!
[20:41] Jashin
    Forgive me, Medusa!
    I'll get holes in my stomach!
[20:54] Jashin
    Medusa... Medusa!
[21:00] Jashin
    M-My stomach... hurts...
[21:06] Medusa
    Just kidding! Got you back!
[21:09] Medusa
    I won't leave.
[21:14] Jashin
    Medusa!
[21:18] Jashin
    You took that joke too far!
[21:22] Medusa
    Don't ever play a prank like that again.
[21:24] Jashin
    Okay... Okay! I won't!
[21:27] Jashin
    I promise I won't!
[21:29] Medusa
    There, there.
[21:36] Yurine
    I'm home.
[21:38] Jashin/Medusa
    Welcome home!
[21:40] Jashin
    Fresh Moon is so yummy!
[21:42] Jashin
    The mellow flavor goes great with coffee.
[21:45] Medusa
    They're great with green tea, too.
     Want some more?
[21:50] Jashin
    Yep!
[21:51] Medusa
    I'll take off the wrapper.
[21:53] Jashin
    Thanks!
[21:55] Yurine
    These two are as chummy as ever, I see.
[21:57] Medusa
    Here you go!
[22:00] Jashin
    Yum!
[22:02] Medusa
    Like it?
[22:03] Jashin
    I love it!
SIGN    Fresh
    Moon
SIGN    Fresh
    Roman
[22:05] Medusa
    Oh, you've got some on your face.
[22:07] Jashin
    Wipe it off for me.
[23:40] Jashin
    Screams and madness
    eat away at people's hearts.
[23:43] Jashin
    When justice goes berserk,
    the town is drenched in devil blood,
[23:47] Jashin
    and the angel is left in despair.
[23:49] Jashin
    Dropkick on My Devil returns next time 
    with a suicide dive to your heart!