E6 - As usual, Alvin and Carla have to overcome a series of crises...
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Alvin
Monsters threaten human life.
[00:05] Alvin
They are opposed by brave adventurers!
[00:10] Alvin
And I, Alvin, am one of them!
[00:15] Alvin
Now in a party with Carla, the healer,
[00:18] Alvin
my journey continues!
SIGN Don't Hurt Me,
SIGN Don't Hurt Me,
SIGN My Healer!
SIGN As usual, Alvin and Carla have to overcome a series of crises...
SIGN What a nice old lady.
SIGN She gave us so many medicinal herbs and provisions!
SIGN Such generosity.
[02:01] Alvin
Yeah, thanks to her, our guild
quest is as good as complete.
[02:05] Alvin
But it was pretty dicey, at first.
[02:08] Alvin
She was so mad about all we did to her...
[02:11] (Flashback) Carla
Fire safety first!
[02:13] (Flashback) Carla
Blast!
[02:15] Carla
Why did you have to make that
old lady so angry, Alvin-san?
[02:19] Carla
Honestly, a grown man...
[02:21] Alvin
You're the main one she was mad at!
[02:23] Alvin
But then your spell turned her young again,
[02:27] Alvin
and made her so happy she cried.
[02:30] (Flashback) Witch
I can't thank you enough, Carla-sama!
SIGN Carla-sama
[02:32] Alvin
She even put a damned
"-sama" after your name.
[02:35] Alvin
All's well that ends well, I guess.
[02:37] Alvin
Now, let's get back to the guild
and hand over the medicinal herbs.
[02:42] Alvin
By the way, Carla.
[02:43] Alvin
You're being awfully quiet.
[02:45] Alvin
Isn't that a sign of the apocalypse?
[02:47] Carla
Hush!
SIGN What's up, Big Sis Carla?
[02:51] Alvin
Oh, heck. Am I right about
that apocalypse thing?
[02:54] Thief
Okay, guys, nobody move!
[02:56] Thief
If y-you dom wamma bie, wep astay
lom the staggon en gibbe mer yunny!
[03:04] Alvin
What now?
[03:10] Thief
Let me try that again!
[03:12] Alvin
Sure!
[03:13] Thief
Awesome!
[03:15] Alvin
Who's that?
[03:17] Carla
I don't know.
[03:18] Carla
She seems to be some kind of a thief.
[03:21] Thief
I'm coming out!
[03:22] Alvin
Right!
[03:26] Thief
Okay, guys, nobody move!
[03:28] Thief
If you don't wanna to die,
step away from the wagon and—
[03:35] Alvin
It's okay!
[03:36] Alvin
You made it! You're good!
[03:40] Carla
Do it again! Do it again!
[03:43] Carla
Do it again!
[03:44] Alvin
Stop it!
[03:45] Alvin
Look, we got the point.
[03:47] Alvin
You want us to give you the wagon, right?
[03:50] Alvin
Is that it?
[03:51] Thief
You mean, I don't have to do it again?
[03:54] Alvin
Yeah, you're good!
[03:56] These
Does that mean you'll give me your wagon?
[03:58] Alvin
No freaking way.
[03:59] both
Stingy!
SIGN Bzzt
SIGN Bzzt
[04:00] Alvin
You bet I am!
[04:01] Alvin
You think life's all about handouts?
[04:03] Alvin
Anyway, are you supposed to be a thief?
[04:05] Alvin
You do seem to be on your own...
[04:07] Thief
I'm not alone.
[04:08] Thief
I'm the oldest of four sisters!
[04:10] Alvin
That's not what I meant.
SIGN Okay, listen up!
[04:15] Alvin
What is it now?
SIGN You're not supposed to just burst out and shout!
SIGN Everyone knows a thief is supposed to lie in wait and mount an ambush!
SIGN And if you've got sisters, you should bring some of them to help out!
[04:27] Thief
Actually, they're still too little...
[04:30] Alvin
A monster, lecturing a human
on how to ambush travelers...
[04:34] Carla
I just got a great idea!
[04:36] Alvin
And then the holy woman
weighs in with advice.
[04:39] Carla
When there are multiple
opponents to be ambushed,
[04:41] Carla
you should always try to
take one of them hostage!
[04:43] Thief
Oh!
[04:44] Carla
And in honor of the occasion,
I volunteer for the role!
[04:48] Thief
Wow, really? That's so nice.
[04:50] Thief
But do you think that warrior
is going to play along?
[04:53] Carla
It's okay.
[04:55] Carla
If there's one thing he's good
at, it's reading the mood.
[04:58] Thief
Okay...
[05:00] Thief
Is this good? Not too tight?
[05:02] Carla
It's just fine.
[05:04] Carla
Now, try threatening me to Alvin-san.
[05:07] Thief
Hey, hey, hey! Nobody move!
[05:09] Alvin
Drat! When did you...
[05:14] Thief
If you value her life...
[05:18] Carla
Whisper, whisper, whisper.
[05:19] Thief
Show me your best one-shot gag!
[05:22] Alvin
That's a hell of a hostage demand!
[05:25] Carla
Have faith in yourself, Alvin-san!
[05:26] Carla
Everything you do is funny!
[05:28] Alvin
What's that supposed to mean?!
[05:30] Alvin
I refuse to do this!
[05:35] Alvin
Hey... hang on, now!
[05:36] Alvin
Why are you sitting?
I said, I'm not doing this!
[05:42] Alvin
Hey, cut it out!
[05:43] Alvin
Don't go into spectator mode!
[05:51] Both
Alvin! Alvin!
[05:55] Both
Alvin!
[05:55] Alvin
Stop pushing me!
[05:57] Both
Alvin! Alvin!
[06:01] Both
Alvin! Alvin!
[06:04] Both
Alvin!
[06:06] Carla
Loser!
[06:07] Alvin
Darn it! Just close your
eyes and wait a minute!
[06:11] Alvin
Don't open those eyes until I say so!
[06:13] Alvin
And being a loser has
nothing to do with this!
SIGN He's doing it.
[06:17] Alvin
My best one-shot gag...
[06:25] Alvin
All right. It's ready.
[06:28] Alvin
Now...
[06:29] Alvin
Ta-da!
[06:30] Alvin
I'm a dullahan!
[06:50] Thief
I should probably head out.
[06:53] Carla
Understood.
[06:54] Carla
Just a minute.
[07:00] Carla
Here, take this.
[07:02] Thief
Are you sure?
[07:03] Carla
As an apology for that terrible joke.
[07:05] Thief
Thanks. Goodbye.
[07:08] Carla
Take care!
[07:13] Carla
Very impressive, Alvin-san!
[07:15] Carla
Was that all part of your
plan to demoralize her?
[07:20] Alvin
Yes.
[07:41] Alvin
Damn it...
[07:46] Alvin
It's no use. This golem is too powerful!
[07:49] Carla
Alvin-san!
[07:50] Alvin
Stand back, Carla!
[07:54] Alvin
I'll buy us time. You run—
[07:56] Carla
No way, no way!
[07:57] Carla
There's no way you are
buying anyone any time!
[07:59] Carla
There's no freaking way!
[08:01] Alvin
You sound a little too sure about that!
[08:02] Carla
You couldn't, even resurrected!
[08:04] Alvin
Knock it off!
[08:05] Alvin
Will you just let me
serve as the vanguard—
[08:10] Alvin
Back off, buddy! We're kind of busy here!
SIGN Take it easy, man.
[08:18] Carla
How many seconds do you expect to
buy against a golem, Alvin-san?
[08:22] Carla
Not many, I'm sure.
[08:24] Carla
You're perpetually disadvantaged.
[08:26] Alvin
That's a painfully convincing argument.
[08:29] Carla
However!
[08:32] Carla
You do have one unique advantage!
[08:35] Alvin
What, my integrity?
[08:38] Carla
Very funny.
[08:41] Carla
It's me! Yay!
[08:43] Alvin
I wish I didn't.
[08:45] Carla
With a healer like me
serving as your backup,
[08:48] Carla
this golem will fall easily!
[08:50] Alvin
Easily? Backup?
[08:53] Alvin
You're not going to use that deadly
enhancement spell, are you?
[09:00] Carla
It'll be better this time.
[09:01] Carla
I've matured a great deal since.
SIGN Yes!
[09:05] Alvin
You sure about that?
[09:07] Carla
I won't stay the same forever,
unlike someone I know.
[09:11] Alvin
Don't point at me!
[09:13] Carla
Now, now.
[09:14] Carla
Golem-san is waiting.
[09:16] Carla
I promise, I'll back you up!
[09:18] Alvin
Are you sure about this?
[09:20] Carla
I'll give you a nice funeral.
[09:21] Alvin
That's not promising!
[09:24] Alvin
If you insist.
[09:26] Carla
Good luck!
[09:28] Alvin
Hey, golem!
[09:31] Alvin
I'm a man!
I can't spend my whole life cowering!
[09:34] Carla
Go! Fight! Alvin-san!
SIGN Fight
SIGN Alvin
SIGN Alvin-san
SIGN Alvin
SIGN Alvin-san
SIGN Alvin
SIGN Alvin-san
SIGN Go! Go!
[09:35] Alvin
Let's finis—
SIGN Alvin
SIGN Alvin-san
[09:37] Carla
Go, go, Alvin! Fight, fight, Alvin!
[09:40] Carla
Let's go, Alvin!
[09:42] Carla
Fight an unwinnable battle
and learn the pecking order!
[09:46] Alvin
Oh, shut up!
[09:47] Alvin
Hey!
[09:48] Carla
Well? What do you think of my new
spell, "Cheerful Encouragement"?
[09:52] Alvin
That sounded like heckling!
[09:54] Carla
It filled you with determination, didn't it?
[09:56] Alvin
It filled me with anger!
[09:58] Alvin
Aren't you supposed to do something like...
[09:59] Alvin
raise my attack power,
[10:01] Alvin
raise my defense power,
[10:03] Alvin
or something that's actually useful?
[10:05] Carla
I see!
[10:06] Carla
Then, I'll go into town and buy you
an expensive sword and shield!
[10:09] Carla
Just a minute!
[10:10] Alvin
Not like that, damn it!
[10:11] Alvin
Damn it! That's all wrong!
[10:13] Carla
Oh, silly me!
[10:16] Carla
You have to give me money first.
[10:18] Carla
Tee-hee.
[10:19] Alvin
It's not that!
[10:21] Alvin
As a healer, you're supposed
to support me with spells!
[10:23] Carla
Actually...
[10:25] Carla
I don't think there's an enhancement spell
powerful enough
[10:28] Carla
to let you beat a golem, Alvin-san.
[10:30] Alvin
I don't even know what to say.
SIGN Is that so?
[10:32] Alvin
After all that talk about how easy you'd
make it, suddenly it's impossible?
[10:39] Carla
We have a trump card.
[10:41] Alvin
What is it now?
[10:42] Carla
I do think it would give
us the victory, but...
[10:48] Alvin
I don't know what you're so hesitant about,
SIGN Upsy-daisy!
[10:50] Alvin
but after all this, I'll do whatever it is!
[10:52] Alvin
We need to work together
to defeat that golem!
[10:56] Carla
Alvin-san...
[10:58] Carla
Very well.
[11:00] Alvin
What is it?
[11:02] Carla
We'll borrow power from
the spirits of earth!
[11:06] Alvin
That sounds really cool!
[11:10] Carla
It's important to pray to them very hard.
[11:13] Carla
Therefore, Alvin-san,
I need you to pray with me.
[11:16] Alvin
All right. I just have to pray, right?
[11:19] Carla
Now, place your hands on the ground below,
[11:21] Carla
and rest your head on the rocks.
[11:26] Carla
I'm sorry for the long wait.
[11:28] Carla
I...
[11:30] Carla
There's a favor I need to
ask you before we fight.
[11:34] Carla
Is there any way you could be convinced
to let our warrior here win?
[11:37] Carla
We're begging you!
[11:39] Alvin
She tricked me!
[11:50] Alvin
We're almost to town.
[11:53] Carla
I feel like something's been
missing for a while now.
[11:56] Alvin
He's probably off chasing butterflies again.
[12:02] Alvin
Huh?
[12:03] Alvin
It's the golem again!
[12:10] Alvin
What is it?
[12:11] Alvin
Is he trying to tell us something?
[12:14] Carla
Wh-What did you say?!
[12:16] Alvin
Hey, you can understand him?
[12:19] Alvin
So? What did he say?
[12:23] Alvin
You can't understand him?!
[12:25] Carla
Of course I can't understand him!
That's why I asked what he said!
[12:29] Alvin
That's what you say when
you can understand him!
[12:31] Alvin
You suck at this!
[12:32] Golem
Get off each other's backs
and listen to me, guys!
[12:34] Alvin
Hang on! So you can talk!
[12:37] Carla
I'm told that the longest-lived creatures
[12:40] Carla
have high intelligence and
a wealth of experience.
[12:43] Alvin
Not that line again.
[12:45] Golem
Just follow me!
[12:47] Golem
There's no time to lose!
[13:03] Alvin
So, what happened to him?
[13:06] Carla
He appears to be poisoned.
[13:09] Golem
I think he was bitten by a venomous snake.
[13:11] Alvin
Shouldn't a mushroom monster have
a degree of toxin resistance?
SIGN Unfortunately, I... I'm an edible species... of mushroom.
[13:23] Alvin
I... see.
[13:25] Carla
Are you all right?
[13:26] Carla
Do you have any last words?
SIGN Actually... couldn't you cast... an antidote spe—
[13:31] Carla
Don't speak!
[13:33] Carla
You'll make the poison spread faster!
[13:35] Carla
Please, don't say it's the end!
It's too tragic to conceive!
[13:38] Alvin
He wasn't, though!
[13:40] Carla
Sob, sob. I'm sure... sob, sob...
[13:44] Carla
we'll meet again... sob, sob, sob...
[13:46] Carla
in the next world... sob, sob, sob...
[13:49] Alvin
Don't just give up!
[13:50] Golem
I don't think I've ever heard a person
say "sob, sob, sob" out loud before.
[13:53] Carla
This is normally the part where someone
would say such things and give up.
[13:57] Carla
Fortunately, you happen to be with me!
[14:02] Alvin
Are you seeing that expression
of total despair?
[14:05] Carla
Allow me to show you...
[14:07] Carla
the holy power of a curative specialist!
[14:10] Alvin
Did you say specialist, or blacklist?
[14:12] Carla
Have you forgotten how I turned
that old lady young again?
[14:15] Alvin
I also remember your deadly
enhancement spell!
[14:18] Carla
Are you ready?!
SIGN I'm resigned to my fate.
[14:23] Alvin
He's prepared to die!
[14:27] Carla
Come, rest back on this rock.
[14:31] Carla
Now, we'll take it slow.
[14:35] Alvin
In a moment like this...
[14:37] Carla
It's going to be okay. Try to relax.
SIGN Thanks...
[14:42] Alvin
She almost looks a little
bit like a healer...
[14:44] Carla
I'll put you out of your misery very soon.
[14:48] Alvin
Never mind. Her word choice
is still pure malevolence!
[14:51] Carla
Now, with this sacred left hand...
[15:10] Alvin
What are you doing?!
[15:12] Alvin
You...
[15:13] Alvin
Why did you stick your hand into his mouth!
[15:14] Alvin
Cut it out!
[15:16] Carla
Why? This is the antidote spell.
[15:18] Alvin
It's torture!
[15:19] Carla
It's okay. I'm just trying to
get him to expel the toxin.
[15:22] Alvin
I hope he doesn't expel any organs!
[15:25] Carla
There!
[15:28] Carla
I did it! I got him to expel the poison!
[15:32] Carla
Well? How are you feeling?
SIGN I'm feeling... much better...
SIGN That's a healer! I thought I was dead for a minute there!
[15:42] Carla
Oh... no need to flatter me.
[15:45] Carla
Calling me a "goddess of healing"
is surely too far.
[15:48] Carla
You're making me blush!
[15:50] Carla
Well? Did you see that, Alvin-san?
[15:53] Carla
I looked magnificently like a healer back—
[15:59] Carla
Medic!
[16:04] Golem
It's starting to come down.
[16:06] Golem
There's a cabin nearby. Let's get him there.
[16:09] Carla
Right.
SIGN Thanks for all the help, Golem.
SIGN We couldn't have gotten Alvin here without you.
SIGN If we'd left it all up to Big Sis Carla,
SIGN it would've taken us forever.
SIGN I can't thank you enough!
[16:32] Golem
Hey, no problem.
[16:34] Golem
I'm sure you'd do the same for me.
[16:36] Golem
But I can't go in the cabin,
so I should really be going.
SIGN Right.
SIGN I'll come by to thank you pretty soon.
[16:42] Golem
Sure. See you.
SIGN See ya!
SIGN Okay, I'd better get the antidote herbs.
[16:50] Carla
Stare.
SIGN B-Big Sis?!
[16:54] Carla
How friendly you two are.
SIGN I g-guess so...
[16:57] Carla
Go fetch the wagon, won't you?
SIGN S-Sure...
[17:01] Carla
And give me my bag.
SIGN Bag?
[17:08] Alvin
What the...
[17:08] Alvin
What happened to me?
[17:10] Alvin
Right, the mushroom spat
out the poison and—
[17:19] Alvin
Where am I?
[17:23] Alvin
It looks abandoned... but, a cabin?
[17:26] Carla
You're awake, are you?
[17:29] Alvin
Is that you, Carla?
[17:31] Carla
It appears my prayers to God were answered!
[17:34] Alvin
Evil cultist!
[17:36] Carla
Sorry, it was actually an angel.
[17:39] Carla
Isn't that nice?
[17:40] Alvin
I'm sticking with "evil cultist"!
[17:42] Alvin
And what's with that new outfit?
[17:45] Carla
Does it suit me?
[17:47] Alvin
It does. As an evil cultist.
[17:49] Carla
These are my ritual robes, worn to
ask God to make you feel better!
[17:55] Carla
Yay!
[17:57] Alvin
You look more like you're
prepared to sacrifice me!
[18:00] Alvin
What's with the mask?!
[18:02] Carla
What a rude thing to say!
[18:03] Alvin
But seriously...
[18:04] Carla
God would be offended by
a sacrifice like that.
[18:09] Carla
I'd need something nicer,
like a chicken, or a goat!
[18:10] Alvin
Now I'm offended, I think.
[18:13] Carla
I sit, sensitively.
[18:15] Alvin
What in the world?
[18:15] Carla
But how are you feeling?
[18:18] Alvin
A lot better.
[18:19] Alvin
You didn't stick your hand
in my mouth, did you?
[18:23] Carla
Actually, I was running low on power,
so I couldn't use that spell.
[18:26] Carla
I'm very sowwy.
[18:27] Alvin
I'm glad.
[18:29] Alvin
So, how did you remove the poison?
[18:32] Carla
With my prayers, as I said!
[18:36] Alvin
I guess it must not have
been very potent poison.
[18:41] Carla
Your face does still look a little bad.
[18:43] Alvin
I think you mean my complexion.
[18:45] Carla
Is that how it goes?
[18:46] Alvin
Yes! It is!
[18:49] Carla
Hold out your forehead!
[18:51] Alvin
Stop that! I'm fine!
[18:54] Alvin
I've never had my temperature
checked with an iron claw before.
[18:58] Carla
You do still appear to
have a bit of body heat.
[19:01] Alvin
I'd be dead if I didn't!
[19:03] Carla
You should probably lie down.
[19:05] Carla
Let's cool you off.
[19:13] Carla
There!
[19:14] Alvin
Wring it first!
[19:15] Carla
S-Sorry!
[19:19] Alvin
Not on my head!
[19:21] Carla
Look at you, dripping with charm!
[19:23] Alvin
Now's no time for flattery!
[19:26] Alvin
Forgot it! Just leave me alone!
[19:28] Carla
Wait a minute!
[19:29] Carla
Oh, I know.
[19:30] Carla
Are you hungry, Alvin-san?
[19:34] Alvin
Actually, I haven't eaten
anything for a while.
[19:36] Alvin
I guess I am a little hungry.
[19:38] Carla
I thought you'd say that.
[19:40] Carla
So I got a little something ready!
[19:42] Sign
Eat delicious!
Medicinal Herbs Cooking
[19:42] Carla
This book contains a number of
recipes based on medicinal herbs.
[19:47] Alvin
Well.
[19:49] Alvin
Let me see!
[19:51] Carla
They're recipes that not only use
the properties of medicinal herbs,
[19:55] Carla
but are also very tasty!
[19:58] Alvin
So? What did you make?
[20:03] Carla
"Make"?
[20:05] Carla
I didn't even consider that.
[20:08] Alvin
You need more imagination.
[20:12] Carla
I'm sorry.
[20:13] Carla
I'm scatterbrained, clumsy,
and inconsiderate.
[20:18] Carla
I'm sorry.
[20:19] Alvin
H-Hey...
[20:20] Alvin
You don't have to be that depressed about it...
[20:22] Carla
I'm sorry that I'm so cute about it!
[20:27] Alvin
Don't get optimistically depressed!
[20:30] Alvin
Sheesh.
[20:31] Alvin
Fine, don't do anything.
[20:33] Alvin
Just give me some peace and quiet.
SIGN S
a
d
.
.
.
[20:36] Carla
Okay.
[20:37] Alvin
And...
[20:42] Alvin
Well... you know.
[20:45] Alvin
You've tried to do a lot for me.
[20:48] Alvin
And I appreciate... the sentiment, at least.
[20:52] Alvin
Just the sentiment, okay?
[21:00] Carla
I-It doesn't seem appropriate to
say that while you're resting.
[21:05] Alvin
Yeah, yeah.
[21:07] Alvin
Good night.
[21:09] Carla
Good night.
SIGN Big Sis Carla! I brought the antidote herbs.
SIGN We can use these to get Alvin feeling—
SIGN Oh, shucks.
SIGN Looks like he's doing just fine.
SIGN Next Time
[23:25] Alvin
Next episode's title is...
[23:27] Alvin
Can't we just stop abusing
ourselves on this?
[23:30] Carla
Yeah, it's not possible to
do it in fifteen seconds.
[23:32] Carla
It seems pretty stupid.
SIGN Agreed.
[23:34] Alvin
Oh, it's from the higher-ups.
SIGN See you then!
SIGN "This show is fairly unique in that Carla is the only recurring female
character although in episode 5 we did get the witch and then the
thief character but the witch only gets a few seconds at the
end in her young form and the thief girl doesn't get any more
screen time after this so I suspect the folks at home are wondering
if we're ever going to see any new female characters and so partly
for you people this episode features a female character called
Maria Deathflame but to set up for that we have to do a zombie
story so I hope you'll enjoy that first and of course Maria has her
own idiosyncrasies so you'll just have to wait to see if it meets
your expectations and that's the deal with episode 7."
[23:37] Alvin
"We're never letting you
people do the preview—"