E4 - Kids Are Kids and Parents Are Parents (but Also Human Beings), and It Takes All Kinds, but They Get Through It Together, Right?

Source: Crunchyroll
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(This is incomplete since the names are blank on the source file. Feel free to edit them in. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    Hey, it's been a while! It's me, your mom!
[00:04] ---
    Hey! What are you doing here?
[00:05] ---
    You and Dad got divorced,
    so what are you doing here?
[00:08] ---
    We're going to play this.
[00:13] ---
    No way in hell
    am I playing a game with you!
[00:16] ---
    By the way, we can't leave the game
    unless we become close.
[00:20] ---
    Now, let's have a fun adventure together, Genya!
[00:22] ---
    Don't call me that!
[00:26] ---
    Mom, I'll keep them busy, so can you—
[00:29] ---
    Enemies and hot guys
    will kneel before my power!
[00:38] ---
    Hey!
[00:41] ---
    Adventurer's Guild
[00:41] ---
    - I'm done!
    - Done with what?
[00:44] ---
    It's not going well, I know,
    but I'm trying my best—
[00:47] ---
    Like hell you are!
    You're just screwing around!
[00:50] ---
    I've had enough!
[01:01] ---
    Was I asleep? Why?
[01:04] ---
    You fell asleep because of Ms. Mama's lap!
[01:06] ---
    You don't have to say it like a famous saying.
[01:09] ---
    You were all stressed out, huh?
[01:11] ---
    Well? Are you okay now?
[01:13] ---
    There's drool on your mouth, young lady.
[01:16] ---
    Can you really meet your mother again
    if you're being so lazy?
[01:20] ---
    Okay, if that's what you want...
[01:22] ---
    I can use you as an example
    of how I'm feeling.
[01:27] ---
    Bara la Magia bel mirale...
[01:31] ---
    Morte!
[01:31] ---
    Death
[01:32] ---
    You idiot! That's...
[03:11] ---
    Kids Are Kids and Parents Are Parents but Also Human Beings,
    and It Takes All Kinds, but They Get Through It Together, Right?
[03:11] ---
    A coffin appeared out of nowhere.
[03:15] ---
    Unbelievably, inside was...
[03:16] ---
    I guess we should bring her back.
[03:18] ---
    Spara la Magia pel mirale...
[03:22] ---
    Revival
[03:22] ---
    Rianimato!
[03:26] ---
    I knew that when I opened my eyes again,
[03:30] ---
    I had faith that I would see
    your smiling faces.
[03:34] ---
    But I inform you that I would've rather been revived
    after the branch impaling me was dealt with...
[03:45] ---
    Welcome back!
[03:47] ---
    I told them that the Empress is my mom.
[03:51] ---
    So now my mom and I are going to have
    a family meeting, by force, if necessary.
[03:56] ---
    Then as your guide, I, Shiraaaase, shall infoooorm you
    about some additional facts about her.
[04:05] ---
    Indeed, I shall infoooorm you.
[04:08] ---
    For my name is Shirase.
[04:10] ---
    Nothing throws you off your game, does it?
[04:12] ---
    First, the Empress of Night
    is actually Wise's mother.
[04:16] ---
    Her real name is Kazuno.
[04:19] ---
    A test player who's gone out of control
    and started pursuing her own disgusting hobbies.
[04:26] ---
    She's an embarrassment to our family!
[04:28] ---
    Like Wise, she's a sage.
[04:31] ---
    Her starting bonus was a book of spells
    that allows her to use any magic in the game.
[04:38] ---
    Wise, you had a rough time, too, huh?
[04:41] ---
    I sure did!
[04:42] ---
    There was nothing for me to do during a fight!
[04:45] ---
    I know! I know exactly what you're saying!
[04:47] ---
    Kazuno also managed to save
    an immense amount of SP,
[04:51] ---
    and learn the cast cancel skill.
[04:55] ---
    Also, she seems to have an invincible defense skill,
    which isn't part of the game.
[05:00] ---
    Do you mean a cheat?
[05:02] ---
    A cheat?
[05:03] ---
    Basically, something that's unfair
    and against the rules.
[05:07] ---
    She's likely using some kind of cheating tool
    that she acquired from the outside.
[05:12] ---
    In addition to her invincibility, she's also forcing
    the NPCs to do things they weren't designed to do.
[05:18] ---
    I knew she was up to something
    she wasn't telling me about...
[05:21] ---
    My mom is so dumb.
[05:23] ---
    Illegal actions like this are harshly penalized.
[05:27] ---
    The fine could stretch into
    the hundreds of millions of yen!
[05:31] ---
    A fine in the hundreds of millions of yen?
[05:35] ---
    This is worse than I thought,
    but we can still do something, right?
[05:40] ---
    Since you're in the game,
    why not do something within the game's rules?
[05:45] ---
    Do you mean...
[05:46] ---
    If you can bring this incident
    to a heartwarming conclusion,
[05:50] ---
    one that brings the two of you closer together,
[05:54] ---
    I can write the report in a way
    that'll look good to my superiors.
[05:58] ---
    So...
[06:02] ---
    So us three are participating
    in Wise's family's quest and clearing it.
[06:06] ---
    Is that okay, Wise?
[06:08] ---
    Of course!
[06:09] ---
    I'll do my best, too!
[06:11] ---
    That's right. It's best to resolve this with words,
    but since we're up against Wise's mother...
[06:17] ---
    Let's have Porta get
    some items ready, just in case.
[06:20] ---
    Right!
[06:21] ---
    And Mom...
[06:22] ---
    It feels kind of inappropriate
    to get involved in another family's issues...
[06:28] ---
    But I think it's time to get nosy!
[06:31] ---
    With Mommy's maximum firepower!
[06:33] ---
    This is a heartwarming scene,
    so I won't say anything.
[06:37] ---
    So that's our plan, Shirase.
[06:39] ---
    Understood.
[06:40] ---
    Then, using the forbidden power
    hidden with me,
[06:44] ---
    I will guide you to the Empress.
[06:48] ---
    The operations team has just informed me
    that she's currently opened another window
[06:53] ---
    and is illegally rewriting the system.
[06:56] ---
    which leaves me with but one choice...
[07:00] ---
    Activating special authority!
[07:01] ---
    Unbelievably powerful ultimate magic!
[07:03] ---
    BA-N-HAM-MER!
[07:03] ---
    Admin Intervention
[07:07] ---
    What a terrifying ultimate spell!
[07:16] ---
    Oh my!
[07:18] ---
    Here she comes!
[07:23] ---
    Well, hello there.
[07:26] ---
    What the hell is wrong with her?
[07:29] ---
    C-Calm down, Wise!
[07:30] ---
    I don't want that to be my mom!
[07:33] ---
    You're always such an annoyance.
[07:37] ---
    Hey, let's talk first!
[07:39] ---
    Furulso di Lava!
[07:47] ---
    So she doesn't even want to talk, huh?
[07:49] ---
    If that's how it's going to be...
[07:51] ---
    Spara la Magia bel mirale...
[07:54] ---
    Blizzard
[07:54] ---
    Viento nieve!
[07:55] ---
    Also, Gyattsuo Gulmo!
[07:56] ---
    Glacier
[08:13] ---
    Oh my. Then...
[08:18] ---
    She's controlling the in-game objects?
[08:21] ---
    Damn! Not good if we're in
    the middle of a forest!
[08:26] ---
    Leave it to Mommy!
[08:28] ---
    No matter how many there are,
    I can attack them all!
[08:31] ---
    I'm so glad you have multi-target attacks!
[08:37] ---
    Porta, stay close to Mom!
[08:39] ---
    O-Okay!
[08:40] ---
    Shirase, you...
[08:42] ---
    Huh?
[08:44] ---
    I'll revive her when I can!
[08:52] ---
    Mom! Porta!
[08:55] ---
    I can't destroy it? Why?
[08:57] ---
    Too bad!
[08:59] ---
    They were destructible until now,
    but it looks like the bug was patched!
[09:03] ---
    They won't be getting out!
[09:09] ---
    What?
[09:10] ---
    Hey, Mom! What is all this stuff?
[09:14] ---
    No idea.
[09:16] ---
    There was a present in my item storage
    with no sender name on it,
[09:20] ---
    so I opened it and this room appeared.
[09:23] ---
    You've come this far, so don't play dumb!
[09:25] ---
    It's the truth, though.
[09:27] ---
    I also know that
    any wish I make here comes true.
[09:33] ---
    Wh-What the hell?
    That doesn't make sense.
[09:36] ---
    Does that mean this room is
    the cheating tool that the Empress is using?
[09:41] ---
    In other words, we're inside a program?
[09:44] ---
    Come forth!
[09:45] ---
    Cornelio! Orecchio! Tifone!
[09:50] ---
    I got them in this room, too!
[09:53] ---
    With this room, I can rule over this world,
    as well as the real world!
[10:00] ---
    What is she talking about?
    She's nuts!
[10:03] ---
    I asked, just to try, and I received
    an answer that it was possible!
[10:07] ---
    For example, if I wished for a country's
    top-secret documents and got them,
[10:13] ---
    how much do you think they'd pay
    to get them back?
[10:17] ---
    That's going too far!
[10:19] ---
    Knock this off!
[10:21] ---
    Knock it off?
[10:23] ---
    That's my line!
[10:25] ---
    You know, I seriously hoped
    we could use this game to fix things between us.
[10:30] ---
    But then you...
[10:33] ---
    I did what?
[10:34] ---
    You don't remember what you did?
[10:40] ---
    That was...
[10:43] ---
    Wise...
[10:44] ---
    Sure, maybe a few things I said
    were a bit too much, but...
[10:48] ---
    I never should've had a child.
[10:53] ---
    Children are the worst.
[10:55] ---
    They're selfish, always causing problems,
[10:57] ---
    and all they do is rob their parent's
    peace and freedom.
[11:01] ---
    - Wait...
    - So you know, Genya...
[11:03] ---
    Wait! Wait, mom! I apologize!
[11:06] ---
    So let's give it another try—
[11:07] ---
    No, I'm done. I don't need you!
[11:13] ---
    Wise!
[11:24] ---
    Hey, why are you being like this?
    And you call yourself a mother?
[11:29] ---
    You're just like her, aren't you?
[11:32] ---
    You don't respect your parents.
[11:33] ---
    You just say and do whatever you want.
[11:37] ---
    I admit it. I'm the same.
[11:40] ---
    All kids are like that.
[11:42] ---
    But my mom never said the things you did.
[11:48] ---
    I'm aware I'm selfish.
[11:51] ---
    But that's what kids are like.
[11:55] ---
    In my head, I know I don't mean them,
[11:57] ---
    but the words just come out on their own.
[12:00] ---
    And I can't control them.
[12:03] ---
    So would you please forgive her?
[12:06] ---
    Forgive your child!
[12:09] ---
    I know she didn't mean everything she said.
[12:12] ---
    So please, don't abandon your child.
[12:18] ---
    Did you really think it'd be that easy?
[12:22] ---
    Of course it wouldn't be.
[12:24] ---
    Lusche de la Danatione!
[12:32] ---
    This is a hammer of rage!
[12:34] ---
    All mothers are angry!
[12:36] ---
    A kid is just a ball and chain!
    A thing to take away your freedom!
[12:41] ---
    That's all!
[12:45] ---
    This is the end for you!
[12:48] ---
    Begone, meddlesome kids!
[12:52] ---
    Wh-What?
[13:08] ---
    Mom?
[13:11] ---
    I've never forgotten for an instant
    the moment my child was born.
[13:18] ---
    The moment I realized
    that I was truly willing to die for him.
[13:24] ---
    The day he first smiled.
[13:28] ---
    The day he first called me "Mommy."
[13:31] ---
    I could never forget...
[13:34] ---
    Because I'm a mother.
[13:40] ---
    How could anybody forget that joy?
[13:45] ---
    How could anyone not want the bond
    between a mother and child,
[13:49] ---
    the irreplaceable connection
    that only they have?
[13:56] ---
    I can't understand it.
[13:58] ---
    I even feel angry at it.
[14:01] ---
    And sad, too.
[14:04] ---
    But I believe...
[14:07] ---
    That if you're a mother, you'll remember, right?
[14:12] ---
    No, I'll make you remember.
[14:15] ---
    For the sake of your child, Wise,
    I'll do whatever it takes!
[14:18] ---
    I appreciate the offer, but I'll pass.
[14:21] ---
    I'm the only one necessary in this world.
[14:24] ---
    For I have the power
    to make everything go my way!
[14:29] ---
    Then I'll destroy the strength you're so proud of
    with the power that you've ignored.
[14:36] ---
    Then you'll realize, won't you?
[14:39] ---
    You think you can?
[14:41] ---
    Of course I can!
[14:43] ---
    I have a son that I'm very proud of!
[14:46] ---
    Right, Ma-kun?
[14:47] ---
    Mom...
[14:53] ---
    I'm sorry for always so selfish.
[14:57] ---
    And...
[14:59] ---
    Thank you!
[15:02] ---
    I'm glad you're my mother.
[15:05] ---
    Yes. You're welcome!
[15:08] ---
    It's like something out of a bad family movie.
[15:12] ---
    Ma-kun, Mommy will do her best!
[15:17] ---
    Bariela!
[15:21] ---
    She hurt me?
[15:23] ---
    I'm not done yet!
[15:27] ---
    What? Don't you think you get
    a few too many attacks?
[15:31] ---
    You're insane!
[15:33] ---
    My mom's really amazing, after all.
    She's so strong!
[15:38] ---
    But I have this!
[15:40] ---
    That veil looks like some kind of defense magic.
[15:45] ---
    - Which means...
    - Masato, use this!
[15:48] ---
    Alright! Good job, Porta!
[15:55] ---
    Wh-What?
[15:57] ---
    Your face looks just like your daughter's!
[15:59] ---
    And just like Wise,
    you can't protect against magic sealing!
[16:04] ---
    - Now, Mom! Let's go!
    - Right!
[16:06] ---
    Enough of this!
[16:08] ---
    You're a mother, so you must understand!
[16:10] ---
    You know how it feels
    to have a child take over your life!
[16:13] ---
    It has to frustrate you!
[16:16] ---
    Of course, the feelings you speak of are within me.
[16:20] ---
    - Then—
    - But I think...
[16:23] ---
    What you feel when dealing
    with your children
[16:25] ---
    is a treasure that only a parent can ever have,
    that you can only make in that moment!
[16:32] ---
    What are you...
[16:33] ---
    So I'll accept everything about my child.
    I'll embrace it all!
[16:38] ---
    I won't abandon them, no matter what!
[16:40] ---
    Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
[16:42] ---
    That's just a fantasy!
    That's not how it goes in reality!
[16:45] ---
    Kids are selfish, obnoxious little brats
    who ruin your life!
[16:56] ---
    I'm not done!
[17:00] ---
    Spara la Magia pel mirale...
[17:03] ---
    Explosion
[17:03] ---
    Bomba Fiama!
[17:06] ---
    And then, Indeboleat!
[17:08] ---
    Weakening
[17:12] ---
    Genya, you...
[17:13] ---
    It's over, Mom!
[17:15] ---
    Just take the hit and calm down!
[17:18] ---
    I will not!
[17:23] ---
    Ma-kun!
[17:23] ---
    Leave any airborne enemies to me!
[17:31] ---
    Mom, finish it!
[17:34] ---
    Please remember that you're a mom, too!
[17:41] ---
    No...
[17:46] ---
    I lost?
[17:52] ---
    Genya?
[17:53] ---
    No matter what you say to me,
    I could never hate you.
[17:58] ---
    Because I'm your daughter!
[18:01] ---
    I'm sorry, mom. I want to make up with you!
[18:11] ---
    Good work, Mom.
[18:12] ---
    Yes, you too.
[18:14] ---
    U-Um, me too!
[18:19] ---
    This really is the worst!
    Knock it off already!
[18:24] ---
    Who cares? It's just a game.
    Let me have my fun.
[18:28] ---
    This is what happens
    when I let you have your fun!
[18:31] ---
    You caused problems for everybody!
[18:32] ---
    And what was that?
    Furniture made of hot guys? That's so dumb!
[18:35] ---
    Would you shut up already?
    You've always been like that!
[18:39] ---
    Ever since you popped out from between my legs
    it's just been "Blah! blah! blah!" from you!
[18:42] ---
    D-Don't talk about me popping out
    from between your legs!
[18:45] ---
    Well, you did!
[18:47] ---
    Well, we went from a heartwarming scene
    to a full-on brawl.
[18:52] ---
    They say you have to be friends to fight!
[18:55] ---
    Well, I'm going to have
    lots of questions for her after this.
[18:58] ---
    As long as they're not troubling anyone else,
    I'll allow it.
[19:03] ---
    That's one way for
    a mother and child to be, huh?
[19:07] ---
    You stupid girl!
    I'll make that flat chest even flatter!
[19:10] ---
    I'll kick your ass
    for the genes you gave me!
[19:15] ---
    Village
[19:15] ---
    And I'm not flat!
[19:18] ---
    You know, Wise...
[19:20] ---
    What?
[19:21] ---
    Why are you here?
[19:23] ---
    What kind of question is that?
[19:25] ---
    Are you trying to say I'm in the way?
[19:27] ---
    I mean if you two are close enough to fight like that,
    then you cleared the game, right?
[19:32] ---
    Kazuno already logged out, right?
[19:35] ---
    Well, yeah. But you know...
    I think I could stay here a little more.
[19:43] ---
    Why?
[19:44] ---
    Wh-Why?
[19:47] ---
    Oh my, could it be?
[19:49] ---
    Your party needs me anyway, you know!
[19:53] ---
    I'm an incredible sage!
[19:56] ---
    One whose magic gets sealed—
[19:58] ---
    I get it! I'll raise my resistance!
[20:02] ---
    Okay then.
[20:03] ---
    Let's get back to it!
[20:04] ---
    Ping-pon-pan-pong!
[20:07] ---
    Good morning, everyone.
[20:10] ---
    I inform you that it's me, Shirase,
    the girl who's always in your hearts.
[20:14] ---
    - There she is.
    - Thank you for all your help with the quest.
[20:18] ---
    Now I'm informing you that I'd like you
    to do something else for me.
[20:23] ---
    Another quest?
[20:25] ---
    To tell the truth, I'm hoping
    to have you deal with all the problems
[20:30] ---
    that the GM's can't by calling them all "quests."
[20:34] ---
    You didn't need to inform of us
    what you were planning...
[20:37] ---
    Now, to inform you of your next destination!
[20:43] ---
    Isn't that amazing?
[20:45] ---
    Next time I'll do something amazing!
[20:47] ---
    Okay, everybody, on to our next qu—
[20:49] ---
    Let's go on to our next quest
    and have a great time!
[20:51] ---
    Mom, I wanted to say that.
[20:54] ---
    I'm the hero, and the leader.
    We clear on that?
[20:58] ---
    O-Of course. I'm sorry.
[21:01] ---
    Well, it's fine.
[21:03] ---
    Why are you crying?
[21:05] ---
    Because you're so kind...
[21:08] ---
    You're really talking to me now.
[21:11] ---
    I'm so happy!
[21:15] ---
    You don't need to cry though, right?
[21:17] ---
    Yeah, it's probably weird for Mommy
    to be crying all of a sudden, huh?
[21:22] ---
    Yeah, really...
[21:24] ---
    I don't get mothers...
[21:27] ---
    You don't need to.
[21:29] ---
    As long as you think of me
    as your mother, that's enough.
[21:33] ---
    Is that how it works?
[21:35] ---
    It is.
[21:37] ---
    Bright!
[21:39] ---
    Okay, let's go!
[21:41] ---
    Time for more adventures with Mommy!
[21:45] ---
    Ma-kun, you follow Mommy, too!
[21:48] ---
    Okay, don't get too excited, Mom.
[21:52] ---
    Question: If you went on an adventure
    with your mom, would you become closer?
[21:53] ---
    Maybe, I guess?
[21:57] ---
    I'm not sure, though.
[23:34] ---
    This is a Territory for Children, Filled With Hopes and Dreams.
    For Children. That's the Important Part!
[23:35] ---
    And tomorrow, let's happily go
    to school with your mother, okay?