Season 1
- 1 - Former Great Detective Nagumo Keiichiro / Mashiro's Pest Extermination
- 2 - With Ghosts, Go for the Knees / Find the Real Thief! / Three Minutes Until Mashiro Explodes
- 3 - Great Detective Asunaro / The Ones Who Don't Realize They're Stalkers Are the Most Dangerous
- 4 - Murder at the Mansion of Screams / Maki-chan and the Generation Gap
- 5 - Welcome to the World of Grown-ups / A Midsummer Thriller / Mashiro and the Agent from the Stars
- 6 - Mashiro Hosts Girls' Night Out / Assistant Switch!! / Battle to the Death at 100° Celsius
- 7 - Nagumo-san's Grown-up Allure / The Lost Child and Mashiro / The Great Detective vs. Phantom Thief Riverfake
- 8 - Nagumo's Cyber Case File / The Phantom Thief's Method / A Detective Assistant's Day Off
- 9 - Take Good Care of Your Smartphone / Maki-chan and Asunaro
- 10 - Catch the Sneak Photographer! / The Bullet Bride
- 11 - Mashiro and the Psychic of Love
- 12 - Nagumo Dons the Haori / Producing Nagumo Detective Agency / Nagumo Detective Agency Shuts Down
1 - Former Great Detective Nagumo Keiichiro / Mashiro's Pest Extermination
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[00:14] Mashiro
So this is the Nagumo Detective Agency.
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
SIGN Former Great Detective
Nagumo Keiichiro
[01:53] Reporter
The famous high school detective
has done it again,
[01:56] Reporter
bringing a speedy resolution to
a tough case the police couldn't handle.
[01:59] Fans
He's so hot!
[02:00] Nagumo
No pushing now.
[02:01] Fans
Shake my hand!
[02:01] Reporter
The screams just refuse to stop!
[02:03] Fans
Take me now!
[02:03] Reporter
Nagumo Keiichiro truly is a genius!
[02:06] Reporter
Nagumo-kun! How do you feel about this case?
[02:09] Nagumo
Well, I'd say...
[02:11] Nagumo
I could've used a little
more excitement, y'know?
[02:18] Nagumo
Oh. A dream.
[02:22] Nagumo
Yeah, yeah. I'm coming.
[02:24] Nagumo
Hello, Nagumo Detective Agency.
[02:29] Nagumo INT
I'm Nagumo Keiichiro, a detective so great
that everyone in the business knows me.
[02:34] Nagumo
R-Right. If you could just give me
a little more time on the rent.
[02:35] Nagumo INT
Except I haven't been known
as a "great detective" since I was a kid.
[02:38] Nagumo
I'm so sorry.
[02:40] Nagumo INT
Some people say I've lost
my skills, but I haven't.
[02:41] Nagumo
Damn landlord. One day late
with the rent and this happens.
[02:45] Nagumo
He used to be a lot more pliable.
[02:48] Nagumo
Ow, ow, ow!
[02:50] Nagumo INT
I just lost a little of my youth.
[02:50] Nagumo
Damn this chronic back pain!
[02:54] Nagumo
Shit. I've got a stakeout to get to.
[02:58] Nagumo
This is the first job I've had in ages.
I can't blow it.
[03:03] Nagumo
Get up. Get up, great detective.
[03:16] Nagumo
Oh, um...
[03:18] Nagumo
Thanks for the treat.
[03:20] Mashiro
My chastity is in danger!
[03:22] Nagumo
Watch it!
[03:22] Mashiro
You just tried to get a peep
at my underwear, didn't you?
[03:26] Nagumo
Sure, I looked, but not on purpose.
I'm down here for a good reason.
[03:30] Mashiro
Liar!
[03:31] Nagumo
Who the hell are you, anyway?
[03:33] Nagumo
If you're a prospective client,
sorry, but I'm busy.
[03:36] Mashiro
Oh! I came after seeing this.
[03:39] Nagumo
Huh?
[03:40] Mashiro
Wait, where did I put it? That's weird.
[03:45] Mashiro
Did I forget to bring it?
[03:47] Mashiro
Oh, it was just at the back of my neck.
[03:51] Nagumo
Oh.
[03:52] Nagumo
The flyer I made a long time ago
when I was shorthanded.
[03:56] Mashiro
So, uh...
[03:59] Mashiro
I'm responding to your honored,
venerable agency's request for—
[04:02] Nagumo
I'm not hiring.
[04:03] Mashiro
What?! Why not?!
[04:06] Nagumo
That should be obvious.
A teenage girl can't be a detective.
[04:10] Mashiro
Huh? But it's not like
I'm a gyaru or anything.
[04:14] Nagumo
Makeup.
[04:15] Nagumo
Cleavage on show.
[04:17] Nagumo
Short skirt.
[04:18] Nagumo
You're clearly a gyaru.
[04:19] Mashiro
Your criteria's super outdated. Gross.
[04:22] Nagumo
I'm fine with being gross.
[04:23] Mashiro
Aw, come on. This job's gotta be tough
for an old dude to do alone.
[04:27] Mashiro
You should have an assistant.
[04:32] Nagumo
Listen, little girl.
Detective work's all about patience.
[04:37] Nagumo
No faltering. No hesitating.
No getting flustered.
[04:40] Nagumo
It takes innate talent.
[04:44] Nagumo
It's not a job a tender young gyaru
like you can, uh, handle...
[04:50] Nagumo
Tender... So tender...
[04:52] Mashiro
No getting flustered!
[04:54] Nagumo
Sorry!
[04:56] Mashiro
Quit peeping at my underwear
any chance you get!
[04:58] Nagumo
I told you, I'm not.
[05:00] Mashiro
Despite how I may appear,
I practice Ryukyu karate,
[05:04] Mashiro
so if you try anything funny,
your head's gonna go flying.
[05:07] Nagumo
There's no move in Ryukyu karate
that sends heads flying.
[05:11] Nagumo
There's gotta be other
part-time work you can do.
[05:13] Nagumo
Why do you want to be
a detective's assistant?
[05:18] Mashiro
Because I'm striving to
be a detective one day.
[05:21] Nagumo
Who says that with a spear
over their shoulder?
[05:24] Mashiro
I've been working super hard
since I was little to become a detective.
[05:28] Mashiro
My storage technique is
just another result of my effort.
[05:30] Nagumo
No technique makes that possible.
[05:33] Mashiro
I promise I'll be useful, okay? So please!
[05:38] Nagumo
Seriously—
[05:39] Mashiro
Say no more!
[05:40] Mashiro
I'm an aspiring detective.
[05:43] Mashiro
I will deduce what you were about to say.
[05:46] Nagumo
Can you do that?
[05:48] Mashiro
Not to worry. I watched all of
Furuhata Ninzaburo yesterday.
[05:53] Nagumo
Is that gonna work?
[05:55] Mashiro
Hmm, I'm going to say...
[05:58] Mashiro
Since you've had less work lately,
you don't have the money to hire anyone?
[06:03] Nagumo
Whoa, it really did work!
[06:05] Mashiro
Well? Wanna hire me now?
[06:07] Nagumo
I don't have time for this.
Try somewhere else.
[06:10] Mashiro
Hey, wait!
SIGN Tamura Takako
SIGN Age 27. Office worker
SIGN Married client 2 years ago
SIGN Signs of a man
SIGN around her
SIGN for 2 weeks
SIGN Suspected of meeting
SIGN a man in
SIGN secret
SIGN at work
[06:20] Nagumo
Tamura Takako.
[06:21] Nagumo
Age 27. Office worker.
[06:23] Nagumo
Married the client two years ago.
[06:25] Nagumo
Signs of a man around her
for two weeks.
[06:28] Nagumo
Suspected of meeting
a man in secret at work.
[06:33] Nagumo
Frankly, she's looking pretty guilty to me,
but there've been no changes this week...
[06:38] Nagumo
Oh, she's on the move.
[06:46] Nagumo INT
In the opposite direction from
her office. Is she meeting a man?
[06:53] Nagumo INT
She went into a café. Okay, I'll go in, too.
[06:56] Nagumo INT
Wait.
[06:57] Nagumo INT
What kind of fancy café is this?
[07:01] Nagumo INT
An old guy like me would stick out
like a sore thumb if I went in there alone.
[07:06] Nagumo
I'll just watch from outside.
[07:09] Mashiro
Squee! What is this café? It looks so cute!
[07:15] Mashiro
Let's go in, Kei-chan.
[07:17] Nagumo
Hey! What are you—
[07:19] Mashiro
You want to go in there, right?
[07:21] Mashiro
An old dude like you would stick out
like a sore thumb if you went in there alone.
[07:25] Mashiro
I'll pretend to be your
much younger girlfriend.
[07:28] Mashiro
Let's go in, okay?
[07:29] Nagumo
Uh, okay, I guess.
[07:33] Staff
Welcome! Have you decided
what you'd like to order?
[07:37] Nagumo
Oh, uh...
[07:41] Nagumo INT
The menu's so fancy, I can't read it.
[07:43] Mashiro
Just order anything.
It doesn't matter what it is.
[07:47] Nagumo
Okay, then, one Hoppy.
[07:48] Mashiro
What even is that?!
[07:50] Nagumo
What? I can't get that?
[07:51] Mashiro
Should a detective draw attention
to himself from the get-go?
[07:54] Nagumo
But I can't read any of it.
[07:55] Mashiro
Ugh, fine. I'll order, okay? Just wait there.
[07:58] Mashiro
'Scuse me! Two venti hazelnut vanilla almond
caramel frappuccinos with an espresso shot,
[08:02] Mashiro
extra chocolate chips, and whipped cream.
[08:05] Nagumo
That's so long!
SIGN Venti Hazelnut Vanilla Almond Caramel Frappuccino with an Espresso Shot, Extra Chocolate Chips, and Whipped Cream: ~915 Calories
[08:07] Nagumo
I have severe hyperesthesia, you know.
[08:10] Mashiro
Hyper-squeeze-ya? What's that?
[08:12] Nagumo
Never mind.
[08:14] Nagumo
I get how enthusiastic you are,
[08:17] Nagumo
but there must be other detective
agencies looking for assistants.
[08:20] Mashiro
Yours is super close to my house, though.
[08:24] Nagumo
Oh, is it?
[08:26] Nagumo
You know, I've been doing
detective work for twenty years now,
[08:31] Nagumo
and it's not easy work.
[08:34] Mashiro
That's the woman you were tailing, right?
[08:36] Mashiro
Cheating?
[08:38] Nagumo
Bingo.
[08:40] Nagumo
She might be cheating on her husband,
[08:42] Nagumo
so my job is to take some photos proving it.
[08:45] Nagumo
Which is why I'm keeping my eye on her.
[08:48] Mashiro
You're making it super obvious!
[08:50] Mashiro
Are you really a pro? You'll get noticed
right away, staring like that.
[08:54] Nagumo
I can't help it!
I'm getting farsighted with age.
[08:56] Mashiro
So wear glasses!
[08:58] Mashiro
Oh, crap! She's getting suspicious!
[09:01] Mashiro
Here, Kei-chan. Open wide.
[09:04] Nagumo
M-My hyperesthesia! My hyperesthesia!
[09:07] Mashiro
Aw, there's no need to act so embarrassed.
[09:10] Mashiro
We are a couple, after all!
[09:13] Takako
Oh, a couple with an age gap.
[09:15] Mashiro
Whew. We managed to fool her.
[09:18] Nagumo
You didn't have to freak out like that.
[09:20] Nagumo
No one's gonna catch on that easily.
[09:22] Mashiro
Wrong! Your thinking's too old-fashioned.
[09:24] Mashiro
If I hadn't been here,
you'd be dead for sure.
[09:27] Nagumo
Why would I be dead?
[09:29] Mashiro
In this day and age, smartphones make it easy
to spread photos all around the world.
[09:33] Mashiro
People are more sensitive
to the eyes of strangers now.
[09:37] Nagumo
What's a "smartphone"?
[09:38] Mashiro
Oh, come on! Get it together!
[09:41] Mashiro
This is a smartphone.
[09:43] Mashiro
Don't you see people on the street with 'em?
What'd you think they are?
[09:46] Nagumo
Hand mirrors.
[09:47] Mashiro
Maybe be a little inquisitive?
You are a detective.
[09:51] Nagumo
The times sure do change fast.
[09:54] Mashiro
I was tailing you while
you were tailing that woman.
[09:58] Mashiro
Who tails someone carrying milk
and a red bean bun in this day and age?
[10:01] Nagumo
What? Hang on.
[10:03] Nagumo
You were following me?
[10:05] Mashiro
Knowing an HS girl tailed you
doesn't piss you off?
[10:07] Nagumo
What's "HS" mean?
[10:09] Mashiro
Oh, come on!
[10:11] Mashiro
Maybe it's not your health losing you work,
but the fact that your senses have dulled.
[10:17] Nagumo
You nailed it. I can tell my intuition's
been suffering more than my health lately.
[10:23] Nagumo
But the old ways are all I know.
[10:27] Nagumo
And those ways got me to the top once,
so they're even harder to let go.
[10:32] Nagumo
You know, they used to call me
a "great detective."
[10:36] Nagumo
Hard to believe, right?
[10:42] Mashiro
I believe it.
[10:43] Nagumo
Look!
[10:43] Nagumo
A man!
[10:45] Nagumo
I think he's her superior at work.
[10:48] Nagumo
So is she guilty or not?
[10:50] SFX
Hug!
[10:51] Nagumo
Yep. Guilty.
[10:53] Nagumo
I knew it.
[10:54] Mashiro
Whoa. This is way too real.
[10:57] Nagumo
When it comes to cheating,
it's easier to prove guilt than innocence.
[11:03] Nagumo
This pretty much clinches it.
[11:05] Nagumo
Now you just need a photo
and the job's done, yeah?
[11:07] Nagumo
Exactly.
[11:09] Mashiro
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
[11:11] Mashiro
You're being way too obvious.
[11:13] Mashiro
Aren't you supposed to be sneakier?
[11:15] Mashiro
Also, an instant camera's
gonna stand out way too much.
[11:18] Nagumo
But it's all I have.
[11:20] Mashiro
See? They're looking at us!
You can't point the lens at them now!
[11:24] Nagumo
So what am I supposed to do?
[11:26] Mashiro
I swear!
[11:28] Mashiro
Smile, Kei-chan. Say cheese!
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[11:34] ClientA
There's no mistaking it.
[11:37] ClientA
That's definitely my wife.
[11:39] ClientA
I can't believe she really
was cheating on me.
[11:42] Nagumo
I feel your pain.
[11:55] Nagumo
And?
[11:56] Nagumo
How long are you gonna sit there?
[11:59] Mashiro
Make me your assistant.
[12:01] Nagumo
I told you. No.
[12:04] Mashiro
I think I was pretty useful, though.
[12:08] Nagumo
I mean, you were useful, yeah.
[12:11] Mashiro
Really? Then...
[12:13] Nagumo
Instead, I'll give you a ticket you can
redeem to observe my agency anytime.
[12:18] Mashiro
What? Stingy.
[12:20] Nagumo
Point is, you're not ready
to be my assistant yet.
[12:24] Mashiro
Mine.
[12:25] Nagumo
Hey. Give that back.
[12:28] Mashiro
It's my reward for today.
[12:30] Nagumo
Yeah, whatever.
[12:32] Nagumo
So? How did you feel about your first job?
[12:37] Mashiro
Well, I'd say...
[12:39] Mashiro
I could've used a little more...
[12:43] Mashiro
excitement.
[12:43] Nagumo
You...
[12:45] Mashiro
Y'know?
[12:46] Nagumo
You knew who I was?
[12:48] Mashiro
Later, old dude.
[12:49] Nagumo
Hey! Your name!
You didn't tell me your name!
[12:52] Mashiro
It's Mashiro.
[12:54] Mashiro
You can call me Mashiro-chan.
[12:56] Nagumo
I won't be doing that.
[12:58] Nagumo
Careful getting home.
[13:03] Nagumo
Ow, ow, ow, ow! My back!
[13:08] Mashiro
Old dude?
[13:11] Mashiro
Oh, jeez! You're the one
who needs to be careful!
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[13:15] Mashiro
Holy crap. You're bent at a right angle.
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[13:21] Nagumo/Mashiro
What?!
[13:23] Nagumo/Mashiro
This isn't the right cat?!
[13:26] ClientB
See? The ears aren't the right color.
[13:29] Nagumo
Oh. I see it now.
[13:31] Nagumo
So what do we do with this guy?
[13:33] Nagumo
We can't just toss him out.
[13:37] Mashiro
From now on, you're our
agency's mascot, Cerberus.
[13:41] Nagumo
What? We're keeping him?
[13:42] Nagumo
Also, wasn't Cerberus a dog?
[13:45] Mashiro
This old dude's so nitpicky, isn't he?
[13:47] Mashiro
Anyway, glad to have you on board, Cerberus.
[13:53] Mashiro
Don't underestimate humans,
you little piece of shit.
[13:57] ClientB
Um, what about my request?
SIGN Mashiro's Pest Extermination
SIGN Mashiro's Pest Extermination
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Seeking
Work!
SIGN We'll Do Anything!
SIGN Isn't this fun?
SIGN Everyone's Happy...
[14:07] Mashiro
What do you think? I made a poster
for the Nagumo Detective Agency!
[14:12] Mashiro
I've always had a knack
for drawing, if nothing else.
[14:16] Mashiro
Now we'll get tons of clients.
[14:19] Mashiro
Hey! That's so mean!
[14:21] Nagumo
Why'd you put "We'll do anything"?
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[14:24] Nagumo
We're not an odd jobs agency.
[14:26] Nagumo
Have some pride as a detective.
[14:28] Mashiro
You were the one crawling
around, looking for a cat.
[14:31] Nagumo
Finding lost pets is
legitimate detective work.
[14:35] Mashiro
It's hard to make a living on
detective work alone these days.
[14:39] Mashiro
You gotta branch out
and try some other jobs.
[14:42] Mashiro
Like catching the bear
that showed up in town.
[14:44] Nagumo
No death-defying jobs, please.
[14:46] Nagumo
Anyway, how's that poster
gonna attract clients?
[14:49] Nagumo
Rejected.
[14:50] Mashiro
I've already put them up
all over town. Five hundred of them.
[14:54] Nagumo
Wait, five hundred?!
[14:55] Nagumo
How much did it cost to print all...
[14:59] Nagumo
Oh, you want food? I'll go get something—
[15:03] Nagumo
Bro!
[15:13] Nagumo
Stay away from me!
[15:17] Mashiro
Jeez, Cerberus, you shouldn't
eat gross things like this.
[15:21] Nagumo
I can't believe you can touch that thing.
[15:23] Mashiro
What? Bugs are no problem.
[15:26] Mashiro
Wait. Don't tell me you're...
[15:36] Nagumo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
[15:38] Mashiro
Wait up!
[15:41] Nagumo
Damn it!
[15:42] Nagumo
Go take down every last one of those posters!
[15:46] Nagumo
For the love of...
[15:49] ClientC
Hello, police? I just saw a high school girl
get murdered by being thrown out a window.
[15:54] Nagumo
You've got it all wrong!
[15:57] Nagumo
I'm so sorry for startling you, mademoiselle.
[16:01] Nagumo
She's the type that can fall
from five stories up and not get hurt.
[16:05] ClientC
I've never heard of a "type" like that.
[16:09] Nagumo
So what brings you here today?
[16:10] ClientC
This might be outside
your area of expertise,
[16:13] ClientC
but your poster did say
you'd do anything, so...
[16:17] Nagumo INT
It's working already?
[16:18] ClientC
The thing is, bees have
built a nest on my house—
[16:21] Nagumo
Nope.
[16:22] ClientC
That was quick!
[16:25] Nagumo
Forgive me, but let's switch
to grown-up topics now.
[16:29] Nagumo
Speak of this to no one.
[16:31] ClientC
A-All right.
[16:34] Nagumo
Thing is...
[16:37] Nagumo
I absolutely can't stand bugs.
[16:40] ClientC
Are you a child?!
[16:42] ClientC
But there are no exterminators in town.
[16:44] Nagumo
I can't handle them, and that's that.
[16:47] Nagumo
Oh. Maybe I'll have Mashiro do it.
[16:50] Nagumo
Bugs don't bother her. She's tough.
[16:56] Nagumo
Um, how do you make a call on one of these?
[17:00] ClientC
What?
[17:03] Mashiro
What is it? I'm not done
taking down all the posters.
[17:07] Nagumo
We got an urgent request
for an extermination.
[17:10] Nagumo
Can you take it alone?
[17:12] Mashiro
What? A job?! I'm on it! Leave it to me!
[17:16] Nagumo
What's your address?
[17:17] ClientC
Such-and-such in the town of so-and-so.
[17:19] Mashiro
Such-and-such in the town
of so-and-so? Okay, got it!
[17:23] Nagumo
Great. Take care of it.
[17:28] Nagumo
Hello? Can you see the nest?
[17:33] Mashiro
I see it.
SIGN The Crime Family
SIGN The Crime Family
[17:34] Mashiro
A giant, towering nest of nasty pests.
SIGN The Crime Family
SIGN The Crime Family
SIGN The Crime Family
SIGN The Client's Actual House
SIGN The Crime Family
[17:37] Nagumo
Is it really that big?
[17:40] Nagumo
Okay, wipe it out quick, then.
[17:42] Mashiro
Is that really the thing to say right now?
[17:44] Nagumo
Why are you being all modest now?
[17:47] Mashiro
But, uh...
[17:49] Nagumo
I'm counting on you, partner.
[17:54] Mashiro
Okay. I'll try.
[17:56] Nagumo
And make sure you're prepared first.
[17:59] Mashiro
Partner, huh?
[18:01] Mashiro
I gotta live up to his expectations.
[18:04] Mashiro
It's okay.
[18:06] Mashiro
I did all that training, and I've watched
tons of action movies for research.
[18:10] Mashiro
Like D°e Hard, R°°°dent Evil, T°mb Raider.
[18:15] Mashiro
I am a hero. I am an agent!
[18:19] Nagumo
Are you ready?
[18:21] Mashiro
All set.
[18:22] Nagumo
Why English?
SIGN Guide to Insect Extermination
SIGN Seiso Shobo
[18:25] Nagumo
Okay, first...
[18:28] Nagumo
Get as close as you can to the nest.
[18:33] Nagumo
Then, once you've found the entrance
and confirmed how many are inside...
SIGN Virtue
SIGN Virtue
SIGN Virtue
SIGN Virtue
[18:37] Nagumo
Block the entrance.
SIGN Virtue
[18:41] Skin
Who's this brat?
[18:43] Brains
Are you lost?
[18:47] Nishino
What brings you here, little lady?
[18:50] Nagumo
And when the entrance is blocked,
[18:52] Nagumo
let loose with the insecticide!
[18:54] Ken-san
Tear gas?!
[18:55] Teppo
She's a button gal here to whack us!
[18:57] Bro
Get her!
[18:58] Nagumo
They'll probably be pissed after
you spray them, so be careful.
[19:03] Enemy of Women
I'll stab you!
[19:05] Nagumo
And be careful not to get pricked.
[19:07] Boss
Little brat.
[19:10] Boss
This ends now.
[19:12] Boss
Make a honeycomb outta her!
[19:15] Nagumo
Honeycomb?
[19:16] Nagumo
Well, I know it's a bee nest, but...
[19:17] Nagumo
Wait, whose deep voice was that?
[19:20] Mashiro
Projectiles, huh?
[19:22] Mashiro
In that case, I need this, too.
[19:26] Skin
Did we get her?
[19:29] Boss
What the hell is that weapon?!
[19:36] Brains
It's a flamethrower!
[19:38] Nagumo
What? What happened?
[19:40] Nezu
Boss! Bro!
[19:42] Nezu
Shit.
[19:44] Nezu
I guess it's all up to me now.
[19:49] Nezu INT
But can I beat this monster on my own?
[19:54] Nezu INT
Sh-She's terrifying.
Her face is scary as hell.
[19:58] Nezu INT
Man, I shouldn't have joined the yakuza
just 'cause I looked good in flashy suits.
[20:06] Nezu INT
She dropped the weapon. Now's my chance!
[20:10] Nezu
I'm gonna take your very soul!
[20:18] Na
Nezu Taro, aged twenty-two.
[20:20] Na
After two years in the yakuza,
he sensed death looming for the first time.
SIGN Unused
SIGN Booze
SIGN Cars
SIGN Women
SIGN P&D
SIGN Yazawa
[20:24] Na
At that moment, the limiter
on his brain was released,
[20:27] Na
and after fumbling around
for a way to stay alive...
[20:30] Nezu
I'm sorry!
[20:33] Nezu
I'll quit the yakuza right away!
Please forgive me!
[20:36] Nezu
I'm begging you! I'm begging you!
[20:39] Mashiro
I'm done, old dude.
[20:41] Nagumo
Hey, good job. You did it.
[20:44] Nagumo
Shoulda known you could.
[20:46] ClientC
What a relief.
[20:48] Nagumo
By the way, can you tell what type they are?
[20:50] Mashiro
Huh? What type?
[20:52] Nagumo
Yeah. If you don't know,
just tell me what they look like.
[20:56] Mashiro
What they look like?
[20:59] Mashiro
If I had to say...
[21:01] Mashiro
Long-legged.
[21:03] Nagumo
Hmm, paper wasps, maybe?
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[21:08] News
The designated criminal organization,
the Crime Family,
[21:10] News
has had its office destroyed
by an unknown individual.
[21:14] Nagumo
Did... you do that?
[21:17] Mashiro
Yep!
[21:18] Nagumo
Wait! How'd destroying a bee nest turn into
taking down a criminal organization?
[21:22] Nagumo
What the hell kind of mistake led to that?
[21:25] Mashiro
I goofed up. Tee-hee.
[21:27] Nagumo
Wipe off the other guy's blood
before you say that.
[21:30] Mashiro
Oh, yeah! I got something out of it, too.
[21:32] Mashiro
Come on out.
[21:35] Mashiro
Ta-da! This is Nezu-kun, ex-yakuza.
[21:39] Nezu
Hey! Thanks for havin' me.
[21:42] Mashiro
You really do have long legs, Nezu-kun.
[21:45] Nezu
Big Sis Mashiro granted me this life.
[21:48] Nezu
You may use it however you please.
[21:51] Nezu
I'm all yours!
[21:53] Nagumo
Okay, go make coffee or something.
[21:55] Nezu
Got it!
[21:56] Mashiro
We gained another new member.
[21:58] Mashiro
Our agency's getting livelier and livelier.
[22:03] ClientC
Um, what about my request?
SIGN Next Time
SIGN With Ghosts,
Go for the Knees
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Fi
SIGN nd
SIGN the
SIGN Re
SIGN al
SIGN Thi
SIGN ef
SIGN !
SIGN Three Minutes Until Mashiro Explodes
2 - With Ghosts, Go for the Knees / Find the Real Thief! / Three Minutes Until Mashiro Explodes
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] TV
So did you see it?
[00:04] TV
Here's another look in slow motion.
[00:14] Nagumo
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
SIGN Flour
SIGN Sugar
[00:18] Mashiro
Salt! Salt!
SIGN Flour
SIGN Flour
[00:20] Mashiro
Gotta purify this place quick!
[00:22] Nagumo
Don't watch shows like this
if you can't handle that stuff.
[00:24] Mashiro
Found it!
[00:27] Mashiro
Evil spirits, begone!
SIGN Salt
[00:31] Nagumo
Take it out of the bag first!
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
SIGN With Ghosts,
Go for the Knees
[02:08] Mashiro
I've never been able to handle
dark places and ghosts and stuff.
[02:12] Mashiro
They don't bother you, old dude?
[02:14] Nagumo
Nah, not really.
[02:16] Mashiro
I can't believe it. How?
[02:18] Nagumo
I mean, there's no such thing as ghosts.
[02:20] Nagumo
Okay, then, could you walk through
a graveyard naked at night alone?
[02:24] Mashiro
Bet you couldn't!
[02:26] Nagumo
That's no prob—wait,
is the naked part necessary?
SIGN Dets These Days
[02:31] Nagumo
Ghosts and Santa share the same roots.
[02:35] Nagumo
They're products of the imaginations
of innocent children.
[02:39] Nagumo
Santa, ghosts, God, the childhood buddy
running up with toast in their mouth...
SIGN God
SIGN God
SIGN God
SIGN God
[02:44] Nagumo
All illusions.
SIGN God
SIGN God
SIGN God
SIGN God
[02:48] Mashiro
I bet you'd turn into a really
nasty bound spirit if you died.
[02:54] Mashiro
Welcome!
[02:56] Mashiro
Wait.
[02:56] Mashiro
Hayashida-kun.
[02:58] Hayashida
Hey. So you really are working
at a detective agency.
[03:05] Nagumo
Oh, he's your classmate, huh?
[03:07] Mashiro
Haven't seen you in a while.
[03:09] Hayashida
Y-Yeah.
[03:11] Hayashida
Since you don't come to school
much, um, Mashiro-chan.
[03:14] Mashiro
I'm keeping track of my attendance, though.
[03:17] Hayashida
Oh, cool.
[03:20] Mashiro
So, uh, wh-where'd
your zodiac sign rank today?
[03:25] Nagumo INT
Ah. They're not particularly
good friends or anything.
[03:29] Hayashida
Um, I'm here with a request.
[03:32] Mashiro
What? From you?
[03:34] Hayashida
Yeah. The thing is...
[03:37] Hayashida
A ghost keeps showing up around my house.
[03:39] Mashiro
For...
[03:40] Mashiro
F-F-F-F-F-For real?!
[03:43] Hayashida
Yeah. Every night around midnight,
I sense something outside the house.
[03:51] Hayashida
So I bought a cheap surveillance
camera to watch for it.
[03:54] Hayashida
But it suddenly showed static,
and when the picture came back...
[04:01] Hayashida
When I went outside
to try to see what it was,
[04:04] Hayashida
the camera displayed static again,
and whatever it was I saw was gone.
[04:08] Nagumo
Hmm, a nasty prank? A stalker?
[04:12] Nagumo
There's a lot it could be, but Mashiro
and I will stop by to check it out.
[04:19] Nagumo
Guess you do react to some things
like a normal girl, huh?
[04:22] Mashiro
Must sacrifice fifty virgins
to the mountain god right away.
[04:25] Mashiro
Must sacrifice fifty virgins
to the mountain god right away.
[04:25] Nagumo
Are you some crazy shaman lady
from the boonies?
[04:29] Mashiro
I don't think I can do this one.
[04:32] Nagumo
Hey, Mashiro.
[04:33] Nagumo
Does the detective you wanna be choose
clients based on your moods and preferences?
[04:39] Nagumo
I won't say it's wrong
to escape to the easiest path,
[04:42] Nagumo
but no matter how far you go on that path,
[04:45] Nagumo
you'll never catch up to me.
[04:48] Mashiro
Old dude.
SIGN You're the one who
made Mashiro take
the extermination
job, man.
[04:55] Mashiro
Okay. I'll do my best!
[04:57] Hayashida
M-Mashiro-chan, are you sure you'll be okay?
[05:00] Mashiro
Hang on. I'm trying
to recall my coach's advice.
[05:06] (Flashback) Mashiro
Coach!
[05:07] (Flashback) Mashiro
How do I defeat a ghost?
[05:10] (Flashback) Coach
That's easy!
[05:12] (Flashback) Coach
Go for its nose.
[05:14] (Flashback) Mashiro
You made that up!
[05:15] (Flashback) Coach
Every living thing's weakness is its nose.
[05:17] (Flashback) Mashiro
And if it doesn't work?
[05:19] (Flashback) Coach
If it doesn't work...
[05:21] (Flashback) Coach
Go for the knees.
[05:25] Mashiro
Okay! I'm good now!
[05:27] Nagumo
Who's your coach?
[05:31] Mashiro
I didn't know you lived
by yourself, Hayashida-kun.
[05:33] Hayashida
Yeah.
[05:34] Mashiro
Huh. It's cleaner than I would've expected.
[05:40] Nagumo
Hayashida-kun.
[05:41] Hayashida
Y-Yes?
[05:42] Nagumo
Wouldn't you be able to see this ghost
if you just waited outside?
[05:46] Hayashida
Oh, actually, for some reason,
it doesn't come out when people are around.
[05:51] Nagumo
Uh-huh.
[05:54] Mashiro
So this is connected
to your surveillance camera?
[05:57] Mashiro
Hey, I see something!
[05:59] Nagumo
Is it here?
[06:08] Mashiro
Oh, it's just the old dude with
the cross-shaped chest hair. Whew!
[06:12] Nagumo
Wait, wait! Is this guy that well-known?
[06:15] Mashiro
Huh? It's the famous old dude
who's been showing up lately.
[06:18] Mashiro
You're an old dude, too.
You don't know about him?
[06:20] Nagumo
Don't put me in the same category as him!
[06:23] Hayashida
There! The static!
[06:29] Mashiro
That's two hundred times
scarier than I imagined!
[06:32] Nagumo
Okay, Mashiro. Go.
[06:33] Mashiro
Me?!
[06:34] Nagumo
Well, it looks like it disappears quick.
[06:36] Nagumo
We need your speed
if we want to find out what it is.
[06:44] Mashiro
You'd better treat me to BBQ later!
[06:47] Hayashida
Oh, the static again!
[06:50] Nagumo
And it's gone.
[06:51] Hayashida
Oh, there's Mashiro-chan.
[06:53] Nagumo
Damn. Just barely too late.
[06:56] Hayashida
Oh, the guy with the cross-shaped
chest hair is giving her food.
[07:01] Nagumo
That's the one type of person
you should never accept food from.
SIGN Day 2
[07:09] Mashiro
Today's the day I catch that ghost!
[07:12] Nagumo
There's the ghost. Go, Mashiro.
[07:14] Nagumo
Damn, she's fast.
[07:16] Mashiro
It's gone!
SIGN Day 5
[07:18] Nagumo
It's there!
[07:28] Mashiro
That still wasn't fast enough?
SIGN Day 7
[07:32] Mashiro
I'll break the joints in its legs
so it can't run when I catch it.
[07:36] Mashiro
I'll break the joints in its legs
so it can't run when I catch it.
[07:40] Nagumo
Mashiro gets faster every time, but it always
disappears the moment before she gets there.
[07:45] Nagumo
But it doesn't show up at all
if we hide and wait for it.
[07:49] Hayashida
We're kind of stuck, huh?
[07:53] Nagumo
You're looking pretty content,
all things considered.
[07:56] Hayashida
Huh? No, not at all.
[07:58] Hayashida
Oh, the static. Here it comes.
[08:02] Nagumo
Mashiro! Go through the window!
[08:04] Hayashida
Window?!
[08:07] Mashiro
I bet the ghost wasn't expecting me
to take a shortcut!
[08:12] Mashiro
And I'm here.
[08:14] Nagumo
Oh? Now, this is strange.
[08:17] Nagumo
Mashiro should be in front of the camera,
[08:19] Nagumo
but only the ghost is on the screen.
[08:23] Nagumo
Hayashida-kun, what is this?
[08:25] Hayashida
Don't ask me. I don't have a clue.
[08:29] Nagumo
No, I think you do.
[08:31] Nagumo
Because that ghost is you.
[08:36] Hayashida
Huh? Wh-What are you saying?
[08:39] Hayashida
I'm right here, aren't I?
[08:44] Hayashida
You dressed as a ghost, stood in front of the
camera in advance, and recorded the footage.
[08:50] Hayashida
And you've been returning it to the
original picture before Mashiro gets there
[08:54] Hayashida
so we wouldn't figure out it was a recording.
[08:56] Nagumo
Well?
[08:57] Hayashida
Wh-Where's your proof?
[08:59] Nagumo
Hey, no need to fly off the handle.
[09:01] Nagumo
We can find out just
by looking at the camera,
[09:04] Nagumo
but the remote is proof enough.
[09:06] Nagumo
It's in your pocket, right?
[09:11] Hayashida
When did you figure it out?
[09:13] Nagumo
On the first day.
[09:15] Nagumo
The moment the ghost disappeared,
the old man's light was visible.
[09:20] Nagumo
That kind of gave me a clue.
[09:23] Hayashida
Why did you pretend you didn't know, then?
[09:25] Nagumo
I wanted to know why.
[09:28] Nagumo
And I figured that out
over these past few days, too.
[09:31] Nagumo
You've got a thing for Mashiro.
[09:34] Nagumo
You sure were having
a good time talking to her.
[09:37] Nagumo
From the look on your face,
ghosts were the last thing on your mind.
[09:41] Nagumo
So you created a ghost that could
never be found and made her look for it
[09:45] Nagumo
so you'd have an excuse to see her.
[09:47] Nagumo
Am I right?
[09:48] Hayashida
N-No—
[09:49] Nagumo
It happened to me, too.
[09:52] Nagumo
In eighth grade, I borrowed an MD
from a girl and told her I'd lost it
[09:57] Nagumo
to get her in my room
so we could look for it together.
[10:00] Nagumo
Though I later realized she'd stolen
my Gme Boy and I vomited from the shock.
[10:05] Hayashida
I'm sorry!
[10:08] Hayashida
You're right about everything!
[10:10] Hayashida
I was just so desperate
to get closer to Mashiro-chan!
[10:15] Hayashida
I'll pay you, I swear!
Just please, forgive me!
[10:20] Nagumo
Are you familiar with Sherlock Holmes?
[10:24] Hayashida
Huh? Yeah...
[10:26] Nagumo
In one of the books, he says...
[10:33] Nagumo
...uh, something that isn't
coming to me right now.
[10:36] Hayashida
Huh?
[10:38] Nagumo
Well, anyway, stop taking
the roundabout way,
[10:42] Nagumo
and just face her head-on. Got it?
[10:45] Nagumo
You can pay my fee whenever you can.
[10:49] Hayashida
Nagumo-san!
[10:53] Mashiro
Sorry about that! I'm back!
[10:55] Hayashida
Hey, Mashiro. Hayashida-kun
has something to tell...
[10:58] Mashiro
Look! I finally caught the ghost!
[11:04] Nagumo
Evil spirit, begone!
[11:06] Mashiro
Hey! Take the salt out of the bag first!
[11:11] Mashiro
Huh? My pudding's gone.
[11:13] Mashiro
I was so looking forward to eating it.
[11:19] Mashiro
You didn't eat it, did you, Nezu-kun?
[11:22] Mashiro
You wouldn't do that, right?
[11:24] TV
Next up in the news...
[11:25] TV
Self-proclaimed detective, Nagumo Keiichiro,
[11:25] Nezu
Uh, no, this was just, like...
[11:28] TV
has been arrested on suspicion*
of stealing women's underwear.
[11:29] Nezu
Uh-oh! Big Bro Nagumo got
arrested for underwear theft!
[11:32] Mashiro
Can't you come up with
a better lie than that?
[11:33] TV
That news again...
[11:35] TV
The man arrested on suspicion of underwear
theft was self-proclaimed detective,
SIGN m 627.5 52 l 294.5 52.5 287.5 48.5 284 42 284.5 36 287.5 31.5 291 27.5 627.5 28
SIGN Former great detective resorts to underwear theft?!
SIGN m 627.5 52 l 294.5 52.5 287.5 48.5 284 42 284.5 36 287.5 31.5 291 27.5 627.5 28
SIGN Former great detective resorts to underwear theft?!
SIGN Reproduction
SIGN Where
are the
stolen
articles?
SIGN Featured Topic
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN 50 victims! 150 pairs of underwear stolen
[11:39] TV
Nagumo Keiichiro, aged 35.
[11:43] Mashiro
Seriously?
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Fi
SIGN nd
SIGN the
SIGN Re
SIGN al
SIGN Thi
SIGN ef
SIGN !
[11:47] Mimasaka
Wow, it's been ages.
SIGN Metropolitan
SIGN Police
SIGN Department
SIGN Shinjuku
SIGN Station
[11:49] Mimasaka
Looks like you've aged a bit, Keiichiro.
[11:52] Nagumo
So have you. You're straight-up old now,
[11:55] Nagumo
Chief Inspector Mimasaka, sir.
[11:57] Mimasaka
Hey, don't address me like that.
Creeps me out.
[12:00] Mimasaka
Just call me what you always used to.
[12:02] Mimasaka
Still, though...
[12:04] Mimasaka
We were prodigies who were once in
the limelight as a high school detective duo,
[12:08] Mimasaka
and now, one of us is
just a humble civil servant,
[12:11] Mimasaka
while the other is making waves
as a serial underwear thief.
[12:15] Nagumo
I told you, it wasn't me.
[12:18] Mimasaka
I know that. I don't really think you did it.
[12:22] Nagumo
Then let me go home already.
[12:24] Mimasaka
I'm afraid I can't.
[12:26] Mimasaka
Not when I have this.
[12:29] Nagumo
That's...
[12:32] Nagumo
What is it? Menko?
[12:35] Mimasaka
It's an SD card!
[12:37] Mimasaka
It contains footage recorded
by one of the victims.
[12:40] Nagumo
And what's an "SD card"?
[12:42] Mimasaka
Anyway, until you explain
what happens in this footage,
[12:48] Mimasaka
I can't let you go...
[12:54] Mimasaka
I didn't do anything, and it broke.
SIGN 10 Minutes Later
[12:59] Mimasaka
Well?
[13:01] Mimasaka
That's you, isn't it?
[13:05] Nagumo
That's me, all right.
[13:07] Mimasaka
Guess this case is closed, then.
[13:10] Nagumo
No! Wait, wait, wait!
[13:12] Nagumo
Something's weird about this footage.
[13:14] Nagumo
It's as if he's looking right
at the camera on purpose.
[13:17] Nagumo
Based on the number of victims,
this guy's a pro.
[13:19] Nagumo
Would a pro make a dumb mistake like that?
[13:22] Nagumo
Someone's obviously trying to frame me.
[13:25] Mimasaka
That's all speculation
on your part, Keiichiro.
[13:28] Mimasaka
Or do you have proof?
[13:30] Nagumo
I do have proof.
[13:32] Nagumo
Or I will have it.
[13:34] Nagumo
My assistant will find it.
[13:38] Mashiro
Nezu-kun, what is this?
[13:39] Nezu
I call it "Operation: Fish Up
the Underwear Thief"!
[13:43] Nezu
I'll carry this thing around town,
[13:46] Nezu
and the underwear thieves will flock to it!
[13:49] Nezu
Whaddya think? Do I have
what it takes to be a detective?
[13:54] Mashiro
Nezu-kun...
[13:55] Nezu
Yes?
[13:58] Mashiro
Two to go.
[13:59] Nezu
Huh? Wait, what are you counting?
You're scaring me! I'm sca—
[14:03] Mashiro
Look here.
SIGN The Office
[14:04] Mashiro
These are the locations
where the underwear thief struck.
[14:07] Nezu
Looks like they're concentrated
around our office.
[14:10] Mashiro
The old dude was immediately taken in,
even though he wasn't caught in the act.
[14:14] Mashiro
That means there's most likely
photographic evidence.
[14:17] Nezu
Makes sense.
SIGN The Office
[14:19] Mashiro
Given the spots the thefts occurred, it had
to be someone who looks like the old dude,
[14:24] Mashiro
and who wanted to make it
look like the old dude did it.
[14:28] Nezu
You kinda sound like a detective, Big Sis!
[14:31] Mashiro
You think so?
[14:32] Mashiro
Also, do you notice anything
when you look at this map?
[14:35] Nezu
Ooh, like what? Like what?
[14:38] Mashiro
If we draw lines to connect these locations...
[14:42] Mashiro
Yes! It forms the shape of the Big Dipper!
[14:45] Nezu
Oh! Uh... yeah, um...
[14:48] Nezu
That's reaching.
[14:49] Mashiro
What? No way! It totally
looks like the Big Dipper!
[14:52] Nezu
Nah, that's a serious stretch.
SIGN Uzbekistan
[14:55] Nezu
It looks like Uzbekistan to me.
[14:57] Nezu
And if it did form the Big Dipper,
what would that mean?
[15:01] Mashiro
Well, it's... um, that is...
[15:04] Mashiro
We should nab everyone we see wearing
clothes with the Big Dipper on them?
[15:07] Nezu
That's some shitty logic.
[15:09] Mimasaka
Can't believe you found yourself
a reliable assistant.
[15:13] Nagumo
Not sure if I'd call her "reliable," but...
[15:17] Nezu
Why do you gotta dry
your underwear at my place?
[15:20] Mashiro
I can't use the office.
It'd make the thief suspicious.
[15:23] Mashiro
The people living near there dry their
clothes inside now because of the thief,
[15:27] Mashiro
so he'll naturally end up here. I know it.
[15:30] Nezu
Huh.
[15:31] Mashiro
Also, interrogations revealed that
he seemed to focus on white underwear.
[15:36] Nezu
Just wondering, but are these yours?
[15:39] Mashiro
Like hell they are!
These are new ones I just bought—
[15:41] Nezu
Hey, Mr. Nagumo!
[15:43] Nezu
So they let you go, huh?
[15:44] Mashiro
Old dude?
[15:46] Mashiro
Check it out. I set a trap
to lure the thief here...
[15:50] Mashiro
He looks kinda like him,
but very specifically different!
[15:54] Thief
His assistant?
[15:56] Mashiro
Hey, wait!
[15:57] Nezu
Big Sis, leave this one to me!
[16:00] Nezu
Since my legs are so long,
I'm a great runner.
[16:03] Nezu
I'll nab that guy in a flash with my spee—
[16:07] Nezu
Bug scary. Bug scary. Bug scary.
[16:09] Mashiro
I swear, all the men
at our office are useless!
[16:14] Mashiro
Hold it, you!
[16:16] Thief
As if a girl can catch up to me.
[16:19] Mashiro
I'll just have to use this, then.
[16:21] Mashiro
Come forth, new weapon! Drone Strike!
[16:24] Thief
What? Drone?!
[16:29] Mashiro
Yeah, as if I have one of those, dumbass.
[16:34] Mashiro
Gotcha!
[16:36] Mashiro
I'll make sure you pay
for framing the old dude.
[16:39] Thief
Hey, no need to get so testy.
[16:44] Thief
Sure am glad they were white.
[16:47] Nezu
Sorry, Big Sis! Did you catch the thief?
[16:51] Mashiro
I will pulverize him.
[16:55] Mimasaka
That's it for today's interrogation.
[16:58] Mimasaka
I sure hope your assistant saves you.
[17:01] PoliceA
Hey! Who are you?!
[17:02] PoliceB
Stop! Where's that momentum coming from?!
[17:04] PoliceC
We need backup!
[17:05] Mimasaka
What's all the noise out there?
[17:08] Mashiro
Sorry for the wait, old dude.
[17:11] Nagumo
Took you long enough.
[17:13] Mashiro
We caught the thief. He looks just like you.
[17:16] Mashiro
See?
[17:17] Nagumo
You beat him up so bad, I can't even tell!
[17:21] Mashiro
Stop right there!
[17:23] Mashiro
Serial arsonist, Knit Man!
[17:26] Knit Man
Damn it. How are you so fast in that form?
[17:30] Mashiro
I did warn you.
[17:33] Mashiro
Take this!
[17:36] Knit Man
Wha—
[17:39] Knit Man
Hah! Where the hell are you aiming?
[17:41] Knit Man
You suck at kicking.
[17:45] Mashiro
The pen is mightier than the sword.
SIGN That's my ricochet.
[17:47] Knit Man
The English line has nothing
to do with anything.
SIGN Three Minutes Until Mashiro Explodes
[17:54] Mimasaka
That was some fine work, Mashiro-chan.
[17:58] Mashiro
Nothing's gonna come out of
that kinda praise.
[18:01] Nagumo
Uh, something did just come out.
[18:05] Nagumo
What's up?
[18:06] Knit Man
My art is still out there.
[18:09] Nagumo
Your what?
[18:10] Knit Man
Go check out parking lot #1 by the station.
[18:13] Knit Man
I don't think you'll get
there in time, though.
[18:16] Nagumo
Wha...
[18:17] Nagumo
Mashiro! You should be fast enough.
[18:19] Mashiro
I'm on it!
[18:20] Mimasaka
What did you do, Knit Man?
[18:22] Knit Man
What did I do? I did art. Art.
[18:25] Knit Man
You sure you wanna let that brat handle it?
[18:29] Knit Man
My art is pretty provocative.
[18:32] Nagumo
Mashiro, did you find it?
SIGN It's our 2-month anniversary!
SIGN It's our 2-month anniversary!
SIGN It's our 2-month anniversary!
SIGN It's our 2-month anniversary!
SIGN It's our 2-month anniversary!
[18:36] Mashiro
There's a monster hunt quest posted here.
[18:39] Nagumo
That's probably not it.
[18:42] Mashiro
Huh? There's some kind of box here.
[18:45] Nagumo
A box?
[18:46] Nagumo
Okay, don't touch it.
Stay there until backup—
[18:48] Knit Man
I don't think there's gonna be time for that.
[18:51] Mashiro
You heard Knit Man. I'm opening it.
[18:54] Nagumo
Wait, you idiot. What if it's a bomb?
[19:00] Mashiro
It literally is a bomb.
[19:02] Knit Man
Now it's less of a surprise
thanks to your weird preface!
[19:05] Nagumo
Uh, sorry about that.
[19:07] Mimasaka
Why are you acting so carefree right now?!
[19:10] Mimasaka
Get a bomb squad together.
[19:12] Police
Yes, sir.
[19:12] Nagumo
Listen to me, Mashiro. Don't touch
the bomb, but send me a picture.
[19:16] Mashiro
A picture, huh? Okay!
[19:19] Nagumo
There it is. This should give us
an idea of its design.
[19:23] Nagumo
We don't need you in the shot.
[19:26] Nagumo
Why are you in the frame with the bomb?!
[19:29] Nagumo
Keep screwing around
and this'll be your funeral pic!
[19:31] Mashiro
Please, no! I'll take another one!
[19:36] Nagumo
A solo shot!
[19:37] Nagumo
Stop trying to take a good funeral photo!
[19:39] Mashiro
Crap! There's less than three minutes left!
[19:41] Nagumo
What? Run, Mashiro!
[19:43] Mashiro
I can't. If it blows,
the buildings above could fall.
[19:47] Mashiro
So I'll disarm it here and now.
[19:49] Nagumo
What? You can't do that!
[19:54] Knit Man
This'll be a good show.
[19:56] Nagumo
You! Tell us how to disarm
the bomb right now!
[20:00] Mimasaka
Stop it, Keiichiro. He's not gonna tell us.
[20:02] Knit Man
Hah! There's no way to disarm it.
[20:06] Nagumo
You got a plan, Mashiro?
[20:07] Mashiro
Yeah. I've seen
bomb-disarming scenes in movies.
[20:10] Nagumo
Movies?
[20:11] Mashiro
If I can get through this,
I think I'll make a breakthrough.
[20:14] Mashiro
Though if I fail, it'll do a lot
more than "break through."
[20:19] Mashiro
Get it?
[20:20] Nagumo
That's too disturbing to be funny.
[20:22] Mashiro
Okay, I'm taking off the outer cover.
[20:24] Mashiro
Based on the stats I have,
if there's a red wire and a blue wire,
[20:28] Mashiro
the number of successes after
cutting the red wire is a bit higher, so...
[20:32] SFX (Knit Man's voice)
Clump.
[20:36] Nagumo
M-Mashiro!
[20:37] Mashiro
I-I'm fine, I'm fine.
[20:40] Mashiro
I just blew up 'cause I was panicking.
[20:45] Mashiro
What do I do, old dude?
[20:46] Mashiro
There's a whole tangled clump of wires!
[20:49] Mashiro
Hey, if I post a shot of me with this
on my head, will I go viral?
[20:52] Nagumo
Is your need for approval
really that insatiable?
[20:55] Mashiro
What do I do? It's down to two minutes!
[20:58] Nagumo
Forget it. Just run, Mashiro.
[21:00] Mashiro
I can't. Regular people are gonna get hurt.
[21:03] Nagumo
But there's nothing more you can do.
[21:04] Mashiro
There is!
[21:06] Mashiro
I'll take it to a place
where there are no people.
[21:09] Nagumo
Wha... You...
[21:11] Mimasaka
The bomb squad won't get there in time.
We have to take a chance on her.
[21:15] Mimasaka
Mashiro-chan, this is Mimasaka.
[21:17] Mimasaka
There's an abandoned baseball field to the north.
[21:19] Mimasaka
Leave the bomb in the center of it
and get out of there.
[21:24] Mashiro
There it is.
[21:26] Mashiro INT
One minute left.
[21:28] Mashiro INT
I can get to the center of the field,
but I won't have time to run.
[21:31] Mashiro INT
I'll just have to...
[21:33] Mashiro INT
use the soft touch I built up
playing so much W°°°°°g Eleven*...
[21:38] Mashiro INT
to kick it in!
[21:42] Mashiro
Did you see that, Knit Man?
[21:44] Mashiro
I win again...
[21:51] Nezu INT
Heya! I'm Nezu.
[21:53] Nezu INT
I'm actually into photography as a hobby.
[21:56] Nezu INT
My usual subjects are ruins*
and abandoned structures.
[21:59] Nezu
Huh?
[22:04] Mashiro
Could you tell me how to get to the station?
SIGN That's my ricochet.
[22:07] Nagumo
The English line has nothing
to do with anything.
SIGN Next Time
SIGN Great Detective
SIGN Great Detective
SIGN Asunaro
SIGN Asunaro
SIGN The Ones Who Don't
Realize They're Stalkers
Are the Most Dangerous
3 - Great Detective Asunaro / The Ones Who Don't Realize They're Stalkers Are the Most Dangerous
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[00:04] Asunaro
Oh, how unsightly.
[00:09] Asunaro
What a pity. What a pity.
[00:14] Asunaro
Wait for me, Nagumo-sensei.
[00:17] Asunaro
The time has come to repay my debt to you.
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
SIGN Great Detective
SIGN Great Detective
SIGN Asunaro
SIGN Asunaro
SIGN Overdue Rent Collection Notice
SIGN Nagumo Keiichiro-sama
SIGN The owner of your building of residence confirms that your rent payment
has not been received by the date agreed upon in your lease agreement.
SIGN Please submit your payment as soon as possible.
[01:59] Nagumo
I have no money.
[02:03] Mashiro
Want me to lend you some?
[02:04] Nagumo
Get real. How much could
a kid like you even have?
[02:09] Mashiro
Oh, I'd say around 500 yen, easy.
[02:12] Nagumo
I feel pathetic for getting my hopes up,
even for just an instant.
[02:16] Asunaro
Ah, I see.
[02:18] Asunaro
So this is Nagumo-sensei's agency.
[02:20] Nagumo
Whoa! Who are you?!
[02:22] Asunaro
Oh, do forgive me.
[02:25] Asunaro
You see, I have my reasons for coming to—
[02:27] Mashiro
Damn thief!
[02:29] Asunaro
Wh-Wh-Wh-What's your problem?
I am no thief!
[02:33] Mashiro
Liar! How'd you get in here
when the door was locked?!
[02:37] Asunaro
It was a piece of cake
with my lock picking skills.
[02:40] Mashiro
You are literally a proper thief!
[02:42] Mashiro
Sit your ass down,
you four-eyed thieving bastard!
[02:44] Asunaro
Just listen to me, you barbarian!
[02:46] Nagumo
Ow, ow, ow. That shocked me
so much, my heart hurts.
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[02:51] Asunaro
I do apologize for startling you.
[02:54] Asunaro
I am Asunaro Yuu, high school detective.
SIGN High School
Detective
SIGN Asunaro Yuu
[02:57] Asunaro
If a mystery resembles
a puzzle or contradiction,
[03:00] Asunaro
I am, by my very nature,
compelled to investigate.
[03:03] Mashiro
Don't pick people's locks
and treat it like a puzzle!
[03:06] Nagumo
Oh, you're the great detective Asunaro?
I see you on TV a lot.
[03:11] Nagumo
You're the top young detective
in the spotlight right now.
[03:15] Asunaro
Oh, no, no! I am nowhere near your level.
[03:19] Nagumo
So what brings you here?
[03:22] Nagumo
Wait, what's wrong?
[03:25] Asunaro
How very odd.
[03:26] Asunaro
Ten minutes have passed since I entered,
and I have not even been served coffee.
[03:31] Asunaro
What could it mean?
[03:33] Nagumo
Oh, where are our manners?
[03:35] Mashiro
There ya go.
[03:36] Asunaro
Thank—
[03:38] Asunaro
How very odd.
[03:40] Asunaro
Most hosts would serve it with milk and sugar
on the side if I did not request it black.
[03:45] Asunaro
What could it mean?
[03:46] Nagumo
Okay, I can tell this guy's
gonna be a real pain!
[03:51] Asunaro
I have come today for
one reason, and one alone.
[03:54] Asunaro
Nagumo-sensei.
[03:56] Asunaro
Please hire me as your assistant.
[04:00] Nagumo
Huh?
[04:01] Mashiro
What?!
[04:02] Mashiro
He already has an assistant!
[04:04] Nagumo
You're already a
full-fledged detective, anyway.
[04:07] Nagumo
Why would you want to work for me now?
[04:09] Asunaro
Because it was you who
made me what I am today.
[04:15] Asunaro
When I was in grade school,
[04:16] Asunaro
I read an old article about you,
and could not tear my eyes away.
SIGN Secret techniques to boost your
deduction skills with your own memo pad!
From the genius detective everyone's
talking about, Nagumo Keiichiro
SIGN Cute and popular!
Sexy summer magnifying glass!
SIGN Nagumo Keiichiro
[04:20] Asunaro
A simple high school student,
[04:22] Asunaro
edging out all the adults with
his intellect alone to stand at the top.
[04:27] Asunaro
When I saw you stealing
all the media attention,
[04:30] Asunaro
I dove into this business and
dedicated myself to being just like you!
[04:35] Asunaro
And now that I have grown stronger...
Yes, it is time!
[04:38] Asunaro
I, Asunaro, am determined
to repay this debt to you,
[04:41] Asunaro
and I have come here
hoping to be of use to you.
[04:45] Nagumo
Yeah, uh, I appreciate the sentiment,
but I really don't have the money to hire—
[04:50] Asunaro
I will, of course, work for free.
[04:52] Asunaro
After all, my work is going so well
that I have grown stinking rich.
[04:56] Nagumo
Yeah, I bet.
[04:58] Asunaro
In fact, I intend to pay you a tuition fee.
[05:01] Nagumo
What?! For real?
[05:03] Nagumo
Mind explaining in a bit more detail?
[05:05] Mashiro
Wait a minute!
[05:07] Mashiro
Why aren't you including me
in this discussion?
[05:10] Mashiro
Shouldn't your first assistant, Mashiro-chan,
be the first one you consult?
[05:18] Asunaro
How very odd.
[05:20] Asunaro
A gorilla wearing clothes and speaking.
[05:22] Mashiro
This guy is seriously pissing me off!
[05:24] Mashiro
You must have no common sense at all,
barging in here out of the blue!
[05:28] Nagumo
Uh, you showed up unannounced, too.
[05:30] Mashiro
Wanting to be like the old dude
isn't enough to be his assistant.
[05:33] Asunaro
You think my admiration for him
is all I'm bringing to this?
[05:36] Asunaro
I'm quite certain I can be
more useful to Sensei than you.
[05:40] Mashiro
Excuse me?
[05:42] Mashiro
Okay! You against me,
Mr. Round Glasses! Let's go!
[05:44] Asunaro
But of course, I gladly accept.
[05:46] Asunaro
Oh, but first, another coffee, please.
[05:49] Mashiro
Comin' right up.
[05:53] Maki
I will be serving as your MC.
SIGN Great Detective
Asunaro's Assistant
SIGN Kazamaki Hana
[05:55] Maki
I'm his assistant, Kazamaki.
[05:58] Maki
You two will compete in three areas
essential to detective work:
[06:01] Maki
intellect, deduction skills, and stamina.
[06:05] Maki
The first to notch up two wins will become
Mr. Nagumo's official assistant.
[06:09] Maki
Is that acceptable, Master?
[06:11] Asunaro
Of course, Maki-chan. Not a problem.
[06:14] Mashiro
Wait, wait, wait! It seems unfair
that your assistant gets to set this up!
[06:18] Maki
Not to worry.
[06:20] Maki
I genuinely despise Master.
[06:22] Asunaro
Aw, you're so hard on me, Maki-chan.
[06:25] Maki
I expect overtime pay for this.
[06:28] Asunaro
She talks big, but at the end of the day,
she's head over heels for me.
[06:32] Asunaro
Aren't you, Maki-chan?
[06:34] Mashiro
Are you?
[06:36] Asunaro
Please stop holding your nose.
[06:40] Maki
The first round will be
a contest of intellect.
SIGN Guest
[06:45] Maki
You will both be given the same wire puzzle.
[06:48] Maki
The one who gets it apart first
will score the first win.
[06:52] Maki
Are you ready?
[06:54] Maki
Then...
[06:56] Maki
Start.
[07:05] Maki
Oh, my. Great Detective Asunaro is so fast.
[07:11] Asunaro
Behold! I will soon have it apart!
[07:14] Asunaro
Couldn't you have entertained me a bit—
[07:20] Asunaro
Impossible.
[07:22] Asunaro
She solved it already?
[07:27] Asunaro
She cut the wire!
[07:29] Maki
Mashiro-san has one win.
[07:30] Mashiro
Yeah, baby!
[07:31] Asunaro
What?! You're allowing that?!
[07:33] Maki
Well, I only said the one who got it
apart first would be the winner.
[07:36] Asunaro
You're a cheater.
[07:38] Asunaro
I refuse to accept this atrocity.
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Mashiro
SIGN Asunaro
SIGN We refuse to believe
that which we don't
understand.
—Pascal
[07:41] Mashiro
"We refuse to believe that which
we don't understand."—Pascal.
[07:47] Asunaro
She's infuriating!
[07:50] Maki
The next contest will be deduction skills.
[07:53] Maki
This is a coded phrase I came up with.
[07:56] Maki
The first one to figure out
what's written here is the winner.
[08:00] Maki
Ready, and...
[08:02] Maki
Start.
[08:04] Nagumo
Uh, do we really need to be outside for this?
[08:08] Mashiro INT
What is it?
[08:10] Mashiro INT
I can see what looks like
an "E" here and there.
[08:12] Mashiro INT
Is it English?
[08:14] Mashiro INT
I can't get enough information
from the other characters, though.
[08:17] Mashiro INT
Are they actually drawings?
[08:21] Asunaro
Maki-chan, this is too easy.
[08:23] Mashiro
Say what?
[08:25] Asunaro
The answer is pi.
[08:27] Asunaro
Those are the unlit parts
on a seven-segment display, yes?
[08:31] Maki
Tsk. That's correct.
[08:33] Asunaro
You won't even look at the winner?!
[08:35] Mashiro
Hey! That was way too fast!
[08:38] Mashiro
I bet you knew the answer in advance.
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Mashiro
SIGN Asunaro
SIGN Those who study
three times, four times,
or five times more than
anyone are geniuses.
—Noguchi Hideyo
[08:40] Asunaro
"Those who study three times, four times,
or five times more than anyone...
[08:44] Asunaro
are geniuses."—Noguchi Hideyo.
[08:49] Mashiro
You little...
[08:50] Asunaro
Also, do you even know what pi is?
[08:53] Mashiro
Of course I do!
Are you tryna pick a fight?!
[08:56] Maki
Our final contest is one of stamina.
[08:59] Mashiro
What's that?
[09:00] Maki
Let's call it a "stamp rally race," shall we?
[09:04] Maki
You'll collect stamps I've placed
in three locations around the park.
[09:07] Maki
The first to make it back here is the winner.
[09:10] Asunaro
I'll help you search for your next job.
[09:13] Mashiro
Keep talkin', buddy.
[09:15] Maki
Now, on your marks.
[09:18] Maki
Ready...
[09:19] Maki
Start.
[09:22] Maki
If you're not going to
take this seriously, I'm leaving.
[09:25] Asunaro
Bold of you to slam into me like
a sumo wrestler, you cowardly muscle-girl.
[09:29] Mashiro
I should be calling you the coward,
you four-eyed shitbag!
[09:34] Maki
I'm sorry you have to go along
with this nonsense.
[09:37] Nagumo
Oh, it's fine.
[09:39] Maki
Master—that is, Asunaro—
admires you deeply.
[09:44] Maki
You're all he ever talks about.
[09:47] Nagumo
He's got some weird taste, then.
[09:50] Maki
He wants you to reclaim your former shine.
[09:56] Maki
His wish for you to return to
center stage has brought him this far.
SIGN First Stamp
[10:01] Nagumo
Do I look that much duller now?
[10:04] Maki
Oh! I'm sorry! That's not what I meant!
[10:07] Nagumo
Nah, I was just joking.
[10:10] Nagumo
Asunaro-kun reminds me of myself
when I was younger.
[10:14] Maki
Huh?
[10:15] Nagumo
I bet he's enjoying
the hell out of this stage,
[10:18] Nagumo
where his skills respond and grow so quickly.
[10:21] Nagumo
He's in no doubt that
he can keep it up forever.
SIGN Third Stamp
[10:24] Nagumo
The only way he differs from
the younger me is he has support.
[10:30] Nagumo
I had no one, much less a partner who'd give
me a push or rein me in when I needed it.
[10:37] Nagumo
So I envy him, really.
[10:39] Nagumo
A partner who's your own age
is probably easier to talk to.
[10:44] Maki
His own age?
[10:48] Maki
I guess I'm still worth
keeping around for a while.
[10:50] Nagumo
Hm? You say something?
[10:53] Maki
No, nothing.
[10:55] Maki
So is that girl your support now?
[10:58] Nagumo
Hm, I'm not sure.
[11:02] Maki
I think you make quite a good pair.
[11:04] Nagumo
Yeah?
[11:06] Maki
Of course, you needn't worry
about Asunaro's oath.
[11:09] Maki
Even if she loses,
please don't fire Mashiro-chan.
[11:13] Nagumo
Oh, it's all good.
[11:19] Nagumo
No one can beat Mashiro
in a contest of stamina.
[11:26] Maki
It pains me to say anything
that constitutes praise for Asunaro...
[11:30] Maki
but I don't think she has a chance.
[11:34] Asunaro
What's the matter?
You're awfully short of breath!
[11:37] Asunaro
I've trained to anticipate any outcome,
no matter the task, since I was a child.
[11:42] Asunaro
I am fundamentally different from a civilian
like you who merely has athletic prowess.
[11:48] Mashiro INT
Damn it. My body feels so heavy.
[11:52] Asunaro
Maki-chan!
[11:54] Mashiro INT
If I lose, I won't be able
to stay with the old dude.
[11:58] Mashiro INT
If I lose... If I lose...
[12:01] Mashiro INT
If I lose...
SIGN My Talents
These Days
Are Crazy!
[12:08] Mashiro INT
Like hell...
[12:10] Mashiro
...am I letting that happen!
[12:12] Asunaro
Removing your top layer to reduce weight?
I appreciate your refusal to give up.
[12:18] Asunaro
Go on, throw it all away.
It will do nothing to close the gap.
[12:23] Asunaro
No matter...
[12:24] Asunaro
how much you toss...
[12:27] Asunaro
Wait, how much are you even carrying?!
[12:30] Maki
Wh-What on earth is that?
[12:32] Nagumo
Her storage technique.
[12:35] Mashiro INT
Okay! I've purged
all the stuff I was carrying.
[12:37] Mashiro INT
Now I just need to catch up.
[12:39] Mashiro INT
I can do this. Just another step.
[12:41] Mashiro INT
After all...
[12:45] Mashiro
I've been through plenty
of tough training myself!
[12:51] (Flashback) Coach
Okay, that's enough.
[12:53] (Flashback) Coach
Well done for enduring
all of this tough training.
[12:57] (Flashback) Coach
You have completed every lesson.
There is nothing more I can teach you.
[13:02] (Flashback) Mashiro
Coach... Can I be...
[13:05] (Flashback) Mashiro
a full-fledged... detective now?
[13:09] (Flashback) Coach
Of course.
[13:11] (Flashback) Coach
Yes. A detective.
[13:14] (Flashback) Coach
A detective?
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Mashiro
SIGN Asunaro
[13:17] (Flashback) Coach
What's a detective?
[13:23] Asunaro
I have been defeated today,
[13:26] Asunaro
but I will, without a doubt,
take your position next time.
[13:29] Asunaro
I suppose I have found a rival
where I least expected to.
[13:33] Asunaro
I will not lose next time.
[13:35] Mashiro
Oh, okay.
[13:37] Asunaro
How very odd.
[13:39] Asunaro
At a time like this,
shouldn't the other party say
[13:41] Asunaro
something like, "You did well yourself,"
[13:44] Asunaro
giving the sense that
a new rivalry has been born?
[13:47] Asunaro
What could it mean?
[13:48] Mashiro
You're annoying as hell!
Just go away already!
[13:51] Asunaro
No need to tell me. I'm leaving.
[13:53] Asunaro
Maki-chan, time to go! Maki-chan!
[13:56] Nagumo
Oh, she already left.
[13:59] Nagumo
She said she was expecting a delivery.
[14:01] Asunaro
Maki-chan!
[14:02] Asunaro
Maki-chan! You're taking
your mischief a bit too far!
[14:07] Nagumo
I didn't even do anything, and I'm exhausted.
[14:11] Mashiro
Are you okay with that, old dude?
[14:15] Mashiro
I mean, if you made him your assistant,
you'd get money for it.
[14:20] Mashiro
Wouldn't he be a better assistant than m—
[14:23] Mashiro
Hey! You're gonna shrink me!
[14:23] Nagumo
What're you acting like
a considerate adult for?
[14:27] Nagumo
So long as you bring in more money
than he does, there's no problem.
[14:32] Nagumo
You can do that, right?
[14:40] Mashiro
Yeah!
[14:48] Nagumo
I'm broke.
[14:50] Mashiro
I told you, I can lend you some.
[14:53] Asunaro
You seem to be in a bind.
[14:55] Mashiro
Gah! You again?!
[14:57] Asunaro
I didn't pick the lock today.
[14:59] Mashiro
Why are you here? You're not after
a revenge match already, are you?
[15:02] Asunaro
Why am I here?
[15:06] Asunaro
Well, why else?
[15:08] Asunaro
I'm here to ask Sensei to do a job for—
[15:10] Maki
I'm sorry about all the fuss
last time, Nagumo-sensei.
[15:13] Maki
Please enjoy these
with Mashiro-san, if you'd like.
[15:17] Mashiro
Ooh, yokan.
[15:18] Nagumo
You didn't have to go out of your way.
[15:20] Maki
Oh, no such thing.
[15:21] Asunaro
Excuse me, Maki-chan.
You seem to have spoken over me.
[15:24] Asunaro
Oh, by the way, I chose that yokan myself.
[15:27] Asunaro
As I was saying, I'm here to ask
Nagumo-sensei to do a job for me!
[15:28] Mashiro
I'm gonna cut this yokan.
Have a seat, Maki-chan.
[15:30] Maki
Oh, thank you.
[15:32] Mashiro
This is some fatty yokan!
[15:34] Nagumo
Have you never heard of chestnut yokan?
[15:37] Asunaro
Wait. Could it be? Am I actually dead?
[15:41] Mashiro
Yeah, sorry. I took the
teasing a little too far.
SIGN The Ones Who Don't
Realize They're Stalkers
Are the Most Dangerous
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[15:50] Nagumo
You've got a job for me?
What brought this on?
[15:55] Asunaro
The thing is...
[15:56] Asunaro
I am being hounded by a stalker.
[15:59] Nagumo/Mashiro
A stalker? You?
[16:01] Asunaro
Yes.
[16:02] Asunaro
Recently, whenever I'm alone, I get this
indescribable sensation of eyes fixed on me.
[16:07] Asunaro
I try to pursue the person, but they're too
fast, so I have been unable to catch them.
[16:12] Maki
Master is... technically... somehow...
oddly popular for some reason,
[16:16] Maki
and he has some extreme fans.
[16:18] Maki
If something awful were to happen...
[16:22] Nagumo
I'll accept the job.
[16:25] Nagumo
After all...
[16:27] Nagumo
I could use a little stimulation.
[16:29] Asunaro
Wait, what's the matter?!
[16:31] Mashiro
The old dude has hyperesthesia.
[16:33] Maki
Sounds like you get enough stimulation.
SIGN Tarafuku
SIGN Cod Roe Land
SIGN Cod Roe — Tarafuku
[16:44] Mashiro
Tailing as a trio is kinda fun!
[16:47] Nagumo
Come on. This isn't a game.
[16:50] Maki
Oh, Master has stopped.
[16:53] Nagumo
He keeps staring at that guy in the glasses.
[16:55] Mashiro
You think he's the stalker?
[16:57] Nagumo
What? He solved the case himself?
[17:00] Asunaro
How very odd.
[17:02] Asunaro
That man doesn't look like he exercises,
but he's wearing earbuds meant for jogging.
[17:08] Asunaro
What could it mean?
[17:09] Nagumo
Whoa, that's a rude first impression.
[17:12] Maki
It is Master's belief that he should
be asking questions at all times.
[17:16] Mashiro
Oh, he stopped again.
[17:18] Nagumo
What's up this time?
[17:21] Asunaro
How very odd.
[17:22] Asunaro
That woman has her car
filled with cat knick-knacks,
[17:27] Asunaro
but her husband has the face of a dog.
[17:29] Asunaro
Is he gonna be doing this all day?
[17:31] Mashiro
I'd never want to live with him.
[17:34] Nagumo
Huh? Some kinda group is coming this way.
[17:36] Mashiro
Whoa, a whole flock of girls.
[17:39] Maki
That is also a daily occurrence.
[17:42] Mashiro
Uh, they're kinda engulfing him...
[17:45] Maki
That is also a daily occurrence.
[17:47] Mashiro
Oh, he's emerging.
[17:50] Mashiro
Wait, all his clothes got ripped off!
[17:53] Nagumo
Are those girls muggers or what?
[17:55] Maki
That is also a daily occurrence.
[17:57] Nagumo/Mashiro
For real?!
[17:59] Nagumo
Shouldn't we get him some clothes?
[18:02] Maki
Not to worry.
[18:05] Mashiro
Oh, a different set of fans.
[18:09] Nagumo
What was that, a pit stop?
[18:11] Maki
Most of Master's clothes
are gifts he receives from fans.
[18:15] Mashiro
Old dude, is there
any point in tailing this guy?
[18:19] Nagumo
You haven't noticed, Mashiro?
[18:21] Mashiro
Huh?
[18:22] Nagumo
Someone shady has been
following him this whole time.
[18:26] Nagumo
Two o'clock.
[18:30] Mashiro
Whoa, you're right! Who is that?
[18:32] Nagumo
No, more to the right.
[18:33] Nagumo
Although, yeah, that guy
looks pretty wild, too.
[18:37] Mashiro
That one, huh? You're right. Looks shady.
[18:40] Nagumo
Asunaro-kun, casually relocate
to the place I'm about to direct you to.
[18:44] Asunaro
Understood.
[18:58] Asunaro
Oh, you have only just noticed?
[19:01] Asunaro
You are quite the fool.
[19:02] Asunaro
You are already trapped.
[19:05] Asunaro
Now, why don't you tell me your reason?
[19:09] Asunaro
Why have you been stalking me?
[19:13] Shady Guy
S-Stalking? I'm not!
[19:16] Asunaro
Hmph. That's what they all say.
[19:18] Asunaro
The worst stalkers don't
even realize they're doing it.
[19:21] Shady Guy
I told you, I'm not!
[19:24] Asunaro
Did I not just tell you
that you were trapped?
[19:27] Asunaro
Do it, Sensei!
[19:31] Nagumo
Would you say you're tougher than a bear?
[19:39] Nagumo
It was a long damn time ago,
[19:42] Nagumo
but I once had a request to get rid of a bear
that was wrecking someone's field.
[19:49] Nagumo
Hey, I'm not done talki—
[19:51] Nagumo
Oh, that's bad, right?
That joint shouldn't bend that way.
[19:55] Asunaro
Sensei!
[19:56] Nagumo
M-Mashiro! Don't let him get past you!
[19:59] Mashiro
Understood.
[20:00] Mashiro
Go on. Choose left or right.
[20:03] Mashiro
I'll stop you either way.
[20:05] Shady Guy
Oh, hey, it's Murobuchi, the hammer thrower.
[20:07] Mashiro
What?! Murobuchi?!
[20:09] Mashiro
M-M-Murobuchi, um...
[20:12] Mashiro
I've always been a fan.
[20:13] Mashiro
Would you please arm-wrestle with me?
[20:14] Nagumo
Oh, come on! Are you really that gullible?
[20:17] Nagumo INT
Wait, how does he know what Mashiro's into?
[20:21] Nagumo
That's not important right now.
[20:22] Nagumo
Maki-san, it's up to you!
[20:24] Nagumo
You've gotta stop him!
[20:25] Maki
Huh? What?
[20:31] Nagumo
Didn't see that coming.
[20:34] Nagumo
You really saved the day.
[20:36] Nagumo
So that's why you dress the way you do, huh?
[20:38] Maki
Huh? No, really, that's not...
[20:41] Nagumo
Well, in any case, we finally got him.
[20:44] Asunaro
Now, why don't we take a look at his face?
[20:48] Nagumo
What? Nezu?
[20:50] Mashiro
Why is it you?
[20:51] Nezu
Y-You've got it all wrong!
I'm not a stalker!
[20:54] Mashiro
Why'd you run, then?
[20:56] Nezu
Well, you guys looked so serious,
and it was kinda scary, so...
[21:00] Nezu
But forget that! He's the stalker! Right there!
[21:03] Asunaro
Wh-What nonsense is this?
[21:05] Asunaro
Who is it you think I'm stalking?
[21:08] Nezu
Big Bro Nagumo, obviously!
[21:10] Nezu
He's been hanging around the agency
staring at it for about a month now.
[21:13] Nezu
Whenever Big Bro steps out, he follows him.
[21:15] Nezu
He's clearly a stalker!
[21:18] Maki
Master... What is the meaning of this?
[21:22] Asunaro
Wait, wait, wait! Maki-chan, it's a mistake!
[21:24] Maki
Where is the mistake?
[21:27] Asunaro
I was only watching for the right moment
to introduce myself to Sensei.
[21:33] Asunaro
I also thought, for future reference,
[21:36] Asunaro
I should find out his lifestyle patterns
and interests and such.
[21:40] Asunaro
Who could call such consideration "stalking"?
[21:43] Nagumo/Mashiro/Maki INT
I sure could.
[21:45] Maki
Master...
[21:48] Asunaro
No, Maki-chan! This isn't...
[21:51] Maki
I will hear your excuses later.
[21:55] Asunaro
Hup.
[21:57] Mashiro
Nezu-kun! Get the stalker!
[21:59] Nezu
Got it!
[22:01] Nagumo
They say the worst stalkers
don't even realize they're doing it.
[22:06] Nagumo
I guess they're right.
SIGN Next Time
SIGN Murder
at the
Mansion
of Screams
SIGN Murder
SIGN Maki-chan and the Generation Gap
SIGN Maki-chan and the Generation Gap
4 - Murder at the Mansion of Screams / Maki-chan and the Generation Gap
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[00:02] Nagumo INT
A certain wealthy man has sent me
an invite to a dinner party.
[00:05] Nagumo INT
A dinner party at an old villa
in the middle of nowhere.
[00:09] Nagumo INT
I feel a roiling in my chest.
[00:11] Nagumo INT
Is it my intuition as a detective?
[00:14] Nagumo INT
Or just baseless apprehension?
SIGN Invitation to a Social Gathering
[00:17] Nagumo INT
This letter gives me the distinct odor of—
[00:19] Mashiro
Yay! The old dude and I are
stepping out! I can't wait!
[00:23] Nagumo INT
...an incident—
[00:24] Mashiro
Think I'll need my toothbrush?
You taking yours?
[00:27] Nagumo INT
...an inci—
[00:27] Mashiro
Oh, I'm gonna take my own shampoo!
[00:32] Nagumo INTO
...an—
[00:32] Mashiro
You ready, old dude?
[00:33] Nagumo
You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
SIGN Murder
at the
Mansion
of Screams
SIGN Murder
[02:14] Mashiro
Isn't this super exciting, old dude?
[02:16] Nagumo
Why?
[02:17] Mashiro
I mean, how often do you
see situations like this?
[02:21] Mashiro
See, here's what I'm thinking.
[02:24] Mashiro
An old mansion isolated
from civilization by a rope bridge...
[02:27] Mashiro
It wouldn't be a surprise
to stumble across a corpse or two.
[02:31] Nagumo
Your imagination's getting away from you.
[02:35] Nagumo
This isn't TV. It's a dinner party.
[02:38] Nagumo
Just the indulgence of some bored rich guy.
[02:44] Nagumo
So this is it.
[02:46] Nagumo
Old Nagasaki House,
villa of the wealthy Kuroi Yasuo.
[02:50] Nagumo
Also known as the "Mansion of Screams."
[02:52] Nagumo
Apparently, there was a massacre
here a long time ago,
[02:56] Nagumo
and rumor has it, you can still
hear the screams to this day.
[03:00] Mashiro
Wow, talk about setting a mood.
[03:05] Watanabe
Hello, and welcome.
[03:08] Watanabe
Thank you for traveling so far.
SIGN Mansion
Staff
SIGN Watanabe
Kazuyuki
[03:10] Watanabe
My name is Watanabe.
[03:13] Watanabe
The dinner party has already begun.
Please, come in.
[03:17] Nagumo
A-All right, we'll do just that.
[03:20] Watanabe
Right this way.
[03:22] Watanabe
This promises to be
a delightful evening indeed.
[03:25] Mashiro
Okay, I can already tell you did it!
[03:27] Nagumo
I get where you're coming from,
but did what exactly?
[03:30] Watanabe
I apologize. I am too shy to reveal my face.
[03:34] Nagumo
And that's the mask design you chose?
[03:36] Watanabe
Right this way, please.
[03:39] Mashiro
Look at that burn! You got that while
grappling with the victim, didn't you?!
[03:44] Nagumo
Again, what victim?
[03:48] Tahara
Ah, the man of the hour has arrived.
[03:51] Tahara
The great detective, Nagumo Keiichiro.
SIGN Photo-
grapher
SIGN Tahara
Gou
[03:54] Tahara
Gotta be rough on you, having to play along
with the old geezer's debauchery.
SIGN Movie
Director
SIGN Shiraishi
Megumi
[03:58] Shiraishi
Kuroi-san gathers people from all walks
of life for a dinner like this every year.
SIGN Musician
Oki Manabu
[04:04] Oki
Wow, I remember you! You're the
high school detective, Nagumo Keiichiro!
[04:08] Saito
You two should stay the night, too.
SIGN Martial
Artist
SIGN Hasegawa
Masataka
SIGN Comedian
SIGN Hiro
Saito
[04:12] Saito
That mountain road is dangerous at night.
[04:14] Mashiro
That guy in the hood looks shady,
but I bet he's actually innocent.
[04:18] Nagumo
Yeah, sure.
[04:20] Mashiro
So how long has he been
hosting these parties, anyway?
[04:23] Watanabe
He's held them every year
for fifteen years now.
[04:27] Watanabe
Well, excluding three years ago, of course.
[04:33] Nagumo INT
Three years ago? What happened then?
[04:36] Nagumo INT
Nah, it'd be pretty insensitive
to poke at old wounds.
[04:39] Mashiro
Did something happen three years ago?
[04:41] Nagumo INT
Mashiro!
[04:42] Watanabe
Oh, I came down with the flu, you see.
[04:44] Nagumo
That's such a lame reason.
[04:48] Miyano
Hey. S'been a while.
[04:51] Asunaro
I'm glad to see you're all well.
[04:53] Tahara
You're...
[04:55] Tahara
Miyano!
SIGN Magazine
Editor
SIGN Miyano
Shigeru
[04:56] Miyano
What? Got a problem with me being here?
[04:58] Watanabe
It appears everyone is here now.
[05:00] Shiraishi
Hold on, Watanabe-san!
We were promised Miyano wouldn't be invited!
[05:04] Watanabe
I-I'm so sorry. I completely forgot.
[05:07] Miyano
Aw, c'mon.
[05:08] Miyano
Don't be so cold, Megumi.
[05:10] Shiraishi
Keep my name out of your mouth!
[05:12] Mashiro
I think something happened between those two.
[05:14] Nagumo
Yeah...
[05:15] Asunaro
Indeed.
[05:16] Oki
Actually, they used to be married.
[05:19] Nagumo
Oki-san?
[05:20] Oki
They split up because
Miyano got violent with her,
[05:23] Oki
but then, they got into
a nasty battle over custody.
[05:26] Oki
They still fight like cats and dogs.
[05:29] Nagumo
Why are you looking at me with eyes
that say, "grown-ups are gross"?
[05:33] Shiraishi
I can't be around this man!
[05:36] Shiraishi
Watanabe-san, I'm borrowing the shower!
[05:38] Watanabe
O-Of course.
[05:39] Mashiro
I think she just set a massive flag.
[05:42] Nagumo
It does sound like there's trouble ahead.
[05:44] Asunaro
I agree.
[05:46] Mashiro
Anyway, why don't we go ahead
and get some food?
[05:48] Nagumo
Sure.
[05:49] Mashiro
Man, I'm so hungry.
[05:51] Asunaro
I'm right here! How is it even possible
for you to ignore me right now?!
[05:55] Nagumo
Oh, sorry. You're here, huh?
[05:57] Mashiro
I thought you were an Asunaro-shaped
smudge on my contact lens.
[06:00] Asunaro
Are you really that bad at lying?!
[06:02] Asunaro
Well, if you must know, this is
my second time attending this dinner party.
[06:06] Mashiro
You'll take any opening
to talk about yourself.
[06:09] Mashiro
Hey, Asunaro, doesn't it feel like
some kind of incident is about to happen?
[06:13] Nagumo
Sorry. She's been talking like that all night.
[06:16] Asunaro
No, Nagumo-sensei.
[06:18] Asunaro
In fact, I have detected
a faint whiff of mystery myself.
[06:23] Asunaro
This food, for example.
[06:24] Mashiro
You don't think it's poisoned, do you?!
[06:27] Asunaro
I told them last year
that I can't stand tomatoes,
[06:30] Asunaro
yet the main dish is tomato-based.
[06:32] Mashiro
Don't stand so close to me.
I don't want people thinking I know you.
[06:35] Mashiro
It's so weird.
[06:37] Mashiro
With all these elements in place,
there's no way nothing's gonna happen.
[06:41] Mashiro
Like, we suddenly hear a scream or—
[06:43] Tahara
Was that Shiraishi?
[06:45] Watanabe
The shower room is on the second floor.
[06:47] Mashiro
What do we do, old dude?
[06:50] Nagumo
What? You heard something?
[06:53] Mashiro
Oh, come on! Get it together!
[06:55] Nagumo
No, seriously, I can't hear
high-pitched sounds.
[06:57] Mashiro
This is the problem with old dudes!
[06:59] Nagumo
Shiraishi-san! Shiraishi-san,
please open the door!
[07:03] Nagumo
No response.
[07:04] Nagumo
Watanabe-san, do you have a master key?
[07:06] Watanabe
It's in the basement storage.
[07:08] Nagumo
We don't have time to wait around.
[07:10] Nagumo
Sorry, door. I'm gonna have to break you down!
[07:14] Nagumo
Oh, yeah, pretty sure I hurt
my shoulder. Like, for real.
[07:18] Mashiro
Ugh! Just stand back, old dude!
Like, all the way back!
[07:27] Watanabe
I'm sure she just saw a cockroach
or something in the shower.
[07:31] Mashiro
It's okay. I've simulated this over and over.
[07:34] Mashiro
Even if I find a body,
don't freak out. Don't panic.
[07:38] Mashiro
Just try to preserve the crime scene.
[07:40] Mashiro
The crime scene.
[07:41] Nagumo
Don't look, Mashiro.
You don't need to know this life yet.
[07:46] Mashiro
Old dude.
[07:49] Shiraishi
C-C-Cockroach.
[07:52] Nagumo INT
She really did just see
a cockroach in the shower.
[07:56] Shiraishi
Oh, that gave me such a fright!
[07:58] Nagumo
After all that wishing
for an incident to happen...
[08:00] Watanabe
Well, she is at a very curious age, after all.
[08:04] Watanabe
Now, Mashiro-san, allow me to explain
the tragedy that took place here.
[08:10] Watanabe
This was once the home of Nagasaki Kanpachi,
a man who attained great wealth through trade.
[08:16] Watanabe
One day, a man with a grudge against
Kanpachi broke into Nagasaki House,
[08:21] Watanabe
and slaughtered the whole family
with a billhook.
[08:25] Watanabe
To ensure that none of his victims escaped,
the man had cut the rope bridge,
[08:30] Watanabe
the only thing connecting the house
to the outside world, in advance.
[08:34] Watanabe
Thankfully, the eldest daughter
happened to be visiting a friend that day,
[08:37] Watanabe
so she alone survived.
[08:39] Watanabe
One stormy day, fifteen years ago...
[08:43] Watanabe
...today.
[08:47] Nagumo
That was nearby.
[08:48] Asunaro
Look!
[08:50] Nagumo
That's where the rope bridge is.
[08:53] Asunaro
This isn't good.
[08:54] Asunaro
If that bridge falls, there'll be no way
to get in and out of this estate.
[08:58] Mashiro
You don't mean...
[09:00] Asunaro
This mansion will become isolated.
[09:03] Asunaro
In other words, we'll all be locked in.
[09:05] Mashiro
Old dude, let's go check it out!
[09:07] Nagumo
R-Right.
[09:09] Watanabe
Will they be all right?
[09:12] Asunaro
Watanabe-san.
[09:14] Asunaro
That story about
the Nagasaki family massacre.
[09:17] Asunaro
I've looked into it myself,
and you're mistaken about one detail.
[09:22] Asunaro
You said the killer cut the rope bridge,
[09:25] Asunaro
but in truth, he burned it so that it would
look like it had been hit by lightning.
[09:30] Asunaro
What is the meaning of this?
[09:33] Watanabe
I-Is that right? I was only reading
the Wiki entry verbatim.
[09:39] Asunaro
Oh, I see.
[09:42] Nagumo
Looks like the bridge is fine.
[09:44] Mashiro
I guess the lightning hit that tree.
[09:46] Mashiro
But we should make absolutely sure.
[09:49] Mashiro
Some sparks could've flown onto the bridge.
[09:53] Nagumo
Hey, Mashiro.
[09:54] Mashiro
Hang on a sec!
[09:56] Mashiro
I feel like this support is a bit loose.
[10:00] Mashiro
Ah.
[10:05] Nagumo/Mashiro
Ah.
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
[10:15] Nagumo NAR
So far...
[10:16] Nagumo NAR
Nothing's really happened yet.
[10:20] Oki
Nagumo-sensei! Is the bridge all right?
[10:23] Nagumo
Everyone, please stay calm and listen to me.
[10:26] Nagumo
I have good news and bad news.
[10:29] Nagumo
First, the bad news.
[10:31] Nagumo
The bridge is out. Because Mashi—
[10:33] All
Say what?!
[10:34] Shiraishi
So we can't leave?
[10:36] Oki
That can't be. How could lightning
have taken out the bridge?
[10:40] Nagumo
Uh, it fell because Mashi—
[10:42] Tahara
You gotta be kidding me.
[10:44] Saito
I have a shoot tomorrow.
[10:46] Oki
So what's the good news?
[10:48] Nagumo
The good news is, uh, well...
[10:53] Nagumo
Sorry. I said that because
it sounded good, but there isn't any.
[10:58] Nagumo
Anyway, we should all stay inside the house
at least until the storm passes.
[11:03] Tahara
Well, this is a problem.
[11:06] Miyano
I get the feeling some kind
of incident is gonna happen.
[11:09] Masami
Indeed. I do feel a bit uneasy.
SIGN Clown
SIGN Ichijo
Masami
[11:12] Nagumo
Wait, wait, wait! And who are you?!
[11:15] Masami
Who am I? I'm Masamin, of course.
[11:17] Nagumo
Using a nickname right off the bat
doesn't help. When'd you even get here?
[11:21] Masami
Around the time he mentioned the flu.
[11:23] Nagumo
So basically the whole time?!
You could've introduced yourself!
[11:26] Miyano
Hey, Mr. Detective.
[11:29] Miyano
You said the bridge was out,
[11:32] Miyano
but was it really the lightning that did it?
[11:34] Miyano
Or did someone take it out?
[11:37] Nagumo
Well, yes, actually—
[11:39] Miyano
I knew it! Just as I thought!
[11:42] Miyano
The situation we find ourselves in now
[11:44] Miyano
is exactly the same as
the Nagasaki family massacre.
[11:48] Miyano
What's the killer after? That's obvious.
[11:51] Miyano
He wants to hear screams ring
all through this mansion,
[11:53] Miyano
just like on that tragic night so long ago!
[12:01] Nagumo/Mashiro INT
This just took a very unexpected turn!
[12:04] Miyano
That's what you were about
to say, right, great detective?
[12:07] Nagumo
Huh? Um, w-well, I mean...
[12:12] Nagumo
Precisely.
[12:13] Mashiro INT
He went with it!
[12:15] Nagumo
As Miyano-san says, the killer is trying
to recreate the Nagasaki family massacre.
[12:23] Nagumo
Just like fifteen years ago, he's taken out
the bridge on a stormy night,
[12:27] Nagumo
isolating the mansion. That's step one.
[12:30] Oki
But why would he want to do this?
[12:33] Nagumo
Well, um, I...
[12:37] Nagumo
My assistant will explain.
[12:38] Mashiro
What? Me?!
[12:40] Mashiro
S-Since I didn't introduce myself
before, I'm Mashiro.
[12:44] Mashiro
Uh, the objective of the person
who destroyed the bridge is most likely...
[12:50] Mashiro
revenge.
[12:51] Nagumo INT
She went with it!
[12:52] Tahara
Revenge? For what?
[12:55] Mashiro
Most likely, against someone connected
to the incident fifteen years ago.
[12:59] Oki
Do you have some idea who that might be?
[13:03] Mashiro
Yes, of course!
[13:04] Nagumo
Hey!
[13:05] Mashiro
S-Sorry, I couldn't help it.
[13:07] Nagumo
What're you gonna do now?
You're the one who took out the bridge.
[13:10] Mashiro
But you're the one
who started this whole thing.
[13:13] Oki
Everything okay?
SIGN All Good
[13:14] Nagumo/Mashiro
All good.
[13:16] Mashiro
So yeah, someone connected
to the incident fifteen years ago,
[13:20] Mashiro
who holds some sort of grudge
against someone here.
[13:23] Mashiro
That would be...
[13:25] Mashiro
for the high school detective,
Asunaro, to explain, not me!
[13:29] Asunaro
Huh?!
[13:30] Miyano
Well? Who's the bad guy?!
[13:32] Asunaro
Ah, um...
[13:35] Asunaro
Even amid the ear-piercing lightning,
the culprit's desperate, frantic pulse...
[13:39] Asunaro
is somehow easily heard.
[13:41] Nagumo INT
He went with it!
[13:43] Asunaro
The one who took out the rope bridge...
[13:46] Asunaro
was you, wasn't it, Shiraishi-san?
[13:49] Shiraishi
M-Me? I don't know what
you're talking about.
[13:52] Asunaro
There was one survivor of the incident
fifteen years ago, was there not?
[13:57] Asunaro
The eldest Nagasaki daughter,
fourteen years old at the time,
[14:00] Asunaro
making her twenty-nine now, just like you.
[14:03] Asunaro
Shiraishi-san, you are
the survivor of that incident,
[14:06] Asunaro
and you're here to avenge your family.
[14:09] Asunaro
Am I wrong?
[14:11] Nagumo/Mashiro INT
Huh?! Is he gonna get away with that?!
[14:18] Shiraishi
That's right. I'm the sole survivor
of the Nagasaki family.
[14:22] Nagumo/Mashiro INT
She went wi—wait, what?!
[14:24] Shiraishi
After the incident,
I looked into the killer's background,
[14:28] Shiraishi
and learned something shocking.
[14:31] Shiraishi
The killer was a relative of Kuroi,
the head of this household,
[14:35] Shiraishi
and he used Kuroi's influence
to cover up his crime.
[14:39] Shiraishi
I couldn't stand for it.
[14:40] Shiraishi
I falsified my identity to get here,
[14:43] Shiraishi
so I could get closer to Kuroi
and find an opportunity to kill him.
[14:47] Shiraishi
And today, I'd recreate
the scene from fifteen years ago,
[14:51] Shiraishi
only this time, I'd be the one to kill him.
[14:53] Shiraishi
That was my plan, and yet...
[14:59] Shiraishi
Though I wasn't expecting the bomb
I rigged on the bridge to go off so soon.
[15:04] Nagumo INT
Wait, really?
[15:07] Miyano
Megumi.
[15:09] Shiraishi
I only hooked up with you because I wanted
access to the media's information network.
[15:15] Shiraishi
I just have the worst luck.
[15:17] Shiraishi
Of all things, to think
there'd be three detectives here...
[15:23] Shiraishi
Tell me, Mr. Detective.
[15:25] Shiraishi
Why do you people always just
happen to be on the scene?
[15:30] Nagumo
You've got it backwards, Shiraishi-san.
[15:32] Nagumo
It's not that detectives are drawn to crimes.
[15:36] Nagumo
We just have this useless fate
that makes incidents drawn to us.
[15:40] Nagumo
That's what detectives are.
[15:43] Mashiro INT
He managed to wrap it all up so gracefully!
[15:48] Mashiro
So how are we supposed to get home?
The bridge is gone.
[15:52] Nagumo
Yeah, thanks to you, remember?
[15:53] Mashiro
Hey, you finally got to say it, old dude.
[15:59] Maki
Everyone, I've come to pick you up.
[16:02] Mashiro
Hey! Maki-chan!
[16:04] Nagumo
Asunaro-kun, you have a helicopter?
[16:07] Asunaro
Thanks, Maki-chan!
[16:08] Maki
Will you be coming or staying, Master?
You want to stay, right?
[16:12] Asunaro
Uh, no! Why would that be multiple-choice?
[16:16] Mashiro
Whoa, we're so high up!
[16:19] Nagumo
Hey, Asunaro-kun.
[16:21] Asunaro
What is it?
[16:22] Nagumo
How'd you know Shiraishi-san was the killer?
[16:25] Asunaro
Instinct.
[16:26] Nagumo
That's all?!
[16:27] Maki
Master's instincts are abnormally keen.
[16:30] Asunaro
Well, you know, in cases like this,
[16:32] Asunaro
the woman often ends up
surprising everyone, right?
[16:36] Nagumo
Uh, I guess?
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[16:40] Mashiro
That was actually pretty fun, huh?
[16:42] Mashiro
What's wrong, old dude? You look so grim.
[16:46] Nagumo
You didn't notice?
[16:47] Nagumo
We never even saw Kuroi.
[16:51] Nagumo
The host, absent from his own party?
[16:53] Nagumo
Something's clearly off with that.
[16:57] Mashiro
No, he was there.
[16:59] Nagumo
What?!
[17:00] Nagumo
Wh-Where? When did he show up?
[17:02] Mashiro
When you were picking on that clown.
[17:04] Nagumo
Zero presence!
[17:06] Mashiro
Also, apparently, Shiraishi-san
was mistaken about the whole thing.
[17:09] Nagumo
Huh?
[17:10] Mashiro
That stuff about the Nagasaki family massacre
and Kuroi covering it up was all a mistake.
[17:16] Mashiro
Everyone in Shiraishi-san's
family is alive and well.
[17:18] Nagumo
So it all worked out peacefully in the end.
[17:21] Nagumo
It really was just me
being anxious for no reason.
[17:26] Nagumo INT
No, I'm not just imagining
this roiling feeling in my chest.
[17:29] Nagumo INT
There's still a hidden darkness
behind this case.
[17:33] Nagumo
Mashiro, we're going back to that mansion.
[17:35] Mashiro
Huh? To do what?
[17:37] Nagumo
You know what.
[17:40] Nagumo
To find the last piece we need
to solve this case.
[17:46] Mashiro NAR
There was no piece to find,
[17:48] Mashiro NAR
and the roiling feeling in his chest
was just age-related reflux esophagitis.
[17:56] Mashiro
Huh? He should be around here.
[17:59] Asunaro
I got mine near here.
[18:02] Mashiro
Did he run away?
[18:04] Mashiro
Uh, no, I'm right here.
[18:07] Mashiro
Ah, there he is!
[18:10] Mashiro
Got ya, Bikajuu!
[18:12] Nagumo
Hey, watch it!
[18:13] Nagumo
What the hell are you guys up to?
I've been right here the whole time.
[18:17] Mashiro
Yay, I caught him!
[18:19] Asunaro
Sensei, have you really
not heard of "Mokemon GO"?
[18:22] Nagumo
The hell is that?
SIGN Bikajuu
SIGN Bikajuu
SIGN Lightning
[18:23] Asunaro
A smartphone app that uses GPS
functionality in conjunction with AR
[18:27] Asunaro
to allow players to hunt
Mokemon in the real world.
[18:33] Nagumo
Sorry, but my Español is a bit rusty.
[18:37] Asunaro
I was speaking the same language
I always do, Sensei.
[18:40] Mashiro
It took him a whole month to learn
how to take pictures with a phone.
[18:44] Mashiro
It'll probably take him until
the next total solar eclipse to learn this.
[18:48] Nagumo
That's not for another ten years.
[18:50] Nagumo
I'm not that stupid.
[18:53] Maki
Pardon me.
[18:54] Maki
Is my master here?
[18:57] Mashiro
Hey, Maki-chan! Long time no see!
[18:59] Maki
Um, it's good to see you again.
[19:01] Mashiro
Maki-chan, I'm not using my camera.
[19:05] Mashiro
Hey, Maki-chan, guess what?
I caught a Bikajuu! Isn't that awesome?
[19:10] Maki
Huh?
[19:11] Nagumo
C'mon, Maki-san's not gonna get it
if you just start talking about this "Bikajuu."
[19:15] Mashiro
Sure she will! All young people
know about it! Right, Maki-chan?
[19:20] Maki
O-Of course! I just love B-B-B-Bikajuu!
[19:25] Mashiro
Me, too! What's your favorite thing about it?
[19:28] Maki
H-How it goes so well
with white rice, I guess?
[19:34] Maki
What the heck is "Bikajuu," anyway?
[19:37] Maki
Since when did that kinda creature exist?
[19:41] Nagumo INT
She's not in high school?
[19:43] Maki
'Scuse me! Another draft beer, please!
[19:46] Maki
And some stingray fin!
[19:48] Nagumo INT
Just how old is she?
SIGN Maki-chan and the Generation Gap
SIGN Maki-chan and the Generation Gap
[19:54] Maki
I'm doin' my best, too, ya know.
[19:57] Maki
But youth culture changes so fast nowadays.
[20:01] Nagumo
Mm-hmm.
[20:02] Maki
Master doesn't even know what a beeper is.
[20:05] Maki
Can you believe that?
[20:08] Nagumo
Mashiro didn't even know
what a telephone card was.
SIGN Small
SIGN Items
SIGN Small
SIGN Items
SIGN Small
SIGN Items
[20:11] (Flashback) Mashiro FB
A-hup.
SIGN Small
SIGN Items
SIGN Small
SIGN Items
SIGN Small
SIGN Items
[20:13] (Flashback) Mashiro FB
"Telephone card"? What's this?
SIGN Telephone Card
SIGN Telephone Card
SIGN Telephone Card
SIGN Telephone Card
SIGN Telephone Card
SIGN Telephone Card
SIGN Telephone Card
[20:17] (Flashback) Nagumo FB
What, you don't even know
what a telephone card is?
[20:19] (Flashback) Mashiro FB
O-Of course I do! I'm a heavy user, in fact!
[20:22] (Flashback) Nagumo FB
Okay, you can have that one. Try it out.
[20:31] (Flashback) Mashiro FB
H-Hello?
[20:34] (Flashback) Mashiro FB
Why are you taking a burst shot? Jerk!
[20:35] (Flashback) Nagumo FB
It's just so unbelievable, I couldn't help it.
[20:38] Maki
Yeah, kids these days don't
know about telephone cards.
[20:42] Maki
I once asked Master
if he knew how to use one...
[20:47] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
What a silly question.
You seem to think I'm a fool.
[20:51] (Flashback) Maki FB
I do, yes.
[20:52] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Waiter!
[20:53] (Flashback) Waiter FB
Yes?
[20:53] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Tell the chef today's meal
was fantastic as always. And...
[20:57] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
can I pay with this telephone card?
[21:01] (Flashback) Waiter FB
Pardon?
[21:03] Maki
It showed me just
how quickly time has flown by,
[21:07] Maki
and then I got depressed.
[21:14] Maki
Is this what they call a "generation gap"?
[21:18] Nagumo
Maki-san, you might want
to call it for the night.
[21:21] Maki
I know, right? Today was so much fun.
[21:26] Maki
I'm so glad I got to talk to you,
Nagumo-sensei.
[21:29] Nagumo
I'm just glad I could be of help.
[21:32] Nagumo
I'm surprised, though.
[21:33] Nagumo
I didn't know you were older
than Mashiro and Asunaro-kun.
[21:37] Maki INT
Oh, crap!
[21:39] Nagumo
And you can drink even more than me.
[21:41] Maki
I-I can't drink alcohol.
[21:44] Nagumo
Huh?
[21:45] Maki
Th-This is, um, high-volume barley tea.
[21:51] Nagumo
But you're not a minor, right?
[21:55] Maki
I-I'm, uh, twenty-mrmmff years old.
[21:59] Nagumo
Mrmmff?
[22:03] Maki
I've never heard of
telephone cards or beepers.
[22:07] Maki
And I love Bikajuu.
SIGN Next Time
SIGN Welcome to the World of Grown-Ups
SIGN Welcome to the World of Grown-Ups
SIGN A Midsummer
Thriller
SIGN A Midsummer
Thriller
SIGN A Midsummer
Thriller
SIGN Mashiro
and the
Agent
from the
Stars
SIGN Mashiro
and the
Agent
from the
Stars
5 - Welcome to the World of Grown-ups / A Midsummer Thriller / Mashiro and the Agent from the Stars
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Mashiro
Ta-da! Mashiro's special
sea bass acqua pazza!
[00:04] Mashiro
Go on. Give it a taste.
[00:08] Nagumo
Mm. S'good.
SIGN Man with
Dead Taste Buds
[00:10] Mashiro
Huh?!
[00:11] Mashiro
Excuse me? I worked hard to make that!
Do you have to sound so unimpressed?
[00:18] Nagumo
Look, Mashiro.
To me, the thing about cooking is...
[00:22] Nagumo
As long as it's salty and
goes good with rice, I'll eat it.
[00:27] Mashiro
My efforts are wasted on you.
[00:29] Mashiro
I guess my cooking is too grown-up
for a child's tastes.
[00:32] Nagumo
Hey!
[00:33] Nagumo
I have a very discerning palate, okay?
[00:35] Mashiro
Liar. I bet you can't even
tell booze from diesel fuel.
[00:39] Nagumo
That's going too far.
[00:41] Nagumo
Even I have a favorite bar
I go to all the time.
[00:44] Mashiro
Yeah? So take me there, then.
[00:46] Nagumo
Sure, anytime.
[00:49] Nagumo
Just be ready, Mashiro.
[00:51] Nagumo
You're gonna see me at that bar and learn...
[00:55] Nagumo
the charm of adulthood.
[00:57] Mashiro INT
Should you really be saying that
while eating a baby castella cake?
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
SIGN Welcome to the World of Grown-Ups
SIGN Welcome to the World of Grown-Ups
[02:34] Mashiro
Tonto?
[02:35] Nagumo
It's an old bar I go to all the time.
[02:38] Nagumo
Just so you know,
a lot of legit adults go there.
[02:42] Nagumo
Try not to let the mood swallow you.
[02:43] Mashiro
No problem there. I bet you only go...
SIGN Daytime Drinks
SIGN Daytime Drinks
SIGN Deal!
SIGN Yen
SIGN Yen
SIGN Draft Beer
SIGN Draft Beer
SIGN m 0 0 l 98 10 100 118 1 100
SIGN M-size mug
[02:47] Mashiro
...to places like this, anyway.
[02:49] Nagumo
I mean, I go to those sometimes, too, but...
[02:53] Nagumo
This is Tonto.
[02:54] Nagumo
Wow. It looks so refined.
[02:57] Nagumo
The barkeep's really particular about style.
[03:00] Nagumo
If he sees anyone lacking in it,
he passes out, so be mindful of that.
SIGN m 0 0 l 0 0 l 23 0 b 24 0 24 1 24 1 l 24 14 b 24 15 23 15 23 15 l -21 15 b -21 15 -22 15 -22 14 l -22 1 b -22 1 -22 1 -22 1 b -22 1 -22 0 -21 0 l -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0
SIGN m 50 0 b 100 0 100 100 50 100 b 0 100 0 0 50 0
SIGN What's Grown-up About Tonto? 1
The barkeep is pathologically stylish
[03:15] Mashiro INT
Wow, the barkeep looks refined, too!
[03:19] Bronto
Well, now.
[03:21] Bronto
Ain't this a surprise?
SIGN Ain't this a surprise?
[03:23] Bronto
Looks like a cute little puppy
has wandered into this bar.
SIGN What's a cute little puppy doing here?
[03:27] Bronto
That your pup, Naddy?
SIGN That your pup, Naddy?
[03:30] Nagumo
Don't be stupid, Bronto. She's my assistant.
SIGN No. Just my assistant.
[03:33] Mashiro INT
Wait, who's Naddy?
[03:35] Mashiro INT
And who's Bronto?
[03:36] Bronto
Your assistant, Naddy?
[03:39] Bronto
That's a real laugh.
[03:41] Bronto
Want some milk or something, little lady?
SIGN m 0 0 l 0 0 l 23 0 b 24 0 24 1 24 1 l 24 14 b 24 15 23 15 23 15 l -21 15 b -21 15 -22 15 -22 14 l -22 1 b -22 1 -22 1 -22 1 b -22 1 -22 0 -21 0 l -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0
SIGN m 50 0 b 100 0 100 100 50 100 b 0 100 0 0 50 0
SIGN What's Grown-up About Tonto? 2
They all use nicknames
[03:45] Mashiro INT
What kind of weird atmosphere is this?
[03:47] Barkeep
What will it be?
[03:49] Mashiro
I'll have a drinkable yogurt.
[03:51] Nagumo
Barkeep!
[03:53] Mashiro
Huh? What just happened?!
[03:55] Nagumo
I warned you earlier.
[03:56] Nagumo
He passes out when he sees
anyone who's not stylish.
[04:00] Nagumo
Who orders drinkable yogurt in a bar?
[04:03] Mashiro
Huh? Oh, um, I'm so sorry.
[04:06] Barkeep
It's fine.
[04:07] Mashiro
Okay, then, barley tea.
[04:09] Nagumo
Barkeep!
[04:12] Bronto
Well, well, Naddy. Ain't this a laugh?
SIGN Well, well, Naddy. Ain't this a laugh?
[04:16] Bronto
Why don't you quit being a detective
and start a comedy duo with the puppy?
SIGN Why don't you two try becoming comedians?
[04:19] Mashiro INT
I can't help it. I'm a minor.
[04:22] Nagumo
Cut it out, Bronto. That ain't happening.
SIGN Don't tease us like that, Bronto.
[04:25] Bronto
Anyway, I'm just glad you seem well.
SIGN Anyway, you seem well, Naddy.
[04:28] Bronto
It's on me today.
SIGN Have one on me.
[04:30] Mashiro INT
Ooh! I've seen people do this on TV!
[04:32] Nagumo
Must be rain in store tomorrow.
SIGN I guess it's going to rain tomorrow.
[04:38] Mashiro INT
Th-This is...
[04:40] Bronto
Hey now, Naddy. I wasn't trying to buy
the Earth itself a round of scotch.
SIGN Hey now. I wasn't trying to buy the Earth itself a drink.
[04:45] Nagumo
There was a nice breeze today.
I wanted to show my gratitude. Y'know?
SIGN m 0 0 l 0 0 l 23 0 b 24 0 24 1 24 1 l 24 14 b 24 15 23 15 23 15 l -21 15 b -21 15 -22 15 -22 14 l -22 1 b -22 1 -22 1 -22 1 b -22 1 -22 0 -21 0 l -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0
SIGN m 50 0 b 100 0 100 100 50 100 b 0 100 0 0 50 0
SIGN What's Grown-up About Tonto? 3
They all cover up each other's mistakes
[04:51] Mashiro INT
They just glossed over it
with some stylish lines!
[04:54] Mashiro INT
But the barkeep...
[04:56] Mashiro INT
is in super high spirits!
[04:58] Mashiro INT
So this is the world of grown-ups?
[05:00] Mashiro INT
I'm not sure why, but I feel like
I'm gonna get sucked in.
[05:03] Mashiro INT
Okay! Gotta try to look more grown-up.
[05:08] Veronica
Oh?
SIGN Oh?
[05:09] Veronica
What an unusual customer.
SIGN What an unusual customer...
[05:13] Nagumo
Veronica.
SIGN Veronica.
[05:14] Mashiro
What country are these people from, anyway?
[05:16] Nagumo
Veronica's from Gunma.
[05:18] Mashiro
Gunma?!
SIGN Gunma
Prefecture
[05:19] Nagumo
The barkeep and Bronto are
both from Tomioka in Gunma.
[05:23] Mashiro
Tomioka?!
SIGN Tomioka
SIGN m 0 0 l 0 0 l 23 0 b 24 0 24 1 24 1 l 24 14 b 24 15 23 15 23 15 l -21 15 b -21 15 -22 15 -22 14 l -22 1 b -22 1 -22 1 -22 1 b -22 1 -22 0 -21 0 l -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0
SIGN m 50 0 b 100 0 100 100 50 100 b 0 100 0 0 50 0
SIGN What's Grown-up About Tonto? 4
Almost everyone's from Gunma
[05:24] Veronica
You know, Naddy,
you're like a migratory bird.
SIGN You know, Naddy, you're like a migratory bird.
[05:28] Veronica
By the time I've seen you,
it's already too late.
SIGN You're so quick to just up and disappear.
[05:31] Veronica
You're already preparing to fly away.
[05:34] Nagumo
Veronica, have you been drinking
elsewhere? I smell alcohol on you.
SIGN You been drinking elsewhere? I smell alcohol on you.
[05:39] Mashiro INT
Wow, that seems super grown-up.
[05:42] Mashiro INT
I have no clue what they're saying, though.
[05:44] Veronica
Oh? Who's the girl?
[05:46] Nagumo
My assistant, Mashiro. Don't pick on her.
[05:51] Mashiro
Ah, um...
[05:54] Veronica
Come back when you're out
of diapers, Pure White-chan.
[05:58] Mashiro
Wha—
[05:59] Mashiro
Don't treat me like a child!
[06:01] Mashiro
I might not look it,
but I'm a full-fledged woman.
[06:04] Veronica
Naddy is such a bad man,
making a child like this get so serious.
SIGN Naddy is such a bad man, making a child like this get so serious.
[06:09] Bronto
Ain't this a laugh?
SIGN Ain't this a laugh?
[06:11] Mashiro
That's all you've said this whole time!
[06:15] Nagumo
By the way, barkeep, you said you
had something to talk to me about?
[06:18] Barkeep
Yes.
[06:20] Barkeep
You see, for the past six months,
graffiti has been appearing on my bar.
[06:25] Nagumo
Graffiti?
[06:26] Barkeep
I clean it up, but it just comes back.
It's a game of cat and mouse.
[06:29] Barkeep
I don't know what to do.
[06:32] Nagumo
Barkeep.
[06:34] Nagumo
Are you asking me to do a job for you?
SIGN Is that a job request?
[06:37] Barkeep
Yes. I will pay you, of course.
[06:37] Barkeep
Yes. I will pay you.
[06:41] Nagumo
Sorry, barkeep.
I don't accept jobs on my days off.
[06:46] Mashiro
Old dude, he's really troubled by this.
[06:49] Nagumo
So I won't treat it as a job.
[06:52] Nagumo
I'll treat it as a favor for a friend.
[06:56] Nagumo
And of course, I don't need to be paid
to do an old friend a favor.
[07:00] Barkeep
In that case, you needn't worry
about your tab today.
SIGN m 0 0 l 0 0 l 23 0 b 24 0 24 1 24 1 l 24 14 b 24 15 23 15 23 15 l -21 15 b -21 15 -22 15 -22 14 l -22 1 b -22 1 -22 1 -22 1 b -22 1 -22 0 -21 0 l -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0
SIGN m 50 0 b 100 0 100 100 50 100 b 0 100 0 0 50 0
SIGN What's Grown-up About Tonto? 5
Favors for friends are free
[07:04] Mashiro INT
So this is why you never have any money.
[07:07] Mashiro
But anyone could be making those scribbles.
[07:11] Mashiro
It's going to be tough
to figure out who's doing it.
[07:13] Nagumo
Nope. I already know.
[07:15] Mashiro
What? Already?
[07:17] Nagumo
There should be some graffiti on the door.
[07:19] Nagumo
Go take a look, Pure White.
[07:21] Mashiro
Don't call me that!
[07:26] Mashiro
There is! When did that happen?
[07:28] Veronica
I'll go look around outside.
[07:30] Veronica
The offender may still be somewhere nearby.
[07:33] Nagumo
There's no need.
[07:35] Veronica
Why not?
[07:36] Nagumo
Because, Veronica, you're the one
who made that scribble.
[07:42] Veronica
I don't know where you've been all this time,
but I think you left your sense of humor there.
[07:47] Nagumo
I smelled alcohol on you earlier,
[07:50] Nagumo
but it definitely wasn't the boozy kind.
[07:54] Nagumo
It was the smell of spray paint.
[07:57] Veronica
The smell stuck to me when I opened the door.
[08:00] Nagumo
Then, you would've mentioned
the scribble when you came in.
[08:05] Nagumo
And assuming your
fashion sense hasn't changed,
[08:09] Nagumo
that mark on the bottom of your skirt...
[08:11] Nagumo
That's dried paint, isn't it?
[08:16] Nagumo
Tell me, Veronica.
[08:17] Nagumo
Why would you do this?
[08:20] Veronica
You want me to say it out loud?
[08:23] Barkeep
Could it be...
[08:25] Barkeep
you were waiting for me
to ask Naddy-san to investigate?
[08:31] Barkeep
Because he hasn't been
coming here as often recently.
[08:34] Barkeep
You thought that if you vandalized
the bar, you'd see him again.
[08:40] Veronica
Well done, great detectives.
[08:45] Nagumo
Where are you going?
[08:46] Veronica
Don't know.
But I can't stay here any longer.
[08:49] Veronica
Sorry for soiling your bar, barkeep.
[08:52] Barkeep
Wait a moment.
[08:55] Barkeep
You haven't ordered a drink yet.
[09:01] Veronica
Guys...
SIGN Really.
[09:03] Veronica
Really, you're all so unfair.
SIGN You men are so unfair.
[09:06] Three
Today, we drink to Pure White.
[09:10] Mashiro
Wait, why to me?!
SIGN m 0 0 l 0 0 l 23 0 b 24 0 24 1 24 1 l 24 14 b 24 15 23 15 23 15 l -21 15 b -21 15 -22 15 -22 14 l -22 1 b -22 1 -22 1 -22 1 b -22 1 -22 0 -21 0 l -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0 b -21 0 -21 0 -21 0
SIGN m 50 0 b 100 0 100 100 50 100 b 0 100 0 0 50 0
SIGN What's Grown-up About Tonto? 6
Magnanimous
[09:15] Nagumo
So how'd you find the world of grown-ups?
[09:17] Mashiro
Hmm. It felt kind of uncomfortable.
[09:20] Nagumo
That's just how bars are.
[09:22] Mashiro
Uh, I don't think so.
[09:25] Mashiro
But I guess...
[09:27] Mashiro
I can admit that you looked
more grown-up than usual in there.
[09:33] Nagumo
I hope you and I can drink there
together when you hit twenty.
[09:39] Mashiro
Old dude.
[09:41] Mashiro
Anywhere but there.
[09:42] Nagumo
Why?!
[09:43] Mashiro
That whole act you guys
kept up was annoying.
[09:51] Asunaro
This is the address the client gave us.
SIGN Investigation Request
For Nagumo Detective Agency
[09:55] Nagumo INT
We received a mysterious request
to do an investigation.
[09:59] Nagumo INT
They offered one million yen,
with an up-front payment of 200k.
[10:02] Nagumo INT
However, the sender and details
of the investigation were unknown.
[10:06] Nagumo INT
There was a chance it could
be some kind of trap, but...
[10:09] (Flashback) Mashiro FB
Danger and mystery walk side by side!
[10:11] (Flashback) Mashiro FB
As detectives, we should dive in
in pursuit of mystery!
[10:14] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
I agree with you!
[10:19] (Flashback) Nagumo FB
I'm in, too.
[10:20] (Flashback) Nagumo FB
It smells like a big, fat, juicy mystery to me.
[10:25] (Flashback) Nagumo FB
And the advance payment
made me absolutely giddy.
[10:27] (Flashback) Maki FB
Well, at least there's that.
[10:30] Nagumo
Okay, we're going in. Keep your guard up.
[10:33] Mashiro
Don't you worry! Mashiro here
is fully and completely prepared!
[10:37] Nagumo
You're standing on a pile of shit
the size of a sandbag!
SIGN A Midsummer
Thriller
SIGN A Midsummer
Thriller
SIGN A Midsummer
Thriller
[10:48] Maki
It smells of mold.
[10:50] Nagumo
What is this room?
[10:52] Asunaro
Mashiro-san, leave the
door open just in case—
[10:58] Asunaro
What in the world are you thinking?!
[11:01] Asunaro
See? Now it won't open!
[11:02] Mashiro
Well, if you open a door,
you should close it!
[11:05] Asunaro
You leave it open in a situation
like this! That's common sense!
[11:08] Mashiro
"C-Common sense is the collection of
prejudices acquired by age eighteen"—Einstein.
[11:14] Asunaro
You're so panicked,
you can't do the face right!
[11:17] Maki
There's no phone signal in here.
[11:19] Nagumo
Because the concrete's so thick, I guess.
[11:22] Nagumo
Even Mashiro can't break through this.
[11:25] Shadow
Greetings, all of you.
I had faith you would come.
[11:30] Nagumo
Who are you?
[11:33] Shadow
I have no name. Call me what you will.
[11:36] Mashiro
Okay, "Guy Who Brushes
His Teeth with His Nails."
[11:38] X
Fine, sorry. Call me "Mister X."
[11:41] X
I have but one objective:
to take revenge on you detectives!
[11:46] Nagumo
Revenge?
[11:47] X
I had a very bitter experience
with detectives.
[11:50] X
But you don't need to worry. I won't keep
you here until you die or anything.
[11:55] Mashiro
So let us out right now, then.
[11:57] X
I want to defeat you in a game.
[12:00] X
I want to see you lose and
crawl around on the ground in disgrace.
[12:05] Nagumo
That's one hell of a personality
you've got there, Mr. Nail Toothbrusher.
[12:09] X
Seriously, don't call me that.
You're being even more casual about it now.
[12:14] Asunaro
So? What kind of game is it?
[12:16] X
Simple. You will compete
against me in a quiz.
[12:20] X
If you can answer even one of
my five questions correctly, you win.
[12:25] X
But for each one you answer incorrectly,
I will show an embarrassing photo of you.
[12:30] X
If you get all five wrong, I'll spread very
compromising photos all over the Internet.
[12:34] Maki
This is ridiculous. Do you really think
we'll play along with such a childish game?
[12:39] X
I'll start by giving you a little sample.
[12:42] Mashiro
Ooh! It's Maki-chan in her HS days!
[12:45] Maki
I accept! I accept your challenge, okay?
[12:48] Maki
Just delete that right now!
[12:50] X
Then, in response to your fervent
demands, here's question one.
[12:54] X
Here we have three people,
whom we shall call A, B, and C.
[12:58] X
Their ages multiplied together equal thirty.
SIGN years
SIGN years
SIGN years
SIGN years
SIGN Holding
Booze
[13:02] X
How old is B?
[13:04] Mashiro
Huh? How are we supposed to figure that out?
[13:08] Maki
That's simple. The answer is—
[13:09] X
Now, now. I never said you could
just answer whenever you wanted.
[13:15] X
You only get one chance
to answer each question,
[13:17] X
and the one to answer this one
will be... Mashiro-kun.
[13:21] Nagumo
Why's it gotta be Mashiro?
[13:22] X
Because she seems the dumbest.
[13:25] Mashiro
Who are ya callin' dumb?!
[13:27] X
What is it with your
unparalleled desire to please?
[13:30] Mashiro
The total's thirty, so it's, uh,
three times... um, uh...
[13:37] X
What's wrong? Got nothing?
[13:41] Mashiro INT
More like...
[13:43] Mashiro INT
Thanks to that barley tea I guzzled
this morning, I've got more than nothing.
[13:47] Mashiro INT
I've got a bladder that's about to explode.
[13:49] X
Well, Mashiro-kun? What's your answer?
[13:52] Mashiro
Um, uh... Ten!
[13:54] X
Wrong. The answer is one.
[13:57] Mashiro
Damn it!
[13:58] X
Okay, here's the second photo.
[14:00] Maki
Why are they all me?!
[14:03] X
Now, your next question is...
[14:06] X
Wrong. Here's the third photo.
[14:10] X
And the fourth photo.
[14:13] X
The fifth photo.
[14:17] Nagumo
They're both on the brink
for their own reasons.
[14:21] Maki
M-Mashiro-chan, I can't take any more.
[14:25] Mashiro
Same here. I'm sorry.
[14:28] Maki
Listen to me.
[14:30] Maki
I inspected this room's walls while
pretending to writhe around in agony.
[14:35] Mashiro
The walls?
[14:36] Maki
This is a room that blocks cell service,
[14:38] Maki
yet he's able to show us a real-time
video feed. It didn't make sense.
[14:43] Maki
While looking around, I noticed that wall
over there is thinner than the rest.
[14:47] Maki
He's probably behind that wall,
[14:49] Maki
and using a cable connection
to appear on the monitor.
[14:52] Maki
So, Mashiro-chan...
[14:54] Mashiro
Okay.
[14:56] X
All right. Here comes the last questi—
[14:59] X
Wait, I don't see Mashiro-kun.
[15:08] X
Why'd you open that with
such a "Hey, you guys open?" vibe?
[15:15] Mashiro
Maki-chan, the rest is up to you.
[15:17] Mashiro
Hey, Apple! Where's the nearest bathroom?
[15:20] Apple
Twelve kilometers straight ahead.
[15:20] Maki
I don't know who you are...
[15:22] Mashiro
Twelve kilometers?!
[15:23] Maki
but I assume you came into this
prepared to face the consequences.
[15:27] Maki
Come on now! Think about what you've done!
SIGN And thus, Mashiro ran...
in search of the bathroom 12 km away...
[15:30] X
Forgive me!
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[15:35] Mashiro
Lookee! Lookee!
[15:37] Mashiro
I finally bought one.
[15:39] Nagumo
Oh, yeah, a Famcm. I know what that is.
[15:43] Mashiro
Yep, you oldies just call any device
you haven't seen before a Famcm.
[15:47] Mashiro
It's a wiretap detector.
[15:49] Mashiro
It buzzes when it detects
listening devices nearby.
[15:52] Nagumo
You and the weird toys you buy...
[15:55] Mashiro
It's not a toy. And it wasn't cheap.
[15:57] Nagumo
Oh, yeah? How much?
[15:59] Mashiro
120,000.
[16:00] Nagumo
That's like eight times what I expected!
[16:02] Mashiro
It's this year's latest model.
I worked hard to save up for it!
[16:06] Nagumo
Most HS girls would only say that
about stuff like purses or clothes.
[16:11] Mashiro
Let's test it out right away!
[16:14] Nagumo
You're not gonna find any here.
We're a detective agency.
[16:17] Mashiro
Click.
[16:22] Mashiro
There is one!
[16:24] Mashiro
Does this mean someone's been
listening to us this whole time?!
[16:27] Nagumo
Just calm down, Mashiro.
[16:28] Mashiro
The conversations... and the humming?
[16:30] Mashiro
Even that cassowary call
I've been practicing?!
[16:33] Nagumo
So you were the one making
that racket every morning!
[16:36] Mashiro
What do we do?! They're listening
right this minute, aren't they?
[16:39] Nagumo
Probably.
[16:42] Mashiro
I know. This is the time for...
SIGN What
SIGN do
SIGN you
SIGN want
[16:47] Nagumo
Why would you not want anyone hearing that?
SIGN to
SIGN eat
SIGN to-
SIGN day
SIGN ?
SIGN Mashiro
and the
Agent
from the
Stars
SIGN Mashiro
and the
Agent
from the
Stars
[16:53] Mashiro
What the heck?
[16:54] Mashiro
I can't find any bugs at all.
[16:57] Nagumo
You'd better put all this stuff back.
[16:59] Mashiro
I found a disturbing number
of your porn mags, though.
[17:02] Nagumo
You didn't have to line them up
in alphabetical order!
[17:06] Mashiro
And I've been searching like crazy.
[17:08] Nagumo
Your detector's probably just broken.
[17:11] Mashiro
It's brand-new! It can't be—
[17:16] Mashiro
Wait, is it picking up something
on the floor below us?
[17:21] Nagumo
Maybe.
[17:23] Nagumo
Look, maybe we should call this off.
SIGN Agent's Secret Base
[17:28] Mashiro
The hell?
[17:29] Mashiro
"Agent's secret base"?
[17:31] Nagumo
She still lives here, huh?
[17:33] Mashiro
Y'know, old dude, you should work on
getting to know the neighbors.
[17:38] Nagumo
Idiot! Don't touch that without thinking!
[17:39] Mashiro
Huh?
[17:42] Mashiro
What the hell?!
[17:43] Nagumo
I told you!
[17:45] Mashiro
Take this!
[17:52] Azuha
You government lapdogs
finally tracked me down, huh?
[17:54] Azuha
I knew you'd come to try
and steal my inventions one day.
[17:58] Azuha
But you messed with the wrong woman.
Just give up and—
[18:03] Azuha
Huh?
[18:05] Azuha
A girl? Who are you? CIA?
[18:08] Nagumo
Let her go. She's my assistant.
[18:11] Azuha
I know that voice. Mr. Nagumo!
[18:13] Azuha
Wait, no! What is this icky creature?!
[18:17] Azuha
Whew, my mistake.
[18:19] Azuha
That's a blunder no agent should ever make.
[18:25] Azuha
Mr. Nagumo, this is one fresh
young lady you've got here.
[18:28] Nagumo
Don't call her "fresh."
[18:30] Nagumo
What have you even been doing,
locked away in here?
[18:33] Azuha
Research upon research,
day after day, of course.
[18:35] Mashiro
Hey, old dude, who's this lady?
[18:39] Nagumo
Someone who keeps making weird junk
even though she never went to college—
[18:43] Azuha
I'll tell you, fresh young HS girl.
[18:45] Azuha
At times, a supermarket cashier.
[18:47] Azuha
At times, a reliable hitter
for a sandlot baseball team.
[18:50] Azuha
At times, a supermarket cashier.
[18:52] Nagumo
You already said that!
[18:54] Azuha
But my true identity is...
[18:57] Azuha
I strike down evil with the power of science.
[18:59] Azuha
A cute, hot jack-of-all-trades.
[19:03] Azuha
Someone once called me
the inventor queen of Shinjuku.
[19:06] Azuha
Science agent...
[19:09] Azuha
Hoshino Azuha!
[19:11] Mashiro
Y-You're so cool!
[19:14] Nagumo
This is why I didn't want
to introduce you to her.
[19:17] Mashiro
I'm so interested in agent work!
Do you think I could be one?
[19:21] Azuha
Fresh young HS girl,
have you seem all the 0°7 movies?
[19:24] Mashiro
Well, yes, for what it's worth.
[19:26] Azuha
Welcome to the world of agents.
[19:28] Nagumo
That was easy.
[19:30] Azuha
Anyway, what brings you two here to see me?
[19:33] Nagumo
So dismissive.
SIGN There's a bug planted in this room
[19:36] Azuha
Really? So you're here to find it?
SIGN We want to find not only the bug,
but the person who planted it
[19:38] Azuha
Uh-huh.
SIGN So we're trying to come up
with a plan to find both
SIGN Mashiro
[19:46] Mashiro
Oops! This is from when
I was practicing my autograph!
[19:50] Nagumo
So that's the deal. Got any good ideas?
[19:54] Azuha
I have just the invention for you!
[19:57] Azuha
My DP-02VK prototype!
[20:02] Nagumo
That name really doesn't
deserve a dramatic intro.
[20:04] Nagumo
What is it? A detector?
[20:07] Azuha
Non, non, non.
[20:08] Azuha
It'd be faster to catch
the culprit first, right?
[20:12] Azuha
Oh, you might want to cover your ears.
SIGN Waaah
[20:16] Azuha
Man, that's loud!
[20:18] Nagumo
What the hell was that for?!
[20:21] Azuha
The culprit's gonna have the volume up
so they don't miss a thing, right?
[20:26] Azuha
So that should have done
a real number on their ears.
[20:30] Azuha
In other words, whoever's clutching
their ears in pain outside is our culprit!
[20:33] Azuha
That's such a stupid strategy,
I'm doubting my own ears.
[20:36] Mashiro
I get it.
[20:37] Nagumo
Don't agree with her.
They're not gonna conveniently be—
[20:42] Delivery Boy
My ears!
[20:44] Nagumo INT
There is a guy clutching his ears in pain!
[20:48] Delivery Boy
I'm sorry. I acted on impulse.
[20:51] Delivery Boy
Midway through delivering
all those pizzas here, I fell in love.
[20:54] Mashiro
If apologies were enough,
we wouldn't need cops!
[20:56] Delivery Boy
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
[20:58] Nagumo
How'd that guy get into your place, though?
[21:02] Azuha
Well, I can't be bothered
to open the door,
[21:04] Azuha
so I always have him
bring the pizza over to me.
[21:07] Nagumo
You're debauched beyond
belief, you know that?
[21:10] Nagumo
Well, we're off to see the police.
[21:13] Nagumo
Make sure you lock up, all right?
[21:17] Nagumo
What?
[21:20] Azuha
You seem to be having more fun these days.
[21:22] Azuha
Because of her?
[21:25] Nagumo
I mean, I wouldn't say...
[21:28] Nagumo
Well, I never get bored, that's for sure.
[21:31] Mashiro
Old dude! Will you get up already?
[21:35] Mashiro
I told you to take out the trash.
[21:37] Nagumo
I can't eat any more.
[21:40] Nagumo
My liver enzymes
weren't so good last time.
[21:43] Mashiro
He's even stingy in his dreams.
[21:45] Mashiro
Look at you, lazing around like a pig.
You're in no place to criticize Azuha-san.
[21:50] Mashiro
Oh, right!
[21:52] Mashiro
Wakey-wakey, old dude!
[22:01] Mashiro
The hell?!
[22:02] Mashiro
Who are those guys?!
[22:05] Mashiro NA
Forget wiretaps. We had actual thieves
lurking in here like termites.
SIGN Next Time
SIGN Mashiro Hosts Girls' Night Out
SIGN Assistant Switch!!
SIGN Assistant Switch!!
SIGN Battle to the Death at 100° Celsius
SIGN Battle to the Death at 100° Celsius
6 - Mashiro Hosts Girls' Night Out / Assistant Switch!! / Battle to the Death at 100° Celsius
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Special
SIGN m 597.14 76.57 l 482.29 77.14 497.71 108 500 109 504.57 110 597.14 110
SIGN m 597.14 76.57 l 494.69 77.14 499.71 108 500 109 504.57 110 597.14 110
SIGN A Close Look at the Latest
Trend: the Girls' Night Out
SIGN Share your innermost thoughts with the girls!
[00:01] TV
These days, the girls' night out is
a crucial venue for women to let off steam.
[00:05] TV
More than 40% of women attend
such a gathering at least once per month.
[00:10] Mashiro
Hey, old dude.
[00:11] Mashiro
I wanna do a—
[00:12] Nagumo
Don't bother. That ain't your style.
[00:16] Mashiro
What?! But why?!
[00:18] Nagumo
Those things are more for, you know...
cute, sweet girls.
[00:23] Nagumo
You're too rough. In more ways than one.
[00:25] Mashiro
Who're you calling a rough-around-the-edges,
musclebound bitch?!
[00:29] Nagumo
Your bloodlust is making the air explode.
[00:31] Nagumo
Also, I didn't say all that.
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
SIGN Mashiro Hosts Girls' Night Out
[02:17] Staff
Welcome.
[02:19] Maki
I'm Kazamaki. I have a reservation.
[02:21] Staff
Right this way, please.
[02:25] Maki INT
Mashiro-chan invited me here,
and I just sort of went with it.
[02:29] Maki INT
I've never been on a girls' night out before.
[02:32] Maki INT
She said someone named
Azuha-san was coming.
[02:34] Maki INT
I hope she's easy to talk to.
[02:41] Maki INT
Forget easy to talk to, I'm not sure
if this one even knows Japanese!
[02:45] Maki INT
Don't tell me that's Azuha-san.
[02:47] Maki INT
No, I can't be sure of that yet.
[02:50] Azuha
Oh, hey! Are you Hana-san?
[02:53] Maki INT
What made those things react to me?
[02:56] Azuha
Nice to meet you. I'm Hoshino Azuha.
[02:59] Azuha
Sex: female.
[03:01] Maki
Um, h-hello.
[03:03] Azuha
Here. A little gesture
in hopes we'll grow close.
[03:05] Maki INT
I don't want to get close to that*.
[03:08] Maki
I work as an assistant at
the Asunaro Detective Agency.
[03:11] Maki
My name is Kazamaki Hana.
[03:13] Azuha
Ooh, a business card!
[03:15] Azuha
Very grown-up. I like it.
[03:17] Azuha
Oh, I have one, too.
[03:19] Azuha
Nice to know ya.
SIGN Hoshino Azuha
SIGN Hoshino Azuha
SIGN Hoshino Azuha
SIGN Hoshino Azuha
SIGN Hoshino Azuha
[03:20] Maki INT
It's a palette swap of the first one.
[03:21] Maki INT
I-I can't deal with this lady by myself.
[03:26] Maki
Anyway, um, Mashiro-chan sure is late.
[03:29] Azuha
Oh, that fresh, young HS girl? She contacted me
saying she'd be about five minutes late.
[03:34] Azuha
A kei truck picked a fight with her,
so she had to beat it up first.
[03:37] Maki
I see.
[03:45] Maki INT
This is so awkward.
[03:46] Maki INT
What am I supposed to talk to her about?
[03:50] Maki
U-Um, so, Hoshino-san...
where are you from?
[03:55] Azuha
My dad's testicles.
[03:56] Maki INT
Mashiro-chan, please get here soon!
[03:59] Mashiro
Sorry I'm late!
[04:00] Maki
Mashiro-chan!
[04:02] Mashiro
Man, that kei truck really pissed me off.
[04:05] Maki INT
She came in an outfit that's*
totally not girls' night out wear.
[04:09] Azuha
Ooh! Feels like a girls' night out.
[04:12] Staff
Your beef bowl to the max
with a lethal dose of pickled ginger.
[04:14] Mashiro
Yay! It's here!
[04:16] Maki INT
One of us looks like someone
heading home after team practice.
[04:20] Mashiro
Girls' night out time! Let's dig in.
[04:24] Azuha
Wow, you sure can wolf it down.
[04:26] Maki INT
Girls' night out?
Is this really a girls' night out?
[04:29] Mashiro
So let's talk girls' night out topics.
[04:32] Mashiro
Maki-chan, you're up.
[04:34] Maki
What? Me?
[04:36] Maki
Well, let me see...
[04:38] Maki
I think, um, it's probably standard
to talk about relationships and such.
[04:42] Maki
Do either of you have a boyfriend?
[04:44] Azuha/Mashiro
Nope.
[04:46] Maki INT
Oof. This isn't going well.
[04:48] Mashiro
Do you have one, Maki-chan?
[04:50] Maki
Huh?! N-No, I don't have one, either.
[04:54] Mashiro
Aw, really? I thought you and Asunaro were—
[04:56] Maki
Five billion percent not happening.
[04:58] Mashiro
You were pretty quick to deny it.
[05:00] Maki
I would sooner die than date Master.
[05:02] Maki
I'd be more likely to date
a human-shaped slime mold.
[05:06] Mashiro
Huh, is that so?
[05:10] Maki
Wh-What about you, then?
How do you feel about Nagumo-sensei?
[05:15] Mashiro
I-I don't really... The old dude is just...
[05:19] (Flashback) Nagumo
Huh? Something stinks?
Sorry, it's probably my feet.
[05:22] (Flashback) Nagumo
Save me, Mashiro!
[05:26] Mashiro
He's just someone I need to take care of.
[05:28] Azuha
He's pretty old, after all.
[05:31] Maki
I think he's still rather young, personally.
[05:33] Mashiro
What sort of guy is your type, Azuha-san?
[05:36] Azuha
Who, me?
[05:37] Azuha
Well, I guess...
[05:39] Azuha
Someone smart,
who's always giving me advice,
[05:42] Azuha
and who's always sticking close to me...
[05:45] Mashiro
Wow, surprisingly romantic!
[05:48] Azuha
...and who's just a brain.
[05:50] Maki
Just a brain?
[05:51] Mashiro
Azuha-san, that's not fair.
Your answer's pure fantasy!
[05:54] Azuha
Is it?
[05:55] Mashiro
If that's allowed,
then I wanna date the sun god, Ra.
[05:59] Maki
We're getting nowhere.
Let's stop talking about this for now.
[06:02] Azuha
That really felt like
girls' night out stuff, though.
[06:06] Mashiro
Yeah, it did.
[06:07] Maki
Well, if you ignore what you actually said.
[06:09] Mashiro
By the way, I guess the dudes are
having a boys' night out at an izakaya.
SIGN The Masses Izakaya
[06:15] Nezu
Yo, round glasses.
[06:17] Nezu
Sure was nice of you to pin me as a stalker.
[06:21] Asunaro
Well, it is true that
you were stalking someone.
[06:24] Asunaro
I was not wrong in the slightest.
[06:26] Nagumo
Damn it, the writing on everything is so tiny.
[06:30] Nagumo
Where's the damn sake?
[06:32] Mashiro
I hope they're getting along okay.
[06:35] Maki
I think I want something alcoholic, too.
[06:38] Maki
Excuse me. A mojito, please.
[06:42] Mashiro
I've been this wondering for a while, but...
just how old are you, anyway?
[06:46] Maki
Huh? Wh-What does it matter how old I am?
[06:55] Nezu
Yo, round glasses.
[06:56] Asunaro
Yes?
[06:58] Nezu
What kinda button man squeezes a lemon
over their fried chicken in this day and age?
[07:03] Asunaro
What's the problem with using
what the restaurant served me?
[07:06] Asunaro
In fact, I'd say it's wrong not to use it.
[07:09] Nezu
What was that, you pedantic four-eyes?
[07:11] Nagumo
Would you stop? You're embarrassing.
[07:14] Nezu
But this weirdo squeezed a lemon over the—
[07:16] Asunaro
Enough of your false accusations!
[07:18] Nagumo
Listen to me, kiddos.
[07:20] Nagumo
There are an infinite number
of ways to eat food.
[07:22] Nagumo
You may have your preferences,
but there's no right or wrong way to eat.
[07:27] Nagumo
Just eat the way you like to.
[07:30] Nagumo
There's enough conflict in this world.
[07:32] Nagumo
We should at least get along
while we're eating together.
[07:35] Nezu
Boss.
[07:37] Asunaro
Sensei.
[07:38] Nezu
I'm so sorry!
[07:40] Asunaro
While we're at it,
which do you prefer, Sensei?
[07:42] Nagumo
Well, as for me...
[07:46] Nagumo
Forget the lemon. I can't even
handle the grease on fried chicken.
[07:50] Nezu
Boss.
[07:51] Asunaro
Sensei.
[07:53] Mashiro
Whew, we sure ate a lot.
[07:55] Azuha
We sure did. And...
[07:59] Mashiro
Maki-chan's pretty plastered.
[08:02] Maki
I am not plastered.
[08:04] Maki
There's no li'l adhesive bandages on me at all.
[08:07] Mashiro
It sure is easy to tell when you're drunk.
[08:10] Azuha
I bet she'd answer any question
we asked her now.
[08:12] Mashiro
Oh, yeah! She might even tell us how old she is!
[08:15] Mashiro
Kazamaki-san, Kazamaki-san!
[08:17] Mashiro
Please tell us how old you are.
[08:21] Maki
I am twenty-mrmmff years old.
[08:25] Mashiro
Those are strong defenses!
[08:27] Azuha
She's blocking the question
on a deep psychological level.
[08:30] Mashiro
Let's ask more stuff
and whittle down her defenses.
[08:32] Azuha
Right.
[08:33] Mashiro
What's your favorite food?
[08:34] Maki
Sushi.
[08:35] Azuha
How old are you?
[08:37] Maki
Twenty-mrmmff.
[08:38] Mashiro
What do you do on your days off?
[08:40] Maki
Arts and crafts.
[08:41] Azuha
How old are you?
[08:43] Maki
Twenty-mrmmff.
[08:44] Mashiro
What's your motto for life?
[08:45] Maki
"Veggies first."
[08:47] Azuha
How old are you?
[08:48] Maki
Twenty-mrmmff.
[08:49] Mashiro
Damn it! That wall's impregnable!
[08:51] Mashiro
Oh, I know!
[08:53] Mashiro
Kazamaki-san, Kazamaki-san!
[08:56] Mashiro
How do you really feel about Asunaro?
[09:02] Maki
Master is...
[09:05] Maki
brimming with pride and
very distrustful, but oh so dumb.
[09:09] Maki
And it's always Nagumo-sensei this,
Nagumo-sensei that.
[09:12] Maki
He's just exhausting to be around.
[09:15] Mashiro
Asunaro would probably keel over
if he heard all this.
[09:19] Maki
But...
[09:20] Maki
Of all the detectives I've met,
he's the... he's the most brilliant.
[09:27] Maki
That's why I stay with him.
[09:31] Azuha
What's this? The soft side is coming out!
[09:34] Mashiro
Kazamaki-san, Kazamaki-san!
[09:36] Mashiro
Tell us a secret you have.
[09:39] Maki
I like ponchos.
[09:42] Mashiro
What the heck?
[09:43] Maki
Because they cover up my body shape.
[09:47] Mashiro
Why would you want to? You're not even fat.
[09:49] Maki
I'm self-conscious
about my small breasts,
[09:53] Maki
so I like ponchos that cover me up.
[09:59] Mashiro
Aw, Maki-chan, you can be so cute!
[10:03] Azuha
Let's hear it again!
Why do you wear ponchos?
[10:06] Maki
I told you. 'Cause my breasts are so small!
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[10:12] Maki
M-M-M-M-Mashiro-san!
[10:14] Maki
I didn't do anything
embarrassing last night, did I?!
[10:20] Mashiro
Gee, I don't know.
[10:22] Maki
What? No way! Wait, please!
[10:24] Azuha
Oh, Hana-san.
[10:26] Azuha
I've got some stuff that'll make
your boobs bigger. Want it?
[10:30] Maki
D-D-D-D-D-D-Don't tell me...
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[10:41] Nagumo
Damn it, Mashiro! I know you did this!
[10:45] Nagumo
Don't feign innocence by whistling!
[10:47] Nagumo
Hey, nice tune. Wait, does the
sound quality need to be this good?
[10:50] Mashiro
Sorry, old dude. I thought I'd clean
the office, and this is what—Ah.
[10:55] Nagumo
You're breaking everything you touch!
[10:58] Mashiro
Boy, human-made things
are so easily broken, huh?
[11:02] Nagumo
Are you some demon who's obtained too much
strength to exist in the human world?
[11:07] Mashiro
There's no need to go that far.
[11:09] Mashiro
Everyone makes mistakes, you know.
[11:11] Nagumo
I bet Maki-san would never do this.
[11:15] Mashiro
That's the one thing you should
never say to your partner!
[11:18] Mashiro
If that's how you feel, why don't you
make Maki-chan your partner?!
[11:21] Nagumo
H-Hey!
[11:22] Mashiro
Miser! You're useless! Your feet stink!
You cheat on your taxes!
[11:25] Mashiro
You're shallow! Pedo! Bet you've got
fifteen illegitimate kids! Illegal alien!
[11:29] Nagumo
Don't mix truths and lies together
to make your insults sound catchy.
[11:32] Mashiro
I hope all your joints dislocate!
[11:37] Nagumo
What am I, a child? That was shameful.
[11:40] Nagumo
Well, I'm sure she'll cool down
by tomorrow. I'll apologize then.
[11:44] Mashiro
I hope a goat eats your insurance card!
[11:46] Nagumo
You're still there?
SIGN Assistant Switch!!
SIGN Assistant Switch!!
[11:53] Maki
I'll be your partner as of today.
I'm Kazamaki Hana.
[11:56] Nagumo INT
What?
[11:58] Mashiro
Hey! It's me, Mashiro! Glad to be
workin' with ya, round glasses!
[12:01] Asunaro INT
What?!
[12:03] Nagumo
I see. That's what Mashiro said, huh?
[12:06] Maki
She came to me crying and saying she wanted
to try being someone else's assistant.
[12:10] Maki
I'm sorry to ask, but would you mind
indulging Mashiro-chan this time?
[12:14] Nagumo
Nah, I'm the one who should be apologizing.
[12:16] Nagumo
Sorry you have to put up
with her selfish whims.
[12:19] Maki
Please don't worry about it.
[12:20] Maki
I consider it a great honor
to be working for you.
[12:25] Nagumo INT
So this is what human warmth feels like.
[12:28] Maki
Is that a tear?
[12:29] Nagumo
I guess I'll get right to
explaining today's job.
[12:32] Maki
I've already done my research on that.
[12:34] Nagumo
Huh? You have?
[12:36] Maki
The client is Kato Yoshiro,
a forty-four-year-old man.
[12:39] Maki
White-collar worker, married with kids,
lives in a stand-alone home.
[12:43] Maki
For the past few days, someone
has been burning his garbage and mail.
[12:47] Maki
Here is the data from interrogations
and witness reports from his neighbors.
[12:53] Maki
Let's start by visiting the client's home.
[12:56] Maki
Come, Nagumo-sensei.
[12:58] Nagumo INT
Thirty thousand points for Maki-san.
[13:01] Maki
Points?
[13:03] Asunaro
Honestly.
[13:05] Asunaro
Why do I have to team up with you?
[13:08] Mashiro
Oh, it's fine. So what's today's mission?
[13:11] Asunaro
I've received multiple reports of a suspicious,
nearly naked man prowling these parts.
[13:18] Mashiro
A suspicious man? Oh!
[13:20] Mashiro
That's this guy, isn't it?
[13:22] Asunaro
That's me!
[13:23] Mashiro
Well, when I thought "creepy guy,
goes through people's trash..."
[13:26] Asunaro
I do that as part of my investigations.
[13:29] Asunaro
Besides, this guy's in his thirties or forties.
[13:32] Asunaro
He's a muscular man with glasses
who wears swim trunks and a necktie.
[13:36] Asunaro
That description sounds nothing like me.
[13:38] Mashiro
Done.
SIGN Kill me now...
[13:39] Asunaro
That's me!
[13:40] Mashiro
I'll start showing this around right away.
[13:43] Mashiro
Yes?
SIGN Earl Grey
SIGN Cinnamon
SIGN Earl Grey
SIGN Cinnamon
SIGN Earl Grey
SIGN Cinnamon
[13:46] Nipple Tasting Man
Left or right: lick whichever you like.
SIGN Earl Grey
SIGN Cinnamon
SIGN Earl Grey
SIGN Cinnamon
SIGN Earl Grey
SIGN Cinnamon
SIGN Cinnamon
SIGN Earl Grey
SIGN Cinnamon
SIGN Earl Grey
[13:53] Mashiro
P-Pervert!
[13:54] Asunaro
He must be the suspicious man.
[13:56] Mashiro
Wait, I think I actually know that guy!
[13:59] Asunaro
Really?
[14:00] Mashiro
There are some weird guys
in this town that everyone calls:
[14:03] Mashiro
the "Big Four of Creepy Old Dudes."
SIGN Cross Chest
Hair Man
[14:06] Mashiro
There's Cross Chest Hair Man,
[14:08] Mashiro
Nipple Tasting Man,
SIGN Nipple
Tasting Man
[14:10] Mashiro
Man Who Likes Ropes,
SIGN Man Who
Likes Ropes
[14:12] Mashiro
and Warm-Dressing Shady Man.
[14:14] Asunaro
Wait, Nagumo-sensei's one of them?
SIGN Warm-Dressing
Shady Man
[14:17] Mashiro
Anyway, I'll take care of catching Nipples here!
[14:19] Asunaro
Ooh, so dependable.
[14:20] Mashiro
Stop right there, you pervert!
[14:23] Mashiro
Gotcha! Piece of cake!
[14:26] Mashiro
Eek! He was all slimy!
[14:29] Asunaro
That pervert covered himself
in lube or something.
[14:32] Asunaro
That's disgusting.
[14:33] Nipple Tasting Man
No, not lube. Merely bodily fluids.
[14:35] Asunaro
That's even more disgusting!
[14:37] Mashiro
Ew. He's...
[14:39] Mashiro
running away like he's on a pommel horse.
[14:40] Asunaro
He'll get away at this rate.
[14:42] Mashiro
Then, I'll hit him with a paint ball.
[14:45] Mashiro
Dodge this if you think you can!
[14:49] Mashiro
Oops! Sorry!
[14:51] Mashiro INT
Man, I'm so lame.
[14:53] Mashiro INT
It was my own fault,
but I snapped and bolted out like that.
[14:56] Mashiro INT
How could I be so useless?
[15:00] Maki
I see.
[15:01] Maki
And the harassment has escalated recently?
[15:05] ClientA
Yes.
[15:06] Nagumo
We should probably move fast on this one.
[15:09] Maki
I agree. Our client is
at risk of harm at this rate.
[15:14] Nagumo
Whoever's doing this can't be too far away.
[15:20] Nagumo
A nearly naked man just slid by on his butt.
[15:22] Mashiro
Stop, you bastard!
[15:24] Mashiro
I'm gonna rip both of your nipples right off!
[15:28] Nagumo
Mashiro's... her usual self, I guess.
[15:32] CriminalA
Who said you could call a detective?
[15:35] ClientA
What's this about, Yamada?
[15:37] ClientA
Don't tell me all
that harassment was your doing!
[15:40] CriminalA
I know you've been
having an affair with my wife!
[15:44] ClientA
W-We just happened to get dinner together—
[15:47] CriminalA
I saw you leaving a hotel!
[15:49] Maki
Nagumo-sensei.
[15:51] Nagumo
Maki-san, stay behind me.
[15:53] CriminalA
Don't you move either, detective!
[15:55] CriminalA
One tiny little move, and I kill you!
[15:58] Maki
What do we do, Sensei?
[16:00] Nagumo
It's best to just stay still right now.
We don't want to provoke him needlessly.
[16:05] Maki
But if we don't do something...
[16:06] Nagumo INT
There's only one way out of this.
[16:09] Nagumo INT
Damn it. Where'd you go...
[16:12] Nagumo INT
Mashiro?
[16:14] Mashiro
You and your gross, slimy self!
[16:17] Mashiro
This ends now!
[16:18] Mashiro
Wash your nipples and come try again!
[16:21] Nagumo INT
Why does she keep screaming
about his nipples?
[16:27] Nagumo
Well, that sure was a thrilling day, huh?
[16:30] Maki
I'm sorry I couldn't be of any use.
[16:32] Nagumo
Aw, not at all.
[16:34] Nagumo
You were so competent,
it made me envy Asunaro-kun.
[16:38] Nagumo
But I guess most of the credit goes to her.
[16:44] Maki
You should go and bring her back quickly.
[16:47] Nagumo
Hey, Mashiro!
[16:51] Nagumo
Thanks for what you did earlier.
[16:54] Mashiro
It was pure coincidence, that's all.
[16:56] Mashiro
So how was Maki-chan as an assistant?
[16:59] Nagumo
Hm? Oh, she's super competent.
[17:02] Nagumo
There wasn't a single thing left for me to do.
[17:05] Mashiro
Oh, really?
[17:06] Nagumo
Which is why I was bored as hell.
[17:10] Nagumo
Sorry about everything.
Come back to the office.
[17:16] Mashiro
Old dude, I'm sorry.
[17:19] Mashiro
I actually kinda broke
the kitchen stove, too.
[17:23] Nagumo
What?
[17:24] Nagumo
That was you, too?!
SIGN Bath
[17:36] GuestA
Man, I'm done.
[17:37] GuestB
Me, too. This sauna's way too hot.
[17:40] GuestA
I feel super relaxed, though.
[17:43] GuestB
For real.
[17:45] Nagumo INT
Young men, the sauna is not
the easy hobby you think it is.
[17:52] Nagumo INT
It's a face-off with your very life.
A chicken race to the river Styx.
[17:57] Nagumo INT
A sauna isn't a place to relax.
It's a place to go mad.
SIGN Nagumo Keiichiro
SIGN Hobby: Saunas
SIGN Battle to the Death at 100° Celsius
SIGN Battle to the Death at 100° Celsius
[18:05] TV
Next up in the news...
[18:07] TV
Higashitani Daiki, a man arrested on
suspicion of serial eat-and-run offenses,
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN The
Latest
SIGN Mid-interrogation escape
SIGN Whereabouts unknown
SIGN Suspect: Higashitani Daiki
SIGN BREAKING
SIGN Shinjuku serial eat-and-run case
SIGN Serial eat-and-run offender escapes in the middle of interrogation
[18:11] TV
escaped in the middle of his interrogation.
His whereabouts are still unknown.
[18:17] Nagumo INT
Isn't that the eat-and-runner
Mashiro caught before?
[18:22] Nagumo INT
I'd like to go find him
for Mimasaka's sake, but...
[18:25] Nagumo INT
Sorry. I'm a slave to the sauna right now.
[18:29] Nagumo INT
It feels like I'm burning
all the way down to my lungs.
[18:33] Nagumo INT
I can't get enough.
[18:41] Nagumo INT
Wait, seriously? Who goes straight
to the sauna after escaping the cops?
[18:44] Nagumo INT
This guy's gone a little too mad!
[18:47] Nagumo INT
Relax. I'm sure he's just a lookalike.
[18:51] TV
The suspect can be identified by
a Guevara-esque dog tattoo on his back
[18:54] TV
that looks like it was
stamped on with an eraser.
[18:57] Nagumo INT
Nope, it's him.
[18:58] Nagumo INT
Aw, come on. Gimme a break.
[19:01] Nagumo INT
I'm trying to enjoy the sauna.
[19:03] Nagumo INT
Should I try to capture him? No, he's young,
and he looks pretty ripped to boot.
[19:07] Nagumo INT
If we end up grappling,
I'm gonna make a fool of myself.
[19:11] Nagumo INT
Not to mention, he loves saunas enough to
come to one right after breaking out of jail.
[19:15] Nagumo INT
Now I want to find out
which of us loves saunas more.
[19:20] Nagumo INT
The only way to catch him safely
while competing for top sauna lover...
[19:24] Nagumo INT
is by doing this.
[19:26] Nagumo
Hey, bro.
[19:30] Nagumo
Mind if I go for a löyly?
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Löyly
SIGN Throwing water on heated stones to raise
the temperature in the room.
Always let others know before attempting.
[19:36] Higashitani
Sure, go for it.
[19:39] Nagumo INT
Okay, let's see who can hold out the longest.
SIGN Temperature
[19:46] Nagumo
I can't stand how weak
young people are these days.
[19:49] Nagumo
They take off running
as soon as I go for a löyly.
[19:53] Higashitani
I'm only just getting started.
[19:55] Higashitani
I was about to do that myself, in fact.
[19:59] Nagumo
Now here's a young man I can respect.
[20:01] Nagumo
Man, sure feels cool in here, though.
[20:04] Higashitani
I'm actually getting chills.
[20:06] Nagumo
I get ya. I almost want to get my jacket.
[20:09] Higashitani
Well, I'm getting goosebumps. Check it out!
[20:11] Higashitani
So on that note,
mind if I give it one more hit?
[20:15] Higashitani
I'm gonna catch a cold in here.
[20:18] Nagumo
Please do.
[20:19] Nagumo INT
This guy...
SIGN Temperature
[20:23] Nagumo
So chilly.
[20:24] Higashitani
I'm freezing. I'm seconds away
from hypothermia.
[20:27] Nagumo
Just shoot some boiling hot corn potage
straight into my bladder through a catheter.
[20:32] Higashitani INT
Damn. What's with this old guy?!
[20:36] Nagumo INT
This kid's pretty tough.
[20:42] Nagumo
S-Sir! Now's a bad time!
[20:45] Nagumo
We're at the doorway to purgatory in here—
[20:47] Old
You boys...
[20:51] Old
Mind a little löyly?
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Löyly
SIGN Throwing water on heated stones to raise
the temperature in the room.
Wait for others to consent before attempting.
SIGN Temperature
[21:00] Nagumo INT
He dumped the whole tub in!
SIGN Temperature
[21:07] Nagumo INT
Can't stay conscious.
[21:11] Nagumo INT
Sorry, Mashiro. I'm done for.
[21:17] Mashiro
Old dude! Old dude!
[21:21] Mashiro
Old dude, are you okay?
[21:23] Maki
Oh, thank goodness.
[21:25] Nagumo
Wh-What was I...
[21:26] Mashiro
You passed out in the sauna.
[21:28] Nezu
I found you and brought you here.
[21:31] Nagumo
Oh, right. What about the escaped criminal?
[21:33] Mashiro
The police took him away.
[21:35] Nagumo
Oh, I see.
[21:36] Nagumo
Wait, there was an old man in there, too.
[21:39] Nezu
You mean Gramps? He just walked out.
[21:43] Nagumo
I tried to play the expert and started
a duel, and this is how I end up.
[21:46] Nagumo
I bet that old man knew
exactly what was going on.
[21:50] Nagumo
Sorry for causing trouble.
[21:52] Mashiro
Wait, don't stand up yet!
[21:54] Nagumo
I guess I'm still just a green-assed rookie.
[21:58] Nagumo
Damn, the path of the sauna sure runs deep.
[22:01] Maki
Sensei, your towel!
SIGN Dets These Days
[22:04] Mashiro
Come on! Put something on already!
[22:06] Nezu
Your ass doesn't look green to me.
SIGN Next Time
SIGN Nagumo-san's Grown-up Allure
SIGN Nagumo-san's Grown-up Allure
SIGN The Lost Child
and Mashiro
SIGN The Great Detective vs.
Phantom Thief Riverfake
SIGN The Great Detective vs.
Phantom Thief Riverfake
7 - Nagumo-san's Grown-up Allure / The Lost Child and Mashiro / The Great Detective vs. Phantom Thief Riverfake
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Nagumo INT
I've made some decent money lately,
[00:04] Nagumo INT
so I splurged on a good coffee maker
and some good beans.
[00:09] Nagumo INT
The deep flavor. The rich aroma.
[00:12] Nagumo INT
Not that I can really tell how it tastes
because of my empyema.
[00:16] Nagumo INT
I like it, though.
[00:18] Nagumo INT
Then, a young gorilla comes up
and says she wants to try some,
[00:22] Nagumo INT
so I give her a cup.
SIGN Hot!!!
SIGN Hot!!!
[00:27] Nagumo
Ow, that's hot! You tryin' to kill me?
[00:30] Mashiro
Sorry, my tongue's as sensitive as a cat's.
[00:32] Mashiro
I'll give you some fossilized
Tyrannosaurus poop as an apology.
[00:35] Nagumo
A girl shouldn't have
fossilized poop in her bra!
[00:38] Nagumo
I swear...
[00:40] Nagumo
What am I gonna do with you?
I'll make you another, but iced this time.
[00:43] Mashiro
Aw, you're such a nice old dude!
[00:46] Mashiro
What a gentleman! A manly man!
[00:49] Mashiro
Dandy!
[00:50] Mashiro
Grown-up!
[00:52] Mashiro
Um...
[00:54] Mashiro
You pay into your pension. Good for you!
[00:56] Nagumo
You don't keep many compliments on hand, huh?
[00:59] Nagumo
Here. Plenty of ice.
[01:02] Mashiro
Looks tasty.
[01:03] Mashiro
Here I go.
SIGN Bitter!!!
SIGN Cold!!!
[01:09] Nagumo
You tryin' to stop my heart with ice
after the heat didn't kill me?!
[01:13] Mashiro
I'm not! It was just so bitter,
I couldn't help it.
[01:16] Mashiro
I never knew coffee was so bitter.
[01:19] Nagumo
I guess you aren't ready for black yet.
Want some milk in it?
[01:23] Mashiro
Th-This is fine. I'm not a kid.
[01:28] Nagumo
Drinking coffee black
doesn't make you a grown-up.
[01:31] Nagumo
I'm gonna go pick up some things.
Keep an eye on the place.
[01:34] Mashiro
Wait—
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
SIGN Nagumo-san's
Grown-up Allure
SIGN Nagumo-san's
Grown-up Allure
[03:15] Mashiro
I never knew the old dude
drank such bitter stuff.
[03:18] Mashiro
Man, I just know he thinks
I'm a kid with childish tastes now.
[03:22] Mashiro
I think Maki-chan prefers
her coffee black, too.
[03:26] Mashiro
She's such a grown-up.
[03:28] Mashiro
During that whole assistant swap,
[03:30] Mashiro
the two of them had that kind of
grown-up vibe that really worked.
SIGN Puny
[03:36] Mashiro
Oh, no! I might not be a good match for him!
SIGN Agent's Secret Base
[03:40] Azuha
I see, I see.
[03:42] Azuha
Basically, you want me to help you
learn how to drink coffee black,
[03:46] Azuha
so Mr. Nagumo will acknowledge
you as a mature woman?
[03:49] Azuha
Oh, I get it. I truly get how you feel,
fresh young HS girl.
[03:53] Mashiro
I don't actually know
where you are right now.
[03:57] Azuha
Not to worry.
[03:58] Azuha
I've already got a thousand ideas in mind.
[04:02] Mashiro
I knew I could count on you.
[04:05] Azuha
So let's get started.
[04:07] Mashiro
Huh?
[04:08] Azuha
If I put a hole in your head and insert
the coffee, you won't feel the bitterness.
[04:12] Mashiro
I don't think I'd be able
to feel much else, either!
[04:15] Mashiro
Isn't there a way that doesn't
change my overall silhouette?
[04:19] Azuha
Well, that kills nine hundred
of my thousand ideas.
[04:21] Azuha
Otherwise, all I've got is a pill
that nullifies bitter flavors...
[04:25] Mashiro
That's the best answer!
[04:26] Mashiro
Thanks, Azuha-san!
[04:28] Azuha
Wait, fresh young HS girl.
[04:32] Azuha
Well, that ain't good.
[04:39] Mashiro INT
Now I'll be a mature woman
who can enjoy coffee, too.
[04:44] Mashiro INT
And with my new adult allure...
[04:47] Mashiro INT
I'm gonna knock you right out, old dude!
[04:50] Nagumo
Physically?!
[04:51] Mashiro
Here goes.
[04:58] Mashiro
Yummy.
[04:59] Mashiro INT
Wow, it's not bitter at all!
Just who is Azuha-san, anyway?
[05:05] Mashiro INT
The old dude's gonna be so surprised
when he sees I can suddenly drink coffee.
[05:10] Nagumo
I'm back.
[05:12] Mashiro
Oh, welcome back!
[05:13] Mashiro
Hey, old man! I can drink coffee now—
[05:16] Nagumo
Man, I tripped and fell on my way back.
[05:20] Mashiro INT
Wait, why does he look so hot?
[05:23] Nagumo
What? Is there something on my face?
[05:26] Mashiro
Uh, no, there's not.
[05:28] Nagumo
Oh, right. I picked up
a little something for you.
[05:31] Mashiro
Wh-What is it?
[05:33] Nagumo
Here. A rock I found on the road
that looks like a butt.
[05:37] Mashiro INT
The gift is trash as usual, but him looking
so hot totally makes up for it!
[05:42] Mashiro INT
What is this feeling?
My heart won't stop pounding.
[05:46] Mashiro INT
Does coffee cause this?
[05:51] Mashiro
H-Hello?
[05:53] Azuha
Hey, fresh young HS girl?
[05:55] Mashiro
Azuha-san?
[05:56] Azuha
I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier,
[05:58] Azuha
but that pill has aphrodisiac side effects.
[06:02] Mashiro
What?
[06:03] Azuha
Put simply, it'll make you crazy about
anyone of the opposite sex who's nearby.
[06:08] Azuha
But it'll wear off quickly, so you can relax.
[06:11] Azuha
Let's go someplace where we can grill
the dead flesh of a cow again soon.
[06:14] Azuha
Buh-bye!
[06:20] Mashiro INT
I gotta get away from him quick,
or I'm in trouble.
[06:22] Mashiro INT
I need to be as far away from him
as possible until the drug wears off.
[06:26] Mashiro INT
If I stay here...
[06:28] Nagumo
Hey, Mashiro, check it out.
[06:31] Nagumo
When I fell earlier,
my pants ripped straight up.
[06:36] Mashiro INT
This clumsy hottie
is gonna kill me with cuteness!
[06:40] Mashiro INT
It's no use. The stupid stuff he does
usually freaks me out,
[06:44] Mashiro INT
but right now, I'm finding it adorable!
[06:46] Nagumo
Hey, you drank some coffee?
[06:48] Nagumo
After all that whining about
how bitter it was? What happened?
[06:52] Mashiro
Oh, uh, it was actually pretty good
once I got used to it, um, I guess.
[06:56] Nagumo
Oh, yeah?
[06:58] Nagumo
Good for you.
[06:59] Nagumo
I'll take you to my favorite
coffee place next time.
[07:07] Mashiro
Crap! Sorry! You just touched me
out of nowhere, and I...
[07:11] Nagumo
That's not a move you
just whip out on an impulse!
[07:13] Nagumo
Ow. Why are you acting so weird?
[07:17] Nagumo
Your face is red, too.
[07:19] Mashiro
Oh, it's just...
[07:21] Nagumo
Did you catch a cold or something?
[07:26] Nagumo
No fever.
[07:27] Mashiro INT
Shit! His face is so close!
[07:29] Mashiro INT
Take it easy. Be calm, be calm, be calm.
[07:34] Mashiro
There is a cold going around.
You should rest.
[07:37] Mashiro
Th-Thanks.
[07:40] Mashiro INT
Huh? I'm starting to feel dizzy.
[07:42] Mashiro INT
Am I actually sick?
[07:45] Nagumo
I'm gonna step out for a bit.
[07:47] Mashiro INT
Where are you going, old dude?
[07:49] Mashiro INT
Wait.
[07:52] Mashiro
Don't go.
[07:54] Mashiro
Stay here until I'm better.
[07:57] Mashiro
I don't want to be alone again.
[07:59] Nagumo
Mashiro?
[08:01] Nagumo
Hey! What's going on with you?
[08:04] Mashiro
Old dude.
[08:06] Mashiro
Seeing you up close, you have
a lot of white hairs in your mustache.
[08:10] Nagumo
You're dissing me at close range now?
[08:12] Nagumo
C'mon, let go.
[08:14] Mashiro
Don't leave.
[08:15] Nagumo
Your physical strength
is really standing out right now.
[08:19] Mashiro
Old dude, I... I really think I...
[08:27] Mashiro
I li—
SIGN The
drug's
effects...
SIGN wore off
[08:30] Mashiro
Too close!
[08:33] Mashiro
I'm so sorry!
SIGN Pro
SIGN str
SIGN ate
[08:35] Nagumo
Ah, okay. So that's what happened.
[08:38] Mashiro
I had no idea it would have
a side effect like that.
[08:41] Mashiro
I mean, it's unbelievable
that you'd look so hot.
[08:44] Nagumo
Okay, just stay in that position
for the rest of the day.
[08:46] Nagumo
Sheesh. I'm not gonna drop you as my partner
just 'cause you can't drink coffee.
[08:52] Mashiro
But still, I want to be a grown-up woman
who looks good drinking coffee.
[08:57] Mashiro
If I stay a child forever...
[09:01] Nagumo
A café au lait with plenty of milk.
[09:03] Nagumo
I made it by mistake.
[09:06] Mashiro
Café au lait?
You're treating me like a kid again.
[09:10] Nagumo
Mashiro, you don't need to try to match me.
[09:13] Nagumo
I need you to do the things I can't.
[09:16] Nagumo
In any case, I don't like café au lait,
[09:20] Nagumo
so I'd appreciate it
if you'd drink it for me.
[09:22] Mashiro
Old dude.
SIGN It stinks!!
SIGN It stinks!!
[09:30] Mashiro
This reeks! Old dude,
I think your milk went bad!
[09:33] Nagumo
Ah, sorry. I couldn't tell 'cause of my empyema.
[09:35] Azuha
They're so noisy.
[09:39] Mashiro
♫ One little whitebait sits right here ♫
[09:43] Mashiro
♫ It's gone bad, and now it has a spot ♫
[09:47] Mashiro
♫ What's this? It looks like there are two! ♫
[09:51] Mashiro
♫ Is this astigmatism? ♫
[09:52] Mashiro
♫ No, not astigmatism.
You've been misdiagnosed ♫
[09:56] Mashiro
♫ Now put some rotten yakisoba on top ♫
[10:00] Nagumo
What kind of song
are you teaching a little kid?
[10:02] Mashiro
♫ And just like that, we have Nagumo-san ♫
[10:06] Nagumo
Wait, you were drawing me?
Did you have to use all that rotting stuff?
[10:10] Nagumo
Sheesh.
[10:11] Nagumo
A lost kid is such a hassle.
[10:13] Nagumo
We should just leave this one to the police.
[10:16] Mashiro
And you call yourself a detective?
[10:19] Mashiro
Isn't it a detective's job to help
anyone they see who's in trouble?
[10:23] Nagumo
That's the police's job, too.
[10:24] Mashiro
Right?
[10:26] Fuu
Shut up, ugly.
[10:27] Mashiro
Who're you callin' "ugly,"
you stupid little shit?
[10:31] Mashiro
You sure look ugly now.
SIGN The Lost Child
and Mashiro
[10:35] Nagumo
Well, no helping it now that she's here.
[10:37] Nagumo
How old are you, little girl?
[10:40] Nagumo
Huh? You're three?
[10:42] Fuu
How many fingers do you see?
[10:44] Nagumo
I don't have astigmatism.
[10:47] Fuu
♫ No, not astigmatism.
You've been misdiagnosed ♫
[10:51] Fuu
♫ Now put some rotten yakisoba on top ♫
[10:51] Nagumo
I just don't get how little kids think.
[10:54] Mashiro
Boy, you can say that again.
[10:56] Nagumo
Don't start competing over
how confusing you can be.
[11:01] Fuu
I will arrest you.
[11:03] Nagumo
By the way, little girl,
can you tell us your name?
[11:08] Fuu
Fuu.
[11:09] Nagumo
Oh, that's a nice name.
[11:11] Nagumo
I'd like to know your family name, too.
[11:13] Fuu
Everyone calls me "Beaver."
SIGN Beaver Fuu
[11:16] Mashiro
She's teasing us enough
to tickle our faces right off.
[11:19] Nagumo
This is gonna be a tough job.
[11:22] Nagumo
Where'd you find this kid, anyway?
[11:25] Mashiro
The local park.
[11:27] Mashiro
I was coming up with
new ways to fall safely...
[11:31] Mashiro
when I sensed someone watching me,
so I turned around, and...
[11:39] Mashiro
But that has nothing to do with the story,
so enough about that.
[11:43] Nagumo
Wait, wait! I'm a lot more
curious about that one!
[11:47] Mashiro
I was on my way home
when she came up to me.
[11:51] (Flashback) Fuu
I'm lost, Miss Detective.
Please find my daddy.
[11:56] Mashiro
Then, we went to a café
and got seated next to the prime minister,
[12:00] Mashiro
but that has nothing to do with the story,
so enough about that.
[12:03] Nagumo
There are some really intriguing
side stories going on here!
[12:08] Nagumo
C'mon. Let's go ask around.
[12:11] Nezu
Hmm, doesn't ring a bell.
[12:14] Nezu
Should I ask a buddy of mine to look around?
[12:18] Nagumo
Yeah. Thanks.
[12:22] Nezu
Hey, it's Nezu.
[12:24] Nezu
I'm looking for someone, and...
What? I don't have time for that?
[12:28] Nezu
What? HQ's pissed I left the group?
[12:31] Nezu
They found out I hang around
with the chick who took them out?
[12:35] Nezu
They have a thousand men
out looking for me?
[12:37] Nezu
The chopper, too?
[12:39] Nezu
Is it okay if I bail for a little bit?
[12:42] Nagumo/Mashiro
It sounds like you're about to bail for good.
[12:46] Azuha
I see.
[12:47] Azuha
And you're looking
for this offspring's father?
[12:50] Nagumo
Don't call a human child "offspring."
[12:53] Azuha
Hi. That's a nice face you've got there.
[12:56] Azuha
Got a photo of your dad or anything?
[12:58] Fuu
No.
[12:59] Nagumo
We can't do this without any hints.
[13:01] Azuha
No, it's fine.
[13:03] Azuha
If I just take one strand of her hair...
[13:05] Nagumo
You gonna use some weird concoction again?
[13:08] Azuha
Now, now, just hear me out.
[13:11] Azuha
Ta-da! The Easy Homunculus Creator Kit!
[13:16] Nagumo
We're trying to find the guy, not make him.
[13:19] Asunaro
Oh, you're looking for someone?
That's one of the things I'm best at.
[13:26] Asunaro
Now, now, little girl,
you do not need to be afraid of me.
[13:33] Maki
You don't need to worry.
[13:35] Maki
Despite how he looks, he's not carrying
germs or anything. You're safe.
[13:38] Asunaro
Do I look like someone who carries germs?
[13:41] Asunaro
Wait. I think I've seen
this little girl before.
[13:46] Maki
Are you all right?
[13:48] Maki
Do you need a jump?
[13:51] Mashiro
Now, Fuu-chan, you shouldn't
kick people, even if it is Asunaro.
[13:56] Fuu
Sorry. But he kind of scared me.
[13:58] Nagumo
No leads, huh?
[14:00] Nagumo
Although we haven't asked anyone
but our own buddies.
[14:03] Mashiro
I'll take a picture of Fuu-chan and
ask everyone I see if they know anything.
[14:08] Nagumo
Sure, but there's one thing
I want to make sure of first.
[14:14] Nagumo
Fuu-chan, what is it
you're really trying to do here?
[14:18] Nagumo
You knew Mashiro from before, didn't you?
[14:22] Mashiro
What? You did?
[14:24] Nagumo
When you talked to Mashiro for the first time,
you called her "Miss Detective."
[14:28] Nagumo
What in the hell made her
look like a detective?
[14:31] Mashiro
Wasn't that a little bit of a diss just now?
[14:33] Nagumo
And you silenced Asunaro-kun
because you know him, too, right?
[14:41] Mimasaka
Hey, Keiichiro.
[14:43] Nagumo
Mimasaka?
[14:44] Mimasaka
What're you doing out here?
[14:46] Nagumo
Oh, just got a lost kid here.
[14:50] Mimasaka
Fuu-chan?
[14:51] Fuu
Oh, Daddy.
[14:52] Nagumo
"Daddy"?!
[14:54] Mimasaka
Don't tell me, Fuu-chan... Not again.
[14:56] Fuu
Yeah, I snuck in.
[14:58] Fuu
You said he was a great detective,
so I had high hopes, but he let me down.
[15:02] Nagumo/Mashiro
Huh? What?
[15:03] Fuu
He figured out I wasn't
just an ordinary lost child,
[15:06] Fuu
but he didn't know I was
the daughter of his police friend.
[15:11] Fuu
I did give him hints, but...
[15:13] Mashiro
Mimasaka... Bibasaka...
SIGN Beaver Fuu
[15:15] Mashiro
"Biba"! So that's where "Beaver" comes from!
[15:18] Nagumo
Hey, c'mon, Mimasaka. What's with this kid?!
[15:21] Mimasaka
Oh, uh, Fuu-chan is, well...
[15:25] Fuu
This is how pathetic you become
without an archnemesis?
[15:29] Fuu
Remember this, great detective!
[15:33] Fuu
I am the great phantom thief of the future:
[15:36] Fuu
Phantom Thief Beaver!
[15:38] Fuu
I'll take this by way of greeting.
[15:41] Nagumo
Hey! My wallet!
[15:42] Fuu
So long!
[15:44] Mashiro
Phantom Thief Beaver is terrifying.
[15:46] Nagumo
After her, Mashiro! Get my wallet back!
[15:48] Mashiro
There's nothing in there
but receipts and bandages.
[15:51] Nagumo
Mimasaka, how the hell
did you raise that kid?
[15:54] Mimasaka
Ah, I told her about my work, and she
developed an admiration for phantom thieves.
[15:58] Mimasaka
She's cute, though, huh?
[16:00] Nagumo
Yeah, she's cute.
[16:02] Nagumo
Actually, she is cute.
[16:08] Nagumo
Hm? Feels lighter than it should.
SIGN Phantom Thief Beaver was here!!
[16:14] Nagumo
The hell is this?
[16:16] Mashiro
Old dude, we've got trouble!
[16:19] Mashiro
The instant coffee is totally empty,
and this card was in it!
SIGN Phantom Thief Beaver was here!!
SIGN Phantom Thief Beaver was here!!
SIGN Phantom Thief Beaver was here!!
[16:24] Mashiro
No rice, either!
[16:26] Mashiro
Or toilet paper!
SIGN Phantom Thief Beaver was here!!
[16:28] Mashiro
Even your booze is all gone!
SIGN Phantom Thief Beaver was here!!
SIGN Phantom Thief Beaver was here!!
SIGN Phantom Thief Beaver was here!!
[16:30] Mashiro
So I...
[16:32] Mashiro
caught the thief.
[16:33] Fuu
Let me go! He's gonna eat me!
[16:36] Mashiro
It's a crime to enter people's houses
without their permission.
[16:39] Mashiro
Shut up, ugly.
[16:40] Mashiro
Who're you callin' ugly?!
[16:43] Nagumo
Don't make that your signature gag.
[16:46] TV
Breaking news.
[16:47] TV
The phantom thief Riverfake has left
a notice that they intend to steal
SIGN BREAKING
SIGN Hot
SIGN A notice from
Phantom Thief
Riverfake
[16:50] TV
the painting The Smile*, which is
on display in the Tsukai Art Museum.
[16:53] Fuu
Riverfake-sama.
[16:55] Nagumo
Oh, isn't that the thief
Mimasaka's been after?
[16:59] Mashiro
That's a lame-ass pun on "river otter"
when "River-Notter" is right there.
SIGN BREAKING
SIGN Hot
SIGN A notice from
Phantom Thief
Riverfake
[17:04] TV
This is the notice.
SIGN m 627.5 52 l 294.5 52.5 287.5 48.5 284 42 284.5 36 287.5 31.5 291 27.5 627.5 28
SIGN The notice from the phantom thief!
SIGN Notice
SIGN I will take
The Smeille
Smyle Smile
SIGN from the art mewseum
musuem museum
at midnight tonight
[17:06] Nagumo
That's a lot of spelling corrections.
SIGN The Great Detective vs.
Phantom Thief Riverfake
SIGN The Great Detective vs.
Phantom Thief Riverfake
[17:11] Mimasaka
Sorry to call you in
at short notice, Keiichiro.
[17:13] Mimasaka
I really wanted someone
talented on this case.
[17:16] Nagumo
So this phantom thief
is going to show up today?
[17:19] Mimasaka
He's never done anything off-schedule.
[17:22] Mimasaka
Phantom Thief Riverfake.
[17:24] Mimasaka
His identity is unknown,
but he never misses a target.
[17:30] Mimasaka
This time, he's after
this painting: The Smile.
[17:34] Mimasaka
Apparently, it was made in some special way,
[17:37] Mimasaka
and it's worth sixty billion.
[17:39] Mashiro
Wait, sixty—
[17:40] Mashiro
With sixty billion, I could buy a beef bowl
with enough soft-boiled eggs to make me puke.
[17:45] Mimasaka
Your assistant's awfully
pedestrian, isn't she?
[17:48] Nagumo
She's been refined by the reality
of the harsh life we live.
[17:51] Nagumo
So what's security like?
[17:54] Mimasaka
Airtight.
[17:57] Mimasaka
We have 150 cops inside the building.
[18:00] Mimasaka
The second the painting's touched,
iron balls will fly from all directions,
[18:03] Mimasaka
and hot water and an electric
current will zap the perp.
[18:06] Nagumo
Whoa, that's a bit overkill, don't you think?
[18:08] Mimasaka
It's actually not even enough
for this phantom thief.
[18:11] Mimasaka
Bet you can't wait to use
your detective skills.
[18:14] Nagumo
I have no skills left to use,
Mr. Police Detective.
[18:17] Mimasaka
Still, working with you like this
really takes me back to that day.
[18:22] Nagumo
Yeah, it sure does.
[18:24] Nagumo
I think it was a full moon that day, too.
[18:27] Mimasaka
Huh? I thought it was snowing.
[18:29] Nagumo
Huh? Was it?
[18:30] Mimasaka
And you were in a black jacket.
[18:32] Nagumo
No way. It was green.
[18:34] Nagumo/Mimasaka
Aging has really messed with his memory.
[18:34] Nagumo/Mimasaka
Aging has really messed with his memory.
[18:37] Mashiro
Jeez, get your acts together, old dudes.
[18:40] Mashiro
It's almost the time
mentioned in the notice.
[18:43] Mashiro
The thief could show up at any moment.
[18:46] Mashiro
Whoa, the power's out?
[18:47] Mimasaka
Get it back on quick!
[18:49] Nagumo
Mashiro! The light!
[18:50] Mashiro
Right, got it!
[18:54] Nagumo
Hey, look!
SIGN Out
in the
Open
[18:55] Nagumo
The painting's gone!
[18:58] Mimasaka
Was it Riverfake?
[19:00] Nagumo
Mashiro! Get ready to move!
[19:03] Mashiro
On it!
[19:04] Nagumo
Are you off to hunt a pterosaur?
[19:06] Cop1
Hey! There's someone by the window!
[19:08] Cop2
It's Riverfake!
[19:10] Riverfake
Greetings, gentlemen.
[19:12] Riverfake
Allow me to say just one thing...
[19:15] Riverfake
What the hell's with your security today?
[19:17] Nagumo
Immediate results!
[19:20] Nagumo
Never thought we'd be able to
brute-force that with the power of the state.
[19:24] Mimasaka
Now, I've got some questions for you.
[19:30] Mimasaka
Shit! Everyone, down!
[19:32] Mimasaka
A flash grenade?!
[19:35] Nagumo
Mashiro! Can you see?
[19:36] Mashiro
S-Somehow, yeah.
[19:38] Nagumo
Can you see Riverfake?
[19:39] Mashiro
Um...
[19:42] Mashiro
He took a direct hit from
that light and hit the deck!
[19:45] Nagumo
Why the hell didn't you have protection?
[19:47] Nagumo
Are you a stink bug dying
from your own noxious farts?
[19:49] Mashiro
Hey!
[19:50] Mashiro
He's running away!
[19:55] Riverfake
I'll be taking The Smile.
[19:58] Mashiro
I'll just have to use Azuha-san's special...
[20:01] Nagumo
Hang on.
[20:02] Mashiro
...wristwatch-shaped flamethrower!
[20:05] Nagumo
That's even worse than the original kind!
[20:08] Nagumo
Wait, Mashiro. The painting.
It'll burn if that fire hits it.
[20:12] Mashiro
Don't worry. I did some research on The Smile.
[20:16] Mashiro
It was painted on special fireproof cloth,
[20:18] Mashiro
and it's survived being
burned in multiple wars.
[20:21] Mashiro
That's why it's worth sixty billion.
[20:24] Mashiro
So a little flame like this isn't gonna...
[20:28] Nagumo
It's sure as hell burning up.
[20:30] Mashiro
What?! No way!
[20:32] Nagumo
What're you gonna do now?
That was sixty billion yen!
[20:35] Mashiro
I'll never put soft-boiled eggs
on my beef bowls again.
[20:38] Nagumo
You're gonna pay it off
with soft-boiled egg savings?
[20:41] Mimasaka
Don't worry. We're not so gullible
that we'd keep the real painting up.
[20:48] Nagumo
You're a man who gets
the job done, Mimasaka.
[20:50] Mashiro
Wait, what about the thief?
[20:55] Nagumo
What the...
[20:58] Mimasaka
What happened?
[20:59] Cop1
He shot off some kinda gas
that put us all to sleep.
[21:04] Mashiro
Hey!
[21:05] Mashiro
Over there!
[21:07] Mashiro
He's fleeing with nothing on
but a burned scrap!
[21:08] Nagumo
Whoa, he's one grubby old man.
[21:11] Mimasaka
Damn. That's Riverfake for you.
[21:18] Mimasaka
Fuu-chan?! You followed me?
[21:20] Mashiro
Nice one, Fuu-chan!
[21:22] Nagumo
W-Wait, but why? I thought
you admired this phantom thief.
[21:28] Fuu
Not this.
[21:29] Riverfake
Wh-What'd you say?
[21:30] Fuu
The Riverfake I admire can't be
a nasty old man like this!
[21:37] Riverfake
I'm, uh, sorry, I guess?
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[21:41] Mashiro
Old dude, you got a package
from Mimasaka-san.
[21:44] Mashiro
Oh? What is it?
[21:46] Mashiro
"Thank you for your assistance
in the arrest of Riverfake," it says.
[21:50] Nagumo
Heh. Talk about corny.
[21:53] Nagumo
He has the worst taste in gifts, y'know.
SIGN Phantom Thief Beaver was here!!
[21:58] Mimasaka
What? Fuu-chan, that was
part of my gift for Keiichiro!
[22:02] Fuu INT
Nagumo Keiichiro.
[22:04] Fuu INT
I accidentally helped you this time,
but next time, I'll crush you.*
SIGN Next Time
SIGN Nagumo's
Cyber Case File
SIGN Nagumo's
Cyber Case File
SIGN The Phantom Thief's Method
SIGN A Detective
Assistant's
Day Off
8 - Nagumo's Cyber Case File / The Phantom Thief's Method / A Detective Assistant's Day Off
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Shinnosu
D-Don't you move a muscle, detectives!
[00:06] Shinnosu
T-Take one step and I'll break this vase!
[00:09] Nagumo
Boy, this one's a pain in the ass.
[00:13] Shinnosu
That's it. Stay right where you are.
[00:15] Shinnosu
Move and I break it.
[00:18] Mashiro
What now? Our hands and feet are tied.
[00:20] Mashiro
But my elbows aren't!
[00:23] Shinnosu
Mommy!
[00:27] Maki
Did she just glide through the air?
[00:29] Asunaro
I wish she'd warn us before
deciding she's no longer human.
[00:32] Nagumo
No! The vase!
That's priceless Imari porcelain!
[00:36] Nagumo
Mashiro! If that vase breaks,
it's boiled water for dinner from now on!
[00:40] Mashiro
Eek! Anything but that!
[00:42] Mashiro
I'm still a growing girl
with a growing appetite.
[00:45] Mashiro
I will protect my delicious meals with my life!
[00:55] Mashiro
I have struck down the enemy general.
[00:57] Nagumo INT
The Hot Water Detective is born.
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
SIGN Nagumo's
Cyber Case File
SIGN Nagumo's
Cyber Case File
[02:35] Nagumo
What? You don't remember anything?
[02:38] Mashiro
Do you know how much we had to pay
in compensation for that vase? Huh?!
[02:43] Asunaro
Except I'm the one who paid for it.
[02:45] Shinnosu
I-I was just at home watching
videos on YoTube, like always.
[02:50] Shinnosu
Then I lost consciousness,
and the next thing I knew, here I was.
[02:54] Mashiro
If lies like that were good enough,
we wouldn't need cops.
[02:58] Shinnosu
I-It's true!
[03:00] Mashiro
You know, on top of being super easy to break,
collarbones hurt like hell when broken.
[03:05] Shinnosu
No! Someone help me!
[03:07] Maki
Videos?
[03:10] Maki
Were you by any chance
watching Yomoya Hikari's videos?
[03:15] Shinnosu
Huh? Well, yes, I was...
[03:18] Maki
I thought so.
[03:20] Nagumo
What? Who's Yomoya Hikari?
[03:23] Maki
A VTuber who's grown
popular in certain circles.
[03:26] Nagumo
Oh, uh, right. A vee-choo... Um, sure.
[03:31] Mashiro
Jeez, his brain screeches to a halt
as soon as he sees horizontal writing.
[03:35] Maki
The videos themselves are nothing unusual,
[03:37] Maki
but some of them seem to have
electro-drug effects on people.
[03:40] Maki
There are even rumors
they brainwash people into doing crimes.
[03:47] Nagumo
Brainwashing videos, huh?
[03:49] Nagumo
Seems a bit hard to believe,
[03:51] Nagumo
but I guess I should take a look at one.
[03:56] Nagumo
Will it come up if I search for it?
[03:58] Mashiro
Wait, old dude, you can use a computer?
[04:00] Nagumo
Don't be dumb. I was a detective
when you were still in diapers.
[04:05] Nagumo
Of course I can handle a computer or two.
[04:09] Mashiro
Wow. I misjudged you, old dude.
[04:12] Nagumo
Let's see... Y... O...
[04:17] Nagumo
Uh... M... M... M...
[04:21] Nagumo
Wait, the "M" isn't here today?
[04:24] Mashiro
Yikes! Hunt-and-peck typing!
[04:27] Nagumo
Okay, I'm gonna play it. Prepare yourselves.
[04:32] Hikari
Hi, everyone! How ya doin'?
[04:34] Hikari
I'm the online idol swimmin'
through the electronic sea, Yomoya Hikari!
[04:38] Hikari
Today, I'm introducing this app!
[04:41] Hikari
Today, I'm gonna dance to this song.
[04:44] Asunaro
Huh, she's quite cute, isn't she?
[04:48] Nagumo
I'm not sure how I'm meant to enjoy this.
[04:51] Nagumo
How'd you find out about these videos, uh...
[04:55] Nagumo
Sorry, I didn't get your name.
[04:58] Shinnosu
Oh, I'm Nohara Shinnosu.
[05:02] Nagumo
Nohara Shinnosu?
That cuts off in the worst place!
[05:05] Nagumo
Did your folks turn to stone while naming you?
[05:07] Shinnosu
I just checked out the videos
because they came up in my recs.
[05:11] Nagumo
Huh.
[05:13] Nagumo
This video's brainwashing people?
Seems a stretch.
[05:16] Nagumo
Maybe Nohara-kun really was lying...
[05:24] Nagumo
H-Hey, Mashiro!
[05:27] Nagumo
Crap. Mashiro's completely brainwashed.
[05:30] Asunaro
She's likely more susceptible
since her neural circuits are so primitive.
[05:34] Nagumo
We gotta catch her quick.
There's no telling what she'll do.
[05:37] Maki
Oh, there she is.
[05:39] Maki
She's crouching on that man's head.
[05:41] Nagumo
That man's gonna be in danger
if we do something careless.
[05:45] Maki
Oh, she ran off again.
[05:47] Nagumo
After her!
[05:53] Maki
But even if we do catch her,
we can't overwhelm her physically, can we?
[05:57] Nagumo
G-Good point.
[05:59] Asunaro
I'd definitely rather not face her
head-on in her current state.
[06:04] Nagumo
Damn it. What do we do?
[06:09] Nagumo
That muscular silhouette...
[06:11] Nagumo
It can't be.
[06:13] Nagumo
Nipple Tasting Man!
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
[06:17] Nipple Tasting Man
Why, it's Nagumo-san.
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
[06:19] Maki
Why is he doing sumo moves
in the middle of the street?
[06:22] Nipple Tasting Man
What's the matter? Want a taste?
[06:24] Nagumo
Hell no!
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
[06:25] Nagumo
Although today's menu
does look kind of alluring.
[06:28] Nagumo
I'll explain later. Just stop Mashiro!
[06:32] Nipple Tasting Man
If that is the detective's wish!
[06:36] Nipple Tasting Man
Wh-What is this power?
[06:43] Nagumo
Um, Tasting-san, what did I just hear?
[06:47] Nipple Tasting Man
That was my ringtone.
[06:50] Nagumo
Don't use confusing sounds like that!
I thought you'd crapped your pants.
[06:53] Nipple Tasting Man
Oh, but I did crap my pants.
[06:56] Nagumo
You actually did?
[06:59] Nagumo
The cops?
[07:00] Maki
I called them earlier.
[07:02] Asunaro
That's my Maki-chan!
[07:05] Maki
O-Over there. She's not in her right mind.
[07:16] Nagumo
Yep, saw that coming.
[07:18] Nagumo
Mashiro's out of control, and we don't know
how to find who's responsible.
[07:23] Nagumo
I feel like we don't have many options here.
[07:26] Maki
Well, it would certainly be
difficult to prove any crime.
[07:29] Asunaro
Brainwashing through videos
does sound a bit outlandish.
[07:33] Mashiro
I'm definitely brainwashed
right now, though.
[07:36] Nagumo
Yeah, but...
[07:38] Nagumo
Whoa! How long have you been here?
[07:40] Maki
Mashiro-chan, are you all right?
[07:42] Mashiro
Yep! I'm just barely holding on
to my sense of self.
[07:45] Mashiro
Although I feel something
welling up in my throat at times.
[07:48] Maki
Don't make it sound like nausea.
[07:50] Asunaro
Well, that solves one of our problems.
[07:52] Asunaro
All that's left is how to find
the maker of those, uh, videos...
[07:55] Nagumo
Mashiro?
[07:57] Nagumo
Hey, Mashiro? What is it?
[08:02] Nagumo
Uh-oh. She's lost it again.
[08:02] Shinnosu
Ow! That hurts! Ow, ow, ow!
[08:05] Asunaro
She's trying to do a death roll
with his head in her mouth.
[08:07] Maki
Mashiro-chan, get a hold of yourself.
[08:12] Mashiro
Humans are shackled by freedom.
[08:15] Asunaro
Oh, she's back to normal.
[08:17] Nagumo
Wait, this is her default state?
[08:21] Nagumo
She's in beast mode again.
[08:23] Asunaro
You need to stop trying to death roll.
[08:27] Mashiro
Begone, specter.
[08:29] Nagumo
I can tell she's fighting
the brainwashing with all her might.
[08:31] Maki
Keep it up, Mashiro-chan.
[08:37] Nagumo
Nope, it didn't work.
She just changed versions.
[08:40] Nagumo
Now she's acting even more like a dog.
[08:42] Asunaro
She's even further beyond our control now.
[08:45] Maki
Wait, a dog? Then just maybe...
[08:54] Maki
Mashiro-chan!
[08:56] Maki
H-House!
[09:02] Maki
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'm so sorry!
[09:05] Maki
Since she's acting like a dog,
I thought the "house" command might work.
[09:08] Maki
I thought she'd go back to the office.
But now I want to go home.
[09:13] Nagumo
No, Maki-chan, it wasn't a bad idea.
[09:15] Asunaro
You get the award for technique, Maki-chan.
[09:18] Mashiro
Home?
[09:20] Nagumo
She ran off.
[09:22] Maki
D-D-Did the "house" plan actually work?
[09:24] Nagumo
Uh, except she ran in
the opposite direction to the office.
[09:33] Leader
Yomoya Hikari's gotten pretty popular.
[09:36] Leader
Good.
[09:38] Leader
Spread throughout the whole world.
[09:41] Leader
The BK subliminals hidden in Yomoya Hikari
only work on total idiots.
[09:47] Leader
It has no effect on people smart enough
to be involved in police investigations.
[09:52] Leader
That means there's no way
we'll ever get caught.
SIGN Hacker Team
SIGN Y'knownymahseer
[09:56] Leader
That's the calling card
of Y'knownymahseer.
[10:00] Leader
Soon, there'll be no one
who doesn't know our name.
[10:05] Astra
What the hell?
I was just getting to the good part.
[10:09] Astra
Who's there?
[10:16] Leader
What happened, Astra?!
[10:17] Mashiro
Fami, fami, fami... fami, fami, fa...
[10:19] Leader
A-Astra?!
[10:20] McKinnon
A dog-girl humming a convenience store
jingle has him in an octopus hold.
[10:22] Mashiro
Fami, fami, fami... fami, fami, fa...
SIGN It was Ma an alligator
[10:28] Nagumo
Guess we should head back
to the office for now and regroup.
[10:31] Asunaro
I agree.
[10:34] Maki
That's an awful lot of noise.
[10:37] Maki
Some unknown group is running this way!
[10:40] Nagumo
What the hell am I seeing?
A psychopath's first dream of the new year?
[10:43] Mashiro
Old dude! These are the guys
who made those brainwashing videos!
[10:47] Nagumo
Wait, you still have that face,
but you're acting normal?
[10:50] Maki
I-Is it possible that when I said "house,"
[10:52] Maki
she interpreted it not as the office,
but the place where the videos are made?
[10:56] Nagumo
I dunno what trail she followed,
but it all worked out.
[11:00] Nagumo
Now, we round them all up—
[11:03] Nagumo INT
I have a secret I can't tell anyone.
[11:06] Nagumo INT
I have no plans to tell anyone
because I don't want to worry them.
[11:10] Nagumo INT
But I...
[11:12] Nagumo INT
I also have bad knees.
[11:15] Maki
I mean, I'm pretty sure
we all figured as much.
[11:18] Maki
Ah, they're scattering!
[11:20] Asunaro
They won't escape!
[11:21] HackerB
Move it, woman!
[11:30] Nipple Tasting Man
Are you all right?
[11:32] Maki
Th-Thank you...
[11:34] Maki
N-N-N... Ni... Nip...
[11:39] Nipple Tasting Man
My name is Nipple Tasting Man.
[11:42] Nagumo
More like Pooped-in-His-Pants Man.
[11:44] Maki
Did you run away from the police?
[11:46] Nipple Tasting Man
No, I explained it all, and they let me go.
[11:50] Nipple Tasting Man
Honestly, the police are such tyrants.
[11:52] Nagumo
Speak with your mouth!
[11:54] Nagumo
More importantly,
we need to catch those guys.
[11:56] Nipple Tasting Man
Oh, them?
[11:58] Nipple Tasting Man
You needn't worry about them anymore.
[12:01] McKinnon
Hey! Outta my way, old man! I'll kill you—
[12:07] McKinnon
M-My eyes!
[12:10] Nagumo
That's...
[12:11] Nagumo
Cross Chest Hair Man!
[12:13] Cross Chest Hair Man
May the sacred light judge you.
[12:15] Nagumo
Huh? Was he always that cool?
[12:25] Maki
Another nearly-naked man!
[12:27] Nipple Tasting Man
That's Man Who Likes Ropes.
[12:29] Man Who Likes Ropes
Despite how I look,
I'm a rare degree of masochist!
[12:32] Nagumo
Oh, we can tell.
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
[12:33] Nipple Tasting Man
No matter what evil may
run rampant in this world,
[12:36] Nipple Tasting Man
we—Tasting, Cross, Rope,
[12:39] Nipple Tasting Man
and Shady here...
[12:40] Nagumo
Why am I the only one
who's just being dissed?
[12:42] Nipple Tasting Man
So long as the Big Four of
Creepy Old Dudes are around,
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
[12:45] Nipple Tasting Man
order in this town will never be in danger!
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
SIGN Caviar
SIGN Truffle
[12:48] Maki
Look at all that exposed skin!
[12:51] Leader
Keep that up until you die,
ya wannabe freaks!
[12:54] Nipple Tasting Man
I forgot about the last one.
[12:56] Nipple Tasting Man
Shady, it's your—
[12:58] Nipple Tasting Man
Huh? He's gone.
[13:01] Leader
I won't forget this, you freaks!
[13:06] Leader
Wh-Where'd you come from?
[13:08] Nagumo
Sorry. I'm just a shady guy.
[13:12] Maki
Oh, the police are here.
[13:16] Maki
We'll turn these guys in,
then get Mashiro-chan—
[13:25] Maki
Okay, what were we supposed to do there?!
[13:32] Fuu INT
Hello.
[13:33] Fuu INT
I'm Fuu-chan, aka the fiercely gorgeous
lady thief, Phantom Thief Beaver.
[13:44] Fuu INT
Today's another day of
energetically practicing my thieving.
SIGN The Phantom Thief's Method
[13:54] Fuu INT
My target this time is
the former great detective's...
[13:58] Fuu INT
ugly assistant who's sitting there
like Masaoka Shiki just out of shot.
[14:02] Fuu INT
I'm after her wallet.
The difficulty level is very easy.
[14:06] Fuu INT
You don't look for openings.
You make your own.
[14:09] Fuu INT
The trick is to control
where people are looking.
[14:13] Fuu INT
I'll do whatever it takes to keep
their attention locked on something.
[14:16] Fuu
Hey!
[14:17] Fuu
Some hot half-Japanese girls are
washing cars in swimsuits, Mr. Detective!
[14:21] Fuu INT
How's that, detective?
I brushed up on your fetishes.
[14:25] Fuu INT
And while he's looking outside,
I'll take the wallet—
[14:28] Fuu INT
Wait.
SIGN Stare
[14:29] Fuu INT
What? He's not taking his eyes off me at all!
[14:33] Fuu INT
What a sharp look he's giving me.
[14:35] Fuu INT
Did he figure out my bluff?
[14:38] Fuu INT
Impossible. He's a washed-up detective.
[14:41] Fuu INT
He can't be that perceptive.
[14:44] Fuu
Oh! A busty cop is getting into a catfight with
one of the hot swimsuited half-Japanese girls!
[14:49] Fuu INT
How's that? Surely you'll
be staring outside now.
[14:53] Fuu INT
His gaze is even sharper?! He totally knows!
[14:57] Fuu INT
Has my silly lie—my crude
plan—actually angered him?
[15:03] Fuu INT
This man is impenetrable.
[15:07] Nagumo INT
What do I do? I can't take my eyes off her.
[15:10] Nagumo INT
She looks so much like Masaoka Shiki.
[15:13] Nagumo INT
In fact, she doesn't even look like Mashiro.
[15:15] Nagumo INT
I mean, Mashiro's in the other room.
[15:19] Mashiro
Hey, Fuu-chan, you're here.
[15:27] Fuu INT
That girl who looks like Masaoka Shiki
ruined everything earlier,
[15:31] Fuu INT
but I won't give up.
[15:33] Fuu INT
I'm not like those wretched petty thieves.
[15:36] Fuu INT
I'm a fair, noble thief
who only targets evildoers.
[15:41] Fuu INT
And only the most evil of evildoers.
[15:43] Fuu INT
The kind who look like they'd be imprisoned
based on their looks alone.
[15:47] Fuu INT
Okay!
SIGN Ghost Pepper
SIGN Amaou Strawberry
[15:49] Fuu INT
I'll target this guy.
[15:51] Fuu INT
Still, what the heck is his deal?
[15:53] Fuu INT
Practically naked with a necktie?
Does he think he's Dnky Kng?
[15:57] Fuu INT
A fisherman who just woke up*
would shoot at him by mistake.
[16:00] Fuu INT
His wallet's right up against his butt?
I don't wanna touch that.
[16:05] Fuu INT
And what's that on his left butt cheek?!
[16:08] Fuu INT
That's scary!
[16:10] Fuu INT
I don't want to touch his butt,
so I'll just take the money itself.
[16:16] Fuu INT
I'll wait for the target
to pull out his wallet,
[16:18] Fuu INT
and the moment he takes out
the money, I'll pinch it.
[16:21] Fuu INT
Gulp. This definitely isn't going to be easy.
[16:25] Fuu INT
But I know I can do it.
[16:27] Fuu INT
I have talent.
[16:30] Fuu
Um, excuse me.
[16:33] Fuu INT
The talent to charm any evildoer!
[16:34] Fuu
You see, I haven't eaten in days,
and I'm so hungry.
[16:40] Fuu
Could you please spare some money?
SIGN Earl Grey
SIGN Earl Grey
SIGN Earl Grey
[16:48] Nipple Tasting Man
You poor little girl.
[16:50] Nipple Tasting Man
Just leave it to me.
[16:52] Fuu INT
He fell for it. Now I just wait
for him to pull out his wallet,
[16:56] Fuu INT
and the money's mine.
[16:58] Nipple Tasting Man
You both heard that, right?
[17:01] Fuu
Huh?
[17:03] Nipple Tasting Man
The three of us were planning
a mochi-pounding contest today,
[17:07] Nipple Tasting Man
so we'll let you eat all the mochi you want.
[17:12] Mashiro
Man, I'm so hungry.
[17:15] Mashiro
Maybe I'll get some ramen.
[17:32] Mashiro
Hey, Mimasaka-san?
There are three perverts on the riverbank.
[17:37] Nipple Tasting Man
Here. Eat up before it hardens.
[17:48] Fuu
Oh, it's good.
[17:52] Fuu INT
What the heck? So these three
aren't actually bad guys?
[17:57] Fuu INT
Dad said you could tell if someone
was evil by the way they looked,
[18:01] Fuu INT
but maybe that's not always the case.
[18:06] Cop
Hey! So you three are the suspicious guys
we were told about?
[18:09] Nipple Tasting Man
What? But we were just pounding mochi.
[18:13] Cop
We got a report about you!
[18:14] Fuu
Oh, officer, those men are...
[18:15] Man Who Likes Ropes
Just let us explain!
[18:17] Cop
Perverts don't need to speak!
[18:18] Fuu INT
But I wonder why...
[18:21] Fuu INT
I feel no inclination to help them at all.
[18:38] Maki
Ow.
SIGN Waking Up
[18:43] Maki
I did it again.
SIGN A Detective
Assistant's
Day Off
SIGN Breakfast
SIGN Processed Soy Milk
SIGN Soy milk is effective for increasing
SIGN bust size
[18:59] Maki INT
I feel like it's starting to work.
SIGN Jogging
SIGN Do Not Feed the Ducks
SIGN A detective's assistant can't
SIGN skip training
[19:09] Maki INT
I need to toughen up
so I won't slow everyone down.
[19:16] Maki
Maybe you should stop to drink?
[19:21] Nipple Tasting Man
Ah, if it isn't the young lady
who works for Asunaro-kun.
[19:25] Maki
Why do you have plastic wrap on your chest?
SIGN Whiskey
[19:28] Nipple Tasting Man
Oh, to protect my nipples from drying out.
SIGN Barley Tea
SIGN Whiskey
[19:31] Nipple Tasting Man
Would you care for a section?
[19:34] Maki
What? No, no, no! I'm good!
[19:36] Maki
Also, don't phrase it that way!
SIGN Preliminary Investigation
SIGN at the Library
SIGN Asunaro is popular, so there's loads of material to cover
SIGN Note!!!
SIGN PE
SIGN N
SIGN IS
[19:48] Maki INT
Imagine drawing in
a library book. How awful.
[19:51] Maki INT
And to mark something so vulgar...
[19:53] Mashiro
Hey, Maki-chan,
you shouldn't draw in the books.
[19:57] Maki
I-It wasn't me!
[19:59] Mashiro
You've done some
pretty nasty margin doodles, huh?
[20:02] Maki
A-Again, it wasn't me!
SIGN How to Seduce
a Cabaret Girl
[20:03] Cross Chest Hair Man
Quiet in the library!
SIGN Bath
SIGN She bathes at this hour because bathing alone at night is scary
[20:11] Maki
This new shampoo smells so nice.
[20:15] Maki
Not that anyone will be smelling it.
[20:26] Maki
What is it, Maggo—I mean, Master?
[20:28] Asunaro
Ah, Maki-chan?
[20:30] Asunaro
It seems the criminal
from our last case is on the move.
[20:33] Asunaro
I'm tailing him right now,
but can you get here?
[20:36] Maki
If you buy me a car, I can.
[20:38] Asunaro
Huh? I mean, sure, but...
[20:42] Maki
It was a joke.
[20:45] Maki
I'm on my way, Master.
[20:52] Asunaro
Hey, Maki-chan.
[20:54] Asunaro
Sorry to call you on your day off.
[20:56] Maki
Don't worry. It was just a lonely
single woman's lonely day off.
[21:00] Maki
I was so bored, I was counting
the stains on my ceiling.
[21:03] Asunaro
Please forgive me, okay?
I'll make up for it.
[21:06] Asunaro
Huh? Hey, you smell nice.
[21:09] Asunaro
Is that a new shampoo?
[21:12] Maki
Please don't use such simple means
of sucking up to me. It's creepy.
[21:16] Asunaro
Come on, I didn't mean it like that.
[21:22] Maki
All right, then,
take me to the movies sometime.
[21:25] Maki
Then I'll forgive you.
SIGN Bedtime
SIGN No looking at her smartphone for one hour before bed
[21:42] Maki
I know that's Master.
SIGN Look! Look!
SIGN I got a funny picture!
SIGN Look! Look!
SIGN I got a funny picture!
SIGN Look! Look!
SIGN I got a funny picture!
SIGN Look! Look!
SIGN I got a funny picture!
SIGN A cloud that looks like poop!
SIGN A cloud that looks like poop!
SIGN A cloud that looks like poop!
SIGN A cloud that looks like poop!
SIGN A cloud that looks like poop!
SIGN A dog with a rooster comb!
SIGN A dog with a rooster comb!
SIGN A dog with a rooster comb!
SIGN A dog with a rooster comb!
SIGN A dog with a rooster comb!
SIGN Sexy Daikon
SIGN Sexy Daikon
SIGN Sexy Daikon
SIGN Sexy Daikon
SIGN A sexy daikon!
SIGN Sexy Daikon
SIGN A sexy daikon!
SIGN Sexy Daikon
SIGN A sexy daikon!
SIGN Sexy Daikon
SIGN A sexy daikon!
SIGN Sexy Daikon
SIGN A sexy daikon!
SIGN Oh, also, I got a new loincloth from one of my fans!
SIGN Sexy Daikon
SIGN A sexy daikon!
SIGN Oh, also, I got a new loincloth from one of my fans!
SIGN A sexy daikon!
SIGN Oh, also, I got a new loincloth from one of my fans!
SIGN A sexy daikon!
SIGN Oh, also, I got a new loincloth from one of my fans!
SIGN Oh, also, I got a new loincloth from one of my fans!
SIGN Asunaro
SIGN Asunaro
SIGN Asunaro
SIGN Asunaro
SIGN Asunaro
SIGN Well? Looks good on me, right?
SIGN Well? Looks good on me, right?
SIGN Asunaro
SIGN Next Time
SIGN Take Good Care
of Your Smartphone
SIGN Maki-chan and Asunaro
9 - Take Good Care of Your Smartphone / Maki-chan and Asunaro
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:06] Mashiro INT
Why?
[00:08] Mashiro INT
Why did this happen?
[00:10] Nagumo
Mashiro! Keep it together!
[00:11] Nezu
Big sis!
[00:13] Mashiro INT
All... All I did...
[00:20] Commentator
Mashiro comes from behind
to become the Glutton Champion!
[00:23] Mashiro INT
...was drop my smartphone.
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
SIGN Take Good Care
of Your Smartphone
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN 5 Hours
Earlier
[02:04] Mashiro
It's gone!
[02:05] Mashiro
No way! It's really not here!
[02:08] Asunaro
What's the matter?
[02:09] Nagumo
Did you lose something?
[02:11] Mashiro
What do I do?
I lost something really important!
[02:15] Nagumo
Something important? Your ladylike grace?
[02:17] Nezu
Your dignity?
SIGN Bet it's
common
sense
SIGN I wasn't
wrong
[02:20] Mashiro
My smartphone!
I lost my smartphone somewhere!
[02:25] Nezu
Want me to call you from my phone?
[02:28] Mashiro
Ooh, thanks! And sorry for slaughtering you!
[02:31] Mashiro
Please be in the room.
[02:33] Nezu
Let's see...
Passcode: eight, nine, three...
SIGN Enter passcode
[02:39] Nezu
It ain't like that!
I got permission, I swear!
[02:42] Nagumo
Can you do that outside? You're gonna
turn the office into a passage to hell.
[02:47] Mashiro
I don't hear it.
[02:49] Nezu
You didn't leave it on silent mode, did you?
[02:51] Mashiro
I don't think so.
[02:54] Mashiro
I must've dropped it somewhere outside.
[02:57] Thief
Hello?
[02:58] Mashiro
Someone answered.
[02:59] Mashiro
Oh, hello? I'm the owner of that smartphone.
[03:03] Mashiro
Thank you for picking it up for me!
[03:06] Thief
Sure, I picked it up, but don't go thinking
I'll give it back to you for free.
[03:12] Mashiro
Huh?
[03:13] Thief
What kinda idiot uses "0000"
for their passcode?
[03:16] Thief
But y'know, you're pretty cute, Mashiro-chan.
[03:20] Mashiro
You know...
[03:22] Mashiro
You might want to choose
your words more carefully.
[03:26] Nezu
I'd like it if you could handle
my phone more carefully.
[03:30] Thief
A schoolgirl's phone is full of secrets.
You need it back, don't you?
[03:35] Thief
Oh, and I turned off location services,
so don't bother trying to track it down.
[03:39] Thief
If you play my game, though,
I might be willing to return it to you.
[03:44] Thief
I'm about to—
[03:48] Thief
Okay, what kinda girl instantly tries to
curse someone to death over the phone?
[03:52] Nagumo
Seriously, stop putting weird spiritual
attributes on things in the office.
[03:56] Mashiro
All that spit you just cheerfully
released into the air
[04:00] Mashiro
will turn into 10,000 lances
that will pierce your heart.
[04:03] Nagumo
What conversation ends
in that kind of abuse?
[04:06] Nezu
They're talking about a smartphone, right?
[04:08] Mashiro
Well? What's your game?
[04:10] Thief
The rules are simple.
[04:12] Thief
In six hours, I'm going to throw out
your phone somewhere.
[04:17] Thief
I'll give you ten hints
about where I discarded it,
[04:20] Thief
but you'll need to complete the missions
I give you to receive the hints.
[04:25] Thief
Complete as many missions as you can
and find your way to your phone.
[04:31] Mashiro
Fine.
[04:33] Mashiro
And what's the first mission?
[04:35] Thief
I'll give you something easy
for the first one.
[04:39] Referee
Hakkeyoi!
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Mission 1
Win the City Sumo Tournament
[04:42] Commentator
Wow! The last-minute entry,
Mashiro, is holding her own!
[04:46] Commentator
The high schooler is locked in a grapple with
a member of an imperial university sumo club.
[04:50] Nezu
This seems kinda heavy for her first mission.
[04:53] Nagumo
What's that thief after, anyway?
[04:57] Commentator
Mashiro is holding up
against that overarm throw!
[05:00] Commentator
In fact, she's somehow airborne!
[05:02] Commentator
She's seized total supremacy
of the air over this ring!
[05:06] Commentator
Now she's smiling as
she lifts 120 kg with one arm!
[05:11] Commentator
And she's railroading him
straight out of the ring!
[05:14] Mashiro
Yeah, baby!
[05:16] Commentator
And the winner is the
last-minute entry, Mashiro.
[05:20] Commentator
Also, it's kinda late to ask,
but is that how you wear the mawashi?!
[05:23] Commentator
Who would you like to share your joy with?
[05:26] Mashiro
The local old lady who threw
a bunch of hyuganatsu at me
[05:29] Mashiro
when I was playing baseball
at the pet cemetery.
[05:31] Commentator
Why a noisy old lady?
[05:35] Nagumo
Good job, Mashiro.
[05:37] Nezu
I knew you could do it, big sis!
[05:39] Thief
I never imagined you'd
complete that so naturally.
[05:42] Mashiro
Okay, what's the next mission?
[05:44] Thief
R-Right. Your next mission is...
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Mission 2
Removing a Hornet Nest
[05:50] Nezu
This scene seems oddly familiar.
[05:53] Mashiro
Don't they say you can die
if you get stung by a bee twice?
[05:56] Nagumo
Yeah, something like that.
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN ° Anaphylactic Shock
[06:01] Mashiro
Screw it! I'm going in!
[06:03] Nezu
Big sis, at least wear protective gear!
[06:05] Nagumo
And you don't need the honey dipper.
[06:07] Mashiro
Piece o' cake.
[06:09] Nezu
Whoa! Your face looks bad, big sis!
[06:11] Nagumo
You look like a potato that's been
spoiled by organic farming.
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Mission 3
[06:18] Onlooker1
There's someone under the Aqua-Line!
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Swim the Butterfly
Across Tokyo Bay
[06:20] Onlooker2
Is that what the Umihotaru
rest area is there for?
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Mission 4
[06:24] Mashiro
Please!
[06:26] Mashiro
Please buy this ballpoint pen
for 10,000 yen! I'm begging you!
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Sell 100 Ballpoint Pens to
Passersby for 10,000 Yen Each
[06:31] Employee
What?!
[06:31] Mashiro
I'm flat broke!
[06:33] Mashiro
My starving brethren are awaiting
my return in a V formation!
[06:38] Employee
In a defensive formation?
What are they expecting?!
[06:41] Mashiro
Please help me out!
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Mission 5
Win an Eating Contest
[06:44] Commentator
Ten seconds remain.
[06:46] Commentator
Mashiro only needs to finish
one more plate to win,
[06:48] Commentator
but is it too much for her?
She's not going for it.
[06:52] Commentator
Ouch! That look of anguish!
[06:55] Commentator
She looks like Tom H°nks in
The Green M°le when he had that UTI!
[07:01] Commentator
But she's finished it off*
through sheer willpower!
[07:03] Commentator
The last-minute entry, Mashiro, is the winner!
[07:06] Commentator
The sopping-wet, loincloth-clad woman
of many faces makes a stunning comeback!
[07:12] Thief
Wh-What the hell is with that chick?
[07:14] Thief
What will it take to break her?!
[07:17] Maki
Master, here's your coffee.
[07:20] Maki
You prefer it black, yes?
[07:22] Asunaro
Yes, thank you.
[07:24] Maki
What's the matter? You look lost in thought.
[07:27] Maki
Are you looking at
some obscene website again?
[07:30] Asunaro
Yeah.
[07:32] Asunaro
See? Check this out!
Isn't the way hippos defecate amazing?
[07:34] Maki
Hey! Why are you watching
such a disgusting video?!
[07:38] Asunaro
I'm just kidding.
[07:39] Asunaro
I was reading an article on a serial "smartphone
molester" who's been hitting this area.
SIGN Malicious demands with indecent motives
in serial smartphone molestations
[07:44] Maki
Oh, about those young women
losing their smartphones?
[07:49] Asunaro
Some guy claims he's found
the woman's smartphone,
[07:51] Asunaro
then gives her impossible tasks
to complete to get it back.
[07:56] Asunaro
And after he's had his fun
toying with the woman,
[07:58] Asunaro
she's lost all strength and rational thought,
making her easy prey for the man to attack.
[08:05] Maki
This man is definitely stealing
the smartphones, then.
[08:08] Asunaro
Most likely.
[08:09] Maki
He probably watches the suffering woman
from fairly close by.
[08:13] Maki
What a deplorable sadist.
[08:15] Maki
Scum. Trash. Garbage.
Glasses. Hakama wearer.
[08:19] Asunaro
Did you just seamlessly turn that
into insults against me?
[08:22] Asunaro
Still, would women really go through
all that just for their phones?
[08:25] Maki
Well, of course.
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN Mission 6
Earn 100,000 Yen
Doing Pantomime
[08:28] Maki
To a girl, someone seeing your smartphone
[08:30] Maki
is only just behind being seen naked
on the humiliation scale.
SIGN Money
Goes Here
[08:35] Man1
Wow. How is she holding that pose?
[08:38] Man2
Is she really human?
[08:39] Woman
I'll give her money.
[08:42] Thief
Tsk. This chick's a lost cause.
[08:48] Thief
She's not losing heart at all.
She's actually completing the tasks.
[08:52] Thief
What I want to see is
her face all distorted in agony.
[08:56] Thief
I might as well just toss
her phone somewhere and...
[08:59] Thief
Huh? It's gone.
[09:01] Fuu
Hey, mister.
[09:03] Fuu
You dropped your phone.
[09:05] Fuu
Just kidding.
[09:07] Fuu
I'm a good pickpocket, too, aren't I?
[09:10] Thief
Wh-Who are you?
[09:11] Fuu
Found the thief.
[09:13] Fuu
Prepare to launch!
[09:15] Thief
"Th-Thief"? And what are you launching?
[09:20] Nagumo
Oh, Fuu-chan says she found the thief.
[09:22] Mashiro
That little shit saves the day again!
[09:24] Nezu
What? How did she find him?
[09:26] Mashiro
I figured he'd be nearby to make sure
I was completing his missions,
[09:31] Mashiro
so I asked her to swipe the smartphones
off of any shady-looking guys around.
[09:36] Nezu
A-All of them?
[09:38] Mashiro
She secretly returns them
if the owner's innocent, of course.
[09:41] Nezu
So are you going to let Fuu-chan
take care of the thief?
[09:45] Nezu
Won't that put her in danger?
[09:46] Mashiro
Aw, she'll be fine. After all...
SIGN Solanine
[09:51] Mashiro
She has a guardian with her.
[09:54] Thief
They're like the Togro Brothers in
a timeline where shame doesn't exist!
[10:00] Thief
You won't catch me.
[10:02] Thief
I doubt that hulk can run very fast.
SIGN Lycorine
SIGN Solanine
[10:05] Thief
Okay, his movements go beyond
the very concept of speed!
[10:08] Nipple Tasting Man
Tasting time.
SIGN Tasting
SIGN (of Lethal
Poisons)
SIGN Solanine
SIGN Lycorine
SIGN Solanine
[10:11] Nipple Tasting Man
And now for seconds.
SIGN Seconds
(of Lethal
Poisons)
SIGN Lycorine
[10:13] Fuu
Hey, you've got a pretty good job, huh?
[10:16] Fuu
Adachi Koitaro-san, age thirty-four, single.
[10:20] Thief
Wh-When did you get my wallet?
[10:23] Fuu
I'm gonna give this to my dad, okay?
[10:25] Fuu
Oh, and just so you know,
my dad's a policeman.
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[10:33] Mashiro
Whew, what a relief!
[10:35] Mashiro
My smartphone came home.
[10:38] Mashiro
Thank you, Fuu-chan!
[10:40] Fuu
Stay away from me, ugly!
[10:41] Nipple Tasting Man
Do try to keep it more secure in the future.
[10:44] Nagumo
Hey, Tasting-san,
what happened to your nipples?
[10:47] Nipple Tasting Man
Bacteria from that thief's mouth
gave me a rash.
[10:51] Mashiro
That afro bastard gave us
trouble to the end.
[10:53] Nezu
Why do you think he had an afro, anyway?
It didn't even look good on him.
SIGN m 0 0 l 100 0 100 100 0 100
SIGN A Day
Earlier
[11:00] Azuha
What?
[11:01] (Flashback) Azuha
Did I drop my phone?
[11:05] (Flashback) Thief
This one's a beauty.
[11:07] (Flashback) Thief
Now, how should I make her suffer?
[11:10] (Flashback) Azuha
Man, this sucks.
It had all my personal info on it.
[11:15] (Flashback) Azuha
Oh well. I'll just blow it up.
[11:19] Mashiro NAR
And that's how he ended up with an afro.
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[11:25] Mashiro
♫ Happy birthday, old dude ♫
[11:29] Mashiro
♫ Happy birthday, old dude ♫
[11:34] Mashiro
♫ Happy birthday, dear Nagumo ♫
[11:38] Nagumo
No honorifics at all now, huh?
SIGN Happy Birthday
[11:40] Mashiro
♫ Happy birthday to you! ♫
[11:46] Nagumo
I almost feel bad about this.
[11:48] Nagumo
You threw a birthday party
for an old dude like me?
[11:51] Mashiro
Go on. Blow out the candles. All in one go.
[11:54] Nagumo
R-Right.
SIGN Happy Birthday
[12:04] Nagumo
Hang on. Mind if I lie down for a bit?
[12:07] Mashiro
You're short on oxygen and
you didn't even blow them out?
[12:10] Mashiro
Okay, I'll blow them out. Here I go!
[12:12] Nagumo
Wait! I have a bad feeling about...
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[12:16] Nagumo
I knew it!
[12:18] Maki
This is the real one.
[12:20] Maki
I had a hunch this would happen,
so I switched it out with a toy cake.
[12:24] Asunaro
That's my Maki-chan.
SIGN Maki-chan and Asunaro
[12:31] Nagumo
This cake is great.
It's not too sweet at all.
[12:35] Maki
I'm glad you like it.
[12:37] Maki
I chose one with a more subtle
sweetness to suit your tastes.
[12:42] Maki
I'll switch out your coffee for a warm one.
[12:45] Maki
And I'll get you a fresh hot towel.
[12:47] Nagumo
Oh, I can do that for myself.
[12:50] Maki
No, you're the star of the day.
You can stay seated.
[12:53] Maki
This special day only comes once a year.
[12:56] Nagumo
Man, I wonder where he found
such a thoughtful assistant.
[13:01] Mashiro
Don't look at me while you say that.
[13:03] Mashiro
I happen to believe I'm very thoughtful!
[13:06] Nagumo
Uh, I've never seen anyone less thoughtful!
[13:09] Nagumo
And how do you get cake there, anyway?
[13:11] Mashiro
Oh, right.
[13:13] Asunaro
Maki-chan was selected in an audition.
[13:16] Nagumo
An audition?
[13:17] Asunaro
When my popularity skyrocketed,
[13:20] Asunaro
I decided it was time
to start up my own business,
[13:24] Asunaro
so I talked to someone I know
who's a producer for a TV network.
[13:30] (Flashback) Producer FB
How about we run a large-scale TV campaign
and have candidates compete for the position?
[13:36] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Hmm... You think any decent
candidates will apply that way?
[13:39] (Flashback) Producer FB
Trust me, it'll work. It'll get your name out
there even more, too! How can you go wrong?
[13:45] (Flashback) Producer FB
How about five million
for your appearance fee?
[13:47] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Hmm... Five million, you say?
[13:49] Mashiro
What?! Who would hesitate
to agree to five million?!
[13:52] Mashiro
The old dude would run around naked
[13:55] Mashiro
and lick the producer's shoes
until they dissolved for that amount!
[13:58] Asunaro
Nagumo-sensei would never do such a thing!
[14:01] Nagumo
Actually, I would.
[14:02] Asunaro
Sensei?!
[14:03] Mashiro
Well? What happened after that?
[14:06] Mashiro
I wanna know more! Tell me!
[14:08] Asunaro
Sure. In that case...
[14:10] Asunaro
Asunaro Theater, Act 1:
SIGN Asunaro Theater
SIGN Act 1
SIGN The First
Meeting
[14:15] Asunaro
The First Meeting.
[14:16] Mashiro
This suddenly got obnoxious.
SIGN Asunaro's Partner Is You!: Public Audition for Assistant
[14:19] (Flashback) Producer FB
Dang, look at that turnout!
[14:22] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Do they really want to be my assistant,
or are they just fans?
[14:27] (Flashback) Producer FB
Who cares who your assistant is,
as long as she's cute?
[14:30] (Flashback) Producer FB
Just pick the one who's closest
to your ideal woman.
[14:35] (Flashback) Producer FB
We'll narrow it down
with a true-or-false quiz,
[14:37] (Flashback) Producer FB
then comes the swimsuit contest,
then the karaoke contest...
[14:46] Asunaro FB INT
Is this really how I should be*
choosing my assistant?
[14:50] Asunaro FB INT
Being a detective's assistant is dangerous work.
A half-hearted approach won't cut it.
[14:55] Asunaro FB INT
Some of these people might genuinely want
the position, but how do I find out for sure?
[15:02] MC FB
And now, the man you've all been waiting for:
[15:05] MC FB
the genius high school detective
who surpasses even Nagumo Keiichiro,
[15:08] MC FB
Asunaro Yuu-kun!
[15:13] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
So, um, thank you all for coming today.
[15:17] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
There's one thing I need to tell you
before we begin the audition.
[15:21] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
I've been lying to you all this time.
[15:25] (Flashback) Producer FB
What? This isn't in the script.
[15:28] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
The truth is...
[15:31] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
This is what I actually look like.
[15:37] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
So if any of you want to be my assistant
even though I look like this...
[15:48] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Yeah, that's what I expected.
[15:50] (Flashback) Producer FB
Dude! What the hell was that, Asunaro-kun?!
[15:53] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
I just screened out the candidates
who are fans of mine.
[15:57] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Of course, anyone who couldn't
see through such a simple disguise
[16:00] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
isn't fit to be my assistant, anyway.
[16:02] (Flashback) Producer FB
But that's no reason to fail all of them!
[16:05] (Flashback) Producer FB
What're you gonna do now?!
[16:07] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
It is what it is. I'll just start
from square one and...
[16:13] (Flashback) Maki FB
We aren't doing the audition?
[16:18] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
No, we're resuming right now.
[16:20] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
But may I ask one question first?
[16:22] (Flashback) Maki FB
Of course.
[16:23] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Why didn't you leave?
[16:26] (Flashback) Maki FB
Weren't you shocked when you saw my face?
[16:28] (Flashback) Maki FB
I knew right away it was a disguise.
[16:31] (Flashback) Maki FB
I'm very good at seeing through lies.
[16:34] (Flashback) Maki FB
Besides, it doesn't matter what you look like.
[16:37] (Flashback) Maki FB
As long as I get paid,
that's good enough for me.
[16:42] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
You pass.
[16:43] (Flashback) Producer FB
Wha—Asunaro-kun?!
[16:45] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Hup.
[16:47] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Would you start by telling me your name?
[16:50] (Flashback) Maki FB
Kazamaki Hana.
[16:51] (Flashback) Maki FB
And how shall I address you?
[16:54] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Well, let's see... You can call me "Master."
[16:59] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Today is the joyous day of
the Asunaro Detective Agency's founding.
[17:03] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
I look forward to working with you, Hana-san.
[17:05] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Let's have fun. What do you say?
[17:09] (Flashback) Maki FB
You can't hold a job forever
just because it's fun.
[17:12] (Flashback) Maki FB
I look forward to working with you, Master.
[17:16] Asunaro
So that's how we met.
[17:19] Mashiro
Wow, Maki-chan, you were so cool!
[17:21] Maki
Master, please! Don't tell them
such ridiculous things.
[17:24] Mashiro
So why did you decide to be
a detective's assistant, Maki-chan?
[17:29] Maki
W-Well, I...
[17:31] Maki
I always wanted to work in the background
supporting the one in the limelight.
[17:36] Asunaro
Oh, come on. You wanted to work
for me specifically, didn't you?
[17:41] Maki
You don't have any action commands other than
"excrete" and "sexually harass," do you, Master?
[17:46] Asunaro
That's the meanest one I've heard in a while!
[17:48] Asunaro
Oh, that's right.
[17:49] Asunaro
I wanted to hear your story,
too, Nagumo-sensei.
[17:53] Asunaro
Like the day you started up this office.
[17:55] Mashiro
Ooh! I don't know about that, either. Tell us!
[17:58] Nagumo
Aw, jeez. All right, then.
[18:01] Nagumo
How did the genius Nagumo come to be?
SIGN How Did the Genius Nagumo Come to Be?
[18:07] Mashiro
This is just as obnoxious as the last one.
[18:11] (Flashback) Nagumo FB
Wow, this really is a nice property.
[18:14] (Flashback) Staff1 FB
Isn't it? It has all the latest
modern conveniences.
[18:17] Mashiro
Wait, wait, wait!
What is that grotesque creature?!
[18:20] Nagumo
Oh, uh, I don't remember his face too well.
SIGN Realtors
[18:24] (Flashback) Staff1 FB
We'll take care of the paperwork in here.
[18:27] (Flashback) Staff2 FB
Have some tea.
[18:29] (Flashback) Staff3 FB
If you'll just look over these documents...
[18:32] (Flashback) Staff4 FB
Um, please sign this autograph board for me.
[18:34] Mashiro
Is this some kind of fever dream?!
[18:37] Nagumo
So I signed a bunch of paperwork,
and opened my office here.
[18:42] (Flashback) Nagumo FB
All right. Let's do this!
[18:45] (Flashback) Nagumo FB
I'll be the best detective in Japan.
[18:47] Mashiro
Why is even your own model
drifting off into obscurity?
[18:51] Nagumo
Been a while since I used
my head that much. I'm beat.
[18:54] Nagumo
I'm gonna lie down for a bit.
[18:56] Mashiro
You're really on the brink,
aren't you, old dude?
[18:59] Mashiro
Well, he's a lost cause.
Tell me more of your story.
[19:03] Asunaro
All right. How about the story
of our first job together?
[19:07] Asunaro
Asunaro Theater, Act 2:
SIGN Asunaro Theater
SIGN Act 2
SIGN Getting
Closer
[19:12] Asunaro
Getting Closer.
[19:13] Mashiro
Are you required to use
these obnoxious episode titles?
[19:17] (Flashback) Robber FB
Don't move a muscle!
[19:20] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Goodness. I didn't know our first job
together would be this tough.
[19:25] (Flashback) Maki FB
Until the police get here,
we should ensure the safety of the hostage,
[19:30] (Flashback) Maki FB
and make sure the criminal doesn't get away.
[19:35] (Flashback) Maki FB
I'll handle this.
[19:37] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Wait, Hana-san?
[19:39] (Flashback) Robber FB
What are you doing? Stay back!
[19:42] (Flashback) Maki FB
Would you take me as your hostage instead?
[19:47] (Flashback) Robber FB
Say what?
[19:48] (Flashback) Maki FB
As a woman, I'm weaker, so you won't
have to worry about me resisting.
[19:53] (Flashback) Maki FB
What do you say?
[19:58] (Flashback) Robber FB
Well, the man you're with
had better not move.
[20:03] (Flashback) Hostage FB
Thank you so much!
[20:07] (Flashback) Robber FB
Okay.
[20:08] (Flashback) Robber FB
Start up the getaway car.
[20:11] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Oh, the police are already here.
[20:13] (Flashback) Robber FB
What?!
[20:14] (Flashback) Robber FB
No way! They're here already?
[20:18] (Flashback) Robber FB
Wh-What? You were lying?
[20:21] (Flashback) Robber FB
There aren't any poli—
[20:25] (Flashback) Maki FB
M-Master? What are you doing?
[20:30] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
I got a good kick in there, huh?
[20:32] (Flashback) Maki FB
If we'd waited a few more minutes, the police
would've arrived and wrapped it up nicely.
[20:36] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
But that would've kept you
in danger even longer.
[20:39] (Flashback) Maki FB
That gun he has is fake. You didn't notice?
[20:43] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Of course I did.
[20:44] (Flashback) Maki FB
Then, why...
[20:46] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Why?
[20:48] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
Even if the gun was fake, my precious
assistant was still at risk of injury.
[20:58] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
I'm truly glad you weren't hurt.
[21:01] (Flashback) Maki FB
Have you ever been called
a womanizer, Master?
[21:04] (Flashback) Asunaro FB
What's this? Have you fallen in love with me?
[21:06] (Flashback) Maki FB
Take one more step,
and I'll sue you for sexual harassment.
[21:13] Mashiro
That almost makes you seem
legit heroic. How infuriating.
[21:17] Asunaro
I don't just seem heroic. I am heroic!
[21:22] Maki
Oh, come on. Isn't that
enough talk about the past?
[21:25] Maki
Well, Master? Are you having any cake?
[21:27] Asunaro
Okay, you can feed it to me.
[21:29] Maki
Please don't get ahead of yourself.
[21:34] Mashiro INT
Maki-chan really is amazing.
[21:36] Mashiro INT
Asunaro must've been so happy.
[21:39] Mashiro INT
I wonder if there's anything more
I can do for the old dude.
[21:59] Mashiro
Okay, for starters,
don't sleep through your own birthday!
[22:05] Nagumo
Water. Get me some water, please.
SIGN Next Time
SIGN Catch the
Sneak Photographer!
SIGN The Bullet Bride
10 - Catch the Sneak Photographer! / The Bullet Bride
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] Mashiro
I'll leave your tea here.
[00:09] Mashiro
What're you looking at, anyway?
[00:12] Mashiro
Eek! You pervert!
[00:15] Mashiro
Skipping work to smack your lips over
naked women in broad daylight on a weekday?!
[00:19] Mashiro
Your whole family tree of ancestors
will come back to curse you!
[00:22] Nagumo
Wait, hang on. You've got it all wrong.
[00:24] Mashiro
Hello, Azuha-san?
[00:26] Mashiro
Can you invent some pliers for crushing
the testicles of sex maniacs?
[00:29] Nagumo
What the hell? Even the devil would click
his tongue and veto that as a torture device.
[00:34] Mashiro
Oh, you've already made more than you
have any use for? Then, gimme one.
[00:37] Nagumo
Don't keep a stock of those.
[00:39] Mashiro
I bet you only see me as an outlet
for your lewd fantasies, don't you?
[00:43] Mashiro
Frankly, I can feel your dreary gaze
on me all the time.
[00:47] Nagumo
I'd get more turned on looking
at the Virgo sign than at you. Seriously.
[00:52] Mashiro
Get at least a little bit aroused, damn it!
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
SIGN Catch the
Sneak Photographer!
[02:32] Mashiro
What? This was for work?
[02:34] Nagumo
Of course it was.
[02:35] Nagumo
A water park called Sunday Land
asked for my help.
[02:39] Nagumo
Seems a sneak photographer
has been showing up at their pool.
[02:43] Nagumo
He calls himself Uncle Scoop,
and he sells the photos online.
[02:48] Nagumo
They can't turn to the police,
[02:50] Nagumo
because they don't want the scandal
to hurt the park's reputation.
[02:54] Nagumo
So the sneak photographer
has the run of the place right now.
[02:59] Mashiro
I seriously can't stand sneak photographers.
I'll find the creep and kill him.
[03:03] Nagumo
Don't squeeze voodoo dolls
over my brand-new leather shoes.
[03:09] Nagumo
Killing's out of the question,
but I hate what he's doing as much as you do.
[03:12] Mashiro
Ooh, are we gonna
go undercover at the pool?
[03:15] Nagumo
Yeah. We're gonna catch Uncle Scoop.
[03:18] Mashiro
Sweet!
[03:22] Nagumo
I used to chase sneak photographers
around all the time.
[03:26] Nagumo
Brings back memories. Those were the days.
[03:30] Nagumo
Oh, I had a dentist appointment today.
[03:32] Mashiro INT
He can only salvage
his most recent memories now.
[03:36] Nagumo
So yeah, you'll wanna
get your swimsuit ready.
[03:40] Mashiro
Ooh, what should I do?
I wonder if my old one still fits.
[03:44] Azuha
Hey, fresh young HS girl.
[03:45] Azuha
I brought you that testicle crusher.
[03:47] Mashiro
Azuha-san, wanna come
to the pool with us tomorrow?
[03:49] Azuha
Oh, totally!
[03:52] Nagumo
That looks more like
it'd cut off the whole nutsack!
[04:02] Mashiro
Sheesh.
[04:03] Mashiro
I just don't get why all these young guys
and girls like running around nearly naked.
[04:08] Nagumo
I'm feeling shock and fear
in parallel right now.
[04:12] Nagumo
What the hell are you wearing?!
[04:14] Mashiro
All my swimsuits are
really brightly colored,
[04:18] Mashiro
so I went for a mostly black one
to draw less attention.
[04:20] Nagumo
Every single eye in here is on you, doofus.
[04:23] Nagumo
Go change right now.
[04:24] Azuha
Man, gotta love the pool, though.
[04:28] Azuha
Bouncing female bodies.
[04:29] Azuha
Glistening muscles.
[04:30] Azuha
Shady guys with cameras.
[04:32] Mashiro
You're the bad guy, you shitbag yakuza!
[04:34] Nezu
Death!
SIGN Fin
SIGN Production & Copyright
[04:38] Nezu
I'm not, I swear. Just hear me out.
[04:41] Nagumo
You seem desperate, Nezu-kun.
[04:43] Nezu
Well, yeah! I've been falsely accused.
[04:46] Nezu
Huh? What's that?
[04:47] Azuha
A testicle crusher.
[04:50] Nezu
Uh, no, that's a weapon for cutting!
[04:52] Mashiro
Enough whining.
It's off to the police with you!
[04:54] Nezu
Hang on, please! I heard about the sneak
photographer, too! I'm here to catch him!
[04:59] Nezu
This camera is for capturing evidence!
[05:02] Nezu
I've only taken a few pictures of women!
[05:05] Mashiro
You've taken at least five!
[05:07] Mashiro
I'll scatter your ashes near
an all-girls high school for you.
[05:13] Lifeguard
No jumping in, please.
[05:15] Nagumo
For the love of...
[05:17] Asunaro
Oh, Sensei, it's you.
[05:20] Nagumo
Asunaro-kun and Maki-san?
[05:22] Maki
Um, h-hello.
[05:24] Mashiro
Oh, hey, it's the idiot.
[05:26] Asunaro
And why are you in a wetsuit?
[05:29] Azuha
Long time no see, Hana-san.
[05:31] Maki
Azuha-san.
[05:32] Azuha
Ain't seen ya since booze shut down your brain
and you spilled all your bodily secrets.
[05:36] Maki
I really wish you'd forget about that.
[05:40] Nagumo
You're after the sneak photographer, too?
[05:42] Maki
Yes, the park asked us for help.
[05:44] Mashiro
I hate to do this to Maki-chan, but we'll be
taking the credit for this one, idiot.
[05:50] Asunaro
I overlooked you calling me that
the first time, but I'd say you're the idiot.
[05:56] Maki
I wish those two would
get along a little better.
[06:00] Azuha
Say, Hana-san.
[06:01] Maki
Yes?
[06:02] Azuha
That stuff I gave you to increase
your bust size didn't work, huh?
[06:06] Maki
What?!
[06:06] Maki
I'd considered it a success
since I'd gone up one size,
[06:11] Maki
but I guess it was a wasted effort?
[06:13] Maki
Ah, I suddenly feel embarrassed to be showing
so much skin around all these teenagers.
[06:18] Azuha
I'll give you something stronger next time.
[06:21] Guest
Hold it right there, you!
[06:22] Guests
The sneak photographer!
[06:23] Guests
Catch him!
[06:25] Nagumo
Mashiro!
[06:25] Maki
Master!
[06:27] Asunaro
I know what you said earlier,
but we should work together now as pros.
[06:30] Asunaro
I'll go in from the left.
[06:32] Mashiro
Yeah, got it. Azuha-san, use the stuff.
[06:35] Azuha
Roger.
SIGN Powdered Skating Rink
[06:37] Azuha
Powdered Skating Rink!
[06:40] Nagumo
This is the first time I've ever seen
anyone reuse a Brth Care container.
[06:44] Azuha**
Allow me to explain. At first glance,
it looks like ordinary powder. However!
[06:49] Azuha
When it reacts with water,
it expands in size by dozens of times,
[06:52] Azuha
transforming into a highly viscous jelly.
[06:54] Azuha
In other words...
[06:56] Azuha
When scattered over a wet poolside...
[06:58] Azuha
it instantly transforms
into a slippery skating rink,
[07:04] Azuha
crushing the skulls of any fools on it!
[07:07] Maki
Oh, no! What a disaster!
[07:09] Azuha
Oops. I guess my throw wasn't
strong enough to reach the bad guy.
[07:13] PhotographerA
What's with these guys?
Now's my chance!
[07:16] Nagumo
Oh, that guy's acting weird.
[07:18] Nagumo
You're not getting away.
[07:20] PhotographerA
What? Shit!
[07:22] Nagumo
Why don't you hand over that camera?
[07:25] Nagumo
Well, well. Just look at these.
[07:27] Nezu
You're one nasty baddie, ain't ya?
[07:31] Nagumo
Maki-san.
[07:32] Maki
Yes?
[07:33] Nagumo
This guy isn't Uncle Scoop.
[07:36] Nagumo
The real culprit is someone else.
[07:39] Mashiro
What? But how can you tell?
[07:42] Maki
Mashiro-chan, how did you respawn so quickly?
[07:45] Nezu
She's like those trash NPCs
that spawn perpetually.
[07:48] Nagumo
Look at this guy's photos.
Not a single one has someone changing in it.
[07:53] Nagumo
This is a completely different kind of fetish.
[07:57] Mashiro
You mean someone else is
the real sneak photographer?
[07:59] Nagumo
Right.
[08:00] Mashiro
Then, we gotta find him, quick!
[08:03] Nezu
Hey, should we just leave Asunaro there?
[08:05] Maki
He's breathing on his own. He'll be fine.
[08:08] Nagumo
You triage like someone in a major disaster.
[08:11] Mashiro
Still, we noticed that pig
because he was careless,
[08:16] Mashiro
but aren't most sneak photographers
almost impossible to pinpoint?
[08:19] Maki
That's true.
[08:21] Maki
With smartphone technology
getting so advanced,
[08:23] Maki
sneak photographers
get sneakier by the year.
[08:26] Azuha
Cameras keep getting smaller, too.
[08:28] Azuha
Even things like pens and glasses
can be rigged with them.
[08:31] Azuha
So what now, Mr. Nagumo?
[08:33] Nagumo
I guess we'll just have to keep an eye out
for anything that seems off.
[08:37] Mashiro
Well, it is what it is.
[08:40] Mashiro
I'll just have to literally...
[08:42] Mashiro
peel off a layer or two!
[08:46] Mashiro
Monopolizing the gaze of every male with
bare skin more priceless than a bamboo flower,
[08:51] Mashiro
the dazzling-as-hell high school girl
offers herself as bait,
[08:54] Mashiro
so that the sneak photographer
will be unable to resist snapping a shot.
[08:57] Mashiro
Just make sure you nab him
when he does, and it's case closed.
[09:01] Mashiro
Well, go on. Keep mashing that shutter button
until your reflector plate cracks.
[09:07] Mashiro
Go on.
[09:09] Mashiro
Go on.
[09:11] Mashiro
Go on.
[09:13] Mashiro
Go on.
[09:15] Mashiro
Go on.
[09:23] PhotographerA
Hey, an Anax parthenope.
SIGN Who,
me?!
SIGN Who,
me?!
SIGN Take the
damn
photo!
[09:25] Mashiro
Take the damn photo!
SIGN Who,
me?!
SIGN Take the
damn
photo!
[09:27] PhotographerA
Who, me?!
[09:28] Mashiro
How does a gorgeous HS girl
lose to a dragonfly?!
[09:32] Mashiro
Why isn't anyone taking my picture?!
You dumbasses!
[09:34] Mashiro
I'm the cutest one here and you know it!
[09:36] GuyA
Wh-What's that chick's deal?
What's with her mental state?
[09:40] GuyB
Is she the vengeful spirit of a gravure idol
who didn't win Miss Magazne?!
[09:44] Azuha
Uh, we can't do an investigation
if we're drawing this much attention.
[09:49] Azuha
We're gonna have to find the bad guy
without the fresh young HS girl.
[09:52] Azuha
Click?
[09:53] Maki
Azuha-san! Your photo was just taken!
[09:56] Maki
He's trying to escape into the crowd.
[09:58] Maki
Master, please wake up already.
[10:01] Maki
Let's circle around and pincer him.
[10:03] Maki
Wait, it's the same thing
that always happens!
[10:06] Asunaro
Gosh, what to do?
[10:10] Asunaro INT
How very odd.
[10:12] Asunaro INT
Why am I here with no clothes on?
[10:15] Asunaro INT
Who is that woman who's calling me "Master"?
[10:18] Asunaro INT
And who am I, anyway?
[10:20] Maki
He hit his head so hard, it reset!
[10:23] Maki
And where's Mashiro-chan?
[10:25] Maki
Wow, no help there. She's so shocked,
she's posing like a nursing chimpanzee.
[10:29] Maki
And Nagumo-sensei?
[10:31] Nagumo
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
[10:33] Maki
He's down with a leg cramp?
When he's hardly even moved yet?
[10:36] Nezu
Leave this to me, Maki-chan!
[10:39] Maki
Nezu-san!
[10:40] Nezu
I've got long legs,
so I'm really good at chasing—
[10:44] Nezu
Bug. Huge. Can't.
[10:47] Maki
Mashiro-chan said he was more useless
than a 100-yen-store shoehorn.
[10:50] Maki
Guess she was right. Bah.
[10:52] Maki
Azuha-san! We'll have to
catch this guy ourselves!
[10:55] Azuha
Ooh! What a big Anax parthenope!
[10:58] Azuha
I wanna fight it with my Zod!
[11:00] Maki
Our whole party's down!
[11:02] Maki
In that case...
[11:04] Maki
I'll catch him on my own!
[11:07] Maki INT
I can do this.
[11:08] Maki INT
I've been working out and
jogging every day to toughen up.
[11:13] Maki INT
I work hard to be as useful as possible.
[11:22] Maki
I had a feeling ever since
I first saw your photos online...
[11:26] Maki
that "Uncle Scoop"...
[11:28] Maki
was a woman.
[11:30] PhotographerB
Shit.
[11:31] Maki
It didn't make sense that so many of
the photos were taken in the locker room.
[11:35] Maki
And from that angle, too.
Only a woman could get those shots.
[11:40] PhotographerB
You're pretty smart.
[11:42] PhotographerB
Most people get complacent
just knowing that I'm a woman.
[11:46] PhotographerB
It was a surefire way to make
easy money, but fine. I give up.
[11:51] Maki
I'm glad you're so reasonable.
[11:53] Maki
Allow me to accompany you to the police.
[11:57] PhotographerB
I'm glad it was a woman who caught me.
[12:06] Asunaro
Maki-chan!
[12:08] PhotographerB
Sorry! I won't post your photo online, okay?
[12:14] PhotographerB
What? Hey! Aren't you embarrassed?
[12:18] Maki
No, not particularly.
[12:21] Maki
Letting a cowardly villain like you get away
would be far more humiliating for a detective.
[12:28] PhotographerB
Y-You're...
[12:31] Nagumo
Okay, we got her.
[12:33] Asunaro
Maki-chan! Are you okay?
[12:35] Maki
Yes. Not a problem.
[12:38] Asunaro
I'm sorry. My negligence
caused you such humiliation.
[12:42] Maki
I'm not a child.
This isn't enough to faze me.
[12:46] Maki
Well, our job here is finished now, yes?
[12:50] Maki
I'll get changed.
[12:52] Asunaro
Oh, uh, sure.
[13:02] Maki
Oh my god!
[13:05] Maki
I'm so embarrassed, I could die!
[13:08] Maki
And Master might have seen me.
[13:10] Maki
How am I supposed to face him now?
[13:16] Nagumo
One, two, three...
[13:19] Nezu
Feels like it's been a while
since we finished a job properly.
[13:23] Nagumo
This'll cover my living expenses for the month.
[13:26] Mashiro
There's a video of me in my swimsuit online!
SIGN Not for children! Chimpanzee courtship behavior / baboon copulation
[13:31] Nagumo
Wait, that's the Discovry Channel!
SIGN This female is horny and wants to exhibit courtship behavior,
SIGN but these males are not turned on at all.
[13:46] Nezu
It's a double feature
with baboon copulation, huh?
[13:56] Nagumo
Good. It still fits.
[14:01] Mashiro
You actually own a suit like that, old dude?
[14:03] Mashiro
You usually wear flimsy old things that
look like tofu skins chewed up by a tapir!
[14:07] Nagumo
I have a wedding to go to next week.
[14:10] Nagumo
A mutual police acquaintance with Mimasaka.
SIGN Mimasaka
[14:14] Nagumo
Some real bigwigs are gonna be there.
I can't go in my usual getup.
[14:21] Mashiro
Take me with you!
SIGN Take me with you!
[14:24] Nagumo
My suit. My suit's worthless now.
[14:27] Mashiro
Oops, sorry. I spat a little.
[14:31] Nagumo
Weddings aren't even all that fun, you know.
[14:35] Mashiro
I just want to be there for the bouquet toss.
[14:37] Mashiro
Whoever catches it is supposed to be
the next one to get married, right?
[14:42] Mashiro
It's always been my dream
to wear a wedding dress.
[14:47] Mashiro
Don't you dare make a comment about
putting fancy clothes on a packhorse driver!
[14:50] Nezu
I didn't even say anything yet!
[14:53] Nagumo
Oh, fine. I'll ask Mimasaka.
[14:57] Mashiro
Yay! I love you, old dude.
[14:59] Nezu
I'd like to go, too.
[15:01] Mashiro
Oh, I wonder what I should wear.
[15:03] Mashiro
A bulletproof vest? Or maybe chain mail?
[15:06] Nezu
I always wanted to make
some connections with bigwigs.
[15:10] Nagumo
Just please don't do anything dumb, okay?
[15:14] Mashiro
Don't worry. Just look at these eyes.
[15:16] Nagumo
They look like Spngebob's
when he has a naughty idea.
SIGN The Bullet Bride
SIGN One Week Later
[15:30] MC
There's an incredibly severe typhoon
making landfall today,
[15:34] MC
but due to the scheduling,
the ceremony will proceed as planned.
[15:40] Mashiro
Why aren't they postponing?!
[15:41] Mashiro
And when it's an outdoor
wedding, of all things?!
[15:45] Nagumo
This was apparently the only day
all the VIPs could show up at once.
[15:48] Nezu
I can't tell who anyone is!
[15:51] Nezu
Boss, where are the bigwigs
I should make connections with?
[15:54] Nagumo
If they find out you're yakuza,
they'll pulverize you.
[15:58] Nagumo
There they are!
[15:59] Nagumo
That's the police department's superintendent.
[16:02] Nagumo
That's the head of the Cabinet
Intelligence and Research Office.
[16:05] Nagumo
That's the head of the
National Security Agency.
[16:08] Nezu
The head of the National Security Agency
is in the least secure state of all!
[16:12] Nagumo
Damn, it's so hard to see.
[16:15] Nagumo
Where's Mimasaka?
[16:18] Mashiro
Isn't that him?
[16:19] Nagumo
H-He's...
[16:21] Nagumo
putting his own body on the line
to protect the wedding cake.
[16:24] Mashiro
Never missing a chance to make himself
look good in front of the VIPs.
[16:28] Nezu
So that's what it means
to be part of an organization.
[16:31] Mimasaka
A whole herd of Red Hares hiding from
the rain under newly replaced tatami.
[16:34] Mashiro
He's acting weird!
[16:35] Mimasaka
A whole drove of Red Hares hiding
from the rain under newly replaced tatami.
[16:36] Nagumo
No! He's got the wind sickness!
[16:39] Nagumo
Oh, right. Food. Let's eat.
[16:41] Nagumo
It's buffet-style, so take what you like.
[16:43] Mashiro
The wind's so intense,
I can't tell what anything is!
[16:46] Nezu
Oh, I'll go get it!
[16:48] Nagumo
Oh, perfect. A salad bowl just flew at me.
[16:52] Nagumo
Mm, yeah. They definitely
used the best ingredients.
[16:55] Mashiro
Old dude! That's a decorative fake plant!
[17:00] Nezu
Boss! I managed to scrape
some stuff together.
[17:04] Nezu
Give it a try.
[17:05] Nagumo
Scraps.
SIGN Scraps
[17:08] Nezu
Most of the main dishes blew away.
[17:10] Nagumo
Is this a deployment party
for some broke samurai?
[17:13] Mashiro
It's like a failed episode
of Souten Restaurant.
[17:16] MC
The bride and groom will now begin
the candle-lighting service.
[17:21] MC
They will be lighting the candles
placed on each table,
[17:25] MC
but since a flame would
be blown out immediately,
[17:29] MC
they will use a torch
to light the candles instead.
[17:33] MC
We have prepared dried grass and pine resin
for each table to facilitate the lighting.
[17:44] Bride
Somosan!
[17:45] Guest
Seppa!
[17:46] Guest
Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
[17:51] Nezu
The dried grass and the southeasterly wind
are spreading the fire!
[17:55] Nagumo
What is this, Greek fire?
SIGN (Greek Fire)
[17:57] Mashiro
It's like a re-enactment of the Battle
of Red Cliffs made by Tameshite Batten.
[18:01] Nagumo
Mimasaka! Now's your chance
to raise your standing! Do something!
[18:05] Nagumo
Huh? He's gone?
[18:06] Mashiro
That's not him, old dude. That's the cake!
[18:09] Nagumo
The cake?
[18:10] Mashiro
He got absorbed into the cake,
thanks to a gust of wind.
[18:13] Nagumo
Mimasaka!
[18:16] Nagumo
Mashiro, save him.
[18:18] Mashiro
But I'm in a dress,
so I don't have any of my tools.
[18:21] Nagumo
So do something using the stuff that's here.
[18:23] Mashiro
What? Um, uh...
[18:25] Mashiro
Okay, here!
[18:27] Mashiro
I gave him a Cocoa Cigrette
to breathe through.
[18:29] Nagumo
Those aren't hollow, though.
[18:31] Nagumo
Whatever. Let's just pull him out.
[18:33] Mashiro
Wait. My dress will get dirty.
It's the only one I have!
[18:37] Nagumo
His life is the only one he has, too.
[18:39] MC
Ladies and gentlemen,
our sincerest apologies.
[18:41] Mashiro
Huh?
[18:43] MC
A problem has arisen, prompting*
a drastic change to the schedule.
[18:46] MC
The bride will now perform the bouquet toss.
[18:49] Mashiro
Yes! This is what I came here for!
[18:53] Nezu
No! Boss got absorbed, too!
[18:55] Nezu
Save him, Big Sis!
[18:57] Mashiro
Sorry, old dude. I'm kinda busy right now.
Just kill some time in nirvana.
[19:02] Nezu
Sounds like you're telling him
to go Dot*ur in the next life.
[19:05] MC
The bride raises the bouquet...
[19:09] MC
And there it goes.
[19:10] MC
The wind's carrying it farther and farther.
[19:13] Nagumo
An ICBM?!
[19:15] Nezu
It's gonna fly right off the grounds.
[19:23] Nagumo
Mashiro, this is one
you should probably give up on.
[19:27] Mashiro
On your marks.
[19:29] Mashiro
Set.
[19:31] Mashiro
Go!
[19:32] MC
And all the ladies take off running at once.
[19:35] Nagumo
I didn't know there were that many here!
[19:36] Nezu
I underestimated the enthusiasm
women have for a bouquet toss!
[19:40] Nagumo
Follow them, Nezu-kun.
[19:41] Nezu
Shouldn't we help this Mimasaka guy, though?
[19:44] Nagumo
Huh? Uh, huh? Um...
[19:47] Nagumo
Okay, here.
[19:48] Nezu
A Yoku M°ku? I mean, it is hollow, but...
[19:50] Nagumo
Let's go.
[19:51] Nezu
Right.
SIGN Tamachi Meats
[19:57] Son
Mom, why bother opening the store
in this weather? No one's gonna show up.
[20:01] Mom
Don't be silly.
[20:03] Mom
For some reason, our croquettes
fly off the shelves during typhoons.
[20:07] Mom
We can't call ourselves butchers
if we didn't open now.
[20:09] Son
Mom...
[20:12] Son
Okay, I'll help.
[20:15] Mom
That's hot!
[20:18] Son
M-Mom! A meteorite fell into the fryer!
[20:23] Mom
Don't underestimate a butcher.
[20:26] Mom
There's nothing in this world that I can't fry!
[20:31] Nagumo
The bouquet fried up all nice and crispy!
[20:35] Nezu
Now it's wrapped up...
[20:36] Nezu
and rolling away!
[20:42] Nagumo
Everything's sticking to it
and making a giant ball.
[20:59] Nezu
It's coming this way!
[21:01] Nagumo
Run!
[21:07] Mashiro
Help me out, you two.
[21:10] Nagumo
R-Right!
[21:10] Nezu
Got it!
[21:12] Nagumo
What's...
[21:13] Mashiro
If we miss it here, the next woman
in line will catch the bouquet.
[21:17] Mashiro
So we'll stop it together!
[21:18] Nezu
But how do we do that in this position?
[21:21] Mashiro
We work together!
[21:22] Mashiro
Mashiro stops the bouquet.
[21:25] Mashiro
Nezu holds her up.
[21:26] Mashiro
And Nagumo sits there, looking shy.
SIGN Grin
SIGN Didn't work
[21:29] Three
It didn't work!
[21:32] BacheloretteA
Look. The bouquet's slowing down.
[21:34] BacheloretteB
Now! Charge!
[21:36] Mashiro
Shit. I fell behind.
[21:38] Mashiro
That bouquet is mine!
[21:43] Nagumo
W-Wow.
[21:44] Nagumo
It's like an egg still being attacked
by goblin sperm even after it's fertilized.
[21:49] Nezu
Maybe the bouquet toss also represents
a wish to be blessed with a child.
[21:56] Nezu
The bouquet!
[21:57] Nezu
Big Sis, you did it!
[22:01] Nagumo
No, that's...
[22:05] Nagumo INT
I didn't know Maki-san was here.
SIGN Next Time
SIGN Mashiro and
the Psychic of Love
SIGN In Technicolor
11 - Mashiro and the Psychic of Love
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[01:34] Mashiro
Here you are.
[01:35] Mashiro
Sorry it's just cheap tea.
[01:36] Yuji
Well, golly gee,
I sure do 'preciate yer kindness.
[01:40] Mashiro
"Golly gee"?
[01:42] Yuji
This here's my first time in Shinjuku, y'know.
SIGN Client
SIGN Kamuchakka
Yuji
[01:45] Yuji
It's all too doggone fancy-schmancy for me.
[01:49] Mashiro
He has a hell of an accent. Where's he from?
[01:52] Nagumo
Dunno, but it must be pretty far away.
[01:55] Nagumo
Nice to meet you. I'm Nagumo, the detective.
[01:58] Yuji
I'm Kamuchakka Yuji.
[02:00] Mashiro
K-Kamucha?
[02:02] Nagumo
Where are you from?
[02:04] Yuji
Zundunukounnu Village.
[02:06] Mashiro
Huh? What was that?
[02:07] Nagumo
S-Sorry, could you repeat that?
[02:10] Yuji
Zuzunduzajunanuukonnu Village.
[02:13] Mashiro
Didn't that change from the first time?
[02:15] Nagumo
One more time, please?
[02:17] Yuji
Zuzunnuzajunanuunko Village.
[02:20] Mashiro
You clearly said "unko" at the end there!
[02:23] Nagumo
Okay, forget the name of your village.
What brings you here?
[02:26] Yuji
Well, y'see, my village, Ideoto...
[02:29] Mashiro
Now you can say it just fine!
SIGN Mashiro and
the Psychic of Love
SIGN In Technicolor
[02:36] Yuji
Ideoto is a li'l bitty village
deep in them thar hills.
[02:40] Yuji
It's all self-sufficient,
[02:42] Yuji
but also all closed off,
'cause nobody's allowed to leave.
[02:46] Nagumo
Was it all right for you to leave, then?
[02:50] Yuji
Me an' my wife, Rin, are allowed outta town
once a month to shop fer supplies an' such.
[02:55] Nagumo
Ah, I see.
[02:57] Yuji
These days, folks in Ideoto keep
comin' down with some kinda sickness.
[03:01] Yuji
The old shaman lady told us
it was the work of some evil spirits.
[03:05] Yuji
Then, one day, a man callin' himself
"Airan" done showed up.
[03:10] Yuji
Airan said he was a psychic,
[03:13] Yuji
and he had clairvoyance, telepathy,
and could communicate with spirits.
[03:18] Yuji
The villager folks didn't
wanna believe him at first.
[03:21] Yuji
But then, Airan started passin' around some
weird water, callin' it "Water of Genesis."
[03:26] Yuji
And wouldn't ya know it?
[03:27] Yuji
The folks who drank the water
started feelin' better right before our eyes.
[03:31] Yuji
Our village was always religious,
so everyone started worshipin' Airan as a god.
[03:38] Nagumo
A psychic showing up out of nowhere, huh?
[03:41] Nagumo
Does seem kinda shady to me.
[03:43] Mashiro
Really? I'd believe him.
SIGN What's to believe?
You've destroyed
one spirit already!
...says his face
[03:48] Yuji
Then, just the other day,
Airan suddenly blurted out somethin' like...
[03:54] (Flashback) Airan
Someone in this village
is possessed by a demon.
[03:57] (Flashback) Airan
If nothing is done,
it will surely destroy the village.
[04:00] (Flashback) VillagerA
Scary.
[04:02] (Flashback) VillagerB
Who could it be?
[04:03] (Flashback) Airan
I'm sorry to say this, but to save the village,
this person must be executed.
[04:10] (Flashback) Airan
Ah, I've found you.
[04:12] (Flashback) Airan
You, the woman fishing popcorn
kernels out of your teeth with your tongue!
[04:17] (Flashback) Airan
Die for the sake of this village.
[04:20] Nagumo
And this woman...
[04:21] Yuji
Yes. It was my wife, Rin.
[04:24] Yuji
Rin's gonna be killed if we don't do somethin'!
The execution's tomorrow evenin' at six!
[04:29] Yuji
Please! You gotta save my Rin!
[04:33] Mashiro
Are you all right? Here, have a hot towel.
[04:38] Mashiro
You really love your wife,
don't you, Kamuchakka-san?
[04:43] Yuji
'Course I do. She's got a rack on her
that could clear the clouds from the sky.
[04:47] Mashiro
Ugh! Men!
[04:49] Yuji
I'll pay y'all, of course.
[04:51] Yuji
I've got money I've been
savin' up fer our weddin'.
[04:54] Yuji
I dunno if'n it's enough, but...
[04:57] Yuji
Could ya please do it for five million?
[05:01] Nagumo
Kamuchakka-san.
[05:03] Nagumo
Frankly, I couldn't care
less about your money.
[05:07] Nagumo
Those tears you shed a moment ago...
[05:10] Nagumo
were more than pretty enough
to give me a reason to act.
[05:15] Nagumo
Leave this to us.
[05:16] Nagumo
We will not fail to rescue your wife from...
[05:19] Nagumo
Hell yeah! Five million, baby! Score!
[05:22] Yuji INT
His inner thoughts clean
banished that false front!
SIGN Ideoto Village
[05:29] Nagumo
W-Wait up. Sitting on that bus
for so long wrecked my back.
SIGN 8 Hours Until Rin's Execution
[05:33] Mashiro
Jeez. Would you get it together?
[05:37] Yuji
We made it.
[05:38] Yuji
That there house is where he's keepin' Rin.
[05:41] Yuji
Mr. Detective, ain't nobody around.
Now's yer chance.
[05:44] Chief
What kept ya so long, Yuji?
[05:47] Yuji
Ch-Chief!
[05:48] Chief
What're ya lettin' these people
into our village for?
[05:51] Nagumo
Oh, I apologize for dropping in unannounced.
[05:53] Nagumo
My name is Nagumo. I research
cultural anthropology at the university.
[05:58] Nagumo
This is my assistant.
[06:01] Chief
A college professor?
What business y'all got here?
[06:04] Nagumo
I wanted to see Airan-sama's
miraculous powers with my own eyes.
[06:11] Nagumo
But don't worry. I just want to see them
used once, then I'll leave for good.
[06:15] Shamaness
No.
[06:18] Villagers
Bam!
[06:19] Yuji
Sh-Shamaness!
[06:22] Shamaness
Run those people out of here right now.
[06:24] Shamaness
They will bring disaster to this village.
[06:27] Chief
Shamaness, don't get too angry
or your blood pressure'll—
[06:30] Shamaness
You people have come to steal
Airan-sama's powers, haven't you?
[06:34] Nagumo
Oh, no, it's only for research.
[06:37] Shamaness
Just look at the ominous cracks
in my crystal ball.
[06:40] Nagumo
I think that was caused
by your own potential.
[06:43] Shamaness
Especially that young girl there.
[06:45] Shamaness
She's a demon child, spawned by a demon.
[06:47] Shamaness
Kill her before she visits
disaster upon us all!
[06:50] Shamaness
Kill her! Kill her! Kill her!
[06:52] Shamaness
Kill her! Kill her! Kill her—
[06:54] Villagers
Shamaness!
[06:56] Chief
She took away the shamaness's
mobility with one low blow!
[07:00] Shamaness
What the hell are you doing, you brat?
[07:02] Mashiro
Shut it, you old hag!
[07:03] Mashiro
Say what you want about me,
but don't you dare badmouth my mom!
[07:08] Mashiro
Actually, don't badmouth me, either, jerk!
[07:11] Villager1
Impossible. She's our shaman.
[07:14] Villager2
A single hit from a li'l girl
did a shaman in?
[07:16] Villager3
A shaman?
[07:18] Nagumo
Were shamans always known
for being so physically strong?
[07:22] Mashiro
Bah, ignore this old hag. Let's go.
[07:24] Nagumo
Uh, hey...
[07:26] Shamaness
How many times must I tell you
that I won't let you pass?
[07:30] Villager4
There it is! Her Shaman Suplex!
[07:33] Villager5
That's the way a shaman oughta be!
[07:35] Villager6
Incidentally, you haven't said
"I won't let you pass" once, Shamaness!
[07:39] Shamaness
Sorry, little brat.
[07:41] Shamaness
It's all for the sake of this village.
[07:43] Shamaness
For various reasons, this village has
cut itself off from the outside world.
[07:49] Shamaness
Yes, it happened 17 years ago...
SIGN 17 Years Ago
[07:53] Mashiro
You're open!
[07:55] Shamaness
You brat! Who attacks
mid-flashback? You ain't normal!
[07:58] Mashiro
I don't wanna hear an old hag with
the body of Stallne talk about "normal"!
[08:02] Chief
S-Someone stop them!
[08:04] Nagumo
Just for a little bit. I just want
to see Airan-sama for a little bit.
[08:09] Chief
Y-Yeah, but if the shamaness says no, then...
[08:14] Mashiro
The shamaness says it's okay.
[08:16] Chief
Sh-Shamaness!
[08:20] Guide
This is Airan-sama's mansion.
[08:22] Nagumo
Sure is nice.
[08:25] Nagumo
I'll go in and meet Airan-sama.
[08:27] Nagumo
Mashiro-kun, have Yuji-san
show you around the village.
[08:30] Mashiro
Got it, Prof!
[08:32] Guide
Wait here. I'll clear it
with Airan-sama first.
[08:38] Nagumo
Head for the hut Rin-san's being held in.
[08:41] Nagumo
Go ahead and get her out if you can.
[08:43] Mashiro
Roger. What're you gonna do?
[08:45] Nagumo
I'm gonna expose this Airan guy's lies
and bring the villagers back to their senses.
[08:52] Guide
Okay, you're cleared.
He said you must enter alone.
[08:57] Nagumo
Pardon me.
[09:01] Airan
Well, hello there.
Welcome to Ideoto Village.
[09:06] Nagumo INT
He's younger than I expected.
[09:08] Nagumo
It's an honor to meet you.
[09:11] Airan
So you wish to behold my powers?
[09:13] Nagumo
Yes. I'm interested in psychic abilities.
[09:17] Airan
To me, it looks like you're not so much
"interested" as "ready to expose me."
[09:23] Nagumo
Certainly not.
[09:26] Airan
Very well. I shall show you.
[09:32] Airan
Iimoteshi shi'a yai itaresabutsu
[09:33] Nagumo INT
Most guys like him are magicians.
[09:36] Nagumo INT
His skills and eloquence might have*
the villagers fooled, but not me.
[09:37] Airan
itaremasaha niuyunikuba
nodo hosukutsu meuwoikashi
[09:41] Nagumo INT
I'll figure out your lies
and expose them in public,
[09:44] Nagumo INT
so that you lose your clout
with these guys and they wake up.
[09:45] Airan
dakisugauyuniyoki soyoshime nodonsa ipaipa...
[09:47] Nagumo INT
Then I'll rescue Rin-san.
[09:51] Airan
I see it. Yes, I see it.
[09:55] Airan
You...
[09:56] Airan
have a bad back and bad knees.
[09:58] Airan
Your guardian spirit tells me so.
[10:01] Nagumo INT
Wh-What? He guessed my health problems?
[10:05] Nagumo INT
Did Yuji-san give him that information?
[10:08] Nagumo INT
No, I didn't tell him
anything about my health.
[10:11] Nagumo INT
Is this guy the real deal?
[10:16] Airan
So is that enough?
[10:19] Airan
I must be taking my leave.
[10:21] Airan
There is an execution to prepare for.
[10:27] Airan
You should come and watch.
[10:29] Airan
A demon is going to be burned most lavishly.
[10:33] Nagumo INT
This creep might be bad news, Mashiro.
[10:39] Yuji
Wait up! It's too dangerous to go alone!
[10:43] Mashiro
Oh, it's fine. I'll just smash that hut
open with my spear hand.
[10:47] Shamaness
Halt!
[10:49] Mashiro
The old hag?
[10:50] Villagers
Shamaness returns!
SIGN Shamaness Returns
[10:52] Mashiro
You still wanna fight?!
I'm not going back, no matter what!
[10:56] Shamaness
Now, just calm down.
[10:58] Shamaness
You mustn't destroy that hut.
[11:00] Shamaness
It's alarmed, so everyone will
come running the moment you do.
[11:04] Mashiro
Old hag?
[11:07] Shamaness
Take that hidden passage.
[11:10] Mashiro
Hey, you're actually nice. Thanks, old hag.
[11:15] Mashiro
So how does this open?
[11:18] Shamaness
Don't make me keep telling you
there's no such thing!
[11:21] Mashiro
You never said it at all!
[11:23] Yuji
Sh-Shamaness!
[11:25] Shamaness
Yuji. I sympathize about your wife...
[11:30] Shamaness
but the village comes before one person!
[11:32] Shamaness
It's the duty of the young folks to protect
this village, even if it costs your life!
[11:36] Mashiro
Oh, come on.
[11:38] Mashiro
That sure is funny, old hag.
[11:41] Mashiro
We young folks have a future...
[11:43] Mashiro
unlike you!
[11:46] Shamaness
Oh? You can still stand after that?
[11:49] Shamaness
My blood hasn't run this hot in a long time.
[11:53] Mashiro
The detective...
[11:54] Shamaness
...and the shaman...
[11:55] Mashiro/Shamaness
...face off with their pride
on the line, starting now.
[11:59] Yuji
I wish those names better
represented your personalities.
SIGN 3 Hours Until Rin's Execution
[12:05] Nagumo
That psychic...
[12:08] Nagumo
He was right about a secret
only a few people know.
[12:13] Nagumo
And I can't rely on Mashiro
to handle everything.
[12:16] Nagumo
Guess I'll try to get some more info.
SIGN Testimony 1
[12:20] Praying Woman
Airan-sama is our savior.
[12:24] Praying Woman
I was down for so long
with the spirit sickness.
[12:28] Nagumo
Spirit sickness?
[12:29] Praying Woman
It's when a spirit possesses your body
and plays tricks on it.
[12:33] Praying Woman
But Airan-sama's qigong and Water
of Genesis got me back on my feet.
[12:38] Right Loud Guy
Airan-sama is the real deal!
No doubt about it!
SIGN Testimony 2
[12:42] Left Loud Guy
After he exorcised my evil spirit,
[12:44] Left Loud Guy
the awful headaches I kept having
cleared right up!
[12:47] Akemi Fan
Just look at this, Mr. Scholar!
SIGN Akemi
Forever
SIGN Testimony 3
[12:50] Akemi Fan
That evil spirit ravaged my skin,
and Airan-sama's qigong cleared it right up.
[12:55] Akemi Fan
Ignore the tattoo on my back for now.
[12:59] Yokai Baba
Airan-sama can give you
pills with qi in them.
SIGN Testimony 4
[13:04] Yokai Baba
They work like a charm on the spirit sickness.
[13:07] Yokai Baba
Why don't you try one, too?
[13:09] Nagumo
Well, thank you.
[13:13] Nagumo
I see.
[13:14] Nagumo
I'm starting to get the picture.
[13:17] Nagumo
I'll have to check around there
to verify the truth.
[13:33] Nagumo
Just as I suspected.
[13:34] Nagumo
Security's lax because of the execution.
[13:37] Nagumo
Now, hopefully, I'll find something in here.
[13:45] Nagumo
Ow, ow, ow! My back!
[13:48] Nagumo
Sure wish I could get
Airan-sama to heal this, too.
[13:53] Nagumo
I knew it. So now the question is:
Why execute Rin-san? What's he after?
[14:01] Nagumo
What is this?
[14:05] Nagumo
Th-This is...
[14:07] Nagumo
Don't tell me Airan is...
[14:09] Mashiro
♫ Come back! ♫
[14:14] Boobs Farmer
You wanna know about Rin-chan?
[14:16] Nagumo
Was there anything strange about her?
Even something very small?
[14:20] Boobs Farmer
Well, she's got them big ol' knockers.
[14:23] Nagumo
I've heard the rumors, yes.
[14:25] Boobs Farmer
Other than that, everyone in the village
got sick 'cause of evil spirits,
[14:30] Boobs Farmer
but Rin-chan had it real bad.
[14:34] Boobs Farmer
Even the shamaness's
Shaman Stretching didn't do shit.
[14:38] Boobs Farmer
Airan-sama's qigong made her a lot better,
[14:42] Boobs Farmer
but then that happened.
[14:45] Boobs Farmer
I just feel awful for poor Rin-chan,
bein' executed and all.
[14:50] Nagumo
I feel your pain.
[14:51] Boobs Farmer
I wish I coulda felt 'em up just once.
[14:54] Nagumo
Okay, I guess I don't.
[14:56] Sake Bottle Man
Hey!
[14:58] Sake Bottle Man
Mr. Scholar!
[15:00] Sake Bottle Man
Since yer here an' all,
have some of our local sake.
[15:04] Nagumo
Wow, I appreciate it.
[15:09] Nagumo INT
I've gotten a fair bit of intel.
[15:12] Nagumo INT
If I put it all in order...
SIGN Rin-san's Health
SIGN One Outing per Month
SIGN The Qi Used on the Villagers
SIGN Big Boobs
SIGN The Stuff in Airan's Mansion
SIGN My Guardian Spirit
SIGN An Evil Spirit Possession Epidemic
SIGN Big Boobs
SIGN Airan's Goal
[15:15] Nagumo INT
I can see it. I'm so close to the truth.
[15:23] Nagumo INT
Man, this sake's strong. It's so good.
SIGN Sweet Sake
[15:26] Nagumo INT
Wait, what was I thinkin' about again?
SIGN 1 Hour Until Rin's Execution
[15:32] Mashiro
Here I go!
[15:34] Mashiro
Hit and...
[15:35] Shamaness
...cover!
[15:35] Mashiro/Shamaness
Rock, paper, scissors!
[15:37] Mashiro
Die!
[15:38] Shamaness
Yes!
[15:39] Mashiro
Hey! It ruins the game if you duck,
you stupid old hag!
[15:42] Shamaness
You're using a real sword, you brat!
[15:44] Yuji INT
I can't tell if'n they're buddies or enemies.
[15:48] Mashiro
Damn it. This old hag's really pissing me off.
[15:51] Mashiro
How could you beat up
a young, unmarried maiden?
[15:56] Shamaness
I'm having a great time, brat.
[15:58] Shamaness
My blood hasn't run this hot in a long time.
[16:01] Mashiro
You said that just
a few minutes ago. Keep it warm!
[16:05] Yuji
They're both darn near worn out.
I bet the next blow's gonna finish it.
[16:12] Shamaness
Watching you sure takes me back, though.
[16:15] Shamaness
You're the same as me when I was young.
[16:19] Mashiro
What do you mean?
[16:22] Shamaness
When I was about your age,
[16:24] Shamaness
I worked at a detective agency.
[16:28] Yuji
Wait, she's the one who asked.
[16:30] Yuji
And it was shapin' up to be
a pretty interestin' story!
[16:33] Yuji
Plus, ya can't just knock someone out
like it's a free-to-play game!
[16:37] Mashiro
Yeah, but she just wouldn't shut up.
[16:39] Mashiro
I don't care about her demented rantings.
[16:42] Mashiro
Wait, forget the old hag.
I gotta save Rin-san.
[16:45] Mashiro
Rin-san!
[16:47] Mashiro
She's gone! She got taken away
while I was playing with the old hag!
[16:51] Yuji
They done took her to
the square to be executed!
[16:54] Mashiro
What? It's that time already?
[16:56] Yuji
We gotta hurry!
[16:59] Mashiro
Okay, get on.
[17:00] Yuji
Huh?
[17:01] Mashiro
We'll get there faster if I carry you.
[17:04] Yuji
Well, then...
[17:05] Yuji
I'll take ya up on that.
[17:07] Mashiro
Who gave you permission
to sit in the arena seat?!
[17:11] Yuji
I never knew folks had
good an' bad seats on 'em!
[17:17] Yuji
Over there.
[17:18] Mashiro
Rin-san?
[17:26] Yuji
Man, her boobs are so big!
[17:28] Mashiro
No one in the world has
more right to say that than me!
[17:31] Yuji
Golly, I'm sorry. It's just been
so doggone long since I saw 'em.
[17:38] Mashiro
This is no time for playing around.
[17:41] Mashiro
What's the old dude doing, darn it?
[17:45] Mashiro
Old dude! Why are you just
standing here? We have to save her!
[17:50] Nagumo
It's fine.
[17:52] Nagumo
Just keep quiet and watch.
Don't do anything.
[17:55] Mashiro
Wh-Wh-Wh-Wha...
SIGN Thrust
[17:59] Mashiro
Open your eyes, old dude!
[18:01] Mashiro
Hang on. I'll free you
from their brainwashing now.
[18:03] Nagumo
I haven't been brainwashed.
[18:06] Nagumo
Listen to me, Mashiro.
Airan-sama is the real deal.
[18:10] Mashiro
What? Old dude, are you being serious?
[18:14] Nagumo
We must not go against his guidance.
[18:20] Nagumo
Stop, Mashiro.
[18:53] Nagumo
Mashiro, we need to talk.
[18:56] Mashiro
What is it?
[18:58] Nagumo
Come with me. You, too, Yuji-san.
[19:04] Nagumo
Here we are.
There's someone I want you to meet.
[19:06] Mashiro
Meet? Who?
[19:11] Mashiro
You! How dare you do that to Rin-san?!
[19:13] Nagumo
No, idiot! Look closer!
[19:17] Yuji
Rin!
[19:17] Mashiro
Rin-san!
[19:18] Yuji
Oh, thank goodness.
I thought you were done for.
[19:21] Yuji
I was so worried,
you would've been totally freaked out.
[19:23] Mashiro
I knew it seemed weird. That wacky
accent was just for show all along.
[19:27] Mashiro
What's going on here, old dude?
[19:29] Nagumo
Airan isn't a psychic. He's a doctor.
[19:33] Mashiro
A doctor?
[19:34] Airan
When Rin-san left town
on her one monthly outing,
[19:37] Airan
I could tell with one look
that she had a serious illness.
[19:42] Airan
So I snuck into the village and realized
the "evil spirit possession" taking over
[19:46] Airan
was a communicable disease.
[19:50] Rin
My symptoms were particularly bad.
[19:52] Rin
I needed treatment in a proper facility.
[19:55] Rin
But I would've been punished
if I'd left the village.
[19:59] Airan
So I played God, using the power of medicine
to save them, and taking control of this village.
[20:05] Mashiro
So Rin-san's execution...
[20:07] Airan
I swapped her out with a doll.
It was all for show.
[20:11] Airan
I'd planned to take her
out of town for treatment,
[20:14] Airan
then have her lie to the village
that she'd been brought back to life.
[20:18] Nagumo
He could tell what parts
of my body were bad, too.
[20:21] Nagumo
He figured it out from my posture
and breathing, apparently.
[20:24] Airan
You should really get to
a hospital yourself, you know.
[20:27] Mashiro
B-But why would you do all that for
someone you just happened to see once?
[20:32] Nagumo
Because...
[20:34] Nagumo
of this.
[20:35] Mashiro
What is it?
[20:36] Nagumo
Just open it.
SIGN Massive Boob Explosion!
G-Cups That
Hit Hard
[20:43] Airan
I love boobs more than I love
three square meals a day.
[20:48] Mashiro INT
Ugh, men! I swear!
[20:50] Mashiro INT
I swear! I swear!
[20:52] Nagumo
Well, at any rate, that's case closed.
[20:56] Shamaness
Wait!
[20:58] Shamaness
I heard everything.
SIGN Shamaness
[21:00] Shamaness
How dare you deceive us!
[21:02] Yuji
J-Just calm down, you guys.
He did it for Rin—
[21:05] Shamaness
Silence!
[21:06] Shamaness
Any who break the rules must
be executed! No exceptions!
[21:10] Mashiro
Wh-What do we do, old dude?
[21:12] Mashiro
I don't have any strength left
to hit her again!
[21:14] Nagumo
Don't worry, Mashiro.
[21:16] Nagumo
I called the police.
[21:18] Mashiro
Huh?
[21:19] PoliceA
Nobody move!
[21:21] PoliceB
You're suspected of holding
someone against their will!
[21:24] PoliceA
"The rules of the village," my ass! Morons!
[21:26] PoliceB
How about you follow
the rules of Japan first?!
[21:30] Mashiro INT
They're not usually that useful in fiction...
[21:33] Nagumo INT
...but damn, the police really are strong.
SIGN Torna a Surriento
SIGN Nationwide Average
Score: 80.2 Points
SIGN Results
SIGN Points
SIGN Points
SIGN Points
SIGN Points
SIGN Points
SIGN Notice
SIGN If you fail
to pay your
rent of 2,500,000 yen by tomorrow,
SIGN you will be
evicted.
SIGN Landlord
[23:11] Mashiro
Why didn't you pay it?
[23:13] Nagumo
I just, uh, forgot all about it.
[23:15] Mashiro
How are we gonna get this much money?
[23:18] Nagumo
Don't worry. I have
the five million from Yuji-san.
[23:22] Nagumo/Mashiro
Huh?
[23:23] Nagumo
"I-Ide"? What? It's fake?
[23:28] Mashiro
Apparently, it's the currency
they use in Ideoto.
[23:31] Mashiro
In Japanese yen, five million ide is...
SIGN 24 Hours Left Until the Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN 24 Hours Left Until the Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Shuts Down
SIGN Shuts Down
[23:35] Mashiro
50,000 yen.
12 - Nagumo Dons the Haori / Producing Nagumo Detective Agency / Nagumo Detective Agency Shuts Down
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Mashiro
Hey, old dude!
[00:03] Mashiro
Seems our agency's going bye-bye!
[00:06] Nagumo
Oh, really? It'll be gone soon, huh?
SIGN 24 Hours Until Nagumo Detective Agency Shuts Down
[00:14] Mashiro
Okay, no more being flippant about this.
What are we gonna do?
[00:18] Nagumo
I mean, it's not like I have anyone
to borrow the money from.
[00:22] Mashiro
Well, if it's come to this...
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
SIGN Detectives
These Days
Are Crazy!
SIGN Nagumo Dons the Haori
SIGN Nagumo Dons the Haori
[02:01] Commentator
Ninjas of the modern age
face a looming beast of steel
[02:05] Commentator
in a challenge we call Sarutobi*!
[02:07] Commentator**
Total Victory earns them three million yen!
[02:11] Nezu
An obstacle course like that
will be a cinch for you, Big Sis.
[02:15] Mashiro
Forget the prize money.
I'm going for a new record.
[02:18] AD
Entry #1: Nagumo Keiichiro-san.
[02:21] Nezu
What? You're entering, too?
[02:23] Nagumo
Oh, hell no. Not me.
[02:26] Mashiro
I messed up!
[02:29] Mashiro
I registered in his name out of habit
'cause that's how I sign our business receipts!
[02:34] Mashiro
What are we gonna do?
Is it too late to correct it?!
[02:38] Nezu
Yeah, it's way too late for that.
[02:39] Mashiro
If the old dude enters, he'll only break
the record for fastest disqualification.
[02:44] Nagumo
Aw, c'mon. I can at least
get past the first area.
[02:47] Azuha
This sounds like a job for...
SIGN Humanity
B-Gone
[02:48] Azuha
This! We'll power him up
with my Humanity B-Gone.
SIGN Humanity
B-Gone
[02:52] Mashiro
Nice one, Azuha-san.
[02:54] Nagumo
I want to stay human, though.
[02:55] Nezu
What should we do, Big Sis?
[02:58] Mashiro
Since it's come to this...
[03:00] Commentator
The first stage entails clearing
seven areas in 100 seconds.
[03:04] Commentator
Get the slightest droplet of water
on you, and you're out!
[03:08] Commentator
Up first is self-proclaimed detective,
Nagumo Keiichiro!
SIGN Illustration
[03:15] Azuha/Nezu INT
This just took a super weird turn.
[03:18] Commentator
It seems like more of an indoors-y sort of
occupation, but just look at those shoulders.
[03:23] Commentator
Nagumo, how are you feeling
about this challenge?
[03:26] Nagumo
Huh? How am I feeling?
[03:28] Mashiro
I'm! A! Detective!
[03:30] Commentator
His nostalgic gag has the venue roaring!
[03:32] Commentator
This man is ready and raring to go!
[03:35] Nezu
Surely even Big Sis ain't gonna
be able to do much in that state?
[03:39] Azuha
Wonder what she'll do.
[03:41] Commentator
First, the stepping stones.
[03:43] Commentator
Self-proclaimed detective,
Nagumo, approaches with care.
[03:47] Commentator
Wow! He does a handstand spring!
[03:50] Commentator
It's as if he's imposed a restriction
on himself as a handicap.
[03:53] Commentator
Is this man a baboon or an orangutan?
[03:57] Commentator
Oh, my! His face is awfully red.
SIGN Illustration
[03:59] Commentator
Is that a sign of rising voltage?!
[04:03] Commentator
Next up is the revolving pillar area.
[04:06] Commentator
If he hits any of the pillars,
he's sure to take the plunge.
[04:10] Commentator
And there he goes!
[04:13] Commentator
Oh, no! Self-proclaimed detective,
Nagumo, is out.
[04:17] Nezu
No, not yet.
[04:20] Commentator
Wait, no! He didn't fall!
[04:22] Commentator
Can you believe that muscle strength?
[04:24] Commentator
Is he Cup Sumiko-san doing
a steroid-induced armor evolution?
[04:30] Commentator
But is Nagumo all right?
SIGN A Stone
[04:33] Commentator
That's not a death rattle I hear, is it?
[04:35] Nezu
I'm starting to think they can pull this off.
[04:38] Azuha
I'm not sure Mr. Nagumo's still alive, though.
[04:41] Commentator
Nagumo Keiichiro is running away
with this contest.
[04:44] Commentator
He's blasting through the obstacles.
[04:46] Commentator
Is there no one who can stop this man?
[04:49] Nezu
They're totally gonna pull it off!
[04:51] Azuha
No, they're in trouble.
[04:53] Nezu
Huh?
[04:54] Azuha
They've only done areas you can
get through with your hands so far,
[04:57] Azuha
but next, it's...
[04:59] Commentator
Last up is the trampoline area,
[05:02] Commentator
a tough challenge requiring challengers
to jump across to the net on the other side.
[05:06] Commentator
Ten seconds remain.
[05:08] Nagumo
Uh, Mashiro.
[05:10] Mashiro
Run, old dude.
[05:11] Nagumo
But...
[05:12] Mashiro
Just do it! Go!
[05:13] Nagumo
Okay, then.
[05:20] Nezu
Not even close!
[05:22] Azuha
Do you know if Mr. Nagumo can swim?
[05:25] Mashiro
Don't underestimate Mashiro-chan.
[05:27] Mashiro
Hi-yah!
[05:31] Commentator
H-He made it!
[05:33] Commentator
Not sure what's going on with
his arms, though. Is he okay?
[05:39] Mashiro
I can't, old dude. I'm gonna drop you.
[05:46] Mashiro
That was awesome, old dude!
[05:54] AD
Would you join me in the back
for a moment, please?
[06:00] Nagumo
Ah.
SIGN 0 Hours Until Nagumo Detective Agency Shuts Down
[06:01] Nagumo
Landlord, please! Anything but that!
SIGN 12 Hours Until Nagumo Detective Agency Shuts Down
SIGN 12 Hours Until Nagumo Detective Agency Shuts Down
SIGN Producing Nagumo Detective Agency
[06:18] Nagumo
What the hell?
Was this always here?
[06:22] Mashiro
Oh, that? Asunaro left it behind
the last time he was here.
[06:25] Mashiro
Said he started making his own merchandise.
[06:28] Mashiro
He was babbling about how they sell
so well and plug his business.
[06:32] Nagumo
Takes some nerve to make
your own merchandise.
[06:36] Mashiro
For real. I guess when
narcissism becomes toxic,
[06:39] Mashiro
it manifests in disgusting ways like this.
[06:42] Nagumo
Hey, watch it. You'll crush its head holding it
like you're about to pitch a super-fast sinker.
[06:47] Mashiro
Still, that's an idea!
[06:49] Mashiro
We can make our own merch and
use the profits to pay your overdue rent.
[06:54] Nagumo
Don't be dumb. Making merchandise
also takes time and money.
[06:58] Nagumo
We need a more reliable method.
[07:00] Nezu
Hold it right there!
[07:02] Nezu
You can leave all the business stuff to me!
[07:05] Nezu
I've got all kinds of connections.
[07:07] Nagumo
Connections, huh?
[07:09] Mashiro
Are we talking actual business
or yakuza "business"?
[07:13] Nezu
Look, I'm good at producing stuff like this.
[07:16] Nezu
Let's make some merch.
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency Production Plan
SIGN Boobie mousepad of Big Sis Mashiro
SIGN Make Cerberus
our poster cat
SIGN An original theme song
[07:19] Nezu
My plan involves these three ideas:
[07:22] Nezu
a boobie mousepad of Big Sis Mashiro,
[07:25] Nezu
making Cerberus our poster cat,
[07:27] Nezu
and our own theme song.
[07:29] Mashiro
What? M-Me on a mousepad?
[07:32] Nezu
They'll fly off the shelves.
[07:34] Nagumo
What's a boobie mousepad?
[07:36] Mashiro
Putting the mousepad aside for a moment...
[07:39] Mashiro
What do you mean by "poster cat"?
Like what some cafés and stations have?
[07:42] Nezu
People can't resist cats, y'know.
[07:45] Nagumo
What's a boobie mousepad?
[07:48] Mashiro
What good would making a theme song do?
[07:49] Nagumo
What's a boobie mousepad?
[07:51] Nezu
Things you hear stick with you
longer than things you see.
[07:54] Nezu
And no better time to make one
than the present.
[07:54] Nagumo
I wonder what a boobie mousepad is.
[07:56] Mashiro
There's not? Really?
SIGN Google it,
dude
SIGN Making the Boobie Mousepad
[08:01] Mashiro
Wait, this is way too embarrassing.
[08:03] Nezu
Your confidence is that low?
[08:06] Mashiro
Well, no. It's not as if I lack confidence.
[08:10] Mashiro
I mean, I don't think my figure's that bad,
[08:12] Mashiro
and I work out, so I can
confidently say I'm fairly fit, but...
[08:17] Mashiro
Gosh, if you're gonna plead like that,
I guess I'm not totally against it.
[08:27] Mashiro
Don't look like you're itching to say stuff,
but you don't wanna get throttled,
[08:31] Mashiro
so you'll just say whatever to flatter me!
[08:34] Mashiro
Also, aren't mousepads pretty
expensive to make, anyway?
[08:38] Nezu
Don't worry about it.
[08:40] Nezu
I still have some from when my group
made 'em before, so I can get 'em cheap.
[08:45] Mashiro
Well, that's good to know.
[08:47] Nezu
So you just need to go get your picture
taken at one of those ID photo booths.
[08:51] Mashiro
Got it.
[08:53] Nezu
I'll put in an order with
the supplier to print them.
[08:56] Nagumo INT
He only suggested it so he could sell off
the leftovers his group dumped on him.
[09:02] Nezu
The mousepads are ready!
[09:04] Mashiro
Oh, wow. I'm still a little embarrassed.
[09:08] Nezu
I'm gonna open it.
[09:09] Nezu
Three, two, one.
[09:11] Nezu
There!
SIGN The End
[09:14] Nagumo
What is this? A face-shaped tumor?
[09:16] Nezu
Where'd you get this photo taken, Big Sis?!
[09:20] Mashiro
I'm broke, so I used the copier
at the convenience store.
[09:23] Nezu
For your face?! Did you put any
stat points into intelligence or shame?
[09:27] Nagumo
Not only that, but the design's upside-down.
The boobs are on your head.
[09:31] Nagumo
What are these, malignant tumors?
[09:33] Mashiro
Well, what's done is done, right?
[09:36] Nezu
You sound like a delinquent
about to have a shotgun wedding.
SIGN Making Cerberus
a Poster Cat
SIGN Safety
SIGN My Town's Poster Cat
(Kanto/Tohoku)
Neighborhood Cat
The poster cat of
a store in my town
SIGN My Town's Poster Cat
(Kanto/Tohoku)
Neighborhood Cat
SIGN If you're lucky, you
might get to meet
our poster cat
[09:42] Nagumo
Oh, so these are poster cats, huh?
[09:44] Mashiro
They're so cute!
[09:46] Nezu
Get him to do some tricks or something,
and all eyes will be on him.
[09:50] Nagumo
Are there any tricks Cerberus can do?
[09:52] Mashiro
He occasionally coughs up hairballs
that look like tumbleweeds.
[09:56] Nagumo
No one's gonna be into that.
[09:59] Mashiro
There's nothing special
about this moggy at all.
[10:02] Nagumo
So should we make him stand
by the front door or what?
[10:05] Nezu
Well, he's not in a very
photogenic state right now.
[10:07] Nezu
That's why we're gonna
give him a little makeover.
[10:11] Nezu
We'll tidy up that shaggy hair,
[10:13] Nezu
hide those narrow eyes behind sunglasses,
[10:16] Nezu
and put an old detective coat
on him to create the mood.
[10:19] Nezu
I'd like to put him in a basket,
but we don't have one, so we'll use a box.
[10:22] Nezu
Done! I call this "Meowlock Holmes"!
[10:26] Nezu
Uh...
[10:29] Nagumo
Pretty shameless for
such a shabby-looking thing.
SIGN This ain't
the circus,
dumbasses!
SIGN What?
[10:32] Mashiro
Is he a stray from
some oil-producing country?
[10:34] Nezu
W-Well, I guess we'll go with this for now.
SIGN Making an Original Theme Song
[10:40] Nezu
I'm actually a musician, so I can write a song.
[10:43] Mashiro
I bet you got into music
for the most frivolous damn reason.
[10:46] Nezu
My vocabulary sucks, though,
so I can't write lyrics.
[10:50] Mashiro
Your third-grade teacher didn't pick
you to be on the team, right?
[10:54] Nezu
So I'll write a song that'll
bring attention to the agency,
[10:57] Nezu
and you can write the lyrics for it.
[11:00] Mashiro
Wait, wait, wait. I can't write lyrics.
[11:03] Mashiro
I don't have the sense for it.
[11:06] Nezu
But a writer I know said they saw nothing
but intelligence in your face.
SIGN Liar
[11:13] Mashiro
"A poem is words
that weren't turned into a song,
[11:16] Mashiro
and a song is words that weren't turned
into a poem."—Hermann Hesse.
[11:21] Nagumo INT
She'd definitely get stopped at immigration.
[11:24] Nezu
I'll get it added to karaoke right away!
[11:27] Mashiro
We're gonna sell out
a two-day Budokan appearance!
[11:30] Nagumo
Buy rice and garbage bags
on your way home, would you?
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
SIGN Boss! It's done!
[11:36] Mashiro
I'm gonna get everyone hyped
for our agency with my singing.
[11:41] Nagumo
Your quality's just about
the same as a local idol's.
[11:44] Mashiro
Now, please enjoy: "Ba-dump!
Nagumo Detective Agency"!
[11:49] Mashiro
♫ The one-eyed frog I picked up
on the Togetsu Bridge ♫
[11:54] Mashiro
♫ Coughed up blood on
a stormy night and died ♫
[11:55] Nezu
Do you think it's a little gloomy?
[11:58] Mashiro
♫ Oh, Nagumo Detective Agency ♫
[11:59] Nagumo
Uh, more than just a little.
[12:02] Nezu
Anyway, we've got everything now.
[12:05] Nezu
Merch!
[12:06] Nezu
A poster cat!
[12:07] Nezu
A song!
[12:08] Mashiro
Our agency will be the talk of the town and
we'll be swamped with jobs. Right, old dude?
[12:13] Nagumo
Oh, uh, yeah.
[12:14] Nezu
Let's go announce this stuff now!
[12:16] Mashiro
Roger!
[12:19] Nagumo
Maybe I should apologize
to Mimasaka in advance.
[12:22] College GirlA
Crap, I'm not done with the assignment yet.
[12:25] College GirlB
Uh, isn't that kinda bad?
[12:27] College GirlA
Wait, do you hear music?
[12:28] Mashiro
♫ The one who sold it to the cash
voucher shop was my nephew ♫
[12:31] College GirlB
Oh, yeah. Where's it coming from?
[12:34] Mashiro
♫ Oh, Nagumo Detective Agency ♫
[12:38] Mashiro
♫ That thing by your pillow isn't
an acerola, it's an anorexic tomato ♫
SIGN 0 Hours Until Nagumo Detective Agency Shuts Down
SIGN 6 Hours Until Nagumo Detective Agency Shuts Down
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency Shuts Down
[13:01] Mashiro
We can't afford to waste
a single second, old dude.
[13:10] Nagumo
Hang on. My jaw's out of alignment.
[13:13] Mashiro
You just wasted five seconds already!
[13:16] Nezu
I've brought a client!
[13:18] Mashiro
Maki-chan! And background dude.
[13:21] Maki
We heard a rumor on the breeze
that you were out of money.
[13:24] Nagumo
Does this town have breezes like that?
[13:26] Asunaro
I heard you've been collecting
the shed tails of lizards to eat.
[13:30] Mashiro
Like hell we are!
[13:32] Asunaro
Now, now. Don't get angry over such
trifling matters. We're here to talk business.
[13:37] Mashiro
What? Really?
[13:38] Maki
Why are your eyes euro signs?
[13:41] Asunaro
Take a look at this.
[13:43] Mashiro
Who's this guy?
[13:45] Maki
The boss of Asia's biggest theft ring.
[13:48] Maki
Apparently, he's in Japan right now.
[13:50] Mashiro
Oh, yeah. That Biccuri Camera
just opened in Chiba.
[13:53] Nagumo
You know that's not what he's here for.
[13:55] Nezu
Also, that was a while ago now.
[13:58] Asunaro
This man is going to make
an exchange with a certain VIP today.
[14:02] Nagumo
And they want us to catch them in the act?
[14:04] Asunaro
Yes.
[14:06] Nagumo
Who's the client?
[14:08] Asunaro
The MPD.
SIGN MPD Deputy Superintendent General Kumanomido Takayoshi
[14:11] Nezu
The deal is being made with the Deputy
Superintendent General, Kumanomido Takayoshi.
[14:16] Mashiro
Way too many strokes in those kanji.
[14:18] Nezu
It'd take two fortune tellers
to give him a name-based fortune.
[14:21] Nagumo
So there's a whistleblower?
[14:22] Asunaro
Yes. It's a top-secret mission
to expose the dark side of the police.
[14:27] Asunaro
The reward is six million yen.
[14:29] Mashiro
Six million?! So if we divvy that up,
our side gets five million?
SIGN 6 mill
SIGN 6 mill
[14:33] Nagumo
How is that divvying it up?
[14:35] Asunaro
The two of us alone
aren't enough to handle it,
[14:37] Asunaro
so we'd really appreciate your help, Sensei.
[14:41] Nagumo
A job exposing the darkness
in the police force, huh?
[14:45] Mashiro
We'd hardly be detectives
if we refused this job now, old dude.
[14:48] Mashiro
Our ancestors are crying over
at Tateyama Seien.
[14:51] Nezu
Your ancestors are still
at the crematorium?
[14:54] Asunaro
I'd say they're long dead.
[14:56] Nagumo
Asunaro-kun, where's the target right now?
[14:59] Asunaro
Sensei, does that mean...
[15:01] Nagumo
Yeah.
SIGN Wee-Woo
[15:03] Nagumo
My blood hasn't boiled like this in years.
SIGN Wee-Woo
SIGN Wee-Woo
[15:05] Maki
Of all the times for an ambulance to go by.
[15:05] Nagumo
I'll be accepting this mission.
SIGN Wee-Woo
SIGN Wee-Woo
[15:08] Mashiro
Say that again, old dude!
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[15:11] Mashiro
So what are these guys exchanging?
[15:14] Asunaro
Kumanomido is giving the boss a list he has.
[15:17] Mashiro
A list?
[15:19] Maki
It may be a list of police who are
working with criminal organizations.
[15:23] Nezu
That's a pretty high-calorie article.
[15:25] Mashiro
So anyway...
[15:27] Mashiro
Why are we running like this?
[15:30] Maki
I'm sorry. The boss suddenly
showed up in town.
[15:33] Mashiro
Old dude, are you keeping up?
[15:36] Mashiro
Uh-oh! He's disappearing out of frame!
[15:39] Asunaro
There he is.
[15:40] Asunaro
That's our man.
[15:43] Mashiro
That little old dude in the pajamas
is the boss of Asia's biggest theft ring?
[15:49] Nezu
He went into a maid café.
[15:51] Mashiro
He's enjoying Japan to the fullest.
[15:53] Maki
Shall we lie in wait for him here?
[15:55] Asunaro
No, he might complete the hand-off inside.
[15:58] Maki
But if we all go in, we'll arouse suspicion.
[16:01] Mashiro
In that case, leave this to me.
[16:04] Mashiro
I used to work at this café,
so I'm tight with the owner.
[16:08] Mashiro
I can dress as a maid and keep
an eye on him. Piece of cake.
[16:12] Mashiro/Maki
Welcome home, master.
[16:16] Maki
A-A-A-A-Am I really needed for this?
[16:19] Mashiro
Well, if I go in alone,
I might lose track of the guy.
[16:22] Okazaki Taiiku
Wow, a new maid! You're adorbs!
[16:26] Maki
N-No, I'm not...
[16:28] Mashiro
Maki-chan, look. The boss
is doing something shady.
[16:32] Okazaki Taiiku
Miss maid, put a spell
on my omelet rice, please.
[16:35] Maki
I can't right now.
[16:37] Okazaki Taiiku
C'mon, hurry up. Fire your beam.
[16:40] Mashiro
Oh, all right, fine.
[16:42] Mashiro
Here! Get all tasty now!
[16:45] Mashiro
Moe, moe...
[16:46] Mashiro
boom!
[16:46] Okazaki Taiiku
Thank you, ma'am!
[16:49] Maids
Come back soon, masters.
[16:53] Mashiro
He just left?
[16:55] Maki
He sure had a lot of points stocked up here.
SIGN No. 5 in Japan
SIGN No. 5 in Japan
SIGN Maid Café
SIGN Maid Café
[16:58] Maki
Anyway, let's follow him.
[17:00] Mashiro
Oh, old dude.
[17:02] Mashiro
You finally caught up, huh?
[17:04] Maki
He looks like he just ran
the fifth leg of the Hakone Ekiden.
[17:10] Maki
An aquarium?
[17:11] Maki
They're making the exchange here?
[17:13] Asunaro
It's dark and crowded.
[17:15] Asunaro
Perfect for doing shady deals.
[17:19] Nagumo
Three of the poor people's tickets, please.
[17:22] Mashiro
Student discount!
[17:23] Nezu
Yakuza discount!
[17:24] Asunaro
Sensei, I'll cover you, okay?
[17:29] Mashiro
Look! Look!
[17:30] Mashiro
That sea otter is eating a scallop.
[17:33] Nezu
That little guy's eating better than me.
[17:35] Nagumo
Stop watching the otters and find the boss.
[17:38] Maki
Look over there. In the orca show seating.
[17:47] Mashiro
Whoa, why are all the
minor characters the guests?
[17:50] Nezu
Feels like a final episode, doesn't it?
SIGN This Is
SIGN The Last Episode
[17:53] Nagumo
Who's the guy who looks like
he could make people taste his nipples?
[17:56] Asunaro
How do you forget him?!
[17:58] Maki
Everyone, not those seats.
[18:00] Maki
Those over there.
[18:02] Asunaro
That's Kumanomido.
[18:04] Maki
He's handing him something.
[18:06] Nagumo
Okay, let's go nab 'em.
[18:08] Mashiro
Got it.
[18:13] Mashiro
Gimme that skin on your face!
[18:16] Boss
Wh-Who is that?
[18:18] Kumanomido
She's coming this way.
[18:20] Voice
Please watch for splashing water
during the show.
[18:23] Nagumo
Forget splashing.
That's an entire hydro beam.
[18:26] Asunaro
They got caught in it, too.
[18:28] Maki
Now's our chance.
[18:30] Mashiro
Gotcha.
[18:32] Nagumo
Block his respiratory tract.
[18:35] Nezu
They don't have anything on 'em.
[18:38] Nagumo
No way.
[18:41] Maki
The orca has Kumanomido's bag?
[18:44] Nagumo
And it clearly thinks it's a toy.
[18:46] Mashiro
Like a fidget spinner. What a throwback.
[18:48] Asunaro
The list is in that bag.
[18:51] Nezu
But what are we supposed to do
against the strongest of marine creatures?
[18:58] Nagumo
Mashiro?
[19:01] Mashiro
I was hoping for a chance
to go one-on-one with you.
[19:05] Mashiro
Bring it, whale killer.
I'm stronger than a whale.
[19:15] Maki
Oh, it was in his breast pocket all along.
[19:19] Voice
Please watch for splashing water
during the show.
[19:22] Mashiro
Whew. I thought I was a goner.
[19:25] Nagumo
I actually want to know how you're not.
[19:29] Maki
But we did get the list.
[19:34] Nagumo
This is what'll expose
the darkness in the police force?
[19:38] Nagumo
The hell is this?
[19:39] Maki
Isn't that one of the maids
from that maid café?
[19:44] Kumanomido
Just who are you people?
[19:46] Nagumo
Huh? Uh, well, we heard
about the list hand-off...
[19:49] Kumanomido
List? Hand-off?
[19:52] Boss
I just went and bought some merch
for Kumanocchi, that's all.
[19:56] Boss
He was too embarrassed to go
into the maid café himself.
[19:59] Asunaro
So wait, you're not the boss of a theft ring?
[20:03] Boss
No, I am, but today,
I'm genuinely just a tourist.
[20:12] Nagumo
Oh, I get it.
[20:13] Mashiro
Don't spook us like that.
[20:15] Maki
We thought you were a criminal.
[20:17] Mashiro
Moe, moe...
[20:19] Mashiro
boom!
[20:21] Asunaro
We went to all that effort for nothing.
[20:24] Nezu
So there's no reward money?
[20:26] Maki
I suppose not.
[20:29] Nezu
Big Sis Mashiro's clear out of gas.
[20:32] Maki
She's making the sound my fridge makes
when I leave it open.
[20:37] Nagumo
Seems I have no choice.
[20:43] Mashiro
Uh, old dude?
[20:44] Nagumo
You did good. We're heading back.
[20:47] Mashiro
Really? But without 2.5 million yen, we're...
[20:50] Nagumo
It's always worked out somehow.
It will this time, too.
[20:56] Mashiro
You're right.
[20:59] Mashiro
I'm sure you'll take care
of everything again.
[21:05] Mashiro
Uh, old dude?
[21:06] Nagumo
Sorry. My lower back just can't take it.
SIGN Nagumo Detective Agency
[21:13] Mashiro
Hey, wake up!
[21:15] Nezu
You won't believe what happened!
[21:18] Mashiro
That boobie mousepad and
our poster cat went super viral online.
[21:24] Mashiro
They're actually promoting our agency.
[21:27] Nezu
We're swamped with job requests.
[21:30] Nagumo
What?
[21:32] Yuno
I'm looking for someone.
[21:35] Yuno
I want to meet this person I saw in town.
[21:38] Yuno
I fell for him at first sight!
[21:40] Nagumo/Mashiro
Him?
[21:41] Nagumo
Wait, what's that on Tasting-san's back?
[21:44] Mashiro
He'll suffocate if he can't breathe
through his skin at all times.
[21:47] Nagumo
It's all over if he spots us.
SIGN Balance:
Reward Money +￥100,000
[21:51] Mashiro
I never dreamed an actual idol
would come to our agency.
[21:54] Nezu
Nanali's so cute in the flesh.
[21:57] Nanali
Please, Mr. Detective.
[21:59] Nanali
You have to catch the bad guy
at my handshake event.
[22:01] Hater
Nanali!
SIGN Balance: ￥100,000
Reward Money +￥500,000
Total: ￥600,000
[22:06] Bunny Ears
This is a super-high-frequency sound
only young people can hear.
[22:09] Maki
Stop!
[22:11] Bunny Ears
Who's there?
[22:12] Maki
"Who's there?" Can't you tell?
SIGN Balance: ￥600,000
Reward Money +￥500,000, School Uniform -￥30,000
Total: ￥1,070,000
[22:14] Maki
No matter how you look at me,
I'm a fresh, young high school girl!
[22:18] Mashiro
There! The flying reaper!
SIGN Balance: ￥1,070,000
Reward Money +￥200,000, Property Damage -￥1,000,000
SIGN Total: ￥270,000
[22:20] Azuha
Okay. I'll shoot 'em down.
[22:23] Negapanda
Hello. I'm Negapanda.
[22:26] Negapanda
You are all going to fight
to the death for me.
[22:28] Adachi
To the death?
[22:30] Adachi
Quit it with that creepy anime stuff.
[22:33] Mashiro
I can't hear his explanation, you stupid goby!
SIGN Balance: None
[22:37] Aruse
We, the Aruse Phantom Thieves,
will be taking the Archimedes Codex.
[22:41] Sui
Hey! That belongs to us, Œil de Chat!
[22:45] Mashiro
That's as far as you petty thieves go.
[22:47] Aruse/Sui
Who's there?
[22:48] Mashiro
I am Mashiro, Nagumo Detective
Agency's first attacker.
[22:51] Mashiro
I'd advise against resisting.
Bow down at once.
[22:54] Mashiro
And kiss my feet—
SIGN Balance: None
[22:57] Risa
Sorry for the wait!
[22:59] Sui
Nice, Risa!
[23:01] Mashiro
It's the red one.
[23:02] Nagumo
No, the blue one.
[23:03] Mimasaka
It's gonna blow! Get out of there, Keiichiro!
[23:06] Nagumo
Get out? But...
[23:08] Mashiro
Time to fly, old dude.
[23:10] Nagumo
Fly?
[23:11] Mashiro
Don't worry. I've got my grappling
hook ready. A parachute, too.
[23:15] Mashiro
And if it gets really bad,
an inflatable rescue mat.
[23:18] Nagumo
O-Okay.
[23:23] Mashiro
Uh, my bad. I actually don't
have any of those things.
[23:26] Nagumo
Mashiro!
[23:32] Fuu
I swear...
SIGN Balance: ￥270,000
Reward Money: ￥0
Nagumo's Medical Expenses -￥1,500,000 (Mashiro's Medical Expenses: ￥0)
SIGN Total: -￥1,230,000
[23:33] Fuu
Detectives these days are crazy.