E1 - Issue 1: More than Shocking! Taro's Transformation!
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Narration
It's said that there are
mysterious powers in this world
[00:06] Narration
that modern science still cannot explain...
SIGN Delusional Monthly Magazine
SIGN Delusional Monthly Magazine
SIGN Issue 1
More than Shocking!
Taro's Transformation!
[02:01] Goro
Whoa!
[02:01] Owner
Hey! Cut that out! Come on, this way!
[02:03] Goro
Sorry about that.
SIGN Most City
1 Morinakaro
Moriderasagaru
Iwaro Building
2nd Floor
SIGN Central Ward Business Center
SIGN Moment Marriage
SIGN Moment Marriage
[02:18] Nancy
Hey, who's this?
[02:20] Taro
I mean, it's pretty obviously me?
[02:26] Nancy
Who are you trying to fool here?
[02:29] Taro
Whoa, come on!
[02:30] Taro
First of all, no one would go
for the dude in this picture!
SIGN Birthday
Height
Build
Occupation
Annual Income
Workplace
[02:33] Taro
It cuts my appeal in half.
[02:36] Taro
I'm paying you a lot here,
[02:38] Taro
so I expect you to use a cool picture
of me to find me a nice lady.
[02:43] Nancy
Taro J. Suzuki. 28 years old.
[02:45] Nancy
Occupation: part-time magazine editor.
[02:49] Nancy
His ideal match is someone with a job.
[02:52] Nancy
Wants to marry and start a family,
[02:54] Nancy
with an aim toward becoming
a dedicated househusband, "heart mark."
[02:57] Taro
Exactly!
[02:59] Taro
I can't wait to be a househusband!
[03:02] Taro
That's all I really want.
[03:04] Taro
I don't care about looks, age, or nationality.
[03:05] Taro
I just want a career girl I can
dedicate my body and soul to!
[03:08] Taro
Doesn't that make me sound awesome, Nancy?
[03:10] Nancy
Honestly... it makes you sound terrible.
[03:14] Nancy
If you want to get married, then first of all,
you need to get your own act together.
[03:17] Taro
But I don't want to work!
That's why I want to get married!
[03:22] Nancy
Look, if I were to introduce my clients
to some slacker, it'd be bad for business!
[03:26] Taro
Aw, come on!
[03:27] Nancy
Less whining and more working! Got it?!
[03:32] Taro
Man, why's everybody so dead set
on a guy who can earn?
[03:38] Taro
Was it a lie that women love a domestic man?
[03:41] Goro
Huh? I was just here...
[03:44] Taro
Man, I wanna be a househusband ASAP!
[03:45] Goro
That's odd. Which way should I be going?
[03:48] Taro
Yow!
[03:49] Taro
Ow, ow, ow...
[03:50] Goro
Pardon me! Are you all right?
[03:53] Goro
You're not hurt, are you?
[04:00] Goro
Oh, since we've run into each other,
I was wondering...
[04:04] Goro
I'm looking for this address.
[04:08] Taro
That way! Go that way!
[04:11] Goro
That way, then? I should've known!
[04:14] Goro
Thank you so...
[04:16] Goro
Huh?
[04:19] Taro
What was that guy's deal?!
That was freakin' terrifying!
[04:22] Taro
Ugh, I can't run anymore.
[04:24] Taro
This sucks.
[04:26] Taro
Huh? That address...
SIGN Iwaro Building
[04:32] Goro
This is it!
[04:34] Goro
Okay.
SIGN If you need to contact editorial,
SIGN go here
SIGN Cafe "Rock" on
the first floor
of the building,
table six
SIGN See matches
[04:38] Goro
"If you need to contact editorial, go here.
[04:41] Goro
Cafe Rock on the first floor
of the building, table six..."
[04:51] Goro
Pardon me!
[04:53] Goro
Hey...
[04:56] Goro
Is there really no one around?
[05:07] Jiro
Hey, did you hear something
coming from upstairs?
[05:10] Rock
Naw.
[05:11] Jiro
Maybe it's Taro? Probably not, though.
[05:15] Jiro
Ugh, I'm so bored! I wish
something fun would happen.
[05:28] Goro
Another dog?!
[05:30] Jiro
Quiet, Saburo!
[05:33] Jiro
You okay?
[05:35] Goro
Uh, yes. Just a bit surprised.
[05:40] Goro
I know! Tell me, son, are there
any adults I could talk to here?
[05:45] Jiro
Why?
[05:47] Goro
I've got business with Monthly Moso Science's
editorial department, on the second floor,
[05:51] Goro
but a sign said to go to
table six in this cafe...
[05:54] Jiro
Then let's hear it.
[05:56] Goro
Come on, son, I'm not sure
you'd understand what I mean.
[06:01] Goro
Actually, shouldn't you be in school?
What are you doing here?
[06:05] Goro
Where are your parents?
[06:08] Jiro
I don't think I wanna discuss anything
with a guy who has corns on his big toes.
[06:12] Goro
How'd you know about my corns?!
[06:17] Taro
Man, I'm exhausted.
[06:22] Goro
Oh, thank you for earlier.
[06:25] Taro
You really did come here!
[06:27] Jiro
What, do you know him?
[06:29] Taro
What do you want with our editorial staff?!
[06:31] Goro
Then you're actually...
SIGN The Man-Faced Fish, Discovered!
SIGN Infiltrating the Tsuchinoko's Palace!
[06:35] Goro
an editor for Monthly Moso Science?!
[06:38] Taro
A-A-And what if I am?!
[06:40] Goro
I'm terribly sorry. Let me give you my card.
[06:46] Goro
Huh? Where did he go?
[06:48] Jiro
To the bathroom?
[06:49] Goro
It must have been an emergency.
[06:51] Jiro
I don't think so.
Maybe I should check on him.
SIGN Bathroom
[06:56] Jiro
Hey, Taro, did you see
something scary with him?
[07:00] Taro
Scary doesn't begin to describe it!
[07:02] Taro
I bet he's got really nasty
karma from a past life,
[07:05] Taro
like from trying to annihilate
humanity, or something!
SIGN Science Laboratories
SIGN Researcher
SIGN Goro Sato
[07:14] Jiro
So you're a scientist
from Science Laboratories.
[07:17] Jiro
One of the elite.
[07:18] Goro
Now, son, about your friend...
[07:21] Jiro
How about you stop
that "son" stuff right now?
[07:23] Jiro
My name is Jiro.
[07:26] Jiro
And order something, because this is a cafe.
[07:29] Goro
O-Okay.
[07:33] Goro
Tell me, so—er, Jiro-kun,
does your family own this place?
[07:37] Goro
Are you helping out?
[07:39] Jiro
Stop treating me like a child.
[07:41] Goro
Sorry.
[07:42] Jiro
I help out here every now and then
because I owe the owner,
[07:47] Jiro
but I'm an assistant at Monthly Moso Science.
[07:51] Goro
You are?!
[07:51] Jiro
Are you ready to order?
[07:53] Goro
W-Well, I'll take a cream soda...
[07:58] Jiro
I'll hear you out,
but it'll have to wait a sec.
[08:01] Jiro
Master! One cream soda!
[08:05] Rock
You got it.
[08:06] Goro
Oh, there's someone else working here.
[08:09] Goro
What is this? A fortune-telling machine?
[08:11] Goro
I guess I can try it.
[08:17] Goro
Let's see.
SIGN Super Bad
SIGN Oh man,
you're in
big, big,
biiiiiiiiig
trouble!
[08:21] Goro
Huh?
[08:24] Jiro
Here you are.
[08:27] Jiro
So, what's this story you have for us?
[08:32] Goro
Well... Have you heard of the Mo Continent?
[08:36] Jiro
Nope. What is it?
[08:38] Goro
That makes sense. Considering your age...
[08:41] Goro
Er, I didn't mean it that way!
[08:44] Goro
It used to be a topic of
conversation a fair while back.
[08:48] Goro
My late great-grandmother used to
mention it from time to time.
[08:53] Jiro
And where exactly is this continent?
[08:55] Goro
It doesn't exist anymore.
[08:57] Goro
Well, to be honest, there are doubts
about whether it existed at all.
[09:02] Jiro
What do you mean?
[09:04] Goro
A lot of it has to do with
the mysteries surrounding it.
[09:08] Goro
The Mo Continent was said
to be home to the Motarians,
[09:12] Goro
who wielded power beyond human conception.
[09:14] Goro
They ruled over the world with
their highly advanced civilization,
[09:17] Goro
and in their glory,
guided humanity, or so it's said.
[09:22] Goro
But then, suddenly, the entire continent
sank into the sea overnight,
[09:26] Goro
and the advanced civilization
of the Motarians was no more.
[09:31] Jiro
Out of nowhere, just like that?
[09:33] Goro
Out of nowhere, just like that.
[09:34] Jiro
Sounds weird.
[09:37] Jiro
If these people were so advanced,
[09:39] Jiro
why couldn't they keep
their continent from sinking?
[09:42] Goro
That's the thing!
[09:44] Goro
And why would they all sink
along with the continent?
[09:47] Goro
That might be the biggest mystery.
[09:49] Goro
All of the literature I could find
regarding it here in Most City
[09:52] Goro
is missing pieces from over the ages
or has been overwritten.
[09:56] Goro
None of it can be considered trustworthy.
[10:01] Goro
It's as if someone doesn't
want the truth to be found.
[10:04] Goro
Even I used to think the Mo
Continent was a kind of fable.
[10:10] Goro
Until I found it.
[10:17] Goro
And what I found was...
[10:20] Goro
one of the MOParts!
[10:24] Jiro
Mo what now?
[10:26] Goro
MOParts!
[10:27] Goro
Mysterious artifacts believed
to come from the Mo Continent!
[10:29] Goro
Upon examination, they were clearly made
[10:31] Goro
from unknown elements with an
unidentified atomic structure,
[10:33] Goro
but the real shocker is that they
seemed to have been mentioned
[10:35] Goro
in some of the material that I had seen
that referenced the Mo Continent!
[10:37] Goro
I believe this discovery could turn science—
[10:40] Goro
no, global history itself on its head!
[10:42] Goro
And so I quickly put together this paper!
[10:46] Goro
And when I was getting ready
to present it academically...
[10:50] Goro
my laboratory's board of directors rejected it.
[10:54] Jiro
Maybe it was too much writing for them?
[10:56] Goro
I believe this is an appropriate
amount of material
[10:58] Goro
to cover artifacts from a continent like Mo
that previously only existed speculatively...
[11:02] Goro
Plus, the board seemed very interested
[11:05] Goro
when I originally announced
I had discovered a mystery material...
[11:09] Goro
right up until I proved the connection
to the Mo Continent.
[11:13] Goro
And when I asked why it had been rejected,
they wouldn't tell me anything.
[11:17] Goro
That was when I saw Monthly
Moso Science in a bookstore
[11:21] Goro
and thought you might be interested!
[11:23] Jiro
We're not exactly a rigorous scientific
journal. You sure about this?
[11:27] Goro
Oh, don't say that! I've read a number
of your back issues,
[11:30] Goro
and I believe a fair bit of your material
may be related to the Mo Continent.
[11:34] Goro
The man-faced fish from
this month's cover story
SIGN Finally Discovered!
The Man-Faced Fish!!!
[11:36] Goro
is referred to in the Mo Continent
documents I've seen!
[11:39] Jiro
I... see.
[11:41] Goro
If you agree to print my story,
I'm willing to show you the MOPart.
[11:44] Jiro
You have it with you?!
[11:46] Goro
You'll be a believer, too, after seeing this!
[11:53] Taro
Bwha—?!
[11:54] Goro
Just look at that shine!
[11:58] Taro
Dude, what did you bring in here?!
[12:00] Taro
That's gotta be dangerous!
[12:03] Goro
Do you understand how
amazing it is?! What a relief!
[12:07] Goro
It's so wonderful to meet
someone else who gets it!
[12:08] Taro
Stay back! I mean it!
[12:12] Taro
We are not running this story! Hell no!
[12:15] Goro
But—
[12:16] Taro
Goodbye!
[12:19] Taro
Man, that was a close one.
[12:21] Jiro
You sure about this, Taro?
[12:23] Taro
Yeah, I'm sure! You don't need
to worry about his story, Jiro.
[12:26] Jiro
He didn't pay for his cream soda yet.
[12:31] Taro
I'll pay, then!
[12:34] Taro
Aw, man, this is too much.
[12:38] Taro
I'm gonna need three days off.
[12:39] Jiro
What is it, Saburo?
You want me to heal Taro?
[12:42] Taro
How did I get wrapped up in such a mess?
[12:44] Jiro
No way.
[12:45] Taro
Maybe I'm getting too old for this.
SIGN The Relationship Between the New Element
SIGN and the Existence of the Mo Continent
SIGN Goro Sato
[12:47] Jiro
He forgot it...
[12:50] Goro
So much for that. I sure wish
I could find some way to publish it.
[12:57] Perch
You're sure that's him?
[12:59] Noin
Then let's get to work.
[13:07] Jiro
The Mo Continent and MOParts, huh...
[13:10] Taro
Are you still reading that sketchy crap?
[13:13] Jiro
He did a pretty good job putting it together.
And there's a ton of data.
[13:17] Taro
Doesn't matter. I am not getting involved.
[13:20] Jiro
But if you feel so strongly about it...
[13:23] Taro
That's exactly why.
[13:25] Taro
I just write whatever so that I can secure
a bare minimum of living expenses.
[13:31] Taro
I want to live life without
taking any unnecessary risks.
[13:34] Taro
Just like Old Man Rock, the cafe's owner.
[13:40] Taro
Besides, I'm only doing this job
until I get married, anyway.
[13:46] Jiro
What's wrong, Saburo?
What's the newspaper for?
SIGN Life Saved by Big Bag
SIGN Goro Sato
[13:50] Jiro
Isn't that...
[13:51] Taro
What is it?
[13:53] Jiro
That elite scientist who wrote
this paper was in the news.
[13:56] Taro
Did he do something?
[13:58] Jiro
It says he almost got hit by a car.
[14:01] Jiro
"The victim, Goro Sato (18),
was having trouble walking
[14:06] Jiro
due to having corns
on both of his big toes."
[14:09] Jiro
"Stricken with sudden stomach pains,
[14:11] Jiro
he was crossing the street
in search of a bathroom
[14:14] Jiro
when he was struck by a vehicle
that had run a red light,
[14:16] Jiro
but was miraculously unharmed due
to the large backpack he was wearing
[14:19] Jiro
acting as a cushion."
[14:22] Jiro
You think that might've been
because of the MOPart he has?
[14:26] Taro
Yeah. He's probably cursed.
[14:28] Jiro
Having corns on both feet...
that does seem really bad.
[14:31] Taro
That's what caught your attention?
[14:33] Rock
Those things really hurt, let me tell you.
[14:39] Rock
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
[14:42] Rock
Yeah? This is Cafe Rock.
[14:44] Rock
One moment, please.
[14:46] Rock
Taro, it's your editor-in-chief.
[14:49] Taro
Ugh, Catherine?
[14:53] Taro
Hello?
[14:55] Catherine
You boys have quite the story
on your hands, don't you?
[14:59] Taro
Uh, I have no idea what
you're talking abou—
[15:03] Catherine
It sounds fascinating.
[15:04] Catherine
I want you to look into
that scientist's story.
[15:08] Taro
Seriously?
[15:09] Taro
I mean, we don't really need to.
I can find another story to—
[15:11] Catherine
Listen.
[15:12] Catherine
Our readers are already tired
of your flippantly delusional articles.
[15:17] Catherine
I want this story.
[15:19] Taro
But—
[15:21] Taro
Aw, come on...
[15:23] Jiro
What'd Catherine want?
[15:25] Taro
She says we have to do a story
on that scientist's paper.
[15:30] Jiro
How'd she know?
[15:31] Taro
Hell if I know. Maybe she
has the place bugged.
[15:35] Taro
Man, what a drag.
[15:37] Jiro
Gah! That scared me!
[15:40] Jiro
Hello, this is Cafe Rock—
[15:41] Goro
P-Please! You have to save me!
[15:44] Jiro
Are you the scientist from before?
What happened?
[15:48] Goro
W-Well... At the laboratory...
[15:52] Goro
Help—
[15:53] Jiro
Hello? Hello?
[15:56] Taro
What was that?
[15:57] Jiro
I dunno. He asked for help, and it cut off.
[16:04] Taro
What? An earthquake?!
[16:05] Jiro
Could it be—
[16:06] Taro
Could it be what?!
[16:10] Taro
Jiro!
[16:11] Taro
What the heck is going on?
[16:13] Jiro
Look!
[16:15] Taro
Huh? That's...
[16:17] Jiro
That direction...
[16:20] Both
It's Science Laboratories!
[16:26] Jiro
Taro, get a move on!
[16:30] Taro
Wait up!
[16:36] Jiro
Excuse me. We need to go inside.
[16:38] Security
Not right now. There's been an explosion.
SIGN Science
Laboratories
[16:43] Taro
What's up?
[16:44] Jiro
He says we can't go in.
[16:46] Taro
Really? Let's head back, then.
[16:48] Jiro
I don't think so.
Not after coming all this way.
[16:51] Jiro
What is it, Saburo?
[16:54] Jiro
We can sneak in from here?
Can we make it over?
[16:57] Taro
Are you serious?
[16:59] Jiro
Hup...
[16:59] Jiro
Nice! Now all the way up!
[17:02] Jiro
I actually made it!
[17:07] Jiro
Come on, Taro!
[17:08] Taro
Uh, I'm gonna wait here!
[17:12] Taro
Fine, fine! Damn it all.
[17:15] Taro
Come on, this isn't gonna work!
I can't make it over the...
[17:27] Jiro
Where do you think he is?
[17:29] Taro
Are you enjoying yourself that much, Jiro?
[17:33] Jiro
No, not really.
[17:34] Jiro
It's just... if something happened to the
subject of a story, Catherine would get mad.
[17:39] Jiro
Taro! Look over there.
[17:41] Taro
Whoa, what is this?
[17:44] Taro
Was the explosion here?
[17:46] Jiro
You think he's still alive?
[17:47] Taro
No clue.
[17:51] Jiro
But why would there be
an explosion out here?
[17:54] Goro
Help!
[17:56] Jiro
He's alive!
[17:58] Taro
And that thing is still with him...
[18:04] Goro
You guys!
[18:05] Goro
It's me! Goro Sato!
[18:07] Taro
Whoa, whoa! Don't come at us!
[18:09] Goro
Wait, wait, wait!
[18:13] Goro
You came to save me!
[18:16] Taro
That was actually
the last thing I wanted to do!
[18:19] Taro
Ow! Watch it! Can't you run normally?!
[18:22] Goro
My corns hurt too much!
[18:25] Jiro
Yeowch...
[18:26] Jiro
Okay. No other way around it.
[18:38] Goro
The pain... is gone!
[18:40] Goro
Right this way, you two!
[18:42] Taro
That's a rare sight. You actually healed him.
[18:45] Jiro
It's kind of an emergency!
[18:47] Jiro
Come on, let's go!
[18:48] Taro
He's absolutely enjoying this.
[18:57] Goro
We should be safe here.
[18:59] Taro
Who the hell are those people?
[19:01] Goro
I'd like to know that myself!
[19:02] Goro
I came to the lab, and then they attacked me!
[19:05] Jiro
What about the explosion?
[19:06] Goro
They caught me once
when I was on the phone.
[19:09] Goro
They said, "You'd better stay put,
or we'll do this" and then, boom!
[19:13] Jiro
But you still ran?
[19:15] Goro
I thought they'd blow me up
either way, honestly.
[19:17] Taro
You're gutsier than I figured.
[19:19] Jiro
Are these guys after that MOPart of yours?
[19:24] Goro
Could that be it?!
[19:26] Goro
No, it has to be!
[19:29] Goro
They've probably been
threatening the board, too!
[19:32] Taro
Come on. You're letting your
imagination run away with you.
[19:34] Taro
You could always just try and hand it over.
[19:37] Goro
I can't! I've sworn to dedicate
my life to studying MOParts!
[19:48] MIB A
Is this really a good idea?
[19:50] MIB B
Since this is the first time, the bosses
said we should go at it kinda hard.
[19:54] MIB B
Stop resisting, and hand the bag over!
[19:59] Goro
You mean the MOPart?!
[20:02] MIB B
Do I mean the MOPart?
[20:04] MIB A
No clue. We weren't given the specifics.
[20:09] MIB B
Probably, yeah!
[20:10] Goro
In that case, never!
[20:12] Taro
Okay, let's hand it over!
[20:13] Goro
Hey! What are you saying?!
[20:15] Taro
Just do it! These guys are serious!
[20:18] Taro
Besides, maybe all your bad luck is coming
from that crazy crap you've got!
[20:22] Taro
Giving it away would solve everything!
[20:23] Goro
Never! I'm going to make it my life's work!
[20:26] Taro
Just let go!
[20:28] Goro
No!
[20:28] Jiro
What're you two doing?!
[20:29] Taro
Let go already!
[20:30] Goro
Never! I will not—
[20:33] MIB B
Oh, no!
[20:35] Taro
I'm dead!
[20:39] Goro
My MOPart!
[20:41] Goro
Sorry!
[21:17] Jiro
What the heck?!
[21:23] Goro
I-Is that Taro-san?
[21:25] Jiro
It... seems like it.
[21:30] Taro
Wow!
[21:31] MIB B
What is that thing?!
[21:32] MIB A
No one warned us about this!
[21:38] Jiro
That's going too far, Taro! Come on!
[21:40] Jiro
Stop! Enough!
[21:40] MIB A
Everybody run!
[21:44] Jiro
He's not listening!
[21:52] Noin
That's a Motarian!
[21:54] Perch
What's a Motarian doing here?
[21:56] Noin
Damn it! Let's go!
[21:58] Perch
Wait, Noin.
[21:59] Noin
But, Perch—
[22:01] Perch
If a Motarian is involved, our priority
becomes informing the boss about it.
[22:07] Noin
Yeah...
[22:22] Edward
I see.
[22:24] Edward
Then a Motarian has ruined our plan.
[22:28] Perch
Yes, sir. What should we do now?
[22:30] Noin
You want us to catch him, Boss?!
[22:32] Edward
No, let's wait.
[22:37] Edward
I've got an idea.
[22:40] Taro
Ow, ow, ow...
[22:43] Taro
Damn it, why do I hurt all over?
[22:46] Taro
It's like I've got muscle strain
across my whole body.
[22:50] Jiro
So you seriously don't remember?
[22:53] Taro
Don't remember what?!
[22:56] Taro
Ow, ow, ow...
[22:59] Jiro
Welcome—
[23:01] Goro
Thanks for yesterday.
[23:02] Taro
Ugh, you again? What is it no—
[23:06] Taro
Ow, ow, ow!
[23:06] Goro
Well! Starting today, I, Goro Sato,
[23:10] Goro
will be joining the Monthly
Moso Science editorial staff!
[23:15] Goro
It's a pleasure to be working with you!
SIGN Delusional Monthly Magazine
SIGN Delusional Monthly Magazine
[23:25] Saburo
Taro, Jiro...
[23:27] Saburo
If you were thinking "This is gonna
be like that movie °°°°rctica,"
[23:29] Saburo
this might be the perfect anime for you.
[23:32] Saburo
Delusional Monthly Magazine issue 2:
Hold on a Moment, Why Are You Working Here?!
SIGN Issue 2
Hold on a Moment,
Why Are You Working Here?!
[23:37] Saburo
We'll be howling wisely next time, too!