# 4 - Kicking Turbo Granny's Ass
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/GG5H5XQ0D/dan-da-dan)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** KEEP OUT
***SIGN*** EPISODE 4
KICKING TURBO GRANNY'S ASS
**[00:10] ---**
Okarun, you first.
**[00:12] ---**
I believe it's ladies first, actually.
**[00:14] ---**
But see, I'm so teary-eyed.
**[00:15] ---**
They're bone dry.
**[00:17] ---**
It's only fair to go side-by-side!
**[00:22] ---**
Hey! Okarun, you're behind me!
**[00:25] ---**
Argh, that's not fair, Miss Ayase!
Now you're behind me!
**[00:28] ---**
- Damn you!
- Wait! Hold on, stop it!
**[00:33] ---**
- Let's go.
- Okay.
**[00:34] ---**
So what were we going to do again
when Turbo Granny shows up? Punch her?
**[00:38] ---**
No! We're luring her outside of Shono City
to separate her from the location-bound spirit!
**[00:42] ---**
That way, she'll weaken,
and even we can defeat her.
**[00:46] ---**
That's right, that's right.
**[00:48] ---**
But we defeated that giant alien already,
so maybe we can defeat her, too?
**[00:53] ---**
You were scared just now.
**[00:56] ---**
I mean, she's a granny!
**[00:57] ---**
After experiencing something
that huge, a granny...
**[01:01] ---**
So huge!
**[01:03] ---**
Wh-What should we do, Miss Ayase!?
**[01:05] ---**
Calm down!
You just mentioned it just now!
**[01:07] ---**
We're leaving Shono City, right?
**[01:08] ---**
Let's go!
**[01:10] ---**
What!?
**[01:14] ---**
No way! Is this legit?
**[01:15] ---**
She's coming this way!
**[01:17] ---**
I'm borrowing this!
**[01:19] ---**
I should be able to do it. Go!
**[01:25] ---**
Her eyes are mouth! So gross!
**[01:28] ---**
Miss Ayase, please unleash the curse!
**[01:30] ---**
I'll make something out of this!
**[01:31] ---**
- Got it! Counting on you!
- Okay! I'll do my best!
**[01:37] ---**
Man, no good. I don't think I can do it.
**[01:40] ---**
I am utterly useless...
**[01:42] ---**
Oh, that's right,
you become a total downer.
**[01:45] ---**
I'll cheer for you, so go do your best!
Fight on!
**[01:48] ---**
I'll be crushed to death
from that pressure...
**[01:53] ---**
No way!
**[01:54] ---**
Miss Ayase? What's going on?
**[01:56] ---**
Why? I can't see it!
**[01:58] ---**
The power of the curse is gone?
**[02:00] ---**
I returned his weenie to him.
**[02:02] ---**
The curse is no longer.
**[02:04] ---**
What a surprise!
**[02:05] ---**
I didn't expect you to use
the power of the curse to transform!
**[02:10] ---**
But I won't let you do it.
**[02:12] ---**
You thieving pig!
I won't let you use my power!
**[02:17] ---**
I'm going to thoroughly chew
and eat you up!
**[02:22] ---**
*Taunt her.*
**[02:23] ---**
*That thing has absolute confidence
in its running.*
**[02:26] ---**
*A few random taunts
and it's sure to take the challenge.*
**[02:29] ---**
Are you that scared of losing
in a race?
**[02:32] ---**
Such brute force is so unfashionable.
**[02:35] ---**
I mean, your name is Turbo Granny, right?
**[02:37] ---**
There's no way you'd pass a race
to show off how fast you can run.
**[02:40] ---**
If you're really Turbo...
**[02:42] ---**
then challenge us with how fast you can run!
**[02:52] ---**
You...
**[02:54] ---**
Who do you think
you're mouthing off to, huh?
**[02:57] ---**
There's no way I'd lose in a running match.
**[03:00] ---**
Fine. I'll accept your challenge.
**[03:03] ---**
Besides, I can eat you two at any point.
**[03:06] ---**
What are the rules?
Where's the finish line?
**[03:09] ---**
No finish line. We're playing tag.
**[03:12] ---**
If you catch us, you win.
Simple, yeah?
**[03:15] ---**
Count for ten minutes when you begin.
**[03:17] ---**
We'll make a run for it
in the meantime.
**[03:19] ---**
Those are the rules, so you absolutely
have to adhere to them.
**[03:22] ---**
If you don't, the legend of Turbo Granny
will just be a piece of crap.
**[03:28] ---**
Very well.
**[03:29] ---**
I hate people who break the rules.
**[03:31] ---**
Then, let's begin! Run, Okarun!
**[03:35] ---**
One, two, three, four...
**[03:37] ---**
Amazing! I totally thought
we were goners!
**[03:40] ---**
Miss Ayase, are you a genius?
**[03:41] ---**
I know! But I shoulda provoked a bit harder!
**[03:42] ---**
One minute, three minutes,
five minutes...
**[03:44] ---**
Ten minutes might be cutting it close!
**[03:49] ---**
Eight minutes, six minutes...
**[03:50] ---**
Hold on! She's counting weird!
**[03:53] ---**
Ten minutes.
**[03:59] ---**
Okaru...
**[03:59] ---**
Miss Ayase!
**[04:03] ---**
Miss Ayase!
**[04:05] ---**
Her ten minutes have passed.
**[04:08] ---**
Now I have to count your ten minutes.
**[04:12] ---**
Forty...
**[04:14] ---**
One minute... Two minutes...
**[04:15] ---**
That's cheating!
Release Miss Ayase at once!
**[04:18] ---**
Fifty-six... Fifty-seven...
**[04:19] ---**
Stop! That way of counting is absurd!
**[04:21] ---**
You said you were going
to adhere to the rules!
**[04:23] ---**
She didn't specify how to count.
**[04:25] ---**
Four minutes... Five minutes...
**[04:28] ---**
Gimme a break! Stop counting!
**[04:30] ---**
Ten minutes.
**[04:32] ---**
There.
**[04:34] ---**
Caught you.
**[04:36] ---**
*But you're kinda dense, Okarun.
I'll probably be helping you next time, too!*
**[04:41] ---**
Let me suckle that teat!
**[04:47] ---**
Ouch!
**[04:49] ---**
How dare you suckle my teat
without permission!?
**[04:51] ---**
Let go, you bastard! Brat!
**[04:54] ---**
You're the one who said it!
**[04:56] ---**
I absolutely won't let go
until you release Miss Ayase!
**[04:59] ---**
Ouch!
**[05:00] ---**
What the hell's going on?
I can't muster my strength!
**[05:03] ---**
Is it because of this outfit!?
**[05:06] ---**
Damn you! I have no choice!
**[05:08] ---**
I'll possess you!
**[05:18] ---**
What a hassle!
**[05:20] ---**
Damn brat!
**[05:24] ---**
You aren't connected
to some sorcerer, are you?
**[05:29] ---**
Oh well. I'll eat the girl and end it all.
**[05:36] ---**
What is this feeling
of being crushed inside a hand?
**[05:39] ---**
I can tell. Even if I can't see,
I can tell really well.
**[05:43] ---**
Granny's main form slipped in,
so it's crystal clear...
**[05:47] ---**
by sense of touch!
**[05:52] ---**
Blast you!
**[05:56] ---**
Let go!
**[06:07] ---**
You saved me, Miss Ayase!
**[06:08] ---**
That's my line.
That was awesome, Okarun!
**[06:10] ---**
Damn it! Let me outta this brat!
**[06:14] ---**
I caught you, you scummy hag!
How should we torture you now...
**[06:19] ---**
Give her back.
**[06:21] ---**
Give Granny back!
**[06:25] ---**
Location-bound spirit, kill them!
**[08:09] ---**
Crab!
**[08:12] ---**
Why is the location-bound spirit a crab!?
**[08:14] ---**
Grandma said the dead turn themselves
into freshwater crabs to cross the River Styx!
***SIGN*** BEWARE OF BEARS
**[08:24] ---**
This way! Over here!
Where are you looking, you fool?
**[08:27] ---**
Okarun, time to transform!
**[08:28] ---**
Damn granny! You stay still, you punk!
**[08:31] ---**
- How dare you address me as such?
- Miss Ayase, hurry!
**[08:33] ---**
It's really hard! Unlike before,
you have the real thing in there!
**[08:39] ---**
Here it comes!
**[08:44] ---**
That was close! This is super serious!
**[08:46] ---**
Curse you! Don't use my power
without permission!
**[08:50] ---**
Let go, you punks!
**[08:51] ---**
This is great!
It's easier to squish you directly!
**[08:54] ---**
Momo-chan, it's lookin' bad.
**[08:56] ---**
Hey! Don't get chummy
and call me by my first name!
**[08:58] ---**
You're too heavy
so I can't make this curve.
**[09:01] ---**
For real!?
**[09:05] ---**
Damn it!
**[09:09] ---**
Time to go full throttle now!
**[09:13] ---**
Wicked! It's like a helicopter!
**[09:15] ---**
I can't do it anymore.
**[09:22] ---**
Ouch!
**[09:25] ---**
Okarun, are you okay?
**[09:26] ---**
I'm all droopy...
**[09:28] ---**
Sorry. Seriously, you're a lifesaver!
**[09:29] ---**
But I already used one full throttle.
**[09:31] ---**
That's right, you can only go
full throttle twice, right?
**[09:34] ---**
But I think we gained some distance, didn't we?
**[09:36] ---**
It's here!
**[09:42] ---**
There's a ton of faces on its back!
**[09:45] ---**
Crap! There's a lot of people here, too!
**[09:46] ---**
What's that?
He's totally giving a piggyback ride.
**[09:48] ---**
What dedication. So hilarious!
**[09:51] ---**
This is totally embarrassing!
**[09:53] ---**
No way! Nobody else can see the crab!?
**[09:55] ---**
Hold on a second!
**[09:56] ---**
That means we just look like
we're all in on a chicken fight!
**[10:00] ---**
I hope I don't bump into any friends!
**[10:02] ---**
Momo-chan, my stamina
is getting seriously low.
**[10:04] ---**
Come on, try harder!
What about your other full throttle?
**[10:06] ---**
No good even if I go full throttle.
I can't leave Shono City distance-wise!
**[10:09] ---**
At this rate, that thing
will catch up and eat us!
**[10:11] ---**
Seriously, anything but that!
**[10:12] ---**
I ain't letting no crab eat me!
I would rather eat a crab instead!
**[10:18] ---**
Let's try something. Hang a right, Okarun!
***SIGN*** HEALTH LAND
**[10:23] ---**
Welcome. How many will it be?
**[10:25] ---**
Two!
***SIGN*** MANGA CAFE A TIME TO RELAX
**[10:28] ---**
Head upstairs!
**[10:29] ---**
It should be harder for it
to chase us in a narrow place!
**[10:33] ---**
It doesn't matter at all!?
**[10:38] ---**
An explosion!
**[10:39] ---**
Run away!
**[10:42] ---**
Hot! What is this place?
**[10:45] ---**
This is not good, Miss Ayase!
**[10:46] ---**
Crabs thrive in waterfronts!
**[10:49] ---**
Water is water, but...
**[10:52] ---**
this is a hot spring!
**[11:01] ---**
When you boil crabs, the meat
tightens up and gets plump, right?
**[11:04] ---**
Tightening up means that
the muscle fibers stiffen up,
**[11:07] ---**
so maybe its movements will slow down.
**[11:18] ---**
It stopped. It stopped!
**[11:20] ---**
Boiled!
**[11:21] ---**
Now that it's all red,
it totally looks yummy!
**[11:24] ---**
Freaky! You were looking at it like that?
**[11:26] ---**
Stop eyeing it,
and let's just get out of here!
**[11:30] ---**
Straight down this road
and we'll escape Shono City.
**[11:33] ---**
Wait, aren't there fewer people than before?
**[11:35] ---**
Indeed.
**[11:41] ---**
What's that?
**[11:47] ---**
Crap, crap, crap, crap!
**[11:50] ---**
What are those guys!?
**[11:52] ---**
Idiots! You won't get away that easily!
**[11:55] ---**
There's a giant cemetery
at the edge of Shono City!
**[11:59] ---**
I just borrowed some help
from the spirits already resting there.
**[12:02] ---**
After all, Shono City is our territory!
**[12:13] ---**
Miss Ayase!
**[12:16] ---**
We're not letting you leave Shono City!
**[12:28] ---**
Okarun, go full throttle.
**[12:30] ---**
Huh? Is it all right?
**[12:32] ---**
Even if I use it here,
we won't make it to the next city!
**[12:37] ---**
If you don't use it, we'll die right here!
**[12:39] ---**
Trust me!
**[12:45] ---**
Man, I'm so depressed.
**[12:47] ---**
You're done for.
**[12:49] ---**
One more full throttle from this kid
and he'll be immobile!
**[12:56] ---**
Do it!
**[13:25] ---**
Momo-chan, I can't make this turn!
**[13:44] ---**
Don't stop!
**[13:58] ---**
Momo-chan! We gotta get back
to the original route!
**[14:21] ---**
You untransformed!
**[14:23] ---**
Huh?
**[14:26] ---**
Don't suddenly let go of me!
**[14:40] ---**
Okarun, land!
**[14:58] ---**
I'm done for. I'm at my limit!
**[15:00] ---**
My body is going to rip apart!
**[15:02] ---**
Too wicked! I thought
I was gonna puke out my organs!
**[15:06] ---**
Okarun, stand up!
**[15:08] ---**
It's only a little further!
**[15:12] ---**
Turbo Granny.
**[15:14] ---**
Crap, I let go of her!
**[15:22] ---**
I can't forgive you for this.
You keep cheating.
**[15:25] ---**
What I detest the most...
**[15:28] ---**
is your lack of respect for elders.
**[15:31] ---**
You really are an amazing senior.
**[15:34] ---**
I've never seen an old person
who can bully young folks this much.
**[15:37] ---**
Mad respect for that.
**[15:39] ---**
Speak properly, you punk.
**[15:41] ---**
I can see through your ploys
to use modern words to fool the elderly.
**[15:46] ---**
I really hate those words. I hate it.
**[15:49] ---**
I hate shady brats like that.
**[15:52] ---**
What a...
**[15:59] ---**
son of a bitch.
**[16:01] ---**
All right, I'll eat ya, so run away.
**[16:04] ---**
You can leave Shono City real soon now.
**[16:08] ---**
I'll wait for you to finish running.
Ten minutes? Or 20 minutes?
**[16:15] ---**
Then I'll take one second.
**[16:19] ---**
My ability is to take anything...
**[16:24] ---**
and grab it.
**[16:32] ---**
Get back here!
**[16:35] ---**
Turbo Granny used to be called
Hundred Kilo Granny!
**[16:38] ---**
The Takasaki Line's maximum speed
is 120 kmph!
**[16:42] ---**
She can't catch up to us!
**[16:44] ---**
You're so slow! What a slowpoke!
**[16:46] ---**
You're nothing compared to us!
**[16:48] ---**
You're dead meat!
**[16:55] ---**
You fool!
**[16:57] ---**
Trains aren't always going at full speed!
**[17:01] ---**
They slow down at curves!
**[17:03] ---**
But I can always run at 100 kmph.
I'm not letting you get away!
**[17:08] ---**
"I'm not letting you get away,"
is my line, moron.
**[17:11] ---**
Just like Grandma said,
you always take the bait if I taunt ya.
**[17:15] ---**
You're already on board...
**[17:18] ---**
the rails of your defeat.
**[17:23] ---**
Yeah. Welcome to Kamigoe City.
**[17:27] ---**
You rotten bastard pigs!
**[17:30] ---**
Let go of me!
**[17:31] ---**
You were really fast, senior.
**[17:34] ---**
It's like you haven't lived
a long time for nothing.
**[17:36] ---**
Nobody can win against you.
**[17:39] ---**
But in this race...
**[17:42] ---**
I win.
**[18:11] ---**
Ow.
**[18:24] ---**
Miss Ayase, where are we!?
**[18:26] ---**
Where's the crab? And Turbo Granny?
**[18:29] ---**
Looks like we defeated them.
**[18:35] ---**
I really didn't want to be rough like this.
**[18:40] ---**
This is where girls around your age were violated,
cut to pieces, and tossed away.
**[18:46] ---**
They didn't become evil spirits
because they wanted to.
**[18:54] ---**
We spirit mediums
have long hunted Turbo Granny.
**[19:00] ---**
Granny always showed up in places
where spirits of girls met irrational deaths.
**[19:06] ---**
Perhaps she went around consoling the spirits
of the girls who couldn't rest in peace.
**[19:12] ---**
But the dead shouldn't assault the living.
That's no good.
**[19:16] ---**
We have to use force
to send them to the other side.
**[19:20] ---**
The same goes for the living.
They should never do anything to mock the dead.
**[19:25] ---**
Trample into their territory disrespectfully,
and you can only blame yourself for your death.
**[19:30] ---**
Those are the rules for the living
and the dead to coexist.
**[19:41] ---**
I'm glad you were okay.
**[19:46] ---**
Damn it, old hag!
Don't take all the big ones!
**[19:50] ---**
If you don't give me this piece of crab,
I'll break your Bakatono DVDs!
**[19:53] ---**
Try me! You do that and I'll burn
all your Ken Takakura merch!
**[19:57] ---**
You're taking Mr. Ken as hostage!?
You really aren't human!
**[19:59] ---**
You're the one
who took Bakatono hostage first!
**[20:02] ---**
- What'd you say, hag!?
- Huh?
**[20:02] ---**
Um, I don't have an appetite,
so if you'd like...
**[20:06] ---**
You have crab right in front of you
but no appetite? What a loser.
**[20:09] ---**
Monster.
**[20:10] ---**
I'd totally be eating
under normal circumstances!
**[20:12] ---**
How can you eat crab right after
experiencing what happened?
**[20:14] ---**
Then what do you want to eat
at what kind of time, you entitled brat?
**[20:19] ---**
I don't want to talk anymore!
**[20:21] ---**
You're so whiny for a guy.
Are you sure you have something down there?
**[20:25] ---**
I do! Thank you for retrieving it for me!
**[20:28] ---**
Show me.
**[20:29] ---**
Huh?
**[20:30] ---**
I'm telling you to show me
that it's actually there.
**[20:32] ---**
Um...
**[20:34] ---**
Are you stupid?
**[20:41] ---**
Are you insane!?
**[20:43] ---**
Miss Ayase, do something about this!
**[20:47] ---**
This family is insane!
**[20:50] ---**
Hold up, you!
**[20:55] ---**
Thank you for everything.
**[20:57] ---**
It's late so be careful.
**[20:59] ---**
I think it'll be safer than this house.
**[21:02] ---**
You're not getting away next time.
**[21:04] ---**
I'm never showing you.
**[21:06] ---**
So chilly.
**[21:10] ---**
Leave her be. She's not serious about it.
**[21:14] ---**
You weren't eating crab and were pretty depressed,
so I think she tried to cheer you up?
**[21:19] ---**
So that's it. I'm sorry I made her
be so considerate...
**[21:23] ---**
Not!
**[21:25] ---**
Well then, goodbye.
**[21:27] ---**
Yeah. Bye-bye.
**[21:32] ---**
*Goodbye?*
**[21:34] ---**
*Goodbye...*
**[21:36] ---**
*Goodbye?*
**[21:38] ---**
*Goodbye...*
**[21:40] ---**
Goodbye?
**[21:42] ---**
Goodbye...
**[21:45] ---**
Goodbye?
**[21:47] ---**
Goodbye...
**[21:49] ---**
Goodbye?
**[21:55] ---**
Okarun!
**[22:01] ---**
See you tomorrow!
**[22:09] ---**
Okay!
**[23:42] ---**
Grandma, why was it a crab?
**[23:44] ---**
They say spirits of the dead turn themselves
into freshwater crabs to cross the River Styx!
**[23:48] ---**
That's why they turned into location-bound
spirits inside that tunnel.
**[23:50] ---**
But yeah, I'm surprised
you really ate all that crab!
***SIGN*** EPISODE 5 LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU BALLS?
**[23:52] ---**
Next episode,
"Like, Where Are Your Balls!?"
**[23:54] ---**
That's why I told you to show me.