10 - Have You Ever Seen a Cattle Mutilation?

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    EPISODE 10 HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A CATTLE MUTILATION?
[01:38] ---
    Are you making a fool of me?
[01:43] ---
    I'll ask just one more time.
[01:46] ---
    You guys being bullied?
[01:51] ---
    No, ma'am.
SIGN    SCHOOL NURSE QUEEN-SENSEI
[01:56] ---
    Don't hide it. Just tell me.
[01:59] ---
    I have zero tolerance for bullying.
[02:03] ---
    I am on your side.
[02:07] ---
    Thanks, ma'am.
[02:10] ---
    Queen-sensei, you have a call
    in the teacher's office.
[02:14] ---
    Damn baldie!
[02:15] ---
    I told ya, don't open the door
    without knocking first!
[02:20] ---
    I'm sorry, Queen-sensei!
[02:22] ---
    Looks like you need some discipline.
[02:24] ---
    - Discipline? Um...
    - Rotten scumbag. Cue balls like you...
[02:30] ---
    I'm stepping out for a bit.
    You guys can stay as long as you like.
[02:36] ---
    Thanks, ma'am.
[02:38] ---
    What am I gonna do?
    People saw me in a weird situation!
[02:41] ---
    My popularity! My innocent image!
[02:45] ---
    More like, them aliens
    are way too persistent!
[02:48] ---
    If they keep assaulting us like that,
    I won't be able to stand it!
[02:52] ---
    On top of that, they were targeting me.
[02:55] ---
    It seems like they were after
    Turbo Granny's powers.
[02:59] ---
    Hey, by the way...
[03:02] ---
    Since when have you been able
    to use Acro-Silky's powers?
[03:06] ---
    Just now. My powers awakened
    during the battle.
[03:10] ---
    I mean, I was chosen
    as a "Pretty Soldier" after all.
[03:14] ---
    Your title keeps changing so much.
[03:16] ---
    Well, we did transfer Acro-Silky's aura
    to you, so I guess it's possible.
[03:21] ---
    But if that's the case, it's highly likely that
    Miss Shiratori will also be targeted by them.
[03:25] ---
    Takakura-kun is worried about me.
[03:28] ---
    We were able to fend them off
    because we had yokai powers.
[03:30] ---
    But as long as we have these powers,
    the aliens will be targeting us.
[03:34] ---
    But isn't it strange?
[03:36] ---
    If they want yokai powers,
    they should just attack the yokai directly.
[03:40] ---
    You're right.
[03:42] ---
    No, wait. That's exactly it!
[03:44] ---
    The aliens, despite having astounding
    scientific technology, are not invading Earth.
[03:48] ---
    There's much debate about that,
    and I was always curious about it!
[03:53] ---
    They can't because
    we have yokai monsters around!
SIGN    INJURED - 4 PEOPLE
    HEAT STROKE - 3 PEOPLE
[03:56] ---
    They're not just in Japan!
[03:57] ---
    Folklore about spirits and demons
    exist all over the world!
[04:00] ---
    In other words, yokai and demons
    are protecting the Earth from alien invasion!
[04:05] ---
    Even with their scientific technology,
    aliens can't beat yokai.
[04:08] ---
    Thus, they're attacking special humans
    like us for research,
[04:11] ---
    and they're trying to develop technology
    to win against the yokai!
[04:15] ---
    I'm sure of it!
[04:17] ---
    There's a chance they already took
    my missing family jewels!
[04:21] ---
    Oh crap! We gotta hurry and find it!
[04:24] ---
    The story went too epic
    and I totes missed the point!
[04:26] ---
    So what? Are we in trouble?
[04:28] ---
    I get it! I still hold
    the fate of the world in my hands!
[04:33] ---
    Fine, we'll go with that.
[04:35] ---
    Anyway, people saw me naked!
[04:39] ---
    Ugh, don't remind me of reality!
[04:42] ---
    I'm sure nobody would believe
    anything we'd say anyway.
[04:46] ---
    Oh, what to do!
[04:47] ---
    That's it!
[04:48] ---
    I'll just say that Miss Ayase stripped me!
[04:51] ---
    Hey!
[04:52] ---
    It's not a lie, is it?
[04:53] ---
    You did tell me to strip down.
[04:55] ---
    Takakura-kun, you should go with that, too.
[04:57] ---
    Huh?
[04:58] ---
    Fine, you can go with that.
[04:59] ---
    But if we do that, then you...
[05:01] ---
    I'm kinda tired. Making excuses
    sounds like a pain in the ass.
[05:04] ---
    - Aira, are you okay?
    - What happened to you?
[05:07] ---
    You surprised me!
[05:09] ---
    Oh! Momo Ayase, is this your fault?
[05:11] ---
    Uh, um...
[05:13] ---
    Let's go, Aira!
[05:14] ---
    Wait, hold on. Miss Ayase, if you don't hurry,
    you'll turn into the villain!
[05:18] ---
    I could care less.
[05:20] ---
    You don't care?
[05:22] ---
    More than any of this...
[05:24] ---
    Okarun, give me your excuse
    for that other thing.
[05:28] ---
    What were you doing there
    during lunch break?
[05:31] ---
    That was...
[05:32] ---
    Miss Shiratori tried to kiss me
    out of the blue.
[05:35] ---
    Huh!?
[05:36] ---
    It's true!
[05:37] ---
    We got into a tussle because of that,
[05:39] ---
    and when we both fell over,
    that's when you happened to see us.
[05:43] ---
    So then, what were you
    doing there to begin with?
[05:47] ---
    C'mon. C'mon.
[05:52] ---
    I was working out.
[05:54] ---
    Like push-ups and stuff.
[05:56] ---
    Oh?
[05:57] ---
    I wanted to become stronger.
[06:00] ---
    And why'd ya want to keep it a secret?
[06:03] ---
    Um...
[06:05] ---
    If I got stronger without you knowing,
    I thought it would be kinda cool.
[06:10] ---
    Say what? Hilarious!
[06:11] ---
    Okarun, you have a vain side, too?
[06:13] ---
    O-Of course I do.
[06:15] ---
    I am a guy after all.
[06:18] ---
    I want you to think I'm a cool guy.
[06:27] ---
    I see, I get it.
[06:30] ---
    Lemme see your face.
[06:32] ---
    D-Don't tease me!
    That's the bad thing about you.
[06:36] ---
    So why? Why do you want me
    to think you're cool?
[06:38] ---
    Huh? I told you.
    It's because I'm a guy!
[06:41] ---
    Why do you want people to think that
    just because you're a guy?
[06:44] ---
    Huh?
[06:45] ---
    That's enough of that!
[06:48] ---
    I'll be going now!
[06:50] ---
    I won't say anything
    that'll make you the villain though.
[06:54] ---
    Okarun.
[07:18] ---
    Found Momo!
[07:19] ---
    Okarun is here, too!
[07:21] ---
    Whoa! You surprised me!
[07:22] ---
    No, that's our line.
[07:24] ---
    You suddenly disappeared on us
    during class!
[07:26] ---
    Kana contacted us.
    I was totally spooked.
[07:28] ---
    She said you and Okarun were hugging
    each other naked in front of Class D.
[07:32] ---
    But we were all in chemistry lab, right?
[07:34] ---
    So what's going on?
[07:37] ---
    Even if I told you,
    you wouldn't understand.
[07:40] ---
    That's just how things ended up.
[07:42] ---
    I see.
[07:43] ---
    Isn't that a little too vague?
[07:45] ---
    All the mysteries
    have been unraveled.
[07:46] ---
    Whoa, amazeballs!
[07:51] ---
    You. There's a person
    named Shiratori in Class D.
[07:55] ---
    So uh, do you know her?
[08:01] ---
    Well, yeah.
[08:04] ---
    My investigations show that
    Shiratori in Class D was also naked.
[08:11] ---
    Which brings us to Momo, Okarun,
    and Shiratori.
[08:15] ---
    Where a love triangle emerges...
[08:19] ---
    Whoa.
[08:20] ---
    Which means, this is...
[08:24] ---
    all for one man.
[08:28] ---
    A war between two women.
SIGN    NUDE GLADIATOR COMBAT
[08:35] ---
    It means we had some
    Nude Gladiator Combat!
[08:42] ---
    Momo was talking to that mantis shrimp
[08:44] ---
    because she wanted Master Mantis to teach her
    to punch so she could knock Shiratori's lights out!
[08:49] ---
    What the hell?
[08:50] ---
    Teach me.
[08:51] ---
    Momo was sulking the whole time
[08:53] ---
    because she was jealous of Shiratori!
[08:55] ---
    Shut that trap!
[08:56] ---
    I ain't jealous of her!
[08:58] ---
    You are the culprit!
[09:00] ---
    Hold on! Stop it!
[09:02] ---
    Aira, are you okay?
[09:03] ---
    What in the world happened!?
[09:05] ---
    I'll help out in any way possible
    if it's for you, Miss Shiratori!
[09:09] ---
    Thank you, everyone.
[09:11] ---
    Aira is mammoth-happy!
[09:13] ---
    But I don't really want to talk about
    what happened.
[09:16] ---
    So I'd be grateful
    if you left me alone about this.
[09:21] ---
    I impress myself with how high
    my own popularity is!
[09:24] ---
    Times like this are when
    your everyday efforts bear fruit.
[09:27] ---
    This is how this incident will dissipate.
[09:30] ---
    It's Momo Ayase, isn't it?
    She did this to you?
[09:33] ---
    You've been harassed
    by Momo Ayase lately.
[09:37] ---
    Like that thing with the washtub.
[09:39] ---
    No way. Really?
[09:40] ---
    Momo Ayase's not getting away with this!
[09:42] ---
    Maybe she's jealous
    of Miss Shiratori's beauty?
[09:45] ---
    What's her problem!?
[09:46] ---
    I heard she'll sleep with any guy.
[09:50] ---
    Oh, I know about that rumor!
    It was going around a while back!
[09:53] ---
    Shouldn't we punish her in some way?
    Like spread word about her evil.
[09:57] ---
    Right!
[09:58] ---
    Let's teach her what happens
    when you make our Miss Shiratori cry!
[10:01] ---
    So true!
[10:04] ---
    I'm the one who spread that fake rumor.
[10:08] ---
    Hold on, Aira. What's wrong?
[10:10] ---
    I'm at fault.
[10:12] ---
    So please don't speak badly
    of Momo Ayase.
[10:30] ---
    What the?
[10:31] ---
    What's going on?
[10:50] ---
    I've done myself in.
[10:52] ---
    My popularity...
[10:54] ---
    Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid...
[10:56] ---
    Hey, what are you doing?
[11:01] ---
    Deranged as usual, I see.
[11:03] ---
    Shut up! What do you want?
[11:07] ---
    Nothing much.
[11:11] ---
    How's it on your end? Were you able
    to come up with a good excuse?
[11:14] ---
    Huh?
[11:15] ---
    W-Well, yeah. They're all filled
    with hatred against you!
[11:20] ---
    You say that, but you're all alone.
[11:23] ---
    You always have people stringing
    behind you like goldfish turds.
[11:27] ---
    You've had enough, right?
    Can you get lost?
[11:30] ---
    I mean, you are my enemy!
[11:38] ---
    I bet you didn't badmouth me.
[11:41] ---
    Of course I did!
[11:42] ---
    I said all kinds of bad stuff!
    Got a problem with that?
[11:46] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[11:51] ---
    I can't just go home like this.
[11:56] ---
    I have to earn a living for my family.
[12:02] ---
    This thing has the nerve to show up again!?
[12:05] ---
    It's emitting some weird white fluid!
[12:06] ---
    Chiquitita, you have a dream?
[12:17] ---
    Huh? You okay?
[12:20] ---
    Chiquitita.
[12:25] ---
    Daddy!
[12:27] ---
    Daddy!
[12:33] ---
    I'm sorry, Chiquitita.
[12:45] ---
    Th-This place is...
[12:50] ---
    Grandma, see, look here!
    This is an alien!
[12:54] ---
    It doesn't feel like one.
    Isn't this just a kappa?
[12:57] ---
    No way! There's an alien right in front of you,
    and you won't believe it? The hell?
[13:02] ---
    It just doesn't feel like an alien.
[13:04] ---
    This thing's totally a kappa.
[13:05] ---
    No, actually, there are theories
    that kappa are actually aliens!
[13:09] ---
    Anyway, what are we gonna do
    about this guy? We patched him up.
[13:13] ---
    He might attack us again, you know.
[13:18] ---
    You better not!
    We got Grandma on our side!
[13:25] ---
    Oh, that?
[13:27] ---
    I had no idea what aliens eat,
    so I just made some curry for now.
[13:31] ---
    You don't have to eat it
    if you don't want it.
[13:41] ---
    You gave me proper medical attention.
[13:44] ---
    Nobody has ever
    been this kind to me before.
[13:50] ---
    I will never ever
    bring harm to you ever again.
[14:02] ---
    Tastes awful!
[14:04] ---
    Tastes awful!
[14:08] ---
    Why you!
[14:10] ---
    Don't you be eatin' just the fatty tuna!
[14:12] ---
    You ate my sea urchin!
[14:15] ---
    You're a guest!
    Just stick to the pickled ginger!
[14:17] ---
    If I'm a guest, treat me like one!
    Bring me some blackthroat seaperch!
[14:20] ---
    You're just a kappa!
    Stick to cucumber rolls!
[14:23] ---
    You left some sea urchin uneaten!
[14:25] ---
    I was saving the best for last,
    you schmuck!
[14:29] ---
    You ugly idiot baldie!
[14:30] ---
    Ugly scummy idiot baldie!
[14:32] ---
    Each and every one of you are scum!
[14:35] ---
    I'm never serving you guys sushi again!
[14:40] ---
    My son is ill.
[14:43] ---
    All his blood leaves his body
    with his urine and feces.
[14:46] ---
    He'll die unless he's given
    new blood every day.
[14:51] ---
    My wife died from the same illness.
[14:54] ---
    For treatment, I need [$@$@].
[14:57] ---
    What? Sorry, I didn't catch that.
[14:59] ---
    It's what you guys call currency.
[15:02] ---
    And I need tons of currency.
[15:07] ---
    My [@@@@] is a warzone,
    and can't provide me currency.
[15:09] ---
    Huh? I really can't decipher
    what you're saying.
[15:12] ---
    So I must head out
    and earn some foreign currency.
[15:17] ---
    We [@@] have powerful bodies,
    so we have jobs like bodyguards and [@/@].
[15:24] ---
    But I am weak.
[15:26] ---
    Degenerate [@@] like myself
    can't find any work.
[15:31] ---
    There are only outlaw jobs full of danger.
[15:36] ---
    Because I'm...
[15:38] ---
    Because I'm weak, my wife had to die,
[15:42] ---
    I injured all of you, and my son
    is facing so much hardship.
[15:48] ---
    I'm so pathetic.
[15:50] ---
    I'm so pathetic!
[15:57] ---
    What can I do to help you?
[15:59] ---
    If you have my weenie,
    would that save your son?
[16:01] ---
    Huh? What the hell
    are you talking about? Stop that!
[16:04] ---
    It'll be fine if he can just get paid.
[16:07] ---
    I can go reclaim my weenie after that!
[16:09] ---
    Reclaim? From where?
[16:11] ---
    In the first place, if the treatment
    is to get new blood every single day,
[16:15] ---
    isn't it meaningless
    to get just one cash payment?
[16:18] ---
    It's tough for him, but he has to work
    a proper job to keep paying for it!
[16:22] ---
    He wants to work,
    but he can't find a job!
[16:25] ---
    How is he going to make a living?
[16:27] ---
    I heard that he's in trouble, so I can't just
    pretend like I didn't hear it.
[16:31] ---
    I want to help!
[16:33] ---
    Calm down.
    I understand how you feel, though.
[16:36] ---
    I'll get it back for you.
    That is, your, um... you-know-what.
[16:41] ---
    Keep quiet, you stupid girl!
[16:42] ---
    When Takakura-kun is trying
    to do something for someone else,
[16:45] ---
    and if you can't support him,
    you can't call yourself his partner.
[16:49] ---
    Don't pretend like you're his partner!
[16:54] ---
    What Miss Momo Ayase says is correct.
[16:57] ---
    The only way is for me to find a proper job.
[17:00] ---
    I was very happy about
    Mr. Ken Takakura's consideration.
[17:05] ---
    But you have been far too kind
    to me already.
[17:10] ---
    I have made a promise
    that I will not harm you.
[17:15] ---
    I'm sorry to stay so long.
[17:18] ---
    Thank you so very much.
[17:21] ---
    Hold it.
[17:22] ---
    Your blood stinks.
[17:24] ---
    Wait, what did you just say?
[17:26] ---
    That's anti-alien!
    Where's political correctness?
[17:28] ---
    Shut up, you little turd.
[17:30] ---
    Screw political correctness.
[17:34] ---
    That white liquid of yours
    is blood, yeah?
[17:38] ---
    Those blood-soaked bandages
    somehow smell familiar.
[17:42] ---
    Huh?
SIGN    YUJI INTENSE MILK UNALTERED COMPONENTS TYPE: MILK
[17:50] ---
    Try lapping up some of that.
[18:01] ---
    Th-This is...
[18:03] ---
    the same!
[18:05] ---
    It's the same thing as our blood!
[18:08] ---
    Huh? What the?
    Grandma, what's going on?
[18:11] ---
    His bandage reeked like that smell
    when you use a dirty rag to wipe up some milk.
[18:17] ---
    Milk is cow's "blood" to begin with,
    but of all things kappa's blood was milk, too?
[18:23] ---
    Seriously? Then you should take
    tons of milk back with you!
[18:25] ---
    Dover Demon's blood is milk.
[18:27] ---
    But it's a little thin.
[18:30] ---
    They homogenize it
    so it's easy for humans to drink.
[18:34] ---
    I'll ask a dairy farmer I know
    to give you one whole cow.
[18:39] ---
    Well, good luck with everything.
[18:41] ---
    Take care of yourself.
SIGN    INTENSE MILK
[19:01] ---
    Thank you!
[19:04] ---
    I will never forget this generosity!
[19:09] ---
    If something ever happens,
    I will make sure to be your ally!
[19:15] ---
    - It's Cattle Mutilation!
    - A live Abduction!
[19:15] ---
    Shut up! You're a nuisance to the neighborhood!
    Hurry up and go home!
[19:18] ---
    I will protect this planet!
    So never come back again!
[19:19] ---
    Amazing! So huge! So awesome!
[19:23] ---
    Hope we meet again!
[19:41] ---
    Grandma, you believe in aliens now, right?
[19:44] ---
    Huh? That was just a kappa.
[19:46] ---
    Huh? Okarun, say something
    to this old hag!
[19:49] ---
    There's a theory that kappa are aliens.
[19:55] ---
    Please!
[19:57] ---
    Buy us some school uniforms
    with Ms. Dodoria's appearance fees!
[20:01] ---
    How many times do I have
    to buy your uniforms, you dumbasses?
[20:06] ---
    Next time, we will wear them very carefully!
[20:09] ---
    Is it okay for us, too?
[20:10] ---
    We don't have any money.
[20:12] ---
    In times like this, it's best to exploit
    the financial power of adults.
[20:16] ---
    By the way, this is the third time.
[20:18] ---
    Aira and Four-Eyes,
    I'll buy uniforms for you two.
[20:22] ---
    Hold on!
    Why am I not included?
[20:25] ---
    I don't like your eyes.
[20:27] ---
    Those eyes that want to exploit
    the financial power of adults.
[20:32] ---
    So until I say you're done...
[20:34] ---
    do an impersonation of Hiroshi Abe.
[20:36] ---
    Gimme a break!
    I'd never do anything like that!
[20:40] ---
    Come on, say it.
    Who are you speaking to? Say it!
[20:44] ---
    You okay with that?
    With no deal for your uniform?
[20:48] ---
    I don't care either way.
[20:50] ---
    I don't wanna wear
    a school uniform anyway.
[20:57] ---
    What's with that face?
    That's so out there!
[20:59] ---
    So cute.
[21:00] ---
    So?
[21:01] ---
    That's nothing like him! How irritating!
[21:05] ---
    Hey, Momo. You answer that.
    Keep doing your impersonation, though.
[21:09] ---
    Rocket Engine Valve.
[21:11] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[21:12] ---
    Rocket Engine Valve.
[21:13] ---
    I'm watching you from here.
    You better not stop!
[21:19] ---
    Rocket Engine Valve.
[21:22] ---
    Hello.
[21:23] ---
    I am Rocket Engine Valve.
[21:26] ---
    Huh? Momo?
[21:29] ---
    Jiji?
[21:33] ---
    Yo. You're finally here.
    I heard all about it from your mom.
[21:37] ---
    Huh? What? Why is he here?
[21:40] ---
    Who is that?
[21:41] ---
    That guy is Momo's childhood friend...
[21:50] ---
    and her first love.
[23:27] ---
    What is this feeling I have?
[23:28] ---
    Hey, you believe in aliens, right?
[23:30] ---
    That was a kappa
    no matter how you look at it.
[23:31] ---
    Takakura-kun called it a Dover Demon.
[23:34] ---
    I'm sure she's just shaken because
    she witnessed Cattle Mutilation!
[23:36] ---
    Next episode, "First Love."
SIGN    EPISODE 11 FIRST LOVE
[23:38] ---
    By the way, outside of alien theories,
    a kappa is called chupacabra in some regions.