DAN DA DAN

DAN DA DAN is a supernatural action-comedy anime based on Yukinobu Tatsu’s hit manga, blending ghosts, aliens, and teenage romance. When high schooler Momo, who comes from a family of spirit mediums and scoffs at aliens, meets occult-obsessed Okarun, who believes in extraterrestrials, their rivalry leads them to confront real paranormal threats. Momo awakens her spiritual powers, while Okarun gains a cursed ability, forcing them to team up against yokai, UFOs, and otherworldly chaos.

The series shines through its leads: pragmatic Momo, eccentric Okarun, and their endearing bond. With vibrant supporting characters and jaw-dropping creature designs and animation, the story balances humor, heart, and high-stakes battles.

Produced by Science SARU and directed by Fuga Yamashiro, DAN DA DAN debuted its 12-episode first season on October 4, 2024, featuring creature designs by Yoshimichi Kameda and a kinetic score by Kensuke Ushio. The second season premiered July 3, 2025, continuing the duo’s wild adventures. A must-watch for fans of supernatural action and quirky romance!

Season 1

1 - That's How Love Starts, Ya Know!
2 - That's a Space Alien, Ain't It?!
3 - It's a Granny vs. Granny Clash!
4 - Kicking Turbo Granny's Ass
5 - Like, Where Are Your Balls?!
6 - A Dangerous Woman Arrives
7 - To a Kinder World
8 - I've Got This Funny Feeling
9 - Merge! Serpo Dover Demon Nessie!
10 - Have You Ever Seen a Cattle Mutilation?
11 - First Love
12 - Let's Go to the Cursed House

Season 2

13 - Like, This Is the Legend of the Giant Snake
14 - The Evil Eye
15 - You Won't Get Away with This!
16 - That's, Like, Way Deadly
17 - We Can All Stay There Together!
18 - We Became a Family
19 - Feeling Kinda Gloomy
20 - You Can Do It, Okarun!
21 - I Want to Rebuild the House
22 - The Secret Art of Being Attractive
23 - Hey, it’s a Kaiju
24 - Clash! Space Kaiju vs. Giant Robot!

Season 1

1 - That's How Love Starts, Ya Know!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:30] ---
    Huh?
[01:31] ---
    I said, if you ain't lendin' me money,
    then no date today.
[01:37] ---
    Oh, but I'd be okay
    if you finally put out instead.
[01:41] ---
    You'll pay for the love hotel, though.
[01:50] ---
    You need to be punched!
[01:51] ---
    Why you little...
[01:56] ---
    You're full of it!
[01:58] ---
    I've had enough of you!
[02:01] ---
    Yer broke and ya ain't puttin' out!
    Get lost!
[02:04] ---
    Gimme a break, moron!
[02:06] ---
    Octopus! Squid! Tuna!
[02:10] ---
    Totes funny!
SIGN    EPISODE 1
    THAT'S HOW LOVE STARTS, YA KNOW!
[02:12] ---
    Seafood names aren't insults.
[02:14] ---
    Come on, comfort me!
    He was my first boyfriend.
[02:19] ---
    That's why I told you to not go for him.
[02:21] ---
    What was so good about him, anyway?
[02:23] ---
    He looked like Ken Takakura.
[02:25] ---
    - Oh, there you go.
    - You're so annoying.
[02:28] ---
    Nothing wrong with that!
    I like masculine guys like Ken Takakura!
[02:32] ---
    "I am an awkward fellow, after all."
[02:34] ---
    Dudes like that are extinct.
[02:40] ---
    What the heck.
[02:42] ---
    Will I not be able to meet
    another Mr. Ken in my lifetime?
[02:46] ---
    Come on, someone comfort me!
[02:50] ---
    Such a cruel world.
[02:55] ---
    - Damn it!
    - You missed?
[02:56] ---
    - I did miss.
    - Don't look over here. Gross.
[03:00] ---
    - We have this, too.
    - Nice.
[03:03] ---
    Put a magnet inside.
[03:05] ---
    This'll hurt, won't it?
[03:12] ---
    What are you reading there?
[03:15] ---
    Oh? Uh, um...
SIGN    BIRTH OF THE AEROSPACE SELF-DEFENSE FORCE GUARDING OUTER SPACE!!
[03:20] ---
    How lame.
[03:26] ---
    Do only scum live in this world?
[03:32] ---
    Man, I've had enough.
[03:35] ---
    Where can I relieve all this stress?
[03:38] ---
    Miss Momo Ayase!
[03:40] ---
    I know you're in love!
[03:42] ---
    Huh?
[03:43] ---
    I know you're in love!
[03:45] ---
    How many times you gonna say that?
[03:47] ---
    Someone like Miss Ayase talking to me?
    That's gotta be the only reason!
[03:52] ---
    Maybe you got the wrong idea?
[03:54] ---
    It's not like I wanna get
    chummy with you or anything.
[03:57] ---
    Forget all that earlier.
[03:58] ---
    This is what I'm talking about!
[04:00] ---
    The President has already gone to Mars!
    What is the entirety of Project Pegasus!?
[04:04] ---
    Huh? What?
[04:05] ---
    You're a fan of the occult!
[04:07] ---
    Oh, I don't believe in UFOs or aliens
    or stuff like that.
[04:11] ---
    I'm not talking about a UFO, but a UAP!
SIGN    PO
[04:13] ---
    Unidentified Aerial Phenomena!
[04:16] ---
    Hey, you're being a pest.
[04:18] ---
    The U.S. military has officially acknowledged
    the existence of UAPs and reformed the Space Force!
[04:23] ---
    Japan has also newly created
    an Aerospace Defense Force!
[04:25] ---
    Any way you look at it,
    they're getting ready for Space Wars!
[04:28] ---
    Can I go now?
[04:29] ---
    What?
[04:30] ---
    No, wait! This has the newest image
    of Nessie, too. Here!
[04:34] ---
    It also talks about Lieutenant Colonel
    Jim Channon and Skinwalker Ranch!
[04:39] ---
    Shut up!
[04:41] ---
    I just got dumped
    so I don't want any of this.
[04:45] ---
    How you push stuff at me is so typical
    of otaku and really annoying!
[04:48] ---
    That's why you have no friends!
[04:53] ---
    Don't talk to me like you know me.
[05:05] ---
    Sorry, that was a bit much.
SIGN    YOUR TRUE POWERS AND POTENTIAL HAVE YET TO AWAKEN...
[05:26] ---
    Here.
[05:30] ---
    I don't believe in aliens.
[05:32] ---
    But I do believe in ghosts.
[05:34] ---
    Oh no, there's no such thing as ghosts.
[05:37] ---
    I matched the conversation topic to yours,
    but you outright deny that!?
[05:41] ---
    Don't you mock the occult!
[05:47] ---
    Just so you know,
    my grandma is a spirit medium.
[05:50] ---
    What?
[05:51] ---
    Have you ever seen exorcism?
    It's really wicked!
[05:55] ---
    The possessed person goes into convulsions!
[05:58] ---
    You can go into convulsions from illness, too.
[06:00] ---
    It's not proof that ghosts are out there.
[06:03] ---
    Then have you ever had
    an alien let you ride a UFO!?
[06:06] ---
    Your logic is jumping too far!
    Are you an idiot!?
[06:12] ---
    Huh?
[06:14] ---
    She gave up on Ken Takakura
    and went after an otaku?
[06:17] ---
    Look. It's like she doesn't care
    what other people would think.
[06:20] ---
    Can't say I hate it.
[06:22] ---
    Then let's have a contest, dammit!
[06:25] ---
    If there really are ghosts,
    you'll be serving me as a gofer!
[06:28] ---
    I'll show you UFOs, I mean, UAPs!
[06:31] ---
    If you're able to see one, M-Miss Ayase,
    you'll be my gofer instead!
SIGN    NAGI GENERAL HOSPITAL
SIGN    OCCULT-KUN
[06:42] ---
    What is this place?
    It's way too scary!
[06:45] ---
    What part of this is a UFO hotspot?
[06:48] ---
    Nagi Hospital there is called
    the sanctuary for UFOs!
[06:52] ---
    If you call for a UFO on the roof,
    you will experience Abduction!
[06:55] ---
    What's Abduction?
[06:59] ---
    That's when an alien kidnaps you
    and experiments with your body.
[07:03] ---
    Wait, hold on! Have you been
    experimented on before!?
[07:06] ---
    There is a chance that I have!
[07:08] ---
    Huh?
[07:09] ---
    Many people who experience Abduction
    have their memories erased.
[07:12] ---
    Hey, you. You've never seen
    a UFO before, have you?
[07:15] ---
    Do you know about regressive hypnosis?
[07:17] ---
    Don't change the subject on me.
[07:19] ---
    It's not an issue
    of whether or not you've seen one!
[07:21] ---
    The point is whether or not
    there's proper proof that it exists!
[07:24] ---
    Shut up!
[07:25] ---
    Anyway, how are things on your end?
[07:32] ---
    I have arrived.
SIGN    KEEP OUT
[07:39] ---
    At the spiritual hotspot.
[07:44] ---
    Now, I'll go and prove it right now...
[07:47] ---
    that there are no such things as ghosts!
[07:49] ---
    Hey, you aren't freaking out, are you?
[07:52] ---
    By the way, that spot is famous on the 'net
    for something definitely being there.
[08:10] ---
    Too shy, shy boy, in this moment!
[08:14] ---
    They say speaking loudly
    is the most dangerous thing to do.
[08:17] ---
    Too shy, shy boy...
[08:19] ---
    On the 'net.
[08:20] ---
    You've been mentioning the 'net a lot.
[08:22] ---
    So have you seen a ghost, Miss Ayase?
[08:25] ---
    Nope.
[08:26] ---
    What?
[08:28] ---
    How dare you talk so authoritatively earlier!
[08:30] ---
    My bad!
[08:32] ---
    Take back that attitude
    you've been giving me!
[08:33] ---
    It's absurd that you've never
    seen a ghost but believe in them!
[08:37] ---
    It's not absurd.
[08:39] ---
    I told you my grandma's a spirit medium.
[08:43] ---
    I love my grandma a lot
    since I don't have parents.
[08:46] ---
    So, I see.
[08:50] ---
    Why are you getting all meek and stuff?
[08:53] ---
    Get a load of this.
    My family is seriously weird.
[08:58] ---
    I always had to perform
    a good luck ritual before stepping outside.
[09:02] ---
    I was always forced to do it
    the entire way to school.
[09:06] ---
    And of course,
    I was the laughingstock of all the boys.
[09:09] ---
    If I don't do it, Grandma got pissed.
    It was the pits.
[09:14] ---
    But the toughest part of it all...
[09:17] ---
    was when the boy I liked
    made fun of me.
[09:21] ---
    I really hated my grandma.
[09:23] ---
    "Because of that weird ritual,
    the boy I like hates me."
[09:28] ---
    I think I said something horrible
    like that to Grandma.
[09:32] ---
    Since then, I didn't talk to Grandma until recently,
    and I stopped doing the ritual.
[09:38] ---
    But you know, I get pissed when someone else
    makes fun of my family.
[09:45] ---
    That's when I realized...
[09:47] ---
    I didn't hate the fact that
    the boy I liked didn't like me.
[09:51] ---
    I hated the fact that the boy I liked
    made fun of my grandma.
[09:57] ---
    In reality, I loved both Grandma and her job
    as a spirit medium, because it felt special.
[10:03] ---
    How she decided to take me in,
    and lovingly raised me all by herself...
[10:08] ---
    I have faith in my grandma.
[10:11] ---
    That's why I believe in ghosts.
[10:15] ---
    So anyway, why do you believe in aliens?
[10:20] ---
    That really doesn't matter, right?
[10:23] ---
    What's with that?
    You don't have any reasons?
[10:25] ---
    Do you need a reason to like something?
[10:28] ---
    Well, you have a point.
[10:30] ---
    More like, Occult-kun,
    you sure talk bluntly over the phone.
[10:37] ---
    I-Is that so?
[10:40] ---
    Miss Ayase, you're pretty easy to talk to.
[10:52] ---
    I'll let you suckle my teats, so...
[10:56] ---
    lemme gobble that weenie.
[11:00] ---
    Ghost!
[11:01] ---
    Hold on! You shouldn't run there!
[11:04] ---
    Hey, Occult-kun!
[11:05] ---
    No way! Impossible!
    That was just an ordinary granny!
[11:06] ---
    Oc... kun... Stop right now!
[11:08] ---
    That's probably it. Just an ordinary granny!
[11:10] ---
    They say on the 'net she's bad news!
[11:15] ---
    I'm pretty sure I misunderstood something.
[11:17] ---
    I simply bumped into a lewd granny!
[11:21] ---
    They say you can't let her outrun you
    at any cost!
[11:25] ---
    If you lose a race against
    Turbo Granny, you'll be cursed!
SIGN    OCCULT-KUN
SIGN    OCCULT-KUN
[11:35] ---
    Hey, Occult-kun! Are you listening?
[11:37] ---
    Hello? Answer me!
[11:39] ---
    You're kidding me, right?
[11:41] ---
    I'll head over there right now!
    Just hang on!
[11:54] ---
    What are those things?
    Seriously, cut it out.
[12:05] ---
    Hello, woman person.
[12:08] ---
    We are Serpoians. We are called that
    because we come from the planet Serpo.
[12:13] ---
    Aliens?
[12:15] ---
    Don't be afraid. We are a friendly people.
[12:18] ---
    Friendly guys
    don't strip girls naked, you know!
[12:22] ---
    Where are my clothes?
[12:23] ---
    We have taken proper care
    of your belongings.
[12:26] ---
    They're all tattered! Pay for damages!
[12:28] ---
    And I wanna go home,
    so can you take this off?
[12:31] ---
    Our kind only has males.
[12:34] ---
    Thus, we reproduce
    through clone technology.
[12:37] ---
    Are you even listening?
[12:39] ---
    However, identical units
    do not instigate biological evolution.
[12:43] ---
    Conflict, as well as basic emotions,
    were annihilated.
[12:47] ---
    Therefore, for us to regain
    reproductive function similar to humans,
[12:50] ---
    we want your "bananas."
[12:54] ---
    We will now have sex.
[12:56] ---
    After having sex with you, we will extract
    your uterus and your banana for research.
[13:00] ---
    Gimme a break!
[13:01] ---
    I did date a douchebag,
    but I didn't let him take my virginity!
[13:06] ---
    My chastity has been saved
    for a Ken Takakura I have yet to meet!
[13:09] ---
    No way some creepy alien
    is gonna take it from me!
[13:19] ---
    In order to arouse your desire, we will use
    psychokinesis to control your brain waves.
[13:26] ---
    How is it? Isn't the temperature
    of your body getting warmer?
[13:35] ---
    What's this?
    She is resisting the psychokinesis.
[13:38] ---
    What incredible spiritual power.
[13:40] ---
    However...
[13:42] ---
    Let us begin.
[13:43] ---
    No...
[13:45] ---
    Stop!
[13:52] ---
    A phone call?
[13:53] ---
    Someone sure has
    a really bad sense of timing.
[14:23] ---
    Miss Ayase! I'm sorry!
[14:25] ---
    There was a ghost!
[14:27] ---
    Turbo Granny has cursed me!
[14:30] ---
    Occult-kun! I'm glad!
    Can you help me?
[14:33] ---
    Who are you?
[14:34] ---
    Infiltrating using a smartphone.
    Not even we have technology like that.
[14:38] ---
    Please help! I can't control myself!
[14:45] ---
    Lemme gobble that weenie!
[14:47] ---
    Come on, get a grip!
[14:49] ---
    Man person over there.
[14:50] ---
    We did not authorize your intrusion.
[14:53] ---
    Leave immediately, or else...
[15:00] ---
    Please give us your "banana."
[15:02] ---
    Gross!
[15:02] ---
    Six Sense Organs!
[15:06] ---
    So fast! I cannot set my psychokinesis.
[15:11] ---
    Our cherished bananas!
[15:14] ---
    You banana thief!
[15:15] ---
    Serpoian Form Serpo-Grammetry!
[15:19] ---
    Occult-kun!
[15:20] ---
    We have never encountered
    someone so aggressive.
[15:23] ---
    We have an amiable relationship
    with humans. So give us your bananas.
[15:28] ---
    I'll give it to you! Anything if it's mine!
[15:30] ---
    I've been wanting to see aliens
    for the longest time!
[15:33] ---
    Because I didn't have any friends,
    I thought at least aliens would be my friends.
[15:38] ---
    I've been calling to the skies
    for a UFO since grade school!
[15:44] ---
    But you never came!
[15:46] ---
    No matter how much I called for you,
    you never showed up!
[15:50] ---
    Other humans bullied me to pass their time.
SIGN    COURAGE
[15:53] ---
    Aliens don't give me the time of day.
[15:55] ---
    Nobody ever acknowledged my existence.
[15:59] ---
    But Miss Ayase....
[16:01] ---
    She actually stood up for me, despite that!
[16:04] ---
    So don't you lay a finger on her!
[16:08] ---
    I won't allow anyone to hurt her!
[16:12] ---
    If it's for her sake,
    I'll even become a monster!
[16:17] ---
    Keep at it, Occult-kun!
[16:19] ---
    Show 'em what a man you are!
[16:21] ---
    Fie!
[16:24] ---
    Miss Ayase...
[16:25] ---
    It looks impossible after all.
[16:27] ---
    You gave up really fast there!
[16:30] ---
    We cannot become friends
    with a violent person like you.
[16:34] ---
    Besides, we like woman persons
    more than man persons.
[16:39] ---
    Now, once again,
    I shall arouse your desire.
[16:47] ---
    Take your chi out.
[16:48] ---
    I don't wanna.
[16:49] ---
    My friends make fun of me
    every single day because of that.
[16:54] ---
    What are you talking about?
[16:55] ---
    If you have your chi out,
    you won't get hurt or sick.
[16:58] ---
    Bad things can't get near you.
[17:01] ---
    First, firm up your lower abs.
[17:06] ---
    Imagine having your chi shoot up
    from the top of your head.
[17:11] ---
    She's doing it again!
[17:12] ---
    Is she communicating
    with aliens or something?
[17:16] ---
    I hate it! I'm never doing it again!
[17:18] ---
    Momo! Hold on!
[17:20] ---
    I hate you, Grandma!
    You fake spirit medium!
[17:26] ---
    Why am I remembering the past right now?
[17:30] ---
    I'm sorry, Grandma.
    I just felt embarrassed back then.
[17:36] ---
    Firm up your lower abs.
[17:41] ---
    Chi shoot up from the top of your head.
[17:48] ---
    No way!
[17:49] ---
    What?
[17:50] ---
    Miss Ayase, you can use psychic powers?
[17:53] ---
    Well, I'm surprised by that myself!
[17:55] ---
    Unbelievable!
    My psychokinesis is being pushed back!
[17:59] ---
    Why?
[18:00] ---
    Did I stimulate her brain waves too much
    and cause the woman person's chakra to open up?
[18:06] ---
    She was real.
[18:07] ---
    Grandma was a real spirit medium!
[18:10] ---
    Thank you, Grandma!
[18:12] ---
    With this I can take those scumbags...
[18:16] ---
    and send them flying!
[18:33] ---
    What is this? That was a UFO?
[18:36] ---
    Occult-kun, are you okay?
[18:37] ---
    Let's get outta here!
[18:43] ---
    Ow! What are you doing, idiot!
    Regain your sanity already!
[18:48] ---
    Damn you!
[18:56] ---
    Turbo Granny?
[18:57] ---
    Who the hell are you?
[19:03] ---
    His curse hasn't lifted!
[19:05] ---
    Granny is out of his body, though!
[19:07] ---
    I have possession of that kid's weenie.
[19:10] ---
    As long as I have his weenie,
    that kid's curse won't be lifted.
[19:15] ---
    If you want it back,
    come to the tunnel.
[19:18] ---
    This place is too far for me.
[19:20] ---
    I'll take you on as much as you want
    if it's in the tunnel, gaudy hag.
[19:25] ---
    Who you calling a gaudy hag,
    you old bag of crap!
[19:27] ---
    Give him back his thingy!
[19:32] ---
    Crap! If we don't escape,
    we're gonna die!
[19:35] ---
    Get a grip, you idiot!
    We're gonna escape!
[19:58] ---
    This is the worst.
[20:01] ---
    I'll believe in aliens.
    Like, I was kidnapped and all.
[20:05] ---
    I'll believe in ghosts, too.
    I got cursed after all.
[20:08] ---
    So, what should we do from here?
[20:11] ---
    What should we do?
[20:13] ---
    You lose control of yourself if I don't
    hold the curse back with psychic powers.
[20:17] ---
    I'm sorry.
[20:17] ---
    I lost my uniform, my wallet,
    my smartphone. Everything.
[20:22] ---
    How can I be lifted from this curse?
[20:25] ---
    You have to beat the crap out of Turbo Granny.
    She's the cause of the curse.
[20:29] ---
    I see. Then I'll head on over there.
[20:33] ---
    Huh? Right now?
[20:36] ---
    Miss Ayase, please wear
    my clothes back home.
[20:39] ---
    Hold on! You'll lose control without me!
[20:45] ---
    All of this happened
    because of what I did.
[20:50] ---
    I can't get you involved
    in it anymore, Miss Ayase.
[20:53] ---
    I'll use willpower to make it to the tunnel,
    and then make it work somehow.
[20:58] ---
    Why can't you ask me to come with you?
[21:01] ---
    After that experience earlier,
    I can't leave you alone!
[21:03] ---
    You would've died earlier if I wasn't around!
[21:08] ---
    Is it okay for you
    to help someone like me?
[21:12] ---
    Stuff like that is such a hassle.
[21:22] ---
    Come on, put some clothes on.
[21:26] ---
    Let's go!
[21:28] ---
    I'm sorry.
[21:29] ---
    I am an awkward fellow, after all.
[21:33] ---
    Miss Ayase, please put some clothes on.
[21:35] ---
    If you don't, I can't bring myself
    to speak properly.
[21:39] ---
    No way. Why is my heart racing?
[21:42] ---
    This can't be.
[21:44] ---
    I was just surprised because he happened
    to recite one of Ken Takakura's lines.
[21:48] ---
    I need to calm down for now.
[21:53] ---
    By the way, what's your name?
[21:55] ---
    I'm terrible at remembering names.
[21:58] ---
    Oh? Um...
[22:00] ---
    I'm Ken Takakura.
SIGN    DAN
SIGN    DAN DA
SIGN    DAN DA DAN
[23:42] ---
    Aliens really did exist!
[23:44] ---
    Ghosts exist, too!
[23:45] ---
    The existence of aliens and ghosts
    being proven means that
[23:48] ---
    there's a possibility of supernatural
    phenomena, UMA,
[23:49] ---
    and all other things that were said to be absurd
    can be proven as well.
[23:50] ---
    Oh, fine, I get it! Ready.
SIGN    EPISODE 2 THAT'S A SPACE ALIEN, AIN'T IT?
[23:52] ---
    Next episode,
    "That's a Space Alien, Ain't It?!"
[23:53] ---
    Next episode,
    "That's a Space Alien, Ain't It?!"
[23:55] ---
    Hey, be in sync with me!

Season 1

2 - That's a Space Alien, Ain't It?!

Season 1

3 - It's a Granny vs. Granny Clash!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    Your age is 27?
[00:04] ---
    I'm 20.
[00:05] ---
    You have a wife and child?
[00:06] ---
    I live alone.
[00:08] ---
    You like curry?
[00:09] ---
    I like ramen.
SIGN    CAN PSYCHIC POWERS EXPOSE?
[00:15] ---
    Santa Dodoria sure is something.
[00:17] ---
    So flamboyantly wrong.
[00:19] ---
    There's no way such a young idol
    could have a wife and a kid.
[00:22] ---
    Even I can see that.
[00:24] ---
    Is it okay to air that as-is?
[00:27] ---
    Should be okay.
[00:28] ---
    Nobody would be so pissed off
    at a local program like this one.
SIGN    VACANT
SIGN    CARRYING PASSENGERS
[00:44] ---
    You're Santa Dodoria, aren't you?
[00:47] ---
    I saw you on TV the other day.
[00:50] ---
    Do you really have psychic powers?
[00:53] ---
    Here's fine. Drop me off.
[00:56] ---
    Huh?
[00:59] ---
    It's not like I'm trying to insult you
    or anything. I just wanted you to show me.
[01:04] ---
    If you don't wanna die,
    hurry on and scram.
[01:34] ---
    Come on now, I thought you brought over
    yet another scumbag.
[01:39] ---
    But this one isn't even human.
[01:41] ---
    Sheesh. My grandkid
    only brings problems in.
[01:45] ---
    My skin's gonna get dry from all the stress.
[01:50] ---
    Come on. Bring it on.
SIGN    EPISODE 3
    IT'S A GRANNY VS. GRANNY CLASH!
[03:32] ---
    That was close! You're super fast!
[03:35] ---
    But things happened just as I predicted.
[03:39] ---
    I thought you'd come around
    to my blind spot.
[03:43] ---
    You fell into the trap
    that I had set up beforehand.
[03:51] ---
    If you cross that line, you'll die.
[03:55] ---
    That's a barrier right there.
[03:59] ---
    When you drive a warding nail
    inside this circle,
[04:02] ---
    the inside of the circle
    turns into a barrier.
[04:04] ---
    But if you drive it outside the circle, the area
    outside of the circle becomes the barrier.
[04:09] ---
    The reason you couldn't touch me
    was because I was protected by a barrier.
[04:25] ---
    I'll make sure to eat and kill you.
[04:28] ---
    Don't think you can keep me trapped forever.
[04:32] ---
    I don't wanna trap you.
    I wanna kill you.
[04:44] ---
    Come on, stand your ground, will ya?
[04:46] ---
    You're gonna cross that line!
[04:51] ---
    What's wrong?
[04:52] ---
    When you're in there, you can't make use
    of your speed that you're so proud of.
[04:56] ---
    You scummy old hag!
[04:58] ---
    Did an old hag just call
    another old hag a scummy old hag?
[05:02] ---
    That pisses me off.
[05:07] ---
    If you burn me,
    this guy that I cursed will die, too.
[05:14] ---
    I'll kill off all scumbags
    who deceive my grandkid.
[05:18] ---
    Even if they're human.
[05:23] ---
    Bye.
[05:24] ---
    Scummy old hag!
[05:38] ---
    Okarun!
[05:41] ---
    Hey, you were home?
[05:42] ---
    Shut up. I'm watching
    "Bakatono."
[05:46] ---
    Anyway, I have something
    to talk about with you.
[05:49] ---
    You went to a spiritual hotspot?
[05:53] ---
    I did.
[05:54] ---
    Not me, but a friend.
[05:57] ---
    Why?
[05:59] ---
    "Why?"
[06:00] ---
    Because we were talking
    and that's how things ended up.
[06:07] ---
    "Bakatono"
    is Japan's national treasure.
[06:09] ---
    Hey, were you listening?
[06:12] ---
    Anyway, did you see a guy?
[06:13] ---
    He'll be in big trouble
    if I'm not around!
[06:17] ---
    If you're talking about the evil spirit,
    I killed it.
[06:21] ---
    An evil spirit? What kind?
    Did it have glasses on?
[06:25] ---
    Come on, you don't even believe
    in ghosts.
[06:31] ---
    Besides, I'm a fake spirit medium.
[06:37] ---
    How long are you gonna hold
    that grudge, you scummy old hag.
[06:39] ---
    Something really bad might happen,
    so just answer me!
[06:43] ---
    Stop it. Don't believe in those stories.
[06:46] ---
    There are no evil spirits,
    and I'm a fake.
[06:55] ---
    Grandma.
[07:01] ---
    I'm sorry. I was wrong.
[07:04] ---
    So please tell me.
    What did you do to the evil spirit?
[07:09] ---
    Head over to the main shrine.
[07:11] ---
    Scummy old hag!
[07:13] ---
    If something's wrong with Okarun,
    I'll never forgive you!
[07:18] ---
    I didn't want to miss my chance.
[07:21] ---
    He was just an occult freak
    who simply wanted friends.
[07:25] ---
    It's my fault.
[07:27] ---
    Because I forced him
    to go to that place!
[07:30] ---
    I'm sorry, Okarun!
[07:32] ---
    Okarun!
[07:38] ---
    Miss Ayase! I'm so glad!
[07:40] ---
    I thought that I'd murdered you
    or something.
[07:44] ---
    Huh?
[07:45] ---
    Wait. Miss Ayase?
[07:47] ---
    Miss Ayase?
[07:49] ---
    You're still alive and well,
    scumbag four-eyes!
[07:52] ---
    What? What's up with that?
[07:53] ---
    Well, I’m sorry I'm still alive!
[07:58] ---
    I'm so irritated.
[08:06] ---
    Since when have you
    started being friends with monsters?
[08:09] ---
    You scared me!
[08:11] ---
    The curse won't kick in
    as long as he's in there.
[08:13] ---
    But one step outside,
    and he's back to a monster.
[08:17] ---
    What was that about killing him off?
    You lied to me.
[08:20] ---
    You seemed pretty desperate.
    You into brats like that?
[08:25] ---
    No way!
[08:27] ---
    Turbo Granny took his you-know-what.
[08:30] ---
    And she told me that as long as she has it,
    his curse won't be lifted.
[08:35] ---
    I'm responsible for what happened to him,
    so I just want to do something about it.
[08:40] ---
    Oh, I see. So you do like him.
[08:42] ---
    I didn't say that!
[08:44] ---
    Anyway, I can use psychic powers now.
[08:48] ---
    What the hell are you talkin' about?
[08:50] ---
    I went to this place where UFOs show up.
[08:52] ---
    A lot of stuff happened there,
    and now I can use powers.
[08:55] ---
    But UFOs don't exist.
[08:57] ---
    I totally get that reaction.
    I was just like that until yesterday.
[09:02] ---
    Anyway, it's true
    that I can use psychic powers now.
[09:05] ---
    And if I'm not holding back
    Okarun's curse with it, he goes wild.
[09:08] ---
    I'm sure psychic powers exist.
[09:10] ---
    I don't know what your criteria
    for believing stuff is.
[09:13] ---
    Anyway, Turbo Granny, huh?
[09:17] ---
    You sure got your hands
    on a troublesome one.
[09:20] ---
    In the past, she used to be called
    Hundred Kilo Granny.
[09:23] ---
    She's a modern yokai monster that
    wreaked havoc all over the country.
[09:27] ---
    And I heard such an elusive entity
    had been dwelling for some time in that tunnel.
[09:33] ---
    I went over there once to check things out.
SIGN    KEEP OUT
[09:37] ---
    It was most strange.
[09:39] ---
    I couldn't even get near the tunnel
[09:41] ---
    because of just how strong
    the spiritual power was.
[09:45] ---
    You know about location-bound spirits?
[09:48] ---
    They're spirits that stay in particular locations
    that they have strong attachments to.
[09:53] ---
    They're basically the strongest
    within their territories.
[09:57] ---
    No spirit medium would go up
    against a location-bound spirit.
[10:03] ---
    There was a location-bound spirit
    inside that tunnel.
[10:08] ---
    Do you know what that means?
[10:14] ---
    Turbo Granny and that location-bound spirit
    had fused together.
[10:23] ---
    Don't try to fight against it.
[10:26] ---
    I don't want to lose my dear grandchild.
[10:32] ---
    You're not directly involved with it, either.
[10:35] ---
    So forget about him.
[10:39] ---
    You should return to everyday life.
[10:43] ---
    I wonder what the Ken-san I love
    would do in times like this.
[10:48] ---
    When I can't decide, that's what I think.
[10:52] ---
    I've never had regrets by choosing this way.
[10:54] ---
    And if this was Ken-san,
    I'm 100% positive he'd go in and help.
[10:59] ---
    So that's what I'm gonna do!
[11:02] ---
    Ken-san, you say?
[11:05] ---
    - You're totally in love with that kid!
    - No, that's not what I mean!
[11:07] ---
    I wasn't talking about him!
[11:09] ---
    Hey, she's confessing your love to you.
    How do you feel?
[11:12] ---
    I told you that's not what I mean!
    I'm talking about the actor!
[11:15] ---
    Looks like I got no choice
    if you're gonna go that far.
[11:20] ---
    Go play tag with Turbo Granny.
[11:23] ---
    That thing has absolute confidence
    in its running.
[11:26] ---
    A few random taunts
    and it's sure to take the challenge.
[11:29] ---
    Now this is where the problem starts.
[11:31] ---
    The location-bound spirit's territory
    is all of Shono City.
[11:34] ---
    You have to lure Turbo Granny outside
    of the city without getting caught.
[11:38] ---
    If you can drag it away from its territory,
[11:40] ---
    it will get weak and even you guys
    will be able to defeat it.
[11:45] ---
    Oh no, look at these feeble legs.
[11:47] ---
    There's no way in hell
    I can play tag against Turbo Granny.
[11:50] ---
    Instead of doing something like that,
[11:52] ---
    can't you make something
    like those barriers and deal with it?
SIGN    PEACEFUL PROSPEROUS FAMILY WARD AGAINST EVIL AND MISFORTUNE
[11:54] ---
    Like putting one up at the tunnel.
[11:58] ---
    I can't do that.
[12:00] ---
    I can't help out to begin with.
[12:02] ---
    Huh? What's up with that?
SIGN    KAMIGOE CITY
[12:03] ---
    My barrier spells only borrow the powers
    of the gods that live on this land.
[12:08] ---
    Once we leave Kamigoe City where we live,
    I can't use these powers.
[12:13] ---
    Oh, so we have our own territory, too.
[12:15] ---
    All lands have their own gods.
[12:18] ---
    The problem is whether you're playing
    a home or an away game.
[12:21] ---
    In any case, this is the only way
    to defeat Turbo Granny.
[12:24] ---
    If you start physically training now,
[12:26] ---
    you should be able to become
    fast enough to run away from her.
[12:28] ---
    Are you seriously saying that?
[12:30] ---
    No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't even
    make it to the prefecture finals for track meets!
[12:34] ---
    I'm not talking about you.
[12:36] ---
    Huh?
[12:37] ---
    - I'm talking about him.
    - Oh, I see!
[12:40] ---
    You're finally including me
    into the conversation?
[12:43] ---
    Sorry, I forgot.
[12:45] ---
    But Okarun, you have no stamina.
[12:47] ---
    None at all.
[12:48] ---
    And I have to keep control over your curse.
[12:51] ---
    Then he needs to run piggy-backing Momo.
[12:53] ---
    Miss Ayase, how much do you weigh?
[12:55] ---
    Hey, do ya wanna die?
[12:57] ---
    Oh no, it's just impossible!
[12:59] ---
    My limit for going full strength
    in cursed mode is about twice!
[13:02] ---
    Right!
[13:04] ---
    Then train so that you can
    always be at full strength.
[13:06] ---
    Get to it. Push-ups, sit-ups, back extensions,
    and squats. Five sets, 100 reps each.
[13:10] ---
    - Huh?
    - Do it.
[13:11] ---
    And Momo, same goes
    for your psychic powers.
[13:14] ---
    You need to power it up
    more than what it is now.
[13:19] ---
    As I can't be of any help,
    you guys simply have to get stronger.
[13:24] ---
    So I will be training the two of you.
[13:27] ---
    Go to sleep for today.
    We'll start tomorrow.
[13:30] ---
    Four-eyes, start your physical training
    right now.
[13:32] ---
    Oh, okay.
[13:35] ---
    Your granny is so young.
[13:38] ---
    Isn't she annoying?
[13:43] ---
    Miss Ayase, I'm so sorry.
[13:47] ---
    When I fought that big thing,
[13:50] ---
    I was honestly too desperate
    to think of anyone other than myself.
[13:54] ---
    I'm really sorry.
[13:56] ---
    Oh, there's nothing
    you could've done about that.
[13:58] ---
    But Miss Ayase, you were different.
[14:01] ---
    You saved me and defeated the monster.
[14:05] ---
    But if something like that happens again,
    I'll do my best so that I can save you.
[14:12] ---
    So please don't be disappointed with me.
[14:15] ---
    Please, don't stop being a friend.
[14:20] ---
    I wouldn't be disappointed.
    You're overthinking.
[14:25] ---
    Then why did you slam the door earlier?
[14:28] ---
    W-Well, that was...
[14:29] ---
    See, there you go!
    You really were disappointed!
[14:32] ---
    I said I wasn't!
[14:34] ---
    But like, I am right now!
    You're such a pain!
[14:37] ---
    I'm sorry.
[14:39] ---
    You were pretty awesome
    when you were fighting.
[14:43] ---
    But you're kinda dense, Okarun.
    I'll probably be saving you next time, too!
[14:50] ---
    You sleep there for today.
[14:51] ---
    I'll bring you a futon right now.
[14:58] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[15:01] ---
    Um, well...
[15:06] ---
    I'm...
[15:09] ---
    really thirsty,
    so can I have some water?
[15:14] ---
    Can I take this barley tea?
[15:17] ---
    Sure thing.
[15:19] ---
    We have some shocking news
    that just came in!
SIGN    NEWS FLASH! SHOMA (20) SECRET CHILD SCANDAL SHOCKING - POPULAR IDOL SHOMA (20) MAY HAVE A SECRET CHILD. AGENCY HAS ADMITTED.
[15:21] ---
    It came out into the open
    that popular idol Shoma had a secret child!
[15:25] ---
    And his age wasn't 20, but actually 27!
[15:29] ---
    They need to correct his favorite food
    from ramen to curry, too!
SIGN    NEWS FLASH - SHOMA (20) SECRET CHILD FOUND
[15:35] ---
    Furthermore...
[15:35] ---
    ...he and his partner...
SIGN    [LIVE] EMERGENCY SHOMA (20) A SECRET CHILD?
[15:37] ---
    ...have not...
SIGN    BROADCAST SHOMA (20) SECRET CHILD PRESS CONFERENCE
[15:37] ---
    ...formally submitted...
SIGN    POPULAR IDOL'S SECRET CHILD FOUND SHOMA (20) ADMITS
[15:38] ---
    ...a marriage license.
SIGN    NEWS FLASH! POPULAR IDOL'S SHOCKING TRUTH... AGENCY HOLDS EMERGENCY CONFERENCE
[15:44] ---
    I couldn't care less about that news.
[15:48] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[15:50] ---
    Crap! Okarun wants to go
    to the bathroom!
[15:54] ---
    Just go.
[15:55] ---
    No, but this is seriously bad news!
[15:57] ---
    If something blocks my view and
    I can't see Okarun, my spell on him breaks!
[16:01] ---
    In other words, I have to watch Okarun
    as he relieves himself!
[16:04] ---
    Then watch him.
[16:05] ---
    I'd never want to watch!
[16:07] ---
    Who would show you, anyway?
[16:09] ---
    That tramples upon someone else's dignity!
[16:11] ---
    Hey! Don't look away!
[16:16] ---
    Don't you have any good ideas?
[16:18] ---
    Dunno.
[16:19] ---
    How the hell are you holding
    the curse back to begin with, anyway?
[16:23] ---
    Let's see...
[16:24] ---
    How do I put it...
[16:25] ---
    It's like I can see an aura around Okarun.
[16:28] ---
    An aura?
[16:29] ---
    And when I crush that aura
    with my hands, the aura shrinks.
[16:35] ---
    And the curse subsides, I guess?
[16:38] ---
    Everyone has some kind of aura,
    and they come in all sorts of colors.
[16:41] ---
    I see them on the trees
    and rocks there too.
[16:44] ---
    I can grab all those auras and move them
    at my will, though only in a small area.
[16:49] ---
    I see. I thought psychic powers
    were a lot more omnipotent.
[16:53] ---
    Sounds like it's quite limited.
[16:57] ---
    It was a lot more amazing the moment
    the powers awoke inside of me.
[17:01] ---
    That was when everything I imagined
    turned into reality, like I was invincible!
[17:06] ---
    But that went away real quick.
    I can only grab auras and stuff now.
[17:11] ---
    Momo, close your eyes for a bit.
[17:13] ---
    No way. If I do that,
    my spell will be lifted.
[17:16] ---
    Basically, the problem
    is the reliance on your vision.
[17:19] ---
    Try using all of your senses, such as touch.
[17:23] ---
    The fact that you can grab the aura
    means that it's tactile.
[17:27] ---
    So close those eyes
    and try feeling the aura with your skin.
[17:33] ---
    Slowly, feel it around you.
[17:40] ---
    So cold.
[17:42] ---
    How am I doing?
[17:43] ---
    Yeah.
[17:45] ---
    He's transformed.
[17:46] ---
    No good.
[17:47] ---
    Well, crap.
[17:48] ---
    That really pushed me close to the limit!
    I won't last much longer!
[17:52] ---
    What are you gonna do, Momo?
    He's gonna poop any moment.
[17:55] ---
    You're the one who told me to try that!
[17:56] ---
    I don't want to be watched
    as I relieve myself!
[17:59] ---
    But I wanna pee in my pants even less!
[18:02] ---
    Hold on!
[18:03] ---
    I'm gonna borrow your bathro—
[18:06] ---
    You've got some nerve to take a dump
    in someone else's house, punk!
[18:10] ---
    I'm pretty desperate too, you know!
[18:12] ---
    Why you little...
[18:13] ---
    Who said they'd lend you the bathroom?
[18:14] ---
    Are you an absolute idiot?
    I can piss right here if you want!
[18:17] ---
    Let me in on this too!
[18:19] ---
    Don't think you can run faster
    than me in this house!
[18:21] ---
    Outta my way!
    Or you'll have a disaster!
[18:23] ---
    Not bad, Ken Takakura!
[18:25] ---
    This one is mine!
[18:26] ---
    Not letting you!
[18:31] ---
    This is humiliating.
[18:33] ---
    Says you.
[18:34] ---
    I had looked forward to experiences
    unknown until now,
[18:37] ---
    like getting abducted by aliens.
[18:40] ---
    Seriously?
[18:41] ---
    But this is just too much.
[18:43] ---
    I want to hurry up
    and be released from this curse.
[18:46] ---
    Momo, you said that you were invincible
    when your powers first awoke.
[18:51] ---
    Yeah.
[18:52] ---
    That's likely your original power.
[18:55] ---
    And it seems for some reason,
    that power has been sealed off.
[18:58] ---
    What's with that? It sounds kinda cool.
[19:00] ---
    It's a pain in the butt.
[19:02] ---
    You have to unleash it
    bit by bit through training,
[19:06] ---
    and we don't know
    how long that will take.
[19:08] ---
    Though it's okay because it looks like
    that boy's physical makeover will take some time.
[19:12] ---
    I have to be watched while going
    to the bathroom for a while?
[19:15] ---
    That's my line...
[19:19] ---
    Grandma, it's here! Turbo Granny!
[19:21] ---
    Grandma?
[19:22] ---
    Grandma?
[19:24] ---
    Damn you! What the hell
    are you doing to Grandma?
[19:27] ---
    I'm letting her choose her cause of death.
    A heart attack or a stroke.
[19:33] ---
    My curse is contagious through this brat.
[19:38] ---
    Any human this brat sees,
    I can curse to death.
[19:42] ---
    Don't underestimate me.
    I'm not gonna give you any time.
[19:48] ---
    Come to the tunnel tonight.
[19:50] ---
    Otherwise, I'll use this brat to curse
    everyone around there to death.
[19:55] ---
    That's tonight.
[19:57] ---
    Got that?
[20:02] ---
    A nosebleed...
[20:03] ---
    Grandma!
[20:04] ---
    What's this?
[20:06] ---
    You're bleeding from your ears, too!
[20:07] ---
    Does your head hurt or something?
[20:10] ---
    Momo. Let's hear about what just happened.
[20:15] ---
    Am I seriously wearing this?
[20:16] ---
    It's hard to see in front of me.
[20:18] ---
    That's a bulletproof vest
    against evil spirits.
[20:21] ---
    Make sure to keep them on.
[20:23] ---
    If you let your guard down,
    you'll die quite easily.
[20:25] ---
    I know that! Despite how we look,
    we did defeat aliens!
[20:29] ---
    There's no such thing as aliens.
    Quit horsing around.
[20:33] ---
    Oh, okay.
[20:35] ---
    You bring all the trouble home in the first place
    because you're like that.
[20:40] ---
    You've never listened to me
    ever since you were a little kid.
[20:42] ---
    Man, so annoying!
    The old hag's nagging is annoying.
[20:46] ---
    Let's go, Okarun.
[20:51] ---
    Momo!
[20:52] ---
    What now? You're so naggy.
[21:00] ---
    Don't die.
[21:03] ---
    Yeah.
[21:10] ---
    I beg of you.
[21:12] ---
    Please, protect those two.
[21:17] ---
    Why are we going by train?
[21:19] ---
    It's too far by bicycle!
[21:20] ---
    And you don't want to use up your stamina
    before we get there!
[21:23] ---
    You seriously aren't getting off
    the hook, Turbo Granny!
[21:26] ---
    - I'm sorry, this is all for...
    - No way!
[21:31] ---
    That hag tried to hurt something dear to me!
[21:35] ---
    I'm gonna beat Turbo Granny into a pulp!
[23:11] ---
    Hold on, Miss Ayase!
    You shouldn't do that here!
[23:14] ---
    I want to hurry up and take these off.
[23:16] ---
    Is it okay to do that?
[23:17] ---
    It's a battle uniform to protect yourself
    from evil spirits, right?
[23:21] ---
    Your grandmother said keep it on.
[23:22] ---
    Who the hell would wear something like that?
[23:26] ---
    Fashion is the battle uniform for gyarus!
[23:29] ---
    I can't get hyped up unless I wear
    the clothes I want to wear!
[23:34] ---
    Why are you smiling?
[23:36] ---
    Isn't this kinda fun?
[23:37] ---
    Not at all. I feel like I'm about to puke.
[23:42] ---
    Who's a gaudy old hag, ya scummy old hag!
[23:44] ---
    What's got into you?
[23:45] ---
    Turbo Granny called me
    a gaudy old hag the other day!
[23:47] ---
    Huh? That really happened?
[23:48] ---
    You were kinda crazy
    from that curse, Okarun!
[23:50] ---
    All right, let's go!
[23:52] ---
    Next episode,
    "Kicking Turbo Granny's Ass."
SIGN    EPISODE 4 KICKING TURBO GRANNY'S ASS
[23:54] ---
    But in the end,
    it's a bit embarrassing to go by train.

Season 1

4 - Kicking Turbo Granny's Ass

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    KEEP OUT
SIGN    EPISODE 4
    KICKING TURBO GRANNY'S ASS
[00:10] ---
    Okarun, you first.
[00:12] ---
    I believe it's ladies first, actually.
[00:14] ---
    But see, I'm so teary-eyed.
[00:15] ---
    They're bone dry.
[00:17] ---
    It's only fair to go side-by-side!
[00:22] ---
    Hey! Okarun, you're behind me!
[00:25] ---
    Argh, that's not fair, Miss Ayase!
    Now you're behind me!
[00:28] ---
    - Damn you!
    - Wait! Hold on, stop it!
[00:33] ---
    - Let's go.
    - Okay.
[00:34] ---
    So what were we going to do again
    when Turbo Granny shows up? Punch her?
[00:38] ---
    No! We're luring her outside of Shono City
    to separate her from the location-bound spirit!
[00:42] ---
    That way, she'll weaken,
    and even we can defeat her.
[00:46] ---
    That's right, that's right.
[00:48] ---
    But we defeated that giant alien already,
    so maybe we can defeat her, too?
[00:53] ---
    You were scared just now.
[00:56] ---
    I mean, she's a granny!
[00:57] ---
    After experiencing something
    that huge, a granny...
[01:01] ---
    So huge!
[01:03] ---
    Wh-What should we do, Miss Ayase!?
[01:05] ---
    Calm down!
    You just mentioned it just now!
[01:07] ---
    We're leaving Shono City, right?
[01:08] ---
    Let's go!
[01:10] ---
    What!?
[01:14] ---
    No way! Is this legit?
[01:15] ---
    She's coming this way!
[01:17] ---
    I'm borrowing this!
[01:19] ---
    I should be able to do it. Go!
[01:25] ---
    Her eyes are mouth! So gross!
[01:28] ---
    Miss Ayase, please unleash the curse!
[01:30] ---
    I'll make something out of this!
[01:31] ---
    - Got it! Counting on you!
    - Okay! I'll do my best!
[01:37] ---
    Man, no good. I don't think I can do it.
[01:40] ---
    I am utterly useless...
[01:42] ---
    Oh, that's right,
    you become a total downer.
[01:45] ---
    I'll cheer for you, so go do your best!
    Fight on!
[01:48] ---
    I'll be crushed to death
    from that pressure...
[01:53] ---
    No way!
[01:54] ---
    Miss Ayase? What's going on?
[01:56] ---
    Why? I can't see it!
[01:58] ---
    The power of the curse is gone?
[02:00] ---
    I returned his weenie to him.
[02:02] ---
    The curse is no longer.
[02:04] ---
    What a surprise!
[02:05] ---
    I didn't expect you to use
    the power of the curse to transform!
[02:10] ---
    But I won't let you do it.
[02:12] ---
    You thieving pig!
    I won't let you use my power!
[02:17] ---
    I'm going to thoroughly chew
    and eat you up!
[02:22] ---
    Taunt her.
[02:23] ---
    That thing has absolute confidence
    in its running.
[02:26] ---
    A few random taunts
    and it's sure to take the challenge.
[02:29] ---
    Are you that scared of losing
    in a race?
[02:32] ---
    Such brute force is so unfashionable.
[02:35] ---
    I mean, your name is Turbo Granny, right?
[02:37] ---
    There's no way you'd pass a race
    to show off how fast you can run.
[02:40] ---
    If you're really Turbo...
[02:42] ---
    then challenge us with how fast you can run!
[02:52] ---
    You...
[02:54] ---
    Who do you think
    you're mouthing off to, huh?
[02:57] ---
    There's no way I'd lose in a running match.
[03:00] ---
    Fine. I'll accept your challenge.
[03:03] ---
    Besides, I can eat you two at any point.
[03:06] ---
    What are the rules?
    Where's the finish line?
[03:09] ---
    No finish line. We're playing tag.
[03:12] ---
    If you catch us, you win.
    Simple, yeah?
[03:15] ---
    Count for ten minutes when you begin.
[03:17] ---
    We'll make a run for it
    in the meantime.
[03:19] ---
    Those are the rules, so you absolutely
    have to adhere to them.
[03:22] ---
    If you don't, the legend of Turbo Granny
    will just be a piece of crap.
[03:28] ---
    Very well.
[03:29] ---
    I hate people who break the rules.
[03:31] ---
    Then, let's begin! Run, Okarun!
[03:35] ---
    One, two, three, four...
[03:37] ---
    Amazing! I totally thought
    we were goners!
[03:40] ---
    Miss Ayase, are you a genius?
[03:41] ---
    I know! But I shoulda provoked a bit harder!
[03:42] ---
    One minute, three minutes,
    five minutes...
[03:44] ---
    Ten minutes might be cutting it close!
[03:49] ---
    Eight minutes, six minutes...
[03:50] ---
    Hold on! She's counting weird!
[03:53] ---
    Ten minutes.
[03:59] ---
    Okaru...
[03:59] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[04:03] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[04:05] ---
    Her ten minutes have passed.
[04:08] ---
    Now I have to count your ten minutes.
[04:12] ---
    Forty...
[04:14] ---
    One minute... Two minutes...
[04:15] ---
    That's cheating!
    Release Miss Ayase at once!
[04:18] ---
    Fifty-six... Fifty-seven...
[04:19] ---
    Stop! That way of counting is absurd!
[04:21] ---
    You said you were going
    to adhere to the rules!
[04:23] ---
    She didn't specify how to count.
[04:25] ---
    Four minutes... Five minutes...
[04:28] ---
    Gimme a break! Stop counting!
[04:30] ---
    Ten minutes.
[04:32] ---
    There.
[04:34] ---
    Caught you.
[04:36] ---
    But you're kinda dense, Okarun.
    I'll probably be helping you next time, too!
[04:41] ---
    Let me suckle that teat!
[04:47] ---
    Ouch!
[04:49] ---
    How dare you suckle my teat
    without permission!?
[04:51] ---
    Let go, you bastard! Brat!
[04:54] ---
    You're the one who said it!
[04:56] ---
    I absolutely won't let go
    until you release Miss Ayase!
[04:59] ---
    Ouch!
[05:00] ---
    What the hell's going on?
    I can't muster my strength!
[05:03] ---
    Is it because of this outfit!?
[05:06] ---
    Damn you! I have no choice!
[05:08] ---
    I'll possess you!
[05:18] ---
    What a hassle!
[05:20] ---
    Damn brat!
[05:24] ---
    You aren't connected
    to some sorcerer, are you?
[05:29] ---
    Oh well. I'll eat the girl and end it all.
[05:36] ---
    What is this feeling
    of being crushed inside a hand?
[05:39] ---
    I can tell. Even if I can't see,
    I can tell really well.
[05:43] ---
    Granny's main form slipped in,
    so it's crystal clear...
[05:47] ---
    by sense of touch!
[05:52] ---
    Blast you!
[05:56] ---
    Let go!
[06:07] ---
    You saved me, Miss Ayase!
[06:08] ---
    That's my line.
    That was awesome, Okarun!
[06:10] ---
    Damn it! Let me outta this brat!
[06:14] ---
    I caught you, you scummy hag!
    How should we torture you now...
[06:19] ---
    Give her back.
[06:21] ---
    Give Granny back!
[06:25] ---
    Location-bound spirit, kill them!
[08:09] ---
    Crab!
[08:12] ---
    Why is the location-bound spirit a crab!?
[08:14] ---
    Grandma said the dead turn themselves
    into freshwater crabs to cross the River Styx!
SIGN    BEWARE OF BEARS
[08:24] ---
    This way! Over here!
    Where are you looking, you fool?
[08:27] ---
    Okarun, time to transform!
[08:28] ---
    Damn granny! You stay still, you punk!
[08:31] ---
    - How dare you address me as such?
    - Miss Ayase, hurry!
[08:33] ---
    It's really hard! Unlike before,
    you have the real thing in there!
[08:39] ---
    Here it comes!
[08:44] ---
    That was close! This is super serious!
[08:46] ---
    Curse you! Don't use my power
    without permission!
[08:50] ---
    Let go, you punks!
[08:51] ---
    This is great!
    It's easier to squish you directly!
[08:54] ---
    Momo-chan, it's lookin' bad.
[08:56] ---
    Hey! Don't get chummy
    and call me by my first name!
[08:58] ---
    You're too heavy
    so I can't make this curve.
[09:01] ---
    For real!?
[09:05] ---
    Damn it!
[09:09] ---
    Time to go full throttle now!
[09:13] ---
    Wicked! It's like a helicopter!
[09:15] ---
    I can't do it anymore.
[09:22] ---
    Ouch!
[09:25] ---
    Okarun, are you okay?
[09:26] ---
    I'm all droopy...
[09:28] ---
    Sorry. Seriously, you're a lifesaver!
[09:29] ---
    But I already used one full throttle.
[09:31] ---
    That's right, you can only go
    full throttle twice, right?
[09:34] ---
    But I think we gained some distance, didn't we?
[09:36] ---
    It's here!
[09:42] ---
    There's a ton of faces on its back!
[09:45] ---
    Crap! There's a lot of people here, too!
[09:46] ---
    What's that?
    He's totally giving a piggyback ride.
[09:48] ---
    What dedication. So hilarious!
[09:51] ---
    This is totally embarrassing!
[09:53] ---
    No way! Nobody else can see the crab!?
[09:55] ---
    Hold on a second!
[09:56] ---
    That means we just look like
    we're all in on a chicken fight!
[10:00] ---
    I hope I don't bump into any friends!
[10:02] ---
    Momo-chan, my stamina
    is getting seriously low.
[10:04] ---
    Come on, try harder!
    What about your other full throttle?
[10:06] ---
    No good even if I go full throttle.
    I can't leave Shono City distance-wise!
[10:09] ---
    At this rate, that thing
    will catch up and eat us!
[10:11] ---
    Seriously, anything but that!
[10:12] ---
    I ain't letting no crab eat me!
    I would rather eat a crab instead!
[10:18] ---
    Let's try something. Hang a right, Okarun!
SIGN    HEALTH LAND
[10:23] ---
    Welcome. How many will it be?
[10:25] ---
    Two!
SIGN    MANGA CAFE A TIME TO RELAX
[10:28] ---
    Head upstairs!
[10:29] ---
    It should be harder for it
    to chase us in a narrow place!
[10:33] ---
    It doesn't matter at all!?
[10:38] ---
    An explosion!
[10:39] ---
    Run away!
[10:42] ---
    Hot! What is this place?
[10:45] ---
    This is not good, Miss Ayase!
[10:46] ---
    Crabs thrive in waterfronts!
[10:49] ---
    Water is water, but...
[10:52] ---
    this is a hot spring!
[11:01] ---
    When you boil crabs, the meat
    tightens up and gets plump, right?
[11:04] ---
    Tightening up means that
    the muscle fibers stiffen up,
[11:07] ---
    so maybe its movements will slow down.
[11:18] ---
    It stopped. It stopped!
[11:20] ---
    Boiled!
[11:21] ---
    Now that it's all red,
    it totally looks yummy!
[11:24] ---
    Freaky! You were looking at it like that?
[11:26] ---
    Stop eyeing it,
    and let's just get out of here!
[11:30] ---
    Straight down this road
    and we'll escape Shono City.
[11:33] ---
    Wait, aren't there fewer people than before?
[11:35] ---
    Indeed.
[11:41] ---
    What's that?
[11:47] ---
    Crap, crap, crap, crap!
[11:50] ---
    What are those guys!?
[11:52] ---
    Idiots! You won't get away that easily!
[11:55] ---
    There's a giant cemetery
    at the edge of Shono City!
[11:59] ---
    I just borrowed some help
    from the spirits already resting there.
[12:02] ---
    After all, Shono City is our territory!
[12:13] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[12:16] ---
    We're not letting you leave Shono City!
[12:28] ---
    Okarun, go full throttle.
[12:30] ---
    Huh? Is it all right?
[12:32] ---
    Even if I use it here,
    we won't make it to the next city!
[12:37] ---
    If you don't use it, we'll die right here!
[12:39] ---
    Trust me!
[12:45] ---
    Man, I'm so depressed.
[12:47] ---
    You're done for.
[12:49] ---
    One more full throttle from this kid
    and he'll be immobile!
[12:56] ---
    Do it!
[13:25] ---
    Momo-chan, I can't make this turn!
[13:44] ---
    Don't stop!
[13:58] ---
    Momo-chan! We gotta get back
    to the original route!
[14:21] ---
    You untransformed!
[14:23] ---
    Huh?
[14:26] ---
    Don't suddenly let go of me!
[14:40] ---
    Okarun, land!
[14:58] ---
    I'm done for. I'm at my limit!
[15:00] ---
    My body is going to rip apart!
[15:02] ---
    Too wicked! I thought
    I was gonna puke out my organs!
[15:06] ---
    Okarun, stand up!
[15:08] ---
    It's only a little further!
[15:12] ---
    Turbo Granny.
[15:14] ---
    Crap, I let go of her!
[15:22] ---
    I can't forgive you for this.
    You keep cheating.
[15:25] ---
    What I detest the most...
[15:28] ---
    is your lack of respect for elders.
[15:31] ---
    You really are an amazing senior.
[15:34] ---
    I've never seen an old person
    who can bully young folks this much.
[15:37] ---
    Mad respect for that.
[15:39] ---
    Speak properly, you punk.
[15:41] ---
    I can see through your ploys
    to use modern words to fool the elderly.
[15:46] ---
    I really hate those words. I hate it.
[15:49] ---
    I hate shady brats like that.
[15:52] ---
    What a...
[15:59] ---
    son of a bitch.
[16:01] ---
    All right, I'll eat ya, so run away.
[16:04] ---
    You can leave Shono City real soon now.
[16:08] ---
    I'll wait for you to finish running.
    Ten minutes? Or 20 minutes?
[16:15] ---
    Then I'll take one second.
[16:19] ---
    My ability is to take anything...
[16:24] ---
    and grab it.
[16:32] ---
    Get back here!
[16:35] ---
    Turbo Granny used to be called
    Hundred Kilo Granny!
[16:38] ---
    The Takasaki Line's maximum speed
    is 120 kmph!
[16:42] ---
    She can't catch up to us!
[16:44] ---
    You're so slow! What a slowpoke!
[16:46] ---
    You're nothing compared to us!
[16:48] ---
    You're dead meat!
[16:55] ---
    You fool!
[16:57] ---
    Trains aren't always going at full speed!
[17:01] ---
    They slow down at curves!
[17:03] ---
    But I can always run at 100 kmph.
    I'm not letting you get away!
[17:08] ---
    "I'm not letting you get away,"
    is my line, moron.
[17:11] ---
    Just like Grandma said,
    you always take the bait if I taunt ya.
[17:15] ---
    You're already on board...
[17:18] ---
    the rails of your defeat.
[17:23] ---
    Yeah. Welcome to Kamigoe City.
[17:27] ---
    You rotten bastard pigs!
[17:30] ---
    Let go of me!
[17:31] ---
    You were really fast, senior.
[17:34] ---
    It's like you haven't lived
    a long time for nothing.
[17:36] ---
    Nobody can win against you.
[17:39] ---
    But in this race...
[17:42] ---
    I win.
[18:11] ---
    Ow.
[18:24] ---
    Miss Ayase, where are we!?
[18:26] ---
    Where's the crab? And Turbo Granny?
[18:29] ---
    Looks like we defeated them.
[18:35] ---
    I really didn't want to be rough like this.
[18:40] ---
    This is where girls around your age were violated,
    cut to pieces, and tossed away.
[18:46] ---
    They didn't become evil spirits
    because they wanted to.
[18:54] ---
    We spirit mediums
    have long hunted Turbo Granny.
[19:00] ---
    Granny always showed up in places
    where spirits of girls met irrational deaths.
[19:06] ---
    Perhaps she went around consoling the spirits
    of the girls who couldn't rest in peace.
[19:12] ---
    But the dead shouldn't assault the living.
    That's no good.
[19:16] ---
    We have to use force
    to send them to the other side.
[19:20] ---
    The same goes for the living.
    They should never do anything to mock the dead.
[19:25] ---
    Trample into their territory disrespectfully,
    and you can only blame yourself for your death.
[19:30] ---
    Those are the rules for the living
    and the dead to coexist.
[19:41] ---
    I'm glad you were okay.
[19:46] ---
    Damn it, old hag!
    Don't take all the big ones!
[19:50] ---
    If you don't give me this piece of crab,
    I'll break your Bakatono DVDs!
[19:53] ---
    Try me! You do that and I'll burn
    all your Ken Takakura merch!
[19:57] ---
    You're taking Mr. Ken as hostage!?
    You really aren't human!
[19:59] ---
    You're the one
    who took Bakatono hostage first!
[20:02] ---
    - What'd you say, hag!?
    - Huh?
[20:02] ---
    Um, I don't have an appetite,
    so if you'd like...
[20:06] ---
    You have crab right in front of you
    but no appetite? What a loser.
[20:09] ---
    Monster.
[20:10] ---
    I'd totally be eating
    under normal circumstances!
[20:12] ---
    How can you eat crab right after
    experiencing what happened?
[20:14] ---
    Then what do you want to eat
    at what kind of time, you entitled brat?
[20:19] ---
    I don't want to talk anymore!
[20:21] ---
    You're so whiny for a guy.
    Are you sure you have something down there?
[20:25] ---
    I do! Thank you for retrieving it for me!
[20:28] ---
    Show me.
[20:29] ---
    Huh?
[20:30] ---
    I'm telling you to show me
    that it's actually there.
[20:32] ---
    Um...
[20:34] ---
    Are you stupid?
[20:41] ---
    Are you insane!?
[20:43] ---
    Miss Ayase, do something about this!
[20:47] ---
    This family is insane!
[20:50] ---
    Hold up, you!
[20:55] ---
    Thank you for everything.
[20:57] ---
    It's late so be careful.
[20:59] ---
    I think it'll be safer than this house.
[21:02] ---
    You're not getting away next time.
[21:04] ---
    I'm never showing you.
[21:06] ---
    So chilly.
[21:10] ---
    Leave her be. She's not serious about it.
[21:14] ---
    You weren't eating crab and were pretty depressed,
    so I think she tried to cheer you up?
[21:19] ---
    So that's it. I'm sorry I made her
    be so considerate...
[21:23] ---
    Not!
[21:25] ---
    Well then, goodbye.
[21:27] ---
    Yeah. Bye-bye.
[21:32] ---
    Goodbye?
[21:34] ---
    Goodbye...
[21:36] ---
    Goodbye?
[21:38] ---
    Goodbye...
[21:40] ---
    Goodbye?
[21:42] ---
    Goodbye...
[21:45] ---
    Goodbye?
[21:47] ---
    Goodbye...
[21:49] ---
    Goodbye?
[21:55] ---
    Okarun!
[22:01] ---
    See you tomorrow!
[22:09] ---
    Okay!
[23:42] ---
    Grandma, why was it a crab?
[23:44] ---
    They say spirits of the dead turn themselves
    into freshwater crabs to cross the River Styx!
[23:48] ---
    That's why they turned into location-bound
    spirits inside that tunnel.
[23:50] ---
    But yeah, I'm surprised
    you really ate all that crab!
SIGN    EPISODE 5 LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU BALLS?
[23:52] ---
    Next episode,
    "Like, Where Are Your Balls!?"
[23:54] ---
    That's why I told you to show me.

Season 1

5 - Like, Where Are Your Balls?!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:14] ---
    Calm down.
[00:16] ---
    A morning hello is no big deal!
[00:18] ---
    Morning! Tee-hee!
    Vamola! Ya doin' well?
[00:19] ---
    I practiced the heck out of it
    last night! I got this!
[00:23] ---
    I can't let her catch on
    that I'm a morning hello amateur!
[00:45] ---
    Hold on.
[00:46] ---
    Even though we became friends,
[00:48] ---
    would she suddenly start waiting for me
    at the school gate?
[00:50] ---
    She must be waiting for someone else!
[00:52] ---
    Morning!
[00:59] ---
    The correct answer is to ignore her.
[01:10] ---
    You're late. Let's go.
[02:48] ---
    And that alien was saying
    there were only men.
SIGN    EPISODE 5
    LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU BALLS?
[02:51] ---
    Oh, is that so?
[02:53] ---
    They come here from super far away
    on a UFO, right?
[02:55] ---
    That UFO must've been totally musty!
[02:59] ---
    I wonder what they normally eat.
    What do you think?
[03:03] ---
    Um, well, uh...
[03:07] ---
    We'll chat again later.
[03:09] ---
    Okay, see ya!
[03:11] ---
    Yes, later...
[03:15] ---
    See ya!
[03:17] ---
    That hurt, damn you!
    You're in the way, moron.
[03:20] ---
    Can you hurry up and step aside?
    You're so annoying!
[03:43] ---
    This is nothing.
[03:44] ---
    No matter how brutal people may be,
    I can forgive them all.
[03:49] ---
    Because I know...
[03:52] ---
    that I now have a wonderful friend!
[04:00] ---
    Over here!
[04:02] ---
    Okay! Here goes!
[04:02] ---
    I shall forgive them.
[04:14] ---
    No good. Totes zoned out.
[04:17] ---
    She's def acting weird!
[04:18] ---
    I was wondering why she didn't return
    my messages. She said she lost her phone.
[04:22] ---
    And she wasn't at school yesterday.
[04:24] ---
    Hey! Maybe she went to see
    that ex-boyfriend?
[04:27] ---
    Wow, for real?
[04:28] ---
    And he rejected her flat-out so she stopped
    caring about stuff and broke her phone?
[04:33] ---
    That's so possible.
[04:36] ---
    Here it comes! Agony time!
[04:37] ---
    It's when she remembers the past
    and writhes about.
SIGN    THE POWER TO LIVE!
[04:46] ---
    I wanna talk about aliens.
SIGN    CRAB + TURBO G UMA? SPIRITUAL PHENOMENON? FRESHWATER CRAB?
[04:51] ---
    I want to talk to Miss Ayase!
[04:53] ---
    I want to talk about ghosts!
[04:55] ---
    I was at my wit's end in the morning,
    and couldn't talk at all.
[04:58] ---
    Miss Ayase asked me
    all sorts of questions, too!
[05:02] ---
    I want to talk to Okarun!
[05:03] ---
    What do the aliens
    that assaulted us usually eat?
[05:06] ---
    And do they even wear underwear?
[05:09] ---
    You idiot, Ken! You moron!
[05:12] ---
    I want to talk to Okarun!
[05:14] ---
    I must hurry and recover our relationship,
    or she'll hate me!
[05:17] ---
    I wanna talk, I wanna talk to him!
SIGN    SPIRITUAL PHENOMENON ASSAULTING ALIENS ONLY HAVE MALES WHAT DO THEY USUALLY EAT?
[05:56] ---
    Huh? Who?
[05:57] ---
    Okarun! It's Okarun!
[05:59] ---
    Tell us his name. Real name.
[06:01] ---
    I can't possibly say his name!
[06:03] ---
    Bring me the boy with glasses
    who likes the occult!
[06:05] ---
    Was anyone interested in the occult?
[06:07] ---
    It's lunchtime,
    so maybe he's at the cafeteria?
[06:09] ---
    Um, excuse me.
[06:11] ---
    Is Miss Ayase here?
[06:13] ---
    Huh? Who? I can't hear you.
[06:16] ---
    Maybe she's at the cafeteria.
[06:18] ---
    Like Okarun would go
    to such a rowdy place!
[06:20] ---
    He's at the school store. The co-op!
[06:21] ---
    Co-op?
[06:23] ---
    I'll drop by after I check the cafeteria.
[06:32] ---
    She's not here. I should try the co-op.
[06:37] ---
    I guess I'll try the cafeteria.
[06:47] ---
    Nowhere to be found.
[06:53] ---
    She's avoiding me.
[06:55] ---
    She realized this morning how boring I am
[06:58] ---
    and must've thought
    that I'm a pain in the butt.
[07:00] ---
    Sheesh, where are you, Okarun?
[07:03] ---
    Lunch break is gonna be over soon!
[07:08] ---
    This is the worst.
[07:11] ---
    Come to think,
    he was pretty lifeless this morning.
[07:14] ---
    Maybe he doesn't like people
    getting in his face?
[07:18] ---
    Maybe I wasn't earnestly thinking
    about Okarun's feelings.
[07:23] ---
    Miss Ayase has so many friends, so I guess
    I'm just a friend candidate.
[07:31] ---
    Maybe he's avoiding me.
[07:35] ---
    Maybe I don't even count as a friend.
[07:58] ---
    I'm totes feelin' the blues.
[08:02] ---
    I was conceited.
[08:04] ---
    Why am I such a wimp?
[08:07] ---
    Why am I always like this?
[08:09] ---
    I'm sorry, Miss Ayase.
[08:11] ---
    I'm sorry, Okarun.
[08:14] ---
    Ouch!
[08:15] ---
    I found you, Okarun!
[08:17] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[08:19] ---
    What are you doing there?
[08:20] ---
    That's my line!
[08:22] ---
    Ouch! Like, I heard teeth clashing!
[08:24] ---
    I was searching for you
    the whole time, Miss Ayase!
[08:28] ---
    And that's my line!
    Don't be wandering around so much!
[08:32] ---
    Were you looking for me?
[08:34] ---
    I was! And break is almost over!
[08:37] ---
    I'd thought that you were completely
    avoiding me, Miss Ayase.
[08:40] ---
    That's what I was thinking!
[08:45] ---
    Huh? This is turning really awkward.
[08:48] ---
    I have to change the topic fast!
[08:51] ---
    They were kissing just now!
[08:53] ---
    Hold on, Momo.
    You totes shoulda told us sooner!
[08:56] ---
    So that's why
    you've been acting so weird.
[08:58] ---
    No way! I'd never kiss
    a dimwit like him!
[09:01] ---
    That's right! I'd never do that
    with a stupid person like her!
[09:04] ---
    Hold on just a second!
[09:05] ---
    You don't got the right
    to reject, you baldie!
[09:07] ---
    I'm not bald!
    Can you even see properly!?
[09:10] ---
    How lame! A serious answer!
    You're so lame, damn four-eyes!
[09:13] ---
    Okay! You just antagonized every
    single person wearing glasses in the world!
[09:17] ---
    I don't want to talk to you, okay?
    Don't talk to me!
[09:20] ---
    You said it! You better not talk to me, okay?
[09:28] ---
    Wicked.
[09:30] ---
    Those two really get along!
[09:34] ---
    I couldn't help retort to her provoking.
[09:38] ---
    There are so many things
    I want to talk to her about.
[09:40] ---
    I have to properly apologize.
[09:44] ---
    Huh?
[09:47] ---
    No way.
[09:49] ---
    Momo! I heard you were kissing
    in the courtyard?
[09:51] ---
    What kinda guy is he? Which class?
[09:53] ---
    I said, it's nothing like that!
[09:57] ---
    Actually, he's an otaku,
    and a total four-eyes.
[10:00] ---
    - Don't you run off with the story!
    - Miss Ayase!
[10:03] ---
    There he is! That's the bae!
[10:05] ---
    I said...
[10:07] ---
    he's not my...
[10:09] ---
    Wait, what the hell are you doing?
[10:10] ---
    Miss Ayase, I have to talk to you!
[10:13] ---
    Oh, one of those.
[10:14] ---
    That's unexpected.
[10:15] ---
    Miss Ayase, there's a major issue!
[10:18] ---
    Why are you here?
[10:20] ---
    I said I didn't wanna talk to you!
[10:21] ---
    Shoo! Shoo!
[10:22] ---
    This isn't the time for all that!
[10:24] ---
    It's something important!
[10:26] ---
    I need to talk to you alone!
[10:28] ---
    Please, listen to me!
[10:30] ---
    As if!
[10:31] ---
    We start off with a bloodbath?
    I pity your bae!
[10:34] ---
    As. I. Said.
    He's not a boyfriend or anything!
[10:37] ---
    Don't spread strange rumors!
[10:39] ---
    Miss Ayase! You talked a whole bunch
    to me this morning!
[10:43] ---
    Why won't you talk to me at all now!?
[10:45] ---
    You said you didn't want
    to talk to me, too!
[10:47] ---
    I was just provoked,
    so it was just a retort.
[10:51] ---
    To be honest, I just wanted to talk to you
    more than anything, Miss Ayase!
[10:55] ---
    Quite the words!
[10:56] ---
    - Go for it, Otaku-kun!
    - Shut up!
[10:58] ---
    When I say I don't want to,
    I don't want to! Go away!
[11:01] ---
    Wow, how cold. That's so brutal.
[11:04] ---
    You guys are the brutal ones!
[11:11] ---
    So is it that embarrassing
    to be friendly to me?
[11:22] ---
    You don't have to go all-out
    to reject him, you know?
[11:25] ---
    If he's just a friend, you'd let it slide
    with a wisecrack like you always do.
[11:30] ---
    This isn't like you.
[11:42] ---
    I wonder if Miss Ayase
    already went home.
[11:45] ---
    Oh, I'm sorry.
[11:49] ---
    I'm sorry! Are you all right?
[11:52] ---
    Huh? Oh, no, are you okay?
[11:55] ---
    I have a water bottle in my bag.
    I hope it didn't hurt?
[12:00] ---
    Oh no, not at all.
    Maybe it's because I've been working out?
[12:04] ---
    I'm so sorry.
[12:08] ---
    That was totally my fault!
[12:10] ---
    P-Please don't worry about it.
[12:13] ---
    You're a very kind person.
[12:19] ---
    Man, I feel so bummed.
[12:22] ---
    It feels like I'm the bad guy.
[12:25] ---
    No, I was the one at fault.
[12:34] ---
    What the hell?
[12:35] ---
    Didn't he say he had no friends?
[12:38] ---
    And she's kinda cute, too.
[12:44] ---
    Hey, did you see that?
[12:46] ---
    That otaku had such
    a dumb look on his face.
[12:50] ---
    He totally fell for me back there.
[12:52] ---
    He must be head over heels
    for me by now.
[12:55] ---
    You're such a player.
[12:56] ---
    What? I mean, it's so fun
    when scum fall for you!
[13:01] ---
    I'm sure a guy like that never had
    a decent conversation with a girl, anyway.
[13:04] ---
    And he probably will never
    be touched by a cute girl like me ever again.
[13:08] ---
    I'm letting him dream,
    so isn't that a good thing?
[13:12] ---
    I'm sure that four-eyed otaku
    is happy now, too.
[13:22] ---
    - Aira!
    - You okay?
[13:23] ---
    But wait, why a washtub?
[13:25] ---
    That fell from directly above us,
    didn't it?
[13:28] ---
    Huh? That girl from earlier has fallen!
[13:30] ---
    Did the impact of bumping into me
    have a delayed effect?
[13:37] ---
    M-Miss Ayase?
[13:39] ---
    Okarun! Let's go home together!
[13:42] ---
    Oh, you're really looking sharp
    as usual with those glasses!
[13:46] ---
    I guess stupid girls will never
    understand your charm, Okarun.
[13:50] ---
    Some are more fit to have washtubs
    falling on their heads than guys falling for her.
[14:10] ---
    I'm sorry, Okarun.
[14:11] ---
    I had the worst attitude towards you.
[14:15] ---
    In the courtyard, after that incident
    that was like a kiss, I got all flustered.
[14:23] ---
    I'm sorry I was so embarrassed.
[14:26] ---
    I'm not embarrassed about
    being friendly to you, Okarun.
[14:30] ---
    No, it's fine! I don't mind at all.
[14:34] ---
    More like, I'm very happy that
    I could make amends with you.
[14:46] ---
    A...
[14:47] ---
    Anyway that's trivial.
    I have a huge problem!
[14:49] ---
    Huh? Wait, what do you mean trivial?
[14:52] ---
    I was agonizing a lot about this!
[14:54] ---
    Please calm down and listen.
[14:56] ---
    You know how we defeated
    Turbo Granny, right?
[14:59] ---
    We did beat her.
[15:00] ---
    We even visited a shrine afterwards.
[15:01] ---
    Your curse is gone,
    and your thing is back too, right?
[15:05] ---
    It's gone.
[15:07] ---
    What is?
[15:08] ---
    Balls.
[15:09] ---
    Huh?
[15:09] ---
    My balls are gone.
[15:13] ---
    That's why I told you to show me.
[15:15] ---
    To begin with, why didn't you notice?
    Those are your balls!
[15:19] ---
    Miss Ayase, you're laughing too hard!
[15:21] ---
    Well, the shaft was back, so I felt
    reassured and didn't notice the balls.
[15:27] ---
    Shaft? Stop making it sound
    like it's something glorious!
[15:29] ---
    Yours is nothing more than a pencil!
[15:32] ---
    You've never seen it!
[15:33] ---
    No choice. Gotta take a peek.
[15:36] ---
    What? You're going to look?
[15:37] ---
    I ain't gonna look at your wiener!
[15:40] ---
    I'm gonna peek into your soul.
[15:48] ---
    Momo! Bring me a doll, I don't care what!
[15:50] ---
    Also, bring a washing bin and some water.
[15:53] ---
    There's something hiding inside him.
[16:01] ---
    All right, let's begin.
SIGN    PEACEFUL PROSPEROUS FAMILY WARD AGAINST EVIL AND MISFORTUNE
[16:04] ---
    You put the talisman on the doll?
[16:10] ---
    You...
[16:11] ---
    dumb-dumb!
[16:14] ---
    Huh? What is this? Huh!?
[16:17] ---
    Don't move. Don't talk.
    You rotten tangerine.
[16:19] ---
    Wait a minute!
[16:20] ---
    Are you completely
    fooling around right now?
[16:23] ---
    The lines in the kanji for "person"
    support each other!
[16:26] ---
    Okay! You are fooling around!
[16:28] ---
    Besides, Kinpachi-sensei
    would never say "rotten tangerine"!
[16:31] ---
    Momo, did you get a glimpse of anything?
[16:35] ---
    I did.
[16:37] ---
    Right when Okarun got smacked,
    the aura changed for an instant.
[16:42] ---
    All right, Momo. Help me out.
[16:44] ---
    The instant the aura changes colors,
    pull out that aura.
[16:47] ---
    You can pull out a human aura?
[16:49] ---
    It won't be his.
[16:51] ---
    If it's something foreign,
    you should be able to pull it out.
[16:53] ---
    Here goes.
[16:55] ---
    Concentrate, okay?
[16:57] ---
    Okay.
[17:05] ---
    What?
[17:06] ---
    I felt it just now!
[17:08] ---
    Once I pulled it out, it disappeared!
[17:09] ---
    Crap, Grandma! I might've let it escape!
[17:13] ---
    Calm down.
[17:25] ---
    Wait up, damn it!
[17:27] ---
    It went that way! Come on, catch it!
[17:34] ---
    So fast! Seriously, what is that thing?
[17:36] ---
    Where did you go, rotten tangerine?
[17:40] ---
    I know!
[17:44] ---
    Where is that cat?
[17:47] ---
    There you are!
[17:54] ---
    Caught it!
[17:58] ---
    It's probably here!
[18:04] ---
    Let go of me, damn it!
[18:07] ---
    I'll kill all three of ya!
[18:11] ---
    That's amazing, Miss Ayase!
[18:13] ---
    Your psychic powers have evolved!
[18:16] ---
    Yeah! How's that?
[18:18] ---
    - Come at me!
    - So, who is this?
[18:20] ---
    - Come on, come on!
    - Dunno.
[18:22] ---
    Well that's surprising.
[18:24] ---
    What is this?
[18:26] ---
    It's Turbo Granny.
[18:28] ---
    But we defeated Turbo Granny!
    She went to the afterlife, right?
[18:32] ---
    Who'd be defeated
    by some youngins like you?
[18:35] ---
    Don't underestimate the elderly!
[18:37] ---
    Doesn't she look kind of cute?
[18:39] ---
    I just told you
    to not underestimate me, punk!
[18:42] ---
    In that instant I was getting burnt
    by the barrier spell,
[18:44] ---
    I switched to astral form
    as if I was swimming in the flames,
[18:47] ---
    and possessed the boy's body.
[18:50] ---
    As I was close to being diminished, I was able
    to completely sever my presence within his body.
[18:55] ---
    I was hiding inside him as I waited
    for my spiritual powers to recover.
[18:59] ---
    I'd been thinking, when the time comes,
    that I'll kill both of you.
[19:04] ---
    You're still gonna go at it?
    You've already lost.
[19:06] ---
    I haven't lost!
    There's no way I'd lose, idiot!
[19:11] ---
    Especially you!
    You're not getting away with this.
[19:15] ---
    I'll snap all your bones!
[19:20] ---
    Do you understand your current situation?
[19:23] ---
    We're the ones with the advantage here.
[19:25] ---
    You told us too much
    about what's on your mind.
[19:28] ---
    That's right! Hand the balls over!
    Gimme my balls!
[19:31] ---
    You have nowhere to run anymore!
[19:35] ---
    You shouldn't be thinking
    about defeating me.
[19:39] ---
    If I die, your balls
    will never go back to normal.
[19:44] ---
    You morons finally understand
    the situation now?
[19:48] ---
    I'm the only one
    with the advantage here, you bastards!
[19:53] ---
    So for now, boy, bring a kitchen knife.
[19:56] ---
    And kill these two bitches.
[19:58] ---
    If you do, I'll give your balls back to you!
[20:00] ---
    Damn you!
[20:01] ---
    Do it!
[20:03] ---
    You have no choice but to obey me!
[20:06] ---
    Hurry up and do it!
[20:21] ---
    Stuff like that is too much stress.
    Makes me wilt.
[20:25] ---
    Huh? Why? We drove Turbo Granny out,
    so why can you transform?
[20:30] ---
    Impossible! What's going on!?
[20:32] ---
    This paper fan is used to drive evil spirits
    outta people's bodies.
[20:38] ---
    You seem to have been
    trying really hard to cling on,
[20:41] ---
    because it looks like only
    Granny's consciousness came out.
[20:45] ---
    Which means, your spiritual power
    is still remaining inside the kid,
[20:48] ---
    and just the consciousness
    was transferred into the doll.
[20:52] ---
    By the way, I'm the only one who can
    return the consciousness to its original place.
[20:57] ---
    But didn't you face Kinpachi here
    and call me an idiot?
[21:01] ---
    You dumb-dumb cat-turd rotten tangerine.
[21:05] ---
    I'm sorry, Sensei!
[21:06] ---
    I'm not your Sensei, you fool!
[21:09] ---
    Oh, you really are cool Seiko-chan!
[21:11] ---
    The hell you think you're doing?
[21:14] ---
    You're back!
[21:16] ---
    That was amazing!
    How did you transform?
[21:18] ---
    - Well, I don't know.
    - Scurry, scurry.
[21:20] ---
    I really got pissed and felt
    I just couldn't forgive her, and I had transformed.
[21:21] ---
    Get back here! Don't you be
    running away, punk! You damn cat!
[21:23] ---
    - Ouch!
    - Take this!
[21:26] ---
    You dumb-dumb! You rotten tangerine!
[21:28] ---
    That's enough. Cut it out.
[21:31] ---
    You're really petty, but to be honest,
    I can't really hate you.
[21:36] ---
    The feeling of sympathy for those girls
    is the same, after all.
[21:40] ---
    So let's be a bit friendly here.
[21:43] ---
    If you give the balls back,
    we'll return you your powers. Okay?
[21:49] ---
    Okay?
[21:51] ---
    Damn punks.
[21:54] ---
    Fine.
[21:55] ---
    All right, it's settled!
[21:57] ---
    Now hurry up and give the balls back!
[22:00] ---
    They're not here.
[22:02] ---
    Hey! You promised.
[22:05] ---
    - Hurry up and—
    - I don't lie.
[22:07] ---
    His balls?
    I dropped them somewhere.
[23:44] ---
    Oh, no.
[23:44] ---
    Danger.
[23:45] ---
    What's dangerous?
[23:47] ---
    Humans are creatures that
    just accidentally mutter "danger" sometimes.
[23:50] ---
    I totally get that.
SIGN    EPISODE 6 A DANGEROUS WOMAN ARRIVES
[23:52] ---
    Next episode,
    "A Dangerous Woman Arrives."
[23:53] ---
    And I'm asking you,
    what's so dangerous?

Season 1

6 - A Dangerous Woman Arrives

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
    The balls are wrapped
    in a veil of my spiritual energy.
[00:07] ---
    The balls glimmer gold,
    about five centimeters in diameter.
[00:11] ---
    You'll recognize it the instant you see it.
[00:14] ---
    Nope, it's not anywhere.
[00:15] ---
    That's impossible!
    We'll never find anything that small!
[00:18] ---
    If you searched this hard and you can't find it,
    then someone probably took them already.
[00:23] ---
    Huh?
[00:24] ---
    The balls are filled
    with a powerful life force.
[00:27] ---
    Spirits and yokai monsters
    are drawn to stuff like that.
[00:31] ---
    They believe they'll come back to life
    if they gather enough items with high life force.
[00:37] ---
    That's why evil spirits attack people,
    and try to steal life force from them.
[00:43] ---
    Isn't that bad news?
[00:45] ---
    If someone takes them,
    there's no way to look for them.
[00:49] ---
    Like I care about that.
[00:54] ---
    - You're the one who lost them!
    - Ow! Stop it.
[00:56] ---
    You look for it with us, damn it!
[00:58] ---
    You goddamn turds!
[01:00] ---
    Oh, wait, hold on, that hurts, wait...
[01:04] ---
    This treatment... I'll never forget it.
[01:08] ---
    We should go home for now
    and think of a different strategy.
[01:11] ---
    Right.
[01:12] ---
    Find them?
[01:13] ---
    Not at all.
[01:16] ---
    If you have no leads,
    there's nothing you can do.
[01:20] ---
    I'll ask people I know
    if they have ball intel, too.
[01:24] ---
    Ball intel?
[01:25] ---
    Also, don't forget that you still have
    Turbo Granny's powers inside you.
[01:31] ---
    Seems it's not going haywire this time,
    but it's still a dangerous power.
[01:36] ---
    Stay put until you figure something out.
[01:38] ---
    Okay!
[01:48] ---
    Hey.
[01:49] ---
    Are you going out with Ayase?
[01:51] ---
    Huh? Oh, no, I'm not dating her.
[01:54] ---
    Huh? Is that right? I see.
[01:57] ---
    Then can you introduce us?
[02:01] ---
    Ayase is super cute!
[02:03] ---
    I've been wanting
    to get to know her for a while now!
[02:05] ---
    Miss Ayase is...
[02:07] ---
    cute!?
[02:09] ---
    I never even considered that.
[02:11] ---
    I was just happy
    that I made my first friend.
[02:14] ---
    But wait, if I think about it,
    she might be cute.
[02:19] ---
    No, wait!
[02:20] ---
    Miss Ayase is my friend!
[02:21] ---
    Thinking she's cute is bad!
    That's impure!
[02:24] ---
    So you guys have, like, done it, right?
[02:26] ---
    Huh?
[02:27] ---
    Rumors say she'll sleep with anyone.
[02:30] ---
    Huh? Who'd say such a thing?
[02:32] ---
    Dunno. But it's true, right?
[02:34] ---
    Come on, please...
[02:36] ---
    Who is spreading those rumors?
[02:40] ---
    Huh? What's going on here?
[02:43] ---
    You wanna fight?
[02:45] ---
    I asked you who was spreading
    such rumors.
[02:50] ---
    Ya see, Momo-chan...
[02:53] ---
    ain't that kind of girl.
[02:56] ---
    It's best not to spread rumors like that.
[02:59] ---
    It's not me! I get it!
[03:02] ---
    I get it, so let go of me!
[03:05] ---
    Hey, what's up? You okay?
[03:07] ---
    - I'm sorry.
    - Hey.
[03:25] ---
    Calm down! Calm down!
[03:27] ---
    Yo.
[03:30] ---
    Looks like you're havin' a hard time.
[03:43] ---
    I haven't been to a school in centuries.
    It's gotten so nice.
[03:47] ---
    What're you doing here of all places?
[03:49] ---
    In the first place, aren't you quarantined
    in Miss Ayase's house?
[03:53] ---
    Seiko said, "Cat, you can roam free.
    You can't do anything anyway."
[03:59] ---
    I can see her saying that.
[04:01] ---
    Anyway, aren't you in trouble?
[04:03] ---
    That power is way too heavy
    of a burden for you.
[04:07] ---
    You should let me inside
    your body once more.
[04:11] ---
    Don't worry.
[04:13] ---
    I'll leave as soon as
    I regain my power.
[04:17] ---
    It's a really simple process.
[04:20] ---
    Give me a break!
[04:21] ---
    You returning my balls
    to me comes first!
[04:23] ---
    I won't fall for slick talk like that!
[04:25] ---
    Okarun!
[04:29] ---
    Whatcha up to?
[04:31] ---
    Miss Ayase! Actually, right now...
[04:33] ---
    - Inside this is Tur—
    - Shh! Quiet!
[04:40] ---
    ...bo Gra...
[04:43] ---
    Ayase is super cute!
[04:46] ---
    C-Cute...
[04:51] ---
    What the hell?
[04:51] ---
    Why are you shying away from me?
[04:53] ---
    Um, well, it's not what you think.
[04:56] ---
    Then look at me!
[04:57] ---
    Um, hold on.
[04:59] ---
    And like, stop!
[05:00] ---
    Why are you running from me?
[05:03] ---
    Wait, damn you!
[05:05] ---
    It's not what you think!
[05:07] ---
    - I'll kill your punk ass!
    - Why!?
[05:10] ---
    Guess I'll enjoy campus life
    for the first time in a while.
[05:14] ---
    Oof.
[05:16] ---
    Momo, why you so mad?
[05:18] ---
    What? Something happen with your bae?
[05:21] ---
    For some reason he's totally avoiding me.
[05:23] ---
    I'm seriously pissed.
    And he ain't my boyfriend, either.
[05:26] ---
    But he's a good guy.
[05:27] ---
    Huh? That came from nowhere.
    Whatcha talkin' about?
[05:30] ---
    I heard from someone in Class C.
[05:33] ---
    Okarun got in a fight with boys
    who were badmouthing you.
[05:37] ---
    What?
[05:38] ---
    Seems someone is spreading
    nasty rumors about you.
[05:44] ---
    And I heard he got pissed about that.
[05:47] ---
    Then why is he avoiding me?
[05:51] ---
    I am just too pretty.
[05:55] ---
    Everyone's eyes are glued to me
    when I'm just walking down the hall.
[06:00] ---
    And I'm not just cute.
[06:02] ---
    I even greet the local blockheads
    with a smile.
[06:06] ---
    By believing that a pretty girl likes them,
    they can live another day.
[06:11] ---
    I am a pretty girl who is also kind.
[06:14] ---
    But someone as perfect as myself
    has things to get super upset about.
[06:19] ---
    I wanted to get back at that bitch,
    so I spread rumors that she's a slut.
[06:24] ---
    But the rumor isn't spreading much.
    So maddening!
[06:27] ---
    They just don't get it at all.
[06:30] ---
    She's a demon.
[06:34] ---
    I saw it clearly back then.
[06:39] ---
    She had demon wings on her back!
[06:43] ---
    Momo Ayase.
    She's definitely a demon!
[06:49] ---
    But since I suddenly became
    able to see things like that,
[06:53] ---
    then I must be a chosen individual!
[06:57] ---
    I had hunches that I was.
[06:59] ---
    I mean, I'm all too pretty!
[07:02] ---
    As proof, this fell down from the sky.
[07:07] ---
    A golden ball!
[07:09] ---
    This is telling me to save this world
    from evil demons!
[07:17] ---
    I get it! I'll do it!
[07:20] ---
    I mean, after all, I am a pretty girl!
[09:00] ---
    Ouch!
SIGN    EPISODE 6 A DANGEROUS WOMAN ARRIVES
[09:02] ---
    Ow! So annoying!
[09:04] ---
    What is this?
[09:06] ---
    A marble?
[09:18] ---
    Huh?
[09:55] ---
    Aira!
[09:58] ---
    I brought that thing you wanted.
[10:00] ---
    I only borrowed it, so be careful.
[10:01] ---
    I finally have all the equipment I need.
SIGN    HOLY BLESSINGS AND BANISHMENT PRAYERS
[10:12] ---
    Doesn't this smell oily?
    Is this cross genuine?
[10:15] ---
    How should I know?
[10:17] ---
    Hey, are you really doing this?
[10:19] ---
    Of course I am!
[10:20] ---
    I have been chosen
    because I'm just too beautiful.
[10:25] ---
    I must save the world!
[10:29] ---
    I'll believe you because I'm your friend,
    but Aira, you've been weird lately.
[10:33] ---
    What you're trying to do now
    is kinda strange, too.
[10:37] ---
    Hold on a second! What is that!?
[10:41] ---
    There's a woman in a red dress!
[10:48] ---
    Sorry. We don't see it at all.
[10:50] ---
    It can't be! That must be her familiar!
[10:53] ---
    Momo Ayase is trying to spy on us!
[10:56] ---
    Both of you, get low!
    Her familiar will find us!
[11:00] ---
    Shiratori, what are you doing?
[11:03] ---
    It's a bit hot today,
    so I was feeling how cold the wall is.
[11:07] ---
    Shiratori, you're such a ditz.
[11:09] ---
    Hey, I am not!
    But people often say that I am.
[11:14] ---
    So pesky.
SIGN    WE'RE GONNA DO IT AFTER SCHOOL. YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT!
[11:21] ---
    You really are a ditz.
[11:22] ---
    - Oh no, you're getting Aira in trouble!
    - Right? Yeah, no doubt.
[11:31] ---
    Hey.
[11:33] ---
    Yes?
[11:34] ---
    I'm telling you to look at me!
[11:36] ---
    I'm watching over Turbo Granny
    so she doesn't run off somewhere!
[11:39] ---
    You won't be able to stop me.
[11:41] ---
    Wait, why is Granny at school!?
[11:44] ---
    Huh? Why do I have to take orders
    from ya?
[11:48] ---
    Cuz you lost against me.
[11:50] ---
    Bring it on, punk! I'll take you on!
[11:52] ---
    - Yeah! Come at me!
    - I'll get you!
[11:54] ---
    Anyway, Turbo Granny said
    she found a strange woman.
[11:59] ---
    Why don't we talk about that?
[12:01] ---
    That's right. Don't think I was just
    simply strolling around the school.
[12:06] ---
    I was looking for them golden balls, too.
[12:08] ---
    Huh? Why would the golden balls
    be at school, idiot?
[12:13] ---
    All right, you're dead meat.
    Goodbye to you!
[12:15] ---
    It's worth a search, I think.
[12:17] ---
    I didn't think about it, but there's a possibility
    that a human, and not a yokai, picked them up.
[12:22] ---
    It looks like a pretty ball made of gold.
[12:26] ---
    It wouldn't be a surprise
    if anyone picked it up.
[12:29] ---
    However, if a human picked it up,
    it might awaken their spiritual powers
[12:34] ---
    and depending on the person,
    allow them to see spirits.
[12:37] ---
    The fact they can see spirits means
    the spirits can see them, too.
[12:41] ---
    There's the danger
    that they might get attacked.
[12:44] ---
    That's terrible.
    You should've said so earlier!
[12:47] ---
    Who is this strange woman?
[12:49] ---
    I don't know her name.
[12:52] ---
    I'll go introduce her to you after school.
[12:57] ---
    Momo Ayase!
[12:58] ---
    Just how much power does she have?
[13:02] ---
    Can I defeat her with just the cross
    and the holy book they got for me?
[13:07] ---
    Besides, she has a familiar.
[13:10] ---
    Can I take both of them on at once?
[13:14] ---
    She's getting closer!
[13:16] ---
    The woman in the red dress!
[13:22] ---
    Okarun!
[13:24] ---
    All right, time to go look!
[13:26] ---
    Where's Granny?
[13:27] ---
    She's in my backpack.
[13:30] ---
    Miss Momo Ayase.
[13:34] ---
    I need to talk to you. Alone.
[13:40] ---
    Huh? What? I'm busy right now.
[13:44] ---
    It'll be over quickly, so please.
[13:47] ---
    This girl is the one
    who I dropped the washtub onto.
[13:49] ---
    Has she caught onto something?
[13:51] ---
    It might get annoying later,
    so I guess I'll go.
[13:54] ---
    Okarun, go ahead and start looking.
[13:57] ---
    I'll join you later!
[13:58] ---
    What?
[14:00] ---
    Okay.
[14:02] ---
    Oh, brother. I'm not sure
    if I can look for it alone.
[14:06] ---
    It's her.
[14:07] ---
    Huh?
[14:15] ---
    You brought me all the way here.
    What'd you wanna talk about?
[14:28] ---
    Die, demon!
[14:30] ---
    It stinks! It smells oily! What is it?
[14:33] ---
    O demon, return to the world
    you belong in!
[14:37] ---
    Hold her legs!
    Make sure she doesn't move!
[14:41] ---
    You idiots!
[14:50] ---
    There they are! The demon wings!
[14:52] ---
    The cross isn't working!
[14:54] ---
    If that's the case...
[14:57] ---
    If I use the golden ball
    I received from the heavens...
[15:03] ---
    That's...
[15:04] ---
    So you picked up the ball?
[15:07] ---
    You know about this ball?
[15:09] ---
    I won't give this ball to you!
[15:11] ---
    This is a sacred ball
    that I was given to save the world with!
[15:15] ---
    No way! That's Okarun's family jewels!
    Give it back, moron!
[15:19] ---
    You're the worst!
[15:20] ---
    How dare you say that
    to the sacred ball! How vulgar!
[15:24] ---
    Damn you!
[15:25] ---
    Ouch! Are you
    a complete idiot?
[15:26] ---
    Don't revere someone else's
    nutsack so much!
[15:29] ---
    Miss Ayase! I found it!
[15:31] ---
    Okarun! You're a serious lifesaver!
[15:33] ---
    She's got your ball!
    She's the strange woman!
[15:37] ---
    He's on her side?
[15:38] ---
    That's not true!
    She's not the strange woman!
[15:41] ---
    She's the one who's being targeted
    by the strange woman.
[15:47] ---
    I finally have you now, Aira.
[15:53] ---
    I've been waiting all this time
    until you became able to see me.
[16:03] ---
    Mommy!
[16:07] ---
    Here's Mommy!
[16:10] ---
    The familiar!
[16:14] ---
    Okarun! Do it!
[16:16] ---
    Okay!
[16:23] ---
    What a surprise!
[16:26] ---
    Are you after my little Aira?
[16:29] ---
    You were a demon, too?
[16:32] ---
    Man, I hate this...
[16:33] ---
    I wanna go home.
[16:36] ---
    I feel so withered...
[16:40] ---
    I won't let you have Aira!
[16:46] ---
    Okarun!
[16:47] ---
    Don't you just be eating him!
[16:50] ---
    Come on!
[16:54] ---
    Damn it!
[16:55] ---
    My hands are tied
    so I can't control it the way I want!
[17:06] ---
    We finally meet, Aira.
[17:10] ---
    I waited for over ten years
    for you to look at me, Aira.
[17:15] ---
    Hey, you! You're not
    Momo Ayase's familiar?
[17:19] ---
    Don't "Hey you" me, moron!
[17:21] ---
    I am your Mommy!
[17:22] ---
    Just how much do you think
    that I've loved you?
[17:26] ---
    You called me Mommy back then!
[17:30] ---
    I was so happy about that.
[17:32] ---
    It was the first time
    you said anything like that.
[17:35] ---
    Please call me that one more time.
[17:40] ---
    Now, call me Mommy!
[17:43] ---
    Hey, damn old hag.
[17:44] ---
    Give Okarun back.
[17:48] ---
    I thought assaulting humans
    was against the rules!
[17:52] ---
    Each and every one of you...
[17:54] ---
    I am in the middle
    of an emotional reunion here.
[17:57] ---
    Hold it, Momo Ayase!
    What in the world is this thing?
[18:00] ---
    Is it possible that you're enemies
    with this demon?
[18:03] ---
    If so, why don't we cooperate
    and defeat this demon together?
[18:06] ---
    What the hell are you talking about?
[18:08] ---
    Whew, that was close.
[18:12] ---
    I was about to be that thing's side dish.
[18:14] ---
    Turbo Granny!
[18:18] ---
    That's Acrobatic Silky.
[18:21] ---
    Wait, that's Muko's phone!
[18:24] ---
    You pilfered it to do internet searches?
[18:26] ---
    Let's see. A red dress, acrobatic movements,
    and silky hair.
[18:31] ---
    You're a yokai yourself,
    but you don't know anything about her?
[18:34] ---
    I don't care about rookie nobodies.
[18:38] ---
    I am a chosen one!
    Because I'm too pretty!
[18:42] ---
    I defeat monsters like you!
[18:45] ---
    Aira-chan, what did you just say?
[18:48] ---
    I'm going to defeat monsters like you,
    and uphold world peace!
[18:55] ---
    Knock it off! Why are you
    chomping 'em all down?
[19:00] ---
    It's all your fault!
[19:01] ---
    You tempted Aira
    into becoming a delinquent!
[19:05] ---
    She called me a monster!
[19:07] ---
    She would never have said that before!
[19:11] ---
    Granny, hurry up and get this zip tie off!
[19:13] ---
    Oh, that's impossible.
[19:14] ---
    Come on, cooperate a little bit!
[19:16] ---
    She just ate Okarun!
[19:18] ---
    This'll be bad for me to face alone!
[19:20] ---
    You guys were the ones
    who took my power from me.
[19:23] ---
    I can't do anything for ya.
[19:26] ---
    No way!
[19:32] ---
    First, how about you apologize!
[19:34] ---
    It's all your fault, after all!
[19:37] ---
    Now, say it!
[19:40] ---
    Piece of crap.
[19:42] ---
    Girgle.
[19:47] ---
    My acrobatics are like a violent storm!
[19:51] ---
    Ensnaring anything and everything,
    then swing them away!
[19:59] ---
    Here!
[20:01] ---
    Oh, you're such a hopeless child.
[20:05] ---
    This is Aira's special privilege, but if you want
    to say it that badly, you may.
[20:10] ---
    Try saying "Mommy" right now.
    I'll forgive you if you do.
[20:15] ---
    Come on!
[20:18] ---
    I can't hear you.
[20:20] ---
    You have to say it properly.
    Ready? "M-O-M-M-Y."
[20:27] ---
    I told you to say it, damn brat!
[20:29] ---
    Say, "Mommy"!
[20:30] ---
    You...
[20:31] ---
    Piece of crap.
[20:43] ---
    Where is my baby?
[20:47] ---
    Come on now, you got gobbled up.
[20:50] ---
    Hey, nobody.
[20:52] ---
    I'm still willing to forgive you,
    so return the brats you swallowed.
[20:56] ---
    What are you?
    Can you not speak to me right now?
[21:01] ---
    Why don't you speak politely, punk!
    I am your elder by far.
[21:05] ---
    Sounds like you've got a death wish.
[21:08] ---
    A beckoning cat supposedly has the ability
    to beckon over some good fortune.
[21:14] ---
    You ate some hair when you ate Momo.
[21:18] ---
    So hot!
[21:20] ---
    What is this!? My hair is burning!
[21:22] ---
    It's burning inside my body, too!
[21:24] ---
    What did you do to me,
    you foul feline?
[21:27] ---
    That cross that the girl
    was holding was a lighter.
[21:33] ---
    Momo took that lighter
    and lit your hair on fire.
[21:37] ---
    There's nothing combustible
    inside your body.
[21:40] ---
    But you coincidentally ate your own hair.
[21:44] ---
    Such fortuity becomes inevitability
    because I'm here.
[21:58] ---
    So hot!
[21:59] ---
    Miss Ayase, that's being too reckless!
[22:01] ---
    Huh? Okarun, you were the first to be eaten!
    Don't preach to me!
[22:05] ---
    Rescue successful!
[22:07] ---
    Time for the counterattack, damn it!
[23:44] ---
    I will uphold peace in this world!
SIGN    EPISODE 7 TO A KINDER WORLD
[23:52] ---
    Next episode, "To a Kinder World"

Season 1

7 - To a Kinder World

Season 1

8 - I've Got This Funny Feeling

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:28] ---
    Hey.
[00:30] ---
    The reason why you hate me so much is cuz
    I dropped a washtub on your head, right?
[00:37] ---
    I have no intent
    on being chummy with you.
[00:40] ---
    But I don't feel like
    being enemies, either.
[00:43] ---
    I went a bit too far that time.
[00:45] ---
    Sorry.
[00:50] ---
    So you, too.
[00:51] ---
    Apologize to Okarun since
    you made fun of him.
[00:55] ---
    Then we'll call it even, okay?
[00:58] ---
    You really don't get it at all, Momo Ayase.
[01:03] ---
    I wouldn't call you my sworn enemy
    because of a washtub.
[01:07] ---
    I'm after you because I'm positive
    that you're a demon!
[01:15] ---
    I told you that I wasn't!
[01:17] ---
    You're nothing but trouble if you poke at me
    because of a misunderstanding!
[01:20] ---
    Then what the hell is he!?
[01:23] ---
    Takakura-kun fighting Acrobatic Silky
    looked just like a demon.
[01:29] ---
    Besides!
[01:30] ---
    There's no way she's your grandmother!
[01:33] ---
    She's too pretty and way too young!
[01:35] ---
    What's that?
[01:37] ---
    She's a really good girl!
[01:39] ---
    Yeah, Momo is a demon.
[01:40] ---
    You shut up, old hag!
    You're complicating things!
[01:44] ---
    I knew it.
[01:46] ---
    Takakura-kun and Auntie are demons.
[01:48] ---
    And you're the big boss in charge of them!
[01:51] ---
    You're trying to destroy the world, I bet.
SIGN    ARE YOU A TOTAL IDIOT!?
SIGN    IF I HAD SUCH POWERS, I'D START OFF
SIGN    BY BLOWING YOUR HEAD OFF!
SIGN    DON'T GO DAYDREAMING LIKE SOME EIGHTH GRADER!
SIGN    BLOW MY HEAD OFF?
SIGN    BLOW MY HEAD OFF? NOW YOU'RE SHOWING YOUR TRUE COLORS!
SIGN    BLOW MY HEAD OFF? NOW YOU'RE SHOWING YOUR TRUE COLORS! RIGHT NOW, I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH POWER TO BEAT YOU.
SIGN    BUT I'M SURE I'LL BECOME STRONGER AND BEAT YOU!
SIGN    SOUNDS GREAT! TRY ME IF YOU CAN!
SIGN    SOUNDS GREAT! TRY ME IF YOU CAN! I'LL BEAT YOU TO A PULP!
SIGN    SOUNDS LIKE YOU UNDERESTIMATE ME,
SIGN    SOUNDS LIKE YOU UNDERESTIMATE ME, BUT YOU'RE FORGETTING ONE THING.
SIGN    SOUNDS LIKE YOU UNDERESTIMATE ME, BUT YOU'RE FORGETTING ONE THING. I HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO PROTECT WORLD PEACE!
[02:31] ---
    Because I'm just too cute!
[02:35] ---
    Thanks for having me!
[02:36] ---
    The somen noodles were tasty, Auntie!
[02:38] ---
    Hold on, damn you!
[02:39] ---
    I'm not done talking to you!
[02:42] ---
    Keep trying hard, Aira.
    Blow Momo away!
[02:46] ---
    Auntie here is cheering for you.
[02:48] ---
    Damn it, you old hag!
    Why are you rooting for her?
[02:51] ---
    Huh?
[02:53] ---
    Takakura-kun.
[02:56] ---
    Despite being a demon,
    you tried to save me multiple times.
[03:02] ---
    Why?
[03:05] ---
    It's because he's not a demon!
[03:09] ---
    I have no reason.
[03:12] ---
    If someone's in trouble,
    you'd help them, wouldn't you?
[03:16] ---
    I see.
[03:18] ---
    You still have a human heart left in you.
[03:22] ---
    I will make sure to liberate you
    from Momo Ayase's control!
[03:35] ---
    Hey! What was that?
[03:36] ---
    She's got a tremendous misunderstanding.
[03:38] ---
    There's something
    seriously wrong with her!
[03:42] ---
    This feeling is so wrong.
[03:45] ---
    I'm a human, and he's a demon.
[03:50] ---
    It's wrong!
[05:24] ---
    Hold on!
[05:25] ---
    Can't you do this a bit more normally!?
[05:27] ---
    Quit your whining.
[05:29] ---
    I'm putting yer ball back in for ya.
[05:33] ---
    Let's play a tight game!
SIGN    THE POWER OF NESSIE
[05:38] ---
    - And why're you trying to bat?
    - Pitcher's jittery! Hey, hey, hey!
[05:42] ---
    Jittery? Who're ya talkin' to?
[05:47] ---
    When you see my Turbo Granny Ball...
[05:50] ---
    you won't be spoutin' such nonsense!
[05:55] ---
    Such cheeky talk!
[06:09] ---
    Strike! Batter out!
[06:11] ---
    When a ball strikes your nuts,
    ya gotta jump!
[06:13] ---
    No!
[06:16] ---
    So? Is it back in there?
[06:18] ---
    It's back!
[06:20] ---
    I have one ball back!
[06:23] ---
    - Hurray!
    - All right!
[06:24] ---
    That pitch was high and inside.
[06:27] ---
    I'll hit it next time.
[06:28] ---
    Smokin' ball, huh?
[06:31] ---
    Good for you, Okarun.
    You got a testicle back.
[06:34] ---
    It's so embarrassing!
[06:36] ---
    That aside...
[06:37] ---
    We have no clues for the other one.
[06:41] ---
    You're right.
[06:42] ---
    Okarun, you don't have a computer?
[06:45] ---
    Can't you look at occult forums
    or something?
[06:47] ---
    I'm sorry, I don't have one.
[06:50] ---
    Guess I'll add more part-time jobs
    and buy a smartphone.
[06:52] ---
    A four-year loan is a serious rip-off.
[06:56] ---
    So I'll see you at the roof during lunch?
[07:00] ---
    U-Um, I'm sorry, Miss Ayase.
[07:05] ---
    I'd like to work on a report during lunch.
[07:09] ---
    Oh. I see.
[07:12] ---
    Wanna head to an internet café
    after school?
[07:15] ---
    I'm sorry. I also have
    something after school.
[07:22] ---
    All right. I get it.
SIGN    I'VE GOT THIS FUNNY FEELING
SIGN    EPISODE 8 I'VE GOT THIS FUNNY FEELING
[07:26] ---
    I'm starving.
[07:28] ---
    Let's eat together!
[07:30] ---
    Huh? Where's Okarun?
[07:32] ---
    He said he's working on a report.
[07:34] ---
    So noble! Maybe I'll have him
    work on mine, too.
[07:36] ---
    Okarun is so serious.
[07:41] ---
    But it's kinda suspicious.
[07:44] ---
    Huh? What's that?
[07:45] ---
    It's like totally obvious
    that he's hiding something.
[07:48] ---
    A scent of a woman?
[07:51] ---
    No.
[07:53] ---
    Okarun's the last person
    I'd suspect that, but...
[07:58] ---
    Nah. It couldn't be.
[08:02] ---
    I'm gonna go buy a drink.
[08:04] ---
    Then can you get me one, too?
    A Pompy.
SIGN    POMPY ORANGE
[08:16] ---
    What is this?
[08:18] ---
    I feel so uneasy.
[08:22] ---
    Should I peek into Class C?
[08:26] ---
    No, I don't want to bother him.
[08:29] ---
    He's writing a report after all.
[08:51] ---
    Fourteen... Fifteen... Sixteen...
    Seventeen... Eighteen...
[08:58] ---
    Nineteen... Twenty.
[09:04] ---
    I'm no good like this.
[09:06] ---
    As I look for my golden ball,
[09:09] ---
    I'm sure another dangerous monster
    will show up, and I'll have to fight it.
[09:18] ---
    Push-ups, sit-ups,
    back extensions, and squats.
[09:23] ---
    Five sets, 100 reps each.
[09:25] ---
    I have to become strong.
    A lot stronger.
[09:29] ---
    If I don't, I'll be putting
    Miss Ayase in harm's way.
[09:34] ---
    Takakura-kun.
[09:39] ---
    Miss Shiratori.
[09:43] ---
    D-Do you need something?
[09:46] ---
    You're a demon, and I'm a human.
[09:51] ---
    I know that it will never be...
[09:53] ---
    I'm not a demon, though.
[09:56] ---
    I can't hold back how I feel!
[09:58] ---
    Takakura-kun! You just stay still!
[10:00] ---
    - Huh? What the...
    - Don't move.
[10:02] ---
    - Just close your eyes.
    - But...
[10:13] ---
    Hey!
[10:14] ---
    Why are you dodging me?
    You're so weird, Takakura-kun!
[10:17] ---
    Wait.
[10:18] ---
    You're the weird one!
[10:20] ---
    Why would you do that out of the blue?
[10:21] ---
    I mean...
[10:22] ---
    I mean, when you confess your love,
    you have to kiss that person, right?
[10:25] ---
    Huh!?
[10:26] ---
    It said so in a book!
SIGN    WEEKLY TRUE ACCOUNTS FULL NUDE PHOTOS "JUNGLE SPRING"
[10:28] ---
    That confessing equals a kiss!
[10:30] ---
    And that it's the responsibility
    of the guy to accept that confession!
[10:34] ---
    That's a mistake!
[10:35] ---
    What did you use as your reference?
[10:37] ---
    U-Um...
SIGN    ROMANCE MANUAL VOL.8 (R-18)
[10:39] ---
    It was the one in Dad's study!
[10:41] ---
    That's something completely different!
[10:44] ---
    Miss Shiratori, you're totally popular
    with all the boys.
[10:47] ---
    Why are you acting like
    you're an amateur in relationships?
[10:49] ---
    - You like mature lips?
    - I didn't say that!
[10:52] ---
    Can you stop this?
[10:54] ---
    A popular girl
    shouldn't be doing something like this.
[10:56] ---
    Don't equate popularity and romance!
[10:59] ---
    You don't know the effort
    behind popularity!
[11:01] ---
    And I'm not an amateur in relationships!
[11:03] ---
    I just don't know about them!
    Don't mock me!
[11:05] ---
    That's exactly who the phrase describes!
[11:08] ---
    And right now,
    you've got every last thing wrong!
[11:11] ---
    I've never felt this way before.
    Let me confess!
[11:15] ---
    A-Are you insane!?
[11:18] ---
    Or are you possessed
    by something again?
[11:20] ---
    Hold on, Miss Shiratori.
[11:51] ---
    Um, uh...
[11:53] ---
    Takakura-kun.
[11:55] ---
    Hurry up.
[12:00] ---
    No, wait. This is...
[12:02] ---
    Why you little turd...
[12:07] ---
    Miss Ayase! You got it wrong!
[12:09] ---
    This is nothing like what you think.
[12:11] ---
    You said you were going to work on a report,
    but you're making out with that damn girl.
[12:16] ---
    You took your jacket off
    and you're even sweating.
[12:18] ---
    What's that on your arms?
    Part of your kinky play?
[12:20] ---
    I have reasons for all of this!
[12:23] ---
    I don't want to hear excuses.
[12:25] ---
    Was the report thing a lie?
[12:27] ---
    Th-That was a lie.
[12:29] ---
    I've had enough.
[12:30] ---
    But there's a reason for...
[12:32] ---
    I said, I've had enough!
SIGN    POMPY ORANGE
[12:43] ---
    Where's my Pompy?
[12:45] ---
    I gave it to the ground.
[12:46] ---
    What's that? A new gag?
[12:49] ---
    They didn't have any?
[12:51] ---
    - Hold on. I'm thinking right now.
    - Huh?
SIGN    STRIKING QUICKLY WITH RAPTORIAL LIMBS, IT BREAKS CLAMS TO EAT. DURING TERRITORIAL BATTLES AGAINST OTHER MANTIS SHRIMP IS WHEN THEY ALSO UNLEASH PUNCHES.
[12:55] ---
    A mantis shrimp's punches
    clock at 80 kilometers per hour.
[12:58] ---
    It has the force of roughly 150 kilograms.
[13:01] ---
    If you scale it to human size,
    it's roughly 700 tons.
[13:04] ---
    You can defeat elephants with such a punch.
[13:06] ---
    It's this effective underwater
    with all that resistance.
[13:10] ---
    How destructive do you think it'd be
    if it was unleashed in air?
[13:14] ---
    Actually, that's still an unknown.
[13:16] ---
    Because a mantis shrimp is thought
    to hold back on its punches while in air.
[13:19] ---
    I see, I see. You too have times when
    you simply want to punch something.
[13:21] ---
    Perhaps the mantis shrimp realizes that
    because its punches have too much force.
[13:24] ---
    She just talked to a mantis shrimp!
[13:25] ---
    Unleashing one in the air may injure
    its joints at best, and burst its arm at worst.
[13:26] ---
    She's got it pretty bad.
[13:39] ---
    There is...
[13:41] ---
    ...no mistake.
[13:42] ---
    She's been possessed
    by the spirit of a mantis shrimp!
[13:47] ---
    Miss Ayase is right about this.
[13:49] ---
    It's pointless to make excuses.
[13:52] ---
    If I'd gotten stronger without
    her knowing, I thought it'd be kinda cool.
[13:56] ---
    I even made an effort to lie.
[13:58] ---
    I've sown the seeds myself.
[14:00] ---
    If I care about Miss Ayase,
[14:03] ---
    I shouldn't make excuses,
    and just get stronger!
[14:20] ---
    Hey! Is anyone here!?
[14:25] ---
    Miss Shiratori!
[14:27] ---
    Takakura-kun!
[14:29] ---
    Miss Shiratori, where's everyone else?
[14:31] ---
    What's going on?
[14:33] ---
    It's pitch black outside the window.
    What happened?
[14:37] ---
    Can this be Momo Ayase's doing?
[14:40] ---
    Come to think, where's Miss Ayase?
[14:44] ---
    Miss Ayase, are you in here?
[14:46] ---
    She's not here.
[14:49] ---
    This feeling... I've experienced
    something similar in the past.
[14:58] ---
    Damn it. I'm completely locked in.
[15:01] ---
    This seriously sucks!
[15:04] ---
    The water level is rising, too!
[15:07] ---
    I wonder what happened to Okarun.
[15:09] ---
    Or is this only happening to me?
[15:11] ---
    Sheesh! When I think about him,
    I get so pissed off!
[15:15] ---
    What's up with this water, anyway!?
[15:24] ---
    What the...
[15:27] ---
    Something's totally approaching.
[16:00] ---
    What is that? A dinosaur?
[17:51] ---
    Sheesh! Is Okarun not here?
[17:56] ---
    What was that sound?
[17:59] ---
    I don't know.
    But it sounded like an explosion.
[18:01] ---
    Hey, what exactly
    is this situation we're in?
[18:04] ---
    Are you and Momo Ayase
    trying to frame me?
[18:07] ---
    Of course not.
    I'd like to ask what's going on myself.
[18:11] ---
    But something similar to this
    happened in the past.
[18:14] ---
    It was pitch black outside,
    and we were completely walled in.
[18:19] ---
    What did you do back then?
[18:21] ---
    Well, when we defeated the alien,
    it went back to normal.
[18:25] ---
    Alien?
[18:27] ---
    Hold on a second. Aliens exist?
[18:30] ---
    They do!
[18:31] ---
    To be honest, they're even worse
    than yokai monsters!
[18:33] ---
    Huh? Then why do aliens assault us?
[18:36] ---
    Well, I don't know.
[18:39] ---
    It seems like they're collecting
    human reproductive organs.
[18:46] ---
    Chiquitita, you have a dream?
[18:51] ---
    Chi-Chiquitita, Chi-Chiquitita-chi.
[18:55] ---
    Chiquitita. Chiquitita, you have a dream?
[18:58] ---
    Chi-Chiquitita, Chi-Chi-Chiquitita.
[19:01] ---
    Chi-Chi-Chiquitita.
    Sh-Shy my chotchiki for you.
[19:03] ---
    This makes me wilt.
[19:05] ---
    Chi-Chiquitita, Chi-Chi-Chiquitita-chi.
[19:07] ---
    Man, what a bother.
[19:08] ---
    Chi-Chi-Chiquitita.
    Chiquitita, you have a dream?
[19:09] ---
    It's impossible for me to protect a girl.
[19:10] ---
    Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chiquitita.
[19:12] ---
    Chi-Chi-Chiquitita.
    Chi-Chi-Chiquitita.
[19:15] ---
    Sh-Shy my chotchiki for you.
[19:17] ---
    Uh, ah, west and east.
[19:17] ---
    Aira-chan. You're in the way, so get lost.
[19:20] ---
    "A-Aira-chan"?
[19:20] ---
    Uh, ah, north and south.
[19:22] ---
    We haven't even kissed yet.
    Don't call me that!
[19:24] ---
    Uh, ah, morning, noon, and night.
[19:25] ---
    I feel so droopy.
[19:28] ---
    We're gig workers.
[19:36] ---
    Takakura-kun!
[19:40] ---
    We finally meet, man person.
[19:44] ---
    Serpoians.
[19:47] ---
    Hold on, you guys!
[19:49] ---
    Get away from him!
[19:51] ---
    I will take you on!
[19:52] ---
    Miss Shiratori, run for it!
[19:55] ---
    These guys target women!
[20:01] ---
    Miss Shiratori!
[20:03] ---
    We adjusted this void space so that
    only those with high spirituality can enter.
[20:09] ---
    Is the apparatus malfunctioning?
[20:11] ---
    We came here because
    we just want your banana organs.
[20:15] ---
    We want it.
[20:17] ---
    We want it.
[20:18] ---
    Damn it!
[20:19] ---
    Why is everything after my junk?
[20:23] ---
    Because it's something good.
[20:25] ---
    You have an amazing power
    that surpasses our scientific technology.
[20:31] ---
    We want your abilities.
[20:34] ---
    We'd love to experiment on you...
[20:36] ---
    ...and transplant your abilities to us.
[20:40] ---
    That's the power of a curse.
[20:42] ---
    It's not my own abilities
    or anything like that!
[20:45] ---
    I personally have less physical power
    than the average person!
[20:50] ---
    Curse? What kind of
    banana organ condition is that?
[20:54] ---
    Like I'd know!
[20:56] ---
    Damn it. I can't transform at all.
[20:59] ---
    It feels like when Miss Ayase is holding back
    the curse with her psychic powers.
[21:13] ---
    Then let's get to it...
[21:15] ---
    ...and perform the operation.
[21:18] ---
    First, let us cut off the banana organ.
[21:23] ---
    Stop it!
[21:24] ---
    I still only have one testicle!
[21:40] ---
    It seems that
    I am the chosen one after all.
[21:52] ---
    Let go of Takakura-sama!
[23:27] ---
    I'm human, and he's a demon.
[23:30] ---
    I know it's wrong,
    but I can't hold these feelings back.
[23:32] ---
    I'm going to save Takakura-sama from the hands
    of the evil boss demon, Momo Ayase!
[23:36] ---
    I told you, you're wrong!
SIGN    EPISODE 9 MERGE! SERPO DOVER DEMON NESSIE!
[23:37] ---
    Next episode,
    "Merge! Serpo Dover Demon Nessie!"
[23:40] ---
    Listen to me!

Season 1

9 - Merge! Serpo Dover Demon Nessie!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] ---
    A-Acrobatic Silky?
[00:05] ---
    Ouch!
[00:07] ---
    Takakura-sama, are you all right?
[00:09] ---
    Ow.
[00:11] ---
    What a lewd state you are in!
[00:13] ---
    To expose yourself to me like that...
[00:16] ---
    It must mean you're presuming
    a betrothal already!
[00:18] ---
    Very well!
[00:20] ---
    You have powers as well?
[00:22] ---
    I see, so that is why you were able
    to enter our void space.
[00:27] ---
    We will take your banana organs
    while we're at it.
[00:29] ---
    - Labor, labor...
    - Hold on!
[00:31] ---
    Let me put something on!
[00:32] ---
    Takakura-sama, I will deal with them!
[00:35] ---
    Full of defects, covered in mud,
    that's fine, that's fine.
[00:39] ---
    Yup, that's fine, that's fine, now...
    Labor!
[00:45] ---
    Serpoian Form Serpogrammetry!
[00:51] ---
    Wait up!
[00:53] ---
    Don't include me in your attack!
[00:55] ---
    You're a cheap hire. There are
    countless replacements for you.
[00:58] ---
    What was that just now?
[01:00] ---
    I feel like I crashed into an invisible wall.
[01:03] ---
    Snap!
[01:05] ---
    Chiquitita, you have a dream?
    Shy my chotchiki for you.
[01:08] ---
    Chiquitita, you wake from a dream?
[01:09] ---
    Shy my chotchiki for you.
[01:12] ---
    This is...
[01:14] ---
    This is...
[01:15] ---
    Where are the clothes?
[01:17] ---
    Jet Punch!
[01:24] ---
    That's a respectable punch.
[01:26] ---
    Thank you, deez!
[01:28] ---
    But if it doesn't connect,
    it's not much of anything.
[01:32] ---
    Snap!
SIGN    TAKAKURA
[01:37] ---
    Serpoian Form Serpogrammetry!
[01:39] ---
    Hold it! Stop that!
[01:41] ---
    What a nuisance!
[01:43] ---
    You seem to be in love with me.
[01:46] ---
    Not one bit.
[01:47] ---
    I'm sorry. I already have
    someone in my heart.
[01:51] ---
    But I'll give you as many chances
    as you need to try to win my heart.
[01:56] ---
    That is...
[02:00] ---
    ...the conditions of an attractive lady.
[02:02] ---
    Argh! My head is stuck!
[02:05] ---
    Now, I'll take the nuisance...
[02:10] ---
    I have caught you, woman person.
[02:14] ---
    What is this? It's going to crush me!
[02:16] ---
    You just thought, "You can use psychic powers
    even without saying Serpogrammetry," yes?
[02:22] ---
    I don't care about any of that!
[02:23] ---
    I didn't overlook the fact
    that you dropped your guard.
[02:27] ---
    I don't care about that!
    Just let me out of this!
[02:29] ---
    But this is quite interesting.
[02:31] ---
    There are multiple persons with special powers
    in the same location.
[02:35] ---
    There is hope for us
    to seek further evolution.
[02:38] ---
    Your movements are remarkable...
[02:41] ---
    ...but you are not all too powerful.
[02:43] ---
    This wasn't in the plans, but we will take
    your banana organs as well while we're at it.
[02:48] ---
    I am the chosen one!
    I won't lose to the likes of you!
[02:52] ---
    The light of hope will come
    from the heavens and—
[02:53] ---
    Chiquitita.
[03:03] ---
    That's right. You have been chosen.
[03:06] ---
    Chosen for our evolution.
[03:08] ---
    Now, let's begin.
[03:09] ---
    Hold on just a second!
[03:25] ---
    You were after me, weren't you?
[03:29] ---
    I'll take you on right now!
[03:32] ---
    Takakura-sama! You're still...
[03:34] ---
    There are things that are
    more important than clothes!
[03:46] ---
    Man, I hate this. I wanna go home...
[03:49] ---
    That's right, that's right.
    We want your banana organs.
[03:53] ---
    However...
[03:55] ---
    We can do both of you simultaneously.
[03:57] ---
    As long as there are three of us.
[04:01] ---
    This is...
[04:02] ---
    The transformation is wearing off.
[04:05] ---
    This is possible when the three of us
    combine our psychokinesis.
[04:09] ---
    The Awesome Zone.
[04:12] ---
    Inside this area...
[04:13] ---
    ...all transformations...
[04:14] ---
    ...let alone standing up...
[04:16] ---
    ...will be impossible.
[04:17] ---
    - However...
    - ...this...
[04:18] ---
    - ...has...
    - ...one...
[04:20] ---
    ...flaw.
[04:21] ---
    We cannot enter there, either.
[04:24] ---
    Thus...
[04:28] ---
    We will have him beat you up
    until you can no longer move.
[04:32] ---
    Stop that! If you do that, he'll die!
[04:35] ---
    Please, stop!
[04:52] ---
    Impossible!
[04:52] ---
    He broke through the Awesome Zone?
[04:54] ---
    No, he didn't!
[04:55] ---
    Our psychokinesis
    is being repelled by someone!
[04:59] ---
    Oh no! The woman person is here!
[05:01] ---
    Momo-chan, I really missed you.
[05:04] ---
    Okarun, you moron!
[05:05] ---
    Don't you be making out with that bitch!
[05:09] ---
    I'd never forget your damn faces!
SIGN    EPISODE 9
    MERGE!
    SERPO DOVER DEMON NESSIE!
[06:50] ---
    Momo-chan, I really missed you.
[06:52] ---
    Shut up! Don't look at me, you perv!
[06:55] ---
    Until we harvest
    the man person's banana organ...
[06:57] ---
    ...we wanted the woman person
    under confinement! That's what we told it!
[07:00] ---
    What exactly is that thing doing?
[07:02] ---
    It's annoying that Momo Ayase is rescuing me,
    but I have no choice.
[07:06] ---
    You shall lend us a hand!
[07:07] ---
    Wait, is that Acro-Silky?
[07:09] ---
    I'll help you out, but I won't let you
    have Ken Takakura-sama!
[07:14] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[07:15] ---
    Come on, Momo Ayase!
    What are you doing?
[07:17] ---
    You have to hold them back
    with your magic!
[07:19] ---
    I don't know how,
    but we have the advantage!
[07:22] ---
    Let's wake up the Gig Worker now!
[07:25] ---
    Damn it! Do your job properly
    or we'll lower your pay!
[07:28] ---
    Sorry, this is a bit impossible.
[07:30] ---
    You're such a bother!
[07:33] ---
    No! Anything but that!
[07:36] ---
    Stop!
[07:39] ---
    Yellow and black
    is the mark of courage.
[07:43] ---
    Are you able to fight 24 hours?
[07:47] ---
    Regain, Regain, our own Regain.
[07:51] ---
    The mark of courage on our briefcases.
[07:55] ---
    Can you fight far off in a distant world?
[07:59] ---
    Business Man!
[08:01] ---
    Business Man!
[08:03] ---
    Japanese Business Man!
[08:12] ---
    That's right!
[08:13] ---
    Take them...
[08:14] ---
    ...and beat them up...
[08:15] ---
    ...so they can't move anymore!
[08:20] ---
    Man, you irritate me.
[08:23] ---
    You mention that name, you die.
[08:26] ---
    So powerful!
[08:27] ---
    Our psychic powers are being pushed back!
[08:29] ---
    Gig Worker! Go after that woman person!
[08:33] ---
    I won't let you.
    You're not going to ignore me.
[08:37] ---
    Makes me wilt.
[08:38] ---
    If we don't have that
    psychic thing going, it's all ours!
[08:42] ---
    Salary...
[08:44] ---
    Uppercut!
[08:47] ---
    I can't see the attack!
[08:48] ---
    That thing is bad news!
[08:50] ---
    Mantis!
[08:54] ---
    He dodged!
[08:55] ---
    I can see this thing's punches.
[08:58] ---
    Mantis!
[09:03] ---
    You said that I am lacking in power,
    didn't you?
[09:10] ---
    Then...
[09:12] ---
    I'll simply nail
    your weak spot multiple times.
[09:15] ---
    I am one with Takakura-sama!
[09:18] ---
    Hey! You guys are way too close!
[09:20] ---
    You guys will both get blown away!
[09:22] ---
    Oh my, are you jealous?
[09:23] ---
    As if!
[09:24] ---
    Momo-chan, that's great advice.
[09:26] ---
    I am an awkward fellow after all.
[09:30] ---
    Do you guys wanna die?
[09:31] ---
    I'm sorry, Miss Ayase!
[09:33] ---
    Come on, get a grip already!
[09:34] ---
    You're the one in charge of holding back
    their weird powers!
[09:37] ---
    Sheesh, you are so useless.
[09:39] ---
    Your pay will be cut by 60 percent.
[09:42] ---
    N-No way.
[10:01] ---
    What was that just now?
[10:03] ---
    Water!
[10:04] ---
    My feet don't touch the bottom!
[10:05] ---
    What's going on here?
[10:11] ---
    The wall and ceiling is all water now!
[10:21] ---
    Crap.
[10:29] ---
    It's here.
[10:37] ---
    Crap, crap, crap!
[10:38] ---
    We're gonna escape for now!
[10:39] ---
    Hold on! Why are you calling the shots?
    I'm the leader here!
[10:43] ---
    It's Nessie!
[10:44] ---
    Takakura-kun is getting excited.
    He's so cute.
[10:47] ---
    Damn you guys!
[10:48] ---
    No, we're in Kamigoe City,
    so should I call it Kamissie?
[10:51] ---
    Oh, fine! Then you guys can get
    real chummy and stare at Nessie!
[10:54] ---
    I'm outta here!
[10:55] ---
    Oh, so that thing is called Nessie?
[10:58] ---
    Takakura-kun, you know so much.
[11:00] ---
    Come on! What have you been doing?
[11:02] ---
    You weren't able to hold back
    the woman person at all!
[11:06] ---
    You're also getting a 60 percent pay cu...
[11:15] ---
    How could you?
[11:16] ---
    Nessie is really bad news!
[11:17] ---
    - Why are you attacking us?
    - That's what I've been saying!
[11:19] ---
    You're supposed to get
    that woman person over there!
[11:21] ---
    Hey! Takakura-kun, wait...
[11:27] ---
    Miss Shiratori!
[11:30] ---
    That was from him?
[11:31] ---
    Business Punch!
[11:34] ---
    Does he punch harder underwater?
[11:37] ---
    Is he a Mantisian that has
    the characteristics of a mantis shrimp?
[11:40] ---
    Mantis! Mantis!
[11:42] ---
    Yours truly can exert
    real power underwater!
[11:46] ---
    The underwater punching power
    of yours truly is ten times that on land.
[11:51] ---
    Huh?
[11:58] ---
    Ten times!
[11:59] ---
    Still need air, huh?
[12:01] ---
    Get him!
[12:03] ---
    You should be able to swim at pretty high speed
    with Turbo Granny's leg strength!
[12:06] ---
    Makes me wilt.
[12:14] ---
    I'm gonna die!
[12:15] ---
    I can't swim!
[12:17] ---
    Turbo Granny can't swim!
[12:19] ---
    Huh?
[12:26] ---
    This is the worst situation ever!
[12:27] ---
    How are we supposed to fight like this?
[12:29] ---
    I don't know the answer either!
[12:31] ---
    We're in trouble if we take too long!
[12:33] ---
    If we don't hurry up and save
    that stupid girl, she'll drown!
[12:35] ---
    Miss Ayase, what about your psychic powers?
[12:37] ---
    I can reach if we're right below her,
[12:39] ---
    but that mantis shrimp guy
    is in the way and I can't get close!
[12:41] ---
    Then I'll draw that guy's attention,
[12:43] ---
    so please grab Miss Shiratori
    in the meantime!
[12:45] ---
    What are you talking about?
[12:47] ---
    If you just plunge in like that, you'll end up
    exactly like that stupid girl!
[12:50] ---
    Don't make things harder for me, okay?
[12:52] ---
    You don't have to say it like that!
[12:54] ---
    I'm just trying to make myself useful!
[12:56] ---
    And it doesn't mean jack
    if you cause even more trouble!
[12:58] ---
    That's why I said we need to hurry up and run!
[13:00] ---
    You guys are at fault
    for making out all the time!
[13:02] ---
    We weren't making out!
[13:04] ---
    You've been making out!
    This whole time!
[13:06] ---
    You pinned her down on the ground
    in the courtyard!
[13:08] ---
    So it was bothering you!
[13:09] ---
    No, it's not!
[13:10] ---
    I don't care what some liar
    is doing with some stupid girl!
[13:14] ---
    Hold on a second!
[13:17] ---
    If you actually care,
    then tell me honestly that you do!
[13:21] ---
    If it's weighing on your mind,
    please let me explain myself!
[13:25] ---
    I don't care how much other people
    will take things the wrong way,
[13:28] ---
    but I don't want you
    to have the wrong idea, Miss Ayase!
[13:31] ---
    I want you to have a proper understanding
    of everything!
[13:37] ---
    Don't touch me, pervert!
[13:39] ---
    Oh, sorry.
[13:40] ---
    How can you say that
    when you look like that?
[13:42] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[14:00] ---
    I'm sorry!
    That was beyond my control!
[14:03] ---
    I won't touch you ever again!
[14:04] ---
    That's a great idea!
[14:05] ---
    Huh?
[14:07] ---
    Okarun, stay still!
[14:08] ---
    Huh?
[14:10] ---
    This is rough.
[14:11] ---
    All right, let's try it.
[14:13] ---
    Stop with your futile resistance!
[14:17] ---
    What the hell is that?
[14:19] ---
    I grab Okarun really hard,
    and push him forward!
[14:23] ---
    I propel him with my psychic powers
    as if I'm catching a lively fish, and ride it!
[14:28] ---
    You can't escape attacks from yours truly!
[14:33] ---
    Get up there!
[14:51] ---
    That's amazing!
[14:52] ---
    Miss Ayase, you're such a genius!
[14:53] ---
    I know that!
[14:55] ---
    Hey, come on. Wake up!
[14:58] ---
    She probably swallowed a lot of water.
[15:00] ---
    Don't hate me for this, okay?
[15:02] ---
    Forced resuscitation!
[15:04] ---
    Miss Shiratori! I'm glad!
[15:08] ---
    Is this a dream?
[15:09] ---
    You dumbass!
    We haven't resolved anything yet!
[15:12] ---
    Take your clothes off! It's hard to move you
    when there's water resistance.
[15:15] ---
    Huh?
[15:16] ---
    I've already decided I'm not stripping down
    until my wedding night!
[15:18] ---
    Strip!
[15:22] ---
    It's not fair that you escaped upwards!
[15:25] ---
    Oh, right now yours truly
    has them cornered.
[15:29] ---
    Give me a bit more time.
[15:35] ---
    What?
[15:36] ---
    Each and every one of you are useless!
[15:39] ---
    His attack power is amazing, but he's so stupid
    he assaults everything in sight.
[15:44] ---
    Gig Worker has high attack power underwater,
[15:47] ---
    but he takes too many breaths
    and the enemy ends up escaping.
[15:50] ---
    Sorry.
[15:52] ---
    That's enough. This is a case
    where we will all merge together.
[15:55] ---
    We will use this Body Cable to become one.
SIGN    YOU MUST ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY AND RAISE AN ANIMAL FOR ITS ENTIRE LIFE!
[16:00] ---
    You have to assume responsibility.
[16:01] ---
    Takakura-kun, you saw me in lingerie.
[16:04] ---
    I did not.
[16:05] ---
    You in lingerie is only worth
    one piece of candy.
[16:09] ---
    Anyway, I need both of you
    to get fired up!
[16:11] ---
    We can't win unless we all use
    everything we've got!
[16:14] ---
    Sure.
[16:14] ---
    Don't tell me what to do!
    I'm the leader!
[16:17] ---
    Here goes!
[16:18] ---
    One, two...
[16:42] ---
    What a shame. Ran out of water.
[16:50] ---
    That was close!
[16:51] ---
    What was that?
    Is that even possible?
[16:56] ---
    Miss Ayase, look at that!
    It's pooling water into its neck!
[17:00] ---
    So it can't shoot continuously!
[17:02] ---
    Which means, if we break that thing's neck,
    it can't shoot lasers anymore!
[17:06] ---
    Let's do it!
[17:07] ---
    Now might be our chance!
    Let's get close and attack!
[17:27] ---
    You just thought we only had
    the high-compression water blast, didn't you?
[17:32] ---
    We may look like this, but we are
    a close-combat in-fighter UMA.
[17:40] ---
    Oh no!
[17:54] ---
    Hey, get a grip! Are you okay?
[17:58] ---
    That hurt! I'm not okay!
[18:01] ---
    Then you're fine!
[18:02] ---
    That thing has the punching guy's arm!
[18:05] ---
    When did they merge together?
    We can't get close like that!
[18:09] ---
    That damn Serpoian brought the punching guy
    to cover for Nessie's weakness all along!
[18:15] ---
    It's too strong! Laser beams
    and mantis shrimp punches...
[18:17] ---
    We might've had a chance on land,
    but there's nothing we can do underwater!
[18:21] ---
    Okarun, what'd you just say?
[18:22] ---
    There's nothing we can do!
[18:24] ---
    Not that one!
[18:25] ---
    You said mantis shrimp punches?
[18:41] ---
    Too bad.
[18:42] ---
    The high-compression water blast
    has run out yet again.
[18:46] ---
    But we have endless ways to kill you.
[18:50] ---
    You are a very dangerous person,
    so we will kill you first then dissect you.
[18:55] ---
    We can simply wait for you to drown
    but we have used a bit too much time.
[18:59] ---
    Can we punch you to death?
[19:19] ---
    Wh-What?
[19:21] ---
    What is going on here?
[19:23] ---
    You shouldn't have merged together
    with that Mantisian.
[19:27] ---
    A mantis shrimp's punching powers
    are unparalleled underwater.
[19:30] ---
    But on land, it can never
    unleash a punch at full strength.
[19:34] ---
    Including him.
[19:35] ---
    If he tried to go all-out,
    he'd have ended up like you now.
[19:39] ---
    He'd have imploded
    from the impact of his own punch.
[19:48] ---
    I can stay underwater like this
    for hours on end!
[19:52] ---
    But what about you?
[19:54] ---
    Will you drown first? Or will you be severed
    by the high-compression water blast first?
[20:09] ---
    I can't swim.
[20:12] ---
    But if there's a path to run...
[20:15] ---
    I can go full throttle.
[20:17] ---
    Hold on just a second!
[21:07] ---
    We're back?
[21:10] ---
    We defeated them?
[21:16] ---
    The ground is hard.
    This is the hallway!
[21:20] ---
    Thank you, hallway.
[21:23] ---
    Thank you for being so hard!
[21:26] ---
    What's that about?
[21:30] ---
    I dunno. It's hilarious.
[21:33] ---
    Huh?
[21:34] ---
    What are they doing?
[21:35] ---
    These guys are buck naked and hugging!
[21:42] ---
    Ayase from Class B
    and that four-eyes is going at it!
[21:44] ---
    No!
[21:46] ---
    No!
[21:49] ---
    The prim Miss Shiratori
    from Class D is naked, too!
[21:53] ---
    Why is this happening?
[21:54] ---
    Why are they all naked?
[23:27] ---
    Nessie was simply too wicked!
[23:28] ---
    Was it a surviving Plesiosaur?
[23:30] ---
    But I never thought
    it would merge with an alien.
[23:33] ---
    The merger between an UMA and an alien
    is like a dream for me!
[23:35] ---
    Takakura-kun, you know so much.
SIGN    EPISODE 10 HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A CATTLE MUTILATION?
[23:37] ---
    Next episode,
    "Have You Ever Seen a Cattle Mutilation?"
[23:39] ---
    Man, I was caught in a weird situation.
    This really sucks!

Season 1

10 - Have You Ever Seen a Cattle Mutilation?

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    EPISODE 10 HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A CATTLE MUTILATION?
[01:38] ---
    Are you making a fool of me?
[01:43] ---
    I'll ask just one more time.
[01:46] ---
    You guys being bullied?
[01:51] ---
    No, ma'am.
SIGN    SCHOOL NURSE QUEEN-SENSEI
[01:56] ---
    Don't hide it. Just tell me.
[01:59] ---
    I have zero tolerance for bullying.
[02:03] ---
    I am on your side.
[02:07] ---
    Thanks, ma'am.
[02:10] ---
    Queen-sensei, you have a call
    in the teacher's office.
[02:14] ---
    Damn baldie!
[02:15] ---
    I told ya, don't open the door
    without knocking first!
[02:20] ---
    I'm sorry, Queen-sensei!
[02:22] ---
    Looks like you need some discipline.
[02:24] ---
    - Discipline? Um...
    - Rotten scumbag. Cue balls like you...
[02:30] ---
    I'm stepping out for a bit.
    You guys can stay as long as you like.
[02:36] ---
    Thanks, ma'am.
[02:38] ---
    What am I gonna do?
    People saw me in a weird situation!
[02:41] ---
    My popularity! My innocent image!
[02:45] ---
    More like, them aliens
    are way too persistent!
[02:48] ---
    If they keep assaulting us like that,
    I won't be able to stand it!
[02:52] ---
    On top of that, they were targeting me.
[02:55] ---
    It seems like they were after
    Turbo Granny's powers.
[02:59] ---
    Hey, by the way...
[03:02] ---
    Since when have you been able
    to use Acro-Silky's powers?
[03:06] ---
    Just now. My powers awakened
    during the battle.
[03:10] ---
    I mean, I was chosen
    as a "Pretty Soldier" after all.
[03:14] ---
    Your title keeps changing so much.
[03:16] ---
    Well, we did transfer Acro-Silky's aura
    to you, so I guess it's possible.
[03:21] ---
    But if that's the case, it's highly likely that
    Miss Shiratori will also be targeted by them.
[03:25] ---
    Takakura-kun is worried about me.
[03:28] ---
    We were able to fend them off
    because we had yokai powers.
[03:30] ---
    But as long as we have these powers,
    the aliens will be targeting us.
[03:34] ---
    But isn't it strange?
[03:36] ---
    If they want yokai powers,
    they should just attack the yokai directly.
[03:40] ---
    You're right.
[03:42] ---
    No, wait. That's exactly it!
[03:44] ---
    The aliens, despite having astounding
    scientific technology, are not invading Earth.
[03:48] ---
    There's much debate about that,
    and I was always curious about it!
[03:53] ---
    They can't because
    we have yokai monsters around!
SIGN    INJURED - 4 PEOPLE
    HEAT STROKE - 3 PEOPLE
[03:56] ---
    They're not just in Japan!
[03:57] ---
    Folklore about spirits and demons
    exist all over the world!
[04:00] ---
    In other words, yokai and demons
    are protecting the Earth from alien invasion!
[04:05] ---
    Even with their scientific technology,
    aliens can't beat yokai.
[04:08] ---
    Thus, they're attacking special humans
    like us for research,
[04:11] ---
    and they're trying to develop technology
    to win against the yokai!
[04:15] ---
    I'm sure of it!
[04:17] ---
    There's a chance they already took
    my missing family jewels!
[04:21] ---
    Oh crap! We gotta hurry and find it!
[04:24] ---
    The story went too epic
    and I totes missed the point!
[04:26] ---
    So what? Are we in trouble?
[04:28] ---
    I get it! I still hold
    the fate of the world in my hands!
[04:33] ---
    Fine, we'll go with that.
[04:35] ---
    Anyway, people saw me naked!
[04:39] ---
    Ugh, don't remind me of reality!
[04:42] ---
    I'm sure nobody would believe
    anything we'd say anyway.
[04:46] ---
    Oh, what to do!
[04:47] ---
    That's it!
[04:48] ---
    I'll just say that Miss Ayase stripped me!
[04:51] ---
    Hey!
[04:52] ---
    It's not a lie, is it?
[04:53] ---
    You did tell me to strip down.
[04:55] ---
    Takakura-kun, you should go with that, too.
[04:57] ---
    Huh?
[04:58] ---
    Fine, you can go with that.
[04:59] ---
    But if we do that, then you...
[05:01] ---
    I'm kinda tired. Making excuses
    sounds like a pain in the ass.
[05:04] ---
    - Aira, are you okay?
    - What happened to you?
[05:07] ---
    You surprised me!
[05:09] ---
    Oh! Momo Ayase, is this your fault?
[05:11] ---
    Uh, um...
[05:13] ---
    Let's go, Aira!
[05:14] ---
    Wait, hold on. Miss Ayase, if you don't hurry,
    you'll turn into the villain!
[05:18] ---
    I could care less.
[05:20] ---
    You don't care?
[05:22] ---
    More than any of this...
[05:24] ---
    Okarun, give me your excuse
    for that other thing.
[05:28] ---
    What were you doing there
    during lunch break?
[05:31] ---
    That was...
[05:32] ---
    Miss Shiratori tried to kiss me
    out of the blue.
[05:35] ---
    Huh!?
[05:36] ---
    It's true!
[05:37] ---
    We got into a tussle because of that,
[05:39] ---
    and when we both fell over,
    that's when you happened to see us.
[05:43] ---
    So then, what were you
    doing there to begin with?
[05:47] ---
    C'mon. C'mon.
[05:52] ---
    I was working out.
[05:54] ---
    Like push-ups and stuff.
[05:56] ---
    Oh?
[05:57] ---
    I wanted to become stronger.
[06:00] ---
    And why'd ya want to keep it a secret?
[06:03] ---
    Um...
[06:05] ---
    If I got stronger without you knowing,
    I thought it would be kinda cool.
[06:10] ---
    Say what? Hilarious!
[06:11] ---
    Okarun, you have a vain side, too?
[06:13] ---
    O-Of course I do.
[06:15] ---
    I am a guy after all.
[06:18] ---
    I want you to think I'm a cool guy.
[06:27] ---
    I see, I get it.
[06:30] ---
    Lemme see your face.
[06:32] ---
    D-Don't tease me!
    That's the bad thing about you.
[06:36] ---
    So why? Why do you want me
    to think you're cool?
[06:38] ---
    Huh? I told you.
    It's because I'm a guy!
[06:41] ---
    Why do you want people to think that
    just because you're a guy?
[06:44] ---
    Huh?
[06:45] ---
    That's enough of that!
[06:48] ---
    I'll be going now!
[06:50] ---
    I won't say anything
    that'll make you the villain though.
[06:54] ---
    Okarun.
[07:18] ---
    Found Momo!
[07:19] ---
    Okarun is here, too!
[07:21] ---
    Whoa! You surprised me!
[07:22] ---
    No, that's our line.
[07:24] ---
    You suddenly disappeared on us
    during class!
[07:26] ---
    Kana contacted us.
    I was totally spooked.
[07:28] ---
    She said you and Okarun were hugging
    each other naked in front of Class D.
[07:32] ---
    But we were all in chemistry lab, right?
[07:34] ---
    So what's going on?
[07:37] ---
    Even if I told you,
    you wouldn't understand.
[07:40] ---
    That's just how things ended up.
[07:42] ---
    I see.
[07:43] ---
    Isn't that a little too vague?
[07:45] ---
    All the mysteries
    have been unraveled.
[07:46] ---
    Whoa, amazeballs!
[07:51] ---
    You. There's a person
    named Shiratori in Class D.
[07:55] ---
    So uh, do you know her?
[08:01] ---
    Well, yeah.
[08:04] ---
    My investigations show that
    Shiratori in Class D was also naked.
[08:11] ---
    Which brings us to Momo, Okarun,
    and Shiratori.
[08:15] ---
    Where a love triangle emerges...
[08:19] ---
    Whoa.
[08:20] ---
    Which means, this is...
[08:24] ---
    all for one man.
[08:28] ---
    A war between two women.
SIGN    NUDE GLADIATOR COMBAT
[08:35] ---
    It means we had some
    Nude Gladiator Combat!
[08:42] ---
    Momo was talking to that mantis shrimp
[08:44] ---
    because she wanted Master Mantis to teach her
    to punch so she could knock Shiratori's lights out!
[08:49] ---
    What the hell?
[08:50] ---
    Teach me.
[08:51] ---
    Momo was sulking the whole time
[08:53] ---
    because she was jealous of Shiratori!
[08:55] ---
    Shut that trap!
[08:56] ---
    I ain't jealous of her!
[08:58] ---
    You are the culprit!
[09:00] ---
    Hold on! Stop it!
[09:02] ---
    Aira, are you okay?
[09:03] ---
    What in the world happened!?
[09:05] ---
    I'll help out in any way possible
    if it's for you, Miss Shiratori!
[09:09] ---
    Thank you, everyone.
[09:11] ---
    Aira is mammoth-happy!
[09:13] ---
    But I don't really want to talk about
    what happened.
[09:16] ---
    So I'd be grateful
    if you left me alone about this.
[09:21] ---
    I impress myself with how high
    my own popularity is!
[09:24] ---
    Times like this are when
    your everyday efforts bear fruit.
[09:27] ---
    This is how this incident will dissipate.
[09:30] ---
    It's Momo Ayase, isn't it?
    She did this to you?
[09:33] ---
    You've been harassed
    by Momo Ayase lately.
[09:37] ---
    Like that thing with the washtub.
[09:39] ---
    No way. Really?
[09:40] ---
    Momo Ayase's not getting away with this!
[09:42] ---
    Maybe she's jealous
    of Miss Shiratori's beauty?
[09:45] ---
    What's her problem!?
[09:46] ---
    I heard she'll sleep with any guy.
[09:50] ---
    Oh, I know about that rumor!
    It was going around a while back!
[09:53] ---
    Shouldn't we punish her in some way?
    Like spread word about her evil.
[09:57] ---
    Right!
[09:58] ---
    Let's teach her what happens
    when you make our Miss Shiratori cry!
[10:01] ---
    So true!
[10:04] ---
    I'm the one who spread that fake rumor.
[10:08] ---
    Hold on, Aira. What's wrong?
[10:10] ---
    I'm at fault.
[10:12] ---
    So please don't speak badly
    of Momo Ayase.
[10:30] ---
    What the?
[10:31] ---
    What's going on?
[10:50] ---
    I've done myself in.
[10:52] ---
    My popularity...
[10:54] ---
    Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid...
[10:56] ---
    Hey, what are you doing?
[11:01] ---
    Deranged as usual, I see.
[11:03] ---
    Shut up! What do you want?
[11:07] ---
    Nothing much.
[11:11] ---
    How's it on your end? Were you able
    to come up with a good excuse?
[11:14] ---
    Huh?
[11:15] ---
    W-Well, yeah. They're all filled
    with hatred against you!
[11:20] ---
    You say that, but you're all alone.
[11:23] ---
    You always have people stringing
    behind you like goldfish turds.
[11:27] ---
    You've had enough, right?
    Can you get lost?
[11:30] ---
    I mean, you are my enemy!
[11:38] ---
    I bet you didn't badmouth me.
[11:41] ---
    Of course I did!
[11:42] ---
    I said all kinds of bad stuff!
    Got a problem with that?
[11:46] ---
    Yeah, yeah.
[11:51] ---
    I can't just go home like this.
[11:56] ---
    I have to earn a living for my family.
[12:02] ---
    This thing has the nerve to show up again!?
[12:05] ---
    It's emitting some weird white fluid!
[12:06] ---
    Chiquitita, you have a dream?
[12:17] ---
    Huh? You okay?
[12:20] ---
    Chiquitita.
[12:25] ---
    Daddy!
[12:27] ---
    Daddy!
[12:33] ---
    I'm sorry, Chiquitita.
[12:45] ---
    Th-This place is...
[12:50] ---
    Grandma, see, look here!
    This is an alien!
[12:54] ---
    It doesn't feel like one.
    Isn't this just a kappa?
[12:57] ---
    No way! There's an alien right in front of you,
    and you won't believe it? The hell?
[13:02] ---
    It just doesn't feel like an alien.
[13:04] ---
    This thing's totally a kappa.
[13:05] ---
    No, actually, there are theories
    that kappa are actually aliens!
[13:09] ---
    Anyway, what are we gonna do
    about this guy? We patched him up.
[13:13] ---
    He might attack us again, you know.
[13:18] ---
    You better not!
    We got Grandma on our side!
[13:25] ---
    Oh, that?
[13:27] ---
    I had no idea what aliens eat,
    so I just made some curry for now.
[13:31] ---
    You don't have to eat it
    if you don't want it.
[13:41] ---
    You gave me proper medical attention.
[13:44] ---
    Nobody has ever
    been this kind to me before.
[13:50] ---
    I will never ever
    bring harm to you ever again.
[14:02] ---
    Tastes awful!
[14:04] ---
    Tastes awful!
[14:08] ---
    Why you!
[14:10] ---
    Don't you be eatin' just the fatty tuna!
[14:12] ---
    You ate my sea urchin!
[14:15] ---
    You're a guest!
    Just stick to the pickled ginger!
[14:17] ---
    If I'm a guest, treat me like one!
    Bring me some blackthroat seaperch!
[14:20] ---
    You're just a kappa!
    Stick to cucumber rolls!
[14:23] ---
    You left some sea urchin uneaten!
[14:25] ---
    I was saving the best for last,
    you schmuck!
[14:29] ---
    You ugly idiot baldie!
[14:30] ---
    Ugly scummy idiot baldie!
[14:32] ---
    Each and every one of you are scum!
[14:35] ---
    I'm never serving you guys sushi again!
[14:40] ---
    My son is ill.
[14:43] ---
    All his blood leaves his body
    with his urine and feces.
[14:46] ---
    He'll die unless he's given
    new blood every day.
[14:51] ---
    My wife died from the same illness.
[14:54] ---
    For treatment, I need [$@$@].
[14:57] ---
    What? Sorry, I didn't catch that.
[14:59] ---
    It's what you guys call currency.
[15:02] ---
    And I need tons of currency.
[15:07] ---
    My [@@@@] is a warzone,
    and can't provide me currency.
[15:09] ---
    Huh? I really can't decipher
    what you're saying.
[15:12] ---
    So I must head out
    and earn some foreign currency.
[15:17] ---
    We [@@] have powerful bodies,
    so we have jobs like bodyguards and [@/@].
[15:24] ---
    But I am weak.
[15:26] ---
    Degenerate [@@] like myself
    can't find any work.
[15:31] ---
    There are only outlaw jobs full of danger.
[15:36] ---
    Because I'm...
[15:38] ---
    Because I'm weak, my wife had to die,
[15:42] ---
    I injured all of you, and my son
    is facing so much hardship.
[15:48] ---
    I'm so pathetic.
[15:50] ---
    I'm so pathetic!
[15:57] ---
    What can I do to help you?
[15:59] ---
    If you have my weenie,
    would that save your son?
[16:01] ---
    Huh? What the hell
    are you talking about? Stop that!
[16:04] ---
    It'll be fine if he can just get paid.
[16:07] ---
    I can go reclaim my weenie after that!
[16:09] ---
    Reclaim? From where?
[16:11] ---
    In the first place, if the treatment
    is to get new blood every single day,
[16:15] ---
    isn't it meaningless
    to get just one cash payment?
[16:18] ---
    It's tough for him, but he has to work
    a proper job to keep paying for it!
[16:22] ---
    He wants to work,
    but he can't find a job!
[16:25] ---
    How is he going to make a living?
[16:27] ---
    I heard that he's in trouble, so I can't just
    pretend like I didn't hear it.
[16:31] ---
    I want to help!
[16:33] ---
    Calm down.
    I understand how you feel, though.
[16:36] ---
    I'll get it back for you.
    That is, your, um... you-know-what.
[16:41] ---
    Keep quiet, you stupid girl!
[16:42] ---
    When Takakura-kun is trying
    to do something for someone else,
[16:45] ---
    and if you can't support him,
    you can't call yourself his partner.
[16:49] ---
    Don't pretend like you're his partner!
[16:54] ---
    What Miss Momo Ayase says is correct.
[16:57] ---
    The only way is for me to find a proper job.
[17:00] ---
    I was very happy about
    Mr. Ken Takakura's consideration.
[17:05] ---
    But you have been far too kind
    to me already.
[17:10] ---
    I have made a promise
    that I will not harm you.
[17:15] ---
    I'm sorry to stay so long.
[17:18] ---
    Thank you so very much.
[17:21] ---
    Hold it.
[17:22] ---
    Your blood stinks.
[17:24] ---
    Wait, what did you just say?
[17:26] ---
    That's anti-alien!
    Where's political correctness?
[17:28] ---
    Shut up, you little turd.
[17:30] ---
    Screw political correctness.
[17:34] ---
    That white liquid of yours
    is blood, yeah?
[17:38] ---
    Those blood-soaked bandages
    somehow smell familiar.
[17:42] ---
    Huh?
SIGN    YUJI INTENSE MILK UNALTERED COMPONENTS TYPE: MILK
[17:50] ---
    Try lapping up some of that.
[18:01] ---
    Th-This is...
[18:03] ---
    the same!
[18:05] ---
    It's the same thing as our blood!
[18:08] ---
    Huh? What the?
    Grandma, what's going on?
[18:11] ---
    His bandage reeked like that smell
    when you use a dirty rag to wipe up some milk.
[18:17] ---
    Milk is cow's "blood" to begin with,
    but of all things kappa's blood was milk, too?
[18:23] ---
    Seriously? Then you should take
    tons of milk back with you!
[18:25] ---
    Dover Demon's blood is milk.
[18:27] ---
    But it's a little thin.
[18:30] ---
    They homogenize it
    so it's easy for humans to drink.
[18:34] ---
    I'll ask a dairy farmer I know
    to give you one whole cow.
[18:39] ---
    Well, good luck with everything.
[18:41] ---
    Take care of yourself.
SIGN    INTENSE MILK
[19:01] ---
    Thank you!
[19:04] ---
    I will never forget this generosity!
[19:09] ---
    If something ever happens,
    I will make sure to be your ally!
[19:15] ---
    - It's Cattle Mutilation!
    - A live Abduction!
[19:15] ---
    Shut up! You're a nuisance to the neighborhood!
    Hurry up and go home!
[19:18] ---
    I will protect this planet!
    So never come back again!
[19:19] ---
    Amazing! So huge! So awesome!
[19:23] ---
    Hope we meet again!
[19:41] ---
    Grandma, you believe in aliens now, right?
[19:44] ---
    Huh? That was just a kappa.
[19:46] ---
    Huh? Okarun, say something
    to this old hag!
[19:49] ---
    There's a theory that kappa are aliens.
[19:55] ---
    Please!
[19:57] ---
    Buy us some school uniforms
    with Ms. Dodoria's appearance fees!
[20:01] ---
    How many times do I have
    to buy your uniforms, you dumbasses?
[20:06] ---
    Next time, we will wear them very carefully!
[20:09] ---
    Is it okay for us, too?
[20:10] ---
    We don't have any money.
[20:12] ---
    In times like this, it's best to exploit
    the financial power of adults.
[20:16] ---
    By the way, this is the third time.
[20:18] ---
    Aira and Four-Eyes,
    I'll buy uniforms for you two.
[20:22] ---
    Hold on!
    Why am I not included?
[20:25] ---
    I don't like your eyes.
[20:27] ---
    Those eyes that want to exploit
    the financial power of adults.
[20:32] ---
    So until I say you're done...
[20:34] ---
    do an impersonation of Hiroshi Abe.
[20:36] ---
    Gimme a break!
    I'd never do anything like that!
[20:40] ---
    Come on, say it.
    Who are you speaking to? Say it!
[20:44] ---
    You okay with that?
    With no deal for your uniform?
[20:48] ---
    I don't care either way.
[20:50] ---
    I don't wanna wear
    a school uniform anyway.
[20:57] ---
    What's with that face?
    That's so out there!
[20:59] ---
    So cute.
[21:00] ---
    So?
[21:01] ---
    That's nothing like him! How irritating!
[21:05] ---
    Hey, Momo. You answer that.
    Keep doing your impersonation, though.
[21:09] ---
    Rocket Engine Valve.
[21:11] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[21:12] ---
    Rocket Engine Valve.
[21:13] ---
    I'm watching you from here.
    You better not stop!
[21:19] ---
    Rocket Engine Valve.
[21:22] ---
    Hello.
[21:23] ---
    I am Rocket Engine Valve.
[21:26] ---
    Huh? Momo?
[21:29] ---
    Jiji?
[21:33] ---
    Yo. You're finally here.
    I heard all about it from your mom.
[21:37] ---
    Huh? What? Why is he here?
[21:40] ---
    Who is that?
[21:41] ---
    That guy is Momo's childhood friend...
[21:50] ---
    and her first love.
[23:27] ---
    What is this feeling I have?
[23:28] ---
    Hey, you believe in aliens, right?
[23:30] ---
    That was a kappa
    no matter how you look at it.
[23:31] ---
    Takakura-kun called it a Dover Demon.
[23:34] ---
    I'm sure she's just shaken because
    she witnessed Cattle Mutilation!
[23:36] ---
    Next episode, "First Love."
SIGN    EPISODE 11 FIRST LOVE
[23:38] ---
    By the way, outside of alien theories,
    a kappa is called chupacabra in some regions.

Season 1

11 - First Love

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] ---
    I'm watching you from over here!
    You better not stop!
[00:04] ---
    Rocket Engine Valve.
[00:08] ---
    Hello.
[00:09] ---
    I am Rocket Engine Valve.
[00:13] ---
    Huh? Momo?
[00:16] ---
    Jiji?
[00:24] ---
    Yo. You're finally here.
    I heard all about it from your mom.
[00:27] ---
    Huh? What? Why is he here?
[00:30] ---
    Who is that?
[00:31] ---
    That guy is Momo's childhood friend...
[00:36] ---
    and her first love.
[00:45] ---
    Miss Ayase's first crush?
[00:49] ---
    He looks so cool.
[00:51] ---
    From how he's dressed,
    he's definitely an athlete.
[00:54] ---
    He looks really sincere, too.
[00:56] ---
    Miss Ayase falling for him
    must mean that he's a proper guy.
[01:03] ---
    Momo, you're such a cutie!
[01:09] ---
    And your terrible impression...
    So priceless!
[01:15] ---
    It's been a while, Momo.
[01:18] ---
    Wanna hug for starters?
[01:19] ---
    So annoying. What's with you?
[01:21] ---
    I got me an "annoying"!
[01:25] ---
    Gimme more!
[01:27] ---
    Okarun, help me kill this guy.
[01:30] ---
    Long time no see, Jiji.
[01:32] ---
    Oh, good evening!
[01:34] ---
    It's been a while!
[01:36] ---
    You're still as beautiful as ever, Auntie!
[01:38] ---
    You've grown up into quite the genius.
    Well, come on in.
[01:42] ---
    Huh? Wait a sec, what's going on here?
[01:47] ---
    What? Isn't it obvious?
[01:49] ---
    He's gonna live with us starting today.
[01:54] ---
    Huh? What for?
[01:57] ---
    Absolutely not!
[01:58] ---
    "Absolutely!" and "Not!"
    still means you like it!
[02:04] ---
    Are you a genius?
[02:05] ---
    Thanks for having me, fam!
[02:08] ---
    Whoa! What about my permission!?
[02:11] ---
    L-Live together?
[02:13] ---
    It's too unnatural.
[02:15] ---
    Is she getting another new demon?
[02:20] ---
    Can it be that she's diligently
    gathering allies
[02:22] ---
    to prepare for the coming of Ragnarok,
    the final war?
[02:26] ---
    I don't think that's it.
[02:28] ---
    I won't allow it, Momo Ayase!
[02:31] ---
    What's up with you?
[02:32] ---
    I can totally see through your schemes!
[02:35] ---
    We're temporary allies
    against the alien threat,
[02:38] ---
    but once that's over, you're next!
[02:41] ---
    Huh? Is she still hooked on that idea?
[02:43] ---
    Seems so.
[02:45] ---
    I will gather forces as well
    to challenge your Ragnarok!
[02:48] ---
    See you!
[02:51] ---
    Thanks for your effort.
[02:52] ---
    All these troublesome things
    came rushing over at once!
[02:57] ---
    Well, I'll head home now, too.
[03:00] ---
    Oh. Okay.
[03:04] ---
    Take care.
[03:06] ---
    Okay.
[03:26] ---
    Hey, Okarun.
[03:36] ---
    Huh?
[03:40] ---
    What is it?
[03:44] ---
    "See you tomorrow!"
    It's your turn to say it, Okarun!
[03:49] ---
    Huh?
[03:50] ---
    We're taking turns?
[03:52] ---
    We are! So just say it!
[03:54] ---
    Oh, er...
[03:57] ---
    Um...
[03:59] ---
    See you...
[04:00] ---
    tomorrow.
[04:04] ---
    Good.
[04:06] ---
    Okay.
[04:32] ---
    I'm not convinced.
SIGN    KEEP OUT JIJI'S ROOM
[04:35] ---
    Why is Jiji living at our place?
    Give me a proper explanation.
[04:39] ---
    Auntie's cooking is too good!
[04:43] ---
    Are you a genius?
[04:45] ---
    Are you listening?
[04:46] ---
    I told you already.
[04:48] ---
    Both of Jiji's parents
    have been hospitalized.
[04:52] ---
    But why our place?
[04:53] ---
    You usually go to a relative's house
    in times like this.
[04:56] ---
    You're so cold-hearted.
[04:58] ---
    Society is about helping each other out.
[05:01] ---
    Auntie, you're so cool.
[05:03] ---
    Come on now, Jiji.
    You really are a genius.
[05:07] ---
    Make sure to eat up!
[05:09] ---
    Tank you!
[05:11] ---
    He just got you by the heartstrings!
[05:13] ---
    Don't be dumb. Nobody's ever gotten me
    by my heartstrings.
[05:17] ---
    Auntie, you're a serious cutie!
[05:20] ---
    Jiji, just how much of a genius are you?
[05:23] ---
    Make sure to eat up, okay?
[05:24] ---
    Tank you!
[05:28] ---
    There's definitely something funny going on.
[05:30] ---
    Tank you!
[05:31] ---
    I meant something is weird!
[05:34] ---
    Did we get along that well to begin with?
[05:37] ---
    Back in grade school,
    I made fun of you, Momo.
[05:42] ---
    Looking back now, I seriously regret it.
[05:45] ---
    Thing is...
[05:47] ---
    I can see ghosts now.
[05:51] ---
    Wait, did you pick up
    a golden ball by any chance?
[05:54] ---
    Golden ball?
[05:55] ---
    Did I make a dirty joke at some point?
[05:57] ---
    Oh, no. Forget I said that.
[06:00] ---
    I moved away, so we went
    to different middle schools, right?
[06:04] ---
    We moved way out into the mountains.
[06:07] ---
    I've always liked places with lots of nature.
[06:10] ---
    And the new house was big and clean,
    so I was all hyped up in the beginning.
[06:16] ---
    But gradually, I started feeling
    like something was off.
[06:22] ---
    It's hard to explain, but the things
    lying around, the toilet, the bathroom...
[06:30] ---
    They were somehow different
    than usual.
[06:33] ---
    I told my parents,
    but they wouldn't listen.
[06:36] ---
    I had to convince myself
    that I was imagining things.
[06:40] ---
    I lived each day pretending
    I didn't notice anything.
[06:44] ---
    But it became so clear
    and was telling me to look at it.
[06:49] ---
    It went out of its way
    to show itself before me.
[06:55] ---
    And ever since, I see it all the time.
[07:01] ---
    My parents' health started
    going downhill from there.
[07:05] ---
    That's why I asked famous
    spirit mediums for an exorcism.
[07:12] ---
    And when I did,
    three of the five committed suicide.
SIGN    JUNE SUNHEIGHTS PHOTO FOR RECORDS
SIGN    DECEMBER VALLEY OF SNAKES PHOTO FOR RECORDS
SIGN    APRIL NORTHERN MOUNTAIN TRACKS PHOTO FOR RECORDS
[07:18] ---
    Veteran spirit mediums couldn't exorcise it.
[07:21] ---
    And the person they recommended me
    as my last hope...
[07:25] ---
    was Momo's Auntie.
[07:30] ---
    So that's what's going on.
[07:32] ---
    You should've just told me sooner!
[07:34] ---
    That old hag didn't even mention
    you were coming.
[07:39] ---
    But it was probably the right thing
    to do to come to us.
[07:42] ---
    Momo.
[07:43] ---
    I'm sorry.
[07:44] ---
    Wait, can you stop that?
[07:46] ---
    Sorry for what?
[07:48] ---
    All sorts of stuff.
    Like how I made fun of you in the past.
[07:52] ---
    How I'm roping you
    into something this dangerous.
[07:55] ---
    If you're gonna apologize,
    don't come asking for help.
[07:59] ---
    It's fine. My grandma's really tough.
[08:02] ---
    I'm sure she'll beat
    that evil spirit with one blow.
[08:06] ---
    I ain't gonna do nothing.
[08:08] ---
    Huh?
[08:09] ---
    Like I said, I can only use my powers
    within Kamigoe City.
[08:14] ---
    Momo will take on this request.
[08:17] ---
    Say what? You didn't tell me this!
[08:18] ---
    Hold up!
    Did you just call Auntie "Grandma"?
[08:22] ---
    Someone who couldn't see ghosts
    can see them now.
[08:27] ---
    Maybe that golden ball
    has something to do with it.
[08:31] ---
    If you take this request, I'll buy you
    as many uniforms as you want.
[08:36] ---
    So go blow down that cursed house.
[10:10] ---
    Hey there! I transferred schools!
SIGN    EPISODE 11 FIRST LOVE
[10:14] ---
    Bo-Bo-Bo-Boom!
[10:18] ---
    I'm Jin Enjoji.
[10:21] ---
    Please call me Jiji!
[10:23] ---
    Whoa, he's cool!
[10:24] ---
    He's a hottie!
[10:28] ---
    Enjoji's parents...
[10:29] ---
    You're such a cutie!
[10:33] ---
    ...uh, are both in the hospital now.
[10:36] ---
    Oh, this is terrible. If I don't get
    your contact info, it'll kill me!
[10:39] ---
    I'm sure he's having a hard time,
    so everyone, please help him out.
[10:45] ---
    He'll be sitting next to Ayase.
    You guys are relatives, right?
[10:49] ---
    Nope! We're family!
[10:51] ---
    We're neither of those.
[10:53] ---
    Flashy guys are annoying.
[10:54] ---
    Stabbed! Thank you for that
    tasty roast from a beauty!
[10:59] ---
    Beauty?
[11:00] ---
    Momo, this guy's all good.
[11:05] ---
    He's a hottie.
[11:07] ---
    Hey! I'm a super hottie!
    Pout, pout!
[11:11] ---
    Wait, I'm being drawn ever closer.
[11:13] ---
    It's because you're too cute.
[11:15] ---
    What's with him? He's hilarious!
[11:18] ---
    Oui!
[11:19] ---
    Yeah, so who is he?
[11:21] ---
    How to put it...
[11:23] ---
    A childhood friend-type
    from grade school.
[11:28] ---
    We're living together!
[11:30] ---
    What? For real?
[11:31] ---
    Hey, stop that!
    You'll start strange rumors!
[11:34] ---
    Let me explain everything
    properly in order.
[11:36] ---
    - Wait, Momo...
    - No, it's not...
[11:37] ---
    Lovey...
[11:40] ---
    dovey!
[11:41] ---
    Momo and I are in
    a parentally approved relationship!
[11:45] ---
    Living together?
[11:47] ---
    Seriously?
[11:47] ---
    You can't do that!
[11:49] ---
    Momo already has Okarun!
[11:54] ---
    "Jealous" is an "adjective"
    which describes nouns.
[11:58] ---
    For instance, you can
    "be jealous of another's happiness."
[11:59] ---
    It's bugging me.
[12:01] ---
    Miss Ayase's first crush...
[12:04] ---
    Does she still like him?
[12:07] ---
    He called Miss Ayase "Momo,"
    and said she was cute.
[12:14] ---
    Could their feelings be mutual?
[12:19] ---
    So "beautiful" and "cool"
    are adjectives as well.
[12:22] ---
    If Miss Ayase were to start dating him...
[12:27] ---
    will she stop being so kind to me?
[12:31] ---
    I'm sure she'll be interested in
    his hobbies and lose interest in the occult.
[12:36] ---
    I won't be able to talk about
    the occult during recess anymore.
[12:39] ---
    Maybe I won't be able to hang out
    with Miss Ayase anymore.
[13:02] ---
    I'm no good.
[13:09] ---
    Stop distracting yourself, Ken!
[13:12] ---
    Physical training is more important
    right now than such thoughts!
[13:24] ---
    Oh, there you are.
[13:27] ---
    What're you doing?
    Practicing a new ultimate move?
[13:34] ---
    Miss Ayase, you already ate lunch?
[13:37] ---
    I'm gonna eat here.
[13:39] ---
    Huh?
[13:40] ---
    I'm watching over you
    so you don't do anything funny again.
[13:44] ---
    Watching over me?
[13:45] ---
    That incident with Miss Shiratori
    wasn't my fault.
[13:50] ---
    Okarun, did you eat lunch?
[13:52] ---
    Not yet.
[13:54] ---
    If both your hands are tied up...
[13:56] ---
    I'll feed you.
[13:58] ---
    Huh?
[14:00] ---
    I-Is that all right?
[14:04] ---
    Momo!
[14:06] ---
    Oh? You're the guy
    who was at Momo's place yesterday.
[14:09] ---
    You a friend?
[14:14] ---
    What do you want? Weren't you gonna eat
    with Miko and the others?
[14:17] ---
    Oh? Is Momo-chan jealous?
    Such a cutie!
[14:21] ---
    As if.
[14:23] ---
    Check it out!
[14:24] ---
    Yogurt-flavored Pompy!
[14:28] ---
    Are you serious?
[14:30] ---
    Present for you, woo!
[14:41] ---
    This is futile.
[14:43] ---
    I can't watch Miss Ayase amicably
    talk to that guy any longer.
[14:48] ---
    I'll try not to see her anymore.
[14:50] ---
    That will be the best move for myself,
    and for Miss Ayase.
[14:57] ---
    I'm not gonna give up!
[15:03] ---
    Oh.
[15:09] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[15:15] ---
    I'm scared!
[15:17] ---
    Get outta my way!
[15:20] ---
    Nobody can stop me!
[15:23] ---
    Huh? What is it this time?
[15:24] ---
    Whoa, what's that?
    Seriously wicked!
[15:27] ---
    Stop right there, you half-wit!
[15:29] ---
    Momo, let's run for it!
[15:30] ---
    Don't get in my way!
[15:32] ---
    Momo!
[15:33] ---
    Don't say I didn't warn you!
[15:45] ---
    Okarun! His ball...
[15:46] ---
    It's golden!
[15:47] ---
    Momo, hide behind me!
[15:50] ---
    - Jiji, calm down!
    - Hold it!
[15:52] ---
    You're not getting away!
[15:56] ---
    You've got some nerves!
[16:01] ---
    Okarun!
[16:02] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[16:04] ---
    - Stop this guy!
    - Momo! Hang onto me!
[16:06] ---
    Wait, you right there!
    Get away from Miss Ayase!
[16:26] ---
    I don't like it.
[16:28] ---
    I want him to get away from her.
[16:58] ---
    Damn you! I know you're trying
    to stop me, but I won't stop!
[17:03] ---
    You make me limp.
[17:05] ---
    Another monster came out!
[17:07] ---
    Okarun!
[17:13] ---
    - Okarun!
    - Momo-chan! The power lines!
[17:29] ---
    Momo-chan! Where is he?
[17:32] ---
    There!
[17:35] ---
    Thanks, Okarun! You're a lifesaver!
[17:38] ---
    A monster captured us!
[17:39] ---
    I'll protect you, Momo!
[17:41] ---
    Stop that! Okarun is on our side!
    He was with us earlier!
[17:44] ---
    No way! For real?
[17:46] ---
    Here goes!
[17:50] ---
    All right, Okarun, brace yourself!
[17:52] ---
    Jiji, help us out!
[18:06] ---
    Give up already, you piece of crap!
[18:09] ---
    We'll slowly pull him here!
[18:12] ---
    No way! I'm not gonna give up!
    I don't wanna give up!
[18:21] ---
    Ew! Gross!
[18:26] ---
    Merge!
[18:42] ---
    Momo, he's getting away!
[18:43] ---
    Okarun, after him!
[18:50] ---
    No good. We lost sight of him.
[18:54] ---
    S-So amazing.
    He transformed and stuff.
[18:57] ---
    What should we do? We don't even
    know which way he went.
[19:06] ---
    This way!
[19:07] ---
    Huh? What was that?
[19:17] ---
    Miss Ayase, what have you been doing?
SIGN    KEEP OUT
[19:25] ---
    Here?
[19:29] ---
    Is it all right to barge in without asking?
[19:34] ---
    Oh.
[19:39] ---
    Goddamn it.
[19:40] ---
    I was so close.
[19:42] ---
    Miss Ayase, how did you know
    where he was headed to?
[19:47] ---
    He looks like he's exhausted?
[19:50] ---
    When he split apart to escape,
    I managed to grab just his heart.
[19:55] ---
    I punched it on a hunch, and that
    was when I heard him screaming in agony.
[20:00] ---
    Freaky!
[20:01] ---
    Woo! Not bad!
[20:04] ---
    I feel a little sorry for him.
[20:09] ---
    It's not like we want to catch and eat you.
[20:12] ---
    If you'll promise not to run away,
    I'll give you your heart back.
[20:16] ---
    So can you show us your golden nuts?
[20:20] ---
    It might be one of my friend's.
[20:22] ---
    Miss Ayase, can you
    please say it more delicately?
[20:25] ---
    Are dirty jokes that popular nowadays?
[20:30] ---
    Taro? Is that you, Taro?
[20:35] ---
    Hana!
[20:36] ---
    Where are you, Hana?
[20:37] ---
    Hana!
[20:39] ---
    No! Don't come here!
    Please go back, Taro!
[20:42] ---
    No way! I will never give up!
[20:45] ---
    I won't give up on you, Hana!
[20:50] ---
    What? What's going on here?
[20:59] ---
    I found you!
[21:01] ---
    I finally found you!
[21:02] ---
    Why did you come here?
[21:04] ---
    Why did you put yourself
    through so much danger?
[21:07] ---
    Because I love you!
[21:12] ---
    Everything changed after I met you.
[21:17] ---
    My world used to be grey,
    but thanks to you,
[21:21] ---
    it became so colorful!
[21:24] ---
    We can't!
[21:25] ---
    Our manufacturer's dates
    are too far apart!
[21:29] ---
    We live in different worlds!
[21:31] ---
    My duties are all over!
    Please hurry back.
[21:34] ---
    Otherwise you'll turn into
    oversized trash, too!
[21:37] ---
    I don't care.
[21:38] ---
    You're the one I fell in love with.
    I won't let go of you no matter what!
[21:42] ---
    Let's run away together!
[21:43] ---
    If I don't do anything right here and now,
    I'll regret it for the rest of my life!
[21:48] ---
    Taro!
[23:27] ---
    UMAs were all said to be nonsense,
[23:29] ---
    but they are "Unidentified Mysterious Animals"
    so they are simply "unidentified" biologically!
[23:33] ---
    What's suddenly gotten into you?
[23:34] ---
    Woo! You're so passionate, Okarun!
[23:35] ---
    Next episode,
    "Let's Go to the Cursed House"!
SIGN    EPISODE 12 LET'S GO TO THE CURSED HOUSE
[23:38] ---
    - So, what got into you now?
    - In other words, I'll never give up!

Season 1

12 - Let's Go to the Cursed House

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    We beg you!
[00:03] ---
    Please keep her in this house!
[00:06] ---
    Put her in your house.
[00:08] ---
    That's impossible!
[00:09] ---
    I can only think of the Ayase residence
    that can take in someone like this!
[00:12] ---
    We already got a cat, so why not?
[00:14] ---
    Don't lump me together
    with a nobody like that!
[00:17] ---
    That thing doesn't even eat!
[00:19] ---
    So what happened
    to the male one anyway?
[00:23] ---
    It went back to the chemistry room.
[00:25] ---
    Huh?
[00:26] ---
    "I can stay an anatomical model without
    worries as long as Hana is okay," he said.
[00:31] ---
    But in return, he's gonna
    sneak outta school at night
[00:34] ---
    and he'd like to see Hana then.
[00:36] ---
    We have to rely on
    your magnanimous heart, Auntie!
[00:39] ---
    Please!
[00:40] ---
    Please!
[00:43] ---
    Sheesh. Anatomical models
    getting in heat, huh?
[00:47] ---
    Just be lovey-dovey without
    bothering the neighbors.
[00:50] ---
    Anyway, what about the ball?
[00:53] ---
    Oh, about that...
[00:54] ---
    It was just a Christmas ornament.
[00:57] ---
    Crazy.
[00:59] ---
    Kinda like when animals make
    their butts glow when they're courting?
[01:03] ---
    Then it can't be helped.
[01:04] ---
    No, I'm not convinced at all.
[01:06] ---
    We're gonna eat, so pull the table out.
[01:09] ---
    Okarun, you'll eat too, right?
[01:11] ---
    Oh, sure. I'd love to.
[01:15] ---
    Man, what a pain.
[01:17] ---
    Momo, you have
    some amazing powers, huh?
[01:20] ---
    I understand why Auntie
    trusted you to do the exorcism!
[01:23] ---
    And Okarun, too!
    That transformation was wicked!
[01:26] ---
    It was so badass!
[01:28] ---
    I wish I had some kind of power, too.
[01:31] ---
    Oh, well, um...
[01:33] ---
    I'm getting the table out
    so can you guys move?
[01:35] ---
    Oh, let me help!
[01:38] ---
    Thanks. Hold that end.
[01:40] ---
    Roger that!
[01:43] ---
    Come on!
    You're just getting in my way!
[01:47] ---
    Oh, Momo, hold on.
[01:52] ---
    Got some lint.
[01:56] ---
    Yeah. Thanks.
[01:58] ---
    Gimme more thanks, yeah?
[02:00] ---
    Just move, please.
[02:02] ---
    I'll get outta the way after one more.
[02:03] ---
    Then I'll never say it.
[02:07] ---
    You're the one I fell in love with.
    I won't let go of you no matter what!
[02:12] ---
    If I don't do anything right here and now,
    I'll regret it for the rest of my life!
[02:17] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[02:19] ---
    There's lint!
[02:24] ---
    Got it. Sorry about that.
[02:27] ---
    Thanks.
[02:28] ---
    And what's wrong?
[02:29] ---
    I decided that
    I'm not going to hold back.
[02:32] ---
    I decided that
    I'm going to fight adamantly.
[02:35] ---
    Against what?
[02:38] ---
    I'm looking at only you
[02:42] ---
    Since the day I met you,
    all the way to right now
[02:47] ---
    I want to shout that I love you
[02:51] ---
    Let's try to change tomorrow
[02:53] ---
    Hey, morons. You're in the way.
[02:55] ---
    Settle down!
[02:57] ---
    You'll kick up dust all over the place!
[02:58] ---
    Sorry, ma'am!
[02:59] ---
    And Momo, you're gonna stay over
    at Jiji's place this weekend
[03:03] ---
    so you better have your
    underwear and stuff ready.
[03:04] ---
    Hey! Why would you
    say stuff like that?
[03:07] ---
    Miss Ayase? At Mr. Jiji's house? Why!?
[03:10] ---
    What? I didn't tell you?
[03:13] ---
    Jiji's house is cursed
    and he wants it exorcised.
[03:17] ---
    That's why he came to our place.
[03:23] ---
    Miss Ayase, were you going
    to go there all alone with Mr. Jiji!?
[03:26] ---
    Of course not.
[03:28] ---
    I was planning on asking you
    to come along, Okarun.
[03:30] ---
    I'd feel a bit uneasy doing it by myself.
[03:32] ---
    Then let's hurry up and get it done!
[03:34] ---
    Let's resolve it quickly and have
    Mr. Jiji hurry on home!
[03:38] ---
    Thank you! Woo!
[03:40] ---
    What? What now?
[03:46] ---
    Crap! School at night is super scary!
[03:50] ---
    Isn't it bad to go in without permission?
[03:51] ---
    It's fine. We're just gonna
    play with a Ouija board.
[03:55] ---
    I'll film it on video.
[03:56] ---
    Huh? Hold on,
    do you hear something?
[03:59] ---
    Come on, stop that.
[04:05] ---
    - No way. For real?
    - What? No, scary!
[04:12] ---
    You're in the way! Stand aside!
SIGN    KAMIGOE CITY STATION
[04:28] ---
    Wait for me, Hana!
[04:29] ---
    I'm coming to see you right now!
[04:31] ---
    Hana!
[04:49] ---
    He's not here yet.
[04:53] ---
    And it's four o'clock already.
[05:04] ---
    It's fine. I'll wait here
    with you until he shows up.
[05:09] ---
    I'm sure he'll come.
[05:13] ---
    It'll be okay.
[05:41] ---
    Sorry for being late, Hana.
[05:44] ---
    Taro.
[05:47] ---
    I love you.
[06:15] ---
    Crap. I fell asleep.
[06:17] ---
    What? Hey!
[06:18] ---
    If you're here, you should wake me up!
[06:21] ---
    Thank you so much, Miss Momo!
[06:24] ---
    You were waiting with her!
[06:26] ---
    I had a lot happen tonight, but starting
    tomorrow, I will make sure to come on time.
[06:30] ---
    You're gonna come every day?
SIGN    KEEP OUT JIJI'S ROOM
[06:44] ---
    Damn it, I can't sleep again tonight.
[06:54] ---
    Because of him.
[08:28] ---
    I'll pretend to take this,
SIGN    EPISODE 12
    LET'S GO
    TO THE CURSED HOUSE
[08:30] ---
    and then take this one!
[08:33] ---
    Okarun, you really suck
    at playing Old Maid!
[08:35] ---
    You guys just have demented personalities!
[08:38] ---
    Maybe you're naïve? Yeah, naïve!
[08:40] ---
    A naïve Okarun? Priceless!
[08:42] ---
    I won't play anymore!
[08:44] ---
    Sheesh, that was just a joke.
    We're kidding!
[08:47] ---
    Okarun! I'll give you some candy!
    So cheer up!
[08:51] ---
    Wow, these are so nostalgic.
    I love these!
[08:54] ---
    I bought a ton so you should
    eat some too, Momo!
[08:58] ---
    By the way, I was really impressed that
    the candy shop over there still exists!
[09:01] ---
    That grandma running the shop
    never changes!
[09:04] ---
    She still did the, "Here you go.
    Your change is 500,000 yen," bit.
[09:08] ---
    I was so touched
    like Creamy Mami, woo!
[09:11] ---
    I hate having thoughts like this.
[09:15] ---
    I get fed up
    with my own shortcomings.
[09:19] ---
    But I can't do anything about this feeling.
[09:23] ---
    I have to take my mind off of it somehow.
[09:25] ---
    I have to concentrate
    on getting my nut back!
[09:30] ---
    Nut... Nut... Nut...
[09:34] ---
    Nut...
[09:35] ---
    Nut, nut, nut, nut, nut...
[09:37] ---
    Nut, nut, nut, nut, nut, nut...
[09:40] ---
    Okarun, what's wrong?
[09:40] ---
    My nut!
[09:43] ---
    Okarun, you're thinking about
    your nut too much.
[09:45] ---
    No, that's not it! This is...
[09:47] ---
    Hey, I've been wondering
    for a while now.
[09:50] ---
    Since when have dirty jokes
    been the new thing?
[09:52] ---
    Oh no, that's not it.
    There's a lot of things going on.
[09:56] ---
    Then I'll make
    something else get popular.
[09:58] ---
    Hip joint!
[10:00] ---
    No. Dirty jokes are not in.
[10:02] ---
    Vamo lá!
[10:03] ---
    That's Kazu's thing.
[10:05] ---
    Pathetic! You're so pathetic, Ken!
[10:08] ---
    But at this rate,
    my own heart won't last!
[10:12] ---
    I must take initiative
    in grasping Miss Ayase's interests.
[10:18] ---
    I will now talk about tsuchinokos!
[10:22] ---
    Whoa now!
[10:24] ---
    Tsuchinoko? I wanna hear!
[10:26] ---
    UMAs are not creatures of fantasy!
[10:28] ---
    Actually, even gorillas were UMAs
    until about a hundred years ago!
[10:32] ---
    And I believe that a tsuchinoko will be
    the next UMA to follow in the footsteps of gorillas!
SIGN    SPECIAL FEATURE THE TRUTH ABOUT THE TSUCHINOKO
SIGN    BECOME POPULAR WITH HIGH DIMENSIONAL POWERS
[10:37] ---
    Oh yeah, our village has
    a legend of a great serpent.
[10:40] ---
    A shrine that's said to have 200 years
    of history and worships a great snake.
[10:44] ---
    It's called Tsuchinoko Shrine!
[10:47] ---
    Wow!
[10:48] ---
    Let's go to that shrine! I want to see
    a giant tsuchinoko snake!
[10:51] ---
    Sheesh, you're so hopeless.
    Stay close to me at all times, okay?
[10:55] ---
    Crap! The initiative!
[10:57] ---
    A mummified kappa!
[10:59] ---
    There's a shrine that worships that, too.
[11:01] ---
    So shrines that worship UMAs
    are not that uncommon.
[11:05] ---
    How's that? I'll toss that UMA shrine legend
    right back at ya!
SIGN    GIANT MAN-EATING WORM DEEP DIVE!! WHERE SUBTERRANEANS GATHER!
[11:08] ---
    Seriously? Isn't that totally wicked?
[11:11] ---
    That means kappas exist!
[11:13] ---
    Wait, hold on, then what about Nessie?
[11:15] ---
    They have a photo and everything!
[11:17] ---
    I personally think they exist!
    Because I want to see them!
[11:19] ---
    The photograph of Nessie
    is called the Surgeon's Photograph.
[11:21] ---
    They have since determined it to be a fake,
    but I saw one recently with my own eyes!
[11:25] ---
    Seriously? I wanna see one, too!
[11:27] ---
    Huh? Come to think,
    this is the first time
[11:28] ---
    So they really do exist!
[11:30] ---
    that I've talked this much to someone
    other than Miss Ayase.
[11:31] ---
    More like, I've never been able
    to talk about stuff like this.
[11:33] ---
    This is fun!
[11:33] ---
    This is fun!
[11:35] ---
    Okarun, you're amazing!
    You know everything!
[11:38] ---
    I totally respect you as a friend!
[11:41] ---
    F-Friend.
[11:43] ---
    Huh? We're not?
[11:44] ---
    I'm totally shocked, and absorbed.
[11:47] ---
    You're one of Momo's friends, right?
[11:49] ---
    Then can you make me
    one of your friends, too?
[11:53] ---
    Sorry, I am an awkward fellow
    after all.
[11:57] ---
    I told you to not say that!
[11:59] ---
    Huh? What's up? Why?
[12:00] ---
    You don't have to know, Jiji!
[12:03] ---
    Even Momo is leaving me out
    of the loop, too!
[12:05] ---
    Why isn't he more despicable?
    If he's such a good guy,
[12:11] ---
    then I...
[12:18] ---
    Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
[12:20] ---
    This is a hot springs district!
[12:23] ---
    It's in relation to my dad's work...
[12:25] ---
    Wasn't your dad a teacher or something?
[12:28] ---
    He's doing research on volcanoes
    at a nearby college.
[12:31] ---
    And that's why we all moved here, too.
SIGN    MANJU HOT SPRINGS MANJU
[12:34] ---
    A volcano? Is it okay?
    Not gonna erupt or anything?
SIGN    TARGET PRACTICE AMUSEMENT CENTER
[12:37] ---
    There are records that it erupted
    about 200 years ago.
[12:42] ---
    But it seems to have calmed down since.
[12:44] ---
    I see.
[12:51] ---
    Slurp-a-durp!
[12:53] ---
    Are we gonna...
[12:55] ---
    I don't wanna hear it.
[12:56] ---
    Hurray!
[13:16] ---
    Slurp-a-durp!
[13:19] ---
    Hurray!
[13:33] ---
    This way now!
[13:39] ---
    How is it, Momo?
    Do you see a weird aura or anything?
[13:42] ---
    Just how much stamina do you have?
[13:49] ---
    I don't see anything at all.
[13:52] ---
    Like, it's totally ordinary.
[13:53] ---
    For real?
[13:55] ---
    All the spirit mediums said
    it was totally bad news!
[13:58] ---
    More like I want to get
    some rest first. I'm thirsty.
[14:01] ---
    Wait, you really can't see anything?
[14:03] ---
    Really? For real?
[14:04] ---
    Really, for real.
[14:05] ---
    H-Hold on, Miss Ayase.
[14:10] ---
    Okarun, hurry on over!
[14:12] ---
    Oh, okay.
[14:25] ---
    How is it, Miss Ayase?
[14:27] ---
    Do you see any weird auras or something?
[14:35] ---
    How is it?
[14:36] ---
    The TV turned on by itself!
[14:38] ---
    That was me.
[14:40] ---
    Oh, that scared me!
[14:41] ---
    Why did you suddenly turn on the TV?
[14:44] ---
    Because I'm bored.
[14:46] ---
    There's nothing here.
[14:49] ---
    And that's it for us!
    Back to the studio!
[14:53] ---
    Huh? Are you doubting me?
[14:56] ---
    That's not it.
[14:57] ---
    When spirit mediums came by,
    they said this place was bad news, right?
[15:01] ---
    This is my prediction, but maybe
    those ghosts are hiding right now.
[15:05] ---
    It was like this
    back with Turbo Granny, too.
[15:08] ---
    When the spirit's power is weak,
    it's hard for me to notice them.
[15:11] ---
    So it's easy for them to go into hiding.
[15:14] ---
    In other words...
[15:16] ---
    This'll be a piece of cake, yeah?
[15:17] ---
    How awesome!
[15:19] ---
    Lady Momo! Allow me
    to massage your shoulders!
[15:21] ---
    Hey!
[15:24] ---
    I have no objections.
[15:26] ---
    Oh, I want to drink some juice.
    A sweet one!
[15:31] ---
    I will get some ready right away!
[15:33] ---
    Touched... Shoulder...
[15:36] ---
    Let's get some rest for now.
[15:39] ---
    Okarun, you should sit too.
[15:45] ---
    Spirits are gonna show up at night anyway,
    so let's rest when we can.
[15:55] ---
    Okay.
[15:56] ---
    And so, I'm gonna head out
    into the hot springs district!
[15:58] ---
    Huh?
[16:00] ---
    Did you just say there were no spirits
    because you wanted to go to the hot springs?
[16:04] ---
    That's not true! There really aren't any!
[16:07] ---
    Anyway, please have fun with Jiji, okay?
[16:09] ---
    Huh? You're really gonna go?
[16:11] ---
    What are we gonna do
    if a spirit shows up?
[16:14] ---
    It's fine! I'll be back by evening!
[16:18] ---
    I'm heading out!
[16:19] ---
    - Hurray!
    - Wait, Miss Ayase!
[16:21] ---
    Hurray!
[16:22] ---
    Lady Momo! I have brought you
    your sweet juice.
[16:25] ---
    Huh?
[16:27] ---
    Miss Ayase went to the hot springs district.
[16:29] ---
    Seriously? I wanted to go with her!
[16:37] ---
    Wanna play soccer?
[16:41] ---
    You trap it, then...
[16:42] ---
    Yup, that's it!
[16:43] ---
    You're good!
[16:44] ---
    Now try kicking it my way!
[16:46] ---
    Get your pivot foot next to the ball, and
    kick it here with the inside of your foot!
[16:51] ---
    Oh, I'm sorry!
[16:53] ---
    It's okay!
[16:54] ---
    Here!
[16:56] ---
    Sorry about that!
[16:58] ---
    I'm so pathetic.
[16:59] ---
    I'm glad Miss Ayase isn't here!
[17:02] ---
    But if I practice here,
[17:04] ---
    I might be able to show Miss Ayase
    when the time is right!
[17:06] ---
    Oh, that's amazing, Okarun!
    You're so cool!
[17:11] ---
    Hey, hey, Okarun!
[17:13] ---
    Oh, sorry.
[17:15] ---
    You in love with Momo?
[17:19] ---
    Huh?
[17:22] ---
    I hope they're getting along.
[17:26] ---
    It's a first guy friend for Okarun,
    so I'm sure I'd just get in the way.
[17:31] ---
    Good for you, Okarun.
[17:36] ---
    I mean, Momo is cute.
[17:38] ---
    - For me, Miss Ayase was my first friend.
    - Hey, pass!
[17:41] ---
    I respect her, and she's very dear to me!
[17:45] ---
    Nice pass!
[17:46] ---
    I see, someone dear to you.
    Someone you respect.
[17:52] ---
    I really love Momo's face
    and personality.
[17:58] ---
    I do as well!
[18:00] ---
    Huh?
[18:01] ---
    You just said respect!
[18:03] ---
    It's respect on top of all that!
[18:05] ---
    Isn't that a bit unfair?
[18:07] ---
    Then I'll add how I love
    Momo's eyes! There, I win!
[18:10] ---
    Wha...
[18:10] ---
    Then I'll say all that, plus I love her mouth!
[18:13] ---
    There! I win!
[18:14] ---
    Nope, no good! That's no good!
[18:16] ---
    You can't say "no good"!
[18:18] ---
    I first started off saying I like her face,
    so yours doesn't count!
[18:21] ---
    Then your love of her eyes
    won't count either!
[18:24] ---
    It's fine!
[18:25] ---
    I'm Momo's childhood friend!
[18:28] ---
    There, I win!
[18:29] ---
    Grrrr!
[18:34] ---
    Win...
[18:35] ---
    Huh? In what?
[18:36] ---
    You can't just say
    you win outta nowhere!
[18:39] ---
    This is...
[18:40] ---
    Right, I'm sorry.
[18:41] ---
    What?
[18:45] ---
    I'm starting to feel dizzy.
    Time to head out.
[18:51] ---
    It's too bad that it's an open-air bath,
    but the walls are too high to see any scenery.
[18:59] ---
    Oh, we already have someone here.
[19:04] ---
    And she's quite a hottie!
[19:11] ---
    What!?
[19:13] ---
    You're so stubborn!
    But I'll admit you've got some guts!
[19:17] ---
    I'm not done yet! I haven't given up!
[19:22] ---
    Hey, let's shake hands as friends!
[19:26] ---
    Oh fine.
[19:29] ---
    I got you now!
[19:30] ---
    Damn you!
[19:32] ---
    Miss Ayase would never be okay
    with something this sneaky!
[19:35] ---
    Admit defeat, Okarun!
[19:38] ---
    No way! I'm not gonna give up!
[19:40] ---
    Okarun!
[19:43] ---
    Mr. Jiji, stop! Look at that!
[19:50] ---
    Look at what?
[19:51] ---
    That! Look!
[19:54] ---
    Isn't it a bit strange there?
[20:01] ---
    There wasn't a room
    right next to the foyer, was there?
[20:06] ---
    Young lady, you came
    to a co-ed bath while being so young?
SIGN    MALE/FEMALE COMMUNAL USE WATCH YOUR FEET
[20:11] ---
    There's no way I could read that!
[20:13] ---
    Whew, so hot.
[20:15] ---
    A beer would be nice right now!
[20:17] ---
    Paradise!
[20:19] ---
    I didn't notice at all, but you're right.
[20:22] ---
    It was jutting out
    when we look at it from the outside.
[20:24] ---
    There should be something here.
[20:30] ---
    It's hollow.
[20:32] ---
    Yikes. What should I do?
[20:34] ---
    I want to get out right now,
[20:36] ---
    but those guys are in the way
    so it's hard to get out.
[20:38] ---
    Oh no! I have to hurry out of here.
[20:40] ---
    I'm starting to feel lightheaded!
[20:43] ---
    Let's try breaking it down.
[20:44] ---
    Is it all right?
[20:45] ---
    Probably not. We're renting the house,
    but we gotta do it, right?
[20:49] ---
    There has to be some reason...
[20:52] ---
    A reason why my parents
    ended up that way!
[20:55] ---
    Young lady, do you know about gators?
[20:58] ---
    Huh?
[20:59] ---
    Gators? You mean those things
    that look like lizards?
[21:03] ---
    Nope, that's not it!
[21:04] ---
    They're guys who often show up
    in co-ed baths and target naked women.
[21:16] ---
    Can I deal with all of them
    using my psychic powers?
[21:29] ---
    I've heard that a pack of wolves disperse
    as soon as you strike their leader.
[21:42] ---
    Crap!

Season 2

13 - Like, This Is the Legend of the Giant Snake

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:21] ---
    I've heard that a pack of wolves disperses
    as soon as you strike their leader.
[00:41] ---
    Crap! I feel lightheaded.
[00:54] ---
    So hot!
[00:55] ---
    Yow! Yikes!
[00:56] ---
    What did he do?
[00:57] ---
    Maybe he touched a weird spot?
[00:59] ---
    Hey! The girl's getting away!
[01:01] ---
    Get her!
[01:06] ---
    Look out! The fence is falling down!
    Let's get outta here quick!
[01:10] ---
    We're gonna be crushed!
[01:12] ---
    Dunno what's going on,
    but now's my chance!
[01:40] ---
    Whoa.
[01:42] ---
    What a great view.
[01:46] ---
    Good thing this happened to be
    a run-down hot springs.
[01:49] ---
    Talk about lucky. Yep, I sure am.
[01:54] ---
    Turbo Granny? What are you doing here?
[01:56] ---
    Don't underestimate me.
[01:58] ---
    It clicked when Seiko mentioned
    the lad's address.
[02:02] ---
    That was hot springs territory.
[02:06] ---
    That's why I stealthily
    snuck into your backpack.
[02:11] ---
    Why can't you just ask to come?
[02:13] ---
    More like, what am I gonna do
    about this building?
[02:16] ---
    Forget it, it was already run-down.
    It's not like I did anything.
[02:21] ---
    Damn it! What the heck?
[02:23] ---
    Oww.
[02:25] ---
    Who the hell did all this?
[02:28] ---
    Are you the ones responsible?
[02:30] ---
    Hey! These guys are from the Kito family!
[02:32] ---
    You guys are still up to no good?
[02:34] ---
    Crap! Those are
    chamber of commerce guys!
[02:42] ---
    - Don't let 'em get away!
    - Scumbags! I hope you're locked up forever!
[02:45] ---
    Whew, that was a good bath.
[02:49] ---
    You saved me. Thanks.
SIGN    EPISODE 13
    LIKE, THIS IS THE LEGEND
    OF THE GIANT SNAKE
[02:52] ---
    Who would ever save you?
[02:54] ---
    The powers within this vessel
    just came out on its own.
[02:58] ---
    I guess so.
[03:00] ---
    Anyway, did you see Jiji's house?
[03:03] ---
    What do you think, Turbo Granny?
[03:05] ---
    I couldn't see anything at all.
[03:08] ---
    That place is no good.
[03:10] ---
    That house has soaked up
    too much human blood.
[03:22] ---
    Wicked! What is this?
[03:24] ---
    What should we do, Okarun?
[03:26] ---
    I'm not sure, either.
[03:28] ---
    For now, let's wait
    until Miss Ayase comes back.
[03:31] ---
    It's dangerous
    to haphazardly jump in there.
[03:36] ---
    Miss Ayase is back.
[03:38] ---
    Nice timing!
[03:40] ---
    Momo! I found something...
[05:24] ---
    You know that stupid family
    on the corner?
[05:27] ---
    They never say hello!
[05:30] ---
    Really. That makes me sick.
[05:33] ---
    This is our territory after all.
[05:36] ---
    People who don't know about manners
    need to be taught a lesson.
[05:40] ---
    Jin, don't just stand there.
    Sit down and have some snacks.
[05:45] ---
    Thanks!
[05:47] ---
    That's right, you better stay friendly.
[05:50] ---
    You don't have to pay rent
    because I'm so thoughtful.
[05:54] ---
    Thanks!
[05:55] ---
    Kids have such a hard time
    when their parents are so weak.
[05:58] ---
    If it weren't for us, you'd be out
    on the street with nowhere to go.
[06:03] ---
    That's right. You should be grateful.
[06:06] ---
    Mr. Jiji, what's the meaning of this?
[06:09] ---
    This is a rental house.
[06:11] ---
    While my parents are hospitalized,
    I don't have to pay rent.
[06:15] ---
    These folks are the Kitos, the landlords.
[06:18] ---
    Thanks to them, I can stay in this house.
[06:22] ---
    Then, we really did a bad thing
    to that wall.
[06:26] ---
    If they ask, say you don't know.
[06:28] ---
    Hey Jin.
[06:30] ---
    You disappeared without telling us.
[06:35] ---
    My friend said he wanted to come visit,
    so I went to go pick him up!
[06:40] ---
    I can at least do that, right?
[06:42] ---
    Not that I think you would,
[06:44] ---
    but you didn't try to bring in
    another spirit medium or something, did you?
[06:51] ---
    Huh? Gimme a break already!
[06:54] ---
    We don't have any ghosts
    around here, you dimwit!
[06:56] ---
    Are you trying to ruin
    our property's good reputation?
[06:59] ---
    Don't go around lying
    to people about ghosts!
[07:02] ---
    Oh, no, no. Does he look like
    a spirit medium to you?
[07:06] ---
    I was simply fooled
    by those other people!
[07:10] ---
    I have a hunter's license, you know?
[07:13] ---
    Unfortunate accidents happen
    pretty often in the mountains.
[07:17] ---
    For instance, if I was hunting a boar,
[07:21] ---
    and a person just happened
    to jump in front of me.
[07:26] ---
    Oh come on, now.
[07:28] ---
    Even if you have a license,
[07:30] ---
    pointing a gun at people
    will get you in trouble with the police.
[07:34] ---
    Hello there!
[07:44] ---
    Man, that was a pain.
[07:46] ---
    The chamber of commerce guys
    found us.
[07:50] ---
    If Officer Tsuru didn't help us out,
    we'd have been in trouble.
[07:54] ---
    That place was way too run-down.
[07:56] ---
    We have to find our next spot.
[07:58] ---
    It's troublesome for me
    if you're too reckless.
[08:01] ---
    It's hard dealing with the aftermath.
[08:03] ---
    What did you guys do this time?
[08:06] ---
    That's a secret from you, Mom.
[08:07] ---
    If anyone in the Kito family
    gets arrested, it's your fault, Tsuru-chan.
[08:12] ---
    Yo, Jin! Where have you been?
[08:15] ---
    Well, I was out with my friend.
[08:17] ---
    Don't you dare lie, okay?
[08:20] ---
    I hate liars more than anything else.
[08:24] ---
    Sure.
[08:25] ---
    Who's this guy?
[08:27] ---
    Oh, he's my best friend,
    and he wanted to come visit.
[08:34] ---
    So what's Jin's favorite soccer team?
[08:38] ---
    You'd know
    if you were his best friend, right?
[08:40] ---
    Um, he's...
[08:41] ---
    Jin, you stay quiet.
[08:44] ---
    It's not like you guys just met, is it?
[08:48] ---
    If you weren't actually his best friend,
[08:51] ---
    I'd have to ask why
    Jin brought you to this house.
[09:01] ---
    Z...
[09:03] ---
    Zaint-Germain.
[09:12] ---
    Well, well!
[09:14] ---
    You do know.
[09:16] ---
    He's Jin's best friend.
[09:24] ---
    Okarun! Nice one!
[09:26] ---
    Hey, Jin!
[09:29] ---
    There was one more. A girl.
[09:33] ---
    When's she coming back?
[09:36] ---
    Let's see, a girl.
    I wonder who that is?
[09:40] ---
    Come on, Jin. Are you telling the truth?
[09:44] ---
    Huh? Well, yes.
[09:46] ---
    You did yourself in just now.
[09:49] ---
    You lied to us.
[09:56] ---
    This must be the shrine
    for the Tsuchinoko, right?
[10:03] ---
    But more like, what's up with that guy?
[10:06] ---
    Do you need anything?
[10:08] ---
    Oh, um...
[10:10] ---
    Is this the Tsuchinoko shrine?
[10:12] ---
    Oh, yes, yes.
[10:15] ---
    Apologies for the awkward sight.
[10:17] ---
    I'm trying to become a BooTuber.
[10:19] ---
    Please, come on in.
[10:22] ---
    Are you sure it's okay to show me?
    Isn't that valuable?
[10:26] ---
    Not at all. I can't make any money
    off of something like this.
[10:30] ---
    Man, I wanna be a BooTuber.
[10:32] ---
    Wow, I can't wait!
[10:35] ---
    I should come back here again
    with Okarun!
[10:41] ---
    A Tsuchinoko?
[10:43] ---
    Doesn't look like it.
[10:44] ---
    I agree with you.
SIGN    GREAT SERPENT LORD SHRINE
[10:47] ---
    According to documents
    remaining in this shrine,
[10:49] ---
    "Dragon rising to heaven
    will cast a rainbow,
[10:52] ---
    and the wrath of the mountain
    will engulf the village."
[10:56] ---
    This region worshipped a giant snake.
[10:59] ---
    It was believed that when the giant snake living
    in the volcano gets hungry, the volcano erupts.
[11:06] ---
    Back then, the people offered
    one child from the village as sacrifice
[11:10] ---
    to satiate the giant snake's hunger.
[11:13] ---
    By doing so for the past 200 years,
    it has kept the volcano from erupting,
[11:18] ---
    and was even granted
    the blessing of hot springs.
[11:24] ---
    The thing that looks like an umbilical cord
    is supposedly from when the giant snake molted.
[11:28] ---
    Nowadays, by enshrining that giant snake skin,
    it's preventing the volcano from erupting.
[11:34] ---
    Then, what about the Tsuchinoko?
[11:35] ---
    My father said there would be more tourists
    if we called it a Tsuchinoko.
[11:39] ---
    Son of a...
[11:40] ---
    But thanks to that,
    people like you do come visit.
[11:45] ---
    This legend of the giant snake is a human sin.
[11:49] ---
    People who are robbed
    of logical thinking due to fear
[11:52] ---
    can believe in and even execute
    human sacrifices.
[11:55] ---
    So we don't repeat such sins,
    I take the time and tell visitors of this tale.
[12:02] ---
    Although I really want to become
    a headstand BooTuber.
[12:06] ---
    Wait, why don't you tell that story
    on BooTube?
[12:12] ---
    There was no Tsuchinoko.
[12:14] ---
    Okarun is going to be really disappointed.
[12:18] ---
    But he might like that old,
    local folktale story.
[12:23] ---
    Okay, then.
[12:25] ---
    I wonder if the two boys
    are deepening their friendship.
[12:30] ---
    I'm home. Did the ghosts show up?
[12:38] ---
    Our offerings are finally all here.
[12:41] ---
    Now let's start our festival.
[13:03] ---
    Ouch.
[13:05] ---
    Boobies!
[13:35] ---
    Crap. I'm getting dizzy.
[13:39] ---
    There, there, there.
[13:41] ---
    Good girl. Don't be scared.
[13:46] ---
    God damn turd!
[13:54] ---
    Just when I was sleeping soundly...
[13:57] ---
    Who the hell was squishing me like that?
[14:00] ---
    Turbo Granny! Thanks!
[14:02] ---
    And it'd help a ton
    if you could lend me a hand.
[14:04] ---
    I ain't gonna help ya.
[14:07] ---
    So, who are these guys?
[14:10] ---
    That's what I wanna know!
[14:14] ---
    Calm down, young lady.
[14:16] ---
    Stay away from me!
[14:17] ---
    Get outta this house right now!
[14:19] ---
    Hurry up!
[14:42] ---
    That hurt.
[14:47] ---
    Is she for real?
[14:58] ---
    Jennifer!
[15:00] ---
    Lopez!
[15:02] ---
    Anaconda!
[15:13] ---
    Mom is the strongest
    old woman in the Kito family!
[15:18] ---
    Who exactly is that girl?
[15:20] ---
    It seemed like she was using
    some sort of strange power.
[15:26] ---
    What exactly is that old hag?
[15:28] ---
    She's just a powerful old hag.
[15:30] ---
    Like they actually exist.
[15:32] ---
    You got one in your own house.
[15:34] ---
    True.
[15:35] ---
    Mom, look at that!
[15:37] ---
    Things are floating, and there's a talking cat!
[15:40] ---
    More like, what's with this room?
    It's seriously gross!
[15:44] ---
    Who the hell is this?
[15:46] ---
    She doesn't seem to be
    a spirit medium.
[15:49] ---
    If you're getting in the way of the festival,
[15:53] ---
    then that means you're here
    to destroy this village.
[15:57] ---
    The Kito Family has protected
    this land for generations.
[16:02] ---
    We won't let you have your way.
[16:04] ---
    Huh?
[16:05] ---
    You barged into someone's house, thrashed it
    all up, and that's what you say?
[16:10] ---
    Get out of here!
[16:12] ---
    Come on now.
[16:13] ---
    Who do you think is responsible for
    letting you bathe in the hot springs in peace?
[16:19] ---
    It's because we've been giving offerings
[16:21] ---
    to the Great Serpent Lord
    for the past 200 years!
[16:25] ---
    Thanks to that, the volcano
    is held back from erupting,
[16:28] ---
    and we're given the blessing of
    the Great Serpent Lord through the hot springs.
[16:32] ---
    If we, the Kito family,
    didn't manage this land,
[16:36] ---
    this village would be buried
    in magma by now.
[16:39] ---
    Hold on a second! Did you say
    you were offering sacrifices?
[16:42] ---
    Yeah. You deaf?
[16:46] ---
    This place is where the original altar was.
[16:49] ---
    This is where human sacrifices were made.
[16:53] ---
    Its appearance changed with the times,
    but this house is still that altar.
[17:00] ---
    And we of the Kito family
    invite sacrifices into this house,
[17:07] ---
    and offer them
    to the Great Serpent Lord.
[17:13] ---
    No way.
[17:14] ---
    So that's why Jiji's parents...
[17:17] ---
    We lucked out.
    We have exactly three people.
[17:21] ---
    We were almost short on offerings.
[17:29] ---
    The Great Serpent Lord
    is quite hungry right now.
[17:39] ---
    What the hell is this?
[17:42] ---
    Crap, crap!
[17:43] ---
    The floor turned into sand!
[17:45] ---
    Wanna go at it, huh?
[17:47] ---
    I have to get out of here!
[17:53] ---
    Think you can take me?!
[18:05] ---
    I won't let you cross this threshold.
[18:08] ---
    You'll be swallowed up by that quicksand
    and become the Great Serpent Lord's offering!
[18:14] ---
    This is seriously bad!
    Turbo Granny, do something!
[18:23] ---
    We've stepped into the quicksand!
[18:25] ---
    Into the Great Serpent Lord's realm!
[18:27] ---
    Miss Ayase, over here!
[18:29] ---
    Before it's too late!
[18:30] ---
    Momo! Use your psychic powers!
[18:32] ---
    Both of you, nice one!
    You're a lifesaver!
[18:49] ---
    Okarun, are you okay?
[18:51] ---
    Somehow...
[18:56] ---
    Wait, are you serious?
[18:59] ---
    How the hell are we gonna get back?
[19:05] ---
    What the hell are all these houses?
[19:07] ---
    Why are there so many underground?
[19:10] ---
    Momo! Okarun! Help me!
[19:14] ---
    Jiji! Where are you?
[19:17] ---
    Over here!
[19:19] ---
    Jiji!
[19:23] ---
    I'm gonna fall!
[19:24] ---
    I'll help you right now!
[20:06] ---
    Great Serpent Lord!
[20:07] ---
    How blessed we are by your arrival!
[20:10] ---
    We, the Kito family,
    are your faithful emissaries!
[20:17] ---
    Get the pose right or it'll eat you!
[20:19] ---
    That's the Great Serpent Lord!
[20:21] ---
    I've never seen it before.
[20:22] ---
    On this occasion,
    we present those three as sacrifices.
[20:26] ---
    Please do not mistake them
    for members of the Kito Family!
[20:29] ---
    Great Serpent Lord?
    You mean the one in this region's legend?
[20:31] ---
    Crap! It wasn't just a myth?
[20:34] ---
    That's a Kuragari.
[20:36] ---
    What the hell is a Kuragari?
[20:38] ---
    You know what that is?
[20:40] ---
    It's a Mongolian Death Worm!
[20:47] ---
    It's a giant man-eating earthworm UMA
    said to live in the Gobi Desert!
[20:51] ---
    But the stories about it
    say it's about 1.5 to 2 meters long.
[20:55] ---
    I've never heard of a Death Worm this huge!
[20:57] ---
    Then for the past 200 years,
[21:00] ---
    those guys have been offering sacrifices
    to an earthworm UMA?
[21:03] ---
    Now, Great Serpent Lord!
    Please feast on those three there!
[21:09] ---
    Hey! Gimme a break, damn hag!
[21:12] ---
    That's not a god you're worshipping!
[21:15] ---
    That's just a man-eating earthworm!
[21:18] ---
    Be appeased...
[21:21] ---
    Be appeased...
[21:31] ---
    It ate them!
[21:33] ---
    What are we gonna do about this?
[21:34] ---
    There's no way we can
    defeat something like this!
[21:37] ---
    This is definitely bad.
[21:40] ---
    Let's hide inside a house for now!
[21:42] ---
    Yeah, we can't stay outside.
[21:51] ---
    Both of you, hurry!
[21:53] ---
    That thing will spot you!
[22:00] ---
    What's wrong? Are both of you okay?
[23:52] ---
    Everyone, let's go!
[23:53] ---
    Yeah!
[23:54] ---
    The savage legend of the Great Serpent!
[23:57] ---
    Naki Kito! Work at hand never fails!
[24:00] ---
    That which is born from evil conventions...
    Its name is...
[24:04] ---
    Next episode, "The Evil Eye"!
SIGN    EPISODE 14 THE EVIL EYE

Season 2

14 - The Evil Eye

Season 2

15 - You Won't Get Away with This!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:23] ---
    Okarun!
[00:30] ---
    You're siding with humans, too?
[00:33] ---
    Despite being a yokai monster?
[00:36] ---
    You're not getting away with that.
[00:39] ---
    But I'm runnin' for now.
SIGN    EPISODE 15
    YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!
[01:25] ---
    Thanks, Okarun! You're a lifesaver!
[01:28] ---
    Momo-chan,
    things aren't looking so good.
[01:40] ---
    What is that?
[01:42] ---
    Mongolian Death Worms are known
    to weaken the enemy
[01:45] ---
    by shocking it with electricity
    and spraying poisonous fluids.
[01:49] ---
    Damn that thing.
[01:50] ---
    It's gonna hide in the dirt
    and attack us with poison, huh?
[01:53] ---
    We have to escape from here soon,
    or we're in trouble!
[01:57] ---
    Still...
[01:59] ---
    You say escape, but...
[02:05] ---
    The exit is way too high up there!
    We can't reach it!
[02:08] ---
    Does that earthworm have any weaknesses?
[02:10] ---
    Sunlight!
[02:12] ---
    Underground UMAs and underground people,
    including Mongolian Death Worms,
[02:15] ---
    have a symbiotic relationship
    with bacteria,
[02:17] ---
    so they can't withstand strong
    ultraviolet light from the sun!
[02:20] ---
    How can we lure
    such a huge thing out of here?
[02:23] ---
    What should we do?
    I can't leave Jiji like that, either.
[02:27] ---
    If we don't do something...
[02:30] ---
    I might be able to do something
    if it's just you, Miss Ayase.
[02:34] ---
    No way!
[02:35] ---
    There's no meaning if I escape alone!
[02:37] ---
    But that's the only thing
    we can do right now.
[02:40] ---
    We don't have time.
[02:42] ---
    If you can get up there, you can use a rope
    or something to pull us back up.
[02:47] ---
    What are we gonna do about Jiji?
[02:49] ---
    He's not listening to us at all right now!
[02:52] ---
    I will do something about Mr. Jiji!
[02:55] ---
    So, I'm begging you!
[02:56] ---
    You need to escape first
    so you can save us!
[03:16] ---
    I promise I'll save you.
[03:20] ---
    Help Jiji, please.
[03:25] ---
    Okay!
[03:26] ---
    All right, Momo-chan...
[03:30] ---
    Are you ready?
[03:35] ---
    Hold on, what are you gonna do with this?
[03:37] ---
    I'm gonna kick it with all I've got.
[03:40] ---
    So push that chair away
    with your psychic powers.
[03:43] ---
    Huh?
[03:44] ---
    Imagine something like a multistage rocket.
[03:47] ---
    That's so reckless!
[03:49] ---
    Won't that break your legs?
[03:50] ---
    We'll do this in one go.
[03:52] ---
    - Three...
    - Wait, hold on!
[03:54] ---
    - Two...
    - Too fast!
[03:56] ---
    One.
[03:57] ---
    Wait!
[04:04] ---
    Damn it!
[04:13] ---
    You. Gotta. Be. Kidding!
[04:28] ---
    Hurray! She made it!
[04:31] ---
    Found you.
[04:39] ---
    Rejoice.
[04:41] ---
    You are the first one to die.
[04:46] ---
    I thought I told you.
[04:48] ---
    You're not getting away with this.
[05:00] ---
    Oww.
[05:01] ---
    I made it out!
[05:06] ---
    There aren't any ropes here!
[05:08] ---
    What should I do? Something long...
[05:10] ---
    Where is something long?
[05:13] ---
    This is it!
[05:16] ---
    Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
[05:19] ---
    Hurry, damn it!
[05:22] ---
    I got a huge haul here!
[05:25] ---
    No, it's short!
[05:28] ---
    Oh, sheesh! This isn't gonna work!
[05:31] ---
    Calm down! Think!
    Is there some other way?
[05:36] ---
    Stop the poison...
[05:38] ---
    Defeat the earthworm...
[05:40] ---
    No, that's impossible.
[05:52] ---
    Suicide.
[05:55] ---
    My smartphone...
[05:56] ---
    is gone!
[05:58] ---
    God damn it!
[06:02] ---
    This is it!
[06:22] ---
    Fire!
[06:24] ---
    Someone! Call for a fire truck!
    There's a fire!
[06:29] ---
    Someone!
[06:32] ---
    Here they come!
[06:33] ---
    Hang in there, Okarun.
    I'll save you right now!
[09:28] ---
    Scurrying around like a mouse...
[09:32] ---
    You infuriate me.
[09:38] ---
    But that's what I want.
[09:40] ---
    I want to play my games seriously.
[09:43] ---
    And use my entire body to the fullest.
[09:51] ---
    That earthworm's poison.
[09:54] ---
    It's a bit trying on this vessel.
[09:57] ---
    It's unfortunate,
    but this is where we stop.
[10:39] ---
    You will never be able
    to leave that cursed house.
[10:50] ---
    I'm home.
[11:18] ---
    How exhilarating!
[11:20] ---
    After you will be that girl!
[11:23] ---
    I will torment that supple skin,
    and torture, and torture...
[11:31] ---
    That's enough chatting.
[11:35] ---
    There are things you shouldn't have done,
[11:38] ---
    and you did three of them.
[11:40] ---
    One. You harmed Momo-chan.
[11:45] ---
    Two.
[11:49] ---
    You violated my friend.
[11:52] ---
    Jiji would never ever harm Momo-chan.
[11:58] ---
    Give me back my dear friend!
[12:18] ---
    I'm going full throttle.
[12:22] ---
    One!
[12:23] ---
    Two, three, four, five, six,
    seven, eight, nine,
[12:25] ---
    10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20!
[12:29] ---
    One! Two, three, four,
[12:31] ---
    5-6-7-8-9-10-
    11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20!
[12:35] ---
    1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-
    11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20!
[12:41] ---
    1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-
    11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20!
[12:47] ---
    1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-
    11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19...
[12:54] ---
    Twenty!
[13:09] ---
    And the third thing
    you shouldn't have done is...
[13:15] ---
    You really pissed me off.
[13:19] ---
    I'm seriously bummed by this.
[13:26] ---
    Miss Ayase...
[13:29] ---
    Help...
[13:41] ---
    I can't...
[13:42] ---
    I don't have time to be collapsed
    in a place like this!
[13:46] ---
    Miss Ayase might be waiting for me!
[13:49] ---
    I have to get as high as possible
    so it's easier to make an escape.
[14:05] ---
    So heavy!
[14:11] ---
    Turd nuggets! Damn it all!
[14:23] ---
    Damn turd nuggets!
[14:26] ---
    This isn't coming off at all!
[14:28] ---
    Take this, and this, and this!
[14:31] ---
    It's so damn sticky!
[14:32] ---
    That turdtastic earthworm!
[14:35] ---
    I'll kill it off!
[14:40] ---
    Am I going to spend my entire life
    in this craptastic spot?
[14:45] ---
    No!
[14:47] ---
    Someone help me!
[14:51] ---
    It really is Turbo Granny's voice!
[14:54] ---
    Weren't you with Miss Ayase?
[14:57] ---
    Hold on a sec, I'll rescue you!
[15:00] ---
    Hurry on with it!
[15:03] ---
    Let's see...
[15:04] ---
    Oh, there it is.
[15:19] ---
    You're slow, turd nugget!
[15:22] ---
    Hurry up and get me out, slowpoke!
[15:24] ---
    Don't rush me.
    If I trip, it's all over!
[15:28] ---
    You're such a clumsy four-eyes!
[15:36] ---
    Don't trip!
[15:40] ---
    Don't trip!
[15:42] ---
    Don't you dare trip!
[15:46] ---
    Hyah!
[15:53] ---
    You turd nugget!
    Why are you such a useless piece of crap?
[15:57] ---
    Help me!
[15:58] ---
    Use my powers, you idiot!
[16:01] ---
    Why are you even here
    with that stupid mug?
[16:03] ---
    I've already gone full throttle twice,
    so I can't transform!
[16:06] ---
    Just kiss everything goodbye then!
[16:09] ---
    - Momo!
    - Miss Ayase!
[16:12] ---
    Help!
[16:25] ---
    Were you the one who started the fire?
[16:28] ---
    Huh?
[16:29] ---
    I did, but never mind that.
[16:31] ---
    What's more important
[16:32] ---
    is that a group called the Kito family
    has been committing murders right here!
[16:36] ---
    This is the Enjoji residence, right?
[16:38] ---
    Did you have a grudge against them?
[16:40] ---
    Huh?
[16:41] ---
    Hold on a sec, this is going nowhere!
[16:44] ---
    You can tell me the details at the station.
[16:47] ---
    For now, get in the car.
[16:50] ---
    Are your parents home right now?
[16:53] ---
    Crap.
[16:55] ---
    If I don't hurry, the sun will set!
[16:58] ---
    Mr. Firefighter!
    That's enough for the house!
[17:01] ---
    Spray more water on the ground!
[17:04] ---
    Spray tons of water on the ground!
[17:06] ---
    You! Stand back!
[17:08] ---
    - Don't worry about the house!
    - Quiet down!
[17:11] ---
    - Let me go! Mr. Firefighter, please!
    - Hurry up and get in the car!
[17:15] ---
    Please! Spray water on the ground!
[17:24] ---
    An earthquake!
[17:25] ---
    It's a big one!
[17:27] ---
    - It's getting stronger!
    - Everyone, remain calm!
[17:29] ---
    Don't move until the quaking stops!
[17:42] ---
    Here it comes!
[18:04] ---
    What is that?
[18:06] ---
    Run for it!
[18:07] ---
    All right! I made it in the nick of time!
[18:10] ---
    The underground UMA's weakness
    is sunlight!
[18:12] ---
    If we can't pull it up by force,
    we have to have it come out on its own!
[18:18] ---
    Oh, it's an earthworm.
[18:20] ---
    Momo, do you know why
    earthworms come out of the soil?
[18:24] ---
    Huh? Nope, I don't know.
[18:27] ---
    Earthworms breathe through their skin.
[18:29] ---
    So the day after a rainy day,
[18:31] ---
    the soil is soaked with water
    and earthworms can't breathe anymore.
[18:36] ---
    That's why they feel distressed
    and come outside.
[18:39] ---
    But it's hot in the summer,
    so they end up shriveling.
[18:42] ---
    I see. Jiji, you're so smart.
[18:45] ---
    That's why they call it earthworm suicide.
[19:02] ---
    Whoa, whoa, whoa!
    The house is in the way.
[19:09] ---
    This damn house has been nothing...
[19:12] ---
    but an eyesore!
[20:13] ---
    Did I defeat it?
[20:20] ---
    Hey, punk.
[20:21] ---
    Ya wanna bring it on, huh?
[20:24] ---
    Wanna come at me, huh?
[20:26] ---
    Hey!
[20:30] ---
    It moved!
[20:59] ---
    Oh, I'm alive! Mom, I'm alive!
[21:04] ---
    You guys are alive! Good for you.
[21:08] ---
    Damn you. How dare you do that?
[21:11] ---
    That earthworm ate you.
[21:13] ---
    God damn it!
[21:16] ---
    I'm talkin' about how you did
    the Great Serpent Lord in, moron!
[21:21] ---
    Says someone who was eaten by it.
[21:24] ---
    Sorry, but I don't have the time
    to be dealing with all you guys.
[21:28] ---
    I have to save Okarun and the others.
[21:32] ---
    Wait, another earthquake?
[21:38] ---
    Crap! It's a huge one!
[21:40] ---
    Now you've done it!
[21:48] ---
    It's all your fault, you hear?
[21:50] ---
    You did all of this!
[21:54] ---
    Huh?
[22:11] ---
    You can't be serious!
[23:52] ---
    Miss Ayase! Do you know why earthworms
    come up to the surface after the rain?
[23:55] ---
    What now?
[23:56] ---
    Earthworms breathe through their skin,
[23:58] ---
    so when water pools underground,
    they come up to the surface to breathe.
[23:59] ---
    Yes, I know, I heard about it from Jiji.
[24:01] ---
    Also, when there are too many of them,
[24:03] ---
    there is a theory they do so to avoid
    overpopulation! On top of that, creatures...
[24:03] ---
    I get it! Next episode,
    "That's, Like, Way Deadly!"
SIGN    EPISODE 16
    THAT'S, LIKE, WAY DEADLY

Season 2

16 - That's, Like, Way Deadly

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:15] ---
    The volcano has just erupted.
SIGN    EPISODE 16
    THAT'S, LIKE, WAY DEADLY
[00:21] ---
    Everyone in the surrounding areas
    should evacuate immediately.
[00:27] ---
    Please prioritize your lives.
[00:32] ---
    The volcano has just erupted.
[00:41] ---
    That's why I told you!
[00:43] ---
    Because we kept offering sacrifices,
[00:46] ---
    the Great Serpent Lord protected
    this land from the volcano!
[00:56] ---
    But it's all over now.
[00:58] ---
    The Great Serpent Lord has passed away.
[01:01] ---
    All because of you!
[01:06] ---
    "Dragon rising to heaven
    will cast a rainbow,
[01:08] ---
    and the wrath of the mountain
    will engulf the village."
[01:11] ---
    It's just like the legend says
    that's been passed down in this village!
[01:14] ---
    How are you going to take responsibility
    for all this, damn you?
[01:18] ---
    Damn it!
[01:22] ---
    Strange.
[01:24] ---
    Earthworms can't be in the sun.
[01:28] ---
    Then why is there a legend
    of a dragon rising to heaven?
[01:32] ---
    Hey, you listening?
[01:34] ---
    Damn it!
[01:36] ---
    That's not it.
[01:37] ---
    The legend isn't about
    the Great Serpent at all!
[01:40] ---
    The "dragon rising to heaven"
    is a fountain!
[01:44] ---
    That fountain was a sign that
    the volcano was going to erupt.
[01:49] ---
    People in the past knew.
[01:52] ---
    That's why they left it behind
    as a legend!
[01:56] ---
    Though, its interpretation got warped
    somewhere along the way!
[02:03] ---
    People who are robbed
    of logical thinking due to fear
[02:07] ---
    can believe in and even execute
    human sacrifices.
[02:10] ---
    So we don't repeat such sins,
    I take the time and tell visitors of this tale.
[02:16] ---
    Ya wanna fight?
[02:18] ---
    I'll hold you responsible for this!
[02:20] ---
    You will be our human sacrifice!
[02:22] ---
    Oh hell no! I'm not taking responsibility
    for anything!
[02:26] ---
    Human sacrifices...
[02:29] ---
    can suck it!
[02:40] ---
    You bitch! How dare you do that
    to the corpse of the Great Serpent Lord!
[02:45] ---
    Wait, damn you!
[02:47] ---
    Get back here!
[02:52] ---
    Outta my way!
[02:53] ---
    Don't you dare try to run!
[02:56] ---
    You little turd!
[03:11] ---
    I won't let anyone insult
    the Great Serpent Lord any longer!
[03:26] ---
    And, there!
[03:33] ---
    Water main, check!
[03:38] ---
    There she is! Over there! Get her!
[03:46] ---
    If that magma swallows up this village,
[03:50] ---
    the Great Serpent legend
    will become reality!
[03:53] ---
    I won't let such
    a crappy legend become true!
[04:13] ---
    An earthworm is one big tube
    from mouth to butt!
[04:18] ---
    All right, let's do this!
[04:22] ---
    Start the water spray!
[06:14] ---
    Here it comes!
[06:16] ---
    Hell yeah!
[06:28] ---
    All right!
[06:31] ---
    That earthworm's slime
    is working great!
[06:37] ---
    But the affected area is too huge!
[06:40] ---
    Wouldn't the wildfire be more dangerous
    than the magma?
[06:53] ---
    Damn you!
[06:55] ---
    That was close!
[06:56] ---
    Don't you dare insult
    the Great Serpent Lord any longer!
[07:00] ---
    I'm trying to stop the lava.
    Don't get in my way!
[07:03] ---
    We're the ones who've been
    protecting this land!
[07:06] ---
    Outsiders should stay out of it!
[07:09] ---
    I'll make you a human sacrifice
    and quell the Lord Volcano's wrath!
[07:16] ---
    Wait, you changed your god?
[07:18] ---
    You don't care about the Great
    Serpent Lord anymore?
[07:20] ---
    Shut up, moron!
[07:35] ---
    Oh my, I didn't think
    you were Master's grandchild.
[07:39] ---
    I am terribly sorry.
[07:42] ---
    The priest who wants
    to become a BooTuber!
[07:45] ---
    Hey there.
[07:47] ---
    Actually, one week ago, Master...
[07:50] ---
    Three young'uns are headed your way,
    so watch over them, will ya?
[07:54] ---
    Huh? Who—
[07:57] ---
    That's what she told me.
[08:00] ---
    Master? Wait a sec...
[08:02] ---
    Man, I wanna be a BooTuber.
[08:06] ---
    In the past week, the only person
    who visited our shrine
[08:09] ---
    was a girl who liked Tsuchinokos.
[08:12] ---
    So I thought she was just a tourist.
[08:15] ---
    Please notice.
[08:17] ---
    Bastard priest!
[08:19] ---
    I knew I didn't like you.
[08:21] ---
    But I didn't know you
    were in cahoots with that bitch!
[08:24] ---
    Leave this place to me,
    and focus on putting out the fire!
[08:30] ---
    Got it! Thanks!
[08:34] ---
    Come on!
[08:38] ---
    Crap! It feels heavier than earlier!
[08:47] ---
    I don't know when I'll run outta gas.
[08:50] ---
    I can't suddenly collapse like I did before!
[08:57] ---
    No way! What is it this time?
[09:14] ---
    Jiji!
[09:25] ---
    Jiji! Don't!
[09:45] ---
    Are you okay?
[09:49] ---
    Damn you, scurrying about
    and getting in the way.
[09:53] ---
    Maybe I'll kill you off first.
[09:57] ---
    If you keep going, you'll die!
[09:59] ---
    I don't want to make Jiji a murderer!
[10:03] ---
    Wait, where's Okarun?
[10:06] ---
    What did you do with him?
[10:07] ---
    I will only talk about what I want to.
[10:12] ---
    I am hungry.
[10:17] ---
    I didn't think this is how
    things would turn out.
[10:19] ---
    That guy is bad news!
[10:21] ---
    He's too much for me to handle.
[10:23] ---
    It's all your fault, you hear?
[10:26] ---
    You brought in all this trouble!
[10:29] ---
    Shut up!
[10:30] ---
    This ain't the time
    to whine about this and that!
[10:34] ---
    We gotta do this!
[10:43] ---
    Get down!
[10:56] ---
    Jennifer Lopez Anaconda!
[11:08] ---
    Priest!
[11:11] ---
    Daisetsuzan Drop!
[11:22] ---
    Got him!
[11:28] ---
    Ouch!
[11:46] ---
    It's not coming out!
[12:12] ---
    Are you all right, Miss Momo Ayase?
[12:19] ---
    Mantisian?
[12:21] ---
    I came here to help!
[12:23] ---
    Why are you here? What about your son?
[12:25] ---
    Can I tell you later?
[12:34] ---
    Damn, this thing's slow!
SIGN    Descending from the heavens,
    we are children of the stars
[12:41] ---
    Wha...
SIGN    Embracing all,
    let us go to the end of the universe
[12:44] ---
    Install an elevator next time!
SIGN    Let's go, let's go, Seiko!
    Let's go, let's go, Taro!
[12:48] ---
    I'm floating! So scary!
[12:51] ---
    You're a man! Quit your whining!
SIGN    Descending from the heavens,
    we are children of the stars
[12:57] ---
    Hurry and get me down!
[12:59] ---
    Grandma?
SIGN    Embracing all,
    let us go to the end of the universe
[13:05] ---
    This is a pain in the ass.
SIGN    Let's go, let's go, Seiko!
    Let's go, let's go, Taro!
[13:08] ---
    Damn it.
SIGN    Let's all look up at the stars
SIGN    See? Now we've all become friends
SIGN    Fly away, fly away,
    all the way beyond the sky
SIGN    Our shooting star carrying all our wishes
SIGN    Fly away, fly away,
    to the end of the universe
SIGN    Our shooting star carrying all our wishes
[13:40] ---
    Master!
[13:41] ---
    Manjiro!
[13:43] ---
    The Tokami Emitame!
SIGN    Seiko, Seiko, Seiko!
    Let's go, let's go, Seiko!
[13:45] ---
    Yes'm!
[13:47] ---
    Taro, charge on my command!
[13:49] ---
    Okay!
SIGN    You can do it, Seiko!
[13:51] ---
    Let's go, Kappa!
[14:36] ---
    Taro!
[14:43] ---
    All right!
[16:00] ---
    Captured it.
[16:04] ---
    Let's go home.
SIGN    Fly away, fly away,
    cold, hot springs furikake
SIGN    Crash land on our home planet
SIGN    Keep going, keep on going,
    as far as you can go
SIGN    A flying star carrying a big corpse
[16:33] ---
    Daddy, is this okay?
[16:36] ---
    Well done, Chiquitita!
    Keep going and put out the fires!
[16:47] ---
    I told you beforehand.
[16:49] ---
    And you left it alone
    until it got this bad, damn it!
[16:53] ---
    My apologies!
[16:54] ---
    Your communication was sloppy
    to begin with, Master!
[16:57] ---
    I'd like you to praise me for helping
    with only that much to go on!
[17:01] ---
    You're not half bad.
[17:04] ---
    Thanks!
[17:05] ---
    And you need to be kind
    to the stray model, too.
[17:08] ---
    We were able to seal it away
    thanks to Taro.
[17:11] ---
    I didn't hear anything about this!
[17:13] ---
    What are you gonna do
    about my internal organs?
[17:15] ---
    You can just toss that
    into a grocery store bag or something.
[17:18] ---
    Hey, Momo. What happened
    to four-eyes and the cat?
[17:21] ---
    Huh?
[17:23] ---
    Looks like Miss Momo isn't around.
[17:34] ---
    You need to escape first
    so you can save us!
[17:46] ---
    There it is!
[17:48] ---
    Crap, I can't draw out my psychic powers!
[17:50] ---
    Miss Ayase, stand back!
[18:02] ---
    Okarun!
[18:25] ---
    Miss Ayase, this might...
[18:32] ---
    No way.
[18:40] ---
    No...
[18:42] ---
    This can't be...
[18:52] ---
    Chiquitita!
    Put that slime into the magma!
[18:55] ---
    Miss Ayase, what do you intend to do?
[18:58] ---
    I'm going in!
[19:00] ---
    You can't! It's dangerous!
[19:02] ---
    If you did that, you would also...
[19:05] ---
    I would also what?
[19:07] ---
    I promised to save him!
[19:09] ---
    Okarun is waiting for me!
[19:11] ---
    Please wait!
[19:13] ---
    I won't put this slime in the magma.
[19:17] ---
    There's no need for you
    to enter the magma.
[19:21] ---
    You don't have to die in vain.
[19:26] ---
    Why would you say something like that?
[19:29] ---
    Hurry up and do it!
[19:31] ---
    - Miss Ayase, it's dangerous!
    - You tell him too, Mantisian!
[19:33] ---
    Hurry! Please! I'm begging you!
[19:37] ---
    Save Okarun!
[20:13] ---
    Not hot!
[20:15] ---
    At all!
[20:32] ---
    Miss Ayase.
[20:35] ---
    I believed in you...
[20:38] ---
    That you'd save me.
[20:44] ---
    Hot!
[20:46] ---
    Turd nuggets!
[20:49] ---
    You took your sweet little time
    with the rescue, moron!
[20:51] ---
    - You're a useless moron!
    - Turbo Granny! I forgot about you!
[20:54] ---
    If I hadn't tried to save Turbo Granny,
    I might've been dead by now.
[21:03] ---
    The area around the room...
[21:05] ---
    was protected by
    the Mongolian Death Worm's mucus.
[21:08] ---
    It held back the magma from entering.
[21:13] ---
    That's right! Where's Mr. Jiji?
[21:15] ---
    He's not in the magma, right?
[21:17] ---
    It's fine.
[21:19] ---
    I don't know how,
    but he got outside on his own.
[21:24] ---
    I-Is that so?
[21:28] ---
    I'm sorry. I said that
    I would handle Mr. Jiji,
[21:33] ---
    but I couldn't do anything after all.
[21:46] ---
    I'm sorry! That wasn't on purpose!
[21:49] ---
    I'll back away immediately...
[21:58] ---
    I'm the one who should be sorry.
[22:02] ---
    I told you that I'd save you.
[22:07] ---
    But I couldn't do anything.
[22:12] ---
    Thank goodness...
[22:15] ---
    you're alive.
[23:52] ---
    Chi-Chiquitita, Chi-Chiquitita, Chi-Chiquitita,
    Chiquitita, do you have a dream?
[23:58] ---
    Chi-Chiquitita, Chi-Chi-Chiquitita,
    Chi-Chi-Chiquitita,
[24:03] ---
    - There's another episode, deez!
    - Sh-Shy my chotchiki for you, Chiquitita!
SIGN    EPISODE 17 WE CAN ALL STAY THERE TOGETHER!

Season 2

17 - We Can All Stay There Together!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:10] ---
    Though wise, working under us in battle,
    oh no, as tragedy is written,
[00:17] ---
    the loving son never falters, and sees
    only passion of the soul as precious.
[00:25] ---
    Farewell friend and loved one,
[00:27] ---
    may you not rest in peace but
    instead as the candle in the wind,
[00:33] ---
    taking hold of the strained dark soils
    to unleash as a rainbow.
[00:44] ---
    A waste of time.
[00:49] ---
    Though wise, working under us in battle,
    oh no, as tragedy is written,
[00:55] ---
    the loving son never falters, and sees
    only passion of the soul as precious.
[01:02] ---
    Farewell friend and loved one,
[01:04] ---
    may you not rest in peace but
    instead as the candle in the wind,
[01:09] ---
    taking hold of the strained dark soils
    to unleash as a rainbow.
[01:20] ---
    A waste of time!
[02:52] ---
    Time to eat!
SIGN    EPISODE 17
    WE CAN ALL STAY THERE TOGETHER!
[03:03] ---
    Delish!
[03:05] ---
    So, why didn't you call me for this one?
[03:07] ---
    I'm the leader, you know!
[03:09] ---
    Why the hell are you here?
    You didn't work, so you can't eat!
[03:13] ---
    What happened to the Rokken Sect?
[03:13] ---
    Don't you know?
    One who doth not work doth not eat!
[03:15] ---
    I haven't contacted them
    at all recently, so I don't know.
[03:16] ---
    What was that?
[03:23] ---
    Milk is tasty, deez.
[03:24] ---
    I'm glad, deez.
[03:26] ---
    Am I allowed to eat, too?
[03:28] ---
    More like, why are you back?
[03:30] ---
    I told you to never come back
    to Earth again!
[03:35] ---
    I was grateful when I was given a cow, deez.
[03:39] ---
    but it didn't produce any milk,
    so I didn't have a choice but to return.
[03:45] ---
    Besides, our [@@@@] is filled
[03:48] ---
    with a watery substance called
    [L@@] that sends oxygen directly to our lungs.
[03:53] ---
    What?
[03:54] ---
    So it's difficult to milk the cow, deez.
[03:55] ---
    Huh? What? You breathe with your lungs,
    but you live underwater?
[03:58] ---
    But Chiquitita can't survive unless
    he constantly drinks milk, deez.
[04:04] ---
    And so we decided to live on Earth, deez.
[04:07] ---
    Um! Directly sending oxygen
    to the lungs?
[04:09] ---
    Are you saying you live
    on a perfluorocarbon-based planet?
[04:12] ---
    We can't stay here, deez?
[04:12] ---
    Can you please tell me the details,
    Mr. Mantisian? Please!
[04:14] ---
    That's not true. You can stay here
    as long as you want.
[04:18] ---
    They're no good.
[04:21] ---
    They've gotten too old.
[04:22] ---
    If so, I can't arrange
    for a hayashi performance right now.
[04:26] ---
    We have no choice.
[04:28] ---
    I feel sorry for Jiji, but I guess
    he'll stay like that for a while.
[04:31] ---
    Even if we had a hayashi performance,
[04:33] ---
    could we fully exorcise it?
[04:35] ---
    It's one thing if it's only Evil Eye.
[04:37] ---
    But Mr. Jiji's spiritual power is too strong,
    so I don't know if we can separate them.
[04:41] ---
    Even if we could, Mr. Jiji might be left
    with some lasting effects.
[04:50] ---
    Hot!
[04:51] ---
    What the hell are you doing?
[04:53] ---
    - Don't waste food!
    - Come on, Taro.
[04:55] ---
    Hot, hot!
[04:56] ---
    Wait, hold up! It's pitch black!
[04:58] ---
    Where is everyone? Where is this place?
[05:01] ---
    Come on, Taro.
    Are you messing around?
[05:04] ---
    It's not me!
[05:05] ---
    Momo? Are you there?
[05:07] ---
    Jiji?
[05:08] ---
    Jiji, are you back?
[05:09] ---
    Momo?
[05:10] ---
    Wait!
[05:11] ---
    Evil spirits use people's voices to trick you.
[05:14] ---
    Don't release the seal yet.
[05:18] ---
    Taro, open up your face.
[05:20] ---
    Slowly.
[05:27] ---
    No, which is it?
[05:28] ---
    I can't tell because
    he's making a weird face.
[05:30] ---
    Mr. Jiji?
[05:31] ---
    Momo! Okarun! You're okay?
[05:34] ---
    I'm so glad!
    I was super worried about you!
[05:37] ---
    Auntie is here, too. I'm so glad!
    You're as beautiful as ever!
[05:41] ---
    Looks like he's the real deal.
[05:43] ---
    Grandma, what does this all mean?
[05:45] ---
    Momo, fetch me some cold water.
[05:52] ---
    Bastards. I'll kill you all!
[06:02] ---
    Oww! Hot!
    Hold on, what? The heck?
[06:05] ---
    I see.
[06:07] ---
    This is pretty troublesome.
[06:16] ---
    In other words... What?
[06:21] ---
    Yappa paa, yappa paa,
    two away from the goal.
[06:25] ---
    The frolicking love is a carp in a pond.
[06:28] ---
    Yappa paa, yappa paa,
    two away from the goal.
[06:28] ---
    When you splash him with cold water,
    he's Evil Eye.
[06:31] ---
    The bream in your heart
    wants to be embraced.
[06:31] ---
    And when it's hot water,
    he goes back to Jiji?
[06:34] ---
    Yappa paa, yappa paa,
    two away from the goal.
[06:39] ---
    Oww!
[06:41] ---
    Hold on a sec!
    I'm the one who's feeling the pain!
[06:44] ---
    More like, how long
    do I have to lend my body?
[06:44] ---
    Stop fooling around!
[06:47] ---
    I can't be lovey-dovey with Hana like this!
[06:50] ---
    Sorry!
[06:51] ---
    I'm not letting you see Hana for a while.
[06:53] ---
    What?! Ms. Seiko! Why is that?
[06:56] ---
    To begin with, our curfew is 10 o'clock.
[06:59] ---
    I don't wanna let Hana
    see some weird guy late at night.
[07:02] ---
    Ten o'clock is way too early!
[07:04] ---
    More importantly, Jiji, I'm sorry.
[07:08] ---
    You too, Momo and Four-Eyes.
[07:10] ---
    If I knew Evil Eye was there,
    I wouldn't have let you go by yourselves.
[07:14] ---
    This is my responsibility.
[07:17] ---
    I'm sorry.
[07:18] ---
    Hey, quit it. It's not like you.
[07:20] ---
    I asked you for help,
    so please don't apologize.
[07:24] ---
    Sheesh, you guys are all softies.
[07:26] ---
    You really think you can keep Evil Eye in check?
[07:29] ---
    Evil Eye was originally a mountain spirit.
[07:32] ---
    Mountain spirits are at the level
    of being revered as gods.
[07:38] ---
    If an ordinary human
    were to get possessed,
[07:40] ---
    they'd go insane. Their cells
    would break down, and they'd die.
[07:44] ---
    That's why they only go after humans
    with high spiritual power.
[07:58] ---
    In that respect, he's the ultimate vessel.
[08:02] ---
    Evil Eye is like a newborn baby right now.
[08:06] ---
    We happened to escape from danger
    this time,
[08:09] ---
    but he's only going to get stronger.
[08:11] ---
    Eventually, you won't be able to hold him back.
[08:14] ---
    For now, Jiji, make sure to stay
    within sight of someone at all times.
[08:18] ---
    I'll have Manjiro watch over you, too.
SIGN    KAMIGOE CITY
[08:22] ---
    Don't leave Kamigoe City
    until we perform the exorcism.
[08:26] ---
    We won't be able to utilize
    the barrier's power if you do.
[08:29] ---
    That, and Taro's barrier won't last long.
[08:33] ---
    An evil spirit at Evil Eye's level
    can form resistance to barriers.
[08:37] ---
    Also, we'll have to use these.
[08:40] ---
    Everyone, make sure to keep
    a hot water thermos on you.
[08:44] ---
    So you can splash him at any time.
[08:50] ---
    Jiji, I want you to be extra careful, too.
[08:53] ---
    When you wash hands, when you
    drink water, and on rainy days.
[08:56] ---
    Just a tiny bit of cold water
    and you'll transform.
[09:03] ---
    It's time to murder all the humans.
[09:09] ---
    I never want to go through that again.
[09:11] ---
    Right.
[09:15] ---
    We have to do our best
    until the exorcism is complete.
[09:19] ---
    Where're you gonna live, Mantisian?
[09:21] ---
    I decided to be a live-in worker
    at a dairy farm nearby, deez.
[09:26] ---
    It's all thanks to Ms. Seiko, deez.
[09:28] ---
    Thanks for coming to help us out.
[09:30] ---
    If something happens,
    please call for me again, deez.
[09:34] ---
    Um, Mr. Mantisian?
[09:35] ---
    How does that UFO fly?
[09:37] ---
    Is it like an anti-gravity
    propulsion machine?
[09:38] ---
    So cute!
[09:40] ---
    It's [@@K], deez.
[09:44] ---
    By the way, Mantisian,
    what's your name?
[09:47] ---
    Let's see, by terran pronunciation...
[09:51] ---
    It's Peeny Weeny, deez.
[10:02] ---
    Bye-bye, deez!
[10:05] ---
    See ya, Mantisian!
[10:06] ---
    Mr. Mantisian,
    please let me ride it next time!
[10:09] ---
    Chiqui-chan, I'll see you again!
    Shrimp can go home, though!
[10:32] ---
    More like, they're going home on the UFO?
[10:34] ---
    They're really close by, too.
[10:38] ---
    How long until we get to the hospital
    that Jiji's parents are in?
[10:41] ---
    I had them transferred over here,
    so about ten minutes.
[10:45] ---
    Taro, you're wearing your clothes inside out.
[10:47] ---
    Shut up! Normally I prefer to be buck naked.
[10:50] ---
    Got your thermoses?
[10:52] ---
    Got it!
[10:53] ---
    Hot water?
[10:54] ---
    In there!
[10:55] ---
    Okarun.
[10:56] ---
    Ready to go!
[10:56] ---
    Okay!
[11:03] ---
    I'm sorry.
[11:05] ---
    It's fine. You're worrying too much.
[11:07] ---
    Oh, okay.
[11:10] ---
    C'mon. Put your hand here.
[11:13] ---
    Okay.
[11:52] ---
    Um, Miss Ayase, what are you doing?
[11:58] ---
    What? I haven't been doing anything.
[12:01] ---
    Well, I mean your hand is...
    I don't know the game or its rules, so...
[12:06] ---
    I don't know what you're talking about.
[12:10] ---
    Hey, Momo!
[12:12] ---
    Taro won't listen to me at all!
    Please, talk to him!
[12:16] ---
    Shut up!
[12:17] ---
    I can't move my body,
    so Taro needs to move like I do!
[12:21] ---
    What a pain in the ass.
[12:23] ---
    Now, let's go! Ready...
[12:26] ---
    That's completely wrong!
[12:28] ---
    Like I'd know, moron! This is my body,
    so I'll move however I want!
[12:31] ---
    More like was it okay not getting a gift
    for Jiji's parents?
[12:37] ---
    Crap! Is there a supermarket nearby?
SIGN    PRODUCE
SIGN    WE HAVE EVERYTHING SUPERMARKET
[12:41] ---
    There's one near the hospital.
[12:44] ---
    A lifesaver!
[12:45] ---
    I hope they're getting better.
[12:47] ---
    They're always hyper and too rowdy,
    so them being sick is just right.
[12:52] ---
    Isn't that a bit cold?
    Are you trying to act tough?
[12:55] ---
    Of course not. Why would I?
    I'm not that worried to begin with!
[13:12] ---
    I'm glad they look well.
[13:15] ---
    Yup!
[13:16] ---
    More like, why're you standing so still?
[13:18] ---
    Taro, make sure to react accordingly!
[13:21] ---
    You say that, but it's hard
    to move just your body!
[13:24] ---
    Don't look away!
[13:26] ---
    Oh, now you did it!
[13:28] ---
    That's cringy.
[13:29] ---
    Give me my body back.
[13:31] ---
    ...there are no casualties
    as a result of this eruption.
[13:35] ---
    And according to the weather bureau,
SIGN    DEATHS: 0 INJURED: 0
    MAINTAINING ALERT LEVEL FOUR
[13:37] ---
    the wildfires have been contained,
    but they will stay at alert level four.
[13:44] ---
    And the next news...
SIGN    HEINOUS! SUSPICION OF CONFINEMENT AND MURDER
    NINE ARRESTED
[13:45] ---
    Juichi Kito and nine others
    living in Daija Town
[13:48] ---
    have been arrested with charges of murder
    and illegal confinement.
SIGN    NAKI KITO (AGE UNKNOWN)
    WANTED FOR SUSPICION OF THEFT, ARSON,
    ATTEMPTED MURDER, AND VARIOUS OTHER CRIMES.
[13:51] ---
    The suspected ringleader
    Naki Kito, age unknown,
[13:55] ---
    is still on the run, and police
    are seeking her whereabouts.
[14:03] ---
    Damn it.
[14:11] ---
    God damn it!
[14:15] ---
    I spent 200 years growing it that big!
[14:39] ---
    Damn it!
[14:41] ---
    Damn it!
[14:44] ---
    God damn it!
[15:06] ---
    You're not getting away with this,
    Momo Ayase!
[15:22] ---
    You've turned all of us subterraneans
    into your enemy!
[15:33] ---
    Okarun!
[15:39] ---
    Let's go together!
[15:42] ---
    Miss Ayase.
[15:43] ---
    Good morning.
[15:45] ---
    How is Mr. Jiji doing?
[15:47] ---
    Oh, not good.
[15:50] ---
    It looks like Evil Eye
    is getting used to the barrier.
[15:53] ---
    When will you be able to go through
    with the exorcism thing?
[15:55] ---
    I don't know.
    It doesn't seem like an ordinary exorcism.
[15:59] ---
    You know those hayashi performances
    at festivals, right?
[16:18] ---
    They wanna do that to entertain Evil Eye
    so it'll be easier to pull him out.
[16:22] ---
    I see.
[16:24] ---
    But apparently, nobody is willing
    to actually perform the hayashi.
[16:29] ---
    Then, when Taro's barrier no longer works,
    we have to go against Evil Eye again?
[16:34] ---
    We'll have to hold him down.
[16:37] ---
    And so, there's something
    I want to ask you, Okarun.
[16:41] ---
    What is it?
[16:43] ---
    Hey.
[16:46] ---
    Where's Jiji?
    He's not with you?
[16:46] ---
    - Wait! What's with all this?
    - Give Momo back to us.
[16:47] ---
    Miko! Seeing your face calms me down.
[16:51] ---
    What's with you?
[16:52] ---
    I've returned to reality!
[16:55] ---
    More like, wasn't that volcano wicked?
[16:58] ---
    Did you see that eruption?
[17:00] ---
    Sorry, I don't
    wanna talk about that right now.
[17:03] ---
    Huh? Why?
    I thought you'd like stuff like that.
[17:06] ---
    I mean, look at this!
[17:07] ---
    There was a UFO sighting near the volcano!
[17:10] ---
    Huh? What about the giant earthworm?
[17:12] ---
    What's that? An alien?
[17:15] ---
    Like, why don't you buy a smartphone already?
    I can't contact you at all!
[17:19] ---
    Don't got any dough.
[17:21] ---
    Grandma buys me uniforms and stuff,
    but she won't shell out for a smartphone.
[17:34] ---
    I'm the one who spread that fake rumor.
[17:36] ---
    So please don't speak badly
    of Momo Ayase.
[17:45] ---
    Hey, Aira.
[17:47] ---
    Come hang out with me for a bit.
[17:49] ---
    What is it, Miss Ayase?
[17:51] ---
    Come on now, quit the terrible acting.
    Just come on over here.
[17:54] ---
    Hold on, let me go!
    What are you going to do?
[17:57] ---
    Shut up! Quit yer whining and come here!
    This way, come on!
[18:00] ---
    No!
[18:01] ---
    Do you want to die?
[18:03] ---
    Stop being all chummy with me
    in front of my entire class!
[18:06] ---
    There she is. That's the Aira I know.
[18:10] ---
    Just being friendly with the likes of you
    drops my popularity.
[18:14] ---
    You're different, Takakura.
    I'm glad you spoke to me.
[18:18] ---
    So, what do you want to talk about?
[18:22] ---
    So yeah. Okarun and Aira.
[18:26] ---
    I want both of you
    to sleep over at my place.
[18:30] ---
    I'd feel reassured if you two
    were around if Jiji turns back into Evil Eye.
[18:35] ---
    Of course Grandma is with me, but it's not like
    she can watch over him 24 hours a day.
[18:39] ---
    Right now, while I'm at school,
    Manjiro is helping her take care of Jiji.
[18:44] ---
    So I'd like them to rest
    as much as they can at night.
[18:49] ---
    Well, we really have no choice
    about this. Really, no choice.
[18:53] ---
    This is absolutely the worst.
    I mean, gosh. It makes me sick!
[18:58] ---
    We really can't do anything about it.
    I guess I'll have to go.
[19:02] ---
    Why did it end up this way?
    This is really the pits! Man, I hate it!
[19:07] ---
    If you can't, you don't have to—
[19:09] ---
    We'll sleep over!
[19:10] ---
    All right! How about starting tonight?
[19:13] ---
    Tonight? Geez, what should I do?
[19:16] ---
    If you have plans with your friends,
    you can come over anytime after.
[19:20] ---
    I don't have plans like that.
[19:24] ---
    If you got beef with your friends because of me,
    you don't have to force yourself to hang with us.
[19:31] ---
    Why're you telling me things like that?
[19:35] ---
    You don't have anything to do with this,
    and it's all my fault, anyway.
[19:42] ---
    Oh, an arm fell off.
[19:44] ---
    Auntie, what should I do?
    There's smoke coming out, too!
[19:51] ---
    I guess it's finally time.
[19:53] ---
    Taro, you can release yourself now.
    Great job.
[19:59] ---
    Yow.
[20:01] ---
    Man, that was rough.
[20:04] ---
    Thank you, Taro. You're a lifesaver!
[20:07] ---
    Jiji, from here, we have no aid.
[20:07] ---
    Okay, stand! This way! Over here!
[20:09] ---
    Towards the voice!
    The voice, not that way! Left! Left!
[20:10] ---
    You need to be careful of water
    more than ever before.
[20:12] ---
    Make sure to wash your hands
    with hot water.
[20:14] ---
    Yes'm!
[20:14] ---
    No, wrong way!
[20:16] ---
    Stop! Stop! Ouch!
[20:18] ---
    I'm home!
[20:18] ---
    That's a pillar!
[20:19] ---
    Oh, perfect timing for her return.
[20:21] ---
    I brought everyone over.
[20:22] ---
    Pardon me.
[20:24] ---
    Okarun! I missed you!
[20:27] ---
    Looks like you're doing well.
[20:28] ---
    - This way, over here! This way!
    - Huh? Taro's not on you.
[20:34] ---
    Oh, this is the pits. I'm really sick of it.
[20:38] ---
    Aira-chan! You're such a cutie as always!
[20:42] ---
    Thanks. Can you carry my stuff?
[20:44] ---
    Cutie, cutie, you're such a cutie!
    Cutie, cutie, cutie, whoo!
[20:46] ---
    Taro, are you all right?
[20:47] ---
    Hey, Momo.
[20:49] ---
    Hey, where do I hang my coat?
[20:51] ---
    Every last one of you, carry a thermos.
[20:54] ---
    When Jiji transforms,
    splash hot water right away.
[20:57] ---
    I'll take the red one.
[20:58] ---
    Momo!
[20:59] ---
    And we're gonna eat now,
    so get the table out.
[21:03] ---
    Taro, are you okay?
[21:05] ---
    I'm going to rest for a little bit.
[21:07] ---
    Hey, Momo, where did you put
    my fluffy cushion?
[21:11] ---
    Hell if I know.
[21:13] ---
    Mr. Jiji, how are you faring physically?
[21:15] ---
    I should be able to fly the skies, too.
[21:23] ---
    Time to eat!
[21:26] ---
    What toner do you usually use?
[21:28] ---
    SKK Gold Experience.
[21:29] ---
    Looks tasty! Hot!
[21:31] ---
    Pricey! Can I try some later?
[21:34] ---
    Okarun, let's play Smash Bruh later.
[21:34] ---
    What about your moisturizing milk?
[21:35] ---
    - Same brand.
    - Expensive!
[21:36] ---
    I'm really good at it.
[21:38] ---
    All right.
    Why don't we all play it together, then?
[21:41] ---
    Momo, my fluffy cushion...
[21:44] ---
    I said, hell if I know.
[21:46] ---
    Hey, Four-Eyes. Pass the soy sauce.
SIGN    SAUCE
SIGN    SOY SAUCE
[21:48] ---
    Oh, sure.
SIGN    SAUCE
[21:57] ---
    Not that one.
SIGN    SOY SAUCE
[21:59] ---
    Oh, right.
SIGN    SAUCE
SIGN    SOY SAUCE
[23:52] ---
    - Sleepovers equals love stories, right?
    - You mean ghost stories.
[23:54] ---
    - I'll go first.
    - Listen to me.
[23:56] ---
    If we're talking love,
    then it's Takakura, and then...
[23:58] ---
    You wanna hear a ghost story?
[23:59] ---
    You've heard that ghosts
[24:01] ---
    tend to gather by the waterside,
    and impure ghosts yearn for dryness.
[24:03] ---
    Wow, you're so smart!
SIGN    EPISODE 18 WE BECAME A FAMILY
[24:05] ---
    So annoying.

Season 2

18 - We Became a Family

Season 2

19 - Feeling Kinda Gloomy

Season 2

20 - You Can Do It, Okarun!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:15] ---
    Incompetence!
[00:18] ---
    Who the hell is creating such
    filthy sounds with my orchestra?
[00:25] ---
    It's not us, so let's go home.
[00:28] ---
    Right.
[00:30] ---
    It's these guys!
[00:35] ---
    It's these guys!
[00:37] ---
    So it's you!
[00:42] ---
    What was that attack just now?
[00:44] ---
    What a bummer...
[01:13] ---
    Takakura-sama?
[01:17] ---
    You dumbass!
[01:18] ---
    Gotta dodge 'em properly!
[01:20] ---
    Those music notes are bombs!
[01:23] ---
    Especially the rest symbols.
    Don't get caught by them.
[01:25] ---
    They'll literally make you rest in place.
[01:28] ---
    You say dodge them...
[01:31] ---
    But how do we actually
    dodge this bullet hell?
[03:07] ---
    Symphony No. 6. Pastoral, damn it!
[03:16] ---
    It's a rice paddy!
SIGN    EPISODE 20 YOU CAN DO IT, OKARUN!
[03:17] ---
    I wanna go home...
[03:19] ---
    Focus! The notes
    are gonna come flying at us!
[03:22] ---
    It's not a rice paddy!
[03:24] ---
    Die, you damn pigs!
[03:27] ---
    Bullet hell incoming!
[03:33] ---
    Hold on. My feet are getting stuck
    so I can't run well!
[03:37] ---
    What a bummer.
[03:39] ---
    Incompetence!
[03:41] ---
    Now die, damn it!
[03:44] ---
    Choo, choo.
    Train entering platform six.
[03:48] ---
    Poop! Poop!
[03:50] ---
    Father. Father. Father!
[03:54] ---
    Don't just talk about dads!
    I'm amazing, too!
[03:58] ---
    Too slow! Needs a bigger whoosh!
    Increase the tempo!
[04:13] ---
    Die!
[04:15] ---
    Die, die, die!
[04:18] ---
    Aira-chan is awesome!
    She's dodging all of them!
[04:20] ---
    No time to admire!
    You need to dodge like that, too!
[04:26] ---
    Yow.
[04:27] ---
    My voice is weird!
[04:29] ---
    Such a nuisance!
[04:34] ---
    There's no opening!
[04:40] ---
    Die! Die! Die! Die!
[04:43] ---
    Die, damn it!
[04:49] ---
    I-I can't move.
[04:52] ---
    You turd nugget!
[04:53] ---
    I just told you to watch out for the rests!
[04:59] ---
    And, dead!
[05:01] ---
    Takakura-sama!
[05:10] ---
    Damn it, you cheater!
    Come down here!
[05:20] ---
    - You're just some nobody!
    - Miss Shiratori is incredible.
[05:23] ---
    Die already, damn it!
[05:25] ---
    Just how spineless am I?
[05:28] ---
    I've fought so many powerful opponents,
[05:30] ---
    so I thought I got
    at least a little bit stronger.
[05:33] ---
    But I haven't, at all.
[05:38] ---
    If you got time to whine,
    then move your spine!
[05:41] ---
    A sense of rhythm! Rhythm!
[05:48] ---
    It's gonna go on for a while yet.
[05:50] ---
    And we don't know how long
    that skank can keep dodging.
[05:55] ---
    You don't need to understand
    their performance.
[05:58] ---
    I don't care what it is. Just remember
    any kind of music that you know!
[06:02] ---
    And use that rhythm to move your body!
[06:06] ---
    Easy for you to say.
[06:08] ---
    I don't listen to music at all,
    so I don't know any songs.
[06:18] ---
    There is something.
[06:20] ---
    I listened to music just recently.
[06:23] ---
    I was so touched...
[06:26] ---
    and I got into the rhythm.
[06:31] ---
    Don't you be scurrying around,
    you crappy nobody!
[06:36] ---
    What am I supposed to do?
[06:38] ---
    If I extend my hair, it'll hit
    the notes and won't reach them!
[07:01] ---
    Looks like quite a bit of the field
    has been tilled already.
[07:06] ---
    Thanks to all your running around!
[07:09] ---
    And, dead!
[07:13] ---
    Put some spirit into it, punk!
[07:19] ---
    Takakura-sama?
[07:21] ---
    Damn pipsqueak!
[07:23] ---
    Die, die, die, die!
[07:28] ---
    Die, damn it!
[07:38] ---
    Hunting soul, Insatiate and wild
    Roaming the land for a blood sacrifice
[07:43] ---
    HUNTING SOUL, Night after night
    So go to sleep if you dare
[07:44] ---
    Hell yeah! Good job, turd nugget!
[07:48] ---
    That pipsqueak's rhythm...
    I hate it! Damn little bastard!
[07:49] ---
    Hunting soul, Fire aglow
    Scorching the earth as it crosses the skies
[07:54] ---
    HUNTING SOUL, LOSING CONTROL
    CHASIN' YOU DOWN TO THE END
[08:05] ---
    HUNTING SOUL
[08:08] ---
    Oh, dear.
[08:10] ---
    It's time for the party!
[08:25] ---
    Hey, hurry up and finish 'em off!
[08:27] ---
    Do not give me orders,
    you crap vomit furball!
[08:31] ---
    Damn you!
[08:32] ---
    Don't you dare talk back to me,
    you petty small fry!
[08:35] ---
    What a bummer...
[09:22] ---
    It's useless!
[09:23] ---
    Your sound bullet hell
    won't work anymore!
[09:27] ---
    Incompetence!
[09:32] ---
    You guys have angered me!
[09:37] ---
    I'll make sure to kill you!
[09:40] ---
    Symphony No. 9!
[09:42] ---
    Choir ensemble!
[11:36] ---
    What the hell are they?
[11:37] ---
    They're illusions!
    Don't bother with them!
[11:41] ---
    Slam the musicians!
[11:42] ---
    Yes, but, where are they?
[11:54] ---
    On top of the stage behind that giant!
[11:58] ---
    Hey, get your dirty hands off me!
[12:01] ---
    I can't move around at all.
[12:04] ---
    If you don't hurry up,
    you'll be crushed to death!
[12:07] ---
    Takakura-sama, your hand!
[12:52] ---
    Aira-chan!
[12:53] ---
    Leave these guys to me!
    Get the musicians!
[15:16] ---
    Hurry! Otherwise
    you'll be surrounded again!
[15:19] ---
    I know!
[15:23] ---
    But I can only go full throttle twice.
[15:25] ---
    One blast per person won't cut it!
[15:30] ---
    Five switches per beat.
[15:34] ---
    It'd be a piece of cake for me.
[15:41] ---
    So that's what you mean!
[15:56] ---
    Stop it!
[16:41] ---
    Did we defeat them?
[16:45] ---
    Miss Shiratori.
[16:47] ---
    Are you all right?
[16:49] ---
    Yeah, I'm fine.
[16:53] ---
    I was somehow able to defeat it
    thanks to you.
[16:57] ---
    Thank you so much!
[17:01] ---
    Huh?
[17:03] ---
    That's not the case!
    You were super impressive, too!
[17:09] ---
    My normal self... Come out already...
[17:20] ---
    It was all thanks to my lecture.
    You two should feel appreciative!
[17:26] ---
    Oh, you were around?
    Such a trashy presence.
[17:29] ---
    Head outside! Your "goodbye"
    is already set in stone.
[17:34] ---
    Thanks to Turbo Granny, I think I understand
    what this sense of rhythm is.
[17:39] ---
    Thank you.
[17:40] ---
    Heh, don't get cocky!
[17:42] ---
    What you understand now
    is only worth earwax!
[17:47] ---
    My power is nothing compared to this.
[17:53] ---
    So what were those guys, anyway?
[17:57] ---
    Just some thoughts given form.
[17:59] ---
    The collective fear of the portraits
    in the music room simply took shape.
[18:06] ---
    If you play the piano at 2:00 AM,
    they'll show up again.
[18:10] ---
    If they kill you,
    you'll also die in real life, though.
[18:13] ---
    Never again!
[18:15] ---
    More like, how do you know
    about the apparitions in this school?
[18:18] ---
    You aren't up to something, are you?
[18:21] ---
    I'm always thinking about
    how to kill you...
[18:25] ---
    guys...
[18:28] ---
    off.
[18:36] ---
    Let's call the HAYASii band
    once more!
[18:39] ---
    Evil Eye is definitely
    doing something to counter us.
[18:43] ---
    We can't hold out any longer.
[18:45] ---
    I don't want to think about it...
[18:48] ---
    but someone will die.
[18:54] ---
    Mr. Jiji, you don't want to kill
    Ms. Seiko or Miss Momo, right?
[18:59] ---
    At this rate, you won't be able
    to live with your parents, either.
[19:05] ---
    We will perform the exorcism tomorrow.
[19:10] ---
    I've already asked HAYASii to come back.
[19:14] ---
    Hold on a sec! Don't move things along
    on your own!
[19:17] ---
    I will be giving the ritual prayers.
[19:23] ---
    Grandma, say something!
[19:25] ---
    You said you were gonna
    make him family!
[19:27] ---
    Jiji's been training his spiritual power, too!
[19:30] ---
    Come on, right, Grandma?
[19:35] ---
    Jin Enjoji! Step outside!
[19:39] ---
    Huh? Okarun?
[20:01] ---
    Okarun, what's going on?
[20:03] ---
    More like, where have you two been
    this late at night?
[20:07] ---
    Miss Shiratori, the water, please.
[20:09] ---
    Okay!
[20:11] ---
    Hey, what are you planning to do?
[20:14] ---
    Nobody meddle in this, please!
[20:17] ---
    I will now give Evil Eye
    the beating of his afterlife!
[20:21] ---
    Come on, Okarun, I'm really gonna get mad.
    This isn't a game, okay?
[20:26] ---
    I was pissed when Evil Eye assaulted you.
[20:33] ---
    I was really pissed off!
[20:36] ---
    For a while, I thought
    we'd somehow get through this.
[20:38] ---
    But Evil Eye really is dangerous!
[20:41] ---
    He's savage and cunning
    and not someone we can ignore.
[20:45] ---
    But Miss Ayase, you guys
    are trying to accept Evil Eye.
[20:49] ---
    That's really absurd.
[20:52] ---
    And that's really...
[20:55] ---
    badass!
[20:58] ---
    So I'm pissed off at my own weakness.
[21:03] ---
    Just you wait, Jiji.
    Your will to protect Evil Eye...
[21:08] ---
    I'll make sure to protect it!
[21:12] ---
    Mr. Takakura, please calm down.
[21:14] ---
    We've already decided
    that Mr. Jiji will be exorcised!
[21:18] ---
    There's no need to fight against Evil Eye!
[21:20] ---
    Manjiro!
[21:24] ---
    The guy has fire in his words.
[21:27] ---
    Don't embarrass him.
[21:30] ---
    Takakura!
[21:33] ---
    Here we go!
[21:34] ---
    Momo-chan, stand aside.
[21:43] ---
    Okarun, I'm trusting you with Evil Eye!
[21:46] ---
    Yeah.
[23:37] ---
    Don't underestimate me!
[23:39] ---
    I can kill you guys off at any point in time.
[23:41] ---
    Like, pulverize you
    into smithereens like this house.
[23:43] ---
    Hey, you're hungry, right?
    Eat that until dinner is ready.
[23:47] ---
    Hurray!
SIGN    EPISODE 21 I WANT TO REBUILD THE HOUSE
[23:48] ---
    Next episode, "I Want to Rebuild
    the House." You're gonna help, too.

Season 2

21 - I Want to Rebuild the House

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:49] ---
    Let's go full throttle.
[02:15] ---
    So fun.
[02:17] ---
    You are so fun.
[02:21] ---
    More! Let's do more of this!
[02:25] ---
    I have never had so much fun!
[02:29] ---
    What is that guise of yours?
    Hurry up and transform.
[02:33] ---
    I want to continue this.
[02:35] ---
    Crap!
[02:36] ---
    Takakura already went full throttle once
    so he can't transform anymore!
[02:40] ---
    It's not over yet.
    Nobody intervene, please!
[02:42] ---
    Grandma! We gotta help Okarun, so—
[02:44] ---
    Is that all right? If we intervene, that means
    we're going to exorcise the Evil Eye.
[02:50] ---
    Whatcha gonna do?
    Want Seiko and the others to help out?
[02:57] ---
    Your knees are shaking.
[03:00] ---
    It's all you can do to stay standing.
[03:10] ---
    Hurry up. I hate having to wait!
[03:14] ---
    Hurry up and transform and fight me!
[03:18] ---
    No way. I don't want to bully weaklings.
[03:24] ---
    You can't beat me.
[03:26] ---
    I was convinced from our fight just now.
    So I'm not fighting you anymore.
[03:30] ---
    How dare you!
    Who are you calling weak?
[03:32] ---
    I! Am! Strong!
[03:35] ---
    - Weak.
    - Strong. Strong!
[03:38] ---
    Weak, so weak.
[03:41] ---
    Strong!
[03:43] ---
    I wouldn't mind taking you on
    if you became stronger.
[03:46] ---
    What? I will become even stronger!
[03:49] ---
    But I don't wanna go at it
    against someone who'd fight others.
[03:53] ---
    If you're gonna fight,
    I want you to only fight me.
[03:56] ---
    Yup, yup.
[03:56] ---
    Fine! I will fight only you!
[03:59] ---
    But you said you were going
    to kill all humans, so I can't trust you.
[04:05] ---
    I said, I am only going to fight you!
[04:08] ---
    But I'm busy with school.
    I wouldn't mind fighting every so often.
[04:11] ---
    No way! I want to fight
    every second of every day!
[04:15] ---
    Then, once a week. If you can't accept
    these conditions, I won't do it.
[04:18] ---
    - This is unfair! You are unfair!
    - Master, that's...
[04:22] ---
    This is great.
[04:24] ---
    Sheesh, you turds are a handful.
[04:27] ---
    Turbo Granny, what's going on?
    What were you scheming with Okarun?
[04:32] ---
    He started saying some troublesome crap.
[04:35] ---
    Said he wants to be Evil Eye's playmate.
[04:40] ---
    When I previously fought Evil Eye,
[04:42] ---
    he said he wanted
    to take playing seriously.
[04:45] ---
    I don't know the reason,
[04:46] ---
    but for Evil Eye, murdering
    is the same thing as playing around.
[04:51] ---
    You said so yourself, Turbo Granny,
    that Evil Eye is just like a newborn baby.
[04:56] ---
    If that's true, then he just wants to simply
    have fun playing around.
[04:59] ---
    If I can overwhelm Evil Eye,
    his attention will be concentrated on me.
[05:04] ---
    Then he won't harm Miss Ayase
    and the others anymore.
[05:09] ---
    If I can become stronger, then I might
    be able to become friends with Evil Eye.
[05:18] ---
    Then...
[05:19] ---
    Outside of fighting me,
    you won't kill any people.
[05:21] ---
    We'll have one fight
    every Tuesday after school.
[05:24] ---
    Does this sound good?
[05:25] ---
    Hold on a second!
[05:29] ---
    These guys want to kill off all humans,
[05:32] ---
    so they're saying
    they can't agree to that promise.
[05:35] ---
    Until I butcher you, hold on to this.
[05:39] ---
    All right.
    We'll keep it stored safely.
[05:42] ---
    I want to kill you as soon as I can.
    So fun!
[05:50] ---
    Okarun, I...
[05:53] ---
    You didn't hurt anyone.
[05:55] ---
    From now on,
    nobody will get hurt anymore.
[05:58] ---
    You'll return to a normal life.
[06:01] ---
    Okarun.
[06:02] ---
    Nice weenie!
[06:06] ---
    Why is everyone so put off?
[07:41] ---
    I will take responsibility and store
    this cursed item at my shrine.
SIGN    EPISODE 21
    I WANT TO REBUILD THE HOUSE
[07:46] ---
    Be careful. If anything happens,
    contact me right away.
[07:50] ---
    Understood.
[07:52] ---
    We'll visit again someday.
[07:53] ---
    Next time, make sure
    you have a Tsuchinoko in the shrine.
[07:56] ---
    I can't promise you that, but I'll be
    a sleeping bag BooTuber!
[08:02] ---
    Sounds good.
[08:03] ---
    See you.
[08:08] ---
    See ya, Manjiro!
[08:10] ---
    Don't let the curse cause an accident!
[08:13] ---
    Ms. Ayase!
[08:16] ---
    Thank you for all the trouble
    that you've gone through!
[08:18] ---
    Jiji's mom.
[08:20] ---
    I'm afraid I can't say my care
    was entirely the best. I apologize.
[08:24] ---
    Oh no.
[08:26] ---
    She's being polite!
[08:28] ---
    She's acting properly.
[08:29] ---
    Hey, why're you being so bashful?
[08:32] ---
    Stop that.
[08:35] ---
    Jiji, continue your training to unleash
    your chi. The curse still remains.
[08:40] ---
    If something happens,
    make sure to visit us right away.
[08:44] ---
    Okay!
[08:47] ---
    Everyone, I'm sorry
    to have caused so much trouble!
[08:50] ---
    I will never forget your kindness!
[08:52] ---
    Pay us back.
[08:53] ---
    Don't worry about it. See ya tomorrow.
[08:58] ---
    Thank you so much!
[09:03] ---
    Man, I'm tired. Takakura,
    we should head home, too.
[09:08] ---
    Okarun and Aira,
    thank you to you, too!
[09:12] ---
    No, thank you for housing us for so long.
[09:14] ---
    M-Miss Ayase, I'll see you tomorrow.
[09:18] ---
    Is that all?
[09:19] ---
    Um, was there anything else?
[09:26] ---
    Is that all?
[09:28] ---
    Jab, jab.
[09:36] ---
    What are you doing to Takakura?
[09:38] ---
    Shut up, ugly skank!
    You hurry on home!
[09:40] ---
    What was that? You swine!
[09:42] ---
    Miss Shiratori, let's go home!
[09:45] ---
    Damn you! Never come back here!
[09:47] ---
    As if I would, you swine!
[09:49] ---
    Oh boy. That was so scary,
    wasn't it, Takakura?
[09:51] ---
    Oh man, it's all quiet here now.
[09:59] ---
    So this is what it feels like
    when your mind goes blank.
[10:04] ---
    I guess we'll head to the super bathhouse.
[10:06] ---
    Hurray!
[10:08] ---
    What about me?
[10:09] ---
    We're all going.
[10:11] ---
    Hurray!
SIGN    KAMIGOE STATION
SIGN    NATURAL HOT SPRINGS
SIGN    NATURAL HOT SPRINGS
[10:38] ---
    Thank you very much!
[10:41] ---
    Man, it's cold.
[10:43] ---
    We warmed up only to get cold again.
[10:46] ---
    Wait, what are we gonna do
    about the house?
[10:48] ---
    We gotta rebuild it. No other choice.
[10:49] ---
    We have the money?
[10:51] ---
    Nope. That super bathhouse
    was our last banquet.
[10:55] ---
    You're joking!
[10:56] ---
    We can go to hell now for all I care.
[10:58] ---
    I just started my part-time job,
    so I don't have any money.
[11:01] ---
    Who asked you for money?
    I'm not relying on your part-time wages.
[11:07] ---
    So pompous!
[11:08] ---
    You're always acting tough.
[11:10] ---
    Everyone was sleeping over, so why
    didn't you collect expenses for their stay?
[11:14] ---
    Like I need any of that.
[11:15] ---
    Don't act tough.
[11:19] ---
    Don't overexert yourself, okay?
[11:21] ---
    Don't underestimate your Granny.
[11:23] ---
    But what should I do
    about the Bakatono DVDs?
[11:28] ---
    I lost all of my Ken-san stuff, too!
[11:41] ---
    What the hell are you, punk?
[11:42] ---
    You're on private property!
[11:44] ---
    Where are you from, moron?
[11:49] ---
    Miss Ayase, hold on a second!
[11:52] ---
    Hey! You're all back.
[11:54] ---
    I got worried about your house,
[11:56] ---
    so Miss Shiratori and I
    visited Mr. Mantis on the way home.
[11:59] ---
    We asked him if he could help out
    with rebuilding the house.
[12:03] ---
    And he introduced us
    to his friend Mr. Ludris.
[12:06] ---
    No way! I'm so sorry!
[12:09] ---
    He's saying it was an honor to be kicked
    by a beautiful lady, deez.
[12:14] ---
    No, he's pissed.
[12:15] ---
    He is a construction specialist, deez.
[12:19] ---
    Leave it to him, and the rebuilding
    will be done in a jiffy, deez.
[12:22] ---
    I'm sorry, but he's been looking pissed
    the whole time.
[12:24] ---
    You're usually really busy.
    Go home and play with your kid.
[12:29] ---
    I've always been wanting to repay
    my gratitude to you, Lady Seiko, deez!
[12:34] ---
    I've only been causing trouble myself,
    so I want to do something for you.
[12:38] ---
    You too. You're barely standing up
    so don't wander around so much.
[12:44] ---
    Hurry on back home.
[12:46] ---
    But you're also in a tough spot
    right now, right?
[12:52] ---
    - I'm not.
    - We very much are.
[12:56] ---
    If you insist on helping out,
    then do as you like.
[12:59] ---
    I'm sorry, but can I ask you to?
[13:02] ---
    - Of course, deez!
    - Yes!
[13:05] ---
    He's still pissed?
[13:07] ---
    Ta-la-la, ta-dah!
[13:11] ---
    Here.
[13:13] ---
    We'll use this nanoskin for construction.
[13:16] ---
    It's easy to use.
[13:18] ---
    Place the nanoskin somewhere,
    and shape it like a clay figure.
[13:24] ---
    And you can make anything you like, deez.
[13:32] ---
    You can make anything, deez.
[13:34] ---
    What? Wicked!
    Let me make something, too!
[13:36] ---
    What the hell is this?
[13:38] ---
    The nanoskin is made up of
    ultra-high-density nanomachines, deez.
[13:43] ---
    What is this? It feels crunchy!
[13:45] ---
    By the way, it's a shape-memory alloy.
[13:47] ---
    Even if it breaks, the nanoskin
    will restore itself back to the original form.
[13:53] ---
    Have a solid image in your head
    of what you want to make, deez.
[14:00] ---
    The nanomachine will catch
    the electric signals from your brain,
[14:03] ---
    and form the shape
    exactly like you imagine it.
[14:09] ---
    I see. This is great.
[14:42] ---
    Thanks, Kappa. You saved my ass.
[14:44] ---
    It was nothing, deez.
[14:47] ---
    I'll do anything for Lady Seiko, deez!
[14:59] ---
    Mr. Ludris is also saying it was an honor
    to be able to assist a beauty.
[15:04] ---
    You don't understand
    what he's saying, do you?
[15:06] ---
    Thank you, Okarun. You too, Aira.
[15:10] ---
    Man, I'm sleepy. Let's hurry on home.
[15:12] ---
    I'm glad your home is all fixed up.
[15:15] ---
    It kinda felt like my own home, so
    it made me uneasy when it wasn't all right.
[15:23] ---
    Indeed.
[15:24] ---
    It became a hangout for all sorts
    of people before I knew it.
[15:29] ---
    We gotta protect it.
[15:34] ---
    Come by again anytime!
[15:40] ---
    Okay!
[15:42] ---
    Thanks, everyone! Come by again!
[15:45] ---
    I totally love all you guys!
    You guys are lifesavers!
[15:49] ---
    We gotta pay this favor back.
[15:52] ---
    But for today,
    I won't be able to make lunch.
[15:55] ---
    It's fine. Sleep in.
[16:00] ---
    Jin! You're slow!
    Bang! Bang!
[16:02] ---
    Mom! It's dangerous if you poke
    your head out the window!
[16:06] ---
    More like, let me hop on!
[16:11] ---
    Dear, try to keep it down.
[16:18] ---
    Okay, we're here!
[16:20] ---
    All right, Honey, let's do this!
[16:22] ---
    Dear, please be quiet.
[16:24] ---
    Good morning!
[16:26] ---
    The entire Enjoji household has come
    to rebuild the house!
[16:30] ---
    Dear, please keep it down.
[16:32] ---
    Huh? It's not broken anywhere.
[16:36] ---
    Oh, Momo!
[16:40] ---
    Grandma's asleep.
[16:43] ---
    I'm sorry for all kinds of reasons.
[16:45] ---
    Don't worry about it.
[16:47] ---
    More like, how's Evil Eye doing?
[16:49] ---
    Actually, about that...
[16:51] ---
    I've turned into Evil Eye a few times.
[16:54] ---
    Oh, Evil Eye didn't do anything.
    He's really keeping that promise!
[16:58] ---
    For real?
[16:59] ---
    I don't know if it's because of the training,
    but I feel a connection with Evil Eye lately.
[17:04] ---
    His excited emotions
    get transmitted to me or something.
[17:08] ---
    It's not just hatred. I think he's
    enjoying this a surprising amount.
[17:15] ---
    I see.
[17:16] ---
    Well, if something happens, come visit us.
[17:24] ---
    Hey, Momo.
[17:26] ---
    Are you in love with anyone?
[17:49] ---
    Hold up, you look way too disturbed!
[17:51] ---
    Nuh-uh! Not at all!
    Your words didn't affect me at all!
[17:56] ---
    H-Hold up!
    You're badmouthing me now!
[17:59] ---
    Oh! Enjoji!
[18:01] ---
    It's been a while!
[18:03] ---
    You've been absent from school
    for some time. What happened?
[18:05] ---
    I was staying home with hopes
    of making my cuties all antsy!
[18:09] ---
    What's up with that?
[18:11] ---
    Go get 'em, you flashy guy.
[18:13] ---
    Enjoji, this is the new Pompy flavor!
[18:16] ---
    Wanna try?
[18:17] ---
    Hold on a sec!
[18:19] ---
    You're wearing clothes?
[18:20] ---
    Where is this place?
[18:22] ---
    What'd you think of the taiyaki flavor?
[18:26] ---
    I'll butcher you. This is all too tasty.
[18:33] ---
    Come on, Jiji. That joke
    is totally not popular right now.
[18:36] ---
    Oh, it's you.
    Do you want to be butchered?
[18:39] ---
    I said it's not popular!
[18:41] ---
    Your timing is terrible right now,
    so can you go back to Jiji?
[18:44] ---
    No way. This is incredibly tasty.
[18:46] ---
    What, Momo? You being lovey-dovey
    this early in the morning?
[18:49] ---
    As if!
[18:53] ---
    That's mine!
[18:55] ---
    What is?
[18:59] ---
    Hey, it's Jiji!
[19:00] ---
    You finally decided to join the soccer team?
[19:11] ---
    Amazing!
[19:12] ---
    Get back here!
[19:18] ---
    I told you to stop!
SIGN    WARM SOLD OUT
[19:25] ---
    Damn it, all the hot stuff is sold out.
[19:27] ---
    Hurry up and give me
    that tasty drink from earlier.
[19:30] ---
    I thought I'd let him drink something warm
    and get him back to normal.
[19:39] ---
    I have no choice.
[19:41] ---
    At least, it doesn't seem like
    he'll attack people.
[19:44] ---
    I guess I'll just see how things go.
[20:16] ---
    What are you writing?
[20:19] ---
    All those I want to butcher!
[20:21] ---
    Whoa, whoa, whoa! Quiet!
[20:23] ---
    Hey, Enjoji!
[20:25] ---
    Who do you want to butcher
    in the middle of class?
[20:29] ---
    All humans!
[20:32] ---
    He's kinda hooked on this one joke.
[20:34] ---
    I told you that's not popular, you turd!
SIGN    TANUKI UDON
SIGN    SHOYU RAMEN
SIGN    TEMPURA BOWL
SIGN    CURRY RICE
SIGN    COLD NOODLES IT'S COLD! AVAILABLE
[20:38] ---
    What? You're kidding me!
    The hot food is all sold out?
[20:41] ---
    I'm sorry,
    I'm sold out of most things today.
[20:50] ---
    Wait, wait!
[20:52] ---
    Tasty.
[20:53] ---
    Here, use chopsticks.
[21:17] ---
    Baby steps, I guess.
[21:19] ---
    Hey, did something happen to Jiji?
[21:22] ---
    Like what?
[21:23] ---
    Was he the type to say butcher and stuff?
[21:25] ---
    Maybe he had a change of character.
[21:27] ---
    I know! Maybe the ghost from the housing
    complex is possessing him!
[21:30] ---
    What now?
[21:31] ---
    Maybe he has a golden ball on him!
[21:34] ---
    Wait, what? How do you know
    about the golden ball?
[21:36] ---
    Oh, right. You don't have
    a smartphone right now.
[21:39] ---
    It's a hot topic in the group right now.
[21:42] ---
    The ghost in the housing complex.
[23:25] ---
    I see you. I see you, my enemy.
[23:32] ---
    I'm talking to you.
[23:37] ---
    Momo, is something on your mind?
    Leave it to me!
[23:39] ---
    Next episode, "The Secret Art of Being
    Attractive." C'mon baby! Foo!
SIGN    EPISODE 22 THE SECRET ART OF BEING ATTRACTIVE
[23:42] ---
    Man, my head hurts.
[23:43] ---
    Here's some painkillers!
    It tastes like takoyaki!
[23:45] ---
    I wanna ice this guy's head.
[23:46] ---
    Miss Ayase! Please take these instead!
[23:48] ---
    - Thanks.
    - I made it with nanoskin!
[23:50] ---
    Like I'd want to take anything like that!

Season 2

22 - The Secret Art of Being Attractive

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:43] ---
    Calm down.
[01:44] ---
    A morning hello is no big deal!
[01:47] ---
    Morning! Tee-hee!
    Vamola! Ya doin' well?
[01:47] ---
    I practiced the heck out of it
    last night! I got this!
[01:52] ---
    I can't let her catch on
    that I'm a morning hello amateur!
[02:14] ---
    Hold on.
[02:15] ---
    Even though we became friends,
[02:16] ---
    would she suddenly start waiting for me
    at the school gate?
[02:19] ---
    She must be waiting for someone else!
[02:21] ---
    Morning!
[02:28] ---
    The correct answer is to ignore her.
[02:39] ---
    You're late. Let's go.
[02:56] ---
    That hurt, damn you!
    You're in the way, moron.
[02:59] ---
    Can you hurry up and move?
    You're so annoying!
SIGN    ESS EFF SPECIAL A MYSTERY IN OPTICS
[04:09] ---
    Um, excuse me.
[04:11] ---
    Is Miss Ayase here?
[04:13] ---
    Huh? Who? I can't hear you.
[04:16] ---
    Maybe the cafeteria?
[04:18] ---
    Like he'd go to such a rowdy place!
    He's at the school store. The co-op!
[04:22] ---
    Co-op?
[04:24] ---
    I'll drop by after I check the cafeteria.
[04:41] ---
    She's not here. I should try the co-op.
[04:47] ---
    I guess I'll try the cafeteria.
[04:56] ---
    Nowhere to be found.
[04:57] ---
    Nowhere to be found.
[05:02] ---
    She's avoiding me.
[05:04] ---
    She realized this morning
    how boring I am
[05:07] ---
    and must've thought
    that I'm a pain in the butt.
[05:09] ---
    Sheesh, where are you, Okarun?
[05:12] ---
    Lunch break is gonna be over soon!
[05:15] ---
    This is the worst.
[05:20] ---
    Come to think,
    he was pretty lifeless this morning.
[05:23] ---
    Maybe he doesn't like people
    getting in his face?
[05:27] ---
    Maybe I wasn't earnestly thinking
    about Okarun's feelings.
[05:32] ---
    Miss Ayase has so many friends, so I guess
    I'm just a friend candidate.
[05:43] ---
    Maybe I don't even count as a friend.
[06:08] ---
    I was conceited.
[06:10] ---
    I'm totes feelin' the blues.
[06:12] ---
    Why am I always like this?
[06:15] ---
    Why am I such a wimp?
[06:19] ---
    I'm sorry.
[06:20] ---
    I'm sorry, Okarun.
SIGN    EPISODE 22
    THE SECRET ART
    OF BEING ATTRACTIVE
[09:05] ---
    I must resort to power and cunning.
[09:09] ---
    That way, I will win!
[09:21] ---
    I see you. I see you, my enemy.
[09:27] ---
    I'm talking to you.
[09:28] ---
    Wha!? Wh-What's this about?
    Why are you talking to me?
[09:32] ---
    I'm not interested in guys,
    but I have no choice.
[09:37] ---
    How is it possible...
[09:39] ---
    for you to get along so well
    with Miss Momo Ayase?
[09:43] ---
    It's strange.
[09:45] ---
    You're not particularly handsome.
    You're short and quite dull.
[09:48] ---
    But you're always being chummy
    with Momo Ayase.
[09:52] ---
    And as of late, Miss Shiratori as well.
[09:55] ---
    Tell me how you do it!
[09:57] ---
    How are you popular
    with all the beautiful girls?
[09:59] ---
    No, I'm not popular at all!
[10:01] ---
    Okarun!
[10:02] ---
    Found it, Okarun!
[10:04] ---
    The other family jewel!
[10:06] ---
    What the?
[10:07] ---
    Sorry! Was I interrupting?
[10:10] ---
    Oh no, we weren't talking about much,
    so it's not a nuisance at all.
[10:16] ---
    Okarun, is this your friend?
[10:17] ---
    Oh, well, each person has
    a different definition of friendship,
[10:21] ---
    so if you say we're friends,
    then I suppose we are.
[10:24] ---
    Really? Cool!
    Be good to Okarun, okay?
[10:30] ---
    Anyway, there was a golden ball!
[10:32] ---
    A great adventure?
[10:33] ---
    Miss Ayase, let's talk about that outside.
[10:36] ---
    I got it!
[10:37] ---
    The secret to being popular is spicy talk!
[10:41] ---
    Um, excuse me.
[10:44] ---
    You're in Class B, right?
[10:47] ---
    Can you please stop visiting
    other classes so often?
[10:52] ---
    Some people want to study,
[10:54] ---
    and it's a nuisance
    for you to run around like this.
[10:58] ---
    Oh, sorry. I'll be more careful!
[11:02] ---
    Okay Okarun, let's head outside!
[11:04] ---
    Okay!
[11:05] ---
    Takakura, there's no need
    to go reluctantly!
[11:10] ---
    If you can't tell her, I'll tell her for you!
[11:13] ---
    Huh? Is that true?
[11:15] ---
    No, it's not. What's this about?
[11:19] ---
    Hey, he's saying that's not the case.
[11:21] ---
    If you're right there,
    he'll be too scared to say anything!
[11:24] ---
    Takakura, I'm sorry that
    I didn't notice until now.
[11:27] ---
    I'm the class president,
    so you can tell me anything!
[11:30] ---
    No, um...
[11:32] ---
    Hey, Okarun, can you tell her
    that she's an idiot?
[11:35] ---
    I was just about to say...
[11:37] ---
    Don't intimidate him!
[11:39] ---
    You shut up for a bit!
[11:40] ---
    You shouldn't be shouting so loudly!
[11:43] ---
    Let me talk!
[11:45] ---
    Damn it! He's so popular!
[11:48] ---
    When? What timing
    do I need to cut in to be popular?
[11:51] ---
    Okarun's never said
    anything about this before.
[11:51] ---
    Now? She's cute.
[11:53] ---
    Now? So cute.
[11:54] ---
    Now!
[11:56] ---
    Ten gallon weenie.
[12:01] ---
    Don't give up, Kinta.
[12:08] ---
    Wiener.
[12:10] ---
    Do you wanna die?
[12:21] ---
    What's with that skank?
    She really pisses me off!
[12:24] ---
    What does she even
    know about you, Okarun?
[12:27] ---
    I had so many things coming at me
    all at once and I couldn't react.
[12:33] ---
    But I was happy because people in my class
    never really talked to me until now.
[12:38] ---
    Maybe it's because you're pretty cool lately.
[12:41] ---
    Huh? R-Really?
[12:43] ---
    Yeah.
[12:46] ---
    Hurray.
[12:49] ---
    Are you all right?
[12:51] ---
    What was with that "hurray"?
[12:54] ---
    Cracks me up.
[12:55] ---
    Then what was I supposed to say?
[13:00] ---
    That's fine. It's so like you, Okarun!
[13:06] ---
    Anyway, the family jewels!
[13:07] ---
    You saw Miko's picture, right?
[13:09] ---
    Yes, I saw it!
[13:13] ---
    It looked like the space
    around the golden ball was warped.
[13:16] ---
    It seems like an orb or a fireball.
[13:19] ---
    Maybe a spirit was in the middle
    of transporting the family jewels somewhere.
[13:24] ---
    Turbo Granny did say that
    other spirits would want it, too.
[13:28] ---
    They are definitely
    talking about something spicy.
[13:31] ---
    Why? Why is Takakura's spicy talk okay,
    but mine is worthy of death?
[13:37] ---
    I wanna know!
    I wanna gain that technique!
[13:41] ---
    How can he get away with spicy talk
    so naturally like that?
[13:45] ---
    And I wanna be lovey-dovey with beautiful girls
    like Miss Momo Ayase!
[13:48] ---
    - Wanna try going that way?
    - No, I will!
[13:52] ---
    But still, what are they doing
    in a place like this?
[13:55] ---
    It doesn't seem like
    they live in this housing complex.
[14:02] ---
    Uh, wh-what a coincidence!
[14:05] ---
    We went the same way home from school.
[14:10] ---
    Huh?
[14:15] ---
    At this rate, Miss Ayase's lips
    and mine will touch.
[14:22] ---
    How did things end up this way?
[14:25] ---
    It's that perv from your class, Okarun!
[14:27] ---
    Is he the true form
    of the family jewel spirit?
[14:30] ---
    Momo-chan! Over there!
[14:38] ---
    Family jewels! Gotta catch 'em all!
[14:40] ---
    What a bummer.
[14:44] ---
    So fast!
[14:51] ---
    Okarun!
[14:52] ---
    Momo-chan, this isn't a ghost at all.
[14:55] ---
    It has a physical body.
[14:58] ---
    There's definitely someone there!
[15:06] ---
    Momo-chan, be careful.
[15:08] ---
    I can't see it, but there's something there.
[15:11] ---
    Oh! It ran away!
[15:12] ---
    Momo-chan, hop on!
[15:14] ---
    What's going on with that thing?
[15:16] ---
    It turned left up there!
[15:18] ---
    Oh! He's giving her
    a piggyback ride! I'm jealous!
[15:21] ---
    Hey, Perv! Watch our backpacks!
[15:24] ---
    If you lose them, I'll butcher ya!
[15:25] ---
    Bra-ger that!
[15:26] ---
    Now I'm definitely going to butcher you.
[15:29] ---
    Why is that? What part of my spicy talk
    is unacceptable?
[15:33] ---
    Spicy talk in general is disgusting!
[15:35] ---
    Get back here, family jewels!
[15:37] ---
    You're saying it!
    You're saying spicy stuff!
[15:45] ---
    Crap, I lost sight of it!
[15:56] ---
    Momo-chan!
[16:01] ---
    Damn you!
[16:03] ---
    Ugh, what's with that thing?
    It's running like crazy!
[16:18] ---
    All right!
[16:26] ---
    Okarun!
[16:28] ---
    Momo-chan! That thing fell down.
[16:30] ---
    Okarun, grab onto me!
[16:32] ---
    Are you sure?
[16:33] ---
    It's fine!
[16:44] ---
    There it is!
[17:01] ---
    Okarun, are you okay?
[17:03] ---
    Hold on just a sec. I can't breathe.
[17:10] ---
    Sorry, I was reckless!
[17:15] ---
    No, it's all right.
[17:20] ---
    This is bad. I didn't think I was this powerless
    when I can't see the opponent.
[17:27] ---
    Same for me.
[17:30] ---
    More like, isn't that thing cheating?
[17:32] ---
    What's with this invisibility crap?
[17:34] ---
    - Come on, now.
    - Not fair, not fair, not fair!
[17:41] ---
    Wasn't that the perv?
[17:43] ---
    Did he follow us?
[17:44] ---
    This is terrible!
[17:47] ---
    Momo-chan, what's the plan?
[17:49] ---
    None! Priority is to save the perv!
[17:54] ---
    Wait, hold it right there!
[18:01] ---
    Oh, so amazing!
[18:02] ---
    You saved me! Thank you!
    I want to hug you!
[18:05] ---
    You dumbass, don't follow us!
[18:06] ---
    And what happened to our backpacks?
[18:09] ---
    Momo-chan, it's coming!
[18:13] ---
    I will have you tell me later
    exactly what you two are.
[18:17] ---
    Leave this to me!
[18:18] ---
    I'm tellin' ya to get lost
    cuz you're in the way!
[18:22] ---
    Let's go!
[18:23] ---
    Jet Stream Attack!
[18:27] ---
    That didn't do anything!
[18:28] ---
    What a bummer.
[18:30] ---
    Look at it from three directions!
[18:32] ---
    It's highly likely that it's using
    retro-reflective projection technology!
[19:11] ---
    I see it!
[19:15] ---
    Got it!
[19:16] ---
    Okarun, aim for this spot!
[19:23] ---
    Going full throttle!
[19:36] ---
    Nice, Okarun.
[19:38] ---
    Nice, Miss Ayase.
[19:39] ---
    Nice job to you, too.
[19:41] ---
    How'd you figure out
    that thing's weakness?
[19:44] ---
    I thought the invisibility
    was from optical camouflage.
SIGN    ESS EFF SPECIAL A MYSTERY IN OPTICS
[19:51] ---
    That's elemental for sci-fi.
[19:53] ---
    By detecting the imagery
    the opponent is seeing,
[19:55] ---
    you project that image
    on the suit you're wearing
[19:58] ---
    to make it seem like your body is invisible.
[20:00] ---
    But it doesn't work unless you accurately
    project in your opponent's line of sight.
[20:04] ---
    In this situation with multiple angles,
    it's completely ineffective.
[20:08] ---
    Okarun, this guy...
[20:09] ---
    This is...
[20:11] ---
    Wuh?
[20:21] ---
    What is that? It's not a ghost!
[20:23] ---
    A kaiju!
[20:25] ---
    Okarun, what is that thing?
[20:27] ---
    I have no idea!
[20:28] ---
    What happened to the golden ball
    that we defeated thanks to my hint?
[20:32] ---
    You dumbass! Stop with the spicy talk
    at every opportunity! It's gross!
[20:35] ---
    I'm sorry!
[20:36] ---
    But I welcome this physical contact.
[20:40] ---
    We were able to see the family jewels
    when it was invisible.
[20:43] ---
    Right now,
    isn't the family jewel-ness all gone?
[20:45] ---
    Indeed.
[20:46] ---
    Hey! What's different about
    my spicy jokes? Come on!
[20:50] ---
    It's not moving for now,
    so let's go down there and check it out.
[20:59] ---
    Takakura, can you tell me?
    How do you make spicy talk work?
[21:04] ---
    It's better not to say it.
[21:07] ---
    Damn it, you've been so annoying
    with spicy this, spicy that!
[21:10] ---
    I'm so happy!
[21:12] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[23:37] ---
    In any case, why are they all
    repeatedly making spicy comments,
[23:40] ---
    but only mine are deemed disgusting?
[23:42] ---
    Is it that my spicy jokes are a bit old?
SIGN    EPISODE 23 HEY, IT'S A KAIJU
[23:45] ---
    Next episode, "Hey, it's a Kaiju."
[23:47] ---
    Are you saying there is a state-of-the-art tool
    that goes beyond current technology?
[23:50] ---
    No, but wait!

Season 2

23 - Hey, it’s a Kaiju

Season 2

24 - Clash! Space Kaiju vs. Giant Robot!