# 9 - HAPPY Dice
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/GRZX20P8Y/cute-high-earth-defense-club-love)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** HAPPY Dice
**[01:47] shu**
Cultural festival, eh?
**[01:49] shu**
Yeah.
**[01:49] shu**
Cultural festival, huh?
**[01:51] shu**
Yeah.
**[01:53] shu**
A festival of culture,
by students, for students, huh?
**[01:57] kiri**
Just call it a cultural festival.
**[01:59] kiri**
But our club hasn't figured out what
we're going to do yet, have we?
**[02:02] waku**
We keep whispering "cultural festival" to
make it sound like we're thinking about it.
**[02:08] dogo**
If the Defense Club doesn't do anything,
the student council's gonna get on our asses.
**[02:12] dogo**
"If you don't participate,
you won't get any funds."
**[02:15] man**
And, more generally speaking, our nation's
educational principles require student attendance,
**[02:21] man**
in other words, participation,
in cultural festivals through high school.
**[02:24] man**
It will be counted on our attendance days,
so in that sense we really should do something.
**[02:28] shu**
That's why I've been thinking all this time.
**[02:31] kiri**
Uh, you haven't really been thinking.
**[02:33] waku**
It looks like you've just been
comfortably soaking in the hot water.
**[02:37] waku**
Like usual.
**[02:39] dogo**
We need you to get a grip already!
**[02:41] dogo**
We rolled a die and decided that you are
our cultural festival leader, Kyotaro-senpai!
**[02:46] shu**
Yeah, I know.
**[02:49] kar**
Oh?
**[02:51] kar**
There's a not-happy vibe going on in here.
**[02:54] kar**
What's the matter?
**[02:56] shu**
We can't figure out what to
do for the cultural festival.
**[02:59] shu**
Any ideas, Karls?
**[03:01] kiri**
There he goes, leaving it to someone else.
**[03:03] waku**
He doesn't even know about
Earth cultural festivals.
**[03:06] shu**
I just think Karls might have an idea.
**[03:09] shu**
Something that will make everyone happy.
**[03:11] kar**
Make everyone happy?
**[03:14] kar**
That sounds great!
**[03:15] shu**
See?
**[03:17] shu**
What do you think we should do?
**[03:18] kar**
Something that will lead my
vassals to happiness, of course!
**[03:22] shu**
Like what?
**[03:23] kar**
Maybe... something that will
make them smile happily!
**[03:25] shu**
Good idea.
**[03:27] kar**
Yeah! Being happy is the best!
**[03:30] shu**
Yeah.
**[03:31] kiri**
I'm not sure we can leave
things up to these two.
**[03:33] waku**
We're not gonna make it in time.
**[03:34] dogo**
We need to think of something.
**[03:36] man**
Let's search the club room tomorrow.
**[03:39] man**
We might find a relic of some past festival.
***SIGN*** Earth Defense Club (lol)
**[03:45] kiri**
What are these weird old sedge hats?
**[03:47] dogo**
Maybe they were used in
some kind of performance?
**[03:49] dogo**
A performance using sedge hats would be...
**[03:52] kiri**
The loach-scooping dance, maybe?
**[03:53] waku**
That uses baskets.
**[03:55] waku**
Though I'd love to see you
scooping loaches, Ryoma-kun.
**[03:58] kiri**
R-Really?
**[04:00] shu**
We could use this.
***SIGN*** The person to my right
**[04:03] sign**
Here.
**[04:05] sign**
What's that?
**[04:09] sign**
Um... These are party dice.
**[04:13] sign**
I see.
**[04:14] dogo**
It says stuff like "roughly"
and "gently" on it.
**[04:19] man**
This one says stuff like "to their senpai",
**[04:22] man**
"to the person on their right",
**[04:24] man**
"to a stranger".
**[04:27] kiri**
This one says stuff like
"give a shoulder massage"
**[04:29] kiri**
and "carry like a princess".
**[04:31] waku**
Titillating stuff.
**[04:34] shu**
Anyway, let's try it out.
**[04:36] shu**
If it's fun, we can use it at
tomorrow's cultural festival.
**[04:41] dogo**
Do it?
**[04:42] dogo**
Us, you mean?
***SIGN*** Now
**[04:44] shu**
Anyway... Rehearsal, start!
**[04:47] kar**
Okay!
**[04:49] kar**
What'll we roll? What'll we roll?
**[04:52] kar**
Nya-nya-nya-nyan!
**[04:54] shu**
There.
**[04:56] shu**
"Immediately..."
**[04:58] shu**
"The person to my left..."
**[05:00] shu**
"Must act as an invisible chair
for the oldest person present."
**[05:05] kiri**
Um...
**[05:06] kiri**
Does that mean...
**[05:08] shu**
The person to my left,
that is Chiro,
**[05:12] shu**
must act as an invisible chair
for the oldest person here.
**[05:16] shu**
In other words, Nanao-san.
**[05:19] dogo**
I-Invisible chair?
**[05:22] dogo**
For Nanao-senpai?
**[05:24] shu**
Yeah. Can't wait to see it.
**[05:26] karu**
Yeah! Fun is fun!
**[05:28] karu**
Okay, let's get happy!
**[05:32] waku**
Be gentle.
**[05:33] dogo**
Th-That's my line!
**[05:37] waku**
This is a very comfortable seat, Ichiro-kun.
**[05:43] waku**
You're slender, yet you seem
to have very developed thighs.
**[05:46] dogo**
H-How long do I have to hold this?
**[05:49] shu**
Um. It doesn't say.
**[05:52] shu**
Until you give up, I guess?
**[05:54] dogo**
Then I give! I give up!
**[05:57] waku**
That's too bad.
**[05:58] waku**
I was hoping to relax a little while longer.
**[06:03] waku**
I can, can't I, Ichiro-kun?
**[06:06] kiri**
Senpai is such a sadist...
**[06:07] dogo**
This is a lot more painful than it looks!
**[06:10] dogo**
B-Besides, Nanao-senpai's scent...
**[06:13] dogo**
It's like... it smells so good,
I can't concentrate!
**[06:16] shu**
Oh, does Nanao-san smell good?
**[06:19] kiri**
What shampoo do you use?
**[06:22] waku**
It's mild, good for hair and skin,
and I like the champagne rose scent.
**[06:29] dogo**
C-Champagne rose...
**[06:31] dogo**
I give up.
**[06:34] waku**
Excuse me. Are you all right?
**[06:36] dogo**
O-Of course I'm not okay!
**[06:39] waku**
It's true, your heart
does seem to be pounding.
**[06:44] kar**
That was great!
**[06:45] kar**
They're exuding a happy aura!
**[06:47] kiri**
A happy aura?
**[06:49] shu**
It looks like it to me.
**[06:50] man**
Is this game really okay?
**[06:52] kar**
Of course it is!
**[06:54] kar**
They both look so happy!
***SIGN*** Binan Festival
**[07:02] [SONG] sign**
Binan Festival
**[07:07] sa**
How can they persistently hold this
ridiculous event year upon year?
***SIGN*** Sai Goro
**[07:11] sa**
What's the school thinking? The government?
**[07:14] sa**
Do schools really need a cultural festival?
**[07:17] sa**
Is it absolutely indispensable
as part of a general education?
**[07:19] sa**
The answer is no!
**[07:21] sa**
These are the dice created by me,
for me alone, Sai Goro.
**[07:26] sa**
I'll come up with a significant
plan for the day and carry it out!
**[07:30] sa**
I won't be swept away by their attitudes!
**[07:36] sa**
Today I will, with my fellow entrance examinees,
individually study for entrance exams.
**[07:42] sa**
Perfect.
**[07:45] ata**
In this decadent school, he's a rare case
of someone rigidly setting their own schedule.
**[07:50] una**
Even if it is with dice.
**[07:52] shira**
I think the nerdy kids are the cutest!
**[07:57] furu**
Then let us begin, Edelstein!
**[08:02] una**
Sai Goro-kun, isn't it?
**[08:04] sai**
What of it?
**[08:05] ina**
Would you like to join us in bringing
the hammer of judgment down
**[08:09] ina**
upon this fallen school
and its ridiculous cultural festival?
**[08:13] shi**
By becoming a monster.
**[08:21] shi**
Die Verwandlung!
**[08:24] shi**
That which is unbreakable is truly strong!
**[08:27] shi**
Ritter Diamant!
**[08:30] shi**
Affection and comfort...
**[08:31] shi**
Ritter Rosenquarz!
**[08:35] shi**
Noble and virtuous!
**[08:37] shi**
Ritter Amethyst!
**[08:40] shi**
We are the Furanui Knights...
**[08:43] shi**
Edelstein!
**[08:46] shi**
Druck!
**[08:47] shi**
Mich!
**[08:47] shi**
Hart!
**[08:50] shi**
An!
**[08:59] mon**
Rollin', rollin'!
***SIGN*** Earth Defense Club (lol)
**[09:03] kiri**
We're doing it again?
**[09:05] shu**
Well, it has been kind of fun.
**[09:08] man**
You probably think that because you
haven't been through it yourself.
**[09:12] karl**
But fun stuff is good!
**[09:15] karl**
And it makes people happy!
**[09:17] karl**
Let's keep it up!
**[09:18] shu**
Okay, next, Tai-Tai will roll the dice.
**[09:21] man**
Why me?!
**[09:23] man**
What'll we roll? What'll we roll?
**[09:27] man**
Nya-nya-nya-nyan!
**[09:29] kiri**
There's a man who knows how to act.
**[09:31] man**
Given your attitudes, if I choose not to do it,
I'll be called a party-pooper.
**[09:36] dogo**
Smart! That's the Taishi I know!
**[09:38] shu**
Okay, I'll read out the result.
**[09:41] shu**
I, in other words Tai-Tai,
**[09:44] shu**
will immediately to a friend...
that would be Chiro, in this case...
**[09:47] dogo**
Me again?!
**[09:49] man**
You had it coming.
**[09:51] shu**
...put an arm around his shoulders
and gently read the lines on the note.
**[09:54] shu**
In other words, Tai-Tai must
immediately put an arm around Chiro
**[09:58] shu**
and gently read the lines on this note.
**[10:01] kiri**
What are the lines?
**[10:05] kiri**
What does it say?
**[10:07] man**
Something I never thought I'd say in my life.
**[10:12] shu**
Okay, Tai-Tai. Put your arm
gently around Chiro's shoulders.
**[10:16] man**
Don't make it sound so easy!
**[10:18] wa**
If you want to hate someone, hate the dice.
**[10:21] kiri**
Hmm? Did you just click your tongue?
**[10:25] man**
I certainly did not.
**[10:28] man**
It's not like I'm a delinquent.
**[10:30] man**
Well, here I go.
**[10:32] shu**
Okay, go for it.
**[10:37] dogo**
I dunno about this...
**[10:38] man**
That's my line.
**[10:41] shu**
Now, read the words on the note.
**[10:43] dogo**
Is it really that bad?
**[10:47] dogo**
Let's just get it over with!
**[10:51] man**
Very well.
**[10:53] man**
But I'm only doing this
because the dice made me.
**[10:56] dogo**
Just say it already!
**[11:03] man**
The next thing I knew,
I realized my eyes were always on you.
**[11:08] man**
Your most trivial mannerisms
cause my heart to skip a beat.
**[11:11] man**
Tell me, please...
**[11:14] man**
is this love?
**[11:19] waku**
You finally said it! Great job.
**[11:22] man**
I was forced to say it!
**[11:24] kiri**
But you put so much emotion into it!
**[11:26] kar**
Yeah, yeah!
**[11:27] kar**
You're radiating a happy aura!
**[11:29] shu**
This plan is a lot of fun.
**[11:32] man**
Shuzenji-senpai, Kirishima-senpai...
**[11:34] man**
you're just smiling because
you haven't had to do it.
**[11:36] dogo**
That's right! Is this really
what we're gonna do?
**[11:39] shu**
Well, it seems like a pain
to come up with something else.
**[11:43] sai**
Rollin' rollin'...
**[11:45] sai**
What a ridiculous set of dice!
**[11:48] sai**
They must pay!
***SIGN*** Karls Born February 4th Blood Type: O Aquarius Hobbies: Playing in the water Likes: Crayfish, hot baths
***SIGN*** Binan Festival
***SIGN*** Oden
***SIGN*** Curry Rice Takoyaki
**[12:12] dogo**
This isn't good, Kyotaro-senpai.
**[12:14] dogo**
We're not getting any customers.
**[12:17] kar**
I wonder why!
**[12:18] kar**
It would make everybody happy...
**[12:21] waku**
By the way, why are you in that form, Karls?
**[12:25] kar**
Everyone's transforming into something today,
**[12:27] kar**
so I transformed into a human!
**[12:29] shu**
Cosplay?
**[12:30] wak**
Ah, I see...
**[12:32] wak**
All that aside,
**[12:34] wak**
what should we do, given the situation?
**[12:37] man**
Looks like we'll just need to have
Shuzenji-senpai act as a shill and roll the die.
**[12:42] shu**
That's strange.
**[12:44] shu**
I wonder why nobody's coming.
**[12:46] kiri**
They might not, given that sign.
***SIGN*** Hey, Bastards, Get Over Here! The All-Men Heart-Racing Dice Party Plaza
**[12:53] man**
What is that? Creepy.
**[12:56] shu**
Isn't it flashy enough?
**[12:57] dogo**
I don't think that's the problem...
**[13:00] waku**
Well, it accurately conveys
our lack of effort.
**[13:03] man**
And our desire to never, ever do it.
**[13:07] kiri**
We'll be in trouble if this keeps up, though.
**[13:10] kiri**
I mean, they're looking at us...
**[13:12] kiri**
The student council.
**[13:14] kar**
Why don't we all do it together, then,
and attract people through the fun we're having!
**[13:18] waku**
That might be the thing to do.
**[13:20] dogo**
Okay. Kyotaro-senpai, take it away!
***SIGN*** Give a kiss
**[13:23] man**
Here you go.
**[13:25] shu**
No way. It's embarrassing.
**[13:27] dogo**
How dare you?!
**[13:29] man**
I agree! We all did it!
**[13:31] man**
We swallowed our pride.
**[13:32] waku**
Kyotaro-kun, I don't think you have a choice.
**[13:36] dogo**
Go on, roll the die already!
**[13:39] man**
Do it!
**[13:40] shu**
Fine, I'll do it.
**[13:42] shu**
If I do it, you'll leave me alone,
right? Fine, fine.
**[13:44] kar**
He's gonna do it!
**[13:45] kar**
Great!
**[13:47] kar**
Let's all roll the die happily!
**[13:48] kar**
What'll we roll? What'll we roll?
**[13:51] kar**
Nya-nya-nya-nyan!
***SIGN*** Hey, Bastards, Get Over Here! The All-Men Heart-Racing Dice Party Plaza
**[13:53] shu**
There.
**[13:55] shu**
Go.
**[13:56] dogo**
Okay, let's read it!
**[13:59] dogo**
Right now, I will princess-carry
the person to my left!
**[14:04] dogo**
Then he'll feed me!
**[14:06] dogo**
This is incredible!
**[14:08] man**
And then the person you
carry needs to feed you!
**[14:11] man**
It's perfect!
**[14:13] kiri**
W-Wait a minute!
**[14:15] kiri**
The person to your left would be...
**[14:17] waku**
It's clearly you, Ryoma-kun.
**[14:20] waku**
No, no, no...
**[14:21] dogo**
Don't you run away, Ryoma-senpai!
**[14:23] man**
You think we'll allow it?!
**[14:25] kiri**
Hey. You guys are looking really serious...
**[14:28] man**
You bet we are.
**[14:30] dogo**
After humiliating us like that yesterday,
**[14:32] dogo**
you really think we'll let you walk away?
**[14:35] man**
Precisely.
**[14:38] shu**
I guess I must.
**[14:39] kiri**
Why do you have to drag me into it?!
**[14:42] shu**
It's not my fault you were
next to me, Ryo-chin.
**[14:45] kiri**
But we're picking up an audience...
**[14:48] all**
Hey, I think they're about to do something!
**[14:51] all**
Shuzenji is gonna princess-carry Kirishima
and get him to feed him, apparently.
**[14:55] all**
The Defense Club is so stupid!
**[14:59] shu**
Ryo-chin.
**[15:01] kiri**
Let's get this over with.
**[15:03] kiri**
Eek!
**[15:04] man**
Wow, he just said "eek!"
**[15:06] man**
Yeah, he said "eek."
**[15:08] man**
Why "eek"?
**[15:09] man**
B-Because you swept me up so suddenly...
**[15:15] shu**
Do you know what needs to happen after this?
**[15:17] shu**
Y-Yeah.
**[15:19] shu**
You need to feed me while I'm carrying you.
**[15:24] shu**
Chiro.
**[15:24] dogo**
Coming, coming!
**[15:25] dogo**
The cake to be fed.
**[15:31] kiri**
W-Well... Here I go...
**[15:34] shu**
Ready when you are.
**[15:36] boy**
Hey, hey, he's doing it!
**[15:40] kiri**
Okay. Say ahh.
**[15:42] shu**
Ahh.
**[15:48] shu**
It's delicious, Ryo-chin.
**[15:52] boy**
Amazing! He did it!
**[15:54] boy**
Those two are nuts!
**[15:59] boy**
Great job, Defense Club!
**[16:01] boy**
I love it!
**[16:02] boy**
Do more!
**[16:05] ata**
Enjoy your celebrations while you can.
**[16:08] una**
Nice one!
**[16:10] shira**
I'm blushing!
**[16:11] dogo**
Wow, wow! So embarrassing...
**[16:14] man**
We may have pushed them too far.
**[16:16] waku**
But the audience seems to be enjoying it...
**[16:19] dogo**
Well, Kyotaro-senpai and
Ryoma-senpai are really close,
**[16:23] dogo**
so maybe it's okay?
**[16:24] mon**
What... what is this feeling of unity?
**[16:28] mon**
Dice are supposed to exist simply as a
tool to help you decide what to do.
**[16:33] mon**
To think they could be used to gather
such attention, to bring such happiness...
**[16:37] ata**
Why are you acting impressed?
**[16:43] ata**
What's that?
**[16:45] ata**
A new cosplay?
**[16:46] ata**
Cool!
**[16:48] ata**
You hate them, don't you?
**[16:50] ata**
That's why you became a monster, isn't it?
**[16:52] ata**
Dice Monster!
**[16:56] kiri**
Wait, you're a monster?
**[16:58] shu**
For real? I had no idea.
**[17:01] shu**
But if you're a monster,
why didn't you attack?
**[17:04] mon**
W-Well...
**[17:06] mon**
O-Obviously, at the start of this,
I intended to bring the hammer of judgment
**[17:10] mon**
down upon you for your unscrupulous
use of dice and your distracting activities...
**[17:15] mon**
But for some reason, I got drawn in...
**[17:18] mon**
The idea of using a die like that
to make so many people happy...
**[17:24] mon**
it was exhilarating!
**[17:28] waku**
Exhilarating?
**[17:30] waku**
Why didn't you just join in, then?
**[17:33] waku**
We could have all enjoyed it together.
**[17:37] mon**
W-We could all enjoy it together?
**[17:39] shu**
Yeah, we could have had fun together.
**[17:42] mon**
I see... So dice can be
used like that, too...
**[17:47] shu**
You really wanted to enjoy
the cultural festival from the start, didn't you?
**[17:52] ata**
This is nonsense!
**[17:53] ata**
Don't let them distract you!
**[17:55] ata**
Fight!
**[17:56] ata**
Are you a monster or aren't you?
**[17:58] mon**
B-But...
**[17:59] ata**
Bring your hammer of anger down upon them!
**[18:03] kar**
Everyone! You gotta save the monster!
**[18:06] kar**
He doesn't want to fight!
**[18:08] kar**
Make him happy at once!
**[18:10] shu**
That's right.
**[18:11] shu**
I don't want to fight
against Dice-kun, either.
**[18:14] shu**
Yeah.
**[18:15] shu**
That's right!
**[18:16] shu**
Okay!
**[18:17] kar**
In that case...
**[18:19] kar**
My magic knights of happiness, come on!
**[18:31] kar**
Now, make your pledge with a kiss.
**[19:07] kar**
Magic Knight of Flowers, Fiore Kiss!
**[19:22] kar**
Magic Knight of Stars, Stella Kiss!
**[19:35] kar**
Magic Knight of the Moon, Luna Kiss!
**[19:48] kar**
Magic Knight of Snow, Neve Kiss!
**[20:01] kar**
Magic Knight of Space, Spazio Kiss!
**[20:06] kar**
Like the flowers that
bloom across the world...
**[20:08] kar**
Like the stars that shine in the night sky...
**[20:11] kar**
Like the moon that illuminates
everything below...
**[20:13] kar**
Like the snow that gently
embraces the land...
**[20:16] kar**
Let's bring happiness to the universe!
**[20:18] kar**
We are the magic knights who bring happiness!
**[20:22] kar**
Karls Knights Happy Kiss!
**[20:26] kar**
Knights contract complete!
**[20:31] shu**
Dice-kun, let's play dice games together.
**[20:34] shu**
It'll be fun.
**[20:36] kiri**
Though it can be embarrassing...
**[20:38] waku**
Watching friends embarrass themselves
is the most fun a person can have.
**[20:43] waku**
Wakura-senpai... you really are a sadist.
**[20:46] karu**
Okay, everyone.
**[20:47] karu**
Let's make him happy!
**[20:49] karu**
With that again?
**[20:50] karu**
Of course!
**[20:52] karu**
Okay, go!
**[20:54] karu**
Now! Use your powers
combined to make him happy!
**[20:57] karu**
Are you happy?
**[20:59] karu**
Yes!
**[20:59] karu**
Are you happy?
**[21:00] karu**
Yes!
**[21:01] karu**
Are you happy?
**[21:02] karu**
Yes!
**[21:02] karu**
Are you happy?
**[21:03] karu**
Yes!
**[21:04] karu**
Are you happy?
**[21:05] karu**
Yes!
**[21:05] karu**
Let's happy hour!
**[21:09] karu**
Happy and Set!
**[21:22] karu**
Return to happiness!
**[21:25] karu**
Happy and Turn!
**[21:36] dice**
Feels like I'm on a roll...
**[21:43] dice**
Happy End!
**[21:45] dice**
Happy Powder!
**[21:51] sai**
What have I been...?
**[21:53] waku**
So the dice monster was Sai Goro-kun, huh?
**[21:56] shu**
Now, let's roll the dice together.
**[21:59] shu**
Okay!
**[22:05] ata**
"Happy end," my eye.
**[22:07] ata**
There are no such things as happy ends!
**[22:11] una**
Ata!
**[22:12] shira**
Ibusuki-senpai, wait up!
***SIGN*** HAPPY Old Men
***SIGN*** Next Episode
***SIGN*** Next time: Let's happy kiss our way to "HAPPY Old Men."
***SIGN*** Shuzenji Kyotaro's dream is to be able to space out forever.
***SIGN*** At last, he'll have his dream! Ah, I wish I could space out! (I mean it)