4 - Cute Little Boys of Love and Youth

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:10] atsu
    Hey, there's one!
[00:13] kusa
    There's another!
[00:15] atsu
    Meteor showers are cool, huh?
[00:17] kusa
    Yeah.
[00:22] atsu
    Hey. My big sister said that
[00:24] atsu
    if you make a wish three times
    before a shooting star disappears,
[00:28] atsu
    it'll come true.
[00:30] kusa
    Isn't that just superstition?
[00:31] atsu
    You think so?
[00:33] atsu
    But my sister really believes it.
[00:39] kusa
    What did you say?
[00:45] kusa
    That's so childish.
[00:46] atsu
    But I am a child.
[00:52] atsu
    I thought you didn't believe it, Kin-chan.
[00:54] kusa
    Just thought I'd try.
[00:56] atsu
    What did you wish for?
[00:59] kusa
    I wished for...
[01:00] gero
    Kusatsu-san.
[01:03] ari
    So this is where you were.
[01:05] gero
    What are you doing here with all the lights out?
[01:08] kusa
    Looking at the stars.
[01:10] gero
    Stars?
[01:11] kusa
    Yes. Shooting stars.
[01:14] ari
    Shooting stars? Wishing on a star, eh?
[01:17] ari
    I didn't know you were such a romantic, Kinshiro.
[01:22] gero
    So, what did you wish for?
[01:25] kusa
    I wished for...
[01:28] kusa
    World domination, of course.
SIGN    Cute Little Boys of Love and Youth
[03:09] yumoto
    Woosh, woosh, woosh!
[03:10] wom
    S-Stop it! Stop it, stop it!
[03:14] yumoto
    But you stink.
[03:15] yumoto
    What's it called? Animal stink?
[03:17] wom
    But washing me like this...
[03:20] yumoto
    When you stink,
[03:21] yumoto
    after I cuddle you, people tell me I stink!
[03:26] wom
    I don't stink! You're the ones who—
[03:29] yumoto
    Huh? We're the ones who stink?
[03:34] yumoto
    What kind of stink?
[03:34] wom
    Human...
[03:36] yumoto
    Human stink?
[03:37] wom
    Yes!
[03:38] yumoto
    Oh, really?
[03:40] yumoto
    Do wombats have a sharp sense of smell?
[03:44] wom
    I just happen to resemble your Earth animal.
[03:47] wom
    I am not an actual wombat!
[03:51] yumoto
    Then what are you?
[03:51] wom
    I am wfirocbx...
[03:53] yumoto
    Wfiro...?
[03:54] wom
    Xjudsu...
[03:56] yumoto
    Huh? Ikuju...
[03:58] yumoto
    Oh, whatever! Let's just go with Wom-san!
[04:03] yumoto
    Don't run away!
[04:04] wom
    Made it!
[04:08] atsu
    Give it a break already, Yumoto.
[04:10] atsu
    You're just like a child.
[04:13] en
    Well, in Yumoto's case,
    it's not just his behavior.
[04:16] en
    He looks like a kid, too.
[04:18] yumoto
    What's wrong with that?
    That means I look young, right?
[04:21] en
    Young? You've got to be kidding.
[04:23] en
    We're in high school, you little kid.
[04:25] yumoto
    Please stop calling me a kid.
[04:28] atsu
    Okay, Yumoto-kun,
    what's your dream for the future?
[04:31] yumoto
    To be a superhero!
[04:32] en
    See? A kid.
[04:34] en
    Hey, everyone! There's a kid in here!
[04:37] atsu
    Besides, we're already superheroes.
[04:39] atsu
    Though we didn't ask to be...
[04:41] yumoto
    Oh, that's right.
[04:44] tawara
    Well, I will be taking my leave ahead of you.
[04:48] yumoto
    Hey, I'm not done yet.
[04:50] tawara
    Pardon.
[04:52] io
    You're not just young.
    You really are a child, Yumoto.
[04:56] io
    Do you still pay the
    child fare to ride the bus?
[05:02] io
    I'm so jealous. You don't
    have to spend as much money.
[05:05] yumoto
    You got me, huh?
[05:07] yumoto
    Just kidding!
[05:08] io
    That's the kind of thing
    that makes you a kid.
[05:15] ryuu
    Anyway, you need more than
    just youth on your side.
[05:18] ryuu
    You need to channel that into appeal.
[05:20] en
    If you ask me, I'd say you're
    pretty childish yourself, Ryuu.
[05:24] ryuu
    Oh, Yufuin-senpai, you don't know my true power.
[05:28] en
    What true power?
[05:29] ryuu
    From married women to
    elementary school girls—
[05:31] yumoto
    You can't beat me in video games!
[05:33] io
    You be quiet!
[05:36] yumoto
    Okay...
[05:39] en
    If we were in the samurai ages,
[05:42] en
    we would have had our coming of age
    ceremony and be full-fledged adults by now.
[05:45] en
    Your looks don't determine
    whether you're actually young.
[05:48] ryuu
    That's a senior for you. You're so mature.
[05:51] en
    Senior?
[05:52] atsu
    Well, senior can refer to an
    older person or an upperclassman.
[05:56] ryuu
    That's right, Senior-senpai.
[05:59] en
    I feel like he just called me an old man.
[06:02] en
    Does my face really look that old?
[06:04] io
    It means that your appearance
    and behavior are both mature.
[06:07] atsu
    Being called mature is a compliment, right?
[06:10] atsu
    That's why, in the samurai ages,
    they'd shave off their forelocks
[06:13] [SONG] atsu
    and make themselves intentionally bald.
SIGN    °This is his individual opinion about forelock-shaving.
[06:15] [SONG] io
    Oh? Was that artificial baldness?
[06:18] [SONG] atsu
    Yes, they thought being bald
    made you look more adult.
[06:21] yumoto
    So if I shaved myself bald,
    people might not call me a kid?
[06:24] io
    No, it would just look like a miso commercial.
[06:27] yumoto
    What does that mean?
[06:30] en
    Does my face look old?
[06:32] atsu
    En-chan, are you really worried about that?
[06:34] en
    Maybe so... Does my face look old?
[06:39] ryuu
    Being young is a wonderful thing!
[06:41] yumoto
    Me too! Me too!
[06:48] io
    What is that?
[06:50] io
    You don't understand at all.
[06:55] en
    My inner calm reflects itself on my face.
[07:00] atsu
    He's so worried about it.
[07:11] yumoto
    I'm sorry, Mister. Were we being too loud?
[07:17] atsu
    Hey, Yumoto.
[07:18] en
    He's not an older man.
[07:21] en
    He wasn't wearing his uniform,
[07:24] en
    so I thought he was just some older guy, too.
[07:26] en
    But I just now realized...
[07:28] atsu
    He's a student at our high school.
[07:31] atsu
    They call him "the guy with
    the face of a 50-year-old."
SIGN    Igarao Oyaji
[07:37] atsu
    Igarao Oyaji!
[07:43] oyaji
    Damn it. I'm not an old man.
[07:45] kid
    Sir, good morning.
[07:46] oyaji
    When I go to school,
    they confuse me for a teacher.
[07:48] kid
    Go ahead!
[07:49] oyaji
    When I ride the train,
    people give up their seats for me.
[07:51] kid
    What's with that old guy?
[07:52] oyaji
    I didn't choose to be born
    with a face like this.
[07:55] oyaji
    I want to enjoy my youth like
    a high school student, too.
[07:59] oyaji
    I'm not an old man. I'm not an old man.
[08:02] oyaji
    I'm not an old man!
[08:07] ari
    He's our next target, eh?
[08:10] gero
    I see. I feel powerful dark energy from him.
[08:14] kusa
    His age complex will likely create
    a powerful negative field.
[08:21] zun
    Then let us go.
[08:23] kusa
    Conquest!
[08:26] trio
    We are the rulers of this blue world...
[08:29] trio
    Caerula Adamas!
[08:31] zun
    Now, release the Zundar Needle!
[08:36] trio
    Donum!
[09:01] yumoto
    Good morning, Gora!
[09:03] gora
    Oh, you're up early, Yumoto.
[09:04] yumoto
    Yeah, I've got club stuff.
[09:07] gora
    You do club stuff? Morning training?
[09:10] yumoto
    Morning cuddles!
[09:12] gora
    Morning cuddles?
[09:13] yumoto
    Yeah, morning cuddles.
[09:15] yumoto
    Thanks for the lunch, as usual!
[09:17] gora
    Sorry it's rice balls again.
[09:19] yumoto
    Nah, your rice balls are
    the best in the world!
[09:34] yumoto
    Woosh, woosh, woosh!
[09:37] atsu
    How long are you going to do that?
[09:39] atsu
    I can't believe you don't get tired of it.
[09:40] yumoto
    But it's fun.
[09:43] io
    Why not put that effort into a part-time job?
[09:46] io
    You could make a lot of money.
[09:47] yumoto
    That's not fun.
[09:49] ryuu
    Why not pick up girls?
[09:51] yumoto
    No interest in that.
[09:53] en
    Does my face really look that old?
[09:55] atsu
    Hey, are you still stuck on that, En-chan?
[09:57] en
    But that was the first time in my life
    I've been told my face looks old.
[10:01] en
    People had only described me
    as "hot" or "gorgeous" before.
[10:05] atsu
    I've never heard that...
[10:07] io
    Isn't that normal for an 18-year-old boy?
[10:10] io
    Isn't it people like Yumoto and
    Ryuu who are the exception?
[10:13] ryuu
    Don't lump me in with Yumoto.
[10:15] ryuu
    I'm cute! He's a kid.
[10:18] yumoto
    You called?
[10:22] atsu
    No, no. That's not true.
[10:24] atsu
    Having a face that looks old
    is like, for example,
[10:26] atsu
    the husband in that anime who has
    a coworker with really prominent lips,
[10:30] atsu
    but it turns out he's really 27.
[10:32] en
    Why are you talking about a nationally
    famous anime all of a sudden?
[10:36] en
    Why are you associating me,
    an 18-year-old, with that character who's 27?
[10:40] atsu
    Well, um, um...
[10:43] atsu
    The savior of the century's end
    with seven stars on his chest,
[10:45] atsu
    the cynical #2 of the Science Ninja Team,
[10:49] atsu
    and the protagonist's dark-skinned friend
[10:50] atsu
    voiced by Iizuka Shouzou
    in that robot war story
[10:52] atsu
    are all 18, too.
[10:54] atsu
    But you look much younger than them!
[10:56] en
    Why is this turning into even
    more of an anime superfan discussion?
[10:59] en
    And why is Iizuka Shouzou-san
    the only person you named outright?
[11:03] ryuu
    What are they talking about?
[11:05] io
    No idea.
[11:06] yumoto
    I like unagi more than anago!
[11:09] wombat
    Now's my chance!
[11:15] yumoto
    Hey, wait!
SIGN    Zaou Ryuu
    Born March 13th
    Blood Type B / Pisces
    Hobby: Snowboarding
    Likes: Girls, cherries
SIGN    Earth Defense Club                       (lol)
[11:38] yumoto
    Woosh, woosh, woosh!
[11:40] yumoto
    Woosh! Woosh, woosh!
[11:42] en
    Stop it, Yumoto! What are you doing?
[11:44] yumoto
    Well, Wom-san ran away, so...
[11:48] en
    Cut it out! Why me, then?
[11:49] atsu
    He really is a kid.
[11:50] io
    Such an unproductive endeavor
    won't earn you a single yen, you know.
[11:54] ryuu
    There's nothing fun about
    two men fooling around.
[11:58] yumoto
    Woosh! Woosh, woosh!
[12:00] atsu
    What is this?
[12:02] atsu
    I'm getting an irresistible urge to tickle En-chan.
[12:08] yumoto
    Woosh, woosh, woosh!
[12:09] en
    Why you now?
[12:11] atsu
    Well, it just looked so fun! Woosh, woosh!
[12:14] io
    Senpai, what are you doing?
[12:16] io
    Actually, I want to do it, too!
[12:19] io
    Woosh, woosh, woosh!
[12:19] ryuu
    What are you doing, Io?
[12:22] ryuu
    Damn! I'm getting revenge!
[12:25] en
    Then I'll get revenge, too!
[12:28] atsu
    Turning the tables is no fair!
[12:37] yumoto
    Hey, doesn't something seem weird?
[12:39] en
    Like what?
[12:40] atsu
    Now that you mention it, why are we
    acting like elementary schoolers?
[12:43] io
    I just got the urge to do it.
[12:46] yumoto
    It's almost like we've turned
    into elementary schoolers.
[12:49] yumoto
    Yeah, 'cause we have turned 
    into elementary schoolers!
[12:53] all
    What's going on here?!
[12:55] wombat
    Terrible news! An enemy's appeared!
[13:03] en
    Wh-What's all this?
[13:09] atsu
    What's going on?
[13:11] io
    The students have all become children.
[13:14] ryuu
    Darn it! I had a date after this!
[13:16] en
    That's what bothers you?
[13:17] yumoto
    Yay! Yay! This is kinda fun!
[13:20] en
    He's the only one who doesn't
    seem to have changed much.
[13:23] all
    Yeah.
[13:24] en
    You think this is the
    work of an enemy monster?
[13:27] yumoto
    Hey! Look at that!
[13:38] monster
    Become young again! Become young again!
[13:44] en
    Is that monster's power
    turning everyone into children?
[13:47] wombat
    Everyone! Time for Love Making!
[13:49] all
    Right!
[13:50] yumoto
    Love Making!
[13:54] yumoto
    The Sparkling Prince!
[13:56] yumoto
    Battle Lover Scarlet!
[13:58] en
    The Flashing Prince!
[13:59] en
    Battle Lover Cerulean!
[14:01] atsu
    The Piercing Prince!
[14:02] atsu
    Battle Lover Epinard!
[14:05] io
    The Roaring Prince!
[14:06] io
    Battle Lover Sulfur!
[14:08] ryuu
    The Thrilling Prince!
[14:10] ryuu
    Battle Lover Vesta!
[14:12] yumoto
    We are...
[14:13] yumoto
    Wait, what's up with this?!
[14:16] atsu
    That's weird. Why's it so baggy?
[14:19] en
    Our other clothes changed to child sizes.
[14:22] io
    This setup is lacking consistency.
[14:24] ryu
    And I really liked my costume, too.
[14:28] io
    You like that thing?
[14:31] monster
    Who are you people?
[14:34] en
    You, who befoul our beloved Earth!
[14:37] ryuu
    No justice can come from loveless power!
[14:40] io
    Love is all!
[14:41] atsu
    Live for love! Die for love!
[14:44] yumoto
    We are the heirs to the throne of love!
[14:47] five
    Battle Lovers!
[14:49] yumoto
    Feel the power...
[14:52] five
    Of love!
[14:55] yumoto
    You monster! We're gonna fight you!
[14:58] monster
    Battle Lovers? We'll see about that.
[15:01] yumoto
    What was that?
[15:03] yumoto
    Take this!
[15:04] yumoto
    Scarlet Lumiere!
[15:09] yumoto
    Huh? Why?
[15:10] atsu
    Has our power been halved
    because we're children?
[15:14] io
    It's the child rate?
[15:16] monster
    Then allow me to take the lead.
[15:38] monster
    What's wrong, Battle Lovers?
[15:40] monster
    These baggy clothes are hard to move in.
[15:42] ryuu
    Damn.
[15:44] ryuu
    I hate looking so uncool.
[15:46] io
    That's what bothers you?
[15:49] monster
    How unsightly.
[15:51] yumoto
    Damn it...
[15:53] monster
    Fall to ruin, Battle Lovers!
[16:02] atsu
    Hey, all we're doing is saying "wah!"
[16:05] monster
    Fall to ruin! Fall to ruin, all of you!
[16:08] monster
    This is your punishment for treating me
    like an old man based on the way I look!
[16:12] yumoto
    What did he say?
[16:14] atsu
    Is it possible he's...
[16:15] en
    "The guy with the face of a 50-year old"...
[16:17] en
    Igarao Oyaji!
[16:19] monster
    Don't call me by that nickname!
[16:29] monster
    Then I'll make you even younger.
[16:42] en
    What's going on?
[16:44] atsu
    I can't move!
[16:45] io
    It appears we've turned into
    kindergarteners this time.
[16:49] ryuu
    What was that?
[16:51] monster
    You literally can't raise a hand against me.
[16:54] yumoto
    Darn you, darn you, darn you.
[16:56] yumoto
    Oh, it undid our transformation.
[16:59] en
    Undid? Or disrobed?
[17:02] atsu
    "Disrobed our transformation"
    doesn't sound right for the genre.
[17:06] io
    This is very embarrassing.
[17:09] ryuu
    I'm not embarrassed, but I won't 
    forgive you for making that smaller.
[17:14] monster
    At this stage, you're effectively babies.
[17:16] monster
    No, you are babies.
[17:19] monster
    Then I'll send you to hell,
    as easy as taking candy from a baby!
[17:27] en
    Damn... At this rate...
[17:29] atsu
    Are we done for?
[17:33] io
    If I'd known this was going to happen,
    I would have spent all my savings.
[17:37] ryuu
    The women of the world will lament this.
[17:44] yumoto
    Wait a minute.
[17:46] en
    What is it at a time like this?
[17:48] yumoto
    Something's weird.
[17:49] atsu
    Weird?
[17:50] yumoto
    The setup here is that everyone's turning
    young because of him, right?
[17:54] io
    That's right. So?
[17:56] yumoto
    Then it really is weird.
[17:58] ryuu
    What's weird?
[18:00] yumoto
    Well, if that's the old man high school student,
[18:03] yumoto
    he wouldn't look like that,
    even if he turned young.
[18:07] ryuu
    I get it. Even young,
    someone who's ugly is still ugly.
[18:11] en
    He'd never become a pretty young boy.
[18:14] atsu
    Which means this is...
[18:15] yumoto
    An illusion!
[18:17] monster
    Oh, no!
[18:20] yumoto
    Now!
[18:31] yumoto
    Love Attack!
[18:37] monster
    What?!
[18:51] yumoto
    You're not really an old man.
[18:54] yumoto
    You're an 18-year-old high school student.
[18:57] yumoto
    Isn't it the resentment you feel that's
    really turning you into an old man?
[19:03] atsu
    That all sounds impressive,
    but it's not really fixing anything.
[19:07] yumoto
    Love Shower!
[19:16] monster
    What is this strange sensation?
[19:19] monster
    Comfort... healing...
[19:21] monster
    I see... So this is love.
[19:29] yumoto
    Love is over!
[19:31] io
    We're back to normal!
[19:37] yumoto
    Well, let's all put this
    behind us and have a bath!
[19:41] yumoto
    We're naked anyway!
[19:42] en
    Speaking of which, where'd our clothes go?
[19:44] yumoto
    Let's go!
[19:48] ari
    Accursed Battle Lovers.
[19:51] gero
    They foiled us yet again.
[19:53] zun
    It appears we failed once more.
[19:56] kusa
    Lord Zundar, I am sorry.
[19:59] zun
    No matter.
[20:01] zun
    Let them bask in their overconfidence for now.
[20:05] kusa
    Next time, I swear...
[20:07] zun
    I'll be counting on you.
[20:09] kusa
    Sir.
[20:10] ari
    But I thought this plan to turn the enemy
    into elementary schoolers to seal their power
[20:15] ari
    would work out well.
[20:18] kusa
    Elementary schoolers, huh?
[20:20] gero
    Is something wrong?
[20:22] kusa
    No... It's nothing.
[20:26] kusa
    Just remembering something from long ago.
[20:33] yumoto
    Woosh, woosh, woosh!
[20:36] en
    Enough of that, Yumoto.
[20:38] en
    He really is a kid.
[20:40] atsu
    Well, he's the only one who didn't change
    at all when the enemy made us young.
[20:44] en
    No matter how young you
    make the kid, a kid is still a kid.
[20:52] ryuu
    Oh, no!
[20:53] io
    Don't worry. The shield function made
    it so he wouldn't recognize our faces.
[20:56] ryuu
    Oh, that's right.
[21:03] atsu
    You seem to be in a good mood.
[21:05] en
    Did something good happen to you?
[21:08] oyaji
    Well, actually, I got a girlfriend.
[21:13] ryuu
    Oh, does she like older men?
[21:14] io
    Hey!
[21:15] oyaji
    That's right.
[21:17] oyaji
    She says they're wonderfully reliable.
[21:22] oyaji
    She said she made a wish on
    a star to meet a wonderful man.
[21:28] io
    I see...
[21:30] atsu
    You heard him.
[21:31] en
    Why are you telling me that?
[21:32] ryuu
    I'm glad to hear it,
    though it's also kind of annoying.
[21:36] oyaji
    Yes!
[21:39] en
    What is it?
[21:40] atsu
    He reminded me that I made a wish
    on a shooting star when I was little.
[21:44] en
    What was it?
[21:45] atsu
    To be a superhero.
[21:47] en
    Just like a kid.
[21:49] atsu
    Well, I was a kid.
[21:51] en
    You can't say anything about Yumoto.
[21:54] atsu
    That reminds me.
[21:55] atsu
    What did he wish for then, I wonder?
[21:59] yumoto
    Woosh! Woosh, woosh!
[22:02] wombat
    Please stop...
[22:07] wombat
    Ma-Ma-Macho...
[23:40] ryuu
    For some reason, the Press Society guys
    are hanging around the Defense Club.
[23:44] ryuu
    They muscle in on my calls to girls.
    It's beyond annoying!
[23:48] ryuu
    Remote control? I'll buy you one of those!
[23:50] ryuu
    Next time: To Steal Love Without Regret.
SIGN    Next Time
SIGN    To Steal Love Without Regret
[23:52] ryuu
    Love Making!