# 1 - The Suddenness of HAPPY! KISS
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/GRZX20P8Y/cute-high-earth-defense-club-love)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:00] fura**
--
**[00:00] etsu**
--
**[00:00] ---**
--
**[00:00] kiri**
--
***SIGN*** Earth Defense Club (lol)
**[00:32] kiri**
Hey, Kyotaro! There you are!
**[00:37] kiri**
What's that? A bird?
**[00:42] shu**
You shouldn't have startled him, Ryo-chin.
**[00:44] kiri**
I see the animals still love you, at least.
**[00:48] kiri**
Didn't I catch you napping with a stray cat
in the courtyard not long ago?
**[00:53] shu**
Did you?
**[00:54] kiri**
Look at you, you're a mess.
**[00:56] kiri**
You need to brush your hair.
**[00:57] shu**
So? What did you want?
**[00:59] kiri**
Oh, right. You missed a quiz.
**[01:03] kiri**
I told them you were in
the nurse's office, but...
**[01:05] shu**
Ah, thank you.
**[01:08] kiri**
Don't "thank you, yawn" me!
**[01:12] kiri**
You're gonna get written up again.
**[01:15] shu**
I'll work it out.
**[01:16] kiri**
Work it out how?
**[01:18] shu**
Well, things have always worked out before.
**[01:21] kiri**
Is that looking on the bright side,
or throwing in the towel?
**[01:25] shu**
I'm not sure...
**[01:26] shu**
What do you think it is, Ryo-chin?
**[01:28] kiri**
How should I know?
**[01:30] kazu**
Is this indolence I see?
**[01:31] kiri**
Insolence?
**[01:32] kazu**
In-do-lence.
**[01:34] kiri**
Wakura-senpai, you really have
an advanced vocabulary.
**[01:38] kazu**
Put simply, it means "lazy."
**[01:42] kazu**
But since things always work out for you,
**[01:45] kazu**
I can't totally criticize you,
which is the problem.
**[01:49] shu**
I think I just get lucky.
**[01:51] kazu**
No, no. Even if it's just luck,
it's impressive.
**[01:57] waku**
Ryoma-kun, would you make us some tea?
**[01:58] kiri**
What treats did you bring today?
**[02:00] waku**
I'm not telling you, Ryoma-kun.
**[02:03] waku**
Just kidding. It's salt
daifuku from the Takeyado.
**[02:07] kiri**
Salt daifuku!
**[02:08] kiri**
What tea do you recommend?
**[02:11] waku**
Roasted green...
**[02:12] kiri**
Got it!
**[02:13] waku**
Just kidding. A bitter black would be best.
**[02:15] kiri**
R-Right!
**[02:18] shu**
Hey, Nanao-san.
**[02:19] waku**
Yes?
**[02:20] shu**
I've been thinking...
**[02:22] shu**
Aren't you a little too hard on Ryo-chin?
**[02:26] waku**
Certainly not.
**[02:27] waku**
Things do tend to get hard
when he's around.
**[02:30] kiri**
What do you mean by that?
**[02:32] waku**
You really want to know?
**[02:33] kiri**
No, actually.
**[02:36] waku**
It's because you're so much fun, Ryoma-kun.
**[02:41] kiri**
I'm... honored.
**[02:42] shu**
I think I see what you mean.
**[02:45] waku**
Right?
**[02:48] waku**
Well, all that aside...
**[02:50] waku**
The little ones are late, aren't they?
**[02:52] do**
Hey, hey, hey!
**[02:53] do**
I told you, it's proof!
**[02:54] ban**
What's this one board supposed to prove?
**[02:57] dogo**
I told you, it's proof that people
besides us were in the Defense Club!
**[03:02] ban**
It's just a silly prank.
**[03:03] dogo**
What makes you think it's a prank?
**[03:06] waku**
What's going on, Ichiro-kun? Taishi-kun?
**[03:08] shu**
Why are you always arguing? Chiro, Tai-Tai?
**[03:12] dogo**
Taishi says there was no Defense Club!
**[03:12] ban**
Ichiro says there was a Defense Club!
**[03:16] kiri**
Hey, little ones. I see you're playing nice.
**[03:17] dogo**
Little ones? You mean us?
**[03:20] ban**
That label is extremely inappropriate.
**[03:22] ban**
Well, maybe it's all right for Ichiro.
**[03:24] dogo**
Hey, hey, hey! What do you mean,
it's all right for me?
**[03:26] ban**
Do I really need to explain reality to you?
**[03:29] ban**
You're a munchkin, Ichiro.
**[03:30] dogo**
I've gained three millimeters
since the year started!
**[03:33] ban**
Your math must be off.
**[03:35] kiri**
So, what's this about the Defense Club?
**[03:38] dogo**
We're debating whether
there was a Defense Club...
**[03:40] ban**
...or if there wasn't one.
**[03:43] dogo**
Nanao-senpai, what do you think?
**[03:45] ban**
It's just a prank, right?
**[03:48] waku**
That's a good question...
**[03:50] waku**
What do you think, Kyotaro-kun?
**[03:53] shu**
Long ago... or perhaps not so long ago,
**[03:58] shu**
there were aliens who were
trying to destroy Earth.
**[04:01] shu**
But others rose up to prevent them,
and this is where they organized.
**[04:07] shu**
They called themselves
the Earth Defense Club.
**[04:11] dogo**
You mean, they protected Earth?
**[04:13] shu**
You think they didn't?
**[04:15] shu**
What did you think they
were protecting, Chiro?
**[04:17] ban**
Wait a minute. Shuzenji-senpai,
were you just...
**[04:21] shu**
...making it up.
**[04:25] kiri**
I thought it sounded made up.
**[04:27] shu**
I just thought it would
be neat if it was true.
**[04:29] kiri**
Yeah, yeah. Let's have tea, everyone.
***SIGN*** The Suddenness of HAPPY! KISS
**[04:39] shu**
Maybe their enemies were
called the Conquest Club.
**[04:43] shu**
That would be the opposite of the Defense Club.
**[04:44] kiri**
Are we still on this subject?
**[04:46] shu**
Each time I look at that darkened sign,
**[04:49] shu**
it feels like we've come so far.
**[04:52] dogo**
Kyotaro-senpai, you sound
like an old man. It's freaky.
**[04:56] shu**
Is it?
**[04:58] shu**
I want to get older soon,
so I can spend eternity spacing out.
**[05:03] shi**
I won't allow it!
**[05:06] una**
But you don't think adding more
school rules is a bit much?
**[05:09] shi**
Unazuki-san, you're too soft.
**[05:12] shi**
If we allow for freedom and independence,
**[05:14] shi**
Binan High School will deteriorate further.
**[05:16] shiro**
It's not good right now?
**[05:18] shiro**
I'm in shock...
**[05:19] shi**
Of course it's not, Maasa!
**[05:22] shi**
Indolence and sloth run rampant!
**[05:25] shiro**
Indolence? Sloth?
**[05:28] shiro**
I don't understand those words myself.
***SIGN*** Koshigawa Wataru
**[05:31] etsu**
*I just love the Binan High
School student council!*
**[05:35] etsu**
*The ever-gallant president, Ibusuki Ata-san!*
**[05:39] etsu**
*With his aura of born handsomeness,
vice president Unazuki Taiju-san!*
**[05:44] etsu**
*And the impish little cutie-pie,
secretary Shirahone Maasa-san!*
**[05:49] etsu**
*They're too bright for my eyes to behold!*
**[06:03] kiri**
Kyotaro, you're like an old man.
**[06:06] kiri**
You even make breathing
look like too much effort.
**[06:09] shu**
If I forget to breathe, do remind me.
**[06:17] shu**
This feels good.
**[06:19] shu**
Makes me sleepy...
**[06:21] kiri**
H-Hold it, Kyotaro!
**[06:26] kiri**
Kyotaro. What's that?
**[06:33] ban**
Yikes!
**[06:37] karl**
Wow, I can't believe there's
water in a place like this!
**[06:41] karl**
Major surprise!
**[06:42] kiri**
Who's this? A customer?
**[06:44] waku**
I've never seen him before.
**[06:46] karl**
Sorry to startle you.
**[06:48] waku**
No, that's all right...
**[06:50] shu**
You came here dressed?
**[06:53] kar**
Should I have taken off my clothes?
**[06:55] waku**
Well, one usually does.
**[06:58] karl**
How come?
**[06:59] kiri**
Isn't it uncomfortable to be in wet clothes?
**[07:03] karl**
Now that you mention it...
**[07:05] karl**
But...
**[07:13] karl**
Now it's all better!
**[07:15] dogo**
Wow, wow, wow! You're like an animal!
**[07:18] karl**
Is that strange? Unusual?
**[07:23] karl**
You don't dry off so easily here?
**[07:27] karl**
I see!
**[07:28] karl**
Then... can you do this?
**[07:32] dogo**
No, no, no!
**[07:35] karl**
How about this?
**[07:39] dogo**
I told you, no, no, no.
**[07:50] waku**
What is this? Magic tricks?
**[07:54] karl**
That's right, this is our tributary!
**[07:58] karl**
It's the human realm! Earth!
**[08:00] karl**
The people, the powers,
and the society are all different!
**[08:03] karl**
Neat!
**[08:05] karl**
But this is no time to
stand around starry-eyed...
**[08:07] karl**
Oh, oh, what was I supposed
to do next, again?
**[08:11] dogo**
What's a tributary?
**[08:12] ban**
A territory. Sort of like a colony.
**[08:16] karl**
I know! I should explain.
**[08:19] karl**
I need to explain to you... my subjects!
**[08:25] karl**
I'm Karls, first prince of Honyala Land!
**[08:28] karl**
I've come to rule over you, happy-style!
**[08:33] dogo**
What the heck is this? What, what, what?
**[08:35] ban**
Is that an otter?
**[08:36] karl**
Oh, drat. I turned back to normal. Tee-hee.
**[08:42] shu**
I need to trade in my
winning popsicle sticks.
**[08:45] karl**
Wait, wait! I've got a deal for you!
**[08:48] shu**
A great offer?
**[08:49] karl**
Yes! Info on an amazing, surprising bargain!
**[08:52] karl**
You'll regret it forever
if you let this slip away.
**[08:54] waku**
Just what is this deal?
**[08:56] karl**
The Karls Knights are hiring!
**[08:58] karl**
You get to be my knights for free!
**[09:01] karl**
You can even help me in my happy reign!
**[09:04] karl**
Great deal, huh?
**[09:08] waku**
Right, I need to wash
the curtains in my room.
**[09:11] waku**
I just forgot, I'm running low on tea.
**[09:12] waku**
I have a library book to return.
**[09:13] waku**
Gotta water my flowers.
**[09:15] karl**
Wait! Wait!
**[09:17] karl**
Is all that more important
than being a knight?
**[09:22] shu**
No... it just sounds like a raw deal.
**[09:29] karl**
Someone is sad.
**[09:37] etsu**
*I never wanted to grow up.*
**[09:40] etsu**
* The older I get,*
* the more dirty and ugly I become.*
**[09:45] etsu**
*I don't want to change.*
**[09:47] etsu**
*I want to be a child forever.*
***SIGN*** 1704th The tradition!!
Pretty Boy Contest
**[09:56] etsu**
I can't even take part in the
Pretty Boy Contest anymore, either.
**[10:00] etsu**
I, who was once called an angel,
**[10:03] etsu**
have shed my wings and fallen to earth!
**[10:08] etsu**
Who's there?
**[10:13] una**
I see. What a terrifying story.
**[10:16] shira**
The world is just packed
full of fear, isn't it?
**[10:19] shira**
You'd be better off faithfully
serving your ruler, then.
**[10:23] etsu**
What are you talking about?
**[10:31] etsu**
Blorf!
***SIGN*** Shuzenji Kyotaro
Born 11/28
Blood Type: B
Sagittarius
Hobbies: Napping and hot baths
Likes: Dorayaki, spacing out
**[10:40] kiri**
Wh-What happened?
**[10:42] shu**
Think it got something caught in its throat?
**[10:43] kiri**
Like what?
**[10:45] karl**
J... J...
**[10:46] shu**
Just Google it, asshole?
**[10:48] karl**
No!
**[10:50] karl**
Someone is sad.
**[10:53] waku**
Sad?
**[10:55] waku**
I suppose there would be.
**[10:57] waku**
There are 7.5 billion people in the world.
**[10:59] waku**
They can't all be doing
cartwheels all the time.
**[11:01] karl**
You're wrong! They all need
to be happy, all the time!
**[11:04] waku**
Um, you think he's a cult
person or something?
**[11:08] kiri**
Well, he's not exactly a person...
**[11:10] shu**
Either way, he doesn't seem like
someone we should get involved with.
**[11:14] karl**
Wait! Wait!
**[11:15] karl**
I can't stand having someone sad out there!
**[11:17] karl**
I want to make him happy!
**[11:19] shu**
Even though you're an otter?
**[11:21] karl**
I'm not an otter! I'm Karls!
**[11:23] karl**
I'm a prince!
**[11:24] karl**
So c'mon, just work for
me a little, would you?
**[11:27] shu**
What's with that natural exploitation style?
**[11:30] karl**
C'mon... Just for a little while!
**[11:32] karl**
Please! C'mon! Please!
**[11:33] shu**
Sorry.
**[11:34] shu**
You can beg me like a louse of an absentee
husband all you want, but it's not happening.
**[11:36] karl**
I'm begging you!
**[11:38] kiri**
He's getting awfully friendly.
**[11:39] shu**
Nope, not happening.
**[11:42] karl**
Darn it... In that case...
**[11:51] dogo**
That really hurt!
**[11:53] ban**
Hey, are we at school?
**[11:54] dogo**
What is this? So bad, so bad, so bad!
**[11:57] waku**
Somebody's probably calling the cops now.
**[11:59] kiri**
I'm cold out here! I'm gonna catch a cold!
**[12:02] karl**
Gentlemen! I'll explain later—
**[12:05] shu**
You can't throw people out
naked in early spring.
**[12:08] shu**
I'm very cold right now.
**[12:09] karl**
A little exercise would warm you u—
**[12:11] shu**
Japanese otters were hunted for their
pelts and went extinct as a result.
**[12:17] shu**
Perhaps you could warm me up.
**[12:19] karl**
Warm you up?
**[12:21] shu**
As a pelt.
**[12:23] mon**
Blorf!
**[12:24] all**
Blorf! Blorf! Blorf!
**[12:28] dogo**
I can't tell what they're saying...
**[12:31] ban**
It sounds like a chorus made up of the
world's worst elementary school bullies!
**[12:36] stu**
Help!
**[12:43] kai**
Taste the terror of the tone-deaf "blorf!"
***SIGN*** Blorf
**[12:48] dogo**
Is he behind it?
**[12:49] shu**
You got it, Chiro.
**[12:51] waku**
He's producing that "blorf" sound everywhere.
**[12:57] waku**
Is that the sad person?
**[13:00] karl**
Yes!
**[13:02] karl**
He's currently beset by anger and suffering!
**[13:05] karl**
It's the depths of sorrow!
**[13:06] karl**
As a prince, I cannot allow my
subjects to experience such misery!
**[13:10] karl**
As the first prince of Honyala
Land, Karls de Yutari Honyalala,
**[13:13] karl**
I'm going to make him happy!
**[13:15] karl**
My knights of happiness!
**[13:18] karl**
Come on!
**[13:31] karl**
Now, make your pledge with a kiss.
**[14:11] shu**
Magic Knight of the Flowers, Fiore Kiss!
**[14:25] kiri**
Magic Knight of the Stars, Stella Kiss!
**[14:38] waku**
Magic Knight of the Moon, Luna Kiss!
**[14:51] ban**
Magic Knight of the Snow, Neve Kiss!
**[15:04] dogo**
Magic Knight of Space, Spazio Kiss!
**[15:09] dogo**
Like the flowers that
bloom across the world...
**[15:12] dogo**
Like the stars that shine in the night sky...
**[15:14] dogo**
Like the moon that illuminates
everything below...
**[15:17] dogo**
Like the snow that gently
embraces the land...
**[15:19] dogo**
Let's bring happiness to the universe!
**[15:22] dogo**
We are the magic knights who bring happiness!
**[15:25] dogo**
Karls Knights Happy Kiss!
**[15:30] karl**
Knights contract complete!
**[15:33] kiri**
Hey, this isn't right!
**[15:34] kiri**
I didn't do that willingly!
**[15:36] waku**
How did it work, exactly?
**[15:38] waku**
Brainwashing? Hypnosis? A dream?
**[15:40] ban**
We shouldn't underestimate that otter...
**[15:43] shu**
His hand was surprisingly soft.
**[15:46] all**
*That's* your comment?!
**[15:47] shu**
Well, it really was soft. And smooth.
**[15:53] kiri**
We're flying?
**[15:54] waku**
It seems we really have become magic knights.
**[16:04] dogo**
Hey, he's coming after us!
**[16:06] ban**
No mercy. We'll have to
friggin' crush that guy!
**[16:09] kiri**
We will?
**[16:11] ban**
We can hardly stand back and leave the
students of Binan High School in danger.
**[16:16] karl**
Yes, yes! Go, make them happy!
**[16:19] dogo**
Hey, you...
**[16:19] kar**
I'm not the one you should be looking at!
**[16:23] ban**
Get the hell away from us!
**[16:29] dogo**
Taishi!
**[16:31] karl**
Oh. Those aren't for throwing...
**[16:36] waku**
Wow, those things are powerful!
**[16:40] kiri**
Wakura-senpai?
**[16:45] waku**
Just kidding.
**[16:49] kiri**
We did it!
**[16:54] kiri**
What do you want?
**[16:56] kiri**
Why are you doing this?
**[16:58] ban**
Kirishima-senpai, we're under no
obligation to ask for his motivations.
**[17:02] mon**
I'll tell you!
**[17:03] dogo**
Hey, whoa, he just started talking!
**[17:07] mon**
I was once happy.
**[17:10] mon**
But one day, I became unhappy.
**[17:13] mon**
Anger and fear. I didn't want to grow up.
**[17:13] kiri**
Any idea what he's talking about?
**[17:14] mon**
The older I got, the dirtier
and uglier I would become.
**[17:15] dogo**
Not a clue.
**[17:15] ban**
Clueless.
**[17:16] waku**
You think he's just throwing
a tantrum or something?
**[17:17] mon**
I didn't want to change.
I wanted to remain a child.
**[17:19] mon**
No! I'm generously sharing
my fear with others!
**[17:23] kiri**
Uh, I don't think anyone
wants a piece of that...
**[17:25] mon**
Shut up!
**[17:28] shu**
But, hey...
**[17:30] shu**
Aren't fear and unhappiness
and such relative?
**[17:34] kiri**
Kyotaro, what are you doing?
**[17:36] dogo**
I had a feeling one of us wasn't in the shot...
**[17:39] ban**
I thought the layout artists flubbed it.
**[17:41] waku**
Just watching, huh?
**[17:43] shu**
I was rooting for you. Inside.
**[17:46] kiri**
Even after transforming,
Kyotaro's still Kyotaro...
**[17:50] karl**
Wait! Let's hear what Fiore Kiss has to say!
**[17:53] dogo**
Fiore?
**[17:57] shu**
Well, if you're happy,
you'll think happiness is best, right?
**[18:00] mon**
Shut up! Happiness is the
first step to depravity!
**[18:03] mon**
Fear brings people together!
**[18:05] mon**
It makes them take action out
of anger and dissatisfaction!
**[18:07] shu**
Yeah, but I hate being brought together.
**[18:10] shu**
Being alone is easier.
**[18:13] ban**
He has a point, sort of...
**[18:15] dogo**
He's being pretty blunt about it.
**[18:17] shu**
So what's wrong with being happy?
**[18:19] shu**
Even if it's depravity.
**[18:20] mon**
What's this? My fear isn't working...
**[18:24] shu**
Well, "blorf" isn't exactly terror-inspiring...
**[18:27] kiri**
Kyotaro doesn't have any
hang-ups at all, does he?
**[18:30] mon**
Hang-ups?
**[18:32] mon**
You call this a hang-up?
**[18:34] karl**
Now, my knights!
**[18:36] karl**
Make him happy at once!
**[18:43] shu**
Huh? Why are you looking at me?
**[18:45] kiri**
Couldn't you help us out a little?
**[18:47] ban**
You sound like a wife
nagging her lazy husband...
**[18:49] dogo**
I mean, come on! You got the
cool red uniform and all!
**[18:53] shu**
Being in red doesn't mean
anything in particular.
**[18:56] ban**
In most stories, being red
means you're the leader.
**[19:00] ban**
Red brings to mind sun, flame,
heat, blazing blood, etc.
**[19:04] ban**
That's one theory for why
it's the leader color.
**[19:07] ban**
Another theory suggests that red is the
first color that a child's eye perceives,
**[19:12] ban**
and so they use red, since children
are more likely to recognize it.
**[19:17] kiri**
That's our Taishi.
**[19:19] kiri**
He's a font of old lady trivia.
**[19:20] ban**
I'm not an old lady!
**[19:22] dogo**
Anyway, red has to be the leader.
**[19:25] dogo**
Now... Kyotaro-senpai,
beat that thing already!
**[19:29] shu**
Well, I mean, I really don't
think red is my color...
**[19:34] kiri**
I wonder why Kyotaro is our Red, anyway...
**[19:37] waku**
Maybe because he was first
to make the oath kiss?
**[19:41] waku**
But since Kyotaro is Red,
I think it's time he showed his stuff.
**[19:44] shu**
I'm not Red. But I guess this
won't end until I do it.
**[19:48] karl**
Now, combine your powers to make him happy!
**[19:52] karl**
Are you happy?
**[19:53] karl**
Yes!
**[19:54] karl**
Are you happy?
**[19:55] karl**
Yes!
**[19:55] karl**
Are you happy?
**[19:56] karl**
Yes!
**[19:57] karl**
Are you happy?
**[19:58] karl**
Yes!
**[19:58] karl**
Are you happy?
**[19:59] karl**
Yes!
**[20:00] karl**
Let's happy hour!
**[20:03] all**
Happy and Set!
**[20:16] shu**
Return to happiness!
**[20:19] shu**
Happy and Turn!
**[20:30] mon**
Feels just like heaven!
**[20:38] shu**
Happy End!
**[20:41] etsu**
What was I...
**[20:44] shu**
So your fear was about your voice changing?
**[20:47] shu**
No need to worry about that.
**[20:50] shu**
Soon enough, you'll become an
old man in every way there is.
**[20:53] shu**
Not just your voice.
**[20:55] etsu**
Old man?
**[21:06] shu**
I was trying to encourage him...
**[21:08] kiri**
You messed up.
**[21:10] waku**
But maybe it's a good chance for
him to learn more about himself.
**[21:15] karl**
Yeah! Because "happy" isn't
something you search for!
**[21:17] karl**
It's something you feel!
**[21:19] karl**
You did a great job for your
first time as magic knights.
**[21:22] karl**
Let's work together from now on!
**[21:25] ban**
From now on?
**[21:26] dogo**
How long do we do this, exactly?
**[21:27] karl**
Until either Furanui or I become king,
and your sentence...
**[21:32] karl**
I mean, your contract is fulfilled
and your Happybraces disappear.
**[21:35] dogo**
Happybraces?
**[21:36] ban**
Furanui?
**[21:38] karl**
Happybraces are those bracelets from before!
**[21:42] karl**
Furanui is my little brother.
**[21:44] kura**
Brother?
**[21:45] fra**
Prince Karls.
**[21:49] fra**
I shan't let you defeat me.
**[21:52] fra**
I am the true heir to the
throne of Honyala Land,
**[21:54] fra**
and better suited to rule over our subjects.
**[21:57] dogo**
Oh wow, so cute!
**[21:59] ban**
Though what he's saying is fairly outrageous.
**[22:09] fura**
If you attempt to stand against me...
**[22:12] fura**
I shall do all I can to eliminate you.
**[22:15] fura**
With the Furanui Knights... the Edelstein!
***SIGN*** HAPPY Recipe
***SIGN*** Next Episode
***SIGN*** Next time: "Let's happy kiss our way to HAPPY Recipe"
***SIGN*** Princes Karls and Furanui compete to become king of the magical realm, Honyala Land.
***SIGN*** Happyocracy or reign of fear... Which will rule in the human world?
***SIGN***