# 5 - Tsukamoto-kun's Life Is All About Laughs
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/GYNQZQ3XY/clean-freak-aoyama-kun)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** I ♥ Aoyama
***SIGN*** Team Aoyama
**[00:09] sat**
Damn it!
**[00:12] cheer**
Clean! Clean! A-o-ya-ma!
**[00:15] cheer**
Clean! Clean! A-o-ya-ma!
**[00:18] sat**
C-Captain, what are you doing?
**[00:18] cheer**
Clean! Clean! A-o-ya-ma!
**[00:23] cap**
Nice shot! Good job, Aoyama!
**[00:26] aoy**
Th-Thanks.
**[00:28] tsu**
* I never expected our captain to join*
* Aoyama's fan club: Team Aoyama.*
**[00:34] sak**
Oh.
**[00:36] yos**
Here it comes!
**[00:38] tsu**
There, there, there, there!
**[00:39] sak**
And there it is!
**[00:40] sak**
The time-honored treasure in
four eyes' arsenal, butt keepie-uppie!
**[00:40] tsu**
There, there, there, there!
**[00:47] tsu**
*It's working! It's working!*
**[00:49] tsu**
*This'll work tomorrow, too.*
**[00:51] tsu**
*I'm all about scoring laughs, not goals!*
***SIGN*** #05
***SIGN*** Tsukamoto-kun's Life Is
All About Laughs
**[02:29] sak**
Gotcha!
**[02:32] yos**
Four eyes!
**[02:34] tsu**
Yeah!
**[02:39] miw**
The three stooges are combining nicely.
**[02:42] all**
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
**[02:46] sak**
Go!
**[02:47] tsu**
Oops!
**[02:47] yos**
Hey!
**[02:48] miw**
Um...
**[02:49] miw**
Hi-yah!
**[02:52] tsu**
Ow!
**[02:54] miw**
You're taking it too far.
**[02:56] miw**
But it's great that you put
the team in a good mood.
**[03:00] miw**
Do the same in tomorrow's match, too.
**[03:02] tsu**
Leave it to me.
**[03:04] oot**
Go!
**[03:05] tsu**
There!
**[03:06] oot**
Go!
**[03:06] tsu**
There!
**[03:07] oot**
Go!
**[03:14] zai**
You're goofing off too much!
**[03:15] sak**
It's fine. Tsukamoto's our
"good vibes" officer.
**[03:19] yos**
This is just another day for him.
**[03:22] oot**
Another!
**[03:23] tsu**
Oops.
**[03:28] cheer**
Dodge! Dodge! Dodge! Dodge! Dodge!
**[03:36] cheer**
He dodged it! Aoyama dodged it!
**[03:38] cheer**
He dodged it! Aoyama dodged it!
**[03:40] zai**
Captain, what are you doing?!
**[03:43] yos**
You didn't know, Zaizen?
His girlfriend's an Aoyama fan.
**[03:47] sak**
I've gained a newfound respect
for our captain.
**[03:52] (Flashback) gir**
Gaku-kun...
**[03:54] (Flashback) cap**
Yurippe...
**[03:57] (Flashback) gir**
Good luck!
**[03:59] (Flashback) ---**
Thanks!
**[04:01] (Flashback) cap**
Yuri—
***SIGN*** I ♥
Aoyama
**[04:05] (Flashback) girl**
I only love you, Gaku.
***SIGN*** I ♥
Aoyama
**[04:17] sak**
I didn't think he'd choose the life of
being an Aoyama fan with his girlfriend.
**[04:23] zai**
I see.
**[04:25] zai**
He's a member of the Aoyama fan club
*and* the soccer team captain.
**[04:29] cap**
I'll get going now.
**[04:31] girl**
Yeah, do your best!
***SIGN*** Curse
**[04:35] zai**
*This team is rotten to the core.*
**[04:42] all**
Good morning!
**[04:44] gua**
Yes, good morni—
**[04:49] cheer**
A-o-ya-ma! A-o-ya-ma!
**[04:52] cheer**
A-o-ya-ma! A-o-ya-ma!
**[04:56] cheer**
A-o-ya-ma! A-o-ya-ma!
**[04:56] yoos**
I totally didn't eat enough yesterday.
**[04:59] zai**
Are you kidding me?
**[05:01] sak**
Feed us our post-match meal again.
**[05:02] zai**
My treat again?
**[05:04] zai**
Get lost!
**[05:11] min**
I never thought the day would come
when the statue wouldn't be useless.
**[05:19] sak**
Today's field is grass! Woo!
**[05:22] yos**
Random diving!
**[05:24] zai**
We didn't come here to fool around!
**[05:27] mok**
I-I don't see Aoyama-kun anywhere!
**[05:29] zai**
Not again!
**[05:32] aoy**
Hi.
**[05:33] zai**
Damn you! Where have you been?!
**[05:35] cheer**
A-o-ya-ma! A-o-ya-ma!
**[05:39] cheer**
A-o-ya-ma! A-o-ya-ma!
**[05:42] cheer**
A-o-ya-ma! A-o-ya-ma!
**[05:44] cap**
I'm going now, Yurippe.
**[05:46] yur**
Okay. Good luck, Gaku.
**[05:51] cap**
Gather round!
**[05:51] zai**
Hell no! What's wrong with you?!
**[05:55] sak**
Four eyes! Do that thing you always do!
**[05:59] tsu**
Y-Yeah, I got it!
**[06:02] oot**
It's what we've all been waiting for!
**[06:06] tsu**
Ow!
**[06:08] kad**
I'm sorry! My ball flew over this way!
**[06:11] kad**
Are you okay?
**[06:14] kad**
Hi, I'm the captain of Minamida Fuzoku
High School, Kadomatsu Ryou.
**[06:28] kad**
Nice to meet you.
**[06:34] sak**
What's wrong, four eyes? You've gone pale.
**[06:37] yos**
Have you got a stomachache?
**[06:38] tsu**
What? Haha, no, I'm fine!
**[06:41] tsu**
Let's go warm up!
***SIGN*** Fujimi
***SIGN*** 1st
***SIGN*** 2nd
***SIGN*** Total
***SIGN*** Minamida Fuzoku
**[06:51] shig**
Don't let him through!
Force him to the wings!
**[06:54] cam**
Here it comes!
**[07:01] cam**
Aoyama's really something.
**[07:05] cam**
He's playing on a whole other level.
**[07:10] cam**
You know, in the high school soccer world,
**[07:14] cam**
Fujimi High School may very well
become the eye of the storm.
**[07:18] cam2**
I don't know about that.
**[07:19] cam2**
I've shot high school soccer
for 20 years now.
**[07:24] cam2**
And Aoyama, with his exceptional talent,
is certainly the real deal.
**[07:30] cam2**
But that's what's so damning.
**[07:32] cam2**
This isn't the kind of team
he should be playing for.
**[07:36] cam2**
As long as they win, it's all good.
**[07:37] cam2**
But what happens if they lose
a preliminary match like this?
**[07:41] cam2**
In this game, results are everything.
**[07:44] cam2**
You may have a world-beater,
but if the team loses, that's it.
**[07:48] cam2**
Even a player like Aoyama won't get picked
for the national team if they lose so early.
**[07:52] cam2**
And then, he won't have any choice
but to leave Fujimi High School.
**[07:56] cam2**
If this team wants to keep their dream alive,
they must keep winning for him.
**[08:01] cam2**
However, high school soccer crushes
thousands of similar dreams every year.
**[08:06] cam2**
It's no walk in the park.
**[08:07] kad**
Shige, pass it!
**[08:09] ---**
Gotcha!
**[08:11] kad**
*This team only has Aoyama going for it.*
**[08:14] kad**
*In my eyes, this team has a major weakness.*
**[08:19] ---**
*And that weakness...*
**[08:21] sak**
Don't give him any space, four eyes!
**[08:24] kad**
*...is you.*
**[08:36] cro**
What? He got into the box with ease!
**[08:47] guy4**
All right!
**[08:48] shig**
Nice pass, Kadomatsu!
**[08:50] guy9**
Now, we're tied!
**[08:52] sak**
What are you doing?!
Stop sleepwalking and play!
**[08:58] tsu**
Sorry...
**[09:01] sak**
Anyway, we're still in the first half.
**[09:03] yos**
L-Let's get back into the game.
**[09:18] guy**
Down the right wing again?
This time, he put it in himself!
**[09:23] sak**
Hey, four eyes!
**[09:26] kad**
Same old, same old, huh, Tsukamoto?
**[09:30] kad**
You haven't changed
one bit since the old days.
**[09:41] kad**
You really are just a statue.
**[09:49] yos**
*Did something happen between them?*
***SIGN*** Fujimi
***SIGN*** 1st
***SIGN*** 2nd
***SIGN*** Total
***SIGN*** Minamida Fuzoku
**[09:55] cam**
I guess the first half's ending 2-1.
**[10:00] cam2**
Minamida Fuzoku's parked the bus
ever since they took the lead.
**[10:06] cam2**
But yeah, looking at Fujimi High School...
**[10:09] cam2**
Their number 4 has destroyed their game plan.
**[10:11] sak**
Captain, where's four eyes?
**[10:14] cap**
He walked off toward the school,
so maybe he went to the bathroom?
**[10:38] tsu**
Dammit.
**[10:42] guy**
Aoyama's something else, but it looks
like we've got the better of Fujimi.
**[10:46] shig**
Thanks to that specky slow-mo.
**[10:51] guy**
I heard their number 4 was in the same team
as Kadomatsu-san in middle school.
**[10:55] shig**
I heard that, too.
**[10:56] shig**
He used to act all high and mighty
despite being younger,
**[10:59] shig**
so he got bullied constantly
until he graduated, right?
**[11:02] guy**
So that's why he's still terrified
of Kadomatsu-san.
**[11:06] shi**
Otherwise, he wouldn't be
such a liability in defense.
**[11:11] guy**
Well, after screwing up that much,
**[11:14] guy**
he probably won't play the second half.
**[11:22] sak**
Man, that idiot. Why didn't he tell us?
**[11:25] yos**
Right?
**[11:29] tsu**
* I need to get going,*
* or the second half will start without me.*
**[11:37] tsu**
Whoa! Aoyama, you were in here, too?!
**[11:39] tsu**
Don't tell me you've been here
the whole time...
**[11:43] aoy**
You use too much paper.
**[11:45] tsu**
*That's* the main talking point for you?!
**[11:47] tsu**
Wait, that means you heard everything!
**[11:50] tsu**
Not that it matters.
**[11:53] tsu**
I won't be playing the second half, anyway.
**[11:59] aoy**
Tsukamoto-san.
**[12:02] tsu**
What?
**[12:04] txt**
Team Aoyama Member and
Soccer Team Captain!
***SIGN*** Ishikawa Gaku
**[12:04] txt**
Tamura Yuri
***SIGN*** Thinks too highly of himself!
**[12:08] txt**
Kadomatsu
Ryou
**[12:11] cam**
The second half is starting!
**[12:21] tsu**
*Why didn't you sub me out, Miwa-chan?*
**[12:27] miw**
* It's true that you're currently*
* a burden on the team, but...*
**[12:34] (Flashback) sak**
Miwa-chan... No, Coach...
**[12:38] (Flashback) sak**
You can sub him out immediately
if we concede another goal from his wing,
**[12:42] (Flashback) sak**
but can you please keep four eyes
on the field for a bit longer?
**[12:47] (Flashback) sak**
Please!
**[12:52] miwa**
* Those two goof-offs always mess around,*
* but they asked me so seriously.*
**[12:57] miwa**
*I can't help but want to trust them.*
**[13:00] miwa**
*Now's the time for you to fight, Tsukamoto.*
**[13:03] miwa**
*For your friends. And for yourself.*
**[13:07] cam**
Why didn't Fujimi sub out the number 4?
**[13:11] cam2**
Beats me.
**[13:12] cam2**
What I do know is that,
**[13:14] cam2**
as long as he's out there,
**[13:19] cam2**
he'll keep being targeted
by the other team.
**[13:23] guy**
Another attack down the right wing!
**[13:28] kad**
*Tsukamoto.*
**[13:40] (Flashback) guy**
That's amazing, Tsukamoto!
**[13:41] (Flashback) guy**
You're not that good at soccer...
How come you can do stuff like that?
**[13:45] (Flashback) guy2**
That's so funny!
**[13:48] (Flashback) kad**
Talk about annoying.
**[14:01] (Flashback) kad**
What's the point of performing
keepie-uppies with your butt?
**[14:04] (Flashback) kad**
Are you stupid?
**[14:07] (Flashback) kad**
It's annoying, so never do it again.
**[14:11] (Flashback) kad**
Come on, guys. It's time for practice.
**[14:14] tsu**
* Kadomatsu-san was a second-year,*
* and as the star player,*
**[14:17] tsu**
*he was the center of the team.*
**[14:19] tsu**
* Ever since that day,*
* whenever I drew attention to myself,*
**[14:22] tsu**
*he'd fire a ball at me.*
**[14:25] tsu**
*After that happened a few times,*
**[14:28] tsu**
* I began to freeze up in front of him,*
* unable to move.*
**[14:34] (Flashback) kad**
You're so freaking boring.
You're like a statue.
**[14:41] tsu**
*Guys, I'm sorry for being such a burden.*
**[14:44] tsu**
*It's like I've traveled back in time!*
**[14:46] tsu**
*I can't move!*
**[14:48] guy**
Their number 4 let him run past
like he wasn't there again!
**[14:52] sak**
Not on my watch!
**[14:56] sak**
* If we know you're gonna ghost*
* past him every time, we can stop you!*
**[15:00] miw**
Nice, Sakai!
**[15:04] sak**
Don't let him go through you so easily.
**[15:06] sak**
I'll cover you, so be more aggressive.
**[15:11] tsu**
*Sakai, I'm sorry.*
**[15:17] sak**
Get your head in the game, four eyes.
**[15:21] sak**
You're Fujimi High School's
"good vibes" officer, after all.
**[15:30] cap**
Take it!
**[15:35] cam**
Shouldn't Aoyama be able
to create more chances?
**[15:39] cam2**
It's probably difficult right now.
**[15:42] cam**
Minamida Fuzoku is keeping
more players behind the ball.
**[15:47] cam2**
But, and I don't know how to explain this,
**[15:50] cam2**
it feels like he's waiting for something.
**[15:54] cam2**
At least, it does to me.
**[15:58] cam**
Either way, if they don't
make something happen,
**[16:01] cam**
Fujimi High School will lose.
***SIGN*** Fujimi
***SIGN*** 1st
***SIGN*** 2nd
***SIGN*** Total
***SIGN*** Minamida Fuzoku
**[16:03] cam**
Here of all places.
**[16:08] miwa**
Ten minutes left.
**[16:10] oot**
They're going down the right again!
**[16:16] tsu**
*Dammit! Move!*
**[16:18] tsu**
*You coward!*
**[16:23] sak**
I won't let you!
**[16:34] tsu**
Yocchi!
**[16:36] guy**
Sub out number 4!
**[16:38] guy**
He's useless!
**[16:40] sak**
Shut up!
**[16:43] sak**
Listen up, four eyes!
You have me and Yocchi behind you!
**[16:46] yosh**
We can't get going without you.
**[16:49] sak**
So stop running away!
**[16:51] sak**
Don't you realize
you're turning into a total bore?
**[16:55] tsu**
Sakai. Yocchi.
**[17:02] tsu**
*When I joined the soccer team here,*
**[17:06] tsu**
*I was still depressed.*
**[17:10] (Flashback) all**
You're so funny, Yoshioka!
**[17:14] (Flashback) sak**
Coming your way!
**[17:18] tsu**
* But thanks to you, I was able to*
* have fun playing soccer again.*
**[17:34] tsu**
*I'm no longer...*
**[17:38] guy**
They're holding on, but Fujimi
can't get out of their own half!
**[17:41] sak**
I won't let you shoot!
**[17:45] oot**
It was a feint!
**[17:47] ish**
Crap! Kadomatsu's free!
**[17:50] tsu**
*A statue? Piss off.*
**[17:54] tsu**
*That's...*
**[17:55] tsu**
...so freaking boring!
**[17:59] tsu**
I'm not the old me anymore!
**[18:03] sak**
Four eyes!
**[18:09] kad**
Bastard!
**[18:11] cap**
Nice, Tsukamoto!
**[18:13] cap**
Aoyama!
**[18:17] zai**
Let's go! Time to counterattack!
**[18:20] guy**
Aoyama's heading down the right!
**[18:23] guy**
Is he going to cross it?
**[18:25] guy**
Who's the target?
**[18:30] zai**
*I'm ready anytime, Aoyama!*
**[18:32] guy**
Huh? He's not passing?
**[18:34] guy**
No! He waited too long,
and now he's surrounded!
**[18:38] cam**
Are you really going to lose here?
**[18:45] tsu**
Aoyama!
**[18:47] guy**
Their number 4's making an overlapping run?!
**[18:53] (Flashback) aoy**
In the second half, try to come forward
when you spot the chance.
**[18:58] (Flashback) tsu**
No, like I just said...
**[19:01] (Flashback) aoy**
I'm going to send a pass out to you.
**[19:10] tsu**
*Aoyama...*
**[19:14] guy**
A rabona!
**[19:18] tsu**
*What am I supposed to do with this pass?!*
**[19:20] tsu**
* Should I use my foot?*
* No, it's definitely at head height.*
**[19:24] tsu**
*You idiot!*
**[19:26] tsu**
* I don't have the skills*
* to deal with this cross!*
**[19:30] aoy**
Tsukamoto-san.
**[19:31] aoy**
Please do that thing
you do to lift our spirits.
**[19:44] tsu**
There.
**[19:46] kad**
What?!
**[19:48] kad**
His butt?!
**[19:53] all**
Yeah!
**[20:01] tus**
I accidentally used my... Wait, what?!
**[20:04] guy**
What *was* that?!
**[20:06] guy**
He scored a goal with his rump!
**[20:08] guy**
Seriously? No way!
**[20:09] guy**
I've never seen such godly buttock skills!
**[20:14] tsu**
Just how I planned it!
**[20:16] tsu**
That's what the great Tsukamoto Jin can do!
**[20:20] tsu**
Phew!
**[20:22] sak**
You bastard, stealing the spotlight!
**[20:25] yos**
You made us worry, you little turd.
**[20:28] all**
Bam.
**[20:28] oot**
You did it!
**[20:30] ish**
Bam.
**[20:32] all**
Bam. Bam.
**[20:33] tsu**
I-I can't breathe...
**[20:35] zai**
Hey!
**[20:38] kad**
Don't get ahead of yourselves!
You only equalized!
**[20:45] cam**
In the end, it was an easy victory
for Fujimi High School.
***SIGN*** Fujimi
***SIGN*** 1st
***SIGN*** 2nd
***SIGN*** Total
***SIGN*** Minamida Fuzoku
**[20:50] cam2**
After drawing level,
they got two more goals to seal it.
**[20:54] cheer**
You were amazing again today! Good work!
**[20:54] cam**
Aoyama really is a cut above.
**[21:03] cam**
In the final minutes,
Minamida Fuzoku couldn't contain Aoyama.
**[21:09] cam2**
His team may have won,
but Aoyama was really terrible today.
**[21:15] cam**
Aoyama might have played for
that shot by the number 4.
**[21:21] cam**
In order to restore his confidence
after he'd made so many mistakes.
**[21:25] tsu**
Victory dance!
**[21:27] cam2**
If he loses in a place like this,
he'd be throwing his entire career away.
**[21:31] cam2**
If he really risked that much
just to make that one play,
**[21:37] cam2**
he's an idiot of epic proportions.
**[23:13] voi**
*It is* Weekly Gonz's *hugely popular manga,*
**[23:16] voi**
*with over 10 million volumes in print!*
**[23:19] voi**
* And now, "I'm Going to Save This World"*
* is getting an anime adaptation!*
**[23:32] oza**
Guess I'll base my new character on him.
***SIGN*** Next time
***SIGN*** Ozaki-kun Has His Pride