E8 - A Capital Incident!! Backstage Boss and the Terrifying Croquette?!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Ibuki
    This world really is crazy.
[00:06] Suiko
    You only just noticed that?
[00:09] Ibuki
    Ren's become completely unrecognizable!
[00:12] Ibuki
    Where'd he get that outfit?
[00:14] Ibuki
    And he's also calling himself "Mask, the Dark."
[00:18] Ibuki
    "The knight who gallops through the darkness."
[00:21] Suiko
    I'll admit his shoulder pads stick out too much.
[00:24] Suiko
    Can he even walk into a restroom with those?
[00:27] Ibuki
    That's the least of it!
[00:28] Suiko
    I'd say he's possessed by a Jammer,
[00:30] Suiko
    if only I had any conviction about that.
[00:33] Ibuki
    Yeah. He seems different from
    the Jammers we've defeated so far.
[00:38] Ibuki
    He's seriously distorted.
[00:40] Ibuki
    Well, Sendou is still
    the biggest distortion by far,
[00:44] Ibuki
    but Ren's role in all this
    is a major mystery, too.
[00:48] Suiko
    Speaking of mysteries, there's also
    that card I'd never seen before.
[00:51] Ibuki
    What card?
[00:52] Suiko
    You know, the one Shuka summoned,
    but then it didn't do anything.
[00:57] Ibuki
    It was called "Majesty Lord Blaster"
    or something, wasn't it?
[01:01] Suiko
    Sound familiar?
[01:03] Ibuki
    Never heard of it.
[01:04] Suiko
    Fat lot of good you are.
[01:06] Ibuki
    Excuse me?!
[01:07] Suiko
    I feel there's some hidden significance...
[01:11] Suiko
    ...to the shoulder pads.
[01:12] Ibuki
    What did I tell you?!
[01:14] Suiko
    One mystery after another...
[01:16] Suiko
    I can't predict what lies ahead.
[01:21] Ibuki
    Even so, if we wanna get back to our
    own world, we've gotta keep it going here.
[01:27] Suiko
    You're right about that.
SIGN    if 8 
     A Capital Incident!! Backstage Boss 
     and the Terrifying Croquette?!
[03:11] Emi
    The jungle gym!
[03:12] Shuka
    You're such a child, Emi.
[03:15] Emi
    That's not why!
[03:16] Emi
    They took this down around when
    I first started middle school.
[03:20] Emi
    It was supposedly too dangerous.
[03:22] Shuka
    Lost to the flow of time, huh?
[03:25] Emi
    Which means we must be somewhere during
    my grade school days. Makes me feel nostalgic.
[03:30] Emi
    I was so young back then...
[03:40] Ibuki
    Ow!
[03:42] Suiko
    Pathetic. Learn from a top idol's agility.
[03:45] Ibuki
    Oh, shut up!
[03:47] Suiko
    More importantly, are you okay?!
[03:49] Girl
    M-My glasses, my glasses...
[03:52] Ibuki
    W-Wait, aren't you...?
[03:54] Misaki
    Um, I'm so sorry!
[03:57] Misaki
    Are you hurt?!
[03:59] Suiko
    We're fine. Don't worry about us.
[04:01] Ibuki
    Speak for yourself!
[04:03] Misaki
    Thank goodness.
[04:04] Misaki
    But still, I'm sorry... I'm such a klutz.
[04:08] Misaki
    Again, my apologies!
[04:10] Suiko
    That girl...
[04:13] Suiko
    ...really is a klutz.
[04:15] Emi
    It could happen to anyone.
[04:17] Misaki
    Thank you!
[04:19] Shuka/Emi
    Take care!
[04:21] Ibuki
    You two materialized pretty quick.
[04:23] Shuka
    Don't talk about us like we're ghosts!
[04:27] Ibuki
    But it looks like you missed the fact
    that our distortion this time is that girl.
[04:33] Emi
    Her?!
[04:35] Ibuki
    She's Misaki Tokura.
[04:38] Ibuki
    Part of Sendou's crowd.
[04:40] Emi
    She and Aichi?!
[04:43] Suiko
    Ah, yes. I remember now!
[04:46] Ibuki
    Right. Misaki Tokura should be...
[04:50] Ibuki
    ...a surly, yo-yo-wielding she-devil in
    a long skirt, more like a gang boss's stooge.
[04:59] Ibuki
    And yet she's a nerd.
    That's undeniably the distortion here.
[05:04] Suiko
    I'd agree. At least, there's a high probability
    that she's been possessed by a Jammer.
[05:08] Shuka
    Hey, don't leave us behind!
[05:11] Emi
    She asked us the way to the library.
[05:15] Shuka
    How come she can't remember how to get there
    when she goes every day? That's strange.
[05:21] Suiko
    The library...
[05:22] Ibuki
    All right. Let's go after her.
[05:33] Emi
    What do you think, Shuka?
[05:35] Ibuki
    Do you see any Jammer marks on her?
[05:38] Shuka
    I can't see that well from here.
[05:44] Emi
    She's a Jammer?
[05:47] Emi
    I mean, she's just studying.
[05:49] Shuka
    Emi, our enemies are Jammers.
[05:52] Shuka
    We don't know what true nature
    is lurking just below the surface.
[05:56] Emi
    Good point.
[05:57] Shuka
    Let's go!
[05:58] Ibuki
    Wait!
[06:00] Emi
    Miss!
[06:01] Misaki
    Oh, you two again. Is something the matter?
[06:05] Emi
    Um, I think it's commendable
    that you're studying so hard.
[06:11] Shuka
    That's not why we're here!
[06:13] Shuka
    Show your true self, Jammer!
[06:17] Shuka
    Emi, let's transform!
[06:18] Emi
    R-Right!
[06:20] Suiko
    Wait, they're going to do it here?!
[06:23] Ibuki
    Cut it out, you dummies!
[06:25] Librarian
    Be quiet in the library!
[06:28] Emi
    Sorry!
[06:29] Shuka
    Let's do it, Emi!
[06:31] Shuka
    Card Fairy, Shuka!
[06:34] Emi
    Magical girl...
[06:39] Librarian
    Mind yourselves!
[06:41] Ibuki
    Don't transform in a place like this!
[06:43] Suiko
    What are you doing?!
[06:48] Librarian
    Do you know these kids?
[06:52] Misaki
    Well, yes...
[06:58] Shuka
    Jammer!
[06:59] Shuka
    Again, show your true self!
[07:03] Misaki
    What are you talking about?
[07:05] Misaki
    Oh, you're the two I bumped into earlier.
[07:08] Suiko
    You can drop the act now.
[07:11] Suiko
    We know you're a Jammer,
    a distortion in this world.
[07:16] Misaki
    I hear your words, but I still
    can't make any sense of them.
[07:20] Ibuki
    Hey, she doesn't seem like any of
    the Jammers we've encountered before.
[07:23] Emi
    T-True...
[07:24] Shuka
    But we have to confirm it either way!
[07:27] Misaki
    Excuse me.
[07:29] Misaki
    What do you mean by calling me a "bother"?
[07:33] Misaki
    I really have to study.
[07:36] Misaki
    You're the ones being a "bother" to me!
[07:39] Shuka
    Not "bother," "jammer"!
[07:41] Misaki
    I have to study hard now so that
    I can eventually expand the shop.
[07:46] Ibuki
    You're talking about Capital, right?
[07:49] Misaki
    Yes. My uncle raised me, and he runs the shop.
[07:53] Misaki
    I'll improve the shop, open up several more,
    and eventually make it a national franchise.
[08:01] Misaki
    Then he'll never worry about going hungry!
[08:06] Ibuki
    In other words, you want to help spread
    Cardfighting throughout the world, right?
[08:11] Ibuki
    Nothing wrong with that at all!
[08:13] Suiko
    Don't be swayed so easily!
[08:16] Ibuki
    But in this world, anyone who puts
    any thought into Cardfighting is precious!
[08:21] Misaki
    Um, may I go now?
[08:24] Misaki
    I'd like to get back to my studies.
[08:28] Ibuki
    This is way different from the eccentric
    behavior we've come across so far.
[08:32] Emi
    What do you think, Shuka?
[08:44] Ibuki
    This time, don't make a scene!
[08:46] Shuka
    We know!
[08:52] Misaki
    In 1582, during the Honnou-ji Incident...
[08:56] Misaki
    ...Nobunaga died while
    wearing strawberry underpants...
[09:06] Emi
    Bathroom break?
[09:09] Ibuki
    So she's working on memorizing history?
[09:12] Ibuki
    I knew something was off.
[09:14] Ibuki
    Memorizing should be a cinch for Tokura.
[09:18] Ibuki
    She has a photographic memory.
[09:21] Emi
    Photographic memory?
[09:23] Suiko
    Um, that's the astounding ability to recall
    everything one has ever seen or heard.
[09:30] Emi
    Wow...
[09:31] Shuka
    But if she doesn't have that,
    then she must be a Jammer!
[09:34] Emi
    She's back!
[09:40] Misaki
    Who wore strawberry underpants again...?
[09:43] Misaki
    Oh dear, it's already slipped my mind.
[09:46] Ibuki
    Hey, she forgot that already!
[09:49] Suiko
    She has a memory like a sieve.
[09:52] Misaki
    Who had banana underpants...
[09:54] Misaki
    Norisuke!
[09:57] Ibuki
    She's hopeless.
[10:00] Misaki
    But I can't give up!
[10:02] Shuka
    Emi, let's take her out already!
[10:06] Emi
    Let's wait and see for a bit longer.
SIGN    High School Math Made Easy
[10:16] All
    Stare...
[10:18] Ibuki
    Now she's getting a math reference book.
[10:21] Shuka
    She really does seem studious.
[10:24] Suiko
    Yes...
[10:35] Ibuki
    She's going inside Card Capital.
[10:42] Ibuki
    Even more studying?!
[10:44] Shuka
    Now that's determination!
[10:46] Suiko
    True, not many people could do that.
[10:51] Emi
    She's working so hard for someone else's sake...
[10:58] Suiko
    She isn't behaving at all like a Jammer.
[11:02] Ibuki
    Nope. She's just like a girl
    who's serious to a fault.
[11:06] Shuka
    But her personality has changed, right?
[11:09] Shuka
    It must be because of a Jammer!
[11:10] Emi
    But even if that's true...
    Even if Misaki is a Jammer...
[11:15] Emi
    ...would it be right of us to defeat her?
[11:18] Shuka
    Wh-What are you saying?!
[11:20] Shuka
    Jammers must be defeated!
[11:23] Emi
    But...
[11:24] Shuka
    Don't you want your brother back to normal?!
[11:28] Emi
    Of course I want Aichi back to normal!
[11:31] Emi
    But the Misaki of this world...
[11:34] Emi
    ...is just studying really hard!
[11:38] Emi
    She isn't interfering with anyone!
[11:41] Emi
    She's just working hard
    to give her uncle an easier life.
[11:45] Emi
    If we defeat her, all of
    that effort would be for nothing.
[11:48] Emi
    I'd feel so bad for her...
[11:50] Shuka
    So bad you don't mind your brother staying
    in there forever, and never seeing him again?!
[11:58] Emi
    All this time, I've done as you asked
    and banished the Jammers,
[12:03] Emi
    but will that really bring Aichi back?!
[12:05] Shuka
    Wha?! We've been fighting side by side!
[12:10] Emi
    I've made up my mind.
[12:11] Emi
    I'm going to support Misaki.
[12:14] Emi
    I'll help her study!
[12:17] Ibuki
    Hey!
[12:18] Shuka
    Emi, wait!
[12:40] Shin
    Damage...
[12:44] Shin
    I have to fight...
[12:49] Emi
    That was easy enough for me to say,
    but can I really help her out?
[12:54] Emi
    No, there must be something I can do!
[13:00] Emi
    Is anyone here?!
[13:03] Emi
    This is Card Capital?
[13:05] Emi
    The place where Aichi had
    Cardfights in the real history?
[13:11] Emi
    Anyone here?
[13:18] Emi
    Um, are you Misaki's uncle?
[13:21] Shin
    Yes, that's right.
[13:23] Shin
    Call me "Manager."
[13:26] Shin
    I haven't seen you before.
[13:28] Shin
    Are you a friend of Misaki?
[13:30] Emi
    I-I'm Emi Sendou.
[13:33] Shin
    Emi.
[13:35] Shin
    Oh, yes. You came at a good time.
[13:37] Shin
    If you don't mind, would you help me with this?
[13:40] Emi
    A deck case?
[13:42] Shin
    A croquette.
[13:44] Emi
    Croquette?!
[13:46] Emi
    Um, but I came to help Misaki study...
[13:49] Shin
    Oh, yes. Misaki is studying right now.
[13:54] Shin
    She's working hard to get smart so she can
    expand this shop, open up other ones,
[13:59] Shin
    and eventually have a nationwide franchise.
[14:04] Shin
    Then I'll never worry about going hungry,
    and just sell croquettes the rest of my life.
[14:10] Emi
    U-Um...
[14:12] Shin
    Except...
[14:14] Shin
    I don't wanna sell croquettes!
[14:17] Shin
    I wanna sell cards!
[14:21] Shin
    I wanna have Cardfights!
[14:23] Shin
    I wanna shuffle cards, not stir meat!
[14:26] Shin
    I'm sick of spending my days
    kneading croquette ingredients!
[14:30] Emi
    B-But Misaki said that
    she'll expand the shop for you.
[14:35] Shin
    I appreciate that, but why croquettes?!
    And why rectangular ones at that?!
[14:41] Shin
    I can't stand my own manual dexterity!
[14:44] Emi
    Oh, dear...
[14:45] Shin
    So, Emi, don't just stand there.
[14:50] Shin
    Mold this ground meat and potato
    into a rectangular shape,
[14:53] Shin
    and cover it generously with breadcrumbs.
[14:56] Shin
    Put your heart into it,
     and you'll have one croquette.
[15:03] Misaki
    Good evening.
[15:05] Misaki
    So your name is Emi, huh?
[15:08] Emi
    M-Misaki...
[15:11] Misaki
    Will you help me study?
[15:15] Misaki
    Or will you help Shin make croquettes?
[15:19] Misaki
    Which do you prefer?
[15:21] Emi
    Nooooo!
[15:38] Ibuki
    She didn't come back last night!
[15:42] Shuka
    Oh, Emi...
[15:45] Suiko
    That settles it.
[15:46] Suiko
    Misaki Tokura is a Jammer,
     and she took Emi hostage.
[15:51] Shuka
    Emi's being held hostage?!
[15:53] Shuka
    W-We have to rescue her!
[15:55] Ibuki
    All right! Our battleground is Card Capital!
[15:58] Ibuki
    I can't wait to put my skills to use!
[16:04] Ibuki
    M-Meat Capital?!
[16:08] Suiko
    This couldn't be more distorted.
[16:12] Shuka
    It smells delicious!
[16:13] Ibuki
    Shut up!
[16:14] Ibuki
    What the heck is "Meat Capital"?!
[16:16] Ibuki
    This is supposed to be Card Capital!
[16:18] Suiko
    Want to do an eating contest?
[16:20] Ibuki
    Of course not!
[16:22] Ibuki
    A-And here I thought
    I'd finally get to have a Cardfight!
[16:31] Misaki
    Welcome!
[16:33] Misaki
    Can I interest you in Meat Capital's
    specialty, Vanguard Croquettes?
[16:38] Ibuki
    Specialty, my foot! Those look like decks!
[16:42] Ibuki
    There's no way they taste good!
[16:47] Misaki
    It's good, right?
[16:49] Ibuki
    Okay, we'll call it a draw! But that aside...
[16:54] Ibuki
    You have a photographic memory.
[16:57] Ibuki
    Use that ability to have a Cardfight with me!
[17:01] Misaki
    I don't know what to tell you.
[17:03] Misaki
    I just want to expand Meat Capital
    and not worry about going hungry...
[17:10] Misaki
    I don't know anything about
    this Cardfight of yours.
[17:13] Ibuki
    What?!
[17:14] Shuka
    Enough of this back and forth!
[17:17] Shuka
    Just give us back Emi!
[17:19] Suiko
    Show your true colors, Jammer!
[17:22] Misaki
    I have no idea what you mean.
[17:32] Ibuki
    The backwards J!
[17:34] Shuka
    She really is the Jammer!
[17:40] Suiko
    Mask, the Shoulder Pads is here!
[17:42] Ren
    That'f Mafk, the Dark!
[17:48] Misaki
    N-Now what?!
[17:50] Misaki
    What's with that outfit?!
    Especially the shoulder pads!
[17:54] Suiko
    I'm curious about that, too!
[17:57] Ren
    You're good at feigning ignorance,
    I'll give you that.
[18:02] Ren
    But you can't fool me, Jammer.
[18:06] Ren
    You've blocked Misa-Q's recall so she can't
    use her amazing photographic memory,
[18:14] Ren
    and also hijacked her consciousness.
[18:19] Shuka
    She's in there, huh? Emi!
[18:25] Shin
    Oh, welcome.
[18:27] Emi
    Sorry. They're not ready yet.
[18:31] Shuka
    Emi!
[18:33] Shuka
    What are you talking about, Emi?!
    Come to your senses!
[18:36] Shuka
    Snap out of it!
[18:39] Emi
    Shuka? What's wrong?
[18:41] Emi
    What am I doing here?!
[18:43] Shuka
    I'll explain later! Come on, transform!
[18:46] Emi
    Right!
[18:52] Emi
    Magical Girl Emi!
[18:55] Shuka
    Card Fairy, Shuka!
[19:01] Emi/Shuka
    Together, we are Blaster Pair!
[19:07] Emi/Shuka
    "if," stand up!
[19:11] Misaki
    Jammer...
[19:18] Misaki
    Jammer!
[19:21] Suiko
    She finally revealed her true self!
[19:23] Ibuki
    Goddess of the Full Moon, Tsukuyomi!
[19:25] Shuka
    Emi, use this!
[19:29] Emi
    Nooo!
[19:30] Emi
    No more croquettes!
[19:33] Shuka
    Emi, get ahold of yourself!
[19:35] Ibuki
    Listen! The nerdy Misaki Tokura is a sham
    put on by the mind-hijacking Jammer!
[19:40] Ibuki
    Don't you want her back to her true self?!
[19:45] Emi
    Aichi...
[19:48] Emi
    Shuka! Give me a card!
[19:51] Shuka
    Emi, here's this week's final card!
[19:56] Emi
    Elemental Calling!
[19:58] Emi
    Realize!
[20:02] Emi
    Supreme Heavenly Battle Deity, Susanoo!
[20:07] Misaki
    Jammer!
[20:14] Misaki
    J-J-J-Jammm!
[20:18] Misaki
    JAMMERRR!
[20:33] Misaki
    Ow...
[20:35] Misaki
    Huh? What was I doing?
[20:40] Misaki
    What are these?
[20:44] Misaki
    Why am I dressed like this?!
[20:47] Man
    Hello?
[20:48] Man
    Excuse me, but could you tell me
    the way to the library?
[20:54] Misaki
    Follow this street to the end and turn right.
[20:58] Misaki
    At the intersection 48 meters ahead,
    turn left, and then, in 83 meters...
[21:00] Man
    I can't remember all that.
[21:02] Misaki
    Then I'll walk you there.
[21:06] Man
    You're a very kind young lady.
[21:08] Misaki
    This way.
[21:15] Ibuki
    Looks like she's back to normal.
[21:19] Suiko
    Uh huh.
[21:20] Emi
    So the real Misaki is nice, too.
[21:24] Shuka
    Isn't that great, Emi?
[21:25] Emi
    Yep!
[21:41] Ibuki
    It wasn't this distortion, either.
[21:44] Shuka
    But if we keep fixing
    each distortion, one by one,
[21:48] Shuka
    eventually all of history will be correct,
    and your brother will return!
[21:53] Shuka
    So let's keep at it, Emi!
[21:55] Emi
    Yeah...!
[23:45] Narrator
    The 30-second card intro segment!
[23:48] Narrator
    Today's featured card is Oracle Think Tank's
    Supreme Heavenly Battle Deity, Susanoo!
SIGN    Supreme Heavenly Battle Deity, Susanoo
[23:53] Narrator
    When you ride it, look at
    the top two cards of your deck
[23:56] Narrator
    and place whichever one you like at the top.
[23:58] Narrator
    Also, you can use its other skill
    to reveal the top two cards of your deck,
[24:02] Narrator
    add them to your hand, and activate
    any trigger effects they may have.
[24:05] Narrator
    If the opponent's Vanguard is at least grade 3,
    you get three cards instead of two!
[24:10] Narrator
    With this card, you too can
    "Ride The Vanguard"!
SIGN    Ride The Vanguard!
[24:16] Ibuki
    I never thought I'd see Misaki Tokura like that.
[24:20] Ibuki
    And in that mini-skirt uniform...
[24:21] Suiko
    You'd look great in a uniform, too.
    An adorable maid's outfit.
[24:25] Ibuki
    While for you, a school uniform is a stret--
[24:28] Suiko
    Well, next week will feature
    that man of the sea, Gouki Daimonji.
[24:31] Ibuki
    Gouki's heart is tormented by
    the innocent smile of the boy, Kamui.
[24:36] Suiko
    Torn between Cardfight and their
     forbidden love, which will they choose?
SIGN    if 9 
     Not Handsome?! Call Forth the Passion!!
[24:40] Suiko
    Wait, what is this? What does it mean?
[24:42] Ibuki
    That's too thrilling
    for early in the morning!