E1 - Merge?! Fall in Love with Fortune Bang Bang Chicken!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Arajin
    I'm Tomoshibi Arajin.
[00:05] Arajin
    My hobby is music. I play bass in a band.
[00:09] Arajin
    I'm single for a change. So why don't
    you come talk to me later?
[00:13] Yayako
    Arajin! Your Chu Chu gyoza is ready!
SIGN    Chu~ Chu~ 
    Chinese Restaurant
SIGN    Chu~ Chu~ Chinese Restaurant
[00:17] Arajin
    I told you I don't want gyoza for breakfast!
SIGN    One Shot to Live
[00:23] Boy A
    Ugh. I drank too much.
[00:26] Boy B
    Yeah, one too many of those shots.
[00:30] Boy B
    Huh?
[00:31] Boy A
    Up I go. An earthquake?
[00:34] Boy B
    Nah.
[00:39] Boy A
    You know that legend about
    a Honki Person being sealed away?
[00:42] Boy B
    Idiot. That old story?
[00:55] Narr
    "A Honki Person is one who finds
    a heart that does not flee."
[01:01] Narr
    In the age of samurai, there were those who
    threw away the sword, put down the helmet,
[01:06] Narr
    and adorned with nothing other than Honki,
[01:12] Narr
    devoted themselves fully
    to reaching the top.
[01:18] Narr
    Those are the ones known as...
[01:22] Narr
    the Honki People!
SIGN    #01  Merge?! Fall in Love with Fortune Bang Bang Chicken!
[03:04] Samaru
    You got some balls on you for a first-year.
[03:08] Samaru
    Yeah, Matakara?
[03:13] Teacher
    Here at our school, the Minato Kai
    and Siguma Squad teams
SIGN    Minato                    Kai
[03:18] Teacher
    are competing against
    each other for the top spot.
[03:25] Arajin
    Ugh.
[03:26] Teacher
    However, you don't seem
    interested in that sort of thing.
[03:29] Arajin
    Are there any cuties in class?
[03:32] Teacher
    Huh? Well, I guess so.
[03:36] Arajin
    Yes!
[03:39] Arajin
    Cuties in class?
[03:42] Arajin
    More like they're gonna kick my cute ass!
[03:44] Teacher
    I'd like to introduce you
    to your new classmate.
SIGN    Tomoshibi Arajin
[03:47] Arajin
    I-I'm Tomoshibi Arajin.
[03:49] Arajin
    It's a pleasure to meet you.
[03:54] Teacher
    Well, you can sit over there.
[03:56] Arajin
    Okay!
[03:59] Arajin
    There is! And she's the real thing!
[04:02] Arajin
    Like a gentle quail egg glistening
    in the chaos of a bowl of stir fry!
[04:07] Arajin
    Yes!
[04:08] teacher
    Okay, open your textbooks.
[04:11] Mahoro
    Tomoshibi-kun.
[04:14] Mahoro
    My name is Jin Mahoro.
[04:16] Mahoro
    Nice to meet you.
SIGN    Zing!
[04:17] Arajin
    Zing!
[04:19] Arajin
    N-Nice to meet you.
[04:22] Arajin
    Jin-san, right?
[04:24] Arajin
    So if we got married, my name
    would become Jin Arajin?
SIGN    Jin Arajin
[04:27] Arajin
    Hold on. You can read it forward or
    backwards and it's still Jin-Ara-Jin?
[04:30] Arajin
    Is this fate?!
[04:55] Mahoro
    Which way are you going?
[04:57] Arajin
    Huh?
[04:58] Mahoro
    If it's the same way,
    wanna walk home together?
[05:01] Arajin
    Huh?!
[05:03] Arajin
    Mm-hmm, mm-hmm!
[05:06] Mahoro
    I'll be waiting by the gates.
[05:12] Arajin
    Has it come? Has my spring finally come?
[05:16] Arajin
    I'll be right there!
[05:20] Arajin
    Ah! Close one!
[05:22] Arajin
    Huh?
[05:22] Zabu
    Well? Cozy enough for you here?
[05:26] Arajin
    Huh? Ah, I'm in a hurry, so—
[05:29] Komao
    Hmm?
[05:31] Zabu
    Don't be so cold, man.
[05:34] Komao
    Let's have some fun!
[05:36] Arajin
    Chi... Chi...
[05:38] Zabu
    Huh?
[05:39] Arajin
    Chinese pepper steak?!
[05:41] Komao
    Huh?
[05:42] Zabu
    Hey, punk! Get back here!
[05:44] Arajin
    Not a chance! I'm not messing with tho—
[05:49] Arajin
    Ow.
[05:51] Arajin
    H-He's huge!
[05:53] Komao
    Bingo!
[05:55] Zabu
    And you just happened
    to run into our big friend.
[06:02] Arajin
    I-I'm done for!
[06:07] Matakara
    Ara-chan?
[06:08] Arajin
    Huh?
[06:12] Matakara
    It is you, Ara-chan!
[06:15] Arajin
    And who might you be?
[06:16] Matakara
    It's Matakara! Asamine Matakara!
[06:21] Arajin
    Matakara?
[06:24] Arajin
    Matakara...
[06:26] Arajin
    Wait, that Matakara?!
[06:29] Matakara
    It's been so long! I think five years?
[06:32] Matakara
    So, did you move back here?
[06:34] Arajin
    Mm-hmm.
[06:40] Matakara
    This is my childhood buddy, Ara-chan.
[06:42] Matakara
    We trained together when we
    were little. To be Honki People.
[06:47] Matakara
    Ara-chan was super tough!
[06:50] Komao
    Huh! He sure doesn't look it. Right?
[06:54] Zabu
    But that's ancient history, right?
[06:56] Matakara
    Hey, we're going batting now.
    Why don't you come with?
[07:00] Arajin
    Sorry. I got something else.
[07:02] Komao
    Hmm?
[07:06] Arajin
    Oh, come on!
[07:07] Arajin
    Why'd I have to meet him?
    This town really is bad luck.
[07:11] Arajin
    But now isn't the time!
[07:16] Arajin
    Aww.
SIGN    Chu~ Chu~ Chinese Restaurant
SIGN    Open
[07:19] Yayako
    Chu Chu gyoza, for you chu!
[07:21] Boy B
    Whoa!
[07:22] Boy A
    Looks so good!
[07:23] Yayako
    It's chu-per delicious!
[07:25] Boy A & B
    Thank you for the food!
[07:27] Arajin
    I'm back.
[07:30] Yayako
    How was school? Meet any cute girls?
[07:33] Yayako
    Oh! You did! What's she like?
    What's she like?
[07:36] Arajin
    She was like... a quail egg.
[07:39] Yayako
    Oh! Almost time for Brimple!
[07:41] Yayako
    Keep an eye on things for me!
[07:42] Customer
    Hey, sonny! One miso liver.
SIGN    Bride of the Temple
[07:44] Arajin
    Damn old hag!
[07:50] Boy B
    Still, I had no clue that was
    sealed in the shrine!
[07:54] Arajin
    Hmm?
[07:59] Marito
    Oh yeah?
[08:03] Marito
    You lost to Matakara-kun? Hmm.
[08:08] Samaru
    I'm real sorry, Marito-san.
[08:10] Samaru
    But actually, that guy...
[08:15] (Flashback) Matakara
    Thank you very much!
[08:18] Samaru
    ...seems like a super nice dude.
[08:21] Marito
    What, is that a teenage crush?
[08:23] Samaru
    Yeah, I guess you're—
[08:31] Marito
    I majorly love these Maji Kebabs!
[08:35] Kenchin
    No God or Buddha can stand before love!
[08:38] Nun
    Kenchin-sama!
[08:43] Arajin
    Why?
[08:45] Arajin
    Why him again?
[08:55] Yayako
    Oh no!
[08:56] Yayako
    Kenchin-sama!
[08:59] Arajin
    Shut up, you old hag!
SIGN    Nice To Beat You
[09:01] Teacher
    As you can see, during
    the Warring States period,
[09:04] Teacher
    even family and friends fought against
    each other without reservation.
[09:07] Teacher
    For example, Sagara Yoshihi
    and Kai Soun in Kyushu.
[09:15] (Flashback) Yayako
    Put some love in your bang bang chicken!
[09:17] Arajin
    Damn hag.
[09:19] Mahoro
    That's so cute.
[09:20] Arajin
    Huh?
[09:31] Arajin
    You aren't going to class?
[09:35] Mahoro
    I guess I'm skipping.
[09:36] Arajin
    Ooh!
[09:38] Arajin
    Sorry about yesterday. I got
    cornered by some weird guys.
[09:42] Mahoro
    It's okay. But hey, is it okay if...
[09:46] Mahoro
    you and I become friends?
[09:48] Arajin
    Of course! I also...
[09:50] Arajin
    I wanted to become friends
    with you too, Jin-san.
[09:54] Mahoro
    You can call me Mahoro.
[09:56] Mahoro
    Arajin-kun.
[09:58] Arajin
    First-name-calling hype!
[10:01] Mahoro
    Are you free on Saturday?
[10:02] Arajin
    Huh?!
[10:04] Arajin
    Um... does that mean for... a da—
[10:08] Matakara
    Ara-chan!
[10:12] Arajin
    Jeez.
[10:16] Zabu
    That dude.
[10:17] Zabu
    Is he really that tough?
[10:19] Zabu
    He didn't look that way to me.
[10:22] Matakara
    Ara-chan is.
[10:24] Matakara
    He's strong, brave, cool...
[10:28] Matakara
    I really admire him.
[10:32] Zabu
    I don't get it.
[10:35] Komao
    Oh!
[10:37] Zabu
    Huh?
[10:37] Komao
    Yo, isn't that Mahoro?
[10:40] Komao
    Oh, crap. Better tell Matakara about this.
[10:44] Zabu
    Weekend's coming up. We're gonna see
    the old Ichi High tradition.
[10:48] Arajin
    These are such great colors!
[10:50] Arajin
    But do I pick color over carvability?
[10:54] Arajin
    Oh! It's a legendary chicken-blood stone!
[10:57] Arajin
    This color, this texture... the real thing!
[11:04] Komao
    What? Hell no!
[11:06] Zabu
    I'm real sorry about before.
[11:09] Arajin
    That's okay.
[11:10] Zabu
    Hey, let's try to get along.
[11:13] Komao
    What? Again?
[11:14] Komao
    That's dirty, man!
[11:16] Zabu
    Clean and dirty don't mean shit in battle.
[11:19] Zabu
    Right, Ara-chan?
[11:21] Arajin
    Huh?
[11:28] Komao
    Oh yeah, oh yeah? That'll finish you—
[11:30] Komao
    Oh?
[11:36] Arajin
    Yes!
[11:38] NG 1
    You're really good, kid. You go to Ichizu?
[11:42] NG 1
    From what I can see, it doesn't look
    like you're in Minato or Siguma.
[11:47] Arajin
    Of course not! I have
    nothing to do with them!
[11:52] NG 3
    And you waltz in here to play
    like you own the place?
[11:55] NG 2
    You think you can just
    piss all over our turf?
[11:57] Arajin
    I-I just transferred
    from a different school...
[12:01] Arajin
    Please excuse me!
[12:02] NG 1
    You're our 100th catch. Congrats.
[12:07] NG 1
    Hey! Get your ass back here!
[12:09] NG 3
    Punk!
[12:10] NG 1
    You're leaving your briefs too!
[12:13] Zabu
    I knew he wasn't that tough.
[12:21] NG 3
    Hold it, boxer boy!
[12:26] NG 1
    Stop right there!
[12:28] Employee
    Welcome in!
[12:30] Employee
    Which girl would you prefer?
[12:33] Teacher
    Well...
[12:36] Teacher
    I'll take Jasmine-chan.
[12:37] Employee
    Great! Customer for Jasmine-chan!
[12:41] Teacher
    I've never been to
    this kind of place before.
[12:43] Teacher
    Oh! Is it all right if I call you
    Jasmine-chan?
[12:50] NG 1
    There he is! Stop right there!
[12:52] NG 2&3
    Don't move! Hey!
[12:57] NG 2
    Come out, damn it!
[12:59] NG 1
    Open up!
[13:00] Arajin
    What is their problem?!
[13:06] Arajin
    Huh?
[13:12] Arajin
    Stay back!
[13:14] NG 1
    What're you gonna do with a toy like that?!
[13:19] Arajin
    I said stay back!
[13:20] NG 3
    You're dead meat.
[13:28] Arajin
    Croak?
[13:32] NG 2
    Eww.
[13:33] NG 1
    That's just sick.
[13:35] NG 1
    Hey, wait up!
[13:44] Arajin
    Damn, my head hurts.
[13:46] Arajin
    The hell is this?
[13:49] Arajin
    Huh?
[14:10] Senya
    I am Senya, the Majin.
[14:13] Senya
    Now, tell me your wish!
[14:20] Senya
    Wow, you look like a wimp.
[14:23] Senya
    Is this another miss?
[14:25] Arajin
    Huh?
[14:27] Arajin
    Ma-Majin?
SIGN    Honki Shrine
[14:29] Senya
    Yeah. You know how you spell the
    word "Honki" but can read it as "Maji"?
[14:33] Senya
    If you spell out Honki People,
    you can read it Ma-ji-n.
SIGN    Honki People
SIGN    Ma
SIGN    ji
SIGN    n
[14:37] Senya
    Get it?
[14:40] Arajin
    Honki People? Like from the legends?
[14:44] Senya
    Yeah! Pretty much.
[14:46] Senya
    Now, tell me what you wish for!
[14:50] Arajin
    What I... wish for?
[14:54] Senya
    You want wealth? Honor? Power?!
[15:00] Arajin
    I want to lose my virginity.
[15:03] Arajin
    I guess.
[15:06] Senya
    Sure, that works! You are a boy, after all.
[15:10] Arajin
    What? Seriously?
[15:11] Senya
    So whaddya say? Wanna merge with this guy?
[15:16] Arajin
    Merge? Merge?! Shut the hell up!
[15:18] Arajin
    With the likes of you? Hell no!
[15:22] Arajin
    Um, are you able to see him?
[15:28] Zabu
    So then he took off in nothing but underwear.
[15:32] Komao
    It still cracks me up to think about it!
[15:34] Zabu
    Yeah, it was a whole new level of pathetic.
[15:37] Matakara
    Well, Ara-chan is a real gentle guy.
[15:41] Matakara
    He actually hates fighting, you know.
[15:44] Matakara
    I guess he hasn't changed much.
[15:47] Zabu
    Yeah, I doubt that.
SIGN    High School 1st Year
SIGN    Young People's "Now" !
[15:50] HS 1 boy 1
    Huh? Hoodlums are so boring.
[15:52] HS 1 boy 2
    Real lame.
SIGN    High School 3rd Year
[15:54] HS 3 girl
    I just wanna make easy money.
[15:56] Senya
    And the end is near, huh.
[15:58] Senya
    Just get your crap together. Right?
SIGN    Imaginary Friend
SIGN    As understood in psychology and psychiatry, 
    this refers to a fictional companion. It exists only 
    within the subject's imagination. While most of 
    such friends appear in human form, some are 
    imagined as non-human figures such as 
    animals or fairies.
    The friend may speak to the subject or play
    with the subject and serves as a kind of 
    emotional support.
[16:02] Arajin
    Could this be it?
SIGN    Mahoro
[16:11] Senya
    Is that maybe the name of a girl you like?
[16:15] Senya
    You're giving that to her?
[16:17] Senya
    Why stone? Wouldn't paper
    be better? Ya think?
[16:21] Arajin
    That wouldn't get my message across!
[16:24] Arajin
    This will protect her for eternity.
    A love forever stone.
[16:29] Arajin
    Basically, it will reincarnate
    Tomoshibi Arajin as Jin Arajin.
[16:33] Arajin
    It is the embodiment of me!
[16:35] Senya
    Sorry. No clue what you mean.
[16:45] Yayako
    Ooh, that's so neat! What's it for?
[16:48] Yayako
    A date?
[16:49] Arajin
    N-N-N-No... No way!
[16:52] Yayako
    It is a date!
SIGN    Chu~ Chu~ 
    Chinese Restaurant
SIGN    Chu~ Chu~ Chinese Restaurant
[16:55] Yayako
    It's your first date ever!
    There's nothing to be ashamed about!
[16:59] Yayako
    Get as far as you can with her!
[17:01] Arajin
    Shut UP you old hag!
[17:09] Senya
    Don't try to talk to me.
    My entire life is on the line!
[17:13] Senya
    Sure, sure.
[17:14] Mahoro
    Arajin-kun!
[17:20] Mahoro
    Did you wait long?
[17:21] Arajin
    No, no!
[17:22] Mahoro
    Weren't you just talking to someone?
[17:25] Arajin
    Just mumbling to myself!
[17:29] Mahoro
    Okay, let's go.
[17:33] Couple (I) Man
    So what next?
[17:34] Couple (I) Woman
    I want a parfait!
[17:38] Arajin
    Is something wrong?
[17:39] Mahoro
    No. Isn't this good?
[17:42] Arajin
    Sure is!
[17:43] Senya
    Aren't you gonna give her the rock? Hey.
[17:46] Arajin
    Shut up!
[17:47] Arajin
    Ah...
[17:49] Arajin
    Um, never mind that!
[18:02] Mahoro
    I'm really so happy
[18:05] Mahoro
    that you transferred
    to my school, Arajin-kun.
[18:11] Senya
    It's now! Now! Go, boy! Make your damn move!
[18:14] Senya
    If you don't go now, you never will!
[18:17] Senya
    Don't you dare chicken out!
[18:19] Arajin
    I'll show you then!
[18:21] Senya
    Right on!
[18:25] Mahoro
    I just heard something weird.
[18:28] Arajin
    Huh?
[18:31] Mahoro
    Are you feeling sick?
[18:33] Arajin
    No... I just...
[18:46] Arajin
    This happens to me every single time.
[18:51] Arajin
    Um, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
[18:57] Mahoro
    Well, at least you made it in time.
[19:03] Arajin
    Mahoro-chan!
[19:11] Arajin
    Here!
[19:13] Mahoro
    What is that stone?
[19:16] Mahoro
    Ma ho ro?
[19:18] Mahoro
    Eww.
[19:21] Arajin
    It's a love forever stone.
[19:28] Arajin
    Listen... Jin-san, I...
[19:31] Arajin
    Mahoro-chan, I really... li—
[19:50] Outa
    We're here.
[19:51] Marito
    Ungh...
[19:53] Arajin
    Um, may I ask who you are?
[19:56] Marito
    Hmm. I'm the
[19:59] Marito
    head of Siguma Squad.
[20:03] Marito
    Jin Marito.
[20:07] Arajin
    Ah, right! Well done, sir!
[20:10] Arajin
    Let's get going, Mahoro-chan.
[20:14] Mahoro
    Arajin-kun.
[20:17] Arajin
    Oh... huh?
[20:18] Mahoro
    Will you fight for me?
[20:21] Arajin
    Ho— Wow!
[20:25] Marito
    You've got some nerve
[20:28] Marito
    putting your hands on my little sister.
[20:31] Arajin
    Little sister?!
[20:35] Matakara
    What's up, bringing me way out here?
[20:38] Zabu
    Check it out.
[20:43] Matakara
    Ara-chan?!
[20:45] Zabu
    Think he'll make it out alive?
[20:54] Zabu
    Ah... wait!
[21:02] Marito
    Get your ass up!
[21:05] Arajin
    I'm dead. He's literally going to kill me.
[21:08] Marito
    Get up, punk!
[21:10] Marito
    Get up and let's see you make Mahoro happy!
[21:12] Mahoro
    My brother is losing it all
    because of me? He's so cool!
[21:17] Sigma F
    That's the 35th victim.
[21:20] Sigma G
    Poor guy.
[21:22] Senya
    No good this time either, huh.
[21:24] Senya
    Even if I merged with this kid,
[21:28] Senya
    I would never be able to meet... that one.
[21:35] Arajin
    You really think I'm gonna... die now?
[21:40] Arajin
    Right... here?
[21:43] Arajin
    Like... this?
[21:48] Senya
    Now say it! What do you truly wish for?
[21:54] Arajin
    My one...
[21:59] Arajin
    wish is...
[22:03] Arajin
    to lose my virginity!
[22:08] Senya
    Bucchigiri!
[22:12] Marito
    Whoa!
SIGN    Honki
SIGN    Wanna Take You On!
SIGN    The Chu Chu Chinese Pepper Steak Train!
[24:05] Arajin
    Bucchigi-chu again next week!