# E1 - Sophist
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GVWU0PZVZ/sophist)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:10] Aki**
Looking good.
**[00:11] Aki**
Almost got him...
***SIGN*** Opponent has lost connection.
Please remain on this screen until result is determined.
**[00:16] Aki**
Damn it!
**[00:17] Aki**
They always disconnect the
minute I start dominating.
**[00:20] Aki**
I'll never move up the
leaderboard like this.
**[00:22] Aki**
It might be time to stop playing this game.
***SIGN*** Konpeito
**[00:36] Aki**
Time for school, I guess.
***SIGN*** A Day's Worth of Veggies
**[00:59] Aki**
"Key"—perfect name for a latchkey kid.
**[01:01] Aki**
Right?
**[01:07] Aki**
*I want to play a game.*
**[01:09] Aki**
*A game to get immersed in, for however long.*
**[01:12] Aki**
*A game to escape this reality of mine.*
**[01:15] A**
Say, isn't that Akira?
**[01:17] A**
Wow. He's even gaming on the walk to school.
**[01:20] A**
He's at it all day *at* school, too.
**[01:23] A**
He never stops during classes or breaks.
**[01:25] B**
But he's always top of the class
on the standardized tests, right?
**[01:29] Aki**
*Getting good grades is easy.*
**[01:31] Aki**
*Formulas, grammar, vocabulary...*
**[01:33] Aki**
* They're just testing how*
* much you can memorize.*
**[01:38] A**
Point is, he's a total weirdo!
**[01:40] B**
Hush! He'll hear you!
**[01:42] Aki**
*I agree with her, honestly.*
**[01:45] Aki**
* They say exams are a battlefield,*
* but they're barely even a competition for me.*
**[01:49] Aki**
*I can't engage with them at all.*
**[01:51] Aki**
*Receive a variety of objectives,*
**[01:54] Aki**
* then beat the enemies*
* or clear the obstacles.*
**[01:56] Aki**
* Games like that are the only*
* things I can really engage with.*
**[02:01] Aki**
* That's why I find my current*
* reality so very bor—*
**[02:10] Driver**
What's your problem, asshole?!
**[02:38] Aki**
*He's only after me?*
**[02:41] Aki**
*What's this guy's problem?*
**[02:42] Aki**
*Should I call the police?*
**[02:44] Aki**
*But I can't do that while I'm fleeing.*
**[02:45] Aki**
*He'll catch me before I shake him off.*
**[02:48] Aki**
*What do I do?*
**[02:49] Aki**
*I need a counter-strategy.*
**[02:52] Aki**
*A counter-strategy... almost like a game.*
**[02:56] Aki**
*That's right.*
**[02:57] Aki**
*The loss condition is, "He catches me."*
**[03:00] Aki**
*And the win condition...*
**[03:02] Aki**
*That's it.*
**[03:03] Aki**
* If I treat it like a game,*
* I'll know just what to do!*
**[03:07] Aki**
* That building would give*
* me the terrain advantage.*
**[03:19] Aki**
* This building was abandoned*
* in the middle of demolition.*
**[03:22] Aki**
*It's been left to the elements, crumbling.*
**[03:24] Aki**
*For a big brute like him...*
**[03:27] Aki**
*It'll take time to make his way up.*
**[03:38] Aki**
*He just jumped it?!*
**[03:39] Aki**
*What a freak.*
**[03:41] Aki**
* I'd better treat this*
* scenario like survival horror.*
**[03:43] Aki**
*I have to anticipate his next move.*
**[03:55] Aki**
Hey! Freak!
**[04:14] Aki**
I did it!
**[04:21] Aki**
He's still not down?!
**[04:26] Aki**
He's coming?
**[04:28] Aki**
With jumping power like his, he'll definitely—
**[04:36] Aki**
*attempt* to jump his way up.
**[04:44] Aki**
With sufficient planning and preparation,
**[04:47] Aki**
any game can be beaten.
**[04:49] Mion**
Congratulations to you, Akira Shiroyanagi!
**[04:52] Mion**
Who'd have believed you'd beat
my little pet and survive?
**[04:59] Aki**
*Who is this woman?*
**[05:01] Aki**
*How long has she—*
**[05:03] Mion**
But I'm sorry to say...
**[05:05] Mion**
Even though you worked so hard...
**[05:08] Mion**
This is what they call...
**[05:09] Mion**
An unwinnable fight.
**[05:20] Aki**
I couldn't... anticipate...
**[05:24] Mion**
What's that?
**[05:25] Aki**
If it's an unwinnable fight...
**[05:27] Aki**
That means... it's not over?
**[05:31] Mion**
Yes.
**[05:32] Mion**
The fun's just getting started,
my sweet prince.
**[05:37] Aki**
*If the game's not over... then...*
**[05:40] Aki**
*That's okay.*
**[05:41] Aki**
*I'll win next time.*
**[05:45] Aki**
*I want to play a game.*
**[05:47] Aki**
*A game to escape this boring reality.*
***SIGN*** Episode 1 "Sophist"
**[07:41] Aki**
*Where am I?*
**[07:43] Aki**
Handcuffs?
**[07:45] Aki**
Wait, she shot m—
**[07:47] Aki**
I'm fine?
**[07:53] Mion**
Ladies and gentlemen!
**[07:57] Mion**
Hi there!
**[07:58] Mion**
It's a pleasure to meet you all!
**[08:00] Mion**
I'll be serving as your navigator!
**[08:03] Mion**
The beautiful magician, Mion!
**[08:07] Aki**
It's her!
**[08:08] Mion**
Let me start with my congratulations.
**[08:11] Mion**
You've been chosen to serve as our
project's esteemed focus group.
**[08:15] Mion**
I will now explain how it works, with a
few marvelous illusions along the way!
**[08:19] Mion**
First!
**[08:21] Mion**
Everyone here has already been
removed from the national registry.
**[08:26] Mion**
That's right! You're dead
in the eyes of society!
**[08:29] Yuu**
Dead?!
**[08:30] Mion**
So it goes without saying that you
have no rights and no freedom,
**[08:34] Mion**
except what you're allowed
by our rules and directives!
**[08:39] Mion**
Second!
**[08:40] Man**
Hey!
**[08:42] Man**
Let's cut the bullshit already!
**[08:45] Mion**
I *do* appreciate your kind assistance.
**[08:58] Mion**
Behold!
**[08:59] Mion**
That's my bullet-catching trick!
**[09:03] Aki**
So she really can...
**[09:06] Mion**
As you can see, I have the
"turn your hand into a cannon" ability!
**[09:10] Mion**
And if fact, you've all been
gifted similar abilities!
**[09:15] Mion**
In other words, you're our
ability testing focus group!
**[09:22] Mion**
We've taken everything from you
**[09:24] Mion**
and given you a unique ability in exchange!
**[09:27] Mion**
Please use it to its fullest to run the
program we've arranged to completion!
**[09:30] Mion**
But if we determine you useless
for providing product feedback,
**[09:33] Mion**
we'll have to ask you to leave!
**[09:35] Mion**
So *do* take this seriously!
**[09:38] Mion**
Now I'll explain the program's rules.
**[09:41] Mion**
First, those cuffs you're wearing...
**[09:43] Mion**
They both restrict your movement and
prevent the use of your abilities.
**[09:47] Mion**
When the red lights turn green,
**[09:49] Mion**
it means they'll unlock in five seconds,
**[09:51] Mion**
and you can use your abilities then.
**[09:54] Mion**
You won't be penalized
for any harm or death
**[09:58] Mion**
your abilities inflict on
other focus group members.
**[10:01] Mion**
This concludes the program's rules.
**[10:03] Mion**
Any questions? Anyone?
**[10:06] Mion**
I'm under the impression
you enjoy games like this.
**[10:12] Mion**
Any questions from you?
**[10:14] Mion**
Class Representative Ringo Tatara?
**[10:17] Mion**
Won't you be the first with your hand up,
the way you always are at school?
**[10:22] Mion**
Madoka Kirisaki...
**[10:24] Mion**
You're such a delinquent,
**[10:25] Mion**
and this is a lot like a school lecture,
so I guess you might be struggling.
**[10:29] Mion**
I know absolutely everything,
so don't be shy!
**[10:33] Kuma**
I have a question, then.
**[10:35] Mion**
Shin Kumagiri?
**[10:37] Mion**
Ask away!
**[10:38] Kuma**
Who are you people?
**[10:40] Kuma**
What is this place?
**[10:41] Kuma**
Why are you doing this?
**[10:43] Mion**
I'm *so* happy you asked, but unfortunately...
**[10:46] Mion**
None of those are questions I can answer!
**[10:50] Kuma**
Then I'll ask one more.
**[10:52] Kuma**
Why did you kill that man?
**[10:54] Kuma**
With power like yours,
**[10:55] Kuma**
you could have easily
stopped him non-fatally.
**[10:58] Mion**
I know all about you, too,
**[11:01] Mion**
so I know that you're a really good person.
**[11:04] Mion**
But I killed that man because
I'm a really *bad* person.
**[11:07] Mion**
Does that answer your question?
**[11:08] Kuma**
You—
**[11:10] Rin**
It's thoroughly understandable.
**[11:12] Rin**
We're all dead already anyway.
**[11:15] Rin**
I'd bet you had that little magic
show planned from the start...
**[11:18] Rin**
To make a point.
**[11:20] Mion**
My, you're a clever one.
**[11:24] Mion**
Okay! Any other questions?
**[11:28] Yuu**
Um... I have a question.
**[11:30] Mion**
Yuuri Amagake!
**[11:32] Mion**
Go right ahead!
**[11:33] Yuu**
No one else is asking,
so I guess I should...
**[11:37] Yuu**
Why did you choose us?
**[11:40] Yuu**
You seem to have learned all about us.
**[11:43] Yuu**
What were the criteria?
**[11:45] Mion**
What a great question!
**[11:47] Mion**
But you'll find the answer
*pretty* disappointing...
**[11:50] Mion**
We chose you...
**[11:52] Mion**
entirely at random.
**[11:55] Mion**
That should take a weight
off your mind, right?
**[11:57] Mion**
You basically won the lottery!
**[11:58] Mion**
Think of it like a freak
traffic accident that—
**[12:01] Yang**
Miss Mion!
**[12:02] Yang**
I think it's about time.
**[12:04] Mion**
Oh, Yang...
**[12:05] Mion**
Is it time already?
**[12:07] Mion**
The Q&A is over, then.
**[12:09] Yang**
The first program will be one-on-one.
**[12:12] Yang**
A series of simple duels.
**[12:14] Yang**
I'll lead you all to your rooms now.
**[12:17] Yang**
You can take that time to learn
and practice your abilities.
**[12:23] Mion**
And one last reminder...
**[12:27] Mion**
Consider how you should
approach this very carefully.
***SIGN*** Absent
***SIGN*** Akira Shiroyanagi
***SIGN*** Present
**[12:35] Aki**
This really is going like a game, I guess.
**[12:42] Aki**
* I'm curious about who these people*
* are, what they're after,*
***SIGN*** Konpeito
**[12:45] Aki**
*and various other things.*
***SIGN*** This room contains a bed, a toilet,
a refrigerator, objects your ability
applies to, ten sheets of paper,
and pencils. One-on-one battles end
through loss of consciousness, death, or
admittance of defeat. Your ability is written
on a separate sheet of paper (enclosed).
**[12:48] Aki**
*But the most important thing right now*
***SIGN*** This room contains a bed, a toilet,
a refrigerator, objects your ability
applies to, ten sheets of paper,
and pencils. One-on-one battles end
through loss of consciousness, death, or
admittance of defeat. Your ability is written
on a separate sheet of paper (enclosed).
**[12:52] Aki**
*is to find out my ability.*
**[12:56] Aki**
* Receive your conditions and solve*
* the subsequent puzzles you face.*
**[13:00] Aki**
* The game's difficulty will vastly change*
* based on the conditions presented.*
***SIGN*** Your
***SIGN*** Your
**[13:09] Aki**
What in the world?
**[13:12] Mion**
Oh, Akira...
**[13:14] Yang**
That same boy again?
**[13:16] Mion**
Oh, yes...
**[13:18] Mion**
He's my personal favorite.
**[13:20] Aki**
*What in the world is this ability?*
**[13:24] Aki**
*How am I supposed to use it?*
***SIGN*** Konpeito
**[13:30] Aki**
Konpeito!
**[13:38] Aki**
The sweetness! It stimulates the brain!
**[13:41] Aki**
I guess they really do know me inside and out.
**[13:47] Aki**
So much about this feels off...
**[13:50] Aki**
That woman's actions, most of all.
**[13:52] Aki**
Yes, it's almost like she...
***SIGN*** Time Until One-on-One 18:41:37
**[13:56] Aki**
Wh-What was that?!
**[13:58] Aki**
*Someone testing their ability?*
**[14:02] Aki**
*That vibration and sound...*
**[14:05] Aki**
* What if someone with a powerful*
* ability tries to kill me?*
**[14:09] Aki**
*How could I use my ability to counter?*
**[14:12] Aki**
*That's right...*
***SIGN*** No penalty for harm or death
**[14:14] Aki**
* The things she said...*
* The rules laid out...*
**[14:16] Aki**
*From the start...*
**[14:19] Aki**
*She's been baiting us into killing each other.*
**[14:24] Aki**
*An ability focus group? That's absurd.*
**[14:28] Aki**
*But interesting.*
**[14:30] Aki**
*Maybe I'll give it my best shot.*
**[14:34] Mion**
It's really coming together, Yang.
**[14:36] Mion**
Such an excellent group.
**[14:38] Mion**
They'll realize it soon, too...
**[14:41] Mion**
How they should behave, when all
they have is their ability.
**[14:46] Mion**
Now, let's begin!
**[14:49] Mion**
First program!
**[14:50] Mion**
One-on-one!
**[14:58] Kiri**
Heya.
**[14:59] Kiri**
Surprised you too, huh?
**[15:02] Kiri**
I just don't get it.
**[15:04] Aki**
*Is he my opponent?*
**[15:06] Kiri**
I always hated school.
**[15:10] Aki**
It's him... the one who
struggles with school stuff.
**[15:12] Kiri**
But it is what it is.
**[15:14] Kiri**
Just surrender the second
the battle starts, kid.
**[15:18] Kiri**
Got it?
**[15:19] Kiri**
I'm gonna win anyway.
**[15:21] Kiri**
That'll save me time and
you a world of pain.
**[15:25] Kiri**
My ability's just a little nasty, see.
**[15:29] Aki**
I'd prefer to see it through, personally.
**[15:32] Kiri**
You've got some backbone, at least.
**[15:34] Ann**
*The first program will now begin.*
**[15:37] Ann**
* Matches can only be resolved*
* through admission of defeat,*
**[15:40] Ann**
*loss of consciousness, or death!*
**[15:42] Ann**
*Please begin!*
**[15:45] Aki**
*The cuffs are about to unlock.*
**[15:47] Aki**
*Once they do, we can use our abilities.*
**[15:49] Aki**
*Which means...*
**[15:51] Aki**
*In five seconds, the battle begins.*
**[15:53] Kiri**
Well, don't say I didn't warn you.
**[16:01] Kiri**
Let's go, freshman!
**[16:03] Aki**
*He turned the stick into a sword!*
**[16:46] Kiri**
What the—
**[16:48] Kiri**
Sorry, kid! Can't fool me!
**[16:52] Kiri**
Just knock it off already!
**[16:55] Kiri**
You've got a nice bag of tricks,
**[16:58] Kiri**
but it's all over now.
**[17:02] Yang**
I wonder why he won't use his ability.
**[17:06] Mion**
It's not time yet.
**[17:08] Kiri**
What is that, a barricade?
**[17:11] Kiri**
Maybe you didn't get a
good fighting ability.
**[17:15] Kiri**
None of us knows what
happens when you lose.
**[17:18] Kiri**
So I get how you feel,
but just surrender already!
**[17:25] Aki**
*That's what I was waiting for.*
**[17:28] Kiri**
You're messing with me.
**[17:30] Kiri**
It's over, kid.
**[17:31] Kiri**
You've run out of tricks.
**[17:34] Kiri**
Look, you got dragged into this, same as I did.
**[17:37] Kiri**
I don't wanna make mincemeat
out of you if I can help it.
**[17:41] Aki**
That's not the reason I'm
not using my ability.
**[17:44] Aki**
It's the opposite, actually.
**[17:47] Mion**
Looks like it's showtime!
**[17:51] Kiri**
The opposite?
**[17:52] Aki**
Yes.
**[17:54] Aki**
I'm hesitant to use my ability
because it's so dangerous.
**[17:58] Kiri**
Hesitant because it's dangerous?
**[18:00] Kiri**
Quit bluffing, man.
**[18:02] Aki**
I'm not bluffing.
**[18:04] Aki**
I think you remember it.
**[18:06] Kiri**
*Remember... what?*
**[18:10] Kiri**
If you won't surrender,
**[18:12] Kiri**
I'll kill you before you can kill me!
**[18:17] Aki**
The illusion...
**[18:20] Aki**
My ability...
**[18:25] Aki**
The "turn your hand into a cannon" ability!
**[18:33] Aki**
*Yes... I think you saw it, too.*
**[18:59] Kiri**
* The "turn your hand into*
* a cannon" ability...*
**[19:02] Kiri**
*That* is *a nasty ability.*
**[19:07] Aki**
*This is how my...*
**[19:10] Aki**
* So the sword reverts to a stick*
* when it leaves his hand?*
**[19:15] Aki**
I guess it's my turn now.
**[19:17] Aki**
You've lost your weapon. You can't win.
**[19:21] Aki**
Surrender.
**[19:23] Aki**
I'll be forced to shoot you otherwise.
**[19:25] Aki**
Well?
**[19:31] Kiri**
You little brat...
**[19:35] Kiri**
Fine.
**[19:37] Kiri**
I lose.
**[19:39] Ann**
*The winner, Akira Shiroyanagi!*
**[19:47] Mion**
Like I said, he's worth watching!
**[19:49] Yang**
Yes... he was impressive.
**[19:52] Mion**
Did you see?
**[19:53] Mion**
He used his ability so well!
**[19:56] Yang**
But why did he wait so long to use it?
**[20:00] Yang**
He could have used that cannon at the start.
**[20:03] Mion**
Did he manage to convince you
the cannon was his ability?
**[20:08] Mion**
He created such an interesting illusion.
**[20:10] Mion**
Akira said the cannon was his ability.
**[20:14] Mion**
But it's not!
**[20:15] Yang**
What? But I saw him use the cannon!
**[20:19] Mion**
That was the illusion.
**[20:21] Mion**
Akira made use...
**[20:26] Mion**
of *me*.
***SIGN*** <>
Mr. Akira Shiroyanagi
Your ability is
"whatever the other person thinks your ability is."
**[20:38] Mion**
Sophist. "Whatever the other person
thinks your ability is."
**[20:43] Mion**
He needs to arrange the right timing
to voice the ability to his opponent,
**[20:46] Mion**
and create an environment
where they'll believe it.
**[20:51] Mion**
"My ability is 'cannon.'"
**[20:54] Mion**
He arranged the conditions
and timed it just right
**[20:57] Mion**
to make sure his words were believed.
**[21:01] Mion**
You're all that I hoped,
**[21:03] Mion**
my sweet prince.
**[21:06] Aki**
*I made it through that one.*
**[21:08] Aki**
* But there's a lot about this*
* ability I still need to test.*
**[21:13] Aki**
* One's ability determines the*
* game's content and difficulty.*
**[21:16] Aki**
* That's the part that makes*
* this ability interesting.*
**[21:19] Aki**
*I'll start by doing as they wish,*
**[21:22] Aki**
* playing through their*
* program using my ability.*
**[21:25] Aki**
* Then I'll make that cat woman*
* regret ever giving it to me.*
**[21:31] Aki**
*The game's just getting started.*
***SIGN*** <>
Mr. Akira Shiroyanagi
Your ability is
"whatever the other person thinks your ability is."
***SIGN*** Mion and Yang's
Next Episode Preview
**[23:10] Both**
Mion and Yang's Next Episode Preview!
**[23:12] Yang**
Thanks so much for watching!
**[23:14] Yang**
I'm Yang!
**[23:14] Mion**
I'm Mion!
**[23:15] Yang**
Did you enjoy our first episode of—
**[23:18] Mion**
*Ojamajo Mion*!
**[23:19] Yang**
N-No!
**[23:20] Yang**
Of *Battle Game in 5 Seconds!*
**[23:21] Yang**
Um, next episode is when our heroine's—
**[23:23] Mion**
—training as Mion's magical
apprentice begins!
**[23:26] Mion**
Will Mion's training break her?!
**[23:30] Yang**
Please ignore that!
**[23:31] Yang**
What kind of training is that, anyway?
**[23:33] Yang**
Miss Mion, please stop
interrupting my preview—
**[23:35] Mion**
We're running out of time! Hurry up, Yang!
**[23:37] Yang**
We'll see you for episode 2!