# E10 - Always Lost
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GMKUXG1GX/always-lost)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:07] Umiri**
What happened after that?
**[00:10] Umiri**
To the band.
**[00:13] Taki**
It's finished.
**[00:19] Umiri**
I see.
**[00:21] student A**
I'm worried about the next text.
**[00:23] student A**
Oh! Morning's greetings!
**[00:24] student B**
Morning's greetings.
**[00:28] Mutsumi**
Morning's greetings.
**[00:28] student C**
It's already almost summer vacation!
**[00:30] Soyo**
We have finals before that, though.
**[00:32] student D**
I bet they'll be easy
for you, Soyo-chan.
**[00:33] Soyo**
That's not true!
**[00:35] student C**
Will you teach me?
**[00:36] Soyo**
I don't know. Should I?
**[00:38] student D**
The way you teach is really great, you know?
**[00:41] Soyo**
Is it?
***SIGN*** #10 Always Lost
**[00:46] Tomori; internal**
*It all went wrong again.*
**[00:50] Tomori; internal**
*All of it... All of it...*
**[00:55] Tomori; internal**
*I hate sad things.*
**[00:58] Tomori; internal**
*I hate suffering.*
**[01:01] Tomori; internal**
*I should never have done it.*
**[01:02] Eri; background**
Kanako, does your hair
smell different today?
**[01:04] Mai; background**
The smell?
**[01:05] Tomori; internal**
*Everything...*
**[01:05] Kanako; background**
I used my older sister's shampoo!
**[01:07] Eri; background**
I thought so! It's sort of—
**[01:08] Tomori; internal**
*Everything...*
**[01:09] Eri; background**
Oh, Tomori-chan! Morning!
**[01:11] Kanako; Mai**
Morning!
**[01:13] Tomori**
Morning.
**[01:14] Tomori; internal**
*The tears won't come...*
**[01:15] Tomori; internal**
*The edges of my eyes sting and hurt.*
**[01:16] Anon; background**
You used it before
and got yelled at, didn't you?
**[01:18] Kanako; background**
I did.
**[01:19] Tomori; internal**
*What should I do?*
**[01:20] Anon; background**
But I'm jealous, you know?
***SIGN*** Aesop's Fables
**[01:23] Tomori; internal**
*I don't know how to express these things...*
**[01:27] Tomori; internal**
* but I wanted to really talk*
* about everything...*
**[01:30] Tomori; internal**
*I wanted them to really hear me...*
**[01:34] Tomori; internal**
*If I'd really...*
**[01:36] Tomori; internal**
*been able to say everything...*
**[01:39] Tomori; internal**
*It's all a mess.*
**[01:42] Tomori; internal**
*Pill bug.*
**[01:45] Tomori; internal**
*My ears are plugged up with so many words.*
**[01:49] Tomori; internal**
*No.*
**[01:51] Tomori; internal**
*The wailing clamor comes and goes...*
**[01:55] Tomori; internal**
*then disappears.*
**[01:57] Tomori; internal**
*This isn't right.*
**[01:59] Tomori; internal**
* I just know I must have made*
* a mistake somewhere.*
**[02:04] Tomori; internal**
*That's how it always is.*
**[02:06] Tomori; internal**
* Even though it's there,*
* I can't touch it anymore.*
**[02:09] Tomori; internal**
*Even though I could see it, it disappears.*
**[02:13] Tomori; internal**
*Everything is gone.*
**[02:17] Tomori; internal**
*Every last thing.*
***SIGN*** Astronomy Club
**[02:19] Tomori; internal**
*Every last thing.*
**[02:22] Tomori; internal**
*Because I couldn't say anything.*
**[02:25] Tomori; internal**
*Once again...*
**[02:27] Tomori; internal**
*I couldn't become human.*
**[02:30] Tomori; internal**
*I wish I could go away,*
**[02:33] Tomori; internal**
*but I'm always doing the wrong thing.*
**[02:35] Tomori; internal**
*My mouth grows empty.*
**[02:38] Tomori; internal**
*I thirst for words.*
**[02:42] Tomori; internal**
*What should I do?*
**[02:52] Uika**
This won't recline. That
was annoyingly loud, wasn't it?
**[02:56] Tomori**
This seat...
**[03:05] announcement**
*We will now begin our screening.*
**[03:07] Uika**
Thank you. That was a huge help.
**[03:07] announcement**
Please relax and enjoy
the entire presentation.
**[03:18] announcement**
*That concludes today's programming.*
**[03:22] announcement**
* There are stairs*
* in the theater, so please...*
**[03:38] Uika**
That's dangerous!
**[03:48] Uika**
Are you all right?
**[03:51] Uika**
It looked to me like you were about to cry.
**[04:06] Uika**
Even in the city,
you can see the North Star.
**[04:10] Uika**
I thought I wouldn't be able to
see the stars in Tokyo,
**[04:13] Uika**
so I was surprised
the first time I spotted it.
**[04:21] Tomori**
Ursa Major.
**[04:24] Tomori**
Ursa Minor.
**[04:27] Tomori**
Um...
**[04:30] Uika**
This is like a song.
**[04:36] Uika**
When you sing, it feels like
it reaches people, right?
**[04:38] Uika**
Even things you have a hard time saying...
**[04:40] Uika**
more than words, the feeling gets through.
**[04:58] Uika**
I hope your feelings get through.
**[05:09] Tomori**
A song?
***SIGN*** Song Poem
**[05:33] Tomori; internal**
*This is a song.*
**[05:47] Tomori**
Perform live with me.
**[05:51] Anon**
What will we do about Soyo-san?
**[06:00] Ririko**
What? Perform live?
**[06:02] Ririko**
Solo?
**[06:03] Tomori**
Yes.
**[06:05] Ririko**
This is super sudden.
**[06:07] Ririko**
We might be able to do it at the beginning.
**[06:10] Ririko**
Right here.
**[06:11] Ririko**
Is it okay if it's a short slot?
**[06:16] Ririko**
Okay. Wait just a minute, okay?
**[06:20] Taki**
Tomori is?
**[06:21] Ririko**
Taki-chan, she didn't tell you?
**[06:24] Ririko**
I don't know what happened,
and I'm not going to pry,
**[06:27] Ririko**
but your big sis here is worried about you.
**[06:31] Taki**
When is it?
***SIGN*** Regular Concert
***SIGN*** Performing
***SIGN*** Takamatsu Tomori
***SIGN*** Fuzzy Drops
**[06:33] customer A**
Takamatsu? I wonder who that is?
**[06:36] customer B**
Akari? How do you read that name?
**[06:39] Rāna**
Stare.
**[06:39] staff A**
Ririko-san!
**[06:41] Ririko**
Yes?
**[06:42] staff A**
What should we do with these?
**[06:44] Ririko**
Oh, just leave them there.
**[06:45] staff A**
Okay!
**[06:46] Ririko**
Rāna-chan, don't eat that.
**[06:48] staff B**
Ririko-san?
**[06:49] Ririko**
Yes?
**[06:50] Ririko**
Oh! You ate it!
**[06:52] Rāna**
I didn't eat it.
**[07:33] Tomori**
Everyone is gone and I don't have music,
**[07:38] Tomori**
but this... is a song.
**[07:46] Tomori**
I will sing a song.
**[07:51] Tomori**
Once, there were people
who pulled me by the hand...
**[07:55] Tomori**
There were people who sang with me.
**[07:59] Tomori**
I destroyed it all.
**[08:01] Tomori**
I got lost...
**[08:03] Tomori**
so lost.
**[08:06] Tomori**
I took detours.
**[08:08] Tomori**
Even so, there were people
who helped me move forward.
**[08:12] Tomori**
I let go of their hands.
**[08:16] Tomori**
I didn't want to forget.
**[08:18] Tomori**
I didn't want to lose anything.
**[08:21] Tomori**
I gathered up the fragments
still left inside me.
**[08:26] Tomori**
They became a song...
**[08:29] Tomori**
That's right. This is a song.
**[08:43] Tomori**
I don't know... the right way to sing,
**[08:48] Tomori**
but I want you to hear this song.
**[08:51] Tomori**
I want you to sing this song.
**[08:54] Tomori**
I want you here beside me again,
you who are no longer here...
**[08:58] Tomori**
you, who have changed...
**[09:01] Tomori**
and left me behind.
**[09:03] Tomori**
I want this song to reach
you, so I'll scream it.
**[09:07] Tomori**
Even if this voice grows hoarse and thin...
**[09:12] Tomori**
until the moment this song reaches you...
**[09:15] Tomori**
I'm determined to keep singing it.
**[09:23] crowd**
That was amazing, wasn't it?
**[09:25] crowd**
That was incredible.
**[09:30] Rāna**
An interesting girl.
***SIGN*** Haneoka Girls' Academy
**[09:38] classmate E**
I heard that Tomori-chan
is performing live by herself.
**[09:41] classmate F**
Huh? What about her band?
**[09:42] classmate E**
Sometimes there's a girl on guitar.
**[09:44] classmate G**
Really?
**[09:45] classmate E**
It seems like everyone's talking about it!
**[09:47] crowd A**
I've never heard anything like it before.
**[09:49] crowd B**
The lyrics are different from before, right?
**[09:52] crowd C**
And the guitar arrangements
are different, too.
**[09:54] crowd D**
These girls are interesting, right?
**[09:56] classmate E**
Tomori-chan!
**[09:57] classmate E**
We went and saw your performance yesterday!
**[09:59] classmate G**
Your reading was amazing!
**[10:01] classmate G**
I cried!
**[10:03] classmate F**
When are you performing again?
**[10:03] Mai**
Tomori-chan's become kind of
a big deal, right?
**[10:04] Tomori; background**
Um...
**[10:05] classmate G; background**
Let's all go together!
**[10:05] classmate E; background**
Who's going?
**[10:07] Kanako**
Yeah, she has.
**[10:07] classmates; background**
Me!
**[10:08] Anon**
I guess she really
doesn't need me after all.
**[10:11] Taki**
Why is the stray cat playing with Tomori?
**[10:13] Ririko**
Well, Rāna-chan loves interesting things.
**[10:17] Ririko**
Taki-chan, aren't you
going to play with them?
**[10:18] Taki**
I...
**[10:20] Rāna**
Play drums.
**[10:21] Taki**
What? I'm in the middle of work.
**[10:23] Ririko**
Oh, don't worry about that.
**[10:24] Taki**
What?
**[10:25] Taki**
Hey!
**[10:26] Ririko**
Bye!
**[10:26] Taki**
Don't pull me, stray cat!
**[10:29] Taki**
I...
**[10:31] Tomori**
The world is so far away for me.
**[10:34] Tomori**
A solitary star just spins and spins.
**[10:38] Tomori**
Even though I grew
as much as I possibly could...
**[10:40] Tomori**
I wasn't able to become human.
**[10:43] Tomori**
Pools of spring sunlight...
**[11:17] Tomori**
But I still have to sing this song.
**[11:21] Tomori**
I didn't want to hurt anyone.
**[11:23] Tomori**
I didn't want to let go of their hands.
**[11:26] Tomori**
I'm sorry, my dear ones.
**[11:29] Tomori**
The things I want to convey
to you always get stuck in my throat...
**[11:33] Tomori**
and never become voiced.
**[11:36] Tomori**
At the very least, I want to leave this...
**[11:38] Tomori**
this song!
**[11:47] Taki**
I thought that I was thinking of you,
Tomori, but I wasn't really thinking at all.
**[11:53] Taki**
I'm sorry for bringing
in Umiri without asking.
**[11:56] Taki**
You said you hate bands,
but you performed anyways.
**[11:59] Taki**
I couldn't understand what you
were thinking at all.
**[12:03] Taki**
But...
**[12:06] Taki**
after hearing your song, I do understand.
**[12:14] Tomori**
Taki-chan.
**[12:16] Tomori**
Thank you... for coming.
**[12:19] Taki**
Tomori...
**[12:26] Tomori**
Mutsumi-chan?
**[12:34] Mutsumi**
What will you do about Soyo?
**[12:37] Taki**
How do you even know about it?
**[12:38] Tomori**
How is Soyo-chan?
**[12:41] Mutsumi**
Soyo... doesn't know anymore.
**[12:44] Taki**
Doesn't know what?
**[12:45] Taki**
Hey!
**[12:53] Eri**
Anon-chan, morning!
**[12:55] Anon**
Morning!
**[12:56] Mai; Kanako**
Morning!
**[13:02] Tomori**
Play guitar.
**[13:05] Tomori**
Perform live with me.
**[13:08] Anon**
You don't need me, do you?
**[13:09] Tomori**
I do!
**[13:11] Tomori**
I need you, Anon-chan!
**[13:12] Tomori**
If you're not there, Anon-chan...
**[13:14] Anon**
Don't shout!
**[13:15] Tomori**
Play guitar!
**[13:24] Tomori**
Anon-chan!
**[13:26] Anon**
Don't follow me!
**[13:29] Tomori**
Anon-chan!
**[13:30] Anon**
You're so stubborn!
**[13:44] Anon**
You already have a guitarist, don't you?
**[13:46] Tomori**
You said, "Let's do it together!"
**[13:49] Tomori**
About the band! To me!
**[13:51] Anon**
It's not like I actually wanted to do it.
**[13:54] Tomori**
Then why did you invite me?
**[13:57] Anon**
What's it matter?
**[13:58] Tomori**
Anon-chan!
**[14:01] Anon**
It was all to look good!
**[14:08] Tomori**
Anon-chan, you were struggling
with all your might.
**[14:16] Tomori**
So was Soyo-chan.
**[14:17] Tomori**
So was I. Because we're all lost.
**[14:23] Tomori**
Together...
**[14:26] Tomori**
Let's be lost together.
**[14:40] Anon**
Oh, man.
**[14:44] Anon**
This is all your fault, Tomori-chan.
**[14:52] Anon**
Soyo-san?
**[14:58] Anon**
I need to talk to you.
**[15:00] Anon**
Wait!
**[15:02] Anon**
Soyo-san!
**[15:03] Soyo**
Don't follow me.
**[15:04] Anon**
I'm gonna follow you until you listen
to what I have to say!
**[15:28] Soyo**
Why don't you come in?
**[15:35] Anon**
This is such a super high-class hotel,
**[15:36] Anon**
there's zero signs
that anyone lives here at all.
**[15:38] Anon**
Do you live by yourself?
**[15:40] Soyo**
I live with my mother.
**[15:42] Anon**
Oh. Thanks.
**[15:45] Anon; internal**
*This aroma...*
**[15:47] Anon; internal**
* This is what we both drank*
* the first time we met.*
**[15:50] Soyo**
I'm amazed that you can talk to me.
**[15:53] Soyo**
You heard everything, didn't you?
**[15:54] Anon**
I did.
**[15:56] Anon**
It made me angry,
**[15:57] Anon**
but it also made me think,
"I guess Soyo-san is human, too."
**[16:00] Soyo**
What?
**[16:02] Anon**
You're super different from what you show.
**[16:03] Anon**
You tell tons of lies.
**[16:05] Anon**
And there's a part of you
that's sort of malicious, right?
**[16:07] Soyo**
Are you trying to pick a fight?
**[16:09] Anon**
I heard you're lost.
**[16:10] Soyo**
What?
**[16:11] Anon**
Tomori-chan said so.
**[16:12] Soyo**
What does that mean?
**[16:13] Anon**
Tomori-chan is waiting.
**[16:17] Anon**
Even if you say you don't
need me, I'm still doing it.
**[16:22] Soyo**
Even though I know you
started just to look good.
**[16:24] Anon**
That's right.
**[16:26] Anon**
You and I started this band, right?
**[16:32] Soyo**
In that case...
**[16:35] Soyo**
I'll put an end to it for you.
**[16:40] crowd A**
Next up is Tomori-chan!
**[16:41] crowd B**
There are more people here
in the audience now.
**[16:46] Anon**
Wow.
**[16:47] Anon**
There's a huge crowd out there.
**[16:50] Rāna**
You finally came.
**[16:51] Anon**
What do you mean, "finally"?
**[16:53] Tomori**
Anon-chan.
**[16:58] Taki**
Are you ready for this?
**[16:59] Anon**
Yes, yes.
**[17:05] Taki**
Wait! Tomori?
**[17:08] Tomori**
Excuse me...
**[17:10] Tomori**
Up there, um...
**[17:18] Soyo**
H-Hey!
**[17:21] Soyo**
Let go!
**[17:27] Soyo**
W-Wait.
**[17:29] Soyo**
Don't get the wrong idea!
**[17:31] Soyo**
I came to end things!
**[17:48] Soyo**
Hey!
**[18:07] Tomori**
I don't understand.
**[18:09] Tomori**
I can't ever find it.
**[18:11] Tomori**
Not the right answer. Not what normal is.
**[18:14] Tomori**
The world is so very, very far away.
**[18:17] Tomori**
It's in a place where I can't reach it.
**[18:20] Tomori**
And the spring that embraced
the pools of sunlight...
**[18:22] Tomori**
feels like it will disappear
because the summer shines too brightly.
**[18:26] Tomori**
If I'm just going to end up withered
and dry on the asphalt,
**[18:31] Tomori**
then I wish I'd stayed
hidden under the rocks.
**[18:58] Tomori**
I destroyed it all again!
**[19:01] Tomori**
I didn't want to lose it.
I didn't want to forget it!
**[19:03] Tomori**
But I wasn't strong enough
and I ended up letting go...
**[19:06] Tomori**
even though I knew that it was important
**[19:08] Tomori**
Oh, everything's ended up a mess,
**[19:11] Tomori**
but if everything hasn't disappeared
yet... then I want to go back!
**[19:14] Tomori**
I want to tell them!
**[19:15] Tomori**
If it's allowed, then
I don't want to give up!
**[19:19] Tomori**
I didn't want anyone to find me.
**[19:22] Tomori**
But being with you made me so very happy
**[19:25] Tomori**
And I haven't told you that, so...
**[19:28] Tomori**
So, please!
**[19:29] Tomori**
I didn't want to hurt anyone
**[19:31] Tomori**
I didn't want to leave you this way
**[19:34] Tomori**
What should I do?
**[19:36] Tomori**
The words I couldn't say...
**[19:39] Tomori**
are still words I want to reach you!
**[19:51] Tomori**
*The song I sing*
**[19:54] Tomori**
*I'll sing it now*
**[19:55] Tomori**
*Please reach...*
**[19:57] Tomori**
*all the way to your heart*
**[19:59] Tomori**
*Is there still time?*
**[20:01] Tomori**
* To go beyond words,*
* I'll shout what's in my heart*
**[20:09] Tomori**
*Because this is the only way I can do it*
**[20:15] Tomori**
*I'll keep singing until it reaches you*
**[20:34] Tomori**
*I want to cry together*
**[20:37] Tomori**
*I want to laugh together*
**[20:39] Tomori**
*Even if our paths only run parallel*
**[20:44] Tomori**
*Still holding tightly to yesterday*
**[20:47] Tomori**
*Trembling with a throbbing pain*
**[20:50] Tomori**
* The more it hurts the more your emotions*
* come through, so I won't leave you*
**[21:09] Tomori**
* I'll sing this song that*
* will link my hands with yours*
**[21:15] Tomori**
*I don't want to let go*
**[21:19] Tomori**
*Let's stay together forever*
**[21:22] Tomori**
* I'll sing this song that*
* will help us become ourselves*
**[21:30] Tomori**
*I'll sing and let's begin here one more time*
***SIGN*** #11 Even So