# Asobi Asobase - workshop of fun -
Olivia is a blonde-haired beauty who was born and raised in Japan, but can’t speak any English. Despite always acting serious and as an intellectual, Kasumi is a bespectacled girl with short hair, who also can’t speak English. Finally, there’s the pig-tailed Hanako, who’s cheerful but can’t seem to become a normie. The three middle schoolers end up making a “Players’ Club”?! The ultimately cute, ultimately fun and hilarious teenage girls’ comedy is about to begin!
# Season 1
# 1 - Equivalent Exchange | Cheap Thrills | Pleasure Seekers | The Kind Pervert
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/G6MEG24VR/asobi-asobase---workshop-of-fun--)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Equivalent Exchange
**[01:38] (Flashback) Kasumi**
I lost again.
**[01:40] (Flashback) Kasumi**
You're so good, Onee-chan.
**[01:44] (Flashback) Oneechan**
Okay, the loser has to go buy ice cream.
**[01:48] Kasumi**
* My older sister would always beat me*
* playing games and make me do stuff.*
**[01:55] Kasumi**
*So I hated having fun.*
**[02:01] Hanako**
Start with rock!
**[02:02] Hanako**
Rock-paper-scissors!
**[02:04] Hanako**
Look the other way!
**[02:05] Hanako**
Rock-paper-scissors!
**[02:06] Hanako**
Look the other way!
**[02:07] Hanako**
Rock-paper-scissors!
**[02:07] Kasumi**
*So annoying.*
**[02:08] Hanako**
Look the other way!
**[02:08] Hanako**
It's a draw!
**[02:08] Kasumi**
*What are those two doing, anyway?*
**[02:09] Hanako**
Rock-paper-scissors!
**[02:10] Hanako**
It's a draw!
**[02:11] Hanako**
Look the other way!
**[02:12] Hanako**
Rock-paper-scissors!
**[02:13] Hanako**
It's a draw!
**[02:14] Hanako**
Look the other way!
**[02:16] Hanako**
No, that's not the rule!
**[02:18] Hanako**
I keep telling you, if you look
the other way, you're safe!
**[02:22] Hanako**
And a flick to the forehead, not a slap!
***SIGN*** Hm?
***SIGN*** Again, with your "I don't know Japanese" pose!
***SIGN*** I'm done being your guide!
**[02:31] Olivia**
Wait up.
**[02:32] Olivia**
Don't just abandon a transfer
student from America.
**[02:35] Kasumi**
*Oh, right we have a new classmate today.*
**[02:36] Olivia**
You were asked by your homeroom
teacher to do it, weren't you?
**[02:38] Hanako**
Just because I happened
to be sitting next to you!
**[02:40] Olivia**
Let's play look-the-other-way one more time.
**[02:43] Hanako**
No way, you're going to slap me again!
**[02:45] Olivia**
Japanese pastimes are so fun!
**[02:48] Kasumi**
Um...
**[02:50] Kasumi**
Kindly shut up.
**[02:54] Hanako**
S-Sorry.
**[02:56] Olivia**
Sorry.
**[02:57] Olivia**
Who's she?
**[02:58] Hanako**
I haven't talked to her much.
**[03:03] Olivia**
Let's play look-the-other-way together.
**[03:06] Kasumi**
No thanks.
**[03:07] Olivia**
Please? Just one time.
**[03:10] Olivia**
Just the tip. Just the tip.
**[03:12] Hanako**
Just the tip? How far in?
**[03:14] Kasumi**
No.
**[03:15] Olivia**
I'll settle with this one, then.
**[03:19] Hanako**
Er... Please, play her, just once.
**[03:23] Hanako**
That'll be enough to satisfy her.
**[03:27] Kasumi**
Just once, then.
**[03:29] Olivia**
Sweet.
**[03:32] Hanako**
*She's set on slapping her.*
**[03:33] Hanako**
Rock-paper-scissors!
**[03:35] Hanako**
Look the other way!
**[03:41] Olivia**
Uh-oh.
**[03:44] Hanako**
*What just happened?*
***SIGN*** On me
**[03:46] Olivia**
Hey, you got away!
***SIGN*** Whoosh
**[03:47] Hanako**
Yay.
**[03:48] Olivia**
U-Um... Sorry...
**[03:51] Kasumi**
Rock-paper-scissors.
**[03:53] Kasumi**
Look the other way.
**[03:59] Kasumi**
This is *real* look-the-other-way.
**[04:04] Hanako**
Uh... Are you okay?
**[04:06] Hanako**
Also, what she said is true.
**[04:09] Hanako**
*That's what you get.*
***SIGN*** Faculty Room
**[04:13] Kasumi**
Pardon me.
**[04:16] Hanako**
Slow down, Olivia.
**[04:18] Hanako**
Wait up.
**[04:18] Kasumi**
Um...
**[04:21] Kasumi**
Can I talk to you about something?
***SIGN*** Midterm Test English
***SIGN*** Nomura Kasumi
**[04:28] Hanako**
*Two percent?!*
**[04:28] Hanako**
* You're totally the*
* read-books-after-school type!*
**[04:31] Hanako**
*Two percent?!*
**[04:31] Kasumi**
The truth is, I'm bad at English.
**[04:35] Kasumi**
Hey, you're American, right?
Could you please teach me English?
**[04:39] Kasumi**
You owe me for playing
look-the-other-way with you.
**[04:42] Hanako**
*Dude, this chick's kind of threatening.*
**[04:44] Olivia**
Um... Well...
**[04:48] Olivia**
* Actually, my parents are foreigners,*
* but I was born and raised in Japan.*
**[04:54] Olivia**
* I was just messing with her,*
* pretending to be American.*
**[04:58] Olivia**
*I couldn't help it, she just looks so dumb.*
**[05:01] Olivia**
*And in fact, I can't speak a word of English.*
**[05:05] Olivia**
*Maybe I'll tell her.*
**[05:10] Olivia**
*Nope, not happening.*
**[05:12] Olivia**
Um...
**[05:14] Olivia**
Oh, I'm really interested in
the pastimes of other cultures.
**[05:19] Kasumi**
Pastimes, you say?
**[05:21] Olivia**
*All right, I can turn her down now.*
**[05:24] Olivia**
I want to learn about what
the Japanese do for fun,
**[05:26] Olivia**
so I don't have time to teach you.
**[05:28] Kasumi**
In that case, I'll teach you how we have fun.
**[05:31] Kasumi**
But you'll have to teach me English.
**[05:37] Olivia**
Please teach me English.
**[05:40] Hanako**
Why?!
**[05:41] ---**
Asobi Asobase!
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Cheap Thrills
**[05:49] Text**
*Dawn is the best time of a spring day.*
**[05:53] Text**
*The white light creeping over the mountains,*
**[05:57] Text**
* the purple-tinted clouds*
* splashing over them...*
**[06:00] Olivia**
Hullo, what Ackbar Bono!
**[06:03] Olivia**
Yo! Yo!
**[06:04] Olivia**
Silkworm narwhaller
**[06:05] Olivia**
Yum, Maggie, *wow*!
**[06:06] Olivia**
Scottie?
**[06:07] Olivia**
Alkaline!
**[06:08] Olivia**
Hacky sacky digital c'mon!
**[06:10] Olivia**
Hold your socks, Tania's picking tarps!
**[06:13] Sensei**
All right, Olivia-san.
**[06:15] Sensei**
Thank you very much.
**[06:17] Sensei**
But why is your Japanese so broken?
***SIGN*** Staff Office
**[06:23] Sensei**
Weren't you born and raised in Japan?
**[06:26] Olivia**
Yes.
**[06:27] Sensei**
You got 90 percent in Japanese
on the transfer exam, didn't you?
**[06:31] Olivia**
Yes.
**[06:31] Sensei**
In fact, you got around
twenty percent in English.
**[06:34] Olivia**
*You didn't need to mention that.*
**[06:35] Sensei**
Sheesh.
**[06:36] Sensei**
Talk normally from now on, please.
**[06:38] Olivia**
Okay.
**[06:39] Olivia**
Not happening.
**[06:44] Hanako**
You're late.
**[06:45] Hanako**
Let's have lunch already.
**[06:47] Olivia**
Sorry, sorry.
**[06:48] Hanako**
* Oh no, I was picking at the*
* sides, and now I only have rice.*
**[06:52] Hanako**
*I'll ask for some of hers.*
**[06:53] Hanako**
What's for lunch?
**[06:54] Olivia**
Sandwich.
**[06:55] Hanako**
Can you give me the ham?
**[06:57] Olivia**
I don't wanna.
**[06:58] Kasumi**
Um...
**[06:59] Kasumi**
Teach me English, please.
**[07:03] Olivia**
*Shit.*
**[07:05] Olivia**
*I haven't studied at all.*
**[07:07] Olivia**
I'm having lunch right now.
**[07:10] Kasumi**
You mean the two slices of
bread you're holding together?
**[07:13] Hanako**
Thanks for the ham.
**[07:14] Kasumi**
I have ham, if you want some.
**[07:16] Olivia**
*Where did you pull that ham out of?*
**[07:18] Olivia**
H-Ham isn't enough.
**[07:20] Kasumi**
I'll teach you our pastimes, too.
**[07:22] Kasumi**
So please, teach me English.
**[07:24] Narrator**
*And then what happened?*
**[07:27] Hanako**
So what are we doing?
**[07:28] Kasumi**
It's our first time, so I thought maybe
an easy one that'll give us a thrill.
**[07:38] Olivia**
*Uh...*
**[07:40] Olivia**
*This is bad news.*
**[07:42] Kasumi**
This cheap thrill is a huge hit with
middle schoolers and high schoolers.
**[07:46] Olivia**
* She's just talking out of her*
* ass because I'm a foreigner!*
**[07:48] Hanako**
Oh, how about we make it a challenge
where every time you lose,
**[07:51] Hanako**
you have to teach her some English?
**[07:53] Kasumi**
*A challenge?*
**[07:55] Kasumi**
*No!*
**[07:56] Olivia**
It's not safe, ma'am.
**[07:59] Hanako**
Are you chickening out?
**[08:00] Olivia**
N-Not at all!
**[08:02] Kasumi**
* I might have a chance*
* if she's chickening out.*
**[08:04] Kasumi**
Okay.
**[08:05] Kasumi**
Let's do it.
**[08:06] Kasumi**
How about one pass each round?
**[08:09] Hanako**
Okay.
**[08:18] Olivia**
*This kid's whack.*
**[08:20] Olivia**
Wow.
**[08:24] Kasumi**
You're up next.
**[08:28] Kasumi**
*It's dangerous, but failure isn't an option!*
**[08:34] Hanako**
Sh-She's fast, too!
**[08:38] Olivia**
*I kind of grazed it.*
**[08:40] Hanako**
You were both fast.
**[08:42] Hanako**
You were both about the same.
I couldn't tell who won.
**[08:45] Hanako**
Okay, this time...
**[08:47] Hanako**
Do it with a compass!
**[08:49] Olivia**
What is wrong with you?!
**[08:51] Kasumi**
V-Very well.
**[08:53] Olivia**
Seriously?!
**[09:00] Olivia**
*What speed.*
**[09:01] Kasumi**
Okay, next.
**[09:03] Olivia**
*There're holes on the desk.*
**[09:06] Hanako**
Don't worry.
**[09:07] Hanako**
Even if you mess up, you'll just gain the
ability to breathe through your finger.
**[09:11] Olivia**
*Breathe? You mean I'll have bored through it.*
**[09:17] Olivia**
*Bye-bye, my fingers!*
**[09:21] Hanako**
She's...
**[09:22] Hanako**
She's fast!
**[09:23] Hanako**
No, wait!
**[09:24] Hanako**
She's nowhere near her fingers!
**[09:30] Olivia**
Wh-What should I teach you?
**[09:34] Kasumi**
Let's see...
**[09:35] Kasumi**
How about you teach me some
casual American conversation?
**[09:41] Olivia**
*Dunno.*
**[09:43] Olivia**
G-Give me chocolate.
**[09:47] Kasumi**
That's the English that Japanese people
used to use towards American soldiers.
**[09:51] Olivia**
Americans eat chocolate, too.
**[09:54] Kasumi**
I'm sure, but you don't beg for
it on a daily basis, do you?
**[09:57] Olivia**
We beg every day.
**[10:00] Hanako**
Really?
**[10:01] Hanako**
I never knew.
**[10:02] Olivia**
*I'm sorry, Americans!*
**[10:03] Kasumi**
That's good to know.
**[10:05] Olivia**
Whew!
**[10:06] Kasumi**
I'll look up some good pastimes.
**[10:09] Olivia**
Nothing dangerous, please.
**[10:12] ---**
Asobi Asobase!
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Pleasure Seekers
**[10:27] Sensei**
You're amazing, Honda-san!
**[10:30] Sensei**
Keep it up, and you'll make it straight
to the nationals at the game next Sunday.
**[10:35] Hanako**
Sensei, thank you.
**[10:38] Hanako**
*But, Sensei...*
**[10:41] Hanako**
*That's not why I joined the soft tennis club.*
**[10:45] A**
How's the Sunday thing coming along?
**[10:47] B**
It's all good.
**[10:48] B**
I set us up with some people
from a boys' school.
**[10:51] A**
Bring me some high-quality ones, face-wise.
**[10:54] B**
Don't worry, they're all hot.
**[10:56] B**
You won't be disappointed.
**[10:58] Hanako**
U-Um...
**[10:59] Hanako**
What's going on next Sunday?
**[11:00] A**
Hey, Honda-san.
**[11:01] A**
You're so amazing, making
it onto the starting lineup.
**[11:04] A**
Good luck at the tournament.
**[11:05] B**
We can't wear our uniforms at the tournament,
**[11:07] B**
so we'll wear them for you at the mixer.
**[11:09] Hanako**
S-Sure.
**[11:13] Hanako**
Sensei...
**[11:14] Sensei**
Yes? What is it?
**[11:15] Hanako**
I'm quitting the club.
**[11:18] Sensei**
Wait, what?
**[11:20] Sensei**
Where'd that come from?
**[11:21] Narrator**
*And then what happened?*
**[11:23] Olivia**
So, you actually quit?
**[11:28] Hanako**
She doesn't get it.
**[11:30] Hanako**
I didn't want to win tournaments or anything.
**[11:33] Hanako**
The reason I joined the soft tennis club...
**[11:36] Hanako**
is because I thought I could
be one of the popular kids.
**[11:41] Hanako**
But nope.
**[11:42] Hanako**
Popular kids are popular
before they even join.
**[11:45] Hanako**
There's something different about me.
**[11:47] Hanako**
I can't fit in.
**[11:49] Hanako**
They're all carnivores in that world.
**[11:51] Hanako**
A herbivore like me just
gets chewed apart, you know?
**[11:55] Hanako**
The substitute girl was *super*
happy when I quit, too.
**[11:58] Hanako**
Like, it was for the better? I guess?
**[11:59] Olivia**
* Wh-When is she going*
* to stop talking about that?*
**[12:02] Olivia**
L-Lucky you, though.
**[12:05] Olivia**
I want to join a club.
**[12:08] Hanako**
Aren't there any easy popular kids club?
**[12:11] Olivia**
*What's an easy popular kid?*
**[12:13] Kasumi**
Um...
**[12:15] Kasumi**
Why don't we make a club?
**[12:18] Olivia**
*Her again!*
**[12:19] Olivia**
I don't know if we can make one.
**[12:22] Kasumi**
In fact, I've already talked
to the teacher about it.
**[12:24] Kasumi**
You and I are the members.
**[12:26] Olivia**
*What? What?*
**[12:27] Olivia**
*Wait, what the hell?*
**[12:28] Hanako**
What kind of club?
**[12:29] Kasumi**
English Language Study Club.
**[12:30] Olivia**
English Language Test?
**[12:31] Kasumi**
I want to qualify for Class 5 someday.
**[12:33] Olivia**
I don't think I need to
study any more English.
**[12:38] Kasumi**
But...
**[12:39] Olivia**
I wouldn't mind joining if it's
something other than English.
**[12:43] Kasumi**
Then I'll think about
calling it something else.
**[12:45] Olivia**
*Saved!*
**[12:47] Hanako**
I want to join, too.
**[12:49] Kasumi**
You, too, Hanako?
**[12:50] Hanako**
Give it a popular name.
**[12:52] Kasumi**
*She's still on about that.*
**[12:54] Kasumi**
Manga Club?
**[12:55] Hanako**
Were you listening to me just now?!
**[12:57] Kasumi**
I mean, those people actually
have lots of meet ups and events.
**[13:01] Kasumi**
I think they're pretty happy in real life.
**[13:02] Hanako**
That's not it!
**[13:04] Hanako**
Something that seems full
of people having fun.
**[13:08] Olivia**
L-Like Surfing or Diving?
**[13:11] Hanako**
Yeah, yeah!
**[13:12] Kasumi**
I'm pretty sure they do
proper water sport stuff.
**[13:15] Olivia**
Hell, no!
***SIGN*** Finally shook hands with a goblin shark at 1200 meters under
**[13:16] Olivia**
A proper diving club might
be something like this.
**[13:20] Olivia**
But there's no way *these ones*
are in it for the sport.
***SIGN*** Best Buddies <3
**[13:24] Olivia**
* Actually, the proper ones, by*
* her standards, would be dead.*
**[13:27] Hanako**
Damn it!
**[13:28] Hanako**
I don't approve of anyone who
doesn't do sports properly!
**[13:32] Olivia**
*Was this girl always such a howler?*
**[13:34] Kasumi**
Th-Then...
**[13:36] Kasumi**
How about a Pastime Club?
**[13:38] Kasumi**
Especially since you like
pastimes, Olivia-san.
**[13:40] Olivia**
*Dude...*
**[13:41] Olivia**
* I'm going to end up having to teach*
* English every time I lose, aren't I?*
**[13:45] Olivia**
* Although the truth is that I'm*
* starting to like this kind of thing.*
**[13:51] Olivia**
* But I don't want to admit*
* it either, you know?*
**[13:56] Olivia**
U-Um...
**[13:58] Kasumi**
I've already made so many compromises.
**[14:00] Kasumi**
What's your problem?
**[14:02] Kasumi**
I don't know what you're
demanding, Olivia-san.
**[14:05] Olivia**
*W-Wait...*
**[14:06] Olivia**
*Why is she suddenly so pissed?*
**[14:10] Kasumi**
Let's settle this over a thumb war, then.
**[14:13] Kasumi**
If I win, it's Pastime Club.
**[14:15] Kasumi**
If you win, you can choose
whatever you'd like.
**[14:18] Olivia**
Fine.
**[14:20] Olivia**
* You idiot, I totally have an advantage,*
* with how long my fingers are!*
**[14:25] Hanako**
Okay.
**[14:27] Hanako**
Ready... go.
**[14:33] Hanako**
So dull.
**[14:35] Olivia**
*Now!*
**[14:39] Olivia**
*Huh?*
**[14:40] Olivia**
*Did her thumb really just bend like that?*
**[14:44] Olivia**
*What's she aiming for?*
**[14:47] Olivia**
*The base!*
**[14:48] Olivia**
*I have to dodge it at all costs!*
**[14:53] Olivia**
*Oy.*
**[14:55] Kasumi**
One...
**[14:57] Kasumi**
Two...
**[14:58] Kasumi**
Three...
**[15:00] Kasumi**
Four...
**[15:01] Olivia**
Ow, ow...
**[15:02] Kasumi**
Five...
**[15:02] Olivia**
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
**[15:04] Kasumi**
Six...
**[15:06] Kasumi**
Seven...
**[15:06] ---**
That hurts!
**[15:08] Kasumi**
Eight...
**[15:10] Kasumi**
Nine...
**[15:11] Olivia**
I give, I give!
**[15:11] Kasumi**
Ten.
**[15:12] Olivia**
Fine.
**[15:15] Olivia**
Let's call it the Pastime Club.
**[15:17] Hanako**
*She sounded super native saying "that hurts."*
**[15:20] Hanako**
Hey...
**[15:21] Hanako**
"Pastime Club" sounds a bit lame, so...
**[15:24] Hanako**
Let's call it the Pastimers Club.
**[15:27] Olivia**
*How is that any different?*
**[15:29] ---**
Does it really need to be "pastim*ers*"?
**[15:31] Hanako**
"Pastimers" makes us sound more like popular
Shibuya pleasure seekers, doesn't it?
**[15:35] Olivia**
* It actually makes me think of jobless old*
* guys betting on horses or playing mahjong.*
**[15:39] Kasumi**
F-Fine.
**[15:41] Kasumi**
Let's go with that.
**[15:42] Olivia**
*Are you sure?!*
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[15:44] Narrator**
* And so the Pastimers Club,*
* also known as the Pass Club,*
**[15:48] Narrator**
* was quietly established*
* in the spare classroom.*
**[15:51] A**
They actually study pleasure seekers?
**[15:54] B**
Jeez, that's so gloomy.
**[15:56] ---**
Asobi Asobase!
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** The Kind Pervert
**[16:03] Hanako**
Olivia.
**[16:05] Hanako**
Let's go to the club room.
**[16:07] Olivia**
I'm going to take these hand-outs to
the staff room, so I'll be there later.
**[16:10] Hanako**
Okay.
**[16:11] Hanako**
Olivia's gotten good at Japanese, huh?
**[16:13] Kasumi**
It's probably because
she's hanging out with us.
**[16:16] Olivia**
*Crap, I need to get better more gradually.*
**[16:20] Narrator**
*And then what happened?*
**[16:22] Olivia**
What's today's pastime?
**[16:29] Olivia**
*What are they up to?*
**[16:32] Olivia**
What's this?
**[16:33] Hanako**
Huh?
**[16:34] Hanako**
I mean, it's hot, so...
**[16:35] Kasumi**
So Hanako-san wanted to set
up a pool in the club room.
**[16:38] Hanako**
Yeah.
**[16:39] Olivia**
That sounds dangerous, in more ways than one.
**[16:42] Hanako**
Don't worry, we'll be careful.
**[16:43] Hanako**
Come on, get in your swimsuit, Olivia.
**[16:45] Olivia**
Stop, perv!
**[16:46] Olivia**
Wait, I'll get changed.
**[16:51] Hanako**
Oh yeah, I heard there's a foreign
brand of trunks that float in water.
**[16:56] Hanako**
Do you think it's true?
**[16:58] Olivia**
Do trunks float?
**[16:59] Olivia**
Wouldn't water get in?
**[17:01] Hanako**
You know how people used
to go on vacations by sea?
**[17:04] Hanako**
So apparently there were some brands
of trunks that worked as swim tubes.
**[17:09] Hanako**
I heard someone survived the
Titanic crash because of it, too.
**[17:13] Kasumi**
You're so knowledgeable, Hanako-san.
**[17:16] Hanako**
I figured we should give it a try here.
**[17:19] Olivia**
But I don't have trunks.
**[17:22] Kasumi**
Especially not a foreign brand.
**[17:24] Hanako**
I'll have my butler get us some, then.
**[17:26] Hanako**
Hello? Maeda?
**[17:26] Kasumi**
*Wait, is Hanako rich?*
**[17:27] Hanako**
It's me, Hanako. Get me some trunks.
**[17:29] Hanako**
The foreign brand that has with
the Japanese emblem-looking thing.
**[17:31] ---**
All right, final match!
**[17:33] Kasumi**
Wait, Hanako-san, maybe we
should do this normally.
**[17:36] Hanako**
It's fine.
**[17:37] Hanako**
Get on, Kasumi-san.
**[17:43] Hanako**
*I don't know, it's too shallow.*
**[18:02] Kasumi**
Um...
**[18:03] Kasumi**
Could you please stop staring at my chest?
**[18:06] Hanako**
Sorry.
**[18:07] Hanako**
They're just so huge.
**[18:09] Kasumi**
* I've never seen anyone say that*
* with such a straight face.*
**[18:12] Olivia**
You're so busty, Kasumi.
**[18:15] Hanako**
Yes.
**[18:16] Hanako**
She's got huge boobs.
**[18:17] Hanako**
But so what?
**[18:19] Hanako**
Is a lady with big boobs
going to bring world peace?
**[18:22] Kasumi**
Sorry, Hanako, I feel bad.
**[18:23] Olivia**
How do you get them so big?
**[18:28] Kasumi**
Genetics.
**[18:29] Hanako**
I'mma go be born from a
big boobed lady's womb!
**[18:31] Hanako**
I'll see you in a future life!
**[18:31] Olivia**
Hanako, no!
**[18:33] Hanako**
Please, let me die!
**[18:34] Hanako**
My mommy in this life is a washboard!
**[18:37] Kasumi**
H-Hey, there's another way to get
them bigger, besides genetics.
**[18:42] Kasumi**
You get fat.
**[18:44] Hanako**
That's pretty easy.
**[18:45] Kasumi**
It is.
**[18:46] Kasumi**
It's not too bad, if you have
strong knees and organs.
**[18:49] Olivia**
Wait, what degree of
obesity are you talking?!
**[18:52] Olivia**
My mom's got an hourglass figure.
**[18:55] Olivia**
I have lots to look forward to.
**[18:58] Hanako**
Your type gets old early.
**[19:01] Olivia**
*Wh-What an asshole.*
**[19:03] Hanako**
I found a good pizza place the other day.
**[19:07] Hanako**
Let's go there sometime. My treat.
**[19:09] Olivia**
Nah, I don't want to impose.
**[19:11] Olivia**
You might be trying to get me
fat, but I won't fall for it.
**[19:17] Hanako**
What are you talking about?
**[19:18] Hanako**
I'm not trying to get you
to look like Jabba *** Hutt.
**[19:23] Olivia**
* Then what's with the extremely specific*
* visual I'm seeing behind you?*
**[19:26] Olivia**
Take this, Hanako!
**[19:36] Sensei**
*Sounds like they're having fun.*
**[19:40] Sensei**
*I-I have a bad feeling about this.*
**[19:44] Sensei**
Um... Girls?
**[19:47] Sensei**
There's something seeping through.
**[19:48] Sensei**
What are you...
**[19:49] Hanako**
Shoot!
**[19:50] Kasumi**
I don't want him to see
us in school swimsuits.
**[19:52] Sensei**
May I open the door?
**[19:53] Hanako**
W-W-Wait, Sensei, don't open it!
**[19:55] Sensei**
But...
**[19:56] Hanako**
L-Listen, Sensei...
**[19:58] Hanako**
I got this.
**[20:00] Hanako**
Olivia-chan couldn't hold it in.
**[20:05] Sensei**
*She couldn't hold it in?*
**[20:07] Sensei**
*But it's clear...*
**[20:12] Sensei**
*Right.*
**[20:13] Sensei**
*When in doubt, find out.*
**[20:16] Sensei**
*Only one truth prevails.*
**[20:24] Sensei**
I tried licking it, but
it just tastes like water.
**[20:27] Hanako**
What is this guy doing?!
**[20:29] Sensei**
I'm really saddened that you lied to me.
**[20:35] Hanako**
S-Sorry.
**[20:39] Hanako**
That's not Olivia's pee.
**[20:42] Hanako**
It's just water.
**[20:44] Sensei**
I see.
**[20:46] Olivia**
I-Is it just me, or was
he disappointed just now?
**[20:50] Sensei**
I'm really happy that you told me the truth.
**[20:54] Sensei**
Thank you, girls.
**[20:57] Sensei**
Continue being honest.
**[20:59] Hanako**
Okay, Sensei.
**[21:02] Sensei**
Be sure to clean up the water later.
**[21:04] Hanako**
Okay.
**[21:07] Olivia**
He's a good person.
**[21:10] Hanako**
Are you serious?!
**[21:11] Hanako**
I was just playing along so he'd
go home without a confrontation!
**[21:14] Hanako**
What he did was super gross!
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
**[22:48] ---**
Asobi Asobase!
***SIGN*** Japanese Pastimes, Please
**[22:59] Olivia**
What shall we do?
**[23:00] Hanako**
What to do?
**[23:02] Narrator**
*Daruma Otoshi.*
***SIGN*** Daruma Otoshi
**[23:04] Narrator**
* A game — or rather, a hunt —*
* played primarily by popular girls.*
***SIGN*** Strait-laced boys
**[23:11] Narrator**
* The winner is the girl who,*
* at a mixer or drinking party,*
**[23:17] Narrator**
* manages to seduce and drive mad a*
* strait-laced boy with no interest in women,*
***SIGN*** Blonde Hair and Blue Eyes
**[23:20] Narrator**
*with her sheer womanly wiles.*
**[23:23] Narrator**
* There are no particular rules*
* or dos or do-nots to this game.*
***SIGN*** Wealth
**[23:30] [SONG] ---**
Misandrist
**[23:30] Kasumi**
Um... what do I do?
**[23:31] Kasumi**
Um...
**[23:32] Kasumi**
Dudes are so gross, damn it!
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
**[23:38] ---**
Asobi Asobase!
# 2 - Killing Time | Friendship Game | The Witch Trials | Non-title Match
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/G6MEG24VR/asobi-asobase---workshop-of-fun--)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Killing Time
**[01:34] President**
Sh-Should I become the
student council president,
**[01:37] President**
I will c-c-commit to providing the best
school life possible for our students.
**[01:46] President**
P-Please and th-thank you.
**[01:51] Person A**
Thank you.
**[01:52] President**
*I couldn't talk straight.*
**[01:53] Person A**
Next, we will move on to campaign speeches.
**[01:54] President**
*It's hopeless, I'm definitely going to lose.*
**[01:56] President**
*Her speech just now was so confident.*
**[01:58] President**
*She got so much applause.*
**[02:00] President**
* She's pretty and outgoing and*
* the other students love her.*
**[02:04] President**
*I don't stand a chance.*
**[02:06] President**
*Why did I even run?*
**[02:09] President**
* I wanted to be in the spotlight just*
* once, but maybe I was wanting too much.*
**[02:15] Person B**
Have you given up already?
**[02:17] Person B**
I haven't done my campaign speech yet.
**[02:20] Person A**
Next...
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[02:23] Narrator**
* These are the events soon*
* after Pass Club was formed.*
**[02:29] Hanako**
I'm so bored.
**[02:32] Hanako**
It's been a week since we made Pass
Club, but nothing's happened so far.
**[02:37] Olivia**
*Sh-She's turning into Dali's Clock again.*
**[02:40] Hanako**
The room's empty.
**[02:41] Hanako**
There's nothing to play with.
**[02:43] Hanako**
We don't ever go to Shibuya.
**[02:45] Olivia**
*Why don't you just go, then?*
**[02:47] Hanako**
What is this, are we supposed to just dry up?
**[02:49] Olivia**
W-Want to play kendama?
**[02:51] Hanako**
You like *kendama*, don't you, Olivia?
**[02:54] Hanako**
Thanks.
**[02:56] Text**
*Omikoshi.*
***SIGN*** Omikoshi
***SIGN*** Airplane
**[02:58] Text**
*Airplane.*
***SIGN*** High
**[03:01] Text**
*High Noon.*
***SIGN*** High Noon
**[03:03] Hanako**
We've only been doing
kendama this whole week.
**[03:06] Olivia**
*She's gotten ridiculously good.*
**[03:11] Kasumi**
*It looks like a real club.*
**[03:14] Kasumi**
Sorry I'm late.
**[03:15] Hanako**
Where were you?
**[03:17] Kasumi**
At the staff office, registering the club.
**[03:18] Hanako**
You hadn't done that yet?
**[03:20] Olivia**
How did it go?
**[03:21] Kasumi**
They rejected it.
**[03:24] Hanako**
Why?
**[03:25] Kasumi**
We can't make a club with just three people.
**[03:28] Kasumi**
So I asked if we could at
least make it a circle,
**[03:31] Kasumi**
but the school council president was against
it, saying the activities were unclear.
**[03:36] Hanako**
There's nothing we can do about that, then.
**[03:38] Kasumi**
We were supposed to get 10,000
yen in funds, even for a circle.
**[03:43] Hanako**
Let's negotiate!
**[03:44] Hanako**
This is war!
***SIGN*** Student Council Room
**[03:49] President**
How can I help you?
**[03:51] Olivia**
*That's the president?*
**[03:53] Kasumi**
I'm here to ask about circle
registration for Pass Club.
**[03:57] President**
Pass Club.
**[03:58] President**
Right.
**[04:00] President**
Let's see...
**[04:01] President**
The Pastimers Club.
**[04:03] President**
*Say what?*
**[04:05] President**
What do you do in the club?
**[04:06] Hanako**
We become popular kids.
**[04:09] President**
Popular kids.
**[04:11] President**
*What the hell is this kid talking about?*
**[04:13] Olivia**
That's not true.
**[04:14] Olivia**
We pass time.
**[04:16] President**
Huh.
**[04:17] President**
Just pass time?
**[04:20] President**
*Are they messing with me?*
**[04:21] Kasumi**
No.
**[04:22] Kasumi**
It's a more proper club.
**[04:24] Kasumi**
We study English.
**[04:26] President**
Huh.
**[04:27] President**
English.
**[04:29] President**
*What happened to passing time?*
**[04:31] President**
Let's see...
**[04:33] President**
Do it at home.
**[04:35] Hanako**
President!
**[04:36] Hanako**
Shall I grovel?
**[04:37] Hanako**
If you want me to grovel, I'll
kiss the floor with my forehead!
**[04:41] Hanako**
I swear, we'll make better
use of the funds than on
**[04:44] Hanako**
the new national stadium construction!
**[04:47] Olivia**
Stop, Hanako.
**[04:48] President**
Umm...
**[04:50] Kasumi**
We take the club seriously.
**[04:55] Kasumi**
What issue do you have with us?
**[05:00] President**
*These eyes...*
**[05:02] President**
* They're the same as the girl who*
* did that campaign speech for me.*
**[05:06] President**
All right.
**[05:08] President**
Then why don't we decide
over a game of Othello?
**[05:10] President**
If you win, we'll grant you
the 10,000 in club funds.
**[05:14] President**
Let's play best of three on a 6x6 board
so we can find the winner quickly.
**[05:17] Hanako**
Really?!
**[05:18] Olivia**
You're so kind, President.
**[05:21] Narrator**
*One loss.*
***SIGN*** Lost all her pieces
**[05:22] Narrator**
*Two losses.*
**[05:23] Olivia**
Hanako...
**[05:25] Hanako**
D-Don't worry.
**[05:26] Hanako**
I'm actually pretty good at Othello.
**[05:28] President**
* It's kind of awkward to tell them it's over*
* since they've already lost two matches.*
**[05:33] President**
W-Would you like to move first or second?
**[05:36] Hanako**
First!
**[05:36] Olivia**
Good luck, Hanako-san!
**[05:40] Hanako**
* I've never played 6x6 before, but*
* there's a trick to winning Othello.*
**[05:45] Hanako**
* The first person to break*
* the inner line loses.*
**[05:48] Hanako**
*And you take the corners.*
**[05:50] Hanako**
*That way...*
**[05:51] Hanako**
Wait, I'm out of hands?!
**[05:53] President**
There's nothing to say that the first
person who leaves the inner line loses.
**[05:58] President**
And you're better off not flipping
too many pieces until the mid-game.
**[06:01] President**
You'll run out of pieces
to flip in the mid-game.
**[06:04] President**
Also...
**[06:05] President**
As long as you don't mess up, 6x6
strongly favors the second player.
**[06:17] Hanako**
I wanted the 10,000 yen!
**[06:19] Olivia**
That president was amazing, though.
**[06:22] Olivia**
She really was like a proper president.
**[06:24] Hanako**
Not really.
**[06:25] Hanako**
She had a pretty bad chance after
her own speech at the election.
**[06:28] Kasumi**
That's true.
**[06:29] Kasumi**
I remember the vice president
said in her campaign speech...
**[06:33] VP**
I don't really care to tell you
what's so nice about the president.
**[06:40] VP**
All that really matters is the results.
**[06:44] VP**
You don't know until you try.
**[06:47] VP**
So all I can say is...
**[06:51] VP**
If you don't vote for her, be careful when
you're out at night and of what you eat.
**[07:04] Hanako**
That was what won her the election.
**[07:05] Kasumi**
I know, I didn't want to die yet.
**[07:08] Olivia**
*That's intimidation!*
**[07:09] President**
* And since I won the election, I was*
* hoping to be in the spotlight, but...*
**[07:13] President**
* Being the student council president*
* was a lot more drab than I'd expected.*
**[07:17] President**
* I wonder if those three*
* will come hang out again.*
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Friendship Game
**[07:25] Sensei**
I'm handing back the English tests.
**[07:29] Sensei**
Togawa-san.
**[07:30] Togawa**
Yes.
**[07:30] Sensei**
Nakata-san.
**[07:31] Nakata**
Yes.
**[07:32] Sensei**
Nomura-san.
**[07:33] Kasumi**
Yes.
***SIGN*** Nomura Kasumi
**[07:36] Kasumi**
*What the hell?*
**[07:38] Kasumi**
* I'm hanging out with Olivia-san, and*
* yet my grade's dropping even further.*
**[07:43] Kasumi**
*Why?*
**[07:45] Kasumi**
* But come to think of it, Olivia-san*
* hasn't taught me English at all.*
**[07:50] Kasumi**
* Oh yeah, when I was working on the*
* English handouts in the club room...*
**[07:55] (Flashback) Hanako**
Kasumi-san, that part's wrong.
**[07:58] (Flashback) Hanako**
That's past tense, so it's
"did you," not "do you."
**[08:01] (Flashback) Hanako**
Also, you wrote "geri" instead of "girl."
**[08:03] (Flashback) Kasumi**
Th-Thank you.
**[08:05] Kasumi**
* Hanako-san taught me that,*
* but Olivia-san didn't say anything.*
**[08:11] Kasumi**
*Olivia-san didn't say anything.*
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[08:15] Hanako**
Okay, Olivia, I'll start.
**[08:17] Hanako**
I finally get to play the new third
edition of Boys' School Wars!
**[08:22] Hanako**
My turn!
**[08:23] Hanako**
Gonda of the Sumo Club!
***SIGN*** Sumo Club - Gonda
Giant Student Effect: Shove
Deal 4 damage to enemy regardless of their skills.
Cannot attack when "Hot Pot" card is active.
Sumo wrestlers are very sensitive about seniority.
Be extra careful when going to karaoke with him.
**[08:25] Hanako**
Deals 4 damage with Shove!
**[08:27] Hanako**
And I'll summon Kamiya of the Tea Club,
and activate Folded Leg Endurance!
***SIGN*** Tea Club - Kamiya
Proper Student
Effect: Folded Leg Endurance
Resist one attack (up to 10)
**[08:32] Hanako**
End turn!
**[08:33] Hanako**
Okay, Olivia.
**[08:34] Olivia**
*What am I supposed to do?*
**[08:36] Olivia**
*She just taught me the rules.*
**[08:40] Olivia**
*What do I do?*
**[08:42] Olivia**
*Hey, he has really high damage output.*
**[08:44] Olivia**
For my turn, umm...
***SIGN*** Blue-eyed Delinquent
Delinquent Student Effect: Summon Gals with a Wink
Take up to three Gal cards from the deck and add to your hand.
If there is at least one Gal card in play, the Protagonist Attribute is activated.
The Protagonist Attribute triples Attack and increases Defense five-fold until the end of the battle.
"There, there, you were lonely, too, huh?" he said, as he cradled the kitten.
**[08:49] Olivia**
I'm playing Summon Gals with a
Wink with Blue-eyed Delinquent.
**[08:53] Hanako**
Olivia!
**[08:55] Hanako**
That's the legendary ultimate card!
**[08:57] Hanako**
That thing costs a premium!
**[08:59] Olivia**
Really?
**[09:00] Olivia**
I got forced to buy it
at the convenience store.
**[09:02] Olivia**
I never knew it was so valuable.
**[09:03] Hanako**
Gimme! Please!
**[09:04] Hanako**
You aren't interested in
this card game, are you?
**[09:06] Hanako**
It's just a piece of scrap
paper to you, Olivia!
**[09:09] Hanako**
Please, I'm begging you!
**[09:11] Hanako**
I'll pay 143 yen for it!
**[09:13] Olivia**
*143 yen for a valuable card?*
**[09:16] Kasumi**
Hey, Olivia-san...
**[09:17] Olivia**
Yes?
**[09:18] Hanako**
What's up, Kasumi-san?
**[09:20] Hanako**
Err...
**[09:21] Hanako**
You look pretty serious.
**[09:23] Kasumi**
U-Um...
**[09:26] Kasumi**
Err... umm...
**[09:30] Kasumi**
About English...
**[09:36] Kasumi**
*She looked away just now.*
**[09:39] Kasumi**
H-How did you do on your English test?
**[09:43] Hanako**
Okay, I guess?
**[09:45] Hanako**
I made some careless mistakes
and got 92 percent.
**[09:46] Kasumi**
*Wait, Hanako-san's smart?*
**[09:48] Kasumi**
Wh-What about you?
**[09:52] Olivia**
Okay, I guess?
**[09:54] Kasumi**
What did you get?
**[09:55] Olivia**
I made some careless mistakes
and got 25 percent.
**[09:58] Kasumi**
*Err, that wouldn't be a careless mistake.*
**[10:00] Hanako**
Wait a second...
**[10:02] Hanako**
Are you actually bad at English?
**[10:05] Olivia**
N-No!
**[10:05] Hanako**
Are you actually from
Europe rather than the US?
**[10:08] Hanako**
Did you not speak much English?
**[10:10] Olivia**
* I-I want to say that's it, but I feel like*
* it's going to get even more complicated.*
**[10:14] Olivia**
N-No...
**[10:16] Kasumi**
Were you lying to me?
**[10:19] Olivia**
No!
**[10:20] Olivia**
I wasn't lying to you!
**[10:22] Kasumi**
Olivia?
**[10:22] Olivia**
I wasn't lying to you, I was just messing!
**[10:26] Olivia**
With Hanako!
**[10:28] Kasumi**
But so you can't speak English, then?
**[10:35] Olivia**
Would you want to stop hanging out
with me if I couldn't speak English?
**[10:45] Kasumi**
Not at all.
**[10:47] Kasumi**
We're already club buddies.
**[10:53] Olivia**
Kasumi...
**[10:55] Kasumi**
Olivia-san...
**[11:04] Hanako**
Hey, can you ask that to me, too?
**[11:07] Olivia**
Ask what?
**[11:08] Hanako**
"Would you still want to hang out
with me if I couldn't speak English?"
**[11:11] Olivia**
*Hanako doesn't care about English.*
**[11:14] Olivia**
*Of course she'd say yes.*
**[11:17] Hanako**
Would you still want to hang out
with me if I couldn't speak English?
**[11:22] Hanako**
I had a feeling since part way through
Episode 1, but I stuck around.
**[11:26] Olivia**
*She's so patronizing!*
**[11:28] Olivia**
*But whatever.*
**[11:30] Olivia**
I love you, too, Hanako.
**[11:32] Kasumi**
Me, too.
**[11:33] Hanako**
Come on, guys.
**[11:35] Hanako**
Jeez, stop it.
**[11:36] Hanako**
You're so needy.
**[11:51] Olivia**
Let's have more fun together going forward.
**[11:54] Hanako**
Yeah.
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** The Witch Trials
**[12:04] Sensei**
Makeup is banned at our school.
**[12:06] Sensei**
I'm confiscating these.
**[12:07] Girl**
Okay.
**[12:09] Hanako**
*Stupid popular girls.*
**[12:10] Hanako**
*I don't have any makeup.*
**[12:13] Hanako**
*This doesn't hurt me one bit.*
**[12:15] Hanako**
* Besides, you're just going to wreck*
* your skin wearing makeup at our age.*
**[12:19] Hanako**
*It'll make a difference when we're thirty.*
**[12:21] Hanako**
*When we're thirty!*
**[12:23] Hanako**
*Watch this, you popular sluts.*
**[12:26] Hanako**
*See how much of a good girl I am!*
**[12:28] Sensei**
Honda-san.
**[12:29] Hanako**
Yes?
**[12:29] Sensei**
What is this?
***SIGN*** Boys' School Wars Official Fan Book
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[12:35] Hanako**
That wretched bureaucrat!
**[12:37] Kasumi**
Y-You just ended up exposing
how much of a nerd you are.
**[12:40] Olivia**
Did they get confiscated?
**[12:41] Hanako**
Yes!
**[12:42] Hanako**
Oh yeah, how did you do it, Olivia?
**[12:44] Olivia**
Huh?
**[12:45] Hanako**
I mean...
**[12:46] Sensei**
Olivia-san, your bag is empty.
**[12:49] Olivia**
Yes.
**[12:50] Sensei**
You haven't brought anything?
**[12:52] Olivia**
I have not.
**[12:53] Olivia**
I forgot everything.
**[12:56] Sensei**
I see.
**[12:57] Sensei**
You forgot, did you?
**[12:58] Sensei**
Fair enough.
**[12:59] Olivia**
Yes.
**[13:02] Hanako**
Damn it, I should have done that, too.
**[13:07] Hanako**
What about you, Kasumi-san?
**[13:08] Kasumi**
I was fine.
**[13:10] Hanako**
Your books, too?
**[13:11] Kasumi**
I borrowed a book from the library.
***SIGN*** Learn English Through Slang!
**[13:13] Hanako**
You get a pass if it's from the library, huh?
**[13:15] Hanako**
Let's lay our stuff out on our desks.
**[13:18] Olivia**
That sounds fun.
***SIGN*** Book Keys Transit pass Pen case Coin purse Glasses case Flip phone Textbooks Notebooks
***SIGN*** Textbooks Notebooks Wallet Tissues Smartphone Transit pass Keys Pencil case Candies
***SIGN*** Wallet Smartphone Textbooks Notebooks Comb Gum Lunch box Handkerchief Pen case
**[13:23] Hanako**
*Yup, found the devil's woven bag.*
**[13:26] Hanako**
My, my, what do we have here?
**[13:29] Hanako**
Whose is this?
**[13:30] Olivia**
Mine.
**[13:33] Hanako**
This is yours, eh, Olivia-san?
**[13:35] Hanako**
I have before me an implement for
tainting the minds of wholesome women,
**[13:39] Hanako**
turning them into sl*ts.
**[13:41] Olivia**
Um...
**[13:42] Olivia**
It's just a makeup pouch.
**[13:44] Hanako**
A makeup pouch?
**[13:47] Hanako**
You could be put on trial for carrying
such unwholesome bags of the devil, lady.
**[13:53] Kasumi**
No...
**[13:54] Kasumi**
* Hanako-san's jealous that Olivia-san has*
* popular girl stuff when she doesn't!*
**[13:58] Hanako**
Defendant, are you prepared
to confess your sins?
**[14:01] Olivia**
* I'm pretty sure this is moments*
* before my sentence, not my trial.*
**[14:06] Olivia**
I-I carry this for my studies.
**[14:11] Hanako**
Continue.
**[14:13] Kasumi**
*She took it!*
**[14:14] Olivia**
Think about it.
**[14:16] Olivia**
If you go to school wearing makeup,
you get told you're ridiculous.
**[14:19] Olivia**
But when you graduate
and join the work force,
**[14:21] Olivia**
you get told you're ridiculous
if you *don't* wear makeup.
**[14:23] Olivia**
So how are you supposed to know how
to put on makeup when you go to work,
**[14:27] Olivia**
if you hadn't done it
while you were in school?
**[14:29] Kasumi**
Isn't that something you learn
while you're in college?
**[14:31] Olivia**
What about people who find
work right after high school?
**[14:33] Olivia**
Do they learn during spring break?
**[14:35] Olivia**
Do you really think you can get that
good in the two weeks of spring break?
**[14:40] Olivia**
Not a chance.
**[14:41] Olivia**
That's why I'm secretly practicing my makeup,
**[14:44] Olivia**
so that I don't have to
embarrass myself later.
**[14:47] Kasumi**
We've heard her position.
**[14:49] Kasumi**
What do you think, Hanako-san?
**[14:50] Hanako**
Yup, yup.
***SIGN*** Yup Yup
**[14:51] Kasumi**
*She's* really *into it.*
**[14:52] Hanako**
I see.
**[14:54] Hanako**
So when we do makeup, it's strictly
only to learn adult skills
**[14:58] Hanako**
so that we don't embarrass
ourselves when we're grown up.
**[15:01] Hanako**
We aren't trying to attract guys,
so we're absolutely not being sl*ts!
**[15:05] Hanako**
Therefore, I, Hanako, shall
henceforth do makeup!
**[15:09] Olivia**
You get it!
**[15:11] Kasumi**
* Olivia-san's getting good*
* at handling Hanako-san.*
**[15:14] Olivia**
Why don't we practice
putting on makeup, then?
**[15:17] Hanako**
Okay!
**[15:19] Hanako**
Where do I start?
**[15:21] Hanako**
Teach me, Olivia.
**[15:23] Kasumi**
* She's like someone having French*
* food for the first time.*
**[15:27] Kasumi**
Huh?
**[15:28] Kasumi**
Olivia-san?
**[15:29] Olivia**
First... the cheeks?
**[15:32] Kasumi**
*Cheeks? As in, blush?*
**[15:33] Kasumi**
*Wait, has she not done this before?*
**[15:35] Kasumi**
Sh-Shouldn't you start with toner?
**[15:38] Hanako**
Huh? You know this stuff, Kasumi-san?
**[15:39] Kasumi**
I-I have an older sister, so I know a little.
**[15:42] Kasumi**
And then lotion.
**[15:44] Kasumi**
It doubles as a makeup base and sunscreen.
**[15:46] Kasumi**
And then foundation, I think?
**[15:49] Kasumi**
That doesn't make a difference.
**[15:51] Kasumi**
You have nice skin to begin with, Hanako-san.
**[15:53] Kasumi**
I guess it doesn't do much.
**[15:55] Kasumi**
And then shading...
**[15:56] Olivia**
Let's put on some eye shadow!
**[16:00] Olivia**
*She looks like she got punched.*
**[16:02] Hanako**
Hey, do that half face makeup
thing they do on magazines.
**[16:06] Hanako**
I want to see the before and after.
**[16:08] Olivia**
O-Okay.
**[16:10] Olivia**
I'll do one of your cheeks, then.
**[16:12] Kasumi**
You can really tell you're wearing makeup
when you put on blush. It's nice.
**[16:20] Olivia**
*Now she looks like she got punched twice.*
**[16:25] Hanako**
How do I look?
**[16:26] Olivia**
You look cute.
**[16:29] Sensei**
Honda-san!
**[16:31] Hanako**
S-Sensei!
**[16:31] Hanako**
No no, no no!
**[16:33] Sensei**
* Judging from the angle, she must*
* have been beaten up by those two.*
**[16:37] Sensei**
Olivia-san, Nomura-san,
come to the faculty room.
**[16:41] Hanako**
Wait, S-Sensei, I'm the one at fault here.
**[16:45] Sensei**
Don't worry, Honda-san.
**[16:47] Sensei**
You're fine.
**[16:48] Sensei**
Nomura-san, hurry up and
finish that mochi ice cream.
**[16:52] Kasumi**
No, it's a puff.
**[16:54] Hanako**
*Wait, has Sensei never put on makeup before?*
**[17:00] Hanako**
Lucky!
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Non-title Match
**[17:08] Kasumi**
Found it.
**[17:10] Kasumi**
Thank goodness.
**[17:11] Kasumi**
*Good thing it never fell on top of someone.*
**[17:13] Kasumi**
* I have to finish cleaning*
* and get to the club.*
**[17:16] Kasumi**
*Hanako-san and Olivia-san must be waiting.*
**[17:21] Kasumi**
*Huh? That voice...*
**[17:25] Kasumi**
*It's Hanako-san.*
**[17:28] Kasumi**
*What's she doing, though?*
**[17:30] Kasumi**
*Practice swings?*
**[17:32] Kasumi**
* I wonder if Hanako-san still wants*
* to go back to the Soft Tennis Club.*
**[17:40] Kasumi**
Huh?
**[17:41] Kasumi**
*It's a hagoita.*
**[17:45] Kasumi**
*I'm going to pretend I didn't see that.*
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[17:48] Olivia**
You're late, Kasumi.
**[17:49] Kasumi**
I-I was on cleaning duty.
**[17:51] Olivia**
Oh, was it you today?
**[17:53] Olivia**
Hanako isn't here yet.
**[17:54] Olivia**
Was she on duty, too?
**[17:56] Kasumi**
D-Dunno.
**[17:57] Kasumi**
She's probably spying on
popular kids or something.
**[18:01] Olivia**
I can picture that.
**[18:09] Kasumi**
*She just showed right up.*
**[18:11] Olivia**
Wh-What are you holding?
**[18:13] Hanako**
Takeshi-sama.
**[18:14] Olivia**
Hm?
**[18:15] Hanako**
A Blue-eyed Delinquent hagoita
from Boys' School Wars.
**[18:18] Hanako**
Custom-made.
**[18:20] Olivia**
H-Huh.
**[18:21] Olivia**
That's great.
**[18:22] Hanako**
I have them for you two, too.
**[18:23] Olivia**
*I really don't want this!*
**[18:25] Olivia**
Thanks.
**[18:27] Hanako**
Let's bring these with us to
take down the Soft Tennis Club!
**[18:31] Kasumi**
*So that's what that was about.*
**[18:34] Olivia**
With hagoitas?
**[18:35] Hanako**
Yeah.
**[18:36] Hanako**
They wouldn't stand a chance
if I used a normal racket.
**[18:38] Hanako**
It's a handicap, I guess.
**[18:40] Kasumi**
Wait, we haven't played soft tennis before.
**[18:45] Sensei**
Honda-san!
**[18:46] Sensei**
You're back?!
**[18:49] Sensei**
Jeez, the prefectural preliminaries were
brutal since you pulled out, you know.
**[18:53] Hanako**
Wait, Sensei, that's not it.
**[18:55] Hanako**
I'm here today for a non-title
match against the soft tennis club.
**[19:00] Sensei**
Huh? What for?
**[19:02] Hanako**
What for, you ask?
**[19:04] Hanako**
Because I'm faced with my sworn enemies.
***SIGN*** Sworn Enemies
***SIGN*** Popular Kids
**[19:07] Sensei**
*No one can come out happy by that reasoning.*
**[19:09] A**
Sensei, we can't play real matches.
**[19:12] B**
I'm out of sweat wipes right now.
I don't want to sweat too much.
**[19:16] Sensei**
*Ugh...*
**[19:17] Hanako**
*Ugh...*
**[19:17] Sensei**
H-Honda-san, we accept the challenge.
**[19:21] Sensei**
But...
**[19:22] Sensei**
If we win, you have to come
back to the soft tennis club.
**[19:26] Hanako**
I'm in.
**[19:27] Kasumi**
Are you sure about that condition?
**[19:29] Kasumi**
It seems full of all kinds of holes.
**[19:31] Sensei**
All right, kids, we're
winning no matter what!
**[19:33] Sensei**
We'll win ugly if we have to.
**[19:34] Sensei**
Go for the eyes! The eyes!
**[19:36] A**
Sensei, are you sure it's a good idea to
hit a member you want in her weak spot?
**[19:39] Sensei**
Pass Club, service.
**[19:41] Hanako**
Tremble before me!
**[19:44] Hanako**
This is the Green-eyed Serve!
**[19:47] Sensei**
There it is!
**[19:48] Sensei**
The phrase by Shakespeare representing
jealousy in his play, Othello,
**[19:51] Sensei**
"green-eyed monster"!
**[19:53] Sensei**
Honda-san's special serve!
**[20:01] Hanako**
It couldn't stand up to Takeshi-sama's nose!
**[20:04] Olivia**
Use the back side, Hanako!
**[20:06] Hanako**
I had Takeshi-san put on both
sides when I ordered it.
**[20:08] Olivia**
Are you nuts?!
**[20:09] Hanako**
I'll go think of something.
**[20:11] Hanako**
Handle this, guys!
**[20:14] Olivia**
Wh-What do we do?
**[20:15] Kasumi**
I-It's fine.
**[20:16] Kasumi**
I'm good at physics.
**[20:23] Kasumi**
*I can see the ball's trajectory.*
**[20:26] Kasumi**
* Horizontal acceleration, vertical*
* acceleration, gravity, drag...*
***SIGN*** Calculating
**[20:32] Kasumi**
* All these factors determine the*
* ball's parabolic trajectory.*
**[20:36] Kasumi**
*Now!*
**[20:42] Kasumi**
My calculation was impeccable.
**[20:45] Olivia**
S-Sure.
**[20:46] Olivia**
Seriously, it's okay.
**[20:48] Olivia**
I believe you.
**[20:49] Hanako**
I'm back, guys.
**[20:52] Olivia**
Hanako...
**[20:53] Olivia**
Did you...
**[20:55] Olivia**
You broke it?!
**[20:57] Kasumi**
We can break these?
**[20:59] Olivia**
It's in the way for me, too.
**[21:00] Hanako**
Olivia!
**[21:01] Hanako**
What are you doing?!
**[21:03] Olivia**
But you broke yours.
**[21:04] Hanako**
I was crying!
**[21:06] Hanako**
I never gave you permission!
**[21:08] Hanako**
Right, Kasumi-san?
***SIGN*** Peeled off
**[21:10] Hanako**
Kasumi-san!
**[21:11] A**
Sorry to interrupt, but can we continue?
**[21:14] Hanako**
O-Of course.
**[21:16] Hanako**
I'm going to play seriously now.
**[21:18] A**
Yeah?
**[21:19] B**
You are, huh?
**[21:21] A**
We lose, then.
**[21:23] B**
The mixer afterwards is going
to suck if I sweat any more.
**[21:29] A**
Thank you, Sensei.
**[21:30] B**
See you tomorrow.
**[21:33] Kasumi**
Um...
**[21:34] Kasumi**
Do you have glue?
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Japanese Pastimes, Please
**[23:11] Kasumi**
I wonder what we're doing today.
**[23:12] Hanako**
I dunno.
***SIGN*** Ring toss
**[23:13] Narrator**
*Ring toss.*
**[23:15] Narrator**
* A game in which rings are*
* thrown to win prizes.*
***SIGN*** Prize
**[23:19] Narrator**
* However, the prize is often*
* larger than the ring,*
**[23:23] Narrator**
* making it unwinnable, or*
* moving just to piss you off.*
**[23:25] Narrator**
* They clearly have no intention*
* of letting you win.*
**[23:28] Olivia**
I'm so pissed.
**[23:29] Hanako**
Do it, Kasumi!
**[23:31] Kasumi**
I don't need this shit!
***SIGN*** I don't need this shit!
**[23:36] Hanako**
You'd seriously hammer it?!
***SIGN*** You'd seriously hammer it?!
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
# 3 - A Battle That Must Be Won | Puppets | Betting My Life
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/G6MEG24VR/asobi-asobase---workshop-of-fun--)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** A Battle That Must Be Won
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[01:35] Olivia**
Issei no se, two!
**[01:38] Hanako**
I lost.
**[01:40] Olivia**
You owe me a drink.
**[01:42] Hanako**
Oh, fine.
**[01:43] Kasumi**
Uh...
**[01:45] Kasumi**
I don't think we should
do that kind of thing.
**[01:49] Olivia**
What kind of thing?
**[01:51] Kasumi**
L-Like, penalties where the loser
gets ordered to go do stuff.
**[01:55] Kasumi**
I don't think it's good.
**[01:57] Olivia**
You tried to make me teach
you English at first, too.
**[02:01] Kasumi**
N-No, I'm just saying it's bad to
order people around to go do stuff.
**[02:05] Hanako**
I don't mind, though.
**[02:07] Kasumi**
No!
**[02:08] Kasumi**
Hanako-san, it always starts off simple,
but it can escalate before you know it!
***SIGN*** Pout
**[02:15] Hanako**
*Oh, shoot.*
**[02:18] Hanako**
Kasumi-san's just being nice, Olivia.
**[02:21] Hanako**
It can get out of control and
become vicious, you know?
**[02:27] Olivia**
I-I never had that kind of intention.
**[02:31] Olivia**
I just wanted to make it fun.
**[02:34] Olivia**
But... Sorry.
**[02:39] Kasumi**
Well, I killed the vibe, too.
**[02:43] Kasumi**
Then you can choose a penalty, as long as
it's not ordering people to go do stuff.
***SIGN*** Mweeeheehee
**[02:53] Hanako**
*She seems so happy.*
**[02:56] Olivia**
Oh, hey, there's a game penalty that's
customary where my Mom and Dad are from.
**[03:01] Hanako**
A penalty from your parents' country?
**[03:03] Olivia**
Yeah.
**[03:04] Kasumi**
What's the penalty?
**[03:05] Olivia**
The loser has to sniff the winner's armpit.
**[03:09] Hanako**
What the hell?!
**[03:10] Hanako**
Is that really a custom where you're from?!
**[03:12] Hanako**
It's not just something your family does?!
**[03:14] Olivia**
No, it's not.
**[03:15] Olivia**
It's a traditional thing in our culture.
**[03:18] Hanako**
No way, I swear, it's only in your family.
**[03:20] Hanako**
You can't turn it into something so grand.
**[03:22] Kasumi**
I-I can't object to culture.
**[03:25] Olivia**
Yay.
**[03:25] Hanako**
Kasumi-san's a slave to culture!
**[03:28] Olivia**
Okay, let's play issei no se.
**[03:30] Hanako**
Fine.
**[03:31] Olivia**
You first, Hanako.
**[03:32] Hanako**
Issei no se... three!
**[03:34] Hanako**
Yay, I win.
**[03:36] Olivia**
What are you talking about?
**[03:37] Olivia**
In this case, the winner takes the penalty.
**[03:42] Hanako**
Fine, I'll sniff Kasumi-san's first.
**[03:44] Kasumi**
I-I'll pass.
**[03:47] Olivia**
You can't.
**[03:48] Olivia**
You have to let Hanako take her penalty.
***SIGN*** Sniff
**[03:53] Hanako**
It doesn't smell!
**[03:58] Hanako**
You're okay, Kasumi-san.
You didn't smell at all.
**[04:02] Kasumi**
O-Okay.
**[04:03] ---**
Okay, next!
***SIGN*** Sniff Sniff
***SIGN*** Apocrine sweat glands!
**[04:08] Olivia**
Huh?
**[04:09] Olivia**
What's apocrine?
**[04:10] Kasumi**
Uh... You don't need to
know if you don't already.
**[04:13] Kasumi**
*Huh? Why is Hanako-san making that motion?*
**[04:18] Hanako**
* Now I know why my cat grinds*
* its nose when Dad farts.*
**[04:23] Hanako**
*It's when it's extreme.*
**[04:26] Hanako**
*It's when it's extreme!*
**[04:28] Olivia**
D-Did I smell bad?
**[04:32] Hanako**
Huh? No?
**[04:34] Hanako**
*No, I can't tell her!*
**[04:35] Hanako**
* It's a fact too cruel for a*
* lady's gentle heart to take!*
**[04:39] Hanako**
Meow.
**[04:41] Hanako**
I'm pretending to be a kitty.
**[04:42] Olivia**
Oh, really?
**[04:44] Kasumi**
*That was totally not a "meow" pose.*
**[04:47] Olivia**
Okay, round two.
**[04:49] Olivia**
Oh, but no raising two fingers and
**[04:52] Olivia**
saying "one" or raising one
finger and saying "six."
**[04:54] Hanako**
*I have to win...*
**[04:55] Olivia**
*I have to win this battle!*
**[04:58] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, let's form an alliance.
**[05:00] Hanako**
The two of us both raise two fingers
so we'll have at least four.
**[05:05] Hanako**
Then, if we say either two
or three, we won't lose.
**[05:09] Kasumi**
R-Right.
**[05:11] Kasumi**
Let's go with that.
**[05:12] Kasumi**
* I'd rather not get sniffed anymore,*
* either, if I can avoid it.*
**[05:16] Kasumi**
Issei no se... three.
**[05:20] Hanako**
Issei no se... two!
**[05:25] Olivia**
Issei no se... five!
**[05:30] Kasumi**
*D-Dodged a bullet.*
**[05:34] Kasumi**
* Kasumi-san, it's okay if Olivia*
* has to take the penalty.*
**[05:40] Hanako**
*Is she...*
**[05:42] Kasumi**
*...on to us?*
**[05:42] Kasumi**
* No, but if we don't guess*
* right, it doesn't matter.*
**[05:47] Kasumi**
Issei no se... three!
**[05:50] Olivia**
You got it, Kasumi.
**[05:52] Olivia**
*Hanako-san...*
**[05:55] Olivia**
*She's not raising any!*
**[05:57] Kasumi**
*U-Unbelievable.*
**[06:00] Kasumi**
* The friendship of a girl is more*
* fragile than a microscope slide.*
**[06:03] Olivia**
Yay, you're taking the penalty, Kasumi.
**[06:07] Kasumi**
You don't want to get
sniffed, do you, Hanako-san?
**[06:10] Hanako**
Grinding your nose is a good life lesson.
**[06:18] Olivia**
Here you go, Kasumi.
**[06:22] Kasumi**
U-Um...
**[06:24] Kasumi**
Err...
**[06:27] Kasumi**
I'm going to go buy drinks for the two of you.
**[06:29] Kasumi**
So please spare me.
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Puppets
**[06:37] Sensei**
This is a shopping scene.
**[06:40] Sensei**
"Can I try it on?" is "Can I try it on?"
**[06:44] Hanako**
*Uh oh.*
**[06:46] Hanako**
* The candy I ate during break*
* period still hasn't melted.*
**[06:49] Hanako**
*I can't chew it down now.*
**[06:51] Hanako**
* But I guess it should be okay*
* as long as I don't get picked.*
**[06:54] Sensei**
Let's see...
**[06:55] Sensei**
Let's have you translate this to English.
**[06:58] Sensei**
Honda-san.
**[06:59] Hanako**
Okay.
**[07:02] Hanako**
*It's like she's doing it on purpose.*
**[07:04] Hanako**
*I have to keep it under my tongue.*
**[07:06] Hanako**
I'll take you...
**[07:09] Sensei**
*Why does she have her jaw out?*
**[07:11] Hanako**
It's...
**[07:12] [SONG] Text**
Clop
**[07:15] Hanako**
*S-Stay calm...*
**[07:18] Hanako**
* Suck it in as you say "how much?"*
* and put it back under your tongue.*
***SIGN*** Clank
**[07:27] Sensei**
H-Honda-san?!
**[07:29] Sensei**
Are you okay, Honda-san?!
***SIGN*** Faculty Room
**[07:32] Sensei**
Please don't eat candy during class.
**[07:36] Hanako**
Okay.
**[07:37] Sensei**
That was a close one.
**[07:39] Hanako**
Yes.
**[07:40] Hanako**
I'm sorry.
**[07:43] Sensei**
* I came to work at a girls' school*
* because I was afraid of boys,*
**[07:47] Sensei**
*but girls are scary, too.*
**[07:49] Sensei**
* I avoided boys because I'm afraid*
* of them, and now I'm still single.*
**[07:54] Sensei**
* Almost all of the teachers at*
* this girls' school are women.*
**[07:57] Sensei**
*I don't have a chance to meet anyone.*
**[07:59] Sensei**
*I wonder if I'm going to die alone.*
**[08:02] Sensei**
*I get worried these days.*
**[08:04] Hanako**
Hey, Sensei, can I go to my club?
**[08:07] Sensei**
Right.
**[08:08] Sensei**
You're in the soft tennis
club, right, Honda-san?
**[08:11] Hanako**
No, I left the soft tennis club recently.
**[08:14] Hanako**
I'm in the Pastimers Club.
**[08:16] Sensei**
*Pastimers?!*
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[08:18] Sensei**
M-May I come with you?
**[08:22] Hanako**
So I brought Sensei with me.
**[08:24] Sensei**
Th-Thanks for having me.
**[08:28] Kasumi**
Um...
**[08:29] Kasumi**
Did it become such a big deal that
a piece of candy nearly killed her?
**[08:32] Olivia**
To be fair, I thought her mandrake
shriek would kill me, too.
**[08:37] Sensei**
Huh?
**[08:38] Sensei**
Oh, no, it's not about that.
**[08:39] Sensei**
The candy thing's fine now.
**[08:41] Sensei**
You study pleasure seekers
in this club, right?
**[08:45] Olivia**
Huh?
**[08:46] Kasumi**
Er, yeah.
**[08:47] Sensei**
D-Do you do marriage matchmaking?
**[08:52] Kasumi**
Err, no.
**[08:54] Hanako**
*Marriage matchmaking? Middle schoolers?*
**[08:55] Sensei**
So what do you do, then?
**[08:58] Olivia**
Kendama.
**[08:59] Kasumi**
Hagoita.
**[09:00] Olivia**
We played issei no se, too.
**[09:05] Sensei**
That sounds fun.
**[09:09] Hanako**
*She seems blatantly disappointed.*
**[09:12] Kasumi**
A-Are you looking to do matchmaking?
**[09:15] Sensei**
Oh, err...
**[09:17] Sensei**
Y-Yeah.
**[09:19] Olivia**
Cute.
**[09:20] Kasumi**
Cute.
**[09:21] Hanako**
Squee!
**[09:22] Sensei**
I've been at girls' schools
ever since preschool.
**[09:25] Sensei**
I thought it'd be okay, since
I had fun being around girls.
**[09:30] Sensei**
And then I realized I'm older
than my mom was when I was born.
**[09:35] Hanako**
Were you spirited away or something?
**[09:38] Sensei**
Yeah, maybe, for, like, twenty years.
**[09:41] Olivia**
So long!
**[09:41] Sensei**
I thought maybe pleasure
seekers at a girls' school
**[09:45] Sensei**
might know of some amazing
ways to find boyfriends.
**[09:48] Sensei**
But it's a bit too late now, huh?
**[09:50] Olivia**
Not at all.
**[09:52] Olivia**
Let's get you an awesome lover.
**[09:56] Hanako**
Are you sure about this?
**[09:58] Hanako**
We can't even make it to a mixer.
**[10:00] Hanako**
Are you sure we can find a
boyfriend for someone else?
**[10:03] Olivia**
Olivia-chan just talked out of her ass.
**[10:06] Kasumi**
So what kind of person do you like?
**[10:09] Sensei**
Masumi-sama!
**[10:11] Kasumi**
*She's going nuts!*
**[10:13] Olivia**
Do you know that person?
**[10:14] Sensei**
I love shoujo manga!
**[10:16] Olivia**
Oh, I see.
**[10:17] Sensei**
I'm in love with the idea
of being given a bouquet of
**[10:20] Sensei**
purple flowers by a man
strutting out of a Porsche.
**[10:24] Sensei**
And I absolutely adore good-looking
engineer men with superpowers
**[10:27] Sensei**
who watch over Earth from the moon.
**[10:30] Hanako**
* Can we even find someone*
* like that on planet Earth?*
**[10:33] Kasumi**
I-I heard people meet each
other online these days.
**[10:36] Sensei**
Online?
**[10:38] Sensei**
I don't know if I can do it.
**[10:39] Sensei**
Someone hijacked my e-commerce
site account the other day.
**[10:42] Kasumi**
I think I get it now.
**[10:44] Hanako**
Oh, I'm on Twitter.
**[10:46] Olivia**
Really? Let me see.
**[10:48] Hanako**
Hang on.
**[10:49] Hanako**
Here.
***SIGN*** A tight muse with a love for world peace
**[10:53] Olivia**
I like your profile picture.
**[10:56] Olivia**
* Would she get angry if*
* I said it looks just like her?*
**[10:58] Kasumi**
Wh-Whoever made this is a genius.
**[11:03] Hanako**
Praise me more!
**[11:06] Olivia**
*Oh, she made it?*
**[11:08] Hanako**
Want to make one, too, Sensei?
**[11:09] Hanako**
I can do it for you right away.
**[11:11] Sensei**
Okay, this is my email address.
**[11:13] Hanako**
What about your password?
**[11:14] Sensei**
"I want to get married."
**[11:17] Hanako**
There, done.
***SIGN*** Single Sensei
**[11:19] Olivia**
There's nothing here.
**[11:20] Sensei**
I can't see.
**[11:21] Hanako**
We have to post some stuff.
**[11:23] Kasumi**
* Come to think of it, Sensei's*
* an English teacher.*
**[11:26] Kasumi**
*I need to take advantage of this opportunity.*
**[11:29] Kasumi**
C-Could you add this line to the profile?
**[11:33] Hanako**
Huh? Sure.
**[11:34] Hanako**
Let's take a picture of you, then, Sensei.
**[11:36] Hanako**
Here, hold onto this.
**[11:37] Hanako**
And make yourself look seductive,
like in a fancy Hollywood movie.
***SIGN*** Flash <3
**[11:44] Hanako**
That'll do it.
**[11:45] Sensei**
By the way, what is this?
**[11:46] Hanako**
A titty spinning top that I found
at the flea market the other day.
**[11:50] Sensei**
Wait, please don't use that photo.
**[11:53] Hanako**
I already made it your profile picture.
**[11:56] Sensei**
How did it turn out?
***SIGN*** Single Sensei @CHISATO30 I'm the Pastimers Club supervisor <3 Planning to post the club's activity reports BTW, looking for a boyfriend
**[12:00] [SONG] ---**
Single Sensei
@CHISATO30
I'm the Pastimers Club supervisor <3
Planning to post the club's activity reports
BTW, looking for a boyfriend
**[12:03] Sensei**
*Huh?*
**[12:04] Sensei**
*Pastimers Club supervisor?*
**[12:06] Kasumi**
We know her password and email
address, so we can post on it, too.
**[12:10] Hanako**
Yeah.
**[12:11] Hanako**
Let's write tons of fun stories
from the Pastimers Club.
**[12:14] Sensei**
* Wait, is it just me, or has*
* my account been hijacked?*
**[12:18] Kasumi**
We'll be in your care, Sensei.
**[12:22] Sensei**
*Huh?*
**[12:23] Sensei**
* Is "Thank you, so will I" the*
* only acceptable reply here?*
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Betting My Life
***SIGN*** Student Council Office
**[12:35] President**
Okay, now that you have five members,
we'll recognize it as a club.
**[12:39] President**
Please use the vacant room on the
third floor as your club room.
**[12:42] Shogi President**
Um...
**[12:43] Shogi President**
Actually, there's a club called the
Pastimers Club using that room.
**[12:50] President**
Huh?
**[12:51] President**
*Say what?*
**[12:52] President**
*I haven't heard about this.*
**[12:54] President**
Then...
**[12:56] President**
I'll have the Pastimers Club people leave.
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[13:04] Hanako**
I want to go outside.
**[13:06] Olivia**
Where outside?
**[13:08] Hanako**
Shibuya.
**[13:08] Olivia**
That was quick.
**[13:09] Sensei**
You should go hang out there on Sunday.
**[13:12] Hanako**
You don't get it!
**[13:13] Hanako**
You don't get it, Sensei!
**[13:15] Hanako**
That's not the point!
**[13:17] Hanako**
It has to be an extracurricular activity!
**[13:20] Sensei**
I wonder if there's a local history
museum or anything in Shibuya.
**[13:24] Hanako**
And I want to go for a manicure
or something on the way home.
**[13:27] Sensei**
You won't get in in your school uniform.
**[13:28] Hanako**
Sensei!
**[13:29] Hanako**
I'm serious about this!
**[13:31] Hanako**
Doesn't it sound super pleasure seeker-ey
to go for a manicure in uniform cosplay
**[13:35] Hanako**
after an extracurricular activity?
**[13:37] Sensei**
I don't think you're much
of a pleasure seeker,
**[13:40] Sensei**
trying so openly to get
permission from your teacher.
**[13:43] Olivia**
* Hanako can't hang out at the entertainment*
* district without some kind of reason.*
**[13:47] PA**
* Higuchi-sensei, please*
* come to the faculty room.*
**[13:51] Sensei**
They're calling.
**[13:52] Sensei**
I'll be right back.
**[13:54] Narrator**
*And then what happened?*
**[13:59] Olivia**
Sensei, are you—
**[14:02] Hanako**
Student Council President?
**[14:03] Kasumi**
Did you need something?
**[14:04] President**
Um, may we speak?
**[14:07] Hanako**
What's up?
**[14:08] President**
*I have to explain properly.*
**[14:09] President**
* Only a peaceful resolution is*
* in line with my philosophy.*
**[14:13] President**
Would you please leave?
**[14:17] Olivia**
D-D-Did we do something?
**[14:20] Hanako**
We haven't caused the school any trouble yet!
**[14:23] President**
*Yet?*
**[14:23] President**
*Huh?*
**[14:24] President**
*Weird, they're confused.*
**[14:26] President**
*Maybe I didn't say it right.*
**[14:28] President**
*I have to say it more nicely.*
**[14:30] President**
Umm...
**[14:31] President**
If anything, it's because
you aren't doing anything.
**[14:35] President**
You haven't submitted your request
form to use this classroom, have you?
**[14:40] Kasumi**
I-I forgot.
**[14:43] Hanako**
Are you kidding me?!
**[14:45] Hanako**
Um...
**[14:46] Hanako**
Could we get permission now, then?
**[14:49] Olivia**
Y-Yeah!
**[14:50] Olivia**
We'll submit the form now!
**[14:51] Kasumi**
I'm sorry it's late!
**[14:54] Hanako**
President, the form! Now!
**[14:55] Hanako**
Give us the permission form, por favor!
**[14:57] Kasumi**
*She's trying to win her over by force.*
**[15:00] President**
Actually, there's a group that
submitted their form just earlier.
**[15:04] Olivia**
Who?
**[15:05] President**
* Please don't provoke them*
* too much when you enter.*
**[15:08] President**
Please, come in.
**[15:10] President**
The members of the Shogi Club.
**[15:13] Kasumi**
*Th-They're acting the part!*
**[15:15] Olivia**
* Such a gloomy bunch for*
* such a spectacular entry.*
**[15:17] Olivia**
What's going on?
**[15:19] Shogi President**
This place is going to be the
Shogi Club's room from now on.
**[15:23] Hanako**
No way!
**[15:24] Hanako**
Please use another room!
**[15:26] President**
* I need to respond with compassion*
* in situations like this one.*
**[15:30] President**
I'm sorry, there isn't a single
other classroom available.
**[15:35] Hanako**
*This person's completely heartless!*
**[15:38] Kasumi**
I'm sorry, guys.
**[15:40] Kasumi**
It's all because I forgot to submit the form.
**[15:42] Hanako**
Kasumi-san...
**[15:44] Hanako**
W-Wait, President, hear me out!
**[15:48] President**
Sure, go ahead.
**[15:49] Hanako**
Shogi's that sport where you
fire lasers from your bum.
**[15:52] Hanako**
It's not safe to do in a classroom.
**[15:55] Olivia**
Huh?
**[15:56] Shogi President**
Huh?
**[15:57] Olivia**
You can take a break, Hanako.
**[16:00] Hanako**
Huh?
**[16:01] Hanako**
Was that not it?
**[16:02] Kasumi**
*That's a sport that* actually*
exists inside Hanako-san's mind?*
**[16:04] President**
Um...
**[16:06] Shogi President**
Hold on, President.
**[16:07] Shogi President**
Leave this to us.
**[16:10] Shogi President**
Members of the Pastimers Club, why
don't we settle this with a pastime?
**[16:16] Shogi President**
If you win, feel free to use this room.
**[16:20] Shogi President**
And if we win, we'll have
you leave this classroom.
**[16:27] A**
President...
**[16:28] Hanako**
A-All right.
**[16:30] Shogi President**
That's the spirit.
**[16:33] Shogi President**
You can go ahead and choose a pastime.
**[16:36] A**
President, President!
**[16:38] Shogi President**
You may all be flustered over
this sudden turn of events,
**[16:43] Shogi President**
but let's take them down on their own
turf and achieve ultimate victory!
**[16:48] A**
Say what?
**[16:48] B**
This president's good at pep talks.
**[16:50] Hanako**
So we'll play shoe launching.
**[16:54] Hanako**
I'll explain the rules in detail now.
**[16:57] Hanako**
Whoever launches their shoe furthest
from this line is the winner.
**[17:00] Shogi President**
* What rules? She just repeated*
* the name of the game.*
**[17:03] Hanako**
I avoided brainy games for your sake.
**[17:06] Kasumi**
Y-Yay.
**[17:07] Hanako**
Rock-paper-scissors.
**[17:09] Hanako**
Okay, I'll go first.
**[17:10] Shogi President**
Okay.
**[17:23] A**
*I think we can win.*
**[17:25] Hanako**
I'm sorry, I'll commit seppuku now.
**[17:28] Kasumi**
Hanako-san, that might be one way
to die, but it's not seppuku.
**[17:31] A**
I-I'll do my best.
**[17:36] Shogi President**
That was godly!
**[17:38] A**
Godly? Thank you.
**[17:40] Hanako**
I-I lost to *that*?
**[17:42] Kasumi**
I'll go now.
**[17:44] Olivia**
Launch it into outer space, Kasumi.
**[17:52] Hanako**
A godly kick, Kasumi-san!
**[17:54] Kasumi**
I let out a weird sound.
**[17:59] B**
I'm sorry, President.
**[18:02] Shogi President**
Don't worry.
**[18:02] Olivia**
Here comes Olivia!
**[18:13] Hanako**
Olivia for the win!
**[18:17] Olivia**
You never said no swings.
**[18:20] A**
P-President...
**[18:22] Shogi President**
*If that's how you want to play...*
**[18:28] Shogi President**
You never said no bikes.
**[18:38] Hanako**
This person's amazing.
**[18:44] A**
President!
**[18:47] A**
President!
**[18:52] Shogi President**
Pastimes are serious
business, Pastimers Club.
**[18:58] Shogi President**
You must risk your life for your pastimes.
**[19:02] Hanako**
Y-You win.
**[19:06] A**
Are you okay, President?
**[19:08] Shogi President**
Can we stop by the hospital?
**[19:10] B**
I'll follow you for life!
**[19:12] Narrator**
* And so the Pastimers Club was*
* pummeled into the ground.*
**[19:18] Narrator**
* But because the Shogi Club president had*
* compound fractures all over her body*
**[19:21] Narrator**
*and was forced to be home-schooled,*
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[19:24] Narrator**
* the other members of the Shogi Club gathered*
* at the President's place for their meets.*
**[19:32] Hanako**
I think we took it too far, don't you think?
**[19:33] Olivia**
Yeah, we took it too far.
**[19:35] Kasumi**
They were way too athletic
to be in the Shogi Club, huh?
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Japanese Pastimes, Please
**[21:20] Olivia**
What's today's game going to be?
***SIGN*** Hide-and-Seek
**[21:23] Narrator**
*Hide-and-seek.*
**[21:24] Kasumi**
Hide-and-seek?
**[21:25] Narrator**
* Said to have originated from a*
* "kakurebou" at an unknown village.*
**[21:31] Narrator**
* Kakurebou is a ritual whereby*
* one is deemed an adult*
**[21:34] Narrator**
* if they are able to hide from*
* the bears in the forest for a night.*
**[21:42] Kasumi**
Back to the forest you go.
**[21:43] Kasumi**
There, there.
**[21:45] Narrator**
* Because bears are the messengers of the*
* gods, it is forbidden to hurt them,*
**[21:50] Narrator**
*and one may not bring weapons to the ritual.*
**[21:56] Kasumi**
There, there, good boy.
**[21:59] Narrator**
* One generally enters the mountains*
* naked for this ritual.*
**[22:06] Hanako**
I'm spoiled for marriage!
**[22:07] Narrator**
* The Meiji government decreed this ritual*
* banned due to the many lives it cost,*
**[22:13] Narrator**
* but there are records of it having*
* been done into the early Showa era.*
**[22:20] Narrator**
*Or something.*
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
# 4 - Lower Body Lasers | Pots and Kettles | Illegal Occupation | Butt Play
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/G6MEG24VR/asobi-asobase---workshop-of-fun--)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:00] ---**
***SIGN*** Lower Body Lasers
**[01:33] (Flashback) Hanako**
Hey, Maeda, what's this?
**[01:35] (Flashback) Maeda**
This is a back scratcher.
**[01:38] (Flashback) Hanako**
How do you use it?
**[01:39] (Flashback) Maeda**
Like this.
**[01:43] (Flashback) Hanako**
That's amazing.
**[01:45] (Flashback) Hanako**
You know everything, Maeda.
**[01:47] Maeda**
* I must teach Hanako*
* anything she asks to know.*
**[01:52] Maeda**
*I can't ever say "I don't know" to her.*
**[01:56] Maeda**
*Thus, even that one time...*
**[01:57] (Flashback) Hanako**
Hey, Maeda...
**[01:59] (Flashback) Maeda**
What is it, Hanako-sama?
**[02:00] (Flashback) Hanako**
What's shogi?
**[02:04] Maeda**
* "Shogi is a game where one moves their*
* pieces until they capture the enemy King."*
**[02:09] Maeda**
*I suppose I could just tell her that...*
**[02:12] Maeda**
*But I cannot.*
**[02:13] Maeda**
*For if I did...*
**[02:15] Hanako**
*"Teach me that game, then."*
**[02:18] Maeda**
*...she would say.*
**[02:20] Maeda**
*Alas, I don't know the rules of shogi.*
**[02:27] Maeda**
*So...*
**[02:28] (Flashback) Hanako**
Hey, what's shogi?
**[02:30] (Flashback) Maeda**
A sport wherein one fires
laser beams from their butt.
**[02:33] (Flashback) Hanako**
Show me.
**[02:34] (Flashback) Maeda**
Yes, ma'am.
**[02:37] (Flashback) Mom**
Oh my God, Maeda-san, what the hell?!
**[02:41] Maeda**
* Since then, Hanako-sama*
* would often beg of me...*
**[02:46] (Flashback) Hanako**
Hey, hey, Maeda, do shogi!
**[02:48] (Flashback) Hanako**
I can't sleep until you fire
a laser from your butt.
**[02:53] (Flashback) Hanako**
Maeda, show me your beam!
**[02:56] Maeda**
* But since a week ago, Hanako-sama's*
* tone has suddenly changed.*
**[03:03] Hanako**
You can stop with the beam now.
**[03:05] Hanako**
What's the deal with your butthole?
**[03:08] Hanako**
I'll pay for your surgery.
**[03:10] Hanako**
Have them remove it for you.
**[03:12] Maeda**
Hanako-sama...
**[03:13] Maeda**
You were so delighted by my butt
beam until just a week ago.
**[03:17] Brother**
I'm seriously worried about
my sister's mental health,
**[03:20] Brother**
being delighted by that
until just a week ago.
**[03:23] Maeda**
Welcome home, Kentarou-sama.
**[03:26] Maeda**
Say, has Hanako-sama taken an umbrella?
**[03:29] Brother**
Dunno.
**[03:30] Brother**
The weather forecast said it
would be sunny, so probably not.
**[03:35] Maeda**
As I do not have a license,
I shall go fetch her on foot.
**[03:39] Brother**
*This guy's been at our place forever...*
**[03:41] Brother**
*But what does he do exactly?*
**[03:46] Olivia**
I didn't bring an umbrella.
**[03:48] Olivia**
What about you guys?
**[03:49] Kasumi**
I always keep a foldable umbrella with me.
**[03:52] Kasumi**
What about you, Hanako?
**[03:53] Hanako**
I forgot.
**[03:54] Olivia**
What do we do?
**[03:57] Hanako**
Want to wear garbage bags?
**[04:00] Olivia**
* Why are Hanako's ideas always so hobotastic*
* when she's apparently so rich?*
**[04:05] Kasumi**
M-Maybe we can fit three
people under my umbrella.
**[04:09] Hanako**
Not under a foldable umbrella, I don't think.
**[04:13] Olivia**
I wonder if someone could
lend us an umbrella.
**[04:15] Maeda**
Hanako-sama.
**[04:18] Kasumi**
Hanako-san!
**[04:19] Kasumi**
Stab him with this!
**[04:20] Kasumi**
Hurry!
**[04:21] Kasumi**
Kill him quick!
**[04:22] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, calm down!
**[04:26] Hanako**
H-He works for us at home.
**[04:29] Hanako**
He's... a thing.
**[04:29] Maeda**
I'm Maeda.
**[04:30] Kasumi**
What do you mean, "a thing"?
**[04:32] Maeda**
Hanako-sama, I've brought you an umbrella.
**[04:34] Hanako**
Thanks.
**[04:37] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, are you okay?
**[04:39] Kasumi**
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
**[04:41] Kasumi**
I have a fear of men.
**[04:44] Hanako**
Is this better?
**[04:46] Kasumi**
I'm sorry. I'm sorry,.
I can't deal with weirdos either.
**[04:49] Narrator**
*And then what happened?*
**[04:50] Maeda**
Are these ladies your school friends?
**[04:53] Hanako**
Yeah. Olivia and Kasumi.
**[04:55] Maeda**
Olivia.
**[04:56] Maeda**
That's a foreign name.
**[04:58] Maeda**
I enjoy traveling abroad.
**[05:02] Maeda**
Which country are you from?
**[05:06] Olivia**
I-It's a secret.
**[05:12] Maeda**
I feel like your friends are afraid
of me because of you, Hanako-sama!
**[05:15] Hanako**
It's because you just happen to look skeevy!
**[05:20] Olivia**
Thanks for the umbrella.
**[05:22] Hanako**
Sure.
**[05:22] Kasumi**
You tolerate having that thing
in your life, Hanako-san?
**[05:27] Olivia**
*That "thing"?*
**[05:27] Kasumi**
I never knew you hated men so much.
**[05:31] Kasumi**
I-I mean...
**[05:32] Kasumi**
I heard men fire laser beam things from
their crotch when they're turned on.
**[05:37] Hanako**
Didn't you know, Kasumi-san?
**[05:39] Hanako**
Laser beams come out of the butt.
**[05:40] Kasumi**
Really?
**[05:42] Kasumi**
*I never knew.*
**[05:43] Kasumi**
*Oh jeez, I'm embarrassed.*
**[05:45] Hanako**
And it destroys the roof
sometimes. It's so dangerous.
**[05:49] Sensei**
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
**[05:51] Sensei**
Who are you?!
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Pots and Kettles
**[05:58] Person A**
Chisato, long time no see!
**[06:01] Sensei**
Yeah, long time.
**[06:03] Person B**
It's been about six years, hasn't it?
**[06:05] Person A**
You haven't changed one bit.
**[06:06] Sensei**
R-Really?
**[06:07] Person B**
Yeah.
**[06:08] Person B**
You're just like you were back in college.
**[06:10] Sensei**
I wonder how the others are doing.
**[06:13] Person A**
I think three-fifths of
them have gotten married.
**[06:17] Sensei**
R-Really?
**[06:22] Person A**
*What a long sigh.*
**[06:24] Person B**
You work at a girls'
school, right, Chisa-chan?
**[06:26] Person B**
Do you ever meet anyone?
**[06:27] Sensei**
With men?
**[06:28] Sensei**
Nah, not at all.
**[06:30] Sensei**
Oh, I'm a supervisor for
a club at school, though.
**[06:33] Person A**
That sounds really teachery.
**[06:35] Person A**
What kind of club?
**[06:36] Person A**
Basketball? Volleyball?
**[06:36] Person A**
I bet concert band or
choir would suit you, too.
**[06:39] Sensei**
It's a club called the Pastimers Club.
**[06:43] Person A**
Huh.
**[06:44] Person A**
Wow.
**[06:45] Person B**
I've been working at a girls' school
for the past three years, too.
**[06:48] Sensei**
Really?
**[06:49] Sensei**
Where?
**[06:50] Person B**
Have you heard of Sei Shukujo Academy?
**[06:52] Sensei**
I have.
**[06:54] Sensei**
It's that school with all
well-to-do girls, right?
**[06:56] Person B**
One of the Four Lords of
Pastimers is at my school.
**[07:00] Person B**
I'll hook you up sometime.
**[07:02] ---**
Okay.
**[07:15] Sensei**
*What's a Lord of Pastimers?*
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[07:22] Sensei**
Guys, sorry I'm late.
**[07:24] Sensei**
What're you up to?
**[07:26] Hanako**
Playing Old Maid.
**[07:26] Sensei**
Huh.
**[07:29] Sensei**
Hey, girls...
**[07:31] Sensei**
Have you heard of the
Four Lords of Pastimers?
**[07:37] Hanako**
What's that?
**[07:39] Sensei**
You wouldn't, would you?
**[07:41] Sensei**
Okay.
**[07:42] Sensei**
See, one of my friends also
works at a girls' school.
**[07:47] Sensei**
We met to catch up the other day,
**[07:48] Sensei**
and she told me that one of the Four
Lords of Pastimers is a student there.
**[07:52] Kasumi**
*Sensei has some weird friends.*
**[07:56] Hanako**
What's a Lord of Pastimers?
**[07:58] Olivia**
I bet they're stupid.
**[07:59] Kasumi**
*Hey!*
**[08:00] Olivia**
I bet they only exist in that person's brain.
**[08:03] Hanako**
Maybe she's, like, twice the
age of an eighth grader,
**[08:07] Hanako**
and now she's thinking like one again.
**[08:10] Sensei**
*They're really roasting her.*
**[08:12] Kasumi**
Maybe there are some requirements, like
winning in a national kendama tournament.
**[08:16] Hanako**
There's a lot of different pastimes, though.
**[08:18] Olivia**
Can you become one of the Four
Lords just playing kendama?
**[08:21] Kasumi**
I guess kendama alone wouldn't be enough.
**[08:23] Hanako**
How accomplished do you have to be, then?
**[08:25] Kasumi**
I wonder... I can't say.
**[08:27] Sensei**
*It sounds like a proper club meeting.*
**[08:31] Sensei**
Hello?
**[08:32] Person A**
*Chisato? Are you at school?*
**[08:33] Sensei**
Yeah, at the club.
**[08:35] Person A**
* You know that Lord of Pastimers*
* I was talking about?*
**[08:39] Sensei**
Yeah?
**[08:39] Person A**
*She just headed out your way.*
**[08:42] Person A**
*She should be there soon.*
**[08:43] Sensei**
Huh, okay.
**[08:45] Sensei**
Got it.
**[08:46] Sensei**
Thanks.
**[08:49] Sensei**
The Lord is coming.
**[08:51] Kasumi**
That's what you were talking about just now?!
**[08:53] Sensei**
Huh?
**[08:54] Sensei**
Yeah.
**[08:55] Olivia**
Which school, by the way?
**[08:56] Sensei**
Sei Shukujo Academy.
**[08:59] Hanako**
That super well-to-do school?
**[09:00] Olivia**
One of the Lords might
actually be there, then.
**[09:02] Kasumi**
I know, right?
**[09:03] Kasumi**
I bet she's super proper, too.
**[09:04] Kasumi**
* Wow, you all believe me as*
* soon as I bring that up?*
**[09:06] Kasumi**
*You're such slaves to status.*
**[09:17] Kasumi**
*H-Holy crap.*
**[09:20] Hanako**
Uh... Don't you get in trouble
at school, looking like that?
**[09:24] Lord**
It's my actual hair color.
**[09:26] Lord**
This butterfly landed on
me and became my friend.
**[09:28] Kasumi**
*She's lying!*
**[09:29] Olivia**
Wh-What about your makeup?
**[09:31] Lord**
I'm not wearing any.
**[09:32] Kasumi**
*That's a lie, too!*
**[09:33] Kasumi**
B-But you wear your uniform properly, huh?
**[09:36] Lord**
Huh?
**[09:37] Lord**
I don't get it. Who *doesn't*
follow the school dress code?
**[09:40] Kasumi**
* Why is that the one thing*
* you're obedient about?*
**[09:42] Sensei**
Hey, I'm Ando-sensei's friend.
**[09:45] Lord**
Oh, yeah, Ando-chan.
**[09:47] Lord**
I didn't feel like coming, but
she knows my secret, so I had to.
**[09:49] Sensei**
I heard you're one of the
Four Lords of Pastimers.
**[09:53] Lord**
Oh, that.
**[09:55] Lord**
I, like, slept with almost all the
guys from the boys' school nearby,
**[09:58] Lord**
and now that's what they call me.
**[10:00] Kasumi**
*Wait, you mean Lord of* Pleasure Seeking*?!*
**[10:03] Olivia**
*H-How's Hanako reacting?*
**[10:05] Hanako Right**
*Awesome! Awesome!*
**[10:07] Hanako Left**
*No! She's a slut!*
**[10:09] Hanako Left**
*Slut, slut, slut!*
**[10:10] Olivia**
*I see two weird creatures above her head.*
**[10:14] Olivia**
*Kasumi's soul is escaping from her mouth.*
**[10:17] Olivia**
But you can't keep up with school if
you're always fooling around, can you?
**[10:21] Lord**
Studying at home is totally lame.
**[10:25] Hanako**
*She's a dumbass.*
**[10:25] Olivia**
*Yup, of course she is.*
**[10:28] Lord**
You can pick up most of it
just listening in class.
**[10:32] Lord**
I made the top 100 in the national
mock exam the other day, too.
**[10:36] Hanako**
*I'm going to go nuts with jealousy!*
**[10:38] Olivia**
C-Can you do kendama?
**[10:41] Kasumi**
*Olivia-san?!*
**[10:42] Kasumi**
* Aren't you sad trying to gain*
* superiority over kendama?!*
**[10:50] Lord**
You're just catching the
ball. This is boring.
**[10:53] Olivia**
O-Okay.
**[10:54] Hanako**
I-I know...
**[10:56] Hanako**
Olivia, Kasumi-san, do that makeup on me!
**[11:01] Olivia**
Nah...
**[11:01] Kasumi**
I think we should give up.
**[11:03] Hanako**
No!
**[11:03] Hanako**
Not wearing makeup is tantamount to
going into battle unarmed and naked!
**[11:08] Hanako**
Only by wearing steel armor as she
does can we engage in fair battle!
**[11:13] Olivia**
I-If you insist...
**[11:16] Olivia**
All right.
**[11:16] Kasumi**
I'll do my best.
**[11:19] Olivia**
T-Trust me, we did our best, Hanako.
**[11:22] Olivia**
You put on color contacts, too.
**[11:23] Kasumi**
W-We've done everything we
could with our skill level.
**[11:27] Hanako**
Like, ohmygawd, girl.
**[11:31] Lord**
Wasn't there a Batman villain
that looks like that?
**[11:34] Kasumi**
There was!
**[11:37] Hanako**
Do you think you can defeat
me, Lord of Pleasure Seeking?
**[11:42] Hanako**
I can handle her myself,
Kasumi-san and Olivia-chan.
**[11:44] Kasumi**
*Stop it!*
**[11:46] Kasumi**
*Now you both look and* sound *
like a low-level enemy!*
**[11:50] Lord**
You can have my cleanser, Hana-chan.
**[11:52] Hanako**
Huh?
**[11:53] Hanako**
Th-Thanks.
**[11:54] Lord**
I'm going now.
**[11:55] Hanako**
Okay.
**[11:58] Hanako**
She was kind of nice.
**[12:00] Kasumi**
Yeah.
**[12:01] Olivia**
Yes.
**[12:02] Sensei**
Honda-san, be sure to wash your face
quickly without looking in the mirror.
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Illegal Occupation
***SIGN*** Choujuu Giga
**[12:12] Hanako**
What're you looking at, Olivia?
**[12:14] Olivia**
*Choujuu Giga*.
**[12:14] Olivia**
The animal drawings are super cute.
**[12:17] Kasumi**
Are you interested in this
kind of stuff, Olivia-san?
**[12:19] Olivia**
Yeah.
**[12:19] Olivia**
I love ukiyoe, too.
**[12:22] Hanako**
Was *Choujuu Giga* that one that's said
to be the oldest manga in Japan?
**[12:26] Hanako**
You have classy taste for
a middle schooler, Olivia.
**[12:29] Hanako**
Hey, what do you think they're doing here?
**[12:31] Kasumi**
Sumo?
**[12:32] Hanako**
I guess?
**[12:33] Hanako**
Do you think they're all males?
**[12:34] Olivia**
How can you tell they're all male?
**[12:37] Hanako**
I mean, only men can do sumo wrestling.
**[12:43] Olivia**
But I wanted to become a sumo
wrestler when I grew up!
**[12:47] Hanako**
Really?
**[12:48] Kasumi**
You didn't notice from what you saw on TV?
**[12:50] Olivia**
I thought they were only
airing the men's games
**[12:52] Olivia**
because they're naked from the waist up.
**[12:56] Olivia**
I thought girls sumo wrestle secretly
in a paradise-like place, half naked.
**[13:04] Kasumi**
**That's *Olivia-san's idea of paradise?*
**[13:07] Kasumi**
You might not be able to do it as a job,
but anyone can sumo wrestle for fun.
**[13:11] Olivia**
For fun?
**[13:12] Olivia**
You do real sumo wrestling for fun?
**[13:14] Kasumi**
You could, but we don't have
anything to use as loincloths.
**[13:19] Hanako**
Arm wrestling, thumb wrestling,
paper wrestling...
**[13:22] Hanako**
There's a lot of games that
have the word "sumo" in it.
**[13:24] Olivia**
I want to do something where you
use your hands and shout "nokotta!"
**[13:27] Hanako**
How about *teoshi sumo*?
**[13:28] Olivia**
What's teoshi sumo?
**[13:30] Hanako**
You don't know?
**[13:31] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, can you come stand in front?
**[13:34] Hanako**
You put your hands together like
this, and you shove and dodge.
**[13:37] Hanako**
The first person to lose their footing loses.
**[13:40] Kasumi**
You can only touch your opponent's hands.
**[13:43] Olivia**
* It sounds so fun,*
* like frolicking in paradise.*
**[13:46] Hanako**
Kasumi-san and I will
go first, so just watch.
**[13:50] Olivia**
Okay.
**[14:06] Olivia**
* It's just like what she*
* described, except it's not.*
**[14:11] Hanako**
*Kasumi-san's good.*
**[14:13] Kasumi**
Hanako-san, you aren't as good as I thought.
**[14:18] Kasumi**
Maybe you don't have balance
in your upper body.
**[14:23] Olivia**
*She provoked her.*
**[14:26] Hanako**
Gatotsu!
**[14:28] Kasumi**
*She fell for it.*
**[14:29] Kasumi**
*Now I just need to avoid her.*
**[14:33] Kasumi**
*She's still going to shove?*
**[14:35] Kasumi**
*Fine!*
**[14:37] Hanako**
* She's doing her Chinese*
* contortionist shit again.*
**[14:41] Hanako**
*Still, I will win!*
**[14:48] Hanako**
O-Olivia...
**[14:50] Hanako**
I'm safe, right?
**[14:54] Olivia**
*What are these girls doing?*
**[14:56] Olivia**
S-Safe?
**[14:58] Olivia**
I mean, I guess?
**[15:00] Hanako**
But I think...
**[15:02] ---**
Hey, sorry I'm late...
**[15:04] Hanako**
I'm done.
**[15:05] Sensei**
Honda-san, don't give up!
**[15:08] Hanako**
*Huh?*
**[15:09] Hanako**
*Sensei, what are you talking about?*
**[15:11] Sensei**
You can do it!
**[15:12] Sensei**
You can't give up!
**[15:15] Sensei**
Do it!
**[15:15] Sensei**
You can do it!
**[15:16] Sensei**
You can keep going!
**[15:18] Sensei**
Hang in there, Honda-san!
**[15:24] Hanako**
It's in my ey—
**[15:30] Sensei**
*Th-This is bad.*
**[15:33] Olivia**
S-Sensei, were you rooting for Hanako?
**[15:37] Sensei**
Huh? Not really.
**[15:39] Sensei**
I just wanted to sound
like an intense teacher.
**[15:42] Hanako**
Huh? Say what?
**[15:43] Hanako**
You scared me!
**[15:44] Kasumi**
Okay, Olivia-san, want to
try playing in paradise?
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Butt Play
**[15:59] Kasumi**
No one's here.
**[16:08] Kasumi**
*No one's here, which means I can secretly...*
**[16:11] Harry**
I'm going to put my magic on you.
**[16:15] Other guy**
Put it on me.
***SIGN*** Thwack
**[16:22] Hanako**
Huh, you're already here, Kasumi-san?
**[16:24] Hanako**
Hey, were you writing something?
**[16:26] Hanako**
What were you up to?
**[16:27] Kasumi**
Um...
**[16:32] Kasumi**
Doing a lecture write-up.
**[16:34] Hanako**
Sounds busy.
**[16:36] Hanako**
Psyche! Middle schoolers
don't talk about lectures!
**[16:39] Hanako**
Huh?
**[16:41] Hanako**
*"Put it on me"?*
**[16:45] Hanako**
Err, Kasumi-san...
**[16:46] Kasumi**
N-No!
**[16:48] Kasumi**
It's not!
**[16:49] Kasumi**
I didn't write this!
**[16:51] Kasumi**
I didn't!
**[16:52] Hanako**
Okay, sorry. I know.
**[16:54] Kasumi**
*I want to die!*
***SIGN*** Squeeeeeze
**[16:56] Hanako**
It's okay!
**[16:57] Hanako**
Seriously, it's fine! Don't die!
**[16:58] Hanako**
Live!
**[16:59] Hanako**
Live!
**[17:00] Hanako**
You are beautiful!
**[17:01] Olivia**
I ran into Sensei on the way here.
**[17:03] Sensei**
Sorry I'm late.
**[17:08] Sensei**
*I have no clue how it came to this.*
**[17:11] Hanako**
U-Um...
**[17:14] Hanako**
*I can't tell them!*
**[17:15] Hanako**
*Kasumi-san will kill herself!*
**[17:18] Hanako**
*I have to come up with a different reason.*
**[17:19] Hanako**
*Something else...*
**[17:20] Hanako**
K-Kasumi-san was writing
an Oscar Wilde-style novel.
**[17:25] Kasumi**
*Hanako-san!*
**[17:26] Olivia**
Huh, what's it like?
**[17:29] Kasumi**
Sorry, it's pretty wild.
**[17:31] Kasumi**
It might shock you.
**[17:35] Sensei**
I-Is it the kind of thing they
might be handing out at Big Sight?
**[17:39] Kasumi**
Y-Yes.
**[17:41] Kasumi**
A wild, sold-in-person type.
**[17:42] Sensei**
Really?
**[17:44] Sensei**
Can I read it when you're done?
**[17:46] Kasumi**
No!
**[17:47] Kasumi**
Someone kill me!
**[17:49] Kasumi**
I don't have the courage to kill myself!
**[17:50] Hanako**
Kasumi-san!
**[17:51] Kasumi**
I'll write a will so it
looks like a proper suicide!
**[17:55] Hanako**
Don't worry, I like *Boys
School Wars* and stuff, too.
**[17:58] Hanako**
I'm interested in that kind
of stuff, too, these days.
**[18:00] Kasumi**
H-Hanako-san...
**[18:02] Hanako**
Like, Takezou x Billy, right?
**[18:05] Kasumi**
*Wh-Who is that?*
**[18:07] Olivia**
I have no idea what's going on,
but you're writing a novel?
**[18:11] Kasumi**
Y-Yes.
**[18:12] Olivia**
Have you chosen a title yet?
**[18:14] Kasumi**
N-No, not yet.
**[18:15] Hanako**
Hey, I have a good one.
**[18:17] ---**
Huh? What is it?
**[18:19] Kasumi**
"Anal Bum Cover."
**[18:22] Sensei**
Honda-san!
**[18:23] Sensei**
Please don't tarnish my bible!
**[18:25] Hanako**
S-Sensei, what are you talking about?
**[18:28] Kasumi**
Um...
**[18:29] Kasumi**
Can we take this seriously?
**[18:31] Hanako**
But I was serious!
**[18:32] Hanako**
The protagonist, one day, starts
firing laser beams from his butt.
**[18:36] Kasumi**
*You aren't serious at all!*
**[18:37] Maeda**
You called, Hanako-sama?
**[18:40] Kasumi**
Stab him with the eraser!
**[18:43] Hanako**
Kasumi-san!
**[18:44] Maeda**
I can be of use to
Kasumi-san's novel writing?
**[18:47] Maeda**
I shall gladly submit myself to that purpose.
**[18:49] Hanako**
Have you ever submitted yourself to anal?
**[18:51] Maeda**
Oh, when you say novel, do
you mean one of *that* genre?
**[18:54] Maeda**
My apologies, I'm not very
versed in that field.
**[18:58] Maeda**
But for you, Hanako-sama, I shall
head to Nichome with some vaseline.
**[19:01] Hanako**
Oh, it's nothing that serious.
**[19:03] Hanako**
It's more of a light fantasy.
**[19:06] Maeda**
Fantasy...
**[19:08] Maeda**
Something like a goblin x dwarf?
**[19:10] Hanako**
What kind of nasty trash is that?!
**[19:10] Maeda**
Oh, Santa Maria, forgive me Lord...
**[19:12] Hanako**
Not *that* kind of fantasy!
**[19:14] Hanako**
You have to have given up on your own
humanity to read something like that!
**[19:17] Maeda**
But my friend's niece is into that
kind of hardcore doujinshi stuff.
**[19:19] Hanako**
Stop! I don't want to hear any more!
**[19:21] Maeda**
Gobdwarfs.
**[19:22] Hanako**
Please don't abbreviate it
like you're in the know!
**[19:25] Hanako**
Sorry, Kasumi-san.
That was a weird thing to hear.
**[19:30] Hanako**
Come to think of it, I thought
you had a fear of men.
**[19:33] Hanako**
Are you really okay with men on men?
**[19:34] Kasumi**
T-Two-D stuff is okay.
**[19:37] Kasumi**
2D doesn't come out of the page.
**[19:39] Kasumi**
They're totally safe.
**[19:41] Kasumi**
Even better if they have
no interest in women.
**[19:44] Hanako**
*I-I see.*
**[19:46] Olivia**
Kasumi, you're going to end up
like Sensei, talking like that.
**[19:53] Kasumi**
Sucks for you. I can totally
tolerate living like that.
**[19:58] Sensei**
*My life is one to be tolerated?!*
**[20:00] Maeda**
Um, I don't know if this would be of any use
for a BL novel, but may I share a story?
**[20:06] Olivia**
Sure.
**[20:07] Kasumi**
Thank you.
**[20:09] Maeda**
Long long ago, there was a
sixth-year college student.
**[20:14] Maeda**
On the morning of an exam
which would determine
**[20:16] Maeda**
whether or not he'd fail
the year a third time,
**[20:17] Maeda**
he was abducted out of
the blue by men in black.
**[20:22] Maeda**
The men in black restrained the
student inside a square room,
**[20:25] Maeda**
and began probing his butt.
**[20:28] Alien**
This is an excellent ass.
**[20:31] Alien B**
Let us hide our weapon of
destruction inside here.
**[20:35] Maeda**
When he came to, he was
back where he was before,
**[20:38] Maeda**
but a day had apparently passed, and
hooray, he failed for a third time.
**[20:42] Maeda**
His life soon became a living hell.
**[20:48] Maeda**
Every time he took a dump,
he would destroy the toilet.
**[20:52] Maeda**
He would find part-time
jobs, only to be fired,
**[20:54] Maeda**
on grounds of destroying their toilets.
**[20:56] Maeda**
One day, when he had resigned himself
to a fate of homelessness...
**[21:01] Man**
What's wrong, buddy?
**[21:03] Man**
What happened to you?
**[21:04] Maeda**
Get lost, old bastard.
**[21:06] Man**
Hold on, let me get a good look.
**[21:09] Man**
Why is your ass crack so torn?!
**[21:12] Maeda**
Don't touch it!
**[21:13] Maeda**
It's dangerous.
**[21:14] Maeda**
What if I suddenly fired a beam?
**[21:17] Maeda**
I don't know how I ended
up with this implant.
**[21:20] Maeda**
I can't control it myself, either.
**[21:23] Maeda**
I can't go back to my old life.
**[21:29] Man**
All right, come with me.
**[21:31] Man**
I'll teach you how to control your butt.
**[21:36] Maeda**
The man who saved me that day...
**[21:40] Maeda**
Was Hanako-sama's grandfather.
**[21:42] Olivia**
*Wait, it's a true story?*
**[21:44] Olivia**
*That's freaky!*
**[21:45] Sensei**
A-Are you okay now?
**[21:47] Maeda**
Yes, thank you.
**[21:48] Maeda**
I only destroy the toilet
when I have diarrhea now.
**[21:51] Hanako**
And every time, I have to wait until the
seat's fixed to use the toilet, damn it!
**[21:54] Olivia**
*So you're still destroying them!*
**[21:55] Maeda**
How's that?
**[21:56] Maeda**
Does that give you any inspiration?
**[21:59] Kasumi**
U-Um...
**[22:02] Kasumi**
I feel so sick.
**[22:03] Narrator**
* And so Nomura Kasumi's distaste*
* for men was further exacerbated.*
# 5 - Devilish Taste | Loaded Questions | Maeda's Curse | Sex Ed
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/G6MEG24VR/asobi-asobase---workshop-of-fun--)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Devilish Taste
**[01:42] Hanako**
Hey, Maeda...
**[01:44] Hanako**
You know how they say pets tend
to look like their owners?
**[01:48] Hanako**
This kid looks nothing like me, right?
**[01:51] Maeda**
Quite true.
**[01:54] Maeda**
* I can't possibly tell her, but when she*
* was napping on this sofa the other day...*
**[02:00] Maeda**
*She looked just like it.*
**[02:04] Hanako**
I'm going to be late for the meet-up.
**[02:07] Maeda**
Where are you headed today?
**[02:08] Hanako**
I'm working on a social studies group
presentation with Olivia and Kasumi-san.
**[02:12] Hanako**
See you.
**[02:13] Maeda**
Hanako-sama...
**[02:15] Maeda**
Uh...
**[02:17] Maeda**
You're just so charming today,
you almost knocked me out.
**[02:21] Hanako**
I know, right?
**[02:25] Olivia**
Kasumi.
**[02:26] Olivia**
Did you wait?
**[02:27] Kasumi**
No, I just got here about ten minutes ago.
**[02:31] Olivia**
We haven't met each other
in plain clothes before.
**[02:32] Kasumi**
You're right.
**[02:34] Olivia**
You look so grown-up in a long skirt.
**[02:37] Kasumi**
D-Do I?
**[02:38] Kasumi**
You look nice, too, Olivia-san.
**[02:42] Olivia**
I'm just wearing a tee-shirt and shorts.
**[02:43] Kasumi**
I know, but...
**[02:46] Kasumi**
* I feel like you need a certain amount of*
* confidence to pull off that simple look.*
**[02:51] Olivia**
I wonder how Hanako's going to come dressed.
**[02:53] Kasumi**
She might show up in a yukata or something.
**[02:55] Olivia**
I can see that.
**[02:56] Olivia**
Or wearing brand clothes head-to-toe.
**[02:57] Kasumi**
She's rich, after all.
**[02:59] Hanako**
I'm here.
**[03:00] Olivia**
Hana—
**[03:02] Olivia**
—ko.
**[03:09] Hanako**
Sorry, it took a while.
**[03:11] Olivia**
Hanako...
**[03:13] Olivia**
Did you bang your head on the way here?
**[03:15] Hanako**
What?
**[03:16] Hanako**
What is that supposed to mean?
**[03:17] Olivia**
I mean, you couldn't dress like
that if you're in your right mind.
**[03:21] Hanako**
What's this?
**[03:23] Hanako**
This isn't quite like the prêt-à-porter
they sell at the mall.
**[03:27] Hanako**
It's a one-of-a-kind haute couture
piece by an up-and-coming designer.
**[03:31] Hanako**
Haute couture!
**[03:33] Hanako**
Ohtokchuure!
***SIGN*** Ohtokchuure!!!
**[03:35] Kasumi**
It suddenly sounds like a
lame world history mnemonic.
**[03:39] Kasumi**
I like it. It's very you.
**[03:42] Hanako**
Huh?
**[03:43] Hanako**
This is the Harajuku fashion
that's in style right now.
**[03:45] Olivia**
*She's totally got the wrong idea.*
**[03:49] Olivia**
Okay, why don't we start our assignment?
**[03:51] Hanako**
Okay.
**[03:52] Kasumi**
Yes.
**[03:52] Kasumi**
First, want to order something?
***SIGN*** Watermelon
**[03:59] Olivia**
*Glance...*
**[04:01] Kasumi**
*Glance...*
**[04:02] Olivia**
*Uh oh...*
**[04:03] Kasumi**
*I can't focus at all.*
**[04:06] Person A**
What's up with her?
**[04:07] Person B**
Jeez, I have no idea.
**[04:14] Kasumi**
I-I'm sorry!
**[04:16] Hanako**
Oh, did it jab me?
**[04:17] Hanako**
Hey, teach me how to do that, Kasumi-san.
**[04:21] Kasumi**
Pen spinning, you mean?
**[04:22] Kasumi**
I think you kind of spin it
around the base of your thumb.
**[04:26] Hanako**
All right.
**[04:32] Hanako**
What the heck?
**[04:33] Hanako**
It's so hard!
**[04:35] Kasumi**
You don't spin your whole arm.
**[04:38] Kasumi**
It'll spin on its own if you push your
middle finger towards your thumb.
**[04:45] Kasumi**
That's it.
**[04:46] Kasumi**
Keep that up for a while and
you'll be able to do it.
**[04:48] Hanako**
*All right.*
**[04:50] Hanako**
*This time!*
**[04:53] ---**
And so then...
**[04:54] Person A**
Hot!
**[04:58] Person B**
Fire!
**[05:05] Person A**
It's the devil!
**[05:06] Person A**
There was a girl who looked like the
devil who flung something at me!
**[05:10] Person A**
Didn't you see her?
**[05:11] Person A**
She looked like a demon, with horns!
**[05:14] Hanako**
N-No.
**[05:16] Hanako**
Hey, Olivia...
**[05:17] Hanako**
I'm going to grow out of Harajuku style now.
**[05:21] Olivia**
I told you, that's not Harajuku style.
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Loaded Questions
**[05:30] Hanako**
Olivia.
**[05:32] Hanako**
You're late.
**[05:33] Kasumi**
G-Good work on cleaning duty.
**[05:36] Kasumi**
You were kind of out of it today.
**[05:38] Olivia**
Hey, guys, I have something important
to tell you. Hear me out.
**[05:45] Olivia**
There's a boy in this school.
**[05:50] Hanako**
Oh, sure.
**[05:52] Olivia**
Come on, I'm serious here! It's true!
**[05:55] Hanako**
How am I supposed to react to that?
**[05:57] Hanako**
Is something wrong?
**[05:59] Olivia**
Well...
**[06:00] Olivia**
I was sleeping last night, and there
was some noise from the window.
**[06:04] Guy**
That's not true!
**[06:05] Olivia**
*I can't sleep...*
**[06:07] Girl**
We need to confront fate.
**[06:07] Olivia**
I took a peek, and there
was a couple fighting.
**[06:12] (Flashback) Guy**
What are you even talking about?!
**[06:13] (Flashback) Guy**
Seriously, I don't get it. Why are
you suddenly breaking up with me?
**[06:16] (Flashback) Guy**
I love you, man!
**[06:18] (Flashback) Girl**
I'm sorry, but I can't lie any more.
**[06:22] (Flashback) Girl**
I have what you have on my lower half.
**[06:29] (Flashback) Guy**
#%^(*&@...
**[06:35] (Flashback) Girl**
I thought that's how you'd react.
**[06:38] (Flashback) Girl**
I'm sorry.
**[06:39] (Flashback) Guy**
Wait!
**[06:40] (Flashback) Guy**
I love you, even if you have one!
**[06:46] Olivia**
*This is so nice!*
**[06:48] Olivia**
* It's the kind of thing*
* Kasumi likes, isn't it?*
**[06:51] Olivia**
And I was like...
**[06:52] Kasumi**
Hang on a second!
**[06:53] Olivia**
Wait, Kasumi. Don't butt in
while I'm telling a story.
**[06:56] Kasumi**
No, I have to make things clear!
**[06:59] Olivia**
But you like that kind of thing, don't you?
**[07:00] Kasumi**
That's a cross dresser!
**[07:02] Kasumi**
It's like BL, but not!
**[07:04] Kasumi**
That's outside of what I can accept!
**[07:05] Olivia**
You're such a pain.
**[07:07] Kasumi**
I'm not a pain at all!
**[07:09] Olivia**
So that's when I noticed something huge.
**[07:13] Olivia**
That girl...
**[07:14] Olivia**
She was wearing our uniform.
**[07:16] Kasumi**
*I'm scared.*
**[07:18] Hanako**
No, er... It must have been a mistake.
**[07:20] Olivia**
I know what I saw!
**[07:21] Olivia**
She's definitely among us, like an alien!
**[07:23] Kasumi**
W-Was there anyone who could have
been suspicious at this school?
**[07:28] Olivia**
Could it be... her?
**[07:30] Kasumi**
Gulp...
**[07:32] Olivia**
Takayanagi-senpai from third year is
a bit suspicious, don't you think?
**[07:35] Hanako**
Now that you mention it...
**[07:36] Kasumi**
She does seem a bit manly.
**[07:39] Olivia**
Right?
**[07:39] Olivia**
She's the captain of the swimming
club, but she's suspicious, right?
**[07:42] Kasumi**
Olivia!
**[07:43] Kasumi**
She can't be, if she's in the swimming club!
**[07:45] Kasumi**
Why did you even mention her?
**[07:47] Olivia**
And then there's...
**[07:48] Olivia**
Her.
**[07:50] Hanako**
What? Who's next?
**[07:53] Olivia**
No, believe me, the next
one is *really* suspicious?
**[07:55] Kasumi**
Wh-Who?
**[07:56] Olivia**
Oka-san, from Class 2-4!
**[07:58] Kasumi**
She's just creepy by a different measure!
**[08:02] Hanako**
Man, I think you just made a mistake.
**[08:05] Hanako**
Maybe he borrowed his sister's
uniform or something.
**[08:07] Olivia**
That could be it.
**[08:08] Kasumi**
Um...
**[08:10] Kasumi**
Wasn't there someone from
our class who's always
**[08:13] Kasumi**
changing in the washroom for Phys Ed class?
**[08:16] Olivia**
O-Oh yeah.
**[08:17] Kasumi**
She's always sitting out
during swimming class, too.
**[08:20] Olivia**
She's suspicious.
**[08:21] Hanako**
I heard she's allergic to chlorine.
**[08:23] Hanako**
And you're talking about *her*, right?
**[08:25] Hanako**
She doesn't seem that way at all.
**[08:27] Kasumi**
Sh-Sh-Should we ask her, just in case?
**[08:29] Olivia**
Yeah.
**[08:30] Hanako**
Yeah.
**[08:31] Hanako**
U-Um, Aozora-san...
**[08:37] Hanako**
Th-There's no way!
**[08:39] Hanako**
She's Aozora Tsugumi-chan,
the cutest girl at school!
**[08:41] Kasumi**
But...
**[08:42] Hanako**
How are we even going to ask her?
**[08:44] Hanako**
Could you really go up to her
and be, like, "Are you a guy"?
**[08:47] Olivia**
Hey, w-want to play a game?
**[08:51] Aozora**
A game?
**[08:52] Olivia**
It's a game where you have
to guess why I talked to you.
**[08:57] Kasumi**
* O-Olivia starts talking like a fake*
* foreigner when she's nervous, I guess.*
**[09:02] Aozora**
Sure, that sounds fun.
**[09:04] Hanako**
Nice!
**[09:05] Hanako**
Good job, Olivia.
**[09:07] Hanako**
Now we have a reason to talk to her.
**[09:09] Olivia**
Yes!
**[09:10] Olivia**
Okay, Aozora-san, I'm going
to start with a problem.
**[09:14] Olivia**
Ask me questions about it.
**[09:16] Olivia**
I'll answer either "yes,"
"no," or "irrelevant."
**[09:20] Olivia**
Okay, here I go.
**[09:22] Olivia**
I-I couldn't sleep last night.
**[09:25] Olivia**
Why could that be?
**[09:28] Aozora**
Does that have something to
do with why you talked to me?
**[09:31] Olivia**
Y-Yes.
**[09:34] Hanako**
* Wait, Aozora-san talks with*
* a male first-person pronoun?*
**[09:37] Kasumi**
*I think that settles it right there.*
**[09:38] Hanako**
*She* could *just be a bokukko.*
**[09:40] Hanako**
*We don't know yet.*
**[09:41] Aozora**
Were we really noisy in that argument?
**[09:45] Olivia**
Y-Yes.
**[09:47] Aozora**
Could you hear what we were saying?
**[09:51] Olivia**
N-No.
**[09:54] Hanako**
Olivia!
**[09:55] Hanako**
Why are you hesitating?!
**[09:56] Olivia**
Sorry, she scared me a little.
**[09:58] Aozora**
How much did you hear?
**[10:00] Olivia**
U-Up to the part about you being a...
**[10:04] Aozora**
Staaaaaaaare.
**[10:07] Olivia**
No!
**[10:08] Olivia**
I can't stand this tension anymore!
**[10:11] Aozora**
I know why you talked to me now.
**[10:13] Aozora**
But that's a mistake.
**[10:16] Aozora**
I just told a lie because I kind
of wanted to break up with him.
**[10:19] Aozora**
Although it didn't work out.
**[10:21] Olivia**
O-Oh, I see.
**[10:25] Olivia**
Sorry, I had the wrong idea.
**[10:28] Kasumi**
*Scary...*
**[10:28] Kasumi**
But why do you always change
in the washroom for Phys Ed?
**[10:34] Aozora**
I mean, I'm embarrassed to change
in front of everyone else.
**[10:39] Kasumi**
*S-So cute.*
**[10:41] Hanako**
*So fake!*
**[10:43] N**
* Hanako was the only one for whom her*
* animalistic sense of danger kicked in.*
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Maeda's Curse
**[10:54] President**
Oka-san...
**[10:56] President**
I'm very sorry,
**[10:58] President**
but you're the only one left in the
Supernatural Phenomena Science Club.
**[11:02] President**
If you don't find people
by the end of the term,
**[11:04] President**
I'll have to downgrade you
to a circle for next team.
**[11:08] President**
W-We'll provide 10,000 yen in
club fees, even as a circle.
**[11:19] President**
*Th-That was scary.*
**[11:24] Oka**
*What can I do?*
**[11:27] Oka**
* Two of them graduated, one transferred,*
* and the last one was teleported.*
**[11:34] Oka**
* I wonder if there's anyone around*
* who's interested in the occult.*
**[11:40] Hanako**
Here we go.
**[11:41] Hanako**
Kokkuri-san, Kokkuri-san, are you there?
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[11:44] Hanako**
If you are, move to "yes."
***SIGN*** Yes
**[11:51] Hanako**
Who put that weird patch on my pants?
**[11:56] [SONG] Text**
Ma
**[11:57] [SONG] Text**
e
**[11:58] [SONG] Text**
da
**[11:59] Hanako**
Damn it, I knew it!
**[12:01] Kasumi**
*I moved it thinking it would be Maeda-san.*
**[12:04] Kasumi**
*I'm so glad everyone thought the same.*
**[12:05] Olivia**
*I thought it'd be Maeda-chan, too.*
**[12:07] Hanako**
Okay, Olivia, is there anything
you want to ask next?
**[12:09] Olivia**
Let's see...
**[12:12] Oka**
Um... that...
**[12:15] Hanako**
I-I'm sorry!
**[12:16] Hanako**
We were just messing around!
**[12:18] Oka**
You're Kokkuri-san, right?
**[12:19] Hanako**
No, she's from Class 4.
**[12:21] Oka**
No, err...
**[12:24] Oka**
Do you like the occult?
**[12:27] Hanako**
No, not really.
**[12:31] Hanako**
*Huh?*
**[12:32] Kasumi**
*What?*
**[12:33] Olivia**
Want to play with us?
**[12:37] Oka**
Okay, just a little.
**[12:39] Olivia**
Hey, now that I get a better
look, it's Oka-san from Class 4.
**[12:42] Kasumi**
*You don't need a good look to see that!*
**[12:44] Oka**
Yes.
**[12:45] Oka**
I'm a member of the Supernatural
Phenomena Science Club,
**[12:47] Oka**
also known as the SuperSci Club.
**[12:50] Oka**
But I'm the only member right now.
**[12:53] Oka**
We'll end up being downgraded to a
circle next term, unless things change.
**[12:58] Oka**
We'll be the same as the Pass Club.
**[13:03] Hanako**
*Huh?*
**[13:04] Hanako**
* We aren't even recognized as*
* a circle right now, are we?*
**[13:07] Olivia**
Oh, hey, do you know of any
occult-ish games, then?
**[13:11] Oka**
Occult-ish games, huh?
**[13:13] Oka**
Let's see...
**[13:15] Oka**
One-person hide-and-seek.
**[13:17] Olivia**
How does that work?
**[13:18] Oka**
Do you have any plushies or anything?
**[13:20] Oka**
Does this work?
**[13:21] Oka**
Okay, I'll give a quick explanation.
**[13:24] Oka**
You're supposed to do this at night,
**[13:26] Oka**
but since this is just a
game, let's ignore that part.
***SIGN*** Cotton
**[13:29] Oka**
Step one...
**[13:30] Oka**
Pull the cotton out from inside.
***SIGN*** Nails Rice Red string
**[13:33] Oka**
Two...
**[13:34] Oka**
Replace it with rice and nails,
and sew it back with red string.
**[13:38] Oka**
Three...
**[13:39] Oka**
Tie the left over string around
it, and give him a name.
**[13:44] Oka**
What would you like to name him?
**[13:45] Hanako**
Maeda, then.
**[13:47] Oka**
Let's make a team with the four of us.
**[13:50] Hanako**
Okay, Team Pass Club.
**[13:51] Oka**
First to be *it* is Team Pass Club.
**[13:54] Oka**
First to be *it* is Team Pass Club.
**[13:56] Oka**
First to be *it* is Team Oka Ken.
**[13:59] Hanako**
*Huh?*
**[13:59] Hanako**
*Did she just take over?*
**[14:00] Oka**
Okay, now we put this in the sink.
***SIGN*** Girls
**[14:03] Oka**
Let's go to the washroom, everyone.
**[14:08] Oka**
Is there a TV anywhere?
**[14:11] Kasumi**
Oh, I get 1seg on my phone.
**[14:15] Oka**
Close your eyes for ten seconds.
***SIGN*** Girls
**[14:18] Oka**
And come back, and...
**[14:20] Oka**
Found you, Maeda.
**[14:27] Oka**
Maeda's *it* now.
**[14:30] Oka**
Now, let's go hide with a cup of salt water.
**[14:35] Oka**
Where shall we hide?
**[14:37] Kasumi**
How about under the club room table, then?
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[14:44] Oka**
*Oh, man...*
**[14:46] Oka**
*This is so fun.*
**[14:50] Hanako**
Wh-What?!
**[14:52] Hanako**
Hey, what part of this is occult?
**[14:55] Oka**
From what I heard, the doll will
come looking for us or something.
**[15:01] Hanako**
No way!
**[15:02] Hanako**
This is one of those curse things!
**[15:05] Oka**
Wait up.
**[15:07] Oka**
If we're going to go look for him, we
have to drink the salt water together.
**[15:11] Hanako**
Okay, okay.
**[15:12] Oka**
We each just need a sip.
**[15:14] Oka**
We need to leave some to throw onto the doll.
***SIGN*** Girls
**[15:18] Hanako**
Maeda!
**[15:26] Oka**
Wait, is it actually gone?
**[15:30] Oka**
Oh, no.
**[15:32] Oka**
We have to find it quick.
**[15:34] Oka**
Or it's going to look for us forever.
**[15:39] Oka**
Someone!
**[15:40] Oka**
Has anyone seen a turd
with a box cutter stuck in it?!
**[15:42] Oka**
A turd with a box cutter in it!
**[15:43] Kasumi**
H-Hanako-san!
**[15:47] Kasumi**
Olivia-san, are you okay?
**[15:48] Olivia**
I was playing it cool, but I'm
mad chicken with horror, dawg!
**[15:53] Kasumi**
Okay, I got it.
**[15:54] Kasumi**
You're so scared that you
go out of character, huh?
**[15:56] Sensei**
Sorry, I'm late.
***SIGN*** Pastimers' Club Club Notes
**[15:58] Hanako**
Sensei!
**[15:59] Hanako**
Have you seen Maeda?
**[16:00] Sensei**
N-Not today.
**[16:03] Hanako**
Sensei!
**[16:04] Hanako**
If you see a turd with a box cutter in it,
**[16:06] Hanako**
it's Maeda, so say "I found
you!" and set it on fire!
**[16:09] Sensei**
* I wonder if she's been snorting*
* too much Ha**yturn powder.*
**[16:12] Kasumi**
Sensei, Olivia-san...
**[16:14] Olivia**
How do we run away from poo?
**[16:18] Sensei**
Olivia-san, want to come to
the nurse's office with me?
**[16:21] Hanako**
I shouldn't have played
one-person hide-and-seek!
**[16:25] Sensei**
*Is that that cooking show on TV?*
**[16:27] Hanako**
My life is over!
**[16:29] Person A**
Who the hell leaves a turd in the sink? Jeez.
**[16:32] Person B**
We're such good people, fixing the drain.
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Sex Ed
**[16:46] Person A**
Hey, where should we go today?
**[16:48] Person B**
Sorry, I'm meeting up
with my boyfriend after.
**[16:50] Person A**
Really?
**[16:51] Person A**
Oh, is it that guy who hit on you before?
**[16:54] Person B**
Yeah, we ended up actually
going steady after that.
**[16:56] Person A**
Good for you.
**[16:57] Person A**
I'm going to Maihama Sea
with my boyfriend next week.
**[17:00] Person B**
Lucky.
**[17:01] Person B**
I think I'll beg him, too.
**[17:03] Person A**
Do it.
**[17:04] Person A**
In fact, why don't we make it a double date?
**[17:05] Person B**
That sounds awesome.
***SIGN*** Pastimers' Club
**[17:08] Hanako**
I want a boyfriend.
**[17:13] Olivia**
Why?
**[17:14] Hanako**
Why?!
**[17:14] Hanako**
A girl's gonna want a
boyfriend or two, you know?!
**[17:21] Olivia**
Isn't it too much trouble?
**[17:22] Hanako**
It's not too much trouble!
**[17:23] Hanako**
I want to go to Sea with my boyfriend!
**[17:25] Olivia**
Hanako...
**[17:26] Olivia**
Why don't you go with
Maeda-chan if you want a guy?
**[17:28] Hanako**
What fun is there in going with Maeda?!
**[17:31] Hanako**
I want a boy my age!
**[17:34] Olivia**
Okay, okay.
**[17:36] Olivia**
Kasumi.
**[17:37] Hanako**
You're late.
**[17:38] Kasumi**
I had day duty.
**[17:40] Kasumi**
What were you guys talking
so excitedly about?
**[17:42] Hanako**
Boyfriends.
**[17:43] Kasumi**
Huh?
**[17:46] Kasumi**
Shouldn't you be talking about something
a little more meaningful to your lives?
**[17:52] Olivia**
S-Sorry.
**[17:55] Hanako**
But you know, Kasumi-san,
you say that, but...
**[17:59] Hanako**
I know your type is the first to get married.
**[18:04] Kasumi**
Who gave you that data?
**[18:06] Olivia**
I don't know if you can have
a boyfriend, though, Hanako.
**[18:10] Hanako**
What's that supposed to mean?!
**[18:11] Olivia**
You have a dirty personality.
**[18:12] Olivia**
To have a boyfriend, you
have to be, more, floaty.
**[18:18] Hanako**
I see.
**[18:19] Hanako**
Floaty, huh?
**[18:21] Hanako**
Your opinion, as someone who
doesn't have a boyfriend,
**[18:23] Hanako**
isn't worth more than a poopy sheet of
toilet paper that's gone down the toilet.
**[18:25] Hanako**
But I'll take it into consideration.
**[18:26] Olivia**
Ouch!
**[18:27] Olivia**
That's what I'm talking about!
**[18:29] Hanako**
All right, I'm going to be the
world's top boyfriended woman!
**[18:34] Kasumi**
* Wait, was that the scale of*
* what we were talking about?*
**[18:37] Olivia**
What do you even want to do
with a boyfriend, anyway?
**[18:40] Hanako**
Um...
**[18:42] Hanako**
This might be a bit early, but...
**[18:47] Hanako**
This is so embarrassing.
**[18:49] Hanako**
I want to hold hands and walk together.
**[18:56] Hanako**
And then I want to get married
at about 25 and have two babies.
**[19:01] Olivia**
Do you know how babies are made?
**[19:03] Hanako**
O-Of course I do.
**[19:05] Hanako**
They're made when you French kiss, right?
**[19:07] Kasumi**
Do you even know what a French kiss is?
**[19:10] Hanako**
It has the word "kiss" in it, but it's
something that isn't actually, right?
**[19:13] Kasumi**
No, it's kissing.
**[19:14] Hanako**
Really?
**[19:15] Hanako**
Then what's Frenching?
**[19:17] Kasumi**
Um...
**[19:18] Olivia**
Oh, I know.
**[19:20] Olivia**
Maybe it's a corruption of "frontal cocks kisses."
**[19:25] Hanako**
So...
**[19:26] Olivia**
If you kiss with his cock
out, you'll have a baby.
**[19:28] Hanako**
I get it.
**[19:29] Kasumi**
Hold up!
**[19:30] Kasumi**
That's totally wrong!
**[19:31] Kasumi**
It has nothing to do with
full frontal anythings!
**[19:35] Kasumi**
To have a baby, you...
**[19:40] Kasumi**
You...
**[19:42] Kasumi**
You dock.
**[19:46] Kasumi**
You dock.
**[19:48] Kasumi**
This is why I hate men!
**[19:51] Olivia**
What was that?
**[19:51] Olivia**
A robot transformation?
**[19:52] Hanako**
Okay, can you use these dolls
to explain how to make babies?
**[19:57] Kasumi**
W-With dolls?
**[19:59] Kasumi**
Okay, then.
**[20:00] Kasumi**
Um...
**[20:08] Kasumi**
I'm sorry, this is the best I can do.
**[20:10] Kasumi**
*I don't know what I'm doing anymore.*
**[20:12] Hanako**
What is this?
**[20:13] Hanako**
What's even going on?
**[20:14] Olivia**
The guy gets on top of the girl.
**[20:17] Hanako**
What does he do on top?
**[20:19] Olivia**
The person on top sends radio
waves from his brain to hers.
**[20:23] Olivia**
"Create child."
**[20:24] Olivia**
"We spawn child."
**[20:26] Kasumi**
That's horror!
**[20:27] Kasumi**
That's totally horror!
***SIGN*** Pastimers' Club Club Notes
**[20:28] Sensei**
Guys, sorry I'm late.
**[20:31] Olivia**
Sensei, I'm glad you're here.
**[20:32] Olivia**
There's something I want to ask you.
**[20:33] Olivia**
How are babies made?
**[20:35] Sensei**
Huh?
**[20:36] Sensei**
Didn't you learn in health class?
**[20:40] Sensei**
*Oh, dear.*
**[20:42] Sensei**
Well, you see...
**[20:44] Sensei**
The man...
**[20:47] Sensei**
The man's thing goes there, and...
**[20:51] Sensei**
*I can't explain it out loud.*
**[20:53] Sensei**
I don't know, either.
**[20:55] Olivia**
Aww.
**[20:56] Hanako**
What can you expect? She's not married.
**[20:59] Sensei**
*They're so easily convinced!*
**[21:00] Hanako**
I wish someone would
explain using these dolls.
**[21:04] Sensei**
I can, as long as I don't
have to explain in words.
**[21:06] Hanako**
But you said you don't know.
**[21:08] Sensei**
The answer just suddenly came to me.
**[21:10] Sensei**
So...
**[21:12] Sensei**
* The way my friend explained*
* it the other day...*
**[21:15] (Flashback) Friend**
Oh my gosh, it was the best.
**[21:20] Sensei**
It was like...
**[21:24] Olivia**
A circus?
**[21:25] Sensei**
My friend said it felt really good.
**[21:30] Kasumi**
*Sensei...*
**[21:31] Kasumi**
*You could have just kept it normal.*
**[21:33] Hanako**
Sensei, I don't get it.
**[21:36] Sensei**
Okay, I'll make one that's
easier to understand.
**[21:45] Hanako**
Seeing this, I feel like...
**[21:47] Hanako**
I don't really care to have kids anymore.
**[21:50] Hanako**
Tuition's expensive and stuff.
**[21:51] Olivia**
Yeah.
**[21:52] Sensei**
I-I kind of want one.
**[21:55] N**
* Will there ever be a solution*
* to the declining birth rate?*
***SIGN*** Japanese Pastimes, Please
**[23:33] ---**
Hey! I've seen this at some kind of museum!
***SIGN*** Sex Ed Dolls
***SIGN*** The Hakone Open-air Muse—
# 6 - Asterisk | Studying for Exams | A New Look | Spirited Combat, Again
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/G6MEG24VR/asobi-asobase---workshop-of-fun--)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Asterisk
**[01:35] Oka**
Would you like to read
*Key of Solomon* together?
**[01:39] Hanako**
Um...
**[01:41] Hanako**
You say that like you'd say "Want to
read a fashion magazine together?"
**[01:44] Hanako**
But that's not a fashion magazine, is it?
**[01:46] Oka**
You're right.
**[01:48] Oka**
But it's one of the more
well-known magic books.
**[01:52] Hanako**
* Yeah, but magic books as a*
* whole aren't really mainstream.*
**[01:57] Kasumi**
How has your hunt for
club members been going?
**[02:00] Oka**
No one, yet.
**[02:01] Hanako**
Why did you end up on your
own all of a sudden, anyway?
**[02:04] Oka**
Um...
**[02:05] Oka**
Two graduated, one transferred,
and the last one got teleported.
**[02:11] Kasumi**
*She says it like she just faxed them.*
**[02:13] Hanako**
So two graduated and two transferred, right?
**[02:17] Oka**
No, one got teleported.
**[02:19] Hanako**
It's okay, that's what I heard.
**[02:22] Kasumi**
But teleported where?
**[02:24] Oka**
Well...
**[02:25] Oka**
She's been saying she wanted to go, so possibly to the River Styx,
**[02:30] Oka**
which would take her to Hades.
**[02:33] Kasumi**
*She says it like she went to visit Skytree.*
**[02:36] Hanako**
So what's the name of this
person that got teleported?
**[02:39] Oka**
Agrippa.
**[02:40] Hanako**
No, not her nickname, her real name.
**[02:42] Oka**
Mato Aguri.
**[02:44] Hanako**
All right.
**[02:45] Hanako**
Let's head to the faculty room.
**[02:47] Kasumi**
Yeah.
**[02:48] Oka**
Wh-Why?
**[02:49] Hanako**
Let's ask the teachers what happened to her.
***SIGN*** Faculty Room
**[02:53] Sensei**
Mato-san?
**[02:54] Hanako**
Was there anyone with that name in our year?
**[02:58] Sensei**
Um, hang on.
**[03:00] Sensei**
Oh, there was, in Class 1.
**[03:02] Hanako**
What happened to her?
**[03:05] Sensei**
U-Um...
**[03:07] Sensei**
It looks like she's ill.
**[03:13] Oka**
What do you mean by that?
**[03:14] Oka**
Ill?
**[03:15] Oka**
I never heard about this!
**[03:18] Sensei**
Y-Yeah?
**[03:22] Oka**
Where is she?
**[03:24] Oka**
Which hospital is she at?
**[03:27] Sensei**
If she hasn't told you herself,
I'm not sure I should.
**[03:33] Sensei**
But hey, don't worry too much.
**[03:37] Sensei**
She'll be all better and
back at school soon enough.
**[03:40] Sensei**
You can see her then.
**[03:47] Hanako**
Th-Thank you, Sensei.
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[03:54] Olivia**
Oka-san, are you okay?
**[04:00] Kasumi**
Did Mato-san seem ill at all?
**[04:04] Oka**
I can't believe I didn't notice, but
just before she got teleported...
**[04:11] (Flashback) Noto**
Hey, have you read *Heptaméron*?
**[04:14] (Flashback) Oka**
I have.
**[04:15] (Flashback) Noto**
I heard it was written by Pietro d'Abano,
but apparently that's BS.
**[04:20] (Flashback) Oka**
Yeah, Pietro d'Abano is
from the 13th century,
**[04:23] (Flashback) Oka**
and *Heptaméron* is supposed to have
been written in the late 16th century.
**[04:27] (Flashback) Noto**
I know.
**[04:29] (Flashback) Noto**
But...
**[04:33] (Flashback) Noto**
Hang on, I'm going to lie down for a bit.
**[04:39] (Flashback) Oka**
Are you sick?
**[04:42] (Flashback) Noto**
No, not at all.
**[04:44] (Flashback) Noto**
I'm just tired from P.E. again.
**[04:47] (Flashback) Oka**
Okay.
**[04:52] (Flashback) Noto**
Hey...
**[04:53] (Flashback) Noto**
I'm secretly making the Fifth
Pentacle of the Sun right now.
**[05:01] (Flashback) Noto**
So if I suddenly vanish one day,
**[05:04] (Flashback) Noto**
just think of it as being because
my transportation magic worked.
**[05:11] (Flashback) Oka**
You're always so ambitious, Agrippa.
**[05:18] (Flashback) Oka**
But please don't vanish on me.
**[05:24] Oka**
That happened shortly before she went away.
**[05:30] Oka**
Why didn't I notice what was happening?
**[05:41] Olivia**
Oka-san!
**[05:41] Olivia**
What about magic?
**[05:43] Olivia**
Is there any magic that'll
help her get better?
**[05:46] Oka**
That stuff doesn't really work.
**[05:49] Olivia**
Wait!
**[05:50] Olivia**
Why are you suddenly being so realistic?
**[05:52] Olivia**
You always have so much
blind faith in the occult.
**[05:54] Olivia**
Please don't come to your senses *now*.
**[05:59] Oka**
Olivia-san...
**[06:02] Oka**
Do you think someone even at my
level could make a difference?
**[06:07] Olivia**
You would!
**[06:08] Olivia**
It would definitely work!
**[06:10] Hanako**
All right, I'm going to do this magic, too!
**[06:13] Kasumi**
I-I'll help, too.
**[06:18] Hanako**
So what's this magic we're doing?
**[06:20] Oka**
Let's see...
**[06:21] Oka**
How about this doll magic from New Orleans?
**[06:25] Oka**
The voodoo doll.
**[06:28] Oka**
First, fasten two pieces
of wood into a cross.
**[06:31] Oka**
Next, wind it up in string, and
add to it the person's likeness.
**[06:39] Kasumi**
* I can't tell how that looks*
* any different from Oka-san.*
**[06:42] Oka**
Next, we prepare marking pins.
**[06:46] Oka**
We use different colored marking
pins depending on what we're doing.
**[06:50] Oka**
We're trying to rid her of the suffering
that is illness, so we use black.
**[06:56] Oka**
And I want to stab the part where she's ill,
and chant, "Suffering, be gone," but...
**[07:06] Oka**
But...
**[07:09] Oka**
*Where am I supposed to stab her?*
**[07:13] Oka**
*Where was Agrippa ill?*
**[07:19] Oka**
*Why didn't she tell me anything?*
**[07:27] Olivia**
Let's stab her all over, then.
**[07:29] Olivia**
We don't have to know where she's sick
if we stab her all over and chant,
**[07:32] Olivia**
"Get better all over."
**[07:33] Oka**
Y-You're right.
**[07:36] Oka**
Get better, Agrippa.
**[07:40] Oka**
Get better...
**[07:42] Oka**
Get better...
**[07:47] Kasumi**
*Th-That looks brutal.*
**[07:49] Oka**
I hope she gets better now.
**[07:52] Oka**
Oh, I'll go see if there're
more charms that'll work.
**[07:56] Olivia**
Okay.
**[07:57] Oka**
Thank you, Pastimers Club.
**[08:01] Oka**
I shall meet Agrippa again.
**[08:08] Sensei**
Sorry I'm late.
**[08:10] Sensei**
Huh, what were you up to?
**[08:11] Kasumi**
We were praying with a voodoo
doll for Mato-san to get better.
**[08:15] Sensei**
Huh.
**[08:15] Sensei**
Did you stab her butt, too, then?
**[08:18] Hanako**
No, we didn't. Why?
**[08:20] Sensei**
Oh, really?
**[08:21] Sensei**
No, I didn't mean anything by that.
**[08:23] Sensei**
Never mind.
**[08:25] Sensei**
* I thought I shouldn't tell them, since*
* she's getting surgery for hemorrhoids,*
**[08:28] Sensei**
*but I hope I'm making the right decision.*
**[08:32] Narrator**
* A week later, they were*
* reunited with Agrippa.*
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Studying for Exams
**[08:41] Sensei**
I'm handing out the results
for the first term exams.
**[08:44] Sensei**
Ando-san.
**[08:45] Person**
Yes.
**[08:46] Sensei**
Ito-san.
**[08:47] Person**
Yes.
**[08:47] Hanako**
*Cower before me, pitiful masses.*
**[08:51] Hanako**
*Behold my true potential.*
**[08:53] Hanako**
* I've been studying diligently*
* this whole time,*
**[08:55] Hanako**
* and then for the last two*
* weeks before the exam,*
**[08:56] Hanako**
*I went on just three hours of sleep a day.*
**[08:58] Hanako**
* The result? An average grade over five*
* subjects and secondary courses of 98.2.*
**[09:03] Hanako**
*Shoot, I'm getting the chills,
picturing myself at the peak.*
**[09:09] ---**
*I'm so turned on!*
**[09:10] Sensei**
Honda-san.
**[09:11] Hanako**
Yes.
***SIGN*** Total grade Average Year Ranking 884 98.2 2nd
***SIGN*** Year Ranking 2nd
**[09:17] Person A**
You got first again this
year, Misa-chan? Wow.
**[09:20] Misa**
I'm awesome, right?
**[09:21] Person A**
You're kidding... Weren't
you messing around a lot?
**[09:23] Misa**
That's not true.
**[09:25] Misa**
I was studying with my boyfriend.
**[09:30] N**
*And then what happened?*
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[09:33] Hanako**
*Strange.*
**[09:34] Hanako**
*Something's not right.*
**[09:36] Hanako**
* I've been abstaining from fashion and*
* relationships to focus on my studies.*
**[09:41] Hanako**
* From the looks of it, I spent a*
* lot more time studying than her.*
**[09:46] Hanako**
* So why am I being outdone by a wretched*
* slut who doesn't take life seriously?*
**[09:51] N**
*Please understand, audience,*
**[09:53] N**
* that Hanako's thoughts have become*
* somewhat violent from the shock.*
**[09:59] N**
* Hanako had trusted that results*
* were proportionate to effort.*
**[10:04] N**
*She didn't want to believe in the possibility*
**[10:09] N**
* that they had a difference*
* in innate intelligence,*
**[10:12] N**
* and that she had lost because*
* she was not as gifted.*
**[10:14] N**
*And sadder still,*
**[10:18] N**
* the other two had bombed, and*
* were taking remedial classes.*
**[10:23] Hanako**
* Being by myself is making me stew*
* in negative thoughts even more.*
**[10:30] Hanako**
* Kasumi-san did pretty bad*
* on the English exam again.*
**[10:35] Hanako**
* What kind of special skills*
* does it take to do so bad?*
**[10:41] Hanako**
* You could easily pass by just memorizing*
* some words and example sentences.*
**[10:48] Hanako**
*Although she* is *trying.*
**[10:51] Hanako**
* Her efforts aren't quite*
* sticking to her brain.*
**[10:54] Hanako**
* They're seeping out of her*
* ears and being converted*
**[10:56] Hanako**
*into atmospheric nitrogen, I'm sure.*
**[10:59] Hanako**
*As for Olivia...*
**[11:02] Hanako**
*Why doesn't she ever study for anything?*
***SIGN*** Two weeks before the exams
**[11:09] (Flashback) Olivia**
What're you up to, Hanako?
**[11:10] (Flashback) Hanako**
The term exams are coming up.
**[11:12] (Flashback) Hanako**
I thought I'd make good use of my time.
**[11:14] (Flashback) Olivia**
From two weeks ahead?
**[11:16] (Flashback) Hanako**
You'll be freaking out if you slack
off until a week before, Olivia.
**[11:22] (Flashback) Olivia**
Why not just cram it all the night before?
**[11:24] (Flashback) Hanako**
Cram it?
**[11:26] (Flashback) Hanako**
I don't think you can, with all the
subjects that are on the term exams.
**[11:28] (Flashback) Olivia**
That's not true.
**[11:30] (Flashback) Olivia**
You just need to wing it so you don't fail.
**[11:33] Hanako**
*But you *did* fail!*
**[11:37] Maeda**
Hanako-sama, congratulations
on ranking second in the year.
**[11:40] Hanako**
Don't suddenly pop up like that, damn it!
**[11:42] Maeda**
But I was here the whole time.
**[11:43] Hanako**
That's even freakier!
**[11:45] Hanako**
Uh...
**[11:46] Hanako**
How much did you hear?
**[11:48] Maeda**
Huh?
**[11:48] Maeda**
Er, you were silent the whole time.
**[11:51] Hanako**
O-Okay.
**[11:53] Maeda**
But I did sense an aura
of "That girl in first
**[11:55] Maeda**
isn't going to get away with making
it to the top canoodling with boys."
**[11:59] Hanako**
Can't you be a little more tactful?!
**[12:01] Hanako**
But I feel like you're winning
at life if you make first.
**[12:05] Hanako**
How can I not get jealous?
**[12:07] Maeda**
Hanako-sama, I disagree.
**[12:10] Maeda**
You think you've already won or lost
at life at middle school? Hilarious!
**[12:15] Hanako**
Are you cheering me up or making fun of me?
**[12:18] Maeda**
But I'd taken notice of your distress,
**[12:20] Maeda**
and have been working in
secret with your grandfather.
**[12:24] Hanako**
With Grandpa?
**[12:25] Maeda**
Yes.
**[12:25] Maeda**
I'd spoken with him about it before.
**[12:28] (Flashback) Maeda**
Hanako-sama seems to want a lover.
**[12:31] (Flashback) Grandpa**
What?
**[12:32] (Flashback) Grandpa**
Hana-chan does?
**[12:33] (Flashback) Grandpa**
She doesn't even have all of her
pubic hair. She's too young.
**[12:38] (Flashback) Maeda**
No, I'm quite sure she has
a full coat of pubic hair.
**[12:40] Hanako**
I'm going to take both of you
to court for sexual harassment!
**[12:43] Maeda**
And so the two of us built this together...
**[12:45] Maeda**
The Honda family's home-built android,
**[12:47] Maeda**
Eighteen Summer "You Have Such
Beautiful Fingers" Koichi-kun.
**[12:50] Hanako**
*Th-This reeks of despair.*
**[12:53] Hanako**
You don't need to bother.
**[12:54] Maeda**
Hang on, he has voice functionality, too.
**[12:57] Android**
Come on, this problem isn't even
that hard. You can do better.
**[13:03] Hanako**
He's not bad.
**[13:04] Maeda**
Yes.
**[13:05] Maeda**
The two of us worked hard recording
the voices for you, Hanako-sama.
**[13:08] Hanako**
You two recorded this voice?!
**[13:09] Maeda**
Please, give it a try.
**[13:12] N**
*And then what happened?*
**[13:17] Hanako**
*Th-This is creepier than I thought.*
**[13:20] Android**
Hey.
**[13:21] Android**
You made a mistake.
**[13:22] Hanako**
Right.
**[13:24] Hanako**
Sorry.
**[13:25] Android**
Wrong.
**[13:26] Hanako**
Huh?
**[13:26] Android**
You mean, "teehee."
**[13:28] Hanako**
*Holy shit, he's annoying!*
**[13:30] Hanako**
I don't think I need this.
**[13:32] Maeda**
W-Wait, please!
**[13:33] Maeda**
We made it based on simulations of
conversations that a maiden would enjoy.
**[13:36] Maeda**
By our calculations, he's perfect!
**[13:37] Hanako**
There's no way you and Grandpa could
have made a perfect simulation!
**[13:41] Hanako**
Wait up.
**[13:42] Android**
Hana-chan, has Aunt Flo come to visit?
**[13:45] Android**
You sound vulgar, miss.
**[13:47] Hanako**
You sound just like Grandpa
and it's vulgar as hell!
**[13:51] Hanako**
I'm going to destroy you!
**[13:54] Maeda**
Hanako-sama!
**[13:55] Olivia**
You don't have remedial
classes tomorrow, Kasumi?
**[13:57] Kasumi**
I don't.
**[13:58] Kasumi**
And you got through all the
remedial classes, too, huh?
**[14:04] Kasumi**
*We were just gone for remedial classes...*
**[14:07] Kasumi**
*...and Hanako-san had killed a man!*
**[14:11] Hanako**
Wait, that's not it, you two!
**[14:12] Hanako**
It's a doll!
**[14:14] Android**
Hana-chan, how could you?
**[14:17] Kasumi**
The decapitated head is talking!
**[14:19] Hanako**
That's not what it is!
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** A New Look
**[14:36] Olivia**
*So hot...*
**[14:39] Olivia**
*I want to cut my hair.*
**[14:42] Hanako**
A boy birdie and a girl birdie,
flirtie flirt, flirtie flirt...
**[14:48] Hanako**
Olivia, you're already here.
**[14:53] Hanako**
No, Olivia!
**[14:54] Olivia**
What, Hanako?
**[14:55] Hanako**
Don't!
**[14:57] Hanako**
Cutting your hair won't fix your B.O.!
**[15:02] Olivia**
I just wanted to cut my
hair because it's hot.
**[15:07] Olivia**
What did you just say?
**[15:15] Hanako**
Sorry, I lost my memories.
**[15:17] Hanako**
You shouldn't cut it yourself, though.
**[15:19] Hanako**
You have to go to a stylist.
**[15:21] Olivia**
I'll go if I mess up cutting it myself.
**[15:23] Hanako**
Don't!
**[15:25] Kasumi**
Sorry I'm late.
**[15:26] Kasumi**
I stopped by the library.
**[15:27] Olivia**
Let go! Let go!
**[15:29] Olivia**
The scissors!
**[15:29] Hanako**
Get back, I'll stab you!
**[15:31] Kasumi**
Did you break up?
**[15:32] Olivia**
Not at all.
**[15:33] Olivia**
It's just so hot.
**[15:34] Kasumi**
Oh, I see.
**[15:35] Kasumi**
But you have such nice hair,
it'd be a shame to cut it.
**[15:39] Hanako**
She's right.
**[15:39] Hanako**
You have cute curly hair.
**[15:41] Hanako**
Why don't you tie it in a
ponytail if it's too hot?
**[15:43] Olivia**
It gets even more stuffy
inside with a ponytail.
**[15:46] Olivia**
Aren't you hot, Hanako?
**[15:47] Hanako**
I'm fine so far.
**[15:49] Olivia**
Oh.
**[15:50] Hanako**
So how much were you going to cut?
**[15:52] Olivia**
Very short.
**[15:53] Kasumi**
That's even more of a reason to
have a professional do it for you.
**[15:56] Hanako**
Yeah.
**[15:57] Hanako**
If you do it yourself and mess up,
**[15:59] Hanako**
you'll seriously have no choice
but to shave it all off.
**[16:00] Olivia**
I'll try cutting just a little, then.
**[16:03] Olivia**
If I screw up, I'll go see a stylist.
**[16:15] Olivia**
I'm sorry, I can't do it!
**[16:17] Olivia**
Undo it, please!
**[16:18] Hanako**
Nope, nope, nope!
**[16:19] Olivia**
Oh no, I shouldn't have done it!
**[16:22] Olivia**
Hair is what makes a woman!
**[16:24] Hanako**
Exactly, it's what makes a woman!
**[16:27] Kasumi**
U-Um...
**[16:28] Kasumi**
No one can tell the difference. Don't worry.
**[16:33] Olivia**
Oh, really?
**[16:35] Hanako**
Sheesh, don't scare me like that.
**[16:37] Hanako**
Let's try practicing on your bangs, then.
**[16:39] Kasumi**
*How has she not learned her lesson?!*
***SIGN*** Snip
**[16:48] Hanako**
This is bad!
**[16:50] Hanako**
You cut way too much of your bangs!
**[16:51] Olivia**
You were the one who told me to do it!
**[16:53] Hanako**
I didn't think you'd cut it so far!
**[16:55] Hanako**
Like, a millimeter!
**[16:55] Hanako**
A millimeter!
**[16:56] Kasumi**
H-Hey, that much is...
**[17:00] Kasumi**
hard not to notice.
**[17:01] Olivia**
You aren't trying to cheer me up, are you?
**[17:03] Olivia**
You're trying to finish me off!
**[17:04] Kasumi**
You could fix it by taking hair from
the back and using it as your bangs.
**[17:08] Olivia**
L-Like this?
**[17:10] Kasumi**
Y-Yeah.
**[17:10] Kasumi**
And then cut it to the
same length as your bangs.
**[17:17] Olivia**
I-Is it back to normal?
**[17:21] Kasumi**
It isn't.
**[17:23] Olivia**
Come on, you're killing me!
**[17:27] Kasumi**
It's no use.
**[17:28] Kasumi**
Let's go the stylist's.
**[17:30] Hanako**
Yeah.
**[17:31] Olivia**
But I can't go outside looking like this.
**[17:34] Hanako**
What do we do?
**[17:35] Kasumi**
What shall we do?
**[17:36] Olivia**
Nope.
**[17:36] Olivia**
I'm not leaving this room.
**[17:38] Sensei**
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
**[17:40] Hanako**
Sensei, Olivia's hair!
**[17:42] Sensei**
Huh? What's wrong?
**[17:43] Olivia**
I cut it myself and messed up.
**[17:45] Sensei**
Oh, dear.
**[17:46] Hanako**
Is there any way to hide it?
**[17:50] Sensei**
Okay, why don't you wear a hairband
and just brush your bangs back?
**[17:53] Olivia**
Like this.
**[17:54] Sensei**
Yeah.
**[17:58] Olivia**
I think this could work.
**[17:59] Olivia**
It's cool, too.
**[18:00] Hanako**
You're so smart, Sensei.
**[18:01] Olivia**
Oh, wait, m-my acne.
**[18:04] Olivia**
Never mind.
**[18:07] Hanako**
Is there any other way?
**[18:10] Olivia**
I'm never taking a step
out of this room again.
**[18:11] Sensei**
Um...
**[18:13] Sensei**
All right, I'll tidy it all up for you.
**[18:16] Sensei**
Believe it or not, I'm really
good at cutting bangs.
**[18:21] Sensei**
I cut my own bangs, after all.
**[18:24] ---**
*My own...*
**[18:26] ---**
*Her own?*
**[18:28] Olivia**
Wait, Sensei...
**[18:30] Olivia**
Sensei!
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Spirited Combat, Again
**[18:42] Hanako**
Hey, Sensei, you're already here.
**[18:44] Hanako**
Olivia.
**[18:45] Olivia**
How did you get that wrong?!
**[18:46] Hanako**
You have the same bangs.
**[18:49] Kasumi**
Hey, you're already here, Oli-sen—
**[18:52] Olivia**
That was a one-time mistake, right?
**[18:54] Olivia**
Don't you dare make it my nickname!
**[18:55] Hanako**
It sure is hot these days.
**[18:58] Hanako**
The floor's nice and cold.
**[19:01] Olivia**
Isn't that gross, Hanako?
**[19:03] Hanako**
Don't worry, Sensei cleans it every day.
**[19:06] Kasumi**
Oh yeah, there's a game in Hokkaido
**[19:08] Kasumi**
where you pull people out while
they're sitting like that.
**[19:11] Olivia**
What's that?
**[19:12] Hanako**
Oh yeah!
**[19:13] Hanako**
Daikon pulling, right?
**[19:14] Olivia**
Daikon?
**[19:14] Hanako**
You pull the pullee like
they're a daikon root.
**[19:18] Hanako**
This is how Maeda taught me when I was
little, so the rules might be a bit Maedafied.
**[19:23] Hanako**
Okay, Kasumi-san and I will go first.
**[19:25] Hanako**
You can watch.
**[19:26] Olivia**
Okay.
**[19:27] Hanako**
Kasumi-san's the daikon.
**[19:28] Hanako**
If I pull Kasumi-san out
of this circle, I win.
**[19:34] Olivia**
Daikon, takuan, buri
daikon, buri buri buri...
**[19:42] Olivia**
* This dance and song are*
* probably Maeda-chan's rules.*
**[19:46] Hanako**
K-Kasumi-san, may I place
my hands on your legs?
**[19:49] Kasumi**
Y-Yes.
**[19:51] Hanako**
R-Really?
**[19:53] Hanako**
Don't hit me later.
**[19:55] Kasumi**
Okay.
**[19:56] Olivia**
*Hanako's turning into a horny old dude.*
**[19:58] Hanako**
Here I go.
**[20:04] Hanako**
*Damn, she's so heavy.*
**[20:19] Hanako**
Something like that?
**[20:21] Olivia**
What was that? I don't get it.
**[20:23] Hanako**
I mean, it wouldn't be fun if
I showed you the whole thing, right?
**[20:26] Hanako**
I have to leave the best part
for you to try yourself.
**[20:29] Kasumi**
Hanako-san...
**[20:31] Kasumi**
I'll be *it* this time.
**[20:33] Hanako**
Y-Yeah.
**[20:34] Hanako**
*I feel bad. Sorry.*
**[20:35] Hanako**
Okay, Olivia and I are the daikon.
**[20:38] Olivia**
Okay.
**[20:43] Kasumi**
Daikon, takuan, buri
daikon, buri buri buri...
**[20:49] Olivia**
*Is that really necessary?*
**[20:53] Hanako**
We're moving fast!
**[20:55] Olivia**
Hang in there, Hanako!
**[21:00] Kasumi**
Hanako-san, you have to put more
strength in your lower back.
**[21:08] Kasumi**
Olivia! I'm levitating!
**[21:10] Olivia**
Hanako!
**[21:11] Olivia**
Mommy! Mommy!
**[21:14] Olivia**
*Shoot. She's going to take me with her.*
**[21:18] Olivia**
Olivia!
**[21:20] Olivia**
Why, Olivia?
**[21:22] Olivia**
Why have you betrayed me?
**[21:24] Olivia**
You're awful!
**[21:25] Olivia**
I don't want to die yet!
**[21:27] Olivia**
I'll see you on the other side, Olivia!
**[21:42] Kasumi**
Was this game always like this?
**[21:45] Olivia**
Things have gotten kind of awkward.
**[21:48] Kasumi**
Nah, Hanako-san was just over-acting.
**[21:51] Hanako**
You were totally into it, too, Kasumi-san.
**[21:53] Sensei**
Sorry I'm late, guys.
**[21:55] Hanako**
Sensei, let's play daikon pulling.
**[21:57] Sensei**
Oh, that's the game where you
tug at each other's legs, right?
**[22:01] Sensei**
I'm pretty good at holding on, you know.
***SIGN*** Noo!
**[22:07] N**
*She was the first to get pulled out.*
# 7 - Phantom Thieves: Pass Club | Woman of Terror | Weirdo Go | Boobie Tragedy
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/G6MEG24VR/asobi-asobase---workshop-of-fun--)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Phantom Thieves: Pass Club
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[01:36] Aozora**
I have to ask you for a favor.
**[01:39] Aozora**
There's something I need you to
find from the student council room.
**[01:42] Aozora**
The Banana Papers.
**[01:48] Hanako**
What's that?
**[01:51] Aozora**
I don't know much either.
**[01:53] Aozora**
I just know they have information
on scandals at school.
**[01:57] Aozora**
And that the Student Council President
is using it to blackmail students.
**[02:03] Aozora**
If it's true, it would be an invasion
of privacy, don't you think?
**[02:07] Aozora**
So please, I want you three to steal it.
**[02:12] Hanako**
I see.
**[02:13] Hanako**
So we just have to use our toys to
steal these so-called Banana Papers.
**[02:21] Aozora**
No, you can use whatever you want.
**[02:23] Hanako**
We can?!
**[02:24] Olivia**
Why would you ask us, then?
**[02:28] Aozora**
Because you smell sketchy.
**[02:30] Hanako**
She won't stop being mean!
**[02:32] Olivia**
B-But I don't think we're
obligated to steal it.
**[02:39] Aozora**
A sumo wrestler figure.
**[02:40] Olivia**
We'll do it!
**[02:43] Kasumi**
Uh... Olivia-sa—
**[02:44] Aozora**
*Conversational English for Idiots*.
**[02:46] Kasumi**
I'll do what I can.
**[02:51] Hanako**
Y-You aren't going to buy me out that easily.
**[02:56] Hanako**
I'm not that cheap!
**[02:58] Aozora**
And a bottle of nail polish for you, Hana-chan.
**[02:59] Aozora**
From the dollar store.
**[03:00] Hanako**
It's one of the Three Sacred
Treasures of the Popular Kids!
**[03:06] N**
*And then what happened?*
**[03:07] Olivia**
Hey, what do we do?
**[03:09] Kasumi**
I don't know.
**[03:10] Olivia**
I wonder if there's a good way to grab it.
**[03:12] Kasumi**
There's actually something I want to try.
**[03:16] Olivia**
What's that?
**[03:17] Kasumi**
How about we put out a warning?
***SIGN*** Kasumi the First is coming
**[03:19] Olivia**
*Kasumi talks like a complete dolt sometimes.*
**[03:22] Olivia**
No way.
**[03:23] Olivia**
That's just going to look super suspicious!
**[03:26] Kasumi**
B-But...
**[03:27] Kasumi**
We can officially be phantom thieves now.
**[03:29] Olivia**
We aren't!
**[03:30] Kasumi**
Boo.
**[03:32] Hanako**
Guys, hear me out.
**[03:34] Olivia**
Hanako.
**[03:35] Olivia**
You're late.
**[03:36] Hanako**
I was getting something ready.
**[03:38] Hanako**
I've been thinking, too,
and I have a good idea.
**[03:43] Olivia**
What's that?
**[03:45] Hanako**
Check it out...
**[03:47] Hanako**
We can get stag beetles to steal it!
**[03:51] Olivia**
Why stag beetles?
**[03:52] Hanako**
Huh?
**[03:53] Hanako**
That's how you steal money
out of offertory boxes.
**[03:57] Olivia**
Please don't say that like that's
some kind of universal common sense!
**[03:59] Olivia**
Besides, there's no way a stag
beetle is going to listen to you.
**[04:03] Kasumi**
A-Also...
**[04:04] Kasumi**
Wouldn't we look stupid,
writing a warning that says
**[04:07] Kasumi**
"We're taking the Banana
Papers... with a stag beetle"?
**[04:10] Olivia**
You were going to spoil our crime
plan in your warning letter?!
**[04:13] Hanako**
Don't worry, man.
**[04:15] Hanako**
Right, Stag-chan?
**[04:16] Hanako**
I mean, Fantômas?
**[04:18] Olivia**
*She already gave it a name!*
**[04:19] Olivia**
* How am I supposed to say "no" when*
* she's already attached to it?!*
**[04:22] Hanako**
It'll work out, I promise.
**[04:23] Hanako**
Believe me.
**[04:25] Olivia**
A-All right.
**[04:26] Olivia**
Screw it, I don't care anymore.
**[04:28] N**
*And so Hanako trained the stag beetle.*
**[04:32] N**
* Day in and day out, the stag beetle*
* underwent unthinkably arduous training.*
**[04:38] N**
*And finally, the day has come.*
**[04:41] Olivia**
That was hard, hiding from the guard, huh?
**[04:44] Hanako**
Yeah...
**[04:44] Hanako**
I was hiding in the locker the whole
time, but the door wouldn't open.
**[04:48] Hanako**
I thought I was dead.
**[04:49] Kasumi**
The student council office
should be here somewhere.
***SIGN*** Student Council Room
**[04:52] Olivia**
All right.
**[04:57] Olivia**
It's locked.
**[04:59] Hanako**
I got this.
**[05:00] Hanako**
Fantômas, please.
**[05:05] Hanako**
Yeah! Good job!
**[05:07] Hanako**
All that training paid off.
**[05:09] Kasumi**
*Th-That's not the stag beetle I know.*
**[05:17] Kasumi**
Wh-Where could it be?
**[05:19] Hanako**
Fantômas.
**[05:26] Hanako**
Is *this* it?
**[05:27] Olivia**
It straight-up says "Banana Papers" on it.
**[05:29] Kasumi**
It's not much of a secret, huh?
**[05:31] Hanako**
Do we just take this with us?
**[05:33] Olivia**
Let's go, hurry.
**[05:34] Kasumi**
Yeah.
**[05:36] Hanako**
Huh?
**[05:37] President**
It's not locked.
**[05:40] Kasumi**
*O-Oh, no!*
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Woman of Terror
**[05:51] President**
* Oh, shoot, I forgot my homework hand-out*
* on the student council room desk.*
**[05:59] President**
*But what about the lock?*
**[06:03] President**
Huh?
**[06:05] President**
It's not locked.
**[06:14] Olivia**
Wh-What now?
**[06:16] Hanako**
What are we supposed to do?
**[06:17] Kasumi**
What shall we do?
**[06:19] President**
Hand-out, hand-out...
**[06:22] President**
There.
**[06:27] Olivia**
*Sh-Shit, she's coming this way.*
**[06:30] Hanako**
*I'm so scared.*
**[06:33] President**
Huh?
**[06:34] President**
The chair we just bought
isn't in the right spot.
**[06:37] President**
Let's put it back.
**[06:42] President**
*Wait, crap, I'm scared.*
**[06:44] President**
*I need to get out of here.*
**[06:55] Olivia**
*P-Please don't let Hanako...*
**[06:59] Olivia**
*fart right now.*
**[07:02] Hanako**
*Sh-Shoot, my butt wants to breathe right now.*
**[07:08] Hanako**
*Breathe, my butt, without making a voice!*
**[07:15] N**
*And then what happened?*
**[07:17] Olivia**
That was a nightmare.
**[07:19] Hanako**
I said, "I'm sorry!"
**[07:21] Hanako**
I didn't think it would smell
bad if it was a silent one.
**[07:23] Kasumi**
Don't they call those "silent but deadly"?
**[07:26] Kasumi**
But at least we managed to escape.
**[07:28] Kasumi**
Not we just need to hand this over
to Aozora-san, who's waiting outside.
**[07:31] Hanako**
Hey, wait.
**[07:34] Hanako**
Don't you want to get a good look
at what's inside the Banana Papers?
**[07:38] Olivia**
I-I guess.
**[07:40] Kasumi**
I guess we could take a peek.
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[07:43] Hanako**
Okay, here we go.
**[07:45] Hanako**
All the myriad school scandals
laid bare in the Banana Papers!
**[07:53] Olivia**
It's the language teacher.
**[07:55] Kasumi**
What does it say?
**[07:56] Hanako**
Um...
**[07:58] Hanako**
"The language teacher was taken to the
hospital after licking potassium cyanide,
**[08:01] Hanako**
pretending to be a detective."
**[08:04] Hanako**
"His bizarre behavior was
because of the Pastimers Club."
**[08:12] Hanako**
O-Oh yeah, he was gone for,
like, two weeks after that.
**[08:16] Kasumi**
I feel like we've learned something
we shouldn't have known.
**[08:19] Olivia**
What else?
***SIGN*** Mortal Enemies Popular Kids
**[08:20] Olivia**
"The Soft Tennis Club lost
in the regional primaries
**[08:22] Olivia**
after every single player lost in the first
round, having not won a single point."
**[08:26] Olivia**
"The reason for such a result...
**[08:29] Olivia**
is because Honda Hanako left
for the Pastimers Club."
**[08:33] Olivia**
"The reason the Shogi Club president ended
up with complex fractures all over was
**[08:37] Olivia**
because of the Pastimers Club."
**[08:39] Olivia**
"Time until she makes a full recovery and
takes revenge on the Pass Club... 105 days."
**[08:47] Olivia**
"The café fire was caused
by the Pastimers Club."
**[08:51] Olivia**
"The pen that Hanako was
spinning has been recovered."
**[08:57] Hanako**
Guess I'll burn it.
**[08:58] Olivia**
Wait, wait!
**[08:59] Hanako**
Let me go! We need to destroy
it and cover up our many crimes!
**[09:04] Kasumi**
*"Our"?*
**[09:05] Kasumi**
* They were mostly Hanako-san's*
* fault, weren't they?*
**[09:07] Kasumi**
W-Wait up!
**[09:09] Kasumi**
Let's read a little more.
**[09:11] Kasumi**
If we read a little more and find
some secrets besides our own...
**[09:15] Kasumi**
We can use those to our advantage
and put ourselves in power.
**[09:21] Hanako**
Yeah, okay.
**[09:23] Olivia**
All right, let's check the other pages.
**[09:25] Hanako**
Right.
**[09:26] Hanako**
"The guidance counselor and...
**[09:31] Hanako**
the Swimming Club president...
**[09:36] Hanako**
are sisters."
**[09:40] Hanako**
*Yeah.*
**[09:41] Olivia**
What else?
**[09:42] Kasumi**
*That's so believable, it's not even useful.*
**[09:46] Hanako**
"Olivia has...
**[09:49] Hanako**
a spicy scent coming from under
her arms and between her boobs."
**[09:54] Olivia**
Who the hell sold me out?!
**[09:56] Hanako**
We didn't!
**[09:57] Olivia**
Lies!
**[09:58] Olivia**
I had that feeling these days,
but I hadn't told anyone about it!
**[10:01] Olivia**
Hanako! It was you, wasn't it?
**[10:03] Hanako**
It wasn't! It wasn't!
**[10:04] Hanako**
Anyone in class would have noticed!
**[10:09] Olivia**
N-No...
**[10:12] Hanako**
Olivia...
**[10:14] Hanako**
It's okay, though.
**[10:16] Hanako**
You fall under the action threshold in the
Ministry of the Environment's odor index.
**[10:25] Hanako**
So you're totally fine.
**[10:31] Olivia**
Hanako...
**[10:32] Kasumi**
Olivia-san...
**[10:34] Kasumi**
I don't think you need to
worry about it, either.
**[10:38] Kasumi**
People abroad say perfumes and stuff
are made to smell good with body odor.
**[10:46] Kasumi**
There are some gentlemen who love that smell.
**[10:51] Kasumi**
And, besides...
**[10:55] Kasumi**
We've gotten used to it.
**[11:02] Olivia**
Guys, I love you.
**[11:07] Hanako**
What should we do next?
**[11:08] Olivia**
I think I want ice cream.
**[11:10] Kasumi**
That sounds good.
**[11:11] Kasumi**
Raskin-Bobbins is open until eleven.
**[11:13] Olivia**
I want chocolate mint.
**[11:14] Hanako**
Chocolate mint? That's toothpaste.
**[11:17] Olivia**
You're missing out if you
don't get that addictiveness.
**[11:20] Hanako**
Sure, sure.
**[11:31] Aozora**
They seriously left this
here and went to grab ice cream?
**[11:34] Aozora**
Girls are seriously stupid.
***SIGN*** Reports regarding Aozora Tsugumi
**[11:52] Aozora**
*What should I do with the rest of this book?*
**[11:55] Aozora**
* I guess I'll photocopy all of*
* it, and when I give it back,*
**[11:59] Aozora**
* I suppose I'll use all the information*
* about the Pastimers Club*
**[12:04] Aozora**
*to negotiate with them again.*
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Weirdo Go
**[12:19] Hanako**
They're still not done with remedial classes.
**[12:34] Hanako**
No one's around, which means
I can make all the faces I want!
**[12:39] Kasumi**
*I got out of remedial classes early.*
**[12:43] Kasumi**
*Crap, I don't feel like going in.*
**[12:46] Kasumi**
* I should wait a little while after*
* Hanako-san's done with her crazy, right?*
**[12:51] Kasumi**
* Things were really bad when*
* we barged in last time, too.*
**[12:54] Kasumi**
*I shouldn't go in suddenly.*
**[12:57] Hanako**
Oh yeah, Kasumi-san's desk...
**[13:01] Hanako**
She leaves her laptop in there.
**[13:06] Kasumi**
*No!*
**[13:07] Kasumi**
*Not that!*
**[13:08] Kasumi**
*My super-epic BL novel is in there!*
**[13:12] Kasumi**
*Please, don't!*
**[13:13] Kasumi**
*Stop!*
**[13:14] Hanako**
Oh man, she's using Windows XP!
**[13:17] Hanako**
Kasumi-san takes really
good care of her stuff.
***SIGN*** Welcome Starting up
**[13:20] Hanako**
It boots up without a password!
**[13:24] Kasumi**
*I have to go.*
**[13:24] Kasumi**
*I still have time!*
**[13:26] Kasumi**
*Okay!*
**[13:27] Hanako**
"Locked Up Love: The Taste of a Boy's Honey."
**[13:32] Hanako**
Let's see...
**[13:34] Hanako**
"The kind senpai from the Ping Pong Club
traps the protagonist in the gym storage."
**[13:39] Hanako**
"'Please, don't!' I screamed
in dread, towards a face
**[13:39] [SONG] Text**
Note: Please enjoy with this imagery extracted
from Hanako's measly imagination.
**[13:44] Hanako**
which I'd thought was so familiar."
**[13:47] Hanako**
"'How could you do this to me?'"
**[13:50] Hanako**
Nice, nice.
**[13:52] Kasumi**
*Stop!*
**[13:53] Kasumi**
*All my secret desires are in there!*
**[13:56] Senpai**
I hate to do this to you, but
you'll have to shut up for a bit.
**[14:01] Protagonist**
Is... Is that...
**[14:05] Protagonist**
Is that the extra-sticky type of duct tape?!
**[14:09] Senpai**
That's right.
**[14:10] Senpai**
This is the extra-sticky type of duct tape.
**[14:16] Hanako**
"The duct tape had stuck to Senpai's
tongue, immobilizing him."
**[14:22] Protagonist**
Now!
**[14:27] Hanako**
*Weird...*
**[14:28] Hanako**
* I feel like I just saw something*
* I wasn't supposed to.*
**[14:32] Hanako**
*Oh, no...*
**[14:34] Hanako**
*I can't wait to erase it from my memory.*
**[14:38] Hanako**
This is going to mess me up.
**[14:41] Hanako**
Let's put it back.
**[14:45] Kasumi**
*I want to know what she thinks.*
**[14:49] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, are you done
with remedial classes?
**[14:51] Kasumi**
Hey...
**[14:53] Kasumi**
Um...
**[14:55] Kasumi**
Did you read it?
**[14:56] Hanako**
Norpe.
**[15:02] Hanako**
* She had to have seen everything*
* I was doing to ask that!*
**[15:08] Hanako**
* I have to change the subject.*
* I have to distract her.*
**[15:11] Hanako**
Hey, you know...
**[15:13] Hanako**
You're pretty...
**[15:15] Hanako**
weird, huh?
**[15:23] Olivia**
I'm finally done with remedial classes.
**[15:25] Olivia**
Huh? What's wrong, you two?
**[15:28] Kasumi**
O-Olivia-san...
**[15:31] Kasumi**
Kill me, please.
**[15:33] Hanako**
Kill me, too!
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Boobie Tragedy
**[15:42] Olivia**
Done.
**[15:43] Olivia**
Look, look.
**[15:45] Hanako**
You're so quick, Olivia.
**[15:47] Olivia**
It's the simplest one.
**[15:48] Olivia**
All I did was make a straight
stitch and run elastic through it.
**[15:50] Kasumi**
We have to take a picture and submit
it along with the clothes, right?
**[15:53] Kasumi**
Here I go.
**[15:54] Hanako**
I can't believe we'd have to submit our
home economics project before summer break.
**[15:59] Kasumi**
I-I'm done, too.
**[16:01] Hanako**
Whoa, Kasumi, you're done your
difficulty level S shirt?
**[16:04] Olivia**
Let's take a picture.
**[16:06] Kasumi**
Hang on, I'll get changed.
**[16:14] Olivia**
Maybe that's the wrong size.
**[16:17] Kasumi**
All my work has gone to waste.
***SIGN*** Does that actually happen?
**[16:21] Hanako**
*Does that actually happen?*
**[16:23] Kasumi**
This is how it always is.
**[16:25] Kasumi**
Nothing good's come of having big breasts.
**[16:29] Kasumi**
Even if I find cute clothes at the shop,
a lot of the time, my breasts don't fit.
**[16:34] Kasumi**
Just the other day, I found a cute shirt
at the shop and tried it on, but...
**[16:40] Kasumi**
The printing on the shirt screamed "no
more" in its death throes as it cracked.
**[16:45] Olivia**
Printings don't talk, do they?
**[16:46] Kasumi**
I swear, I could hear it!
**[16:48] Kasumi**
It spoke directly to my brain!
**[16:50] Kasumi**
By the way, I paid for it!
**[16:52] Hanako**
*I want to hear such death throes, too.*
**[16:55] Kasumi**
What am I supposed to do with this?
**[16:59] Olivia**
I have a good idea.
**[17:01] Kasumi**
A-A good idea?
**[17:02] Olivia**
Yeah.
**[17:03] Olivia**
I saw this fancy way of wearing
it on a fashion magazine.
**[17:06] Olivia**
If you can't wear that shirt on top...
**[17:09] Olivia**
You can wear it as a bottom. Right?
**[17:11] Kasumi**
Why would you lie that you have a good idea?
**[17:13] Olivia**
It's not a lie!
**[17:15] Olivia**
A model said it's in style right now!
***SIGN*** Like this
**[17:19] Kasumi**
Do you know about this, Hanako-san?
**[17:20] Hanako**
Huh? Yeah, totally!
**[17:22] Hanako**
*Crap, I never knew about this.*
**[17:23] Olivia**
Let's try it on as a skirt, then.
**[17:26] Hanako**
I mean, it's worth a try, right?
**[17:28] Kasumi**
I-Is this right?
**[17:31] Olivia**
That's it.
**[17:32] Olivia**
Yup, yup.
**[17:32] Hanako**
Okay, Kasumi-san, look this way.
**[17:35] Hanako**
Say "cheese."
**[17:39] Hanako**
There.
**[17:39] Hanako**
And sent.
**[17:40] Kasumi**
Wait, wait, stop!
**[17:42] Kasumi**
I don't want the teacher to
think I'm a weird student.
**[17:47] Hanako**
Kasumi-san...
**[17:49] Hanako**
People are all weird in one way or another.
**[17:53] Kasumi**
N-No, I don't mean like that.
**[17:56] Olivia**
What to do, then?
**[17:59] Hanako**
We can't submit a photo with
a full view of her cleavage.
**[18:03] Hanako**
Okay, let's do some emergency repairs.
**[18:05] Kasumi**
H-H-H-H-H-How?
**[18:08] Hanako**
There isn't enough around your breasts,
so we just need to add more fabric there.
**[18:12] Kasumi**
I-I see.
**[18:14] Kasumi**
Um...
**[18:14] Kasumi**
I might mess up again if I do it.
**[18:17] Kasumi**
Could you do it for me?
**[18:18] Hanako**
Sure.
**[18:19] Hanako**
First, we cut in a circle in the breast area.
**[18:22] Hanako**
And then we add some more
with a bigger sheet, and...
**[18:26] Hanako**
There, done..
**[18:27] Hanako**
Try it on, Kasumi-san.
**[18:29] Kasumi**
Okay.
**[18:34] Hanako**
*Oh nuts, that's not what I had in mind.*
**[18:38] Kasumi**
It still feels tight around my breasts.
**[18:41] Kasumi**
I'll take a look in the mirror.
**[18:43] Hanako**
Wait up!
**[18:45] Hanako**
I'll fix it one more time.
**[18:46] Hanako**
Please don't look in a mirror,
even if your life depends on it.
**[18:49] Olivia**
Uh, Hanako...
**[18:50] Olivia**
Those are definitely nip—
**[18:52] Hanako**
Olivia-chan!
**[18:54] Hanako**
Shut up!
**[18:55] Hanako**
It's because I cut too small around it.
**[18:58] Hanako**
I'll try again with a bigger piece.
**[19:01] Hanako**
*Uh... Where's the left over cloth?*
**[19:05] Hanako**
*I don't have enough.*
**[19:06] Hanako**
* O-Okay, let's combine it with the other*
* one to at least hide her cleavage.*
**[19:12] Hanako**
K-Kasumi, could you try it on again?
**[19:16] Kasumi**
Okay.
**[19:21] Hanako**
At least her cleavage is covered now.
**[19:24] Olivia**
Hanako! Get a grip on reality!
**[19:26] Olivia**
You should wear it as a skirt.
**[19:28] Kasumi**
B-But...
**[19:29] Kasumi**
You look like this right now.
**[19:33] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, I'm sorry!
**[19:34] Hanako**
I'm so sorry!
**[19:36] Olivia**
Is there another way to wear
it, other than as a skirt?
**[19:39] Hanako**
This is the last resort.
**[19:45] Kasumi**
Kasumi-san!
**[19:46] Kasumi**
What can I do to make it up to you?
**[19:49] Kasumi**
Come with me to explain to
the teacher what happened.
**[19:53] Hanako**
O-Okay.
**[19:55] Olivia**
It's just yours that's left, Hanako.
**[19:56] Olivia**
What did you make?
**[19:59] Hanako**
* I feel really bad after what*
* I just did to Kasumi-san's, but...*
**[20:04] Hanako**
Ta-da, I made a yukata!
**[20:07] Olivia**
That's amazing!
**[20:08] Kasumi**
Hanako-san's deliberately playing it cool.
**[20:11] Kasumi**
I'm used to making yukatas.
**[20:14] Kasumi**
I should have done that instead.
**[20:16] Olivia**
Oh, really?
**[20:17] Olivia**
Why did you make a shirt, then?
**[20:19] Kasumi**
No one went for it, so I got too adventurous.
**[20:21] Olivia**
Okay, let's take a picture now, then.
**[20:23] Hanako**
Hang on, I'll go get changed.
**[20:25] Hanako**
Huh?
**[20:29] Hanako**
W-Well?
**[20:31] Olivia**
Nice!
**[20:33] Olivia**
Go stand over there.
**[20:34] Hanako**
Okay.
**[20:36] Hanako**
How does it look?
**[20:37] Olivia**
Huh?
**[20:39] Olivia**
I see your elbow jutting out weirdly.
**[20:42] Hanako**
What am I supposed to do?!
**[20:44] Kasumi**
I think it's because you don't
have enough sleeve width.
**[20:48] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, do you know how to fix it?
**[20:50] Kasumi**
Yes.
**[20:53] Hanako**
Never mind.
**[20:54] Hanako**
You're totally scheming something!
**[20:56] Kasumi**
Come on, now, leave it to me.
**[20:59] Hanako**
No!
**[21:00] Hanako**
Kasumi-san! Put down the scissors!
***SIGN*** Japanese Pastimes, Please
**[22:34] N**
*Red Light, Green Light.*
***SIGN*** Red Light, Green Light
***SIGN*** Captive
**[22:37] N**
* An infiltration technique for dispatching*
* a target silently from behind,*
***SIGN*** Landmines
***SIGN*** Captive
**[22:44] N**
*without being noticed by the target.*
**[22:47] N**
* It is said to have begun in 1845, when*
* Lieutenant Commander Richard Rodriguez*
**[22:51] N**
* made use of it to improve the*
* success rate of his missions.*
**[22:57] ---**
The hell?
**[22:58] N**
* It was common at the time to hide*
* inside boxes or in the shadows,*
**[23:02] N**
* and skill was required*
* of those carrying it out.*
**[23:12] Kasumi**
Snake!
**[23:13] Hanako**
I'm not Snake.
**[23:16] N**
* Nowadays, anyone can engage*
* in an infiltration,*
***SIGN*** Landmines
***SIGN*** Captive
**[23:20] N**
* thanks to the introduction of*
* optical cloaking technology.*
**[23:31] ---**
You guys again?!
**[23:35] Kasumi**
Snape!
**[23:37] Hanako**
Uh, I'm not Snape.
# 8 - Gotta "Catch" 'em All! | Divine Revelation | The Evil Sugoroku
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/G6MEG24VR/asobi-asobase---workshop-of-fun--)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Gotta "Catch" 'em All!
**[01:38] Hanako**
*Olivia's playing that game.*
**[01:40] Hanako**
* Are there any monsters in*
* this classroom, though?*
**[01:42] Hanako**
Olivia, is that any fun?
**[01:44] Olivia**
Yeah.
**[01:45] Hanako**
I haven't installed it yet.
**[01:47] Olivia**
This game's popular in my country right now.
**[01:50] Hanako**
In your country, too, huh?
**[01:52] Hanako**
That's amazing.
**[01:53] Hanako**
It really is popular worldwide.
**[01:55] Olivia**
It is.
**[01:56] Olivia**
*Bactéri Go* is so fun.
**[02:00] Hanako**
*What game is Olivia playing, exactly?*
**[02:03] Hanako**
That's not the one where you
collect monsters and stuff, is it?
**[02:07] Olivia**
Huh? Monsters?
**[02:08] Olivia**
Nah, it's a game where you collect the
bacteria that's crawling all around you.
**[02:16] Olivia**
Oh yeah?
**[02:17] Olivia**
It's popular worldwide? I never knew.
**[02:19] Olivia**
That's kind of cool, since
it was made in my country.
**[02:22] Hanako**
I don't think it's popular anywhere else.
**[02:27] Olivia**
But the bacteria drawings are so cute.
**[02:30] Hanako**
So how does the game work?
**[02:32] Olivia**
Um...
**[02:33] Olivia**
You put your phone up like this.
**[02:37] Olivia**
I found some around your desk, Hanako.
**[02:41] Olivia**
I got a cute one!
**[02:44] Olivia**
Really? What did you get?
**[02:45] Olivia**
Black mold from around the
lip of your water bottle.
**[02:49] Hanako**
That's not real, is it?
**[02:50] Hanako**
That's a virtual thing to
make the game fun, right?
**[02:54] Olivia**
This is a cutting edge
smartphone from my country.
**[02:56] Olivia**
It has a bacteria detection feature.
**[02:59] Hanako**
Say what?
**[02:59] Hanako**
Why do they have such an excessively
useless high-tech feature on it?
**[03:02] Olivia**
Don't worry, though.
**[03:05] Olivia**
I caught it in my phone.
**[03:07] Olivia**
Got it!
**[03:10] Hanako**
Hey, does it have a sanitizing feature?
**[03:16] Olivia**
Got placebo effect?
**[03:18] Hanako**
That doesn't work!
**[03:19] Hanako**
Seriously, all it did was let me
know there's bacteria everywhere!
**[03:23] Hanako**
I just feel even worse!
**[03:25] Olivia**
What? Just wash it.
**[03:27] Kasumi**
Hey, sorry I'm late.
**[03:29] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, hear me out!
**[03:30] Hanako**
Olivia's collecting bacteria
from all over the classroom!
**[03:35] Hanako**
Wait, Kasumi-san, don't go!
**[03:37] Hanako**
Don't leave me!
**[03:38] Hanako**
So yeah, that's what happened.
**[03:40] Kasumi**
Oh, I see, it's a game.
**[03:44] Olivia**
I wonder what kind of bacteria
are on *your* desk, Kasumi.
**[03:53] Hanako**
Wait, Olivia, what the hell are you doing?!
**[03:55] Olivia**
I couldn't find a single bacterium,
**[03:57] Olivia**
so I thought they might show
up if I drooled or something.
**[03:59] Hanako**
No, no!
**[04:00] Hanako**
You can't give up on your
humanity just for a game!
**[04:02] Olivia**
I bet you'd all do the same thing.
**[04:04] Kasumi**
I sterilize my desk with alcohol.
**[04:07] Hanako**
You sterilize your desk?!
**[04:09] Hanako**
Are you a germophobe?
**[04:10] Olivia**
Whose side are you on, Hanako?
**[04:12] Olivia**
I guess I'll just give Hanako's
black mold a name for now.
**[04:16] Hanako**
Call it Maeda.
**[04:17] Olivia**
Sure.
**[04:18] Kasumi**
*What exactly is Maeda-san to Hanako-san?*
**[04:20] Olivia**
I bet there's a lot around you, Hanako.
**[04:23] Olivia**
And not just on your water bottle.
**[04:24] Hanako**
My desk's decently clean, too!
**[04:26] Olivia**
That notebook and writing mat
look pretty suspicious, though.
**[04:32] Hanako**
Why would this be dirty?
**[04:34] Hanako**
It's my favorite *Boys School Wars* mat!
**[04:37] Olivia**
Okay.
**[04:39] Kasumi**
Let's see.
**[04:44] Kasumi**
Hanako-san...
**[04:45] Kasumi**
Did you take a dump on your writing mat?
**[04:47] Hanako**
What the hell kind of question is that?!
**[04:50] Hanako**
What do I need to have done to my head
to want to squat over my writing mat?
**[04:53] Kasumi**
But, like...
**[04:54] Olivia**
I got fecal bacteria from your writing mat.
**[05:00] Hanako**
* My cat was making weird*
* motions on my mat a lot.*
**[05:04] (Flashback) Hanako**
So cute!
**[05:07] (Flashback) Hanako**
Maeda, Ken-chan, look!
**[05:08] (Flashback) Hanako**
It's so cute!
**[05:10] Hanako**
*I probably should have been stopping it!*
**[05:13] Hanako**
Uh, it wasn't me, but it
might have been wiped.
**[05:16] Kasumi**
By whom?!
**[05:17] Hanako**
My cat.
**[05:18] Olivia**
Can I check all your stuff, then, Hanako?
**[05:21] Hanako**
Go ahead.
**[05:22] Hanako**
Check everything, please.
**[05:24] Olivia**
Found some.
**[05:25] Olivia**
Here, too.
**[05:26] Olivia**
It's a new species!
**[05:29] Olivia**
Thank you, Hanako!
**[05:33] Hanako**
I'm glad you're happy, Olivia.
**[05:37] Kasumi**
Um, Hanako-san, can I sterilize
everything you own later?
**[05:41] Kasumi**
And Olivia-san, please wash your
hands when you're done playing.
**[05:47] Kasumi**
I guess we should head home.
**[05:48] Hanako**
Yeah.
**[05:50] Hanako**
Olivia, you forgot your phone.
**[05:53] Hanako**
You left the game open, too.
**[05:55] Olivia**
Oh, right.
**[05:58] Olivia**
Sorry, I blanked out.
**[05:59] Olivia**
Thanks.
**[06:02] Hanako**
Hey, what's the exclamation mark things?
**[06:05] Olivia**
That's when there's a lot of bacteria!
**[06:07] Olivia**
Where? Where?
**[06:11] Hanako**
Over there.
**[06:12] Kasumi**
*Couldn't you lie a little better?!*
**[06:13] Olivia**
Really?
**[06:15] Olivia**
Oh, you're right.
**[06:17] Olivia**
On your cheek.
**[06:19] Kasumi**
* It's from when she was rubbing*
* the mat against her face.*
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Divine Revelation
**[06:29] Hanako**
* I went clothes shopping with*
* Olivia and Kasumi-san...*
**[06:34] Hanako**
*But why did I buy this?*
**[06:39] Hanako**
* Why does it look so pretty when it's at*
* the store, but so disappointing at home?*
**[06:45] Hanako**
* Why does the shop staff's magic*
* words of "It looks so good on you"*
**[06:49] Hanako**
*wear off when you get home?*
**[06:52] Hanako**
*Someone intelligent, please tell me.*
**[06:57] Hanako**
*I know, Kasumi-san!*
**[06:59] Hanako**
*She encouraged me!*
**[07:01] Hanako**
*I have to call Kasumi-san!*
**[07:04] Kasumi**
Hello? Hanako-san?
**[07:07] Hanako**
Hey, Kasumi-san...
**[07:09] Hanako**
The shopping trip today...
**[07:12] Kasumi**
That was fun.
**[07:13] Kasumi**
Let's go again.
**[07:14] Kasumi**
I've never gone clothes shopping
with my friends before.
**[07:17] Hanako**
Hey...
**[07:19] Hanako**
The clothes I bought...
**[07:21] Hanako**
They weren't weird, were they?
**[07:25] Hanako**
Hey, why did you say "it's nice"?
**[07:34] Kasumi**
*What's happening right now?*
**[07:37] Kasumi**
B-Back at the shop?
**[07:40] Hanako**
Yeah.
**[07:41] Hanako**
Back at the shop.
**[07:43] Hanako**
I asked, "What do you think?" remember?
**[07:47] Kasumi**
*Oh yeah...*
**[07:49] (Flashback) Hanako**
Hey, Kasumi-san, what do you think of this?
**[07:51] Kasumi**
*Crazy.*
**[07:53] (Flashback) Hanako**
What do you think?
**[07:54] (Flashback) Kasumi**
W-Well...
**[07:57] Kasumi**
*Hanako-san seems to like it*
**[08:00] (Flashback) Kasumi**
I-I think it's nice.
**[08:02] Kasumi**
*Or so I said, but...*
**[08:04] Hanako**
You were like...
**[08:07] Hanako**
"You look so good. I think you could
get any guy in the world wearing that.
**[08:11] Hanako**
You'll be balling. Buy it, dude."
**[08:14] Hanako**
Remember?
**[08:16] Kasumi**
*How is her memory so distorted?!*
**[08:18] Kasumi**
*She got everything wrong except "I think."*
**[08:20] Kasumi**
*Hang on.*
**[08:21] Kasumi**
*Her memory's really distorted, which means...*
**[08:24] Kasumi**
U-Uh...
**[08:27] Kasumi**
I don't think I was the one who said that.
**[08:30] Kasumi**
I was in the washroom at the time.
**[08:34] Kasumi**
* It was actually Olivia-san*
* that was in the washroom.*
**[08:39] Hanako**
Then who said that?
**[08:43] Hanako**
Olivia?
**[08:47] Kasumi**
Yes.
**[08:54] Hanako**
Sorry, I made a mistake.
**[08:56] Hanako**
I'll ask Olivia.
**[09:02] Kasumi**
Forgive me!
**[09:06] Olivia**
Hey, Hanako, what's up?
**[09:08] Hanako**
Hey, about the clothes I bought today...
**[09:12] Olivia**
What did you end up buying?
**[09:13] Olivia**
I want to see.
**[09:14] Olivia**
Send me pictures.
**[09:15] Hanako**
*Huh?*
**[09:16] Hanako**
O-Okay.
**[09:19] Olivia**
Here we go.
**[09:22] Olivia**
It's so cute!
**[09:23] Olivia**
Onii-chan, look!
**[09:25] Hanako**
Olivia, stop!
**[09:28] Hanako**
What are they talking about?
**[09:30] Olivia**
My brother says that the silhouette makes you
**[09:34] Olivia**
look like you're wearing
virgin killer clothes!
**[09:38] Hanako**
*I kill them wearing these clothes?*
**[09:40] Hanako**
*Virgins?*
**[09:41] Hanako**
*Virgins specifically?*
**[09:43] Hanako**
*Virgins?*
**[09:45] Hanako**
*Did they do something wrong?*
**[09:48] Hanako**
* They've angered God because they aren't*
* trying to propagate the species?*
**[09:53] Hanako**
Wait, I'm going to look it up.
**[09:54] Olivia**
Look what up?
**[09:55] Hanako**
*Wait, hold on.*
**[09:57] Hanako**
*Every living thing is born a virgin.*
**[10:00] Hanako**
* Then do you anger God when you're*
* a virgin over a certain age?*
**[10:05] Hanako**
*The oldest new father in the world...*
**[10:07] Hanako**
*Ninety-six years old, in India.*
**[10:10] Hanako**
*Amazing.*
**[10:11] Hanako**
* Which means, even if you lost your virginity*
* at 96, you can preserve your species.*
**[10:18] Hanako**
* So is it God's wish that*
* I kill all virgins 97 or older?*
**[10:26] Hanako**
*Could I even tell who they are?*
**[10:29] Hanako**
*No, I don't think I could.*
**[10:32] Hanako**
* Since I'm looking it up right now,*
* I should look up "virgin killer clothes."*
**[10:36] Hanako**
*I don't want to see gory pictures, though.*
**[10:39] Olivia**
Wait, Hanako, do you know what
"virgin killer clothes" are?
**[10:43] Olivia**
You should look it up.
**[10:44] Hanako**
I-Is it safe?
**[10:46] Olivia**
Huh? Yeah.
***SIGN*** The newest in virgin killer clothes Virgin killer clothes... "Virgin killer clothes" viral on social media Everyday fashion...
**[10:48] Hanako**
*Huh? It's all cute pictures.*
***SIGN*** Tried wearing "virgin killer clothes" for a week Virgin killer clothes... All the buzz about virgin killer clothes Virgin killer clothes with the newest accessories
**[10:53] Hanako**
*It's the Specially Designated Secrets Act!*
**[10:55] Hanako**
*Or a Freemason conspiracy!*
**[10:58] Olivia**
Hey, let's hit up Harajuku wearing that.
**[11:01] Olivia**
My brother says you can hunt some virgins.
**[11:03] Hanako**
*Harajuku's in a Mad Max situation already?!*
**[11:08] Hanako**
* I haven't seen any news about virgins*
* being killed in Harajuku, though.*
**[11:14] Hanako**
*The government is meddling with the media!*
**[11:17] Hanako**
* Is this what they call "state*
* control of information"?*
**[11:21] Hanako**
Is it safe for civilians to go?
**[11:24] Olivia**
Sure it is.
**[11:25] Olivia**
Let's go, let's go.
**[11:26] Olivia**
I'll wear something cute, too.
**[11:29] Olivia**
Kasumi could probably kill them
instantly, wearing something like this.
**[11:31] Olivia**
I bet she could really show off her boobs.
**[11:34] Hanako**
I have a feeling Kasumi-san
knows a lot about survival.
**[11:38] Hanako**
Like, long-range sniping.
**[11:40] Olivia**
Like a cupid, you mean?
**[11:41] Hanako**
Huh? Yeah.
**[11:43] Hanako**
We won't get convicted for killing virgins?
**[11:46] Olivia**
"They stole your heart."
**[11:49] Olivia**
Or something like that. We're heart thieves.
**[11:51] Hanako**
We're stealing their hearts?
**[11:53] Hanako**
What violent girlfriends!
**[11:55] Hanako**
I never knew...
**[11:57] Hanako**
I thought we lived in a peaceful world.
**[12:00] Olivia**
Hanako?
**[12:02] Hanako**
I'll do it.
**[12:04] Hanako**
If God wills it,
**[12:07] Hanako**
I'll kill virgins.
**[12:10] Hanako**
So should I use a knife?
**[12:15] Olivia**
What's she talking about?
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** The Evil Sugoroku
**[12:25] Hanako**
What are you up to, Olivia?
**[12:28] Olivia**
I'm actually*really* good at Memory.
**[12:34] Hanako**
You're so stupid.
**[12:36] Hanako**
You need to have good memory to play Memory.
**[12:40] Hanako**
Why would you be good at it when
you can't even study at all?
**[12:43] Olivia**
Just watch!
**[12:45] Olivia**
Here I go.
**[12:46] Olivia**
This one and this one.
**[12:48] Olivia**
This and this.
**[12:50] Olivia**
This and this.
**[12:52] Olivia**
This and this.
**[12:53] Olivia**
This and this.
**[12:54] Olivia**
This and this.
**[12:55] Olivia**
This and this.
**[12:56] Olivia**
This and this.
**[12:57] Olivia**
This and... this.
**[13:05] Olivia**
Yay, I got them all on my first try!
**[13:07] Olivia**
I'm awesome, right?
**[13:08] Olivia**
I have pretty good memory, don't you think?
**[13:12] Hanako**
* Did that even have anything*
* to do with memory?*
**[13:16] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, want to go pee together?
**[13:20] Kasumi**
O-Okay.
**[13:22] Hanako**
You saw that, right?
**[13:24] Kasumi**
Yes, it was amazing.
**[13:26] Hanako**
What do you think?
**[13:28] Kasumi**
She was lucky, or something?
**[13:31] Hanako**
Do you really think that's all?
**[13:32] Kasumi**
But there's no other explanation.
**[13:35] Hanako**
Y-You're right.
**[13:37] Hanako**
Let's test to see if
she's really lucky, then.
**[13:40] Kasumi**
How?
**[13:41] Hanako**
With the ultimate game of chance...
**[13:45] Hanako**
The sugoroku!
**[13:48] Olivia**
We're going to play sugoroku now?
**[13:50] Olivia**
It's going to take a while, isn't it?
**[13:51] Hanako**
Is it?
**[13:52] Kasumi**
I-It's Hanako-san's hand-made sugoroku.
**[13:54] Kasumi**
It could be fun.
**[13:56] Hanako**
It is.
**[13:57] Hanako**
My hand-made games are a little different.
**[13:59] Hanako**
Every cell has a penalty!
***SIGN*** Wrap a necktie around your head Finish ice cream in a single bite Read Kasumi-san's novel out loud Drink a pack of extra spicy curry Imitate a body builder
**[14:03] Olivia**
*So dirty!*
**[14:05] Kasumi**
* Is Hanako-san even thinking about*
* the fact that she's playing, too?*
**[14:08] Hanako**
Okay, let's decide who goes first
by playing rock-paper-scissors.
**[14:10] Hanako**
Rock, paper, scissors!
**[14:11] Olivia**
Yay, I'm first!
**[14:13] Hanako**
She's lucky.
**[14:14] Kasumi**
I know, right?
**[14:15] Olivia**
Here I go.
**[14:19] Olivia**
I only get one?
**[14:21] Hanako**
Huh?
**[14:21] Kasumi**
Huh?
**[14:22] Olivia**
One is...
***SIGN*** Chug a fizzy drink Make pig noises
***SIGN*** Start
**[14:26] Olivia**
P-Pig?
**[14:30] Olivia**
Oink...
**[14:33] Hanako**
*Shit, that's cute.*
**[14:35] Hanako**
You're clear.
**[14:36] Kasumi**
*Hanako-san just clicked her tongue.*
**[14:38] Olivia**
This is way too hard right off the bat!
**[14:40] Kasumi**
Okay, next...
**[14:42] Kasumi**
Four...
**[14:44] Hanako**
Let's see...
**[14:45] Hanako**
Pretend to be a dog peeing on a power pole.
**[14:49] Kasumi**
I-I can be a female, right?
**[14:51] Hanako**
No, it's the males that pee on power
poles with one leg up, remember?
**[15:00] Olivia**
Um, Kasumi, you can do something
else instead, you know...
**[15:05] Hanako**
Let's do her the kindness of watching
her spirited peeing performance.
**[15:13] Kasumi**
Tinkle, tinkle...
**[15:15] Hanako**
Well done, Kasumi-san, good job.
**[15:19] Hanako**
You're clear.
**[15:21] Kasumi**
H-Hanako-san...
**[15:24] Kasumi**
I don't want to play this sugoroku anymore!
**[15:27] Hanako**
Oh, my.
**[15:28] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, we're still on our first turn.
**[15:31] Hanako**
We're just getting started.
**[15:34] Kasumi**
* Th-This is an evil sugoroku that*
* turns people into monsters!*
**[15:37] Hanako**
Okay, I'm up next.
**[15:41] Hanako**
Six!
**[15:42] Olivia**
Six!
**[15:43] Hanako**
Six is...
***SIGN*** Have your butt slapped by the other two
**[15:48] Olivia**
Uh, Hanako, that's...
**[15:51] Kasumi**
That's got to be the worst one!
**[15:55] Hanako**
Hurry up and do it.
**[15:57] Kasumi**
I don't want to be the one to do it, either!
**[15:59] Olivia**
A-Are you sure?
**[16:02] Hanako**
Yeah.
**[16:06] Olivia**
Please don't make weird noises.
**[16:09] Hanako**
But...
**[16:10] Hanako**
Not even my dad has slapped me before.
**[16:13] Olivia**
I-I believe you.
**[16:14] Olivia**
Go ahead.
**[16:20] Hanako**
Kasumi-san...
**[16:22] Hanako**
You went easy on me, didn't you?
**[16:24] Kasumi**
But...
**[16:25] Hanako**
Don't!
**[16:26] Hanako**
Hit me properly!
**[16:28] Kasumi**
But...
**[16:28] Hanako**
Do it!
**[16:30] Hanako**
I'm already prepared!
**[16:33] Hanako**
Make it sound really good!
**[16:36] Kasumi**
Hanako-san...
**[16:38] Hanako**
I'm kidding.
**[16:40] Hanako**
I tried acting tough.
**[16:42] Hanako**
I'm kidding.
**[16:43] Kasumi**
I feel your resolve.
**[16:50] Hanako**
My ass is destroyed!
**[16:53] Kasumi**
And that's what you wanted, was it not?
**[16:56] Hanako**
Okay, next, go ahead.
***SIGN*** Crawl one lap around the hallway like a baby
**[17:08] Olivia**
*Please don't run into anyone...*
**[17:09] Olivia**
*Please don't run into anyone...*
**[17:11] Hanako**
* Olivia's crawling isn't*
* so much like a baby...*
**[17:13] Hanako**
*...as a cockroach.*
**[17:16] Olivia**
*Crap, the student council president!*
**[17:18] President**
Olivia-san.
**[17:19] President**
Perfect.
**[17:20] President**
There was something I wanted to
ask you about the Pastimers Club.
**[17:23] President**
You haven't submitted a proposal for your
cultural festival display, have you?
**[17:27] Olivia**
*Shoot, I don't know why I ran away.*
**[17:29] President**
Hold it.
**[17:31] President**
Humans can travel faster on two
legs than on four, Olivia-san.
**[17:39] President**
Give it up.
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[17:43] Kasumi**
Over here.
**[17:51] Olivia**
I was so scared, I could die.
**[17:54] Hanako**
I bet.
**[17:55] Kasumi**
Okay, next.
***SIGN*** The next person
sits up like a dog
--Maeda
**[17:57] Kasumi**
You're the next person, right, Hanako-san?
**[18:00] Kasumi**
Apparently you're supposed to "chin chin."
**[18:02] Hanako**
Did I ever write that?!
**[18:03] Hanako**
No way, I don't remember writing that!
**[18:05] Kasumi**
It's signed by Maeda-san.
**[18:07] Hanako**
Damn it, Maeda!
**[18:09] Hanako**
I asked him for help on one spot,
**[18:11] Hanako**
but that's one of those things
that would get censored!
**[18:13] Hanako**
Is "chin chin" the balls and the stick?
**[18:17] Hanako**
Or is it just the stick?
**[18:18] Hanako**
No way, that's way too dirty!
**[18:22] Hanako**
I don't want to lose my purity yet!
**[18:24] Hanako**
No, spare me!
**[18:30] Olivia**
Isn't it "chin chin" as in,
"sit up and beg like a dog"?
**[18:32] Kasumi**
Hey, just wondering...
**[18:34] Kasumi**
Did you do some studying after that day?
**[18:36] Hanako**
The Internet's just too useful.
**[18:40] Kasumi**
Yeah.
**[18:41] Kasumi**
It is, isn't it?
**[18:43] Olivia**
Okay, do the chin chin.
**[18:45] Olivia**
Okay, you're good.
**[18:46] Olivia**
All right, next.
**[18:48] Kasumi**
O-Okay.
**[18:49] Hanako**
I'm going to make you both
suffer the same humiliation!
**[18:56] Olivia**
No, you totally just screwed
yourself over there, Hanako!
**[19:00] N**
* And so the sugoroku game continued,*
* under Hanako's afflicting gaze.*
***SIGN*** Cry like a phoenix Make koala sounds Wrap a necktie around your head
**[19:07] Hanako**
That's not good enough!
**[19:08] Kasumi**
Wh-What do koalas sound like, again?
**[19:11] Olivia**
Hang on, I'll find a video.
**[19:16] Olivia**
*She looks kind of happy!*
**[19:24] Olivia**
* She looks like it didn't amuse her*
* as much as she thought it would!*
**[19:27] N**
*A few turns later...*
**[19:31] Olivia**
Um, Sensei...
**[19:33] ---**
Eh, what is it?
***SIGN*** "Do English tongue twisters in front of a teacher"
**[19:35] Olivia**
Peter popsicle, piccolo peephole,
whoa, bazinga, boobies!
**[19:40] Hanako**
You're next, Kasumi-san.
**[19:41] Kasumi**
No way!
**[19:42] Kasumi**
You go first, please, Hanako-san.
**[19:44] Hanako**
Sensei, look!
**[19:47] Hanako**
Pretty Soldier Honda Hanako!
***SIGN*** Do a Sailor Mo*n impression in front of a teacher
**[19:52] Hanako**
In the name of justice...
**[19:55] Kasumi**
Don't, you're going to get put in
jail for saying stuff like that!
**[19:58] Hanako**
I punish...
**[20:05] Hanako**
Sensei, don't look at me like that!
**[20:07] Hanako**
It's way too awkward!
**[20:11] Sensei**
* Shoot, I froze up because she suddenly*
* started calling herself a bishoujo.*
**[20:16] Sensei**
*I see.*
**[20:18] Sensei**
*They want me to play with them.*
**[20:20] Sensei**
*All right.*
**[20:21] Sensei**
*I'll make a proper reaction next time.*
**[20:23] Kasumi**
S-Sensei...
***SIGN*** Fire a Kamehameha in front of a teacher
**[20:27] Kasumi**
Ka... me... ha... me...
**[20:34] Kasumi**
Ha!
**[20:35] Sensei**
*Here we go!*
**[20:36] Sensei**
*I'll do it!*
**[20:37] Sensei**
*I'll pretend I got hit!*
**[20:38] Sensei**
Hidebu!
**[20:42] Hanako**
*That sounded really bad.*
**[20:46] Hanako**
S-Sensei, are you okay?!
**[20:49] Kasumi**
* That definitely wasn't the right posture*
* for when you take a Kamehameha.*
**[20:52] Kasumi**
Th-Thank you, Sensei.
**[20:55] Hanako**
You're so kind, Sensei.
**[20:57] Kasumi**
Yes.
**[20:59] Sensei**
*I should go to the nurse's office.*
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[21:04] Kasumi**
I don't want to play this sugoroku anymore!
**[21:06] Hanako**
Kasumi-san...
**[21:08] Hanako**
I don't want to play anymore, either.
**[21:11] Hanako**
How did this happen?
**[21:14] Kasumi**
Well, you made it, Hanako.
**[21:16] N**
* And so they mustered what was*
* left of their strength...*
***SIGN*** Goal!
***SIGN*** Goal!
**[21:21] Kasumi**
Congrats on finishing first, Kasumi-san!
**[21:23] Kasumi**
Thank you.
**[21:26] Hanako**
Oh, Kasumi-san, let's go pee together.
**[21:31] Hanako**
So hey, was Olivia lucky?
**[21:34] Kasumi**
I don't know.
**[21:35] Kasumi**
I don't think she had it any
less terrible than we did.
**[21:39] Hanako**
Then the only other way she could
have won that memory game...
**[21:44] Kasumi**
She has psychic powers?
**[21:47] Olivia**
* Oh yeah, I used magic trick*
* cards for that memory game.*
**[21:53] Olivia**
* I thought I'd surprise those two, but they were*
* more surprised than I thought they'd be.*
**[21:58] Olivia**
*Especially Hanako's face...*
**[22:01] Olivia**
* Shoot, it makes me laugh*
* just thinking about it.*
**[22:07] Hanako**
She's doing a creepy laugh!
# 9 - Troubles of a Fake Foreigner | A Dutchey Wife | Genetic Engineering
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/G6MEG24VR/asobi-asobase---workshop-of-fun--)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Troubles of a Fake Foreigner
**[01:33] Sensei**
Okay, let's call it a day.
**[01:35] Sensei**
We're going to have a quiz next class.
**[01:37] Sensei**
Be sure to memorize the
words we worked on today.
**[01:49] Olivia**
* Seriously, those two never say*
* a word when we're in class.*
**[01:55] Olivia**
*And thanks to that...*
**[01:56] Girl A**
Olivia-san.
**[01:58] Girl A**
Hey, have you gotten used to Japanese yet?
**[02:00] Olivia**
S-Slowly.
**[02:03] Olivia**
* People still think I don't*
* speak Japanese fluently.*
**[02:06] Girl B**
She's gotten a bit better
than in the beginning, right?
**[02:09] Girl A**
Yeah, yeah.
**[02:09] Girl A**
Oh, and there's something I wanted you
to help us with from class today...
**[02:13] Olivia**
*Again!*
**[02:15] Olivia**
N-Native English and exam English
might be a bit different.
**[02:20] Girl B**
Really?
**[02:21] Olivia**
So you're better off asking the teacher.
**[02:24] Girl A**
Okay, we'll do that.
**[02:26] Girl B**
Thanks.
**[02:29] Olivia**
Hanako! Hanako! Hanako!
**[02:32] Hanako**
Olivia...
**[02:33] Hanako**
It's break time. Let me sleep.
**[02:34] Olivia**
Wait, wait!
**[02:36] Olivia**
Talk to me more!
**[02:38] Olivia**
People have gotten used to the
idea that I'm not fluent in
**[02:40] Olivia**
Japanese because you're always sleeping!
**[02:41] Hanako**
Who cares?
**[02:42] Hanako**
Is there something wrong with that?
**[02:43] Olivia**
There is!
**[02:44] Olivia**
This whole thing about me
being deficient in Japanese
**[02:46] Olivia**
has made my entire school life a total pain!
**[02:48] Olivia**
Could you please tell
everyone the truth, Hanako?
**[02:51] Hanako**
How?
**[02:53] Olivia**
How?
**[02:54] Olivia**
Like, go into that group of
popular girls and be, like,
**[02:57] Olivia**
"Hey, did you know? Olivia-chan's
apparently totally fluent in Japanese."
**[03:01] Olivia**
Casually start spreading rumors.
**[03:02] Olivia**
They'd probably make it spread really fast.
**[03:05] Hanako**
Asking me to do that is like asking me
to jump from this second-floor window
**[03:10] Hanako**
and land cleanly on my butt.
**[03:13] Olivia**
What does that even mean?
**[03:15] Hanako**
It means it's impossible.
**[03:16] Olivia**
* I wish she wouldn't use an example*
* that seems weirdly possible for her.*
**[03:19] Olivia**
Just help me out, please! Do something!
**[03:22] Hanako**
Jeez, now break time's over.
**[03:25] N**
*And then what happened?*
**[03:27] [SONG] ---**
Functions of the female body
**[03:29] Olivia**
*I shouldn't have come up with such an idea...*
**[03:33] (Flashback) Olivia**
N-Nice to meet you.
**[03:36] (Flashback) Olivia**
I can't wait to get to know everyone better.
**[03:41] (Flashback) Olivia**
N-Niced to meeted you.
**[03:44] Olivia**
*I tensed up and said that totally wrong!*
**[03:48] (Flashback) Sensei**
Okay, Olivia-san, please take
that empty seat over there.
**[03:51] (Flashback) Olivia**
Okay.
**[03:52] (Flashback) Sensei**
Oh, Honda-san, since she's your neighbor,
**[03:54] (Flashback) Sensei**
I want you to teach her about the
school after classes are over.
**[03:57] (Flashback) Olivia**
Th-Thank you.
**[04:04] (Flashback) Text/Hanako**
I refuse!
***SIGN*** I refuse <3
**[04:08] (Flashback) Text/Hanako**
Wait, I meant to say I'll give you refuge!
**[04:12] (Flashback) Text/Hanako**
I swear! Believe me you must!
**[04:15] (Flashback) Olivia**
Why are *you* speaking so broken, too?
**[04:16] (Flashback) Olivia**
I-I may be inadequate, but I shall show
you around the school after classes.
**[04:23] (Flashback) Olivia**
Your Japanese is very good, Olivia-san.
**[04:28] (Flashback) Olivia**
Th-Thank you...
**[04:32] Olivia**
*This girl could be fun.*
**[04:35] Olivia**
*I found me a new toy!*
**[04:39] Olivia**
*I was so stupid for thinking that!*
**[04:42] Olivia**
*Now everyone in class thinks that's who I am!*
**[04:46] Hanako**
* Olivia's broken English act is funny.*
* I wouldn't mind her keeping it up.*
**[04:51] Hanako**
* But I guess if it's messing up her life,*
* I should probably clarify things for her.*
**[04:56] Hanako**
* I just came up with a good*
* way to start a rumor!*
***SIGN*** Olivia actually speaks really good Japanese, apparently!
**[05:06] Hanako**
*This is it!*
**[05:06] Hanako**
*A pass-it-down letter!*
**[05:08] Hanako**
* I'll just send it around and*
* pretend it didn't come from me!*
**[05:11] Hanako**
*I'm so smart!*
**[05:13] Hanako**
Hey, I just got this letter.
**[05:15] Hanako**
Read it and pass it down.
**[05:18] Girl A**
* She could just use LINE if*
* she wants to spread rumors.*
**[05:22] Girl A**
*Huh, I never knew.*
**[05:24] Girl A**
*Really, huh?*
**[05:26] Girl A**
Hey, read this and pass it down.
**[05:28] Girl B**
*Hey, I never knew.*
**[05:29] Girl B**
* I think I'll try talking*
* to her normally next time.*
**[05:32] Girl B**
*Wait, Olivia-san sits in front of me, so...*
**[05:34] Girl B**
Read this and pass it down.
**[05:36] Kasumi**
*What's this?*
**[05:39] Kasumi**
*Wh-Who wrote this?!*
**[05:42] Kasumi**
* Olivia-san's worked so hard*
* to maintain her persona!*
**[05:46] Kasumi**
*Who the hell is trying to ruin it for her?!*
***SIGN*** Olivia actually speaks really good Japanese, apparently!
**[05:49] Kasumi**
*Like that other time...*
**[05:51] (Flashback) Girl B**
You get perfect grades on
your English exams, right?
**[05:54] (Flashback) Olivia**
N-Not really.
**[05:57] (Flashback) Olivia**
Normal English and exam English
aren't always the same.
***SIGN*** Note: This is all she ever says
**[06:03] N**
*This is all she ever says.*
**[06:05] (Flashback) Girl B**
Really? For example?
**[06:06] (Flashback) Olivia**
L-Like...
**[06:09] (Flashback) Olivia**
Godzilla.
**[06:12] Girl A**
*That one's Japanese to begin with.*
**[06:14] Girl B**
*Although you can make perfect sense of that.*
**[06:17] (Flashback) Olivia**
My eyes hurt!
**[06:18] (Flashback) Olivia**
I have an owie in my eyesies!
**[06:19] (Flashback) Olivia**
Sorry, I'm going to go poo!
**[06:21] (Flashback) Girl B**
O-Okay.
**[06:22] Kasumi**
*"Olivia-san's pretty awesome!*
**[06:24] Kasumi**
*She actually sounded like a foreigner."*
**[06:26] Kasumi**
*...or so they said.*
**[06:28] Kasumi**
* And it's that character she put on that*
* gave her a good amount of personal space.*
**[06:32] Kasumi**
*If people find out she's fluent in Japanese,*
**[06:34] Kasumi**
*and she ends up fitting in with everyone...*
**[06:36] Olivia**
Oh, sorry, the basketball club invited
me, so I'm headed over there.
**[06:40] Kasumi**
*And then the Pastimers Club will be...*
**[06:47] Hanako**
I'm jealous of the popular kids.
**[06:50] Kasumi**
*Hell no!*
**[06:52] Kasumi**
* I don't want to end my precious middle*
* school life just staring at her melted face!*
**[06:57] Kasumi**
*I like things the way they are!*
**[06:58] Kasumi**
*I like things the way they are!*
**[06:59] Kasumi**
*I need to put an end to this letter!*
***SIGN*** Olivia actually speaks really good Japanese, apparently!
**[07:03] Kasumi**
*Should I not pass it down?*
**[07:04] Kasumi**
* No, if it stops at me,*
* I'll end up taking the heat.*
**[07:08] Kasumi**
*All right, I'll rewrite it.*
**[07:11] Kasumi**
* It should all work out*
* if I play stupid later.*
**[07:14] Kasumi**
* I have to make her seem like an*
* unapproachable, highly-sought-after princess.*
**[07:19] Kasumi**
*Um...*
**[07:21] Kasumi**
*There.*
**[07:22] Kasumi**
Hey, could you read this and pass it down?
**[07:29] Girl A**
Um, is this...
**[07:30] Sensei**
You there.
**[07:33] Sensei**
What is that?
**[07:35] Kasumi**
Um...
**[07:36] Sensei**
Let me see.
***SIGN*** Olivia is apparently fluent in Japlish!
***SIGN*** Olivia is apparently fluent in Lincos!
***SIGN*** Japlish
***SIGN*** Lincos
**[07:43] Sensei**
*Amazing.*
**[07:44] Sensei**
O-Olivia-san...
**[07:47] Sensei**
Is this true?
**[07:49] Sensei**
*It's gotten even worse!*
**[07:52] Sensei**
I-It's not!
**[07:53] Sensei**
It's a lie!
**[07:55] Girl A**
*Oh, it's not true?*
**[07:57] Girl A**
*Too bad.*
**[07:58] Sensei**
Everyone, passing letters
around during class is banned.
**[08:02] Girl A**
Okay.
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[08:04] Hanako**
Why did you deny that earlier, Olivia?
**[08:07] Kasumi**
Seriously.
**[08:08] Kasumi**
I made you seem like a princess.
**[08:11] Olivia**
Huh?
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** A Dutchey Wife
**[08:18] Girl A**
And so, Olivia-san
**[08:19] Girl A**
will be representing our class in the
school English speech contest next week.
**[08:25] Girl A**
Applause, please.
**[08:29] Olivia**
*My life is over.*
**[08:34] Olivia**
What do I do?!
**[08:36] Kasumi**
C-Congratulations.
**[08:38] Olivia**
I'm screwed!
**[08:39] Olivia**
Death is my only option!
**[08:40] Hanako**
You had unanimous support thanks
to the president's endorsement.
**[08:44] Olivia**
Why didn't either of you stop them?
**[08:46] Kasumi**
Well, I thought I should, but...
**[08:49] Kasumi**
But everyone seemed happy, so I
couldn't bring myself to bring it up.
**[08:54] Kasumi**
I didn't have the courage.
**[08:58] Kasumi**
I'm sorry, Olivia-san.
**[09:00] Olivia**
It's okay, I get it.
**[09:02] Olivia**
Don't be so hard on yourself.
**[09:04] Kasumi**
Olivia-san...
**[09:05] Olivia**
Why didn't *you* say anything, Hanako?
**[09:08] Hanako**
Er, I did think I should stop them, too,
**[09:12] Hanako**
but seeing the situation you caused
for yourself get so out of hand...
**[09:19] Hanako**
I was so busy trying not to laugh,
I couldn't do anything else.
**[09:24] Hanako**
You're like a peanut-brained animal
that got caught in its own trap.
**[09:28] Olivia**
I'm not forgiving you!
***SIGN*** Pfft
**[09:32] Olivia**
What do I do?
**[09:34] Olivia**
Please, what do I do?
**[09:39] Hanako**
I think you should start studying now.
**[09:44] Kasumi**
Th-That's right.
**[09:45] Kasumi**
You still have time.
**[09:47] Hanako**
Yeah.
**[09:47] Hanako**
An honest effort never betrays you.
**[09:49] Hanako**
Let's start now.
**[09:52] Olivia**
Guys...
**[09:58] Olivia**
I don't want to study!
**[10:03] Olivia**
I don't want to do it!
**[10:07] Hanako**
*What is this kid, stupid?*
**[10:09] Kasumi**
Hey, but it's better than doing nothing.
**[10:11] Olivia**
It's no use!
**[10:12] Olivia**
It would only really take
me from a one to a 1.5.
**[10:15] Olivia**
A one can never become a nine!
**[10:18] Hanako**
* That's such a trashy thing to say,*
* but I understand the reasoning.*
**[10:21] Olivia**
I want to take a shortcut.
**[10:23] Olivia**
A week!
**[10:24] Olivia**
I need a way to become fluent in a week!
**[10:26] Kasumi**
I-I'd like to know, if there's such a way.
**[10:28] Olivia**
So I *do* have no choice but to die!
**[10:30] Hanako**
Hang on.
**[10:32] Hanako**
Let's use my ultimate weapon, then.
**[10:35] Hanako**
Calling Maeda...
**[10:37] Maeda**
How may I serve you, Hanako-san?
**[10:39] Hanako**
Stop popping up like that! You're
going to give me a heart attack!
**[10:42] Maeda**
Well, I do spend my life adhered to you.
**[10:46] Hanako**
Wait, you aren't that surprised
this time, Kasumi-san.
**[10:50] Kasumi**
Well...
**[10:52] Kasumi**
I could see him.
**[10:53] Hanako**
No wonder you were sitting at a weird angle!
**[10:57] Maeda**
I heard your discussion.
**[10:59] Maeda**
Oh, yeah, so could you help?
**[11:01] Maeda**
Also, creepy.
**[11:02] Hanako**
Understood. And not creepy.
**[11:03] N**
*And then what happened?*
**[11:09] Kasumi**
What's this?
**[11:10] Maeda**
A cutting-edge android, built by
upgrading the robot Kouichi-kun,
**[11:12] Maeda**
which Hanako-sama destroyed before.
**[11:14] Maeda**
Olivia-Newton-Einstein.
**[11:16] Hanako**
Huh?
**[11:18] Hanako**
What's up, Olivia?
**[11:20] Hanako**
Aren't you impressed?
**[11:21] Olivia**
Um, so...
**[11:23] Olivia**
Its face is a lot like
the one Dad used to have.
**[11:27] Kasumi**
Your father?
**[11:30] Olivia**
He got in a huge fight with Mom about it.
**[11:34] Olivia**
What was it?
**[11:35] Olivia**
A derby doll?
**[11:37] Maeda**
I don't think it looks alike.
**[11:39] Hanako**
You know of it, Maeda?
**[11:40] Maeda**
Yes.
**[11:41] Maeda**
Your grandfather had several.
**[11:43] Hanako**
It looks like those ones?
**[11:44] Maeda**
Not at all.
**[11:45] Maeda**
I absolutely didn't scan the faces of one
of your grandfather's secret s*x dolls.
**[11:51] Olivia**
Wait!
**[11:52] Olivia**
Why didn't you put more effort
into making it, Maeda-chan?!
**[11:55] Maeda**
It's your grandfather's favorite one.
**[11:57] Hanako**
Hey, it looks enough like you, though.
**[11:59] Olivia**
Hanako!
**[12:00] Kasumi**
So how functional is it?
**[12:02] Maeda**
Hanako-sama, say something to it in English.
**[12:06] Hanako**
H-Hello.
**[12:09] Hanako**
Whoa!
**[12:11] Hanako**
It's actually Olivia's voice!
**[12:12] Maeda**
Yes.
**[12:13] Maeda**
Your grandfather is fluent in English,
**[12:15] Maeda**
so I asked him to speak, and I
modulated it with Olivia's voice.
**[12:19] Hanako**
How are you?
**[12:33] Hanako**
That's amazing! It's so fluent!
**[12:35] Hanako**
It pronounces "six" perfectly!
**[12:38] Kasumi**
Wow, Hanako-san, you can
actually understand it!
**[12:40] Kasumi**
Can you talk to it about anything?
**[12:42] Maeda**
I've programmed it with all the words
Grandfather knows, so yes, to an extent.
**[12:46] Sensei**
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
**[12:48] Sensei**
Huh?
**[12:49] Sensei**
What's this?
**[12:50] Hanako**
Sensei, look, isn't it awesome?
**[12:52] Hanako**
Grandpa and Maeda built an Olivia
that speaks perfect English.
**[12:56] Sensei**
Huh.
**[12:57] Sensei**
But aren't you competing, Olivia-san?
**[12:59] Olivia**
No way.
**[13:00] Olivia**
I don't want to study.
**[13:01] Olivia**
This is good enough.
**[13:02] Olivia**
It'll make everyone happy.
**[13:04] Sensei**
B-But you might get better
if you work hard enough.
**[13:11] Sensei**
*The hell! This person's so vulgar!*
**[13:13] Sensei**
D-Does it know any proper words?
**[13:16] Hanako**
I've only programmed it with the
slang that Grandfather knows.
**[13:20] Hanako**
Did you just say slang?!
**[13:22] Sensei**
Then we should be able to program it
with this speech really quick, right?
**[13:25] Hanako**
Right.
**[13:26] Hanako**
We can start programming it
with decent words, right?
**[13:33] Sensei**
That's right.
**[13:40] Hanako**
The android's become self-aware!
It's asserting itself!
**[13:43] Hanako**
What do we do?
**[13:44] Kasumi**
What do we do now?
**[13:45] Olivia**
I'll die.
**[13:46] Hanako**
Olivia looks like the android!
**[13:49] Sensei**
Okay.
**[13:50] Sensei**
You don't have to.
**[13:52] Sensei**
Calm down.
**[13:58] Hanako**
So what do we do now, Sensei?
**[14:00] Sensei**
We only have one option.
**[14:02] N**
* And so they had the best*
* English-speaker in class take over.*
**[14:08] Girl A**
Huh? Olivia-san hurt her throat?
And I have to take over?
**[14:12] Girl A**
Sure.
**[14:13] Hanako**
*We should have done this to begin with.*
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Genetic Engineering
***SIGN*** Faculty Room
**[14:21] Olivia**
I'm sorry, Sensei!
**[14:25] Olivia**
I won't do it anymore!
Please let me have it back.
**[14:28] Sensei**
This is the fifth time you said
you wouldn't do it anymore.
**[14:32] Sensei**
School policy forbids you from
bringing manga into school.
**[14:35] Sensei**
I'm confiscating this.
**[14:36] Sensei**
I've also contacted your parents.
**[14:39] Olivia**
You already did?
**[14:41] Sensei**
Yes, I called your home.
**[14:43] Olivia**
But Mom and Dad are both at work.
**[14:45] Sensei**
Your older brother responded
as your guardian.
**[14:49] Sensei**
He said he'd be here later to apologize.
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[14:54] Hanako**
Your brother's coming to school?
**[14:57] Olivia**
Yeah.
**[14:57] Kasumi**
I never knew you had an older brother.
**[15:01] Olivia**
I can't help buying manga magazines along
with lunch at the convenience store.
**[15:06] Hanako**
You could leave it in the club
room and read it during lunch.
**[15:10] Olivia**
I can't help it. I keep
wondering what happens next.
**[15:12] Hanako**
Olivia's brother, huh?
**[15:16] Hanako**
*I wonder what he's like.*
**[15:17] Hanako**
*He's hot! He must be hot!*
**[15:20] Hanako**
*I have such high expectations.*
**[15:22] Hanako**
*Crap, I can't calm down!*
**[15:26] Hanako**
*He probably looks like DiCaprio.*
**[15:28] Hanako**
Hey, does your brother have
a girlfriend or anything?
**[15:34] Olivia**
I don't think he does.
**[15:35] Hanako**
Score!
**[15:36] Kasumi**
Is he in high school?
**[15:38] Olivia**
Nah, he's quite a bit older than me.
**[15:41] Olivia**
He graduated early from
Mom's and Dad's college.
**[15:45] Olivia**
He has two PhDs.
**[15:47] Kasumi**
That's amazing.
**[15:49] Olivia**
I never understand half of what he's saying.
**[15:53] Olivia**
But he's so fun. I love him.
**[15:59] Hanako**
I like that you two are so close.
**[16:00] Olivia**
Really?
**[16:01] Kasumi**
Yes.
**[16:02] Kasumi**
I've never felt like that
way about my sister.
**[16:05] Hanako**
My brother's never said anything
like that about me, either.
**[16:08] Hanako**
*Olivia's brother...*
**[16:10] Hanako**
*This could be good!*
**[16:11] Hanako**
* He probably has a good personality,*
* if she's so attached to him.*
**[16:15] Hanako**
* I wouldn't mind having*
* Olivia call me "Onee-chan!"*
**[16:18] Hanako**
*I'd like two children or so.*
**[16:22] N**
* Hanako, 14-years-old, currently*
* hammering out her wicked life plans.*
**[16:29] Olivia**
Hello?
**[16:30] Olivia**
You're here already, Onii-chan?
**[16:31] Olivia**
You're at the gate?
**[16:34] Olivia**
The guard won't let you in?
**[16:36] Olivia**
Okay, I'll come get you right now.
**[16:38] Olivia**
Okay, so I'll be back.
**[16:40] Hanako**
We'll come with you.
**[16:42] Hanako**
Right, Kasumi-san?
**[16:44] Hanako**
Olivia's brother is probably as good as 2D,
so just think of him as an anime character.
**[16:49] Kasumi**
I see.
**[16:50] Kasumi**
So, like, guard x Onii-san.
**[16:52] Hanako**
That's it.
**[16:52] Hanako**
Caressing, entangled,
squeezing, getting squeezed...
**[16:56] Olivia**
There he is.
**[16:57] Olivia**
He's with the guard over there.
**[17:00] Olivia**
Onii-chan!
**[17:04] Oniisan**
Olivia!
**[17:05] Oniisan**
Strike down this barbarian!
**[17:10] Olivia**
Onii-chan!
**[17:12] Guard**
This guy's really your brother?!
**[17:14] Oniisan**
That's what I kept telling you.
**[17:16] Oniisan**
You pedestrian fool.
**[17:19] Guard**
My apologies.
**[17:20] Oniisan**
Oy vey.
**[17:22] Oniisan**
This is why I despise the lower world.
**[17:24] Olivia**
What's the "lower world"?
**[17:26] [SONG] Hanako**
What is this?
**[17:26] Hanako**
*What is this?*
**[17:29] Kasumi**
H-Hanako-san, uh...
**[17:32] Kasumi**
This might be a rude thought, but...
**[17:36] Kasumi**
Are those two even related?
**[17:38] Hanako**
That's it!
**[17:38] Hanako**
Olivia!
**[17:40] Kasumi**
Wait up, Hanako-san!
**[17:41] Kasumi**
You can't just ask her directly.
**[17:44] Kasumi**
It might be a delicate situation.
**[17:46] Hanako**
But...
**[17:47] Hanako**
All right, fine.
**[17:48] Hanako**
I'll ask her subtly.
**[17:50] Hanako**
Hey, hey, Olivia, did you adopt
him from Akihabara or something?
**[17:55] Kasumi**
Hanako-san!
**[17:57] Olivia**
Wait, did you think we aren't related?
**[18:00] Olivia**
People say that a lot these days.
**[18:04] Oniisan**
What a silly question.
**[18:05] Oniisan**
We are indeed bro and sis.
**[18:07] Hanako**
But the color of your hair...
**[18:09] Oniisan**
Flaunt not your ignorance, child
with no knowledge of Mendel's law.
**[18:13] Oniisan**
You would not be at all surprised
if you were to consider our
**[18:16] Oniisan**
father and mother's genes.
**[18:18] Oniisan**
Behold, my pure blue eyes,
same as my sister Olivia.
**[18:30] Hanako**
*He's right.*
**[18:31] Oniisan**
So, where be the faculty room?
**[18:33] Olivia**
It's upstairs.
**[18:34] Olivia**
I'll take you there. Follow me.
**[18:39] Olivia**
What's wrong, Onii-chan?
**[18:41] Olivia**
Are you tired?
**[18:42] Oniisan**
No, I'm fine.
**[18:46] Olivia**
The scent of middle school
girls is so powerful,
**[18:49] Olivia**
it gives me a tingle where
I took an arrow to my knee.
**[18:55] Oniisan**
Praise be to raw middle schoolers.
**[18:58] Hanako**
*Oh God, he's so gross!*
**[19:01] N**
*And then what happened?*
***SIGN*** Faculty Room
**[19:02] Oniisan**
It is an honor to be in your presence.
**[19:05] Oniisan**
I am but Olivia's humble older
brother, at your service.
**[19:07] Hanako**
*Why does he talk like that?!*
**[19:09] Sensei**
Right...
**[19:10] Sensei**
So you're Olivia's brother,
from the phone call earlier.
**[19:14] Sensei**
Huh?
**[19:14] Sensei**
He seemed a lot more normal on the phone.
**[19:17] Oniisan**
Is the magazine confiscated from
Olivia still well in your keep?
**[19:23] Sensei**
Oh, this one?
**[19:25] [SONG] Text**
Weekly
Young Chokotto Comic
**[19:25] Sensei**
Olivia-san brings it with her, no matter
how many times she's told not to.
**[19:29] Oniisan**
I sincerely apologize.
**[19:31] Oniisan**
I intend to give her a more
powerful scolding going forward.
**[19:35] Oniisan**
So may I ask that this
magazine is returned to us?
**[19:39] Sensei**
No, I can't do that.
**[19:41] Oniisan**
For mercy's sake...
**[19:42] Sensei**
But, uh...
**[19:44] Oniisan**
For mercy's sake!
**[19:45] Oniisan**
I absolutely must read the rest of *Mahou
Shoujo Pretty Kiss* on *Chokotto Comic*!
**[19:51] Oniisan**
I must find out if Pretty
Kiss' friend, Frenchy Kiss,
**[19:54] Oniisan**
who was captured by the evil
Erotica Army, is safe or not!
**[20:02] Hanako**
It was as though the silence had
frozen in place for all eternity.
**[20:07] Hanako**
"Why not buy another copy?"
**[20:10] Hanako**
"Couldn't you buy a copy online
if you're too embarrassed to?"
**[20:12] Hanako**
Those were the words that had been
awaiting release at my throat,
**[20:15] Hanako**
but having seen him here,
**[20:17] Hanako**
at his younger sister's school,
kissing the floor as he pleads,
**[20:20] Hanako**
it was no longer clear to me
that it would be appropriate.
**[20:23] Hanako**
These must have been the thoughts
flowing through our minds that day.
**[20:30] N**
* Excerpt from "Hanako's Magnificent*
* Life," Hakusensha Publishing.*
**[20:35] Sensei**
All right, fine.
**[20:36] Sensei**
I'll give it back.
**[20:38] Hanako**
* Sensei probably didn't want to*
* have anything to do with this.*
***SIGN*** Play
**[20:41] N**
*And then what happened?*
**[20:42] Hanako**
Good for you, Olivia-san.
**[20:42] [SONG] Text**
Faculty Room
**[20:45] Olivia**
Yeah.
**[20:46] Olivia**
Sorry, though, Onii-chan.
**[20:48] Oniisan**
Such humiliation is in fact a
treat, for Pretty Kiss' sake.
**[20:53] Oniisan**
Besides, I got to make acquaintances
with raw middle schoolers.
**[20:56] Oniisan**
It's not terrible, descending to
the lower world once in a while.
**[21:01] Oniisan**
Miss Hanako, Miss Kasumi, may I ask
that we exchange LINE contacts?
**[21:05] Hanako**
*It's too awkward to say no!*
**[21:07] Hanako**
All right, fine.
**[21:10] Kasumi**
I have an old school phone,
so I don't have LINE.
**[21:13] Hanako**
*No fair, Kasumi-san!*
***SIGN*** That evening
**[21:16] Oniisan**
* Hanako-san, good evening,*
* this is Olivia's brother.*
**[21:21] Oniisan**
*Thank you for your help this day.*
**[21:24] Hanako**
*Olivia's onii-chan's messaging me already.*
**[21:27] Hanako**
*"Hello, no problem."*
**[21:29] Oniisan**
* It is as though I am dreaming, having*
* met such a beautiful woman as you.*
**[21:35] Oniisan**
*My sister is still immature.*
**[21:37] Oniisan**
* She may well cause the two of*
* you much trouble going forward.*
**[21:41] Oniisan**
* If there is ever anything you need,*
* please feel free to come talk to me.*
**[21:46] Oniisan**
* Even if the whole world becomes*
* your enemy, I shall be your ally.*
***SIGN*** The next day
**[21:57] Hanako**
Hey, your brother's pretty
badass when he's in the phone.
**[22:02] Kasumi**
*"*In the phone"?*
**[22:04] Oniisan**
Want to see more pictures
I got of him in my phone?
**[22:07] Hanako**
Don't show me his whole body!
# 10 - Heart Go Boing Boing | Hanako's Trial of Shame | Secret of the Dong | Film Production
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/G6MEG24VR/asobi-asobase---workshop-of-fun--)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Heart Go Boing Boing
**[01:34] ---**
"In whose reign was it that a woman of rather
undistinguished lineage captured the heart
**[01:39] ---**
of the Emperor and enjoyed his favor above
all the other imperial wives and concubines?"
**[01:44] Sensei**
Let's translate this to modern Japanese.
**[01:47] Sensei**
Let's see, how about...
**[01:49] Sensei**
Fujiwara-san.
**[01:52] Fujiwara**
*Why?*
**[01:53] Fujiwara**
*For what reason?*
**[01:54] Fujiwara**
*Why, Japanese?*
**[01:56] Fujiwara**
*Why do you pick on me for classic literature?*
**[01:59] Fujiwara**
Um...
**[02:01] Fujiwara**
Er...
**[02:02] Sensei**
Was this too easy for you, Fujiwara-san?
**[02:05] Sensei**
Okay, someone else?
**[02:07] Fujiwara**
*Why?*
**[02:08] Fujiwara**
* I attended the speech contest in Miss*
* Olivia's place and got first place,*
***SIGN*** Blah Blah Blah Blah Easy Peasy
**[02:13] Fujiwara**
* and yet I'm being picked on in*
* the classic literature class*
**[02:17] Fujiwara**
*more often than any of my classmates.*
**[02:19] Fujiwara**
*I can't understand classic literature.*
**[02:22] Girl A**
Fujiwara-san.
**[02:23] Girl B**
Could you help us...
**[02:25] Girl B**
...with classic literature?
**[02:26] Fujiwara**
*Dude, no more classic literature.*
**[02:29] Fujiwara**
*Oh, my...*
**[02:31] Fujiwara**
*My classmates' eyes are ass holes.*
**[02:34] Fujiwara**
* The only person with whom equal*
* communication is possible...*
**[02:38] Fujiwara**
*Is Miss Olivia.*
**[02:40] Fujiwara**
Miss Olivia.
**[02:42] Olivia**
Wh-What is it?
**[02:44] Fujiwara**
That speech contest...
**[02:47] Olivia**
Thanks for doing it in my place.
**[02:51] Fujiwara**
Miss Olivia...
**[02:52] Fujiwara**
If you want to talk to me in
English, that's no problem.
**[03:00] Olivia**
Er... Washroom.
**[03:01] Olivia**
Hanako, come with me.
**[03:04] Olivia**
That girl's bad news!
**[03:06] Hanako**
What?
**[03:08] Hanako**
What's wrong?
**[03:08] Olivia**
Fujiwara-san!
**[03:09] Olivia**
She might be on to the fact
that I can't speak English!
**[03:13] Hanako**
Why is that your first assumption?
**[03:15] Hanako**
She wanted to talk to you
in English, didn't she?
**[03:17] Hanako**
She probably thought you were
fluent enough to talk to.
**[03:20] Olivia**
No, she was definitely testing me.
**[03:22] Olivia**
Oh, no...
**[03:23] Olivia**
I'm going to get ostracized
if people find out.
**[03:26] Hanako**
You *wanted* people to find out.
**[03:28] Hanako**
This is a good opportunity.
**[03:29] Hanako**
Don't worry, you have me and Kasumi-san.
**[03:31] Hanako**
You're not going to get cast aside.
**[03:33] Olivia**
Are you sure?
**[03:34] Hanako**
I mean, you never had that many friends
besides me and Kasumi-san to begin with.
**[03:38] Olivia**
Hey.
**[03:39] Fujiwara**
*Oh my gosh, what's happening?*
**[03:42] Fujiwara**
*Miss Olivia speaking English is impossible?*
**[03:45] Fujiwara**
*Incredible.*
**[03:47] Fujiwara**
* No, when I think about it,*
* I remember plenty of points.*
**[03:52] Fujiwara**
*Miss Nomura...*
**[03:54] Fujiwara**
*She's in the same club as Miss Olivia.*
**[03:58] Fujiwara**
*Time to do some research.*
**[04:00] Fujiwara**
Um, excuse me...
**[04:03] Fujiwara**
Could it be that Miss Olivia
has trouble speaking English?
**[04:13] Fujiwara**
*So this is the Japanese kabedon.*
**[04:17] Kasumi**
U-Um...
**[04:19] Kasumi**
Please...
**[04:20] Kasumi**
Don't tell anyone about it.
**[04:22] Fujiwara**
Oh, my.
**[04:24] Fujiwara**
For what reason?
**[04:25] Kasumi**
For reasons!
**[04:27] Fujiwara**
*Huh?*
**[04:28] Fujiwara**
*What's happening?*
**[04:29] Fujiwara**
*This thrill in my heart...*
**[04:31] Fujiwara**
*Shock... suspense...*
**[04:34] Fujiwara**
*I might be opening a new door.*
**[04:38] Kasumi**
Could you please promise me?
**[04:40] Fujiwara**
I can.
**[04:41] Fujiwara**
But in exchange, let's go on a date.
**[04:46] Kasumi**
B-But...
**[04:47] Fujiwara**
Don't worry about it, if you don't want to.
**[04:50] Fujiwara**
Never mind.
**[04:51] Fujiwara**
I'll just tell everyone
about Miss Olivia's English.
**[04:55] Kasumi**
Um, er, well...
**[04:58] Kasumi**
Uh...
**[05:00] Kasumi**
A-All righ—
**[05:04] Aozora**
Nuh-uh.
**[05:05] Aozora**
I already have her booked.
**[05:08] Aozora**
Sorry, Fujiwara-san.
**[05:08] Kasumi**
Aozora-san...
**[05:09] Aozora**
Let's go.
**[05:13] ---**
*Must I spend my life*
**[05:15] ---**
* stricken with grief, with never*
* a chance of relief for my heart?*
**[05:22] N**
* The shock awakens her talent*
* in classic literature.*
**[05:25] Kasumi**
Um, I'm okay now.
**[05:28] Kasumi**
Thanks for helping me.
**[05:32] Aozora**
I just happened to pass by, so...
**[05:34] Aozora**
You're bad at negotiating.
**[05:36] Aozora**
I almost started laughing.
**[05:39] Aozora**
But that makes you interesting.
**[05:41] Aozora**
I like that about you.
**[05:44] Kasumi**
R-Right...
**[05:50] Aozora**
Bye-bye.
**[05:54] Fujiwara**
* I think I'll keep the thing*
* about English a secret so that*
**[05:58] Fujiwara**
* I have an item to negotiate with for when*
* I ask Miss Nomura out on a date again.*
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Hanako's Trial of Shame
**[06:07] Olivia**
So he lent me his novel,
but it's so complicated,
**[06:10] Olivia**
I couldn't get through three lines.
**[06:13] Olivia**
There're too many characters.
**[06:15] Kasumi**
* What was that thing that*
* happened yesterday?*
**[06:18] Kasumi**
*No, but Aozora-san seems like a player.*
**[06:22] Kasumi**
*Maybe she didn't really mean anything by it.*
**[06:25] Kasumi**
* Hanako-san seems like she's got*
* something on her mind, too.*
**[06:28] Kasumi**
*I wonder what's wrong.*
**[06:30] Hanako**
* This is random, but I want*
* to make the girls say "poo."*
**[06:36] Hanako**
*How should I make them do it?*
**[06:37] Hanako**
* I want them to blurt it out when*
* it's totally inappropriate.*
**[06:42] Hanako**
* How do I make such a*
* situation happen naturally?*
**[06:46] Hanako**
*This has been weighing on me.*
**[06:47] Kasumi**
*I-I guess everyone's got their woes.*
**[06:53] N**
* This one's not really*
* thinking about anything.*
**[06:56] Olivia**
Wh-What's up?
**[06:57] Hanako**
Let's play a game!
***SIGN*** Strawberry Milk
**[06:59] Hanako**
Write some words down.
**[07:01] Hanako**
Lots, guys. *Lots*.
**[07:02] Hanako**
And fold them up and put them in this box.
**[07:06] Hanako**
Shuffle it up, and now...
**[07:07] Hanako**
Take one each without seeing what
it says, and paste it on your head.
**[07:13] Olivia**
Like this?
**[07:14] Hanako**
That's it.
**[07:15] Hanako**
And the rest of us who can read
it try to get you to say it.
**[07:19] Hanako**
If you do, you lose.
**[07:20] Olivia**
So it's kind of like Taboo.
**[07:23] Hanako**
I wonder what mine says.
**[07:26] Hanako**
* I had them each write ten words, and I'm*
* pretending I chose them at random...*
**[07:32] Hanako**
*But I wrote "poo" on all ten of mine!*
***SIGN*** Poo Poo Poo Poo Poo Poo Poo
**[07:36] Hanako**
* Too bad, though, they haven't*
* gotten "poo" this time.*
**[07:41] Hanako**
*Maybe they'll get it on the second round.*
**[07:44] Hanako**
* It'll be hilarious if they both*
* have "poo" on their heads.*
**[07:48] Hanako**
*I'm totally going to make them say it!*
**[07:50] Hanako**
*Poo!*
***SIGN*** Poo
***SIGN*** Kiss Smart
**[07:54] Kasumi**
*Wh-Who wrote that one?*
**[07:56] Hanako**
Let's see...
**[07:57] Hanako**
*Let's get Olivia first.*
**[07:59] Hanako**
I got the second highest
grade in our year last term.
**[08:03] Olivia**
Oh yeah, you did.
**[08:04] Kasumi**
You're surprisingly studious, Hanako-san.
**[08:08] Hanako**
I was hooked on looking
at cat anuses at the time, though,
**[08:11] Hanako**
so I couldn't study too much.
**[08:14] Hanako**
Even then, I got second place effortlessly.
**[08:18] Hanako**
What's the deal with my head?
**[08:25] Olivia**
You were totally studying your ass off.
**[08:27] Olivia**
I think you have, like, five screws
loose in your head, though.
**[08:31] Hanako**
*Huh?*
**[08:32] Hanako**
*Do people think I'm not smart?*
**[08:38] Kasumi**
Wait, what's wrong?
**[08:40] Kasumi**
Did we say something bad?
**[08:41] Olivia**
Okay, Kasumi's my target.
**[08:43] Olivia**
Hey, you do that thing, don't you?
**[08:45] Olivia**
You know...
**[08:46] Hanako**
Do what?
**[08:47] Olivia**
Like, you know, that thing.
**[08:49] Olivia**
I do it, too.
**[08:50] Olivia**
*When I say hi to Mom and Dad.*
**[08:52] Olivia**
Like...
**[08:54] Olivia**
Smooch.
**[08:55] Olivia**
*Olivia, you idiot!*
**[08:57] Olivia**
*You made Kasumi-san's taboo word so obvious!*
**[09:02] Kasumi**
No, er, I...
**[09:05] Olivia**
I know you do it.
**[09:08] Olivia**
Your family—
**[09:08] Kasumi**
Did you...
**[09:09] Kasumi**
Did you see what happened in the hallway?
**[09:15] Hanako**
Kasumi-san...
**[09:17] Hanako**
Tell me...
**[09:19] Olivia**
*Oh, shit!*
**[09:22] Olivia**
Question for Hanako!
**[09:24] Olivia**
What's brown and...
**[09:26] Hanako**
Poo.
**[09:27] Olivia**
Hanako loses.
**[09:28] Olivia**
*How did she know from just that hint?!*
**[09:29] Hanako**
Olivia, come with me.
***SIGN*** Slam
**[09:33] Hanako**
Ta-da.
**[09:35] Hanako**
It's time for Hanako's
emergency Trial of Shame.
**[09:39] Hanako**
The charge: Suspicion of
chissing in the hallway.
**[09:43] Hanako**
And our betrayal.
**[09:46] Hanako**
And causing me humiliation.
**[09:49] Hanako**
And probably something else.
**[09:53] Kasumi**
*There's just more and more!*
**[09:54] Hanako**
I-I plead innocent.
**[09:58] Hanako**
Would you still say that
after hearing this song?
**[10:01] Hanako**
You climb the stairs to adulthood,
but you're still a Cinderella.
**[10:08] Kasumi**
Wh-What song is that?
**[10:11] Hanako**
You don't know?
**[10:12] Hanako**
I don't know the rest of the lyrics, either.
**[10:14] Kasumi**
Stop it, please.
**[10:16] Kasumi**
I want to believe that a girl's
friendship is stronger than that.
**[10:20] Hanako**
Nay!
**[10:22] Hanako**
A girl's friendship is as flimsy as a sheet
of calligraphy paper drenched in black ink.
**[10:28] Hanako**
Right, Olivia-chan?
**[10:29] Hanako**
You love shoujo manga, don't you?
**[10:31] Hanako**
All those manga you read depict
such tenuous friendships
**[10:33] Hanako**
as though they're endearing, don't they?
**[10:36] Hanako**
You love *ChokoComi*, don't you?
**[10:39] Hanako**
* No... There's no one in ChokoComi*
* who would dress up like this*
**[10:43] Hanako**
* to interrogate her friend just*
* because she went and kissed someone.*
**[10:45] (Flashback) Girl 1**
You kissed them?!
**[10:47] (Flashback) Girl 1**
No way, congrats!
**[10:48] (Flashback) Girl 2**
Thanks.
**[10:49] Olivia**
Like that.
**[10:51] Hanako**
They just don't show it in the manga!
**[10:52] Hanako**
This is what they all do behind the scenes!
**[10:55] Olivia**
*Behind the scenes? What?*
**[10:57] Olivia**
You know, though, it really wasn't the
kind of thing you'd be pissed about.
**[11:00] Hanako**
Why not?
**[11:01] Olivia**
Because...
**[11:02] Olivia**
We're in a girls' school.
**[11:08] Hanako**
All right!
**[11:09] Hanako**
I'm sorry!
**[11:10] Hanako**
You're innocent, Kasumi-san.
**[11:12] Kasumi**
I'm free?
**[11:14] Hanako**
Sure you are.
**[11:15] Hanako**
Sorry.
**[11:16] Hanako**
I made a mistake.
**[11:18] Hanako**
We're friends, Kasumi-san.
**[11:19] Hanako**
I love you!
**[11:21] Hanako**
A girl's friendship is indestructible!
**[11:23] Hanako**
BFFs!
**[11:24] Olivia**
*It's even more shallow now!*
**[11:27] Hanako**
You could have told me you
were kissing another girl.
**[11:30] Hanako**
It's just an extension of saying hi.
**[11:34] Hanako**
Not a problem at all!
**[11:38] Kasumi**
Y-You're right.
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
**[11:46] Aozora**
Nomura-san, there's something
I want you to see.
**[11:50] Kasumi**
Wh-What's that?
**[11:52] Aozora**
The truth is, I...
**[12:06] Kasumi**
*Why did I have such a dream?*
***SIGN*** Secret of the Dong
***SIGN*** Home Economics
**[12:13] Sensei**
Do you have all your materials, everyone?
**[12:16] Sensei**
Okay, you can begin making your hotcakes.
***SIGN*** Cooking Practice
**[12:19] Olivia**
What's up?
**[12:20] Hanako**
I wasn't listening to Sensei,
so I don't know how to do it.
**[12:23] Olivia**
Same.
**[12:24] Kasumi**
Hey, I was listening.
**[12:27] Hanako**
Okay, we'll do it as you tell us.
**[12:29] Kasumi**
First, break the eggs.
**[12:31] Kasumi**
Pour in 100 ml of milk.
***SIGN*** Taisho Yummy Milk
***SIGN*** Hotcake Mix
**[12:34] Kasumi**
Add in the hotcake mix.
**[12:36] Kasumi**
And beat it well with the schl*ng.
**[12:38] Hanako**
Use the schl*ng...
**[12:40] Kasumi**
...to beat it well.
**[12:41] Kasumi**
Sch—
**[12:43] Hanako**
What the hell, Kasumi-san?!
**[12:45] Olivia**
Why would you stir with such a thing?!
**[12:46] Kasumi**
No, I'm sorry, I meant, use the whisk!
**[12:49] Kasumi**
Use the wiener!
**[12:50] Hanako**
You're still messed up!
**[12:51] N**
*And then what happened?*
**[12:53] Olivia**
Oh yeah, my dad went to
Okinawa for a business trip.
**[12:56] Olivia**
He brought home this really tasty gift.
**[12:58] Hanako**
What was it?
**[13:00] Olivia**
It was this Okinawan snack.
**[13:03] Olivia**
Chin...
**[13:04] Olivia**
Chin...
**[13:05] Kasumi**
Oh, I know what you're talking about.
**[13:06] Kasumi**
Dick juice (*chinkosu*).
**[13:07] Kasumi**
Wait, no, dick cheese (*chinkasu*).
**[13:09] Kasumi**
That's not it.
**[13:09] Kasumi**
Penis (*chinpoko*)...
**[13:09] Kasumi**
Right, it's chinsukou.
**[13:11] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, are you sure you're okay?
**[13:13] Hanako**
You should go to the nurse's office.
**[13:15] Kasumi**
No, I-I'm fine.
**[13:22] Kasumi**
*What in the world has gotten into me?*
**[13:26] Kasumi**
*It's because I had that weird dream.*
**[13:29] Kasumi**
*I can't get that image out of my head.*
**[13:31] Kasumi**
*I don't want to turn into a pervert.*
**[13:35] Kasumi**
* I have to get that image*
* out of my head somehow.*
**[13:39] Kasumi**
*So... I have to find out.*
**[13:46] Kasumi**
Hanako-san, Olivia-san...
**[13:49] Kasumi**
I need to talk.
**[13:50] Hanako**
What's wrong? You're kind of weird today.
**[13:53] Olivia**
Is there something bothering you?
**[13:54] Kasumi**
Yes.
**[13:56] Kasumi**
The truth is...
**[13:58] Kasumi**
I want to look inside Aozora-san's skirt.
**[14:03] Hanako**
*Kasumi-san's turned into a pervert.*
**[14:07] Hanako**
Want to go to the hospital?
**[14:09] Hanako**
Although even if you told them you're
all better, they might not let you out.
**[14:12] Kasumi**
No!
**[14:12] Olivia**
I never knew you were like that.
**[14:13] Kasumi**
Wait, wait!
**[14:14] Kasumi**
Remember what you said, Olivia-san?
**[14:17] Olivia**
What?
**[14:17] Kasumi**
That Aozora-san might be a guy.
**[14:19] Olivia**
Oh, I might have said that.
**[14:22] Olivia**
That was my mistake, though.
**[14:23] Kasumi**
Hold on!
**[14:24] Kasumi**
What if you weren't mistaken?
**[14:26] Hanako**
Why are you suddenly so suspicious?
**[14:28] Kasumi**
Well, uh...
**[14:29] Kasumi**
* I can't tell them it's*
* because I had a weird dream.*
**[14:33] Hanako**
I mean, if that'll make you feel better...
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[14:37] Hanako**
Okay, I'll tell you the most common
technique for looking up someone's skirt.
**[14:43] Hanako**
That technique is...
**[14:44] Hanako**
To pretend you tripped, and
dive into a girl's undies!
**[14:51] Olivia**
If you're talking about the illustration
above your head, I'm kind of really confused.
**[14:55] Kasumi**
Like, I don't know how you get there.
**[14:58] Hanako**
Okay, well maybe you can't
see inside her undies,
**[15:00] Hanako**
but you could do this much, couldn't you?
**[15:02] Kasumi**
I-I guess I could do that.
***SIGN*** 10 minutes later
**[15:04] Hanako**
You should bring some print-outs with
you so it doesn't look so deliberate.
**[15:07] Kasumi**
*Here she comes.*
**[15:12] Aozora**
Nomura-san...
**[15:14] Aozora**
Are you okay?
**[15:17] Kasumi**
Y-Yes.
**[15:20] Kasumi**
I'm sorry. I failed.
**[15:22] Hanako**
Lucky, Kasumi-san, that was really good!
**[15:25] Hanako**
I wish she'd hold me up like that, too.
**[15:26] Olivia**
Did she smell nice?
**[15:27] Kasumi**
*Olivia's sounding like a geezer.*
**[15:30] Kasumi**
It's kind of hard tripping on purpose.
**[15:33] Hanako**
And it would hurt, too.
**[15:35] Olivia**
I have a good idea.
**[15:37] Olivia**
Patient in critical
condition, coming through!
***SIGN*** A few moments earlier
**[15:43] Olivia**
So we're going to speed up really
fast in front of Aozora-san,
**[15:47] Olivia**
and then let go by "accident."
**[15:49] Olivia**
This would be the only way
Aozora-san can dodge you.
**[15:53] Olivia**
How's that?
**[15:54] Olivia**
You could totally see her panties that way.
**[15:56] Olivia**
You're going to pass by her
with her legs spread wide.
**[16:00] Kasumi**
Uh, well...
**[16:02] Hanako**
It'll work.
**[16:03] Kasumi**
* Hanako-san gets good grades,*
* but she's probably a dumbass.*
**[16:06] Kasumi**
* So here I am now, but the only*
* reason I'm being carried like this*
**[16:10] Kasumi**
* is so that I can see if*
* Aozora-san has a c*ck.*
**[16:14] Kasumi**
*Father, Mother, I'm sorry for being born.*
**[16:19] Hanako**
*There she is.*
**[16:21] Olivia**
Aozora-san!
**[16:23] Olivia**
Sorry, move, move!
**[16:26] Olivia**
*Just kidding, we're actually speeding up.*
**[16:31] N**
* It would be most sensible*
* to continue going straight.*
**[16:35] N**
* But the girls' objective was*
* to charge at Aozora-san,*
**[16:38] N**
*and so they unthinkingly made a sharp turn.*
**[16:44] Hanako**
*We're losing balance!*
**[16:46] Olivia**
*We're tipping over!*
**[16:54] Kasumi**
*Huh?*
**[16:56] Kasumi**
*The ceiling?*
**[16:57] Kasumi**
*What happened?*
**[17:00] Kasumi**
*Where are they?*
**[17:03] Kasumi**
*Amazing.*
***SIGN*** Absolutely not in a good way.
**[17:06] Aozora**
Nomura-san, are you okay?
**[17:08] Kasumi**
Huh?
**[17:08] Kasumi**
Y-Yes.
**[17:10] Aozora**
You were going to the nurse's office
because you felt sick, weren't you?
**[17:13] Aozora**
Hold on, I'll take you there.
**[17:15] Kasumi**
U-Um, I think they're sicker than I am.
**[17:19] Aozora**
Look at their acrobatics.
**[17:22] Aozora**
I'm sure they're fine.
**[17:22] Kasumi**
But...
**[17:25] Olivia**
Someone, help...
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
**[17:32] Hanako**
We're in space.
**[17:34] Hanako**
Finally.
**[17:36] Hanako**
We're finally here.
***SIGN*** Film Production
**[17:45] Kasumi**
Cut!
**[17:46] Kasumi**
That's good.
**[17:48] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, is this really safe?
**[17:51] Kasumi**
What do you mean?
**[17:53] Hanako**
We aren't going to have
technical difficulties
**[17:55] Hanako**
airing this at the cultural festival, are we?
**[17:57] Kasumi**
O-Of course not.
**[17:59] Olivia**
Why are we even doing a movie for the
Pastimers Club's cultural festival exhibit?
**[18:03] Olivia**
And why did it have to be sci-fi?
**[18:05] Olivia**
We could have done romance
or mystery or whatever else.
**[18:07] Kasumi**
I-I saw *Star Trek*.
**[18:10] Hanako**
*That's the only reason we're doing sci-fi?!*
**[18:12] Hanako**
*Are you sure you know enough about it?!*
**[18:14] Kasumi**
It's fine.
**[18:16] Kasumi**
I learned that all you
need to do to look like
**[18:18] Kasumi**
an alien is to stand
expressionless with a bowl cut.
**[18:20] Hanako**
*That's* what you got out of *Star Trek*?!
**[18:22] Kasumi**
Olivia-san's a sexy alien spy.
**[18:25] Olivia**
O-Okay.
**[18:26] Hanako**
Olivia, hang on, are you wearing pads?
**[18:29] Olivia**
They aren't big ones.
**[18:30] Hanako**
No fair!
**[18:31] Kasumi**
By the way, I'd like the spy's
actress to decide her fate.
**[18:36] Kasumi**
How would you like to perish?
**[18:38] Olivia**
* She says it like I have an option,*
* but I'm dying either way, aren't I?*
**[18:41] Kasumi**
Okay, here we go.
**[18:43] Kasumi**
Start!
**[18:48] Olivia**
I-I am sexy spy.
**[18:53] Kasumi**
Okay, that was excellent!
**[18:56] Hanako**
*The spy just introduced herself as a spy.*
**[18:59] Kasumi**
Okay, next, a serious stare-down scene.
**[19:02] Kasumi**
Start.
**[19:03] Hanako**
What?
**[19:04] Hanako**
Sexy spy, you say?
**[19:12] Hanako**
*Just once...*
**[19:14] Kasumi**
Hanako-san!
**[19:15] Kasumi**
No blinking!
**[19:16] Hanako**
Kasumi-san...
**[19:18] Hanako**
I can't!
**[19:19] Hanako**
I can't stare for a whole minute!
**[19:20] Kasumi**
This scene is a whole minute of staring.
**[19:22] Kasumi**
I'm counting on you.
**[19:23] Kasumi**
Start.
**[19:25] Hanako**
Sexy spy, you say?
**[19:31] Hanako**
*Scary, scary, scary!*
**[19:33] Kasumi**
All right, cut!
***SIGN*** Haah, haah, haah...
**[19:37] Hanako**
Oh yeah, don't you think it's kind of boring
not having a spaceship in a sci-fi movie?
**[19:41] Kasumi**
Th-That's true.
**[19:44] Kasumi**
How about a cardboard box
that says "spaceship" on it?
***SIGN*** Spaceship
**[19:47] Hanako**
* Dude, that's just a cardboard*
* box that says "spaceship" on it.*
**[19:50] Kasumi**
It'll look convincing if you hold a
lever thing and shout "skadoosh."
**[19:56] Hanako**
*You're making a complete mockery of sci-fi!*
**[20:00] Sensei**
Sorry I'm late, guys.
**[20:02] Sensei**
How's the movie coming?
**[20:04] Olivia**
Sci-fi's harder than we thought, Sensei.
**[20:08] Sensei**
Sci-fi?
**[20:09] Sensei**
You're the Pastimers Club, so why
don't you have some pastime props?
**[20:14] Kasumi**
Sensei...
**[20:16] Kasumi**
Are you mocking sci-fi?
**[20:18] Sensei**
I'm sorry.
**[20:19] Hanako**
You're standing in front of
the biggest mocker, Sensei.
**[20:22] Hanako**
It's fine.
**[20:23] Sensei**
But I think you should take the
opportunity to advertise the club.
**[20:26] Olivia**
That's true.
**[20:27] Olivia**
We should show them that we're
doing proper club stuff,
**[20:30] Olivia**
or they're going to start telling
us to vacate the room again.
**[20:34] Kasumi**
How about this, then?
**[20:37] Olivia**
Help me!
**[20:41] Hanako**
You have no escape from the high-tech
restraint of the Skippy-Ropey.
**[20:48] Hanako**
And with this enhanced interrogation tool,
**[20:52] Hanako**
I shall make you confess
all of your spy activities.
**[20:55] Olivia**
Th-That's...
**[20:57] Olivia**
The most advanced interrogation tool
in the universe, the Kewpie-chan!
**[21:01] Olivia**
Oh, no!
**[21:03] Olivia**
That tool is going to blow my mind.
**[21:07] Olivia**
It's going to do things to me.
**[21:12] Hanako**
It is truly mind-blowing.
**[21:15] Hanako**
I tried it on myself, and it wasn't
long before my brain went whack.
**[21:24] Olivia**
*Honda-san!*
**[21:25] Olivia**
*I'm pretty sure your brain's already whack*
**[21:27] Olivia**
* if you're using interrogation*
* tools on yourself!*
**[21:30] Kasumi**
How's that?
**[21:31] Sensei**
Um...
**[21:33] Sensei**
I-I think it'll be good...
**[21:37] Kasumi**
Yeah!
**[21:37] Olivia**
*Oh, jeez, she's got such a good smile.*
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[21:40] Hanako**
Hey, what do you think of this poster I made?
**[21:43] Kasumi**
It's perfect!
**[21:45] Kasumi**
Could you write "Announcing
Anime Season 2!" at the top?
**[21:48] Hanako**
But there's no plans for a season 2.
**[21:50] Kasumi**
I want it to look like a huge project.
***SIGN*** Announcing Anime Season 2!!
**[21:53] Hanako**
*I never knew Kasumi was such a dreamer.*
**[22:02] [SONG] ---**
*The Tale of Genji* Excerpt Translation: Dennis Washburn
***SIGN*** Japanese Pastimes, Please
**[23:27] N**
Tag.
***SIGN*** Tag
***SIGN*** Murderer
**[23:28] N**
A game in which one becomes a demon.
***SIGN*** Alien
demon
**[23:31] N**
Oni are often arrested for
taking their pranks too far.
***SIGN*** Unit-01
Oni
**[23:35] N**
Because of the dangers involved,
it is banned at school.
# 11 - Goodbye, Student Council President | Oka-ken Witch Project | Face of Mass Destruction
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/G6MEG24VR/asobi-asobase---workshop-of-fun--)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Goodbye, Student Council President
**[01:34] President**
Nope.
**[01:35] Hanako**
Why not, Student Council President?!
**[01:37] Hanako**
It's an epic!
**[01:39] Kasumi**
I even made a poster.
**[01:40] President**
No matter how epic it may be,
**[01:42] President**
I can't allow it to be screened
at the cultural festival.
**[01:44] President**
There are way too many things
that make it a no-go.
**[01:47] President**
Especially troubling was the torture scene,
**[01:49] President**
where you tried to shove an
onion-head doll up her ass.
**[01:53] Hanako**
That was faked!
**[01:54] Hanako**
I told you to cut that scene, Kasumi-san!
**[01:57] Olivia**
*She's so freaked out.*
**[01:59] President**
In any case, I can't allow it.
**[02:00] President**
Please bring us another proposal
for the cultural festival.
**[02:06] Hanako**
We'll be back with a director's cut version.
**[02:09] President**
*The director's cut must be even worse.*
**[02:14] President**
* Student Council President*
* work is pretty drab.*
**[02:17] President**
* Is my precious term going to end responding*
* to all these stupid problems?*
**[02:22] Kasumi**
How long will you be here tomorrow?
**[02:24] President**
Let's see...
**[02:25] President**
There are still some clubs that
haven't submitted their proposals,
**[02:28] President**
so I need to bug them.
**[02:29] President**
The vice president should be here,
so she should respond in my place.
**[02:34] Kasumi**
There's a vice president?
**[02:36] President**
*There is, believe it or not.*
**[02:38] N**
*And then what happened?*
**[02:40] President**
* I wonder when the vice*
* president's getting here.*
**[02:42] VP**
Hey, President! Sowwie!
**[02:45] VP**
I'm back from the meeting with Opposite-san.
**[02:48] President**
Thank you, Vice President.
**[02:50] President**
Can you take it from here?
**[02:52] VP**
Roger that.
***SIGN*** Girls' School
***SIGN*** Convenience store
***SIGN*** Hospital
**[02:53] President**
* The cultural festival is held*
* every year with the boys' school*
**[02:57] President**
*on the opposite side of the street.*
***SIGN*** Boys' school
**[03:00] President**
* Everyone calls the boys' school*
* by their nickname, Opposite-san.*
**[03:04] President**
* And this vice president goes to the*
* boys' school just about every day,*
**[03:09] President**
*saying it's for "meetings."*
**[03:13] President**
*By herself, no less.*
**[03:14] President**
Um, should I come to Opposite-san
with you for once?
**[03:18] President**
It must be tough holding meetings
with them by yourself.
**[03:21] VP**
It's okay.
**[03:22] VP**
I mean, you have a lot to do.
**[03:24] VP**
I don't want to waste your
time doing grunt work.
**[03:28] President**
I see.
**[03:29] President**
* To be honest, I'm the one*
* doing grunt work every day.*
**[03:32] President**
Thank you for your consideration.
**[03:37] President**
* The negative emotions in my heart*
* spread like soy sauce stains.*
**[03:44] VP**
Hey, what's up?
**[03:46] VP**
What? You miss me?
**[03:48] VP**
Okay, sure.
**[03:49] VP**
I'll be right back.
**[03:51] VP**
Sorry, President, they need me for stuff
again, so I'm going back to Opposite-san.
**[03:55] President**
But I have to go visit the other clubs.
**[03:59] President**
I need you to watch the office.
**[04:01] VP**
You should just put up a sign
saying "Not in the office."
**[04:04] President**
Actually, I'll go to Opposite-san while
I'm out visiting the other clubs,
**[04:07] President**
so I'd like you to stay here.
**[04:10] VP**
No way.
**[04:11] VP**
I'm the only one who knows how to do it.
**[04:12] President**
Just tell me, and I'll deal with it.
**[04:14] VP**
Nope, nope, nope! You wouldn't
get it, even if I told you.
**[04:18] VP**
It's really complicated.
**[04:19] President**
*Okay, now what?*
**[04:22] President**
*I want to solve everything peacefully.*
**[04:25] President**
* I absolutely don't want to get in*
* a fight with the vice president.*
**[04:28] President**
*But just once...*
**[04:30] President**
*Just once in my life...*
**[04:32] President**
*I want to go visit Opposite-san.*
**[04:38] President**
Rock, paper, scissors.
**[04:42] President**
*Oh, no, I ran out in such a hurry.*
**[04:47] President**
*This is awful. She isn't on to me, is she?*
**[04:48] President**
* She hasn't realized that I wanted*
* to go to the boys' school, has she?*
**[04:52] President**
*I never knew I had such a slutty streak.*
**[04:55] President**
* Please don't let anyone notice*
* this tiny bud within me.*
**[05:04] President**
Boys' school! Woo!
**[05:06] Girl A**
*The president's happy to go to Opposite-san?*
**[05:09] Girl B**
*That's a bit creepy.*
***SIGN*** Supernatural Phenomena Science Club AKA Occult Club
**[05:11] President**
* Oh, yeah, the Occult Club hasn't*
* submitted their proposal yet.*
**[05:17] President**
*I should go in and ask them first.*
**[05:25] President**
*Th-They have terrifying glares, as always.*
**[05:28] Oka**
Is something wrong, President?
**[05:31] President**
Uh, you haven't submitted a
proposal for your contribution
**[05:34] President**
to the cultural festival, have you?
**[05:37] Oka**
We plan on opening a snack shop.
**[05:41] President**
Huh, a snack shop?
**[05:43] President**
I see, I see.
**[05:44] President**
Is that...
**[05:46] President**
* I can't bring myself to ask if*
* it's safe for human consumption.*
**[05:50] President**
That sounds delicious.
**[05:52] Oka**
Please have one, President.
**[05:55] President**
Th-Thank you.
**[05:58] Oka**
Please let me know what you think.
**[06:00] Agrippa**
Have it now, please.
**[06:07] President**
Th-Thank you.
**[06:10] Oka**
*That gesture...*
**[06:11] Agrippa**
*It was like a "have mercy" pose.*
**[06:13] President**
Okay, please bring me your proposal later.
***SIGN*** Supernatural
Phenomena
Science Club
AKA Occult Club
**[06:16] President**
*Please let me be safe.*
**[06:19] Olivia**
Why did you have squid ink
spaghetti for lunch, Hanako?
**[06:22] Olivia**
It reeked pretty bad.
**[06:23] Hanako**
Mom's hooked on squid ink right now.
**[06:25] Olivia**
Your lips are black as hell.
**[06:27] Kasumi**
Hey, President.
**[06:28] Hanako**
That's perfect.
**[06:29] Hanako**
President!
**[06:31] Olivia**
Could you look at the movie again?
**[06:33] Kasumi**
Onion-head's not in it anymore.
**[06:35] President**
Wait, hang on a second.
**[06:37] President**
I'm going to Opposite...
**[06:38] Olivia**
Oh, yeah, I saw you come
out of the Occult Club.
**[06:41] Hanako**
Hey, they're running a snack shop
for the cultural festival, right?
**[06:43] President**
Huh? How did you know?
**[06:50] President**
Have you happened to try
the Occult Club's candy?
**[06:55] Hanako**
Yes.
**[06:56] Hanako**
They gave me one yesterday.
**[07:01] President**
One-day incubation period...
**[07:05] President**
Please go see a doctor as soon
as you can, too, Honda-san.
**[07:11] Hanako**
What was that?
**[07:13] Kasumi**
It was like a "have mercy" thing.
**[07:16] VP**
It's a message from the president.
**[07:19] VP**
She's going to the hospital, huh?
**[07:21] VP**
I guess I'm going to Opposite-san, then!
***SIGN*** Tee hee
**[07:26] N**
* The president had no idea that*
* the vice president was going out*
**[07:30] N**
* with all six members of the*
* Opposite-san student council.*
**[07:33] N**
* This leads to the worst bloodshed*
* in the school's history,*
**[07:38] N**
*but that's a story for another time.*
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
**[07:44] [SONG] ---**
Oka-ken Witch Project
**[07:48] Agrippa**
Luu.
**[07:50] Agrippa**
Isn't it great that the
president tried our candy?
**[07:53] Olivia**
Yeah.
**[07:53] Agrippa**
I'm sure we'll get approval
for the snack shop.
**[07:56] Olivia**
Oh, and I want to make other
snacks, aside from candy.
**[08:00] Agrippa**
Good idea.
**[08:02] Agrippa**
Let's make a huge menu.
**[08:03] Agrippa**
All right, let's go for it.
**[08:05] Olivia**
Yeah.
**[08:06] Agrippa**
Let's witch cooking!
**[08:09] Olivia**
How about cookies?
**[08:11] Agrippa**
That sounds easy.
**[08:12] Olivia**
Yeah, you just have to knead
it, mold it and bake it.
**[08:15] Agrippa**
It would be kind of lame
doing normal cookies though.
**[08:18] Olivia**
Okay, let's draw designs for
witchy cookies and share them.
**[08:22] Agrippa**
Okay.
**[08:23] N**
*And then what happened?*
**[08:25] Agrippa**
Okay, let's share them.
**[08:27] Olivia**
I propose witch hat and broom cookies.
**[08:31] Agrippa**
That's so cute.
**[08:33] Olivia**
How about yours, Agrippa?
**[08:35] Agrippa**
A mouse jammed into concrete cookie.
**[08:40] Olivia**
You sure are crazy.
**[08:44] Agrippa**
Thank you!
**[08:45] Agrippa**
Want to make all of these, then?
**[08:48] Olivia**
Yeah, let's do that.
**[08:49] Olivia**
Done!
**[08:51] Agrippa**
They turned out well.
**[08:53] Olivia**
Yeah.
**[08:53] Olivia**
How about yours, Agrippa?
**[08:54] Agrippa**
They're almost done.
**[08:57] Agrippa**
My grandma gave me this
vial of magic essence.
**[09:03] Agrippa**
Can I pour a drop in the end?
**[09:05] Olivia**
What does it do?
**[09:07] Agrippa**
I don't know.
**[09:08] Agrippa**
But my grandma taught me a long time ago...
**[09:11] (Flashback) Grandma**
Aguri, this is a magic essence to
use when the time is truly right.
**[09:17] (Flashback) Agrippa**
Is it magic?
**[09:19] (Flashback) Grandma**
It sure is.
**[09:20] (Flashback) Grandma**
Just a drop of this when you need
it, and it'll make everyone happy.
**[09:25] Olivia**
Okay, let's do it.
**[09:28] Agrippa**
Let's make everyone who tries it happy!
***SIGN*** Faculty Room
**[09:33] Sensei**
Me? Taste test it?
**[09:35] Olivia**
Yes, Sensei.
**[09:37] Agrippa**
We want to hear what you think of it.
**[09:39] Sensei**
Are you sure you want *me* to try it?
**[09:42] Sensei**
I can't wait.
**[09:43] Sensei B**
What's that, Sensei?
**[09:45] Sensei A**
The Occult Club girls made these snacks.
**[09:48] Sensei B**
That's great.
**[09:49] Sensei B**
What does it look like?
**[09:53] Sensei A**
What is this?!
**[09:54] Olivia**
Cookies.
**[09:55] Agrippa**
I think they'll be delicious.
**[09:56] Agrippa**
Try it.
**[10:04] Sensei A**
Hey, it just tastes like a normal cookie.
**[10:07] Sensei A**
It has an utterly normal texture
and an absolutely normal flavor.
**[10:11] Sensei A**
Normal.
**[10:13] Sensei B**
*Sensei's expectations were so low that*
**[10:15] Sensei B**
* he's acting like he had the*
* ultimate dish even though*
**[10:17] Sensei B**
*all he's saying is that it's normal.*
**[10:18] Olivia**
We're thinking of selling
these at the cultural fair.
**[10:21] Agrippa**
What do you think?
**[10:22] Sensei A**
I think it'd be good.
**[10:24] Sensei A**
Kids would probably love these designs.
**[10:27] Sensei A**
More than anything, it tasted
normal. It was great.
**[10:32] Olivia**
Good for us, Agrippa.
**[10:34] Agrippa**
Yeah.
**[10:35] Agrippa**
Maybe Grandma's magic essence worked.
**[10:39] Agrippa**
Thank you, Grandma.
**[10:41] Grandma**
I'll be waiting at Walpurgis Night.
**[10:54] Sensei A**
Cookies...
**[10:56] Sensei A**
I want those cookies...
**[11:00] Sensei A**
Cookies...
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Face of Mass Destruction
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[11:16] Hanako**
How are we going to get approval
for our cultural fair movie?
**[11:20] Olivia**
Oh yeah, we never got to
meet the vice president.
**[11:23] Hanako**
What was she even like, anyway?
**[11:24] Kasumi**
I think she made a speech
when she took office.
**[11:27] Hanako**
I was asleep standing. I don't remember.
**[11:29] Kasumi**
She seemed really proper.
**[11:31] Hanako**
Like the president?
**[11:32] Kasumi**
Yeah, yeah.
**[11:33] Kasumi**
She had the same kind of
vibe as the president.
**[11:35] VP**
President!
**[11:37] VP**
I'm headed to Opposite-san again.
**[11:43] Sensei C**
I'd like to speak to you about the posters.
**[11:46] President**
Wh-What about them?
***SIGN*** 53rd Cultural Festival
**[11:48] Sensei C**
Is it true that this is the final version?
**[11:51] President**
Th-The art club says this
is all they could draw.
**[11:54] President**
So, they've taken on surrealist influences...
**[11:57] President**
It's a deconstruction of
the concept of humanity
**[11:59] President**
and a prayer for lasting peace on Earth.
**[12:01] Sensei C**
Have them redo it.
**[12:03] President**
Why?!
**[12:04] Sensei C**
Why?
**[12:05] Sensei C**
Make it something a little
less controversial.
**[12:09] President**
*I have to negotiate with* them *again?*
***SIGN*** Art Club - Them
**[12:14] President**
*This is making me depressed.*
**[12:15] Sensei C**
Say, where's the vice president?
**[12:17] President**
*She was just here.*
**[12:20] President**
Um...
**[12:22] VP**
What is it?
**[12:23] VP**
I've been here the whole time.
**[12:25] Sensei C**
Uh, why are you drenched
every time I see you?
**[12:29] VP**
I like dumping water on myself.
**[12:30] Sensei C**
Are you making good progress on your
meetings with the boys' school?
**[12:34] Sensei C**
There hasn't been a single report.
**[12:35] VP**
All is going well.
**[12:37] Sensei C**
I'll be leaving, then.
**[12:38] Sensei C**
Please take care of the poster.
**[12:40] President**
Okay.
**[12:43] President**
You know, you're always impeccable
when you go to Opposite-san,
**[12:44] VP**
I have to put my makeup back on quick!
**[12:48] President**
but you really don't need to go that far.
**[12:50] President**
Makeup is mostly banned
at our school, after all.
**[12:54] VP**
Are you serious, President?
**[12:55] VP**
Are you telling me to show
myself to boys without makeup?
**[12:58] VP**
That's the same thing as telling boys
to walk around with their wangs out.
**[13:03] President**
* That analogy would mean that your face*
* without makeup is equal to a p*nis.*
**[13:08] President**
No, I don't think it's really that obscene.
**[13:12] VP**
That's not the point.
**[13:13] VP**
The point is that it's bad etiquette.
**[13:16] VP**
I've only ever shown them
my face with clothes on.
**[13:19] VP**
I can't show them my naked face now.
**[13:22] VP**
Understand?
**[13:23] President**
Uh-huh.
**[13:24] President**
*Well, whatever.*
**[13:26] President**
Anyway, I'm going to take this poster
to the art club to negotiate.
**[13:30] President**
I'll leave the rest to you.
**[13:31] VP**
Okay.
**[13:36] VP**
What's up, President?
**[13:37] VP**
Forget something?
**[13:38] Hanako**
Pardon me, we're here to
make our request once more.
**[13:41] VP**
Sure, sure.
**[13:43] VP**
*Shit, a dude!*
**[13:44] VP**
What is it?
**[13:45] Hanako**
Where's the president?
**[13:47] VP**
*I guess I'll just do half my face for now.*
**[13:49] VP**
The president's not in right now.
**[13:51] VP**
As the vice president, I'll
take your inquiries for now.
**[13:53] Hanako**
Vice president?
**[13:54] Hanako**
* Huh? She isn't quite like how*
* Kasumi-san described her.*
**[13:57] Hanako**
U-Um...
**[13:58] Hanako**
We'd like to show a movie
for the cultural festival.
**[14:00] Hanako**
We're here for permission.
**[14:01] VP**
Oh, the Pastimers Club?
**[14:03] VP**
I'm sorry, the president watched the edited
video, but she said it's still a no.
**[14:07] Hanako**
In that case, Maeda will grovel
in my place, so please.
**[14:13] Maeda**
Uh, Hanako-sama, that's...
**[14:15] Hanako**
I'm begging you!
**[14:16] Hanako**
I've begged a ton of times already!
**[14:19] Hanako**
What difference does it make for
you to tip your cheap head?
**[14:22] Hanako**
Come on, grovel on all fours!
**[14:23] Maeda**
U-Understood.
**[14:25] Maeda**
If that is your wish, Hanako-sama.
**[14:27] VP**
*What the... Seriously?*
**[14:28] Maeda**
Miss Vice President, I beg of you!
**[14:40] Maeda**
Hey, Hanako-sama...
**[14:42] Maeda**
I apologize, for my buttocks have torn.
**[14:46] Hanako**
O-Okay.
**[14:47] Hanako**
That's pretty bad if your
butt gets torn, right?
**[14:49] VP**
Um, er...
**[14:50] Hanako**
Okay, why don't you grovel again,
**[14:54] Hanako**
this time to apologize to the
door you made a hole in?
**[14:55] Maeda**
Yes, ma'am.
**[14:56] VP**
Wait, not that angle.
**[14:59] VP**
Seriously, go away.
**[15:00] VP**
*What the hell? It's so breezy.*
**[15:04] VP**
* Whatever, I need to stop*
* thinking and finish my makeup.*
**[15:09] Olivia**
Um...
**[15:10] Olivia**
I'm with the Pastimers Club.
**[15:12] VP**
*The Pastimers Club again?!*
**[15:13] Olivia**
M-My brother will explain.
**[15:16] VP**
*This girl's brother?!*
**[15:18] VP**
Come in.
**[15:21] Olivia**
Huh? Her face changed on a dime.
**[15:23] Olivia**
My mood right now is
overwhelmingly this side.
**[15:26] Olivia**
O-Onii-chan, prove her wrong!
**[15:30] Oniichan**
Leave this to me.
**[15:32] Oniichan**
I come with a wish to see this here
Olivia's film granted approval.
**[15:37] Oniichan**
This movie...
**[15:38] Oniichan**
may, at first glance, appear to present
itself as a lofty creed of faith,
**[15:41] Oniichan**
but this is not the case.
**[15:42] Oniichan**
It is but a collection of clichés from
Hollywood's popular entertainment —
**[15:46] Oniichan**
an amalgamation of myriad pastiches —
**[15:49] Oniichan**
a passage, in Benjamin's terms.
**[15:51] Oniichan**
The depictions of brutality
and chaos are, in this sense,
**[15:54] Oniichan**
most appropriately described as
a "flirtation with tokenism,"
**[15:59] Oniichan**
devoid of any of its original deviance.
**[16:00] Oniichan**
Indeed, film was, fundamentally,
a parody of reality —
**[16:01] Oniichan**
a mimesis of mimesis, which,
as its primary function,
**[16:04] Oniichan**
sought to actively rid itself of meaning.
**[16:05] Oniichan**
Therefore, by this argument,
film is best understood as a
**[16:07] Oniichan**
descendant of the bread-and-circus
entertainment of ancient Rome,
**[16:09] Oniichan**
wherein an evaluation based
on its educational merit
**[16:10] Olivia**
Wow!
**[16:11] VP**
Sorry, the VP is stupid.
I totally don't get it.
**[16:11] Oniichan**
is antithetical to its fundamental being,
**[16:13] Oniichan**
rendering it a caricature
of itself, but alas,
**[16:14] Oniichan**
the school council president's
deliberation...
**[16:16] Girl A**
I'm pretty sure I cut my bangs too short.
**[16:19] Girl B**
I think you look fine.
**[16:21] Guy A**
Hey.
**[16:22] Girl B**
Whoa, that was the Opposite-san
school council president.
**[16:26] Girl A**
He's so hot!
**[16:28] Guy A**
* My beautiful vice president,*
* forgive me, I'm here unannounced.*
**[16:33] VP**
* Jeez, they flustered me, and now*
* I messed up the right half.*
**[16:38] VP**
*It's all the Pastimers Club's fault.*
**[16:41] VP**
*Guess I'll fix it up in the washroom.*
**[16:43] Guy A**
Hey, I snuck in to see you.
**[16:58] VP**
I'm sorry, a pretty girl's got a lot of faces.
**[17:03] VP**
*Now, then, what should I do?*
**[17:07] Hanako**
It doesn't work when it's
just one of us at a time.
**[17:10] Hanako**
Let's all go together.
**[17:11] Olivia**
Onii-chan did his best, but...
**[17:13] VP**
*Give me a break!*
**[17:15] Hanako**
Huh?
**[17:16] Hanako**
Vice President?
**[17:17] Hanako**
Where'd she go?
**[17:19] Hanako**
She was here a minute ago.
**[17:24] Olivia**
What should we do?
**[17:25] Hanako**
Want to come back later?
**[17:27] Kasumi**
This desk takes me back.
**[17:31] Kasumi**
We hid under that desk when
we came here last time.
**[17:35] Kasumi**
Are the three of us from back
then still under the table?
**[17:38] Kasumi**
Just kidding.
**[17:42] Hanako**
Let's come back later, then.
**[17:45] Hanako**
What's up, Kasumi-san?
**[17:48] Kasumi**
There's a corpse under the desk.
**[17:50] Hanako**
It's true!
**[17:52] Olivia**
Oh my God, that's scary!
**[17:53] VP**
*They found him already.*
**[17:56] Hanako**
We brought him out here, but...
**[17:58] Maeda**
I did indeed.
**[17:59] Hanako**
What do we do now?
**[18:00] Kasumi**
Th-The cops!
**[18:02] Olivia**
The cops?
**[18:03] Olivia**
We touched him all over.
**[18:04] Olivia**
Are we safe?
**[18:06] Hanako**
Is it a crime to mess up a crime scene?
**[18:09] Kasumi**
But it was so sudden...
**[18:11] Kasumi**
Wait, did you two notice when you came here?
**[18:13] Olivia**
Not at all.
**[18:14] Olivia**
I only saw the vice president.
**[18:15] Hanako**
Where did it come from?
**[18:18] Olivia**
I think I know.
**[18:22] Olivia**
Wasn't there a shounen manga where they
buried a corpse in the school walls?
**[18:28] Kindaichi**
In the name of my grandpa!
**[18:30] Olivia**
Isn't that it?
**[18:31] Hanako**
I remember that!
**[18:32] Hanako**
It was super scary!
**[18:33] Olivia**
It was, right?
**[18:34] Olivia**
It was super scary!
**[18:35] Kasumi**
The earlier chapters were so scary.
**[18:38] VP**
*That's such a BS theory.*
**[18:40] Kasumi**
So let's just say this
came out of the walls.
**[18:43] Hanako**
Yeah, that's probably definitely
not it, but whatever.
**[18:47] VP**
*That's it?*
**[18:48] VP**
*Have these girls shut their brains off?!*
**[18:50] Kasumi**
So then...
**[18:52] Kasumi**
The vice president was right
here... Where is she?
**[18:55] Kasumi**
Staaaare...
**[18:56] VP**
Do I have to solve it again?
**[19:00] Olivia**
She's around here somewhere, maybe?
**[19:01] Kasumi**
I see.
**[19:02] Hanako**
Okay, let's find the vice president, then.
**[19:04] Olivia**
Okay.
**[19:05] Kasumi**
Yes.
**[19:05] VP**
* Please, God, protect me*
* from these dumbasses!*
**[19:08] VP**
*Oh, that's...*
**[19:10] VP**
*the president's face mask!*
**[19:13] VP**
*Thank you, President!*
***SIGN*** Gyark!
**[19:20] Hanako**
What's wrong, Kasumi-san?
**[19:21] Olivia**
Did you find the vice president?
**[19:23] Kasumi**
Mask!
**[19:23] Kasumi**
Mask!
**[19:24] Kasumi**
M-Mask!
**[19:26] VP**
You got me!
**[19:27] VP**
Am I, like, MK5 right now?
***SIGN*** MK5
(5 seconds before I seriously end up in the slammer)
**[19:32] Hanako**
*What language is that?*
**[19:33] Olivia**
Why are your eyes different sizes?
**[19:36] VP**
* She asked that so honestly,*
* it actually stung the most.*
**[19:39] Hanako**
Guys, that must be the murderer.
**[19:41] Hanako**
Let's catch her ourselves.
**[19:43] Hanako**
The vice president probably
isn't alive anymore.
**[19:46] Hanako**
I'll go from the front.
**[19:47] Hanako**
Olivia, you take right.
**[19:48] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, left.
**[19:49] Olivia**
Okay.
**[19:50] Kasumi**
Got it.
**[19:51] Hanako**
All right.
**[19:53] Hanako**
Charge!
**[19:55] Hanako**
Why are we all going from the front?!
**[19:57] Kasumi**
I got nervous and made a mistake!
**[19:58] Olivia**
I wasn't paying attention to you, Hanako.
**[20:00] Hanako**
You weren't paying attention?!
**[20:01] Olivia**
Get her!
**[20:04] Kasumi**
I'm sorry.
**[20:10] Hanako**
Stop panting over there, damn it!
**[20:14] Oniichan**
Raw middle-schoolers embracing...
**[20:16] Oniichan**
What a sight.
**[20:17] Oniichan**
Thank my lucky stars.
**[20:20] VP**
President, help me!
**[20:23] President**
Yes? What is it?
**[20:25] President**
I could hear you from the hallway.
**[20:31] President**
*Hell on Earth.*
**[20:33] President**
What are you doing?
**[20:35] President**
Is this a new harassment tactic, Pastimers?
**[20:37] Hanako**
No, we're the victims here.
**[20:39] Olivia**
It took all our courage
to catch this murderer.
***SIGN*** She can kind of guess what happened
**[20:46] President**
Pastimers Club, please let go of her.
**[20:51] President**
And I'll allow the movie.
**[20:54] President**
Please keep what happened a secret.
**[20:59] Hanako**
Okay!
**[21:00] President**
Also, never come back.
**[21:01] Hanako**
Roger that!
**[21:02] Hanako**
Yay!
**[21:03] Kasumi**
Yay for us!
**[21:04] Hanako**
You just have to keep trying!
**[21:09] President**
What just touched me?
**[21:13] President**
*Do I have to deal with this?*
**[21:17] VP**
U-Um...
**[21:19] VP**
President...
**[21:20] President**
Stay calm.
**[21:21] President**
Where should we bury it?
**[21:23] President**
Is there a lake nearby?
**[21:25] VP**
No, he's alive.
**[21:27] VP**
Stuff happened.
**[21:29] President**
Oh, I see.
**[21:31] President**
Well, in that case...
**[21:38] VP**
Are you up?
**[21:39] Guy A**
Huh? I...
**[21:40] VP**
Jeez, you just randomly collapsed.
**[21:42] VP**
I got so worried.
**[21:44] Guy A**
Randomly?
**[21:44] Guy A**
I feel like I just got kneed in the gut.
**[21:47] VP**
You hit your gut against the
table when you collapsed.
**[21:50] Guy A**
And that monster?
**[21:52] VP**
What are you talking about?
**[21:53] VP**
There's no such thing.
**[21:55] Guy A**
No, it had the same hairstyle you did,
but it had the face of a monster.
**[21:58] Guy A**
Such an abomination can't be
allowed to exist in our world.
**[22:03] VP**
*I told you to make something up!*
**[22:05] N**
*It took a while before he escaped the loop.*
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
# 12 - Daniel | Bra Meeting | Fairy Tale Battle Royale | Paper Wars
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/G6MEG24VR/asobi-asobase---workshop-of-fun--)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
***SIGN*** Daniel
**[01:33] Sensei**
Ta-da.
**[01:34] Sensei**
Look, isn't he adorable?
**[01:37] Hanako**
Sensei, when did you have a baby?
**[01:40] Kasumi**
C-Congratulations.
**[01:41] Sensei**
No, no.
**[01:42] Sensei**
This is my friend's baby.
**[01:45] Sensei**
I actually used to go to
this school, you know.
**[01:47] Hanako**
Really? I never knew.
**[01:48] Olivia**
Were the uniforms the same back in your day?
**[01:51] Sensei**
They were.
**[01:52] Sensei**
So my friend was in the pro wrestling
circle, and she came to say hi,
**[01:57] Sensei**
so I'm taking care of her
baby in the meantime.
**[02:00] Hanako**
She should have brought him.
**[02:01] Hanako**
Wouldn't the current members appreciate it?
**[02:03] Sensei**
She said it might be too
stimulating for the baby.
**[02:06] Hanako**
Hey, Sensei, I want to try holding him.
**[02:09] Sensei**
Are you used to taking
care of babies, Honda-san?
**[02:11] Hanako**
I used to hold my brother.
**[02:14] Sensei**
Really? Okay.
**[02:18] Hanako**
He smells so good!
**[02:20] Hanako**
The aroma of a mother's milk and pee, oh my!
**[02:25] Hanako**
I feel like I'm going to get high.
**[02:27] Olivia**
Are you sure there isn't
a better way to say that?
**[02:29] Hanako**
What's the problem? The baby's happy, too.
**[02:32] PA**
Higuchi-sensei, please come to
the staff office immediately.
**[02:35] Sensei**
Oh, dear, what should I do?
**[02:37] Hanako**
We'll watch the baby. You go ahead.
**[02:40] Sensei**
But...
**[02:40] Olivia**
Hanako does seem used to it.
**[02:42] Sensei**
I'm a bit worried, though.
**[02:45] Sensei**
I guess I could take him to my friend
before I go to the staff office.
**[02:48] Hanako**
He doesn't like it, Sensei.
**[02:50] Sensei**
You're right.
**[02:52] Sensei**
I'll be right back. Please take care of him.
**[02:55] Hanako**
Sure.
**[03:00] Hanako**
Why is he crying all of a sudden?!
**[03:02] Olivia**
I don't know. He was happy
until just a moment ago.
**[03:05] Hanako**
He's grabbing Kasumi-san's necktie!
**[03:06] Hanako**
He wants you to hold him!
**[03:09] Kasumi**
O-Okay, over here.
**[03:13] Hanako**
He stopped crying.
**[03:14] Hanako**
You like Kasumi? What an old geezer.
**[03:19] Hanako**
He's squeezing your boobs!
**[03:21] Kasumi**
Well, he's a baby.
**[03:22] Kasumi**
S-Sorry, I don't have any
plans for producing milk yet.
**[03:31] Kasumi**
This kid's pretending to want
milk, but look at his face,
**[03:33] Kasumi**
he totally just wants to
play with your boobies!
**[03:36] Kasumi**
You pervy brat!
**[03:37] Kasumi**
Disgusting!
**[03:38] Olivia**
A baby's not going to be thinking like that.
**[03:40] Hanako**
No, this one is!
**[03:41] Kasumi**
Okay, why don't you try holding him, then?
**[03:46] Hanako**
He smells so good!
**[03:48] Baby**
Flat.
**[03:50] Hanako**
He talked!
**[03:51] Hanako**
And I feel like he just insulted me!
**[03:53] Olivia**
No way, he couldn't have.
**[03:55] Kasumi**
He's a baby.
**[03:57] Olivia**
Hey, I want to hold him, too.
**[03:59] ---**
Here.
**[04:04] Olivia**
He's so cute!
**[04:05] Olivia**
So pudgy!
**[04:08] Baby**
Spicy!
**[04:09] Kasumi**
What?!
**[04:10] Hanako**
He definitely spoke just now!
**[04:12] Hanako**
Those were vicious words, too!
**[04:14] Olivia**
W-Well, I mean, he's a baby.
**[04:17] Olivia**
Here.
**[04:17] Hanako**
* That's not reassuring*
* when you say it shaking.*
**[04:19] Kasumi**
Why don't we put him down somewhere?
**[04:22] Hanako**
Yeah, I have a bad feeling
about holding him for too long.
**[04:29] Hanako**
He's like...
**[04:31] Hanako**
He seems kind of cocky, don't you think?
**[04:33] Kasumi**
Maybe he's not holding his head up.
**[04:35] Hanako**
Is it safe to put him on a chair
when his head's not being held up?
**[04:40] Hanako**
There's something menacing about him.
**[04:42] Kasumi**
Maybe he wants something to suckle on.
**[04:45] Olivia**
Oh yeah, there was a bag full
of baby stuff on Sensei's desk.
**[04:49] Olivia**
I wonder if she has something.
**[04:52] Olivia**
Pacifier!
**[04:54] Kasumi**
Why don't you give that to the baby?
**[04:58] Olivia**
Here you go.
**[04:59] Olivia**
He's so cute!
**[05:01] Kasumi**
He's really just a baby.
**[05:08] Hanako**
Dude, this kid's a mafia don!
**[05:10] Hanako**
This kid's weird!
**[05:12] Hanako**
Do you think he might have
memories from his past life?
**[05:14] Kasumi**
N-No way.
**[05:15] Kasumi**
He's a baby, after all.
**[05:16] Hanako**
I'm sick of hearing that!
**[05:19] Kasumi**
I think he's hot.
**[05:21] Olivia**
Oh, yeah.
**[05:23] Olivia**
Ta-da.
**[05:23] Olivia**
Mini fan.
**[05:25] Olivia**
I snuck it in from home.
**[05:27] Kasumi**
Let's turn it on and cool him off.
**[05:32] Olivia**
How's that? Nice and cool?
**[05:34] Olivia**
He's liking it.
**[05:36] Hanako**
Hey, what else is in this bag?
**[05:40] Olivia**
Wait, I want to see.
**[05:41] Hanako**
Huh? What's this white powder?
**[05:44] Olivia**
Cold medicine or something, maybe?
**[05:46] Hanako**
Are babies supposed to take
antibiotics and stuff?
**[05:49] Hanako**
It says something on it.
**[05:51] Hanako**
You there, baby, what are you doing?!
**[05:56] Hanako**
It's pulling me in!
**[05:58] Olivia**
Wait, Hanako-san, don't go that way!
**[06:00] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, the switch!
**[06:01] Hanako**
Press the stop button!
**[06:03] Kasumi**
O-Okay!
**[06:04] Kasumi**
Um, the baby's playing on top of
the switch with a giant smile.
**[06:07] Hanako**
Just move that creature out of the way!
**[06:11] Hanako**
Help me!
**[06:12] Hanako**
Hanako!
**[06:19] Hanako**
He's legit trying to kill me!
**[06:21] Kasumi**
Stay back, it's dangerous.
**[06:23] Hanako**
Press the stop button before
you hold that damn flesh blob!
**[06:27] Kasumi**
H-Hold on, my hands are full.
**[06:30] Hanako**
Are you mental?!
**[06:37] Hanako**
It's over...
**[06:43] Hanako**
I'm safe?
**[06:44] Hanako**
Kasumi's leg!
**[06:48] Olivia**
You tugged on the cable.
**[06:50] Kasumi**
Oh, you're right.
**[06:51] Hanako**
You could have done that sooner.
**[06:53] Sensei**
Sorry, guys, was everything okay?
**[06:57] Sensei**
Oh, good, he's happy.
**[06:59] Mom**
Sorry for the trouble, everyone.
**[07:02] Hanako**
It's fine.
**[07:04] Hanako**
Hm? You like the ladies?
**[07:06] Hanako**
He doesn't usually like anyone besides me.
**[07:09] Kasumi**
Oh, really?
**[07:11] Hanako**
I'm absolutely honored.
**[07:12] Olivia**
Yay, I'm so happy.
**[07:14] Baby**
Oh
**[07:16] Baby**
yay.
**[07:17] Baby**
Oh
**[07:18] Baby**
boy.
**[07:20] Baby**
I
**[07:20] Baby**
found
**[07:21] Baby**
my
**[07:22] Baby**
self
**[07:24] Baby**
a
**[07:25] Baby**
brand
**[07:26] Baby**
new
**[07:28] Baby**
toy.
**[07:29] Mom**
Look at him giggle.
**[07:31] Mom**
He's so happy.
**[07:32] Hanako**
Is it just me, or was he saying something?
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Bra Meeting
**[07:41] Olivia**
It was so hot.
**[07:44] Hanako**
Why do we need to get hit
by freak weather on PE day?
**[07:48] Olivia**
I know, it's so sweaty and gross.
**[07:51] Hanako**
My sports bra is all sticky, too.
**[07:53] Olivia**
Take it off.
**[07:54] Hanako**
Are you serious?
**[07:55] Hanako**
They'll sag if I do.
**[07:57] Olivia**
They aren't big enough to sag. Don't worry.
**[07:59] Hanako**
How would you kn—
**[08:09] Hanako**
Kasumi-shan...
**[08:10] Kasumi**
What is it?
**[08:11] Hanako**
Y-Your bra-sama is f-f-fantastic.
**[08:18] Kasumi**
Th-Th-This was the only style
I could find in my size.
**[08:23] Hanako**
"This was the only style
I could find in my size"?
**[08:31] Hanako**
Say what?
**[08:32] Olivia**
*Here we go again.*
**[08:33] Hanako**
That's the kind of excuse boys
make when they say their moms
**[08:37] Hanako**
would only buy them certain trunks.
**[08:40] Kasumi**
Huh? What kind of analogy is that?
**[08:42] Kasumi**
I don't get it at all.
**[08:44] Kasumi**
*I should get changed fast.*
**[08:46] Kasumi**
I swear, it's true!
**[08:48] Kasumi**
I'd want to choose from more
designs if I could, too!
**[08:51] Hanako**
You'd never know what it feels
like to be a have-not, Kasumi-san.
**[08:57] Kasumi**
N-No, well...
**[08:58] Kasumi**
I always wonder how much fun it would be
**[09:02] Kasumi**
to choose from lots of different
designs like you can, Hanako-san.
**[09:06] Kasumi**
There are more cute designs for smaller bras.
**[09:12] Hanako**
Tell me more!
**[09:14] Olivia**
Put your clothes on, Hanako.
**[09:15] N**
*And then what happened?*
***SIGN*** Pastimers Club
**[09:17] Hanako**
I've only ever worn sports bras until now.
**[09:20] Hanako**
It's finally time to make my real bra debut!
**[09:24] Hanako**
So what kind of bra are you wearing, Olivia?
**[09:26] Olivia**
Want to see?
**[09:28] Olivia**
You climb the stairs to adulthood...
**[09:31] Olivia**
...but...
**[09:32] Olivia**
...you're still a Cinderella.
**[09:33] Kasumi**
Uh...
**[09:34] Kasumi**
Okay, here's a bra website, then.
**[09:36] Hanako**
Sure, I shall take a look.
***SIGN*** New
***SIGN*** Cleavage - Wire Free Premium
**[09:40] Hanako**
There's more to them than
a lot of outfits, right?
**[09:43] Olivia**
I know.
**[09:44] Olivia**
Lace is so delicate.
**[09:45] Olivia**
Some of them even have shape memory.
**[09:47] Hanako**
It's the future.
**[09:48] Hanako**
This one's cute!
**[09:49] Hanako**
Can I click on it?
**[09:50] Kasumi**
Wait, before that, you should
probably measure your bust size.
**[09:55] Hanako**
I always buy small sports bras.
**[09:57] Kasumi**
Bras are more specific.
**[09:59] Kasumi**
You need to measure in centimeters.
**[10:01] Hanako**
I secretly measured at night,
and it was 74 centimeters.
**[10:05] Hanako**
I'll click A 75.
**[10:07] Kasumi**
Wait, wait.
**[10:08] Kasumi**
Which 74 centimeters is that 74 centimeters?
**[10:11] Hanako**
My breasts.
**[10:14] Kasumi**
Oh, we need to measure your band size.
**[10:16] ---**
What do you mean "band size"?
**[10:17] Hanako**
The A 75 means 75 centimeters band.
**[10:23] Kasumi**
It looks something like this.
***SIGN*** Bust
Band
**[10:25] Kasumi**
The ratio between the top and
under determines your cup size.
**[10:28] Hanako**
Is that math?
**[10:28] Kasumi**
It's not math.
**[10:29] Hanako**
Wait, that's so complicated.
**[10:31] Kasumi**
No, it's fine.
**[10:32] Kasumi**
It's easy if you measure it out.
**[10:35] Kasumi**
I'm going to measure from over your bra.
**[10:37] Hanako**
*Huh?*
**[10:38] ---**
*Come to think of it...*
**[10:40] Person A**
* I have a marshmallow body measuring*
* bust 85, waist 60, hip 88.*
**[10:45] (Flashback) Maeda**
Bust 85...
**[10:47] (Flashback) Maeda**
That's a C cup.
**[10:48] (Flashback) Hanako**
How do you know that?
**[10:50] (Flashback) Maeda**
An 85 is about this big.
**[10:52] (Flashback) Maeda**
The left hand just sits there.
**[10:54] (Flashback) Hanako**
Could you please stop with the hand motions?!
**[10:56] (Flashback) Maeda**
It's an assessment based
on a big data dataset.
**[10:58] (Flashback) Maeda**
An 85 is a C.
**[11:00] (Flashback) Hanako**
I-I see.
**[11:02] (Flashback) Hanako**
Then what about a bust 96?
**[11:04] (Flashback) Grandpa**
Bust 96, you say?
**[11:06] (Flashback) Hanako**
Please don't come joining in, Grandpa.
**[11:09] (Flashback) Grandpa**
Bust 96 should be...
**[11:11] (Flashback) Grandpa**
Something like this, which makes it an F cup.
**[11:14] (Flashback) Hanako**
Seriously, stop it with the hands!
**[11:16] (Flashback) Grandpa**
Jackie was making the same
motions in *Shaolin Wooden Men*.
**[11:20] (Flashback) Hanako**
No he wasn't!
**[11:20] (Flashback) Hanako**
I never saw that!
**[11:22] Hanako**
*Wait, so what was that?*
**[11:26] Kasumi**
Hey, I'm done measuring.
**[11:28] Hanako**
How was it?
**[11:29] Kasumi**
Let's see, you have a band
size of 68 and a bust of 75.
**[11:35] Hanako**
Bust 75?!
**[11:37] Hanako**
I grew a centimeter!
**[11:39] Olivia**
Congrats!
**[11:40] Hanako**
Does that mean I have a B cup?
**[11:42] Hanako**
Am I climbing the B ladder?
**[11:44] Kasumi**
Let's see...
**[11:45] Kasumi**
Oh, you're an AA cup.
**[11:50] Kasumi**
Wait, maybe I'm an AA
between an A and B, right?
**[11:54] Kasumi**
Yay!
**[11:55] Kasumi**
Uh, I have to go to the bathroom.
**[11:57] Olivia**
Don't run away, Kasumi.
**[11:59] Olivia**
You have to tell her the truth.
**[12:03] Kasumi**
It's smaller than an A.
**[12:06] Hanako**
*I had a feeling.*
**[12:09] Hanako**
Why?
**[12:10] Hanako**
Did I do something wrong?
**[12:13] Kasumi**
You did nothing wrong.
**[12:14] Hanako**
Why then has God reduced my size so?!
**[12:18] Olivia**
Hanako...
**[12:19] Hanako**
Olivia...
**[12:20] Olivia**
Maybe you were imagining things
when you thought you were an A.
**[12:24] Olivia**
Like one of those people
who thinks they're a wizard
**[12:26] Olivia**
because they're receiving some
kind of signal from the sky.
**[12:29] Kasumi**
Hanako-san!
**[12:31] Hanako**
Let me go!
**[12:32] Hanako**
I'm going to enroll at the boys' school!
**[12:34] Kasumi**
Calm down!
**[12:37] Hanako**
Give me your flesh!
**[12:38] Kasumi**
Hanako?!
**[12:40] Kasumi**
All right, here goes the suction!
**[12:42] Kasumi**
Liposuction of the breasts!
**[12:44] Olivia**
Hanako's broken!
**[12:52] Olivia**
Wh-What's wrong?
**[12:55] Hanako**
I choked...
**[12:56] Hanako**
Stuff came out.
**[12:57] Olivia**
What stuff?
**[12:58] Hanako**
I think I've angered the boob gods.
**[13:02] Hanako**
I'm sorry, please don't take
any more boob away from me.
**[13:08] Kasumi**
Hanako-san, it's okay.
**[13:10] Kasumi**
On behalf of the boob gods, I forgive you.
**[13:15] Hanako**
I...
**[13:16] Hanako**
I...
**[13:17] Hanako**
I ask for the graces of the boob gods.
**[13:21] Olivia**
* I don't know how they're managing*
* to hold a conversation,*
**[13:23] Olivia**
* but what's this "boob god"*
* that came out of nowhere?*
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
**[13:27] [SONG] Text**
Fairy Tale Battle Royale
**[13:33] Olivia**
Damn it!
**[13:34] Olivia**
Take this, damn it!
**[13:36] Hanako**
What're you doing, Olivia?
**[13:37] Olivia**
This game that was developed in my
country is popular in Japan right now.
**[13:41] Hanako**
It must be a weird one, then.
**[13:42] Olivia**
Ouch, but it's so cute.
***SIGN*** Let's play together!
***SIGN*** Fairy Tale Hell
***SIGN*** Fairy Tale Hell.
**[13:48] Hanako**
What the? It's so cute!
**[13:50] Kasumi**
Oh, yeah.
**[13:51] Kasumi**
It looks fun.
**[13:52] Olivia**
Let's play it together, then.
**[13:54] Olivia**
I've been playing solo all this time, and
I've been waiting to play team games.
**[13:58] Hanako**
Yay!
**[13:59] Olivia**
You can download it from the Pineapple Store.
**[14:01] Hanako**
Right.
**[14:02] Hanako**
The Pineapple store. Sure.
**[14:03] Kasumi**
Uh...
**[14:04] Kasumi**
I have an old school phone.
**[14:06] Olivia**
You can play on PC, too.
**[14:07] Olivia**
You should play on your laptop.
**[14:09] Hanako**
All right, I downloaded it.
**[14:11] Hanako**
Let's start!
**[14:12] Thing**
*Welcome to Fairy Tale Hell!*
**[14:14] Thing**
*Select a character.*
***SIGN*** Name: Kitty-chan
***SIGN*** Abilities: Good with hands
***SIGN*** Character Select
***SIGN*** Select
***SIGN*** I'm good with my hands
***SIGN*** Name: Doggo-chan
***SIGN*** Abilities: Fast runner
***SIGN*** I'm a fast runner
***SIGN*** Name: Bunny-chan
***SIGN*** Abilities: Good jumper
***SIGN*** I'm a good jumper
***SIGN*** Name: Froggy-san
***SIGN*** Abilities: Good vision
***SIGN*** I have good vision
***SIGN*** Abilities: Strong
***SIGN*** Name: Teddy-chan
***SIGN*** I'm strong
***SIGN*** Name: Fox-chan
***SIGN*** Abilities: Awful personality
***SIGN*** I have an awful personality
**[14:26] Hanako**
Who are you playing, Olivia?
**[14:27] Olivia**
I'm Bunny-chan.
**[14:28] Hanako**
I'll play Kitty-chan, then.
**[14:30] Kasumi**
I'll play Doggo-chan.
***SIGN*** Oden | Lollipop | Flowers | Drink Crayon | Cake | Donuts | Candy
**[14:31] Voice**
*Choose an item.*
**[14:33] Hanako**
They're all so cute.
**[14:34] Hanako**
What should I choose?
**[14:35] Kasumi**
Why are they all sideways?
**[14:37] Olivia**
Oden's useful.
**[14:38] Kasumi**
Is it?
**[14:40] Kasumi**
I'll go with that, then.
**[14:41] Hanako**
I'll take a lollipop.
**[14:42] Olivia**
Lollipops are good for beginners.
**[14:45] Voice**
*Choose a name for your team.*
**[14:46] Hanako**
A team name?
**[14:48] Olivia**
We might as well call it Pastimers Club.
**[14:50] Kasumi**
Okay, let's go with Pastimers Club.
**[14:52] Voice**
*Your team name is Pastimers Club.*
**[14:55] Voice**
*Is this right?*
**[14:56] Hanako**
This'll be fun!
**[14:58] Olivia**
Hey, we already got someone.
**[14:59] Hanako**
Got what?
**[15:00] Olivia**
Team HISHA wants to play with us.
**[15:03] Hanako**
You can play with other teams?
**[15:05] Olivia**
Sure you can.
**[15:06] Olivia**
That's the main part of the game, actually.
**[15:08] Hanako**
Okay, let's accept, then.
**[15:09] Olivia**
Okay.
**[15:10] Voice**
* Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,*
* four, three, two, one, start!*
**[15:12] Olivia**
The countdown's starting.
**[15:13] Olivia**
Are you ready, guys?
**[15:14] Hanako**
Okay.
**[15:15] Olivia**
I forgot to teach you the rules.
**[15:17] Olivia**
Oh, well, it's simple.
**[15:18] Olivia**
You can learn as you go.
**[15:19] Kasumi**
Got it.
***SIGN*** Start!
**[15:22] Hanako**
Kasumi-san, where are you?
**[15:24] Kasumi**
Over here.
**[15:25] Hanako**
Where's Olivia?
**[15:26] Olivia**
Here.
**[15:27] Olivia**
Here.
**[15:28] Hanako**
Why are you hiding there?
**[15:30] Kasumi**
I know.
**[15:31] Kasumi**
Let's go explore Fairy Land.
**[15:33] Olivia**
No, no.
**[15:33] Olivia**
You have to hide.
**[15:35] Hanako**
Come on, are you being squeamish
just because you're playing a bunny?
**[15:37] Olivia**
Stop it!
**[15:38] Olivia**
You need to hide, too, Hanako!
**[15:45] Olivia**
You're dead already.
**[15:47] Hanako**
Wait!
**[15:48] Hanako**
What's up with this game?!
**[15:49] Olivia**
Hurry up, you have to get treatment.
**[15:51] Hanako**
Why am I twitching?
**[15:52] Olivia**
You'll die if you don't eat
your lollipop within a minute.
***SIGN*** Inventory
**[15:55] Olivia**
You forgot to buy it.
**[15:57] Olivia**
You only have poo.
**[15:58] Hanako**
Somebody help me!
**[16:00] Olivia**
Bah, your character's screwed.
**[16:02] Olivia**
Well, you're dead.
**[16:06] Olivia**
Come on, Kasumi, you have to hide, too.
**[16:09] Hanako**
No way!
**[16:10] Hanako**
This game's too distasteful!
**[16:14] Olivia**
Kasumi!
**[16:15] ---**
I'm scared!
**[16:16] Olivia**
Don't run out in the open like that!
**[16:19] Kasumi**
I have no clue...
***SIGN*** Yay!
***SIGN*** Critical hit!
***SIGN*** You got to die without suffering!
**[16:31] Olivia**
I'm the only one left.
**[16:33] Olivia**
All three of them on the enemy
team are probably alive.
**[16:36] Olivia**
I think they shot at us from this way.
**[16:40] Olivia**
I knew it, they're after me!
***SIGN*** The first player to make it to the "Hill of Hope"
***SIGN*** gets the special weapon "Anthrax"!
**[16:48] Olivia**
I got a quest.
**[16:50] Olivia**
I don't know...
**[16:51] Olivia**
Let's crawl through the flower fields.
***SIGN*** You triggered a flower field landmine.
Watch out for flowers with different colors!
**[17:01] Olivia**
I lost!
**[17:03] Olivia**
The enemy team's so good.
**[17:06] Olivia**
All right, let's go for round two!
**[17:09] Hanako**
No, I'm good.
**[17:10] Kasumi**
Me, too.
**[17:11] Olivia**
Why? We're just getting started.
**[17:14] Hanako**
I'm traumatized.
**[17:16] Kasumi**
I'm going to have nightmares.
**[17:19] Olivia**
Hey, I got a message.
**[17:21] Olivia**
It's from the HISHA people we just played.
**[17:23] Olivia**
"ez. git gud, noobs."
**[17:26] Olivia**
I'll tell them, "It's our first day playing."
**[17:29] Olivia**
It's best to just ignore these messages.
**[17:31] Olivia**
More messages.
**[17:32] Olivia**
"It's too much fun wrecking Fairy
Talers in over their heads."
**[17:36] Olivia**
"That first cat was worse than a paramecium."
**[17:40] Olivia**
HISHA says they want to play again. Weird.
**[17:43] Hanako**
Bring it on!
**[17:44] Hanako**
I know how the game works, now.
**[17:46] Hanako**
I'll tear them to shreds!
**[17:47] Olivia**
Okay, buy lots of lollipops.
**[17:50] Olivia**
Donuts work as shields, so let's buy three.
**[17:51] Hanako**
But donuts have holes in the
middle... Is that safe?!
**[17:53] Olivia**
All right!
***SIGN*** Three, two, one, start!
***SIGN*** Start!
**[17:56] Olivia**
Here we go!
**[17:59] Olivia**
Wait, Hanako, what are you shooting at?
**[18:01] Hanako**
Wait, wait, I don't know the controls!
**[18:03] Hanako**
I can't stop!
**[18:04] Olivia**
You aren't hitting anyone!
**[18:06] Hanako**
Wait, I stopped.
**[18:07] Hanako**
Am I out of ammo?
**[18:10] Hanako**
I got hit first again!
**[18:12] Kasumi**
Hold on, I'll do something with the candy!
**[18:14] Olivia**
Kasumi, use your scope to find the enemy.
**[18:16] Kasumi**
H-How?
**[18:17] Olivia**
That chikuwa fish cake is your scope.
**[18:19] Kasumi**
Oh, I see.
**[18:20] Kasumi**
I think I saw them from over there.
**[18:22] Olivia**
Oh yeah, there's something there.
**[18:24] Kasumi**
But it's so small, I don't know what's what.
**[18:26] Olivia**
You can zoom in with your mouse wheel.
**[18:28] Kasumi**
Got it.
**[18:29] Kasumi**
Zoom...
**[18:31] Kasumi**
Gross!
**[18:32] Olivia**
They've totally ditched
short range for long range,
**[18:34] Olivia**
and they have a really good sniper
with the pervy Froggy-san!
**[18:38] Girl A**
They had the name Pastimers
Club, so I thought maybe...
**[18:42] Girl B**
I guess it really was the Pastimers Club.
**[18:44] Girl A**
They're so bad, too.
**[18:46] Girl A**
The president's fingers, though...
**[18:48] Girl B**
She's always impressive to see.
**[18:51] President**
It's been a long time since I've
lost my ability to play shogi.
**[18:55] President**
Enomoto, will I ever hold
a shogi piece again?
**[19:02] Girl A**
Please...
**[19:03] Girl A**
You'll get better.
I believe in you, President.
**[19:05] President**
This is all the Pastimers Club's fault.
**[19:10] President**
Revenge shall be mine.
**[19:15] President**
Time to checkmate and take
their King in this world, too.
**[19:20] Girl A**
Yes, President!
**[19:22] Olivia**
I lost again!
**[19:24] Olivia**
Their team is too good.
**[19:26] Olivia**
What to do?
**[19:27] Olivia**
HISHA wants to play again.
**[19:29] Olivia**
Want to play a third game?
**[19:29] Hanako**
I already deleted the app.
**[19:31] Hanako**
I'm good.
**[19:31] Kasumi**
Me, too.
***SIGN*** Asobi Asobase
***SIGN*** Paper Wars
***SIGN*** Paper Wars
***SIGN*** Rules Choose your territories on a large sheet of paper. Draw a princess in the center of each territory, and surround her with weapons (anything goes). If you convince your opponent that they don't stand a chance, you win!
**[19:43] Maeda**
Hanako-sama, I came only
to deliver an umbrella.
**[19:47] Maeda**
Is it acceptable that I've joined?
**[19:49] Hanako**
I wanted another player anyway.
**[19:51] Hanako**
Okay, then.
**[19:53] Hanako**
Let's start the game!
**[19:57] Olivia**
What's this?
**[19:58] Hanako**
It's a cannon!
**[19:59] Olivia**
Okay, next.
**[20:02] Hanako**
What's this?
**[20:04] Olivia**
A shield to protect me against the cannon.
**[20:06] Olivia**
It can protect against anything.
**[20:08] Hanako**
I see.
**[20:09] Hanako**
You're starting strong.
**[20:11] Maeda**
Okay, I'm next.
**[20:14] Hanako**
What's that creepy shit?!
**[20:15] Maeda**
Th-This is the most powerful monster.
**[20:18] Maeda**
It can triple the cannon's output.
**[20:20] Maeda**
It can destroy about half of
Olivia's shield. Probably.
**[20:24] Kasumi**
I'm next.
**[20:27] Kasumi**
I-It's a knight.
**[20:29] Hanako**
You're so good at drawing.
**[20:31] Hanako**
Next...
**[20:34] Olivia**
What's this?
**[20:36] Hanako**
I played it already.
**[20:38] Hanako**
Maybe it was too soon.
**[20:40] Hanako**
The strongest creature in the world...
**[20:41] Hanako**
Mister Man!
**[20:42] Olivia**
H-How is he the strongest?
**[20:45] Hanako**
Um...
**[20:48] Hanako**
He's super strong!
**[20:49] Hanako**
He can... petrify? With his eyes.
**[20:53] Hanako**
And so he's going to petrify your knight!
**[20:57] Kasumi**
Aw...
**[20:58] Olivia**
All right.
**[21:01] Hanako**
What's this?
**[21:02] Olivia**
A wizard.
**[21:04] Olivia**
He can deflect curses and stuff.
**[21:05] Olivia**
And now Mister Man's petrified!
**[21:09] Kasumi**
My most powerful Mister Man's defeated!
**[21:11] Maeda**
Allow me, Hanako-sama.
**[21:17] Hanako**
Seriously, what is that parasite thing?!
**[21:20] Maeda**
But this is the most powerful...
**[21:22] Maeda**
Like...
**[21:23] Maeda**
It's the best at everything.
**[21:25] Maeda**
It's performing the Mister
Man recovery ritual.
**[21:27] Hanako**
Yay, Mister Man is back!
**[21:33] Hanako**
What's this?
**[21:34] Kasumi**
A speech.
**[21:35] Kasumi**
He can appease the enemy
and bring him over to my side.
**[21:41] Kasumi**
What's this?
**[21:42] Hanako**
Tissue paper handouts, but
with earplugs instead!
**[21:44] Hanako**
The speech is disabled by the earplugs!
**[21:47] Kasumi**
Give us something good, Olivia-san.
**[21:50] Olivia**
Yeah.
**[21:52] Hanako**
Is that a dinosaur with wings?
**[21:54] Olivia**
It's a dragon!
**[21:55] Olivia**
A dragon!
**[21:55] Olivia**
It defeats the enemy in a single blow.
**[21:58] Hanako**
Damn it!
**[21:59] Maeda**
Allow me, Hanako-sama.
**[22:02] Hanako**
Is that the only thing you can draw?!
**[22:04] Maeda**
It's the most powerful monster...
**[22:05] Hanako**
You already said that!
**[22:07] Olivia**
*How do we make this end?*