Asobi Asobase - workshop of fun -
Olivia is a blonde-haired beauty who was born and raised in Japan, but can’t speak any English. Despite always acting serious and as an intellectual, Kasumi is a bespectacled girl with short hair, who also can’t speak English. Finally, there’s the pig-tailed Hanako, who’s cheerful but can’t seem to become a normie. The three middle schoolers end up making a “Players’ Club”?! The ultimately cute, ultimately fun and hilarious teenage girls’ comedy is about to begin!
- Season 1
- 1 - Equivalent Exchange | Cheap Thrills | Pleasure Seekers | The Kind Pervert
- 2 - Killing Time | Friendship Game | The Witch Trials | Non-title Match
- 3 - A Battle That Must Be Won | Puppets | Betting My Life
- 4 - Lower Body Lasers | Pots and Kettles | Illegal Occupation | Butt Play
- 5 - Devilish Taste | Loaded Questions | Maeda's Curse | Sex Ed
- 6 - Asterisk | Studying for Exams | A New Look | Spirited Combat, Again
- 7 - Phantom Thieves: Pass Club | Woman of Terror | Weirdo Go | Boobie Tragedy
- 8 - Gotta "Catch" 'em All! | Divine Revelation | The Evil Sugoroku
- 9 - Troubles of a Fake Foreigner | A Dutchey Wife | Genetic Engineering
- 10 - Heart Go Boing Boing | Hanako's Trial of Shame | Secret of the Dong | Film Production
- 11 - Goodbye, Student Council President | Oka-ken Witch Project | Face of Mass Destruction
- 12 - Daniel | Bra Meeting | Fairy Tale Battle Royale | Paper Wars
Season 1
1 - Equivalent Exchange | Cheap Thrills | Pleasure Seekers | The Kind Pervert
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Equivalent Exchange
[01:38] (Flashback) Kasumi
I lost again.
[01:40] (Flashback) Kasumi
You're so good, Onee-chan.
[01:44] (Flashback) Oneechan
Okay, the loser has to go buy ice cream.
[01:48] Kasumi
My older sister would always beat me
playing games and make me do stuff.
[01:55] Kasumi
So I hated having fun.
[02:01] Hanako
Start with rock!
[02:02] Hanako
Rock-paper-scissors!
[02:04] Hanako
Look the other way!
[02:05] Hanako
Rock-paper-scissors!
[02:06] Hanako
Look the other way!
[02:07] Hanako
Rock-paper-scissors!
[02:07] Kasumi
So annoying.
[02:08] Hanako
Look the other way!
[02:08] Hanako
It's a draw!
[02:08] Kasumi
What are those two doing, anyway?
[02:09] Hanako
Rock-paper-scissors!
[02:10] Hanako
It's a draw!
[02:11] Hanako
Look the other way!
[02:12] Hanako
Rock-paper-scissors!
[02:13] Hanako
It's a draw!
[02:14] Hanako
Look the other way!
[02:16] Hanako
No, that's not the rule!
[02:18] Hanako
I keep telling you, if you look
the other way, you're safe!
[02:22] Hanako
And a flick to the forehead, not a slap!
SIGN Hm?
SIGN Again, with your "I don't know Japanese" pose!
SIGN I'm done being your guide!
[02:31] Olivia
Wait up.
[02:32] Olivia
Don't just abandon a transfer
student from America.
[02:35] Kasumi
Oh, right we have a new classmate today.
[02:36] Olivia
You were asked by your homeroom
teacher to do it, weren't you?
[02:38] Hanako
Just because I happened
to be sitting next to you!
[02:40] Olivia
Let's play look-the-other-way one more time.
[02:43] Hanako
No way, you're going to slap me again!
[02:45] Olivia
Japanese pastimes are so fun!
[02:48] Kasumi
Um...
[02:50] Kasumi
Kindly shut up.
[02:54] Hanako
S-Sorry.
[02:56] Olivia
Sorry.
[02:57] Olivia
Who's she?
[02:58] Hanako
I haven't talked to her much.
[03:03] Olivia
Let's play look-the-other-way together.
[03:06] Kasumi
No thanks.
[03:07] Olivia
Please? Just one time.
[03:10] Olivia
Just the tip. Just the tip.
[03:12] Hanako
Just the tip? How far in?
[03:14] Kasumi
No.
[03:15] Olivia
I'll settle with this one, then.
[03:19] Hanako
Er... Please, play her, just once.
[03:23] Hanako
That'll be enough to satisfy her.
[03:27] Kasumi
Just once, then.
[03:29] Olivia
Sweet.
[03:32] Hanako
She's set on slapping her.
[03:33] Hanako
Rock-paper-scissors!
[03:35] Hanako
Look the other way!
[03:41] Olivia
Uh-oh.
[03:44] Hanako
What just happened?
SIGN On me
[03:46] Olivia
Hey, you got away!
SIGN Whoosh
[03:47] Hanako
Yay.
[03:48] Olivia
U-Um... Sorry...
[03:51] Kasumi
Rock-paper-scissors.
[03:53] Kasumi
Look the other way.
[03:59] Kasumi
This is real look-the-other-way.
[04:04] Hanako
Uh... Are you okay?
[04:06] Hanako
Also, what she said is true.
[04:09] Hanako
That's what you get.
SIGN Faculty Room
[04:13] Kasumi
Pardon me.
[04:16] Hanako
Slow down, Olivia.
[04:18] Hanako
Wait up.
[04:18] Kasumi
Um...
[04:21] Kasumi
Can I talk to you about something?
SIGN Midterm Test English
SIGN Nomura Kasumi
[04:28] Hanako
Two percent?!
[04:28] Hanako
You're totally the
read-books-after-school type!
[04:31] Hanako
Two percent?!
[04:31] Kasumi
The truth is, I'm bad at English.
[04:35] Kasumi
Hey, you're American, right?
Could you please teach me English?
[04:39] Kasumi
You owe me for playing
look-the-other-way with you.
[04:42] Hanako
Dude, this chick's kind of threatening.
[04:44] Olivia
Um... Well...
[04:48] Olivia
Actually, my parents are foreigners,
but I was born and raised in Japan.
[04:54] Olivia
I was just messing with her,
pretending to be American.
[04:58] Olivia
I couldn't help it, she just looks so dumb.
[05:01] Olivia
And in fact, I can't speak a word of English.
[05:05] Olivia
Maybe I'll tell her.
[05:10] Olivia
Nope, not happening.
[05:12] Olivia
Um...
[05:14] Olivia
Oh, I'm really interested in
the pastimes of other cultures.
[05:19] Kasumi
Pastimes, you say?
[05:21] Olivia
All right, I can turn her down now.
[05:24] Olivia
I want to learn about what
the Japanese do for fun,
[05:26] Olivia
so I don't have time to teach you.
[05:28] Kasumi
In that case, I'll teach you how we have fun.
[05:31] Kasumi
But you'll have to teach me English.
[05:37] Olivia
Please teach me English.
[05:40] Hanako
Why?!
[05:41] ---
Asobi Asobase!
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Cheap Thrills
[05:49] Text
Dawn is the best time of a spring day.
[05:53] Text
The white light creeping over the mountains,
[05:57] Text
the purple-tinted clouds
splashing over them...
[06:00] Olivia
Hullo, what Ackbar Bono!
[06:03] Olivia
Yo! Yo!
[06:04] Olivia
Silkworm narwhaller
[06:05] Olivia
Yum, Maggie, wow!
[06:06] Olivia
Scottie?
[06:07] Olivia
Alkaline!
[06:08] Olivia
Hacky sacky digital c'mon!
[06:10] Olivia
Hold your socks, Tania's picking tarps!
[06:13] Sensei
All right, Olivia-san.
[06:15] Sensei
Thank you very much.
[06:17] Sensei
But why is your Japanese so broken?
SIGN Staff Office
[06:23] Sensei
Weren't you born and raised in Japan?
[06:26] Olivia
Yes.
[06:27] Sensei
You got 90 percent in Japanese
on the transfer exam, didn't you?
[06:31] Olivia
Yes.
[06:31] Sensei
In fact, you got around
twenty percent in English.
[06:34] Olivia
You didn't need to mention that.
[06:35] Sensei
Sheesh.
[06:36] Sensei
Talk normally from now on, please.
[06:38] Olivia
Okay.
[06:39] Olivia
Not happening.
[06:44] Hanako
You're late.
[06:45] Hanako
Let's have lunch already.
[06:47] Olivia
Sorry, sorry.
[06:48] Hanako
Oh no, I was picking at the
sides, and now I only have rice.
[06:52] Hanako
I'll ask for some of hers.
[06:53] Hanako
What's for lunch?
[06:54] Olivia
Sandwich.
[06:55] Hanako
Can you give me the ham?
[06:57] Olivia
I don't wanna.
[06:58] Kasumi
Um...
[06:59] Kasumi
Teach me English, please.
[07:03] Olivia
Shit.
[07:05] Olivia
I haven't studied at all.
[07:07] Olivia
I'm having lunch right now.
[07:10] Kasumi
You mean the two slices of
bread you're holding together?
[07:13] Hanako
Thanks for the ham.
[07:14] Kasumi
I have ham, if you want some.
[07:16] Olivia
Where did you pull that ham out of?
[07:18] Olivia
H-Ham isn't enough.
[07:20] Kasumi
I'll teach you our pastimes, too.
[07:22] Kasumi
So please, teach me English.
[07:24] Narrator
And then what happened?
[07:27] Hanako
So what are we doing?
[07:28] Kasumi
It's our first time, so I thought maybe
an easy one that'll give us a thrill.
[07:38] Olivia
Uh...
[07:40] Olivia
This is bad news.
[07:42] Kasumi
This cheap thrill is a huge hit with
middle schoolers and high schoolers.
[07:46] Olivia
She's just talking out of her
ass because I'm a foreigner!
[07:48] Hanako
Oh, how about we make it a challenge
where every time you lose,
[07:51] Hanako
you have to teach her some English?
[07:53] Kasumi
A challenge?
[07:55] Kasumi
No!
[07:56] Olivia
It's not safe, ma'am.
[07:59] Hanako
Are you chickening out?
[08:00] Olivia
N-Not at all!
[08:02] Kasumi
I might have a chance
if she's chickening out.
[08:04] Kasumi
Okay.
[08:05] Kasumi
Let's do it.
[08:06] Kasumi
How about one pass each round?
[08:09] Hanako
Okay.
[08:18] Olivia
This kid's whack.
[08:20] Olivia
Wow.
[08:24] Kasumi
You're up next.
[08:28] Kasumi
It's dangerous, but failure isn't an option!
[08:34] Hanako
Sh-She's fast, too!
[08:38] Olivia
I kind of grazed it.
[08:40] Hanako
You were both fast.
[08:42] Hanako
You were both about the same.
I couldn't tell who won.
[08:45] Hanako
Okay, this time...
[08:47] Hanako
Do it with a compass!
[08:49] Olivia
What is wrong with you?!
[08:51] Kasumi
V-Very well.
[08:53] Olivia
Seriously?!
[09:00] Olivia
What speed.
[09:01] Kasumi
Okay, next.
[09:03] Olivia
There're holes on the desk.
[09:06] Hanako
Don't worry.
[09:07] Hanako
Even if you mess up, you'll just gain the
ability to breathe through your finger.
[09:11] Olivia
Breathe? You mean I'll have bored through it.
[09:17] Olivia
Bye-bye, my fingers!
[09:21] Hanako
She's...
[09:22] Hanako
She's fast!
[09:23] Hanako
No, wait!
[09:24] Hanako
She's nowhere near her fingers!
[09:30] Olivia
Wh-What should I teach you?
[09:34] Kasumi
Let's see...
[09:35] Kasumi
How about you teach me some
casual American conversation?
[09:41] Olivia
Dunno.
[09:43] Olivia
G-Give me chocolate.
[09:47] Kasumi
That's the English that Japanese people
used to use towards American soldiers.
[09:51] Olivia
Americans eat chocolate, too.
[09:54] Kasumi
I'm sure, but you don't beg for
it on a daily basis, do you?
[09:57] Olivia
We beg every day.
[10:00] Hanako
Really?
[10:01] Hanako
I never knew.
[10:02] Olivia
I'm sorry, Americans!
[10:03] Kasumi
That's good to know.
[10:05] Olivia
Whew!
[10:06] Kasumi
I'll look up some good pastimes.
[10:09] Olivia
Nothing dangerous, please.
[10:12] ---
Asobi Asobase!
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Pleasure Seekers
[10:27] Sensei
You're amazing, Honda-san!
[10:30] Sensei
Keep it up, and you'll make it straight
to the nationals at the game next Sunday.
[10:35] Hanako
Sensei, thank you.
[10:38] Hanako
But, Sensei...
[10:41] Hanako
That's not why I joined the soft tennis club.
[10:45] A
How's the Sunday thing coming along?
[10:47] B
It's all good.
[10:48] B
I set us up with some people
from a boys' school.
[10:51] A
Bring me some high-quality ones, face-wise.
[10:54] B
Don't worry, they're all hot.
[10:56] B
You won't be disappointed.
[10:58] Hanako
U-Um...
[10:59] Hanako
What's going on next Sunday?
[11:00] A
Hey, Honda-san.
[11:01] A
You're so amazing, making
it onto the starting lineup.
[11:04] A
Good luck at the tournament.
[11:05] B
We can't wear our uniforms at the tournament,
[11:07] B
so we'll wear them for you at the mixer.
[11:09] Hanako
S-Sure.
[11:13] Hanako
Sensei...
[11:14] Sensei
Yes? What is it?
[11:15] Hanako
I'm quitting the club.
[11:18] Sensei
Wait, what?
[11:20] Sensei
Where'd that come from?
[11:21] Narrator
And then what happened?
[11:23] Olivia
So, you actually quit?
[11:28] Hanako
She doesn't get it.
[11:30] Hanako
I didn't want to win tournaments or anything.
[11:33] Hanako
The reason I joined the soft tennis club...
[11:36] Hanako
is because I thought I could
be one of the popular kids.
[11:41] Hanako
But nope.
[11:42] Hanako
Popular kids are popular
before they even join.
[11:45] Hanako
There's something different about me.
[11:47] Hanako
I can't fit in.
[11:49] Hanako
They're all carnivores in that world.
[11:51] Hanako
A herbivore like me just
gets chewed apart, you know?
[11:55] Hanako
The substitute girl was super
happy when I quit, too.
[11:58] Hanako
Like, it was for the better? I guess?
[11:59] Olivia
Wh-When is she going
to stop talking about that?
[12:02] Olivia
L-Lucky you, though.
[12:05] Olivia
I want to join a club.
[12:08] Hanako
Aren't there any easy popular kids club?
[12:11] Olivia
What's an easy popular kid?
[12:13] Kasumi
Um...
[12:15] Kasumi
Why don't we make a club?
[12:18] Olivia
Her again!
[12:19] Olivia
I don't know if we can make one.
[12:22] Kasumi
In fact, I've already talked
to the teacher about it.
[12:24] Kasumi
You and I are the members.
[12:26] Olivia
What? What?
[12:27] Olivia
Wait, what the hell?
[12:28] Hanako
What kind of club?
[12:29] Kasumi
English Language Study Club.
[12:30] Olivia
English Language Test?
[12:31] Kasumi
I want to qualify for Class 5 someday.
[12:33] Olivia
I don't think I need to
study any more English.
[12:38] Kasumi
But...
[12:39] Olivia
I wouldn't mind joining if it's
something other than English.
[12:43] Kasumi
Then I'll think about
calling it something else.
[12:45] Olivia
Saved!
[12:47] Hanako
I want to join, too.
[12:49] Kasumi
You, too, Hanako?
[12:50] Hanako
Give it a popular name.
[12:52] Kasumi
She's still on about that.
[12:54] Kasumi
Manga Club?
[12:55] Hanako
Were you listening to me just now?!
[12:57] Kasumi
I mean, those people actually
have lots of meet ups and events.
[13:01] Kasumi
I think they're pretty happy in real life.
[13:02] Hanako
That's not it!
[13:04] Hanako
Something that seems full
of people having fun.
[13:08] Olivia
L-Like Surfing or Diving?
[13:11] Hanako
Yeah, yeah!
[13:12] Kasumi
I'm pretty sure they do
proper water sport stuff.
[13:15] Olivia
Hell, no!
SIGN Finally shook hands with a goblin shark at 1200 meters under
[13:16] Olivia
A proper diving club might
be something like this.
[13:20] Olivia
But there's no way these ones
are in it for the sport.
SIGN Best Buddies <3
[13:24] Olivia
Actually, the proper ones, by
her standards, would be dead.
[13:27] Hanako
Damn it!
[13:28] Hanako
I don't approve of anyone who
doesn't do sports properly!
[13:32] Olivia
Was this girl always such a howler?
[13:34] Kasumi
Th-Then...
[13:36] Kasumi
How about a Pastime Club?
[13:38] Kasumi
Especially since you like
pastimes, Olivia-san.
[13:40] Olivia
Dude...
[13:41] Olivia
I'm going to end up having to teach
English every time I lose, aren't I?
[13:45] Olivia
Although the truth is that I'm
starting to like this kind of thing.
[13:51] Olivia
But I don't want to admit
it either, you know?
[13:56] Olivia
U-Um...
[13:58] Kasumi
I've already made so many compromises.
[14:00] Kasumi
What's your problem?
[14:02] Kasumi
I don't know what you're
demanding, Olivia-san.
[14:05] Olivia
W-Wait...
[14:06] Olivia
Why is she suddenly so pissed?
[14:10] Kasumi
Let's settle this over a thumb war, then.
[14:13] Kasumi
If I win, it's Pastime Club.
[14:15] Kasumi
If you win, you can choose
whatever you'd like.
[14:18] Olivia
Fine.
[14:20] Olivia
You idiot, I totally have an advantage,
with how long my fingers are!
[14:25] Hanako
Okay.
[14:27] Hanako
Ready... go.
[14:33] Hanako
So dull.
[14:35] Olivia
Now!
[14:39] Olivia
Huh?
[14:40] Olivia
Did her thumb really just bend like that?
[14:44] Olivia
What's she aiming for?
[14:47] Olivia
The base!
[14:48] Olivia
I have to dodge it at all costs!
[14:53] Olivia
Oy.
[14:55] Kasumi
One...
[14:57] Kasumi
Two...
[14:58] Kasumi
Three...
[15:00] Kasumi
Four...
[15:01] Olivia
Ow, ow...
[15:02] Kasumi
Five...
[15:02] Olivia
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
[15:04] Kasumi
Six...
[15:06] Kasumi
Seven...
[15:06] ---
That hurts!
[15:08] Kasumi
Eight...
[15:10] Kasumi
Nine...
[15:11] Olivia
I give, I give!
[15:11] Kasumi
Ten.
[15:12] Olivia
Fine.
[15:15] Olivia
Let's call it the Pastime Club.
[15:17] Hanako
She sounded super native saying "that hurts."
[15:20] Hanako
Hey...
[15:21] Hanako
"Pastime Club" sounds a bit lame, so...
[15:24] Hanako
Let's call it the Pastimers Club.
[15:27] Olivia
How is that any different?
[15:29] ---
Does it really need to be "pastimers"?
[15:31] Hanako
"Pastimers" makes us sound more like popular
Shibuya pleasure seekers, doesn't it?
[15:35] Olivia
It actually makes me think of jobless old
guys betting on horses or playing mahjong.
[15:39] Kasumi
F-Fine.
[15:41] Kasumi
Let's go with that.
[15:42] Olivia
Are you sure?!
SIGN Pastimers Club
[15:44] Narrator
And so the Pastimers Club,
also known as the Pass Club,
[15:48] Narrator
was quietly established
in the spare classroom.
[15:51] A
They actually study pleasure seekers?
[15:54] B
Jeez, that's so gloomy.
[15:56] ---
Asobi Asobase!
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN The Kind Pervert
[16:03] Hanako
Olivia.
[16:05] Hanako
Let's go to the club room.
[16:07] Olivia
I'm going to take these hand-outs to
the staff room, so I'll be there later.
[16:10] Hanako
Okay.
[16:11] Hanako
Olivia's gotten good at Japanese, huh?
[16:13] Kasumi
It's probably because
she's hanging out with us.
[16:16] Olivia
Crap, I need to get better more gradually.
[16:20] Narrator
And then what happened?
[16:22] Olivia
What's today's pastime?
[16:29] Olivia
What are they up to?
[16:32] Olivia
What's this?
[16:33] Hanako
Huh?
[16:34] Hanako
I mean, it's hot, so...
[16:35] Kasumi
So Hanako-san wanted to set
up a pool in the club room.
[16:38] Hanako
Yeah.
[16:39] Olivia
That sounds dangerous, in more ways than one.
[16:42] Hanako
Don't worry, we'll be careful.
[16:43] Hanako
Come on, get in your swimsuit, Olivia.
[16:45] Olivia
Stop, perv!
[16:46] Olivia
Wait, I'll get changed.
[16:51] Hanako
Oh yeah, I heard there's a foreign
brand of trunks that float in water.
[16:56] Hanako
Do you think it's true?
[16:58] Olivia
Do trunks float?
[16:59] Olivia
Wouldn't water get in?
[17:01] Hanako
You know how people used
to go on vacations by sea?
[17:04] Hanako
So apparently there were some brands
of trunks that worked as swim tubes.
[17:09] Hanako
I heard someone survived the
Titanic crash because of it, too.
[17:13] Kasumi
You're so knowledgeable, Hanako-san.
[17:16] Hanako
I figured we should give it a try here.
[17:19] Olivia
But I don't have trunks.
[17:22] Kasumi
Especially not a foreign brand.
[17:24] Hanako
I'll have my butler get us some, then.
[17:26] Hanako
Hello? Maeda?
[17:26] Kasumi
Wait, is Hanako rich?
[17:27] Hanako
It's me, Hanako. Get me some trunks.
[17:29] Hanako
The foreign brand that has with
the Japanese emblem-looking thing.
[17:31] ---
All right, final match!
[17:33] Kasumi
Wait, Hanako-san, maybe we
should do this normally.
[17:36] Hanako
It's fine.
[17:37] Hanako
Get on, Kasumi-san.
[17:43] Hanako
I don't know, it's too shallow.
[18:02] Kasumi
Um...
[18:03] Kasumi
Could you please stop staring at my chest?
[18:06] Hanako
Sorry.
[18:07] Hanako
They're just so huge.
[18:09] Kasumi
I've never seen anyone say that
with such a straight face.
[18:12] Olivia
You're so busty, Kasumi.
[18:15] Hanako
Yes.
[18:16] Hanako
She's got huge boobs.
[18:17] Hanako
But so what?
[18:19] Hanako
Is a lady with big boobs
going to bring world peace?
[18:22] Kasumi
Sorry, Hanako, I feel bad.
[18:23] Olivia
How do you get them so big?
[18:28] Kasumi
Genetics.
[18:29] Hanako
I'mma go be born from a
big boobed lady's womb!
[18:31] Hanako
I'll see you in a future life!
[18:31] Olivia
Hanako, no!
[18:33] Hanako
Please, let me die!
[18:34] Hanako
My mommy in this life is a washboard!
[18:37] Kasumi
H-Hey, there's another way to get
them bigger, besides genetics.
[18:42] Kasumi
You get fat.
[18:44] Hanako
That's pretty easy.
[18:45] Kasumi
It is.
[18:46] Kasumi
It's not too bad, if you have
strong knees and organs.
[18:49] Olivia
Wait, what degree of
obesity are you talking?!
[18:52] Olivia
My mom's got an hourglass figure.
[18:55] Olivia
I have lots to look forward to.
[18:58] Hanako
Your type gets old early.
[19:01] Olivia
Wh-What an asshole.
[19:03] Hanako
I found a good pizza place the other day.
[19:07] Hanako
Let's go there sometime. My treat.
[19:09] Olivia
Nah, I don't want to impose.
[19:11] Olivia
You might be trying to get me
fat, but I won't fall for it.
[19:17] Hanako
What are you talking about?
[19:18] Hanako
I'm not trying to get you
to look like Jabba *** Hutt.
[19:23] Olivia
Then what's with the extremely specific
visual I'm seeing behind you?
[19:26] Olivia
Take this, Hanako!
[19:36] Sensei
Sounds like they're having fun.
[19:40] Sensei
I-I have a bad feeling about this.
[19:44] Sensei
Um... Girls?
[19:47] Sensei
There's something seeping through.
[19:48] Sensei
What are you...
[19:49] Hanako
Shoot!
[19:50] Kasumi
I don't want him to see
us in school swimsuits.
[19:52] Sensei
May I open the door?
[19:53] Hanako
W-W-Wait, Sensei, don't open it!
[19:55] Sensei
But...
[19:56] Hanako
L-Listen, Sensei...
[19:58] Hanako
I got this.
[20:00] Hanako
Olivia-chan couldn't hold it in.
[20:05] Sensei
She couldn't hold it in?
[20:07] Sensei
But it's clear...
[20:12] Sensei
Right.
[20:13] Sensei
When in doubt, find out.
[20:16] Sensei
Only one truth prevails.
[20:24] Sensei
I tried licking it, but
it just tastes like water.
[20:27] Hanako
What is this guy doing?!
[20:29] Sensei
I'm really saddened that you lied to me.
[20:35] Hanako
S-Sorry.
[20:39] Hanako
That's not Olivia's pee.
[20:42] Hanako
It's just water.
[20:44] Sensei
I see.
[20:46] Olivia
I-Is it just me, or was
he disappointed just now?
[20:50] Sensei
I'm really happy that you told me the truth.
[20:54] Sensei
Thank you, girls.
[20:57] Sensei
Continue being honest.
[20:59] Hanako
Okay, Sensei.
[21:02] Sensei
Be sure to clean up the water later.
[21:04] Hanako
Okay.
[21:07] Olivia
He's a good person.
[21:10] Hanako
Are you serious?!
[21:11] Hanako
I was just playing along so he'd
go home without a confrontation!
[21:14] Hanako
What he did was super gross!
SIGN Asobi Asobase
[22:48] ---
Asobi Asobase!
SIGN Japanese Pastimes, Please
[22:59] Olivia
What shall we do?
[23:00] Hanako
What to do?
[23:02] Narrator
Daruma Otoshi.
SIGN Daruma Otoshi
[23:04] Narrator
A game — or rather, a hunt —
played primarily by popular girls.
SIGN Strait-laced boys
[23:11] Narrator
The winner is the girl who,
at a mixer or drinking party,
[23:17] Narrator
manages to seduce and drive mad a
strait-laced boy with no interest in women,
SIGN Blonde Hair and Blue Eyes
[23:20] Narrator
with her sheer womanly wiles.
[23:23] Narrator
There are no particular rules
or dos or do-nots to this game.
SIGN Wealth
[23:30] [SONG] ---
Misandrist
[23:30] Kasumi
Um... what do I do?
[23:31] Kasumi
Um...
[23:32] Kasumi
Dudes are so gross, damn it!
SIGN Asobi Asobase
[23:38] ---
Asobi Asobase!
2 - Killing Time | Friendship Game | The Witch Trials | Non-title Match
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Killing Time
[01:34] President
Sh-Should I become the
student council president,
[01:37] President
I will c-c-commit to providing the best
school life possible for our students.
[01:46] President
P-Please and th-thank you.
[01:51] Person A
Thank you.
[01:52] President
I couldn't talk straight.
[01:53] Person A
Next, we will move on to campaign speeches.
[01:54] President
It's hopeless, I'm definitely going to lose.
[01:56] President
Her speech just now was so confident.
[01:58] President
She got so much applause.
[02:00] President
She's pretty and outgoing and
the other students love her.
[02:04] President
I don't stand a chance.
[02:06] President
Why did I even run?
[02:09] President
I wanted to be in the spotlight just
once, but maybe I was wanting too much.
[02:15] Person B
Have you given up already?
[02:17] Person B
I haven't done my campaign speech yet.
[02:20] Person A
Next...
SIGN Pastimers Club
[02:23] Narrator
These are the events soon
after Pass Club was formed.
[02:29] Hanako
I'm so bored.
[02:32] Hanako
It's been a week since we made Pass
Club, but nothing's happened so far.
[02:37] Olivia
Sh-She's turning into Dali's Clock again.
[02:40] Hanako
The room's empty.
[02:41] Hanako
There's nothing to play with.
[02:43] Hanako
We don't ever go to Shibuya.
[02:45] Olivia
Why don't you just go, then?
[02:47] Hanako
What is this, are we supposed to just dry up?
[02:49] Olivia
W-Want to play kendama?
[02:51] Hanako
You like kendama, don't you, Olivia?
[02:54] Hanako
Thanks.
[02:56] Text
Omikoshi.
SIGN Omikoshi
SIGN Airplane
[02:58] Text
Airplane.
SIGN High
[03:01] Text
High Noon.
SIGN High Noon
[03:03] Hanako
We've only been doing
kendama this whole week.
[03:06] Olivia
She's gotten ridiculously good.
[03:11] Kasumi
It looks like a real club.
[03:14] Kasumi
Sorry I'm late.
[03:15] Hanako
Where were you?
[03:17] Kasumi
At the staff office, registering the club.
[03:18] Hanako
You hadn't done that yet?
[03:20] Olivia
How did it go?
[03:21] Kasumi
They rejected it.
[03:24] Hanako
Why?
[03:25] Kasumi
We can't make a club with just three people.
[03:28] Kasumi
So I asked if we could at
least make it a circle,
[03:31] Kasumi
but the school council president was against
it, saying the activities were unclear.
[03:36] Hanako
There's nothing we can do about that, then.
[03:38] Kasumi
We were supposed to get 10,000
yen in funds, even for a circle.
[03:43] Hanako
Let's negotiate!
[03:44] Hanako
This is war!
SIGN Student Council Room
[03:49] President
How can I help you?
[03:51] Olivia
That's the president?
[03:53] Kasumi
I'm here to ask about circle
registration for Pass Club.
[03:57] President
Pass Club.
[03:58] President
Right.
[04:00] President
Let's see...
[04:01] President
The Pastimers Club.
[04:03] President
Say what?
[04:05] President
What do you do in the club?
[04:06] Hanako
We become popular kids.
[04:09] President
Popular kids.
[04:11] President
What the hell is this kid talking about?
[04:13] Olivia
That's not true.
[04:14] Olivia
We pass time.
[04:16] President
Huh.
[04:17] President
Just pass time?
[04:20] President
Are they messing with me?
[04:21] Kasumi
No.
[04:22] Kasumi
It's a more proper club.
[04:24] Kasumi
We study English.
[04:26] President
Huh.
[04:27] President
English.
[04:29] President
What happened to passing time?
[04:31] President
Let's see...
[04:33] President
Do it at home.
[04:35] Hanako
President!
[04:36] Hanako
Shall I grovel?
[04:37] Hanako
If you want me to grovel, I'll
kiss the floor with my forehead!
[04:41] Hanako
I swear, we'll make better
use of the funds than on
[04:44] Hanako
the new national stadium construction!
[04:47] Olivia
Stop, Hanako.
[04:48] President
Umm...
[04:50] Kasumi
We take the club seriously.
[04:55] Kasumi
What issue do you have with us?
[05:00] President
These eyes...
[05:02] President
They're the same as the girl who
did that campaign speech for me.
[05:06] President
All right.
[05:08] President
Then why don't we decide
over a game of Othello?
[05:10] President
If you win, we'll grant you
the 10,000 in club funds.
[05:14] President
Let's play best of three on a 6x6 board
so we can find the winner quickly.
[05:17] Hanako
Really?!
[05:18] Olivia
You're so kind, President.
[05:21] Narrator
One loss.
SIGN Lost all her pieces
[05:22] Narrator
Two losses.
[05:23] Olivia
Hanako...
[05:25] Hanako
D-Don't worry.
[05:26] Hanako
I'm actually pretty good at Othello.
[05:28] President
It's kind of awkward to tell them it's over
since they've already lost two matches.
[05:33] President
W-Would you like to move first or second?
[05:36] Hanako
First!
[05:36] Olivia
Good luck, Hanako-san!
[05:40] Hanako
I've never played 6x6 before, but
there's a trick to winning Othello.
[05:45] Hanako
The first person to break
the inner line loses.
[05:48] Hanako
And you take the corners.
[05:50] Hanako
That way...
[05:51] Hanako
Wait, I'm out of hands?!
[05:53] President
There's nothing to say that the first
person who leaves the inner line loses.
[05:58] President
And you're better off not flipping
too many pieces until the mid-game.
[06:01] President
You'll run out of pieces
to flip in the mid-game.
[06:04] President
Also...
[06:05] President
As long as you don't mess up, 6x6
strongly favors the second player.
[06:17] Hanako
I wanted the 10,000 yen!
[06:19] Olivia
That president was amazing, though.
[06:22] Olivia
She really was like a proper president.
[06:24] Hanako
Not really.
[06:25] Hanako
She had a pretty bad chance after
her own speech at the election.
[06:28] Kasumi
That's true.
[06:29] Kasumi
I remember the vice president
said in her campaign speech...
[06:33] VP
I don't really care to tell you
what's so nice about the president.
[06:40] VP
All that really matters is the results.
[06:44] VP
You don't know until you try.
[06:47] VP
So all I can say is...
[06:51] VP
If you don't vote for her, be careful when
you're out at night and of what you eat.
[07:04] Hanako
That was what won her the election.
[07:05] Kasumi
I know, I didn't want to die yet.
[07:08] Olivia
That's intimidation!
[07:09] President
And since I won the election, I was
hoping to be in the spotlight, but...
[07:13] President
Being the student council president
was a lot more drab than I'd expected.
[07:17] President
I wonder if those three
will come hang out again.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Friendship Game
[07:25] Sensei
I'm handing back the English tests.
[07:29] Sensei
Togawa-san.
[07:30] Togawa
Yes.
[07:30] Sensei
Nakata-san.
[07:31] Nakata
Yes.
[07:32] Sensei
Nomura-san.
[07:33] Kasumi
Yes.
SIGN Nomura Kasumi
[07:36] Kasumi
What the hell?
[07:38] Kasumi
I'm hanging out with Olivia-san, and
yet my grade's dropping even further.
[07:43] Kasumi
Why?
[07:45] Kasumi
But come to think of it, Olivia-san
hasn't taught me English at all.
[07:50] Kasumi
Oh yeah, when I was working on the
English handouts in the club room...
[07:55] (Flashback) Hanako
Kasumi-san, that part's wrong.
[07:58] (Flashback) Hanako
That's past tense, so it's
"did you," not "do you."
[08:01] (Flashback) Hanako
Also, you wrote "geri" instead of "girl."
[08:03] (Flashback) Kasumi
Th-Thank you.
[08:05] Kasumi
Hanako-san taught me that,
but Olivia-san didn't say anything.
[08:11] Kasumi
Olivia-san didn't say anything.
SIGN Pastimers Club
[08:15] Hanako
Okay, Olivia, I'll start.
[08:17] Hanako
I finally get to play the new third
edition of Boys' School Wars!
[08:22] Hanako
My turn!
[08:23] Hanako
Gonda of the Sumo Club!
SIGN Sumo Club - Gonda
Giant Student Effect: Shove
Deal 4 damage to enemy regardless of their skills.
Cannot attack when "Hot Pot" card is active.
Sumo wrestlers are very sensitive about seniority.
Be extra careful when going to karaoke with him.
[08:25] Hanako
Deals 4 damage with Shove!
[08:27] Hanako
And I'll summon Kamiya of the Tea Club,
and activate Folded Leg Endurance!
SIGN Tea Club - Kamiya
Proper Student
Effect: Folded Leg Endurance
Resist one attack (up to 10)
[08:32] Hanako
End turn!
[08:33] Hanako
Okay, Olivia.
[08:34] Olivia
What am I supposed to do?
[08:36] Olivia
She just taught me the rules.
[08:40] Olivia
What do I do?
[08:42] Olivia
Hey, he has really high damage output.
[08:44] Olivia
For my turn, umm...
SIGN Blue-eyed Delinquent
Delinquent Student Effect: Summon Gals with a Wink
Take up to three Gal cards from the deck and add to your hand.
If there is at least one Gal card in play, the Protagonist Attribute is activated.
The Protagonist Attribute triples Attack and increases Defense five-fold until the end of the battle.
"There, there, you were lonely, too, huh?" he said, as he cradled the kitten.
[08:49] Olivia
I'm playing Summon Gals with a
Wink with Blue-eyed Delinquent.
[08:53] Hanako
Olivia!
[08:55] Hanako
That's the legendary ultimate card!
[08:57] Hanako
That thing costs a premium!
[08:59] Olivia
Really?
[09:00] Olivia
I got forced to buy it
at the convenience store.
[09:02] Olivia
I never knew it was so valuable.
[09:03] Hanako
Gimme! Please!
[09:04] Hanako
You aren't interested in
this card game, are you?
[09:06] Hanako
It's just a piece of scrap
paper to you, Olivia!
[09:09] Hanako
Please, I'm begging you!
[09:11] Hanako
I'll pay 143 yen for it!
[09:13] Olivia
143 yen for a valuable card?
[09:16] Kasumi
Hey, Olivia-san...
[09:17] Olivia
Yes?
[09:18] Hanako
What's up, Kasumi-san?
[09:20] Hanako
Err...
[09:21] Hanako
You look pretty serious.
[09:23] Kasumi
U-Um...
[09:26] Kasumi
Err... umm...
[09:30] Kasumi
About English...
[09:36] Kasumi
She looked away just now.
[09:39] Kasumi
H-How did you do on your English test?
[09:43] Hanako
Okay, I guess?
[09:45] Hanako
I made some careless mistakes
and got 92 percent.
[09:46] Kasumi
Wait, Hanako-san's smart?
[09:48] Kasumi
Wh-What about you?
[09:52] Olivia
Okay, I guess?
[09:54] Kasumi
What did you get?
[09:55] Olivia
I made some careless mistakes
and got 25 percent.
[09:58] Kasumi
Err, that wouldn't be a careless mistake.
[10:00] Hanako
Wait a second...
[10:02] Hanako
Are you actually bad at English?
[10:05] Olivia
N-No!
[10:05] Hanako
Are you actually from
Europe rather than the US?
[10:08] Hanako
Did you not speak much English?
[10:10] Olivia
I-I want to say that's it, but I feel like
it's going to get even more complicated.
[10:14] Olivia
N-No...
[10:16] Kasumi
Were you lying to me?
[10:19] Olivia
No!
[10:20] Olivia
I wasn't lying to you!
[10:22] Kasumi
Olivia?
[10:22] Olivia
I wasn't lying to you, I was just messing!
[10:26] Olivia
With Hanako!
[10:28] Kasumi
But so you can't speak English, then?
[10:35] Olivia
Would you want to stop hanging out
with me if I couldn't speak English?
[10:45] Kasumi
Not at all.
[10:47] Kasumi
We're already club buddies.
[10:53] Olivia
Kasumi...
[10:55] Kasumi
Olivia-san...
[11:04] Hanako
Hey, can you ask that to me, too?
[11:07] Olivia
Ask what?
[11:08] Hanako
"Would you still want to hang out
with me if I couldn't speak English?"
[11:11] Olivia
Hanako doesn't care about English.
[11:14] Olivia
Of course she'd say yes.
[11:17] Hanako
Would you still want to hang out
with me if I couldn't speak English?
[11:22] Hanako
I had a feeling since part way through
Episode 1, but I stuck around.
[11:26] Olivia
She's so patronizing!
[11:28] Olivia
But whatever.
[11:30] Olivia
I love you, too, Hanako.
[11:32] Kasumi
Me, too.
[11:33] Hanako
Come on, guys.
[11:35] Hanako
Jeez, stop it.
[11:36] Hanako
You're so needy.
[11:51] Olivia
Let's have more fun together going forward.
[11:54] Hanako
Yeah.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN The Witch Trials
[12:04] Sensei
Makeup is banned at our school.
[12:06] Sensei
I'm confiscating these.
[12:07] Girl
Okay.
[12:09] Hanako
Stupid popular girls.
[12:10] Hanako
I don't have any makeup.
[12:13] Hanako
This doesn't hurt me one bit.
[12:15] Hanako
Besides, you're just going to wreck
your skin wearing makeup at our age.
[12:19] Hanako
It'll make a difference when we're thirty.
[12:21] Hanako
When we're thirty!
[12:23] Hanako
Watch this, you popular sluts.
[12:26] Hanako
See how much of a good girl I am!
[12:28] Sensei
Honda-san.
[12:29] Hanako
Yes?
[12:29] Sensei
What is this?
SIGN Boys' School Wars Official Fan Book
SIGN Pastimers Club
[12:35] Hanako
That wretched bureaucrat!
[12:37] Kasumi
Y-You just ended up exposing
how much of a nerd you are.
[12:40] Olivia
Did they get confiscated?
[12:41] Hanako
Yes!
[12:42] Hanako
Oh yeah, how did you do it, Olivia?
[12:44] Olivia
Huh?
[12:45] Hanako
I mean...
[12:46] Sensei
Olivia-san, your bag is empty.
[12:49] Olivia
Yes.
[12:50] Sensei
You haven't brought anything?
[12:52] Olivia
I have not.
[12:53] Olivia
I forgot everything.
[12:56] Sensei
I see.
[12:57] Sensei
You forgot, did you?
[12:58] Sensei
Fair enough.
[12:59] Olivia
Yes.
[13:02] Hanako
Damn it, I should have done that, too.
[13:07] Hanako
What about you, Kasumi-san?
[13:08] Kasumi
I was fine.
[13:10] Hanako
Your books, too?
[13:11] Kasumi
I borrowed a book from the library.
SIGN Learn English Through Slang!
[13:13] Hanako
You get a pass if it's from the library, huh?
[13:15] Hanako
Let's lay our stuff out on our desks.
[13:18] Olivia
That sounds fun.
SIGN Book Keys Transit pass Pen case Coin purse Glasses case Flip phone Textbooks Notebooks
SIGN Textbooks Notebooks Wallet Tissues Smartphone Transit pass Keys Pencil case Candies
SIGN Wallet Smartphone Textbooks Notebooks Comb Gum Lunch box Handkerchief Pen case
[13:23] Hanako
Yup, found the devil's woven bag.
[13:26] Hanako
My, my, what do we have here?
[13:29] Hanako
Whose is this?
[13:30] Olivia
Mine.
[13:33] Hanako
This is yours, eh, Olivia-san?
[13:35] Hanako
I have before me an implement for
tainting the minds of wholesome women,
[13:39] Hanako
turning them into slts.
[13:41] Olivia
Um...
[13:42] Olivia
It's just a makeup pouch.
[13:44] Hanako
A makeup pouch?
[13:47] Hanako
You could be put on trial for carrying
such unwholesome bags of the devil, lady.
[13:53] Kasumi
No...
[13:54] Kasumi
Hanako-san's jealous that Olivia-san has*
popular girl stuff when she doesn't!
[13:58] Hanako
Defendant, are you prepared
to confess your sins?
[14:01] Olivia
I'm pretty sure this is moments
before my sentence, not my trial.
[14:06] Olivia
I-I carry this for my studies.
[14:11] Hanako
Continue.
[14:13] Kasumi
She took it!
[14:14] Olivia
Think about it.
[14:16] Olivia
If you go to school wearing makeup,
you get told you're ridiculous.
[14:19] Olivia
But when you graduate
and join the work force,
[14:21] Olivia
you get told you're ridiculous
if you don't wear makeup.
[14:23] Olivia
So how are you supposed to know how
to put on makeup when you go to work,
[14:27] Olivia
if you hadn't done it
while you were in school?
[14:29] Kasumi
Isn't that something you learn
while you're in college?
[14:31] Olivia
What about people who find
work right after high school?
[14:33] Olivia
Do they learn during spring break?
[14:35] Olivia
Do you really think you can get that
good in the two weeks of spring break?
[14:40] Olivia
Not a chance.
[14:41] Olivia
That's why I'm secretly practicing my makeup,
[14:44] Olivia
so that I don't have to
embarrass myself later.
[14:47] Kasumi
We've heard her position.
[14:49] Kasumi
What do you think, Hanako-san?
[14:50] Hanako
Yup, yup.
SIGN Yup Yup
[14:51] Kasumi
She's really into it.
[14:52] Hanako
I see.
[14:54] Hanako
So when we do makeup, it's strictly
only to learn adult skills
[14:58] Hanako
so that we don't embarrass
ourselves when we're grown up.
[15:01] Hanako
We aren't trying to attract guys,
so we're absolutely not being slts!
[15:05] Hanako
Therefore, I, Hanako, shall
henceforth do makeup!
[15:09] Olivia
You get it!
[15:11] Kasumi
Olivia-san's getting good*
at handling Hanako-san.
[15:14] Olivia
Why don't we practice
putting on makeup, then?
[15:17] Hanako
Okay!
[15:19] Hanako
Where do I start?
[15:21] Hanako
Teach me, Olivia.
[15:23] Kasumi
She's like someone having French
food for the first time.
[15:27] Kasumi
Huh?
[15:28] Kasumi
Olivia-san?
[15:29] Olivia
First... the cheeks?
[15:32] Kasumi
Cheeks? As in, blush?
[15:33] Kasumi
Wait, has she not done this before?
[15:35] Kasumi
Sh-Shouldn't you start with toner?
[15:38] Hanako
Huh? You know this stuff, Kasumi-san?
[15:39] Kasumi
I-I have an older sister, so I know a little.
[15:42] Kasumi
And then lotion.
[15:44] Kasumi
It doubles as a makeup base and sunscreen.
[15:46] Kasumi
And then foundation, I think?
[15:49] Kasumi
That doesn't make a difference.
[15:51] Kasumi
You have nice skin to begin with, Hanako-san.
[15:53] Kasumi
I guess it doesn't do much.
[15:55] Kasumi
And then shading...
[15:56] Olivia
Let's put on some eye shadow!
[16:00] Olivia
She looks like she got punched.
[16:02] Hanako
Hey, do that half face makeup
thing they do on magazines.
[16:06] Hanako
I want to see the before and after.
[16:08] Olivia
O-Okay.
[16:10] Olivia
I'll do one of your cheeks, then.
[16:12] Kasumi
You can really tell you're wearing makeup
when you put on blush. It's nice.
[16:20] Olivia
Now she looks like she got punched twice.
[16:25] Hanako
How do I look?
[16:26] Olivia
You look cute.
[16:29] Sensei
Honda-san!
[16:31] Hanako
S-Sensei!
[16:31] Hanako
No no, no no!
[16:33] Sensei
Judging from the angle, she must
have been beaten up by those two.
[16:37] Sensei
Olivia-san, Nomura-san,
come to the faculty room.
[16:41] Hanako
Wait, S-Sensei, I'm the one at fault here.
[16:45] Sensei
Don't worry, Honda-san.
[16:47] Sensei
You're fine.
[16:48] Sensei
Nomura-san, hurry up and
finish that mochi ice cream.
[16:52] Kasumi
No, it's a puff.
[16:54] Hanako
Wait, has Sensei never put on makeup before?
[17:00] Hanako
Lucky!
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Non-title Match
[17:08] Kasumi
Found it.
[17:10] Kasumi
Thank goodness.
[17:11] Kasumi
Good thing it never fell on top of someone.
[17:13] Kasumi
I have to finish cleaning
and get to the club.
[17:16] Kasumi
Hanako-san and Olivia-san must be waiting.
[17:21] Kasumi
Huh? That voice...
[17:25] Kasumi
It's Hanako-san.
[17:28] Kasumi
What's she doing, though?
[17:30] Kasumi
Practice swings?
[17:32] Kasumi
I wonder if Hanako-san still wants
to go back to the Soft Tennis Club.
[17:40] Kasumi
Huh?
[17:41] Kasumi
It's a hagoita.
[17:45] Kasumi
I'm going to pretend I didn't see that.
SIGN Pastimers Club
[17:48] Olivia
You're late, Kasumi.
[17:49] Kasumi
I-I was on cleaning duty.
[17:51] Olivia
Oh, was it you today?
[17:53] Olivia
Hanako isn't here yet.
[17:54] Olivia
Was she on duty, too?
[17:56] Kasumi
D-Dunno.
[17:57] Kasumi
She's probably spying on
popular kids or something.
[18:01] Olivia
I can picture that.
[18:09] Kasumi
She just showed right up.
[18:11] Olivia
Wh-What are you holding?
[18:13] Hanako
Takeshi-sama.
[18:14] Olivia
Hm?
[18:15] Hanako
A Blue-eyed Delinquent hagoita
from Boys' School Wars.
[18:18] Hanako
Custom-made.
[18:20] Olivia
H-Huh.
[18:21] Olivia
That's great.
[18:22] Hanako
I have them for you two, too.
[18:23] Olivia
I really don't want this!
[18:25] Olivia
Thanks.
[18:27] Hanako
Let's bring these with us to
take down the Soft Tennis Club!
[18:31] Kasumi
So that's what that was about.
[18:34] Olivia
With hagoitas?
[18:35] Hanako
Yeah.
[18:36] Hanako
They wouldn't stand a chance
if I used a normal racket.
[18:38] Hanako
It's a handicap, I guess.
[18:40] Kasumi
Wait, we haven't played soft tennis before.
[18:45] Sensei
Honda-san!
[18:46] Sensei
You're back?!
[18:49] Sensei
Jeez, the prefectural preliminaries were
brutal since you pulled out, you know.
[18:53] Hanako
Wait, Sensei, that's not it.
[18:55] Hanako
I'm here today for a non-title
match against the soft tennis club.
[19:00] Sensei
Huh? What for?
[19:02] Hanako
What for, you ask?
[19:04] Hanako
Because I'm faced with my sworn enemies.
SIGN Sworn Enemies
SIGN Popular Kids
[19:07] Sensei
No one can come out happy by that reasoning.
[19:09] A
Sensei, we can't play real matches.
[19:12] B
I'm out of sweat wipes right now.
I don't want to sweat too much.
[19:16] Sensei
Ugh...
[19:17] Hanako
Ugh...
[19:17] Sensei
H-Honda-san, we accept the challenge.
[19:21] Sensei
But...
[19:22] Sensei
If we win, you have to come
back to the soft tennis club.
[19:26] Hanako
I'm in.
[19:27] Kasumi
Are you sure about that condition?
[19:29] Kasumi
It seems full of all kinds of holes.
[19:31] Sensei
All right, kids, we're
winning no matter what!
[19:33] Sensei
We'll win ugly if we have to.
[19:34] Sensei
Go for the eyes! The eyes!
[19:36] A
Sensei, are you sure it's a good idea to
hit a member you want in her weak spot?
[19:39] Sensei
Pass Club, service.
[19:41] Hanako
Tremble before me!
[19:44] Hanako
This is the Green-eyed Serve!
[19:47] Sensei
There it is!
[19:48] Sensei
The phrase by Shakespeare representing
jealousy in his play, Othello,
[19:51] Sensei
"green-eyed monster"!
[19:53] Sensei
Honda-san's special serve!
[20:01] Hanako
It couldn't stand up to Takeshi-sama's nose!
[20:04] Olivia
Use the back side, Hanako!
[20:06] Hanako
I had Takeshi-san put on both
sides when I ordered it.
[20:08] Olivia
Are you nuts?!
[20:09] Hanako
I'll go think of something.
[20:11] Hanako
Handle this, guys!
[20:14] Olivia
Wh-What do we do?
[20:15] Kasumi
I-It's fine.
[20:16] Kasumi
I'm good at physics.
[20:23] Kasumi
I can see the ball's trajectory.
[20:26] Kasumi
Horizontal acceleration, vertical
acceleration, gravity, drag...
SIGN Calculating
[20:32] Kasumi
All these factors determine the
ball's parabolic trajectory.
[20:36] Kasumi
Now!
[20:42] Kasumi
My calculation was impeccable.
[20:45] Olivia
S-Sure.
[20:46] Olivia
Seriously, it's okay.
[20:48] Olivia
I believe you.
[20:49] Hanako
I'm back, guys.
[20:52] Olivia
Hanako...
[20:53] Olivia
Did you...
[20:55] Olivia
You broke it?!
[20:57] Kasumi
We can break these?
[20:59] Olivia
It's in the way for me, too.
[21:00] Hanako
Olivia!
[21:01] Hanako
What are you doing?!
[21:03] Olivia
But you broke yours.
[21:04] Hanako
I was crying!
[21:06] Hanako
I never gave you permission!
[21:08] Hanako
Right, Kasumi-san?
SIGN Peeled off
[21:10] Hanako
Kasumi-san!
[21:11] A
Sorry to interrupt, but can we continue?
[21:14] Hanako
O-Of course.
[21:16] Hanako
I'm going to play seriously now.
[21:18] A
Yeah?
[21:19] B
You are, huh?
[21:21] A
We lose, then.
[21:23] B
The mixer afterwards is going
to suck if I sweat any more.
[21:29] A
Thank you, Sensei.
[21:30] B
See you tomorrow.
[21:33] Kasumi
Um...
[21:34] Kasumi
Do you have glue?
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Japanese Pastimes, Please
[23:11] Kasumi
I wonder what we're doing today.
[23:12] Hanako
I dunno.
SIGN Ring toss
[23:13] Narrator
Ring toss.
[23:15] Narrator
A game in which rings are
thrown to win prizes.
SIGN Prize
[23:19] Narrator
However, the prize is often
larger than the ring,
[23:23] Narrator
making it unwinnable, or
moving just to piss you off.
[23:25] Narrator
They clearly have no intention
of letting you win.
[23:28] Olivia
I'm so pissed.
[23:29] Hanako
Do it, Kasumi!
[23:31] Kasumi
I don't need this shit!
SIGN I don't need this shit!
[23:36] Hanako
You'd seriously hammer it?!
SIGN You'd seriously hammer it?!
SIGN Asobi Asobase
3 - A Battle That Must Be Won | Puppets | Betting My Life
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN A Battle That Must Be Won
SIGN Pastimers Club
[01:35] Olivia
Issei no se, two!
[01:38] Hanako
I lost.
[01:40] Olivia
You owe me a drink.
[01:42] Hanako
Oh, fine.
[01:43] Kasumi
Uh...
[01:45] Kasumi
I don't think we should
do that kind of thing.
[01:49] Olivia
What kind of thing?
[01:51] Kasumi
L-Like, penalties where the loser
gets ordered to go do stuff.
[01:55] Kasumi
I don't think it's good.
[01:57] Olivia
You tried to make me teach
you English at first, too.
[02:01] Kasumi
N-No, I'm just saying it's bad to
order people around to go do stuff.
[02:05] Hanako
I don't mind, though.
[02:07] Kasumi
No!
[02:08] Kasumi
Hanako-san, it always starts off simple,
but it can escalate before you know it!
SIGN Pout
[02:15] Hanako
Oh, shoot.
[02:18] Hanako
Kasumi-san's just being nice, Olivia.
[02:21] Hanako
It can get out of control and
become vicious, you know?
[02:27] Olivia
I-I never had that kind of intention.
[02:31] Olivia
I just wanted to make it fun.
[02:34] Olivia
But... Sorry.
[02:39] Kasumi
Well, I killed the vibe, too.
[02:43] Kasumi
Then you can choose a penalty, as long as
it's not ordering people to go do stuff.
SIGN Mweeeheehee
[02:53] Hanako
She seems so happy.
[02:56] Olivia
Oh, hey, there's a game penalty that's
customary where my Mom and Dad are from.
[03:01] Hanako
A penalty from your parents' country?
[03:03] Olivia
Yeah.
[03:04] Kasumi
What's the penalty?
[03:05] Olivia
The loser has to sniff the winner's armpit.
[03:09] Hanako
What the hell?!
[03:10] Hanako
Is that really a custom where you're from?!
[03:12] Hanako
It's not just something your family does?!
[03:14] Olivia
No, it's not.
[03:15] Olivia
It's a traditional thing in our culture.
[03:18] Hanako
No way, I swear, it's only in your family.
[03:20] Hanako
You can't turn it into something so grand.
[03:22] Kasumi
I-I can't object to culture.
[03:25] Olivia
Yay.
[03:25] Hanako
Kasumi-san's a slave to culture!
[03:28] Olivia
Okay, let's play issei no se.
[03:30] Hanako
Fine.
[03:31] Olivia
You first, Hanako.
[03:32] Hanako
Issei no se... three!
[03:34] Hanako
Yay, I win.
[03:36] Olivia
What are you talking about?
[03:37] Olivia
In this case, the winner takes the penalty.
[03:42] Hanako
Fine, I'll sniff Kasumi-san's first.
[03:44] Kasumi
I-I'll pass.
[03:47] Olivia
You can't.
[03:48] Olivia
You have to let Hanako take her penalty.
SIGN Sniff
[03:53] Hanako
It doesn't smell!
[03:58] Hanako
You're okay, Kasumi-san.
You didn't smell at all.
[04:02] Kasumi
O-Okay.
[04:03] ---
Okay, next!
SIGN Sniff Sniff
SIGN Apocrine sweat glands!
[04:08] Olivia
Huh?
[04:09] Olivia
What's apocrine?
[04:10] Kasumi
Uh... You don't need to
know if you don't already.
[04:13] Kasumi
Huh? Why is Hanako-san making that motion?
[04:18] Hanako
Now I know why my cat grinds
its nose when Dad farts.
[04:23] Hanako
It's when it's extreme.
[04:26] Hanako
It's when it's extreme!
[04:28] Olivia
D-Did I smell bad?
[04:32] Hanako
Huh? No?
[04:34] Hanako
No, I can't tell her!
[04:35] Hanako
It's a fact too cruel for a
lady's gentle heart to take!
[04:39] Hanako
Meow.
[04:41] Hanako
I'm pretending to be a kitty.
[04:42] Olivia
Oh, really?
[04:44] Kasumi
That was totally not a "meow" pose.
[04:47] Olivia
Okay, round two.
[04:49] Olivia
Oh, but no raising two fingers and
[04:52] Olivia
saying "one" or raising one
finger and saying "six."
[04:54] Hanako
I have to win...
[04:55] Olivia
I have to win this battle!
[04:58] Hanako
Kasumi-san, let's form an alliance.
[05:00] Hanako
The two of us both raise two fingers
so we'll have at least four.
[05:05] Hanako
Then, if we say either two
or three, we won't lose.
[05:09] Kasumi
R-Right.
[05:11] Kasumi
Let's go with that.
[05:12] Kasumi
I'd rather not get sniffed anymore,
either, if I can avoid it.
[05:16] Kasumi
Issei no se... three.
[05:20] Hanako
Issei no se... two!
[05:25] Olivia
Issei no se... five!
[05:30] Kasumi
D-Dodged a bullet.
[05:34] Kasumi
Kasumi-san, it's okay if Olivia
has to take the penalty.
[05:40] Hanako
Is she...
[05:42] Kasumi
...on to us?
[05:42] Kasumi
No, but if we don't guess
right, it doesn't matter.
[05:47] Kasumi
Issei no se... three!
[05:50] Olivia
You got it, Kasumi.
[05:52] Olivia
Hanako-san...
[05:55] Olivia
She's not raising any!
[05:57] Kasumi
U-Unbelievable.
[06:00] Kasumi
The friendship of a girl is more
fragile than a microscope slide.
[06:03] Olivia
Yay, you're taking the penalty, Kasumi.
[06:07] Kasumi
You don't want to get
sniffed, do you, Hanako-san?
[06:10] Hanako
Grinding your nose is a good life lesson.
[06:18] Olivia
Here you go, Kasumi.
[06:22] Kasumi
U-Um...
[06:24] Kasumi
Err...
[06:27] Kasumi
I'm going to go buy drinks for the two of you.
[06:29] Kasumi
So please spare me.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Puppets
[06:37] Sensei
This is a shopping scene.
[06:40] Sensei
"Can I try it on?" is "Can I try it on?"
[06:44] Hanako
Uh oh.
[06:46] Hanako
The candy I ate during break
period still hasn't melted.
[06:49] Hanako
I can't chew it down now.
[06:51] Hanako
But I guess it should be okay
as long as I don't get picked.
[06:54] Sensei
Let's see...
[06:55] Sensei
Let's have you translate this to English.
[06:58] Sensei
Honda-san.
[06:59] Hanako
Okay.
[07:02] Hanako
It's like she's doing it on purpose.
[07:04] Hanako
I have to keep it under my tongue.
[07:06] Hanako
I'll take you...
[07:09] Sensei
Why does she have her jaw out?
[07:11] Hanako
It's...
[07:12] [SONG] Text
Clop
[07:15] Hanako
S-Stay calm...
[07:18] Hanako
Suck it in as you say "how much?"
and put it back under your tongue.
SIGN Clank
[07:27] Sensei
H-Honda-san?!
[07:29] Sensei
Are you okay, Honda-san?!
SIGN Faculty Room
[07:32] Sensei
Please don't eat candy during class.
[07:36] Hanako
Okay.
[07:37] Sensei
That was a close one.
[07:39] Hanako
Yes.
[07:40] Hanako
I'm sorry.
[07:43] Sensei
I came to work at a girls' school
because I was afraid of boys,
[07:47] Sensei
but girls are scary, too.
[07:49] Sensei
I avoided boys because I'm afraid
of them, and now I'm still single.
[07:54] Sensei
Almost all of the teachers at
this girls' school are women.
[07:57] Sensei
I don't have a chance to meet anyone.
[07:59] Sensei
I wonder if I'm going to die alone.
[08:02] Sensei
I get worried these days.
[08:04] Hanako
Hey, Sensei, can I go to my club?
[08:07] Sensei
Right.
[08:08] Sensei
You're in the soft tennis
club, right, Honda-san?
[08:11] Hanako
No, I left the soft tennis club recently.
[08:14] Hanako
I'm in the Pastimers Club.
[08:16] Sensei
Pastimers?!
SIGN Pastimers Club
[08:18] Sensei
M-May I come with you?
[08:22] Hanako
So I brought Sensei with me.
[08:24] Sensei
Th-Thanks for having me.
[08:28] Kasumi
Um...
[08:29] Kasumi
Did it become such a big deal that
a piece of candy nearly killed her?
[08:32] Olivia
To be fair, I thought her mandrake
shriek would kill me, too.
[08:37] Sensei
Huh?
[08:38] Sensei
Oh, no, it's not about that.
[08:39] Sensei
The candy thing's fine now.
[08:41] Sensei
You study pleasure seekers
in this club, right?
[08:45] Olivia
Huh?
[08:46] Kasumi
Er, yeah.
[08:47] Sensei
D-Do you do marriage matchmaking?
[08:52] Kasumi
Err, no.
[08:54] Hanako
Marriage matchmaking? Middle schoolers?
[08:55] Sensei
So what do you do, then?
[08:58] Olivia
Kendama.
[08:59] Kasumi
Hagoita.
[09:00] Olivia
We played issei no se, too.
[09:05] Sensei
That sounds fun.
[09:09] Hanako
She seems blatantly disappointed.
[09:12] Kasumi
A-Are you looking to do matchmaking?
[09:15] Sensei
Oh, err...
[09:17] Sensei
Y-Yeah.
[09:19] Olivia
Cute.
[09:20] Kasumi
Cute.
[09:21] Hanako
Squee!
[09:22] Sensei
I've been at girls' schools
ever since preschool.
[09:25] Sensei
I thought it'd be okay, since
I had fun being around girls.
[09:30] Sensei
And then I realized I'm older
than my mom was when I was born.
[09:35] Hanako
Were you spirited away or something?
[09:38] Sensei
Yeah, maybe, for, like, twenty years.
[09:41] Olivia
So long!
[09:41] Sensei
I thought maybe pleasure
seekers at a girls' school
[09:45] Sensei
might know of some amazing
ways to find boyfriends.
[09:48] Sensei
But it's a bit too late now, huh?
[09:50] Olivia
Not at all.
[09:52] Olivia
Let's get you an awesome lover.
[09:56] Hanako
Are you sure about this?
[09:58] Hanako
We can't even make it to a mixer.
[10:00] Hanako
Are you sure we can find a
boyfriend for someone else?
[10:03] Olivia
Olivia-chan just talked out of her ass.
[10:06] Kasumi
So what kind of person do you like?
[10:09] Sensei
Masumi-sama!
[10:11] Kasumi
She's going nuts!
[10:13] Olivia
Do you know that person?
[10:14] Sensei
I love shoujo manga!
[10:16] Olivia
Oh, I see.
[10:17] Sensei
I'm in love with the idea
of being given a bouquet of
[10:20] Sensei
purple flowers by a man
strutting out of a Porsche.
[10:24] Sensei
And I absolutely adore good-looking
engineer men with superpowers
[10:27] Sensei
who watch over Earth from the moon.
[10:30] Hanako
Can we even find someone
like that on planet Earth?
[10:33] Kasumi
I-I heard people meet each
other online these days.
[10:36] Sensei
Online?
[10:38] Sensei
I don't know if I can do it.
[10:39] Sensei
Someone hijacked my e-commerce
site account the other day.
[10:42] Kasumi
I think I get it now.
[10:44] Hanako
Oh, I'm on Twitter.
[10:46] Olivia
Really? Let me see.
[10:48] Hanako
Hang on.
[10:49] Hanako
Here.
SIGN A tight muse with a love for world peace
[10:53] Olivia
I like your profile picture.
[10:56] Olivia
Would she get angry if
I said it looks just like her?
[10:58] Kasumi
Wh-Whoever made this is a genius.
[11:03] Hanako
Praise me more!
[11:06] Olivia
Oh, she made it?
[11:08] Hanako
Want to make one, too, Sensei?
[11:09] Hanako
I can do it for you right away.
[11:11] Sensei
Okay, this is my email address.
[11:13] Hanako
What about your password?
[11:14] Sensei
"I want to get married."
[11:17] Hanako
There, done.
SIGN Single Sensei
[11:19] Olivia
There's nothing here.
[11:20] Sensei
I can't see.
[11:21] Hanako
We have to post some stuff.
[11:23] Kasumi
Come to think of it, Sensei's
an English teacher.
[11:26] Kasumi
I need to take advantage of this opportunity.
[11:29] Kasumi
C-Could you add this line to the profile?
[11:33] Hanako
Huh? Sure.
[11:34] Hanako
Let's take a picture of you, then, Sensei.
[11:36] Hanako
Here, hold onto this.
[11:37] Hanako
And make yourself look seductive,
like in a fancy Hollywood movie.
SIGN Flash <3
[11:44] Hanako
That'll do it.
[11:45] Sensei
By the way, what is this?
[11:46] Hanako
A titty spinning top that I found
at the flea market the other day.
[11:50] Sensei
Wait, please don't use that photo.
[11:53] Hanako
I already made it your profile picture.
[11:56] Sensei
How did it turn out?
SIGN Single Sensei @CHISATO30 I'm the Pastimers Club supervisor <3 Planning to post the club's activity reports BTW, looking for a boyfriend
[12:00] [SONG] ---
Single Sensei
@CHISATO30
I'm the Pastimers Club supervisor <3
Planning to post the club's activity reports
BTW, looking for a boyfriend
[12:03] Sensei
Huh?
[12:04] Sensei
Pastimers Club supervisor?
[12:06] Kasumi
We know her password and email
address, so we can post on it, too.
[12:10] Hanako
Yeah.
[12:11] Hanako
Let's write tons of fun stories
from the Pastimers Club.
[12:14] Sensei
Wait, is it just me, or has
my account been hijacked?
[12:18] Kasumi
We'll be in your care, Sensei.
[12:22] Sensei
Huh?
[12:23] Sensei
Is "Thank you, so will I" the
only acceptable reply here?
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Betting My Life
SIGN Student Council Office
[12:35] President
Okay, now that you have five members,
we'll recognize it as a club.
[12:39] President
Please use the vacant room on the
third floor as your club room.
[12:42] Shogi President
Um...
[12:43] Shogi President
Actually, there's a club called the
Pastimers Club using that room.
[12:50] President
Huh?
[12:51] President
Say what?
[12:52] President
I haven't heard about this.
[12:54] President
Then...
[12:56] President
I'll have the Pastimers Club people leave.
SIGN Pastimers Club
[13:04] Hanako
I want to go outside.
[13:06] Olivia
Where outside?
[13:08] Hanako
Shibuya.
[13:08] Olivia
That was quick.
[13:09] Sensei
You should go hang out there on Sunday.
[13:12] Hanako
You don't get it!
[13:13] Hanako
You don't get it, Sensei!
[13:15] Hanako
That's not the point!
[13:17] Hanako
It has to be an extracurricular activity!
[13:20] Sensei
I wonder if there's a local history
museum or anything in Shibuya.
[13:24] Hanako
And I want to go for a manicure
or something on the way home.
[13:27] Sensei
You won't get in in your school uniform.
[13:28] Hanako
Sensei!
[13:29] Hanako
I'm serious about this!
[13:31] Hanako
Doesn't it sound super pleasure seeker-ey
to go for a manicure in uniform cosplay
[13:35] Hanako
after an extracurricular activity?
[13:37] Sensei
I don't think you're much
of a pleasure seeker,
[13:40] Sensei
trying so openly to get
permission from your teacher.
[13:43] Olivia
Hanako can't hang out at the entertainment
district without some kind of reason.
[13:47] PA
Higuchi-sensei, please
come to the faculty room.
[13:51] Sensei
They're calling.
[13:52] Sensei
I'll be right back.
[13:54] Narrator
And then what happened?
[13:59] Olivia
Sensei, are you—
[14:02] Hanako
Student Council President?
[14:03] Kasumi
Did you need something?
[14:04] President
Um, may we speak?
[14:07] Hanako
What's up?
[14:08] President
I have to explain properly.
[14:09] President
Only a peaceful resolution is
in line with my philosophy.
[14:13] President
Would you please leave?
[14:17] Olivia
D-D-Did we do something?
[14:20] Hanako
We haven't caused the school any trouble yet!
[14:23] President
Yet?
[14:23] President
Huh?
[14:24] President
Weird, they're confused.
[14:26] President
Maybe I didn't say it right.
[14:28] President
I have to say it more nicely.
[14:30] President
Umm...
[14:31] President
If anything, it's because
you aren't doing anything.
[14:35] President
You haven't submitted your request
form to use this classroom, have you?
[14:40] Kasumi
I-I forgot.
[14:43] Hanako
Are you kidding me?!
[14:45] Hanako
Um...
[14:46] Hanako
Could we get permission now, then?
[14:49] Olivia
Y-Yeah!
[14:50] Olivia
We'll submit the form now!
[14:51] Kasumi
I'm sorry it's late!
[14:54] Hanako
President, the form! Now!
[14:55] Hanako
Give us the permission form, por favor!
[14:57] Kasumi
She's trying to win her over by force.
[15:00] President
Actually, there's a group that
submitted their form just earlier.
[15:04] Olivia
Who?
[15:05] President
Please don't provoke them
too much when you enter.
[15:08] President
Please, come in.
[15:10] President
The members of the Shogi Club.
[15:13] Kasumi
Th-They're acting the part!
[15:15] Olivia
Such a gloomy bunch for
such a spectacular entry.
[15:17] Olivia
What's going on?
[15:19] Shogi President
This place is going to be the
Shogi Club's room from now on.
[15:23] Hanako
No way!
[15:24] Hanako
Please use another room!
[15:26] President
I need to respond with compassion
in situations like this one.
[15:30] President
I'm sorry, there isn't a single
other classroom available.
[15:35] Hanako
This person's completely heartless!
[15:38] Kasumi
I'm sorry, guys.
[15:40] Kasumi
It's all because I forgot to submit the form.
[15:42] Hanako
Kasumi-san...
[15:44] Hanako
W-Wait, President, hear me out!
[15:48] President
Sure, go ahead.
[15:49] Hanako
Shogi's that sport where you
fire lasers from your bum.
[15:52] Hanako
It's not safe to do in a classroom.
[15:55] Olivia
Huh?
[15:56] Shogi President
Huh?
[15:57] Olivia
You can take a break, Hanako.
[16:00] Hanako
Huh?
[16:01] Hanako
Was that not it?
[16:02] Kasumi
That's a sport that actually*
exists inside Hanako-san's mind?
[16:04] President
Um...
[16:06] Shogi President
Hold on, President.
[16:07] Shogi President
Leave this to us.
[16:10] Shogi President
Members of the Pastimers Club, why
don't we settle this with a pastime?
[16:16] Shogi President
If you win, feel free to use this room.
[16:20] Shogi President
And if we win, we'll have
you leave this classroom.
[16:27] A
President...
[16:28] Hanako
A-All right.
[16:30] Shogi President
That's the spirit.
[16:33] Shogi President
You can go ahead and choose a pastime.
[16:36] A
President, President!
[16:38] Shogi President
You may all be flustered over
this sudden turn of events,
[16:43] Shogi President
but let's take them down on their own
turf and achieve ultimate victory!
[16:48] A
Say what?
[16:48] B
This president's good at pep talks.
[16:50] Hanako
So we'll play shoe launching.
[16:54] Hanako
I'll explain the rules in detail now.
[16:57] Hanako
Whoever launches their shoe furthest
from this line is the winner.
[17:00] Shogi President
What rules? She just repeated*
the name of the game.
[17:03] Hanako
I avoided brainy games for your sake.
[17:06] Kasumi
Y-Yay.
[17:07] Hanako
Rock-paper-scissors.
[17:09] Hanako
Okay, I'll go first.
[17:10] Shogi President
Okay.
[17:23] A
I think we can win.
[17:25] Hanako
I'm sorry, I'll commit seppuku now.
[17:28] Kasumi
Hanako-san, that might be one way
to die, but it's not seppuku.
[17:31] A
I-I'll do my best.
[17:36] Shogi President
That was godly!
[17:38] A
Godly? Thank you.
[17:40] Hanako
I-I lost to that?
[17:42] Kasumi
I'll go now.
[17:44] Olivia
Launch it into outer space, Kasumi.
[17:52] Hanako
A godly kick, Kasumi-san!
[17:54] Kasumi
I let out a weird sound.
[17:59] B
I'm sorry, President.
[18:02] Shogi President
Don't worry.
[18:02] Olivia
Here comes Olivia!
[18:13] Hanako
Olivia for the win!
[18:17] Olivia
You never said no swings.
[18:20] A
P-President...
[18:22] Shogi President
If that's how you want to play...
[18:28] Shogi President
You never said no bikes.
[18:38] Hanako
This person's amazing.
[18:44] A
President!
[18:47] A
President!
[18:52] Shogi President
Pastimes are serious
business, Pastimers Club.
[18:58] Shogi President
You must risk your life for your pastimes.
[19:02] Hanako
Y-You win.
[19:06] A
Are you okay, President?
[19:08] Shogi President
Can we stop by the hospital?
[19:10] B
I'll follow you for life!
[19:12] Narrator
And so the Pastimers Club was
pummeled into the ground.
[19:18] Narrator
But because the Shogi Club president had
compound fractures all over her body
[19:21] Narrator
and was forced to be home-schooled,
SIGN Pastimers Club
[19:24] Narrator
the other members of the Shogi Club gathered
at the President's place for their meets.
[19:32] Hanako
I think we took it too far, don't you think?
[19:33] Olivia
Yeah, we took it too far.
[19:35] Kasumi
They were way too athletic
to be in the Shogi Club, huh?
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Japanese Pastimes, Please
[21:20] Olivia
What's today's game going to be?
SIGN Hide-and-Seek
[21:23] Narrator
Hide-and-seek.
[21:24] Kasumi
Hide-and-seek?
[21:25] Narrator
Said to have originated from a
"kakurebou" at an unknown village.
[21:31] Narrator
Kakurebou is a ritual whereby
one is deemed an adult
[21:34] Narrator
if they are able to hide from
the bears in the forest for a night.
[21:42] Kasumi
Back to the forest you go.
[21:43] Kasumi
There, there.
[21:45] Narrator
Because bears are the messengers of the
gods, it is forbidden to hurt them,
[21:50] Narrator
and one may not bring weapons to the ritual.
[21:56] Kasumi
There, there, good boy.
[21:59] Narrator
One generally enters the mountains
naked for this ritual.
[22:06] Hanako
I'm spoiled for marriage!
[22:07] Narrator
The Meiji government decreed this ritual
banned due to the many lives it cost,
[22:13] Narrator
but there are records of it having
been done into the early Showa era.
[22:20] Narrator
Or something.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
4 - Lower Body Lasers | Pots and Kettles | Illegal Occupation | Butt Play
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] ---
SIGN Lower Body Lasers
[01:33] (Flashback) Hanako
Hey, Maeda, what's this?
[01:35] (Flashback) Maeda
This is a back scratcher.
[01:38] (Flashback) Hanako
How do you use it?
[01:39] (Flashback) Maeda
Like this.
[01:43] (Flashback) Hanako
That's amazing.
[01:45] (Flashback) Hanako
You know everything, Maeda.
[01:47] Maeda
I must teach Hanako
anything she asks to know.
[01:52] Maeda
I can't ever say "I don't know" to her.
[01:56] Maeda
Thus, even that one time...
[01:57] (Flashback) Hanako
Hey, Maeda...
[01:59] (Flashback) Maeda
What is it, Hanako-sama?
[02:00] (Flashback) Hanako
What's shogi?
[02:04] Maeda
"Shogi is a game where one moves their
pieces until they capture the enemy King."
[02:09] Maeda
I suppose I could just tell her that...
[02:12] Maeda
But I cannot.
[02:13] Maeda
For if I did...
[02:15] Hanako
"Teach me that game, then."
[02:18] Maeda
...she would say.
[02:20] Maeda
Alas, I don't know the rules of shogi.
[02:27] Maeda
So...
[02:28] (Flashback) Hanako
Hey, what's shogi?
[02:30] (Flashback) Maeda
A sport wherein one fires
laser beams from their butt.
[02:33] (Flashback) Hanako
Show me.
[02:34] (Flashback) Maeda
Yes, ma'am.
[02:37] (Flashback) Mom
Oh my God, Maeda-san, what the hell?!
[02:41] Maeda
Since then, Hanako-sama
would often beg of me...
[02:46] (Flashback) Hanako
Hey, hey, Maeda, do shogi!
[02:48] (Flashback) Hanako
I can't sleep until you fire
a laser from your butt.
[02:53] (Flashback) Hanako
Maeda, show me your beam!
[02:56] Maeda
But since a week ago, Hanako-sama's
tone has suddenly changed.
[03:03] Hanako
You can stop with the beam now.
[03:05] Hanako
What's the deal with your butthole?
[03:08] Hanako
I'll pay for your surgery.
[03:10] Hanako
Have them remove it for you.
[03:12] Maeda
Hanako-sama...
[03:13] Maeda
You were so delighted by my butt
beam until just a week ago.
[03:17] Brother
I'm seriously worried about
my sister's mental health,
[03:20] Brother
being delighted by that
until just a week ago.
[03:23] Maeda
Welcome home, Kentarou-sama.
[03:26] Maeda
Say, has Hanako-sama taken an umbrella?
[03:29] Brother
Dunno.
[03:30] Brother
The weather forecast said it
would be sunny, so probably not.
[03:35] Maeda
As I do not have a license,
I shall go fetch her on foot.
[03:39] Brother
This guy's been at our place forever...
[03:41] Brother
But what does he do exactly?
[03:46] Olivia
I didn't bring an umbrella.
[03:48] Olivia
What about you guys?
[03:49] Kasumi
I always keep a foldable umbrella with me.
[03:52] Kasumi
What about you, Hanako?
[03:53] Hanako
I forgot.
[03:54] Olivia
What do we do?
[03:57] Hanako
Want to wear garbage bags?
[04:00] Olivia
Why are Hanako's ideas always so hobotastic
when she's apparently so rich?
[04:05] Kasumi
M-Maybe we can fit three
people under my umbrella.
[04:09] Hanako
Not under a foldable umbrella, I don't think.
[04:13] Olivia
I wonder if someone could
lend us an umbrella.
[04:15] Maeda
Hanako-sama.
[04:18] Kasumi
Hanako-san!
[04:19] Kasumi
Stab him with this!
[04:20] Kasumi
Hurry!
[04:21] Kasumi
Kill him quick!
[04:22] Hanako
Kasumi-san, calm down!
[04:26] Hanako
H-He works for us at home.
[04:29] Hanako
He's... a thing.
[04:29] Maeda
I'm Maeda.
[04:30] Kasumi
What do you mean, "a thing"?
[04:32] Maeda
Hanako-sama, I've brought you an umbrella.
[04:34] Hanako
Thanks.
[04:37] Hanako
Kasumi-san, are you okay?
[04:39] Kasumi
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
[04:41] Kasumi
I have a fear of men.
[04:44] Hanako
Is this better?
[04:46] Kasumi
I'm sorry. I'm sorry,.
I can't deal with weirdos either.
[04:49] Narrator
And then what happened?
[04:50] Maeda
Are these ladies your school friends?
[04:53] Hanako
Yeah. Olivia and Kasumi.
[04:55] Maeda
Olivia.
[04:56] Maeda
That's a foreign name.
[04:58] Maeda
I enjoy traveling abroad.
[05:02] Maeda
Which country are you from?
[05:06] Olivia
I-It's a secret.
[05:12] Maeda
I feel like your friends are afraid
of me because of you, Hanako-sama!
[05:15] Hanako
It's because you just happen to look skeevy!
[05:20] Olivia
Thanks for the umbrella.
[05:22] Hanako
Sure.
[05:22] Kasumi
You tolerate having that thing
in your life, Hanako-san?
[05:27] Olivia
That "thing"?
[05:27] Kasumi
I never knew you hated men so much.
[05:31] Kasumi
I-I mean...
[05:32] Kasumi
I heard men fire laser beam things from
their crotch when they're turned on.
[05:37] Hanako
Didn't you know, Kasumi-san?
[05:39] Hanako
Laser beams come out of the butt.
[05:40] Kasumi
Really?
[05:42] Kasumi
I never knew.
[05:43] Kasumi
Oh jeez, I'm embarrassed.
[05:45] Hanako
And it destroys the roof
sometimes. It's so dangerous.
[05:49] Sensei
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
[05:51] Sensei
Who are you?!
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Pots and Kettles
[05:58] Person A
Chisato, long time no see!
[06:01] Sensei
Yeah, long time.
[06:03] Person B
It's been about six years, hasn't it?
[06:05] Person A
You haven't changed one bit.
[06:06] Sensei
R-Really?
[06:07] Person B
Yeah.
[06:08] Person B
You're just like you were back in college.
[06:10] Sensei
I wonder how the others are doing.
[06:13] Person A
I think three-fifths of
them have gotten married.
[06:17] Sensei
R-Really?
[06:22] Person A
What a long sigh.
[06:24] Person B
You work at a girls'
school, right, Chisa-chan?
[06:26] Person B
Do you ever meet anyone?
[06:27] Sensei
With men?
[06:28] Sensei
Nah, not at all.
[06:30] Sensei
Oh, I'm a supervisor for
a club at school, though.
[06:33] Person A
That sounds really teachery.
[06:35] Person A
What kind of club?
[06:36] Person A
Basketball? Volleyball?
[06:36] Person A
I bet concert band or
choir would suit you, too.
[06:39] Sensei
It's a club called the Pastimers Club.
[06:43] Person A
Huh.
[06:44] Person A
Wow.
[06:45] Person B
I've been working at a girls' school
for the past three years, too.
[06:48] Sensei
Really?
[06:49] Sensei
Where?
[06:50] Person B
Have you heard of Sei Shukujo Academy?
[06:52] Sensei
I have.
[06:54] Sensei
It's that school with all
well-to-do girls, right?
[06:56] Person B
One of the Four Lords of
Pastimers is at my school.
[07:00] Person B
I'll hook you up sometime.
[07:02] ---
Okay.
[07:15] Sensei
What's a Lord of Pastimers?
SIGN Pastimers Club
[07:22] Sensei
Guys, sorry I'm late.
[07:24] Sensei
What're you up to?
[07:26] Hanako
Playing Old Maid.
[07:26] Sensei
Huh.
[07:29] Sensei
Hey, girls...
[07:31] Sensei
Have you heard of the
Four Lords of Pastimers?
[07:37] Hanako
What's that?
[07:39] Sensei
You wouldn't, would you?
[07:41] Sensei
Okay.
[07:42] Sensei
See, one of my friends also
works at a girls' school.
[07:47] Sensei
We met to catch up the other day,
[07:48] Sensei
and she told me that one of the Four
Lords of Pastimers is a student there.
[07:52] Kasumi
Sensei has some weird friends.
[07:56] Hanako
What's a Lord of Pastimers?
[07:58] Olivia
I bet they're stupid.
[07:59] Kasumi
Hey!
[08:00] Olivia
I bet they only exist in that person's brain.
[08:03] Hanako
Maybe she's, like, twice the
age of an eighth grader,
[08:07] Hanako
and now she's thinking like one again.
[08:10] Sensei
They're really roasting her.
[08:12] Kasumi
Maybe there are some requirements, like
winning in a national kendama tournament.
[08:16] Hanako
There's a lot of different pastimes, though.
[08:18] Olivia
Can you become one of the Four
Lords just playing kendama?
[08:21] Kasumi
I guess kendama alone wouldn't be enough.
[08:23] Hanako
How accomplished do you have to be, then?
[08:25] Kasumi
I wonder... I can't say.
[08:27] Sensei
It sounds like a proper club meeting.
[08:31] Sensei
Hello?
[08:32] Person A
Chisato? Are you at school?
[08:33] Sensei
Yeah, at the club.
[08:35] Person A
You know that Lord of Pastimers
I was talking about?
[08:39] Sensei
Yeah?
[08:39] Person A
She just headed out your way.
[08:42] Person A
She should be there soon.
[08:43] Sensei
Huh, okay.
[08:45] Sensei
Got it.
[08:46] Sensei
Thanks.
[08:49] Sensei
The Lord is coming.
[08:51] Kasumi
That's what you were talking about just now?!
[08:53] Sensei
Huh?
[08:54] Sensei
Yeah.
[08:55] Olivia
Which school, by the way?
[08:56] Sensei
Sei Shukujo Academy.
[08:59] Hanako
That super well-to-do school?
[09:00] Olivia
One of the Lords might
actually be there, then.
[09:02] Kasumi
I know, right?
[09:03] Kasumi
I bet she's super proper, too.
[09:04] Kasumi
Wow, you all believe me as
soon as I bring that up?
[09:06] Kasumi
You're such slaves to status.
[09:17] Kasumi
H-Holy crap.
[09:20] Hanako
Uh... Don't you get in trouble
at school, looking like that?
[09:24] Lord
It's my actual hair color.
[09:26] Lord
This butterfly landed on
me and became my friend.
[09:28] Kasumi
She's lying!
[09:29] Olivia
Wh-What about your makeup?
[09:31] Lord
I'm not wearing any.
[09:32] Kasumi
That's a lie, too!
[09:33] Kasumi
B-But you wear your uniform properly, huh?
[09:36] Lord
Huh?
[09:37] Lord
I don't get it. Who doesn't
follow the school dress code?
[09:40] Kasumi
Why is that the one thing
you're obedient about?
[09:42] Sensei
Hey, I'm Ando-sensei's friend.
[09:45] Lord
Oh, yeah, Ando-chan.
[09:47] Lord
I didn't feel like coming, but
she knows my secret, so I had to.
[09:49] Sensei
I heard you're one of the
Four Lords of Pastimers.
[09:53] Lord
Oh, that.
[09:55] Lord
I, like, slept with almost all the
guys from the boys' school nearby,
[09:58] Lord
and now that's what they call me.
[10:00] Kasumi
Wait, you mean Lord of Pleasure Seeking*?!
[10:03] Olivia
H-How's Hanako reacting?
[10:05] Hanako Right
Awesome! Awesome!
[10:07] Hanako Left
No! She's a slut!
[10:09] Hanako Left
Slut, slut, slut!
[10:10] Olivia
I see two weird creatures above her head.
[10:14] Olivia
Kasumi's soul is escaping from her mouth.
[10:17] Olivia
But you can't keep up with school if
you're always fooling around, can you?
[10:21] Lord
Studying at home is totally lame.
[10:25] Hanako
She's a dumbass.
[10:25] Olivia
Yup, of course she is.
[10:28] Lord
You can pick up most of it
just listening in class.
[10:32] Lord
I made the top 100 in the national
mock exam the other day, too.
[10:36] Hanako
I'm going to go nuts with jealousy!
[10:38] Olivia
C-Can you do kendama?
[10:41] Kasumi
Olivia-san?!
[10:42] Kasumi
Aren't you sad trying to gain*
superiority over kendama?!
[10:50] Lord
You're just catching the
ball. This is boring.
[10:53] Olivia
O-Okay.
[10:54] Hanako
I-I know...
[10:56] Hanako
Olivia, Kasumi-san, do that makeup on me!
[11:01] Olivia
Nah...
[11:01] Kasumi
I think we should give up.
[11:03] Hanako
No!
[11:03] Hanako
Not wearing makeup is tantamount to
going into battle unarmed and naked!
[11:08] Hanako
Only by wearing steel armor as she
does can we engage in fair battle!
[11:13] Olivia
I-If you insist...
[11:16] Olivia
All right.
[11:16] Kasumi
I'll do my best.
[11:19] Olivia
T-Trust me, we did our best, Hanako.
[11:22] Olivia
You put on color contacts, too.
[11:23] Kasumi
W-We've done everything we
could with our skill level.
[11:27] Hanako
Like, ohmygawd, girl.
[11:31] Lord
Wasn't there a Batman villain
that looks like that?
[11:34] Kasumi
There was!
[11:37] Hanako
Do you think you can defeat
me, Lord of Pleasure Seeking?
[11:42] Hanako
I can handle her myself,
Kasumi-san and Olivia-chan.
[11:44] Kasumi
Stop it!
[11:46] Kasumi
Now you both look and sound
like a low-level enemy!
[11:50] Lord
You can have my cleanser, Hana-chan.
[11:52] Hanako
Huh?
[11:53] Hanako
Th-Thanks.
[11:54] Lord
I'm going now.
[11:55] Hanako
Okay.
[11:58] Hanako
She was kind of nice.
[12:00] Kasumi
Yeah.
[12:01] Olivia
Yes.
[12:02] Sensei
Honda-san, be sure to wash your face
quickly without looking in the mirror.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Illegal Occupation
SIGN Choujuu Giga
[12:12] Hanako
What're you looking at, Olivia?
[12:14] Olivia
Choujuu Giga.
[12:14] Olivia
The animal drawings are super cute.
[12:17] Kasumi
Are you interested in this
kind of stuff, Olivia-san?
[12:19] Olivia
Yeah.
[12:19] Olivia
I love ukiyoe, too.
[12:22] Hanako
Was Choujuu Giga that one that's said
to be the oldest manga in Japan?
[12:26] Hanako
You have classy taste for
a middle schooler, Olivia.
[12:29] Hanako
Hey, what do you think they're doing here?
[12:31] Kasumi
Sumo?
[12:32] Hanako
I guess?
[12:33] Hanako
Do you think they're all males?
[12:34] Olivia
How can you tell they're all male?
[12:37] Hanako
I mean, only men can do sumo wrestling.
[12:43] Olivia
But I wanted to become a sumo
wrestler when I grew up!
[12:47] Hanako
Really?
[12:48] Kasumi
You didn't notice from what you saw on TV?
[12:50] Olivia
I thought they were only
airing the men's games
[12:52] Olivia
because they're naked from the waist up.
[12:56] Olivia
I thought girls sumo wrestle secretly
in a paradise-like place, half naked.
[13:04] Kasumi
That's Olivia-san's idea of paradise?
[13:07] Kasumi**
You might not be able to do it as a job,
but anyone can sumo wrestle for fun.
[13:11] Olivia
For fun?
[13:12] Olivia
You do real sumo wrestling for fun?
[13:14] Kasumi
You could, but we don't have
anything to use as loincloths.
[13:19] Hanako
Arm wrestling, thumb wrestling,
paper wrestling...
[13:22] Hanako
There's a lot of games that
have the word "sumo" in it.
[13:24] Olivia
I want to do something where you
use your hands and shout "nokotta!"
[13:27] Hanako
How about teoshi sumo?
[13:28] Olivia
What's teoshi sumo?
[13:30] Hanako
You don't know?
[13:31] Hanako
Kasumi-san, can you come stand in front?
[13:34] Hanako
You put your hands together like
this, and you shove and dodge.
[13:37] Hanako
The first person to lose their footing loses.
[13:40] Kasumi
You can only touch your opponent's hands.
[13:43] Olivia
It sounds so fun,
like frolicking in paradise.
[13:46] Hanako
Kasumi-san and I will
go first, so just watch.
[13:50] Olivia
Okay.
[14:06] Olivia
It's just like what she
described, except it's not.
[14:11] Hanako
Kasumi-san's good.
[14:13] Kasumi
Hanako-san, you aren't as good as I thought.
[14:18] Kasumi
Maybe you don't have balance
in your upper body.
[14:23] Olivia
She provoked her.
[14:26] Hanako
Gatotsu!
[14:28] Kasumi
She fell for it.
[14:29] Kasumi
Now I just need to avoid her.
[14:33] Kasumi
She's still going to shove?
[14:35] Kasumi
Fine!
[14:37] Hanako
She's doing her Chinese
contortionist shit again.
[14:41] Hanako
Still, I will win!
[14:48] Hanako
O-Olivia...
[14:50] Hanako
I'm safe, right?
[14:54] Olivia
What are these girls doing?
[14:56] Olivia
S-Safe?
[14:58] Olivia
I mean, I guess?
[15:00] Hanako
But I think...
[15:02] ---
Hey, sorry I'm late...
[15:04] Hanako
I'm done.
[15:05] Sensei
Honda-san, don't give up!
[15:08] Hanako
Huh?
[15:09] Hanako
Sensei, what are you talking about?
[15:11] Sensei
You can do it!
[15:12] Sensei
You can't give up!
[15:15] Sensei
Do it!
[15:15] Sensei
You can do it!
[15:16] Sensei
You can keep going!
[15:18] Sensei
Hang in there, Honda-san!
[15:24] Hanako
It's in my ey—
[15:30] Sensei
Th-This is bad.
[15:33] Olivia
S-Sensei, were you rooting for Hanako?
[15:37] Sensei
Huh? Not really.
[15:39] Sensei
I just wanted to sound
like an intense teacher.
[15:42] Hanako
Huh? Say what?
[15:43] Hanako
You scared me!
[15:44] Kasumi
Okay, Olivia-san, want to
try playing in paradise?
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Butt Play
[15:59] Kasumi
No one's here.
[16:08] Kasumi
No one's here, which means I can secretly...
[16:11] Harry
I'm going to put my magic on you.
[16:15] Other guy
Put it on me.
SIGN Thwack
[16:22] Hanako
Huh, you're already here, Kasumi-san?
[16:24] Hanako
Hey, were you writing something?
[16:26] Hanako
What were you up to?
[16:27] Kasumi
Um...
[16:32] Kasumi
Doing a lecture write-up.
[16:34] Hanako
Sounds busy.
[16:36] Hanako
Psyche! Middle schoolers
don't talk about lectures!
[16:39] Hanako
Huh?
[16:41] Hanako
"Put it on me"?
[16:45] Hanako
Err, Kasumi-san...
[16:46] Kasumi
N-No!
[16:48] Kasumi
It's not!
[16:49] Kasumi
I didn't write this!
[16:51] Kasumi
I didn't!
[16:52] Hanako
Okay, sorry. I know.
[16:54] Kasumi
I want to die!
SIGN Squeeeeeze
[16:56] Hanako
It's okay!
[16:57] Hanako
Seriously, it's fine! Don't die!
[16:58] Hanako
Live!
[16:59] Hanako
Live!
[17:00] Hanako
You are beautiful!
[17:01] Olivia
I ran into Sensei on the way here.
[17:03] Sensei
Sorry I'm late.
[17:08] Sensei
I have no clue how it came to this.
[17:11] Hanako
U-Um...
[17:14] Hanako
I can't tell them!
[17:15] Hanako
Kasumi-san will kill herself!
[17:18] Hanako
I have to come up with a different reason.
[17:19] Hanako
Something else...
[17:20] Hanako
K-Kasumi-san was writing
an Oscar Wilde-style novel.
[17:25] Kasumi
Hanako-san!
[17:26] Olivia
Huh, what's it like?
[17:29] Kasumi
Sorry, it's pretty wild.
[17:31] Kasumi
It might shock you.
[17:35] Sensei
I-Is it the kind of thing they
might be handing out at Big Sight?
[17:39] Kasumi
Y-Yes.
[17:41] Kasumi
A wild, sold-in-person type.
[17:42] Sensei
Really?
[17:44] Sensei
Can I read it when you're done?
[17:46] Kasumi
No!
[17:47] Kasumi
Someone kill me!
[17:49] Kasumi
I don't have the courage to kill myself!
[17:50] Hanako
Kasumi-san!
[17:51] Kasumi
I'll write a will so it
looks like a proper suicide!
[17:55] Hanako
Don't worry, I like Boys
School Wars and stuff, too.
[17:58] Hanako
I'm interested in that kind
of stuff, too, these days.
[18:00] Kasumi
H-Hanako-san...
[18:02] Hanako
Like, Takezou x Billy, right?
[18:05] Kasumi
Wh-Who is that?
[18:07] Olivia
I have no idea what's going on,
but you're writing a novel?
[18:11] Kasumi
Y-Yes.
[18:12] Olivia
Have you chosen a title yet?
[18:14] Kasumi
N-No, not yet.
[18:15] Hanako
Hey, I have a good one.
[18:17] ---
Huh? What is it?
[18:19] Kasumi
"Anal Bum Cover."
[18:22] Sensei
Honda-san!
[18:23] Sensei
Please don't tarnish my bible!
[18:25] Hanako
S-Sensei, what are you talking about?
[18:28] Kasumi
Um...
[18:29] Kasumi
Can we take this seriously?
[18:31] Hanako
But I was serious!
[18:32] Hanako
The protagonist, one day, starts
firing laser beams from his butt.
[18:36] Kasumi
You aren't serious at all!
[18:37] Maeda
You called, Hanako-sama?
[18:40] Kasumi
Stab him with the eraser!
[18:43] Hanako
Kasumi-san!
[18:44] Maeda
I can be of use to
Kasumi-san's novel writing?
[18:47] Maeda
I shall gladly submit myself to that purpose.
[18:49] Hanako
Have you ever submitted yourself to anal?
[18:51] Maeda
Oh, when you say novel, do
you mean one of that genre?
[18:54] Maeda
My apologies, I'm not very
versed in that field.
[18:58] Maeda
But for you, Hanako-sama, I shall
head to Nichome with some vaseline.
[19:01] Hanako
Oh, it's nothing that serious.
[19:03] Hanako
It's more of a light fantasy.
[19:06] Maeda
Fantasy...
[19:08] Maeda
Something like a goblin x dwarf?
[19:10] Hanako
What kind of nasty trash is that?!
[19:10] Maeda
Oh, Santa Maria, forgive me Lord...
[19:12] Hanako
Not that kind of fantasy!
[19:14] Hanako
You have to have given up on your own
humanity to read something like that!
[19:17] Maeda
But my friend's niece is into that
kind of hardcore doujinshi stuff.
[19:19] Hanako
Stop! I don't want to hear any more!
[19:21] Maeda
Gobdwarfs.
[19:22] Hanako
Please don't abbreviate it
like you're in the know!
[19:25] Hanako
Sorry, Kasumi-san.
That was a weird thing to hear.
[19:30] Hanako
Come to think of it, I thought
you had a fear of men.
[19:33] Hanako
Are you really okay with men on men?
[19:34] Kasumi
T-Two-D stuff is okay.
[19:37] Kasumi
2D doesn't come out of the page.
[19:39] Kasumi
They're totally safe.
[19:41] Kasumi
Even better if they have
no interest in women.
[19:44] Hanako
I-I see.
[19:46] Olivia
Kasumi, you're going to end up
like Sensei, talking like that.
[19:53] Kasumi
Sucks for you. I can totally
tolerate living like that.
[19:58] Sensei
My life is one to be tolerated?!
[20:00] Maeda
Um, I don't know if this would be of any use
for a BL novel, but may I share a story?
[20:06] Olivia
Sure.
[20:07] Kasumi
Thank you.
[20:09] Maeda
Long long ago, there was a
sixth-year college student.
[20:14] Maeda
On the morning of an exam
which would determine
[20:16] Maeda
whether or not he'd fail
the year a third time,
[20:17] Maeda
he was abducted out of
the blue by men in black.
[20:22] Maeda
The men in black restrained the
student inside a square room,
[20:25] Maeda
and began probing his butt.
[20:28] Alien
This is an excellent ass.
[20:31] Alien B
Let us hide our weapon of
destruction inside here.
[20:35] Maeda
When he came to, he was
back where he was before,
[20:38] Maeda
but a day had apparently passed, and
hooray, he failed for a third time.
[20:42] Maeda
His life soon became a living hell.
[20:48] Maeda
Every time he took a dump,
he would destroy the toilet.
[20:52] Maeda
He would find part-time
jobs, only to be fired,
[20:54] Maeda
on grounds of destroying their toilets.
[20:56] Maeda
One day, when he had resigned himself
to a fate of homelessness...
[21:01] Man
What's wrong, buddy?
[21:03] Man
What happened to you?
[21:04] Maeda
Get lost, old bastard.
[21:06] Man
Hold on, let me get a good look.
[21:09] Man
Why is your ass crack so torn?!
[21:12] Maeda
Don't touch it!
[21:13] Maeda
It's dangerous.
[21:14] Maeda
What if I suddenly fired a beam?
[21:17] Maeda
I don't know how I ended
up with this implant.
[21:20] Maeda
I can't control it myself, either.
[21:23] Maeda
I can't go back to my old life.
[21:29] Man
All right, come with me.
[21:31] Man
I'll teach you how to control your butt.
[21:36] Maeda
The man who saved me that day...
[21:40] Maeda
Was Hanako-sama's grandfather.
[21:42] Olivia
Wait, it's a true story?
[21:44] Olivia
That's freaky!
[21:45] Sensei
A-Are you okay now?
[21:47] Maeda
Yes, thank you.
[21:48] Maeda
I only destroy the toilet
when I have diarrhea now.
[21:51] Hanako
And every time, I have to wait until the
seat's fixed to use the toilet, damn it!
[21:54] Olivia
So you're still destroying them!
[21:55] Maeda
How's that?
[21:56] Maeda
Does that give you any inspiration?
[21:59] Kasumi
U-Um...
[22:02] Kasumi
I feel so sick.
[22:03] Narrator
And so Nomura Kasumi's distaste
for men was further exacerbated.
5 - Devilish Taste | Loaded Questions | Maeda's Curse | Sex Ed
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Devilish Taste
[01:42] Hanako
Hey, Maeda...
[01:44] Hanako
You know how they say pets tend
to look like their owners?
[01:48] Hanako
This kid looks nothing like me, right?
[01:51] Maeda
Quite true.
[01:54] Maeda
I can't possibly tell her, but when she
was napping on this sofa the other day...
[02:00] Maeda
She looked just like it.
[02:04] Hanako
I'm going to be late for the meet-up.
[02:07] Maeda
Where are you headed today?
[02:08] Hanako
I'm working on a social studies group
presentation with Olivia and Kasumi-san.
[02:12] Hanako
See you.
[02:13] Maeda
Hanako-sama...
[02:15] Maeda
Uh...
[02:17] Maeda
You're just so charming today,
you almost knocked me out.
[02:21] Hanako
I know, right?
[02:25] Olivia
Kasumi.
[02:26] Olivia
Did you wait?
[02:27] Kasumi
No, I just got here about ten minutes ago.
[02:31] Olivia
We haven't met each other
in plain clothes before.
[02:32] Kasumi
You're right.
[02:34] Olivia
You look so grown-up in a long skirt.
[02:37] Kasumi
D-Do I?
[02:38] Kasumi
You look nice, too, Olivia-san.
[02:42] Olivia
I'm just wearing a tee-shirt and shorts.
[02:43] Kasumi
I know, but...
[02:46] Kasumi
I feel like you need a certain amount of
confidence to pull off that simple look.
[02:51] Olivia
I wonder how Hanako's going to come dressed.
[02:53] Kasumi
She might show up in a yukata or something.
[02:55] Olivia
I can see that.
[02:56] Olivia
Or wearing brand clothes head-to-toe.
[02:57] Kasumi
She's rich, after all.
[02:59] Hanako
I'm here.
[03:00] Olivia
Hana—
[03:02] Olivia
—ko.
[03:09] Hanako
Sorry, it took a while.
[03:11] Olivia
Hanako...
[03:13] Olivia
Did you bang your head on the way here?
[03:15] Hanako
What?
[03:16] Hanako
What is that supposed to mean?
[03:17] Olivia
I mean, you couldn't dress like
that if you're in your right mind.
[03:21] Hanako
What's this?
[03:23] Hanako
This isn't quite like the prêt-à-porter
they sell at the mall.
[03:27] Hanako
It's a one-of-a-kind haute couture
piece by an up-and-coming designer.
[03:31] Hanako
Haute couture!
[03:33] Hanako
Ohtokchuure!
SIGN Ohtokchuure!!!
[03:35] Kasumi
It suddenly sounds like a
lame world history mnemonic.
[03:39] Kasumi
I like it. It's very you.
[03:42] Hanako
Huh?
[03:43] Hanako
This is the Harajuku fashion
that's in style right now.
[03:45] Olivia
She's totally got the wrong idea.
[03:49] Olivia
Okay, why don't we start our assignment?
[03:51] Hanako
Okay.
[03:52] Kasumi
Yes.
[03:52] Kasumi
First, want to order something?
SIGN Watermelon
[03:59] Olivia
Glance...
[04:01] Kasumi
Glance...
[04:02] Olivia
Uh oh...
[04:03] Kasumi
I can't focus at all.
[04:06] Person A
What's up with her?
[04:07] Person B
Jeez, I have no idea.
[04:14] Kasumi
I-I'm sorry!
[04:16] Hanako
Oh, did it jab me?
[04:17] Hanako
Hey, teach me how to do that, Kasumi-san.
[04:21] Kasumi
Pen spinning, you mean?
[04:22] Kasumi
I think you kind of spin it
around the base of your thumb.
[04:26] Hanako
All right.
[04:32] Hanako
What the heck?
[04:33] Hanako
It's so hard!
[04:35] Kasumi
You don't spin your whole arm.
[04:38] Kasumi
It'll spin on its own if you push your
middle finger towards your thumb.
[04:45] Kasumi
That's it.
[04:46] Kasumi
Keep that up for a while and
you'll be able to do it.
[04:48] Hanako
All right.
[04:50] Hanako
This time!
[04:53] ---
And so then...
[04:54] Person A
Hot!
[04:58] Person B
Fire!
[05:05] Person A
It's the devil!
[05:06] Person A
There was a girl who looked like the
devil who flung something at me!
[05:10] Person A
Didn't you see her?
[05:11] Person A
She looked like a demon, with horns!
[05:14] Hanako
N-No.
[05:16] Hanako
Hey, Olivia...
[05:17] Hanako
I'm going to grow out of Harajuku style now.
[05:21] Olivia
I told you, that's not Harajuku style.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Loaded Questions
[05:30] Hanako
Olivia.
[05:32] Hanako
You're late.
[05:33] Kasumi
G-Good work on cleaning duty.
[05:36] Kasumi
You were kind of out of it today.
[05:38] Olivia
Hey, guys, I have something important
to tell you. Hear me out.
[05:45] Olivia
There's a boy in this school.
[05:50] Hanako
Oh, sure.
[05:52] Olivia
Come on, I'm serious here! It's true!
[05:55] Hanako
How am I supposed to react to that?
[05:57] Hanako
Is something wrong?
[05:59] Olivia
Well...
[06:00] Olivia
I was sleeping last night, and there
was some noise from the window.
[06:04] Guy
That's not true!
[06:05] Olivia
I can't sleep...
[06:07] Girl
We need to confront fate.
[06:07] Olivia
I took a peek, and there
was a couple fighting.
[06:12] (Flashback) Guy
What are you even talking about?!
[06:13] (Flashback) Guy
Seriously, I don't get it. Why are
you suddenly breaking up with me?
[06:16] (Flashback) Guy
I love you, man!
[06:18] (Flashback) Girl
I'm sorry, but I can't lie any more.
[06:22] (Flashback) Girl
I have what you have on my lower half.
[06:29] (Flashback) Guy
#%^(&@...
[06:35] (Flashback) Girl
I thought that's how you'd react.
[06:38] (Flashback) Girl
I'm sorry.
[06:39] (Flashback) Guy
Wait!
[06:40] (Flashback) Guy
I love you, even if you have one!
[06:46] Olivia
This is so nice!
[06:48] Olivia
It's the kind of thing*
Kasumi likes, isn't it?
[06:51] Olivia
And I was like...
[06:52] Kasumi
Hang on a second!
[06:53] Olivia
Wait, Kasumi. Don't butt in
while I'm telling a story.
[06:56] Kasumi
No, I have to make things clear!
[06:59] Olivia
But you like that kind of thing, don't you?
[07:00] Kasumi
That's a cross dresser!
[07:02] Kasumi
It's like BL, but not!
[07:04] Kasumi
That's outside of what I can accept!
[07:05] Olivia
You're such a pain.
[07:07] Kasumi
I'm not a pain at all!
[07:09] Olivia
So that's when I noticed something huge.
[07:13] Olivia
That girl...
[07:14] Olivia
She was wearing our uniform.
[07:16] Kasumi
I'm scared.
[07:18] Hanako
No, er... It must have been a mistake.
[07:20] Olivia
I know what I saw!
[07:21] Olivia
She's definitely among us, like an alien!
[07:23] Kasumi
W-Was there anyone who could have
been suspicious at this school?
[07:28] Olivia
Could it be... her?
[07:30] Kasumi
Gulp...
[07:32] Olivia
Takayanagi-senpai from third year is
a bit suspicious, don't you think?
[07:35] Hanako
Now that you mention it...
[07:36] Kasumi
She does seem a bit manly.
[07:39] Olivia
Right?
[07:39] Olivia
She's the captain of the swimming
club, but she's suspicious, right?
[07:42] Kasumi
Olivia!
[07:43] Kasumi
She can't be, if she's in the swimming club!
[07:45] Kasumi
Why did you even mention her?
[07:47] Olivia
And then there's...
[07:48] Olivia
Her.
[07:50] Hanako
What? Who's next?
[07:53] Olivia
No, believe me, the next
one is really suspicious?
[07:55] Kasumi
Wh-Who?
[07:56] Olivia
Oka-san, from Class 2-4!
[07:58] Kasumi
She's just creepy by a different measure!
[08:02] Hanako
Man, I think you just made a mistake.
[08:05] Hanako
Maybe he borrowed his sister's
uniform or something.
[08:07] Olivia
That could be it.
[08:08] Kasumi
Um...
[08:10] Kasumi
Wasn't there someone from
our class who's always
[08:13] Kasumi
changing in the washroom for Phys Ed class?
[08:16] Olivia
O-Oh yeah.
[08:17] Kasumi
She's always sitting out
during swimming class, too.
[08:20] Olivia
She's suspicious.
[08:21] Hanako
I heard she's allergic to chlorine.
[08:23] Hanako
And you're talking about her, right?
[08:25] Hanako
She doesn't seem that way at all.
[08:27] Kasumi
Sh-Sh-Should we ask her, just in case?
[08:29] Olivia
Yeah.
[08:30] Hanako
Yeah.
[08:31] Hanako
U-Um, Aozora-san...
[08:37] Hanako
Th-There's no way!
[08:39] Hanako
She's Aozora Tsugumi-chan,
the cutest girl at school!
[08:41] Kasumi
But...
[08:42] Hanako
How are we even going to ask her?
[08:44] Hanako
Could you really go up to her
and be, like, "Are you a guy"?
[08:47] Olivia
Hey, w-want to play a game?
[08:51] Aozora
A game?
[08:52] Olivia
It's a game where you have
to guess why I talked to you.
[08:57] Kasumi
O-Olivia starts talking like a fake
foreigner when she's nervous, I guess.
[09:02] Aozora
Sure, that sounds fun.
[09:04] Hanako
Nice!
[09:05] Hanako
Good job, Olivia.
[09:07] Hanako
Now we have a reason to talk to her.
[09:09] Olivia
Yes!
[09:10] Olivia
Okay, Aozora-san, I'm going
to start with a problem.
[09:14] Olivia
Ask me questions about it.
[09:16] Olivia
I'll answer either "yes,"
"no," or "irrelevant."
[09:20] Olivia
Okay, here I go.
[09:22] Olivia
I-I couldn't sleep last night.
[09:25] Olivia
Why could that be?
[09:28] Aozora
Does that have something to
do with why you talked to me?
[09:31] Olivia
Y-Yes.
[09:34] Hanako
Wait, Aozora-san talks with
a male first-person pronoun?
[09:37] Kasumi
I think that settles it right there.
[09:38] Hanako
She could just be a bokukko.
[09:40] Hanako
We don't know yet.
[09:41] Aozora
Were we really noisy in that argument?
[09:45] Olivia
Y-Yes.
[09:47] Aozora
Could you hear what we were saying?
[09:51] Olivia
N-No.
[09:54] Hanako
Olivia!
[09:55] Hanako
Why are you hesitating?!
[09:56] Olivia
Sorry, she scared me a little.
[09:58] Aozora
How much did you hear?
[10:00] Olivia
U-Up to the part about you being a...
[10:04] Aozora
Staaaaaaaare.
[10:07] Olivia
No!
[10:08] Olivia
I can't stand this tension anymore!
[10:11] Aozora
I know why you talked to me now.
[10:13] Aozora
But that's a mistake.
[10:16] Aozora
I just told a lie because I kind
of wanted to break up with him.
[10:19] Aozora
Although it didn't work out.
[10:21] Olivia
O-Oh, I see.
[10:25] Olivia
Sorry, I had the wrong idea.
[10:28] Kasumi
Scary...
[10:28] Kasumi
But why do you always change
in the washroom for Phys Ed?
[10:34] Aozora
I mean, I'm embarrassed to change
in front of everyone else.
[10:39] Kasumi
S-So cute.
[10:41] Hanako
So fake!
[10:43] N
Hanako was the only one for whom her
animalistic sense of danger kicked in.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Maeda's Curse
[10:54] President
Oka-san...
[10:56] President
I'm very sorry,
[10:58] President
but you're the only one left in the
Supernatural Phenomena Science Club.
[11:02] President
If you don't find people
by the end of the term,
[11:04] President
I'll have to downgrade you
to a circle for next team.
[11:08] President
W-We'll provide 10,000 yen in
club fees, even as a circle.
[11:19] President
Th-That was scary.
[11:24] Oka
What can I do?
[11:27] Oka
Two of them graduated, one transferred,
and the last one was teleported.
[11:34] Oka
I wonder if there's anyone around
who's interested in the occult.
[11:40] Hanako
Here we go.
[11:41] Hanako
Kokkuri-san, Kokkuri-san, are you there?
SIGN Pastimers Club
[11:44] Hanako
If you are, move to "yes."
SIGN Yes
[11:51] Hanako
Who put that weird patch on my pants?
[11:56] [SONG] Text
Ma
[11:57] [SONG] Text
e
[11:58] [SONG] Text
da
[11:59] Hanako
Damn it, I knew it!
[12:01] Kasumi
I moved it thinking it would be Maeda-san.
[12:04] Kasumi
I'm so glad everyone thought the same.
[12:05] Olivia
I thought it'd be Maeda-chan, too.
[12:07] Hanako
Okay, Olivia, is there anything
you want to ask next?
[12:09] Olivia
Let's see...
[12:12] Oka
Um... that...
[12:15] Hanako
I-I'm sorry!
[12:16] Hanako
We were just messing around!
[12:18] Oka
You're Kokkuri-san, right?
[12:19] Hanako
No, she's from Class 4.
[12:21] Oka
No, err...
[12:24] Oka
Do you like the occult?
[12:27] Hanako
No, not really.
[12:31] Hanako
Huh?
[12:32] Kasumi
What?
[12:33] Olivia
Want to play with us?
[12:37] Oka
Okay, just a little.
[12:39] Olivia
Hey, now that I get a better
look, it's Oka-san from Class 4.
[12:42] Kasumi
You don't need a good look to see that!
[12:44] Oka
Yes.
[12:45] Oka
I'm a member of the Supernatural
Phenomena Science Club,
[12:47] Oka
also known as the SuperSci Club.
[12:50] Oka
But I'm the only member right now.
[12:53] Oka
We'll end up being downgraded to a
circle next term, unless things change.
[12:58] Oka
We'll be the same as the Pass Club.
[13:03] Hanako
Huh?
[13:04] Hanako
We aren't even recognized as
a circle right now, are we?
[13:07] Olivia
Oh, hey, do you know of any
occult-ish games, then?
[13:11] Oka
Occult-ish games, huh?
[13:13] Oka
Let's see...
[13:15] Oka
One-person hide-and-seek.
[13:17] Olivia
How does that work?
[13:18] Oka
Do you have any plushies or anything?
[13:20] Oka
Does this work?
[13:21] Oka
Okay, I'll give a quick explanation.
[13:24] Oka
You're supposed to do this at night,
[13:26] Oka
but since this is just a
game, let's ignore that part.
SIGN Cotton
[13:29] Oka
Step one...
[13:30] Oka
Pull the cotton out from inside.
SIGN Nails Rice Red string
[13:33] Oka
Two...
[13:34] Oka
Replace it with rice and nails,
and sew it back with red string.
[13:38] Oka
Three...
[13:39] Oka
Tie the left over string around
it, and give him a name.
[13:44] Oka
What would you like to name him?
[13:45] Hanako
Maeda, then.
[13:47] Oka
Let's make a team with the four of us.
[13:50] Hanako
Okay, Team Pass Club.
[13:51] Oka
First to be it is Team Pass Club.
[13:54] Oka
First to be it is Team Pass Club.
[13:56] Oka
First to be it is Team Oka Ken.
[13:59] Hanako
Huh?
[13:59] Hanako
Did she just take over?
[14:00] Oka
Okay, now we put this in the sink.
SIGN Girls
[14:03] Oka
Let's go to the washroom, everyone.
[14:08] Oka
Is there a TV anywhere?
[14:11] Kasumi
Oh, I get 1seg on my phone.
[14:15] Oka
Close your eyes for ten seconds.
SIGN Girls
[14:18] Oka
And come back, and...
[14:20] Oka
Found you, Maeda.
[14:27] Oka
Maeda's it now.
[14:30] Oka
Now, let's go hide with a cup of salt water.
[14:35] Oka
Where shall we hide?
[14:37] Kasumi
How about under the club room table, then?
SIGN Pastimers Club
[14:44] Oka
Oh, man...
[14:46] Oka
This is so fun.
[14:50] Hanako
Wh-What?!
[14:52] Hanako
Hey, what part of this is occult?
[14:55] Oka
From what I heard, the doll will
come looking for us or something.
[15:01] Hanako
No way!
[15:02] Hanako
This is one of those curse things!
[15:05] Oka
Wait up.
[15:07] Oka
If we're going to go look for him, we
have to drink the salt water together.
[15:11] Hanako
Okay, okay.
[15:12] Oka
We each just need a sip.
[15:14] Oka
We need to leave some to throw onto the doll.
SIGN Girls
[15:18] Hanako
Maeda!
[15:26] Oka
Wait, is it actually gone?
[15:30] Oka
Oh, no.
[15:32] Oka
We have to find it quick.
[15:34] Oka
Or it's going to look for us forever.
[15:39] Oka
Someone!
[15:40] Oka
Has anyone seen a turd
with a box cutter stuck in it?!
[15:42] Oka
A turd with a box cutter in it!
[15:43] Kasumi
H-Hanako-san!
[15:47] Kasumi
Olivia-san, are you okay?
[15:48] Olivia
I was playing it cool, but I'm
mad chicken with horror, dawg!
[15:53] Kasumi
Okay, I got it.
[15:54] Kasumi
You're so scared that you
go out of character, huh?
[15:56] Sensei
Sorry, I'm late.
SIGN Pastimers' Club Club Notes
[15:58] Hanako
Sensei!
[15:59] Hanako
Have you seen Maeda?
[16:00] Sensei
N-Not today.
[16:03] Hanako
Sensei!
[16:04] Hanako
If you see a turd with a box cutter in it,
[16:06] Hanako
it's Maeda, so say "I found
you!" and set it on fire!
[16:09] Sensei
I wonder if she's been snorting
too much Ha**yturn powder.
[16:12] Kasumi
Sensei, Olivia-san...
[16:14] Olivia
How do we run away from poo?
[16:18] Sensei
Olivia-san, want to come to
the nurse's office with me?
[16:21] Hanako
I shouldn't have played
one-person hide-and-seek!
[16:25] Sensei
Is that that cooking show on TV?
[16:27] Hanako
My life is over!
[16:29] Person A
Who the hell leaves a turd in the sink? Jeez.
[16:32] Person B
We're such good people, fixing the drain.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Sex Ed
[16:46] Person A
Hey, where should we go today?
[16:48] Person B
Sorry, I'm meeting up
with my boyfriend after.
[16:50] Person A
Really?
[16:51] Person A
Oh, is it that guy who hit on you before?
[16:54] Person B
Yeah, we ended up actually
going steady after that.
[16:56] Person A
Good for you.
[16:57] Person A
I'm going to Maihama Sea
with my boyfriend next week.
[17:00] Person B
Lucky.
[17:01] Person B
I think I'll beg him, too.
[17:03] Person A
Do it.
[17:04] Person A
In fact, why don't we make it a double date?
[17:05] Person B
That sounds awesome.
SIGN Pastimers' Club
[17:08] Hanako
I want a boyfriend.
[17:13] Olivia
Why?
[17:14] Hanako
Why?!
[17:14] Hanako
A girl's gonna want a
boyfriend or two, you know?!
[17:21] Olivia
Isn't it too much trouble?
[17:22] Hanako
It's not too much trouble!
[17:23] Hanako
I want to go to Sea with my boyfriend!
[17:25] Olivia
Hanako...
[17:26] Olivia
Why don't you go with
Maeda-chan if you want a guy?
[17:28] Hanako
What fun is there in going with Maeda?!
[17:31] Hanako
I want a boy my age!
[17:34] Olivia
Okay, okay.
[17:36] Olivia
Kasumi.
[17:37] Hanako
You're late.
[17:38] Kasumi
I had day duty.
[17:40] Kasumi
What were you guys talking
so excitedly about?
[17:42] Hanako
Boyfriends.
[17:43] Kasumi
Huh?
[17:46] Kasumi
Shouldn't you be talking about something
a little more meaningful to your lives?
[17:52] Olivia
S-Sorry.
[17:55] Hanako
But you know, Kasumi-san,
you say that, but...
[17:59] Hanako
I know your type is the first to get married.
[18:04] Kasumi
Who gave you that data?
[18:06] Olivia
I don't know if you can have
a boyfriend, though, Hanako.
[18:10] Hanako
What's that supposed to mean?!
[18:11] Olivia
You have a dirty personality.
[18:12] Olivia
To have a boyfriend, you
have to be, more, floaty.
[18:18] Hanako
I see.
[18:19] Hanako
Floaty, huh?
[18:21] Hanako
Your opinion, as someone who
doesn't have a boyfriend,
[18:23] Hanako
isn't worth more than a poopy sheet of
toilet paper that's gone down the toilet.
[18:25] Hanako
But I'll take it into consideration.
[18:26] Olivia
Ouch!
[18:27] Olivia
That's what I'm talking about!
[18:29] Hanako
All right, I'm going to be the
world's top boyfriended woman!
[18:34] Kasumi
Wait, was that the scale of
what we were talking about?
[18:37] Olivia
What do you even want to do
with a boyfriend, anyway?
[18:40] Hanako
Um...
[18:42] Hanako
This might be a bit early, but...
[18:47] Hanako
This is so embarrassing.
[18:49] Hanako
I want to hold hands and walk together.
[18:56] Hanako
And then I want to get married
at about 25 and have two babies.
[19:01] Olivia
Do you know how babies are made?
[19:03] Hanako
O-Of course I do.
[19:05] Hanako
They're made when you French kiss, right?
[19:07] Kasumi
Do you even know what a French kiss is?
[19:10] Hanako
It has the word "kiss" in it, but it's
something that isn't actually, right?
[19:13] Kasumi
No, it's kissing.
[19:14] Hanako
Really?
[19:15] Hanako
Then what's Frenching?
[19:17] Kasumi
Um...
[19:18] Olivia
Oh, I know.
[19:20] Olivia
Maybe it's a corruption of "frontal cocks kisses."
[19:25] Hanako
So...
[19:26] Olivia
If you kiss with his cock
out, you'll have a baby.
[19:28] Hanako
I get it.
[19:29] Kasumi
Hold up!
[19:30] Kasumi
That's totally wrong!
[19:31] Kasumi
It has nothing to do with
full frontal anythings!
[19:35] Kasumi
To have a baby, you...
[19:40] Kasumi
You...
[19:42] Kasumi
You dock.
[19:46] Kasumi
You dock.
[19:48] Kasumi
This is why I hate men!
[19:51] Olivia
What was that?
[19:51] Olivia
A robot transformation?
[19:52] Hanako
Okay, can you use these dolls
to explain how to make babies?
[19:57] Kasumi
W-With dolls?
[19:59] Kasumi
Okay, then.
[20:00] Kasumi
Um...
[20:08] Kasumi
I'm sorry, this is the best I can do.
[20:10] Kasumi
I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
[20:12] Hanako
What is this?
[20:13] Hanako
What's even going on?
[20:14] Olivia
The guy gets on top of the girl.
[20:17] Hanako
What does he do on top?
[20:19] Olivia
The person on top sends radio
waves from his brain to hers.
[20:23] Olivia
"Create child."
[20:24] Olivia
"We spawn child."
[20:26] Kasumi
That's horror!
[20:27] Kasumi
That's totally horror!
SIGN Pastimers' Club Club Notes
[20:28] Sensei
Guys, sorry I'm late.
[20:31] Olivia
Sensei, I'm glad you're here.
[20:32] Olivia
There's something I want to ask you.
[20:33] Olivia
How are babies made?
[20:35] Sensei
Huh?
[20:36] Sensei
Didn't you learn in health class?
[20:40] Sensei
Oh, dear.
[20:42] Sensei
Well, you see...
[20:44] Sensei
The man...
[20:47] Sensei
The man's thing goes there, and...
[20:51] Sensei
I can't explain it out loud.
[20:53] Sensei
I don't know, either.
[20:55] Olivia
Aww.
[20:56] Hanako
What can you expect? She's not married.
[20:59] Sensei
They're so easily convinced!
[21:00] Hanako
I wish someone would
explain using these dolls.
[21:04] Sensei
I can, as long as I don't
have to explain in words.
[21:06] Hanako
But you said you don't know.
[21:08] Sensei
The answer just suddenly came to me.
[21:10] Sensei
So...
[21:12] Sensei
The way my friend explained
it the other day...
[21:15] (Flashback) Friend
Oh my gosh, it was the best.
[21:20] Sensei
It was like...
[21:24] Olivia
A circus?
[21:25] Sensei
My friend said it felt really good.
[21:30] Kasumi
Sensei...
[21:31] Kasumi
You could have just kept it normal.
[21:33] Hanako
Sensei, I don't get it.
[21:36] Sensei
Okay, I'll make one that's
easier to understand.
[21:45] Hanako
Seeing this, I feel like...
[21:47] Hanako
I don't really care to have kids anymore.
[21:50] Hanako
Tuition's expensive and stuff.
[21:51] Olivia
Yeah.
[21:52] Sensei
I-I kind of want one.
[21:55] N
Will there ever be a solution
to the declining birth rate?
SIGN Japanese Pastimes, Please
[23:33] ---
Hey! I've seen this at some kind of museum!
SIGN Sex Ed Dolls
SIGN The Hakone Open-air Muse—
6 - Asterisk | Studying for Exams | A New Look | Spirited Combat, Again
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Asterisk
[01:35] Oka
Would you like to read
Key of Solomon together?
[01:39] Hanako
Um...
[01:41] Hanako
You say that like you'd say "Want to
read a fashion magazine together?"
[01:44] Hanako
But that's not a fashion magazine, is it?
[01:46] Oka
You're right.
[01:48] Oka
But it's one of the more
well-known magic books.
[01:52] Hanako
Yeah, but magic books as a
whole aren't really mainstream.
[01:57] Kasumi
How has your hunt for
club members been going?
[02:00] Oka
No one, yet.
[02:01] Hanako
Why did you end up on your
own all of a sudden, anyway?
[02:04] Oka
Um...
[02:05] Oka
Two graduated, one transferred,
and the last one got teleported.
[02:11] Kasumi
She says it like she just faxed them.
[02:13] Hanako
So two graduated and two transferred, right?
[02:17] Oka
No, one got teleported.
[02:19] Hanako
It's okay, that's what I heard.
[02:22] Kasumi
But teleported where?
[02:24] Oka
Well...
[02:25] Oka
She's been saying she wanted to go, so possibly to the River Styx,
[02:30] Oka
which would take her to Hades.
[02:33] Kasumi
She says it like she went to visit Skytree.
[02:36] Hanako
So what's the name of this
person that got teleported?
[02:39] Oka
Agrippa.
[02:40] Hanako
No, not her nickname, her real name.
[02:42] Oka
Mato Aguri.
[02:44] Hanako
All right.
[02:45] Hanako
Let's head to the faculty room.
[02:47] Kasumi
Yeah.
[02:48] Oka
Wh-Why?
[02:49] Hanako
Let's ask the teachers what happened to her.
SIGN Faculty Room
[02:53] Sensei
Mato-san?
[02:54] Hanako
Was there anyone with that name in our year?
[02:58] Sensei
Um, hang on.
[03:00] Sensei
Oh, there was, in Class 1.
[03:02] Hanako
What happened to her?
[03:05] Sensei
U-Um...
[03:07] Sensei
It looks like she's ill.
[03:13] Oka
What do you mean by that?
[03:14] Oka
Ill?
[03:15] Oka
I never heard about this!
[03:18] Sensei
Y-Yeah?
[03:22] Oka
Where is she?
[03:24] Oka
Which hospital is she at?
[03:27] Sensei
If she hasn't told you herself,
I'm not sure I should.
[03:33] Sensei
But hey, don't worry too much.
[03:37] Sensei
She'll be all better and
back at school soon enough.
[03:40] Sensei
You can see her then.
[03:47] Hanako
Th-Thank you, Sensei.
SIGN Pastimers Club
[03:54] Olivia
Oka-san, are you okay?
[04:00] Kasumi
Did Mato-san seem ill at all?
[04:04] Oka
I can't believe I didn't notice, but
just before she got teleported...
[04:11] (Flashback) Noto
Hey, have you read Heptaméron?
[04:14] (Flashback) Oka
I have.
[04:15] (Flashback) Noto
I heard it was written by Pietro d'Abano,
but apparently that's BS.
[04:20] (Flashback) Oka
Yeah, Pietro d'Abano is
from the 13th century,
[04:23] (Flashback) Oka
and Heptaméron is supposed to have
been written in the late 16th century.
[04:27] (Flashback) Noto
I know.
[04:29] (Flashback) Noto
But...
[04:33] (Flashback) Noto
Hang on, I'm going to lie down for a bit.
[04:39] (Flashback) Oka
Are you sick?
[04:42] (Flashback) Noto
No, not at all.
[04:44] (Flashback) Noto
I'm just tired from P.E. again.
[04:47] (Flashback) Oka
Okay.
[04:52] (Flashback) Noto
Hey...
[04:53] (Flashback) Noto
I'm secretly making the Fifth
Pentacle of the Sun right now.
[05:01] (Flashback) Noto
So if I suddenly vanish one day,
[05:04] (Flashback) Noto
just think of it as being because
my transportation magic worked.
[05:11] (Flashback) Oka
You're always so ambitious, Agrippa.
[05:18] (Flashback) Oka
But please don't vanish on me.
[05:24] Oka
That happened shortly before she went away.
[05:30] Oka
Why didn't I notice what was happening?
[05:41] Olivia
Oka-san!
[05:41] Olivia
What about magic?
[05:43] Olivia
Is there any magic that'll
help her get better?
[05:46] Oka
That stuff doesn't really work.
[05:49] Olivia
Wait!
[05:50] Olivia
Why are you suddenly being so realistic?
[05:52] Olivia
You always have so much
blind faith in the occult.
[05:54] Olivia
Please don't come to your senses now.
[05:59] Oka
Olivia-san...
[06:02] Oka
Do you think someone even at my
level could make a difference?
[06:07] Olivia
You would!
[06:08] Olivia
It would definitely work!
[06:10] Hanako
All right, I'm going to do this magic, too!
[06:13] Kasumi
I-I'll help, too.
[06:18] Hanako
So what's this magic we're doing?
[06:20] Oka
Let's see...
[06:21] Oka
How about this doll magic from New Orleans?
[06:25] Oka
The voodoo doll.
[06:28] Oka
First, fasten two pieces
of wood into a cross.
[06:31] Oka
Next, wind it up in string, and
add to it the person's likeness.
[06:39] Kasumi
I can't tell how that looks
any different from Oka-san.
[06:42] Oka
Next, we prepare marking pins.
[06:46] Oka
We use different colored marking
pins depending on what we're doing.
[06:50] Oka
We're trying to rid her of the suffering
that is illness, so we use black.
[06:56] Oka
And I want to stab the part where she's ill,
and chant, "Suffering, be gone," but...
[07:06] Oka
But...
[07:09] Oka
Where am I supposed to stab her?
[07:13] Oka
Where was Agrippa ill?
[07:19] Oka
Why didn't she tell me anything?
[07:27] Olivia
Let's stab her all over, then.
[07:29] Olivia
We don't have to know where she's sick
if we stab her all over and chant,
[07:32] Olivia
"Get better all over."
[07:33] Oka
Y-You're right.
[07:36] Oka
Get better, Agrippa.
[07:40] Oka
Get better...
[07:42] Oka
Get better...
[07:47] Kasumi
Th-That looks brutal.
[07:49] Oka
I hope she gets better now.
[07:52] Oka
Oh, I'll go see if there're
more charms that'll work.
[07:56] Olivia
Okay.
[07:57] Oka
Thank you, Pastimers Club.
[08:01] Oka
I shall meet Agrippa again.
[08:08] Sensei
Sorry I'm late.
[08:10] Sensei
Huh, what were you up to?
[08:11] Kasumi
We were praying with a voodoo
doll for Mato-san to get better.
[08:15] Sensei
Huh.
[08:15] Sensei
Did you stab her butt, too, then?
[08:18] Hanako
No, we didn't. Why?
[08:20] Sensei
Oh, really?
[08:21] Sensei
No, I didn't mean anything by that.
[08:23] Sensei
Never mind.
[08:25] Sensei
I thought I shouldn't tell them, since
she's getting surgery for hemorrhoids,
[08:28] Sensei
but I hope I'm making the right decision.
[08:32] Narrator
A week later, they were
reunited with Agrippa.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Studying for Exams
[08:41] Sensei
I'm handing out the results
for the first term exams.
[08:44] Sensei
Ando-san.
[08:45] Person
Yes.
[08:46] Sensei
Ito-san.
[08:47] Person
Yes.
[08:47] Hanako
Cower before me, pitiful masses.
[08:51] Hanako
Behold my true potential.
[08:53] Hanako
I've been studying diligently
this whole time,
[08:55] Hanako
and then for the last two
weeks before the exam,
[08:56] Hanako
I went on just three hours of sleep a day.
[08:58] Hanako
The result? An average grade over five
subjects and secondary courses of 98.2.
[09:03] Hanako
Shoot, I'm getting the chills,
picturing myself at the peak.
[09:09] ---
I'm so turned on!
[09:10] Sensei
Honda-san.
[09:11] Hanako
Yes.
SIGN Total grade Average Year Ranking 884 98.2 2nd
SIGN Year Ranking 2nd
[09:17] Person A
You got first again this
year, Misa-chan? Wow.
[09:20] Misa
I'm awesome, right?
[09:21] Person A
You're kidding... Weren't
you messing around a lot?
[09:23] Misa
That's not true.
[09:25] Misa
I was studying with my boyfriend.
[09:30] N
And then what happened?
SIGN Pastimers Club
[09:33] Hanako
Strange.
[09:34] Hanako
Something's not right.
[09:36] Hanako
I've been abstaining from fashion and
relationships to focus on my studies.
[09:41] Hanako
From the looks of it, I spent a
lot more time studying than her.
[09:46] Hanako
So why am I being outdone by a wretched
slut who doesn't take life seriously?
[09:51] N
Please understand, audience,
[09:53] N
that Hanako's thoughts have become
somewhat violent from the shock.
[09:59] N
Hanako had trusted that results
were proportionate to effort.
[10:04] N
She didn't want to believe in the possibility
[10:09] N
that they had a difference
in innate intelligence,
[10:12] N
and that she had lost because
she was not as gifted.
[10:14] N
And sadder still,
[10:18] N
the other two had bombed, and
were taking remedial classes.
[10:23] Hanako
Being by myself is making me stew
in negative thoughts even more.
[10:30] Hanako
Kasumi-san did pretty bad
on the English exam again.
[10:35] Hanako
What kind of special skills
does it take to do so bad?
[10:41] Hanako
You could easily pass by just memorizing
some words and example sentences.
[10:48] Hanako
Although she is trying.
[10:51] Hanako
Her efforts aren't quite
sticking to her brain.
[10:54] Hanako
They're seeping out of her
ears and being converted
[10:56] Hanako
into atmospheric nitrogen, I'm sure.
[10:59] Hanako
As for Olivia...
[11:02] Hanako
Why doesn't she ever study for anything?
SIGN Two weeks before the exams
[11:09] (Flashback) Olivia
What're you up to, Hanako?
[11:10] (Flashback) Hanako
The term exams are coming up.
[11:12] (Flashback) Hanako
I thought I'd make good use of my time.
[11:14] (Flashback) Olivia
From two weeks ahead?
[11:16] (Flashback) Hanako
You'll be freaking out if you slack
off until a week before, Olivia.
[11:22] (Flashback) Olivia
Why not just cram it all the night before?
[11:24] (Flashback) Hanako
Cram it?
[11:26] (Flashback) Hanako
I don't think you can, with all the
subjects that are on the term exams.
[11:28] (Flashback) Olivia
That's not true.
[11:30] (Flashback) Olivia
You just need to wing it so you don't fail.
[11:33] Hanako
But you did fail!
[11:37] Maeda
Hanako-sama, congratulations
on ranking second in the year.
[11:40] Hanako
Don't suddenly pop up like that, damn it!
[11:42] Maeda
But I was here the whole time.
[11:43] Hanako
That's even freakier!
[11:45] Hanako
Uh...
[11:46] Hanako
How much did you hear?
[11:48] Maeda
Huh?
[11:48] Maeda
Er, you were silent the whole time.
[11:51] Hanako
O-Okay.
[11:53] Maeda
But I did sense an aura
of "That girl in first
[11:55] Maeda
isn't going to get away with making
it to the top canoodling with boys."
[11:59] Hanako
Can't you be a little more tactful?!
[12:01] Hanako
But I feel like you're winning
at life if you make first.
[12:05] Hanako
How can I not get jealous?
[12:07] Maeda
Hanako-sama, I disagree.
[12:10] Maeda
You think you've already won or lost
at life at middle school? Hilarious!
[12:15] Hanako
Are you cheering me up or making fun of me?
[12:18] Maeda
But I'd taken notice of your distress,
[12:20] Maeda
and have been working in
secret with your grandfather.
[12:24] Hanako
With Grandpa?
[12:25] Maeda
Yes.
[12:25] Maeda
I'd spoken with him about it before.
[12:28] (Flashback) Maeda
Hanako-sama seems to want a lover.
[12:31] (Flashback) Grandpa
What?
[12:32] (Flashback) Grandpa
Hana-chan does?
[12:33] (Flashback) Grandpa
She doesn't even have all of her
pubic hair. She's too young.
[12:38] (Flashback) Maeda
No, I'm quite sure she has
a full coat of pubic hair.
[12:40] Hanako
I'm going to take both of you
to court for sexual harassment!
[12:43] Maeda
And so the two of us built this together...
[12:45] Maeda
The Honda family's home-built android,
[12:47] Maeda
Eighteen Summer "You Have Such
Beautiful Fingers" Koichi-kun.
[12:50] Hanako
Th-This reeks of despair.
[12:53] Hanako
You don't need to bother.
[12:54] Maeda
Hang on, he has voice functionality, too.
[12:57] Android
Come on, this problem isn't even
that hard. You can do better.
[13:03] Hanako
He's not bad.
[13:04] Maeda
Yes.
[13:05] Maeda
The two of us worked hard recording
the voices for you, Hanako-sama.
[13:08] Hanako
You two recorded this voice?!
[13:09] Maeda
Please, give it a try.
[13:12] N
And then what happened?
[13:17] Hanako
Th-This is creepier than I thought.
[13:20] Android
Hey.
[13:21] Android
You made a mistake.
[13:22] Hanako
Right.
[13:24] Hanako
Sorry.
[13:25] Android
Wrong.
[13:26] Hanako
Huh?
[13:26] Android
You mean, "teehee."
[13:28] Hanako
Holy shit, he's annoying!
[13:30] Hanako
I don't think I need this.
[13:32] Maeda
W-Wait, please!
[13:33] Maeda
We made it based on simulations of
conversations that a maiden would enjoy.
[13:36] Maeda
By our calculations, he's perfect!
[13:37] Hanako
There's no way you and Grandpa could
have made a perfect simulation!
[13:41] Hanako
Wait up.
[13:42] Android
Hana-chan, has Aunt Flo come to visit?
[13:45] Android
You sound vulgar, miss.
[13:47] Hanako
You sound just like Grandpa
and it's vulgar as hell!
[13:51] Hanako
I'm going to destroy you!
[13:54] Maeda
Hanako-sama!
[13:55] Olivia
You don't have remedial
classes tomorrow, Kasumi?
[13:57] Kasumi
I don't.
[13:58] Kasumi
And you got through all the
remedial classes, too, huh?
[14:04] Kasumi
We were just gone for remedial classes...
[14:07] Kasumi
...and Hanako-san had killed a man!
[14:11] Hanako
Wait, that's not it, you two!
[14:12] Hanako
It's a doll!
[14:14] Android
Hana-chan, how could you?
[14:17] Kasumi
The decapitated head is talking!
[14:19] Hanako
That's not what it is!
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN A New Look
[14:36] Olivia
So hot...
[14:39] Olivia
I want to cut my hair.
[14:42] Hanako
A boy birdie and a girl birdie,
flirtie flirt, flirtie flirt...
[14:48] Hanako
Olivia, you're already here.
[14:53] Hanako
No, Olivia!
[14:54] Olivia
What, Hanako?
[14:55] Hanako
Don't!
[14:57] Hanako
Cutting your hair won't fix your B.O.!
[15:02] Olivia
I just wanted to cut my
hair because it's hot.
[15:07] Olivia
What did you just say?
[15:15] Hanako
Sorry, I lost my memories.
[15:17] Hanako
You shouldn't cut it yourself, though.
[15:19] Hanako
You have to go to a stylist.
[15:21] Olivia
I'll go if I mess up cutting it myself.
[15:23] Hanako
Don't!
[15:25] Kasumi
Sorry I'm late.
[15:26] Kasumi
I stopped by the library.
[15:27] Olivia
Let go! Let go!
[15:29] Olivia
The scissors!
[15:29] Hanako
Get back, I'll stab you!
[15:31] Kasumi
Did you break up?
[15:32] Olivia
Not at all.
[15:33] Olivia
It's just so hot.
[15:34] Kasumi
Oh, I see.
[15:35] Kasumi
But you have such nice hair,
it'd be a shame to cut it.
[15:39] Hanako
She's right.
[15:39] Hanako
You have cute curly hair.
[15:41] Hanako
Why don't you tie it in a
ponytail if it's too hot?
[15:43] Olivia
It gets even more stuffy
inside with a ponytail.
[15:46] Olivia
Aren't you hot, Hanako?
[15:47] Hanako
I'm fine so far.
[15:49] Olivia
Oh.
[15:50] Hanako
So how much were you going to cut?
[15:52] Olivia
Very short.
[15:53] Kasumi
That's even more of a reason to
have a professional do it for you.
[15:56] Hanako
Yeah.
[15:57] Hanako
If you do it yourself and mess up,
[15:59] Hanako
you'll seriously have no choice
but to shave it all off.
[16:00] Olivia
I'll try cutting just a little, then.
[16:03] Olivia
If I screw up, I'll go see a stylist.
[16:15] Olivia
I'm sorry, I can't do it!
[16:17] Olivia
Undo it, please!
[16:18] Hanako
Nope, nope, nope!
[16:19] Olivia
Oh no, I shouldn't have done it!
[16:22] Olivia
Hair is what makes a woman!
[16:24] Hanako
Exactly, it's what makes a woman!
[16:27] Kasumi
U-Um...
[16:28] Kasumi
No one can tell the difference. Don't worry.
[16:33] Olivia
Oh, really?
[16:35] Hanako
Sheesh, don't scare me like that.
[16:37] Hanako
Let's try practicing on your bangs, then.
[16:39] Kasumi
How has she not learned her lesson?!
SIGN Snip
[16:48] Hanako
This is bad!
[16:50] Hanako
You cut way too much of your bangs!
[16:51] Olivia
You were the one who told me to do it!
[16:53] Hanako
I didn't think you'd cut it so far!
[16:55] Hanako
Like, a millimeter!
[16:55] Hanako
A millimeter!
[16:56] Kasumi
H-Hey, that much is...
[17:00] Kasumi
hard not to notice.
[17:01] Olivia
You aren't trying to cheer me up, are you?
[17:03] Olivia
You're trying to finish me off!
[17:04] Kasumi
You could fix it by taking hair from
the back and using it as your bangs.
[17:08] Olivia
L-Like this?
[17:10] Kasumi
Y-Yeah.
[17:10] Kasumi
And then cut it to the
same length as your bangs.
[17:17] Olivia
I-Is it back to normal?
[17:21] Kasumi
It isn't.
[17:23] Olivia
Come on, you're killing me!
[17:27] Kasumi
It's no use.
[17:28] Kasumi
Let's go the stylist's.
[17:30] Hanako
Yeah.
[17:31] Olivia
But I can't go outside looking like this.
[17:34] Hanako
What do we do?
[17:35] Kasumi
What shall we do?
[17:36] Olivia
Nope.
[17:36] Olivia
I'm not leaving this room.
[17:38] Sensei
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
[17:40] Hanako
Sensei, Olivia's hair!
[17:42] Sensei
Huh? What's wrong?
[17:43] Olivia
I cut it myself and messed up.
[17:45] Sensei
Oh, dear.
[17:46] Hanako
Is there any way to hide it?
[17:50] Sensei
Okay, why don't you wear a hairband
and just brush your bangs back?
[17:53] Olivia
Like this.
[17:54] Sensei
Yeah.
[17:58] Olivia
I think this could work.
[17:59] Olivia
It's cool, too.
[18:00] Hanako
You're so smart, Sensei.
[18:01] Olivia
Oh, wait, m-my acne.
[18:04] Olivia
Never mind.
[18:07] Hanako
Is there any other way?
[18:10] Olivia
I'm never taking a step
out of this room again.
[18:11] Sensei
Um...
[18:13] Sensei
All right, I'll tidy it all up for you.
[18:16] Sensei
Believe it or not, I'm really
good at cutting bangs.
[18:21] Sensei
I cut my own bangs, after all.
[18:24] ---
My own...
[18:26] ---
Her own?
[18:28] Olivia
Wait, Sensei...
[18:30] Olivia
Sensei!
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Spirited Combat, Again
[18:42] Hanako
Hey, Sensei, you're already here.
[18:44] Hanako
Olivia.
[18:45] Olivia
How did you get that wrong?!
[18:46] Hanako
You have the same bangs.
[18:49] Kasumi
Hey, you're already here, Oli-sen—
[18:52] Olivia
That was a one-time mistake, right?
[18:54] Olivia
Don't you dare make it my nickname!
[18:55] Hanako
It sure is hot these days.
[18:58] Hanako
The floor's nice and cold.
[19:01] Olivia
Isn't that gross, Hanako?
[19:03] Hanako
Don't worry, Sensei cleans it every day.
[19:06] Kasumi
Oh yeah, there's a game in Hokkaido
[19:08] Kasumi
where you pull people out while
they're sitting like that.
[19:11] Olivia
What's that?
[19:12] Hanako
Oh yeah!
[19:13] Hanako
Daikon pulling, right?
[19:14] Olivia
Daikon?
[19:14] Hanako
You pull the pullee like
they're a daikon root.
[19:18] Hanako
This is how Maeda taught me when I was
little, so the rules might be a bit Maedafied.
[19:23] Hanako
Okay, Kasumi-san and I will go first.
[19:25] Hanako
You can watch.
[19:26] Olivia
Okay.
[19:27] Hanako
Kasumi-san's the daikon.
[19:28] Hanako
If I pull Kasumi-san out
of this circle, I win.
[19:34] Olivia
Daikon, takuan, buri
daikon, buri buri buri...
[19:42] Olivia
This dance and song are
probably Maeda-chan's rules.
[19:46] Hanako
K-Kasumi-san, may I place
my hands on your legs?
[19:49] Kasumi
Y-Yes.
[19:51] Hanako
R-Really?
[19:53] Hanako
Don't hit me later.
[19:55] Kasumi
Okay.
[19:56] Olivia
Hanako's turning into a horny old dude.
[19:58] Hanako
Here I go.
[20:04] Hanako
Damn, she's so heavy.
[20:19] Hanako
Something like that?
[20:21] Olivia
What was that? I don't get it.
[20:23] Hanako
I mean, it wouldn't be fun if
I showed you the whole thing, right?
[20:26] Hanako
I have to leave the best part
for you to try yourself.
[20:29] Kasumi
Hanako-san...
[20:31] Kasumi
I'll be it this time.
[20:33] Hanako
Y-Yeah.
[20:34] Hanako
I feel bad. Sorry.
[20:35] Hanako
Okay, Olivia and I are the daikon.
[20:38] Olivia
Okay.
[20:43] Kasumi
Daikon, takuan, buri
daikon, buri buri buri...
[20:49] Olivia
Is that really necessary?
[20:53] Hanako
We're moving fast!
[20:55] Olivia
Hang in there, Hanako!
[21:00] Kasumi
Hanako-san, you have to put more
strength in your lower back.
[21:08] Kasumi
Olivia! I'm levitating!
[21:10] Olivia
Hanako!
[21:11] Olivia
Mommy! Mommy!
[21:14] Olivia
Shoot. She's going to take me with her.
[21:18] Olivia
Olivia!
[21:20] Olivia
Why, Olivia?
[21:22] Olivia
Why have you betrayed me?
[21:24] Olivia
You're awful!
[21:25] Olivia
I don't want to die yet!
[21:27] Olivia
I'll see you on the other side, Olivia!
[21:42] Kasumi
Was this game always like this?
[21:45] Olivia
Things have gotten kind of awkward.
[21:48] Kasumi
Nah, Hanako-san was just over-acting.
[21:51] Hanako
You were totally into it, too, Kasumi-san.
[21:53] Sensei
Sorry I'm late, guys.
[21:55] Hanako
Sensei, let's play daikon pulling.
[21:57] Sensei
Oh, that's the game where you
tug at each other's legs, right?
[22:01] Sensei
I'm pretty good at holding on, you know.
SIGN Noo!
[22:07] N
She was the first to get pulled out.
7 - Phantom Thieves: Pass Club | Woman of Terror | Weirdo Go | Boobie Tragedy
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Phantom Thieves: Pass Club
SIGN Pastimers Club
[01:36] Aozora
I have to ask you for a favor.
[01:39] Aozora
There's something I need you to
find from the student council room.
[01:42] Aozora
The Banana Papers.
[01:48] Hanako
What's that?
[01:51] Aozora
I don't know much either.
[01:53] Aozora
I just know they have information
on scandals at school.
[01:57] Aozora
And that the Student Council President
is using it to blackmail students.
[02:03] Aozora
If it's true, it would be an invasion
of privacy, don't you think?
[02:07] Aozora
So please, I want you three to steal it.
[02:12] Hanako
I see.
[02:13] Hanako
So we just have to use our toys to
steal these so-called Banana Papers.
[02:21] Aozora
No, you can use whatever you want.
[02:23] Hanako
We can?!
[02:24] Olivia
Why would you ask us, then?
[02:28] Aozora
Because you smell sketchy.
[02:30] Hanako
She won't stop being mean!
[02:32] Olivia
B-But I don't think we're
obligated to steal it.
[02:39] Aozora
A sumo wrestler figure.
[02:40] Olivia
We'll do it!
[02:43] Kasumi
Uh... Olivia-sa—
[02:44] Aozora
Conversational English for Idiots.
[02:46] Kasumi
I'll do what I can.
[02:51] Hanako
Y-You aren't going to buy me out that easily.
[02:56] Hanako
I'm not that cheap!
[02:58] Aozora
And a bottle of nail polish for you, Hana-chan.
[02:59] Aozora
From the dollar store.
[03:00] Hanako
It's one of the Three Sacred
Treasures of the Popular Kids!
[03:06] N
And then what happened?
[03:07] Olivia
Hey, what do we do?
[03:09] Kasumi
I don't know.
[03:10] Olivia
I wonder if there's a good way to grab it.
[03:12] Kasumi
There's actually something I want to try.
[03:16] Olivia
What's that?
[03:17] Kasumi
How about we put out a warning?
SIGN Kasumi the First is coming
[03:19] Olivia
Kasumi talks like a complete dolt sometimes.
[03:22] Olivia
No way.
[03:23] Olivia
That's just going to look super suspicious!
[03:26] Kasumi
B-But...
[03:27] Kasumi
We can officially be phantom thieves now.
[03:29] Olivia
We aren't!
[03:30] Kasumi
Boo.
[03:32] Hanako
Guys, hear me out.
[03:34] Olivia
Hanako.
[03:35] Olivia
You're late.
[03:36] Hanako
I was getting something ready.
[03:38] Hanako
I've been thinking, too,
and I have a good idea.
[03:43] Olivia
What's that?
[03:45] Hanako
Check it out...
[03:47] Hanako
We can get stag beetles to steal it!
[03:51] Olivia
Why stag beetles?
[03:52] Hanako
Huh?
[03:53] Hanako
That's how you steal money
out of offertory boxes.
[03:57] Olivia
Please don't say that like that's
some kind of universal common sense!
[03:59] Olivia
Besides, there's no way a stag
beetle is going to listen to you.
[04:03] Kasumi
A-Also...
[04:04] Kasumi
Wouldn't we look stupid,
writing a warning that says
[04:07] Kasumi
"We're taking the Banana
Papers... with a stag beetle"?
[04:10] Olivia
You were going to spoil our crime
plan in your warning letter?!
[04:13] Hanako
Don't worry, man.
[04:15] Hanako
Right, Stag-chan?
[04:16] Hanako
I mean, Fantômas?
[04:18] Olivia
She already gave it a name!
[04:19] Olivia
How am I supposed to say "no" when
she's already attached to it?!
[04:22] Hanako
It'll work out, I promise.
[04:23] Hanako
Believe me.
[04:25] Olivia
A-All right.
[04:26] Olivia
Screw it, I don't care anymore.
[04:28] N
And so Hanako trained the stag beetle.
[04:32] N
Day in and day out, the stag beetle
underwent unthinkably arduous training.
[04:38] N
And finally, the day has come.
[04:41] Olivia
That was hard, hiding from the guard, huh?
[04:44] Hanako
Yeah...
[04:44] Hanako
I was hiding in the locker the whole
time, but the door wouldn't open.
[04:48] Hanako
I thought I was dead.
[04:49] Kasumi
The student council office
should be here somewhere.
SIGN Student Council Room
[04:52] Olivia
All right.
[04:57] Olivia
It's locked.
[04:59] Hanako
I got this.
[05:00] Hanako
Fantômas, please.
[05:05] Hanako
Yeah! Good job!
[05:07] Hanako
All that training paid off.
[05:09] Kasumi
Th-That's not the stag beetle I know.
[05:17] Kasumi
Wh-Where could it be?
[05:19] Hanako
Fantômas.
[05:26] Hanako
Is this it?
[05:27] Olivia
It straight-up says "Banana Papers" on it.
[05:29] Kasumi
It's not much of a secret, huh?
[05:31] Hanako
Do we just take this with us?
[05:33] Olivia
Let's go, hurry.
[05:34] Kasumi
Yeah.
[05:36] Hanako
Huh?
[05:37] President
It's not locked.
[05:40] Kasumi
O-Oh, no!
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Woman of Terror
[05:51] President
Oh, shoot, I forgot my homework hand-out
on the student council room desk.
[05:59] President
But what about the lock?
[06:03] President
Huh?
[06:05] President
It's not locked.
[06:14] Olivia
Wh-What now?
[06:16] Hanako
What are we supposed to do?
[06:17] Kasumi
What shall we do?
[06:19] President
Hand-out, hand-out...
[06:22] President
There.
[06:27] Olivia
Sh-Shit, she's coming this way.
[06:30] Hanako
I'm so scared.
[06:33] President
Huh?
[06:34] President
The chair we just bought
isn't in the right spot.
[06:37] President
Let's put it back.
[06:42] President
Wait, crap, I'm scared.
[06:44] President
I need to get out of here.
[06:55] Olivia
P-Please don't let Hanako...
[06:59] Olivia
fart right now.
[07:02] Hanako
Sh-Shoot, my butt wants to breathe right now.
[07:08] Hanako
Breathe, my butt, without making a voice!
[07:15] N
And then what happened?
[07:17] Olivia
That was a nightmare.
[07:19] Hanako
I said, "I'm sorry!"
[07:21] Hanako
I didn't think it would smell
bad if it was a silent one.
[07:23] Kasumi
Don't they call those "silent but deadly"?
[07:26] Kasumi
But at least we managed to escape.
[07:28] Kasumi
Not we just need to hand this over
to Aozora-san, who's waiting outside.
[07:31] Hanako
Hey, wait.
[07:34] Hanako
Don't you want to get a good look
at what's inside the Banana Papers?
[07:38] Olivia
I-I guess.
[07:40] Kasumi
I guess we could take a peek.
SIGN Pastimers Club
[07:43] Hanako
Okay, here we go.
[07:45] Hanako
All the myriad school scandals
laid bare in the Banana Papers!
[07:53] Olivia
It's the language teacher.
[07:55] Kasumi
What does it say?
[07:56] Hanako
Um...
[07:58] Hanako
"The language teacher was taken to the
hospital after licking potassium cyanide,
[08:01] Hanako
pretending to be a detective."
[08:04] Hanako
"His bizarre behavior was
because of the Pastimers Club."
[08:12] Hanako
O-Oh yeah, he was gone for,
like, two weeks after that.
[08:16] Kasumi
I feel like we've learned something
we shouldn't have known.
[08:19] Olivia
What else?
SIGN Mortal Enemies Popular Kids
[08:20] Olivia
"The Soft Tennis Club lost
in the regional primaries
[08:22] Olivia
after every single player lost in the first
round, having not won a single point."
[08:26] Olivia
"The reason for such a result...
[08:29] Olivia
is because Honda Hanako left
for the Pastimers Club."
[08:33] Olivia
"The reason the Shogi Club president ended
up with complex fractures all over was
[08:37] Olivia
because of the Pastimers Club."
[08:39] Olivia
"Time until she makes a full recovery and
takes revenge on the Pass Club... 105 days."
[08:47] Olivia
"The café fire was caused
by the Pastimers Club."
[08:51] Olivia
"The pen that Hanako was
spinning has been recovered."
[08:57] Hanako
Guess I'll burn it.
[08:58] Olivia
Wait, wait!
[08:59] Hanako
Let me go! We need to destroy
it and cover up our many crimes!
[09:04] Kasumi
"Our"?
[09:05] Kasumi
They were mostly Hanako-san's
fault, weren't they?
[09:07] Kasumi
W-Wait up!
[09:09] Kasumi
Let's read a little more.
[09:11] Kasumi
If we read a little more and find
some secrets besides our own...
[09:15] Kasumi
We can use those to our advantage
and put ourselves in power.
[09:21] Hanako
Yeah, okay.
[09:23] Olivia
All right, let's check the other pages.
[09:25] Hanako
Right.
[09:26] Hanako
"The guidance counselor and...
[09:31] Hanako
the Swimming Club president...
[09:36] Hanako
are sisters."
[09:40] Hanako
Yeah.
[09:41] Olivia
What else?
[09:42] Kasumi
That's so believable, it's not even useful.
[09:46] Hanako
"Olivia has...
[09:49] Hanako
a spicy scent coming from under
her arms and between her boobs."
[09:54] Olivia
Who the hell sold me out?!
[09:56] Hanako
We didn't!
[09:57] Olivia
Lies!
[09:58] Olivia
I had that feeling these days,
but I hadn't told anyone about it!
[10:01] Olivia
Hanako! It was you, wasn't it?
[10:03] Hanako
It wasn't! It wasn't!
[10:04] Hanako
Anyone in class would have noticed!
[10:09] Olivia
N-No...
[10:12] Hanako
Olivia...
[10:14] Hanako
It's okay, though.
[10:16] Hanako
You fall under the action threshold in the
Ministry of the Environment's odor index.
[10:25] Hanako
So you're totally fine.
[10:31] Olivia
Hanako...
[10:32] Kasumi
Olivia-san...
[10:34] Kasumi
I don't think you need to
worry about it, either.
[10:38] Kasumi
People abroad say perfumes and stuff
are made to smell good with body odor.
[10:46] Kasumi
There are some gentlemen who love that smell.
[10:51] Kasumi
And, besides...
[10:55] Kasumi
We've gotten used to it.
[11:02] Olivia
Guys, I love you.
[11:07] Hanako
What should we do next?
[11:08] Olivia
I think I want ice cream.
[11:10] Kasumi
That sounds good.
[11:11] Kasumi
Raskin-Bobbins is open until eleven.
[11:13] Olivia
I want chocolate mint.
[11:14] Hanako
Chocolate mint? That's toothpaste.
[11:17] Olivia
You're missing out if you
don't get that addictiveness.
[11:20] Hanako
Sure, sure.
[11:31] Aozora
They seriously left this
here and went to grab ice cream?
[11:34] Aozora
Girls are seriously stupid.
SIGN Reports regarding Aozora Tsugumi
[11:52] Aozora
What should I do with the rest of this book?
[11:55] Aozora
I guess I'll photocopy all of
it, and when I give it back,
[11:59] Aozora
I suppose I'll use all the information
about the Pastimers Club
[12:04] Aozora
to negotiate with them again.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Weirdo Go
[12:19] Hanako
They're still not done with remedial classes.
[12:34] Hanako
No one's around, which means
I can make all the faces I want!
[12:39] Kasumi
I got out of remedial classes early.
[12:43] Kasumi
Crap, I don't feel like going in.
[12:46] Kasumi
I should wait a little while after
Hanako-san's done with her crazy, right?
[12:51] Kasumi
Things were really bad when
we barged in last time, too.
[12:54] Kasumi
I shouldn't go in suddenly.
[12:57] Hanako
Oh yeah, Kasumi-san's desk...
[13:01] Hanako
She leaves her laptop in there.
[13:06] Kasumi
No!
[13:07] Kasumi
Not that!
[13:08] Kasumi
My super-epic BL novel is in there!
[13:12] Kasumi
Please, don't!
[13:13] Kasumi
Stop!
[13:14] Hanako
Oh man, she's using Windows XP!
[13:17] Hanako
Kasumi-san takes really
good care of her stuff.
SIGN Welcome Starting up
[13:20] Hanako
It boots up without a password!
[13:24] Kasumi
I have to go.
[13:24] Kasumi
I still have time!
[13:26] Kasumi
Okay!
[13:27] Hanako
"Locked Up Love: The Taste of a Boy's Honey."
[13:32] Hanako
Let's see...
[13:34] Hanako
"The kind senpai from the Ping Pong Club
traps the protagonist in the gym storage."
[13:39] Hanako
"'Please, don't!' I screamed
in dread, towards a face
[13:39] [SONG] Text
Note: Please enjoy with this imagery extracted
from Hanako's measly imagination.
[13:44] Hanako
which I'd thought was so familiar."
[13:47] Hanako
"'How could you do this to me?'"
[13:50] Hanako
Nice, nice.
[13:52] Kasumi
Stop!
[13:53] Kasumi
All my secret desires are in there!
[13:56] Senpai
I hate to do this to you, but
you'll have to shut up for a bit.
[14:01] Protagonist
Is... Is that...
[14:05] Protagonist
Is that the extra-sticky type of duct tape?!
[14:09] Senpai
That's right.
[14:10] Senpai
This is the extra-sticky type of duct tape.
[14:16] Hanako
"The duct tape had stuck to Senpai's
tongue, immobilizing him."
[14:22] Protagonist
Now!
[14:27] Hanako
Weird...
[14:28] Hanako
I feel like I just saw something
I wasn't supposed to.
[14:32] Hanako
Oh, no...
[14:34] Hanako
I can't wait to erase it from my memory.
[14:38] Hanako
This is going to mess me up.
[14:41] Hanako
Let's put it back.
[14:45] Kasumi
I want to know what she thinks.
[14:49] Hanako
Kasumi-san, are you done
with remedial classes?
[14:51] Kasumi
Hey...
[14:53] Kasumi
Um...
[14:55] Kasumi
Did you read it?
[14:56] Hanako
Norpe.
[15:02] Hanako
She had to have seen everything
I was doing to ask that!
[15:08] Hanako
I have to change the subject.
I have to distract her.
[15:11] Hanako
Hey, you know...
[15:13] Hanako
You're pretty...
[15:15] Hanako
weird, huh?
[15:23] Olivia
I'm finally done with remedial classes.
[15:25] Olivia
Huh? What's wrong, you two?
[15:28] Kasumi
O-Olivia-san...
[15:31] Kasumi
Kill me, please.
[15:33] Hanako
Kill me, too!
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Boobie Tragedy
[15:42] Olivia
Done.
[15:43] Olivia
Look, look.
[15:45] Hanako
You're so quick, Olivia.
[15:47] Olivia
It's the simplest one.
[15:48] Olivia
All I did was make a straight
stitch and run elastic through it.
[15:50] Kasumi
We have to take a picture and submit
it along with the clothes, right?
[15:53] Kasumi
Here I go.
[15:54] Hanako
I can't believe we'd have to submit our
home economics project before summer break.
[15:59] Kasumi
I-I'm done, too.
[16:01] Hanako
Whoa, Kasumi, you're done your
difficulty level S shirt?
[16:04] Olivia
Let's take a picture.
[16:06] Kasumi
Hang on, I'll get changed.
[16:14] Olivia
Maybe that's the wrong size.
[16:17] Kasumi
All my work has gone to waste.
SIGN Does that actually happen?
[16:21] Hanako
Does that actually happen?
[16:23] Kasumi
This is how it always is.
[16:25] Kasumi
Nothing good's come of having big breasts.
[16:29] Kasumi
Even if I find cute clothes at the shop,
a lot of the time, my breasts don't fit.
[16:34] Kasumi
Just the other day, I found a cute shirt
at the shop and tried it on, but...
[16:40] Kasumi
The printing on the shirt screamed "no
more" in its death throes as it cracked.
[16:45] Olivia
Printings don't talk, do they?
[16:46] Kasumi
I swear, I could hear it!
[16:48] Kasumi
It spoke directly to my brain!
[16:50] Kasumi
By the way, I paid for it!
[16:52] Hanako
I want to hear such death throes, too.
[16:55] Kasumi
What am I supposed to do with this?
[16:59] Olivia
I have a good idea.
[17:01] Kasumi
A-A good idea?
[17:02] Olivia
Yeah.
[17:03] Olivia
I saw this fancy way of wearing
it on a fashion magazine.
[17:06] Olivia
If you can't wear that shirt on top...
[17:09] Olivia
You can wear it as a bottom. Right?
[17:11] Kasumi
Why would you lie that you have a good idea?
[17:13] Olivia
It's not a lie!
[17:15] Olivia
A model said it's in style right now!
SIGN Like this
[17:19] Kasumi
Do you know about this, Hanako-san?
[17:20] Hanako
Huh? Yeah, totally!
[17:22] Hanako
Crap, I never knew about this.
[17:23] Olivia
Let's try it on as a skirt, then.
[17:26] Hanako
I mean, it's worth a try, right?
[17:28] Kasumi
I-Is this right?
[17:31] Olivia
That's it.
[17:32] Olivia
Yup, yup.
[17:32] Hanako
Okay, Kasumi-san, look this way.
[17:35] Hanako
Say "cheese."
[17:39] Hanako
There.
[17:39] Hanako
And sent.
[17:40] Kasumi
Wait, wait, stop!
[17:42] Kasumi
I don't want the teacher to
think I'm a weird student.
[17:47] Hanako
Kasumi-san...
[17:49] Hanako
People are all weird in one way or another.
[17:53] Kasumi
N-No, I don't mean like that.
[17:56] Olivia
What to do, then?
[17:59] Hanako
We can't submit a photo with
a full view of her cleavage.
[18:03] Hanako
Okay, let's do some emergency repairs.
[18:05] Kasumi
H-H-H-H-H-How?
[18:08] Hanako
There isn't enough around your breasts,
so we just need to add more fabric there.
[18:12] Kasumi
I-I see.
[18:14] Kasumi
Um...
[18:14] Kasumi
I might mess up again if I do it.
[18:17] Kasumi
Could you do it for me?
[18:18] Hanako
Sure.
[18:19] Hanako
First, we cut in a circle in the breast area.
[18:22] Hanako
And then we add some more
with a bigger sheet, and...
[18:26] Hanako
There, done..
[18:27] Hanako
Try it on, Kasumi-san.
[18:29] Kasumi
Okay.
[18:34] Hanako
Oh nuts, that's not what I had in mind.
[18:38] Kasumi
It still feels tight around my breasts.
[18:41] Kasumi
I'll take a look in the mirror.
[18:43] Hanako
Wait up!
[18:45] Hanako
I'll fix it one more time.
[18:46] Hanako
Please don't look in a mirror,
even if your life depends on it.
[18:49] Olivia
Uh, Hanako...
[18:50] Olivia
Those are definitely nip—
[18:52] Hanako
Olivia-chan!
[18:54] Hanako
Shut up!
[18:55] Hanako
It's because I cut too small around it.
[18:58] Hanako
I'll try again with a bigger piece.
[19:01] Hanako
Uh... Where's the left over cloth?
[19:05] Hanako
I don't have enough.
[19:06] Hanako
O-Okay, let's combine it with the other
one to at least hide her cleavage.
[19:12] Hanako
K-Kasumi, could you try it on again?
[19:16] Kasumi
Okay.
[19:21] Hanako
At least her cleavage is covered now.
[19:24] Olivia
Hanako! Get a grip on reality!
[19:26] Olivia
You should wear it as a skirt.
[19:28] Kasumi
B-But...
[19:29] Kasumi
You look like this right now.
[19:33] Hanako
Kasumi-san, I'm sorry!
[19:34] Hanako
I'm so sorry!
[19:36] Olivia
Is there another way to wear
it, other than as a skirt?
[19:39] Hanako
This is the last resort.
[19:45] Kasumi
Kasumi-san!
[19:46] Kasumi
What can I do to make it up to you?
[19:49] Kasumi
Come with me to explain to
the teacher what happened.
[19:53] Hanako
O-Okay.
[19:55] Olivia
It's just yours that's left, Hanako.
[19:56] Olivia
What did you make?
[19:59] Hanako
I feel really bad after what
I just did to Kasumi-san's, but...
[20:04] Hanako
Ta-da, I made a yukata!
[20:07] Olivia
That's amazing!
[20:08] Kasumi
Hanako-san's deliberately playing it cool.
[20:11] Kasumi
I'm used to making yukatas.
[20:14] Kasumi
I should have done that instead.
[20:16] Olivia
Oh, really?
[20:17] Olivia
Why did you make a shirt, then?
[20:19] Kasumi
No one went for it, so I got too adventurous.
[20:21] Olivia
Okay, let's take a picture now, then.
[20:23] Hanako
Hang on, I'll go get changed.
[20:25] Hanako
Huh?
[20:29] Hanako
W-Well?
[20:31] Olivia
Nice!
[20:33] Olivia
Go stand over there.
[20:34] Hanako
Okay.
[20:36] Hanako
How does it look?
[20:37] Olivia
Huh?
[20:39] Olivia
I see your elbow jutting out weirdly.
[20:42] Hanako
What am I supposed to do?!
[20:44] Kasumi
I think it's because you don't
have enough sleeve width.
[20:48] Hanako
Kasumi-san, do you know how to fix it?
[20:50] Kasumi
Yes.
[20:53] Hanako
Never mind.
[20:54] Hanako
You're totally scheming something!
[20:56] Kasumi
Come on, now, leave it to me.
[20:59] Hanako
No!
[21:00] Hanako
Kasumi-san! Put down the scissors!
SIGN Japanese Pastimes, Please
[22:34] N
Red Light, Green Light.
SIGN Red Light, Green Light
SIGN Captive
[22:37] N
An infiltration technique for dispatching
a target silently from behind,
SIGN Landmines
SIGN Captive
[22:44] N
without being noticed by the target.
[22:47] N
It is said to have begun in 1845, when
Lieutenant Commander Richard Rodriguez
[22:51] N
made use of it to improve the
success rate of his missions.
[22:57] ---
The hell?
[22:58] N
It was common at the time to hide
inside boxes or in the shadows,
[23:02] N
and skill was required
of those carrying it out.
[23:12] Kasumi
Snake!
[23:13] Hanako
I'm not Snake.
[23:16] N
Nowadays, anyone can engage
in an infiltration,
SIGN Landmines
SIGN Captive
[23:20] N
thanks to the introduction of
optical cloaking technology.
[23:31] ---
You guys again?!
[23:35] Kasumi
Snape!
[23:37] Hanako
Uh, I'm not Snape.
8 - Gotta "Catch" 'em All! | Divine Revelation | The Evil Sugoroku
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Gotta "Catch" 'em All!
[01:38] Hanako
Olivia's playing that game.
[01:40] Hanako
Are there any monsters in
this classroom, though?
[01:42] Hanako
Olivia, is that any fun?
[01:44] Olivia
Yeah.
[01:45] Hanako
I haven't installed it yet.
[01:47] Olivia
This game's popular in my country right now.
[01:50] Hanako
In your country, too, huh?
[01:52] Hanako
That's amazing.
[01:53] Hanako
It really is popular worldwide.
[01:55] Olivia
It is.
[01:56] Olivia
Bactéri Go is so fun.
[02:00] Hanako
What game is Olivia playing, exactly?
[02:03] Hanako
That's not the one where you
collect monsters and stuff, is it?
[02:07] Olivia
Huh? Monsters?
[02:08] Olivia
Nah, it's a game where you collect the
bacteria that's crawling all around you.
[02:16] Olivia
Oh yeah?
[02:17] Olivia
It's popular worldwide? I never knew.
[02:19] Olivia
That's kind of cool, since
it was made in my country.
[02:22] Hanako
I don't think it's popular anywhere else.
[02:27] Olivia
But the bacteria drawings are so cute.
[02:30] Hanako
So how does the game work?
[02:32] Olivia
Um...
[02:33] Olivia
You put your phone up like this.
[02:37] Olivia
I found some around your desk, Hanako.
[02:41] Olivia
I got a cute one!
[02:44] Olivia
Really? What did you get?
[02:45] Olivia
Black mold from around the
lip of your water bottle.
[02:49] Hanako
That's not real, is it?
[02:50] Hanako
That's a virtual thing to
make the game fun, right?
[02:54] Olivia
This is a cutting edge
smartphone from my country.
[02:56] Olivia
It has a bacteria detection feature.
[02:59] Hanako
Say what?
[02:59] Hanako
Why do they have such an excessively
useless high-tech feature on it?
[03:02] Olivia
Don't worry, though.
[03:05] Olivia
I caught it in my phone.
[03:07] Olivia
Got it!
[03:10] Hanako
Hey, does it have a sanitizing feature?
[03:16] Olivia
Got placebo effect?
[03:18] Hanako
That doesn't work!
[03:19] Hanako
Seriously, all it did was let me
know there's bacteria everywhere!
[03:23] Hanako
I just feel even worse!
[03:25] Olivia
What? Just wash it.
[03:27] Kasumi
Hey, sorry I'm late.
[03:29] Hanako
Kasumi-san, hear me out!
[03:30] Hanako
Olivia's collecting bacteria
from all over the classroom!
[03:35] Hanako
Wait, Kasumi-san, don't go!
[03:37] Hanako
Don't leave me!
[03:38] Hanako
So yeah, that's what happened.
[03:40] Kasumi
Oh, I see, it's a game.
[03:44] Olivia
I wonder what kind of bacteria
are on your desk, Kasumi.
[03:53] Hanako
Wait, Olivia, what the hell are you doing?!
[03:55] Olivia
I couldn't find a single bacterium,
[03:57] Olivia
so I thought they might show
up if I drooled or something.
[03:59] Hanako
No, no!
[04:00] Hanako
You can't give up on your
humanity just for a game!
[04:02] Olivia
I bet you'd all do the same thing.
[04:04] Kasumi
I sterilize my desk with alcohol.
[04:07] Hanako
You sterilize your desk?!
[04:09] Hanako
Are you a germophobe?
[04:10] Olivia
Whose side are you on, Hanako?
[04:12] Olivia
I guess I'll just give Hanako's
black mold a name for now.
[04:16] Hanako
Call it Maeda.
[04:17] Olivia
Sure.
[04:18] Kasumi
What exactly is Maeda-san to Hanako-san?
[04:20] Olivia
I bet there's a lot around you, Hanako.
[04:23] Olivia
And not just on your water bottle.
[04:24] Hanako
My desk's decently clean, too!
[04:26] Olivia
That notebook and writing mat
look pretty suspicious, though.
[04:32] Hanako
Why would this be dirty?
[04:34] Hanako
It's my favorite Boys School Wars mat!
[04:37] Olivia
Okay.
[04:39] Kasumi
Let's see.
[04:44] Kasumi
Hanako-san...
[04:45] Kasumi
Did you take a dump on your writing mat?
[04:47] Hanako
What the hell kind of question is that?!
[04:50] Hanako
What do I need to have done to my head
to want to squat over my writing mat?
[04:53] Kasumi
But, like...
[04:54] Olivia
I got fecal bacteria from your writing mat.
[05:00] Hanako
My cat was making weird
motions on my mat a lot.
[05:04] (Flashback) Hanako
So cute!
[05:07] (Flashback) Hanako
Maeda, Ken-chan, look!
[05:08] (Flashback) Hanako
It's so cute!
[05:10] Hanako
I probably should have been stopping it!
[05:13] Hanako
Uh, it wasn't me, but it
might have been wiped.
[05:16] Kasumi
By whom?!
[05:17] Hanako
My cat.
[05:18] Olivia
Can I check all your stuff, then, Hanako?
[05:21] Hanako
Go ahead.
[05:22] Hanako
Check everything, please.
[05:24] Olivia
Found some.
[05:25] Olivia
Here, too.
[05:26] Olivia
It's a new species!
[05:29] Olivia
Thank you, Hanako!
[05:33] Hanako
I'm glad you're happy, Olivia.
[05:37] Kasumi
Um, Hanako-san, can I sterilize
everything you own later?
[05:41] Kasumi
And Olivia-san, please wash your
hands when you're done playing.
[05:47] Kasumi
I guess we should head home.
[05:48] Hanako
Yeah.
[05:50] Hanako
Olivia, you forgot your phone.
[05:53] Hanako
You left the game open, too.
[05:55] Olivia
Oh, right.
[05:58] Olivia
Sorry, I blanked out.
[05:59] Olivia
Thanks.
[06:02] Hanako
Hey, what's the exclamation mark things?
[06:05] Olivia
That's when there's a lot of bacteria!
[06:07] Olivia
Where? Where?
[06:11] Hanako
Over there.
[06:12] Kasumi
Couldn't you lie a little better?!
[06:13] Olivia
Really?
[06:15] Olivia
Oh, you're right.
[06:17] Olivia
On your cheek.
[06:19] Kasumi
It's from when she was rubbing
the mat against her face.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Divine Revelation
[06:29] Hanako
I went clothes shopping with
Olivia and Kasumi-san...
[06:34] Hanako
But why did I buy this?
[06:39] Hanako
Why does it look so pretty when it's at
the store, but so disappointing at home?
[06:45] Hanako
Why does the shop staff's magic
words of "It looks so good on you"
[06:49] Hanako
wear off when you get home?
[06:52] Hanako
Someone intelligent, please tell me.
[06:57] Hanako
I know, Kasumi-san!
[06:59] Hanako
She encouraged me!
[07:01] Hanako
I have to call Kasumi-san!
[07:04] Kasumi
Hello? Hanako-san?
[07:07] Hanako
Hey, Kasumi-san...
[07:09] Hanako
The shopping trip today...
[07:12] Kasumi
That was fun.
[07:13] Kasumi
Let's go again.
[07:14] Kasumi
I've never gone clothes shopping
with my friends before.
[07:17] Hanako
Hey...
[07:19] Hanako
The clothes I bought...
[07:21] Hanako
They weren't weird, were they?
[07:25] Hanako
Hey, why did you say "it's nice"?
[07:34] Kasumi
What's happening right now?
[07:37] Kasumi
B-Back at the shop?
[07:40] Hanako
Yeah.
[07:41] Hanako
Back at the shop.
[07:43] Hanako
I asked, "What do you think?" remember?
[07:47] Kasumi
Oh yeah...
[07:49] (Flashback) Hanako
Hey, Kasumi-san, what do you think of this?
[07:51] Kasumi
Crazy.
[07:53] (Flashback) Hanako
What do you think?
[07:54] (Flashback) Kasumi
W-Well...
[07:57] Kasumi
Hanako-san seems to like it
[08:00] (Flashback) Kasumi
I-I think it's nice.
[08:02] Kasumi
Or so I said, but...
[08:04] Hanako
You were like...
[08:07] Hanako
"You look so good. I think you could
get any guy in the world wearing that.
[08:11] Hanako
You'll be balling. Buy it, dude."
[08:14] Hanako
Remember?
[08:16] Kasumi
How is her memory so distorted?!
[08:18] Kasumi
She got everything wrong except "I think."
[08:20] Kasumi
Hang on.
[08:21] Kasumi
Her memory's really distorted, which means...
[08:24] Kasumi
U-Uh...
[08:27] Kasumi
I don't think I was the one who said that.
[08:30] Kasumi
I was in the washroom at the time.
[08:34] Kasumi
It was actually Olivia-san
that was in the washroom.
[08:39] Hanako
Then who said that?
[08:43] Hanako
Olivia?
[08:47] Kasumi
Yes.
[08:54] Hanako
Sorry, I made a mistake.
[08:56] Hanako
I'll ask Olivia.
[09:02] Kasumi
Forgive me!
[09:06] Olivia
Hey, Hanako, what's up?
[09:08] Hanako
Hey, about the clothes I bought today...
[09:12] Olivia
What did you end up buying?
[09:13] Olivia
I want to see.
[09:14] Olivia
Send me pictures.
[09:15] Hanako
Huh?
[09:16] Hanako
O-Okay.
[09:19] Olivia
Here we go.
[09:22] Olivia
It's so cute!
[09:23] Olivia
Onii-chan, look!
[09:25] Hanako
Olivia, stop!
[09:28] Hanako
What are they talking about?
[09:30] Olivia
My brother says that the silhouette makes you
[09:34] Olivia
look like you're wearing
virgin killer clothes!
[09:38] Hanako
I kill them wearing these clothes?
[09:40] Hanako
Virgins?
[09:41] Hanako
Virgins specifically?
[09:43] Hanako
Virgins?
[09:45] Hanako
Did they do something wrong?
[09:48] Hanako
They've angered God because they aren't
trying to propagate the species?
[09:53] Hanako
Wait, I'm going to look it up.
[09:54] Olivia
Look what up?
[09:55] Hanako
Wait, hold on.
[09:57] Hanako
Every living thing is born a virgin.
[10:00] Hanako
Then do you anger God when you're
a virgin over a certain age?
[10:05] Hanako
The oldest new father in the world...
[10:07] Hanako
Ninety-six years old, in India.
[10:10] Hanako
Amazing.
[10:11] Hanako
Which means, even if you lost your virginity
at 96, you can preserve your species.
[10:18] Hanako
So is it God's wish that
I kill all virgins 97 or older?
[10:26] Hanako
Could I even tell who they are?
[10:29] Hanako
No, I don't think I could.
[10:32] Hanako
Since I'm looking it up right now,
I should look up "virgin killer clothes."
[10:36] Hanako
I don't want to see gory pictures, though.
[10:39] Olivia
Wait, Hanako, do you know what
"virgin killer clothes" are?
[10:43] Olivia
You should look it up.
[10:44] Hanako
I-Is it safe?
[10:46] Olivia
Huh? Yeah.
SIGN The newest in virgin killer clothes Virgin killer clothes... "Virgin killer clothes" viral on social media Everyday fashion...
[10:48] Hanako
Huh? It's all cute pictures.
SIGN Tried wearing "virgin killer clothes" for a week Virgin killer clothes... All the buzz about virgin killer clothes Virgin killer clothes with the newest accessories
[10:53] Hanako
It's the Specially Designated Secrets Act!
[10:55] Hanako
Or a Freemason conspiracy!
[10:58] Olivia
Hey, let's hit up Harajuku wearing that.
[11:01] Olivia
My brother says you can hunt some virgins.
[11:03] Hanako
Harajuku's in a Mad Max situation already?!
[11:08] Hanako
I haven't seen any news about virgins
being killed in Harajuku, though.
[11:14] Hanako
The government is meddling with the media!
[11:17] Hanako
Is this what they call "state
control of information"?
[11:21] Hanako
Is it safe for civilians to go?
[11:24] Olivia
Sure it is.
[11:25] Olivia
Let's go, let's go.
[11:26] Olivia
I'll wear something cute, too.
[11:29] Olivia
Kasumi could probably kill them
instantly, wearing something like this.
[11:31] Olivia
I bet she could really show off her boobs.
[11:34] Hanako
I have a feeling Kasumi-san
knows a lot about survival.
[11:38] Hanako
Like, long-range sniping.
[11:40] Olivia
Like a cupid, you mean?
[11:41] Hanako
Huh? Yeah.
[11:43] Hanako
We won't get convicted for killing virgins?
[11:46] Olivia
"They stole your heart."
[11:49] Olivia
Or something like that. We're heart thieves.
[11:51] Hanako
We're stealing their hearts?
[11:53] Hanako
What violent girlfriends!
[11:55] Hanako
I never knew...
[11:57] Hanako
I thought we lived in a peaceful world.
[12:00] Olivia
Hanako?
[12:02] Hanako
I'll do it.
[12:04] Hanako
If God wills it,
[12:07] Hanako
I'll kill virgins.
[12:10] Hanako
So should I use a knife?
[12:15] Olivia
What's she talking about?
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN The Evil Sugoroku
[12:25] Hanako
What are you up to, Olivia?
[12:28] Olivia
I'm actuallyreally good at Memory.
[12:34] Hanako
You're so stupid.
[12:36] Hanako
You need to have good memory to play Memory.
[12:40] Hanako
Why would you be good at it when
you can't even study at all?
[12:43] Olivia
Just watch!
[12:45] Olivia
Here I go.
[12:46] Olivia
This one and this one.
[12:48] Olivia
This and this.
[12:50] Olivia
This and this.
[12:52] Olivia
This and this.
[12:53] Olivia
This and this.
[12:54] Olivia
This and this.
[12:55] Olivia
This and this.
[12:56] Olivia
This and this.
[12:57] Olivia
This and... this.
[13:05] Olivia
Yay, I got them all on my first try!
[13:07] Olivia
I'm awesome, right?
[13:08] Olivia
I have pretty good memory, don't you think?
[13:12] Hanako
Did that even have anything
to do with memory?
[13:16] Hanako
Kasumi-san, want to go pee together?
[13:20] Kasumi
O-Okay.
[13:22] Hanako
You saw that, right?
[13:24] Kasumi
Yes, it was amazing.
[13:26] Hanako
What do you think?
[13:28] Kasumi
She was lucky, or something?
[13:31] Hanako
Do you really think that's all?
[13:32] Kasumi
But there's no other explanation.
[13:35] Hanako
Y-You're right.
[13:37] Hanako
Let's test to see if
she's really lucky, then.
[13:40] Kasumi
How?
[13:41] Hanako
With the ultimate game of chance...
[13:45] Hanako
The sugoroku!
[13:48] Olivia
We're going to play sugoroku now?
[13:50] Olivia
It's going to take a while, isn't it?
[13:51] Hanako
Is it?
[13:52] Kasumi
I-It's Hanako-san's hand-made sugoroku.
[13:54] Kasumi
It could be fun.
[13:56] Hanako
It is.
[13:57] Hanako
My hand-made games are a little different.
[13:59] Hanako
Every cell has a penalty!
SIGN Wrap a necktie around your head Finish ice cream in a single bite Read Kasumi-san's novel out loud Drink a pack of extra spicy curry Imitate a body builder
[14:03] Olivia
So dirty!
[14:05] Kasumi
Is Hanako-san even thinking about
the fact that she's playing, too?
[14:08] Hanako
Okay, let's decide who goes first
by playing rock-paper-scissors.
[14:10] Hanako
Rock, paper, scissors!
[14:11] Olivia
Yay, I'm first!
[14:13] Hanako
She's lucky.
[14:14] Kasumi
I know, right?
[14:15] Olivia
Here I go.
[14:19] Olivia
I only get one?
[14:21] Hanako
Huh?
[14:21] Kasumi
Huh?
[14:22] Olivia
One is...
SIGN Chug a fizzy drink Make pig noises
SIGN Start
[14:26] Olivia
P-Pig?
[14:30] Olivia
Oink...
[14:33] Hanako
Shit, that's cute.
[14:35] Hanako
You're clear.
[14:36] Kasumi
Hanako-san just clicked her tongue.
[14:38] Olivia
This is way too hard right off the bat!
[14:40] Kasumi
Okay, next...
[14:42] Kasumi
Four...
[14:44] Hanako
Let's see...
[14:45] Hanako
Pretend to be a dog peeing on a power pole.
[14:49] Kasumi
I-I can be a female, right?
[14:51] Hanako
No, it's the males that pee on power
poles with one leg up, remember?
[15:00] Olivia
Um, Kasumi, you can do something
else instead, you know...
[15:05] Hanako
Let's do her the kindness of watching
her spirited peeing performance.
[15:13] Kasumi
Tinkle, tinkle...
[15:15] Hanako
Well done, Kasumi-san, good job.
[15:19] Hanako
You're clear.
[15:21] Kasumi
H-Hanako-san...
[15:24] Kasumi
I don't want to play this sugoroku anymore!
[15:27] Hanako
Oh, my.
[15:28] Hanako
Kasumi-san, we're still on our first turn.
[15:31] Hanako
We're just getting started.
[15:34] Kasumi
Th-This is an evil sugoroku that
turns people into monsters!
[15:37] Hanako
Okay, I'm up next.
[15:41] Hanako
Six!
[15:42] Olivia
Six!
[15:43] Hanako
Six is...
SIGN Have your butt slapped by the other two
[15:48] Olivia
Uh, Hanako, that's...
[15:51] Kasumi
That's got to be the worst one!
[15:55] Hanako
Hurry up and do it.
[15:57] Kasumi
I don't want to be the one to do it, either!
[15:59] Olivia
A-Are you sure?
[16:02] Hanako
Yeah.
[16:06] Olivia
Please don't make weird noises.
[16:09] Hanako
But...
[16:10] Hanako
Not even my dad has slapped me before.
[16:13] Olivia
I-I believe you.
[16:14] Olivia
Go ahead.
[16:20] Hanako
Kasumi-san...
[16:22] Hanako
You went easy on me, didn't you?
[16:24] Kasumi
But...
[16:25] Hanako
Don't!
[16:26] Hanako
Hit me properly!
[16:28] Kasumi
But...
[16:28] Hanako
Do it!
[16:30] Hanako
I'm already prepared!
[16:33] Hanako
Make it sound really good!
[16:36] Kasumi
Hanako-san...
[16:38] Hanako
I'm kidding.
[16:40] Hanako
I tried acting tough.
[16:42] Hanako
I'm kidding.
[16:43] Kasumi
I feel your resolve.
[16:50] Hanako
My ass is destroyed!
[16:53] Kasumi
And that's what you wanted, was it not?
[16:56] Hanako
Okay, next, go ahead.
SIGN Crawl one lap around the hallway like a baby
[17:08] Olivia
Please don't run into anyone...
[17:09] Olivia
Please don't run into anyone...
[17:11] Hanako
Olivia's crawling isn't
so much like a baby...
[17:13] Hanako
...as a cockroach.
[17:16] Olivia
Crap, the student council president!
[17:18] President
Olivia-san.
[17:19] President
Perfect.
[17:20] President
There was something I wanted to
ask you about the Pastimers Club.
[17:23] President
You haven't submitted a proposal for your
cultural festival display, have you?
[17:27] Olivia
Shoot, I don't know why I ran away.
[17:29] President
Hold it.
[17:31] President
Humans can travel faster on two
legs than on four, Olivia-san.
[17:39] President
Give it up.
SIGN Pastimers Club
[17:43] Kasumi
Over here.
[17:51] Olivia
I was so scared, I could die.
[17:54] Hanako
I bet.
[17:55] Kasumi
Okay, next.
SIGN The next person
sits up like a dog
--Maeda
[17:57] Kasumi
You're the next person, right, Hanako-san?
[18:00] Kasumi
Apparently you're supposed to "chin chin."
[18:02] Hanako
Did I ever write that?!
[18:03] Hanako
No way, I don't remember writing that!
[18:05] Kasumi
It's signed by Maeda-san.
[18:07] Hanako
Damn it, Maeda!
[18:09] Hanako
I asked him for help on one spot,
[18:11] Hanako
but that's one of those things
that would get censored!
[18:13] Hanako
Is "chin chin" the balls and the stick?
[18:17] Hanako
Or is it just the stick?
[18:18] Hanako
No way, that's way too dirty!
[18:22] Hanako
I don't want to lose my purity yet!
[18:24] Hanako
No, spare me!
[18:30] Olivia
Isn't it "chin chin" as in,
"sit up and beg like a dog"?
[18:32] Kasumi
Hey, just wondering...
[18:34] Kasumi
Did you do some studying after that day?
[18:36] Hanako
The Internet's just too useful.
[18:40] Kasumi
Yeah.
[18:41] Kasumi
It is, isn't it?
[18:43] Olivia
Okay, do the chin chin.
[18:45] Olivia
Okay, you're good.
[18:46] Olivia
All right, next.
[18:48] Kasumi
O-Okay.
[18:49] Hanako
I'm going to make you both
suffer the same humiliation!
[18:56] Olivia
No, you totally just screwed
yourself over there, Hanako!
[19:00] N
And so the sugoroku game continued,
under Hanako's afflicting gaze.
SIGN Cry like a phoenix Make koala sounds Wrap a necktie around your head
[19:07] Hanako
That's not good enough!
[19:08] Kasumi
Wh-What do koalas sound like, again?
[19:11] Olivia
Hang on, I'll find a video.
[19:16] Olivia
She looks kind of happy!
[19:24] Olivia
She looks like it didn't amuse her
as much as she thought it would!
[19:27] N
A few turns later...
[19:31] Olivia
Um, Sensei...
[19:33] ---
Eh, what is it?
SIGN "Do English tongue twisters in front of a teacher"
[19:35] Olivia
Peter popsicle, piccolo peephole,
whoa, bazinga, boobies!
[19:40] Hanako
You're next, Kasumi-san.
[19:41] Kasumi
No way!
[19:42] Kasumi
You go first, please, Hanako-san.
[19:44] Hanako
Sensei, look!
[19:47] Hanako
Pretty Soldier Honda Hanako!
SIGN Do a Sailor Mon impression in front of a teacher
[19:52] Hanako
In the name of justice...
[19:55] Kasumi
Don't, you're going to get put in
jail for saying stuff like that!
[19:58] Hanako
I punish...
[20:05] Hanako
Sensei, don't look at me like that!
[20:07] Hanako
It's way too awkward!
[20:11] Sensei
Shoot, I froze up because she suddenly*
started calling herself a bishoujo.
[20:16] Sensei
I see.
[20:18] Sensei
They want me to play with them.
[20:20] Sensei
All right.
[20:21] Sensei
I'll make a proper reaction next time.
[20:23] Kasumi
S-Sensei...
SIGN Fire a Kamehameha in front of a teacher
[20:27] Kasumi
Ka... me... ha... me...
[20:34] Kasumi
Ha!
[20:35] Sensei
Here we go!
[20:36] Sensei
I'll do it!
[20:37] Sensei
I'll pretend I got hit!
[20:38] Sensei
Hidebu!
[20:42] Hanako
That sounded really bad.
[20:46] Hanako
S-Sensei, are you okay?!
[20:49] Kasumi
That definitely wasn't the right posture
for when you take a Kamehameha.
[20:52] Kasumi
Th-Thank you, Sensei.
[20:55] Hanako
You're so kind, Sensei.
[20:57] Kasumi
Yes.
[20:59] Sensei
I should go to the nurse's office.
SIGN Pastimers Club
[21:04] Kasumi
I don't want to play this sugoroku anymore!
[21:06] Hanako
Kasumi-san...
[21:08] Hanako
I don't want to play anymore, either.
[21:11] Hanako
How did this happen?
[21:14] Kasumi
Well, you made it, Hanako.
[21:16] N
And so they mustered what was
left of their strength...
SIGN Goal!
SIGN Goal!
[21:21] Kasumi
Congrats on finishing first, Kasumi-san!
[21:23] Kasumi
Thank you.
[21:26] Hanako
Oh, Kasumi-san, let's go pee together.
[21:31] Hanako
So hey, was Olivia lucky?
[21:34] Kasumi
I don't know.
[21:35] Kasumi
I don't think she had it any
less terrible than we did.
[21:39] Hanako
Then the only other way she could
have won that memory game...
[21:44] Kasumi
She has psychic powers?
[21:47] Olivia
Oh yeah, I used magic trick
cards for that memory game.
[21:53] Olivia
I thought I'd surprise those two, but they were
more surprised than I thought they'd be.
[21:58] Olivia
Especially Hanako's face...
[22:01] Olivia
Shoot, it makes me laugh
just thinking about it.
[22:07] Hanako
She's doing a creepy laugh!
9 - Troubles of a Fake Foreigner | A Dutchey Wife | Genetic Engineering
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Troubles of a Fake Foreigner
[01:33] Sensei
Okay, let's call it a day.
[01:35] Sensei
We're going to have a quiz next class.
[01:37] Sensei
Be sure to memorize the
words we worked on today.
[01:49] Olivia
Seriously, those two never say
a word when we're in class.
[01:55] Olivia
And thanks to that...
[01:56] Girl A
Olivia-san.
[01:58] Girl A
Hey, have you gotten used to Japanese yet?
[02:00] Olivia
S-Slowly.
[02:03] Olivia
People still think I don't
speak Japanese fluently.
[02:06] Girl B
She's gotten a bit better
than in the beginning, right?
[02:09] Girl A
Yeah, yeah.
[02:09] Girl A
Oh, and there's something I wanted you
to help us with from class today...
[02:13] Olivia
Again!
[02:15] Olivia
N-Native English and exam English
might be a bit different.
[02:20] Girl B
Really?
[02:21] Olivia
So you're better off asking the teacher.
[02:24] Girl A
Okay, we'll do that.
[02:26] Girl B
Thanks.
[02:29] Olivia
Hanako! Hanako! Hanako!
[02:32] Hanako
Olivia...
[02:33] Hanako
It's break time. Let me sleep.
[02:34] Olivia
Wait, wait!
[02:36] Olivia
Talk to me more!
[02:38] Olivia
People have gotten used to the
idea that I'm not fluent in
[02:40] Olivia
Japanese because you're always sleeping!
[02:41] Hanako
Who cares?
[02:42] Hanako
Is there something wrong with that?
[02:43] Olivia
There is!
[02:44] Olivia
This whole thing about me
being deficient in Japanese
[02:46] Olivia
has made my entire school life a total pain!
[02:48] Olivia
Could you please tell
everyone the truth, Hanako?
[02:51] Hanako
How?
[02:53] Olivia
How?
[02:54] Olivia
Like, go into that group of
popular girls and be, like,
[02:57] Olivia
"Hey, did you know? Olivia-chan's
apparently totally fluent in Japanese."
[03:01] Olivia
Casually start spreading rumors.
[03:02] Olivia
They'd probably make it spread really fast.
[03:05] Hanako
Asking me to do that is like asking me
to jump from this second-floor window
[03:10] Hanako
and land cleanly on my butt.
[03:13] Olivia
What does that even mean?
[03:15] Hanako
It means it's impossible.
[03:16] Olivia
I wish she wouldn't use an example
that seems weirdly possible for her.
[03:19] Olivia
Just help me out, please! Do something!
[03:22] Hanako
Jeez, now break time's over.
[03:25] N
And then what happened?
[03:27] [SONG] ---
Functions of the female body
[03:29] Olivia
I shouldn't have come up with such an idea...
[03:33] (Flashback) Olivia
N-Nice to meet you.
[03:36] (Flashback) Olivia
I can't wait to get to know everyone better.
[03:41] (Flashback) Olivia
N-Niced to meeted you.
[03:44] Olivia
I tensed up and said that totally wrong!
[03:48] (Flashback) Sensei
Okay, Olivia-san, please take
that empty seat over there.
[03:51] (Flashback) Olivia
Okay.
[03:52] (Flashback) Sensei
Oh, Honda-san, since she's your neighbor,
[03:54] (Flashback) Sensei
I want you to teach her about the
school after classes are over.
[03:57] (Flashback) Olivia
Th-Thank you.
[04:04] (Flashback) Text/Hanako
I refuse!
SIGN I refuse <3
[04:08] (Flashback) Text/Hanako
Wait, I meant to say I'll give you refuge!
[04:12] (Flashback) Text/Hanako
I swear! Believe me you must!
[04:15] (Flashback) Olivia
Why are you speaking so broken, too?
[04:16] (Flashback) Olivia
I-I may be inadequate, but I shall show
you around the school after classes.
[04:23] (Flashback) Olivia
Your Japanese is very good, Olivia-san.
[04:28] (Flashback) Olivia
Th-Thank you...
[04:32] Olivia
This girl could be fun.
[04:35] Olivia
I found me a new toy!
[04:39] Olivia
I was so stupid for thinking that!
[04:42] Olivia
Now everyone in class thinks that's who I am!
[04:46] Hanako
Olivia's broken English act is funny.
I wouldn't mind her keeping it up.
[04:51] Hanako
But I guess if it's messing up her life,
I should probably clarify things for her.
[04:56] Hanako
I just came up with a good
way to start a rumor!
SIGN Olivia actually speaks really good Japanese, apparently!
[05:06] Hanako
This is it!
[05:06] Hanako
A pass-it-down letter!
[05:08] Hanako
I'll just send it around and
pretend it didn't come from me!
[05:11] Hanako
I'm so smart!
[05:13] Hanako
Hey, I just got this letter.
[05:15] Hanako
Read it and pass it down.
[05:18] Girl A
She could just use LINE if
she wants to spread rumors.
[05:22] Girl A
Huh, I never knew.
[05:24] Girl A
Really, huh?
[05:26] Girl A
Hey, read this and pass it down.
[05:28] Girl B
Hey, I never knew.
[05:29] Girl B
I think I'll try talking
to her normally next time.
[05:32] Girl B
Wait, Olivia-san sits in front of me, so...
[05:34] Girl B
Read this and pass it down.
[05:36] Kasumi
What's this?
[05:39] Kasumi
Wh-Who wrote this?!
[05:42] Kasumi
Olivia-san's worked so hard
to maintain her persona!
[05:46] Kasumi
Who the hell is trying to ruin it for her?!
SIGN Olivia actually speaks really good Japanese, apparently!
[05:49] Kasumi
Like that other time...
[05:51] (Flashback) Girl B
You get perfect grades on
your English exams, right?
[05:54] (Flashback) Olivia
N-Not really.
[05:57] (Flashback) Olivia
Normal English and exam English
aren't always the same.
SIGN Note: This is all she ever says
[06:03] N
This is all she ever says.
[06:05] (Flashback) Girl B
Really? For example?
[06:06] (Flashback) Olivia
L-Like...
[06:09] (Flashback) Olivia
Godzilla.
[06:12] Girl A
That one's Japanese to begin with.
[06:14] Girl B
Although you can make perfect sense of that.
[06:17] (Flashback) Olivia
My eyes hurt!
[06:18] (Flashback) Olivia
I have an owie in my eyesies!
[06:19] (Flashback) Olivia
Sorry, I'm going to go poo!
[06:21] (Flashback) Girl B
O-Okay.
[06:22] Kasumi
"Olivia-san's pretty awesome!
[06:24] Kasumi
She actually sounded like a foreigner."
[06:26] Kasumi
...or so they said.
[06:28] Kasumi
And it's that character she put on that
gave her a good amount of personal space.
[06:32] Kasumi
If people find out she's fluent in Japanese,
[06:34] Kasumi
and she ends up fitting in with everyone...
[06:36] Olivia
Oh, sorry, the basketball club invited
me, so I'm headed over there.
[06:40] Kasumi
And then the Pastimers Club will be...
[06:47] Hanako
I'm jealous of the popular kids.
[06:50] Kasumi
Hell no!
[06:52] Kasumi
I don't want to end my precious middle
school life just staring at her melted face!
[06:57] Kasumi
I like things the way they are!
[06:58] Kasumi
I like things the way they are!
[06:59] Kasumi
I need to put an end to this letter!
SIGN Olivia actually speaks really good Japanese, apparently!
[07:03] Kasumi
Should I not pass it down?
[07:04] Kasumi
No, if it stops at me,
I'll end up taking the heat.
[07:08] Kasumi
All right, I'll rewrite it.
[07:11] Kasumi
It should all work out
if I play stupid later.
[07:14] Kasumi
I have to make her seem like an
unapproachable, highly-sought-after princess.
[07:19] Kasumi
Um...
[07:21] Kasumi
There.
[07:22] Kasumi
Hey, could you read this and pass it down?
[07:29] Girl A
Um, is this...
[07:30] Sensei
You there.
[07:33] Sensei
What is that?
[07:35] Kasumi
Um...
[07:36] Sensei
Let me see.
SIGN Olivia is apparently fluent in Japlish!
SIGN Olivia is apparently fluent in Lincos!
SIGN Japlish
SIGN Lincos
[07:43] Sensei
Amazing.
[07:44] Sensei
O-Olivia-san...
[07:47] Sensei
Is this true?
[07:49] Sensei
It's gotten even worse!
[07:52] Sensei
I-It's not!
[07:53] Sensei
It's a lie!
[07:55] Girl A
Oh, it's not true?
[07:57] Girl A
Too bad.
[07:58] Sensei
Everyone, passing letters
around during class is banned.
[08:02] Girl A
Okay.
SIGN Pastimers Club
[08:04] Hanako
Why did you deny that earlier, Olivia?
[08:07] Kasumi
Seriously.
[08:08] Kasumi
I made you seem like a princess.
[08:11] Olivia
Huh?
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN A Dutchey Wife
[08:18] Girl A
And so, Olivia-san
[08:19] Girl A
will be representing our class in the
school English speech contest next week.
[08:25] Girl A
Applause, please.
[08:29] Olivia
My life is over.
[08:34] Olivia
What do I do?!
[08:36] Kasumi
C-Congratulations.
[08:38] Olivia
I'm screwed!
[08:39] Olivia
Death is my only option!
[08:40] Hanako
You had unanimous support thanks
to the president's endorsement.
[08:44] Olivia
Why didn't either of you stop them?
[08:46] Kasumi
Well, I thought I should, but...
[08:49] Kasumi
But everyone seemed happy, so I
couldn't bring myself to bring it up.
[08:54] Kasumi
I didn't have the courage.
[08:58] Kasumi
I'm sorry, Olivia-san.
[09:00] Olivia
It's okay, I get it.
[09:02] Olivia
Don't be so hard on yourself.
[09:04] Kasumi
Olivia-san...
[09:05] Olivia
Why didn't you say anything, Hanako?
[09:08] Hanako
Er, I did think I should stop them, too,
[09:12] Hanako
but seeing the situation you caused
for yourself get so out of hand...
[09:19] Hanako
I was so busy trying not to laugh,
I couldn't do anything else.
[09:24] Hanako
You're like a peanut-brained animal
that got caught in its own trap.
[09:28] Olivia
I'm not forgiving you!
SIGN Pfft
[09:32] Olivia
What do I do?
[09:34] Olivia
Please, what do I do?
[09:39] Hanako
I think you should start studying now.
[09:44] Kasumi
Th-That's right.
[09:45] Kasumi
You still have time.
[09:47] Hanako
Yeah.
[09:47] Hanako
An honest effort never betrays you.
[09:49] Hanako
Let's start now.
[09:52] Olivia
Guys...
[09:58] Olivia
I don't want to study!
[10:03] Olivia
I don't want to do it!
[10:07] Hanako
What is this kid, stupid?
[10:09] Kasumi
Hey, but it's better than doing nothing.
[10:11] Olivia
It's no use!
[10:12] Olivia
It would only really take
me from a one to a 1.5.
[10:15] Olivia
A one can never become a nine!
[10:18] Hanako
That's such a trashy thing to say,
but I understand the reasoning.
[10:21] Olivia
I want to take a shortcut.
[10:23] Olivia
A week!
[10:24] Olivia
I need a way to become fluent in a week!
[10:26] Kasumi
I-I'd like to know, if there's such a way.
[10:28] Olivia
So I do have no choice but to die!
[10:30] Hanako
Hang on.
[10:32] Hanako
Let's use my ultimate weapon, then.
[10:35] Hanako
Calling Maeda...
[10:37] Maeda
How may I serve you, Hanako-san?
[10:39] Hanako
Stop popping up like that! You're
going to give me a heart attack!
[10:42] Maeda
Well, I do spend my life adhered to you.
[10:46] Hanako
Wait, you aren't that surprised
this time, Kasumi-san.
[10:50] Kasumi
Well...
[10:52] Kasumi
I could see him.
[10:53] Hanako
No wonder you were sitting at a weird angle!
[10:57] Maeda
I heard your discussion.
[10:59] Maeda
Oh, yeah, so could you help?
[11:01] Maeda
Also, creepy.
[11:02] Hanako
Understood. And not creepy.
[11:03] N
And then what happened?
[11:09] Kasumi
What's this?
[11:10] Maeda
A cutting-edge android, built by
upgrading the robot Kouichi-kun,
[11:12] Maeda
which Hanako-sama destroyed before.
[11:14] Maeda
Olivia-Newton-Einstein.
[11:16] Hanako
Huh?
[11:18] Hanako
What's up, Olivia?
[11:20] Hanako
Aren't you impressed?
[11:21] Olivia
Um, so...
[11:23] Olivia
Its face is a lot like
the one Dad used to have.
[11:27] Kasumi
Your father?
[11:30] Olivia
He got in a huge fight with Mom about it.
[11:34] Olivia
What was it?
[11:35] Olivia
A derby doll?
[11:37] Maeda
I don't think it looks alike.
[11:39] Hanako
You know of it, Maeda?
[11:40] Maeda
Yes.
[11:41] Maeda
Your grandfather had several.
[11:43] Hanako
It looks like those ones?
[11:44] Maeda
Not at all.
[11:45] Maeda
I absolutely didn't scan the faces of one
of your grandfather's secret sx dolls.
[11:51] Olivia
Wait!
[11:52] Olivia
Why didn't you put more effort
into making it, Maeda-chan?!
[11:55] Maeda
It's your grandfather's favorite one.
[11:57] Hanako
Hey, it looks enough like you, though.
[11:59] Olivia
Hanako!
[12:00] Kasumi
So how functional is it?
[12:02] Maeda
Hanako-sama, say something to it in English.
[12:06] Hanako
H-Hello.
[12:09] Hanako
Whoa!
[12:11] Hanako
It's actually Olivia's voice!
[12:12] Maeda
Yes.
[12:13] Maeda
Your grandfather is fluent in English,
[12:15] Maeda
so I asked him to speak, and I
modulated it with Olivia's voice.
[12:19] Hanako
How are you?
[12:33] Hanako
That's amazing! It's so fluent!
[12:35] Hanako
It pronounces "six" perfectly!
[12:38] Kasumi
Wow, Hanako-san, you can
actually understand it!
[12:40] Kasumi
Can you talk to it about anything?
[12:42] Maeda
I've programmed it with all the words
Grandfather knows, so yes, to an extent.
[12:46] Sensei
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
[12:48] Sensei
Huh?
[12:49] Sensei
What's this?
[12:50] Hanako
Sensei, look, isn't it awesome?
[12:52] Hanako
Grandpa and Maeda built an Olivia
that speaks perfect English.
[12:56] Sensei
Huh.
[12:57] Sensei
But aren't you competing, Olivia-san?
[12:59] Olivia
No way.
[13:00] Olivia
I don't want to study.
[13:01] Olivia
This is good enough.
[13:02] Olivia
It'll make everyone happy.
[13:04] Sensei
B-But you might get better
if you work hard enough.
[13:11] Sensei
The hell! This person's so vulgar!
[13:13] Sensei
D-Does it know any proper words?
[13:16] Hanako
I've only programmed it with the
slang that Grandfather knows.
[13:20] Hanako
Did you just say slang?!
[13:22] Sensei
Then we should be able to program it
with this speech really quick, right?
[13:25] Hanako
Right.
[13:26] Hanako
We can start programming it
with decent words, right?
[13:33] Sensei
That's right.
[13:40] Hanako
The android's become self-aware!
It's asserting itself!
[13:43] Hanako
What do we do?
[13:44] Kasumi
What do we do now?
[13:45] Olivia
I'll die.
[13:46] Hanako
Olivia looks like the android!
[13:49] Sensei
Okay.
[13:50] Sensei
You don't have to.
[13:52] Sensei
Calm down.
[13:58] Hanako
So what do we do now, Sensei?
[14:00] Sensei
We only have one option.
[14:02] N
And so they had the best*
English-speaker in class take over.
[14:08] Girl A
Huh? Olivia-san hurt her throat?
And I have to take over?
[14:12] Girl A
Sure.
[14:13] Hanako
We should have done this to begin with.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Genetic Engineering
SIGN Faculty Room
[14:21] Olivia
I'm sorry, Sensei!
[14:25] Olivia
I won't do it anymore!
Please let me have it back.
[14:28] Sensei
This is the fifth time you said
you wouldn't do it anymore.
[14:32] Sensei
School policy forbids you from
bringing manga into school.
[14:35] Sensei
I'm confiscating this.
[14:36] Sensei
I've also contacted your parents.
[14:39] Olivia
You already did?
[14:41] Sensei
Yes, I called your home.
[14:43] Olivia
But Mom and Dad are both at work.
[14:45] Sensei
Your older brother responded
as your guardian.
[14:49] Sensei
He said he'd be here later to apologize.
SIGN Pastimers Club
[14:54] Hanako
Your brother's coming to school?
[14:57] Olivia
Yeah.
[14:57] Kasumi
I never knew you had an older brother.
[15:01] Olivia
I can't help buying manga magazines along
with lunch at the convenience store.
[15:06] Hanako
You could leave it in the club
room and read it during lunch.
[15:10] Olivia
I can't help it. I keep
wondering what happens next.
[15:12] Hanako
Olivia's brother, huh?
[15:16] Hanako
I wonder what he's like.
[15:17] Hanako
He's hot! He must be hot!
[15:20] Hanako
I have such high expectations.
[15:22] Hanako
Crap, I can't calm down!
[15:26] Hanako
He probably looks like DiCaprio.
[15:28] Hanako
Hey, does your brother have
a girlfriend or anything?
[15:34] Olivia
I don't think he does.
[15:35] Hanako
Score!
[15:36] Kasumi
Is he in high school?
[15:38] Olivia
Nah, he's quite a bit older than me.
[15:41] Olivia
He graduated early from
Mom's and Dad's college.
[15:45] Olivia
He has two PhDs.
[15:47] Kasumi
That's amazing.
[15:49] Olivia
I never understand half of what he's saying.
[15:53] Olivia
But he's so fun. I love him.
[15:59] Hanako
I like that you two are so close.
[16:00] Olivia
Really?
[16:01] Kasumi
Yes.
[16:02] Kasumi
I've never felt like that
way about my sister.
[16:05] Hanako
My brother's never said anything
like that about me, either.
[16:08] Hanako
Olivia's brother...
[16:10] Hanako
This could be good!
[16:11] Hanako
He probably has a good personality,
if she's so attached to him.
[16:15] Hanako
I wouldn't mind having
Olivia call me "Onee-chan!"
[16:18] Hanako
I'd like two children or so.
[16:22] N
Hanako, 14-years-old, currently
hammering out her wicked life plans.
[16:29] Olivia
Hello?
[16:30] Olivia
You're here already, Onii-chan?
[16:31] Olivia
You're at the gate?
[16:34] Olivia
The guard won't let you in?
[16:36] Olivia
Okay, I'll come get you right now.
[16:38] Olivia
Okay, so I'll be back.
[16:40] Hanako
We'll come with you.
[16:42] Hanako
Right, Kasumi-san?
[16:44] Hanako
Olivia's brother is probably as good as 2D,
so just think of him as an anime character.
[16:49] Kasumi
I see.
[16:50] Kasumi
So, like, guard x Onii-san.
[16:52] Hanako
That's it.
[16:52] Hanako
Caressing, entangled,
squeezing, getting squeezed...
[16:56] Olivia
There he is.
[16:57] Olivia
He's with the guard over there.
[17:00] Olivia
Onii-chan!
[17:04] Oniisan
Olivia!
[17:05] Oniisan
Strike down this barbarian!
[17:10] Olivia
Onii-chan!
[17:12] Guard
This guy's really your brother?!
[17:14] Oniisan
That's what I kept telling you.
[17:16] Oniisan
You pedestrian fool.
[17:19] Guard
My apologies.
[17:20] Oniisan
Oy vey.
[17:22] Oniisan
This is why I despise the lower world.
[17:24] Olivia
What's the "lower world"?
[17:26] [SONG] Hanako
What is this?
[17:26] Hanako
What is this?
[17:29] Kasumi
H-Hanako-san, uh...
[17:32] Kasumi
This might be a rude thought, but...
[17:36] Kasumi
Are those two even related?
[17:38] Hanako
That's it!
[17:38] Hanako
Olivia!
[17:40] Kasumi
Wait up, Hanako-san!
[17:41] Kasumi
You can't just ask her directly.
[17:44] Kasumi
It might be a delicate situation.
[17:46] Hanako
But...
[17:47] Hanako
All right, fine.
[17:48] Hanako
I'll ask her subtly.
[17:50] Hanako
Hey, hey, Olivia, did you adopt
him from Akihabara or something?
[17:55] Kasumi
Hanako-san!
[17:57] Olivia
Wait, did you think we aren't related?
[18:00] Olivia
People say that a lot these days.
[18:04] Oniisan
What a silly question.
[18:05] Oniisan
We are indeed bro and sis.
[18:07] Hanako
But the color of your hair...
[18:09] Oniisan
Flaunt not your ignorance, child
with no knowledge of Mendel's law.
[18:13] Oniisan
You would not be at all surprised
if you were to consider our
[18:16] Oniisan
father and mother's genes.
[18:18] Oniisan
Behold, my pure blue eyes,
same as my sister Olivia.
[18:30] Hanako
He's right.
[18:31] Oniisan
So, where be the faculty room?
[18:33] Olivia
It's upstairs.
[18:34] Olivia
I'll take you there. Follow me.
[18:39] Olivia
What's wrong, Onii-chan?
[18:41] Olivia
Are you tired?
[18:42] Oniisan
No, I'm fine.
[18:46] Olivia
The scent of middle school
girls is so powerful,
[18:49] Olivia
it gives me a tingle where
I took an arrow to my knee.
[18:55] Oniisan
Praise be to raw middle schoolers.
[18:58] Hanako
Oh God, he's so gross!
[19:01] N
And then what happened?
SIGN Faculty Room
[19:02] Oniisan
It is an honor to be in your presence.
[19:05] Oniisan
I am but Olivia's humble older
brother, at your service.
[19:07] Hanako
Why does he talk like that?!
[19:09] Sensei
Right...
[19:10] Sensei
So you're Olivia's brother,
from the phone call earlier.
[19:14] Sensei
Huh?
[19:14] Sensei
He seemed a lot more normal on the phone.
[19:17] Oniisan
Is the magazine confiscated from
Olivia still well in your keep?
[19:23] Sensei
Oh, this one?
[19:25] [SONG] Text
Weekly
Young Chokotto Comic
[19:25] Sensei
Olivia-san brings it with her, no matter
how many times she's told not to.
[19:29] Oniisan
I sincerely apologize.
[19:31] Oniisan
I intend to give her a more
powerful scolding going forward.
[19:35] Oniisan
So may I ask that this
magazine is returned to us?
[19:39] Sensei
No, I can't do that.
[19:41] Oniisan
For mercy's sake...
[19:42] Sensei
But, uh...
[19:44] Oniisan
For mercy's sake!
[19:45] Oniisan
I absolutely must read the rest of Mahou
Shoujo Pretty Kiss on Chokotto Comic!
[19:51] Oniisan
I must find out if Pretty
Kiss' friend, Frenchy Kiss,
[19:54] Oniisan
who was captured by the evil
Erotica Army, is safe or not!
[20:02] Hanako
It was as though the silence had
frozen in place for all eternity.
[20:07] Hanako
"Why not buy another copy?"
[20:10] Hanako
"Couldn't you buy a copy online
if you're too embarrassed to?"
[20:12] Hanako
Those were the words that had been
awaiting release at my throat,
[20:15] Hanako
but having seen him here,
[20:17] Hanako
at his younger sister's school,
kissing the floor as he pleads,
[20:20] Hanako
it was no longer clear to me
that it would be appropriate.
[20:23] Hanako
These must have been the thoughts
flowing through our minds that day.
[20:30] N
Excerpt from "Hanako's Magnificent
Life," Hakusensha Publishing.
[20:35] Sensei
All right, fine.
[20:36] Sensei
I'll give it back.
[20:38] Hanako
Sensei probably didn't want to
have anything to do with this.
SIGN Play
[20:41] N
And then what happened?
[20:42] Hanako
Good for you, Olivia-san.
[20:42] [SONG] Text
Faculty Room
[20:45] Olivia
Yeah.
[20:46] Olivia
Sorry, though, Onii-chan.
[20:48] Oniisan
Such humiliation is in fact a
treat, for Pretty Kiss' sake.
[20:53] Oniisan
Besides, I got to make acquaintances
with raw middle schoolers.
[20:56] Oniisan
It's not terrible, descending to
the lower world once in a while.
[21:01] Oniisan
Miss Hanako, Miss Kasumi, may I ask
that we exchange LINE contacts?
[21:05] Hanako
It's too awkward to say no!
[21:07] Hanako
All right, fine.
[21:10] Kasumi
I have an old school phone,
so I don't have LINE.
[21:13] Hanako
No fair, Kasumi-san!
SIGN That evening
[21:16] Oniisan
Hanako-san, good evening,
this is Olivia's brother.
[21:21] Oniisan
Thank you for your help this day.
[21:24] Hanako
Olivia's onii-chan's messaging me already.
[21:27] Hanako
"Hello, no problem."
[21:29] Oniisan
It is as though I am dreaming, having
met such a beautiful woman as you.
[21:35] Oniisan
My sister is still immature.
[21:37] Oniisan
She may well cause the two of
you much trouble going forward.
[21:41] Oniisan
If there is ever anything you need,
please feel free to come talk to me.
[21:46] Oniisan
Even if the whole world becomes
your enemy, I shall be your ally.
SIGN The next day
[21:57] Hanako
Hey, your brother's pretty
badass when he's in the phone.
[22:02] Kasumi
*"In the phone"?
[22:04] Oniisan
Want to see more pictures
I got of him in my phone?
[22:07] Hanako
Don't show me his whole body!
10 - Heart Go Boing Boing | Hanako's Trial of Shame | Secret of the Dong | Film Production
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Heart Go Boing Boing
[01:34] ---
"In whose reign was it that a woman of rather
undistinguished lineage captured the heart
[01:39] ---
of the Emperor and enjoyed his favor above
all the other imperial wives and concubines?"
[01:44] Sensei
Let's translate this to modern Japanese.
[01:47] Sensei
Let's see, how about...
[01:49] Sensei
Fujiwara-san.
[01:52] Fujiwara
Why?
[01:53] Fujiwara
For what reason?
[01:54] Fujiwara
Why, Japanese?
[01:56] Fujiwara
Why do you pick on me for classic literature?
[01:59] Fujiwara
Um...
[02:01] Fujiwara
Er...
[02:02] Sensei
Was this too easy for you, Fujiwara-san?
[02:05] Sensei
Okay, someone else?
[02:07] Fujiwara
Why?
[02:08] Fujiwara
I attended the speech contest in Miss
Olivia's place and got first place,
SIGN Blah Blah Blah Blah Easy Peasy
[02:13] Fujiwara
and yet I'm being picked on in
the classic literature class
[02:17] Fujiwara
more often than any of my classmates.
[02:19] Fujiwara
I can't understand classic literature.
[02:22] Girl A
Fujiwara-san.
[02:23] Girl B
Could you help us...
[02:25] Girl B
...with classic literature?
[02:26] Fujiwara
Dude, no more classic literature.
[02:29] Fujiwara
Oh, my...
[02:31] Fujiwara
My classmates' eyes are ass holes.
[02:34] Fujiwara
The only person with whom equal
communication is possible...
[02:38] Fujiwara
Is Miss Olivia.
[02:40] Fujiwara
Miss Olivia.
[02:42] Olivia
Wh-What is it?
[02:44] Fujiwara
That speech contest...
[02:47] Olivia
Thanks for doing it in my place.
[02:51] Fujiwara
Miss Olivia...
[02:52] Fujiwara
If you want to talk to me in
English, that's no problem.
[03:00] Olivia
Er... Washroom.
[03:01] Olivia
Hanako, come with me.
[03:04] Olivia
That girl's bad news!
[03:06] Hanako
What?
[03:08] Hanako
What's wrong?
[03:08] Olivia
Fujiwara-san!
[03:09] Olivia
She might be on to the fact
that I can't speak English!
[03:13] Hanako
Why is that your first assumption?
[03:15] Hanako
She wanted to talk to you
in English, didn't she?
[03:17] Hanako
She probably thought you were
fluent enough to talk to.
[03:20] Olivia
No, she was definitely testing me.
[03:22] Olivia
Oh, no...
[03:23] Olivia
I'm going to get ostracized
if people find out.
[03:26] Hanako
You wanted people to find out.
[03:28] Hanako
This is a good opportunity.
[03:29] Hanako
Don't worry, you have me and Kasumi-san.
[03:31] Hanako
You're not going to get cast aside.
[03:33] Olivia
Are you sure?
[03:34] Hanako
I mean, you never had that many friends
besides me and Kasumi-san to begin with.
[03:38] Olivia
Hey.
[03:39] Fujiwara
Oh my gosh, what's happening?
[03:42] Fujiwara
Miss Olivia speaking English is impossible?
[03:45] Fujiwara
Incredible.
[03:47] Fujiwara
No, when I think about it,
I remember plenty of points.
[03:52] Fujiwara
Miss Nomura...
[03:54] Fujiwara
She's in the same club as Miss Olivia.
[03:58] Fujiwara
Time to do some research.
[04:00] Fujiwara
Um, excuse me...
[04:03] Fujiwara
Could it be that Miss Olivia
has trouble speaking English?
[04:13] Fujiwara
So this is the Japanese kabedon.
[04:17] Kasumi
U-Um...
[04:19] Kasumi
Please...
[04:20] Kasumi
Don't tell anyone about it.
[04:22] Fujiwara
Oh, my.
[04:24] Fujiwara
For what reason?
[04:25] Kasumi
For reasons!
[04:27] Fujiwara
Huh?
[04:28] Fujiwara
What's happening?
[04:29] Fujiwara
This thrill in my heart...
[04:31] Fujiwara
Shock... suspense...
[04:34] Fujiwara
I might be opening a new door.
[04:38] Kasumi
Could you please promise me?
[04:40] Fujiwara
I can.
[04:41] Fujiwara
But in exchange, let's go on a date.
[04:46] Kasumi
B-But...
[04:47] Fujiwara
Don't worry about it, if you don't want to.
[04:50] Fujiwara
Never mind.
[04:51] Fujiwara
I'll just tell everyone
about Miss Olivia's English.
[04:55] Kasumi
Um, er, well...
[04:58] Kasumi
Uh...
[05:00] Kasumi
A-All righ—
[05:04] Aozora
Nuh-uh.
[05:05] Aozora
I already have her booked.
[05:08] Aozora
Sorry, Fujiwara-san.
[05:08] Kasumi
Aozora-san...
[05:09] Aozora
Let's go.
[05:13] ---
Must I spend my life
[05:15] ---
stricken with grief, with never
a chance of relief for my heart?
[05:22] N
The shock awakens her talent
in classic literature.
[05:25] Kasumi
Um, I'm okay now.
[05:28] Kasumi
Thanks for helping me.
[05:32] Aozora
I just happened to pass by, so...
[05:34] Aozora
You're bad at negotiating.
[05:36] Aozora
I almost started laughing.
[05:39] Aozora
But that makes you interesting.
[05:41] Aozora
I like that about you.
[05:44] Kasumi
R-Right...
[05:50] Aozora
Bye-bye.
[05:54] Fujiwara
I think I'll keep the thing
about English a secret so that
[05:58] Fujiwara
I have an item to negotiate with for when
I ask Miss Nomura out on a date again.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Hanako's Trial of Shame
[06:07] Olivia
So he lent me his novel,
but it's so complicated,
[06:10] Olivia
I couldn't get through three lines.
[06:13] Olivia
There're too many characters.
[06:15] Kasumi
What was that thing that
happened yesterday?
[06:18] Kasumi
No, but Aozora-san seems like a player.
[06:22] Kasumi
Maybe she didn't really mean anything by it.
[06:25] Kasumi
Hanako-san seems like she's got
something on her mind, too.
[06:28] Kasumi
I wonder what's wrong.
[06:30] Hanako
This is random, but I want
to make the girls say "poo."
[06:36] Hanako
How should I make them do it?
[06:37] Hanako
I want them to blurt it out when
it's totally inappropriate.
[06:42] Hanako
How do I make such a
situation happen naturally?
[06:46] Hanako
This has been weighing on me.
[06:47] Kasumi
I-I guess everyone's got their woes.
[06:53] N
This one's not really
thinking about anything.
[06:56] Olivia
Wh-What's up?
[06:57] Hanako
Let's play a game!
SIGN Strawberry Milk
[06:59] Hanako
Write some words down.
[07:01] Hanako
Lots, guys. Lots.
[07:02] Hanako
And fold them up and put them in this box.
[07:06] Hanako
Shuffle it up, and now...
[07:07] Hanako
Take one each without seeing what
it says, and paste it on your head.
[07:13] Olivia
Like this?
[07:14] Hanako
That's it.
[07:15] Hanako
And the rest of us who can read
it try to get you to say it.
[07:19] Hanako
If you do, you lose.
[07:20] Olivia
So it's kind of like Taboo.
[07:23] Hanako
I wonder what mine says.
[07:26] Hanako
I had them each write ten words, and I'm
pretending I chose them at random...
[07:32] Hanako
But I wrote "poo" on all ten of mine!
SIGN Poo Poo Poo Poo Poo Poo Poo
[07:36] Hanako
Too bad, though, they haven't
gotten "poo" this time.
[07:41] Hanako
Maybe they'll get it on the second round.
[07:44] Hanako
It'll be hilarious if they both
have "poo" on their heads.
[07:48] Hanako
I'm totally going to make them say it!
[07:50] Hanako
Poo!
SIGN Poo
SIGN Kiss Smart
[07:54] Kasumi
Wh-Who wrote that one?
[07:56] Hanako
Let's see...
[07:57] Hanako
Let's get Olivia first.
[07:59] Hanako
I got the second highest
grade in our year last term.
[08:03] Olivia
Oh yeah, you did.
[08:04] Kasumi
You're surprisingly studious, Hanako-san.
[08:08] Hanako
I was hooked on looking
at cat anuses at the time, though,
[08:11] Hanako
so I couldn't study too much.
[08:14] Hanako
Even then, I got second place effortlessly.
[08:18] Hanako
What's the deal with my head?
[08:25] Olivia
You were totally studying your ass off.
[08:27] Olivia
I think you have, like, five screws
loose in your head, though.
[08:31] Hanako
Huh?
[08:32] Hanako
Do people think I'm not smart?
[08:38] Kasumi
Wait, what's wrong?
[08:40] Kasumi
Did we say something bad?
[08:41] Olivia
Okay, Kasumi's my target.
[08:43] Olivia
Hey, you do that thing, don't you?
[08:45] Olivia
You know...
[08:46] Hanako
Do what?
[08:47] Olivia
Like, you know, that thing.
[08:49] Olivia
I do it, too.
[08:50] Olivia
When I say hi to Mom and Dad.
[08:52] Olivia
Like...
[08:54] Olivia
Smooch.
[08:55] Olivia
Olivia, you idiot!
[08:57] Olivia
You made Kasumi-san's taboo word so obvious!
[09:02] Kasumi
No, er, I...
[09:05] Olivia
I know you do it.
[09:08] Olivia
Your family—
[09:08] Kasumi
Did you...
[09:09] Kasumi
Did you see what happened in the hallway?
[09:15] Hanako
Kasumi-san...
[09:17] Hanako
Tell me...
[09:19] Olivia
Oh, shit!
[09:22] Olivia
Question for Hanako!
[09:24] Olivia
What's brown and...
[09:26] Hanako
Poo.
[09:27] Olivia
Hanako loses.
[09:28] Olivia
How did she know from just that hint?!
[09:29] Hanako
Olivia, come with me.
SIGN Slam
[09:33] Hanako
Ta-da.
[09:35] Hanako
It's time for Hanako's
emergency Trial of Shame.
[09:39] Hanako
The charge: Suspicion of
chissing in the hallway.
[09:43] Hanako
And our betrayal.
[09:46] Hanako
And causing me humiliation.
[09:49] Hanako
And probably something else.
[09:53] Kasumi
There's just more and more!
[09:54] Hanako
I-I plead innocent.
[09:58] Hanako
Would you still say that
after hearing this song?
[10:01] Hanako
You climb the stairs to adulthood,
but you're still a Cinderella.
[10:08] Kasumi
Wh-What song is that?
[10:11] Hanako
You don't know?
[10:12] Hanako
I don't know the rest of the lyrics, either.
[10:14] Kasumi
Stop it, please.
[10:16] Kasumi
I want to believe that a girl's
friendship is stronger than that.
[10:20] Hanako
Nay!
[10:22] Hanako
A girl's friendship is as flimsy as a sheet
of calligraphy paper drenched in black ink.
[10:28] Hanako
Right, Olivia-chan?
[10:29] Hanako
You love shoujo manga, don't you?
[10:31] Hanako
All those manga you read depict
such tenuous friendships
[10:33] Hanako
as though they're endearing, don't they?
[10:36] Hanako
You love ChokoComi, don't you?
[10:39] Hanako
No... There's no one in ChokoComi
who would dress up like this
[10:43] Hanako
to interrogate her friend just
because she went and kissed someone.
[10:45] (Flashback) Girl 1
You kissed them?!
[10:47] (Flashback) Girl 1
No way, congrats!
[10:48] (Flashback) Girl 2
Thanks.
[10:49] Olivia
Like that.
[10:51] Hanako
They just don't show it in the manga!
[10:52] Hanako
This is what they all do behind the scenes!
[10:55] Olivia
Behind the scenes? What?
[10:57] Olivia
You know, though, it really wasn't the
kind of thing you'd be pissed about.
[11:00] Hanako
Why not?
[11:01] Olivia
Because...
[11:02] Olivia
We're in a girls' school.
[11:08] Hanako
All right!
[11:09] Hanako
I'm sorry!
[11:10] Hanako
You're innocent, Kasumi-san.
[11:12] Kasumi
I'm free?
[11:14] Hanako
Sure you are.
[11:15] Hanako
Sorry.
[11:16] Hanako
I made a mistake.
[11:18] Hanako
We're friends, Kasumi-san.
[11:19] Hanako
I love you!
[11:21] Hanako
A girl's friendship is indestructible!
[11:23] Hanako
BFFs!
[11:24] Olivia
It's even more shallow now!
[11:27] Hanako
You could have told me you
were kissing another girl.
[11:30] Hanako
It's just an extension of saying hi.
[11:34] Hanako
Not a problem at all!
[11:38] Kasumi
Y-You're right.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
[11:46] Aozora
Nomura-san, there's something
I want you to see.
[11:50] Kasumi
Wh-What's that?
[11:52] Aozora
The truth is, I...
[12:06] Kasumi
Why did I have such a dream?
SIGN Secret of the Dong
SIGN Home Economics
[12:13] Sensei
Do you have all your materials, everyone?
[12:16] Sensei
Okay, you can begin making your hotcakes.
SIGN Cooking Practice
[12:19] Olivia
What's up?
[12:20] Hanako
I wasn't listening to Sensei,
so I don't know how to do it.
[12:23] Olivia
Same.
[12:24] Kasumi
Hey, I was listening.
[12:27] Hanako
Okay, we'll do it as you tell us.
[12:29] Kasumi
First, break the eggs.
[12:31] Kasumi
Pour in 100 ml of milk.
SIGN Taisho Yummy Milk
SIGN Hotcake Mix
[12:34] Kasumi
Add in the hotcake mix.
[12:36] Kasumi
And beat it well with the schlng.
[12:38] Hanako
Use the schlng...
[12:40] Kasumi
...to beat it well.
[12:41] Kasumi
Sch—
[12:43] Hanako
What the hell, Kasumi-san?!
[12:45] Olivia
Why would you stir with such a thing?!
[12:46] Kasumi
No, I'm sorry, I meant, use the whisk!
[12:49] Kasumi
Use the wiener!
[12:50] Hanako
You're still messed up!
[12:51] N
And then what happened?
[12:53] Olivia
Oh yeah, my dad went to
Okinawa for a business trip.
[12:56] Olivia
He brought home this really tasty gift.
[12:58] Hanako
What was it?
[13:00] Olivia
It was this Okinawan snack.
[13:03] Olivia
Chin...
[13:04] Olivia
Chin...
[13:05] Kasumi
Oh, I know what you're talking about.
[13:06] Kasumi
Dick juice (chinkosu).
[13:07] Kasumi
Wait, no, dick cheese (chinkasu).
[13:09] Kasumi
That's not it.
[13:09] Kasumi
Penis (chinpoko)...
[13:09] Kasumi
Right, it's chinsukou.
[13:11] Hanako
Kasumi-san, are you sure you're okay?
[13:13] Hanako
You should go to the nurse's office.
[13:15] Kasumi
No, I-I'm fine.
[13:22] Kasumi
What in the world has gotten into me?
[13:26] Kasumi
It's because I had that weird dream.
[13:29] Kasumi
I can't get that image out of my head.
[13:31] Kasumi
I don't want to turn into a pervert.
[13:35] Kasumi
I have to get that image
out of my head somehow.
[13:39] Kasumi
So... I have to find out.
[13:46] Kasumi
Hanako-san, Olivia-san...
[13:49] Kasumi
I need to talk.
[13:50] Hanako
What's wrong? You're kind of weird today.
[13:53] Olivia
Is there something bothering you?
[13:54] Kasumi
Yes.
[13:56] Kasumi
The truth is...
[13:58] Kasumi
I want to look inside Aozora-san's skirt.
[14:03] Hanako
Kasumi-san's turned into a pervert.
[14:07] Hanako
Want to go to the hospital?
[14:09] Hanako
Although even if you told them you're
all better, they might not let you out.
[14:12] Kasumi
No!
[14:12] Olivia
I never knew you were like that.
[14:13] Kasumi
Wait, wait!
[14:14] Kasumi
Remember what you said, Olivia-san?
[14:17] Olivia
What?
[14:17] Kasumi
That Aozora-san might be a guy.
[14:19] Olivia
Oh, I might have said that.
[14:22] Olivia
That was my mistake, though.
[14:23] Kasumi
Hold on!
[14:24] Kasumi
What if you weren't mistaken?
[14:26] Hanako
Why are you suddenly so suspicious?
[14:28] Kasumi
Well, uh...
[14:29] Kasumi
I can't tell them it's
because I had a weird dream.
[14:33] Hanako
I mean, if that'll make you feel better...
SIGN Pastimers Club
[14:37] Hanako
Okay, I'll tell you the most common
technique for looking up someone's skirt.
[14:43] Hanako
That technique is...
[14:44] Hanako
To pretend you tripped, and
dive into a girl's undies!
[14:51] Olivia
If you're talking about the illustration
above your head, I'm kind of really confused.
[14:55] Kasumi
Like, I don't know how you get there.
[14:58] Hanako
Okay, well maybe you can't
see inside her undies,
[15:00] Hanako
but you could do this much, couldn't you?
[15:02] Kasumi
I-I guess I could do that.
SIGN 10 minutes later
[15:04] Hanako
You should bring some print-outs with
you so it doesn't look so deliberate.
[15:07] Kasumi
Here she comes.
[15:12] Aozora
Nomura-san...
[15:14] Aozora
Are you okay?
[15:17] Kasumi
Y-Yes.
[15:20] Kasumi
I'm sorry. I failed.
[15:22] Hanako
Lucky, Kasumi-san, that was really good!
[15:25] Hanako
I wish she'd hold me up like that, too.
[15:26] Olivia
Did she smell nice?
[15:27] Kasumi
Olivia's sounding like a geezer.
[15:30] Kasumi
It's kind of hard tripping on purpose.
[15:33] Hanako
And it would hurt, too.
[15:35] Olivia
I have a good idea.
[15:37] Olivia
Patient in critical
condition, coming through!
SIGN A few moments earlier
[15:43] Olivia
So we're going to speed up really
fast in front of Aozora-san,
[15:47] Olivia
and then let go by "accident."
[15:49] Olivia
This would be the only way
Aozora-san can dodge you.
[15:53] Olivia
How's that?
[15:54] Olivia
You could totally see her panties that way.
[15:56] Olivia
You're going to pass by her
with her legs spread wide.
[16:00] Kasumi
Uh, well...
[16:02] Hanako
It'll work.
[16:03] Kasumi
Hanako-san gets good grades,
but she's probably a dumbass.
[16:06] Kasumi
So here I am now, but the only
reason I'm being carried like this
[16:10] Kasumi
is so that I can see if
Aozora-san has a cck.
[16:14] Kasumi
Father, Mother, I'm sorry for being born.
[16:19] Hanako
There she is.
[16:21] Olivia
Aozora-san!
[16:23] Olivia
Sorry, move, move!
[16:26] Olivia
Just kidding, we're actually speeding up.
[16:31] N
It would be most sensible*
to continue going straight.
[16:35] N
But the girls' objective was
to charge at Aozora-san,
[16:38] N
and so they unthinkingly made a sharp turn.
[16:44] Hanako
We're losing balance!
[16:46] Olivia
We're tipping over!
[16:54] Kasumi
Huh?
[16:56] Kasumi
The ceiling?
[16:57] Kasumi
What happened?
[17:00] Kasumi
Where are they?
[17:03] Kasumi
Amazing.
SIGN Absolutely not in a good way.
[17:06] Aozora
Nomura-san, are you okay?
[17:08] Kasumi
Huh?
[17:08] Kasumi
Y-Yes.
[17:10] Aozora
You were going to the nurse's office
because you felt sick, weren't you?
[17:13] Aozora
Hold on, I'll take you there.
[17:15] Kasumi
U-Um, I think they're sicker than I am.
[17:19] Aozora
Look at their acrobatics.
[17:22] Aozora
I'm sure they're fine.
[17:22] Kasumi
But...
[17:25] Olivia
Someone, help...
SIGN Asobi Asobase
[17:32] Hanako
We're in space.
[17:34] Hanako
Finally.
[17:36] Hanako
We're finally here.
SIGN Film Production
[17:45] Kasumi
Cut!
[17:46] Kasumi
That's good.
[17:48] Hanako
Kasumi-san, is this really safe?
[17:51] Kasumi
What do you mean?
[17:53] Hanako
We aren't going to have
technical difficulties
[17:55] Hanako
airing this at the cultural festival, are we?
[17:57] Kasumi
O-Of course not.
[17:59] Olivia
Why are we even doing a movie for the
Pastimers Club's cultural festival exhibit?
[18:03] Olivia
And why did it have to be sci-fi?
[18:05] Olivia
We could have done romance
or mystery or whatever else.
[18:07] Kasumi
I-I saw Star Trek.
[18:10] Hanako
That's the only reason we're doing sci-fi?!
[18:12] Hanako
Are you sure you know enough about it?!
[18:14] Kasumi
It's fine.
[18:16] Kasumi
I learned that all you
need to do to look like
[18:18] Kasumi
an alien is to stand
expressionless with a bowl cut.
[18:20] Hanako
That's what you got out of Star Trek?!
[18:22] Kasumi
Olivia-san's a sexy alien spy.
[18:25] Olivia
O-Okay.
[18:26] Hanako
Olivia, hang on, are you wearing pads?
[18:29] Olivia
They aren't big ones.
[18:30] Hanako
No fair!
[18:31] Kasumi
By the way, I'd like the spy's
actress to decide her fate.
[18:36] Kasumi
How would you like to perish?
[18:38] Olivia
She says it like I have an option,
but I'm dying either way, aren't I?
[18:41] Kasumi
Okay, here we go.
[18:43] Kasumi
Start!
[18:48] Olivia
I-I am sexy spy.
[18:53] Kasumi
Okay, that was excellent!
[18:56] Hanako
The spy just introduced herself as a spy.
[18:59] Kasumi
Okay, next, a serious stare-down scene.
[19:02] Kasumi
Start.
[19:03] Hanako
What?
[19:04] Hanako
Sexy spy, you say?
[19:12] Hanako
Just once...
[19:14] Kasumi
Hanako-san!
[19:15] Kasumi
No blinking!
[19:16] Hanako
Kasumi-san...
[19:18] Hanako
I can't!
[19:19] Hanako
I can't stare for a whole minute!
[19:20] Kasumi
This scene is a whole minute of staring.
[19:22] Kasumi
I'm counting on you.
[19:23] Kasumi
Start.
[19:25] Hanako
Sexy spy, you say?
[19:31] Hanako
Scary, scary, scary!
[19:33] Kasumi
All right, cut!
SIGN Haah, haah, haah...
[19:37] Hanako
Oh yeah, don't you think it's kind of boring
not having a spaceship in a sci-fi movie?
[19:41] Kasumi
Th-That's true.
[19:44] Kasumi
How about a cardboard box
that says "spaceship" on it?
SIGN Spaceship
[19:47] Hanako
Dude, that's just a cardboard
box that says "spaceship" on it.
[19:50] Kasumi
It'll look convincing if you hold a
lever thing and shout "skadoosh."
[19:56] Hanako
You're making a complete mockery of sci-fi!
[20:00] Sensei
Sorry I'm late, guys.
[20:02] Sensei
How's the movie coming?
[20:04] Olivia
Sci-fi's harder than we thought, Sensei.
[20:08] Sensei
Sci-fi?
[20:09] Sensei
You're the Pastimers Club, so why
don't you have some pastime props?
[20:14] Kasumi
Sensei...
[20:16] Kasumi
Are you mocking sci-fi?
[20:18] Sensei
I'm sorry.
[20:19] Hanako
You're standing in front of
the biggest mocker, Sensei.
[20:22] Hanako
It's fine.
[20:23] Sensei
But I think you should take the
opportunity to advertise the club.
[20:26] Olivia
That's true.
[20:27] Olivia
We should show them that we're
doing proper club stuff,
[20:30] Olivia
or they're going to start telling
us to vacate the room again.
[20:34] Kasumi
How about this, then?
[20:37] Olivia
Help me!
[20:41] Hanako
You have no escape from the high-tech
restraint of the Skippy-Ropey.
[20:48] Hanako
And with this enhanced interrogation tool,
[20:52] Hanako
I shall make you confess
all of your spy activities.
[20:55] Olivia
Th-That's...
[20:57] Olivia
The most advanced interrogation tool
in the universe, the Kewpie-chan!
[21:01] Olivia
Oh, no!
[21:03] Olivia
That tool is going to blow my mind.
[21:07] Olivia
It's going to do things to me.
[21:12] Hanako
It is truly mind-blowing.
[21:15] Hanako
I tried it on myself, and it wasn't
long before my brain went whack.
[21:24] Olivia
Honda-san!
[21:25] Olivia
I'm pretty sure your brain's already whack
[21:27] Olivia
if you're using interrogation
tools on yourself!
[21:30] Kasumi
How's that?
[21:31] Sensei
Um...
[21:33] Sensei
I-I think it'll be good...
[21:37] Kasumi
Yeah!
[21:37] Olivia
Oh, jeez, she's got such a good smile.
SIGN Pastimers Club
[21:40] Hanako
Hey, what do you think of this poster I made?
[21:43] Kasumi
It's perfect!
[21:45] Kasumi
Could you write "Announcing
Anime Season 2!" at the top?
[21:48] Hanako
But there's no plans for a season 2.
[21:50] Kasumi
I want it to look like a huge project.
SIGN Announcing Anime Season 2!!
[21:53] Hanako
I never knew Kasumi was such a dreamer.
[22:02] [SONG] ---
The Tale of Genji Excerpt Translation: Dennis Washburn
SIGN Japanese Pastimes, Please
[23:27] N
Tag.
SIGN Tag
SIGN Murderer
[23:28] N
A game in which one becomes a demon.
SIGN Alien
demon
[23:31] N
Oni are often arrested for
taking their pranks too far.
SIGN Unit-01
Oni
[23:35] N
Because of the dangers involved,
it is banned at school.
11 - Goodbye, Student Council President | Oka-ken Witch Project | Face of Mass Destruction
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Goodbye, Student Council President
[01:34] President
Nope.
[01:35] Hanako
Why not, Student Council President?!
[01:37] Hanako
It's an epic!
[01:39] Kasumi
I even made a poster.
[01:40] President
No matter how epic it may be,
[01:42] President
I can't allow it to be screened
at the cultural festival.
[01:44] President
There are way too many things
that make it a no-go.
[01:47] President
Especially troubling was the torture scene,
[01:49] President
where you tried to shove an
onion-head doll up her ass.
[01:53] Hanako
That was faked!
[01:54] Hanako
I told you to cut that scene, Kasumi-san!
[01:57] Olivia
She's so freaked out.
[01:59] President
In any case, I can't allow it.
[02:00] President
Please bring us another proposal
for the cultural festival.
[02:06] Hanako
We'll be back with a director's cut version.
[02:09] President
The director's cut must be even worse.
[02:14] President
Student Council President
work is pretty drab.
[02:17] President
Is my precious term going to end responding
to all these stupid problems?
[02:22] Kasumi
How long will you be here tomorrow?
[02:24] President
Let's see...
[02:25] President
There are still some clubs that
haven't submitted their proposals,
[02:28] President
so I need to bug them.
[02:29] President
The vice president should be here,
so she should respond in my place.
[02:34] Kasumi
There's a vice president?
[02:36] President
There is, believe it or not.
[02:38] N
And then what happened?
[02:40] President
I wonder when the vice
president's getting here.
[02:42] VP
Hey, President! Sowwie!
[02:45] VP
I'm back from the meeting with Opposite-san.
[02:48] President
Thank you, Vice President.
[02:50] President
Can you take it from here?
[02:52] VP
Roger that.
SIGN Girls' School
SIGN Convenience store
SIGN Hospital
[02:53] President
The cultural festival is held
every year with the boys' school
[02:57] President
on the opposite side of the street.
SIGN Boys' school
[03:00] President
Everyone calls the boys' school
by their nickname, Opposite-san.
[03:04] President
And this vice president goes to the
boys' school just about every day,
[03:09] President
saying it's for "meetings."
[03:13] President
By herself, no less.
[03:14] President
Um, should I come to Opposite-san
with you for once?
[03:18] President
It must be tough holding meetings
with them by yourself.
[03:21] VP
It's okay.
[03:22] VP
I mean, you have a lot to do.
[03:24] VP
I don't want to waste your
time doing grunt work.
[03:28] President
I see.
[03:29] President
To be honest, I'm the one
doing grunt work every day.
[03:32] President
Thank you for your consideration.
[03:37] President
The negative emotions in my heart
spread like soy sauce stains.
[03:44] VP
Hey, what's up?
[03:46] VP
What? You miss me?
[03:48] VP
Okay, sure.
[03:49] VP
I'll be right back.
[03:51] VP
Sorry, President, they need me for stuff
again, so I'm going back to Opposite-san.
[03:55] President
But I have to go visit the other clubs.
[03:59] President
I need you to watch the office.
[04:01] VP
You should just put up a sign
saying "Not in the office."
[04:04] President
Actually, I'll go to Opposite-san while
I'm out visiting the other clubs,
[04:07] President
so I'd like you to stay here.
[04:10] VP
No way.
[04:11] VP
I'm the only one who knows how to do it.
[04:12] President
Just tell me, and I'll deal with it.
[04:14] VP
Nope, nope, nope! You wouldn't
get it, even if I told you.
[04:18] VP
It's really complicated.
[04:19] President
Okay, now what?
[04:22] President
I want to solve everything peacefully.
[04:25] President
I absolutely don't want to get in
a fight with the vice president.
[04:28] President
But just once...
[04:30] President
Just once in my life...
[04:32] President
I want to go visit Opposite-san.
[04:38] President
Rock, paper, scissors.
[04:42] President
Oh, no, I ran out in such a hurry.
[04:47] President
This is awful. She isn't on to me, is she?
[04:48] President
She hasn't realized that I wanted
to go to the boys' school, has she?
[04:52] President
I never knew I had such a slutty streak.
[04:55] President
Please don't let anyone notice
this tiny bud within me.
[05:04] President
Boys' school! Woo!
[05:06] Girl A
The president's happy to go to Opposite-san?
[05:09] Girl B
That's a bit creepy.
SIGN Supernatural Phenomena Science Club AKA Occult Club
[05:11] President
Oh, yeah, the Occult Club hasn't
submitted their proposal yet.
[05:17] President
I should go in and ask them first.
[05:25] President
Th-They have terrifying glares, as always.
[05:28] Oka
Is something wrong, President?
[05:31] President
Uh, you haven't submitted a
proposal for your contribution
[05:34] President
to the cultural festival, have you?
[05:37] Oka
We plan on opening a snack shop.
[05:41] President
Huh, a snack shop?
[05:43] President
I see, I see.
[05:44] President
Is that...
[05:46] President
I can't bring myself to ask if
it's safe for human consumption.
[05:50] President
That sounds delicious.
[05:52] Oka
Please have one, President.
[05:55] President
Th-Thank you.
[05:58] Oka
Please let me know what you think.
[06:00] Agrippa
Have it now, please.
[06:07] President
Th-Thank you.
[06:10] Oka
That gesture...
[06:11] Agrippa
It was like a "have mercy" pose.
[06:13] President
Okay, please bring me your proposal later.
SIGN Supernatural
Phenomena
Science Club
AKA Occult Club
[06:16] President
Please let me be safe.
[06:19] Olivia
Why did you have squid ink
spaghetti for lunch, Hanako?
[06:22] Olivia
It reeked pretty bad.
[06:23] Hanako
Mom's hooked on squid ink right now.
[06:25] Olivia
Your lips are black as hell.
[06:27] Kasumi
Hey, President.
[06:28] Hanako
That's perfect.
[06:29] Hanako
President!
[06:31] Olivia
Could you look at the movie again?
[06:33] Kasumi
Onion-head's not in it anymore.
[06:35] President
Wait, hang on a second.
[06:37] President
I'm going to Opposite...
[06:38] Olivia
Oh, yeah, I saw you come
out of the Occult Club.
[06:41] Hanako
Hey, they're running a snack shop
for the cultural festival, right?
[06:43] President
Huh? How did you know?
[06:50] President
Have you happened to try
the Occult Club's candy?
[06:55] Hanako
Yes.
[06:56] Hanako
They gave me one yesterday.
[07:01] President
One-day incubation period...
[07:05] President
Please go see a doctor as soon
as you can, too, Honda-san.
[07:11] Hanako
What was that?
[07:13] Kasumi
It was like a "have mercy" thing.
[07:16] VP
It's a message from the president.
[07:19] VP
She's going to the hospital, huh?
[07:21] VP
I guess I'm going to Opposite-san, then!
SIGN Tee hee
[07:26] N
The president had no idea that
the vice president was going out
[07:30] N
with all six members of the
Opposite-san student council.
[07:33] N
This leads to the worst bloodshed
in the school's history,
[07:38] N
but that's a story for another time.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
[07:44] [SONG] ---
Oka-ken Witch Project
[07:48] Agrippa
Luu.
[07:50] Agrippa
Isn't it great that the
president tried our candy?
[07:53] Olivia
Yeah.
[07:53] Agrippa
I'm sure we'll get approval
for the snack shop.
[07:56] Olivia
Oh, and I want to make other
snacks, aside from candy.
[08:00] Agrippa
Good idea.
[08:02] Agrippa
Let's make a huge menu.
[08:03] Agrippa
All right, let's go for it.
[08:05] Olivia
Yeah.
[08:06] Agrippa
Let's witch cooking!
[08:09] Olivia
How about cookies?
[08:11] Agrippa
That sounds easy.
[08:12] Olivia
Yeah, you just have to knead
it, mold it and bake it.
[08:15] Agrippa
It would be kind of lame
doing normal cookies though.
[08:18] Olivia
Okay, let's draw designs for
witchy cookies and share them.
[08:22] Agrippa
Okay.
[08:23] N
And then what happened?
[08:25] Agrippa
Okay, let's share them.
[08:27] Olivia
I propose witch hat and broom cookies.
[08:31] Agrippa
That's so cute.
[08:33] Olivia
How about yours, Agrippa?
[08:35] Agrippa
A mouse jammed into concrete cookie.
[08:40] Olivia
You sure are crazy.
[08:44] Agrippa
Thank you!
[08:45] Agrippa
Want to make all of these, then?
[08:48] Olivia
Yeah, let's do that.
[08:49] Olivia
Done!
[08:51] Agrippa
They turned out well.
[08:53] Olivia
Yeah.
[08:53] Olivia
How about yours, Agrippa?
[08:54] Agrippa
They're almost done.
[08:57] Agrippa
My grandma gave me this
vial of magic essence.
[09:03] Agrippa
Can I pour a drop in the end?
[09:05] Olivia
What does it do?
[09:07] Agrippa
I don't know.
[09:08] Agrippa
But my grandma taught me a long time ago...
[09:11] (Flashback) Grandma
Aguri, this is a magic essence to
use when the time is truly right.
[09:17] (Flashback) Agrippa
Is it magic?
[09:19] (Flashback) Grandma
It sure is.
[09:20] (Flashback) Grandma
Just a drop of this when you need
it, and it'll make everyone happy.
[09:25] Olivia
Okay, let's do it.
[09:28] Agrippa
Let's make everyone who tries it happy!
SIGN Faculty Room
[09:33] Sensei
Me? Taste test it?
[09:35] Olivia
Yes, Sensei.
[09:37] Agrippa
We want to hear what you think of it.
[09:39] Sensei
Are you sure you want me to try it?
[09:42] Sensei
I can't wait.
[09:43] Sensei B
What's that, Sensei?
[09:45] Sensei A
The Occult Club girls made these snacks.
[09:48] Sensei B
That's great.
[09:49] Sensei B
What does it look like?
[09:53] Sensei A
What is this?!
[09:54] Olivia
Cookies.
[09:55] Agrippa
I think they'll be delicious.
[09:56] Agrippa
Try it.
[10:04] Sensei A
Hey, it just tastes like a normal cookie.
[10:07] Sensei A
It has an utterly normal texture
and an absolutely normal flavor.
[10:11] Sensei A
Normal.
[10:13] Sensei B
Sensei's expectations were so low that
[10:15] Sensei B
he's acting like he had the
ultimate dish even though
[10:17] Sensei B
all he's saying is that it's normal.
[10:18] Olivia
We're thinking of selling
these at the cultural fair.
[10:21] Agrippa
What do you think?
[10:22] Sensei A
I think it'd be good.
[10:24] Sensei A
Kids would probably love these designs.
[10:27] Sensei A
More than anything, it tasted
normal. It was great.
[10:32] Olivia
Good for us, Agrippa.
[10:34] Agrippa
Yeah.
[10:35] Agrippa
Maybe Grandma's magic essence worked.
[10:39] Agrippa
Thank you, Grandma.
[10:41] Grandma
I'll be waiting at Walpurgis Night.
[10:54] Sensei A
Cookies...
[10:56] Sensei A
I want those cookies...
[11:00] Sensei A
Cookies...
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Face of Mass Destruction
SIGN Pastimers Club
[11:16] Hanako
How are we going to get approval
for our cultural fair movie?
[11:20] Olivia
Oh yeah, we never got to
meet the vice president.
[11:23] Hanako
What was she even like, anyway?
[11:24] Kasumi
I think she made a speech
when she took office.
[11:27] Hanako
I was asleep standing. I don't remember.
[11:29] Kasumi
She seemed really proper.
[11:31] Hanako
Like the president?
[11:32] Kasumi
Yeah, yeah.
[11:33] Kasumi
She had the same kind of
vibe as the president.
[11:35] VP
President!
[11:37] VP
I'm headed to Opposite-san again.
[11:43] Sensei C
I'd like to speak to you about the posters.
[11:46] President
Wh-What about them?
SIGN 53rd Cultural Festival
[11:48] Sensei C
Is it true that this is the final version?
[11:51] President
Th-The art club says this
is all they could draw.
[11:54] President
So, they've taken on surrealist influences...
[11:57] President
It's a deconstruction of
the concept of humanity
[11:59] President
and a prayer for lasting peace on Earth.
[12:01] Sensei C
Have them redo it.
[12:03] President
Why?!
[12:04] Sensei C
Why?
[12:05] Sensei C
Make it something a little
less controversial.
[12:09] President
I have to negotiate with them again?
SIGN Art Club - Them
[12:14] President
This is making me depressed.
[12:15] Sensei C
Say, where's the vice president?
[12:17] President
She was just here.
[12:20] President
Um...
[12:22] VP
What is it?
[12:23] VP
I've been here the whole time.
[12:25] Sensei C
Uh, why are you drenched
every time I see you?
[12:29] VP
I like dumping water on myself.
[12:30] Sensei C
Are you making good progress on your
meetings with the boys' school?
[12:34] Sensei C
There hasn't been a single report.
[12:35] VP
All is going well.
[12:37] Sensei C
I'll be leaving, then.
[12:38] Sensei C
Please take care of the poster.
[12:40] President
Okay.
[12:43] President
You know, you're always impeccable
when you go to Opposite-san,
[12:44] VP
I have to put my makeup back on quick!
[12:48] President
but you really don't need to go that far.
[12:50] President
Makeup is mostly banned
at our school, after all.
[12:54] VP
Are you serious, President?
[12:55] VP
Are you telling me to show
myself to boys without makeup?
[12:58] VP
That's the same thing as telling boys
to walk around with their wangs out.
[13:03] President
That analogy would mean that your face
without makeup is equal to a pnis.
[13:08] President
No, I don't think it's really that obscene.
[13:12] VP
That's not the point.
[13:13] VP
The point is that it's bad etiquette.
[13:16] VP
I've only ever shown them
my face with clothes on.
[13:19] VP
I can't show them my naked face now.
[13:22] VP
Understand?
[13:23] President
Uh-huh.
[13:24] President
Well, whatever.
[13:26] President
Anyway, I'm going to take this poster
to the art club to negotiate.
[13:30] President
I'll leave the rest to you.
[13:31] VP
Okay.
[13:36] VP
What's up, President?
[13:37] VP
Forget something?
[13:38] Hanako
Pardon me, we're here to
make our request once more.
[13:41] VP
Sure, sure.
[13:43] VP
Shit, a dude!
[13:44] VP
What is it?
[13:45] Hanako
Where's the president?
[13:47] VP
I guess I'll just do half my face for now.
[13:49] VP
The president's not in right now.
[13:51] VP
As the vice president, I'll
take your inquiries for now.
[13:53] Hanako
Vice president?
[13:54] Hanako
Huh? She isn't quite like how*
Kasumi-san described her.
[13:57] Hanako
U-Um...
[13:58] Hanako
We'd like to show a movie
for the cultural festival.
[14:00] Hanako
We're here for permission.
[14:01] VP
Oh, the Pastimers Club?
[14:03] VP
I'm sorry, the president watched the edited
video, but she said it's still a no.
[14:07] Hanako
In that case, Maeda will grovel
in my place, so please.
[14:13] Maeda
Uh, Hanako-sama, that's...
[14:15] Hanako
I'm begging you!
[14:16] Hanako
I've begged a ton of times already!
[14:19] Hanako
What difference does it make for
you to tip your cheap head?
[14:22] Hanako
Come on, grovel on all fours!
[14:23] Maeda
U-Understood.
[14:25] Maeda
If that is your wish, Hanako-sama.
[14:27] VP
What the... Seriously?
[14:28] Maeda
Miss Vice President, I beg of you!
[14:40] Maeda
Hey, Hanako-sama...
[14:42] Maeda
I apologize, for my buttocks have torn.
[14:46] Hanako
O-Okay.
[14:47] Hanako
That's pretty bad if your
butt gets torn, right?
[14:49] VP
Um, er...
[14:50] Hanako
Okay, why don't you grovel again,
[14:54] Hanako
this time to apologize to the
door you made a hole in?
[14:55] Maeda
Yes, ma'am.
[14:56] VP
Wait, not that angle.
[14:59] VP
Seriously, go away.
[15:00] VP
What the hell? It's so breezy.
[15:04] VP
Whatever, I need to stop
thinking and finish my makeup.
[15:09] Olivia
Um...
[15:10] Olivia
I'm with the Pastimers Club.
[15:12] VP
The Pastimers Club again?!
[15:13] Olivia
M-My brother will explain.
[15:16] VP
This girl's brother?!
[15:18] VP
Come in.
[15:21] Olivia
Huh? Her face changed on a dime.
[15:23] Olivia
My mood right now is
overwhelmingly this side.
[15:26] Olivia
O-Onii-chan, prove her wrong!
[15:30] Oniichan
Leave this to me.
[15:32] Oniichan
I come with a wish to see this here
Olivia's film granted approval.
[15:37] Oniichan
This movie...
[15:38] Oniichan
may, at first glance, appear to present
itself as a lofty creed of faith,
[15:41] Oniichan
but this is not the case.
[15:42] Oniichan
It is but a collection of clichés from
Hollywood's popular entertainment —
[15:46] Oniichan
an amalgamation of myriad pastiches —
[15:49] Oniichan
a passage, in Benjamin's terms.
[15:51] Oniichan
The depictions of brutality
and chaos are, in this sense,
[15:54] Oniichan
most appropriately described as
a "flirtation with tokenism,"
[15:59] Oniichan
devoid of any of its original deviance.
[16:00] Oniichan
Indeed, film was, fundamentally,
a parody of reality —
[16:01] Oniichan
a mimesis of mimesis, which,
as its primary function,
[16:04] Oniichan
sought to actively rid itself of meaning.
[16:05] Oniichan
Therefore, by this argument,
film is best understood as a
[16:07] Oniichan
descendant of the bread-and-circus
entertainment of ancient Rome,
[16:09] Oniichan
wherein an evaluation based
on its educational merit
[16:10] Olivia
Wow!
[16:11] VP
Sorry, the VP is stupid.
I totally don't get it.
[16:11] Oniichan
is antithetical to its fundamental being,
[16:13] Oniichan
rendering it a caricature
of itself, but alas,
[16:14] Oniichan
the school council president's
deliberation...
[16:16] Girl A
I'm pretty sure I cut my bangs too short.
[16:19] Girl B
I think you look fine.
[16:21] Guy A
Hey.
[16:22] Girl B
Whoa, that was the Opposite-san
school council president.
[16:26] Girl A
He's so hot!
[16:28] Guy A
My beautiful vice president,
forgive me, I'm here unannounced.
[16:33] VP
Jeez, they flustered me, and now
I messed up the right half.
[16:38] VP
It's all the Pastimers Club's fault.
[16:41] VP
Guess I'll fix it up in the washroom.
[16:43] Guy A
Hey, I snuck in to see you.
[16:58] VP
I'm sorry, a pretty girl's got a lot of faces.
[17:03] VP
Now, then, what should I do?
[17:07] Hanako
It doesn't work when it's
just one of us at a time.
[17:10] Hanako
Let's all go together.
[17:11] Olivia
Onii-chan did his best, but...
[17:13] VP
Give me a break!
[17:15] Hanako
Huh?
[17:16] Hanako
Vice President?
[17:17] Hanako
Where'd she go?
[17:19] Hanako
She was here a minute ago.
[17:24] Olivia
What should we do?
[17:25] Hanako
Want to come back later?
[17:27] Kasumi
This desk takes me back.
[17:31] Kasumi
We hid under that desk when
we came here last time.
[17:35] Kasumi
Are the three of us from back
then still under the table?
[17:38] Kasumi
Just kidding.
[17:42] Hanako
Let's come back later, then.
[17:45] Hanako
What's up, Kasumi-san?
[17:48] Kasumi
There's a corpse under the desk.
[17:50] Hanako
It's true!
[17:52] Olivia
Oh my God, that's scary!
[17:53] VP
They found him already.
[17:56] Hanako
We brought him out here, but...
[17:58] Maeda
I did indeed.
[17:59] Hanako
What do we do now?
[18:00] Kasumi
Th-The cops!
[18:02] Olivia
The cops?
[18:03] Olivia
We touched him all over.
[18:04] Olivia
Are we safe?
[18:06] Hanako
Is it a crime to mess up a crime scene?
[18:09] Kasumi
But it was so sudden...
[18:11] Kasumi
Wait, did you two notice when you came here?
[18:13] Olivia
Not at all.
[18:14] Olivia
I only saw the vice president.
[18:15] Hanako
Where did it come from?
[18:18] Olivia
I think I know.
[18:22] Olivia
Wasn't there a shounen manga where they
buried a corpse in the school walls?
[18:28] Kindaichi
In the name of my grandpa!
[18:30] Olivia
Isn't that it?
[18:31] Hanako
I remember that!
[18:32] Hanako
It was super scary!
[18:33] Olivia
It was, right?
[18:34] Olivia
It was super scary!
[18:35] Kasumi
The earlier chapters were so scary.
[18:38] VP
That's such a BS theory.
[18:40] Kasumi
So let's just say this
came out of the walls.
[18:43] Hanako
Yeah, that's probably definitely
not it, but whatever.
[18:47] VP
That's it?
[18:48] VP
Have these girls shut their brains off?!
[18:50] Kasumi
So then...
[18:52] Kasumi
The vice president was right
here... Where is she?
[18:55] Kasumi
Staaaare...
[18:56] VP
Do I have to solve it again?
[19:00] Olivia
She's around here somewhere, maybe?
[19:01] Kasumi
I see.
[19:02] Hanako
Okay, let's find the vice president, then.
[19:04] Olivia
Okay.
[19:05] Kasumi
Yes.
[19:05] VP
Please, God, protect me
from these dumbasses!
[19:08] VP
Oh, that's...
[19:10] VP
the president's face mask!
[19:13] VP
Thank you, President!
SIGN Gyark!
[19:20] Hanako
What's wrong, Kasumi-san?
[19:21] Olivia
Did you find the vice president?
[19:23] Kasumi
Mask!
[19:23] Kasumi
Mask!
[19:24] Kasumi
M-Mask!
[19:26] VP
You got me!
[19:27] VP
Am I, like, MK5 right now?
SIGN MK5
(5 seconds before I seriously end up in the slammer)
[19:32] Hanako
What language is that?
[19:33] Olivia
Why are your eyes different sizes?
[19:36] VP
She asked that so honestly,
it actually stung the most.
[19:39] Hanako
Guys, that must be the murderer.
[19:41] Hanako
Let's catch her ourselves.
[19:43] Hanako
The vice president probably
isn't alive anymore.
[19:46] Hanako
I'll go from the front.
[19:47] Hanako
Olivia, you take right.
[19:48] Hanako
Kasumi-san, left.
[19:49] Olivia
Okay.
[19:50] Kasumi
Got it.
[19:51] Hanako
All right.
[19:53] Hanako
Charge!
[19:55] Hanako
Why are we all going from the front?!
[19:57] Kasumi
I got nervous and made a mistake!
[19:58] Olivia
I wasn't paying attention to you, Hanako.
[20:00] Hanako
You weren't paying attention?!
[20:01] Olivia
Get her!
[20:04] Kasumi
I'm sorry.
[20:10] Hanako
Stop panting over there, damn it!
[20:14] Oniichan
Raw middle-schoolers embracing...
[20:16] Oniichan
What a sight.
[20:17] Oniichan
Thank my lucky stars.
[20:20] VP
President, help me!
[20:23] President
Yes? What is it?
[20:25] President
I could hear you from the hallway.
[20:31] President
Hell on Earth.
[20:33] President
What are you doing?
[20:35] President
Is this a new harassment tactic, Pastimers?
[20:37] Hanako
No, we're the victims here.
[20:39] Olivia
It took all our courage
to catch this murderer.
SIGN She can kind of guess what happened
[20:46] President
Pastimers Club, please let go of her.
[20:51] President
And I'll allow the movie.
[20:54] President
Please keep what happened a secret.
[20:59] Hanako
Okay!
[21:00] President
Also, never come back.
[21:01] Hanako
Roger that!
[21:02] Hanako
Yay!
[21:03] Kasumi
Yay for us!
[21:04] Hanako
You just have to keep trying!
[21:09] President
What just touched me?
[21:13] President
Do I have to deal with this?
[21:17] VP
U-Um...
[21:19] VP
President...
[21:20] President
Stay calm.
[21:21] President
Where should we bury it?
[21:23] President
Is there a lake nearby?
[21:25] VP
No, he's alive.
[21:27] VP
Stuff happened.
[21:29] President
Oh, I see.
[21:31] President
Well, in that case...
[21:38] VP
Are you up?
[21:39] Guy A
Huh? I...
[21:40] VP
Jeez, you just randomly collapsed.
[21:42] VP
I got so worried.
[21:44] Guy A
Randomly?
[21:44] Guy A
I feel like I just got kneed in the gut.
[21:47] VP
You hit your gut against the
table when you collapsed.
[21:50] Guy A
And that monster?
[21:52] VP
What are you talking about?
[21:53] VP
There's no such thing.
[21:55] Guy A
No, it had the same hairstyle you did,
but it had the face of a monster.
[21:58] Guy A
Such an abomination can't be
allowed to exist in our world.
[22:03] VP
I told you to make something up!
[22:05] N
It took a while before he escaped the loop.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
12 - Daniel | Bra Meeting | Fairy Tale Battle Royale | Paper Wars
Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN Daniel
[01:33] Sensei
Ta-da.
[01:34] Sensei
Look, isn't he adorable?
[01:37] Hanako
Sensei, when did you have a baby?
[01:40] Kasumi
C-Congratulations.
[01:41] Sensei
No, no.
[01:42] Sensei
This is my friend's baby.
[01:45] Sensei
I actually used to go to
this school, you know.
[01:47] Hanako
Really? I never knew.
[01:48] Olivia
Were the uniforms the same back in your day?
[01:51] Sensei
They were.
[01:52] Sensei
So my friend was in the pro wrestling
circle, and she came to say hi,
[01:57] Sensei
so I'm taking care of her
baby in the meantime.
[02:00] Hanako
She should have brought him.
[02:01] Hanako
Wouldn't the current members appreciate it?
[02:03] Sensei
She said it might be too
stimulating for the baby.
[02:06] Hanako
Hey, Sensei, I want to try holding him.
[02:09] Sensei
Are you used to taking
care of babies, Honda-san?
[02:11] Hanako
I used to hold my brother.
[02:14] Sensei
Really? Okay.
[02:18] Hanako
He smells so good!
[02:20] Hanako
The aroma of a mother's milk and pee, oh my!
[02:25] Hanako
I feel like I'm going to get high.
[02:27] Olivia
Are you sure there isn't
a better way to say that?
[02:29] Hanako
What's the problem? The baby's happy, too.
[02:32] PA
Higuchi-sensei, please come to
the staff office immediately.
[02:35] Sensei
Oh, dear, what should I do?
[02:37] Hanako
We'll watch the baby. You go ahead.
[02:40] Sensei
But...
[02:40] Olivia
Hanako does seem used to it.
[02:42] Sensei
I'm a bit worried, though.
[02:45] Sensei
I guess I could take him to my friend
before I go to the staff office.
[02:48] Hanako
He doesn't like it, Sensei.
[02:50] Sensei
You're right.
[02:52] Sensei
I'll be right back. Please take care of him.
[02:55] Hanako
Sure.
[03:00] Hanako
Why is he crying all of a sudden?!
[03:02] Olivia
I don't know. He was happy
until just a moment ago.
[03:05] Hanako
He's grabbing Kasumi-san's necktie!
[03:06] Hanako
He wants you to hold him!
[03:09] Kasumi
O-Okay, over here.
[03:13] Hanako
He stopped crying.
[03:14] Hanako
You like Kasumi? What an old geezer.
[03:19] Hanako
He's squeezing your boobs!
[03:21] Kasumi
Well, he's a baby.
[03:22] Kasumi
S-Sorry, I don't have any
plans for producing milk yet.
[03:31] Kasumi
This kid's pretending to want
milk, but look at his face,
[03:33] Kasumi
he totally just wants to
play with your boobies!
[03:36] Kasumi
You pervy brat!
[03:37] Kasumi
Disgusting!
[03:38] Olivia
A baby's not going to be thinking like that.
[03:40] Hanako
No, this one is!
[03:41] Kasumi
Okay, why don't you try holding him, then?
[03:46] Hanako
He smells so good!
[03:48] Baby
Flat.
[03:50] Hanako
He talked!
[03:51] Hanako
And I feel like he just insulted me!
[03:53] Olivia
No way, he couldn't have.
[03:55] Kasumi
He's a baby.
[03:57] Olivia
Hey, I want to hold him, too.
[03:59] ---
Here.
[04:04] Olivia
He's so cute!
[04:05] Olivia
So pudgy!
[04:08] Baby
Spicy!
[04:09] Kasumi
What?!
[04:10] Hanako
He definitely spoke just now!
[04:12] Hanako
Those were vicious words, too!
[04:14] Olivia
W-Well, I mean, he's a baby.
[04:17] Olivia
Here.
[04:17] Hanako
That's not reassuring
when you say it shaking.
[04:19] Kasumi
Why don't we put him down somewhere?
[04:22] Hanako
Yeah, I have a bad feeling
about holding him for too long.
[04:29] Hanako
He's like...
[04:31] Hanako
He seems kind of cocky, don't you think?
[04:33] Kasumi
Maybe he's not holding his head up.
[04:35] Hanako
Is it safe to put him on a chair
when his head's not being held up?
[04:40] Hanako
There's something menacing about him.
[04:42] Kasumi
Maybe he wants something to suckle on.
[04:45] Olivia
Oh yeah, there was a bag full
of baby stuff on Sensei's desk.
[04:49] Olivia
I wonder if she has something.
[04:52] Olivia
Pacifier!
[04:54] Kasumi
Why don't you give that to the baby?
[04:58] Olivia
Here you go.
[04:59] Olivia
He's so cute!
[05:01] Kasumi
He's really just a baby.
[05:08] Hanako
Dude, this kid's a mafia don!
[05:10] Hanako
This kid's weird!
[05:12] Hanako
Do you think he might have
memories from his past life?
[05:14] Kasumi
N-No way.
[05:15] Kasumi
He's a baby, after all.
[05:16] Hanako
I'm sick of hearing that!
[05:19] Kasumi
I think he's hot.
[05:21] Olivia
Oh, yeah.
[05:23] Olivia
Ta-da.
[05:23] Olivia
Mini fan.
[05:25] Olivia
I snuck it in from home.
[05:27] Kasumi
Let's turn it on and cool him off.
[05:32] Olivia
How's that? Nice and cool?
[05:34] Olivia
He's liking it.
[05:36] Hanako
Hey, what else is in this bag?
[05:40] Olivia
Wait, I want to see.
[05:41] Hanako
Huh? What's this white powder?
[05:44] Olivia
Cold medicine or something, maybe?
[05:46] Hanako
Are babies supposed to take
antibiotics and stuff?
[05:49] Hanako
It says something on it.
[05:51] Hanako
You there, baby, what are you doing?!
[05:56] Hanako
It's pulling me in!
[05:58] Olivia
Wait, Hanako-san, don't go that way!
[06:00] Hanako
Kasumi-san, the switch!
[06:01] Hanako
Press the stop button!
[06:03] Kasumi
O-Okay!
[06:04] Kasumi
Um, the baby's playing on top of
the switch with a giant smile.
[06:07] Hanako
Just move that creature out of the way!
[06:11] Hanako
Help me!
[06:12] Hanako
Hanako!
[06:19] Hanako
He's legit trying to kill me!
[06:21] Kasumi
Stay back, it's dangerous.
[06:23] Hanako
Press the stop button before
you hold that damn flesh blob!
[06:27] Kasumi
H-Hold on, my hands are full.
[06:30] Hanako
Are you mental?!
[06:37] Hanako
It's over...
[06:43] Hanako
I'm safe?
[06:44] Hanako
Kasumi's leg!
[06:48] Olivia
You tugged on the cable.
[06:50] Kasumi
Oh, you're right.
[06:51] Hanako
You could have done that sooner.
[06:53] Sensei
Sorry, guys, was everything okay?
[06:57] Sensei
Oh, good, he's happy.
[06:59] Mom
Sorry for the trouble, everyone.
[07:02] Hanako
It's fine.
[07:04] Hanako
Hm? You like the ladies?
[07:06] Hanako
He doesn't usually like anyone besides me.
[07:09] Kasumi
Oh, really?
[07:11] Hanako
I'm absolutely honored.
[07:12] Olivia
Yay, I'm so happy.
[07:14] Baby
Oh
[07:16] Baby
yay.
[07:17] Baby
Oh
[07:18] Baby
boy.
[07:20] Baby
I
[07:20] Baby
found
[07:21] Baby
my
[07:22] Baby
self
[07:24] Baby
a
[07:25] Baby
brand
[07:26] Baby
new
[07:28] Baby
toy.
[07:29] Mom
Look at him giggle.
[07:31] Mom
He's so happy.
[07:32] Hanako
Is it just me, or was he saying something?
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Bra Meeting
[07:41] Olivia
It was so hot.
[07:44] Hanako
Why do we need to get hit
by freak weather on PE day?
[07:48] Olivia
I know, it's so sweaty and gross.
[07:51] Hanako
My sports bra is all sticky, too.
[07:53] Olivia
Take it off.
[07:54] Hanako
Are you serious?
[07:55] Hanako
They'll sag if I do.
[07:57] Olivia
They aren't big enough to sag. Don't worry.
[07:59] Hanako
How would you kn—
[08:09] Hanako
Kasumi-shan...
[08:10] Kasumi
What is it?
[08:11] Hanako
Y-Your bra-sama is f-f-fantastic.
[08:18] Kasumi
Th-Th-This was the only style
I could find in my size.
[08:23] Hanako
"This was the only style
I could find in my size"?
[08:31] Hanako
Say what?
[08:32] Olivia
Here we go again.
[08:33] Hanako
That's the kind of excuse boys
make when they say their moms
[08:37] Hanako
would only buy them certain trunks.
[08:40] Kasumi
Huh? What kind of analogy is that?
[08:42] Kasumi
I don't get it at all.
[08:44] Kasumi
I should get changed fast.
[08:46] Kasumi
I swear, it's true!
[08:48] Kasumi
I'd want to choose from more
designs if I could, too!
[08:51] Hanako
You'd never know what it feels
like to be a have-not, Kasumi-san.
[08:57] Kasumi
N-No, well...
[08:58] Kasumi
I always wonder how much fun it would be
[09:02] Kasumi
to choose from lots of different
designs like you can, Hanako-san.
[09:06] Kasumi
There are more cute designs for smaller bras.
[09:12] Hanako
Tell me more!
[09:14] Olivia
Put your clothes on, Hanako.
[09:15] N
And then what happened?
SIGN Pastimers Club
[09:17] Hanako
I've only ever worn sports bras until now.
[09:20] Hanako
It's finally time to make my real bra debut!
[09:24] Hanako
So what kind of bra are you wearing, Olivia?
[09:26] Olivia
Want to see?
[09:28] Olivia
You climb the stairs to adulthood...
[09:31] Olivia
...but...
[09:32] Olivia
...you're still a Cinderella.
[09:33] Kasumi
Uh...
[09:34] Kasumi
Okay, here's a bra website, then.
[09:36] Hanako
Sure, I shall take a look.
SIGN New
SIGN Cleavage - Wire Free Premium
[09:40] Hanako
There's more to them than
a lot of outfits, right?
[09:43] Olivia
I know.
[09:44] Olivia
Lace is so delicate.
[09:45] Olivia
Some of them even have shape memory.
[09:47] Hanako
It's the future.
[09:48] Hanako
This one's cute!
[09:49] Hanako
Can I click on it?
[09:50] Kasumi
Wait, before that, you should
probably measure your bust size.
[09:55] Hanako
I always buy small sports bras.
[09:57] Kasumi
Bras are more specific.
[09:59] Kasumi
You need to measure in centimeters.
[10:01] Hanako
I secretly measured at night,
and it was 74 centimeters.
[10:05] Hanako
I'll click A 75.
[10:07] Kasumi
Wait, wait.
[10:08] Kasumi
Which 74 centimeters is that 74 centimeters?
[10:11] Hanako
My breasts.
[10:14] Kasumi
Oh, we need to measure your band size.
[10:16] ---
What do you mean "band size"?
[10:17] Hanako
The A 75 means 75 centimeters band.
[10:23] Kasumi
It looks something like this.
SIGN Bust
Band
[10:25] Kasumi
The ratio between the top and
under determines your cup size.
[10:28] Hanako
Is that math?
[10:28] Kasumi
It's not math.
[10:29] Hanako
Wait, that's so complicated.
[10:31] Kasumi
No, it's fine.
[10:32] Kasumi
It's easy if you measure it out.
[10:35] Kasumi
I'm going to measure from over your bra.
[10:37] Hanako
Huh?
[10:38] ---
Come to think of it...
[10:40] Person A
I have a marshmallow body measuring
bust 85, waist 60, hip 88.
[10:45] (Flashback) Maeda
Bust 85...
[10:47] (Flashback) Maeda
That's a C cup.
[10:48] (Flashback) Hanako
How do you know that?
[10:50] (Flashback) Maeda
An 85 is about this big.
[10:52] (Flashback) Maeda
The left hand just sits there.
[10:54] (Flashback) Hanako
Could you please stop with the hand motions?!
[10:56] (Flashback) Maeda
It's an assessment based
on a big data dataset.
[10:58] (Flashback) Maeda
An 85 is a C.
[11:00] (Flashback) Hanako
I-I see.
[11:02] (Flashback) Hanako
Then what about a bust 96?
[11:04] (Flashback) Grandpa
Bust 96, you say?
[11:06] (Flashback) Hanako
Please don't come joining in, Grandpa.
[11:09] (Flashback) Grandpa
Bust 96 should be...
[11:11] (Flashback) Grandpa
Something like this, which makes it an F cup.
[11:14] (Flashback) Hanako
Seriously, stop it with the hands!
[11:16] (Flashback) Grandpa
Jackie was making the same
motions in Shaolin Wooden Men.
[11:20] (Flashback) Hanako
No he wasn't!
[11:20] (Flashback) Hanako
I never saw that!
[11:22] Hanako
Wait, so what was that?
[11:26] Kasumi
Hey, I'm done measuring.
[11:28] Hanako
How was it?
[11:29] Kasumi
Let's see, you have a band
size of 68 and a bust of 75.
[11:35] Hanako
Bust 75?!
[11:37] Hanako
I grew a centimeter!
[11:39] Olivia
Congrats!
[11:40] Hanako
Does that mean I have a B cup?
[11:42] Hanako
Am I climbing the B ladder?
[11:44] Kasumi
Let's see...
[11:45] Kasumi
Oh, you're an AA cup.
[11:50] Kasumi
Wait, maybe I'm an AA
between an A and B, right?
[11:54] Kasumi
Yay!
[11:55] Kasumi
Uh, I have to go to the bathroom.
[11:57] Olivia
Don't run away, Kasumi.
[11:59] Olivia
You have to tell her the truth.
[12:03] Kasumi
It's smaller than an A.
[12:06] Hanako
I had a feeling.
[12:09] Hanako
Why?
[12:10] Hanako
Did I do something wrong?
[12:13] Kasumi
You did nothing wrong.
[12:14] Hanako
Why then has God reduced my size so?!
[12:18] Olivia
Hanako...
[12:19] Hanako
Olivia...
[12:20] Olivia
Maybe you were imagining things
when you thought you were an A.
[12:24] Olivia
Like one of those people
who thinks they're a wizard
[12:26] Olivia
because they're receiving some
kind of signal from the sky.
[12:29] Kasumi
Hanako-san!
[12:31] Hanako
Let me go!
[12:32] Hanako
I'm going to enroll at the boys' school!
[12:34] Kasumi
Calm down!
[12:37] Hanako
Give me your flesh!
[12:38] Kasumi
Hanako?!
[12:40] Kasumi
All right, here goes the suction!
[12:42] Kasumi
Liposuction of the breasts!
[12:44] Olivia
Hanako's broken!
[12:52] Olivia
Wh-What's wrong?
[12:55] Hanako
I choked...
[12:56] Hanako
Stuff came out.
[12:57] Olivia
What stuff?
[12:58] Hanako
I think I've angered the boob gods.
[13:02] Hanako
I'm sorry, please don't take
any more boob away from me.
[13:08] Kasumi
Hanako-san, it's okay.
[13:10] Kasumi
On behalf of the boob gods, I forgive you.
[13:15] Hanako
I...
[13:16] Hanako
I...
[13:17] Hanako
I ask for the graces of the boob gods.
[13:21] Olivia
I don't know how they're managing
to hold a conversation,
[13:23] Olivia
but what's this "boob god"
that came out of nowhere?
SIGN Asobi Asobase
[13:27] [SONG] Text
Fairy Tale Battle Royale
[13:33] Olivia
Damn it!
[13:34] Olivia
Take this, damn it!
[13:36] Hanako
What're you doing, Olivia?
[13:37] Olivia
This game that was developed in my
country is popular in Japan right now.
[13:41] Hanako
It must be a weird one, then.
[13:42] Olivia
Ouch, but it's so cute.
SIGN Let's play together!
SIGN Fairy Tale Hell
SIGN Fairy Tale Hell.
[13:48] Hanako
What the? It's so cute!
[13:50] Kasumi
Oh, yeah.
[13:51] Kasumi
It looks fun.
[13:52] Olivia
Let's play it together, then.
[13:54] Olivia
I've been playing solo all this time, and
I've been waiting to play team games.
[13:58] Hanako
Yay!
[13:59] Olivia
You can download it from the Pineapple Store.
[14:01] Hanako
Right.
[14:02] Hanako
The Pineapple store. Sure.
[14:03] Kasumi
Uh...
[14:04] Kasumi
I have an old school phone.
[14:06] Olivia
You can play on PC, too.
[14:07] Olivia
You should play on your laptop.
[14:09] Hanako
All right, I downloaded it.
[14:11] Hanako
Let's start!
[14:12] Thing
Welcome to Fairy Tale Hell!
[14:14] Thing
Select a character.
SIGN Name: Kitty-chan
SIGN Abilities: Good with hands
SIGN Character Select
SIGN Select
SIGN I'm good with my hands
SIGN Name: Doggo-chan
SIGN Abilities: Fast runner
SIGN I'm a fast runner
SIGN Name: Bunny-chan
SIGN Abilities: Good jumper
SIGN I'm a good jumper
SIGN Name: Froggy-san
SIGN Abilities: Good vision
SIGN I have good vision
SIGN Abilities: Strong
SIGN Name: Teddy-chan
SIGN I'm strong
SIGN Name: Fox-chan
SIGN Abilities: Awful personality
SIGN I have an awful personality
[14:26] Hanako
Who are you playing, Olivia?
[14:27] Olivia
I'm Bunny-chan.
[14:28] Hanako
I'll play Kitty-chan, then.
[14:30] Kasumi
I'll play Doggo-chan.
SIGN Oden | Lollipop | Flowers | Drink Crayon | Cake | Donuts | Candy
[14:31] Voice
Choose an item.
[14:33] Hanako
They're all so cute.
[14:34] Hanako
What should I choose?
[14:35] Kasumi
Why are they all sideways?
[14:37] Olivia
Oden's useful.
[14:38] Kasumi
Is it?
[14:40] Kasumi
I'll go with that, then.
[14:41] Hanako
I'll take a lollipop.
[14:42] Olivia
Lollipops are good for beginners.
[14:45] Voice
Choose a name for your team.
[14:46] Hanako
A team name?
[14:48] Olivia
We might as well call it Pastimers Club.
[14:50] Kasumi
Okay, let's go with Pastimers Club.
[14:52] Voice
Your team name is Pastimers Club.
[14:55] Voice
Is this right?
[14:56] Hanako
This'll be fun!
[14:58] Olivia
Hey, we already got someone.
[14:59] Hanako
Got what?
[15:00] Olivia
Team HISHA wants to play with us.
[15:03] Hanako
You can play with other teams?
[15:05] Olivia
Sure you can.
[15:06] Olivia
That's the main part of the game, actually.
[15:08] Hanako
Okay, let's accept, then.
[15:09] Olivia
Okay.
[15:10] Voice
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one, start!
[15:12] Olivia
The countdown's starting.
[15:13] Olivia
Are you ready, guys?
[15:14] Hanako
Okay.
[15:15] Olivia
I forgot to teach you the rules.
[15:17] Olivia
Oh, well, it's simple.
[15:18] Olivia
You can learn as you go.
[15:19] Kasumi
Got it.
SIGN Start!
[15:22] Hanako
Kasumi-san, where are you?
[15:24] Kasumi
Over here.
[15:25] Hanako
Where's Olivia?
[15:26] Olivia
Here.
[15:27] Olivia
Here.
[15:28] Hanako
Why are you hiding there?
[15:30] Kasumi
I know.
[15:31] Kasumi
Let's go explore Fairy Land.
[15:33] Olivia
No, no.
[15:33] Olivia
You have to hide.
[15:35] Hanako
Come on, are you being squeamish
just because you're playing a bunny?
[15:37] Olivia
Stop it!
[15:38] Olivia
You need to hide, too, Hanako!
[15:45] Olivia
You're dead already.
[15:47] Hanako
Wait!
[15:48] Hanako
What's up with this game?!
[15:49] Olivia
Hurry up, you have to get treatment.
[15:51] Hanako
Why am I twitching?
[15:52] Olivia
You'll die if you don't eat
your lollipop within a minute.
SIGN Inventory
[15:55] Olivia
You forgot to buy it.
[15:57] Olivia
You only have poo.
[15:58] Hanako
Somebody help me!
[16:00] Olivia
Bah, your character's screwed.
[16:02] Olivia
Well, you're dead.
[16:06] Olivia
Come on, Kasumi, you have to hide, too.
[16:09] Hanako
No way!
[16:10] Hanako
This game's too distasteful!
[16:14] Olivia
Kasumi!
[16:15] ---
I'm scared!
[16:16] Olivia
Don't run out in the open like that!
[16:19] Kasumi
I have no clue...
SIGN Yay!
SIGN Critical hit!
SIGN You got to die without suffering!
[16:31] Olivia
I'm the only one left.
[16:33] Olivia
All three of them on the enemy
team are probably alive.
[16:36] Olivia
I think they shot at us from this way.
[16:40] Olivia
I knew it, they're after me!
SIGN The first player to make it to the "Hill of Hope"
SIGN gets the special weapon "Anthrax"!
[16:48] Olivia
I got a quest.
[16:50] Olivia
I don't know...
[16:51] Olivia
Let's crawl through the flower fields.
SIGN You triggered a flower field landmine.
Watch out for flowers with different colors!
[17:01] Olivia
I lost!
[17:03] Olivia
The enemy team's so good.
[17:06] Olivia
All right, let's go for round two!
[17:09] Hanako
No, I'm good.
[17:10] Kasumi
Me, too.
[17:11] Olivia
Why? We're just getting started.
[17:14] Hanako
I'm traumatized.
[17:16] Kasumi
I'm going to have nightmares.
[17:19] Olivia
Hey, I got a message.
[17:21] Olivia
It's from the HISHA people we just played.
[17:23] Olivia
"ez. git gud, noobs."
[17:26] Olivia
I'll tell them, "It's our first day playing."
[17:29] Olivia
It's best to just ignore these messages.
[17:31] Olivia
More messages.
[17:32] Olivia
"It's too much fun wrecking Fairy
Talers in over their heads."
[17:36] Olivia
"That first cat was worse than a paramecium."
[17:40] Olivia
HISHA says they want to play again. Weird.
[17:43] Hanako
Bring it on!
[17:44] Hanako
I know how the game works, now.
[17:46] Hanako
I'll tear them to shreds!
[17:47] Olivia
Okay, buy lots of lollipops.
[17:50] Olivia
Donuts work as shields, so let's buy three.
[17:51] Hanako
But donuts have holes in the
middle... Is that safe?!
[17:53] Olivia
All right!
SIGN Three, two, one, start!
SIGN Start!
[17:56] Olivia
Here we go!
[17:59] Olivia
Wait, Hanako, what are you shooting at?
[18:01] Hanako
Wait, wait, I don't know the controls!
[18:03] Hanako
I can't stop!
[18:04] Olivia
You aren't hitting anyone!
[18:06] Hanako
Wait, I stopped.
[18:07] Hanako
Am I out of ammo?
[18:10] Hanako
I got hit first again!
[18:12] Kasumi
Hold on, I'll do something with the candy!
[18:14] Olivia
Kasumi, use your scope to find the enemy.
[18:16] Kasumi
H-How?
[18:17] Olivia
That chikuwa fish cake is your scope.
[18:19] Kasumi
Oh, I see.
[18:20] Kasumi
I think I saw them from over there.
[18:22] Olivia
Oh yeah, there's something there.
[18:24] Kasumi
But it's so small, I don't know what's what.
[18:26] Olivia
You can zoom in with your mouse wheel.
[18:28] Kasumi
Got it.
[18:29] Kasumi
Zoom...
[18:31] Kasumi
Gross!
[18:32] Olivia
They've totally ditched
short range for long range,
[18:34] Olivia
and they have a really good sniper
with the pervy Froggy-san!
[18:38] Girl A
They had the name Pastimers
Club, so I thought maybe...
[18:42] Girl B
I guess it really was the Pastimers Club.
[18:44] Girl A
They're so bad, too.
[18:46] Girl A
The president's fingers, though...
[18:48] Girl B
She's always impressive to see.
[18:51] President
It's been a long time since I've
lost my ability to play shogi.
[18:55] President
Enomoto, will I ever hold
a shogi piece again?
[19:02] Girl A
Please...
[19:03] Girl A
You'll get better.
I believe in you, President.
[19:05] President
This is all the Pastimers Club's fault.
[19:10] President
Revenge shall be mine.
[19:15] President
Time to checkmate and take
their King in this world, too.
[19:20] Girl A
Yes, President!
[19:22] Olivia
I lost again!
[19:24] Olivia
Their team is too good.
[19:26] Olivia
What to do?
[19:27] Olivia
HISHA wants to play again.
[19:29] Olivia
Want to play a third game?
[19:29] Hanako
I already deleted the app.
[19:31] Hanako
I'm good.
[19:31] Kasumi
Me, too.
SIGN Asobi Asobase
SIGN Paper Wars
SIGN Paper Wars
SIGN Rules Choose your territories on a large sheet of paper. Draw a princess in the center of each territory, and surround her with weapons (anything goes). If you convince your opponent that they don't stand a chance, you win!
[19:43] Maeda
Hanako-sama, I came only
to deliver an umbrella.
[19:47] Maeda
Is it acceptable that I've joined?
[19:49] Hanako
I wanted another player anyway.
[19:51] Hanako
Okay, then.
[19:53] Hanako
Let's start the game!
[19:57] Olivia
What's this?
[19:58] Hanako
It's a cannon!
[19:59] Olivia
Okay, next.
[20:02] Hanako
What's this?
[20:04] Olivia
A shield to protect me against the cannon.
[20:06] Olivia
It can protect against anything.
[20:08] Hanako
I see.
[20:09] Hanako
You're starting strong.
[20:11] Maeda
Okay, I'm next.
[20:14] Hanako
What's that creepy shit?!
[20:15] Maeda
Th-This is the most powerful monster.
[20:18] Maeda
It can triple the cannon's output.
[20:20] Maeda
It can destroy about half of
Olivia's shield. Probably.
[20:24] Kasumi
I'm next.
[20:27] Kasumi
I-It's a knight.
[20:29] Hanako
You're so good at drawing.
[20:31] Hanako
Next...
[20:34] Olivia
What's this?
[20:36] Hanako
I played it already.
[20:38] Hanako
Maybe it was too soon.
[20:40] Hanako
The strongest creature in the world...
[20:41] Hanako
Mister Man!
[20:42] Olivia
H-How is he the strongest?
[20:45] Hanako
Um...
[20:48] Hanako
He's super strong!
[20:49] Hanako
He can... petrify? With his eyes.
[20:53] Hanako
And so he's going to petrify your knight!
[20:57] Kasumi
Aw...
[20:58] Olivia
All right.
[21:01] Hanako
What's this?
[21:02] Olivia
A wizard.
[21:04] Olivia
He can deflect curses and stuff.
[21:05] Olivia
And now Mister Man's petrified!
[21:09] Kasumi
My most powerful Mister Man's defeated!
[21:11] Maeda
Allow me, Hanako-sama.
[21:17] Hanako
Seriously, what is that parasite thing?!
[21:20] Maeda
But this is the most powerful...
[21:22] Maeda
Like...
[21:23] Maeda
It's the best at everything.
[21:25] Maeda
It's performing the Mister
Man recovery ritual.
[21:27] Hanako
Yay, Mister Man is back!
[21:33] Hanako
What's this?
[21:34] Kasumi
A speech.
[21:35] Kasumi
He can appease the enemy
and bring him over to my side.
[21:41] Kasumi
What's this?
[21:42] Hanako
Tissue paper handouts, but
with earplugs instead!
[21:44] Hanako
The speech is disabled by the earplugs!
[21:47] Kasumi
Give us something good, Olivia-san.
[21:50] Olivia
Yeah.
[21:52] Hanako
Is that a dinosaur with wings?
[21:54] Olivia
It's a dragon!
[21:55] Olivia
A dragon!
[21:55] Olivia
It defeats the enemy in a single blow.
[21:58] Hanako
Damn it!
[21:59] Maeda
Allow me, Hanako-sama.
[22:02] Hanako
Is that the only thing you can draw?!
[22:04] Maeda
It's the most powerful monster...
[22:05] Hanako
You already said that!
[22:07] Olivia
How do we make this end?