Season 1 1 - Equivalent Exchange | Cheap Thrills | Pleasure Seekers | The Kind Pervert Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Equivalent Exchange [01:38] (Flashback) Kasumi     I lost again. [01:40] (Flashback) Kasumi     You're so good, Onee-chan. [01:44] (Flashback) Oneechan     Okay, the loser has to go buy ice cream. [01:48] Kasumi     My older sister would always beat me     playing games and make me do stuff. [01:55] Kasumi     So I hated having fun. [02:01] Hanako     Start with rock! [02:02] Hanako     Rock-paper-scissors! [02:04] Hanako     Look the other way! [02:05] Hanako     Rock-paper-scissors! [02:06] Hanako     Look the other way! [02:07] Hanako     Rock-paper-scissors! [02:07] Kasumi     So annoying. [02:08] Hanako     Look the other way! [02:08] Hanako     It's a draw! [02:08] Kasumi     What are those two doing, anyway? [02:09] Hanako     Rock-paper-scissors! [02:10] Hanako     It's a draw! [02:11] Hanako     Look the other way! [02:12] Hanako     Rock-paper-scissors! [02:13] Hanako     It's a draw! [02:14] Hanako     Look the other way! [02:16] Hanako     No, that's not the rule! [02:18] Hanako     I keep telling you, if you look     the other way, you're safe! [02:22] Hanako     And a flick to the forehead, not a slap! SIGN    Hm? SIGN    Again, with your "I don't know Japanese" pose! SIGN    I'm done being your guide! [02:31] Olivia     Wait up. [02:32] Olivia     Don't just abandon a transfer     student from America. [02:35] Kasumi     Oh, right we have a new classmate today. [02:36] Olivia     You were asked by your homeroom     teacher to do it, weren't you? [02:38] Hanako     Just because I happened     to be sitting next to you! [02:40] Olivia     Let's play look-the-other-way one more time. [02:43] Hanako     No way, you're going to slap me again! [02:45] Olivia     Japanese pastimes are so fun! [02:48] Kasumi     Um... [02:50] Kasumi     Kindly shut up. [02:54] Hanako     S-Sorry. [02:56] Olivia     Sorry. [02:57] Olivia     Who's she? [02:58] Hanako     I haven't talked to her much. [03:03] Olivia     Let's play look-the-other-way together. [03:06] Kasumi     No thanks. [03:07] Olivia     Please? Just one time. [03:10] Olivia     Just the tip. Just the tip. [03:12] Hanako     Just the tip? How far in? [03:14] Kasumi     No. [03:15] Olivia     I'll settle with this one, then. [03:19] Hanako     Er... Please, play her, just once. [03:23] Hanako     That'll be enough to satisfy her. [03:27] Kasumi     Just once, then. [03:29] Olivia     Sweet. [03:32] Hanako     She's set on slapping her. [03:33] Hanako     Rock-paper-scissors! [03:35] Hanako     Look the other way! [03:41] Olivia     Uh-oh. [03:44] Hanako     What just happened? SIGN    On me [03:46] Olivia     Hey, you got away! SIGN    Whoosh [03:47] Hanako     Yay. [03:48] Olivia     U-Um... Sorry... [03:51] Kasumi     Rock-paper-scissors. [03:53] Kasumi     Look the other way. [03:59] Kasumi     This is real look-the-other-way. [04:04] Hanako     Uh... Are you okay? [04:06] Hanako     Also, what she said is true. [04:09] Hanako     That's what you get. SIGN    Faculty Room [04:13] Kasumi     Pardon me. [04:16] Hanako     Slow down, Olivia. [04:18] Hanako     Wait up. [04:18] Kasumi     Um... [04:21] Kasumi     Can I talk to you about something? SIGN    Midterm Test English SIGN    Nomura Kasumi [04:28] Hanako     Two percent?! [04:28] Hanako     You're totally the     read-books-after-school type! [04:31] Hanako     Two percent?! [04:31] Kasumi     The truth is, I'm bad at English. [04:35] Kasumi     Hey, you're American, right?     Could you please teach me English? [04:39] Kasumi     You owe me for playing     look-the-other-way with you. [04:42] Hanako     Dude, this chick's kind of threatening. [04:44] Olivia     Um... Well... [04:48] Olivia     Actually, my parents are foreigners,     but I was born and raised in Japan. [04:54] Olivia     I was just messing with her,     pretending to be American. [04:58] Olivia     I couldn't help it, she just looks so dumb. [05:01] Olivia     And in fact, I can't speak a word of English. [05:05] Olivia     Maybe I'll tell her. [05:10] Olivia     Nope, not happening. [05:12] Olivia     Um... [05:14] Olivia     Oh, I'm really interested in     the pastimes of other cultures. [05:19] Kasumi     Pastimes, you say? [05:21] Olivia     All right, I can turn her down now. [05:24] Olivia     I want to learn about what     the Japanese do for fun, [05:26] Olivia     so I don't have time to teach you. [05:28] Kasumi     In that case, I'll teach you how we have fun. [05:31] Kasumi     But you'll have to teach me English. [05:37] Olivia     Please teach me English. [05:40] Hanako     Why?! [05:41] ---     Asobi Asobase! SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Cheap Thrills [05:49] Text     Dawn is the best time of a spring day. [05:53] Text     The white light creeping over the mountains, [05:57] Text     the purple-tinted clouds     splashing over them... [06:00] Olivia     Hullo, what Ackbar Bono! [06:03] Olivia     Yo! Yo! [06:04] Olivia     Silkworm narwhaller [06:05] Olivia     Yum, Maggie, wow! [06:06] Olivia     Scottie? [06:07] Olivia     Alkaline! [06:08] Olivia     Hacky sacky digital c'mon! [06:10] Olivia     Hold your socks, Tania's picking tarps! [06:13] Sensei     All right, Olivia-san. [06:15] Sensei     Thank you very much. [06:17] Sensei     But why is your Japanese so broken? SIGN    Staff Office [06:23] Sensei     Weren't you born and raised in Japan? [06:26] Olivia     Yes. [06:27] Sensei     You got 90 percent in Japanese     on the transfer exam, didn't you? [06:31] Olivia     Yes. [06:31] Sensei     In fact, you got around     twenty percent in English. [06:34] Olivia     You didn't need to mention that. [06:35] Sensei     Sheesh. [06:36] Sensei     Talk normally from now on, please. [06:38] Olivia     Okay. [06:39] Olivia     Not happening. [06:44] Hanako     You're late. [06:45] Hanako     Let's have lunch already. [06:47] Olivia     Sorry, sorry. [06:48] Hanako     Oh no, I was picking at the     sides, and now I only have rice. [06:52] Hanako     I'll ask for some of hers. [06:53] Hanako     What's for lunch? [06:54] Olivia     Sandwich. [06:55] Hanako     Can you give me the ham? [06:57] Olivia     I don't wanna. [06:58] Kasumi     Um... [06:59] Kasumi     Teach me English, please. [07:03] Olivia     Shit. [07:05] Olivia     I haven't studied at all. [07:07] Olivia     I'm having lunch right now. [07:10] Kasumi     You mean the two slices of     bread you're holding together? [07:13] Hanako     Thanks for the ham. [07:14] Kasumi     I have ham, if you want some. [07:16] Olivia     Where did you pull that ham out of? [07:18] Olivia     H-Ham isn't enough. [07:20] Kasumi     I'll teach you our pastimes, too. [07:22] Kasumi     So please, teach me English. [07:24] Narrator     And then what happened? [07:27] Hanako     So what are we doing? [07:28] Kasumi     It's our first time, so I thought maybe     an easy one that'll give us a thrill. [07:38] Olivia     Uh... [07:40] Olivia     This is bad news. [07:42] Kasumi     This cheap thrill is a huge hit with     middle schoolers and high schoolers. [07:46] Olivia     She's just talking out of her     ass because I'm a foreigner! [07:48] Hanako     Oh, how about we make it a challenge     where every time you lose, [07:51] Hanako     you have to teach her some English? [07:53] Kasumi     A challenge? [07:55] Kasumi     No! [07:56] Olivia     It's not safe, ma'am. [07:59] Hanako     Are you chickening out? [08:00] Olivia     N-Not at all! [08:02] Kasumi     I might have a chance     if she's chickening out. [08:04] Kasumi     Okay. [08:05] Kasumi     Let's do it. [08:06] Kasumi     How about one pass each round? [08:09] Hanako     Okay. [08:18] Olivia     This kid's whack. [08:20] Olivia     Wow. [08:24] Kasumi     You're up next. [08:28] Kasumi     It's dangerous, but failure isn't an option! [08:34] Hanako     Sh-She's fast, too! [08:38] Olivia     I kind of grazed it. [08:40] Hanako     You were both fast. [08:42] Hanako     You were both about the same.     I couldn't tell who won. [08:45] Hanako     Okay, this time... [08:47] Hanako     Do it with a compass! [08:49] Olivia     What is wrong with you?! [08:51] Kasumi     V-Very well. [08:53] Olivia     Seriously?! [09:00] Olivia     What speed. [09:01] Kasumi     Okay, next. [09:03] Olivia     There're holes on the desk. [09:06] Hanako     Don't worry. [09:07] Hanako     Even if you mess up, you'll just gain the     ability to breathe through your finger. [09:11] Olivia     Breathe? You mean I'll have bored through it. [09:17] Olivia     Bye-bye, my fingers! [09:21] Hanako     She's... [09:22] Hanako     She's fast! [09:23] Hanako     No, wait! [09:24] Hanako     She's nowhere near her fingers! [09:30] Olivia     Wh-What should I teach you? [09:34] Kasumi     Let's see... [09:35] Kasumi     How about you teach me some     casual American conversation? [09:41] Olivia     Dunno. [09:43] Olivia     G-Give me chocolate. [09:47] Kasumi     That's the English that Japanese people     used to use towards American soldiers. [09:51] Olivia     Americans eat chocolate, too. [09:54] Kasumi     I'm sure, but you don't beg for     it on a daily basis, do you? [09:57] Olivia     We beg every day. [10:00] Hanako     Really? [10:01] Hanako     I never knew. [10:02] Olivia     I'm sorry, Americans! [10:03] Kasumi     That's good to know. [10:05] Olivia     Whew! [10:06] Kasumi     I'll look up some good pastimes. [10:09] Olivia     Nothing dangerous, please. [10:12] ---     Asobi Asobase! SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Pleasure Seekers [10:27] Sensei     You're amazing, Honda-san! [10:30] Sensei     Keep it up, and you'll make it straight     to the nationals at the game next Sunday. [10:35] Hanako     Sensei, thank you. [10:38] Hanako     But, Sensei... [10:41] Hanako     That's not why I joined the soft tennis club. [10:45] A     How's the Sunday thing coming along? [10:47] B     It's all good. [10:48] B     I set us up with some people     from a boys' school. [10:51] A     Bring me some high-quality ones, face-wise. [10:54] B     Don't worry, they're all hot. [10:56] B     You won't be disappointed. [10:58] Hanako     U-Um... [10:59] Hanako     What's going on next Sunday? [11:00] A     Hey, Honda-san. [11:01] A     You're so amazing, making     it onto the starting lineup. [11:04] A     Good luck at the tournament. [11:05] B     We can't wear our uniforms at the tournament, [11:07] B     so we'll wear them for you at the mixer. [11:09] Hanako     S-Sure. [11:13] Hanako     Sensei... [11:14] Sensei     Yes? What is it? [11:15] Hanako     I'm quitting the club. [11:18] Sensei     Wait, what? [11:20] Sensei     Where'd that come from? [11:21] Narrator     And then what happened? [11:23] Olivia     So, you actually quit? [11:28] Hanako     She doesn't get it. [11:30] Hanako     I didn't want to win tournaments or anything. [11:33] Hanako     The reason I joined the soft tennis club... [11:36] Hanako     is because I thought I could     be one of the popular kids. [11:41] Hanako     But nope. [11:42] Hanako     Popular kids are popular     before they even join. [11:45] Hanako     There's something different about me. [11:47] Hanako     I can't fit in. [11:49] Hanako     They're all carnivores in that world. [11:51] Hanako     A herbivore like me just     gets chewed apart, you know? [11:55] Hanako     The substitute girl was super     happy when I quit, too. [11:58] Hanako     Like, it was for the better? I guess? [11:59] Olivia     Wh-When is she going     to stop talking about that? [12:02] Olivia     L-Lucky you, though. [12:05] Olivia     I want to join a club. [12:08] Hanako     Aren't there any easy popular kids club? [12:11] Olivia     What's an easy popular kid? [12:13] Kasumi     Um... [12:15] Kasumi     Why don't we make a club? [12:18] Olivia     Her again! [12:19] Olivia     I don't know if we can make one. [12:22] Kasumi     In fact, I've already talked     to the teacher about it. [12:24] Kasumi     You and I are the members. [12:26] Olivia     What? What? [12:27] Olivia     Wait, what the hell? [12:28] Hanako     What kind of club? [12:29] Kasumi     English Language Study Club. [12:30] Olivia     English Language Test? [12:31] Kasumi     I want to qualify for Class 5 someday. [12:33] Olivia     I don't think I need to     study any more English. [12:38] Kasumi     But... [12:39] Olivia     I wouldn't mind joining if it's     something other than English. [12:43] Kasumi     Then I'll think about     calling it something else. [12:45] Olivia     Saved! [12:47] Hanako     I want to join, too. [12:49] Kasumi     You, too, Hanako? [12:50] Hanako     Give it a popular name. [12:52] Kasumi     She's still on about that. [12:54] Kasumi     Manga Club? [12:55] Hanako     Were you listening to me just now?! [12:57] Kasumi     I mean, those people actually     have lots of meet ups and events. [13:01] Kasumi     I think they're pretty happy in real life. [13:02] Hanako     That's not it! [13:04] Hanako     Something that seems full     of people having fun. [13:08] Olivia     L-Like Surfing or Diving? [13:11] Hanako     Yeah, yeah! [13:12] Kasumi     I'm pretty sure they do     proper water sport stuff. [13:15] Olivia     Hell, no! SIGN    Finally shook hands with a goblin shark at 1200 meters under [13:16] Olivia     A proper diving club might     be something like this. [13:20] Olivia     But there's no way these ones     are in it for the sport. SIGN    Best Buddies <3 [13:24] Olivia     Actually, the proper ones, by     her standards, would be dead. [13:27] Hanako     Damn it! [13:28] Hanako     I don't approve of anyone who     doesn't do sports properly! [13:32] Olivia     Was this girl always such a howler? [13:34] Kasumi     Th-Then... [13:36] Kasumi     How about a Pastime Club? [13:38] Kasumi     Especially since you like     pastimes, Olivia-san. [13:40] Olivia     Dude... [13:41] Olivia     I'm going to end up having to teach     English every time I lose, aren't I? [13:45] Olivia     Although the truth is that I'm     starting to like this kind of thing. [13:51] Olivia     But I don't want to admit     it either, you know? [13:56] Olivia     U-Um... [13:58] Kasumi     I've already made so many compromises. [14:00] Kasumi     What's your problem? [14:02] Kasumi     I don't know what you're     demanding, Olivia-san. [14:05] Olivia     W-Wait... [14:06] Olivia     Why is she suddenly so pissed? [14:10] Kasumi     Let's settle this over a thumb war, then. [14:13] Kasumi     If I win, it's Pastime Club. [14:15] Kasumi     If you win, you can choose     whatever you'd like. [14:18] Olivia     Fine. [14:20] Olivia     You idiot, I totally have an advantage,     with how long my fingers are! [14:25] Hanako     Okay. [14:27] Hanako     Ready... go. [14:33] Hanako     So dull. [14:35] Olivia     Now! [14:39] Olivia     Huh? [14:40] Olivia     Did her thumb really just bend like that? [14:44] Olivia     What's she aiming for? [14:47] Olivia     The base! [14:48] Olivia     I have to dodge it at all costs! [14:53] Olivia     Oy. [14:55] Kasumi     One... [14:57] Kasumi     Two... [14:58] Kasumi     Three... [15:00] Kasumi     Four... [15:01] Olivia     Ow, ow... [15:02] Kasumi     Five... [15:02] Olivia     Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow... [15:04] Kasumi     Six... [15:06] Kasumi     Seven... [15:06] ---     That hurts! [15:08] Kasumi     Eight... [15:10] Kasumi     Nine... [15:11] Olivia     I give, I give! [15:11] Kasumi     Ten. [15:12] Olivia     Fine. [15:15] Olivia     Let's call it the Pastime Club. [15:17] Hanako     She sounded super native saying "that hurts." [15:20] Hanako     Hey... [15:21] Hanako     "Pastime Club" sounds a bit lame, so... [15:24] Hanako     Let's call it the Pastimers Club. [15:27] Olivia     How is that any different? [15:29] ---     Does it really need to be "pastimers"? [15:31] Hanako     "Pastimers" makes us sound more like popular     Shibuya pleasure seekers, doesn't it? [15:35] Olivia     It actually makes me think of jobless old     guys betting on horses or playing mahjong. [15:39] Kasumi     F-Fine. [15:41] Kasumi     Let's go with that. [15:42] Olivia     Are you sure?! SIGN    Pastimers Club [15:44] Narrator     And so the Pastimers Club,     also known as the Pass Club, [15:48] Narrator     was quietly established     in the spare classroom. [15:51] A     They actually study pleasure seekers? [15:54] B     Jeez, that's so gloomy. [15:56] ---     Asobi Asobase! SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    The Kind Pervert [16:03] Hanako     Olivia. [16:05] Hanako     Let's go to the club room. [16:07] Olivia     I'm going to take these hand-outs to     the staff room, so I'll be there later. [16:10] Hanako     Okay. [16:11] Hanako     Olivia's gotten good at Japanese, huh? [16:13] Kasumi     It's probably because     she's hanging out with us. [16:16] Olivia     Crap, I need to get better more gradually. [16:20] Narrator     And then what happened? [16:22] Olivia     What's today's pastime? [16:29] Olivia     What are they up to? [16:32] Olivia     What's this? [16:33] Hanako     Huh? [16:34] Hanako     I mean, it's hot, so... [16:35] Kasumi     So Hanako-san wanted to set     up a pool in the club room. [16:38] Hanako     Yeah. [16:39] Olivia     That sounds dangerous, in more ways than one. [16:42] Hanako     Don't worry, we'll be careful. [16:43] Hanako     Come on, get in your swimsuit, Olivia. [16:45] Olivia     Stop, perv! [16:46] Olivia     Wait, I'll get changed. [16:51] Hanako     Oh yeah, I heard there's a foreign     brand of trunks that float in water. [16:56] Hanako     Do you think it's true? [16:58] Olivia     Do trunks float? [16:59] Olivia     Wouldn't water get in? [17:01] Hanako     You know how people used     to go on vacations by sea? [17:04] Hanako     So apparently there were some brands     of trunks that worked as swim tubes. [17:09] Hanako     I heard someone survived the     Titanic crash because of it, too. [17:13] Kasumi     You're so knowledgeable, Hanako-san. [17:16] Hanako     I figured we should give it a try here. [17:19] Olivia     But I don't have trunks. [17:22] Kasumi     Especially not a foreign brand. [17:24] Hanako     I'll have my butler get us some, then. [17:26] Hanako     Hello? Maeda? [17:26] Kasumi     Wait, is Hanako rich? [17:27] Hanako     It's me, Hanako. Get me some trunks. [17:29] Hanako     The foreign brand that has with     the Japanese emblem-looking thing. [17:31] ---     All right, final match! [17:33] Kasumi     Wait, Hanako-san, maybe we     should do this normally. [17:36] Hanako     It's fine. [17:37] Hanako     Get on, Kasumi-san. [17:43] Hanako     I don't know, it's too shallow. [18:02] Kasumi     Um... [18:03] Kasumi     Could you please stop staring at my chest? [18:06] Hanako     Sorry. [18:07] Hanako     They're just so huge. [18:09] Kasumi     I've never seen anyone say that     with such a straight face. [18:12] Olivia     You're so busty, Kasumi. [18:15] Hanako     Yes. [18:16] Hanako     She's got huge boobs. [18:17] Hanako     But so what? [18:19] Hanako     Is a lady with big boobs     going to bring world peace? [18:22] Kasumi     Sorry, Hanako, I feel bad. [18:23] Olivia     How do you get them so big? [18:28] Kasumi     Genetics. [18:29] Hanako     I'mma go be born from a     big boobed lady's womb! [18:31] Hanako     I'll see you in a future life! [18:31] Olivia     Hanako, no! [18:33] Hanako     Please, let me die! [18:34] Hanako     My mommy in this life is a washboard! [18:37] Kasumi     H-Hey, there's another way to get     them bigger, besides genetics. [18:42] Kasumi     You get fat. [18:44] Hanako     That's pretty easy. [18:45] Kasumi     It is. [18:46] Kasumi     It's not too bad, if you have     strong knees and organs. [18:49] Olivia     Wait, what degree of     obesity are you talking?! [18:52] Olivia     My mom's got an hourglass figure. [18:55] Olivia     I have lots to look forward to. [18:58] Hanako     Your type gets old early. [19:01] Olivia     Wh-What an asshole. [19:03] Hanako     I found a good pizza place the other day. [19:07] Hanako     Let's go there sometime. My treat. [19:09] Olivia     Nah, I don't want to impose. [19:11] Olivia     You might be trying to get me     fat, but I won't fall for it. [19:17] Hanako     What are you talking about? [19:18] Hanako     I'm not trying to get you     to look like Jabba *** Hutt. [19:23] Olivia     Then what's with the extremely specific     visual I'm seeing behind you? [19:26] Olivia     Take this, Hanako! [19:36] Sensei     Sounds like they're having fun. [19:40] Sensei     I-I have a bad feeling about this. [19:44] Sensei     Um... Girls? [19:47] Sensei     There's something seeping through. [19:48] Sensei     What are you... [19:49] Hanako     Shoot! [19:50] Kasumi     I don't want him to see     us in school swimsuits. [19:52] Sensei     May I open the door? [19:53] Hanako     W-W-Wait, Sensei, don't open it! [19:55] Sensei     But... [19:56] Hanako     L-Listen, Sensei... [19:58] Hanako     I got this. [20:00] Hanako     Olivia-chan couldn't hold it in. [20:05] Sensei     She couldn't hold it in? [20:07] Sensei     But it's clear... [20:12] Sensei     Right. [20:13] Sensei     When in doubt, find out. [20:16] Sensei     Only one truth prevails. [20:24] Sensei     I tried licking it, but     it just tastes like water. [20:27] Hanako     What is this guy doing?! [20:29] Sensei     I'm really saddened that you lied to me. [20:35] Hanako     S-Sorry. [20:39] Hanako     That's not Olivia's pee. [20:42] Hanako     It's just water. [20:44] Sensei     I see. [20:46] Olivia     I-Is it just me, or was     he disappointed just now? [20:50] Sensei     I'm really happy that you told me the truth. [20:54] Sensei     Thank you, girls. [20:57] Sensei     Continue being honest. [20:59] Hanako     Okay, Sensei. [21:02] Sensei     Be sure to clean up the water later. [21:04] Hanako     Okay. [21:07] Olivia     He's a good person. [21:10] Hanako     Are you serious?! [21:11] Hanako     I was just playing along so he'd     go home without a confrontation! [21:14] Hanako     What he did was super gross! SIGN    Asobi Asobase [22:48] ---     Asobi Asobase! SIGN    Japanese Pastimes, Please [22:59] Olivia     What shall we do? [23:00] Hanako     What to do? [23:02] Narrator     Daruma Otoshi. SIGN    Daruma Otoshi [23:04] Narrator     A game — or rather, a hunt —     played primarily by popular girls. SIGN    Strait-laced boys [23:11] Narrator     The winner is the girl who,     at a mixer or drinking party, [23:17] Narrator     manages to seduce and drive mad a     strait-laced boy with no interest in women, SIGN    Blonde Hair and Blue Eyes [23:20] Narrator     with her sheer womanly wiles. [23:23] Narrator     There are no particular rules     or dos or do-nots to this game. SIGN    Wealth [23:30] [SONG] ---     Misandrist [23:30] Kasumi     Um... what do I do? [23:31] Kasumi     Um... [23:32] Kasumi     Dudes are so gross, damn it! SIGN    Asobi Asobase [23:38] ---     Asobi Asobase! 2 - Killing Time | Friendship Game | The Witch Trials | Non-title Match Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Killing Time [01:34] President     Sh-Should I become the     student council president, [01:37] President     I will c-c-commit to providing the best     school life possible for our students. [01:46] President     P-Please and th-thank you. [01:51] Person A     Thank you. [01:52] President     I couldn't talk straight. [01:53] Person A     Next, we will move on to campaign speeches. [01:54] President     It's hopeless, I'm definitely going to lose. [01:56] President     Her speech just now was so confident. [01:58] President     She got so much applause. [02:00] President     She's pretty and outgoing and     the other students love her. [02:04] President     I don't stand a chance. [02:06] President     Why did I even run? [02:09] President     I wanted to be in the spotlight just     once, but maybe I was wanting too much. [02:15] Person B     Have you given up already? [02:17] Person B     I haven't done my campaign speech yet. [02:20] Person A     Next... SIGN    Pastimers Club [02:23] Narrator     These are the events soon     after Pass Club was formed. [02:29] Hanako     I'm so bored. [02:32] Hanako     It's been a week since we made Pass     Club, but nothing's happened so far. [02:37] Olivia     Sh-She's turning into Dali's Clock again. [02:40] Hanako     The room's empty. [02:41] Hanako     There's nothing to play with. [02:43] Hanako     We don't ever go to Shibuya. [02:45] Olivia     Why don't you just go, then? [02:47] Hanako     What is this, are we supposed to just dry up? [02:49] Olivia     W-Want to play kendama? [02:51] Hanako     You like kendama, don't you, Olivia? [02:54] Hanako     Thanks. [02:56] Text     Omikoshi. SIGN    Omikoshi SIGN    Airplane [02:58] Text     Airplane. SIGN    High [03:01] Text     High Noon. SIGN    High Noon [03:03] Hanako     We've only been doing     kendama this whole week. [03:06] Olivia     She's gotten ridiculously good. [03:11] Kasumi     It looks like a real club. [03:14] Kasumi     Sorry I'm late. [03:15] Hanako     Where were you? [03:17] Kasumi     At the staff office, registering the club. [03:18] Hanako     You hadn't done that yet? [03:20] Olivia     How did it go? [03:21] Kasumi     They rejected it. [03:24] Hanako     Why? [03:25] Kasumi     We can't make a club with just three people. [03:28] Kasumi     So I asked if we could at     least make it a circle, [03:31] Kasumi     but the school council president was against     it, saying the activities were unclear. [03:36] Hanako     There's nothing we can do about that, then. [03:38] Kasumi     We were supposed to get 10,000     yen in funds, even for a circle. [03:43] Hanako     Let's negotiate! [03:44] Hanako     This is war! SIGN    Student Council Room [03:49] President     How can I help you? [03:51] Olivia     That's the president? [03:53] Kasumi     I'm here to ask about circle     registration for Pass Club. [03:57] President     Pass Club. [03:58] President     Right. [04:00] President     Let's see... [04:01] President     The Pastimers Club. [04:03] President     Say what? [04:05] President     What do you do in the club? [04:06] Hanako     We become popular kids. [04:09] President     Popular kids. [04:11] President     What the hell is this kid talking about? [04:13] Olivia     That's not true. [04:14] Olivia     We pass time. [04:16] President     Huh. [04:17] President     Just pass time? [04:20] President     Are they messing with me? [04:21] Kasumi     No. [04:22] Kasumi     It's a more proper club. [04:24] Kasumi     We study English. [04:26] President     Huh. [04:27] President     English. [04:29] President     What happened to passing time? [04:31] President     Let's see... [04:33] President     Do it at home. [04:35] Hanako     President! [04:36] Hanako     Shall I grovel? [04:37] Hanako     If you want me to grovel, I'll     kiss the floor with my forehead! [04:41] Hanako     I swear, we'll make better     use of the funds than on [04:44] Hanako     the new national stadium construction! [04:47] Olivia     Stop, Hanako. [04:48] President     Umm... [04:50] Kasumi     We take the club seriously. [04:55] Kasumi     What issue do you have with us? [05:00] President     These eyes... [05:02] President     They're the same as the girl who     did that campaign speech for me. [05:06] President     All right. [05:08] President     Then why don't we decide     over a game of Othello? [05:10] President     If you win, we'll grant you     the 10,000 in club funds. [05:14] President     Let's play best of three on a 6x6 board     so we can find the winner quickly. [05:17] Hanako     Really?! [05:18] Olivia     You're so kind, President. [05:21] Narrator     One loss. SIGN    Lost all her pieces [05:22] Narrator     Two losses. [05:23] Olivia     Hanako... [05:25] Hanako     D-Don't worry. [05:26] Hanako     I'm actually pretty good at Othello. [05:28] President     It's kind of awkward to tell them it's over     since they've already lost two matches. [05:33] President     W-Would you like to move first or second? [05:36] Hanako     First! [05:36] Olivia     Good luck, Hanako-san! [05:40] Hanako     I've never played 6x6 before, but     there's a trick to winning Othello. [05:45] Hanako     The first person to break     the inner line loses. [05:48] Hanako     And you take the corners. [05:50] Hanako     That way... [05:51] Hanako     Wait, I'm out of hands?! [05:53] President     There's nothing to say that the first     person who leaves the inner line loses. [05:58] President     And you're better off not flipping     too many pieces until the mid-game. [06:01] President     You'll run out of pieces     to flip in the mid-game. [06:04] President     Also... [06:05] President     As long as you don't mess up, 6x6     strongly favors the second player. [06:17] Hanako     I wanted the 10,000 yen! [06:19] Olivia     That president was amazing, though. [06:22] Olivia     She really was like a proper president. [06:24] Hanako     Not really. [06:25] Hanako     She had a pretty bad chance after     her own speech at the election. [06:28] Kasumi     That's true. [06:29] Kasumi     I remember the vice president     said in her campaign speech... [06:33] VP     I don't really care to tell you     what's so nice about the president. [06:40] VP     All that really matters is the results. [06:44] VP     You don't know until you try. [06:47] VP     So all I can say is... [06:51] VP     If you don't vote for her, be careful when     you're out at night and of what you eat. [07:04] Hanako     That was what won her the election. [07:05] Kasumi     I know, I didn't want to die yet. [07:08] Olivia     That's intimidation! [07:09] President     And since I won the election, I was     hoping to be in the spotlight, but... [07:13] President     Being the student council president     was a lot more drab than I'd expected. [07:17] President     I wonder if those three     will come hang out again. SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Friendship Game [07:25] Sensei     I'm handing back the English tests. [07:29] Sensei     Togawa-san. [07:30] Togawa     Yes. [07:30] Sensei     Nakata-san. [07:31] Nakata     Yes. [07:32] Sensei     Nomura-san. [07:33] Kasumi     Yes. SIGN    Nomura Kasumi [07:36] Kasumi     What the hell? [07:38] Kasumi     I'm hanging out with Olivia-san, and     yet my grade's dropping even further. [07:43] Kasumi     Why? [07:45] Kasumi     But come to think of it, Olivia-san     hasn't taught me English at all. [07:50] Kasumi     Oh yeah, when I was working on the     English handouts in the club room... [07:55] (Flashback) Hanako     Kasumi-san, that part's wrong. [07:58] (Flashback) Hanako     That's past tense, so it's     "did you," not "do you." [08:01] (Flashback) Hanako     Also, you wrote "geri" instead of "girl." [08:03] (Flashback) Kasumi     Th-Thank you. [08:05] Kasumi     Hanako-san taught me that,     but Olivia-san didn't say anything. [08:11] Kasumi     Olivia-san didn't say anything. SIGN    Pastimers Club [08:15] Hanako     Okay, Olivia, I'll start. [08:17] Hanako     I finally get to play the new third     edition of Boys' School Wars! [08:22] Hanako     My turn! [08:23] Hanako     Gonda of the Sumo Club! SIGN    Sumo Club - Gonda      Giant Student Effect: Shove      Deal 4 damage to enemy regardless of their skills.     Cannot attack when "Hot Pot" card is active.      Sumo wrestlers are very sensitive about seniority.     Be extra careful when going to karaoke with him. [08:25] Hanako     Deals 4 damage with Shove! [08:27] Hanako     And I'll summon Kamiya of the Tea Club,     and activate Folded Leg Endurance! SIGN    Tea Club - Kamiya      Proper Student     Effect: Folded Leg Endurance     Resist one attack (up to 10) [08:32] Hanako     End turn! [08:33] Hanako     Okay, Olivia. [08:34] Olivia     What am I supposed to do? [08:36] Olivia     She just taught me the rules. [08:40] Olivia     What do I do? [08:42] Olivia     Hey, he has really high damage output. [08:44] Olivia     For my turn, umm... SIGN    Blue-eyed Delinquent      Delinquent Student Effect: Summon Gals with a Wink      Take up to three Gal cards from the deck and add to your hand.     If there is at least one Gal card in play, the Protagonist Attribute is activated.     The Protagonist Attribute triples Attack and increases Defense five-fold until the end of the battle.      "There, there, you were lonely, too, huh?" he said, as he cradled the kitten. [08:49] Olivia     I'm playing Summon Gals with a     Wink with Blue-eyed Delinquent. [08:53] Hanako     Olivia! [08:55] Hanako     That's the legendary ultimate card! [08:57] Hanako     That thing costs a premium! [08:59] Olivia     Really? [09:00] Olivia     I got forced to buy it     at the convenience store. [09:02] Olivia     I never knew it was so valuable. [09:03] Hanako     Gimme! Please! [09:04] Hanako     You aren't interested in     this card game, are you? [09:06] Hanako     It's just a piece of scrap     paper to you, Olivia! [09:09] Hanako     Please, I'm begging you! [09:11] Hanako     I'll pay 143 yen for it! [09:13] Olivia     143 yen for a valuable card? [09:16] Kasumi     Hey, Olivia-san... [09:17] Olivia     Yes? [09:18] Hanako     What's up, Kasumi-san? [09:20] Hanako     Err... [09:21] Hanako     You look pretty serious. [09:23] Kasumi     U-Um... [09:26] Kasumi     Err... umm... [09:30] Kasumi     About English... [09:36] Kasumi     She looked away just now. [09:39] Kasumi     H-How did you do on your English test? [09:43] Hanako     Okay, I guess? [09:45] Hanako     I made some careless mistakes     and got 92 percent. [09:46] Kasumi     Wait, Hanako-san's smart? [09:48] Kasumi     Wh-What about you? [09:52] Olivia     Okay, I guess? [09:54] Kasumi     What did you get? [09:55] Olivia     I made some careless mistakes     and got 25 percent. [09:58] Kasumi     Err, that wouldn't be a careless mistake. [10:00] Hanako     Wait a second... [10:02] Hanako     Are you actually bad at English? [10:05] Olivia     N-No! [10:05] Hanako     Are you actually from     Europe rather than the US? [10:08] Hanako     Did you not speak much English? [10:10] Olivia     I-I want to say that's it, but I feel like     it's going to get even more complicated. [10:14] Olivia     N-No... [10:16] Kasumi     Were you lying to me? [10:19] Olivia     No! [10:20] Olivia     I wasn't lying to you! [10:22] Kasumi     Olivia? [10:22] Olivia     I wasn't lying to you, I was just messing! [10:26] Olivia     With Hanako! [10:28] Kasumi     But so you can't speak English, then? [10:35] Olivia     Would you want to stop hanging out     with me if I couldn't speak English? [10:45] Kasumi     Not at all. [10:47] Kasumi     We're already club buddies. [10:53] Olivia     Kasumi... [10:55] Kasumi     Olivia-san... [11:04] Hanako     Hey, can you ask that to me, too? [11:07] Olivia     Ask what? [11:08] Hanako     "Would you still want to hang out     with me if I couldn't speak English?" [11:11] Olivia     Hanako doesn't care about English. [11:14] Olivia     Of course she'd say yes. [11:17] Hanako     Would you still want to hang out     with me if I couldn't speak English? [11:22] Hanako     I had a feeling since part way through     Episode 1, but I stuck around. [11:26] Olivia     She's so patronizing! [11:28] Olivia     But whatever. [11:30] Olivia     I love you, too, Hanako. [11:32] Kasumi     Me, too. [11:33] Hanako     Come on, guys. [11:35] Hanako     Jeez, stop it. [11:36] Hanako     You're so needy. [11:51] Olivia     Let's have more fun together going forward. [11:54] Hanako     Yeah. SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    The Witch Trials [12:04] Sensei     Makeup is banned at our school. [12:06] Sensei     I'm confiscating these. [12:07] Girl     Okay. [12:09] Hanako     Stupid popular girls. [12:10] Hanako     I don't have any makeup. [12:13] Hanako     This doesn't hurt me one bit. [12:15] Hanako     Besides, you're just going to wreck     your skin wearing makeup at our age. [12:19] Hanako     It'll make a difference when we're thirty. [12:21] Hanako     When we're thirty! [12:23] Hanako     Watch this, you popular sluts. [12:26] Hanako     See how much of a good girl I am! [12:28] Sensei     Honda-san. [12:29] Hanako     Yes? [12:29] Sensei     What is this? SIGN    Boys' School Wars Official Fan Book SIGN    Pastimers Club [12:35] Hanako     That wretched bureaucrat! [12:37] Kasumi     Y-You just ended up exposing     how much of a nerd you are. [12:40] Olivia     Did they get confiscated? [12:41] Hanako     Yes! [12:42] Hanako     Oh yeah, how did you do it, Olivia? [12:44] Olivia     Huh? [12:45] Hanako     I mean... [12:46] Sensei     Olivia-san, your bag is empty. [12:49] Olivia     Yes. [12:50] Sensei     You haven't brought anything? [12:52] Olivia     I have not. [12:53] Olivia     I forgot everything. [12:56] Sensei     I see. [12:57] Sensei     You forgot, did you? [12:58] Sensei     Fair enough. [12:59] Olivia     Yes. [13:02] Hanako     Damn it, I should have done that, too. [13:07] Hanako     What about you, Kasumi-san? [13:08] Kasumi     I was fine. [13:10] Hanako     Your books, too? [13:11] Kasumi     I borrowed a book from the library. SIGN    Learn English Through Slang! [13:13] Hanako     You get a pass if it's from the library, huh? [13:15] Hanako     Let's lay our stuff out on our desks. [13:18] Olivia     That sounds fun. SIGN    Book Keys Transit pass Pen case Coin purse Glasses case Flip phone Textbooks Notebooks SIGN    Textbooks Notebooks Wallet Tissues Smartphone Transit pass Keys Pencil case Candies SIGN    Wallet Smartphone Textbooks Notebooks Comb Gum Lunch box Handkerchief Pen case [13:23] Hanako     Yup, found the devil's woven bag. [13:26] Hanako     My, my, what do we have here? [13:29] Hanako     Whose is this? [13:30] Olivia     Mine. [13:33] Hanako     This is yours, eh, Olivia-san? [13:35] Hanako     I have before me an implement for     tainting the minds of wholesome women, [13:39] Hanako     turning them into slts. [13:41] Olivia     Um... [13:42] Olivia     It's just a makeup pouch. [13:44] Hanako     A makeup pouch? [13:47] Hanako     You could be put on trial for carrying     such unwholesome bags of the devil, lady. [13:53] Kasumi     No... [13:54] Kasumi     Hanako-san's jealous that Olivia-san has*     popular girl stuff when she doesn't! [13:58] Hanako     Defendant, are you prepared     to confess your sins? [14:01] Olivia     I'm pretty sure this is moments     before my sentence, not my trial. [14:06] Olivia     I-I carry this for my studies. [14:11] Hanako     Continue. [14:13] Kasumi     She took it! [14:14] Olivia     Think about it. [14:16] Olivia     If you go to school wearing makeup,     you get told you're ridiculous. [14:19] Olivia     But when you graduate     and join the work force, [14:21] Olivia     you get told you're ridiculous     if you don't wear makeup. [14:23] Olivia     So how are you supposed to know how     to put on makeup when you go to work, [14:27] Olivia     if you hadn't done it     while you were in school? [14:29] Kasumi     Isn't that something you learn     while you're in college? [14:31] Olivia     What about people who find     work right after high school? [14:33] Olivia     Do they learn during spring break? [14:35] Olivia     Do you really think you can get that     good in the two weeks of spring break? [14:40] Olivia     Not a chance. [14:41] Olivia     That's why I'm secretly practicing my makeup, [14:44] Olivia     so that I don't have to     embarrass myself later. [14:47] Kasumi     We've heard her position. [14:49] Kasumi     What do you think, Hanako-san? [14:50] Hanako     Yup, yup. SIGN    Yup Yup [14:51] Kasumi     She's really into it. [14:52] Hanako     I see. [14:54] Hanako     So when we do makeup, it's strictly     only to learn adult skills [14:58] Hanako     so that we don't embarrass     ourselves when we're grown up. [15:01] Hanako     We aren't trying to attract guys,     so we're absolutely not being slts! [15:05] Hanako     Therefore, I, Hanako, shall     henceforth do makeup! [15:09] Olivia     You get it! [15:11] Kasumi     Olivia-san's getting good*     at handling Hanako-san. [15:14] Olivia     Why don't we practice     putting on makeup, then? [15:17] Hanako     Okay! [15:19] Hanako     Where do I start? [15:21] Hanako     Teach me, Olivia. [15:23] Kasumi     She's like someone having French     food for the first time. [15:27] Kasumi     Huh? [15:28] Kasumi     Olivia-san? [15:29] Olivia     First... the cheeks? [15:32] Kasumi     Cheeks? As in, blush? [15:33] Kasumi     Wait, has she not done this before? [15:35] Kasumi     Sh-Shouldn't you start with toner? [15:38] Hanako     Huh? You know this stuff, Kasumi-san? [15:39] Kasumi     I-I have an older sister, so I know a little. [15:42] Kasumi     And then lotion. [15:44] Kasumi     It doubles as a makeup base and sunscreen. [15:46] Kasumi     And then foundation, I think? [15:49] Kasumi     That doesn't make a difference. [15:51] Kasumi     You have nice skin to begin with, Hanako-san. [15:53] Kasumi     I guess it doesn't do much. [15:55] Kasumi     And then shading... [15:56] Olivia     Let's put on some eye shadow! [16:00] Olivia     She looks like she got punched. [16:02] Hanako     Hey, do that half face makeup     thing they do on magazines. [16:06] Hanako     I want to see the before and after. [16:08] Olivia     O-Okay. [16:10] Olivia     I'll do one of your cheeks, then. [16:12] Kasumi     You can really tell you're wearing makeup     when you put on blush. It's nice. [16:20] Olivia     Now she looks like she got punched twice. [16:25] Hanako     How do I look? [16:26] Olivia     You look cute. [16:29] Sensei     Honda-san! [16:31] Hanako     S-Sensei! [16:31] Hanako     No no, no no! [16:33] Sensei     Judging from the angle, she must     have been beaten up by those two. [16:37] Sensei     Olivia-san, Nomura-san,     come to the faculty room. [16:41] Hanako     Wait, S-Sensei, I'm the one at fault here. [16:45] Sensei     Don't worry, Honda-san. [16:47] Sensei     You're fine. [16:48] Sensei     Nomura-san, hurry up and     finish that mochi ice cream. [16:52] Kasumi     No, it's a puff. [16:54] Hanako     Wait, has Sensei never put on makeup before? [17:00] Hanako     Lucky! SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Non-title Match [17:08] Kasumi     Found it. [17:10] Kasumi     Thank goodness. [17:11] Kasumi     Good thing it never fell on top of someone. [17:13] Kasumi     I have to finish cleaning     and get to the club. [17:16] Kasumi     Hanako-san and Olivia-san must be waiting. [17:21] Kasumi     Huh? That voice... [17:25] Kasumi     It's Hanako-san. [17:28] Kasumi     What's she doing, though? [17:30] Kasumi     Practice swings? [17:32] Kasumi     I wonder if Hanako-san still wants     to go back to the Soft Tennis Club. [17:40] Kasumi     Huh? [17:41] Kasumi     It's a hagoita. [17:45] Kasumi     I'm going to pretend I didn't see that. SIGN    Pastimers Club [17:48] Olivia     You're late, Kasumi. [17:49] Kasumi     I-I was on cleaning duty. [17:51] Olivia     Oh, was it you today? [17:53] Olivia     Hanako isn't here yet. [17:54] Olivia     Was she on duty, too? [17:56] Kasumi     D-Dunno. [17:57] Kasumi     She's probably spying on     popular kids or something. [18:01] Olivia     I can picture that. [18:09] Kasumi     She just showed right up. [18:11] Olivia     Wh-What are you holding? [18:13] Hanako     Takeshi-sama. [18:14] Olivia     Hm? [18:15] Hanako     A Blue-eyed Delinquent hagoita     from Boys' School Wars. [18:18] Hanako     Custom-made. [18:20] Olivia     H-Huh. [18:21] Olivia     That's great. [18:22] Hanako     I have them for you two, too. [18:23] Olivia     I really don't want this! [18:25] Olivia     Thanks. [18:27] Hanako     Let's bring these with us to     take down the Soft Tennis Club! [18:31] Kasumi     So that's what that was about. [18:34] Olivia     With hagoitas? [18:35] Hanako     Yeah. [18:36] Hanako     They wouldn't stand a chance     if I used a normal racket. [18:38] Hanako     It's a handicap, I guess. [18:40] Kasumi     Wait, we haven't played soft tennis before. [18:45] Sensei     Honda-san! [18:46] Sensei     You're back?! [18:49] Sensei     Jeez, the prefectural preliminaries were     brutal since you pulled out, you know. [18:53] Hanako     Wait, Sensei, that's not it. [18:55] Hanako     I'm here today for a non-title     match against the soft tennis club. [19:00] Sensei     Huh? What for? [19:02] Hanako     What for, you ask? [19:04] Hanako     Because I'm faced with my sworn enemies. SIGN    Sworn Enemies SIGN    Popular Kids [19:07] Sensei     No one can come out happy by that reasoning. [19:09] A     Sensei, we can't play real matches. [19:12] B     I'm out of sweat wipes right now.     I don't want to sweat too much. [19:16] Sensei     Ugh... [19:17] Hanako     Ugh... [19:17] Sensei     H-Honda-san, we accept the challenge. [19:21] Sensei     But... [19:22] Sensei     If we win, you have to come     back to the soft tennis club. [19:26] Hanako     I'm in. [19:27] Kasumi     Are you sure about that condition? [19:29] Kasumi     It seems full of all kinds of holes. [19:31] Sensei     All right, kids, we're     winning no matter what! [19:33] Sensei     We'll win ugly if we have to. [19:34] Sensei     Go for the eyes! The eyes! [19:36] A     Sensei, are you sure it's a good idea to     hit a member you want in her weak spot? [19:39] Sensei     Pass Club, service. [19:41] Hanako     Tremble before me! [19:44] Hanako     This is the Green-eyed Serve! [19:47] Sensei     There it is! [19:48] Sensei     The phrase by Shakespeare representing     jealousy in his play, Othello, [19:51] Sensei     "green-eyed monster"! [19:53] Sensei     Honda-san's special serve! [20:01] Hanako     It couldn't stand up to Takeshi-sama's nose! [20:04] Olivia     Use the back side, Hanako! [20:06] Hanako     I had Takeshi-san put on both     sides when I ordered it. [20:08] Olivia     Are you nuts?! [20:09] Hanako     I'll go think of something. [20:11] Hanako     Handle this, guys! [20:14] Olivia     Wh-What do we do? [20:15] Kasumi     I-It's fine. [20:16] Kasumi     I'm good at physics. [20:23] Kasumi     I can see the ball's trajectory. [20:26] Kasumi     Horizontal acceleration, vertical     acceleration, gravity, drag... SIGN    Calculating [20:32] Kasumi     All these factors determine the     ball's parabolic trajectory. [20:36] Kasumi     Now! [20:42] Kasumi     My calculation was impeccable. [20:45] Olivia     S-Sure. [20:46] Olivia     Seriously, it's okay. [20:48] Olivia     I believe you. [20:49] Hanako     I'm back, guys. [20:52] Olivia     Hanako... [20:53] Olivia     Did you... [20:55] Olivia     You broke it?! [20:57] Kasumi     We can break these? [20:59] Olivia     It's in the way for me, too. [21:00] Hanako     Olivia! [21:01] Hanako     What are you doing?! [21:03] Olivia     But you broke yours. [21:04] Hanako     I was crying! [21:06] Hanako     I never gave you permission! [21:08] Hanako     Right, Kasumi-san? SIGN    Peeled off [21:10] Hanako     Kasumi-san! [21:11] A     Sorry to interrupt, but can we continue? [21:14] Hanako     O-Of course. [21:16] Hanako     I'm going to play seriously now. [21:18] A     Yeah? [21:19] B     You are, huh? [21:21] A     We lose, then. [21:23] B     The mixer afterwards is going     to suck if I sweat any more. [21:29] A     Thank you, Sensei. [21:30] B     See you tomorrow. [21:33] Kasumi     Um... [21:34] Kasumi     Do you have glue? SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Japanese Pastimes, Please [23:11] Kasumi     I wonder what we're doing today. [23:12] Hanako     I dunno. SIGN    Ring toss [23:13] Narrator     Ring toss. [23:15] Narrator     A game in which rings are     thrown to win prizes. SIGN    Prize [23:19] Narrator     However, the prize is often     larger than the ring, [23:23] Narrator     making it unwinnable, or     moving just to piss you off. [23:25] Narrator     They clearly have no intention     of letting you win. [23:28] Olivia     I'm so pissed. [23:29] Hanako     Do it, Kasumi! [23:31] Kasumi     I don't need this shit! SIGN    I don't need this shit! [23:36] Hanako     You'd seriously hammer it?! SIGN    You'd seriously hammer it?! SIGN    Asobi Asobase 3 - A Battle That Must Be Won | Puppets | Betting My Life Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    A Battle That Must Be Won SIGN    Pastimers Club [01:35] Olivia     Issei no se, two! [01:38] Hanako     I lost. [01:40] Olivia     You owe me a drink. [01:42] Hanako     Oh, fine. [01:43] Kasumi     Uh... [01:45] Kasumi     I don't think we should     do that kind of thing. [01:49] Olivia     What kind of thing? [01:51] Kasumi     L-Like, penalties where the loser     gets ordered to go do stuff. [01:55] Kasumi     I don't think it's good. [01:57] Olivia     You tried to make me teach     you English at first, too. [02:01] Kasumi     N-No, I'm just saying it's bad to     order people around to go do stuff. [02:05] Hanako     I don't mind, though. [02:07] Kasumi     No! [02:08] Kasumi     Hanako-san, it always starts off simple,     but it can escalate before you know it! SIGN    Pout [02:15] Hanako     Oh, shoot. [02:18] Hanako     Kasumi-san's just being nice, Olivia. [02:21] Hanako     It can get out of control and     become vicious, you know? [02:27] Olivia     I-I never had that kind of intention. [02:31] Olivia     I just wanted to make it fun. [02:34] Olivia     But... Sorry. [02:39] Kasumi     Well, I killed the vibe, too. [02:43] Kasumi     Then you can choose a penalty, as long as     it's not ordering people to go do stuff. SIGN    Mweeeheehee [02:53] Hanako     She seems so happy. [02:56] Olivia     Oh, hey, there's a game penalty that's     customary where my Mom and Dad are from. [03:01] Hanako     A penalty from your parents' country? [03:03] Olivia     Yeah. [03:04] Kasumi     What's the penalty? [03:05] Olivia     The loser has to sniff the winner's armpit. [03:09] Hanako     What the hell?! [03:10] Hanako     Is that really a custom where you're from?! [03:12] Hanako     It's not just something your family does?! [03:14] Olivia     No, it's not. [03:15] Olivia     It's a traditional thing in our culture. [03:18] Hanako     No way, I swear, it's only in your family. [03:20] Hanako     You can't turn it into something so grand. [03:22] Kasumi     I-I can't object to culture. [03:25] Olivia     Yay. [03:25] Hanako     Kasumi-san's a slave to culture! [03:28] Olivia     Okay, let's play issei no se. [03:30] Hanako     Fine. [03:31] Olivia     You first, Hanako. [03:32] Hanako     Issei no se... three! [03:34] Hanako     Yay, I win. [03:36] Olivia     What are you talking about? [03:37] Olivia     In this case, the winner takes the penalty. [03:42] Hanako     Fine, I'll sniff Kasumi-san's first. [03:44] Kasumi     I-I'll pass. [03:47] Olivia     You can't. [03:48] Olivia     You have to let Hanako take her penalty. SIGN    Sniff [03:53] Hanako     It doesn't smell! [03:58] Hanako     You're okay, Kasumi-san.     You didn't smell at all. [04:02] Kasumi     O-Okay. [04:03] ---     Okay, next! SIGN    Sniff Sniff SIGN    Apocrine sweat glands! [04:08] Olivia     Huh? [04:09] Olivia     What's apocrine? [04:10] Kasumi     Uh... You don't need to     know if you don't already. [04:13] Kasumi     Huh? Why is Hanako-san making that motion? [04:18] Hanako     Now I know why my cat grinds     its nose when Dad farts. [04:23] Hanako     It's when it's extreme. [04:26] Hanako     It's when it's extreme! [04:28] Olivia     D-Did I smell bad? [04:32] Hanako     Huh? No? [04:34] Hanako     No, I can't tell her! [04:35] Hanako     It's a fact too cruel for a     lady's gentle heart to take! [04:39] Hanako     Meow. [04:41] Hanako     I'm pretending to be a kitty. [04:42] Olivia     Oh, really? [04:44] Kasumi     That was totally not a "meow" pose. [04:47] Olivia     Okay, round two. [04:49] Olivia     Oh, but no raising two fingers and [04:52] Olivia     saying "one" or raising one     finger and saying "six." [04:54] Hanako     I have to win... [04:55] Olivia     I have to win this battle! [04:58] Hanako     Kasumi-san, let's form an alliance. [05:00] Hanako     The two of us both raise two fingers     so we'll have at least four. [05:05] Hanako     Then, if we say either two     or three, we won't lose. [05:09] Kasumi     R-Right. [05:11] Kasumi     Let's go with that. [05:12] Kasumi     I'd rather not get sniffed anymore,     either, if I can avoid it. [05:16] Kasumi     Issei no se... three. [05:20] Hanako     Issei no se... two! [05:25] Olivia     Issei no se... five! [05:30] Kasumi     D-Dodged a bullet. [05:34] Kasumi     Kasumi-san, it's okay if Olivia     has to take the penalty. [05:40] Hanako     Is she... [05:42] Kasumi     ...on to us? [05:42] Kasumi     No, but if we don't guess     right, it doesn't matter. [05:47] Kasumi     Issei no se... three! [05:50] Olivia     You got it, Kasumi. [05:52] Olivia     Hanako-san... [05:55] Olivia     She's not raising any! [05:57] Kasumi     U-Unbelievable. [06:00] Kasumi     The friendship of a girl is more     fragile than a microscope slide. [06:03] Olivia     Yay, you're taking the penalty, Kasumi. [06:07] Kasumi     You don't want to get     sniffed, do you, Hanako-san? [06:10] Hanako     Grinding your nose is a good life lesson. [06:18] Olivia     Here you go, Kasumi. [06:22] Kasumi     U-Um... [06:24] Kasumi     Err... [06:27] Kasumi     I'm going to go buy drinks for the two of you. [06:29] Kasumi     So please spare me. SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Puppets [06:37] Sensei     This is a shopping scene. [06:40] Sensei     "Can I try it on?" is "Can I try it on?" [06:44] Hanako     Uh oh. [06:46] Hanako     The candy I ate during break     period still hasn't melted. [06:49] Hanako     I can't chew it down now. [06:51] Hanako     But I guess it should be okay     as long as I don't get picked. [06:54] Sensei     Let's see... [06:55] Sensei     Let's have you translate this to English. [06:58] Sensei     Honda-san. [06:59] Hanako     Okay. [07:02] Hanako     It's like she's doing it on purpose. [07:04] Hanako     I have to keep it under my tongue. [07:06] Hanako     I'll take you... [07:09] Sensei     Why does she have her jaw out? [07:11] Hanako     It's... [07:12] [SONG] Text     Clop [07:15] Hanako     S-Stay calm... [07:18] Hanako     Suck it in as you say "how much?"     and put it back under your tongue. SIGN    Clank [07:27] Sensei     H-Honda-san?! [07:29] Sensei     Are you okay, Honda-san?! SIGN    Faculty Room [07:32] Sensei     Please don't eat candy during class. [07:36] Hanako     Okay. [07:37] Sensei     That was a close one. [07:39] Hanako     Yes. [07:40] Hanako     I'm sorry. [07:43] Sensei     I came to work at a girls' school     because I was afraid of boys, [07:47] Sensei     but girls are scary, too. [07:49] Sensei     I avoided boys because I'm afraid     of them, and now I'm still single. [07:54] Sensei     Almost all of the teachers at     this girls' school are women. [07:57] Sensei     I don't have a chance to meet anyone. [07:59] Sensei     I wonder if I'm going to die alone. [08:02] Sensei     I get worried these days. [08:04] Hanako     Hey, Sensei, can I go to my club? [08:07] Sensei     Right. [08:08] Sensei     You're in the soft tennis     club, right, Honda-san? [08:11] Hanako     No, I left the soft tennis club recently. [08:14] Hanako     I'm in the Pastimers Club. [08:16] Sensei     Pastimers?! SIGN    Pastimers Club [08:18] Sensei     M-May I come with you? [08:22] Hanako     So I brought Sensei with me. [08:24] Sensei     Th-Thanks for having me. [08:28] Kasumi     Um... [08:29] Kasumi     Did it become such a big deal that     a piece of candy nearly killed her? [08:32] Olivia     To be fair, I thought her mandrake     shriek would kill me, too. [08:37] Sensei     Huh? [08:38] Sensei     Oh, no, it's not about that. [08:39] Sensei     The candy thing's fine now. [08:41] Sensei     You study pleasure seekers     in this club, right? [08:45] Olivia     Huh? [08:46] Kasumi     Er, yeah. [08:47] Sensei     D-Do you do marriage matchmaking? [08:52] Kasumi     Err, no. [08:54] Hanako     Marriage matchmaking? Middle schoolers? [08:55] Sensei     So what do you do, then? [08:58] Olivia     Kendama. [08:59] Kasumi     Hagoita. [09:00] Olivia     We played issei no se, too. [09:05] Sensei     That sounds fun. [09:09] Hanako     She seems blatantly disappointed. [09:12] Kasumi     A-Are you looking to do matchmaking? [09:15] Sensei     Oh, err... [09:17] Sensei     Y-Yeah. [09:19] Olivia     Cute. [09:20] Kasumi     Cute. [09:21] Hanako     Squee! [09:22] Sensei     I've been at girls' schools     ever since preschool. [09:25] Sensei     I thought it'd be okay, since     I had fun being around girls. [09:30] Sensei     And then I realized I'm older     than my mom was when I was born. [09:35] Hanako     Were you spirited away or something? [09:38] Sensei     Yeah, maybe, for, like, twenty years. [09:41] Olivia     So long! [09:41] Sensei     I thought maybe pleasure     seekers at a girls' school [09:45] Sensei     might know of some amazing     ways to find boyfriends. [09:48] Sensei     But it's a bit too late now, huh? [09:50] Olivia     Not at all. [09:52] Olivia     Let's get you an awesome lover. [09:56] Hanako     Are you sure about this? [09:58] Hanako     We can't even make it to a mixer. [10:00] Hanako     Are you sure we can find a     boyfriend for someone else? [10:03] Olivia     Olivia-chan just talked out of her ass. [10:06] Kasumi     So what kind of person do you like? [10:09] Sensei     Masumi-sama! [10:11] Kasumi     She's going nuts! [10:13] Olivia     Do you know that person? [10:14] Sensei     I love shoujo manga! [10:16] Olivia     Oh, I see. [10:17] Sensei     I'm in love with the idea     of being given a bouquet of [10:20] Sensei     purple flowers by a man     strutting out of a Porsche. [10:24] Sensei     And I absolutely adore good-looking     engineer men with superpowers [10:27] Sensei     who watch over Earth from the moon. [10:30] Hanako     Can we even find someone     like that on planet Earth? [10:33] Kasumi     I-I heard people meet each     other online these days. [10:36] Sensei     Online? [10:38] Sensei     I don't know if I can do it. [10:39] Sensei     Someone hijacked my e-commerce     site account the other day. [10:42] Kasumi     I think I get it now. [10:44] Hanako     Oh, I'm on Twitter. [10:46] Olivia     Really? Let me see. [10:48] Hanako     Hang on. [10:49] Hanako     Here. SIGN    A tight muse with a love for world peace [10:53] Olivia     I like your profile picture. [10:56] Olivia     Would she get angry if     I said it looks just like her? [10:58] Kasumi     Wh-Whoever made this is a genius. [11:03] Hanako     Praise me more! [11:06] Olivia     Oh, she made it? [11:08] Hanako     Want to make one, too, Sensei? [11:09] Hanako     I can do it for you right away. [11:11] Sensei     Okay, this is my email address. [11:13] Hanako     What about your password? [11:14] Sensei     "I want to get married." [11:17] Hanako     There, done. SIGN    Single Sensei [11:19] Olivia     There's nothing here. [11:20] Sensei     I can't see. [11:21] Hanako     We have to post some stuff. [11:23] Kasumi     Come to think of it, Sensei's     an English teacher. [11:26] Kasumi     I need to take advantage of this opportunity. [11:29] Kasumi     C-Could you add this line to the profile? [11:33] Hanako     Huh? Sure. [11:34] Hanako     Let's take a picture of you, then, Sensei. [11:36] Hanako     Here, hold onto this. [11:37] Hanako     And make yourself look seductive,     like in a fancy Hollywood movie. SIGN    Flash <3 [11:44] Hanako     That'll do it. [11:45] Sensei     By the way, what is this? [11:46] Hanako     A titty spinning top that I found     at the flea market the other day. [11:50] Sensei     Wait, please don't use that photo. [11:53] Hanako     I already made it your profile picture. [11:56] Sensei     How did it turn out? SIGN    Single Sensei @CHISATO30 I'm the Pastimers Club supervisor <3 Planning to post the club's activity reports BTW, looking for a boyfriend [12:00] [SONG] ---     Single Sensei      @CHISATO30           I'm the Pastimers Club supervisor <3      Planning to post the club's activity reports      BTW, looking for a boyfriend [12:03] Sensei     Huh? [12:04] Sensei     Pastimers Club supervisor? [12:06] Kasumi     We know her password and email     address, so we can post on it, too. [12:10] Hanako     Yeah. [12:11] Hanako     Let's write tons of fun stories     from the Pastimers Club. [12:14] Sensei     Wait, is it just me, or has     my account been hijacked? [12:18] Kasumi     We'll be in your care, Sensei. [12:22] Sensei     Huh? [12:23] Sensei     Is "Thank you, so will I" the     only acceptable reply here? SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Betting My Life SIGN    Student Council Office [12:35] President     Okay, now that you have five members,     we'll recognize it as a club. [12:39] President     Please use the vacant room on the     third floor as your club room. [12:42] Shogi President     Um... [12:43] Shogi President     Actually, there's a club called the     Pastimers Club using that room. [12:50] President     Huh? [12:51] President     Say what? [12:52] President     I haven't heard about this. [12:54] President     Then... [12:56] President     I'll have the Pastimers Club people leave. SIGN    Pastimers Club [13:04] Hanako     I want to go outside. [13:06] Olivia     Where outside? [13:08] Hanako     Shibuya. [13:08] Olivia     That was quick. [13:09] Sensei     You should go hang out there on Sunday. [13:12] Hanako     You don't get it! [13:13] Hanako     You don't get it, Sensei! [13:15] Hanako     That's not the point! [13:17] Hanako     It has to be an extracurricular activity! [13:20] Sensei     I wonder if there's a local history     museum or anything in Shibuya. [13:24] Hanako     And I want to go for a manicure     or something on the way home. [13:27] Sensei     You won't get in in your school uniform. [13:28] Hanako     Sensei! [13:29] Hanako     I'm serious about this! [13:31] Hanako     Doesn't it sound super pleasure seeker-ey     to go for a manicure in uniform cosplay [13:35] Hanako     after an extracurricular activity? [13:37] Sensei     I don't think you're much     of a pleasure seeker, [13:40] Sensei     trying so openly to get     permission from your teacher. [13:43] Olivia     Hanako can't hang out at the entertainment     district without some kind of reason. [13:47] PA     Higuchi-sensei, please     come to the faculty room. [13:51] Sensei     They're calling. [13:52] Sensei     I'll be right back. [13:54] Narrator     And then what happened? [13:59] Olivia     Sensei, are you— [14:02] Hanako     Student Council President? [14:03] Kasumi     Did you need something? [14:04] President     Um, may we speak? [14:07] Hanako     What's up? [14:08] President     I have to explain properly. [14:09] President     Only a peaceful resolution is     in line with my philosophy. [14:13] President     Would you please leave? [14:17] Olivia     D-D-Did we do something? [14:20] Hanako     We haven't caused the school any trouble yet! [14:23] President     Yet? [14:23] President     Huh? [14:24] President     Weird, they're confused. [14:26] President     Maybe I didn't say it right. [14:28] President     I have to say it more nicely. [14:30] President     Umm... [14:31] President     If anything, it's because     you aren't doing anything. [14:35] President     You haven't submitted your request     form to use this classroom, have you? [14:40] Kasumi     I-I forgot. [14:43] Hanako     Are you kidding me?! [14:45] Hanako     Um... [14:46] Hanako     Could we get permission now, then? [14:49] Olivia     Y-Yeah! [14:50] Olivia     We'll submit the form now! [14:51] Kasumi     I'm sorry it's late! [14:54] Hanako     President, the form! Now! [14:55] Hanako     Give us the permission form, por favor! [14:57] Kasumi     She's trying to win her over by force. [15:00] President     Actually, there's a group that     submitted their form just earlier. [15:04] Olivia     Who? [15:05] President     Please don't provoke them     too much when you enter. [15:08] President     Please, come in. [15:10] President     The members of the Shogi Club. [15:13] Kasumi     Th-They're acting the part! [15:15] Olivia     Such a gloomy bunch for     such a spectacular entry. [15:17] Olivia     What's going on? [15:19] Shogi President     This place is going to be the     Shogi Club's room from now on. [15:23] Hanako     No way! [15:24] Hanako     Please use another room! [15:26] President     I need to respond with compassion     in situations like this one. [15:30] President     I'm sorry, there isn't a single     other classroom available. [15:35] Hanako     This person's completely heartless! [15:38] Kasumi     I'm sorry, guys. [15:40] Kasumi     It's all because I forgot to submit the form. [15:42] Hanako     Kasumi-san... [15:44] Hanako     W-Wait, President, hear me out! [15:48] President     Sure, go ahead. [15:49] Hanako     Shogi's that sport where you     fire lasers from your bum. [15:52] Hanako     It's not safe to do in a classroom. [15:55] Olivia     Huh? [15:56] Shogi President     Huh? [15:57] Olivia     You can take a break, Hanako. [16:00] Hanako     Huh? [16:01] Hanako     Was that not it? [16:02] Kasumi     That's a sport that actually*     exists inside Hanako-san's mind? [16:04] President     Um... [16:06] Shogi President     Hold on, President. [16:07] Shogi President     Leave this to us. [16:10] Shogi President     Members of the Pastimers Club, why     don't we settle this with a pastime? [16:16] Shogi President     If you win, feel free to use this room. [16:20] Shogi President     And if we win, we'll have     you leave this classroom. [16:27] A     President... [16:28] Hanako     A-All right. [16:30] Shogi President     That's the spirit. [16:33] Shogi President     You can go ahead and choose a pastime. [16:36] A     President, President! [16:38] Shogi President     You may all be flustered over     this sudden turn of events, [16:43] Shogi President     but let's take them down on their own     turf and achieve ultimate victory! [16:48] A     Say what? [16:48] B     This president's good at pep talks. [16:50] Hanako     So we'll play shoe launching. [16:54] Hanako     I'll explain the rules in detail now. [16:57] Hanako     Whoever launches their shoe furthest     from this line is the winner. [17:00] Shogi President     What rules? She just repeated*     the name of the game. [17:03] Hanako     I avoided brainy games for your sake. [17:06] Kasumi     Y-Yay. [17:07] Hanako     Rock-paper-scissors. [17:09] Hanako     Okay, I'll go first. [17:10] Shogi President     Okay. [17:23] A     I think we can win. [17:25] Hanako     I'm sorry, I'll commit seppuku now. [17:28] Kasumi     Hanako-san, that might be one way     to die, but it's not seppuku. [17:31] A     I-I'll do my best. [17:36] Shogi President     That was godly! [17:38] A     Godly? Thank you. [17:40] Hanako     I-I lost to that? [17:42] Kasumi     I'll go now. [17:44] Olivia     Launch it into outer space, Kasumi. [17:52] Hanako     A godly kick, Kasumi-san! [17:54] Kasumi     I let out a weird sound. [17:59] B     I'm sorry, President. [18:02] Shogi President     Don't worry. [18:02] Olivia     Here comes Olivia! [18:13] Hanako     Olivia for the win! [18:17] Olivia     You never said no swings. [18:20] A     P-President... [18:22] Shogi President     If that's how you want to play... [18:28] Shogi President     You never said no bikes. [18:38] Hanako     This person's amazing. [18:44] A     President! [18:47] A     President! [18:52] Shogi President     Pastimes are serious     business, Pastimers Club. [18:58] Shogi President     You must risk your life for your pastimes. [19:02] Hanako     Y-You win. [19:06] A     Are you okay, President? [19:08] Shogi President     Can we stop by the hospital? [19:10] B     I'll follow you for life! [19:12] Narrator     And so the Pastimers Club was     pummeled into the ground. [19:18] Narrator     But because the Shogi Club president had     compound fractures all over her body [19:21] Narrator     and was forced to be home-schooled, SIGN    Pastimers Club [19:24] Narrator     the other members of the Shogi Club gathered     at the President's place for their meets. [19:32] Hanako     I think we took it too far, don't you think? [19:33] Olivia     Yeah, we took it too far. [19:35] Kasumi     They were way too athletic     to be in the Shogi Club, huh? SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Japanese Pastimes, Please [21:20] Olivia     What's today's game going to be? SIGN    Hide-and-Seek [21:23] Narrator     Hide-and-seek. [21:24] Kasumi     Hide-and-seek? [21:25] Narrator     Said to have originated from a     "kakurebou" at an unknown village. [21:31] Narrator     Kakurebou is a ritual whereby     one is deemed an adult [21:34] Narrator     if they are able to hide from     the bears in the forest for a night. [21:42] Kasumi     Back to the forest you go. [21:43] Kasumi     There, there. [21:45] Narrator     Because bears are the messengers of the     gods, it is forbidden to hurt them, [21:50] Narrator     and one may not bring weapons to the ritual. [21:56] Kasumi     There, there, good boy. [21:59] Narrator     One generally enters the mountains     naked for this ritual. [22:06] Hanako     I'm spoiled for marriage! [22:07] Narrator     The Meiji government decreed this ritual     banned due to the many lives it cost, [22:13] Narrator     but there are records of it having     been done into the early Showa era. [22:20] Narrator     Or something. SIGN    Asobi Asobase 4 - Lower Body Lasers | Pots and Kettles | Illegal Occupation | Butt Play Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:00] ---      SIGN    Lower Body Lasers [01:33] (Flashback) Hanako     Hey, Maeda, what's this? [01:35] (Flashback) Maeda     This is a back scratcher. [01:38] (Flashback) Hanako     How do you use it? [01:39] (Flashback) Maeda     Like this. [01:43] (Flashback) Hanako     That's amazing. [01:45] (Flashback) Hanako     You know everything, Maeda. [01:47] Maeda     I must teach Hanako     anything she asks to know. [01:52] Maeda     I can't ever say "I don't know" to her. [01:56] Maeda     Thus, even that one time... [01:57] (Flashback) Hanako     Hey, Maeda... [01:59] (Flashback) Maeda     What is it, Hanako-sama? [02:00] (Flashback) Hanako     What's shogi? [02:04] Maeda     "Shogi is a game where one moves their     pieces until they capture the enemy King." [02:09] Maeda     I suppose I could just tell her that... [02:12] Maeda     But I cannot. [02:13] Maeda     For if I did... [02:15] Hanako     "Teach me that game, then." [02:18] Maeda     ...she would say. [02:20] Maeda     Alas, I don't know the rules of shogi. [02:27] Maeda     So... [02:28] (Flashback) Hanako     Hey, what's shogi? [02:30] (Flashback) Maeda     A sport wherein one fires     laser beams from their butt. [02:33] (Flashback) Hanako     Show me. [02:34] (Flashback) Maeda     Yes, ma'am. [02:37] (Flashback) Mom     Oh my God, Maeda-san, what the hell?! [02:41] Maeda     Since then, Hanako-sama     would often beg of me... [02:46] (Flashback) Hanako     Hey, hey, Maeda, do shogi! [02:48] (Flashback) Hanako     I can't sleep until you fire     a laser from your butt. [02:53] (Flashback) Hanako     Maeda, show me your beam! [02:56] Maeda     But since a week ago, Hanako-sama's     tone has suddenly changed. [03:03] Hanako     You can stop with the beam now. [03:05] Hanako     What's the deal with your butthole? [03:08] Hanako     I'll pay for your surgery. [03:10] Hanako     Have them remove it for you. [03:12] Maeda     Hanako-sama... [03:13] Maeda     You were so delighted by my butt     beam until just a week ago. [03:17] Brother     I'm seriously worried about     my sister's mental health, [03:20] Brother     being delighted by that     until just a week ago. [03:23] Maeda     Welcome home, Kentarou-sama. [03:26] Maeda     Say, has Hanako-sama taken an umbrella? [03:29] Brother     Dunno. [03:30] Brother     The weather forecast said it     would be sunny, so probably not. [03:35] Maeda     As I do not have a license,     I shall go fetch her on foot. [03:39] Brother     This guy's been at our place forever... [03:41] Brother     But what does he do exactly? [03:46] Olivia     I didn't bring an umbrella. [03:48] Olivia     What about you guys? [03:49] Kasumi     I always keep a foldable umbrella with me. [03:52] Kasumi     What about you, Hanako? [03:53] Hanako     I forgot. [03:54] Olivia     What do we do? [03:57] Hanako     Want to wear garbage bags? [04:00] Olivia     Why are Hanako's ideas always so hobotastic     when she's apparently so rich? [04:05] Kasumi     M-Maybe we can fit three     people under my umbrella. [04:09] Hanako     Not under a foldable umbrella, I don't think. [04:13] Olivia     I wonder if someone could     lend us an umbrella. [04:15] Maeda     Hanako-sama. [04:18] Kasumi     Hanako-san! [04:19] Kasumi     Stab him with this! [04:20] Kasumi     Hurry! [04:21] Kasumi     Kill him quick! [04:22] Hanako     Kasumi-san, calm down! [04:26] Hanako     H-He works for us at home. [04:29] Hanako     He's... a thing. [04:29] Maeda     I'm Maeda. [04:30] Kasumi     What do you mean, "a thing"? [04:32] Maeda     Hanako-sama, I've brought you an umbrella. [04:34] Hanako     Thanks. [04:37] Hanako     Kasumi-san, are you okay? [04:39] Kasumi     I'm sorry, I'm sorry! [04:41] Kasumi     I have a fear of men. [04:44] Hanako     Is this better? [04:46] Kasumi     I'm sorry. I'm sorry,.     I can't deal with weirdos either. [04:49] Narrator     And then what happened? [04:50] Maeda     Are these ladies your school friends? [04:53] Hanako     Yeah. Olivia and Kasumi. [04:55] Maeda     Olivia. [04:56] Maeda     That's a foreign name. [04:58] Maeda     I enjoy traveling abroad. [05:02] Maeda     Which country are you from? [05:06] Olivia     I-It's a secret. [05:12] Maeda     I feel like your friends are afraid     of me because of you, Hanako-sama! [05:15] Hanako     It's because you just happen to look skeevy! [05:20] Olivia     Thanks for the umbrella. [05:22] Hanako     Sure. [05:22] Kasumi     You tolerate having that thing     in your life, Hanako-san? [05:27] Olivia     That "thing"? [05:27] Kasumi     I never knew you hated men so much. [05:31] Kasumi     I-I mean... [05:32] Kasumi     I heard men fire laser beam things from     their crotch when they're turned on. [05:37] Hanako     Didn't you know, Kasumi-san? [05:39] Hanako     Laser beams come out of the butt. [05:40] Kasumi     Really? [05:42] Kasumi     I never knew. [05:43] Kasumi     Oh jeez, I'm embarrassed. [05:45] Hanako     And it destroys the roof     sometimes. It's so dangerous. [05:49] Sensei     Sorry I'm late, everyone. [05:51] Sensei     Who are you?! SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Pots and Kettles [05:58] Person A     Chisato, long time no see! [06:01] Sensei     Yeah, long time. [06:03] Person B     It's been about six years, hasn't it? [06:05] Person A     You haven't changed one bit. [06:06] Sensei     R-Really? [06:07] Person B     Yeah. [06:08] Person B     You're just like you were back in college. [06:10] Sensei     I wonder how the others are doing. [06:13] Person A     I think three-fifths of     them have gotten married. [06:17] Sensei     R-Really? [06:22] Person A     What a long sigh. [06:24] Person B     You work at a girls'     school, right, Chisa-chan? [06:26] Person B     Do you ever meet anyone? [06:27] Sensei     With men? [06:28] Sensei     Nah, not at all. [06:30] Sensei     Oh, I'm a supervisor for     a club at school, though. [06:33] Person A     That sounds really teachery. [06:35] Person A     What kind of club? [06:36] Person A     Basketball? Volleyball? [06:36] Person A     I bet concert band or     choir would suit you, too. [06:39] Sensei     It's a club called the Pastimers Club. [06:43] Person A     Huh. [06:44] Person A     Wow. [06:45] Person B     I've been working at a girls' school     for the past three years, too. [06:48] Sensei     Really? [06:49] Sensei     Where? [06:50] Person B     Have you heard of Sei Shukujo Academy? [06:52] Sensei     I have. [06:54] Sensei     It's that school with all     well-to-do girls, right? [06:56] Person B     One of the Four Lords of     Pastimers is at my school. [07:00] Person B     I'll hook you up sometime. [07:02] ---     Okay. [07:15] Sensei     What's a Lord of Pastimers? SIGN    Pastimers Club [07:22] Sensei     Guys, sorry I'm late. [07:24] Sensei     What're you up to? [07:26] Hanako     Playing Old Maid. [07:26] Sensei     Huh. [07:29] Sensei     Hey, girls... [07:31] Sensei     Have you heard of the     Four Lords of Pastimers? [07:37] Hanako     What's that? [07:39] Sensei     You wouldn't, would you? [07:41] Sensei     Okay. [07:42] Sensei     See, one of my friends also     works at a girls' school. [07:47] Sensei     We met to catch up the other day, [07:48] Sensei     and she told me that one of the Four     Lords of Pastimers is a student there. [07:52] Kasumi     Sensei has some weird friends. [07:56] Hanako     What's a Lord of Pastimers? [07:58] Olivia     I bet they're stupid. [07:59] Kasumi     Hey! [08:00] Olivia     I bet they only exist in that person's brain. [08:03] Hanako     Maybe she's, like, twice the     age of an eighth grader, [08:07] Hanako     and now she's thinking like one again. [08:10] Sensei     They're really roasting her. [08:12] Kasumi     Maybe there are some requirements, like     winning in a national kendama tournament. [08:16] Hanako     There's a lot of different pastimes, though. [08:18] Olivia     Can you become one of the Four     Lords just playing kendama? [08:21] Kasumi     I guess kendama alone wouldn't be enough. [08:23] Hanako     How accomplished do you have to be, then? [08:25] Kasumi     I wonder... I can't say. [08:27] Sensei     It sounds like a proper club meeting. [08:31] Sensei     Hello? [08:32] Person A     Chisato? Are you at school? [08:33] Sensei     Yeah, at the club. [08:35] Person A     You know that Lord of Pastimers     I was talking about? [08:39] Sensei     Yeah? [08:39] Person A     She just headed out your way. [08:42] Person A     She should be there soon. [08:43] Sensei     Huh, okay. [08:45] Sensei     Got it. [08:46] Sensei     Thanks. [08:49] Sensei     The Lord is coming. [08:51] Kasumi     That's what you were talking about just now?! [08:53] Sensei     Huh? [08:54] Sensei     Yeah. [08:55] Olivia     Which school, by the way? [08:56] Sensei     Sei Shukujo Academy. [08:59] Hanako     That super well-to-do school? [09:00] Olivia     One of the Lords might     actually be there, then. [09:02] Kasumi     I know, right? [09:03] Kasumi     I bet she's super proper, too. [09:04] Kasumi     Wow, you all believe me as     soon as I bring that up? [09:06] Kasumi     You're such slaves to status. [09:17] Kasumi     H-Holy crap. [09:20] Hanako     Uh... Don't you get in trouble     at school, looking like that? [09:24] Lord     It's my actual hair color. [09:26] Lord     This butterfly landed on     me and became my friend. [09:28] Kasumi     She's lying! [09:29] Olivia     Wh-What about your makeup? [09:31] Lord     I'm not wearing any. [09:32] Kasumi     That's a lie, too! [09:33] Kasumi     B-But you wear your uniform properly, huh? [09:36] Lord     Huh? [09:37] Lord     I don't get it. Who doesn't     follow the school dress code? [09:40] Kasumi     Why is that the one thing     you're obedient about? [09:42] Sensei     Hey, I'm Ando-sensei's friend. [09:45] Lord     Oh, yeah, Ando-chan. [09:47] Lord     I didn't feel like coming, but     she knows my secret, so I had to. [09:49] Sensei     I heard you're one of the     Four Lords of Pastimers. [09:53] Lord     Oh, that. [09:55] Lord     I, like, slept with almost all the     guys from the boys' school nearby, [09:58] Lord     and now that's what they call me. [10:00] Kasumi     Wait, you mean Lord of Pleasure Seeking*?! [10:03] Olivia     H-How's Hanako reacting? [10:05] Hanako Right     Awesome! Awesome! [10:07] Hanako Left     No! She's a slut! [10:09] Hanako Left     Slut, slut, slut! [10:10] Olivia     I see two weird creatures above her head. [10:14] Olivia     Kasumi's soul is escaping from her mouth. [10:17] Olivia     But you can't keep up with school if     you're always fooling around, can you? [10:21] Lord     Studying at home is totally lame. [10:25] Hanako     She's a dumbass. [10:25] Olivia     Yup, of course she is. [10:28] Lord     You can pick up most of it     just listening in class. [10:32] Lord     I made the top 100 in the national     mock exam the other day, too. [10:36] Hanako     I'm going to go nuts with jealousy! [10:38] Olivia     C-Can you do kendama? [10:41] Kasumi     Olivia-san?! [10:42] Kasumi     Aren't you sad trying to gain*     superiority over kendama?! [10:50] Lord     You're just catching the     ball. This is boring. [10:53] Olivia     O-Okay. [10:54] Hanako     I-I know... [10:56] Hanako     Olivia, Kasumi-san, do that makeup on me! [11:01] Olivia     Nah... [11:01] Kasumi     I think we should give up. [11:03] Hanako     No! [11:03] Hanako     Not wearing makeup is tantamount to     going into battle unarmed and naked! [11:08] Hanako     Only by wearing steel armor as she     does can we engage in fair battle! [11:13] Olivia     I-If you insist... [11:16] Olivia     All right. [11:16] Kasumi     I'll do my best. [11:19] Olivia     T-Trust me, we did our best, Hanako. [11:22] Olivia     You put on color contacts, too. [11:23] Kasumi     W-We've done everything we     could with our skill level. [11:27] Hanako     Like, ohmygawd, girl. [11:31] Lord     Wasn't there a Batman villain     that looks like that? [11:34] Kasumi     There was! [11:37] Hanako     Do you think you can defeat     me, Lord of Pleasure Seeking? [11:42] Hanako     I can handle her myself,     Kasumi-san and Olivia-chan. [11:44] Kasumi     Stop it! [11:46] Kasumi     Now you both look and sound     like a low-level enemy! [11:50] Lord     You can have my cleanser, Hana-chan. [11:52] Hanako     Huh? [11:53] Hanako     Th-Thanks. [11:54] Lord     I'm going now. [11:55] Hanako     Okay. [11:58] Hanako     She was kind of nice. [12:00] Kasumi     Yeah. [12:01] Olivia     Yes. [12:02] Sensei     Honda-san, be sure to wash your face     quickly without looking in the mirror. SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Illegal Occupation SIGN    Choujuu Giga [12:12] Hanako     What're you looking at, Olivia? [12:14] Olivia     Choujuu Giga. [12:14] Olivia     The animal drawings are super cute. [12:17] Kasumi     Are you interested in this     kind of stuff, Olivia-san? [12:19] Olivia     Yeah. [12:19] Olivia     I love ukiyoe, too. [12:22] Hanako     Was Choujuu Giga that one that's said     to be the oldest manga in Japan? [12:26] Hanako     You have classy taste for     a middle schooler, Olivia. [12:29] Hanako     Hey, what do you think they're doing here? [12:31] Kasumi     Sumo? [12:32] Hanako     I guess? [12:33] Hanako     Do you think they're all males? [12:34] Olivia     How can you tell they're all male? [12:37] Hanako     I mean, only men can do sumo wrestling. [12:43] Olivia     But I wanted to become a sumo     wrestler when I grew up! [12:47] Hanako     Really? [12:48] Kasumi     You didn't notice from what you saw on TV? [12:50] Olivia     I thought they were only     airing the men's games [12:52] Olivia     because they're naked from the waist up. [12:56] Olivia     I thought girls sumo wrestle secretly     in a paradise-like place, half naked. [13:04] Kasumi     That's Olivia-san's idea of paradise? [13:07] Kasumi**     You might not be able to do it as a job,     but anyone can sumo wrestle for fun. [13:11] Olivia     For fun? [13:12] Olivia     You do real sumo wrestling for fun? [13:14] Kasumi     You could, but we don't have     anything to use as loincloths. [13:19] Hanako     Arm wrestling, thumb wrestling,     paper wrestling... [13:22] Hanako     There's a lot of games that     have the word "sumo" in it. [13:24] Olivia     I want to do something where you     use your hands and shout "nokotta!" [13:27] Hanako     How about teoshi sumo? [13:28] Olivia     What's teoshi sumo? [13:30] Hanako     You don't know? [13:31] Hanako     Kasumi-san, can you come stand in front? [13:34] Hanako     You put your hands together like     this, and you shove and dodge. [13:37] Hanako     The first person to lose their footing loses. [13:40] Kasumi     You can only touch your opponent's hands. [13:43] Olivia     It sounds so fun,     like frolicking in paradise. [13:46] Hanako     Kasumi-san and I will     go first, so just watch. [13:50] Olivia     Okay. [14:06] Olivia     It's just like what she     described, except it's not. [14:11] Hanako     Kasumi-san's good. [14:13] Kasumi     Hanako-san, you aren't as good as I thought. [14:18] Kasumi     Maybe you don't have balance     in your upper body. [14:23] Olivia     She provoked her. [14:26] Hanako     Gatotsu! [14:28] Kasumi     She fell for it. [14:29] Kasumi     Now I just need to avoid her. [14:33] Kasumi     She's still going to shove? [14:35] Kasumi     Fine! [14:37] Hanako     She's doing her Chinese     contortionist shit again. [14:41] Hanako     Still, I will win! [14:48] Hanako     O-Olivia... [14:50] Hanako     I'm safe, right? [14:54] Olivia     What are these girls doing? [14:56] Olivia     S-Safe? [14:58] Olivia     I mean, I guess? [15:00] Hanako     But I think... [15:02] ---     Hey, sorry I'm late... [15:04] Hanako     I'm done. [15:05] Sensei     Honda-san, don't give up! [15:08] Hanako     Huh? [15:09] Hanako     Sensei, what are you talking about? [15:11] Sensei     You can do it! [15:12] Sensei     You can't give up! [15:15] Sensei     Do it! [15:15] Sensei     You can do it! [15:16] Sensei     You can keep going! [15:18] Sensei     Hang in there, Honda-san! [15:24] Hanako     It's in my ey— [15:30] Sensei     Th-This is bad. [15:33] Olivia     S-Sensei, were you rooting for Hanako? [15:37] Sensei     Huh? Not really. [15:39] Sensei     I just wanted to sound     like an intense teacher. [15:42] Hanako     Huh? Say what? [15:43] Hanako     You scared me! [15:44] Kasumi     Okay, Olivia-san, want to     try playing in paradise? SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Butt Play [15:59] Kasumi     No one's here. [16:08] Kasumi     No one's here, which means I can secretly... [16:11] Harry     I'm going to put my magic on you. [16:15] Other guy     Put it on me. SIGN    Thwack [16:22] Hanako     Huh, you're already here, Kasumi-san? [16:24] Hanako     Hey, were you writing something? [16:26] Hanako     What were you up to? [16:27] Kasumi     Um... [16:32] Kasumi     Doing a lecture write-up. [16:34] Hanako     Sounds busy. [16:36] Hanako     Psyche! Middle schoolers     don't talk about lectures! [16:39] Hanako     Huh? [16:41] Hanako     "Put it on me"? [16:45] Hanako     Err, Kasumi-san... [16:46] Kasumi     N-No! [16:48] Kasumi     It's not! [16:49] Kasumi     I didn't write this! [16:51] Kasumi     I didn't! [16:52] Hanako     Okay, sorry. I know. [16:54] Kasumi     I want to die! SIGN    Squeeeeeze [16:56] Hanako     It's okay! [16:57] Hanako     Seriously, it's fine! Don't die! [16:58] Hanako     Live! [16:59] Hanako     Live! [17:00] Hanako     You are beautiful! [17:01] Olivia     I ran into Sensei on the way here. [17:03] Sensei     Sorry I'm late. [17:08] Sensei     I have no clue how it came to this. [17:11] Hanako     U-Um... [17:14] Hanako     I can't tell them! [17:15] Hanako     Kasumi-san will kill herself! [17:18] Hanako     I have to come up with a different reason. [17:19] Hanako     Something else... [17:20] Hanako     K-Kasumi-san was writing     an Oscar Wilde-style novel. [17:25] Kasumi     Hanako-san! [17:26] Olivia     Huh, what's it like? [17:29] Kasumi     Sorry, it's pretty wild. [17:31] Kasumi     It might shock you. [17:35] Sensei     I-Is it the kind of thing they     might be handing out at Big Sight? [17:39] Kasumi     Y-Yes. [17:41] Kasumi     A wild, sold-in-person type. [17:42] Sensei     Really? [17:44] Sensei     Can I read it when you're done? [17:46] Kasumi     No! [17:47] Kasumi     Someone kill me! [17:49] Kasumi     I don't have the courage to kill myself! [17:50] Hanako     Kasumi-san! [17:51] Kasumi     I'll write a will so it     looks like a proper suicide! [17:55] Hanako     Don't worry, I like Boys     School Wars and stuff, too. [17:58] Hanako     I'm interested in that kind     of stuff, too, these days. [18:00] Kasumi     H-Hanako-san... [18:02] Hanako     Like, Takezou x Billy, right? [18:05] Kasumi     Wh-Who is that? [18:07] Olivia     I have no idea what's going on,     but you're writing a novel? [18:11] Kasumi     Y-Yes. [18:12] Olivia     Have you chosen a title yet? [18:14] Kasumi     N-No, not yet. [18:15] Hanako     Hey, I have a good one. [18:17] ---     Huh? What is it? [18:19] Kasumi     "Anal Bum Cover." [18:22] Sensei     Honda-san! [18:23] Sensei     Please don't tarnish my bible! [18:25] Hanako     S-Sensei, what are you talking about? [18:28] Kasumi     Um... [18:29] Kasumi     Can we take this seriously? [18:31] Hanako     But I was serious! [18:32] Hanako     The protagonist, one day, starts     firing laser beams from his butt. [18:36] Kasumi     You aren't serious at all! [18:37] Maeda     You called, Hanako-sama? [18:40] Kasumi     Stab him with the eraser! [18:43] Hanako     Kasumi-san! [18:44] Maeda     I can be of use to     Kasumi-san's novel writing? [18:47] Maeda     I shall gladly submit myself to that purpose. [18:49] Hanako     Have you ever submitted yourself to anal? [18:51] Maeda     Oh, when you say novel, do     you mean one of that genre? [18:54] Maeda     My apologies, I'm not very     versed in that field. [18:58] Maeda     But for you, Hanako-sama, I shall     head to Nichome with some vaseline. [19:01] Hanako     Oh, it's nothing that serious. [19:03] Hanako     It's more of a light fantasy. [19:06] Maeda     Fantasy... [19:08] Maeda     Something like a goblin x dwarf? [19:10] Hanako     What kind of nasty trash is that?! [19:10] Maeda     Oh, Santa Maria, forgive me Lord... [19:12] Hanako     Not that kind of fantasy! [19:14] Hanako     You have to have given up on your own     humanity to read something like that! [19:17] Maeda     But my friend's niece is into that     kind of hardcore doujinshi stuff. [19:19] Hanako     Stop! I don't want to hear any more! [19:21] Maeda     Gobdwarfs. [19:22] Hanako     Please don't abbreviate it     like you're in the know! [19:25] Hanako     Sorry, Kasumi-san.     That was a weird thing to hear. [19:30] Hanako     Come to think of it, I thought     you had a fear of men. [19:33] Hanako     Are you really okay with men on men? [19:34] Kasumi     T-Two-D stuff is okay. [19:37] Kasumi     2D doesn't come out of the page. [19:39] Kasumi     They're totally safe. [19:41] Kasumi     Even better if they have     no interest in women. [19:44] Hanako     I-I see. [19:46] Olivia     Kasumi, you're going to end up     like Sensei, talking like that. [19:53] Kasumi     Sucks for you. I can totally     tolerate living like that. [19:58] Sensei     My life is one to be tolerated?! [20:00] Maeda     Um, I don't know if this would be of any use     for a BL novel, but may I share a story? [20:06] Olivia     Sure. [20:07] Kasumi     Thank you. [20:09] Maeda     Long long ago, there was a     sixth-year college student. [20:14] Maeda     On the morning of an exam     which would determine [20:16] Maeda     whether or not he'd fail     the year a third time, [20:17] Maeda     he was abducted out of     the blue by men in black. [20:22] Maeda     The men in black restrained the     student inside a square room, [20:25] Maeda     and began probing his butt. [20:28] Alien     This is an excellent ass. [20:31] Alien B     Let us hide our weapon of     destruction inside here. [20:35] Maeda     When he came to, he was     back where he was before, [20:38] Maeda     but a day had apparently passed, and     hooray, he failed for a third time. [20:42] Maeda     His life soon became a living hell. [20:48] Maeda     Every time he took a dump,     he would destroy the toilet. [20:52] Maeda     He would find part-time     jobs, only to be fired, [20:54] Maeda     on grounds of destroying their toilets. [20:56] Maeda     One day, when he had resigned himself     to a fate of homelessness... [21:01] Man     What's wrong, buddy? [21:03] Man     What happened to you? [21:04] Maeda     Get lost, old bastard. [21:06] Man     Hold on, let me get a good look. [21:09] Man     Why is your ass crack so torn?! [21:12] Maeda     Don't touch it! [21:13] Maeda     It's dangerous. [21:14] Maeda     What if I suddenly fired a beam? [21:17] Maeda     I don't know how I ended     up with this implant. [21:20] Maeda     I can't control it myself, either. [21:23] Maeda     I can't go back to my old life. [21:29] Man     All right, come with me. [21:31] Man     I'll teach you how to control your butt. [21:36] Maeda     The man who saved me that day... [21:40] Maeda     Was Hanako-sama's grandfather. [21:42] Olivia     Wait, it's a true story? [21:44] Olivia     That's freaky! [21:45] Sensei     A-Are you okay now? [21:47] Maeda     Yes, thank you. [21:48] Maeda     I only destroy the toilet     when I have diarrhea now. [21:51] Hanako     And every time, I have to wait until the     seat's fixed to use the toilet, damn it! [21:54] Olivia     So you're still destroying them! [21:55] Maeda     How's that? [21:56] Maeda     Does that give you any inspiration? [21:59] Kasumi     U-Um... [22:02] Kasumi     I feel so sick. [22:03] Narrator     And so Nomura Kasumi's distaste     for men was further exacerbated. 5 - Devilish Taste | Loaded Questions | Maeda's Curse | Sex Ed Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Devilish Taste [01:42] Hanako     Hey, Maeda... [01:44] Hanako     You know how they say pets tend     to look like their owners? [01:48] Hanako     This kid looks nothing like me, right? [01:51] Maeda     Quite true. [01:54] Maeda     I can't possibly tell her, but when she     was napping on this sofa the other day... [02:00] Maeda     She looked just like it. [02:04] Hanako     I'm going to be late for the meet-up. [02:07] Maeda     Where are you headed today? [02:08] Hanako     I'm working on a social studies group     presentation with Olivia and Kasumi-san. [02:12] Hanako     See you. [02:13] Maeda     Hanako-sama... [02:15] Maeda     Uh... [02:17] Maeda     You're just so charming today,     you almost knocked me out. [02:21] Hanako     I know, right? [02:25] Olivia     Kasumi. [02:26] Olivia     Did you wait? [02:27] Kasumi     No, I just got here about ten minutes ago. [02:31] Olivia     We haven't met each other     in plain clothes before. [02:32] Kasumi     You're right. [02:34] Olivia     You look so grown-up in a long skirt. [02:37] Kasumi     D-Do I? [02:38] Kasumi     You look nice, too, Olivia-san. [02:42] Olivia     I'm just wearing a tee-shirt and shorts. [02:43] Kasumi     I know, but... [02:46] Kasumi     I feel like you need a certain amount of     confidence to pull off that simple look. [02:51] Olivia     I wonder how Hanako's going to come dressed. [02:53] Kasumi     She might show up in a yukata or something. [02:55] Olivia     I can see that. [02:56] Olivia     Or wearing brand clothes head-to-toe. [02:57] Kasumi     She's rich, after all. [02:59] Hanako     I'm here. [03:00] Olivia     Hana— [03:02] Olivia     —ko. [03:09] Hanako     Sorry, it took a while. [03:11] Olivia     Hanako... [03:13] Olivia     Did you bang your head on the way here? [03:15] Hanako     What? [03:16] Hanako     What is that supposed to mean? [03:17] Olivia     I mean, you couldn't dress like     that if you're in your right mind. [03:21] Hanako     What's this? [03:23] Hanako     This isn't quite like the prêt-à-porter     they sell at the mall. [03:27] Hanako     It's a one-of-a-kind haute couture     piece by an up-and-coming designer. [03:31] Hanako     Haute couture! [03:33] Hanako     Ohtokchuure! SIGN    Ohtokchuure!!! [03:35] Kasumi     It suddenly sounds like a     lame world history mnemonic. [03:39] Kasumi     I like it. It's very you. [03:42] Hanako     Huh? [03:43] Hanako     This is the Harajuku fashion     that's in style right now. [03:45] Olivia     She's totally got the wrong idea. [03:49] Olivia     Okay, why don't we start our assignment? [03:51] Hanako     Okay. [03:52] Kasumi     Yes. [03:52] Kasumi     First, want to order something? SIGN    Watermelon [03:59] Olivia     Glance... [04:01] Kasumi     Glance... [04:02] Olivia     Uh oh... [04:03] Kasumi     I can't focus at all. [04:06] Person A     What's up with her? [04:07] Person B     Jeez, I have no idea. [04:14] Kasumi     I-I'm sorry! [04:16] Hanako     Oh, did it jab me? [04:17] Hanako     Hey, teach me how to do that, Kasumi-san. [04:21] Kasumi     Pen spinning, you mean? [04:22] Kasumi     I think you kind of spin it     around the base of your thumb. [04:26] Hanako     All right. [04:32] Hanako     What the heck? [04:33] Hanako     It's so hard! [04:35] Kasumi     You don't spin your whole arm. [04:38] Kasumi     It'll spin on its own if you push your     middle finger towards your thumb. [04:45] Kasumi     That's it. [04:46] Kasumi     Keep that up for a while and     you'll be able to do it. [04:48] Hanako     All right. [04:50] Hanako     This time! [04:53] ---     And so then... [04:54] Person A     Hot! [04:58] Person B     Fire! [05:05] Person A     It's the devil! [05:06] Person A     There was a girl who looked like the     devil who flung something at me! [05:10] Person A     Didn't you see her? [05:11] Person A     She looked like a demon, with horns! [05:14] Hanako     N-No. [05:16] Hanako     Hey, Olivia... [05:17] Hanako     I'm going to grow out of Harajuku style now. [05:21] Olivia     I told you, that's not Harajuku style. SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Loaded Questions [05:30] Hanako     Olivia. [05:32] Hanako     You're late. [05:33] Kasumi     G-Good work on cleaning duty. [05:36] Kasumi     You were kind of out of it today. [05:38] Olivia     Hey, guys, I have something important     to tell you. Hear me out. [05:45] Olivia     There's a boy in this school. [05:50] Hanako     Oh, sure. [05:52] Olivia     Come on, I'm serious here! It's true! [05:55] Hanako     How am I supposed to react to that? [05:57] Hanako     Is something wrong? [05:59] Olivia     Well... [06:00] Olivia     I was sleeping last night, and there     was some noise from the window. [06:04] Guy     That's not true! [06:05] Olivia     I can't sleep... [06:07] Girl     We need to confront fate. [06:07] Olivia     I took a peek, and there     was a couple fighting. [06:12] (Flashback) Guy     What are you even talking about?! [06:13] (Flashback) Guy     Seriously, I don't get it. Why are     you suddenly breaking up with me? [06:16] (Flashback) Guy     I love you, man! [06:18] (Flashback) Girl     I'm sorry, but I can't lie any more. [06:22] (Flashback) Girl     I have what you have on my lower half. [06:29] (Flashback) Guy     #%^(&@... [06:35] (Flashback) Girl     I thought that's how you'd react. [06:38] (Flashback) Girl     I'm sorry. [06:39] (Flashback) Guy     Wait! [06:40] (Flashback) Guy     I love you, even if you have one! [06:46] Olivia     This is so nice! [06:48] Olivia     It's the kind of thing*     Kasumi likes, isn't it? [06:51] Olivia     And I was like... [06:52] Kasumi     Hang on a second! [06:53] Olivia     Wait, Kasumi. Don't butt in     while I'm telling a story. [06:56] Kasumi     No, I have to make things clear! [06:59] Olivia     But you like that kind of thing, don't you? [07:00] Kasumi     That's a cross dresser! [07:02] Kasumi     It's like BL, but not! [07:04] Kasumi     That's outside of what I can accept! [07:05] Olivia     You're such a pain. [07:07] Kasumi     I'm not a pain at all! [07:09] Olivia     So that's when I noticed something huge. [07:13] Olivia     That girl... [07:14] Olivia     She was wearing our uniform. [07:16] Kasumi     I'm scared. [07:18] Hanako     No, er... It must have been a mistake. [07:20] Olivia     I know what I saw! [07:21] Olivia     She's definitely among us, like an alien! [07:23] Kasumi     W-Was there anyone who could have     been suspicious at this school? [07:28] Olivia     Could it be... her? [07:30] Kasumi     Gulp... [07:32] Olivia     Takayanagi-senpai from third year is     a bit suspicious, don't you think? [07:35] Hanako     Now that you mention it... [07:36] Kasumi     She does seem a bit manly. [07:39] Olivia     Right? [07:39] Olivia     She's the captain of the swimming     club, but she's suspicious, right? [07:42] Kasumi     Olivia! [07:43] Kasumi     She can't be, if she's in the swimming club! [07:45] Kasumi     Why did you even mention her? [07:47] Olivia     And then there's... [07:48] Olivia     Her. [07:50] Hanako     What? Who's next? [07:53] Olivia     No, believe me, the next     one is really suspicious? [07:55] Kasumi     Wh-Who? [07:56] Olivia     Oka-san, from Class 2-4! [07:58] Kasumi     She's just creepy by a different measure! [08:02] Hanako     Man, I think you just made a mistake. [08:05] Hanako     Maybe he borrowed his sister's     uniform or something. [08:07] Olivia     That could be it. [08:08] Kasumi     Um... [08:10] Kasumi     Wasn't there someone from     our class who's always [08:13] Kasumi     changing in the washroom for Phys Ed class? [08:16] Olivia     O-Oh yeah. [08:17] Kasumi     She's always sitting out     during swimming class, too. [08:20] Olivia     She's suspicious. [08:21] Hanako     I heard she's allergic to chlorine. [08:23] Hanako     And you're talking about her, right? [08:25] Hanako     She doesn't seem that way at all. [08:27] Kasumi     Sh-Sh-Should we ask her, just in case? [08:29] Olivia     Yeah. [08:30] Hanako     Yeah. [08:31] Hanako     U-Um, Aozora-san... [08:37] Hanako     Th-There's no way! [08:39] Hanako     She's Aozora Tsugumi-chan,     the cutest girl at school! [08:41] Kasumi     But... [08:42] Hanako     How are we even going to ask her? [08:44] Hanako     Could you really go up to her     and be, like, "Are you a guy"? [08:47] Olivia     Hey, w-want to play a game? [08:51] Aozora     A game? [08:52] Olivia     It's a game where you have     to guess why I talked to you. [08:57] Kasumi     O-Olivia starts talking like a fake     foreigner when she's nervous, I guess. [09:02] Aozora     Sure, that sounds fun. [09:04] Hanako     Nice! [09:05] Hanako     Good job, Olivia. [09:07] Hanako     Now we have a reason to talk to her. [09:09] Olivia     Yes! [09:10] Olivia     Okay, Aozora-san, I'm going     to start with a problem. [09:14] Olivia     Ask me questions about it. [09:16] Olivia     I'll answer either "yes,"     "no," or "irrelevant." [09:20] Olivia     Okay, here I go. [09:22] Olivia     I-I couldn't sleep last night. [09:25] Olivia     Why could that be? [09:28] Aozora     Does that have something to     do with why you talked to me? [09:31] Olivia     Y-Yes. [09:34] Hanako     Wait, Aozora-san talks with     a male first-person pronoun? [09:37] Kasumi     I think that settles it right there. [09:38] Hanako     She could just be a bokukko. [09:40] Hanako     We don't know yet. [09:41] Aozora     Were we really noisy in that argument? [09:45] Olivia     Y-Yes. [09:47] Aozora     Could you hear what we were saying? [09:51] Olivia     N-No. [09:54] Hanako     Olivia! [09:55] Hanako     Why are you hesitating?! [09:56] Olivia     Sorry, she scared me a little. [09:58] Aozora     How much did you hear? [10:00] Olivia     U-Up to the part about you being a... [10:04] Aozora     Staaaaaaaare. [10:07] Olivia     No! [10:08] Olivia     I can't stand this tension anymore! [10:11] Aozora     I know why you talked to me now. [10:13] Aozora     But that's a mistake. [10:16] Aozora     I just told a lie because I kind     of wanted to break up with him. [10:19] Aozora     Although it didn't work out. [10:21] Olivia     O-Oh, I see. [10:25] Olivia     Sorry, I had the wrong idea. [10:28] Kasumi     Scary... [10:28] Kasumi     But why do you always change     in the washroom for Phys Ed? [10:34] Aozora     I mean, I'm embarrassed to change     in front of everyone else. [10:39] Kasumi     S-So cute. [10:41] Hanako     So fake! [10:43] N     Hanako was the only one for whom her     animalistic sense of danger kicked in. SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Maeda's Curse [10:54] President     Oka-san... [10:56] President     I'm very sorry, [10:58] President     but you're the only one left in the     Supernatural Phenomena Science Club. [11:02] President     If you don't find people     by the end of the term, [11:04] President     I'll have to downgrade you     to a circle for next team. [11:08] President     W-We'll provide 10,000 yen in     club fees, even as a circle. [11:19] President     Th-That was scary. [11:24] Oka     What can I do? [11:27] Oka     Two of them graduated, one transferred,     and the last one was teleported. [11:34] Oka     I wonder if there's anyone around     who's interested in the occult. [11:40] Hanako     Here we go. [11:41] Hanako     Kokkuri-san, Kokkuri-san, are you there? SIGN    Pastimers Club [11:44] Hanako     If you are, move to "yes." SIGN    Yes [11:51] Hanako     Who put that weird patch on my pants? [11:56] [SONG] Text     Ma [11:57] [SONG] Text     e [11:58] [SONG] Text     da [11:59] Hanako     Damn it, I knew it! [12:01] Kasumi     I moved it thinking it would be Maeda-san. [12:04] Kasumi     I'm so glad everyone thought the same. [12:05] Olivia     I thought it'd be Maeda-chan, too. [12:07] Hanako     Okay, Olivia, is there anything     you want to ask next? [12:09] Olivia     Let's see... [12:12] Oka     Um... that... [12:15] Hanako     I-I'm sorry! [12:16] Hanako     We were just messing around! [12:18] Oka     You're Kokkuri-san, right? [12:19] Hanako     No, she's from Class 4. [12:21] Oka     No, err... [12:24] Oka     Do you like the occult? [12:27] Hanako     No, not really. [12:31] Hanako     Huh? [12:32] Kasumi     What? [12:33] Olivia     Want to play with us? [12:37] Oka     Okay, just a little. [12:39] Olivia     Hey, now that I get a better     look, it's Oka-san from Class 4. [12:42] Kasumi     You don't need a good look to see that! [12:44] Oka     Yes. [12:45] Oka     I'm a member of the Supernatural     Phenomena Science Club, [12:47] Oka     also known as the SuperSci Club. [12:50] Oka     But I'm the only member right now. [12:53] Oka     We'll end up being downgraded to a     circle next term, unless things change. [12:58] Oka     We'll be the same as the Pass Club. [13:03] Hanako     Huh? [13:04] Hanako     We aren't even recognized as     a circle right now, are we? [13:07] Olivia     Oh, hey, do you know of any     occult-ish games, then? [13:11] Oka     Occult-ish games, huh? [13:13] Oka     Let's see... [13:15] Oka     One-person hide-and-seek. [13:17] Olivia     How does that work? [13:18] Oka     Do you have any plushies or anything? [13:20] Oka     Does this work? [13:21] Oka     Okay, I'll give a quick explanation. [13:24] Oka     You're supposed to do this at night, [13:26] Oka     but since this is just a     game, let's ignore that part. SIGN    Cotton [13:29] Oka     Step one... [13:30] Oka     Pull the cotton out from inside. SIGN    Nails Rice Red string [13:33] Oka     Two... [13:34] Oka     Replace it with rice and nails,     and sew it back with red string. [13:38] Oka     Three... [13:39] Oka     Tie the left over string around     it, and give him a name. [13:44] Oka     What would you like to name him? [13:45] Hanako     Maeda, then. [13:47] Oka     Let's make a team with the four of us. [13:50] Hanako     Okay, Team Pass Club. [13:51] Oka     First to be it is Team Pass Club. [13:54] Oka     First to be it is Team Pass Club. [13:56] Oka     First to be it is Team Oka Ken. [13:59] Hanako     Huh? [13:59] Hanako     Did she just take over? [14:00] Oka     Okay, now we put this in the sink. SIGN    Girls [14:03] Oka     Let's go to the washroom, everyone. [14:08] Oka     Is there a TV anywhere? [14:11] Kasumi     Oh, I get 1seg on my phone. [14:15] Oka     Close your eyes for ten seconds. SIGN    Girls [14:18] Oka     And come back, and... [14:20] Oka     Found you, Maeda. [14:27] Oka     Maeda's it now. [14:30] Oka     Now, let's go hide with a cup of salt water. [14:35] Oka     Where shall we hide? [14:37] Kasumi     How about under the club room table, then? SIGN    Pastimers Club [14:44] Oka     Oh, man... [14:46] Oka     This is so fun. [14:50] Hanako     Wh-What?! [14:52] Hanako     Hey, what part of this is occult? [14:55] Oka     From what I heard, the doll will     come looking for us or something. [15:01] Hanako     No way! [15:02] Hanako     This is one of those curse things! [15:05] Oka     Wait up. [15:07] Oka     If we're going to go look for him, we     have to drink the salt water together. [15:11] Hanako     Okay, okay. [15:12] Oka     We each just need a sip. [15:14] Oka     We need to leave some to throw onto the doll. SIGN    Girls [15:18] Hanako     Maeda! [15:26] Oka     Wait, is it actually gone? [15:30] Oka     Oh, no. [15:32] Oka     We have to find it quick. [15:34] Oka     Or it's going to look for us forever. [15:39] Oka     Someone! [15:40] Oka     Has anyone seen a turd     with a box cutter stuck in it?! [15:42] Oka     A turd with a box cutter in it! [15:43] Kasumi     H-Hanako-san! [15:47] Kasumi     Olivia-san, are you okay? [15:48] Olivia     I was playing it cool, but I'm     mad chicken with horror, dawg! [15:53] Kasumi     Okay, I got it. [15:54] Kasumi     You're so scared that you     go out of character, huh? [15:56] Sensei     Sorry, I'm late. SIGN    Pastimers' Club Club Notes [15:58] Hanako     Sensei! [15:59] Hanako     Have you seen Maeda? [16:00] Sensei     N-Not today. [16:03] Hanako     Sensei! [16:04] Hanako     If you see a turd with a box cutter in it, [16:06] Hanako     it's Maeda, so say "I found     you!" and set it on fire! [16:09] Sensei     I wonder if she's been snorting     too much Ha**yturn powder. [16:12] Kasumi     Sensei, Olivia-san... [16:14] Olivia     How do we run away from poo? [16:18] Sensei     Olivia-san, want to come to     the nurse's office with me? [16:21] Hanako     I shouldn't have played     one-person hide-and-seek! [16:25] Sensei     Is that that cooking show on TV? [16:27] Hanako     My life is over! [16:29] Person A     Who the hell leaves a turd in the sink? Jeez. [16:32] Person B     We're such good people, fixing the drain. SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Sex Ed [16:46] Person A     Hey, where should we go today? [16:48] Person B     Sorry, I'm meeting up     with my boyfriend after. [16:50] Person A     Really? [16:51] Person A     Oh, is it that guy who hit on you before? [16:54] Person B     Yeah, we ended up actually     going steady after that. [16:56] Person A     Good for you. [16:57] Person A     I'm going to Maihama Sea     with my boyfriend next week. [17:00] Person B     Lucky. [17:01] Person B     I think I'll beg him, too. [17:03] Person A     Do it. [17:04] Person A     In fact, why don't we make it a double date? [17:05] Person B     That sounds awesome. SIGN    Pastimers' Club [17:08] Hanako     I want a boyfriend. [17:13] Olivia     Why? [17:14] Hanako     Why?! [17:14] Hanako     A girl's gonna want a     boyfriend or two, you know?! [17:21] Olivia     Isn't it too much trouble? [17:22] Hanako     It's not too much trouble! [17:23] Hanako     I want to go to Sea with my boyfriend! [17:25] Olivia     Hanako... [17:26] Olivia     Why don't you go with     Maeda-chan if you want a guy? [17:28] Hanako     What fun is there in going with Maeda?! [17:31] Hanako     I want a boy my age! [17:34] Olivia     Okay, okay. [17:36] Olivia     Kasumi. [17:37] Hanako     You're late. [17:38] Kasumi     I had day duty. [17:40] Kasumi     What were you guys talking     so excitedly about? [17:42] Hanako     Boyfriends. [17:43] Kasumi     Huh? [17:46] Kasumi     Shouldn't you be talking about something     a little more meaningful to your lives? [17:52] Olivia     S-Sorry. [17:55] Hanako     But you know, Kasumi-san,     you say that, but... [17:59] Hanako     I know your type is the first to get married. [18:04] Kasumi     Who gave you that data? [18:06] Olivia     I don't know if you can have     a boyfriend, though, Hanako. [18:10] Hanako     What's that supposed to mean?! [18:11] Olivia     You have a dirty personality. [18:12] Olivia     To have a boyfriend, you     have to be, more, floaty. [18:18] Hanako     I see. [18:19] Hanako     Floaty, huh? [18:21] Hanako     Your opinion, as someone who     doesn't have a boyfriend, [18:23] Hanako     isn't worth more than a poopy sheet of     toilet paper that's gone down the toilet. [18:25] Hanako     But I'll take it into consideration. [18:26] Olivia     Ouch! [18:27] Olivia     That's what I'm talking about! [18:29] Hanako     All right, I'm going to be the     world's top boyfriended woman! [18:34] Kasumi     Wait, was that the scale of     what we were talking about? [18:37] Olivia     What do you even want to do     with a boyfriend, anyway? [18:40] Hanako     Um... [18:42] Hanako     This might be a bit early, but... [18:47] Hanako     This is so embarrassing. [18:49] Hanako     I want to hold hands and walk together. [18:56] Hanako     And then I want to get married     at about 25 and have two babies. [19:01] Olivia     Do you know how babies are made? [19:03] Hanako     O-Of course I do. [19:05] Hanako     They're made when you French kiss, right? [19:07] Kasumi     Do you even know what a French kiss is? [19:10] Hanako     It has the word "kiss" in it, but it's     something that isn't actually, right? [19:13] Kasumi     No, it's kissing. [19:14] Hanako     Really? [19:15] Hanako     Then what's Frenching? [19:17] Kasumi     Um... [19:18] Olivia     Oh, I know. [19:20] Olivia     Maybe it's a corruption of "frontal cocks kisses." [19:25] Hanako     So... [19:26] Olivia     If you kiss with his cock     out, you'll have a baby. [19:28] Hanako     I get it. [19:29] Kasumi     Hold up! [19:30] Kasumi     That's totally wrong! [19:31] Kasumi     It has nothing to do with     full frontal anythings! [19:35] Kasumi     To have a baby, you... [19:40] Kasumi     You... [19:42] Kasumi     You dock. [19:46] Kasumi     You dock. [19:48] Kasumi     This is why I hate men! [19:51] Olivia     What was that? [19:51] Olivia     A robot transformation? [19:52] Hanako     Okay, can you use these dolls     to explain how to make babies? [19:57] Kasumi     W-With dolls? [19:59] Kasumi     Okay, then. [20:00] Kasumi     Um... [20:08] Kasumi     I'm sorry, this is the best I can do. [20:10] Kasumi     I don't know what I'm doing anymore. [20:12] Hanako     What is this? [20:13] Hanako     What's even going on? [20:14] Olivia     The guy gets on top of the girl. [20:17] Hanako     What does he do on top? [20:19] Olivia     The person on top sends radio     waves from his brain to hers. [20:23] Olivia     "Create child." [20:24] Olivia     "We spawn child." [20:26] Kasumi     That's horror! [20:27] Kasumi     That's totally horror! SIGN    Pastimers' Club Club Notes [20:28] Sensei     Guys, sorry I'm late. [20:31] Olivia     Sensei, I'm glad you're here. [20:32] Olivia     There's something I want to ask you. [20:33] Olivia     How are babies made? [20:35] Sensei     Huh? [20:36] Sensei     Didn't you learn in health class? [20:40] Sensei     Oh, dear. [20:42] Sensei     Well, you see... [20:44] Sensei     The man... [20:47] Sensei     The man's thing goes there, and... [20:51] Sensei     I can't explain it out loud. [20:53] Sensei     I don't know, either. [20:55] Olivia     Aww. [20:56] Hanako     What can you expect? She's not married. [20:59] Sensei     They're so easily convinced! [21:00] Hanako     I wish someone would     explain using these dolls. [21:04] Sensei     I can, as long as I don't     have to explain in words. [21:06] Hanako     But you said you don't know. [21:08] Sensei     The answer just suddenly came to me. [21:10] Sensei     So... [21:12] Sensei     The way my friend explained     it the other day... [21:15] (Flashback) Friend     Oh my gosh, it was the best. [21:20] Sensei     It was like... [21:24] Olivia     A circus? [21:25] Sensei     My friend said it felt really good. [21:30] Kasumi     Sensei... [21:31] Kasumi     You could have just kept it normal. [21:33] Hanako     Sensei, I don't get it. [21:36] Sensei     Okay, I'll make one that's     easier to understand. [21:45] Hanako     Seeing this, I feel like... [21:47] Hanako     I don't really care to have kids anymore. [21:50] Hanako     Tuition's expensive and stuff. [21:51] Olivia     Yeah. [21:52] Sensei     I-I kind of want one. [21:55] N     Will there ever be a solution     to the declining birth rate? SIGN    Japanese Pastimes, Please [23:33] ---     Hey! I've seen this at some kind of museum! SIGN    Sex Ed Dolls SIGN    The Hakone Open-air Muse— 6 - Asterisk | Studying for Exams | A New Look | Spirited Combat, Again Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Asterisk [01:35] Oka     Would you like to read     Key of Solomon together? [01:39] Hanako     Um... [01:41] Hanako     You say that like you'd say "Want to     read a fashion magazine together?" [01:44] Hanako     But that's not a fashion magazine, is it? [01:46] Oka     You're right. [01:48] Oka     But it's one of the more     well-known magic books. [01:52] Hanako     Yeah, but magic books as a     whole aren't really mainstream. [01:57] Kasumi     How has your hunt for     club members been going? [02:00] Oka     No one, yet. [02:01] Hanako     Why did you end up on your     own all of a sudden, anyway? [02:04] Oka     Um... [02:05] Oka     Two graduated, one transferred,     and the last one got teleported. [02:11] Kasumi     She says it like she just faxed them. [02:13] Hanako     So two graduated and two transferred, right? [02:17] Oka     No, one got teleported. [02:19] Hanako     It's okay, that's what I heard. [02:22] Kasumi     But teleported where? [02:24] Oka     Well... [02:25] Oka     She's been saying she wanted to go, so possibly to the River Styx, [02:30] Oka     which would take her to Hades. [02:33] Kasumi     She says it like she went to visit Skytree. [02:36] Hanako     So what's the name of this     person that got teleported? [02:39] Oka     Agrippa. [02:40] Hanako     No, not her nickname, her real name. [02:42] Oka     Mato Aguri. [02:44] Hanako     All right. [02:45] Hanako     Let's head to the faculty room. [02:47] Kasumi     Yeah. [02:48] Oka     Wh-Why? [02:49] Hanako     Let's ask the teachers what happened to her. SIGN    Faculty Room [02:53] Sensei     Mato-san? [02:54] Hanako     Was there anyone with that name in our year? [02:58] Sensei     Um, hang on. [03:00] Sensei     Oh, there was, in Class 1. [03:02] Hanako     What happened to her? [03:05] Sensei     U-Um... [03:07] Sensei     It looks like she's ill. [03:13] Oka     What do you mean by that? [03:14] Oka     Ill? [03:15] Oka     I never heard about this! [03:18] Sensei     Y-Yeah? [03:22] Oka     Where is she? [03:24] Oka     Which hospital is she at? [03:27] Sensei     If she hasn't told you herself,     I'm not sure I should. [03:33] Sensei     But hey, don't worry too much. [03:37] Sensei     She'll be all better and     back at school soon enough. [03:40] Sensei     You can see her then. [03:47] Hanako     Th-Thank you, Sensei. SIGN    Pastimers Club [03:54] Olivia     Oka-san, are you okay? [04:00] Kasumi     Did Mato-san seem ill at all? [04:04] Oka     I can't believe I didn't notice, but     just before she got teleported... [04:11] (Flashback) Noto     Hey, have you read Heptaméron? [04:14] (Flashback) Oka     I have. [04:15] (Flashback) Noto     I heard it was written by Pietro d'Abano,     but apparently that's BS. [04:20] (Flashback) Oka     Yeah, Pietro d'Abano is      from the 13th century, [04:23] (Flashback) Oka     and Heptaméron is supposed to have     been written in the late 16th century. [04:27] (Flashback) Noto     I know. [04:29] (Flashback) Noto     But... [04:33] (Flashback) Noto     Hang on, I'm going to lie down for a bit. [04:39] (Flashback) Oka     Are you sick? [04:42] (Flashback) Noto     No, not at all. [04:44] (Flashback) Noto     I'm just tired from P.E. again. [04:47] (Flashback) Oka     Okay. [04:52] (Flashback) Noto     Hey... [04:53] (Flashback) Noto     I'm secretly making the Fifth     Pentacle of the Sun right now. [05:01] (Flashback) Noto     So if I suddenly vanish one day, [05:04] (Flashback) Noto     just think of it as being because     my transportation magic worked. [05:11] (Flashback) Oka     You're always so ambitious, Agrippa. [05:18] (Flashback) Oka     But please don't vanish on me. [05:24] Oka     That happened shortly before she went away. [05:30] Oka     Why didn't I notice what was happening? [05:41] Olivia     Oka-san! [05:41] Olivia     What about magic? [05:43] Olivia     Is there any magic that'll     help her get better? [05:46] Oka     That stuff doesn't really work. [05:49] Olivia     Wait! [05:50] Olivia     Why are you suddenly being so realistic? [05:52] Olivia     You always have so much     blind faith in the occult. [05:54] Olivia     Please don't come to your senses now. [05:59] Oka     Olivia-san... [06:02] Oka     Do you think someone even at my     level could make a difference? [06:07] Olivia     You would! [06:08] Olivia     It would definitely work! [06:10] Hanako     All right, I'm going to do this magic, too! [06:13] Kasumi     I-I'll help, too. [06:18] Hanako     So what's this magic we're doing? [06:20] Oka     Let's see... [06:21] Oka     How about this doll magic from New Orleans? [06:25] Oka     The voodoo doll. [06:28] Oka     First, fasten two pieces     of wood into a cross. [06:31] Oka     Next, wind it up in string, and     add to it the person's likeness. [06:39] Kasumi     I can't tell how that looks     any different from Oka-san. [06:42] Oka     Next, we prepare marking pins. [06:46] Oka     We use different colored marking     pins depending on what we're doing. [06:50] Oka     We're trying to rid her of the suffering     that is illness, so we use black. [06:56] Oka     And I want to stab the part where she's ill,     and chant, "Suffering, be gone," but... [07:06] Oka     But... [07:09] Oka     Where am I supposed to stab her? [07:13] Oka     Where was Agrippa ill? [07:19] Oka     Why didn't she tell me anything? [07:27] Olivia     Let's stab her all over, then. [07:29] Olivia     We don't have to know where she's sick     if we stab her all over and chant, [07:32] Olivia     "Get better all over." [07:33] Oka     Y-You're right. [07:36] Oka     Get better, Agrippa. [07:40] Oka     Get better... [07:42] Oka     Get better... [07:47] Kasumi     Th-That looks brutal. [07:49] Oka     I hope she gets better now. [07:52] Oka     Oh, I'll go see if there're     more charms that'll work. [07:56] Olivia     Okay. [07:57] Oka     Thank you, Pastimers Club. [08:01] Oka     I shall meet Agrippa again. [08:08] Sensei     Sorry I'm late. [08:10] Sensei     Huh, what were you up to? [08:11] Kasumi     We were praying with a voodoo     doll for Mato-san to get better. [08:15] Sensei     Huh. [08:15] Sensei     Did you stab her butt, too, then? [08:18] Hanako     No, we didn't. Why? [08:20] Sensei     Oh, really? [08:21] Sensei     No, I didn't mean anything by that. [08:23] Sensei     Never mind. [08:25] Sensei     I thought I shouldn't tell them, since     she's getting surgery for hemorrhoids, [08:28] Sensei     but I hope I'm making the right decision. [08:32] Narrator     A week later, they were     reunited with Agrippa. SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Studying for Exams [08:41] Sensei     I'm handing out the results     for the first term exams. [08:44] Sensei     Ando-san. [08:45] Person     Yes. [08:46] Sensei     Ito-san. [08:47] Person     Yes. [08:47] Hanako     Cower before me, pitiful masses. [08:51] Hanako     Behold my true potential. [08:53] Hanako     I've been studying diligently     this whole time, [08:55] Hanako     and then for the last two     weeks before the exam, [08:56] Hanako     I went on just three hours of sleep a day. [08:58] Hanako     The result? An average grade over five     subjects and secondary courses of 98.2. [09:03] Hanako     Shoot, I'm getting the chills,     picturing myself at the peak. [09:09] ---     I'm so turned on! [09:10] Sensei     Honda-san. [09:11] Hanako     Yes. SIGN    Total grade Average Year Ranking 884 98.2 2nd SIGN    Year Ranking 2nd [09:17] Person A     You got first again this     year, Misa-chan? Wow. [09:20] Misa     I'm awesome, right? [09:21] Person A     You're kidding... Weren't     you messing around a lot? [09:23] Misa     That's not true. [09:25] Misa     I was studying with my boyfriend. [09:30] N     And then what happened? SIGN    Pastimers Club [09:33] Hanako     Strange. [09:34] Hanako     Something's not right. [09:36] Hanako     I've been abstaining from fashion and     relationships to focus on my studies. [09:41] Hanako     From the looks of it, I spent a     lot more time studying than her. [09:46] Hanako     So why am I being outdone by a wretched     slut who doesn't take life seriously? [09:51] N     Please understand, audience, [09:53] N     that Hanako's thoughts have become     somewhat violent from the shock. [09:59] N     Hanako had trusted that results     were proportionate to effort. [10:04] N     She didn't want to believe in the possibility [10:09] N     that they had a difference     in innate intelligence, [10:12] N     and that she had lost because     she was not as gifted. [10:14] N     And sadder still, [10:18] N     the other two had bombed, and     were taking remedial classes. [10:23] Hanako     Being by myself is making me stew     in negative thoughts even more. [10:30] Hanako     Kasumi-san did pretty bad     on the English exam again. [10:35] Hanako     What kind of special skills     does it take to do so bad? [10:41] Hanako     You could easily pass by just memorizing     some words and example sentences. [10:48] Hanako     Although she is trying. [10:51] Hanako     Her efforts aren't quite     sticking to her brain. [10:54] Hanako     They're seeping out of her     ears and being converted [10:56] Hanako     into atmospheric nitrogen, I'm sure. [10:59] Hanako     As for Olivia... [11:02] Hanako     Why doesn't she ever study for anything? SIGN    Two weeks before the exams [11:09] (Flashback) Olivia     What're you up to, Hanako? [11:10] (Flashback) Hanako     The term exams are coming up. [11:12] (Flashback) Hanako     I thought I'd make good use of my time. [11:14] (Flashback) Olivia     From two weeks ahead? [11:16] (Flashback) Hanako     You'll be freaking out if you slack     off until a week before, Olivia. [11:22] (Flashback) Olivia     Why not just cram it all the night before? [11:24] (Flashback) Hanako     Cram it? [11:26] (Flashback) Hanako     I don't think you can, with all the     subjects that are on the term exams. [11:28] (Flashback) Olivia     That's not true. [11:30] (Flashback) Olivia     You just need to wing it so you don't fail. [11:33] Hanako     But you did fail! [11:37] Maeda     Hanako-sama, congratulations     on ranking second in the year. [11:40] Hanako     Don't suddenly pop up like that, damn it! [11:42] Maeda     But I was here the whole time. [11:43] Hanako     That's even freakier! [11:45] Hanako     Uh... [11:46] Hanako     How much did you hear? [11:48] Maeda     Huh? [11:48] Maeda     Er, you were silent the whole time. [11:51] Hanako     O-Okay. [11:53] Maeda     But I did sense an aura     of "That girl in first [11:55] Maeda     isn't going to get away with making     it to the top canoodling with boys." [11:59] Hanako     Can't you be a little more tactful?! [12:01] Hanako     But I feel like you're winning     at life if you make first. [12:05] Hanako     How can I not get jealous? [12:07] Maeda     Hanako-sama, I disagree. [12:10] Maeda     You think you've already won or lost     at life at middle school? Hilarious! [12:15] Hanako     Are you cheering me up or making fun of me? [12:18] Maeda     But I'd taken notice of your distress, [12:20] Maeda     and have been working in     secret with your grandfather. [12:24] Hanako     With Grandpa? [12:25] Maeda     Yes. [12:25] Maeda     I'd spoken with him about it before. [12:28] (Flashback) Maeda     Hanako-sama seems to want a lover. [12:31] (Flashback) Grandpa     What? [12:32] (Flashback) Grandpa     Hana-chan does? [12:33] (Flashback) Grandpa     She doesn't even have all of her     pubic hair. She's too young. [12:38] (Flashback) Maeda     No, I'm quite sure she has     a full coat of pubic hair. [12:40] Hanako     I'm going to take both of you      to court for sexual harassment! [12:43] Maeda     And so the two of us built this together... [12:45] Maeda     The Honda family's home-built android, [12:47] Maeda     Eighteen Summer "You Have Such     Beautiful Fingers" Koichi-kun. [12:50] Hanako     Th-This reeks of despair. [12:53] Hanako     You don't need to bother. [12:54] Maeda     Hang on, he has voice functionality, too. [12:57] Android     Come on, this problem isn't even     that hard. You can do better. [13:03] Hanako     He's not bad. [13:04] Maeda     Yes. [13:05] Maeda     The two of us worked hard recording     the voices for you, Hanako-sama. [13:08] Hanako     You two recorded this voice?! [13:09] Maeda     Please, give it a try. [13:12] N     And then what happened? [13:17] Hanako     Th-This is creepier than I thought. [13:20] Android     Hey. [13:21] Android     You made a mistake. [13:22] Hanako     Right. [13:24] Hanako     Sorry. [13:25] Android     Wrong. [13:26] Hanako     Huh? [13:26] Android     You mean, "teehee." [13:28] Hanako     Holy shit, he's annoying! [13:30] Hanako     I don't think I need this. [13:32] Maeda     W-Wait, please! [13:33] Maeda     We made it based on simulations of     conversations that a maiden would enjoy. [13:36] Maeda     By our calculations, he's perfect! [13:37] Hanako     There's no way you and Grandpa could     have made a perfect simulation! [13:41] Hanako     Wait up. [13:42] Android     Hana-chan, has Aunt Flo come to visit? [13:45] Android     You sound vulgar, miss. [13:47] Hanako     You sound just like Grandpa     and it's vulgar as hell! [13:51] Hanako     I'm going to destroy you! [13:54] Maeda     Hanako-sama! [13:55] Olivia     You don't have remedial     classes tomorrow, Kasumi? [13:57] Kasumi     I don't. [13:58] Kasumi     And you got through all the     remedial classes, too, huh? [14:04] Kasumi     We were just gone for remedial classes... [14:07] Kasumi     ...and Hanako-san had killed a man! [14:11] Hanako     Wait, that's not it, you two! [14:12] Hanako     It's a doll! [14:14] Android     Hana-chan, how could you? [14:17] Kasumi     The decapitated head is talking! [14:19] Hanako     That's not what it is! SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    A New Look [14:36] Olivia     So hot... [14:39] Olivia     I want to cut my hair. [14:42] Hanako     A boy birdie and a girl birdie,     flirtie flirt, flirtie flirt... [14:48] Hanako     Olivia, you're already here. [14:53] Hanako     No, Olivia! [14:54] Olivia     What, Hanako? [14:55] Hanako     Don't! [14:57] Hanako     Cutting your hair won't fix your B.O.! [15:02] Olivia     I just wanted to cut my     hair because it's hot. [15:07] Olivia     What did you just say? [15:15] Hanako     Sorry, I lost my memories. [15:17] Hanako     You shouldn't cut it yourself, though. [15:19] Hanako     You have to go to a stylist. [15:21] Olivia     I'll go if I mess up cutting it myself. [15:23] Hanako     Don't! [15:25] Kasumi     Sorry I'm late. [15:26] Kasumi     I stopped by the library. [15:27] Olivia     Let go! Let go! [15:29] Olivia     The scissors! [15:29] Hanako     Get back, I'll stab you! [15:31] Kasumi     Did you break up? [15:32] Olivia     Not at all. [15:33] Olivia     It's just so hot. [15:34] Kasumi     Oh, I see. [15:35] Kasumi     But you have such nice hair,     it'd be a shame to cut it. [15:39] Hanako     She's right. [15:39] Hanako     You have cute curly hair. [15:41] Hanako     Why don't you tie it in a     ponytail if it's too hot? [15:43] Olivia     It gets even more stuffy     inside with a ponytail. [15:46] Olivia     Aren't you hot, Hanako? [15:47] Hanako     I'm fine so far. [15:49] Olivia     Oh. [15:50] Hanako     So how much were you going to cut? [15:52] Olivia     Very short. [15:53] Kasumi     That's even more of a reason to     have a professional do it for you. [15:56] Hanako     Yeah. [15:57] Hanako     If you do it yourself and mess up, [15:59] Hanako     you'll seriously have no choice     but to shave it all off. [16:00] Olivia     I'll try cutting just a little, then. [16:03] Olivia     If I screw up, I'll go see a stylist. [16:15] Olivia     I'm sorry, I can't do it! [16:17] Olivia     Undo it, please! [16:18] Hanako     Nope, nope, nope! [16:19] Olivia     Oh no, I shouldn't have done it! [16:22] Olivia     Hair is what makes a woman! [16:24] Hanako     Exactly, it's what makes a woman! [16:27] Kasumi     U-Um... [16:28] Kasumi     No one can tell the difference. Don't worry. [16:33] Olivia     Oh, really? [16:35] Hanako     Sheesh, don't scare me like that. [16:37] Hanako     Let's try practicing on your bangs, then. [16:39] Kasumi     How has she not learned her lesson?! SIGN    Snip [16:48] Hanako     This is bad! [16:50] Hanako     You cut way too much of your bangs! [16:51] Olivia     You were the one who told me to do it! [16:53] Hanako     I didn't think you'd cut it so far! [16:55] Hanako     Like, a millimeter! [16:55] Hanako     A millimeter! [16:56] Kasumi     H-Hey, that much is... [17:00] Kasumi     hard not to notice. [17:01] Olivia     You aren't trying to cheer me up, are you? [17:03] Olivia     You're trying to finish me off! [17:04] Kasumi     You could fix it by taking hair from     the back and using it as your bangs. [17:08] Olivia     L-Like this? [17:10] Kasumi     Y-Yeah. [17:10] Kasumi     And then cut it to the     same length as your bangs. [17:17] Olivia     I-Is it back to normal? [17:21] Kasumi     It isn't. [17:23] Olivia     Come on, you're killing me! [17:27] Kasumi     It's no use. [17:28] Kasumi     Let's go the stylist's. [17:30] Hanako     Yeah. [17:31] Olivia     But I can't go outside looking like this. [17:34] Hanako     What do we do? [17:35] Kasumi     What shall we do? [17:36] Olivia     Nope. [17:36] Olivia     I'm not leaving this room. [17:38] Sensei     Sorry I'm late, everyone. [17:40] Hanako     Sensei, Olivia's hair! [17:42] Sensei     Huh? What's wrong? [17:43] Olivia     I cut it myself and messed up. [17:45] Sensei     Oh, dear. [17:46] Hanako     Is there any way to hide it? [17:50] Sensei     Okay, why don't you wear a hairband     and just brush your bangs back? [17:53] Olivia     Like this. [17:54] Sensei     Yeah. [17:58] Olivia     I think this could work. [17:59] Olivia     It's cool, too. [18:00] Hanako     You're so smart, Sensei. [18:01] Olivia     Oh, wait, m-my acne. [18:04] Olivia     Never mind. [18:07] Hanako     Is there any other way? [18:10] Olivia     I'm never taking a step     out of this room again. [18:11] Sensei     Um... [18:13] Sensei     All right, I'll tidy it all up for you. [18:16] Sensei     Believe it or not, I'm really     good at cutting bangs. [18:21] Sensei     I cut my own bangs, after all. [18:24] ---     My own... [18:26] ---     Her own? [18:28] Olivia     Wait, Sensei... [18:30] Olivia     Sensei! SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Spirited Combat, Again [18:42] Hanako     Hey, Sensei, you're already here. [18:44] Hanako     Olivia. [18:45] Olivia     How did you get that wrong?! [18:46] Hanako     You have the same bangs. [18:49] Kasumi     Hey, you're already here, Oli-sen— [18:52] Olivia     That was a one-time mistake, right? [18:54] Olivia     Don't you dare make it my nickname! [18:55] Hanako     It sure is hot these days. [18:58] Hanako     The floor's nice and cold. [19:01] Olivia     Isn't that gross, Hanako? [19:03] Hanako     Don't worry, Sensei cleans it every day. [19:06] Kasumi     Oh yeah, there's a game in Hokkaido [19:08] Kasumi     where you pull people out while     they're sitting like that. [19:11] Olivia     What's that? [19:12] Hanako     Oh yeah! [19:13] Hanako     Daikon pulling, right? [19:14] Olivia     Daikon? [19:14] Hanako     You pull the pullee like     they're a daikon root. [19:18] Hanako     This is how Maeda taught me when I was     little, so the rules might be a bit Maedafied. [19:23] Hanako     Okay, Kasumi-san and I will go first. [19:25] Hanako     You can watch. [19:26] Olivia     Okay. [19:27] Hanako     Kasumi-san's the daikon. [19:28] Hanako     If I pull Kasumi-san out     of this circle, I win. [19:34] Olivia     Daikon, takuan, buri     daikon, buri buri buri... [19:42] Olivia     This dance and song are     probably Maeda-chan's rules. [19:46] Hanako     K-Kasumi-san, may I place     my hands on your legs? [19:49] Kasumi     Y-Yes. [19:51] Hanako     R-Really? [19:53] Hanako     Don't hit me later. [19:55] Kasumi     Okay. [19:56] Olivia     Hanako's turning into a horny old dude. [19:58] Hanako     Here I go. [20:04] Hanako     Damn, she's so heavy. [20:19] Hanako     Something like that? [20:21] Olivia     What was that? I don't get it. [20:23] Hanako     I mean, it wouldn't be fun if     I showed you the whole thing, right? [20:26] Hanako     I have to leave the best part     for you to try yourself. [20:29] Kasumi     Hanako-san... [20:31] Kasumi     I'll be it this time. [20:33] Hanako     Y-Yeah. [20:34] Hanako     I feel bad. Sorry. [20:35] Hanako     Okay, Olivia and I are the daikon. [20:38] Olivia     Okay. [20:43] Kasumi     Daikon, takuan, buri     daikon, buri buri buri... [20:49] Olivia     Is that really necessary? [20:53] Hanako     We're moving fast! [20:55] Olivia     Hang in there, Hanako! [21:00] Kasumi     Hanako-san, you have to put more     strength in your lower back. [21:08] Kasumi     Olivia! I'm levitating! [21:10] Olivia     Hanako! [21:11] Olivia     Mommy! Mommy! [21:14] Olivia     Shoot. She's going to take me with her. [21:18] Olivia     Olivia! [21:20] Olivia     Why, Olivia? [21:22] Olivia     Why have you betrayed me? [21:24] Olivia     You're awful! [21:25] Olivia     I don't want to die yet! [21:27] Olivia     I'll see you on the other side, Olivia! [21:42] Kasumi     Was this game always like this? [21:45] Olivia     Things have gotten kind of awkward. [21:48] Kasumi     Nah, Hanako-san was just over-acting. [21:51] Hanako     You were totally into it, too, Kasumi-san. [21:53] Sensei     Sorry I'm late, guys. [21:55] Hanako     Sensei, let's play daikon pulling. [21:57] Sensei     Oh, that's the game where you     tug at each other's legs, right? [22:01] Sensei     I'm pretty good at holding on, you know. SIGN    Noo! [22:07] N     She was the first to get pulled out. 7 - Phantom Thieves: Pass Club | Woman of Terror | Weirdo Go | Boobie Tragedy Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Phantom Thieves: Pass Club SIGN    Pastimers Club [01:36] Aozora     I have to ask you for a favor. [01:39] Aozora     There's something I need you to     find from the student council room. [01:42] Aozora     The Banana Papers. [01:48] Hanako     What's that? [01:51] Aozora     I don't know much either. [01:53] Aozora     I just know they have information     on scandals at school. [01:57] Aozora     And that the Student Council President     is using it to blackmail students. [02:03] Aozora     If it's true, it would be an invasion     of privacy, don't you think? [02:07] Aozora     So please, I want you three to steal it. [02:12] Hanako     I see. [02:13] Hanako     So we just have to use our toys to     steal these so-called Banana Papers. [02:21] Aozora     No, you can use whatever you want. [02:23] Hanako     We can?! [02:24] Olivia     Why would you ask us, then? [02:28] Aozora     Because you smell sketchy. [02:30] Hanako     She won't stop being mean! [02:32] Olivia     B-But I don't think we're     obligated to steal it. [02:39] Aozora     A sumo wrestler figure. [02:40] Olivia     We'll do it! [02:43] Kasumi     Uh... Olivia-sa— [02:44] Aozora     Conversational English for Idiots. [02:46] Kasumi     I'll do what I can. [02:51] Hanako     Y-You aren't going to buy me out that easily. [02:56] Hanako     I'm not that cheap! [02:58] Aozora     And a bottle of nail polish for you, Hana-chan. [02:59] Aozora     From the dollar store. [03:00] Hanako     It's one of the Three Sacred     Treasures of the Popular Kids! [03:06] N     And then what happened? [03:07] Olivia     Hey, what do we do? [03:09] Kasumi     I don't know. [03:10] Olivia     I wonder if there's a good way to grab it. [03:12] Kasumi     There's actually something I want to try. [03:16] Olivia     What's that? [03:17] Kasumi     How about we put out a warning? SIGN    Kasumi the First is coming [03:19] Olivia     Kasumi talks like a complete dolt sometimes. [03:22] Olivia     No way. [03:23] Olivia     That's just going to look super suspicious! [03:26] Kasumi     B-But... [03:27] Kasumi     We can officially be phantom thieves now. [03:29] Olivia     We aren't! [03:30] Kasumi     Boo. [03:32] Hanako     Guys, hear me out. [03:34] Olivia     Hanako. [03:35] Olivia     You're late. [03:36] Hanako     I was getting something ready. [03:38] Hanako     I've been thinking, too,     and I have a good idea. [03:43] Olivia     What's that? [03:45] Hanako     Check it out... [03:47] Hanako     We can get stag beetles to steal it! [03:51] Olivia     Why stag beetles? [03:52] Hanako     Huh? [03:53] Hanako     That's how you steal money     out of offertory boxes. [03:57] Olivia     Please don't say that like that's     some kind of universal common sense! [03:59] Olivia     Besides, there's no way a stag     beetle is going to listen to you. [04:03] Kasumi     A-Also... [04:04] Kasumi     Wouldn't we look stupid,     writing a warning that says [04:07] Kasumi     "We're taking the Banana     Papers... with a stag beetle"? [04:10] Olivia     You were going to spoil our crime     plan in your warning letter?! [04:13] Hanako     Don't worry, man. [04:15] Hanako     Right, Stag-chan? [04:16] Hanako     I mean, Fantômas? [04:18] Olivia     She already gave it a name! [04:19] Olivia     How am I supposed to say "no" when     she's already attached to it?! [04:22] Hanako     It'll work out, I promise. [04:23] Hanako     Believe me. [04:25] Olivia     A-All right. [04:26] Olivia     Screw it, I don't care anymore. [04:28] N     And so Hanako trained the stag beetle. [04:32] N     Day in and day out, the stag beetle     underwent unthinkably arduous training. [04:38] N     And finally, the day has come. [04:41] Olivia     That was hard, hiding from the guard, huh? [04:44] Hanako     Yeah... [04:44] Hanako     I was hiding in the locker the whole     time, but the door wouldn't open. [04:48] Hanako     I thought I was dead. [04:49] Kasumi     The student council office     should be here somewhere. SIGN    Student Council Room [04:52] Olivia     All right. [04:57] Olivia     It's locked. [04:59] Hanako     I got this. [05:00] Hanako     Fantômas, please. [05:05] Hanako     Yeah! Good job! [05:07] Hanako     All that training paid off. [05:09] Kasumi     Th-That's not the stag beetle I know. [05:17] Kasumi     Wh-Where could it be? [05:19] Hanako     Fantômas. [05:26] Hanako     Is this it? [05:27] Olivia     It straight-up says "Banana Papers" on it. [05:29] Kasumi     It's not much of a secret, huh? [05:31] Hanako     Do we just take this with us? [05:33] Olivia     Let's go, hurry. [05:34] Kasumi     Yeah. [05:36] Hanako     Huh? [05:37] President     It's not locked. [05:40] Kasumi     O-Oh, no! SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Woman of Terror [05:51] President     Oh, shoot, I forgot my homework hand-out     on the student council room desk. [05:59] President     But what about the lock? [06:03] President     Huh? [06:05] President     It's not locked. [06:14] Olivia     Wh-What now? [06:16] Hanako     What are we supposed to do? [06:17] Kasumi     What shall we do? [06:19] President     Hand-out, hand-out... [06:22] President     There. [06:27] Olivia     Sh-Shit, she's coming this way. [06:30] Hanako     I'm so scared. [06:33] President     Huh? [06:34] President     The chair we just bought     isn't in the right spot. [06:37] President     Let's put it back. [06:42] President     Wait, crap, I'm scared. [06:44] President     I need to get out of here. [06:55] Olivia     P-Please don't let Hanako... [06:59] Olivia     fart right now. [07:02] Hanako     Sh-Shoot, my butt wants to breathe right now. [07:08] Hanako     Breathe, my butt, without making a voice! [07:15] N     And then what happened? [07:17] Olivia     That was a nightmare. [07:19] Hanako     I said, "I'm sorry!" [07:21] Hanako     I didn't think it would smell     bad if it was a silent one. [07:23] Kasumi     Don't they call those "silent but deadly"? [07:26] Kasumi     But at least we managed to escape. [07:28] Kasumi     Not we just need to hand this over     to Aozora-san, who's waiting outside. [07:31] Hanako     Hey, wait. [07:34] Hanako     Don't you want to get a good look     at what's inside the Banana Papers? [07:38] Olivia     I-I guess. [07:40] Kasumi     I guess we could take a peek. SIGN    Pastimers Club [07:43] Hanako     Okay, here we go. [07:45] Hanako     All the myriad school scandals     laid bare in the Banana Papers! [07:53] Olivia     It's the language teacher. [07:55] Kasumi     What does it say? [07:56] Hanako     Um... [07:58] Hanako     "The language teacher was taken to the     hospital after licking potassium cyanide, [08:01] Hanako     pretending to be a detective." [08:04] Hanako     "His bizarre behavior was     because of the Pastimers Club." [08:12] Hanako     O-Oh yeah, he was gone for,     like, two weeks after that. [08:16] Kasumi     I feel like we've learned something     we shouldn't have known. [08:19] Olivia     What else? SIGN    Mortal Enemies Popular Kids [08:20] Olivia     "The Soft Tennis Club lost     in the regional primaries [08:22] Olivia     after every single player lost in the first     round, having not won a single point." [08:26] Olivia     "The reason for such a result... [08:29] Olivia     is because Honda Hanako left     for the Pastimers Club." [08:33] Olivia     "The reason the Shogi Club president ended     up with complex fractures all over was [08:37] Olivia     because of the Pastimers Club." [08:39] Olivia     "Time until she makes a full recovery and     takes revenge on the Pass Club... 105 days." [08:47] Olivia     "The café fire was caused     by the Pastimers Club." [08:51] Olivia     "The pen that Hanako was     spinning has been recovered." [08:57] Hanako     Guess I'll burn it. [08:58] Olivia     Wait, wait! [08:59] Hanako     Let me go! We need to destroy     it and cover up our many crimes! [09:04] Kasumi     "Our"? [09:05] Kasumi     They were mostly Hanako-san's     fault, weren't they? [09:07] Kasumi     W-Wait up! [09:09] Kasumi     Let's read a little more. [09:11] Kasumi     If we read a little more and find     some secrets besides our own... [09:15] Kasumi     We can use those to our advantage     and put ourselves in power. [09:21] Hanako     Yeah, okay. [09:23] Olivia     All right, let's check the other pages. [09:25] Hanako     Right. [09:26] Hanako     "The guidance counselor and... [09:31] Hanako     the Swimming Club president... [09:36] Hanako     are sisters." [09:40] Hanako     Yeah. [09:41] Olivia     What else? [09:42] Kasumi     That's so believable, it's not even useful. [09:46] Hanako     "Olivia has... [09:49] Hanako     a spicy scent coming from under     her arms and between her boobs." [09:54] Olivia     Who the hell sold me out?! [09:56] Hanako     We didn't! [09:57] Olivia     Lies! [09:58] Olivia     I had that feeling these days,     but I hadn't told anyone about it! [10:01] Olivia     Hanako! It was you, wasn't it? [10:03] Hanako     It wasn't! It wasn't! [10:04] Hanako     Anyone in class would have noticed! [10:09] Olivia     N-No... [10:12] Hanako     Olivia... [10:14] Hanako     It's okay, though. [10:16] Hanako     You fall under the action threshold in the     Ministry of the Environment's odor index. [10:25] Hanako     So you're totally fine. [10:31] Olivia     Hanako... [10:32] Kasumi     Olivia-san... [10:34] Kasumi     I don't think you need to     worry about it, either. [10:38] Kasumi     People abroad say perfumes and stuff     are made to smell good with body odor. [10:46] Kasumi     There are some gentlemen who love that smell. [10:51] Kasumi     And, besides... [10:55] Kasumi     We've gotten used to it. [11:02] Olivia     Guys, I love you. [11:07] Hanako     What should we do next? [11:08] Olivia     I think I want ice cream. [11:10] Kasumi     That sounds good. [11:11] Kasumi     Raskin-Bobbins is open until eleven. [11:13] Olivia     I want chocolate mint. [11:14] Hanako     Chocolate mint? That's toothpaste. [11:17] Olivia     You're missing out if you     don't get that addictiveness. [11:20] Hanako     Sure, sure. [11:31] Aozora     They seriously left this     here and went to grab ice cream? [11:34] Aozora     Girls are seriously stupid. SIGN    Reports regarding Aozora Tsugumi [11:52] Aozora     What should I do with the rest of this book? [11:55] Aozora     I guess I'll photocopy all of     it, and when I give it back, [11:59] Aozora     I suppose I'll use all the information     about the Pastimers Club [12:04] Aozora     to negotiate with them again. SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Weirdo Go [12:19] Hanako     They're still not done with remedial classes. [12:34] Hanako     No one's around, which means     I can make all the faces I want! [12:39] Kasumi     I got out of remedial classes early. [12:43] Kasumi     Crap, I don't feel like going in. [12:46] Kasumi     I should wait a little while after     Hanako-san's done with her crazy, right? [12:51] Kasumi     Things were really bad when     we barged in last time, too. [12:54] Kasumi     I shouldn't go in suddenly. [12:57] Hanako     Oh yeah, Kasumi-san's desk... [13:01] Hanako     She leaves her laptop in there. [13:06] Kasumi     No! [13:07] Kasumi     Not that! [13:08] Kasumi     My super-epic BL novel is in there! [13:12] Kasumi     Please, don't! [13:13] Kasumi     Stop! [13:14] Hanako     Oh man, she's using Windows XP! [13:17] Hanako     Kasumi-san takes really     good care of her stuff. SIGN    Welcome Starting up [13:20] Hanako     It boots up without a password! [13:24] Kasumi     I have to go. [13:24] Kasumi     I still have time! [13:26] Kasumi     Okay! [13:27] Hanako     "Locked Up Love: The Taste of a Boy's Honey." [13:32] Hanako     Let's see... [13:34] Hanako     "The kind senpai from the Ping Pong Club     traps the protagonist in the gym storage." [13:39] Hanako     "'Please, don't!' I screamed     in dread, towards a face [13:39] [SONG] Text     Note: Please enjoy with this imagery extracted      from Hanako's measly imagination. [13:44] Hanako     which I'd thought was so familiar." [13:47] Hanako     "'How could you do this to me?'" [13:50] Hanako     Nice, nice. [13:52] Kasumi     Stop! [13:53] Kasumi     All my secret desires are in there! [13:56] Senpai     I hate to do this to you, but     you'll have to shut up for a bit. [14:01] Protagonist     Is... Is that... [14:05] Protagonist     Is that the extra-sticky type of duct tape?! [14:09] Senpai     That's right. [14:10] Senpai     This is the extra-sticky type of duct tape. [14:16] Hanako     "The duct tape had stuck to Senpai's     tongue, immobilizing him." [14:22] Protagonist     Now! [14:27] Hanako     Weird... [14:28] Hanako     I feel like I just saw something     I wasn't supposed to. [14:32] Hanako     Oh, no... [14:34] Hanako     I can't wait to erase it from my memory. [14:38] Hanako     This is going to mess me up. [14:41] Hanako     Let's put it back. [14:45] Kasumi     I want to know what she thinks. [14:49] Hanako     Kasumi-san, are you done     with remedial classes? [14:51] Kasumi     Hey... [14:53] Kasumi     Um... [14:55] Kasumi     Did you read it? [14:56] Hanako     Norpe. [15:02] Hanako     She had to have seen everything     I was doing to ask that! [15:08] Hanako     I have to change the subject.     I have to distract her. [15:11] Hanako     Hey, you know... [15:13] Hanako     You're pretty... [15:15] Hanako     weird, huh? [15:23] Olivia     I'm finally done with remedial classes. [15:25] Olivia     Huh? What's wrong, you two? [15:28] Kasumi     O-Olivia-san... [15:31] Kasumi     Kill me, please. [15:33] Hanako     Kill me, too! SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Boobie Tragedy [15:42] Olivia     Done. [15:43] Olivia     Look, look. [15:45] Hanako     You're so quick, Olivia. [15:47] Olivia     It's the simplest one. [15:48] Olivia     All I did was make a straight     stitch and run elastic through it. [15:50] Kasumi     We have to take a picture and submit     it along with the clothes, right? [15:53] Kasumi     Here I go. [15:54] Hanako     I can't believe we'd have to submit our     home economics project before summer break. [15:59] Kasumi     I-I'm done, too. [16:01] Hanako     Whoa, Kasumi, you're done your     difficulty level S shirt? [16:04] Olivia     Let's take a picture. [16:06] Kasumi     Hang on, I'll get changed. [16:14] Olivia     Maybe that's the wrong size. [16:17] Kasumi     All my work has gone to waste. SIGN    Does that actually happen? [16:21] Hanako     Does that actually happen? [16:23] Kasumi     This is how it always is. [16:25] Kasumi     Nothing good's come of having big breasts. [16:29] Kasumi     Even if I find cute clothes at the shop,     a lot of the time, my breasts don't fit. [16:34] Kasumi     Just the other day, I found a cute shirt     at the shop and tried it on, but... [16:40] Kasumi     The printing on the shirt screamed "no     more" in its death throes as it cracked. [16:45] Olivia     Printings don't talk, do they? [16:46] Kasumi     I swear, I could hear it! [16:48] Kasumi     It spoke directly to my brain! [16:50] Kasumi     By the way, I paid for it! [16:52] Hanako     I want to hear such death throes, too. [16:55] Kasumi     What am I supposed to do with this? [16:59] Olivia     I have a good idea. [17:01] Kasumi     A-A good idea? [17:02] Olivia     Yeah. [17:03] Olivia     I saw this fancy way of wearing     it on a fashion magazine. [17:06] Olivia     If you can't wear that shirt on top... [17:09] Olivia     You can wear it as a bottom. Right? [17:11] Kasumi     Why would you lie that you have a good idea? [17:13] Olivia     It's not a lie! [17:15] Olivia     A model said it's in style right now! SIGN    Like this [17:19] Kasumi     Do you know about this, Hanako-san? [17:20] Hanako     Huh? Yeah, totally! [17:22] Hanako     Crap, I never knew about this. [17:23] Olivia     Let's try it on as a skirt, then. [17:26] Hanako     I mean, it's worth a try, right? [17:28] Kasumi     I-Is this right? [17:31] Olivia     That's it. [17:32] Olivia     Yup, yup. [17:32] Hanako     Okay, Kasumi-san, look this way. [17:35] Hanako     Say "cheese." [17:39] Hanako     There. [17:39] Hanako     And sent. [17:40] Kasumi     Wait, wait, stop! [17:42] Kasumi     I don't want the teacher to     think I'm a weird student. [17:47] Hanako     Kasumi-san... [17:49] Hanako     People are all weird in one way or another. [17:53] Kasumi     N-No, I don't mean like that. [17:56] Olivia     What to do, then? [17:59] Hanako     We can't submit a photo with     a full view of her cleavage. [18:03] Hanako     Okay, let's do some emergency repairs. [18:05] Kasumi     H-H-H-H-H-How? [18:08] Hanako     There isn't enough around your breasts,     so we just need to add more fabric there. [18:12] Kasumi     I-I see. [18:14] Kasumi     Um... [18:14] Kasumi     I might mess up again if I do it. [18:17] Kasumi     Could you do it for me? [18:18] Hanako     Sure. [18:19] Hanako     First, we cut in a circle in the breast area. [18:22] Hanako     And then we add some more     with a bigger sheet, and... [18:26] Hanako     There, done.. [18:27] Hanako     Try it on, Kasumi-san. [18:29] Kasumi     Okay. [18:34] Hanako     Oh nuts, that's not what I had in mind. [18:38] Kasumi     It still feels tight around my breasts. [18:41] Kasumi     I'll take a look in the mirror. [18:43] Hanako     Wait up! [18:45] Hanako     I'll fix it one more time. [18:46] Hanako     Please don't look in a mirror,     even if your life depends on it. [18:49] Olivia     Uh, Hanako... [18:50] Olivia     Those are definitely nip— [18:52] Hanako     Olivia-chan! [18:54] Hanako     Shut up! [18:55] Hanako     It's because I cut too small around it. [18:58] Hanako     I'll try again with a bigger piece. [19:01] Hanako     Uh... Where's the left over cloth? [19:05] Hanako     I don't have enough. [19:06] Hanako     O-Okay, let's combine it with the other     one to at least hide her cleavage. [19:12] Hanako     K-Kasumi, could you try it on again? [19:16] Kasumi     Okay. [19:21] Hanako     At least her cleavage is covered now. [19:24] Olivia     Hanako! Get a grip on reality! [19:26] Olivia     You should wear it as a skirt. [19:28] Kasumi     B-But... [19:29] Kasumi     You look like this right now. [19:33] Hanako     Kasumi-san, I'm sorry! [19:34] Hanako     I'm so sorry! [19:36] Olivia     Is there another way to wear     it, other than as a skirt? [19:39] Hanako     This is the last resort. [19:45] Kasumi     Kasumi-san! [19:46] Kasumi     What can I do to make it up to you? [19:49] Kasumi     Come with me to explain to     the teacher what happened. [19:53] Hanako     O-Okay. [19:55] Olivia     It's just yours that's left, Hanako. [19:56] Olivia     What did you make? [19:59] Hanako     I feel really bad after what     I just did to Kasumi-san's, but... [20:04] Hanako     Ta-da, I made a yukata! [20:07] Olivia     That's amazing! [20:08] Kasumi     Hanako-san's deliberately playing it cool. [20:11] Kasumi     I'm used to making yukatas. [20:14] Kasumi     I should have done that instead. [20:16] Olivia     Oh, really? [20:17] Olivia     Why did you make a shirt, then? [20:19] Kasumi     No one went for it, so I got too adventurous. [20:21] Olivia     Okay, let's take a picture now, then. [20:23] Hanako     Hang on, I'll go get changed. [20:25] Hanako     Huh? [20:29] Hanako     W-Well? [20:31] Olivia     Nice! [20:33] Olivia     Go stand over there. [20:34] Hanako     Okay. [20:36] Hanako     How does it look? [20:37] Olivia     Huh? [20:39] Olivia     I see your elbow jutting out weirdly. [20:42] Hanako     What am I supposed to do?! [20:44] Kasumi     I think it's because you don't     have enough sleeve width. [20:48] Hanako     Kasumi-san, do you know how to fix it? [20:50] Kasumi     Yes. [20:53] Hanako     Never mind. [20:54] Hanako     You're totally scheming something! [20:56] Kasumi     Come on, now, leave it to me. [20:59] Hanako     No! [21:00] Hanako     Kasumi-san! Put down the scissors! SIGN    Japanese Pastimes, Please [22:34] N     Red Light, Green Light. SIGN    Red Light, Green Light SIGN    Captive [22:37] N     An infiltration technique for dispatching     a target silently from behind, SIGN    Landmines SIGN    Captive [22:44] N     without being noticed by the target. [22:47] N     It is said to have begun in 1845, when     Lieutenant Commander Richard Rodriguez [22:51] N     made use of it to improve the     success rate of his missions. [22:57] ---     The hell? [22:58] N     It was common at the time to hide     inside boxes or in the shadows, [23:02] N     and skill was required     of those carrying it out. [23:12] Kasumi     Snake! [23:13] Hanako     I'm not Snake. [23:16] N     Nowadays, anyone can engage     in an infiltration, SIGN    Landmines SIGN    Captive [23:20] N     thanks to the introduction of     optical cloaking technology. [23:31] ---     You guys again?! [23:35] Kasumi     Snape! [23:37] Hanako     Uh, I'm not Snape. 8 - Gotta "Catch" 'em All! | Divine Revelation | The Evil Sugoroku Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Gotta "Catch" 'em All! [01:38] Hanako     Olivia's playing that game. [01:40] Hanako     Are there any monsters in     this classroom, though? [01:42] Hanako     Olivia, is that any fun? [01:44] Olivia     Yeah. [01:45] Hanako     I haven't installed it yet. [01:47] Olivia     This game's popular in my country right now. [01:50] Hanako     In your country, too, huh? [01:52] Hanako     That's amazing. [01:53] Hanako     It really is popular worldwide. [01:55] Olivia     It is. [01:56] Olivia     Bactéri Go is so fun. [02:00] Hanako     What game is Olivia playing, exactly? [02:03] Hanako     That's not the one where you     collect monsters and stuff, is it? [02:07] Olivia     Huh? Monsters? [02:08] Olivia     Nah, it's a game where you collect the     bacteria that's crawling all around you. [02:16] Olivia     Oh yeah? [02:17] Olivia     It's popular worldwide? I never knew. [02:19] Olivia     That's kind of cool, since     it was made in my country. [02:22] Hanako     I don't think it's popular anywhere else. [02:27] Olivia     But the bacteria drawings are so cute. [02:30] Hanako     So how does the game work? [02:32] Olivia     Um... [02:33] Olivia     You put your phone up like this. [02:37] Olivia     I found some around your desk, Hanako. [02:41] Olivia     I got a cute one! [02:44] Olivia     Really? What did you get? [02:45] Olivia     Black mold from around the     lip of your water bottle. [02:49] Hanako     That's not real, is it? [02:50] Hanako     That's a virtual thing to     make the game fun, right? [02:54] Olivia     This is a cutting edge     smartphone from my country. [02:56] Olivia     It has a bacteria detection feature. [02:59] Hanako     Say what? [02:59] Hanako     Why do they have such an excessively     useless high-tech feature on it? [03:02] Olivia     Don't worry, though. [03:05] Olivia     I caught it in my phone. [03:07] Olivia     Got it! [03:10] Hanako     Hey, does it have a sanitizing feature? [03:16] Olivia     Got placebo effect? [03:18] Hanako     That doesn't work! [03:19] Hanako     Seriously, all it did was let me     know there's bacteria everywhere! [03:23] Hanako     I just feel even worse! [03:25] Olivia     What? Just wash it. [03:27] Kasumi     Hey, sorry I'm late. [03:29] Hanako     Kasumi-san, hear me out! [03:30] Hanako     Olivia's collecting bacteria     from all over the classroom! [03:35] Hanako     Wait, Kasumi-san, don't go! [03:37] Hanako     Don't leave me! [03:38] Hanako     So yeah, that's what happened. [03:40] Kasumi     Oh, I see, it's a game. [03:44] Olivia     I wonder what kind of bacteria     are on your desk, Kasumi. [03:53] Hanako     Wait, Olivia, what the hell are you doing?! [03:55] Olivia     I couldn't find a single bacterium, [03:57] Olivia     so I thought they might show     up if I drooled or something. [03:59] Hanako     No, no! [04:00] Hanako     You can't give up on your     humanity just for a game! [04:02] Olivia     I bet you'd all do the same thing. [04:04] Kasumi     I sterilize my desk with alcohol. [04:07] Hanako     You sterilize your desk?! [04:09] Hanako     Are you a germophobe? [04:10] Olivia     Whose side are you on, Hanako? [04:12] Olivia     I guess I'll just give Hanako's     black mold a name for now. [04:16] Hanako     Call it Maeda. [04:17] Olivia     Sure. [04:18] Kasumi     What exactly is Maeda-san to Hanako-san? [04:20] Olivia     I bet there's a lot around you, Hanako. [04:23] Olivia     And not just on your water bottle. [04:24] Hanako     My desk's decently clean, too! [04:26] Olivia     That notebook and writing mat     look pretty suspicious, though. [04:32] Hanako     Why would this be dirty? [04:34] Hanako     It's my favorite Boys School Wars mat! [04:37] Olivia     Okay. [04:39] Kasumi     Let's see. [04:44] Kasumi     Hanako-san... [04:45] Kasumi     Did you take a dump on your writing mat? [04:47] Hanako     What the hell kind of question is that?! [04:50] Hanako     What do I need to have done to my head     to want to squat over my writing mat? [04:53] Kasumi     But, like... [04:54] Olivia     I got fecal bacteria from your writing mat. [05:00] Hanako     My cat was making weird     motions on my mat a lot. [05:04] (Flashback) Hanako     So cute! [05:07] (Flashback) Hanako     Maeda, Ken-chan, look! [05:08] (Flashback) Hanako     It's so cute! [05:10] Hanako     I probably should have been stopping it! [05:13] Hanako     Uh, it wasn't me, but it     might have been wiped. [05:16] Kasumi     By whom?! [05:17] Hanako     My cat. [05:18] Olivia     Can I check all your stuff, then, Hanako? [05:21] Hanako     Go ahead. [05:22] Hanako     Check everything, please. [05:24] Olivia     Found some. [05:25] Olivia     Here, too. [05:26] Olivia     It's a new species! [05:29] Olivia     Thank you, Hanako! [05:33] Hanako     I'm glad you're happy, Olivia. [05:37] Kasumi     Um, Hanako-san, can I sterilize     everything you own later? [05:41] Kasumi     And Olivia-san, please wash your     hands when you're done playing. [05:47] Kasumi     I guess we should head home. [05:48] Hanako     Yeah. [05:50] Hanako     Olivia, you forgot your phone. [05:53] Hanako     You left the game open, too. [05:55] Olivia     Oh, right. [05:58] Olivia     Sorry, I blanked out. [05:59] Olivia     Thanks. [06:02] Hanako     Hey, what's the exclamation mark things? [06:05] Olivia     That's when there's a lot of bacteria! [06:07] Olivia     Where? Where? [06:11] Hanako     Over there. [06:12] Kasumi     Couldn't you lie a little better?! [06:13] Olivia     Really? [06:15] Olivia     Oh, you're right. [06:17] Olivia     On your cheek. [06:19] Kasumi     It's from when she was rubbing     the mat against her face. SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Divine Revelation [06:29] Hanako     I went clothes shopping with     Olivia and Kasumi-san... [06:34] Hanako     But why did I buy this? [06:39] Hanako     Why does it look so pretty when it's at     the store, but so disappointing at home? [06:45] Hanako     Why does the shop staff's magic     words of "It looks so good on you" [06:49] Hanako     wear off when you get home? [06:52] Hanako     Someone intelligent, please tell me. [06:57] Hanako     I know, Kasumi-san! [06:59] Hanako     She encouraged me! [07:01] Hanako     I have to call Kasumi-san! [07:04] Kasumi     Hello? Hanako-san? [07:07] Hanako     Hey, Kasumi-san... [07:09] Hanako     The shopping trip today... [07:12] Kasumi     That was fun. [07:13] Kasumi     Let's go again. [07:14] Kasumi     I've never gone clothes shopping     with my friends before. [07:17] Hanako     Hey... [07:19] Hanako     The clothes I bought... [07:21] Hanako     They weren't weird, were they? [07:25] Hanako     Hey, why did you say "it's nice"? [07:34] Kasumi     What's happening right now? [07:37] Kasumi     B-Back at the shop? [07:40] Hanako     Yeah. [07:41] Hanako     Back at the shop. [07:43] Hanako     I asked, "What do you think?" remember? [07:47] Kasumi     Oh yeah... [07:49] (Flashback) Hanako     Hey, Kasumi-san, what do you think of this? [07:51] Kasumi     Crazy. [07:53] (Flashback) Hanako     What do you think? [07:54] (Flashback) Kasumi     W-Well... [07:57] Kasumi     Hanako-san seems to like it [08:00] (Flashback) Kasumi     I-I think it's nice. [08:02] Kasumi     Or so I said, but... [08:04] Hanako     You were like... [08:07] Hanako     "You look so good. I think you could     get any guy in the world wearing that. [08:11] Hanako     You'll be balling. Buy it, dude." [08:14] Hanako     Remember? [08:16] Kasumi     How is her memory so distorted?! [08:18] Kasumi     She got everything wrong except "I think." [08:20] Kasumi     Hang on. [08:21] Kasumi     Her memory's really distorted, which means... [08:24] Kasumi     U-Uh... [08:27] Kasumi     I don't think I was the one who said that. [08:30] Kasumi     I was in the washroom at the time. [08:34] Kasumi     It was actually Olivia-san     that was in the washroom. [08:39] Hanako     Then who said that? [08:43] Hanako     Olivia? [08:47] Kasumi     Yes. [08:54] Hanako     Sorry, I made a mistake. [08:56] Hanako     I'll ask Olivia. [09:02] Kasumi     Forgive me! [09:06] Olivia     Hey, Hanako, what's up? [09:08] Hanako     Hey, about the clothes I bought today... [09:12] Olivia     What did you end up buying? [09:13] Olivia     I want to see. [09:14] Olivia     Send me pictures. [09:15] Hanako     Huh? [09:16] Hanako     O-Okay. [09:19] Olivia     Here we go. [09:22] Olivia     It's so cute! [09:23] Olivia     Onii-chan, look! [09:25] Hanako     Olivia, stop! [09:28] Hanako     What are they talking about? [09:30] Olivia     My brother says that the silhouette makes you [09:34] Olivia     look like you're wearing     virgin killer clothes! [09:38] Hanako     I kill them wearing these clothes? [09:40] Hanako     Virgins? [09:41] Hanako     Virgins specifically? [09:43] Hanako     Virgins? [09:45] Hanako     Did they do something wrong? [09:48] Hanako     They've angered God because they aren't     trying to propagate the species? [09:53] Hanako     Wait, I'm going to look it up. [09:54] Olivia     Look what up? [09:55] Hanako     Wait, hold on. [09:57] Hanako     Every living thing is born a virgin. [10:00] Hanako     Then do you anger God when you're     a virgin over a certain age? [10:05] Hanako     The oldest new father in the world... [10:07] Hanako     Ninety-six years old, in India. [10:10] Hanako     Amazing. [10:11] Hanako     Which means, even if you lost your virginity     at 96, you can preserve your species. [10:18] Hanako     So is it God's wish that     I kill all virgins 97 or older? [10:26] Hanako     Could I even tell who they are? [10:29] Hanako     No, I don't think I could. [10:32] Hanako     Since I'm looking it up right now,     I should look up "virgin killer clothes." [10:36] Hanako     I don't want to see gory pictures, though. [10:39] Olivia     Wait, Hanako, do you know what     "virgin killer clothes" are? [10:43] Olivia     You should look it up. [10:44] Hanako     I-Is it safe? [10:46] Olivia     Huh? Yeah. SIGN    The newest in virgin killer clothes Virgin killer clothes... "Virgin killer clothes" viral on social media Everyday fashion... [10:48] Hanako     Huh? It's all cute pictures. SIGN    Tried wearing "virgin killer clothes" for a week Virgin killer clothes... All the buzz about virgin killer clothes Virgin killer clothes with the newest accessories [10:53] Hanako     It's the Specially Designated Secrets Act! [10:55] Hanako     Or a Freemason conspiracy! [10:58] Olivia     Hey, let's hit up Harajuku wearing that. [11:01] Olivia     My brother says you can hunt some virgins. [11:03] Hanako     Harajuku's in a Mad Max situation already?! [11:08] Hanako     I haven't seen any news about virgins     being killed in Harajuku, though. [11:14] Hanako     The government is meddling with the media! [11:17] Hanako     Is this what they call "state     control of information"? [11:21] Hanako     Is it safe for civilians to go? [11:24] Olivia     Sure it is. [11:25] Olivia     Let's go, let's go. [11:26] Olivia     I'll wear something cute, too. [11:29] Olivia     Kasumi could probably kill them     instantly, wearing something like this. [11:31] Olivia     I bet she could really show off her boobs. [11:34] Hanako     I have a feeling Kasumi-san     knows a lot about survival. [11:38] Hanako     Like, long-range sniping. [11:40] Olivia     Like a cupid, you mean? [11:41] Hanako     Huh? Yeah. [11:43] Hanako     We won't get convicted for killing virgins? [11:46] Olivia     "They stole your heart." [11:49] Olivia     Or something like that. We're heart thieves. [11:51] Hanako     We're stealing their hearts? [11:53] Hanako     What violent girlfriends! [11:55] Hanako     I never knew... [11:57] Hanako     I thought we lived in a peaceful world. [12:00] Olivia     Hanako? [12:02] Hanako     I'll do it. [12:04] Hanako     If God wills it, [12:07] Hanako     I'll kill virgins. [12:10] Hanako     So should I use a knife? [12:15] Olivia     What's she talking about? SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    The Evil Sugoroku [12:25] Hanako     What are you up to, Olivia? [12:28] Olivia     I'm actuallyreally good at Memory. [12:34] Hanako     You're so stupid. [12:36] Hanako     You need to have good memory to play Memory. [12:40] Hanako     Why would you be good at it when     you can't even study at all? [12:43] Olivia     Just watch! [12:45] Olivia     Here I go. [12:46] Olivia     This one and this one. [12:48] Olivia     This and this. [12:50] Olivia     This and this. [12:52] Olivia     This and this. [12:53] Olivia     This and this. [12:54] Olivia     This and this. [12:55] Olivia     This and this. [12:56] Olivia     This and this. [12:57] Olivia     This and... this. [13:05] Olivia     Yay, I got them all on my first try! [13:07] Olivia     I'm awesome, right? [13:08] Olivia     I have pretty good memory, don't you think? [13:12] Hanako     Did that even have anything     to do with memory? [13:16] Hanako     Kasumi-san, want to go pee together? [13:20] Kasumi     O-Okay. [13:22] Hanako     You saw that, right? [13:24] Kasumi     Yes, it was amazing. [13:26] Hanako     What do you think? [13:28] Kasumi     She was lucky, or something? [13:31] Hanako     Do you really think that's all? [13:32] Kasumi     But there's no other explanation. [13:35] Hanako     Y-You're right. [13:37] Hanako     Let's test to see if     she's really lucky, then. [13:40] Kasumi     How? [13:41] Hanako     With the ultimate game of chance... [13:45] Hanako     The sugoroku! [13:48] Olivia     We're going to play sugoroku now? [13:50] Olivia     It's going to take a while, isn't it? [13:51] Hanako     Is it? [13:52] Kasumi     I-It's Hanako-san's hand-made sugoroku. [13:54] Kasumi     It could be fun. [13:56] Hanako     It is. [13:57] Hanako     My hand-made games are a little different. [13:59] Hanako     Every cell has a penalty! SIGN    Wrap a necktie around your head Finish ice cream in a single bite Read Kasumi-san's novel out loud Drink a pack of extra spicy curry Imitate a body builder [14:03] Olivia     So dirty! [14:05] Kasumi     Is Hanako-san even thinking about     the fact that she's playing, too? [14:08] Hanako     Okay, let's decide who goes first     by playing rock-paper-scissors. [14:10] Hanako     Rock, paper, scissors! [14:11] Olivia     Yay, I'm first! [14:13] Hanako     She's lucky. [14:14] Kasumi     I know, right? [14:15] Olivia     Here I go. [14:19] Olivia     I only get one? [14:21] Hanako     Huh? [14:21] Kasumi     Huh? [14:22] Olivia     One is... SIGN    Chug a fizzy drink Make pig noises SIGN    Start [14:26] Olivia     P-Pig? [14:30] Olivia     Oink... [14:33] Hanako     Shit, that's cute. [14:35] Hanako     You're clear. [14:36] Kasumi     Hanako-san just clicked her tongue. [14:38] Olivia     This is way too hard right off the bat! [14:40] Kasumi     Okay, next... [14:42] Kasumi     Four... [14:44] Hanako     Let's see... [14:45] Hanako     Pretend to be a dog peeing on a power pole. [14:49] Kasumi     I-I can be a female, right? [14:51] Hanako     No, it's the males that pee on power     poles with one leg up, remember? [15:00] Olivia     Um, Kasumi, you can do something     else instead, you know... [15:05] Hanako     Let's do her the kindness of watching     her spirited peeing performance. [15:13] Kasumi     Tinkle, tinkle... [15:15] Hanako     Well done, Kasumi-san, good job. [15:19] Hanako     You're clear. [15:21] Kasumi     H-Hanako-san... [15:24] Kasumi     I don't want to play this sugoroku anymore! [15:27] Hanako     Oh, my. [15:28] Hanako     Kasumi-san, we're still on our first turn. [15:31] Hanako     We're just getting started. [15:34] Kasumi     Th-This is an evil sugoroku that     turns people into monsters! [15:37] Hanako     Okay, I'm up next. [15:41] Hanako     Six! [15:42] Olivia     Six! [15:43] Hanako     Six is... SIGN    Have your butt slapped by the other two [15:48] Olivia     Uh, Hanako, that's... [15:51] Kasumi     That's got to be the worst one! [15:55] Hanako     Hurry up and do it. [15:57] Kasumi     I don't want to be the one to do it, either! [15:59] Olivia     A-Are you sure? [16:02] Hanako     Yeah. [16:06] Olivia     Please don't make weird noises. [16:09] Hanako     But... [16:10] Hanako     Not even my dad has slapped me before. [16:13] Olivia     I-I believe you. [16:14] Olivia     Go ahead. [16:20] Hanako     Kasumi-san... [16:22] Hanako     You went easy on me, didn't you? [16:24] Kasumi     But... [16:25] Hanako     Don't! [16:26] Hanako     Hit me properly! [16:28] Kasumi     But... [16:28] Hanako     Do it! [16:30] Hanako     I'm already prepared! [16:33] Hanako     Make it sound really good! [16:36] Kasumi     Hanako-san... [16:38] Hanako     I'm kidding. [16:40] Hanako     I tried acting tough. [16:42] Hanako     I'm kidding. [16:43] Kasumi     I feel your resolve. [16:50] Hanako     My ass is destroyed! [16:53] Kasumi     And that's what you wanted, was it not? [16:56] Hanako     Okay, next, go ahead. SIGN    Crawl one lap around the hallway like a baby [17:08] Olivia     Please don't run into anyone... [17:09] Olivia     Please don't run into anyone... [17:11] Hanako     Olivia's crawling isn't     so much like a baby... [17:13] Hanako     ...as a cockroach. [17:16] Olivia     Crap, the student council president! [17:18] President     Olivia-san. [17:19] President     Perfect. [17:20] President     There was something I wanted to     ask you about the Pastimers Club. [17:23] President     You haven't submitted a proposal for your     cultural festival display, have you? [17:27] Olivia     Shoot, I don't know why I ran away. [17:29] President     Hold it. [17:31] President     Humans can travel faster on two     legs than on four, Olivia-san. [17:39] President     Give it up. SIGN    Pastimers Club [17:43] Kasumi     Over here. [17:51] Olivia     I was so scared, I could die. [17:54] Hanako     I bet. [17:55] Kasumi     Okay, next. SIGN    The next person     sits up like a dog      --Maeda [17:57] Kasumi     You're the next person, right, Hanako-san? [18:00] Kasumi     Apparently you're supposed to "chin chin." [18:02] Hanako     Did I ever write that?! [18:03] Hanako     No way, I don't remember writing that! [18:05] Kasumi     It's signed by Maeda-san. [18:07] Hanako     Damn it, Maeda! [18:09] Hanako     I asked him for help on one spot, [18:11] Hanako     but that's one of those things     that would get censored! [18:13] Hanako     Is "chin chin" the balls and the stick? [18:17] Hanako     Or is it just the stick? [18:18] Hanako     No way, that's way too dirty! [18:22] Hanako     I don't want to lose my purity yet! [18:24] Hanako     No, spare me! [18:30] Olivia     Isn't it "chin chin" as in,     "sit up and beg like a dog"? [18:32] Kasumi     Hey, just wondering... [18:34] Kasumi     Did you do some studying after that day? [18:36] Hanako     The Internet's just too useful. [18:40] Kasumi     Yeah. [18:41] Kasumi     It is, isn't it? [18:43] Olivia     Okay, do the chin chin. [18:45] Olivia     Okay, you're good. [18:46] Olivia     All right, next. [18:48] Kasumi     O-Okay. [18:49] Hanako     I'm going to make you both     suffer the same humiliation! [18:56] Olivia     No, you totally just screwed     yourself over there, Hanako! [19:00] N     And so the sugoroku game continued,     under Hanako's afflicting gaze. SIGN    Cry like a phoenix Make koala sounds Wrap a necktie around your head [19:07] Hanako     That's not good enough! [19:08] Kasumi     Wh-What do koalas sound like, again? [19:11] Olivia     Hang on, I'll find a video. [19:16] Olivia     She looks kind of happy! [19:24] Olivia     She looks like it didn't amuse her     as much as she thought it would! [19:27] N     A few turns later... [19:31] Olivia     Um, Sensei... [19:33] ---     Eh, what is it? SIGN    "Do English tongue twisters in front of a teacher" [19:35] Olivia     Peter popsicle, piccolo peephole,     whoa, bazinga, boobies! [19:40] Hanako     You're next, Kasumi-san. [19:41] Kasumi     No way! [19:42] Kasumi     You go first, please, Hanako-san. [19:44] Hanako     Sensei, look! [19:47] Hanako     Pretty Soldier Honda Hanako! SIGN    Do a Sailor Mon impression in front of a teacher [19:52] Hanako     In the name of justice... [19:55] Kasumi     Don't, you're going to get put in     jail for saying stuff like that! [19:58] Hanako     I punish... [20:05] Hanako     Sensei, don't look at me like that! [20:07] Hanako     It's way too awkward! [20:11] Sensei     Shoot, I froze up because she suddenly*     started calling herself a bishoujo. [20:16] Sensei     I see. [20:18] Sensei     They want me to play with them. [20:20] Sensei     All right. [20:21] Sensei     I'll make a proper reaction next time. [20:23] Kasumi     S-Sensei... SIGN    Fire a Kamehameha in front of a teacher [20:27] Kasumi     Ka... me... ha... me... [20:34] Kasumi     Ha! [20:35] Sensei     Here we go! [20:36] Sensei     I'll do it! [20:37] Sensei     I'll pretend I got hit! [20:38] Sensei     Hidebu! [20:42] Hanako     That sounded really bad. [20:46] Hanako     S-Sensei, are you okay?! [20:49] Kasumi     That definitely wasn't the right posture     for when you take a Kamehameha. [20:52] Kasumi     Th-Thank you, Sensei. [20:55] Hanako     You're so kind, Sensei. [20:57] Kasumi     Yes. [20:59] Sensei     I should go to the nurse's office. SIGN    Pastimers Club [21:04] Kasumi     I don't want to play this sugoroku anymore! [21:06] Hanako     Kasumi-san... [21:08] Hanako     I don't want to play anymore, either. [21:11] Hanako     How did this happen? [21:14] Kasumi     Well, you made it, Hanako. [21:16] N     And so they mustered what was     left of their strength... SIGN    Goal! SIGN    Goal! [21:21] Kasumi     Congrats on finishing first, Kasumi-san! [21:23] Kasumi     Thank you. [21:26] Hanako     Oh, Kasumi-san, let's go pee together. [21:31] Hanako     So hey, was Olivia lucky? [21:34] Kasumi     I don't know. [21:35] Kasumi     I don't think she had it any     less terrible than we did. [21:39] Hanako     Then the only other way she could     have won that memory game... [21:44] Kasumi     She has psychic powers? [21:47] Olivia     Oh yeah, I used magic trick     cards for that memory game. [21:53] Olivia     I thought I'd surprise those two, but they were     more surprised than I thought they'd be. [21:58] Olivia     Especially Hanako's face... [22:01] Olivia     Shoot, it makes me laugh     just thinking about it. [22:07] Hanako     She's doing a creepy laugh! 9 - Troubles of a Fake Foreigner | A Dutchey Wife | Genetic Engineering Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Troubles of a Fake Foreigner [01:33] Sensei     Okay, let's call it a day. [01:35] Sensei     We're going to have a quiz next class. [01:37] Sensei     Be sure to memorize the     words we worked on today. [01:49] Olivia     Seriously, those two never say     a word when we're in class. [01:55] Olivia     And thanks to that... [01:56] Girl A     Olivia-san. [01:58] Girl A     Hey, have you gotten used to Japanese yet? [02:00] Olivia     S-Slowly. [02:03] Olivia     People still think I don't     speak Japanese fluently. [02:06] Girl B     She's gotten a bit better     than in the beginning, right? [02:09] Girl A     Yeah, yeah. [02:09] Girl A     Oh, and there's something I wanted you     to help us with from class today... [02:13] Olivia     Again! [02:15] Olivia     N-Native English and exam English     might be a bit different. [02:20] Girl B     Really? [02:21] Olivia     So you're better off asking the teacher. [02:24] Girl A     Okay, we'll do that. [02:26] Girl B     Thanks. [02:29] Olivia     Hanako! Hanako! Hanako! [02:32] Hanako     Olivia... [02:33] Hanako     It's break time. Let me sleep. [02:34] Olivia     Wait, wait! [02:36] Olivia     Talk to me more! [02:38] Olivia     People have gotten used to the     idea that I'm not fluent in [02:40] Olivia     Japanese because you're always sleeping! [02:41] Hanako     Who cares? [02:42] Hanako     Is there something wrong with that? [02:43] Olivia     There is! [02:44] Olivia     This whole thing about me     being deficient in Japanese [02:46] Olivia     has made my entire school life a total pain! [02:48] Olivia     Could you please tell     everyone the truth, Hanako? [02:51] Hanako     How? [02:53] Olivia     How? [02:54] Olivia     Like, go into that group of     popular girls and be, like, [02:57] Olivia     "Hey, did you know? Olivia-chan's     apparently totally fluent in Japanese." [03:01] Olivia     Casually start spreading rumors. [03:02] Olivia     They'd probably make it spread really fast. [03:05] Hanako     Asking me to do that is like asking me     to jump from this second-floor window [03:10] Hanako     and land cleanly on my butt. [03:13] Olivia     What does that even mean? [03:15] Hanako     It means it's impossible. [03:16] Olivia     I wish she wouldn't use an example     that seems weirdly possible for her. [03:19] Olivia     Just help me out, please! Do something! [03:22] Hanako     Jeez, now break time's over. [03:25] N     And then what happened? [03:27] [SONG] ---     Functions of the female body [03:29] Olivia     I shouldn't have come up with such an idea... [03:33] (Flashback) Olivia     N-Nice to meet you. [03:36] (Flashback) Olivia     I can't wait to get to know everyone better. [03:41] (Flashback) Olivia     N-Niced to meeted you. [03:44] Olivia     I tensed up and said that totally wrong! [03:48] (Flashback) Sensei     Okay, Olivia-san, please take     that empty seat over there. [03:51] (Flashback) Olivia     Okay. [03:52] (Flashback) Sensei     Oh, Honda-san, since she's your neighbor, [03:54] (Flashback) Sensei     I want you to teach her about the     school after classes are over. [03:57] (Flashback) Olivia     Th-Thank you. [04:04] (Flashback) Text/Hanako     I refuse! SIGN    I refuse <3 [04:08] (Flashback) Text/Hanako     Wait, I meant to say I'll give you refuge! [04:12] (Flashback) Text/Hanako     I swear! Believe me you must! [04:15] (Flashback) Olivia     Why are you speaking so broken, too? [04:16] (Flashback) Olivia     I-I may be inadequate, but I shall show     you around the school after classes. [04:23] (Flashback) Olivia     Your Japanese is very good, Olivia-san. [04:28] (Flashback) Olivia     Th-Thank you... [04:32] Olivia     This girl could be fun. [04:35] Olivia     I found me a new toy! [04:39] Olivia     I was so stupid for thinking that! [04:42] Olivia     Now everyone in class thinks that's who I am! [04:46] Hanako     Olivia's broken English act is funny.     I wouldn't mind her keeping it up. [04:51] Hanako     But I guess if it's messing up her life,     I should probably clarify things for her. [04:56] Hanako     I just came up with a good     way to start a rumor! SIGN    Olivia actually speaks really good Japanese, apparently! [05:06] Hanako     This is it! [05:06] Hanako     A pass-it-down letter! [05:08] Hanako     I'll just send it around and     pretend it didn't come from me! [05:11] Hanako     I'm so smart! [05:13] Hanako     Hey, I just got this letter. [05:15] Hanako     Read it and pass it down. [05:18] Girl A     She could just use LINE if     she wants to spread rumors. [05:22] Girl A     Huh, I never knew. [05:24] Girl A     Really, huh? [05:26] Girl A     Hey, read this and pass it down. [05:28] Girl B     Hey, I never knew. [05:29] Girl B     I think I'll try talking     to her normally next time. [05:32] Girl B     Wait, Olivia-san sits in front of me, so... [05:34] Girl B     Read this and pass it down. [05:36] Kasumi     What's this? [05:39] Kasumi     Wh-Who wrote this?! [05:42] Kasumi     Olivia-san's worked so hard     to maintain her persona! [05:46] Kasumi     Who the hell is trying to ruin it for her?! SIGN    Olivia actually speaks really good Japanese, apparently! [05:49] Kasumi     Like that other time... [05:51] (Flashback) Girl B     You get perfect grades on     your English exams, right? [05:54] (Flashback) Olivia     N-Not really. [05:57] (Flashback) Olivia     Normal English and exam English     aren't always the same. SIGN    Note: This is all she ever says [06:03] N     This is all she ever says. [06:05] (Flashback) Girl B     Really? For example? [06:06] (Flashback) Olivia     L-Like... [06:09] (Flashback) Olivia     Godzilla. [06:12] Girl A     That one's Japanese to begin with. [06:14] Girl B     Although you can make perfect sense of that. [06:17] (Flashback) Olivia     My eyes hurt! [06:18] (Flashback) Olivia     I have an owie in my eyesies! [06:19] (Flashback) Olivia     Sorry, I'm going to go poo! [06:21] (Flashback) Girl B     O-Okay. [06:22] Kasumi     "Olivia-san's pretty awesome! [06:24] Kasumi     She actually sounded like a foreigner." [06:26] Kasumi     ...or so they said. [06:28] Kasumi     And it's that character she put on that     gave her a good amount of personal space. [06:32] Kasumi     If people find out she's fluent in Japanese, [06:34] Kasumi     and she ends up fitting in with everyone... [06:36] Olivia     Oh, sorry, the basketball club invited     me, so I'm headed over there. [06:40] Kasumi     And then the Pastimers Club will be... [06:47] Hanako     I'm jealous of the popular kids. [06:50] Kasumi     Hell no! [06:52] Kasumi     I don't want to end my precious middle     school life just staring at her melted face! [06:57] Kasumi     I like things the way they are! [06:58] Kasumi     I like things the way they are! [06:59] Kasumi     I need to put an end to this letter! SIGN    Olivia actually speaks really good Japanese, apparently! [07:03] Kasumi     Should I not pass it down? [07:04] Kasumi     No, if it stops at me,     I'll end up taking the heat. [07:08] Kasumi     All right, I'll rewrite it. [07:11] Kasumi     It should all work out     if I play stupid later. [07:14] Kasumi     I have to make her seem like an     unapproachable, highly-sought-after princess. [07:19] Kasumi     Um... [07:21] Kasumi     There. [07:22] Kasumi     Hey, could you read this and pass it down? [07:29] Girl A     Um, is this... [07:30] Sensei     You there. [07:33] Sensei     What is that? [07:35] Kasumi     Um... [07:36] Sensei     Let me see. SIGN    Olivia is apparently fluent in Japlish! SIGN    Olivia is apparently fluent in Lincos! SIGN    Japlish SIGN    Lincos [07:43] Sensei     Amazing. [07:44] Sensei     O-Olivia-san... [07:47] Sensei     Is this true? [07:49] Sensei     It's gotten even worse! [07:52] Sensei     I-It's not! [07:53] Sensei     It's a lie! [07:55] Girl A     Oh, it's not true? [07:57] Girl A     Too bad. [07:58] Sensei     Everyone, passing letters     around during class is banned. [08:02] Girl A     Okay. SIGN    Pastimers Club [08:04] Hanako     Why did you deny that earlier, Olivia? [08:07] Kasumi     Seriously. [08:08] Kasumi     I made you seem like a princess. [08:11] Olivia     Huh? SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    A Dutchey Wife [08:18] Girl A     And so, Olivia-san [08:19] Girl A     will be representing our class in the     school English speech contest next week. [08:25] Girl A     Applause, please. [08:29] Olivia     My life is over. [08:34] Olivia     What do I do?! [08:36] Kasumi     C-Congratulations. [08:38] Olivia     I'm screwed! [08:39] Olivia     Death is my only option! [08:40] Hanako     You had unanimous support thanks     to the president's endorsement. [08:44] Olivia     Why didn't either of you stop them? [08:46] Kasumi     Well, I thought I should, but... [08:49] Kasumi     But everyone seemed happy, so I     couldn't bring myself to bring it up. [08:54] Kasumi     I didn't have the courage. [08:58] Kasumi     I'm sorry, Olivia-san. [09:00] Olivia     It's okay, I get it. [09:02] Olivia     Don't be so hard on yourself. [09:04] Kasumi     Olivia-san... [09:05] Olivia     Why didn't you say anything, Hanako? [09:08] Hanako     Er, I did think I should stop them, too, [09:12] Hanako     but seeing the situation you caused     for yourself get so out of hand... [09:19] Hanako     I was so busy trying not to laugh,     I couldn't do anything else. [09:24] Hanako     You're like a peanut-brained animal     that got caught in its own trap. [09:28] Olivia     I'm not forgiving you! SIGN    Pfft [09:32] Olivia     What do I do? [09:34] Olivia     Please, what do I do? [09:39] Hanako     I think you should start studying now. [09:44] Kasumi     Th-That's right. [09:45] Kasumi     You still have time. [09:47] Hanako     Yeah. [09:47] Hanako     An honest effort never betrays you. [09:49] Hanako     Let's start now. [09:52] Olivia     Guys... [09:58] Olivia     I don't want to study! [10:03] Olivia     I don't want to do it! [10:07] Hanako     What is this kid, stupid? [10:09] Kasumi     Hey, but it's better than doing nothing. [10:11] Olivia     It's no use! [10:12] Olivia     It would only really take     me from a one to a 1.5. [10:15] Olivia     A one can never become a nine! [10:18] Hanako     That's such a trashy thing to say,     but I understand the reasoning. [10:21] Olivia     I want to take a shortcut. [10:23] Olivia     A week! [10:24] Olivia     I need a way to become fluent in a week! [10:26] Kasumi     I-I'd like to know, if there's such a way. [10:28] Olivia     So I do have no choice but to die! [10:30] Hanako     Hang on. [10:32] Hanako     Let's use my ultimate weapon, then. [10:35] Hanako     Calling Maeda... [10:37] Maeda     How may I serve you, Hanako-san? [10:39] Hanako     Stop popping up like that! You're     going to give me a heart attack! [10:42] Maeda     Well, I do spend my life adhered to you. [10:46] Hanako     Wait, you aren't that surprised     this time, Kasumi-san. [10:50] Kasumi     Well... [10:52] Kasumi     I could see him. [10:53] Hanako     No wonder you were sitting at a weird angle! [10:57] Maeda     I heard your discussion. [10:59] Maeda     Oh, yeah, so could you help? [11:01] Maeda     Also, creepy. [11:02] Hanako     Understood. And not creepy. [11:03] N     And then what happened? [11:09] Kasumi     What's this? [11:10] Maeda     A cutting-edge android, built by     upgrading the robot Kouichi-kun, [11:12] Maeda     which Hanako-sama destroyed before. [11:14] Maeda     Olivia-Newton-Einstein. [11:16] Hanako     Huh? [11:18] Hanako     What's up, Olivia? [11:20] Hanako     Aren't you impressed? [11:21] Olivia     Um, so... [11:23] Olivia     Its face is a lot like     the one Dad used to have. [11:27] Kasumi     Your father? [11:30] Olivia     He got in a huge fight with Mom about it. [11:34] Olivia     What was it? [11:35] Olivia     A derby doll? [11:37] Maeda     I don't think it looks alike. [11:39] Hanako     You know of it, Maeda? [11:40] Maeda     Yes. [11:41] Maeda     Your grandfather had several. [11:43] Hanako     It looks like those ones? [11:44] Maeda     Not at all. [11:45] Maeda     I absolutely didn't scan the faces of one     of your grandfather's secret sx dolls. [11:51] Olivia     Wait! [11:52] Olivia     Why didn't you put more effort     into making it, Maeda-chan?! [11:55] Maeda     It's your grandfather's favorite one. [11:57] Hanako     Hey, it looks enough like you, though. [11:59] Olivia     Hanako! [12:00] Kasumi     So how functional is it? [12:02] Maeda     Hanako-sama, say something to it in English. [12:06] Hanako     H-Hello. [12:09] Hanako     Whoa! [12:11] Hanako     It's actually Olivia's voice! [12:12] Maeda     Yes. [12:13] Maeda     Your grandfather is fluent in English, [12:15] Maeda     so I asked him to speak, and I     modulated it with Olivia's voice. [12:19] Hanako     How are you? [12:33] Hanako     That's amazing! It's so fluent! [12:35] Hanako     It pronounces "six" perfectly! [12:38] Kasumi     Wow, Hanako-san, you can     actually understand it! [12:40] Kasumi     Can you talk to it about anything? [12:42] Maeda     I've programmed it with all the words     Grandfather knows, so yes, to an extent. [12:46] Sensei     Sorry I'm late, everyone. [12:48] Sensei     Huh? [12:49] Sensei     What's this? [12:50] Hanako     Sensei, look, isn't it awesome? [12:52] Hanako     Grandpa and Maeda built an Olivia     that speaks perfect English. [12:56] Sensei     Huh. [12:57] Sensei     But aren't you competing, Olivia-san? [12:59] Olivia     No way. [13:00] Olivia     I don't want to study. [13:01] Olivia     This is good enough. [13:02] Olivia     It'll make everyone happy. [13:04] Sensei     B-But you might get better     if you work hard enough. [13:11] Sensei     The hell! This person's so vulgar! [13:13] Sensei     D-Does it know any proper words? [13:16] Hanako     I've only programmed it with the     slang that Grandfather knows. [13:20] Hanako     Did you just say slang?! [13:22] Sensei     Then we should be able to program it     with this speech really quick, right? [13:25] Hanako     Right. [13:26] Hanako     We can start programming it     with decent words, right? [13:33] Sensei     That's right. [13:40] Hanako     The android's become self-aware!     It's asserting itself! [13:43] Hanako     What do we do? [13:44] Kasumi     What do we do now? [13:45] Olivia     I'll die. [13:46] Hanako     Olivia looks like the android! [13:49] Sensei     Okay. [13:50] Sensei     You don't have to. [13:52] Sensei     Calm down. [13:58] Hanako     So what do we do now, Sensei? [14:00] Sensei     We only have one option. [14:02] N     And so they had the best*     English-speaker in class take over. [14:08] Girl A     Huh? Olivia-san hurt her throat?     And I have to take over? [14:12] Girl A     Sure. [14:13] Hanako     We should have done this to begin with. SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Genetic Engineering SIGN    Faculty Room [14:21] Olivia     I'm sorry, Sensei! [14:25] Olivia     I won't do it anymore!     Please let me have it back. [14:28] Sensei     This is the fifth time you said     you wouldn't do it anymore. [14:32] Sensei     School policy forbids you from     bringing manga into school. [14:35] Sensei     I'm confiscating this. [14:36] Sensei     I've also contacted your parents. [14:39] Olivia     You already did? [14:41] Sensei     Yes, I called your home. [14:43] Olivia     But Mom and Dad are both at work. [14:45] Sensei     Your older brother responded     as your guardian. [14:49] Sensei     He said he'd be here later to apologize. SIGN    Pastimers Club [14:54] Hanako     Your brother's coming to school? [14:57] Olivia     Yeah. [14:57] Kasumi     I never knew you had an older brother. [15:01] Olivia     I can't help buying manga magazines along     with lunch at the convenience store. [15:06] Hanako     You could leave it in the club     room and read it during lunch. [15:10] Olivia     I can't help it. I keep     wondering what happens next. [15:12] Hanako     Olivia's brother, huh? [15:16] Hanako     I wonder what he's like. [15:17] Hanako     He's hot! He must be hot! [15:20] Hanako     I have such high expectations. [15:22] Hanako     Crap, I can't calm down! [15:26] Hanako     He probably looks like DiCaprio. [15:28] Hanako     Hey, does your brother have     a girlfriend or anything? [15:34] Olivia     I don't think he does. [15:35] Hanako     Score! [15:36] Kasumi     Is he in high school? [15:38] Olivia     Nah, he's quite a bit older than me. [15:41] Olivia     He graduated early from     Mom's and Dad's college. [15:45] Olivia     He has two PhDs. [15:47] Kasumi     That's amazing. [15:49] Olivia     I never understand half of what he's saying. [15:53] Olivia     But he's so fun. I love him. [15:59] Hanako     I like that you two are so close. [16:00] Olivia     Really? [16:01] Kasumi     Yes. [16:02] Kasumi     I've never felt like that     way about my sister. [16:05] Hanako     My brother's never said anything     like that about me, either. [16:08] Hanako     Olivia's brother... [16:10] Hanako     This could be good! [16:11] Hanako     He probably has a good personality,     if she's so attached to him. [16:15] Hanako     I wouldn't mind having     Olivia call me "Onee-chan!" [16:18] Hanako     I'd like two children or so. [16:22] N     Hanako, 14-years-old, currently     hammering out her wicked life plans. [16:29] Olivia     Hello? [16:30] Olivia     You're here already, Onii-chan? [16:31] Olivia     You're at the gate? [16:34] Olivia     The guard won't let you in? [16:36] Olivia     Okay, I'll come get you right now. [16:38] Olivia     Okay, so I'll be back. [16:40] Hanako     We'll come with you. [16:42] Hanako     Right, Kasumi-san? [16:44] Hanako     Olivia's brother is probably as good as 2D,     so just think of him as an anime character. [16:49] Kasumi     I see. [16:50] Kasumi     So, like, guard x Onii-san. [16:52] Hanako     That's it. [16:52] Hanako     Caressing, entangled,     squeezing, getting squeezed... [16:56] Olivia     There he is. [16:57] Olivia     He's with the guard over there. [17:00] Olivia     Onii-chan! [17:04] Oniisan     Olivia! [17:05] Oniisan     Strike down this barbarian! [17:10] Olivia     Onii-chan! [17:12] Guard     This guy's really your brother?! [17:14] Oniisan     That's what I kept telling you. [17:16] Oniisan     You pedestrian fool. [17:19] Guard     My apologies. [17:20] Oniisan     Oy vey. [17:22] Oniisan     This is why I despise the lower world. [17:24] Olivia     What's the "lower world"? [17:26] [SONG] Hanako     What is this? [17:26] Hanako     What is this? [17:29] Kasumi     H-Hanako-san, uh... [17:32] Kasumi     This might be a rude thought, but... [17:36] Kasumi     Are those two even related? [17:38] Hanako     That's it! [17:38] Hanako     Olivia! [17:40] Kasumi     Wait up, Hanako-san! [17:41] Kasumi     You can't just ask her directly. [17:44] Kasumi     It might be a delicate situation. [17:46] Hanako     But... [17:47] Hanako     All right, fine. [17:48] Hanako     I'll ask her subtly. [17:50] Hanako     Hey, hey, Olivia, did you adopt     him from Akihabara or something? [17:55] Kasumi     Hanako-san! [17:57] Olivia     Wait, did you think we aren't related? [18:00] Olivia     People say that a lot these days. [18:04] Oniisan     What a silly question. [18:05] Oniisan     We are indeed bro and sis. [18:07] Hanako     But the color of your hair... [18:09] Oniisan     Flaunt not your ignorance, child     with no knowledge of Mendel's law. [18:13] Oniisan     You would not be at all surprised     if you were to consider our [18:16] Oniisan     father and mother's genes. [18:18] Oniisan     Behold, my pure blue eyes,     same as my sister Olivia. [18:30] Hanako     He's right. [18:31] Oniisan     So, where be the faculty room? [18:33] Olivia     It's upstairs. [18:34] Olivia     I'll take you there. Follow me. [18:39] Olivia     What's wrong, Onii-chan? [18:41] Olivia     Are you tired? [18:42] Oniisan     No, I'm fine. [18:46] Olivia     The scent of middle school     girls is so powerful, [18:49] Olivia     it gives me a tingle where     I took an arrow to my knee. [18:55] Oniisan     Praise be to raw middle schoolers. [18:58] Hanako     Oh God, he's so gross! [19:01] N     And then what happened? SIGN    Faculty Room [19:02] Oniisan     It is an honor to be in your presence. [19:05] Oniisan     I am but Olivia's humble older     brother, at your service. [19:07] Hanako     Why does he talk like that?! [19:09] Sensei     Right... [19:10] Sensei     So you're Olivia's brother,     from the phone call earlier. [19:14] Sensei     Huh? [19:14] Sensei     He seemed a lot more normal on the phone. [19:17] Oniisan     Is the magazine confiscated from     Olivia still well in your keep? [19:23] Sensei     Oh, this one? [19:25] [SONG] Text     Weekly     Young Chokotto Comic [19:25] Sensei     Olivia-san brings it with her, no matter     how many times she's told not to. [19:29] Oniisan     I sincerely apologize. [19:31] Oniisan     I intend to give her a more     powerful scolding going forward. [19:35] Oniisan     So may I ask that this     magazine is returned to us? [19:39] Sensei     No, I can't do that. [19:41] Oniisan     For mercy's sake... [19:42] Sensei     But, uh... [19:44] Oniisan     For mercy's sake! [19:45] Oniisan     I absolutely must read the rest of Mahou     Shoujo Pretty Kiss on Chokotto Comic! [19:51] Oniisan     I must find out if Pretty     Kiss' friend, Frenchy Kiss, [19:54] Oniisan     who was captured by the evil     Erotica Army, is safe or not! [20:02] Hanako     It was as though the silence had     frozen in place for all eternity. [20:07] Hanako     "Why not buy another copy?" [20:10] Hanako     "Couldn't you buy a copy online     if you're too embarrassed to?" [20:12] Hanako     Those were the words that had been     awaiting release at my throat, [20:15] Hanako     but having seen him here, [20:17] Hanako     at his younger sister's school,     kissing the floor as he pleads, [20:20] Hanako     it was no longer clear to me     that it would be appropriate. [20:23] Hanako     These must have been the thoughts     flowing through our minds that day. [20:30] N     Excerpt from "Hanako's Magnificent     Life," Hakusensha Publishing. [20:35] Sensei     All right, fine. [20:36] Sensei     I'll give it back. [20:38] Hanako     Sensei probably didn't want to     have anything to do with this. SIGN    Play [20:41] N     And then what happened? [20:42] Hanako     Good for you, Olivia-san. [20:42] [SONG] Text     Faculty Room [20:45] Olivia     Yeah. [20:46] Olivia     Sorry, though, Onii-chan. [20:48] Oniisan     Such humiliation is in fact a     treat, for Pretty Kiss' sake. [20:53] Oniisan     Besides, I got to make acquaintances     with raw middle schoolers. [20:56] Oniisan     It's not terrible, descending to     the lower world once in a while. [21:01] Oniisan     Miss Hanako, Miss Kasumi, may I ask     that we exchange LINE contacts? [21:05] Hanako     It's too awkward to say no! [21:07] Hanako     All right, fine. [21:10] Kasumi     I have an old school phone,     so I don't have LINE. [21:13] Hanako     No fair, Kasumi-san! SIGN    That evening [21:16] Oniisan     Hanako-san, good evening,     this is Olivia's brother. [21:21] Oniisan     Thank you for your help this day. [21:24] Hanako     Olivia's onii-chan's messaging me already. [21:27] Hanako     "Hello, no problem." [21:29] Oniisan     It is as though I am dreaming, having     met such a beautiful woman as you. [21:35] Oniisan     My sister is still immature. [21:37] Oniisan     She may well cause the two of     you much trouble going forward. [21:41] Oniisan     If there is ever anything you need,     please feel free to come talk to me. [21:46] Oniisan     Even if the whole world becomes     your enemy, I shall be your ally. SIGN    The next day [21:57] Hanako     Hey, your brother's pretty     badass when he's in the phone. [22:02] Kasumi     *"In the phone"? [22:04] Oniisan     Want to see more pictures     I got of him in my phone? [22:07] Hanako     Don't show me his whole body! 10 - Heart Go Boing Boing | Hanako's Trial of Shame | Secret of the Dong | Film Production Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Heart Go Boing Boing [01:34] ---     "In whose reign was it that a woman of rather     undistinguished lineage captured the heart [01:39] ---     of the Emperor and enjoyed his favor above     all the other imperial wives and concubines?" [01:44] Sensei     Let's translate this to modern Japanese. [01:47] Sensei     Let's see, how about... [01:49] Sensei     Fujiwara-san. [01:52] Fujiwara     Why? [01:53] Fujiwara     For what reason? [01:54] Fujiwara     Why, Japanese? [01:56] Fujiwara     Why do you pick on me for classic literature? [01:59] Fujiwara     Um... [02:01] Fujiwara     Er... [02:02] Sensei     Was this too easy for you, Fujiwara-san? [02:05] Sensei     Okay, someone else? [02:07] Fujiwara     Why? [02:08] Fujiwara     I attended the speech contest in Miss     Olivia's place and got first place, SIGN    Blah Blah Blah Blah Easy Peasy [02:13] Fujiwara     and yet I'm being picked on in     the classic literature class [02:17] Fujiwara     more often than any of my classmates. [02:19] Fujiwara     I can't understand classic literature. [02:22] Girl A     Fujiwara-san. [02:23] Girl B     Could you help us... [02:25] Girl B     ...with classic literature? [02:26] Fujiwara     Dude, no more classic literature. [02:29] Fujiwara     Oh, my... [02:31] Fujiwara     My classmates' eyes are ass holes. [02:34] Fujiwara     The only person with whom equal     communication is possible... [02:38] Fujiwara     Is Miss Olivia. [02:40] Fujiwara     Miss Olivia. [02:42] Olivia     Wh-What is it? [02:44] Fujiwara     That speech contest... [02:47] Olivia     Thanks for doing it in my place. [02:51] Fujiwara     Miss Olivia... [02:52] Fujiwara     If you want to talk to me in     English, that's no problem. [03:00] Olivia     Er... Washroom. [03:01] Olivia     Hanako, come with me. [03:04] Olivia     That girl's bad news! [03:06] Hanako     What? [03:08] Hanako     What's wrong? [03:08] Olivia     Fujiwara-san! [03:09] Olivia     She might be on to the fact     that I can't speak English! [03:13] Hanako     Why is that your first assumption? [03:15] Hanako     She wanted to talk to you     in English, didn't she? [03:17] Hanako     She probably thought you were     fluent enough to talk to. [03:20] Olivia     No, she was definitely testing me. [03:22] Olivia     Oh, no... [03:23] Olivia     I'm going to get ostracized     if people find out. [03:26] Hanako     You wanted people to find out. [03:28] Hanako     This is a good opportunity. [03:29] Hanako     Don't worry, you have me and Kasumi-san. [03:31] Hanako     You're not going to get cast aside. [03:33] Olivia     Are you sure? [03:34] Hanako     I mean, you never had that many friends     besides me and Kasumi-san to begin with. [03:38] Olivia     Hey. [03:39] Fujiwara     Oh my gosh, what's happening? [03:42] Fujiwara     Miss Olivia speaking English is impossible? [03:45] Fujiwara     Incredible. [03:47] Fujiwara     No, when I think about it,     I remember plenty of points. [03:52] Fujiwara     Miss Nomura... [03:54] Fujiwara     She's in the same club as Miss Olivia. [03:58] Fujiwara     Time to do some research. [04:00] Fujiwara     Um, excuse me... [04:03] Fujiwara     Could it be that Miss Olivia     has trouble speaking English? [04:13] Fujiwara     So this is the Japanese kabedon. [04:17] Kasumi     U-Um... [04:19] Kasumi     Please... [04:20] Kasumi     Don't tell anyone about it. [04:22] Fujiwara     Oh, my. [04:24] Fujiwara     For what reason? [04:25] Kasumi     For reasons! [04:27] Fujiwara     Huh? [04:28] Fujiwara     What's happening? [04:29] Fujiwara     This thrill in my heart... [04:31] Fujiwara     Shock... suspense... [04:34] Fujiwara     I might be opening a new door. [04:38] Kasumi     Could you please promise me? [04:40] Fujiwara     I can. [04:41] Fujiwara     But in exchange, let's go on a date. [04:46] Kasumi     B-But... [04:47] Fujiwara     Don't worry about it, if you don't want to. [04:50] Fujiwara     Never mind. [04:51] Fujiwara     I'll just tell everyone     about Miss Olivia's English. [04:55] Kasumi     Um, er, well... [04:58] Kasumi     Uh... [05:00] Kasumi     A-All righ— [05:04] Aozora     Nuh-uh. [05:05] Aozora     I already have her booked. [05:08] Aozora     Sorry, Fujiwara-san. [05:08] Kasumi     Aozora-san... [05:09] Aozora     Let's go. [05:13] ---     Must I spend my life [05:15] ---     stricken with grief, with never     a chance of relief for my heart? [05:22] N     The shock awakens her talent     in classic literature. [05:25] Kasumi     Um, I'm okay now. [05:28] Kasumi     Thanks for helping me. [05:32] Aozora     I just happened to pass by, so... [05:34] Aozora     You're bad at negotiating. [05:36] Aozora     I almost started laughing. [05:39] Aozora     But that makes you interesting. [05:41] Aozora     I like that about you. [05:44] Kasumi     R-Right... [05:50] Aozora     Bye-bye. [05:54] Fujiwara     I think I'll keep the thing     about English a secret so that [05:58] Fujiwara     I have an item to negotiate with for when     I ask Miss Nomura out on a date again. SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Hanako's Trial of Shame [06:07] Olivia     So he lent me his novel,     but it's so complicated, [06:10] Olivia     I couldn't get through three lines. [06:13] Olivia     There're too many characters. [06:15] Kasumi     What was that thing that     happened yesterday? [06:18] Kasumi     No, but Aozora-san seems like a player. [06:22] Kasumi     Maybe she didn't really mean anything by it. [06:25] Kasumi     Hanako-san seems like she's got     something on her mind, too. [06:28] Kasumi     I wonder what's wrong. [06:30] Hanako     This is random, but I want     to make the girls say "poo." [06:36] Hanako     How should I make them do it? [06:37] Hanako     I want them to blurt it out when     it's totally inappropriate. [06:42] Hanako     How do I make such a     situation happen naturally? [06:46] Hanako     This has been weighing on me. [06:47] Kasumi     I-I guess everyone's got their woes. [06:53] N     This one's not really     thinking about anything. [06:56] Olivia     Wh-What's up? [06:57] Hanako     Let's play a game! SIGN    Strawberry Milk [06:59] Hanako     Write some words down. [07:01] Hanako     Lots, guys. Lots. [07:02] Hanako     And fold them up and put them in this box. [07:06] Hanako     Shuffle it up, and now... [07:07] Hanako     Take one each without seeing what     it says, and paste it on your head. [07:13] Olivia     Like this? [07:14] Hanako     That's it. [07:15] Hanako     And the rest of us who can read     it try to get you to say it. [07:19] Hanako     If you do, you lose. [07:20] Olivia     So it's kind of like Taboo. [07:23] Hanako     I wonder what mine says. [07:26] Hanako     I had them each write ten words, and I'm     pretending I chose them at random... [07:32] Hanako     But I wrote "poo" on all ten of mine! SIGN    Poo Poo Poo Poo Poo Poo Poo [07:36] Hanako     Too bad, though, they haven't     gotten "poo" this time. [07:41] Hanako     Maybe they'll get it on the second round. [07:44] Hanako     It'll be hilarious if they both     have "poo" on their heads. [07:48] Hanako     I'm totally going to make them say it! [07:50] Hanako     Poo! SIGN    Poo SIGN    Kiss Smart [07:54] Kasumi     Wh-Who wrote that one? [07:56] Hanako     Let's see... [07:57] Hanako     Let's get Olivia first. [07:59] Hanako     I got the second highest     grade in our year last term. [08:03] Olivia     Oh yeah, you did. [08:04] Kasumi     You're surprisingly studious, Hanako-san. [08:08] Hanako     I was hooked on looking     at cat anuses at the time, though, [08:11] Hanako     so I couldn't study too much. [08:14] Hanako     Even then, I got second place effortlessly. [08:18] Hanako     What's the deal with my head? [08:25] Olivia     You were totally studying your ass off. [08:27] Olivia     I think you have, like, five screws     loose in your head, though. [08:31] Hanako     Huh? [08:32] Hanako     Do people think I'm not smart? [08:38] Kasumi     Wait, what's wrong? [08:40] Kasumi     Did we say something bad? [08:41] Olivia     Okay, Kasumi's my target. [08:43] Olivia     Hey, you do that thing, don't you? [08:45] Olivia     You know... [08:46] Hanako     Do what? [08:47] Olivia     Like, you know, that thing. [08:49] Olivia     I do it, too. [08:50] Olivia     When I say hi to Mom and Dad. [08:52] Olivia     Like... [08:54] Olivia     Smooch. [08:55] Olivia     Olivia, you idiot! [08:57] Olivia     You made Kasumi-san's taboo word so obvious! [09:02] Kasumi     No, er, I... [09:05] Olivia     I know you do it. [09:08] Olivia     Your family— [09:08] Kasumi     Did you... [09:09] Kasumi     Did you see what happened in the hallway? [09:15] Hanako     Kasumi-san... [09:17] Hanako     Tell me... [09:19] Olivia     Oh, shit! [09:22] Olivia     Question for Hanako! [09:24] Olivia     What's brown and... [09:26] Hanako     Poo. [09:27] Olivia     Hanako loses. [09:28] Olivia     How did she know from just that hint?! [09:29] Hanako     Olivia, come with me. SIGN    Slam [09:33] Hanako     Ta-da. [09:35] Hanako     It's time for Hanako's     emergency Trial of Shame. [09:39] Hanako     The charge: Suspicion of     chissing in the hallway. [09:43] Hanako     And our betrayal. [09:46] Hanako     And causing me humiliation. [09:49] Hanako     And probably something else. [09:53] Kasumi     There's just more and more! [09:54] Hanako     I-I plead innocent. [09:58] Hanako     Would you still say that     after hearing this song? [10:01] Hanako     You climb the stairs to adulthood,     but you're still a Cinderella. [10:08] Kasumi     Wh-What song is that? [10:11] Hanako     You don't know? [10:12] Hanako     I don't know the rest of the lyrics, either. [10:14] Kasumi     Stop it, please. [10:16] Kasumi     I want to believe that a girl's     friendship is stronger than that. [10:20] Hanako     Nay! [10:22] Hanako     A girl's friendship is as flimsy as a sheet     of calligraphy paper drenched in black ink. [10:28] Hanako     Right, Olivia-chan? [10:29] Hanako     You love shoujo manga, don't you? [10:31] Hanako     All those manga you read depict     such tenuous friendships [10:33] Hanako     as though they're endearing, don't they? [10:36] Hanako     You love ChokoComi, don't you? [10:39] Hanako     No... There's no one in ChokoComi     who would dress up like this [10:43] Hanako     to interrogate her friend just     because she went and kissed someone. [10:45] (Flashback) Girl 1     You kissed them?! [10:47] (Flashback) Girl 1     No way, congrats! [10:48] (Flashback) Girl 2     Thanks. [10:49] Olivia     Like that. [10:51] Hanako     They just don't show it in the manga! [10:52] Hanako     This is what they all do behind the scenes! [10:55] Olivia     Behind the scenes? What? [10:57] Olivia     You know, though, it really wasn't the     kind of thing you'd be pissed about. [11:00] Hanako     Why not? [11:01] Olivia     Because... [11:02] Olivia     We're in a girls' school. [11:08] Hanako     All right! [11:09] Hanako     I'm sorry! [11:10] Hanako     You're innocent, Kasumi-san. [11:12] Kasumi     I'm free? [11:14] Hanako     Sure you are. [11:15] Hanako     Sorry. [11:16] Hanako     I made a mistake. [11:18] Hanako     We're friends, Kasumi-san. [11:19] Hanako     I love you! [11:21] Hanako     A girl's friendship is indestructible! [11:23] Hanako     BFFs! [11:24] Olivia     It's even more shallow now! [11:27] Hanako     You could have told me you     were kissing another girl. [11:30] Hanako     It's just an extension of saying hi. [11:34] Hanako     Not a problem at all! [11:38] Kasumi     Y-You're right. SIGN    Asobi Asobase [11:46] Aozora     Nomura-san, there's something     I want you to see. [11:50] Kasumi     Wh-What's that? [11:52] Aozora     The truth is, I... [12:06] Kasumi     Why did I have such a dream? SIGN    Secret of the Dong SIGN    Home Economics [12:13] Sensei     Do you have all your materials, everyone? [12:16] Sensei     Okay, you can begin making your hotcakes. SIGN    Cooking Practice [12:19] Olivia     What's up? [12:20] Hanako     I wasn't listening to Sensei,     so I don't know how to do it. [12:23] Olivia     Same. [12:24] Kasumi     Hey, I was listening. [12:27] Hanako     Okay, we'll do it as you tell us. [12:29] Kasumi     First, break the eggs. [12:31] Kasumi     Pour in 100 ml of milk. SIGN    Taisho Yummy Milk SIGN    Hotcake Mix [12:34] Kasumi     Add in the hotcake mix. [12:36] Kasumi     And beat it well with the schlng. [12:38] Hanako     Use the schlng... [12:40] Kasumi     ...to beat it well. [12:41] Kasumi     Sch— [12:43] Hanako     What the hell, Kasumi-san?! [12:45] Olivia     Why would you stir with such a thing?! [12:46] Kasumi     No, I'm sorry, I meant, use the whisk! [12:49] Kasumi     Use the wiener! [12:50] Hanako     You're still messed up! [12:51] N     And then what happened? [12:53] Olivia     Oh yeah, my dad went to     Okinawa for a business trip. [12:56] Olivia     He brought home this really tasty gift. [12:58] Hanako     What was it? [13:00] Olivia     It was this Okinawan snack. [13:03] Olivia     Chin... [13:04] Olivia     Chin... [13:05] Kasumi     Oh, I know what you're talking about. [13:06] Kasumi     Dick juice (chinkosu). [13:07] Kasumi     Wait, no, dick cheese (chinkasu). [13:09] Kasumi     That's not it. [13:09] Kasumi     Penis (chinpoko)... [13:09] Kasumi     Right, it's chinsukou. [13:11] Hanako     Kasumi-san, are you sure you're okay? [13:13] Hanako     You should go to the nurse's office. [13:15] Kasumi     No, I-I'm fine. [13:22] Kasumi     What in the world has gotten into me? [13:26] Kasumi     It's because I had that weird dream. [13:29] Kasumi     I can't get that image out of my head. [13:31] Kasumi     I don't want to turn into a pervert. [13:35] Kasumi     I have to get that image     out of my head somehow. [13:39] Kasumi     So... I have to find out. [13:46] Kasumi     Hanako-san, Olivia-san... [13:49] Kasumi     I need to talk. [13:50] Hanako     What's wrong? You're kind of weird today. [13:53] Olivia     Is there something bothering you? [13:54] Kasumi     Yes. [13:56] Kasumi     The truth is... [13:58] Kasumi     I want to look inside Aozora-san's skirt. [14:03] Hanako     Kasumi-san's turned into a pervert. [14:07] Hanako     Want to go to the hospital? [14:09] Hanako     Although even if you told them you're     all better, they might not let you out. [14:12] Kasumi     No! [14:12] Olivia     I never knew you were like that. [14:13] Kasumi     Wait, wait! [14:14] Kasumi     Remember what you said, Olivia-san? [14:17] Olivia     What? [14:17] Kasumi     That Aozora-san might be a guy. [14:19] Olivia     Oh, I might have said that. [14:22] Olivia     That was my mistake, though. [14:23] Kasumi     Hold on! [14:24] Kasumi     What if you weren't mistaken? [14:26] Hanako     Why are you suddenly so suspicious? [14:28] Kasumi     Well, uh... [14:29] Kasumi     I can't tell them it's     because I had a weird dream. [14:33] Hanako     I mean, if that'll make you feel better... SIGN    Pastimers Club [14:37] Hanako     Okay, I'll tell you the most common     technique for looking up someone's skirt. [14:43] Hanako     That technique is... [14:44] Hanako     To pretend you tripped, and     dive into a girl's undies! [14:51] Olivia     If you're talking about the illustration     above your head, I'm kind of really confused. [14:55] Kasumi     Like, I don't know how you get there. [14:58] Hanako     Okay, well maybe you can't     see inside her undies, [15:00] Hanako     but you could do this much, couldn't you? [15:02] Kasumi     I-I guess I could do that. SIGN    10 minutes later [15:04] Hanako     You should bring some print-outs with     you so it doesn't look so deliberate. [15:07] Kasumi     Here she comes. [15:12] Aozora     Nomura-san... [15:14] Aozora     Are you okay? [15:17] Kasumi     Y-Yes. [15:20] Kasumi     I'm sorry. I failed. [15:22] Hanako     Lucky, Kasumi-san, that was really good! [15:25] Hanako     I wish she'd hold me up like that, too. [15:26] Olivia     Did she smell nice? [15:27] Kasumi     Olivia's sounding like a geezer. [15:30] Kasumi     It's kind of hard tripping on purpose. [15:33] Hanako     And it would hurt, too. [15:35] Olivia     I have a good idea. [15:37] Olivia     Patient in critical     condition, coming through! SIGN    A few moments earlier [15:43] Olivia     So we're going to speed up really     fast in front of Aozora-san, [15:47] Olivia     and then let go by "accident." [15:49] Olivia     This would be the only way     Aozora-san can dodge you. [15:53] Olivia     How's that? [15:54] Olivia     You could totally see her panties that way. [15:56] Olivia     You're going to pass by her     with her legs spread wide. [16:00] Kasumi     Uh, well... [16:02] Hanako     It'll work. [16:03] Kasumi     Hanako-san gets good grades,     but she's probably a dumbass. [16:06] Kasumi     So here I am now, but the only     reason I'm being carried like this [16:10] Kasumi     is so that I can see if     Aozora-san has a cck. [16:14] Kasumi     Father, Mother, I'm sorry for being born. [16:19] Hanako     There she is. [16:21] Olivia     Aozora-san! [16:23] Olivia     Sorry, move, move! [16:26] Olivia     Just kidding, we're actually speeding up. [16:31] N     It would be most sensible*     to continue going straight. [16:35] N     But the girls' objective was     to charge at Aozora-san, [16:38] N     and so they unthinkingly made a sharp turn. [16:44] Hanako     We're losing balance! [16:46] Olivia     We're tipping over! [16:54] Kasumi     Huh? [16:56] Kasumi     The ceiling? [16:57] Kasumi     What happened? [17:00] Kasumi     Where are they? [17:03] Kasumi     Amazing. SIGN    Absolutely not in a good way. [17:06] Aozora     Nomura-san, are you okay? [17:08] Kasumi     Huh? [17:08] Kasumi     Y-Yes. [17:10] Aozora     You were going to the nurse's office     because you felt sick, weren't you? [17:13] Aozora     Hold on, I'll take you there. [17:15] Kasumi     U-Um, I think they're sicker than I am. [17:19] Aozora     Look at their acrobatics. [17:22] Aozora     I'm sure they're fine. [17:22] Kasumi     But... [17:25] Olivia     Someone, help... SIGN    Asobi Asobase [17:32] Hanako     We're in space. [17:34] Hanako     Finally. [17:36] Hanako     We're finally here. SIGN    Film Production [17:45] Kasumi     Cut! [17:46] Kasumi     That's good. [17:48] Hanako     Kasumi-san, is this really safe? [17:51] Kasumi     What do you mean? [17:53] Hanako     We aren't going to have     technical difficulties [17:55] Hanako     airing this at the cultural festival, are we? [17:57] Kasumi     O-Of course not. [17:59] Olivia     Why are we even doing a movie for the     Pastimers Club's cultural festival exhibit? [18:03] Olivia     And why did it have to be sci-fi? [18:05] Olivia     We could have done romance     or mystery or whatever else. [18:07] Kasumi     I-I saw Star Trek. [18:10] Hanako     That's the only reason we're doing sci-fi?! [18:12] Hanako     Are you sure you know enough about it?! [18:14] Kasumi     It's fine. [18:16] Kasumi     I learned that all you     need to do to look like [18:18] Kasumi     an alien is to stand     expressionless with a bowl cut. [18:20] Hanako     That's what you got out of Star Trek?! [18:22] Kasumi     Olivia-san's a sexy alien spy. [18:25] Olivia     O-Okay. [18:26] Hanako     Olivia, hang on, are you wearing pads? [18:29] Olivia     They aren't big ones. [18:30] Hanako     No fair! [18:31] Kasumi     By the way, I'd like the spy's     actress to decide her fate. [18:36] Kasumi     How would you like to perish? [18:38] Olivia     She says it like I have an option,     but I'm dying either way, aren't I? [18:41] Kasumi     Okay, here we go. [18:43] Kasumi     Start! [18:48] Olivia     I-I am sexy spy. [18:53] Kasumi     Okay, that was excellent! [18:56] Hanako     The spy just introduced herself as a spy. [18:59] Kasumi     Okay, next, a serious stare-down scene. [19:02] Kasumi     Start. [19:03] Hanako     What? [19:04] Hanako     Sexy spy, you say? [19:12] Hanako     Just once... [19:14] Kasumi     Hanako-san! [19:15] Kasumi     No blinking! [19:16] Hanako     Kasumi-san... [19:18] Hanako     I can't! [19:19] Hanako     I can't stare for a whole minute! [19:20] Kasumi     This scene is a whole minute of staring. [19:22] Kasumi     I'm counting on you. [19:23] Kasumi     Start. [19:25] Hanako     Sexy spy, you say? [19:31] Hanako     Scary, scary, scary! [19:33] Kasumi     All right, cut! SIGN    Haah, haah, haah... [19:37] Hanako     Oh yeah, don't you think it's kind of boring     not having a spaceship in a sci-fi movie? [19:41] Kasumi     Th-That's true. [19:44] Kasumi     How about a cardboard box     that says "spaceship" on it? SIGN    Spaceship [19:47] Hanako     Dude, that's just a cardboard     box that says "spaceship" on it. [19:50] Kasumi     It'll look convincing if you hold a     lever thing and shout "skadoosh." [19:56] Hanako     You're making a complete mockery of sci-fi! [20:00] Sensei     Sorry I'm late, guys. [20:02] Sensei     How's the movie coming? [20:04] Olivia     Sci-fi's harder than we thought, Sensei. [20:08] Sensei     Sci-fi? [20:09] Sensei     You're the Pastimers Club, so why     don't you have some pastime props? [20:14] Kasumi     Sensei... [20:16] Kasumi     Are you mocking sci-fi? [20:18] Sensei     I'm sorry. [20:19] Hanako     You're standing in front of     the biggest mocker, Sensei. [20:22] Hanako     It's fine. [20:23] Sensei     But I think you should take the     opportunity to advertise the club. [20:26] Olivia     That's true. [20:27] Olivia     We should show them that we're     doing proper club stuff, [20:30] Olivia     or they're going to start telling     us to vacate the room again. [20:34] Kasumi     How about this, then? [20:37] Olivia     Help me! [20:41] Hanako     You have no escape from the high-tech     restraint of the Skippy-Ropey. [20:48] Hanako     And with this enhanced interrogation tool, [20:52] Hanako     I shall make you confess     all of your spy activities. [20:55] Olivia     Th-That's... [20:57] Olivia     The most advanced interrogation tool     in the universe, the Kewpie-chan! [21:01] Olivia     Oh, no! [21:03] Olivia     That tool is going to blow my mind. [21:07] Olivia     It's going to do things to me. [21:12] Hanako     It is truly mind-blowing. [21:15] Hanako     I tried it on myself, and it wasn't     long before my brain went whack. [21:24] Olivia     Honda-san! [21:25] Olivia     I'm pretty sure your brain's already whack [21:27] Olivia     if you're using interrogation     tools on yourself! [21:30] Kasumi     How's that? [21:31] Sensei     Um... [21:33] Sensei     I-I think it'll be good... [21:37] Kasumi     Yeah! [21:37] Olivia     Oh, jeez, she's got such a good smile. SIGN    Pastimers Club [21:40] Hanako     Hey, what do you think of this poster I made? [21:43] Kasumi     It's perfect! [21:45] Kasumi     Could you write "Announcing     Anime Season 2!" at the top? [21:48] Hanako     But there's no plans for a season 2. [21:50] Kasumi     I want it to look like a huge project. SIGN    Announcing Anime Season 2!! [21:53] Hanako     I never knew Kasumi was such a dreamer. [22:02] [SONG] ---     The Tale of Genji Excerpt Translation: Dennis Washburn SIGN    Japanese Pastimes, Please [23:27] N     Tag. SIGN    Tag SIGN    Murderer [23:28] N     A game in which one becomes a demon. SIGN    Alien     demon [23:31] N     Oni are often arrested for     taking their pranks too far. SIGN    Unit-01     Oni [23:35] N     Because of the dangers involved,     it is banned at school. 11 - Goodbye, Student Council President | Oka-ken Witch Project | Face of Mass Destruction Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Goodbye, Student Council President [01:34] President     Nope. [01:35] Hanako     Why not, Student Council President?! [01:37] Hanako     It's an epic! [01:39] Kasumi     I even made a poster. [01:40] President     No matter how epic it may be, [01:42] President     I can't allow it to be screened     at the cultural festival. [01:44] President     There are way too many things     that make it a no-go. [01:47] President     Especially troubling was the torture scene, [01:49] President     where you tried to shove an     onion-head doll up her ass. [01:53] Hanako     That was faked! [01:54] Hanako     I told you to cut that scene, Kasumi-san! [01:57] Olivia     She's so freaked out. [01:59] President     In any case, I can't allow it. [02:00] President     Please bring us another proposal     for the cultural festival. [02:06] Hanako     We'll be back with a director's cut version. [02:09] President     The director's cut must be even worse. [02:14] President     Student Council President     work is pretty drab. [02:17] President     Is my precious term going to end responding     to all these stupid problems? [02:22] Kasumi     How long will you be here tomorrow? [02:24] President     Let's see... [02:25] President     There are still some clubs that     haven't submitted their proposals, [02:28] President     so I need to bug them. [02:29] President     The vice president should be here,     so she should respond in my place. [02:34] Kasumi     There's a vice president? [02:36] President     There is, believe it or not. [02:38] N     And then what happened? [02:40] President     I wonder when the vice     president's getting here. [02:42] VP     Hey, President! Sowwie! [02:45] VP     I'm back from the meeting with Opposite-san. [02:48] President     Thank you, Vice President. [02:50] President     Can you take it from here? [02:52] VP     Roger that. SIGN    Girls' School SIGN    Convenience store SIGN    Hospital [02:53] President     The cultural festival is held     every year with the boys' school [02:57] President     on the opposite side of the street. SIGN    Boys' school [03:00] President     Everyone calls the boys' school     by their nickname, Opposite-san. [03:04] President     And this vice president goes to the     boys' school just about every day, [03:09] President     saying it's for "meetings." [03:13] President     By herself, no less. [03:14] President     Um, should I come to Opposite-san     with you for once? [03:18] President     It must be tough holding meetings     with them by yourself. [03:21] VP     It's okay. [03:22] VP     I mean, you have a lot to do. [03:24] VP     I don't want to waste your     time doing grunt work. [03:28] President     I see. [03:29] President     To be honest, I'm the one     doing grunt work every day. [03:32] President     Thank you for your consideration. [03:37] President     The negative emotions in my heart     spread like soy sauce stains. [03:44] VP     Hey, what's up? [03:46] VP     What? You miss me? [03:48] VP     Okay, sure. [03:49] VP     I'll be right back. [03:51] VP     Sorry, President, they need me for stuff     again, so I'm going back to Opposite-san. [03:55] President     But I have to go visit the other clubs. [03:59] President     I need you to watch the office. [04:01] VP     You should just put up a sign     saying "Not in the office." [04:04] President     Actually, I'll go to Opposite-san while     I'm out visiting the other clubs, [04:07] President     so I'd like you to stay here. [04:10] VP     No way. [04:11] VP     I'm the only one who knows how to do it. [04:12] President     Just tell me, and I'll deal with it. [04:14] VP     Nope, nope, nope! You wouldn't     get it, even if I told you. [04:18] VP     It's really complicated. [04:19] President     Okay, now what? [04:22] President     I want to solve everything peacefully. [04:25] President     I absolutely don't want to get in     a fight with the vice president. [04:28] President     But just once... [04:30] President     Just once in my life... [04:32] President     I want to go visit Opposite-san. [04:38] President     Rock, paper, scissors. [04:42] President     Oh, no, I ran out in such a hurry. [04:47] President     This is awful. She isn't on to me, is she? [04:48] President     She hasn't realized that I wanted     to go to the boys' school, has she? [04:52] President     I never knew I had such a slutty streak. [04:55] President     Please don't let anyone notice     this tiny bud within me. [05:04] President     Boys' school! Woo! [05:06] Girl A     The president's happy to go to Opposite-san? [05:09] Girl B     That's a bit creepy. SIGN    Supernatural Phenomena Science Club AKA Occult Club [05:11] President     Oh, yeah, the Occult Club hasn't     submitted their proposal yet. [05:17] President     I should go in and ask them first. [05:25] President     Th-They have terrifying glares, as always. [05:28] Oka     Is something wrong, President? [05:31] President     Uh, you haven't submitted a     proposal for your contribution [05:34] President     to the cultural festival, have you? [05:37] Oka     We plan on opening a snack shop. [05:41] President     Huh, a snack shop? [05:43] President     I see, I see. [05:44] President     Is that... [05:46] President     I can't bring myself to ask if     it's safe for human consumption. [05:50] President     That sounds delicious. [05:52] Oka     Please have one, President. [05:55] President     Th-Thank you. [05:58] Oka     Please let me know what you think. [06:00] Agrippa     Have it now, please. [06:07] President     Th-Thank you. [06:10] Oka     That gesture... [06:11] Agrippa     It was like a "have mercy" pose. [06:13] President     Okay, please bring me your proposal later. SIGN    Supernatural     Phenomena     Science Club      AKA Occult Club [06:16] President     Please let me be safe. [06:19] Olivia     Why did you have squid ink     spaghetti for lunch, Hanako? [06:22] Olivia     It reeked pretty bad. [06:23] Hanako     Mom's hooked on squid ink right now. [06:25] Olivia     Your lips are black as hell. [06:27] Kasumi     Hey, President. [06:28] Hanako     That's perfect. [06:29] Hanako     President! [06:31] Olivia     Could you look at the movie again? [06:33] Kasumi     Onion-head's not in it anymore. [06:35] President     Wait, hang on a second. [06:37] President     I'm going to Opposite... [06:38] Olivia     Oh, yeah, I saw you come     out of the Occult Club. [06:41] Hanako     Hey, they're running a snack shop     for the cultural festival, right? [06:43] President     Huh? How did you know? [06:50] President     Have you happened to try     the Occult Club's candy? [06:55] Hanako     Yes. [06:56] Hanako     They gave me one yesterday. [07:01] President     One-day incubation period... [07:05] President     Please go see a doctor as soon     as you can, too, Honda-san. [07:11] Hanako     What was that? [07:13] Kasumi     It was like a "have mercy" thing. [07:16] VP     It's a message from the president. [07:19] VP     She's going to the hospital, huh? [07:21] VP     I guess I'm going to Opposite-san, then! SIGN    Tee hee [07:26] N     The president had no idea that     the vice president was going out [07:30] N     with all six members of the     Opposite-san student council. [07:33] N     This leads to the worst bloodshed     in the school's history, [07:38] N     but that's a story for another time. SIGN    Asobi Asobase [07:44] [SONG] ---     Oka-ken Witch Project [07:48] Agrippa     Luu. [07:50] Agrippa     Isn't it great that the     president tried our candy? [07:53] Olivia     Yeah. [07:53] Agrippa     I'm sure we'll get approval     for the snack shop. [07:56] Olivia     Oh, and I want to make other     snacks, aside from candy. [08:00] Agrippa     Good idea. [08:02] Agrippa     Let's make a huge menu. [08:03] Agrippa     All right, let's go for it. [08:05] Olivia     Yeah. [08:06] Agrippa     Let's witch cooking! [08:09] Olivia     How about cookies? [08:11] Agrippa     That sounds easy. [08:12] Olivia     Yeah, you just have to knead     it, mold it and bake it. [08:15] Agrippa     It would be kind of lame     doing normal cookies though. [08:18] Olivia     Okay, let's draw designs for     witchy cookies and share them. [08:22] Agrippa     Okay. [08:23] N     And then what happened? [08:25] Agrippa     Okay, let's share them. [08:27] Olivia     I propose witch hat and broom cookies. [08:31] Agrippa     That's so cute. [08:33] Olivia     How about yours, Agrippa? [08:35] Agrippa     A mouse jammed into concrete cookie. [08:40] Olivia     You sure are crazy. [08:44] Agrippa     Thank you! [08:45] Agrippa     Want to make all of these, then? [08:48] Olivia     Yeah, let's do that. [08:49] Olivia     Done! [08:51] Agrippa     They turned out well. [08:53] Olivia     Yeah. [08:53] Olivia     How about yours, Agrippa? [08:54] Agrippa     They're almost done. [08:57] Agrippa     My grandma gave me this     vial of magic essence. [09:03] Agrippa     Can I pour a drop in the end? [09:05] Olivia     What does it do? [09:07] Agrippa     I don't know. [09:08] Agrippa     But my grandma taught me a long time ago... [09:11] (Flashback) Grandma     Aguri, this is a magic essence to     use when the time is truly right. [09:17] (Flashback) Agrippa     Is it magic? [09:19] (Flashback) Grandma     It sure is. [09:20] (Flashback) Grandma     Just a drop of this when you need     it, and it'll make everyone happy. [09:25] Olivia     Okay, let's do it. [09:28] Agrippa     Let's make everyone who tries it happy! SIGN    Faculty Room [09:33] Sensei     Me? Taste test it? [09:35] Olivia     Yes, Sensei. [09:37] Agrippa     We want to hear what you think of it. [09:39] Sensei     Are you sure you want me to try it? [09:42] Sensei     I can't wait. [09:43] Sensei B     What's that, Sensei? [09:45] Sensei A     The Occult Club girls made these snacks. [09:48] Sensei B     That's great. [09:49] Sensei B     What does it look like? [09:53] Sensei A     What is this?! [09:54] Olivia     Cookies. [09:55] Agrippa     I think they'll be delicious. [09:56] Agrippa     Try it. [10:04] Sensei A     Hey, it just tastes like a normal cookie. [10:07] Sensei A     It has an utterly normal texture     and an absolutely normal flavor. [10:11] Sensei A     Normal. [10:13] Sensei B     Sensei's expectations were so low that [10:15] Sensei B     he's acting like he had the     ultimate dish even though [10:17] Sensei B     all he's saying is that it's normal. [10:18] Olivia     We're thinking of selling     these at the cultural fair. [10:21] Agrippa     What do you think? [10:22] Sensei A     I think it'd be good. [10:24] Sensei A     Kids would probably love these designs. [10:27] Sensei A     More than anything, it tasted     normal. It was great. [10:32] Olivia     Good for us, Agrippa. [10:34] Agrippa     Yeah. [10:35] Agrippa     Maybe Grandma's magic essence worked. [10:39] Agrippa     Thank you, Grandma. [10:41] Grandma     I'll be waiting at Walpurgis Night. [10:54] Sensei A     Cookies... [10:56] Sensei A     I want those cookies... [11:00] Sensei A     Cookies... SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Face of Mass Destruction SIGN    Pastimers Club [11:16] Hanako     How are we going to get approval     for our cultural fair movie? [11:20] Olivia     Oh yeah, we never got to     meet the vice president. [11:23] Hanako     What was she even like, anyway? [11:24] Kasumi     I think she made a speech     when she took office. [11:27] Hanako     I was asleep standing. I don't remember. [11:29] Kasumi     She seemed really proper. [11:31] Hanako     Like the president? [11:32] Kasumi     Yeah, yeah. [11:33] Kasumi     She had the same kind of     vibe as the president. [11:35] VP     President! [11:37] VP     I'm headed to Opposite-san again. [11:43] Sensei C     I'd like to speak to you about the posters. [11:46] President     Wh-What about them? SIGN    53rd Cultural Festival [11:48] Sensei C     Is it true that this is the final version? [11:51] President     Th-The art club says this     is all they could draw. [11:54] President     So, they've taken on surrealist influences... [11:57] President     It's a deconstruction of     the concept of humanity [11:59] President     and a prayer for lasting peace on Earth. [12:01] Sensei C     Have them redo it. [12:03] President     Why?! [12:04] Sensei C     Why? [12:05] Sensei C     Make it something a little     less controversial. [12:09] President     I have to negotiate with them again? SIGN    Art Club - Them [12:14] President     This is making me depressed. [12:15] Sensei C     Say, where's the vice president? [12:17] President     She was just here. [12:20] President     Um... [12:22] VP     What is it? [12:23] VP     I've been here the whole time. [12:25] Sensei C     Uh, why are you drenched     every time I see you? [12:29] VP     I like dumping water on myself. [12:30] Sensei C     Are you making good progress on your     meetings with the boys' school? [12:34] Sensei C     There hasn't been a single report. [12:35] VP     All is going well. [12:37] Sensei C     I'll be leaving, then. [12:38] Sensei C     Please take care of the poster. [12:40] President     Okay. [12:43] President     You know, you're always impeccable     when you go to Opposite-san, [12:44] VP     I have to put my makeup back on quick! [12:48] President     but you really don't need to go that far. [12:50] President     Makeup is mostly banned     at our school, after all. [12:54] VP     Are you serious, President? [12:55] VP     Are you telling me to show     myself to boys without makeup? [12:58] VP     That's the same thing as telling boys     to walk around with their wangs out. [13:03] President     That analogy would mean that your face     without makeup is equal to a pnis. [13:08] President     No, I don't think it's really that obscene. [13:12] VP     That's not the point. [13:13] VP     The point is that it's bad etiquette. [13:16] VP     I've only ever shown them     my face with clothes on. [13:19] VP     I can't show them my naked face now. [13:22] VP     Understand? [13:23] President     Uh-huh. [13:24] President     Well, whatever. [13:26] President     Anyway, I'm going to take this poster     to the art club to negotiate. [13:30] President     I'll leave the rest to you. [13:31] VP     Okay. [13:36] VP     What's up, President? [13:37] VP     Forget something? [13:38] Hanako     Pardon me, we're here to     make our request once more. [13:41] VP     Sure, sure. [13:43] VP     Shit, a dude! [13:44] VP     What is it? [13:45] Hanako     Where's the president? [13:47] VP     I guess I'll just do half my face for now. [13:49] VP     The president's not in right now. [13:51] VP     As the vice president, I'll     take your inquiries for now. [13:53] Hanako     Vice president? [13:54] Hanako     Huh? She isn't quite like how*     Kasumi-san described her. [13:57] Hanako     U-Um... [13:58] Hanako     We'd like to show a movie     for the cultural festival. [14:00] Hanako     We're here for permission. [14:01] VP     Oh, the Pastimers Club? [14:03] VP     I'm sorry, the president watched the edited     video, but she said it's still a no. [14:07] Hanako     In that case, Maeda will grovel     in my place, so please. [14:13] Maeda     Uh, Hanako-sama, that's... [14:15] Hanako     I'm begging you! [14:16] Hanako     I've begged a ton of times already! [14:19] Hanako     What difference does it make for     you to tip your cheap head? [14:22] Hanako     Come on, grovel on all fours! [14:23] Maeda     U-Understood. [14:25] Maeda     If that is your wish, Hanako-sama. [14:27] VP     What the... Seriously? [14:28] Maeda     Miss Vice President, I beg of you! [14:40] Maeda     Hey, Hanako-sama... [14:42] Maeda     I apologize, for my buttocks have torn. [14:46] Hanako     O-Okay. [14:47] Hanako     That's pretty bad if your     butt gets torn, right? [14:49] VP     Um, er... [14:50] Hanako     Okay, why don't you grovel again, [14:54] Hanako     this time to apologize to the     door you made a hole in? [14:55] Maeda     Yes, ma'am. [14:56] VP     Wait, not that angle. [14:59] VP     Seriously, go away. [15:00] VP     What the hell? It's so breezy. [15:04] VP     Whatever, I need to stop     thinking and finish my makeup. [15:09] Olivia     Um... [15:10] Olivia     I'm with the Pastimers Club. [15:12] VP     The Pastimers Club again?! [15:13] Olivia     M-My brother will explain. [15:16] VP     This girl's brother?! [15:18] VP     Come in. [15:21] Olivia     Huh? Her face changed on a dime. [15:23] Olivia     My mood right now is     overwhelmingly this side. [15:26] Olivia     O-Onii-chan, prove her wrong! [15:30] Oniichan     Leave this to me. [15:32] Oniichan     I come with a wish to see this here     Olivia's film granted approval. [15:37] Oniichan     This movie... [15:38] Oniichan     may, at first glance, appear to present     itself as a lofty creed of faith, [15:41] Oniichan     but this is not the case. [15:42] Oniichan     It is but a collection of clichés from     Hollywood's popular entertainment — [15:46] Oniichan     an amalgamation of myriad pastiches — [15:49] Oniichan     a passage, in Benjamin's terms. [15:51] Oniichan     The depictions of brutality     and chaos are, in this sense, [15:54] Oniichan     most appropriately described as     a "flirtation with tokenism," [15:59] Oniichan     devoid of any of its original deviance. [16:00] Oniichan     Indeed, film was, fundamentally,     a parody of reality — [16:01] Oniichan     a mimesis of mimesis, which,     as its primary function, [16:04] Oniichan     sought to actively rid itself of meaning. [16:05] Oniichan     Therefore, by this argument,     film is best understood as a [16:07] Oniichan     descendant of the bread-and-circus     entertainment of ancient Rome, [16:09] Oniichan     wherein an evaluation based     on its educational merit [16:10] Olivia     Wow! [16:11] VP     Sorry, the VP is stupid.     I totally don't get it. [16:11] Oniichan     is antithetical to its fundamental being, [16:13] Oniichan     rendering it a caricature     of itself, but alas, [16:14] Oniichan     the school council president's     deliberation... [16:16] Girl A     I'm pretty sure I cut my bangs too short. [16:19] Girl B     I think you look fine. [16:21] Guy A     Hey. [16:22] Girl B     Whoa, that was the Opposite-san     school council president. [16:26] Girl A     He's so hot! [16:28] Guy A     My beautiful vice president,     forgive me, I'm here unannounced. [16:33] VP     Jeez, they flustered me, and now     I messed up the right half. [16:38] VP     It's all the Pastimers Club's fault. [16:41] VP     Guess I'll fix it up in the washroom. [16:43] Guy A     Hey, I snuck in to see you. [16:58] VP     I'm sorry, a pretty girl's got a lot of faces. [17:03] VP     Now, then, what should I do? [17:07] Hanako     It doesn't work when it's     just one of us at a time. [17:10] Hanako     Let's all go together. [17:11] Olivia     Onii-chan did his best, but... [17:13] VP     Give me a break! [17:15] Hanako     Huh? [17:16] Hanako     Vice President? [17:17] Hanako     Where'd she go? [17:19] Hanako     She was here a minute ago. [17:24] Olivia     What should we do? [17:25] Hanako     Want to come back later? [17:27] Kasumi     This desk takes me back. [17:31] Kasumi     We hid under that desk when     we came here last time. [17:35] Kasumi     Are the three of us from back     then still under the table? [17:38] Kasumi     Just kidding. [17:42] Hanako     Let's come back later, then. [17:45] Hanako     What's up, Kasumi-san? [17:48] Kasumi     There's a corpse under the desk. [17:50] Hanako     It's true! [17:52] Olivia     Oh my God, that's scary! [17:53] VP     They found him already. [17:56] Hanako     We brought him out here, but... [17:58] Maeda     I did indeed. [17:59] Hanako     What do we do now? [18:00] Kasumi     Th-The cops! [18:02] Olivia     The cops? [18:03] Olivia     We touched him all over. [18:04] Olivia     Are we safe? [18:06] Hanako     Is it a crime to mess up a crime scene? [18:09] Kasumi     But it was so sudden... [18:11] Kasumi     Wait, did you two notice when you came here? [18:13] Olivia     Not at all. [18:14] Olivia     I only saw the vice president. [18:15] Hanako     Where did it come from? [18:18] Olivia     I think I know. [18:22] Olivia     Wasn't there a shounen manga where they     buried a corpse in the school walls? [18:28] Kindaichi     In the name of my grandpa! [18:30] Olivia     Isn't that it? [18:31] Hanako     I remember that! [18:32] Hanako     It was super scary! [18:33] Olivia     It was, right? [18:34] Olivia     It was super scary! [18:35] Kasumi     The earlier chapters were so scary. [18:38] VP     That's such a BS theory. [18:40] Kasumi     So let's just say this     came out of the walls. [18:43] Hanako     Yeah, that's probably definitely     not it, but whatever. [18:47] VP     That's it? [18:48] VP     Have these girls shut their brains off?! [18:50] Kasumi     So then... [18:52] Kasumi     The vice president was right     here... Where is she? [18:55] Kasumi     Staaaare... [18:56] VP     Do I have to solve it again? [19:00] Olivia     She's around here somewhere, maybe? [19:01] Kasumi     I see. [19:02] Hanako     Okay, let's find the vice president, then. [19:04] Olivia     Okay. [19:05] Kasumi     Yes. [19:05] VP     Please, God, protect me     from these dumbasses! [19:08] VP     Oh, that's... [19:10] VP     the president's face mask! [19:13] VP     Thank you, President! SIGN    Gyark! [19:20] Hanako     What's wrong, Kasumi-san? [19:21] Olivia     Did you find the vice president? [19:23] Kasumi     Mask! [19:23] Kasumi     Mask! [19:24] Kasumi     M-Mask! [19:26] VP     You got me! [19:27] VP     Am I, like, MK5 right now? SIGN    MK5     (5 seconds before I seriously end up in the slammer) [19:32] Hanako     What language is that? [19:33] Olivia     Why are your eyes different sizes? [19:36] VP     She asked that so honestly,     it actually stung the most. [19:39] Hanako     Guys, that must be the murderer. [19:41] Hanako     Let's catch her ourselves. [19:43] Hanako     The vice president probably     isn't alive anymore. [19:46] Hanako     I'll go from the front. [19:47] Hanako     Olivia, you take right. [19:48] Hanako     Kasumi-san, left. [19:49] Olivia     Okay. [19:50] Kasumi     Got it. [19:51] Hanako     All right. [19:53] Hanako     Charge! [19:55] Hanako     Why are we all going from the front?! [19:57] Kasumi     I got nervous and made a mistake! [19:58] Olivia     I wasn't paying attention to you, Hanako. [20:00] Hanako     You weren't paying attention?! [20:01] Olivia     Get her! [20:04] Kasumi     I'm sorry. [20:10] Hanako     Stop panting over there, damn it! [20:14] Oniichan     Raw middle-schoolers embracing... [20:16] Oniichan     What a sight. [20:17] Oniichan     Thank my lucky stars. [20:20] VP     President, help me! [20:23] President     Yes? What is it? [20:25] President     I could hear you from the hallway. [20:31] President     Hell on Earth. [20:33] President     What are you doing? [20:35] President     Is this a new harassment tactic, Pastimers? [20:37] Hanako     No, we're the victims here. [20:39] Olivia     It took all our courage     to catch this murderer. SIGN    She can kind of guess what happened [20:46] President     Pastimers Club, please let go of her. [20:51] President     And I'll allow the movie. [20:54] President     Please keep what happened a secret. [20:59] Hanako     Okay! [21:00] President     Also, never come back. [21:01] Hanako     Roger that! [21:02] Hanako     Yay! [21:03] Kasumi     Yay for us! [21:04] Hanako     You just have to keep trying! [21:09] President     What just touched me? [21:13] President     Do I have to deal with this? [21:17] VP     U-Um... [21:19] VP     President... [21:20] President     Stay calm. [21:21] President     Where should we bury it? [21:23] President     Is there a lake nearby? [21:25] VP     No, he's alive. [21:27] VP     Stuff happened. [21:29] President     Oh, I see. [21:31] President     Well, in that case... [21:38] VP     Are you up? [21:39] Guy A     Huh? I... [21:40] VP     Jeez, you just randomly collapsed. [21:42] VP     I got so worried. [21:44] Guy A     Randomly? [21:44] Guy A     I feel like I just got kneed in the gut. [21:47] VP     You hit your gut against the     table when you collapsed. [21:50] Guy A     And that monster? [21:52] VP     What are you talking about? [21:53] VP     There's no such thing. [21:55] Guy A     No, it had the same hairstyle you did,     but it had the face of a monster. [21:58] Guy A     Such an abomination can't be     allowed to exist in our world. [22:03] VP     I told you to make something up! [22:05] N     It took a while before he escaped the loop. SIGN    Asobi Asobase 12 - Daniel | Bra Meeting | Fairy Tale Battle Royale | Paper Wars Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    Daniel [01:33] Sensei     Ta-da. [01:34] Sensei     Look, isn't he adorable? [01:37] Hanako     Sensei, when did you have a baby? [01:40] Kasumi     C-Congratulations. [01:41] Sensei     No, no. [01:42] Sensei     This is my friend's baby. [01:45] Sensei     I actually used to go to     this school, you know. [01:47] Hanako     Really? I never knew. [01:48] Olivia     Were the uniforms the same back in your day? [01:51] Sensei     They were. [01:52] Sensei     So my friend was in the pro wrestling     circle, and she came to say hi, [01:57] Sensei     so I'm taking care of her     baby in the meantime. [02:00] Hanako     She should have brought him. [02:01] Hanako     Wouldn't the current members appreciate it? [02:03] Sensei     She said it might be too     stimulating for the baby. [02:06] Hanako     Hey, Sensei, I want to try holding him. [02:09] Sensei     Are you used to taking     care of babies, Honda-san? [02:11] Hanako     I used to hold my brother. [02:14] Sensei     Really? Okay. [02:18] Hanako     He smells so good! [02:20] Hanako     The aroma of a mother's milk and pee, oh my! [02:25] Hanako     I feel like I'm going to get high. [02:27] Olivia     Are you sure there isn't     a better way to say that? [02:29] Hanako     What's the problem? The baby's happy, too. [02:32] PA     Higuchi-sensei, please come to     the staff office immediately. [02:35] Sensei     Oh, dear, what should I do? [02:37] Hanako     We'll watch the baby. You go ahead. [02:40] Sensei     But... [02:40] Olivia     Hanako does seem used to it. [02:42] Sensei     I'm a bit worried, though. [02:45] Sensei     I guess I could take him to my friend     before I go to the staff office. [02:48] Hanako     He doesn't like it, Sensei. [02:50] Sensei     You're right. [02:52] Sensei     I'll be right back. Please take care of him. [02:55] Hanako     Sure. [03:00] Hanako     Why is he crying all of a sudden?! [03:02] Olivia     I don't know. He was happy     until just a moment ago. [03:05] Hanako     He's grabbing Kasumi-san's necktie! [03:06] Hanako     He wants you to hold him! [03:09] Kasumi     O-Okay, over here. [03:13] Hanako     He stopped crying. [03:14] Hanako     You like Kasumi? What an old geezer. [03:19] Hanako     He's squeezing your boobs! [03:21] Kasumi     Well, he's a baby. [03:22] Kasumi     S-Sorry, I don't have any     plans for producing milk yet. [03:31] Kasumi     This kid's pretending to want     milk, but look at his face, [03:33] Kasumi     he totally just wants to     play with your boobies! [03:36] Kasumi     You pervy brat! [03:37] Kasumi     Disgusting! [03:38] Olivia     A baby's not going to be thinking like that. [03:40] Hanako     No, this one is! [03:41] Kasumi     Okay, why don't you try holding him, then? [03:46] Hanako     He smells so good! [03:48] Baby     Flat. [03:50] Hanako     He talked! [03:51] Hanako     And I feel like he just insulted me! [03:53] Olivia     No way, he couldn't have. [03:55] Kasumi     He's a baby. [03:57] Olivia     Hey, I want to hold him, too. [03:59] ---     Here. [04:04] Olivia     He's so cute! [04:05] Olivia     So pudgy! [04:08] Baby     Spicy! [04:09] Kasumi     What?! [04:10] Hanako     He definitely spoke just now! [04:12] Hanako     Those were vicious words, too! [04:14] Olivia     W-Well, I mean, he's a baby. [04:17] Olivia     Here. [04:17] Hanako     That's not reassuring     when you say it shaking. [04:19] Kasumi     Why don't we put him down somewhere? [04:22] Hanako     Yeah, I have a bad feeling     about holding him for too long. [04:29] Hanako     He's like... [04:31] Hanako     He seems kind of cocky, don't you think? [04:33] Kasumi     Maybe he's not holding his head up. [04:35] Hanako     Is it safe to put him on a chair     when his head's not being held up? [04:40] Hanako     There's something menacing about him. [04:42] Kasumi     Maybe he wants something to suckle on. [04:45] Olivia     Oh yeah, there was a bag full     of baby stuff on Sensei's desk. [04:49] Olivia     I wonder if she has something. [04:52] Olivia     Pacifier! [04:54] Kasumi     Why don't you give that to the baby? [04:58] Olivia     Here you go. [04:59] Olivia     He's so cute! [05:01] Kasumi     He's really just a baby. [05:08] Hanako     Dude, this kid's a mafia don! [05:10] Hanako     This kid's weird! [05:12] Hanako     Do you think he might have     memories from his past life? [05:14] Kasumi     N-No way. [05:15] Kasumi     He's a baby, after all. [05:16] Hanako     I'm sick of hearing that! [05:19] Kasumi     I think he's hot. [05:21] Olivia     Oh, yeah. [05:23] Olivia     Ta-da. [05:23] Olivia     Mini fan. [05:25] Olivia     I snuck it in from home. [05:27] Kasumi     Let's turn it on and cool him off. [05:32] Olivia     How's that? Nice and cool? [05:34] Olivia     He's liking it. [05:36] Hanako     Hey, what else is in this bag? [05:40] Olivia     Wait, I want to see. [05:41] Hanako     Huh? What's this white powder? [05:44] Olivia     Cold medicine or something, maybe? [05:46] Hanako     Are babies supposed to take     antibiotics and stuff? [05:49] Hanako     It says something on it. [05:51] Hanako     You there, baby, what are you doing?! [05:56] Hanako     It's pulling me in! [05:58] Olivia     Wait, Hanako-san, don't go that way! [06:00] Hanako     Kasumi-san, the switch! [06:01] Hanako     Press the stop button! [06:03] Kasumi     O-Okay! [06:04] Kasumi     Um, the baby's playing on top of     the switch with a giant smile. [06:07] Hanako     Just move that creature out of the way! [06:11] Hanako     Help me! [06:12] Hanako     Hanako! [06:19] Hanako     He's legit trying to kill me! [06:21] Kasumi     Stay back, it's dangerous. [06:23] Hanako     Press the stop button before     you hold that damn flesh blob! [06:27] Kasumi     H-Hold on, my hands are full. [06:30] Hanako     Are you mental?! [06:37] Hanako     It's over... [06:43] Hanako     I'm safe? [06:44] Hanako     Kasumi's leg! [06:48] Olivia     You tugged on the cable. [06:50] Kasumi     Oh, you're right. [06:51] Hanako     You could have done that sooner. [06:53] Sensei     Sorry, guys, was everything okay? [06:57] Sensei     Oh, good, he's happy. [06:59] Mom     Sorry for the trouble, everyone. [07:02] Hanako     It's fine. [07:04] Hanako     Hm? You like the ladies? [07:06] Hanako     He doesn't usually like anyone besides me. [07:09] Kasumi     Oh, really? [07:11] Hanako     I'm absolutely honored. [07:12] Olivia     Yay, I'm so happy. [07:14] Baby     Oh [07:16] Baby     yay. [07:17] Baby     Oh [07:18] Baby     boy. [07:20] Baby     I [07:20] Baby     found [07:21] Baby     my [07:22] Baby     self [07:24] Baby     a [07:25] Baby     brand [07:26] Baby     new [07:28] Baby     toy. [07:29] Mom     Look at him giggle. [07:31] Mom     He's so happy. [07:32] Hanako     Is it just me, or was he saying something? SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Bra Meeting [07:41] Olivia     It was so hot. [07:44] Hanako     Why do we need to get hit     by freak weather on PE day? [07:48] Olivia     I know, it's so sweaty and gross. [07:51] Hanako     My sports bra is all sticky, too. [07:53] Olivia     Take it off. [07:54] Hanako     Are you serious? [07:55] Hanako     They'll sag if I do. [07:57] Olivia     They aren't big enough to sag. Don't worry. [07:59] Hanako     How would you kn— [08:09] Hanako     Kasumi-shan... [08:10] Kasumi     What is it? [08:11] Hanako     Y-Your bra-sama is f-f-fantastic. [08:18] Kasumi     Th-Th-This was the only style     I could find in my size. [08:23] Hanako     "This was the only style     I could find in my size"? [08:31] Hanako     Say what? [08:32] Olivia     Here we go again. [08:33] Hanako     That's the kind of excuse boys     make when they say their moms [08:37] Hanako     would only buy them certain trunks. [08:40] Kasumi     Huh? What kind of analogy is that? [08:42] Kasumi     I don't get it at all. [08:44] Kasumi     I should get changed fast. [08:46] Kasumi     I swear, it's true! [08:48] Kasumi     I'd want to choose from more     designs if I could, too! [08:51] Hanako     You'd never know what it feels     like to be a have-not, Kasumi-san. [08:57] Kasumi     N-No, well... [08:58] Kasumi     I always wonder how much fun it would be [09:02] Kasumi     to choose from lots of different     designs like you can, Hanako-san. [09:06] Kasumi     There are more cute designs for smaller bras. [09:12] Hanako     Tell me more! [09:14] Olivia     Put your clothes on, Hanako. [09:15] N     And then what happened? SIGN    Pastimers Club [09:17] Hanako     I've only ever worn sports bras until now. [09:20] Hanako     It's finally time to make my real bra debut! [09:24] Hanako     So what kind of bra are you wearing, Olivia? [09:26] Olivia     Want to see? [09:28] Olivia     You climb the stairs to adulthood... [09:31] Olivia     ...but... [09:32] Olivia     ...you're still a Cinderella. [09:33] Kasumi     Uh... [09:34] Kasumi     Okay, here's a bra website, then. [09:36] Hanako     Sure, I shall take a look. SIGN    New SIGN    Cleavage - Wire Free Premium [09:40] Hanako     There's more to them than     a lot of outfits, right? [09:43] Olivia     I know. [09:44] Olivia     Lace is so delicate. [09:45] Olivia     Some of them even have shape memory. [09:47] Hanako     It's the future. [09:48] Hanako     This one's cute! [09:49] Hanako     Can I click on it? [09:50] Kasumi     Wait, before that, you should     probably measure your bust size. [09:55] Hanako     I always buy small sports bras. [09:57] Kasumi     Bras are more specific. [09:59] Kasumi     You need to measure in centimeters. [10:01] Hanako     I secretly measured at night,     and it was 74 centimeters. [10:05] Hanako     I'll click A 75. [10:07] Kasumi     Wait, wait. [10:08] Kasumi     Which 74 centimeters is that 74 centimeters? [10:11] Hanako     My breasts. [10:14] Kasumi     Oh, we need to measure your band size. [10:16] ---     What do you mean "band size"? [10:17] Hanako     The A 75 means 75 centimeters band. [10:23] Kasumi     It looks something like this. SIGN    Bust                         Band [10:25] Kasumi     The ratio between the top and     under determines your cup size. [10:28] Hanako     Is that math? [10:28] Kasumi     It's not math. [10:29] Hanako     Wait, that's so complicated. [10:31] Kasumi     No, it's fine. [10:32] Kasumi     It's easy if you measure it out. [10:35] Kasumi     I'm going to measure from over your bra. [10:37] Hanako     Huh? [10:38] ---     Come to think of it... [10:40] Person A     I have a marshmallow body measuring     bust 85, waist 60, hip 88. [10:45] (Flashback) Maeda     Bust 85... [10:47] (Flashback) Maeda     That's a C cup. [10:48] (Flashback) Hanako     How do you know that? [10:50] (Flashback) Maeda     An 85 is about this big. [10:52] (Flashback) Maeda     The left hand just sits there. [10:54] (Flashback) Hanako     Could you please stop with the hand motions?! [10:56] (Flashback) Maeda     It's an assessment based     on a big data dataset. [10:58] (Flashback) Maeda     An 85 is a C. [11:00] (Flashback) Hanako     I-I see. [11:02] (Flashback) Hanako     Then what about a bust 96? [11:04] (Flashback) Grandpa     Bust 96, you say? [11:06] (Flashback) Hanako     Please don't come joining in, Grandpa. [11:09] (Flashback) Grandpa     Bust 96 should be... [11:11] (Flashback) Grandpa     Something like this, which makes it an F cup. [11:14] (Flashback) Hanako     Seriously, stop it with the hands! [11:16] (Flashback) Grandpa     Jackie was making the same     motions in Shaolin Wooden Men. [11:20] (Flashback) Hanako     No he wasn't! [11:20] (Flashback) Hanako     I never saw that! [11:22] Hanako     Wait, so what was that? [11:26] Kasumi     Hey, I'm done measuring. [11:28] Hanako     How was it? [11:29] Kasumi     Let's see, you have a band     size of 68 and a bust of 75. [11:35] Hanako     Bust 75?! [11:37] Hanako     I grew a centimeter! [11:39] Olivia     Congrats! [11:40] Hanako     Does that mean I have a B cup? [11:42] Hanako     Am I climbing the B ladder? [11:44] Kasumi     Let's see... [11:45] Kasumi     Oh, you're an AA cup. [11:50] Kasumi     Wait, maybe I'm an AA     between an A and B, right? [11:54] Kasumi     Yay! [11:55] Kasumi     Uh, I have to go to the bathroom. [11:57] Olivia     Don't run away, Kasumi. [11:59] Olivia     You have to tell her the truth. [12:03] Kasumi     It's smaller than an A. [12:06] Hanako     I had a feeling. [12:09] Hanako     Why? [12:10] Hanako     Did I do something wrong? [12:13] Kasumi     You did nothing wrong. [12:14] Hanako     Why then has God reduced my size so?! [12:18] Olivia     Hanako... [12:19] Hanako     Olivia... [12:20] Olivia     Maybe you were imagining things     when you thought you were an A. [12:24] Olivia     Like one of those people     who thinks they're a wizard [12:26] Olivia     because they're receiving some     kind of signal from the sky. [12:29] Kasumi     Hanako-san! [12:31] Hanako     Let me go! [12:32] Hanako     I'm going to enroll at the boys' school! [12:34] Kasumi     Calm down! [12:37] Hanako     Give me your flesh! [12:38] Kasumi     Hanako?! [12:40] Kasumi     All right, here goes the suction! [12:42] Kasumi     Liposuction of the breasts! [12:44] Olivia     Hanako's broken! [12:52] Olivia     Wh-What's wrong? [12:55] Hanako     I choked... [12:56] Hanako     Stuff came out. [12:57] Olivia     What stuff? [12:58] Hanako     I think I've angered the boob gods. [13:02] Hanako     I'm sorry, please don't take     any more boob away from me. [13:08] Kasumi     Hanako-san, it's okay. [13:10] Kasumi     On behalf of the boob gods, I forgive you. [13:15] Hanako     I... [13:16] Hanako     I... [13:17] Hanako     I ask for the graces of the boob gods. [13:21] Olivia     I don't know how they're managing     to hold a conversation, [13:23] Olivia     but what's this "boob god"     that came out of nowhere? SIGN    Asobi Asobase [13:27] [SONG] Text     Fairy Tale Battle Royale [13:33] Olivia     Damn it! [13:34] Olivia     Take this, damn it! [13:36] Hanako     What're you doing, Olivia? [13:37] Olivia     This game that was developed in my     country is popular in Japan right now. [13:41] Hanako     It must be a weird one, then. [13:42] Olivia     Ouch, but it's so cute. SIGN    Let's play together! SIGN    Fairy Tale Hell SIGN    Fairy Tale Hell. [13:48] Hanako     What the? It's so cute! [13:50] Kasumi     Oh, yeah. [13:51] Kasumi     It looks fun. [13:52] Olivia     Let's play it together, then. [13:54] Olivia     I've been playing solo all this time, and     I've been waiting to play team games. [13:58] Hanako     Yay! [13:59] Olivia     You can download it from the Pineapple Store. [14:01] Hanako     Right. [14:02] Hanako     The Pineapple store. Sure. [14:03] Kasumi     Uh... [14:04] Kasumi     I have an old school phone. [14:06] Olivia     You can play on PC, too. [14:07] Olivia     You should play on your laptop. [14:09] Hanako     All right, I downloaded it. [14:11] Hanako     Let's start! [14:12] Thing     Welcome to Fairy Tale Hell! [14:14] Thing     Select a character. SIGN    Name: Kitty-chan SIGN    Abilities: Good with hands SIGN    Character Select SIGN    Select SIGN    I'm good with my hands SIGN    Name: Doggo-chan SIGN    Abilities: Fast runner SIGN    I'm a fast runner SIGN    Name: Bunny-chan SIGN    Abilities: Good jumper SIGN    I'm a good jumper SIGN    Name: Froggy-san SIGN    Abilities: Good vision SIGN    I have good vision SIGN    Abilities: Strong SIGN    Name: Teddy-chan SIGN    I'm strong SIGN    Name: Fox-chan SIGN    Abilities: Awful personality SIGN    I have an awful personality [14:26] Hanako     Who are you playing, Olivia? [14:27] Olivia     I'm Bunny-chan. [14:28] Hanako     I'll play Kitty-chan, then. [14:30] Kasumi     I'll play Doggo-chan. SIGN    Oden | Lollipop | Flowers | Drink Crayon | Cake | Donuts | Candy [14:31] Voice     Choose an item. [14:33] Hanako     They're all so cute. [14:34] Hanako     What should I choose? [14:35] Kasumi     Why are they all sideways? [14:37] Olivia     Oden's useful. [14:38] Kasumi     Is it? [14:40] Kasumi     I'll go with that, then. [14:41] Hanako     I'll take a lollipop. [14:42] Olivia     Lollipops are good for beginners. [14:45] Voice     Choose a name for your team. [14:46] Hanako     A team name? [14:48] Olivia     We might as well call it Pastimers Club. [14:50] Kasumi     Okay, let's go with Pastimers Club. [14:52] Voice     Your team name is Pastimers Club. [14:55] Voice     Is this right? [14:56] Hanako     This'll be fun! [14:58] Olivia     Hey, we already got someone. [14:59] Hanako     Got what? [15:00] Olivia     Team HISHA wants to play with us. [15:03] Hanako     You can play with other teams? [15:05] Olivia     Sure you can. [15:06] Olivia     That's the main part of the game, actually. [15:08] Hanako     Okay, let's accept, then. [15:09] Olivia     Okay. [15:10] Voice     Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,     four, three, two, one, start! [15:12] Olivia     The countdown's starting. [15:13] Olivia     Are you ready, guys? [15:14] Hanako     Okay. [15:15] Olivia     I forgot to teach you the rules. [15:17] Olivia     Oh, well, it's simple. [15:18] Olivia     You can learn as you go. [15:19] Kasumi     Got it. SIGN    Start! [15:22] Hanako     Kasumi-san, where are you? [15:24] Kasumi     Over here. [15:25] Hanako     Where's Olivia? [15:26] Olivia     Here. [15:27] Olivia     Here. [15:28] Hanako     Why are you hiding there? [15:30] Kasumi     I know. [15:31] Kasumi     Let's go explore Fairy Land. [15:33] Olivia     No, no. [15:33] Olivia     You have to hide. [15:35] Hanako     Come on, are you being squeamish     just because you're playing a bunny? [15:37] Olivia     Stop it! [15:38] Olivia     You need to hide, too, Hanako! [15:45] Olivia     You're dead already. [15:47] Hanako     Wait! [15:48] Hanako     What's up with this game?! [15:49] Olivia     Hurry up, you have to get treatment. [15:51] Hanako     Why am I twitching? [15:52] Olivia     You'll die if you don't eat     your lollipop within a minute. SIGN    Inventory [15:55] Olivia     You forgot to buy it. [15:57] Olivia     You only have poo. [15:58] Hanako     Somebody help me! [16:00] Olivia     Bah, your character's screwed. [16:02] Olivia     Well, you're dead. [16:06] Olivia     Come on, Kasumi, you have to hide, too. [16:09] Hanako     No way! [16:10] Hanako     This game's too distasteful! [16:14] Olivia     Kasumi! [16:15] ---     I'm scared! [16:16] Olivia     Don't run out in the open like that! [16:19] Kasumi     I have no clue... SIGN    Yay! SIGN    Critical hit! SIGN    You got to die without suffering! [16:31] Olivia     I'm the only one left. [16:33] Olivia     All three of them on the enemy     team are probably alive. [16:36] Olivia     I think they shot at us from this way. [16:40] Olivia     I knew it, they're after me! SIGN    The first player to make it to the "Hill of Hope" SIGN    gets the special weapon "Anthrax"! [16:48] Olivia     I got a quest. [16:50] Olivia     I don't know... [16:51] Olivia     Let's crawl through the flower fields. SIGN    You triggered a flower field landmine.     Watch out for flowers with different colors! [17:01] Olivia     I lost! [17:03] Olivia     The enemy team's so good. [17:06] Olivia     All right, let's go for round two! [17:09] Hanako     No, I'm good. [17:10] Kasumi     Me, too. [17:11] Olivia     Why? We're just getting started. [17:14] Hanako     I'm traumatized. [17:16] Kasumi     I'm going to have nightmares. [17:19] Olivia     Hey, I got a message. [17:21] Olivia     It's from the HISHA people we just played. [17:23] Olivia     "ez. git gud, noobs." [17:26] Olivia     I'll tell them, "It's our first day playing." [17:29] Olivia     It's best to just ignore these messages. [17:31] Olivia     More messages. [17:32] Olivia     "It's too much fun wrecking Fairy     Talers in over their heads." [17:36] Olivia     "That first cat was worse than a paramecium." [17:40] Olivia     HISHA says they want to play again. Weird. [17:43] Hanako     Bring it on! [17:44] Hanako     I know how the game works, now. [17:46] Hanako     I'll tear them to shreds! [17:47] Olivia     Okay, buy lots of lollipops. [17:50] Olivia     Donuts work as shields, so let's buy three. [17:51] Hanako     But donuts have holes in the     middle... Is that safe?! [17:53] Olivia     All right! SIGN    Three, two, one, start! SIGN    Start! [17:56] Olivia     Here we go! [17:59] Olivia     Wait, Hanako, what are you shooting at? [18:01] Hanako     Wait, wait, I don't know the controls! [18:03] Hanako     I can't stop! [18:04] Olivia     You aren't hitting anyone! [18:06] Hanako     Wait, I stopped. [18:07] Hanako     Am I out of ammo? [18:10] Hanako     I got hit first again! [18:12] Kasumi     Hold on, I'll do something with the candy! [18:14] Olivia     Kasumi, use your scope to find the enemy. [18:16] Kasumi     H-How? [18:17] Olivia     That chikuwa fish cake is your scope. [18:19] Kasumi     Oh, I see. [18:20] Kasumi     I think I saw them from over there. [18:22] Olivia     Oh yeah, there's something there. [18:24] Kasumi     But it's so small, I don't know what's what. [18:26] Olivia     You can zoom in with your mouse wheel. [18:28] Kasumi     Got it. [18:29] Kasumi     Zoom... [18:31] Kasumi     Gross! [18:32] Olivia     They've totally ditched     short range for long range, [18:34] Olivia     and they have a really good sniper     with the pervy Froggy-san! [18:38] Girl A     They had the name Pastimers     Club, so I thought maybe... [18:42] Girl B     I guess it really was the Pastimers Club. [18:44] Girl A     They're so bad, too. [18:46] Girl A     The president's fingers, though... [18:48] Girl B     She's always impressive to see. [18:51] President     It's been a long time since I've     lost my ability to play shogi. [18:55] President     Enomoto, will I ever hold     a shogi piece again? [19:02] Girl A     Please... [19:03] Girl A     You'll get better.     I believe in you, President. [19:05] President     This is all the Pastimers Club's fault. [19:10] President     Revenge shall be mine. [19:15] President     Time to checkmate and take     their King in this world, too. [19:20] Girl A     Yes, President! [19:22] Olivia     I lost again! [19:24] Olivia     Their team is too good. [19:26] Olivia     What to do? [19:27] Olivia     HISHA wants to play again. [19:29] Olivia     Want to play a third game? [19:29] Hanako     I already deleted the app. [19:31] Hanako     I'm good. [19:31] Kasumi     Me, too. SIGN    Asobi Asobase SIGN    Paper Wars SIGN    Paper Wars SIGN    Rules Choose your territories on a large sheet of paper. Draw a princess in the center of each territory, and surround her with weapons (anything goes). If you convince your opponent that they don't stand a chance, you win! [19:43] Maeda     Hanako-sama, I came only     to deliver an umbrella. [19:47] Maeda     Is it acceptable that I've joined? [19:49] Hanako     I wanted another player anyway. [19:51] Hanako     Okay, then. [19:53] Hanako     Let's start the game! [19:57] Olivia     What's this? [19:58] Hanako     It's a cannon! [19:59] Olivia     Okay, next. [20:02] Hanako     What's this? [20:04] Olivia     A shield to protect me against the cannon. [20:06] Olivia     It can protect against anything. [20:08] Hanako     I see. [20:09] Hanako     You're starting strong. [20:11] Maeda     Okay, I'm next. [20:14] Hanako     What's that creepy shit?! [20:15] Maeda     Th-This is the most powerful monster. [20:18] Maeda     It can triple the cannon's output. [20:20] Maeda     It can destroy about half of     Olivia's shield. Probably. [20:24] Kasumi     I'm next. [20:27] Kasumi     I-It's a knight. [20:29] Hanako     You're so good at drawing. [20:31] Hanako     Next... [20:34] Olivia     What's this? [20:36] Hanako     I played it already. [20:38] Hanako     Maybe it was too soon. [20:40] Hanako     The strongest creature in the world... [20:41] Hanako     Mister Man! [20:42] Olivia     H-How is he the strongest? [20:45] Hanako     Um... [20:48] Hanako     He's super strong! [20:49] Hanako     He can... petrify? With his eyes. [20:53] Hanako     And so he's going to petrify your knight! [20:57] Kasumi     Aw... [20:58] Olivia     All right. [21:01] Hanako     What's this? [21:02] Olivia     A wizard. [21:04] Olivia     He can deflect curses and stuff. [21:05] Olivia     And now Mister Man's petrified! [21:09] Kasumi     My most powerful Mister Man's defeated! [21:11] Maeda     Allow me, Hanako-sama. [21:17] Hanako     Seriously, what is that parasite thing?! [21:20] Maeda     But this is the most powerful... [21:22] Maeda     Like... [21:23] Maeda     It's the best at everything. [21:25] Maeda     It's performing the Mister     Man recovery ritual. [21:27] Hanako     Yay, Mister Man is back! [21:33] Hanako     What's this? [21:34] Kasumi     A speech. [21:35] Kasumi     He can appease the enemy     and bring him over to my side. [21:41] Kasumi     What's this? [21:42] Hanako     Tissue paper handouts, but     with earplugs instead! [21:44] Hanako     The speech is disabled by the earplugs! [21:47] Kasumi     Give us something good, Olivia-san. [21:50] Olivia     Yeah. [21:52] Hanako     Is that a dinosaur with wings? [21:54] Olivia     It's a dragon! [21:55] Olivia     A dragon! [21:55] Olivia     It defeats the enemy in a single blow. [21:58] Hanako     Damn it! [21:59] Maeda     Allow me, Hanako-sama. [22:02] Hanako     Is that the only thing you can draw?! [22:04] Maeda     It's the most powerful monster... [22:05] Hanako     You already said that! [22:07] Olivia     How do we make this end?