7 - Keep the Secret a Secret

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Episode 7
     "Keep the Secret a Secret"
[01:21] Bellnoa
    This says this superhuman can
    achieve a power level of 10,000,000!
[01:24] Nona
    This says my attack level is 530,000!
[01:26] Haruto
    What? You're already nearby?
[01:28] Haruto
    You could have warned me, Kanmuri Seijirou!
[01:31] Haruto
    Nona, Bellnoa! Stop looking
    at the manga and hide!
[01:34] Seijirou
    Hey.
[01:39] Haruto
    K-Kanmuri!
[01:40] Haruto
    How did you...
[01:43] Kanmuri
    How, you ask?
[01:49] Kusabi
    Like this! That's how!
[01:51] Haruto
    I-It can't be.
[01:52] Haruto
    The third moving figurine, Kusabi-chan,
    belongs to you, Kanmuri?
[01:57] Seijirou
    Bouida.
[01:58] Seijirou
    We live in a country that's top class
    in its otaku culture and hobbies,
[02:02] Seijirou
    where we can enjoy ourselves to the fullest.
[02:04] Seijirou
    We might even be happier
    than any civilization or culture
[02:08] Seijirou
    to have lived on this Earth.
[02:11] Haruto
    You might be right.
[02:13] Seijirou
    It's time to pay it forward!
[02:15] Seijirou
    To leave this place even more wonderful
    for future generations of otaku
[02:18] Seijirou
    we must unravel the mystery
    of the moving figurines!
[02:21] Seijirou
    Don't you agree?
[02:23] Haruto
    I have never been prouder than I am
    today to call a man like you my friend!
[02:28] Seijirou
    Bouida! Then you will...
[02:29] Haruto
    Though I won't be helping you! You can do it!
[02:32] Seijirou
    You bastard!
[02:34] Seijirou
    As I thought, it's on the move...
[02:37] Seijirou
    I've brought you a little present, Bouida.
[02:39] Seijirou
    Whether you help me or not,
    the experiment has already begun.
[02:44] Seijirou
    This mysterious phenomenon
    where figurines of beautiful girls
[02:46] Seijirou
    begin to move on their own...
[02:48] Seijirou
    Super Mobile Girls!
[02:50] Seijirou
    That is what I have decided to call them!
[02:53] Haruto
    You what? That's so embarrassing!
[02:55] Nona
    A fourth moving figurine.
[02:57] Ozma
    Data analysis complete!
[03:00] Ozma
    Her name is Amanohara Subaru.
[03:02] Ozma
    She's a character from Striking Fist 3,
    a one-on-one fighting game.
[03:06] Bellnoa
    Fighting...
[03:08] Bellnoa
    Is she strong?
[03:09] Ozma
    Yeah. Apparently, she was super strong.
[03:11] Ozma
    Because her performance
    stats were so overpowered,
[03:14] Ozma
    there were some places that banned her use.
[03:16] Bellnoa
    Hey! Apparently, you're really strong!
[03:18] Nona
    Bellnoa's so fast!
[03:20] Subaru
    Could this be... a competition?
[03:23] Bellnoa
    That's right. A competition.
[03:24] Bellnoa
    You look like a martial arts type.
[03:26] Bellnoa
    I'll do this without my sword or magic!
[03:29] Nona
    Wait, Bellnoa! You're moving too fast!
[03:31] Bellnoa
    Fear not. We're fighting so that
    we can better understand each other.
[03:35] Bellnoa
    That's the how the power of friendship begins!
[03:38] Ozma
    And there it is!
[03:39] Ozma
    The influence of the manga
    she was just reading!
[03:41] Bellnoa
    Let's go!
[03:42] Bellnoa
    Leg Laria—
[03:47] Nona
    Huh? What's happening...
[03:48] Haruto
    Ate-mi-Nage!
[03:49] Haruto
    She redirects her opponent's attack
    and uses it to throw them.
[03:52] Haruto
    It's one of Subaru's signature moves!
[03:53] Bellnoa
    Not bad. Now, it's my turn!
[03:57] Nona
    What's that?
[03:58] Haruto
    An Average Punch!
[03:59] Bellnoa
    You...
[04:00] Bellnoa
    Ow!
[04:01] Kusabi
    And that?
[04:02] Haruto
    An Average Kick!
[04:03] Nona
    Those punches and kicks don't
    seem very powerful, so why...
[04:06] Ozma
    Well...
[04:06] Haruto
    It's because she's strong on the zones!
[04:09] Haruto
    In fighting games, the moves
    of each of the characters
SIGN    Attack Zone
SIGN    Vulnerable Zone
[04:11] Haruto
    have attack zones and vulnerable zones, but...
[04:13] Haruto
    Subaru's attack zone is
    much bigger than it looks.
[04:16] Haruto
    And, for some reason, her hands
    and fingers have no vulnerable zone.
[04:19] Haruto
    All of which is why she can completely
    evade her opponent's attacks!
[04:22] Nona
    I see!
[04:24] Bellnoa
    I won't hold back anymore!
[04:26] Bellnoa
    Take this!
[04:27] Haruto
    That's enough, Bellnoa!
[04:30] Haruto
    If you fight with the combined power
    of your sword and magic, as a hero,
[04:32] Haruto
    there is no one who can beat you!
[04:35] Haruto
    It won't be a competition anymore.
[04:37] Bellnoa
    Y-You're right, Haruto. Sorry.
[04:40] Kusabi
    Oh, and there goes Haruto!
[04:42] Kusabi
    He may not know a girl's heart, but
    he's good at appealing to a hero's heart!
[04:46] Haruto
    A new moving figurine.
[04:47] Haruto
    Amanohara Subaru. Seriously?
[04:49] Seijirou
    What do you think, Bouida?
    Has it served to rouse your curiosity?
[04:54] Haruto
    Oh, that's right. You were here.
[04:55] Seijirou
    Yes, I was!
[04:56] Seijirou
    And I'm not the type that can just jump in
[04:58] Seijirou
    when everyone is saying, "Wow!"
    and having a good time!
[05:00] Seijirou
    That aside, what do you think?
     Don't you want to see what comes next?
[05:04] Seijirou
    If you'll help, I'm sure we can unravel
    the mystery of the Super Mobile Girls.
[05:10] Haruto
    Kanmuri.
[05:11] Haruto
    There's only one thing
    I can say to you right now.
[05:14] Haruto
    I wanted this figurine, but they
    didn't make many, so I gave up.
[05:19] Haruto
    Are you really giving it to me?
[05:20] Seijirou
    I never said I'd give her to you!
[05:22] Nona
    You wanted her?
[05:23] Haruto
    Gulp!
[05:24] Nona
    Haruto-san, you weren't planning
    to cheat on me with her, too, right?
[05:27] Haruto
    U-Um...
[05:28] Bellnoa
    Hey. She's gone.
[05:30] Ozma
    You're right! When did that happen?
[05:32] Haruto
    Where is she? Come out, my Subaru-san!
[05:34] Nona
    Hey! What did you just say?
[05:36] Kusabi
    She's small, so if she hides,
    it'll be super hard to find her.
[05:39] Haruto
    Then it's time for Operation Tempt Her
    from the Celestial Cave.
[05:43] Haruto
    Amanohara Subaru is a master
    of ancient Japanese martial arts,
[05:45] Haruto
    but she's basically just a regular
    human high school girl.
[05:48] Haruto
    She must still be somewhere in this apartment.
[05:50] Ozma
    Even if she is, why are we
    playing a board game?
[05:53] Haruto
    If we look like we're having fun playing
    this game, I'm sure she'll come out.
[05:57] Haruto
    Why? Because Amanohara Subaru...
[05:59] Haruto
    is an otaku!
[06:01] Subaru
    He just said my name.
[06:03] Subaru
    Now that I think about it, what is
    this place? Who are those giants?
[06:07] Subaru
    If things were going to turn out this way,
[06:08] Subaru
    I should've immersed myself in my
    otaku hobbies instead of fighting.
[06:11] Subaru
    I could have read all the hidden treasures
    from the back of my bookshelf...
[06:14] Subaru
    If only I'd binge watched anime
    from first thing in the morning,
[06:16] Subaru
    spent the whole night playing
    through games over and over,
[06:18] Subaru
    and lived the wonderful
    life of the socially crippled!
[06:20] Kusabi
    Nona, aren't you going to play the game?
[06:22] Nona
    I am not.
[06:25] Subaru
    The steam! I'm getting all damp!
[06:29] Subaru
    Hey, stop it!
[06:30] Subaru
    What's with this machine? It's like a trap
    built to produce fan service scenes!
[06:33] Subaru
    In this situation, if I'd been wearing a skirt,
    a pantie-flash would have been inevitable!
[06:36] Subaru
    I'm sorry I'm wearing a hakama
[06:37] Subaru
    so the only fan service you'll get
    is the zone right above my knees!
[06:39] Subaru
    But I understand. I understand that
    burning feeling that comes from a glimpse!
[06:42] Subaru
    A glimpse of navel, the outline of a nipple,
[06:44] Subaru
    can be precursors to love
    that transcends gender!
[06:45] Subaru
    I understand! I do!
[06:47] Subaru
    I understand, so please turn it off!
[06:53] Subaru
    Thinking about it calmly,
[06:55] Subaru
    maybe it isn't that everything around me
    is big. Maybe it's that I'm small?
[06:59] Nona
    That's a very good guess.
[07:01] Nona
    You're right. It's that we're small.
    That much is correct.
[07:08] Nona
    What should I do?
[07:09] Nona
    Should I just tell her?
[07:11] Nona
    Tell her that she's just a moving
    1/6 scale figurine of a pretty girl,
[07:14] Nona
    that she's a fictional character?
[07:17] Subaru
    Um... Could it be that I'm a 1/6 scale figurine?
[07:21] Nona
    Yes. Though I'm sure
    it's difficult to believe.
[07:26] Nona
    What?!
[07:27] Subaru
    I thought so!
[07:29] Subaru
    This is just about the right size for that.
[07:31] Subaru
    And I feel like I was in that
    kind of box to start with.
[07:34] Subaru
    At the time, there was something crackly
    that had the feel of a blister pack...
[07:37] Subaru
    Then there's the faint smell of plasticizer
    and paint coming from my whole body.
[07:41] Subaru
    And the decisive evidence is...
[07:43] Subaru
    See? I knew it!
[07:45] Subaru
    Earlier when this flew up, I caught a glimpse.
[07:48] Nona
    What? What? Where...
[07:49] Subaru
    You're probably fine.
[07:51] Subaru
    They don't usually do that
    to the main body of a figurine.
[07:54] Subaru
    It's usually on the stand.
[07:55] Subaru
    Which means my hakama was made as a
    separate piece that's meant to be removable.
[08:00] Subaru
    That's so sexy.
[08:02] Subaru
    Now that I think about it, what kind of
    underwear am I supposed to be wearing?
[08:04] Subaru
    Since I'm a figurine, I hope they
    put effort into getting that right.
[08:07] Subaru
    The standard is white,
[08:08] Subaru
    but since I'm a fighter, maybe
    sporty types or something?
[08:10] Subaru
    Oh! And I can't rule out the
    possibility of gym shorts.
[08:13] Subaru
    In the spirit of discovering the
    truth, I shall take everything off!
[08:15] Subaru
    But that should really be done in private!
[08:18] Nona
    Uh... Um...
[08:19] Subaru
    Are you an android?
[08:21] Nona
    Well... Yes.
[08:22] Subaru
    That's awesome! So sexy! And seriously cool!
[08:24] Subaru
    How much of that can you take off?
[08:26] Subaru
    Showing mech-girls in any kind of
    indecent situation is super rare, but...
[08:29] Subaru
    could it be that you're set up to
    make that dream come true?
[08:32] Nona
    What? Um...
[08:33] Nona
    Stop it!
[08:36] Subaru
    I'd like to formally introduce myself to you.
[08:38] Subaru
    I am the inheritor of the Shinkuu
    Amanohara-style Jujitsu, Amanohara Subaru.
[08:44] Subaru
    That is the back story of my
    character in a fighting game...
[08:46] Subaru
    And I'm a 1/6 scale figurine of her... I think.
[08:50] Ozma
    It's amazing she realizes
    all that right from the start.
[08:52] Haruto
    There isn't much left to say!
[08:54] Haruto
    It makes everything easier!
[08:55] Haruto
    Um... I'm Bouida Haruto.
[08:57] Haruto
    I'm a big fan of yours, and of your game!
[09:00] Haruto
    Please feel free to relax and treat
    this place as if it was your home.
[09:03] Haruto
    We have tons of manga, games, and anime!
[09:06] Haruto
    I'll pick out some I'm sure you'll like!
[09:08] Ozma
    I've been wondering...
[09:10] Ozma
    All of us moving figurines seem
    to be made by Takasago-ya.
[09:14] Nona
    Takasago-ya?
[09:16] Ozma
    A minor model making company
[09:17] Ozma
    that's been creating one super
    niche figurine after another.
[09:23] Nona
    Subaru-san, you're amazing!
[09:24] Nona
    Or rather, what's this all of a sudden?
[09:26] Subaru
    This person is a fan of mine
    and of my game. Which means...
[09:31] Subaru
    He knows all of my character
    back story and stats
[09:34] Subaru
    including my super private secrets?
[09:36] Haruto
    It's true. I know everything.
[09:38] Haruto
    Starting with Subaru-san's
    individual character stats...
[09:41] Haruto
    Height, 154 cm. Weight, 46 kg.
[09:44] Haruto
    Sizes from the top, 78, 56, 82.
[09:48] Haruto
    And I know the depths of the otaku interests
    you never want anyone to find out about.
[09:52] Subaru
    I knew it!
[09:54] Subaru
    All of my full-on otaku
    interests exposed! In detail!
[09:57] Subaru
    And, of all things, to a man!
[09:59] Subaru
    I could die.
[10:00] Subaru
    My life meter has dropped
    way beyond zero! It's overkill!
[10:03] Subaru
    If God exists, he must be a super sadist!
[10:05] Nona
    Wha— What?
[10:06] Haruto
    Wait!
[10:09] Haruto
    Please read that.
[10:11] Haruto
    Don't let Nona or the others see it.
[10:14] Subaru
    What is it? A letter?
[10:17] Subaru
    What is this? Really? There's
    something seriously wrong with you!
[10:20] Subaru
    This is ridiculous. In a way, I respect you.
[10:22] Subaru
    Are you sure you want me knowing all this?
[10:26] Subaru
    You're the only one I'm telling
    the depths of my otaku interests.
[10:31] Haruto
    If other people found out, I might die.
[10:34] Haruto
    So...
[10:38] Subaru
    I understand.
[10:38] Subaru
    We won't tell anyone. Either of us. Right?
[10:42] Ozma
    I see. An exchange of secrets.
[10:44] Nona
    How wonderful!
[10:46] Nona
    By the way, Haruto-san,
[10:48] Nona
    as your wife, I feel I have the right
    to know those depths, as well!
[10:55] Kusabi
    We've arrived at the office!
[10:57] Kusabi
    I'm really handy to have around, right?
[11:00] Kusabi
    You should be grateful, Seijirou!
[11:01] Kusabi
    Or rather, Mr. Company President.
SIGN    Molding Memories and the Future