4 - Crestofales

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Ham
    Ham...
[00:01] Shop
    Congratulations.
SIGN    New Year's Lottery
[00:03] Shop
    You've won the special prize!
[00:03] Mi
    Oh, thanks...
[00:05] Crow
    Congrats!
[00:05] Shop
    Here's your special prize.
[00:06] Mi
    It's a living creature?!
[00:07] Ham
    Ham, ham.
[00:08] Mi
    Heya!
[00:09] Mai
    Mi-chan, that's...
[00:11] Ham
    Ham.
[00:11] Mi
    Oh, I won it. Isn't it cool?
[00:12] Mai
    Let me touch it, Mi-chan! Let me touch it!
[00:14] Mi
    Isn't it cute?
[00:15] Mai
    Please!
[00:16] Mai
    Hurry up and gimme.
[00:17] Ham
    Ham!
[00:21] Mai
    I won't miss next time...
[00:23] Mi
    Hamsters change people this much?
[00:28] Ham
    Ham, ham.
SIGN    Choboraunyopomi Theater
[00:55] Three
    Ai Mai Mi!
[00:56] Mi
    Fine, make sure you're gentle with him.
[00:57] Ham
    Ham.
[00:59] Mai
    Yay—
[01:00] Mi
    Ham!
[01:01] Mi
    Stop!
[01:04] Mi
    What the hell are you doing?!
[01:08] Mi
    How could you? How could you
    turn him into chawanmushi?
[01:11] Mi
    Huh? What's wrong? Ham?
[01:15] Mai
    Mi-chan, run!
[01:17] Mai
    Phantom Demon Beast Priest Crastofeles!
[01:20] Crast
    To think you'd see through me so easily.
[01:22] Mai
    So, it was you, Crastofeles.
[01:24] Crast
    I believe it's been about 800
    years since the Battle in Heaven...
[01:28] Crast
    But humans haven't changed one bit.
[01:31] Crast
    It must be sad for you, since you
    were reincarnated to protect them.
[01:35] Crast
    Don't you agree, Angel Shakalafy?
[01:42] Crast
    I see your habit when showing
    animosity hasn't changed.
[01:46] Ai
    I bought some drinks.
[01:46] Crast
    Tch. Apparently someone had to interrupt.
[01:48] Crast
    I'll fall back for today.
[01:49] Ai
    Oh, that's a really good cosplay.
[01:51] Ai
    What character is that?
[01:52] Mai
    Is that war going to start again?
[01:52] Ai
    Which do you want, Mi?
[01:54] Mi
    Oh, I'll take orange.
[01:56] Ai
    Here, you want the carbonated one, right?
SIGN    Norifumi
[01:58] Mai
    I will believe in human possibility!
[02:02] Mi
    Mai, what was that monster?
[02:04] Mai
    Phantom Demon Beast Priest Crastofeles.
[02:07] Mai
    Long ago, he was my comrade from Heaven...
[02:14] Cras
    I...
[02:16] Crast
    I want power.
[02:18] Mai
    Due to his desire for ultimate power,
    he turned into a demon beast.
[02:18] Mai
    Crastofeles!
[02:21] Mai
    And he caused the Heavenly
    Demon Space-Time War.
[02:26] Mi
    I have no idea what you're saying,
    but it sounds rough...
[02:28] Mai
    Don't "I have no idea what you're saying" me!
[02:30] Mai
    I frickin' went to the trouble
    of being reincarnated!
[02:32] Mi
    Um... By the way,
    what happened to my hamster?
[02:35] Mai
    Hamster? Oh, the thing that
    immediately got flimsy!
[02:37] Mi
    You're the one who did that to him!
[02:38] Ham
    Ham.
[02:38] Mi
    Hamsuke...
[02:39] Mi
    You idiot! Like I can take
    money from my pet, jerk!
[02:43] Mi
    Hamsuke...
[02:44] Mi
    I would be okay with kissing you, Hamsuke.
[02:46] Ham
    Ham.
[02:47] Mai
    Hamsuke's body was only possessed, so
    if you dig in the chawanmushi, he'll be in it.
[02:50] mi
    Ham!
[02:52] Mai
    I can't defeat him alone,
[02:54] ---
    so we have to find the three sages
    that were reincarnated.
[03:00] Cras
    Shakalafy, your friends have made you weak.
[03:05] Cras
    Human,
[03:06] Crras
    come with me—
[03:08] Ai
    You perv!
[03:09] Nar
    And peace in the human world was preserved.
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
[03:12] Dog
    Tsubonjour! This is Torijiro!
SIGN    [Info] Choboraunyopomi-sensei will announce the 2017 Seiyu Eleven.
[03:14] Dog
    Otsubo Yuka has finally been selected to
    represent Japan in Seiyu Eleven.
[03:16] Yuka
    My ball, my ball!
[03:16] Dog
    But the baumkuchen
[03:18] Dog
    she had in her mouth from halftime
    was too big, and she missed the PK.
SIGN    Thank you to everyone involved.
[03:21] Yuka
    Mrf norf.
[03:21] Dog
    What were the words Yukachin's father said,
    when she stood there in shock?
[03:25] Dog
    Next time: "A Nail That Sticks Out Will Get
    Hammered, But As Long As It Doesn't Get Bent."
SIGN    "A Nail That Sticks Out Will Get Hammered, But As Long As It Doesn't Get Bent (According to wiki)"