3 - Friend

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Mai
    Hey, Mi-chan, I've been wondering for a while,
[00:04] Mai
    but do you have any other friends?
[00:06] Mi
    Huh?
[00:07] Mai
    I've never seen you hang out with anyone else.
[00:09] Mi
    W-Well, I mean, there's Ai—
[00:10] Mai
    But Ai-chan's a minion.
[00:11] Mai
    Hey, Mi-chan, who are your friends?
[00:14] Mai
    Do you just not have any?
[00:15] Mi
    Huh?
[00:16] Mi
    Wh-What are you talking about, Mai?
[00:17] Mi
    To me, everyone is my brother!
    There's no way I don't have any friends!
[00:21] Mai
    No...
[00:23] Mi
    Huh?
[00:24] Mai
    I like you, Mi-chan.
[00:26] Mai
    But the Mi-chan in my mind is flawless
    and completely perfect.
[00:31] Mai
    And yet... I don't want a
    Mi-chan who has no friends!
[00:35] Mai
    I want to see your friends, Mi-chan!
[00:41] Mi
    Tomorrow.
[00:43] Mi
    I'll bring them here.
[00:45] Mi
    The most awesomest friend ever.
[00:48] Mi
    The ultimate friend, who's the perfect
    harmony of fruitiness and acidity.
[00:52] Mi
    I promise to present them to you, Mai.
[00:55] Mi
    Let's meet here again tomorrow.
[00:56] Mai
    Mi-chan...
SIGN    Choboraunyopomi Theater
[01:26] Three
    Ai Mai Mi!
[01:28] Mi
    I said that, but as long as I've been
    alive, I've never had a friend—
[01:32] Pono
    You seem troubled.
[01:33] Mi
    That voice!
[01:34] Mi
    It's Spicy Chicken and Mexican Pilaf—
[01:36] Pono
    I'm Ponoka.
[01:37] Pono
    If you give me five years of your life,
[01:40] Pono
    I wouldn't mind preparing a friend for you.
[01:43] Pono
    Six strands of hair,
    add a pinch of holy water...
[01:46] Pono
    Then you'll make it from this
    clay. Your ideal friend.
[01:51] Mi
    My ideal
[01:53] Mi
    friend!
[01:55] Mi
    I'm tired.
[01:56] Mi
    But will I really be able to
    make a friend out of this?
[02:00] Mi
    Whatever, it should be fine.
[02:03] Mi
    You think so, too, right?
[02:06] Mi
    I'm gonna go to bed now. Goodnight.
[02:28] Mi
    What are you?
[02:29] Tomo
    I'm... friend.
[02:33] Tomo
    Let's play, Mi.
[02:37] Mi
    I can't! How the hell am I supposed
    to play with someone like you?
SIGN    Dangerous Rock Coming!! | It's Coming! A Meteor | Crap! Take Cover!
[02:40] Tomo
    I'm... friend.
[02:43] Tomo
    I... like you...
[02:49] Frog
    Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit.
[02:49] Mai
    We're taking an evening walk.
[02:52] Mi
    Just stop already!
[02:53] Tomo
    I'm friend...
[02:54] Mai
    Mi-chan...
[02:55] Mai
    She has such a dangerous-looking friend.
[02:56] Mi
    Stay away!
[02:58] Nar
    She had no choice but to respect that.
[02:59] Nar
    Sachie and Kanako.
SIGN    Sachie and Kanako
[02:59] Sign
    Narration: Hirano Fumi
[03:01] Sachie
    I can't swim...
[03:02] Kanako
    Don't worry. First, just put
    your mouth in the water.
[03:05] Kanako
    O-Okay.
[03:06] Sachi
    I'm going to drown.
[03:07] ---
    At this rate, I'm going to fall
    for Kana-chan and drown!
[03:10] Nar
    Sachie was getting in deeper and deeper.
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
[03:12] Tori
    Good evening! This is Torijiro!
[03:14] Tori
    Nyopomi-sensei was invited
    to a Shueisha party.
[03:16] Tori
    Even the after party.
[03:17] Tori
    But she displayed her social anxiety
[03:19] Tori
    and kept staring at the roast beef, all alone.
[03:21] Tori
    Will Nyopomi-sensei be able to get
    along with the other authors?
SIGN    "May a Truck Plow Through Here!!!"
[03:24] Wan
    Next time: "May a Truck Plow Through Here!!!"
[03:26] Wan
    Look forward to it!