1 - Jean the Cigarette-Peddler

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] TV
    Good morning!
[00:05] TV
    We're here at Bādon Broadcasting Station 
    with the morning news.
SIGN    His Majesty's 99th Birthday
[00:09] TV
    His Majesty is celebrating his
[00:13] TV
    99th birthday at Dōwā Castle.
[00:15] L
    Huh?
[00:16] L
    I didn't know he was that old.
[00:16] TV
    Various festivities to celebrate 
    His Majesty's birth
[00:18] TV
    will be held nationally, 
    including in Dōwā itself.
[00:23] J
    Just goes to show how peaceful our nation is.
[00:25] L
    Jean, you need to hurry up.
[00:29] J
    Yeah, yeah.
[00:31] J
    That reminds me, Lotta...
[00:33] J
    I'm going on a business trip today.
[00:35] L
    Why didn't you tell me earlier?
[00:37] L
    I need time to get things ready!
[00:40] L
    Here.
[00:43] L
    I'll be looking forward to a souvenir.
[00:47] L
    Oh.
[00:47] L
    Your cigarette case!
[00:51] L
    You can't forget to take your trademark,
[00:55] L
    "Jean the Cigarette Peddler."
[00:59] Man
    Jean...
[01:02] Man
    How about a cigarette?
[02:43] Ppl
    Look, a cigarette.
[02:44] Ppl
    Wow... That's such a luxury.
[02:50] [Messenger] Sign
    Report to HQ ASAP.
SIGN    Bādon District 
    ACCA Headquarters
[02:55] Moz
    Everyone, our ten o'clock snack is roll cake
SIGN    Inspection Department
[03:00] Moz
    from Hachikuma, on 3rd Avenue!
[03:02] K
    Yay!
[03:03] A
    It isn't ten yet, but who cares?
[03:07] Knot
    Hello.
[03:08] A
    Chief, please have some cake.
[03:10] O
    I will, once it's ten.
[03:14] M
    Deputy Chief, I heard you'd be out of
    the office, so I didn't get you any.
[03:18] Knot
    Is something wrong?
[03:23] J
    Our department's getting shut down.
[03:27] P
    As you know, the Dōwā Kingdom is a federation
[03:30] P
    comprised of thirteen autonomous districts.
SIGN    ACCA Deputy Director-General 
    Pochard
[03:35] P
    ACCA was created as an entity,
    independent of the state,
[03:38] P
    with various agencies that are
    vital to our citizens' lives.
[03:42] P
    These include police and fire departments,
    and medical services.
[03:46] P
    ACCA has allowed each district branch
[03:50] P
    to operate autonomously, as well.
[03:54] P
    We, at ACCA Headquarters,
    have been tasked with
[03:57] P
    the oversight of the thirteen
    branches for many years.
[03:59] P
    And for what reason was your Inspection
    Department created at headquarters?
[04:05] O
    To monitor the day-to-day
    operations at each branch.
[04:09] P
    That's right.
[04:10] P
    Approximately one hundred years ago,
    when we were politically unstable,
[04:15] P
    your Inspection Department was created
[04:18] P
    to monitor the outlying districts.
[04:20] P
    Members of your department were
[04:21] P
    stationed at each ACCA branch to oversee
    data output on a daily basis.
[04:26] P
    Further, senior officials also
    conducted random audits.
[04:30] P
    The Inspection Department's raison d'être was
[04:33] P
    rooted in times of chaotic instability.
[04:36] P
    And for that reason...
[04:37] Knot
    I see, we're finally being shuttered.
[04:40] M
    I figured it'd happen eventually.
[04:42] A
    We aren't really necessary.
[04:45] Owl
    We'll be split up.
[04:50] A
    No!
[04:53] Owl
    That's right, Jean...
    You'll still go out today.
[04:56] J
    Huh?
[04:57] Knot
    The next flight is in an hour and a half.
[05:03] P
    I've notified the Inspection Department
    of their termination!
[05:06] Spade
    Well done.
SIGN    ACCA Five Chief Officers 
    Spade
[05:14] Spade
    ACCA will finally be rid of the
    Inspection Department.
SIGN    ACCA Five Chief Officers 
    Pastis
[05:18] Pastis
    Was this the right move?
[05:20] Gro
    We've merely trimmed excess fat
    to streamline the budget.
[05:24] Gro
    That's all.
[05:26] Li
    I wouldn't call it "excess."
SIGN    ACCA Five Chief Officers 
    Lilium
[05:28] Li
    From our perspective, it's an
    important department
[05:31] Li
    that exposes what lies in shadow.
[05:33] Li
    It's quick to identify any brewing unrest.
[05:35] Gro
    In these times, there is no brewing unrest.
SIGN    ACCA Five Chief Officers 
    Pine
[05:38] Pine
    A watchful inspector can have
[05:41] Pine
    the effect of tightening regional operations.
[05:44] Gro
    That is all in the past, as well.
SIGN    ACCA Five Chief Officers 
    Grossular
[05:47] Gro
    Now, it is important for HQ to demonstrate
    trust in the outlying regions.
[05:51] Li
    Trust...
[05:54] Pine
    Well, the matter's been decided.
[05:56] Pine
    At a later time, we can discuss
    how things will look.
[05:59] Spade
    Indeed.
[06:01] Gro
    Excuse me.
[06:09] Pastis
    When he steps out, it just
    makes it easier to breathe.
SIGN    Fāmasu District
[06:19] J
    This district is endless.
SIGN    ACCA Inspection Department  Fāmasu Branch Supervisor  Eider
[06:35] Ei
    Thinking that we're in the
    middle of nowhere?
[06:38] Ei
    It's just that many people aren't
    out because the harvest's over.
[06:42] J
    Uh-huh.
[06:44] Ei
    The district's primarily agricultural.
[06:46] Ei
    Do you know how much produce
    comes from Fāmasu?
[06:49] Ei
    Ninety percent of national produce! Ninety!
[06:51] J
    I think the crime rate's low here, too.
[06:54] Ei
    That's right!
[06:57] Ei
    There are lots of really nice people
    here, so I have it easy.
[07:00] J
    You like it here?
[07:02] Ei
    Yes!
[07:03] J
    I'm glad to hear it's a great place,
[07:05] J
    but our department's being shut down
    at the end of the month.
[07:09] Ei
    Huh?!
[07:12] J
    Eyes on the road, all right?
[07:14] Ei
    What do you mean, we're getting shut down?
[07:17] J
    The Inspection Department is a fossil, see?
[07:21] J
    Given how peaceful times have been,
[07:23] J
    everyone was wondering how long
    the department would last.
[07:26] Ei
    I didn't...
[07:29] Ei
    What's going to happen to us?
[07:32] J
    Well, given that you're a supervisor,
    I'm sure you'll be fine.
[07:37] Ei
    We can't fire our people!
[07:39] Ei
    They all do great work!
[07:42] J
    Let's finish up here.
[07:45] J
    Technically, my job includes looking
    into subordinates' performances.
[07:55] Ei
    Feel free to examine every nook and cranny.
[07:57] Ei
    I doubt you'll find anything
    to complain about!
[08:00] J
    I'll admit it's well organized.
[08:03] Ei
    Okay, the next stop is...
[08:05] J
    Wait.
[08:06] J
    I'll take care of my other task
[08:09] J
    while the branch director is still here.
[08:14] BC
    Otus, you still carry a lot of catalogs
    around with you, eh?
[08:18] J
    You're welcome to keep
    any you take a liking to.
[08:20] BC
    Hmm!
[08:21] BC
    This is a catalog for donut
    vending machines, isn't it?
[08:23] BC
    Very nice.
[08:25] J
    Feel free to peruse them to pass the time.
[08:31] Ei
    What was all that about?
[08:34] J
    A company president I know
    asked me to do it.
[08:37] J
    I guess I'll start making the
    station rounds tomorrow.
[08:39] J
    The district's huge, so it'll be
    tough to get around.
[08:45] Ei
    What's wrong?
[08:47] J
    HQ.
[08:49] M
    Oh, Deputy Chief!
[08:50] A
    Don't forget to bring back presents!
[08:52] J
    Yeah, yeah.
[08:54] J
    Is Knot there?
[08:55] Knot
    Is something wrong?
[08:57] J
    Send me the Fāmasu inspectors' shift
[09:00] J
    and computer-use logs, will you?
[09:02] Knot
    Got it.
[09:06] J
    Thanks.
[09:09] J
    Here. October 3rd.
[09:12] Ei
    Y-Yes?
[09:14] J
    The time stamp of the data transfer
    from the west station
[09:18] J
    is off by five minutes on this day alone.
[09:23] J
    This data's been tampered with.
[09:26] Ei
    No way!
[09:28] Ei
    That's impossible.
[09:30] J
    How long from here to the west station?
[09:33] Ei
    About an hour and a half by plane.
[09:36] J
    We still have time.
[09:49] Inspector
    Well, this is always a surprise.
[09:52] Inspector
    And there's a festival going on in town, too.
[09:56] Ei
    We'll be done soon enough.
[09:58] J
    Are Constables Maïs and Beets here?
[10:01] J
    Of course not.
[10:02] J
    Festivals are the best time
    for black market deals.
[10:09] J
    On October 3rd, due to an
    anonymous citizen's tip,
[10:12] J
    the constables went to search
    a warehouse on the outskirts.
[10:16] J
    But there's no record of that here.
[10:19] J
    Why is that?
[10:21] J
    I believe the two caught the
    criminals red-handed,
[10:23] J
    but let the illegal cigarette makers go
[10:26] J
    in exchange for cuts of future deals.
[10:29] J
    They then came to you
[10:31] J
    and asked you to modify their
    shift logs, didn't they?
[10:35] Inspector
    Wh-Wh-What?
[10:37] J
    Since you're responsible for compiling
    data, you were torn
[10:40] J
    about modifying and sending
    their shift logs to HQ.
[10:43] J
    Resulting in a five-minute delay from
    your usual transmission time.
[10:46] Inspector
    W-Wait a minute, Deputy Chief!
[10:49] Inspector
    What makes you so sure?
[10:50] Inspector
    It's just five minutes.
[10:54] Ei
    It isn't unheard of to fall behind by
    five minutes for health reasons.
[10:58] J
    Did you confirm that was the case?
[11:01] Ei
    You don't trust your
    subordinates, Deputy Chief?
[11:06] J
    The anonymous tip about the
    cigarette makers was still
[11:10] J
    in the report from the day before.
[11:14] J
    I guess no one thought to scrub
    the previous day's data.
[11:18] Inspector
    You're wrong!
[11:19] Inspector
    I only did what they asked...
[11:23] J
    Is that right?
[11:26] J
    I can smell tobacco on you.
[11:33] Ei
    Both Constables Beets and Maïs
    admitted to the wrongdoing.
[11:37] J
    At the very end,
[11:39] J
    I guess we ended up smearing our own name...
[11:44] Ei
    I'm so sorry.
[11:48] J
    I try not to think of
    subordinates as exceptional.
[11:54] J
    After all, doubting them is my job.
[11:58] J
    Now, I can finally leave this behind.
[12:02] J
    Traveling around isn't easy.
[12:10] Ei
    I wonder what will happen to ACCA from here.
[12:13] Ei
    Will each branch become more distinct
    without Inspection Department oversight?
[12:17] Ei
    Or will they simply fall
    under HQ's leadership?
[12:22] J
    I doubt that.
[12:24] J
    Each district wants to
    retain its own character.
[12:29] J
    In part, that's what maintains
[12:31] J
    peace in this country, too.
[12:35] J
    Besides, ACCA is a unified front in name only.
[12:38] J
    Each of the thirteen has its own uniform.
[12:41] J
    Just as this district has its unique look,
[12:43] J
    each ACCA branch has adopted
    a form that suits their locale.
[12:47] J
    That's what I like about ACCA.
[12:51] J
    If you don't want to return to HQ,
    why not request a transfer?
[12:55] J
    You could stay here for work.
[12:56] Ei
    I'll go back to headquarters.
[12:59] Ei
    I want to learn a lot from you, Deputy Chief!
[13:06] J
    Eh?
[13:07] J
    We aren't getting shut down?
[13:09] Owl
    That's what we were told this morning.
[13:12] J
    What?
[13:13] J
    But we learned some of our staff was corrupt.
[13:16] J
    I thought we'd be shut down
    immediately or something.
[13:19] Knot
    Well, all's well that ends well, right?
[13:25] Spade
    True, the Inspection Department
    was at fault in this matter.
[13:28] Spade
    More importantly, one of the districts
    was harboring corruption.
[13:31] Spade
    The Inspection Department is
[13:33] Spade
    precisely the kind of agency that can
    uncover such corruption early.
[13:36] Spade
    As such, the department will
    no longer be terminated.
[13:39] Spade
    I can understand that reasoning.
[13:41] Pine
    Still, it is mystifying why Grossular,
    who first proposed the termination,
[13:45] Pine
    was so quick to concede.
[13:48] Pine
    Don't you agree?
[13:51] Lilium
    Few can understand what goes
    on in that man's head.
[14:01] Gro
    I want Jean Otus monitored.
[14:07] Fire
    This way!
[14:15] J
    Another fire... There have been lots.
[14:19] Rail
    Smoking is a pastime of the rich.
[14:23] Rail
    You shouldn't just do it on the street.
[14:26] Guy
    Hey, let's go, rookie!
SIGN    Inspection Department
[14:37] A
    Check of yesterday's data from
    the Peshi Branch complete.
[14:40] A
    Forwarding to Data Management Department.
[14:45] Keli
    It's snack time!
[14:47] Keli
    Today, we have flan! A five-pack!
[14:49] AM
    Yay!
[14:50] AM
    Flan! Flan!
[14:52] Moz
    Huh?
[14:53] Moz
    Deputy Chief, aren't you off duty today?
[14:55] J
    I forgot my lighter.
[14:58] Knot
    What's that?
[15:00] J
    A draft of the audit schedule for
    the second half of the year.
[15:03] Knot
    Oh, it's already that time?
[15:06] Knot
    Hey, this is good!
[15:08] Keli
    It's a five-pack, so it'd also be perfect
    to buy for home, Knot!
[15:12] Knot
    Five would mean squabbles
    over the extra one.
[15:14] Keli
    Huh?
[15:15] Keli
    But you have three children and your wife...
[15:19] Knot
    Well, my wife ran off.
[15:21] Girls
    What?!
[15:24] J
    Chief, isn't this a bit much?
[15:28] J
    Currently, each branch is randomly audited
    at least once every two years.
[15:31] J
    But according to this,
[15:33] J
    I'm now supposed to hit all
    thirteen in six months.
[15:37] Owl
    It's a directive from the Five Chief Officers.
[15:39] J
    The Five Chief Officers?
[15:41] J
    Have I done something to make
    them have it out for me?
[15:44] Owl
    Who knows?
[15:45] Owl
    Maybe they feel we need to
[15:47] Owl
    tighten things up because we recently
    uncovered that corruption.
[15:57] J
    "Tighten things up," huh?
[16:01] Man
    What are you looking at?
[16:02] Rail
    Jean the Cigarette Peddler.
[16:05] Man
    Again?
[16:06] Rail
    Hard to believe he puffs through
    that expensive stuff like air.
[16:09] Rail
    I heard he lives in a ritzy apartment
    building in the town center.
[16:13] Rail
    And on the top floor, at that.
[16:15] Rail
    Maybe he was born with a
    silver spoon up his ass.
[16:17] Man
    You sure know a lot about him.
[16:19] Rail
    Rumors about people you don't
    like are easy to come by.
[16:34] L
    The light bulb in the entrance, got it.
[16:36] L
    I'll make sure it's switched right away.
[16:39] Man
    Thank you, building manager.
[16:41] L
    Welcome back. Huh?
[16:44] L
    Weren't you going drinking with Nino?
[16:46] J
    For some reason, I felt I was being watched.
[16:49] L
    What do you mean?
[16:50] J
    I just feel restless.
[16:52] L
    Hey, smoke outside.
[16:54] J
    Yeah, yeah.
[17:00] J
    I guess I wouldn't feel watched
    all the way up here...
[17:05] J
    If anyone were watching,
[17:06] J
    it'd either be God up high
    or an ACCA chopper.
[17:11] J
    The Five Chief Officers, huh?
[17:18] TV
    We're here at the Bādon Broadcasting 
    Station with the morning news.
[17:18] L
    Maybe the brass has something
    against you now...
[17:21] J
    You think so, too?
[17:22] L
    Hitting all the branches in six months?
[17:24] TV
    Yesterday evening, there were 
    fires of suspicious origin,
[17:25] L
    Maybe you should just quit.
[17:26] TV
    such as a dumpster fire in a 
    Bādon District apartment.
[17:27] L
    We have the family business,
    managing this building.
[17:29] TV
    Police believe the fires may be linked
[17:30] L
    So, when do you start making the rounds?
[17:31] TV
    to an arson chain and continue to investigate.
[17:33] J
    Today.
[17:34] L
    Crap!
[17:34] TV
    Last night, according to the East 
    Bādon police, around midnight...
[17:35] J
    Oh, you don't need to pack catalogs today.
[17:38] L
    Why not?
[17:41] J
    Because I'm auditing the local branch.
[17:44] Bread
    Thank you!
[17:46] J
    Their sandwich bread is really soft.
[17:49] Knot
    Oh, I had no idea.
[17:51] Rail
    An elite from headquarters,
[17:53] Rail
    buying bread here, of all places?
[17:56] Rail
    I thought you lot got your food at the town
    center's upscale shopping district.
[18:01] J
    This bakery's good.
[18:03] J
    Isn't that why you guys come all
    the way here for your donuts?
[18:08] Rail
    Branch staffers are really good at
    finding cheap, tasty eats.
[18:12] Rail
    I'm surprised elites would
    even know of this place.
[18:16] J
    You know you branch guys
[18:18] J
    get paid better than we do, right?
[18:22] R+Man
    Huh?
[18:22] Knot
    Yeah, it's true.
[18:25] J
    Our entrance exam is harder,
    but our salary is lower.
[18:29] J
    It's one of the seven wonders of ACCA.
[18:34] Knot
    Someone you know?
[18:35] J
    Nope, but he can't seem to leave me alone.
[18:38] Rail
    Damn him, looking like it all
    just fell into his lap...
SIGN    ACCA Bādon Branch
[18:43] Gurusu
    I'm surprised to hear
SIGN    ACCA Inspection Department 
    Bādon Branch Supervisor 
    Grus
[18:45] Gurusu
    there's an audit today.
[18:47] Gurusu
    It's too sudden.
[18:48] J
    An audit is pointless unless it's sudden.
[18:51] Gurusu
    I feel my life shorten each time...
SIGN    ACCA Director-General 
    Mauve
[19:01] Mauve
    Tell the branch director that I'm here.
[19:04] Mauve
    Do it now.
[19:05] Man
    Yes, ma'am!
[19:09] Mauve
    You're here for an audit, too, Otus?
[19:14] Mauve
    Good work.
[19:15] Man
    Sorry to keep you waiting!
[19:18] Man
    This way, please.
[19:21] J
    Me, too, huh?
[19:25] Gurusu
    The director-general is personally
    conducting an unannounced audit?
[19:28] Gurusu
    Has something happened?
[19:30] J
    Who knows?
[19:32] J
    I finished my rounds at the west station,
[19:34] J
    so I'll go to the east station next.
[19:36] J
    Maybe the north station tomorrow.
[19:39] Gurusu
    Deputy Chief, you always smoke in the
    center of the central plaza, don't you?
[19:44] J
    The brass doesn't caution you about that?
[19:48] J
    Nope.
[19:51] J
    Let's swing by the café at headquarters.
[19:56] Pine
    Hello, Otus.
[20:00] J
    Oh, hello...
[20:04] Lilium
    Conducting an audit?
[20:06] J
    Yes.
[20:08] Pine
    Your department managed to avoid termination.
[20:12] J
    Thanks to your decision.
[20:14] Lilium
    Grossular changed his mind.
[20:17] Lilium
    He was pro-termination,
[20:19] Lilium
    but he took my opinion into account.
[20:22] Pine
    Those two always butt heads.
[20:25] Lilium
    I've just never shared the
    same opinion with him.
[20:28] Lilium
    Not once.
[20:30] Lilium
    It's hard to discern what
    he really thinks, as well.
[20:34] Lilium
    Indeed, he's just like you, Otus.
[20:39] J
    I'd have cast my vote with
    Chief Officer Grossular, also.
[20:42] Lilium
    Hmm?
[20:44] J
    I've submitted a request for
    transfer many times...
[20:48] J
    That doesn't change the Inspection
    Department's irrelevance, does it?
[20:52] J
    Or are you saying something is about
    to happen in this peaceful world?
[20:57] Lilium
    We don't know that for sure.
[20:59] Lilium
    And if something were to, the Inspection
    Department might be the first to know.
[21:05] Pine
    Hmm?
[21:07] Pine
    It's Director-General Mauve.
[21:09] Lilium
    She was apparently out on an audit.
[21:11] Pine
    Oh?
[21:12] J
    You didn't know?
[21:15] J
    I assumed she was acting on the
    Five Chief Officers' behalf.
[21:17] Lilium
    Well, given that she's the one acting,
[21:20] Lilium
    I'm sure there won't be any mistakes.
[21:27] Lilium
    Well, excuse us.
[21:29] Pine
    Thanks for the cigarette.
[21:30] JG
    Take care.
[21:31] JG
    Take care.
[21:33] J
    Well, then...
[21:36] Gurusu
    There really are a lot of fires lately.
[21:39] Gurusu
    I wonder if that's another arson.
[21:42] J
    It's already four o'clock.
[21:44] J
    I'll go to the east station tomorrow.
[21:45] Gurusu
    Huh?
[21:46] J
    I'm supposed to go drinking with a friend.
[21:49] Gurusu
    I... I see.
[21:56] Rail
    You know, these days,
[21:58] Rail
    it's unusual for someone to carry
[22:00] Rail
    something that could start a fire.
[22:10] Nino
    Is something wrong?
[22:12] J
    No.
[22:15] Gro
    That's an intriguing rumor.
[22:19] Gro
    A coup d'état in these peaceful times, you say?
SIGN    The Partner in Crime's Name Is Nino
[23:55] ?
    Next time on ACCA: 13-Territory Inspection Dept.,
[23:59] ?
    The Partner in Crime's Name Is Nino.
[24:01] Nino
    I see...
[24:03] Nino
    It's finally my turn.
[24:06] Nino
    You're really hopeless without me, Jean.