A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!

Haruaki Abe is happy to finally fulfill his dream of becoming a teacher. That happiness is short-lived after he arrives at Hyakki Academy and finds out the school is full of monsters! Can Abe overcome his cowardice and get his supernatural students under control? Join the timid teacher and his bizarre class for a tale of ghoulish mischief and paranormal education.

Season 1

Season 1

1 - Welcome to Hyakki Academy!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Hyakkitei Grill
[00:10] Haruaki
    So this is Hyakki Academy Island.
SIGN    Alcohol
SIGN    Restaurant
SIGN    Soba
SIGN    Fuku Fuku
SIGN    Clothes
[00:14] Haruaki
    They even have convenience
    stores and restaurants.
[00:18] Haruaki
    Hey, that building at the top of the hill
    looks like it might be Hyakki Academy.
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
SIGN    Hyakki
    Academy
[00:23] Haruaki
    Yeah! It must be!
[00:26] Haruaki
    I'm Haruaki Abe.
[00:28] Haruaki
    I'm a teacher who came to work
    at the school on this island.
[00:33] Haruaki
    A year ago, I became a teacher at
    a public high school, but then...
[00:37] (Flashback) Thug
    The hell are you starin' at, huh?
[00:40] Haruaki
    Some delinquents threatened me,
[00:41] Haruaki
    and I fled from the school just
    30 minutes after arriving.
[00:45] Haruaki
    I've spent the whole year since
    then cooped up at home.
[00:49] Haruaki
    I'm very aware of how pathetic this is.
SIGN    Drugstore
[00:53] Haruaki
    But this time, I'm gonna
    be a wonderful teacher!
SIGN    Convenience
[00:56] Haruaki
    And this high school...
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
SIGN    School Pamphlet
[00:58] Haruaki
    has traditional school uniforms.
    It's what I always dreamed of!
SIGN    Male
    Uniform
SIGN    Female
    Uniform
[01:05] Haruaki
    I absolutely love school uniforms!
[01:07] Haruaki
    But it's not like I wear them or have
    any interest in high school girls!
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
[01:18] Haruaki
    Wow...
[01:23] Haruaki
    This building's definitely got presence.
[01:25] Principal
    Thank you for saying so.
[01:29] Principal
    Hey there, Haruaki-kun.
[01:30] Haruaki
    Oh, you're the principal!
[01:32] Principal
    Thank you for coming.
[01:34] Haruaki
    No, no! Thank you very much for hiring me!
[01:38] Principal
    It's my pleasure! Your family's
    helped me out quite often,
[01:42] Principal
    and we need you at this school.
[01:47] Haruaki
    Wow...
[01:48] Haruaki
    No one's ever said they needed me before!
[01:57] Principal
    This is the class you'll be in charge of.
SIGN    Class 2-3
SIGN    Roll Book
[02:01] Principal
    All of your students are
    waiting for you, Abe-sensei.
[02:04] Haruaki
    Right! I'll do my best!
[02:06] Haruaki
    This time, I'm going to
    be a wonderful teacher!
[02:12] Haruaki
    In April, as the cherry blossoms danced,
[02:14] Haruaki
    I became the teacher I always wanted to be.
[02:16] Tamao
    Deadly Move: Kitty-Kitty Attack!
[02:20] Haruaki
    Or at least, I was supposed to...
[02:21] Ren
    That's just a German suplex!
SIGN    Fire
[02:31] Haruaki
    But there are youkai all around me!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Episode 1
    "Welcome to Hyakki Academy!"
[04:12] Haruaki
    S...
[04:13] Haruaki
    Sorry! Wrong room!
[04:18] Haruaki
    Some strange creature was
    performing a German suplex!
[04:21] Principal
    It's quite common for high
    school boys to wrestle.
[04:24] Haruaki
    That's not the part that freaked me out!
[04:27] Haruaki
    Wh-Wh-What in the world is this school?!
[04:30] Principal
    Hyakki Academy is a youkai school where
    youkai from all over Japan come to learn.
[04:37] Principal
    You will be our school's first...
SIGN    2nd Prep Room
[04:39] Haruaki
    I'm going home!
SIGN    2nd Prep Room
SIGN    2nd Prep Room
[04:40] Principal
    ...human teacher.
[04:44] Haruaki
    The principal's a strange creature, too!
[04:46] Principal
    I'm telling you that I'm a youkai.
[04:48] Principal
    Come, now. Hurry back to your classroom!
[04:50] Haruaki
    N-No way!
[04:55] Haruaki
    I'm gonna quit being a
    teacher and become a baker!
[04:57] Principal
    Just get in your classroom already!
[05:01] Haruaki
    Wait!
[05:11] Haruaki
    U-Um...
SIGN    Fire
[05:23] Mujina
    He's not coming out.
[05:25] Mujina
    He's been under the lectern
    for about 40 minutes now.
[05:28] Ren
    He's not dead under there, is he?
[05:33] Mamekichi
    Sano-kun? What're you going to do?
[05:38] Sano
    Hey.
[05:40] Haruaki
    A human?
[05:42] Sano
    We're not gonna eat you
    or anything, so come out.
[05:44] Haruaki
    Right. I've been wanting to
    come out for a while now,
[05:47] Haruaki
    but I fit so snugly in here
    that I can't seem to get out...
[05:50] Haruaki
    Help me! Pull me out! Please!
[05:53] Sano
    Damn it. Here.
[06:02] Girls
    You pervert!
[06:06] Sano
    Even the girls don't sound that girly.
[06:08] Mamekichi
    Hup.
[06:09] Mamekichi
    Sensei, Sano-kun's a yakubyougami.
[06:12] Mamekichi
    They use their youkai magic to
    bring misfortune upon people.
[06:15] Mamekichi
    Like what happened to you just now.
[06:17] Mamekichi
    But this is rare, Sano-kun.
    You don't usually use your powers.
[06:21] Sano
    I got annoyed, and it just happened.
[06:24] Haruaki
    Unbelievable.
[06:25] Haruaki
    Not only did he strip me naked, he's thoroughly
    wiping off the hand that held mine.
[06:29] Principal
    Haruaki-kun! A moment, please!
[06:33] Principal
    Honestly... We can't have our
    teachers be scared of our students.
[06:37] Haruaki
    I'm not scared of the students!
    I'm scared of the youkai!
[06:39] Principal
    Oh, you're so helpless.
[06:42] Principal
    Here, I'll give you this. Please perk up a bit.
[06:44] Haruaki
    What's this?
[06:46] Principal
    It's a youkai encyclopedia.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[06:48] Principal
    And also...
SIGN    Super Cute
    Uniform Encyclopedia
SIGN    Super Cute
    Uniform Encyclopedia
[06:51] Haruaki
    Th-This is...
[06:53] Haruaki
    Can I really have this?
[06:54] Principal
    Of course. I have high hopes for you.
[06:57] Principal
    I'm counting on you.
[06:59] Principal
    If you work hard, I'll even
    gift you one of those uniforms.
[07:03] Haruaki
    R-Really?! I-I'll do my best!
SIGN    Haruaki Abe
[07:08] Haruaki
    And so... I'm going to be your
    homeroom teacher starting today.
[07:12] Mamekichi
    Seimei Abeno?
SIGN    Haruaki Abe
[07:14] Haruaki
    Nope.
[07:16] Haruaki
    It's Haruaki Abe.
[07:18] Haruaki
    I'm a human. I-It's a
    pleasure to meet you all.
[07:21] Mujina
    Gah! You're human?
[07:23] Students
    Boo!
[07:23] Haruaki
    Please don't boo me! I'm going to cry!
[07:26] Sano
    Quit crying. Don't be a pain.
[07:30] Haruaki
    That blondie's a bit mean...
SIGN    Roll Book
[07:33] Haruaki
    O-Okay, I'm taking roll.
[07:35] Haruaki
    The nopperabou, Mujina-kun.
[07:37] Mujina
    Huh?
[07:38] Haruaki
    Oh, he actually has a face.
SIGN    Roll Book
[07:41] Haruaki
    The gashadokuro, Utagawa-san.
[07:44] Kuniko
    Here.
[07:44] Haruaki
    Oh, she can turn human.
[07:47] Haruaki
    The cyclops, Nyuudou-kun.
[07:49] Ren
    Huh?
SIGN    Mikoto Sano
SIGN    Yakubyougami
SIGN    Address: Shimane Prefecture
     Izumo City,
    Takamagahara 4-chome
[07:51] Haruaki
    Oh, it's the blondie. So he's a yakubyougami.
[07:55] Haruaki
    Seems fitting somehow.
SIGN    Roll Book
[07:57] Haruaki
    Um... The yakubyougami, Mikoto Sano-kun.
SIGN    Roll Book
[08:03] Haruaki
    He totally ignored me.
[08:06] Haruaki
    Next, the dorotabou, Koutarou Hijita-kun.
[08:10] Mamekichi
    So about Hijita-kun...
[08:12] Mamekichi
    His older sis is getting married in
    Hawaii, so he's there right now.
[08:15] Haruaki
    I see. Thanks for telling me, um...
[08:19] Mamekichi
    I'm the mame-danuki, Mamekichi Maizuka!
[08:22] Haruaki
    Maizuka-kun.
[08:24] Mamekichi
    Yup! Pleased to meet ya, Seimei-kun.
[08:25] Haruaki
    It's Haruaki. Also, if you could add "sensei"—
[08:30] Hijita
    Hey.
[08:31] Mamekichi
    Hiji-tan! You're back from Hawaii?
[08:34] Hijita
    Yup.
[08:36] Hijita
    And here's the totem pole
    I promised I'd get you.
[08:40] Mamekichi
    Whoa, that's awesome! It's the real deal!
[08:42] Hijita
    And I got something for the rest of you, too!
    Chocolate-covered macadamia nuts!
[08:46] Students
    Yeah!
[08:49] Hijita
    Huh? Who's that?
[08:51] Haruaki
    Oh, I'm this class's homeroom
    teacher starting today.
[08:54] Haruaki
    I'm Haruaki Abe. I'm a human.
[08:56] Hijita
    Die, you asshole!
[08:57] Haruaki
    What in the world possessed you to do that?!
[09:01] Mamekichi
    So about Hiji-tan...
[09:02] Mamekichi
    He loves his older sis very much, and
     she married a human, so he's on edge.
[09:06] Sano
    Just saying the word "human"
    is enough to set him off now.
[09:09] Haruaki
    What?! He's clearly just taking
    his anger out on me, then!
[09:13] Haruaki
    What the... Is he slinging mud at me?
[09:15] Haruaki
    That's so mean, Hijita-kun!
[09:16] Hijita
    Shut up! Go drown!
[09:20] Sano
    That's Hijita's youkai magic.
[09:24] Haruaki
    What did I ever do to you?
[09:26] Haruaki
    If you want to hate someone,
    hate your brother-in-law...
[09:29] Sano
    He looks more like a
    dorotabou than Hijita does.
[09:31] Hijita
    We're youkai! What's wrong
    with playing tricks on humans?
[09:35] Hijita
    If you don't like it,
    go back to some human school!
[09:38] Haruaki
    Even if I wanted to go back... I can't.
[09:43] Haruaki
    Because there's no place
    for me in a human school.
[09:48] Haruaki
    Once every three days,
    delinquents would come after me...
[09:50] Haruaki
    Sometimes, grade school kids made me cry...
SIGN    Fire
[09:53] Haruaki
    Not only has no one ever pitied me,
[09:55] Haruaki
    but I've never made a single
    friend ever since I was born.
[09:59] Haruaki
    And yet I was finally
    able to become a teacher!
SIGN    Oni
[10:02] Haruaki
    I'm sorry I'm a human!
[10:04] Haruaki
    But I'm barely getting by as I am!
[10:06] Haruaki
    So you could at least be
    a little nicer to me...
[10:13] Haruaki
    Er... Yeah, that was a joke...
SIGN    Fire
[10:17] Students
    That absolutely was not a joke!
SIGN    Oni
[10:24] Haruaki
    Okay, I'll continue taking attendance, then.
[10:28] Haruaki
    Next, the zashikiwarashi, Beniko Zashiki-san.
SIGN    Oni
[10:32] Haruaki
    Huh? Is Zashiki-san absent today?
[10:34] Mamekichi
    Well, actually, she hasn't been
    here since winter of our first year.
[10:38] Haruaki
    Really?
[10:40] Haruaki
    I see... But we have our
    class photo shoot tomorrow.
[10:45] Haruaki
    I'd like for Zashiki-san to be in it...
[10:48] Haruaki
    Maybe I'll go see her.
[10:50] Mamekichi
    Huh?
[10:52] Hijita
    There's no point in you going.
SIGN    Game Shop
SIGN    2nd
    Floor
SIGN    Karaoke
[10:57] Mamekichi
    There'd be trouble if you caused a
    misunderstanding at the girls' dorm,
[11:00] Mamekichi
    so I was told to keep an eye on you!
[11:02] Haruaki
    What do you mean by that?!
[11:04] Haruaki
    It's my first day and my
    popularity's non-existent?!
[11:06] Mamekichi
    The girls asked me to do it!
[11:08] Mamekichi
    Just in case, I had Sano-kun tag
    along, too. Right, Sano-kun?
[11:13] Haruaki
    There won't be a "just in case"!
    You can stop stretching!
[11:17] Haruaki
    Anyway, I'm really serious about this!
[11:19] Haruaki
    At this rate, Zashiki-san
    is going to be held back!
[11:23] Haruaki
    We need to all be in that class picture!
[11:27] Haruaki
    Zashikiwarashi are youkai
    that bring good luck.
[11:29] Haruaki
    If she came to school, maybe
    my luck would improve, too.
[11:33] Sano
    That's not what you're thinking, is it?
[11:35] Haruaki
    Gulp!
[11:36] Haruaki
    Of course not! Don't be silly!
[11:39] Haruaki
    I-I know! Before we go to the girls' dorm,
    I'll do some research on zashikiwarashi!
[11:43] Sano and Mamekichi
    Right on the nose.
[11:45] Mamekichi
    Say, Seimei-kun. What does that youkai
    dictionary say about mame-danukis?
[11:50] Haruaki
    Let's see.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[11:52] Small Old Man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary!
[11:54] Small Old Man
    Mame-danuki stand out amongst tanuki
    youkai because they are smaller.
[11:58] Small Old Man
    Tanuki are known to transform by
    putting leaves on their heads,
[12:01] Small Old Man
    but mame-danuki transform by putting
    nt sacks on their heads. Pretty gross, huh?
[12:06] Haruki
    So do you actually put
    n
t sacks on your head?
[12:09] Mamekichi
    N-N-N-No way!
[12:11] Mamekichi
    If that was the case, my transformation
    scenes would need to be censored!
[12:15] Mamekichi
    Look! This was published in the year 2000!
[12:17] Mamekichi
    No wonder the information's old!
[12:19] Mamekichi
    We're in the 21st century now!
[12:20] Haruaki and Sano
    So you wore them until the 20th century?
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[12:24] Haruaki
    But I guess this dictionary
[12:26] Haruaki
    doesn't have an entry for a
    yakubyougami like you, Sano-kun.
[12:30] Mamekichi
    Not only is the information
    old, it's lacking!
[12:32] Mamekichi
    He's being left out!
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
    Girls' Dormitory
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
    Girls' Dormitory
SIGN    Zashiki
[12:45] Haruaki
    She's not answering.
[12:47] Mamekichi
    Hey! Don't worry! I have a plan!
[12:50] Haruaki
    A plan?
[12:51] Mamekichi
    Here I go! Transform!
[12:53] Mamekichi
    Mamekichi Slime! Mamime for short!
SIGN    A mamime draws near
[12:57] Mamekichi
    I'll infiltrate the keyhole
    and then open up the lock!
[13:01] Haruaki
    Amazing!
[13:02] Haruaki
    That's amazing, but that's almost a crime.
[13:04] Sano
    Pretty sure it's not "almost" a crime,
    but "very much" a crime.
SIGN    Keep Out
[13:08] Mamekichi
    Oh?
SIGN    Keep Out
[13:10] Haruaki
    Maizuka-kun!
[13:11] Sano
    Mamime takes 300 damage.
[13:14] Mamekichi
    I guess the door has youkai magic on it.
[13:17] Sano
    Mame!
SIGN    Zashiki
[13:20] Haruaki
    Hm? What's this?
SIGN    Leave. Otherwise I'm gonna
    make a social media account
    using your name and
    occupation and say all kinds
    of inflammatory things.
[13:23] Haruaki
    Talk about an insidious threat!
[13:26] Haruaki
    B-But a threat like this
    means nothing to me!
[13:30] Haruaki
    I'm pretty much socially
    dead to all of my students!
[13:34] Sano
    He's saying something so
    insecure with such confidence.
[13:39] Mamekichi
    Hey, it's from Hiji-tan.
[13:41] Mamekichi
    S-Seimei-kun, look!
SIGN     That time I was holed up at home and some
    annoying male teacher kept ringing my doorbell lol
    ▼0001 Anonymous Youkai 16:36:51.23
    An overly enthusiastic teacher? Someone's watching
    too many TV dramas lol
    ▼0002 Anonymous Youkai 16:37:18.45
    Lul
    ▼0003 Anonymous Youkai 16:37:32.37
    Rat them out to the PTA
    ▼0004 Anonymous Youkai 16:37:40.56
    He probably just wants to get into the girls' dorm.
    Let him have a pair of panties or something and he'll
    probably go away
    ▼0005 Anonymous Youkai 16:37:50.81
    Get audio of this and expose him
    ▼0006 Anonymous Youkai 16:38:13.16
    What's he saying?
    ▼0007 Anonymous Youkai 16:38:20.47
    Honestly, the one who let him into the dorm is a bigger
    issue than he is
[13:43] Mamekichi
    It says, "That time I was
    holed up at home and some
[13:45] Mamekichi
    annoying male teacher came to my door lol"
    on an internet message board.
[13:48] Sano
    Jeez... Youkai kids these days are
    so quick to put everything online.
[13:52] Haruaki
    How about I hole up myself?!
[13:54] Haruaki
    Zashiki-san, please open up!
[13:55] Haruaki
    I know you're in there!
[13:55] Beniko
    Yeah, yeah. Get lost, loser.
[13:58] Haruaki
    Zashiki-san! Open up!
[14:05] All
    What?!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[14:16] Mamekichi
    Was there just a sudden wind?
[14:19] Haruaki
    I don't know what happened, but lucky me!
[14:22] Haruaki
    Are you here, Zashiki-san?
[14:25] Haruaki
    There you are, Zashiki-san!
[14:27] Haruaki
    Hey, Zashiki-sa—
[14:28] Beniko
    Shut the hell up!
[14:30] Beniko
    I'm too busy saving the world from peril!
[14:32] Haruaki
    Oh, uh, sorry...
[14:35] Haruaki
    Er, huh? Saving the world from peril?
[14:39] Haruaki
    Are you... playing a game?
[14:41] Beniko
    It's not a game.
[14:43] Beniko
    The world behind this
    screen is my true reality.
[14:47] Beniko
    It's real.
[14:48] Beniko
    Wait, how the hell did you
    guys get into my room?
[14:51] Sano
    Just how detached from reality are you?
[14:54] Mamekichi
    Hey, is that the game
    Hiji-tan recommended to you?
[14:58] Beniko
    Yeah...
[14:59] (Flashback) Hijita
    Hey, Zashiki. This game's
    super fun. Wanna try it out?
[15:04] (Flashback) Beniko
    Really? Yeah, I'll totally borrow it.
[15:06] (Flashback) Hjita
    Wait... You beat it in one night?
[15:08] (Flashback) Beniko
    It was so fun that I couldn't stop.
[15:11] (Flashback) Hijita
    Well, the sequel's coming out next week.
[15:13] (Flashback) Beniko
    For real?!
[15:15] Beniko
    And then one thing led to
    another, and I became a gamer.
[15:19] Beniko
    Before I knew it, my days and nights were
    flipped, and I couldn't get up in the morning.
[15:24] All
    That's so stupid!
[15:26] Sano
    So, wait. It's Hijita's fault
    you became a shut-in?
[15:29] Haruaki
    I thought the reason would be more
    delicate and like a labyrinth to navigate...
[15:36] Haruaki
    I'm begging you! Please come to school!
[15:39] Haruaki
    I mean, you can't save
    the world or start over
[15:42] Haruaki
    if you mess up in school
    like you can in a game...
[15:46] Haruaki
    But I'm sure there are things at school
[15:49] Haruaki
    that you can't enjoy in a game!
    I'm sure of it!
[15:55] Beniko
    You should take your own advice
    and open your eyes to face reality.
[15:59] Beniko
    The reality that you're kowtowing
    and rubbing your head on
[16:01] Beniko
    a high schooler's underwear.
[16:04] Haruaki
    Y-Y-Y-You've got the wrong idea! Really!
[16:06] Haruaki
    I-I have no interest in sports bras!
[16:08] Beniko
    Shut your trap!
[16:12] Mamekichi
    Beniko-chan, come back to school.
[16:15] Beniko
    This teacher's made me
    want to go even less now.
[16:19] Mamekichi
    But Seimei-kun's a really good guy!
[16:21] Mamekichi
    Though he's kind of a loser and cries a lot.
[16:23] Haruaki
    Damn it! That's not a compliment at all!
[16:26] Haruaki
    Zashiki-san! You can be a shut-in
    when you become an adult,
[16:31] Haruaki
    but this is the only time you
    can be a high school student.
[16:33] Haruaki
    This is also the only time you'll
    be able to wear sailor uniforms!
[16:37] Haruaki
    I mean, you have pretty
    black hair, and you're cute!
[16:40] Haruaki
    I'd love to see you in a sailor uniform!
[16:47] Principal
    Now then, everyone. Make sure
    you do your best again today.
SIGN    Faculty Room
[16:56] Haruaki
    Zashiki-san said yesterday that she'd
    show up. I wonder if she really will!
[17:01] Miki
    Sir, that Haruaki Abe guy... Just who is he?
[17:07] Miki
    I can't imagine you'd hire a human
    just because you know his family.
[17:12] Principal
    Well... It was a thousand years ago.
[17:16] Principal
    Back when youkai were much
    more publicly out and about.
[17:22] Principal
    There was a very powerful human
    who could exterminate youkai
[17:25] Principal
    whenever they did anything bad.
[17:30] Principal
    Nowadays, we live in a much
    more human-based society,
[17:32] Principal
    so we aren't as out and about anymore.
[17:36] Principal
    But his ancestors inherited these powers
[17:39] Principal
    and are currently running a
    shrine as they protect the land.
SIGN    Abe Shrine
[17:44] Principal
    And the second son of that family—
[17:47] Principal
    the one who most strongly inherited
    these powers—is Haruaki Abe-kun.
[17:53] Principal
    It's true that if he's up against
    humans, he's quite weak.
[17:56] Principal
    But to us youkai, Haruaki-kun
    is a very powerful figure.
[18:04] Principal
    He might also be a great
    inspiration to the students.
[18:08] Principal
    I do wonder...
[18:10] Principal
    Will the fact that I invited him to our
    school work in our favor or will it not?
[18:14] Principal
    I'm excited to find out.
[18:17] Sano
    I see.
[18:19] Sano
    So that thing he did back there...
[18:22] Sano
    was his exorcism power.
[18:26] Sano
    How interesting.
[18:29] Mamekichi
    Morning, Seimei-kun!
[18:33] Mamekichi
    Aw, I'm sorry, Seimei-kun!
[18:36] Haruaki
    Oh, good morning, Maizuka-kun.
[18:39] Sano
    What're you doing?
SIGN    Super Cute
    Uniform Encyclopedia
SIGN    Super Cute
    Uniform Encyclopedia
[18:43] Haruaki
    Uh... The principal gave that to me!
[18:46] Haruaki
    It must've gotten mixed
    up in my school supplies!
[18:49] Haruaki
    It's my precious—
[18:50] Sano
    You perv.
[18:51] Mamekichi
    Don't worry, Seimei-kun.
[18:53] Mamekichi
    I promise I won't tell anyone.
[18:56] Haruaki
    Maizuka-kun's eyes look so kind.
[19:01] Beniko
    Hello? You guys are in the way.
[19:04] Haruaki
    Zashiki-san! You came!
[19:06] Haruaki
    Wow! That red hoodie looks
    great with your sailor uniform!
[19:17] Haruaki
    She's wearing pants under her skirt!
[19:21] Beniko
    Why do you look like some ghost in a photo?
[19:24] Haruaki
    Zashiki-san! Wearing pants underneath
    your skirt violates the dress code—
[19:28] Haruaki
    er, violates school rules!
[19:29] Beniko
    What?
[19:31] Sano
    Apparently he has a uniform fetish.
[19:35] Haruaki
    Wh-Why'd you say that, Sano-kun?
[19:37] Haruaki
    You just told me you wouldn't tell anyone...
[19:40] Haruaki
    Hey! What are you gonna do about this?!
[19:42] Haruaki
    Just look at all the girls
    looking at me like I'm trash!
[19:46] Sano
    What're you talking about?
    That's what they're doing.
[19:49] Sano
    Looking at trash.
[19:50] Haruaki
    That's so mean!
[19:51] Haruaki
    Why do you keep trying to throw
    me into the pits of misery?!
[19:56] Sano
    Well, I'm a yakubyougami.
    I feed off of human misery.
[20:00] Haruaki
    But that's...
[20:02] Hijita
    Hey.
[20:04] Hijita
    Sorry... for being mean to you and stuff.
[20:08] Haruaki
    Huh?
[20:10] Hijita
    I didn't think you'd actually
    get Zashiki to come to school.
[20:15] Hijita
    You're not bad.
[20:17] Haruaki
    Hijita-kun!
[20:21] Haruaki
    And so we, the members of Class 2-3...
[20:24] Kappa Photographer
    Okay, class. I'm taking the picture.
[20:27] Students
    Yeah!
[20:30] Haruaki
    ...were able to take our class photo
    with all 26 members present.
[20:36] Haruaki
    A lot happened, but I'm so glad we
    all got to take a photo as a class!
[20:41] Sano
    Well... I guess you did work hard.
[20:45] Haruaki
    A-A-A-Am I hearing things?!
    Sano-kun just complimented me!
[20:49] Sano
    Huh? Yeah, you're definitely hearing things.
[20:51] Haruaki
    I really was hearing things!
SIGN    Mandragora
    Garden
[21:02] Mandragoras
    Intruders! Kill them!
SIGN    Mandragora
    Garden
[21:04] Mandragoras
    Who are these guys?!
[21:07] Haruaki
    Ow...
[21:08] Haruaki
    What the heck? Zashiki-san came back to
    school, but I'm not being blessed at all!
[21:13] Beniko
    So that's what you were after.
[21:16] Haruaki
    Huh?
[21:17] Beniko
    Listen up, Seimei.
[21:19] Beniko
    Zashikiwarashi can be lucky or unlucky,
    depending on what they're wearing.
[21:24] Haruaki
    Huh?
[21:25] Beniko
    I'm wearing red right now, which means
     I'm a harbinger of misfortune.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[21:31] Small old Man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary!
[21:34] Small old man
    Zashikiwarashi live in human
    homes and cause mischief.
[21:37] Small old man
    When they're wearing red,
    they're harbingers of misfortune.
[21:41] Haruaki
    What?!
[21:43] Beniko
    To be around two youkai
    that bring misfortune...
[21:46] Beniko
    Your luck in general must really suck.
[21:49] Haruaki
    Huh? Two?
SIGN    Yakubyougami
[21:52] Haruaki
    In April, as the cherry blossoms danced,
[21:54] Haruaki
    I became the teacher I always
    wanted to be at Hyakki Academy,
[21:57] Haruaki
    with a class that's filled with youkai.
[22:02] Haruaki
    And I just had a student German suplex me.

Season 1

2 - Physical Exams Are Life-Threatening?!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:07] Haruaki
    My name is Haruaki Abe.
[00:10] Haruaki
    Due to a strange turn of
    events, I became a teacher
[00:14] Haruaki
    at a school filled with youkai
    on an island filled with youkai.
SIGN    Grammar
    <<Metaphor (Simile)>>
    Example: This sailor
    uniform is like silk
    <<Inverting sentences>>
    Example: I was scolded
    by Sano-kun.
[00:18] Haruaki
    I teach Japanese.
[00:21] Miki
    Abe-sensei,
[00:23] Miki
    it's only a little farther.
[00:27] Haruaki
    Today, I'm climbing.
SIGN    Shatter!
[00:32] Haruaki
    Ah... Miki-sensei, I just
    heard my heart shatter.
[00:36] Miki
    Well, glue it back together, then!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[02:19] Haruaki
    This is great!
SIGN    Episode 2
    "Physical Exams
    Are Life-Threatening?!"
[02:22] Haruaki
    Thank you so much for inviting me.
SIGN    Beer
SIGN    Eggs
[02:25] Miki
    I figured we should get to know each other
    better, now that we're coworkers.
[02:30] Miki
    Things were a bit hectic, so we didn't
     get to introduce ourselves properly.
[02:34] Miki
    The name's Miki. Pleasure to meet you.
[02:39] Haruaki
    Oh, right. Your class is
    right next door, right?
[02:43] Miki
    Shutendouji are oni, or ogre youkai.
[02:47] Miki
    Anyway, you don't need to be
    scared of me. Let's be friends.
[02:49] Haruaki
    Likewise!
[02:53] Miki
    This is Hatanaka-kun. He's in
    charge of student discipline.
[02:58] Haruaki
    It's a pleasure to meet you.
[03:05] Haruaki
    Um...
[03:06] Haruaki
    Hatanaka-sensei, what
    exactly are you doing?
[03:09] Hatanaka
    Nothing.
[03:11] Hatanaka
    Don't worry about it.
[03:15] Hatanaka
    By the way, Abe-sensei, we need
    to get an early start tomorrow.
[03:19] Hatanaka
    Make sure you don't oversleep.
[03:20] Haruaki
    Huh? Aren't the physical exams tomorrow?
[03:24] Haruaki
    Do we actually do something?
[03:26] Hatanaka
    Yes.
[03:27] Miki
    It's honestly pretty exhausting.
[03:29] Hatanaka
    Guiding the students and
    preparing the equipment...
[03:32] Hatanaka
    Welcoming the doctors traveling to
    the island... We do quite a bit.
[03:35] Miki
    Be careful, though.
[03:37] Miki
    Each year, at least one teacher
    ends up in the hospital.
[03:41] Haruaki
    From physical exams?!
[03:44] Hatanaka
    Anyway, just know that we'll be
    working you to the bone, Abe-sensei.
[03:50] Haruaki
    I'm already feeling it in my stomach...
SIGN    The Next Day
[03:56] Haruaki
    Once you've changed into your gym clothes,
[03:58] Haruaki
    please follow the teachers' instructions.
[04:01] Utagawa
    What if I've gained weight?
[04:03] Tamao
    What if I'm shorter?
[04:06] Haruaki
    They might be youkai,
    but they're still just teenagers.
SIGN    Eye Exam
    Listening Exam
    Dental Exam
[04:10] Odawara
    Wh-What if they tell me to use LED?
SIGN    Fear
[04:13] Yanagida
    What if I'm not 100% cotton anymore?
[04:16] Maizuka
    What if I'm not a tanuki anymore?!
[04:20] Haruaki
    Sorry... I can't help you with
    youkai-specific issues...
[04:24] Haruaki
    But you're 100% a tanuki,
    Maizuka-kun, so don't worry.
[04:31] Hatanaka
    Abe-sensei.
[04:33] Haruaki
    Oh, Hatanaka-sensei.
[04:35] Hatanaka
    I've already got a job for you.
[04:37] Hatanaka
    Please assist with the eye exams.
[04:40] Hatanaka
    First, go to the audiovisual room.
[04:41] Haruaki
    Oh, right. Got it.
[04:43] Hatanaka
    And when you get there, call this number.
[04:45] Haruaki
    But why?
[04:47] Hatanaka
    You'll find out when you get there! Now, go!
[04:49] Hatanaka
    No running in the hallway!
    Power-walk dash your way there!
[04:52] Haruaki
    Come on! This is ridiculous!
SIGN    Eye Exams
[04:59] Ren
    Up?
[05:01] Haruaki
    Up, he says.
[05:04] Haruaki
    And next?
[05:09] Ren
    Down?
SIGN    Eye
    Exams
[05:10] Haruaki
    Down, he says.
[05:22] Satou-sensei
    Down?
[05:24] Satou-sensei
    Up?
[05:26] Satou-sensei
    I see.
[05:27] Satou-sensei
    Okay, Nyuudou-kun.
[05:29] Satou-sensei
    Your vision is 130.0.
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
[05:31] Haruaki
    The scale's so different,
    I don't know if that's good or bad!
[05:36] Ren
    Damn it! I'm 0.5 lower than last year.
[05:39] Haruaki
    Um...
[05:40] Haruaki
    You just went from 130.5 to 130.0.
[05:44] Haruaki
    How does that possibly
    affect your daily life?
[05:49] Mandragora
    Hatanaka-sensei...
    The eye exams are done.
[05:54] Hatanaka
    You're late!
[05:56] Hatanaka
    The special exams are next!
[05:58] Hatanaka
    Take the cat and the tanuki from your class
    and go see Miki in the nurse's office!
[06:03] Hatanaka
    Go on! Power dash!
SIGN    Power Dash
[06:06] Haruaki
    He just abbreviated "power-walk dash!"
SIGN    Power-Walk
SIGN    Dash
SIGN    Power Dash
[06:09] Hatanaka
    Power dash!
[06:13] Haruaki
    I've brought the cat and tanuki!
[06:15] Miki
    Alrighty.
[06:17] Miki
    Okay, you two. Why don't you step in here?
[06:21] Miki
    I bet something good will happen.
[06:23] Tamao
    Why?
[06:28] Tamao and Mamekichi
    Huh?
[06:32] Miki
    This cage has talismans
    on it that seal spirit energy.
[06:36] Haruaki
    They're from my shrine.
[06:39] Haruaki
    S-Sorry about this. But you know,
[06:41] Haruaki
    we've got some doctors from off
    the island here to see you.
SIGN    Animal Youkai
    This Way
    Vaccines
[06:45] Takahashi
    Now, then... Time for some
    really, really fun shots.
[06:55] Mamekichi
    I don't want any shots! Seimei-kun!
[06:59] Tamao
    Corporal punishment!
    This is corporal punishment!
[07:05] Haruaki
    Huh? Nezumi-sensei, too?
[07:09] Miki
    All animal youkai will have to get these.
[07:16] Hatanaka
    Honestly... How can you be so scared
    of shots at your age? How dumb.
[07:22] Miki
    Now, hold on just a second.
[07:24] Miki
    You're getting one, too, Hatanaka-kun.
[07:30] Hatanaka
    Let me out!
[07:33] Hatanaka
    I don't need a shot!
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[07:37] Small old man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary!
[07:39] Small old man
    Kamaitachi use their sickle-like
    hands to cut people.
[07:45] Small old man
    Why's he like that, though?
[07:48] Hatanaka
    Hey! Are you listening to me?!
[07:48] Miki
    Okay, Sensei. I'm handing them off to you.
[07:52] Tamao
    You ogre! Demon!
[07:54] Nezumi-sensei
    You heartless teacher!
[07:55] Hatanaka
    Give me back the 3,000 I lent you before!
[08:00] Miki
    Takahashi-sensei.
[08:01] Takahashi
    Huh? Oh, right.
[08:04] Takahashi
    One of my surgeries this afternoon canceled,
[08:06] Takahashi
    so I don't mind doing some
    neutering. It'll be chop-chop.
SIGN    Surgery gloves
[08:13] Takahashi
    I'm just kidding. It was a joke.
SIGN    Surgery gloves
SIGN    Surgery gloves
[08:22] Haruaki
    Don't worry, Maizuka-kun.
[08:25] Haruaki
    It'll be over before you know it.
[08:26] Mamekichi
    But I'm scared!
[08:28] Mamekichi
    Seimei-kun! Talk to me to
    keep my mind off of it.
[08:32] Haruaki
    Okay, let's see...
[08:34] Haruaki
    Then...
[08:36] Haruaki
    It may be easier to brush me off
    as another uniform fetishist,
[08:39] Haruaki
    but in my case, it doesn't
    hit me anywhere, anytime.
[08:43] Haruaki
    It only hits me when my
    heart's in the right TPO.
[08:48] Mamekichi
    Literally no one asked about that!
[08:57] Haruaki
    Tanuki!
[09:01] Haruaki
    S-Sensei, am I going to be okay? I'm a human...
[09:06] Takahashi
    Oh, you'll be fine.
[09:09] Takahashi
    Just the other day, I tried this
    out on a human guinea pig—
[09:12] Takahashi
    On a human patient.
[09:14] Haruaki
    A guinea pig...
[09:16] Takahashi
    If you're that worried...
    want to take this one, too?
[09:21] Takahashi
    It's a new medicine I just created yesterday.
[09:27] Mandragora
    No!
[09:28] Haruaki
    I-It's finally over...
[09:31] Miki
    Come on. All that's left is getting
    the students' heights, so buck up.
[09:35] Haruaki
    I wanna go home...
[09:39] Haruaki
    So...
[09:43] Haruaki
    I have to climb up and
    get his measurements?
[09:45] Miki
    We're counting on you, Abe-sensei.
[09:50] Small old man
    Daidarabocchi are giant youkai.
[09:53] Small old man
    People say that they made
    mountains and lakes.
[09:58] Miki
    Go on. You're his homeroom teacher.
[10:00] Haruaki
    Couldn't you or Hatanaka-sensei do this?
[10:03] Miki
    Nope. Hatanaka-kun's definitely out.
[10:09] Haruaki
    It doesn't take much for him to lose heart...
[10:11] Haruaki
    L-Let's decide this fairly
    with rock-paper-scissors!
[10:13] Miki
    Uh...
[10:15] Haruaki
    Come on! Rock, paper, scissors...
[10:18] Mandragora
    ...shoot!
SIGN    And now, we're back at the beginning of the episode...
[10:23] Haruaki
    Dang it... why did I throw rock?
[10:28] Haruaki
    I was a fool to trust in rock!
[10:33] Haruaki
    Then again, I have some serious questions
    about how paper wins by covering rock...
[10:40] Haruaki
    Break through it, damn it!
[10:42] Haruaki
    What do you think, Oota-kun?
[10:44] Oota
    Er, I'm not sure what I can say about
    the rules of rock-paper-scissors...
[10:49] Miki
    Come on, now. Quit your complaining.
[10:52] Miki
    You're almost there.
[10:55] Haruaki
    I finally got to his ear!
[10:58] Miki
    Got it. Be careful.
[11:04] Haruaki
    Whew, that was a heck of a gust...
[11:09] Haruaki
    My Super Cute Uniform Encyclopedia!
[11:17] Haruaki
    No!
[11:17] Haruaki
    I decided a long time ago that when
    I died, it'd be inside a uniform!
[11:26] Sano
    What kind of way to die is that?
[11:29] Haruaki
    Sano-kun! What are you doing here?
[11:32] Sano
    These physical exams are a pain,
[11:34] Sano
    so I skipped them to nap
    on top of Oota's head.
[11:36] Haruaki
    You managed to climb onto his head?
[11:38] Haruaki
    You must be light on your feet.
[11:40] Sano
    Pretty much.
[11:41] Mandragora
    Heave-ho.
[11:43] Haruaki
    Hello? Miki-sensei?
    Oota-kun is 130 meters tall.
[11:47] Oota
    Huh? 130 meters?
[11:49] Oota
    Yay!
[11:52] Oota
    I finally beat the Ushiku Daibutsu statue!
SIGN    Ushiku Daibutsu
    A huge Daibutsu
    statue (120 m)
    that's in Ibaraki
    Prefecture and is
    in the Guinness
    Book of World
    Records.
[11:55] Small old man
    The Ushiku Daibutsu statue is a statue in
    Ibaraki Prefecture that's 120 meters tall.
[12:02] Haruaki
    Wow, that's some competition.
[12:04] Miki
    Well, I'm gonna go check on the other
    students. Be careful getting back down.
[12:09] Haruaki
    Huh?! I have to get down by myself?!
[12:12] Haruaki
    Stare...
[12:14] Sano
    What?
[12:15] Haruaki
    Carry me all the way down on your back.
[12:18] Sano
    I see. I'll kick your ass.
[12:21] Haruaki
    What the heck?
[12:22] Haruaki
    If I was Maizuka-kun,
    you'd be happy to take me down!
[12:26] Haruaki
    You'd be giving him VIP
    treatment with drink in hand!
[12:29] Sano
    What the hell are you talking about?
    There'd be a salad, too.
[12:34] Haruaki
    Wait, Sano-kun!
[12:36] Haruaki
    Hey, Sano-kun!
SIGN    Itch
SIGN    Itch
[12:47] Oota
    Sorry, Sensei. I sneezed.
[12:52] Oota
    Huh? He's gone. He sure got down fast.
[12:59] Miki
    Finally done!
[13:01] Hatanaka
    By the way, where's Abe-sensei?
[13:05] Mamekichi
    Sensei! Have you seen Sano-kun?
[13:08] Miki
    What? Sano-kun's missing, too?
[13:10] Hatanaka
    Honestly, where could they have gone?
[13:16] Sano
    Why is this happening to me?
[13:19] Sano
    This stuff always happens
    when you're around!
[13:22] Haruaki
    This isn't my fault!
[13:23] Sano
    Shut up! Stay away from me,
    you yakubyougami!
[13:26] Haruaki
    You're the yakubyougami!
[13:28] Sano
    Well, you're my yakubyougami!
[13:31] Haruaki
    No way...
[13:34] Principal
    You two!
[13:35] Haruaki
    S-Sorry, sir!
[13:37] Haruaki
    Um, I'll pay for the window I broke!
[13:40] Principal
    I see...
[13:43] Principal
    Then again...
[13:45] Principal
    That's not the kind of window that can be
    replaced with a teacher's puny monthly salary.
[13:49] Haruaki
    Huh? Er... huh?
[13:52] Principal
    Well, given this opportunity,
[13:55] Principal
    there's something I'd like you
    to do rather than pay for that.
[13:59] Haruaki
    Something you want me to do?
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[14:13] Haruaki
    So instead of paying for the window,
    I was asked to clean the pool, but...
SIGN    Around here.
[14:20] Oota
    I'm sorry. It's all because I sneezed.
[14:22] Haruaki
    No, it's okay.
[14:24] Haruaki
    Anyway, you can shrink
    down to this size, Oota-kun?
[14:28] Oota
    Oh, yes. I can.
[14:31] Ren
    Why do I have to go, too?
[14:33] Tamao
    Oh, come on. It's more
    fun with you, Ren-Ren!
[14:36] Mamekichi
    I'm gonna swim the butterfly!
[14:38] Hijita
    Then I'm gonna do an Ina Bauer!
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
    Outdoor Pool
[14:42] Haruaki
    Did any of you even know
    our school had a pool?
[14:46] Hijita
    Until last year, we had classes in the ocean.
[14:49] Oota
    We can't go into the ocean this year, though.
[14:52] Haruaki
    Really?
[14:53] Oota
    Yeah. Because it got hot
    earlier than usual this year,
[14:56] Oota
    a bunch of umibouzu appeared
    in the swimming area.
[15:01] Haruaki
    Oh, come on. They're not
    jellyfish or anything.
[15:05] Little old man
    Umibouzu are youkai that live in the ocean.
[15:07] Little old man
    They sink ships and stuff.
[15:11] Sano
    Hey, isn't that it?
[15:13] Haruaki
    You're right.
[15:17] Haruaki
    Th-This is...
[15:23] Haruaki
    What is this? It's basically abandoned!
[15:25] Hijita
    This is gonna take more than a cleaning.
    It needs a full makeover.
[15:32] Haruaki
    The pool water's dirty, too.
[15:34] Ren
    That's putting it lightly...
[15:36] Ren
    There's literally miasma coming from it.
[15:38] Haruaki
    It's basically the entrance
    to the underworld!
[15:42] Haruaki
    A-Anyway...
[15:43] Haruaki
    Let's dump this water.
[15:45] Sano
    Can we actually dump it?
[15:47] Sano
    I feel like it'd destroy nature...
[15:50] Haruaki
    Well... nature created it...
    and it's going back to nature.
[15:55] Hijita
    All right. I'll go drain it.
[15:57] Sano
    Hey, it's wet around the pool, so it's dange—
[16:02] Tamao
    Hijita fell into the poisonous swamp!
SIGN    Sizzle...
[16:09] Tamao
    He's dead! He's definitely dead!
    I heard some melting!
[16:13] Oota
    Hijita-kun!
[16:14] Haruaki
    No!
[16:17] Sano
    Like a mud youkai would melt and die.
[16:19] Ren
    Pretty much.
[16:25] Hijita
    That really sucked.
[16:26] Haruaki
    Oh, thank goodness you're alive...
SIGN    Whew...
SIGN    Whew...
[16:33] Hijita
    Good grief. Gosh, that was a close one.
[16:37] All
    H-Hijita!
[16:41] Tamao
    This is bad!
[16:42] Tamao
    Hijita's design and personality
    have been completely redone!
[16:46] Sano
    This goes beyond aesthetics. It's just gross.
[16:48] Sano
    Why the hell is he blonde?
[16:52] Ren
    Oh, fine.
[16:54] Ren
    We just gotta accept that Hijita's dead and
    do something about the poisonous swamp.
[16:58] Ren
    Got it?
[17:00] Haruaki
    O-Okay. This time, let's actually drain it.
[17:03] Tamao
    Even if we drained and cleaned this
    pool, I don't think I'd want to...
[17:07] Mamekichi
    S-Save me!
[17:08] Kappas
    Heave-ho. Heave-ho. Heave-ho.
[17:10] Haruaki
    What the hell are those?! Kappa?!
[17:12] Little old man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary!
[17:14] Little old man
    Kappa are youkai that live in rivers.
[17:17] Little old man
    They love cucumbers and causing mischief.
[17:19] Kappa
    Kappamaki!
[17:20] Ren
    They're trying to drag Mame
    into the poisonous swamp!
[17:23] Tamao
    Forget the cleaning!
[17:26] Kappa
    Heave-ho. Heave-ho. Heave-ho.
[17:26] Haruaki
    They're so strong!
[17:28] Mamekichi
    No! I'm gonna end up like Hiji-tan, too!
[17:32] Mamekichi
    I'll turn into a really tall, handsome guy!
[17:35] Mamekichi
    Save me, Sano-kun!
[17:55] Sano
    Mame, are you okay?
[17:57] Mamekichi
    Sano-kun!
[18:00] Sano
    Forget being tall. You look best like this.
[18:00] Mamekichi
    I was so scared!
[18:04] Ren
    Dude, you're way scarier than the kappa!
[18:09] Kappa
    Don't get cocky just because
    you beat us, ignorant fools.
[18:14] Haruaki
    Hey, it spoke!
[18:15] Tamao
    Who're you callin' ignorant fools, huh?!
[18:17] Kappa
    Sorry!
[18:19] Kappa
    But you see, in this pool...
[18:21] Kappa
    our master still awaits.
[18:24] Haruaki
    Huh?
[18:38] Haruaki
    It's a giant human-faced fish!
[18:43] Small old man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary!
[18:45] Small old man
    A human-faced fish, as its name suggests,
[18:48] Small old man
    is literally a fish with a human face.
[18:50] Human-faced fish
    Hello, I am the master here.
[18:53] Human-faced fish
    Now, foolish youkai...
[18:56] Human-faced fish
    if you want to clean this pool,
    you'll have to defeat me first!
[19:00] Haruaki
    Why, though?!
[19:02] Human-faced fish
    We can't have you puny youkai who can't even
[19:07] Human-faced fish
    defeat a single fish
    entering this holy place.
[19:13] Tamao
    You've got some nerve to keep yappin'!
[19:15] Tamao
    You dumb fish, pickin' a fight with a cat!
[19:19] Tamao
    Bring it!
[19:20] Tamao
    I'll fillet you myself, you fish bastard!
[19:27] Tamao
    Oh, no.
[19:29] Haruaki
    Hey! He just nommed him!
[19:30] Ren
    T-Tamao!
[19:32] Oota
    Nyuudou-kun, it's dangerous
    to get any closer!
[19:37] Human-faced fish
    Don't worry. You can have a tearful
    reunion in my belly soon enough!
[19:42] Haruaki
    Oh, no! It's attacking us!
[19:44] Sano
    Isn't he just hungry?
[19:46] Haruaki
    Wh-Wh-What do we do?!
[19:49] Sano
    We don't need to waste
    our time with these guys.
[20:00] Sano
    Oota, you'd be able to catch
    this guy, wouldn't you?
[20:04] Oota
    Oh, right. Hi-yah!
[20:14] Oota
    Yay! I caught it!
[20:17] Haruaki
    Talk about a pathetic master.
[20:19] Human-faced fish
    Now that it's come to this,
    there's nothing more we can do.
[20:24] Human-faced fish
    Stew us, grill us. Do as you please.
[20:25] Kappa
    Oh, Master...
[20:28] Kappa
    Oh, I'm quite delicious as sashimi.
[20:31] Oota
    Uh... I don't think I'm gonna be eating you.
[20:35] Mamekichi
    Hup. Hey, master guy.
[20:37] Mamekichi
    Why don't you come to the biology club?
[20:39] Mamekichi
    You can stay in a gorgeous tank
    with three meals and naptime!
[20:42] Mamekichi
    There's a girl human-faced fish, too,
    and we'll change your water frequently.
[20:47] Mamekichi
    You kappa can come, too.
[20:48] Kappa
    Woo-hoo!
[20:50] Mamekichi
    What do you say?
[20:58] Human-faced fish
    Well, living together in
    harmony is important.
[21:01] Haruaki
    Wow, the master is weak-willed.
[21:05] Haruaki
    Now that the master is gone,
    let's get this cleaning done.
[21:08] All
    Yeah!
[21:10] Haruaki
    By the way, Oota-kun, this whole time...
[21:13] Haruaki
    your feet have been in the
    poisonous swamp. You okay?
[21:16] Oota
    Huh? Um...
[21:20] Oota
    It's hot!
[21:21] Haruaki
    Is it hot?!
[21:23] Oota
    It's hot!
[21:27] Haruaki
    Hey, wait...
[21:34] Haruaki
    Um, so yeah...
[21:38] Haruaki
    For now, please settle for this...
SIGN    Sorry
[21:41] Haruaki
    plastic pool.
[21:43] Principal
    Absolutely not. I'm docking
    your pay, you fool.
[21:51] Haruaki
    And so, this year's swimming
    classes were canceled.
[21:59] Haruaki
    Also, later on...
[22:01] Haruaki
    The master was indeed taken
    in by the biology club.
[22:06] Mamekichi
    Good for you, Master!

Season 1

3 - Panic! In Miki-sensei's Youkai Studies Class!!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] Haruaki
    Observe your class?
[00:06] Haruaki
    Can I?!
[00:07] Miki
    Yes. Youkai studies covers youkai
    history and how we live.
[00:12] Miki
    We learn everything currently
    known about youkai.
[00:15] Miki
    Essentially, it's social studies with youkai.
[00:17] Miki
    I figured you'd end up an even better teacher
[00:20] Miki
    if you learned more about
    youkai in that class.
[00:23] Haruaki
    Even better... I'd love that!
    I want to be an even better teacher!
[00:29] Miki
    Then I'll go ahead and ask
    the principal about it.
[00:32] Miki
    I'll put in a good word for you.
[00:34] Haruaki
    Thank you very much!
[00:36] Miki
    Well, you've got a class to teach,
    don't ya? Get a move on.
[00:40] Haruaki
    Right!
[00:41] Hatanaka
    No running in the hallways!
[00:43] Haruaki
    Oh, right!
[00:45] Nezumi-sensei
    It's quite amazing.
[00:48] Nezumi-sensei
    I'm surprised you can both talk
    to Abe-sensei. You're not scared?
[00:53] Hatanaka
    Scared?
[00:54] Nezumi
    Well, considering what the
    principal told us... you know.
[00:58] Satou-sensei
    The last thing we want is him
    accidentally exorcising us.
[01:01] Miki
    You morons.
[01:04] Miki
    Him having such tremendous power...
[01:09] Miki
    is exactly why we want to tame him.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Class 2-3
[02:42] Miki
    So on that note...
SIGN    Episode 3
    "Panic! In Miki-sensei's
    Youkai Studies Class!!"
[02:44] Miki
    Your homeroom teacher, Abe-sensei,
    is gonna be observing the class today.
[02:48] Haruaki
    I-I've still got a lot to learn,
    so please be patient with me.
[02:52] Sano
    Miki and Seimei... I don't like this duo.
[02:55] Akisame
    I definitely don't want a repeat of
    what happened in our first year.
[02:59] Haruaki
    Everyone looks really anxious...
[03:02] Haruaki
    Is the youkai studies class that hard?
[03:04] Miki
    There might be topics humans aren't
    aware of, but it's not all that difficult.
[03:08] Miki
    Why don't you stand behind
    everyone, Abe-sensei?
[03:11] Haruaki
    Sure.
[03:12] Miki
    And the rest of you can hand in the
    homework I gave you last week.
[03:15] Both
    Huh?!
[03:17] Mujina
    Hey, Nyuudou. Did we even have any homework?
[03:19] Nyuudou
    Hey, Sensei! Mujina said
    he forgot his homework!
[03:22] Mujina
    Don't go ratting me out like that, you jerk!
[03:25] Miki
    Then we'll just have you
    stay after school to do it.
[03:29] Mujina
    This is all your fault!
[03:30] Nyuudou
    It's your own fault for forgetting.
[03:34] Hijita
    You foolish afro. Why would
    you go admitting that now?
[03:38] Hijita
    This is what you're supposed to
    do in situations like this...
[03:41] Hijita
    Sir! Sir, Sir, Sir, Sir!
[03:43] Hijita
    Sensei! I did my homework,
    but I forgot to bring it.
[03:47] Miki
    In that case, head over
    to your dorm and get it.
[03:49] Miki
    The round trip should take
    about fifteen minutes.
[03:53] Miki
    Let's get class started, then.
[03:56] Hijita
    Wait, what?
[03:57] Small Old Man
    There's no turning back for Hijita-kun now!
[04:00] Miki
    All right. We'll begin on
    page 18 of your textbooks,
[04:03] Miki
    "The Types of Youkai and Their
    Changes in Modern Times."
[04:07] Haruaki
    Wow! Miki-sensei's amazing!
[04:10] Haruaki
    He's so resolute!
[04:11] Haruaki
    The best I can do is cry and
    beg them to do something.
[04:15] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Akisame-kun! Please do
    your homework tomorrow!
[04:19] Akisame
    Fine! I'll do it, okay?! Just let
    go of me! Everyone's staring!
SIGN    Humanoid Youkai
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Animal Youkai
[04:24] Miki
    You can broadly categorize youkai like so.
SIGN    Humanoid Youkai
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Animal Youkai
[04:28] Miki
    Though nowadays, most youkai
    disguise themselves as humans
SIGN    Humanoid Youkai
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Animal Youkai
SIGN    Humanoid Youkai
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Animal Youkai
SIGN    Inorganic Youkai
[04:32] Miki
    to make it easier to live in
    the advancing human society.
[04:35] Haruaki
    Oh, I see!
[04:37] Haruaki
    There are all sorts of youkai out there!
[04:40] Haruaki
    Wait...
[04:41] Haruaki
    I wonder which kind Sano-kun is.
[04:45] Haruaki
    He'd be so cute if he turned into
    a little animal like Maizuka-kun.
[04:52] Sano
    Don't stare at me from behind. It's annoying.
SIGN    Can't Use Youkai Magic
SIGN    Action Type
[04:55] Miki
    Among the ones who can use youkai magic,
[04:58] Miki
    there's the action type that
    do specific movements,
SIGN    Will Type
SIGN    Can't Use Youkai Magic
[05:01] Miki
    the ones who look like they
    can use youkai magic but can't,
SIGN    Can't Use Youkai Magic
SIGN    Will Type
SIGN    Can't Use Youkai Magic
SIGN    Will Type
[05:05] Miki
    and the ones that are hardest
    to deal with: the will type.
SIGN    Can't Use Youkai Magic
SIGN    Will Type
[05:09] Miki
    They use their youkai magic
    with a single thought.
[05:13] Haruaki
    Excuse me, sir! I have a question!
[05:15] Haruaki
    Why are they the hardest to deal with?
[05:17] Miki
    Because, unlike your actions,
[05:18] Miki
    you can't always control your own heart.
[05:22] Miki
    Getting pissed off and
    causing a huge issue
[05:26] Miki
    with their youkai magic unexpectedly
    isn't that uncommon.
[05:31] Miki
    I'm an action type, just like
    Maizuka-kun and the others.
[05:34] Miki
    Drinking sake gives me spirit
    energy to use youkai magic.
[05:37] Miki
    Why don't I show you how
    it's done real quick?
SIGN    Fire
[05:40] Yanagida
    N-No, that's okay!
[05:42] Odawara
    R-Remember? We saw last year!
[05:44] Haruaki
    Really? I'd love to see!
[05:49] Muujina
    Shut up!
[05:49] Akisame
    I'll rip off that dumb cowlick of yours!
[05:51] Yanagida
    Don't make us hang you!
[05:53] Miki
    Now, now, it'll just be a little bit.
[06:01] Miki
    Just like this, the sake becomes
    the source of my spirit energy,
[06:04] Miki
    and I end up with otherworldly strength,
    just like an oni should have.
[06:08] Miki
    For example...
[06:14] Miki
    You hear me, you little shits?!
SIGN    Hijita
     Nyuudou
[06:17] Small Old Man
    Meanwhile, Hiji-tan was...
[06:19] Hijita
    All right! I found the homework printout!
[06:22] Hijita
    And of course, I didn't actually do it!
[06:25] Hijita
    I just need to finish it, no matter what!
[06:27] Small Old Man
    ...carrying out a lonesome battle
    all alone without anyone knowing.
SIGN    Class 2-3
[06:34] Sano
    Miki's a real awful drunk,
[06:36] Sano
    even though he can't use
    youkai magic without sake.
[06:39] Haruaki
    What? Really?
[06:40] Sano
    Last year, he spent half a day destroying
    half the school until he sobered up.
[06:46] Haruaki
    I'm surprised he hasn't been fired.
[06:50] Akisame
    I had a feeling this would happen ever
    since you came to observe the class!
[06:54] Miki
    Shut your traps! We're in the middle of class!
[06:56] Miki
    Quiet down, you little jerks!
[07:02] Nyuudou
    I'm gonna go get another teacher!
[07:04] Miki
    Hey, Nyuudou! Where d'ya think you're goin'?
[07:06] Miki
    Class is still in session.
[07:08] Miki
    You ain't allowed to boycott class!
[07:13] Fujihira
    An orange juice bomb!
[07:15] Odawara
    Is this grade school bullying?!
[07:16] Beniko
    More importantly, why did he
    bring cucumbers and oranges?
[07:20] Small Old Man
    Mujina-kun feels like Nyuudou-kun
    got what he deserves.
[07:23] Miki
    Oh, that's right. While we're at it,
    you should show us, too, Abe-sensei.
[07:28] Haruaki
    Sh-Show you what? My pay stub?
[07:30] Miki
    You moron!
[07:31] Miki
    Don't play dumb with me!
[07:33] Miki
    I know who you are!
[07:35] Miki
    When you deal with youkai, you—
[07:41] Sano
    Seimei! Do the thing!
[07:42] Haruaki
    What thing?!
[07:44] Sano
    You have the power to exorcise demons!
[07:47] Sano
    Use that!
[07:49] Haruaki
    Wait, really? I'm that amazing?
[07:52] Sano
    You didn't even realize it?
[07:54] Haruaki
    I mean, my family does run a shrine...
[07:56] Haruaki
    But all I ever did was sell
    talismans at the shrine office.
[07:59] Sano
    Just shut up and give it a try!
[08:01] Sano
    Miki gets his spirit energy from sake.
[08:04] Sano
    So if you use your exorcism powers
    to cleanse Miki's spirit energy,
[08:07] Sano
    it should...
[08:08] Haruaki
    I see!
[08:09] Haruaki
    I'm still not entirely sure if
    I have powers like that, but...
[08:13] Haruaki
    Okay, I'll give it a try.
[08:15] Haruaki
    Prepare yourself! This is for
    Akisame-kun and Nyuudou-kun!
[08:18] Both
    Don't just randomly kill us off!
[08:21] Hatanaka
    What's that ruckus...
[08:27] Hatanaka
    Gah! Rintarou!
[08:29] Hatanaka
    Damn it! Did you drink again?!
[08:31] Miki
    Come on, now. Stop teasin' me and show me!
[08:35] Haruaki
    Eek! You sound like some pervy old guy!
[08:37] Hatanaka
    Hey! Rintarou! You idiot!
[08:40] Haruaki
    W-Wait! Wait, wait!
[08:41] Hatanaka
    Hey, stop that!
[08:44] Hatanaka
    Hey! Are you listening to me, Rintarou?!
[08:46] Haruaki
    I'm gonna fall!
[08:47] Hatanaka
    Stop!
[08:48] Haruaki
    Wh-What the heck?!
[08:49] Haruaki
    I don't have any exorcism powers at all!
[08:52] Haruaki
    I knew I didn't have any powers like that!
[08:55] Sano
    It's do or die!
[08:57] Sano
    Seimei!
[08:58] Sano
    Zashiki says she'll take off the pants
    under her uniform if you do it!
[09:02] Haruaki
    What?!
[09:03] Beniko
    What the hell are you
    saying at a time like this?!
[09:06] Haruaki
    That's right! He's right!
[09:08] Haruaki
    Until I see Zashiki-san wearing her
    uniform without pants underneath...
[09:12] Haruaki
    There's no way I can die!
[09:14] Haruaki
    ...no way I can die!
[09:15] Haruaki
    ...no way I can die!
[09:16] Haruaki
    ...no way I can die!
[09:17] Haruaki
    ...no way I can...
[09:21] Principal
    Now, this is quite a show.
SIGN    Class 2-3
[09:26] Hijita
    See?! I told you I did my homework!
[09:29] Hijita
    Er... Did something happen?
[09:31] Small Old Man
    And so, with Haruaki's exorcism powers,
[09:34] Small Old Man
    he was able to safely stop
    Rintarou Miki's outburst.
[09:40] Sano
    I never thought you'd exorcise all
    the spirit energy in the school.
[09:43] Haruaki
    Yeah, that was pretty shocking.
[09:45] Sano
    Take this seriously.
[09:47] Haruaki
    Oh, but Sano-kun...
[09:50] Haruaki
    I'd like you to keep my powers
    and family a secret from the class.
[09:56] Sano
    Huh? Why?
[09:58] Haruaki
    I mean... everyone would be afraid of me
    if they knew I had that kind of power.
[10:05] Haruaki
    I just want to enjoy a great
    school life with everyone.
[10:10] Haruaki
    And enjoy a lovely youth—
[10:12] Marshmallow
    Hey, you jerk! I didn't get
    enough water over here!
[10:15] Mandragora 1
    Hey, numbnuts! Take better care of us!
[10:17] Noriko
    Don't underestimate us!
[10:20] Haruaki
    Wah! Right when I was trying
    to say something profound!
[10:25] Haruaki
    Come on! Stop that!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[10:35] Hijita
    Come on, Nyuudou! Please!
[10:37] Hijita
    Show me your notes!
[10:40] Hijita
    Otherwise, I'm gonna be
    screwed on my midterms!
[10:42] Hijita
    I won't ask for anything again!
[10:43] Nyuudou
    You're too damn loud this
    early in the morning, Hijita.
[10:46] Nyuudou
    I've heard your "I won't ask for anything
    again!" at least a hundred times.
[10:49] Nyuudou
    Go die a hundred times and try again.
[10:51] Hijita
    Please! Just this once!
[10:53] Hijita
    I'll lick your shoes or even
    the soles of your feet!
[10:56] Nyuudou
    Only someone like Sano
    would like that, you moron.
[10:58] Hijita
    Please! I beg of you, Nyuudou-sama! Please!
[11:03] Nyuudou
    Ugh! Okay, fine!
[11:05] Nyuudou
    But if you keep being this stupid,
[11:07] Nyuudou
    you're gonna end up like a certain
    stupid homeroom teacher—
[11:10] Haruaki
    Who exactly...
[11:11] Haruaki
    are you talking about? Hmm?
[11:16] Haruaki
    You don't have to get that scared.
[11:18] Hijita
    Don't show up like some horror movie
    scene so early in the morning!
[11:22] Nyuudou
    What're you doing out here, anyway?
[11:25] Haruaki
    Huh? What am I doing?
SIGN    Student Disciplinary
    Committee
[11:26] Haruaki
    This.
[11:27] Both
    The disciplinary committee?!
[11:29] Haruaki
    Yeah. You know how I observed
    Miki-sensei's class the other day?
[11:33] Haruaki
    Today, I'm helping Hatanaka-sensei as a
    part of the student disciplinary committee
[11:37] Haruaki
    so I can become a better teacher and improve
    my communication with the students.
[11:41] Haruaki
    But I'm not sure just how
    to discipline all of you.
[11:48] Nyuudou
    Here's someone you can practice on right now.
[11:51] Haruaki
    Oh, Sano-kun.
[11:52] Nyuudou
    Yup. He's clearly breaking the
    school rules with his hair.
[11:55] Haruaki
    What?! That's not Sano-kun's
    natural hair color?
[11:59] Haruaki
    Hey, you delinquent!
[12:00] Haruaki
    I'm gonna discipline you! Prepare yourself!
[12:06] Sano
    So what the hell are you doing?
[12:08] Haruaki
    It's true! His roots are slightly black!
[12:12] Nyuudou
    He's trying to discipline
    students on their way to school.
[12:14] Sano
    Oh, I see.
[12:16] Sano
    That's why he was talking about my hair.
[12:18] Sano
    But I ain't gonna change it.
[12:20] Haruaki
    Huh? Really?
[12:22] Sano
    It doesn't look good?
[12:23] Haruaki
    No! It looks great!
[12:25] Sano
    Then it's fine, right?
[12:26] Haruaki
    True!
[12:27] Haruaki
    I see. I guess it's okay
    if it looks good on you.
[12:30] Haruaki
    Okay, no problem here.
[12:32] Hatanaka
    Of course it's a problem, you moron!
[12:36] Hatanaka
    Seriously, just how bad
    are you at disciplining?
[12:39] Haruaki
    Hatanaka-sensei! I'm sowwy!
[12:42] Both
    It grew back!
[12:43] Beniko
    Hey, what are you yelling
    about so early in the morning?
[12:47] Mamekichi
    Oh? You're up early, Beniko-chan.
[12:50] Beniko
    I stayed up all night gaming
    and then came straight to school.
[12:53] Beniko
    I swear, defeating that horde
    of creatures was the worst.
[12:57] Haruaki
    Zashiki-san!
[12:59] Haruaki
    Wearing pants under your uniform is—
[13:03] Beniko
    Ugh! I guess there was
    still one creature left!
[13:07] Nyuudou
    Zashiki. You're not exactly wrong,
    but that's our homeroom teacher.
[13:11] Beniko
    Seriously?!
[13:12] Haruaki
    I'm not letting you get away
    with those pants today!
[13:15] Haruaki
    I'm gonna rip them off you!
[13:17] Yamazaki
    Oh, really?
[13:18] Haruaki
    Huh?
[13:20] Yamazaki
    Why don't we have a nice,
    long chat back at the station?
[13:21] Haruaki
    No, wait! You've got the wrong idea! Really!
[13:26] Hijita
    Did you bring it?
[13:28] Beniko
    But of course.
[13:29] Hijita
    I'm excited to play the new one—
[13:31] Hatanaka
    And... I'll be taking these!
[13:38] Miki
    The questions for the midterms are ready!
[13:40] Miki
    I pulled two all-nighters
    making them! Praise me!
[13:43] Hatanaka
    Like hell I will! The other teachers
    finished making theirs a week ago!
[13:48] Hatanaka
    All right. I've gotta lock
    these up in the safe, too.
[13:51] Hijita
    Damn it, Hatanaka... I can't believe
    he already took those from us.
[13:55] Beniko
    I mean, if we look like we feel bad,
    I'm sure we'll get them back quick.
SIGN    Faculty Room
[14:00] Haruaki
    What? You're putting them in the safe?
[14:06] Haruaki
    This is that serious?
[14:09] Hijita
    Those are our game consoles!
[14:11] Hatanaka
    Yeah. We're going to keep them in
    the safe until next week's tests.
[14:16] Beniko
    They're gonna keep them that long?!
[14:19] Miki
    Every single time, there's some idiot student
[14:22] Miki
    who tries to use their
    youkai magic to steal them.
[14:25] Hatanaka
    And it's on us, the teachers, if they do.
[14:27] Miki
    Well, anyone that reckless
    is definitely gonna regret it.
SIGN    Class 2-3
[14:38] Nyuudou
    Hey, Mame. You actually studying for once?
[14:41] Mamekichi
    Yup! I'm gonna strive to
    be a genius starting today!
[14:43] Nyuudou
    Good for you.
[14:44] Sano
    Okay, question five: What happened
    at Sekigahara in the year 1600?
SIGN    Japanese
    History
[14:49] Mamekichi
    Hmm... A flea market?
SIGN    Japanese
    History
[14:52] Sano
    Er... A hint is "the blank of Sekigahara."
SIGN    Japanese
    History
SIGN    Japanese
    History
[14:55] Hijita
    It's time to battle!
[14:57] Sano
    Yup. Correct.
[14:59] Sano
    So, what happened?
[15:01] Hijita
    Those jerks plan to keep our
    gaming consoles for over a week!
[15:05] Sano
    That's pretty long.
[15:07] Ogata Twins
    Hey, Hijita. Is that true?
[15:10] Hijita
    The Ogata Twins!
[15:11] Ogata Hikari
    We got our phones taken by
    Hatanaka this morning, too.
[15:15] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Quit looking at these during school!
[15:17] Ogata Hayashi
    Isn't that mean? We were just
    reading manga during the break.
[15:21] Hijita
    That's awful. So what were you reading?
SIGN    Rokurou
    Umibouzu
[15:24] Twins
    A youkai porn manga.
[15:26] Twins
    The Nure Onna's Wet Spot.
SIGN    The Nure Onna's Wet Spot
SIGN    The Nure Onna's Wet Spot
[15:27] Both
    Don't read that at school!
[15:30] Hijita
    All right!
[15:31] Hijita
    The four of us are gonna sneak into the
    faculty room tonight and get our stuff back!
[15:34] Hijita + Ogata Twins + Zashiki
    Yeah!
[15:36] Sano
    Mame.
[15:38] Sano
    Don't end up like them. Study hard.
[15:41] Mamekichi
    Okay.
[15:48] Hijita
    Opening it now.
[15:52] Hijita
    Okay, it's open.
[15:53] Beniko
    This is sorta like a test of
    courage. I'm getting excited!
[15:57] Hikari
    And the school is so creepy at night.
[15:59] Hijita
    What are you talking about? We're youkai.
[16:02] Hijita
    We can't have the scary guys get scared—
[16:07] Haruaki
    Wait! Don't hit me! It's me!
[16:10] Haruaki
    Sorry about that.
[16:12] Haruaki
    I thought you were robbers,
    so I thought I'd scare you off.
SIGN    Haruaki
[16:15] Twins
    Not sure if you scared any robbers,
    but you definitely scared a dorotabou.
SIGN    Dorotabou
SIGN    Dorotabou
SIGN    Dorotabou
[16:19] Haruaki
    Oh, I see. You just forgot
    something in the classroom.
SIGN    Faculty Room
[16:23] Haruaki
    But... all four of you?
[16:24] Hijita + Ogata Twins + Zashiki
    Yes, all four of us!
[16:25] Haruaki
    One sec. The classroom's locked.
[16:28] Hijita
    Hey, are you the only one on patrol tonight?
[16:31] Haruaki
    Yup, I am.
[16:32] Beniko
    Oh, I see.
[16:34] Hijita
    We weren't planning to
    get caught by a teacher,
[16:37] Hijita
    but we're lucky that we
    got into the faculty room.
[16:41] Hijita
    Now to just defeat Seimei and get
    our gaming consoles and phones back!
[16:45] Haruaki
    Oh, there it is.
[16:51] Hijita
    What's with this cage? I can't move.
[16:54] Hayashi
    It's covered with talismans
    that seal spirit energy.
[16:58] Hijita
    Wait a minute.
[16:59] Hijita
    Did he actually plan this from the start?!
[17:03] Hijita
    Impossible!
SIGN    Evilaki
[17:04] Hijita
    Seimei doesn't have any
    humanly wisdom or guts—
[17:09] Hijita
    Wait, those are...
[17:12] Hijita
    Three kinds of uniforms?!
[17:14] Hatanaka
    Well done, my guard dog.
[17:16] Hatanaka
    Er, I mean, Abe-sensei.
[17:18] Hijita
    Y-You guys...
[17:20] Hatanaka
    I knew you'd show up, you thieves.
[17:22] Miki
    Did you really think we didn't
    take any security measures?
SIGN    Mamekichi Maizuka
    Mikoto Sano
[17:27] Small old man
    Meanwhile, Sano-kun was...
[17:30] Sano
    Mame, are you still studying?
[17:32] Mamekichi
    Yup. My goal is to get a score
    higher than 5 on my next test.
SIGN    
    Consumed
    by desire
SIGN    Explain the
    meaning of
    the following
    proverbs:
[17:38] Mamekichi
    Hey, what does this mean?
[17:40] Sano
    Oh, it's someone who takes action
    solely for their desires.
[17:44] Mamekichi
    I see! This is talking about Seimei-kun!
[17:46] Mamekichi
    I just got a little smarter!
[17:49] Sano
    I mean, in his case... he doesn't do
    anything unless it's for his desires.
SIGN    Evilaki
[17:53] Haruaki
    All right, it's time to discipline you.
[17:57] Hikari
    Little Bro!
[17:58] Hayashi
    Aye-aye.
[18:05] Haruaki
    The talismans aren't working?!
[18:06] Hikari
    Too bad.
[18:08] Hayashi
    Your tricks to seal
    away youkai spirit energy
[18:10] Hayashi
    won't work on us, the Fuujin and Raijin.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[18:13] Small old man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary!
[18:15] Small old man
    The Fuujin and Raijin are youkai that
    control wind and lightning, respectively.
[18:20] Small old man
    They were originally gods,
[18:22] Small old man
    but during the Edo period, they spread
    a lot of disasters and diseases,
[18:26] Small old man
    so they were kicked out of the
    kingdom of the gods, Takamagahara,
[18:29] Small old man
    and became youkai.
[18:31] Haruaki
    Wow... I guess you weren't originally youkai.
[18:34] Hijita
    Damn it! We need to retreat
    for now! Just you wait!
[18:37] Hatanaka
    Hey! They ran away!
[18:38] Miki
    Abe-sensei, we're going after them.
[18:40] Haruaki
    R-Right!
[18:41] Beniko
    For now, let's run to the entrance!
[18:44] Hikari
    Hey! Look!
[18:45] Marshmallow
    Baboom!
[18:47] Marshmallow
    We're a wall of mandragoras!
[18:49] Haruaki
    I had them set up in
    front of all the exits!
[18:52] Hatanaka
    You're actually useful
    when uniforms are involved.
[18:55] Mandragora 2
    You're not getting through!
[18:58] Noriko
    Hey! Stop stepping on my face, you moron!
[19:00] Mandragora 2
    Huh?! Shaddap! Unlike you, I have long legs!
[19:05] Noriko
    What'd you say?! Who do you think
    you are, you dumb mandragora?!
[19:08] Marshmallow
    Who do you think you are,
    you dumb mandragora?!
[19:11] Marshmallow
    What school you from, huh?!
[19:12] Noriko
    You're just a fat radish!
[19:12] Hijita
    Now's our chance!
[19:13] Marshmallow
    Shut up, you fake daikon radish!
[19:15] Kazuo
    Stop that. We're Solanaceae plants.
[19:16] Haruaki
    I messed up!
[19:18] Hatanaka
    What are you doing, you useless fool?!
[19:20] Haruaki
    A man who goes from capable to useless
    in 30 seconds. That's me, Haruaki.
[19:24] Hatanaka
    Hey, Rintarou!
[19:25] Miki
    Huh?!
[19:26] Hatanaka
    I'm allowing you to drink just
    for today! Go capture them!
[19:31] Beniko
    We somehow managed to get away.
[19:34] Hijita
    Yeah. But they're going to all
    this trouble for some game cons—
[19:38] Hijita
    A hand?
[19:46] Miki
    You ain't gettin' away from me...
[19:49] Hijita
    Oh, God! They summoned a drunken Miki!
[19:52] Hayashi
    Little Bro, show him what
    a Raijin is made of.
[19:55] Hikari
    Aye-aye.
[19:56] Hikari
    I'll drop lighting on that
    lighting rod on your head!
SIGN    Lightning rod
SIGN    Lightning rod
SIGN    Lightning rod
SIGN    Lightning rod
SIGN    Lightning rod
SIGN    Lightning rod
[20:06] Hatanaka
    Whoa! Abe-sensei's on fire!
[20:09] Hikari
    Oh, it fell on the bigger lightning rod.
[20:12] Haruaki
    Mayday! Mayday!
[20:13] Haruaki
    I'm currently on fire!
[20:15] Hatanaka
    You moron! Don't repeatedly
    tap on the fire alarm!
[20:17] Hatanaka
    Rintarou! Get the fire extinguisher!
[20:20] Miki
    I can't drink another drop...
[20:23] Hatanaka
    Damn it! He's already out of batteries!
[20:25] Haruaki
    Oh, God! I'm gonna die!
[20:25] Hikari
    Oh, fine. Little Bro,
    use wind to put out the fire.
[20:30] Hayashi
    Aye-aye.
[20:32] Beniko
    So, um... which one of you
    is actually the little brother?
[20:35] Marshmallow
    Which is it?
SIGN    Faculty Room
[20:37] Haruaki
    What? You didn't come here to
    steal the midterm questions?!
[20:41] Hijita
    And you guys were talking about
    locking the tests in the safe?
SIGN    Burnedaki
[20:46] Hatanaka
    For crying out loud... You guys could've
    just asked for them back normally.
[20:50] Hatanaka
    Here.
[20:51] Haruaki
    Well, at least the fire truck didn't show up.
[20:54] Hatanaka
    Our fire alarm only informs those in the
    school building that there's a fire.
[20:58] Hatanaka
    The ones who hear it call the
    fire department, but thankfully...
[21:05] Hatanaka
    And... they called.
[21:08] Hatanaka
    Okay, let's run.
[21:10] All
    Yes, sir!
[21:14] Yamamoto
    Sir! We couldn't find what caused the fire!
[21:17] Captain
    What?!
[21:18] Yamamoto
    But the front door was destroyed!
[21:20] Captain
    What?!
[21:21] Captain
    I-I know! Some youkai must've
    set off the fire alarm!
[21:25] Captain
    Yamamoto-kun! Call an exorcist!
[21:28] Yamamoto
    Roger!
[21:29] Yamamoto
    Wait, we're also youkai!
[21:30] Sano
    Say, Nyuudou. Is Hijita...
[21:32] Nyuudou
    Yeah, he's not back yet.
[21:37] Sano
    I see. So you were all playing tag at this hour,
    and now you're playing hide-and-seek.
[21:43] Hijita
    Exactly.
[21:45] Sano
    Pardon me! The ones who pulled
    the fire alarm are over here!
[21:49] Captain
    What?!
[21:50] Captain
    Come back here!
SIGN    Runawayaki
[21:53] Haruaki
    I'm sorry!
[21:55] Mamekichi
    Say, Sano-kun.
[21:56] Mamekichi
    Is there a proverb that fits this situation?
[21:59] Sano
    Let's see... "Once a fool,
    always a fool." I think.
[22:04] Mamekichi
    Yay, I got just a little smarter again!

Season 1

4 - An Interview with Haruaki?! Here Comes Youkai TV!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Class 2-3
[00:04] All
    What?!
[00:07] Hijita
    Youkai TV 's gonna interview you?!
[00:11] Haruaki
    They want to do an up-close interview of me
[00:14] Haruaki
    as the first human teacher at a youkai school.
SIGN    Oni
[00:16] Beniko
    And what's the show called?
[00:18] Haruaki
    Well...
[00:20] Haruaki
    It's a documentary show called
    Youkai Autobiographies.
[00:24] Hijita
    What?! That's a super famous
    show that's been on forever!
[00:27] Seimei
    Seimei! I really don't think you should do this!
[00:32] Haruaki
    Huh?! But why?
[00:33] Haruaki
    That shocked me so much,
    I hit my head on the board!
[00:35] Nyuudou
    You're just gonna embarrass
    yourself on national TV.
[00:40] Haruaki
    Wah, what's your problem with me?!
[00:43] All
    This right here.
[00:45] Sano
    Actually, should you even be on TV?
SIGN    Scaredy
    Cat
SIGN    Scaredy
    Cat
SIGN    Loser
SIGN    Loser
[00:48] Sano
    You're a loser, a scaredy cat,
    and you have a uniform fetish.
[00:51] Sign
    Uniform
    Fetish
[00:51] Sign
    Uniform
    Fetish
[00:53] Sano
    Tons of viewers will probably complain
    about you and, worst case,
[00:56] Sano
    you might get fired.
SIGN    Fired
[00:57] Haruaki
    Such violent words!
[00:59] Haruaki
    Yeah, I guess I am pretty useless...
[01:02] Haruaki
    Maybe I'll decline after all.
[01:05] Hijita
    Oh, fine.
[01:07] Hijita
    We'll do our best to make you
    look like a good teacher on TV.
[01:12] Hijita
    So make sure you don't
    embarrass yourself.
[01:16] Haruaki
    Right!
[01:17] Hatanaka
    Er, more importantly, could you not
    put a hole in the wall during class?
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
SIGN    Auditorium
SIGN    The Following Week
SIGN    Episode 4
    "An Interview with Haruaki?!
    Here Comes Youkai TV!"
[03:00] Ageha
    Hello!
[03:02] Ageha
    I'm a director at Youkai TV.
[03:05] Ageha
    My name is Ageha, and I'm a
    youkai called a choukeshin.
[03:08] Ageha
    This is my AD and my other staff.
[03:12] Haruaki
    The AD's scary.
[03:14] Ageha
    So after we film your class,
    we'd like to see some club activities.
[03:20] Haruaki
    Oh, sure! I look forward to working with you.
SIGN    Class 2-3
[03:26] Mujina
    I wonder if Seimei's being
    interviewed right about now.
[03:30] Nyuudou
    Who's that?
[03:31] Tamao
    The former afro guy Mujina
    who got a straight perm.
[03:35] Mamekichi
    Hey, Yanagida. You're awfully shiny today.
[03:38] Yanagida
    Touch me.
[03:43] Mamekichi
    Th-This is... silk!
[03:48] Yanagida
    Today, you can call me an ittan-silk
    rather than ittan-momen, kid.
[03:52] Mamekichi
    Shut up, you dumb silkworm secretion.
[03:55] Beniko
    Wow, everyone's hyped up.
[03:58] Hijita
    Seriously...
[03:59] Hijita
    Guys! Quiet down and
    stop getting carried away!
[04:02] Hijita
    I can't concentrate on my reading!
SIGN    Harumph
[04:04] Hijita
    Harumph!
[04:05] Beniko
    You're the one who's getting carried away.
[04:07] Nyuudou
    Seriously? You said this was for Seimei,
    but you all just wanted to be on TV!
[04:14] Tamao
    Actually, I also...
[04:18] Tamao
    decided to try out being a long-haired cat!
[04:20] Nyuudou
    What an expensive-looking cat!
[04:23] Haruaki
    This is my class, Director.
[04:26] All
    He's here!
[04:28] Ageha
    Hello, everyone! I look forward
    to working with you all today.
[04:34] Nyuudou
    That AD's scary.
[04:37] Ageha
    I wonder why there's a
    hole in the blackboard.
[04:41] Haruaki
    Okay, open up your textbooks...
SIGN    Super Cute
    Uniform Encyclopedia
SIGN    Super Cute
    Uniform Encyclopedia
[04:44] Haruaki
    This is...
SIGN    Modern
    Japanese
[04:48] Mujina
    What?!
[04:49] Nyuudou
    Well, that was short-lived.
SIGN    Super Cute
    Uniform Encyclopedia
SIGN    Super Cute
    Uniform Encyclopedia
[04:53] Haruaki
    This is my Super Cute Uniform Encyclopedia!
[04:56] Haruaki
    Crap! I must've brought it
    instead of my textbook!
[05:00] Haruaki
    I can understand grabbing the wrong
    textbook, but this is real bad!
SIGN    Cue card
[05:05] Haruaki
    But thankfully, no one
    seems to have noticed yet.
[05:08] Haruaki
    In that case...
[05:09] Haruaki
    Oh, no! I slipped!
[05:11] Ageha
    What in the world?!
[05:16] Haruaki
    Dear members of Class 4...
[05:18] Haruaki
    Someone please lend me your Japanese book!
[05:21] Hatanaka
    Why did you come to
    borrow one from there?!
[05:29] Haruaki
    Whew, class is finally over...
[05:31] Haruaki
    I just got a thousand years
    knocked off my life.
[05:34] Mamekichi
    How long do you plan on living?
[05:37] Ageha
    Abe-sensei! What's the next class?
[05:40] Haruaki
    Um, next up is...
[05:44] Haruaki
    Hatanaka-sensei will be helping us
    with our next class of spooking.
[05:49] Hatanaka
    You'll all be doing some actual spooking.
[05:53] Hatanaka
    Make sure you be careful
    and give it your all!
[05:56] Haruaki
    Yes, sir! I'll give it my all!
[05:59] Hatanaka
    Er, you won't be spooking, Abe-sensei.
[06:01] Hatanaka
    Please don't do anything. Just watch.
[06:03] Ageha
    A human teacher coming along
    on a spooking lesson!
[06:07] Ageha
    This will make excellent footage!
[06:09] Haruaki
    But if this class will be in Honshu...
    Are we hopping on a boat now?
[06:14] Hatanaka
    Of course not. It'd take more than ten hours.
[06:17] Hatanaka
    We're going straight from the
    classroom. Open the door.
[06:24] Haruaki
    A-An abandoned building?!
[06:28] Hatanaka
    So, as you can see,
    we're not at school anymore.
[06:32] Hatanaka
    We're in a shopping district on Honshu.
SIGN    Exciting Shopping District
[06:35] Hatanaka
    The principal used his youkai magic to connect
    that classroom with this place in Honshu.
SIGN    We Were
    Here
SIGN    Now We're
    Here
[06:41] Japan
    Wow!
[06:42] Haruaki
    You guys could've told me that earlier...
[06:46] Haruaki
    I came here by boat my first day.
[06:48] Hatanaka
    If we had, you would've run off your first day.
[06:50] Haruaki
    T-True!
[06:52] Haruaki
    Oh, could we cut this part out?
[06:54] Ageha
    Sure! Leave it to us.
[06:56] Hatanaka
    Now, then.
[06:57] Hatanaka
    This should be the first hands-on
    practice for all of you.
[07:00] Hatanaka
    This shopping district's been shuttered,
    so there aren't a lot of people around.
[07:04] Hatanaka
    It's the perfect place for
    your first hands-on practice.
[07:07] Hatanaka
    By the way, Abe-sensei might be human,
    but he's not a suitable target to spook.
[07:11] Hatanaka
    Do you know why?
[07:12] Haruaki
    I'm not?
[07:14] Mamekichi
    I do! It's because he doesn't have any friends!
[07:17] Haruaki
    M-M-M-M-M-M-Maizuka-kun!
[07:20] Hatanaka
    You're half correct.
[07:22] Haruaki
    Hey! Don't keep talking as if
    I really don't have any friends!
[07:26] Hatanaka
    Do you, though?
[07:27] Haruaki
    No, I don't.
[07:30] Hijita
    I know! Because he's a perv!
[07:32] Beniko
    I know! Because he's so pathetic to look at!
[07:34] Sano
    I know. He spreads misfortune.
[07:36] Haruaki
    Uh, hey! You're all just
    slandering me left and right!
[07:39] Utagawa
    Um... Because even if you spook
    him, he'll have no one to tell?
[07:44] Hatanaka
    Exactly, Utagawa.
[07:46] Hatanaka
    You can spook all you want, but there's
    no point if word of it doesn't spread.
[07:50] Child
    Mommy! Ghosts!
[07:51] Hatanaka
    For that same reason, no small children, either.
[07:53] Hatanaka
    No one will believe them.
[07:55] Haruaki
    I see!
[07:57] Hatanaka
    And no elderly, pregnant,
    or ill-looking people, either.
[08:01] Haruaki
    I guess you have to be really
    careful about spooking.
[08:05] Hatanaka
    Okay, first up...
[08:06] Hatanaka
    Let's have the class reps, Utagawa
    and Nyuudou, give it a try.
[08:10] Haruaki
    I'll send you guys good vibes so it'll go well.
[08:15] Nyuudou
    Please don't. I feel like your
    vibes will just mess us up.
[08:25] Utagawa
    Hey, look! How about those people?
[08:28] Rando guy A
    By the way, what happened
    with your other girlfriend?
[08:31] Rando guy B
    Oh, her? I dumped her ages
    ago. She's broke as hell.
[08:35] Nyuudou
    Wow, what a piece of shit.
    This'll make it easy.
[08:39] Utagawa and Nyuudou
    Okay!
[08:41] Utagawa
    Excuse me.
[08:42] Utagawa
    Could you give me directions?
[08:45] Rando guy A
    Well, where do you wanna go?
    I'll take you there myself!
[08:49] Utagawa
    Really? In that case...
[08:53] Utagawa
    Could you take me to the River Styx?
[09:01] Rando guy A
    A ghost!
[09:02] Rando guy A
    Someone get a shaman!
[09:03] Rando guy B
    You dumbass! What good would
    it be talking to ghosts?!
[09:05] Rando guy A
    Ow.
[09:07] Nyuudou
    Boo.
[09:12] Nyuudou
    If you don't treat girls better,
    you might get a visitor by your pillow.
[09:19] Both
    Yeah!
[09:20] Hatanaka
    Fantastic work, you two.
[09:22] Haruaki
    I'm really glad I'm not a
    good target for spooking.
[09:27] Mujina
    Damn you, Nyuudou.
    How dare you get all the praise?
[09:31] Hatanaka
    In that case, Mujina,
    you and Hijita can go next.
[09:34] Mujina
    Leave it to me!
[09:36] Mujina
    I'll do a much better job spooking
    than that cocky narcissist!
SIGN    The Cocky
    Narcissist
SIGN    The Cocky
    Narcissist
[09:42] Small Old Man
    The cocky narcissist.
[09:45] Nyuudou
    Huh?
[09:49] Hijita
    Hey, Mujina, your mom's over there.
[09:52] Mujina
    You saying that just because
    we have the same hair?
[09:55] Mujina
    Let's go!
[09:57] Hijita and Mujina
    Excuse me.
[10:00] Hijita and Mujina
    Hello!
[10:06] Old Lady
    Well, well...
SIGN    Tanaka's
    Salt
[10:09] Old Lady
    Hi-yah!
[10:12] Hijita
    What's the big idea, you old hag?!
[10:14] Old Lady
    I'm no ordinary old lady!
[10:17] Old Lady
    I'm an exorcist old lady that
    some high school kids hired!
SIGN    "Some high school kids"
[10:22] Old lady
    Curse you, evil spirits!
    I'll exterminate you!
[10:25] Hijita and Mujina
    You seem way more like the evil
    spirit here, you old hag!
SIGN    Exciting Shopping District
[10:31] Hijita
    Please stop!
[10:33] Mujina
    No, I can't!
[10:36] Hijita
    And so we played tag with everything
    we had for about ten kilometers.
[10:41] Hatanaka
    Where's the old lady?
[10:43] Mujina
    We managed to seal her away.
[10:48] Nyuudou
    Don't sweat it.
[10:49] Mujina
    Shut up!
[10:51] Hatanaka
    Okay, next up, we have highest
    attendance, Akisame, and...
[10:56] Tamao
    Let it be someone cute.
    Let it be someone cute.
[10:57] Tamao
    Let it be someone cute. Let it be
    someone cute. Let it be someone cute!
[11:04] Mamekichi
    Ain't I a cutie?
[11:06] Tamao
    Sure.
[11:07] HS girl A
    What? No way!
[11:10] HS girl B
    Nuh-uh! You can't hide it!
[11:12] Mamekichi
    Hey, Akisame-kun. Some high
    school girls are coming over.
[11:15] Tamao
    Heck yeah! Let's do this, Mame!
[11:18] Mamekichi
    Wow, you're pumped.
[11:20] HS girl A
    Okay, I'll tell you the truth.
[11:23] HS girl B
    Yeah!
SIGN    Hiss
[11:25] Tamao
    Hey, look! I'm a nekomata!
[11:27] HS girl A
    Oh, my gosh! A kitty!
[11:29] HS girl B
    Wow! It has two tails! That's amazing!
[11:34] Mamekichi
    Tanukis are charming, too!
[11:37] HS girl A
    Ooh! A tanuki, too!
[11:39] HS girl B
    It's so cute and fluffy!
[11:41] Haruaki
    They just seem to enjoy being doted on.
[11:45] Hatanaka
    I guess I'll be giving
    those two extra homework.
[11:49] Hatanaka
    Okay, next. Mikoto Sano.
[11:54] Hatanaka
    And, I know. Why don't you
    go with him, Abe-sensei?
[11:58] Haruaki
    Huh? Me?
[11:59] Sano
    Wha?! Why do I have to go with him?
[12:02] Haruaki
    Yay! Do I get to spook people,
    too? That sounds fun!
[12:05] Ageha
    That's a great idea! We'll get it all on film.
[12:10] Hatanaka
    Just in case.
[12:17] Haruaki
    Come to think of it, you don't use
    youkai magic at all, Sano-kun.
[12:21] Sano
    I'm not good at controlling my youkai magic.
[12:30] Sano
    Remember what Miki said in class before?
[12:33] Sano
    Zashiki and I are the types
[12:34] Sano
    that can use our youkai magic
    just by willing it in our hearts.
[12:40] Small Old Man
    Sano-kun in middle school.
[12:43] Sano
    I was never able to really
    control my heart well enough.
[12:48] Haruaki
    Don't worry, Sano-kun!
[12:51] Haruaki
    If all else fails, I'll use my exorcism
    powers to exorcise your youkai magic.
[12:57] Haruaki
    See? I even brought a uniform for
    a dress-up doll to get motivated.
[13:05] Sano
    Say that once you can actually use
    your exorcism powers properly.
[13:09] Sano
    Come on. Let's get this over with.
[13:11] Haruaki
    Wait for me, Sano-kun!
[13:15] Male Owner
    You're so full of energy, Todoroki.
[13:17] Todoroki
    Sure am.
[13:22] Sano
    I'll make this as mild as possible.
[13:26] Male Owner
    What's wrong, Todoroki?
[13:27] Male Owner
    Todoroki! Where are you going?!
[13:30] Sano
    I did it, but that was a bit lame.
[13:33] Haruaki
    S-Sano-kun...
[13:37] Haruaki
    Todoroki is heading this way!
[13:40] Sano
    That's not due to my youkai magic.
[13:46] Todoroki
    You're mine!
[13:51] Haruaki
    That was a close one!
SIGN    G
    y
    a
    a
    a
    a
    a
    a
    h
[13:55] Haruaki
    I blame being born under an unlucky star!
[13:59] Working lady
    About the documents for the next meeting...
[14:03] Haruaki
    Hello!
SIGN    Hello!!!
[14:05] Hatanaka
    A-Are you all right, Abe-sensei?
[14:08] Haruaki
    If I look all right to you right now,
[14:09] Haruaki
    you might want to get your
    glasses prescription renewed.
[14:13] Sano
    There, I scared them.
[14:15] Haruaki
    I'm the one you scared, actually!
[14:24] Hatanaka
    Well, anyway... Why not try scaring
    people without hurting them?
[14:29] Sano
    Without hurting them...
[14:32] Haruaki
    Yeah. For example, a paranormal
    phenomenon or a poltergeist.
[14:42] HS girl
    Help! Police!
[14:44] Hatanaka
    Hey, wait a second!
[14:45] Haruaki
    Wait, Hatanaka-sensei!
[14:47] Haruaki
    Don't chase after a high school
    girl looking like this!
[14:50] Sano
    At least I didn't hurt you.
[14:53] Both
    You deeply hurt our hearts and our pride!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Class 2-3
[15:06] Ageha
    Great job on your outdoor class.
[15:08] Ageha
    We got some great footage of it!
[15:11] Ageha
    Let's do the club activities
    interview after this!
[15:14] Haruaki
    Er, um... Please make sure to
    cut out any risque footage.
[15:19] Mujina
    This isn't looking too good.
[15:22] Beniko
    And they definitely didn't get any
    footage of him actually being useful.
[15:25] Beniko
    Because he wasn't useful.
[15:27] Hijita
    We told him not to embarrass himself...
[15:30] Tamao
    Is there anything we can do?
[15:32] Hijita
    Oh, fine. Let's roll up our
    sleeves and help him out.
[15:35] Beniko
    You gonna turn to mud if
    you roll them up too much?
[15:37] Hijita
    No!
[15:38] Hijita
    Listen... Whisper, whisper, whisper...
[15:44] Sano
    What are they plotting?
[15:47] Ageha
    So you're usually the advisor
    for the biology club?
[15:51] Haruaki
    Yes.
[15:52] Haruaki
    Or, well, I water the mandragoras
    and feed the human-faced fish.
[15:59] Ageha
    I hear you've named the
    mandragora you take care of.
[16:04] Haruaki
    Yes!
[16:05] Haruaki
    I brought a few of them from
    the mandragora garden today.
[16:08] Marshmallow
    We're mandragoras.
[16:10] Haruaki
    This one is Noriko, and that handsome one
    over there that looks like an idol is Kazuo.
[16:14] Haruaki
    Oh, and this one with the
    marshmallow body is Marshmallow.
[16:17] Ageha
    Yup. Can't tell them apart.
[16:20] Hijita
    Well, well. You look like you're having fun.
[16:23] Ageha
    What?
[16:24] Hijita
    Mind if we join you?
[16:27] Ageha
    Wh-Who are you?
[16:29] Hijita
    Who are we? We're clearly
    delinquents surrounding you.
[16:32] Hijita
    Can't you tell?
[16:33] Mamekichi
    Hiji-tan and the others are
    purposely playing bad guys
[16:37] Mamekichi
    who get defeated to make
    Seimei-kun look better.
[16:39] Sano
    Those are some old-school
    delinquents, that's for sure.
[16:42] Mamekichi
    As for Seimei-kun...
[16:44] Mamekichi
    Hey! He turned into a sheep
    being targeted by wolves.
[16:48] Haruaki
    H-H-H-H-Hijita-kun and
    the others have gone bad!
[16:51] Haruaki
    They're gonna kill me!
[16:53] Mamekichi
    I know how he looks, but it's just Hiji-tan.
[16:56] Mamekichi
    The same Hiji-tan who bawls his eyes
    out reading shojo manga sometimes.
[16:59] Mamekichi
    What's so scary about him?
[17:01] Haruaki
    I-I'm sorry. Delinquents are the one
    thing I absolutely can't deal with...
[17:06] Haruaki
    They're scarier than bandits or robbers.
[17:10] Sano
    Bandits and robbers are definitely scarier.
SIGN    Script
[17:13] Nyuudou
    Hey, do you really have time to
    be scared, Cow Lick-sensei?
SIGN    Script
[17:17] Beniko
    You better hurry up and reform us,
SIGN    Script
SIGN    Script
SIGN    Script
[17:19] Beniko
    or we're gonna take money
    from the guys in Class 3.
[17:22] Class 3
    S-Save us!
SIGN    Fire
[17:25] Mamekichi
    Oh, no! They're not delinquents!
    They're robbers!
[17:28] Haruaki
    Y-You shouldn't do that! Bad!
[17:32] Sano
    Stop scolding them so poorly! Bad!
[17:37] Haruaki
    Yeah, so if you keep getting yelled
    at, you're gonna end up like him.
[17:44] All
    We're sorry!
[17:47] Ageha
    Amazing! Abe-sensei's words have made
    these delinquents turn over a new leaf!
[17:52] Sano
    This TV crew is pretty stupid.
[17:57] Hijita
    We'll live proper lives from now on.
[17:59] Tamao
    I'll wear a helmet when I ride my bike.
[18:02] Mujina
    I'll go back to my afro.
[18:03] Nyuudou
    Huh? Uh... I-I'll try to
    get into Tokyo University.
[18:06] Beniko
    Hmm... I can't think of anything. Tee-hee.
[18:08] Sano
    This is so half-assed.
[18:10] Ageha
    Okay, let's get back on track with
    the club activities interview.
[18:15] Haruaki
    Well, I guess I can talk about the time when
    the mandragora Noriko fought a wild tiger...
[18:20] Mamekichi
    Huh? Seimei-kun, one's missing.
[18:23] Haruaki
    Huh?
[18:26] Ageha
    Hey, isn't that it?
[18:28] Marshmallow
    Yahoo!
[18:31] Haruaki
    Marshmallow!
[18:41] Haruaki
    Marshmallow!
[18:51] Sano
    Damn it...
[18:53] Sano
    You need to think things
    through, you dumbass!
[18:58] Hijita
    Not that we're in any place to talk.
[19:01] Beniko
    Seimei's recklessness is contagious.
[19:05] Haruaki
    G-Guys...
[19:08] Haruaki
    Thank you!
[19:10] All
    You're welcome!
SIGN    Fire
[19:14] Kurahashi
    But we can't pull them up by ourselves.
[19:19] Odawara
    Where the heck did Oota,
    Yanagida, and Maeda go?!
[19:24] Fujihira
    They're in the bathroom. Someone call—
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
[19:28] AD
    Leave it to me.
[19:31] Mandragoras
    Oh, thank goodness!
[19:33] Haruaki
    W-We're saved...
[19:35] Hijita
    I was reunited with my
    dead grandma for a sec.
[19:37] Beniko
    Your grandma's still alive, though.
[19:42] AD
    You really showed some courage, kids.
[19:46] Mujina
    Huh? The AD's awesome.
[19:49] Nyuudou
    He's got the dignity of a producer.
[19:58] Sano
    Jeez... I get how you feel,
    but don't push yourself too much.
[20:03] Sano
    You're shortening my lifespan.
[20:05] Haruaki
    Sano-kun...
[20:08] Haruaki
    It wasn't much, but...
[20:10] Haruaki
    I peed a little.
SIGN    Q: Lastly, how would you like to spend the rest
     of your time at the youkai school?
[20:14] Haruaki
    Well... I want to better myself
    along with my youkai students.
[20:21] Narration
    The human teacher Haruaki Abe.
[20:24] Narration
    He would continue to better himself
    as he teaches at the youkai school.
[20:32] Haruaki
    Hey, how was yesterday's show?
    Didn't I look awesome?!
[20:37] Sano
    "Better myself," my ass!
[20:40] Sano
    Man, that acting was infuriating.
[20:42] Hijita
    Even if we didn't work so hard, they edited the
    hell out of you to seem like a skilled teacher.
[20:47] Hijita
    It's actually infuriating.
[20:49] Haruaki
    B-But I heard the ratings were great, too.
[20:52] Nyuudou
    Yeah, yeah. You've already told us.
[20:56] Haruaki
    Oh, sorry. I've got a phone call.
[21:01] Haruaki
    Hello, Ame? It's been a while!
[21:04] Haruaki
    Thanks for those talismans.
[21:06] Ameaki
    I was wondering what was going on since
    you suddenly asked for talismans.
[21:11] Ameaki
    But to think you'd become a
    teacher a youkai school...
[21:15] Haruaki
    Yup. I think I'm more surprised
    than anyone else.
[21:20] Ameaki
    Oh, yeah.
[21:22] Ameaki
    In return for those talismans,
    I wanted to ask a favor.
[21:27] Haruaki
    A festival?
[21:28] Haruaki
    Oh, I guess it is that time of year...
[21:31] Haruaki
    Yeah, sure. That should be fine.
[21:36] Haruaki
    Okay, I'll head home to Osaka this weekend.
[21:40] Beniko
    Hey, did you hear that?
[21:41] Hijita
    Yeah, Haruaki's going home
    to his parents' place.
[21:45] Sano
    Hey, don't tell me you guys are
    planning on tagging along.
[21:50] All
    You bet your ass we are.
[21:53] Haruaki
    Yeah, everything's going well.
[21:55] Haruaki
    They even did a special feature
    on me on Youkai TV yesterday.
[21:59] Haruaki
    I'll show you a recording
    of it when I get home.
[22:03] Haruaki
    No, really! I'm serious!
[22:05] Haruaki
    You've gotta believe me!
[22:07] Haruaki
    I can do it if I try!

Season 1

5 - I Know. Let's Go to Sensei's Family Home.

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Sano
    We asked Miki for your family home's address.
[00:05] Sano
    We're currently on a Shinkansen
    bound for Shin-Osaka.
[00:08] Haruaki
    Wait, wait... How does that even happen?!
[00:11] Haruaki
    You know very well that I'd be in a lot of
    trouble if people found out who my family is!
[00:16] Sano
    I'll just have everyone do
    some touristy stuff in Osaka,
[00:19] Sano
    then tell them I lost the paper with
    the address on it, and we'll head home.
[00:22] Sano
    So don't go to any touristy spots.
[00:25] Haruaki
    Okay... I got that, but something's off.
[00:29] Sano
    Huh?
[00:30] Haruaki
    Well, it's weird that you're
    being so nice to me, Sano-kun!
[00:34] Haruaki
    Go on! Get mad! Yell at me, you dumb Sano-kun!
[00:38] Sano
    Listen here...
[00:41] Sano
    You'd better not be messing with
    me just because I'm not nearby.
[00:50] Sano
    I take back everything I said.
[00:53] Sano
    We'll be there in a few hours,
[00:54] Sano
    so wash your dumb cowlick and wait,
    you failure of a teacher!
[00:57] Haruaki
    Huh? Wait, that was a joke...
[01:01] Haruaki
    He hung up.
[01:04] Haruaki
    Now I've done it!
[01:06] Haruaki
    I've summoned the demon lord!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
SIGN    Episode 5
    "I Know. Let's Go to
    Sensei's Family Home."
[02:49] Hijita
    Okay, we ate, so let's get going.
[02:52] Mamekichi
    But Beniko-chan went to the ladies'
    room and hasn't come back yet.
[02:56] Beniko
    And I keep telling you
    I'm here with someone!
[03:00] Flirt 2
    Oh, who cares about them? Come play with us.
[03:04] Beniko
    Hey, you guys! Say something!
[03:10] Hijita
    Congrats, Beni-chan. You're in your prime.
[03:13] Beniko
    Don't make me knock you out, Hijita!
[03:14] Beniko
    Don't be jealous just because you're gonna
    die a virgin who never hit his prime!
[03:19] Hijita
    N-N-N-N-Never?!
[03:21] Flirt 1
    N-Now, now...
[03:22] Sano
    Hijita, go save her already.
[03:25] Mamekichi
    You're embarrassing us here.
[03:27] Hijita
    Aw, hell... Okay, fine, damn it.
[03:31] Amaaki
    Hey.
[03:34] Amaaki
    Let her go already.
[03:38] Beniko
    S-Seimei?
[03:40] Flirt 1
    Who the hell are you?
[03:42] Flirt 1
    Who d'ya think you are?
    Don't make us kick your ass!
[03:45] Amaaki
    Huh?
[03:48] Amaaki
    Kick whose ass?
[03:50] Three
    Barf...
[03:52] Amaaki
    Come on. If you're gonna flirt with anyone,
[03:54] Amaaki
    go flirt with that hottie over there.
[03:56] Flirt 1
    Huh? Oh, come on. That's a bit...
SIGN    Get over there...
[04:03] Sign
    Would you like to get some tea, miss?
[04:05] Old lady
    Try again when you're actually hot.
[04:10] Amaaki
    You okay?
[04:11] Beniko
    Huh?! Y-Yeah...
[04:14] Amaaki
    Well, good.
[04:19] Mamekichi
    You dumb doppelganger!
[04:20] Mamekichi
    How can you sully our Seimei-kun
    by having him do awesome deeds?!
[04:25] Amaaki
    Wha... What's your problem?!
[04:26] Mamekichi
    Shut up!
[04:27] Mamekichi
    In the first place, Seimei-kun would
    never wear such fancy clothes!
[04:31] Amaaki
    Huh?
[04:32] Mamekichi
    Seimei-kun wears clothes that his mom
    bought during a three-for-1,000-yen deal.
[04:36] Mamekichi
    Yeah! I said it!
[04:38] Haruaki
    Oh, there you are!
[04:39] Haruaki
    Sano-kun!
SIGN    Haruaki
[04:42] Sano
    Seimei!
[04:43] Haruaki
    I'm sorry about earlier!
[04:45] Haruaki
    It was really just a little joke! Don't be mad!
[04:49] Sano
    You're so gross!
[04:50] Amaaki
    Haru!
[04:53] Haruaki
    Ame?
[04:55] Sano
    So...
[04:58] Sano
    I didn't expect you to have a twin.
[05:00] Haruaki
    Yeah. He's my older brother, Amaaki.
[05:02] Haruaki
    And I'm Haruaki.
[05:04] Haruaki
    So, Ame, these are all my students.
[05:08] Haruaki
    The one in this plastic bottle, too.
[05:10] Hijita
    Why the hell am I currently cocoa?!
[05:12] Beniko
    What were we supposed to do?
    This car only seats five.
[05:15] Mamekichi
    You could've just ridden on Sano-kun's lap.
[05:18] Hijita
    Like I'd ever do anything that gross!
[05:22] Mamekichi
    Hey, you! What's with that attitude?!
[05:25] Beniko
    Like you can talk.
    You're the one who punched him.
[05:28] Haruaki
    Sorry. I think Ame's always hated
    ghosts and youkai and stuff.
[05:34] Sano
    You don't handle them very well yourself.
[05:36] Haruaki
    What I really can't handle are middle
    schoolers hanging out at convenience stores.
[05:42] Mamekichi
    By the way, Seimei-kun,
    the clothes you're wearing...
[05:46] Haruaki
    Huh? I don't really get clothes or fashion,
[05:49] Haruaki
    so I'm just wearing a shirt that mom
    bought during a three-for-1,000-yen deal.
[05:52] Mamekichi
    I see!
[05:54] Mamekichi
    I love you, Seimei-kun!
[05:59] Haruaki
    This is my home.
[06:01] Mamekichi
    Wow, look at that gate!
[06:05] Sano
    A torii gate...
[06:07] Haruaki
    I explained everything to my mom.
[06:09] Haruaki
    My dad left for work early this morning,
    so I'll explain it to him later.
[06:13] Haruaki
    So don't wor—
[06:13] Dad
    Haru! You came home!
[06:18] Haruaki
    Budapest!
[06:19] Dad
    That's the capital of Hungary!
[06:21] Mamekichi
    Huh? Who's that, Seimei-kun?
[06:23] Haruaki
    It's just some ghost that's bound here!
[06:25] Haruaki
    It's been wandering around here
    lately and bothering people.
[06:29] Mom
    Haru.
[06:31] Mom
    Are your students here?
[06:35] Mom
    Oh, my! What happened, sweet—
[06:38] Haruaki
    Tofu!
[06:39] Haruaki
    Mom! I'd love some miso soup with sweet tofu!
[06:43] Mom
    Oh, really?
[06:46] Haruaki
    I told you! It's a secret to my
    students that my house is a shrine!
[06:50] Mom
    Oh! Right! My lips are sealed!
[06:54] Mom
    Okay, everyone. Please come in.
[06:57] Sano
    Er... Are we just gonna
    leave this guy in the road?
[07:00] Mom
    He's, uh...
[07:02] Mom
    a fairy that's been living
    in our house for ages.
[07:05] Mom
    You know, like the one in urban legends.
[07:07] Mom
    He's like the small old man.
[07:11] Small old man
    The Small Old Man. Apparently, something
    good will happen if you see one.
SIGN    "Small Old Man"
[07:15] Hijita
    Er, what we're seeing is clearly
    a normal, big, old guy.
[07:19] Mom
    Oh, my! That must mean you'll
    be billionaires in the future!
[07:24] Hijita; Mamekichi; Beniko
    For real?!
[07:25] Mom
    For real, for real.
[07:26] Hijita; Mamekichi; Beniko
    That's awesome!
[07:28] Haruaki and Sano
    They actually believe her.
[07:31] Sano
    They definitely seem like your parents.
[07:33] Haruaki
    Right?
[07:38] Mom
    I've never seen Haru with anyone
    other than Ame! I'm so happy!
[07:42] Haruaki
    Mom, they're not "people." They're youkai.
[07:46] Mamekichi
    Ma'am, what was Seimei-kun
    like when he was little?
SIGN    Haruaki
SIGN    Mamaaki
[07:50] Mom
    He was exactly the same as he is now.
SIGN    Haruaki
[07:53] Mom
    Even when he was a baby.
SIGN    Haruaki
SIGN    Haruaki
SIGN    Haruaki
[07:57] (Flashback) Mom
    Sweetie! Ame stood up!
SIGN    Ame
[08:00] (Flashback) Mom
    You're almost there, Haru.
[08:02] (Flashback) Dad
    You've got this!
[08:03] (Flashback) Neighbor
    Sorry! The wind blew my laundry over here!
SIGN    Haru
SIGN    Haru
SIGN    Haru
SIGN    Haru
SIGN    Haru
SIGN    Haru
[08:11] (Flashback) Mom
    Haru stood—
[08:12] (Flashback) Mom and Dad
    He's walking!
[08:15] Mom
    And then he gallantly went to pick up
    the sailor uniform that blew over.
[08:19] Hijita
    Seriously... Did something happen with
    you and uniforms in your past life?
[08:25] Mom
    So, is Haru...
[08:27] Dad
    Pardon me...
[08:30] Mom
    ...doing a good job as a teacher?
[08:32] Hijita; Mamekichi; Beniko
    Huh? A good job?
SIGN    Modern
    Japanese
[08:37] Hijita
    I mean... he doesn't lose hope when
    I throw mud at him during class.
[08:41] Beniko
    He doesn't lose hope when his
    fellow teachers try to kill him.
[08:46] Mamekichi
    He doesn't lose hope for tons
    of other reasons, either.
[08:49] Mom
    Wow! Haru must be really tough!
[08:52] Haruaki
    Ugh! All my memories suck!
[08:56] Amaaki
    See? I told you.
[09:00] Amaaki
    Haru's not capable of being a teacher.
[09:03] Mom
    Ame! How could you say that?
[09:05] Amaaki
    Hey, Mom. Hermondes is on TV.
[09:09] Mom
    Oh, I almost forgot!
[09:11] Mom
    Hermondes! Hermondes!
[09:14] Amaaki
    Hey, blondie.
[09:16] Amaaki
    You know most of the details, don't you?
[09:18] Amaaki
    Haru and youkai don't go well together.
[09:22] Sano
    You're right.
[09:23] Amaaki
    Which means...
[09:26] Amaaki
    Go on. Get outta here.
[09:29] Hijita; Mamekichi; Beniko
    What's the big idea?!
[09:30] Amaaki
    I'm gonna make him quit school.
[09:33] Haruaki
    You're not the boss of me!
[09:36] Amaaki
    In the end, humans and youkai...
[09:38] Amaaki
    live in completely separate worlds.
[09:41] Amaaki
    Never come close to Haru again.
[09:46] Mamekichi
    Hey! Don't mess with us, Doppel!
[09:53] Sano
    That's too bad. I bought five different
    kinds of uniforms as a gift...
[09:59] Sano
    I guess I can't give them to you now.
[10:02] Haruaki
    S-Sano-kun...
[10:07] Haruaki
    Is that... true, Sa—
[10:13] Sano
    All right. Let's head home.
[10:15] Haruaki
    Huh?! Hey, wait—
[10:17] Small Old Man
    Thank you for watching!
SIGN    Thank you
    for watching!!
SIGN    Please look forward to
    seeing Haruaki-sensei
    in the next life!!
[10:19] Small Old Man
    Please look forward to seeing
    Haruaki-sensei in the next life!
[10:22] Haruaki
    Wait! Don't end the show!
[10:24] Haruaki
    Please have some hope for me in this life still!
SIGN    Thank you
    for watching!!
SIGN    Please look forward to
    seeing Haruaki-sensei
    in the next life!!
SIGN    Thank you
    for watching!!
SIGN    Please look forward to
    seeing Haruaki-sensei
    in the next life!!
SIGN    Thank you
    for watching!!
SIGN    Please look forward to
    seeing Haruaki-sensei
    in the next life!!
SIGN    Thank you
    for watching!!
SIGN    Please look forward to
    seeing Haruaki-sensei
    in the next life!!
[10:29] Haruaki
    It'll go on a little bit longer.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[10:38] Haruaki
    Ame! How could you do that to all of them?
[10:41] Amaaki
    This is for your sake.
[10:43] Amaaki
    If you truly care about them,
    then you shouldn't go back.
[10:48] Hijita
    Uh...
SIGN    Mame
    again
[10:50] Hijita
    Maybe chill with that brother
    complex of yours, dude.
[10:53] Haruaki
    Hijita-kun! Maizuka-kun!
[11:00] Haruaki
    Ame?!
[11:02] Amaaki
    Youkai... Youkai...
[11:04] Haruaki
    I had no idea Ame had this
    much trouble around youkai...
[11:08] Mom
    I'm sorry Ame was so rude to you.
[11:12] Mom
    Honestly, where did his
    brother complex go wrong?
[11:15] Haruaki
    I know he's doing this for my sake, but...
[11:19] Haruaki
    Ame would always pick fights
    with so many people, so...
[11:24] (Flashback) Student 1
    I heard the Abe brothers
    punched a third-year senpai.
[11:27] (Flashback) Student 2
    Yikes! Better stay away.
SIGN    Let's go,
    Haru
[11:28] Amaaki
    Let's go, Haru
[11:29] (Flashback) Haruaki
    H-Huh?!
[11:31] Haruaki
    I wasn't able to make any friends.
[11:34] All
    That's unfortunate.
[11:37] Mom
    Oh, right! I have a request for all of you.
[11:41] Mom
    Our shri—
SIGN    Wisteria
    Festival
SIGN    Abe
    Shrine
[11:43] Mom
    Ahem. The shrine next door
    is having a festival tonight,
SIGN    Abe Shrine
[11:47] Mom
    so I was wondering if you
    could help with the stalls.
[11:50] Haruaki
    I also came home to help with those...
[11:53] Haruaki
    But considering the state Ame's in,
[11:55] Haruaki
    it'd be great if you guys could help.
[12:03] Mamekichi
    So many stalls!
[12:05] Haruaki
    I'd like you guys to help with the
    yoyo fishing and the shooting game.
[12:09] Mamekichi
    I wanna do the shooting game.
[12:10] Hijita
    Me, too!
SIGN    Shooting
    Game
[12:12] Beniko
    But man, these prizes
    sure don't motivate you.
SIGN    Shooting
    Game
[12:16] Beniko
    Do you even get customers?
[12:18] Mandragora
    Oh, no!
[12:18] Mamekichi
    Then let's include some of these mandragoras
    randomly growing around here as prizes, too!
[12:22] Haruaki
    Do those just grow wherever?!
[12:25] Mamekichi
    See? Isn't this much better?
[12:27] Mandragoras
    Just try and hit us!
[12:30] Haruaki
    In that case...
[12:32] Mandragora
    Pathetic!
[12:33] Haruaki
    This is impossible!
[12:35] Mamekichi
    Sano-kun, any idea how to make this more fun?
[12:39] Sano
    Well...
SIGN    Haruaki
[12:42] Sano
    Why not make it point-based?
    Make a target, like this.
[12:46] Haruaki
    Hey.
[12:47] Sano
    What? You want me to add
    a target to your crotch, too?
[12:52] Haruaki
    Hey.
[12:53] Hijita
    Well, we can use mud balls so it doesn't hurt.
[12:56] Hijita
    Then Haruaki won't have
    anything to complain about.
[12:58] Haruaki
    I have nothing but complaints!
[13:02] Beniko
    Hey, Seimei, watch out.
[13:04] Haruaki
    Your warning's a bit late!
[13:06] Beniko
    Heck yeah! I won a Chuiwich!
[13:08] Haruaki
    Hey! The crowd's going to be here soon.
SIGN    Baby Castella
SIGN    Shooting
    Game
[13:11] Haruaki
    Also, we're not at youkai school
    right now, so no doing youkai things!
SIGN    Spiral Potatoes
[13:15] Sano
    I didn't do anything youkai-ish.
[13:17] Haruaki
    True. But you also did
    the most inhuman thing.
[13:32] Haruaki
    What's with this lineup?
SIGN    Yoyo Fishing
[13:34] Sano
    Are you feeling better?
[13:36] Amaaki
    I can't sleep on my mom's lap forever.
[13:39] Amaaki
    And I don't want to rely on you youkai, either.
[13:42] Sano
    Oh, I see.
[13:43] Haruaki
    Er, I'll go buy us something
    to eat. What do you guys want?
[13:47] Amaaki
    Thanks, Haru. I'll have yakisoba.
[13:50] Sano
    A candied apple, baby castella,
    cotton candy, takoyaki,
[13:54] Sano
    a chocolate banana, and a spiral potato.
[13:56] Amaaki
    Hey, show some restraint.
[14:03] Amaaki
    Crap. I'm alone with a yakubyougami.
[14:07] Amaaki
    Damn it... If only I had the power
    to exorcise demons, like Haru!
[14:12] Sano
    You don't have the power to exorcise demons?
[14:15] Amaaki
    It's not just me.
[14:17] Amaaki
    The power to exorcise demons was
    passed down through generations,
[14:21] Amaaki
    but it got weaker with each one
    as the bloodline got thinner.
[14:23] Amaaki
    Our shrine is also just a normal shrine.
SIGN    Wagyu Steak Skewers
[14:27] Sano
    I thought it was a bit weird
    that Mame and the others
[14:29] Sano
    didn't seem to notice
    anything at this shrine.
[14:32] Sano
    That must be why.
[14:35] Sano
    But in that case, what's the
    deal with Seimei's powers?
[14:39] Sano
    He definitely doesn't seem to be weak.
[14:41] Amaaki
    That's because...
[14:43] Amaaki
    Apparently, Haru received a stronger
    version of our family's powers at birth.
[14:49] Amaaki
    A long time ago...
[14:52] (Flashback) Dad
    Ame...
[14:55] (Flashback) Dad
    Don't go near that door.
[14:58] (Flashback) Amaaki
    Why?
[14:59] (Flashback) Dad
    There's a super scary youkai in there.
[15:02] (Flashback) Amaaki
    A youkai?! I-Is it strong?
SIGN    Grandpaaki
[15:06] Dad
    Your great-grandfather just
    barely managed to seal it away.
[15:11] (Flashback) Dad
    The only one who can defeat it is probably
    one of our super powerful ancestors.
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Two
SIGN    One
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Two
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Two
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Two
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Two
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Two
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Two
SIGN    Three
SIGN    One
SIGN    Two
SIGN    Three
SIGN    One
SIGN    Two
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Two
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Two
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Two
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Two
SIGN    Three
[15:27] (Flashback) Amaaki
    Dad! The door's broken!
[15:34] (Flashback) Dad and Amaaki
    Sheeeh!
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[15:42] Small Old Man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
[15:45] Small Old Man
    Shunoban.
[15:46] Small Old Man
    If you run into this guy, he'll steal
    your soul, like the Grim Reaper.
[15:53] (Flashback) Amaaki
    I-I've gotta run!
[16:04] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Ame?
[16:06] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Ame!
[16:07] (Flashback) Haruaki
    There's trouble! Big trouble!
[16:09] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Huh? It won't open.
[16:11] (Flashback) Amaaki
    H-Haru!
[16:13] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Ame! Open up!
[16:15] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Come on, Ame!
[16:17] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Open up!
[16:22] (Flashback) Amaaki
    Haru!
[16:24] (Flashback) Amaaki
    Ru—
[16:25] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Jeez, don't be so mean!
[16:38] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Oh, you're supposed to pull
    on this door, not push.
[16:47] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Ame! This is huge!
[16:49] (Flashback) Haruaki
    There's a super cute uniform on TV!
[16:52] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Let's watch together!
[16:54] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Come on! Come on!
[16:59] Amaaki
    When Haru was little, he mixed
    our dad's Kansai dialect
[17:02] Amaaki
    and our mom's Tokyo dialect
    together and sounded super weird.
[17:07] Amaaki
    But that was another dumb thing
    that made him stupidly cute and...
[17:11] Sano
    Pretty sure that wasn't the
    moral of this flashback.
[17:16] Sano
    Then you should've told Haruaki about youkai
    and his power to exorcise demons earlier.
[17:21] Amaaki
    The thing is...
[17:23] Amaaki
    Before Haru could actually
    acknowledge any youkai existing,
[17:26] Amaaki
    he'd end up exterminating
    them or chasing them away,
[17:29] Amaaki
    so I kept losing my chances to tell him.
[17:32] Amaaki
    He was just too powerful, so I gave
    him some beads to help control that.
[17:37] Sano
    Why is it just him?
[17:40] Sano
    His deviancy is probably the
    only unique trait he needed.
[17:43] Amaaki
    This is just my speculation, but...
[17:46] Amaaki
    Do you believe in reincarnation?
[17:50] Sano
    I don't believe in anything
    unscientific like that.
[17:52] Amaaki
    Says the literal yakubyougami.
SIGN    Yakubyougami
[17:57] Amaaki
    Anyway, I don't approve of
    Haru going to youkai school.
[18:01] Amaaki
    I couldn't care less if any
    of you got exterminated.
[18:08] Amaaki
    But I don't want Haru getting hurt.
[18:15] Sano
    If that ever happens, I'll deal with it.
SIGN    Yoyo Fishing
[18:19] Amaaki
    What?
[18:20] Sano
    It's true that Seimei's powers are strong.
[18:20] Haruaki
    Sorry to keep—
[18:23] Sano
    But compared to Mame and the others,
[18:25] Sano
    the power to exorcise demons shouldn't
    work as much on a yakubyougami.
[18:31] Sano
    If there's a chance that the
    youkai are going to be harmed...
[18:38] Sano
    I'll be there to stop him.
[18:43] Amaaki
    Like I could ever trust a yakubyougami!
[18:46] Sano
    What are you talking about?
[18:48] Sano
    It's not me that you don't
    trust. It's your brother.
[18:53] Sano
    If you actually have a brother complex,
[18:55] Sano
    then you need to believe in how hard he's
    trying to be a teacher and support him.
[19:00] Sano
    He's basically risking his life for this job.
[19:05] Sano
    It's true that he's a pervert
    and mean, but somehow cocky.
[19:08] Sano
    He always ends up in some kind
    of trouble when he's working.
[19:12] Sano
    But...
[19:13] Sano
    I think the fact that he still does his best
[19:17] Sano
    is what makes him a great teacher.
[19:24] Sano
    Gah.
[19:25] Haruaki
    S-S-S-Sano-kun!
SIGN    Yoyo Fishing
[19:31] Haruaki
    I'm happy! I'm so happy!
[19:35] Haruaki
    I-I also want to do my best
    as a teacher at youkai school!
[19:39] Haruaki
    From now on and forever!
[19:42] Amaaki
    Haru...
[19:43] Sano
    Uh-huh... and?
[19:52] Haruaki
    I'm sorry, Sano-kun! I'm so sorry!
[19:55] Haruaki
    Huh? Hey, wait! What're you gonna do?
[19:57] Haruaki
    Untie me!
[19:59] Haruaki
    Wait, that?!
[20:01] Sano
    Stay perfectly still.
[20:03] Haruaki
    Wait, no...
[20:05] Sano
    This is gonna be a lot of fun!
[20:05] Amaaki
    Well, do your best.
SIGN    Don't try this at home, kids
[20:13] Small Old Man
    Don't try this at home, kids.
[20:19] Mom
    Okay, Haru. Be careful getting back.
[20:22] Haruaki
    I will. Thanks, Mom.
[20:24] Dad
    Your fath— This fairy
    is also rooting for you.
[20:28] Haruaki
    Thanks, random fairy guy.
[20:32] Amaaki
    Hey, Yakubyougami.
[20:35] Amaaki
    I'm leaving Haru to you.
[20:38] Sano
    Yeah, sure.
SIGN    Shinkansen Tracks
[20:40] Announcement
    The Nozomi 13 departing at 10:17
[20:45] Announcement
    is now arriving on track 22.
[20:51] Haruaki
    Hey! Our Shinkansen is the
    one that just got announced!
[20:54] All
    What?!
[20:54] Haruaki
    Let's go, everyone! See you later!
[21:01] Mom
    Looks like Haru's doing good as a teacher.
[21:04] Dad
    Yeah.
[21:09] Old lady
    Darling.
[21:10] Flirt
    Honey.
[21:12] Haruaki
    We barely made it.
[21:15] Hijita
    Anyway, we're going home already, Seimei?
[21:18] Haruaki
    Yeah. I just couldn't wait
    to get back to school.
[21:29] Sano
    Hey, look.
[21:31] Haruaki
    Ame?
[21:33] Sano
    What's he saying?
[21:35] Hijita
    No idea.
[21:38] Haruaki
    I understood him.
[21:41] Haruaki
    We're twins, after all!
[21:43] Amaaki
    Haru! Do your best!
[21:44] Amaaki
    Your big brother's rooting for you!
SIGN    Haruaki
[21:47] Haruaki
    Yeah, I'll be okay. Don't worry.
[21:54] Amaaki
    Haru!
[21:58] Amaaki
    Haru...
[22:02] Amaaki
    That Shinkansen...
SIGN    Sanyo Kyushu Shinkansen
    Bound for Hiroshima and Hakata
SIGN    Nozomi 13 10:17 Hakata
SIGN    Kodama 131 10:25
[22:05] Amaaki
    is headed to Hakata.
SIGN    Hakata
[22:07] Small Old Man
    That's the opposite direction.

Season 1

6 - Sports Day at Ghoul School!! ~Commences~

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Haruaki
    The human-faced rock that Maizuka-kun
    was on top of suddenly lost control!
[00:05] Haruaki
    Damn it!
[00:07] Kurahashi
    Wow, Sensei's fast.
[00:09] Haruaki
    Stop!
[00:13] Kurahashi
    Sensei, up ahead is...
[00:17] Sano
    Seimei!
[00:18] Kurahashi
    Sensei! Maizuka-kun!
[00:22] Kurahashi
    A-Are you okay?
[00:24] Haruaki
    We barely survived...
[00:27] Miki
    Hey... What was that loud noise?
[00:31] Kurahashi
    Miki-sensei.
[00:35] Haruaki
    H-Hi there, Miki-sensei.
[00:38] Miki
    I ain't one to judge others
    for what they're into,
[00:42] Miki
    but you shouldn't be doin' this at school.
[00:45] Haruaki
    Does it actually look like
    I'm having fun to you?!
SIGN    Broadcast
[00:54] Haruaki
    We're having all this trouble during prep.
[00:57] Haruaki
    Is the sports day really
    gonna go okay tomorrow?
[01:00] Sano
    We're worried, too.
[01:02] Haruaki
    By the way, Kurahashi-kun, do you
    know the results of the sports day?
[01:06] Kurahashi
    Huh? U-Um...
[01:09] Kurahashi
    Well, I've seen a vision where
    you're wearing only a red loincloth
[01:14] Kurahashi
    as you teach class for
    a day as punishment...
[01:18] Sano
    I'm pretty sure it's our
    punishment if we have to see that.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
SIGN    Episode 6
    "Sports Day at
    Ghoul School!!
    Commences"
[02:55] Principal
    We will now officially commence
    sports day at Hyakki Academy!
SIGN    Broadcast
SIGN    HQ
[03:07] Principal
    To ensure you don't bring
    shame to the youkai name,
[03:09] Principal
    please work together with your fellow
    classmates, and play fair and square.
[03:15] Haruaki
    So exciting! So exciting! So exciting!
[03:15] Hatanaka
    Why are you using a parasol?
SIGN    Fire
[03:18] Principal
    Now, the six classes in each grade
    will be competing against each other,
[03:23] Principal
    but for the classes who score
    the lowest in each grade...
[03:27] Principal
    Well...
[03:29] Principal
    we'll have you disappear.
[03:31] All
    Huh?!
SIGN    Huh?!
[03:34] Principal
    That is... your teacher's salary will disappear.
[03:38] Teachers
    Huh?
[03:41] Nezumi
    Hey! This is clearly an abuse of power!
[03:43] Haruaki
    Yeah! Yeah!
[03:44] Hatanaka
    Give me a break!
    I've got three kids at home!
[03:48] Haruaki
    Yeah! Yeah!
[03:49] Miki
    Regardless of the results,
    the principal wins.
[03:52] Haruaki
    Yeah! Yeah!
[03:54] Principal
    Oh?
[03:55] Principal
    You don't seem that opposed
    to this, Haruaki-kun.
[03:58] Principal
    In that case, how about you lose your pay...
[04:01] Principal
    and also have to spend the day
    wearing just a red loincloth?
[04:05] Haruaki
    A red loincloth? A loincloth?
[04:08] Haruaki
    But why?!
[04:10] Principal
    Because I said so.
[04:15] Haruaki
    P-P-P-P-Please! Anything but that!
[04:16] Principal
    Hey! Stop! You're acting
    anything but human lately!
[04:18] Haruaki
    Please, no! Please!
[04:26] Shikajima
    Hey, isn't that the human teacher
    everyone's talking about?
[04:29] Shikajima
    What the hell, man?
[04:31] Boy A
    H-Hey! Look at that.
[04:33] Shikajima
    Whoa! What's with that class?
[04:36] Shikajima
    They're shockingly unbothered!
[04:39] Shikajima
    Hey, Hijita. Are your class
    and teacher actually okay?
[04:44] Hijita
    Huh?
[04:46] Hijita
    Are you guys okay?
[04:49] Hijita
    If you reacted to everything
    like this, you'd die!
[04:54] Hijita
    There's no way in hell our teacher
[04:58] Hijita
    won't mess something up
    at an event this huge!
[05:00] Fujihira
    Just how is this gonna end?
    I don't wanna die yet!
[05:06] Shikajima
    What the hell is wrong with them?
[05:11] Haruaki
    I embarrassed myself right from the start...
[05:14] Miki
    More importantly, we need to get to work.
[05:18] Miki
    Your job will be to retrieve and check
    the papers for the scavenger hunt relay.
[05:23] Haruaki
    Oh, cool! A scavenger hunt relay!
SIGN    Program
     One: Scavenger Hunt Relay
    Two: Mandragora Toss
    Three: Human-Faced Rock Roll
    Four: Mock Cavalry Battle
    Five: Group Formations
SIGN    m 0 0 l 100 0 100 550 0 550
[05:27] Haruaki
    I guess I start with an event
    for the second-years.
[05:29] Miki
    Who's gonna be participatin' from Class 3?
[05:32] Haruaki
    From our class, it'll be Maizuka-kun,
    Zashiki-san, and Hijita-kun.
SIGN    Anchor
[05:37] Haruaki
    All right! I'm gonna do my
    best and cheer them on!
[05:40] Miki
    All right, our sports day
    has officially begun.
[05:43] Miki
    Our first event will be the second-year
    students' scavenger hunt relay!
[05:47] Mujina
    Which one's Mame?
[05:49] Tamao
    The third from the end.
[05:50] Tamao
    They're lined up by class.
[05:54] Mujina
    Wait, the one who's commentating
    is Miki, isn't it?
[05:57] Mujina
    I guess he can actually
    speak standard Japanese.
[05:59] Miki
    On your marks... get set...
[06:03] Mamekichi
    Transform into someone with powerful legs!
[06:12] Nyuudou
    Th-That's terrifying!
[06:14] Miki
    So fast! Too fast, Class 3!
[06:15] Students
    What the hell?!
[06:17] Miki
    He turned into something creepy and
    managed to get to the item boxes first!
[06:25] Mamekichi
    Let's see...
[06:33] Student B
    "S-Someone you secretly like"?!
SIGN    Someone you
    secretly like
[06:36] Nyuudou
    Wait, he's heading over here!
[06:38] Maeda
    That's no youkai!
[06:39] Maeda
    That's a monster!
SIGN    Omame
[06:43] Mamekichi
    I'm borrowing Sano-kun!
SIGN    Omame
[06:45] Sano
    Huh?
[06:46] Nyuudou
    Wh-What was the item?
SIGN    Best Friend
SIGN    Maizuka
SIGN    Best Friend
SIGN    Maizuka
SIGN    Best Friend
[06:55] Sano
    Mame...
[06:56] Nyuudou
    That's creepy! Just get goin' already!
[06:59] Mamekichi
    Hup.
[06:59] Miki
    And Class 3 has handed off
    the sash to the next runner.
[07:04] Beniko
    Nice work, troll! I mean...
    Nice work, Mame!
[07:07] Miki
    What's this?
[07:08] Miki
    Class 2 is right on her tail! Way to go, Class 2!
[07:12] Haruaki
    Miki-sensei, could you not just
    favor your class in the commentary?
[07:16] Haruaki
    You've got this, Zashiki-san!
[07:18] Miki
    Hey!
[07:19] Miki
    No cheering from my mic!
[07:23] Miki
    Great job, Class 2! They caught up!
[07:26] Beniko
    Tch. Please be something simple.
SIGN    The holy sword
    born from the
    mouth of a volcano:
    Excalibur
[07:31] Beniko
    "The holy sword born from the
    mouth of a volcano: Excalibur."
[07:37] Girl A
    Excalibur?
[07:43] Beniko
    Leave this to me!
SIGN    Hyakki Academy Sports Day
[07:45] Miki
    Wow, looks like Class 3 has left the school.
[07:48] Miki
    Where are you going?
SIGN    Hyakki Academy Sports Day
[07:49] Girl A
    Wait, is she going to
    the mouth of a volcano?
SIGN    Hyakki Academy Sports Day
[07:52] Girl A
    To get the sword?!
[07:54] Haruaki
    Is Zashiki-san going to be okay?
[07:56] Miki
    Come on, now! Go check
    the first runners' items!
[08:00] Haruaki
    Oh, right!
[08:02] Haruaki
    That was really fast, Maizuka-kun.
[08:04] Haruaki
    Could you let me see the item slip?
[08:06] Mamekichi
    Sure.
SIGN    Best Friend
[08:07] Mamekichi
    It's "best friend," so I chose Sano-kun!
[08:10] Haruaki
    Yup, you pass.
[08:12] Miki
    Next up, Class 1 has also
    connected to the second runner!
[08:12] Boy B
    Pass!
[08:13] Mamekichi
    Hey.
[08:16] Mamekichi
    Um, is it okay if I keep this item slip?
[08:20] Mamekichi
    I want it as a keepsake.
[08:22] Haruaki
    Sure.
[08:24] Mamekichi
    Yay! Thanks, Seimei-kun!
[08:26] Girl B
    What was your item?
[08:26] Mamekichi
    Yay! Now to just put this in an album.
[08:28] Boy B
    I forget...
[08:29] Girl B
    Why'd you bring me here?
SIGN    Someone you
    secretly like
[08:32] Boy B
    Huh? My slip... I guess
    I dropped it somewhere.
[08:35] Haruaki
    What? You lost your slip?
[08:37] Boy B
    Huh? Well...
[08:40] Haruaki
    Okay, do another lap.
[08:42] Boy B
    R-Right!
[08:45] Mamekichi
    Huh? Who threw trash away here?
[08:49] Mamekichi
    This is the first step to
    destroying nature. Honestly...
[08:52] Mamekichi
    I'll throw it away later.
[08:54] Miki
    Looks like several students
    are struggling with their items.
[08:58] Crowd 1
    Anyone seen a tsuchinoko?!
[09:00] Crowd 2
    Anyone have a Nessie on them?
[09:02] Miki
    How's this going to end?!
[09:05] Hijita
    Dang, every group's to their anchors already.
[09:08] Hijita
    Is Zashiki really okay?
[09:10] Zashiki
    Hijita! Sorry to keep you waiting!
[09:13] Zashiki
    I brought the holy sword Excalibur!
[09:17] Hijita
    Zashi... B-Beniko-chan?!
[09:20] Beniko
    I went to my dorm to grab it.
[09:22] Hijita
    You own this?!
[09:24] Beniko
    Never thought getting this sword from
    the mouth of a volcano ages ago
[09:27] Beniko
    would come in handy now.
SIGN    If you need to
    sell some gear
[09:30] Beniko
    You'll get 100 poko for it if
    you sell it at a weapons shop.
[09:33] Hijita
    Where's that currency even from?!
[09:35] Beniko
    Just shut up and go
    already! Here's the sash!
[09:39] Beniko
    If we place last, you're gonna
    be that sword's first victim!
[09:44] Hijita
    That's no holy sword! That's a demon sword!
[09:48] Haruaki
    Okay.
[09:49] Crowd B
    A tsuchinoko... A tsuchinoko!
[09:51] Crwod C
    Anyone have a UFO on them?
[09:54] Hijita
    Looks like the other anchors
    are struggling, too.
[09:56] Hijita
    As long as I don't get something like
    "someone you secretly like," I'll be able to—
SIGN    A classmate
    you secretly hate
[10:00] Hijita
    win...
[10:04] Hijita
    N-No way!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[10:13] Hijita
    N-No way!
SIGN    A classmate you secretly hate
SIGN    A classmate you secretly hate
SIGN    A classmate you secretly hate
SIGN    A classmate you secretly hate
SIGN    A classmate you secretly hate
[10:22] Tamao
    Hijita's completely stopped moving.
[10:25] Mujina
    What're you doing?! Run, Koutarou!
[10:29] Hijita
    You can't be serious!
[10:30] Hijita
    Who the hell thought of this task?!
    It's gonna ruin friendships!
[10:34] Hijita
    But I don't have time to complain.
[10:36] Hijita
    Think... Think, Koutarou!
[10:39] Hijita
    Let's do process of elimination!
[10:40] Hijita
    The girls are totally out of the question.
[10:42] Hijita
    No matter whom I choose,
    I know that starting tomorrow,
[10:44] Hijita
    they're all going to band
    together and be my enemies.
[10:47] Hijita
    If I manage to make one of them cry...
[10:50] Koizumi
    Forget you, you stupid Hijita!
[10:52] Renjou
    Die! Make it up to her by
    cutting open your stomach!
[10:54] Girls
    Yeah! Yeah!
[10:56] Beniko
    How you like that?
[10:56] Hijita
    Then how about Zashiki?!
[10:58] Haruaki
    Wow!
[11:00] Hijita
    She hardly ever hangs out with other girls.
[11:02] Hijita
    We've known each other since we were babies.
[11:05] Hijita
    I'm sure she'd understand!
[11:07] (Flashback) Beniko
    You suck as a chair, you useless oaf.
[11:09] (Flashback) Hijita
    That's not fair!
[11:11] Hijita
    But... because we've been friends forever,
    she's close with my family, too.
[11:16] Hijita
    If my mom or sister hear about this...
[11:20] Hijita Mom
    Koutarou, how could you
    embarrass a girl like that?!
SIGN    Mama-tan
SIGN    Sister-tan
[11:24] Hijita Sister
    Cut open your stomach now and
    apologize! You absolute trash!
[11:28] Hijita
    No!
[11:29] Hijita
    In the end, the world is
    just going to tear me down.
[11:33] Hijita
    But Mame and Sano are
    also out of the question!
[11:35] Hijita
    I just really don't want them to dislike me.
[11:39] Hijita
    If Nyuudou, whom I share a dorm
    and class with, hates me,
[11:42] Hijita
    my daily life's going to be ruined, as well.
[11:45] Hijita
    That trio's out of the question, too.
[11:47] Hijita
    Damn it! Why am I just
    surrounded by good people?
[11:56] Mamekichi
    Hiji-tan!
[11:59] Mamekichi
    You've got this!
[12:01] Beniko
    Stop wasting time, Hijita!
[12:03] Mamekichi
    Hiji-tan! Hiji-tan! You've got this!
[12:06] Hijita
    That piece of paper...
[12:10] Hijita
    Mame! You took Sano to the goal
    earlier, but what was your item?
[12:15] Mamekichi
    Huh? It was "best friend"!
[12:18] Hijita
    That's it!
SIGN    Best Friend
[12:21] Hijita
    Please!
[12:23] Hijita
    Don't ask any questions and let me
    borrow what's in your hand there!
[12:25] Mamekichi
    What? This garbage? Sure, I guess.
[12:28] Hijita
    Thanks!
[12:29] Hijita
    This is a bit cheap, but I have
    no choice but to change my item.
[12:32] Hijita
    Now to just... find someone who's not here...
[12:35] Hijita
    Hey, where's Sano?
[12:36] Mamekichi
    Sano-kun went to the bathroom.
    The one behind the school.
[12:40] Hijita
    Heck yeah! Perfect!
[12:49] Hijita
    Sano!
[12:51] Hijita
    Please! Let me borrow you for a bit!
[12:53] Sano
    Huh? Me again? What the hell is the item?
[12:57] Hijita
    I'll explain later! Just come with me!
[13:00] Sano
    At least let me wash my hands!
[13:01] Hijita
    That'll have to wait, too!
[13:05] Nyuudou
    Just how far did Hijita go to
    get something, and what is it?
[13:08] Tamao
    The anchors for the other classes
    are going to reach the goal!
[13:11] Hijita
    That's not happening!
[13:14] Miki
    Looks like Class 3's anchor is back!
[13:17] Hijita
    Heck yeah!
[13:19] Haruaki
    Hijita-kun! You've got this!
[13:21] Haruaki
    If you pass the student in
    front of you, you'll be first!
[13:23] Miki
    Hey! Don't go stealin' my mic!
[13:26] Hijita
    They don't call me "Koutarou Hijita
    the Galewind Mud Ball" for nothing!
[13:30] Sano
    You actually had a nickname that lame?
[13:33] Hijita
    I gave it to myself just now!
[13:39] Miki
    And he passed them! Class 3 has come in first!
[13:42] All
    Yeah!
SIGN    Victory
[13:45] Beniko and Mamekichi
    We did it!
[13:50] Hijita
    Heck yeah! Thanks, Sano.
[13:53] Sano
    Yeah, sure.
[13:54] Haruaki
    Hijita-kun!
SIGN    Sliiiiiiiide
[13:57] Hijita
    He just got here using uniform linear motion!
[14:01] Haruaki
    That was amazing! You did it!
[14:04] Sano
    More importantly, let's see your
    item. What if you got it wrong?
[14:08] Hijita
    O-Oh, right...
SIGN    Someone you
    secretly like
[14:12] Hijita
    It's sorta embarrassing
    telling you this in person.
SIGN    Someone you
    secretly like
[14:17] Sano
    Huh?
SIGN    Someone you
    secretly like
SIGN    Qualified as Item
[14:28] Haruaki
    Y-You pass!
SIGN    Someone You Secretly Like
SIGN    Someone you
    secretly like
SIGN    Someone you
    secretly like
SIGN    Someone you
    secretly like
[14:36] Hijita
    N-No way!
[14:55] Hijita
    Wh-Wh-What the hell is this?!
[15:00] Haruaki
    Eek! Eek! Oh, no! How lewd!
[15:06] Hijita
    It's not... Sano!
    Th-This is some sort of mistake!
[15:09] Sano
    Hijita...
[15:10] Hijita
    Oh, this dumb piece of paper.
    I'm just gonna eat it up.
[15:14] Sano
    Sorry, Hijita, but let's just stay friends.
[15:18] Sano
    B-Bye...
[15:20] Hijita
    Y-You've got the...
[15:22] Hijita
    You've got the wrong idea, damn it!
[15:25] Hijita
    Damn it!
[15:25] Haruaki
    Um... d-don't sweat it...
[15:26] Hijita
    Damn it!
[15:27] Hijita
    Damn it!
[15:29] Small Old Man
    So what happened after that?
[15:32] Miki
    Things are starting to heat up with
    the first-years and the ball toss...
[15:36] Miki
    or rather, the mandragora toss.
[15:38] Miki
    But the mandragoras keep
    randomly exiting the baskets!
[15:43] Haruaki
    The mandragora toss, huh?
[15:44] Miki
    Abe-sensei, if you keep spacing out,
    an errant mandragora will...
[15:49] Haruaki
    Huh?
[15:49] Mandragora
    Ouch!
[15:51] Miki
    The current, very obvious winner
    is Class 1 in first place!
SIGN    First Aid
[15:57] Miki
    Now, what did I tell you?
[16:00] Marshmallow
    Sorry.
[16:02] Haruaki
    You should've warned me earlier!
[16:05] Nyuudou
    Oh, there you are, Seimei.
[16:09] Kuniko
    For the mock cavalry battle,
[16:10] Kuniko
    we tried to come up with a
    formation based on your advice.
[16:13] Kuniko
    Could you look at this
    and see if it's okay?
[16:16] Haruaki
    Wow, of course!
[16:18] Miki
    You get over things quick!
[16:22] Haruaki
    Maybe we should split Kurahashi-kun
    and Zashiki-san up.
[16:27] Haruaki
    Zashiki-san should... Wait, you
    can't look at this, Miki-sensei!
[16:31] Haruaki
    Bad!
[16:32] Miki
    Tch. He caught on.
[16:34] Miki
    Welp, I'm gonna go look
    at my class's formation.
[16:37] Miki
    You there. Could you do
    the commentary in my place?
[16:50] Marshmallow
    Though I'm clearly unqualified,
[16:51] Marshmallow
    I, Marshmallow, will be taking over
    as commentator in Miki-sensei's place.
[16:54] Marshmallow
    To all the first-years, that was a
    brilliant display of mandragora tossing!
[16:58] Hatanaka
    What's with you, Miki? You seem
    to be in a rather good mood.
[17:02] Miki
    Oh, nothing...
[17:04] Miki
    Just thinkin' sports day is
    startin' to get real fun.
[17:14] Marshmallow
    Next up on the program, we have a mock
    cavalry battle with the second-years!
[17:18] Marshmallow
    Four or five students will
    create a horse and a rider,
[17:21] Marshmallow
    and then use their youkai
    magic and athletic skills
[17:23] Marshmallow
    to try to take the other
    team's rider's headband.
[17:28] Mandragora
    You've got this, you've
    got this, second-years!
[17:31] Marshmallow
    The score will be decided by how many
    headbands the riders have when time is up!
[17:41] Oota
    It's starting! Okay, let's carry
    out Seimei-sensei's plan!
[17:46] Twins
    I guess you're really doing this, Oota.
[17:48] Kuniko
    Uh, really?
[18:00] All
    What the—
[18:05] Beniko
    All right!
[18:07] Marshmallow
    U-Unbelievable!
[18:08] Marshmallow
    The daidarabocchi horse just
    hid his teammates in his mouth!
[18:12] Hatanaka
    I-I guess they would be untouchable then...
[18:16] Miki
    But they won't be able to
    take any headbands, either.
[18:19] Haruaki
    The students asked me to figure
    out a way for them to survive
[18:23] Haruaki
    even if they're bad at sports.
[18:25] Haruaki
    And our strike team consists of the speedy
    team of the light-footed Sano-kun,
[18:30] Haruaki
    the swift Akisame-kun, and
    Yanagida-kun as the horses!
[18:33] Mamekichi
    Transform!
[18:34] Mamekichi
    Helping hand grabber!
[18:36] Sano; Akisame; Yanagida
    Go!
[18:38] Mamekichi
    Hup!
[18:41] Haruaki
    Now we've got a bunch of headbands!
[18:46] Yanagida
    Yeah! Now we've got all the headbands...
[18:51] Yanagida
    Oh?
[18:52] Mamekichi
    O-Oh, no!
[18:54] Yanagida
    "Oh, no," my ass, you dumb tanuki!
[18:57] Marshmallow
    They were going so fast that
    their rider got bucked off!
[19:01] Mamekichi
    Tee-hee!
[19:04] Haruaki
    Huh? No way!
[19:07] Kurahashi
    O-Our best team just got defeated...
[19:09] Nyuudou
    More like they self-destructed.
[19:11] Mujina
    Hey, more importantly...
[19:13] Fighting team
    That's mine!
[19:14] Fighting team
    No, that's mine!
[19:14] Mujina
    They're fighting over us.
[19:17] Nyuudou
    They're underestimating us because
    we can't use youkai magic.
[19:21] Kurahashi
    What should we do? Run?
[19:23] Nyuudou
    No, I don't think we could
    actually outrun them.
[19:26] Nyuudou
    Let's just wait for our
    enemies to get closer.
[19:29] (Flashback) Haruaki
    If the enemy corners you,
    wait until the last second...
[19:32] Nyuudou
    We'll lure the enemy to us
    up until the last second...
[19:34] Shikajima
    Hell yeah! You're ours!
[19:37] Nyuudou
    Now, Kurahashi! Predict a catastrophe
    for the one in front of us!
[19:40] Kurahashi
    What?!
[19:47] Kurahashi
    What? Seriously?
[19:49] Shikajima
    Wait, what? What kind of future do you see?
[19:52] Kurahashi
    The only future for you... is the
    one where I take your headband!
[19:56] Shikajima
    He got me!
[19:58] Haruaki
    Did you see that? That was
    Kurahashi-kun's prediction attack!
[20:02] Small old man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary!
[20:05] Small old man
    A kudan! A youkai that's
    half human and half bull.
[20:08] Small old man
    They predict catastrophes!
[20:11] Miki
    That was quite the strategy.
[20:11] Haruaki and mandragoras
    Heck yeah, heck yeah, Kurahashi!
[20:13] Miki
    But they're sorta screwed if they
    get surrounded, aren't they?
[20:17] Nyuudou
    Crap!
[20:19] Marshmallow
    And Team Nyuudou is completely surrounded!
[20:22] Kurahashi
    We're done for!
[20:25] Nyuudou
    No, our reinforcements just arrived!
[20:31] Student D
    Impossible!
[20:32] Miki
    That's Hijita's youkai magic, magic mud!
[20:35] Hatanaka
    And...
[20:38] Hatanaka
    A merman who's floating through the air!
[20:42] Marshmallow
    The other two are just hanging on, but
    they're elegantly snatching those headbands!
[20:48] Nezumi-sensei
    You're pretty good at this.
[20:50] Marshmallow
    But now the airborne youkai have
    all started to attack at once!
[20:57] Marshmallow
    And he dodged them!
    What a brilliant quick turn!
[20:59] Marshmallow
    That was amazing! That merman named...
[21:01] Marshmallow
    Hey, what's that merman's name?
[21:04] Nezumi
    I dunno.
[21:05] Maeda
    I'm Maeda!
[21:07] Marshmallow
    Yes! Maeda-kun! Maeda-kun from Class 2-3!
[21:11] Haruaki
    You've got this, Maeda-kun!
    Hijita-kun! Momoyama-san! Akibe-san!
[21:18] Maeda
    Tch. I can't outrun them! In that case...
[21:21] Maeda
    Hijita! Use a mud ball and—
[21:23] All
    What?!
[21:25] Haruaki
    Hijita-kun! Behind you!
[21:26] Hijita
    Don't do quick turns like that...
[21:29] Hijita
    I feel sick...
[21:30] Maeda
    What? You got motion sickness?
[21:32] Maeda
    Don't puke! Don't you dare puke!
[21:34] Marshmallow
    They're catching up to
    Maeda-kun from Class 3!
[21:37] Kuniko
    Not happening!
[21:40] Marshmallow
    I-It's a gashadokuro!
[21:46] Maeda
    Utagawa-san!
[21:47] Kuniko
    Are you all okay?
[21:52] Fujihira
    We're here to back you up!
    We'll support you till the end!
[21:55] Maeda
    That's great! Let's bring this back in
    our favor for Sano and the others, too!
[22:00] Haruaki
    All right! Counterattack time!
[22:02] All
    Yeah!
[22:05] Small old man
    Keep it up, Class 3!
[22:07] Small old man
    The sports day continues!

Season 1

7 - Sports Day at Ghoul School!! ~Finishes~

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Maeda
    Tch. I can't outrun them! In that case...
[00:03] Maeda
    Hijita! Use a mud ball and—
[00:06] All
    What?!
[00:07] Haruaki
    Hijita-kun! Behind you!
[00:09] Hijita
    Don't do quick turns like that...
[00:11] Hijita
    I feel sick...
[00:13] Maeda
    What? You got motion sickness?
[00:14] Maeda
    Don't puke! Don't you dare puke!
[00:17] Marshmallow
    They're catching up to
    Maeda-kun from Class 3!
[00:19] Kuniko
    Not happening!
[00:22] Marshmallow
    I-It's a gashadokuro!
[00:26] Maeda
    Utagawa-san!
[00:27] Kuniko
    Are you all okay?
[00:32] Fujihira
    We're here to back you up!
    We'll support you till the end!
[00:35] Maeda
    That's great! Let's bring this back in
    our favor for Sano and the others, too!
[00:39] Haruaki
    All right! Counterattack time!
[00:42] All
    Yeah!
[00:45] Maeda
    Okay, Hijita. Use your mud balls and...
[00:47] Hijita
    Maeda...
[00:49] Hijita
    I'mma apologize first...
[00:52] Hijita
    I'm so sorr—
SIGN    Gyaaaaaaah
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
[02:31] Marshmallow
    This is unbelievable!
SIGN    Episode 7
    "Sports Day at
    Ghoul School!!
    Finishes"
[02:34] Marshmallow
    Both teams from Class 3
    have been split apart!
[02:38] Mamekichi
    Here, use this bag.
[02:42] Fujihira
    Maeda... Are you okay?
[02:44] Odawara
    This is rough...
[02:45] Marshmallow
    They definitely failed
    this mock cavalry battle!
[02:49] Haruaki
    No freakin' way!
[02:51] Miki
    This is something right out of hell.
[02:53] Hatanaka
    Even I'm starting to feel sick.
SIGN    Oota
[02:57] Hatanaka
    Now Class 3 only has the daidarabocchi
    team that's not moving...
[03:01] Miki
    ...and the kudan team that's
    doing their best to run away.
[03:05] Kurahashi
    We're miraculously somehow still in this!
[03:08] Miki
    The match is gonna be over in a minute...
[03:11] Hatanaka
    Meaning last place is gonna go to Class 3.
[03:15] Principal
    Now, now... You two still
    have much to learn.
[03:19] Principal
    Class 3 has one more team.
[03:22] Beniko
    Seimei!
[03:31] Beniko
    Here you go! I've got a huge haul!
[03:34] Haruaki
    Yes!
[03:35] Miki
    Zashiki-san?!
[03:36] Hatanaka
    I didn't see her, so I thought
    she was inside Oota's mouth.
[03:40] Haruaki
    Maizuka-kun told me before...
[03:45] Haruaki
    that zashikiwarashi are able to
    cloak themselves with youkai magic.
[03:50] Haruaki
    So at the same time Oota-kun turned huge,
[03:53] Haruaki
    I had Zashiki-san's team disappear.
[03:56] Haruaki
    And while the other teams
    were drawing attention,
[03:58] Haruaki
    they were gathering a bunch of headbands.
[04:02] Beniko
    Though I definitely wasn't expecting
    Mame to fall or Hijita to puke...
[04:07] Haruaki
    How you like that?!
[04:12] Principal
    He's managed to put the youkai to work and
    is using their youkai magic very well.
[04:16] Principal
    Haruaki-kun... I believe you really are his...
[04:21] Marshmallow
    And we're done! We will now
    tally up the headbands.
[04:29] Sign
    m 0 0 l 180 0 180 615 0 615
SIGN    2nd-Year Class Score Totals
    Scavenger Hunt Relay | Mock Cavalry Battle | Obstacle Course Relay
SIGN    One || 30 | 140 | |
    Two || 50 | 140 | |
    Three || 60 | 100 | |
    Four || 20 | 90 | |
    Five || 40 | 100 | |
    Six || 10 | 100 | |
[04:30] Haruaki
    The final score for the mock cavalry battle
[04:32] Haruaki
    is the number of headbands from
    surviving members times ten...
[04:35] Sano
    Along with our score from the scavenger
    hunt relay, we're in third place.
[04:39] Sign
    m 0 0 l 25 0 25 615 0 615
SIGN    One
    Two
    Three
    Four
    Five
    Six
[04:39] Haruaki
    We were able to stay in third place because
    of Zashiki-san and the others, but...
[04:43] Sano
    Depending on how the final
    obstacle course relay goes,
[04:46] Sano
    we could either win for our
    grade or end up dead last.
[04:50] Haruaki
    I-It's okay!
[04:51] Haruaki
    With you taking part, we won't get last place!
[04:55] Hatanaka
    Abe-sensei, did you get the tool I asked
    you to get from the gym storage?
[05:00] Haruaki
    Aiyah! I forgot!
[05:02] Hatanaka
    It's fine that you enjoy this,
    but don't forget to work!
[05:05] Haruaki
    I'm sorry!
[05:07] Hatanaka
    Since you're here, go help him out.
[05:12] Haruaki
    I'm sorry you had to come with me, Sano-kun.
[05:15] Sano
    Whatever. Just get the thing and come down.
[05:18] Haruaki
    You're not gonna hit me
    when I come down, are you?
[05:20] Sano
    I'm telling you to come
    down so I can hit you.
[05:22] Haruaki
    Please, no!
[05:27] Sano
    I also have to prepare for the final event.
[05:31] Haruaki
    Oh, right.
[05:33] Haruaki
    I guess we're already on the final event.
[05:35] Haruaki
    And you're the anchor of the
    biggest event, too. Good luck!
[05:38] Sano
    Don't come crying to me if we end up last.
[05:40] Haruaki
    Don't worry! We have you, Sano-kun.
[05:43] Sano
    I was no help at all during
    the mock cavalry battle,
[05:46] Sano
    yet you seem to have a lot of faith in me.
[05:49] Haruaki
    Well, of course.
[05:51] Haruaki
    There's no way I wouldn't believe in you.
[05:54] Sano
    I see.
[05:56] Sano
    Then buy this pot for 500,000.
    It'll bring you happiness.
[06:00] Haruaki
    Don't try to sneakily sell
    me a mysterious pot!
[06:04] Haruaki
    Jeez, talk about evil business practices.
[06:08] Haruaki
    So when do I need to get the 500,000 to you?
[06:13] Sano
    You really need to be careful of scams.
[06:17] Male student
    Up we go...
[06:19] Male student
    Whoa, whoa, whoa...
[06:24] Haruaki
    Whoa!
[06:28] Male student
    I'm so sorry, Sensei!
[06:33] Haruaki
    Ow...
[06:34] Male student
    Are you okay?!
[06:35] Haruaki
    Yeah, I'm fine.
[06:38] Sano
    Tch. You need to pay attention!
[06:40] Haruaki
    Ow!
[06:41] Sano
    Damn it!
[06:50] Hatanaka
    For crying out loud...
[06:53] Hatanaka
    How long can it take them
    just to get a single thing?
[06:59] Hatanaka
    Hello? Abe-sensei?
[07:01] Hatanaka
    Did you mess up again?
[07:20] Hatanaka
    Sano!
[07:22] Hatanaka
    Thank goodness. You're conscious.
[07:24] Hatanaka
    Just wait! I'll chop this log and—
[07:31] Hatanaka
    Hey! This isn't the time to be crying!
[07:41] Hatanaka
    Hey! Calm down!
[07:47] Sano
    Hey...
[07:49] Sano
    You're seriously obnoxious.
SIGN    First-Aid Station
[08:01] Takanashi
    It's a sprain.
[08:03] Takanashi
    You should be all better in about a week.
[08:06] Takanashi
    Though that means you'll just have to
    watch the rest of the sports day events.
[08:10] Hatanaka
    I'm actually surprised you only ended
    up with a sprain in that situation.
[08:14] Sano
    You heard him. I'm going to survive.
[08:17] Sano
    So you can stop doing inhuman things, Seimei.
[08:20] Haruaki
    I'm a bad slime.
[08:22] Tamao
    He's liquefied from the shock.
[08:25] Haruaki
    I just want to evaporate into the air.
[08:28] Sano
    And if it's only a sprain, I can
    still participate in the event.
[08:32] Nyuudou
    You idiot! What if you just make it worse?
[08:34] Takahashi
    Out of curiosity, what is the event?
[08:37] Nyuudou
    An obstacle course relay
    run by one animal youkai,
[08:42] Nyuudou
    one inorganic youkai, and one
    humanoid youkai from each class.
[08:46] Nyuudou
    And Sano was supposed to
    be the anchor for his class.
[08:50] Takahashi
    Don't worry! If it does get worse,
    I'll just operate on you.
[08:57] Haruaki
    Hey!
[08:59] Haruaki
    I have a request.
[09:04] Marshmallow
    Okay, next is the final event for the
    second-years, the obstacle course relay!
[09:10] Marshmallow
    The animal youkai, our first
    runners, are entering the field.
SIGN    First Runners
SIGN    First Runners
SIGN    First Runners
[09:19] Tamao
    You're representing Class 4, Nezumi-sensei?
[09:23] Nezumi-sensei
    There's no rule saying
    the teachers can't run.
[09:26] Nezumi-sensei
    Goodness. Looks like it's finally
    time for a mouse to beat a cat.
[09:31] Tamao
    Well, now you're just...
[09:34] Tamao
    being ridiculous.
[09:36] Marshmallow
    What the heck is this visual?!
[09:39] Kappa
    On your marks, get set...
[09:43] Marshmallow
    What?! Wait, is that what you all look
    like when you're in serious mode?
[09:49] Kappa
    Boom!
[09:51] Marshmallow
    Oh, now you're back to normal...
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[10:00] Marshmallow
    The first obstacle is...
[10:02] Marshmallow
    the log balance beam!
[10:05] Marshmallow
    Won't this be rather easy for animal youkai?
[10:10] Tamao
    Th-This is...
[10:14] Sign
    Mrrow!
SIGN    Purr Purr
[10:16] Marshmallow
    Ah! The cat from Class 3
    has started rolling around!
[10:19] Marshmallow
    Apparently, that log is made out of catnip.
SIGN    Purr Purr
[10:24] Tamao
    Supreme bliss...
[10:27] Nyuudou
    The hell are you doing, Tama?!
[10:28] Sano
    Hey, that's the log that squashed me.
[10:32] Tamao
    What?!
[10:34] Tamao
    You're the one who hurt Sano?!
[10:48] Tamao
    I avenged you, Sano.
[10:50] Marshmallow
    Class 3 needs to catch up!
[11:01] Marshmallow
    Next, they've reached toy hell!
[11:11] Marshmallow
    U-Unbelievable, Class 3!
[11:13] Marshmallow
    He closed his eyes and is getting
    through the field of green foxtails!
[11:16] Tamao
    Kill your passions!
[11:19] Marshmallow
    He made it through! He used his fighting
    spirit to overcome the cat's weakness!
[11:24] Yanagida
    Akisame-kun!
[11:25] Lantern ghost
    Get your ass over here, you stupid rabbit!
[11:27] Marshmallow
    And now, he's handed over the sash to
    our second runner, the inorganic youkai!
[11:30] Yanagida
    I've got this!
[11:34] Small old man
    Meanwhile...
SIGN    Rodent-Away
[11:36] Small old man
    Nezumi-sensei was stuck in an obstacle
    meant specifically for rodents.
[11:41] Nezumi-sensei
    They're actually trying to kill me...
[11:45] Marshmallow
    Obstacles mean nothing
    to youkai that can fly.
[11:50] Marshmallow
    And for sneaky guys like them...
[11:53] Kappa
    Sneak, sneak, sneak, sneak...
[11:56] Kappa
    Hey-ho! Hey-ho! Hey-ho!
[11:59] Kappa
    Hey-ho! Hey-ho!
[12:05] Marshmallow
    We have the kappas doing a wind attack!
[12:08] Marshmallow
    They can't get ahead like this!
[12:11] Kappa
    Hey-ho! Hey-ho! Hey-ho!
[12:13] Lantern
    Any more and I'll rip...
[12:16] Yanagida
    Oh, right. I have just the
    thing for situations like this.
[12:19] Marshmallow
    What's this? Does Class 3
    have some kind of strategy?
[12:22] Marshmallow
    Also, where exactly is he reaching into?!
[12:27] Yanagida
    The science club's special
    chemical explosive!
[12:32] Rando student a
    Yanagida from the science
    club just pulled out a bomb!
[12:35] Rando student b
    Run! That'll kill us!
[12:41] Yanagida
    Just one drop of this and...
[12:53] Marshmallow
    That's terrifying! Jeez!
SIGN    Broadcast
[12:57] Marshmallow
    But...
[12:58] Marshmallow
    Now there's no obstacle for
    the other students, either!
[13:05] Yanagida
    Hey! Pay your tolls, you damn hyenas!
[13:07] Yanagida
    Damn it!
[13:09] Yanagida
    The rest is up to you!
[13:11] Yanagida
    Seimei-sensei!
[13:15] Marshmallow
    Wh-What's this?!
[13:16] Marshmallow
    Class 3's anchor is now the
    human teacher, Abe-sensei?!
[13:22] Haruaki
    Sano-kun... It's my fault you can't run.
[13:27] Haruaki
    Which means that I need to...
[13:29] Marshmallow
    Abe-sensei is somehow keeping
    up with the rest of the runners!
[13:33] Haruaki
    ...take responsibility and win!
[13:36] Kurahashi
    Seimei-sensei really is fast!
[13:40] Nyuudou
    But up ahead is...
[13:43] Marshmallow
    The first obstacle they'll face is...
[13:46] Marshmallow
    A thousand-level vaulting box!
[13:50] Haruaki
    Ain't no way!
[13:53] Students
    Ain't no way!
[13:55] Hijita
    What's he supposed to do?
[13:58] Hijita
    There's no way he can jump that!
[14:03] Maeda
    I-I guess this is the end.
[14:10] Sano
    There's just one chance.
[14:13] Sano
    It's a last resort, and it's kinda taboo, but...
SIGN    Entry Gate
[14:18] All
    What?!
[14:20] Tamao
    S-Seimei has a power like that?
[14:24] Sano
    Yeah. That's the kind of person he is.
[14:27] Sano
    If he uses that, he might just
    be able to get through this.
[14:31] Nyuudou
    But the way this is going,
    we'll be in trouble, too.
[14:35] Kurahashi
    And there's no guarantee this will work.
[14:38] Tamao
    I-I'm gonna do it!
[14:42] Tamao
    It's true that Seimei is a failure, a crybaby,
[14:45] Tamao
    and a servile pervert who'll immediately
    throw away his principles and positions
[14:48] Tamao
    for the sake of his desires...
[14:50] Tamao
    But still, he kindly helped
    me with my studies!
[14:53] Tamao
    I want to repay him!
[14:56] Nyuudou
    I'm not sure if helping you study makes up
    for the number of flaws you just named.
[15:01] Nyuudou
    Ugh, damn it!
[15:02] Nyuudou
    Our luck ran out as soon as
    we ended up in his class!
[15:05] Nyuudou
    Everyone! Let's prepare the thing!
[15:08] Mamekichi and Marshmallow
    Yeah!
[15:11] Fujihira
    Seriously?
[15:12] Hijita
    Don't blame me for whatever happens!
[15:18] Principal
    Sano-kun?
[15:25] Principal
    You aren't going to make him use his
    power to exorcise demons, are you?
[15:32] Sano
    Oh, I don't know...
[15:36] Sano
    Guess you'll just have to wait and see.
[15:40] Hatanaka
    Is he really going to use the
    power to exorcise demons?
[15:43] Principal
    Who knows? I have no idea how
    young folks think nowadays.
[15:48] Principal
    But I'd like for the teachers
    to be on guard just in case.
[16:02] Haruaki
    Damn it!
[16:04] Haruaki
    There's no way I can make this jump.
[16:07] Haruaki
    I'm just gonna have to climb it.
[16:10] Haruaki
    I-I'm not giving up!
SIGN    Haruaki's Emotional
    Cheer Squad
[16:13] Haruaki
    That's the spirit!
[16:15] Haruaki
    A human can do anything
    if he sets his mind to it!
[16:19] Sano
    Then let's have you do just that!
[16:22] Students
    Seimei! We've got your
    favorite uniforms here!
[16:30] Students
    You've got this, Seimei!
SIGN    Gyahaha
[16:58] Student A
    What the hell?!
[17:00] Student B
    Hey, Class 3! This isn't the school festival!
[17:04] Tamao
    Ren-Ren, I can feel my heart shattering.
[17:07] Nyuudou
    Kill your heart. Don't listen to that noise!
[17:19] Student C
    Oh? What's up with that human teacher?
[18:14] Students
    Seriously?!
[18:16] Class 3
    Seriously?!
[18:18] Marshmallow
    The human teacher, Abe-sensei, has
    elegantly cleared the vaulting box!
[18:24] Marshmallow
    He's completely ignoring all the obstacles
    and getting to the goal at incredible speed!
[18:29] Marshmallow
    Is this some kind of insane adrenaline rush?!
[18:33] Shikajima
    Wh-What's up with that teacher?
[18:36] Male student A
    Honestly, what's up with that whole class?
[18:41] Miki
    Man... He definitely pulled one over on us.
[18:45] Principal
    To think it'd come to this...
[18:48] Principal
    I almost feel stupid for
    taking this seriously.
[18:53] Principal
    Honestly...
[18:55] Principal
    I really have no idea how
    young folks think these days.
[19:01] Marshmallow
    Class 3 has completely turned the tables
    and is catching up to first place!
[19:07] Marshmallow
    And now...
[19:11] Marshmallow
    Goal!
[19:13] Marshmallow
    Due to the last-ditch efforts
    of the students of Class 3,
[19:16] Marshmallow
    they managed to turn the
    tables and get first place!
[19:21] Marshmallow
    And now... rapid-fire pictures!
[19:32] Nyuudou
    H-Hey...
[19:36] Haruaki
    So happy!
[19:37] Haruaki
    I'm super happy.
SIGN    Translation
SIGN    I'm super happy
SIGN    Note:
[19:39] Nyuudou
    This Japanese teacher just started
    speaking in traditional Chinese!
[19:47] Sano
    Yeah, you're way too gross!
[19:55] Haruaki
    What have I been doing?
[19:57] Sano
    This dude is dangerous.
    Let's call the police.
[20:01] Mamekichi
    Seimei-kun!
[20:04] Mamekichi
    Seimei-kun! You managed to get first place!
[20:07] Haruaki
    What? No way!
[20:09] Nyuudou
    More importantly, let's call an ambulance
    so you can get your head checked.
[20:13] Mamekichi
    Looks like the other runners
    have reached the goal, too.
[20:16] Mamekichi
    You should head back, Seimei-kun!
[20:18] Sano
    Even if you got first place,
[20:20] Sano
    things might change depending on
    where the other classes placed.
[20:23] Sano
    It's too early to celebrate.
[20:25] Haruaki
    Oh, right!
[20:26] Haruaki
    Then the results are...
[20:29] Sign
    m 0 0 l 200 0 200 615 0 615
SIGN    2nd-Year Class Score Totals
    Scavenger Hunt Relay | Mock Cavalry Battle | Obstacle Course Relay | Total
SIGN    One || 30 | 140 | 40 |
    Two || 50 | 140 | 20 |
    Three || 60 | 100 | |
    Four || 20 | 90 | |
    Five || 40 | 100 | |
    Six || 10 | 100 | |
[20:36] Haruaki
    So...
[20:38] Haruaki
    In the end...
SIGN    Time to
    Reflect
[20:41] Haruaki
    I really did end up in a red loincloth...
[20:45] Haruaki
    I'm so sad.
[20:46] Nyuudou
    Shut up, you pervy teacher.
[20:48] Hijita
    Ever since that incident,
    there's a rumor going around
[20:52] Hijita
    saying that the principal put
    all the perverts in our class!
[20:55] Sano
    So why are you doing this punishment?
[20:58] Sano
    I heard that Nezumi-sensei came in last and
    got a piece of cheese taken from his pay.
[21:03] Nezumi-sensei
    M-My cheese...
[21:05] Tamao
    Nezumi-sensei gets paid in cheese?
[21:10] Haruaki
    Well, a lot of the parents put in
    complaints saying I was gross...
[21:16] Haruaki
    So I ended up taking this punishment.
[21:19] Haruaki
    I'm so sad.
[21:20] Nyuudou
    But now you're even grosser after accepting
    the punishment for being called gross.
[21:26] Haruaki
    Hey, don't say that!
[21:29] Haruaki
    Call me charming instead!
[21:33] Nyuudou
    Like hell I will!
[21:34] Hijita
    Now, now.
[21:35] Hijita
    More importantly, let's all go get
    yakiniku to cheer ourselves up!
[21:41] Haruaki
    Wait, I'm not paying for that, am I?
[21:44] Hijita
    Pretty sure the teacher pays for
    his students at times like this.
[21:47] Yanagida
    Yay!
[21:47] Mamekichi
    Yahoo! Let's go already!
[21:51] Haruaki
    Unbelievable...
[21:53] Haruaki
    I managed to not get my pay docked,
    but my pay's going down anyway.
[21:56] Haruaki
    I'm so sad.
[21:58] Haruaki
    Hey, can I at least put some clothes on?
[22:01] Hijita
    Nope, you can't.
SIGN    Winners
[22:02] Hijita
    I'll take pictures and distribute them.
[22:03] Haruaki
    Please don't. We seriously
    won't be able to air this.

Season 1

8 - Amaaki, Momoyama-san, and the Nudity Festival

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Sano
    Whoa...
[00:02] Fujihira
    That's a lot of presents.
[00:05] Mamekichi
    Well, it's almost Sano-kun's birthday.
[00:08] Kurahashi
    Gonna be tough to return all those favors...
[00:11] Haruaki
    What are you doing, Momoyama-san?
[00:16] Haruaki
    Aw... You don't have to act like
    you just ran into a groper...
[00:23] Mamekichi
    Is someone there?
[00:26] Mamekichi
    Huh?
[00:27] Mamekichi
    I guess not.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
SIGN    Class 2-3
[02:02] Tamao
    Safe!
[02:03] Mamekichi
    Oh, Akisame-kun. Did you oversleep?
SIGN    Episode 8
    "Amaaki, Momoyama-san,
    and the Nudity Festival"
[02:06] Tamao
    Gulp. No way!
SIGN    Bad
SIGN    Bad
[02:08] Tamao
    Uh... There was a cat getting
    mugged, so I saved it!
[02:12] Nyuudou
    Uh-huh... Good job.
[02:14] Tamao
    Hey, you don't believe me...
[02:16] Amaaki
    Hey! Didn't you hear the bell?
[02:20] Amaaki
    Hurry up and get to your seats.
[02:23] Nyuudou
    S-Seimei?
[02:24] Tamao
    What's wrong? You're in a bad
    mood. Not enough uniforms?
[02:28] Mamekichi
    What are you doing, Doppel?
[02:31] Tamao
    What? Is that Seimei's doppelganger?
[02:38] Amaaki
    Hey, what are you...
[02:39] Sano
    Come with me. Zashiki and Hijita, too.
[02:45] Sano
    So, why did you come all the
    way to the island, Doppel?
[02:50] Amaaki
    Y'all are gonna call me Doppel, too?
[02:53] Small Old Man
    This person is actually Haruaki's
    older twin brother, Amaaki Abe.
[02:57] Mamekichi
    You're probably just worried
    about Seimei-kun again.
[03:01] Mamekichi
    You really are hopelessly
    obsessed with your brother.
[03:03] Hijita
    So you decided to disguise yourself
    as Seimei and check out the school?
[03:07] Hijita
    What's Seimei even doing?
[03:08] Amaaki
    Haru's got nothin' to do with this.
[03:10] Amaaki
    I sealed him away in the bathroom
    with a uniform just a minute ago.
[03:14] Haruaki
    Wah, I can't get out!
[03:17] Haruaki
    Oh, hey. A uniform.
[03:18] Haruaki
    Woohoo! Lucky me!
[03:19] Sano
    I guess we can forget about him.
[03:21] Sano
    He'll survive as long as he
    has uniforms and water.
[03:24] Sano
    So you didn't listen to a word I said last time?
[03:27] Amaaki
    Th-That's not true!
[03:28] Amaaki
    It's just, you're the only
    students of Haru's that I know.
[03:31] Amaaki
    I came to see if Haru's actually doing
    a good job as a teacher or not.
[03:36] Amaaki
    So please!
[03:37] Amaaki
    Just for today! Help me
    pretend that I'm Haru!
[03:42] Marshmallow
    Eyes up front.
[03:44] Sano
    So yeah, apparently Seimei
    got amnesia because reasons.
[03:49] Yanagida
    What? The same Seimei-sensei
    who randomly combusts
[03:52] Yanagida
    and comes back like nothing happened?
[03:54] Nyuudou
    Okay, but why's the amnesia causing
    his personality to change, too?
[03:57] Sano
    S-So the way he talks and his
    personality changed because reasons.
[04:02] Nyuudou
    "Because reasons" works
    for everything, I guess.
[04:04] Yanagida
    Then again, this is Seimei-sensei,
    so "because reasons" actually fits.
[04:08] Amaaki
    What's going on with my brother?
[04:11] Kuniko
    I'm so sorry I'm late!
[04:12] Kuniko
    I was saving a cat that was getting mugged.
[04:16] Nyuudou
    That must've been rough, Utagawa-san.
[04:18] Tamao
    What the heck? You didn't believe my lie!
[04:21] Nyuudou
    You just admitted to lying.
[04:22] Tamao
    Crap!
[04:23] Amaaki
    Okay, I get it. Just get to your seat.
[04:30] Nyuudou
    Utagawa-san, your skeleton's showing.
[04:32] Utagawa
    Oh, no! It must be because
    I'm so tired from running.
[04:36] Utagawa
    Oh, no! Seimei-sensei just collapsed!
[04:39] Sano
    Oh, right. He can't handle youkai...
[04:43] Amaaki
    I-I'm fine... I just got a little
    dizzy from my amnesia...
[04:49] Amaaki
    Anyway, let's start class.
[04:51] Tamao
    Forget class. Let's figure out
    how to get your memory back.
[04:55] Futakuchi-Onna
    In that case, I've got a good idea.
[04:57] Futakuchi-Onna
    Hang on to your knickers, you little brats!
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[05:01] Small Old Man
    Futakuchi-onna is a youkai that has
    another mouth on the back of her head.
[05:04] Small Old Man
    Apparently, she can move
    her hair like hands, too.
[05:09] Futakuchi-Onna
    Hey, Shepherd's Purse!
[05:10] Futakuchi-Onna
    I brought my winter uniform
    from my dorm just for you!
[05:14] Futakuchi-Onna
    I'm sure seeing this will jog your memory!
[05:16] Amaaki
    Uh-huh....
[05:18] Momoyama
    S-Seimei-sensei...
[05:21] Kuniko
    ...didn't react...
[05:22] Nyuudou
    ...to the uniform!
[05:23] Tamao
    S-Seimei... Say it ain't so...
[05:26] Nyuudou
    Maybe we should get him to
    the hospital, like right now.
[05:28] Kurahashi
    More importantly, this might be
    a foretelling of a cataclysm...
[05:31] Nyuudou
    It's not funny when a literal
    misfortune-predicting kudan says that.
[05:35] Mujina
    But that means a cataclysm
    really might happen!
SIGN    And then...
[05:38] Marshmallow
    And then...
[05:40] Sano
    Damn it, seriously...
[05:42] Sano
    At least try to act a little like Seimei.
[05:44] Amaaki
    S-Sorry. I don't have any
    interest in uniforms.
[05:49] Yanagida
    Heya, are you all enjoying a piss together?
[05:52] Hijita
    Gah! Yanagida!
[05:53] Amaaki
    That cloth is talking!
[05:55] Hijita
    So what do you want?
[05:56] Hijita
    It better be anything other
    than "I made medicine."
[05:59] Yanagida
    I made medicine.
[06:00] Hijita
    Yup. Leave.
[06:01] Yanagida
    Since our teacher's suffering from amnesia,
    I made it in the chemistry club.
[06:05] Amaaki
    The chemistry club?
[06:06] Amaaki
    But your whole being is so unscientific..
[06:09] Yanagida
    We live in an age where even youkai
    use their phones to access social media.
SIGN    There have been
    multiple cases
    of youkai getting
    flushed down the
    toilet lately.
[06:12] Yanagida
    I may look unscientific, but I'm going
    to continue to study science...
[06:17] Yanagida
    and become the first youkai in the
    world to win the Nobel Prize.
SIGN    There have been
    multiple cases
    of youkai getting
    flushed down the
    toilet lately.
[06:25] Sano
    Anyway, Doppel, have you gotten
    any more used to youkai?
[06:28] Amaaki
    I'm fine when they're in human forms, but...
[06:32] Hijita
    What's that?
[06:33] Koizumi
    Ow...
[06:35] Small Old man
    Rokurokubi.
[06:36] Small Old man
    A youkai with a really long neck.
[06:38] Small Old man
    Must be convenient being able
    to see the top of the fridge.
[06:40] Mamekichi
    Koizumi-san, what happened?
[06:43] Koizumi
    I lost my footing on the stairs.
[06:45] Koizumi
    I think I sprained my ankle.
[06:48] Amaaki
    Pardon me.
[06:49] Koizumi
    What are you doing, you pervert of a teacher?!
[06:53] Amaaki
    What do you mean?
[06:54] Amaaki
    I'm takin' you to the nurse's office.
[06:57] Amaaki
    That's the least your teacher can do, right?
[07:01] Sano
    Yeah, they're definitely twins,
    at least in that regard...
[07:07] Koizumi
    Wh-Why are you acting so
    cool all of a sudden?
[07:10] Amaaki
    Crap... I picked up a
    youkai without thinking.
[07:14] Amaaki
    Calm down.
[07:15] Amaaki
    This girl just has a neck that's
    a tad longer than usual, that's all.
[07:19] Amaaki
    It's okay! She's not scar—
[07:21] Amaaki
    I can't.
[07:23] Hijita
    Damn it. Now we've got one more
    to take to the nurse's office.
[07:29] Amaaki
    Huh? Where am I?
[07:31] Sano
    You fainted again.
[07:35] Tamao
    You scared me so much!
[07:38] Amaaki
    What? You're actually worried about me?
[07:41] Tamao
    Of course I am!
[07:42] Yanagida
    This time, I definitely made a
    medicine that cures amnesia!
[07:45] Nyuudou
    You fainted? You okay?
[07:48] Hikari
    More importantly...
[07:49] Hayashi
    We brought you some adult picture
    books that are uniform-themed.
[07:52] Hatanaka
    You can't read those for another ten years.
[07:54] Miki
    Well, well. You look fine.
[07:56] Marshmallow
    Seimei-kun, I brought you a mandragora
    with a flower on its head to cheer you up.
[08:08] Amaaki
    I'll just go now.
[08:10] Amaaki
    Keep this a secret from Haru.
[08:13] Sano
    All right.
[08:17] Hijita
    I guess you knew that Doppel
    would be satisfied with this.
[08:21] Sano
    What? I have no idea what
    you're talking about.
[08:27] Haruaki
    Sano-kun!
[08:29] Haruaki
    Hup! Hup!
[08:31] Sano
    Don't come any closer to me...
[08:33] Sano
    looking like that!
[08:35] Haruaki
    That's no fair!
[08:37] Mandragora
    Fly away!
[08:41] Haruaki
    What did I do wrong?
[08:47] Haruaki
    Oh, Momoyama-san. I'm sorry for
    startling you this morning.
[08:51] Futakuchi-Onna
    It's okay.
[08:52] Futakuchi-onna
    Shut up, you perverted dick-for-brains!
[08:54] Futakuchi-onna
    Get away from me!
[08:56] Haruaki
    I-It's okay! I'm not worried about that!
[08:58] Haruaki
    I mean, I'm a masochist.
[09:00] Haruaki
    Were you trying to give someone
    a present this morning?
[09:06] Futakuchi-onna
    Th-That's none of your damn business,
    you shepherd's purse jerk!
[09:10] Haruaki
    Please don't insult me with something
    that needs a visual reference.
[09:14] Haruaki
    Let's see...
[09:15] Haruaki
    So you want to thank Sano-kun
    for helping you out
[09:19] Haruaki
    after Hijita-kun barfed on
    you during the sports day?
[09:22] Futakuchi-onna
    Wow, I'm surprised you figured all
    that out, you useless teacher.
[09:27] (Flashback) Sano
    You okay?
[09:28] (Flashback) Sano
    Wipe yourself off with this.
[09:33] Haruaki
    So that's what happened.
    Sano-kun's the best.
[09:37] Haruaki
    Come to think of it, Sano-kun's birthday
    is coming up, so this is perfect.
[09:42] Haruaki
    But you're not sure if you
    can actually give it to him?
[09:45] Haruaki
    I see. I guess it can
    be a bit nerve-racking.
[09:48] Yanagida
    I heard everything.
[09:51] Haruaki
    Yanagida-kun!
[09:52] Yanagida
    Oh, you! Were you that lonely without me?
[09:56] Yanagida
    Ta-da! This time, I made some perfume.
[10:00] Yanagida
    Now you can feel even
    more girly and confident!
[10:04] Haruaki
    Ah, so you can actually make useful things.
[10:07] Yanagida
    I figured I'd get the patent on
    this eventually and make bank.
[10:11] Haruaki
    But it smells kinda weird.
[10:14] Haruaki
    Like the smell of a human-faced
    fish when it's in a bad mood.
[10:16] Yanagida
    Really? Maybe I shouldn't have added
    the feces and urine from a kappa.
[10:21] Yanagida
    I mean, I don't have a nose,
    so I can't smell anything.
[10:24] Haruaki
    Then why'd you think of making a perfume?!
[10:26] Hijita
    Oh, hey, Seimei.
[10:28] Hijita
    What're you up to? Guiding students again?
[10:37] Hijita
    Momoyama-san! You're so friggin' cute!
[10:40] Hijita
    I love you.
[10:41] Futakuchi-onna
    Why are you suddenly asking
    me out, puke-for-brains?!
[10:44] Hijita
    Do you not like guys who puke on you?
[10:45] Futakuchi-onna
    Pretty sure the answer is no!
[10:48] Hijita
    Even so, I love you! I really love you!
[10:51] Nyuudou
    H-Hey! What the hell'd you do to Hijita?
[10:53] Mob
    Momoyama-san!
[10:55] Nyuudou
    Uh, I guess it's not just Hijita.
[10:58] Nyuudou
    Anyway, run!
[10:59] Hijita
    Momoyama-san!
[11:02] Nyuudou
    All the guys in school are after
    Momoyama-san! What's going on?
[11:06] Yanagida
    Maybe that perfume had something
    in it that charms male youkai.
[11:11] Haruaki
    You see... stuff happened.
SIGN    Stuff Happened
SIGN     Use this phrase
     when you want to
    shorten explanations.
[11:14] Small Old Man
    "Stuff happened." Use this phrase when
    you want to shorten explanations.
[11:18] Small Old Man
    They even use this method in the Manyoushuu.
[11:21] Nyuudou
    I see. Hey, you piece of cloth.
[11:23] Nyuudou
    I'm gonna turn you into a curtain later.
[11:25] Nyuudou
    I get that it doesn't work on me or
    Yanagida since we don't have noses,
[11:28] Nyuudou
    but why doesn't it work on Seimei?
[11:29] Yanagida
    It's basically like youkai pheromones, so
    maybe it doesn't work if you're not a youkai.
[11:34] Futakuchi-onna
    This ain't no time for your stupid
    analysis! We're at a dead end!
[11:40] Nyuudou
    Th-This is really bad.
[11:43] Haruaki
    Wh-Wh-Wh-What should we do?
[11:44] Haruaki
    Someone...
[11:46] Haruaki
    S-S-S-S-Sano-kun!
[11:49] Haruaki
    Save us!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[12:00] Amaaki
    I'm glad I got to come here today.
[12:03] Amaaki
    Just like that yakubyougami
    said, Haru's a good teacher.
SIGN    Welcome to
    Hyakki Academy Island!
[12:07] Amaaki
    But I guess no one's gonna see me off!
[12:16] Sano
    Out of the way.
[12:18] Haruaki
    Sano-kun!
[12:20] Sano
    What the hell's going on?
[12:22] Nyuudou
    Well, stuff happened.
[12:26] Sano
    Maybe it's time to turn you into a pennant.
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
[12:28] Small old man
    Pennant.
[12:30] Small old man
    A kind of flag that's thin and long.
[12:31] Nyuudou
    How are you okay, though?
[12:33] Futakuchi-onna
    Hey! Those guys are gettin' back up again!
[12:36] Haruaki
    They're basically zombies!
[12:37] Nyuudou
    Sano, can you stop these
    guys with your youkai magic?
[12:41] Sano
    I'll give it a try.
[12:47] Nyuudou
    Sorry, I had a feeling this might happen.
[12:49] Yanagida
    Yeah, the visuals are getting
    even more dangerous.
[12:51] Nyuudou
    Our school's finally just
    filled with pervs now.
[12:54] Haruaki
    Anyway, let's just run for now!
[12:58] Sano
    Hey, you pennant! Can't you
    do something about this?
[13:00] Yanagida
    Hmm... Maybe you can just wash
    off the scent of the perfume?
[13:05] Nyuudou
    Are there any shower rooms in this school?
[13:07] Yanagida
    Well, there's a pool.
[13:08] Nyuudou
    It's too far away, plus it got destroyed.
[13:11] Haruaki
    A pool... I know!
[13:13] Haruaki
    Noriko, Kazuo, Marshmallow!
[13:15] Noriko; Kazuo; Marshmallow
    You called?
[13:16] Haruaki
    Time for formation N!
[13:18] Noriko; Kazuo; Marshmallow
    Roger!
[13:19] Haruaki
    Now we just have to wait until it's ready.
[13:21] Sano
    Hey, what are you...
[13:23] Haruaki
    Everyone! Over here!
[13:26] Haruaki
    Not those losers, too!
[13:28] Hijita
    There they are! Get her!
[13:30] Sano
    Now they're on their way.
[13:31] Yanagida
    Up above!
[13:32] Nyuudou
    Seimei, now we're surrounded
    because we came here!
[13:36] Haruaki
    This is fine.
[13:37] Marshmallow
    Seimei-kun!
[13:40] Mandragoras
    One, two! One, two! One, two! One, two!
[13:42] Marshmallow
    We brought the master!
[13:44] Master
    Hey, it's been a while.
[13:46] Haruaki
    Sano-kun! I think you might be able to
    take Momoyama-san and dive in from here!
[13:50] Sano
    Seriously? Okay, fine.
[13:57] Sano
    Hold on tight, Momoyama-san.
[14:12] Miki
    Huh?
[14:13] Hatanaka
    What...
[14:14] Hijita
    ...are we doing?
[14:16] Hijita
    Eek!
[14:17] Nyuudou
    All right!
[14:19] Haruaki
    Sano-kun! It looks like
    everyone's back to normal!
[14:22] Haruaki
    You okay over there?
[14:30] Mandragoras
    Bye, now.
[14:31] Mandragoras
    One, two. One, two. One, two. One, two.
[14:35] Sano
    You okay? That must've been rough.
[14:37] Sano
    Well, bye.
[14:38] Kuchisake-onna
    Hey!
[14:39] Kuchisake-onna
    Sano, you—
[14:42] Momoyama
    S-Sano-kun...
[14:45] Momoyama
    Th-Thank you for lending me your
    handkerchief on sports day.
[14:51] Momoyama
    Here, I bought you a new handker...
[14:56] Momoyama
    It's friggin' soaked.
[14:59] Sano
    A tanuki design.
[15:00] Momoyama
    Oh, um, yeah.
[15:02] Momoyama
    I thought you might like this one.
[15:05] Momoyama
    But it's all wet now, so I'll get you another...
[15:07] Sano
    It's fine.
[15:08] Sano
    Hand it over.
[15:11] Sano
    I was just thinking about
    buying a new handkerchief.
[15:14] Sano
    Thanks. I'll happily use this one.
[15:19] Momoyama
    Those... are definitely panties.
[15:22] Momoyama
    Actually, when I bought this,
[15:24] Momoyama
    the handkerchief section was right
    next to the lingerie section...
[15:28] Momoyama
    And I accidentally bought panties...
[15:33] Futakuchi-onna
    Congrats, Sano!
[15:35] Futakuchi-onna
    A girl just gave you panties!
[15:37] Tamao
    H-Hey! Guys from Class 2-3!
[15:42] Tamao
    Sano just got panties from a girl!
[15:45] All
    What?!
[15:46] Hijita
    No way!
[15:47] Hijita
    For science, how does one manage
    to get a girl to give him panties?!
[15:51] Hikari
    Let's hurry up and make some
    red-bean rice and throw it at Sano!
[15:55] Hijita
    Men, let us rejoice!
[16:00] Men
    Wasshoi! Wasshoi! Wasshoi!
[16:01] Momoyama
    S-Sano-kun... I'm so sorry...
[16:04] Men
    And wasshoi! Wasshoi! Wasshoi!
[16:05] Sano
    Momoyama-san, I can't accept this,
    but I'll take your gratitude.
[16:08] Men
    Wasshoi! Wasshoi! Wasshoi!
[16:11] Sano
    Thanks.
[16:12] Hijita
    Today is Sano's panty anniversary!
[16:16] Hijita
    Congrats, Sano-kun!
[16:18] Sano
    So anyway... I'm gonna go kill those guys.
[16:23] Sano
    Just you wait, you bastards!
[16:26] Momoyama
    Sano-kun really is kind...
[16:30] Mandragora
    I wuv you.
[16:35] Hijita
    Going to the public bath is a pain.
[16:38] Mamekichi
    We don't have a choice.
[16:40] Mamekichi
    We can't use the baths at the dorms
    'cause the water suddenly got shut off.
SIGN    Men
SIGN    Women
[16:44] Beniko
    Hey, is that the bathhouse?
[16:48] Kuniko
    Oh, Beniko-chan's here.
[16:50] Akibe
    Come on in.
[16:52] Akibe
    Momoyama has something she wanted
    to ask you, Zashiki-chan.
SIGN    Akibe-san
    the korpokkur
[16:59] Beniko
    What?
[17:00] Momoyama
    Whisper, whisper.
[17:01] Beniko
    Huh? You wanna know Sano's type?
[17:04] Futakuchi-onna
    You just killed the point of her whispering.
[17:07] Beniko
    Well, I don't give a rat's
    ass about Sano's love life.
[17:10] Marilyn
    Sano-kun has a handsome face,
    but he's a bit childish.
[17:15] Daisy
    Yeah. That'd make going out
    with him a little rough.
SIGN    Karakasa Obake
    Daisy
SIGN    Asaoke no ke
    Marilyn
[17:21] Beniko
    Speaking of love lives, Utagawa-san,
[17:23] Beniko
    I heard you turned down a hot
    guy from the class next door.
[17:26] Kuniko
    How do you know that?!
[17:28] Kuniko
    I mean, I'm not ready for romance.
    I'm too busy with my studies!
[17:32] Beniko
    Oh, please. You're gonna tell me
    it's not because you like Nyuudou?
[17:35] Kuniko
    B-B-B-Beniko-chan!
[17:37] Akibe
    Really, Utagawa?
[17:39] Marilyn
    No way! Why Nyuudou of all people?
[17:41] Beniko
    You mean the other girls had no idea?
[17:44] Kuniko
    Th-That's not true! Oh,
    come on, Beniko-chan! Jeez!
[17:50] Koizumi
    Romance, huh?
[17:52] Koizumi
    I guess he was sorta cool today.
[17:58] Koizumi
    No, wait, no! Not a chance!
[18:01] Haruaki
    Hey! Guys of Class 3! Your teacher's here!
[18:04] Guys
    Oh, God! He's here!
[18:06] Haruaki
    Hey! Don't make it sound like
    you just saw a cockroach!
[18:08] Beniko
    Oh, Seimei's here.
[18:11] Sano
    I thought you were gonna use
    the faculty dorm's bath.
[18:13] Haruaki
    Well, I wanted to get in
    the bath with all of you.
[18:16] Haruaki
    Let's get to know each other better!
[18:18] Beniko
    Just watch. That's gonna piss Sano off.
[18:21] Sano
    You're so friggin' creepy!
[18:23] Haruaki
    A neckbreaker! I'mma die...
[18:25] Beniko
    See?
[18:26] Koizumi
    Yeah... he's definitely out
    of the question. For sure.
[18:30] Beniko
    Man, I hope the guys have something raunchy.
[18:34] Renjou
    Zashiki-san! That's quite lewd!
SIGN    Jorougumo
    Renjou-san
SIGN    Men
[18:42] Haruaki
    Hijita-kun, so that's what you
    look like without your eye patch.
[18:45] Hijita
    More importantly, I've been thinking...
[18:50] Hijita
    Seimei! Dude, you're huge!
[18:53] Hijita
    You're way bigger than me!
[18:55] Haruaki
    Right? I wonder if it's because I'm tall.
[18:56] Kuniko
    S-Stop!
[18:59] Koizumi
    Wait, their height makes a difference?!
[19:00] Renjou
    Excuse me, boys! That's quite indecen—
[19:02] Marilyn
    Just shut up, you idiot!
[19:04] Mamekichi
    Oh, he's right. Seimei-kun, you are big.
[19:08] Mamekichi
    I'm super tiny, so I'm jealous.
[19:11] Haruaki
    You're fine as you are, Maizuka-kun.
[19:13] Haruaki
    If you were just big down there,
    you'd be like an elephant.
[19:19] Kuniko
    What's the matter, Beniko-chan?
[19:22] Beniko
    Oh, just...
[19:24] Beniko
    wondering if I could get a peek.
[19:26] Beniko
    Up we go.
[19:27] Kuniko
    B-Beniko-chan?!
[19:28] Beniko
    What? Guys aren't the only
    ones that get to peek.
[19:32] Beniko
    What are you doing, Momoyama-san?
[19:34] Momoyama
    Rawr, rawr!
[19:35] Beniko
    What? I'm not allowed to see Sano-kun naked?
[19:39] Hijita
    On the other hand, Sano's not very big.
[19:42] Sano
    Shut the hell up!
[19:44] Momoyama
    Oho...
[19:47] Futakuchi-onna
    I'm next, four-eyes.
[19:49] Beniko
    Hey, you're not so bad.
[19:51] Kuniko
    Now they're colluding!
[19:53] Kuniko
    Hey! Someone stop those two—
[19:55] Daisy
    Hey, grow your damn neck already.
[19:57] Marilyn
    What's your neck even
    for if you don't use it?
[20:00] Kuniko
    That's it! Everyone!
[20:02] Kuniko
    That's... enough!
SIGN    Ma
SIGN    n
SIGN    d
SIGN    ra
SIGN    go
SIGN    ra
SIGN    Sano
SIGN    Hijitaa
SIGN    Haruaki
SIGN    Omame
SIGN    Tamao
SIGN    O
SIGN    gata
SIGN    Mujina
[20:12] Nyuudou
    U-Utagawa-san... Is something the matter?
[20:15] Kuniko
    Oh, no! I turned into a skeleton!
[20:17] Kuniko
    Y-You've got the wrong idea!
[20:19] Kuniko
    There was a mouse, and it startled me!
[20:21] Kuniko
    I'm so sorry! I didn't see
    anything! I really didn't!
[20:27] Beniko
    That's hot!
[20:28] Kuniko
    Dang it! I saw everything!
[20:30] Futakuchi-onna
    So you did see! I'm jealous.
[20:33] Kuniko
    N-No! I didn't see anything!
[20:35] Futakuchi-onna
    Lies! You actually saw.
[20:37] Futakuchi-onna
    You saw the Garden of Eden beyond the wall!
[20:43] Kuniko
    Okay, fine! I did! I saw!
[20:46] Kuniko
    I wouldn't call it the Garden
    of Eden, though... It was more...
[20:48] Kuniko
    like a safari park!
[20:51] Nyuudou
    Utagawa-san, what are you even saying?
[20:55] Beniko
    So is it true that Seimei's
    huge and Sano's actually sma—
[20:58] Kuniko
    I didn't get that good of a look!
[21:00] Kuniko
    Besides, Nyuudou-kun's the
    only one I care to see naked!
[21:09] Beniko
    Ladies, let us rejoice!
[21:12] All
    Wasshoi! Wasshoi! Wasshoi! Wasshoi!
[21:17] Mandragora
    Time to party, wasshoi!
[21:21] Kuniko
    Ugh, I'll never be able to get married
    if we keep talking about this.
[21:30] Kuniko
    Seimei-sensei?
[21:32] Nyuudou
    Utagawa-san...
[21:33] Kuniko
    Nyuudou-kun... I'm sorry about earlier.
[21:35] Kuniko
    I didn't see anything!
[21:37] Nyuudou
    S-Sorry. I believe that it
    was some kind of mistake.
[21:41] Kuniko
    Huh? What's wrong, Nyuudou-kun?
[21:44] Hijira
    You're really going to ask that?
[21:46] Hijira
    We could hear everything
    you girls were saying!
[21:49] Hijira
    About if you were gonna peek,
    all the talk about big or small...
SIGN    Fire
[21:51] Tamao
    Stay away, you beasts!
[21:53] Fujihira
    Oh, dear... That's how you were looking at us?
[21:57] Kuniko
    Wait, no...
[21:58] Tamao
    Now, let's go, everyone.
[22:00] Kuniko
    No, wait...
[22:03] Momoyama
    Sano-kun...
[22:05] Kuniko
    You've got the wrong idea!

Season 1

9 - Save Me, Seimei-kun! The Case of the Animal Youkai Abductions!!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Hatanaka
    My afternoon lesson is with Class 3.
[00:08] Hatanaka
    A crow feather?
[00:10] Hatanaka
    That's a bit ominous.
[00:12] Tengu
    Izuna Hatanaka-kun.
[00:17] Announcer
    Concerning the string of animal youkai
    abductions the past few days...
SIGN    Faculty Room
[00:21] Announcer
    Right now, we have some of
    the animal youkai victims
[00:24] Announcer
    who were hit yesterday here at
    Takahashi Animal Youkai Clinic.
SIGN    Hyakki Academy Island
SIGN    Takahashi Animal
    Youkai Clinic
SIGN    Closed
    Today
SIGN    Breaking: One Victim After Another! Animal Youkai Abductions
[00:27] Announcer
    The culprit kidnaps the animal youkai,
[00:30] Announcer
    shaves them,
[00:31] Announcer
    and then returns them to
    where they were taken.
SIGN    Feels a lot
    cooler now
[00:35] Announcer
    There have already been twelve
    reported cases just this month.
[00:41] Haruaki
    Man, I guess there are a lot
    of bad youkai out there.
[00:44] Miki
    Of course. It's a rotten world out there.
[00:47] Haruaki
    Kinda like how you're always seducing women.
[00:50] Miki
    The hell I am! Just who do you think I am?
[00:55] Miki
    I've never even dated anyone.
[00:57] Haruaki
    What?!
[00:59] Haruaki
    You're just like me even with
    a face like that? No way!
[01:02] Miki
    I'm purposely not seeing anyone! Anyway...
[01:06] Miki
    If some bad youkai attacks me, protect
    me with your demon-exorcising power.
[01:11] Haruaki
    Sano-kun's way stronger than me.
    You should ask him.
[01:18] Sano
    What kind of teacher needs
    their student to protect them?
[01:22] Sano
    Hey, have you seen Mame?
[01:24] Sano
    I can't find him anywhere.
[01:26] Haruaki
    What?!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
[02:58] Haruaki
    Maizuka-kun's missing?
SIGN    Episode 9
    "Save me, Seimei-kun!
    The Case of the Animal
    Youkai Abductions!!"
[03:00] Sano
    Yeah.
[03:01] Miki
    But...
[03:02] Miki
    Doesn't Class 3 have a lesson
    with Hatanaka-kun right now?
[03:06] Small Old Man
    I think Sano-kun's skipping.
[03:08] Miki
    You need to be in class!
[03:10] Miki
    That kamaitachi's terrifyin'
    if you make him angry!
[03:14] Nyuudou
    Hatanaka never showed up.
[03:16] Kuniko
    We came to get him since
    he hadn't shown up yet.
[03:20] Miki
    Hatanaka-kun headed there
    over fifteen minutes ago...
SIGN    Hyakki Academy Island
SIGN    Takahashi Animal
    Youkai Clinic
SIGN    Breaking: One Victim After Another! Animal Youkai Abductions
[03:24] Announcer
    At 2 PM, we will continue our coverage
[03:28] Announcer
    of the ongoing animal youkai
    abductions and shavings.
[03:32] Kuniko
    By the way... I haven't seen
    Tama-chan all afternoon, either...
[03:37] Sano
    Mame!
[03:39] Sano
    Mame!
[03:40] Nyuudou
    Hey, Sano!
[03:41] Noriko
    Seimei-kun! This is bad!
[03:43] Noriko
    Marshmallow said he saw Mame-chan
    and the other animal youkai
[03:46] Noriko
    getting put into cages!
[03:49] Noriko
    Then they got taken into the forest.
[03:52] Haruaki
    Maybe it's more of those abductions
    we keep hearing about on TV.
[03:55] Haruaki
    If we don't do something,
    those guys are gonna get shaved!
[03:59] Sano
    Let's go after them!
[04:00] Haruaki
    Right!
[04:01] Haruaki
    Er, wait! That was the third floor!
[04:05] Miki
    You kids go call the police.
[04:09] Hatanaka
    ...zuka... Maizuka! Maizuka!
SIGN    Maizuka-kun
[04:16] Mamekichi
    Oh, Hatanaka-sensei.
SIGN    Hatanaka-sensei
[04:18] Mamekichi
    Sorry, I wasn't listening.
[04:21] Hatanaka
    Does it look like we're in class right now?
SIGN    Akisame-kun
[04:24] Tamao
    I'm not sure what's going on,
[04:25] Tamao
    but all of us animal youkai
    were put into cages.
[04:28] Hatanaka
    Who would do something like this?
[04:31] Ranmaru
    Oh, I see!
[04:33] Ranmaru
    You're that curious about us, huh?
[04:36] Mamekichi
    Who are you?
SIGN    Lieutenant
SIGN    Scribe
[04:38] Bonmaru
    Ta-da!
[04:38] Ranmaru
    We're the Karasu Tengu Troupe!
[04:40] Bonmaru
    Ta-da-da!
[04:41] Ranmaru
    We're a group of super-evil villains!
[04:43] Ranmaru
    Oh, and I'm the captain.
[04:45] Mamekichi
    What a lame group name.
[04:50] Ranmaru
    But I stayed up three nights
    coming up with it...
[04:52] Bonmaru
    See? I told you it's too simple.
[04:55] Tenmaru
    That's enough talking.
[04:59] Tamao
    Seimei.
[05:00] Mamekichi
    Sano-kun!
[05:00] Hatanaka
    Miki!
[05:02] Ranmaru
    What?! But we haven't even
    shaved any of them yet!
[05:06] Ranmaru
    Scribe! Set some traps!
[05:09] Mamekichi
    If you do anything to Seimei-kun and
    the others, I'll never forgive you.
[05:15] Ranmaru
    We don't need your forgiveness.
    We're evil, after all.
[05:20] Marshmallow
    I think they went in here.
[05:23] Haruaki
    I had no idea there was an
    abandoned factory in the forest.
[05:27] Sano
    Totally seems like a hideout for villains.
[05:30] Miki
    Tch. It's even foggy all of a sudden.
[05:33] Haruaki
    Stay close, Noriko.
[05:36] Haruaki
    Sano-kun, stay close to Kazuo.
[05:39] Haruaki
    Marshmallow, you stay with Miki-sensei.
[05:40] Marshmallow
    Hup.
[05:44] Miki
    You're heavy! Don't sit on my head!
[05:47] Marshmallow
    How dare you?! I'm not heavy!
[05:50] Marshmallow
    I'm just a little marshmallowy!
[05:53] Miki
    Come on, Abe-sensei.
[05:55] Miki
    I ain't cut out to watch over this thing.
[06:01] Miki
    Huh?
[06:02] Marshmallow
    Even I got left behind because of you!
[06:05] Marshmallow
    Numbnuts! Womanizer!
[06:07] Miki
    Oh, damn it! Why does everyone
    think I'm the womanizing type?!
[06:13] Sexy Lady 1
    Oh?
[06:14] Sexy Lady 1
    Look at this handsome fella.
[06:17] Sexy Lady 2
    Ooh, sleep with me!
[06:20] Marshmallow
    Huh? Why'd a buncha sexy ladies
    show up in a place like this?
[06:27] Marshmallow
    Wait, are you scared of women?
[06:31] Miki
    N-No! I have five older sisters...
[06:37] Marshmallow
    Oh, I get it. You must've
    been their errand boy.
[06:40] Miki
    Yup. I can handle them if they're younger,
[06:43] Miki
    but if they're older, they're scar—
[06:45] Sexy Ladies
    Hey, let's do something fun.
[06:48] Marshmallow
    But why'd the thing he's scared
    of show up now of all times?
[06:49] Miki
    Stop... No... Wait, what are you touching?!
[06:56] Sano
    Did someone get caught?
[06:59] Kazuo
    That aside, it looks like we got really lost.
[07:04] Sano
    We didn't get lost. Those other
    two useless idiots got lost.
[07:13] Fake Haruaki
    Sano-kun!
[07:15] Fake Haruaki
    Where have you been?!
[07:16] Sano
    Don't just show up out of
    nowhere and latch on to me!
[07:19] Sano
    You creepo!
[07:20] Fake Haruaki 2
    Hey! Don't say that, Sano-kun!
[07:25] Sano
    Damn you, Seimei!
[07:27] Sano
    You can clone yourself?
    I knew you weren't human!
[07:30] Fake Haruaki 3
    But I am human, Sano-kun.
[07:33] Fake Haruaki 4
    Ah, Sano-kun!
[07:35] Fake Haruaki 5
    Hey, there's Sano-kun.
[07:36] Sano
    Huh? No... wait...
[07:37] Fake Haruakis
    Yay, it's Sano-kun!
[07:40] Fake Haruakis
    Sano-kun! Sano-kun! Sano-kun! Sano-kun!
SIGN    Sano-kun
[07:45] Ranmaru
    All right! We beat those
    two strong-looking guys!
[07:49] Ranmaru
    Way to go, Scribe!
[07:51] Bonmaru
    Okay, the clippers are ready,
    so let's get shaving.
[07:56] Hatanaka
    What are you going to do with
    our fur after you shave it?
[07:58] Bonmaru
    We're gonna auction it off online.
SIGN    YOUKAI! Auctions
SIGN    What are you looking for?
SIGN    
    Animal Youkai Fur 50g
    Currently 5,000 yen
SIGN    m -35 60 l -35 19 40 19 40 60
SIGN    
    Animal Youkai Fur 100g
    Currently 9,000 yen
SIGN    m -35 60 l -35 19 40 19 40 60
[08:01] Bonmaru
    There are fanatics out there
    who'll shell out for them.
[08:03] Bonmaru
    I mean, villains need money, too.
[08:06] Mamekichi
    What? Talk about a lame reason...
[08:10] Tamao
    Piss off!
[08:11] Tamao
    You're not gonna shave us just
    so you can make some money!
[08:15] Tamao
    You creepy old guy with long hair!
[08:16] Bonmaru
    Oh? Which one of you just called me
    a creepy old guy with long hair?
[08:21] Tamao
    It was this puny weasel, sir.
[08:24] Hatanaka
    You shitty little cat!
[08:27] Bonmaru
    It's fine. I love critters who
    like throwing away their lives.
[08:35] Ranmaru
    The only one left is...
[08:41] Haruaki
    What do I do? I don't know where we are!
[08:45] Noriko
    I thought I heard the other two
    scream. I hope they're okay...
[08:50] Noriko
    Wait, huh?
[08:51] Noriko
    I think I see a light over there.
[08:55] Haruaki
    Huh? A c-convenience store?
[09:00] Haruaki
    What's it doing here?
[09:02] Haruaki
    Th-Those are...
[09:04] Haruaki
    Middle schoolers hanging out
    at the convenience store!
[09:09] Haruaki
    I'm so scared! I'm gonna get killed!
SIGN    Principal
SIGN    Cockroaches
SIGN    Band of Burglars
SIGN    Ghosts and Youkai
[09:11] Small Old Man
    Nothing scares Haruaki more
[09:13] Small Old Man
    than middle schoolers hanging
    out at a convenience store.
SIGN    Middle schoolers
    hanging out at a
    convenience store
SIGN    The principal is here
[09:17] Noriko
    Anyway, Seimei-kun.
[09:19] Noriko
    As a teacher, you need to
    tell them a thing or two.
[09:22] Haruaki
    Huh?! I can't! I'm scared!
[09:24] Noriko
    You dummy!
[09:26] Noriko
    Seimei-kun! You're not going to be
    a wimpy failure forever, are you?
[09:32] Noriko
    You're a wonderful teacher who's
    supposed to guide his students.
[09:37] Noriko
    If you run away now, how can
    you ever stand before them?
[09:41] Noriko
    I know you can do it, Seimei-kun!
[09:44] Haruaki
    Noriko...
[09:46] Haruaki
    That's right.
[09:47] Haruaki
    I'm not the same guy who
    was so scared of delinquents
[09:49] Futon fairy
    Blankie!
[09:50] Haruaki
    that I became the futon fairy!
[09:52] Haruaki
    I'm...
[09:54] Haruaki
    a teacher!
[09:55] Haruaki
    H-Hey, you two!
[09:59] Haruaki
    You're in the way sitting
    there. You need to move!
SIGN    Screeee
[10:03] Students
    You want a piece of us?!
[10:07] Haruaki
    Oh, no!
[10:09] Haruaki
    I was talking to
[10:11] Haruaki
    this small, nameless ladybug
    that's in front of you.
[10:15] Noriko
    I mean, we wouldn't have an issue
    if a little lecture could actually
[10:19] Noriko
    change a personality that was
    twenty-some years in the making.
[10:22] Student 1
    Hey, so what're you tryin'
    to say, you ladybug bastard?
[10:27] Haruaki
    I-It's not good to hang out
    in front of a store...
[10:30] Students
    What?!
[10:31] Haruaki
    It's bothering the other customers...
[10:36] Haruaki
    So you should stop!
[10:38] Haruaki
    So you should stop!
[10:40] Haruaki
    So you should stop!
[10:49] Miki
    No! Stop!
[10:53] Ranmaru
    I knew it.
[10:56] Ranmaru
    It's been a thousand years,
    Seimei Abeno-kun.
[11:00] Haruaki
    Th-They turned into logs.
[11:04] Noriko
    I'm sure there was some youkai
    magic cast on these logs.
[11:07] Noriko
    Whenever someone came nearby,
[11:08] Noriko
    they turned into the thing they're
    most scared of, or something.
[11:11] Haruaki
    I see...
[11:13] Tenmaru
    You actually broke a Karasu
    Tengu's youkai magic spell.
[11:16] Tenmaru
    What did you do?
[11:19] Tenmaru
    Just who are you?
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[11:33] Tenmaru
    So...
[11:35] Tenmaru
    What was that power you just used?
[11:39] Haruaki
    This kidnapper-looking guy just saw me.
[11:41] Haruaki
    I need to lie.
[11:43] Haruaki
    I-I'm an employee at this chemical lab.
[11:48] Haruaki
    What you just saw was... um...
[11:51] Haruaki
    something having to do with
    chemistry or something.
[11:56] Tenmaru
    Oh, I see. You're from the chemical lab.
[12:00] Haruaki
    Okay, we're going to see if there's some
    kind of chemical leak or something!
[12:05] Tenmaru
    That's interesting. I heard this place
    is a former sweets factory.
[12:09] Haruaki
    What?!
[12:11] Haruaki
    We're sorry for lying!
[12:12] Noriko
    Yup.
[12:14] Tenmaru
    Actually, I'm lying.
[12:16] Haruaki
    He's a liar!
[12:17] Tenmaru
    You're a teacher from
    Hyakki Academy, aren't you?
[12:21] Tenmaru
    I already knew that.
[12:23] Haruaki
    Then we're going to exercise
    our right to remain silent now!
[12:25] Noriko
    Yup.
[12:26] Tenmaru
    Oh?
[12:27] Haruaki
    C-Come at me! E-Even if you
    hit me, I won't say a word...
[12:34] Haruaki
    I'm sorry! Please don't hit me!
[12:36] Ranmaru
    Hey, Scribe! Don't be violent with the lad.
[12:43] Tenmaru
    Do you know him?
[12:44] Ranmaru
    I do! I never thought
    I'd run into him here, though.
[12:51] Ranmaru
    I see that power of yours is as strong as ever...
[12:56] Ranmaru
    The power to exorcise demons.
[13:06] Bonmaru
    Damn it... Where'd they go?!
[13:09] Bonmaru
    Over there?
[13:12] Tamao
    Did he leave?
[13:13] Mamekichi
    Looks like it.
[13:15] Tamao
    We managed to find a chance to escape.
[13:17] Hatanaka
    Yeah. I forgot, but...
[13:22] Tamao and Mamekichi
    Hooray!
[13:23] Hatanaka
    I'm a kamaitachi, so I can cut
    through cages pretty easily.
[13:27] Mamekichi
    You can be a bit spacey
    sometimes, Hatanaka-sensei.
[13:30] Tamao
    It's good that we were able to escape, but...
[13:33] Mamekichi
    Looks like we got out a bit too late.
[13:37] Tamao
    Damn those other animals escaping before us!
[13:41] Hatanaka
    Such a cruel world.
[13:42] Mamekichi
    If they catch us now,
    they're not just gonna shave us.
[13:46] Mamekichi
    They'll probably kill us and
    throw us into a hotpot.
[13:51] Tamao
    What?! But I still have so much I wanna do!
[13:54] Tamao
    I don't wanna be a hotpot!
[13:57] Hatanaka
    I'm sure whatever you didn't
    do wasn't that important.
[14:01] Hatanaka
    Come on, stop crying.
[14:03] Mamekichi
    The way you're trying to cheer him up,
[14:06] Mamekichi
    it's hard to believe you're a teacher...
[14:08] Mandragora
    The water's great.
SIGN    Sulk...
[14:09] Tamao
    You see... I have a dream.
[14:12] Tamao
    I want Ren-Ren to find a
    lovely girlfriend and be happy.
[14:17] Mamekichi
    Oh? You're suddenly trying
    to be a goody two-shoes?
SIGN    Beautiful
[14:20] Tamao
    And then, they'll eventually get married,
SIGN    Beautiful
[14:22] Tamao
    and Ren-Ren will build a huge white house.
[14:26] Tamao
    Ren-Ren, the wonderful husband, his
    beautiful wife, their adorable daughter...
SIGN    Beautiful
[14:31] Tamao
    and me.
[14:33] Hatanaka
    This guy's trying to be a pet!
[14:36] Hatanaka
    You cretin! You're supposedly a nekomata!
[14:39] Tamao
    "Supposedly" nothing! I'm 100% a nekomata.
[14:41] Hatanaka
    Nope! I'm leaving that
    "supposedly" label on you!
SIGN    Supposedly
SIGN    Beautiful
[14:45] Tamao
    Of course, since they're gonna feed
    me, I'll be as adorable as possible!
[14:49] Hatanaka
    Never mind. You're just a plain ol' cat.
[14:52] Mamekichi
    Have you told Nyuudou-kun any of that?
[14:55] Tamao
    Nope.
[14:56] Tamao
    He'd probably get mad if I told him now,
[14:58] Tamao
    so I figured I'd tell him when he's
    giddy over having a girlfriend.
[15:01] Hatanaka
    I guess you can be a bit calculating after all.
[15:04] Tamao
    Don't you wanna be a pet when Sano
    gets married in the future, Mame?
[15:09] Mamekichi
    What? There's no way Sano-kun would
    ever love anyone other than me.
[15:13] Mamekichi
    He won't get married.
[15:15] Hatanaka
    This is getting really dark...
[15:18] Bonmaru
    Caught you.
[15:21] Mamekichi
    Save me, Sano-kun!
[15:24] Bonmaru
    Sado-kun?
[15:25] Mamekichi
    It's Sano-kun!
[15:26] Mamekichi
    Sano-kun is nice, strong, cool,
    handsome, and he loves me...
[15:32] Mamekichi
    And he's a huge sadist!
[15:33] Sano
    The hell...
[15:35] Sano
    do you think you're doing
    to Mame, you dumbass?!
[15:39] Hatanaka
    Sano! Miki!
[15:41] Miki
    Heya. Still alive?
[15:43] Marshmallow
    Marshmallow...
[15:44] Kazuo
    ...and Kazuo are here, too.
[15:48] Sano
    Mame!
[15:50] Mamekichi
    Sano-kun!
[15:54] Mamekichi
    I was so scared, Sano-kun!
[15:56] Mamekichi
    That old guy said he was gonna
    skin us and put us in a hotpot!
[16:02] Sano
    Okay, let's kill him.
[16:03] Bonmaru
    I-I didn't say any of that.
[16:06] Bonmaru
    I'm not going to be taken down...
[16:09] Bonmaru
    that easily!
[16:14] Sano
    He summoned a human-faced rock!
[16:16] Miki
    He didn't summon it! He used youkai magic to turn a stone into that!
[16:21] Small Old Man
    Karasu Tengu.
[16:22] Small Old Man
    Youkai that are said to be mountain gods.
[16:25] Small Old Man
    With their divine youkai magic,
[16:27] Small Old Man
    they can transform objects
    and make people see illusions.
[16:31] Bonmaru
    Now, then...
[16:33] Bonmaru
    If you don't wanna die, hand them over!
[16:36] Sano
    Hell no!
[16:36] Miki
    Honestly, I want to hand them
    over if that'll save me!
[16:42] Sano
    But what do we do now?
[16:44] Sano
    This is gonna be worse than
    getting your fur shaved off!
[16:47] Tamao
    I mean... What do you want from a
    yakubyougami that can only strip,
[16:50] Tamao
    an oni that only has a horn,
    and three animals?
[16:54] Miki
    Oh, damn it! Fine!
[16:57] Miki
    I am an actual oni youkai, after all!
[17:00] Rock
    Blocked?!
[17:02] Miki
    I can at least stop it...
[17:05] Marshmallow
    Guys! I'll stall him!
[17:08] Miki
    You ain't doin' shit, Marshmallow!
[17:11] Miki
    If I only had sake, then I could turn
    this rock into dust in a single blow!
[17:15] Mamekichi
    Even if you turned it into dust,
    you'd be drunk, so you'd just run wild.
[17:19] Tamao
    That'd just be more enemies...
[17:20] Bonmaru
    You can act all cool stopping that thing, but...
[17:23] Bonmaru
    The number of human-faced rocks I can make...
[17:26] Bonmaru
    isn't just one.
[17:32] Miki
    No way...
[17:35] Ranmaru
    What?!
[17:37] Ranmaru
    You're not Seimei-kun?
    You're his descendant?
[17:41] Haruaki
    I-I think so...
[17:43] Ranmaru
    Then I know!
[17:44] Ranmaru
    Haruaki-kun, you should join
    the Karasu Tengu Troupe, too!
[17:47] Haruaki
    Wait, why?
[17:48] Ranmaru
    You should be using your powers for evil!
[17:51] Ranmaru
    And stop being a teacher for that nasty guy.
[17:56] Principal
    Oh? You wouldn't happen to be
    talking about me, would you?
[18:02] Principal
    Honestly...
[18:07] Haruaki
    I was so scared, Principal!
[18:11] Principal
    Could you not poach my subordinates?
[18:15] Ranmaru
    But it's okay for you to kick them?!
[18:17] Principal
    And just how long are you going
    to keep up your petty crimes?
[18:22] Principal
    It's about time to hang up the hat, isn't it?
[18:26] Ranmaru
    Nah, I'm good with being in this for life.
[18:29] Ranmaru
    Besides...
[18:31] Ranmaru
    You're the last person I want to
    hear that from, considering
[18:34] Ranmaru
    how obsessed you are with Seimei.
[18:38] Haruaki
    Principal...
[18:41] Bonmaru
    All right... Are you ready to give up?
[18:45] Bonmaru
    You don't want to end up like him, do you?
[18:48] Marshmallow
    Rintarou... We sorta suck this episode.
[18:52] Miki
    I know, right?
[18:56] Sano
    In that case...
[19:00] Sano
    I'll just have to hope this works!
[19:03] Mamekichi
    Don't worry! You can do it, Sano-kun!
[19:07] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Don't worry, Sano-kun!
[19:15] Bonmaru
    What the...
[19:21] Principal/Haruaki/Ranmaru/Tenmaru
    Huh?
[19:29] Principal
    Why did it hit me, too?
[19:32] Ranmaru
    Wh-What is this?
[19:34] Tenmaru
    Lieutenant...
[19:35] Bonmaru
    Captain! Scribe!
[19:39] Sano
    I-I did it.
[19:41] Mamekichi
    That was amazing, Sano-kun! You beat
    that something-or-other troupe!
[19:45] Bonmaru
    That's it! Forget skinning
    those animals. Let's scram.
[19:48] Tenmaru
    I'll murder you later, Lieutenant.
[19:51] Haruaki
    Hey! They're running away!
[19:52] Haruaki
    Someone catch those guys!
[19:59] Ranmaru
    Where'd this mud puddle come from?!
[20:01] Bonmaru
    Damn it! I don't know what's going on,
    but let's abandon the captain.
[20:05] Tenmaru
    Agreed.
[20:07] Ranmaru
    Save me! I can't swim!
[20:09] Tenmaru
    Why is there a mud puddle here?
[20:12] Hijita
    Heya!
[20:15] Hijita
    Looks like you've been taking
    real good care of our buddies.
[20:19] Haruaki
    Everyone!
[20:21] Tamao
    Ren-Ren!
[20:22] Nyuudou
    Tama! You still fluffy?
[20:24] Tamao
    Yeah! I'm still fluffy.
[20:27] Beniko
    We called the authorities, too.
    The police will be here soon.
[20:33] Nyuudou
    What the heck?
[20:34] Hijita
    He flung up my mud!
[20:38] Beniko
    Damn it! They got away!
[20:40] Hijita
    Search for them! They're
    dead meat once we find them!
[20:44] Bonmaru
    What's with those guys? They seem
    way more like villains than we do.
SIGN    Youkai News
SIGN    Heroes! Abducted Animal Youkai
    Find Fur Stash While Escaping!
SIGN    Heroes! Abducted Animal Youkai
    Find Fur Stash While Escaping!
[20:54] Tamao
    Hey...
[20:56] Tamao
    Those guys didn't do anything!
    Why are they in the paper?!
[21:00] Mamekichi
    Honestly, you've done the
    least out of everyone this time.
[21:03] Haruaki
    Well, we were able to stop their
    crimes, so I think we're even.
[21:08] Tamao
    Oh, we're definitely even.
[21:10] Tamao
    Lookie! I managed to swipe those mask and
    glasses guys' wallets during all the chaos.
[21:15] Small Old Man
    Don't try this at home, kids.
[21:18] Haruaki
    I mean, I know they're thieves,
    but you shouldn't steal from them.
[21:21] Haruaki
    One, two, three... 3,000 yen.
[21:24] Tenmaru
    Who's the thief here?
[21:26] Haruaki
    Whoa! You startled me!
[21:28] Haruaki
    Wait... Who are you?
[21:30] Tenmaru
    I'm from Class 1-3. I'm Tenmaru Karasuma.
[21:34] Tenmaru
    Nice hanging out with you yesterday.
[21:36] Haruaki
    You're a student here?!
    Oh, that's why you knew me.
[21:41] Tenmaru
    We were utterly defeated yesterday.
    We'll give up on the fur business.
[21:49] Tenmaru
    But if you guys aren't careful,
[21:51] Tenmaru
    the Karasu Tengu Troupe might
    steal something from you, too.
[21:56] Haruaki
    Huh? Hey! That's my wallet!
[21:59] Tenmaru
    Well, we can just trade
    for the other two wallets...
[22:04] Tenmaru
    Hey, there's only 80 yen in here!
[22:07] Haruaki
    Well, it's before payday.

Season 1

10 - School Camp of Terror

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Haruaki
    On an extremely hot summer day...
[00:04] Haruaki
    We're having a school camp on the beach.
[00:06] Haruaki
    We, the members of Class 2-3, are at a
    camping site on the outskirts of the island.
[00:10] Hatanaka
    Hey. You don't have
    too much time to relax.
[00:15] Hatanaka
    Your spookology exam begins after this.
[00:18] Haruaki
    Wait, isn't this supposed
    to just be a school camp?
[00:22] Sano
    School?
SIGN    No Trespassing
[00:23] Hatanaka
    This is the old Hyakki
    Academy school building.
[00:25] Hatanaka
    The exam will take place here.
[00:27] Hatanaka
    Spookology is a class in which you'll
    do practical training for spooking.
[00:30] Hatanaka
    You'll bring out your youkai powers
    in various places and situations.
[00:36] Hatanaka
    You'll be staying here for the night.
[00:39] All
    What?!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
[02:15] Haruaki
    It feels like some youkai
    might jump out at any moment.
SIGN    Fire
[02:18] Nyuudou
    Take a good look around you.
[02:21] Nyuudou
    For an old building,
    it's actually not that dusty.
SIGN    Episode 10
    "School Camp of Terror"
[02:24] Toubyou
    It's probably because Class 2 used this
    place for their school camp last week.
[02:28] Mujina
    Come to think of it, Class 2 seemed pretty
    down in the dumps after their school camp.
SIGN    Oni
SIGN    Oni
SIGN    Oni
SIGN    Oni
SIGN    Oni
SIGN    Oni
SIGN    Oni
SIGN    Oni
SIGN    Oni
[02:36] Nyuudou
    Wow... So we're gonna
    sleep in the classroom?
[02:39] Haruaki
    That's actually kinda exciting.
[02:41] Hatanaka
    Okay, I'll explain how this is all going to go.
[02:44] Hatanaka
    First, be aware that the only restroom
    is at the other end of the courtyard.
[02:49] Kuniko
    Thank goodness! There's actually a bath!
[02:53] Hijita
    D-Don't go peeking this time.
[02:55] Girls
    We won't, fool!
[03:01] Haruaki
    Hey, let's have some boys'
    talk before we go to bed!
[03:04] Sano
    Why are you trying to
    mingle with the students?
[03:06] Haruaki
    Okay, let's start. Who has a girlfriend?
[03:08] All
    Silence...
[03:11] Hijita
    W-We're gonna get girlfriends this summer!
[03:15] Hijita
    Ain't that right, boys?!
[03:16] All
    Y-Yeah...
[03:18] Haruaki
    Ow!
[03:19] Hatanaka
    Why are you trying to talk
    romance with the students?
[03:22] Haruaki
    I figured you'd show up eventually.
[03:25] Haruaki
    Okay, Hatanaka-sensei. Once we get back
    to the room, let's talk about roma—
[03:28] Hatanaka
    Absolutely not. The rest of
    you, hurry up and sleep!
[03:31] Students
    Aw...
[03:32] Hatanaka
    I hear bad kids who don't go to bed early
    will get a goodnight kiss from Miki-sensei.
[03:38] All
    Goodnight!
SIGN    Sleep
[03:47] Tamao
    Ren-Ren, Ren-Ren.
[03:51] Tamao
    Do you need to go to the bathroom, Ren-Ren?
[03:54] Tamao
    I don't mind going with you
    if you need to go right now.
[04:00] Nyuudou
    How is a youkai too scared of
    ghosts to go to the bathroom?
[04:03] Tamao
    Youkai and ghosts are different!
[04:06] Tamao
    I mean, those guys are dead.
[04:07] Nyuudou
    Alive or not, we're all
    supposed to spook peop—
[04:13] Renjou
    Oh, my. What are two
    gentlemen like yourselves
[04:16] Renjou
    doing out at this hour while
    embracing each other?
[04:19] Nyuudou
    R-Renjou... What the heck are
    you doing out here this late?
[04:23] Renjou
    Kuniko went to the bathroom
    and hasn't come back.
[04:27] Renjou
    It's been over an hour.
[04:29] Nyuudou
    Utagawa-san? Well, now I'm worried.
[04:32] Nyuudou
    Let's go to the bathroom
    and look for her, too.
[04:34] Tamao
    Right! Uh, Ren-Ren, don't leave my side, though.
SIGN    Men Women
[04:39] Tamao
    Ren-Ren, are you there?
[04:41] Nyuudou
    I am.
[04:42] Renjou
    Kuniko? What about you?
[04:45] Nyuudou
    What is it? Did you find Utagawa-san?
[04:48] Nyuudou
    Renjou?
[04:51] Nyuudou
    Hey, Renjou! I'm coming in.
[04:54] Nyuudou
    Don't call me a perv when I go in.
[04:57] Nyuudou
    Hey, no hiding somewhere to jump-scare me.
[05:02] Nyuudou
    Wh-What...
[05:04] Nyuudou
    Renjou! Don't mess with me!
[05:07] Nyuudou
    Even I get scared at things like...
SIGN    Caught you,
    Nyuudou-kun
[05:14] Tamao
    Whew. Sorry to keep you waiting.
[05:16] Tamao
    You wouldn't believe this bathroom!
    They actually had a litter box.
[05:23] Tamao
    R-Ren-Ren? Hello?
[05:31] Tamao
    What's that noise?
[05:43] Small Old Man
    This is the teachers' room.
SIGN    Class 1-3
[05:47] Haruaki
    Huh? What's going—Huh? Wha...
[05:50] Haruaki
    Akisame-kun?!
[05:52] Tamao
    Seimei!
[05:55] Haruaki
    What?!
[05:56] Haruaki
    Nyuudou-kun and some other kids disappeared?
[05:59] Sano
    Seimei!
[06:00] Haruaki
    Sano-kun! You guys!
[06:02] Small Old Man
    Blah, blah, yada, yada.
SIGN    Blah, blah
    Yada, yada
[06:04] Haruaki
    What?! The students in our class keep
    disappearing one after another?!
[06:08] Fuji
    Apparently, ten are already missing,
    including Nyuudou and the others.
[06:13] Hatanaka
    Looks like you've finally caught on.
[06:16] Hatanaka
    I'm sure some of you have been
    frightened, but don't worry.
[06:20] Hatanaka
    This is the spookology exam.
[06:22] Hijita
    This is the exam?!
[06:25] Hatanaka
    There are currently several Hyakki
    Academy alumni in this building.
[06:29] Hatanaka
    They're doing various things to
    spook all of you and capture you.
[06:33] Tamao
    Wh-What are we supposed to do?
[06:36] Hatanaka
    There is just one person who has
    the key to the door leading outside.
[06:40] Hatanaka
    If even one of you can catch them, get the
    key, and escape this building, you all pass.
[06:46] Haruaki
    Er... What should I be doing?
[06:49] Hatanaka
    Abe-sensei, you'll... well, you know.
[06:52] Hatanaka
    Since you're their teacher, make sure
    you properly support your students.
[06:56] Hijita
    Hey! You're just trying to push him onto
    us because he's in the way, aren't you?!
[06:59] Toubyou
    Seimei should be on the teachers' team!
[07:01] Hatanaka
    Shut up! No returns on defective items!
[07:03] Kurahashi
    Um... So what happens if everyone's
    caught or we don't find the key?
[07:09] Hatanaka
    It's no big deal.
[07:10] Hatanaka
    You'll just have to spend the first half of
    your summer vacation in remedial classes.
[07:14] Hijita
    B-But that's just so cruel...
[07:17] Toubyou
    Do you want us to die?
[07:19] Hatanaka
    Otherwise, you'll just have to use your
    youkai magic and abilities to get away.
[07:24] Hatanaka
    Your time limit ends when the sun rises.
[07:27] Hatanaka
    All right. Let the final
    exam on spookology begin!
[07:34] Hijita
    There's no point in us all staying here.
SIGN    Rock
[07:37] Hijita
    Let's split up into groups of rock, paper,
    scissors, and heart to look for the key.
SIGN    Scissors
SIGN    Paper
SIGN    Heart
[07:40] Mamekichi
    Heart?
SIGN    Heart
[07:41] Hijita
    Okay, let's go!
[07:42] Hijita
    Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
[07:45] Group 1
    Rock!
SIGN    Group 1
[07:45] Small old man
    Those who threw rock are Group 1.
SIGN    Group 1
[07:47] Group 2
    Scissors!
SIGN    Group 2
[07:47] Small old man
    Scissors are Group 2.
SIGN    Group 2
[07:49] Group 3
    Paper!
SIGN    Group 3
[07:49] Small Old Man
    Paper are Group 3.
SIGN    Group 3
SIGN    Group 4
[07:51] Small Old Man
    And those who threw heart are Group 4.
[07:51] Group 4
    Heart!
SIGN    Group 4
SIGN    2nd Floor
[07:54] Sano
    We, Group 4, will search this floor.
[07:57] Fuji
    Sounds good, thanks.
[07:59] Sano
    Hey, Fuji, you always dress like
    a girl. Is that just a hobby?
[08:03] Fuji
    I just like crossdressing.
[08:05] Ohaguro
    Do you really have time for idle chatter?
[08:09] Sano
    What the heck is that?!
[08:10] Haruaki
    Um, uh, it's an ohaguro bettari.
    A youkai with black teeth.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai
    Dictionary
[08:15] Tamao
    Go to the damn dentist!
[08:18] Ohaguro
    Caught you—Huh?
[08:21] Haruaki
    I guess that's a yuki-onna for you.
[08:23] Fuji
    You can just stay there until morning.
[08:26] Small old man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[08:28] Small Old Man
    Yuki-onna. Their breath is so
    cold that it can freeze people.
[08:32] Small Old Man
    They'd make great air
    conditioners in the summer.
[08:34] Haruaki
    Wouldn't Fuji-kun be a
    yuki-otoko since he's a boy?
[08:38] Fuji
    You're thinking of a yeti, and that's a UMA.
SIGN    1st Floor, Group 1
[08:42] Small old man
    Meanwhile, Group 1 on the first floor was...
SIGN    1st Floor, Group 1
[08:47] Toubyou
    This is bad! This is bad!
[08:48] Toubyou
    The classroom skeleton, an anatomical
    model, and Kinjirou Ninomiya
[08:48] Skeleton; model; Ninomiya
    One, two! One, two! One, two! One, two!
[08:50] Toubyou
    are chasing after us like
    they're in a four-legged race!
[08:53] All
    This is terrifying!
[08:54] Toubyou
    Let's hide in that room!
SIGN    Infirmary
[08:58] Takahashi
    Oh, welcome in.
[09:00] Toubyou
    Hey! It's the doctor that's
    at our school sometimes!
[09:03] Toubyou
    Is it Yatsuhashi-sensei?
[09:04] Takahashi
    It's Takahashi-sensei.
[09:06] Kurahashi
    I-I guess you're an alumnus...
[09:09] Takahashi
    Though that was about a hundred years ago.
[09:12] Takahashi
    Also...
[09:13] Takahashi
    I'm not the only alumnus here.
[09:16] Takahashi
    Have you ever heard of a
    youkai called yamanba?
[09:19] Takahashi
    They greet humans who wander into the
    mountains with their beautiful faces...
[09:23] Takahashi
    and then eat them. They're terrifying youkai!
[09:27] Takahashi
    All right. Now that you can't get away,
    it's time for your medical exams.
SIGN    3rd Floor, Group 2
[09:36] Small Old Man
    Meanwhile, Group 2 was in the art
    room on the third floor, and...
SIGN    3rd Floor, Group 2
SIGN    Art Room
[09:41] Hatanaka
    Kurahashi, Toubyou, Ogatarin,
    and Ogoso have all fallen.
[09:45] Hatanaka
    Only eleven remain.
[09:46] Mamekichi
    We gotta find the key before
    everyone gets caught!
[09:49] Yanagida
    Don't worry.
[09:50] Yanagida
    If all else fails, I'll use my medicine to
    blow this place to smithereens and escape.
[09:54] Doppel Yamazaki
    Whoa there, that's not happening.
[09:55] Yanagida
    Wh-What the?! What just happened?!
[09:58] Marilyn
    Gah! Yanagida multiplied!
[10:01] Doppel Yanagida
    You stupid Fakegida! I'm not
    some dumb rag like you!
[10:04] Yanagida
    You dumb Knockoffgida!
[10:05] Yanagida
    I don't look like a stupid loincloth, either!
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[10:08] Small Old Man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
[10:10] Small Old Man
    Doppelgänger.
[10:11] Small Old Man
    Something bad will happen
[10:12] Small Old Man
    if you run into a doppelgänger
    that looks just like you.
[10:15] Yanagidas
    You guys can tell, right? You know which
    one of us is the Realgida, right?!
[10:19] Yanagidas
    Oh? Hey, why are you tying us both up?!
[10:22] Mamekichi
    We might as well blast
    both of them off into space.
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Rocket Firework
[10:25] Doppel Yanagida
    No way! That's so mean! I'm the real one!
[10:29] Yanagida
    Good grief. Are you all that
    jealous of my talents?
[10:32] Mamekichi
    You're the Lyingida!
[10:33] Marilyn
    The real Yanagida wouldn't
    lose heart over this!
[10:36] Doppel Yanagida
    Say what?!
[10:37] Mamekichi
    He wouldn't lose heart,
    reflect, or apologize!
[10:40] Mamekichi
    He's an absolute piece of shit to the core!
[10:42] Mamekichi
    That's who Yanagida is!
[10:43] Yanagida
    Aw, shucks. Flattery will get you nowhere.
[10:45] Mamekichi
    Anyway, let's burn the fake.
[10:48] Yanagida
    Okay, we'll use this special
    medicine with the Yanagida label
[10:51] Yanagida
    to turn this doppel bastard into dust!
[10:55] Yanagida
    Hi-yah!
[11:01] Mamekichi
    We should've burned the real one first.
SIGN    Group 2 is Out
[11:05] Small Old Man
    Group 2 is out.
SIGN    Broadcast Room
[11:08] Hijita
    Huh?
SIGN    3rd Floor, Group 3
[11:09] Small Old Man
    This is Group 3 on the third floor.
[11:12] Hijita
    We can't get into the broadcast room.
[11:14] Beniko
    And here we were, trying to surprise
    attack Hatanaka and the others.
[11:18] Satou
    I'm a nurikabe.
[11:20] Hatanaka
    You guys are way too obvious.
[11:22] Hijita
    I guess we'll just have
    to properly look around.
[11:25] Hijita
    What's wrong?
[11:26] Odawara
    Out... Outside the window...
[11:32] Odawara
    It's the night parade of one hundred demons!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[11:44] Odawara
    Th-The night parade of one
    hundred demons is attacking!
[11:47] Hijita
    Run away!
[11:48] Oboroguruma
    You're not getting away.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[11:51] Small Old man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
[11:53] Small Old man
    Oboroguruma. An oxcart youkai.
[11:59] Odawara
    No!
[12:01] Hijita
    Odawara! Satsuki!
[12:03] Hijita
    Beniko!
[12:10] Hijita
    Beniko!
[12:15] Hijita
    Damn it! Now I'm absolutely
    determined to find that key
[12:18] Hijita
    and get the hell outta here. No matter what!
SIGN    Group 4
[12:21] Small old man
    Group 4 is on the 2nd floor.
[12:24] Hatanaka
    Satsuki, Odawara, and
    Zashiki have been caught.
[12:28] Hatanaka
    Only four remain.
[12:29] Haruaki
    I guess they got everyone but Hijita-kun.
[12:32] Sano
    Don't tell me they got Mame, too.
[12:33] Tamao
    Show yourselves, alumni!
[12:35] Tamao
    I'm gonna...
[12:38] Tamao
    scratch all of you!
[12:39] Nyuudou (Doppel Yamazaki)
    Hey.
[12:40] Tamao
    I'm sorry!
[12:42] Nyuudou
    Tama?!
[12:45] Haruaki
    N-Nyuudou-kun! You're safe!
[12:48] Nyuudou
    Yeah, some weird youkai attacked me,
[12:51] Nyuudou
    so I was hiding in an empty
    classroom for a while.
[12:53] Tamao
    You were hiding this whole time?
[12:55] Tamao
    You left me alone in the bathroom.
[12:58] Nyuudou
    S-Sorry about that. But I
    was getting chased, too.
[13:01] Nyuudou
    So did you guys find the key?
[13:03] Haruaki
    No, not yet.
[13:05] Haruaki
    Hey, maybe someone other
    than the spookers has it.
[13:09] Haruaki
    It might be possible that
    the teachers may have it.
[13:12] Nyuudou
    I'm sure the teachers wouldn't
    do something that mean.
[13:15] Nyuudou
    I don't think that's likely.
[13:17] Haruaki
    Sano-kun, isn't Nyuudou-kun being weird?
[13:21] Sano
    Huh?
[13:22] Haruaki
    There's just something off about him...
[13:25] Nyuudou
    What's wrong?
[13:25] Haruaki
    Oh, cray! I mean clay!
[13:27] Haruaki
    Er, we were just talking about earthenware!
[13:29] Haruaki
    Which do you prefer,
    Nyuudou-kun? Jomon? Yayoi?
[13:31] Haruaki
    I honestly prefer Reiwa myself...
[13:33] Sano
    Something feels off, huh?
[13:36] Nezumi
    Hello, students. Did you find the key?
[13:38] Haruaki
    N-Nezumi-sensei! A-And...
[13:41] Fuji
    The key! He's conspicuously
    carrying around the key!
[13:44] Nezumi
    I've gained a little weight lately, so I'll
    play with you all to get some exercise in.
[13:47] Nezumi
    Lickity-squeak!
[13:49] Tamao
    Oh, please!
[13:50] Tamao
    Don't underestimate me, you dumb rodent!
[13:52] Nezumi
    You can say...
[13:53] Nezumi
    things like that...
[13:55] Nezumi
    once you make it into...
[13:56] Nezumi
    the Chinese zodiac, you dumb cat.
[13:59] Fuji
    You just keep scampering about,
    you annoying little thing.
[14:03] Fuji
    Just stop.
[14:10] Haruaki
    Hey! He's hibernating because of the cold!
[14:12] Tamao
    I got the key! Ta-da!
[14:15] Sano
    Hey! Doesn't that key seem kinda bent?
[14:18] Fuji
    Hey, squeakface. What's going on here? Huh?
[14:22] Nezumi
    Hm? Looks like you fell for it.
[14:24] Nezumi
    This is chocolate for my midnight snack!
[14:26] Nezumi
    Munch, munch, munch.
[14:30] Nezumi
    I'm back.
[14:31] Both
    What?!
[14:33] Mandragora
    Om nom.
[14:34] Haruaki
    We've searched most of the second floor,
    so maybe we should go down to the first floor.
[14:39] Haruaki
    Hijita-kun's still on the third floor, too.
[14:41] Sano
    Yeah.
[14:50] Haruaki
    Sano-kun!
SIGN    Sano-kun
[14:52] Kainade
    Sano-kun!
SIGN    Found you
[14:55] Kainade
    Found you!
[14:57] Haruaki
    B-Behind you!
[14:59] Sano
    Huh?
[15:00] Nyuudou
    S-Sano!
[15:02] Tamao
    Wh-What are those hands?!
[15:04] Tamao
    Seimei?
[15:06] Sano
    Wh-What the hell are these things?!
[15:07] Haruaki
    A black bowl cut and a black sailor uniform!
[15:11] Haruaki
    How lovely! You really
    don't see that nowadays.
[15:18] Hatanaka
    There's something wrong with the footage...
[15:20] Miki
    What's going on with Abe-sensei?
    Looks like he's talking to someone.
[15:25] Nyuudou
    Wh-What the hell are you doing?!
[15:28] Haruaki
    Whoops. Sorry.
[15:37] Nyuudou
    It's getting brighter outside!
[15:39] Tamao
    Ugh! I don't care about the remedial classes
    anymore! Just let this end already!
[15:42] Tamao
    S-Save me!
[15:43] Kainade
    Caught you.
[15:45] Haruaki
    Akisame-kun!
[15:46] Nyuudou
    You idiots! You're gonna get caught, too!
[15:49] Tamao
    Ren-Ren!
[15:49] Fuji
    Tamao! Duck!
[15:56] Fuji
    Get on your feet! We're getting
    outta here, you slow-ass cat!
[15:58] Tamao
    Fuji! You've got a bad mouth,
    but you're a good guy!
[16:03] Beto Beto
    You're not getting away!
[16:04] Tamao
    What the heck is that?!
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[16:05] Small Old Man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
[16:07] Small Old Man
    Betobeto-san.
[16:08] Small Old Man
    A stalking youkai that follows
    people without making a sound.
[16:12] Tamao
    Why, you... It's an oboroguruma!
[16:16] Fuji
    Just run, you idiot!
[16:17] Tamao
    No! I'm not so ungrateful that
    I'd abandon someone who saved me!
[16:27] Nyuudou
    Wh-What the heck?!
[16:28] Sano
    A mud puddle?
[16:29] Sano
    Which means...
[16:30] Oboroguruma
    Uh, wait...
[16:33] Hijita
    You're not getting away!
[16:34] Haruaki
    Hijita-kun!
[16:36] Hijita
    Hey, guys!
[16:37] Hijita
    Did you find the key yet?
[16:39] Haruaki
    Nope, not yet.
[16:40] Haruaki
    But now's not the time for that!
    Youkai are coming from over there, too!
[16:44] Hijita
    I'll go see if they have the key.
[16:47] Hijita
    You guys check elsewhere.
[16:49] Fuji
    I'll help out.
[16:51] Hijita
    There's not much time until sunrise.
[16:52] Hijita
    Go on ahead!
[16:54] Tamao
    Okay! Don't die, you guys!
[16:57] Haruaki
    Let's head toward the door
    while we look for the key!
[17:02] Nyuudou
    What's wrong, Sano? Did you
    figure out where the key is?
[17:05] Sano
    There's been something
    bothering me this whole time.
[17:09] Tamao
    You've got this, Sano!
    I know you can find the key!
[17:12] Haruaki
    Yeah!
[17:13] Haruaki
    Even if the teachers are savage and depraved,
    they wouldn't leave us without hints!
[17:17] Sano
    Hey, don't put this all on me...
[17:20] Sano
    They wouldn't leave us without hints?
[17:22] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Since you're their teacher, make sure
    you properly support your students.
[17:26] (Flashback) Tamao
    You were hiding this whole time?
[17:28] (Flashback) Tamao
    You left me alone in the bathroom.
[17:30] (Flashback) Tamao
    Lickity-squeak!
[17:32] (Flashback) Haruaki
    ...isn't Nyuudou-kun being weird?
[17:35] (Flashback) Haruaki
    ...so maybe we should go down to the first floor.
[17:39] Fuji
    Damn it! None of these guys have the key!
[17:43] Hijita
    A-Anyway, let's go after them, too!
[17:47] Hatanaka
    I guess Group 3 might fail
    just like Groups 1 and 2 did...
[17:52] Miki
    Wait...
[17:55] Nyuudou
    We made it all the way to the exit,
[17:57] Nyuudou
    but not only does no one have the key,
    there's not a single youkai here.
[18:01] Tamao
    Ah! The sun's coming up!
[18:04] Nyuudou
    I guess this is the end.
[18:06] Sano
    Nope.
[18:07] Sano
    We win.
[18:10] Sano
    Caught you.
[18:15] Sano
    You're the one with the
    key, aren't you, Seimei?
[18:21] Haruaki
    Guess you caught me.
[18:22] All
    What?!
[18:24] Haruaki
    I'll explain later.
[18:26] Haruaki
    Let's hurry and get out.
[18:39] Tamao
    Wait! Why did you have the
    key?! You should've told us!
[18:42] Haruaki
    I was trying to give you
    hints this whole time!
[18:45] Nyuudou
    I'm impressed you noticed, Sano.
[18:47] Sano
    Yeah.
[18:48] Sano
    He mentioned that the
    teachers may have the key,
[18:51] Sano
    then told us to head for the door
    so we could hurry and get outside,
[18:55] Sano
    and lastly, told us there
    must be a hint somewhere.
[18:59] Sano
    Also, every time we'd move around,
    he had his left hand in his pocket.
[19:03] Sano
    He was probably subconsciously checking
    to see if the key was still there.
[19:08] Nyuudou
    Well, anyway, this is great.
[19:10] Tamao
    So, hey. Who are you?
[19:13] Tamao
    Why are you pretending to be Ren-Ren?
[19:16] Nyuudou
    How did you know I wasn't Ren-Ren?
[19:18] Tamao
    My animal instincts!
[19:20] Tamao
    And Ren-Ren cares a lot about
    the power of friendship!
[19:22] Tamao
    There's no way he'd abandon me back there!
[19:25] Nyuudou
    Well, you caught me.
[19:27] Nyuudou
    I guess I'm no match for your animal... No...
[19:30] Nyuudou
    I'm no match for your friendship.
[19:32] Nyuudou
    My name's Yamazaki.
[19:33] Hijita
    Hey! It's the cop that's
    always questioning Seimei!
[19:37] Yamazaki
    I'm an alumnus from this school, too.
[19:40] Yamazaki
    I disguised myself as Yanagida-kun
    and Nyuudou-kun to mislead you guys.
[19:44] Haruaki
    So that's why you kept
    saying the wrong things!
[19:47] Yamazaki
    By the way, do you always do things
    like you did back at the stairs there?
[19:52] Haruaki
    Huh?
[19:52] (Flashback) Haruaki
    A black sailor uniform!
[19:55] Haruaki
    I-I just like uniforms...
[19:57] Yamazaki
    Uniforms?
[19:59] Yamazaki
    I'm just gonna keep a cell open
    for you at all times just in case.
[20:03] Haruaki
    What?!
[20:05] Sano
    Guess you get your own private cell now!
[20:09] Haruaki
    Eee! Sano-kun smiled at me!
[20:13] Sano
    What? I'm not smiling. That's an illusion.
[20:15] Haruaki
    Huh? It was?
[20:23] Tamao
    Ren-Ren! Wake up!
[20:26] Nyuudou
    What, Tama? You done going to the bathroom?
[20:29] Tamao
    Yeah, it's all over now.
[20:33] Nyuudou
    Wh-What?! Also, where the hell am I?!
[20:33] Tamao
    Ren-Ren!
[20:40] Hatanaka
    Hey, good job. You worked
    really hard out there.
[20:43] Haruaki
    Yup!
[20:46] Haruaki
    This isn't a night parade
    of a hundred demons...
[20:48] Haruaki
    It's a morning parade of a hundred demons!
[20:50] Haruaki
    Huh? I don't see the lovely
    girl in the uniform.
[20:54] Miki
    Huh? Girl in the uniform?
[20:56] Haruaki
    The girl with the bowl
    cut and sailor uniform.
[20:59] Hatanaka
    I don't know anyone like that.
[21:00] Haruaki
    Huh? B-But I saw her by the
    stairs... Sh-She was there,right?
[21:04] Haruaki
    Right, Sano-kun? Right?
[21:06] Sano
    Huh?
[21:06] Haruaki
    You know! The girl in the
    sailor uniform by the stairs!
[21:08] Haruaki
    You were surprised, too!
[21:10] Sano
    The one by the stairs, right?
[21:12] Sano
    The one who attacked me is a hand
    youkai called a kainade, I think.
[21:15] Seimei
    No! I mean, there were a lot of hands, but...
[21:18] Sano
    Huh? You mean when you were
    talking to the wall by yourself?
[21:22] Haruaki
    By myself?!
[21:24] Haruaki
    N-No! There was a girl in a black
    sailor uniform! There really was!
[21:26] Tamao
    Actually, Seimei, when
    I was in the bathroom...
[21:30] Tamao
    It's not like I saw anything, but I heard
    a bunch of footsteps coming toward me.
[21:36] Tamao
    After that, I asked about the test because
    I thought it was an alumnus, and...
[21:40] Tamao
    I realized... if they were an alumnus,
    why didn't they try to catch me then?
[21:46] Hatanaka
    A ghost, huh?
[21:49] Hatanaka
    Honestly, I'm more scared of Abe-sensei
[21:51] Hatanaka
    shaking so fast that
    he's leaving afterimages...
[21:55] Haruaki
    No! Let's get out of here
    already, Hatanaka-sensei!
[21:58] Haruaki
    And let's sleep in the same bed today!
[22:01] Hatanaka
    By the way, Abe-sensei... We have
    school camp for three more classes.
[22:06] Haruaki
    No more, please!

Season 1

11 - Parent-Teacher Conference from Hell!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Class 2-3
[00:04] Tamao
    Seimei, you seem pretty exhausted.
[00:07] Haruaki
    Yeah. These home visits have been
    rougher than I thought they'd be.
[00:12] Haruaki
    Like having Renjou-san's
    mom almost eat me...
[00:17] Haruaki
    Having Maeda-kun's pet
    Pochi almost eat me...
[00:21] Haruaki
    Having Oota-kun's little
    sister almost eat me...
[00:27] Haruaki
    Let's see... Today, I'm visiting...
[00:32] Mandragora
    Yay!
[00:34] Haruaki
    Sano-kun!
[00:38] Sano
    Don't latch on to me! It's gross!
[00:39] Haruaki
    Please, Sano-kun!
[00:42] Haruaki
    Come with me when I do
    Maizuka-kun's home visit!
[00:46] Sano
    Huh?
[00:46] Mamekichi
    What?
[00:48] Mandragora
    Pwease excuse me.
[00:50] Mamekichi
    Yay, I'm so happy! Let's all
    do a home visit together!
[00:56] Mamekichi
    Here it is!
[00:57] Haruaki
    This is your home, Maizuka-kun?!
[01:00] Haruaki
    It's a huge mansion!
[01:02] Mamekichi
    My family's pretty huge. Our home's
    being remodeled all the time.
[01:07] Mamekichi
    So it's not like we're a prestigious
    family or anything. Don't worry!
[01:13] Crew
    Welcome home, Young Master!
[01:16] Haruaki and Sano
    Huh?
[01:18] Haruaki
    Th-This is bad, Sano-kun!
[01:20] Haruaki
    I'm pretty certain these people
    aren't related to him by blood!
[01:24] Sano
    Oh, come on. They're just a really
    unique kind of big family.
SIGN    Shikoku Tanuki Alliance
    Ponpokopon-gumi
SIGN    Shikoku Tanuki Alliance
    Ponpokopon-gumi
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
[03:09] Mamekichi
    What's wrong?
SIGN    Episode 11
    "Parent-Teacher
    Conference from Hell!"
[03:11] Haruaki
    E-Er, it's nothing,
    Maizuka-ku... Maizuka-sama!
[03:16] Mamekichi
    Huh? You're suddenly acting like my servant.
[03:20] Mameta
    Hey, is that hot guy the pervy
    teacher you keep talking about?
[03:23] Mameyo
    You dummy! The actually hot one
    is the one named Sano-kun.
[03:27] Mameo
    Huh? Mame-nii's best friend and teacher?
[03:29] Mameko
    Which one is the pervy teacher?
[03:31] Haruaki
    Whoa! An army of Maizuka-kuns!
[03:34] Mamekichi
    I have over 30 little brothers and sisters.
[03:38] Small Old Man
    Tanukis can have up to ten
    offspring during one pregnancy.
[03:43] Mamekichi
    I'm the oldest, and I was born solo,
    so I don't have any siblings my age.
[03:48] Mameta
    So, yeah. Nice to meet you both.
[03:50] Mameta
    I'm the 14th son, Mameta.
[03:52] Mameyo
    I'm the 14th daughter, Mameyo.
[03:54] Mameo
    I'm the 8th son, Mameo.
[03:56] Mameko
    I'm the 7th daughter, Mameko.
[03:58] Mamesuke
    I'm the 11th son, Mamesuke.
[04:00] Beans
    I'm Beans! I'm the baby!
[04:02] Haruaki
    Beans?!
[04:03] Siblings
    It's nice to meet you,
    Seimei-kun! Sano-kun!
[04:07] Haruaki
    Nice to meet you, Mamemi, Mamesaku,
    Mamedaifuku, and Beans.
[04:11] Mamekichi
    Uh, you got everyone
    other than Beans wrong.
[04:14] Beans
    Anyway, hurry up and come in, you two.
[04:18] Beans
    Hey, Maibara. Hurry up and
    welcome in our guests.
[04:22] Beans
    The hell you doin' just standin' there, huh?
[04:24] Maibara
    Right away!
[04:25] Mamekichi
    Beans is the roughest of the siblings
    and one of the candidates
[04:28] Mamekichi
    to take over the family,
    despite being only three.
[04:31] Mamekichi
    Well, let's go in. My parents are waiting, too.
[04:35] Haruaki and Sano
    I don't wanna go in.
[04:37] Tanuki
    Ponpokopon.
SIGN    The Way
    of the Tanuki
[04:51] Mame Papa
    So you must be the Abe-sensei
    I keep hearing about.
[04:54] Haruaki
    Y-Yes. I'm Haruaki Abe.
SIGN    The Way
    of the Tanuki
[04:58] Mame Papa
    Can a human like yourself truly teach
    my son and the other youkai?
[05:04] Mamekichi
    Don't say it like that, Dad!
[05:07] Mamekichi
    If you treat Seimei-kun like a human,
    it's rude to the other humans!
[05:12] Haruaki
    Yeah, you're right. Though
    that line was still rude to me.
[05:17] Mame Papa
    Mamekichi...
SIGN    Helplessly
    Doting Father
SIGN    Doting Father
SIGN    Doting Father
SIGN    Doting Father
[05:19] Mame Papa
    I'm sorry! That was really wrong of me!
[05:23] Mame Mama
    Dear, how many times must I tell you not
    to be a doting father in front of guests?
SIGN    Doting Father
[05:28] Mame Papa
    I was out of line, Abe-sensei.
[05:31] Mame Papa
    But since you're a new teacher and a human,
[05:34] Mame Papa
    can you help Mamekichi—no,
    all the students when they're in trouble?
[05:39] Mame Papa
    I'm concerned as a parent.
[05:43] Mame Papa
    So I'd like to test you to see if you're
    worthy of being Mamekichi's teacher or not.
[05:48] Haruaki
    Test me?!
[05:50] Mamekichi
    I forgot!
[05:51] Mamekichi
    My dad tests how powerful the teachers
    are each year during these home visits.
[05:57] Haruaki
    How could you forget that?!
[05:58] Sano
    Test?
[06:01] Sano
    How'd he do it last year, then?
[06:03] Mamekichi
    Huh? Come to think of it,
    Miki-sensei, my teacher last year,
[06:07] Mamekichi
    was the only one to
    leave without a problem.
[06:09] Haruaki
    Wait, why?
[06:11] Beans
    Meisei-kun.
[06:13] Beans
    Beans knows.
[06:15] Haruaki
    It's Seimei. I mean, it's really Haruaki, but...
[06:18] Beans
    You know what?
[06:20] Beans
    Whisper, whisper.
[06:23] Mame Papa
    Okay, let's get started.
[06:26] Mame Papa
    In order to show me just how powerful
    and manly you are as a teacher,
[06:30] Mame Papa
    I will have you fight me.
[06:32] Haruaki
    Why, though?!
[06:34] Haruaki
    No!
[06:35] Mame Papa
    Hold it! Don't run away!
[06:37] Haruaki
    Of course I'm running away! I'm not
    the protag of some battle manga!
[06:43] Sano
    This is bad.
[06:45] Sano
    There's no way Seimei has enough
    guts to fight such a dangerous dad.
[06:50] Haruaki
    Save me, Sano-kun!
[06:52] Mame Papa
    You're asking your student for help?
    And you call yourself a teacher?!
[06:55] Haruaki
    That's a valid point!
[07:01] Mame Papa
    What's the matter? Are you done running?
[07:06] Sano
    His power to exorcise demons!
[07:08] Sano
    If Seimei uses that, he might
    be able to beat Mame's dad.
[07:11] Sano
    But exposing that power would be...
[07:15] Haruaki
    Not good!
[07:17] Haruaki
    If they find out about my
    demon-exorcising power now,
[07:20] Haruaki
    they'll be even more opposed
    to me being their teacher!
[07:24] Sano
    He's crazy.
[07:26] Sano
    He forcibly held back his exorcising power!
[07:28] Mame Papa
    I'm not sure what happened,
    but it looks like this is the end.
[07:32] Haruaki
    Even if I don't use my power
    to exorcise demons...
[07:35] Mame Papa
    You are not worthy of being Mamekichi's—
[07:37] Mame Papa
    Wh-Why did you let Miki-sensei
    go so quickly last year?
[07:42] Mame Papa
    Th-That's because...
[07:47] Haruaki
    Miki-sensei's family owns an establishment
    in the red-light district...
[07:51] Haruaki
    and I hear you have a favorite there.
[07:56] Mame Papa
    Are you threatening me?
[07:59] Haruaki
    I could call...
[08:01] Haruaki
    your wife here.
[08:04] Haruaki
    All right. Go, me! I'll just
    keep coming on strong.
[08:08] Haruaki
    But I might pee myself.
[08:11] Mame Papa
    How dare you...
[08:12] Haruaki
    Ma'am! Have I got news for you!
[08:15] Mame Papa
    Stop that!
[08:17] Mame Papa
    You want me to acknowledge you so badly
    that you'd threaten me, you unmanly coward?!
[08:22] Haruaki
    I'm fine with being a coward!
[08:23] Haruaki
    If I get to be Maizuka-kun's teacher,
[08:26] Haruaki
    I'll happily do sleazy, scummy things
    that aren't protag-like at all!
[08:30] Haruaki
    That's my kind of manliness!
[08:34] Haruaki
    I will use underhanded tricks
    in order to protect my students,
[08:38] Haruaki
    so please acknowledge that
    I'm Maizuka-kun's teacher!
[08:45] Mame Papa
    If something happens to Mamekichi,
[08:48] Mame Papa
    you'll be swimming with the
    fishes in the Naruto Strait.
[08:57] Mame Papa
    Take good care of Mamekichi, Abe-sensei.
[09:03] Beans
    Wow, that guy actually forced
    him to acknowledge him.
[09:06] Beans
    He's such a weird teacher.
[09:08] Mamekichi
    Yeah, isn't my teacher weird?
[09:12] Mame Mama
    I guess it's over. And?
[09:16] Mame Mama
    When did you go to the
    red-light district, dear?
[09:24] Mame Papa
    I'm sorry.
[09:28] Mamekichi
    Aw...
[09:31] Small Old Man
    This is Mame Papa back in his tanuki form.
[09:34] Mame Mama
    Abe-sensei.
[09:37] Mame Mama
    I'm quite impressed.
[09:38] Mame Mama
    You managed to make my husband
    yield without using youkai magic.
[09:42] Mame Mama
    We look forward to having Mamekichi and
    the rest of our family in your care.
[09:46] Beans
    I'm impressed. I figured you wouldn't
    make it out of this place alive.
[09:51] Haruaki
    You predicted my death?!
[09:53] Beans
    Yup.
[09:54] Haruaki
    But you saved me by telling
    me those things, Beans-kun.
[09:59] Haruaki
    Thanks.
[10:02] Beans
    Well, you worked hard, so I'll
    give you a reward, Meisei-kun.
[10:07] Haruaki
    What? But I can't accept any money...
[10:10] Beans
    I ain't giving you money.
[10:12] Beans
    Come closer.
[10:16] Beans
    Smooch!
[10:23] Beans
    Meisei-kun, I'll let you be
    my husband in the future.
[10:27] Mamekichi
    Eek! Beans, you're so naughty!
[10:31] Sano
    Beans is a girl?
[10:34] Mame Papa
    Y-You little...
[10:37] Haruaki
    Uh, I mean, this was out of my control!
[10:39] Mame Papa
    Don't think you're getting out of here alive
    after stealing my daughter's first kiss!
[10:44] Haruaki
    Please don't say it like that!
    That was my first kiss, too!
[10:47] Mame Papa
    I will not allow this courtship!
[10:49] Haruaki
    There is no courtship!
[10:51] Mame Papa
    What?! So you're going to dump my daughter?!
[10:54] Haruaki
    What exactly do you want me to do here?!
[10:55] Mame papa
    I will now test you to see if you're
    worthy of becoming her husband!
[11:00] Mame Papa
    Stop!
[11:02] Haruaki
    I'm done with these home visits!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[11:15] Haruaki
    After the home visits were over,
    I left the Maizuka home in Shikoku
[11:19] Haruaki
    and went to Kyoto to meet
    up with the teachers
[11:22] Haruaki
    to have a look around for
    an upcoming school trip.
[11:25] Haruaki
    Wow, Kyoto's great!
[11:27] Haruaki
    So many uniforms out here sightseeing!
[11:30] Hatanaka
    What exactly did you come here to look at?
SIGN    Cochin
[11:32] Haruaki
    Huh? Where'd Nezumi-sensei go?
[11:35] Hatanaka
    It'd be bad if the humans saw him
    running around and talking, so...
[11:39] Hatanaka
    He's right here.
[11:40] Haruaki
    He'd disguised as a keychain! That's amazing!
[11:44] Miki
    That's not enough.
[11:45] Miki
    If you're committed, you
    should add stitches, Izuna-kun.
[11:49] Hatanaka
    Er, Rintarou...
[11:51] Hatanaka
    How are you so bad at that?
[11:54] Haruaki
    It's rare for you two to be calling
    each other by your first names.
SIGN    Cochin
[11:58] Nezumi
    They've been friends forever,
[12:00] Nezumi
    so they ended up on a first-name basis.
[12:02] Hatanaka
    Though we do use our last names at school.
[12:07] Haruaki
    Um, I...
[12:09] Hatanaka
    What? Need the bathroom?
[12:10] Haruaki
    No!
[12:12] Haruaki
    Er, um...
[12:13] Haruaki
    Actually, yeah, I might pee my pants.
[12:15] Miki
    You didn't realize you had to go?!
[12:17] Haruaki
    I-I'm gonna pee my pants!
    My pants! I'm gonna pee my pants!
[12:19] Hatanaka
    And you call yourself an adult?
[12:21] Hatanaka
    Hurry up and find a bathroom!
[12:23] Haruaki
    I-I'll be back!
[12:25] Hatanaka
    What, Rintarou?
[12:27] Miki
    I just remembered the little lost
    boy we met on our school trip.
[12:31] Hatanaka
    Ah...
[12:32] Hatanaka
    I guess there was someone like that.
SIGN    9 Years
    Earlier
SIGN    Izuna Hatanaka
    (17 Years Old)
[12:46] Hatanaka
    All right. Looks like we
    managed to escape.
SIGN    Rintarou Miki
    (16 Years Old)
[12:50] Miki
    Now it's time to go play, Izuna-kun.
[12:53] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    That honestly went a little too well.
[12:56] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    The plan to have a bird
    go after Nezumi-sensei.
[12:59] (Flashback) Miki
    Yeah...
[13:00] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    But who has the time to look at
    temples all day with a group?
[13:03] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    We're youkai!
[13:05] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    I feel like... we'd get slayed.
[13:07] (Flashback) Miki
    I mean, I get what you're saying, but...
SIGN    Field Trip Guidebook
    Hiroshima
SIGN    Field Trip Guidebook
    Hiroshima
SIGN    Field Trip Guidebook
    Hiroshima
SIGN    Field Trip Guidebook
    Hiroshima
SIGN    Field Trip Guidebook
    Hiroshima
SIGN    Field Trip Guidebook
    Hiroshima
SIGN    Field Trip Guidebook
    Hiroshima
SIGN    Field Trip Guidebook
    Hiroshima
SIGN    Field Trip Guidebook
    Hiroshima
[13:10] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Ow! Watch where you're going!
[13:18] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I'll give you money! Please don't kill me!
[13:21] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Don't make me sound like a mugger!
[13:26] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    Onii-chan! Where'd you go?
[13:30] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Hey, shrimp.
[13:33] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Are you lost? Well, answer me!
[13:36] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    A blonde delinquent! I'm gonna get killed!
[13:39] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    I'm scared! He's gonna eat me!
[13:41] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    I am not! What kind of prejudice is that?!
[13:45] (Flashback) Miki
    That's... youkai magic...
[13:48] (Flashback) Hatanaka; Miki; Haruaki
    Ow!
[13:52] (Flashback) Miki
    Hey, you. Could you talk to this kid instead?
[13:56] (Flashback) Haruaki
    M-Me?!
[13:57] (Flashback) Miki
    Yeah. Just say things like,
    "Don't worry, we won't eat you,"
[14:00] (Flashback) Miki
    and calm him down.
[14:04] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Hey.
[14:06] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Don't worry, we won't eat you.
    Come on out here.
[14:15] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Can you tell me your name?
[14:16] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    It's Mii-kun...
[14:18] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    This is Mametarou.
[14:20] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Did you get separated from your family?
[14:22] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    Yeah... My big brother...
[14:25] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    Onii-chan!
[14:27] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Don't cry!
[14:28] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I'm lost, too, so we can be
    lost together! Calm down.
[14:31] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    How can he?!
[14:32] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    Where did you go?
[14:34] (Flashback) Miki
    Izuna-kun, I don't think he's...
[14:37] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Yeah, he's not human.
[14:42] (Flashback) Miki
    Man, what the hell? Now we wanna cry, too.
[14:46] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Seriously.
[14:47] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I know! I'll buy you ice
    cream if you stop crying.
SIGN    Super-Stretchy
    Turkish Ice Cream
[14:55] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I see.
[14:56] (Flashback) Haruaki
    So you came here because your brother
    had something to do at school?
[15:00] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    Yup.
[15:01] (Flashback) Miki
    Also... you're lost, too?
[15:04] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Y-Yeah... I was here on a field trip,
[15:07] (Flashback) Haruaki
    but I was looking at all the different
    uniforms and... kind of wandered off.
[15:10] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Could you tell me where Nagoya Station is?
[15:13] (Flashback) Miki
    Nagoya Station? You're in Kyoto.
[15:15] (Flashback) Haruaki
    What?!
[15:16] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    How are you so lost?
[15:18] (Flashback) Haruaki
    No way...
SIGN    Field Trip Guidebook
    Hiroshima Tourism
[15:21] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    You're not even going to Nagoya!
[15:24] (Flashback) Miki
    What's the matter? You're all fidgety.
[15:27] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Well... I need to go to the bathroom,
    but I haven't been able to find one...
[15:31] (Flashback) Haruaki
    And I'm about to pee my pants.
[15:33] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Huh?! What the hell is your problem, Nagoya?!
[15:36] (Flashback) Miki
    Look over there.
[15:38] (Flashback) Miki
    There's a bathroom. Run on over, Nagoya-kun.
[15:41] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I can't. I'm gonna die if I move another step.
[15:44] (Flashback) Miki
    You're more trouble than the literal kid here!
[15:48] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    I have to potty, too.
[15:50] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    Mametarou, you stay here.
[15:52] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Much better.
[15:54] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Man... This is some student trip.
[15:57] (Flashback) Miki
    Izuna-kun, you sure you don't
    have a yakubyougami stuck to you?
[16:03] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Huh? That plushie...
[16:06] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Hey. What happened to your friend?
[16:09] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    He was waiting on the bench...
[16:11] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    Mametarou's gone!
[16:12] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I knew it! That was the plushie!
[16:14] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    I guess the garbage-collecting
    crew took it by mistake.
[16:18] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    Mametarou...
[16:21] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    We're not gonna make it in time.
[16:22] (Flashback) Haruaki
    We still have time!
[16:23] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Come back here, you truck!
[16:27] (Flashback) Miki
    He's so fast!
[16:29] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Not bad, Nagoya.
[16:32] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Hop on, Rintarou.
[16:35] (Flashback) Miki
    You wait there, Mii-kun.
[16:38] (Flashback) Police
    Thief! Someone!
[16:40] (Flashback) Miki
    We've got some nerve riding double
    on a bike in front of a cop.
[16:43] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    This isn't riding double!
[16:44] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    I'm an itachi, so it's technically
    one person and one critter.
[16:47] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Which means we're in the clear.
[16:48] (Flashback) Small Old Man
    This is dangerous for humans,
    so don't ever try it.
[16:52] (Flashback) Mametarou
    Mame.
[16:55] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    We caught up with him!
[16:57] (Flashback) Miki
    Izuna-kun, look!
[16:59] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Rintarou! Drop our teacher
    into the truck bed!
[17:02] (Flashback) Miki
    Got it!
[17:07] (Flashback) Nezumi
    Ow, ow, ow, ow!
[17:08] (Flashback) Miki
    Nezumi-sensei!
[17:10] (Flashback) Miki
    Could you throw me that tanuki
    plushie that's at your feet?
[17:14] (Flashback) Nezumi
    Huh? This?
[17:15] (Flashback) Nezumi
    Here you go.
[17:16] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Ah, Mametarou!
[17:17] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Gotcha!
[17:21] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Thank goodness! It fell down.
[17:24] (Flashback) Nezumi
    Hey! No riding double on bicycles!
[17:27] (Flashback) Nezumi
    Then again, I guess Izuna-kun counts
    as a critter, so maybe it's okay.
[17:31] (Flashback) Mandragora
    See you later.
[17:34] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Isn't this great?
[17:36] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    Yeah!
[17:37] (Flashback) Isaburou
    Mii-kun!
[17:40] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    Onii-chan!
[17:41] (Flashback) Isaburou
    I finally found you! I've been so worried!
[17:46] (Flashback) Isaburou
    Did these people help you?
[17:49] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Oh, I wouldn't go that far.
[17:51] (Flashback) Isaburou
    Thank you. Please allow
    me to thank you somehow...
[17:54] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Oh, no!
[17:55] (Flashback) Miki
    If he insists, we should
    take him up on his offer.
[17:58] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Exactly.
[17:59] (Flashback) Haruaki
    W-We really shouldn't.
[18:01] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    I know! Here, you can have this.
SIGN    Talisman of
    Protection
SIGN    Talisman of
    Protection
SIGN    Talisman of
    Protection
SIGN    Talisman of
    Protection
SIGN    Talisman of
    Protection
SIGN    Talisman of
    Protection
[18:03] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Wow, a talisman!
[18:05] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Are you sure?
[18:07] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    Yup. But I only have one,
    so you'll have to split it into three.
[18:11] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I'm not sure if the gods will like that.
[18:13] (Flashback) Mii-kun
    It's fine.
[18:16] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Okay, we'll take it.
[18:18] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Thanks.
[18:21] (Flashback) Isaburou
    Well, we'll be going now.
[18:23] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Don't let your brother wander off again!
[18:25] (Flashback) Isaburou
    Yes, I'll be more careful now.
[18:28] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Bye-bye!
[18:28] Miki
    Be careful!
[18:30] Isaburou
    Tch. You unsightly youkai.
SIGN    Talisman of
    Protection
[18:35] (Flashback) Haruaki
    So how are we going to split up
    the talisman Mii-kun gave us?
[18:39] (Flashback) Miki
    Don't worry about it. You keep it.
[18:41] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    You seem to need it the most.
[18:43] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Yay! Okay, I'll take it.
[18:45] (Flashback) Miki
    Well, we got the lost kid safely
    back to his family, so let's go play.
[18:50] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Er, but I'm lost, too...
[18:52] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Who cares, Nagoya?
[18:54] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Why don't we all go hang out...
[18:56] (Flashback) Principal
    That's enough.
[18:58] (Flashback) Hatanaka and Miki
    P-Principal!
[19:00] (Flashback) Principal
    This ends your free time.
[19:02] (Flashback) Principal
    I've been watching from the shadows,
[19:04] (Flashback) Principal
    and you've done many things
    that just cross the line.
[19:07] (Flashback) Principal
    And...
[19:08] (Flashback) Principal
    You there.
[19:10] (Flashback) Principal
    Someone who looks just like you
    was screaming something
[19:13] (Flashback) Principal
    from Kyoto Tower earlier.
[19:14] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Huh?
[19:15] (Flashback) Haruaki
    That must be my brother!
[19:15] Ameaki
    Haru! Where are you?!
[19:17] (Flashback) Haruaki
    He must've tracked me here by GPS.
[19:18] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I need to go find him!
[19:21] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Thanks for everything, guys!
[19:23] (Flashback) Principal
    No problem at all. Maybe
    we'll meet again somewhere.
[19:33] (Flashback) Principal
    Now, then...
[19:35] (Flashback) Principal
    I guess I'll stick you two in a temple
    and have your worldly desires erased.
[19:40] (Flashback) Hatakana and Miki
    No! Please, no!
[19:45] Miki
    I wonder where Nagoya-kun is now.
[19:48] Hatanaka
    I don't even remember what
    he looks like anymore.
[19:51] Haruaki
    Sorry to keep you waiting!
[19:53] Haruaki
    Whew, I feel better.
[19:55] Haruaki
    You two seemed to be having
    a fun conversation.
[19:57] Hatanaka
    We were just chatting about the past.
[20:01] Nezumi
    I've been wondering...
[20:04] Nezumi
    Are you doing okay, Abe-sensei?
[20:06] Haruaki
    Huh?
[20:07] Nezumi
    Is something on your mind?
[20:10] Haruaki
    No, not really...
[20:12] Haruaki
    I was just a little jealous
    of the relationship
[20:16] Haruaki
    between Miki-sensei and Hatanaka-sensei.
[20:21] Haruaki
    I reached adulthood without ever
    having made any friendships like that.
[20:27] Haruaki
    But...
[20:28] Haruaki
    I couldn't help but wonder...
    If I had worked harder,
[20:31] Haruaki
    would I have memories to reminisce
    about with someone else like that?
[20:34] Haruaki
    I guess I'm having regrets.
[20:39] Hatanaka
    Jeez... That's what you're worried about?
[20:42] Haruaki
    I-I'm sorry. I guess I was
    just being sentimental.
[20:47] Haruaki
    Forget I said anything.
[20:48] Hatanaka
    Hey, Haruaki.
[20:51] Hatanaka
    What? Are we not good
    enough to be your friends?
[20:54] Miki
    We may have gone to different schools,
[20:56] Miki
    but we're the same age,
    and we graduated the same year.
[20:59] Miki
    Right, Haruaki-kun?
[21:01] Nezumi
    Yup.
[21:02] Nezumi
    Compared to Sano-kun and the
    others, they're not cute at all,
[21:05] Nezumi
    but you can settle for these two.
[21:07] Hatanaka
    Just so you know, we're co-workers
    in front of the students.
[21:12] Hatanaka
    No fraternization allowed!
[21:14] Haruaki
    Right!
[21:15] Haruaki
    I-I'm happy to keep working with you...
[21:18] Haruaki
    Izuna-kun!
[21:21] Haruaki
    Rintarou-kun!
SIGN    Mamekichi Maizuka
SIGN    Mikoto Sano
[21:26] Mamekichi
    Seimei-kun should be in
    Kyoto right about now.
[21:29] Mamekichi
    I wonder what kind of gifts
    he'll get us. I can't wait.
[21:33] Sano
    Kyoto...
[21:36] Sano
    I went there just once.
    Someone I knew took me there.
[21:41] Sano
    I ended up getting lost,
[21:43] Sano
    and I remember some really
    weird adults helping me out.
[21:48] Hijita
    It's rare for you to talk
    about your past like that.
[21:51] Hijita
    Tell us more.
[21:52] Sano
    Huh?
[21:54] Sano
    Uh... well...
[22:02] Sano
    Nah.
SIGN    Talisman of
    Protection
[22:04] Sano
    Anything more is gonna cost you.
[22:07] Hijita
    You're gonna charge us money?

Season 1

12 - The Great Tokyo Haruaki Search!!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Small Old Man
    Summer vacation was fast approaching
    for Class 2-3 at Hyakki Academy.
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
[00:06] Small Old Man
    Today, we're not actually at the school,
    but in Tokyo for a field trip!
[00:22] Odawara
    Man, why isn't Kaminarimon on our itinerary?
SIGN    Fire
[00:26] Sano
    Why are we going on a field trip
    this time of year, anyway?
SIGN    Tokyo Guide
[00:29] Nyuudou
    We're almost at the next stop.
SIGN    Tokyo Guide
SIGN    Tokyo Guide
SIGN    Tokyo Guide
SIGN    Tokyo Guide
SIGN    Tokyo Guide
SIGN    Tokyo Guide
SIGN    Tokyo Guide
SIGN    Tokyo Guide
SIGN    Tokyo Guide
SIGN    Tokyo Guide
SIGN    Tokyo Guide
SIGN    Tokyo Guide
[00:32] Kuniko
    Make sure you don't forget anything.
[00:34] Mamekichi
    Wait, I can't find it! Where'd it go?
[00:38] Sano
    What's wrong, Mame? Did you drop something?
[00:40] Mamekichi
    Yeah.
[00:41] Mamekichi
    I think I dropped Seimei-kun somewhere.
[00:44] Sano
    I see.
[00:46] Sano
    Well, good thing it's not any
    of your personal belongings.
[00:48] Nyuudou
    No, it's not!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified
    Teacher at
    Ghoul School!
[02:23] Sano
    So, explain how you ended up there
    and what's going on right now.
SIGN    Episode 12
    "The Great Tokyo
    Haruaki Search!!"
[02:29] Haruaki
    Well, you see...
SIGN    Subway
[02:31] Haruaki
    Right as I was about to get on the bus,
    I got washed away by a wave of salarymen.
[02:31] Salarymen
    Tumbling down, tumbling down.
[02:33] Haruaki
    Oh, no!
[02:36] Haruaki
    I'm currently on the subway.
[02:38] Haruaki
    I'll just have to take the Marunote Line
    to meet you guys at the next stop.
[02:38] Salarymen
    Tumbling down, tumbling down.
[02:42] Sano
    You dummy!
[02:43] Sano
    With your sense of direction, the subway
    is the last place you should be!
[02:46] Salaryman 1
    By the way, this is the Yamanouchi
    Line, not the Marunote Line.
[02:50] Haruaki
    The Yamanouchi Line?!
    What's that? Where am I?
[02:53] Sano
    And you're already lost!
[02:56] Sano
    Anyway, it doesn't matter where,
    just get above ground and—
[02:59] Sano
    Hey, hello?
[03:01] Salarymen
    Tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down.
[03:01] Haruaki
    Huh? Sano-kun?
[03:03] Haruaki
    My battery's dead!
[03:05] Haruaki
    He said it didn't matter
    where, but where is that?
SIGN    No Charge
SIGN    No Charge
SIGN    No Charge
SIGN    No Charge
[03:08] Salarymen
    Tumbling down, tumbling down.
[03:10] Hatanaka
    So you ended up losing contact with him.
[03:14] Nyuudou
    Our teacher is actually lost...
[03:16] Nyuudou
    Damn it. I guess Class 2-3
    is gonna have to find him.
[03:19] Kuniko
    Please go to Meuniere Saitou's special
    lecture with the other classes as planned.
[03:24] Kuniko
    Haruaki-sensei might show up there.
[03:26] Hatanaka
    But we can't just leave you kids alone.
[03:29] Nezumi-sensei
    Then I'll step in and go with Class 3.
[03:33] Nezumi-sensei
    Could you watch over Class 4 for me?
[03:36] Nezumi-sensei
    This'll probably give me a better
    chance to go sightseeing in Tokyo
[03:39] Nezumi-sensei
    than going to some boring lecture.
[03:41] Hatanaka
    Well, it seems like Nezumi-sensei
    is going to take responsibility,
[03:44] Hatanaka
    no matter what happens.
[03:45] Nezumi-sensei
    What?!
[03:47] Hatanaka
    But make sure you contact me, too.
[03:50] Hatanaka
    You've got the Hyakki Academy
    off-campus rules memorized, right?
[03:53] Nyuudou
    Yes.
SIGN    Rule One
SIGN    Off-Campus
    Rules
SIGN    Rule Two
SIGN    Don't let
    humans
    see you
    use any
    youkai
    magic.
SIGN    Don't let
    humans
    find out
    you're a
    youkai.
SIGN    Rule Three
SIGN    If you
    aren't a
    humanoid
    youkai,
    you must
    wear a
    disguise
    or conceal
    yourself.
[03:55] Hatanaka
    One, don't let humans see
    you use any youkai magic.
SIGN    Rule One
SIGN    Local Mascot
[03:59] Hatanaka
    Two, don't let humans
    find out you're a youkai.
[04:03] Hatanaka
    Three, if you aren't a humanoid youkai,
    you must wear a disguise or conceal yourself.
SIGN    Pennant
[04:08] Nyuudou
    We're going to follow these rules
    and split up to find Seimei.
[04:12] All
    Right!
SIGN    Right!
[04:13] Nezumi
    We're looking for this guy.
[04:17] Nezumi
    Make full use of the sewer rat network
[04:19] Nezumi
    and search every corner
    of the sewers of Tokyo.
SIGN    Yes, squeak!
[04:22] All
    Yes, squeak!
[04:23] Hijita
    I mean, I doubt he's
    actually in the sewers...
[04:26] Nezumi
    You never know.
[04:27] Nezumi
    He might've mistaken the
    sewers for the subway.
[04:31] Nezumi
    Hey! You over there!
[04:34] Nezumi
    No gnawing and destroying the water pipes!
[04:37] Nezumi
    We're right by a shopping district,
    and there's a ton of humans!
[04:41] Hijita
    Man, I wanna go shopping...
[04:43] Hijita
    Why do we have to search sewers
    after coming all the way to Tokyo?
[04:47] Hijita
    I wonder if the guys on the surface are
    managing to sneak in some sightseeing.
SIGN    Kaminarimon
[04:52] Mujina
    Hey, Tamao!
[04:54] Mujina
    If you breathe in that smoke, all the
    things that are wrong with you go away!
[04:58] Tamao
    What?!
[04:59] Mujina
    Now we'll finally be smart!
[05:02] Tamao
    Yeah! I can feel our IQs going up!
[05:05] Oota
    Your IQs aren't going up!
    They're actually going down!
SIGN    Promise the Small Old Man
SIGN    °Don't try this at home, kids!
[05:08] Small Old Man
    Don't try this at home, kids.
[05:10] Odawara
    Hey, what are you doing?
[05:12] Oota
    Oh, Odawara-ku—
[05:13] Odawara
    Quit messing around and
    look for Seimei-sensei.
SIGN    Asakusa
    Sword
SIGN    Asakusa
SIGN    Rickshaw
SIGN    Nigyou-yaki
SIGN    Kaminarimon
[05:17] Oota
    What's with your head?!
    It's different than usual!
SIGN    The Usual
SIGN    Fire
[05:19] Lady 1
    Um, are you a local mascot for Asakusa?
[05:22] Lady 2
    Would you take a picture with us?
[05:24] Odawara
    Oh, sure. Of course.
[05:27] Oota
    Say cheese!
[05:29] Mujina
    You're messing around more than anyone else!
[05:32] Odawara
    I'm glad I'm a lantern head.
    And I got to go to Asakusa!
[05:38] Nyuudou
    Damn it. What are Mujina and
    the rest of that group doing?
[05:41] Maeda
    Huh? Where's Mujina's group?
[05:43] Toubyou
    Well, his vision's 130.
[05:46] Toubyou
    Ain't no way we're gonna see them.
[05:48] Maeda
    It's a good idea to search from up high,
[05:50] Maeda
    but from here, people are just gonna look
    like beans to anyone but Nyuudou-kun.
[05:55] Yanagida
    By the way, Merman Maeda-kun,
    I guess you can get human legs.
[06:00] Maeda
    Yeah, sorta.
[06:02] Maeda
    But even if I can grow legs, I can't walk.
[06:05] Yanagida
    What? You should've told me that sooner.
SIGN    Wonder Drug
[06:08] Maeda
    Oh, I don't need any medicine.
[06:09] Yanagida
    What?! Really?!
[06:10] Nyuudou
    I wonder how everyone else is doing.
[06:12] Kuniko
    Hello, this is Utagawa
    calling from Akihabara.
[06:16] Kuniko
    Beniko-chan wandered off to buy video games.
[06:19] Nyuudou
    Right. You've got permission to punch her.
[06:21] Kuniko
    Roger!
SIGN    Shinjuku Station
[06:23] Sano
    No use over here, either.
[06:25] Sano
    We asked some station workers,
    but they haven't seen him.
[06:29] Sano
    It's gonna be hard searching for him
    in the subway with this crowd, too.
[06:34] Takahashi
    Oh? You're Abe-sensei's students.
[06:37] Mamekichi
    Huh? Takahashi-sensei?
[06:41] Mamekichi
    You have a twin?!
[06:45] Takahashi (Yamazaki)
    No, no, I'm the doppelganger police officer.
[06:49] Takahashi
    We're former classmates.
SIGN    Shinjuku Bus Terminal
[06:51] Takahashi (Yamazaki)
    Our former classmate runs
    a café behind the station,
[06:55] Takahashi (Yamazaki)
    so we go there every six months.
[06:58] Takahashi (Yamazaki)
    Wanna come with us?
[07:00] Takahashi (Yamazaki)
    It's a ghost café where real ghosts appear.
[07:03] Mamekichi
    Er, we've had our fill from the school camp.
[07:08] Sano
    Huh?
[07:09] Sano
    I'm getting an ominous feeling...
[07:16] Haruaki
    Sorry, I'm getting off!
[07:18] Announcement
    The doors are closing.
    Please hold on to your belongings.
[07:23] Announcement
    Do not rush onto the train.
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
[07:32] Haruaki
    I can't believe how hard it
    is just to get off the train.
[07:36] Haruaki
    Huh?
[07:37] Haruaki
    The talisman Mii-kun gave me is gone.
[07:40] Haruaki
    Did I leave it on the train?
[07:42] Haruaki
    Oh! There it is!
[07:44] Haruaki
    Thank goodness.
[07:50] Haruaki
    That startled me.
[07:52] Haruaki
    He looked like Sano-kun for a second.
[07:55] Ebisu
    This talisman...
[07:57] Haruaki
    Oh, thank you very much. That's mine!
[08:00] Haruaki
    It's a precious gift I received years ago.
[08:03] Ebisu
    Oh? I thought I had seen you before.
[08:07] Ebisu
    You're the human teacher
    at that youkai school.
[08:09] Haruaki
    Huh?
[08:10] Ebisu
    You were on TV before, weren't you?
[08:12] Ebisu
    You're all the rage at my work.
[08:13] Haruaki
    Wait, does that mean this person's a youkai?
[08:18] Haruaki
    Well, I didn't know I was that famous.
SIGN    Want me to
    sign your clothes?
SIGN    That's a
    funny joke
[08:22] Ebisu
    So what's a teacher at a
    youkai school doing here?
SIGN    Er, I'm
    not joking...
[08:26] Haruaki
    Oh, right!
[08:29] Haruaki
    Did you happen to see a bunch
    of youkai around here?
[08:32] Haruaki
    Like this.
[08:34] Ebisu
    Wait, could it be that you're lost?
    Even though you're the teacher?
[08:38] Haruaki
    I-I am... Where exactly in Tokyo am I?
[08:42] Ebisu
    Are you really a teacher?
[08:44] Ebisu
    Want me to help you find them?
[08:47] Haruaki
    Huh? But...
[08:49] Ebisu
    I get the feeling if I leave you alone,
    you'll never get out of Tokyo.
SIGN    Station
    Exit Guide
[08:54] Ebisu
    And...
[08:55] Ebisu
    It's my job to make humans happy.
[09:03] Ebisu
    I see.
[09:04] Ebisu
    So you started working there,
    not realizing it was a youkai school.
[09:09] Haruaki
    Yup. At first, I thought about
    running away once every hour.
[09:14] Ebisu
    By the way, did you get that talisman
    from one of your students?
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
[09:18] Haruaki
    Nope. I got it from a lost little boy
[09:23] Haruaki
    when I was in Kyoto on a school trip.
[09:27] Ebisu
    Kyoto? Lost little boy?
[09:30] Ebisu
    Oh, that's why!
[09:32] Haruaki
    Huh?
[09:32] Ebisu
    No, it's nothing.
[09:34] Ebisu
    That's a really good talisman.
[09:37] Ebisu
    It'll protect you from disasters.
[09:41] Ebisu
    Well, now that we're full,
[09:44] Ebisu
    how do you want to meet
    up with your students?
[09:47] Ebisu
    This would all go quicker
    if you had a phone.
[09:49] Haruaki
    Huh? I have one.
[09:50] Haruaki
    But the battery's dead, so it's useless.
[09:53] Ebisu
    Then why not just buy a charger
    from a convenience store?
[09:56] Haruaki
    Oh, yeah!
[09:56] Zashikiwarashi
    Ow!
SIGN    Flop
[10:01] Haruaki
    Whoa, I'm sorry! Are you okay?
[10:04] Haruaki
    You're not hurt, are you?
[10:08] Haruaki
    She's by herself. Is she lost like me?
[10:13] Ebisu
    Abe-sensei.
[10:15] Ebisu
    That's a zashikiwarashi.
[10:18] Ebisu
    It must be a youkai bound
    to this department store.
SIGN    Wow...
[10:21] Haruaki
    What?!
[10:24] Ebisu
    Abe-sensei, let's go.
[10:26] Ebisu
    We should leave this place immediately.
[10:30] Employee
    Thank you very much.
[10:33] Haruaki
    I was able to buy a charger!
[10:35] Ebisu
    That's great.
[10:35] Girl
    That's insane.
[10:37] Ebisu
    By the way, is there a black-haired
    boy named Mikoto in your class?
[10:39] Haruaki
    Uniforms!
[10:42] Ebisu
    Nobody taught you that you should
    listen when someone's talking?
[10:45] Haruaki
    Sorry!
[10:47] Haruaki
    Wait, this feels like déjà vu.
[10:51] Passerby1
    Hey, a fire truck.
[10:53] Passerby2
    I saw on social media that the department
    store just over there is on fire.
[10:58] Haruaki
    That little girl...
[11:08] Ebisu
    I knew it...
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[11:18] Haruaki
    That department store...
[11:21] Ebisu
    See? I told you we should leave immediately.
[11:24] Haruaki
    What do you mean?
[11:26] Ebisu
    That zashikiwarashi...
[11:28] Ebisu
    She knew this fire was going to happen.
[11:33] Haruaki
    That's right... A zashikiwarashi wearing
    red usually means misfortune is coming.
[11:38] Ebisu
    That youkai is bound to houses.
[11:40] Ebisu
    It brings fortune to the home it's bound
    to and it wears red when it leaves.
[11:46] Ebisu
    And the home it leaves will face
    one misfortune after another.
[11:50] Haruaki
    Are you saying she knew
    this was going to happen?
[11:53] Ebisu
    No. Since she's so young,
[11:56] Ebisu
    she might've subconsciously worn
    that when she sensed the misfortune.
[11:59] Mandragora-looking guy
    Sir! We got all the customers
    and employees out safely!
[12:04] Mandragora-looking captain
    Good! Now we just have to put out the fire.
[12:06] Haruaki
    Thank goodness...
SIGN    Keep Out
[12:11] Haruaki
    No... The zashikiwarashi's still inside!
[12:15] Ebisu
    Huh?
[12:17] Haruaki
    I've seen that spell before.
[12:19] Haruaki
    It's the same one Zashiki-san
    used to close her door.
[12:24] Haruaki
    That girl was still small,
[12:26] Haruaki
    so she might've panicked and accidentally
    cast the spell, trapping herself inside.
[12:31] Haruaki
    I can break the spell and save her.
[12:36] Ebisu
    You really shouldn't.
[12:38] Ebisu
    Right now, the only casualty
    will be one youkai.
[12:42] Ebisu
    If you go in there, you're just
    going to add to the body count.
[12:46] Ebisu
    You really want to bring
    misfortune upon yourself?
[12:49] Ebisu
    I mean, they live in a completely
    different world than you humans.
[12:54] Ebisu
    No one else would really
    even know they're gone.
[12:58] Haruaki
    You're right.
[12:59] Haruaki
    That's the excuse I had
    running through my head
[13:02] Haruaki
    when I first started this
    job so I could run away.
[13:04] ---
    Cold
[13:06] Haruaki
    But I don't plan on running away anymore!
SIGN    Spring Water
[13:10] Haruaki
    I can't pretend that she was never there.
[13:12] Haruaki
    She might be one of my students someday.
[13:17] Haruaki
    Now and forever, I'm going to guide youkai...
[13:22] Haruaki
    Because I'm a teacher at a youkai school!
[13:28] Ebisu
    I see. So that's the Haruaki Abe
    that Mii-kun keeps talking about.
[13:34] Ebisu
    I was wondering what he was like,
[13:36] Ebisu
    but apparently, he's just
    the typical pushover fool.
[13:40] Ebisu
    It makes me want to puke.
[13:46] Haruaki
    Thank goodness. The smoke's
    not that high up yet.
[13:50] Haruaki
    Now's my chance...
SIGN    Keep Out
[13:53] Haruaki
    There!
SIGN    Keep Out
[13:55] Haruaki
    Hey! Are you okay?
[13:57] Haruaki
    I guess she can't hear
    me because of the spell.
[14:01] Haruaki
    I need to do something about this.
[14:03] Haruaki
    I'll do what I did with
    Zashiki-san's... Disappear!
[14:08] Haruaki
    Ow... It worked!
[14:11] Haruaki
    Now I just gotta get this door open...
[14:14] Haruaki
    It won't open. Okay, fine. Here I go!
[14:17] Haruaki
    Hi-yah!
[14:20] Haruaki
    Oh, I knew you'd be in here!
[14:22] Haruaki
    Man, I guess I can do it if I try.
[14:24] Haruaki
    Getting stuck in the chalkboard
    all those times paid off.
[14:27] Haruaki
    Er, but now's not the time for that.
[14:29] Haruaki
    Put this over your mouth.
[14:31] Haruaki
    We need to get out before
    the smoke rises more.
[14:39] Haruaki
    A-An explosion?
[14:41] Haruaki
    Oh, no... The fire and smoke
    suddenly spread everywhere.
[14:44] Haruaki
    I know.
SIGN    Quick Charger
[14:46] Haruaki
    The charger I bought earlier...
[14:48] Mandragora
    There's an incident happening.
SIGN    Idiot
SIGN    Incoming Call
[14:52] Sano
    Hello, Seimei?!
[14:54] Sano
    What the hell are you—
[14:55] Haruaki
    S-Sano-kun!
[14:57] Haruaki
    I-I'm actually caught in
    a department store fire.
[15:00] Haruaki
    Or more like I got myself into it...
[15:02] Haruaki
    And now I can't get out.
[15:04] Sano
    What?!
[15:05] Sano
    How the hell did that happen?!
[15:07] Haruaki
    Yeah, it's all because I tried to act cool.
[15:10] Haruaki
    Can you get a hold of Ogata-kun?
SIGN    Idiot
[15:14] Rin
    I'm right here.
[15:15] Haruaki
    Oh, good!
SIGN    Idiot
[15:16] Haruaki
    Could you use your Raijin powers to cause a
    thunderstorm to calm the fire down just a bit?
[15:21] Rin
    Is the fire really that small?
[15:24] Sano
    Anyway, we'll head over,
    so tell us where you ar—
[15:34] Sano
    Seriously?
[15:35] Mamekichi
    Wh-What should we do?
[15:37] Mamekichi
    Seimei-kun's gonna die at this rate!
[15:39] Sano
    Damn it. First, we gotta
    find out where he is.
[15:46] Nyuudou
    Hello? What's up, Sano?
[15:49] Nyuudou
    Did you find Seimei?
SIGN    Blah, blah,
    yadda, yadda
[15:50] Sano
    Well, blah, blah, yadda, yadda...
[15:52] Nyuudou
    What?! What the hell is that idiot doing?!
[15:55] Sano
    Nyuudou, you'd be able
    to find the fire, right?
[15:59] Nyuudou
    Hmm... I can't tell him that we're
    not on the observation deck anymore
[16:02] Nyuudou
    and are actually eating at the terrace below.
[16:05] Nyuudou
    Give me a minute.
[16:07] Nyuudou
    Yanagida!
[16:08] Yanagida
    I know. It's time for my medicine.
[16:11] Toubyou
    It's really not.
[16:12] Nyuudou
    Actually, he's right.
[16:13] All
    Huh?!
[16:14] Nyuudou
    You can go wild as long as no one gets hurt.
[16:16] Nyuudou
    You have my permission.
[16:17] Nyuudou
    You, too, Toubyou.
[16:20] Yanagida
    Leave it to me!
[16:23] Yanagida
    It's easy as pie if you leave it to me!
[16:26] Toubyou
    This is what I'm supposed to do?!
[16:28] Toubyou
    Someone! Save m—
[16:30] Tourist
    Wow, that flower just ate him.
[16:32] Tourist 2
    What an amazing show.
[16:34] Nyuudou
    Okay, Maeda. Now, turn back into a merman.
[16:37] Maeda
    O-Okay...
[16:43] Nyuudou
    Get me up into the sky!
[16:45] Maeda
    Roger!
[16:46] Tourist child
    Fishy!
SIGN    Fishy!
[16:49] Nyuudou
    Now I can see all of Tokyo.
[16:52] Nyuudou
    Smoke!
[16:54] Nyuudou
    There it is!
[16:54] Maeda
    Sano! It's around Ginza!
[16:57] Maeda
    Huh? Be more specific? Um...
[16:59] Nyuudou
    Wait! I can see even more.
[17:04] Nyuudou
    I see it!
SIGN    Byakuya Department Store
[17:05] Nyuudou
    It's the Byakuya Department Store in Ginza!
[17:07] Nyuudou
    Maeda and I will head over there now—
[17:10] Cop
    Hey! I'm with the Youkai Aviation Guard!
[17:13] Cop
    You can't just randomly
    fly around like this!
[17:15] Maeda and Nyuudou
    W-We're sorry...
[17:17] Cop
    All right, it's lecture time!
[17:18] Cop
    This is the problem with
    young folks these da—
[17:21] Sano
    It's no use. We'll have to
    head to Ginza ourselves.
[17:24] Kou
    But it'll take twenty minutes
    to get to Ginza from Shinjuku!
[17:27] Rin
    I know! Mame, transform into a plane!
[17:30] Mamekichi
    Oh, yeah!
[17:31] Mamekichi
    Transform!
[17:33] Mamekichi
    A small airplane!
[17:36] Rin
    Isn't that a bit small?
[17:37] Mamekichi
    This is my limit if you
    consider the engine and fuel.
[17:41] Kou
    Damn it! If only Yanagida were around.
[17:43] Sano
    Calm down.
[17:43] Rin
    He's always around when
    you don't need him...
[17:44] Sano
    Stay calm and think, me.
[17:46] Sano
    Up until now, we managed to
    get through the sports day,
[17:50] Sano
    the kidnapping incident,
    and the school camp.
[17:53] Sano
    The school camp... That's it!
[17:55] Sano
    This way!
[17:57] Rin
    Where are you going?
[17:58] Sano
    Seimei... Don't you dare die!
[18:05] Haruaki
    I-I'm okay.
[18:06] Haruaki
    I-It just grazed me. It didn't actually hit me.
[18:09] Haruaki
    More importantly, Sano-ku—
[18:11] Haruaki
    My phone is literally dead!
[18:13] Haruaki
    Oh, no! I can't find the
    exit with all this smoke...
[18:16] Haruaki
    And Sano-kun can't get here...
[18:18] Haruaki
    I-I-I-Is there any other
    way I can contact him?
[18:23] Haruaki
    There's something in here?
[18:25] Haruaki
    This is...
[18:28] Boy (Mii-kun)
    This way.
[18:30] Haruaki
    Y-You're...
[18:33] Haruaki
    Are you going to help us?
[18:39] Haruaki
    I don't think this child is human.
[18:42] Haruaki
    And I think I've felt this hand before...
[18:46] Haruaki
    The stairs! We're saved!
[18:49] Haruaki
    If we go down here... Wait...
[18:51] Haruaki
    Huh? Up?
[18:57] Haruaki
    That was close... If we'd gone
    down, we would've died.
[19:02] Haruaki
    What's the matter?
[19:04] Boy (Mii-kun)
    This is as far as I can help you.
[19:07] Boy (Mii-kun)
    Thank you for taking such
    good care of me for so long.
[19:10] Haruaki
    Huh? Hey, wait...
[19:14] Haruaki
    A door? Are we supposed to go through here?
[19:18] Haruaki
    I guess I'll just trust that kid.
SIGN    Play Land
[19:26] Haruaki
    The roof...
[19:28] Haruaki
    I see. The smoke's not as dense... up here...
[19:34] Haruaki
    You go on ahead, Zashikiwarashi-san.
[19:38] Haruaki
    It's no use... I inhaled too much smoke.
[19:41] Haruaki
    Huh?
[19:42] Haruaki
    I'm holding something in my right hand...
SIGN    Talisman of Protection
[19:46] Haruaki
    I see. So that was you earlier.
[19:51] (Flashback) Ebisu
    That's a really good talisman.
[19:54] (Flashback) Ebisu
    It'll protect you from disasters.
[19:58] Haruaki
    Thanks, Mii-kun.
[20:02] Haruaki
    Mii-kun went to all
    that trouble to save me.
[20:06] Haruaki
    I need to do what I can to survive...
[20:11] Haruaki
    Rain?
[20:13] Haruaki
    Is this because of Mii-kun's talisman, too?
[20:18] Sano
    Seimei!
[20:21] Haruaki
    How did you know I was here?
[20:23] Sano
    That doesn't matter!
    We're getting out of here!
[20:28] Sano
    I see...
[20:30] Sano
    You went in to save this girl.
[20:33] Sano
    You idiot.
[20:34] Haruaki
    Yeah... I'm sorry I worried you.
[20:38] Yanagida
    All right, let's get out of here!
[20:42] Kou
    Yeah, rain is definitely not
    enough to put out that fire.
[20:45] Rin
    At this rate, it'll spread
    to the other buildings,
[20:48] Rin
    leading to more casualties.
[20:51] Mamekichi
    What's that sound?
[20:56] Rin
    Wh-What?
[20:58] Yanagida
    Did a water pipe burst underground?
[21:01] Mamekichi
    Underground? Could it be...
[21:04] Nezumi
    Curse those sewer rats! I told them
    to be careful with those pipes!
[21:08] Hijita
    Damn it! Now we've done it!
[21:10] Hijita
    Run away!
[21:11] Nezumi
    Lickity-squeak!
[21:13] Kou
    Did Hijita and those rats
    coincidentally break it?
[21:15] Rin
    No way...
[21:16] Haruaki
    The water pipe just happens
    to burst right now?
[21:19] Haruaki
    It's like we're being protected
    by the god of fortune...
[21:23] Sano
    The god of fortune, huh?
[21:26] Haruaki
    Also, we were lucky that
    Yanagida-kun showed up.
[21:30] Yanagida
    Oh, I'm not Yanagida-kun.
[21:32] Haruaki
    Huh?!
[21:33] Yanagida (Yamazaki)
    I'm the doppelganger police officer.
[21:36] Haruaki
    Oh, really? Thank you very much.
[21:40] Yanagida (Yamazaki)
    If you're gonna thank
    someone, thank Sano-kun.
[21:42] Yanagida (Yamazaki)
    Sano-kun just happened to find
    me and asked for my help,
[21:46] Yanagida (Yamazaki)
    so I transformed into Yanagida-kun.
[21:49] Haruaki
    Thanks, Sano-kun.
[21:51] Sano
    You're such a pain in the ass.
[21:54] Rin
    Oh, I guess everyone's
    already at the station.
[21:57] Yanagida (Yamazaki)
    Let's hurry back, Abe-sensei.
[22:00] Haruaki
    Right!
[22:04] Cop
    Hey! Don't go casually flying around up here!
[22:07] All
    Sorry!

Season 1

13 - The Cursed Secondhand Book

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Class 2-3
[00:00] Haruaki
    And with that, the first
    term has come to a close.
[00:04] Haruaki
    I look forward to seeing all of your
    cheerful faces in the new term.
SIGN    Summer
    Vacation
[00:08] Beniko
    About damn time.
[00:10] Mamekichi
    All right! We're gonna play all
    we want starting tomorrow!
[00:12] Oota and Toubyou
    Yeah!
[00:14] Small Old Man
    And so, summer vacation
    begins at Hyakki Academy.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Tokyo
SIGN    Morioka
SIGN    Iwate
SIGN    Episode 13
    "The Cursed
    Secondhand Book"
[01:59] Hijita
    Seriously, you should be doing this for
    your husband, not your younger brother.
[02:03] Hijita Sister
    And I'm practicing on you so I don't
    rip a hole in my husband's ear.
[02:08] Hijita
    So I'm just a guinea pig?
[02:09] Hijita Mom
    Koutarou.
[02:11] Hijita
    What, Mom? I'm busy right now.
[02:12] Hijita Mom
    Nyuudou-kun's here.
[02:14] Nyuudou
    H-Hey...
[02:16] Nyuudou
    Sorry to interrupt your siscon activities.
[02:18] Hijita
    What? N-No! What are you doing here, anyway?
[02:21] Nyuudou
    Well, stuff happened.
[02:26] Nyuudou
    I'm going to be staying at Zashiki's
    place next door again this year,
[02:30] Nyuudou
    so I came by to say hi.
[02:31] Hijita
    Did you run away again?
[02:33] Nyuudou
    Ah...
[02:34] Nyuudou
    Yeah, pretty much.
[02:36] Hijita
    Hey, why don't you try talking to Seimei?
[02:39] Hijita
    I know how he is, but he's our teacher...
[02:42] Nyuudou
    What's the point in telling him?
[02:46] Nyuudou
    It won't change anything.
[02:49] Beniko
    Hey, you two.
[02:51] Beniko
    I brought you some shaved ice.
[02:53] Beniko
    Eat up!
[02:54] Hijita
    Beni-chan, you're here?
[02:55] Beniko
    I made some special syrup in the kitchen.
[02:58] Beniko
    Eat up, Hijita.
[03:00] Hijita
    Isn't it a bit brown?
[03:02] Beniko
    I made it so it'd suit your
    tastes as a dorotabou.
[03:04] Beniko
    I'm having a normal strawberry one.
[03:06] Nyuudou
    I'll have the other strawberry.
[03:07] Hijita
    I wonder what everyone else is
    doing on their summer vacation.
[03:11] Nyuudou
    Oota said he was going to watch
    baseball with Akibe-san.
[03:14] Both
    Yay!
[03:16] Beniko
    They're a surprisingly active couple.
[03:19] Nyuudou
    Right?
[03:19] Beniko
    Come to think of it, three days ago,
[03:21] Beniko
    the tanuki and cat came by to borrow
    a bike trailer to catch some bugs.
[03:28] Hijita
    "Dorotabou tastes," my ass! This is just dirt!
[03:33] Beniko
    Tee-hee!
SIGN    Tokyo
SIGN    Okayama
[03:37] Mamekichi
    Hey!
SIGN    Okayama
[03:40] Mamekichi
    Akisame-kun!
[03:42] Mamekichi
    I caught a new type of butterfly!
[03:45] Tamao
    Well done, Omame!
[03:46] Renjou
    That's my father!
[03:49] Mamekichi
    Whoops. I guess it's another
    one of Renjou-san's family.
[03:54] Mamekichi
    The giant spider we caught
    earlier was your mom...
[03:58] Tamao
    Is this stag beetle your little sister?
[04:00] Renjou
    That's not my little sister.
    Isn't that a cockroach?
[04:04] Tamao
    Well, shoot.
[04:05] Tamao
    We're getting nowhere on our
    bug-collecting research project.
[04:07] Tamao
    My mom's gonna chew me out.
[04:09] Mamekichi
    I'm not gonna get yelled at.
[04:11] Mamekichi
    Because my dad went to Kyoto today.
[04:14] Mamekichi
    My mom's anger is always directed at my dad.
[04:17] Tamao
    Why would he get yelled at for going to Kyoto?
SIGN    Okayama
SIGN    Kyoto
SIGN    Kyoto
[04:26] Mame Papa
    Rin-chwan!
[04:29] Mame Papa
    I haven't seen you since Golden Week!
[04:31] Miki
    It's been so long.
[04:33] Mame Papa
    You haven't been at work lately.
    I've been worried.
[04:36] Miki
    Yeah, I was busy teaching your son at school.
[04:40] Miki
    Also, I'm your son's former
    homeroom teacher and a guy.
[04:42] Miki
    Figure it out already, you pervy old man!
[04:44] Mame Papa
    Ah, it's time for a potty break.
[04:47] Miki
    Oh, let me take you.
[04:49] Miki
    Onee-chan!
[04:51] Torako
    What are you yelling about?
[04:53] Miki
    I said I'd help out while I was back home,
[04:55] Miki
    but why do I have to deal
    with that guy again?!
[04:58] Torako
    Well, you said you were broke, so I'm
    letting you make some pocket money.
[05:02] Miki
    Come on...
SIGN    Whoosh
[05:04] Torako
    Go on, now. He's comin' back.
[05:07] Torako
    Make sure you wring out all the cash
    you can from the tanuki daddy.
SIGN    Miki's Belongings
SIGN    Hatanaka-kun
[05:18] Hatanaka
    Rintarou's not answering...
[05:20] Hatanaka
    He said he was going back home. Is he all right?
[05:25] Son
    Look, Papa! I'm kicking!
[05:27] Hatanaka
    Come on, now!
[05:28] Saki
    Hey! Don't splash water over here.
[05:32] Hatanaka
    Come on. Stop that.
[05:33] Saki
    Hey!
[05:36] Hatanaka
    Sorry, I need a towel!
    Could you bring me a towel?
[05:40] Haruaki
    Coming!
[05:44] Haruaki
    Sano-kun!
[05:46] Haruaki
    I've been waiting for you!
[05:49] Haruaki
    'Sup, Yakubyougami? What do you want?
[05:52] Sano
    Hell if I know.
[05:54] Sano
    I only came here because the principal
    gave me a map and it led here.
[05:58] Haruaki
    What? You didn't hear?
[06:00] Haruaki
    I told the principal that I wanted to
    spend the summer with you, and he said,
[06:06] Haruaki
    "Then he's all yours this year."
[06:09] Amaaki
    Huh?
[06:11] Sano
    Seriously?
[06:14] Mom
    I can finally put this guest
    tea cup to good use.
[06:17] Haruaki
    I wonder if Sano-kun would
    like green tea or hojicha.
[06:22] Mom
    Well, I'm glad you were discharged from
    the hospital before summer vacation.
[06:27] Mom
    I almost fainted when I heard
    you'd gotten hurt in a fire.
[06:32] Haruaki
    But I'm totally fine no—
[06:33] Mom
    Haruaki...
[06:34] Haruaki
    Huh?
[06:36] Mom
    You got lucky this time,
    but don't push yourself.
[06:41] Mom
    If you push yourself and end up
    disregarding your own safety,
[06:45] Mom
    you're also disregarding
    everyone you're important to.
[06:49] Mom
    You need to realize you're alive
    because people support you.
[06:54] Mom
    If you're going to push yourself, do so
    in a way that won't make anyone sad.
[06:58] Haruaki
    Okay. I'm sorry I worried you.
[07:03] Haruaki
    Huh? You start your part-time
    job today, Sano-kun?
[07:06] Sano
    Yeah, pretty much.
[07:08] Sano
    So after this, I'm heading
    to Hyakki Academy Island.
[07:11] Haruaki
    In that case, do you mind if I go with you?
[07:14] Haruaki
    I forgot something in the faculty room.
[07:16] Haruaki
    But wait... how are you
    getting to the island?
[07:19] Sano
    Well, the principal...
SIGN    Quick
SIGN    Taxi
[07:24] Haruaki
    Huh... So if you call this phone
    number, someone will pick you up?
[07:29] Sano
    Yeah. Hello? I'd like to go
    to Hyakki Academy Island.
[07:33] Yanagida
    Thanks for waiting.
[07:35] Sano
    Wait, that voice...
SIGN    Vacant
[07:38] Yanagida
    Your ittan-momen taxi is here.
[07:40] Sano
    Geh! Yanagida!
SIGN    Gida
[07:41] Yanagida
    I work as a taxi during
    summer break to make money.
[07:45] Yanagida
    I'll take you anywhere in
    the country for 500 yen!
[07:47] Yanagida
    I can get you to the school
    from here in five minutes.
[07:49] Haruki
    But we'd die if you flew that fast.
[07:52] Yanagida
    Don't worry. These seats have youkai magic
    cast on them. They're super efficient.
[07:56] Sano
    Actually, Yanagida,
[07:58] Sano
    why don't you stop making medicine
    and make this your real job?
[08:01] Yanagida
    But that'd be so dull that there'd
    be no excitement in my life.
[08:03] Yanagida
    Messing up making medicine and almost
    blowing up the school is a good balance.
[08:08] Haruki
    I mean, that might work for you,
    but it doesn't work for us.
[08:11] Yanagida
    Here we go!
[08:21] Haruaki
    I can't believe it! How could I forget
    my Super Cute Uniform Encyclopedia?
[08:25] Haruaki
    Now, then. I'll have
    Yanagida-kun take me back...
[08:28] Haruaki
    Oh, I know! While I'm here...
SIGN    Youkai Bookstore
[08:35] Sano
    I knew you'd show up.
[08:38] Haruaki
    And I figured you were expecting me.
[08:41] Haruaki
    Working at a used book store is pretty fancy.
[08:44] Sano
    Well, I'm basically just looking after
    the shop since no one comes by.
[08:48] Haruaki
    Huh... So you're here by yourself?
[08:51] Sano
    The old lady who owns the place is out right
    now, and the other employee here is...
[08:55] Tenmaru
    Oh? Well, if it isn't Abe-sensei.
[08:58] Haruaki
    K-Karasuma-kun?!
[09:00] Sano
    You actually know Karasuma-kun?
[09:03] Haruaki
    You know! He's one of the
    members of the karasu tengu
[09:05] Haruaki
    that tanukinapped Maizuka-kun the other day.
[09:08] Sano
    What? You tanukinapped Mame?!
[09:10] Tenmaru
    Now, I'm just an honest young
    man working at this bookstore.
[09:14] Haruaki
    This is what you should've
    been doing in the first place.
[09:16] Tenmaru
    But that's so boring.
[09:18] Tenmaru
    We're the best when we're doing evil deeds.
[09:22] Yanagida
    It's a good balance.
[09:23] Haruaki/Sano
    He's saying the same thing as Yanagida-kun.
SIGN    Leave the evil deeds to us
SIGN    Tenmaru Karasuma
SIGN    Karasu Tengu Troupe Secretary
[09:25] Tenmaru
    Anyway, I'll be happy to help you
    out with any evil deed, Abe-sensei.
[09:31] Haruaki
    You probably won't have to worry about that.
SIGN    Leave the evil deeds to us
SIGN    Tenmaru Karasuma
[09:37] Haruaki
    Karasuma-kun sorta reminds me of you.
[09:40] Haruaki
    You're both cool.
[09:41] Sano
    What? We're nothing alike.
[09:43] Sano
    I mean, he tries to act cool, but...
SIGN    Buddha Nirvana
    Magical Girl
    Mandala
SIGN    First Press
    Limited Edition
SIGN    Comes with a special figure
[09:48] Tenmaru
    The Buddha Nirvana Magical Girl Mandala
    Collector's Edition that comes with a figure!
[09:53] Tenmaru
    I couldn't even find this in Akiba!
    I can't believe it's here!
[09:56] Tenmaru
    Dude, the quality's amazing on this thing!
[09:59] Sano
    As you can see, he's a hardcore
    2D otaku. You think we're alike?
[10:04] Haruaki
    Sorry, you guys aren't that alike after all.
[10:07] Haruaki
    Okay, I'm gonna go look at some books.
[10:09] Sano
    Sure. Find a good one and
    contribute to the sales here.
[10:13] Haruaki
    I don't even know where to start
    when there's this many...
[10:20] Haruaki
    I feel like this book is calling to me...
[10:22] Honda
    Ah, you've got a good eye, sir.
[10:25] Haruaki
    Whoa!
[10:26] Haruaki
    I guess there's another employee here!
[10:28] Honda
    That one's got a neat trick to it.
    I highly recommend it.
[10:31] Honda
    Perhaps it's because it's not finished,
    but no one else will read it.
[10:34] Haruaki
    Huh?
[10:36] Honda
    But it's really interesting, and the
    reader can supply their own ending.
[10:40] Haruaki
    I didn't know that was a thing!
    I guess I'll read it, then.
SIGN    Me
[10:45] Haruaki
    "It happened on a rainy day.
[10:48] Haruaki
    While I was feeling a bit listless
    from the dull atmosphere,
[10:51] Haruaki
    I continued my shift as an
    employee at a bookstore."
[10:54] Haruaki
    I guess this book stars a bookstore employee.
    Just like Sano-kun and Karasuma-kun.
[10:59] Haruaki
    "Then, suddenly, thunder crashed
    along with some other noise."
SIGN    Crash
[11:07] Sano
    Thunder and lightning?
[11:08] Sano
    That sounded super close.
[11:10] Tenmaru
    It was sunny just moments ago.
SIGN    Youkai Bookstore
[11:12] Tenmaru
    Oh, it's starting to rain, too.
[11:15] Haruaki
    That startled me! Anyway,
    let's read more of the book.
[11:19] Haruaki
    "That day, the owner was out,
[11:22] Haruaki
    and my coworker So-and-So-san
    and I had nothing to do."
[11:27] Haruaki
    "So-and-So-san"?
[11:29] Haruaki
    "Fill this in with the name of a
    human or youkai around you."
[11:32] Haruaki
    But of course!
[11:33] Haruaki
    Then I'll read this as Sano-kun, the protagonist,
    with Karasuma-kun as his coworker.
SIGN    So-and-So-san
SIGN    Shop Employee
    "Me"
SIGN    Karasuma-kun
[11:41] Haruki
    Hey! The name changed!
[11:43] Haruki
    This must be the neat trick that
    employee was talking about!
[11:48] Haruki
    The youkai author must've cast
    some sort of youkai magic on it.
SIGN    Chills
[11:54] Sano
    What the... I suddenly felt a chill...
[11:57] Tenmaru
    My body also feels heavy suddenly...
[12:01] Sano
    It's raining, but I'm going
    out for some fresh air.
[12:06] Sano
    The door won't open...
[12:08] Tenmaru
    Maybe it's locked.
[12:10] Sano
    No, it's not...
[12:13] Haruaki
    What's wrong, you two?
[12:15] Tenmaru
    The door won't open.
[12:17] Haruaki
    The door?
[12:19] Haruaki
    I-It couldn't be...
[12:22] Haruaki
    "I suddenly felt a chill.
[12:24] Haruaki
    Apparently, Karasuma-kun
    felt something similar,
[12:27] Haruaki
    and the entrance door was tightly shut."
[12:29] Haruaki
    N-Next...
[12:31] Haruaki
    "And then, books suddenly fell
    onto Karasuma-kun's head."
[12:39] Tenmaru
    Ow... What the heck? A book
    suddenly fell on my head...
[12:44] Sano
    Did they fall from the bookshelf?
[12:47] Sano
    What's wrong, Seimei?
[12:50] Haruaki
    Um...
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[12:59] Sano and Tenmaru
    So you're saying...
[13:01] Sano
    ...that we're now the characters in this book?
[13:04] Haruaki
    Apparently so...
[13:05] Sano
    You bastard...
[13:07] Sano
    How dare you drag us into
    something this nonsensical?
[13:10] Haruaki
    Right... I'm willing to
    accept any punishment.
[13:13] Tenmaru
    More importantly,
[13:14] Tenmaru
    Abe-sensei said some male employee
    recommended this book to him...
[13:18] Tenmaru
    but Sano-senpai and I are
    the only ones working today.
[13:21] Haruaki
    Huh?
[13:22] Haruaki
    No, there was another one!
[13:23] Haruaki
    Maybe he was a customer...
[13:25] Tenmaru
    You're the only customer
    right now, Abe-sensei.
[13:27] Haruaki
    Huh?
[13:28] Sano
    Maybe your sixth sense kicked in.
[13:31] Haruaki
    What?! He was a ghost?!
[13:34] Haruaki
    C-Could it be that...
[13:36] Haruaki
    He's a past victim of this book,
    and he's trying to gain more dead buddies?!
[13:40] Tenmaru
    We can't go outside, so apparently
    Sano-senpai and I are being held hostage
[13:45] Tenmaru
    by this book until Abe-sensei
    finishes reading this book.
[13:50] Haruaki
    Th-Then I'll continue reading, so be careful.
[13:53] Both
    Gulp.
[13:55] Both
    Um... "Meanwhile, near the
    store, lightning crashed and—"
[14:00] Haruaki
    "They were surrounded in darkness.
    It seems the power went out."
[14:04] Sano
    Wait, why is it so dark
    in the middle of the day?
[14:07] Haruaki
    One sec. My phone's in my pocket...
[14:10] Haruaki
    What's that sound?
[14:13] All
    What?!
[14:15] Haruaki
    K-Karasuma-kun!
[14:18] Haruaki
    K-Karasuma-kun?
[14:22] Haruaki
    "After taking out a light from my
    pocket, I nervously shone it around.
[14:26] Haruaki
    My coworker, Karasuma-kun, had collapsed.
[14:29] Haruaki
    I panicked and called out to him,
    but there was no response.
[14:33] Haruaki
    That's right...
[14:34] Haruaki
    The Karasuma-kun that was laying there...
[14:37] Haruaki
    was dead."
[14:41] Sano
    Karasuma-kun!
[14:44] Sano
    It's no use...
SIGN    Silence...
[14:46] Sano
    His heart's stopped.
[14:48] Haruaki
    O-Oh, no...
[14:51] Haruaki
    D-Damn it! I'll never accept a book
    that messes with its readers like this!
[14:57] Haruaki
    "Or so I thought, but I had just imagined it."
[15:01] Sano
    Karasuma-kun!
[15:02] Haruaki
    Thank goodness! He came back to life!
[15:05] Tenmaru
    That startled me... I was being
    forced to swim in a lake of blood...
[15:09] Sano
    Hey, look. The text in the book is changing.
[15:12] Tenmaru
    Apparently, the story progression changes
    depending on what's written in the book.
[15:17] Sano
    Then why don't we just end it right now?
[15:20] Haruaki
    Oh, right!
[15:23] Haruaki
    Huh? It's no use.
[15:25] Haruaki
    I'm trying to write "the end,"
    but the pencil won't move.
[15:29] Haruaki
    Maybe we need to at least
    follow some of the story...
[15:33] Tenmaru
    I guess the only path is for Sensei to read on
[15:36] Tenmaru
    and pencil in some things to
    lead us to a happy ending.
[15:40] Haruaki
    That's a huge responsibility...
[15:43] Haruaki
    "It looks like we're saved.
[15:46] Haruaki
    And then, the regular
    So-and-So-san showed up.
[15:49] Haruaki
    It was raining hard outside,
    and they came in to get out of the rain."
[15:53] Haruaki
    Another character just showed up!
[15:56] Sano
    Make it someone who can handle something bad!
[15:58] Haruaki
    What?! I can't pick!
[16:01] Haruaki
    I mean, my students and the mandragoras
    are out of the question...
[16:03] Haruaki
    I don't want to involve my family...
[16:05] Haruaki
    Well, the teachers...
[16:07] Haruaki
    Er, no. They'd be scary later.
[16:11] Tenmaru
    In that case, I have the perfect candidate.
[16:17] Bonmaru
    I'm coming in to get out of the rain for a bit.
[16:21] Bonmaru
    Wait...
[16:22] Bonmaru
    Ten-chan and that one brat from before.
[16:25] Haruaki
    I'm apologizing in advance.
    I'm really sorry about this.
[16:28] Tenmaru
    I mean, it won't be a big deal if he dies.
[16:31] Bonmaru
    That's one hell of a greeting.
[16:37] Bonmaru
    More importantly, what's going on here?
[16:41] Haruaki
    Well...
SIGN    Blah, blah,
    yada, yada
SIGN    You use this when you
    want to summarize
    something.
[16:43] Small old man
    Blah, blah, yada, yada.
[16:45] Bonmaru
    What?! What the hell does that mean?
[16:47] Tenmaru
    Anyway, as long as Abe-sensei rewrites the
    story before something really bad happens...
[16:52] Haruaki
    Y-Yeah, you're right.
[16:56] Sano
    That hurt!
[16:57] Bonmaru
    Hey! What're you doin', Ten-chan?
[17:00] Tenmaru
    I'm not sure. My body's moving on its own.
[17:02] Bonmaru
    Hey, now. This isn't going to turn into
    a murder case or something, is it?
[17:08] Haruaki
    No! Don't do anything rash!
[17:11] Haruaki
    "Karasuma-kun slowly grabbed onto
    my clothes and then XXXXX... Oh!"
[17:19] Bonmaru
    Th-This is an...
[17:21] Haruaki
    ...erotic novel!
[17:24] Tenmaru
    Wait, does that mean Sano-senpai and I—
[17:27] Tenmaru
    Y-You can't be serious!
[17:29] Tenmaru
    Do you know how hard I've been
    trying to keep my virginity?!
[17:32] Tenmaru
    I can't lose it right here
    and now to Sano-senpai!
[17:35] Haruaki
    Um, um...
[17:36] Bonmaru
    Hey! Hurry up and write something!
[17:38] Bonmaru
    Those two are going to kiss!
[17:40] Haruaki
    "Bonmaru-san fantasized that whole thing!"
[17:43] Bonmaru
    What?!
[17:45] Bonmaru
    Oh, God! Lewd scenes of these
    two are filling my brain!
[17:52] Haruaki
    At this rate, they're not
    going to mentally survive!
[17:55] Haruaki
    If only there were some other youkai...
[17:58] Haruaki
    Oh, right! We don't exactly
    have to solve this on our own!
[18:02] All
    Huh?
[18:04] Haruaki
    Bring it on, you weird book!
[18:06] Haruaki
    I'm gonna fight weirdness with weirdness!
[18:12] Sano
    "A giant meteor came falling!"
[18:14] Haruaki
    "But!"
[18:17] Oota
    Man, that home run was so cool!
[18:20] Oota
    I wish I could bat like that!
[18:23] Akibe
    Nice home run!
[18:24] Oota
    Huh? I think I might've
    hit something just now...
[18:28] Haruaki
    "Oota-kun hit it back."
[18:31] Tenmaru
    "Poisonous plants started
    growing in the yard."
[18:33] Haruki
    "Coincidentally... it happened right
    where Yanagida-kun was taking a break."
SIGN    Poison
SIGN    Poison
SIGN    Poison
SIGN    Poison
SIGN    Poison
SIGN    Poison
[18:39] Yanagida
    Ooh, poisonous plants!
SIGN    Poison
SIGN    Poison
[18:40] Yanagida
    I'm gonna make me some poison!
[18:45] Bonmaru
    "A flock of locusts came flying."
[18:48] Haruaki
    "Right where there were
    some kids collecting bugs!"
SIGN    Okayama
[18:53] Mame and Tamao
    What a haul!
[18:59] Sano
    "A truck busted in."
[19:01] Haruaki
    "To this person's place!"
SIGN    Kyoto
[19:05] Geisha
    A truck!
[19:06] Geisha
    Is being held up!
[19:08] Miki
    That's dangerous, damn it.
[19:11] Haruaki
    "To a drunk Rintarou-kun!"
[19:13] Miki
    You're in the way, damn it!
[19:17] Tenmaru
    "Kidnapped by aliens."
[19:18] Haruaki
    Well, these people would
    absolutely love that!
SIGN    To
    Takahashi-sensei
[19:24] Takahashi
    Wow... It's been my dream ever
    since I was a child to meet aliens.
[19:28] Takahashi
    I'm so curious...
[19:30] Takahashi
    I wonder if you have blood types.
[19:33] Takahashi
    What color is it?
[19:35] Takahashi
    Body temperature?
[19:35] Takahashi
    What shapes are its organs?
[19:38] Takahashi
    What kinds do you have?
[19:40] Takahashi
    I want to see all of this with my own eyes!
SIGN    Huff
SIGN    Huff
SIGN    Huff
SIGN    Huff
[19:47] Sano
    Okay, the book's getting tired.
[19:50] Haruaki
    How's that?! Truth is stranger than fiction!
[19:53] Haruaki
    A bizarre book is no match for my weirdness!
SIGN    Huff
SIGN    Huff
SIGN    Huff
SIGN    Huff
[19:58] Tenmaru
    There are only a few pages remaining!
[20:00] Haruaki
    So, what are you going to do next?
[20:02] Haruaki
    "And so, the cursed book sucked
    in everyone around it."
[20:06] All
    Huh?
[20:08] Haruaki
    "And then they became a part of the cast of
    characters to forever entertain readers."
[20:12] All
    Huh?
[20:17] Bonmaru
    Wha—
[20:19] Bonmaru
    What the hell is this?!
[20:20] Sano
    Seimei!
[20:22] Haruaki
    Then how about this?!
[20:26] Haruaki
    "But the book fell to Haruaki
    Abe's power to exorcise demons!"
[20:38] Sano
    It's not over yet! End that book!
[20:41] Haruaki
    "And so, the book's curse was lifted!
[20:44] Haruaki
    And everyone lived happily ever after!
[20:47] Haruaki
    The end!"
[20:56] Tenmaru
    We can take this to mean the
    curse was indeed lifted, right?
[21:00] All
    W-We're saved...
SIGN    Author
    Photo
SIGN    m 0 0 l 120 0 120 1000 0 1000
SIGN    Kotoba Honda
SIGN    1915-1945
SIGN    Born in Tokyo
SIGN    Though he spent his life as a human,
    he was rumored to have supernatural
    powers. He never got noticed as an
    author while he was alive, and his
    dream to have his work published
    never came true, but after his death,
    a youkai publishing editorial
    department found a safe from his
    home that burnt down and...
[21:06] Haruaki
    This person...
[21:08] Haruaki
    He's the employee who
    suggested this book to me!
[21:11] Sano
    So it was the author's ghost...
[21:14] Tenmaru
    Apparently he passed away a long time ago.
[21:16] Haruaki
    So he really was a ghost.
[21:19] Tenmaru
    Maybe he couldn't pass on because
    his book was incomplete,
[21:24] Tenmaru
    so he relied on you since
    you have a strong sixth sense.
[21:28] Haruaki
    I see.
[21:30] Haruaki
    It ended up a really weird story,
[21:32] Haruaki
    but if the author and this book are now
    able to rest in peace, it's worth it.
[21:37] Bonmaru
    Yeah.
[21:38] Tenmaru
    Yup.
[21:41] Haruaki
    If everything I wrote came true,
[21:43] Haruaki
    I should've written things that
    would've benefited us more!
[21:47] Bonmaru
    Yeah!
[21:48] Haruaki
    Like conveniently being buried in uniforms!
[21:50] Bonmaru
    Or conveniently becoming rich!
[21:52] Tenmaru
    Actually, I think you might still make it!
[21:54] Tenmaru
    And then please conveniently create a
    girlfriend I can lose my virginity to!
[21:59] Sano
    Seriously...
SIGN    Youkai Bookstore
[22:02] Sano
    Go get cursed again, you idiots!
SIGN    Author
    Photo
[22:07] Honda
    Tee-hee-hee.

Season 1

14 - Zashiki-san's Bed-and-Breakfast Home

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Haruaki
    It's right around the middle
    of summer vacation...
[00:09] Haruaki
    and today, we're all having a study
    session at Hijita-kun's home in Iwate.
[00:12] Mamekichi
    Whew... I finally finished my picture
    diary all the way to August 31st.
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
[00:18] Haruaki
    Huh?! But it's still August 10th!
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
[00:21] Mamekichi
    I just tried to imagine what
    I'd draw tomorrow and on.
SIGN    Youkai Items
    Encyclopedia
[00:23] Haruaki
    Namaste!
[00:25] Mamekichi
    August 13th. Seimei-kun suddenly
    went to India to train as a warrior.
[00:30] Mamekichi
    August 20th. Nyuudou-kun became
    a partier and got all the girls.
[00:35] Nyuudou
    Well, ain't you a cutie?
[00:37] Mamekcihi
    August 31st. I wonder what
    happened to Seimei-kun...
[00:41] Haruaki
    Wait! What happened to me in India?!
[00:47] Beniko
    It's 3 PM... I have plans, so I'm going home.
[00:52] Hijita
    You're just running away because
    you don't want to study.
[00:54] Beniko
    No.
[00:56] Beniko
    Someone's coming to interview
    my family's bed and breakfast.
[01:00] All
    Interview?!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Occult Paradise
    July
[02:33] Haruaki
    Huh... So your family's place is
    going to be in this magazine.
SIGN    Occult Paradise
    July
[02:38] Sano
    I didn't even know your family
    ran a bed and breakfast.
SIGN    Episode 14
    "Zashiki-san's
    Bed-and-Breakfast Home"
[02:41] Beniko
    For humans, yeah.
[02:43] Beniko
    Our bed and breakfast keeps becoming a hot
    topic among humans because youkai appear.
[02:48] Haruaki
    I think I've seen something
    like that on TV before.
[02:52] Beniko
    All three of my dads are human,
    and they don't understand youkai very well,
[02:57] Beniko
    so I have to make sure they don't
    accidentally say anything weird.
[03:00] Haruaki and sano
    Three dads?
SIGN    Zashiki Manor
[03:06] Matsuo
    Huh... So you're Beniko's
    homeroom teacher, eh?
SIGN    Matsuo
SIGN    Kotake
[03:10] Kotake
    What kind of youkai are you, Sensei?
SIGN    Koume
[03:13] Koume
    He seems like an akaname.
[03:15] Haruaki
    An akaname?!
[03:16] Sano
    I guess you really do have three dads.
[03:19] Beniko
    Yup.
[03:20] Beniko
    A long time ago, Matsu-san bought
    an old house with his friends,
[03:25] Beniko
    Take-san and Ume-san,
     to start a bed and breakfast.
[03:29] (Flashback) Matsuo
    We haven't been able to find a job,
    so let's start a bed and breakfast!
[03:32] (Flashback) Kotake
    How much did you buy this place for?
[03:34] (Flashback) Matsuo
    Two hundred thousand!
[03:35] (Flashback) Koume
    What a dump...
[03:36] Beniko
    They started remodeling
    the place on their own
[03:39] Beniko
    to make it a bed and
    breakfast, and one day...
[03:43] (Flashback) Kotake
    Do you guys see that lump in the floor?
[03:51] Beniko
    So, yeah. I was born from the house.
[03:55] Yanagida
    I see. So when a house and
    human really love each other,
[03:59] Yanagida
    a zashikiwarashi is born.
[04:01] Mamekichi
    So I guess this house is
    your mom, Beniko-chan.
[04:05] Beniko
    That doesn't matter, but Dads, these guys
    said they'd help out with the interview.
[04:10] Matsuo
    Help out?
[04:12] Hijita
    We'll help spook the interviewers.
[04:15] Matsuo
    That's great! We'll be counting on
    you to bring in more customers!
[04:20] Yanagida
    While we're at it, I'll go ahead and
    invite the other guys from Class 3.
[04:24] Haruaki
    But wow, Zashiki-san. It's amazing
    that you were born from a house.
[04:28] Nyuudou
    I never knew about that.
[04:30] Haruaki
    How were you born, Nyuudou-kun?
[04:34] Nyuudou
    Normally.
[04:36] Nyuudou
    Just like humans.
[04:39] Haruaki
    Oh... I see.
[04:41] Nyuudou
    What? Did you think I was
    born from an eyeball?
[04:44] Haruaki
    Maybe a little bit.
[04:46] Nyuudou
    All right. Let's help them get ready.
[04:54] Interviewer
    Thanks for having us over!
[04:56] Interviewer
    Hello. I'm a reporter for
    Monthly Occult Paradise.
[04:59] Mamekichi
    They're here...
[05:01] Hijita
    They just look like some
    background characters.
[05:03] Nyuudou
    Two of them?
[05:04] Reporter
    So that we can write this article
    from various points of view,
[05:08] Reporter
    I had a scientist who doesn't believe
    in the occult come along, as well.
[05:12] Scientist
    Hello.
[05:13] Reporter
    He's been able to scientifically explain
    lots of supernatural phenomena.
[05:18] Scientist
    Yes. Anything occult is fake, after all.
[05:23] Scientist
    But I realize it's hard to get
    customers at a place like this
[05:26] Scientist
    in this day and age if you don't
    have some kind of gimmick.
[05:29] Scientist
    My condolences.
[05:31] Hijita
    That stupid, gangly-armed,
    nerdy-ass four-eyes!
[05:33] Hijita
    I'll drown him in mud!
[05:35] Mamekichi
    Hiji-tan! Calm down!
[05:37] Nyuudou
    I get how you feel, but...
[05:39] Beniko
    The hell did you just say, you
    gangly-armed, nerdy-ass, four-eyes?
[05:42] Beniko
    Don't blame me if you piss your pants later.
[05:47] Matsuo
    I'm sorry. Our daughter is rather blunt.
[05:51] Kotake
    Beniko, of course we want him to die,
    but you shouldn't say that out loud.
[05:55] Koume
    She didn't go that far.
[05:57] Scientist
    My, what a pure young lady filled with dreams.
[06:01] Scientist
    Very well. Then please scare me by tomorrow.
[06:05] Beniko
    You got it.
[06:06] Beniko
    If we scare you, you'd better write a
    five-star review online, you stupid four-eyes!
[06:10] Scientist
    Though you're also a four-eyes.
[06:13] Beniko
    You bet eye am!
[06:15] Haruaki
    Eye-eye-eye, things seem to be heating up.
[06:17] Sano
    It's gotten so heated, they're speaking
    in eye puns. Eye didn't see that coming.
[06:21] Nyuudou
    Wow, eye didn't know it was contagious.
[06:22] Yanagida
    Hey! Did you wait long?
[06:25] Yanagida
    I just went ahead and kidnapped some
    classmates who seemed to be free.
SIGN    203
[06:30] Fuji
    I see.
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Oni
[06:31] Fuji
    So we just need to spook this scientist
    and scare the crap outta him.
[06:36] Hijita
    Seimei, you're pretty good at coming
    up with plans at times like this.
[06:40] Hijita
    You got any ideas?
[06:42] Beniko
    No, I'm the one who started this,
[06:45] Beniko
    so I'm gonna take responsibility
    and give the orders.
[06:48] Beniko
    We'll start with a light jab.
[06:50] Beniko
    Fuji!
[06:51] Fuji
    Me?!
[06:52] Reporter
    Pardon us.
[06:55] Reporter
    Wow! So many dolls!
[06:58] Scientist
    A common gimmick for places like this.
[07:02] Fuji
    Pardon me.
[07:06] Fuji
    I'm sorry for my late introduction.
[07:09] Fuji
    I'm the matron of this inn.
[07:11] Fuji
    Thank you very much for
    coming to Zashiki Manor.
[07:14] Reporter
    Wow, what a hottie!
[07:16] Fuji
    Here are some tea snacks.
[07:18] Reporter
    Hey, thanks!
[07:20] Reporter
    Yikes! Your hands are so cold, ma'am!
[07:23] Fuji
    Oh, I'm sorry. I get cold easily.
[07:26] Fuji
    Please enjoy your stay.
[07:30] Reporter
    Th-Thanks...
[07:31] Reporter
    That goes beyond getting cold easily.
[07:34] Reporter
    She was as cold as ice!
[07:36] Koume
    Hello! I brought some tea snacks!
[07:39] Reporter
    Huh? But the matron just
    brought us tea snacks.
[07:43] Reporter
    She apologized for not greeting us sooner.
[07:45] Koume
    Matron?
[07:46] Koume
    The only female worker we have here is
    our daughter Beniko, whom you met earlier.
[07:51] Koume
    Enjoy your stay.
[07:54] Reporter
    W-W-Well, her hands were as cold as ice!
[07:59] Fuji
    Wasn't my acting awesome?!
[08:01] Haruaki
    Fuji-kun is sorta terrifying.
[08:03] Reporter
    Th-Then were these snacks
    prepared by a ghost?
[08:09] Reporter
    What's inside?
[08:14] Small Old Man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[08:17] Small Old Man
    Korpokkur are tiny little youkai
    that fit in the palm of your hand.
[08:21] Small Old Man
    They are often seen living under leaves.
[08:26] Akibe
    Run away!
[08:29] Reporter
    That was a small old man!
[08:31] Reporter
    The one that's supposed to
    bring you luck if you see one!
[08:33] Akibe
    Who're you callin' an old man?
    I'm a cute girl, dagnabbit.
[08:36] Reporter
    Oh, sorry.
[08:39] Akibe
    It's fine, as long as you get it.
[08:42] Reporter
    That wasn't a small old man,
    but a small little lady!
[08:45] Reporter
    I guess youkai really exist!
[08:47] Scientist
    Now, calm down.
[08:49] Scientist
    There's no way someone that small exists.
[08:51] Scientist
    It's clearly just a moving doll.
[08:54] Scientist
    You were spooked by what
    they said about the matron,
[08:57] Scientist
    so your brain just mistook
    that doll for a small youkai.
[09:02] Scientist
    "Occult things occur at this inn."
[09:05] Scientist
    When that thought is
    embedded in your brain,
[09:06] Scientist
    even the slightest things make you
    think they're occult matters.
[09:10] Reporter
    Oh, I see.
[09:11] Scientist
    All things involving the occult are either
    made up or illusions created by your brain.
[09:15] Fuji
    Tch. This guy won't stop spewing nonsense.
[09:18] Fuji
    Big talk for the jerk who
    couldn't even tell I'm a guy.
[09:21] Akibe
    Not to mention, this reporter is just
    believing everything this guy says.
[09:25] Renjou
    Zashiki-san, I'm ready.
[09:28] Beniko
    Right. Okay, you're up, Seimei,
    Kurahashi, and Momoyama-san.
[09:33] Kurahashi
    I-I really need to do this?
[09:36] Beniko
    This is something only you all can do.
[09:38] Haruaki
    Man... I never thought I'd
    be spooking someone, too.
[09:43] Beniko
    Don't worry. You're basically a youkai.
[09:45] Kou
    Little Brother, to experience
    something scary at night...
[09:49] Rin
    ...clear skies just won't do, Little Brother.
SIGN    Zashiki Manor
[10:03] Beniko
    Take-san.
[10:04] Beniko
    We're ready.
[10:06] Kotake
    Roger.
[10:07] Kotake
    Ume-san, Ume-san! There's trouble!
[10:10] Koume
    What's the matter, Take-san?
[10:11] Kotake
    The guest in room 103 just won't come out.
[10:16] Koume
    What? You mean the guest who stayed
    in the room that's supposedly cursed?
[10:19] Reporter
    What? There's a cursed room?
[10:23] Koume
    Room 103 on the first floor is cursed, you see.
[10:26] Koume
    It's dangerous, so we don't
    usually let anyone stay in it,
[10:30] Koume
    but some members of a
    college occult club insisted.
[10:34] Reporter
    I wonder how it's cursed.
[10:36] Koume
    There's a rumor that a spider lady appears.
[10:39] Koume
    A spider possessed a woman who died
    in this room a hundred years ago,
[10:43] Koume
    and she became a youkai that
    attacks people, or something.
[10:48] Reporter
    I-I didn't know this place
    had that kind of legend...
[10:52] Kotake
    I mean, we only built this place 17 years ago.
SIGN    103
[10:56] Kotake
    This is the room. Ume-san, the spare key, please.
[11:02] Koume
    Hello?
[11:04] Koume
    Anyone here?
[11:07] Reporter
    It's the curse of the spider woman!
[11:15] Scientist
    This is actual spider webbing...
[11:17] Beniko
    These college students... were also
    determined to learn about this room's curse.
[11:23] Beniko
    I guess you might be next.
[11:26] Beniko
    Don't provoke those who
    aren't human too much.
[11:30] Scientist
    This is quite the presentation.
[11:34] All
    More importantly, this was
    the role only we could play?
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[11:47] Reporter
    S-Someone call an ambulance!
[11:49] All
    Huh? An ambulance?!
SIGN    Sparkarumble!!
SIGN    Sparkarumble!!
[11:53] Reporter
    Th-The power went out?
[11:54] Reporter
    Is this also the work of the spider woman?
[11:57] Rin
    Now, Renjou-san.
[11:59] Renjou
    Right.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[12:00] Small Old Man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
[12:02] Small Old Man
    Jorougumo. A spider youkai that freely
    controls spider webs with her eight hands.
[12:07] Small Old Man
    She can even produce illusions
    with her youkai magic.
[12:13] Reporter
    Oh, thank goodness! The lights came ba—
[12:16] Reporter
    The dead bodies and the
    spider webs are all gone?!
[12:19] Scientist
    A-ha! So that's what's going on.
[12:22] Scientist
    Those college students were all in on this!
[12:25] Scientist
    When the breaker fell,
    they ran off and hid somewhere!
[12:29] Scientist
    I'm sure it'd be quite inconvenient if there
    was an investigation because of some corpses!
[12:32] Kou Rin
    I guess he's sharper than
    we thought, Little Brother.
[12:36] Scientist
    Those who aren't human? Please.
[12:39] Scientist
    Pathetic!
[12:40] Reporter
    Hey, that's a bit harsh!
[12:42] Koume
    Take-san, don't get mad.
[12:48] Beniko
    Good work, Seimei.
[12:51] Beniko
    Here's some jajamen.
[12:53] Small Old Man
    Jajamen is a famous dish in Iwate.
[12:56] Beniko
    My dads made it for dinner.
[12:58] Haruaki
    Thanks.
[13:00] Haruaki
    Man, I didn't think I'd
    be playing a dead body.
[13:04] Beniko
    You pulled it off perfectly.
[13:05] Beniko
    It's not surprising when you
    show signs of death all the time.
[13:08] Haruaki
    Huh? Uh, sure...
[13:10] Beniko
    That last attempt failed.
[13:11] Beniko
    I need to spook them more
    realistically next.
[13:19] Beniko
    What?
[13:21] Haruaki
    Oh, it's nothing.
[13:22] Haruaki
    It's just rare to see you get serious when
    it comes to someone other than yourself.
[13:26] Haruaki
    Oh, sorry!
[13:28] Haruaki
    I could've worded that better.
[13:29] Haruaki
    You always seem so cool and calm
    as long as things don't involve you.
[13:34] Hijita
    Beniko and Seimei?
[13:36] Beniko
    Seimei, will you hear me out for a bit?
[13:39] Haruaki
    Huh? Sure.
[13:41] Hijita
    Beniko's telling Seimei something?!
[13:43] Hijita
    She's not confessing her
    love or anything, is she?!
[13:48] Beniko
    This happened about ten years ago.
[13:51] Beniko
    Matsu-san was dumped by the woman
    he was dating. I didn't get to meet her.
[13:56] Beniko
    Take-san and Ume-san wouldn't
    tell me why he got dumped.
[14:02] (Flashback) Kotake
    I'll tell you once you're old
    enough to buy pervy books.
[14:05] (Flashback) Koume
    Hey, Take-san!
[14:06] Beniko
    But one day, I ended up hearing the reason.
[14:09] (Flashback) Matsuo
    Well... when I told her about
    Beniko, she thought I was insane.
[14:15] (Flashback) Matsuo
    I mean, of course if you suddenly
    said you had a youkai daughter,
[14:18] (Flashback) Matsuo
    they'd freak out.
[14:19] (Flashback) Matsuo
    But I guess it just means that
    we weren't meant to be together.
[14:24] (Flashback) Hijita
    B-Beni-chan...
[14:27] (Flashback) Beniko
    I knew it.
[14:29] (Flashback) Beniko
    I almost ended up having a stepmom
    who doesn't believe in youkai.
[14:34] (Flashback) Beniko
    Come on, Koutarou.
[14:35] (Flashback) Beniko
    I got some pocket money,
    so let's go to the candy store.
[14:38] (Flashback) Hijita
    Beni-chan—
[14:39] (Flashback) Beniko
    But the old lady at the candy store
    rigged the lottery the other day...
[14:43] (Flashback) Hijita
    Beniko!
[14:45] (Flashback) Beniko
    What? You don't need to pity me.
[14:48] (Flashback) Beniko
    This involves humans and youkai.
    This kind of thing is bound to happen.
[14:54] (Flashback) Beniko
    I'm not even worried about it,
    so don't say anything.
[14:59] Beniko
    Yeah, it can't be helped.
    It was unavoidable.
[15:03] Beniko
    But even so, if I said I didn't
    feel any kind of way, I'd be lying.
[15:08] Haruaki
    Zashiki-san...
[15:10] Beniko
    I mean, I did think about it
    for about a minute before...
[15:14] Beniko
    But I guess worrying about
    stuff isn't really my style.
[15:17] Beniko
    I can at least be considerate, I've got
    a great figure, and my face is cute.
[15:22] Hijita
    She sure thinks highly of herself.
[15:26] Beniko
    Their daughter is this impressive.
[15:28] Beniko
    I'm sure they lost some things
    by having me around...
[15:31] Beniko
    but I'm sure they gained even
    more things by having me around.
[15:35] Beniko
    I want to use this opportunity
    to prove to my dads
[15:39] Beniko
    that I'm a daughter they can be proud of.
[15:44] Haruaki
    It's all right.
[15:45] Haruaki
    I'm sure we'll be able to do that.
[15:50] Beniko
    Yeah, of course.
[15:53] Sano
    Hey, stop pushing! We'll break the door!
[15:57] Haruaki
    Whoa! Wh-What are all of you doing?
[16:00] Kurahashi
    Er, we were just eavesdropping...
[16:02] Fuji
    It was all Sano's idea.
[16:03] Sano
    And you were the first to agree to it, Fuji.
[16:05] Umbrella
    Where are you touching, you perv?!
[16:07] Mamekichi
    Beniko-chan! Let's scare the
    pants off that scientist jerk!
[16:10] Nyuudou
    Tamao, are you crying?
[16:12] Tamao
    I'm so moved!
[16:14] Sano
    You're all freaking heavy. Get off me!
[16:15] Kurahashi
    You're kicking me in the stomach!
[16:17] Beniko
    Seimei, it's just like you
    said the first time we met.
[16:23] (Flashback) Haruaki
    But I'm sure there are things at school
[16:24] (Flashback) Haruaki
    that you can't enjoy in a game!
    I'm sure of it!
[16:28] Beniko
    I'd never be able to find
    these little shits in a game.
[16:34] Beniko
    All right, you guys!
[16:35] Beniko
    We're gonna make that scientist jerk
    and NPC-faced reporter cry!
[16:38] All
    Yeah!
[16:39] Hijita
    And I totally missed my chance to come out.
[16:42] Beniko
    Also, Hijita, stop trying to act
    cool back there and come out.
[16:45] Hijita
    Huh?! If you knew I was here,
    you should've said something!
[16:50] Reporter
    I know what the scientist
    said, but I'm scared.
[16:53] Reporter
    What if that spider woman
    attacks me in the bath?
[16:56] Reporter
    Uh, wait. Where is the bath?
[17:00] Reporter
    Hey, you. Do you know where the bath is?
[17:03] Ogoso
    The bath is over there.
SIGN    Oni
[17:06] Reporter
    Over there? But there's
    only a wall over there.
[17:12] Reporter
    Huh?
SIGN    Bath
[17:13] Reporter
    There's the bath.
[17:14] Reporter
    Oh, that's where it is.
[17:16] Reporter
    Thanks for letting me know.
SIGN    Oni
SIGN    Oni
SIGN    Oni
SIGN    Oni
SIGN    Oni
[17:22] Reporter
    Hm? The door won't open.
[17:25] Scientist
    Hello? What are you doing?
[17:27] Reporter
    Oh, hello. I'm just gonna take a bath.
[17:31] Scientist
    Er, no. What are you doing to that wall?
[17:34] Reporter
    N-No way!
[17:36] Reporter
    But there was...
[17:38] Scientist
    You're probably just tired.
[17:39] Reporter
    What?! But that boy said...
SIGN    Oni
[17:42] Haruaki
    That was amazing, Ogoso-kun!
[17:44] Fuji
    Is that your youkai magic?
[17:45] Small Old Man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[17:48] Small Old Man
    An amanojaku causes the exact
    opposite thing that a human desires
[17:52] Small Old Man
    to happen and tricks them.
[17:54] Small Old Man
    They can create illusions from lies, too.
[17:58] Haruaki
    By the way, Ogoso-kun,
    are those your everyday clothes?
[18:00] Ogoso
    Er, I'm not sure if I'd call
    them my everyday clothes...
[18:04] Scientist
    Is someone there?
[18:06] Haruaki
    Oh, no! They found us!
[18:08] Haruaki
    In that case...
[18:12] Haruaki
    You... saw me... didn't you?!
[18:25] Haruaki
    Whew... I managed to pull
    off acting like a youkai.
[18:28] Reporter
    I knew it! There are youkai!
[18:30] Scientist
    I-I mean... that startled me,
[18:33] Scientist
    but you see stuff like that in
    haunted houses all the time!
[18:35] Oota
    Then how about this?
[18:39] Oota
    I'm not an illusion, by the way.
[18:41] Reporter
    It's a giant!
[18:44] Oota
    I'm a daidarabocchi!
[18:45] Scientist
    Th-That must be some kind of hologram!
[18:48] Scientist
    I know! Try and touch it!
    That'll prove it's fake...
[18:51] Reporter
    No way! If I touch it and it's
    real, I think I'll get cursed!
[18:55] Reporter
    Huh?
[18:56] Hijita
    Give me back my field...
[19:04] Scientist
    Hey! Don't just faint and
    leave me all alone!
[19:08] Beniko
    What's wrong? It sounds like you're scared.
[19:12] Scientist
    Th-That voice... It's the girl who lives here!
[19:14] Scientist
    Wh-Where are you hiding?
[19:17] Beniko
    Hiding? What are you talking about?
[19:21] Beniko
    We've been standing right beside
    you watching this all play out.
[19:24] Scientist
    "We"?!
[19:40] Beniko
    Let me say it one more time...
[19:43] Beniko
    Do not provoke us youkai.
[19:47] Beniko
    Youkai are always hiding where you can't see.
[19:54] Scientist
    Okay...
[20:04] Reporter
    Man...
[20:06] Reporter
    I was so surprised yesterday.
[20:08] Reporter
    That was the first time
    I'd ever seen a ghost.
[20:11] Reporter
    Thanks to you, I think I'll be
    able to write a great article.
[20:14] Koume
    We're counting on you.
[20:17] Beniko
    Well, four-eyes?
[20:19] Beniko
    Did you encounter any youkai yesterday?
[20:21] Scientist
    No!
[20:22] Scientist
    I know I carelessly said, "Okay,"
    yesterday, but deep down,
[20:25] Scientist
    I refuse to accept the existence of
    something as uncertain as youkai.
[20:29] Beniko
    What?! Do you have some kind of ailment
    where you'll die if you admit you've lost?!
[20:33] Scientist
    No... Just as you said, I peed my
    pants and passed out, so I lost.
[20:41] Beniko
    Huh? You peed yourself?
[20:42] Scientist
    I-I did not! Just... almost...
[20:45] Scientist
    But as I promised, I will write
    a five-star review online.
[20:50] Scientist
    The next time I come, I'm going
    to prove that this inn is a fake,
[20:53] Scientist
    so please be prepared,
[20:55] Scientist
    self-proclaimed Youkai-san.
[20:58] Beniko
    You should be more honest with yourself.
[21:00] Koume
    Come by whenever you want
    to see some youkai again.
[21:04] Kotake
    If you write a crappy article about us,
    I'll sue you for libel and defamation!
[21:09] Haruaki
    Looks like it went well.
[21:11] Matsuo
    Man, thanks so much, everyone.
[21:15] Koume
    You did a great job spooking them.
    You're definitely a professional.
[21:18] Haruaki
    Er, but my usual job doesn't
    involve spooking...
[21:21] Kotake
    Looks like word of our place
    will spread again.
[21:23] Matsuo
    Also, Beniko...
[21:26] Matsuo
    The way you spooked them
    was really awesome!
[21:31] Matsuo
    We're proud to call you our daughter!
[21:36] Kotake
    All right. We're going to treat you
    all to a homemade meal to thank you.
[21:41] Matsuo
    But before that... there's one
    more job for all of you to do.
[21:46] Matsuo
    All right. Let's have you
    clean up the mess you made!
[21:49] All
    What?!
[21:51] Umbrella
    But we didn't make this mess...
[21:54] Fuji
    It was pretty dirty from the start.
[21:56] Oota
    Can I just lift the roof up?
[22:01] Small Old Man
    As for the article...
SIGN    Feature: Supernatural!
    An Inn Where
    Youkai Appear
SIGN    Photo of the male ghost we saw
[22:04] All
    That ain't even us!
[22:07] Haruaki
    I ended up in the article!

Season 1

15 - Abe no Seimei, Haruaki Abe, and Shutendouji

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Heian-kyo, Around 950 AD
[00:01] People
    An oni! It's an oni!
[00:06] Noble 1 (Ranmaru)
    So that's the shutendouji from Mount Ooe.
[00:10] Noble 2 (Principal)
    The slayers haven't arrived yet?
[00:12] Noble 2 (Principal)
    What should we do, Seimei?
[00:14] Seimei
    We have no choice.
[00:16] Seimei
    I'll pacify her myself.
[00:20] Marshmallow
    ...-kun... Seimei-kun.
[00:24] Marshmallow
    Seimei-kun!
[00:25] Haruaki
    Whoa! That startled me!
[00:27] Haruaki
    I thought an emoji had suddenly
    appeared in front of my face.
[00:31] Marshmallow
    You looked really pained.
[00:32] Marshmallow
    Were you dreaming about a
    sailor uniform being burned?
[00:35] Haruaki
    Hmm... I don't really remember.
SIGN    Welcome
[00:39] Haruaki
    Oh, we're almost there!
SIGN    Ooe Town
SIGN    Youkai
    Alley
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[02:13] Haruaki
    I've been coming to Kyoto
    ever since I was little,
SIGN    Episode 15
    "Abe no Seimei, Haruaki Abe,
    and Shutendouji"
[02:17] Haruaki
    but I never would've thought a youkai
    town like this existed in the woods.
[02:21] Marshmallow
    It's a hidden village for youkai.
[02:24] Marshmallow
    But I don't see any humans
    like you, Seimei-kun.
[02:27] Passersby
    A human?
SIGN    Psst... Psst...
SIGN    Psst... Psst...
[02:27] Haruaki
    Huh?
[02:28] Youkai A
    You're right. It's a human.
[02:31] Haruaki
    Huh?
[02:32] Cyclops
    All right! Got some food!
[02:34] Shishimai
    Hey, hand over the soul.
    Human souls are worth a fortune.
[02:38] Haruaki
    These youkai are trying to eat me!
[02:40] Haruaki
    Actually, I'm not a human!
[02:42] Marshmallow
    Yeah. This human's a youkai.
[02:45] Haruaki
    See? My head spins around 720 degrees!
[02:47] Marshmallow
    I'm not sure if that helps anything...
[02:49] Cyclops
    Quit messin' around!
[02:52] Cyclops
    Who the hell're you?
[02:54] Shishimai
    H-Hey, that's the lady from Miki's place.
[02:57] Cyclops
    Huh?
[02:58] Ibara
    Apparently, that human's a guest of mine.
[03:02] Cyclops
    O-Oh, I didn't know this was
    food for Ibarakidouji-sama!
[03:06] Cyclops
    Pardon me!
[03:08] Haruaki
    W-We're saved...
[03:11] Ibara
    You need to be careful. This town is old.
[03:14] Ibara
    There're still plenty of youkai 'round here
[03:16] Ibara
    that're old-fashioned enough
    to think humans are food.
[03:20] Haruaki
    Now I know what Izuna-kun meant
    yesterday on the phone.
[03:24] Hatanaka
    What?! You're going to Rintarou's place?
[03:27] Hatanaka
    Don't die!
[03:28] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Huh? What's that supposed to mean?!
[03:30] Ibara
    You're... Rintarou and Izuna-kun's friend...
[03:34] Ibara
    the human, Haruaki-kun?
[03:37] Haruaki
    Yes!
[03:39] Haruaki
    Are you...
[03:41] Ibara
    I'm Ibara.
[03:43] Ibara
    I'm Rintarou Miki's fifth older sister,
    and I'm the youkai ibarakidouji.
SIGN    Mike's Home
[03:49] Miki
    Heya, Haruaki-kun.
[03:51] Miki
    Thanks for comin' all this way.
[03:53] Haruaki
    No problem! Thanks for inviting me over.
[03:57] Haruaki
    I got you some yatsuhashi.
[03:59] Miki
    Why would you give someone from
    Kyoto souvenirs from Kyoto?
[04:04] Mandragora
    Nom, nom...
[04:05] Ibara
    Well, I'll go make some shaved ice.
[04:08] Marshmallow
    Ice! I'mma go, too!
[04:10] Haruaki
    Oh, don't trouble yourself.
[04:13] Haruaki
    So... what are you plotting by having
    me come over all of a sudden?
[04:18] Miki
    Gulp...
[04:19] Miki
    Oh, don't be like that.
    I just have a small favor to ask.
[04:23] Haruaki
    And that's what people call plotting.
[04:26] Miki
    You see...
[04:28] Miki
    Geh, it's from Izuna-kun.
[04:31] Miki
    One sec. Hello?
[04:33] Miki
    What do you want?
    Things were just gettin' good.
[04:35] Hatanaka
    Haruaki told me he was going
    to your place yesterday.
[04:39] Hatanaka
    What are you plotting?
[04:40] Miki
    Again with the plotting...
    What's with all of you?
[04:47] Haruaki
    What's that? I think I hear something.
[04:54] Shutendouji
    Ah, Rintarou... Is this a new sacrifice?
[05:03] Miki
    Oh, dear. Did you see her already?
[05:07] Miki
    Don't worry. My mother's sealed away here.
[05:11] Miki
    She can't reach you as long as
    you don't go beyond those doors.
[05:15] Haruaki
    That's... y-your mom?!
[05:19] Miki
    Yeah, she just loves men so much...
[05:22] Miki
    She has no trouble eatin' all
    kinds of youkai and humans.
[05:25] Miki
    And she went a bit too far,
    so she got sealed away here.
[05:29] Miki
    Ever since, whenever any
    male youkai come by here,
[05:33] Miki
    we let her feed on their souls
    and their virility a bit.
[05:37] Haruaki
    Wait, so did you call me over
    so she could eat my soul?!
[05:42] Miki
    Oh, come on, now.
[05:44] Miki
    It'll just be a little bit.
    Just your virility will do.
[05:47] Haruaki
    Y-You jerk!
[05:49] Miki
    Actually, I'm kidding.
[05:51] Miki
    I've actually been meanin' to
    ask you this for a while...
[05:55] Miki
    Could you...
[05:56] Miki
    slay her for me?
[05:58] Miki
    With your exorcism powers.
[06:01] Haruaki
    Huh? Uh, what?
[06:03] Miki
    I mean... it's not just the spirit energy
    souls of the youkai that come here.
[06:08] Miki
    She eats my spirit energy,
    even though I'm her son.
[06:11] Miki
    Because of that, I'm completely out
    of spirit energy unless I drink alcohol,
[06:15] Miki
    which I can't even drink.
[06:17] Haruaki
    But... slaying her would be...
[06:20] Miki
    She was actually sealed
    away a thousand years ago
[06:23] Miki
    by an onmyouji who had
    the same powers as you.
[06:27] Miki
    So you need to take responsibility...
[06:30] Miki
    Descendant of Abe no
    Seimei, Haruaki Abe-kun.
[06:34] Haruaki
    But...
[06:36] Miki
    I know! If you do your best,
    I'll get you a little gift.
[06:39] Miki
    Maybe a uniform of your liking.
[06:41] Haruaki
    I'll do my best!
[06:43] Miki
    You sure are a sucker for your desires.
[06:45] Haruaki
    But I'm not like my ancestor!
[06:49] Haruaki
    She's a youkai.
[06:50] Haruaki
    I can't slay a youkai,
    especially my friend's mother!
[06:54] Haruaki
    So I'll take responsibility in my own way
[06:56] Haruaki
    and resolve this peacefully.
[06:59] Haruaki
    All right, Rintarou-kun's mom!
[07:02] Haruaki
    Let's have a peaceful discussion—
[07:05] Shutendouji
    Are you that onmyouji from long ago?
[07:08] Haruaki
    N-No! I just sorta look like him...
[07:12] Haruaki
    I heard that my ancestor sealed you away.
[07:16] Haruaki
    So, uh... to apologize...
[07:18] Haruaki
    Here, have some yatsuhashi.
[07:20] Shutendouji
    Mm, I'm hungry.
[07:22] Shutendouji
    Hand over your heart.
    Or your virility will do, too.
[07:26] Haruaki
    I'm a virgin, so please, no...
[07:29] Shutendouji
    I don't mind carrying a human's
    child every once in a while...
[07:34] Haruaki
    I can't have you underestimating me!
[07:36] Haruaki
    I don't get excited at all by anyone
    who's not wearing a uniform!
[07:39] Haruaki
    No matter what they do!
[07:41] Marshmallow
    U-Uh, there seems to be
    a lot of trouble going on.
[07:44] Marshmallow
    I have to save Seimei-kun.
[07:46] Ibara
    Wait.
[07:47] Ibara
    I have a favor to ask you,
    Marshmallow-chan.
[07:51] Marshmallow
    Hm...
[07:52] Ibara
    I'm countin' on you.
[07:53] Marshmallow
    Roger! Marshmallow Dash!
[07:56] Ibara
    Rintarou.
[07:58] Miki
    Ibara-neechan.
[07:59] Ibara
    I heard what's goin' on.
[08:01] Ibara
    You can't have your friends
    do somethin' like this. Bad!
[08:05] Miki
    What're you talking about?
[08:07] Miki
    I don't have any friends to begin with.
SIGN    Kochin
[08:11] Miki
    I just called him a friend to play along
    with some fool in glasses that I know.
[08:18] Miki
    And this is Haruaki-kun, the descendant
    of Abe no Seimei, who inherited his powers.
[08:25] Miki
    If it weren't for that,
[08:26] Miki
    there's no way I'd get
    along with some human.
[08:31] Ibara
    Rintarou... So you haven't
    let go of the past...
[08:37] Haruaki
    Please don't eat me!
[08:39] Ibara
    Haruaki-kun!
[08:42] Haruaki
    I'm gonna have to use my exorcism powers
    just enough so I don't slay her...
[08:46] Haruaki
    Fantasy sailor uniform power 30%!
[08:52] Haruaki
    I did it!
[08:53] Shutendouji
    What is this?
[08:54] Haruaki
    I, Haruaki, can do it if I try!
[09:01] Haruaki
    Okay, think!
[09:02] Haruaki
    In order to resolve this without
    slaying Rintarou-kun's mom...
[09:07] Ibara
    Haruaki-kun!
[09:09] Ibara
    I'm glad you're safe.
[09:11] Haruaki
    Hup!
[09:14] Ibara
    You should head home while you can.
[09:16] Ibara
    Mother's pretty angry.
[09:18] Haruaki
    Huh? But I have to do
    something about your mom.
[09:21] Haruaki
    I mean, it was my ancestor who...
[09:23] Ibara
    Please! I don't want Rintarou
    losin' another friend.
[09:30] Haruaki
    What do you mean?
[09:33] Ibara
    Just once in the past...
[09:36] Ibara
    Rintarou brought home a human friend.
[09:40] (Flashback) Boy Haruaki
    Wow, so many kimonos!
[09:43] (Flashback) Boy Miki
    Right? These are my favorites!
[09:46] (Flashback) Ibara
    Rintarou!
[09:47] (Flashback) Boy Miki
    My sister's callin' me. I'll be right back.
[09:50] (Flashback) Boy Haruaki
    'Kay.
[09:51] (Flashback) Ibara
    Here're some snacks.
[09:53] (Flashback) Torako
    Wow, it's not like you
    to bring a friend home.
[09:56] (Flashback) Boy Miki
    He said he wanted to see some
    kimonos, so I'm showin' him.
[10:00] (Flashback) Boy Miki
    And... h-he's not my friend...
[10:03] (Flashback) Boy Miki
    Not yet...
[10:05] (Flashback) Shutendouji
    Come here...
[10:11] (Flashback) Torako
    What's that noise?
[10:13] (Flashback) Ibara
    It's coming from Mother's room.
[10:16] (Flashback) Boy Miki
    Oh, no...
[10:21] (Flashback) Shutendouji
    It's been a while since I've had one...
    but human souls taste so foul.
[10:28] (Flashback) Shutendouji
    Say, Rintarou.
[10:31] (Flashback) Shutendouji
    Next time, bring me something better.
[10:35] (Flashback) Ibara
    Rintarou!
[10:36] (Flashback) Torako
    Tch. She finally ended up killin' one.
[10:46] Haruaki
    Wh-What happened to the boy?
[10:49] Ibara
    My eldest sister, Torako-neesan,
    said she dumped him in the woods.
[10:54] Ibara
    But ever since then, Rintarou's only
    been able to interact with others
[10:58] Ibara
    by keeping a certain
    distance away from them.
[11:04] Ibara
    Haruaki-kun, please don't cry.
[11:08] Haruaki
    I also haven't been able to make
    any friends until recently...
[11:12] Haruaki
    So I know how happy he must've felt
    to make a friend for the first time.
[11:17] Haruaki
    So there's just...
[11:19] Haruaki
    There's just nothing sadder...
[11:25] Ibara
    So please... I know you
    got dragged into this,
[11:29] Ibara
    but please continue to be
    friends with Rintarou—
[11:31] Haruaki
    No, I'm not leaving.
[11:34] Haruaki
    Even if Rintarou-kun only got closer to me
[11:36] Haruaki
    because I'm a descendant of Abe no Seimei...
[11:42] Haruaki
    Even then, it's true that he interacted
    with me without being scared,
[11:45] Haruaki
    and that saved me.
[11:50] Ibara
    Haruaki-kun...
[11:51] Haruaki
    Plus, a little while ago...
[11:54] (Flashback) Miki
    So you need to take responsibility...
[11:57] (Flashback) Miki
    Descendant of Abe no
    Seimei, Haruaki Abe-kun.
[12:03] Haruaki
    I could clearly see your
    sincere cry for help.
[12:09] Haruaki
    So...
[12:11] Haruaki
    As planned, I'm going to
    do something about this!
[12:14] Haruaki
    Peacefully!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[12:22] Haruaki
    And so, once again I say, "Hello!"
[12:25] Shutendouji
    Did you really come here
    to be eaten willingly?
[12:29] Haruaki
    My exorcism powers expel a
    youkai's spiritual powers.
[12:32] Haruaki
    So I'll just steal her as much of her spirit
    energy as it takes to weaken her!
[12:36] Haruaki
    Hi-yah!
[12:39] Haruaki
    Huh?
[12:40] Haruaki
    Wait, am I only able to use my exorcism
    powers a set number of times a day?
[12:44] Haruaki
    Just one sec!
[12:46] Haruaki
    I didn't know how I actually worked!
[12:48] Haruaki
    Damn you, Ancestor! You should've
    left me an user manual!
[12:52] Haruaki
    Ibara-san!
[12:53] Ibara
    Mother, please stop this!
    This is Rintarou's friend!
[12:59] Shutendouji
    You delinquent daughter!
[13:03] Ibara
    I-Izuna-kun!
[13:06] Haruaki
    That unrelenting sharpness...
[13:09] Hatanaka
    Hey, you shitty ol' hag!
[13:11] Hatanaka
    What do you think you're doing to my wife?!
[13:14] Ibara
    I-Izuna-kun!
[13:15] Hatanaka
    Are you hurt at all, Ibara-chan?
[13:18] Haruaki
    What?!
[13:20] Haruaki
    Ibara-san, you're Izuna-kun's wife?!
[13:22] Marshmallow
    I definitely figured as much.
[13:25] Haruaki
    Wait, how did he get here?
[13:26] Marshmallow
    Ibara-san asked me to get him.
[13:28] Yanagida
    And then everyone's hero,
    Yanagida, brought them here!
[13:31] Haruaki
    Yanagida-kun!
[13:32] Shutendouji
    Are you done talking?
[13:39] Ibara
    Izuna-kun! Haruaki-kun! Ittan-momen-kun!
[13:42] Shutendouji
    What a nuisance...
[13:44] Shutendouji
    Kamaitachi, I'll be taking all
    of your spirit energy later.
[13:49] Shutendouji
    But I'll start with the appetizer.
[13:52] Miki
    Wait, Mom!
[13:54] Miki
    Please don't! I'll just give you some
    more of my spirit power, so please!
[13:58] Shutendouji
    What's this?
[13:59] Shutendouji
    You seem rather powerless
    compared to Ibara, Rintarou.
[14:03] Shutendouji
    You poor thing. I consumed too
    much of your spirit energy.
[14:07] Shutendouji
    Let's see...
[14:08] Miki
    Stop!
[14:09] Miki
    I said stop!
[14:11] Miki
    He's my... frie—
[14:16] Shutendouji
    Wh-What is this?
[14:18] Shutendouji
    This soul doesn't suit me at all.
[14:20] Shutendouji
    Here. You can have his vessel back.
[14:25] Shutendouji
    I think something like this
    might've happened before.
[14:28] Shutendouji
    Rintarou, the sacrifices you
    bring me always taste so foul.
[14:38] Miki
    This April, he suddenly
    transferred to our school.
[14:43] (Flashback) Haruaki
    N-Nice to meet you all.
[14:45] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I'll be Class 2-3's homeroom
    teacher starting today.
[14:48] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I'm Haruaki Abe... a human.
[14:51] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I-I look forward to working with all of you.
[14:53] Miki
    I found out he was the
    descendant of Abe no Seimei,
[14:56] Miki
    who had a connection with my family...
[14:59] Miki
    So I had always considered
    the fact that his power
[15:01] Miki
    to exorcise demons may come in handy.
[15:05] Miki
    But in reality, he turned out
    to be disappointingly useless.
[15:09] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    I really wish he'd shape up a little.
[15:12] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Not only as a teacher, but as an adult.
[15:14] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    He's definitely not friend material.
[15:17] (Flashback) Miki
    Yeah.
SIGN    Kochin
[15:19] Miki
    Or so I thought...
[15:22] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I was just a little jealous
    of the relationship
[15:25] (Flashback) Haruaki
    between Miki-sensei and Hatanaka-sensei.
[15:30] Miki
    Eventually, I ended up seeing
    a bit of my old self in him,
[15:35] Miki
    and I felt some affinity toward him.
[15:38] Miki
    I guess even though I'm physically an oni,
[15:40] Miki
    my heart just doesn't want
    to fully become one.
[15:42] Miki
    Though I already knew that since
    I couldn't abandon my mother
[15:46] Miki
    and kept giving her my spirit energy.
[15:50] Miki
    Even when that happened...
[15:53] (Flashback) Shutendouji
    I've finally amassed enough power to
    break free from this loathsome seal.
[15:58] (Flashback) Shutendouji
    Just a little more...
[16:01] Miki
    Damn it! She never mentioned her
    seal would break, that stupid hag!
[16:06] Miki
    What should I do?
[16:07] Miki
    I can't waste any time.
[16:09] (Flashback) Miki
    Hello? Haruaki-kun?
[16:11] (Flashback) Miki
    I was just wonderin' how you were doing.
[16:14] Miki
    I'm an oni.
[16:15] (Flashback) Miki
    Oh, hey. Why don't you come
    over to my place sometime?
[16:19] Miki
    Inside and out!
[16:21] Marshmallow
    S-Seimei-kun's soul was eaten!
[16:26] Hatanaka
    Hey... He hasn't died just yet.
[16:29] Hatanaka
    I'll just slice open her stomach
    and get his soul out.
[16:32] Shutendouji
    Oh? Look at you, getting cocky just
    because you cut one of my arms.
[16:40] Miki
    You can stop acting cocky, too!
[16:42] Miki
    Hurry up and return Haruaki-kun's
    soul, you stupid hag!
[16:45] Shutendouji
    Oh, how deplorable.
[16:47] Shutendouji
    How dare you talk to your mother like that?
[16:53] Hatanaka
    Rintarou!
[16:54] Shutendouji
    You must understand, Rintarou...
[16:56] Shutendouji
    I'm just disciplining you.
[16:58] Shutendouji
    This is your mother's love.
[17:01] Miki
    What is this? We're both shutendouji...
[17:05] Miki
    but I don't stand a chance.
[17:08] Miki
    Say, Haruaki-kun...
[17:10] Miki
    I'm so mad...
[17:12] Miki
    In the end, I'm a half-ass who can't
    turn my body and soul into an oni.
[17:17] Ibara
    Rintarou...
[17:20] Marshmallow
    Hey, big lady!
[17:22] Shutendouji
    What is it, little one?
[17:23] Marshmallow
    Eat me!
SIGN    Safety First
SIGN    Safety First
SIGN    Safety First
[17:25] Miki
    Marshmallow...
[17:26] Marshmallow
    Wait for me, Rintarou!
[17:28] Marshmallow
    I'm gonna go in her belly and
    get Haruaki-kun's soul back!
[17:32] Abe no Seimei
    Don't worry. You don't need to do that.
SIGN    Safety First
SIGN    Safety First
SIGN    Safety First
[17:35] Marshmallow
    That voice... Seimei-kun?
SIGN    Safety First
SIGN    Safety First
SIGN    Safety First
[17:40] Abe no Seimei
    Honestly... How many times must you eat
    my soul before you learn your lesson?
[17:44] Hatanaka
    What the? She's suddenly in pain.
[17:47] Shutendouji
    This soul... Don't tell me it's... Again?!
[17:54] Abe no Seimei
    Come now, Haruaki.
    This is no time for sleeping.
[17:58] Abe no Seimei
    Try doing the thing I couldn't accomplish...
[18:01] Abe no Seimei
    but peacefully, okay?
[18:08] Haruaki
    Huh? I...
[18:10] Marshmallow
    Seimei-kun!
[18:10] Yanagida
    Seimei-sensei!
[18:10] Hatanaka/Ibara
    Haruaki-kun!
[18:12] Miki
    Haruaki-kun...
[18:13] Haruaki
    Rintarou-kun, what's wrong?
[18:17] Haruaki
    Don't cry...
[18:18] Haruaki
    Huh?!
[18:19] Miki
    Ow!
[18:20] Haruaki
    My exorcism powers seem to be leaking out!
[18:24] Haruaki
    Why, though?
[18:25] Miki
    We can figure that out later!
[18:27] Miki
    We'll stop my mom's movements!
    You use your exorcism powers!
[18:31] Haruaki
    Aye-aye!
[18:32] Shutendouji
    That's not happening!
[18:36] Shutendouji
    Kamaitachi!
[18:39] Miki
    I'm stopping you for sure this time!
[18:40] Miki
    I'm the great youkai
    shutendouji, just like you!
[18:45] Yanagida
    Seimei-sensei! Now's your chance!
[18:48] Haruaki
    Thanks! Hup!
[18:49] Yanagida
    I feel dizzy all of a sudden...
[18:53] Haruaki
    Right now, I should be able to use more
    of my exorcism powers than usual.
[18:57] Haruaki
    Come forth, exorcism powers!
[19:06] Shutendouji
    You insolent fool!
[19:08] Haruaki
    Yikes! That's way more
    power than I thought!
[19:11] Haruaki
    But at this rate, I'll end
    up exorcising everyone!
[19:13] Haruaki
    I know!
[19:15] Haruaki
    Everyone!
[19:16] Haruaki
    I need you all to insult me!
[19:18] Haruaki
    I can't tweak these powers on my own!
[19:21] Haruaki
    By the way, I'm used to being
    called stupid, trash, and garbage,
[19:24] Haruaki
    so anything besides that!
[19:25] Hatanaka
    Uh... I can't think of anything now
    that you've put me on the spot!
[19:29] Miki
    Have any of you been watching
    Haruaki-kun up until now?
[19:32] Hatanaka
    Rintarou...
[19:34] Miki
    Haruaki-kun!
[19:35] Miki
    The principal said he's gonna
    get rid of uniforms next year!
[19:40] Haruaki
    Huh?
[19:43] Haruaki
    It's a lot smaller now!
[19:45] Haruaki
    This will finally bring this
    thousand-year grudge to an end!
[19:49] Haruaki
    I'll make sure Rintarou-kun
    won't ever have to cry again!
[20:02] Hatanaka
    Haruaki!
[20:06] Hatanaka
    Are you all right?
[20:07] Haruaki
    Y-Yeah, somehow...
[20:12] Hatanaka
    You're insane. I can feel my spirit
    powers draining just by touching you.
[20:16] Haruaki
    Whoa, sorry!
[20:17] Haruaki
    Man, how do I stop this?
[20:20] Marshmallow
    Seimei-kun!
[20:20] Marshmallow
    You dropped your trademark beads.
[20:22] Haruaki
    Oh, thanks!
[20:24] Haruaki
    Thank goodness I didn't lose them.
[20:26] Haruaki
    Dad told me to always keep this on...
[20:29] Haruaki
    Hey, wait...
[20:31] Marshmallow
    Seimei-kun!
[20:32] Hatanaka
    Are you all right?
[20:33] Haruaki
    I suddenly just felt all
    my strength leave me.
[20:36] Hatanaka
    Looks like your exorcism powers stopped, too.
[20:39] Haruaki
    Really? Thank goodness.
[20:41] Mandragora
    Begone, evil spirits!
[20:43] Hatanaka
    Ibara-chan, what happened to Shutendouji?
[20:46] Ibara
    Well...
[20:47] Ibara
    It's not just her spirit power... I think she
    lost most of her powers as a youkai, as well.
[20:52] Ibara
    She's not really a shutendouji anymore.
[20:54] Ibara
    She's more like just a tiny ko-oni now.
[20:58] Haruaki
    Rintarou-kun!
[21:00] Haruaki
    Just as I promised, I settled it peacefully.
[21:05] Hatanaka
    Rintarou, I'm sure you have something to say.
[21:08] Miki
    You pushover!
[21:09] Miki
    You could've actually died!
    Why aren't you getting mad?
[21:13] Hatanaka
    Let me translate that. "I'm sorry."
[21:17] Miki
    I-I didn't say that.
[21:19] Miki
    It's "Thank you."
[21:24] Haruaki
    Up until now, it felt like I was
    just sort of your friend.
[21:31] Haruaki
    So this time... Please
    officially become my friend.
[21:37] Miki
    You really, truly are... such a pushover.
SIGN    15 Years Ago
[23:18] (Flashback) Torako
    I'm so sorry, human child.
[23:21] (Flashback) Torako
    Don't go interacting with
    youkai in your next life.
[23:25] Abe no Seimei
    Goodness...
[23:27] Abe no Seimei
    To think I'd still have a connection with
    Shutendouji even after being reincarnated.
[23:32] (Flashback) Boy Haruaki
    That was a nice nap... Huh? What is this?
[23:36] (Flashback) Boy Haruaki
    Huh?
[23:37] (Flashback) Boy Haruaki
    What am I doing here?
[23:40] (Flashback) Boy Haruaki
    I made friends with a boy my age,
[23:43] (Flashback) Boy Haruaki
    and my memories after that are all fuzzy.
[23:46] (Flashback) Boy Haruaki
    Come to think of it... that kid with the
    giant lump on his head was so pretty!
[23:51] (Flashback) Boy Haruaki
    I hope we can become friends
    if I ever see him again!

Season 1

16 - The Great Hyakki Academy Island Chase!!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Small Old Man
    Sometimes, he's Takahashi-sensei
    from Hyakki Academy.
[00:06] Small Old Man
    Sometimes, he's Yanagida-kun,
    the ittan-momen.
[00:11] Small Old Man
    And sometimes, he's Rensuke
    Nyuudou, the cyclops.
[00:15] Small Old Man
    But his true identity...
[00:18] Small Old Man
    is the police officer who keeps
    Hyakki Academy Island safe...
[00:22] Small Old Man
    The doppelganger, Yamazaki-san!
[00:27] Small Old Man
    He works daily to keep the island safe!
[00:33] Small Old Man
    And today's story features Yamazaki-san!
[00:39] Yamazaki
    Hold it!
[00:52] Yamazaki
    Hold it!
[00:55] Teketeke
    What kind of idiot actually waits
    when someone tells them to "hold it"?
[01:02] Yamazaki
    Damn it!
[01:03] Mandragora Cop A
    Yamazaki-san, what happened to the guy?
[01:06] Yamazaki
    Looks like he went into the school.
[01:08] Mandragora Cop A
    Oh, no!
[01:10] Mandragora Cop B
    That place is connected to all
    kinds of places across Japan!
[01:13] Mandragora Cop B
    He's gonna get away!
[01:16] Yamazaki
    Don't worry.
[01:18] Yamazaki
    If there's a villain who disturbs the peace,
[01:21] Yamazaki
    I will chase them down to
    the ends of the earth.
[01:24] Mandragora Cop A
    He's now a wanted criminal!
[01:26] Mandragora Cop A
    If you find him, you'll get 100 trillion yen!
[01:27] Mandragora Cop B
    That's like the national budget.
[01:29] Yamazaki
    If he underestimates me, thinking I'm
    just some island cop, he'll regret it.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Episode 16
    "The Great Hyakki
    Academy Island Chase!!"
SIGN    Laze
SIGN    Super Cute
    Uniform
    Encyclopedia
SIGN    Super Cute
    Uniform
    Encyclopedia
SIGN    Haruaki
SIGN    Laze
[03:13] Haruaki
    The incident at Rintarou-kun's place got
    resolved, so I'm just gonna laze around today.
[03:21] Haruaki
    No, wait. It's summer vacation.
[03:24] Haruaki
    I need to take this chance to talk to
    the uniforms so we can grow closer...
[03:29] Haruaki
    A visitor?
[03:31] Haruaki
    Mom! Are you around?
[03:35] Haruaki
    Hello! Who's...
[03:40] Haruaki
    I'm not home.
[03:41] Miki
    Oh, dear. Well, that's a rather brazen lie.
[03:49] Haruaki
    Those are Izuna-kun's kids?
[03:53] Haruaki
    But why are you with them, Rintarou-kun?
[03:56] Miki
    They said Ibara-neechan's not feeling well,
    so they were gonna take her to the hospital.
SIGN    Thanks.
SIGN    –Hatanaka
[04:02] Miki
    And they dumped them on me.
[04:05] Miki
    Honestly... Izuna-kun sure doesn't
    know how to ask for favors.
[04:08] Miki
    So, yeah. Help me babysit them.
[04:11] Haruaki
    What?! Why me?
[04:14] Miki
    Okay, you little runts. Gather round.
[04:17] Kamae
    Busy now.
[04:18] Miki
    Want some treats?
SIGN    Slide
SIGN    Slide
[04:21] Miki
    That's right. I love kids
    who know how to behave.
[04:25] Miki
    All right, go ahead and introduce
    yourselves to this old guy here.
[04:29] Haruaki
    If I'm an old guy, so are you!
[04:32] Miki
    Let's start with Big Sis.
[04:34] Saki
    I'm Saki Hatanaka and I'm six years old!
[04:36] Saki
    My type is someone who makes
    ten million yen a year.
[04:40] Haruaki
    W-Wow, you're a bit precocious, aren't you?
[04:43] Haruaki
    Are you also a kamaitachi?
[04:45] Saki
    Nope, I'm not.
[04:47] Saki
    I'm an oni just like Mommy.
[04:50] Saki
    That's why I'm really strong.
[04:52] Saki
    So...
[04:54] Saki
    If you look at me like some creeper,
[04:57] Saki
    don't expect to see the
    light of day tomorrow,
[05:00] Saki
    you lolicon!
[05:01] Haruaki
    Uh, I'm not a lolicon!
[05:03] Haruaki
    Only call me that if I actually look like one!
[05:05] Haruaki
    Not that I would ever do that!
[05:06] Saki
    My two little brothers are kamaitachi.
SIGN    Kamae
SIGN    Taichi
[05:09] Saki
    The older one is Kamae,
    and the younger one is Taichi.
SIGN    No. 1
SIGN    No. 2
[05:13] Both
    And together, we're Kamaitachi!
[05:16] Saki
    I call them Little Bro No. 1 and
    Little Bro No. 2 because it's easier.
[05:20] Kamae
    Hey, let's play!
[05:23] Haruaki
    Huh? Sure. What did you want to play?
[05:25] Kamae
    Let's play RPG!
[05:28] Kamae
    Curse you, Demon King! I'll defeat you!
[05:31] Kamae
    Swoosh!
SIGN    Kamae
SIGN    m 0 0 l 50 0 50 8 0 8
SIGN    Max HP
    Max MP
    Attack Magic
    Healing Magic
    Strength
    Defense
    Agility
    Versatility
SIGN    m 0 0 l 60 0 64 50 0 50
[05:35] Miki
    Curse that stupid four-eyes...
[05:37] Miki
    The hell is he teachin' these kids?
[05:49] Saki
    I wonder what this room is.
[06:00] Kamae
    Vroom, vroom, vroom...
[06:03] Haruaki
    H-Hey, let's play some other game.
SIGN    Stranger Danger Buzzer
[06:08] Haruaki
    Oh, Saki-chan.
[06:10] Haruaki
    Did you wander off somewhere?
[06:12] Haruaki
    Did you go... to my room?
[06:14] Saki
    Come any closer and I'm gonna
    push my stranger danger buzzer!
SIGN    Stranger
    Danger
    Buzzer
[06:17] Saki
    You perv!
[06:18] Haruaki
    A perv?! How?!
[06:20] Saki
    What do you plan to do with all those
    uniforms you have on your walls?!
[06:23] Haruaki
    What am I going to do? Why, that room
    just belongs to all of the uniforms!
[06:29] Saki
    Little Bro No. 1!
[06:31] Saki
    Beat down this perv!
[06:33] Kamae
    Begone!
SIGN    Kamae
SIGN    m 0 0 l 50 0 50 8 0 8
SIGN    Max HP
    Max MP
    Attack Magic
    Healing Magic
    Strength
    Defense
    Agility
    Versatility
SIGN    m 0 0 l 60 0 64 50 0 50
[06:36] Kamae
    Swoosh.
[06:40] Miki
    Ow...
[06:40] Kamae
    I defeated the Pervy Demon King!
[06:43] Haruaki
    S-Sa...
[06:43] Kamae
    Yay! Yay! Yay!
[06:45] Miki
    Sa?
[06:45] Haruaki
    Sano-kun!
[06:49] Sano
    Man, what's with all the racket?
[06:51] Haruaki
    I-Izuna-kun's ki... kids...
[06:55] Haruaki
    Th-They called me a perv!
[06:58] Sano
    I mean, it's true.
[07:02] Mandragora
    Uppercut!
[07:04] Miki
    It's a relief to have you
    help us out, Sano-kun.
[07:04] Kamae
    Wait up!
[07:08] Kamae
    Wait up!
[07:09] Miki
    Those little runts will play
    until they're outta gas,
[07:12] Miki
    so we adults really can't keep up.
[07:14] Sano
    You're totally planning on
    slacking off, aren't you?
[07:17] Miki
    I see your habit of saying exactly what's on
    your mind hasn't changed since last year.
[07:23] Miki
    Keep that up, and you're gonna
    lose out when you're older.
[07:27] Haruaki
    Well, that's part of Sano-kun's charm, too.
[07:30] Sano
    What?
[07:31] Sano
    Quit acting like some good adult,
    you perv with a uniform fetish.
[07:35] Haruaki
    Why am I getting dragged into it?!
[07:38] Teketeke
    I somehow managed to escape...
[07:40] Kamae
    Hey!
[07:41] Kamae
    What's this giant house?
[07:44] Haruaki
    You can't go in there!
[07:46] Haruaki
    That's called a storehouse, and it's
    got a lot of valuable things inside.
[07:51] Saki
    A storehouse, you say?
[07:53] Saki
    Maybe he's wealthy after all.
[07:55] Haruaki
    Anyway, there are a lot of valuable
    and important things in there,
[08:00] Haruaki
    so don't go near it, okay?
[08:02] Teketeke
    Valuable and important things, eh?
[08:05] Mandragora
    You're under arrest!
[08:07] Kamae
    Hey, old guy!
[08:09] Miki
    Can Big Brother help you?
[08:12] Kamae
    I'm hungry. I wanna eat something.
[08:15] Miki
    Well, I guess it is lunchtime.
[08:18] Haruaki
    Want me to make something?
[08:19] Miki
    Huh? You can cook?
[08:22] Haruaki
    If it's like instant noodles, yeah.
[08:24] Miki
    That's not called cooking.
[08:25] Haruaki
    H-Hey, don't judge! Then what
    about you, Rintarou-kun?
[08:29] Saki
    Oh? Little Bro No.1 and 2 aren't here.
[08:34] Haruaki
    What?! Don't tell me they
    went into the storehouse!
[08:37] Sano
    No! Look over there!
[08:40] Kamae
    Hup, hup...
[08:42] Haruaki
    Oh, no! They're heading out!
[08:44] Saki
    Let's go after them!
[08:46] Kamae
    Let's go play outside.
[08:56] Kamae
    Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
[08:58] Saki
    Number 1?!
[08:59] Haruaki
    What's the matter?
[09:00] Kamae
    Little Bro No. 2 got taken
    away by some grandpa!
[09:04] Haruaki
    Some grandpa? Like my neighbor?
[09:07] Sano
    Wait, was he found in his kamaitachi form?
[09:10] Sano
    That's not good.
[09:11] Miki
    It's a crime for a youkai be seen
    in their usual forms by humans.
[09:16] Haruaki
    That's not good!
[09:17] Sano
    Yeah, I just said that.
[09:19] Haruaki
    No, I mean, my neighbor is...
[09:24] Neighbor
    We're having weasel hot pot tonight!
[09:30] Haruaki
    ...a guy who'll eat anything!
[09:36] Miki
    No, no, no!
[09:38] Haruaki
    Pardon me!
[09:39] Saki
    Little Bro No. 2!
[09:41] Kamae
    Number 2!
[09:42] Haruaki
    I know! Now's the time for...
[09:45] Sano
    ...the power of a yakubyougami!
[09:58] Sano
    Sorry. Since this was so sudden,
    this was the best I could do.
[10:03] Haruaki
    You didn't mean that apology at all!
[10:05] Haruaki
    Minus one point!
[10:12] Haruaki
    N-Number 2!
[10:15] Miki
    No, no, no, no!
[10:28] Haruaki
    Please make it in time!
[10:34] Neighbor
    Aiyah...
[10:36] Haruaki and Miki
    That's hot!
SIGN    That's hot!
[10:40] Taichi
    Swoosh.
[10:41] Small Old Man
    Ten points!
[10:42] Saki
    That was amazing, Little Bro No. 2!
[10:43] Saki
    Nice sickle!
[10:44] Kamae
    Wow! That was so cool!
[10:46] Saki
    Thank goodness! It looks like you're okay.
[10:49] Sano
    These two sure aren't.
[10:53] Neighbor
    You're...
[10:55] Neighbor
    Ain't you Haruaki-kun from next door?
[10:59] Haruaki
    This is our weasel. Sorry for the trouble!
[11:03] Mandragora
    Scadaddly doo!
[11:05] Haruaki
    Thank goodness he was safe.
[11:07] Saki
    Jeez. It's okay to cause trouble, but you
    can't go outside without permission!
[11:12] Miki
    Could you maybe not cause
    any trouble, either?
[11:16] Amaaki
    Who the hell are you?!
[11:19] Haruaki
    Ame?
[11:21] Haruaki
    What's wrong? What're you shouting for?
[11:24] Haruaki
    Weren't you helping out at the shrine today?
[11:26] Amaaki
    Haru! Look up there!
[11:31] Haruaki
    A-A-A robber?!
[11:33] Amaaki
    He ransacked the storehouse and
    is tryin' to make off with the loot!
[11:36] Yamazaki
    Give yourself up, Bandit Teketeke!
[11:46] Amaaki
    A y-y-y-y-y-y-youkai?!
[11:51] Haruaki
    Yamazaki-san?!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[12:01] Yamazaki
    Surrender right now, Bandit Teketeke!
[12:04] Teketeke
    You never give up, huh?
[12:06] Teketeke
    Just try an' catch me!
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[12:13] Small Old Man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
[12:15] Small Old Man
    Teketeke.
[12:16] Small Old Man
    A youkai missing the lower half of its body.
[12:18] Small Old Man
    It uses its two hands to
    move at incredible speeds.
[12:22] Amaaki
    So it is a youkai!
[12:26] Sano
    Why didja have to fall toward me?
[12:31] Teketeke
    I can't wait to see what's inside!
[12:35] Haruaki
    That's our family heirloom!
[12:37] Sano
    Is it important?
[12:38] Haruaki
    It's super valuable!
[12:40] Haruaki
    I'm not gonna let you steal that!
[12:42] Haruaki
    Give it back!
[12:44] Teketeke
    Guess this must be really valuable.
[12:46] Teketeke
    I'll happily take it off your hands, then!
[12:50] Yamazaki
    Hold it!
[12:52] Miki
    They've been chasin' him all
    the way from the island?
[12:55] Miki
    Yamazaki-san sure is dedicated.
[13:01] Mandragora Cop A
    That's because Yamazaki-san
    is a hero of justice.
[13:04] Mandragora Cop B
    Are any of you hurt?
[13:06] Mandragora Cop B
    Did he take anything else?
[13:08] Kamae
    Police officers!
[13:10] Kamae
    So cool!
[13:11] Mandragora Cop A
    Our job is to protect the people!
[13:15] Mandragora Cop B
    If you have any questions
    or concerns, let us know.
[13:19] Saki
    So how much do you guys make in a year?
[13:24] Miki
    Well, I guess that is important.
[13:27] Haruaki
    I'm not sure if I can say she's got a
    good head on her shoulders or not...
SIGN    Menacing
[13:32] Mandragora Cop A
    What a mighty fine storehouse!
[13:35] Mandragora Cop A
    Er...
[13:38] Mandragora Cop A
    So, a murder took place here...
[13:41] Haruaki
    Not at all! We just said we got robbed!
[13:48] Haruaki
    Could you check out the
    crime scene properly, please?
[13:50] Haruaki
    Do your job!
[13:51] Mandragora Cop A
    Okey.
[13:53] Mandragora Cop B
    All right, let's have a look-see.
[13:55] Mandragora Cop B
    Well, dang. This place got
    messed up real good.
[13:59] Mandragora Cop A
    Well, let's see...
[14:05] Mandragora Cop B
    Man, he got this place good.
[14:08] Mandragora Cop A
    Let's see... Did the robber
    leave anything behind?
[14:13] Yamazaki
    This is Yamazaki!
[14:14] Yamazaki
    I'm having difficulty pursuing Teketeke!
    He's reached the city center!
[14:17] Yamazaki
    Requesting backup!
[14:19] Mandragora Cop A
    We can't just sit around here!
[14:20] Mandragora Cop B
    We need to go after Teketeke, too!
[14:23] Haruaki
    I guess he's having trouble...
[14:25] Mandragora Cop A
    Hey, cop car!
[14:32] Mandragora Cop A
    Don't you worry!
[14:33] Mandragora Cop B
    Leave this case to us!
[14:36] Haruaki
    I'll go after the thief, too!
[14:38] Miki
    You're being awfully proactive.
[14:40] Haruaki
    I mean, he took something
    from the storehouse!
[14:43] Haruaki
    I can't just stand here and do nothing!
[14:48] Haruaki
    Ow...
[14:51] Haruaki
    My foot got caught on... Wait, what?!
[14:54] Kamae
    You're under arrest!
[14:57] Sano
    Why do I have to be stuck
    with him, of all people?
[15:01] Haruaki
    You shouldn't play with handcuffs!
[15:04] Miki
    The keys to those should be somewhere.
[15:06] Miki
    So for now, let's just wait patiently
    until the officers get back.
[15:11] Haruaki
    No, let's go!
[15:13] Haruaki
    With how fast Sano-kun and I are,
[15:15] Haruaki
    I'm sure we'll be able to catch the robber!
[15:18] Sano
    Damn it. Fine. Let's go.
[15:22] Sano
    We're doing this
    three-legged race style.
[15:24] Haruaki
    Yeah! I'm sure we'll be perfectly in sync.
[15:27] Sano
    Okay, right leg first.
[15:28] Haruaki
    Okay! Ready, and...
SIGN    Flop
SIGN    Flop
SIGN    Flop
SIGN    Flop
SIGN    Flop
SIGN    Flop
[15:32] Sano
    The hell are you doing, you idiot?!
[15:34] Haruaki
    You said to start with the right!
[15:36] Sano
    I meant my right leg!
[15:38] Haruaki
    You weren't clear!
[15:40] Haruaki
    Minus five points!
[15:42] Sano
    Shut up with that minus crap!
[15:44] Haruaki
    Come on! One more time!
[15:45] Haruaki
    We're starting with the left this time!
[15:46] Sano
    We're starting with my left!
[15:47] Amaaki
    How the hell is that in sync?
[15:50] Miki
    We're gettin' nowhere.
[15:52] Yamazaki
    Hold it!
[15:54] Teketeke
    You're too slow!
[15:58] Yamazaki
    How dare he take a route
    where he'd get noticed?!
[16:00] Yamazaki
    I need to catch him fast!
[16:03] Yamazaki
    You must surrender!
[16:05] Yamazaki
    Being seen by a human in your
    youkai form is against the law!
[16:10] Yamazaki
    Don't make this worse for you!
[16:12] Teketeke
    As long as you don't catch me,
    I win! I'm outta here!
[16:17] Yamazaki
    Damn it! I'm not gonna catch him!
[16:20] Yamazaki
    I need to think of a plan!
[16:22] Teketeke
    See ya, loser!
[16:24] Sano; Haruaki
    One, two. One, two. One, two. One, two.
[16:33] Haruaki
    All right! We caught up with
    you, storehouse robber!
[16:36] Teketeke
    Who the hell are you guys?
    What kind of youkai are you?
[16:38] Haruaki
    I'm a human!
[16:39] Sano
    And I'm a yakubyougami!
[16:40] Teketeke
    Then I'll just climb back up and...
[16:44] Mandragora Cop A
    Where is he?!
[16:47] Teketeke
    Tch!
[16:48] Haruaki
    You're not getting away!
[16:49] Sano
    Just get caught by the cops already.
[16:51] Teketeke
    Heh! You ain't no coppers!
    What can you even do?
[16:55] Haruaki
    We can at least stall you!
[16:56] Both
    Take this!
[16:58] Haruaki
    My...
[16:59] Sano
    My...
[16:59] Haruaki
    Power to exorcise demons!
[17:01] Sano
    Youkai magic!
[17:14] Haruaki
    Sorry! I still can't control my powers!
[17:20] Sano
    Sadly, neither can I.
[17:22] Amaaki
    Haru!
[17:26] Amaaki
    Are you all right, Haru?
[17:27] Haruaki
    Ame! What are you doing here?
    It's dangerous! Get back!
[17:31] Amaaki
    I came because I was worried.
[17:35] Amaaki
    Eek! A youkai!
[17:37] Teketeke
    I knew it. You're scared
    of youkai, aren't ya?
[17:40] Haruaki
    Don't, Ame! Get out of here now!
[17:44] Teketeke
    Looks like God's on my side!
[17:49] Teketeke
    Hey, weirdos! If you want
    this guy to live, step back!
[17:54] Sano
    Damn it... Is there nothing we can do?
[17:59] Amaaki
    Actually... Since you stalled him for me...
[18:02] Teketeke
    Eh? Huh?!
[18:08] Amaaki
    I was able to corner this thief!
[18:12] Teketeke
    Wh-Who the hell are you?!
[18:18] Yamazaki
    The youkai police!
[18:20] Sano
    That's...
[18:21] Haruaki
    Yamazaki-san!
[18:23] Teketeke
    Damn it! You're a copper! Let go of me!
[18:27] Yamazaki
    Don't go underestimating...
[18:31] Yamazaki
    a police officer!
[18:37] Yamazaki
    14:33...
[18:41] Yamazaki
    The perp has been captured.
[18:45] Mandragora Cop A
    And that's that!
[18:48] Sano
    That sucked.
[18:50] Haruaki
    Sorry about that, Sano-kun.
[18:51] Sano
    Eh, we gotta look out
    for each other, I guess.
[18:54] Yamazaki
    Well... I was able to capture
    the thief thanks to you two.
[19:00] Yamazaki
    Thank you.
[19:01] Mandragora Cop B
    Go on, get in there.
[19:03] Teketeke
    Boo...
[19:05] Yamazaki
    Sorry about that, Abe-sensei.
[19:07] Yamazaki
    It must've been surprising when
    I borrowed your brother's form.
[19:10] Haruaki
    Oh! It's fine!
[19:12] Haruaki
    I actually had a feeling
    that something was off.
[19:15] Sano
    I'm surprised you knew.
[19:16] Haruaki
    Well, he is my older brother.
[19:19] Yamazaki
    I saw him get rather scared around Teketeke,
[19:22] Yamazaki
    so I thought I could use
    that to get his guard down.
[19:25] Haruaki
    I see. You really are a great
    doppelganger police officer.
[19:30] Yamazaki
    Let me know if you ever
    need anything, Abe-sensei!
[19:35] Yamazaki
    Here's this back.
    It's important to you, right?
[19:38] Haruaki
    Yes! Thank you very much!
[19:43] Haruaki
    I'm home!
[19:45] Hatanaka
    Hey.
[19:46] Haruaki
    Izuna-kun! You came to get the kids!
[19:50] Hatanaka
    Sorry. Sounds like you went
    through a lot of trouble.
[19:54] Hatanaka
    Let me make it up to you sometime.
[19:56] Haruaki
    Really? Then let's go out somewhere...
[20:00] Haruaki
    Oh, yeah. Is Ibara-san okay?
[20:04] Hatanaka
    Er, well...
[20:06] Hatanaka
    I took her to the hospital, and...
[20:10] Hatanaka
    It looks like our fourth kid is on the way.
[20:13] Kamae
    Really?!
[20:14] Hatanaka
    Yup, really!
[20:16] Saki
    Yay! Keep it up until we have
    our own baseball team, Daddy!
[20:22] Hatanaka
    I'll make two teams so we
    can all play each other!
SIGN    That's
    18
[20:27] Hatanaka
    So, yeah. Once our fourth gets big enough,
    I hope you'll play with them, too.
[20:33] Both
    Wha?
[20:34] Sano
    So what's in this thing, anyway?
[20:38] Haruaki
    What? Are you curious?
[20:40] Haruaki
    Oh, if you insist.
[20:42] Haruaki
    I guess I'll be nice and show you.
[20:55] Haruaki
    Ta-da! The thing inside...
[20:59] Haruaki
    was a limited-edition golden nurse uniform!
[21:09] Saki
    He really is a perv!
[21:12] Saki
    You perv! You perv! You perv! You perv!
[21:16] Sano
    Don't put something like that
    in your damn storehouse!
[21:18] Hatanaka
    You'll rot my kids' heads!
[21:20] Miki
    The hell is the purpose of that?!
[21:22] Haruaki
    Aw, man... Why are you guys
    treating me like this?
[21:27] All
    Because you're a perv!
[21:32] Small Old Man
    After that, Yamazaki-san was...
[21:35] Yamazaki
    For crying out loud...
[21:36] Yamazaki
    I'm a police officer, but I ended up showing
    my youkai form in front of humans...
[21:41] Yamazaki
    How pathetic.
[21:44] Takahashi
    Is that your written apology?
    I've never seen you fill one out.
[21:47] Yamazaki
    Shut up. It's my first time writing one.
[21:51] Takahashi
    Anyway, it's rare for you to get so worked up.
[21:56] Yamazaki
    It's to protect the peace on our island.
[21:59] Yamazaki
    I am one of Hyakki Academy Island's
    police officers, after all!

Season 1

17 - Summer! The Ocean! Huh? It's Already August 31st...

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Hijita
    Yeah!
[00:02] Hijita
    Blue seas! White beaches!
[00:05] Hijita
    The blazing sun shining down on us!
[00:07] Hijita
    We've finally arrived! The summer sea!
[00:10] Hijita
    But we're not here for the sea.
[00:14] Sano
    Wait, weren't you guys going
    to do some fishing?
[00:17] Sano
    Where's your gear?
[00:18] Hijita
    Yeah! We've got our lure ready.
[00:22] Sano
    You seem excited.
[00:25] Mamekichi
    If you catch any, share them with us.
[00:27] Hijita
    But of course!
[00:29] Hijita
    That's right... What we're here for...
[00:32] Girls
    Oh, no!
[00:32] Hijita
    is to get us some beachside babes
    using a lure named Sano!
[00:37] Hijita
    ...using a lure named Sano!
SIGN    Splash
[00:39] Hijita
    ...using a lure named Sano!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Episode 17
    "Summer! The Ocean! Huh?
    It's already August 31st..."
[02:13] Hijita
    Oh, come on, you two.
[02:16] Hijita
    Why are you playing in this
    tucked-away corner of the beach?
[02:19] Hijita
    You need to head more toward
    the center of the beach.
[02:25] Mamekichi
    Sano-kun, let's hurry up and build this.
[02:27] Sano
    Yeah.
[02:28] Girl Yokai
    Hey there.
[02:31] Hijita
    Oh? Looks like we've got a bite.
[02:34] Tamao
    Must be nice being a hot guy.
[02:36] Girl Yokai 1
    What are you making?
[02:38] Sano
    A tanuki.
[02:39] Girl Yokai 2
    So cute! Can we take a
    pic and put it online?
[02:42] Sano
    What? You're putting it online?
    Then we'll need to up the quality.
[02:47] Hijita
    All right, now!
[02:49] Guys
    We're these guys' friends!
[02:52] Girl Yokai 2
    Oh, okay. Then we'd like to help, too.
[02:54] Mamekichi
    Hey.
[02:55] Mamekichi
    What d'you think you're doing,
    tryin' to seduce my Sano-kun, lady?
[03:00] Girl yokais
    S-Sorry about that!
[03:02] Hijita
    Aw, man! They caught the fish and let them go!
[03:06] Tamao
    His darkness is deep.
[03:08] Mamekichi
    Those girls aren't your
    type, are they, Sano-kun?
[03:11] Mamekichi
    You like tanukis, right?
[03:14] Mamekichi
    Did you see those boobs?
[03:16] Mamekichi
    They weren't fluffy at all.
    They were all bouncy.
[03:20] Sano
    Yeah, I guess I like fluffy tanukis more.
[03:25] Hijita
    Man, Sano's overbearing
    tanuki is gonna be an issue.
[03:28] Mujina
    We're not gonna be able to use Sano
    as long as that tanuki's around.
[03:30] Maeda
    You dummy! You want bouncy! Not fluffy!
[03:33] Toubyou
    We've immediately lost our secret weapon.
[03:37] Kuniko
    Huh? You boys came to the beach, too?
[03:44] All
    Wow!
[03:46] Marilyn
    Hey, the boys are looking
    at us with lewd eyes.
[03:49] Daisy
    Oh, jeez. I guess they're
    going through puberty.
[03:52] Hijita
    We aren't looking at you. Why are you even
    hiding bits you don't usually hide?
[03:56] Beniko
    Hey, Hijita.
[03:58] Hijita
    That voice...
[03:59] Hijita
    Beni-cha—
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
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SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
SIGN    Zashiki
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[04:03] Boys
    Oh...
[04:05] Hijita
    What's with that getup?
[04:06] Beniko
    I'm about to go catch some fish,
    so I prioritized functionality.
[04:10] Beniko
    We're gonna be dining on shark fin tonight!
[04:13] Hijita
    You're gonna catch a shark?!
[04:15] Marilyn
    By the way, why aren't you going in the water?
[04:18] Fuji
    We've been trying to pick up
    some girls around here.
[04:21] Boys
    You idiot! Don't tell them, Fuji!
[04:23] Marilyn
    That's what you were doing?
[04:26] Daisy
    Ugh, you're the worst.
[04:27] Kuniko; Momoyama
    Does that mean...
[04:28] Kuniko
    Nyuudou-kun, too?
[04:28] Momoyama
    Sano-kun, too?!
[04:29] Kuniko; Momoyama
    Shock!
SIGN    Shock
[04:31] Marilyn
    Let's ignore those dumb
    boys and go swimming.
[04:34] Boy
    Hey! Wait!
[04:36] Renjou
    I'm disappointed in you, Nyuudou.
[04:39] Renjou
    I guess I can't trust you with Kuniko after all.
[04:42] Nyuudou
    Huh? Renjou, what do you mean by that?
[04:48] Tamao
    Oh, no! My chance to finally talk to some girls!
[04:52] Mujina
    I mean, most of the girls in our
    class already have someone.
[04:56] Mujina
    Right, Nyuudou?
[04:57] Nyuudou
    Seriously, why do you all keep asking me?
[05:00] Fuji
    Oh, fine.
[05:02] Fuji
    I'll go talk to a few of the girls around here.
[05:05] Maeda
    Whoa, really, Fuji?
SIGN    Fire
[05:07] Odawara
    You have some expert technique?
SIGN    Fire
[05:09] Odawara
    Oh, also, did you cut your hair?
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
[05:11] Fuji
    I usually wear extensions.
[05:14] Hijita
    Well, anyway, now we finally...
[05:17] Guy
    Hey there, miss...
[05:18] Hijita
    Beniko?
[05:19] Hijita
    Wait, are they hitting on her?
[05:22] Guy
    Right over there...
[05:29] Hijita
    Hey!
[05:30] Hijita
    Who do you think you are,
    talking to my Beniko?!
[05:33] Hijita
    And why're you going with them?
[05:36] Beniko
    Apparently, I can't go with you guys,
    so I guess I'll just explain it.
[05:41] Beniko
    Turn at that beach hut,
    then go three beach huts down,
[05:45] Beniko
    and inside the beach hut across
    from the beach hut next door,
[05:48] Beniko
    you'll find a private...
[05:50] Hijita
    Private...?
[05:51] Beniko
    ...men's bathroom.
[05:53] Hijita
    Huh?
[05:54] Beniko
    You should probably hurry up
    or you'll have an accident.
[05:56] Guy 1
    Thank you very much!
[05:58] Guy 1
    I'm gonna explode!
[06:01] Hijita
    What the hell? They weren't hitting on you?
[06:04] Beniko
    So, when did I become your Beniko?
[06:07] Hijita
    Shut up! I was just going with the flow.
[06:09] Beniko
    Uh-huh...
[06:10] Hijita
    What're you laughing for, huh?!
[06:12] Tamao
    Oh, there you are!
[06:14] Tamao
    Hijita!
SIGN    Oden
SIGN    Shaved Ice
SIGN    Curry
    Rice
[06:16] Tamao
    There's trouble.
[06:17] Tamao
    Utagawa-chan and the others
    are over there, and...
[06:21] Kuniko
    Please let us go!
[06:22] Umibouzu
    Aw, come on. Go on a date with us.
[06:25] Funa Yuurei
    You're all cute. What kind of youkai are you?
[06:28] Funa Yuurei
    Oh, we're an umibouzu and a funa yuurei.
[06:36] Hijita
    Hey, jerks.
[06:37] Hijita
    Who said you could hit on our classmates?
[06:40] Kuniko
    Everyone!
[06:41] Marilyn
    Uh, you guys came to the
    beach to hit on girls, too.
[06:44] Hijita
    Well, we're allowed to!
[06:46] Umibouzu
    Ah, so you're a dorotabou.
[06:48] Umibouzu
    Some hick youkai from Tohoku's
    picking a fight with sea youkai?
[06:52] Funa Yuurei
    Go home and plant some rice or something.
[06:55] Hijita
    The hell did you say?!
[06:56] Nyuudou
    Let the girls go already.
    Clearly, they're not interested!
[06:59] Funa Yuurei
    Shut up!
[07:04] Funa Yuurei
    Come on, now. If you don't
    run, I'm gonna drown you.
[07:08] Small Old Man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary!
[07:10] Small Old Man
    Funa yuurei.
[07:11] Small Old Man
    They're youkai that use a ladle to pour
    water into your ships to sink them.
[07:17] Kuniko
    Hey! Stop that!
[07:21] Funa Yuurei
    I guess I can think about it if you'll date me.
[07:25] Nyuudou
    Hey! Wait, we're gonna die!
[07:28] Fuji
    Maybe you should cool down a bit.
[07:31] Maeda
    You guys are embarrassing
    me as a fellow sea youkai.
[07:34] Funa Yuurei
    A merman, eh?
[07:37] Maeda
    Fuji!
[07:42] Umibouzu
    Whoa! I'm freezing up!
[07:44] Hijita
    Good job, you two!
[07:45] Yanagida
    Girls! Hop on over here!
[07:49] Yanagida
    Right onto my back!
[07:56] Yanagida
    All right! Rescue complete!
[07:58] Hijita
    Now! Class 3, charge!
[08:01] Mujina
    We're also frozen and can't move!
[08:07] Mamekichi
    Wow, it's almost complete.
[08:09] Sano
    Just a little more.
[08:10] Funa Yuurei
    Damn it... Take this!
[08:15] Sano
    Okay, just a little—
SIGN    Fire
[08:23] Hijita
    Hah! Where are you even aiming?
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
[08:26] Odawara
    Guys! Behind us!
SIGN    Fire
[08:34] Hijita
    H-Hey, Sano, what're you...
[08:37] Mujina
    Crap! Sano's so pissed that he used his
    youkai magic to summon storm clouds!
[08:42] Hijita
    He's planning to kill all of us!
[08:45] Nyuudou
    Everyone, get out of the water!
[08:46] Odawara
    We can't! We're frozen, too!
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
[08:52] Sano
    All right. Time for some divine punishment.
SIGN    Fire
[09:07] Mamekichi
    All done!
[09:09] Mamekichi
    What a cute tanuki!
[09:10] Sano
    Yeah.
[09:12] Mamekichi
    By the way...
[09:15] Mamekichi
    Why is everyone sleeping?
[09:17] Sano
    Who knows? They probably got
    tired from playing so much.
[09:20] Sano
    Let's take pictures.
[09:21] Mamekichi
    Yeah, totally.
SIGN    Iwate
    Prefecture
[09:26] Beniko; Hijita; Nyuudou
    So exhausted...
[09:29] Beniko
    See you later.
[09:30] Hijita
    Yup.
[09:32] Hijita
    Man, I'm still all numb
    from Sano's youkai magic.
[09:37] Nyuudou
    Me, too.
[09:38] Hijita
    Yeah, I'm done. I'm gonna sleep.
[09:41] Nyuudou
    Me, too.
[09:43] Hijita Mom
    Hey, you two.
[09:45] Hijita
    What? We're done for the day.
[09:49] Hijita
    You can complain to us tomorrow.
[09:50] Hijita Mom
    And do you realize what day tomorrow is?
[09:53] Hijita
    Huh?
[09:55] Nyuudou
    What day?
SIGN    August
SIGN    August
[10:03] Nyuudou
    It's August 31st, right?
[10:07] Hijita
    Oh, crap!
[10:11] Hijita
    I... haven't done any of my homework!
[10:16] Nyuudou
    Dumbass.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[10:26] Haruaki
    Wow... A report about youkai
    births and breeding, huh?
[10:31] Haruaki
    That seems pretty interesting.
[10:33] Sano
    But I don't really get it.
[10:36] Haruaki
    Oh, then let's ask everyone else.
[10:42] Yanagida
    So...
[10:44] Yanagida
    I'm so glad you called me first.
[10:48] Haruaki
    Er... If we call you last, we
    might have an explosive ending.
[10:52] Yanagida
    Yeah, about that...
[10:54] Yanagida
    I've prepared a special Yanagida
    firework to help celebrate summer!
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Bom-ba-ye
[10:59] Sano
    Put that away! Right now!
[11:01] Yanagida
    See how this pans out in about ten minutes.
[11:03] Yanagida
    Look forward to it!
[11:04] Both
    No, seriously, don't!
[11:06] Yanagida
    So, you were asking how
    ittan-momen are born?
[11:09] Yanagida
    In my case...
SIGN    Lucky
    Bag
[11:12] (Flashback) Yanagida Mom
    I thought the lucky bag had a loin
    cloth in it, but it was an ittan-momen.
[11:17] (Flashback) Yanagida
    Goo goo.
[11:18] (Flashback) Yanagida Dad
    Guess we have a son now.
[11:20] Haruaki
    Why were you like some bonus prize?
[11:22] Yanagida
    Incidentally, Brogida, who's
    an ittan-paper, was born...
[11:25] (Flashback) Yanagida Dad
    I thought some paper was stuck in the copier,
    but one sheet was actually a youkai.
[11:31] Haruaki
    Why were you guys just stuck in something?
[11:33] Yanagida
    I think we were originally just cloth,
    and then my parents touched us,
[11:37] Yanagida
    causing their spirit energy to flow
    into us and turning us into youkai.
[11:41] Haruaki
    I see. That's interesting.
[11:45] Haruaki
    Let's ask the other students, too.
SIGN    Matsuyama
[11:51] Mamekichi
    Hmm... Let's see...
[11:54] Mamekichi
    When you have two animal youkai parents,
[11:56] Mamekichi
    you end up with dozens of siblings like me.
[11:59] Hatanaka
    Kamaitachi!
[12:00] Mamekichi
    Hatanaka-sensei and Akisame-kun also
    said they have a bunch of siblings.
[12:01] Tamao
    Nekomata!
[12:04] Haruaki
    Wow...
[12:06] Mamekichi
    Animal youkai are basically just
    like their animal counterparts.
[12:12] Mamekichi
    So it'd probably be more interesting to
    ask some inorganic youkai about this.
[12:17] Haruaki
    Good idea! Then, next...
SIGN    Odawara
    Workshop
[12:21] Odawara
    It's a bit messy, but come in.
[12:24] Haruaki
    So many lights...
[12:27] Odawara
    So... As for how chouchin-kozous are born...
[12:33] Odawara
    See? One was born just now.
[12:36] Haruaki
    It was born from that?!
[12:38] Haruaki
    Wait, are you the one
    creating chouchin-kozous?
[12:41] Odawara
    Yup! I'm actually the first
    chouchin-kozou in Japan!
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
[12:45] Odawara
    Believe it or not, I'm over 300 years old.
[12:48] Haruaki
    What?! I had no idea!
[12:50] Odawara
    Originally...
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Police
SIGN    Police
SIGN    Police
SIGN    Police
[12:52] Police
    You're under arrest!
SIGN    Police
SIGN    Police
SIGN    Police
SIGN    Police
SIGN    Police
SIGN    Police
SIGN    Police
SIGN    Police
SIGN    Police
SIGN    Police
[12:54] Odawara
    Back in the 1700s during the Edo Period,
[12:56] Odawara
    there was a lantern that
    the police back then used.
[13:00] Odawara
    Then the souls of some criminals just
    happened to enter it, and I was born.
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
[13:05] Both
    Huh...
[13:07] Odawara
    I think most inorganic youkai
[13:09] Odawara
    turn into youkai by gaining
    spirit energy or souls.
[13:14] Daisy
    Umbrella!
[13:15] Odawara
    I think that's what happened with Daisy, too.
[13:17] Sano
    This is the most youkai-sounding
    thing so far.
[13:20] Haruaki
    Right?
[13:24] Hijita
    Well, as you've probably figured out...
[13:26] Hijita
    I was born from a rice paddy.
[13:28] Dorotabous
    Heave-ho!
[13:30] Hijita
    When two dorotabous till a field
    together, one more is born.
[13:35] Haruaki
    So what happens when their partner isn't
    a dorotabou? Like with your sister?
SIGN    Weasel
SIGN    Weasel
SIGN    Oni
[13:40] Hijita
    Just like with Hatanaka's family, they'll be born
    as either their mom's species or their dad's.
[13:46] Hijita
    Though rarely, a youkai that's half of
    each is born, creating a new youkai,
[13:49] Hijita
    but you have to go to the youkai ministry and...
[13:51] Nyuudou
    Hey.
[13:53] Hijita
    Er... never mind about that.
[13:56] Nyuudou
    Hijita's mom wants to know if you
    guys want some chilled ramen, too.
[14:00] Haruaki
    Oh, that'd be great, thanks.
[14:03] Nyuudou
    Okay.
[14:06] Hijita
    Anyway, I think that's about all I know.
[14:08] Sano
    I see. So both parents don't
    have to be the same youkai.
[14:13] Haruaki
    Maybe there'll be more youkai and
    human couples in the future, too.
[14:17] Hijita
    I mean, they exist... but it's not great.
[14:22] Hijita
    Especially if the mom is a human.
[14:26] Hijita
    Giving birth to a youkai child
    takes a lot out of a human mom.
[14:31] Haruaki
    I see. I guess that's a problem that can
    come up if their races are different.
[14:36] Hijita
    By the way...
[14:40] Hijita
    All the stuff you took notes on so far
    about youkai births... Could I copy it?
[14:43] Hijita
    I haven't finished any of
    my homework whatsoever!
[14:46] Sano
    No.
[14:47] Hijita
    Please.
[14:47] Sano
    No.
[14:48] Hijita
    Please.
[14:48] Sano
    No.
[14:49] Hijita
    Please!
[14:49] Sano
    I said no, damn it!
[14:51] Takahashi
    Huh...
[14:53] Takahashi
    Miki-sensei sure assigns
    some interesting homework.
[14:56] Haruaki
    So we were hoping to hear about
    a dodomeki youkai like yourself,
[14:59] Haruaki
    as well as Takahashi-sensei.
[15:01] Takahashi
    I was born from a mother and a
    father, just like humans are.
[15:05] Takahashi
    But as for how dodomeki youkai first
    came to be, a long time ago...
[15:08] Takahashi
    A thief suddenly had a bunch of
    eyeballs appear on their body.
[15:13] Takahashi
    It was almost like the eyes were
    watching their evil deeds.
[15:18] Takahashi
    That basically sounds like a curse the gods
     bestowed upon a criminal, doesn't it?
[15:25] Takahashi
    Incidentally, my nurses
    are the exact opposite
[15:28] Takahashi
    of being born from the souls
    of the dead, like Odawara-kun.
[15:32] Haruaki
    The opposite?
[15:34] Takahashi
    It's a case where a soulless human
    corpse turned into a youkai.
[15:39] Takahashi
    Actually, I'm making one right now.
[15:44] Takahashi
    Do you want to see?
[15:47] Haruaki
    No, that's okay! Thanks a lot!
[15:51] Yamazaki
    How are doppelgangers born?
[15:55] Yamazaki
    Oh, is that all? I thought you guys came
    here to confess, so I threw you in there.
[15:59] Haruaki
    Talk about jumping the gun!
[16:00] Yamazaki
    Sorry about that.
[16:02] Yamazaki
    As for how doppelgangers are created...
[16:05] Yamazaki
    There's really no reason why they come to be.
[16:09] Haruaki
    Uh, what do you mean by that?
[16:11] Yamazaki
    They just happen to appear at random one day.
[16:15] Yamazaki
    I actually think a lot of
    youkai are born that way.
[16:19] Yamazaki
    And...
[16:20] Yamazaki
    According to one theory, the gods
    created all youkai as divine punishment.
[16:26] Haruaki
    Divine punishment?
[16:28] Yamazaki
    Supposedly, the gods changed humans who
    did evil deeds into something not human...
[16:33] Yamazaki
    And that's originally how youkai came to be.
[16:36] Yamazaki
    It could be that youkai were
    created to make sure we could tell
SIGN    Fire
[16:39] Yamazaki
    which humans he had bestowed
    divine punishment upon.
[16:43] Yanagida
    I, uh, see gods sometimes, but I hate 'em.
[16:46] Yanagida
    They look at us like we're some criminals.
[16:49] Yanagida
    Not to mention, they're originally
    supposed to protect humans,
[16:52] Yanagida
    so when it comes to youkai who
    walked off the beaten path...
[16:54] Yanagida
    They probably think we're
    not worth protecting.
[16:58] Haruaki
    I-I mean, this isn't the best
    conversation, even if you're a youkai.
[17:02] Haruaki
    I think that's enough talk about gods.
[17:07] Haruaki
    Boy, we sure did learn
    a lot about youkai today.
[17:12] Sano
    Yeah.
[17:20] Haruaki
    I-I know!
[17:22] Haruaki
    Hey, so when it comes to
    my brother and my names...
[17:25] Sano
    Seimei...
[17:27] Sano
    You've already realized it, haven't you?
[17:33] Sano
    That I'm not a youkai.
[17:36] Seimei
    Yeah.
[17:38] Seimei
    You're one of those gods that we
    were just talking about, right?
[17:44] Sano
    When did you realize it?
[17:48] Haruaki
    Well, actually...
[17:50] Haruaki
    The first day I started teaching.
[17:52] Sano
    Huh? The first day?
[17:54] Sano
    What?
[17:55] Haruaki
    W-Well, you see...
    when I took attendance...
SIGN    Mikoto Sano
SIGN    Yakubyougami
SIGN    Address: Shimane Prefecture
    Izumo City,
    Takamagahara 4-chome
SIGN    <Notes>
SIGN    He caused a problem when he was in
    middle school, and was transferred from
    the gods' school and sent to a youkai
    middle school in the Chugoku and Shikoku
    regions. Overall, he keeps his spirit
    power under control. Caution
    necessary.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 291 0 291 50 0 75
[18:00] Haruaki
    there happened to be
    a bookmark on that page.
[18:04] Haruaki
    I figured all of the teachers knew.
[18:07] Sano
    Seriously...
[18:08] Haruaki
    Huh?
[18:10] Sano
    That's literally toward the very beginning!
[18:13] Sano
    Why did you act like you didn't
    know this whole time, huh?!
[18:15] Haruaki
    Bcause I thought you were like the Ogata twins
[18:18] Haruaki
    and used to be a god and
    you turned into a youkai!
[18:22] Haruaki
    But you weren't in the Youkai Dictionary...
[18:25] Haruaki
    Plus, my power to exorcise demons
    managed to get Ogata-kun
[18:27] Haruaki
    and the others to pass out,
    but it didn't really affect you.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[18:32] Haruaki
    Oh, I see... I guess Sano-kun's still a god.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[18:35] Haruaki
    I realized it, but it seemed like a touchy
    subject, so I just ignored it until today!
[18:44] Haruaki
    Then there was Momoyama's perfume
    that had youkai pheromones...
[18:47] Haruaki
    You actually have a nose,
    and it didn't work on you!
[18:49] Haruaki
    Of course I'd get a clue!
[18:51] Sano
    Shut up! Seriously, what
    the hell is with you?
[18:53] Sano
    Now my super serious confession
    is super embarrassing.
[18:57] Haruaki
    I mean, it doesn't matter
    if you're a youkai or a god!
[19:03] Haruaki
    You're still the same ol' Sano-kun.
[19:05] Haruaki
    Even if you're a youkai, you're still
    a student at the youkai high school.
[19:08] Haruaki
    You're number 13 in Class
    2-3! Mikoto Sano-kun!
[19:17] Haruaki
    Besides, I may be human, but I'm
    more youkai-like than most youkai.
[19:24] Sano
    Ugh, what the hell?
[19:30] Sano
    Seriously, what the hell?
[19:33] Sano
    Man... Being around you makes me realize
[19:36] Sano
    how stupid it is to be concerned
    about certain things.
[19:39] Sano
    Yeah, I'm a god.
[19:42] Sano
    Worship me.
[19:43] Haruaki
    Wow, now you're getting arrogant.
[19:46] Sano
    Seriously, I should've been arrogant earlier.
[19:50] Haruaki
    Oh? Are you feeling better, Sano-kun?
[19:53] Sano
    Shut up.
[19:55] Yanagida
    Er, wait...
[19:56] Yanagida
    Have they totally forgotten about me?
[20:01] Sano
    Oh, but don't tell anyone in the class yet.
SIGN    Private
[20:04] Yanagida
    I'm right here, though.
[20:05] Haruaki
    I won't! I mean, you've
    been keeping my secret, too.
[20:09] Haruaki
    We're even now.
[20:11] Yanagida
    Now they're talking about Seimei-sensei's
    secret that I know nothing of!
[20:16] Yanagida
    Okay... I'm just gonna ask them.
[20:19] Yanagida
    Excuse me...
[20:20] Haruaki
    I won't ask you why you
    came to a youkai school.
[20:26] Haruaki
    But if you ever want to tell
    me, I'll be ready to listen.
[20:31] Sano
    Yeah.
[20:33] Yanagida
    It's no use... I definitely can't butt in...
[20:36] Yanagida
    Come on, stop that. I can't
    deal with serious stuff!
[20:41] Yanagida
    There's only one thing that
    can shatter this mood.
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Bom-ba-ye
[20:45] Yanagida
    That's right! As long as I'm around,
    no serious mood allowed...
SIGN    Rocket Firework
SIGN    Bom-ba-ye
[20:51] Yanagida
    Ever!
[20:54] Sano; Haruaki
    Huh?
[21:01] Mamekichi
    Wow! Huge fireworks!
[21:05] Mamekichi
    Was there a fireworks show planned today?
[21:22] Haruaki
    And so, Yanagida-kun's fireworks
[21:26] Haruaki
    added color to the summer
    night sky all across Japan.
SIGN    9/1
[21:32] Haruaki
    As soon as the new term began...
[21:36] Hatanaka
    You wanted to see what kind of reaction
[21:39] Hatanaka
    your teachers would have if
    you didn't do your homework?
[21:43] Hijita
    Yeah.
[21:44] Hijita
    In order to do your free research project,
[21:47] Hijita
    I had no choice but to not do my homework.
[21:51] Hatanaka
    I see. In that case...
[21:54] Hatanaka
    Let me carve the reaction you wanted...
[21:56] Hatanaka
    into your body.
[22:00] Haruaki
    And so, Hyakki Academy's faculty room was
    brilliantly colored by Hijita-kun's blood splatter.

Season 1

18 - The Temporary Teacher, Ebisu-sensei

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Faculty Room
[00:03] Principal
    All right. Is everyone ready?
[00:06] Principal
    Now, if you'll introduce yourself.
[00:08] Ebisu
    I've come here to better relations
    between gods and ayakashi.
[00:12] Ebisu
    I'll be serving as a temporary
    teacher here at Hyakki Academy.
[00:18] Ebisu
    I'm the god of fortune, Isaburou Ebisu.
[00:22] Haruaki
    You're the guy from Tokyo!
[00:24] Haruaki
    Ah, Abe-sensei. I figured I'd see you here.
[00:29] Haruaki
    So you're a teacher who's also a god.
    No wonder you knew about youkai.
[00:34] Ebisu
    Yup. We ended up not seeing each other
    again, so I didn't get to tell you.
[00:40] Ebisu
    We sorta parted in a slight argument, but...
[00:43] (Flashback) Haruaki
    She might be one of my students someday.
[00:48] (Flashback) Ebisu
    I mean, they live in a completely
    different world than you humans.
[00:52] Ebisu
    I hope we can be friends.
[00:57] Haruaki
    Me, too!
[00:59] Haruaki
    Sorry I ended up getting mad.
[01:05] Hatanaka
    I thought their kind didn't like
    interacting with us youkai.
[01:10] Hatanaka
    Times change, I guess.
[01:11] Principal
    Yes, well...
[01:14] Principal
    I can't say I was very fond of
    interacting with the gods, either.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Faculty Room
[02:51] Hatanaka
    Oh?
[02:53] Hatanaka
    So you actually met during the whole
    getting-lost-in-Tokyo fiasco.
SIGN    Episode 18
    "The Temporary Teacher,
    Ebisu-sensei"
[02:57] Haruaki
    Isn't it a strange coincidence?
[02:59] Miki
    But wow, a god of fortune? That's so cool!
[03:02] Miki
    I hope we can be friends!
[03:04] Hatanaka
    Here we go.
[03:04] Miki
    Can you make money appear?
[03:06] Ebisu
    No... I can't do that.
[03:09] Haruaki
    But it took so long for you
    to consider me a friend...
[03:15] Hatanaka
    I have a class with the first-years,
    so I'll see you later.
[03:18] Haruaki
    Me, too. Ebisu-sensei.
[03:21] Haruaki
    I have a class with Class 3 during
    second period, so let's go together then.
[03:24] Ebisu
    Sure.
[03:26] Miki
    I don't have a class first period, so I'm
    going to get closer to Ebisu-sensei.
[03:32] Hatanaka
    Ebisu-sensei.
[03:33] Hatanaka
    About 90% of what that guy says is pure
    flattery, so don't take him seriously.
SIGN    Yen
SIGN    Yen
SIGN    Yen
SIGN    Yen
SIGN    Yen
SIGN    Yen
SIGN    Yen
SIGN    Yen
SIGN    Yen
SIGN    Yen
SIGN    Yen
SIGN    Yen
[03:37] Haruaki
    Also, don't let him borrow any money,
[03:39] Haruaki
    even if he begs!
[03:42] Miki
    Look at all of you, gangin' up on me.
[03:45] Miki
    So...
[03:46] Miki
    What's a god like you doing at a youkai school?
[03:53] Ebisu
    You don't need to be so guarded.
[03:57] Ebisu
    I heard about this exchange program
    between non-humans, so I just signed up.
[04:02] Ebisu
    Besides, this school has gods like us
[04:05] Ebisu
    and a god who fell from godhood
    and turned into a youkai.
[04:09] Ebisu
    I just wanted to see how
    those folks were doing.
[04:14] Ebisu
    Though Abe-sensei's powers
    are a bit troublesome,
[04:18] Ebisu
    so I'll do my best not to provoke him too much.
[04:20] Ebisu
    Even though his power may
    not affect god powers
[04:23] Ebisu
    as strongly as it does youkai spirit energy,
[04:25] Ebisu
    it does seem to dispel divine
    energy at least a little.
[04:29] Ebisu
    And I'm not used to having my
    powers drained like you are.
[04:34] Ebisu
    Isn't that right,
[04:35] Ebisu
    little shuten-douji who was weakened...
[04:39] Ebisu
    by his own mother?
[04:42] Miki
    This little...
[04:44] Ebisu
    Now, now. Let's keep things
    civil and just get along.
[04:48] Ebisu
    I'm sure you also have
    something at this school that...
[04:53] Ebisu
    you want to protect.
[04:57] Miki
    Something I want to protect, eh?
[05:02] Miki
    I'm sure that applies to both of us.
[05:06] Miki
    I happened to be his teacher
    during his first year.
[05:10] Miki
    I did a bit of research.
[05:13] Miki
    Don't assume that I don't
    know anything about y'all.
[05:18] Ebisu
    My, my, you're a tough egg to crack.
[05:21] Miki
    And so are you.
[05:23] Ebisu; Miku
    God, he's insufferable.
[05:26] Mandragora
    Second period!
SIGN    Class 2-3
[05:28] Haruaki
    This is Class 2-3, the class you'll
    be assisting with for a month.
[05:33] Haruaki
    They're all really great kids.
[05:36] Ebisu
    Huh...
[05:37] Haruaki
    Once you go in, you'll greet them and...
[05:39] Mamekichi
    Ah! Morning, Seimei-kun.
[05:43] Haruaki
    You're both late. It's already 10 AM.
[05:46] Mamekichi
    Well, there was a feature about
    kittens on the morning show,
[05:50] Mamekichi
    and Sano-kun just refused to leave.
[05:55] Sano
    You're...
[05:56] Ebisu
    Mii-kun...
[05:59] Ebisu
    What's with that hair?
[06:00] Haruaki
    Oh, don't worry. He may be blond,
    but he's not a delinquent.
[06:06] Haruaki
    His name is Mikoto Sano-kun,
[06:08] Haruaki
    and the little one on his back
    is Mamekichi Maizuka-kun.
[06:11] Ebisu
    It's nice to meet you,
    Sano-kun, Maizuka-kun.
[06:18] Haruaki
    Come to think of it, when I first saw you,
[06:21] Haruaki
    I thought you looked like Sano-kun.
[06:23] Haruaki
    Maybe you're distant relatives!
[06:25] Sano
    You're just imagining things.
[06:27] Haruaki
    Sano-kun?
[06:29] Mandragora
    Okay, listen up!
[06:31] Ebisu
    So, yeah. I'll be this class's
    assistant teacher for a while.
[06:35] Ebisu
    My name is Isaburou Ebisu.
SIGN    Isaburou Ebisu
[06:37] Haruaki
    Ebisu-sensei is a god of fortune.
[06:39] Haruaki
    Make sure you're all nice—
[06:41] Marilyn
    Hey, isn't he kinda hot?
[06:43] Hijita
    Since you're a god of fortune,
[06:44] Hijita
    I'll offer you ten yen a day if
    you can get me a girlfriend!
[06:49] Kurahashi
    Hey, he looks like Sano-kun.
[06:51] Toubyou
    Do you know each other?
[06:52] Sano
    No, I don't know him.
[06:54] Mamekichi
    Toubyou-kun!
[06:57] Mamekichi
    If you say that, then I'd be a relative
    to mandragoras or a human-faced fish.
[07:02] Mandragora
    One of us...
[07:02] Toubyou
    True...
[07:04] Kurahashi
    You also look like Yanagida-kun.
[07:06] Mamekichi
    What? No I don't.
[07:08] Mamekichi
    Don't compare me to that classless face.
[07:12] Yanagida
    Hey! I can hear you!
SIGN    Let's write
    a haiku
[07:14] Haruaki
    A-Anyway, Ebisu-sensei will be
    teaching this class with me today.
SIGN    Let's write
    a haiku
[07:18] Haruaki
    For our Japanese lesson today,
    we'll be writing haikus.
SIGN    Let's write
    a haiku
SIGN    Let's write
    a haiku
[07:21] Ebisu
    So you're not teaching grammar
    in high school Japanese classes?
SIGN    Super Awesome Haiku Writers:
    Banshou Matsuo
     Issa Kobayashi
    Buson Yosa
    Haiku are written as 5-7-5 syllable lines
    with a total of 17 syllables. If they become
    too long, they're just regular poems, so
    be careful.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 200 0 200 28 0 28
SIGN    m 0 0 l 250 0 250 28 0 28
[07:26] Ebisu
    There's ruby text all over the textbook.
[07:29] Ebisu
    Even on the katakana...
[07:31] Nyuudou
    Sensei, you probably think you're in
    a grade school right now, don't you?
[07:35] Ebisu
    Th-That's not true...
[07:39] Tamao
    Well, Seimei's classes do
    feel like grade school ones.
[07:44] Haruaki
    Yet somehow the average test score for this
    supposed "grade school class" is eight?
[07:49] All
    S-Sorry about that.
[07:50] Mandragora
    Haruaki's scary!
[07:54] Mamekichi
    Seimei-kun! I finished my haiku!
SIGN    I am Omame.
    I always transform with bags.
    Omame I am.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 270 0 270 32 0 32
[07:57] Mamekichi
    I am Omame.
[07:59] Mamekichi
    I always transform with bags.
[08:00] Mamekichi
    Omame I am.
[08:01] Tamao
    Hey, Omame. You're missing
    a seasonal word.
[08:04] Mamekichi
    Well, I was born in the fall, and
    "omame," or "bean," is a fall word.
[08:07] Tamao
    Yeah, I don't buy it.
[08:09] Haruaki
    But it's very much you, Maizuka-kun. I like it.
[08:13] Haruaki
    It'd be a shame to correct it.
[08:15] Haruaki
    I can't give you 100 points,
[08:17] Haruaki
    but you can have the
    Haruaki Nobel Prize in Literature.
[08:21] Ebisu
    You don't have to correct the whole thing.
[08:23] Ebisu
    You just have to correct this part.
SIGN    I am Omame.
    I always transform with bags.
    Omame I am. Mame-danuki.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 270 0 270 32 0 32
[08:28] Ebisu
    "Tanuki" is a winter
    seasonal word, after all.
[08:32] Ebisu
    See?
[08:34] Haruaki
    Ah, you're right. Now it's correct!
[08:37] Mamekichi
    Ebisu-sensei, I guess you
    know that I'm a mame-danuki.
[08:41] Mamekichi
    Even though I never mentioned that.
[08:43] Ebisu
    Of course. I've heard a lot about this class.
[08:48] Toubyou
    Ebisu-sensei!
[08:51] Toubyou
    Take a look at Kurahashi's, too.
[08:53] Kurahashi
    N-No, that's okay!
[08:56] Ebisu
    Let's see...
[08:57] Ebisu
    Huh?! This is a hai...ku...?
SIGN    The ham I had for brekfast breakfast
    was
    awesome.
    Kurahashi
SIGN    m 0 0 l 350 0 350 43 0 43
[09:00] Kurahashi
    The ham I had for breakfast was awesome.
[09:04] Kurahashi
    Kurahashi.
[09:05] Ebisu
    Ham?
[09:06] Kurahashi
    I tried to make one with what I ate today.
[09:09] Ebisu
    Okay. Why don't you keep what you
    have and add how you feel about it?
[09:15] Kurahashi
    Ooh!
[09:18] Haruaki
    S-Sorry I'm not great at teaching.
[09:22] Mamekichi
    It's not your fault, Seimei-kun.
[09:26] Mamekichi
    I just preferred getting your
    Haruaki Nobel Prize over 100 points.
[09:29] Haruaki
    B-But this is probably
    better for your future...
[09:33] Haruaki
    I was being a bit too subjective. Sor—
[09:35] Sano
    Seimei.
[09:38] Sano
    I don't get this part. Teach me.
[09:41] Seimei
    Er, well...
[09:43] Seimei
    Since Ebisu-sensei is here,
    he should probably...
[09:47] Sano
    But I'm asking you.
[09:51] Haruaki
    O-Okay. Then I'll teach you! What part?
[09:55] Sano
    Question 8.
[09:57] Haruaki
    Oh, you got the route
    calculation wrong here.
[10:01] Haruaki
    Wait!
SIGN    Science
[10:02] Haruaki
    Why are you doing math?!
[10:04] Sano
    Oh. So it is math.
[10:07] Sano
    My bad. I wanted to ask you about this.
[10:10] Haruaki
    Oh, the difference between
    stamens and pistils is...
[10:13] Haruaki
    Wait! This is for health class!
SIGN    High School
    Science
[10:15] Sano
    No, it's science, you dumbass!
[10:17] Haruaki
    Oh, you're right! Whoopsies!
[10:20] Sano
    What the hell were you even thinking with
    stamens and pistils being health class?
[10:23] Sano
    You've got the mind of a
    middle schooler, you perv.
[10:26] Haruaki
    No, I don't!
SIGN    Cafeteria
[10:31] Haruaki
    Ebisu-sensei is so clever with his
    teaching, I'm losing confidence.
[10:35] Haruaki
    If I'm doing my best teaching
    them and they're getting
[10:38] Haruaki
    an average of eight on their tests,
    it means I'm not teaching them right.
[10:42] Hatanaka
    Honestly, anyone teaching them
    would yield the same results.
[10:44] Miki
    Don't be so depressed about it.
[10:47] Miki
    The reason everyone's grades
    in Class 3 are so bad is because
[10:50] Miki
    we dumped all the kids
    with bad grades in it.
[10:54] Miki
    Hatanaka-kun said...
[10:56] (Flashback) Hatanaka
    Let's have the new guy Abe
    deal with all of them.
[11:01] Miki
    It was all his idea.
[11:03] Hatanaka
    Oh, shit. He's right. I forgot.
[11:05] Haruaki
    This is the first I'm hearing
    about this, four-eyes.
[11:08] Hatanaka
    M-More importantly, you should eat.
[11:11] Hatanaka
    Lunch break's almost over.
[11:13] Haruaki
    I promised Akisame-kun I'd
    help him study during lunch!
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Your hips
    are too low
SIGN    Claw Sharpening
SIGN    Scratch
SIGN    Scratch
[11:18] Haruaki
    I spent the last three days
    after school becoming a cat
SIGN    Food
[11:21] Haruaki
    and making study notes for Akisame-kun.
SIGN    Cat Meeting
SIGN    Uh-huh
[11:23] (Flashback) Cat
    Catnip is god.
[11:24] Haruaki
    I want to make sure he gets
    a 100% on his next test!
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Udon
SIGN    m 0 0 l 36 0 36 5 0 5
[11:27] Hatanaka
    W-Wow... Everything's in the perspective
    of a cat and written in cat.
[11:32] Haruaki
    And so...
[11:36] Haruaki
    I'm gonna go help him study from
    the perspective of a cat, meow!
[11:38] Hatanaka
    Hey! Don't run over there on all fours!
SIGN    Curry
SIGN    Meal Tickets
SIGN    m 0 0 l 103 0 103 7 0 7
SIGN    Udon
SIGN    m 0 0 l 40 0 40 5 0 5
[11:41] Hatanaka
    Run like a human!
SIGN    Curry
SIGN    Curry
SIGN    Curry
[11:43] Hatanaka
    I honestly respect that side of him.
SIGN    Meal Tickets
SIGN    m 0 0 l 105 0 105 7 0 7
SIGN    Meal Tickets
SIGN    m 0 0 l 105 0 105 7 0 7
SIGN    Meal Tickets
SIGN    m 0 0 l 105 0 105 7 0 7
SIGN    Meal Tickets
SIGN    m 0 0 l 105 0 105 7 0 7
[11:47] Miki
    Me, too.
SIGN    Meal Tickets
SIGN    m 0 0 l 105 0 105 7 0 7
SIGN    Meal Tickets
SIGN    m 0 0 l 105 0 105 7 0 7
SIGN    Class 2-3
[11:50] Haruaki
    Akisame-kun—
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
[11:51] Marilyn
    Ebisu-sensei!
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
[11:54] Marilyn
    Help me with my studies, too!
[11:56] Ebisu
    Sure.
[11:57] Daisy
    Do you have a girlfriend, Sensei?
[11:59] Ebisu
    That's a secret.
[12:01] Daisy
    Come on, tell us!
[12:02] Nyuudou
    Tama, why don't you have
    him teach you, too?
[12:05] Mujina
    This dude got a minus 35
    on the last pop quiz.
[12:09] Ebisu
    Minus 35?!
[12:11] Tamao
    Th-That's because I mistook
    math for Japanese.
[12:15] Tamao
    Right before the quiz was over...
[12:18] (Flashback) Tamao
    Huh? Why am I coming up with
    math formulas for Japanese?
[12:23] Tamao
    When I realized it, time was up.
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
[12:27] Ebisu
    Do you want me to help you right now?
[12:30] Ebisu
    I can probably at least get you to 15 points.
[12:33] Tamao
    Hey, that sounds great!
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
[12:44] Beniko
    What's with Seimei?
[12:47] Beniko
    Sano!
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
[12:54] Beniko
    That's...
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[13:06] Sano
    Damn it, where'd he go?
SIGN    Currently barricading myself in here
    Ring bell for service
[13:14] Hatanaka
    So...
SIGN    Currently barricading myself in here
    Ring bell for service
[13:15] Hatanaka
    He couldn't handle how efficient
    the new teacher Ebisu was,
[13:20] Hatanaka
    so he ran and is currently barricading
    himself under his desk clinging to a uniform.
[13:25] Miki
    Oh, dear.
[13:27] Principal
    All right, this is a job for you two.
[13:30] Hatanaka
    Huh? Us?
[13:31] Principal
    Yes, of course it is.
[13:34] Principal
    Previously, he never would've told
    anyone if something was troubling him.
SIGN    Currently barricading myself in here
    Ring bell for service
[13:39] Principal
    Look at how obviously
    he's asking you to notice him.
[13:43] Principal
    That means he's opened
    up his heart that much.
[13:46] Principal
    Though it's honestly a nuisance
    for those not involved in this.
[13:50] Principal
    I don't think he's been able to open
    up to any of the other teachers.
[13:55] Hatanaka
    Uh... Yeah, I guess.
[13:59] Hatanaka
    Oh, fine...
[14:03] Hatanaka
    Haruaki, what's the matter?
[14:04] Hatanaka
    Did you lose your confidence as a teacher?
[14:07] Haruaki
    Uh-huh.
[14:08] Hatanaka
    Don't be so glum.
[14:10] Hatanaka
    Who cares if your students have low grades?
[14:13] Hatanaka
    Don't worry about it.
[14:14] Hatanaka
    It's not like our pay's gonna go down.
[14:17] Principal
    You should probably worry a little more.
[14:19] Haruaki
    Really? You're gonna say that when you
    stuck all the kids with bad grades on me?
[14:23] Hatanaka
    Er... That was just... You know.
[14:26] Hatanaka
    I heard that a super smart
    newbie teacher was coming!
[14:30] Haruaki
    I see. I guess I couldn't
    live up to your expectations.
[14:33] Haruaki
    Sorry about that. After you believed in me...
[14:36] Haruaki
    I guess I just wasn't smart
    enough to live up—
[14:41] Hatanaka
    Quit your damn squirming!
    Are you some squirming maggot?!
[14:44] Hatanaka
    Hurry up and get the hell out here!
[14:47] Nezumi-sensei
    Hatanaka-sensei, calm down!
[14:48] Satou-sensei
    The students are watching!
[14:50] Hatanaka
    You stupid maggot!
[14:52] Principal
    Did he give up on being the serious one?
[14:55] Miki
    I honestly think he forgot he was
    supposed to be the serious one.
SIGN    No Soliciting
SIGN    No Delinquents, Either
SIGN    m 0 0 l 191 0 191 6 0 6
SIGN    No Delinquents, Either
    No Soliciting
    Currently barricading myself in here
    Ring bell for service
[15:01] Principal
    Oh, goodness. Now he's even more shut in.
[15:05] Hatanaka
    Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
[15:07] Miki
    Haruaki-kun.
[15:09] Miki
    We're not saying that you
    shouldn't worry about this.
[15:13] Miki
    We want you to let us worry with you.
[15:17] Miki
    Let's solve this problem together.
[15:20] Miki
    Peacefully.
[15:22] Miki
    That's not flattery. That's how I really feel.
SIGN    No Soliciting
SIGN    m 0 0 l 82 0 82 8 0 6
SIGN    No Delinquents,
    Either
SIGN    m 0 0 l 81 0 81 8 0 6
[15:24] Haruaki
    Rintarou-kun...
[15:26] Miki
    I know. I have some good
    news that'll cheer you up.
[15:32] Miki
    Since you were caught up
    in my family's troubles,
[15:34] Miki
    all my sisters, other than Ibara-neechan...
[15:36] Miki
    said they'd happily take your
    virginity from you as an apology.
SIGN    No Soliciting
SIGN    No
    Delinquents,
    Either
SIGN    m 0 0 l 57 0 57 11 0 11
[15:45] Miki
    Maybe I came on a bit too strong.
[15:54] Ebisu
    Abe-sensei's in the faculty room.
[15:59] Sano
    You...
[16:00] Ebisu
    I've been hoping to see you, Mii-kun.
[16:04] Sano
    Why did you come to this school?
[16:06] Sano
    You've always hated youkai.
[16:09] Ebisu
    More importantly, you should
    probably save Abe-sensei.
[16:12] Ebisu
    He's been crying in the faculty room.
[16:15] Ebisu
    Abe-sensei is a really good person.
[16:19] Ebisu
    He's a typical pushover and basically
    prey for bad guys to take advantage of.
[16:25] Ebisu
    He's truly a model stupid human.
[16:28] Ebisu
    We gods have to...
[16:31] Ebisu
    save weaklings like that.
[16:33] Sano
    Save?
[16:35] Sano
    I just need a single uniform
    to take care of that.
[16:38] Ebisu
    Huh?
[16:40] Sano
    More importantly....
[16:41] Sano
    You don't know what makes him a
    good guy, so stop mocking him.
[16:46] Sano
    Thanks for telling me he's
    in the faculty room, though!
[16:50] Ebisu
    Aw, there he goes.
[16:52] Ebisu
    Mii-kun, you're so...
[16:56] Ebisu
    You're so friggin' cute!
[16:59] Ebisu
    You got all grumpy at what I said!
[17:02] Ebisu
    Yeah, I really don't like the fact that my
    adorable little brother is at this shitty school.
SIGN    Faculty Room
[17:10] Sano
    I finally found him and he's
    holed up under his desk.
[17:14] Hatanaka
    Sano, could you bring Akisame?
[17:17] Sano
    There's no need for that.
[17:20] Sano
    Why are you so gloomy?
    Are you Gloomyaki now?
SIGN    No Soliciting
SIGN    m 0 0 l 104 0 104 12 0 10
SIGN    No Delinquents,
    Either
SIGN    m 0 0 l 104 0 104 12 0 12
[17:23] Haruaki
    I am Gloomyaki.
[17:25] Sano
    Come on out here. I'll hear you out.
[17:27] Marshmallow
    Who's the teacher here?
[17:29] Haruaki
    Pout, pout, pout... Pout, pout, pout...
[17:33] Haruaki
    Pout, pout, pout...
[17:34] Sano
    Grr!
[17:35] (Flashback) Ebisu
    We gods have to save weaklings like that.
[17:41] Sano
    Save? This idiot doesn't
    need anything like that.
[17:48] Sano
    You've got some nerve tryin' to ignore me.
[17:52] Haruaki
    Sh-Shano-kun.... Where did
    your kindness from earlier go?
[17:55] Sano
    Nice Sano-kun time is over.
[17:58] Haruaki
    Could I request an extension?
[18:00] Sano
    Shut up.
[18:02] Haruaki
    But...
[18:04] Haruaki
    But I always make you guys get bad grades...
[18:08] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Half of them get zeros.
[18:10] (Flashback) Haruaki
    So I like it.
[18:12] Haruaki
    I always just express how I feel...
[18:14] Haruaki
    I can't actually teach you guys
    cleverly like Ebisu-sensei.
[18:19] Haruaki
    Of course I'm gloomy...
[18:23] Sano
    I'm going to tell you the exact same
    thing you told me over summer vacation.
[18:27] Sano
    Why do you want to be like him?
[18:29] Haruaki
    Huh?
[18:31] (Flashback) Haruaki
    You're still the same ol' Sano-kun.
[18:33] Sano
    You're the same ol' you!
[18:37] Sano
    If Ebisu is able to cleverly
    get Akisame to 15 points,
[18:40] Sano
    then help him get to 100 points
    in your completely stupid way
[18:40] Haruaki
    Go, go, Tamao!
[18:45] Sano
    that's not at all clever!
SIGN    Tamao
[18:46] Haruaki
    Now, jab!
[18:47] Sano
    There are guys who enjoy your weird lessons.
[18:52] Sano
    Like... me...
[18:54] Haruaki
    S-Sano-kun...
[18:57] Tamao
    Ah, Seimei. There you are.
[19:00] Tamao
    What happened to your
    promise to help me study?
[19:03] Haruaki
    Akisame-kun...
[19:04] Haruaki
    I thought you were going to
    have Ebisu-sensei help you...
[19:07] Tamao
    Huh? Why?
[19:08] Tamao
    I mean, he did offer, but...
[19:12] (Flashback) Ebisu
    I can probably at least get you to 15 points.
[19:16] (Flashback) Tamao
    Hey, that sounds great!
SIGN    Cat
    Cat
SIGN    Kanji
    Book
SIGN    Kanji
    Book
SIGN    Kanji
    Book
SIGN    Kanji
    Book
[19:19] (Flashback) Tamao
    But I'll pass.
[19:22] (Flashback) Tamao
    It's not like I dislike you or anything.
    I just want to learn from Seimei.
[19:29] Tamao
    So yeah, I kindly declined.
[19:31] Tamao
    So you need to take responsibility
    and look after me.
[19:34] Tamao
    I've been working through the kanji workbook
[19:37] Tamao
    for cats that you made me since yesterday.
[19:39] Tamao
    Hurry up and praise me!
[19:42] Tamao
    Wait, what's wrong?
[19:46] Beniko
    What? Did you get over being sad already?
SIGN    Akisame-kun's
    Study Notes
SIGN    Oni
[19:50] Beniko
    Here, you dropped this.
[19:51] Beniko
    Also, I figured you might be depressed,
    so I brought some guys to cheer you up.
[19:55] Hijita
    What's wrong, Seimei?
[19:57] Hijita
    Depressed because the awesome new
    temporary teacher outshone you?
[20:01] Nyuudou
    Actually, you guys just need
    to work harder every day.
[20:05] All
    Gulp.
[20:07] Ogoso
    Sensei! You're amazing just the way you are.
SIGN    Oni
[20:11] Toubyou
    Whoa, Ogoso spoke.
[20:13] Hijita
    There's no way we idiots can
    survive without an idiot like you.
[20:20] Students
    Whoa, what's wrong?!
[20:22] Haruaki
    I-I'll do my best!
SIGN    Oni
[20:24] Haruaki
    So that I can... teach you guys... my way...
[20:29] Hijita
    S-Sure. Do your best.
[20:31] Tamao
    I have no idea what's
    going on, but live strong.
[20:34] Haruaki
    I'll do my best to get you all
    to universities that require
[20:37] Haruaki
    a deviation value of 70!
[20:38] Tamao
    Hey, sounds great.
[20:40] Hijita
    Uh, that's a pretty high hurdle.
[20:42] Hijita
    That's higher than Everest!
[20:44] Haruaki
    And then I'll make some
    super amazing company
[20:47] Haruaki
    so I can make more than ten billion a year!
[20:49] Mamekichi
    And now that hurdle's reached space.
[20:52] Sano
    Come on. Stop crying already.
[20:53] Haruaki
    At this rate, I'm going to give all
    of you the Haruaki Nobel Prize!
[20:58] All
    Seriously?
[21:01] Small old man
    The next day...
SIGN    Class 2-3
[21:03] Ebisu
    Okay, for the next problem...
SIGN    Use "somewhat"
    in a short passage
[21:06] Ebisu
    Akisame-kun.
[21:07] Ebisu
    Use "somewhat" in a short passage.
[21:10] Haruaki
    You've got this, Akisame-kun!
[21:11] Tamao
    I want some. Some what?
    Yummy fishcakes.
[21:13] Ebisu
    "I want some. Some what?
    Yummy fishcakes."
[21:17] Ebisu
    I'll give that 100 for feeling.
[21:20] Both
    Yay!
[21:21] Ebisu
    But it'd be a zero on a test.
[21:23] Both
    And now we're sad.
[21:25] Haruaki
    You've all got this!
    Get that deviation value of 70!
[21:29] Sano
    Were you actually serious about that?
[21:31] Haruaki
    We're gonna make ten billion!
[21:32] Beniko
    Not sure how much just telling
    us to do our best is gonna do...
[21:35] Hijita
    I think I'd be more motivated
    if we got something in return.
[21:38] Haruaki
    Good point...
[21:39] Haruaki
    Then I'll give you my
    special photos of uniforms!
[21:43] Students
    No thanks...
[21:44] Ebisu
    Then maybe I'll use my god of fortune
    powers to make something happen
[21:48] Ebisu
    for the students who score in
    the top three on the next test.
[21:57] Haruaki
    I want some of that good luck, too, so I'll
    test and make something good happen!
[22:01] Haruaki
    Gimme uniforms!
[22:03] Tamao
    You're such a sucker for your desires...
[22:05] Ebisu
    Ah, so that's how it is...

Season 1

19 - Welcome to the Youkai Train

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Hijita
    Seriously!
SIGN    Class 2-3
[00:03] Hijita
    Let's just do a mermaid café
    for the cultural festival!
[00:07] Nyuudou
    And seriously, we're not doing that!
[00:10] Sano
    Man, how many hours does it take to decide
    what we're doing for the cultural festival?
[00:15] Hijita
    I'm sure the burden the girls
    would have to deal with
[00:18] Hijita
    for the mermaid café is substantial...
[00:21] Guys
    Welcome!
[00:21] Hijita
    But don't worry! We'll wear the outfits, too!
[00:24] Nyuudou
    No, we won't, and I told
    you we're not doing that!
[00:26] Marilyn
    Why would you even think of
    a swimsuit café? You perv.
[00:31] Yanagida
    I mean... you're not even wearing
    clothes, let alone a bathing suit.
[00:34] Marilyn
    That goes for you, too, you piece of cloth!
[00:36] Haruaki
    Um...
[00:38] Haruaki
    How about a uniform café?
[00:40] All
    That makes no sense and it's lame!
[00:42] Haruaki
    Did you guys just...
[00:44] Haruaki
    make light of uniforms?!
[00:46] Yanagida
    Then...
[00:47] Yanagida
    I guess we'll just have to
    do an explosives café.
[00:50] All
    Absolutely not!
[00:53] Principal
    I'm worried about what Ebisu is up to,
[00:56] Principal
    but Haruaki-kun...
[00:58] Principal
    When Izuna-kun gave me his report,
    I thought he was joking.
[01:02] Principal
    To think Haruaki-kun was
    able to expel most of that
[01:07] Principal
    shutendouji's spiritual energy when
    we could barely seal her away.
[01:12] Principal
    He might be more powerful than I thought.
[01:16] Principal
    Well, maybe I'll invite him
    out for a drink today.
[01:25] Haruaki
    Principal...
[01:27] Principal
    What do you brats think you're doing?!
SIGN    Class 2-3
[01:31] Haruaki
    So, yeah...
[01:33] Haruaki
    We were told to make money
    to repair the school,
[01:37] Haruaki
    so we'll have to do some kind of
    participation game for the cultural festival.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Episode 19:
    "Welcome to the
    Youkai Train"
[03:15] Haruaki
    It's the weekend before the cultural festival.
[03:18] Haruaki
    I'm out shopping with the members of
    Class 3 who had to go buy supplies.
[03:23] Haruaki
    Oh, everyone's already here.
SIGN    Hyakki Academy Island Station
[03:26] Ebisu
    Maybe we showed up a little too early.
SIGN    Hyakki Academy Island Station
[03:28] Nyuudou
    Mujina and the others just left the dorm.
[03:31] Sano
    More importantly...
[03:32] Sano
    Why did you have to come?
[03:34] Ebisu
    Why does it matter?
[03:35] Ebisu
    I'm Class 3's assistant teacher, after all.
[03:38] Ebisu
    Even if it is temporary.
SIGN    Hyakki Academy Island
SIGN    Island 1
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
SIGN    You are here
SIGN    Umibouzu Bridge
SIGN    Old Hyakki Academy Building
SIGN    Island 2
SIGN    Mall
[03:41] Ebisu
    I guess this island has a train.
[03:44] Haruaki
    This is my first time riding it, too.
[03:46] Announcement
    The train will be arriving on track 1 shortly.
[03:50] Sano
    Looks like the train's arriving.
[03:52] Haruaki
    What? Already?
[03:52] Announcement
    Please stand behind the yellow line.
SIGN    Time Table
[03:54] Utagawa
    It's here over ten minutes early.
[03:56] Takahashi
    Also, that announcement sounded weird.
[03:57] Announcement
    The train will be arriving on track 1 shortly.
SIGN    Hyakki Academy Island Station
[04:03] Haruaki
    Oh, well. I guess we can go on ahead.
[04:09] Haruaki
    This is a very old train.
[04:11] Ebisu
    I feel a strange presence from this train.
[04:15] Nyuudou
    I'll contact Mujina and the others.
[04:19] Mujina
    Huh? I guess Nyuudou and the
    others already got on the train.
[04:22] Tamao
    Seriously?
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
[04:24] Odawara
    Kurahashi-kun, is something wrong?
[04:26] Kurahashi
    Er...
[04:28] Kurahashi
    I just have a bad feeling.
[04:30] Tamao
    Uh, c'mon.
[04:31] Tamao
    Coming from you, that's not funny.
[04:35] Haruaki
    Is something wrong, Ebisu-sensei?
[04:38] Ebisu
    No, it's nothing.
[04:42] Announcement
    The doors are closing.
    Please watch your step.
[04:45] Hatanaka
    Whoa! Hey, wait!
[04:52] Hatanaka
    That was close!
[04:54] Haruaki
    Izu—Hatanaka-sensei!
[04:56] Hatanaka
    Class 3.
[04:58] Hatanaka
    Why are you here?
[04:59] Haruaki
    We're buying supplies
    for the cultural festival.
[05:01] Haruaki
    Are you by yourself today, Hatanaka-sensei?
[05:04] Hatanaka
    My wife's back at her family
    home with the kids right now.
[05:06] Hatanaka
    I figured I'd start stocking up on stuff.
[05:09] Hatanaka
    Our fourth's going to be born soon.
[05:11] Hatanaka
    But, uh...
[05:13] Hatanaka
    There's no one else on this train at all, huh?
[05:15] Nyuudou
    We didn't get on one that's
    out of service, did we?
[05:17] Sano
    It's possible.
[05:19] Sano
    The last time I followed Seimei,
[05:21] Sano
    we were supposed to go from Osaka to
    Tokyo but somehow ended up in Hakata.
[05:25] Haruaki
    Sorry about that...
[05:26] Utagawa
    Oh, thank goodness.
    Other people are on this train.
[05:30] Nyuudou
    Utagawa-san!
[05:31] Utagawa
    Huh?
[05:32] Utagawa
    Didn't you guys say you were
    going to buy supplies yesterday?
[05:35] Nyuudou
    Oh, yeah...
[05:36] Nyuudou
    But none of our schedules matched
    up, so we changed it to today.
[05:40] Nyuudou
    What are you up to?
[05:41] Utagawa
    Er, I'm...
[05:44] Takahashi
    Kuniko!
[05:46] Takahashi
    I went all the way to the other end,
    but there weren't any other passengers.
[05:50] Takahashi
    Oh, hey. People from school.
[05:53] Takahashi
    And they're making weird faces.
[05:55] Haruaki
    Wh-Wh-Why are you with
    Utagawa-san on a weekend?!
[06:00] Haruaki
    And you called her Kuniko...
[06:02] Sano
    Nope. I didn't see a thing.
[06:04] Hatanaka
    You bastard! Did you put your
    paws on one of my students?!
[06:09] Takahashi
    Wow, you're all quite imaginative.
[06:11] Utagawa
    Stop laughing and tell them to stop!
[06:13] Ebisu
    Wow, so basically, you're doing
    lewd acts with a minor—
[06:17] Nyuudou
    Don't say it!
[06:18] Nyuudou
    U-Utagawa-san, this is some
    kind of misunderstanding, right?
[06:21] Utagawa
    Not you, too, Nyuudou-kun!
[06:25] All
    You're her guardian?!
[06:26] Seimei
    You're Utagawa-san's guardian,
    Takahashi-sensei?
[06:28] Takahashi
    Yeah. Gashadokuro are born when
    souls of the dead gather.
[06:33] Takahashi
    I picked her up a few years back,
    and I've been her guardian ever since.
[06:38] Nyuudou
    I see.
[06:40] Utagawa
    I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
[06:41] Utagawa
    I thought I might make people worry
[06:43] Utagawa
    if I said I didn't have parents,
    so I kept this a secret.
[06:46] Nyuudou
    Oh... Yeah. I get that.
[06:49] Utagawa
    I'm so sorry!
[06:51] Nyuudou
    Huh? It's fine! Don't worry about it.
[06:54] Haruaki
    Huh? What's that supposed to mean?
[06:56] Nyuudou
    Uh...
[06:57] Haruaki
    Oh, you don't have to tell
    me if you don't want to.
[07:00] Nyuudou
    Well...
[07:02] Nyuudou
    I've only really ever told Utagawa-san,
    Hijita, and Beniko...
[07:07] Nyuudou
    But my mom's human, and she
    passed away a few years back.
[07:12] Haruaki
    Huh? I'm so sorry!
[07:13] Nyuudou
    It's fine. I also didn't tell everyone
    because I didn't want you guys to worry.
[07:18] Nyuudou
    Speaking of families,
    I'm curious about yours, Seimei.
[07:22] Haruaki
    Oh, there's my parents and
    my older twin brother!
[07:25] Utagawa
    What? You have a twin, Sensei?
[07:28] Nyuudou
    Don't tell me your older brother
    also has a uniform fetish...
[07:31] Haruaki
    Nah... If anything, he might
    have a Haruaki fetish...
[07:36] Nyuudou
    Haruaki fetish?
[07:37] Haruaki
    What about you, Takahashi-sensei?
[07:39] Takahashi
    I have totally normal parents and a
    younger brother who's a little different.
[07:43] Takahashi
    You should know my little
    brother, Nyuudou-kun.
[07:47] Takahashi
    He works at your home, after all.
[07:49] Nyuudou
    Seriously?! I don't remember a Takahashi...
[07:52] Takahashi
    That's why I know lots about you.
[07:56] Takahashi
    You last wet the bed when
    you were four. It was winter.
[07:59] Takahashi
    In fourth grade, you couldn't throw
    away the love letter a girl gave you,
[08:03] Takahashi
    so you still keep it in your desk.
[08:05] Utagawa
    Wait, that's...
[08:07] Nyuudou
    Wait, what? Seriously, who the heck?
[08:09] Nyuudou
    I'm gonna kill them.
[08:14] Sano
    Once we enter the tunnel,
    we'll be there in about five minutes...
[08:18] Sano
    Huh? My phone's bugging out.
SIGN    Books
SIGN    No service
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
[08:21] Announcement
    Next stop, Graveyard Town.
    Graveyard Town.
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
SIGN    Books
[08:25] Nyuudou
    What? The next stop should be the mall.
[08:27] Utagawa
    Uh, I've never heard of Graveyard Town.
[08:31] Haruaki
    Oh, but I can see a station.
[08:33] Haruaki
    Maybe it's new.
[08:38] Hatanaka
    Whoa, what the heck?
[08:40] Haruaki
    Outside! L-L-Look outside!
[08:44] Hatanaka
    Oh... It's just a horde of skeleton youkai.
[08:48] Hatanaka
    Though seeing this many
    together is a bit creepy.
[08:50] Utagawa
    But something's strange.
[08:51] Utagawa
    They're not moving at all. It's almost like...
[08:55] Takahashi
    Yup. They aren't youkai.
[08:57] Takahashi
    Those are a bunch of corpses.
[08:59] Takahashi
    I guess the station's living up to
    its name. It's like a graveyard.
[09:03] Ebisu
    Anyway, think this train is possessed
    by youkai or something?
[09:07] Ebisu
    It came earlier than it was supposed to,
[09:09] Ebisu
    no one's heard of this station,
    and there's a bunch of skeletons.
[09:12] Ebisu
    Also, we're the only passengers,
    which is unnatural.
[09:15] Ebisu
    It's almost as if this train wants
    us to join the skeletons.
[09:21] Takahashi
    Well, this isn't good. I have an
    operation scheduled tonight.
[09:29] Hatanaka
    I've had enough of this.
[09:31] Haruaki
    Izuna-kun?
[09:32] Hatanaka
    Hey! Stupid driver!
[09:34] Hatanaka
    Where are you taking us?!
[09:39] Hatanaka
    Okay, I'm gonna slice open this door
    and beat the crap outta the driver!
[09:44] Sano
    Hatanaka's the type of guy who
    dies first in a panic horror film.
[09:48] Nyuudou
    Yup.
[09:51] Hatanaka
    Hey, you! What are you...
[09:52] Haruaki
    Wow, that's amazing!
    There's a uniform just floating here!
[09:55] Hatanaka
    Don't get excited over that!
[09:57] Hatanaka
    But why isn't there anyone in the uniform?
[10:00] Haruaki
    M-Maybe it's an invisible person youkai?
[10:04] Ebisu
    No, an invisible person's
    body would still be there,
[10:07] Ebisu
    but this is more like a uniform
    that's just floating.
[10:11] Takahashi
    Looks like something's controlling it.
[10:14] Takahashi
    That's great!
[10:15] Takahashi
    I'm getting a bit aroused...
    er, I mean... I'm getting excited!
[10:20] Haruaki
    That's loud!
[10:21] Takahashi
    A train whistle?
[10:24] Hatanaka
    Huh?
[10:26] Takahashi
    Whoa, what's going on?!
[10:28] Utagawa
    Akira-san! Hatanaka-sensei!
[10:30] Haruaki
    Marshmallow!
[10:31] Takahashi
    Oh, dear. Looks like we're
    being whisked away.
[10:33] Hatanaka
    No way! Wait!
[10:34] Marshmallow
    But why me?!
[10:35] Haruaki
    You guys!
[10:36] Hatanaka
    Don't leave me with Takahashi!
[10:38] Sano
    Damn it. They took all the guys who probably
    wouldn't die even if you killed them.
[10:42] Haruaki
    It won't open! You dumb train!
[10:44] Haruaki
    What're you planning to
    do with those three?!
[10:46] Ebisu
    Actually...
[10:47] Ebisu
    Maybe the train wasn't after those three.
[10:50] Ebisu
    Maybe it wanted us.
[10:53] Hatanaka
    Where the hell is it taking us?!
[10:56] Takahashi
    I think if we go any, further we'll be...
[10:59] Takahashi
    outside.
[11:00] Marshmallow
    Outside!
[11:02] Takahashi
    Hatanaka-kun! Turn back into a weasel!
[11:06] Takahashi
    And we're safe.
[11:07] Hatanaka
    What the hell's the train trying to do?!
[11:10] Hatanaka
    Don't let us ride if you're
    just gonna toss us out!
[11:12] Takahashi
    Actually, I think this basically
    confirms what this train wanted to do.
[11:16] Hatanaka
    Huh?
[11:17] Ebisu
    The ones here all have something
    other than youkai blood or souls.
[11:24] Ebisu
    The three of us... well, it goes without saying.
[11:27] Ebisu
    And Utagawa-san is a gashadokuro,
    which is a bunch of human souls together...
[11:33] Ebisu
    while Nyuudou-kun is half human.
[11:37] Ebisu
    So, yeah. This train was probably
    drawn to those other than youkai.
[11:43] Haruaki
    Wait, does that mean this train is...
[11:48] Ebisu
    Yeah, it probably wants to eat us.
[11:51] Ebisu
    Well, this sucks.
[11:53] Hatanaka
    I see.
[11:55] Hatanaka
    So basically, it spit us out because it
    considered us pure youkai foreign objects.
[11:59] Takahashi
    It's like this train itself is a body.
[12:05] Hatanaka
    Damn it! Let's hurry and
    stop this monster train!
[12:08] Takahashi
    I'm so excited to examine a train!
[12:13] Hatanaka
    The hell is this?
[12:15] Takahashi
    It's a dining car. How nostalgic!
[12:18] Marshmallow
    There's some clothes floating.
[12:21] Takahashi
    This car wasn't here before...
[12:23] Hatanaka
    I guess the inside changed.
[12:26] Takahashi
    Hey. If this train's alive,
    maybe this will work?
[12:31] Hatanaka
    Hey!
[12:35] Hatanaka
    Could you ask me for permission
    before doing anything?!
[12:38] Hatanaka
    I'll be sure to tell you no!
[12:39] Marshmallow
    Hey!
[12:41] Takahashi
    Aw, they seem mad.
[12:43] Hatanaka
    Of course they are!
[12:44] Takahashi
    I'd love to take my time examining you guys,
[12:48] Takahashi
    but I'd rather not have Kuniko and
    the others get eaten by this train.
[12:52] Takahashi
    So...
[12:53] Takahashi
    I'll make these examinations quick.
[12:56] Hatanaka
    I'm way more scared of you
    than this monster train!
[13:00] Marshmallow
    Yeah!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[13:12] Hatanaka
    Well, this is a lot.
[13:13] Hatanaka
    Maybe we went too far.
[13:15] Takahashi
    Looks like it.
[13:17] Hatanaka
    Well, anyway, we need to
    get back to the others.
[13:24] Hatanaka
    Or I guess it's not gonna be that easy.
[13:27] Takahashi
    A sleeper car?
[13:29] Takahashi
    This wasn't here earlier, either.
[13:31] Hatanaka
    You know... I smell something sweet.
[13:37] Marshmallow
    What's wrong, four-eyes?
[13:39] Marshmallow
    Wait, why are you asleep?!
[13:40] Marshmallow
    Is your belly full?
[13:42] Marshmallow
    Wake up!
[13:44] Takahashi
    Looks like it didn't work on you, Marshmallow...
[13:47] Takahashi
    since you're a plant.
[13:50] Takahashi
    Seems like this scent is luring us to sleep.
[13:56] Takahashi
    I managed to stay awake because I quickly
    stabbed myself with this stimulant...
[14:00] Takahashi
    But this isn't good.
[14:02] Takahashi
    I'm so tremendously tired
    that my body won't move.
[14:08] Marshmallow
    Let him go, you old ladies!
[14:10] Marshmallow
    That four-eyes is a married man!
[14:13] Marshmallow
    This would be cheating!
[14:16] Takahashi
    You're not a youkai, are you?
[14:19] Takahashi
    Are you what's left of a human
    that was taken in by this train?
[14:23] Takahashi
    Unfortunate...
[14:25] Takahashi
    If I could move my body, I'd examine
    every single inch of a beauty like you.
[14:32] Haruaki
    I wonder if Marshmallow
    and the others are okay.
[14:34] Utagawa
    Well, Akira-san is with them.
[14:36] Haruaki
    He probably wouldn't die
    even if Earth was destroyed.
[14:39] Utagawa
    Actually, he's more like the type
    that would die laughing.
[14:43] Ebisu
    Hey.
[14:44] Ebisu
    This isn't the time to worry about others.
[14:47] Shadow
    Onboard sales. Would you like
    a boxed lunch or some tea?
[14:52] Nyuudou
    Wh-What the...
[14:55] Nyuudou
    The heck are these hands?!
[14:56] Haruaki
    Nyuudou-kun! Utagawa-san!
[14:58] Nyuudou
    Damn it! Are you trying
    to take us somewhere, too?
[15:01] Haruaki
    The door's shutting again!
[15:03] Haruaki
    I won't let you!
[15:05] Ebisu
    Oh, dear.
[15:06] Ebisu
    Looks like Abe-sensei went, too.
[15:09] Ebisu
    Goodness. It's honestly pathetic...
[15:13] Ebisu
    what a pushover he is.
[15:17] Sano
    He is.
[15:19] Sano
    He's just like how you used to be.
[15:25] Haruaki
    Let go!
[15:26] Haruaki
    I'm not letting go until you do!
[15:28] Haruaki
    Don't underestimate my persistence!
[15:30] Haruaki
    You want me to hang on to
    you the rest of your life?!
SIGN    Conductor
[15:34] Haruaki
    A conductor?
[15:35] Haruaki
    This may not work, but...
[15:37] Haruaki
    Mr. Conductor! Someone got on
    the very first car without paying!
[15:47] Utagawa
    It disappeared...
[15:48] Utagawa
    I wonder if it went to catch
    the person who didn't pay.
[15:51] Haruaki
    I guess we're safe for now.
[15:53] Nyuudou
    Uh, the ones in the very front car
    are Sano and Ebisu-sensei, right?
[15:56] Utagawa
    Hopefully we can get in touch
    with the others somehow.
[16:00] Nyuudou
    But we can't use our phones...
[16:04] Haruaki
    I know!
[16:06] Sano
    So...
[16:07] Sano
    Why did these hands come back?
[16:10] Ebisu
    Maybe...
[16:12] Ebisu
    it came back because it ate
    Abe-sensei and the others.
[16:16] Haruaki
    Ding dong dang dong!
[16:18] Haruaki
    Ah, ah, mic check. Mic check.
[16:21] Haruaki
    Sailor, sailor, I'm Haruaki!
[16:23] Ebisu
    Well, he's super chipper.
[16:25] Haruaki
    I need the following people to
    get up on the roof immediately:
[16:29] Haruaki
    Mikoto Sano-kun, Isaburou Ebisu-kun.
[16:33] Haruaki
    Izuna Hatanaka-kun, Akira
    Takahashi-kun, Marshmallow-kun.
[16:40] Gashadokuro
    Upsy-daisy.
[16:42] Gashadokuro
    Here you go.
[16:45] Haruaki
    Okay. We won't get separated
    by the doors up here.
[16:49] Haruaki
    We're safe.
[16:50] Nyuudou
    Or not!
[16:55] Ebisu
    Did we get you?
[16:56] Haruaki
    Sano-kun! Ebisu-sensei!
[16:59] Haruaki
    Did you beat that conductor?
[17:01] Sano
    Of course.
[17:02] Sano
    Where are Hatanaka and the others?
[17:05] Utagawa
    Did this thing really kill the others?
[17:08] Ebisu
    Mii-kun, look out!
[17:11] Ebisu
    Looks like it's trying to kill us for real now.
[17:14] Sano
    Th-Thank—
[17:14] Ebisu
    Watch out! It's coming again!
[17:18] Nyuudou
    Where are those even coming from?!
[17:19] Nyuudou
    We're in a tunnel!
[17:22] Nyuudou
    I can't dodge it!
[17:24] Hatanaka
    Keep your heads down!
[17:28] Haruaki
    Izuna-kun!
[17:29] Hatanaka
    Hey! We were finally able to regroup.
[17:32] Takahashi
    Oh, there you are.
[17:35] Marshmallow
    Seimei-kun!
[17:37] Haruaki
    Thank goodness! You're all safe!
[17:40] Marshmallow
    Yeah. I thought we were done for, but...
[17:45] Marshmallow
    Oh, no! They're gonna get eaten
    if we don't do something!
[17:49] Takahashi
    Ah, so you're the type
    that eats the neck first.
[17:53] Marshmallow
    In that case...
[17:56] (Flashback) Marshmallow
    Take this!
[17:58] (Flashback) Marshmallow
    The rafflesia is the world's biggest
    flower, and it's super stinky!
[18:04] (Flashback) Marshmallow
    Huh? It didn't work?
[18:06] (Flashback) Takahashi
    No, it's working.
[18:09] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Thanks to you, I can finally move again.
[18:18] Takahashi
    So yeah, Marshmallow did great.
[18:22] Marshmallow
    Well, part of me thinks you probably
    should've gotten eaten there.
[18:26] Haruaki
    Thanks for saving those two!
[18:28] Haruaki
    I'm so proud of you! You did so good!
[18:32] Hatanaka
    That aside, what are we going to do now?
[18:36] Haruaki
    I have the power to exorcise youkai.
[18:40] Haruaki
    I'll explain later.
[18:42] Haruaki
    Right now, I'd like all of you to work
    together to find out what this train really is.
[18:46] Takahashi
    I'm very curious now,
[18:48] Takahashi
    but for the time being,
    I guess I should just listen to you.
[18:55] Takahashi
    My eyes don't just appear on me.
[18:59] Takahashi
    I can make them appear
    on anything I'm touching,
[19:03] Takahashi
    and they can see souls you usually
    can't see, as well as spiritual power.
[19:07] Takahashi
    But... huh?
[19:08] Takahashi
    I checked every inch of this train, but I
    can't find a source of spiritual energy.
[19:14] Ebisu
    In that case...
[19:16] Ebisu
    Nyuudou-kun, you're a youkai
    with good eyesight, right?
[19:19] Nyuudou
    Y-Yeah...
[19:21] Ebisu
    Then can you see up ahead in the darkness?
[19:30] Nyuudou
    Wait! I see it!
[19:32] Nyuudou
    Something is pulling this train!
[19:34] Nyuudou
    That's... a kasha?
[19:36] Small Old Man
    Heave-ho.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[19:38] Small Old Man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
[19:40] Small Old Man
    Kasha.
[19:41] Small Old Man
    A youkai that appears at funerals
    and graveyards and steals corpses.
[19:46] Haruaki
    But if it's this dark, no one other
    than Nyuudou-kun can see it.
[19:50] Ebisu
    Then... I guess it's my turn.
[19:53] Ebisu
    I'll bring you to that thing, Abe-sensei.
[19:56] Haruaki
    Ebisu-sensei, can you see the kasha?
[19:58] Ebisu
    Not at all.
[20:00] Ebisu
    But I'm sure if I jump, I'll get there.
[20:03] Haruaki
    What?! Should you be that confident?!
[20:05] Ebisu
    Don't worry, I'll be fine.
[20:07] Ebisu
    Because I have good luck.
[20:10] Ebisu
    See?
[20:11] Haruaki
    Oh, right. You're a god of fortune.
[20:16] Haruaki
    So this is a kasha... It looks nothing
    like the picture in the dictionary.
[20:20] Ebisu
    Okay, now show me your powers.
[20:25] Haruaki
    Come forth...
[20:28] Haruaki
    Power to exorcise demons.
[20:30] Utako
    What is that light?
[20:33] Haruaki
    You must've ended up like this
    because you got too overwhelmed.
[20:38] Haruaki
    You must've been in a lot of pain.
[20:40] Haruaki
    Okay, we're at the final stop.
[20:59] Haruaki
    So that's your original form...
[21:02] Haruaki
    Make sure you don't do this
    again when you're reborn, okay?
[21:14] Tamao
    Seimei!
[21:18] Haruaki
    Akisame-kun?!
[21:20] Haruaki
    What's wrong?
[21:21] Tamao
    That's my line!
[21:23] Kurahashi
    Why are you all asleep here?
SIGN    Hyakki Academy Island Station
[21:26] Haruaki
    Huh? The station?!
[21:27] Haruaki
    Then it was all a dream?
[21:30] Takahashi
    Nah, we're still hurt, so it wasn't a dream.
[21:34] Utagawa
    Look!
[21:36] Haruaki
    That's... The mountain
    that had a tunnel in it.
[21:40] Haruaki
    Those lights were the souls
    eaten by the kasha...
[21:44] Haruaki
    I wonder if they're able to move on...
[21:46] Sano
    Okay, so let's finally go shopping.
[21:49] Takahashi
    By the way, weren't you carrying bags?
[21:54] Haruaki
    I left them on the train seat!
[21:56] Nyuudou
    You're kidding, right?! All of our bags
    got passed on to the next world, too?!
[22:00] Haruaki
    Oh, no... The money for the
    supplies was also in my bag!
[22:04] Haruaki
    Hey, wait!
[22:05] Haruaki
    Don't pass on just yet!

Season 1

20 - The Night Parade Cultural Festival

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] Haruaki
    The cultural festival at Hyakki
    Academy is about to begin!
SIGN    Photo
    Studio
SIGN    Candy
    Store
SIGN    Spica
SIGN    Box Office
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Diner
SIGN    Basketball
    Team
SIGN    Eating Contest
[00:05] Haruaki
    With everyone busy preparing for
    tomorrow's Night Parade Cultural Festival,
[00:09] Haruaki
    the whole school is in party mode this week!
[00:12] Haruaki
    Today, we're in the home stretch!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[01:45] Haruaki
    I bought some late-night snacks!
[01:47] Haruaki
    Wait, are you guys okay?
[01:49] Marshmallow
    Is Class 3 doin' a haunted house?
    The guys playing the corpses are really good.
SIGN    Episode 20
    "The Night Parade
    Cultural Festival"
[01:53] Haruaki
    Uh, there really are corpses everywhere!
[01:57] Haruaki
    Are you guys okay?
[01:58] Nyuudou
    No, we're not.
[02:00] Nyuudou
    We've been preparing every day
    this week. How are you okay?
[02:04] Haruaki's Brain
    Adrenalin-lin!
[02:06] Haruaki
    Maybe my brain's just too
    worked up with excitement!
[02:09] Nyuudou
    Bet he's the type that can't sleep
    the night before a field trip.
[02:12] Utagawa
    Then we'll just have to get him
    to work even harder for us.
[02:15] Nyuudou
    Yeah. Okay, help us
    make the wallpaper here.
[02:19] Haruaki
    Okay!
[02:21] Haruaki
    Thank goodness.
[02:22] Haruaki
    Even after everything, Nyuudou-kun and
    Utagawa-san are the same as usual.
SIGN    A Few Days Ago
[02:27] Nyuudou
    I see.
[02:29] Nyuudou
    So you're the descendant of the
    great onmyouji Abe no Seimei,
[02:33] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    and you inherited the power
    to exorcise youkai.
[02:36] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    You've been hired by the principal to
    learn how to properly use those powers.
[02:40] (Flashback) Haruaki
    That's pretty much it.
[02:44] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Nothing like the rumors at all, then.
[02:46] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Rumors?
SIGN    Dad
[02:48] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    We heard that the principal
    owed your parents money,
[02:49] Haruaki
    I got a giant booger!
[02:51] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    so he couldn't say no when it came
    to hiring their failure of a son.
[02:54] (Flashback) Utagawa
    And that you were a new
    type of uniform youkai
[02:57] (Flashback) Utagawa
    that the principal hired because he
    was just so intrigued at your rarity.
[03:01] (Flashback) Haruaki
    What do you all actually think of me?
[03:04] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    But why'd you keep this a secret?
[03:07] (Flashback) Haruaki
    W-Well...
[03:09] (Flashback) Sano
    You guys would all be scared
    if you knew he had that power.
[03:13] (Flashback) Sano
    If the students he became close
    to were to push him away...
[03:18] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    Well... Yeah, that would be rough.
[03:21] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I can't blame you guys for being scared.
[03:24] (Flashback) Haruaki
    It's like being next to
    someone holding a time bomb.
[03:28] (Flashback) Utagawa
    But we would've died back there with
    the kasha if it wasn't for you, Sensei.
[03:34] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Maybe that's exactly why the
    principal brought you here.
[03:37] (Flashback) Utagawa
    To help us during those times.
[03:38] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    For example, Seimei...
[03:40] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    What do you think when you see my face?
[03:43] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I-I think you're a handsome guy.
[03:45] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    Huh? Th-Thanks... Wait, no!
[03:48] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    Before you came to this school,
    if you happened to pass by me at night,
[03:52] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    you would've run away, right?
[03:53] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    At the least, if we knew about your powers
    the day you became our teacher,
[03:56] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    we'd probably all be on guard.
[03:59] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    But we've been watching you do
    the best you can as our teacher.
[04:05] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    In other words, you're amazing.
[04:09] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    So let's stop the bootlicking.
[04:12] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    That was sorta cheesy, huh?
[04:15] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    With these looks, I guess I can't help myself.
[04:19] (Flashback) Haruaki
    You're so cool!
[04:21] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    R-Really?
[04:23] Renjou
    Everyone, your outfits
    for tomorrow are ready.
[04:25] Renjou
    Could you try them on... Oh?
[04:28] Renjou
    Are you the only ones here?
[04:29] Nyuudou
    The people in clubs have
    their club projects, too,
[04:32] Nyuudou
    so that's where they are now.
[04:34] Renjou
    Well, that just won't do.
[04:36] Mandragora
    Yay!
[04:37] Haruaki
    So, yeah...
[04:39] Haruaki
    We got asked to get the ones in clubs
    because we have nothing better to do.
[04:42] Sano
    You're the only one with nothing better to do.
[04:44] Sano
    I'm just tagging along so you don't get lost.
SIGN    Spica
SIGN    Small Theater
SIGN    Spica
SIGN    Candy
    Store
SIGN    Table Tennis
    Club
SIGN    Candy
    Store
SIGN    Photo Studio
SIGN    Tons of
    photo spots!
[04:48] Haruaki
    Wow, it doesn't even look
    like the gym anymore!
SIGN    Minigames
[04:52] Toubyou
    Hey, what's up? Come to check up on us?
SIGN    Minigames
SIGN    Minigames
SIGN    Minigames
SIGN    Minigames
SIGN    Minigames
SIGN    Minigames
SIGN    Minigames
SIGN    Minigames
[04:55] Haruaki
    What's the basketball team going to do?
SIGN    Big Eater
SIGN    Eating Contest
SIGN    Get a prize if you beat our captain
SIGN    Seeking only
    the strong
SIGN    No time
    for the weak
[04:57] Toubyou
    We're doing an eating contest
    against our captain.
[05:00] Haruaki
    Why is he the captain
    of the basketball team?
[05:03] Toubyou
    Oh, yeah. You should give this
    a shot tomorrow, Marshmallow.
SIGN    Get a prize if you beat our captain
SIGN    Big Eater
SIGN    Eating Contest
SIGN    Seeking only
    the strong
SIGN    No time
    for the weak
[05:07] Toubyou
    You'll make this a huge hit!
SIGN    Get a prize if you beat our captain
SIGN    Get a prize if you beat our captain
[05:08] Toubyou
    Captain, this mandragora's a big eater, too!
SIGN    Get a prize if you beat our captain
[05:12] Captain
    Uh-huh...
[05:14] Captain
    Yeah, but... you're just a plant.
[05:19] Haruaki
    H-He just provoked Marshmallow!
[05:21] Marshmallow
    I know better than to fall for
    your silly provocations.
[05:26] Marshmallow
    You're nothing but a background character.
[05:29] Haruaki
    You're insanely pissed...
[05:33] Haruaki
    Oh, yeah. Toubyou-kun,
    blah, blah, yadda, yadda.
SIGN    Blah, blah,
    yadda, yadda
[05:38] Haruaki
    Could you go back to the
    classroom for a bit?
[05:40] Toubyou
    Got it! I'll be done in about ten minutes,
    so you guys can head back first.
[05:44] Mandragora
    Dunk!
[05:46] Haruaki
    Are there any other kids
    from our class in the gym?
[05:49] Sano
    I think someone from the drama club...
[05:51] Fuji
    Huh? What are you doing here?
[05:53] Haruaki
    Fuji-kun!
[05:54] Sano
    You're in a club?
[05:56] Fuji
    Nope. I'm just helping out the drama club.
SIGN    Drama Club
SIGN    Small Theater
SIGN    Spica
SIGN    Box Office
[05:59] Fuji
    They only have guys right now, so they didn't
    have enough people to do the women's roles.
SIGN    Womanly Desires Spiral
    in This Tale of Love and Hate
    A Youkai Hostess Club Tale
    The Butterfly and the Garden
[06:05] Fuji
    This is the movie that's going to play.
[06:07] Haruaki
    This movie is about... a hostess club?
[06:09] Sano
    But why when the club is just a bunch of guys?
[06:12] Fuji
    The plot...
SIGN    Three
SIGN    Two
SIGN    One
[06:18] Fuji
    is a love-hate story about
    a guy whose wife left him,
SIGN    Life-Going-Nowhere
    Protagonist
    President
[06:21] Fuji
    so he tries to get the hostess he
    fell for into the number one spot.
[06:24] Haruaki
    That's not a story that should be
    told at a high school festival!
SIGN    The Heroine Hostess
    Touya Fuji
[06:27] Fuji
    I know you're a great guy, President.
[06:29] Haruaki
    So you're the heroine, Fuji-kun?
[06:31] Fuji
    You'll see some other familiar faces, too.
[06:34] Miki
    You'll always be fifth-rate because
    you bother with guys like him.
SIGN    The Heroine's Rival
    No. 1 Hostess
    Rintarou Miki
[06:37] Zashiki
    You don't need to worry about
    a pathetic woman like her.
SIGN    Waiter
    Beniko Zashiki
[06:41] Haruaki
    If you didn't have enough girls,
    why did you have the girls play guy roles?
[06:46] Fuji
    So, yeah. Come see us tomorrow.
[06:49] Sano
    Nah, I'm good.
[06:50] Ageha
    Abe-sensei!
[06:53] Haruaki
    Oh, the TV crew from that one time!
[06:55] Ageha
    Hey! It's been a while!
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Diner
[06:57] Ageha
    We're going to be doing a feature on
    the Hyakki Academy cultural festival!
[07:01] Ageha
    That's why we're here. See you later!
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Diner
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Diner
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Diner
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Diner
SIGN    Udon & Soba
[07:04] Haruaki
    Wow, a TV crew is actually here...
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Diner
SIGN    Udon & Soba
SIGN    Diner
[07:07] Sano
    All right, the only other one
    in a club is... Yanagida.
[07:11] Sano
    I'm pretty sure Yanagida was making the
    world's biggest firework in the science club...
[07:16] Haruaki
    Let's just get Yanagida-kun later.
[07:17] Sano
    Yeah.
SIGN    Class 2-3
SIGN    Fire
[07:22] Utagawa
    Isn't this a bit short?
[07:24] Hijita
    You look super cute!
[07:26] Tamao
    Your groveling paid off, Hijita!
[07:28] Utagawa
    Beniko-chan will be here soon.
SIGN    Fight
SIGN    You
SIGN    You
SIGN    You
SIGN    You
SIGN    You
SIGN    You
SIGN    You
SIGN    You
SIGN    You
SIGN    You
SIGN    You
SIGN    You
SIGN    Rage Gauge
SIGN    Rage Gauge
SIGN    Rage Gauge
SIGN    Rage Gauge
[07:30] Hijita
    Beniko in a Chinese dress will probably look
    like a character from a fighting game.
[07:38] Zashiki
    In that case, I'll be a hidden character, thanks.
[07:40] Nyuudou
    Hey, you look cute.
[07:42] Nyuudou
    Doesn't she look cute, Hijita?
[07:44] Hijita
    Yeah... N-Not bad...
[07:46] Zashiki
    And yet you're thinking,
[07:48] Zashiki
    "Huh? She's kinda hot.
    Even if she has no boobs."
[07:52] Zashiki
    Thanks.
[07:53] Hijita
    Could you not read exactly
    what's on my mind, please?
[07:56] Zashiki
    You're up next, boys.
[07:58] Mandragora
    Olé!
SIGN    Class 2-3
SIGN    Class 2-3
SIGN    Class 2-3
[08:00] Haruaki
    They're done changing!
[08:04] Utagawa
    You two look so cool!
[08:06] Hijita
    Yeah, those two look cool, but...
[08:10] Hijita
    Why didn't you even try with our outfits?
[08:12] Utagawa
    Sorry, our budget ran out.
[08:15] Yanagida
    Hey, did you call?
[08:17] Sano
    Gah! Yanagida!
[08:18] Yanagida
    I heard you were looking for me, Sensei.
[08:21] Haruaki
    Yanagida-kun... What do
    you have in your hands?
[08:23] Yanagida
    Oh, it's the stuff to make
    the world's biggest firework,
[08:26] Yanagida
    but I'm still in the process
    of mixing everything.
[08:29] Sano
    Don't!
[08:35] Announcement
    It is now the next day.
[08:36] Announcement
    Any students still on campus need to turn
    in a permission form to sleep over.
[08:43] Shikajima
    What? You're still here, Class 3?
[08:46] Tamao
    Oh, hey. You guys finished at Class 2?
[08:49] Shikajima
    Uh... More importantly...
[08:52] Shikajima
    What are you guys even doing for the festival?
[08:57] Tamao
    I'd like to know myself.
[08:59] Hijita
    I have a great idea!
SIGN    Class 2-3's Presentation
    A Modern Art Exhibit
    Theme: "Explosions and Rebirth"
SIGN    Class 2-3
[09:03] Hijita
    How 'bout that?
[09:04] All
    Yeah, right!
[09:06] Tamao
    Even if the outfits and props are
    done, if our stage looks like this...
[09:11] Haruaki
    Stage...
[09:13] Haruaki
    That's it!
SIGN    Welcome to the
SIGN    Empire of Dreams
[09:16] Ageha
    I hear Class 2-4 built an amusement park.
[09:20] Nezumi-sensei
    We call it The Empire of Dreams: Mousey Land.
[09:23] Nezumi-sensei
    We kinda pushed it a bit...
[09:24] Haruaki
    Ageha-san!
[09:26] Ageha
    What's the matter, Abe-sensei?
[09:28] Nezumi-sensei
    Hey! Don't interrupt my squeakin' interview!
[09:31] Haruaki
    I have a favor to ask.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Live
SIGN    Reporting Live from
    Hyakki Academy's
    Night Parade Cultural Festival!!
SIGN    Reporter: Nakano
[09:44] Nakano
    I am currently at Hyakki
    Academy's cultural festival.
[09:48] Nakano
    Today and tomorrow, many youkai
    from all over the country
[09:53] Nakano
    will be coming to Hyakki Academy Island to
    enjoy the Night Parade Cultural Festival!
[09:59] Nakano
    Now, let's catch someone for an interview.
[10:02] Nakano
    Oh, excuse me, sir.
[10:04] Karasuma
    Huh? Me?
SIGN    Candied Apples
SIGN    Specialty Grilled Squid
[10:06] Nakano
    What are you looking forward
    to the most today?
[10:09] Karasuma
    Let's see...
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
    Night Parade Cultural Festival
[10:11] Karasuma
    Probably eating all the free food I can
[10:14] Karasuma
    using these tickets I worked
    so hard on forging yesterday.
[10:20] Principal
    Oh, really? I'll be taking those tickets.
[10:23] Mandragora
    Zoom!
[10:25] Karasuma
    Oh, come on! You can cut me some slack
    during the cultural festival, at least!
[10:28] Principal
    So, uh... what name are
    you going by currently?
[10:32] Karasuma
    I'm currently Ranmaru Karasuma.
[10:35] Principal
    In that case, Ranmaru-san...
[10:37] Principal
    I'm on my way to observe Haruaki-kun's class.
[10:40] Principal
    Would you like to tag along?
[10:42] Karasuma
    Well, well... It's rare for you to
    invite me out on a date, Acchan.
SIGN    Human Labyrinth
[10:48] Karasuma
    A human labyrinth?
[10:50] Principal
    All I know about it is that it's
    some kind of escape room.
[10:53] Principal
    Haruaki-kun suddenly asked me yesterday
[10:55] Principal
    to connect the classroom
    with a certain place.
[10:58] Karasuma
    So once we go past these doors,
    it leads to somewhere else?
SIGN    Pricing
SIGN    Entrance
SIGN    Entrance
[11:04] Hijita
    Ooh! Welcome, sir!
[11:07] Hijita
    If you don't have a ticket,
    it's 300 yen each or 500 yen for two buddies.
SIGN    Box Office
[11:11] Hijita
    As for couples...
[11:12] Karasuma
    There's even a couple's discount?
[11:15] Hijita
    Nah. Couples have to pay 1,000 yen per person.
[11:18] Hijita
    If you were previously in
    a relationship, 700 yen.
[11:21] Hijita
    If you're the ace of a sports team, 600 yen.
[11:23] Hijita
    If you're a hot guy, 2,000 yen.
[11:24] Hijita
    If you're not a virgin, 5,000 yen.
[11:26] Karasuma
    Those sure are some hate-filled prices.
[11:30] Hijita
    Well? You're both pretty old.
    I'm sure you have plenty of experience.
[11:34] Principal
    Oh, there's my ticket. Let us in, please.
SIGN    Did you think that ticket was real?
    I stayed up late making those
    They're fake, you moron
    Forged tickets
    They're seriously fake?
    They're pretty well made.
    Wow
    Forged Tickets
SIGN    No
    Trespassing
[11:41] Principal
    This is quite the set.
[11:44] Hijita
    At first, we had a cardboard
    maze, but that got destroyed.
[11:47] Ageha
    Blah, blah, yadda, yadda.
[11:48] Hijita
    Seimei asked a buddy of his who works at
    a TV station to help us borrow a TV studio.
[11:49] Ageha
    OMG, thank you so much!
[11:53] Hijita
    Oh, yeah! Before you go in...
[12:00] Principal
    Huh?
[12:01] Hijita
    The purpose of this maze is
    not to escape it, but rather,
[12:04] Hijita
    you must find the key to
    unlock your handcuffs.
[12:06] Principal
    What? Then I'd rather do this alone.
[12:10] Hijita
    If you want to do it alone,
    these are your restraints.
[12:13] Principal
    Ah, then pair it is.
SIGN    Entrance
SIGN    Entrance
[12:15] Hijita
    All right! Have a great time!
SIGN    Exit
[12:22] Principal
    Did you just hear a scream?
[12:25] Haruaki
    Welcome to the Human Labyrinth.
[12:27] Haruaki
    I am the manager here, Mysteryaki.
[12:30] Marshmallow
    I'm his assistant, Mysterymallow.
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
SIGN    Meat Roll Alley
SIGN    Take a photo
    with a cute uniform!
[12:32] Haruaki
    My students in this labyrinth will be
    playing either a youkai or a human.
[12:39] Haruaki
    The ones playing students have keys,
[12:42] Haruaki
    so if you find any, ask them if they are human.
[12:46] Haruaki
    But you can only ask them once.
[12:48] Haruaki
    If you're wrong, you fail.
[12:50] Marshmallow
    Also, if you don't find them
    within 30 minutes, you fail.
[12:54] Haruaki
    If you fail, as punishment,
[12:56] Haruaki
    you will have to enjoy the rest of the
    festival today wearing a cute uniform.
[13:01] Haruaki
    Also, you'll have to take a photo with me.
[13:05] Haruaki
    Also, there are people giving out hints,
    so getting a hint from them is one strategy.
[13:10] Haruaki
    Now, I will give you a hint myself for
    listening to my whole explanation.
[13:14] Haruaki
    I am a human, and Marshmallow is a youkai.
[13:17] Marshmallow
    Yup.
[13:18] Haruaki
    That is all. Do your best out there.
[13:21] Karasuma
    They put way more work
    into this than I thought.
[13:23] Principal
    A cute uniform? You can't be serious.
[13:26] Principal
    I have my pride as the principal.
[13:30] Momoyama
    And you're out of time.
[13:32] Toubyou
    You'll be punished with uniforms!
[13:34] Momoyama
    We'll let you be humiliated
    in front of the masses.
[13:39] Randos
    No! We don't want to end up like Class 3!
[13:42] Karasuma
    I'm probably the last person
    who should bring this up,
[13:42] Randos
    Just kill me now!
[13:45] Karasuma
    but what are you teaching your teachers?
[13:48] Principal
    A-Anyway, let's look for some hints.
[13:55] Principal
    And what are you two doing?
[13:58] Hatanaka
    We could ask you the same thing.
[14:00] Hatanaka
    Haruaki said he wanted us
    to come, so we came.
[14:03] Miki
    And he gave us free tickets.
[14:05] Principal
    Surprising, considering Haruaki-kun
    is stingy and could've easily gotten
[14:09] Principal
    a not-virgin fee of 5,000 yen from Izuna-kun...
[14:12] Karasuma
    Are you not a not-virgin?
[14:14] Miki
    Leave me be!
[14:16] Principal
    Just what is that fool plotting?
[14:20] Hatanaka
    More importantly, we
    don't have time for this.
[14:23] Miki
    That's right! We're going
    to fail in ten minutes!
[14:25] Mamekichi
    Hints!
[14:27] Mamekichi
    I've got hints for you guys! Get your hints!
[14:29] Tamao
    Hints, hints, hints!
[14:30] Miki
    Hey, hint guys! Give us a hint!
[14:32] Mamekichi
    Only if you correctly answer this question.
SIGN    Fish
[14:35] Hatanaka
    You're not gonna tell us for free?!
SIGN    Language | Class 2-3 Akisame
SIGN    Language | Class 2-3 Akisame
SIGN    Language | Class 2-3 Akisame
SIGN    Language | Class 2-3 Akisame
SIGN    Language | Class 2-3 Akisame
SIGN    Language | Class 2-3 Akisame
[14:37] Mamekichi
    Here's your question!
SIGN    Language | Class 2-3 Akisame
[14:39] Mamekichi
    Here is a test answer sheet from an
    idiot I know who always scores 0%.
[14:44] Hatanaka
    You also always get 0%.
[14:46] Mamekichi
    But he happened to miraculously
    score a five on this test!
SIGN    Question 3
SIGN    Language
SIGN    Question 1
SIGN    Question 2
SIGN    Class 2-3 Akisame
SIGN    4
SIGN    5
SIGN    3
SIGN    2
SIGN    1
SIGN    Kanpamella
SIGN    Jovanya
SIGN    Question 3
SIGN    Question 3
[14:50] Mamekichi
    Within a minute, guess the name of the novel
[14:52] Mamekichi
    the test was about from
    the answers on this sheet.
[14:55] Hatanaka
    How the hell should we know?!
[14:57] Miki
    Wait... The answers for these questions...
[14:59] Miki
    They're probably kanji vocab
    questions from a reading passage.
[15:03] Miki
    Only idiots know how other idiots think.
[15:05] Miki
    Hatanaka-kun, can you figure
    out Akisame-kun's answers?
SIGN    Star-looking pole
SIGN    Drain
SIGN    Question 5
SIGN    Hattori
SIGN    Ruttori
SIGN    Cube sugar
SIGN    Some smart jerk named Osamu with Miya and
    Shaku in
    his name
[15:10] Hatanaka
    Let's see...
[15:11] Hatanaka
    Star-looking pole... Oh, a telescope.
SIGN    Telescope
[15:14] Hatanaka
    "Drain" is probably "train" miswritten.
SIGN    Train
[15:16] Hatanaka
    Some smart jerk named Osamu with
    Miya and Shaku in his name...
[15:19] Hatanaka
    Jerk? Smart? Osamu?
SIGN    Kenji Miyazawa
[15:24] Miki
    He must mean Kenji Miyazawa!
[15:26] Miki
    I see. I'm not sure how he basically
    misread every single kanji in his name,
SIGN    Kenji Miyazawa
SIGN    Some smart jerk named
    Osamu with Miya and
    Shaku in his name
SIGN    Kenji Miyazawa
[15:31] Miki
    but great job, Hatanaka!
[15:33] Miki
    The answer is A Night on the Galactic
    Railroad
by Kenji Miyazawa.
SIGN    A Night on the Galactic Railroad
    by Kenji Miyazawa
SIGN    Correct
[15:38] Mamekichi
    Correct!
[15:40] Mamekichi
    Okay, here's your hint.
    Why are we all hiding our faces?
[15:45] Hatanaka
    There's an actual reason other than
    it's just for this whole setup?
[15:49] Miki
    Oh! I see! I've got it!
[15:53] Hatanaka
    Oh, so that's how it is!
[15:56] Karasuma
    Really?!
[15:57] Hatanaka
    All right! He's up above,
    isn't he? Let's go, Rintarou!
[16:01] Miki
    Do your best, sir, so you don't
    end up in a cute uniform!
SIGN    Hyakki
    Academy
[16:07] Karasuma
    You're not gonna tell us the answer?!
SIGN    Hyakki
    Academy
SIGN    Hyakki
    Academy
SIGN    Hyakki
    Academy
SIGN    Hyakki
    Academy
[16:10] Principal
    Of course those two aren't
    going to be that considerate.
[16:14] Principal
    We will also answer a question.
[16:17] Hatanaka
    Look! There he is!
[16:20] Hatanaka
    Hey, you!
[16:26] Ogoso
    This was a fake floor
    created by my youkai magic.
[16:32] Hatanaka
    Damn it, what the hell?!
[16:36] Haruaki
    Hatanaka and Miki, your time is up!
[16:38] Hatanaka
    What?! No one said anything about traps!
[16:41] Hatanaka
    Ain't no way in hell I'm
    wearing a cute uniform!
[16:44] Hatanaka
    I'll cut this chain and ru—
[16:45] Haruaki
    Not happening!
[16:46] Miki
    What?!
[16:50] Marshmallow
    That cage has youkai-sealing talismans
    all over it so you can't escape!
[16:54] Marshmallow
    Give it up! Seimei-kun's super
    scary when uniforms are involved!
[16:58] Haruaki
    Hey, hey, hey, hey!
[17:01] Haruaki
    Why are you trying to run away?
[17:03] Haruaki
    We're about to take lots
    of pictures together!
[17:09] Relative 1
    That's my son's teacher...
[17:12] Relative 2
    Oh, dear. What's going on with the teachers?
[17:14] Hatanaka
    Er, we lost a game...
    Today's the cultural fair, after all.
[17:20] Female student
    Mikity, what happened?
[17:22] Female student
    You look so cute!
[17:24] Miki
    Er... Sorry I actually look good in this
     and you have to be embarrassed alone.
[17:29] Hatanaka
    Shut up!
SIGN    Human Labyrinth
[17:33] Haruaki
    Man... My collection's growing.
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
SIGN    I made this my
    home screen background
[17:35] Marshmallow
    You're insanely creepy
    when uniforms are involved.
[17:39] Haruaki
    It's not my only motive to get
    selfies with the cute uniforms!
[17:43] Marshmallow
    What? You're gonna do
    something even creepier?
[17:46] Haruaki
    That's... the principal!
[17:49] Haruaki
    The principal coming was a happy
    miscalculation I wasn't expecting!
[17:53] Haruaki
    I'm going to get them into uniforms and
    see my plan through no matter what.
[18:00] Tamao
    Here's your question!
[18:01] Tamao
    You probably don't know this, but our
    homeroom teacher is a huge weirdo!
[18:05] Principal
    I'm very aware.
[18:06] Tamao
    And this is a photo of said teacher
    getting yelled at by his students.
SIGN    He ate lunch early
    in class
SIGN    He passed notes in class
SIGN    He held a class on
    his shitty poem called
    "Me and My Sailor Uniform"
[18:12] Tamao
    What is the reason he's getting yelled at?
[18:14] Tamao
    One, he at lunch early during class.
[18:17] Tamao
    Two, he participated in passing
    notes to students during class.
[18:21] Tamao
    Three, he held a class on his shitty poem
    called "Me and My Sailor Uniform."
[18:25] Karasuma
    I have no idea!
[18:27] Principal
    I'm shocked that he's actually
    done at least one of these things.
[18:32] Karasuma
    Wait. He's holding a pen.
[18:34] Karasuma
    The answer is two!
[18:36] Principal
    There's a possibility it's three, isn't there?
[18:38] Karasuma
    He's in the middle of class,
    so if it was the poem,
[18:40] Karasuma
    wouldn't a teacher be holding
    chalk instead of a pen?
[18:43] Principal
    True...
[18:44] Karasuma
    So the answer is two!
    He passed around notes!
[18:47] Tamao
    You are correct!
[18:49] Tamao
    Okay, your hint is: Seimei is playing a human,
    and Marshmallow is playing a youkai.
[18:55] Karasuma
    We already heard that earlier!
[18:57] Principal
    No, it's just slightly different.
    They mentioned "playing."
[19:01] Karasuma
    Which means...
[19:03] Karasuma
    it doesn't matter that he's actually a human,
    but he's playing the role of a human?
[19:08] Karasuma
    Along with the hint that
    the two teachers got,
[19:11] Karasuma
    the one about everyone in this class
    wearing masks for some reason...
[19:15] Tamao
    Hey! You eavesdropped!
[19:17] Karasuma
    You should probably learn to whisper.
[19:20] Principal
    Masks and playing roles...
[19:22] Principal
    I see!
[19:23] Principal
    The masks are the roles they're playing!
[19:26] Principal
    Up until now, all the students
    were wearing oni or animal masks,
[19:29] Principal
    meaning they're not human.
[19:31] Principal
    But Haruaki-kun had a human mask on.
[19:34] Karasuma
    I see. And those two headed up,
[19:38] Karasuma
    so they must've found someone
    up there wearing a human mask.
[19:43] Principal
    There's no time. Let's hurry.
[19:46] Sano
    There's no one beating this game.
[19:50] Sano
    Miki and Hatanaka got close, but even
    I didn't know the floor would disappear.
[19:54] Nyuudou
    Seimei's pretty ruthless today.
[19:57] Karasuma
    Got him!
[19:59] Karasuma
    He's got a human mask on!
[20:02] Haruaki
    Not happening!
[20:04] Haruaki
    You two can fall, too!
[20:06] Karasuma and Principal
    Huh?
[20:12] Karasuma
    Uh... Did you forget
    that I'm a karasu tengu?
[20:15] Haruaki
    Crap! He's never done anything youkai-like,
    so I didn't consider that!
[20:20] Marshmallow
    They only have 30 seconds left, too.
[20:22] Karasuma
    And you're a human!
[20:24] Marshmallow
    Oh, no! I dropped a 10,000 yen bill!
[20:28] Karasuma
    A 10,000 yen bill?!
[20:29] Karasuma
    10,000! 10,000!
[20:31] Principal
    Hold it! We don't have time—
[20:33] Karasuma
    I don't care if I have to wear a
    uniform! I want that 10,000 yen!
SIGN    Café
    Mandragora
SIGN    Mandragora Cultural Festival
SIGN    Café Mandragora
    Coupon
SIGN    Mandra
SIGN    Location: Roof
SIGN    Cultural Fair Committee
[20:41] Karasuma
    That's not the bill I wanted!
[20:45] Marshmallow
    And you're out of time!
[20:47] Haruaki
    Way to go, Marshmallow!
    You're the smartest plant ever!
[20:50] Principal
    You jerk! How could you fall
    for that obvious ruse?!
[20:54] Karasuma
    Well, you looked back at it, too!
[20:56] Haruaki
    Okay, you two! It's uniform time!
[20:59] Karasuma
    Damn it! Haruaki-kun was
    just too powerful today.
[21:03] Haruaki
    Well, I have an important plan.
[21:06] Karasuma
    Plan?
[21:08] Haruaki
    This has always bothered me...
[21:11] Haruaki
    Why does society think that only girls
    in their teens can wear sailor uniforms?
[21:17] Haruaki
    Because of that, uniform
    lovers are called lolicons!
[21:21] Haruaki
    So while the TV crew is here,
[21:23] Haruaki
    I'm gonna have old guy teachers
    like you wear sailor uniforms, too,
[21:26] Haruaki
    and have the world realize...
[21:28] Black oni
    Even old guys look good in them!
[21:31] Haruaki
    ...just how amazing sailor uniforms are,
[21:34] Haruaki
    and be able to wear sailor uniforms
    like they were jeans,
[21:37] Haruaki
    regardless of age and gender
    or if they're human or youkai!
[21:41] Haruaki
    This is my World-Wide Sailor Uniform Plan!
[21:44] Karasuma
    What an epic plan...
[21:47] Principal
    Don't involve me in that crap.
[21:50] Marshmallow
    Okay, I'm taking the picture! Say, "Sailor!"
[21:53] Principal
    I've never been so humiliated in my life...
[21:57] Haruaki
    Lick, lick. You both look great!
[21:59] Karasuma
    Wait, you're not going to wear one?
[22:02] Karasuma
    After all this shouting
    about sailor uniforms?
[22:04] Haruaki
    What? But that'd be embarrassing!
[22:07] All
    What?!

Season 1

21 - The Underground Night Parade Cultural Festival

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Cultural Festival Day 2
SIGN    Hyakki Academy
SIGN    Youkai Life Counseling
SIGN    Art Room
[00:09] Haruaki
    Thank goodness the second day of the
    cultural festival started without a hitch.
SIGN    Welcome
SIGN    Prep Room
[00:18] Kurai
    Sorry about that.
[00:19] Haruaki
    No, I'm sorry.
[00:23] Haruaki
    Who the heck was that?
[00:26] Haruaki
    He was dressed suspiciously.
[00:28] Haruaki
    Sunglasses and a mask...
[00:32] Haruaki
    Huh? Akisame-kun?
[00:35] Tamao
    Huh?
SIGN    Night Parade Cultural Festival Day 2
[00:38] Haruaki
    You're going to the basement
    to get some supplies?
[00:40] Tamao
    Yeah.
[00:41] Tamao
    But there's an urban legend
    that says you'll get cursed
[00:45] Tamao
    if you go to the basement
    during the cultural festival.
[00:47] Haruaki
    Huh, I had no idea...
[00:50] Tamao
    I swore that I'd never go there...
[00:53] (Flashback) All
    Shoot!
[00:54] Tamao
    But I lost at rock-paper-scissors!
[00:56] Haruaki
    Why didn't you use your human form?
[00:58] Tamao
    Oh, yeah! You're right!
SIGN    First-Year Schedule
SIGN    First-Year Schedule
SIGN    First-Year Schedule
SIGN    First-Year Schedule
[01:02] Haruaki
    Then why don't we go
    get the stuff together?
[01:05] Tamao
    But keep this a secret
    from everyone else, okay?
[01:09] Harauki
    Okay!
SIGN    B1
SIGN    1
SIGN    2
SIGN    3
SIGN    4
SIGN    5
SIGN    6
[01:13] Haruaki
    By the way, what supplies do you need?
[01:17] Haruaki
    Huh?
SIGN    Cultural Festival
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Tea Party
SIGN    Underground
    Cultural Festival
SIGN    Underground
    Cultural Festival
SIGN    Big
    Flame
    Buns
SIGN    Cultural Festival
SIGN    Episode 21
    "The Underground
    Night Parade
    Cultural Festival"
SIGN    Underground
    Cultural
    Festival
[02:59] Tamao
    Wh-What the heck is all this?
[03:01] Haruaki
    I didn't hear anything about an
    underground cultural festival...
SIGN    Cultural
    Festival
[03:05] Tamao
    The basement's not even that big...
[03:09] Haruaki
    I wonder if it leads to somewhere
    else, like our classroom.
[03:13] Tamao
    What?
[03:14] Tamao
    But then where's the storeroom
    for the supplies?
[03:17] Haruaki
    Good point...
[03:19] Haruaki
    Let's have a look around.
[03:20] Tamao
    Huh?!
[03:23] Haruaki
    I mean, it honestly looks pretty fun.
[03:26] Tamao
    What? Really? It seems
    pretty creepy to me.
[03:31] Haruaki
    It doesn't look like there are any
    youkai-looking people here.
[03:34] Tamao
    And that's why it's creepy...
    Especially when this place is so huge.
[03:38] Haruaki
    Oh! There's a haunted house!
SIGN    This Is a Real Haunted House
[03:40] Haruaki
    Maybe there are youkai there.
[03:42] Tamao
    I'm not going in!
SIGN    Cultural
    Festival
[03:44] Tamao
    You're surprisingly okay
    with ghosts, Seimei.
SIGN    Get your baby castella
    right up here!
[03:48] Haruaki
    I think I'm just more scared
    of delinquents than ghosts,
[03:51] Haruaki
    plus I'm used to them.
[03:53] Tamao
    Hey, there's someone suspicious down there.
[03:57] Haruaki
    Hey! I saw him upstairs.
[04:00] Haruaki
    He bumped into me and then
     ran off like he was in a hurry.
[04:04] Tamao
    Maybe he's a thief!
[04:07] Haruaki
    The way his face was
    covered seemed suspicious.
[04:09] Haruaki
    The principal did say there were a lot
    of pickpockets at the cultural festival.
SIGN    Get your baby castella
    right up here!
[04:14] Haruaki
    Let's go talk to him.
[04:16] Tamao
    Okay!
[04:18] Tamao
    Hey, you! The really suspicious-looking guy!
[04:21] Haruaki
    Um... Are you one of
    the students' guardians?
[04:25] Haruaki
    Could we talk for a second?
[04:27] Kurai
    Why are you so far away?
[04:28] Tamao
    Shut up! Don't go underestimating
    the cowardly duo!
[04:31] Haruaki
    It'd be really scary if you were a bad guy!
[04:34] Kurai
    Um... You're Abe-sensei and
    Tamao Akisame-kun, right?
[04:39] Tamao
    What? Why do you have our
    personal information?
[04:43] Kurai
    I'm not actually suspicious.
[04:46] Kurai
    I just accidentally wandered
    in here, just like you two.
[04:51] Kurai
    I'm Kurai, an alumnus of Hyakki Academy.
[04:56] Kurai
    Pleasure to make your acquaintance.
[04:58] Haruaki
    Oh, you're an alumnus...
[05:00] Tamao
    Why are you dressed so suspiciously?
[05:03] Kurai
    Ah... I wear a mask because I'm
    a bit insecure about my mouth.
[05:08] Haruaki
    I wonder if it's something like this.
[05:09] Kuchisake Onna
    Am I beautiful?
[05:11] Kurai
    Someone in my family is at this
    school, but they told me not to come,
SIGN    Absolutely do not come
SIGN    I'll be coming on
    the second day of
    the cultural festival
SIGN    I said don't come
[05:17] Kurai
    so I came to see what was going on.
[05:20] Kurai
    I was about to be found, so I panicked
    and escaped to another floor...
SIGN    B1
SIGN    2
SIGN    3
SIGN    4
SIGN    5
SIGN    6
SIGN    1
SIGN    Cultural Festival
SIGN    Tea Party
SIGN    Underground
    Cultural Festival
SIGN    Underground
    Cultural Festival
SIGN    Big
    Flame
    Buns
SIGN    Underground Cultural Festival
[05:25] Kurai
    and somehow ended up in this bizarre place.
[05:29] Haruaki
    I see. By the way, how did
    you know who we are?
[05:35] Announcer
    We will begin our lantern release soon.
[05:38] Announcer
    Please look above.
[05:40] Haruaki
    Lantern release?
[05:42] Kurai
    Is something the matter?
[05:48] Haruaki
    Wow!
[05:49] Tamao
    What's all this?
[05:51] Kurai
    Lanterns?
[05:54] Haruaki
    How pretty...
SIGN    Lantern Release
    Please write a wish
[06:01] Haruaki
    Oh! You can write a wish to
    go up with the lantern, too!
SIGN    Lantern Release
    Please write a wish
[06:05] Honda
    That's right. Did you
    want to write one, too?
[06:08] Haruaki
    In that case... "May everyone
    stay healthy and happy."
SIGN    May everyone
    stay healthy
    and happy
[06:12] Haruaki
    May my class's average score go up.
SIGN    May my class's
    average score go up
SIGN    May I get
    a raise
[06:16] Haruaki
    Also, may I get a raise!
[06:18] Haruaki
    Oh, and I want some rare uniforms!
[06:20] Honda
    You sure wrote a lot.
[06:22] Haruaki
    Huh?
[06:23] Haruaki
    Hey, have we met before?
[06:27] Honda
    Ah, so you remembered.
    I'm happy to hear that.
[06:31] Haruaki
    Huh? But when was it?
[06:34] Tamao
    What the heck is Seimei doing?
[06:35] Kurai
    This is like the lantern
    float they do during Obon.
[06:40] Tamao
    Like... a root beer float?
[06:43] Kurai
    A lantern float.
[06:44] Kurai
    It's a ritual that takes place during
    Obon where people light lanterns
[06:47] Kurai
    and send them down the
    river to honor the dead.
[06:50] Kurai
    Now that I think about it,
    today's the autumnal equinox.
[06:54] Haruaki
    A black sailor uniform!
[06:56] Tamao
    Seriously, what?
[06:57] Kurai
    Er, the autumnal equinox is—
[06:59] Haruaki
    Yay!
[07:00] Tamao
    Hey, Seimei! Where are you going?!
SIGN    Underground Cultural Festival
SIGN    Underground Cultural Festival
[07:03] Haruaki
    Huh? I somehow lost them.
[07:06] Haruaki
    It was just like the lovely black
    sailor suit I saw at the school camp.
SIGN    Secondhand Book Fair
[07:12] Haruaki
    Wow, there's even a secondhand
    book fair down here.
[07:15] Haruaki
    And they only have books
    that are out of print. How fun!
SIGN    And so, the
    cursed book
    sucked in
    everyone
    around it.
[07:20] Haruaki
    Then again, ugh, secondhand books...
SIGN    And then they
    became a part of the
    cast of characters
    to forever
    entertain readers.
[07:22] Haruaki
    I'm still traumatized from that
    one cursed secondhand book.
SIGN    Author
    Photo
SIGN    Kotoba Honda
SIGN    Born in Tokyo
[07:25] Haruaki
    Oh, that's right! That guy is
    the author of the cursed book!
SIGN    Author
    Photo
SIGN    Kotoba Honda
[07:31] Haruaki
    But wait... That guy died... Huh?
[07:35] Haruaki
    Come to think of it,
    that black sailor uniform...
SIGN    Heaven Hell
SIGN    Secondhand Book Fair
[07:41] Haruaki
    N-Now I'm getting scared.
[07:44] Haruaki
    I need to find the other two and
    hurry back up to a higher floor.
[07:47] Conductor
    Hey...
[07:47] Conductor
    Mister. You on your own?
SIGN    Train
    Cat Café
[07:50] Conductor
    We're running a train cat café.
[07:52] Conductor
    You can even eat real station bentos.
[07:54] Haruaki
    Yeah, I definitely remember this
    since it happened just recently!
[07:59] Conductor
    What are you talking about?
[08:00] Haruaki
    I almost died on a train!
[08:02] Conductor
    Oh, don't be like that.
[08:05] Haruaki
    Save me!
[08:09] Renka
    Could you be Haruaki Abe-sensei?
[08:12] Haruaki
    Who are you?
[08:13] Renka
    I knew it!
[08:15] Renka
    Your cowlick is just as my son described it!
[08:18] Renka
    Come on. Let's go have a chat over here.
[08:20] Conductor
    You two can chat at our café!
[08:22] Renka
    That's quite all right!
[08:27] Haruaki
    Thank you so much. You saved me.
[08:30] Renka
    I came here hoping to see my son,
    but I had no idea this festival was going on.
[08:36] Haruaki
    Ah... Did you accidentally wander in, too?
[08:40] Renka
    Truly, your cowlick is as
    magnificent as my son said.
[08:46] Haruaki
    Oh, yeah. You're one of my students' parents.
[08:48] Renka
    My son talks about you all the time.
    It always gives me a good laugh.
[08:52] Haruaki
    Laugh?
[08:53] Renka
    Like when you caught a giant human-faced
    fish while cleaning the pool,
[08:56] Renka
    ended up in a loincloth
    during the sports day,
[08:59] Renka
    and got mistaken for a youkai
    at one of your students' homes.
SIGN    Oni
[09:04] Haruaki
    Man, I pretty much suck.
[09:08] Haruaki
    Um... So whose mom are you?
[09:11] Renka
    Whose mom do you think I am?
[09:13] Tamao
    Hmm... Seimei disappeared around here.
[09:18] Kurai
    I don't even sense his presence.
[09:21] Tamao
    Seimei was acting really weird.
[09:24] Kurai
    I figured he was pretty
    strange to begin with.
[09:28] Tamao
    But he was acting weird in a different way.
[09:31] Tamao
    I mean, he said this place seemed fun...
[09:36] Tamao
    But what exactly about
    these ruins seems fun?
[09:40] Tamao
    I wonder if Seimei was seeing
    something different than us.
[09:45] Kurai
    Anyway, we should probably find Abe-sensei.
[09:49] Kurai
    If we don't, he might get
    sucked into this place.
[09:53] Tamao
    Say what?!
[09:54] Kurai
    Though, honestly, that
    may work in my favor...
[09:59] Tamao
    Huh?
[10:00] Tamao
    Hey, you don't hate Seimei
    or something, do you?
[10:03] Kurai
    Oh, did you hear me?
[10:05] Tamao
    Cats have better ears than humans!
[10:08] Tamao
    Anyway, that's really bad!
[10:11] Tamao
    If you wish something bad upon someone,
[10:13] Tamao
    something worse is gonna happen to you!
[10:17] Tamao
    That's what my best friend said!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[10:29] Haruaki
    U-Um... Where are you
    planning on taking me?
[10:33] Renka
    Oh, I'm Renka, by the way.
[10:36] Renka
    Since I finally got to meet you,
[10:38] Renka
    I was hoping to find a place
    we can have a long chat.
SIGN    Uniform Cabaret
SIGN    The Teen Years
[10:44] Renka
    Look, Sensei! A uniform cabaret!
[10:47] Haruaki
    Why are you recommending
    that to a teacher?!
[10:49] Renka
    I always wanted to have a
    parent-teacher conference,
[10:53] Renka
    so I figured it'd be better to
    have one at a place you liked.
[10:56] Haruaki
    Sure, but we don't need
    to have one at a cabaret.
[11:00] Haruaki
    Let's find somewhere else.
[11:03] Haruaki
    It's dangerous to stay in one spot too long.
[11:05] Renka
    Sensei...
[11:07] Haruaki
    Huh?
[11:07] Renka
    Do you understand what this place is?
SIGN    Tea Shop
[11:11] Haruaki
    I think so.
[11:13] Haruaki
    This cultural festival is being run
    by people who have died, right?
[11:19] Renka
    Bingo!
[11:22] Renka
    Today's the autumnal equinox.
[11:24] Renka
    The autumnal equinox is
    known as the Autumn Ohigan,
[11:27] Renka
    and the Ohigan is said to be the day when
    the worlds of the living and the dead connect.
[11:31] Haruaki
    But why in the basement of Hyakki Academy?
[11:34] Renka
    From what I heard, the location
    is random every year.
[11:39] Renka
    I think the people here are deceased people
    who had some kind of connection with youkai.
[11:46] Haruaki
    Renka-san, could you be...
[11:48] Old Cop
    Do you have a second, sonny?
[11:50] Haruaki
    Huh? A police officer?
[11:52] Young Cop
    We received reports that some people
    who aren't dead wandered in here.
[11:57] Haruaki
    You get reported for being alive here?!
[12:00] Young Cop
    Could you breathe into this thing here?
[12:05] Young Cop
    It went off. He's definitely
    not fully dead yet.
SIGN    The Teen Years
[12:08] Haruaki
    You guys use a breathalyzer to determine
    if someone's dead or alive?!
[12:12] Young Cop
    Anyway, come with us to fill
    out the proper paperwork.
[12:15] Young Cop
    You can't be here unless
    you're officially dead.
[12:18] Haruaki
    What?! The afterlife
    cares about paperwork?!
[12:22] Haruaki
    Anyway, no! I'm still alive!
[12:24] Young Cop
    Ah, yeah... We get guys
    like you sometimes
[12:27] Young Cop
    who can't accept the fact
    that they're dead.
[12:30] Haruaki
    This is bad. At this rate, I'm
    gonna get killed by paperwork!
[12:33] Haruaki
    My only choice is to...
[12:36] Young Cop
    Hey! He ran!
[12:38] Old Cop
    He's so fast!
[12:39] Rena
    Wow! You're just as fast
    as I heard you were!
[12:42] Haruaki
    I always get accosted by delinquents,
[12:45] Haruaki
    so I'm world-class when
    it comes to running away!
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
[12:48] Old Cop
    Come back here!
[12:49] Old Cop
    Unlawful death is punishable by
    three years of hard labor in hell!
[12:53] Haruaki
    Why do I have to get chased by
    the police in this world, too?!
[12:57] Haruaki
    Save me, police!
[12:59] Haruaki
    No, wait! The police are
    the ones chasing me!
[13:02] Tamao
    I hear Seimei's voice from down below!
[13:05] Tamao
    Damn it. It's pitch black.
    I can't see anything.
[13:08] Tamao
    Where are you, Seimei?!
[13:10] Kurai
    I guess I don't have a choice.
[13:16] Kurai
    I'll find him with my youkai magic.
[13:19] Tamao
    A dodomeki?!
[13:21] Tamao
    Which means you're Takahashi—
[13:22] Kurai
    Please don't say that name.
    It'll disrupt my youkai magic.
[13:26] Kurai
    A dodomeki's youkai magic should be able
    to search every inch of this space...
[13:33] Kurai
    I see.
[13:35] Kurai
    So this is what Abe-sensei was seeing.
[13:38] Tamao
    What? What exactly are you seeing?
[13:41] Kurai
    Very well. I'll use my youkai magic
    to show you what I'm seeing.
[13:46] Kurai
    Touch me and close your eyes.
[13:48] Tamao
    O-Okay...
[13:50] Kurai
    If you open your eyes or
    stray away from me,
[13:52] Kurai
    the youkai magic will be
    broken, so be careful.
[13:54] Tamao
    Got it!
[13:57] Tamao
    Whoa! What the heck is all this?!
[14:00] Tamao
    What's going on in the
    basement of the school?!
SIGN    Gourmet Avenue
[14:04] Kurai
    Oh, over there.
SIGN    The Teen Years
[14:07] Kurai
    I think Abe-sensei might be there.
[14:09] Kurai
    He likes uniforms doesn't he?
[14:10] Tamao
    Wow! You tracked down something
    he'd like with pinpoint accuracy!
[14:15] Tamao
    But he considers uniforms
    gods who created all things.
[14:20] Tamao
    He gets pretty mad if
    you mistreat them.
[14:23] Kurai
    I see.
[14:25] Kurai
    Well, I'll go check out
    the place just in case.
[14:28] Tamao
    Hey! If we separate,
    your youkai magic will break!
[14:33] Tamao
    You're actually a skeeze
    with a face like that?
[14:36] Kurai
    If you think all cool-guy characters are
    straitlaced, you're gravely mistaken.
[14:39] Tamao
    Anyway, what the heck is this place?!
[14:43] Kurai
    Since Abe-sensei could see
    this place and we couldn't,
[14:47] Kurai
    we can assume this place
    is not of this world.
[14:49] Tamao
    Eek...
[14:50] Tamao
    That means the people here...
[14:52] Kurai
    One could assume that, yes.
[14:54] Tamao
    Then we need to find him quick
    and get back to a higher level!
[14:58] Tamao
    If only a cop was around!
    We'd find him even faster!
[15:01] Kurai
    A cop?
[15:03] Tamao
    Seimei usually acts super suspicious,
[15:06] Tamao
    so he quickly gets questioned by
    cops or chased by police cars.
[15:09] (Flashback) Yamazaki
    You there! Abe-sensei! Stop right there!
[15:15] Young Cop
    You there with the cowlick! Stop at once!
[15:18] Haruaki
    Heck no!
[15:19] Tamao
    Yeah, exactly like that.
[15:22] Tamao
    Wait, he's even being chased by
    the cops in a place like this!
[15:25] Haruaki
    Ah, Akisame-kun! Kurai-san!
[15:28] Renka
    Kurai?!
[15:29] Kurai
    Renka-sa—
[15:32] Tamao
    Why did you open your eyes,
    Big Bro Kurai?!
[15:35] Tamao
    We're back in the same ol' ruins now!
[15:38] Kurai
    Sorry... I happened to see someone
    I know who passed away...
[15:43] Tamao
    Oh... Then I'm sorry for getting mad.
[15:46] Tamao
    But why did Seimei also disappear
    when you opened your eyes?
[15:51] Kurai
    He might've been completely
    sucked into this place.
[15:55] Kurai
    We should hurry.
[15:56] Tamao
    I know! I just thought of
    a really good solution!
[15:59] Kurai
    Huh?
[16:00] Haruaki
    What should we do? Akisame-kun and
    Kurai-san suddenly disappeared!
SIGN    Metropolitan Police
[16:05] Tamao
    Seimei! There's trouble!
[16:08] Tamao
    The oldest uniform in Japan
    was in the elevator hall!
[16:12] Kurai
    Would that really get
    him to come here?
[16:14] Tamao
    Man, you don't know Seimei at all.
[16:17] Tamao
    His obsession with uniforms
    would make even ghosts shiver.
[16:22] Young Cop
    Huh?
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
[16:23] Haruaki
    This is a huge emergency!
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
SIGN    Metropolitan
    Police
[16:25] Haruaki
    I need to hurry to the spot!
[16:27] Kurai
    He's taking a while.
[16:29] Tamao
    He'll be here any second.
    Have some patience.
[16:32] Kurai
    Akisame-kun, your eyes are open.
[16:34] Tamao
    Oh, shoot!
SIGN    Big
    Flame
    Buns
SIGN    Underground
    Cultural Festival
SIGN    Underground
    Cultural Festival
SIGN    Underground
    Cultural Fair
    Going on Now
[16:36] Tamao
    Huh? But the scenery hasn't changed.
[16:40] Kurai
    It seems like, since we've been here so long,
[16:43] Kurai
    we're also that much closer to becoming
    inhabitants here, just like Abe-sensei.
[16:48] Tamao
    What?!
[16:50] Kurai
    If he doesn't show up in
    the next three minutes,
[16:52] Kurai
    we should probably head
    to the surface first.
[16:55] Tamao
    Seimei...
[16:56] Haruaki
    You called?!
[16:59] Haruaki
    I'm here!
[17:01] Haruaki
    Sorry to keep you waiting!
[17:03] Kurai
    That's quite the entrance.
[17:05] Tamao
    More importantly,
    we're in trouble, Seimei!
[17:07] Tamao
    Blah, blah, yadda, yadda,
[17:08] Tamao
    so we need to hurry to the surface,
    or we'll be in big trouble!
SIGN    Blah, blah,
    yadda, yadda
[17:12] Haruaki
    What?!
[17:20] Tamao
    Seimei, who's that lady?
[17:22] Haruaki
    Oh, her child is a student in Class 3.
[17:26] Renka
    And did you figure out whose mom I am?
[17:31] Haruaki
    You're Nyuudou-kun's mom, right?
[17:35] Haruaki
    The one who passed some years ago...
[17:42] Renka
    I guess you got me.
[17:44] Renka
    Well done, Abe-sensei!
[17:46] Renka
    You're as shrewd as he said you were!
[17:48] Haruaki
    Shrewd?
[17:49] Renka
    Truly...
SIGN    Nyuudou
    Family Grave
[17:51] Renka
    You're exactly how my son described you.
[17:55] Renka
    I was planning on waiting to see my
    son and husband again only after
[17:59] Renka
    they'd lived out their lives in full...
[18:03] Renka
    But recently, my son seemed
    troubled about something,
[18:06] Renka
    so I was hoping I could see him,
[18:08] Renka
    and I ended up in this place
    between both worlds.
[18:11] Renka
    But I'm glad I got to meet you,
    Sensei. And I had a lot of fun!
[18:15] Tamao
    Renren's mom passed away?
[18:19] Tamao
    I had no idea...
[18:20] Renka
    Oh, are you Tama-chan?
[18:22] Tamao
    Huh?
[18:23] Renka
    Rensuke tells me about you all the time.
[18:27] Renka
    It's like every other word he says is "Tamao."
SIGN    Nyuudou
    Family Grave
[18:29] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    I have a best friend now!
[18:31] Renka
    He actually came to tell me that.
[18:34] Renka
    Thank you for being my son's best friend.
[18:38] Renka
    I hope you'll continue to be
    good friends with Rensuke.
[18:41] Tamao
    Of course I will.
[18:44] Renka
    Okay, you need to get going,
    or you'll really be stuck down here.
[18:49] Renka
    I can't go beyond this point,
    so I guess this is goodbye.
[18:54] Renka
    Please take care of Rensuke for me, you two.
[18:57] Renka
    He tries to act tough and
    doesn't like to ask for help.
[19:01] Haruaki
    Renka-san...
[19:02] Renka
    You, too, Kurai. Take care
    of my family for me!
[19:05] Kurai
    I will.
[19:07] Renka
    Oh, yeah. I had a request for you, Sensei.
[19:10] Renka
    Take this.
[19:11] Haruaki
    What is it?
[19:13] Renka
    If you happen to run into a
    little girl named Ruri-chan,
[19:17] Renka
    please give that to her.
[19:18] Haruaki
    Ruri-chan?
[19:20] Renka
    I have a feeling you'd be
    able to find her, Sensei.
[19:24] Old Cop
    There he is!
[19:26] Old Cop
    In the elevator!
[19:27] Renka
    Hurry and get on!
[19:28] Haruaki
    But...
[19:29] Renka
    Okay, get going!
[19:31] Renka
    Don't come back here again until
    you've lived a full life, okay?
[19:34] Haruaki
    Renka-san...
[19:37] Haruaki
    Ren...
[19:40] Haruaki
    Nyuudou-kun's mom!
[19:42] Haruaki
    Nyuudou-kun's first-term
    grades were all fives!
[19:46] Haruaki
    He's extremely earnest and responsible,
    has lots of friends,
[19:49] Haruaki
    and is always leading
    Class 3 as the class rep!
[19:52] Haruaki
    He'll help kids who are having
    trouble with their homework,
[19:55] Haruaki
    and sometimes, he gets in
    fights and lets loose...
[19:57] Haruaki
    But from my perspective as his teacher,
    he's leading a very fun school life!
[20:02] Haruaki
    So please don't worry!
[20:13] Tamao
    Renren's mom looked really happy.
[20:16] Haruaki
    Yeah.
[20:18] Tamao
    Then we need to stop
    crying in two seconds!
[20:21] Tamao
    Let's continue to do our best
    so that Renren's mom
[20:24] Tamao
    up in heaven can see that we're
    Renren's best friend and teacher!
[20:27] Haruaki
    Yeah!
SIGN    B1
SIGN    1
SIGN    2
SIGN    3
SIGN    4
SIGN    5
SIGN    6
[20:30] Haruaki
    We're back on the surface!
SIGN    Youkai
    100 Tales
[20:33] Haruaki
    We're actually back at
    the school now, right?
SIGN    Youkai
    100 Tales
SIGN    Youkai
    100 Tales
[20:37] Nyuudou
    Seimei, Tama! Where the
    heck were you guys?
[20:40] Nyuudou
    The cultural festival's almost ov—
[20:42] Haruaki
    Nyuudou-kun!
[20:43] Tamao
    Renren!
[20:45] Tamao
    Renren! I'll be your best friend forever!
[20:47] Nyuudou
    What the hell? You're being creepy.
[20:49] Haruaki
    I'll also watch over you 24/7 and
    365 days a year as your teacher!
[20:55] Nyuudou
    Uh, are you announcing
    yourself as my stalker?
[20:57] Kurai
    That won't be happening.
[21:00] Haruaki
    Kurai-san?
[21:01] Nyuudou
    Kurai! Why are you here?
    I told you not to come.
SIGN    Youkai
    News
[21:05] Kurai
    Rensuke-sama, the master
    would like to speak with you,
[21:09] Kurai
    so you will need to return home for a time.
[21:11] Nyuudou
    What?!
[21:14] Haruaki
    What?
[21:15] Tamao
    Who are they?
[21:16] Nyuudou
    No way! You jerks!
[21:18] Tamao
    Renren!
[21:19] Haruaki
    Who the heck are you? What're you
    planning to do with my student?
[21:22] Kurai
    Oh, I didn't expect you to grab my collar.
[21:25] Kurai
    I figured you were more timid than that.
[21:29] Kurai
    Will you stop us with force, then?
[21:31] Kurai
    With your power to exorcise demons?
[21:34] Haruaki
    Huh?
[21:35] Kurai
    I know everything about you.
[21:38] Kurai
    The descendant of Abe
    no Seimei, Haruaki Abe.
[21:44] Haruaki
    Just who are you, Kurai-san?
[21:47] Kurai
    I'm sorry I kept my
    identity secret from you.
[21:50] Haruaki and Tamao
    Takahashi-sensei?!
[21:52] Kurai
    My name is Kurai Takahashi.
[21:54] Kurai
    I work for Rensuke Nyuudou-sama's father.
[22:02] Kurai
    And to fulfill his father's orders,
    I will be taking Rensuke-sama back home.

Season 1

22 - Goodbye, Ren-Ren

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Nakano
    According to the Ministry of Youkai
    Affairs, Japanese officials
SIGN    Minister of Youkai Affairs Meets with Foreign Youkai
SIGN    Minister of Youkai Affairs Meets with Foreign Youkai
[00:09] Nakano
    will be meeting with foreign youkai
    in New York to better their relations.
[00:12] Haruaki
    Nyuudou-kun didn't show up again today.
[00:15] (Flashback) Kurai
    And to fulfill his father's orders,
    I will be taking Rensuke-sama back home.
[00:24] Awayama
    Abe-sensei!
[00:25] Haruaki
    Y-Yes?
[00:26] Nyuudou Father
    Pardon.
[00:30] Miki
    N-No way!
[00:32] Nyuudou Father
    You must be Abe-sensei.
[00:35] Haruaki
    Y-Yes...
[00:36] Nyuudou Father
    Hello. I am Rensuke Nyuudou's father.
[00:38] Nyuudou Father
    My name is Hajime Nyuudou.
[00:42] Haruaki
    You're Nyuudou-kun's father?
SIGN    Minister of Youkai Affairs
    Meets with Foreign Youkai
SIGN    Minister of Youkai Affairs
    Meets with Foreign Youkai
[00:44] Nakano
    The Ministry of Youkai Affairs plans
    to lay the foundation for expansion
[00:48] Nakano
    of economic cooperation and extension
    of companies overseas in the future.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Episode 22:
    "Goodbye, Ren-Ren"
[02:23] Hatanaka
    Abe-sensei had business to attend to,
    so I'll be handing your Japanese tests back.
[02:28] Hatanaka
    First up, Akisame—
[02:34] Hatanaka
    Seriously?
[02:35] Tamao
    Huh? Is it that bad?
[02:41] Tamao
    N-No way...
[02:43] Hijita
    Tamao could barely even write his name
    before, and now he somehow got a 38!
[02:48] Mujina
    The highest score he'd gotten in
    his whole life was a five, and now...
[02:52] Sano
    Well, you were working hard
    with Seimei after school.
[02:55] Tamao
    Ren-Ren helped me study a lot, too!
[03:00] Tamao
    I did it!
[03:02] All
    Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!
[03:04] Mujina
    Damn it. Why's Nyuudou gotta be
    absent on a happy day like this?
[03:08] Tamao
    I can't wait to show Ren-Ren!
[03:13] Hatanaka
    About that...
[03:16] Haruaki
    Nyuudou-kun's quitting school?
[03:19] Haruaki
    But why?
[03:21] Hajime
    I have someone watching
    over Rensuke regularly,
[03:25] Hajime
    but I cannot overlook the fact that his
    teacher has the power to exorcise demons.
[03:32] Hajime
    You are a danger to us.
[03:36] Hajime
    I can't help but be suspicious of this school
    and the principal who hired you.
[03:44] Nyuudou
    Sorry, Seimei...
[03:46] Nyuudou
    for dragging you into this.
[03:48] Haruaki
    Nyuudou-kun!
[03:49] Hajime
    We have nothing more to discuss.
[03:51] Hajime
    Rensuke, go gather your things.
[03:55] Haruaki
    Nyuudou-san!
[03:56] Haruaki
    He's needed at this school!
[03:58] Haruaki
    If you're that strongly opposed, then I'll quit!
[04:02] Nyuudou
    No one's asking you to do that.
[04:05] Nyuudou
    Honestly, it's a relief.
[04:06] Nyuudou
    I've been freed from
    babysitting those idiots.
[04:08] Nyuudou
    I can relax and study
    for entrance exams—
[04:10] Haruaki
    Nyuudou-kun!
[04:11] Haruaki
    If you really mean that, then
    look me in the eye and say it!
[04:16] Nyuudou
    I mean it.
[04:19] Nyuudou
    Anyway, I'm gonna get my stuff from class.
[04:24] Hajime
    Please refrain from meddling in our affairs.
[04:27] Hajime
    Farewell.
SIGN    Class 2-3
[04:33] Hijita
    What's that supposed to mean, Four-eyes?!
[04:35] Hatanaka
    Just that!
[04:36] Hatanaka
    Abe-sensei's talking to
    Nyuudou-kun's father right now!
[04:46] Kuniko
    Nyuudou-kun, are you
    really quitting school?
[04:50] Nyuudou
    Yup, sure am.
[04:53] Nyuudou
    Sorry for leaving you as the
    only class rep, Utagawa-san.
[04:56] Kuniko
    That's not what I'm worried about...
[04:58] Tamao
    Ren-Ren! I don't know what
    happened, but don't be stupid!
[05:03] Nyuudou
    Never thought I'd see the day
    when you'd call me stupid.
[05:06] Tamao
    I don't want you to leave, Ren-Ren.
[05:08] Tamao
    Look at this test I just got back!
[05:11] Tamao
    It's because of you that I—
[05:18] Nyuudou
    And I'm saying that I'm done
    babysitting morons like you.
[05:24] Nyuudou
    It's a pain in the ass having you
    being all buddy-buddy with me.
[05:27] Hatanaka
    Nyuudou, stop that.
SIGN    Oni
[05:28] Nyuudou
    I mean, this school's pretty messed up.
[05:31] Nyuudou
    All of you are basically preschoolers.
[05:35] Nyuudou
    I mean, we're all youkai with completely
    different levels of intelligence and powers.
[05:39] Nyuudou
    There's no way we can all
    study under the same roof!
[05:42] Nyuudou
    I actually wish I'd been born a human!
[05:49] Nyuudou
    Ow...
[05:51] Nyuudou
    The hell was that for?
[05:52] Mujina
    What?
[05:54] Mujina
    You looked like you wanted someone
    to stop you, so I stopped you.
[06:00] Nyuudou
    What's that supposed to mean?
[06:02] Nyuudou
    Yeah, I definitely don't get along with you.
[06:05] Mujina
    Then fight back like you
    usually do, you idiot.
[06:09] Haruaki
    Wait, what happened?
[06:10] Nyuudou
    Nothing. Mujina and I are fighting, as usual.
[06:14] Haruaki
    Nyuudou-kun, I'd like to
    speak to you alone.
[06:17] Haruaki
    Come to the roof.
[06:19] Nyuudou
    We already spoke more than enough.
[06:22] Nyuudou
    I have nothing more to say.
[06:24] Haruaki
    You might not, but I do.
[06:27] Haruaki
    Come with me.
[06:31] Nyuudou
    Okay, fine.
[06:38] Mamekichi
    Akisame-kun.
[06:40] Mamekichi
    I'm pretty sure you know this,
    but he absolutely didn't mean that.
SIGN    Tamao Akisame
SIGN    You worked really hard
[06:44] Tamao
    Of course I know that!
[06:46] Tamao
    Ren-Ren would never say
    something like that and mean it.
[06:50] Tamao
    We're best friends, damn it!
[06:52] Tamao
    But...
[06:57] Tamao
    Even so...
[06:59] Tamao
    that hurt a tiny bit...
[07:06] Nyuudou
    Tama had been working hard for a while.
[07:09] Haruaki
    Nyuudou-kun...
[07:11] Nyuudou
    Seimei, make sure you stay
    a teacher for the long haul.
[07:15] Nyuudou
    There are a lot of kids at
    this school who need you.
[07:21] Nyuudou
    But I'm not one of them.
[07:26] Nyuudou
    I've been insanely envious
    of you this whole time.
[07:33] Haruaki
    Envious?
SIGN    Ichigankoku Hospital
[07:40] Nyuudou
    Seven years ago...
SIGN    Renka Nyuudou
[07:42] Nyuudou
    My mom was in the hospital,
    so I'd come by to see her often.
[07:47] (Flashback) Renka
    Rensuke! You came again today?
[07:55] Nyuudou
    And that's where I met...
[07:58] Nyuudou
    Ruri-chan.
[08:04] Nyuudou
    She was a sickly girl from birth, but we
    became friends after I helped her study.
[08:10] Nyuudou
    I fell in love with her.
[08:15] (Flashback) Ruri
    Rensuke-kun, no one else is here,
    so why don't you take off your mask?
[08:18] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    I-I can't!
[08:20] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    I mean, you might get scared
    if you see my awful burn scar.
[08:23] (Flashback) Ruri
    I don't care about that.
[08:25] (Flashback) Ruri
    I became your friend because
    I like your personality.
[08:32] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    O-Oh, yeah...
[08:34] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    I wanted to give you a
    p-present today, Ruri-chan.
[08:38] (Flashback) Ruri
    A ring?
[08:40] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    I thought it might look nice on you...
[08:43] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    I-I bought my own, too.
[08:45] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    I was thinking maybe...
[08:47] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    Er, I guess matching rings
    might be weird!
[08:49] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    I mean, it's almost like...
[08:51] (Flashback) Ruri
    They're almost like wedding rings!
[08:54] (Flashback) Ruri
    How does it look?
[08:58] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    I...
[09:00] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    I love you, Ruri-chan!
[09:02] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    When we grow up, please marry me!
[09:09] (Flashback) Ruri
    Then... when I get better and become
    an adult, will you marry me?
[09:14] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    Yeah!
[09:16] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    I promise!
SIGN    Renka Nyuudou
[09:24] Nyuudou
    But that happiness didn't last long.
[09:27] Nyuudou
    It actually ended very quickly.
[09:39] (Flashback) Ruri
    I don't care about that.
[09:42] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    Um, actually, I'm a youk—
[09:48] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    I'm sorry!
[09:49] (Flashback) Renka
    Rensuke!
[09:50] (Flashback) Ruri
    Wait!
[09:51] (Flashback) Renka
    Wait!
[09:54] (Flashback) Kurai
    I just saw Rensuke-sama and
    his friend go running—
SIGN    Renka Nyuudou
[09:58] (Flashback) Kurai
    Renka-san?
[10:02] (Flashback) Ruri
    Rensuke-kun!
SIGN    Fire Hydrant
SIGN    Conference Room 2
[10:18] (Flashback) Kurai
    Sir, Renka-sama's condition has...
[10:22] (Flashback) Hajime
    I see. All right.
[10:26] (Flashback) Hajime
    I'll head to the hospital
    once this meeting is over.
[10:29] (Flashback) Hajime
    Now, about amending this youkai bill...
SIGN    Ichigankoku Hospital
[10:33] Nyuudou
    Not long after... I had no reason
    to visit the hospital anymore.
SIGN    Reception
[10:42] (Flashback) Nurse 1
    Yes. Ruri-chan got better after that.
[10:46] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    I see. That's good.
[10:50] (Flashback) Nurse 2
    Are you sure about this, Senpai?
[10:52] (Flashback) Nurse 1
    Apparently, Ruri-chan and Rensuke-kun
    got into a fight that day.
[10:56] (Flashback) Nurse 1
    He's better off not knowing that she
    passed away falling down the stairs
[11:00] (Flashback) Nurse 1
    chasing after him.
[11:03] Little Nyuudou
    Why?
[11:05] Little Nyuudou
    Why?
[11:07] Little Nyuudou
    Why?!
[11:11] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    Damn it!
[11:12] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    Is it because my face looks like this?!
[11:15] (Flashback) Little Nyuudou
    It's not like I wanted
    to be born this weird!
[11:23] Nyuudou
    I figured I'd never get involved
    with humans ever again...
[11:27] Nyuudou
    Then you showed up.
SIGN    Haruaki Abe
[11:29] Nyuudou
    Honestly, I envied you.
[11:33] Nyuudou
    Because I wished...
[11:36] Nyuudou
    I'd been born a human like you.
[11:40] Haruaki
    But... if it weren't for your eye,
[11:44] Haruaki
    I would've died in that fire in Tokyo.
[11:48] Haruaki
    You also helped out with the kasha.
[11:51] Haruaki
    Your big eye has saved so many people.
[11:58] Haruaki
    Of course, you can't look
    away from what you've lost.
[12:02] Haruaki
    Especially if it involved someone's death.
[12:06] Haruaki
    In that case...
[12:08] Haruaki
    Every time you say something bad
    about yourself or put yourself down,
[12:11] Haruaki
    I'll find something good
    about you and tell you.
[12:14] Haruaki
    Keep finding your own
    value at this school,
[12:18] Haruaki
    with me...
[12:20] Haruaki
    No, with everyone in Class 3!
[12:28] Nyuudou
    Dad!
[12:30] Hajime
    Are you done talking?
[12:32] Hajime
    Don't waste any more of my time.
[12:34] Kurai
    Let's go, Rensuke-sama.
[12:36] Nyuudou
    Seimei... I...
[12:39] Haruaki
    It's okay! I'll figure it out!
[12:42] Hajime
    And what can you possibly do?
[12:45] Haruaki
    I promise I'll bring you back!
[12:47] Haruaki
    Until then, I need you to find the resolve
    to accept yourself and live your life!
[12:58] Sano
    And he's gone...
[13:01] Sano
    Do you actually have a plan
    after saying all that?
[13:04] Haruaki
    I'm gonna think of one right now!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Gashadokuro
SIGN    Talisman
    of Protection
SIGN    Even Cats Can
    Understand
SIGN    Proverb Dictionary
[13:15] Miki
    He's basically been glued to
    his desk for two hours now...
[13:18] Sano
    Yeah, he's pretty stuck.
[13:20] Haruaki
    Damn it! What am I supposed to do?
SIGN    Gashadokuro
SIGN    Talisman
     of Protection
[13:25] Haruaki
    The little pouch Renka-san gave me...
[13:28] Haruaki
    It had a ring inside.
[13:30] (Flashback) Renka
    If you happen to run into a
    little girl named Ruri-chan,
[13:33] (Flashback) Renka
    please give that to her.
[13:35] Haruaki
    I wonder if this is the one
    Nyuudou-kun gave to Ruri-chan...
[13:42] Haruaki
    Could it be...
SIGN    That Big-Time Actor
    in a Love Affair
    Confirmed?!
    Fans Are Shocked at the
    Unexpected News!
    Entertainment Insider
    "It's a Total Surprise"
    It's been revealed that one
    big-time actor is in a love affair.
    Fans have posted congratulations
    and grievances online at the
    sudden news. Everyone is in
    complete shock.
[13:48] Haruaki
    I've got it!
[13:50] Haruaki
    Whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper...
[13:53] Miki
    I-If you do that and mess up,
    you're gonna be more than fired!
[13:57] Haruaki
    Don't worry! I'll keep it peaceful!
[13:59] Miki
    Aw, hell! Don't blame me
    for whatever happens!
[14:02] Sano
    Well, whatever.
[14:04] Sano
    Things are finally turning
    back into a gag anime.
SIGN    Takahashi
    Youkai General Hospital
[14:07] Takahashi
    Hey there, Abe-sensei.
[14:09] Takahashi
    The Nyuudou family, huh? You picked
    quite the family to fight with.
[14:13] Haruaki
    Um... The little brother
    you mentioned before...
[14:16] Haruaki
    It's Kurai-san, right?
[14:18] Takahashi
    Yup, it sure is!
[14:20] Takahashi
    We get along so well that we've
    never even fought before.
[14:24] Haruaki
    And the youkai magic you both
    use is exactly the same, right?
[14:28] Takahashi
    Yup, exactly the same.
[14:30] Takahashi
    We can make our eyes appear
    on things we touch...
[14:33] Takahashi
    or see spirit energy or souls.
[14:36] Haruaki
    Thank you very much.
[14:38] Haruaki
    I just have one more question.
[14:41] Mandragora
    Tick, tock, ding.
SIGN    2
SIGN    10
SIGN    3
SIGN    4
SIGN    5
SIGN    9
SIGN    7
SIGN    8
SIGN    6
[14:47] Haruaki
    There we go!
[14:48] Hajime
    How dare you?! What are you thinking?!
[14:51] Hajime
    This is blackmail!
[14:53] Nyuudou
    What? What's wrong?
[14:54] Hajime
    Don't mess with me!
[14:56] Kurai
    Rensuke-sama...
SIGN    To Nyuudou-kun's father.
     Once you see this, call this number
    within 10 minutes.
[14:58] Kurai
    Just a while ago, your former classmate,
    the ittan-momen, dropped this off.
SIGN    Huge Scoop!!
    Hajime Nyuudou
    sexually harassed
    a bunch of minors
    at a cross-dressing bar?!
[15:04] Hatanaka
    Wait, is this real?
[15:06] Miki
    Nope. This is the doppelganger
    Yamazaki-san.
SIGN    You're a
    police officer
    who protects
    civilians, right?
[15:10] Miki
    Haruaki-kun wanted to make up this scandal.
SIGN    Don't blame me for
    whatever happens!
[15:13] Hajime
    How dare you fabricate
    something like this?!
[15:15] Hajime
    I'm calling my lawyer and
    the police right now!
[15:17] Haruaki
    But I might accidentally leak
    that on social media first.
[15:21] Hajime
    Th-This little...
[15:24] Haruaki
    Nyuudou-san, how about
    we have a competition?
[15:27] Haruaki
    I'm going to head there right
    now to bring Rensuke-kun back.
[15:30] Haruaki
    Of course, no matter what
    happens, I won't use my power.
[15:34] Haruaki
    If I'm able to get Rensuke-kun out
    of the house before dawn, I win.
[15:38] Haruaki
    If I win, I will have
    Rensuke-kun return to school.
[15:42] Hajime
    Then when I catch you and I win,
    I will demand that the principal resign,
[15:48] Hajime
    and I will choose his successor.
[15:53] Hajime
    I told you. I'm suspicious of
    any school that would hire you.
[15:58] Haruaki
    B-But that's...
[16:00] Principal
    That's fine.
[16:02] Principal
    It's a leader's burden to take
    responsibility when something happens.
[16:07] Hajime
    I'm glad you understand.
[16:10] Haruaki
    Principal... Thank you so much.
[16:13] Principal
    Haruaki-kun, I'm sure you know this...
[16:16] Principal
    If you lose, your head is
    gonna fly. Quite literally.
[16:22] Haruaki
    It's not just my job on the
    line! It's my life, too!
SIGN    And so...
[16:25] Small Old Man
    And so... the battle between the
    Nyuudou family and Haruaki's forces...
SIGN    The battle between
    the Nyuudou family
    and Haruaki's forces...
[16:30] Kuniko
    Huh?
[16:31] Small Old Man
    ...began!
SIGN    Online
SIGN    Class 3 Group (26)
SIGN    Class 3, gather in front of the
    school gates tonight at 7 PM!
[16:34] Haruaki
    Okay, I'm counting on you.
[16:37] Hijita
    I'd heard he was rich, but the Nyuudou
    family's way bigger than I thought.
[16:42] Haruaki
    According to Takahashi-sensei's intel,
[16:44] Haruaki
    it's a building filled with a bunch of
    eye youkai, so it has no blind spots.
[16:49] Odawara
    Ugh... I'm getting nervous.
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
SIGN    Fire
[16:51] Kurahashi
    Is this really going to turn out okay?
[16:54] Sano
    This is exactly when we'd want
    Nyuudou to say something.
[16:57] Nyuudou
    We've come this far,
    so we've gotta keep going!
[17:00] Sano
    He'd say that, and we'd
    all actually move forward.
[17:04] Toubyou
    Well, I guess we've gotta go.
[17:06] Odawara
    Let's go get our leader!
[17:09] Hijita
    Without him around, the average
    score on our tests is gonna go down!
[17:14] Kurai
    Rensuke-sama, you won't be able to
    leave your room tonight, so take this.
[17:19] Nyuudou
    A tablet?
[17:20] Kurai
    The mokumokuren throughout the building
[17:23] Kurai
    will use their youkai magic to
    put what they see on the screen,
[17:25] Kurai
    so you can see what's going on
    outside your room with this.
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[17:28] Small Old Man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
[17:30] Small Old Man
    Mokumokuren.
[17:31] Small Old Man
    They possess homes and keep
    an eye out for intruders.
[17:35] Nyuudou
    That's thoughtful of you.
[17:36] Kurai
    Yes, well, I can't have you get
    curious and try to sneak out, either.
[17:40] Kurai
    Now, If you'll excuse me, I must—
[17:43] Kurai
    It appears they've made their move.
[17:46] Nyuudou
    Then that thunder was the Ogatas?
[17:49] Kou
    Let's burn this into the
    eyes of the eye youkai...
[17:52] Kou; Rin
    The power of the Fuujin and Raijin!
[17:55] Security 1
    Get inside!
[17:56] Security 2
    Right!
[17:59] Hijita
    All right. Just as planned,
    we're gonna wreak havoc now.
[18:02] Hijita
    You stay behind us so
    you don't get caught.
[18:06] Haruaki/Yamazaki
    R-Right.
[18:07] Mandragora
    Pardon us!
[18:10] Hijita
    Th-This lobby's huge!
[18:12] Medusa
    Welcome, Rensuke-sama's former friends.
[18:16] Hijita
    What do you mean, "former"?
[18:17] Medusa
    Sorry, still friends.
[18:20] Hijita
    And we're gonna continue
    being his friends! Oota!
[18:23] Oota
    You got it!
[18:25] Oota
    If you don't want me to squish
    you, give Nyuudou-kun ba—
[18:28] Oota
    Huh?
[18:29] Oota
    Wait, my body won't mo—
[18:32] Fuji
    Hey! Either look down or close your eyes!
[18:34] Fuji
    That woman facing you!
    Don't look her in the eyes!
[18:37] Fuji
    This is her youkai magic!
[18:39] Fuji
    The youkai that turns you to stone
    if you look her in the eye...
[18:41] Fuji
    Medusa!
[18:43] Momoyama
    In that case...
[18:44] Momoyama
    How about this, stone lady?
[18:47] Marilyn
    If you turn us to stone,
    the other servants—
[18:51] Daisy
    Marilyn!
[18:52] Kurahashi
    Unbelievable! They even turned
    their friends to stone!
[18:56] Medusa
    But of course.
[18:58] Medusa
    They caught not just by the
    intruders, but by students.
[19:01] Medusa
    I'm sure they'd much prefer
    to be statues in the lobby.
[19:06] Medusa
    Now, next up is...
[19:07] Medusa
    You there, with the afro.
[19:08] Mujina
    That was close!
[19:10] Medusa
    I don't sense much spirit energy
    from you, so I'll save you for later.
[19:13] Mujina
    Huh?!
[19:16] Medusa
    Ow! Why is the floor frozen here?
[19:20] Fuji
    If I'm looking down so I
    don't look you in the eyes,
[19:22] Fuji
    I can only freeze what's below me.
[19:24] Medusa
    Ugh! I keep slipping and can't stand!
[19:26] Ogoso
    Seimei-sensei! Put this on so
    you don't look her in the eyes.
[19:31] Haruaki
    But...
[19:31] Ogoso
    You can't get caught yet.
[19:33] Ogoso
    Look for a chance to get out of this lobby!
[19:36] Medusa
    I finally got out.
[19:37] Fuji
    Then I'll just freeze more!
[19:41] Medusa
    Hey! How am I supposed
    to move like this?!
[19:44] Medusa
    Just kidding.
[19:45] Fuji
    Huh?
[19:48] Medusa
    Thanks for making the floor a giant mirror,
    guy who happens to be a yuki-onna.
[19:53] Medusa
    Thanks to you, I can turn everyone
    looking down into stone at once.
[19:58] Hijita
    What the hell? A single maid just...
[20:01] Nyuudou
    No way...
[20:03] Hijita
    They're too strong.
[20:05] Medusa
    Now, then... All that's left is
    the teacher and eyepatch kid.
[20:08] Medusa
    Who should I get first?
[20:11] Medusa
    Where are you aiming?
[20:13] Hijita
    Damn it! If I can get her into a puddle...
SIGN    Bam
[20:20] Medusa
    You little...
[20:22] Medusa
    He... doesn't have a face?!
[20:24] Mujina
    You're gonna lose your footing
[20:27] Mujina
    if you're only paying attention to
    someone's spirit energy, dumbass!
[20:35] Mujina
    Hey! What's the big ide—
[20:36] Hijita
    Mujina, keep that up for later.
[20:42] Hijita
    You can't escape anymore...
    from your own youkai magic.
[20:46] Medusa
    Don't tell me you're trying
    to take me down, too?!
[20:49] Hijita
    I don't mind goin' down,
    as long as I take you with me!
[20:53] Mujina
    Hijita!
[20:56] Kuniko
    Beniko-chan, what's wrong?
[20:57] Beniko
    Nothing...
[20:58] Kuniko
    There are surprisingly few
    people in the back entrance.
[21:02] Sano
    It's because the guys who went through
    the front caused a ruckus in the lobby
[21:05] Sano
    and gathered our enemies there.
[21:07] Kuniko
    I wonder if they're okay.
[21:10] Beniko
    Eh, I'm sure they're fine.
    Hijita's in that group, too.
[21:17] Mujina
    Hey, look at this, Seimei.
[21:19] Mujina
    It's the monitor room.
[21:21] Haruaki/Yamazaki
    There!
[21:22] Haruaki/Yamazaki
    There's Nyuudou-kun!
[21:23] Mujina
    I'm not sure where that is,
    but he's next to a giant window.
[21:27] Haruaki/Yamazaki
    We're on-screen, too.
[21:28] Mujina
    Were there any security cameras though?
[21:31] Kurai
    There weren't.
[21:33] Kurai
    Those monitors are connected
    to our eyes, after all.
[21:38] Haruaki/Yamazaki
    Mujina-kun, run!
[21:41] Kurai
    Even if he runs, he'll be
    caught immediately.
[21:43] Haruaki/Yamazaki
    I see you're as violent
    as ever, Kurai-kun.
[21:48] Kurai
    I figured it was you...
[21:49] Kurai
    Yamazaki-san the doppelganger.
[21:52] Kurai
    Even if you turn into a human, you can't
    hide the spirit energy flowing within you.
[21:58] Kurai
    So you're using the zashikiwarashi's
    youkai magic to hide yourself...
[22:04] Kurai
    But I see right through you, Abe-sensei.

Season 1

23 - The Gashadokuro, Kuniko Utagawa

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Kurai
    A dodomeki can see through everything.
[00:08] Kurai
    You transformed into Abe-sensei
[00:11] Kurai
    and gathered everyone on the first floor,
[00:13] Kurai
    while the real Abe-sensei and his students
    snuck in through the back entrance.
[00:18] Kurai
    Does that about sum it up?
[00:20] Kurai
    Oh? Did I get something wrong?
[00:23] Yamazaki
    Nah...
[00:25] Yamazaki
    I was just thinking that you look just
    like your older brother when you smile.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Episode 23
    "The Gashadokuro,
    Kuniko Utagawa"
[02:05] Sano
    We climbed up pretty high.
[02:07] Beniko
    Sorry, I need a break.
[02:09] Beniko
    I used up quite a bit of my spirit power.
[02:12] Haruaki (Amaaki)
    Thank you.
[02:13] Haruaki (Amaaki)
    Thanks to you, we got to the
    middle floor without any issues.
[02:17] Tamao
    Wait for us, Ren-Ren.
[02:19] Tamao
    I have tons of things I wanna tell you!
[02:24] Haruaki (Amaaki)
    Okay, just a little more.
[02:26] Mekurabe
    Daruma-san...
[02:30] Sano
    You two, conceal yourselves again.
[02:33] Mekurabe
    Daruma-san...
[02:35] Sano
    Looks like we've got trouble.
[02:39] Mekurabe
    Let's have a staring contest.
[02:41] Mekurabe
    If you laugh, you lose.
[02:43] Mekurabe
    Ready, set, go!
[02:47] Tamao
    I have no idea why, but when I saw
    her face, I couldn't stop laughing...
[02:50] Tamao
    It's not even that funny!
[02:53] Mamekichi
    Your face right now
    is pretty funny, though.
[02:56] Utagawa
    Could it be... that this maid
    used her youkai magic...
[03:01] Sano
    Then I'll go in from behind!
[03:03] Mekurabe
    Too bad!
[03:06] Mamekichi
    How dare you?!
[03:07] Mamekichi
    This folly will ruin Sano-kun's cool-guy image!
[03:11] Mekurabe
    I am the youkai mekurabe.
[03:13] Mekurabe
    You can look me up later on your own,
[03:15] Mekurabe
    you stupid, small fry, student youkai!
[03:18] Haruaki (Amaaki)
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
[03:20] Haruaki (Amaaki)
    "Mekurabe. A youkai made
    up of a bunch of skulls.
[03:24] Haruaki (Amaaki)
    They'll try to have a staring contest
    with you to make you laugh."
[03:27] Haruaki (Amaaki)
    Apparently.
[03:28] Sano
    Thanks for the explanation
    while you're still invisible.
[03:31] Sano
    This means she can split up
    as much as she wants to.
[03:34] Renjou
    In that case, I'll capture her in my web!
[03:39] Renjou
    There are far too many.
[03:41] Utagawa
    Hey, Yuri-chan...
[03:43] Renjou
    What's the matter, Kuniko?
[03:45] Utagawa
    Whisper, whisper, whisper...
[03:47] Mekurabe
    So you're Kuniko Utagawa?
[03:49] Utagawa
    Huh? Yes, I am...
[03:54] Mekurabe
    All right, listen up, Kuniko Utagawa.
[03:57] Mekurabe
    I've been taking care of Rensuke-sama
    ever since he was born.
[04:04] Utagawa
    Huh?!
[04:05] Mekurabe
    I changed his diapers, bathed him
    until he was in grade school,
[04:09] Mekurabe
    brushed his teeth, helped him study,
    changed his diapers, bathed him...
[04:14] Renjou
    Why did you repeat the part
    about the diapers and bathing?
[04:17] Mekurabe
    And yet you had the nerve to
    use your charms on Rensuke-sama
[04:21] Mekurabe
    without my permission when
    all you've got is your looks.
[04:23] Utagawa
    I'm more than just my looks!
[04:25] Utagawa
    I work hard on my studies
    so I'll have a good balance!
[04:27] Mekurabe
    What could you possibly
    know about Rensuke-sama
[04:29] Mekurabe
    when you've only known him
    for a year and a half?
[04:32] Utagawa
    I can't let this perverted
    girl get the better of me.
[04:36] Mekurabe
    I'll use my youkai magic to make you
    laugh until you turn into an uggo!
[04:41] Utagawa
    In order to deal with a pervert like this...
[04:44] Utagawa
    I just need to be an even bigger pervert!
[04:47] Utagawa
    Well, if you must know...
[04:49] Utagawa
    I peeped him in the bath just recently.
[04:53] Utagawa
    I'll turn into a pervert if it means
    we'll be able to get Nyuudou-kun back!
[04:56] Utagawa
    He was... a safari park!
[05:00] Mekurabe
    S-Safari park?!
[05:04] Mekurabe
    Wait, what? Exactly what
    part of him was a safari?!
[05:07] Mekurabe
    Good, she took the bait!
[05:09] Mekurabe
    Would you like to see?
[05:10] Mekurabe
    I snapped a pic on my phone.
[05:14] Mekurabe
    I'll delete that obscene picture once
    I transfer it over to my phone!
[05:19] Utagawa
    Now!
[05:22] Utagawa
    Sorry. I was lying about that photo.
[05:26] Mekurabe
    I can escape this in no time...
[05:28] Mekurabe
    Spider webbing?!
[05:31] Renjou
    Earlier...
[05:32] Renjou
    Kuniko told me to make
    a web in her right hand.
[05:36] Mekurabe
    Wha—
[05:37] Renjou
    Once a bug gets caught in
    my web, there's no escape!
[05:40] Mekurabe
    Argh! I can't move!
[05:44] Tamao
    She looks like natto!
[05:47] Renjou
    Kuniko, are you all right?
[05:49] Utagawa
    She didn't even use her youkai magic
    on me, but I can't stop smiling.
[05:53] Utagawa
    But...
[05:54] Utagawa
    Nyuudou-kun didn't hear me earlier,
    so I'll be able to keep my sanity.
[06:00] Small Old Man
    He heard you loud and clear!
[06:03] Kurai
    Seriously, how could you let this happen?
[06:06] Kurai
    I can't believe you let some high
    school girls get the better of you.
[06:10] Tamao
    K-Kurai...
[06:12] Kurai
    I really didn't want to have
    to face you, Akisame-kun.
[06:17] Nyuudou
    Kurai... What's he planning to do?
[06:21] Nyuudou
    The first floor went dark.
    Did something happen?
[06:25] Takahashi
    Hey, hey.
[06:27] Takahashi
    How are you doing, Yamazaki-kun?
[06:30] Yamazaki
    You're about the only person who'd
    see me in this state and ask that.
[06:33] Takahashi
    But good grief, you got roughed up.
[06:36] Takahashi
    Was it Kurai?
[06:38] Yamazaki
    I mentioned you and he lost it.
[06:41] Yamazaki
    Just how much does he hate you?
[06:45] Takahashi
    Well, it's easy to hate doctors.
[06:48] Takahashi
    So, do you need some treatment?
[06:50] Yamazaki
    No, I'm fine.
[06:52] Yamazaki
    Go help everyone else instead.
[06:55] Takahashi
    Okay!
[06:58] Kurai
    Now, then...
[06:59] Kurai
    Let's stop this farce.
[07:01] Kurai
    All of the students in the main lobby,
    other than the nopperabou, were defeated.
[07:07] Kurai
    Which means that only you five remain...
[07:09] Kurai
    as well as... the two who are invisible here.
[07:14] Sano
    Zashiki! Seimei!
[07:17] Sano
    Put them down!
[07:19] Utagawa
    You're Akira-san's brother, aren't you?!
[07:21] Utagawa
    How could someone related
    to a doctor do something like—
[07:24] Kurai
    What?
[07:27] Kurai
    I should be asking you if you feel a
    particular way being raised by that thing.
[07:31] Kurai
    That thing is pure evil.
[07:34] Takahashi
    Hey, now. That's rather rude to
    say about your older brother.
[07:41] Kurai
    Akira... What are you doing here?
[07:44] Takahashi
    Well...
[07:45] Takahashi
    All of you seemed to be having so much fun.
[07:49] Takahashi
    Let me join in.
[07:51] Takahashi
    Also...
[07:52] Takahashi
    There was something I was curious about...
[07:56] Takahashi
    But the main reason is that
[07:58] Takahashi
    I was on the phone with Abe-sensei
    this evening and realized something...
[08:02] Takahashi
    I realized that ever since I was born,
    I'd never fought with my brother.
[08:08] Takahashi
    So let's have a good old
    sibling brawl, Kurai!
[08:13] Kurai
    You can't be serious.
[08:15] Kurai
    The chances of me facing you in a fair fight...
[08:17] Kurai
    are zero.
[08:21] Kurai
    Even you wouldn't be able to
    handle this many enemies.
[08:26] Takahashi
    Aw, I'm so happy.
[08:29] Takahashi
    The idea of examining all these
    eye youkai is getting me excited.
[08:35] Three-eyed youkai
    Don't get distracted! As long as
    we capture Haruaki Abe, we win!
[08:39] Takahashi
    What?!
[08:40] Takahashi
    Come on, don't be like that!
[08:43] Takahashi
    The average temperature of a three-eyed
    youkai is the same as a human's,
[08:48] Takahashi
    so 36.2°C, but yours is 37.2°C,
    so it's a little high.
[08:51] Takahashi
    You don't have any other signs
    of a cold, so maybe it's stress.
[08:55] Takahashi
    And so... you should get some sleep.
[08:58] Takahashi
    Okay, exam over.
[09:02] Mamekichi
    All right! I can do this, too!
[09:04] Mamekichi
    Transform!
[09:06] Mamekichi
    A lemon!
[09:07] Mamekichi
    Take that! I'll squirt
    lemon juice in your eyes!
[09:09] Servants
    My eyes!
[09:11] Sano
    Tamao, use this opportunity to go to Nyuudou.
[09:15] Tamao
    Huh? But...
[09:16] Sano
    Even if we win,
[09:19] Sano
    there's no point if Nyuudou's
    not going to change his mind.
[09:22] Sano
    And for that to happen,
[09:25] Sano
    he needs you.
[09:28] Tamao
    I tried to look cool, but I have
    no idea where Ren-Ren is!
[09:32] Takahashi
    Time for your shot!
[09:35] Tamao
    Hey, Mad Doctor!
[09:37] Tamao
    You can see anything, right?
[09:39] Tamao
    Could you tell me the fastest
    way to get to Ren-Ren?
[09:42] Takahashi
    Huh?
[09:43] Takahashi
    Hmm...
[09:45] Takahashi
    Let's see...
[09:47] Takahashi
    Okay, after eight seconds,
    try jumping out that window.
[09:52] Tamao
    Huh?!
[09:53] Takahashi
    That's the fastest route.
[09:55] Tamao
    Wait, what?! What?!
[09:57] Takahashi
    Five... You don't have time to hesitate. Three...
[10:00] Tamao
    Okay, fine!
[10:01] Takahashi
    Two...
[10:02] Tamao
    I guess I'm gonna YOLO it!
[10:04] Takahashi
    One...
[10:05] Tamao
    That bastard!
[10:06] Tamao
    He showed me the quickest way to heaven!
[10:10] Tamao
    Mujina! What're you doing here?!
[10:12] Mujina
    That's my line.
[10:15] Mujina
    I was trying to meet up
    with Maeda and the others.
[10:18] Mujina
    Going outside seemed to be
    the quickest way to Nyuudou.
[10:22] Tamao
    I see, meow. So this
    was the quickest route!
[10:25] Mujina
    Hey! Maeda!
[10:29] Takahashi
    Now, then...
[10:31] Takahashi
    Let me examine you already, Kurai.
[10:35] Takahashi
    Since you're my precious little brother,
    I'll try this new drug out on you.
[10:40] Takahashi
    Don't worry. Even if you
    experience any side effects...
[10:43] Takahashi
    I'll treat you later!
[10:47] Takahashi
    How is it?!
[10:51] Takahashi
    It didn't go into his vein.
[10:54] Kurai
    Believe it or not, I'm also a dodomeki.
[10:57] Kurai
    I can see my veins, so I made
    sure the contents didn't go in.
[11:02] Takahashi
    Aw, I made a medical error!
[11:04] Kurai
    Your shot won't work on me.
[11:06] Takahashi
    Aw... In that case...
[11:09] Takahashi
    I guess we'll just have to
    solve this with violence.
[11:15] Takahashi
    I have to hold down patients who
    struggle when I'm treating them,
[11:19] Takahashi
    so my arms are pretty strong.
[11:21] Kurai
    You're a monster through and through...
[11:23] Mekurabe
    Seriously? You're a doctor,
    and you're being violent?
[11:26] Takahashi
    What are you talking about?
[11:28] Takahashi
    It's because I'm a doctor that I can treat
    people even if they end up a bit hurt.
[11:33] Kurai
    Yeah... This guy is an absolute psycho.
[11:38] Nuribotoke
    That's quite enough!
[11:41] Mekurabe
    Hell yeah! Good job, Nuribotoke!
SIGN    Laid-Back
    Youkai Dictionary
[11:44] Small Old Man
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
[11:46] Small Old Man
    Nuribotoke.
[11:47] Small Old Man
    A youkai that hides in the shadows of
    altars and such, and suddenly attacks.
[11:52] Nuribotoke
    If you keep acting up,
    I'll shoot this into her!
[11:57] Takahashi
    Go for it.
[11:58] Nuribotoke
    Huh?
[11:59] Takahashi
    Say...
[12:00] Takahashi
    You're fighting with Abe-sensei, right?
[12:03] Takahashi
    Let me tell you how to boost
    your odds of winning.
[12:06] Nuribotoke
    Hey! Stay back!
[12:07] Takahashi
    In order to defeat that abnormally good guy,
[12:11] Takahashi
    you need to be the ultimate bad guy.
[12:14] Takahashi
    But just a normal bad guy won't do.
[12:16] Takahashi
    The more Abe-sensei is a good guy...
[12:19] Takahashi
    the more you need to be absolute lowlifes
    who'll do the absolute worst things.
[12:26] Takahashi
    Like this.
[12:29] Utagawa
    Akira...sa...
[12:31] Nuribotoke
    Huh? Wait... huh?
[12:34] Takahashi
    It's very clear to me that you don't
    have the resolve to hurt Kuniko.
[12:38] Takahashi
    There's no way someone as half-assed as you
[12:41] Takahashi
    has a chance against someone
    who's willing to do anything.
[12:45] Takahashi
    Oh, dear. Maybe I frightened
    her a bit too much.
[12:48] Kurai
    Akira!
[12:49] Kurai
    What the hell are you doing?!
[12:51] Takahashi
    Aw, so you can get mad!
[12:54] Takahashi
    I feel bad for what I did to Kuniko...
[12:57] Takahashi
    But this is nothing for someone like her.
[13:00] Sano
    U-Utagawa-san, are you okay?
[13:03] Utagawa
    Yeah...
[13:05] Takahashi
    See? She's fi—
[13:08] Takahashi
    What is this?
[13:10] Takahashi
    I've lived over a hundred years
    and haven't felt pain like this...
[13:13] Utagawa
    You should be glad I didn't crush them!
[13:16] Utagawa
    How dare you put your hand through
    a girl's chest and leave a hole in it?!
[13:19] Utagawa
    You're the worst!
[13:22] Kurai
    That ring...
[13:25] Utagawa
    Seimei-sensei gave it to me.
[13:30] (Flashback) Haruaki
    I wanted to give you this, Utagawa-san.
[13:35] (Flashback) Haruaki
    It's the ring that Nyuudou-kun
    gave to Ruri-chan.
[13:38] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Wh-Why do you have this, Sensei?
[13:42] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Renka-san asked me to give it to you.
[13:46] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Utagawa-san...
[13:48] (Flashback) Haruaki
    No.
[13:50] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Ruri-chan.
[13:55] Takahashi
    I was shocked at first, too.
[13:58] Takahashi
    I never thought...
[14:00] Haruaki
    I have just one more question!
[14:04] (Flashback) Haruaki
    The place where you first
    met Utagawa-san...
[14:07] (Flashback) Haruaki
    Was it the hospital where
    Nyuudou-kun's mother was staying?
[14:12] Takahashi
    ...he would ever ask me that.
[14:17] Takahashi
    Now, Nyuudou-kun.
[14:18] Takahashi
    Make sure you listen carefully
    and don't look away.
[14:24] Takahashi
    And listen to how
[14:26] Takahashi
    the departed-soul youkai, the gashadokuro
    Kuniko Utagawa, was born.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Ichigankoku Hospital
[14:36] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Starting today...
[14:38] (Flashback) Takahashi
    I've transferred to this
    hospital to start my residency.
[14:41] (Flashback) Takahashi
    My name is Akira Takahashi.
[14:43] (Flashback) Takahashi
    I still don't know much about huma—
[14:45] (Flashback) Takahashi
    er, about this hospital, so I'll be counting
    on you all to teach me the ropes.
[14:50] (Flashback) Nurses
    He's so hot!
[14:51] (Flashback) Head Nurse
    Hey.
[14:52] Takahashi
    The president of this hospital is
    actually a youkai disguised as a human.
[14:56] Takahashi
    I'm so happy I get to be at a human hospital.
[15:00] Takahashi
    Not to mention...
[15:03] Takahashi
    I sense a lot of spirit
    energy at this hospital.
SIGN    Exam Room 2
SIGN    Exam Room 2
[15:07] (Flashback) Nurse
    And this is exam room 2.
[15:11] (Flashback) Takahashi
    May I look at the emergency staircase?
SIGN    Exam Room 2
[15:13] (Flashback) Nurse
    Huh? Oh, no, not there.
[15:16] (Flashback) Nurse
    A ghost appears there.
[15:17] (Flashback) Takahashi
    A ghost?
[15:18] (Flashback) Nurse
    Nurses have almost fallen there,
    and a patient saw a ghost there.
[15:23] (Flashback) Nurse
    It could be that girl from two months ago...
[15:26] (Flashback) Nurse
    Huh?
[15:28] (Flashback) Nurse
    The door opened on its own.
[15:37] (Flashback) Takahashi
    A gashadokuro?!
[15:39] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Wow... I've never seen one before!
[15:42] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Say, what are you doing
    at a human hospital?
[15:45] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Whoa there.
[15:47] (Flashback) Takahashi
    I see.
[15:49] (Flashback) Takahashi
    You clearly lack reason.
[15:54] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Then I'll have to examine
    you even more closely.
[15:59] Takahashi
    I see...
[16:01] Takahashi
    Lots of humans souls
    have gathered together.
[16:04] Takahashi
    For all of these souls to come
    together would require...
[16:09] (Flashback) Takahashi
    There!
[16:11] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Let me have a closer look!
[16:13] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Just one of the souls is a different color.
[16:15] (Flashback) Takahashi
    I see. You must be the
    gashadokuro's core.
[16:18] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Your regret is what summoned all
    these souls of the dead here and...
[16:23] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Oh, dear...
[16:33] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Ah, this is great.
[16:35] (Flashback) Takahashi
    You are full of energy!
[16:37] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Tell me even more about you!
[16:40] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Why are you here?
[16:42] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Are you still attached
    to your remaining family?
[16:44] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Did you have a fight with a friend
    or romantic partner and part ways?
[16:49] (Flashback) Takahashi
    I saw some hesitation just now.
[16:51] (Flashback) Takahashi
    You can't fool a dodomeki's eyes.
[16:54] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Then I'll go ahead and
    grant your wish for you.
[16:58] (Flashback) Takahashi
    What do you want to do?
[17:00] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Tell me.
[17:02] (Flashback) Gashadokuro
    I...
[17:09] (Flashback) Gashadokuro
    I want... to... apologize...
[17:12] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Then I'll give you a chance to do that.
[17:15] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Now, come to me.
[17:30] (Flashback) Head Nurse
    Sensei?
[17:32] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Oh, it's you.
[17:34] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Hey, look at this.
SIGN    Exam Room 2
[17:36] (Flashback) Takahashi
    It's a soul of a gashadokuro.
[17:40] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Isn't it beautiful?
[17:43] (Flashback) Takahashi
    I want to give this girl...
[17:46] (Flashback) Takahashi
    a beautiful body.
[17:48] Ruri
    Rensuke-kun!
[17:50] Ruri
    Wait, Rensuke-kun!
[17:54] Ruri
    I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared...
[17:58] Ruri
    But even so, I love...
[18:04] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Huh?
[18:06] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Where am I?
[18:07] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Oh? You're awake?
[18:09] (Flashback) Takahashi
    How's that body feel?
    Is it moving properly?
[18:13] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Also, I hope you like your face, too.
[18:19] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Is this... me?
[18:21] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Wait, wait, wait, what's going on?!
[18:24] Utagawa
    Why?!
[18:24] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Now, now, calm down.
[18:25] (Flashback) Takahashi
    If you panic that much...
[18:27] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Oh, dear.
[18:28] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Gah! What is this?!
[18:31] (Flashback) Takahashi
    If you let your guard down,
[18:32] (Flashback) Takahashi
    you won't be able to keep your human form
    and you'll turn into that, so be careful.
SIGN    Takahashi
    Youkai General Hospital
[18:37] (Flashback) Utagawa
    I see.
[18:38] (Flashback) Utagawa
    I think I understand that there are actually
    youkai and I've become a youkai myself.
[18:45] (Flashback) Utagawa
    I guess Rensuke-kun is also a youkai.
[18:47] (Flashback) Utagawa
    I had no idea...
[18:50] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Well, now you can find out all about him.
[18:53] (Flashback) Takahashi
    I'm jealous.
[18:55] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Huh?
[18:56] (Flashback) Takahashi
    I love learning new things.
[18:59] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Learning about someone is my
    way of showing them respect.
[19:03] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Learning about someone...
[19:06] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Hey! Could you tell me
    more about youkai?
[19:10] (Flashback) Utagawa
    I want to learn more and
    understand everything,
[19:12] (Flashback) Utagawa
    and then tell Rensuke-kun that I love him.
[19:16] (Flashback) Utagawa
    And... maybe go to the same
    school as Rensuke-kun.
[19:20] (Flashback) Takahashi
    I see. You're in fifth grade right now?
[19:24] (Flashback) Takahashi
    How's your academic ability?
[19:26] (Flashback) Utagawa
    I was in the hospital forever,
    so I never went to grade school.
[19:30] (Flashback) Takahashi
    You have five years until high school.
[19:32] (Flashback) Takahashi
    If we can fill you up with the very
    minimum amount of knowledge...
[19:35] (Flashback) Utagawa
    I'll do my best!
[19:36] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Rensuke-kun's super smart, so I'm going
    to be a girl worthy of being at his side!
[19:41] (Flashback) Takahashi
    And can you do that?
[19:42] (Flashback) Utagawa
    It's not about if I can or can't.
    I'm going to do it!
[19:46] Utagawa
    I have to.
[19:48] Utagawa
    This time, for sure...
[19:50] Utagawa
    I'm going to become a girl worthy
    of being by Rensuke-kun's side!
[19:54] (Flashback) Yamazaki
    So... is she studying late again?
[19:58] (Flashback) Yamazaki
    That can't be good for her health.
[20:01] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Well, I am a doctor, so I told her to stop.
[20:03] (Flashback) Takahashi
    I told her staying up too
    late is bad for her skin,
[20:06] (Flashback) Takahashi
    then she started wearing
    face masks while studying.
[20:09] (Flashback) Takahashi
    How can I compete with that?
[20:11] (Flashback) Takahashi
    Now, then...
[20:12] (Flashback) Takahashi
    I'm gonna go out for
    drinks with the principal.
[20:15] (Flashback) Yamazaki
    This late?
[20:16] (Flashback) Takahashi
    As a reward for her hard work...
[20:19] (Flashback) Takahashi
    If she can get into high school next year,
[20:20] (Flashback) Takahashi
    I figured I'd pull some strings
    to get her into the same class
[20:23] (Flashback) Takahashi
    as the kid who's on her mind.
[20:26] (Flashback) Yamazaki
    You're a really good guy sometimes,
    and that's what makes you so unfair.
SIGN    One Year Later
SIGN    Principal's Office
[20:34] (Flashback) Principal
    Since you got a perfect score
    on the academic ability test,
[20:38] (Flashback) Principal
    I'd like you to give a greeting
    on behalf of all new students
[20:40] (Flashback) Principal
    at tomorrow's entrance ceremony.
[20:42] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Yes, sir.
[20:45] (Flashback) Principal
    Oh, actually, there's one other
    student who got a perfect score.
[20:49] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    Pardon me.
[20:54] Utagawa
    It's Rensuke-kun!
[20:59] (Flashback) Principal
    Rensuke Nyuudou-kun.
[21:01] Utagawa
    It's Rensuke-kun!
[21:01] (Flashback) Principal
    This is the other student
    who got a perfect score.
[21:05] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    Huh? What's wrong?
[21:07] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Oh, I-I'm sorry...
[21:09] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Um, I just happened to see my father
    wearing women's underwear yesterday...
[21:15] (Flashback) Nyuudou
    Th-That must've... been shocking...
[21:17] Utagawa
    Why are you crying, me?!
[21:20] Utagawa
    You need to look him in the eye
    and tell him you're sorry!
[21:23] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Um...
[21:27] Utagawa
    Oh, no. What do I do?
[21:29] Utagawa
    I was finally able to see Rensuke-kun again,
[21:31] Utagawa
    but now that he's actually in front of me...
[21:34] Utagawa
    I'm scared to open up to him.
[21:37] Utagawa
    I'm the one who was all talk
    and hurt him when I told him
[21:39] Utagawa
    I didn't care about what he looked like,
    then took one look at him and got scared...
[21:44] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Um, I...
[21:46] Utagawa
    I wonder what Rensuke-kun thinks...
[21:49] (Flashback) Utagawa
    I...
[21:51] Utagawa
    I came this far because
    I wanted to apologize...
[21:54] Utagawa
    But I'm scared that he'll hate me.
[21:58] (Flashback) Utagawa
    I'm...
[21:59] (Flashback) Utagawa
    Kuniko Utagawa.
[22:03] Utagawa
    How can I be such a coward?
[22:07] (Flashback) Utagawa
    It's a pleasure to meet you, Nyuudou-kun.
[22:10] Utagawa
    And from that day on,
    I became Rensuke-kun's...
[22:13] Utagawa
    No. I became Nyuudou-kun's
    classmate, Utagawa-san.

Season 1

24 - The Bond Continuing with Ren-Ren. The Teacher from Ghoul School Will Do His Best!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:04] RENJOU
    I had no idea you had a
    past like that, Kuniko...
[00:08] UTAGAWA
    If I had told everyone sooner,
    this might not have happened.
[00:13] UTAGAWA
    I can never regret my past enough.
[00:15] UTAGAWA
    But I don't have time for regrets right now.
[00:20] UTAGAWA
    I need to get Nyuudou-kun back!
[00:23] KURAI
    I now understand your background.
[00:26] KURAI
    But that has nothing to do with
    what's going on with Abe-sensei.
[00:29] KURAI
    I cannot withdraw.
[00:34] TAKAHASHI
    Aw, no way.
[00:37] TAKAHASHI
    I was using my youkai magic to
    look in every direction, too.
[00:40] KURAI
    Your eye movements, blinking...
[00:43] KURAI
    I simply moved into one of
    those momentary blind spots.
[00:46] KURAI
    It serves you right! If you
    weren't around, I'd never lose.
[00:52] TAKAHASHI
    Thoughts like that are exactly
    what cause you to lose.
[00:57] UTAGAWA
    It's not just Akira-san
    who's powerful, Kurai-san.
[01:01] UTAGAWA
    I'll keep Kurai-san held up here.
[01:04] UTAGAWA
    Sano-kun, take Seimei-sensei upstairs.
[01:06] SANO
    But Utagawa-san, you should
    see Nyuudou and talk to him...
[01:10] UTAGAWA
    That can wait until after it's all over!
[01:12] SANO
    But...
[01:13] HARUAKI (AMAAKI)
    Sano-kun, let's go!
[01:14] HARUAKI (AMAAKI)
    So that she and Nyuudou-kun can start over.
[01:18] HARUAKI (AMAAKI)
    We need to win this so it can happen!
[01:20] SERVANT 1
    Don't let them go!
[01:22] SERVANT 2
    Capture Haruaki Abe at all costs!
[01:24] RENJOU
    We'll hold back everyone on this floor!
[01:27] MAMEKICHI
    You two head up there and knock
    Nyuudou-kun's dad's clothes off him!
[01:31] HARUAKI (AMAAKI)
    Thanks!
[01:34] KURAI
    He won't be able to protect
    Abe-sensei on his own.
[01:37] TAKAHASHI
    Oh, I don't know about that.
[01:39] KURAI
    What are you saying?
[01:40] TAKAHASHI
    It's just that I saw how this is going to end.
[01:44] TAKAHASHI
    Even so, I can't move anymore.
[01:48] TAKAHASHI
    I'll just have to see what happens.
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    Episode 24
    "The Bond Continuing with
    Ren-Ren. The Teacher from
    Ghoul School Will
    Do His Best!"
[03:23] TAMAO
    I'm scared!
[03:26] SMALL OLD MAN
    Laid-Back Youkai Dictionary.
[03:28] SMALL OLD MAN
    Mikoshi-nyuudou.
[03:30] SMALL OLD MAN
    A huge one-eyed youkai.
[03:32] SMALL OLD MAN
    It gets bigger every time
    eye contact is made.
[03:34] KOU
    Piss off already!
[03:37] MIKOSHI NYUUDOU WIFE
    Hey! What do you think you're
    doing to my husband?!
[03:40] MAEDA
    Gah! There's another one!
[03:43] MUJINA
    Nice quick turn!
[03:44] KOU
    This is bad. I'm running
    out of spirit energy.
[03:48] MAEDA
    And I'm running out of stamina.
[03:50] MIKOSHI NYUUDOU WIFE AND HUSBAND
    You're not getting away!
[03:53] MUJINA
    That's...
[03:56] MUJINA
    Guess I'll give it a shot!
[03:57] MUJINA
    Tamao! See that huge window up there?
[04:00] MUJINA
    That's probably Nyuudou's room!
[04:03] TAMAO
    Huh?
[04:03] MUJINA
    The rest is up to you!
[04:07] TAMAO
    And twirl.
[04:08] SMALL OLD MAN
    Ten points!
[04:09] MUJINA
    Just keep running, Tamao!
[04:11] TAMAO
    Ren-Ren...
[04:12] MIKOSHI NYUUDOU WIFE
    You're not getting away!
[04:14] TAMAO
    Because of you... I've been able to
    push myself harder than before.
[04:19] MIKOSHI NYUUDOU WIFE
    Stop running around!
[04:25] TAMAO
    So, Ren-Ren...
[04:38] TAMAO
    I finally found you!
[04:40] TAMAO
    There's something I want
    to give you, Ren-Ren.
[04:44] TAMAO
    Everyone got me here just
    so I could give you this.
[04:48] TAMAO
    You know...
[04:50] TAMAO
    I was able to get a 38 because of you!
[04:53] NYUUDOU
    You came all this way to show me this?
[04:56] TAMAO
    Yup!
[04:58] NYUUDOU
    That's amazing, Tama.
[05:00] NYUUDOU
    You must've worked really hard.
[05:08] TAMAO
    There, there. You must've worked
    really hard, too, Ren-Ren.
[05:14] TAMAO
    I see. So Utagawa-chan was Ruri-chan.
[05:19] NYUUDOU
    Yeah.
[05:21] NYUUDOU
    I just don't know what to do anymore.
[05:25] NYUUDOU
    Not to mention, all of you got
    dragged into this whole mess,
[05:29] NYUUDOU
    and I can't even do anything.
[05:31] NYUUDOU
    Tamao... what should I do?
[05:34] TAMAO
    You have to choose that
    for yourself, Ren-Ren.
[05:38] TAMAO
    Don't think about your home life,
    and don't do this for someone else.
[05:42] TAMAO
    Use your heart to decide
    what Ren-Ren wants.
[05:47] TAMAO
    Even if that ends up being inconvenient
    to anyone... including us...
[05:51] TAMAO
    I won't quit being your best friend.
[05:55] TAMAO
    So you can relax and decide.
[05:59] HAJIME
    That opinion is a fine one to have,
[06:01] HAJIME
    but there are times when you
    need to listen to your elders.
[06:05] NYUUDOU
    Dad...
[06:07] HAJIME
    I didn't think any of you
    would make it to this floor.
[06:10] TAMAO
    It's nice to meet you.
[06:12] TAMAO
    I'm Ren-Ren's best friend, Tamao.
[06:14] HAJIME
    Nice to meet you. I'm Rensuke's father.
[06:17] TAMAO
    So, yeah. Depending on Ren-Ren's answer,
[06:20] TAMAO
    I'd like you to take back his withdrawal
[06:22] TAMAO
    and acknowledge Seimei as
    Class 3's teacher... please.
[06:25] HAJIME
    I cannot do that.
[06:27] HAJIME
    That man's power to exorcise
    demons is dangerous.
[06:30] HAJIME
    He may eventually use that
    power against you all someday.
[06:36] NYUUDOU
    Tama!
[06:36] TAMAO
    I don't know about Seimei's
    powers or whatever,
[06:39] TAMAO
    but if I were a bad guy, I could've
    used my claws to kill you, sir.
[06:44] TAMAO
    Hijita could use his bogs to
    drown people if he wanted to,
[06:48] TAMAO
    and if anyone were as strong
    as Oota and Utagawa-chan,
[06:51] TAMAO
    they could easily crush people.
[06:53] TAMAO
    Everything depends on who is using
    it and what they're using it for.
[06:56] HAJIME
    And that's exactly why it's my job
[06:59] HAJIME
    to get rid of anything that
    could prove to be an obstacle.
[07:03] HAJIME
    You understand, don't you, Rensuke?
[07:05] HAJIME
    Renka risked her life giving birth to you.
[07:08] HAJIME
    I will protect you for Renka's sake, as well.
[07:10] TAMAO
    Well, Seimei and I got asked by
    Ren-Ren's mom to watch over him!
[07:16] HAJIME
    Wh-What nonsense are you spouting?
[07:18] TAMAO
    It's not nonsense!
[07:19] TAMAO
    She was really happy when Seimei told
    her how Ren-Ren was doing in school!
[07:25] HAJIME
    That's enough!
[07:26] HAJIME
    Sorry, but we'll have to keep you
    confined until all of this is over.
[07:29] NYUUDOU
    Tamao!
[07:30] TAMAO
    Ren-Ren!
[07:31] TAMAO
    Once you cross that line,
    Seimei will be waiting for you!
[07:36] TAMAO
    You've got this, Ren-Ren!
[07:42] HAJIME
    I'll leave him to you.
[07:43] SERVANT YOUKAI 1
    Yes, sir.
[07:45] SERVANT YOUKAI 1
    Hey! Stop squirming!
[07:46] SERVANT YOUKAI 2
    Give him some cat treats.
[07:50] TAMAO
    What the hell? This is super tasty.
[07:52] SERVANT YOUKAI 1
    What a stupid cat.
[07:54] SERVANT YOUKAI 2
    I'm sure the master is worried if an animal
    youkai with no intelligence like this
[07:58] SERVANT YOUKAI 2
    is Rensuke-sama's school friend.
[08:00] TAMAO
    What'd you say?!
[08:01] HAJIME
    It doesn't matter what kind
    of youkai his friend is.
[08:04] HAJIME
    Enough with those vulgar comments.
[08:06] SERVANT YOUKAI 1 & 2
    O-Our apologies...
[08:09] HAJIME
    Don't forget. Our duty is to make this
    place easier for all youkai to live in.
[08:15] HAJIME
    Our only enemy is Haruaki Abe,
    the one who may threaten that.
[08:19] HAJIME
    The only two left are
    Haruaki Abe and Mikoto Sano.
[08:22] HAJIME
    We will capture them on this floor.
[08:25] TAMAO
    Th-The reason I was able to do better in
    school is because of Ren-Ren and Seimei!
[08:31] TAMAO
    Don't forget that, either!
[08:34] HAJIME
    I am aware.
[08:41] NYUUDOU
    I need to decide... huh?
[08:46] NYUUDOU
    Wow. He even wrote his name correctly.
SIGN    Tamao Akisame
[08:50] NYUUDOU
    Hm? There's something on the back...
SIGN    I'll be waiting on the roof.
SIGN    Haruaki
[08:53] HARUAKI
    I'll be waiting on the roof!
[08:56] (Flashback) TAMAO
    Everyone got me here just
    so I could give you this.
[09:02] NYUUDOU
    Just so that Tama could bring me this...
[09:05] NYUUDOU
    They all...
[09:07] NYUUDOU
    They all came here just for that?
[09:09] (Flashback) TAMAO
    You've got this, Ren-Ren!
[09:12] NYUUDOU
    Right...
[09:14] NYUUDOU
    I have to go with my own two feet.
[09:17] NYUUDOU
    Even I...
[09:20] NYUUDOU
    Even I...
[09:22] NYUUDOU
    can help Seimei win just
    like the rest of them.
[09:26] NYUUDOU
    That's my choice!
[09:29] SANO
    We're almost to the roof.
[09:32] HAJIME
    This ends here.
[09:34] HAJIME
    Surrender, Sensei.
[09:37] HAJIME
    I can tell that you respect your students.
[09:41] HAJIME
    But humans and youkai...
[09:43] HAJIME
    The complicated relationship
    between different species
[09:46] HAJIME
    cannot be changed with
    just your platitudes!
[09:50] (Flashback) HAJIME
    Give up on the baby?
[09:52] (Flashback) HAJIME
    B-But why?
[09:54] (Flashback) TAKAHASHI
    Because it's too risky.
[09:57] (Flashback) TAKAHASHI
    When the mother is human,
[09:59] (Flashback) TAKAHASHI
    she uses up something else in
    exchange for the spirit energy
[10:02] (Flashback) TAKAHASHI
    necessary to give birth to a youkai.
[10:04] (Flashback) HAJIME
    Something else?
[10:05] (Flashback) TAKAHASHI
    The mother's life force.
[10:09] (Flashback) KURAI
    Do something!
[10:11] (Flashback) KURAI
    You're a doctor, aren't you?!
[10:12] (Flashback) TAKAHASHI
    Doctors aren't gods, you know.
[10:15] (Flashback) TAKAHASHI
    Not to mention, there's
    currently a really shitty,
[10:17] (Flashback) TAKAHASHI
    unnecessary rule saying youkai are
    to be treated at youkai hospitals,
[10:21] (Flashback) TAKAHASHI
    and humans at human hospitals.
[10:23] (Flashback) TAKAHASHI
    Even if we can take care of it at a
    youkai hospital before it's born,
[10:26] (Flashback) TAKAHASHI
    it'll end up at a human
    hospital once it's born.
[10:29] (Flashback) TAKAHASHI
    You realize that, don't you?
[10:31] (Flashback) RENKA
    I'm still having this baby.
[10:33] (Flashback) RENKA
    I won't accept that a child between
    a human and a youkai is bad.
[10:37] (Flashback) RENKA
    It's like saying that my child
    with Hajime-kun isn't allowed.
[10:41] (Flashback) RENKA
    I'll never accept that.
[10:46] HAJIME
    Things can't go on
    with these current rules.
[10:48] HAJIME
    It's not just Renka.
    Since this child is half human,
[10:52] HAJIME
    we might encounter illnesses that
    youkai medicine won't understand.
[10:56] HAJIME
    We need to exchange medical
    information with the human world,
[11:00] HAJIME
    and I'm going to change the youkai rules.
[11:03] HAJIME
    For your sakes...
    No, for the sake of all youkai...
[11:10] (Flashback) KURAI
    Sir, Renka-sama's condition has...
[11:15] HAJIME
    No... Throwing out everything
    right now just to see Renka
[11:19] HAJIME
    would be the biggest insult to her.
[11:24] (Flashback) RENKA
    Hajime-kun... I'm sure you're
    working hard right about now.
[11:29] (Flashback) RENKA
    Take care of Rensuke for me.
[11:35] HAJIME
    I promised her...
[11:37] HAJIME
    I promised I'd protect
    Rensuke for Renka's sake.
[11:40] HAJIME
    That's why I'm going to get rid
    of any threats around Rensuke.
[11:44] HARUAKI (AMAAKI)
    Sano-kun!
[11:48] HARUAKI (AMAAKI)
    I-I get that you're willing to
    risk your life for your son.
[11:53] HARUAKI (AMAAKI)
    But what about how your son feels?
[11:57] HARUAKI (AMAAKI)
    Nothing you've said takes your
    son's feelings into account at all!
[12:02] HAJIME
    Rensuke is still only sixteen.
[12:04] HAJIME
    He's not at an age where he can
    make sound decisions for himself.
[12:07] HAJIME
    That's why I must protect him as his father.
[12:11] SANO
    Aren't you babying Nyuudou a bit too much?
[12:14] SANO
    Yeah, he's technically a minor,
[12:16] SANO
    but have you actually
    considered what Nyuudou wants?
[12:22] NYUUDOU
    That was close. I slipped.
[12:26] NYUUDOU
    Oh, crap!
[12:28] HAJIME
    Rensuke! What are you doing out there?!
[12:31] HAJIME
    Come back here!
[12:35] HAJIME
    When did Rensuke get so big?
[12:39] HAJIME
    Outside guards! Capture Rensuke!
[12:42] MIKOSHI NYUUDOU WIFE
    Rensuke-sama! It's dangerous
    out here! Please go back in!
[12:45] NYUUDOU
    Shut up! If you're actually worried about
    me, get outta my way, dumbass!
[12:50] MIKOSHI NYUUDOU WIFE
    Rensuke-sama... What vulgar language...
[12:55] NYUUDOU
    The sun's coming out.
[12:59] NYUUDOU
    Huh? Something just flashed?
[13:04] NYUUDOU
    Huh?
[13:04] NYUUDOU
    I see... So that's what's going on!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
SIGN    A Terrified Teacher at Ghoul School!
[13:13] NYUUDOU
    Man... I got this far, and I still can't help
    but wish I was as light as Tamao or Sano.
[13:23] NYUUDOU
    But that doesn't matter.
[13:25] NYUUDOU
    Even if I'm envious of others, I just
    need to keep loving myself, too!
[13:29] NYUUDOU
    All right, I got to the roof.
[13:33] NYUUDOU
    Now, if I can just see Seimei, I win—
[13:34] HAJIME
    Unfortunately, that won't be happening.
[13:36] NYUUDOU
    I figured you'd beat me.
[13:39] HAJIME
    As you can see, we've
    captured Abe-sensei.
[13:42] HAJIME
    Which means that the
    Nyuudou family wins.
[13:45] HAJIME
    There's no need to be scared.
    We're not going to kill you.
[13:49] HAJIME
    I'll refer you to a human school and...
[13:51] HARUAKI (AMAAKI)
    O-Of course I'm scared... I mean...
[13:55] HARUAKI (AMAAKI)
    I'm the older brother who's terrified
    of youkai, unlike my little brother!
[14:00] HAJIME
    Older brother?
[14:02] HAJIME
    What do you mean?
[14:03] HAJIME
    Then the real one is...
[14:04] NYUUDOU
    He'll be here soon.
[14:06] HAJIME
    Rensuke?
[14:08] NYUUDOU
    I think you finally looked me in the eye.
[14:12] NYUUDOU
    I think I've been wanting to have a proper
    conversation with you for a long time.
[14:19] HAJIME
    Come to think of it...
[14:21] HAJIME
    When was the last time I had a
    father-son conversation with Rensuke?
[14:26] NYUUDOU
    I'm going to walk into the
    future with my own two feet.
[14:30] NYUUDOU
    And to make that happen,
    I'm going to let Seimei win!
[14:33] HAJIME
    Rensuke!
[14:46] HARUAKI
    Jeez... You're way too reckless.
[14:49] NYUUDOU
    Sorry.
[14:51] NYUUDOU
    I always wanted to try being as
    reckless as you at least once.
[15:01] ALL
    W-We won!
[15:05] KURAI
    We lost?
[15:08] KURAI
    And Abe-sensei has a twin?
[15:10] KURAI
    How is that fair?
[15:11] TAKAHASHI
    Knowledge really is important.
[15:14] TAKAHASHI
    Because of his ancestor,
[15:17] TAKAHASHI
    Abe-sensei kept his family details private.
[15:20] TAKAHASHI
    That's why you all didn't know that
    he had an older twin brother.
[15:24] TAKAHASHI
    On the other hand, Abe-sensei
    had seen my youkai magic before,
[15:28] TAKAHASHI
    and he already knew about the
    powers that dodomeki have.
[15:33] KURAI
    A dodomeki's powers?
[15:35] TAKAHASHI
    Abe-sensei was taking advantage of
    your dodomeki eyes from the start.
[15:41] TAKAHASHI
    We put Yamazaki-kun, disguised as Abe-sensei,
    in the group that attacked from the front,
[15:45] TAKAHASHI
    to be purposely found by you, who can
    see the flow of people's spirit energy,
[15:48] TAKAHASHI
    and we made you think that the
    human with no flow of spirit energy
[15:53] TAKAHASHI
    was actually Haruaki Abe.
[15:55] TAKAHASHI
    How ironic... for a youkai
    to be spooked by a human.
[16:01] YANAGIDA
    But wow, I'm surprised you spotted
    us all the way up there.
[16:07] NYUUDOU
    Oh, yeah.
[16:08] NYUUDOU
    From the break in the clouds, I saw the
    sunlight reflecting off Haruaki's prayer beads.
[16:13] NYUUDOU
    And I remembered from that time with
    the kasha that Seimei had a twin,
[16:17] NYUUDOU
    so I figured it all out.
[16:19] HARUAKI
    You're a genius!
[16:20] MARSHMALLOW
    You definitely have 130.0 vision!
[16:23] NYUUDOU
    Right?
[16:24] NYUUDOU
    I'm glad I'm a one-eyed youkai.
[16:30] HAJIME
    So you were up in the sky this whole time?
[16:33] HARUAKI
    Yes.
[16:34] HARUAKI
    I was hiding above a thunder cloud
    that the Raijin Ogata-kun formed.
[16:39] HARUAKI
    After that, I just had to wait
    until Nyuudou-kun came out.
[16:42] HARUAKI
    There was no point in winning
    if he didn't change.
[16:46] AMAAKI
    Haru!
[16:48] SANO
    Hey, this is an important part.
    Read the damn room.
[16:51] AMAAKI
    After all this scary stuff,
    I need to recharge on Haru!
[16:54] SANO
    Sometimes you're actually
    creepier than Seimei...
[16:58] AMAAKI
    I mean, I was suddenly kidnapped
    by an ittan-momen,
[17:00] AMAAKI
    then thrown into a youkai mansion...
[17:03] AMAAKI
    and I was supposed to act like
    Haru, so I could barely talk!
[17:06] AMAAKI
    I went through hell...
    and Takahashi is terrifying!
[17:09] HARUAKI
    I'm glad no one figured you out.
[17:11] AMAAKI
    I had no idea what to do, so I just
    kept a stern face to fool everyone.
[17:15] KURAI
    Sir!
[17:17] HARUAKI
    Everyone!
[17:20] KURAI
    I'm terribly sorry!
[17:22] KURAI
    I trusted in my powers too much.
    This is my blunder!
[17:25] HAJIME
    Raise your head.
[17:27] HAJIME
    I'm the one who gave you
    the orders to begin with.
[17:31] HAJIME
    I made you endure unnecessary shame.
[17:34] HAJIME
    I apologize to the rest of you, as well.
[17:39] HAJIME
    Abe-sensei.
[17:41] HAJIME
    We lose. I will call off Rensuke's
    withdrawal from school.
[17:47] TAMAO
    That's awesome!
[17:50] UTAGAWA
    Thank goodness...
[17:53] NYUUDOU
    Utagawa-san...
[17:54] NYUUDOU
    Er, um... Should I call you Ruri-chan?
[17:57] UTAGAWA
    Rensuke-kun!
[17:59] UTAGAWA
    I'm really sorry I got scared when
    I saw your face seven years ago.
[18:05] UTAGAWA
    I was startled, but I still
    love you, Rensuke-kun.
[18:10] UTAGAWA
    I want to start over as your friend.
[18:16] UTAGAWA
    Not as the me who has to
    live with Ruri's regrets...
[18:20] UTAGAWA
    But as Kuniko Utagawa... I want
    to become closer to you again.
[18:26] UTAGAWA
    I won't lose to my former self.
[18:29] UTAGAWA
    So...
[18:32] UTAGAWA
    Please look at me as I am right now.
[18:35] NYUUDOU
    Yeah... I'm sorry.
[18:38] NYUUDOU
    I have a feeling I wasn't able to
    properly see you before now, either.
[18:43] NYUUDOU
    So I'd also like to start over as
    friends and get closer, Kuniko-chan.
[18:50] UTAGAWA
    Thank you, Rensuke-kun!
[18:53] KOU
    Huh? You guys aren't gonna start dating?!
[18:55] NYUUDOU
    You... We're going to go at our own pace!
[18:58] RIN
    Well, anyway, I'm glad the class
    rep from Class 3 is back.
[19:03] NYUUDOU
    Yeah. Thanks, everyone.
[19:05] NYUUDOU
    Especially Mujina.
    I really need to pay you back.
[19:08] MUJINA
    Huh? Come on, stop that.
    That's not like you—
[19:12] NYUUDOU
    Pay you back for hitting me!
[19:15] MUJINA
    The hell's the big idea?!
[19:16] NYUUDOU
    Well, yesterday...
[19:18] (Flashback) MUJINA
    Then fight back like you
    usually do, you idiot.
[19:21] MUJINA
    Took you long enough!
[19:24] NYUUDOU
    This is more like me, isn't it?
[19:27] MUJINA
    I guess you have a point.
[19:29] MUJINA
    Okay, then I guess I need to
    pay you back for the payback.
[19:31] HARUAKI
    Huh? Where are Hijita-kun
    and the others, anyway?
[19:32] NYUUDOU
    What the hell? We should be even now.
[19:35] UTAGAWA
    They all turned to stone?
[19:38] NYUUDOU
    They were turned to stone
    by Medusa's youkai magic.
[19:42] HARUAKI
    I had no idea all this
    happened on the first floor.
[19:45] TAKAHASHI
    Well, you could probably do
    something about this, Abe-sensei.
[19:48] HARUAKI
    Yeah. If I use my powers to
    expel this youkai magic.
[19:52] HAJIME
    But...
[19:53] SANO
    Just watch, Mister.
[19:56] SANO
    I want the rest of you to watch, too.
[19:59] SANO
    So that you can see that Seimei's power
    isn't something that harms others.
[20:07] UTAGAWA
    It's so pretty...
[20:09] TAMAO
    So cool!
[20:10] TAMAO
    Everything depends on who is using
    it and what they're using it for.
[20:22] OOTA
    H-Huh?
[20:25] HIJITA
    Did I hit my head?
[20:27] NYUUDOU
    Hey.
[20:29] HIJITA
    Oh, Nyuudou!
[20:31] HIJITA
    Looks like everything's been settled.
[20:33] NYUUDOU
    I haven't even said anything yet.
[20:35] HIJITA
    I can tell just by looking at your face.
[20:38] HAJIME
    Abe-sensei.
[20:40] HAJIME
    I have nothing but admiration for you.
[20:43] HAJIME
    Please continue to look after Rensuke.
[20:47] HARUAKI
    Of course. It's not just me, though.
[20:51] HARUAKI
    Nyuudou-kun has plenty of friends who'll
    laugh with him, get mad with him,
[20:54] HARUAKI
    and sometimes even scold
    him, so please don't worry.
[21:00] (Flashback) RENKA
    Hey, Hajime-kun.
[21:02] (Flashback) RENKA
    What should we name our child?
[21:05] (Flashback) HAJIME
    If you don't mind, I'd like to take one
    of the characters from your name.
[21:09] (Flashback) RENKA
    Then we can take the "Ren" from
    my name, take the top part off,
SIGN    Kuniko Utagawa
SIGN    Rensuke Nyuudou
[21:13] (Flashback) RENKA
    and use the "Ren" that
    means to connect together.
[21:16] (Flashback) RENKA
    Because that character can mean
    to continue and to connect.
[21:20] (Flashback) RENKA
    I hope this precious little life will
    continue for my own sake, as well.
[21:25] (Flashback) RENKA
    And I hope this little one's life will
    continue to be filled with so many bonds.
[21:31] HARUAKI
    Hey, everyone. Why don't we take
    a photo to commemorate this moment?
[21:35] HARUAKI
    I mean... so that we never forget today.
[21:40] SANO
    You said something decent for once, Seimei.
[21:44] HIJITA
    All right, get ready!
[21:46] HARUAKI
    Okay...
[21:48] HARUAKI
    Now, wear whichever ones you want!
[21:54] SANO
    I was an idiot to praise you.
[21:56] HARUAKI
    I recommend this uniform for you, Sano-kun.
[21:58] SANO
    What? I ain't wearing that.
[22:00] HARUAKI
    I think this would suit
    your image, Yanagida-kun.
[22:02] YANAGIDA
    You think so?
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
SIGN    Explosive
[22:07] HARUAKI
    I'm Haruaki Abe.
[22:10] HARUAKI
    In April, as the cherry blossoms danced,
[22:12] HARUAKI
    I became the teacher I always
    wanted to be at Hyakki Academy,
[22:14] HARUAKI
    with a class that's filled with youkai.
[22:16] HARUAKI
    And as I made memories on this
    shore with uniforms dancing,
[22:20] HARUAKI
    I swore in my heart that I would continue
    to work hard with my students
[22:25] HARUAKI
    as a teacher at a ghoul school.