5 - A Robot and an Assassin Under One Roof Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:06] ROBOKO     Good morning. [00:13] ROBOKO     Time to wake up, Konoha-san. [00:19] KONOHA     Morning, Satoko-chan. [00:22] ROBOKO     Good morning. [00:31] KONOHA     Why are your hands cold? [00:33] SATOKO     That's not the problem here! [00:36] SIGN     Leaf 5     A Robot and an Assassin     Under One Roof [00:39] SIGN     A Few Hours Earlier [00:46] SIGN     Trash Collection Zone [00:48] SATOKO     Is this trash someone left behind? [00:54] SATOKO     Wh-What is this?! [01:00] SATOKO     Konoha-san! [01:05] SIGN     Present [01:09] MARIN     Behold! [01:10] MARIN     As expected... [01:11] MARIN     My robot is perfect! [01:13] SATOKO     What was that robot?! [01:16] MARIN     Oh, very well. [01:22] MARIN     I shall explain! [01:28] MARIN     Roboko is a robot equipped     with AI, modeled after you. [01:32] SATOKO     Oh... [01:33] MARIN     It's designed to do chores like you. [01:37] SATOKO     Ooh. [01:39] MARIN     Although, lately it's been learning a lot of new     features I don't even know about on its own. [01:44] SATOKO     Huh? [01:46] SATOKO     Wait, Konoha-san?! [01:47] SATOKO     She's eating as if nothing's wrong! [01:49] MARIN     Looks like she's unable to come to your aid. [01:52] SATOKO     What? Why doesn't she notice? [01:55] SATOKO     Th-Th-This is weird! [02:06] ROBOKO     What is the matter? [02:07] KONOHA     I feel like... [02:09] KONOHA     the miso soup isn't as good as usual. [02:14] ROBOKO     I feel it is rude to complain about     food that someone made for you. [02:18] KONOHA     I guess you're right. [02:19] SATOKO     She let the robot argue back! [02:21] SATOKO     So that's how I should respond... [02:24] MARIN     And now Glasses Assassin     is no longer a problem! [02:27] MARIN     Now, you will work for me, ninja girl! [02:32] SATOKO     Speaking of, what are you planning to     do by kidnapping me and not killing me? [02:39] MARIN     I'm the same way Glasses used to be. [02:51] SIGN     SHRIEK [02:52] MARIN     I leave too much evidence. [02:53] SIGN     236 Glasses [02:53] SIGN     237 Skull-chan [02:54] MARIN     And that's why I was low in the rankings. [02:55] SIGN     New Review [02:55] SIGN     Thank you for your quick work.      However, I think you leave behind too much evidence.     You do the job well, but I think you need a little more     than that...      I'll be leaving a 1-star review this time.      Please do your best next time. [02:55] SIGN     Anon (male) [03:01] SIGN     236 Glasses [03:01] SIGN     New Review [03:02] SIGN     Your work is sloppy and you leave too much evidence. [03:04] (Flashback) MARIN     We're the same. [03:11] MARIN     So I secretly considered her my rival, [03:13] SIGN     Assassin Ranking [03:13] MARIN     but she's been shooting up     in the rankings lately. [03:15] SIGN     Rank up [03:15] SIGN     98 Glasses [03:17] MARIN     Her reviews said that she left no traces. [03:24] MARIN     It made me curious,     so I decided to look into her. [03:32] MARIN     That's when I found out that she was     teaming up and working with you. [03:47] SATOKO     You have a skill that allows you     to leave no evidence, correct? [03:51] SATOKO     I suppose. [03:52] SATOKO     I can turn things into leaves. [03:55] MARIN     What?! That's amazing! [03:56] MARIN     You use magic?! [03:58] SATOKO     It's ninjutsu. [03:59] MARIN     A-Awesome! [04:01] SIGN     Thinking [04:01] SATOKO     That's right. Robots can't use ninja skills. [04:04] SATOKO     Surely Konoha-san will pick up on that [04:06] SATOKO     when they do a job together,     and then she'll realize it's a fake! [04:10] KONOHA     You're a fake. [04:13] SATOKO     I'm counting on you, Konoha-san! [04:15] MARIN     Hey, can you turn this chair back? [04:17] SATOKO     Please hurry and realize     that the robot isn't me. [04:23] MARIN     Well? Can you? [04:24] KONOHA     We've got work after this. [04:27] KONOHA     What do you want to do for dinner? [04:28] KONOHA     Make it here? Eat out afterward? [04:32] ROBOKO     I am [04:33] ROBOKO     fine anywhere as long as there is an outlet. [04:37] KONOHA     You're a child of the times... [04:38] MARIN     Oh, looks like they're heading to work. [04:40] MARIN     We should go to work, too. [04:43] MARIN     Show me what you've got, kunoichi. [04:46] MARIN     What are you worried about? [04:48] MARIN     It's no different from your previous job. [04:51] MARIN     There's no reason to stick with her. [04:54] MARIN     Look at Glasses. [04:55] MARIN     She doesn't even realize that's not you. [04:57] SATOKO     No! [04:58] SATOKO     Konoha-san will figure it out! [05:00] SATOKO     I'm going to make sure with my own eyes! [05:04] MARIN     Hey! Wait! [05:07] KONOHA     All right. [05:08] KONOHA     Done. [05:09] ROBOKO     Job complete. [05:11] SATOKO     Oh, there they— [05:14] KONOHA     Satoko-chan. The usual, please. [05:17] ROBOKO     What? [05:17] KONOHA     Don't "what?" me. The usual. [05:19] KONOHA     Where you turn the bodies into     leaves to erase the evidence. [05:22] ROBOKO     Oh, yes. Erase. [05:39] SATOKO     What was that feature?! [05:41] MARIN     No clue. I made it all on vibes. [05:44] MARIN     But wow, as expected of me. [05:47] SATOKO     That's something no human can do. [05:49] SATOKO     That's it! [05:50] SATOKO     Maybe she'll realize it now! [05:52] SATOKO     Konoha-san! [05:53] KONOHA     Satoko-chan... [05:55] KONOHA     You've powered up. [05:56] SATOKO     Why won't you realize?! [05:57] SIGN     SCREAM!! [05:57] SATOKO     Why?! [05:58] SATOKO     Are you doing a comedy skit?! [06:00] MARIN     Whoa! Hey! [06:00] SATOKO     It doesn't make sense! [06:02] SATOKO     Laser beams came from its eyes! [06:04] SATOKO     I'm not this metallic! [06:07] SATOKO     Could it be... you were playing     dumb so you could lure her out? [06:11] SATOKO     That's right! [06:12] SATOKO     She's the assassin who kidnapped me! [06:15] KONOHA     There are two Satoko-chans?! [06:17] SATOKO     Konoha-san?! [06:17] MARIN     Well, can't be helped now     that I've been caught. [06:21] MARIN     My name is Izutsumi Marin! [06:23] MARIN     I'm your rival! [06:25] SATOKO     Take another good look, Konoha-san. [06:31] SATOKO     Marin-san... [06:33] SATOKO     I can't accept Konoha-san being     genuinely fooled by this. [06:37] SATOKO     She's not supposed to be this stupid. [06:40] SATOKO     Is something coming from     the robot that hypnotizes her [06:43] SATOKO     into thinking it looks like me? [06:45] MARIN     Nope, nothing. [06:46] SATOKO     Nothing?! [06:47] MARIN     It's the spitting image. [06:48] SATOKO     The spitting image?! [06:49] SATOKO     Spitting... image? [06:53] ROBOKO     Tee-hee. [06:57] SATOKO     Listen here! [06:58] SATOKO     Look at this! [07:00] SATOKO     A robot can't do this! [07:01] SATOKO     Leaf-turning ninja technique! [07:03] SIGN     Charging [07:03] SATOKO     I turned this AC into leaves in an instant! [07:07] KONOHA     Isn't that one better? [07:09] MARIN     Cool. Maybe I'll come back and     retrieve it to use it for myself. [07:14] SATOKO     O-Oh, right! This morning's miso soup! [07:18] SATOKO     You said it wasn't good! [07:19] SATOKO     I can make better meals     than this robot, Konoha-san! [07:23] KONOHA     I'm sorry, Satoko-chan.     I see things clearly now. [07:26] SATOKO     Konoha-san! [07:27] KONOHA     Now, let's defeat these two together. [07:30] SIGN     BANG! [07:31] MARIN     We'll remember this! [07:38] KONOHA     Let's eat. [07:46] ROBOKO     How is it? [07:47] ROBOKO     Did the miso soup turn out delicious? [07:49] KONOHA     Hmm... [07:51] KONOHA     The flavor is a little weak. [07:53] ROBOKO     Sad... [07:54] KONOHA     But this is my first time trying     miso soup with eggplant. [07:59] KONOHA     It's good. [08:03] MARIN     Darn. [08:04] MARIN     Just you wait, Glasses Assassin! [08:07] SATOKO     Do you not need me because Roboko     can emit lasers from its eyes?! [08:13] MARIN     Ninkoro. [08:15] ROBOKO     Ninkoro. [08:36] ROBOKO     Smile. [08:42] SATOKO     Hello. [08:43] SATOKO     I'm Kusagakure Satoko. [08:45] SATOKO     After unintentionally     leaving the ninja village, [08:47] SATOKO     I was taken in by Konoha-san,     and we've been living together. [08:51] SATOKO     However, somehow I've been living     with an assassin girl named Marin [08:56] SATOKO     for a whole month now. [08:59] MARIN     Hey, kunoichi. Breakfast is ready. [09:03] SATOKO     Coming. [09:08] SATOKO     It's very delicious. [09:10] SATOKO     What is this dish called? [09:12] SIGN     You can't get enough of the melty cheese! [09:13] MARIN     It's called croque-monsieur. [09:15] MARIN     It's nice to have a Western-style     breakfast like this sometimes, right? [09:18] SATOKO     Yes! [09:24] KONOHA     Satoko-chan. [09:26] SIGN     Boiling [09:26] ROBOKO     Yes. Warm tea, correct? [09:31] KONOHA     Wow. How did you know? [09:35] ROBOKO     Your body temperature was lowering. [09:38] ROBOKO     And it has been some time     since you last hydrated. [09:38] SIGN     Today's Activity Log          7:00 Wake up     7:01 Sleep again     8:23 Wake up     8:26 Wash face / brush teeth     8:38 Breakfast     8:56 Lie down     11:13 Toilet     12:02 Lunch     12:34 Lie down [09:41] KONOHA     You're very attentive,     but it's kind of grossing me out. [09:49] ROBOKO     Konoha-san. [09:51] ROBOKO     Am I... useful? [09:55] KONOHA     Where's this coming from? [09:58] KONOHA     Yeah, you're useful. [10:02] ROBOKO     Then I am glad. [10:06] KONOHA     Though, lately, you give     the overwhelming impression [10:09] KONOHA     of a large home appliance when you sit. [10:13] KONOHA     You mainly cooked Japanese-style dishes,     but you've expanded your repertoire. [10:17] KONOHA     Your miso soup especially tastes better. [10:20] SATOKO     What? [10:21] SATOKO     Am I losing to a robot? [10:21] SIGN     Commentary [10:25] SATOKO     Marin-san! [10:27] MARIN     I told you to knock. [10:30] SATOKO     Could you teach me how to make     that, um... croque-monsieur? [10:35] MARIN     What's this about? [10:41] SATOKO     I thought she might like it if I learned some     new recipes beyond Japanese-style foods. [10:47] SATOKO     Konoha-san only smiles when it's time to eat. [10:52] MARIN     That's right! [10:54] MARIN     Normally, she's super stone-faced. [10:56] MARIN     Like in this picture! [10:58] MARIN     She's not smiling, but look how cool she looks! [11:00] SATOKO     Marin-san, could it be that you... [11:02] SIGN     Konoha [11:02] SIGN     Marin [11:02] SATOKO     like Konoha-san? [11:05] MARIN     N-No way! [11:06] MARIN     I'm only researching her as her rival! [11:11] ROBOKO     Hm. [11:12] ROBOKO     After my miso soup research, [11:14] SIGN     Studying [11:15] ROBOKO     I think I will hone my skills to be     of assistance in Konoha-san's job. [11:20] ROBOKO     Ding. [11:22] SIGN     Do not feed the cats!! [11:24] SIGN     Beware of Vicious Cats [11:24] MAO     I've finally located it, nyan. [11:26] MAO     The runaway ninja's lair. [11:27] MAO     I'll report this to everyone in     the village and plan an ambush, [11:30] MAO     and then it'll all be over, meow. [11:36] MAO     Who are you, meow?! [11:38] MAO     W-Wait a minute, meow! [11:40] MAO     This is a secret scroll passed     down among the Kusagakure. [11:43] MAO     If you remove this seal... [11:43] SIGN     Time until transformation     is complete: [11:45] MAO     Just for you, I'll tell you what happens. [11:47] MAO     So shut up and listen, meow! [11:49] ROBOKO     I have determined you are stalling for time. [11:49] SIGN     Kill [11:55] SIGN     GNYAAAAA [11:59] KONOHA     I'm home. [12:01] KONOHA     Wait, where'd all that blood come from?! [12:03] ROBOKO     I cut my finger while cooking. [12:06] KONOHA     Wha... [12:08] KONOHA     Are you okay? [12:10] KONOHA     I don't see any injuries anywhere. [12:13] ROBOKO     The wound must have healed already. [12:16] KONOHA     Really? [12:17] SIGN     Thank you [12:17] ROBOKO     Thank you for your concern. [12:18] SIGN     for your concern. [12:19] KONOHA     We have a job in the mountains tomorrow,     so I'm going to bed early. [12:22] ROBOKO     Right. [12:30] KONOHA     I'm exhausted. [12:32] ROBOKO     Good work today. [12:35] KONOHA     I would've gotten lost in the mountains     if you hadn't flown us out there. [12:41] ROBOKO     I was able to give it my all by     thinking about you, Konoha-san. [12:59] KONOHA     Whoa. You okay? [13:01] ROBOKO     Apologies. It seems I am tired from flying. [13:08] KONOHA     Flying ninja skills are draining. [13:10] KONOHA     Thanks for your hard work, Satoko-chan. [13:15] ROBOKO     Could you plug me into... an outlet? [13:18] KONOHA     Of course. [13:23] KONOHA     You're sleeping there tonight? [13:26] KONOHA     Okay, I'm turning off the lights. [13:29] KONOHA     Goodnight, Satoko-chan. [13:32] ROBOKO     Goodnight. [13:37] KONOHA     Brr. [13:38] KONOHA     That's right... We've... [13:41] ROBOKO     We've been sleeping together lately, [13:43] ROBOKO     so it's a bit lonely. [13:46] KONOHA     Satoko-chan. [13:56] ROBOKO     K-K-Konoha-san. [13:58] KONOHA     What's with that look? [14:01] KONOHA     I was a little cold, too. [14:05] KONOHA     Here, lie down. [14:15] KONOHA     Jeez, Satoko-chan. [14:19] KONOHA     Satoko-chan... [14:20] KONOHA     You're warm, like a charging phone. [14:27] KONOHA     The miso soups you make are still the best. [14:31] ROBOKO     You have said before that it was delicious,     so I prepared a full pot this time. [14:37] KONOHA     That's too much. [14:39] ROBOKO     Apologies. [14:42] SATOKO     Marin-san! [14:43] SATOKO     It's done! [14:45] SIGN     Satoko-Style     Shinobi's Croque-Monsieur [14:48] MARIN     This is good, kunoichi! [14:50] MARIN     Great job for your first try! [14:52] SATOKO     It's all thanks to your teaching, Marin-san. [14:55] SATOKO     I'll make some for Konoha-san next. [15:00] MARIN     All right, work complete! [15:03] MARIN     Thanks to you, kunoichi,     I'm rising in the rankings. [15:04] SIGN     162 Skull-chan [15:06] MARIN     Thanks a bunch! [15:08] MARIN     There, there, there. [15:08] SATOKO     It makes me so happy to be praised. [15:11] SIGN     162 Skull-chan [15:12] MARIN     But because of Roboko,     Glasses isn't coming down any. [15:13] SIGN     161 Glasses [15:17] MARIN     As expected of my rival. [15:19] SATOKO     I see. [15:21] SATOKO     Konoha-san is just fine without me. [15:29] MARIN     You know, you can go home if you want. [15:31] SATOKO     Huh? [15:32] MARIN     I'm starting to feel sorry for you. [15:35] MARIN     No matter how perfect my robot     is at tricking Glasses... [15:40] MARIN     Feeling like you're not needed     just sucks, doesn't it? [15:46] SATOKO     Marin-san... [15:49] MARIN     I had a sister before. [15:52] MARIN     Unlike me, she could do anything— [15:53] SATOKO     Thank you very much! [15:55] SATOKO     I'm going home, then! [15:56] MARIN     Huh? Hey! [15:58] MARIN     I was still talking! [15:59] SATOKO     So long! [16:00] MARIN     Get back here! [16:04] SIGN     Keep out [16:04] KONOHA     All done. [16:06] KONOHA     I'm getting hungry.     Let's head back after we eat. [16:09] KONOHA     Do you prefer a place with an outlet again? [16:11] ROBOKO     Yes, thank you. [16:14] STAFF     Welcome in. [16:17] KONOHA     Table for two. [16:23] KONOHA     The electric bill's been a lot higher lately, [16:26] KONOHA     so be mindful when you use it     for things other than charging. [16:30] ROBOKO     Have the household finances been tight? [16:32] KONOHA     Well, that's not exactly what I meant. [16:35] ROBOKO     The jobs you do pay you very well. [16:39] ROBOKO     However, since the original... [16:41] ROBOKO     I mean, since I turned     your furniture into leaves, [16:45] ROBOKO     we have been frugal in     buying new appliances, [16:48] ROBOKO     thus making our standard of living low. [16:52] KONOHA     I'm surprised. You noticed all that? [16:57] ROBOKO     Of course. Because it's about you. [17:01] KONOHA     What? That's kind of scary. [17:06] ROBOKO     If you don't mind, could you tell me [17:08] ROBOKO     the reason you chose this line     of work, raise your ranking, [17:12] ROBOKO     and have the need to earn a lot of money? [17:22] KONOHA     I guess I can tell you. [17:24] KONOHA     But not everything. [17:26] ROBOKO     I do not mind. [17:27] ROBOKO     Rather than helping you at your     job without the knowledge, [17:30] ROBOKO     I believe it would be good for me [17:32] ROBOKO     as your coworker to     understand your objectives. [17:35] KONOHA     It's more beneficial for me if     you remain a clueless helper. [17:40] ROBOKO     I have helped you this far. [17:42] ROBOKO     Do you believe there is something that could     stop me from helping you if you explain? [17:47] ROBOKO     You can tell me anything. [17:51] KONOHA     I suppose you're right. [17:52] KONOHA     We've been together for a while now. [17:56] KONOHA     I don't think you'd leave me just due to     disliking something about me now. [18:05] ROBOKO     I see. [18:06] ROBOKO     So that is your reason. [18:09] KONOHA     This is the first time I've     told anyone about this. [18:13] ROBOKO     I knew the name "Koga Konoha" was an alias,     but to think that you had such a past... [18:18] KONOHA     Now that I've told you my reasons,     will you still work with me? [18:24] ROBOKO     Of course I will. [18:25] ROBOKO     As I said, I will not reject you. [18:32] KONOHA     Satoko-chan, your skin is cold. [18:39] SATOKO     Hey! [18:40] SATOKO     What is this heartwarming atmosphere?! [18:43] SIGN     Hug... [18:44] SATOKO     H-Hugging?! [18:47] KONOHA     You're here, [18:48] KONOHA     fake Satoko-chan. [18:49] SATOKO     I'm not! [18:51] SATOKO     I'm not fake! [18:52] SATOKO     That one is the fake! [18:54] SATOKO     Didn't it feel hard when you hugged it? [18:56] SATOKO     You just said it felt cold, too! [18:58] SATOKO     That is robot! Cold! [18:59] SATOKO     I am human! Warm! [19:02] KONOHA     You make me sick. [19:04] KONOHA     I held back last time because you     look so similar to Satoko-chan. [19:07] MARIN     This doesn't look good, kunoichi! [19:09] SATOKO     Marin-san! [19:10] MARIN     Her murderous intent is no joke! [19:12] SATOKO     Whoa, scary! [19:12] KONOHA     That girl over there didn't bother me     since she was lower in the rankings, [19:17] KONOHA     but lately, her rank's been skyrocketing. [19:19] MARIN     Gulp. [19:20] KONOHA     Satoko-chan, please. [19:21] ROBOKO     Yes. [19:22] SATOKO     "Yes"? [19:30] ROBOKO     I released a special powder. [19:32] ROBOKO     Now no one around us can see us. [19:35] KONOHA     Thank you, Satoko-chan. [19:37] SATOKO; MARIN     What?! That's too convenient! [19:39] MARIN     Roboko, I'm the one who created you! [19:42] ROBOKO     Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot... [19:43] ROBOKO     Turn. [19:44] MARIN     Hey! It's pretending it can't hear me! [19:46] SATOKO     Wait, where's Konoha-san? [19:48] MARIN     This isn't good, kunoichi! [19:49] MARIN     Even if it's two people versus     one person and one robot, [19:51] MARIN     I can't do anything with my bare hands! [19:53] MARIN     Do you have a plan? [19:55] SATOKO     No way! I know more than anyone     how strong Konoha-san is— [19:58] SATOKO     One robot... [19:58] SIGN     2 people VS 1 person + 1 robot [20:00] SATOKO     That's it! [20:01] MARIN     What is it, kunoichi? [20:03] SATOKO     Konoha-san! [20:05] SATOKO     Look! [20:17] SATOKO     My ninjutsu turns things into leaves. [20:21] SATOKO     Robots are things, not people! [20:24] SATOKO     Now do you understand     that I'm the real one?! [20:45] SATOKO     Konoha-san? [20:51] KONOHA     Oh... Right. [20:54] KONOHA     You're the real Satoko-chan. [20:57] SATOKO     Konoha-san! [20:59] KONOHA     I don't need that right now. [21:01] SATOKO     Well, let's go home! [21:04] KONOHA     Ah... [21:07] KONOHA     Yeah. [21:09] SATOKO     Marin-san, thank you for taking care of me! [21:14] MARIN     Roboko... [21:19] SATOKO     We're home. [21:21] KONOHA     The miso soup... [21:23] SATOKO     Roboko made that, right? [21:25] SATOKO     Should I toss it and make a new batch? [21:29] KONOHA     No, I'll eat it. [21:31] KONOHA     I will. [21:52] SATOKO     Oh. It's pretty good. [23:26] SIGN     To Be Continued [23:29] SIGN     Next [23:29] SIGN     Episode [23:30] SATOKO     Konoha-san, it's the next     episode's preview. [23:33] KONOHA     Say it like Roboko would. [23:34] SATOKO     Huh? Um, um... [23:35] SATOKO     Konoha-san. It is the preview     for the next episode. [23:37] KONOHA     Keep that up for a while.