12 - A Ninja and an Assassin Under One Roof

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] ANNOUNCEMENT
    Okay, today's lunchtime
    tune is "Yarenno? Endless,"
[00:07] ANNOUNCEMENT
    requested by Yamaguchi Akane from Class 2-A.
[00:15] YOSHIDA
    Koga-san's been away for so long...
[00:32] SIGN
    A Ninja and an Assassin
    Under One Roof
[01:50] SIGN
    A Ninja and an Assassin
    Under One Roof
[01:50] SIGN
    Leaf 12
[01:52] SIGN
    Your backed up data
    has been retrieved.
[01:52] SATOKO
    Marin-san! My data came back!
[01:57] MARIN
    Good thing you had all your
    data in cloud storage.
[02:01] SATOKO
    Cloud?
[02:02] ROBOKO II
    It is a data storage space on the Internet.
[02:05] SATOKO
    Time to reach out to Konoha-san!
[02:09] SATOKO
    Oh? I have a missed call from Konoha-san from when my phone was missing.
[02:12] SIGN
    Konoha-san
[02:12] SIGN
    Missed Call                             1
[02:14] SATOKO
    That's rare.
[02:16] SATOKO
    I wonder what she wanted to say.
[02:18] MARIN
    Maybe it was an accident.
[02:23] SATOKO
    She won't answer.
[02:24] MARIN
    She is abroad.
    Maybe the signal's not very good.
[02:29] MARIN
    But she should be coming home soon.
[02:31] SATOKO
    You're right!
[02:33] SATOKO
    It's been nearly two weeks, after all.
[02:36] MARIN
    Oh, yeah.
[02:37] MARIN
    There's somewhere I need
    you to go for me today.
[02:39] ROBOKO II
    A-hup.
[02:42] SIGN
    Dental Assassiates
[02:42] SATOKO
    So this is what people call the "dentist"!
[02:44] SIGN
    Teeth
[02:46] SATOKO
    We didn't have anything
    like this in the village!
[02:48] MARIN
    All right. First, let's get you a new tooth!
[02:49] SIGN
    Dental Assassiates
[02:54] SATOKO
    M-Marin-san...
    Please don't let go of my hand...
[02:57] DENTIST
    Okay, open wide.
[02:58] MARIN
    O-Okay!
[02:59] SIGN
    Teeth
[03:04] SATOKO
    It's back to normal!
[03:06] MARIN
    Whoa, it looks good as new!
[03:06] SIGN
    Dental Assassiates
[03:08] SATOKO
    Thank you so much, Marin-san!
[03:11] SATOKO
    Oh. I need to send a picture to Konoha-san!
[03:15] SIGN
    My tooth is back to normal
[03:20] MINATO
    How long are you staying
    at this house, Marin-chan?
[03:23] MARIN
    It's dangerous to leave the kunoichi alone,
    especially with Glasses being away.
[03:28] SATOKO
    Marin-san...
[03:30] MINATO
    She's the one being targeted. You have
    nothing to do with this, Marin-chan.
[03:35] MARIN
    Glasses left her in my care.
    Plus, she's my friend.
[03:42] MARIN
    I can't just abandon my friends.
[03:45] SATOKO
    Marin-san!
[03:48] MINATO
    I came to treat your eye because
    Marin-chan begged me.
[03:52] MINATO
    How about I give you some
    modifications as a special bonus?
[03:56] SATOKO
    Modifications?
[03:58] SATOKO
    No, I'm fine with just normal treatment...
[04:01] MINATO
    Wouldn't you like a useful eye so you
    can work better with Konoha-chan?
[04:05] SATOKO
    If I have one, will I be of use to Konoha-san?
[04:09] MINATO
    Of course!
[04:10] MINATO
    You'll be able to do more than just see!
[04:13] SATOKO
    Huh... Well, I guess I can try...
[04:16] MINATO
    Normal treatment would be too boring.
[04:18] MINATO
    I'll tack on a whole bunch
    of extra stuff for you!
[04:21] SATOKO
    Let's do it! I would love that!
[04:24] SIGN
    Today's breakfast was curry.
[04:24] SIGN
    Minato-san told me
    she can fix my eye.
[04:24] SIGN
    She said she'll do an extra-special
    treatment, so please look forward to it!
[04:27] MARIN
    Don't come near me...
[04:29] MINATO
    Good one, Marin-chan,
    but I won't fall for that trick!
[04:32] MARIN
    Stop... Hey! Hey!
[04:34] SIGN
    I'd like to go to that one 
    restaurant we went to again.
[04:34] SIGN
    Was it called Tadoya-san?
[04:34] SIGN
    There's miso soup
    waiting for you.
[04:34] SIGN
    I saw someone who 
    looked like you.
[04:35] MINATO
    So cute! Marin-chan!
[04:36] MARIN
    Your methods are not fair! I'm gonna die!
[04:37] SATOKO
    Konoha-san...
[04:48] MINATO
    Okay!
[04:48] MINATO
    The experiment—I mean...
[04:51] MINATO
    The treatment will now begin!
[04:52] SATOKO
    Huh? Did you just say "experiment"?
[04:55] MINATO
    It's been a while since I've worked
    on a live human! I'm getting excited!
[04:59] MARIN
    Remember to treat her, too.
[04:59] RABOKO II
    Spin, spin, spin...
[05:02] MINATO
    First and foremost...
[05:04] MINATO
    An eye that has flame effects!
[05:06] MARIN
    No way!
[05:07] MARIN
    That's so cool!
[05:08] MINATO
    Right? Right?
[05:12] SATOKO
    It's hot...
[05:14] SATOKO
    Is this actually on fire?
[05:21] MINATO
    Okay! On to the next experiment!
[05:23] MINATO
    An eye that summons lighting!
[05:25] SATOKO
    What?!
[05:26] MARIN
    Is there anyone who dislikes lightning?
[05:28] MARIN
    Oh, man, it's too cool! You're a genius!
[05:29] MINATO
    Come on, Satoko-chan.
    Bring forth some lighting!
[05:32] SATOKO
    O-Okay!
[05:37] MINATO
    Okay, next is an eye that
    can produce infinite water!
[05:42] SATOKO
    Huh? It won't stop!
[05:44] MINATO
    An eye with explosive tears!
[05:47] SATOKO
    Ka-shing!
[05:47] MINATO
    An eye that can blow up anything it looks at!
[05:50] MINATO
    It has a 20-meter radius!
[05:56] MARIN
    Me, me, me, me! I'm next!
[05:58] SATOKO
    This isn't a toy, you know.
[05:59] MARIN
    I know.
[06:01] MARIN
    You'd prefer to have something
    useful rather than cool, right?
[06:05] SATOKO
    Huh?
[06:05] MARIN
    Therefore I bestow upon you...
[06:07] MARIN
    Roboko's eye!
[06:09] MARIN
    Using the parts of your
    fallen foe as your own...
[06:13] MARIN
    How metal is that?!
[06:17] SIGN
    Profile
     Izutsumi Marin
     Age: 18 (Appears 10)
     Occupation: Assassin
     Hobbies: Tinkering with mechs.
    modifications, watching Koga Konoha
     Good at: Making mechs
     Skills: Can sometimes make amazing inventions
     Likes: Konoha, Satoko, the robots she makes, bread
     Dislikes: Apple, sour things, cleaning,
    her sister post-reunion
     Personality: Good at taking care of others, gets lonely
     Cellphone: Android
[06:17] SATOKO
    This is amazing!
[06:19] SIGN
    Profile
     Izutsumi Minato
     Age: 23 (Appears 15)
     Occupation: Doctor
     Hobbies: Thinking about Marin-chan
     Good at: Making medicine,
    human body and anatomy modifications
     Skills: Extremely intelligent
     Likes: Marin-chan
     Dislikes: Satoko
     Personality: Gets out of control when it comes to her sister
[06:19] MARIN
    That's not all.
[06:21] MARIN
    You can use the Roboko beam!
[06:24] SATOKO
    What?! That thing Konoha-san
    was raving about?!
[06:28] MARIN
    Correct! Go on, try it.
[06:30] MARIN
    The release button is here.
[06:32] SATOKO
    Okay!
[06:34] SATOKO
    Will this just explode again?
[06:37] MARIN
    It's okay this time.
[06:38] MINATO
    Hurry! Hurry!
[06:43] SIGN
    Calls from Konoha-san: 0
[06:43] SIGN
    Messages from Konoha-san: 0
[06:43] SIGN
    Satoko's Vitals: Healthy
[06:43] SIGN
    Today's menu is undecided.
    Think about it
[06:43] SIGN
    Konoha-san.jpg
[06:43] SIGN
    Shopping list: 6/8
     Soy sauce, eggs, detergent
     rice, milk, toilet paper,
     oil, dashi stock
[06:43] SIGN
    Miso soup: Delicious
     Keeping warm 75C
[06:43] SIGN
    Rice cooker
    Time until cooked: 25 minutes
[06:48] SATOKO
    Could it be... Konoha-san?
[06:51] SATOKO
    Welcome hom—
[06:55] YOSHIDA
    Hello.
[06:56] YOSHIDA
    Huh? Are you okay, Satoko-chan?
[06:58] YOSHIDA
    Is that a new cosplay?
[07:00] SATOKO
    Oh, I'm working on a few
    modifications for my eye.
[07:04] YOSHIDA
    It's cute.
[07:06] SATOKO
    Did you need something, Yoshida-san?
[07:08] YOSHIDA
    I came to bring Koga-san's
    belongings from her locker.
[07:14] YOSHIDA
    People were starting to complain
    that it was too messy.
[07:21] YOSHIDA
    Is Koga-san back?
[07:23] YOSHIDA
    She told me she was visiting a
    relative who lives very far away
[07:26] YOSHIDA
    and would be gone for a while.
[07:29] YOSHIDA
    But it's been three weeks, and she
    won't respond to my messages.
[07:33] SATOKO
    It's true.
[07:35] SATOKO
    But Konoha-san should come home any day now...
[07:39] SATOKO
    Wait! Has it been that long already?!
[07:42] YOSHIDA
    It's past her expected return date?
[07:44] YOSHIDA
    That's worrisome.
[07:54] SATOKO
    Marin-san, are you heading out?
[07:56] MARIN
    It's for work.
    You're coming with me, kunoichi.
[08:00] MINATO
    What? But we finally get to
    hang out together. Let's play!
[08:04] MARIN
    I can't just do that.
[08:06] MARIN
    If I don't start doing my jobs,
[08:09] MARIN
    I'll end up like Glasses and get
    roped into a penalty job...
[08:11] SATOKO
    What? Is that the kind of
    job Konoha-san is doing?
[08:16] MARIN
    Shoot...
[08:18] MINATO
    You didn't know?
[08:20] MINATO
    She went out to earn the
    money to treat your eye.
[08:24] SATOKO
    No... Konoha-san's...
[08:27] MARIN
    Sis! I told you not to say that!
[08:29] MINATO
    Oh? Did you?
[08:32] MARIN
    It's not what you think, kunoichi!
[08:33] MARIN
    Well, it is, but...
[08:35] MARIN
    Either way, it's a job she had to do,
[08:37] MARIN
    and she can get a ton of money for it, so...
[08:39] MARIN
    Wait, I didn't mean she's doing it for
    the money... It's also for your sake...
[08:43] MARIN
    Er, wait, this isn't something you should
    feel guilty about... What I mean is...
[08:46] MINATO
    You're so cute when you're
    panicking, Marin-chan!
[08:49] SATOKO
    Is that what was happening?
[08:51] MARIN
    Either way, don't worry.
[08:54] MARIN
    I know it's going to be tougher than usual,
[08:57] MARIN
    but I'm sure Glasses will
    come home safe and sound!
[09:01] SATOKO
    You're right!
[09:02] MARIN
    Yup, yup!
[09:03] MINATO
    Will this one's body hold out
    until she comes home, though?
[09:07] SATOKO
    Huh?
[09:09] SATOKO
    Konoha-san, please hurry home!
[09:16] SATOKO
    I didn't realize being an assassin
    was such a dangerous occupation.
[09:20] SATOKO
    I had no idea.
[09:22] MARIN
    Of course it is. It's assassin work.
[09:24] MARIN
    They do a lot of things
    that can't be made public.
[09:27] MARIN
    Once you join, it's not easy to get out.
[09:30] MARIN
    You ninjas get pursued as runaways
    if you leave the village, right?
[09:35] MARIN
    It's the same with assassin organizations.
[09:38] MARIN
    Even when we're not paying attention,
[09:40] MARIN
    the people in the organization are
    always watching us, wherever we go.
[09:43] MARIN
    Haven't you noticed suspicious people
    lurking around everywhere you go?
[09:48] GIRL
    Thank you for the balloon!
[09:54] SIGN
    Pachinko
[09:54] SATOKO
    Could it be Yoshida-san?!
[09:56] MARIN
    Who are you talking about?
[10:08] SATOKO
    It's done.
[10:10] MARIN
    You're not going to use
    your Roboko eye here?
[10:13] SATOKO
    Oh, I forgot.
[10:16] SIGN
    Minato-san told me she can fix my eye.
     She said she'll do an extra-special treatment,
    so please look forward to it!
     We went through disasters related to
    fire, lighting, and water.
     Konoha-san, is work okay?
    Please don't push yourself.
     Marin-san's robot repaired
    our house for us again.
     Yoshida-san came by to drop off
    your belongings from school.
     I'm helping Marin-san with her work today.
[10:17] SATOKO
    Konoha-san still hasn't contacted me.
[10:21] SATOKO
    She hasn't even seen the
    messages I sent her.
[10:24] MARIN
    I also reached out to her since I was
    worried, but haven't heard back.
[10:29] MARIN
    She's not dead, is she?
[10:31] (Flashback) KONOHA
    Oh. If I don't come back,
    just assume I'm dead.
[10:36] SATOKO
    If Konoha-san really died...
[10:40] SATOKO
    What am I supposed to do from now on?
[10:50] YUKARI
    Whoa, there.
[10:51] YUKARI
    I'll be taking the reward of that
    guy you turned into leaves.
[10:56] YUKARI
    Along with both of your heads!
[10:59] SATOKO
    This card is...
[11:00] MARIN
    A pursuer!
[11:01] SATOKO
    Marin-san!
[11:02] SATOKO
    That's the ninja I drove away!
[11:04] YUKARI
    You so graciously took care
    of me that time, Satoko.
[11:08] SATOKO
    Huh? Did you gain weight?
[11:10] YUKARI
    No I didn't, stupid!
[11:12] YUKARI
    You think I sat around and did nothing
    this whole time I plotted to kill you?
[11:17] SATOKO
    You didn't show up for weeks.
    I thought you'd given up.
[11:25] MARIN
    Not good!
[11:26] ROBOKO II
    Master!
[11:29] YUKARI
    C'mon!
[11:30] MARIN
    Roboko!
[11:34] SATOKO
    Marin-san?!
[11:37] YUKARI
    I'll show you my magic tricks.
[11:41] SATOKO
    Huh? Wait!
[11:45] YUKARI
    As I thought. You can't turn
    living things into leaves.
[11:54] SATOKO
    Why?!
[11:55] YUKARI
    You thought I'd fall for the same trick?
[11:59] SATOKO
    An octopus?
[12:00] YUKARI
    Is it me, or are you weaker?
    You've got a lame eye now, too.
[12:05] YUKARI
    See ya.
[12:07] ROBOKO
    Roboko beam!
[12:10] SATOKO
    Ouch.
[12:10] ROBOKO
    Roboko beam!
[12:15] ROBOKO
    Roboko beam!
[12:17] ROBOKO
    Roboko beam!
[12:18] ROBOKO
    Roboko beam!
[12:25] ROBOKO
    Roboko beam!
[12:26] ROBOKO
    Roboko beam!
[12:27] ROBOKO
    Roboko beam!
[12:32] YUKARI
    That's such a cheat.
[12:48] YUKARI
    You little... Die! Die!
[12:50] YUKARI
    Scaring me like that!
[12:55] YUKARI
    C'mon! C'mon!
[12:57] YUKARI
    Time to end this...
[13:01] YUKARI
    Shit!
[13:11] KONOHA
    Oh. A dead ninja.
[13:17] SATOKO
    Ninkoro.
[13:20] KONOHA
    Ninkoro.
[13:43] SATOKO
    Konoha-san... Welcome home!
[13:48] KONOHA
    I'm home.
[13:51] YUKARI
    Assassin...
[13:53] YUKARI
    What's with that getup?
[13:58] KONOHA
    Huh?
[13:59] KONOHA
    I don't need to hear that from you.
[14:01] KONOHA
    How upsetting.
[14:03] YUKARI
    I was able to get you last time.
[14:05] YUKARI
    What makes you think you can win
    now, especially with one arm?!
[14:11] KONOHA
    I wonder.
[14:12] KONOHA
    I wasn't at my best back then.
[14:14] KONOHA
    Plus...
[14:19] KONOHA
    I was alone back then.
[14:22] KONOHA
    But now there are two of us.
[14:24] YUKARI
    Shut up.
[14:25] YUKARI
    What difference is one or two
    good-for-nothings going to make?
[14:33] SATOKO
    Job complete!
[14:39] KONOHA
    Now, let's get Marin and
    Roboko and head home.
[14:45] SATOKO
    Konoha-san, um...
[14:48] SATOKO
    Y-Your arm!
[14:51] KONOHA
    Oh, yeah.
[14:52] KONOHA
    I got in a bit of a bind, is all.
[14:54] SATOKO
    That's not just a bit...
[14:55] KONOHA
    It's all right.
[14:58] KONOHA
    I brought it back in one piece.
[14:59] SIGN
    Requires Refrigeration
    This is raw flesh.
    Please keep away from direct sunlight
    and high temperatures.
    Surgically reattach within the day.
[15:00] SATOKO
    Your arm!
[15:18] SIGN
    A Few Days Later
[15:21] ALL
    Let's eat!
[15:28] SATOKO
    Are you okay now, Marin-san and Roboko?
[15:32] MARIN
    I only fainted, so my injuries were minor.
[15:36] ROBOKO II
    No need to worry about me, either.
[15:39] SATOKO
    I'm glad we're all back safe and sound.
[15:43] MINATO
    Since you seem to be doing fine, do you
    want to continue being my guinea pig?
[15:47] SATOKO
    No way.
[15:49] KONOHA
    What did you all do while I was away?
[15:52] SATOKO
    Oh, Konoha-san, I updated
    you about it every day!
[15:56] SATOKO
    These two were so mean!
[15:58] KONOHA
    Oh, right.
[16:00] KONOHA
    Sorry, my phone broke,
    so I didn't see any of that.
[16:04] KONOHA
    But I couldn't get in touch
    with you, either, Satoko-chan.
[16:08] SATOKO
    Th-That's because...
[16:10] SATOKO
    I accidentally flushed it down the toilet...
[16:13] MARIN
    She used the toilet in the weirdest
    position. It freaked me out.
[16:16] KONOHA
    What?
[16:17] KONOHA
    Didn't I tell you not to use the
    bathroom that way anymore?
[16:17] SIGN
    Please use the toilet sitting down.
[16:25] MARIN
    Anyway, Glasses...
[16:26] MARIN
    I'm amazed you came home partway
    through the challenge mission.
[16:30] KONOHA
    Well, normally, losing an arm wouldn't
    be enough to be allowed to withdraw.
[16:34] KONOHA
    But I killed five or six enemy
    executives during that mission.
[16:40] KONOHA
    So I negotiated with the organization,
[16:42] KONOHA
    and I was able to come
    back on the condition
[16:44] KONOHA
    that I'd get no reward and
    my rank wouldn't change.
[16:47] MARIN
    But why did you decide to
    come back all of a sudden?
[16:50] MARIN
    If you'd kept going, you could have gone up
    in the rankings and gotten a big reward.
[16:55] KONOHA
    Yeah, but...
[16:57] KONOHA
    Satoko-chan suddenly stopped contacting me.
[17:03] MARIN
    What?
[17:04] MARIN
    You mean you really came back because
    you were worried about the kunoichi?
[17:12] MARIN
    Seriously?
[17:21] SATOKO
    Marin-san said they're
    going to a super spa now.
[17:25] KONOHA
    Uh-huh.
[17:29] SATOKO
    I'm glad your arm was able to be reattached.
[17:32] KONOHA
    It's amazing, right?
[17:33] KONOHA
    I was a bit scared since
    the surgery seemed shady.
[17:35] SATOKO
    I'm glad Minato-san decided to treat
    you because you saved Marin-san.
[17:42] KONOHA
    And I'm glad your eye was treated, too.
[17:44] SATOKO
    Yes! Thank you so much, Konoha-san.
[17:48] KONOHA
    For what?
[17:51] KONOHA
    Hm? Wait a minute.
[17:53] KONOHA
    Aren't the colors of your eyes different?
[17:55] SATOKO
    Huh? Are they?
[17:57] KONOHA
    Those two did a sloppy job...
[17:59] KONOHA
    I'll have them redo it.
[18:01] SATOKO
    It's all right!
[18:04] SATOKO
    For me, this is my first victory as well as
    my medal for being able to protect you!
[18:09] SATOKO
    I like that this is proof of that!
[18:13] KONOHA
    What a cool thing to say.
[18:16] KONOHA
    As for my scar, it's just
    proof that I screwed up.
[18:19] SATOKO
    That's not true!
[18:23] SATOKO
    The scars on your belly and arm...
[18:25] SATOKO
    They're both scars you got for my sake.
[18:29] KONOHA
    Well... I guess...
[18:37] KONOHA
    You're right. We're even, then.
[18:40] SATOKO
    Exactly! We're even!
[18:43] KONOHA
    Though it was for my own sake, too.
[18:46] SATOKO
    There you go again.
[18:49] SATOKO
    Oh! That's right!
[18:53] SATOKO
    You promised you'd tell me
    when you came back, right?
[18:59] KONOHA
    About what?
[19:00] SATOKO
    Don't play dumb!
[19:02] SATOKO
    Your reason for wanting to
    climb the assassin rankings!
[19:09] KONOHA
    Do you regret meeting me and
    living like this, Satoko-chan?
[19:16] SATOKO
    Not at all! I'm having fun!
[19:19] SATOKO
    I can't imagine living any other way!
[19:24] SATOKO
    From your side of things, your ranking
    has dropped, and you're also in debt.
[19:29] SATOKO
    You're in a worse situation
    than when we first met.
[19:33] SATOKO
    I'm sorry.
[19:36] KONOHA
    That's not true.
[19:42] KONOHA
    I see. Then...
[19:49] KONOHA
    This is just between the two of us, okay?
[21:23] SIGN
    The End
[21:30] SIGN
    I heard that the ninja from last time showed up again. Are you okay?
[21:33] SIGN
    Inbox
[21:33] SIGN
    Satoko
[21:33] SIGN
    Everything's good!
[21:37] KURO
    What did I tell you?
[21:39] KURO
    She's totally fine.
[21:44] YURIKO
    What a relief.
[21:46] YURIKO
    I'd like to eat with them again.
[21:51] SIGN
    Sisters forever
[21:51] SIGN
    Together forever
[21:52] MINATO
    You're so cute, Marin-chan!
[21:55] MINATO
    Let's take another!
[21:57] MARIN
    That's enough...
[22:01] SIGN
    School Commute Path
[22:03] YOSHIDA
    See you tomorrow.
[22:10] SIGN
    Caution: Merging Traffic
[22:14] SIGN
    Stop
[22:17] SATOKO
    Sorry for the wait, Konoha-san!
[22:27] KANON
    Yes, I found you!
[22:28] KANON
    The runaway ninja and Assassin-san!
[22:30] KANON
    This is a dead end!
[22:35] KANON
    Yippee!
[22:36] KANON
    Nice to meet you!
[22:37] KANON
    I am a pursuer from the village,
    Kusagakure Kanon-chan!
[22:40] KANON
    Hey, hey.
[22:41] KANON
    What do you think my ninjutsu is?
[22:45] KANON
    Of course I'm not telling you!
[22:48] KANON
    I want you two to regret it once you die!
[22:58] SATOKO
    Good work today!
[23:02] KONOHA
    We'll have to work hard again
    since my ranking went down.
[23:05] SATOKO
    Yes!
[23:06] SATOKO
    Today's just the beginning!
[23:09] KONOHA
    You're right.
[23:11] KONOHA
    Let's do our best together.
[23:24] SATOKO
    Yes!
[23:34] SIGN
    290 Glasses and Shinobi
    Promising     45 reviews
    New Review
    Thank you for your quick correspondence.
    I was skeptical at first because of the 
    negative reviews, but my targets disappeared
    as if they'd been spirited away!
    Amazing! I'll use your service next time, as well.
    Anon (Female)